sometimes, I think about the fact that Haruka has NOTHING in his real life. His father is clearly out of the picture, his mother is... you know, his classmates probably ignore (or bully) him IF he is in school currently which is a big if, and if Mirai is a real person (I'm one of the "Mirai is Haruka/a symbolism of a part of himself" truthers... I have more than one theory about his murder ok), she appeared to be the only person in Haruka's life whom he had a good relationship with... but she's dead. At his own hands' doing. And that makes me think about how that probably makes Haruka feel 10x more remorseful for his murder; he didn't kill someone of the many people in his life who treated him like trash, he killed the only person who cared about him, the only person he really had. To make matters worse in AKAA Haruka is shown to be having kinda a whole mental breakdown, I believe that the murder was an impulse decision when he wasn't in his right mind, at that time. So I can't help but imagine, when he comes back to his senses and calms down, and sees Mirai's dead body, realizing that not only is she gone but his hands will also forever be stained with her blood... sorry, I'm having a lot of thoughts about their relationship in the case that Mirai is a real person....
Mirai aside, this also makes me wonder what will happen at the end of milgram. Will Haruka just, go back to his shitty mom and awful life? It made me reconsider whether I want him to be inno in T3 or not (currently I still do plan on voting him inno) because if the outcome of being inno is returning to the outside world with absolutely zero changes made I absolutely don't want that... You could think about this for other prisoners too. If Mikoto went back to his regular life, he'll start killing himself working again. If Amane went back to her regular life, she'll probably get punished and we know how inhumanely cruel her cult is when it comes to punishments (a fucking taser... on a child...) I'm just going to keep thinking about my half-joke AU where the prisoners live together as a found family after kidnapping Haruka and Amane from their households
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I've only now noticed Eva Yan's scars on your drawings of her, is there any story or headcanon behind them?
keeping it real babygirl [gender neutral] the story is that this woman canonically kills herself, canonically contemplates suicide, quite explicitly mentioning the method she intents on using to you (with implications that she has, at the very least, thought about it/thought it through before), and lives with broken mirrors so she cannot (/doesn't have to) see her face like i just think She Is Mentally Unwell. like as a long-term, enduring, persistent thing, She Is Mentally Unwell and the plague is just worsening her condition, while it didn't cause it. the storey/headcanon is that she is mentally ill, openly and canonically has self-destructive tendencies, so. the scars are here because she lives with a lil something something in her mind which drives her to plenty of destructive acts in ways big and small. ywkim
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man i forgot how… kind the language in this book is. even though its a sad read with a lot of really tragic and difficult scenes, the prose in this book feels kind of like a mother’s hug comforting her crying child.
this comes immediately after such a sobering opening- nothing dramatic, just a pregnant cat that has been walking in a rainstorm after being abandoned by her owners and establishing that she’s not just helpless- she’s horribly alone. and when she finds shelter, the trees “watch over her”- a description that could have been sinister in another book, but here, it’s to show that Calico won’t always be alone- that nature itself cares about her. it’s so sweet
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