#and im afraid of it feeling weird between us bc of that
Text
Used (LN4)
Summary: A bet can do more harm than good.
Warnings: i dont think ive ever wrote something this angsty, its very sad so be warned, lando is a back stabbing bitch but hes stupidly in love, literally stupidly, insecurities, loss of virginity, major betrayal, sad ending but there will be a part 2 bc as we all know i cant do sad endings
Note: im very sorry for this one
Word count: somewhere in the 4k’s
When Oscar got into F1, Y/n promised herself she wouldn’t follow her brother around the paddock like a lost puppy. With cameras all around and prying eyes, she wanted to come across as independent and strong rather than pathetic and small. For a while, that translated, but it got lonely after a few months. Missing her brother as he was busy doing interviews or creating connections, and losing her parents in the mass of people, she always found herself alone. That was until Lando fully came into the picture. He hadn’t wanted to overstep boundaries with his teammate by befriending his sister, but the boy couldn’t resist when he continued to catch glimpses of her struggle to fit in. She was too young to hang out with any of the racers’ girlfriends, yet too old to hang out with the children of powerful people. She was only 19, still figuring out what life was, why she was here, and what she was meant to do. So, overcoming his own anxieties, Lando approached the girl on a rainy Sunday when the race had been postponed because of the wet weather.
“Can I sit here?” He had said, smiling lightly at her as her head slowly moved up to make eye contact with the popular driver.
She had moved over on the bench, nodding quickly as if she was afraid any time in which he had to wait would set him off.
At first, things were awkward with Lando not knowing anything about her and Y/n being too shy to form any words in front of the boy she thought was cute. Nonetheless, after 20 minutes, words were spoken, and conversing became second nature.
Gradually, Lando felt Y/n warm up to him as she realized the driver was someone she found solace in.
Her first friend in Formula One.
Everyone in the paddock began to take note of the budding friendship quickly evolving between the sister and the driver. While people were happy to see a new connection growing, Oscar was weary. It was no secret Lando had a track record of sleeping around, pretending to be close to women for only one night in order to get what he wanted. The women in question always understood the pattern and never found offense or distaste with it, but Y/n wasn’t that mature, Oscar knew. His sister was still naive and her lack of attention toward media outlets played into her lack of luck as she didn’t realize Lando could be around for all the wrong reasons. Oscar did, though, and he made it incredibly clear to the British boy that any impure advances on his sister were not, and never would be, welcomed.
“You pull any weird shit and I’ll have your head.” He said sternly to Lando in a tone that no one had ever heard come out of the Australian before.
“I’m not going to, Oscar. I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but we’ve realized we just have so much in common. There’s nothing else behind it, I promise. I just like your sister’s company. That’s it.” He reassured.
And, for a while, that was true. Lando saw nothing else behind their friendship, however, that soon began to change. He noted the way he became so comfortable being touchy with her or giving her impromptu compliments about how pretty she looked that day. Being experienced in that realm of life, Lando also noted the way her cheeks blushed ever so slightly under his eye, and he couldn’t ignore the way his insides twisted at her subtle happiness over him.
They danced around each other and their feelings for some time until a drunken night changed everything. Lando had invited his friends from DJing over, one of those people being Martin Garrix. The men had laid themselves out on Lando’s luxurious couch with beers in hand, chugging away as they gossiped like 13-year-old girls.
The conversation came easily with these people as Martin interrupted and changed the topic to something a bit more interesting, “Lando, I gotta ask. What’s going on with you and Oscar’s sister?”
At this point in their relationship, Lando was still in the stage of denying any deeper feelings for her, “Nothing? What do you mean?”
Martin shook his head as the boys around him knowingly eyed each other, “Come on, you two are definitely sleeping together.”
“No, we aren’t.” He said immediately, not understanding why he had become so invested in protecting Y/n’s image.
Martin’s eyebrows furrowed, “So, you two aren’t sneaking around behind the brother’s back?”
“No,” Lando said firmly, but his defiance on the subject proved to worsen his situation as Martin set his beer down and looked at him with a mischievous look.
“Then, I have a proposition for you.” His arms rested on his knees as he leaned forward.
“What?” Lando mirrored his stance.
“Obviously, you know I have that really big gig next year at The Cabin in New York.” Lando nodded, “Well, if you can get Y/n to fall in love with you, maybe even sleep with her, I don’t know, then you can play it. Play the set at The Cabin.” Martin’s idea made Lando’s eyes bulge out of his head and his body leap from the couch.
The alcohol in his system proved to do its job by impairing his judgment as he didn’t ask questions or try to understand why Martin would get off on playing with someone in that way. All the boy did was scream his agreeance and then excitement for playing at The Cabin in New York.
“YOU ASKED MY SISTER OUT!?” Oscar had screamed in fury at Lando 2 days later.
Putting his hands up, Lando tried to talk down an aggravated teammate, “Listen, Oscar. Listen,” He pleaded, “I didn’t see it coming, really. But, I…” The words felt sour in his mouth as the guilt for what he was about to embark on set in, “I didn’t expect to fall for her, okay? I just did and I hope you’ll trust me enough that I’m not going to play her like I do the others. I wouldn’t hurt you like that and I especially wouldn’t hurt her like that.”
His words seemed to calm the blonde boy as he looked Lando in the eye, trying to decipher if he was being truthful. And, even though he wasn’t, Oscar found Lando’s spewed sentences to be genuine.
“Fine, but, I’m serious, Lando,” Oscar shoved a finger into Lando’s chest, “if you pull anything, I won’t hesitate to find crazy dirt on you and blackmail McLaren into firing you. Trust me, I’m smart enough to ruin your whole career.”
His threats went in Lando’s right ear and out the other because he found his British accent flooding the room they stood in as he said, “I promise, nothing will happen.”
—
“Is there any specific you want for tonight, my love?” Lando whispered against her skin as they lay in his bed, tangled together after a busy morning of meetings and conversations discussing their announcement of their relationship to the public with McLaren’s PR teams.
She breathed against the crook of his neck as she toyed with his shirt, “No, just excited to go out with you.”
He chuckled as he breathed the scent of her shampoo in, “Me too, baby.”
After nearly 3 months, the couple had fallen easily into the norms of a romantic relationship. Having not yet slept together or fully opened up and shown the other dark parts of themselves, they had a long way to go, but, at that moment, the two were content.
Content with having casual dates, hidden under baseball caps and sunglasses to keep from someone seeing them and outing their newfound connection. Content with the star gazing they had scheduled a few weeks back for that night, fulfilling something Y/n had mentioned she wanted to try.
They found themselves lost in the sky, weeds surrounding them as they lay side by side on a thin blanket to separate them from the rough grass beneath. In a quiet moment with Y/n’s fingers pointing out constellations to him, Lando sunk into himself.
His past few months with her had proven to be a lot more interesting than he had expected. Pretending to be in love with her started to feel less like a forced feeling and more like something he had been destined to feel for her and her only his whole life. The guilt ate away at him, but the love that was slowly consuming him for her trumped it every time.
“Lan? You still here?” Her sweet voice cut through his thoughts, making his head turn to meet her eyes.
He smiled at her, “Yeah, sorry, just lost track of my thoughts, I think.”
Her hand trailed up and down his stomach, “You okay?”
“Mhm, just don’t want to leave.” He nodded, looking at her so she could understand that he didn’t just want to leave this moment, he didn’t want to leave her.
She cracked a small smile, “Oh, me neither.”
A beat of silence went by before she sat up and turned to look down at him, “When did you realize you wanted more than just a friendship between us?”
This question was something he was anticipating and absolutely dreaded because, if he were to tell the truth, he would have to tell her she was a bet with his friends and that was the only reason he had been pushed to confront his underlying feelings for her. Although, wanting his gig, Lando tried to tell a white lie.
“I don’t really know when it happened. I just know that one day I really liked talking with you and the next I just liked you.” Simple and sweet, he thought. That was the trick to getting away with this.
Her blush complicated things and the butterflies in his stomach over her smile laid out the strong counterargument to his mind.
“Hm.” She said as she lowered herself back to the ground.
Lando’s curiosity took over as he asked what she meant by the ominous sound.
“Just that, I didn’t expect you to like me. I mean, you’re past is a lot of picture-perfect models and well-rounded, intellectual, impressive women. Not a 19-year-old kid whose major is undecided as she enters into her second year of college.” Her words struck a deep cord within his chest that he couldn’t not play.
“Is that all you think you are?” He was complicating the situation further, he understood that, but to think Y/n didn’t understand how amazing she was was something he couldn’t ignore.
She shrugged her shoulders, “Well, Lan, what else would I be?”
He was internally shocked at her obliviousness to her own perfection, “‘What else would I be?’ Y/n, what? You’re not just some lost college kid. You’re Oscar’s best friend and the person I would call first no matter what the situation. You’re so much to everyone around you. How can you not see that?”
Her voice came out trembly as she stared at the stars, “It’s hard when your brother’s constantly outshined you your whole life. My parents never realized they had another kid when I was growing up. It was all about Oscar and his races, his success. I never lived up to anything to actually make them notice me.”
His heart broke for the hurt little girl she was clearly entrusting him with, “Y/n, look at me.” His hands wrapped around her jaw to turn her head to the side, their eyes meeting in an intense stare, “Oscar could never outshine you and the fact that you’ve gone your whole life thinking anyone, let alone your brother, has the ability to take other’s attention from you is preposterous. You are the first thing that catches people’s eye when they walk into a room. You’re intoxicating with the way you carry yourself. You’re not just a confused child, you’re you. You are your best friend’s safe space, Oscar’s go-to person to brag about, you’re my favorite person, and, even though you might not think so, your parent’s pride and joy. You’re so many things, darling. Just because you aren’t an F1 driver doesn’t mean you don’t mean something. If it means anything, to me, you mean everything.”
His forehead rested against hers as he whispered the words to her, her eyes closed against his skin as she took in what she had longed to hear since she was 7. Lando’s thumbs rested against her cheeks, collecting the soft tears as they fell from her eyes.
“Sorry,” She whispered as she tried to back away from his hold, apologizing for the wetness that was pooling around his fingers.
However, Lando was quick to pull her back in, “No, don’t apologize. Letting me in isn’t something I’m afraid of, Y/n. It’s something I’m grateful to experience.”
She nodded, at a loss for words as she reveled in his gentleness. His hold on her tightened as he pushed her against his chest, whispering words into her ear.
Words that spoke truths he believed deep within himself and words that complexified the bet he had made.
—
“So, tell us what’s going on with you and the hotshot driver!” Y/n’s best friend, Paige, exclaimed at breakfast weeks after Lando and she had gone public.
Y/n rolled her eyes playfully, “Nothing! We’re just together. It’s not that serious.”
Paige reeled back in her seat, sending her a questionable look, “Really? ‘Not that serious’? Are you kidding me? He took your virginity!”
“Shh!!! Shh!!” Y/n jabbed a finger in her friend's face in response to the loud volume accompanied by the exposition of her situation.
“Sorry!” Paige squeaked, looking around to make sure no one had heard her, thankfully no one had. She continued, “Does he know?”
“That it was my first time? Yeah.” Y/n informed as Paige smiled triumphantly at the girl across from her.
“So, was he sweet? Did you like it?” Paige fired off the questions.
Y/n blushed, being taken back to the night before where Lando had assured her he would be gentle.
He had.
“Yes, he was very sweet. We got back from the date and decided to watch a movie. During it, we started kissing and then, you know, one thing led to another, and…”
“You told him.” Paige finished her sentence.
Y/n waved her head slowly to the left and right, “Well, it started getting intense, so I just let him know. I tried to be pretty nonchalant about it, come off like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but the moment he heard it, he was telling me how much he cared about it.”
Paige’s eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean?”
“He just wanted to talk about it, wanted to make sure I wasn’t rushing into anything and that I actually wanted to do this with him. He told me how he didn’t want to screw anything up and how he really wanted it to go well for me, so if I needed him to change anything, I could just let him know. He was really big on communication through the whole thing and, honestly, it made things so much easier. And, then, after we were done, I got up to leave, but he acted like I had just said he wouldn’t ever win a world championship, and then insisted on me staying. Paige, he was so perfect.”
The two girls giggled together as they dug into their food, “So, you’ve let him in completely then?”
Y/n giggled, not having a clue of what was to come, “After he saw me completely naked and I told him about my deepest insecurities? Yeah, I have. I just hope this doesn’t backfire in my face.”
—
Lando was Y/n’s first love. There was no doubt about that. So, surprising him at the Silverstone Grand Prix sounded like a good idea. However, as she and Oscar stood outside his Driver’s Room door, accidentally eavesdropping on his conversation with Martin, the world proved to her that being there entirely was a horrible idea.
“Mate, I think it's gone too far. I want to back out of the bet.” Lando’s muffled voice sounded through the wall as Oscar and Y/n glanced at each other, matching confusion on their faces.
“No way, Lando. We made a deal. I don’t want to do this gig, I’ve done it so many times before it’s boring now, but for someone like you who has never done it, it’ll be fun.” Martin pleaded.
Y/n could practically hear Lando shake his head, “No, Martin. We should’ve never made it in the first place. I don’t want to play at The Cabin. Dating her for a bet is so cruel. I should’ve stopped it so long ago. I should’ve told you ‘no’ immediately.”
She didn’t even really comprehend what his words meant for a few minutes. She just stood there, eyes fixed on the door, trying desperately to figure out a way to explain away what he had just revealed.
Oscar’s hand gripped her arm as he watched her realize Lando’s true intent. His lip trembled, trying to keep the tears at bay, as his little sister broke in front of him. Her mouth opened and closed before her eyes watered and her gaze was shooting around the hallway in an attempt to find her brother. The fact that he was right in front of her didn’t translate in her brain, which had been in immediate turmoil once it dawned on her.
“Y/n, I’m right here.” He repeated to her as he slowly coaxed her into his embrace. Blind rage threatened to fill Oscar’s body, wanting nothing more than to storm into Lando’s room and rip him to shreds, but, as his sister quietly sobbed in his arms, he knew she needed him more than his fist needed to collide with Lando’s face.
Fortunately, his room wasn’t too far, so they weren’t seen by anyone as they made their way. The tears never ceased, only intensifying once they found themselves tucked away in the privateness of his own four walls.
“I was a bet?” Her choked sobs fought to silence her, but she continued to repeat the words as if it could cause her confusion to be fixed.
She clutched onto her older brother as she willed herself to go back in time and never step foot in an F1 paddock. Her mind raced as it tried to erase their time together and the love she had for him, the love she still had for him.
—
Hours after crying so much the tears dried up, Y/n found herself numb as she poured steeped the tea bag into the steaming hot water. No longer caring if she ran into him, she stood in the middle of McLaren’s hospitality, still trying to understand when she went wrong.
When she started loving him in the way that she did now. Even after finding out it was fake, his love for her was fake, she can’t stop the way her heart still beats for him.
The way, even after he had hurt her as badly as he did, she still searched for him in the crowd.
Oscar was off doing an interview, something he begrudgingly went off as he wanted to sit with his sister longer, as she made her walk back to his resting room.
Her attention was on the warm temperature that surrounded her face when she sipped her drink, she didn’t see the man of the hour turn the corner nor did she see the way his gaze landed on her or the way he began running toward her, confused as to why she was here.
“Y/n? Love, what are you doing here? I thought you had a test you couldn’t skip?” His voice forced feelings into her body whether she liked it or not. However, this time instead of feeling suffocating sadness, she felt pure, bewildered rage.
Turning around, she met his eyes, “What set do you think you’ll play at The Cabin?”
Lando’s eyebrows furrowed together at her question as well as the look on her face he wasn’t accustomed to.
“What?” He asked simply, not believing she could know.
She took a step closer to him, letting the betrayal take control, “When you play in New York at The Cabin, Lan,” Her smile was sickly and incredibly fake, “What are you going to play? I was thinking that one remix you have that you said makes the crowd go wild. I mean, it has to be big seeing as you went through so much trouble to get the spot. Ya know, dating me for a bet and all.” She took his silence and blank stare as an invitation to keep going, “Inspiring, really, Lando. The amount of dedication you must have when it comes to being a DJ that you would exploit someone else’s vulnerability, allow them to tell you all the internalized bullshit they’ve struggled with their whole lives, and, then!” She exclaimed, her voice translating ferocity rather than joy, “And then!” She dryly laughed, “Take their virginity just to spice things up! Wow, Lando, you have a certain level of determinedness I think society doesn’t address enough.”
His hand reached out for hers, but she quickly pulled her own back to her chest, looking at him in disgust, “Y/n, let me explain.”
Not wanting to look at his face any longer, she turned around, hightailing it to Oscar’s as she heard Lando follow her.
“Y/n, I’m serious. Please, there’s an explanation. Listen to me, baby. Please, I’m begging you.” He pleaded with her as he continued to reach for her, but he was always just a little too late.
“Y/n, I never meant for it to go this far. I though-” He tried, but Y/n was whirling around and jabbing a finger into his chest as she interrupted him with a fiery gaze.
“You never meant for it to go this far? Really? That’s the best you can give me!? I was lonely and you took advantage of that! You didn’t mean for it to go this far? Are you kidding me? You should’ve never even looked in my direction. You’re sick in the head for knowingly taking my virginity! For taking what was supposed to be something special and eventful, something meaningful, and twisting it into some stepping stone all a part of your grand plan to gain a bigger audience for your hobby! That was mine. That moment, when I allowed a guy I trusted and loved to take something so sacred, was supposed to be something I looked fondly back on. That part of my life, my girlhood, you exploited for your own personal gain. Where the hell do you get off? I trusted you. I told you things about my life, about myself, I’ve never told anyone before, and, what? The whole time it was a bet to you? A task you had to complete in order to turn some tables at a club in a dirty city?”
He stared at her, trying to peer into her soul and tell her all the things he didn’t know how to say, but, with all the hurt he had presented her with, she didn’t see him. She didn’t see the anguish he was going through over his actions catching up with him and abusing someone who was completely innocent. She didn’t see how hard he was trying to tell her he loved her and he always had.
“Y/n, it was never that to me. Please, you have to understand. You’ve always been so much more to me. Y/n, I love you-” Once again, she was shutting him up.
“That’s not love, Lando, and it’s pathetic you think it is.”
With that, she stepped into her brother’s room, closed the door, and locked it. Effectively, shutting Lando out.
For good or for the time being, he didn’t know.
#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#mclaren#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagines#lando norris smut#lando norris x you#lando norris#lando norris fanfiction#lando norris edit#oscar piastri#oscar piastri fanfiction#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri imagines#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri fluff
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leaving a lil rant here :]
I love Tim and his ships sm. Me personally, I only really ship TimKon. Those two are perfect for eachother and have so much clear queer coding that it’s crazy, and they have dialogue that’s just. gay shaped.
I also get TimBart, I don’t ship it romantically but I get why people do!! Tim and Bart are close as well, and the balance they get between ‘depressed tired wet cat’ and ‘living breathing embodiment of adhd’ is great.
I also get TimBartKon, they’re a trio. They are always a trio, so many people like to bring up how TimKon has so much coding and one of the big examples they use is when Tim tried to clone Kon. You know who else he tried to clone? Bart.
The only Tim ship I don’t get is TimBern, or any ship involving those two. When Bernard first appears, he’s Tim’s bully. He actively makes fun of tim and puts him down and then that character is forgotten about until Tim comes out as bi, then they just rework his character and go “haha guys this is his boyfriend not bully ygs are crazy” and just forget about all the bad stuff Bernard did? Reworking a character is great and all but, it just feels a bit weird and out of place for me. There’s always going to be that certain toxicity for TimBern, at least for me.
homie... bully??? im flabbergasted- im speechless- im jason todd (dead)
okay, im gonna start off by saying you have all the right to not ship them, and im not here to defend timbern as a ship. im here to defend BERNARD DOWD.
first thing bernard does is give tim advice about teachers, and he clearly says they're gonna be good friends.
if bernard was a bully, tim wouldn't hang around him so much. besides, i hate it when people place tim as a helpless little boy who would get bullied. he has put himself in situations where he looks weak on purpose to keep his identity safe, but he's not a victim at all. tim is a social butterfly because he's really good at masking and reading people.
not to mention, both bernard and darla push tim a lot because they're trying to get him to open up and be closer to them, but he keeps pushing them away. tim is a professional liar.
and when tim has to quit robin and start hanging out with normal people, he invites bernard over.
and bernard is acting relatively normal, and he wants to play video games and talk about how hot tim's stepmom is.
bernard is a normal teenager who has no idea one of his friends is the hero he's so obsessed with. he even shows concern for robin dying and makes up an entire conspiracy theory about batman havin a robin orphanage. you can tell he's afraid of robin being gone for real because at this point they haven't seen robin in months bc tim retired.
i dont know what about all of these interactions gave you the vibe that he's a bully because all i see is a normal teenager teasing his friends and being jealous tim gets more bitches.
im not saying that bernard was never mean or weird around tim, but he definitely wasn't actively bullying tim.
bernard is obnoxious and cocky, yes. but thats just because they wrote him as a real person. he's the school's chameleon, maybe even a little bit of a loser, too. he knows everyone but keeps a safe distance so that he doesn't get pushed into a box. im not sure if, at this point, he was already in a cult or being indoctrinated, but when we see his parents and the dowd home in tim drake: robin that just doesn't look right.
also homie talk about "forgetting all the bad things bernard did" (which in my opinion is none but okay lets follow that logic) everyone forget about all the bad things batman did to tim, he was not a kind and loving mentor, he was cruel to both tim and steph. we forget that batman was kind of an asshole to damien in the beginning. all those things are forgotten for the sake of the batfam.
in conclusion: we're just so used to the idea that superheroes can only ever form strong friendship bonds by having near death experiences together that we forget that the secret identifies exist and that the people who know them by their legal name also means a lot to them. after all, these people are the reason why they're heroes.
#bernard dowd#timbern#tim drake#i could make a 2 hours long video essay on bernard dowd and how deep his character actually goes#but yall are not ready for that#ask#cosmic inbox
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Okay okay so i know i JUST sent that pervy hob creeping on waiter dream ask but i came up w more bc im not well.
Dream doesnt want anyone but his supervisor Lucienne to know hes Morpheus Endless bc hes 19 and everything is a catastrophic level of embarrassment at the age of 19 also hes afraid he might get picked on or hazed or something. Hes shy and most of the summer employees are his age but everyone is either nice or neutral but not mean. He gets invited to a few staff bonfires and kinda sits at the edge and keeps to himself bc hes never done this or been allowed to have friends before but its pleasant and sometimes someone will come over and make small talk to help him feel included. The Corinthian is a poolboy, he makes jokes about it constantly saying how hes trying to have as much gay sex as possible and being poolboy seemed the best bet. Hes charming and isnt weird about dream being sorta gender neutral/fluid and dream Likes him. The Corinthian saw hob slap dreams ass that first time and matthew told dream he had to physically hold the Corinthian back so he didn't go beat a guest up. Dream sits with the Corinthian on the dock and thanks him for his gallantry and the Corinthian is shy being alone w him all like "well,, i didnt do it for anything other than selfish reasons im hoping to get some nepo points when you go back home" and dream is all shook and worried now but the Corinthian laughs like "yeah you should've chose a different nickname if you didnt want to be associated with the god of SLEEP" but he doesn't tell anyone and even catches on to dreams vague rambling explanations of being Into hob which he only teases him a LITLLE for which is very generous in his opinion. Things get hot and heavy in both directions and its a proper YA summer romance love triangle. The Corinthian is kinda worried when dream texts him to come to hobs suite but hes kinda looking to get into it w this asshole anyway but when he shows up its hob who answers and dream is a blushy blissed out mess in the sheets and hob explains how dream was going to go to the Corinthian first and now hob wants to see what the Corinthian would have done to his darling now that his virginity is already taken now:) they have a really hot really psychosexual threesome and dream gets to take both of them in one night and go to bed pressed up between them❤️
-🔪
AHH yeah here's a link to the last resort au we talked about.
I always love the idea of Hob and Cori competing over Dream, and this is a really nice way for it happen. The love triangle is so tense and sexy.
Hob is still giving all his attention to Dream - flirting, touching, teasing him all day long. But there are moments when Dream actually has to do his job for half a moment instead of just being a toy for Hob to enjoy. When Dream is off folding towels or helping in the dining room, Hob takes the opportunity to pounce on Cori.
And Cori doesn't just accept it like Dream does. He calls Hob a dirty old man, threatens to report him, even holds the knife he was using to slice fruit to Hob’s throat at one point. Mostly its because he doesn't want to steal Dream’s man when he knows there's feelings there. But also, he's really enjoying the thrill of the chase.
So when he's invited to Hob’s suite, it's fair to say that the sexual tension is heavy. Cori pretends to be all focused on Dream (and he is!! Absolutely thrilled to get between Dream’s legs finally) but he's glancing at Hob the whole time, daring him to do something. Hob is only too happy to oblige.
Cori finally gets to fuck Dream (having Hob’s sloppy seconds is more of turn on than he'll ever admit). All while Hob tongue-fucks Cori's hole. Cori has never been rimmed like that before and he has to admit that Hob is talented. He barely lasts any time before coming inside Dream, but he can't even begin to care. This is the gay sex he was hoping for.
Cori is definitely getting those nepo points for making Dream cum. And don't tell anyone, but he totally sucked Hob’s dick. He had to do something to make sure that he's invited back for more!!
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Mm im a virgin and im nervous about my first time can u give me some tips
hmmmmmm ok ok ok ill try
first of all its normal to be shy/nervous but anyone who's worthy as a partner isnt gonna make u feel weird or bad about that. if they do they r not the one!
be safe 😑 similarly anyone who doesnt respect your wishes for things like... condoms, lube, or what u dont want to do, etc etc is not the one!!! never Ever not just for first times!!!! it is OK to not be comfortable with certain things!!!! i know this sounds like elementary advice but a lot of people think they know it, then freeze up in the actual situation :(
wear s/t that makes u feel cute and confident (doesnt have to be crazy lingerie just like. favorite pair of underwear ukno!) and i like to Always shower day of + wash downstairs like 5 mins before sex bc its (1) clean (2) less anxiety on my part
tbh dont build it up in ur head as something that HAS to be perfect and romantic or whatever....... maybe i'm just not a very romantic person (yes) but virginity is not a big deal imo? u wouldnt expect to be good at any hobby with your first attempt, your goal should just be to have fun. and its practice! u get better lol. like unless its the only time you're planning on having sex ever in your whole life it's ok if the planets didn't align or whatever, just learn what worked/what didnt and carry it with u for a better next time!
Have Fun!!!! even when i have someone tied up i love talking/teasing, laughing with them, etc etc... esp since i'm not very dominant and just top 4 friends, i try not to get frozen in my head about what i ~should~ be acting like. i'll go with what feels natural (it all comes easier than you'd think in the moment honestly) and try to channel a bit of what i know they like. but if ur sexy character breaks or whatever , its ok... have fun with it... just be urself fr... i know that sounds corny but its true!! just have fun and anyone who is worth it is gonna giggle along with u. sex is FUN its a connection with someone, an interaction between bodies, making e/o feel good, let it be natural.
dont be afraid to mention if something doesnt feel good? so many of my friends have told me like, "i didnt like when my parter did this / it turned me off or hurt" and i was appalled, like... tell them??? u can move someones hand elsewhere, u can Communicate. when im topping i like to ask 'is that ok? that feel good? can i touch u here?' etc. u can make it sexy by saying it teasingly, but it gives a real window for someone to say if its not.
this isnt possible for every situation but i think it is worth it to have your first experiences b with someone you trust. it doesn't have to be romantic but i think you're a lot more relaxed if you are comfortable with the person. a lot of my firsts were forced/not rly fun, my first Sex was while intoxicated w/ a guy i'd only known a few days + first kink experiences were also random rushed unsafe stuff. i dont exactly regret but i do feel weird about it sometimes and so i've only recently started to be ok with hooking up with people again. via doing so with FWBs i trust and it's been a vastly different experience!!! idk how to describe it, but like knowing we're good and that it's ok and safe and fun and that they're not judging body or whatever, it's given me more confidence in playing + communicating. i used to freeze up if anyone touched me and now im getting open enough to where im considering letting myself sub again, and ok with more physical contact. ofc not everyone has friends who are dtf but no matter who it is, being comfortable with them is everything!!
nothing should hurt or bleed and i'll die on that hill. with plenty of foreplay/arousal and lube and slowly working up a stretch (if ur being penetrated) it shouldn't hurt. example: i hadn't been penetrated with more than 2-3 fingers for months, when i got home recently i tried dildo and couldn't get it in, i just relaxed + worked up with a smaller toy + knew i could go for lube if i needed (i didnt bc i have a faucet pussy but it does make it easier) similarly with anal, u just gotta work up and relax
in line with #7..... theres nothing wrong with using lube. and foreplay IS essential bc when you get aroused your muscles will relax and you'll feel better and more receptive to every aspect of sex not just penetration. i also don't think there's anything wrong with using toys????? a straight girl im friends with said her boyf can't get her off and i told her to tell him to use a vibe and she was like "i don't think we're close enough for that" like girl what the fuck he's had his tongue in your vagina i think it's okay to use a toy 😭 people historically would have gone nuts for the availability of sex toys we have now fuckin shake it up and have some fun!! it's not weird!!!! god straight people and their sex hangups. anyway.
i hope that helps????? tbh i think a lot of these are aimed @ cishet men being awful in bed for the most part but! they can still apply to keep in mind! summary: dont let anyone make u feel weird or bad for wanting things / not wanting things and u should feel comfortable and good and dont be afraid to communicate what u like (give encouragement vocalize that u feel good!) + what ur not feeling (share if s/t hurts or if u want them to go faster/harder or move up a bit or whatever)! literally HAVE FUN AND BE YOURSELF
#sorry this got long i am passionate about sex ed and communication and consent#fr talk to ur partner!!!! the stories i hear bc (1) all my friends r comfortable talking about sex to me & (2) straight people r insane omf#ask
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no idea if ur still doing the top 5 thing and feel free to ignore this bc we haven't actually talked about four square like at all on our blogs asdlfjs but bc im genuinely curious - top 5 four square AU dynamic duos? 👀
:D
For those not in the know (which tbh is probably most everybody), the Foursquare AU is a thought experiment (and eventual fic? Someday) by me and Dr3 premised on… what if we DreamXD took JMAH!Dream and c!Dream, and forced them to sit in a box and ✨bond✨? Because, as we’ve established, they’d kinda hate each other.
But Kat, I hear you say, that’s only two people, and it’s called foursquare! An excellent point, which is why the Dreams receive sets of periodic visitors! So far, they’ve enjoyed the company of j!Techno and c!Techno, then j!Sam and c!Sam, then j!Quackity and c!Quackity, then combinations thereof… you get the picture.
Naturally some of these pairs are better disposed towards each other than others. This ranking was so hard because I LOVE THEM ALL, UGH. There is literally something fascinating about every duo.
Honorable Mention: c!Techno and j!Dream
j!Dream has spent ages without any sort of lighthearted company whatsoever. c!Techno is used to bringing a hostile and wounded Dream out of his shell. I’m soft about them; I’m soft about the ways in which the Technos, and c!Techno in particular due to his experience, are the only people here both willing and prepared to go to bat for either Dream. j!Dream is getting so damn invalidated by everyone and c!Techno stands up to that.
5. j!Sam and c!Quackity
This one kind of edges a lot into the c!Quackity and j!Dream dynamic, too, because it’s all about c!Quackity coming to terms with the idea of j!Sam as a calculated torturer. Not just an overseer of torture, not just someone violent—but someone who, for much longer than even c!Quackity had the patience and stomach for, tried to systematically destroy a man’s will using pain. c!Quackity is annoyed, and angry, and disturbed, and outraged by the hypocrisy (and he absolutely makes all of this the Dreams’ problem). And for j!Sam, c!Quackity is the specter of one of his greatest failures, someone he blames for the prison’s collapse and someone he holds up as a comforting standard to compare himself against: as long as he’s not c!Quackity, he’s not a torturer. It’s a delicious conflict.
4. c!Quackity and j!Quackity
COMEDY DUO! Everyone clap!! These guys are insta-bffsies, instant drinking buddies, and instantly make each other worse. They’re willing to egg each other on, they’re willing to encourage each other, and they’re ready to make everything into a game they’re both winning. They’re each other’s sympathetic audience, and they’re a reminder of their own humanity—not in a wholesome way, but in a grimy, laughing, down-to-earth way. They look at each other and they’re mildly afraid of what they see—and that’s a good thing, isn’t it? That’s a great fucking thing, isn’t it! Also they spend hours gossiping about whatever the fuck is UP with Sam and Dream, so fucking weird right? So they get instant rights for that.
3. c!Dream and j!Sam
j!Dream buckles under the awful weight of j!Sam’s conditioning, and c!Dream sees the horrifying, inescapable extension of what he—and Sam—could have become. Consequently, he resists as strenuously as possible, even—and especially—when the smart move would be to give in. For j!Sam, c!Dream is his white whale, the one that got away. Drawing the differences between the two Dreams makes it more clear than ever to j!Sam that c!Dream was never actually his, not truly… and even j!Dream escaped him too, didn’t he? So much of what j!Sam did and does to j!Dream is actually aimed at or in payment for what c!Dream did or is. They have some Shit To Prove to each other.
2. c!Sam and j!Sam
Oh god there’s two of them. If you thought the Quackitys exacerbated each other’s worst tendencies, hoo boy, they’ve got NOTHING on these two. Sam is a people pleaser at heart; his rationale for whether or not a thing is Right is in large part whether or not he thinks that someone else in possession of the full facts and his perspective would agree with him. He martyrs himself to a lonely idea of justice because he’s quietly and terrifyingly afraid that he WON’T ever get this validation, and that no one will ever tell him “I understand what you’re doing and you’re right to do it.” Well. Guess who’s validating him now? His other self, who he confusingly regards as both literally, tangibly him (and unlike any of the other pairs, it’s true that j!Sam actually is just a future version of c!Sam), and as another sane and trustworthy perspective on this whole mess. Every time one of the Sams hesitates, he glances at his compatriot and feels heartened. They’re in the right. Plus there’s the strange sense of proprietary protection they feel over their respective Dreams. It makes for a nauseous, heady brew.
1. c!Dream and j!Dream
Oh. Oh. Them. They hate each other. And the awful poisonous terrible cruel thing is, self-hatred isn’t something particularly innate to Dream. (In fact, it’s not a major demon of any of the prison trio). The festering loathing he directs at his counterpart is a direct response to seeing his own trauma reflected in another (weaker? Stronger?) version of himself. He’s gone through fucking HELL and he’s still there, and the only target he’s free to rail against is this other self. This self whose flaws he can pick at in the same way his abusers do, and who he can viciously mock for being unable to stand up under the weight of that abuse. They each have a taste now of EXACTLY what each other has been through, and this weight of shared trauma has only made them more awful to each other, because what’s the damn alternative? What’s the alternative, is it to admit that they aren’t coping?
But they’re allies! Without thought and without question, they’re allies. They work together well. They nearly managed to win a fight against steep, steep odds with nothing but grit and desperation.
When they shared that one soft moment (you know the one, right when they surrendered, when j!Dream squeezed c!Dream’s wrist because they knew what was about to happen) I wanted to fucking cry.
#au: foursquare#au: just me and him#c!dream and c!sam#c!dream and c!quackity#c!dream and c!techno#prison trio#abuse.
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OUUUUUUUGH DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT OPINIONS ON EVERYTHING WHEN IT COMES TO THE KILLJOYS.
dr death defying is my fav but the way u jus described motorbaby..... she might take the crown....
okok now i gotta ask- what r ur fav hcs abt any of the killjoys? or what hcs are so stuck in your brain that theyre practically canon to you??? i love ur killjoys sm please i would love to hear you ramble abt them >:]
OH WELL SINCE U ASKED
Actually I've been wanting to talk abt my hcs for a while so THANK U FOR THIS TEE HEE
Anyway! I think like. My interpretations [or hcs i guess] of the 'joys is a lil nonstandard in some ways bc i took the blank slate of their personalities and ran with it GSJSH [so these are all like. Canon to me. Basically. Sorry gerald u never gave ur apocalypse ocs personalities so theyre mine now] basically like. I have some v set hcs on their personalities and main characteristics as a whole
SO!
I like to think that fun ghoul is like. While hes v v chatty and more than a little mischievous hes also EXTREMELY perceptive to the point it's unnerving, and while hes not v good with his own emotions he's fucking insanely good at picking up other people's, as well as like. Tiny details and shit that others wouldn't have noticed. Hes still an idiot tho godbless GKEHSJ. Hes the number one mad gear fanboy. Hes good w explosives but crap with other tech.
Kobra. Ohohohohohohohoooo kobra. Ppl like to hc him as v stoic [which im not implying is a bad hc at all btw!!! Just an observation] but i like to thing hes EXTREMELY emotional and p unpredictable. A v shoot first ask questions later type, and deathly afraid of being percieved as cowardly or weak. Absolutely GARBAGE shot, which is why he has stun gloves. Practically the fucking tech whisperer.Official motorbaby wrangler. Gets astronomical amounts of ass but is terrified of feeling any romantic emotions.Half Japanese, he and poison are fraternal twins!
POISON! Also extremely emotional but has it under sliiightly better control than kobra [lol. "Control." How full's that bottle ur filling ur feelings with now pois?]. Very very good w tactical stuff and planning, likes logic and such. Also v flamboyant and enjoys colour and the life of the zones. Prettiest 'joy in the zones, seriously. Talks a LOT but has absolutely no fucking filter. Extremely sex positive.Abt as emotionally intelligent as a brick. Also half japanese ic the they and kobra being twins thing didnt make it obvious GDJDDJ. Terrified of death but doesnt know it. Romatic feelings for jet are approximately the size of the continent of asia
Jet jet jet jet jet. My sweet girlboy. Lost his entire family in a shootout against bli when he was 14 and now suffers from "i have to keep everyone i love safe at all fucking costs so help me god" disease so bad that its actually a reflex now. Took care of motorbaby the most when she was an infant. Best shot in the zones GODBLESS. Hes got an eye [ha] for beauty and appreciates p much everything the world has to offer as best he can. Trying to be an optimist despite his horrendous anxiety disorder. Spanish is his first language! Doesnt talk much and thinks carefully abt what he says before he says it. Madly in love with poison but has carefully filed that away under "n" for "never touching that ever"
Motorbaby. Stuck halfway between "extremely unchildlike behavior" and being a regular weird little girl. Far too used to violence. LOOOOVES big robots so much her favorite toy is an old mecha action figure ghoul fixed up for her. Impossible not to love, seriously. ADORES her big brothers. High energy but also burns out quickly and has to nap a LOT. Picked up some of the languages the fab four speak aside from english [spanish, italian, and snatches of japanese] but in the manner that means she knows how to swear in four languages. Veeery small
Jet and ghoul are desert boys [tho ghoul wasnt born in the desert and was smuggled out of bat city by his dad when he was a toddler], while kobes and poison are cityboys [escaped when they were both 13]. Jet's the oldest, ghoul's the youngest
I also have some ideas abt zones culture but aside from the talk abt bigotry probably still being rampant in the zones thats smth im saving for my roadtrip au fic tee hee
#SOREY FOR THROWING BLOCKS OF TEXT AT U. IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN#theyre consuming my thoughts they are consuming my BRAIN im so normal. so so normal.#also thank u so much for saying u like my danger days thoughts GSJDHDJ ur so sweet <33333#really im just playing barbies honestly. thats whats happening here#also sorry for being a jetpoison person do u still think im hot 🧍🏻♂️#danger days#[comm noise]
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if you told me a few years back i was gonna revive @single-malt-scotch and not drop it in a week and enjoy it genuinely i would have never imagined it. as much as i consume "cringe" content and enjoy things like hot wheels or barbie unironically, there has been a strangely complicated relationship between me and mcyt- for those who have only followed this blog (and even the one i had before this) youd have no idea i was incredibly involved with and enjoyed the old mcyt smp, mindcrack. after my early fandoms in 2010-2012 mindcrack was my thing, for years (the url of that side blog was what i used to have).
no matter how much i try to throw out the disclaimer "if you remember my mcyt days understand i was a teen and im not a weirdo about these people", the reason i even detached further and further over time wasn't purely that i fell out of it (i did, the server started to dwindle) but the.... shame in never wanting to look back at those days came from the automatic association people gained about mcyt over time, and tumblr's rampant witch hunting culture over calling people out for liking "problematic things".
should be said im talking about this shame and callout culture in the context of 2015 tumblr- to now. i was 16 and that stuff was ingrained in my head. it ruined my consumption and joy for media for years. i liked a lot of stuff without problem but i liked them all with intense, fear filled awareness to not unknowingly be ~bad~ but just touching something people could deem problematic. the moment i registered that my behavior as a 13 year old was "bad" bc i wrote mcyt fanfics was the moment i closed off all of that past and decided it was bad, and i was bad, and i could never ever look at it the same way again.
even as i stayed subbed to some of those people out of not wanting to let go of subs i made almost ten years ago- there was no way i was every going back i thought. i looked at mcyt fandom stuff and cringed, and that increased when the distaste of dreamsmp arose-- which ever valid to dislike dream, the wave of cringe culture over dreamsmp and the general concept of mc smps only furthered my shame in the last years. i was told even more in the present now, that mcyt fandom is Bad because its all weird people shipping real people and its strange and youre obviously bad for associating in any form at all. nuance in enjoying gamers on youtube was suddenly lost. even in that period of dsmp getting popular, i couldnt imagine myself getting to this point again, it really was so engrained in me to never consider mcyt a point of joy for myself, when my inability to do so was always tied to shame.
it sounds silly-- but applying this to a broader range of interests? it doesnt matter if im talking about mcyt or something else. it was so hard for me to decide in my head that there was nothing morally egregious about watching people play fucking minecraft on youtube. even if i draw fan art. even if i indulge in the characters they play in a way that isnt strange or crossing their personal boundaries. im not sure what happened to make people decide "mcyt" was a catch all for the Worst of the bad examples for people within such a large community but the moment that happened it made it so hard to feel like i was allowed to like this ever again. i made my existing sideblog in the early summer and i didnt say anything about it. i had it for months and i said nothing. i was so afraid of considering i might have fun, and find joy in this, i wanted to make sure if i destroyed it, it wasnt tied to here and there were no strings attached.
i slid away to enjoy this in peace. and im glad i did in the sense i took away any stressors of just posting straight to my main with little time to decide my feelings. but through the last months i have on and off added it to my pinned post. added it because fuck it, took it down because anxiety. back up, i have nothing to lose.... back down because i saw some post that made me feel bad again.
i am tired of it. the effect of early tumblr culture stress hangs over me even still and it fucking sucks. ive sat here drawing stuff for months on this sideblog unable to tie it to my name for reasons that dont even make sense, out of fear of a reaction from people id never regard or listen to in the first place. that being said im keeping that blog, its on my pinned, im queueing the art to post here whenever i share it, and taking all my old DA art out of storage was a big one to covercome as it uplocked all my old mcyt art to the public again even stuff i felt the most shame for-- by no means was this fandom what it was when i enjoyed it with 30 other people on tumblr 10 years ago... but im finding joy in this again, and my heart swells for every old mutual i see again and im not denying myself that anymore.
#so anyways#this was hard to write actually#i constantly fear someone will pull up old shit or just decide i am bad for#watching a guy play minecraft? legit#fuck this im tired#YES im writing this on thanksigivnh what about ut
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Also, quick question. Why do you put slashes between DHMIS? Like DH///MIS?
oh its because the tagging system on tumblr is really annying :( if you have a word anywhere in your post or tags then itll show up in the search results. like if i were to have ‘tickle’ in a post it would show up if you searched ‘tickle’ on tumblr, but if you put ‘ti///ckle’ then it wont!
i personally dont like to put t content in the main fandom tags, bc i know that its SUPER common for ‘normal’ people to feel grossed out by it. i understand just how much tckling can be used in a creepy way and i dont like subjecting them to it if theyre just trying to enjoy new fandom content. sometimes ill have exceptions if its not SUPER obvious that its from a tkle blog (like that last art) but generally i avoid it
also im just kind of afraid ‘normal’ people will see it and think im weird </3
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pin!
hi. i am Anonymous_Scotch on ao3 and @single-malt-scotch on tumblr. just made a blog to seperate things mainly bc i kept this a kinda secret, may cross post some fics but thats kind of it! feel free to send fic specific questions here.
~~~
i mostly write hermitcraft, mindcrack, (third) life smp. i really don't watch that many people so it mostly stick to what i know (i came from mindcrack so, mostly them). i have no plans to expand to other mcyt people outside of those mentioned but i have written for these fandoms in the past under different name(s).
in regards to that as well, i am pretty picky on how i write this kinda thing. i dont indulge in any headcanons or theories other than my own and i dont really ship (in a traditional way ig). usually i imply that the world is a 'game' being played, but never actually write outside of the game (irl). i have a lot of my own "rules" for how it can work so, you can probably add it all up to get ideas on how my universe idea functions.
you can send requests or suggestions, but keep reading below to know what people i may or may not write!
what i LOVE writing:
mindcrack! old smp stuff!! in general
death games, uhc, life series... the tension is fun
topics or feelings i can explore and explain in weird ways
pairs/teams i enjoy most: ethubs, keralis & bdubs, keralis & xb, nebtho, single malt scotch, team canada, DOOKE, bookurt
definitely can write:
most of mindcrack. but for hc setting...
bdubs
etho
tentative yes to writing (i know them and watch them, but havent written then a ton so):
grian
scar
keralis
tango
doc
zedaph
Xb
cleo
joe hills
maybe's: (depends. probably wont write them as the main character though)
anyone not in the yes lists. honestly theres just a lot of ppl i dont watch and dont think about hard-- it may change in the future who i Could be willing to write so dont be afraid to ask
subjects??
can write angsty things, hurt/comfort (may not define it the way some of yall do...), a little fluff perhaps- but i do like to be funny and complicated. i dont like super fluffy gooey cutesy stuff either, my 'fluff' just means i dont get super deep. sometimes i lean on humor, sometimes i dont... depends on the vibes. i like to get philosophical and meta at times too.
in terms of "ships" i dont really consider myself a shipper despite using some of those tags ... its mostly done for exposure purposes- you will likely see most of what i write between pairs is either vague, non-romantic, or just suggestive. i like to play into the humorous flirting they actually do, the suggestive jokes, or whatever else. i like to bring up ships in a joking manner (ex. situations that ppl jokingly interpret as suggestive when its not, playful comments about being a 'couple' etc). so when i normally write, its not on my mind in a typical way? but it can be suggestive enough i may tag it as such. i will take some requests along those lines, but i wont write pairs im not familiar with.
i may answer requests in drabbles. if i like it a lot, a full fic. i may answer the asks themselves, or i may not- it depends on how closely i feel i followed a suggestion!
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art as one of the younger kids on sfw enhablr (i’m assuming you’re around 05’ - 08’) how do you feel abt the current content for the maknae line? like ik it’s not always super sexualized or anything but sometimes i see stuff that’s just the way it’s worded really rubs me the wrong way ☹️ esp bc some of the kids on here like you are so young it makes me feel like if they see stuff like that , they might start think it’s okay for others to treat them the same or vice verse … whenever i see edits of niki on tiktok , i have to avoid the comments bc there’s almost always like a “daddy” , “how is he 16” or “you don’t know what you do to me” like wtf he’s a literal child ?? it makes me so mad and honestly so uncomfortable :( and i saw an article on kboo today too that said niki apparently has around 200 explicit or mature fics written abt him on ao3 … sometimes even the fboi trope (usually when it’s written abt minors) bothers me bc i see minors writing abt it (like 13-15 y/o) and i don’t understand why they don’t just use the term player or smtg … bc they’ll go out of their way to mention how the character has sex a lot an whatnot , even that feels way too suggestive for me personally for a minor too write let aline abt a minor too , sorry for the rant,, i was just wondering how you felt … omg also though tbh i noticed that some of the minors on here / blogs in gen seem way too comfy on here like they’ll be sharing where they live , their actual names and sometimes like giving a lot of personal info … like did they not learn abt internet safety or do they just no care? as one of the older kids , i kind of worry abt them :( i really hope everybody stays safe on here <3 & some reminders: never be afraid to block anyone ! bc i’ve seen a lot of minors on here get sent stuff from the p*rn bots or just weird dms :( & u don’t need to force yourself to interact with someone , make sure ur comfy with them first !
hi anon!! firstly you're correct, i am in between 05 & 08, but as someone with basic common sense this rubs me the wrong way so much. back when i was a bigger anime fan, especially from 2020 going forword, i noticed alot of younger kids on apps like tiktok or w@ttp@d not only writing things about adults(like rengoku, toji, gojo, levi) but also minors (bakugo, itadori, megumi) and nobody really said anything? as far as tiktok, i used to see alot of younger anime fans talking about getting railed by thesw characters and so on so forth, and again, most werent talking about it, and if they did they would get attacked. and now, im seeing the same thing happening with younger idols, especially enhypen's maknae line and its so wrong.
number one, there is a difference between sexualizing and sex shaming. alot of the time when these kids get called out there respond is "lets not act like teens dont have sex" and this a response that makes no sense. regardless of whether they do or dont, as a minor you shouldnt be talking about it, especially because it puts you at risks for older people in general to pret on you. this doesnt mean i think we shouldn't educate teens on sex and etc, but talking about railing someone you dont know, older then you or not, is both dehumanizing and just disgusting. there is no way or response to justify sexualizing a minor.
the current content for the enha maknae is 50/50. alot of times ill see people writing scenarios like yandere enha and they include the maknae line and it doesnt feel right. the fboy troupe feels wrong but i see it so much for them and its like 😐😐 why are talking about how a MINOR gets around? or when they age them up purrply to do that but its not sexual😐even with smaus and series, alot if the ways things are put do not feel right. for example, using someone older then the love interest for a faceclaim? especially when the person is a minor, it doesnt feel right. even if its not your intention really think about that shit for a moment. this is a callout woth me naming names cuz this isnt shade or nothing but its basic critical thinking
i have seen the article kboo did, and its just disgusting that the article had to be made. society today is so focused on setting us back and its not setting up these kids for the future. as for the GROWN ASS ADULTS out there writing these fics about the maknaes...... get some help. that is a MINOR and you are a predator.
and youre right, alot of the younger blogs on enhablr are too okay with sharing social medias and info about them and its both shocking and worrying. even things like revealing your age seems unnecessary to me if you're a minir, especially because majority f the time these predators are waiting on that, looking for younger kids. at one point i did have my age in my pinned post and i took it down. at the wnd of the day i am a minor and thats all that is needed to be said. and a response i hear alot to going out of your way to protect yourself is "but why do i have to do this? people should know better." people should also know not to sexualize minors, but they dont. so yeah, dont give out your personal info, what you look like, social medias, etc, and if you do, be careful about that shit.
so heres the bottom line: ni-ki is 16. jungwon is 18. wonyoung is 17. leeseo is 14. eunchae is 15. jongseob is 16. bahiyyih is 17. sunoo just turned 19. all of them are minors minus sunoo, but yall were writing smut or "suggestive" stuff for sunoo before that. stop it. whether you are grown as hell or fresh off the tit yall need to have BASIC COMMON SENSE and realize that shit is fucked up.
and whats worse is thise same 'fans' go and sexualize everything, to the point where you could be 20 and bias and stan an idol whos 19 and you'll be called a predator. get it together, cuz truly, im sick of having this conversation, and ill start beating the color off/into yall if we keep coming back to this.
#thank you for asking this so i could give a full detailed answer to this shit#anyone who wanna argue with me do it! i got time today dw#⸺ let's get serious real quick
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Some of the things that made me 🤌feel something✨ in Stranger Things s4 that definitely weren't supposed to: (kinda began to rant/ramble, but im funny so you should still read it)
- as a part of the "I watch everything with subtitles" gang, the amount of goofy description subtitles is bonkers. In a good way- i, too, would describe that sound as squelching, but that, like, implies wetness? Must one put "squelches wetly" ??? Also, the amount of "eldritch" as a descriptor. Jeez. You know you can say "weird", "sinister", or "ghastly", right? I mean, ok, sinister is used. But like yo. My favorite subtitle has been "eldritch thrumming".
- Henry/Vecna/One/Orderly's timeline. (More below cut)
I dont know how old we're assuming he is, since I haven't finished episode 9 (ITS TWO HOURS AND FUCKING 22 MINUTES THAT IS SO GODDAMN FUCKING ABSURD) so idk if there's been clarity but like. One looks not a day over 25 in 1983 which is when I assume El escapes the lab. But Jamie was probably 28-31 when filming the show, since he's 33, as of when I searched him last night. And Two looks MAAAAAYbe fuckn 17, more likely 14/15. So like. How old was Henry when he committed the murders, how old was he when he became One, how old was he when he became an orderly instead, how old was he when he became Vecna??? EXPLAIN TO ME.
- while I'm thinking about it. This . Is a goddamn. Television show. Right? I grew up in the golden days (everyone romanticized their childhood experiences, im no exception, yes this is a huge generalization and recognize for yourself if you agree with this and please just let me continue, im feeling cynical toward myself) where something called Television (or TV) shows had seasons of about 20 episodes at least, and each episode was anywhere between 20-45 minutes. And. It worked great. Sure, without commercials, you have to fill a whole half/full hour of content, but like. Tv shows these days... I dont remember the last one I watched that was from these days that was longer than 10 episodes, if it even reached that! If each fucking episode of ST had an outrageous budget of like 3something MILLION dollars....... don't u think u could. Chop it up a little bit. ? Each episode is literally already episodic. Plenty of places to cut and make a new episode. Is it because you're afraid of losing attention? Babes, i wouldn't have even watched the show if it hadn't been for an edit of the characters. Sure, maybe im in the minority. But like. God, this show is so fucking long. I've already watched 10 hrs of content for a TV show and you're asking me to spend 2:22 hrs more??????????? Bruh. Split that shit into at least 2 episodes. What.
- this is kinda at fandom, kinda at the d bros- I was led to believe Eddie was in this show waaaaay more than he actually is. He's. Hes barely in this show, and he's certainly not as interesting as im led to believe. Nor is Robin, but that's for another point. Well actually,
- the script does not do right by Robin and Eddie. I believe they are played by good actors! I have no reason to not believe that. Theyre putting their hearts into their jobs here, so props to Maya and Joe. But like. They have the weakest, most obviously quippy lines that simply aren't delivered well. Robin seems to be an afterthought even if a lot of her storyline is kinda spotlit. Honestly, thats the most well done part of her character, and I hate to say that, bc queer people are more than our love lifes or lack thereof! But the rest of her outside wanting to be with a girl is made to be this typical against the grain ~girl~ who doesn't like feminine clothes and can't walk in heels, etc. She feels like all the cliches of a typical anti-main girl and put lesbian on top as a cherry. It just feels weak and like a little over the top. To be clear, I'm not saying she shouldn't be a lesbian. Also, I understand that I wasn't around in the 80s, and I dont know what someone had to do to be obvious to other queers but not obvious to non-queers. But it feels like a disservice or not as well done as it could be. And Eddie... kinda has the same amalgamation of pile of labels. Metal head, dnd dm, guitarist, has charisma but will run at the first sign of danger, also a fan favorite of queer fans (possibly projecting). There's more to each of these characters, but it feels like they, with all this potential, max out the space theyre in and one of them (if theyre in the same scene) has to be chosen over the other. Its just a disservice. It really isn't even a surprise to me, as we close out episode 8, that Eddie doesn't matter ultimately to the story except to be a sacrifice. Theres not growth or development beyond him deciding to not run anymore. Joe's voice may be music, but the lines that seem most genuine to Eddie are improvised rather than written. Which is not !!!!! A!!!!! Good!!!! Sign!!! *sigh*. Anyway I think im done about them. They just feel like they take up as much space as they can and are still flat. They have lots of facets as interesting character with the potential to be more, but either the performances of the written script or the boundaries of it limit people I imagine could actually be pretty fucking good.
- maybe its because I never have, but like, my god, I dont care about the adults storyline. Since season 1, I have skipped nearly every scene for the adults, simply because I could not bother. Part of the reason I started s4 was for the actor of Anatov- I think this actor is neat and I've liked his other two characters I've seen (from Game of Thrones and Jack Ryan). So hearing that he was in s4 was cool, but since he's attached to Hopper's storyline, its hard to really give a shit. Also, his directing and line delivery hasn't been very great. His physical choices made... I feel like they are unrealistic? I just. I like him because I like the actor and I like that he isn't a total dick, but I also don't care to worry about Hopper's storyline, so I dont watch it much. When the stakes are low, I wish they weren't made out to be life or death when Hopper just needs to figure out his development without getting to do a lot of action, and you're golden, and dont need to watch any more. Sure, its neat, but I know that Hopper and Joyce and Murray are gonna be fine, so like.... whats the point. You're not making me care any more about these characters. Altho Murray is indeed funny as hell, God bless.
- I do love the music and score of this season. Its very in tuned with itself, it knows what stranger things sounds like. And so that remix of the Journey song at the end of episode 8 was 1000% a banger and so cool because already its a cinematic, iconic song, but then you mix it to fit better with your over-arching shows score and. God, it sounds so cool!!!!
- steve and Eddie's dynamic. Fandom does exaggerate their relationship a little bit, but not really in a way thats too far-reaching. I think, mostly, that the duffer bros were too scared or didn't even think to see it as queer, even if Joe was exuding charm from his pores and confirming with fans that he was being a little flirty. Now, of course, it may have partially been a lie to appease fans and audiences. But like also. I see where people are putting on their "I see gay" goggles. Maybe I pause the show too much to laugh or ramble frustratedly at the content, but its. Idk. Not really what I see.
Ultimately, I probably harmed my own viewing experience with my decision to see the show as like. Entertainment because its already bad, not really giving much room to be impressed or emotionally influenced. Or maybe I'm just feeling cynical today. Don't know. Either way, par for the course, im disappointed in a show I dont really care that much about. Is that more commentary on me, or culture saying "oh its popular you HAVE to watch it", or my falling into fomo or just wanting to watch something to feel anyrhing..... idk. Hopefully the finale is interesting. I'll probably watch most of it- even the adult storyline scenes.
But I dont have much hope or grace left for it.
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Get to know me
Thank you @sflow-er you know how much j like doing these ahahahhah
Do you make your bed?
Not really, i try to but in reality i never get around to it
What's your favourite number?
3, 9 and 12. NOT 6
What is your job?
i currently have two jobs, one of which is a little hard to explain but essentially boils down to research in healthcare and the other is hospitality in the biggest tourist attraction in my country (which is a seasonal job). two VERY different jobs in very different sectors, hahah
If you could go back to school, would you?
I actually am still in uni and i do not feel any particular wish to go back to high school. I would, however, have chosen a different degree if i could start over again but thats a different story.
Can you parallel park?
Technically yes, i can, but i hate it and it takes ages so i avoid it at all costs.
A job you had that would surprise people?
actually most jobs ive done surprise people, but more so because nobody knows they exist as jobs. In high school i used to do delivery for the pharmacy and as mentioned before now the research job. both things most people dont know are things someone gets paid to do until i tell them hahah.
Do you think aliens are real?
realistically i dont think its possible at all that we are the only planet with living beings on it. i do believe that there are no aliens in our solar system, but i do not believe that in the entirety of the universe only one planet managed to create life. I also think that life might look very different on other planets but im convinced 'aliens' exist in some way shape or form
Can you drive a manual car?
Again, technically i can. but i try to avoid it all costs bc ive only driven automatic cars basically since i got my license lol
What's your guilty pleasure?
reading fic, even more guilty if its from a fandom im technically no longer into but i sometimes just get this weird nostalgic need, you know
Tattoos?
Not yet, i have a design and a place in mind but my family is very strongly opposed to all tattoos and i still see them often enough to be a little bit afraid
Favourite colour?
for clothes, blue or brown. for other things anything in the navy colour palette (so like burgundy and navy and other colours in those kinda hues)
Favourite type of music?
I honestly will listen to anythign that has a recognisable distinct melody (so mostly excluding metal, too heavy rock and some rap) but am especially fond of 2000s 2010s dance music or indie/pop music from anything between the 80s and the 2010s. Not a big fan of what seems to be more modern pop culture but i can appreciate a harry styles or a taylor swift every once in a while
Do you like puzzles?
Yes!!!!! anything that i can use my brain for im down
Any phobias?
creeped out by all bugs and spiders (yes, even the cute and pretty ones) and not a big fan of big animals. slightly uncomfortable at high heights, dont do well in the dark and very very very uncomfortable in small spaces
Favourite childhood sport?
Did gymnastics until i was about 7 and then switched the the loml that was swimming and did that all the way up until uni. hated anything involving running or a ball
Do you talk to yourself?
Not when im alone, sometimes when other people are present
What movies do you adore?
I tend to like any movie i watch. Special mention to knives out, megamind and bottoms though
Coffee or tea?
I like the fancy coffees when im out having a drink or having lunch, at home i prefer tea
What was the first thing you wanted to be growing up?
i dont remsmber what came first exactly but the three professions that had the most prominent part in my youth were hairdresser, teacher and most of all writer. I always liked writing and words and languages and making things but unfortunately that took a stark dive durong high school that im still recovering from lol
as usual consider yourself tagged if you feel like doing this ahah
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So we are just friends now - and I’m fully moved in 
So we are just friends now
He said he wants to find like a long term partner bc he wants to get married and settle down and he doesn't want to break my heart and he feels like he might be out of time soon bc he will be 40 soon and he wants to have a family
And he said that in 6 months he usually know that he is in love or not and he doesn't feel that way w me and I'm like " it takes u 6 months to know if u r in love ?"
like that's crazy fast
And he said bc I handled that convo really well and didn't throw a fit or get mad he is even more attracted to me and he said he is confused now *
and he said he knew in the back of his mind just bc things are fine between us doesn't mean it's right to keep seeing me knowing that it's not what he wants long term
and he was worried about me being in love w him and him not knowing and he is checked out
I feel like he was expecting me to say something or have that intense emotion towards him and I told him " rn I don't think long term - I'm thinking about getting my life in order " and when he asked about the 6-7 months we had been dating and how I felt it was going I pointed out that I couldn't think about being in love or anything like that bc he hadn't even asked me to be his gf and he was like " oh I didn't know I had to ask u about that" and I'm like " !!! U know I haven't had many relationships- these things r important to me"
And I also told him that I was not ready to be in a vulnerable place like that- and that's why I can handle this news so well - and I'm happy that we are friends now and we are still in each others lives bc I care about him and he has done a lot for me and it was so easy being in a relationship with him
that it was nice and fine and that's also why this convo was so hard for him
Bc there wasn't anything wrong between us and it was very easy
and he was worried about like hurting me and mistreating me and I told him that how he he told me and everything was nice and I'm not hurt
And I'm honestly not hurt - I'm sad bc I am going to miss that time together
but it's going to be fine and I want him to find the love of his life - like he should be more intentional if he already knows if he will be in love 6 months
and he said he can't date multiple people at the same time so one he is done grieving the end he will start to date other people and is intentional about finding his future wife
But ya we didn't have that spark but we did have an honest conversation and I could tell him that I'm honestly afraid of a long term relationship rn and that's why the last 6-7 months I've just been enjoying how healthy it has been and how easy it has been
And I knew a hard convo would happen at some point and it's better now than later when I'm more attached or I felt like he took time from me
I just am not at the mental capacity to be in a relationship Rn anyways
that Level of vulnerability ??
I don't have it in me to share that yet
But ya before we had that talk we built my bed and we moved stuff around so now I'm sleeping on my bed
And he was so concerned about me getting settled in before he had this convo w me
He has had women in his life who threw a fit before and was really upset but ya dude he looked like he would cry at some point
so I kept cracking jokes
thru out the convo - bc I was like Feeling like we needed humor otherwise it would just be a really weird convo or it might go south or something
ya I was like shocked when he said he knows 6 months in Like I told him - I'm not even fully unmasked at that point
hell I'm still working thru how to be vulnerable and be present and just not always get mad at myself
I was like " u know me but u don't really know me - im still very guarded "
he said I don't seem that anxious and I'm just like uh I've been a crying panicked mess the last few months for a variety of reasons and I just have not been feeling like my best self so no I wasn't thinking that deep about our relationship
but what do i know - I haven't been in love before - I've had to reel myself back in everytime I thought I was w my future husband/ could see myself in love over a text or acts of service
He really kept emphasizing how he really tried his best to treat me well and I'm like ... it doesn't take much to treat me very well
ya I was pointing out to him about that- I mask a lot and most of the time I'm in my own head and in my own world
it's like again you cannot date a 25 year old like me w my own stuff and adhd and expect them to be one kind of way/ look for a spark when my energy is on 17 other mini lights - my sparks are all over
I also told him - my personality and who I am - this is prob it and if he thought I would be calmer in the coming months or something was to change - I told him - that prob wasn't going to happen and we prob are also not compatible in the end
He can give himself that 6 month mark and tell himself he has to feel a certain way by then - then it's also prob more than just that - that we are not completely compatible
Which is fine - I told him I have felt a lot more calmer bc I know him So there are traits that I absorbed from him
he told me if was younger or 34 he could have been seeing me for longer at this rate
Im encouraging him to find his person - and make that effort - someone out there is the one
it's just not me !
In true writing fashion I sent this
Thank you for sharing how you were feeling with me today. The compassion and integrity and kindness you showed really means a lot. I am so happy you are in my life in every form that it takes and I really hope you find what you are looking for. You deserve it - fr
I am excited about this new chapter in our friendship! It’s going to be nice to hang out and hopefully enjoy the amenities and just hang out together. You are really important to me and not just anyone gets that title. Thank you for being there for me for a lot of stressful times in my life and for all the best times! You have no idea what that means to me. You are a wonderful person and empathetic and kind and intentional and I adore you in so many ways.
Additionally. !!
I told him that me moving out was a big deal bc it is giving me agency and men r not emotional getaway cars and im trying to heal so another explanation for my lack of strong feelings - I wanted him to understand that it wasn't him - like im just trying to get back to where i was
he's great and wonderful - and like honestly I'm glad he told me and he still wants to help me bring the mirror to my place and be helpful still
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Weird dream #2
Well i guess that first one wasnt weird. Pretty standard if you ask me. But it was the first time i ACTUALLY dreamed about interacting with Liam in a whileeee. Like a dream where we were talking and joking and i felt in love, and so attractd to him. Its been....what feels like months since any dreams like that.
Anyone this one was actually weird. As i teased to, Alpha and Mk came to a party I was at. Initially this party was like in a college setting. Me returning to SC like normal and meeting all the youngins. There were these squad boys who were like obsessed with me. Wouldnt stop talking to me and stuff and they thought i was so cool. But literally it was euphoric in that ALL my friends were there. Like everyone who i truly love and trust in my life. Like from ancient spa, from new spa. It was so great I was ELATED.
Having the best time. But was also in comfy clothes, felt a little ugly. Not completely but for sure not a bad bitch. And here comes fucking alpha walking in WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND. I was immediately so put off and uncomfortable, and insecure and taken back to this high school place of anxiety. Despite being surrounded with so many people that genuinely love me. Like isnt that so insane that he could make me feel so small again so quickly?
Then things morphed into what felt like a family party. It was a party for Lia actually. And im like LOST on who invited them but im just pissed bc like what a buzzkill now i have to not get too drunk and dodge them all night. Like they had no friends here? so i dont know why i was worried about looking uncool, but for some reason when i looked at my room of friends i was afraid this would be the ONE moment they would neglect me or something.
So i got nervous and went upstairs to take a breather in lias room. Mind you this is a family party, and i went there to escape, like bedrooms are off limits to random guests. The room also felt like a small attic. It was rlly tiny in there. So i go, Ia comes in and i start explaining to her like wtf?? my ex is downstairs and the girl who was in between us when we stopped talking. And she was like what? which one downstairs? And then she was like “is he the tall, (hot) one?” ANd i didnt even need to clarify. I was like yes the tall, blonde, hot ken looking guy thats him :/
THEN!! As we’re talking about him HE AND MK WALK IN THE ROOM. And i didnt know if i should be like.....? gtfo but why did they feel comfortable doing that, who invited them, what the FUCK IS GOING ON. hOW DID you find me.
And it turns out they were genuinely coming in to hangout....like make small talk. And im like this is the fucking twilight zone, does he think we’re friends? Like its a cramped room and he sat down on the floor right in front of me and tried talking to ia like they were buds man???? ;)
And ia is outright ignoring him cause shes riding for me, but then i felt awkward and felt pressure to be fake. And it was so weird.
Mk tried causally talking about good places to get ur nails done in town and trying to make conversation. And i felt so UNCOMFY. Like it felt like someone just came into my bedroom unannounced, when i thought the door was locked, and i wasnt decent, and i didnt even know they were coming over.
So. fucking. odd.
Why did i have a dream where alpha was trying to look hot and be friends :((
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:p
#txt it#personal#my bf is coming here in a few weeks to visit#mixed emotions bc things aren’t great rn#like. they’re better than they were a month ago but they’re not great#and im afraid of it feeling weird between us bc of that#but also like. i really miss him.#and things not being great doesn’t mean i don’t love or miss him#looking forward to getting to see him and to sleeping beside him again bc that’s honestly the nicest experience#we are gonna try kbbq also !#i want kith#anyway now that that’s over you wanna see my renegade?#s
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