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eggyrocks · 21 days

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gnawing at the bars of my enclosure i loved the ch ending. ur works r so great keep it up. also do u happen to have tanaka n kiyoko relationship lore theyre so silly *twirling my hair and twiddling my fingers*

hehe im giggling the couple of all time okay here we go

tanaka’s first words to kiyoko were literally: “hi im tanaka ryuunosuke you’re very beautiful i think i am in love with you”

and all she could do was blink before yn was hitting him upside the head and dragging him away with a bunch of apologies directed at kiyoko

from that day on tanaka would not stop talking about kiyoko

he brought her up at least once a day

and at first everyone thought it was just a really intense crush

but tanaka kept insisting it genuinely was love at first sight

when yn and kiyoko started hanging out she didn’t tell tanaka

it’s not like she lied to him or anything

he just didn’t ask ok

tanaka was so betrayed though when he found out

“why didn’t you tell me you’re hanging out with my future wife?”

“because you say freak things like that”

whenever kiyoko did show up around him he was trying his best to act completely normal and not nervous at all

which consisted of him clenching his fists and sweating and repeating over and over in his head “be normal be normal be normal be normal”

and then kiyoko would be like “hey what’s wrong with your friend”

“he’s an idiot”

kiyoko did not think much of him at first except the occasional “that sweaty guy is staring at me”

she was sort of confused as to why he was always so nervous bc she didn’t really think he had anything to he nervous of

she did think it was sort of endearing though

not that she ever said it out loud

yn and kiyoko got closer and yachi got closer to them too and then even nishinoya started to get used to kiyoko and was more chill

not tanaka tho

nope

butterflies in his stomach every single time he sees her throat going dry head getting hot

she just always has that affect on him

and then when kiyoko started helping out with the band it actually sort of became an issues

because he would get so nervous around her that he literally forgot how to play the drums

the band was like “my dude you have got to get a grip”

then one day at before one for their earlier shows tanaka was showing signs of being crazy nervous and kiyoko said to him “don’t be nervous. you’re a great drummer”

and that just changed everything

because she thinks that of him?? she thinks he’s a great drummer???

he’s not about to disappoint

tanaka might’ve gone too hard that day he broke three drum sticks

but kiyoko told him he did a great job after

so it was worth it

tanaka would always go out of his way to try and impress her

drumming skills: “hey kiyoko watch me play this fugazi song…..okay wait no…wait let me start over i fucked up…..shit…”

strength: “hey kiyoko do you need help carrying that” “no” “are you sure it looks heavy” “this is just one of nishinoya’s pedals”

knowledge: “hey kiyoko did you know that you burn more calories drumming than you do weight lifting” “cool” “yeah”

and tanaka was way too in love to notice but kiyoko started smiling more that the things he would say

and would listen more intently

and start to ask him follow up questions

yn and yachi knew immediately when she started having a crush on him

they both thought it was very cute

and would lightly tease kiyoko abt it

but ultimately told her tanaka would be a great boyfriend and would be very sweet to her

like he already is

kiyoko knew she would have to be the one to confess because tanaka never would

he would just continue to be completely obvious about his feelings

but would never actually do anything about it

but still she was nervous

even though she was sure she wouldn’t be rejected

she chickened out the first three times she planned to confess

and on the fourth time

it actually turned out yachi and yn had had enough

and what do you do once you’ve had enough

why you lock your friends in a storage closet until they confess their feelings !

in a weird way, being in the small dark space made it a bit easier for her to admit her feelings

so she did

and then it took about ten minutes to convince tanaka that he was not dreaming

once he did bro was on cloud nine

for him the honeymoon phase has never ended

he’s so in love with her and every day he wakes up he feels lucky to be with her

and kiyoko loves him more and more every day

they’re gross together

so sweet to each other that it makes everyone else roll their eyes

tanaka got kiyoko a hoodie that says “i prefer the drummer” and she wears it to bed almost every night

they’re soulmates :)

#THE CALLOUSED HANDS CINEMATIC UNIVERSE #ITS GROWING #ask

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deevotee · 8 months

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im sure ive made this post before but im forever and always thinking about the fact that ciel and finny both think of themselves as the older brother in their relationship

like ciel thinks he takes the emotional weight of dealing with londons underground and the knowledge of constructing these terrible things, and finny thinks he takes the emotional weight of actually being a murderer and doing terrible things to people and BOTH of them think they're doing it to keep the other more innocent so they can live their life more comfortably because they both want the other to live as the child they didnt get to be

like do you get it? do you understand why i go crazy over them? like so many characters think of themselves as ciels older brother but none of them are on the level that finny is on because hes more actually equal to ciel and literally one of his only friends who could actually understand the level of what he went through and would stick with him through thick and thin and even gets to be ciels little brother at the same time AND even gets to be ciels 'ciel' because that little boy is his sebastian who saved him and gave him a new life and and and-

#i have a migraine and have been stressed all wekk #the solution? think about these two #they drive me CRAZY #i needed something to think about last night to keep my mind less anxious #and the first thing that came to mind was cielinny #they drive me insane in the best way tho #god i love them i want more to their relationship #like yana makes it such a point that they are important and special to each other #but then the content is so rare cuz finny cant come on most of ciels missions 😭#like i GET it ciel wouldnt want him to see those things #but i want to see more of them together man #cielinny #ciel phantomhive #finnian #devo speaks #meta #black butler #kuroshitsuji

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lactosa2 · 4 months

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A dm request of this drabble, something fluff bc im in a good mood for the gifts of chrismast :3

This one is for Neon, no specific gender, it no be necesary at all

JUST HOLD ME

You're training, the weapon felt strangely heavy, you're not in the mood to joke or just let your worries go, not this time.

For months the missions have become more and more demanding, so to maintain the pace of being useful for the protocol, you train more, sleep less, you get stronger but you still feel that weakness at the end of each mission, nothing is enough

You demanded more and more of yourself, comfort was not made for your self-critical heart, it was not sufficiency, it was the demand that led you to seek perfection, whether in sketches of drawings to distract that restless mind, or the feeling of relief. when an act of service ended up satisfying someone else. It had always been like this, it didn't matter what was yours, if not what was general, you had the mentality that one in a hundred didn't matter, you didn't matter, not when thousands of people died daily due to the environmental consequences.

and when protocol gave you the opportunity to help, sacrifice your life to make others happy, or in this case, less miserable. A choice you made for the good of others, like most decisions throughout your short existence, no longer felt like life.

You were quite closed about this thought, you just wanted to shut it up and maybe it would stop appearing while you were in solitude so as not to cry, there was no escape, but little by little this bitterness ended up filling your already tabulated aura, you just wanted to close your eyes and have someone else do all the social work, you just wanted to sit and laugh at someone else's jokes. And that was the main reason why Neon was a direct hug to the soul for you.

7:45 P.M

You continued training, your breathing already agitated, as if you were going to faint, your eyes already half closed while your legs wobbled, your arms could no longer bear the exesibove weight of the sniper, giving up in those short 7 seconds, falling to the ground while your knowledge faded. fades away

You woke up surrounded by small stuffed animals, different shapes and sizes, it wasn't your room, and the smell of sweet baby perfume made you recognize where you were. “Neon…” you whispered tiredly, voice hoarse and low, almost a growl as you refused to fully open your eyes, only dragging one of the stuffed animals to snuggle it into your chest. Neon was standing, looking at you with anger and concern, her hair was loose and straight, not yet forming her characteristic waves, you weren't going to look at her.

This day marks 3 times a week that you faint, lack of food, rest, water, and all the basic things you needed to keep your eyes open were missing from your system, and each time Neon scolded you like an annoying mom because you failed the important subjects

"…It's been 3 times already" she whispered as she walked towards the bed. "I know…" you responded, hiding her face in that stuffed cow.

Neon removed the stuffed animal from your embrace and lay down in its place, seeking the comfort of knowing that at least you were awake, "I need you to be okay…" her voice was soft and comforting, she didn't want to make you feel guilty, but she wanted you to feel guilty. were you aware that at the current rate, you would end up dead. "I just want to make things right.." you responded as you buried your face in her neck, your arms around her waist as you squeezed her against you, seeking that comfort that without it you would be going crazy.

"…" she didn't say anything, she knew he wouldn't convince you, so she preferred to remain silent and do the best she could, snuggling against you while letting you rest, soon they would have a serious conversation about this, it was necessary, but now. A hug was enough to keep those self-destructive ideas away from the main focus, now you just had to caress her hair and give her a few kisses so she wouldn't be so worried, it always works.

#valorant x reader #valorant #neon valorant #neon x reader #valorant neon

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kirklandsheartsecrets · 1 year

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Can we have some platonic headcanons connected to your previous post? Ireland, Scotland, Wales, and Sealand being extremely fond of their sister-in-law to the point where they teased her of her taste in men since they know how Iggy can be. While at the same time being protective of her since everyone knows her marriage is political, and they scare away any nation that plans to sweep her off her feet once the marriage is over. And became extremely overjoyed to find out she's forever part of their family.

Platonic headcannons || Ireland, Scotland, Sealand and Wales

related to this link

Ireland

when he learned the news he was really supportive

The only time he is supportive about something related to england

You won’t catch him slipping if it wasn’t you

Sees the fat crush in between you two

Helps you with the kids a lot

They are overwhelming

Tuvalu

Myanmar

Mauritius

America

He is their favorite uncle

Or was he always wearing bright colors

We don’t know

When they left the British empire he was crying real bad

Uncle Ireland crying like Kim kardashian

Proud of them tho

asked you 68 times if you were sure about this marriage

And when you say yes

He just does that disgusted face like

Sis you can do better

Even asked your boss

Your boss told Arthur

You haven’t seen Ireland for one week

Made a note to himself to never talk to your boss again

Sees you fine as his sister in law

Again, helps you sometimes

Out of the +60 kids, 100% of them make fun of how he talks

Learns all the traditional dances from the kids country so he can dance with them

And this bad boy knows how to dance for sure

Test you by asking questions about england culture ?????????????

Is this miss england contest ?

I mean you could get in easily and win tbh

Doesn’t care much about what other countries think

If Arthur big ass family is happy

He is happy

Humiliates anyone who talks bad about your agreement

But he knows it’s because they wish they could benefits from the kids

Then he cares because not the kids

When he got the news for the alliance and proposal he was really happy

He is the best brother anyone could ask for

Sealand

new relationship unlocked

He is a kid himself

You like the piss haired Londoner ?

Why would you get a political marriage with such an ignorant and irresponsible dad ????

He can’t take care of his supposed little brother

A micro nation

Let alone a colony-

Miss he looks like england with blue eyes and a smile

The cliche “when I’ll become a country I’ll take you away from england”

“Im 20- YOURE 20?! It’s okay no one has to know baby girl”

Arthur did not like that

Tries to explain that england tries to make you another of his colonies

Confused when you laughed so loud

You cleared it out to him about the situation

He might be a micro nation

But he has fuck ton of nation knowledge

Personal guard to countries who think they can flirt

Helps you escape awkward situations and talks back

Good come backs

Learns a lot about the kids quickly since he is so friendly

They go to his place sometimes

All the kids loved him

He loves all of them too

Doesn’t understand the marriage proposal thing

Crazy how he doesn’t understand this when he can literally learn dialects from the colonies so fast.

Another one of the kids to you, but this one might stay forever

he is adorable 10/10

Scotland

he loves you

So much

So so so so much

Not because you’re nice or anything

You’re taking off such a weight off him

You’re taking off the weight of england on his back

If england tries to divorce you or anything

Hahahahahahhaha not if he is not agreeing

This relationship is almost a 3 people relationship

You, Arthur and Alistair

The man who says tomorrow instead of tomorra thinks he can make such a decision

You’re gonna stay with the lad for a long time darling

Alistair will not give up on this peace of mind and soul he gained with the help of his sister in law

Are you scared of the end of the agreement or is Alistair shitting himself over it

When he heard about it the first time

Thanks the lord over your boss being the biggest negotiator out there

Your boss should have won the Nobel peace prize

Cuz the uk brothers house is real peaceful since you came

Makes fun of Arthur too much

This snitch tells about every habits of Arthur

Talks back when someone makes inappropriate comments about the marriage

Him and Peter are a good pair when talking back

comebacks are immaculate

The kids call him uncle who is a giant and dad keeps saying bad things about him too

Kids snitch to him what Arthur says

Will not hesitate if one comment is headed towards his unicorn

About that

Yeah the unicorn

Kids want to play with it all the time

Give this unicorn a break

44 underage kids running over to play with it for decades the trauma is real

When the kids grow up and leave they all hug him one last time-

They also try to negotiate for the unicorn hhhhh

The piss hair fool proposed ?

Finally, he can rest happily

No more Arthur snoring in the same room as him

Or having to share furniture

Hong Kong favorite’s uncle

Made the joke about england waking you up with the

Aloe love

Giant guard

He wont have to deal with the kids anymore now

Wait

Hates it there because Arthur found love before him

But a win is a win I don’t care what you’re saying A WIN IS A WIN

Wales

he is really really fond of you

Taking care of so many colonies even as a nation is not only difficult but requires management

He helps with that

Also fond of you because you’re making Arthur a better person

The British empire wasn’t that nice actually and it took on his behavior towards his family

A lot of teasing from him too

You put yourself in this situation darling

Slick about dirty jokes bc of sealand

But you understand 😳

Looks like a cinnamon roll but makes a lot of dirty jokes

He knows

Predicted the official proposal at the end of the agreement

He is the rich uncle who takes the kids out

Episode of Khloe kardashian taking North west for a day together vibes

Ends ups buying animals that Arthur doesn’t want in his house

Yeah but the kids-

“Your dad is not gonna happy with me—“

But oh well

Gets snakes, all kinds of birds, spiders

These nations are from places where boring pets do not exist

I will link the video and please watch it so you understand my point!!!!

Kids are not impressed by his limo but they are really happy tho

They just like Arthur don’t look too happy in general

“Are you happy to have a limo”

Kids: no

So what do you want—?

Kids: “we want a white unicorn limo”

Not Alistair’s unicorn again god

But he is living for the “thank you uncle wales” moment he deserves

About little shits who think they can talk bad about your agreement

Made plans with his boss to destroy other countries bosses

A lot of drama, talks back too when he is offended

Arthur and you are family, agreement or not

Knows his brother is so down bad for you

You were already sister in law for them anyways

He predicted the second proposal sooo he wasn’t so excited about the news

But

Internally he is extremely happy

Isn’t jealous even a tiny bit because he has found his one

Wales lovers im looking at you 👁👁

[name] forever part of the family ?

Means he gets to be the rich nice uncle for a long time

Kids were too scared to show england the pets so they announced to you “the best gifts uncle Dylan could ever buy them!!!"

You knew about Arthur’s rules with pets

“Uncle Dylan is gonna have problems with dad”

The kids are not listening

But oh well the joy on their faces

The breaking point was the moose with Canada

ー I’m in the middle of my final take home exam sorry for the wait

ー I finish this exam and I’m writing I promise

ー the video for wales is linked check it out it’s so cute

ー i am out there, 30 tabs open on my computer, watching the World Cup, doing my final exam, listening to some hard drill, catch me in the library from 8 to 6 lads I’ll be there

— and for the request in my ask box about the same story don’t worry I gotchu just give me time

to finish this!!!

— love you all

#uk brothers #hetalia headcanons #hetalia x reader #aph scotland #aph wales #aph england #aph ireland #hws wales #hws ireland #hws scotland #hws sealand #aph sealand #listen to me uncle wales as aunty koko is the best #Arthur is not gonna be happy with those pets in his house

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voiceofsword · 9 months

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okay, thanks for telling me! I knew the game has been out for a while so I figured it was about that time, but I didn't realize that the first game went on for as long as it did! the only knowledge of the first game I have is translations people have posted, and the anime lol but it's nice to know there's more content for people playing on the jp server!

if you don't mind me asking, what didn't you enjoy about the crazy b climax event? I haven't seen much about it besides the cute fanart hehe

yeah ofc!!

this is all going mostly off my own google tled screenshots and people livetweeting the event since theres no fully tled version of it online, but i wasnt rly happy with how hyped up climax events were (shaped up to be something Huge for each unit) and then crazybs climax was...nice, but there wasnt any outstanding development made, it couldve just been any old event yknow. and im not really fond of how rinne seemed to be.. kind of absent for most of it, especially when it's his center event.. which there is an explanation for, he was jetlagged so crazyb kinda had to take over what rinne would usually do, and while the sentiment is really sweet its nothing that we wouldnt have expected from them, if that makes sense? we know crazyb have gotten closer and can freely rely on each other, it's not some huge mindblowing occurrence that they would do this kind of thing...

i was just a lil underwhelmed by the story altho it had its cute moments and a lot of scenes i really love! the cards and song and outfits were perfect but yeah thats my observation on it. i feel like the other climaxes since then have had a bit more weight to them or have had a more significant impact on the unit as a whole which is nice but makes me a lil :( that crazyb was up first and didnt feel as fulfilling as i wouldve expected, personally

#mimthinks #these r my thoughts opinions etc u can feel differently ofc and it doesnt take away from me loving this event its just. yeah :'3

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tania05 · 2 years

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🤍SOLAR RETURN(2022-2023)🤍

my masterlist

ITS MY BIRTHDAY YALL!! I know nobody is going to see this but yknow i want to talk about my solar return chart cause why not!? im not really good at interpreting charts very well so bare with me. Please.🤚🏾 Now, let’s do this😼

Isn’t she ✨pretty✨?

Im going to be using this chart here and this 12 houses chart too to help me along the way. Im not interpreting my aspects cause i’m still struggling with it.

First off, my Sun is in the 11th house.idk what else to put because the sun in the 11th house is kinda self explanatory 🧍🏾‍♀️

MY MOON IS IN LEO! I saw that is its conjunct my ascendent so i could be wearing my heart on my sleeves this year or i could gain weight this year(especially since my moon is in the first house and i can’t remember where i saw it but someone said the moon can indicate plumpness which im very excited for! I’ve always wanted to gain some weight)

My rising is also in Leo so i could be very bold this year or maybe a Diva( A diva is a female version of a hustla👩🏾‍🎤) or i could be exuding a lot of confidence this year or gain a lot of it. Maybe my hair will be fuller(hopefully). I also find it cool because my asc is at 9 degrees and my natal asc is at 9 degrees too! And 9 is a Sagittarius degree so i coukd be double cheeked up or a lot of knowledge shall be bestowed on me

My mercury is in the 10th house in Taurus. Im very intrigued to see how it would work because my natal mercury is in Gemini(home sign baby)AND its at 15 degrees(gemini degree)[ Fun fact: im also Gemini dom and my dominant planet is Mercury🫣) Now, imma be honest. I have no idea how to translate mercury in the 10th house. The best thing i can think of ag the moment, is that my mind is very career based because Mercury rules how we speak and think. Very goal oriented. It’s also in Taurus so maybe careers that involve the arts like Singing(Taurus rules the throat) would be my main focus which is crazy because i lowkey want to become a singer

My venus is also in Taurus in the 10th house so the fact that my venus is at home is spectacular! Taurus energy baby. So again, could be focused on the arts but also my fashion sense could improve a lot too since venus rules fashion(i think don’t take my word for it) Venus also rules love and beauty so i could be romancing some suitors this year honhonhon or they would be romancing me honhonhon. OMG WAIT. Venus rules beauty….am i getting my long awaited glow up!?🥹🥹🥹 PLEASE im TIRED OF THIS SHIT! but don’t make me look older though. This Gemini energy i have is keeping me looking young and i like that😏. My venus also squares my ascendent. In my natal chart, my venus TRINES my ascendent. I think i will have a strong glow up since Square is a tight/harsher aspect or i would dive into things like makeup and stuff. Back to the 10th house, i saw that it conjuncts my MC so maybe my arts/sense of fashion/beauty is my career’s main focus(??)

Mars! My mars is in one of its home signs, Aries. So i have some big go getter energy with me this year which nice paired up with my 10th house stellium. My mars is in the 9th house….idk y’all um. Ok so, Mars is mostly known for its passion, intensity, drive, and seggs. So, i think i would be very passionate about those 9th house themes especially since it is in Aries. I also could be more upfront, confrontational, and bold(ayyyye fire energy)i don’t think it indicates it but maybe i’ll meet a foreigner(9th house) and he would be ambitious or i would be ambitious towards him idk

Jupiter!! My Jupiter is living it’s life in the 9th house since one of its rulers, Sagittarius rules it. Its also in Aries so my luck my come around quickly or my abundance may increase quickly which nice because my natal Jupiter is in Libra in the 12th house💪🏿. With it being in the 9th house, my philosophical thinking, the way view my religion may expand or i may travel a lot more this year all that good stuff

Saturn. Now, im a little worried because it is in my 7th house and saturn is all about restrictions😁 and it’s in one of it’s home signs, Aquarius😁. Lovely. But yknow what, maybe this could work out. Maybe i’ll meet a long term partner thats offers stability and wants to be with me forever and marry me or i could be having trouble developing connections with people and having to learn from it because Saturn said so💃🏾UPDATE! So i just saw a post on tik tok saying that saturn is in retrograde! AAAAAAAH SO GOOD THINGS SHALL COME💪🏿

Uranus. Now, Im a little excited because it’s also in the 10th house in Taurus and at a Cancer degree(16). Uranus is mostly about unexpected changes so maybe i would have a career change all of a sudden or maybe my reputation would increase(or decrease but let’s not talk about that🤚🏾 out of sight, out of mind or in this case out of mind, out of sight hehehehe) Now, since it is in Taurus, Taurus likes to take its time on things but will still get it dont regardless, so maybe these unexpected changes will happen slowly. Its also squares my Asc so it could play which again, in my Natal chart trined my ascendent.🧍🏾‍♀️ These changes about my looks might be very drastic now that im thinking about it🧍🏾‍♀️.

Neptune. My beautiful Neptune. Its at home in Pisces and it’s in the 8th house so. I think this will benefit me because natally, i have an 8th house stelli(sun, merc, and venus) so adding pisces energy into that *chefs kiss* wonderful or it coukd he deceptive towards me and it could all be a lie✨✨✨

Pluto! It is in Capricorn which is giving hardcore lover that only likes dark colors, his only personality trait is how emotionally damaged he is and he only likes hardcore sex like BDSM. and he’s a billionaire cause why not lol jk(not really) but pluto is all about transformation and breaking down the old to make way for the new. It’s in my 6th house so my routine may change or my work ethic which is cool(ig) because im in my 6th house profection year. yaaaay

I WAS ABOUT TO END IT UNTIL I SAW THAT MY NORTH NODE IS IN MY 10TH HOUSE AND IN TAURUS OMG!? YALL THIS IS SO GOOD. I CAN LAY A PROPER FOUNDATION FOR MY CAREER OR MAYBE BE SEEN AS REALLY GOOD AT IT AND MAYBE KNOWN FOR IT OMG YALL! i really won at life y’all

But anyways, im very excited for this year. It’s my senior year of High school and off to college i go. I really hope that my 10th house stellium helps me figure out what career to go into because i’ve been struggling to figure out what i want to be. If there’s some cool things you see, please let me know and tell me about it. Im open to all discussion. Hopefully my 10th stelli is doing it’s job because this is one of the few times i want my information out here. If you’re an astrologer, please tell me how i did based on my interpretations. All love and vibes, pulsatingcoochielips is out.

Love yall ⭐️

#astrology #solar return

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blackvahana · 6 days

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the self-writing books are annoying the fuck out of me. Filled in seconds! I could fill a goddamn library if I wanted to. i dont as Dei fully trust they even work, I'm half-convinced im hallucinating the entries but no, lev would straighten that out if so

anyway. I shouldnt be shocked. I shouldnt be surprised. first of all, purely mundane experiences show me always filling fucking single-sentence thoughts with entire essays. second... I feel language itself oozing from my pores. i feel the weight of the goddamn disco ball that is the Sky Library being not enough to hold the thoughts i have and the amount of languages that exist in my damn brain. of course Im talking unincarnated selves, but man

ive half a mind to sit and pour myself into as many of these books as I can make and see what happens but that? that's not necessary. that's ridiculous. I have endless libraries of books - hey. you. reader. you want some fucking books because I have endless books. about to start eating them

oh this is such a non-issue lmfao i am creating issues for myself. I am those rich people who ran out of day-to-day problems so I now start finding them in tiny things. the solution is simple. i am sat in front of a need to exhale and get rid of energy thats building up, in this case ink, so i should go get rid of it instead of complaining, but complaining prolongs the baby period in my life which is apparently fun

..... actually you know what IS fun. i should really stop isolating my madness - knowledge - revelation - black ink - eldritch aspects and just start creating books that make people go fucking insane. the people im an incarnation of are on vacation away from politics and good behaviour in me, i could go fucking crazy go stupid.

#astral diary #ramblings //#aspect: black ink #is that the black ink? it certainly is. Thats a Black thing but i just dont understand it too well. not yet. its about the manifestation #of reality and the condensing of matter in alignment with programming. the documenting and creation of reality by God The Father

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erosso · 1 year

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Idk if you got my last message but im gonna go more in depth here cause I'm a lil confused?

So I have a friend i grew up with. We aren't the closest but we text every 3 months or so. He has depression so he comes to me when he feels super low sometimes, cause I helped him way back when. Other than one point where he kinda liked me (he didn't he was upset about a break up and wanted to date someone cause he wanted attention , and I know he didn't like me cause he would specifically say things like "I would never date a girl taller than me" "I would never dste a girl who weighs more than me" aka ME when I was that age, well also still me in the height idk about the weight) there has NEVER been any romantic feelings between us.

I do not like him like that, he doesn't like me like that. He is dating someone he wants to propose to, he even sent me the rings. I talked to her once over the phone very briefly when he had me on speaker when he called to update me on a situation. She knows of me, and he has told me all about her (because he wanted my opinion on rings). She seems very smart, kind, and has a good head on her shoulders. But we have never actually met.

He messaged me on social media (main form of keeping in contact is through dms or pms whatever you call it). He told me she wants him to block me cause she has a weird feeling about me.

Now on one hand, idc. Go ahead and block me. And I told him as such. Cause I understand being the female in the situation, its weird when the guy you are dating is close friends with another girl cause many relationships these days aren't strictly platonic (as if I've ever dated thats how I would imagine it could be tho). We have never met, so its ok to be a lil suspicious, esp cause of time difference its always late his time when he messages me. On the other hand, I am the type to be like you can have your friends, even if im not friends with them. As long as you don't cheat, im ok with you having close friends of the same or opposite gender I literally do not care. Our messages are never flirty. Usually we talk about what's going on in our lives or how work is, sometimes we gossip about our families but thats it.

Well he decides he's gonna block me on social media cause she asked. Okay. Fine. He's gonna propose to this girl I dont want to be the one to stop it, but then he asked me to delete all our messages talking about the situation?? Because he told her he wouldn't tell me i guess and said she may look through his phone (which to my knowledge she hasn't before???), but here's my question, wouldn't it look more suspicious if you do look through someone's phone and just see "message deleted"???? Cause id be more concerned about THAT then seeing the messages??? I am not too keen on people searching through phones, but I do also know this guy used to be a huge flirt in teen years and talked to 2 girls at once (which he was going through a lot of personal things I won't get into and he wanted attention, which doesn't excuse his actions just explain them). So I understand being a lil wary. But is it weird to look through someone's phone???

He then tells me he will text my phone number snd call me still regardless of what she says so now I feel ???? Why lie to her say you blocked me and yet go behind her back to talk to me??? I know we are friends but, am I I wrong in like, if you are going to marry someone you should be honest with them and like maybe lose a friend rather than the love of your life????

I feel he is giving more red flags then she is but idk what to say or do??? I am blocked now and im not reaching out to him cause???? I'm v confused about the whole thing??? I am seeing red flags everywhere on both sides but maybe I am looking too deep into it??

-🎆

Well this is a crazy situation in general.

now i font think im one to give advice or what not, because ive never been in a situation like this, however, ive seen people go through this and i guess from my perspective, if i was in this situation. I could see what you mean about the red flags.

i think from what youre describing, i think he rather tell someone, in this case his significant other, something to ease their mind rather than actually going through with the actions. If that makes sense.

im also confused as to why he would say that about the text messages. it is very weird and suspicious that he would want both parties to delete something especially if it wasn’t anything wrong. i hope that makes sense.

idk, he seems kinda…. Icky to me. now i obviously dont know him like you do, so im not dogging on him, but just from what youre telling me, i definitely would rethink a friendship with him.

i would like to talk to her as well about the situation, maybe tell her what hes saying to you? i know

You said you dont really know her too well, but maybe there will be an opportunity to do so.

again, idk my love, its a weird situation to be in.

#ask #mari responds 💌#fireworks anon #anon

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barlee--mars · 2 years

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Got fired on my bday so! to avoid reaching new lows, took my ass to the beach and did some knitting by the ocean

This is what I'm working on:

its a gift for a friend with a cat, and I learned how to knit 4 different colors at once! Also sort-of continental? ..and that your tension goes WAAY off if you knit with different weight yarns, oops, but they were so pretty and soft:

You can see the dark green starting to pucker/go wonky, even though I doubled up i guess it needed 3 strands of worsted to match that white blanket yarn im using for the cat face..but I wasn't about to go effing around with intarsia in the round 🙃

Oh well! This is the Ravelry pattern link:

After I finish this I'm gonna use all this knowledge to make a pup sweater for myself of our dutchie

Because, while knitting and beach visits do help my mental health tons, our boobalooby crazy girl does the most heavy lifting. As I type this, she's resting her head on my shin. Blessed.

#depressed but working on it #every year my bday never fails to disappoint with some mild calamity #had a relationship end on my birthday 3 times list my job on my birthday twice now had to have ulcer surgery one bday #had at least 5 where not a single person remembered it #had my pet rabbit die on my bday 4 yrs ago #and 15 yrs ago my best friend offed themself at midnight of my bday so overall i do not have a great track record with birthdays enjoyment #anyway KNITTING AND BEACH THERAPY AND DOG THERAPY #heals all wounds #knitting #beach #personal #bday #colorwork #wip #dutch shepherd #shes so so smart and cuddly and protective but very separationanxiety and likes to nibble on socks and eat tissues whole like some delicacy #she has a name officially but responds to Baby and Boobaloo and Boobaloobee and Hey Crazy and Young Lady #except Young Lady is when she has scarfed down the aforementioned tissues or brought one of our shoes back to her lair under the bed #i love her your honor #these tags are wildly getting out of hand so i will say goodnight and i hope 31 is a better year for me than 30 #long post

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sudut · 4 years

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standrew brainworms wont fucking leave my brain!!! here you go. hopefully one day i’ll turn it into proper fic for once

these are not exactly chronological... i’m just putting them down as they appear and haunt my life so they can at least leave my brain and life here instead in text.

- steven and his routines: daily journaling and meditating, nightly prayers, brushing his teeth and washing his face before bed

- andrew's still working for a bit when steven's winding down. He's trying to find a place who would share their recipe for his next 'i tried making ___ from worth it' episode. They will release more after this season of worth it wraps up.

- simba and wellington interacting bc i want to get diabetes

- that day steven recorded his watcher weekly content and by the end andrew tuned in to say hi. They didn't put it in the final cut.

- Steven is settling in for bed. Calling out to andrew passing by, "stay for me for a bit?" "... fine."

- steven's blue shampoo is running out and the color of his hair is starting to fade. They talked small stuff but steven’s clearly slowing down. Andrew was gently stroking his head as he fell asleep. He left after putting the lights off.

- they were having their third day of spoonbyh weekly mealprep thing but since theyve eaten their dessert last night they made some pudding. Some milk are spilled ("I cant let you touch anything," Andrew sighed fondly, and wellington got to it before they can wipe it clean off the floor. Steven laughed, and brought simba to go at it too. Andrew has pictures of steven squattig near them and smiling.) he keeps it for himself.

- the new couch steven's mom bought them kind of clashes against the whole minimal thing andrew had going on--the color and design not the kind of thing he’d choose for himself, subtly breaking the theme along with the funny jackets hanging on the back of the seat, new whiteboard on the fridge (where steven writes his infuriatingly earnest messages), basketball and guitar on the corner of the room, the new side table and shelf that are colored a bit too dark for the whole light minimalist thing. The orange cat. Assorted Watcher merchs in a pile on the coffee table and on their desks--he's been drinking out of their mugs for months now.

- oh, the damn body pillow. Andrew insisted of dry cleaning the thing eventhough steven insisted he washes it on his own regularly. Bought some new covers just in case. Steven's hugging the damn thing now. (It's fine, Andrew can hug him hugging it when they sleep. It is fine. Yes.)

- Andrew pauses. Looking around inside his flat. Realizing, that it is the reflection of his life; something he had built for himself for years slowly getting filled everywhere with little imprints of steven.

- he got up, shutting the laptop and putting things away. Went to their room to find wellington curled next to steven’s leg. He kissed them both and went under the cover.

#grammar? tenses? who the fuck understands that shit im just decolonizing #ye ill fix them later #im just filled to the brim with little notes of observation #and im going crazy with the weight of this knowledge #steven lim the purest fucking man i ever fucking know #i guess i should also add more detail about andrew but man im Hyperfocusing #im also greatly invested in wellington and simba interacting #as andrew would also probably?#i HOPE nobody whos got relation w them read this. i hope they never see this #RPF is a fucking tough thing for me bc my desire to fantasize about Real Actual Living People and the morality of said fantasies can never #make peace w eachother and theyre both equally strong #but ya

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literaphobe · 3 years

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Realistically, who'd win in a fight between the feral boys?

u know what? i’ll give u one more. i’m gonna go through each feral boy dynamic and determine who i think would win and lose in each face off. bear in mind that i might change my mind about this on any other day so take it w a pinch of salt:

Dream vs George: tie. george would do some dumb move or talk/react in a crazy way that’ll make dream laugh and go ‘ur making me laugh that’s not even fair 🤣’ he’ll like somehow twist it into claiming george is cheating because he did some dumb underhand move or found a ticklish spot n call the whole fight off saying he’d have won anyway unless george fouled like the filthy cheater he is n then george would probably b like ok fine then let me hit u once just to see if it would hurt and dream would let him and anyone watching it would find it incredibly bizarre but that’s just how they are

Sapnap vs George: im sorry but he’s drop kicking george the second he walks through the door either that or he hugs him and cries for a solid hour. they’ll end up hanging out for hours even after fighting tho n i think george would prob be the one to convince dream to get their home gym set up so he could have one more outlet to amuse himself with. he’d watch the Buff Sapnap arc unfold as he plays w a gym bouncy ball and tells sapnap he isn’t bench pressing enough weight n needs to double the load. anyway sapnap would crush him easy. he’s been loading up on protein n greens this entire time n playing basketball n going ollie on his skateboard. george had a grape the other day and thought it was gonna make him buff and his source of protein is mcdonald’s nuggets. he also struggles to open windows in cable cars. most importantly, he has NOT to my knowledge, went ollie on a skateboard. sapnap wins hands down

Quackity vs George: trickier than you might think actually. because funnily enough quackity is one of the biggest victims of the GeorgeNotFound™ effect. yes i think quackity if pushed past his breaking point could absolutely pummel the shit out of george but george has a mouth as much as quackity has fists and sometimes all he needs to say is ‘Are You Done Now?’ or ‘I’m Leaving, If You Don’t Stop/Give Me What I Want Right Now I’m Actually Leaving’ and then it becomes a REAL toss up. victor of this fight changes depending on the day

Karl vs George: hm. george wins. no. karl wins. no. they both lose

Dream vs Sapnap: sapnap talks a big game of how he could take any of these dudes he could kick anyone’s ass he’s so strong he’s gonna rip em all apart but—he can’t wake dream up for an among us game? :/ he’s too scared to go into dream’s room? :/ he HIMSELF thinks dream could kick his ass? sorry sapnap if u don’t believe in urself n think height is everything n whatever aura dream has is everything then what can i do 😔 guess dream wins this one

Quackity vs Sapnap: huh. would it be weird to say that i think they are evenly matched based on what i know of them? like they’re equally physically intimidating as they are physically not intimidating. they would both talk SO much smack tho. so much that they might not actually fight. idk. quackity’s like boxed right? but also sapnap’s won that mr beast extreme tag thing. but also i literally do not know. not to give a cop out answer again but… t-tie? but in the sense where. they know it would be So evenly matched that if they actually fought for real they’d just both end up super injured w no clear winner

Karl vs Sapnap: karl paints his nails and that gives him super powers. he could probably knock sapnap out in one punch. PROVIDED he can find him. not only is sapnap a hide and seek champion he is clearly a full fledged skater boi now. he is so fast. he is zooming away on those wheelies as we speak. where will he go

Quackity vs Karl: i think karl would win but it’s an accident like. karl kicks a chair and it goes flying and quackity takes 10 damage. or karl falls over and crashes onto quackity. the whole fear of accidentally getting murdered by karl’s clumsiness/recklessness might throw quackity off enough for him to lose

Dream vs Karl: my mind is admittedly blanking at this one. i don’t know. i don’t think either of them would fight each other even if u forced them. i don’t think there is a Bone in either of their bodies that r willing to or care for antagonizing the other. they would probably hug n then like stage some half assed fight where it ends with them Winning Together or they take turns winning or dream ‘lets karl win’ and someone might point out that implies dream thinks He would win and then karl gets like jokingly passive aggressive about it

Quackity vs Dream: in some ways? fight of the century. absolute hoedown throwdown. this is the shortest person in the gc vs the tallest person we’re talking about. the two people who are Known for ‘fighting’ over the ‘love’ of ‘GeorgeNotFound’. buuuuuuut they also like each other a lot n want the other to like them a lot so much. buuuuuuut they also have a propensity for shit talking each other. i think dream might win but he might also cry from whatever psychic damage q inflicts but at the same time quackity might like pretend he threw on purpose n let dream win or he would use his loss as leverage over dream somehow and call him a very mean not good bully who bullies people physically over getting shoved slightly during the ‘fight’. OR dream makes one joke about how quackity is so short he has to bend over just to fight him or he purposely misses a punch and says he couldn’t reach because quackity’s too low and this causes q to see red meaning game over for dream

#ask #feral boys #mcyt #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #quackity #karl jacobs #dream smp #thanks so much for this ask i love asks like these #ik its so long sorry #i spent longer on this than i should have #askplus

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erythrum · 3 years

Text

𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓

𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘖𝘯𝘦

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨,𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧,𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦,𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘹,𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘴,𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨

𝙖/𝙣: 𝘪𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1.9𝘬 +

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘤𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘨𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘺/𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

The boneyard was a melting pot, pogues, tourons, and kooks unalike all gathering for one of the last kegger's of summer. This mash together of kids from all over Kildare and the mainland always ended in chaos, it was just a matter of time before shit went down tonight.

Rafe had his arm thrown around my shoulders as we walked down the path to the boneyard. I could faintly see Topper and Kelce downing the cups of pogue provided beer. Didn’t matter whether or not the kooks or pogues could get along, as long as it was on the cut and alcohol was provided, the teens could get along for a limited amount of time.

“Hey y/n! What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving for college this week?” It was Sarah who yelled out to me, running up to her brother and I in her floral printed dress. Rafe’s arm dropped to his side as she came with Topper not far behind.

“Oh I just couldn’t miss my last kegger before leaving, Duke can wait on me one more day.” The two of us embraced in one of those hugs that has you shifting your weight from side to side. I guess she didn’t realize I wouldn’t leave for college for another month, but I was sure she was already too drunk for me to explain it to her that she was not thinking of the right month.

As Sarah was hanging onto me probably a little too tight, Topper was giving Rafe one of those looks that said everything but also nothing at the same time. Like prior knowledge had to be known to understand the context. I of course did not, those two always had some stupid shit planned and I can almost guarantee it had to do with messing up the pogues’ little party.

The sun hung low on the horizon after I had finished my third cup, the colors illuminating the sky so brilliantly it felt like a fantasy. I stripped off my top and headed for the water, the pinks and purples of the sky reflected in its crashing waters. It was so cold, the temperature sent shivers up my body and a familiar rush in my energy. Almost waist deep now, I submerged my body completely under the water. It was always how I remembered it, calm and refreshing.

“C’mon Rafe! Don’t be a little bitch and get in there, I see the way you look at her,” Topper spewed, pushing his friend to have a little courage.

“Man what the fuck are you even talking about?” Deny everything Rafe thought.

“Oh come on dude, you’ve been making please love me eyes at her since the sixth grade, and please fuck me eyes at her since the tenth, when are you gonna do something about it for once? You’ve got a month to make a move, or regret it your entire life,” Topper continued his monologue as Rafe tuned him out, too distracted by the girl, his girl, staring out into the Atlantic like it was calling to her.

His heart was pounding as he made a B-line for the water, a light jog, but not so fast someone would think he’s crazy, or just madly in love. He swiftly pulled his polo over and off his head before plunging into the chilly water. Topper clearly knew whatever he'd said had worked.

I heard him before I saw him, Rafe approached and submerged himself just as I had a few minutes before.

“If we get hypothermia I'm sending you my hospital bills.” He laughed, wading around in the shallow water.

“Oh shock! Rafe Cameron threatening his medical bill payments? I never could’ve guessed!” We enjoyed our few minutes of peace before talking again.

“But it’s basically impossible anyways, you get use to it after awhile, maybe it’ll calm your hot-headed ass down,” I giggled and prepared for what always came next. Rafe pickup me up around my waist, lifting me over his shoulder before attempting to sprint as fast as he could deeper into the water. His hands had been wrapped around the back of my knees for a few moments until he threw himself and I down into the deeper water, both of us completely submerged beneath the surface.

The sun was dipping below the horizon now, and the deep blue of the sky was beginning to envelop the boneyard. We had come up for air, and I began splashing him with the water around us, payback for his antics. Theres no way in hell I’d be able to throw him down into the water too, this was the best I could come up with. The two of us were laughing before Rafe grabbed my arms and twisted me around so my back was flesh against his front. I gave up on trying to fight him off. Instead I just rested against him in an attempt to catch my breath.

“Hey Rafe, can we talk about something?” Oh fuck she knows, he thought. This was gonna be it, it’s going to fuck up his entire plan.

“Yeah, uh sure, like here?” He questioned.

“Maybe not here, I think we’ve got as audience,” he knew she was referring to Topper and Kelce, they were watching from the beach.

"The truck then?" I nodded my head, not at all prepared for the favor I needed to ask of him.

The sand stuck to my feet as we headed back to where his truck was, the chilly air wrapping around my body. Rafe opened the backseat door and pulled out a towel for me, always prepared. He pulled the passenger side door and I slid into the seat, the heat of his car pumping through the interior. My heart was pounding, but I wasn’t sure if his was too. We made it about halfway to tannyhill before speaking.

“Soooo,” he said.

“You’re going to think I’m absolutely crazy, Rafe," I laughed in an attempt to hide my nervousness.

"First of all, you're already crazy, and second of all, I'm pretty sure I know exactly what you're going to say," his hands were clenching the steering wheel harder now.

""Oh really? You already knew that I was going to ask you to take my virginity?" I don't know why, but I just blurted it out.

His car came to a screeching halt on the side of the road, lunging me forward as he stared in disbelief at the road infront of him.

"Im sorry, what did you just say?"

"That I want you to take my virginity? V-card? Cherry? Damn Rafe how else am I supposed to say it?"

"And," there was a pause in his voice like he didn't believe me, "your being serious, correct?"

“Correct.”

“And, come again? I need to hear that one more time.”

“Jesus fuck Rafe, I’m being dead serious, I want you to take my virginity, what about that is so hard to explain?” It came out as more of a yell than a scream, he took a long sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. He was thinking long and hard, I knew because he always had something to say, and now he wasn’t saying anything at all. It felt like hours had past before he spoke again.

“Why?”

It was my turn for a long sigh.

“Well, I guess I’ve been thinking about it for awhile, and I want to do it, but whenever I think about it in my head the only person I can see doing it with is you. You’re the only person I trust enough with my own body, I mean shit,” I had to think for a long time before admitting what came next.

“Whenever someone, you know like Scarlet or whoever, asks about who I’m interested in or whatever it may be, not a single person ever comes to mind except you, it’s like all I see when I look at you is you, everything else is like blurred around you and whenever I think about who the love of my life will be, I always think of you, not some mystery guy that I haven’t met yet.” I didn’t plan for this to be a full confession on how I feel about him, but here I am spilling everything I’ve been holding in my heart for the last three years.

“And I know that sounds fucking stupid I know, I mean we’re still teenagers for crying out loud, but when I’m with you it always feels like I’m home.” I was nearly crying at this point, struggling to get the words out of my chest that had been waiting for so long. He was listening, deadly quiet, and I had no idea what he was thinking for once in my life.

“You know what? Just forget about it, can you take me home please?” I was definitely crying now, it felt like I’d ripped my own heart to shreds. Theres no way he could ever feel the same way about me, he protected me like I was his own blood, not like he was in love with me. My face was nestled into the sleeve of my hoodie as the tears came out. His hands had moved back to the steering wheel now, gripping onto it so tight I thought it might break. The muscles in his forearms almost looked like they were twitching, but he still had the car in park.

He wanted to just grab her and kiss her right now, the girl he'd been in love with since the sixth grade sitting in his passenger seat, her seat, confessing her feelings to him. Rafe knew it was alot for her to ask, but it meant even more to him everything that she had said after her original question. And there was no way in hell he was going to let her get away again.

Rafe reached his hand over to hold onto her tear stained cheek.

"y/n," The bother of them were breathing heavily.

"I'm in love with you," it slipped from my mouth and he leaned in to kiss me. It felt like I had a wave of electricity coursing through my body. His hand grasping onto my face as he leaned over the center console. My hand reaching for his chest, his lips on mine as we intertwined with one another. It felt like everything in my life was complete, and the tension has been released. His fingers tangled in my hair.

It was over before I realized it, and Rafe was driving me home. My breathing hadn't normalized in any way, it was like I needed to throw up my heart to get the knot out. I couldn't stop thinking about the way his had felt on me, the way his lips felt on mine, the way it felt for once in my life like I was loved.

"i'll think about it," his voice cracked.

I leapt out of his car as fast as I could with tears streaming down my face. Did he feel the same? Did he not? My brain was spinning so fast I barely made it inside my bedroom door before collapsing. I wrapped myself up in the thick comforter, a heart full of ache and a body exhauster with sleep.

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

#rafe #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron imagine #rafe obx #rafe cameron #obx smut #obx #outerbanks smut #outerbanks

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years

Text

lion primary + slightly burnt lion secondary (badger secondary model) (bird secondary model)

i hope you’re having an amazing day!! here’s my SHC dilemma:

i know my primary is lion, and it feels a little exploded, at that, but at least i know what’s up. but im still extremely confused about my secondary. i tried looking through other submissions, but i didn’t really find anything i vibed with 100%, but then again i have adhd and im really struggling going through all that text, it just kinda blurs together at some point

so, my secondary. taking the test, i always get burnt, often with a vague hint towards bird. at first i immediately adopted that and decided i was a burnt bird, but the more i go the less that feels right to me and i think it might be some sort of model.

Yeah. “doesn’t feel right.” Definitely see the Lion in your sorting.

working by elimination, im pretty certain im not a snake secondary. that ish doesn’t even sound real to me, i know there are people like this because i know a couple, but it’s just so weird to me that some people are just able to improvise so effectively, and seemingly change themselves like that, and they?? enjoy it?? it does sound dope, like i admire it, but wtf.

Lion secondaries can get very *does not compute* when trying to get their head around Snake secondaries. I’m considering Lion for you.

i do act differently in different situations or with different people, but i don’t think i have “personas” as much as degrees of awkwardness

I see the burnt secondary. You’re definitely talking yourself down here. But the way you talk about “degrees of awkwardness” does make me think about the way Lion secondaries “change faces” by modulating intensity.

depending on how much my anxiety is acting up, and the more anxious i am, the more i act like a doormat and revert to the proper manners i was taught, but like… that’s not me, and it’s not done on purpose, i don’t enjoy it.

Looks like somebody’s got an unhealthy Badger secondary model.

it feels gross not to be able to act like myself, whatever the hell that is.

And you didn’t vibe with the Lion descriptions? This is the first time I’m reading though this and… very interested to get to the part where you talk about why you think you’re not a Lion.

im also convinced im not a bagder - my mother is, and there are a lot of those in my community, so i was raised thinking that was the best way to be, an ideal to work towards, but it’s just not comfortable for me, i don’t wanna do it.

Yeah, this would that unhealthy Badger secondary model you were talking about. ^

i don’t even think i *can* do it. i mean, “showing up and doing the work” is pretty hard with adhd, and not even the most efficient way of getting stuff done (at least for me), and thinking of the group and what i can do in that group is annoying. also i get that asking for help is important sometimes but it still feels like that’s just admitting i can’t figure out how to do it myself, which, yikes (don’t come at me i know it’s unhealthy)

Hey, breathe. It’s okay. Nobody is going to make you be a Badger secondary. Clearly you’ve spent enough time struggling under the weight of a model that doesn’t suit you, and now you’re pushing back against everything Badger extra hard.

id rather find a group im a good fit for instead of molding myself to please others.

See, that’s an exaggerated, caricatured way of conceptualizing how a Badger secondary works… but I’m not surprised that you think about it that way.

whatever i do, it needs to come from me.

… you’ve got a very loud Lion secondary.

anyway im somewhere between lion and bird, and at first i thought i was a bird because i do in fact fricking love learning everything i can, i wouldn’t naturally call it “collecting”, i’m just doing whatever’s interesting in the moment

You mean you learn by improvising? :) Like a Lion? :)

but sure, why not - i like collecting languages, knowledge about different cultures, books, music, space, countries, medicine, anything and everything, and i sometimes spend hours researching random stuff that im never actually gonna use “just in case im stranded in the wilderness and need to make soap” you feel? but it’s not actually because i think it might be useful (though i do get random bouts of anxiety over not knowing how to do certain stuff “in case” even though the probability id need them is infinitesimal).

Loving knowledge does not make you a Bird secondary. I’m hearing you talk about about a thing you do for fun, and - this is key - a thing you use as a mechanism to cope with anxiety. ADHD can sometimes make you feel very scattered, going too fast, and your Bird is giving you [the illusion of] control. And I’m not going to knock that. The illusion of control is important.

i just like knowing things and being able to use those things to do stuff. i wanna be “that guy” you can come to with the most obscure problem and they’d have some way of dealing with it. doesn’t that sound pretty bird?

Okay. Here’s the deal. You like Bird secondaries. You think they’re cool, and badass. Maybe you’d like to be one. But I’m still not at all convinced you are. I haven’t heard you use it to solve problems.

but i can’t actually do that stuff. i think i used to, when i was a teenager? but depression and undiagnosed adhd kinda kicked my ass, among a few other things, and now i don’t really have the brain power for it and i feel like im not actually able to learn things as well, or to even think straight.

Wow. That is some burnt secondary talk. I can’t do things.

(I promise you, people with ADHD have absurd brain power, and can learn things crazy well, although not in the same way as neurotypicals. You are right about not thinking straight, which I am interpreting as “in a straight line.” ADHD people think in webs and corkscrews and I love it.)

or if i did, i can’t learn as *many* things as i need to feel accomplished? which idk what you think but it kinda just sounds like burnt bird to me.

Feeling like the secondary you have isn’t good enough can be a Burnt thing... but feeling like you need to manifest a specific secondary *more* (which is what this feels like) is usually a sign of a model.

but here’s the thing. all of those sound real nice. and cool. and a good way of doing things, maybe even the “right” way, even though i know that’s subjective. but lion just feels more comfy, and idk if that’s because im a burnt bird modeling lion or if it’s smth else.

… you mean… like being… a Lion?

cause the “collecting skills and knowledge to solve problems” thing sounds cool, but it’s actually more just the first part that i vibe with? the part where i get to learn stuff! but when actually solving problems, i don’t usually think too long, i just vibe. i see where my instinct is taking me and i apply reason *after* that, or like, as a secondary, support thing. im not a dumbass either, im good at puzzles and logic problems, i can totally think things through and use my skills! but that’s not really how i approach problem-solving. i just jump into the situation and see what part of it is closest and start there, or what’s convenient, or what just feels right or nicer or whatever.

This is a perfect description of a Lion secondary with a supportive Bird model. Like a LOT of neurodivergent people (hi!) you built yourself some scaffolding using the Bird toolbox.

and on one hand it could be that im not confident in my skillset enough to do things the bird way, but on the other hand, thinking back to my childhood and teenage years, when i had better executive skills and i wasn’t as completely scatterbrained as i am I now (i was, but not as bad in some ways), i still did this? like, all of my major life decisions where made on the spot based on instinct and nothing else

I’m definitely seeing the Lion primary come though as well.

whenever i have a problem of the interpersonal sort i just face it and talk to the person and don’t bother hiding or sugarcoating things even if it means hurting that person because i don’t want to lie or come off as something i’m not, when i need to work on a project i don’t bother planning, i just jump in and a strategy forms in an organic way as i go, you know what i mean? isn’t that what this “charging” business means?

Yes.

anyway i have no idea which one is a model and which one is actually mine. i love learning things but i don’t care about actually using them. i mean i like it, of course, but it’s whatever. planning is tedious and it kinda gives me validation because im meant to be “smart” and i guess planning is what smart people do, but it’s annoying and nothing ever goes exactly to plan anyway so you just have to pause and plan again or whatever, and that’s just so boring and frustrating??

I get that you like Bird secondaries, and I get that the picture of “smart person” in your head looks like a Bird secondary but just like… come on…

why not just do the damn thing?? and then what you have to do will be obvious anyway?? and sure, if you planned ahead, maybe you’d already know what you need to do and you’d have prepared it and you’d do it better, but who’s got the time for that?? i can’t use my brain like that! i need to live the thing before it actually feels real enough for me to think about solving it.

I have never read anything more Lion secondary in my entire goddamn life.

i hope this actually made sense and i gave enough relevant information, my head kinda feels jumbled right now. i mean it makes sense to me but i don’t know how this reads from an outside perspective. maybe i should have planned this like an essay or whatever lmao

thanks a lot for answering these & running this blog!!! it’s dope and you give really good insights and you’re just a super cool person!

<3 <3 <3

#LION SECONDARY #badger secondary model #bird secondary model #lion primary #sortme #sortinghatchats #wisteria sorts #submission

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ironwoman18 · 3 years

Text

Garvez Moments Part 11

Chapter 11: Hurricane Andrew

“Where is Luke?!” asked Penelope in between contractions “he promised to be here when our baby arrives”

“He’s still in Florida” said Max “there’s a hurricane”

24 hours earlier

“Ok I will order the food while you pick the movie” said Penelope from the couch and with a big baby bump. Her doctor was worry because she developed a high risk pregnancy so the last month will be at home.

Luke took care of her as much as he could due to his job, and when he cannot, Max and her sisters helped. The art teacher and now member of the Smithsonian’s team had more free times than Luke or Spencer so she was there for the former TA of the BAU.

But this last week Luke asked for a few days off to watch over her. And now they will have a relaxing Tuesday afternoon.

“Sounds perfect, I think I will pick a nice movie so Andrew learn what he should be watching”

Penelope rolled her eyes “you mean Richard? Because that will be his name” they decided to know the gender of their baby so they could have the perfect bedroom for him or her.

They gave the letter to Dave and Krystal so they organized the baby shower and let them know. When the blue cupcake was revealing… the battle began.

Penelope wanted her dad’s name and Luke wanted his, so when they talked about the baby, they used the name they wanted and that started fights between them.

“Whatever… I will find the perfect movie” Luke said irritated but did not want to continue because it might put him and his beloved wife in a fight.

Penelope ordered their favorite Thai food, they had been together for a year and a half and he learned to love her food choices and she still has struggles with his, because of the meat products but respect him.

His phone started to ring “oh hell no… I told Emily I will be busy with you and I can’t answer”

“Babe… your job needs you and I’m sure a poor woman is in need because a horrible man is hurting her”

He sighed but answered “hey Emily”

“Oh hey Luke… I’m soo sorry, I know you asked me for a few days off and I know Penelope needs to be in bed for the rest of the ninth month but I really need you here”

“Why? You have JJ, Spencer, Dave, Tara and Matt”

“Actually Matt is sick and JJ sons are sick and Will is in New Orleans” he sighed “and Tara is visiting her father… So I will need you”

“Ok I will be there in a few minutes” he said and hung up “I will ask Max if she can come here while I’m out”

“It’s ok honey. I will call her while you are getting ready” he nodded and kissed his cheek then she got out her phone and call Spencer’s wife. They talked for a while. And Max accepted to be there in ten minutes.

When Luke was ready, he walked out of their room “did you talk to Max?”

“Yes, she accepted to come. It will take her some minutes to be here so you can go to catch the bad boys” she smiled at him “Call me please” he nodded and leaned in to kiss her.

“I love you”

“I love you too” he smiled and left the house.

Present day

“A hurricane?!” almost screamed Penelope “I shouldn’t let him go!” she said a little frustrated.

“I know the feeling, I’m worry about Spence too but we have to wait” said Max holding her hand “trust him, he will be here as soon as he can”

15 hours earlier

“Ok so the unsub is killing black men?” Luke asked and the policeman nodded,

“They are all in good shape and they are young, maybe in their 20s or 30s” commented him “according to the forensic doctor he killed this men with a knife”

“And when did this start?” asked Spencer.

“Two weeks ago”

Spencer’s brain started to work; if you paid close attention to the boy genius you could see and hear it working. He looked at his coworker and the policeman “the hurricane started two weeks ago according to the weather channel”

Luke started to realize what his partner meant “you think this man is doing this because of the hurricanes?”

“In the past the Aztecs, Greeks, Romans, Egyptians and Incas thought that there was a god that can control weather. So to ask for their good will they used sacrifices to please him. Maybe this man thinks he’s doing the same”

“Maybe it’s time to give the profile” he said looking at the dead man in front of them.

They said that the unsub could be a man in his 20s or 30s, he could be in good shape and very athletic like his victims. He could have polytheistic cultures knowledge and think he is saving Florida because of the sacrifices he is doing. When he realized that they are not working, he will scale and kill more people. They had to stop him sooner.

Present day.

JJ arrived at the hospital, they gave Penelope a room and they are waiting for her time to give birth. She found Max outside with her phone.

“Hey Max, thankfully Will arrived and I could come here” she said to her “where are my godson and goddaughter?”

She smiled “with their grandfather and aunt. They accepted to watch them while I was with Penelope. But now im worry. Spencer doesn’t answer and neither does Emily nor Luke”

“I called Ashley, you know the new TA and she said they were having trouble with their phones due to the hurricane but thankfully they capture the bad guy so they are waiting for the hurricane to move away so they can return”

“Oh thank God…” said the brunette smiling “how are Henry and Michael?”

“Better… they had a cold but I always am worry with Michael especially since Henry had a convulsion when he was about Michael age”

“Oh my… but I’m happy they are better” the blonde smiled.

“I will go see Penelope, you see if you can call Ashley to ask her for them” she nodded and JJ left to talk to her female best friend.

5 hours earlier

The hurricane was getting worse and the unsub had his last victim, this time he captured a woman, younger and beautiful “I’m sure this time the gods will forgive us! I was wrong about using men” he had a crazy look in his eyes.

Before he moved his knife to her throat the team arrived. Spencer was next to Luke holding his gun. He could not help but went to the field to help. He looked at the knife; it was clearly a sacrificial one.

“Back off! I have to save us with this sacrifice!” said him holding the knife.

“Enrique Diaz, I can’t let you kill this woman, it won’t stop the storm” said Spencer with a calm voice “she isn’t the solution”

“How do you know?”

Spencer thought quickly “Because I saw a prophecy” he said putting down the gun, playing along with the unsub “the storm will stop in 6 hours…”

“Because that’s the time a soul takes to arrive to the gods’ palace”

“No, this woman will take longer because she isn’t as pure as you think” he looked at the scared woman, she was confused but decided to remain silence “if you stop killing it will prove them you are committed to let them do their judgement”

“Their judgement?” Spencer nodded “so they won’t stop…”

“No” the man had some tears and dropped the knife. Luke immediately ran to capture the man and spencer helped the victim.

Dave and Emily were at the other door as backup if the killer got crazy.

The rest of the time they stayed at the hotel waiting for the hurricane to past that part of the city.

When it happened the team was able to fly back to Washington DC as fast as the plane could. After the plane touched the land they all left to the hospital just in time to see Luke find out his son was about to arrive into this world.

The nervousness started to run thru his veins. Will be him a good father? Will he be a good support for his wife and son?

“babe you are here” said Penelope after he walked in and sat next to her.

“Yes… I’m sorry chica… a hurricane didn’t let me to be here earlier” he said with a smile “I wish it didn’t happen so I can be here with you”

“its ok my love” she kissed him softly then the doctor started to order her to push. The all peace and love Penelope disappeared and the angry and aggressive one started to treat him to dead for leaving her almost 7 hours in labor while he was in Florida.

Luke knew this was not his chica so he ignored it, she calmed and asked for forgiveness, she was just in so much pain.

A new contraction started and the aggressive woman reappeared “New guy!! You ruined my life… I won’t have another kid with you!”

“You are doing good Penelope. One more and your baby will be here” the doctor said. The couple nodded.

A few seconds later Penelope pushed one more time and they could hear a new kind of cry, the cry of a new person in the world, the cry of their baby boy.

The nurse cleaned him and covered him with a blanked. Then they checked his weight and size.

“You did it great chica, I’m very proud of you” he kissed her forehead.

“Thank you for be here and for helping me with this” she smiled and kissed his cheek then the nurse arrived with the baby.

“Here’s your baby, does he have a name?”

They nodded and when Luke was about to talk Penelope did it first “Andrew Ricardo Alvez Garcia” she smiled and looked at the nurse who smiled and left.

“Andrew? I thought you wanted a different name”

“Yes but you sacrificed a day off to work and you are our hero so that’s your price for doing the right thing, even if that means you weren’t around for a day”

He had some tears and but smiled “I received a lot of recognitions but this is the best I ever get” he kissed his son head “hey buddy. Daddy is here” he smiled big and enjoy his time with his family.

After some more minutes he walked out of the room, all the team and some member of their families were there.

“A new baby boy joined the BAU family. Andrew Ricardo Alvez Garcia” they all smiled and hugged the new father. Kristin handed him a present for the baby and so did the rest of the team.

“You know what is curious?” said Spencer to him “I just heard that the storm we were in its path a few hours ago was named Andrew as well”

“Well my son will be a hurricane then” he laughed and hugged the family he made in the last few years. The members of the BAU were his family in DC.

OOooOOooOO

I hope you liked it. I wasn’t sure what to do exactly for this baby, I had the idea of the hurricane but didn’t want to repeat a case like the one where the unsub was building a body.

This idea of the “old gods” came to me as I was writing; I hope it’s a good M.O. and a “good” reason to kill during a hurricane.

Suggestions are open. Also my stories post season 15 are connected so in this interconnected world The Worst Third Date Ever, Our Most Wanted Date, Double dates and this one are connected and details of Maxcer and the new TA are in the first story, and the evolution of Garvez are in the rest of the stories.

#garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #criminal mind #fanfiction

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