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dittolicous · 1 year

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i think im having my midlife crisis. cuz time is passing so fast and im just... so tired. so tired of spending everyday miserable and stressed and hoping tomorrow will be better, when it never is.

i dont want to have to struggle for another 10 years just to get a simple little home that isnt infested with roaches or has rats in the walls. i want to be able to get up in the morning to drink coffee and watch the news. see kids walking to school. learn to sew. go fishing every now and again. own a car. be able to sleep without fretting over which bill to pay before cutoff.

i. i dont feel like ill ever escape. the community around me doesn't care because im not homeless of suffering enough, because i can still work even if im a husk of a human. because everyone has to work or die. work or die.

ive spent thr last few days pouring over applications, loan possibilities, houses, financial aid, bills, etc. no jobs have reached back to me except scams or ones that are basically downgrades from what i already do. i look and i look and i look, i used that suggested google jobs thing, but all the good jobs are off the island, require 10000 years experience, have no benefits, or are all work that i utterly despise. i dont qualify for loans and make too much for financial aid.

and they always say the same thing. get rid of your pets (as if rehoming is even cheap or easy), get rid of internet, make sacrifises sacrifices and more sacrifices. get up at 4am to wait in food bank lines for old meat, leftover produce, and stale cake. constantly plead to strangers and justify your life. because thats just life! your not allowed to have nice things when youre poor, dont you know? if you do, then thats wasting money and we wont help you. you deserve what you get because happiness comes with money.

i just want out. and i guess jokes on them. if i rehome my pets, well, that would mean id finally be free to off myself. because im sorry to say, but theyre the only thing that holds me back. i hate this world. i wasnt built to survive here. i dont have any passions or drive or... anything.

i dont know why im here. just to suffer and be miserable until im too old and weak to work, to die alibe in a ditch.... i dont have anything worth anything.

and what makes me fucking laugh! is that the last time i went to my psych appointment i was like. i cant do this! im tired of being tired! and they pushed me to try their therapy again and that theyd get a case worker to call me and to think of all things i can change instead of what i cant... i agreed but was open with how i didn't have much faith in the system. how they failed me in the past and that makes me wary.

that was two weeks ago.

case worker never called me. therapist never called me. i cant change anything.

all because of stupid fucking bills and checks and jobs and money because no one deserves to live happy!

ill never escape. ill never have a live worth living. i dont have anyone to go to the movies or amusement parks with, no one who would drop by for coffee and a chat, no one to go to cons with. im just a little icon on a blue website. if i died tomorrow, if my queue ended... no one would mourn me not really. no one would cry. because im just broken and incapable of making genuine connections. id just be another quiet blog, a blip in the radar.

#ditto rambles #negative /#not becayse people here arent great but cuz im fucking nothing #im an a void in flesh #i am an empty flask #suicide ideation ///#i guess #whatever #im tired #long post #cant remember how to read mre #i hate everything i hate my job i hate my life i hate that im not good enougb to reach out and build bonds #i wish i was more broken more trash so at least theyrd understand how i feel!#but instead ill just #work until i die alone

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bugbbear · 2 years

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strangers

my college campus is pretty diverse. at least, its more diverse than my home town, which to be fair isnt saying much, but anyway.

you get people from every background imaginable. we've got a big international program so a lot of my classmates are here on student visas and are going back to their home country when theyre done.

that being said. frat boys (the bad kind) are everywhere.

and today, after playing like 5 hours of starbound, i decided hey imma go for a nice walk outside to get some fresh air.

not even two minutes in this group of frat bros walks out of a nearby dorm. theyve got a microphone and one of them was wearing a portable speaker, and they started just sayin shit. targeted shit. at the people on the sidewalk in front of them.

i was wearing headphones so i didnt hear if they said anything about me. but i did speed up walkin bc theres no way a group of frat bros with a microphone can mean anything good for a trans guy.

then i heard someone running and this black girl pulls up beside me and says "Hi I don't know you you don't know me but those guys were freaking me out so I'm going to pretend we're friends okay?"

i had barely gotten my headphones off to hear that, this girl talked so fuckin fast, but i said "yea dude sure" and we speedwalked away from them together.

her name was Ri Ri (i think. she talked very fast and my ass has an auditory processing disorder i was tryin my best) and she was a freshman. she told me that she had gone 18 years without being accosted or catcalled on the street and this broke her streak.

we talked about financial aid and different kinds of pie and where we grew up until we got to her dorm. she asked for my snap, and when i said i didnt have one, she said "Oh. Well see you never or see you again I guess." then she thanked me and she was gone.

and im trying to process this. and like, i helped someone by not really doing anything.

i was going that direction anyway. all i had to do was take off my headphones and make small talk for like 5 minutes.

but that helped her. i was her safety. hell, i passed enough that i was the safety barrier between a black girl and five white frat bros.

i didnt do anything. i didnt initiate the conversation, i didnt take any kind of active role. i was just there.

but i guess sometimes thats all someone needs.

i dont know if theres a point to this story. i just thought it was worth sharing.

#i read that 'today you tomorrow me' post today and i guess it did something to the universe #bug squeaks #today you tomorrow me

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the-hoziest-archive · 2 years

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the way i try to talk to people about capitalism and feeling like i have no right to actually. talk about work bc im barely able to work like in terms of employment i am definitely Not Doing Well At All i guess i dont thrive only under Pressure to Perform and not be Fired bc i can't even get thru a probation period!!!!!! which like. isn't even my fault. maybe if they don't want me to do a bad job they should give me a job made for robots!!!!!!! i am not a fucking robot!!!!!! i thrive under I Like Bringing People Foods and Apologising For Things That Are Not My Fault (literally though like it just isn't fam) like if they're nice I'm genuinely apologetic if they're a dick i am a pro at diplomacy. it's fun!!!! and really. im going up to people like HI IT'S MY FIRST DAY and then they're like no oh god im so sorry oh no oh god (for legal purposes this is a joke)

but ok what's a girl to do i am once again asking for your financial aid. anyway i don't even care that whatever happened happened because it's all good. it's all good. first im going after the dwp then nhs england. like i love this version of mine. i don't think that sometimes it's PAINFUL to deal with people that are either stupid or really bad at acting dumb????? very looks into the camera like im on the office vibes.

but fuck i am so much happier. and again. i have the privilege of *check notes* armenian parents. who have the privilege of *check notes* immigrating due to poverty and post war chaos. like, babygirl we have all paid the price of that privilege but ok. i do. one phone call and next day ticket home. mom im tired etc.

so i don't know how to tell my friends “im telling you as a person who cares about you what i learned the hard way multiple times, anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.” literally looking at it for 4 years now. and i do forget but. i can't help but look at myself as a person living on benefits in the same way everyone else is looking at me. like those who are Judging and the rest who know how awful the system is. i keep saying i am motivated by spite and the carefree stubborn spirit of a 2 year old. i feel like even every time i say anything that is about the way i hate Work like. no i love working! i hate Work! sunday was a 4 hour serotonin high and im addicted to that shit. i just. my desire to help vs my hatred of unsolicited advice. idk my mum told me one thing some years ago and she was right.

#emma.txt #enjoy my communist comedy special

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tuliptiger · 1 year

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i would personally skip the gym membership; they're overly expensive and often an extremely hostile environment to homeless ppl. when you want to shower, just get a motel room for a night or use public facilities if they're available. you will save a lot of money and stress this way, speaking from experience. with a motel room you'll get a private place to sleep, shower, brush your teeth, shave, etc etc. if you live somewhere with campgrounds, look into those too. see which ones are cheap and allow you to bring your car onto the actual site. if you're going to camp illegally in the wilderness, invest in a flare gun in case you get hurt/stranded. regardless of what you're doing, get some type of self defense (pepper spray, taser, or gun; a knife can only do so much) and a good first aid kit!!! learn how to use both effectively. good luck if you do decide to go car living 👍

Hey I just want to say thank you so much for this advice and reaching out to me. I really appreciate the care that went into this.

It's helped me plan a little bit in advance I think I am actually going to go for it in February or March. I rented a storage unit for my stuff, ordered some things like an electric charger and some solar panels for my electronics and work stuff, and I'm getting my car set up this month in preparation.

I did check out my local gyms though and one is actually pretty normal. It's only 45 a month, I can go in whenever shower, exercise and get water plus they have soaking pools which is a nice bonus. The best thing is it's month to month unlike the other two that require at least 6 months of membership. I am just really lucky where I live for this honestly theres a hot springs outside of town that sell all day soaking passes (they have free coffee tea fruits and packaged breakfast items too) and they also have showers. That one is 20 for an all day pass and theres a second one for 10 dollars in the spring and summer months.

I also have a ton of campgrounds around me, some with showers some without and a lot of national forest land I can camp at for free and 100% legally and 100% free. I have an emergency car kit too through gifts from friends and family and my own purchases so I should also be good on that front.

I've been checking in with unemployment, local charities etc too and it seems theres a lot of help out there and a lot of free food stuff that gets donated and given out to people who qualify. I'm really hoping this won't be too bad. I'm privileged enough to have a car a job right now honestly I'd never be able to do this without my car.

*I would like to add for maybe the people who assume the worst in people. I'm doing this as a choice and not because I'm forced into it but I am also doing this before I THINK I will be forced into it. I don't owe you an explanation at all (not talking to the asker, you are a sweetheart and once again I appreciate your message).

I'm a seasonal worker for the Forest Service and when the season ends that's it. I'm also not a permanent employee at the moment so my employment is not guaranteed. I am lucky in a lot of ways I'm able to even attempt what I'm doing as a choice. I get it, a lot of people have it worse than me but comparisons are useless and do people little good. I bring home less than 24,000 after taxes for a full time job during the swing of the season and the season only last 6 months so strike that in half for 12000 a year if I don't take an off season job. I have rent(at the moment) bills like my car and internet(soon to be gone) food etc etc.

Im trying to get my house built on a piece of land me and my mom went into together as a total monthly payment of 420 which was a steal. I'm trying to set myself up for success and I am poor and this is, in my eyes the best financial decision I can make right now.

Thanks to all those who read this, I will keep posting as regular though when I'm out of my house.

#words #homelessness #homeless

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marcholasmoth · 2 years

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OSRR: 2958

we live in interesting times.

i found out about the queen in a normal way today. i got an email from the new york times because im signed up for daily updates from the world because intelligence analysis requires it, and i saw it and immediately opened it and ta-da, queen's gone.

i spent most of my day working on that commission again. after having taped a large quantity of scrap paper together into a big sheet yesterday, i cut it apart so i can draw grids and duplicate the pieces on a bigger scale. last night i traced the pieces onto 1/8" graph paper, and i scaled it up so each of those squares, on the big one, is 1½". 12 times bigger. this thing is going to be enormous and im so excited about it.

i've done three pieces so far and i finished the grid for the side, which is the biggest piece. then i have small ones left to do and that's it. so that's exciting. it's nice to be making progress. more time will be spent stitching than anything, but at least once it's all cut out and i can tough up the edges with the anti-fraying glue or whatever it'll be good to go with me wherever i travel.

i'm excited. i'm gonna make this giant plushie and i'm hype.

anyway, my day was pretty good until i got joel.

he got let go today :(

he'd been crying when i got him, and that made me really sad. seeing joel cry hurts a lot and i just wanna hold him for a thousand years.he deserves a better job anyway. but the good news is they're giving him severance, so that'll help us until he can get a new job. hopefully this time it'll be something he enjoys and that has upward mobility.

joel deserves so much.

he's also going to talk with a school about financial aid, so he might be able to get a scholarship and go back to school full-time so he can finish his bachelor's degree in cybersecurity. i would love to work at the same place with him. we could get lunch together 🥺 i would love that a lot. it would also save on gas.

anyway. since we don't have to get up at 7 tomorrow, joel is downstairs playing games with his friends and i am in bed because i am sleepy. gonna maybe read something and go to sleep.

#molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #2000s #2900s #sunshine boy

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heftbyjapanesebreakfast · 4 years

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i committed to a school this is kinda exciting but i also feel like sobbing

#im like.... gonna be college student this is scary 😳😳#and im getting good financial aid which is really nice !!#aahhhh !!! i really hope i dont have to go to school from home by august #i never even really considered this school which is funny #i wanted to go more up the coast near san fran/ the bay area #but i think this school is reallt nice and i might dorm w my best friend !!!#m

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weirdmageddon · 3 years

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good lord what a fucking stressful day

driving up to class there was a truck in front of me for like ten straight minutes that was going 19 mph on a 35 mph road and there was a car behind me and i could just feel his pain too. it was taking all my mental effort to not blare my horn. soon as that fucking truck turned onto another road i pressed down so fucking hard on the gas pedal to get across the message to the cars behind me that i was pissed off we had to go that slow and that it was not my decision like sort of an apology to them like “you saw that fucking guy?? im not gonna keep putting you through that”

then when i got out of class i drove to the bookstore and was told i have no funds in my account to buy books and that i need to go to financial aid office. then i got anxious because nobody there knew where it was (i dont live on-campus so idk either) and i couldnt find any answers online because the map wasnt loading.

so then i looked at one of those “you are here” maps around campus and saw that financial aid was on the other side of route 41/tamiami trail (left side of campus). so i waited at that stupid light for 5 minutes and once i got to the other side i had to find a place to park which was annoying, and i still couldnt find the stupid office. i asked inside the first building i saw and the lady said it was across the road (pointing to the OTHER road, not route 41) so i walked over there. didnt look like the financial office but i checked anyway and it was locked, (and it wasnt the financial aid office). btw i’m in florida if it’s not obvious by “tamiami trail” and i have a heat intolerance (im 99.99% certain i have POTS, all i need is an official diagnosis but i havent had the appointment yet) and i started getting really fatigued and i was sweating my ass off and couldnt think straight and i felt that i was starting to get teary.

so im trying to find this stupid office in this oppressive heat. with a heat intolerance. and wearing a mask which made it feel a lot harder to get in air. i tried to ask this random kid but i broke down in front of him because i couldnt hold my shit together over something so minor as being unable to find this fucking office and i bet he thought i was insane or mentally unstable and i realized this so i was apologizing to him. when i inhaled it was so loud they were like gasps and i couldnt do anything about it and it made me so embarrassed...like the kinda gasps people do after running for their life. not quite hyperventilation because it wasnt fast but whenever i took in air it was like a sharp wheeze 😭 like my throat was so tight the air getting squeezed through it made a loud noise

so idk i think i maybe had a panic attack outside because i couldnt find this motherfucking financial aid office in this 90°F 70% humidity weather where it feels like 104°F so i could barely breathe to begin with and no one had given me good directions. then i involuntarily began holding my breath because it was embarrassing to be making loud sobbing gasps while walking.. which made it even harder to breathe but at least i wasnt drawing attention to myself.

i walked over to the student recreation center to get into the air conditioning and get some water. i sat down and i noticed i was STILL involuntarily holding my breath. they’re not breath-holding spells like babies do, like i dont do it until i get blue in the face but it’s sort of an automatic response as though to not make any noise? but it’s really involuntary it kinda becomes my default mode of breathing instead of normal respiration (anyone else do this when crying btw?? i tried looking it up but all i got was breath-holding spells in babies)

so taking few minutes while trying to calm down i took my phone out and searched for the financial aid center’s location on google and i still got nothing descriptive. i asked a more students around if they know where it is, one said he didnt know, and i was about to leave but near the exit there were like 4 students playing billiards and i asked them if they knew where it was. and i think one of the kids knew me from middle or high school because he remembered me and looked sort of familiar and said “sara are you okay” and i broke Again and i felt absolutely pathetic, but they ended up actually helping me this time find it and were really nice. turns out it WAS on the online campus map the whole time but i overlooked it because it was labeled “Palmer D / Financial Aid” and my tunnel vision ass just did not even recognize it because i was looking at the first letters going down the key list. and i felt so stupid. all of that for nothing. i couldve just stayed parked where i was for class earlier on the other side of tamiami trail. then i trudged back through the heat to my car and thats when i turned from feeling lost and panicky into frustrated and irritable because i KNEW where i needed to go but it felt like everything around me was so goddamn slow. i had to wait at that light for the full 5 minutes again because it turned from green to yellow just as i was driving up to it.

once it was green, i pulled back into that parking lot i was in at the beginning of the day and walked into the financial aid office and actually got something accomplished. i filled out a form (that they never made clear last year due to covid 🙄) which makes my bookstore funds automatically deposited and i helped walk a freshman who came in through the exact same steps after i finished mine. so that made me feel a little better.

at this point i was so full of adrenaline and cortisol and i acutely noticed how fucking DISGUSTING it was outside, the air was so muggy and it was overcast and like 90°F just an absolute swamp ass jungle. and i got back into my car and waited at that fucking tamiami light AGAIN and some stupid lady was like one whole ass car space behind the light so i couldnt turn into the right lane until it turned green and i was sittingthere for 5 mins just WAITING for this idiot to pull forward. then i waited at ANOTHER 5 minute light immediately after that before being able to actually drive home. just so many minor inconveniences all throughout my day that made everything feel so much worse.

i’ve been home for 4 hours at this point, i already showered but my body still feels like it’s full of stress hormones. my body is actually still has very minute tremors from all the stress. great start to the semester already.

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zahroreadsthings · 2 years

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I posted 2,161 times in 2021

1306 posts created (60%)

855 posts reblogged (40%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.7 posts.

I added 1,166 tags in 2021

#emily rodda - 200 posts

#deltora quest - 158 posts

#zahro reads dq3.2 - 120 posts

#tamsyn muir - 116 posts

#the locked tomb - 111 posts

#s&b lb - 102 posts

#zahro reads dq3.3 - 99 posts

#zahro reads dq2.3 - 93 posts

#bad book club - 88 posts

#zahro reads splintered 1 - 79 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i refuse to read autobiographies and memoirs! i know there are good ones out there that i might even like! im not out here saying theyre all

My Top Posts in 2021

Zahro do you have any recs for books that have come out in the past couple years that are must reads, I'm in a reading slump and I need inspiration!!

hannah we are FINALLY replying 6 weeks later!! i'm going for published after 2018

first off read the abyss surrounds us already

Girl, Serpent, Thorn - Melissa Bashardoust (2020). I think the author said it was a retelling of sleeping beauty but it felt more like rapunzel to me (also fun fact the oldest version of a rapunzel story is set in persia). But anyway set in historic Persia, a princess who's poisonous to the touch is hidden away in the palace until she finds a way to break her curse, but she accidentally puts her entire family in danger doing so. Bonus romance with a nice demon lady.

Mexican Gothic - Silvia Moreno-Garcia (2020). A socialite receives a letter from her cousin saying her husband's trying to poison her and there are voices in the mansion's walls, so she packs up and heads over to a probably-haunted mansion full of people who actively dislike her.

Thorn - Anna Burke (2019). Sapphic retelling of beauty and the beast, with elements from both grimm's and disney which I thought was neat. That's really all you need to know about it lmao

Compass Rose - Anna Burke (2018). 26th century swashbuckler. Compass Rose's uncannily accurate sense of direction lands her a spot on a mercenary crew deep in pirate territory.

Fire Country - Victor Steffensen (2020). This is a departure from everything else on this list but SUCH a fascinating read. Part memoir and part Indigenous land management. Delves into the role of fire in Australia's history as a means of both cultural connection to land and the country's health.

The Poppy War - R. F. Kuang (2018). If you see someone mark this YA just hit them. Inspired by 20th century China. Protagonist gets herself into an elite military school on a scholarship and life sucks. She discovers she has an aptitude as a shaman right about the time war breaks out.

The Midnight Lie - Maria Rutkoski (2020). Nirrim keeps her head down to stay safe in a part of the city that enforces sumptuary laws but begins exploring life outside her caste with a mysterious, sly traveller named Sid who asks to not be trusted.

Cemetery Boys - Aiden Thomas (2020). Yadriel performs a ritual to prove himself as a brujo and find the ghost of his missing cousin when his family has trouble accepting his gender. He ends up accidentally summoning the ghost of Julian Diaz, who won't go away until Yadriel finds out what happened to him.

You Should See Me In a Crown - Leah Johnson (2020). Liz Lighty always believed she was too poor, too black, and too awkward to participate in the prom scene but takes a shot at the prom queen scholarship when the financial aid she was counting on for college falls through.

This Is How You Lose the Time War - Amal el-Mohtar, Max Gladstone (2019). Two rival agents in a sci-fi time travel war try to one-up each other but eventually fall in love. It's my everything.

69 notes • Posted 2021-05-30 09:48:24 GMT

Harrow’s mouth briefly ruckled. “A necromancer alone can’t bring that down, Griddle. That’s regenerating bone.”

“I’m not running, Harrow!”

“Of course we’re not running,” said Harrowhark disdainfully. “I said a necromancer alone. I have you. We bring hell.”

“Harrow—Harrow, Dulcinea’s a Lyctor, a real one—”

“Then we’re all dead, Nav, but let’s bring hell first,” said Harrow.

you know.

69 notes • Posted 2021-11-13 10:46:04 GMT

Gonna post my 'deltora is australia turned 90 degrees' conspiracy soon

98 notes • Posted 2021-10-21 09:57:05 GMT

If lief has million number of fans i am one of them . if lief has ten fans i am one of them. if lief have only one fan and that is me . if lief has no fans, that means i am no more on the earth . if world against lief, i am against the world. i love #lief till my last breath.. .. Die Hard fan of lief . Hit Like If you Think lief Best boy & Smart In the world

126 notes • Posted 2021-08-03 10:27:05 GMT

thanks muir

338 notes • Posted 2021-02-06 23:40:59 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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ct-69-420 · 2 years

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Jack Rats

Part One of my Clone Wars/Bad Batch-era OCs! Characters covered in this one: Vesa, Madds, Kez, and Zuli.

This post might get a little long so

Vesaseh “Vesa” Rumrraahk

She’s one of my favorites! Vesa is the one who can pick up Crosshair and swing him around no problem. She’s not as strong as Wrecker, but she’s pretty buff!

holds her liquor really well

somewhere between 6′2 and 7 feet tall (maybe 9 feet but I haven’t decided yet). she’s actually pretty short by her species standards

gets along with wrecker really well

comes from a pretty well-off family. she was very sheltered as a kid which means she’s now gullible and holds a lot of her parents’ more conservative views, but she’s opening up and slowly becoming a socialist based solely on her interactions with the war

causes problems/mischief on purpose. she is chaos incarnate

once convinced a group of clones that she couldn’t read but was still a certified medic

you know those tiktoks with the MCR song “Teenagers” sound? She is very much that sound. The whole team is.

you can’t see in this picrew but she has fangs

Maddulis “Madds” Thellil

This character is actually largely based on a real life friend of mine, especially in appearance. Some facts about Madds:

im gonna brag about her name because i put a lot of thought into it. No idea what world/language it comes from, but it comes from an ancient masc name “Addu” meaning gentle, and “lis” roughly meaning the one/that one/that person. So her name means “gentle one”

she once beat Crosshair in a sniping competition. It was purely on luck and a technicality, but she’ll never let him live it down

was planning on joining the army prior to the war (but got turned away)

married her best friend for tax benefits and financial aid reasons

can get along with anyone. she’s super nice and she’s a social butterfly

somehow earned enough of Hunter’s trust to braid his hair. She’s gotten a lot of practice with curly hair through Hunter!

learned to shoot from her dad and ex-boyfriends

she’s a good dancer too

Kezrayth Thellil

cough cough self insert cough

No but seriously, Kez is very much my indulgent self-insert character. He allows me to explore my trauma/fears/thoughts/emotions and also date Tech.

taught himself Mando’a, sign language, and a couple other languages when he was stuck in the hospital with nothing to do

undecided major before the war started. Then he joined the GAR

Autistic/ADHD! Hunter once called him a “half-baked Tech” but Kez argued that would also make him a half-baked Hunter, seeing as he’s also light/sound/smell sensitive

designated driver. Kez doesn’t drink (sober at least a year now!) but doesn’t mind being in a bar or around alcohol

somehow manages his way in the criminal underworld. but he’s still a total softie; he usually apologizes to droids when he has to shoot them

cannot shoot. Madds is a sharpshooter, but Kez has terrible eyesight and needs to be pretty close in order to get a good hit. He still prefers blasters over knives, though

he’s the one that proposed to Madds that they get married for financial aid. he also made their rings

Zuli Zarcana

Originally I wasn’t basing Zuli off of anyone, but now... yeah. she’s based slightly on another friend of mine, mostly in how laid-back and artsy she is:

possibly Pantoran? I haven’t decided I’m not sure what she is just yet but for now we’ll say she’s human she is officially human I think!

short and petite, but chubby!

she’s an actual doctor. The only real medic on the team - and she’s usually stuck somewhere else tending to injured clones

she isn’t actually part of their unit, but she’s friends with them so she’s an honorary member

Full Time Mom Friend

she’s an artist! she’s really good, too, but her parents were very strict and didn’t consider art to be “real work” so she went into the medical field instead

close friends with Fives

she also studied a bit of psychology. she’s neurotypical but she understands Kez and Madds well. also part-time Therapist Friend

voice of reason

Other fun facts:

the term “Jack Rat” is one they coined themselves, similar to how the Bad Batch chose theirs. They got called rats as an insult, and mixed it with Jack of All Trades, since their work is so mixed and varied. Jack Rats!

their ship is a light cargo freighter. It’s livable, too. It’s called the Brick Szarlotka, or just Szarlotka, after a dessert from Madds and Kez’s home. (szarlotka is actually a kind of Polish apple pie, but we don’t have Poland in space)

neither Madds or Kez are actually fully trained to be medics. In fact, prior to the war, they probably wouldn’t be allowed to serve because of their mental illnesses, but desperate times call for desperate measures

they each know enough sign language to manage a non-verbal Kez. Kez knows the whole language, and Madds is the second best since she’s known him so long

they usually have at least one small stuffed animal/tooka doll with them. No one knows where they keep getting all their toys, but they’re always giving them to refugee children and will even use them to comfort clones. Wrecker’s favorite is a stuffed animal named Frinnigan who roars when you squeeze him

they’re all down for committing crimes. a lot of theft. (Vesa and Zuli are the most reluctant/nervous)

civvies are a love language. Everyone in the Batch has at least 2 outfits

it’s all chaos

(Picrews used: Vesa, Madds, Kez, and Zuli)

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aknosde · 3 years

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You know one thing i think is really interesting about the Percy Jackson fandom, is that no matter whether the work is cannon compliant or a high school au or something, people put Percy on the swim team. And I get it. I really do. I even buy into it. He’s a son of Poseidon. He’s connected to water. I’m pretty sure at one point in Heroes of Olympus he’s even described as having a swimmers body.

But do you know what sport Percy canonically plays? Basketball. It’s cannon that he was on a team some time in-between the Lightning Thief and the Titan’s Curse. And its cannon that he played long before the books started too. He brings it up a lot in the first series. And there isn’t a real reason for him to have stopped. (Besides maybe his injuries after Mt. St. Helens) In fact, I don’t think he did. I think it was something he really enjoys, something he found solace in during the last books of the first series, a healthier outlet then killing things, and a nice chance for him to get to know people.

Because here’s the thing, swim, while you are on a team, is an individual sport. Its all about you and your strength and your form. Which are obviously important things in all sports, but Percy isn’t out here fighting for himself, he’s fighting for other people, and I find it much more realistic for him to be playing with a team. Another point to my ‘Percy still playing basketball’ case (i guess?) is that he had a BIG fear of suffocating and specifically drowning after HOO, so why would he join a swim team? No, he’s going to go to something he knows, something that is safe, something that's less likely to send him into a panic attack. And yeah, there’s a lot of pros and cons to this, it’s not forcing him to overcome his fear, but it has other benefits.

My third and final point (idk if im trying to convince you, but just go with me) is that Percy wants to go to college. And he only learns about New Rome University later. And you know that Sally hasn’t been able to put extra money away for Percy’s education. They were living paycheck to paycheck for most of the first series, Paul is a teacher, and Percy probably gets a lot of aid to go to private schools (if they aren’t court mandated). We also know that while his grades are getting better during PJO, that he doesn’t have amazing marks. So if he wants to go to college he’s not getting academic scholarship. He might get some financial aid, and he probably has a job or two (we know he worked before tlt), but I’m betting that he was counting on an athletic scholarship. And like I said, he knows basketball, he’s probably pretty good at it, especially after his growth spurt. (Also I’m not completely sold on him living in New Rome, don't @ me, he’s an east coaster).

And as a poor kid, basketball is a very accessible sport, more so than skateboarding. All you need is a basketball, or even just the ability to take or borrow one. A hoop is very easy to jerry rig out of a crate or something. And he lived in Harlem. He grew up around it. He has a whole culture built around it. So Percy playing basketball? Percy using it to go to school? Percy reaching a professional level? That all seems likely to me.

tldr: It’s understandably odd that people put Percy on the swim team. In reality he’d probably do basketball, because he has a history of playing, as well as him being more team orientated, and his fear of drowning. Also because he’d need an athletic scholarship to go to college.

#i just watched the baylor vs. gonzaga game if youre wondering where this came from #also i know almost nothing about swim and marginally more about basketball #i stand by this though #i also kinda think he would go into nursing but thats another post for another time #this turned out much longer than i thought #percy jackson #long post #max.txt #pjo

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mooifyourecows · 3 years

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college anon here in case u wanted an update (im sorry its so long) !!

i took a gap year, so between that and being on lock down last year it was suuuuper draining. like. moreso than i actually expected, so im just recharging in my room with my dog away from people for a few hours lmao. but otherwise it was super cool!!

all of my profs are super nice and accommodating which is neat (i told them after each class that i was getting a legal name change and the general consensus was just “alright cool just email me when it’s finalized so i can get the roster/seating chart updated!”). as far as days i can miss, the school policy is only five days max per semester unless you’re quarantined unfortunately. but i’ll definitely make use of those! i need to maintain at least a C average to keep my financial aid, so im 100% going to use the student facilities for tutoring when i need it (especially as someone who’s struggled So Hard with math specifically).

and thank u for the encouragement by the way!! once i read it i actually got excited about being at school again, even if the new freedom was a bit overwhelming at first. i actually think thats one of the better parts about it now because everyone leaves you tf alone since they’re all doing their own thing. it’s so damn refreshing after petty high school drama lmfao. anyway!! i love u moo and thanks again it means a lot! i hope u have a good rest of your day :D💕

I'm glad things are going well so far! I hope that the rest of the semester goes super smoothly and you pass all your classes 🥰🥰🥰 I did really well in my college algebra class but haven't used real math in years so I'll be sending you all the good math vibes I got leftover 💪🧠

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alwaysycu · 4 years

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hi, everybody. i know it’s been awhile since i last came on here, and i never thought that i’d be making this kind of post for my first one back, but i really need some help.

since i started my first year at college last fall (2019), i knew i wouldn’t be that financially stable. my parents and i did not really start a savings account prior to my decision of going to college, so i basically registered with one foot in the gutter. though it sounds like a good thing, i did not qualify for any financial aid, despite the fact that me and my family are not financially stable to uphold $1000+ for my tuition every semester. i’ve pulled out a student loan for both my fall and spring semesters, but even then, my difference to pay out of pocket is well over $1000.

i do work (a minimum wage job, which 8.75 here on Guam ((im not sure if its different in the mainland)) but most of my paychecks go back to my parents to pay for insurance, groceries, etc and during this pandemic, i havent been able to work any hours because i work in F&B. my personal savings is barely enough and at this point, i’m in danger of getting kicked out of school.

i am well aware this is a shot in the dark, and everybody is struggling right now. but if y’all have even a dollar to spare, this is my paypal. if you want any other proof of my situation, feel free to DM me. anything helps.

i hope everyone remains safe during this crazy time. if you dont feel like donating, that’s perfectly fine, nobody is obligated to. but a nice reblog would be nice.

thank you all again, i love you guys!

- rhian

#financial help #college #college tuition #paypal #me

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tomsnovia · 4 years

Photo

As Long As You’re Happy - G.D.

Y/N POV

It was my first flight back to LA after being with my family for just a little over three months. Spending the holidays back at home was always something that I looked forward to every year. Now that I live thousands of miles away from home I try to take times like these to my advantage to catch up with my family and finally just spend time with everyone. But at this point I was ready to go home. Back to the warm and sunny Los Angeles. Back to the little friends that I have made throughout my couple of years being there. Back to my tall, handsome, 200 pound beefy boyfriend, Grayson Dolan.

Today was Valentine’s Day. A day where everyone is supposed to celebrate their relationships with their significant others. I never really cared for this day. I mean I did spend a good portion of my life single but that is besides the point. Valentines Day was just another day for me up until last year. Last Valentines Day I finally got to experience what all the hype is about. And lucky for me it just so happened to be with someone like Grayson.

A couple of years ago I moved to LA to finally be able to pursue my dreams. Sure I was just barely getting started in the YouTube business but I felt like I was finally at a point in my career where I could potentially live off of the earnings that I made through the platform. My family supported me of course. My parents being more than willing to help aid me in anything financially if I needed (thank the lord). But I took this as an opportunity to finally live my life the way that I wanted. To finally be out in the world as a strong, independent woman (even though I am still technically a teenager).

The first few months of me being in LA went by pretty smooth. I finally met up with some fellow content creators who I have grown fairly close to in such a short amount of time. But this one day.. Whew! This one day is where everything changed for me.

*flashback*

I had gotten invited to a little celebration dinner by my friend Kyle Houck. He had been working on a project with a few of his friends for about a month or so. Kyle and I hadn’t really talked to each other for a while prior to this invitation just because he had been so busy with helping a couple of people film for their channel. So I had absolutely no idea what this celebration dinner was for or why he even invited me.

I of course accepted (mainly because I had absolutely no plans that night other than to lay in bed and watch Netflix or whatever) and found myself dressing semi formal for the occasion. Kyle kept the details very vague. He just told me to dress “kinda fancy but like not too fancy”.

As soon as Kyle picked me up we wasted no time catching up with each other. I asked him what he had been up to and what he had been working on for the past month and he very excitedly told me that it was a documentary for his friends’ father. His friends who just so happened to be The Dolan Twins.

When I heard about the big project I felt.. a lot of things. One: Stoked and proud of Kyle. Two: like an absolute idiot that I had no knowledge of his relationship with a couple of very successful creators. I mean Kyle was my best friend.. How long was it since we last talked?.. Was I really living under a rock? UGH.

Once we finally arrived we met up with everyone who took part of the documentary.

“Hi,” I said as Kyle and I approached the twins.

“Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s my friend from back home who I’ve been talking about,” Kyle said.

“Oh right! We heard a lot about you! It’s nice to finally put a face to a name,” Ethan chuckled. “Im Ethan,” he said pulling me into a hug.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you,” I smiled hugging him back. The moment I let go of the hug my eyes immediately laid on what I believed to be one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever seen in my entire life. You know- not to be dramatic or anything..

“I’m Grayson,” he said also pulling me into a hug.

“It’s nice to meet you both. Congratulations on the documentary!” I said as we all made our way to the table. I sat next to Kyle, Grayson immediately sitting to my left. Ethan walked over to the other side of the table and sat next to a really pretty girl.

“I’m sorry I couldn't make it to the premier.. I didn't know that was a thing,” I said fixing my vision on Kyle.

“Im sorry! I completely forgot to mention it, my mind went straight to dinner” Kyle chuckled. I smiled and shook my head.

“So how have you been? How do you like LA so far?” Kyle asked as he took a sip of his drink.

“Uh.. well you know, its going okay I guess,” I shrugged. I had only been in LA for a couple of months and this technically is my first outing. I hadn't had much time to get out there because of all the unpacking, and my new found responsibilities taking over my life.

“If Im being honest, this is my first time actually going out since I moved in,” I said as I looked at the menu.

“No kidding?” Kyle asked.

“Kyle, you’re my only friend out here and you’ve been busy this whole time,” I chuckled.

“Fair enough,” he smiled. I skimmed over the menu trying to decide what I wanted to eat. For some reason my appetite completely vanished the second Kyle and I stepped foot into the restaurant.

I’ve never really been good at the whole socializing aspect of life. Being antisocial is sorta my cup of tea.

I sat there in silence, using the menu as an excuse for me not to talk. I was actually pretty focused until Grayson spoke up.

“So where are you from?” He asked as he put his menu down looking at me. If I’m being honest, the moment I made eye contact with Grayson my heart started to beat so fucking fast. His face lit perfectly despite the dim lighting in the restaurant. The way his hair slowly fell down the sides of his face when he would run his fingers through it. Oh what I would do to run my fingers through-

“Washington State,” I said quickly snapping out of my thoughts. “I just moved here a couple of weeks ago.”

“Oh wow! So you’re pretty new to the area?” He asked.

“Yeah.. which is why I haven't really had a chance to go out until tonight. I don’t know anyone besides Kyle here,” I chuckled.

Grayson smiled and nodded. “Well now you know me!”

_______________________________

The whole dinner went smoother than I thought it would. Grayson was very outgoing and easy to talk to and having Kyle there next to me helped ease the little tension I felt occasionally. The dinner was finally coming to an end and we were all getting ready to head home.

“Hey, what're you doing tomorrow?” Grayson asked looking down at me as we both stood up. I quickly took out my phone to check the date.

“Um.. nothing I guess?” I said looking up at him. “I’m most likely gonna end up unpacking some more stuff.”

“You want some help? We can go out to get some breakfast before or something?..”

YES ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PLEASE LETS-

“Sure!” I smiled up at him. “Is 9 o’clock okay? I need to sleep in at least a little bit,” I laughed.

“Sounds perfect,” Grayson smiled and bit his bottom lip. “Can I get your number?”

“Of course,” I said taking his phone. I added my name into his contact list as “Y/N :)” just a little something quirky. idk. I’m not good at this.

__________________________________

1 New Message

Grayson: 9 AM it is! Can’t wait to bring you to THE BEST breakfast place in LA. Goodnight Y/N 😊

Me: Can’t wait! Goodnight Grayson.

Grayson: You can call me Gray

Grayson: Only if you want to

Grayson: It's not a big deal if you don’t want to. I don’t want to make you do anything you don't want to do..

Grayson: Even if it is just a little nickname..

Grayson: Okay I’m sorry for the spam

I laughed.

Me: It’s okay! 😂 See you tomorrow. Goodnight Gray ☺️

Gray: Goodnight Y/N :)

_______________________________________

[ a/n: AHHHHHH here it is! the first part to my first series ahhhhhhh. idk how I feel about it tbh lol like I feel like its bad but im going to really take my time with this series just so I dont rush things. I genuinely want it to be good. pls let me know what you guys think. I won't take anything too harsh. ily all I hope you enjoyed even the tiniest bit ♥️

#As Long As You're Happy #Grayson Dolan #Grayson Dolan series #Grayson Dolan imagine #Grayson Dolan concept #dolan twins #dt #Dolan Twins series #Dolan Twins imagine #Dolan Twins concept #ethan dolan #Ethan Dolan series #Ethan Dolan imagine #Ethan Dolan concept

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wayward-pendragon · 4 years

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Ultimate taekook rec (pt.1??)!

Hello friends! Quarantine has a lot of us stuck inside so I’m gonna try and keep the fic recs comin and hopefully give y’all something to enjoy while we all stay home :) Taekook is one of my fav ships, I think their personalities fit really well and they are such a fun pair. All of these fic are from ao3 and they’re usually a little on the long side but I’ll throw in some short one-shots as well! This will likely be a pt1 bc i have soooo many taekook bookmarks on ao3. Let’s get started! (I have another BTS fic rec here if you would like more things to read!)

Bite Me by Curionenene, YeonAh

Summary: “Ho… Hoseok… my na- Ju-Jung Hoseok. Who— what…?”

On hindsight, maybe it wasn't the best idea to reveal your name to two lunatics who had fed you something from a blood bag at 11.54 pm in the middle of a quiet, isolated alleyway.

"Hoseok? Nice to meet you, Hoseok. I'm Kim Namjoon, and this is Kim Seokjin. Do you remember what happened to you?"

“I—”

“Seriously. Just tell him like I did you. It's like pulling off a band-aid, better fast than slow.”

A heavy sigh was Namjoon's response to Seokjin's interjection. "I think this is a bad idea, but alright. Hoseok, you nearly… well… you did die. I saved your life the only way I could. By turning you into a vampire."

On hindsight, maybe it was a really, really, really bad idea.

One unfortunate near-death later, Hoseok finds out a few things: One, vampires are real. Two, they don't sparkle. Three, a war is brewing and he's landed in the middle of it.

Or: AU in which Hoseok screams a lot

okay so I love this fic to the ends of the earth and back. It starts out as Hoseok centred when he is turned into a vampire but then starts to focus on other characters and storylines as well. The Taekook in this is very slow burn but seeing the evolution of their relationship killed me. This fic reads like a full ass novel and I highly highly recommend giving it a read.

refrigerator humming, chewing gum and instant karma by locks

Summary: Taehyung sets the flowers down on the dining table, plucking the card off the little holder. "Dearest Taehyung, just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you. I hope you're thinking about me too. Love--" he pauses and squints before cocking an eyebrow and pursing his lips. "Hyung, why is the boss of your little boy band gang professing his love for me?"

Yoongi drops the noodles on the floor with a loud curse as he burns his hand.

Or, Taehyung's been trying his hardest to avoid Yoongi's criminal life for a long ass time, but a cute kid and his infuriating father keep pulling him deeper into the mix.

Mob boss JK but soft mob boss with his son I cannotttt. Watching the evolution of Tae and JK’s relationship was hella cute and fun. Also taekook with kids is just so soft omggg.

cuz in a sky full of stars (i think i saw you) by wowoashley

Summary: taehyung always has bad ideas. and jeongguk thinks this might be the best.

Proposal AU!! Jungkook needs a guest to bring to the Namjin wedding and it seems like his assistant Taehyung is just the man for the job. This is so sweet but angsty near the end, honestly so goodddd.

maybe we’re all just fools by airplanewishes

Summary: Jeongguk likes to run. He’s never wanted anyone to run with him before.

Fake dating AU! Jungkook’s on the school track team and his mother is bothering him about dating someone which JK really doesn’t wanna do so that’s where Tae comes in. Honestly it’s hella cute but also hella angst, highly recommend.

cliff drop gradient by astringxnt

Summary: “somewhere along the way, we will all realize that we only start chasing the things that we were once given a taste of.”

(or, in which Jungkook and Taehyung get married to qualify for more financial aid.)

Weeee love fake dating AUs in this house. Basically Taekook need money so they get married but nothing really changes at first, but then they start to realize their feelings for each other :))

let me know by wowoashley

Summary: taehyung never wears a shirt

JK moves into an new home and his neighbour just happens to be Taehyung. Through this, JK goes on a journey to discovering he is attracted to Tae and it’s really good but angst w/ a happy ending.

Cinnamon Crisp by teatimetaemint

Summary: Jungkook needs his daily dose of cuddles and Taehyung likes to wear Jungkook's clothes. They don't care that alphas and omegas aren't supposed to be best friends.

SO MUCH FLUFF. Im not a huge ABO lover but this is such a sweet story and they care about each other sm it warms my heart. Childhood friends to lovers is also one of my weaknesses sooo.

Date Me by flywithtaetae (kimtaehyungs)

Summary: Taehyung flirts with the cute high school boy and relishes in the flustered reaction he gets for almost an entire year. But when the following year comes along, he finds himself choking on his own words.

One of the only shorter fics on this list and omgggggggggg it sooooo cuteeeeee.

I knew I loved you then (but you’d never know) by nutaella

Summary: 'You asked me to the store with you and your child, and now my distant relative we met thinks I'm married with a baby' AU

Another shorter one but its so sweet. Jungkook has a little bb son and Taehyung is helping his bestie raise his son and they get mistaken for a couple.

beep boop by vvpa

Summary: Taehyung’s gaydar is broken. Maybe. Probably, at least. Jungkook can’t really tell.

This one was so funny omgggggg. Its short but so wholesome and funny as hell I actually laughed out loud.

15.30 - Appointment: Kim Taehyung for Jeon Jeongguk (genital piercing) by PaperTigerBlackAndWhite

Summary: Taehyung makes a bet, the forfeit of which is getting his dick pierced.

He loses the bet.

Good thing the piercer has nice eyes. And face. And hands. Not so nice that he seems to keep laughing at Taehyung, but you can't have everything.

This one is also hilarious omg. Tae getting his dick pierced was never something I thought I would read but here we are. Warning, this has a lot of smut so if that’s not your thing don’t read.

You’re So Special by miniimin

Summary: Sometimes you find your soulmate in the form of a dirty kid on the playground. Sometimes it takes a little longer to figure it out, but that's okay - in the meantime, you have a best friend.

(Or: Jeongguk falls in love before he knows what the word means. Taehyung spends all his years teaching him.)

This is one of the absolute sweetest fics I have ever read. It follows Tae and Kook as they grow up from little kids to uni and its so sweet. If u want something wholesome and makes u feel things, read this.

Fall Asleep (Fall For You) by drannie

Summary: “They say when you fall in love you can’t fall asleep, but now that I’ve met you I feel like I finally can.”

A University AU where Jungkook and Taehyung become roommates. But Jungkook has insomnia and can't fall asleep with other people and Taehyung can't fall asleep alone.

oh boi is the angst real w/ this one. It is one of the best taekook fics on ao3 for a reason. I highly recommend giving this one a read.

Chemistry by taecheeks

Summary: “What’s your zodiac sign?”

“Virgo,” Jungkook responds without thinking. He frowns, glaring. “Why?”

“Hm, I can work with that,” Taehyung says. “I’m a Capricorn.”

“Fascinating. Now back to Chemistry -”

“Isn’t that what I was talking about?”

[Or, Jungkook just wants to get his tutoring sessions with the President's son over with. Taehyung just wants to get his cute tutor under him.]

This one is longgggggg. Basically JK tutors Tae and everything progresses from there. Honestly this fic has a lot of elements to it and I really just love it. It deals with a lot of different themes like child abuse, panic attacks, and many other things so if any of that upsets you, this fic may not be done for you. The entire series is is really cute tho plz read.

fever started long ago by thestarsabove

Summary: Where there is love, there is warmth. Where there is honesty, there is relief.

In which Taehyung eats a magical fortune cookie and wakes up physically dependent on Jeongguk’s body heat.

A canon compliant fic rec and boi is it will written. Basically tae becomes dependent on JK’s body heat which ik sounds weird but its a really goof fic trust.

maybe we’re fireproof by thestarsabove

Summary: For as long as Jeongguk can remember (and even before that too), his body has been on fire.

Same author as the fic above and just as amazing. Not canon compliant this time and this now JK has problems w/ body heat. Hella recommend this author is fantastic.

Dogs Days by vestals

Summary: Chopa the corgi needs to be sent to dog school, and it just so happens that his trainer is, in Kim Taehyung's opinion, the finest man out there.

Too bad he's already got a boyfriend.

Okay so this one I was skeptical to read but I’m real happy I did. This fic was sooo good, the build up was killer and I really enjoyed it. There is quite a bit of smut in this one, you have been warned.

It’s gonna be you (I can’t let go) by OnlyWinterHere

Summary: "The sound of the crowd screaming is deafening. After four years, he should be used to it, but today he needs silence more than ever. Still, Taehyung smiles, because if there's something he's learned how to do is smiling even when he feels like dying."

Or the one where Jungkook gets a girlfriend and Taehyung can't cope.

This one hurttttttttt. If you are in the mood for some angst and sadness here is the fic for you. Happy ending tho and honestly it’s a really good fic. Also the yoomin spinoff is *chef’s kiss*.

5 millimeters per fucking second by Curionenene

Summary: Jungkook is painfully shy and he wants to do things with his boyfriend Taehyung.

(Or: the kind of slow burn you never knew you needed.)

AWWW this one is the sweetest omgggg. This brings an entirely new meaning to slow burn and it is so precious I can’t.

i wanna come put your lips on mine by locks

Summary: Taehyung glances over at him and with the light hitting the side of his face, throwing shadows over his face, Jeongguk can't bring himself to be that bothered about their date. Sure being alone would have been nice, but he thinks this is nice, too. He's with Taehyung, they got their dinner and movie. Just maybe next time they hopefully won't have his brothers as chaperones.

And when Taehyung puts his head on Jeongguk's shoulder later, he can't bring himself to be that mad at all, actually.

Or, it turns out Taehyung and Jeongguk share the same brothers: Fraternity for Jeongguk, and for Taehyung, well, blood.

This is another sweet fic. JK and Tae trying to date behind Tae’s brother’s backs is kinda hilarious and adorable.

Well folks that’s it for now but I have so many more so if y’all are interesting in a pt.2 let me know!! I hope you love these fics as much as I did. If you want other ship recs let me know and I’ll try my best to accommodate! Stay safe and healthy everyone!

#taekook #vkook #kim taehyung #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook #bts #bts fic #bts fic rec #taekook fic rec #taekook fic #ao3 #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan #fanfiction #fanfic #fic rec

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carlajean12 · 4 years

Text

POCKET BOOK

' BESTFRIEND '

Carla Jean Timoteo

"Thankyou for the letter, Mr. Mailman" My brother Damon greeted and the mailman smiled and walked away to deliver letters in the neighborhood.

I walked towards my brother and get the letter. I went up straight to my room and excitedly open the letter. I am greeted by the scent of the paper used. It smells like a fresh chamomile.

My Dearest Selena,

Hi Selena i've been busy with my study lately. I had a really great day today until one of my professors, scolded me for being late at school. Anyways, i've missed writing letters for you. I hope you are doing fine and I hope you'll reply to my letter take care.

-Sky de Vera

Sky is a boy i met online, 6 months ago. He is from New York. I've never seen him in personal. I just saw his pictures he usually talk online but he prefers sending me letters that makes me so happy all the time. I keep on smiling the whole day. My heart is so flattered by the letter that sky given me. He's so sweet by his word he seems so very lonely and gentleman. Suddenly my mind was filled of doubt's what if his only a poser using other name and other picture.

"Hello brother where's mom and dad?" Asking my brother while walking toward the dining area.

"On a date?" He answered with a shrug.

I rolled my eyes and eat silently. After eating i went straight to the bathroom and took a bath. I read the letter that sky have given me once more and get some scented paper to answer the letter .

I am blushing while writing the letter. I crumpled the paper and wrote again, the words was just so cheesy and i should act like Maria Clara. I wrote one more time, writing like professional that it would never give him a motive that i like him too. I smiled after keeping the letter amd went to sleep and enjoy my remaining vacation.

I woke up early and took a bath. I went to the dining area and eat with my family.

"Goodmorning, Selena" my mom greeted.

"Goodmorning, Mom. How's your date with dad?" I asked. I was confused on how my mom looks when i asked her that. She looks pale

"W-well, it went g-good" she answered stammering. I just nodded and smiled. I continued eating while they are talking about bussiness.

I check the time and it's already 9:35am in the morning. I excuse myself because im going to mail officer to deliver my letter to sky. I went out with my small Hermes bag and took a cab.

I was on my way when i passed to a group of kids selling a rose. The kids felt my presence and they run towards me. I smiled and bought all of it and pay them a hundred dollars.

"Keep the change" I smiled.

"Your so kind Ms. and your --- beautiful" said the taller kid. I smiled ang wave them.

"Goodmorning Ms." the body guard greeted and smile. I went to the counter and gave the letter to the staff.

After that, I went to the nearest mall and my eyes caught a crowd of girls. I rolled my eyes and continue walking; suddenly I bumped into something hard and smelled a hypnotizing perfume.

My senses comeback and I realized that it's a man with a sunglasses and a cap and he's wearing a plain tshirt and a khaki shorts.

"Excuse me Ms." the man said and continue walking without saying anything .

I realized that he is the one being surrounded by girls and I saw the murmuring and rolling their eyes on me. I just shrug my shouldee and continue walking while still thinking at the guy I just bumbed with, he looks like someone I know.

After buying some stuff, I took a cab and went home. I was about open the door when I heard mom and dad , it seems like they are fighting, I immediately open the door and their faces turned on me with a surprise look.

"Are u two fighting" I asked. Mom immediately comes near me and hug me. I hug mom back and I heard her sobbing. "We're so sorry, Selena, We can't be togethee anymore. Me and your dad are having a divorce". She talked while facing me and held my shoulder.

I felt a tear of drop in my eyes. I'm surprise and I can't say anything but "Why?" Mom hugged me again "I'm really sorry selena. Remember when you said how's my date with your dad? We weren't having a date we are working the papers for our divorce. I love you and Damon, but i can't take this anymore. Your dad has a mistress and she is pregnant. I'm so sorry" She said while sobbing.

After the revelations and explanations. I went to my room and cry. I thought my dad loves my mom so much. How dare he for having a mistress and got her pregnant and he really have the guts to go home.

NO!

This isn't a home after what happened.

I opened my laptop and message Sky, thankfuly he's online. I saw a lot of messages from him. I said, I'm sorry and he replies. I told him about what happend and he was worried about me. I felt so sleepy and closed my eyes.

I woke up early and read the messages from sky. I took a bath and stay on my room and open my Arena of Valor. I started playing for about how many hours. After playing, I went to the kitchen and I felt my heart tightened because there are no other people than me. Maybe they are busy processing the divorce paper and my brother must be on work. I cooked lucheon and egg for my breakfast and eat alone.

Suddenly the door bell rangs. I open the gate and saw a smiling mailman giving a letter for me, I smiled and accepted it. I walk towards my room and read the letter; my heart suddenly beats so fast as i open it. I was greeted again with a scented paper and read it.

I am smilling form ear to ear after reading. I hope I'll meet him someday. He's going to be the one I can rely on, my savior and the one I can feel comfortable.

I realized it's been a month since i message d my bestfriend . She's on a vacation right now and she didn't even inform me on me what's happening about her.

I dialed her number , and I've tried calling her 2 times and she wasn't answering it. Hays i need you clair.

It's been 6 months and my relationship with sky is still developing. How i wish i could see him. I suddenly felt my heart and i realized I love him already.

I open my phone and message Sky. He replied and we continued chatting that i didn't realize that it's getting late and I need to wake up early, today is the last day of vication. I'm having my class tomorrow.

I went to our classroom and thank god our proffesor hasn't arrived yet.I seat and Erin came closer to me.

"Hello Selena" Erin said.

"Hello" I answered. She nodded and smile. She sits beside me and puts cosmetics in her face.

After class, I went to the cafeteria with my bestfriends Claire and Nazi; we weren't classmate because we have different courses.

We took our food and eat, took selfies and I send it to sky. After eating we went out next subject. After my class, i text Claire that im going home early.

I opened my phone sky messaged me, I was surprised on what he said. I jumped in excitement because of the euphoria that i felt at that moment.

Finally, we're going to meet in personal. Im so happy that i can't remove the smile on my face.

He told me that he is going here nextweek.

It's been a week and this is it, today is the day at look at the clock , oh my gosh its almost noon!

I stand near the entrance my eyes searched for him and i waved my hand. He smiled widely and ran to me when something really horible happend.

A man started shooting randomly and pointed the gun at me. I saw sky running as fast as he could toward me and calling out my name. That next i knew was that sky hugging me and I hugged back i knew there was something wrong at i felt something sticky on my finger. The two of us on the floor, his head on my lap. I cried for help but no one was paying attention.

"Don't you die on me, Sky! I won't let that happen" I yelled him. He weakly reached and touched my face. He forced a smile and tears streamed down form his eyes. "Selena, I saw you at last "

"Just-just hang on. I'll-i'll call for help" he gently pulled my hand, forcing me to stay. "Just ... stay ... Here i don't want you to die".

"I don't want you to die either "

He flashed another smiled at me and out from his pocket khaki envelope and smiled "You should read this okay? Swear that you'll never forget me"

"Don't talk like that"

"Just swear to me, please" I sighed heavily and I heard plead.

"I swear" after his said, his eyes shut and he stopped breathing.

"SKY? SKY? Don't leave me!! Please don't leave me" Then medical team came aiding the victim. Sky didn't revive.

I went home after the accident. I open my room and i open the letter sky has given me.

Hey Selena

I just want to tell you how glad I am to met you. May life changed since the day we started to talk and writing each other. I was really happy when you trusted me with your secrets and seeing advices from me to solve your problems. You're a nice person, a good friend; and we have the same interest. Take care your self always, Selena.

- Sky De Vera

I cried for almost an hour its too late for the two of us. He proved his loved by taking that bullet for me. If it weren't for gun man. There could have been a happy life. I lost the one I loved the one I loved for almost year. I started at Sky's photos. I muttered "Sky, I won't forget you; I promise" How I wish I've seen him before.

This story i've imagine before will stay as my dream. If only i could turn back time but everything is too late.

Pre test

1. What is chamomile?

a. Perfume b. Flow c. Tea

2. Which word is similar to lucheon?

a. Luch b. Miryenda c. Meal

3. How did her parents seperate because of?

a. Financial Problem b. Mistress c. Bussines Tour

4. What is europhia means?

a. Feeling b. Secret c. Advice

5. When she hug sky, what she felt?

a. Sweat b. Bag c. Blood

Post test

1. How much she paid for the flower?

2. Who is the main character?

3. What is the name of her brother?

4. Who is the first person talk when selena have a family problem?

5. Where did sky die?

6. What can you say about the story?

7. How they met selena and sky?

8. What happen to her mom and dad?

9. Where sky live?

10. Who is marga's friends?

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