#and im also a christian i love to serve

[doromoni]

Hunting Affections

Charles Leclerc x photographer!reader

Max Verstappen x photographer!reader

Part 6.

fanfic + smau fic

y/n faceclaim : Hwang Eunbi

warnings : Ferrari bashing ( Im so sorry , the plot needs it 🥹) , mentions of abuse.

A/N : UP FOR EDITING 🤍

<previous next>

Summary; Love is but a concept — just connections of neurons that take part in the brain … and yet, why is it the most painful when one falls alone?

or

Loving someone who doesn’t love you back , until you can’t no more. Maybe then they’ll actually know what they’ve lost.

Ignorance is medicated by knowledge and experience — but ignorance can only be cured when the problem is seen and acknowledged.

I used to think that I was just what you made of me, thinking that what I’ve accomplished was because of your influence. You were sensitive, I wouldn’t say that you were insecure, no— you just had the tendency of being self righteous and self serving , I grew in fear that I would’ve taken a piece of your spotlight, so I hid in your shadow … always so quiet and obedient.. But I guess , I now know that i was also at fault, I was ignorant of how you made me so dependent to you and your actions.

I liked to think that I grew apart from ignorance, being enlightened by my own wrong actions and thoughts. Braking the chains that hindered me from living life— the chains that you’ve shackled on me. Maybe, it wasn’t your intention to cage me and poison me with your affections… maybe you’re we’re ignorant , just like I once was. But your ignorance is still no excuse.

I could only hope that you find your own peace and fulfillment . Because I have found mine, and I will be selfish this time and I wont ever let go.

———

Majority of racing fans see Red Bull Racing as the evil power hungry villain of Formula 1 , that and all people in its team are hateful scums of the motorsport world . When in fact , they are the most kind and loving team I have had the chance to work with — where people who treat each other with respect and warmth no matter their organizational hierarchy . But do not get me wrong , the other teams aren’t bad … it’s just Red Bull has its business and employee relationships balanced to a tee.

Moreover, the issue of sexism had been rampant in the motor world, that is already a fact, yet I felt both seen and understood in the premises, in walls of the Red Bull Office… who would’ve known. My presence here was not for a diversity hire or some agenda. I was put here to actually innovate the Red Bull Racing brand and pull my own weight.

Never in my career in motorsports have I felt so appreciated and significant enough to be treated correctly , most specifically in this moment , that sadly I cannot say hadn’t happened before .

I was discreetly pulled from my meetings to talk face to face with Christian Horner. All the possible mistakes I could’ve made came rushing in to my mind. It hasn’t been a week since I’ve officially worked for the racing team , yet here I am walking towards the office of the CEO and team principal of Red Bull Racing.

With a deep breath , I gently knocked on the mahogany door that separated me from my possible dismissal.

“Christian, its Y/N”

“Oh , yes yes . Come in!” Christian’s voice echoed through the thick wood. Slowly opening the door , there I saw my boss with his back pressed on the plush leather material of his office chair ; a hand perched on the bridge of his nose as he signaled me to sit.

“ So , am I in trouble? Why did you need me?” I gave an awkward laugh as I tried to lighten the mood

“It’s about Max” Memories of the meetings and debriefings of relationship lectures from the Italian team came to mind. The lectures were harsh and are mostly one sided , as the fault was somehow always pushed to me ; even if I wasn’t entirely involved , but who could they have blamed? Charles? He was their golden boy — so the nearest person to point to was me. It was always me.

Just like muscle memory, my words instantly echoed.

“I’m so sorry “ slipped from my mouth.

My hands trembled as I waited for the unending reprimands to be more careful not to taint the team brand and all the crap that followed.

But, nothing came … Christian’s face contorted to a face of confusion and perplexity

“…For what? “ He then asked leaning a smidge forward ; his chair squeaking a little.

“Oh … uhm , you said something about Max? I’m assuming that I did something to dirty his image?” I said slowly, now also confused.

“What? No! Max’s image has never been better., Well not if we couldn’t cover this issue. I called you here because I wanted you to work closely with the PR head to cover a fight with Max and other drivers”

my brain stop working , as I heard the words Max , fight and other drivers, slowly connecting the dots ; my mouth spoke before I could realize

“WHAT?! Is Max okay?! How did that happen??”

“Max , is physically ok .It was after the press conference. It was between Max , Leclerc , Daniel and Oscar . We couldn’t get any of the drivers to talk … We were hoping that you could talk to Max.”

As I processed his words , the dilemma of professionalism and personal life came tumbling down and the distinction between the two are becoming blurry. The trauma of working for Ferrari with Charles once again came rushing back.

“Sir, are you asking me as an employee to interrogate my boyfriend? “ I asked , swallowing my nerves . Hoping that what I was thinking of was no where near the truth.

“No y/n , I’m asking for you to see If Max is alright and If he would like to sit out the practice races tomorrow … and if he does open up to you about the fight, then you are not obligated to tell us anything without Max’s consent” As Christian said those words , I let out a breath that I didn’t know I was holding in; the huge weight leaving my shoulders , because even if they had asked that of me I refuse to betray the person that I love for my career.

“Thank you, Christian. Where is Max right now?” I asked standing up .

“He’s currently inside his driver room — he’s not allowing anyone to enter. Well we hope you’d face a different outcome ” Christian said as he walked me out of his office.

I chuckled at his statement , a very typical Max Verstappen move. Not that he doesn’t want anyone to near him, he’s just afraid that he might say something wrong in the heat of the moment ; something that I’ve learned to handle in the years that i’ve known the Dutch Red Bull driver.

“Hey, Christian… thanks for not asking me to break Max’s trust” I said as I hesitated going out the door.

“Of course, kid. Max is family and now you are too.” He said as he ruffled my hair, earning a groan and a swat from me.

— — —

Pacing through the Red Bull motorhome in a mix of a jog and sprint , I made my way towards Max’s driver room.

And right outside the door was Mary : Max’s Pr manager, pacing back and forth as she spoke to someone on her phone.

Her eyes met mine , and in an instant she was in front of me

“ Oh thank goodness! , y/n! Finally ! you go talk to Max , please . I need to sort important matters about the issue, which of course will be debriefed in our meeting later… alright bye!”

And just like that , Mary was gone . And once again I am facing a mahogany door, only this time it was my boyfriend on the other side.

I raised my knuckles towards the door and gently knocked. Pressing my ear towards the door

“My love , it’s me . What happened? Can you open the door” I heard rustling, but there was no reply.

“Max, please open the door, love . Remember what we agreed on? Communication is the highest priority, please love, let’s talk”

then a soft click and a knob twisting was heard , as the door opened I was then pulled into his embrace . Max’s head buried in my neck , as I felt wetness and heard soft sniffles, Max was crying.

Suddenly alarmed with the severity of the situation, I instantly wrapped my arms around him , a hand softly brushing his hair ; saying soft reassuring words in his ear.

I continued to hold Max tightly in my embrace, as rouge tears slowly fell from my eyes. hurt filling my heart at the sight of the person I love breaking down. Briskly wiped the tears from my cheeks, I heard Max mumble.

“Max?” I asked as I gently maneuvered his face towards me , cradling his cheeks and wiping his tears away with the pad of my thumbs.

“I- I lost control, and I hit him. I punched Charles … I’m sorry. He was insulting you and I-i … it just happened. I was so angry … and I enjoyed doing it., am I really a monster?” His voice broke . A gasp fell out of my lips as my eyes fell to Max’s knuckles , they were bruised and bleeding from the cuts.

The conversation that we had about physical violence came to mind. Max had entrusted me with the knowledge of the extent to which his father had used physical violence to discipline him in his childhood. They’re relationship was better now… but the trauma still stays. Max had sworn to no longer resort to physical violence , he didn’t want anyone to go through what he had before.

“ Shhh, shhh Max, my love . It’s alright. Everything is okay , you’re okay. You didn’t enjoy hurting him , you fought for me, you protected me… that’s it my love, that’s it . You’re not a monster , you never were and you never will be. Max you’re the farthest from it . My love, I’m sorry that you’re facing this because of me. Im so sorry” I lifted the his busted hand and gently pressed a kiss to his wrist.

Guilt suddenly came twisting my stomach, bile rising to my throat. Because of me , Max had done what he hated the most. Im so sorry Max.

“N-no , I don’t regret protecting you , Schatz. I regret my way of doing it. You will always come first.” Max’s change of attitude gave me whiplash. Gone were the tears and vulnerability. The look of determination overcoming his entire feature, he looks so determined for what? Am not so sure.

“My love , what do you mean by that?” I asked as I searched the answer in his eyes.“The track , Liebling … the track” a grin now stretched his face.

“Max , please think straight .You don’t need to do anything “ I said as I once again raised a hand to his cheek softly.

“It’s my job to protect you, My Schatz” Max said , now pulling me closer in his embrace.

“Yeah , yeah … but who treats your wounds, huh? Big baby, please be safe” words muffling as Max pressed my head to his chest. The worry never leaving my mind.

y/n_stills.

Liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1, schecoperez and 1,427,995 others

y/n_stills. I didn’t sign up for this @redbullracing I was promised 2 normal drivers. But good job on P1 and P2 on practice 3 I guess

tagged : @maxverstappen1 and @schecoperez

user1 not you using these pics 😭.

user2 y/n outing the red bull drivers. i love it!

user3 Keep em coming @y/n_stills.

y/n_stills. You’re welcome children

maxverstappen1 wow… thanks dear

y/n_stills. Love you 😘 @maxverstappen1

redbullracing you’ve signed the contract

y/n_stills. unfortunately :))

redbullracing excuse us?

y/n_stills. nothing ~ thanks for the snacks 😘

user1 y/n is continuing the beefing with motorteams saga 😭

schecoperez thanks y/n

y/n_stills. you are welcome checo 😇

danielricciardo the sarcasm is so nice 😇

maxverstappen1 you’re lucky you’re not here @danielricciardo

landonorris oh, are we bullying @y/n_stills.?

alexalbon another reason why I don’t regret leaving Redbull. 🫶

y/n_stills. I hate you all >:(( and @alexalbon? lily wants a word with you 😇

mclaren our drivers are well behaved 😇

y/n_stills. Im giving the fattest side eye. 👀

landonorris I am well behaved!

y/n_stills. This u?

landonorris … touché

danielricciardo what did I do??

y/n_stills. @danielricciardo fault by association

oscarpiastri but i’m good right? @y/n_stills

y/n_stills. You’re safe for now @oscarpiastri , little papaya… better watch your attitude 🤨

user4 y/n is not playing y’all HAHAHAHAH

user5 she ain’t holding back fr fr , the grid should watch their back 🤣

user6 everyone say thanks to y/n for giving us driver interactions.

user7 it’s great to see Redbull’s wacky side tbh~ they are not as evil as people make them to be .

user8 they literally instantly cut off their second drivers.

user9 @user8 woah thats statement is baseless, they do give them chances for the drivers to prove themselves… at the end of the day the goal is to win.

scuderiaferrari work for us again

y/n_stills. I don’t go back to my exes , sorry ☺️

user1 SIDE EYE

user2 did y/n really just 🫣

user3 THE TEA IS HOT , y/n your never escaping the rumors , girl.

mercedesamgf1 get it line! you already let her go once smh

user4 which ex 🤔 hmm ? Don’t be shy y/n , which ex.

y/n_stills. 10 mins

viewed by maxverstappen1 , charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 2,729,691 others

story replies

maxverstappen1 Thank you, Liebling! I love you 💙

y/n_stills. love you more 💙

maxverstappen1 lmao no.

y/n_stills. Emilian 🤨 Excuse you? Dafuk you mean , no?

maxverstappen1 no, because I love you more.

y/n_stills. Your love disgusts me 🙄

maxvestappen1 well then be ready to be disgusted for the rest of our lives.

y/n_stills. Woah wut?? Max?

y/n_stills. MAX?? Hello??? You don’t get to dip after that

y/n_stills. max max max max

y/n_stills. safe driving … luv u 💙

maxverstappen1 Love you more 💙

y/n_stills. ugh I hate you >:((

oscarpiastri make em chow their last ka-chow?

y/n_stills. You’re too young to understand top tier humor , oscar

oscarpiastri I’m literally 1 year younger than Lando and 3 years younger than you

y/n_stills. Yes and still a baby

oscarpiastri Wowwwww. Ghee and you’re old, mom

y/n_stills. Watch your mouth, young man 🤨🤨

oscarpiastri sorry mom

y/n_stills. That’s better! Good luck with qualifying ,little papaya 🧡 drive safe

oscarpiastri thank you 🧡

charles_leclerc seriously y/n , stop it

y/n_stills. seriously charles, move on.

charles_leclerc do you honestly not miss me at all?

y/n_stills. nope, so stop whatever you’re doing and be happy with what you have.

charles_leclerc you’re just confused

y/n_stills. Dude? You’re the one who’s confused . For the last time, leave me aloneeeeeee . I swear I’ll block you and file a restraining order.

f1wags

Liked by user1 , user2 , user3 and 168,281 others

f1wags Y/N L/N spotted with Victoria Verstappen today in the F1 Paddock! But the Red Bull Senior Designer is not in a Red Bull Uniform , I see. It looks like y/n is a full time wag today and she is off duty. Go support yo man, girl! 😏

Y/N L/N was a no show today at FP3 , which had fans curious and speculating of the photographer’s absence on the grid . But the curiosity of fans are quickly satisfied, as it was reported that y/n is indeed within the confines of the Red Bull motorhome offices , catering to her responsibilities to Red Bull. Nevertheless, she had shown support by posting congratulatory memes of the 2 Red Bull drivers on her instagram account.

Moreover, it looks like we will be in fact seeing more of y/n l/n but this time within the confines the Red Bull Garage; as a support of Max Verstappen and the whole Red Bull crew!

user1 it’s great to see that y/n takes her job seriously.

user2 we do love a boss bitch

user3 Red Bull had hit the home run with y/n fr fr

user4 a professional queen 🤍

user5 she supports Max both emotionally and professionally, we love to see it

user6 you know what I love the most? Right after her work , she said bye to the uniform

user7 I mean, no one can stop a fashion icon 😎

user8 she’s so extra , I love it HAHAHAHAH

user9 Im in love with her jacket! Someone please tell me where to get it pls pls

user10 Brunello Cucinelli … and the price hurts 😀

user 11 I always forget that they are literally loaded

“ So everybody , welcome back to Formula 1 . It’s a sunny day , no rain forecasted for today’s qualifying. Teams are stowing away their slicks and wet tires and our drivers are all at standby in their cars as they wait for the firsts qualifying session to officially start.”

“ I must say, Crofty . Our drivers are quite tense today during FP3, and even yesterday during the practice sessions; specially our drivers in red .The Ferrari Garage not particularly happy with Charles Leclerc’s rookie mistake during the 4th turn — almost causing a collision with his own teammate Carlos Sainz.”

“Ferrari was not having any of it! the drivers were called to pit instantly— was this another lapse in strategy? Or perhaps a driver error? I cannot tell, the issue was not brought up to the FIA… I mean it’s their own teammate. Very aggressive on Leclerc’s part, I might say”

“ And do you know who’s also driving aggressively during the free practices? Max Verstappen and Checo Perez — I believe that Christian Horner is loosening the reigns on his drivers. There were no radio calls to the drivers when both cars were given warnings for impeding Leclerc’s car during free practice 2 yesterday “

“ Also , another impending incident had also happened to Charles Leclerc, only this time it was by the Mclarens, By rookie Oscar Piastri and Lando Norris .They were also only left of with a warning by the FIA , as the both Mclaren were bound to enter the pits.”

“Wow , wow, The FIA is very lenient with the teams this Grand Prix… but what an unlucky session for Charles Leclerc, They could only hope that his chances in qualifying would be better”

“ First one to go out of the garage is the 7x Champion Lewis Hamilton , and not long after is George Russell. Both Mercedes are out of their garages and is waiting at pit-lane exit. Along with Fernando Alonzo’s Aston Martin.”

“And out goes Charles Leclerc’s Ferrari and Max Verstappen goes next, last year’s pole position and winner”

“Will he be able to do it again? Will Max Verstappen be able to grab another pole and another win?”

Max’s eyes never left the car infront of him , his gloved hands flexing on the Red Bull steering wheel. Body fueled with adrenaline

Mind zeroing on the red Ferrari, til the radio sound came on and the voice of GP sounded,

(Radio conversation are italicized)

; Max we are with you. Do what you need to do;

;Thanks guys, will do. I’ll keep it clean, tell checo I said thank you;

;Thanks Max, will relay your message to checo;

Max’s eyes came to view the Ferrari’s side mirror , to see Charles already looking at Him ; eyes glaring with rage. Max scoffed , lifting his visor — staring back with no fear nor regret.

“Oh, a radio from Max to his engineers, “say thank you to perez”. What could that mean?”

“And that starts the first qualifying session for this week’s Grand Prix!”

***

“ 17 minutes in Q1 and all cars are out of their garage with Lando Norris is currently leading and Piastri 0.100 seconds behind his team mate. 1 minutes left in Q1”

“Oohh! And Charles Leclerc spins out to the gravel… the wing might’ve taken some damage on that turn. It looks like the car is beached! Let’s look at it in another angle .Ferrari could only hope that Leclerc’s time will get him to Q2”

;MERDE!! THE CAR IS UNDERIVABLE!

; You’re pushing the car so recklessly!! Go back to the garage!;

;Fix this, Oversteers like shit…;

“ And that’s the checkered flag! Sargeant, Zhou, Magnussen, Hulkenburg and Ocon . And that is it for Haas and both Alphatauris are in q2! Leclerc barely making it! “

As Q1 had ended, both Red Bulls are called back to the garage and asses damages.

;That’s P3 , P3 , Max. Don’t push the car … let’s conserve the tires for now , Leclerc has been beached;

A scoff escaped Max’s lips.

;Copy;

Heat, sweat, the roar of the engine and enraged shouts filled the Ferrari garage. Charles Leclerc was seen in an argument with his engineers and mechanics — tension within one side of the garage grew rampant as the mechanics scramble to replace the front wing of the car.

Q2 was not any better for Ferrari, barely qualifying both drivers to Q3. Having everyone confused at the driver difference — as Sainz qualified in P4 while Leclerc qualifying P9.

“And welcome back to Formula 1 , We are starting Q3! Verstappen , Perez , Leclerc , Sainz, Norris, Piastri, Alonzo, Hamilton, Russell and Stroll battling for pole position”

“And that’s 12 minutes on the clock! And Half of the cars are on the circuit”

“ Hamilton sets the fastest 1st sector and 3rd sector , while Piastri sets the fastest 2nd sector!”

***

“And that is the checkered flag! The drivers have 1 one more lap for qualifying!”

“LECLERC TAKES THE FASTEST TIME! That’s P1, and Sainz crosses the line! That’s P2 and P3 for Oscar Piastri!— an amazing drive by the Ferraris!”

Everyone was tense at the red bull garage as they wait for Max to cross the finish line.

;Max , your currently in P7 , P7 , thats P7. You can do one last lap , send it Max;

;Copy, copy, where’s Leclerc?”

;Currently P1;

Max’s fingers flexed , a smirk growing in his face.

“Max makes the fastest 1st sector, and the 2nd sector…. and that’s the fastest 3rd sector!! And max crosses the checkered flag! ”

“AND THAT’S P1 FOR MAX VERSTAPPEN ! MAX TAKES POLE AGAIN! “

; What position was that?;

;That’s P1! P1! You got pole Max. Nice driving!;

; Amazing job everyone , let’s do well in the race;

“And that Qualifying! P1 for Max Verstappen, P2 for Charles Leclerc, and P3 for Carlos Sainz!”

The three drivers parked their cars to their respective places . The spaniard came rushing to hug Max , excitedly patting the Dutch driver’s back while the words “great driving” and chuckles were exchanged. The spanish driver parted from Max, then nudging the pole sitter towards the car of Charles .

The 1st Ferrari driver was getting out his car, clearly fuming. Max went near the Monegasque driver only to whisper “That’s for Y/n”, then moving away not once looking back.

“Max! Max! Congratulations on getting pole today! How does it feel to be in pole in this circuit again?“ Max went to answer the question

“Getting pole was amazing , specially this one… this holds a significant meaning to me personally.Today had been great , the car was amazing to drive ; and the team was as cooperative as ever.”

“Also Max, People had noticed that you were particularly motivated today? Is there a particular reason for that?”

“Well it’s always a motivation to win for the team , for all their hard work and all the time they spent making sure that the car was to its best. Also my friends and family are here to support… and of course my girlfriend who’s in the garage cheering me on right now”

Max answered smoothly with a practiced smile , as Leclerc was fuming from his peripheral vision.

“Ah ,of course! Y/N! A dear friend of ours here at Sky Sports! And lastly , any words for tomorrow’s race , Max?”

“Winning is always the goal , so yeah , We will try our best to keep the adding wins to the record. Thank you”

Max turned his back to the camera , handing the microphone to the Monegasque Ferrari driver — a face splitting derisive grin plastered on his face further infuriating the Ferrari driver.

“Thank you Max! We now have Charles Leclerc here with us! So Charles, how does P2 feel?”

Charles wanted nothing more than to storm out and leave the interview , as his face grew redder by the second .

“Well , its not better than pole. To be honest I’m very disappointed with the results.”

“Still an amazing effort for the team! That’s P2 for you and P3 from your teammate, right? Basing from the previous races, Ferrari had brought serious upgrades”

“Yes , but it is not enough for pole. But we will do our outmost best to beat Red Bull in tomorrow’s race. That I am sure. Thank you” and with that Charles went storming back to the Ferrari garage

“Oh! Uhm.. thanks Charles! Next we have another Ferrari Driver, Carlos Sainz on P3! So how do the upgrades feel Carlos?”

“I personally thought that the car was great compared to the last car during the last Grand Prix… the upgrades worked. We are very far from the Red Bull level of machinery, but we are getting there ….”

y/n_stills.

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, oscarpiastri , and 728,627 others

y/n_stills. Another pole for you , love! Amazing driving as usual. Couldn’t be prouder 💙

P.s you didn’t have to show off, just because I’m here 🙄

tagged : @maxvertappen1

maxverstappen1: I mean that pole was for you :))

y/n_stills. 🥺🥺🥺

redbullracing a motivated Max is a scary Max

y/n_stills. Boy you said it 🥵

maxverstappen1 🫣🫣🫣

landonorris ew, keep it in your pants

y/n_stills. go cry somewhere else , norris ~ we are happy here.

comments are limited

—SPORTS HUB DAILY—Formula 1 driver Charles Leclerc sparks fire within the Ferrari Garage

Article by Joseph Bens

Ferrari Driver Charles Leclerc was seen to be having a heated argument with his team, despite qualifying 2nd for the race this Sunday. The team statement was that they are happy with both of their drivers’ performances during the qualifying. According to Sainz , the car was very pliable and relatively easy to handle— and so we can rule out Leclerc having major issues with the car.

The Monegasque was reported to be unusually touchy and erratic based on fan reports as he was very adamant not to sign merchandise and interact with fans. The usually friendly driver was then seen storming off the circuit with alleged girlfriend scurrying in tow .

An inside source had tipped that an scuffle had happened between the drivers last Thursday, after the driver press conference , between Leclerc and Verstappen . The details of the fight were unknown, but it was said that Verstappen came storming out of the room — followed by Daniel Ricciardo, Oscar Piastri and a bloodied Charles Leclerc. The FIA not taking action as the incident was said to be just that, an incident and the drivers involved has refused to release a statement.

The Red Bull driver and the Ferrari driver are bringing heat on and off track! And we cannot wait for it to unfold. Tomorrow’s race would be one to watch indeed!

———

——— F1 Breaking ———

Ferrari appeals for FIA investigation towards Red Bull Racing and McLaren Racing for Impeding and possible brake checks

#f1 #formula 1 #max verstappen #red bull racing #ferrari #formula one #cl16 x reader #cl16 #cl16 imagine #cl16 x you #mv1 x reader #mv1 #charles leclerc #lando norris #op81 #f1 fic #f1 2023 #f1 imagine #scuderia ferrari #mclaren

[nothingelsematterswrites]

omg new chapter so im back at it again hi :) the only way I can describe ch 11 is satisfying!! payoff for all of oscar’s conflict over control by finding and accepting love in spite of the circumstances! i am such a sucker for the trope of loved ones knowing someone better than they know themselves so the david & oscar scene was reread many, many times. kicking squealing fainting giggling unwell about oscar immediately going to logan and being all happy n stuff. Very cute. 11/10 no critiques! if you need an excuse to drop some lore about the background characters that we won’t get to see in the fic, i am always so incredibly interested in this au

hi!!!! :D i am so glad you liked ch11 and found itt so satisfying! hopefulyl ch12 will be equally satisfying since it is The Chapter.

lore? let's do lore!

Sir Carlos and Lord Lando

They are a love match! Lando, of course, came out the season before the current one, and it just so happened that Sir Carlos was visiting from Spain. Everyone had always warned Lando that if he did not mind his manners and behave properly he'd never catch a mate during the Season - but for Sir Carlos, it was love at first sight! Carlos' family is not very wealthy, so there was a long battle over marriage settlements that nearly nixed the marriage altogether, but Lando insisted to his parents that he would not take anyone else.

At the time of Ch11 Lando is carrying their first child.

Duke Mick and Marquess Jack

This one was arranged, and while happy enough, Mick and Jack are still learning a lot about each other, as they were married pretty much the second Jack hit marriageable age. The mating was planned by Archduke Michael and Marquess Mick from Jack's birth (had Jack been an omega, he would have been mated to Duchess Gina, instead) as a means of uniting the families of these two longstanding friends. Michael and Marquess Mick met on the battlefield and were renowned as two of the greatest generals of their time; however, in a fall from a horse while Mick was young, Michael was wounded, and no-one has seen him since.

Mick is very insecure about being older than Jack, though Jack assures him it doesn't matter, and Mick had plenty of offers. Mick is carrying their first child, but is also insecure about the fact that it took him some time to get pregnant.

Duke Lewis and Lord George

I won't drop all the juiciness of their story here - that's for the prequel! But they are a love match, and while it is not uncommon for an older single alpha to arrange a marriage with a much younger omega, it is very unusual for their marriage to come about from love.

George and Oscar have been friends for a number of years, and their love has been something Oscar has aspired to have in his own life.

Prince Daniel and Master Max Verstappen (and King Christian)

I won't drop the full story here - that's for the sequel! (Yes, lord help me, I'm planning both). Lord Webber is one of King Christian's favourites largely because in Mark and Oscar he sees a reflection of his own relationship with Daniel. Daniel is a wild free spirit who didn't much fancy the idea of marriage and was indulged by his father - until he met Max...

Duke Hamilton and Lord Webber

They met fighting in France, and became firm friends after saving each others' lives several times. Lewis is one of the very few people who knows the truth about why Mark never married.

When Lewis' family started to get on his back about marrying, he and Mark considered marrying Oscar to him, to serve multiple purposes: to meet Oscar's marriage requirement, to provide heirs for Lewis, for Oscar to be mated to an alpha Mark could trust, and to combine their political power and wealth. Both felt weird about it, but thought it the best option. Then Lewis met George...

Oscar's birth family

This was asked in one of the comments, and no, Oscar's birth family won't be showing up. Why? They don't know he exists!

(CW: abuse, scoundrels, death)

Oscar's birth father is a wool merchant who deals with the great estate, and unfortunately, had a reputation as a scoundrel. He seduced one of the maids of his house and took her to his bed, lying to her with promises of marriage and a happy life. When she confronted him after her heat, however, he threw her out, not knowing she was expecting. Later, he left Greenleigh to work at another estate up north.

She went to family at first, in London, but no-one would take in an omega pregnant out of wedlock, and she wound up giving birth in a poorhouse. She was very ill after the birth and, in the hope of giving her son a better life, decided to abandon him at Greenleigh - she had heard the staff were kind there and hoped that perhaps he would be taken in by them, and maybe grow up as a footman or a stablehand.

She never knew that Oscar was adopted by Mark himself, because she sadly died not long after.

While society knows that Oscar is adopted, they don't know his origins, and indeed, he looks enough like Mark that more than a few people believe that Oscar is Mark's bastard son. (There are also rumours he is a bastard of the King, given to Mark to raise to cover up his existence. Christian, Daniel, Mark and Oscar all find this very funny.)

Oscar and Lily

Lily is the daughter of a former chambermaid in Shell House and the head gardener there. (Their love story was so romantic that even Mark got involved to bring them together.) She was born only a few months before Oscar was found, and she was often allowed to be taken into the nursery to play with him.

When she was old enough to start in service herself as the scullery maid, Mark asked the housekeeper and David to keep an eye on her and ensure she was taught everything needed to be a lady's maid, as he planned for her to be Oscar's friend and advisor. Lily was put into Oscar's service when they were sixteen, and they are fast friends, as close as society and their roles will allow.

Oscar, Mark and their instincts

A lot of people viewed Mark suspiciously when he adopted an omega pup, because they believed that an alpha could never properly raise or love an omega pup he hadn't sired, without it being weird...

But because baby Oscar had never scented anyone before - his mother had never done so - Mark's was the first scent he smelled, stored indelibly in his brain as father. His instincts recognise Mark as his father, regardless of blood, which is why he can still chirp to him like a pup, and is unaffected by Mark's cycles. (The second person Mark handed the baby to was, of course, David.)

Logan, Kyle, and Dalton

Kyle is the under-valet of the Sargeants' house, and assisted both Logan and Dalton as needed from the time Dalton turned eighteen. With Logan often overlooked or ignored by his parents, not being the one who will inherit their fortune and business, Kyle became his best friend and confidante.

Logan has a modest fortune settled on him, but Dalton will be the wealthy one. Mark's concern was not with Logan's fortune during the settlements, but to make sure that Oscar would be properly protected; nevertheless he has promised that Logan will be looked after if the marriage goes sour.

Dalton married the daughter of a wealthy steel family as was required of him, but only agreed on the condition that his parents let Logan find a love match. To say he is angry that his parents went back on their word is an understatement. He has already decided that whatever the gender of the child his wife is carrying, they will not have an arranged marriage.

#answering asks #fic: the regency au #LORE POST #a/b/o dynamics #writing #f1 fanfic #carlando #britcedes #maxiel #schoohan? doomacher? #jack/mick #loscar

[aritamargarita]

ATTITUDE || 019

HELLO MY ATTITUDIANS (i thought that name was funny).

shout out to chapter 19. gotta be one of my favorite chapters,,it’s crazy how we made it to 19 already. this also has to be one of my favorite covers so far, the girlies look so nice here. please put your seatbelts on because this chapter is JUICY you thought last chapter was crazy? oh man. this chapter will also be split btw

now i can make this joke: 19 dollar fortnite card. who wants it? and yes. im giving it away.

VENGEANCE IS HERE. This is a very big night for you. It’s something you’ve been waiting for. Just to get your hands on Torrie and finish what she started.

The camera pans up on Doctor Smiley, who’s going through some of his notes.

“I know this night is very important to you. I’m glad you came. Debra gave me a call, she’s concerned you’ve been…..on a downward spiral.”

Once the camera switches towards you, the crowd cheers.

You’re not sure what he means. You’ve never felt better. “Well, I feel fine. There’s nothing wrong, from what I know of.”

Doctor Smiley simply nods, then writes something down. It’s silent for a moment, but he looks up towards you. “Plaid?”

“What about it?”

“New, isn’t it?” He questions. “If my memory serves correctly, that seems a little off from your normal attire.” It’s not much, but the jacket you’re wearing is telling him a lot. “Well, to be more modern, it’s just not your style.”

It makes a small smile grow on your face, the thought of Raven clouding your mind. You cross your legs. “A little recommendation from a friend, that’s all. Don’t you think I look nice?”

You’re reticent. He should’ve known. He also pencils this down, not answering your other question. “Right. I’m sure. Speaking of friends…how do you feel about Torrie Wilson? It’s to my understanding you two aren’t seeing eye to eye.”

What a wonderful question.

“When I think about Torrie, all I have are negative feelings.” You say. “I feeel…like I want to give her comeuppance.”

“…Would you say you want vengeance?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

BACKSTAGE // 6:56 PM

Earlier that night, you and Torrie were going back and forth in the training center, rehearsing the match for the night. You two had a decent amount of spots, not too over the top. All you two wanted to do was to showcase your strength and hers.

Outside of a kayfabe standpoint, having a match with her made you thrilled. It reminded you of the ones you had in WCW from time to time.

It’s shaping up to be a good night. Even the other matches had you excited.

SCOTTY 2 HOTTY & ALBERT VS. CHRISTIAN AND TEST

EDGE VS. WILLIAM REGAL (INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP)

[NAME] VS. TORRIE WILSON

JEFF HARDY VS. MATT HARDY

DUDLEY BOYZ VS. KANE AND BIG SHOW (TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS)

THE UNDERTAKER VS. ROB VAN DAM (HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP)

TRISH STRATUS VS. JACQUELINE (WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP)

CHRIS JERICHO VS. THE ROCK VS. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN VS. KURT ANGLE

You plan to interfere with Matt and Jeff’s match after your own. Whether it be attacking Lita or purposely messing both men up, you’re there to cause trouble.

Truth be told, you’re going to try and fuck with everyone tonight and if anyone tries to fuck with your match, they’ve got a world full of pain coming back, tenfold.

But your match…..you’d finally show the WWF universe how happy you were. How happy that Raven finally took you under his wing, he made you his and you felt like you were apart of him.

You’ll tell the world as much as soon as you get into that ring.

Before that, Lita needed to be dealt with. You need to show her who she’s dealing with.

You want to get inside her head and most importantly, you want to worm your way inside the mind of Matt and Jeff. Those Hardy Boyz. Everyone loves them. You’d hear everyone scream for them as loud as they could whenever they’d show up.

Everyone loves Team Extreme!

You don’t.

You hate Team Extreme.

It’s clear to you that you have one brother wrapped around your finger already. The other wasn’t too easy to sway.

So before you know it, you find yourself rummaging through her suitcase like a madman. Cargo pants, crop tops…something that’ll make you look like Lita. Would fishnets top it all off?

For a moment, you considered buying a red wig so you could even mock her flaming hair. Is there enough time?

…Yes, yes there is. There’s always enough time. You’ll find a way to make it work after your match.

While you originally considered coming out to Edge’s match, you knew that wound was still fresh and you were still thinking of plans for him. It wouldn’t be fun if you did interference every match, honestly. You wanted to mix things up.

Actually, wait. It would make it even more interesting if it was fresh, wouldn’t it? Bah, you’ll think it over on the ride to the nearest costume or beauty store.

Either way, you needed to go and go quick, especially if you want your little scheme to work.

Wait! Maybe you’ll go out first. That way, no one would expect you coming out dressed as Lita later.

Yeah, that’s exactly what you’ll do! You already had something nice on, so why not just show up in all your glory? You may even help Edge win.

You just hope he’d be grateful, else, you’d have to teach him a few new things. You figure it’s good enough to make a guest appearance with the clothes you have on.

“Oooh, hey, [Name]!” Stacy’s voice comes from the door. She stands there for a moment before walking over to you with a smile. She looks nice tonight. “I’m glad you’re here. I just wanted to wish you luck tonight.”

You still feel pretty suspicious, but she’s not going out of her way to attack you or anything.

“You know, I’ve been looking for you!” She says, taking a seat on the small bench. She then focuses on zipping up one of her shoes. “Me and you have no problems! I just want you to rip her head off, okay?”

It’s nice of her to come and give you some sort of pep talk, despite how violent it sounded.

“Right. Yeah, I’ll do that.” You say, rubbing your temples.

“By the way, you look really tired, [Name]. Are you okay?” She asks. “Well, actually, how have you been? I haven’t been able to catch you backstage.”

It’s true, she hasn’t. Quite frankly you didn’t trust her at first, but she made her status clear the last time you saw her.

“I’ve been okay. I feel like myself.” It was a little true. Stacy probably doesn’t know about the Raven and Jeff situation, so you’re happy Lita kept her mouth shut, even if she didn’t know the whole thing in its entirety.

You take that back. You’re pretty sure Jeff told her…

“Alright…” Stacy gives you a smile and thankfully doesn’t press further. “When’s the next time we’re going shopping?”

“I dunno,” You shrug. “The next time I can actually see the Dutchess backstage?”

“Oh, you!” She bats her hand at you, then stands up from her spot. “I think we’re both really busy. I’m sure we’ll get around to it. There are so many things I see that remind me of you, I’m itching to dress you up!”

Of course. Her and Torrie always had a habit of putting you through rings of hell, dressing you up in what they think would fit you….

Stacy gives you a wink and you roll your eyes. She lightly hits your shoulder. “Don’t be like that. Hey, I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m sure Bubba and D’von are looking for me. I just wanted to stop by.”

“I don’t mean to hold you back. I’ll see you later then.”

“You’re fine!” She reassured. With that bright smile of hers, she’s just about to leave the room before you call out to her.

“Wait! Do you happen to have a spare robe..?”

BACKSTAGE // 7:04 PM

This may have been the worst decision in your life, and shit, you’ve made some pretty bad decisions before.

Stacy was more than happy to loan you one of her robes. You were too afraid to question why she carried it around in her suitcase. You guess she’s ready for anything, even an impromptu swimsuit contest or something.

She didn’t know what you were up to and you’d rather keep it that way.

Your next mission is to find Chris Jericho. You had already changed into your ‘gift’ and put on a robe right over it. You’re a little ashamed to be doing this, especially with the cameras now on you, but Hunter asked for you to get it done.

You’re sure it’ll be worth it in the long run. Everything will be okay, even if you feel like you’re going to scream. Thanks to the advice from some producers, you find Jericho refilling a cup of water.

Alright, time to get your game face on.

You take a deep breath and strut on over to him. “Hey there.” You hope you don’t sound too forced, you really hate talking to him.

“Ugh, it’s you again.” He doesn’t seem happy to see you. “The hell do you want this time?” If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was about to toss that cup of water on you.

“Don’t worry. I’m not here to fight or anything..” This time, you force a smile. “I actually just wanted to talk to you alone.”

“What’s there to talk about? If you think I’m dropping out of the title match, you can kick rocks.”

You try not to let his words get to you. It takes everything in your power not to reply with a snarky remark.

“Well, for starters, I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I want to make amends.” He doesn’t seem swayed, so you do your best to turn up the charm. “You know….I’ve always really, really liked you. I just didn’t know what to say.”

He raises an eyebrow, but the smirk growing on his lips tell you that you’ve got him fooled. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “Why should we fight anymore? Tonight, if you show up to my hotel room, I’ll make up for what was lost.” Almost on cue, you show him what you’re wearing under the robe and close it quickly.

God, you’re cringing so bad inside. One day you’ll look back on this segment and cry.

You give him one last smile and walk away down the hall.

The plan is in action. You’re sure Hunter will be happy you’ve done your due diligence. You’ve gotta throw some of your clothes back on now to make it for Edge’s match!

You’re so sure that he’s waiting on you. You just know him so well.

VENGEANCE // 7:15 PM

And you seem to be just in time. With the match just in its beginning, you nearly tripped on some cords as you made your way toward gorilla position.

They need to clean it up. What if you tripped and busted your head open? You wish you could submit a complaint somewhere. But then again, Mr. McMahon would probably pop a blood vessel trying to figure out who the hell did it.

The moment you step out onto stage, the crowd starts to cheer. This stage was huge. For a moment you stand up at the top, just watching the two lock up.

‘What’s [Name] doing out here?!’ JR asks.

‘Hey! Tell her to come over here!’ Jerry tries to get your attention to no avail.

JR can only shake his head. ‘I don’t think she wants to even be within 4 feet of you, King.’

The both of them really were going at it in this lockup, with Edge getting the best of Regal by shoving him into the corner. You want a closer look, so you come down the ramp.

It is only when the referee forces him off of Regal, was when you were noticed. He runs a hand through his hair, moving most of it from his face. He must’ve thought he was dreaming.

You open your arms. This was no dream. This was reality! He comes over to the ropes, staring down at you quizzically.

“I know you missed me!” You exclaim.

Edge is just about to respond but Regal comes over and smashes his forearm into his back. That was definitely your fault, but you shrug it off.

Regal was starting to take over, grabbing Edge by the hair and lifting him up. Yet again, they lock up, an aggressive show of strength from the both of them.

While they’re doing that, you skip on over to the side of the apron towards the announcer tables.

You can see Edge’s Intercontinental Championship sitting nearby, so you go ahead and grab it.

It’s a really pretty title. As are most of the WWF titles. Once you pick it up, you run your fingers along a continent, and the crowd looks at you curiously.

It’s not like you were gunning for it yet..though you wouldn’t mind if they put you in the running. Everyone seemed to like what you’re doing though.

‘You said she wouldn’t come within 4 feet of me, JR,’ King starts to say. ‘But I think you’re just jealous!’

‘She’s a nice young lady, I’ll give her that, but she’s got some sense.’ He responds.

‘If she’s got some sense, why’s she got her hands on the Intercontinental title?! Doesn’t she know it’s nearly impossible for a women to even hold it?’

‘I think you’re forgetting about someone…’

You’re too busy admiring the title to even pay attention to them and the match. Running a finger over one of the continents, it makes you notice how beautiful it was.

Then again, it seems to be a common theme with WWF titles. Whoever created the design needs some sort of raise. But not if it’s Mr. McMahon, of course.

You’re so focused on the title that you don’t even notice a baffled Edge making his way towards you.

“The hell are you doing?” He asks, lightly shaking your shoulder.

“I came to see you!” You say, a smile on your face. “Didn’t you miss me?!”

“..What?!“ You weren’t sure if he couldn’t hear you or couldn’t believe what you said. You figure it’s the former when he continues talking. “I don’t want you out here! Put the title down and go backsta—!”

Taking advantage of the situation, Regal had slid out of the ring and came over to shove Edge right into you. The both of you fall over, with Edge landing right on top of you.

It didn’t help you held the title in your hands. That fall completely knocked the wind out of you.

“That’s no way to treat a lady, now is it, you pillock?!” Regal taunts, grabbing Edge off of you and throwing him into the announcer table.

You groan in pain as you try making your way onto your knees. Now you’re angry! You finally get up to your feet and dust yourself off. You gently set the title belt onto the apron, before running over and jumping onto Regal’s back.

You can see the flashes of many cameras, but you’re too busy trying to claw his eyes out. You try to pry his hands away from his face, but he’s just not budging. You resort to try and choking him out to no avail.

‘[Name]’s jumping on the back of William Regal! What’s she doing?!’

‘Is she insane?! What’s wrong with her?!’

Edge watches this in awe. What the hell was wrong with you? He wants to pull you off and knock (figuratively, of course) some sense into you, but it seems like you’re helping him out in the long run.

You jump off of Regal’s back and allow Edge to come forward with a clothesline. That’ll teach him! They’ll probably be fighting on the outside for quite a bit.

Man, Edge knocking into you really hurt. You may have made it worse for yourself by jumping on Regal. You’re a bit sore and out of breath, leaning on the apron for leverage. It takes you a minute to recover, but when you do, you notice that Regal sends Edge flying into the ring post that’s behind you.

You quickly get the hell out of the way. That could’ve been worse…

“Watch where you’re going!!” You yell, trying to back away from the scene. And for good measure, you stick your tongue out at Regal.

Of course, he doesn’t notice, fiddling nearby the ring’s fabric skirt and shoving something into his trunks. What did he just get out of there?!

You don’t exactly want to stick your hand down there and find out…

That collision definitely left Edge out cold. Regal grabs him by the hair and throws him into the ring, a little too close by the ropes.

Once he tries to pin him, you grab his leg and set it on the rope. Thankfully, the referee didn’t see you put it there. Just in the nick of time too…

Regal gets off, glaring at you. You just smile in response. He could’ve won there..but no! You didn’t let that happen!

He tries to powerbomb Edge this time, just a little bit further from the ropes so there’s no accident like that again, and then pins him. Fortunately, Edge kicks out at two. This is really bad..

You’re not even sure if Edge can get up. The referee comes over and tries to check on him, so Regal turns away and fishes into his trunks for what he took earlier.

You can see it as clear as day! Those were brass knuckles. If he hits Edge with that, it’s night night for him! You don’t want that to happen, so you jump up onto the ring apron to catch Regal’s attention. You need to do it long enough so Edge can recover.

“Hey!” You yell. He’s a little bit of ways from you, so it’s hard to grab him…

He turns over to you curiously, then tries to ‘shoo’ you away. But then he just stops. Regal turns to look at you and crosses his arms. “Actually, I’m glad you’re up here, young lady, I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”

Now you’ve got him! You’re interested, too. What ever could it be?!

You don’t even get to ask ‘what is it?’ before he continues to speak. “You have quite the attitude problem! You don’t jump on a gentleman’s back! There are other ways to resolve your anger!”

It makes you remember that he too, was involved in Doctor Smiley’s session. Maybe you should heed his advice….?

Yeah, right! “The only way to resolve my anger is violence!” You say, jumping off of the apron. Regal waves his hand at you and turns around to be met with…A SPEAR!

Edge finally is able to get Regal down long enough to secure the win. The crowd cheers wildly as you grab his title and hold it up to him.

He takes it and you're outta there almost immediately, circling around the ring and heading up the stage ramp.

And yet again, Edge can only look at you in awe. You’re crazy, you have to be. But he can’t help but to admire you for coming to his aid.

While you blow a kiss from the ramp, he makes the motion to catch it. He’s a little starstruck.

Perhaps you haven’t burnt all your bridges after all.

VENGEANCE // 7:34 PM

You don't even have time to feel tired tonight. With your match being right before Jeff & Matt's, you feel like you're going to be on your feet all night. Perhaps you'll get a break before the Undisputed Championship match..

You’ve already changed into your ring gear, so now you’re waiting for Raven. Normally, you’d feel calm when it comes to matches, but with him being there, it just made you all the more antsy.

“You’re shaking.”

Your head immediately turns to Raven, who had walked up to you with his hands in his pockets. It took everything in you not to run and jump on him. “I’m just a little nervous.” You reply, crossing your arms.

He doesn’t say anything at first. “You’ll be fine, babe. Don’t worry about it.” The smirk that starts to play on his face tells half a story.

You’re almost thrown for a loop when he uses a pet name. You’re sure he was just testing it out, but it feels like you have butterflies in your stomach.

“By the way, I’ve been thinking.” He continues. “You and I were in WCW, yet you’ve never spared me a glance. Why?”

You think about it for a minute. Creative in WCW never really let you stray too far from what you’re doing, despite it being a little messy. “I don’t know. The writers over there didn’t even know what they’re doing. Look at the bright side though, I’m here with you now!”

You outstretch your arms. He stares at you for a moment. You almost think he won’t hug you, yet he comes over and wraps his arms around you.

“…I want you to prove your loyalty to me.” He says.

You tilt your head. “How?” Anything he asked, you’re willing to do.

Raven detaches from you and sets his hands in your shoulders. “There’s certain people you must get rid of. They pose a threat to not only myself, but our….” He trails off. You get what he means.

You don’t want anyone to get in the way of your relationship with Raven. Not now, not ever.

“The first person is Jeff Hardy. Once a contender for the Hardcore title…..turned nuisance to the WWF. Even worse, a nuisance for us, [Name].”

You just nod your head with a smile. Whatever he says, goes. Was Jeff really the problem?

Before he can continue on, someone from production comes over to you two. “You’re on, [Name]. Get out there.” Now you can hear your muffled music echoing over the arena.

Both of you were a little startled, but put your game faces on and head through that curtain. The adrenaline is running through your veins all over again once you’re met with the crowd.

The bell rings three times and Lillian is in the ring, ready to announce. “Ladies and Gentleman, this is a match set for one fall. Making her way to the ring, accompanied by Raven, [Name]!!”

You two walk out to stand on stage. Before you continue to walk down the ramp, Raven holds out his hand. You look at him in bewilderment, but it turns into a smile as you entwine your fingers with his. You’re thrilled he even let you hold it.

‘That Jezebel’s holding Raven’s hand!’ JR exclaims. ‘She seems to be just about anywhere lately. What’s going on in that head of hers?!’

‘I told ya JR, that mental hospital will be opening as soon as we kind find those scattered loose screws of hers!’ King says. ‘And let’s put Raven in there too! Ha!’

The both of you make it to the ring. You opt to take the steps as Raven climbs onto the apron and opens the ropes for you.

You feel elated. It’s a small gesture, but it means a lot to you nonetheless. Once you get in, you walk over and motion for a mic to speak.

Raven shuffles over to sit in the corner in the meanwhile.

“…All I have to say is one thing. The day I’ve walked into the WWF, everyone wanted to know about me..but I feel like everyone liked the thought of me.” You pause for a minute, trying to gather your words. “No one saw through me like Raven did. I can feel his pain and he can feel mine.”

You throw your mic to the side (giving it a tiny kick so it can reach the edge). Torrie’s music starts to play and you walk over to Raven’s corner to sit right in between his legs.

He’s actually pretty warm. It’s also a pretty comfortable spot. You turn your head over to the front as Torrie begins to make her way to the ring.

“Making her way to the ring from, Torrie Wilson!”

You have to admit, what she’s wearing is kind of cute. The color pink really suits her. Of course, you’d never say that out loud. You’re just ready to wrestle her.

Raven nudges you slightly, and with a whispered “good luck”, he moves away and gets out of the ring to spectate.

You stand up from your spot. Things are finally starting to heat up. The crowd is a little bit anxious.

On one hand, they hope you don’t punish Torrie too much. Then on the other hand, they hope you can get your revenge. If they’re lucky enough, maybe they’ll get some clothing shed!

Not! You don’t want any wardrobe malfunctions or any ripping of clothes tonight. This is supposed to be a serious match.

The bell rung again and you two walk around in circles. You two weren’t friends right now. You were sworn enemies, nothing less, nothing more. Torrie put herself in this spot, so you were going to make sure she regret it.

It hurts you more than anything to have to fight an old friend, but in order to get your message through her thick skull, you didn’t have a choice.

You don’t want to disappoint Raven. In fact, you just wanted to impress him. Show him you could do this. That you live up to whatever hype there is.

When Torrie tackled you down almost effortlessly, that was when you knew your head needed to be in the game. There definitely was animosity behind her hits, but rest assured there will be animosity behind yours too.

…You’re gonna be honest. Torrie is as green as grass. She always has been. Nothing wrong with that, it just makes it a little harder to carry her through the match. She wasn’t alone though, Stacy (although you technically haven’t wrestled her directly) seemed pretty green too.

You can’t help but to laugh. One time, Lita referred to those two as ‘the blondies’, notoriously known for being quite new and not knowing what’s going on.

She trashed them so bad that night, then told you that you’re the only one that could really wrestle. It was sweet, but you felt kinda bad she wasn’t fond of Torrie and Stacy.

You roll over her and start hitting her back, getting your quick just desserts.

Getting off, you stare at her as she sets her hand on the ropes in an effort to recover. Torrie takes a good look at you, her eyes narrowing once she sees you laughing.

Before she could fully get up, you come over to grab a fistful of blonde hair before slamming her right back to the mat. You’re not quite done with her yet. This is only the first stage of pain you’ll put her through tonight!

You saw a wrestler do this move a very long time ago, but you can’t remember their name for some reason. You put one foot on each side of her head and step on her hair, then lift her arms up.

The referee starts to yell at you to “let go” and to “watch the hair”.

You eventually let up, Torrie writhing around on the mat in pain. You come over and lift her face up. “C’mon, Torrie!“ You scream, slapping her for good measure. “That all you got?! Get up!”

You decide to force her to stand up, grabbing her and lifting her from the ground. She’s able to shove her forearm into your stomach, causing you to keel over.

Torrie really did get up. She grabs your hair and slams you down to the mat. It’s her turn to be in charge and she’s going to try and lay down the law.

She squishes your face closer to the canvas and uses your hair to roughly scrub it across. “You’re horrible!” She screamed. “Do you see what I have to do to you!? This is your fault!”

Torrie finally lets go of you so you can breathe for a second. The referee is chewing her out for this move, so she starts to argue with him. You slowly recover off of the ground, and since you don’t think you have enough time to get up, you use your foot in order to kick her in the shin.

She crashes down immediately, holding onto her shin.

While she’s down, you turn your head towards the front, Raven’s watching intently. Once you start to fully stand up, you can see him duck down for some reason.

But it wasn’t his fault. He was completely blindsided by someone with multi-colored hair. This person knocks him to the ground and starts laying into him with punches.

Oh no. No, no, no…

This can’t be happening.

‘Jeff Hardy has just attacked Raven!’ JR exclaimed. ‘What is going on here?!’

You don’t even know what to do. You grip the ropes, just about to abandon the match, but before you know it, Torrie’s had taken advantage. She rolls you up and then….one, two, three. You kicked out far too late.

No fucking way.

Did that really just happen?! Torrie can’t believe that happened either. Before she starts to celebrate her victory, you immediately tackle her to the ground to try and choke her out.

The referee has to pull you off of her, but you couldn’t care less. You’ll handle her right after you try and break up the fight THAT WAS STILL HAPPENING AT THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING.

You slide out of the ring in and run over towards them, doing your best to pull off the assailant to no avail.

“STOP IT! Stop!” You scream. You’re doing your best to get in between them….to no avail. Raven’s able to get up off the floor and starts punching Jeff back. They’re squabbling and you’re panicking.

This isn’t supposed to happen. Why did Jeff do that?! He didn’t even give poor Raven a chance to fight! At least he’s getting his hits in now..

Some referees have to come from the back and attempt to pull the men away from each other.

The rowdy crowd is looking on, cheering at the sight. One of the referees have to tell you to back away so you don’t get hit, so you do.

Aaaand you’re bleeding.

Oops, you may be mistaken. You’re pretty sure one of them is bleeding, but you can’t tell who. With the referees crowding around them, it’s hard to discern who it was. All you can see is some blood smeared on your arm and hand.

You simply walk away and reach under the ring to yank out a kendo stick. Torrie’s still sputtering in the ring, and with most of the referee’s attention on settling the two men, you come back into the ring for a little bit extra.

You absolutely fucking hated how this finished! This was growing increasingly stressful, so you had to deploy the cure.

Violence!

For now, you toss the kendo stick to the side. You get down and pull Torrie’s arm right under your leg, getting into position for a Yes Lock. But it’s not any old submission.

You take the kendo stick and pull it under her neck. She flails under you, so you try and lighten the hold just a little bit so she wouldn’t be too hurt later. You try to be nice, sometimes.

There’s so much going on inside and outside of the ring, no one even knows where to focus.

One of the referee’s finally notice what you’re doing. “Hey! HEY!!!” He yells, coming back in. He forces you to release your hold on Torrie and she continues to cough, trying to gasp for more air.

….You definitely lied. You’re not excited for tonight at all.

You’re not in a good mood anymore.

Y’ALL KNOW I HAD TO FLIP THA SCRIPTT. we originally were gonna win but i said NAHHH. jeff just fucked everything up. this is important heehee.

i need a goddamn cigarette after this. hope you guys saw a slight golden reference, golden!reader does the hair mare /pull thing lol it’s like HER MOVE

regarding jeff and raven. THIS IS INTENSE. THIS IS REALLY INTENSE. ALL IM THINKIN ABT RIGHT NOW IS A 12 POUND BAG OF SEAFOOD BOIL. SPICY. who ready for the matt vs jeff & undisputed championship match thooo??????

#wwe x reader #wwe imagine #wwe imagines #wwe attitude series #wwf imagines #wwf imagine #wwf x reader #im so mature #im so mature i got me a therapist to tell me there’s other men #2020 vision city girls winnin #coppin us both shit #BITCH WE TWINNINNNNN #— something [name] probably said to Lita idk #if you’re wondering yes. reader is dressing up as Lita #lita x reader #lita imagine #jeff hardy imagine #jeff hardy x reader #matt hardy x reader #matt hardy imagine #triple h x reader #triple h imagine #wwe edge x reader #wwe edge imagine #wwe raven imagine #wwe raven x reader #chris jericho x reader #chris jericho imagine #trish stratus x reader #trish stratus imagine

[queen-of-weird-girl-nation]

@auroraofthesun1

Diary of a teenage Christian girl

(Front page)

This diary belongs to GRACE ADAMS

I promise to pray, everyday!

Monday 1st August 2024

Dear diary:

I never use this thing, but since we’re at Bible camp I’ll have a lot of time for journaling. So here are some facts about me:

Im Grace Mercy Adams.

I have 8 siblings

I am a Pentecostal Christian

I’m 13 years old

I love Jesus more than anything. More than my own life. More than my parents. More than humanity itself. I would pull the kill switch on humanity, on myself, for Jesus

If I had to pick a way to die, I would chose to die a martyr, in the most painful way possible

I am in the choir

I play volleyball

I’m chaste and pure

I’m a good Christian girl through and through

I’m writing this on the road to Bible Camp, with Esther napping on my shoulder. Her eyelashes are… well they’re so nice when they flicker in her sleep. And so is her hair. She always complains about how boring it is, just plain brown, but I don’t know. There’s something about it… and her green eyes. She’s captivating, I know that much. But enough about Esther; I talk about her enough in this diary as is! Well she’s my best friend.

(Did best friend in purple because it’s her favourite colour, and mine is blue, so we compliment each other nicely, don’t you think diary?)

Well, I’m off to Bible Camp. It’s super far out, but that just gives me more opportunities to take pictures and appreciate the Lords creation. It’s my first time at Bible Camp, and I’m excited. My youth pastor says that I’m one of the most devoted young ladies in the church and will serve well, which is great. Our youth pastor is called Thomas and he likes to speak in a loud voice about end times. The end times are probably my greatest fear… sometimes I’ll be at home alone (which rarely ever happens, I have a lot of siblings) and I’ll be scared that everyone else got raptured and I got left behind. But that’s normal.

We’re singing songs now, go tell it on the mountain.

Go tell it on the mountains

Over the hills and everywhere

Go tell it on the mountain

That Jesus Christ is born

Youth pastor Thomas says that’s our call to evangelise and do missionary. He says that if we don’t evangelise, it’ll be on us if a lot of people go to hell. Hell and end times. Those things scare me the most I think.

I’m also scared of sin, which links back to everything, scared I’m gonna mess up. I’m slightly scared of God…,I respectfully fear the Lord. I’m not scared.

Esther is awake, so now I get to see how her green eyes hit the sunlight, it takes my breath away every single time. Esther has nice eyes. She’s looking at me writing this

‘You have nice eyes too. They’re blue. And you have nicer hair than me. Your white blonde hair makes you look like a pretty lamb’

That’s what she’s saying. She’s so seeet, and we got stuck in a loop of complimenting each other.

‘The only lamb here is the lamb of GOD!’ I said, half jokingly, half not. And we kept on singing.

Ok, we’re here! It looks really nice, gotta unpack and then move into rooms. I’m in a room with my sister Divine and Esther and Felicity Sam’s and Ruth Lampert. Good group. Gotta go unpack!

Forever the Lords,

Grace

#tw christianity #tw religion #tw evangelical #diary of a teenage Christian girl #my writing

[oleanderblume]

Ima say that Charlie's mom has Alastor's soul and he became the radio demon and gained his power in exchange for doing her bidding, based on what's been shown, souls are immortal unless sold to another sinner/demon. So my assumption is Alastor gained the souls of other overlords in order to be able to kill them, OR, he didn't kill them and is/was emmassing an army for Lilith. She seems to be left out of the story, but heaven's talk about "another uprising" makes me think that there was one previously, began by Lilith, not Lucifer.

Lucifer is an angel afterall, a fallen one, but an angel nontheless, and if his banishment to hell was punishment for his perceived transgression, and Lilith convinced him in the past to stage an uprising against heaven, it stands to reason why he wouldn't do it again with Charlie's life on the line.

My guess is Lilith started the first uprising, and that failed, prompting the exterminations to start happening, and after Charlie was born and the exterminations still persisted, Lilith probably wanted to do another uprising. But Lucifer would have been much more reluctant to do that when he has a daughter to protect.

So lilith leaves, taking Alastor to do her own planning over that 7 year gap. Then she hears about Charlie's plan, sends Alastor to protect her and the hotel, while she's still working on the next war effort.

At least...that's my guess at what's been going on.

It also makes sense why Alastor is so uniquely invested in the hotel and why he haaates Lucifer. He's the step dad of the situation lol.

Also, I just love Lucifer and his whole personality, Charlie takes after him in almost every way and its adorable lol.

The shows pacing is kind of suffering in the time scale department, i think it would have served the plot better if it were released spaced out similarly to Helluvaboss, because the binge format isn't conducive to the massive assumed time jump between episode 4 and episode 5. But that's more to do with the platform and way the episodes are being released, than the actual writing of the show.

The first 4 episodes take place over the course of 3 or 4 months, not in direct succession. And the last 2 episodes will probably take place during the last month before extermination, and then the season finale on the day of extermination. That pacing makes sense, but because of the way the episodes are released, it doesn't *feel* that way initially. Not the fault of the writers, more so the fault of Amazon's bizarre releasing schedule.

The philosophy of the show is really neat, reminescent of The Good Place. Where heaven is ridiculously underpopulated because of the archaic rules that gatekeep almost everyone out of heaven, and hell is overpopulated because the system of judgment is so off balance that it doesn't account for modern morality and extenuating circumstances. <- this is basically the same as The Good Place, but with more furries and more direct reference to Christian theology.

So far, i like it a lot, and im interested to see where it diverges from The Good Place.

I doubt Charlie is going to stay mad at Vaggie for long, for one she didn't seem particularly shaken in the first place, and Vaggie has shown her devotion to Charlie's cause from the start, her being an angel and her past of being and exterminator being a major hang up for Charlie would contradict Charlie's entire philosophy of "people are capable of change"

Also, i don't think Angel will get to heaven, in fact, i think he would get there and choose to stay in hell because hell is actually better than heaven in a lot of ways— especially if you're looking at it from the specifically Christian lense. Heaven wouldn't tolerate the things most souls would *want* as a part of their paradise, especially not by modern standards.

I honestly think that heaven will be described, as it has been thus far, as only accepting to the hyper religious zealot sorts that are deeply hypocritical— why else would Adam be there? Dude is the epitome of a red-pilled mysogynist dickwad. He likely got into heaven based solely on his kissup nature to the presiding God.

on what is considered appropriate behavior.

I think this is the general criticism the show is going for, a solid combination of critiquing the functionality of a system like heaven and hell, and a critique of the "virtues" one would be required to follow in order to get there.

Fuck, even Lucifer was taken aback by Charlie being in a queer relationship. To me that speaks a lot to the values *he* as an angel, was taught.

#hazbin hotel #silly theories #possible spoilers #thoughts #media analysis

[voidvendetta]

Welcome Home theory!

(TL;DR at end)

Here’s my theory: symbolism of apples in Welcome Home. okay so in some original concept art, Wally had crosses on the cuffs of his sleeves. (Also please remember that concept art is concept art! Anything in it is not canon unless deemed so by the creator.) But anyway, if there is some Christian influences, my mind goes to Adam and Eve. And we begin to see a lot of parallels from that alone. 

|Welcome home town = Paradise/ Garden of Eden| As an example. 

So, it was stated in an ask post that Wally does not eat apples as apples, only when they’re put into a pie or not fully visible or in it’s purest form. Often times apples are used as a representation of forbidden knowledge, as god had asked Eve not to eat the apple, but she was tempted by a snake (implied to be the devil) into biting it. 

So with this in mind, we’ll say the apple is some sort of forbidden knowledge that was kept from the puppets. Although, Wally was extremely interested in it, but never had fully consumed it. He observed it and entertained the idea, beauty, and structure of it (Painting) but never went further, perhaps in fear. He could digest it in a different form that was not in it’s whole. 

Though, it could be him trying to spread the message or idea as well. The other neighbors may serve as a Steve in this scenario.

I would compare it to the way a philosopher talks about the idea of death for example, and plays around with the idea. But if you go beyond to take in the idea of it fully, it can lead to an existential crisis and breakdown. I’m not saying that the apple is death, im using this as a comparison. We’ll get to what the apple might be in a bit.  Wally eats food….visually? Via his eyes I suppose. So if he was to “consume the apple” (knowledge) it would be like ‘seeing’ it for what it is.

Now with what the apple is, and how Wally reacts to it, I may be taking a leap here but I’m going to guess that the apple is sentience. On the website, if you go to the guest book page you can see doodles on questions, and opening the image in a new tab reveals a response. This may be implying that Wally himself is responding to them.  Which would mean that he is alive to some degree. Another leap here, but that could mean Wally is sending the letters. They were covered with brightly colored paint, and yknow, he is a painter. He also seems to be the only one responding to the audience (you) yet again, further awareness and sentience.

Going back to the comparison to philosophers, this apple (knowledge) may have drove him insane. I’ve been seeing quite a few people make fanart, edits, etc where Wally takings being a good neighbor very seriously. This could tie back into Christian themes with “Love thy Neighbor.” Maybe it’s him trying to uphold that welcome home paradise before it fell apart and was cancelled. Also, him painting apples could be him trying to spread it.  though this does raise some questions. If this really is the situation of Adam and Eve, then who is the snake and who is god? Where are the other neighbors in this situation currently? What is the house’s role in this? Um!! Wow!! I just threw my brainrot guts onto a post!! I don’t really know if it made sense or not, sorry if it didn’t and i just threw a few incoherent paragraphs with bad grammar against your face now you’re just kind of like…confused. But this is all just speculation, for all I know there may be no Christian elements at all. I wish I could source but im a bit tired. This is like…my first big theory post too. Woagh.

Disclaimer: I totally could’ve gotten some of the sources wrong, Adam and Eve or Welcome home posts. If I did please don’t be afraid to correct me!

Anyhow, I’d love to hear your thoughts, theories, and corrections.  TL;DR: Apples in welcome home could relate to Adam and Eve, Apple being forbidden knowledge that might be sentience. Wally didn’t eat apple as an apple, instead he ate it in pies and so on. He did paint it though, to maybe entertain the idea or spread the message. Wally could’ve eaten apple in pure form, consuming full knowledge. Tried to spread message more by painting more apples, or trying to uphold last of welcome home before cancellation. Wally could be the one making doodles on website and giving the restoration team letters. (Hence the colorful paint.) 

#MY BRAINROT IS SO SO SO BAD #voids voice #welcome home #welcome home ARG #theory #theory post #tw long post #has tl;dr #welcome home theory

[hauntedpearl]

Doe Doe Doe!! For the fic directors commentary: I would love to hear your insight about this collection of lines from ttwoat

The path they cut through The Son's kingdom with silver ichor remains untrodden for too long. 

Somewhere, Balthazar screams as ephemeral claws tear through his left flank, adding to the cacophony, and Castiel shifts his form, turning serpentine, weaving towards his Brother.  

'We fall fast,' he prays to Heaven, splitting his sword in two, fending off a new wave of demons. 'We cannot hold the line for much longer.'

Revelation remains scarce. 

Castiel grows restless. 

They may have been 'canon fodder' to Zachariah, but he does not intend to die in the Pit.  

He does not intend to lose this battle. 

Or his garrison.  

For all the sin it harbors, Hell still has its rules —

A claimed soul would leave unscathed, as would the one laying the claim.  

And an angel's claim can kill a star. 

Or make one.

If you feel so inclined!! Ty <3333

hellooo vinny my dear!

okay SO. this whole sequence from ttwoat was actually super fun to write. I was mostly playing, but it also took me a ridiculous amount of time because there was this vision in my head and i just wanted it to be as close to it as possible.

A whole "battle" sequence was pretty heavily inspired by the fantasy stories i've read over the years. like i know im not good in any way yet, but i LOVE a good high fantasy magic battle, and it's a part of supernatural that often gets lost in the urban fantasy americana vibe of the show. So i really just wanted to play with it here. the intention was to invoke an image that's like part epic battle part abstract creature fantasy.

which.

that was also something i was thinking about. like we don't know anything about angel or demon trueforms, beyond the fact that humans cant see them. and they in some way reflect the divinity or the evil that these beings possess right. now im not christian, and i don't really know anything about christian mythology beyond the things in pop culture tbh so i decided to play with the idea of trueforms, pulling from this piecemeal knowledge of western mythology and just stuff i know from my own culture. (it's getting long so im putting the rest under the cut oop im so sorry!!!!)

so demons are more "monstrous" looking in the traditional sense and they're these masses with no definition and theyre hunger and teeth and claw and fire and smoke.

I had a little more fun with the angel trueforms. to start off, i wanted them to just be pure energy at their core. they're basically like stars in my head. just this dense ball of light and power, that's all an angel is to me. but you can't do battle with just a ball of light, because that's too abstract to serve the purposes of this action scene. and like they can't really have human vessels because this is a corporeal battle, but it's still a realm where human bodies cannot really survive. so i figured it could be like the angels are always in a false skin, unless it's like a very dire situation. this false skin is part of them, but it helps them channel their power in a way that's easier to direct and control. so like a scene like this where cas is able to point a sword - which is also part of his grace btw - at a demon

'We fall fast,' he prays to Heaven, splitting his sword in two, fending off a new wave of demons. 'We cannot hold the line for much longer.'

v/s the scene later in the fic where he just like breathes destruction when he's shed his false skin.

The very touch of his divine light is corrosive to the children of Lucifer. It is barely a battle, this time. The wave disappears in one burst — a single, blinding pulse of his grace that echoes off the walls of Hell.

you know? like this pure grace warfare is clearly more effective but it would just straight up decimate everything around it and that's like not helpful if you have people on your side also. also even this little pulse leaves cas "winded" which is like how i wanted to show that this is like a significantly taxing thing to do also and not sustainable for like a long battle.

and because it was fun, i decided that the false skin is pretty much malleable as long as the angel is in control, and not hurt too badly. which is why cas shapeshifts throughout the battle into a form that better serves him in the scuffle with his current opponent. i don't think i was thinking much beyond look they're like so powerful what's the point if they can't do cool shit! ( this is also why there's sword splitting. i just really liked the visual of the magic grace sword splitting in two because it's just. SO COOL. and im a sucker for a sick image!!!) despite all this, the stakes are still high, because the demons are just as powerful, or even if they're less powerful, they make up for it in numbers. and that like balances things out.

from a character perspective, this scene did a lot of heavylifting for me. like it's not the best done but ttwoat is mostly just a cas character study. it's about cas' ability for kindness and love, and his impulsive behaviours and his struggle to do the right thing, his justifications for choosing his paths, the inevitable fallout because he really DOES NOT THINK IT THROUGH. and like what this turns him into in the end, because he's almost too scared to reach for the things he wants because he's learned time and time again that his wants tend to result in terrible things. in the first section, raphael protects him in some capacity. here, there's no one around to do it. he is in fact responsible for other angels also.

i didn't do a lot of research for this fic because it was really just an impulsive writing thing, so i don't know if this is how military actually did battle, and if this makes any proper sense for someone who would know the mechanics of like warfare, but in MY HEAD, i was thinking this is sort of like how it is in the movies? like the armies send in their foot soldiers and then there's the cavalry, and the king's pretty much not joining the fray unless he absolutely has to. so that's what's heaven's doing here, essentially. they know where dean's soul is, and they could probably reach it if michael and raphael like came down from the heavens, but it's demeaning to fight a small battle with lower order demons? i guess? they're just sending in these garrisons before to basically just clear a path through the mess of hell. in this fic, uriel is fully right. they *are* canon fodder. they're just here until the next wave shows up and the one after that and so on until hell is retreating and michael can come pick his prize up.

and like they don't tell the angels this because they want no doubts and full devotion and they just expect them to do what it takes. if they beat the demons, great. if they die, well. they were gonna die in the apocalypse anyway. i don't think they're abandoned, i just think heaven is disinterested in their safety or in expending more than it has to at once. which is why when cas is getting worried about the overwhelming forces in battle and he prays, there's no answer. and the thing about cas is like. he is IMPATIENT.

Revelation remains scarce.  Castiel grows restless.  They may have been 'canon fodder' to Zachariah, but he does not intend to die in the Pit.   He does not intend to lose this battle.  Or his garrison.

he doesn't take well to being out of control, and he has terrible short sight, and he'll do anything for a cause he believes in. which in this case is saving his immediate garrison. and himself. mostly. he just does not want to die. it really is as simple as that in the moment. and he's willing to do god level stupid shit to avoid that one consequence. which is very cas of him honestly.

so he decides to just be like. well. why are we here? for the human soul right? fine. i'll go get it and we can stop this! (also i generally love the idea that cas was NOT supposed to be the one to reach dean. he just, like, did. because he made a stupid harebrained choice. <3)

also again. just love the idea that humans and angels are all just like very dense little balls of energy at their core. and this energy is something that can be corrosive to hell. so his in-moment justification for like, claiming a soul -- which in this fic, my idea was like, michael was supposed to claim dean's soul because then they'll be bonded and then the human body that'll be forged for dean will accept michael even better and like when it comes down to it, he'll be reinforced because of their bond etc etc like the profound bond is very much a thing that was supposed to be manufactured between dean and michael and cas was just like no. <3 i'll take that. <3 -- is basically that it is a huge exothermic reaction. and he thinks he can create enough of a break in the battle and enough destruction in hell in general for him and his garrison to retreat, AND they would also have dean with them it's a foolproof plan!

(except for the part where he isn't supposed to do that and he might not know that michael was planning on doing it for a reason like by being told about it but he's not stupid he's just choosing to ignore it because he's crazyyyyy love and light.)

and so he's like. well. let me go get the michael sword! and he falls in love!!! <33333

PS: added the bit about his form being serpentine, and also there is a small line later in the fic about him being the first angel to be so deep in hell only after lucifer because even though i don't talk about it all that much i am always thinking about the parallels between lucifer and cas' arc and it is all FASCINATING to me like he IS a little serpentine ykwimmmmmm

ooof okay omg this got so long im so sorry but it's so fun to talk about ttwoat!! thanks so much for the ask, hope you had a little fun with it too!! <333

#doe's inbox #ttwoat #director's commentary #ask game

[gecckarts]

im fuckin ballin....and im gonna put design notes under the line bc OUGHHHHH fun outfit

design notes bc i put thought into things

-with the dress, leg slit bc while a long dress is nice, michael would love the option to book it

-both the rings and hairpin are for fun accessories reasons, but she is also at all times wondering how she can turn an outfit into a weapon

-fun fact! a lot of sleeveless dresses rely on chest area to hold it up, but michael doesnt have those so we've got the strap around the neck! this was a battle in my mind of my love for michael having a flat chest vs my love of michaels fake boobs

-the gold embroidery on the sleeves are meant to vaguely resemble wings!

-michaels hair is inspired by ballroom hair styles, mostly at the top but tragically it got covered by the mask. the bottom part is more tightly coiled and also part of my attempts to make michaels hair naturally curlier

-speaking of the mask!! fun fact!! the wing eye mask was part of michaels beta design, way back when she was actually a fucked up priest named gabriel. i, geck, thought a wing mask kicked ass, but michael would never wear that bc she doesnt want to take any pride in the purpose it serves... but if its for a fancy party she can make an exception

-the weird gold thing on the shoes/neck/mask is made the fuck up bc michael doesnt have a holy symbol...i refused to reinvent christianity and make it a cross, so instead its cross adjacent but also dagger adjacent but also kind of like a pair of scales! for fun

-and of course, back tattoo, very inspired by both things the dm had said, and art done by my friend. It's lightning in the shape of wings! y'know, to go with her whole angel/church grim deal

#art #dnd #michael morberus

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

Hello, hi, i started following your blog recently and I just wanted to that it feels so nice to see someone talk about the harm of sex work and that it’s actually exploitive and harmful WITHOUT the “purity culture filter” and with actual care towards the women.

Context: I grew up in a Christian conservative environment so I was obviously bombarded with the good ol’ “Your body belongs to your husband” and “sex is something that you give, women get pleasure from giving themself to their husband” and so on. Even at a young age I always felt that that was wrong but I didn’t have the knowledge to argue against it.

Being taught that “sex is a duty/chore” really messed me up.

I was taught why sex work was harmful and exploitative and I understood that those women needed help. But, instead of empathy or kindness towards the exploited women, the old conservative ladies would shame them, saying that “these women are stupid, they should get married and belong to their husbands instead!

So I turned to feminism. But that quickly died when the, dare I say, trend of OnlyFans and “sexual empowerment” started. It was the same things I was taught as a kid but with a “liberal filter” on it!

Liberal feminists scream that “actually, sex is just an act that you can give to someone for money” “Sex isn’t sacred or personal, it’s just work!”

And that’s when I lost hope. I felt like women would always just be their to “give sex”. Like it really was out only biological purpose. And the worst part is I genuinely started to believe that.

It wasn’t until I discovered radical feminism through the “terfs tag” (I looked it up because I was curious) and literally all the problems and questions I had about women and womanhood were answered! I started to dig deeper and I’ve never been happier, I actually found a movement where we women get to be women and actually have our biology be acknowledged and also our autonomy and so much more!

This got a little wordy but I do want to share my gratitude towards you and other RadFems out there 💕 thank you for not letting the loud people get you down, you are doing an amazing job, all of you guys. 💕 💕 💕

omg girl i love that you shared this! 🩷 and im eternally grateful for everyone who goes out of her way to tell me my posts resonate with her. it gives me so much hope.

and your personal story is very interesting! since i didnt have a very religious upbringing i dont know this side - but it makes total sense! liberal feminists fall for the madonna-whore complex without even realising it. for them its either be monogamous and save yourself for one person or have sex with random strangers who dont give a fuck about you, no inbetween. and as you say, both conservatives and liberals treat sex as a service and chore a woman does for a man! thats not fucking sex positive! sex positive feminism teaches women to discover our sexuality independent from men, through masturbation and talking about our experiences etc, and demand equal satisfaction when with men, enthusiastic consent and saying no if youre unsure or uncomfortable or dont really want to!

radblr helped me so much. i identified as gender fluid for the longest time because i felt like i didnt fit in with the girls in school and the women at work, and radblr helped me see that there is no wrong way to be a woman, that im good the way i am. it was healing. and when i was in prostitution it helped me to have this community to vent to, and now that im out it helps me to work through my experiences, and to engage with likeminded women in this society where all sides of the political spectrum try to manipluate us into serving men!

much love to you have a great day 🩷

#ask

[thesugarhole]

mismatched (and mostly shieldbreaker related) hcs i got that serve no one but me:

-amani was left handed. doesn't share that fact with anyone on the hamlet because of the heaviness of the religion (light being based of christianity and all its sub-sectors, she doesnt want further persecution). frequently points to things with her stub before catching herself and switching. Is extra dedicated in battle practice as well as learning how to write with her right hand, and the most observant people (like alhazred & barristan) figure it out as the reason eventually but dont share it with others

-amani has reasonable 'wanted' payout bounty (escaped high profile slave, murder, theft?), higher that reynauld (defector, theft), along the same monetary compensation as dismas (killed a mother and child of unknown but reasonable to assume at least well off status, again theft) but not as high as sarmenti (killed a king & his court) and possibly... baldwin (killed his own court -> persecuted by friends and family of those who planned to betray him, would have the monetary means to put a high price on his head)

-figuring out a tier list for how high everyones bountys would be could be fun. incidentally, tardif has a copy of almost everyones in his cringe little bounty belt. since he ended up staying at the hamlet* and not pursuing them further it kinda functions like a grandpas wallet full of photos of his """"loved ones"""". sometimes others ask to look at the drawn portraits and compare the likeness.

-*he stayed because of morbid curiosity of whats down there, + he can keep killing and hunting without worrying much for livelyhood if he stays + can pursue baking sidehobby

-everyone loves tardifs pancakes/flapjacks. he doesnt give any to dismas until he finishes the leather boot he so """"lovingly"""" roasted for him. says everyone had to eat a boot before they could get flapjacks (they didnt) (he just likes to see dismas in particular suffer)

-you have to trust me on this. amani has had yuri moments with all the other women in the hamlet. and when shes not having a yuri moment the absence of yuri is also yuri (jokes)

-amani has trouble trusting and getting along with other men because of her past, but it becomes easier if they have their faces covered and keep their distance. the ones she ends up getting along first and easier are sarmenti because of their shared interests (performance, murder of abusers if you must) and tardif because they can stay in comfortable silence. dismas breaks the mold by not having his (whole) face covered but always making his intentions clear and having an overall friendly atitude. reynauld breaks the mold because despite adhering to covering his face and distance keeping, he is a crusader. their acquaintanceship never goes beyond tenseness and bitter one line exchanges. (getting along with dismas doesnt change much of anything)

-for some inexplicable reason she gets along better than most with damian. (dlc buddies) (the inexplicable here is: im actually borrowing hcs from the fic 'denouncing the desert' and i like the plotline of people suspecting shes a vampire because of her developing fangs and whatnot on account of her blight powers, but damian, known vampirehunter, always rebutting it, telling others to knock it off and not hunt her down. she appreciates that and overlooks whatever else insa- sorry i mean neurodivergent shit he gets up to with his own cult like convictions in the light. it might not fit as well outside that context though)

-already said this in a different post but slapstick hijinks with paracelsus where she becomes slightly obsessed with learning from where exactly amani is generating blight to use in battle (its not as clearcut as bigby, and amani evades conversation of this as much as possible) and is always trying to get samples from her much to her chagrin. moments of closeness where amani DOES need her wounds checked out allow para to get some samples though. (and then they kiss. love wins <3)

-(this one isnt to everyones liking but thats ok) junia sometimes leaves some of her 'works' in the library of the hamlet under anonymous author. amani by chance clocked her secondary handwriting she uses for those (she was specifically looking for wlw material just in case it was actually threre) shyly asks her about it and one awkward conversation later they have a shared hobby and bond over it. shes her fanfiction diary entries beta reader where she helps changing everyones names (junias fatal flaw is that its all always rpf. sad!)(jokes) before leaving it as "anonymous author" in the libraries. swears up and down she wont find it weird, and to let her read, the shieldbreaker x others fics she wrote (junia doesnt let her because she WILL find it weird. would you tell your raunchy fanfic buddy how much her abs and biceps make you unseasonably warm? hmm.)

-expansion of the above but junias miscellaneous yaois(joke) and other tales involving the guys would make the warming-up process easier for amani because if shes ever afraid she imagines all of them in a loving embrace and it makes her snort. junias just happy she has someone else to talk to about this, as unlikely as a nsfw appreciator partner amani may seem (and then they ki-)

-audrey has taught amani how to waltz (so she has more different dance styles in her reportoire, of course). "i hope this doesnt awaken something in me" <- audrey while leading (and then t-)

-likewise with boudica, they would compare their different fighting styles and take notes on how to improve based on the others performance. (and then they. and then)

-shes quiet shes demure etc etc but amani would get silly with the ones she trusts the most if the others personality would allow it. mainly thinking sarmenti, dismas and audrey here playing a little private show of noblemen and rich people stereotypes for their own amusement

#got nothing else for now. beware #darkest dungeon #i feel weird everytime i tag text posts. but others do it and sometimes say less (not dd specifically just in general) so idk really #sugar.txt #playing darkest dungeon

[cinderellahoneymoon]

Okay yaaaaay ^_^ I'll start with alkakoid

So summary of the main story is that they're underachievers under the company starmaker and they're put into a unit together. Their goal is to make a large amount of money that's enough to get them into mdm, a big idol performance. Crazy:b kind of becomes a focus regarding plot but alkaloid are the pov pretty much.

Hiiro - Hiiro is from an Ainu hometown where his older brother Rinne is supposed to be the new chief but he runs away for good. After their dad is ill, Hiiro attempts to take Rinne back home because Hiiro was raised to agree with the majority and to serve his brother, so he doesn't know how to be the chief. Later on in the story, Rinne "disowns" him to give him freedom. Hiiro learns through the main story about how to adjust to society and what he wants to do instead of what other people say. In the process he gets along with alkaloid and considers them his close friends.

Aira - Aira's whole thing is that he loves idols and wants to be one. Throughout the main story though he feels inferior to the rest of alkaloid and thinks he's holding them down. He gets super jealous of Hiiro too because Hiiro doesn't know anything about idols compared to him but seems to be performing better than him. Ironically, Aira is supposed to have this whole thing about trying to be an average likeable boy because he's part French, but the writers decided to feel a little racist and made him very disrespectful to Hiiro sometimes along with finding Adonis intimidating and screaming when he sees him... for like no reason. If you hate him for this I don't blame you but I'll warn you AiraPs will not take kindly to that. They don't like when you address racism apparently.

Mayoi - my love!!! From what brief stuff he's told us, Mayoi has a deadly genetic disease that stopped him from going out much, so he homeschooled himself. He did attend yumenosaki, enstars' academy for idols, but he didn't attend any of the classes. I love this fact so much he lived underground. I'm not kidding. We get to see a room in his house at some point it's literally underground. We also know that his parents told him extremely terrifying stories about the Sakuma brothers, but we have literally no idea why or like any knowledge about his parents. Personality-wise, he is extremely skittish and scared of other people, and tends to hide himself in vents. He has incredibly low self esteem which causes himself to put himself down a lot of the time when he's talking to someone. He also gets intrusive thoughts about his cute looking juniors about protecting them from the world but he tries not to act on them.

Tatsumi - He has backstory that's multiple chapters worth, but a rough summary is that he attempted communism at his past academy, failed, permanently hurt his leg from an incident, and was later seen as a revolutionary. Other than that, Tatsumi is a mature and kind person, probably influenced by him being Christian. He's actually pretty lonely, so alkaloid are one of his first ever friends. Because he has no clue how to interpret that though he tries putting them into a nuclear family of sorts where he's the father figure, mayoi's the mother and hiiro and aira are the kids. I'm not saying alkaloid are a family but this a thing tatsumi does because he isn't used to having close friends.

I'll talk about crazy:b next! I'll make it a separate ask though

OHHHH I LIKE THEM ALL A LOT ACTUALLY? A FEW NOTES FROM MY READING:

omh hiiro ily.... hiiro i love your growth you are so awesome

ILL BE SO HONEST from the parts of the story i DID read before i gave up i already didnt rlly like aira but wow i think that cements it

I CAN SEE WHY YOU LIKE MAYOI intrusive thought king im sure people are never weird about that ever [/sarcasm]

COMMUNISM???!?!?!? also tatsumi christian symbolism warrior earlier i had a tatsumip in a room who only spammed the amen sticker and had the most christian costume ever i think i like tatsumi a lot

#fleurs letters #TYSM FOR TAKING THE TIME TO SEND THIS!! hearing your thoughts is really interesting and fun!

[punknicodiangelo]

Happy Valentines Day!

I'm using today to talk about my original series because I can! Also I've been tagging the characters a bit. The series is called Flowers and Forests, and the books follow the naming convention of "[a flower chosen with flower language] and [an alliterative tree]." It follows a Jewish German family during the World Wars so you can probably guess the content warnings but I'll go over them book by book. Details under the cut, as always.

Instead of the order I plan to write them or the order they were concieved, I'm going to go chronological, just to keep everything straight.

Poppies and Poplars

The only warning I can think of is war. Also any similarities to Im Western Nicht Neues are purely an accident I swear

Poppies and Poplars follows 23 year old newly wed Karl Bohmer, who is called on to fight in the trenches of the Great War right after he returns home from his mandatory military service. His regiment is optimistic that the war will be short, that the governments of Europe will get their heads of their asses. But then Germany invades France. Snow falls. The new year passes. Karl's son is born. His friends, those from home and those from the regiment, die. And they realize, the war will not end. The theme of the story is loss of innocence.

For the characters, I'm starting with Karl. He's optimistic and cheerful, almost naïve, and constantly cracks jokes, especially as things get darker and darker. He's quick to love and quicker to care, which causes trouble. Other main characters are Helmut Loritz, an stubborn and serious man, and Benedikt Rothbauer, his laid-back friend. They're in their early 40s, and went to university together. Last is Richard Holzknecht, a 20 year old Prussian man from a wealthy merchant family. He starts out as tempermental and full of himself, but has an arc about chilling out- as much as you can in the trenches.

Irises and Ivy

Xenophobia, queerphobia, and British imperialism will be discussed

Irises and Ivy is about Karl's nephew, 20 year old Welshman Friedrich Pugh. He mans the telegraph on an English Battle Ship in the second half of the war. It isn't very developed plot wise, but the characters are, and theme is going to be about guilt.

Fritz went to Naval school because he was bullied a lot as a kid. Most of it was for being effeminate, but there was also some xenophobia there, and he thought that if he could serve their country, his classmates would stop. Other than that, he's a very intelligent man, knowing many languages, and malicious compliance is his bread and butter. He often gets in trouble with higher ranking officers for this and speaking Cymreag. He works primarily with Christian Beirne, an Irishman who is incredibly anxious and draws to distract himself. They're both friends with Peter Allen, a doctor working in the ship's infirmary. He's a witty and sarcastic fella, and honestly the best way I can describe him is if Hobie Brown were a white Scottish adult. Also he's Fritz's love interest.

Wisteria and Willows

Again, this is under developed, and xenophobia is going to be even more a theme here.

Lisa Boemer was ten when the war started, 13 when her story starts. Her father is a German immigrant, and her mother is from the Dominican Republic. There was a lot of anti-German sentiment during World War I, and the original idea for this one came from my Gigi telling me about how her parents and grandparents wouldn't let her experience their culture because of their experiences during the war.

Lisa is a natural born leader. She's very creative and always has an idea. She will defend almost anyone to the death and is great at making it so that doesn't need to happen. Her main friend group includes Thomas Abrahms, who is transfemme genderfluid, an oldest child, and the straight man of the group, to use a comedy term. Polina Cahana and Vida Pasternack are both very random, Polina in a spaced out way, and Vida in an extremely hyperactive way. I'm still working on them both, to be honest.

Lisa and Friedrich's parents are both Karl's older siblings. The next few stories are about Karl's wife's niece, Ada Zingel.

Myrtle and Mapels

This starts after Kristallnacht, and going forward Nazism, fascism, antisemitism, and racism will be present.

Ada's oldest brothers, David and Model, are arrested, and the rest of her family is beaten. Three months later, they are released, and their family is determined to leave Germany for their safety. Josef, 14, and Ada, 11, are sure that if they wait things out it will get better, and because tickets are so expensive, it's agreed the two of them will stay with family friends for a while, but soon it isn't safe there, and they have to stay on the move. They soon meet Sinti grandmother and granddaughter pair Deana and Tsura, 12, and decide to stick with them.

Ada is a trans girl and comes out to Josef during this book. She's extremely curious and loves talking to people, but becomes a lot more cautious as the story goes on. She is very independent, and wants to be seen as capable of caring for herself more than anything. Josef is stubborn and idealistic, thinking the best of everyone. Tsura is a quiet observer, quick to trust, and quicker to assist. Deana is extremely worried, as she should be having to live in the woods with a bunch of kids. She's like the quintessential grandmother, and honestly that's the only way I can describe her.

Erikas and Evergreens

Deana and Josef die towards the end of M&M. Between the books, Tsura and Ada are joined by a Sorbian boy, Jurij, who ran away from his abusive father. During Erikas and Evergreens, which starts in 1940, they meet cousins Eduard Jundt and Bernhard Loritz, who are about to turn 18, while they hike across Germany to see Bernhard's friend, Margreta Rothbauer. Bernhard and Margreta are the grandchildren of Helmut and Benedikt, but that isn't important. They're also travelling with Greta's cousin, Christel Klein. From Greta's, the group plans to go to Switzerland to wait out Nazis.

Jurij is very temperamental, careless, and slow to trust, and his arc is about healing from his trauma. Also he's trans. Eduard acts wears his emotions on his sleave and has a pattern of taking drastic action, catastrophizing the bad and idolizing the good, basically. Bernhard is easily worried and usually closed off, but he hides this by being a happy-go-lucky nerd. He is very caring, and sort of takes in the younger kids. Greta is incredibly sarcastic and intelligent, but she usually hides it behind an oblivious demeanor. Christel has ADHD, POTS, and "pastel autism" as Summer would call it, very cheery and friendly. She latches onto the grumpier characters especially, and hyperfixates on medicine and botany.

Other stories that don't have enough to fit the rest of the formatting are Orchids and Oaks, which follows these kids through the rest of the war, and Cornflowers and Cedars, which has Ada, Eduard, Christel, and Tsura reuniting with their families after the war.

#writing #my writing #original story #f&f #forests and flowers

[jewishtwig]

Hey. I saw that you have Christian family. I also have Christian family. As someone who was raised “secular” (but y’know. I grew up in a Christian-dominant society so) and is currently looking into Judaism (haven’t decided whether it’s something I defo wanna pursue or not yet coz I don’t know enough about it rn but, if nothing else, I wanna learn more about my family history), I guess I’m a bit nervous about the change?

I know I’m not really anywhere near needing to worry about this yet but idk. I wanna check it I guess? Do you still celebrate holidays like xmas with family? Do you blend them to create something a bit different? Or do you not celebrate the Christian holidays (anymore? (Don’t wanna assume))?

Thank you in advance for answering :)

Hi! I feel like there’s a lot of elements here but I’m going to focus on the heart of what you’re asking.

You can still celebrate the secular parts of whatever holidays you like with your family if you want to!

My family is a mix of three (kinda 4?) different religions with unique traditions and holidays. We do all of them!

When they overlap we sometimes blend them, but we still do the traditional elements of all of them as much as possible. We’re also mindful not to have family members to do anything they aren’t comfortable with/is outside of their religion/is not appropriate for them to do (ex. I would never ask my dad to make kiddush, he would never ask me to participate in putting ashes on my forehead for Ash Wednesday, we don’t go to each other’s religious services, etc.)

We make sure everyone in included and supported as much as possible!

For our Hanukah, Christmas, Yule mashup this year we’ve done one heck of a blend. Here’s some of the things we’ve done outside of traditional activities:

- We are doing bigger-ish gifts but they are wrapped in Hanukkah-themed or winter-themed wrapping paper.

- Gifts will be opened on the 25th (last night of Chanukah, partway through Yule, and Christmas Day) but we’re really bad at not giving them early

- We’re having one big Hanuka dinner and one big Yule dinner with various traditional foods served during the rest of the holiday days. (The Christmas-celebrators are doing their own dinners in other states that we won’t be able to go to this year. One set of them don’t like to blend anyway.)

- Our cats have a little Advent Calendar, bigger Yule presents, and little presents for the eight days of Hannuka (we plan to do something similar for our children someday)

- We don’t have a tree up yet but on the 25th I’m going to set one up as a surprise while my husband is at work 😊

I love the way we do holidays. It’s weird, sure, but I love the fact that we’re celebrating both with each other and for each other. My husband learned how to properly select a kosher hanukkiah and how to play dreidel for me. Not because it means anything to him. I’m making him a Yule log cake. Not because it’s part of my religion but because it will make him happy.

This approach doesn’t work for everyone. Not even everyone in our family is on board. But we celebrate with the people who want to celebrate with us and have a great time.

I hope this way helpful! Im sorry for rambling!

#asks #<3 #jumblr #judaism #jewish posting #conversion to judaism #jewish conversion #interfaith family

[scattered-winter]

tagged by @soleadita im kissing u on the cheek like a mob boss

top 15 tv shows in no particular order !!

911 on abc (found family. whump. angst. absolute batshit insane shenanigans. jennifer love hewitt and angela bassett. ryan guzman getting blood all over him on multiple occasions. what's not to love)

gen:LOCK (season 1 only) (there is no season 2 in ba sing se) (found family and robots and cool animation and cool music and found family and coolest fucking dichotomy between hero and villain and and and)

rwby (the WORLDBUILDING. the WRITING. the CHARACTERS. the WEAPONS. GENUINELY IT GOES SOOO SO SO CRAZY.)

the bear (im not done with it yet and lack of actual real bears ASIDE. this show is so so beautiful and masterfully done. im literally obsessed)

supernatural (UNFORTUNATELY some of the episodes do kinda go hard.)

daredevil (the CINEMATOGRAPHY the DEPRESSED BLOODIED CATHOLIC BOY the INSANE WOMEN the JOHN PAESANO SOUNDTRACK truly this show is unmatched)

zoo netflix. (is it GOOD? no. but it is very fun and involves found family living on a plane solving mysteries and trying to stop the apocalypse so truly. does it even NEED to be good)

agents of shield (again i havent finished it but ouhghgoughhghh......found family.....whump.....literally this show was GAME CHANGING for me. i would not be the whump enjoyer i am today if it weren't for the scene where daisy gets shot point blank and lovingly lowered to the ground by the man who shot her. truly. also huge fan of the asian american female lead who is a complex multifaceted character. love her.)

dc's legends of tomorrow (THEEE goofysilly funtimes show of the century. queer found family superheroes who live on a time traveling spaceship and try to protect the timestream from anomalies. they are very, very bad at their job. a zombie apocalypse breaks out in the middle of the american civil war. a giant fluffy teddy bear named beebo fistfights an ancient time demon. they have to save college student barack obama from gorilla grodd. a unicorn bites one of the character's nipples off. truly the most show ever. perhaps of all time.)

kingdom (netflix) (kdrama) (GENUINELY the best zombie media i have ever seen in my life. barring train to busan maybe. the costume design is gorgeous and the camerawork is gorgeous and the characters are complex and multifaceted and the zombies are fascinating and the entire thing is a commentary on class and poverty. and it's set in medieval korea so they have to fight zombies with SWORDS)

carmen sandiego (fun characters. u learn lots of cool things about lots of cool places. found family. heists. nonexistent romance subplots so it's a HUGE win for the aros. stupid little french detective who wears a banana suit onscreen. et cetera.)

leverage (LITERALLY THE SHOW OF ALL TIME. anti capitalist. found family. heists. the government is a corrupt system that only serves the people in power. christian kane beating people up. multifaceted characters. autistic character that's actually like. presented respectfully. and realistically. alec hardison. insane people.)

avatar the last airbender/legend of korra (they KINDA WENT OFF WITH BENDING.)

arcane (the animation......the tragic sisters.......the music.....)

green lantern the animated series (the animation kinda sucks unfortuantely. however. HOWEVER. it has my boy of all time. with the character arc of all time. and learning how rage and vengeance are harmful to everyone including yourself. and how grief and rage go hand in hand and the only way to heal from it is hope. and and and and and)

leo already tagged the gc so im gonna tag @frigidboy and anyone else who wants to do it :]

#i forget every single url i have ever interacted with as soon as i get tagged in these so im SORRY <////////3 #winter speaks #tag games #watch my shows boy

[dalishthunder]

You're on a roll with Nebarra fics (and yes I've started one of my own thanks to you, pls save me)! I actually like how Garill is serving as a sort of catalyst for the angst, being all silently judgy of our relationship with Nebs but not actually saying anything yet, instead of being simply hostile and annoying right off the bat like some other Altmer would be (also the nod to our backpack was really funny for some reason, #brokenhumour). Anyway have some songs that give me Nebarra x LDB vibes!

Play With Fire – Nico Santos

X Games – Au/Ra

Blooming – Violet Orlandi

Now You're a Home – Christian Reindl, RUUTH

Ritual – AWAY, Echos

*vibrates at the speed of sound* Fic ifc fic fic fic fic fic fic!!!

In his personal quest it seems like Garill and Neb know each other pretty damn well so I like to think they're probably more friends than colleagues, so I really did my best to bring that silently judgey best friend vibe. Like trying to remind Neb of who he is, where he comes from, and trying to subtly remind him of the social stigmas surrounding this sort of union if he chooses to go through with it

Also, Im a comedy writer first and foremost (I say as though a good 70% of what i put out isn't angsty shit), but I like to think that I'm funny, and I love putting in a little bit of humor where I can :3

Also fucking loved this playlist! Esp Ritual, that vibe is very much *chefs kiss*

I;ve been listening to a lot of lindsey sterling recently ngl, and also showtunes. So here's what I'd been listening to while writing:

"Words Fail" - Dear Evan Hansen

This song specifically I listened to during the entire fight scene: https://soundcloud.com/the-mashup-wyvern/vonikk-vs-lindsey-stirling-hellfire-rival-epic-mashup

I Was an Island - Allison Weiss

You Matter to Me - Waitress the Musical

#Those are the main ones #legit though that lindsey sterling x vonikk song #can listen to it on loop for HOURS #dalish mail #i love you anon #love you so so so so so much

[orthodoxadventure]

hi! i was a follower of your other blog and just followed this one now too-- im orthodox! mind if i ask what's drawing you to orthodoxy? :)

When I was first looking into converting to Christianity while I was away at university, I did have some interest in Orthodoxy. But some of the issues that came up, were particularly to do with the 'situation' as it were of the Orthodox Church in my country and the misconceptions that arose from that. When looking at Orthodox Churches online, they primarily served immigrant communities and you would be hard pressed to find many Orthodox Churches that offered the Liturgy in English. This led to at the time, the misconceptions that 'Eastern Orthodoxy' was exactly that - something meant for Eastern Europeans. Also my small town didn't have an Orthodox Church which commutable.

As a result of that time though, I did follow a few Orthodox Christians. Some of whom I still engage with today. And over the years, I did see their viewpoints (granted at the time, a lot of them were also young Catechumens who were particularly overzealous). I mostly just put their viewpoints to the side, and didn't really engage with them. Perhaps quite unfairly. I definitely shouldn't have let them be a representative for the faith but they were the only Orthodox Christians that I had any real engagement with.

I don't want it to seem that I just went 'oh well Catholicism it is then!' but Catholicism then closely aligned with how I viewed the Mission of the Church - being something Universal and meant for all people. Catholic. Which directly conflicted with how I viewed the Orthodox Church. I also unfortunately kind of just fell into letting people that seemed particularly knowledgeable give me particular viewpoints on various theological differences between Catholicism and Orthodoxy.

While I was running my Catholic Tumblr, I began reading Saint Basil the Great, Saint John Chrysostom, and about the early Church. I can only best describe the experience I had whilst reading these particular authors and texts was the distinct sense of Orthodoxy. I felt very much like I was reading about the Orthodox Church. This was something that greatly troubled me. I loved Catholicism, and admitting to myself that there was a draw to Orthodoxy felt like I was betraying God and everyone around me.

Moving to city, there was Orthodox Churches nearby now that I could actually attend. And the draw of Orthodoxy came up once more. Only this time, it felt like people were directly speaking about the points of issues that greatly mattered to me and served as stumbling blocks before. No longer were those Orthodox Catechumens overzealous agitators for social media engagement. They were thoughtful, and very careful about how they articulated their points. I realised also that the Orthodox Churches here, were much more welcoming than I thought. Much more inclusive than I thought.

Over time, it felt like everywhere I looked there the Orthodox Church stood waiting for me to engage with it. I eventually plucked up the courage to message an Orthodox Priest about it, and he recommended me some works and encouraged me to attend Liturgy. A friend that I also dragged along a few years ago to attend an Eastern Catholic Church, now served as the first person to welcome me into the Orthodox Church and to talk about things more.

I don't know. I guess it's hard to really articulate feeling strongly drawn to something. But that's what it felt like. And it still feels like. I'm constantly being pulled back to Orthodox texts to read them more, and feeling on fire with love of God. And I realised some of the misconceptions I had about Orthodoxy were just that, misconceptions. And I've come to understand a lot of those positions even just slightly better than before