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#and i was texting the spice and moping about how much i hate dating
cosmogyros · 2 years
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sukirichi · 3 years
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wine: ingredient 44 + sugar 7 + spice 12 for gojo satoru *slams table* thank you for feeding us kind maam
for sukirichi’s milestone event: 
the meal order : 🍷 + 44 (hate sex au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) + 12 (praising kink) your dinner has been served! also bruh LOL you’re a choso simp this is hilarious spspsps
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— who are you to deny him when he only wants to worship you?
gojo satoru x fem! reader
contents/warnings: nsfw, slight angst, reader is hot girl shit, gojo long schlong, hate sex, car sex, spanking, riding gojo, slight angst, praising kink taken to a DIFFERENT LEVEL (i want to make people question the extent of their praising kink), body marking, rough sex lol it’s always rough in my stories, unedited
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Your friends pushed you out of the club, all of you laughing, hands clutched around your waists as loud, drunken giggles fill in the night air. It was a wild night; your friends invited you to the club to take your mind off your stupid boyfriend. You thought you’d end up moping around, too much of a buzzkill to ever let loose because it wasn’t that easy to stop thinking about him, but even you were surprised when you started grinding with people on the dance floor just three drinks later.
The gals were more than delighted to see you enjoying your night, only dragging you out the club when you nearly shoved your tongue down another man’s throat.
Scratch that – your friends called you to hang out because you lied about having a shitty day at work. You’ve had your fair share of shitty days, but you were one of the most prominent lawyers in your firm, no one dared gave you a bad day. Your subordinates knew that if they even looked your way without your permission, you wouldn’t hesitate to dump paperwork on them, or assign them to the nastiest cases just to piss them off.
Yeah, you were sort of a bitch, but you didn’t care.
It took a lot to get where you were now. It wasn’t easy to be a woman in a male-dominated workplace and you were forced to strip your softness off, replacing it with hard armor and sharp tongue concealed under bold red lips, a tight pencil skirt that accentuated your curves, and a pair of black suede pumps.
You deserved all your success. You were smart, stunning, confident, powerful – so then why did you feel like shit around your shitty boyfriend?
The answer was loud and clear. It bothered you to no end that he wanted to keep your relationship a secret because his family was too different from yours, coming up with a shitty excuse that you were just “too different.” He never bothered explaining, and every time you confronted him about, he’d only wave his hand, distract you with those delicious and soft lips of his until you forget it over and over again.
You were okay with it at first. It wasn’t a really serious relationship; you only started dating him because you saw yourself a lot in him – confident, self-assured, maybe even a little cocky – plus, he was extremely attractive.
But the longer you spent time with him, you were beginning to fall in love.
Yes, you, the ice princess of one of the most respected law firms all over the city was beginning to soften up at a certain blue-eyed man who had magical hands.
But tonight – tonight you’d forget about him.
Your stomach was heavy with expensive liquor and you were nearly staggering on your knees, the only thing preventing you from falling were your more sober friends. The others were holding you close to keep you upright, while one of your friends moved to a quieter part of the block to call an Uber for you. Your friends were all happily married, some with children, so they couldn’t really stay out too late at night and chaperone you all the way back home.
You were well-aware you were being a bother, but fuck, couldn’t you lean on someone for just once? Sighing, you leaned closer to your warm friend, mumbling something about wanting to forget about everything you’ve been through.
“There, there,” she patted your head comfortingly, “You’ll be fine, babe, you’re a strong woman. I know you’ll get through this.”
“But I hate it,” you drunkenly admitted, lips trembling the more you thought about him, every stupid little thing about him – his soft white hair, those pretty blue eyes he always hid under shades even at night, his large, calloused hands that always felt so rough when keeping your legs open for him and you couldn’t even start talking about his cock, he was just so blessed and perfect in every little thing that you hated it. You hated him. “I don’t like this feeling,” you sniffled, “I feel like I’m being looked down on, that I’m being pushed to the side. I feel unimportant, like I’m not good enough.”
“Who said you aren’t?”
You froze in your friend’s arms, eyes meeting with those blue ones you could never get enough of. As if noticing your silence, your friend immediately covers you with her arm, glaring at your boyfriend. “Do we know you or something?”
“No,” Satoru replies coolly, brows furrowed in the state you were in. You turned away from him with a scoff, arms crossed on your chest. Why did he have to be here out of all places? Wasn’t he busy with work or whatever family shit he apparently couldn’t tell you about even though you’ve both been dating for a year and a half now? He just wasn’t giving you a break, and the hairs on your arm stood up when he said, “Not that you have to, but may I please drive Y/N home?”
“She’s not going anywhere—”
“She’s a friend of mine,” he insisted, turning to you with a pleading look in his eyes. You almost melted. Almost. “I need to talk to her about something.”
You rolled your eyes and stepped forward, your friend’s arm latching onto yours. You could tell she was worried from the way her gaze darted back and forth between you two. Satoru was, after all, clearly uninvited, and he didn’t seem like your type either. You always insisted you preferred refined man, men like his friend Nanami Kento, but alas, you were stuck dating this one instead.
“It’s fine,” you told her with a fake smile, “I’ll call you later when I get home.”
You never got to call her – simply because you didn’t make it home. The moment Satoru closed the car doors behind you, you both got into a heated argument. Satoru hated silences and always made sure the car was filled with music, but this time, he didn’t notice there weren’t any songs when you opened your mouth.
Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the anger and pent-up tension of not being able to hold him and kiss him in public like normal couples did, in addition to the fact Satoru never explained why he insisted on keeping you a secret – whatever it was, you just snapped.
“I don’t even understand why I’m still dating you!” you huffed, legs crossed on top of the other as you gazed out the window. Lips trembling, you tried so hard to not cry, especially not in front of the man who was breaking your heart. “This is hardly a relationship when I’m not free to call or text you as you please, when I can’t go out with you on dates and we’re always hanging in my apartment. I’m your girlfriend, Satoru, we’ve been together for a long time but I honestly don’t even feel like it. What the hell are we dating for then?”
Satoru clenched his teeth, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. “How many times do I have to tell you that I love you,” he said coolly, acting unbothered and unaffected as ever, but the clench in his jaw said otherwise. “If that’s not enough—”
“Of course it’s not enough!”
“I’m trying here too, okay?” Satoru slammed on the brakes and parked on a desolated spot, hands running through his hair while he breathed heavily. Once he’d calmed down, he shook his head, refusing to look you in the eye like a man. “I’m trying my best. It’s just hard. It isn’t as easy as it looks.”
“What isn’t easy as it looks? Dating me? Letting the whole world know I’m yours?” when Satoru didn’t respond, you scoffed, patience running low and thin. “You’re pathetic, Satoru. Dating you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and I thought I was a smart woman.”
With a shake of your head, you slung your purse over your shoulder and reached for the car door. You were about to leave when Satoru suddenly pulled you towards him, his lips slamming into yours.  Like always, you fell into his trap, into the blissful pleasure that was his lips and his hands, and you hated it, hated him, hated him so fucking much because you were so tired of his entire existence.
You wanted to let him know he was insufferable.
You wanted him to feel the pain and misery he put you through.
“I fucking hate you,” you snarled as Satoru kept fucking into you, the entire car windows fogged and the vehicle shaking. “I wish I never met you, you asshole,” Satoru, displeased, only buries himself deeper into you, as if they would erase his mistakes and shortcomings.
Satoru’s large hands snake to your waist and onto your breasts, expertly tweaking them between his fingers. Your head fell back to the crook of his shoulder, your back pressed against his hard chest as Satoru trapped you in his strong arms, impaling you on his cock over and over again. “You’re lying,” he whispered into your neck, tongue and teeth playfully sucking at the tender flesh. His grip on your hip was bruising and possessive, and your breasts bounced fervently at how he snapped his hips upwards to feel your walls coat him and hug him tightly and warmly. “Why would you hate me, sweet girl? Don’t I always make you feel good? Don’t I remind you enough that you’re the best fucking thing ever?”
You didn’t respond right away, your breath taken away with how you could never get enough of this, of him. He was right no matter how much you denied it. Despite being terrible in everything else, Satoru knew and respected you, even admired your dominance and intelligence when other men were intimidated by it.
No, he worshipped you. He made you feel like you were a divine goddess when he tugged at your hair to tilt your cheek to him, his tongue slithering to your lips to taste himself on his tongue from when you previously busted his nut with just your mouth.
Lipsticks smeared on his cheeks and crescent moons on his pale thigh from your nails, Satoru looked wonderful beneath you like this.
He was beautiful, so damn beautiful, but it didn’t change the fact he’d put you through hell these past few weeks. 
No, it wasn’t just the past few weeks. Things were always complicated with him. He was perfect in everything else but when it came to you, he made it a mission to hide you and your relationship, changing your contact name to a totally random one “just in case.”
Your mind was confuzzled and you felt like you were on the urge of breaking apart from both his ministrations and his confusing treatment over you. Before you knew it, you were kissing him back fervently with the intensity of your hatred over this man.
Your hand reached his to guide it to rub at your clit, and Satoru, eager to make you feel good as always, happily obliged. Satoru kept bouncing you on his cock until you were too overwhelmed to speak, crying and mumbling incomprehensible words. 
Him, only him, would ever have the ability to let the sharp-tongued and intelligent woman who never bat an eye in court lose her wide vocabulary, falling apart in his arms while his long length abused your puffy lips.
“You made me feel like shit,” you finally admitted, tugging at his hair until Satoru is lowly groaning at the slight sting. But did you care? Of course you didn’t. You wanted to hurt him too.
“How so, sweet girl?”
“I can never have you the way I want,” you answered through gritted teeth, moaning out when Satoru suddenly thrusted too deep, hitting your most sensitive spot that had you quivering in his hold. “You don’t—” you gasped, “You don’t understand what I feel, how you make me feel like I’m never good enough for you. That’s the reason why you don’t want anyone else knowing, right? ‘Cause I’m not good enough for you, never gonna be good—”
Satoru didn’t let you finish your words, shutting you up with his cock instead. The vehicle shook uncontrollably with your mating sessions, and Satoru silences you by pulling at your leg to press it on his chest instead.
The sudden switch in positions had your muscles tensing and stretching, adding only to both your pleasures with the new thrown in factor of slight pain. You felt Satoru kiss your neck down to your shoulders, scraping his canines until you were absolutely lost. You gave in, you gave up, head lolling back next to his loving lips that murmured sweet nothings.
“Not true, sweet girl,” he reminded you, flattening you on his cock and making you roll your hips while you slid up and down his pole sensually. Unlike the previous pace, the slow sensation of your pussy hugging his cock with your arousal letting him slide in easily allowed you to feel every part of him, almost mind-wrecking at how good he’s able to make you feel even after such a long time of having him already.
“You’re the sexiest and most intelligent woman I’ve ever met, the best, the absolute blessing of my life, and I just want to protect you, sweet girl. You’re too precious for me to lose,” Satoru kept mumbling over and over again.
You could no longer process his words functionally, not when he’s slamming you down his length like that and burying himself in you as if he didn’t want to be anywhere else.
Satoru’s hands were still curious, appreciative and gentle as he runs his hands, dipping into all your curves and pressing into your most sensitive spots the way you liked it.
“You’re always so good for me so no, sweet girl, never gonna let you go, not when you’re so perfect for me,” Satoru eased your worries – temporarily – with his words, and you’d believe his lie, you’d fall into the same mistakes over and over again because you were just that weak and powerless when it came to him. “You’re made just for me, sweet girl, you’re the prettiest and your pussy is the prettiest – I worship you, I adore you. You’re so divine.”
You blamed it all on your ego.
He praised you so well, made you feel so good and always placed you on top of the world when he’s inside you like this. Even if you knew he’d knock you down the pedestal just hours later, you opened your doors for him all over again.
Satoru knew this too, because he rammed inside your walls and ruined everything that you held firm beliefs in, his large hands smacking your ass to urge you to bounce on him like you weren’t made for any other purpose than to be the woman he adored.
You lied to yourself – you always did – but did you care? So what if you couldn’t be the one he really loved? What did it all matter when you were the one he worshipped?
For the sake of the praise and the compliments, you’d let him fuck you and play with your heart over and over again. It was a toxic routine you’d never get tired of, and you no longer complained, forgetting about everything he’d done and every heartbreak he caused you because he was there, whispering into your ears how good you made him feel and how you were the only one made to take him, and you didn’t care. Not anymore – not when you were worshipped.
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stellar-starseed · 3 years
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Closer Than That
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Group: Stray Kids
Pairing: Changbin x reader, Jisung x reader, polyamory
Summary: Your best friends happen to be 3racha, but Changbin was your closest friend from childhood. When things start to take a different turn in your relationship, you’re left wondering which way is up.
Word Count: 1,791
Chapter: 12/14
Other Chapters: Master List
Warnings: 18+; sexual content, language
Chapter 12
Changbin was the first to know Jisung broke up with you in a letter. It didn’t sit well with him. He knew Jisung better than anyone and he still couldn’t figure this one out.
He was upset with himself for putting you in this position. If he hadn’t suggested this maybe you wouldn’t be hurting. He was furious with Jisung for hurting you. He was even mad that you waited so long to tell him.
He could sense you weren’t yourself and he thought it was because you were missing him just as much, little did he know you were heart broken. When he finally asked if you had sorted things out with Jisung you told him everything.
Changbin didn’t want to make things worse, but he knew he couldn’t sit on the sidelines. Changbin waited until everyone was exhausted from a day of press and recordings. He pulled Jisung aside on their way into the hotel. Jisung knew exactly what was coming. He felt like an asshole already, but he was about to feel much worse and he knew it.
“A fucking letter?” Changbin tried to keep his voice down but the anger was apparent.
Jisung looked to the ground. Changbin sighed. He knew Jisung wasn’t trying to be a jerk.
“She’s at home without any of us. I can’t even comfort her. You know you’re breaking her heart by doing this?” Changbin spat out everything he was thinking. He was furious and relieved and he missed you. It had been just over five weeks since he’d been able to wrap his arms around you.
“I didn’t have a choice.” Jisung sounded defeated. “I couldn’t keep doing this to her or myself. It would’ve dragged you down too.”
“Doing what?”
“I feel like the outsider, Changbin-ah!” Jisung exclaims as he holds his hands out in defeat. “I went from loving her in secret to loving her on the side line.”
“What if she really loves us the same?”
“Do you accept that?”Jisung’s shoulders slouched further forward if that was possible at this point. He turned to head toward the elevators. Changbin sluggishly followed as he thought about it.
“I want her to be happy.” Changbin said after thinking for a while. The elevator doors closed behind him as he looked at Jisung.
“At the cost of your own happiness? I thought I was going insane. Then I realized I don’t want the left overs. I don’t want..fuck man I don’t know.”
“You don’t want to wonder if you’re the only one who feels that much in the relationship.”
“You feel like that too?”
“I did.” Changbin shrugged. He was silent. Jisung pressed for more. Changbin took a deep breath. The elevator chimed and the doors opened. The young men stepped into the long hallway.
“I thought she loved you and she just pitied me.” Changbin said. Jisung stopped.
“Why?”
“Because she only ever talked about you for a while. She had this way she would get kind of nervous around me when I would get too close or something stupid. She always used to do it. When she really started falling for you, she quit doing it. She was so wrapped up in you.”
They began slowly walking again. Jisung mulled over this new information. He slowed down as they approached his room and decided to follow Changbin to his room instead.
“Then how did you guys even get together?” Jisung shook his head not understanding.
“I don’t give up that easily.” Changbin smirked.
“I’m not giving up.” Jisung defends himself.
“I never stopped what I was doing. It didn’t take long for her cute shy tendencies to return. She would try to deny them, but I saw them.” Changbin tossed his backpack down as he entered his room and turned to face Jisung.
“So?” Jisung leaned against the doorway.
“So, she didn’t stop loving me. She just started to love you too. It is weird sometimes, but it wasn’t the end of the world. If you’re tapping out that’s fine by me. I’ll have her back. But don’t be selfish and try to fuck with this later.”
Changbin’s words played over in Jisung’s head over the next few weeks. He pushed through. What could he do now? He already gave you the letter he was so sure about over a month ago. He hadn’t spoken with you since then and he didn’t think he could repair the damage.
“I don’t know whether to be exhausted or fucking hyped. That show was insane.” Chan laughed and fell back on the couch.
“Fucking exhausted.” Minho collapsed next to him.
“It was insane.” Hyunjin confirmed. “We should be hyped up right now...if I had the energy.” Hyunjin near fainted into one of the chairs.
“You guys are so old.” Jeongin rolls his eyes. He soon falls into the empty chair in closest proximity.
“I can’t wait to get home.” Changbin sighs.
“You want home cooking?” Seungmin questions.
“I want, ______.” He smiles wide.
“Aye, I hear there’s a spot open in your relationship.” Chan laughs.
“Fuck that.” Changbin shakes his head with a small smile.
“Too soon?” Chan questions with the biggest smile. Changbin laughs at Chan.
You were having such an off week, none of your newest suggestions were approved for either of the recent songs you had been working on. You felt defeated. Changbin tried his best to cheer you up via text message and sporadic video calls, but you knew his schedule was so hectic he couldn’t give you too much.
You were hesitant to text Jisung, but you told yourself you agreed with his final request to continue a friendship. He was your go to before all of this mess. You chewed on your fingernails and paced the studio. Maybe Chan would be a better choice, you thought.
You sighed to yourself for the hundredth time and tossed your phone on the couch. You thought better of it. Texting anyone was just going to create an even bigger mess. You’ve had creative blocks before and you can get yourself out of this one.
You called Somin and got voicemail. You decided to walk the building for inspiration instead. You smiled at vaguely familiar faces as you walked the halls. You remembered times with your boyfriend and immediately began to miss him all over again. You were stuck in a vicious cycle and decided to head to the cafe to stuff your sorrows down with sweets.
You put your headphones on and played back the additions to the track that were denied this morning. You made a few notes in the book you keep with you at all times. The piano may need to be used for your own song.
After you ordered a tea you hadn’t heard of before hoping to gain some sort of inspiration, you took a seat at your familiar table. Jisung passed through your mind. You forced the thoughts away. It was hard, but you were getting better at it. You knew they would be home in a few days and you had to figure out how to act normal. Whatever this new normal was.
You scribbled down some words that had been running through your head. Maybe you’ll come back to them when you figure out what to do with that piano. You thanked the waitress who brought your tea and took a sip.
“Blegh!” You nearly spit out the tea and stick your tongue out. You quickly try to recover as the waitress was not too far from your table and quickly turned to give you a look.
You made a mental note never to order that tea again. There was a hint of spice and sweet notes that gave this tea a false pleasurable aroma. It was so very bitter to the taste.
“Tastes like ass doesn’t it?” You look up to see the regular hair stylist that you wanted to hate.
“Honestly, it’s terrible.” You push the mug away.
“I’m Shane.” She holds her hand out to you.
“I know.” You smile. “I’m ______.”
“I know.” She giggles. “I’ve been jealous of you since I found out you were Chan’s best friend.”
“What?” You nearly choke. She, this beautiful dolled up goddess, was jealous of you?
“Seriously.” She took a seat across from you. “Chan is the hottest guy. I don’t know how you can’t melt when you’re around him.”
“He is pretty hot, but he’s seriously my best friend and I don’t know...” you immediately thought about your dream. You could nearly taste him, your dream was so vivid.
“You’ve never thought about it?” She questions.
“I mean..” you clear your throat.
“I knew it!” She laughs.
“You think you could put in a good word for me?”
“He hates being set up.” You laugh at the thought. “Like loathes it.” Shane’s big smile drops and she nods.
“Well thanks anyway?” She got up and left the coffee shop. You weren’t quite sure what that was about but you shrugged it off and gathered your stuff.
You had a few days to prepare for the guys to come home and you decided this place wasn’t where you should be spending you time. Jisung’s name was practically written all over this café.
There was nothing more comforting than your mini home studio. It didn’t have everything the company had of course, but it was nice and a lot of your best ideas came from here.
You took a seat and glanced at the couch thinking of the numerous make out sessions that took up half of your studio time the first month you started dating Jisung.
“Fuck!” You stood up and pushed your chair away. You decided to head to the kitchen and grab some ice cream. You plop down in your favorite spot and watch whatever pops up on TV. You’re going to have one hell of a time when they get home. Might as well mope while you have a chance, you thought.
Changbin dreamed about you on the flight home. His dream was so vivid and he was so happy he was bursting at the seems with joy. He was on a beautiful beach and all the guys were there, Chan and Jisung were right by his side and he heard Chan tell him to relax. Jisung’s hand fell to Changbin’s shoulder for reassurance.
“You know this is the right thing, man.” Jisung said.
“You got this, mate.” Chan affirmed. Changbin nodded at both of them. Taking a deep breath of refreshing sea air. He turned to see you walking towards him. Changbin was not an outwardly emotional man, but when he saw you, his bride, walking towards him he felt tears stinging his eyes.
________________________________________________
I hope you enjoyed!
Stay healthy stay golden. I will catch you on the next episode.
♥️.
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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years
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Nickname; Just Steph, really. Oh, and “Sis” by my family. How many piercings do you have, and where? 2: 1 in each earlobe. What color are your eyes? Brown. And hair? Naturally dark brown, but I dye it red. Does orange look good on you? Can you pull it off? I don’t think any color looks good on me, but anyway I do have a couple orange shirts.
What do you do when it storms and the power’s out all night? That’s never happened, but I imagine I would just read on my phone or listen to Spotify until I fell asleep. What do you do with yourself when you’re at the beach? My mom, brother, and I like to go and just relax and chill. We don’t even really talk a whole lot, we just kinda zone out. She and my brother usually are lying down with headphones in or taking a nap while tanning, and I just get lost watching the ocean crash in and out and listening to the sound it makes. I just soak it all in. I love it. Are you shy, or no? Very. Have you ever been to St. Augustine? Nope. Have you ever been to Ocala? Nope. Have you ever just been to Florida? Nope. What about Indiana? Nope. Are you nosey? I mean, sometimes I want the “tea” as the kids say about certain things lol. I’ll see a vague status or tweet or something and want to know what it’s in reference to. I’m more nosey when it comes to celebrity gossip stuff, though. Do you “pry”? Well, like with my family I might ask about something in a general way and see what they offer up themselves. If I can tell they don’t want to talk about something then I don’t push it. If it’s someone I don’t know well then no, I don’t ask about it. I am guilty of trying to piece it together myself based on other tweets/statuses when possible, though... :x Why does everyone hate Justin Bieber so much? He did some stupid, douchey things in the past, but it seems he’s grown up now and living the married life. What’s your favorite commercial? I don’t care much for commercials. Do you find me annoying, yet? No. Who has the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen? Alexander Skarsgard. I’m also quite envious of Paris Jackson’s eyes.  When’s the last time you pulled an all-nighter? I don’t recall. I don’t think I have at all this year thus far. They used to be pretty common for me, but now I can barely stay up until like 2.  What were you doing? During my all nighters? Just watching TV and on Tumblr and/or doing surveys, mostly. Sometimes I played The Sims or colored. Purple on guys; Yes, or no? I don’t care. Do you like Boys Like Girls? I was really into them at one point. Hero/Heroine was my favorite of theirs.  Do you actually try everything on before you buy it? I never do that. I rarely have an issue with something not fitting right anyway. Do you ever actually check the price? Always. I’m not rollin’ in the deep where I can just spend willy nilly.  What’s your favorite candle scent? I really love autumnal scented ones like Bath & Body Works has. Have you ever known anyone with a dog blind in one eye? My dog, Brandie, became blind during the last 3 years of her life due to diabetes.  You do, now. Sortof. Ah. Have you ever been friends with a forgein exchanged student? I don’t think I knew any. Was it sad when they went back to… wherever they came from? Have you ever been given any sort of ring? Yes, as gifts from my parents. The last one I received was a college class ring.  Do you know anyone that works at a tattoo shop? Nope. If you HAD to get a tattoo, what would it be, and where? I’ve wanted ‘free bird’ tattooed on my inner wrist for several years.  Do you own any lockets or charm bracelets? Yeah. The last dress you were in; What’d it look like? It’s white and teal. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? I never got into it. What’s your favorite nickname of yours? Like I said, I only have 2. What’s one of yours that you HATE? I don’t hate any of them. Maple or hazelnut flavoring? I like both. What’s your favorite Coke product? Coke. What’s the brand of your cell-phone, and the color? A coral Apple iPhone XR. What’s your favorite body-part on the opposite sex? I find that hands can be pretty attractive.  Are you now, or have you ever been, a cheerleader? Nope. Have you heard any of Eminem’s new Recovery songs? They’re not new now, but yeah. Favorite song lyrics; In general? I have too many. Watergun or water-balloon war? Water gun, I guess. I never enjoyed being hit with a water balloon. Have you ever watched Ugly Betty? I think I saw bits here and there. Would running into your ex right now be painful? It’d just be painfully awkward.  What’s the most annoying sound, ever? * Anything loud and beeping and repetitive. I also get rlly aggravated when the television is turned up too loud <<< Same! And eating sounds, like smacking, sucking, slurping.... aljfklsflsdfljks Are you typo-proned? No, but it happens sometimes. How do you feel about Lady GaGa? I like some of her songs. Are the rumors about her true? What rumors? Are you friends with any “trolls”? No. What would you get a boyfriend for his 17th birthday? I’m 30 years old, I wouldn’t be dating a 17 year old or have any idea what to suggest as a gift for one for someone else. Does your hair have a mind of it’s own? It does seem that way. It’s very annoying. Is Dane Cook really all that funny? I don’t think he is. I’m not that familiar with his comedy. Do you watch Glee? Nope. Do you ever shop at Fredflare.com? Nope. I’ve never even heard of it. Do you happen to know anyone named Matty? (Matthew or Matt will suffice) No. What’s he like? Are you always hyper? I’m never hyper. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? Not severely, but I kind of am, which sucks because I have to use them. Do you like country music? Yeah, some. Y'know. Like, “my mule left me for my sheepdog”; that sorta thing Har har. Do you know any scenesters?!?? Is that still a thing? I wouldn’t know, I’m old and out of the loop. Has any guy ever forgotten your name so often and exclusively that he just started calling you “girl”? Wow, no. Did you have to have braces for awhile, too? :[ Yes, but not for my teeth. Kisses on your cheek, or forehead? I think forehead kisses are cute if they’re from a guy I’m interested in. When’s the last time you wore facepaint? What’d it look like? I don’t recall. Do you still have a teddy-bear lying around somewhere? Not a teddy bear, but several giraffe stuffed animals all around my room. Are you a good-speller? I think so. Do you over-analyze everything, like me? Yeppp. Have you ever rode on the back of a moped? No. Do like Frank Sinatra? I like a couple of his songs. What about Cap'n Jazz? I’m not familiar with them. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? Nope. What’s the brand of the computer or laptop that you’re on? Apple. Are you sitting on your bed? Or a spinny chair?? I’m on my bed. Anyone you can’t get off your mind? No. Have a “bone to pick” with anyone? Nah. What does love feel like? Warm and fuzzy. haha. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don’t have one. I’m not a big Beatles fan. Like, I like some of their songs, but eh. Does it annoy the hell out of you when people smoke around you? Ugh, yes. Do you like guys with long-ish hair? I personally like short hair on guys. How do you talk when you’re drunk? I usually became quite chatty. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? Yeah. I don’t really remember how the conversation went, that was several years ago now. What do you order at Starbucks? Usually a venti white chocolate mocha with soy, sometimes a caramel macchiato with soy. During the fall and winter I like to get some of the seasonal drinks. Except for pumpkin spice. I know, I know. Shocking, right? Penn Station or Subway? I’ve never been to Penn Station, so I’ll go with Subway. People with addictions are weak. Brutal truth, or “falsies”? I wouldn’t say that at all. Do you have a “gunkle”, like me? [: No. The underwear you’re wearing right now; Describe it. They’re blue. When’s the last time you were on a swing? Not since I was a kid sometime. Whose hand did you last squeeze? My doggo’s. Have you ever actually tied string around a finger? Yes. Wouldn’t that be difficult? It wasn’t that hard. Have you ever been in a cornfield with a boylyfriend? (: “Boylyfriend”... And no. Does baby talk annoy you? No. What’s the last thing you wrote (or drew) on yourself? *shrug* That would have been a long time ago. Can you walk straight in heels? I can’t do that at all. Do you like Eskimo kisses? Sure. When’s the last time you sat (or did anything, I guess) on a rooftop? Never. I’d be way too scared to ever do that. Have you ever heard anyone call kissing “swappin’ spit”? Yeah. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? No boyfriend. If I had one, they’d have to bend down to kiss me. Or, have you had to before? Think about your ex. Just do it. How do you feel? I don’t really feel anything regarding them. When’s the last time you lied in bed with the opposite sex. Who was it? I’ve never done that, actually. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? (: Yeah. Have you ever been tackle-hugged into a pool with all your clothes on? Omg, no. That would be very shitty thing to do since I can’t swim and I’m in a wheelchair. Do you own any heart-shaped glasses? Nope. Do you have any photographs on your walls? Yes. Do you own an Ugly Doll? [: No. I’ve never heard of those... Do you overuse :)s, like me? Nah. I don’t go emoji crazy. Do you overuse the word “like”, or “amazing”? Probably “like.” Do you have any crowns? No. Brunette dudes with bleach blonde hair are utterly unattractive. Yes? They can be. Is there anyone that you “see yourself in”, so to speak? No. What’d you last use scissors for? I don’t remember. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Yes. How well’d that go over with him? (Or her, I’m not judging) They just kept asking for one. Are you really over him, or are you just a great liar? I’m over any guy I’ve had feelings for the past. Whose grave did you last visit? My family members who have passed away have been cremated.  Do you have any polaroids? (pictures) Yeah, several. How many photo-albums do you have? A few. Do you scrapbook? Yes. Have you ever made a PostSecret book? Nope. Have you ever seen The Upside Down Show? No. Is it something children should really watch? I don’t know what it is. What about The Wiggles? I’ve seen parts of it before when my brother was little and yeah I recall it being fine for kids to watch. 
“Fruit salad, yummy, yummy.” Name a song that gives you goosebumps. Hmm. Is it wrong to call things “gay”? I think it’s insulting. What’s the most terrifying thing you’ve ever been through? Almost dying. Is there really such thing as a “chemical imbalance”? Uh, yes. Is love really just a chemical reaction? Sure.
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ulrichfoester · 5 years
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Making a Long Distance Relationship Work, Sam and Monica Style
How do you make a long distance relationship work?  This is one of the questions I’ve been asked the most by couples all over the world.  My short answer is focused intention, effort, prioritizing each other, frustration tolerance and creativity.
Meet Sam and Monica.
This young couple in their early twenties met through a friend in a whirlwind three years ago.  He is British and she American.  Let’s just say they met via text through a friend, she flew across the pond to meet him shortly after, they spent a few weeks together in the South of France, then he asked her to be his girlfriend and she said, “Yes.”  Did I say “whirlwind?”  The rest is the tale of an international love affair meticulously documented for their combined 300,ooo social media followers who are clearly enamored with this likable duo with sharp wits and obvious savvy.
Sam and Monica spend about half the year apart in approximately 2 month stretches, flying back and forth with a lot of travel adventuring in between.  Sam is a go-better on steroids running two businesses in the UK, in addition to the social media management company he and Monica run together.  The plan is for him to move to Florida in at about 5 years, as they agree they are not ready for marriage and he’d need to tie up business ends on his end as well as sort out a visa before that could happen anyway.
I’m not gonna like, this couple is almost too cute to believe.  I spent some time studying them (which is not hard to via their relationship channel on YouTube as well as their individual social media accounts like Twitter where whoever is interested can either engage with them or be a voyeur).  I am fascinated not only by the brilliance in their use of the this media (as 20-somethings are known to be) but the inspirational content for other couples in long distance relationships.  And they have an army of relationship cheerleaders and supporters who are clearly behind Sam and Monica.
True, many in a long distance relationship are likely not afforded the luxury of the frequent travel of these two, but Sam and Monica definitely have something special and wisdom to impart to couples of any age.  Their humor seeps through in a really delightful way which makes them particularly relatable and enjoyable.
I interviewed Sam and Monica via e-mail and here is what they had to say:
What do you love the most about each other?
Sam:  The thing I love most about Monica is how selfless, genuine and kind she is. She’s one of the very few people I’ve ever met that genuinely cares more about her loved ones more than herself and puts their happiness ahead of her own. 
Monica:  What I love most about Sam is how ambitious and motivating he is. Because of him, I feel more accomplished and much more motivated to work harder. He is incredibly smart – it’s kinda ridiculous! On top of that, he is by far the funniest person I have ever met! Every single day, he makes me cry laughing with his silly jokes.
What are some of the ways you stay connected?
Sam:  Trust is the most important. We’ve got to trust each other and have confidence in the relationship. We both talk every day via Skype and have ‘online dates’ – I.e. watching movies at the same time while on Skype, cooking the same meals and eating dinner/lunch together, playing online games etc. 
Monica:  A few of the ways we stay connected is by obviously video chatting a few times a day, having online dates, sending each other secret gifts in the mail and even leaving things for each other when we go home for the other person to end up finding.
What has been the hardest about having a long distance relationship?
Sam:  The visa situation – we want to live together and start a real life together but can’t as it’s quite literally illegal to live together either in the UK or USA until we get a visa sorted. But, visas are thousands of dollars and we don’t qualify for any visas at the moment. 
Monica:  The hardest part of having a LDR is definitely the time difference. Being 5 hours apart, is super hard because when I’m having lunch, he’s ready to go to bed. When I’m having dinner, he’s already been asleep. So I live half my day without him and the other half is just FaceTime that cuts out.  
Has jealousy ever come up for either of you and how do you handle it? 
Sam:  I used to be a full-time male model and she regularly got jealous. There was one time when I was on an Italian island shooting with a few girls and Monica really wasn’t happy with one of the images which looked like I was kissing one of the girls (I wasn’t – it was purposely shot to look like that). I’ve never been the jealous type so never had any problems on my end. 
Monica:  Jealousy has come up before. He used to model and constantly be around beautiful girls, and as someone who is insecure with themselves, it makes me feel uneasy. I would just feel as if he was going to find someone better. But now, I’m comfortable with myself and so happy in our relationship, so it doesn’t bother me anymore. At the beginning, it was tough! 
Are either one of you more physically tactile than the other or a cuddler?  How do you deal with lack of physical contact and sleeping alone if these things are really important?
Sam:  Monica definitely needs more physical proof of love than I do – she’s much more emotional, too. We both love cuddling but there comes a point when I have to work and she just wants to laze around and cuddle all day!! I don’t have too much trouble sleeping alone – what bothers me most is feeling bad for Monica as she hates it. 
Monica:  Thankfully we’re both huge cuddlers…haha… but I’d say I definitely want to do it more – it’s kind of hard not too when you’re next to someone so beautiful…haha. When I have to sleep without him, it’s so hard. It’s embarrassing to say, but I have to sleep with my lights on and have a video playing in the background. It never gets easier. 
How do you deal with challenging emotions that come up related to being so far away for much of the time?
Sam:  I’m not a very emotional guy (which Monica sometimes hates as I can’t really relate to her) so the distance doesn’t bother me as much as Monica. I can redirect my emotions into being productive much easier than Monica can so do just that – whenever I’m not with Monica, I channel my emotions into work and get as much done as possible before I next see her so we can spend as much time together as possible when we’re next together. 
Monica:  There’s so many challenging emotions and as someone who is overly emotional, it’s super hard. I try to keep myself as busy as possible so I don’t have to mope around thinking about how empty I feel. That’s one of my biggest points of advice – just keep yourself busy and be productive!
Have you had moments where you’ve wondered if it would work?  How do you get through those times?
Sam:  At the start of the relationship, we had to have all the awkward conversations and move a lot faster than regular couples to try and get a good idea of whether it’ll work or not as we knew from the start it was going to be a very expensive relationship so we wanted to make sure we had a good chance of working out. We rarely argue or doubt things now but, when we do, we always talk them out (well, I do, anyway. Monica sits there quietly until I figure out something is wrong and then it takes me 25 minutes to get it out of her!!). 
Monica:  At the beginning of the relationship, it was definitely kind of like “is this gonna work?” Because we were young and we didn’t have our business yet so I was working at a restaurant and didn’t think I’d be able to travel back and forth. Thankfully, we know both work online and earn comfortable money so I don’t get those thoughts. We got through it because of our business! It gives us so much freedom and obviously helps us to afford the relationship!
What do your families think about your relationship and business together?
Sam:  At the start of our relationship our families were less supportive than they are now simply because they didn’t understand how we could spend so much money and time on someone we barely knew. As soon as they realized it wasn’t just ‘puppy love’, though, they started supporting us more and more. At this point, both families are pretty much begging us to get married! 
Monica:  My family is so supportive towards our relationship! They always have been! Sams family is very supportive as well. We’re super lucky to have parents who accept our crazy relationship… haha. They’re very proud of what we’ve accomplished between our businesses.
Does the other have an annoying habit?
Sam:  Her most annoying habit is waking up at around 11am every day. In a way it’s good as I get a few hours of work done before she wakes up but still frustrating at times! 
Monica:  He’s probably going to say my most annoying habit is that I like to sleep in late…haha, so I’m going to say his annoying habit is that he gets up way too early! Even when he goes to bed super late, he always gets up around 6am!! It’s a good and bad thing, but sometimes it gets annoying being woken up super early!
Can you give me one nugget of advice for other long distance couples around how to stay connected when apart?
Monica (and Sam agreed):  One important thing of advice on staying connected is, spice up the relationship! Have an online date, surprise your partner with a letter in the mail, just little things – they go a long way. Make sure to stay in contact everyday but don’t talk 24/7 or else there won’t be anything to catch-up on!
You can follow the long distance relationship adventures of Sam and Monica on their YouTube Channel, www.YouTube.com/SamAndMonica or their Twitter accounts @iSamPatterson and @MonicaGartner.
Making a Long Distance Relationship Work, Sam and Monica Style published first on https://familycookwareshop.tumblr.com/
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