#and im clearly unlucky or something

[thestarsarebrightertonight]

Lucky Girl Syndrome!! / theodore nott x fem reader

playlist : lucky girl syndrome - illit

summary : y/n has always been just a lucky person , in her acedemics , looks , friends , family and even in her general day to day. however she wasnt so fortunate when it came to her love life...but maybe it wasnt luck chasing love away , but instead someone close to her?

y/n , slytherin reader , fluff , swearing , arguing , jealous theo, anrgy theo and reader

a/n - as an extremely unlucky person- this fic gave me inner peace LMAOO

thats that me espresso! (another theo fic)

you walked happily though the halls , narrowly missing a prank set up by the weasley twins as their failed trick of a water bucket soaked them and left you completely dry. how lucky!

"i swear there is something wrong with that girl like she has some kind of force feild!" george sighed in frustration , their 3rd prank of the week failing to actually get you.

"God has favourites georgie, he has favourites ," fred patted georges back as they both sulked away to dry their now drenched clothes.

of course you were olbivous to the whole thing! your stroll down the hallway continued , the sun hitting your face in just the right way as you reached the great hall , practically skipping to the slytherin table.

"hi guys!" you exclaimed excited as you sat down at just the right time to ignore the apple that had just come flying at your head.

hearing the apple crash to the ground you turned again , confused seeing the apple roll around on the ground.

"shit , sorry y/n i was aiming for harry but he dodged!" ron shouted apologetically across the room.

"dont worry r-" you started until you were interuppted by your best friend theo besides you, who held a cold glare at ron.

"do that again and it wont be an apple flying at your head weasley!" theodore shouted at him as ron awkwardly looked away.

"dont theo , it was an accident," you said putting a hand on his arm as he immediatly softened.

"youre too kind y/n you shouldve been in hufflepuff," pansy said with a sigh.

"green suits me more," you smiled at pansy as she giggled ,"besides i can be quite mean when i want to be."

"youre not wrong about that , you nearly broke my ribs with that bludger in quidditch!" draco complained , still not letting go of a quidditch incident from 2nd year.

"draco i really wish you would get over that , it was my first match i was nervous and thought you were on the other team," you sighed starting to eat your food.

draco grumbled in response until the whole table turned around to look at something behind you, in confusion you turned too and saw a ravenclaw boy in your year.

"hi y/n i was just wondering if maybe you would-" the boy , named david, started to speak until catching his eye on something besides you. waiting for him to carry on he instead shuddered with fear and backed away instantly , practically running back to the ravenclaw table.

"david!" you tried to call after him , but instead he walked faster , sitting himself down and avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"the fuck? what...what did i do?" you asked your friends frantically , knowing that he intended to ask you out before he suddenly stopped.

"you didnt do anything sweet y/n ," matheo started before shifting his eyes to theodore next to you, "maybe a greater force got in the way?"

confused by his choice of words you looked back at david , a look he didnt return. in frustration you held your head in your hands and groaned , "im so unlucky!"

"i wouldnt say that," blaise scoffed as the whole friendgroup nodded , knowing luck was not your lack.

"no i mean unlucky in love! david was clearly going to ask me out but just like the gryffindor from last week he couldnt even finish his scentence and ran!" you sighed , venting your anger to your friends.

"yeah well you can do much better," theodore remarked in a cold tone , his eyes still peircing where a shaking david sat. as you watched theodore stare and david cower , everything seemed to click into place.

"theodore!" you snapped at him , making him finally turn and look at you , "yknow sometimes i think that you drive them away!"

"you think!" lorenzo scoffed as pansy smacked him on the arm , quickly shutting him up.

"i havent done anything, its not my fault he ran off , what could i have done?!" theodore argued back as the rest of your friend group watched him in disbelief , knowing he drove david , the guy from gryffindor and every guy ever, away.

you scoffed ,"oh really so you didnt death stare him? he clearly looked at you before running!"

"wow i didnt know you would get so touchy about david the ravenclaw!" he said in a mocking tone as you both seethed with anger.

"read the room theodore for fucks sake! maybe i do want to go on a date , maybe i wouldve said yes! i didnt notice at first , how every guy just bolted as soon as he looked at some mysterious thing next to me , now i realise it was you probably doing a cut throat gesture!" , you ranted at theodore as draco tried to hold in his laugh.

"maybe he had an epiphany about you or something!" theodore tried to argue back , all of you knowing he couldnt really deny anything you said , it was all true.

"what- you think its me driving them away? stay out of my love life theo its none of your fucking business!" you harshly shouted your final remark before getting up from the table and stomping out of the great hall.

"there goes that mean streak i was just talking about," draco mutters , shaking his head and continuing to eat his food.

the table sat in silence for a few second before mattheo spoke up again, "you kinda deserved that."

"fuck off!" theodore snapped as he jumped up and strode after you , and out the great hall.

----

walking into your dormroom you threw your robe off of you and loosened your tie , trying to lose some of the heat from your argument.

pacing the room your thoughts were interrupted as the door burst open , theodore walking in and standing in front of you , keeping a fair distance as you stared back at him.

"what do you want now theo!! do you want to control my friendships? maybe throw a glare and a threat at enzo and draco and maybe they'll stop talking to me aswell!" you shouted at him loudly now, as venom dripped from your words.

he stepped towards you quickly , as you tried to back away- he grabbed the sides of your face delicatly.

"i want you," he said , his voice just above a whisper as your heart burst into flames , the heat dispersing itself across your cheeks.

"d-.. theo dont say thing you dont- that you know you dont mean," you said avoiding his gaze , shaking your head as your voice had dropped to an insecure mumble.

"y/n i have only ever wanted you , i glare and i threaten and i hate the boys that ask you out because i want you. i need you." he said softly , pulling your face closer to his , forcing you to hold eye contact.

"theo i-" you started as he cut you off quickly.

"please if youre going to reject me just know....know that ill tell david to ask you out , ill never do anything to intercept love for you again. i promise , just please... let me down easy.." he spoke quietly , insecurity and sadness seeping though his words.

this time it was you that softly garbbed his face and lifted his eyes to meet yours , "theo...maybe i didnt realise it until now but...i have always liked you."

his sadness faded as he looked at you with shock , his silence allowing you to continue in a lighthearted way, "maybe ive glared at a few girls too , unknowingly of course!"

you both laughed at this as he looked at you like you painted the stars into the pitch black sky , "im sorry for pushing those guys away...well not really but more like im sorry that you got sad about it"

you laughed again before allowing yourself to get lost in his eyes , the green like that of a four leaf clover- rare yet so beautiful , "maybe im not so unlucky in love afterall , it was right there in front of me the whole time."

he smiled at you with adoration before pulling you into a sweet , loving kiss. fortune was on your side today , as it brought you your luckiest pull yet , theodore nott.

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott imagine #slytherin #hogwarts #harry potter imagine #hp fanfic #lucky girl syndrome #illit #fanfic #theo #theo nott #theo nott x reader #draco malfoy #matheo riddle #lorenzo berkshire #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #weasley #x reader #x y/n #x you #x you fluff #fluff #lucky

[ifimdreaming]

can i take you home?

luke hughes x reader || angst, fluff

request: “i like the idea of her best friend going to michigan/dating a former teammate of lukes so thats how luke and reader meet! i love angst and given that its lukes rookie year/she goes to college in another state, maybe they could be friends w benefits but both have strong feelings.”

author's note: i thought this request was so so cute so i kind of took it and ran. also kinda influenced by i miss you, im sorry by gracie abrams. this is also super long but i hope the ending is worth it. let me know if i should do more parts of this!

word count: 5.0k

-

Waking up to the sound of your best friend pounding on the guest bedroom door at 7am was not exactly the best way to start your day. But since you are staying the weekend in her student house that she shares with 5 other people, there are definitely unluckier ways you could have been awoken. 

“Morning sleepy head!!! I'm so happy you're up!” your best friend Emma almost shouts as she barges in the room, after you very reluctantly told her she could come in. She immediately begins opening the curtains, and rummaging through her closet to find her outfit for the day.

In her haste she almost spills the two cups of coffee she had brought up from the kitchen as she sets them on the dresser beside the bed, her mug being almost completely empty anyway. You can tell by her enthusiasm and caffeine intake that she has been up for quite a long time before deciding to wake you up. 

You groggily roll over and face away from the wide open curtains, not ready to face the day yet and really disappointed in yourself for choosing to drive up so late last night in the first place.

Of course you were happy to be able to visit your best friend, the two of you going to different schools making it incredibly hard to spend much time together anymore. But being back here brought back so many memories of the last time you visited. Both good and bad. And to be honest, all you could think about was him. From the very moment Emma invited you, he has been on your mind nonstop. 

The way he made you feel so utterly adored when he brought you back to his room, how he spoke to you so gently and quietly the one morning when you were hungover, the time he spilled and called you ‘his’ while you were in bed together, and how much it seemed like it would last forever. It was all coming back so strongly.

“So, what are the plans for the day Little Miss Sunshine?” you sit up, reluctantly speaking your first words of the day after clearing your throat. 

“Well! First I thought we'd go get bagels for breakfast from down the street, and then I think one of us may need a quick shower before we officially start our day…” Emma says with a hand on the side of her mouth, pretending to be saying a secret as she is side-eyeing you, and you just stare at her offendedly, “Aaand we are doing something tonight so maybe we should go shopping..” she says quickly and excitedly, clearly brushing past what exactly it is that we are doing tonight.

“Alright then.” you say as you check your phone for probably the 20th time in the 10 minutes you've been awake. And you can see Emma staring at you from the corner of your eye so you decide to throw your phone to the other side of the bed, getting up and ready to go. You knew she wasn't oblivious, but you did not want to acknowledge the look she was giving you right now, and honestly it did not seem necessary to bring anything up.

Besides, this weekend isn't even about him. Dylan's surprise birthday party is tomorrow and your best friend was so excited to be planning it with your help. She hadn't done anything this extravagant for her boyfriend before and she wanted everything to be absolutely perfect.

Obviously the last thing you would want to do is ruin this weekend for her, and your stupid feelings and non-relationship are included in that.

-

The walk to the bagel shop seemed awkwardly long as you were both not acknowledging the fact that your mind is very very distracted. It wasn't intentional. But feelings and places have such strong connections and the fact that things felt so unresolved was not helping. Everywhere you are here reminds you of him.

“How's your bagel?” Emma speaks up, finally breaking the silence on your walk home, thankfully giving you an opportunity to get out of your thoughts.

“Oh it's good! Thanks! I was super hungry…” you say, trying to muster up a believable enough reason for why you've been so off today. 

You continue walking and shuffling your feet in silence and are about to return back to the house before Emma looks at you and sighs loudly.

So. Close. You are literally about to step onto the driveway of the house when she stops you. 

“Ok can we just talk about it please? Because there is no way we are going to get through this entire weekend just ignoring it.” she says, stepping in front of you and blocking any sort of way for you to get out of this conversation. 

“What are you talking about?” you say with a grumble and a sigh. Knowing she is going to get it out of you. Obviously she would.

“Luke.” Emma says deadpan, waiting for your response.

For some reason at this moment you wanted to cry just hearing his name. But you also wanted to yell. Your feelings were confusing and annoying and it upset you to even have to talk about it with someone, even though you knew you should.

“I don't know. I DON'T KNOW. I can't stop thinking about him, and everything is so confusing.” you whisper-yell at her in frustration. 

It pained you to admit that you couldn't get him off your mind. You didn't realise how much you even liked him until having to admit that.

“He visited me during christmas… I mean, he did in the fall, but this time felt different.” You continue,  “We slept together again. Everything felt like it was going so well…And now nothing.” you admit to her and wipe your face with your sleeves, angry at the tears that have fallen from your eyes. 

“Has he called?” She asks warily.

“Once? Last week. It was short… but he sounded sad. He said he misses me. And he told me he really wanted to visit me. And I've texted him since then and no response.” you look down at your feet as you speak. It really shouldn't be this embarrassing to admit. It's not like you were in a relationship with him anyway.

“He's going to be here...tomorrow? I didn't know if you knew..” Emma says as she grabs your arm and slowly brings you close to her as you begin walking inside together and you nod your head in her direction.

You knew he would be here. Dylan is one of his best friends, obviously he isnt going to miss his 21st birthday. But with how things were currently going, it honestly made you wonder if Luke would even want you here. And what do his friends even know about you two? Has Luke said anything? So many questions are going through your head that it is almost making you dizzy.

-

The rest of the day is so much lighter after your earlier conversation. Emma is exponentially good at cheering people up, and maybe even to a fault, will always be on your side no matter what. But you appreciated it regardless.

You are currently finishing up putting on your makeup and getting ready to go out tonight, still very unaware of what the plan even is. But you didn't have much of a choice in the matter as Emma has picked out every aspect of your outfit tonight - down to the shoes, makeup, and jewellery.

Suddenly Emma gets a call from Dylan and runs into her bathroom to answer the phone, the music cutting out that was playing from her phone as she heads off, and silence filling the room.

You weren't intending to be eavesdropping, but you are able to hear muffled voices from the other side of the door and very hushed arguing that you couldn't quite make out. Making you curious as to what could possibly be going on tonight.

Emma saunters back into the room with hesitancy, her expression is scared and concerned at the same time as she is approaching you almost in slow-motion, saying nothing.

“What is it? Just spit it out.” you say, already knowing you are either about to hear the worst news of all time or the worst news of all time.

“Ok surprise! We're going out for sushi! Yay!” Emma says, obviously starting with the good news and you stay silent.

“And…Luke is coming out with us.” she continues, flinching at her own words as she plops herself on the bed across from you. You sit at her desk, makeup in hand, and cannot help but have an absolutely astonished look on your face. 

Nothing is able to even leave your mouth as her words run through your mind again and again.

“I am so SO sorry.” She starts. “One of the guys accidentally told Dylan that Luke is in town and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise for tomorrow, so I told Dylan that Luke and I were trying to surprise him tonight for dinner. I didn't know what else to say. It was literally the first thing that came to my mind. I'm so sorry.” she continues, worried she has done irreparable damage on your friendship.

“You can kill me now.” Emma blurts out defeatedly, wanting to keep the surprise for tomorrow and not wanting all her efforts to be ruined the day before the party.

Obviously you love that girl, but very much did want to kill her in this moment.

“Does Luke know I'm going to be there?” you ask, brushing past everything else she has said.

“Dylan said he would tell him, yeah, but if you don't want to come please don't feel like you have to.” she says with a small smile, hoping you have some-what forgiven her.

“No, I'll still come.” you say quietly but matter-of-factly.

If Luke knew you were coming, it would be weird if you decided to stay home now because of it, and besides, what would you do here alone? Thinking of what he would be doing and wishing you could read his mind is all you can think of.

“OH? This is good! Ok! Dylan said he is picking us up in 20 minutes!” Emma states, suddenly very excitedly, hoping it will cheer you up to see that she is excited. And as you continue getting ready, nervous energy and anticipation fill your body.

- 

Dylan shows up right on time, unfortunately for you, not giving you any extra time to sit and wallow in your feelings.

It was inevitable that you would be seeing Luke this weekend, but this quickly and under these conditions was not exactly ideal. You were hoping to at least be able to have a one-on-one conversation with him before being thrown into random get togethers where things have no chance but to be awkward.

The drive to dinner is surprisingly happy. Dylan seems so excited to be seeing his best friend again. He can't stop talking about the last time they saw each other and how long it has been. And Emma's laughter and giddy energy is helping you calm down and distract you just a little bit.

“The reservation is for 7pm so we might have to wait in the car for a few minutes.” Emma says, checking her phone as Dylan pulls up to the restaurant a bit early. 

The dim lighting and intimate booths look extremely inviting as you peer inside the windows of the restaurant from the parking lot. You can't help but get distracted by watching people inside as Emma and Dylan talk from the front seats of the car and are cutely chatting to each other quietly.

“There's my boy!” Dylan yells out as he jumps out of the driver's seat, running up to give Luke a hug across the parking lot.

“Ready?” Emma looks back and asks you, reassuringly placing her hand on your knee and rubbing her thumb up and down a few times.

“Guess so…” you say with a fake smile as you grab your purse from beside you, and as you are about to leave the car, you see a tall figure standing right outside your door.

Only a little bit startled, you look up to see Luke as he opens your door for you and greets you with a tired smile. He is dressed nicely in black pants and a cream cable knit sweater, his hair curly and tousled up like always. 

As you step out of the car he brings you into a tight hug, like he just couldn't wait to hold you again.

“I missed you…” Luke whispers so quietly into your ear that you almost couldn't hear him. He swiftly leaves a gentle kiss to the side of your head as he brings his hands just a bit lower down your back, “I’m sorry” he says quietly as he releases you.

As much as you want to reciprocate, you are so caught off guard by his words that you just stare up at him without a word.

“Alright let's go! I'm so hungry!” Dylan says, unaware of the tension, as he pats Luke's back and wraps an arm around him, walking in front of you and Emma and into the restaurant. 

Emma is glancing at you as you walk together, waiting to hear from you what Luke said, but you decide to ignore it with a shrug and she looks away. 

-

Dinner is filled with laughter and catching up with one another. Surprisingly it wasn't even half as awkward as you built it up to be. Dylan chatting away with Luke as you and Emma giggle across from each other about all the drama at your respective schools. 

Having a couple of drinks throughout the night was definitely helping, but regardless of that, you felt good. Really good.

“Luke, how's the love life going for you? You got a girl in Jersey?” Dylan asks with a laugh as Emma had just bragged about her and Dylan going on 2 years of being together.

She shoots you a regretful look as she hits Dylan's side with her elbow, not as discreetly as she probably wanted to, and your face turns bright red.

Luke looks down at his lap and shakes his head with a chuckle, seemingly avoiding eye contact with you at all costs.

“No man, no girl in jersey.” Luke says lightly as he takes a drink of his beer before the two of you make eye contact and he glances down to your fidgety hands that are in your lap. 

“My bad, my bad…” Dylan says with a laugh as he clears his throat and starts back to finishing the food on his plate, Emma quietly shushing her clueless boyfriend beside her.

Your nervous hands continue to pick at your cuticles and you look over to see Luke inching his hand closer beside yours on the booth bench. Looking up from your lap, you see him glancing back at you as he waits for your reaction before discreetly taking your hand in his under the table.

The feeling of his hand in yours is so comforting and familiar and immediately eases your anxiousness. But you still feel so conflicted.

Luke always knew how to comfort you and distract you from your thoughts when they were out of control. Especially during busy school semesters and many nights spent together with him keeping you company while you anxiously wrote papers and prepped for exams. 

He seemed to be there for you when it felt like you had no one else. At least that's how it used to feel. Now things feel so complicated. Not knowing the status of your relationship surprisingly taking a much larger toll on your ability to act like friends than you would have ever thought.

“So! I've got the bill tonight guys. Happy birthday Dyl!” Emma blurts out as the waiter approaches the table, she leans over to give her boyfriend a loving kiss, comfortably filling the awkward silence that had just taken over the table not long before.

“Thank you baby! And hey! thanks guys for coming out tonight too.” Dylan smiles at the both of you as he lifts up his glass for a toast. You all clink your glasses, wishing him happy birthdays that follow big swigs of your almost empty alcoholic beverages.

Walking out of the restaurant, your mind fills with running thoughts. You wish you had spoken to Luke more tonight but it was hard to not make anything obvious. He seemed good, but still weirdly sad and you wanted to talk to him about it so badly. You wanted to talk to him about everything.

As you near Dylan's car you feel Luke's hand brush against yours and lightly hold your wrist, turning you around to face him.

“Can I take you home?” Luke shyly asks you as you all stand in the parking lot together. You mutter a “sure” under your breath with a nod, and he looks to Dylan and Emma for confirmation, both of them nodding in agreement before bringing you into tight hugs and saying goodbyes.

“Tell me everything that happens girly.” Emma runs back over to you and whispers into your ear as she hugs you goodbye once more, and all you can do is let out a small laugh in response to her teenage-esque behaviour.

-

After Dylan and Emma drive away, the short walk over to Luke’s car suddenly seems agonisingly long and your heart is racing in anticipation. Over anything else that happens tonight, you really wanted clarity. But of course, thoughts of the worst possible outcome ever sneak their way into your mind.

Luke opens the passenger side door for you and you climb into his car before he gently closes the door and walks to the other side. As he gets in, he begins to start the car before he looks over to you and pauses, the quiet becoming almost painful. 

You didn't know what to say, and you didn't want to say the wrong thing. So, waiting for him to break the silence seemed to be your best bet.

“I know I should have thought of something to say…” He starts, and shuffles in his seat, slightly bending his right leg so he is facing you a little more.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stopped responding to you.” Luke continues, and you almost want to roll your eyes at his apology. It was so hard to be understanding when this felt like such a preventable situation on his part.

But you knew Luke. You knew when he was scared he got distant. You knew he was pulling back from you. You just didnt know why.

“Things have been so…weird…lately, and I just…I know I fucked up.” He confesses.

You didn't want to be reading between the lines anymore. You just wanted him to be honest with you about what he wants, and it frustrated you that he was being so vague.

“Luke, what do you want? Like, from me?” you ask innocently, but squint your eyes closed tightly as the words coming out of your mouth sound completely different from what you intended.

“Like, you told me we were friends. And obviously I was ok with that. But when you would visit me, we’d sleep together. And when you left it was like. I don't know…” you look down and pick at your fingers as you speak, looking up at him feeling like an almost impossible task.

“You told me you wanted to be friends.” Luke states, and gently grabs your hand. He holds it in his to stop you from destroying your fingers as you speak, which causes you to look up at him, thanking him silently, as he waits on your response.

“I said that because I knew how hard it would be for us to be so far away from each other.” you say strongly, feeling the sudden need to defend yourself.

“You know how important school is to me, and I know how important your career is to you. I don't want to distract you from what's important to you. I don't want to be the one that gets in the way of things, or be the reason why you're not as focused as you could be…as much as I want to be-” you begin to confess, but are quickly cut off.

“It's kinda too late for that…” Luke says with a chuckle as he tilts his head back against the headrest of his seat and looks out the front window, frustration still evidently seen on his face.

“What do you mean??” you ask, hoping he will elaborate a little more than he has been so far.

“You already distract me. I can't stop thinking about you. And it's obvious. In my game and everything too. Even Jack has noticed and he keeps asking me about you and I don't even know what to say. I can't shut him up. Cuz how am I supposed to tell him how I feel when I can't even tell you? Its actually really fuckin annoying.” he laughs as he explains, still looking ahead out the window instead of at you. 

Luke has always sought to use humour and jokes in difficult situations, especially when it comes to his own feelings. He's clearly frustrated at himself and it hurts you to see him having such a hard time expressing himself.

“So why have you been so distant lately?! I’ve been really worried about you.” you say, suddenly feeling more confident in confronting him as he opens up to you.

“Cuz im scared im gonna fuck things up even more than I already have…” he says honestly as he turns his head to look at you again.

“I knew I should've said something from the moment we slept together the first time. I feel like I fucked up by keeping my mouth shut. It's been ruining my life to not just be honest with you.” he adds with a growl deep in his voice, anger at himself seeping through his words.

As he continues, you can't help but feel entranced by him in his current state, and suddenly you are very aware of how late at night it is becoming. 

“It's my fault...” Luke says, and you desperately try to focus on his words and not his body. 

But you can't help but think about how good his hands would feel on your body and how badly you want him to kiss you right here and now. You didn't care that you were still in the parking lot of a sushi restaurant. You didn't care that things were still so confusing and that this probably wasn't exactly the most ideal time to be feeling this way. You just felt like you needed him so badly.

“I've been treating you like shit lately. Regardless of us sleeping together, that should not change how I treat you. I've been a shitty friend to you, and I'm really really sorry.” he continues, and you are brought out of your trance. 

His words hit you so hard. You both unknowingly made this relationship so complicated and weren't even aware of it. You knew Luke was not perfect, but for some reason you expected him to be able to read your mind, and vice versa. Even after being the one to say you should stay friends, you were silently upset that nothing was happening in the way you wanted.

“Luke, it's ok. Both of us have not been entirely honest with each other lately and it's made everything so… fucked up. We’re just… in a weird spot.” you say, hoping your words make any sense considering you zoned out for half of his apology.

“Can I just say that I want to be able to fix this?” Luke says as he places his hand on your thigh, his fingers mindlessly getting higher and higher as he rubs slowly back and forth. Trying his best to soothe you and unknowingly turning you on even more.

“It isn't just on you to fix.” you say as you place your hand softly over his, stopping his movement on your leg as to not let it overly distract you.

“Yes it is. I let you down. I fucked up by being so fucking…distant. I should've been more clear about what I want…that I want you..” Luke admits, giving into what he has wanted to say from the moment you got into the car together.

His eyes are fixed on yours and it makes your heart flutter in your chest. Hearing him so confidently confess how he is feeling after so long is such a relief. It makes you want to just tell him you love him right here and now.

“I know things are complicated…but, I really don't want to not have you in my life…” Luke adds as tears begin to well in his eyes, catching you both off guard.

“Oh Lukey.” you whisper as you hold his face in your hands, your heart melting at the sight of him. 

Luke places his hands on your wrists, pulling them away from his face as he finally leans into you. 

His lips hit yours with an intensity that you have never felt before from him. His hands move away from yours, and to the base of your neck, gently pulling you closer into him as he deepens the kiss. 

Your eyes are glued shut as you are entranced by his lips finally being connected with yours as his tongue dances around in your mouth. 

Needing to have your hands on him, you reach up to brush his face with your thumbs and then begin gently tugging at the curls at the nape of his neck, causing him to lustfully groan deep into your mouth. Your mind is filled with excitement and intensity as the moment grows in mutual desire.

“I needed you baby.” You say rushedly, disconnecting with him for only a moment.

Luke smiles against your lips as you connect again, and he places his left hand on your hip, massaging his fingers into your side. You lift yourself lightly onto the centre-console, desperate to be as close to him as you can get, and he lowers his hand just below your ass to help support you.

Although being in the close quarters of Luke's car while having such a monumental conversation about your relationship was not quite ideal, you were so thankful for it at this moment.

“I needed you too.” Luke says after coming up for air, and you just stare at him with a dizzy smile, your head reeling with arousal.

He pecks your lips a few times before lowering his head to your collarbone, gently kissing your neck and leaving red marks where he most definitely has before.

Your giggles fill the car as he continues expeditiously exploring your body, wanting to savour every moment of your presence and relishing in the way he is pleasing you.

Luke looks up at you with a smile before his eyebrows furrow and he is distracted by something behind you, causing you to whip your head around to look out your window, immensely alarmed at his expression. 

Luke lightly lets go of you, allowing you to sit properly in your seat and as your eyes focus on the window, the sight of a kind-looking restaurant hostess tapping on the glass outside of your door almost sends you reeling into a panic. 

Luke quickly reassures you with a laugh, placing his hand on your arm and starting the car before beginning to roll your window down for them to speak.

“I am so sorry if I startled you, but our restaurant has closed, which means we can no longer allow you to park here, as free parking ends at midnight.” the hostess explains politely while pointing to the sign posted on the brick wall just in front of Luke's car. 

“Thanks Ma’am. We’re so s-sorry.” Luke pauses to hide his face, clearly hiding that he is about to break into laughter.

“We’ll leave right aw-” Luke laughs out, hardly able to finish his sentence before being sent into a fit of silent laughter.

“We’re so sorry. Have a good night!” you say more seriously, trying to make up for the completely unserious boy beside you.

“Goodnight guys!” the hostess says as she walks away, leaving you completely embarrassed and also scared half to death.

Luke continues dying of laughter and is hunched over the steering wheel as you punch his arm repeatedly to get his attention.

“That was awful! Why are you laughing so hard!” you say unimpressed, but still unable to hold back laughter of your own after seeing him look up at you with tears in his eyes.

“Fuck. I can't get over your face.” Luke says as he begins to come down a little, wiping the tears from his eyes. You just shake your head and begin to buckle your seatbelt, not taking any chances of having to be asked to leave once more.

“Fuck.” he says once more with a sigh, relaxing in his seat and looking over to you with a genuine smile before patting your thigh reassuringly.

You look to Luke expectantly and he stares back at you with a smirk before kissing your lips passionately, catching you off guard. 

Your hands are drawn to his face as he nudges your chin with his, causing you to lean into him even further before he pulls away from you abruptly.

“Can I take you home?” Luke asks with lust in eyes as he brushes his thumb across your cheek, admiring every single feature on your face. His words having a different meaning to both of you than they have previously tonight.

“For real this time?? Because you know we cant sit in this parking lot any longer…” you say jokingly as Luke rolls his eyes at you and begins to put his seatbelt on.

“Yes, for real this time.” He retorts. His right hand eagerly finding yours as he interlocks your fingers with his, bringing your hand up to his lips to place a tender kiss before finally driving off.

-

-

#devils lb #nj devils #nhl #luke hughes #new jersey devils #jack hughes #hockey blurb #hockey imagine #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes fic #luke hughes fluff #luke hughes angst #luke hughes imagine #nhl blurb

[crackedpumpkin]

𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝟎𝟏 |

a/n: about fucking time lol im so exhausted. hope yall enjoy <3

Warnings: Contains cursing

AU Inspo: Soulmates can hear each other listening to music. The further the distance, the softer the music. The closer, the louder until they find each other.

| [ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ] | [ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ] |

— — — — — — — — — — 

“Soulmates are essential to survive. There is nothing like the sensation of meeting each other for the first time, and subsequently knowing that you’re fated to be with each other forever. Through thick and thin, they'll always have your back.”

You snort. Miss Grenadine lifts her brow into a delicate arch, her unamused expression remaining the same as you cover your mouth, trying to fake a cough. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class on your last day?”

People around you start to snigger, and you can feel the glances poking your skin like tiny mosquitoes buzzing all over. “Not really.”

“No, no. Please, enlighten me as to what exactly you find so amusing about soulmates.”

“Maybe it’s because she hasn’t found hers yet?” Another classmate suggests. You turn around to see Henry smirking, high-fiving the rest of his friends who’re evidently entertained by his jab.

You roll your eyes, letting a huff slip past your lips. “And you keep arguing with yours, no wonder I’m not jealous that I don’t have one yet.” His friends suck in a sharp breath between their teeth in a hiss, glancing warily between you both. 

“Thank you for your input, Henry. But I asked your classmate, not you.” He’s silenced from uttering another word under Ms Grenaline’s sharp gaze, wilting into his seat with a muttered retort under his breath. 

You turn your attention back to your teacher who’s waiting patiently, hands folded over her stomach in a motherly manner. But you know better. This is fake sympathy, flaky pity in her eyes as she thinks to herself how unlucky you are for not having yet met your soulmate. 

You get it. You’re an anomaly. It’s ‘not normal’ for people to not yet meet their soulmates by the time they’re 18. One way or another, the universe always finds a way to pull two people together by the age of 16. Yet, you’re the exception. 

“I just think the whole music thing is annoying. I mean, do you all not get annoyed? What if you hate metal, but they love it? Even then, it’s just insane how much our lives border on needing someone. Why not just travel alone? Enjoy life?” You lean back in your seat, crossing your arms defiantly as Ms Grenaline’s eyes widen with every word.

You watch her take a moment to compose herself, plastering a smile on her face as she comes up with the right words to say. Honestly, you couldn’t care less what she wanted to say to you; it’s your last day here anyway. 

“Well,” She pauses, clearly struggling on how to phrase her words in a way that wouldn’t get you to retort once again, “It’s…a very difficult process to describe in words. I understand where you’re coming from with the music aspect, but over time just like how one day you can wake up and decide that you like the colour purple, you’ll experience something similar.”

“You’re right.” You nod. She’s momentarily taken aback by your agreeable response, only to frown when you continue speaking. “It is a difficult process to put in words. And you know what? Maybe not everyone needs a soulmate.” You flash her a toothy smile just as the bell rings, grabbing your bag and starting for the door. “Been good, Ms G.”

You don’t turn to see her reaction, focused on getting to the diner on Sixth Street where you’d promised to meet up for one last meal with your friends before you moved to Ninjago City. Putting the earbuds into your ears makes you wince, shaking your head slightly as the familiar yet nauseating sound of jazz plays faintly in the back of your mind. 

Stupid jazz, stupid music, stupid soulmate.

Right. Your soulmate. You still haven’t told anyone this, but a few months ago, you began to hear the faint sounds of smooth jazz play now and then in your head. You thought you were just going crazy at first, but upon further observation, you concluded that there could only be one cause: Your soulmate was nearby. 

But for some annoying reason, your soulmate loves jazz with a passion. it was always either that or soft rock. Plus, they’re always annoyingly far enough to not have it impounded into your head, but still close enough to have it constantly on repeat in your head. 

The day it first started, you had just finished watching a horror movie and were about to go to bed. However, your soulmate had decided that 5 AM was the perfect time to start listening to soft rock. The sharp twangs of an electric guitar and the steady beats of the drums were enough to keep you up instead of getting your beauty sleep. 

lil binder [ 02:00 PM ]: u otw yet? 

You grin at the message on your screen, typing out a reply to your friend, Melody, as pop music blasts away through your earbuds and effectively drowning out the beginnings of a saxophone.

smartie pebble [ 02:00 PM ]: yea be there in 7

Melody was just one of many of your friends. She had found her soulmate at the tender age of 15, accidentally spilling ice cream on him because she had been too distracted talking to you. Having bore witness to the entire ‘love-at-first-sight’ moment between them, you scooched away as she proceeded to forget about your entire existence in the next hour.

However, now Luke and her were inseparable, and wherever she was, he was bound to be there too. Luckily though, you had bonded with him over your mutual love of cooking, with Melody constantly being on the receiving end of many of your competitive inventions. 

“Yo, it’s the one and only rockstar of our generation!” Luke crows as you enter the diner, and you instinctively stick up your middle finger at him. He grins, slinging an arm over your shoulder as you set down your bag in the booth seats. 

“About time you got here.” Brendan greets, subtly nudging Nico who glances up from his game for a moment to say a quick ‘hi’. The former is in his uniform as usual, while Nico decided to change out of his, relaxed vest and tapered pants his go-to outfit.

“You’ll never guess what happened today.” Nico arches an eyebrow, though his gaze is focused solely on the rhythm game on his screen.

“Let me guess, you got into another argument about soulmates again.” You look up to see Melody arrive at the table with a large tray of food, tucking away the strings of the apron around her waist. “When will you learn that it’s inevitable?” She sighs, pinching the skin between her eyes and shaking her head in disapproval. 

“Maybe it’s because she’s around us too much,” Luke pouts, snaking his arm around her waist. She grins, ruffling the top of his head. 

“Please, for the love of the First Spinjitzu Master, make it stop,” You groan, pretending to gag and narrowly dodging the packet of chilli she throws in your direction. Picking it up, you tear it open and squeeze out the sauce, dipping the fries into it and eating them with relish.

“So, what’d Ms Grenaline say this time?” Luke focuses his attention on you, letting go of Melody who slides into the seat next to him. Nico steals a fry, munching away even though his meal is right in front of him. He even put away his phone, eagerly waiting to hear what new fight you’d gotten into today.

“She just said some shit about soulmates being essential to survive. Y’know, the usual mumbo jumbo.” You shrug, unwrapping the double cheeseburger and taking a bite. 

“Sounds about right to me.” Melody raises her hands in surrender once you glare at her. “But hey, who am I to judge? Definitely not because I have a soulmate, and definitely not because he’s right next to me.”

“You’re so right.” She rolls her eyes at your automatic reply, barely audible through the massive chunk of pickle in your mouth. 

“I know your family’s kinda complicated, but it doesn’t have to affect your outlook on soulmates forever. Besides, aren’t you moving to the city for your stepmom? That’s kinda progress.” Brenden volunteers his opinion, sipping away at his diet coke. “Don’t you glare at me young lady, you know perfectly well why you’re going. You like her.” 

“As if,” you scoff, forcing down the last bite of lettuce and crumpling the empty wrapper. Melody doesn’t blink an eye at how fast you’ve consumed the burger, already having seen it for at least 6 years.

“She got you the signed copy of Black Beauty, remember?” Nico says quietly, tilting his head. “And besides, you haven’t fought with her in a long while.” 

You bite back a retort, hating how right he is. It’s been at least three months since you’d gotten in a fight with your stepmother - the longest duration so far. “Look, she can try to bribe me all she wants, but I’m going to quickly get through school and move out so I can travel away from her.”

“Mmhm. You’d have a good chance, considering that you got into Business Relations at Ninjago University, so…” Your friends go quiet at the mention, as if just realising that you’re leaving tomorrow morning.

“I’ll be back for summer vacation anyway,” you casually state, finishing off the fries with a satisfied grin. “With autographs from those ninjas you’re always raving about.”

“You promise? I’ll cut off your pinkie finger if it doesn’t come true. You know a pinky promise is legally binding.” Melody warns. 

“I don’t know how you put up with her.” Luke shrugs as you turn to him, amusement in his eyes as he glances at Melody who’s still glaring at you. 

“River time?” Brenden suggests, trying to lighten the mood. Melody nods, turning to face the kitchen staff behind the counter a short distance away. 

“Hilda, I’m heading out!” She calls out, untying the apron and draping it on the seat as everyone leaves the booth. 

“Fuck off!”

“Will do!” Melody grins slyly, gesturing to the exit. “Let’s bounce before she realises I didn’t clear the tables.”

“Love you too Hilda!” You shout back to the grumpy old lady with a fond smile, waving goodbye as you leave. 

“River time! River time! River time!” You join in on their chanting, laughing without a care in the world - and ignoring the faint sounds of guitars and saxophones playing in the back of your mind.

— — — — — 

The truth of the matter is, picnics by the river are among the top few activities you’d willingly leave the house for. After having a few drinks and getting up to a couple of shenanigans, your friends dropped you off at your place with tearful goodbyes.

Nico had refused to let go of your arm, citing ‘who would I hug when you’re gone?’ as the reason why. He had let go after you promised to hug him all he wanted when you came back. It was also then that you vowed to never let him drink again.

After showering and emerging from the steam with a clearer (and significantly less tipsy) mind, you make your way to the comfort of your futon, avoiding stubbing your toe on the luggage near the door. The moving company had already taken most of your stuff, and all that you have to your name now is a singular suitcase, a sling bag, and your futon. 

You wriggle under the blanket, staring up at the ceiling and feeling the tiredness finally hit you with full force as your eyelids slowly close. The warmth draws you to sleep, dreams calling your name and reckoning for you to come into their embrace. 

Unfortunately, your soulmate doesn’t like to sleep at 1 AM. Soft rock starts playing, and you press your face against the pillow to muffle your annoyed groan. You press the pillow on top of your face, wishing desperately for the music to stop, though you know it’d do nothing to help. Forcing your eyes shut and thinking of anything else to drown out the noise is the go-to method for you, and hopefully, it’ll work this time as well.

Stupid jazz, stupid music. 

Stupid soulmate.

— — — — — 

A quick Google search in the morning while you brush your teeth reveals a plethora of cafes in Ninjago City, all ready for you to explore. Accidentally clicking on a notification, however, brings you to a separate page where the headline of a news article practically screams at you.

‘Famous Author to make an appearance at Ninjago Museum Fundraiser! All proceeds from the auction are to be donated to preserve local history.

The bestselling author who goes by her pen name of Hanla will be making an appearance at the Ninjago Museum’s Fundraiser occurring next week. Locally curated pieces of artwork and a book of poems written by Hamla herself will be auctioned off. Hamla has also stated that 100% of all proceeds made in her name will be going toward the local conservation of Ninjago’s history. For all fans of her works - You, Me, and the Beat, Beauty and her Phone, and critically acclaimed bestseller Honey, Where Are My Pants?, be sure to stop by for an autographing session that Hamla will be attending! Our local heroes - the Ninja, will also be attending the session, so make sure to get your photos taken with them!’

 “Are you ready yet? We gotta leave in an hour, Munchkin.” Your father calls out from downstairs. You pause to spit out the toothpaste in your mouth, gargling the residue and letting the menthol sting your lips after rinsing. 

“Yeah, just gotta shower and I’m good to go.” You reply loudly, turning your attention back to the mirror. A round, puffy face stares back at you, eyebags apparent after only managing to fall asleep at two in the morning.

You really should stop drinking so late at night. Luckily, a shower helps to reduce the puffiness in your face, and you step out of your room looking somewhat presentable in a lavender hoodie and shorts. 

The gentle sunlight shining through the bare windows breathed life into the room and the curtains that once decorated the small window seat. Where your bed once sat was empty with the polished mahogany wood underneath. 

Endless nights of laying in your plush bed with your bedside lamp's dim yet warm glow seemed so distant in your memories. Your hand lingers on the doorknob, mumbling a soft goodbye before shutting the door and heading downstairs to where your father is waiting.

“Shall we?” He grins, placing the last of your luggage in the car boot. He closes it, offering a hand to you. You take it, allowing him to guide you to the front seat where the radio is already playing your favourite pop songs. 

As he starts to drive, you’re momentarily distracted with taking the perfect picture for your Instagram story, singing along with your tone-deaf father who’s belting out ABBA as he drives past the massive signboard signalling goodbye. You watch it pass, fields and clouds dotting the sky moving by steadily.

It’d be a lie to say you wouldn’t miss home. But this is a chance at a new beginning - maybe one that could change your life for the better. As faint jazz starts up in the back of your mind, you smile softly. Not even that could dampen your mood.

— — — — — 

You stir, eyes fluttering open at the annoying sound of drilling and construction. You blink a few times, sitting up from where you had slumped against the window while you slept. Your vision clears, and you move your hands away to see bright lights and skyscrapers galore around you. 

You're here. 

Ninjago City is filled to the brim with people and endless traffic. Your dad scowls at the long line of cars in front of him, glaring at the red light that seems to take forever to turn green. You fiddle with the games on your phone, focusing intently on beating the next level of Candy Crush. 

You mumble a cuss when 'Game Over' appears on the colourful screen, and he immediately turns with a suspicious gaze. You smile nervously, trying to play it off as though you hadn't said anything. 

Luckily, he turns back around, choosing to let it pass. 

You stare out the window, watching the shops pass by in a blur until you spot one that catches your eye. “Dad, could you drop me off here?” He doesn't question your sudden request, making a turn and parking next to the sidewalk. 

You open the car door and exit, looking up at the sign on the storefront. 

'Ninjago Doomsday Comix'

“Emily’s already making dinner, so just meet us back at the new apartment.” He texts you the new address quickly, eyeing you suspiciously. “Be nice.” He warns, satisfied with the small nod you give in reply. 

“Yeah, just gonna take a look around the place, y'know, before I get lost tomorrow.” You joke. You adjust the straps of your small bag before settling it in a comfortable position on your back. 

“See you later then, munchkin. Call us if anything happens. Should be safe since those ninjas are around.”

Before you can question what he means, he drives off with all the rest of your luggage. You were lucky that your dad had visited the city multiple times on business trips and that he was primarily a hands-off parent.

“Right. Ninjas.” You mumble with a shake of your head, striding off toward the comic book store. The door swings open easily, a jingle catching you off guard. A man at the cashier counter greets you with a friendly grin that eases your nerves, and you walk up to him. 

“Hi, do you know where to find Starfarer comics?”

“Well, right here, of course!” You cringe at his response, realising how poorly worded your question was. It elicits a chuckle from the man in front of you. 

“Just kidding. I'm Rufus, Rufus McAllister, or you can call me Mother Doomsday. You're a new face around these parts. What's your name?”

“I just moved here, so maybe that's why." You reply, clutching the straps of your bag with a small smile at the friendly man and throwing in your name as well as an afterthought.

“Well, welcome to Ninjago City! I hope the city treats you well. We got the ninja protecting us, so that's added security too.”

“Right,” You smile emotionlessly at him. Is everyone here such big fans of the Ninja? Sure, Melody’s a fan, but not as much as bringing them up every chance she got. “Good to know.” 

Rufus pauses with his lips parted, seemingly processing your words. A relaxed grin slowly forms on his lips. He glances towards a specific aisle, seemingly contemplating. 

“It should be fine then….” He mumbles. You're just lost in where this conversation had ended up. 

“Aisle Eight is where we keep the best-stocked Starfarer comics.” He gestures to the area he had been staring at earlier. You thank him with a brief nod, walking over. 

The aisle is relatively empty, save for two other people. A blonde guy in a green hoodie is flipping through the latest issue of Starfarer with keen interest, engrossed in the colourful pages.

Next to him is another boy with slightly wavy and choppy black hair, the smooth and silky strands making you both envious and curious about his hair care routine. In contrast to his friend(you assumed), he regards you with a suspicious gaze. 

Oh no. He’s hot.

You find it odd, feeling mildly unsettled by the intense stare he gives you. It wasn't a good one; more on the wary side than interested. You brush it off, ignoring the pair and scouring the shelves for issue number three.

You finally find the comic you're looking for, but it's directly opposite the pair. 

After all, what would you be if not cursed with horrid coincidence?

You practically tiptoe over, clearing your throat slightly as you grab the comic book and start reading. Green Hoodie(Greenie, you decide to nickname) looks up in surprise, only now noticing your presence. Mr. Grumpy Pants(The nickname suits him perfectly), on the other hand, doesn't bother hiding the grimace on his lips at your presence, looking away.

You stiffen, eyes shifting into a glare.

Rude.

Greenie hits his friend's shoulder in a light punch, looking at you with an expression of apology. “She should be fine. Rufus wouldn't send anyone over here without vetting them first.” Greenie whispers to Mr. Grumpy Pants, referring to his earlier behaviour.

“Yeah, but what if they're…you know? I don't want another repeat of what happened with Jay.”

Oh. Oh. I see now.

You almost drop the comic book in your hands, caught off guard by how attractive Mr Grumpy Pants' voice is. You tense, now more aware of their presence. Even though you don't want to eavesdrop, you can't help how your ears practically perk up, hoping to hear more of the deep voice from earlier. 

Plus, they weren't doing a very good job of keeping their conversation a secret.

“I trust Rufus. He's a good friend.” 

“...Maybe.”

“Is that…? OMG! It's them!!”

You're interrupted from blankly staring at the same page for the past ten minutes, having focused on the conversation behind you, though the pair had stopped talking a while ago. You look up at the store's glass windows, startled by the sudden sight of a group of girls pressed against the glass, staring intently at the two boys behind you. 

“Fuck.” You watch all the colour drain from Greenie's face while Mr Grumpy Pants smacks his palm against his face, sliding it down and sighing heavily with an utterly defeated expression. 

"Not again…" You hear him mutter. “And watch your language,” He adds, elbowing Greenie who just sticks out his tongue. The girls grab their phones, snapping photos of them. You realise that you're probably in them, too, considering the lack of distance between you both. 

"Girls, there's the door!!" The tallest and most commandeering of the group holds open the entrance to the comic book store, and they swarm towards it.

"Cole, run!!!" Greenie yells, taking off to the back door that Rufus quickly ushers them both through. You grab the issue of Starfarer that Greenie dropped on the floor in his hasty exit, watching the fabric of Cole's shirt almost get stuck in the doorway.

At least now you know his name. 

You place both the comics back on the shelf, leaving with a quick wave to Rufus, who nods goodbye. You pull out your phone, look up directions to the apartment and slowly make your way there. You grab your earbuds, put them both in your ears and start your playlist from the beginning.

You're next to an alleyway, just steps away from a ramen store, when your arm is grabbed and pulled into an alleyway next to you. A yelp rips free from your chest, losing your balance and almost falling. 

A strong and warm arm holds yours firmly, pressing you against the cold brick wall. Your eyes automatically squeeze shut when your back hits the wall with a grunt, opening your eyes to see Mr. Grumpy Pants from earlier. 

What the everloving fuck-

His hand is pressed firmly against your mouth, and your hands curl into fists, summoning all the strength in your body to land a solid punch on his chest. He yelps, pressing his lips tightly together to silence himself. He glares at you, and you return it just as angrily. Your fingers close into fists, readying yourself for another punch, aiming for his jaw next.

He shushes you, and you only just notice his pinched brows and the shine of sweat on his forehead. He had tugged you behind a wall that separated into a small alcove, out of sight from the sidewalk you were on earlier.

"Turn that nauseating song off." Cole winces, muttering through clenched teeth. Your hands slow to a stop, confused by his words. He grabs your phone out of your hands, pressing pause on your beloved playlist before you can protest.

Your eyes widen in shock, staring up at his stupidly handsome face. His dark brown eyes are filled with the fear of being caught, and you catch yourself admiring the shaggy black hair that frames his face in the most annoyingly perfect manner.

Your mind races with incoherent thoughts, but one sticks out like a sore thumb.

Your soulmate's a celebrity? 

For a celebrity, his music taste sucks ass.

"Am I getting kidnapped right now?" You voice out the most pressing concern on your mind, though it comes out muffled. He turns back to face you with an incredulous expression.

"You don't know who I am?" His voice is hushed, waiting for the horde of fangirls to run past your hiding spot. Your eyes narrow, pushing his hand off of where it's placed on your shoulders. You try to ignore the tingle his touch leaves behind that spreads to your hands and how his choppy bangs somehow manage to fall over his eyes in a somewhat attractive manner when he turns to face you. 

"In the past twenty minutes, you've glared at me, been rude, and practically held me hostage," You snap at him, irritated by the lack of common human decency he seems to display. "And what do you mean nauseating? If anything, you're the one giving me headaches with that god-awful noise you call music that you play daily! I mean, who wakes up at 4 AM?? Only a psychopath, apparently."

You finish your mini rant, having reached the end of your already thinning patience with the boy in front of you. You pant slightly, trying your best to reign in your temper. 

"Noise? Noise?? I could say the same for you! You're disturbing my sleep at night with those ear-splitting synths and breathy singing that sounds like they're on the verge of hyperventilation!" Cole retorts with thinly veiled disgust, taking a step back, dusting off his hands, and wiping them on his pants. 

You eye the action, feeling insulted. Both of you stand in the alleyway, silently glaring at each other. Cole breaks the stare first, scanning the area behind him once he realises the fangirls are gone. You grin, elated at the quiet victory. 

“You really gotta get more variety.” Your smile drops as soon as the words leave Cole's lips, and yours press into a thin line. 

“Speak for yourself.” You can barely hold back another biting remark. If anyone were to see you now, they'd mistake you as enemies rather than the soulmates that you are.

He groans, rolling his eyes. You're tempted to ask what he does for a living but choose to stay silent. You shake your head, still in disbelief that you've found your soulmate. “Out of all people…” You mutter under your breath with a scowl. 

“I could say the same. I don’t know how someone like you ended up as my soulmate.” He retorts, seemingly having overheard. 

“I’m glad we share the same view then. At least that’s one thing we can agree on. Now, let’s make a deal. You go right, and I go left and we never run into each other again. Deal?” You propose, holding out your hand for a handshake. He eyes it for a solid moment, mulling over his decision. Instead of shaking your hand, however, he merely nods, crossing his hands over his chest. Your eyes narrow.

How insufferable.

“Looks like they’re gone.” He takes a moment to glance out of the alleyway, starting in the direction opposite and leaving you to your own devices. You continue to glare at his retreating figure, driving home your irritation by placing your earbuds back into your ears and hitting play.

Immediately, Cole's songs start playing in the back of your mind, much louder than before. You let out an irritated groan, turning to glare at his broad back. Curse his well-chiselled body and toned arms. 

Stupid soulmate.

— — — — — 

“So, how was your first day in town?” Your stepmother, Emily, sits down opposite you, taking out one of the hair clips she used to keep the bangs out of her face. Her hair is messy, tied into a ponytail and her skirt is stained with spaghetti sauce. 

“Decent. Went to a comic book place.” You say through a mouthful. Your response is short, but it’s more than what used to be quiet dinners around a tension-filled dining table in the past. 

“That’s good. Doomsday Comix, I assume?” She doesn’t flinch from your wide-eyed gaze, caught off guard by how eerily accurate her guess is. “I used to work there when I was younger. I hope you found the comics you were looking for. Starfarer, right?”

“Right,” You reply unsurely, spooning another bunch of pasta into your mouth. You forget that Emily had been born and raised in Ninjago, only having met your dad during one of her trips for ‘inspiration’. You and she had a rocky relationship, but one could say that you’re currently making progress - you think.

“Did you meet the ninja?” Your dad asks, taking some sliced-up steak on his plate and placing it on Emily’s. You eye the way she lights up at the action, a nauseating feeling beginning to stir in the bottom of your stomach. “I hope if you got in trouble, they got you out of it.”

“Oh yeah? What’re the ninja gonna do, spin me around till I get a headache?” You snort, chewing on an irritating broccoli stem that refuses to get chowed down on. “Mystify me to pieces? Bore me to death?” 

The sarcastic jabs don’t phase your dad in the slightest. He shrugs, used to your disbelieving comments. “Just be careful out there still, okay? I know Ninjago City is safe but there are still pickpockets around and petty crimes.” 

“Which is exactly why I called in a favour from an old friend.” Emily smiles softly at your father, but it fades slightly when she looks at you, uncertainty in her gaze. “He’s an instructor, and I’ve asked him to teach you self-defence so you can at least protect yourself.”

Your hand slows to a halt, the singular piece of spaghetti dangling off your fork as you blink owlishly at her. “I never asked for your help.” The words slip out before you can stop yourself, hurt flitting across Emily’s face before she composes herself, clearing her throat and picking up a piece of broccoli.

Aaand that’s a streak of 3 and a half months without being mean, gone.

“I just thought that maybe you should stay safe. Besides that,” You can sense the carefulness in her words, trying to choose the right ones to say. “I have an event coming up that I’d like you to attend. It’s a fundraiser, and I would like you to be there.” She pauses for a moment, looking from your father to you. “Both of you.”

“No thanks,” The clang of the metal fork against the porcelain plate makes her wince slightly at the harsh sound. You stand up with your half-empty plate, appetite vanishing just as quickly as a passing breeze. “I’m gonna head out. School stuff to catch up on and all.” You spot your father starting to stand up with a frown, only to stop when she places her hand on his arm and shakes her head sadly. 

You ignore it.

Besides, you have a best friend to call.

— — — — — 

“I think I met my soulmate today.” You instinctively pull the phone away from your ear just as she starts screaming. 

“What? Where?? When?? How????? WHO???”

“Comic book store, today,” you reply, playing with a strand of your hair to distract yourself. 

“Comic book store? Oh no, he’s a nerd.” The mock horror in her voice makes you suppress a defeated groan, picturing exactly how wide her smug grin is. Closing your eyes, you take a moment to inhale slowly. Damn. She remembers. 

When you were younger, you had made a bet with Melody as to what kind of person your soulmate would be. Being the naive child you were, you had bet on him being a superstar. 

Melody, on the other hand, had bet that you'd end up with someone the complete opposite of you. A secret nerd. 

Even at the tender age of 15, she had already read countless romantic books filled with cliche tropes. Right now though, this knowledge is absolutely terrifying to you. You hear a sigh of satisfaction over the phone, lips curling into a frown. “I’m not going to do it.”

“You have to! We pinky promised. Plus, Todd’s back home and if you don’t want me to tell him about-” 

“I’ll do it,” you groan, cutting her off from the effective threat. “The First Spinjitzu Master sent you down for just one reason and that was to make my life even worse.”

“Wait.” Melody says, “What happened to your whole spiel about ‘oh I hate soulmates and I never want to have one, bleh bleh bleh’ ?”

“First of all, that is not how I sound. Is that really how I sound to you??” You gasp. Maybe your whole stance against soulmates was getting a bit too much, even for Melody. “Besides, it’s nothing new. His stupid jazz started a couple of months back or something.” You grumble, deciding to collapse on your bed instead of pacing your room.

“And you didn’t tell me??” She says incredulously, her voice raised. You can hear a faint “What didn’t she tell you?” in the background, recognising the voice as her brother’s. 

“Nothing!” She shouts back at him, “I expect details. Right fucking now.”

“It’s not much,” You sigh, looking up at your ceiling and letting your phone rest beside your head, her voice filling the quiet room through the speakerphone. “It came outta nowhere and honestly? If nothing happened, no way am I about to fly across the world just to see him. I have school. And homework.”

“You’ve never handed in a single piece of homework on time.” Her voice has a hint of accusation. 

“What can I say? Moving gives you a whole new perspective on self-reflection.” You shrug nonchalantly, though you know she can’t see it. 

“What’s his music taste?”

“Smooth jazz and soft rock.” You groan at her awws on the other end, “Yeah, let’s see if you still find that cute when you’re trying to sleep and he decides to blast music at 4 AM.”

“An early riser. Maybe he works out?” Melody’s wistful voice doesn’t go unnoticed. 

“I sense dissatisfaction with your current soulmate.” Your snarky reply makes her chuckle. 

“You wish. Luke’s gonna start going to the gym 'cause I said I liked his biceps last week.” She says with amusement, “Right, I have a date tomorrow. Should I wear the pink blouse or blue?”

“Blue.”

“Pink it is.” 

“Why do you even bother asking me?” You say blankly, grinning when she barks out a laugh. “Have fun on your date.”

“Remember to get autographs!”

“I won’t if you don’t shut up and get to bed.” The call instantly concludes with a monotonous dial tone after you hang up, placing your phone on your table with a grin. You open your laptop with a new sense of purpose, searching for articles on the ninja. Your unfulfilled promise haunts you, knowing full well that although most of your friends thought it was a joke, Melody would be intent on at least fracturing your pinky finger if you didn’t get their autographs.

A sudden knock on the door startles you and your hands quickly close the laptop instinctively. The door slowly creaks open, and your dad steps inside. You turn away, pretending to busy yourself with tidying your desk with minimal clutter. “Is this about dinner?”

“Well,” you hear him hesitate. “Kind of. Look, it’d mean a lot to her if you went, y’know. Besides, the self-defence instructor we asked to teach you has already accepted.”

“Can’t you get a refund?” You finally turn to face him, lips parted to say more until you scan his face. Sunken cheeks and eyes filled with sadness stare back at you, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you’d be more open towards his wife. Towards her. 

And just like that, your temper which had slowly begun to bubble up again at the mention of your stepmom dies down, left with nothing but wisps of resentment. You swallow down the lump in your throat, unable to meet his gaze. 

“Fine. Tell Hamla that I’ll go to her charity fundraiser, whatever.” 

He breathes a sigh of relief, while you focus on your fingers already picking away at the skin on your thumb. Tiny flecks of peeled skin land on the floor, invisible in the lack of light. The skin is red and raw underneath, but you can’t feel the pain, focusing instead on the repetitiveness of the action.

“Thank you, munchkin.” 

The door closes without any further conversation, and the weight on your chest suddenly lifts. It’s still there, but significantly less than before. You close your eyes, hands curling into fists as you breathe out slowly but shakily. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.

You open the laptop back up, allowing the bright screen to distract you from any further thoughts. The picture of the ninja fills your screen, one in a black gi catching your eyes. What was he again? The Earth Ninja? 

Glancing at the closet, you mentally flit through your outfit options for the fundraiser. A thought nags away at your brain, as if on the edge of remembering one very important fact. You pull up the article from this morning, rereading it once more as it hits you, looking from the article to the picture a few times before your lips pull up in a slow smile.

Looks like you’d get their autographs sooner than you thought.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #cole brookestone #cole brookstone x reader #cole x reader #ninjago x reader #cole ninjago #lego ninjago x reader

[nicksbestie]

Hey! If it’s not too much to ask, could you write a fic where Matt is a little bit tried to hide that he’s slipped from his partner (I don’t mind female or gender neutral :))? Thank you angel ��💜💜

Hiding - M. Sturniolo

Summary : Despite being incredibly loved and supported, your boyfriend still struggles a lot with anxiety about how he chooses to cope. Good thing you can always tell when he needs you <3

Pairing : Matt Sturniolo/Reader (romantic)

Warnings : mentions of anxiety, worrying

Word Count : 1124

A/N : This is an age regression fic, which is purely safe for work and innocent. Any hate/disrespect towards me, my work, or readers, will not be tolerated.

Your boyfriend was the sweetest person that you had ever met. You had never met someone who was so genuinely kind hearted, despite everything that they had dealt with and been through, and you considered yourself so incredibly lucky to have such a darling person in your life, especially being your partner. He dealt with a lot in his life, especially now that he was a public figure, and you knew that could become incredibly difficult for him. It often showed in his time off of the camera, as his job was not stress free. His anxiety could often be uncontrollable, and it was something that he had struggled with for his entire life. 

He had been through so many coping mechanisms in his life, desperately trying to find something that would ease his worries, and it took him a long time to find something comfortable for him. He took a while before he even told you about it, a little worried and afraid that he would be judged by you, despite knowing that you loved him unconditionally. When he finally told you that he had chosen regression as a coping mechanism, you comforted him with open arms, telling him that you were insanely proud of him, knowing that it had been difficult to overcome the anxiety swelling in his mind to just tell you about it. 

Matt was the sweetest little, his age falling around the toddler range, and he was the most gentle baby you’d ever taken care of. He was quiet, fairly introverted, and extremely cuddly. He was a very loving little one, and he was nearly always happy while he was in headspace. He’s a cute baby, but sometimes, his anxiety follows him into his littlespace. Every now and then, it really got to him, and he was even more attached to you, terrified of the world, trusting you to take care of him and keep him safe. Because of this anxiety sometimes getting to him, during these days, he often fought his regression, feeling extremely self conscious about it, but you were always there to help him relax. 

Today was clearly one of those days. You had noticed that Matt had been picking at his nails a lot, his eyes always darting back and forth, and his body just generally screamed that he was anxious. You had done everything you could to help that day, hugging him lots, texting and telling him lots of words of encouragement, making sure that you were never far from him just in case he needed you. You didn’t know what had caused today to be such a bad day, but it was entirely possible that it was simply just one of those days. Anxiety can be unpredictable, and maybe he had just woken up unlucky today. You were supportive throughout the entire day, ignoring the nagging feeling in your chest, knowing that Matt hadn’t had time to regress in multiple days now. 

When he had to go many days without his form of stress relief, it often caused his anxiety to get a lot worse. You had a feeling that he really needed to have little time, but it was clear that he was busy today. He had a lot to do for filming videos, brand collabs, getting set up to film the next podcast episodes, and he had nearly been working nonstop for the past week. You knew deep down that he needed to relax, but you unfortunately had to wait and support him through the day first. The day continued, they finished filming a car video, and the second that Matt pulled into the garage, you immediately went downstairs to check on him. Nick and Chris thundered out of the car, laughing about some stupid joke, not noticing how Matt threw his head back into the seat, eyes closing, and a deep sigh leaving his lips, before putting his head in his hands. 

You hurriedly opened the door, helping him out of the car and pulling him into a deep hug, helping him walk back up the stairs. His exhaustion was written all over his face, and you could feel it as he let you carry half of his weight. You helped him change into more comfortable clothing, and he immediately threw himself down on the bed, curling up into you when you laid down next to him. You wrapped your arms around him, rubbing his back and running a hand through his hair, gently whispering comforts and praise, noticing the way he slowly went completely silent. You let him lay there in quiet for a while, hugging him, and softly kissing his forehead before speaking. 

“Are you okay, honey?” 

He simply nodded into your chest, not answering, and you had a suspicion that he was slipping, and trying to hide the fact that he was feeling little. You didn’t want to pressure him, wanting to give him the space to tell you himself, but you didn’t think he was going to do that tonight, so you spoke again. 

“Okay, sweetheart. I’m here if you need me, alright bubba?” 

Before you knew it, loud sobs were filling the room, Matt hugging you tighter and attempting to make himself appear smaller, clearly feeling immense levels of fear and embarrassment. Your eyes softened, continuing to comfort him while he cried. 

“Oh, angel. Deep breaths, baby, you’re safe. You’re going to be okay, my love, I’ve got you. Nothing to worry about anymore, honey, I’m going to make sure you’re taken care of.” 

It seemed to only make him cry harder, unable to speak to save his life, simply clinging to you and crying out all of his frustrations into the person he trusted with his life, his most vulnerable headspace. You reassured him, whispering sweet nothings to him while he cried it out, slowly stopping the tears, hiccuping a little bit, and if he wasn’t so sad, you would’ve found it so cute. You gently wiped his tears away, pressing little kisses to his forehead and cheeks, keeping him in your arms so he felt encased, but in the safest possible way. When he cried this hard, and had this bad of a day, he always cried himself right into a nap, and you were patiently expecting it. 

You knew he needed the rest, and you kept him held close to your body, his stuffed animal clutched in his arms, tears drying, and slowly yawning. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep against you, face flushed, and you held him as he slept, knowing that no matter what mood he was in when he woke up, you would always be here to take care of him, and he didn’t have to hide.

~ taglist : @blahbel668 @strnilo @mattsgirlfrieeend @69isabella69 @mayhem-72 @iculdstealurgf @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @sturnioloslife @heartsforkarina @nervousrebelglitter @sturniclo @elliegrace-7 @mattsturnioloisbae

~ if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here!

~ my inbox is open, come chat!

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt #matt sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo smut #matt x y/n #matt x reader #matthew sturniolo headcannons #matthew sturniolo x y/n #matthew sturniolo oneshot #matthew sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo imagine #matthew bernard sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo age regression #little matt sturniolo #caregiver matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo sfw fic #matt sturniolo sfw #matt sturniolo agere

[nicromancytarot]

NICROMANCY GETS SCAMMED - EPISODE 2

All I do on this app is complain.

Hello and welcome to part 2 of me possibly being scammed?? (I feel like this is deserved now, am I just really unlucky or something?)

16th of March @samisinsomniac messaged me for an exchange, I gave them their reading the next day 500 words as I mentioned I preferred, they responded with my reading the next day too, only with around 200 words, but I was thankful nonetheless!

I gave them a thank you, and some feedback on the reading, they also gave me a little bit of feedback for the one I gave to them.

On the 30th of March they messaged me again for some clarity on a situation through another exchange.

I got to their’s as soon as I could (which was immediately since I wasn’t busy that day), they were busy, but that’s ok, they said they would give mine to me by 10pm Indian standard time. India is 5 hours ahead of me, as I am set in the UK.

I proceeded to give their reading to them, 500 words as before, not only did I not receive any thank you, I also didn’t receive feedback. If you’re a Tarot reader, you will understand how crucial feedback is for us to better our talent and improve our work, and they know this very well, as they even mentioned to me during our first exchange for me to let them know how it resonates, and leave some feedback in their ask box.

To make matters worse, they did not give me my reading by 10pm IST. (It’s getting realll)

Here is their response to my reading, the blocked off part is me explaining the person’s feelings for them, I don’t want to put anyone’s personal information on blast, which is why that is covered.

They then said that they would send the reading to me that evening.

It was not delivered by that time either. DUH DUH DUH

I messaged them a tad worried, perhaps they’d been hit by a car and I was just being mad for no reason. They let me know that they had a medical issue, which made me feel evil for pacing my room in anticipation (I didn’t actually do that, only inside my mind palace)

Finally, I received my reading! It was… 200 words, but alas! At least I got it and everyone is alive.

Now the average person would take this as a lesson not to exchange again, just in case they get caught up with another medical issue you know, or maybe the reading is short. (Which ever one is worse. IM KIDDING)

They had a birthday! Turned 18, that’s great, I’m also 18, they messaged me about it, then asked me if I did 18+ readings.

Sometimes I lack context clues, but personally I feel like my confusion here is pretty valid. Plus! Their profile said they don’t do 18+, I’m very valid in my confusion.

Anyways! They ask for my question, I give it, then they give me theirs, they ask if it’s ok, I let them know it is.

But I was hungry and needed to shower, so I also let them know that.

They were doing my reading at 7:26pm, I got out my shower at 10:48pm…. somethings not adding up! So I sent a little message, letting them know about my recent scam, and how I did not want to get scammed again so they would have to send it first.

However, they have not responded, it’s been 3 days, since they apparently started my reading? Now I’m no Tarot Goddess, but I’m pretty sure you would be done with a reading by day 3.

Listen, I don’t wanna fight or argue, I’m just a little funny guy who does Tarot, no fight in me, you message me in caps and I think I’ll cry.

This is not to cause an argument, or to throw hands at anybody, I just don’t like being lied to or taking advantage of as a smaller Tarot reader.

It’s only been 3 days, I was planning on waiting longer to post this, however I feel like now is fine as I’ve clearly been lied to about when they started their reading, which I’m not sure if it was to receive theirs early from me, I got no clue dude, what I do know is I am really tired of people doing this to me, please stop, before I actually cast a spell for you to clip into the back rooms.

Scammers: 2 Nicromancy: 0

Please stop scamming me, you’re embarrassing me in front of my spirit guides. 😔

#tarot #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #free tarot #tarot witch #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a pile

[biggiedraws]

thinking about post-implantation wash again.....

cause like. the rvb writers dropped a lot of balls, but this is the one i find personally the most upsetting. like. a soldier getting irreparably fucked up by an experiment gone wrong is the kind of premise i read fanfiction about (that probably says something about me but im not gonna examine it. moving on). especially since he STAYED with freelancer???? you could take this in so many different directions- his fellow freelancers are worried about him but he pushes through anyway. his fellow freelancers ARENT worried about him and push him harder than he can handle. the director pulls the ai fragments and theres hostility from more than just the one-dimensional "raging bitch" character. the director DOESNT pull the ai fragments, which seriously calls into question the ethics of the whole operation (which i believe is more in line with the pfl that was described in earlier seasons, but thats a story for another time) AND puts potential pressure on wash to get another implantation (oh my GOD. show me THAT version of pfl).

and of couse. how could i possibly forget epsilon. there is something so uniquely tasty about 2 characters who went through something traumatic together and then didnt see each other again until ages later- ESPECIALLY when one of them was the cause, even though they werent directly at fault, and the other was just unlucky enough to be involved. like holy shit????? the TENSION that would cause???? the discomfort being around each other? the guilt? having nowhere to place the blame except the director?? oh my GOD literally any interaction between them couldve had so much FLAVOUR. im not saying they need to be the main focus of the story or anything but we didnt get a single interaction!! not even a crumb!! like. do something with the fact that wash needed to have alpha in his head in season 6 despite refusing to ever have another ai after epsilon. do something with wash needing to SEE and HEAR and TALK TO epsilon again. do something with epsilon remembering fucking exploding in washs head!!!! im not asking for a lot here- asking for a lot would be suggesting a scenario like the one from season 6, except wash needs EPSILON in his head for some reason and gets legitimately triggered by it or cant bring himself to do it. thats the kind of shit i want to see, but i understand that that isnt carolina-centric enough so ill get it from fanfiction as god intended. but cant i ask for at least some awkwardness? maybe an uncomfortable confrontation? irrational hostility? SOMETHING. it doesnt have to be the focus but it should be THERE.

and like. youd think that this is an issue with retconning. and it kind of is, but its more about missed opportunities. like. i dont mind the retcon that freelancer was always its own thing, or that church was always an ai. those things are cool! they take the story in a more interesting direction! yeah it makes things more confusing and id prefer if the retcons werent necessary, but. its not the end of the world. but the thing with wash is. they did a really cool and interesting thing by having an ai COMMIT SUICIDE in his fucking HEAD. and then they went back on it! they very quickly went from "this clearly left a lasting impact on him" to "oh well it was bad, probably worse than hes letting on, but some of it was an act! so he could take em down from the inside!" to "yeah i mean he screamed while it was happening but he was fine when he woke up. no lasting consequences" and then it was never addressed again. and im mad about it!! they didnt even properly retcon it- they just decided that it had no consequences anymore, and it made washs character LESS interesting.

#anyway. having a lot of wash thoughts lately #rvb #red vs blue #rvb washington

[the-empress-7]

Sometimes I think this is the saddest part of all. Charles clearly sees himself in Harry, particularly the part about Harry being 'unlucky' in love (e.g. Charles asking Amanda Knatchbull and her rejection because she didn't want to be in the BRF) and falling in love with someone 'inappropriate' (Camilla) only to be forced to break up with her by the family.

I hate this idea that Charles was never allowed to marry for love.

He proposed to Amanda because there was pressure on him to get married and not end up like Edward viii. Amanda was the niece or something of Louis Mountbatten and he had hoped Charles would marry her. It’s not like Charles was in love with her.

Charles and Camilla’s relationship was also not that serious at first. She didn’t want to get married to him and wanted Andrew Parker Bowles.

Charles married Diana because she said yes to his proposal. Not because he was forced to propose to her. Look I sympathise with him succumbing to pressure and getting married while he didn’t want to. My family has been basically doing nothing but pressuring me to get married and im 25.

That said the whole ‘Camilla and Charles are this Romeo and Juliet kind of lovers who weren’t allowed to get married but ultimately triumphed over the evil BRF’ is nothing more than C&C’s pr. Im sure the likes of the queen mum wouldn’t be pleased with Camilla but ultimately they couldn’t do anything had Charles insisted on marrying her.

Thank you for this, I appreciate it.

[borathae]

ok finally doing this after a nap

Chapter 3

What is wrong with me *me 24/7, ALSO YES WHAT WAS ALL THAT???

Ever since you set foot into this estate, your brain went into a total frenzy YES EXACTLY AND it seems like she can remember hmmm

Why does everything here look so ancient? YOU NEED TO READ FANFICS to learn to live (except we dont get lucky yn parts just the unlucky embarrassing parts but thank god we aint dying every 5 chapter like yn)

You remember drinking one glass of wine. the said glass of wine:

It is totally normal to forget your date’s name after sleeping in his guestroom never been on a date, but i forgot someone's name after sitting next to them all day and realized after class while talking to bestie and had to wait till attendance next day -_-

ok the door is still locked. he told her to keep them locked and she did, but opened it for a sec and locked it again during the night. and the entire teleporting happened. this is a bit confusing hmmm. like opening it for a sec caused the change, but she locked it again. then how did they get her inside again? the bruise is there so it means it was real. the lock must have some magic and opening it during night causes it to go away?? i will think later lol

Did you punch your own throat in your sleep oof

Why did he know where to look exactly it wasnt a dream babe

istg im about to bitch slap this bitchless dude (TAE I LOVE U DONT TAKE IT TO THE HEART)

You should take better care of your belongings Kim Taehyung damn

He creeps me out honestly speaking all of them are creepy, yoongi is 10% less

just like that all your worries are wiped away like magic. like magic or with magic 👀👀(were u silent or silenced)

your knees are buckling like crazy THIS WILL BREAK ME THIS IS GONNA BREAK ME

Okay not going to lie, this was kind of cool you know whats more cooler??? jimin feeding his cycle 😂 THAT REMINDS ME OF JIN RIDING THE CYCLE HANDS FREE *fans myself

You snort, “so very humble.” ikr sOoOo HuMbLe

hmm usually you see cats sitting on horses, chilling. yoongles must be a rare kitty

Tell me again, why are you studying?” seriously dude must be bored as fuck to study, or started to forget cuz its beeen toooo looong

hold on what if some old being makes some theories and is "killed/disappeared" and later, with a different identity, studies his own theories in college 😭 and continues with it lol

It earned you a scholarship, it clearly must be well written.” or was it something to bring her to them??? 👀 *sus

The entrance exam stole my sanity from me. Even after a week of completing it I still felt jittery.” what type of students go there? what type of university is that? very weird

sunlight was just too bright for his eyes, DONT BE AN UNCULTURED SWINE, THATS WHEN UR SUPPOSED TO TWITCH AND SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

Emma left, she won’t come back again EMMA DIED FOR SURE OOF

It was a clean and painless end whats that supposed to mean mr.dracula?

Taehyung was a man of such humour ikr him in interviews 😭

Taehyung knew such peculiar stories about places and that doesnt seem weird???

the rain part was soo cute it could me giggling and listening too still with you

wow the honesty was cool, though there is many secrets, some parts feels really raw.

we are both pick-me girls then BAHAHA PLS *starts playing pd48 pick me

they are so cute im gonna die

(the way i started slightly mad at tae and then ended up simping, sighs)

THEY ARE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER DATE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

i cant wait for 2seokkook's pov and her talking to them woohoo

i love how smoothly its written, like everything just flows nicely, the scenes and dialogues, its like those nice cozy well directed movies that you watch with pillows and blanket and rested face, body and mind

its only been 3 chapters, obviously the suspense wouldnt make me grip my pillow yet but its already made me clutch my blanket/pearls lol

jjdafjs it took me so long to figure out how the wine pic happened HAHAHA this is such a funny idea help fjadjfs 😭😂

What is wrong with me *me 24/7, ALSO YES WHAT WAS ALL THAT???

ISTFG WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS ESTATE???

Ever since you set foot into this estate, your brain went into a total frenzy YES EXACTLY AND it seems like she can remember hmmm

like the suspicion is growiinnggg

Why does everything here look so ancient? YOU NEED TO READ FANFICS to learn to live (except we dont get lucky yn parts just the unlucky embarrassing parts but thank god we aint dying every 5 chapter like yn)

it doesn't make sense to you yet probably but I wanna be SA!OC so bad jfasdjf

It is totally normal to forget your date’s name after sleeping in his guestroom never been on a date, but i forgot someone's name after sitting next to them all day and realized after class while talking to bestie and had to wait till attendance next day -_-

girliepop me all the time, I forget names so easily (the same with song titles FAFAJDS like I kid you not I even forgot BTS song titles sometimes like it's so bad)

ok the door is still locked. he told her to keep them locked and she did, but opened it for a sec and locked it again during the night. and the entire teleporting happened. this is a bit confusing hmmm. like opening it for a sec caused the change, but she locked it again. then how did they get her inside again? the bruise is there so it means it was real. the lock must have some magic and opening it during night causes it to go away?? i will think later lol

hmhmhmhm interesting theory indeed mhmhmmh or perhaps 👀 someone made her lock the door again and then think everything was just a dream 👀 mhmhmhm

You should take better care of your belongings Kim Taehyung damn

"belongings" LIKE THE ICK

He creeps me out honestly speaking all of them are creepy, yoongi is 10% less

JFJADSJF YES jhfahsdhf I agree fjadjfa

just like that all your worries are wiped away like magic. like magic or with magic 👀👀(were u silent or silenced)

INDEED LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER???

Okay not going to lie, this was kind of cool you know whats more cooler??? jimin feeding his cycle 😂 THAT REMINDS ME OF JIN RIDING THE CYCLE HANDS FREE *fans myself

omg hahahaha this scene 😭😭 he is such a goof I love him 😭😭 Seokjin is honestly so hot I need to inhale him

hmm usually you see cats sitting on horses, chilling. yoongles must be a rare kitty

*cries* he is indeed a kitty

Tell me again, why are you studying?” seriously dude must be bored as fuck to study, or started to forget cuz its beeen toooo looong

LMOAOAO FOR REAL LIKE FADHF couldn't be mE FJASDJF

hold on what if some old being makes some theories and is "killed/disappeared" and later, with a different identity, studies his own theories in college 😭 and continues with it lol

👀 interesting ohohooh

It earned you a scholarship, it clearly must be well written.” or was it something to bring her to them??? 👀 *sus

OOOOOH IMAGINEEEEE 👀👀

The entrance exam stole my sanity from me. Even after a week of completing it I still felt jittery.” what type of students go there? what type of university is that? very weird

IT IS INDEED VERY WEIRD ALL OF IT 👀

sunlight was just too bright for his eyes, DONT BE AN UNCULTURED SWINE, THATS WHEN UR SUPPOSED TO TWITCH AND SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

lmaoaooaoao in her defence I have really sensitive eyes too and can barely stay in the sun without my eyes ACHING jfadsjfj so it IS possible

Emma left, she won’t come back again EMMA DIED FOR SURE OOF

👀 mhmhmhmmh

It was a clean and painless end whats that supposed to mean mr.dracula?

LIKE HELLO WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER????

Taehyung was a man of such humour ikr him in interviews 😭

I love him 😭😭

Taehyung knew such peculiar stories about places and that doesnt seem weird???

kfadjsfasj she is just here for a good time not a long time lmaooa

wow the honesty was cool, though there is many secrets, some parts feels really raw. they are so cute im gonna die (the way i started slightly mad at tae and then ended up simping, sighs) THEY ARE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER DATE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

fjadjfjad I love how you switched instnatly JFJADSJF THIS IS SO ME WHEN SANGUIS TAE FJADSJFJ

i love how smoothly its written, like everything just flows nicely, the scenes and dialogues, its like those nice cozy well directed movies that you watch with pillows and blanket and rested face, body and mind. its only been 3 chapters, obviously the suspense wouldnt make me grip my pillow yet but its already made me clutch my blanket/pearls lol

gaaah thank youuu <3 I'm so happy that you're having such a good time with it heheheh istfg I love reading your comments, they're so awesome heheheh 🥺😭💜💜

#asks: sanguis alpha #asks #minusback #tw: long post

[cxrnlia]

Race summary that nobody asked for but i feel like it. MY OPINION!!! So don’t lash out on me ty v much :D Let’s start.

Lando deserved better, if it wasn’t for the clash with Lewis he could’ve gotten top 10, very very unlucky.

Lewis, the man he is, a bit salty that he ripped landos front wing off but i cannot be mad at him cuz he’s amazing lol, he did what he had to do, well deserved podium.

George, not much to say about him rather than the fact that the mercedes were flying today, very happy for them both, and great job from mercedes and george.

Carlos, he did all he could with that fucking tractor honestly, im sure im not the only one who would’ve wanted him on the podium but it is what it is.

Charles…i mean do i even wanna start? LMFAO. Burn the whole team down idk. He literally said that he wanted to box for softs and then Xavi told him they’re going for hards when Charles told them he wanted softs because he had no grip on hards. This team is pure clownery. He deserves better, im seriously waiting for that day when he just breaks and finally lashes out and screams at them, idk if that day is gonna come though. If he doesn’t do something about it, it’s on him. Other than that literally nothing else he could’ve done, a race to forget indeed.

Max, well what can i say, that man is fucking incredible honestly. He’s always incredible so it didn’t really surprise anyone here at all. Great job from him as per usual and from the whole team.

Overall happy with the podium, would love to see Lando Carlos and Charles on it one day but that day is clearly not today.

(if u saw me lash out a few posts ago about ferrari, no u didn’t)

#charles leclerc #george russell #lewis hamilton #carlos sainz jr #max verstappen #lando norris #formula 1 #spanish gp 2023 #barcelona gp 2023 #race summary

[system-of-a-feather]

Honestly I think a thing a lot of people lack when engaging in discourse and honestly complicated conflict and bad blood rooted communication with anyone (past abusers, codependent relationships, internal interactions with persecutory parts etc) is a really low grasp and awareness BEFORE HAND of what they value most and what is at the heart of what they need to be said and understood - and as a result the point of arguing and discussing fets warped around in 5000 only semi-related arguments and people - rooting their need for another topic - feel the need to double down on less important points in displaced fear of forfeiting what actually matters to them

Going into an interaction where the history is less than stellar and knowing and clearly seeing what actual hurt / anger you hold and where it stems is really important to actually having productive conversation / discourse, keeping the topic focused, and giving yourself the room to compromise WITH the other person should they also be willing to compromise.

This came to mind with the whole tulpacourse on my personal blog cause really, I value anti-racism far more than any inherent hard stance of terminology or thr group and should there be a good and genuine proposition to apply anti-racist ideology without changing terms that was actually worth giving the benefit of doubt, I'd be open to overlooking even the term discourse. To me the term is a representative of the problem, an obvious and easy starting point to make amends, but if there is an alternative to make the core thing I value (anti-racism) work that works better and more practically, I'd be willing to throw out my complaints and - given the change is actually made and followed through - completely ally myself to them on a good faith to good faith exchange.

It's why I'm generally pro-endo. I don't know shit on it, but the endo community gave us the good faith in listening to our hurt and anger about cultural appropriation and in turn, I am choosing to seperate those that have given good faith as "endos" and just shitty people as shitty people. The endo community is due good faith from me that should it be kept, my good faith will be returned to my less-informed self.

But even beyond syscourse and online discourse, this is largely how I deal with persecutors in the system and why Im a resident persecutor wrangler. I know what is and isnt negotiable and I know they are people and parts that need something themselves otherwise they would not be voicing their needs. Its a matter of helping them pinpoint what they need and then figuring out a way to have both of our needs met that we can typically defuse them.

Of course not everyones needs are compatible and that is where it is easier irl than within the system as - for irl people - you can just choose to not engage with them, block them, cut them off, ignore them etc which you really cant do as healthily within a system, but ya know, sometimes people really aren't compatible and while that usually is a matter of "unfortunate" luck...

I really don't feel unlucky OR unfortunate to say I am not compatible with racists - especially sinophobic racists - as a Chinese POC myself.

#alter: xiv #xiv rambles #communication #system dynamics #kinda syscourse so for filtering purposes #syscourse #syscourse tw #tulpacourse #tulpacourse tw #persecutor #persecutor recovery

[kob131]

This an half attempt to answer your quiestion, but you are by no means pressured to read it as it is just too long.

Now that i actually sit and think about it a bit more, I think i shouldnt have called them trait, rather the Impact that having a fucked up parent such as morgan had on them. Im sorry that i cant exactly point it out but i will try my best.

Even gawain who is a geniunely good person, can be too persistent as it seems and im pretty sure morgan was a pro in that regard. Gawain is a good person but he can be a bit fucked up too.

agravain is the one who hates morgan's guts the most while still not being able to completley able to escape the Impact she had on him. Being raised by morgan literally messed the dude up. Seeing morgan's probable short temper in agravain wasnt that hard for me. When he hates someone, the hatred is quite deep whether you even did something wrong or not. The "i hate women" line, while being extremly memeable, does imply that morgan definitely isnt the best female parental figure someone could have.

For mordred..... Oh boy, being isolated and having morgan as the only consistent influencial figure outside of your idol who didnt even know you exist , she was really unlucky. Mordred has a short temper which seems to be the easiest to point out.

We dont Know anything about gaheris *dramatic sobbing* outside of the fact that he is probebly the tallest among the five of them.

Either gareth was too young to remember her, or her brothers and lancelot's influence washed out any possible fucked upness. I would say the Impact the orkneys had on eachother did matter even if it isnt really brought up.

No no, I love reading.

I can see how Gawain's stubborness could have come from Morgan, given that both of their actions in the end did more harm than good.

Yeah, Agravain does seem to share Morgan's vindictiveness and fury. Kind of ironic considering he hates women in part because of Morgan's actions while he perpetuates those actions.

And...it might actually be worse for Mordred. A key part of Mordred's conflict is her inability to define herself (her Bond 10 Craft Essence is literally named 'Who Am I?') and a key aspect to Morgan is that her life is split in three to her three different roles. Three different parts of herself she likely could never reconcile between them.

I've said it once and I'll say it again- Mordred is probably the one person who could fully understand her mother.

Though, it's not like Gareth's personality is entirely separate from Morgan. Agravain may have ended up with issues but Gawain ended up as a pretty upstanding if stubborn guy. And remember Gawain's the ELDEST of the Orkney so logically he was exposed to Morgan the most. For him to have grown up that well adjusted, Morgan had to have been a good mother at some point. And it's said she also acted as a good sister/motherly figure to Arturia before finding out the full truth. Gareth's personality could very well be a reflection of who Morgan was before things fell apart.

But yeah, the Orkney siblings most certainly do affect each other quite a bit. Gawain is said to be the closest with Gareth, Agravain doesn't hate Gareth like he usually would (instead having a 'complicated' relationship) and Agravain does care about both Gawain and Mordred since he called out to Gawain after he was shot with Rhongyominad and questioned the Lion King's coldness towards Mordred in the Sixth Singularity. Remember, Lancelot having a lesser part in the Fall of Camelot caused his to utterly loathe the man- by all rights he shouldn't care about Mordred. Yet he clearly does.

P.S. Yeah...I wish we knew something about Gaheris too. Best we know is that he teased Gawain about not knowing how much Gareth looked up him in Garden Of Avalon.

[zarinthel]

dvd ask meme; nobody is asking about impel downer so clearly i have to. i think i’ve read this fic in it’s entirely three times so i’d wanna interrogate you about every chapter, but I’ll pick ch8 times up. there’s a lot i like in here, sybil and akainu’s “fight”, sybil’s last prophecy to akainu as they think they’re about to die (is it a prophecy, a threat, a hope, or. last fuck you, all of the above), canonizing oars death in a heartbreaking way that fits into your plot, more hints at sybil’s backstory (which i’m always dying over will we learn more) in her conversation with shanks and the doctor and their awkard silence reaction to just casual mention of how excessively fucked over sybil has been by the world government

ch8 of impel downer, Time's Up! what a throwback. i loved writing this chapter. now let's see what i remember of something i wrote (checks date) over two years ago lol.

one of my favorite things of shifting between povs in this chapter is that nobody is happy. not garp, not shanks, nobody. not a single person in this war except for blackbeard gained more than they lost.

shanks negotiations. the thing is, he doesn't want to fight. he's not actually interested in swinging the balance of the world any further, but he's also not willing to back down-- he wont let them have whitebeard's body. he won't abandon sybil to marine custody just because it would be "easier".

garp is actually helping him with the offer. but who knows if he'd actually go along with it if sybil hadnt broken their time clock while the arguement was still ongoing.

sybil and akainu. sybil has the strength of a properly made paramecia-- if you make the right circumstances, they can hit way above their level. but there's no way for them to actually hurt him, lol. sybil doesn't really have offensive skills. well, they could probably develop them, but they don't have them. so its a cat and mouse game where the most important things are this

they want to live

akainu wants them to die; its unthinkable to let someone ruin a marine admirals rep like that and live. the problem isn't that they didn't get clobbered but that they did in a way that made him look really bad and ineffective. Lol

"Everything..." They mumble, giving up on running as they focus all their energy into the venom of their voice. "Everything you build. It's gonna crumble. The seas will bleed red with the blood of your enemies, and it will be for nothing. The seas will part, the sky will fall, the---"

the prophesy/curse/fuck you.

sybil's got a lot of stuff their unsure of. a lot of memory problems. inconsistent recall. so maybe they don't know for sure, /memory wise/, that that will happen. but because they believe that they live in a world where Monkey D Luffy will become Pirate King, it's a prophecy. they say it and they believe it.

Oars Jr.

you know, i write a lot of tragedies, but i don't actually write a lot of death scenes. im the type of person who kills people off screen and then writes reactions. so, this one...

i hate when i kill off a character and its less impactful than the original canon. so i thought, this has to be at least as sad as when Oars died in marineford, and that scene was AWFUL.

but i was genuinely sad, you know. i saw the pieces come together, realized how sybil was going to get out, and i, the author, had to realize that oars wasn't going to live. even though i'd half thought he might. thats what happens when you put the puzzle together and then realize what it shows.

you can't save someone like ace and not lose /anything/. and not lose almost everything. you just have to think its worth it.

so, sybil's backstory. this is the first time they even lay most of it out-- we've met them at the start of their adventures in the grand line, but theyve been having a rough decade or so

a watchmaker in west blue, a bad, unlucky run in with a celestial dragon, a failure to pay the Heavenly Tribute dominoed off the original bad run in, a stay in Impel Down dominoed off that. and then, the part they've failed to explain after that of how a civilian who should have been floor 1 had ended up at floor 5.5. the circumstances around their devil fruit. a lot of stuff..

how can a seer not have contempt for the heavens?

how can a prisoner not despise their chains?

and despite all that, they saved ace not for grandiose reasons, but for personal ones. do you think your death would improve the world? Even if the answer is yes, it's fine if you still live!

oh, and then the bounty. that was fun. you know, i actually picked 99 million BEFORE i realized that was the same number as th rest of doflamingo's subordinates. lmao

#meta

[gloom-urai]

[A video is attached!

The camera points down at an icy stone floor, whoever is holding the camera is running. They’re also screaming their head off.

“IF THE LAST THING I EVER DO IS GET EATEN BY THAT ICY MEATBALL IM GOING TO HAVE A FIT WHY COULDNT I JUST DIE PEACEFULLY IN MY BED WATCHING ANI-“

Whoever is holding the camera slips on the ice. The phone flies out of their hand, and momentarily a bright blue blur is visible as whoever was recording the video falls hard on the ground. The phone being used to record the video falls against the cave wall.

A Glalie approches the person, and now that they’re not falling it looks as if they’ve got hair made of blue flames. They quickly get up and try and crawl away from the Pokémon, but it continues to approach.

“Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!! I DIDNT EVEN GET TO LIVE TO SEE STAR ROUGE 2 COME OUT??? FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE!”

The person’s hair suddenly flares up, becoming a bright and vibrant orange. The flames rise, causing the Glalie to back away.

“… wait. It’s… scared of….”

They take advantage of the Pokémon’s hesitation and quickly get up, as the flames fade back to blue. They grin smugly, and large sharp teeth show themselves.

“Eheheh~ is the little snowball scared of fire? Well too bad for you, fire magic is one of my most trained stats!”

They pat around in their pockets, clearly looking for something. After a few seconds it becomes very, very clear that whatever they are looking for isn’t there. The person’s smug smile instantly changes into a nervous one.

“Oh uh. Ehehe…. You um. Wouldn’t mind if we just both went separate ways right? Just pretend like this never happened? Cause uh-“

They scramble to grab their phone and start running again. The Glalie screeches in anger and gives chase. The camera, now positioned so that it gets a good view of the person’s face, gets a very good shot of them crying in fear.

“ITS SO OVER IM SO DEAD WIPED HEALTH DEPLETED PERMA KILLED AND FOR WHY???? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS AM I REALLY JUST THIS FUCKING UNLUCKY?!”

An ice beam shoots past the camera person’s head, causing them to let out a high pitched squeak. They decided the best course of action is to force their eyes shut as they’re running in order to avoid seeing the imminent icy death approaching them. A bad idea, as they then almost immediately run into a wall.

The camera lies on the floor. The screen is black, but the video still picks up the wailing of the camera person and the cold hiss of the approaching Glalie.

But the Glalie’s hissing stops. Instead, there’s a robotic clicking, and the sound of something hitting into the cave walls. The camera is picked up by someone, and before the video ends it’s possible to just barely get a glimpse of who it is.

A young boy with a robotic mask covering half their face picks up the camera. His hair is the same bright blue as the other person’s, but looks like it’s made of electricity more then fire. They’ve got a very concerned look on their face.]

#pokeblogging #rotumblr #pkmn irl #long post

[mostly-mundane-atla]

I feel like sokka would be a Light player, he seems the most tied to knowledge and truth, and Toph would be… i wanna say something of space, tbh, but im no good at classpecting. Aang , a page, i think? Of hope, maybe? Any thoughts?

Sokka as a Light player is hilarious to me because Light is luck and fortune as much as if not more than knowledge, and Sokka is pretty notoriously unlucky. One can so clearly see Sokka as a Light player in a Sburb session going "you know, some good fortune would be really fucking great right about now"

My working theory with Toph is a Witch of Space. It just seemed right.

I think Aang is one of the Master Classes, but whether that's a Lord or Muse, i'm not sure. He the whole thing of being the Avatar strikes me as him being a Heart player though

#response #other interests #homestuck

[teddybeirin]

Honey, I know you're scared but you're lucky you have people outside the abusive circle who love you. I had nobody. Maybe you need to take a leap of faith and ask them for help, truly. You can't keep living like this. Just now it's a kind of awful stop gap but don't let it become permanent. I know you have to be careful rn but this is no way to be living. I know you want to protect those who love you because you love them but something has to give. You're going to have keep your wits about you and figure out your next move, but I know this is easier said than done. But please don't give up. Your mom is a monster. Don't let her win. That's why she's doing this because by leaving you managed to gain the upper hand and as bullies don't like this, she's upping the ante. She is a sick fuck and a coward. If you have somebody or people who may be prepared to help you, who are aware of the situation and possible danger presented by your mom, who are prepared to get you out of there PROPERLY and on your feet and give you that time to get cleaning job or whatever - you seem very hardworking etc - then take your chance, sweetheart.

I'm sorry for the long letter but I had no help and it nearly killed me. But I got out by skin of my teeth because I knew I was doomed anyways if I stayed. But you have your safety and others safety to consider I know. I just hope and will you to get out for good, to not give up.

i am lucky, this is true the people who love me have changed my life for the better in ways i cant even put into words. i can say honestly that enduring this long has been worth it just for the warmth from my loved ones, who feel so much more like family than blood-family there are limits to what you can do for someone when you live oceans away. there are limits to what you can do, when you are struggling yourself. there are limits to what you can do with regards to money, energy, time, level of risk taken on. if my loved ones could have scooped me up out of here a la prince on a white horse im completely certain they would have done so already i cant go back to the place i lived before even knowing the favorable circumstance w/ regards to that. my mother was completely confident about coming to take me back, she knows the address, itd be a repeat of the same - probably not even waiting for an excuse if im very unlucky. i can't afford to take a leap of faith the worst that can happen is not that someone would say no - it's that someone would decide for me that the way to go is to involve the authorities, which isnt safe for me so long as i am here with nowhere else i can go, at a moment's notice or otherwise. it is hours to the nearest shelter. even if i were out of here, even if i decide i dont give a goddamn if they get into trouble for their own evil choices, i cant afford to take anyone to court, and even if everyone believed me and i didnt end up as yet another villainized abuse victim, it still wouldnt make me any more secure in having a place to live, and it isnt a means to gaining housing. not only that, there's more to take into account: what happens when my mother who is pretending to be not evil is no longer constantly watching what the workers who care for my sibling do to someone who the authorities will never believe? if that doesnt make sense for being too vague, i can say what i mean more clearly by tying it to something else: opportunistic predatory adults outside my home took advantage of me every time i let it slip that nobody gave a shit what happens to me. it's important to maintain the illusion of having people who care about what happens to you if you dont want people to take advantage of the easiest target in clear view. unless i can personally be someone who they know to fear consequences from, breathing down their necks, there will be consequences for unraveling my mother's webs of lies. they already don't treat my sibling as they should. it's not only my own safety i risk with every mistake. even if i decide to say fuck it, seek the help of others even though i know wherever i go if my family finds me they will do their best to do more harm, including to people who help me, it's not just the weight of guilt for that - but for my siblings, only one of which has escaped completely and isnt in any danger from family anymore, the other is totally and completely still at their mercy despite physically not living in the same house anymore, and nobody counts his words for anything because he's intellectually disabled - even when the authorities get involved, which they have been too many times for me to even count anymore, nobody believes him or me or maybe they just didnt care, either way, the outcome is the same.

even if i tossed all that aside and shirked my sense of morality that i know is all tied up in misplaced blame and living under the gaslight since birth, i dont have room for mistakes for my own sake either. im already physically so fucked up from just under a month of not even the worst theyve done, if it escalates further, i dont know. ive managed to just walk off tons of blood loss before, but that was a miracle, and i was more well-fed then. there's nowhere for me to go if i fuck up and don't have another place to go lined up.

my work went up in flames, i have no income right now and have to figure that out running on less than empty, and i have the option of trying to raise funds for escape again but again, it's more than money constraints, i have to figure out so many things and none of these decisions are small

ive promised my loved ones repeatedly im not going to give up, and i dont feel like breaking it at all. im going to keep trying. but it's really, really, really not a matter of willpower. i have that in spades.

im glad that you got out and i hope that you remain safe for the rest of your life and never ever have to endure abuse again. i know that everything you say comes from the heart and from a good place, of wanting me to be well, and of rooting for someone whose struggle you see your own in - i dont want to discount that by talking about how impossible everything looks right now for me, at all!!

i wish i could come up with a better reply. i dont want to go "so true, will do!!" when i know all the reasons i cant do, you taking the time to encourage me is so meaningful to me that i want to be nothing but sincere.

[a-dragons-journal]

Hello! Hopefully you haven't gotten an ask like this before (and forgive me if you have) but for quite some time I've been kinsidering a kitsune? I may not be a kitsune, I just feel like I may be some kind of animal diety/spirit creature and so far kitsunes resonate with me the most.

However, im not sure if being kitsune kin is cultural appropriation as im black, not Japanese. I absolutely wouldn't want to do anything disrespectful like that and if that were the case I wouldn't even bother researching/kinsidering it further and confirming a possible new kin type. (assuming I am one!)

Anyway, I really like your blog, you always seem so sweet and welcoming in the community. thank you for your time if you answer this, have a nice day. ♡

obligatory "I am white as hell, these are opinions I've formed from listening to POC talk about this and talking about it with them, I am open to discussing them further" disclaimer.

Short version: as far as I know, the culture kitsunes are from is not a closed one; therefore faithful information on it is available to the public, therefore you have the resources necessary to be accurate in calling yourself a kitsune or not, therefore you're fine. The reason kintypes from closed cultures are a problem is not because anyone's claiming you can't have the experiences you're having, it's that chances are extremely good that the version of the creature you're basing your label off of is an appropriative, bastardized one, therefore calling yourself that is reinforcing that appropriation.

Long version, copy-pasted and edited from an older post:

So, there’s exceptions to the “being otherkin is not cultural appropriation” thing, but the rule that makes sense to me and that I’ve been working under is this: the only time a kintype can be “appropriated” is if it’s from a closed culture that doesn’t share stories about that kintype with outsiders, and thus whatever ideas the person has about that kintype that’s led them to label their identity as that creature are wrong, and that’s the appropriation - the fact that they’re (likely inadvertently, but still) using and spreading a bastardized, appropriative understanding of the creature, when the actual mythos of that creature doesn’t actually match their experiences and is thus a mislabel.

The most infamous example: “w*ndigokin” frequently being skulldeer cryptids, which is not what that creature actually is, because it’s from a closed culture that doesn’t share stories about it with outsiders and thus the public idea of what it is is wrong and appropriative.

To my knowledge, and please somebody correct me if I am wrong about this, this is not true for kitsunes, or other creatures from Japanese mythos. The information about what a kitsune is and the stories around them are, as far as I know, freely available to anyone who goes looking (I’m sure there’s weird misinformation out there, because It’s The Internet, but the correct information is out there, which isn’t true of, say, w*ndigos). Therefore, more than likely if someone has done the research and is calling themself kitsunekin, they actually do match what a kitsune is mythologically speaking at least to some degree.

And, assuming that is the case (that is, that they do match faithfully and it’s not a mislabel)… as far as I can see, you can’t really call someone having an experience that’s generally not something they chose to experience “appropriation.” Appropriation is an action you take - being otherkin is, generally speaking, not. You can call it “inappropriate” as much as you want, but it is not going to change the fact that someone is experiencing shifts, instincts, memories/noemata, dysphoria and euphoria, etc. that match with a kitsune’s description. It seems both strange and pointless to me to try to argue that someone isn’t allowed to label themself with the label that clearly is accurate because they were unlucky enough to be born in a different culture.

I do agree with the statement that someone’s experience of otherkinity is influenced by their culture and life experiences - but that doesn’t mean that other influences can’t also be present, or that their species can only come from those life experiences. How many of us had the experiences of nonhumanity we do before we ever encountered records of our species? How many fictionkin are there out there who had their experiences of fictionality before their source media was even published, much less before they had the chance to encounter it? To claim that it’s not possible to have a kintype that isn’t part of your personal culture and life experiences is to not only flatly ignore the fact that people do in fact sometimes match up with kintypes from other cultures, but also to imply ignoring those experiences. That it’s not as likely? Sure, it probably isn’t. That it requires more careful research to ensure you’re not getting a misrepresented idea of what the creature is? Absolutely. That it’s not possible, or that it’s somehow appropriative despite being a typically-involuntary experience? That doesn’t follow through.

(…Now, there’s more room to argue about whether it’s appropriative to choose to form/reinforce an identity as a kitsune (or whatever else), but a) I frankly don’t feel qualified to have that discussion and b) it would be kind of derailing from the point of this post, so let’s perhaps save that for another conversation.)

More conversations on this in this tag, for your perusal.

#otherkin #otherkin and cultural appropriation #kitsunekin #rani talks #asked and answered #anonymous