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hisui-dreamer · 1 year

Text

he lives in you

Characters: Leona, Floyd, Jamil, Lilia

Synopsis: You shared a night of passion with your lover before you left for the other side of the mirror, but fate's cruel hands strike once again as you realise you have to raise his child alone in your original world. Thankfully, your child is incredibly drawn to magic, and they opened a portal...?

Tags: slight angst, fluffy end because im a sap, fem reader, reader gives birth to a child, reunions, bot proofread

Word count: 2.4k+

Notes: uh i was practicing Japanese and researching Japanese names before writing this, so all my name ideas ended up in japanese? if it makes you uncomfortable, you can imagine that reader is japanese hehe

right in time for mother's day, so here's to a celebration of the motherly figures in our lives, blood related or not, for being there for us<3

Part 2✧Part 3✧Part 4✧Masterlist

A few months passed as you settled back into your routine at home. Eventually, with the noticeable changes in your body, it dawned on you that you were with child—his child, your lover from the other side of the mirror whom you could no longer reach.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turn into months. You had adapted to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Juggling the responsibilities of work, childcare, and household chores was no easy feat, but you found solace in the small moments of your child's growth and development.

Your child was a true joy to behold, a mirror image of their father in many ways, and you often see the ghost of your past lover in them. Having inherited his magic, your child experimented with their powers, leaving you to support them with what limited knowledge of magic that remained from your NRC days.

On one such experiment, your environment started to shift as a wave of magical energy engulfed you. When you opened your eyes again, he was there, right in front of you—

Hina (日来) with 日 meaning "sun, day" and 来 meaning "coming, future"

Leona reminded you of a shining sun that radiated warmth and light in your life, of how the it would surely shine again no matter how dark the night seemed, and so you named your daughter after that image

your daughter has the clearest emerald eyes and flowing dark brown locks that you often braided in a similar style to her father's

she's very energetic, always curious and asking questions, eager to learn more about the world around her

she's an obedient child, although she's eager to seek your affection and may whine a bit when things don't go her way

if there was one thing that was similar to the Leona you knew, it's that she's extremely clingy and constantly seeks physical affection, hugging your legs and asking for you to carry them any chance she has

and also the fact that she enjoyed her naps a bit too much

her lion ears are a bit of an issue in our world, but you often hide them with hoods, clever hair styling, or simply saying it's a costume

when you told her about the brilliant man her father is, she grew really excited about the possibility of meeting him, and started playing around with magic more to be like the intelligent mage he is

and then it happened, just an ordinary afternoon practicing magic had the two of you transported back to twisted wonderland, face to face to Leona

somehow, he had grown even more handsome in the years you hadn't seen him, but instead of his lazy smile, he looked confident and powerful, like the leader he was always meant to be

A sudden gust of magic swept through the air behind him as he raised his staff in response, only to immediately drop it in shock as your figure came into sight, and beside you, a small child that he had never seen before.

"Herbivore..." he whispered.

Without a second thought, Leona rushed towards you, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He felt a lump forming in his throat as he reached out to embrace you tightly.

"This better not be a dream," he murmured into the crook of your neck as he inhaled your scent. "It's really you."

after a tearful reunion and introduction, Leona quickly excuses himself from his duties with a quick meeting with Falena, and helps you and Hina settle into the palace

since you left, Leona's been working hard to do what he can do as per your promise with him

he's now in charge of foreign affairs and on better terms with his brother after much needed communication

he showers you in affection, he's even clingier than before that it almost starts a rivalry with your daughter

he puts in a lot of effort to spend time with Hina, learning her likes and dislikes and bonding over magic

uncle jack and ruggie are always fun to be around and play with her

though it wasn't his fault, leona feels guilty you had to bare the responsibility on your own for so long, and he puts in a lot of effort to make amends for any mistakes work to build a strong relationship with you two

he has a family now, and you're damn sure he'll protect it with his life

Leona looked down at Hina, feeling a sense of pride and wonder at the little girl standing before him. "Hey there," he said, his voice gentle. "Nice to meet ya, kiddo."

Hina stared at him, her eyes searching his face. "Are you my dad?" she asked, her voice small and uncertain.

Leona's heart ached at the question, knowing that he had missed so much of her life. "Yeah, I'm your dad," he said, reaching out to take her hand.

Hina looked at him for a moment before a smile spread across her face. "Can you show me magic?" she asked, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

Leona felt a sense of joy at her words, feeling a connection with her that he had never felt before. "Of course I can," he said, standing up and taking her hand. "What do you wanna see?"

Sakura (桜) meaning "cherry blossoms"

your daughter has sleek teal hair that reminds you of the sea, a single strand of dark hair, and mismatched eyes in the same manner as Floyd

Floyd had lovingly given you the nickname "Shrimpy", and it only felt right for your daughter to be named Sakura, after the tiny sakura-shrimp

she's incredibly mischievous and there's not a moment of silence with her, she's spontaneous and playful and you've got your hands full

though she is very considerate of you and will listen to your words, she's uncontrollable when she's bored and in need of a spark of interest

she's also a squeezer, much like her father, and hugs you every time she sees you or anyone she likes, and you're thankful her strength hasn't developed too much yet

she enjoys biting you, albeit gently, and you find your arms littered with bite marks, but it's her unique way of showing affection

her eel form won't show unless she's been in the water for too long (thankfully), and she enjoys squeezing you in her eel form even more

ever so curious, she's asked about her father many times, and you've told her how carefree and easygoing her father is, and that he'd love her the moment she saw her

which leads you to her magic actually teleporting you to him, her spontaneous idea having manifested itself, and you found in a dimly lit room similar to the Mostro Lounge

Floyd looked matured, his hair sleeked back and his features sharpened, though his wry smile that you loved had stayed the same

Floyd's eyes widened with shock and disbelief, and his steps quickened as he rushes towards you, his long arms outstretched in a gesture of longing. As he got closer, he noticed the beautiful and curious-looking child standing close to you.

"Shrimpy?" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "No way... It's really you!"

Floyd pulled you close, holding you tightly as if he never wanted to let go. "I missed ya so much, I wish I hadn't let ya go," he said, his voice choked with emotion as tears threatened to spill. "You're not allowed to leave again, okay?"

Floyd is so ecstatic he can't stand still, once he's calmed down a bit, be immediately carries Sakura and drags you to Jade and Azul

Azul and Jade are pleasantly surprised at your return, and it's a warm welcome back

the two of them are glad Floyd won't be moping any time soon

the trio have now expanded into a franchise and divulged into many businesses, though Floyd largely acts as Azul's right-hand man

Now that you're back, he refuses to be apart from you, always holding onto you tightly and afraid you might disappear just like how suddenly you appeared

he does get mood swings where he's upset or angry, not at you though, just at how unfair things were and how he couldn't be there for you

he's a good eel who does everything to make sure you and Sakura are happy and comfortable, often cooking meals for you two

he's so curious about Sakura and enjoys playing with her and lifting her high up in the air

don't worry, he's extremely careful, this precious gem is why you got back to him!

Jade is the best uncle and Sakura wants to marry him??? (honestly same)

poor Azul is getting pranked by the daughter- father duo, though Sakura does comfort him afterwards with squeezes and kissss

Floyd looked down at Sakura, and he saw her staring back at him with wide, curious eyes in the opposite colours of his eyes. Though she resembled him physically, there was an air about her that was so distinctly his Shrimpy.

"Heya," Floyd said, trying to sound friendly. "I'm your dad."

Sakura giggled and reached out to him, her tiny hands grasping at his hands. Floyd froze, not sure what to do, letting her yand his hand forward. But then, she opened her mouth and bit down on finger.

"Hey!" Floyd cried, pulling back in surprise.

Sakura just laughed, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Floyd couldn't help but laugh too, despite the pain in his finger.

"Yer a feisty one, aren't ya, Sakura-shrimpy?" he teased, grinning down at her as he ruffled her hair. "You know," he whispered, "you can't just go around biting people like that. But I like your style."

Isami (功己) 功 meaning "achievement, credit, honour, merits" and 己 meaning "self, serpent, snake."

your son has smooth ebony locks and sharp grey eyes that make him look slightly intimidating

Jamil had shown you how much he valued his achievements over his social status, so you chose a name the could embody him

he's a quiet child who's always attentive and careful

he's rather shy in front of other people, but when it's you he'll soak up all of your affection and stare at you with longing eyes seeking praise

he's a cute helper at home too! he always volunteers to help you with chores and cook in the kitchen, though you're careful he's not close to anything sharp or dangerous

he does have an inherent fear of bugs, something he's inherited from Jamil, but thankfully you've taught him to be less destructive than his father

do expect screams and for him to be crying as a little fly chases him around though

he's incredibly smart and talented at magic, easily grasping the concepts of magic you can only teach him theoretically

when you told him about his father, you've told him about the diligent man that his father is, and how would let his guard down around those he treasured

he had listened quietly without much of a change in his expression, but you could tell there was a bubbling excitement building up in his eyes

and no long after that, he managed to teleport the two of you to a warm, airy room of marble walls

Jamil's features had sharpened, he seemed more openly confident and comfortable with himself

Jamil's heart skipped a beat as he saw you. It had been five years since he bid your farewell at the mirror chamber and lost you forever. And yet here you were standing here in front of him with a child in tow, a child who resembled him so much.

"It can't be..." he murmurs.

Without hesitation, Jamil dropped all the papers and rushed towards you, his heart pounding furiously. His eyes locked with yours, and in that moment, time seemed to stand still. He could see the love and longing still shining in your eyes, and he knew deep down that he had never stopped loving you.

Jamil couldn't stop the tears that began streaming down his face. "I've missed you so much," he said, his voice raspy. "Letting you go is the worst decision I've ever made." He reached out and pulling you into a tight embrace, his arms shaking with emotions.

he's a bit overwhelmed but still so thankful you're back in his life

Kalim barges in at this time and exclaims in surprise at your return and ??? OMG JAMIL YOU HAVE A SON?!!

Jamil has half a mind to dissuade him from holding a banquet immediately to welcome you back, and instead take things slow to not overwhelm you or Isami

asks Kalim for some privacy and the second he's away, he melts into your embrace

he hasn't felt so at ease in so long

if he wakes up in the morning and you're not right there beside him, he's panicking and searching all over the place for some confirmation you're still here

he's very curious about Isami and asks him all sorts of questions to piece together his development and personality

they definitely have a rivalry over who's braver over bugs but it just ends up with the two hugging you for safety

he's a bit awkward with how careful he is with his emotions, so it takes Isami some time to fully trust him

but trust me, Jamil will go above and beyond for his family and there's no way Isami will have to endure what Jamil did in his childhood

Jamil's eyes widened in surprise and wonder. He couldn't believe that they had created a life together. He knelt down to the Isami' eye level and looked into his eyes. "Hello there," he said, his voice gentle and warm. "What's your name?"

Isami starred back at him, his eyes wide with distrust and caution before he buried his face in your legs. Jamil chuckled softly. "It's okay," he comforted. "You don't have to be shy around me. I'm your dad."

Isami looked up at him again, this time with a mix of curiosity and wonder. "Daddy?" they said, testing the word out.

Jamil smiled warmly as nodded, his heart swelling with love and joy. "Yes, daddy," he parroted. "And I promise I'm never going to leave you or your mommy again."

Yuri (百合) meaning "lily"

Lilia's name always reminded you for lily flowers, and what better name for your daughter to embody him?

your daughter has straight raven hair with some of the hair flipping upwards resembling two horns, angular fae ears, and bright crimson eyes

she's always up for pranks and mischief, it's rare to see her without a smile

she loves exploring places, if you keep your eyes off her for one second, she's letting her curiosity take her to whatever she wants

if you're serious and stern though, she will listen to you, she wouldn't dare make her mother upset!

she's friendly with everyone and isn't shy to say hi to neighbors or absolute strangers

she's not overly affectionate, but she definitely enjoys hugs and kisses from you

she has an odd habit of taking stray animals back home in an attempt to adopt them, so you have little adventures with her trying to find an owner

do not let her in the kitchen

she has surely inherited her father's cooking abilities, somehow, she can render even a piece of toast beyond human consumption

magic comes as second nature to her, and she's always standing on ceilings

gosh her eyes absolutely sparkled when you told her about the teasing and mischievous fae that is her father

and soon, the portal opened and you found yourself in a gothic castle lit up by green candles

He's a lot taller, his hair longer and reaching his waist, and more enchanting than ever

Lilia stood in shock as your family figure come into sight. In all his years of living, he had never been so utterly stunned. After all these years, you had finally returned to him.

"Beastie..." Lilia gasped, his voice catching in his throat.

With a surge of energy, Lilia broke free from the trance-like state and hurried towards you, his hair streaming behind him like a dark flag as he enveloped you tightly in his embrace. "After all these years, you've truly come back to me?"

Carefully, Lilia held you at arm's length, studying your matured features, etching them into his memory like a cherished work of art. His eyes traced the lines and contours of your face, memorizing every detail that time had etched upon you.

"My, how you've grown," Lilia murmured, a mix of pride and wistfulness coloring his words. "The years have shaped you into a remarkable individual."

it's family reunion time!!!

he immediately drags you to the throne room where malleus, silver and sebek are

malleus is now king with two incredibly reliable bodyguards, and Lilia's his most trusted advisor

malleus is so glad his dear human friend is back, silver is satisfied that his father will have someone to be with, and sebek is screaming about Yuri, though she enjoys his loudness

for a while, Lilia is extremely affectionate, trying to make up for all the years that had gone by

when you're sleeping together at night, he hugs you tightly and it's difficult to leave his embrace

he definitely tries to cook for you two, going on and on about how the two of you need to stay healthy and need lots of nutrients

you always volunteer your portion for Yuri, and she'll gladly eat whatever her father has cooked for her

silver is an older brother often on babysitting duty, and Yuri loves watching him spar with sebek and also wants to learn

Sebek is quite fond of Yuri, and he sees his half-fae self in her

Lilia is always trying to fun with Yuri, bouncing her high up in the air and teaching her to hang upside down and swing around

plans so many family vacations, he can't wait to be exploring places with his two darlings

"Is she... ours?" Lilia asked. At your nod, he reached out to caress Yuri's cheek, his touch gentle as if he were touching fragile porcelain.

"Well, I'll be damned," Lilia chuckled, his voice cracking with emotion. "I never thought I'd be a father again. But I'm glad to meet you, little one. What's your name?"

Yuri giggled and and beamed at his touch. "My name's Yuri," she said, her voice sweet as honey.

"Yuri," Lilia repeated, his heart swelling with emotion. "What a beautiful name for my beautiful girl," he reached up to fondle her hair. "You know, Yuri," Lilia said, his voice growing serious. "I may not have been there for you when you were born, but I promise I'll always be here for you from now on. No matter what happens, I'm your father, and I'll always love you darling."

Part 2✧Part 3✧Part 4✧Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

#twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland leona #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingsholar #twisted wonderland floyd #floyd leech x reader #floyd leech #twisted wonderland jamil #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #twisted wonderland lilia #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader

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st4rymoon · 11 months

Text

𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘮𝘦

˚ ༘ *⭐︎ Miguel x afab reader

Warnings - 18+. smut. Some Angst. Enemy’s to lovers, sex with a plot, unprotected sex, breeding kink, breath play, arguing, both get physical (get in a fight but nothing too serious), other variants mentioned and Dr. Strange (why not bring him up), after care, teasing, possessive Miguel, biting, messy sex, semi-mean Miguel, pet names (doll, muñeca, princesa, chula), Spanish (translations added)

[pt.2 is out! → better than me pt. 2]

Miguel was obnoxious and self-absorbed, you knew that by now.

You were living your life as the Spider-Woman of your universe with no worries at all until a blonde-haired ghost-looking spider appeared.

You had somewhat of an idea of what she was talking about, after all, you had a Dr. Strange in your universe and he would never stop talking about the multi-verse.

He never mentioned that these variants would come looking for each other but hey, what did you know?

The blonde-haired girl begged for you to meet the others, calming you weren’t alone and had a group of others to bond with. But you had no problem being alone with such powers, matter of fact you enjoyed it.

There was no one to boss you around or scold you which was always a plus as a superhero. That carefree life you had turned sour as you agreed with the blonde-haired girl and went to meet the others.

“By the way my boss, OUR boss doesn’t know you exist… he’s practically found every spider in the universe. But I guess he forgot one, and by the way, I’m Gwen”

You smiled “Well Gwen, YOUR boss will be pleased to hear that it’s almost impossible to find every Spider-Man. There are millions of universes” you shrugged.

Gwen was taken aback by your words, she wasn’t aware you knew about these universes since a majority of the others didn’t. “How do you know?” She questioned with her arms crossed.

“Do you not have a Dr. Strange in your universe? A tall annoying brown-haired man? Middle-aged? No sense of humor? Come one you don’t have one!?” You gasped.

“Never heard of a strange before”

Both of you walked into a giant laboratory-like room, you heard chatter all around you as you looked above and saw dozens of spider variants on the ceilings and walls.

“GWEN! Gwen! May has been getting into trouble have you see- who are you?” A tired-looking brown-haired man looked at you in confusion. “I’m a rouge-killing monster called Spider-Man” you replied.

Both of their faces turned pale at your words “Gosh you guys have no sense of humor! I’m joking” you sigh. “Im a spider variant like all of you, now why’d you drag me here”

“Miguel isn’t going to like this… I’m Peter” the brown-haired man smiled. “And I presume Miguel is the big scary boss man right?”

“Thank you for the kind words” a loud voice boomed from behind. “Miguel! I found another!” Gwen smiles awkwardly.

“Mmh”

You turned to see an attractive middle-aged man with glowing red eyes “She knows about the multi-verse she was talking about some dude called Strange” Gwen nodded.

Miguel tensed at her words, his eyes glued to you as he made his way towards you. “What do you know about strange?” He hummed, circling you like his prey.

“Nothing that’s your business that’s for sure” you chuckle “Well I had fun, I’ll be heading out now” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m talking to you” Miguel yells “No your yelling, have a nice day” you wave as you shoot a web out and swing. Halfway through the swing, your web was cut, causing you to drop to the ground “WHAT THE FUCK!” You yell.

Miguel stood tall with a cocky smile on his face “We aren’t done talking” he shakes his head.

You knew very little about Dr. Strange, sure you’re well acquainted with the universally famous sorcerer but he was a private man. He called you when he needed help and that was it.

To your disbelief, you had no clue other spiders could be so damn annoying. “Well I am, I’m not going to say it again. I AM LEAVING.” You yell.

“She’s just like him” you hear a spider whisper “I AM NOT” you point a finger up at one of them “How could you hear that” they muttered. “Don’t you all have great hearing?”

“Not all of us” Peter shrugged. “What did they say?” Gwen asked. You ignored everyone and walked out of the room. Already halfway through the door, you felt a hand grip your arm.

Turning, you see Miguel’s ruby eyes staring at you. “I suggest you let go of me” you say calmly. It was a shame he was an ass, he was too good-looking to be acting the way he was.

“Threats don’t work on m-“You cut him off mid-sentence, kicking his ankle and making him fall back. You pinned him onto the ground, your leg on his chest and heel pressed onto his chin.

The look in his eyes was a mix of anger and shock.

The other spiders started yelling, Gwen yelling at Peter to stop this and during the chaos for some odd reason you saw a talking spider cat yelling “A cat?” You chuckled causing you to lose focus.

Within seconds you were now in Miguel’s position. His hand on your throat as he pressed his weight onto you “CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” He seethes.

Just as you were about to kick him where it hurts, his hand held your knee in place “Have to be quicker than that muñeca” he whispered into your ear. [t: doll]

Your eyes widened at the pet name. You swear you could feel your cheeks burn red and telling by the smile on his face you knew they were. “This is fun but can we have a normal conversation? Like civilized people?” He replied.

He got off you, holding a hand out for you to stand. You got up on your own, pushing past him as you heard a few whistles and ‘Miguel is flushed look at him’ from behind you.

“Fine. You have 5 minutes”

Miguel led you to his office, one hand on your lower back leading you. “Brave for a newcomer” the annoyingly attractive man smiled down at you “It’s obvious no one stands up to you, I’ll happily be the one to do so” you cooed.

“Sit” he commands while pointing at the chair in front of his desk. You nod and sit patiently for him to start “What do you know about Dr. Strange?” He questioned.

“He’s Dr. Strange what is there to know? He’s a private man for god sake. You surely have one in this universe, don’t you? He’s usually in every universe” you sighed.

“He’s never been in any I’ve visited”

“Or maybe you didn’t look well enough” you chuckle. “I have one in my universe and trust me you aren’t missing out. He only calls when he needs a helping hand and that’s about it” you shrugged.

“How do you know about the multi-verses?” He questioned. “Strange explained to me the importance of leaving it alone, we’ve seen universes almost disappear due to it. People have to learn you cannot change the past, present, or future without losing something so it’s best to just deal with it. In another universe, another life we are happy just think of that”

Miguel clears his throat at your words “Let me guess you lost something as well? By messing with this fucked up world? Who was it? A wife, mother, father, daughter?”

His hands slammed onto the desk in anger “NOT YOUR BUSINESS.” He seethed while he threw his papers on the ground. You knew he was hurting, That’s why he was acting like this.

“You know, I can tell this whole I’m mean and bad act is because your hurt. It’s not healthy to live in the past, we will just rot ourselves from within Miguel. Whatever you lost trust me you have it in another universe” You smile as you stand up, patting him on the shoulder as he doesn’t move a muscle.

“You don’t understand” he growled. “Trust me I do. Why do you think I’m friends with strange huh? I lost someone too you know. But instead of making everyone suffer with me, I decided to tr-“ you couldn’t finished your sentence before his lips crashed onto yours.

You were taken aback by the kiss but couldn’t help but moan into it. You pushed him back slightly “I don’t even know you Miguel” you smiled onto his lips “I know we can change that” he hummed as he lifted you onto his desk.

You were taken back by his actions, was a conversation all he needed to get this riled up?

“You know, out of all the spiders, no one’s said anything like that to me? Not one of them genuinely has a conversation with me” he sighs while pulling back. “Well, you don’t exactly let them say a word without screaming” you chuckle.

“That’s because they all pull away once I raise my voice. It was a surprise when a pretty thing like you came in acting like you own the place” Miguel cooed, his hands trailing up your hips as he pressed himself onto you.

“And I can tell you haven’t gotten laid in a while, you really gonna fuck a girl you just met huh?” You teased. “And are you really going to fuck a man you just met?”

“Maybe, If he can make me want it that bad” you winked, your hands ran down his chest, the spandex-like material of his suit outlining his chest and muscles in the most perfect way.

He chuckled at your response and wrapped your legs around his waist, lifting you before sitting down on his chair. You straddled him as he rocked onto you softly.

You’ve never done anything like this before, you were shocked by your compliance with his actions but you couldn’t help it. You told yourself everyone needed a one-time thing right?

“You sound so fucking pretty” he mumbled onto your neck, your soft sounds making him lose every bit of patience while you tangled your fingers into his hair.

You could tell he was wondering how to remove your suit, you were trying to hide your laugh but it came out either way.

“What’s so funny huh?”

“If you want to remove my suit you press this” You smiled as you grabbed his hand and lifted it behind your neck. His hand instinctively started massaging the nape of your neck as he pulled you into a kiss.

Completely off task with what you were showing him; each of you lost in the other's taste. “Ok, so how do I remove it?” He panted “Like this” You guided him as his fingers went on the hem of your neckline.

You pressed a button from the inside of your suit with his fingers “Like that” you whispered into his ear as you licked his cheek before kissing him.

Your suit was in his hands in a matter of seconds, tossing it somewhere behind him as his eyes admired your curves.

“Can’t believe I missed you out of all of the others” Miguel groaned. His hands not missing an inch of your body as you could feel his painfully hard bulge through his suit. “Take it off” you whined say you tugged at his. He chuckled at your neediness, and complying he tossed it along with yours.

You couldn’t believe other spiders like him existed. You’ve met a few but never ones that were this irritating and gorgeous, to say the least. “Like what you see princesa?” He mocked. [t: princess]

You rolled your eyes and pressed yourself onto him “I do”, you could feel his cock pressing onto your panties. His breathing was ragged and uneven as you nuzzled into his neck.

Sucking and kissing purple bruises onto his neck, your hands tangling into his hair. You felt his fingers tugging at your panties as a way to tell you to lift yourself a bit.

You did as told and let him toss your panties onto the pile of mess on the ground. “Although I love this pretty lace, it has to come off” he pouts as he pulls at your bra “Who knew you’d have this under the suit” he mumbled as he tossed your bra.

“Off” you demand as you tug at his boxers, he smiles in surprise as he sees you so needy “Alguien esta ansiosa”. “Oh shut up” you hiss as he leans onto the chair and brings your hands to his waistband. [t: someone is eager]

“If you want it so bad, take them off yourself” he cockily smiles. Your eyes narrow in annoyance but you were too needy to argue about it. Still on top of him, you tug his boxers down.

You clenched around nothing as his cock hit his stomach. You thought the whisper you let you wasn’t audible but your eyes shot up to his as he watches you with his hands behind his head.

“Love it that much already?”

You don’t bother responding as you go back to kissing him. His hands were back to their previous position, holding you tightly as you felt him rubbing between your folds.

“Shit..” you seethed. You felt his teeth sink into your skin, a loud moan coming from you causing you to slap your hands onto your mouth.

Miguel’s eyes shot up at your actions, his hands pulling them away as he pinned them onto your stomach “I don’t care who hears, hands on my shoulders”

As he ends his sentence he slams into you, your eyes rolling back while a shaky moan leaves you. He holds you onto him for a few seconds, taking in your soaked gummy walls before thrusting into you.

You could hear the wet pornographic sounds coming from the both of you as he fucked into you. Your fingers dig into his shoulders as he wrapped one arm around your waist the other hugging you onto him.

“Love it so much doll, fu- fuck you feel so good”

It was much more intimate than you thought it would be, the way he never broke eye contact even when you squeezed your eyes shut and muttered incoherent sentences into his chest he watched you intensely.

Miguel wondered if this would go anywhere, he hoped it did. He had no reason why he acted on his needs so quickly with you, he hadn’t slept with anyone in a long time and had no problem with it, but the moment he saw you sitting in his office it was like a switch flipped.

“Look at the mess you make muñeca, shit. This pussy was made for me” he huffed. You couldn’t even say a word, the way he felt slamming into you was euphoric.

You could feel every inch of him inside you, the way he curved perfectly in you with each of his thrusts was intoxicating.

You were making a mess, you could feel the cum dripping down your thighs as you bounced on him. “Migu- fuck all for you, only you” you whined. The words spilling from you caused him to fuck you deeper “Nadie más te va ver como te miras orita, eres mía muñeca. Solo para mi” [t: nobody else is going to see you the way you look right now, you’re mine doll. Only for me]

His tone was adoring, he loved seeing the way you clawed at his chest whenever he picked up his pace. Miguel couldn’t help but wrap a hand around your throat when you started to slump on him; lifting you he held you to his lips as he squeezed your throat.

“Feels good huh baby? Your eyes say it all” he groans onto your cheek, his hand still squeezing your neck. You can feel your vision getting hazy, your hand wrapped around his wrist as he smiled up at you.

He let go of your neck, a loud pant leaving you as you caught your breath. But before you could even think your mouth pressed onto his, you couldn’t help but kiss his saliva-covered lips.

His pornographic moans made you dizzy, his fingers piercing your hips as he fucked you senseless while you looked down at him with needy eyes.

You could feel the knot form inside your stomach as his pace picked up, each of his thrusts causing a shaky whimper to leave you as he watched you getting closer.

“O- oh- Migu- M-“ you were crying out words as the feeling of his cock slamming into you and the slight rubbing on your clit from his pubic bone was driving you to the edge.

“I know baby I know, let it out princesa. Gonna fill you full so they all know what happened in here” he chuckled. With that you let go, the thought of his cum spilling out of you made you drunk on him. [t: princess]

You were loud but he didn’t care to quiet you down, he loved hearing how good he was fucking you. “No one’s going to fuck you better than me, I just met you and you look like you’ve been doing this for a while” he cooed.

“You’ve fucked other guys like this huh? The first day you meet them you fuck them?” He questioned. You shook your head weakly, his cock still ramming into you as he watched you bounce along with his thrust.

“No? Don’t lie how many?”

“J- you only” you cried. You couldn’t take the overstimulation, tears streamed down your face as you felt yourself about to cum again. “Only me? How lucky am I huh?” He hummed.

You scratched at his chest, pushing him slightly as his finger moved between your legs and circled your clit. “N- oh m-“ you begged, you buried yourself into his neck as he whispered praise into your ear.

“Doing so good for me chula, feel s- so fucking good” he praised. You felt the mess between your legs run down your thigh, you hugged him as you felt yourself about to cum again. [t: pretty]

“I- Mig-“

“I know baby let it out, I’m f- go on” he seethed. You could tell he was close. His pace was sloppy and his grip on you was getting tighter. You cried out his name in pleasure, the 2nd orgasm hitting you harder than the first as tears streamed down your face.

Miguel’s loud moans filled your ears as he coated your walls. You could feel his cum dripping down to his lap as he messily fucked you onto him. His pace came to a halt, his grip on you was tighter than ever while he took in your warmth.

“Fuck…” he whispered as he kissed your jaw, peppering kisses up to your mouth and sloppily kissing you. Saliva was all over your mouths, the sounds of both of you sloppily kissing each other made Miguel groan.

“You still wanna leave?” He chuckles. Miguel fixes your hair, adjusting it back to normal as he whipped your tears and saliva with his hand. You shook your head, completely drained of energy as you buried yourself into his chest.

You were questioning why he was being so nice. He was just acting like a complete ass a few minutes ago and suddenly he’s treating you like you’ve been together all your lives.

“Do you know what’ll happen if a variant from different verses gets pregnant?” He hums. You shake your head, you’d deal with those thoughts later. All you wanted was to stay in his arms.

“Descansa, I’ll clean us up” he reassured. [t: rest]

#marvel smut #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara imagines #miguel o'hara #Miguel o’hara x reader #miguel ohara #smut #miguel x reader

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yongbokkari · 11 months

Text

interrupted ₊˚. ୭̥

𖦹 pairing — bf!seungmin x reader

𖦹 word count — 1.5k+

𖦹 warnings — hurt/comfort, fluff, slight angst, veeeery small misunderstanding, pet names of babe and baby, seungmin had a bad day and accidentally released it on reader 😿🙏🏻🙏🏻

a/n — result of sentences formed on multiple of 3 am-s (also posting this at 3 am), hope you enjoyyy <33 oh and there may be a few like undercase letters lolol we'll see if i am willing to find them

You were resting on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, waiting for Seungmin to arrive. As soon as you heard the sound of keys jangling, you immediately got up and opened the door before he could even try to unlock it.

You were standing there, waiting for him to come in, but he judt stared at you as if not expecting to see you. "You're here," he said, his face full of signs of exasperation, tired after a long day at work.

"Am i not supposed to?" You joked, raising your eyebrows. but he just muttered a 'nevermind' before walking past you. "Long day?" you asked, attempting to make conversation with him, in hopes that it could distract him from the tiredness.

"Yeah. Think im gonna shower then take a nap," You had made a joke then, about him getting old and acting like an old man, attempting to lighten his mood. "Whatever," he replied to your jokes, making his way to his bedroom and you followed.

"Ah, come on. Old man can't take a joke anymore?" You giggled, poking at his sides when he just stopped in his tracks and turned to you.

"Can you just stop? I'm already having a bad enough day so you can you please stop bothering me?" He snapped, eyes tired but also glaring at you at the same time.

You were shook by the slight raise and edge to his voice so you couldn't really think of anything to reply to him. A few moments passed with you just staring at him and him you.

"Why are you even here," You heard Seungmin mutter before turning away from you, closing the bedroom door and leaving you alone.

"Right," you said to yourself. "Why am i even here?" it wasn't unusual for you to appear at Seungmin's house at random times, and he even made a spare key for you. But that didn't mean you could just come whenever you wanted to.

You gathered your things and got out of the house to drive yourself home. You weren't mad at him, far from it even. Of course you weren't, you didn't have the right to be.

You were more worried about what he said though. Were you really bothering him? Should you just stop going to his house unannounced again? You probably should. He probably just gave you a key just in case he lost his.

When you got home, you immediately started an assignment that was put on hold for quite long, hoping that it could distract you. It seemed seungmin had wanted some distance and space, so you were set on working on it until he reached out so you'd know when it was okay between you.

˖❁ˎˊ•°.

You were typing away on your laptop, earphones plugged in, slightly bobbing your head to the song playing, when you heard a knock on the door. You yelled, allowing your housemate to come in. Except it wasn't her, and when you turned back you were surprised to see your boyfriend with a frown on his face.

"Min?" You paused the song and took off your earphones, turning around to your boyfriend directly behind you. "Min, what are you doing here?"

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" He asked, ignoring your question. he looked absolutely tired, you wondered if he even got to sleep before coming here.

"Texts? My phone..." You looked around the desk you were working on, searching for your phone, discovering that it was on your bed. So you walked over to pick it up to check your notifications but the screen remained dark as you pressed the power button. "Ah... my battery ran out," You lightly chuckled, looking at Seungmin.

"Why didn't you charge your phone then?" He asked, his facial expression serious. It almost scared you how serious he looked, worrying if he had texted you about something important.

"I didn't notice my battery was low... and i was using my laptop for work, so i didn't check," You gestured to the laptop sitting on the desk. "Did you have something important to tell me? I'm so sorry Min, for not being there, I-" Your words were cut off when seungmin just pulled you in for a hug. You immediately wrapped your arms around his waist.

"So you're not ignoring me?" He asked. Usually, you were the one who had to reach up slightly to hug him since he always insisted on seeing you on the tip of your toes. But this time it was him who lowered his body, tucking his chin on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Min, why would i ignore you?" You asked, genuinely curious as to how he had come to that thought. Then he sighed, as if relieved his worries were only what-ifs afterall. You started to rub his back then, and he had started to give in to your body warmth, almost letting his whole weight fall into your care.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did."

You racked your brains for a while, honestly having forgotten about what happened back at his house.

"Oh, that? You don't need to apologize, Min. You were tired, I understand."

"No, it was unreasonable. I shouldn't have let my tiredness out on you," He insisted.

"Then it's fine, I forgive you," you replied, to which he silently thanked you by placing a soft kiss on your shoulder, still not breaking the hug. "But... do you really think so?" He hummed, questioning what you meant. "Do i really bother you?" he slowly pulled away, looking at your face.

"I won't get mad or upset Min, i promise. I don't want you to ever feel uncomfortable because of me. So just tell me what you feel, and I'll act on it, I promise." You said, holding his hands in yours, affirming him that whatever his reply was, you were going to be fine and it won't cause even a slight damage to the relationship, if that was what he was worried about.

He only looked at you then, eyes darting from your left eye to the right, back and forth, mouth a bit downturned, and you were starting to get afraid that what you said made him upset when he cradled your left cheek in his hand.

"You're so good to me," he muttered, frown slightly deepening. "No, i didn't mean it, I don't know why I said that," he threw his head back and blew from his mouth, like he always did when he was about to but didn't want to cry.

He hugged you again pressing his nose even more into the crook of your neck, his eyebrows furrowing at his efforts to not cry. "I'm so sorry babe. You'd never be a bother to me, never. I- I love it when you wait for me to come home, I always do, but today I just- Today was so hard that I just-" He choked on his own breath so you pat his back, trying to get him to calm down. After gaining a steady breathing again, he asked, "Did I hurt you?"

"Well... A bit, but I knew you would never say that without a reason. My sweet boy would never," You chuckled, your hands patting his head, your fingers going through his hair.

He pulled away, meeting your eyes. "I'm so sorry," His eyes were slightly red, the bags under his eyes more prominent now you were seeing them upclose.

"Don't cry, Min, it's okay," You wiped the tears stained on his cheeks, caressing his under eyes. "Did you get any sleep? You look tired, my poor baby," You coo, trying to lighten the mood.

He shook his head. "I couldn't. Was thinking of you," Your heart ached at his soft eyes looking at yours like a puppy lost.

"Oh baby," He leaned into your hand that was cradling his cheek. "Should we get some now? Hm?" When he nodded, you continued, "You go lay down first, I'll go turn off my laptop."

As soon as you reached the bed, Seungmin took you in his arms, your head resting on his chest while one of his hands was on your waist, the other in your hair. Yours were wrapped tightly around his waist, melting into his warm embrace, contrast to your cold skin.

Suddenly he took one of your hands, his thumb caressing the back of it. "Thank you, Y/n, for always thinking of me... I love you."

You raised your head to look at him. "I love you too, Min." You pecked his lips, smiling softly, before laying your head atop his chest again. "Now sleep. Who should I look at after this if you really do turn into an old man?"

He lightly chuckled, pressing a kiss onto the top of your head, as you slowly drift into sleep, hand in hand.

Seungmin wanted to show you how in love with you he was. Everything about you he adored and cherished and he was always on the verge of combusting from how much love for you he contains. Maybe someday that day will come, but for now he'll slowly take small steps into making that moment come true.

#seungmin #kim seungmin #seungmin skz #seungmin imagines #skz #stray kids #seungmin fluff #seungmin hurt/comfort #seungmin scenarios #kim seungmin scenarios #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #skz angst #case 148

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xhoneygirlxx · 7 months

Text

We’re Not Friends

Best Friend!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

summary: Eddie is just trying to help when he offers to be your date to your sister's wedding, but with all the love in the air will you and Eddie be able to stay friends?

warnings: lots of angst. reader's family sucks. reader's mom makes a comment about her weight. anxiety attacks. reader has low self esteem. fluff. best friends to lovers. fake dating. modern au. (this is titled after an Ed Sheeran song and I also use another one of his songs in the fic, sue me). slight smut. allusions to sex. alcohol consumption. swearing. minors dni!!!!!!!!!! reader and Eddie are both in their 20's. no y/n used, reader is referred to as Birdie. skin color/ethnicity/body type is not mentioned. spelling errors/shitting writing, just pretend you don't notice lmao. also the venue is completely made up and so is the location if you couldn’t tell, im not that creative.

*if I miss anything plz lmk*

a/n: hi my loves!!!! this is one of the last fics on my birthday fic list!!! I want to thank all of you for being patient and being so so supportive of my work. I love you all so much!!! also I do go back to work on Monday so I'm going to try to get as many fics pumped out by the end of the weekend.

And that's why friends should sleep in other beds

And friends shouldn't kiss me like you do

And I know that there's a limit to everything

But my friends won't love me like you do

The turning color of the leaves create the prettiest backdrop, tall trees blooming with orange, red, and a pinch of brown. The ones that have already fallen to the ground get swept up under the wheels of Eddie's car, lifting up and swirling around in a pretty dance, and falling right back into place waiting for the next car.

Although the crisp fall morning is peaceful you can't help but feel like you're living a nightmare. As he soft hum of Eddie's playlist flows through the speakers, you're coming up with a plan to turn the whole car around.

So far you thought about faking an illness, one that would stop the whole journey in it's tracks, only to dismiss it because you couldn't put your best friend through that stress. The idea of pulling the steering wheel also came to mind but you quickly threw that out of the window, not wanting to cause injury to the innocent man next to you or anyone else. Your final idea was one you're sure you could pull off as long as you used all the power within your being. If you pushed your feet on the floorboard hard enough, you could poke them out like the Flintstones and stop the car that way.

Between science and logic, you knew that wasn't possible no matter how hard you wished it would. Instead you'll stare out the window, watching all the pretty trees dance in the wind while you push down the rising anxiety that's forming in the pit of your stomach.

"You good over there, Birdie?" The deep voice next to you shakes you from your thoughts.

Turning your head Eddie's already looking at you with a lopsided grin. His demeanor matches the landscape outside, relaxed and serene. As you look at him you wish you could trade places, be as pleasant as he is.

"Yeah I'm just tired." Trying to sell him your answer, you smile lazily at him even though your response holds more tension than a game of tug of war.

Turning his attention back on the road, you watch as the pavement moves on the darkened lenses of his sunglasses. Eddie looks pretty like this, even though you always thinks he looks pretty. Usually he would be a grump having to be up this early, but today he wears his smile like a badge of honor. The dark curls of his hair cascade down his back, while some falls over his shoulders.

He's wearing the same red and black checkered flannel he always does this time of year, the same one you said was your favorite three years ago and it still holds that title. Underneath is a plain black tee shirt, the only one he has that's free of any band name, and a dark blue pair of jeans that have no holes.

He's still the same Eddie, his rings still sit on his fingers and his pick still hangs from the chain around his neck, but it seems that he only gets prettier and prettier as time passes by - like the turning leaves that still hang on the branches of the trees that you drive by.

"I think you're worried about this whole wedding thing," His voice is unwavering, screaming "I'm right" like it always does. "I don't get what's so bad about an open bar and free food."

Although his point is valid, Eddie couldn't be more wrong than that. This wasn't just an event to get drunk for free and stuffed to the gills at no charge. This was your older sister's wedding, the same sister that was the apple of your parents' eyes. Veronica was your arch nemesis since birth, a rival that you had no option but to defeat in order to survive.

You were the outcast of the family, the black sheep if you will, and you had to endure eighteen years of nonstop torture because of it. Your parents, Christine and Tim, were nothing but successful. The doctor and his trophy wife, the star couple in your small community, that had two beautiful and healthy children.

However you were the hardheaded child, the daughter that didn't have a bright future, you didn't carry as much promise as Vee, and your parents made sure to remind you of that every day. So when you moved out three years ago, you made sure to distance yourself as much as you could. But when you received a pristine white envelope with a glamorous invite on the inside, you were roped right back into the hell hole you worked so hard to leave behind.

You could've just ignore it, faked that you were on a trip and couldn't make it but your mother pretty much threatened you into showing up. So that's how you ended up in the countryside right outside of Chicago, driving in Eddie's Toyota Corolla to the Jefferson Manner on a Friday at eight am.

"You're right, Eddie, I should be so thrilled by that. Thank you so much for pointing it out to me." It's snippy with a hint of malice, and your eye roll held enough venom to injure an army of men.

Whistling loudly, Eddie chuckles lightly. "Woah, killer. Relax, I was just tryna help." He's still soft despite your outburst, sweet like your pumpkin spice latte that sits in the cupholder.

Hanging your head, you inhale a deep breath and release it slowly. "I'm sorry, Eds. I just really fucking hate my family."

He switches his attention from you and the road, taking in your saddened features. Reaching his right hand over the console, he places his hand searches for yours and laces his fingers through yours, which you gladly except.

"Don't apologize for that, kay? That's a valid reason for you to not want to go, I was just trying to make you laugh." The sincerity in his voice wraps around you, easing the nerves that go haywire in your body.

His palm is warm like the coffee cups that sit in the cup holders, his voice is as calming as the trees in the wind, and his smile is just as pretty as it was the first day you met him. You're safe with him, the safest you've ever been in your life, and here in the front seat of his car he reminds you of that.

"They just make me crazy, s'why I don't like seeing them." You feel shy being vulnerable, refusing to meet his gaze by focusing on tracing the back of his hand with your free one.

Eddie doesn't mind, instead he reassures you with a quick squeeze of your hand. "If it makes you feel any better, Birdie, I like you a little crazy."

Dimples deep as the sea and smile still as delicate as a flower's pedal, Eddie looks like a painting that hangs in the Louvre. You want to capture this moment of him to have for the rest of your life, so no matter what you can always remember him just like this.

"You say that now." You tease and he eats it right up.

Looking back over to you, he shines his smile onto you, filling you up with the light of a million stars. "And I'll say it till the end of time." There's no tease to it, nothing but truth in the way he says it.

It turns you into jelly, the feelings that swim through your blood stream, and now you've become too sheepish to answer. You decided to trust your touch over your words, squeezing his hand the same way he did to yours, trying your best to communicate the feelings you hold secretly in your heart for your best friend.

The cobblestone driveway leading to the entrance of Jefferson Manner is, for a lack of a better word, beautiful. It is a straight drive to the property, but once you get closer, a large fountain sits in the middle where the arch of the circle driveway starts.

Different colored cars are already lined up, some you recognize and the rest you have no clue who they belong to. Either way it's pretty evident that Eddie 2018 Toyota sticks out like a sore thumb.

The same dread that you left 45 miles back, is now running through you again. Unintentionally, you squeeze his hand harder as your heart begins to pound in your ear and if it hurts him he doesn't mention it. Instead, Eddie gives you one, two, three squeezes and then lets you continue your attempt to stop the blood flow to his hand.

Pulling behind the Mercedes Benz S Class, he puts his car into park and then shuts the car off. Reading your expression the way he always does, he sits in the silence of the car with you until your features loosen up.

"You okay, Birdie?" Even though he knows you're not okay, you still appreciate him asking anyway.

Breathe in. This is temporary. Breathe out. This is not forever. Breathe in. I am safe. Breathe out. I am here.

You repeat this to yourself a few times, eyes clamped shut as you focus on your breathing pattern. Once your head is above water and your heart stops racing, you open your eyes back up to the real world.

Relaxing your shoulders, you let go of the grip you're holding Eddie's hand in. "I'm okay. I'll be okay." Despite answering him, it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself of what you're saying.

Another brief pause goes by and Eddie continues to monitor you, sunglasses now removed so not only can he see you but you can see him.

Your gaze is unwavering, the thousand yard stare has fallen over you and you have yet to dig out of it. "Are you prepared for what we're about to walk into?"

The tone of your voice scares Eddie, the emotion being sucked right out of the words that you speak despite the feelings that battle in your mind that he doesn't know about.

"Honey, I'm prepared for anything as long as I have you." For a split second he winces, wondering if that was too cringy but when your face breaks out into a sweet smile he feels better.

The two of you get out of the car, retrieving your suitcases and dress bags from the trunk. When the door shuts you begin to count the steps it takes to get to the big wooden doors of the mansion.

You don't have to ask Eddie for his hand, he's already giving it to you and you gladly except it, gripping on for dear life the closer you get. Despite the beautiful landscape and the soothing sound of the running fountain, you feel like this is the soundtrack that plays before your imminent death.

The tall, thick, wooden doors sit menacingly in front of you, the skeletons of your past standing just right behind it waiting for your arrival. The ghosts that have haunted your dreams, the graveyard of your history, and the phantoms of your family, mingle and laugh right behind this door.

Eddie waits for you, not moving a muscle until you say so, and you silently thank him with a smile. Like a switch, he watches your face change from flight to fight mode. In a flash your looking over your outfit, brushing down the long black sleeved shirt that sits on your torso, and then straightening out the jeans that stick to your legs.

Your hair is the next thing you frantically fix, pushing it behind your ears and out of your face, letting it fall over your shoulders while doing so. Like a buzzing bee, you zone in on Eddie, fixing the collar of his flannel and then smoothing the material of his shirt. With out speaking, you pick off a singular piece of fuzz from his pants and then let it blow away in the wind.

Moving your hands back up to his chest, you center the pick on his chain. Then move his hair, fixing the ringlets that got blown around in the breeze. Once your satisfied, you move back to your spot next to him and sweep his hand right back into your hold. Releasing on more deep breath, you settle your pinched eyebrows and your determined eyes, and let the worst fake smile settle onto your lips.

The smile doesn't reach your eyes the way it usually does, your teeth push against one another so forcibly Eddie wonders if you'll shatter teeth, and you simply look like your in pain. Either way, you push open the big oak door and let yourself inside with him following right behind.

The lobby of the manner is everything you expected, high ceilings, a crystal chandelier, and every single family member of yours gathered around sipping champagne and speaking to each other like a potential client.

Even though it's magnificent inside with the beautiful décor and lively plants, the sight of everyone in their gaudy outfits and cheap laughter makes it feel like an eternal hell.

Eddie must feel the way your shoulders tense because he's quickly leaning into you, his voice just a whisper in the shell of your ear.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. You have me and I won't let anything happen." He reminds you, his smile is more sympathetic than anything.

Nodding your head you remain smiling, it's awful and it hurts even doing it but if you want to survive the whirlpool of piranhas, then you just have to fake it until you make it.

"If it isn't our lovely Birdie!" The sound of your mother's voice is like silk, smooth and confident, just like she always was. Walking over to you, she holds a champagne flute in her hand and you wonder how much the bubbling spritz cost your father.

The last time you've seen her was last winter, her million dollar smile outshining the Swarovski crystal tree decorations that sit behind her. Your mother has always been beautiful but her insides are rotten, ugly and maggot infested, all hidden behind the mask that she put on for everyone to see.

You gave up a long time ago trying to figure out her brain, finally accepting defeat to the maze that was her mind. Now when you look at your mother all you see is a shell, a hallow covering that has nothing to offer you other than it's pretty design.

Pulling you into a hug, you're hit with her scent. She smells like Dior and cashmere, the Chanel outfit that sits on her body scratches your skin, and the pearl necklace she wears jabs you right in your collarbone.

"Hello mother, thank you for inviting me to such a wonder occasion." You instantly revert back to your old accent, the same one your mother instilled into you from the time you could even under stand the English language.

A faux laugh comes from her bright red lips, "No need for that, darling, you're always welcome." Her manicured hand waves at you in fake genuineness.

The smile on your face continues to show and you hate to think it matches hers. Even with the sweet tone you use and the gentleness of your actions, the blood that runs through your body continues to boil the longer she stands there.

Eddie on the other hand stands next to you completely and utterly amused by your fake performance. The snort he lets out when you continue to use your "eloquent" voice is quickly covered up by a sniffle.

Like a vulture, your mother's eyes are quick to zero in on the curly haired man next to you. "Excuse my daughter for her bad manner of not introducing us, I'm Christine."

The minute her hand reaches out for a handshake, you're heart stops. This is the one thing that could make or break this whole trip and it was the only thing you didn't prepare your best friend for. Many years of your life, you were trained that a handshake is all it takes for someone to learn about you.

Without skipping a beat, Eddie simply picks embraces her hand like a prince out of a Disney movie and places a kiss to the back of her unwrinkled hand.

"What a pleasure to meet you, Christine, I'm Eddie. And might I say how beautiful you are."

He's all dimples and doe eyes staring at your mother, a true prince charming in his red flannel and jeans. His voice is like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold day, it's smooth going down your throat and it warms your belly better than any blanket can.

That warmth is now tingling your body, a frenzy of butterflies flapping around in the walls of your heart. It clearly works on your mother as well but unlike you she doesn't hide it very well.

"You're really the charmer, Eddie." It's flirtatious and alluring, the same voice she put on for every pool boy your father ever hired.

Annoyance and anger floods through you and you know that your eyes would be shining green to anyone with a trained eye.

While she clutches her pearls and eyes Eddie like he's a four course meal, you intervene into the conversation before it can continue.

"Where's daddy? I'd really like for my boyfriend to meet him." You bat your eyelashes like a pageant queen and your arm acts like a python wrapping around Eddie's, making a mark on what is yours.

"Oh you're father's around here somewhere, you know how he is." She dismisses, taking a drink from her glass and swallowing down the golden liquid quickly. "So how long have you and Birdie here been dating?"

"It's going to be two years next month. Isn't that right, honey?" Eddie turns to you and gives you a playful smile.

Looking back at him you hope he can see the misery that hides being your eyes, a white flag of surrender.

Your mother on the other hand doesn't care about your answer, that's why she didn't ask you. She's reading Eddie, trying to see how much she can push your so called boyfriend until she gets what she wants.

"Well that's just wonderful, young love is a beautiful experience. You have to be careful with Birdie here, she's known to leave the nest quickly." It's a jab, a spiteful and mean comment headed right for your gut.

Eddie doesn't miss the way you're lips falter for a second, the flash of hurt in your eyes. It kills him watching you stand there and take all the comments from your mother like stray bullets.

Turning his attention back to your mother, he gives her a smile, one that you would know as a wicked one but to a stranger would seem kind. "I don't think that will be a problem. Birdie knows where her home is."

It's a direct warning, a clear sign to your mother to not mess with you or what is yours. Just him sticking up for you like that makes your stomach twist in excitement, a feeling you've grown so used to over the course of friendship with Eddie.

"Well, I'm glad she finally found her place then." Your mother responds coldly, clearly hearing the bite in his tone. "Why don't you two go find your room and get settled in, rehearsal dinner is in a few."

Before retreating into the large crowd of family, your mother turns back to you in one more attack.

"Oh and Birdie, wear something that will hide that stomach. Don't want anyone to assume you've been knocked up."

Once you've found your room, you all but rush Eddie inside slamming the door behind you. In the quiet safety of your suite, you can relax your shoulders that have been sitting high since you've arrive.

"Jesus Bird, you weren't lying." Eddie says as he flops himself on the queen sized bed.

You don't respond, instead you squeeze your eyes shut and try to calm the heaviness of your breathing. Behind the darkness of your eyes, little twinkles of stars flash from how hard you have them closed, the swooshing of your heart continuing in your ears like angry waves of the sea.

Breathe in. This is temporary. Breathe out. This is not forever. Breathe in. I am safe. Breathe out. I am here.

You repeat this to yourself over and over again, trying to erase the cruel words of your mother and the images of disgusted family member's faces out of your mind. You're not sure how long you've been standing by the door until a hand grasps at your wrist lightly.

"Birdie," Eddie's coax goes unanswered, "Come on, Birdie."

Warm calloused hands travel to the plump of your cheeks, lifting your face up just enough that he can see you. Finally opening your eyes, you're relieved to be looking into the golden whiskey pools of his.

Smoothing his thumb over your cheek he doesn't say anything, just lets your breathing calm down. Here you are, in the nice room behind the shelter of the locked door, and he's here.

Breathe in. It's okay. Breathe out. You're safe. Breathe in. You are here. Breathe out. So is he.

It's enough to let your feet move on the plush white carpeting, while Eddie leads you to the bed with the tug of your arm. Sitting on the plush mattress on crisp linen sheets you're grounded, and with the heat of Eddie sitting next to you and his hand in yours, you're anchored.

The rehearsal dinner goes over well enough, the Irish mule helping with every single speech that's given and every horror story of your childhood that is told. Luckily for you, Vee didn't ask you to be in her bridal party so you didn't have to attend the actual wedding rehearsal, and even better you won't have to deal with her for the real thing tomorrow.

Eddie does great at dinner, he talks to your father who surprisingly likes him, both getting along over their love for vintage cars. Your soon to be brother in law and his groomsmen also get along with Eddie, they laugh and cut up most of the time while clinking beer bottles together. Not to mention every single woman there wanted to get into his pants, swooning at everything he said and giving him the 'fuck me' eyes while doing it.

You hated it, every single minute of it. Like always you were ignored, simply looked over until some story was being told where you were ultimately the joke of. Any time someone asked you what you were doing with your life, you were met with cringing smiles and snickering laughs.

Four separate times your mother commented on your dress, the way it fit, the price value of it, and how it really wasn't a good color on you. All of your sisters friends rolled their eyes and whispered back and forth while staring at you, aunts and uncles acted dumbfounded when you told them that you were a freelance writer for a small music magazine back in Indy, and your cousins made comments about how badly you look since the last time you saw them.

It didn't matter anyway, even if your sister asked how you managed to get a stand up guy like Eddie to agree to be with you, in front of all of the guests. You had to remind yourself that you were there for the free booze and food or whatever the hell Eddie said in the car on the way here.

This wasn't a popularity contest for you, it was simply you being forced to do something against your wishes because your mother said so. You asked yourself why you even listened to her in the first place while letting the brown liquor burn in your stomach.

Why was it so important that you even showed up here? Why did you have to come to the awarding ceremony of favorite kid when you knew you weren't going to win? Why would you even set yourself up for such failure just because your mom said so?

Well, you're answer came when a flushed faced Eddie was laughing with your grandparents at one of the round tables in the corner. His eyes crinkled at the sides and his head was leaned back so you had a clear view of the neck you loved so much.

Then you looked over at your sweet looking grandparents who laughed loudly at whatever was said. Your grandmother had her hands on her cheeks, shaking her head back and forth, and beaming brightly. Your grandfather smiled around his cigar, big round belly jumping with laugher, and his cheeks smooshing up against the frames of his big glasses.

You didn't come here to win a competition. You didn't come here because your mother threatened you within an inch of your life if you didn't. You didn't come here because you thought it would be fun.

You showed up because you wanted to prove to the people who doubted you for so long just how happy you were. You wanted to prove that happiness doesn't come from the amount of money in your account or how many rooms sit in your house. You came here because you wanted to prove that they were wrong, that the grass on the other side of the fence could be green too, and that someone who grew up differently that you could still do amazing things.

Eddie was someone that your father would've had you kicked out over bringing him home in high school. Eddie was the boy your mother would tell you to stay far away from. Eddie was the kind of guy that your sister wouldn't look twice at because of who he was.

But right now, during the beautiful dinner the night before your sister's wedding, your best friend/fake boyfriend has them all wrapped around his guitar calloused finger.

Not much has been said between you and him, especially when he was the man of the hour. You're not really complaining though, you're happy that he made a good impression with them. When the night began to settle into your bones and the alcohol started to make you tipsy, you slyly walked up to Eddie and tugged on his sleeve to let him know it was time to go.

On the walk back to the room, you sway slightly with every step you take, balancing on the walls with one hand while the other holds your strappy heels. When Eddie stops and turns to the door of your room, you all but smack into him with clumsy steps.

While he fumbles with key, you're in blissful content with your eyes closed. The kick of the lock and the turn of the handle doesn't even pull you out of your daze, instead you hold your arms out like a mummy and feel around until you find Eddie's clothed back.

You can tell Eddie is laughing by the large breath that passes through his nose and the tell tale sign of him kissing his teeth. Large hands wrap around your wrists, guiding you into the doorway that you can't see.

Your cheeks are warm, the smile on your face is permanent, and the buzzing in your heart makes you feel light on your feet.

"Alright mummy, lets get you into bed." Letting go of his hold on you, you feel him slightly brush past you to close the door. His voice sounds like the way stars look, sparkling and bright, twinkling all around.

You giggle, eyes still shut and your nose scrunched up. "M'not a mummy but I could be if ya want."

Putting your arms out, you lean back and forth on your feet to mimicking what you think is a mummy but looks more like a zombie.

"Baaaaahhhhh, I'm a mummy. Be very afraid." You deepen your voice, dragging the syllables of every word to make them come out slower.

Eddie must be entertained because the sound of a loud raspberry comes from where he stands, the clear sign of him losing the grip on the laugh he'd been holding in.

Cracking one of your eyes open, you hope to find him with rose cheeks and dimples flashing, the look you love so much. Instead you see him, beaming at you without the shine of his canines. It's an admiring smile, one where your eyes go all gooey and your smile is simple yet dipped with so much love.

Opening your eyes all the way, you let your arms down slowly to rest by your sides, a meek look painting your face.

"Did I do good?" You ask, even though you didn't really want his opinion.

"I think you're perfect." It comes out even, smooth like the hilltops in December covered in a layer of the purest snow.

The two of you sit there for a while, soaking up the glow of each other and letting it sink into your souls. For a moment you wonder if he feels it too, the spark that you feel whenever he's around. You wonder if he feels like crying simply because he loves you that much. You wonder if he wishes this whole dating thing wasn't just a lie and that it was true, the same way you wish it was.

Once the moment ends for him, he's clearing his throat to clear any lovesick daze that's left. "I guess we better head to bed, huh?"

Scratching at the back of his neck, you try with everything in your power to not look down where his turtle neck rode up, where the patch of mouth watering hair trails from his belly button to underneath the waist of his pants.

A part of you wishes you stuck it out longer, stayed in your seat at the dinner table just to see him in his outfit longer. He asked you to help him pick it out this morning and when you think back to it, you get flustered with thinking how domesticated it felt. Making him try on different shirts and jumping for joy when he walked out of the bathroom wearing a turtleneck he swore he'd never wear. The khakis you pulled out of his suitcase was the cause of so much laughter and the pink tinge that sat on the rounds of his cheeks.

God, he looked so good, especially with his hair pulled back and the dangled earring that sat in his ear, but now it would all be a memory for you to file away in the back of your brain.

Eddie had already started taking off his dress shoes, sitting on the edge of the bed bent over and messing with the knots that kept the laces together.

The smile that once held your lips high and proud, now weigh down in a sad frown. Even after the success of the dinner and proving everyone wrong, you are now brought back to the reality of what you and Eddie were. Just friends.

"Since I'm a gentleman and I can't see to get these shoes untied, I'll let you shower first." His voice comes out strained from how hard he pulls on the knotted strings.

You don't say anything, quietly nodding your head before shuffling over to your suitcase that sits by the closet. Grabbing a sleepshirt and some shorts, you go to move around the lanky man that can't get his shoes off no matter how hard he tries.

Without a sound, you kneel in front of him, placing your clothes somewhere off to the side. Taking his calf in your hand, you place his foot on your thigh. Delicately, you remove the first shoe and then the next.

"Y'didn't have to do that." It's quiet but not enough to be a whisper, still you shrug.

"I didn't but I wanted to." It seems so simple when you say it, even though deep down inside you wanted that last piece of your fantasy before it goes away for the rest of the night.

"Will you help me with my dress?" You ask him, standing on your feet and turning so that the golden zipper is facing him.

In the mirrored closet door you can see him and how he hesitates for a moment, shaky hands lingering in the air before they close in on the gold slider.

The sound of the metal teeth unlatching from one another fills the room, clouding the unrhythmic beat of your heart. You try to remember the feeling of him on the sacred part of your skin, the way his light touch tickles you and makes goosebumps rise. You want to memorize it like your favorite song, so that when you leave this place and the fake nature of this whole thing goes away, you still have something to think about on those bad days.

It ends too soon for your liking, his hands retracting right back to the sides of his body like a measuring tape. With the fuzz of your tipsy has now wore off but the sting of everything still remains.

Giving him a small smile and muttering a thank you, you hide in the bathroom where the sound of running water hides the muffled cries that leave your throat.

Waking up felt more painful than any hangover you've ever had. The pain of Eddie's bare back facing you was heartbreaking. You force yourself not connect the freckles that litter his skin or trace your fingers along his spine and shoulder blades.

It's a sight you've seen plenty of times and sharing a bed is something you've done more than enough that you're not uncomfortable. Yet your heart squeezes, wrapping itself up in the tightest loop so that it hurts to even breathe.

The sound of his soft snores only makes it worse, imagining what he dreams about and if it's you.

You use all of the willpower that's left in your body, marching over to the small kitchenette that sits in the corner of the giant room. Pouring yourself a cup of coffee, you try to focus on the swirl of dark liquid mixing with the coffee creamer and how they mix together so perfectly. Without much of a peep, you slide the glass doors that lead out to the balcony and sit down in one of the plush chairs.

You look out over the mountains of colors, tracing over the lines of trees that go on for miles. Although pretentious, you think Veronica did an excellent job and choosing this location.

Sipping on the hot beverage, you watch the clouds in the blue sky go by, wondering what it would've been like if your sister asked you to be a bridesmaid. You imagine that the two of you would've actually gotten along and maybe even laughed together. You envision what it would've been like to have your mother compliment you in your gown and how it would feel to take a picture with your family where all the smiles were real.

Tears begin to burn the back of your eyes, falling rapidly like a fall rainstorm. The skin of your cheeks burn slightly from the heated trails of water that fall. You're sad and incredibly so. Within the first twenty four hours of being here, you remember how much of an outsider you really are to these people.

Even with the company of Eddie, someone that truly loves you, you still can't help but feel so fucking lonely. To put on the mask you wore for many year back on and pretend that the man standing next to you is yours to claim is harder than any other time you had to do it.

This time you weren't really faking it, the love that you showed to him, the happiness you felt with him was real, just the titles weren't. With the cool fall chill, your coffee has gone cold but your tears keep coming.

"You made yourself a cup of coffee but not one for me, and this is how I find out? That's just mean." Eddie's curly hair pokes out from the small gap in the sliding back door that he's created.

His eyes are squinted from the harshness of the morning sun but his cheeky smile is forever unwavering. Sliding a space big enough for him to go through, he stalks out onto the small space in his plaid pajama pants and a hoodie he must've thrown on.

Trying your best to cover up that you've been crying, you wipe the back of your hand across your cheeks, but Eddie still catches your movements.

Instead of embarrassing you, he sits down in the chair across from you and looks out over the balcony.

"You okay?" It's a simple enough question, one that you can answer with one word and he wouldn't pry for more information to not overwhelm you.

Sniffling, you shake your head yes and then move your gaze to where his is. "No, yeah, m'good. The view really does something for me." You say, chuckling just a bit at your own joke.

Eddie also laughs, only this time it's not as genuine as it usually is, just a hard exhale through his nose.

"Yeah, sure does." He agrees, letting his eyes follow the red and orange of the tree tops.

A calm silence falls over you two, only the sounds of the birds that fly and the ruffle of the leaves can be heard from where you sit. It's peaceful.

"You know, I really thought this weekend would be different." It comes out of your mouth as easy as the breeze that blows. Still your eyes stay trained out in front of you and past the mountains of trees.

Eddie doesn't respond but the hole that he burns through the side of your head with his eyes tell you he's listening.

"When I was little, I used to imagine the day Vee got married. I would fantasize that maybe one day we could be close enough that I could enjoy this day with her and we could be sisters for once." You exhale an uneven breath, moving your sights to the cup that still sits in your hand.

"I just wanted all of us to be a family for once. I wanted my mom to actually act like she liked me, for my dad to say that for once he was proud of who I was, and for Veronica, I just wanted her to say she's happy that I'm her little sister."

Just like that, every single thing you've carried since you were little is now out in the open, whipping around in the wind like the dead leaves. Even with the amount of burden that's been lifted, the pain still remains the same. It all hurts, stabbing you over and over again in the scars that you worked so hard to patch up.

Eddie doesn't say anything and for a moment you don't think he'll say anything at all. You watch him pull out the pack of cigarettes he had nestled in his pocket and place one in between his pretty pink lips.

Another second goes by and he's flicking the wheel of his lighter, shielding the flame away from the wind so he can light it. When the end of the smoke burns red, he takes a big inhale and then lets the cloud of smoke out.

"I know what I say won't matter," He starts before taking another drag of his smoke, "But these people don't fucking mean anything."

"They're you're family and I get that but they don't fucking deserve you, they never have. A fake boyfriend, a new haircut, or a cool job shouldn't define their love for you. They're shitty people who were blessed with an amazing person and they didn't even realize it."

Eddie looks at you the same way he speaks, with nothing but truth. You let the words settle in your mind, letting them soak in, in case you forget.

The tears that once ceased start to flow again, except this time it's from relief. It feels good that someone else sees your worth, to know someone actually holds value to you.

"It kills me that they treat you the way they do, that they can say all those things without batting an eye. I know why you asked me to come here and I know I have a job to do, but man do I want to rip them all a new asshole."

Although he speaks with fire behind the words, you have to laugh from the thought of the actions. The moment you giggle, his own smile forms.

"I hope you know that I love you and when everything is done and over with, we'll give them the bird." To make his point, Eddie raises his middle finger high into the sky.

Repeating his actions, you hold your own finger to the sky and smile happily while doing it.

Letting his arm fall back down into place, he pats the tops of your thighs and stands from the chair.

"That's my girl, now let's get ready for an open bar and free booze." Holding his open palm to you, he helps you up.

The wedding reception was what you thought it would be, drawn out and boring. The only saving grace of the whole thing was Eddie's commentary, the scruff on his face tickling you every time he leaned close to your ear.

A lot of the things he was saying was probably just to make you feel better but you did have to agree, the dress Veronica picked out was a bad rip off of Princess Diana's and it shouldn't have seen broad daylight.

You did however get choked up when the vowels started, not because you were happy with your sister but because you wish that were you and Eddie up there instead.

All and all it was okay, even though one of your brother in law's aunt's wore a hat so big you couldn't see past it most of the time.

The wedding reception though was beautiful. The décor of the manner looked exquisite against the maroon coloring of all the bridesmaids dresses. The tables had beautiful bouquets sitting in the middle and you can't help but laugh imagining your father cutting a check for all of them.

To much of yours and Eddie's delight, there is an open bar that is stacked high with pricey alcohol. Again you laugh thinking about your father having to pay the tab, which you and Eddie will be happy to run up.

So far this is the most the two of you had fun, both laughing and enjoying the company that's around you. The table you've been stuck at is also occupied by other family rejects that enjoy the titles they've been given.

Eddie's hand hasn't left your thigh, which you're more than happy about, and every so often he flexes his fingers squeezing the meaty flesh.

You feel good, the boost from the drinks and the feeling of your best friend makes you bloom like a flower in the spring. You watch as he talks to the people at your table and how his hand moves with enthusiasm. You trace the muscles in his neck and watch his adam's apple bob up and down when he speaks. Your chin sits in the palm of your hand as you watch him be himself like he always is.

He's so beautiful, he always has been, and in this moment he gets to be yours. You don't have to think about what anyone else thinks, you don't have to question how the two of you look from another's perception, because you know that your heart bleeds for him and it always will.

Eddie's your home, he's your best friend, and he's your person. You think back to what he said to you this morning and how he called you a blessing but you think he's wrong. Eddie is the true blessing. He's sweet, he's smart, and he's so fucking caring it's disgusting. Behind all the jagged features and dark clothes, he's nothing but a giant teddy bear that wears his heart on his sleeve.

"Birdie." He smiles at you, all goo and mush it makes your heart skip.

You hum in response, still sitting in the same position, looking at him as if he were a painting.

"You wanna dance?" He blushes, embarrassed by the request and you feel like you're back in junior high.

"You, Eddie Munson hate dancing." You say, scrunching your nose cutely.

Laughing loudly, he nods, "Yeah, I know, but I'd dance with you."

That breaks you out of your daze, breath catching in your throat. "O-oh, yeah. I'll um dance."

Again he stands, holding a palm out to you so he can help you up. Leaning you to the dance floor, you can't help but feel jittery despite the wine that you've consumed.

Once out on the floor, he pulls you into his chest. Strong hands grip your waist through the silk fabric of your red dress and you desperately try to fight the need that rises in your guy.

You stand stiff, unsure of what to do with yourself and Eddie's quick to help you, placing your hands around his neck where they lay contently.

He looks good tonight, even better than last night, and you hate how it makes butterflies flap around in your stomach. The black button up shirt sits nicely on his torso, wrapping his arms so deliciously you want to take a bite out of them. The black slacks he wears fit nicely and you wonder if he had them tailored and you have to ignore the want to undo the sleek black belt with a bright golden buckle that holds them up. Again his hair sits in a low bun and that silver chain peeks out at you from underneath his collar.

"I can't believe you asked me to dance to Ed Sheeran." You say breathlessly, still nervous with being this close to him.

Eddie snorts, lopsided smile forming on his lips. "What, a guy can't like Ed Sheeran and metal? That's gatekeeping, sweetheart." He teases.

Rolling your eyes, you try to ignore that tingle that settles in your cheeks. "Whatever you say, Munson."

"I'm serious, Thinking Out Loud was in my top ten last year." The two of you hold eye contact until you can't take it anymore, both bursting into laughter at his admission.

"That's something you shouldn’t repeat." You sputter at him and he laughs even harder.

"Hey, I like this song, okay?" He defends, still swaying back and forth with you.

Raising your hands in defense, you pull back on your clowning for the sake of your friend. Placing your arms back around his neck, you lean your head on his chest and try to hear the beat of his heart.

The scent of him floods your nose, cologne and smoke, whiskey and linen, and you wish you could bottle it to keep forever.

"Why do you like this song anyway? It's kind of basic." You mutter at him.

His shoulders lift in a shrug, and he takes a moment to respond. "Honestly, I like it cause it reminds me of you."

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion and you remove your head to look up at him.

"Wha'do you mean?" You mumble, eyes searching his for some sort of answer.

Looking bashful again, red tints his cheeks and ears in a blush. Sticking his tongue out to wet his lips, he hesitantly answers.

"I always felt like he said everything I couldn't, ya know? Everything I ever wanted to say to you, he put in a song."

It feels like the whole world stops, that time freezes and it's just the two of you. You're in shock and for some reason you can't wrap your head around anything he's saying.

"What?" You say harshly and again he shrugs, shying away from your burning focus on him.

"Reminds me of you and everything I ever felt about you. I always wanted to call you mine but if you hadn't noticed, I'm a chicken shit."

You don't say anything, instead you stare at him with your mouth wide open. Eddie starts to loose his cool, frantically flexing his fingers against the material of your dress, looking around at anything but you.

"Sorry, I - shit, I really fucked this up," He doesn't get to finish his sputtering apology because you quickly smash your lips into his.

His lips taste like brown liquor and chapstick, like love and forever, and you can't believe you waited this long to experience it. Two heart sync as one, two people fall together like the leaves outside, and anxieties are finally laid to rest.

You hate that you pull away first but the need for air is too much. Eddie bends enough so that his forehead leans on yours, both looking into each other eyes living in the moment of your blissed out hearts.

"Tell me if I'm being too forward but do you wanna get out of here?" He flirts and you respond simply by pecking his lips once more.

"Thought you'd never ask."

thank you all for reading!!! love you guys <3

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #honey's birthday bash #honey's holiday celebrations

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atlabeth · 2 months

Text

all of me | luke castellan

pairing: knight!luke castellan x princess!reader

a/n: sooooooo i know that i said i would work on something else but this hit me and suddenly i could not rest until i wrote something for it so you're getting headcanons since i can't formulate proper thoughts. some of this is dialogue but most of this is pure stream of consciousness. im already kind of obsessed w them ?

wc: 3.7k lollll this got away from me but it was so much fun.

warning(s): parental death, fighting, normal royal stuff. fluff, angst, all that good shit

princess!reader and knight!luke

yeah

and they're childhood friends bc they grew up in the castle together

YEAH

luke is the son of a kingsguard and he wants to be just like his mom

his father is out of the picture (booo) and his mom never really talks about him but she’s raised luke the best she can

shoutout to may castellan, she was the first female kingsguard! and definitely the first to personally guard the king

you are the heir to the throne and the only thing you're sure of is that you want luke to be in your life

you basically spent all your time together because he was kinda the only one your parents would approve you hanging out with

most of the crownsguard don't have children and those that do have them live with their spouse outside of the palace, and your parents didn't want you spending time with the children of servants

and luke's mom is your father's closest friend because she's the king's personal knight and so everything’s basically already vetted and they don’t have to worry about you accidentally getting murdered by him

so you and luke basically spend every moment of your free time together!!

even when you’re not free tbh

sometimes you beg your tutor to hold your lessons outside so that you can sneak glimpses at the knights training and luke training alongside them

whenever he sees you, his face always instantly brightens and he will lose focus in whatever tf he’s doing because he’s only thinking about you now

and instead of either of you doing what you’re supposed to do, you just spend the whole time making faces at each other and trying to grab the other’s attention

after his mother tries (and fails) to get him back on track a million times and your tutor realizes that you’re never going to listen to her historical prattles they allow the two of you to talk for “FIVE MINUTES AND NO LONGER MY BOY” and your tutor is all “i ask that you do not delay our lessons any further, your highness”

and tbf you and luke could notttttt care less. you immediately join up and you start teasing him about his form and how he was holding his sword and he just makes fun of you for having to be a princess

“Your form is horrendous, Luke! How do you expect to beat anyone holding a sword like that?”

“At least I’ll be on the battlefield one day. You can bore our enemies to sleep with your recounts of Aureldan history.”

“Oh, I bet I could beat you right now. I’ve got royal blood in my veins.”

“And I’ve got knight’s blood in mine,” he says. “I’ve at least got a sword. That’s more than you have.”

You huff. “Mother says I have to learn propriety before I even think about picking up a weapon.”

“Do you want to hold mine?” he asks immediately, his eyes lighting up as he offers it over. “It’s just wood because Mom doesn’t want me to hurt myself, but that means it’s safe for you.”

you do. obviously.

You’ve got soft hands, untouched by the world, and the sword feels foreign in their grasp as you realize this is in fact the first time you’ve ever held a weapon. You cut it through the air a few times and Luke is grinning wider than ever

“I think the role of a warrior princess suits you,” he says.

“It is nice,” you muse as you turn it over in your hands, already growing used to the feeling of it.

“And you look great with it,” he says. “Powerful.”

“I’d give myself a splinter before I can do anything with it,” you retort as you hand it back to him. “It’s a nice thought, though.”

His eyes light up. “You should train with us sometime. My mom is the best at teaching— she’d teach you everything you need to know!”

You glance back at your tutor, who is very clearly eavesdropping, and you sigh as you look back at Luke. “Maybe in a few months.”

Luke’s mother calls his name and it’s obvious that your time is over. You hug each other and promise to meet up as soon as your responsibilities for the day are over, then go back to your respective duties.

Your tutor takes you inside because she doesn’t want anymore distractions, and you wave at each other like crazy as you’re walking back into the castle.

so yeah. you’re best friends and you have been since you first met as children, and though it is a battle for your betters to keep you on task if you’re near each other, you just light up when you see each other and it actually helps

You’re learning dining etiquette and if you get told that you’re using the wrong spoon again, you’re going to lose your mind.

luke is hurrying through the halls to catch up with his mother and you both catch a glimpse of each other.

your posture straightens, he stops in his tracks, and you both smile at each other. then luke’s mother calls his name again and he’s on his way again.

spoons aren’t that bad, you think

you’re mulling over history books in the library that make you want to fall asleep.

luke just happens to be walking past on the way to his chores, and when he spots you, he yells out your name and waves at you. you wave back, and you both stifle laughs as your tutor shushes you

suddenly, you’re not feeling so down.

Luke is training on his own out in the yard before dinner and he’s about ready to break his sword over his knee because he can not get this damned move right.

he hears your voice across the way and sees you, all dressed up and with your parents about to get into a carriage. you’re on your way to a ball, he remembers you telling him earlier, and he finds himself smiling.

You had been complaining about it, and Luke had told you to just think of the two of you hanging out whenever you were bored. You said you were already planning on it.

His smile widens. He’d be thinking of you too, wondering what it would be like for him to attend with you. Dressed in the same gaudy outfits as the rest of the court, having to go through the same dull niceties that you’d been raised on, listening to stories from other royals he couldn’t care less about.

Standing beside you as an equal.

Luke’s young, but he already doesn’t care for nobles and their court. But he thinks he would wear any amount of uncomfortable suits and listen to any number of dull proposals for you.

for the rest of the night, he trains better than he thinks he ever has.

and of course, you break the rules together. GOD HELP YOUR CHARGES YOU ALWAYS BREAK THE RULES TOGETHER

your tutor cannot count how many times you’ve slipped out of lessons and she’s found you in the halls talking with luke, him smiling brighter than she’s ever seen as he listens to you go on and on and on

your mother cannot count all the times you’ve talked about what you and luke did that day instead of describing to her any of the history or arithmetic you were supposed to be learning

May always keeps watch over her son, but she’s been known to turn a blind eye when Luke thinks he’s being sneaky to go off and see you.

and of course, sometimes you actually hang out when you’re allowed to hang out lol

you’ve run around every bit of the palace grounds together, you ride horses together (with parental supervision of course), and once you’re a bit older, you’re actually allowed to practice with luke and the rest of the knights!

typically, it’s a shorter session with May teaching the two of you, and typically, it ends with both of you ready to die because you’re just kids and even though Luke is a prodigy, you are sooooo bad at swordfighting. it’s honestly not even funny how bad you are at it the first couple of lessons

But May just pats you on the shoulder and promises to work with you until you’re as good as her.

(luke pouts and says he wants to be better than you. you forget that you’re holding a sword and just start complaining at each other)

(“you CAN’T be better than me luke I’m the princess”) (“YES I CAN MY MOM’S THE GREATEST KNIGHT EVER”) (“SHE PROTECTS MY DAD WHICH MEANS I CAN BE THE BEST EVER”) (“THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE”) (“YES IT DOES”) (“NO IT DOESN’T”) (“I’M YOUR PRINCESS YES IT DOES”)

(the lesson ends when May has to pry you two apart)

but we haven’t gotten to the knight part.

because it’s a bit sad.

what happens to may in pjo canon is awful but

May Castellan dies when you and Luke are sixteen. A month after your birthday, in fact. Four months after Luke’s.

(he’s always held those three months over you, especially as you get older.)

(it doesn’t seem to matter as much now.)

rumor has it throughout the kingdom that she slowly went insane and then fully lost it, ultimately dying in an attack against the king during a ball that turned out to be a set-up.

the only one who knows what really happened that night is your father as he was the only other person there at her death that still lives, but he refuses to talk about it, only saying that “Head of the Kingsguard May Castellan died a hero and shall be remembered as such”.

Luke… does not take it well

besides the king, he obviously spent the most time with his mother and it was obvious to anyone that she loved him with all her heart and wanted him to follow whatever dreams he may have had

she’s given a knight’s funeral and you are beside Luke the entire time, holding his hand or him leaning against you as you listen to eulogies or even just sitting next to each other because your presence is enough for him. it doesn’t matter what—you’re always connected in some way, and no one says a single thing.

he needs you, and you need him. it’s as simple as that. and no one dares to correct the princess when she’s icier than they’ve ever seen her.

You put on that front to protect Luke—you don’t want anyone bothering him, and you don’t want him to have to worry about you at a time like this.

Because you know he would. He always does.

When Luke gives his speech, barely able to hold back tears, he looks at you the entire time. he doesn’t tell you, but you’re the only reason he’s able to get through the day.

Luke becomes a ward of the royal family.

There’s no chance you’re letting him leave, and Luke doesn’t want to go either. The memories of his mother all around are painful, but he takes some small comfort that she’ll live on in Aurelda forever.

Your parents have no objection to it—he grew up in the palace anyways, and he can practically provide for himself. You wouldn’t have let them say no.

You’re thankful beyond words that Luke is still here. Because everything feels like a mess, and things are a little more manageable with him by your side.

Someone tried to kill your father. They killed Luke’s mother instead. Both of you are broken in different ways.

Obviously, this sparks the beginnings of war both in Aurelda and in Luke’s entire being.

but that’s a topic for another day.

May’s death changes your relationship.

She was his mother, obviously, but you were close to her as well. you could never forget every time she ruffled your hair and complimented your sword fighting, or every time she would acknowledge you in the midst of a crowd with a smile and a nod, or every time she would act like a mother and not a knight.

she had the best hugs in the entire kingdom.

But her death changes your relationship because Luke changes.

He’s angrier. His edges have all sharpened, honed by his own spirit. He softens when he’s around you, but to the outside eye he’s impenetrable. He thinks you’re the only one that understands him.

Others pity him, fear him, are jealous of him.

You treat him the way you always have. Like your best friend.

That’s all he needs.

And so Luke throws himself into his training, vowing to become the youngest kingsguard in Aureldan history to honor his mother’s memory. He wasn’t able to save his mother, and he needs to become strong enough to protect the ones he loves from anything.

(You don’t know it, but he thinks of you every time he closes his eyes and sees the night his mother died. He’s in the place of his mother and you’re in your father’s position, and Luke knows that he would sacrifice himself for you every single time.)

So you don’t have as much time for each other anymore. Luke is on his kingsguard mission, and you’re starting to come into your own as the Crown Princess of Aurelda.

You can’t sneak out of lessons anymore to go talk with Luke, because you’re starting to learn about the nuances of politics.

Luke can’t let you interrupt his training, because he’s on a warpath and he won’t be stopped before he reaches his goal.

You can’t neglect your responsibilities because they’re more than just etiquette or history lessons. War is going to come to Aurelda sooner or later, and you’ve got to be ready when it does.

You’re only sixteen, but neither of you are children anymore.

But you’re still best friends. Nothing can change that—it’s just changed the way you show it.

You take your morning walks with your mother past the training grounds, and Luke always smiles at you and salutes no matter what. You bow your head in a very refined, princess-y nod, and you continue on.

Luke makes sure he’s always the one that gets to deliver news to you, even going so far as to make deals with other servants and messengers just to make sure he gets to see you at least once a day.

Most of the time, you end up seeing each other at night. Just happening to end up in the kitchens at the same time for a midnight snack that results in hours of talking with each other. Bringing Luke to your balcony to look at the stars together.

Even some midnight training has occurred together, though you always end up a sweaty mess and having to make a bath for yourself because you can’t alert your servants. Luke says he likes you best when you have that vicious glint in your eye while you’re training with him.

Luke still has horrific dreams, and though he weathered them on his own for a while, one night he finds himself outside your door. When you open it, seeing his haunted eyes and disheveled appearance, you let him in immediately.

It’s not the first time you’ve slept in the same bed after nightmares, and you know it won’t be the last.

(You spent the whole week together after his mother’s death. Not even your parents could complain when they saw the change in both of you.)

And Luke does it. He completes his training, having become one of the fiercest and youngest warriors Aurelda has ever seen. Traditionally, knights are older, but an exception was made for Luke—he’s got the Castellan name and a childhood spent with the greatest knights in the kingdom to back him up.

You’re the first person he tells when he finds out, and your scream of pure joy must have echoed throughout the entire castle. You hug him tighter than he’s ever been hugged before, and for just a moment, in your embrace, he feels like you’re both kids again.

Weeks from his eighteenth birthday, your father knights Luke Castellan in an official ceremony.

Not just as a member of the kingsguard, though—he is sworn in as a knight, and as your personal bodyguard.

Your father didn’t tell you beforehand, and you thank a childhood of courtly influence to keep the shock off your face. One hand tightens ever so slightly into a fist, and you let it out just as quickly.

You can’t see Luke’s expression, kneeling and head turned downward. You would pay all the gold in the kingdom to know what he was thinking.

“Sir Luke Castellan.” Your father’s voice booms through the hall, and a shiver even goes down your spine. “Do you swear to serve Aurelda as her loyal knight, through war and peace, through riches and debt?”

“I do,” Luke says.

“Do you swear to protect the Crown Princess of Aurelda—” your father says your entire title, and for the fifth time you wonder how many middle names a princess needs, “—my daughter—with everything you have in you, until your dying breath?”

Your breathing stills for the slightest moment.

Luke doesn’t flinch. “I do.”

The thought of Luke dying for you is unimaginable. It’s something you’d never ask of him—you don’t think you could live in a world without him anyways. You know it’s what knights are expected to do—for king and country, my life for yours—but that’s for any member of the royal family—any member of the court.

Luke is assigned solely to your protection.

And he doesn’t even falter when he bonds his life to yours.

As soon as the ceremony is over and Aurelda has gained three new knights, you’re on your way to Luke. You don’t care if anyone else wants to talk with the princess, you don’t care if your parents need to tell you something—royal propriety be damned, you need to talk to Luke.

He doesn’t look surprised when you march up to him, but there’s already a different air about him.

Maybe it’s because in these past couple of years he’s absolutely shot up in height, maybe it’s because his insane training regimen has toned every part of him, maybe it’s because he’s done what no one else has done before, or maybe it’s just because he actually accomplished his goal.

But when he smiles at you, that crooked slant to his lips that always meant mischief when you were younger, it’s enough to make that train of thought immediately shut down.

“Princess,” he greets. “I think we’re going to be spending a lot more time together, these days.”

“Yeah,” you say, the warpath you’d intended to be on fading away almost immediately with his words (and that goddamned smile that will certainly be the death of you someday.) “Maybe this is our way to make up on all that lost time.”

“...I’d like that,” Luke says.

“Can I hug you?” you ask wryly. “Or is that unbecoming of a brand new knight?”

“I don’t think anyone will tell the princess she is doing something wrong,” Luke says.

So you do. You hug him, and he immediately wraps his arms around you, and you hate that you had any doubt that he would. You’ve always felt safe in his embrace even since you were children, and now that he’s four times as strong and much taller, you feel it more than ever.

He truly does look the part of a perfect knight. You remember the days of wooden sword fights and afternoons by the lake, wondering what your future awaited, but sure you would be together no matter what.

You feel like you’ve aged a century since then.

“I’m proud of you, you know,” you say as you pull away. “You’re incredible. I mean— you always have been, but this… It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. So I’m proud of you.”

Luke brushes his curls out of his face with a gauntleted hand, his smile turning a bit more genuine. “It means the world, princess. You are… one of the main reasons that I even made it up here. So I have you to thank.”

You feel your cheeks heat. “I haven’t done anything.”

“You’ve been you,” he refutes. “You’ve stood by my side through everything, and you’ve always been there when I need you no matter what. You’ve done everything.”

You’re thankful for the sheer sleeves of your gown, because now your entire body feels warm. And maybe that’s why you practically blurt the question out, but it’s been burning in your mind since the moment it happened.

“Did you know?”

He frowns. “Know what?”

“That you would become my personal guard,” you said. “You’ve wanted to be a part of the kingsguard since you were a child, and now…”

“Princess,” Luke says, “I asked your father for the honor.”

That throws you off. “What?”

“Do you think he would entrust your wellbeing to just anyone?” he asks. “It’s part of the reason I’ve been training so hard—I wanted to prove to him that I was worthy of the position.”

“Luke—” you start, but he shakes his head.

“War is coming to Aurelda whether we like it or not,” he says. “All I want is for you to be safe. This way, I can ensure it.”

“You said you would die for me,” you say. “You vowed it.”

“That is generally how knighthood works, yes—”

“Luke,” you interrupt forcefully. “I don’t want you to die for me.”

“The goal is for nobody to die,” he says wryly.

You cross your arms. “You know what I mean.”

“Your safety is my number one concern, princess,” he says. “That’s all you need to know.”

You stare at him. He stares back.

You win, because Luke sighs and shakes his head. “We don’t have to worry about that at the moment. Right now, you have to get back to change before you sit in on an advisor’s meeting with the king and queen.”

You frown. “How do you know?”

“I’m your guard,” Luke says. “It’s my job to know.”

“You were just sworn in!” you protest.

“And I am always prepared,” he remarks. Luke holds his hand out in a gesture towards the door. “After you, princess.”

You shake your head as you start walking. You hear Luke’s footsteps start soon after, much heavier than yours in full armor as opposed to your ceremonial dress. “You are ridiculous.”

“Which is also my job,” Luke muses.

and so luke becomes a knight, but not just any knight.

your knight.

good luck handling that crush on him you've harbored since childhood now.

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan fic #luke castellan fluff #luke castellan headcanon #luke castellan au #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #pjo x reader #x reader #knight!luke #sadie writes

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raitonsfw · 3 months

Note

Hello thank you so much you are the first person to answer my request and I just lovedddddd it .

Another request with gojo where they are married for like 2 months and things are kind of stiff cause it is arranged marriage but then one day he sees that a group are guys ate harassing his wife everyday as she takes the train . He asked her why she did not tell him about it and all and she says cause she thought he might even listen and stuff and things get spicy and it's his wife's first ever relationship.

I know this is big if you don't like it ignore it .

Thank you

𝚠𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚍 | 𝚐𝚘𝚓𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚞

synopsis: Gojo wasn’t the best husband and you weren’t the best wife, the discomfort of the arranged marriage taking a toll on the both of you. Two months in and he hasn’t even held your hand, let alone made a move on you– something you so desperately craved. It wasn’t until he saw two men shove you against the wall on the train that his natural husband instincts kicked in, the men dangling by their collars over the speeding blurry tracks. All he wanted to do now was protect you, shield you from the cruel world with a blindfold of your own, and maybe dry your tears with the comfort of his dick.

warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, fem!reader, virgin!reader, wife!reader, husband!gojo, arranged marriage, clan mentions, cursing (a lot of it oops), angst, yearning, emotions (a lot of emotions), crying, hurt/comfort, insecurity (marriage wise), gojo basically ignores reader for the first two months (not for reasons you think though), quiet arguments, first time, cunnilingus, blowjob, cum swallowing, fingering, p in v intercourse, dirty talk, he’s rough in the beginning cuz he’s selfish, creampie, aftercare, slight mention of future children (just a sentence or two), petnames (sweetheart, honey, baby).

trigger warnings: harassment; reader is cornered constantly by two men on a train. some instances of harassment include yanking the readers arm to get their attention, reader getting burned by a cigarette after trying to fight back, & reader being pushed up against the wall with ill intent.

a/n: imagine him in (this) cuz holy shit, i love this outfit on him. i got extremely carried away IM SO SORRY. haha also gojo says something incredibly corny during sexy time and i was going to change it but it made me laugh too hard just imagining him saying it so i kept it. i don’t think ive ever written this much in one sitting in my entire life. wc: 8k. m.list

divider credit: @benkeibear

Two months.

Two months you’ve endured this situation, your body basically as stiff as a board as you shared a bed with one of the most respected clan members in Tokyo. Ever since you said yes to that question, that damned question you thought you never would’ve heard in this standing– ‘Do you take Gojo Satoru to be your lawfully wedded husband?’ Your whole world fell apart. After all, it was an arranged marriage and you did not know this man in the slightest. All you knew was his power, told to you by your clan specifically and what he had accomplished over the span of twenty-something years.

It wasn’t meant to be like this, the distance that scraped the surface of your marriage. Gojo should’ve warmed up to you by now, as well as vice versa, but there was still a wall built between the two of you.

You didn’t really know the aspects of a relationship either as you’ve never been allowed to date due to the conditions of your clan; that you were to marry someone from the Gojo clan when you turned twenty-one. Unfortunately, you didn’t have many options as Satoru had been the last one standing by the grace of his inherited traits.

Because of your ignorance, you couldn’t quite gauge if this type of distance was a normality within marriage. Were you to just stick by him through thick and thin when he hasn’t even so much as kissed you since your last shared moment at the wedding venue?

Was this really marriage? Or were you just a placeholder for the potential of your clan, an offspring bearing Satoru’s inviolable power?

Sneaking out of the bed carefully, you tiptoed downstairs of the shared loft and sat against the sofa with your knees tucked into your chest. You contemplated turning on the television for some white noise but you didn’t want to wake Gojo up, in fear he might yell although he’s never done that. You deduced that he wasn’t a tyrant, the speculation blending in on days where he’d come home tired but he would still have a gentleness laced within his voice as he whispered a quiet ‘hello, how was your day?’ to you.

Gentle yet not an ounce of intimacy had ever shone through, his body nearly melting into a warm bath everytime he moved past you after formalities. He would barely speak to you for the rest of the evening as he went about his routine. You thought maybe his missions just took up his entire mind, it was his success story after all; his life had been blasted throughout Japan due to his aspects. But then you’d noticed his time away from home with his friends, karaoke bars dredging up on his bank statements.

Which brought you to think maybe he was an alcoholic and he couldn’t you know… get it up.

It was fairly common for alcoholics to become inept in sex, so you couldn’t quite put it past him if that were the case. But then again, you’ve never seen him drunk. It was entirely possible that he could’ve sobered up by the time he arrived home. He never smelled of alcohol though, normally it would seep out of someone’s pores whether or not they had showered the pungent smell down the drain. But as he slipped into bed with the covers huddled against him after a night out, he’d smell of the shampoo you two shared with a fragrance of lilac surrounding the bedsheets.

Your phone slipped from your hand with a loud thud and you flinched, cursing at yourself inwardly as you swiped down to pick it up. You prayed you didn’t wake Gojo up, as he had a long mission in the morning. But it was too late as you heard him rustle his way out of the sheets, a disgruntled yawn escaping him as he put on his slippers. The bedroom was open space within the loft, separated by a thin glass railing that someone could easily lean over which is exactly what he did.

Gojo peered down at you, his tired eyes still filled with sleep. You could still see the radiance of them even from below, the piercing brightness that you swear you’ll never get used to. “Y/N? You’re not in bed.”

“I’m sorry Gojo, I didn’t mean to be so lou-” You started clumsily, fiddling with the stupid phone in your hands but he interrupted you quietly.

“Satoru. Call me Satoru.” He reminded you with that same tenderness from before, that gentleness you couldn’t quite get past and your cheeks flushed red. “It's cold down there, isn’t it? Must be freezing.”

Gojo padded down the stairs and you stood up as he draped a thin blanket onto your shoulders, shielding your body from the icy air that the winter had brought into the house. He headed for the restroom, his slippers shuffling against the hardwood floor and you made a note to buy yourself a pair; the fuzzy socks on your feet didn’t do you justice for the wretchedness of the season. You stared at the caved in reflection of yourself from the windowed wall, the trees dancing in the wind with their roots tucked safely underground.

There was a river on this side of the house as well, the water edging up against the stones that had been laid out carefully to create a small pond for koi fish. A bridge elapsed over it and sometimes you sat against it, your feet dangling as you fed the fish while waiting for Gojo to return home. It was a funny feeling to have so much of his wealth staring back at you all of a sudden.

“You still up?” Gojo asked, a bit puzzled as he stood against the light from the restroom. It veiled out into the living room and you were met with his silhouette crowding the doorway. He had his arm up against the doorframe and his eyebrows raised slightly as he stared at you. His shirt was hanging loosely off his body and some of the light illuminated his waist, the curves that travel down to his–

He shut the light off and you couldn’t see him anymore except for the tufts of white hair sticking out like a sore thumb in the darkness. Moving towards the stairs, you ascended them as he managed to catch up to you. You didn’t notice the way he held out his hand, hovering over the small of your back to ensure you didn't stumble back. And even if you did, he’d be sure to catch you without so much as a thought whether he’d fall down the stairs with you. And if you both did manage to fall, a laugh would probably erupt out of him as you both sat there in bewildered pain.

Crawling into your side of the bed, you felt the cold rush of the sheets lying amidst the tangle of your limbs. You laid down with a quiet sigh, the moon thick amongst the clouds and you stared at it for a while. The other side of the bed creaked underneath his weight and you felt his body brush up against yours as he pulled the shared blanket over himself. You wanted nothing more than his arm to wrap around your waist, to pull you close and flush against him and you pouted when he turned his back to you.

Gojo had fallen asleep the second his head hit the pillow and that meant he wouldn’t bother you for the rest of the night. Though, you kinda wished he did want to bother you.

The morning came with the sunrise shielding your eyes as you awoke, the man next to you long gone and off to work. The first thing on your mind was breakfast, a delightful hope that maybe something could be made in the kitchen. But as you headed downstairs, the cabinets looked bare as well as the fridge with no intentions on filling themselves. A shopping trip apparently was needed today and you sighed heavily as you got yourself ready for the day.

The train wasn’t very full, the morning commute having passed a few hours prior but you still had to stand near the edge of the sliding doors. Everything went to your liking at the grocery store, you had picked out a bunch of fruits, vegetables, and of course a few sweets for Gojo because you noticed the macaroons he had brought home one day, half eaten on his kitchen counter. You had watched him from the comfort of the bed, munching on them while scrolling through his phone, single-handedly eating the rest of the box in one sitting with a happy hum. That’s when you realized his sweet tooth, the bulk of it surviving off of straight sugared pastries.

As you headed towards the station, you had a nagging feeling there were eyes on you. A familiar sense surrounded you and you wondered why it felt like that; you pushed it out of your mind though. It was most likely someone checking out your attire, the adorned outfit clinging to your skin. It had enough detail pointing towards your midriff and your thighs encased in thin stockings, maybe someone had just been attentive today and wanted to ogle at you. It wasn’t like you could stop them.

The train back was much more packed at noon and you had been squeezed into a corner, next to two guys that looked to be middle aged with cigarettes between their fingertips. This was an issue in your eyes, as you realized they were the same guys that had been harassing you before whenever you took the train home. You had ignored it the first few times, the music you had blasting in your ears enough for them to turn their heel but the past few days as you stepped out of the house to do your errands, it became much more demeaning.

The first time it was a subtle nudge with their foot against yours, kicking it lightly to get you to pay attention to them. The next time it an arm grab as you hopped off the train, your feet just barely grazing the ground as you hauled yourself out past the doors. And now, you didn’t know what they would try this time as you failed to bring earbuds with you. It seemed as if the world didn’t care what happened to you when you left Gojo’s hell of a palace, the bypasser’s backs turned against your favor. The skirt you wore came past your midthigh and you clenched your hold on the pole a little tighter, shuffling some of your bags against your forearms wearily.

“Heading to the same place, doll?” One of them piped up, a sleazy smile lazed on his lips. You tried to ignore him, but he certainly noticed your lack of music and he got up from his seat in front of you. You tried to move backwards a bit, but there really wasn’t any space to do so.

“Yeah, we can escort you there this time. Seems to me you got a lot of bags.” The other one said as he also stood in front of you and you looked around the train, factoring in the exits and the fastest way to push through people. You also noted that almost everyone else was minding their own business, fucking assholes with their headphones and haughty misplaced morals.

As you decided whether or not to stand your ground, you noticed a tall figure in the back of the train car making their way forward with unhurried ease. Maybe you could ask them for help, whoever they were. Or maybe they were in cahoots with these men who had been harassing you, readying their attack from afar.

“Can you please leave me alone?” You asked firmly, trying to move away again from where they towered above you. You really weren’t liking your odds this time and a wave of fear rushed over you as one of them yanked some of your bags away, discarding them on the seat behind them.

“C’mon, looks like you need help today–” The first guy started, grabbing the groceries from your other arm and you pulled them back toward you harshly. The second guy had sat back into his seat, aiming to finish his cigarette instead of bothering you. The first guy kept a steady hand on you though, a bruised grip on you and it started to hurt; a dull throb had begun to overtake your arm.

“Please stop.” You pleaded, swinging the bag into him hard as he tried to deliberately yank it away again. Some of the items fell out of the bag and another hand on your arm gripped you harshly, pulling you down towards the man sitting.

“Quit being so stubborn. You’re boyfriend’s not here to help you, huh?” The second guy cooed, holding you in place as the first guy went through the groceries on the floor. He huddled some into his jacket, unaware of his surroundings for a second and you used that to your advantage. Hitching your leg up, you kicked him directly in the abdomen and he doubled over in pain, the groceries falling from his pockets.

“You little bitch–!” The second guy sneered at you as he dug his lit cigarette into your skin and you yelped in pain, dropping all of your bags now onto the floor. You tried to wrench your arm away from the searing burn, but you couldn’t. His grip was too strong on you and you vaguely felt your back slam into the wall behind you, pain filling every crevice of your body. It was such a quick interaction, your thighs trembled underneath you as the man pushed up against you to keep you in place. Pure dread raced through you as you squeezed your eyes shut with a scream readying in your throat until you felt the weight off your chest and loud yells were flooding through your ears, the cigarette falling onto the floor.

More like terrified screams, a rush of wind had opened up in the train and your eyes peeked open cautiously. They first fixed on the wide open doors of the moving train, the lights speeding through the instances of train signs and the accompanied men hanging over the edge by their shirt collars. Then you registered the white haired man who was dangling said men with two strong hands, threatening to throw them out onto the electrified tracks beneath them. Begs and pleads came whirling out of both of the men’s mouths and you were sure one of them had started crying, sobs frantically overtaking him like a pussy.

“Satoru!” You cried out and his head whipped towards you, worry flooding his face as he saw you collapse with shaky footing onto the seat. Reluctantly, he pulled the men back into the train and slammed them against the door as he shut it.

“Don’t fucking touch her again.” Gojo threatened, the edge in his voice not faltering and both of the men nodded scarily quick. “In fact, you don’t need to take this train anymore. Looks like another route opened up on your commute, huh?”

Gojo put his hands in his pockets and gave the men a hard kick to the stomach before moving over towards you. One of the other things you noticed was that he wasn’t in his uniform, his figure filled in a solid black sleeved tee and khakis instead. He crouched in front of you and immediately took off his usual sunglasses, studying your face to make sure you were okay. The whirling blue stared at you with growing panic as you shied away from him, terrified that they were going to see through your every sense. “Let me see.”

Gojo’s hands immediately cupped your face as you froze, checking for any abrasions and then moved downwards to your arms and he stroked over the cigarette mark gently with his fingers. You winced at the pain that blossomed at the peak of the burn and he instantly pulled his hand away, his mind running a million miles a minute as he frowned at the singed area. Suddenly Gojo pulled a smile, a toothy grin that made you utterly confused.

“I have a first aid kit stashed somewhere in our house, so you’ll be fine!” He said reassuringly, a lighthearted tone edging his demeanor. What was with him? Normally he was quiet around you and his bearings kept punctuation in calmness. You’ve never seen this side of him and you faintly wondered if this was how he acted in public. Maybe when he was home, it was a different atmosphere and he was allowed to let his guard down.

Home, our house? His words cut through you like a knife. While he tended to the groceries on the floor and placed them into the bags again, you couldn’t help but tense up even more. It didn’t feel like your home, your shared life–

Gojo’s voice fell a few octaves, the cheery upkeep of his personality disappearing as he became serious. “Was this the first time they harassed you?”

“N-No.” You managed to say, sitting up fully on the train. Your head pounded and you moved to pick up some of the groceries as they rattled against the train’s floor. The sweet you had bought for Gojo sat near his foot and you noticed some of the pastries had been swished as you picked up the package. You let out a quiet noise of discontent, his eyes shot up towards yours with uneasiness and he noticed the sweets in your hand.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell me they were bothering you?” He murmured, carefully taking the sweets from your hand and placing them in the bag as he glanced at the words on the package. Realizing they were for him as you don’t eat those types of pastries often, his heart warmed in his chest. Gojo tried his best to hide the smile that was trying to flourish on his face, it wasn’t the time to get sappy about sweets you bought him. “I could’ve skipped some of my missions, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. A pet name. You didn’t think it was possible for him to utter such fondness, the affection sounding like it danced on a pile of fluffy clouds above your head. It made you lightheaded, or at least you thought it did; certainly not from the hellish confrontation you just had.

“I didn’t think you’d believe me.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I would’ve gladly joined you on your escapades if you told me.” Gojo teased with a gentle tone and you frowned at him. He was still crouched in front of you, his black long sleeve nearly slipping off the sides of his shoulders as he leaned forward to accommodate some space on the train as more people filed in. The ends of his elbows rested on one of your thighs as you crossed your ankles together in between his feet, recollecting yourself fully.

“You barely pay attention to me now, why would you go out of your way to come with me during my errands?” You avoided his eyes this time, not wanting to feel fooled into explaining anything more than that. But when the silence grew heavy after a few seconds, you glanced over to find out why he hadn’t spoken.

His face had fallen flat and his eyes weren’t shining anymore, much to your relief. But as much as it relieved you it also made you incredibly upset, a knot thickening in your throat as you watched the dulled turquoise glass over.

“That’s not…”

“It’s true! You never pay attention to me. You’re either out with friends at a karaoke bar probably drinking away the day or you’re exorcising some curse late in the night. Gojo, I don’t think you–”

“Satoru. I don’t drink by the way.” He corrected you, silent annoyance filling his voice but it fizzled out as he tried his best to remain calm. In truth, he was falling apart on the inside. He never knew, never realized that he had been so distant from you and that you were hurting because of it. He only wanted to give you space the first few months to let you get used to his routine and to help you find your own. As Gojo thought of that reason, it seemed incredibly selfish of him and his chest tightened up with regret.

Pushing the feeling down, he laughed mildly with a hint of sorrow. “My mission was called off. I was on my way home, no curses to exorcise today.”

“Satoru…” Repeating his name, you said it with so much sadness that his heart almost broke in two. “Even when you come home early, you spend the rest of the evening without me. And your bank statements–”

“From me buying the rounds for everyone, that’s not the issue right now.” He confessed truthfully; he would buy the whole bar for his friends who have seen hell and back with him, but he didn’t dare to drink a drop as it disoriented him too much. “I don’t have anything to do this evening so we can spend it together, sweeth–”

The next words you spoke were barely above a whisper as you gritted your teeth to stop yourself from outright sobbing them. “You haven’t so much as kissed me since the wedding. Why would you want to spend time with me?”

Tears welled up in your eyes and he quickly wiped them away with the tips of his thumbs, the long awaited gesture making sobs wrack your body; of course he was drying the tears that he made you cry. “I don’t think we should’ve gotten married.”

The train had halted, a loud announcement blaring that it was the end of the line. It was your stop, the doors opening up with the wind blowing through the train again and you tried to stand before Gojo softly blocked your way. You couldn’t look at him. “Y/N, you don’t mean that–”

“I just want to go home. I’m miserable, -toru.”

“Of course, let’s go.” Gojo stood up with his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses once more, hauling the grocery bags onto his forearms and offering a hand out to you. “I’ll make dinner tonight.”

That’s not what you meant.

When you got to the house, stagnant air filled the house with tension filling in the empty corners. Gojo had become near silent, putting away the groceries with his lips pressed in a thin line and you thought you made him mad.

In reality, he was on the verge of tears because he didn’t know how to make anything up to you. It was entirely his fault, the distance that forced you two apart. He was too focused on his missions to give a damn about how you felt, your feelings were rendered useless in his eyes. He was so used to arranged marriages in his clan that he never expected you to be so fragile, the frailness of a new life seeming to shock you.

And so he gave you space. He thought it was something you wanted– something you needed after being forced to live with a big shot jujutsu sorcerer from Tokyo. He knew his life was drastically different from yours, you had stability from living peacefully with your clan. You were promised fortune and happiness and future children you could call your own, something you must’ve dreamed of. Gojo had nothing, his missions keeping him afloat as he danced in the midst of the curses who tried to test him; not to mention the wickedness of other clans threatening to clash with him.

All he really wanted was someone close enough to him that he could let his guard down without a second thought; his technique fading away and being replaced by your hands on him, tearing away at the fabric that made him whole. He’s never felt like this before, the constant emotions flaring up his every sense and he nearly wiped out when he first saw you on the sidewalk, carrying the precious groceries to the train station. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, the readying sensation of wanting to be the one who carried your bags and alleviate your stress, he’d likely let you step all over him like a doormat if it meant he could get close to you.

But he just couldn’t.

“I’m going to see my clan leader tomorrow.” You expressed, seating yourself at the island in the kitchen. You had just showered, the muck of the men’s hand from earlier flooding down the drain and you sighed in relief as you felt more like yourself again. Gojo had swapped his sunglasses for his blindfold, his hair sticking straight up in light of the band wedging his bangs off of his forehead. He was still in the same attire though, the dusked sleeves rolled up messily against his arms as he meticulously cut vegetables for dinner. When he registered your words, the knife in his hand faltered.

“Would they even let you come back?” Gojo sulked, mixing the sliced veggies with the accompanying sauce that sat on the stove. “Clans are very unforgiving, you know. I don’t think you’d survive if you went home.”

“I don’t know.” You really didn’t, all they taught you was to be praising of the Gojo clan member you marry; your whole life had been to practically worship him on your hands and knees. Not that you’ve done that– the hands and knees part would’ve been nice though in practice.

“We don’t have to talk about this now.” Gojo turned towards you, leaning over the island with a spoon in his hand. “Here, taste this for me.”

A blend of spices hit your tongue as you savored the sauce from the dip of the spoon, looking up at him as you did so. You could feel the cursed energy flowing from him and it made you waver slightly as you made to say that he was a good cook. As he moved back into front of the stove, you swore you saw a small blush creep up his cheeks.

A bit of silence followed and you decided to help out with dinner, picking out some other ingredients for him to use. As you opened the refrigerator to scour the shelves, Gojo cleared his throat as he peeled the outside of an onion. “What do you expect from a husband?”

Your head peeked over the fridge towards him in utter shock. You thought you weren’t going to talk about pointless intentions, your mind having been set on leaving. “What?”

“Huh, I gotta repeat myself?”

“No, I heard you. Let me think for a second.”

The first thing that popped into your mind was intimacy. A husband should provide a sense of intimacy that no one but him should give you; the very essence of a human relationship. This didn’t have to include sexual relations, but in your case you wanted it to. It would be nice if he held your hand during outings and offered sentimental gestures like flowers and a hushed compliment every now and then. But the feeling you really craved was his hands against your thighs, digging into your flesh as his mouth hovered over every place it could reach with a pointed tongue and his eyes boring up towards yours, a smirk prominent on his lips as you quivered under his touch.

Dejection sat heavy in your heart just then, reminding you that he hasn’t done any of those things.

The fridge wafted over you with a cold atmosphere and you pushed the thought out of your head, shutting the door mindlessly. You watched Gojo add the rest of the ingredients to the pan and he washed the cutting board he used with a hum, presumably giving you time to think over your answer.

But you lost your train of thought and after a minute of just standing there with a blank face, he spoke up in an amused tone. “You gonna answer me, sweetheart?”

“Do you not want to have sex with me?”

“Where did that come from?” A quiet chuckle escaped him as he dried his hands of excess water, leaning against the island with his hip. He tossed the towel down on the counter, crossing his arms with a coy smile. “I should be asking you that question.”

“I thought you didn’t care or something was wrong with me. That you didn’t want me, that I was just some offer that my clan made you-” You started, emotions flowing through your system as tears threatened to spill again. Your voice broke off in the midst of the sentence and you gasped for air as you tried not to cry. You didn’t realize how broken you felt until now as it trudged up towards the surface and you vaguely registered Gojo moving towards you, his smirk disappearing with a quiet coo.

His arms instantly wrapped around you, pulling you into a tight hug and you froze when you heard his heartbeat against your ear. “Y/N, I wanted you from the moment I saw you walking down the aisle.”

“Satoru…” You whispered into his chest and he shushed you, his strong arms hauling you onto the island and you sat eye level with him and he bended slightly down in front of you. You had the genius idea to remove his blindfold with lithe fingers, hooking them and pulling upwards to reveal the vividness hiding underneath. His hair fell against his eyes and he smiled at you warmly as he blinked his eyes a bit, getting used to the extra exposure of light.

Your head was swimming at his confession, the memory of walking down in your white dress crossing your mind fondly. And him in his pristine black suit with a pearly blue tie, sticking out like a sore thumb mind you, his eyes had draped against you as your clan leader gave you away. You never recognized his awe of you as you were shaking like a leaf when you first saw his demeanor; the intense refined energy whirling off of him nearly made you trip down the aisle.

“Please, just let me make it up to you.” Gojo whispered as you folded his blindfold into his pocket, leaning into your space with his arms braced on either side of you on the counter. “Before you leave me, let me give you one good night. Though, that’s a severe understatement if you know what I mean.”

Before you could answer him, his lips had found yours with lenience hanging by a thread. Immediately resting your hands against the back of his neck, you enclosed them and pulled him closer to you with a feeling yearning so deeply inside you. It made your entire body shudder with want, his words running circles in your mind as you let his tongue slip in with growing fervor. Gojo’s hands found your waist, holding you steady as you edged yourself away from him.

“-toru, -toru, wait.” You pulled back and he made a short noise of discontent, instead latching his lips against your neck. “D-Dinner?”

“Oh, right.” He muttered into your skin with a displeased groan. In one fluid motion, he turned off the stove and carried you by the grace of one arm. “That’s not what I want right now.”

As he walked the both of you up the stairs to the loft, you clung onto him like a lifeline and even as he laid you down against the bed, your hands never left a part of his body. You needed to be close to him, needed this one chance for him to change your mind; in truth you didn’t want to leave him. But it made him move like clockwork, huh?

Who knew all you had to do was cry?

Gojo hovered above you and God, you didn’t realize how massive his frame was against yours until he was on top of you. His broad shoulders basically caged you in, keeping you safe underneath him as his tongue found your collarbone and lapped at it slowly. Your hands flew to his hair with a quiet moan, tangling in the fluffy snow of it and he hummed delightfully at your response. His hands played with the seams at the bottom of your shirt and his eyes darted to yours, asking for permission.

Offering a quick ‘yes’, you felt your shirt lift up carefully and his hands instantly roamed underneath, focusing on the way you had no bra on. How wonderful it was that you were comfortable in that sense with him, his fingers tweaking your nipple lightly as he studied you for a reaction. A peaked whimper left your mouth and your eyes slipped shut, your back arching slightly into his touch. Gojo felt the heavy ache of his cock, pressing harshly against the front of his trousers and he honestly didn’t think he could get this hard. But you were just so pliant, every single touch enacts a spark from you and he wished he made his move sooner.

He could’ve been buried in you every waking moment you were with him for the past two months and he wished he could go back in time and beat himself up for being such a fucking idiot.

“-toru…” You moaned out as his mouth latched onto your nipple now after he fully pulled your shirt off, his teeth grazing the bud and he had to press his palm against his cock to calm down as you whimpered out little pleas. Pleas that were music to his ears, your hands pulling his down towards your precious cunt and all he wanted to do was sink in.

But he had to stop himself from just going in blind with you; it was your first time after all. Gojo didn’t want to scare you away because of his sheer desperation, it was his own fault that he made you wait so long. It wasn’t about him, he needed to make sure you saw stars tonight.

“Fuck, want to hear those pretty whimpers for the rest of my life.” He breathed out as his fingers traced your clothed cunt, teasing it with a hard stroke upwards towards your clit. Gojo hooked his fingers underneath the waistband of your shorts and again with a questioning look pleaded for an answer. You rewarded him with a quick nod and he pulled them out with ease, his jaw dropping a bit as he noticed how wet you were already. It practically seeped out of you and he held back a groan as he swiped a finger through it.

“God, didn’t think a pussy could get this wet.” He uttered under his breath, sucking his finger into his mouth to clean it off. “And I’ve seen my fair share.”

“Satoru.” You frowned at him, sitting up on your elbows. “Did you have to add that last part?”

“Sorry, baby. Your pussy’s the prettiest, I promise.” He reassured with a smirk, bending down to face your cunt.

He teased his tongue against your clit experimentally and groaned into you as you reacted exactly how he expected you to, your hands clutching at his hair again. He ran his arms underneath your thighs, rubbing softly at your hips as he pulled you more onto him. Gojo licked a fat stripe up your entire cunt this time, lapping at the arousal that flooded out of you with satisfaction. You moaned out, your head tipping back and your hips rolled against his face subconsciously as he fucked his tongue into you feverishly. His nose pressed against your clit, rubbing it subtly as he pointed his tongue into you and you could already feel your orgasm rushing up your spine.

“-toru, hold on…. Fuck, too fast, wait!” You whined out, trying to push him away so you didn’t cum all over his face but his grip on you became tight and his fingers dug into the tops of your thighs, his forearms cradling the backs of them. His eyes met yours as he noticed you quiver, the blinding blue heavy with lust and nothing could’ve stopped you then. You came all over his face with a tremble, the tightness in your tummy unraveling like a ribbon and Gojo moaned into your cunt as your thighs squeezed against him.

“Should’ve mentioned my tongue’s won an award.” He stupidly quipped afterwards and you burst out laughing once you caught your breath, the mood having lightened much more to your benefit. You could learn to love his idiot, if this is how everyday was supposed to be. You noticed the glisten that shielded his lower face and he grinned at you, his cheeks flushed hot.

“What, for talking shit?” You teased as he wiped his mouth with the inside of his shirt before pulling it off, his abs suddenly on display and you almost choked.

“Hey now, I don’t talk shit. Unless it’s about Utahime.” Gojo retorted with a chuckle, moving to unzip his trousers.

You stopped him and he looked at you confused but when your fingers ran against the outline of his cock, his eyes widened. He was fucking huge though you had nothing to compare it to and honestly you didn’t need to to know that he was gonna stretch you open with one shallow thrust. You unzipped his trousers, his clothed cock much more prominent in front of you now and you palmed him lightly, silently gauging his reaction. A quiet groan escaped him and his eyes fluttered shut as you pulled him out of his boxers. And holy fuck, he’s supposed to fuck you with this?

How was it going to fit? Gojo was so goddamn lengthy and wrapped your hand around him carefully, testing the waters as one of his hands rested against your shoulder. “Y-Y/N…”

“Yeah?” You breathed, running your hand up his shaft towards the tip, the crown of it and he shuddered– he fucking shuddered from your touch and he inhaled sharply, his mouth falling open.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Tonight’s supposed to be about you.” Gojo bit back a moan as you started to pump him through his words, tracing some of his veins with the extent of your eyes.

“I want to, trust me.”

Before you really knew what you were doing, you took him into your mouth and Gojo’s hands flew to the top of your head quickly, a breathy moan emitting from him. “Holy shit, Y/N, holy fucking shit.”

You enveloped his cock in your warmth and he tangled his fingers into your hair shakily, the sensation sending warning signals flying to his brain as he tried his best not to just buck into your mouth. You sucked him down like a champ, and who the fuck taught you to do that, he thought vaguely with breathy moans falling from his mouth. He couldn’t help it, your mouth felt so good around him and it’s been forever since someone’s tended to him like this.

“Oh God, you have such a dirty mouth, huh baby? Who taught you how to– fuck, suck me off like that?” He moaned out, a smirk plastered on his face as he looked down at you and you scowled at him in return. You swallowed around him, listening to his whimpers and you noticed that his thighs had started to shake lightly.

Fuck, you were going to make him come just from this. “Shit, keep going baby…please, sweetheart.”

You felt his cock twitch in your mouth, lying heavily against your tongue and you lapped at it with a hefty moan. You hollowed your cheeks and took him as deep as he could possibly go and you felt his hips start to move languidly, fucking himself deeper into your mouth. You gagged around him, feeling the wet slick of your saliva on his cock drag against your lips and his grip tightened in your hair. Gojo set a relentless pace for you, rutting in with vigor and you felt him tremble above you with a rushed groan following, his hips stilling.

You did not expect such a bitter taste, his cum flooding into your mouth in viscous ropes and you pulled off of him with a gasp. Some of it splattered on your face and you swallowed the load in your mouth a bit shocked. Your cunt suddenly ached with want, his whimpers and how his face contorted in pleasure replaying over and over and- “-toru…”

“Mm, ‘M sorry honey.” Gojo breathed out, his chest rising and falling and he swiped his finger through the splatter of cum across your cheek, reveling at how tainted you looked. Thank God he was the one to corrupt you, if it was anyone else he wouldn’t have been able to handle it he thought. The way you looked below him, your tongue flush on his cock; he’d probably kill everyone if he couldn’t see that again.

And that’s right, you were his wife. His precious wife that he took for granted.

“-toru, please. I need you, your fingers-” Your pleas brought him back to his senses, the numb feeling of the past two months falling away as he helped you lay back on the bed. You looked absolutely wrecked, your lips red and as you pleaded, it came out in rasps.

“Shh, it’s okay. Hold on, I got you.” Gojo had taken to your left side, making sure he had a good view of his fingers slipping inside you. As he pushed two inside, you keened at the feeling and your hips moved against them. He curled them upwards, grazing against your sweet spot lightly and you arched your back, your head falling against the feathery pillows with a wanton moan.

“Want my cock instead? Much better than my fingers, baby.” He cooed, his other hand wrapped around his cock and pumping it to full length again. It wasn’t all that difficult to get hard again when you were splayed out in front of him like this, begging for him to do anything and everything. Before you even nodded, he was pulling off the rest of his clothing and hovering over you once more, pulling his fingers out of you with a dismissed moan coming from you.

As he positioned himself against your entrance, his eyes captured yours for the first time in a while and you felt your cheeks blush hot with embarrassment. You couldn’t believe you were begging for this man, but then again you couldn’t believe you weren’t begging for him before.

“Might hurt a bit, but you’ll be fine.” He warned as he prodded his tip into you slightly and you shuddered, holding onto his shoulder blades for support. He sunk further into you and about halfway in, a dull pain started to ache within you as he stretched you. You whimpered out and Gojo immediately stopped moving, slight concern spreading over his face. “Are you okay?”

“Shit, Satoru, you’re still not all the way in?” You whined and he merely chuckled, bottoming out with a shallow thrust that nearly brought you to tears. Gojo let out a breathy groan, his head lolling into the side of your neck and he kissed at your skin tenderly.

“I am now.” He sucked a bruise into the crevice of your neck as he waited for you to adjust, his cock twitching impatiently inside you. He could feel you squeezing him, clenching around him to get used to the feeling and every single time you did, it sent straight pleasure coursing through his veins. “Fuck, tell me when I can move…”

“You can move…” You managed to get out, your fingers running up his back with a delicate scratch.

“Thank fuck–” Gojo groaned out loudly, pulling all the way out of you and thrusting in with one fluid motion. You cried out at the sudden movement, you didn’t think he’d be so headstrong to fuck into you harshly without so much as a quick warning. “You were driving me insane…so fucking warm and tight for me.”

Gojo worked you open with his cock and you couldn’t help the sounds that came out of you, quiet whimpers and pleas of his name, ‘satoru, slow down a bit for me’, and he did reluctantly but not before giving a few harsh thrusts into your cunt. You wrapped your legs around him, taking him in deeper and he groaned in your ear with a shudder as he gripped onto your thighs.

“Stay just like that.” He whined in a merciful tone, his face now adjacent to yours and he gave you a spirited kiss, licking into your mouth with every damned thrust into your poor cunt. You both moaned into the kiss and he suddenly broke away to hoist your legs over his shoulders instead. “Actually… fuck, this so much better.”

Gojo was able to aim dead against your sweet spot that lingered in the corners of your nerves and you arched as he did so, each perfect thrust relentlessly hitting it and your vision clouded with unbridled pleasure. He looked so godlike above you, sweat glistening against his chest and his white hair had begun to look quite damp with the same moisture, falling beautifully over his eyes; those were on another level and you had to look away so you didn’t cum too quickly.

“All for me? Say it’s all for me.” He had started to beg, ecstasy coursing through both of you now and all you cared about was your releases, the euphoric pressure climbing up your spines with every strike of his hips against yours.

“All for you, -toru...” You babbled out as Gojo started rutting into you harshly, a quick rhythm picking up and your fingers welded into the sheets to keep yourself from hitting your head against the headboard. Your orgasm came crashing through you and you clenched around him as he buried into you with desperation.

“Fuck yeah, all for me.” His mouth dropped open with a low drawn out groan and his eyes squeezed shut as he came in you, his eyebrows furrowing as his orgasm cascaded through him. He shallowly pumped into you, mixing the cum with your arousal and you whimpered at the feeling as you came down from your high. He pulled out with a quiet sigh, gently bringing himself down to kiss you promptly and laying on top of you with his head on your chest.

A couple minutes later, you felt his fingers trace over your burn mark that had scarred over on your arm. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

You looked down at him, his eyes fixated on the mark and you tousled his hair a bit as you smiled at him. Exhaustion had begun to take over your senses and you yawned as you spoke. “It’s okay, I’m just happy that you were on the same train.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Gojo was quiet, his eminence surrounding you in a veil. “Please don’t leave.”

“I wasn’t going to in the first place. You had already changed my mind when you said something about me not surviving in the clan.”

He was quiet for a minute, registering what you just said. Then, you heard a cheeky laugh erupt from him.

“So, my dick wasn’t what changed your mind, huh. Guess we have to start over, don’t we?” He said with a smirk holding in his voice and everything he had just felt, the sorrow and the panic disappeared as he started to kiss down your chest. He pinned your wrists down as he hauled himself back into a good position, face to face with you. Maybe you could get used to the piercing brightness of his eyes, the turquoise loving and cordial and everything in between staring back at you in the way you’ve always wanted.

“Gojo Satoru, you’ve got quite a big ego don't you?”

“Perks of being the one and only.” He pressed a light kiss on your lips, his hands brushing over your body. “Well, maybe not for long.”

a/n: wanna get tagged in future writing posts? join my taglist!

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mitsvriii · 4 months

Text

"Nothing's New"

In which your partner is never going to pay attention to you, because they’re too focused on their dead lover

Bell’s notes: “writer bell goes too far with this fic-” im /j no ones gonna say that, angst powers pls work tho, like im asdlkfjawel;fjsd;jf;lska, i cant write dude, let me like, plan this out in my head before writing nonsense, LIKE BRO, feral over angst LORD, 100k likes and you get part 2 /jjjj, growling i love angst, MWHAHAHA, sorry ely, yuka, mhie, snob, and zee if you read this 😔😔😔, i listened to “IT Girl” while writing this 😋, got carried away with Ayato’s part oopsies, i believe Guizhong for the ladies but whatever 😔😔😔, cut out Wanderer & Childe in the end because i’m TIRED, not proofread

Story details: Ayato lowkey a bitch, scratch that highkey, reader has self-doubt, Neuvilette doesn’t mean to be mean he just ISSS, GUIZHONG DID NOTHING STOP MAKING HER THE ONE IN BLAME IN THESE ZHONGLI SCENARIOS, oh and I couldn’t be bothered with Xiao’s part like a quarter through he’s such a flexible yet straight character, it’s the way you can tell when I got lazy with each part, chance Xiao & Zhongli are gonna be ooc as i’ve never written anything but short headcanons for them before

Characters & Triggers: Ayato, Neuvilette, Xiao, & Zhongli; reader has self-doubt, mention of death, mention of martial neglect

Reader details: female reader in Ayato’s part is explicit. female reader in Neuvilette’s part can be interpreted with the way you read it. the other parts, however, shouldn’t have a specified reader type. reader’s personality, race/ethnicity, height, physical descriptions, or anything of the sort is not mentioned. if anything is let me know and i’ll edit it.

Ayato: No surprise the Yashiro Commissioner doesn’t pay attention to his new wife, the one that he didn’t marry first. You knew that he didn’t love you, and most likely never would because you were, in fact, the second pick. Actually, it was probably in the hundreds based on the amount of marriage arrangement offers Ayato had gotten considering he was one of the biggest figures in Inazuma. It didn’t matter, but he most likely picked you because your clan was a small one to put it lightly, so he most likely chose it, and you, because it wouldn’t be a hassle with the press. But of course, he would choose the person and clan that seemed, “easy”. It hurt seeing some of the people’s sympathetic stares, such as Ayaka’s, Thoma’s, and a few of the older women working in the estate. You got used to the lack of greeting from Ayato when he got off work, the lack of warmth beside you at night. You found it hilarious, although you were hysteric at the time as you had just found out that Ayato was off that day and neglected to see you, that he never, ever laid down in the same bed as you. It doesn’t matter no matter how hard you work around the estate, how long you sit up doing his work, which you soon quit once he yelled at you like a homeless dog, or even the distinct flower you made out of one of Ayato’s favorite sweets that he ignored. Not even a glance at your general direction, either. After a while, you decided to do some digging on his past wife, only to find out that she was in fact near perfect. Perfect reputation, perfect everything, to put it shortly. Shortly after asking Ayaka what happened to her, by pulling the sad, guilty wife card, you found out she was a victim of an assassination attempt that turned into a success. Of course, Ayato and his perfect wife would only be torn apart by death. It was poetic, and it made you sick. So what were you to do but endure the slow torture that you and Ayato’s marriage was? After all, nothing you could do could change how he felt about you.

Neuvillette: The famous hydro dragon, at least to those who knew his ‘secret’. His past lover, unfortunately, died before him, no doubt to his immortality. Of course, you would soon die, maybe in a few decades but, hey, it wasn’t like he would miss you. You could only wait awake at night as Neuvillette went to fix himself his own meal, despite you staying up to cook him one and await for his return from work. It’s not that was the only time he never paid attention to you, after all the man had most likely been grieving his wife for centuries at this point in time. So what were you to do besides stay and watch this man be emotionally constipated around you? Why did he even marry you in the first place, then? It couldn’t be because his past wife resembled you, and it certainly wasn’t because you both acted the same. Was it because he needed someone to cling to? I mean, you weren’t exactly someone who seemed to not fit the criteria of a compassionate co-worker who would comfort Neuvillette in his times of distress. Did Neuvilette only come to you because you were his way of grieving? It would make partial sense, to cling to the nearest piece of comfort to help with the pain of loss. It made you feel like nothing but an object meant for his emotional wants, but in reality, that’s all you ever are and will ever be to him.

Xiao: The famous adeptus long ago, had someone close to him. Shame they fell to waste during the archon wars, along with the other adepti. It was no surprise that everyone familiar with Liyue stories knew about the two of them together, which unfortunately included you. It didn’t pain you that much until your oh-so-loveable boyfriend got distracted by two kids playing with a Xiao lantern and one of her. After that, it only devolved into more. The lack of visits to your room in the inn, the lack of responses whenever you left your little notes for him near your meet-up place, and the extreme lack of thank-you-notes whenever you left Xiao almond tofu. It didn’t matter that you started to skip and completely ignore doing all of these things just to see if he would notice because the adeptus failed to appear in your room just to check in to see if you were okay. This behavior was unlike him, at least in the sense of him completely ignoring you. The only answer you could think of, that logically made sense, of course, was that he was reminded of his past loved one because of the run-in with the lanterns you two had while out in Liyue. So in terms, he seemed to disconnect with you because of the memories of his past significant other? You knew the adepti didn’t die peacefully, you could tell that much from the stories, so it wouldn’t be surprising if that also applied to Xiao’s past lover. There was nothing you could do about it though, because if you knew Xiao, he wouldn’t talk about her to you nor push her aside for you.

Zhongli: Guizhong. Of course, you were familiar with the name, everyone in Liyue was. Everyone might be a stretch considering the visitors and children, but the point’s been made. Morax and Guizhong were close. Close in a sense of possibly having relationship affairs but that was only explicit to you because of the way your lover would glace at glaze lilies. You couldn’t call him your lover, could you? Not with the way he would hum to the glaze lilies, the way his eyes would also drift away from you whenever you talked as you took strolls through Guilu Plains, and the way he would opt to tell stories of specific tales of his time as Morax, ones that included Guizhong in some way. It got to the point where you had to make up tasks that you had to do daily just to get away from the walks you two took, not to hear the different-yet-similar stories of Morax and totally not Guizhong. It was childish of you to be doing so, you had yourself convinced, as you couldn’t blame Guizhong for any of it. She had no part of this besides well, besides being your number one stressor for the past few weeks. It was tiring yet somehow for the sake of not wanting a glare or side-eye from Zhongli about his stories, which you never thought you’d get that tired of hearing, you kept your mouth shut, despite how hard it was. You knew it would only take so much more, though, before you said something about it.

#astronetwrk #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗#genshin impact #genshin x reader #xiao x you #xiao x reader #neuvilette x reader #neuvilette x you #zhongli x you #zhongli x reader #ayato x you #ayato x reader #genshin angst #genshin headcannons

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heartpascal · 1 year

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something is rotten

▹ — joel miller x niece!reader

▹ — summary: part two of to an empty house — arriving in jackson brings painful feelings, and even worse conversations.

▹ — a/n: UGH!! guys im not all that happy with this one!! ive changed it a couple times too D: but i have left yall hanging long enough!! lemme know if you want anymore about these guys :’) && ty guys sm for all the support ILY!!

▹ — warnings: slight spoilers for episode 6 ‘kin’, swearing, ANGST!!!, a bit of comfort, father figure joel, reader has daddy issues, and abandonment issues, and is generally not struggling in life PLS

▹ — tags: @canpillowscry @randomstory56 @angsty-twihardxx @frogtits1 @exiledangel @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @vee-vee-writes @rhyanna6012 @snixx2088 @mona-aiko @mymommmy (those of you tagged in italics asked for part 2 in the comments of the first part! drop me a message if you want your tag removed!!)

masterlist

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Life in the apocalypse had been non-stop since you had left that hydroelectric power plant, left behind Tommy, and for a while, all thoughts of him. There hadn’t been time to worry about that sort of thing, between almost losing Joel, and then almost losing Ellie, and then finally reaching the hospital that had been your end goal.

In some ways, you were glad. It kept your mind racing, the feeling of constantly being on edge allowing your brain to stay away from silly things, such as your father.

But now, with that whole chapter finally being over, Joel and Ellie were ready to settle down, to live in a home, rather than travelling miles upon miles, never feeling safe. The three of you had been through a lot, and since the… incident with Ellie, her joke book had remained closed.

You knew that Joel had noticed the change in her, just the same as you had. What she had thought to be her purpose, the justification for everybody who had been lost on your journey, their sacrifice, had been for nothing. It was tearing her apart, and it hurt you to watch it happen.

There was no question about your next destination, though you tried to ignore the reality of it for as long as you possibly could, you were fully aware that Jackson was what Ellie needed. Hell, you’d even go as far as to say it was what Joel needed, too. But deep down, you knew that going there was going to tear you to pieces, despite the way you liked to put on a strong front, following in Joel’s footsteps even in that sense.

You didn’t share your concerns, content to continue the journey in silence, pretending not to notice the way Joel and Ellie looked at you the closer you got to the town.

“Hey, you okay?” Ellie murmured to you, the final stop of your journey feeling like something similar to that of impending doom. She nudged your arm with her elbow, smiling in a way that didn’t quite reach her eyes like it used to.

“Mighty fine.” You responded, her dim smile reflected in your own, and you let it fall the moment she nodded at you, despite clearly being unconvinced by your words.

You fell into step beside her and Joel, and felt his hand grasp on to your shoulder as you caught glimpse of Jackson in the not far enough distance. He squeezed your shoulder the slightest bit, and gave you the biggest reassuring smile he could muster, though it didn’t soothe your worries like it used to.

Maybe it was everything the three of you had been through over your journey, or maybe it was the impending arrival at Jackson, but you were starting to notice the world had become much dimmer than you remembered it to be. Joel’s grip less reassuring, Ellie’s smile less genuine, that faint hope in your gut long gone. With a frown, the thought came to you that this was what it meant to grow up.

The lines on Ellie’s face said the same thing, the sigh that had left her chest, made up of pure exhaustion, just told you that her naive nature had vanished. Jokes no longer received the same laughter, and the world no longer held beauty. Growing up felt like hopelessness settling, nuzzling its way in and making itself at home in that space around your heart. The grip it had made it feel like perhaps, it wouldn’t be all too bad if that heartbeat slowed, but you pushed that thought aside for another time.

For now, you’d have to focus on the problem at hand; arriving in Jackson.

It was warmer now than it had been when you’d left the power plant, and it showed in the way that the green lands had brightened, the sun settling and warming the back of your neck. The heat meant less layers, and the three of you had removed your jackets long before arriving in the town.

The lookouts had spotted you all before you’d been anywhere near the gate, so it was no surprise that Tommy was there to greet the three of you when the gates were finally pulled open, allowing you a peek into the home he valued so much.

Walking in, you had already begun your self-appointed mission of ignoring every word Tommy Miller said, but felt yourself almost blown away by the sights around you. For a moment, just a split second, it was nice.

That thought went out the window a second later, catching a glimpse of your so-called father, and you couldn’t help but recall the way you’d sat for endless nights, waiting for that very man, and imagined yourself living a life with him in a town just like this one.

You felt sick.

That little kid deserved better, you decided. You were worthy of living this kind of life, of getting to sleep in a warm house, of not having to worry about if Joel and Tess would get enough ration cards to feed the three of you, of getting horse riding lessons! The facts of the situation stared you in the face, getting clearer the longer you looked around. Your own father denied you of this life.

With building anger, the feeling white-hot, burning, you turned to Joel where he was speaking with his brother. “Where are we staying?”

Tommy looked between you and Joel, swallowing when Joel just raised a brow at him, and spoke, “Uh, little place just a couple blocks over. 38, I think. Rancher Street, I’ll take you guys over—”

“I’ll make my own way.” You snapped, before he could even finish his sentence. If you had to look at him for even a second longer, you were sure that the overflowing anger and resentment would explode, and you weren’t convinced anyone would be able to pick up the pieces that would be left behind.

You stormed down the street before he could say another word to you, turning down the first alley you saw and standing still in the street on the other side, letting out a harsh breath.

You couldn’t be sure how long you’d stood there for, trying to turn down the simmering emotions inside of you, but it was clearly long enough for somebody to notice. “You good there?” A young girl asked, and you turned to her, brows furrowed.

“‘M fine.” You responded gruffly, and even you could hear the way your speech reflected Joel’s own. The thought calmed you, almost, reminding you of who your real dad was.

She stepped closer, clearly not taking a hint, “You sure? New in town? You look lost.”

“Yes, yes, and I’m not lost.” You said to her, though you didn’t exactly know where you were. She just raised her eyebrows at you, and you huffed, “Lookin’ for a Rancher Street.”

The girl nodded, something between a smirk and a smile on her face, and pointed forward, “First left twice, then a right. Should get you there just fine.”

“Thanks.” You said, immediately heading off in the direction she’d guided you in. You kept your head down, brows furrowed, and tried to keep your attention away from the world around you. It was clear that it’d just make you more angry.

You counted along with the house numbers as you passed by, Rancher Street wasn’t that densely populated, if the look of the houses were anything to go by. There was quite a few that looked run down, number 38 included, once you arrived. You went inside, the door already unlocked, and sneezed when you inhaled all the dust that clouded the air. This place must’ve been barely touched throughout the last twenty years.

Grabbing a book left on the coffee table, you pulled it open, and sat on the edge of an old sofa, sighed through your nose when even more dust floated up from it.

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“You’ll go, because it’s the polite thing to do.” Joel told you firmly, sighing heavily as he looked over at you with his arms crossed.

“You think I give a shit about being polite?” You asked him, mirroring his stance by crossing your own arms. He rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose as he clearly brainstormed a way to get around your stubbornness.

“Just this one time,” He told you, saying your name pleadingly, “Then you’ll never have to go ‘round there again.”

That peaked your interest, and you uncrossed your arms, “Really? You promise?”

“Swear.” Joel replied, and sighed something near to relief, finally calling Ellie’s name. The stairs creaked, and she appeared less than a second later.

“You coming?” She asked, thought she had obviously been sat on the stairs, listening to yours and Joel’s… conversation, the whole time.

“Yeah,” You sighed unhappily, “I’m coming.”

The three of you made your way across town, with Joel checking a scrap piece of paper that you could only assume held directions. Lights had flickered on by now, the darkness of the evening being offset by the yellow lamps that poured light over the street. It was weird, you thought, being able to see so clearly in the darkness.

Joel knocked at the wooden door when you arrived, looking back at you where you stood, just off the porch with Ellie, like he thought you might run away if he didn’t keep his eyes on you.

Though the thought had occurred to you, you wouldn’t do it, not if it meant that Joel’s promise would be vacant. Just this once, he had sworn.

The front door opened as Ellie knocked your arm with her elbow, giving you a slight reassuring smile. You appreciated the effort, but the reassurance fell flat. There was something about this situation that you just couldn’t put into words, but it hurt. Her arm wrapped through your own as Joel followed Tommy inside, and she led you in after them, closing the door behind you.

Immediately, you were tense. Your heart felt as if it was beating in your throat, like it was going to stop if you took another step. You tried not to look around, keeping your eyes on your battered old shoes as you let Ellie continue leading you through the house.

Her abrupt stop had you stumbling into her, and lifting your head with furrowed brows. You glanced to where she was looking, seeing the names Kevin and Sarah written in a scrawl on a chalkboard in what you guessed would be a living room. You frowned, and gripped Ellie’s arm tighter, breaking her from her stare at the board.

You pretended not to notice the homely feel to the house, the warmth of it making your palms sweat. If you allowed your mind to wonder too far, you’d be reminded of how you had dreamed of living a life like this as a kid, dreamed of a house just like this one, shared with your father. You would be reminded of how he chose to have this, chose to have it without you.

Good job you keep your mind on a tight leash, you supposed, gritting your teeth and blinking away the angry tears that wanted to rise and fall from your eyes.

You breathed in deeply through your nose, looking up as Ellie began to loosen her grip on your arm, having arrived at the dining room. The concept had always been strange to you, having lived in a shitty apartment for basically all your life, and having a whole room just for eating seemed like a waste of valuable space.

Ellie took a seat, and you quickly followed in her example as Joel stood talking to Tommy by the doorway, engaged in conversation like they were as close as they had been two decades ago.

“You got this.” Ellie said, her hand on squeezing your arm as she looked towards where you were wringing your fingers together, your stomach feeling as though you’d left it back by the porch. You nodded at her, swallowing and smiling tightly.

You stayed quiet as Tommy finished setting the table, before he was moving back and forth between the dining room and kitchen, bringing various plates and a few sauces with each trip. Finally, he sat down at the head of the table beside Ellie, and you kept your gaze away from him.

“Sorry I couldn’t be there to greet you guys when you got in,” Maria called, finally approaching from the kitchen, and you were keeping your gaze on your hands until Ellie frantically began tapping your, her expression saying something you’d couldn’t quite understand, something close to pity in her eyes. “Kinda hard to get around so quick, these days.” Maria laughed, placed a big plate down on the table before standing back up, her hands on her back and—

If you had eaten any food, you were sure you would’ve thrown it all back up.

There, standing in front of you, was your father’s wife — pregnant.

It felt like a million different feelings were running through your head, faster than you could catch up, all your thoughts were racing, clashing together and leaving only one that was literate: What the fuck?

Maria sat down beside Joel, at Tommy’s side, and you could see in Joel’s eyes that he hadn’t expected this, could see the pity building in his eyes just as you’d seen in Ellie’s, and it was all far too much.

“I can’t do this.” You announced, slamming your hands on the table and feeling some satisfaction in the way the cutlery clattered together. You pushed your chair back, standing up, and saw your father open his mouth to speak.

He said your name, and you snapped.

“Don’t talk to me! What the fuck is wrong with you?” You cried out, staring daggers at the man who was supposed to be your dad. The angry tears that you had managed to push away earlier came rushing back, one already falling down your cheek. You wiped it away angrily.

“Kid, just listen—”

You seethed, “Kid? Do I look like a fucking kid to you? You missed out on that, Tommy. You have no idea—” Your voice broke for a moment, as you thought of all the things that had happened to you since your father had been around. “I don’t have to listen to you. You’re not my dad, remember? You left your daughter, years ago. You have no idea what we’ve been through.”

Ellie was stood beside you, her hand on your shoulder, though when she had got there, you had no idea. The edges of your vision were red, and you could feel the way your throat was tightening.

“I’m sorry,” He started, your name leaving his lips once again, and Ellie held firmly against you as you leant towards him, your blood warming in your veins as your heartbeat echoed in your ears.

“I don’t think sorry cuts it.” You laughed, humourlessly. “I don’t think anything does, actually. I will never forgive you. You hear me? You listening? Never.”

You turned away, Ellie’s hand falling away, and you even avoided Joel as he stood up and tried to reach out for you. You couldn’t face them, not like this, not when it felt like your father had taken a chisel to your heart, and left you with only splintered ribs. You were choking on the emptiness of it, the reality of your life and what it meant to the man who had helped create it.

You were more certain now than ever that he had never cared for you, that he had left because of you, not just despite you.

It was horrible, and it was something you had always suspected. A part of you wished that he had died alongside the Fireflies, because at least then he wouldn’t have had a choice in staying away, right? But no, he was alive and well, thriving in the home he’d made without you, while you worried back at the QZ that barely provided you with enough food to get by.

You were storming away, and had reached the house you'd been allocated before you even really noticed that you had left. The blood in your veins had reached a boil by now, and you could feel the steaming in your lungs, in the way it suffocated you and made every breath burn against your throat.

The backpack in your hands was still filled with everything you owned, seeing as you hadn’t bothered to unpack into somebody else’s bedroom, though it had been theirs a lifetime ago. It didn’t help the deepening rage within you, the despair that was tilting your entire world on its axis. Everything in your life was in this bag, probably weighing less than the plate of food Maria had brought out.

Meanwhile, your father had a whole house full of shit that belonged to him. You scoffed, feeling that burning sensation crawling up your chest, so close to hatred, but something far more raw, more painful.

Your feet took you back out to Rancher Street, legs moving before your mind was fully caught up. You met the rest of the Miller’s halfway through your trek, with them on their way to Joel’s new house, whilst you were trying to make your way to the gate, prepared to leave, rather than get left behind.

Joel called your name, his expression displaying the panic that was crushing his chest. He had been a builder, before. He had fixed things — it was what he did, what he liked to do. But this was something he didn’t know how to fix, something that may have just been broken beyond repair… he wasn’t sure what to do with that.

“Joel, don’t,” You told him, voice trembling as you spoke, stopping in front of the man who had looked after you for your whole life. “Please don’t. Nothin’ that anyone says could make me not hate him. Not even you.”

Joel swallowed, glancing back to his brother behind him, where he stood with his wife, before glancing to Ellie at his own side.

“I—I didn’t mean for this,” Tommy said, arms up by his head as if he was surrendering, but you knew he was just trying to make himself feel better. “I swear!”

“I don’t care,” You cried, feeling your frustration build that none of these people had the ability to understand you, to understand how it felt for your own father to look at you and leave you behind. They couldn’t get how crushing this was, that he was starting over. “Go ahead, start over with your wife. First time ‘round didn’t work, but second time, surely!”

He flinched at your words, as if they had hurt him, but your expression hardened. He had no idea what true hurt was — how could he?

“I know I wasn’t the greatest dad—”

“You have never been my dad. Joel is my dad. He’s looked after me my whole life while you were out lookin’ for something, who knows what, because I don’t believe you ever found it.” You spat at him, feeling Ellie approach your side, hold on to your wrist as your hands clenched into fists.

Joel’s face fell, the reality of your feelings towards your father were crushing, but he could see why you’d feel that way. He’d agree with you, too, if anybody deserved the title of your dad, it’d be himself, not his brother. He remembered a few times when you’d used the name for him, though you had been sick or exhausted down to your very bones both times, and he had figured that in your muddled mind, you’d gotten him confused with Tommy. That was the reason he had never corrected it, not wanting to squash whatever little amount of hope and love you had for his brother. He’d had no idea that the truth was that you saw him, not his brother, and your mind had made that connection.

He felt like he could cry when you turned to him, that glassy look in your eyes, and he saw the pieces of you that his own brother had broken. “I want to leave.” You told him, lip trembling as you said the words.

Joel didn’t know what to reply with — the two of you had nowhere to go, and Ellie didn’t, either. This place was your best option, your only option, really. He shook his head, mouth slightly agape as he tried to think of something to say, something that could convince you.

Ellie said your name, and you drew your gaze to her, where she looked guilty, far guiltier than you had ever seen her. “I want to stay.” She told you, her eyes darting away from you as if she was confessing some awful sin to you.

“I know,” You said, letting her hand slip from your wrist to your own hand, and squeeze tightly. “But I…”

Your gaze moved to Tommy and Maria, and your expression hardened, features turning to stone when you looked at the two of them. “I’ll stay. For now. And I’m still a Miller, but— but if anybody asks, I’m Joel’s daughter.”

Joel nodded, smiling thinly at you, tears welled up in his own eyes, and you nodded back to him.

“O—Okay.” Tommy said, swallowing, but you shushed him before he could continue.

“As for you, I don’t wanna see you. Let’s keep it the way you decided we should be.“ Your voice trembled, but you remained firm on your words. “I don’t wanna see your face, or hear your voice. I don’t want to know you. Joel can do what he likes, but you stay far away from me, you got it? The only kid you have is that one.” You finished, gesturing toward where Maria held a hand over her stomach.

Tommy looked as if he was going to disagree, but people had begun peeking through the windows of the houses on either side of the street, and when Joel stepped beside you, arm immediately going around your shoulders, he knew he had no choice.

“Hope you’re a better father to that kid than you were to me.” You hissed at him, seeing the way his face crumpled and finding satisfaction in it.

The small part of you, the darkest part, hoped every one of your words hurt him. Hoped that he lived the rest of his life knowing that he fucked up, that he ruined you, and that when you built yourself back up, he’d never get the chance to know you.

Joel took the backpack from your shoulder, pulling it over his own, and turned you away from the father you had disowned. The three of you walked away, not looking back to see the way Maria had to herd him away as he stared at you, something close to grief in his eyes.

When you arrived back at 38 Rancher Street, Ellie held your hand tightly while Joel opened the front door, dropping your backpack by the stairs as he moved towards the dust filled living room. The two of you followed him, and he turned around to see you squeezing Ellie’s hand, your lips trembling and your face crumpled as you looked up at him.

“Did I make a mistake? Did I ruin everything?” You asked him, trying so hard to keep yourself together, to tape all the little pieces of yourself into something that resembled okay, but it wasn't working.

“God, no, kid.” Joel said, and he was in front of you and Ellie before you could get another word in, pulling the two of you into his arms and breathing out a tired exhale. “I’m proud of you, proud of you both.” He told you, and your whole facade collapsed beneath you, leaving you sobbing into his arms, wondering where everything had gone wrong, wondering what that little kid would’ve said if she had heard your words tonight.

“We’re gonna be alright.” Joel told the two of you, feeling Ellie squeeze her arms tighter around him, until she let go, pointing upwards to let him know where she was heading. He nodded at her, an understanding expression on his face, and tightened both his arms around you.

“You swear?” You checked, unable to help yourself, and let yourself breathe a shaky sigh into his neck when he responded.

“Swear.”

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voiidlizrd · 6 months

Text

“Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago."

- Hozier, From Eden

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Summary: The love the Brothers have for you follows them from present to past and to future

WARNING: SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR NIGHTBRIGHTER

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Note: MC is gender neutral (they/them pronouns), some angst but relatively fluffy, slight gore (it’s the Devildom), slight POLY MC, demon being a creep to Asmo, small spoilers to Chapter 16 in Obey Me: Shall We Date

A/N: For Satan’s part, I used his frustration and anger in a way of how I’d describe my anger/frustration because it can be hard to express how I feel and it’s like a big bundle of “what the fuck”

Oh, I also based Levi’s excitement to how I’d get really excited cause when I excited I get somewhat violent like “OH MY GOD IM GOING TO EAT THE DRYWALL” excited

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Lucifer did not trust or like you when the two of you first met. You were a demon, he thought at first, and disliked you immediately. Sure, he may be a fallen Angel now, a previous Archangel, but he refuses to compare himself to a demon, to be seen beside a demon aside from Diavolo.

He is more embarrassed of the fact he’d have to rely on you to help him through the Devildom, but maybe he hopes you’ll back down because of the fact, as a demon, caring for the traitors of the Celestial realm would ruin your reputation, or cause you to get in the line of fire with other demons.

But… You didn’t.

You got disgusted looks, glares, and were even spat at because of the fact you associated with them, with him, but you didn’t seem to care one way or the other, just keeping your head high and keeping by his side, not even caring if he did his own glaring and snide comments towards you.

You always came back to him no matter what he said to you.

When learning that you were human, he got a little softer towards you. Perhaps underestimating you sue to your mortality and how fragile you are, always monitoring you as if you weren’t already skilled around the Devildom, as if you didn’t have the power to destroy him with a flick of your wrist, as if you weren’t his own attendant.

Despite him growing protective over you, you always protected him in the end, even if he insisted he didn’t need such from a ‘human’ such as yourself.

“A fallen angel…” a demon had whispered while you two were walking down the street together, you showing him the best record stores in town. “How disgusting. I can smell the Celestial realm on it.”

Lucifer didn’t care, of course. What would engaging with a lowly demon do? But you, your Wrath was clearly showing when you side eyed the demon with a sneer. They seemed to notice you.

“And a demon? I feel bad for them…” Another whispered.

“I’d rather kill myself than be seen near that forsaken angel!” The demon cackled to their partner.

It set you off, even if Lucifer tried to grab your wrist to stop you. You approached the demons, and Lucifer felt his heart lurch. If you got hurt, they would smell the blood on you. How human it was. How soft you were. How pathetically fragile you are. It would ruin Diavolo. It would ruin everything Lucifer was trying to build.

He was about to shout when you grabbed the demon by the horns and tossed them to the ground, an aura about you radiating that made him shiver. You whispered something to the demon in their ear and suddenly their arm was twisted abnormally, as if the bones had shattered themselves at your voice, the skin stretching to accommodate the poking bones.

The demon could only scream, but silenced itself when you covered their mouth. “If I ever,” you said lowly to them. “Hear you utter those words, or any word for that matter, towards Lucifer and his brothers, I will make sure you lose more than just an arm.”

A single glance to the other demon cowering away from you only nodded, understanding the threat went both ways.

You suddenly flipped a switch and walked over to Lucifer with a smile, as if you hadn’t caused a demon to almost piss themselves because of you.

“Let’s get something to eat,” you said with a groan, holding your stomach. “I’m starving!”

He could only follow you silently to Hells Kitchen, unable to speak for a while after those events. He understood finally that you could be trusted to handle yourself, and, to handle his brothers (and himself).

It allowed him to lower his guard around you, to stop seeing you as a soft little human and more of an embodiment of pure, raw power that ended up in a human as kind, as empathetic, as funny and creative and beautiful and handsome as…

As you.

He would never admit his infatuation of you, finding it silly that he would fall for you so quickly. Perhaps it was a moment of weakness because of his Fall. Perhaps he was desperate for interaction with something other than loathsome demons aside from Diavolo. Perhaps it was the fact you were human and the very existence of humans brought him back to Lilith always.

How she gave herself up for them, for one.

It made him sick. It made him hate himself. It made him want to hate you, deep down.

How can he love the very thing that ruined his life? That ruined his brothers’ life? That caused his Father to have to try and punish Lilith for this.

He hated the way his heart throbbed in his chest when you were around. Those eyes gazing into his with a smile so kind, ignoring the harsh words that would escape his lips cursing your existence as a human being, yet you continue to smile at him.

He hates this feeling. He wishes it to go away. He wishes to stop seeing you in his dreams every night, imagining your hands running through his hair, kissing his skin, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. He wishes he didn’t want to spend more time with you. He wishes much, much more.

A toxic, bitter disgust settles on his tongue, like eating a sour lemon, leaving nothing but an ache in his heart and a bundle of confusion, anger, and sadness tangled up inside his chest.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Lucifer sits in his room, idly doing paperwork that seemed to never lessen in their stacks, to him, it only seems to grow more and more. He sighs quietly and drops his quill, settling his face in his hands, listening to the idle crackle of the fire in the background. His shoulders were stiff and so was his back. Lucifer considered for just a moment of taking a break, but there was an itch in the back of his mind urging him forward, that it had to be finished today. If he didn’t finish, it will ruin his reputation with Diavolo.

Just before he picked up his pen, there was a knock on his office door. He furrowed his brows, thinking it was on of his brothers coming to complain about one another again, or to complain about Mammon taking something from them again, he sighed;

“Come in.”

To his surprised (and to his dismay), you entered with a cup of coffee in hand along with a small box balancing on your forearm that held the cup as you opened the door, shutting it behind you with your foot as you grabbed the box in your now free hand. You smiled at him, ignoring his little glare, which would’ve been terrifying if you hadn’t seen it all before.

“This was an unexpected visit, MC.” He said, looking down at his paperwork. “Did one of my brothers tell you to come here?”

“Nope!” You said, setting down the box in front of him, on top of his papers, and the cup of coffee on the side away from the papers, because you didn’t want to annoy him, or spill the coffee. You’d… never see the next day, if you did.

“I came here to see you, Lucifer”.

The ache returned and so did the taste of something sour and bitter, he clenched his hand underneath his desk subconsciously, looking away from you and down at his paperwork, trying to give you the hint to leave him alone.

But you never left, as you never do.

“Aheeemm.” You cleared your throat annoyingly loud, making him sigh.

“Yes?”

“Try the coffee I made you!”

“…I prefer to make my own coffee, thank you.” He muttered, pretending to read off of his paper.

“Luciferrrr…” You whined, sitting down in the chair across his desk, sighing loudly. “If you at least look in the box I got you and drink just a little sip of that coffee, I swear to you, I’ll bribe your brothers to leave you alone for the rest of the day. At least until I make dinner.”

He glances up at you and sighs quietly, dropping his pen again. “Fine.” He said, grabbing the box first, “you better hold up to your word.”

You nodded happily and lean forward in your chair to get a closeup of his face. Upon opening the box, he sees Devil macaroons from Madam Scream’s, Princess’ Poison Apple flavored. He’s narrowing his eyes at the name, never hearing of that before, given that you are the one introducing most of Devildom’s cuisines to him, when he ever has time.

“I always think of the Poison Apple like green apples,” you said with a hum. “I mean they’ve never gotten me sick, but they do have a bitterness about them with a hint of sweetness, kinda like how dark chocolate does.”

He barely understands half of what you’re talking about but he shuts the box and sets it to the side, aiming for the coffee. He was feeling a little exhausted, thinking about drinking some of his own brew in a few hours or so.

You look more excited as he brings the cup to his lips.

The taste of incredibly bitter coffee hit his tongue immediately, the warm black brew made his heart quicken, and tongue tingle. But the taste, the horrible bitter taste, it made his nose scrunch up.

Yet it was so warm, comforting, and familiar.

“You couldn’t have at least put sugar in this.” He glares at you as you snicker lightly as his expression.

“Sorry, sorry. But I did.” You said, standing up. “It’s a special bean brew I got from the shop today. The reason it’s so bitter is because it brings out the admiration the maker has for the drinker. That being you!”

His hands, through his gloves, are warmed by the mug of coffee, the crackling of fire filling in the silence that settled between you two. He couldn’t bare to look away from you as the tips of his ears grew warm while staring back into those eyes.

So soft.

So loving.

So perfect.

Lifetimes could go by and he could never be bored. Thousands upon thousands of years and never once forget. Devildom was suppose to be a punishment, a way to bare his sins, but how can this be a punishment when you were here in front of him? A human being that surely was a silent gift from his Father to him and his brothers. You must have been. To be molded so perfectly, to have your soul reflect his very being.

You reach your hand out to him, tilting your head to the side, as if examining him, and settle your hand upon his cheek, rubbing your thumb across it tenderly. He almost melts into your touch, craving it, missing it.

Then the comfortable silence is broken by the sound of yelling coming from downstairs, a mixture of Mammon and Levi arguing along with Satan’s screaming at them. You sigh and pull back, a fond smile on your face.

“Well, a deal is a deal,” you said standing up. “I’ll go take care of that and call you down for dinner, okay? And you can’t say no because I’ll drag you down.”

You leave the room, quickly, in order to stop the brothers from possibly breaking anything. Lucifer, before you opened the door and shut it behind you, almost reaches out to grasp you, to hold you close, to never let you leave.

Then the commotion downstairs dies down as quickly as it started.

You were a human of your word.

He looks to the mug and brings it back to his lips, savoring the bitterly sweet flavor that spreads in his mouth and throat as he drinks it down, never stopping as the warmth continues to burn at his heart and melt him. He wants to savor it, but the greed inside of him wants more and more to drink, to taste more of the feelings you brewed inside the coffee, to feel more of your love.

Lucifer set down the empty cup, his throat tightening as a wave washes over him, a singular tear running down his cheek. He wipes it away gently as he breathes out, shakily, confused.

He wants to drown in this lovely bitter feeling for all of eternity.

───────────────

Mammon believes he doesn’t need you. You may be their attendant to lead them around the Devildom, to get them settled, but he doesn’t need you. After all he’s The Great Mammon! He can do everything himself, if need be. It’s what he’s always done. Looking after his little brothers, looking after his older brother. It’s something he’s always done, even if the other brothers seem to hate him for it, or to berate him for whatever reason. They’re his brothers after all, he knows that they love him, even if they’re a little mean to him. He loves them dearly, even if he can never express it, or put it into actions properly.

But you always see through it somehow. Always giving him a playful smile when he unintentionally compliments his brothers. Never taking his little snide comments to you to heart, only lightly rolling your eyes at him, like you’ve heard it all before.

He doesn’t need you.

He didn’t need you to walk with him through RAD, keeping him from running off away from his classes, holding his arm and ignoring his complaining.

“Lemme go!” He struggled, though, not putting much weight into his struggling or fight. He could toss you off if he desperately wanted to.

“UGGHH I don’t wanna go to my classes! If I do, I’m gonna die. I’m actually gonna die, they’re so boring! Ya’ know that too! You were halfway of fallin’ asleep last period!”

“Yeah but I still managed to write all the notes in the class down, unlike you.”

“Nuh uh! I got m’ notes!”

Liar.

He doesn’t need you to help him. To scold him. He’s already got Lucifer to do all of that. He doesn’t need you he doesn’t.

“Hey!” The sudden snap of your voice caused him to jump as he heard the snickers of a demon running away.

That’s when he saw his wallet being waved around in the demons hand, as if mocking Mammon because of the fact he was robbed blind, barely even registering it.

Mammon didn’t need you, he couldn’t easily just chased after the demon and caught up to them no problem. After all, he was the most fast of his brothers. Fastest swimmer, flyer, runner. He would’ve caught up with the demon if you hadn’t chased after them, sprinting after them and catching up only a few feet away, tackling them to the ground and slamming their head to the ground.

“Get offa me!” The demon yelled, trying to stretch themselves from you getting the wallet. “That traitor angel has Diavolo wrapped around his finger! It’s not like he’ll miss petty pocket change!”

This only angered you further. Mammon could only watch with wide eyes as you, a human, began to plummet the demons face in. Hitting them, scratching them, anything you could do to their face to make then scream and wail and try and fight you off. They tried to shove you, but you grabbed their horns and slammed their head down into the marble, rendering them completely dazed. You snatched the wallet from their loosened grip, standing up with a disgusted grimace, and spit down onto them.

“Next time I see your disgusting face around here again, I’ll curse you to live in eternal agony.” You gritted your teeth, giving a kick to the demons side, and walking off back to Mammon.

He didn’t need you. He could’ve done it himself. He doesn’t need a human to defend him, to fight for him, he doesn’t need-

“Here you go Mams.” You smiled, wiping your bloodied knuckles on your uniform pants. His wallet in one piece. “Make sure to keep your wallet in the side pocket. That way you don’t get your wallet swiped. Trust me, I’ve learned from experience.”

You were snickering as if nothing big just happened, grabbing his arm and dragging him off to the next class as he was in a daze, looking down at the wallet. There was a small bit of blood on the leather.

He…

Mammon’s heart began to race as he wiped the blood off the leather with his thumb, swallowing hard. A warmth crawling up his neck and spreading across his cheeks.

He… wants you to need him too…

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Mammon hated today. He hated everything today. Leviathan blamed him for stealing some stupid figure from his room and complained to Lucifer. Lucifer decided it would be a great idea to string him up on the chandelier again for making Leviathan bother him while he was working and for stealing. Not listening to his protests. He was struggling against the binds as Asmodeus sighed pitifully at Mammon.

“Seriously, Mammon, you need to learn from your mistakes. This is, like, what, the fifth time this week.” Asmodeus looked down at his nails and picked at one of them.

“I told ya! It ain’t my fault! I didn’t steal shit from Levi!”

“Yes you did! Just admit it!” Levi cried. “It was a rare collectible! My prized jewel! I know you stole it, scummy Mammon! Give it back!”

“I didn’t. Steal. Yer’. Stupid. Toy!”

“It isn’t a toy! Monster!”

“Hey!” Your voice was like a saving grace to Mammon when he heard you coming through the door, a hand on your hip. “The hells going on?”

“Mammon stole my ultra Ruri-Chan figurine! I know he did! He was the only one in my room today!”

“Did you?” You asked, looking at Mammon with a raised brow.

“No!” He yelled, tears almost coming into his eyes in frustration, only seeing Lucifer just stand idly by silently. “I didn’t steal shit! Sure I’ll steal somethin’ else from the house but I ain’t touching shit from Levi’s stuff! It’s all junk anyways!”

“You take that back!-“

“Enough.” Your voice silenced their bickering. You stepped forward and looked to Lucifer. “Let him down.”

The other brothers watched in awe at your tone, demanding Lucifer to do what you wanted. Lucifer raised a brow at you, testing you, expecting you to immediately back down. But your little staring contest ended in Lucifer sighing and snapping the rope and letting Mammon fall to the ground. He groaned but looked up at you with admiration, and a gratitude as his eyes continued to water. The frame of your figure was like a sunrise in the Devildom, purely beautiful to him, better than gold. His heart thrummed in his chest violently.

“Hey!” Levi whined. “He didn’t give my figurine back! He didn’t even apologize!”

“Levi,” you look at him and Levi wilted back. “You should clean your room once in a while. I found the figurine box buried under your clothes. It fell from the shelf because of the other figurines on it.”

Levi’s face burst into red, embarrassed. He began fiddling with his fingers, finding his nails more interesting. He avoided Mammon’s gaze the most, more than yours, as you untied Mammon easily.

“Levi.”

You give him a little look, a raised brow. Like you were a disappointed parent. Lately you’ve tried to get the brothers to apologize more to Mammon whenever he is accused of things that he hasn’t done. Especially Levi and Mammon. You hoped to bring them closer, or at least stop them from constantly yelling at one another. Also to communicate, even a little bit better with one another.

“I-I know…” Leviathan muttered under his breath, looking at Mammon finally as he stood up. Levi breathed in and sighed.

“I’m sorry… I-I just-“ Levi’s face grew more redder than before, it almost rivaled any Devildom equivalent tomato. “I’m sorry Mammon. You know I get very protective over my stuff… Especially those figurines… I’m-I’m really sorry!”

Mammon couldn’t even feel the anger he felt before, staring at Levi, but his focus was mainly on you, what you did for him. He looked at Levi, than to you. You were more preoccupied looking over his skin and rubbing a loving touch over the slight rope burn on his skin.

“Uhm… Yeah.” Mammon looked down at floor with his face a little red from your soft touches. “It’s fine. Just quit blammin’ me for the fact you’re so messy, Levi. That rooms a pigsty, somethin’ is bound to get lost.”

“Hey! I-“ Levi looked at you and saw a look in your eyes, he immediately shut his mouth and nodded, running off back to his room and shutting the door.

Mammon was silently led by you to his room, much to the complaints of his other brothers, but he couldn’t have felt more proud as they complained, your attention solely on him. You sat down on his bed, looking at him as he stood there. He tried to ignore the drumming of his heart racing, the swelling, the tightness in his throat.

“Y’- y’gonna scold me now?”

“Do you think I am?”

“…no…”

“Then you know my answer.”

Mammon couldn’t hear anything else other than his ramming heart. He couldn’t focus. The pain and frustration of earlier mattered little to what he felt right now. You motioned him closer. He slowly approached and you grabbed his hand gently, sitting him down beside you and tapping your thigh. He settled his head on your lap, awkwardly.

He swallowed as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“You okay?” You asked quietly.

He couldn’t be more okay than right now. He nodded as he buried his face with a turn of his head into your stomach, smothering himself in the smell of your shirt and your skin. There was the scent of detergent along with the sweet scent of you. It was a warmth of you that made him want to cry. You always focused on him, like he was more important and than anything else. More important than money, than gold, higher than any deity. Like he was your everything, and the way you ran his fingers through his hair, he was brought back to a weird nostalgia. As if this has happened many times before. Your voice. Your touch. Your smell. It all felt…right.

He never wanted to leave this. Not at all.

“Yknow,” you spoke up, twirling a strand of his white hair. “Even though you can be a pain in my ass for getting in trouble so much…”

He grunted into your shirt, as if warning you about your words, which was a fruitless threat.

“You’re the best first man I could ever ask for.”

His breath caught his throat and tears welled up in his eyes, now soaking into the fabric of your shirt. His lower lip trembled and he tried to smother himself further into you, wrapping his arms around you tightly, sniffling. That “first man” again… It made his heart soar, it made him want to hold you even tighter, to protect you like you protect him, it made him want to do everything for you, to bring you the joys that the world would have to offer, no matter the cost of Grimm.

“I love you…” He mutters. He wants to say it more. He wants to whisper it eternally, he wants you to feel what he feels, to suffer what he feels and how beautifully his chest aches for you, how there are words he wants to scream out to you.

“I love you… I love you…” He continues. Sniffling. He hates crying but he can’t help it.

He is your first man, as you’ve said. It’s his job to protect you, to provide for you, to give you the entire world, if you asked him to. And he’s more than willing to do it.

───────────────

It was your mission to change Levi, even a little bit. By change, you wanted to bring confidence to him, a confidence he never had in the Devildom or the Celestial Realm. Even a little bit of it would go a long way. You’ve made a little progress, which goes a long way in your book, but there are set backs to your hard work.

Like the demons at RAD especially.

It irritated you to no end about how they make fun of Levi, it pissed you off. But Levi didn’t understand your anger. He would sulk constantly because he knew what they were saying, but it wasn’t like you were apart of their comments about him. Levi just didn’t get you.

Especially when you do the things he doesn’t expect people do to for him. You fuel his spirits as an otaku. You buy him mangas you knew he’d love, watch anime with him constantly when you were over at the HOL, playing games with him or watching him play. It brought him a peace he didn’t know he could achieve, it made his heart race, his hands sweat, and face heat up. It was everything he ever wanted and more. Perfect, even. And it was hard to say “perfect” in the House of Lamentation, especially around his brothers.

You two were sitting in the partially empty classroom with other demons taking their seats, waiting for class to start. He was rambling about the new game he hoped to get so you can play together.

“I heard that it’s an open world and there’s so many options you can do as of gameplay that can also build your character and their personality that will affect the choices that will pop up in the game! Oh and-“

“Oh my gosh does this guy ever shut up?” You heard a demon behind you whisper. Well, not exactly whisper. They made it to where Levi could hear what they said.

Levi immediately shut his mouth tightly, looking down at the table, picking his painted nails quietly as his cheeks turned red from embarrassment. This made you grit your teeth, turning around to the demon who continued to idly chat to their table partner.

“Hey, what the hell is your problem?”

“No… MC you don’t have to-“

“My problem? What’s his problem? He’s been going a mile a minute without a single breath and it’s annoying. Plus he was talking too loud and basically made it hard for me to even have a conversation.” The demon sneered at you, leaning their cheek against their hand. “I basically did you a favor by saying what we’re all thinking.”

You opened your mouth to say something else, to argue for Levi, but he grabbed your hand gently. “It’s fine… I mean I was being weird and-“

“You know what.” You interrupted, looking at the demon. “We’re sorry for interrupting your conversation.”

You turned away from the demon’s table, leaving Levi to sit there and stare at you, doubt immediately filling his mind. Did you mean that? Did you agree with the demon? But you were staring at him so sweetly as he explained his game… Was he just seeing it- was-

Then he heard the sound of muffled yelling and the words of the demon desk mate of the other rude demon who interrupted you and Levi’s conversation. Levi turned back to see the demon clawing at their face, mainly their mouth, which appeared to be sealed shut, as if their lips were glued together. Levi turned to you when he saw your slightly sadistic smirk as the two demon deskmates hurried out of the room.

Levi looked at you, then back at the door the demon scurried out of, then back at you. You were smiling, those eyes explained everything he needed to know about what happened.

“We can’t interrupt their conversation if they can’t have one, can we?”

Levi stared at you like a fish out of water, wide eyes and red cheeks as his heart raced, confused thoughts racing through his mind. Why? Why do this for someone like him?

“Levi? Aren’t you gonna tell me more about the game? You have to! We’re gonna play it together, right? I gotta know all about it first so we can enjoy it!” Grinning playfully at him, all thoughts were thrown out of the window as he relaxed.

That’s right, he never wanted anything more than to talk to you.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

“MC! MC YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS!” He was practically shaking you before you even stepped foot in his door. Somehow he detected that you were walking down the hallway to his room and he opened the door before you knocked and said the passcode.

“Uh, what can’t I believe?” You gently put your hands on his shoulders to stop him from rattling your brain too much.

“COME IN! LOOK!” He dragged you inside and shut the door, locking it so no normies (his brothers) entered the room.

He pointed to his partially filled up bookshelf filled with hardcovers and manga volumes. There, on a lone shelf with a single hard book, was the infamous TSL book you saw when you first arrived to the Devildom and spoke to Levi.

“There’s finally a hardcover book on Tales of Seven Lords! Can you believe it!? I was the first one to revive the book! The hardcover no less! Look at it!” He grabbed it off the shelf and shoved it in your hands to look at the skillfully crafted art covered front.

“IM SO SO HAPPY! I could die! I could literally die right now!” He squealed and bounced up and down and barely even breathing from his excitement, on the verge of gritting his teeth as he clenched and unclenched his fists to conceal the urge to just explode! “OH! MC, so you know the third lord right!? The lord-“

“The Lord of Shadows.” You smiled at him fondly, as if reminiscing on a memory that was most treasured to you, the day you two first met, gazing at him with just as much devotion as it was in your words.

He stopped slowly, staring at you with wide eyes and he blinked. You knew about TSL? Well, it’s no wonder you knew about it, it’s pretty famous and he did ramble to you about it more than once, and during those rambles you’d always… Stare at him. With those eyes so soft and urging him to continue, never stopping him once. Even when he went on for hours and hours you never stopped him unless you wanted to get a snack or drink or use the bathroom, even then you always came back and would sit down right next to him and just… Listen. Usually incorporating your own thoughts into the conversation, but mainly letting him speak. And in those rambles, you remembered everything. The memories itself made him blush and heart pound, his hands sweating and his legs feel like jello.

Even now, the way you looked at him, it made him feel even worse, as if his legs would give out any moment and he would collapse into your arms and still you would look at him with that expression. So warm and loving, something he never thought in his loser life he’d see. He’s only seen it in anime, never IRL.

“Levi?” The sound of his name snapped him out of his stupor.

“Uh- Huh? What?”

“You were telling me about the Lord of Shadows, yeah? What did you wanna say?”

“I uh…” he can’t speak, his mouth feels dry as tears well up in his eyes, the overwhelming warmth crawling in his chest and prickling his skin. He wants to crush you in a hug, or he just wants to kiss you- okay no too far! He… He doesn’t know what to do with himself. All he can do is breathe shallowly as he stares at you, the tears running down his face.

“Levi?” You furrow your brows in concern, putting the book gently back in its place on the shelf, and stepping forward to him, a hand pressed against his cheek. “You alright?”

Oh the warmth of your skin sends tingles up his spine. He relaxes into the softness of your palm, more tears running down his face. It felt so right, so perfect, like time never passed and it was just you and him in this moment. He never thought he’d experience this normie encounter, this ‘love’, that he always watched or read about in cheesy anime romances, but the way you rubbed his tears away only made it more solid for him, more real.

“Are you okay?” You ask again, more quietly, softly, as if he would lurch away from you like a frightened fish.

“Yes…” He breathed out, sniffling. He shuts his eyes tightly, not being able to look you in the eye, and brings you into his arms, needing to feel more of your warmth, of your pure love. “I just… really, really, really like you. Like… uhm… like like you.”

You chuckle quietly as his embarrassment, running your fingers through his hair. “I like like you too, Lev.”

His blush only worsened as he buried his face in your neck, breathing in the scent of your skin, holding you even tighter.

You always listened to him. You have him all the confidence he could ever want in the world, even if it wasn’t much. He’d promise that one day, he was gonna have enough confidence to let the words “love you” slip from his lips and not in his texts…

───────────────

Satan is angry. He was born angry. Angry over what? He never understood why he was angry, he just was. The urge to just destroy, to tear everything he touched, saw, smelled and tasted apart. To rip into everything and make sure nothing would be recognized from it, whether that be a person or an object.

He never understands why he’s like this.

He doesn’t wanna be like this. He doesn’t wanna constantly feel the rage bubbling inside his chest and cause him to clench his fists tight, to make him grit his teeth, to make the unshed tears of frustration well in his eyes and almost fall. He doesn’t want to feel them. He wants to understand why he feels this way constantly, why it gets to the point he wants to rip off his own skin, to claw his way out of his flesh and rip his hair out, to rip anyone apart, even his proclaimed brothers.

Satan was angry at them the most.

Anything they did made him angry and he hated being angry and he hated it when they did it constantly. The yelling, the pointless bickering, the scheming, Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer. He blamed Lucifer for all of this, for making him the way he is. He’s angry over something that’s now passed and what is his purpose now? What is he supposed to be angry about now? He doesn’t even know why he’s supposed to be angry in the first place, tell him Lucifer, tell him what the point is in being angry over something he doesn’t understand. Was this his punishment for a war he didn’t even realize he was apart of?

He doesn’t understand and that makes him even more angry. He hates being angry. He hates his brothers. He hates everything and it’s a pain because he doesn’t want to. He can only hope that this anger tires him out so he can sleep, the only time ever him and his brothers ever find peace.

But there is no peace or rest for Wrath.

It surges through him as Satan tosses the coffee table to the wall, shattering the glass and causing the wall to crack, leaving an indent in it. He yells at nothing, the animalistic snarls and growls echoing through the living room as he continues to break everything in his sight and throw everything. His brothers can only watch as he destroys the living room.

“Satan!” He hears Asmo yell. “Stop it! You’re gonna throw something at us! If something hits my face you’re so dead!”

“Seriously Satan, calm down! It’s not the serious!” Mammon chimed in, trying to enter the living room but was quickly conked in the head by a hardcover book. “OW! Hey! That’s it! When you’re done with yer little temper tantrum, you better run!”

“Shut up, you imbecile!” Satan yelled, his throat tightening. He hates what he’s doing but he can’t help it. The anger hurts so much he can’t help but destroy. Even the precious books we was starting to enjoy, the thing that taught him what he needed to know about this new world he was created in.

“Satan,” HIS voice finds its way in Satan’s ears and he tenses, gritting his teeth, the anger almost bursting inside of him like a volcano, only worsening at the sound of Lucifer. “Don’t make me have to string you up at the chandelier again.”

Satan turned his head to his eldest brother, a sneer present across his face. They both stares each other down, Satan’s wrath boiling over. He was on the verge of pouncing when you suddenly showed up. You must’ve heard the commotion of crashing and yelling while on your way to HOL and came over immediately, maneuvering your way through the brothers.

Satan stares back at you, the rage inside of him still eating it’s way out of him. He wants to hurt you too. And that’s what makes him hate himself and his sin even more.

“Satan?” Your voice calls to him as he clenched his fists, shaking with anger. The frustrated tears began to leak from his eyes, down his cheeks, his teeth clenched so tight they could break.

“Hey,” you approach him slowly, taking small steps forward, your arms raised and open for him. “Cmere. It’s alright, let’s breathe, okay?”

“We’ve been telling him to breathe!” Asmo said with a pout. “But he wouldn’t-“

You looked at Asmo and he closed his mouth, seeing the look in your eyes saying “not now” and he understood. The brothers were ushered away by Lucifer when you looked at him. Crowding Satan wasn’t helping and you knew this.

“Satan?” You called again, his name sliding off of your lips like it was a name that was only meant for a demon that is important.

He couldn’t answer you as he continued to tremble, his nails digging into his palms.

“Hey…” You motioned your arms a little with a smile, stepping forward, closer to him, only inches away. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

He nods, slowly, swallowing hard as he tries to breathe but it comes off as rapid and heavy, given that he basically trashed the entire living room for half an hour.

Your warm arms wrapped around his torso. He was stiff as a board, still shaking, not returning your hug, afraid of hurting you if he even dared to touch you. Your hold was gentle as you brought his head closer to your shoulder for him to lean into, his heavy breathing hitting your neck as well as a bit of sweat and the tears that went down his face. Your fingers danced through his blonde hair. Your breathing was relaxed, composed, your heartbeat did not skip. It was calm. You were calm. Not worried at all around him, only leaning your head on his as your fingers continued to thread through his hair.

Satan’s shaky hands slowly came up around you, finding their way to your shirt, gripping it tightly, almost close to tearing it from his sharp nails. His face buried itself further into the crook of your neck, the tears hitting your skin hard as he breathed out shakily, biting his tongue to silence himself and try and hold himself together, but his resolve was breaking at the seams from how you held him so gently, like he was the fragile one and not the demon that destroyed everything in the house.

His breath hitched and a choked back cry left his throat, his legs slowly giving out beneath him as he began to crumple to the floor. You followed him, guiding his body down to the ground and still continuing to hold him. He was practically in your lap now, legs tightly around your waist as tightly as the hands that gripped your shirt. His anger began to simmer to a halt immediately, the scent of you overwhelming it, bringing his racing heart to a calming pace as he matched your breathing. The adrenaline coming down, leaving him at an all time low.

It was never usually like this after his rampages… He never felt this much clarity, no matter how bittersweet.

“You wanna talk about it?”

He didn’t give any indication of yes or no, simply keeping still.

“Was it your brothers?”

A slow nod. Yes.

“They say something to you?”

He shook his head. No.

“Mm. Too loud today?”

Nod. Yes.

“I’m guessing you were reading?”

He didn’t even need to nod for you to know. You sighed quietly. You’d have to scold them. But that could come later.

“I’m sorry…” his voice rasped out, muffled by your skin.

“About the furniture? Don’t worry, I got it covered-“

“No. About the book. The book I was reading.” He said, his grip on you getting tighter, like an apology. “It got so loud I snapped it in half… All of the pages were everywhere and that made me angrier… You got that book for me and I wanted to read it in the living room but they just ruined it… They ruined the reading time I wanted and I ruined the book… I’m sorry… I’m so-“

“Hey,” you move your hand up to his cheek, making him reluctantly move himself away from your neck and look into your eyes. “Don’t worry about the book. I’m more worried about you. I can always get another for you.”

You were worried about him. There was no doubt you saw the state of the living room; the overturned, torn couches that bled out fluff everywhere, the scratched up walls with a few dents in them from him throwing everything he could at them, broken glass here and there, splinters, and more. And yet you were more concerned about him.

Satan’s heart pounded softy in his chest, tightening, he swallowed again. He wasn’t angry or overwhelmed with rage, just warm. A good warm. A warmth that could only be described as admiration as the soft look started to get into his head, unable to remove it from his memory, which it was engrained in.

He buried his face back into your neck. He was exhausted and you weren’t making it any easier on him. The exhaustion of his rampage hit him like a truck and the warmth of your words and your body only soothed him further. Is this what the brothers meant by the Celestial Realm? Describing the bliss of it, the clarity, the pure warmth with the sun constantly beaming down on them. You were Satan’s sun in the dark Devildom, lulling him to sleep.

You smile at him and kiss his temple, the flesh tingling after your lips leave his skin. His heart was practically buzzing now.

You always took care of him…

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

“MC, is there a reason you’re covering my eyes?”

“It’s a surprise! You’ll know it when you see it! Oh- watch your footing here, there’s a few holes in the pavement.”

Your hands covered Satan’s eyes, leading him over to who-knows-where with a smile on your face, almost mischievous, or maybe it just looked that way due to your excitement. You led him carefully through the Devildom Main Street, going past stores and other shops, mindful of the demons walking past the two of you. Your smile only grew as you made him stop.

“Are we there?”

“Yup! You just need to reach out your hand, okay? Push.” You instructed, leading him to the door.

He followed your instructions and pushed open the door, the sound of a bell chiming and the scent of coffee and tea enveloping his senses, as well as the sudden feeling of something rubbing against his leg. You removed your hands and suddenly Satan’s eyes adjusted to the soft lights, as well as the noise of… meowing?

He looked down to see an orange cat rubbing itself against his leg, purring loudly and chittering as it did so. Satan’s eyes grew wide as he looked at him, a bubbling of excitement building in his chest. He looked at you.

“Surprise! It’s a cat cafe! It opened a few weeks ago and I just had to bring you! They even have a little bookshop just across the way so it’s pretty convenient and cozy, yeah? Oh! Before that!” You grabbed his hand and led him to a booth by the window. “I got us seats reserved beforehand!”

Satan could only mutely follow your lead and sit down at the booth, the orange cat returning to jump onto the table and sit there proudly, a little lazy smile on its face. Satan looked at you again.

“You- You did this for me?”

“Mhm!” A waiter came by and handed you the menus and you skimmed through it, already knowing what was on the menu given that this cafe was there in the future, you having gone to it multiple times before with Satan.

Satan could barely breathe as you handed him the menu, looking down at it and then to the cat, who slowly blinked at him. He slowly blinked back with a small smile. You snickered under your breathe when you practically saw stars forming in his eyes at the orange cat that now lazily laid itself on the table, as if it owned the place, as expected of many cats.

“Thank you MC…” He said, petting the cat on its side with a soft smile. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I didn’t.” You smiled. “But I wanted to.”

Satan has always read about love in romance novels, always seen how the author describes love as a bundle of emotions that mix into one, becoming overwhelming, in a way that is painful, but it feels good, the pain, as it is described. Needing to hold the lover so tightly, needing more and more of their mind, body, and soul, needing their warmth, unable to breathe unless speaking their name. And when they speak their name of their lover, it’s like taking a breath in of their existence and exhaling it, needing more and more of their entire being that consumes the mind of the protagonist.

Satan never understood the feeling until now. Gazing upon you as the streetlights beam through the window and cast upon your face, almost like a halo or as if you were descending from the Heavens and in front of him now. Satan could barely breathe, nor think, for the very first time. This feeling he felt, he realized that it would last lifetimes, even more. Seeing you would be like falling in love for the very first time.

He began to thank his Father in the Celestial Realm, a Father whom he’s never met, but thanks him anyway, for creating you, for letting you sit in the booth with him now.

He doesn’t even realize your hand had enveloped his across the table, fingers intertwined perfectly. His fingers closed in on your hand. Oh your warmth… His heart pounded and eyes began to tear up without his notice.

Oh the love inside his chest as he stared at you, never breaking the silence with you and enjoying the bliss of the somewhat quiet cafe, the occasional chatter of demons, the clang of silverware, the meowing the cats. He felt no anger boil inside of him, just peace, peace for the very first time.

“I love you, MC.” He blurted out, the word ‘love’ heavy on his tongue, exhaling your name. He felt like it wasn’t enough.

Your smile made his heart almost stop. “I love you too Satan.”

He firmly head your hand, blinking back the tears that came from the weird familiarity that bloomed in his chest. It’s like he’s known you for decades, even more, and loved you for longer.

“I love you.” He repeats, more softly.

There’s a glint in your eyes, like you know. Like you’ve always known. “I love you too.”

He was born from rage, but you give him new purpose, you complete his newly formed heart. And he hopes that his existence can complete yours, as well.

───────────────

Asmodeus is beautiful, everyone knows this. The Jewel of the Heavens, now the Jewel of Hell. Quite literally a diamond in the rough. But somehow he shines despite this, and he knows this, he can tell by the way some demons start to warm up to him, or begin to stare for longer at him than they previously did when he first arrived at the Devildom.

He adores the attention. He craves it. He knows he’s beautiful, but to be appreciated for his beauty is even more than what he could ask for.

But yet it isn’t enough. He loves it yet somehow it… irritates him.

Perhaps it is the fact he’s still seen as the jewel of heaven? Loved for who he once was, not the beauty of who he is now? Maybe they are right with how they viewed him. His old self was probably better than who he is now. No longer as pure as he was, no longer with those beautiful wings and now stuck with the ugly leather and scorpion tail.

He knows he’s beautiful, he does. But yet why does he feel sick looking at himself in the reflection of his mirror, no longer seeing himself as Asmodeus and rather a stranger.

Asmo is torn between his thoughts, trying to find himself among the doubt, the insecurity, the pain of who he is. Give him the attention he deserves, the attention he needs, but see him.

See him… Please.

Love him.

Please…

I can’t be the only one that loves myself, can I?

But then you came into his life, to his brothers lives, in all your glory as a human being in the scary Devildom, completely unafraid by the demons around you, their strength, and the strange ingredients and the wildlife that surrounds you.

At first, he thought you would be like most humans he heard demons talk about, including angels. All humans are known for being helpless against temptation, all falling to the urges of power or lust, it was quite simple to do. But with you, it’s like you saw right through him, eyes sharp and looking past the persona he’s built for himself for eons, all in a single glance.

It terrified him.

You somehow could read him as easily as a book and it scared him. You saw past his beauty and it scared him. You saw his insecurities in himself, the occasional doubt, and it makes him almost want to cry. You could easily use this ability to your advantage, take him down a notch, to ruin him in the Devildom, or to use him as your own benefit.

But you don’t.

Instead, you protect him with your life practically on the line, forgetting you are a lone human (aside from Solomon) in a realm of demons, protecting him from the lowlife that try and take advantage of him as the newly established Avatar of Lust.

You two were at Majolshi. You came with him often in the Devildom, acting like a guard dog in a way, and keeping him up to date with a latest Devildom fashion. After all, he’s trying to establish himself in the Devildom as an influencer.

“Hey, Asmo,” you called to him. He looked up from the rack of clothes he was filing through. “I’m gonna go to the register to check these out, okay? If you wanna get any more, just hand it to me, my treat.”

Asmo gave you a surprised look and then pouted. “Darling! I could easily pay for everything! You may be my attendant, but you don’t need to spoil me so much!”

“But I like spoiling you.” Your smile was sweeter than sweet, like saccharine, and it made his heart jump to his throat. It threw all other thoughts out the window and he nodded dumbly, accepting you paying for him.

He looked back at the rack and felt his cheeks heat up, a dumb smile on his face. He was acting as if he were a Highschool teen that had a crush. He couldn’t help but silently giggle to himself as he thought of it, considering it so silly. But he didn’t mind it… He’s always been a sucker for romances. And adding you to the mix only made it worse.

Then suddenly he felt arms wrap around his waist. He froze.

The thing about Asmo is that he knew your touch like the back of his hand. Your touch was soft, warm, any imperfections in your hands he has memorized, practically engraved into his skin.

This was not your touch.

It was cold. Rough. Unfamiliar.

It made him sick.

“Hey there,” the feeling of disgusting hot breath fanned on his beautiful skin, causing his nose to curl in disgust. “You’re the Avatar of Lust, right? Asmodeus? Yknow, I don’t understand how the Celestial Realm could get rid of a prize like you.”

Asmo clenched his fists, ready to toss this disgusting filth into a wall and break all of their limb.

“Oh well, more for us here in the Devildom, right?”

“Hey!”

The sound of your voice was like hearing a heroine arrive in a moment of bleakness. Asmo perked up but immediately felt his heart drop when you stopped over to him and the stranger, anger present on your face. You couldn’t possibly be thinking of attacking the demon, could you? As a human? You’d surely die! Or- Or-

You punched the demon square in the jaw, throwing them into the ground and immediately tackling them. Asmo could only gasp as you used all your strength inside your body to practically tear this demon apart with your bare hands, gritting your teeth and cursing under your breath. To others, you’d look like an unhinged animal, but to him, you couldn’t he anymore beautiful.

A worker came over and ripped you off of the demon, ushering you two to leave with your paid for items in hand.

You were panting as you and Asmo stood there in the street. Asmo was silent as you looked him over.

“You okay?” You asked, grabbing his hand. Your knuckles were cut open and bloody. He felt his heart break seeing your beautiful skin all torn.

“I should be asking you that…” He mumbled, grabbing your hand with a frown. “You didn’t need to do that for me, I’m not fragile…”

“I know this,” you said quickly, but then blushed a little and rubbed the back of your neck with a sheepish smile. “I just want to protect you! Cause I’m your attendant!”

“But you’re also human.” He whispered, eyes flickering to the people walking up and down the street.

“I know. But that won’t stop me from doing everything I can to protect you.”

Asmo felt his heart skip a beat at your words, his face further heating up, and he squealed quietly and pulled you into a hug, nuzzling his face into your hair as you chuckle.

He loves you. He adores you. He loves you so, so much.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

“Lamb, I don’t understand why you want to do this for me. As much as I love and appreciate it, I can do my makeup on my own!” Asmo pouted at you as you applied his foundation, softly dabbing the sponge across his face.

You only smile and pick up the brush to apply the red blush on his cheeks. “I know this but I like doing it anyways.”

It had been only a month ago when he asked you to do his makeup once, opting to know how you’d do his makeup and to brag to his brothers at how close the two of you were. But something changed the day you did his makeup. The way you would stop for a moment, staring directly into his eyes. It wasn’t like you were under his hypnosis or influence, he found that you were immune to it, but somehow you acted as if you were completely enamored by him.

And you were.

Even now, you caressed his cheek and would glance into his eyes, so close to him but not close enough. It started to make his heart race, his cheeks burst with color, and hands grow sweaty. It was strange for the Avatar of Lust to act so smitten with a mere human, yet here he was, completely floored for you.

You applied the blush to his cheeks, the bristles tickling his skin and he giggles lightly, unable to keep still in his seat.

“You’re so cute.” He said, wanting badly to just kiss your face, to hold it in his hands, but he had to keep himself still, lest you accidentally apply the blush to his forehead.

You said nothing, grabbing the lipstick, and grabbing his chin gently, as if he were a doll. This gave him a chance to look directly into your own eyes.

He hated it when you applied his lipstick, it forced him to look into those gorgeous eyes of yours and it made him fall even harder than he did previously. He swallowed as you gently moved the lipstick across his bottom lip first, glancing up at him and the way he stared back at you. Your smile only worsened the pounding in his chest. Was the air always this thick?

As you applied to the top lip, he could feel himself drown in the pools of your eyes, like you had his power instead. And the more he stared, the more he didn’t mind being completely miffed by you, being under your control. And it’s even more knowing that as much as he worships you, practically on the verge of kissing your feet, you worshipped him just as much in a way that makes him just want to hold you for eternity.

“Asmo?” Your voice called to him, already done. Though, you didn’t need to do much to enhance his beauty.

“Y-Yes?” He cursed himself for sounding so nervous, demanding confidence. It was so strange how he would become so flustered when it should be the other way around!

“You’re so beautiful…”

He’s heard his many time from others, but from you, it meant more.

To you, the word beauty described his whole being. His soul. His body. His mind. All completely beautiful to you, going past beauty and turning it into something more, something he couldn’t describe. The love in your eyes went beyond his own, somehow, going beyond your years.

All adoring him.

He finds himself tearing up, grasping desperately at your hand tightly, swallowing his spit to hydrate his drying throat.

“I love you.”

Lust was never suppose to love, was it? At least, that’s what he’s heard, as an Angel. Lust was selfish, demanding, carnal and uncaring, but you’ve shown him that it is more than what it was painted. There was a need there, a desire, a craving, an itch you cannot quite scratch. All of it filled him with Love.

You leaned in forward to him, pressing your forehead gently on his, your breath fanning against his lips. He holds your face in his hands, keeping you there in front of him, never taking his eyes off of you.

He begins to realize that Solomon sees this face everyday. To wake up to you everyday.

And he envy’s Solomon. What a lucky man…

“I love you too Asmodeus.”

And it sealed it for him.

He will never crave another body of a demon, human, nor angel as much as he craves you. No one could even compare. All he sees is you.

───────────────

Beelzebub is indifferent towards you, at first he believed he was. All that was on his mind was hunger, which irritated him. He loves food, don’t get him wrong, but the agonizing gnawing that comes with Gluttony is both painful and a nuisance. Though, he’s learned to just deal with it now, given that it’s his sin.

Though his brothers don’t seem to understand when he says he’s hungry. They don’t seem to understand the anger that comes with his Gluttony that claws its way in his stomach. It makes him think of everyone as meat, which scares him a little.

“Hey Beel, is something the matter?” Belphie had asked, albeit sleepily.

It was one afternoon at RAD and Beelzebub was bouncing his knee, gripping his stomach as if he were in pain, and biting his inner lip, trying to make the time go by faster. He looked to his twin.

“I’m hungry.”

Belphie was probably the only one who could understand the pain, if only for a little bit. Though, he wouldn’t understand the entirety, he understood more than the others. He pat Beel on the back to attempt to comfort him, but it didn’t do much.

“Lunch is in a few minutes, big guy, don’t worry.” Belphie said with a sympathetic smile.

Beel tried to smile back but it turned into a grimace as his stomach knotted, almost making him think it was eating itself. Then suddenly, you burst in the room, the professor, long since having stopped the lesson and leaving a few minutes of free time, jumped up at the sudden noise.

You matched over to Beel and opened your backpack, throwing out a bunch of snacks on the table of various Devildom chips and chocolates, a few being your favorites. You were sweating like you were running down the hall at full speed, he could hear your heartbeat pounding.

“Here you go Beel.” You huffed and puffed. You sighed and wiped your forehead. “Sorry! I felt that you were hungry so I ran all the way here when my class was wrapping up the lesson.”

“You… Felt I was hungry?” Beel tilted his head at you, eyeing the various treats and his mouth watered.

“Yeah! It’s like a sixth sense. Or maybe… An either sense? I have various senses for all of your brothers. Like now, I feel like Satan is about to flip his lid.” You giggled a little bit, rubbing the back of your neck.

Beel’s heart skipped a beat. “Thank you…” he whispered with a soft smile on his lips, opening up a bag of chips and eating it, he paused when you settled your hand on his head.

“Make sure to eat slowly, okay? I know it’s hard, but savoring it will make the time pass by faster for lunch, okay?”

He nodded mindlessly to you gentle smile, you give Belphie the same headpat, ruffling his already messy hair a bit. He grunted and poured a little but it made you smile even wider, rushing out the room to presumably stop Satan from breaking one of the tables in the classroom again.

Beel stared down at the table filled with snacks, his stomach had stopped its growling, the only sound that filled his ears was the sound of his own heartbeat picking up tempo. Belphie looked to his twin, seemingly sensing what he was feeling.

“You still hungry Beel?”

“Yes…” He gingerly took a chip and ate it slowly, savoring it, like you said. A small smile made its way to his lips. “But not as much anymore.”

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

It’s no secret that you take care of Beelzebub a lot, no secret to his brothers that you have snacks on deck, and it’s no secret that whenever you’re around, his hunger seems to be kind to him and calm down after eating away at him. You’re also soft, which fits the dilemma for him as a soft giant. He towers over his brothers, minus Lucifer, who is only an inch shorter than him (though, he likes to smile at the thought, occasional ideas of holding stuff up to where Lucifer can’t reach, but the last time he did it, he was smacked on the head). Depending on your height, he’s relatively taller than you. But you always have had a hold on him in many ways that he didn’t realize.

It was one night where you and Beel were sitting together in the spare room, a room which you said was “familiar to you,” a similar feeling the brothers all had to the room. Even Belphie, who would sleep there more often than not.

The TV went on while the two of you watched a movie, a random movie that Beel had no opinion to it, just the fact it was new. You seemed to enjoy it, so he kept watching it with you. But he was more focused on the mass amount of popcorn in front of him, all in a huge bowl. He munched away at it, already, half of it was gone. You were next to him.

You then suddenly leaned in closer to him, leaning your head on his shoulder, Beel looked at you for a moment and swallowed the popcorn in his mouth. He was hungry still but grabbed a bit of popcorn and held it up to your lips. You mindlessly ate it, not really paying attention to anything other than the movie, or were just in your own world.

Beel smiled and continued to feed you, completely ignoring his own hunger, finding satisfaction in seeing you eat. It was strange, really. He couldn’t explain it. Every time you ate, he would stare, watching you chew and smile a little at the taste of the food, or look blissfully happy whenever you had something you really enjoyed, like the chocolates from Madam Scream’s or their pudding.

That’s when he stopped, realizing that the half filled bowl started to grow smaller, had he been feeding you all this time? You seemed to notice when your mouth finally realized it needed water.

“Thanks for the popcorn, Beel.” You laughed a little pausing the movie. His face grew a little pink.

“Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it. Thank you.”

Beel smiled a little and proceeded to pull you in closer, your back against his chest, his face buried in the side of your neck, holding you close. He wasn’t sure what to do with this feeling burning inside his chest, smelling the scent of your skin. Being near you felt right. The hunger was silenced and he felt full around you, but he couldn’t help but want more of you. You didn’t seem to mind his hold on you, opting to lean back against him and watch the movie, which was nearing its end, but there was no doubt he would continue to hold you even after the movie.

“You want any more popcorn?”

Surprisingly he shook his head and huffed, tightening his grip around you. Not enough to hurt you given his size, just firmly enough to where you can’t move a whole lot.

“Something wrong Beel?“ You ask. Though you know he’s perfectly fine, you just have to be sure. He’s a strong and loving giant, he can be a bit sensitive.

“Mhm. Just wanna hold you…”

You reach your hand up to put your hand to his hair, tilting your head to the side and kissing the side of his head. His arms tightened again, a smile on his face.

He never felt this way before, this much love all for one person. He loves his family and you being apart of it makes it even better. He doesn’t even believe he knows a world where you aren’t apart of it, nor does he ever want to experience it. He doesn’t want to imagine a world where you aren’t in his arms like this, where he doesn’t feed you or eat meals with him and his brothers.

“I love you, MC.”

He blurts it out without even realizing it until he says it, the word love is so sweet on his tongue. He hears you laugh a little. He can feel your heartbeat close to his ear.

“I love you too Beelz.”

After all he’s been through, he never thought he deserved a moment of peace after what he’s lost, but he’s learning to forgive himself. All because of you.

───────────────

Belphie is spoiled. Everyone in the Devildom knows this and everyone in the Celestial realm knows this. Given that he’s the youngest, he’s able to get away with almost anything. Lucifers punishments are akin to a slap on the wrist when it comes to his pranks. Mammon also spoils him rotten, mainly with “mysterious” gifts of soft blankets and pillows and then randomly asking Belphie about them, if he liked them, and trying to justify that is wasn’t him because; “why would I buy somethin’ like that when I can spend it on somethin’ I’d want!” But Belphie isn’t stupid and knows it’s him, but he stops asking if it’s him to keep him quiet so he can nap.

But he’s spoiled brat tendencies never really come out, unless it’s with you.

He pouts and gives you the silent treatment whenever you say you can’t come to the HOL, but quickly gives it up because that takes too much energy when he could spend it talking to you.

He’s also a brat when he comes over to you whenever you are at the HOL and flops himself practically on top of you, smothering you with his body weight, and falling asleep without a care in the world. He’ll only care if you try and get up.

He never was really like this with you, he was mainly indifferent towards you, but after the events of finding out you’re a human and slowly getting closer to you after all that’s happened, he’s was starting to get attached to you, especially when you started cuddling him.

The first time it happened, you had shown up to the HOL to take care of Levi and Asmo fighting this time around, which was surprising since they usually barely even registered one another. It was something about Levi being a shut in and what not, but either way, you took care of it.

You had sat down on the couch after it all, sighing, deciding that maybe you should just pass out from all the running around you had to do. You were an attendant, sure, but you were also a human too, energy tends to deplete faster than you expect.

Belphie suddenly appeared, pillow in arm, eyes all droopy. He’s sleepy, as far as you can tell, but he also looks a bit bitter.

“Move…” He muttered out.

“Pardon?”

“I said move.” He was sounding like a grumpy five year old with how he was acting, a five year old that didn’t have their nap yet.

You snicker at the thought, which made him pout further. You groan. “Just lay your head on my lap if you’re that tired.”

This made him feel wide awake. His eyes widen a fraction. He never really thought about laying his head on your lap. He mainly only ever laid his head on the laps of his brothers, well, mostly by force, unless it’s Beel. Beel is more than happy to let his twin sleep near him. But then there’s you.

Belphie thought for a moment and then sat down on the couch near you, leaning down to put his head in your lap. You sigh and lean your head back again against the cushions of the couch, hearing the crackle of the fire in the living room.

He was stiff until you started running your fingers through his hair and he immediately relaxed, his eyes growing heavy again.

It was strange.

For a moment it felt like time stilled, like all else had disappeared and it left just the two of you.

He’s never felt more warm in the Devildom before when it feel so cold all around him, so unnatural.

But you somehow make his life feel more normal, more like home. He still felt bitter, bitter towards you, mainly being human, he sometimes wishes you were a demon, but the more he thought about the more he never saw you as a demon in the first place. You are far too trusting, empathetic and considerate and a bit of a smart ass while making a few dumb decisions here and there. So perfectly human.

Was this how Lilith felt when she met her human?

Belphie couldn’t help but feel so bittersweet while laying there, head in your lap, hand against your thigh, letting you run your fingers through his hair gently, partly caressing his face.

He shut his eyes and yawned. His yawn affected you, the two of you growing sleepy together. He could feel it too, your drowsiness. His hand inched closer to yours, grabbing it gently, his pointer and middle finger encircling your own lazily.

Belphie smiled and closed his eyes, quickly drifting off into a quiet dream, a dream where it’s just you and him just together. No words needed.

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Belphie learned he could enter dreams the night he went into yours by accident.

It was an accident, truly. He didn’t mean to enter it. The two of you were just in the attic space, laying on the plush bed with the hundreds of pillows and blankets, sleeping the day away, when he fell asleep.

His dream, rather your dream, was dark. Just pitch black. It was like being in a silent, dark room, searching for a light, but somehow you could see yourself.

Belphie moved forward, though slowly, like moving through tar. He stopped when he heard light gasping, choking.

He only turned a fraction to his left to see it. A figure, closely resembling himself, holding you by one hand, tightly gripping your throat. Veins pulsed and bulged beneath your skin, even he could feel his face throbbing as the breath escaped you.

Belphie watched in horror.

His heart was racing. His stomach at the pits of whatever darkness was beneath his feet. Hands shaking and body strangely cold.

He hated that look on your face, the tears that streamed down your cheeks, how utterly helpless you looked.

You were his attendant, always so brave in his eyes. Not even wavering against Lucifer’s rage, not once.

And yet you were helpless against this strange, black silhouette that held his image, foggy yet so clear.

Belphie charged at his shadow self and grabbed it, tossing it to the side, forcing it away with whatever sheer will he could muster. It clawed, it snarled like an animal, it cursed and yelled but Belphie shut her ears to the nonsense it was sprouting with clenched fists.

He would never do that to you.

But…

He looked down at you, your gasping form, writhing in agony.

He felt like this happened before.

But why?

He wouldn’t hurt you, he would never hurt you! You loved him, his brothers, Beel! You took care of them, you adored them, you spoiled them rotten, especially him. Your care was gentle as your love was passionate. Why would he ever want to hurt you??

You looked up, fear flashing across your face.

Please… Don’t look at him like that…

Belphie shook himself from the dream, waking up with his head on your chest and body in between your legs. You were somehow still asleep, but with a look of discomfort.

Belphie grabbed your hand, firmly, and sniffled against your shirt, shutting his eyes tightly.

He wanted to give you a good dream, you deserved to have that, at the very least. You, of all people, do not deserve to be tortured senselessly for no reason.

As he rubbed your knuckles with his thumb, mostly to calm himself as he listened to your heartbeat growing steady, he heard you sigh and that discomfort left your face, relaxing into a smile.

Belphie took this moment to let his lower lip quiver and a small cry left his lips and a little sniffle. He let go of your hand.

He needed to go. There’s no way he could be around you if… If there was a chance he ever hurt you.

As he moved, you shifted.

“Belphie?”

He jumped when he heard you call his name, wiping his eyes in a hurried manner.

“You saw, didn’t you?”

It wasn’t a known secret you still had nightmares about that day, albeit rarely. Sometimes it just happens whenever your brain decides to torment you. And these were one of those days. And it was even worse it was with Belphie who really ended up being in your dream, saving you from himself.

His nod only confirmed it, which made your heart break. You sighed and reached for his hand and, just as he grabbed yours, held it firmly.

“…do you really think I’d do that to you…?”

“No. Not now. But would you have when you found out I was human?”

“…I don’t think so? I don’t know.. it was happening so fast then, I don’t see why I would just- just do that. I was a little angry that you lied to me, mostly, but I wouldn’t have-“

“Killed me?”

The word made him flinch. Human mortality was no secret. It never bothered him until now, he never thought about it until now, of how many times you put your life in danger for the sake of his brothers when your life could easily be snuffed out in a blink.

This is how Lilith felt, isn’t it?

“Belphie,” you brought him out of his thoughts. “You guys scare me sometimes, but I know that you won’t actually kill me.”

There’s something that lingers in your eyes that he can’t place. A knowing. You bring your free hand to his cheek and caress it.

“I love you, you know this Belphie.”

Belphie nods with a little ‘mhm’. He feels so pathetic, he should be comforting you, not acting like a little kid. He takes his hand away from you and kneels down in front of you, wrapping his arms around your midsection and burying face in your stomach.

“I’d do anything for you, you know,” he said, a little muffled by the fabric. “You’re everything to us, to me. I’ll throw the whole Devildom upside down if you want me to.”

You chuckle a little. “And not taking a break to sleep?”

“I’d give up sleeping forever if you wanted me to. Id do it if that would make you happy.”

“Woah, don’t need to go that far. I don’t want to torment you!”

“Stop making fun of me, I’m seriously.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. You’re just so cute.”

Belphie blushed and huffed as you continued to lightly chuckle at his words.

“I’m serious. I would do anything you wanted me to. Id cut off my own hands before touching you in a way that hurts you, MC. Just ask me to and Id do it.”

You sigh, running your fingers through his hair, “I know Belphie, and it won’t come to that. I trust you. Do you trust me?”

“Trust you for what?”

“Trust me to believe in you? In your ability to keep me safe?”

He was silent for a moment, then he nodded. “I trust you.”

“Then there’s no need for promises. Let’s just trust each other, okay? Promises can be forgotten.”

“Not for me, I’ll always remember to cut my hands off if you wanted.”

“Belphie.”

“Kidding.”

“I have a feeling you’re not.”

Belphie smiled into your shirt and giggled a little, letting you pet his hair.

Whatever that was in your dream, whether it was him or not, he’d be damned again to the deepest, darkest pits of the Devildom before ever hurting you or making you cry.

#obey me asmodeus #x reader #obey me mc #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #fluff #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me x mc #obey me x you #gender neutral reader #obey me nightbringer

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starillusion13 · 6 months

Note

omg Hi! Im not sure if you’re still accepting requests but if you still do… I would like to request an ot8 ateez x reader where they all leave her because of a misunderstanding and then they chase her back after but she doesn’t forgive/give in so easily ? Thank you love ❤️

Lost you forever

Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature

Warnings: crying, mention of death, poison, mentions of mafia activities like shooting and deals in mafia, misunderstanding, pregnancy(?) [plz tell me if I have missed something] oc doesn't forgive easily coz she is deeply hurt.

W.C: 5.3k (i was so into it sorry)

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

“I have found her.”

All the noise died down with just one sentence. The room is now pin drop silent with all the heads turned towards the same direction and eyes focused on one person. The one who has just entered through the main door and whose voice made everyone stop in their tracks.

The leader of the group with a blank expression, walks towards the said person and grabs the collar of the leather jacket, eyes burning with his creased forehead but somewhere he wants to believe the words he has just heard.

“You realize what you are speaking right, Mingi?”

Nodding his head, he stares right back, “Absolutely.”

“Are you sure that’s her? Maybe, you might have mistaken someone else.”

Closing his eyes for a second, he sighs, “I have seen her with my own eyes, up so close to realize enough that it was her. Her sweet smile and those soft hands, everything is same.”

The one holding his collar loosen his grip and walks over to the table to get back his drink.

“Hongjoong, stop drinking.” The eldest scolds the leader before turning towards the other, “Then where is she and why didn’t you bring back her here? Where exactly did you see?”

“She was working at the café, down the Ross street. The target’s location was last seen in that café and when I reached there, he had already left and then when I heard that sweet voice asking if I need something?”

“did she see you?” The youngest asks him with curiosity filled in his eyes.

“No. I ordered a simple coffee just to see her longer and when she handed it over to me, I felt her soft and innocent hands touching my rough and ruthless ones. I was wearing a mask so she didn’t notice me but she was hiding her pain really well with her sweet smile.”

“But her eyes were telling something else.” Mingi turns towards Yeosang on hearing his response.

Everyone is feeling guilty that they are the reason you are working all alone there and having the pain inside you which your eyes reflect enough to let them know how you are feeling. They have been with you long enough to know every detail of your actions, to read your emotions from afar, to know if you are happy or to realize that you are hiding something then why. Why did they misunderstood you back then and left you all alone helpless?

“I want to see her. Take me there, just tell me which café is that exactly and I will be on my way there.”

“San, calm down. Take it slow. I know that you are eager to meet her like we all are but we can’t just go there like this. You know what we did back that day. I don’t think, she would want to see us again.”

If they had this much power in their hand to erase that day or to change the situation that occurred that day then they would have done long way back but now its impossible to do so. It’s been three years that they have left you but when their mission in this new country led them to cross your path again, they are not going to leave this chance out of their hand. Searching you for so long and not getting any sight of you has made their life a disaster. Hongjoong has been drinking a lot since he found out that he had done wrong with you and not a single member of his gang can control his vigorous nature but being the leader of the uprising mafia gang, he has to control his limits to not let the opposition know his weakness. Yunho is not better than him here, being the fighter of the group, he is overdoing and exhausting himself just because he can’t get you out of his mind and showing his anger on others. Well, Seonghwa needs to be calm here as being the eldest, he finds this as his responsibility to check if his members are doing okay and him being the second in command has to be with the leader most of the time. But the question is how can he just pretend that he doesn’t think about you, his thoughts are always storming inside his head which are revolving around how to get you back. San is restless, he is almost every time being out of the house doing illegal shits without even informing the leader and just messing up things, which sometimes almost bring them to face a hectic situation but thanks to Wooyoung who is always there to save him but what about himself. He is the one who would show his emotions up his sleeves but when it comes to get you back, he is lost in a void. He doesn’t even know whether to be angry, upset, mad or just forget about you. Forget about you? Is it even possible? Mingi is always out of the base, he has taken upon himself to look out for the targets and engaging with the spies all around to know the motives of other gangs and be prepared but one thing is always flashing to him, thoughts of you. Jongho has kept himself silent for most of the times, away from his members and just trying his way to find out where you are. Are you even alive? He is always there to bug Yeosang to find you in every corner of their hometown but you were nowhere to be found and once they had lost all hope of you being alive. Yeosang has taken the job of being hacker too seriously and that just to find you till the last cell of his data but everytime, he is just getting disappointed.

🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚

“Thank you for your order. Have a great night ahead.”

You smile sweetly towards the customer who just left the café and its almost nine at night so you should get prepared to leave for the night. You are always the last worker to leave on the busy scheduled day as you live just few houses away from here and the manager is too sweet to even let her guard accompany you to reach your house. She once requested you to do the extra night shifts on busy days as other workers live bit far away and you could be much helpful to her. She has this warm motherly aura and so you couldn’t reject her request.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry that you had to stay back late again. It’s Halloween season and you know how people are crowding over here.” Your manager having a guilty expression on her face approaches you.

“Oh no, it’s really fine with me. I can keep my mind off with some stuffs while working here so it’s not a big problem. I rather enjoy being here than staying at home and overthinking.”

“You are so sweet. You should take some leaves and rest for few days as I haven’t seen you taking leaves or going out with someone. Don’t waste your young age everytime working here. Have some enjoyment and refresh your mind.”

“Working here gives me the happiness. I don’t think being with someone can actually refresh my mind or rather haunt me…..Nevermind, you must go back as your son is waiting for you and after getting everything back to it’s place, I will hand over the keys to Mr.Lee.”

Nodding her head and waving at you, she rode back to her place leaving you and Mr. lee, who must be in the locker room getting his stuff and later waiting for you outside.

Arranging all the stuffs, it took twenty minutes as your other co-workers had almost done everything before leaving and the previous orders were simple so you didn’t have much to do. Picking up your bag from the counter, you give a final glance to the place to make a mental note if everything is fine. Satisfied with the result, you quickly went outside to see him already standing and waiting for the keys but he is looking impatient.

“Are you fine, Mr.Lee?”

“U-uh yeah…” sweats visibly lining the forehead and lips quivering. Why is he sweating in this cold night?

“If you need help, please do tell me.”

“Actually, I need to leave early… my daughter needs some help and she has just now called me so I think I cant go with you today.”

“Its fine with me. I can manage on my own, its just few steps and I will be home so don’t worry and leave. I hope your daughter is fine.”

He thanked you several times and left. Like always, your smile is still having that warmth even in this chilly night. Your hands rub your arms and you start walking towards your block. Everything is like usual until you start to feel someone is following you but waving it off as if it must be your fear of walking alone without him. Also, it’s Halloween and anything creepy can happen. Even the children’s pranks are creepier than ghosts. You quicken your steps, hands gripping the bag tightly.

You feel a hand on your shoulder and you almost had screamed when another hand pressed over your mouth, shutting you up and muffling your scream. Your eyes closed tight and hands trying to remove the palm from over your mouth.

“Y/N. Don’t be afraid, it’s me.”

You froze. Not due to the chilly wind just blew past you but because of the very familiar voice. Familiar? You don’t think it has that same familiarity like before. Every morning, this used to be the first voice you would listen while waking you up and engulfing you in a big bear hug. That’s past as now you are used to being wake up with your alarm or nightmares. Just a reminder, he is the part of causing that nightmare.

Parting your eyes, you can see the tall man standing in front of you. Looking down at you with a soft look on his face, teary eyes and hands slowly slip down from your mouth to your biceps to hold them firmly. The street is brightly lit due to the decorations for the occasion so everything is very clear for your eyes. You stare back at him and not knowing how to react as your body and mind is going against each other but you know a little part of your heart still beats for him, for them.

He is about to pull you in for a hug when you stop him with your hands pressed over his chest, preventing him from coming any closer.

“Y/N….”

“Stop it. You should not just hug randomly someone. You may know me but sorry I can’t really remember you.”

“Random? You are my angel. I want to hug you and say sorry for what I have done. Don’t pretend that you don’t know me, please tell me you have missed me equally.”

“Look, you must have mistaken me with someone else but I’m not her.”Pushing his hands off from you, “Even if I know your name doesn’t mean I know you, you are just like the rest of the customers in my daily life whose name I have to hear often. So it’s nothing special and as I don’t hear your name anymore maybe I would forget it forever.”

“Y/N!”

You make a ‘tsk’ sound on hearing him shout your name. Even if they pretend to be polite or gentle with you, they are the ruthless uprising mafia gang so what do you even expect less from them while controlling their aggression?

“This is you. Shout on me. Blame on me. but. Don’t show your kindness to me again. You have literally showed your true colors that day and look here we are. Standing face to face and you still shouting on me just like that day. You are still the same, Yunho.”

Hearing his name coming out of your mouth after three years is sending a wave of warmth to his heart. Atleast, you called him by his name even though your words are straight away piercing his heart like a sharp knife, you haven’t spoken to him like this ever but he knows he deserves it for leaving you that day.

A black SUV comes to a stop near to a side of you both. If it were any other time, you swear you would have got frightened but the raging veins with hatred towards him is not minding any danger surrounding you. You didn’t look at it’s direction but can hear several footsteps are nearing you. Why are you not scared? Is it because you are feeling safe in his presence? No, it’s just you don’t want to be saved or show your weakness, atleast in front of him.

“Doll.”

Don’t turn back. You are just imagining things. He can’t be hear even yunho is not here, right? You want to believe this but the presence behind you is too near you, his warm hands placed over your shoulder sending a jolt through your body. It may be warm but is lacking the warmth, you can only feel the coldness of feelings there. Turning around, you look into the eyes of Mingi, who just called you with the name he gave you on your first date with him.

Okay, so everyone is here. All the eyes are just looking at you, only you. If it was something back in those days then you would have become shy and hide behind Yunho and not look at them but this time, your daring eyes precisely staring back at them. Their eyes filled with regret meeting your eyes filled with hatred.

“Why are you all here?”

“For you.” Hongjoong replies quickly enough and this made you raise your brow.

The scene is like a deja-vu, very similar to the last time you had seen them. Them circling you under the night sky and you are the centre of the situation but that time, they had that rage in their eyes for blaming you and hoping you to vanish from their eyesight but this time, they have the fear…of losing you again.

“it’s not funny. If you all are going to have some Halloween pranks on people then go somewhere else, don’t waste my time.”

“It’s really not funny and also not a prank. We are really here for you.”Hongjoong said calmly.

“And? You got to see me. You needed to know if I’m alive or not and now you might kill me as I already know a lot of your things and it’s dangerous for you all to keep me alive. Go ahead, shoot me.”

“Y/n, are you insane? How can you think like this that we will shoot you?”

“San, it’s very obvious from the way you were pointing the gun to my forehead with fire in your eyes.” You point to the middle of your forehead with two fingers. They would have found your acts childish but your tone is too harsh for their ears, making it obvious how much hatred you have towards them.

The said man fidgeting his fingers, looking down and a single tear escapes his eyes. The tear of losing you. You are so near to him, just few feet away where he can run to you and hug you tightly and pull you in for a kiss yet so far away because of the way, your eyes glaring at him.

Mingi moves aside when Hongjoong comes in front of you, “Princess-“

“Don’t call me that when you don’t know how to treat one. I’m not your princess. Well, I’m no one to you.”

No one to him and this word burns his heart. Not only his but others too. Still he tried to speak to you.

“Whatever happened that day, we are really guilty for that. We are extremely sorry to treat you that way. I don’t know what happened to me and I put the blame on you, thinking it was your plan, everything I had lost that day was because of me and I lost you but trust me, each day I have spent regretting for this. Please forgive me. Please.”

He is no more holding back his tears, being a leader is a great responsibility and controlling his emotions in every situation is the major part but you were always there with him by his side where he could express himself, to show his vulnerable self to you but this time instead of comforting him, you are mocking back at him.

“Are you crying because of regret or losing your mission that day? I’m sure it’s about the shitty mission or what else-”

Yunho turns you around harshly and this time you can see his flaming eyes, “Are you making fun of him? What happened to you really? You have totally changed. This is not Y/N, we knew back then.”

“Exactly, this is not your Y/N anymore. This is me. An orphan who lives alone in this block and works by the café down the street. Also, not nice to meet any of you.”

You give him a blank expression. His grip on you tightens and you just stare at the hold, hissing but not telling him to leave you. Why? Because you want to feel him. No. You want to see how much he can lose control on you and the physical pain is nothing compared to the mental pain, you have gone through the years.

“Please come back to us. We are here to take you back, to your home, our home.”

Seonghwa. Please don’t speak like that. He is a siren for this because even if you want to hate him, his voice is always as if lurking you to trust him, his words which are still soothing to your ears, remembering those feather kisses. No. They are pinching you like a thorn just like your words are doing to his heart.

“There is nothing called ours. My place is here and nowhere else. I guess you don’t know the meaning of a home. Home is somewhere you can feel warmth and comfort, a forgiving atmosphere to erase your pain into happiness. But the place you are mentioning is a prison to me, hearing the name suffocates me, the memories haunt me. Atleast, here, I’m okay by myself, far away from you all but still nothing is a home to me.”

“Why are you saying like this? Please don’t push us away when we just got you back.”

“So? I should forgive you all and get back to you. Never. This is not happening ever.”

You walk towards him, his ears perk up hearing your heels nearing him, Yunho has left his grip on you but his hands aching to touch you again. The memories of you both spending nights together with warm skin against skin, hushed promises surrounded by the burning love but now even if your skin is warm, the touch was cold with numb feelings.

You pull the strap of Seonghwa’s jacket and other hand block his hand which he was about to raise and swiftly pull the gun out, pointing it towards his forehead. Others come to a warned position.

“If I shoot you here and wait enough to bleed you to death.” You turn to look back at them, their surprise faces looking back at you but no one daring to step forward. “Then if I say, please forgive me. Will it be worthy?”

“But…but we didn’t hurt you. We…we just….” San doesn’t know how to complete his sentence. He is lost within his own words. Seeing you after years, your coldness towards them, even pointing gun towards one of their member and remembering how you and him were in the same position last time causing his hands shake. So ironic for a mafia member. No matter how strong they are, how ruthless they can be but when it comes to you, you are their weakness.

“It’s not always hurting someone physically. Their way of act towards you speaks volume and the words you told me while pointing the gun is way more painful than if you would have actually shoot me.” Turning, towards Seonghwa, “You have already killed me that day. I am dead for you.”

“Baby, please don’t say like this.”

“How many times do I need to tell you that I’m nothing to you all? Stop calling me names.”

Wooyoung’s eyes go wide on hearing your shout. He is so much taken aback by your outburst that he is almost looking helpless towards Mingi standing near him.

“I’m sorry…I mean…please don’t say like this. You are everything to me, to us. You don’t know how messed up we were when we left you. I’m so sorry to leave you but please atleast lets forget about that incident and please come back to us.” Wooyoung stutters but not again using the endearment.

Mingi chirps in, “Human can may make mistakes. Whatever happened that day, we know it was not your fault, it was a mistake and we really forgive you for that. I’m sorry for being harsh on you.”

“Yes. We are really guilty. We should have listened to you but rather we blamed you on the spot and said such harsh words which even if I want to take back, I can’t. I didn’t let you to explain but ended up on a conclusion.” Wooyoung ends the sentence with tears spilling from his eyes silently.

Do you forgive them? Yes. but Why? They are still telling you it was your mistake. You cant forgive them so. No.

“So you still think that it happened because of my mistake? It was an accident?”

“Y/n…”

“Stop it, Yunho. Don’t speak a single word. I’m getting annoyed with you.”

Your steps come to a stop in front of Wooyoung whose eyes are shining to get you so close to him. He raises his hands but got yanked away by you. Maintaining a straight eye contact with him, you grab his collar.

“look at me and say that it was my mistake. It all happened because of me.”

He remained silent. He parts his lips but nothing coming out and this is making you impatient.

“Tell me!”

Hot tears streaming down your eyes. Still your body is not getting enough warmth and craving for it during the cold night in that lonely street. Even if you are with all of them still you are feeling alone. Your vision is getting blurred but you roughly rubbed your eyes with the sleeves of the shrug. Your breathings are getting heavy and you are losing control.

The youngest pulls away Wooyoung from your hold and holds your red hands in his grip which are shaking due to the tight fist.

“Please, calm down. It’s me Jongho. It’s not your fault. No one is blaming you. Take deep breathes and calm down.”

He knows that you are hyperventilating and he still knows how your body is reacting and you hate this. You harshly pull your hands away from his hold.

“Don’t touch me. My body aches when I remember how I let you monsters to touch me, everywhere, every day. I’m feeling so ashamed of myself. Don’t make me regret more. I hate the fact how you still know this about my body and am beyond surprised that you still remember me. Oh wait, you have to remember every detail of your enemy before plotting a nice plan and attacking them, right? And today is the perfect day.”

“You are not my enemy. You are my-“

“Stop. Don’t complete that sentence, Jongho.”

“Don’t speak to him like that, he was not even there during the whole mission, he was in for a quick need for back-end support for Yeosang.”Mingi says in a moderate tone.

“But was there long enough to blame me.”

Hongjoong places a firm hand on Mingi’s shoulder, “No one is blaming you. It was an accident and you didn’t know what to do there.”

“I know that whatever you did was to save yourself and I’m glad that you are fine.”

You stare at Hongjoong for a few moments and then burst out laughing like a maniac. Any other person would have found you weird and commented that you have gone mad. Even they would have made fun of you and teased you that how foolish you looked like while laughing like this.

Frustrated groans and your hands raising to your scalp and you mess your hairs. You are totally acting like a drunk person.

“hongoong, did you hear what he just said? Did you hear everyone? He said that I did that to save me. Huh. To. Save. Me.”

You skip steps towards yeosang and slap him, “You think I have killed Mr. Kim to save myself?”

“Y/n!”

You could barely hear Seonghwa and Yunho’s shout when you grabbed Yeosang’s biceps and shake him. He is shocked not just because you have slapped him but seeing you losing your mind like this and having no control over your actions and he is still thinking that something like this might have happened which cause you to kill Mr.Kim.

“Tell me Yeosang. You think I did it for myself? Tell me.”

Nothing he said in reply, just stared right back at you, the only thought running through his mind is to hug you and say that he won’t be leaving you again. He would protect you from the whole world. His daily searching to get your location was always in vain and he still can’t believe his eyes that you are standing in front of him but your eyes showing the amount of hatred in you for him. a helpless cry audible to his ears to which he was deaf during last time.

“So, you do think it is.”

You take a few steps back, staring back at each of them. San tried to come near you but Yeosang stopped him and shook his head.

“I…I did it…I killed him…It was not an accident.” You look up to the sky and smile to yourself, “I did it to save my family. I shoot him to save you all from his evil planning. You all were my family and I tried my best to face him, my hands were shaking, head was spinning. I couldn’t place the actions and words right in place but I knew I had to do it to save you all.”

“save us?” Hongjoong asks you in surprise.

You chuckle sadly, “Your beloved dad had only invited you to the party so that he could destroy you and your gang. He realized that you are not his own son and Jungwoo is his real son so to give him all the power, it was a better option to erase you from the path. I got to know this because Jungwoo told me and he didn’t want to support his dad in this way and somehow mr.Kim tried to kill me when he heard that I wont let you join the party.”

“That’s why…that’s why…you were whining to spend time with us and cancel the schedule.”

You nod on Jongho’s statement.

“I didn’t know how to stop you so before I could come up with a plan, you were already in your way to catch your target at the party held by Mr.Kim. And…and…when I tried to follow you all, he caught me and poisoned me.”

“Why did he poison you?” Wooyoung almost shout hearing this.

“He wanted to see you all going down first seeing me die and then it would be fun to end you. He really succeeded here.”

“What do you mean?” Yunho asks you slowly. You glance towards him but nod a bit.

Picking up your bag which is lying on the floor because of the previous commotion, you look down and tears flowing continuously, “even when I was poisoned, I escaped from the room and when I reached the scene, you were already in the middle of the bloody scene with your target. He was going to leave the place and would leave you all dying in the bomb blast and that’s how I thought it was best to kill him.”

“You didn’t tell that you were poisoned, we thought you were acting of feeling sick.” Even though Seonghwa confessed what he did feel right back then still he is feeling guilty towards you. You stare right back into his eyes.

“When I shot him in front of you all, Hongjoong snatched the gun from me and you harshly pulled me towards the exit and then it went on with you all blaming me.” You cast a glance towards San, “you pointed the gun at me and threatened me to kill if I don’t spill whose spy I was. You even doubted me with Jungwoo that we were cheating behind you and it was our plan to destroy you.”

Huh. Such cheap thought they had. They all blamed you and called such names and even threatened to kill you. It was not enough that they even insulted you in front of everyone present in the party even tried to prove your imaginary relation with Jungwoo.

“I’m sorry…”

“Mingi. Say sorry to Y/N who was trying to explain everything to you all, who was enduring the pain of spreading poison in her body and was still trying to protect you. Go hug her and pull towards you and say everything is okay, whose hands were shaking because she never killed anyone in her life before despite you all trained her in every field for her self-defence. Go and listen to her and ask her. Are you fine?”

He can’t match your eyes so he looks down regretting his every move, you throw a dirty look at him yet somewhere your eyes showing a little bit of sympathy. Your body still reacting to their touch and wanting to run to their embrace making you hate yourself.

“You can’t go. She is dead. Your Y/N is dead. Congratulations, you have killed her that day. You have killed a new life with her as well. She didn’t even get to know who her father is. Mission completed Boss.”

You stare straight and boldly towards Hongjoong.

“Her? Father? What are you saying?” Yeosang is impatient on hearing such things from you. He is confused just like the others and their heart is racing whereas yours is calm but painfully beating.

“I have lost my first baby and one of you lost the honour of being the father for the first time. It was too late when I woke up in the hospital, the poison had already been spread too much. I don’t know how I am still alive but maybe atleast Jungwoo didn’t leave my side.”

It was a big storm for them. As if the ground disappeared from underneath their feet. You were pregnant and they were unaware of it. If only they had agreed with your warnings, then they would have been having a happy family time with you and their baby together. No matter whose baby she was, she would have been theirs, they all would have given their fatherly love to her.

Without saying any more word, you begin to walk towards your way and didn’t even look back for the last time towards them.

“Y/N…”You heard wooyoung calls you from behind and they might follow you.

Still facing your back towards them, you speak slowly but audible enough for them, “Don’t follow me or come to find me again. You have left me that day, helplessly crying in the garden. Don’t expect me to forgive you and go back to you again.”

You walk away, far away from them where your silhouette getting lost in the painful dark but they know atleast you are safe and alive beyond that darkness. Their eyes follow the last bit of your presence.

They won’t be giving up on you like this. They will get you back someday but they also know that they have lost a part of you forever.

“I love you but I have lost you.”

PART 2

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tarjapearce · 11 months

Text

Cast Away

Warning: ANGST, Emotional discomfort, mentions of miscarriage, controlled substance use, not a happy ending. So sorry for this in advance :<

"LYLA? you copy?" Jess spoke through the intercom as she stared at your holographic projection on her watch.

"Anomaly suspect identified, she's... buying tea?" Confusion was evident in the AI's voice as she pinpointed your exact location. "Huh, thought she was dangerous."

"We don't know that yet, she could ambush us at any-"

"She's coming your way!"

Jess' aracnid senses tingled as you approached, revving her motorbike she came straight at you, stopping a few meters away from your civilian looking self.

"We can do this the good way or the bad way" Her brown eyes narrowed but you just sighed and put your packaged drink down and held your hands up to her.

"L-Let's calm down, shall we?" You stepped closer but she just revved the engine again, suspicion rising and it made you stop walking. The hairs of your back stood as your senses tingled weakly, contrary to Jessica's.

"Please, I... just wanna talk, ok? I just wanna go home."

"LYLA" Jess spoke as the AI materialized and ran a scan through you.

"Her vitals are normal, heartbeats a bit wild, but no signs of unusual brain activity that dictates irregular behavior."

You glitched and slumped to the floor in pain. Then, you curled your knees closer and your arms around them to create a little space for you. Eyes seizing the woman in red , but stopped as her round belly came in sight. Your hands held tightly and soon your eyes tore themselves from her.

"Brain activity detected, serotonin levels just dropped." Lyla spoke through the intercomand Jess frowned again as you glitched once more with a whimper.

"She seems in distress, Jessica." Lyla kept speaking as the spider woman just looked at you, unsure on how to proceed. Anomalies were usually feisty, a menace, dangerous. But you, were the odd out. You just curled into a ball and sulked.

She exhaled tiredly and turned the motorbike off. Her tingling had stopped the moment Lyla gave a diagnose on your biometrics, but still kept her distance. She however, tapped some instructions before looking at you.

"I'll be there soon." Miguel spoke through her intercom. Jess' eyes were on you again and she crossed her arms above her belly, waiting.

"How far are you?" You broke the silence first.

"Six months to go."

You nodded giving her a weak smile.

"That's a beautiful baby bump."

"Thanks." she spoke curtly, but that didn't stop you from talking.

"Baby girl or boy?"

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion, but softened at the way your eyes looked at her grown belly. A sight she had seen before in her universe, a sight that only soon to be mothers gave her with awe, but yours were pained.

"I want it to be surprise."

You nodded as tears prickled the corner of your eyes.

"Universe 413 has the best supplements for pregnancy , or so I could... check." You spoke as you grabbed a small paper cup from the forgotten package and sipped it to warm yourself. The weather in universe 413 was cold, despite the blazing sun standing proud in the background.

"Might look into it. How did you end up here?"

"That's what I wanna know. I was about to meet my husband for a celebration... and I was just sucked in here. Fell on a pool, had to steal someone clothes and... Im just trying to warm up and go home." You rubbed your eyes to. prevent more tears to pile up.

"Ever since I got here I've been glitching nonstop and my powers are even more messed up. It's scary and confusing."

"Wait, how long have you been here?"

"Just a couple of days, but it feels forever."

As you finished your tea a new portal opened up, revealing a tall figure materializing before you. You were immediately locked up in what it seemed a electric-crystal like, custom made jail.

"Wha-"

"Easy there... We're taking you home." Jess spoke as she hopped on her bike once more and disappeared in the portal before giving a last glance your way.

"I'll get it from here." The sudden male and familiar noise sent chills down your spine. Tears flooded your already glossed eyes as the masked figure stared at you. His hand clenched upon the first tear rolling down.

--------

In the blink of an eye you were already in a place that made so many memories to flood in, most of them bittersweet.

"Lyla, access to this area is denied temporarily." Miguel spoke, his back still facing you

"Gotcha." Just as the voice had appeared, it vanished. The glass like prison vanished, just as his mask. You knew that stance more than anyone else, but still, it was the least of places you wanted to be.

"How..." he tried, and cleared his throat, sighing silently. "How you ended up in another universe?"

"A portal sucked me in. It appeared out of nowhere. Let me go home." His back tensed at your words, finally he turned to face you, but his frown deepened upon watching you. Your scent was different. Everything about you was different. Your gentle eyes were gone, and so your usual amiable self.

"What did you do?" Glaring, you held your stare at him as your jaw clenched.

"Inhibitors"

His eyes widened in disbelief for a moment before going to the usual scowl he always carried.

"Inhibitors, of course" He mumbled before throwing a furniture for it to land on Spider byte's station. It was just him and you. You didn't flinch at the explosive outburst, rather, braced yourself with an exasperated sigh.

"Why would you ever do that?! " His voice laced with anger and a soft bit of concern, "You know what they do to us."

"I want a normal life." you seethed

He scoffed and shook his head.

"You well damn know that is not possible for people like us."

"But that never stopped you. Right?"

His jaw tensed as his fist clenched.

"Right, Miguel?" You glared at him though his back faced you.

"There we go... Por dios, eres un hipócrita* You think you can always just do a fucking mess and expect shit just fix itself over time."

"Shut up."

"No. Fuck you, and fuck you very much. What did you expected? A welcome? Mariachis and a whole fucking celebration since you were finally owing up the consequences for what you did?. You left me, Miguel."

Your voice couldn't help but crack on his name.

"You left me when I needed you the most!."

"I was scared!" He roared, his fangs poking out from his mouth but you pushed him away, anger surpassed your fear, truly not thinking a rational approach.

"You think I wasn't?! I had just lost our baby. Our kid..." Miguel's eyes softened in pain and looked at you, "I didn't get to meet them, I didn't get to experience what was to be a mother, I didn't get to hold them for fucks sake!" Your voice finally breaking, both angry and anguished.

"But you didn't care. You just wanted to be a father so bad that..." He tried to reach for your hand, but slapped it away, rejecting him instantly as your eyes settled in the screen behind him, replaying the memories of himself with his daughter from another universe.

"You went to another fucking dimension to play house with someone else's family as I was trying to hold it all together over here! Cleaning up your mess! And guess what? It was never enough for you. I was never enough for you." Your voice had raised, yet it was crumbling as the knot in your throat grew tighter.

"That's not-" He growled but sighed

"I lost her too. And when I came back, everything was gone. Incluyéndote."

"You really though that I would wait for you after you ran away? You can't have or do both things. A person can only do so much, yet you made me feel so worthless."

"Your miscarriage was a cannon event. It was meant to happen. That's why I... ran away. I couldn't..." His voice trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

"And you never told me?"

"I fucking didn't know, coño. You think I'd sit there and wait for shit to happen!?" He gestured as he spoke, "I could've risked everything to save our kid, but I knew about it too late! But I know that saying sorry won't change anything."

You held your breath and sat on a chair. Rubbing your face in frustration. But the feeling of his hand was almost electric as he took your hand to admire the pretty ring that adorned your finger.

He let your hand go.

" How long you've been married?"

"Five years." His frame slumped slightly

"Is he the reason you're killing your powers with inhibitors?"

"Yes and no. They hide your... tingling presence from others, ."

"That's why I never found you."

"I didn't want to be found. But now that you did-"

"He knows, right? About your-"

"He does. And he doesn't care."

"Why taking them, then?"

"Can't get pregnant if my blood levels show high toxicity thanks to the spider DNA. I... We, uh, we want a family."

He closed his eyes as he processed your words. He could picture you with a round belly, the weirdest cravings at the weirdest hours, just like the first months you had shared together. And now he had to watch all what his heart once desired, through the eyes of someone else.

"Just let me go, Miguel. I need to go back home."

"To him, you'd mean."

"Yes."

"LYLA" His voice echoed through the room as the AI appeared, her face was evidently on distress, as if she had heard everything but not on purpose.

"Yes?"

" Scort her out, tell Jess to take her home."

"Right away."

You stood and exhaled deeply.

"You'll be a great mother" His voice stopped you. It was soft yet, the resentment behind it, wasn't concealed as good as he thought.

"Thanks. You... seemed a wonderful dad." He looked your way, the frowning face so ever present, but it melted for a second .

"If you ever need-"

"We'll be fine. I've got this." His eyes seized you one final time, before casting them away from your form, and focused on the screens behind him. The AI guiding you through the building, neither of you looking back.

----------

Sorry if this feels odd or weird. I felt the urge to contribute to the bandwagon of our beloved Miguel ❤️✨

___

Por dios, eres un hipócrita* - My God you are such a hypocrite.

Incluyéndote*- Including you.

coño* - Latin American Spanish slang for "Fuck"

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara angst

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hisui-dreamer · 3 months

Text

we are one

Characters: Trey, Ruggie, Rook, Sebek

Tags: slight angst, fluffy end because im a sap, fem reader, reader gives birth to a child, reunions

Word count: 4.5k+

Notes: im sorry this took so long lol, but part 4 is finally here!!

Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 3✧Masterlist

On one such experiment, your environment started to shift as a wave of magical energy engulfed you. When you opened your eyes again, he was there, right in front of you—

Shizuka (靜菓) with 静 meaning "quiet, still, calm" and 菓 meaning "confectionery, sweets, pastry"

your daughter had silky green hair the colour of fresh matcha and golden yellow eyes that were reminiscent of fresh honey

you named your daughter after her father's dislike of noise and his culinary abilities that never failed to amaze the whole of Heartslabyul

she's rather a quiet child, not very loud but too quiet either

she gets along with other kids perfectly fine, and she doesn't mind sharing or taking a step back at all, always choosing to go with the flow and not get worked up over small things

honestly she's really a mature kid

also just really good at being a peacekeeper and stopping other kids from getting into big fights

buut she does have a mischievous side and may tease her friends when she's in the mood to

at home, she's pretty obedient and will listen to you, but there are moments when she sneaks around

loves helping you with cooking, and her eyes sparkle when she's baking with you

she loves sweets and desserts, but thanks to your warnings about her dental health, she does stop herself from eating too much sugar

is slightly freaked out about cavities so don't you worry, she'll never need any reminding about brushing her teeth or late night snacks

when it comes to school, she doesn't put in too much effort, but you can tell she'd be excellent if she cared more about her grades

which is clearly shown when fixates on learning magic, always so focused that you'll have to call her twice before she snaps out of her trance

you can't blame her for giving it her all though, after all, you've never seen her more excited than when you told her how amazing a person her father is, calm and soothing like a gentle summer rain

once she puts her heart to it, there's really no stopping her

so on another normal evening, as you were cooking dinner while she was studying on the kitchen counter, you found yourself enveloped by a soft light

when you open your eyes, you find yourself standing outside a charming bakery, the fragrance of roses engulfing your senses

and peering through the bakery windows, was the man you had yearned for all these years

It was just a normal day of running the bakery for Trey. With the sun on the verge of setting, he began preparations for closing, when the soft chime of the bell announced a new customer's arrival. He turned around, catching sight of you. His eyes widened in surprise, mirroring the disbelief in your own.

Before words could be exchanged, Trey rushed past the counter. The warmth of his embrace enveloped you as he pulled you close. The years melted away, and the two of you were transported back to a time when you always had each other.

"Is this real?" he wondered aloud, your hearts pounding in sync.

You nodded into his shoulder, tears flowing freely down your cheeks. He pulled back slightly, brushing away your tears as his gaze softened, a warm smile gracing his lips.

"It's been a long time," he whispered. "I missed you so much."

he's just holding you tight, crying as he thanks the heavens for being so lucky to have you in his life again

trey returned to his hometown after graduation, helping out and eventually inheriting the family bakery

he loved incorporating your favourite foods into the store's selection, adding some new desserts from your world that you taught him, and always reminiscing on those tender moments when it was just the two of you in the kitchen

he always knew you had to go home eventually, but that didn't stop him from wishing you could be his life-long partner, supporting each other through thick and thin

so he's beyond grateful and excited to know you and his daughter(?!) shared the feelings even though you were apart

he's rather surprised about said daughter, but there would be no denying how similar they looked

shizuka is a bit nervous, tugging your skirt as she stares curiously at her supposed father

but Trey very quickly makes her feel at home, his warm smiles and even warmer hugs melting away all her nervousness!

he closes the bakery for a few days to help the two of you settle down a bit

this involves reunions with friends and of course, the clover family, who welcome you and their granddaughter with open arms

the clovers are just really really glad their son finally has someone in his life and that he seems a lot more energised now

Shizuka is very quickly introduced to uncle riddle!! who is very surprised but delighted by the behaving little girl who seems to stick to him a lot

uncle deuce and ace also get along with her wonderfully!! especially when Shizuka wants to play around with riddle for a bit hahaha

don't forget uncle cater who flies instantly to meet his new adorable niece and show her off on magicam!!

the three of you settle into a nice rhythm and you help out trey at the bakery now

Trey is very very affectionate with you always, pecking you on the cheek or nuzzling into your neck any chance he can get

Shizuka loves helping out whenever she can too!! she loves learning from her papa and sometimes will just spend hours watching him work

all in all, a blissful, simple family that Trey had always dreamed of, but never would he have believed he was so blessed to have the two of you come back to him

Trey gazed at the young girl, her silky green hair catching the light in a way that seemed surreal. With a heart full of emotions, he approached her hesitantly, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

"Shizuka, was it?" he spoke softly, the name lingering on his lips like a prayer. "It's so nice to meet you."

Shizuka's gaze flickered from Trey to you, seeking reassurance. With a gentle nod from you, she turned her attention back to him, her eyes studying him intently.

Trey knelt to her level, his heart racing. "I know this might be a lot to take in, but I'm your father."

She took a small step forward, cautious but curious. Trey extended his hand tentatively, offering a warm smile. Without a word, Shizuka reached out, placing her small hand in his.

A soft smile graced her lips, mirroring the warmth reflected in Trey's eyes. With a tentative but genuine embrace, Trey enveloped his daughter in his arms, tears cascading down his cheeks. Shizuka, feeling the sincerity in his embrace, wrapped her arms around him as well, a sense of belonging beginning to bloom within her.

Kenji (賢至) with 賢 meaning "intelligence, wisdom, cleverness" and 至 meaning "to arrive at, to reach, to come to"

your son had the softest hair the colour of wheat, and blue eyes that reminded you of cloudy skies

you named your son after how clever his father was, and his endless determination to reach his goals

he's a really sweet kid, always eager to help around and even others when he notices they're in need

you've heard about the many experiences his father had when he grew up, so you've tried your hardest to make sure Kenji wouldn't have to go through them, knowing it's what your hyena would've wanted

but even then, he's never complained about not having enough, there's a subtle wisdom to him that really mirrors his father

though he differs from him in that he's always willing to share, because he knows not everyone can be so lucky

he may not be too good at haggling prices, but his puppy dog eyes work just as well!

he loves doing chores with you, always smiling and laughing that familiar laugh as he helps you sweep the floor while he tells you about his day

he loves cuddles and kisses!!! his favourite part of the day is climbing into your warm bed to wrap his arms around you, asking you for a goodnight kiss and sometimes even bedtime stories

his ears and tails are a bit of a problem, so you keep his hair a bit long to hide the ears, or just say they're fun accessories

you've told him how his father's determination to support his family and community shined through even in unfortunate circumstances, the resourceful and intelligent man he became and you fell in love with

his blue-grey eyes almost resembled a clear sky when he listened to you, asking you more and more questions about this amazing person

he'll try learning more to be like him, but his kind nature stops him from being too schemey

he's not exactly academic weapon material, but he's pretty quick at absorbing information and putting it into practice

and with lots of determination and practice, he somehow manages to manifest the very thing the two of you wanted, and before your eyes was the man who never failed to make you laugh with him

As Ruggie's eyes adjusted, your figure slowly came into focus, revealing the very person who took his heart with them. "Prefect...?" He whispered, his voice a mix of disbelief and overwhelming joy.

His usually carefree expression shifted to one of disbelief, and then a bittersweet smile spread across his face as the tears welled up in his eyes. Without a second thought, he rushed towards you, sweeping you into a tight embrace.

"You're here... You're really here, right?" Ruggie mumbled, his voice choked with emotion.

You nodded furiously, comfort washing over you at his touch. "Yes, Ruggie, it's real. I'm really here."

His hand reached up to thread his fingers through your hair, cupping the back of your head. "I'm so glad... So, so glad..."

he's holding onto you as tightly as he can, so afraid that you'd disappear into the light if he let you loose for even a bit

after graduation, Ruggie followed leona to become his official attendant, what with him knowing how leona likes to get things done, and his ability to pick up etiquette cues

he's also a great information gatherer, so he's perfectly able to assist leona with his foreign affairs

it's leona's voice that finally breaks the two of you out of your trance, him rushing over to investigate that weird light

the two of you pull back and you almost wouldn't notice it, but leona's smile has softened a bit from the image you had in your memory

Ruggie never expected himself to be a father, and things are going a bit faster than he'd like, but there's no denying he's absolutely grateful to have you and your kid at his side

almost immediately the next day, he takes you back to his hometown so you and Kenji can meet grandma and the neighbourhood

grandma bucchi welcomes the two of you so warmly, she even gets a little teary eyed when she sees Kenji, with him looking so similar to the very hyena she raised

leona and Ruggie delegate a room for you in the side palace, where they also live, so you'll be able to see familiar faces often

Kenji loves following his father around, picking up his mannerisms and wanting to learn more about being more schemey

Ruggie's a bit conflicted his angel of a son wants to learn his ways but even he can't deny those puppy dog eyes

uncle leona and guard jack also love spending time with him! though one of them pretends it's annoying

leona shows him magic tricks and jack will teach him how to fight! he'll be getting great lessons all around

Kenji is very eager to learn more and explore this world, so sometimes you'll have to hold him back a bit just in case he gets hurt

but you suppose with the splendid man his father is, you don't have to worry too much

Ruggie's schedule can be a bit hectic and he pulls a lot of late nights, but he always tries to make time for his family

they're the most precious thing to him in the entire world, did you think he'd let them go that easily?

"Dad!" Kenji exclaimed, darting over to grasp at the fabric of Ruggie's pants. "You're my dad, right?"

Ruggie blinked in disbelief, shifting his gaze towards you. "Is... Is he?" he asked, hope saturating his voice.

You affirmed with a nod, and Ruggie redirected his attention to Kenji. "Yeah... I'm your dad..."

Instantly, Kenji wrapped his arms around Ruggie's legs. "Yay! I've always wanted to meet you, Dad!"

Ruggie couldn't help but marvel in awe at the bundle of joy now clinging to his legs, realizing that this spirited kid was the product of your love.

Ayaka (斐佳) with 斐 meaning "elegance, beauty, grace" and 華 meaning "flower, splendour, brilliance"　

Ayato (斐斗) with 斐 meaning "elegance, beauty, grace" and 杜 meaning "forest, grove, woods"

maybe a part of you should have expected it, with how unpredictable your beloved hunter always has been, but you ended up having to raise twins

the two had luscious golden locks that rivalled sunlight and sharp green eyes akin to the forests in the summer

you named the two of them after their father's love for all things beauty and his love for forests and nature

the two are well-behaved children, though they can be surprisingly sneaky and mischievous

Ayaka is more outgoing and is always fascinated by the pretty things in her vicinity

while Ayato is more introverted and quiet, often silently following his younger sister and nodding along to her ramblings

he definitely appreciates beauty, but he's less vocal about it

and whereas Ayaka is more fascinated by gems and cute plushies, Ayato is more interested in nature, finding beauty in the moss, the trees and the insects

the siblings are just really really curious about the world and they love observing the little details, from catching beetles to keep as pets, to planting flowers they found on a hike

they really do reflect your hunter's wide range of appreciation

the twins love sticking to each other and they're rarely arguing

though they do fight a bit over who helped you more with chores or who you love more

they're very helpful and efficient, and though they may complain about not wanting to work because the other twin is lazing, they'll still get the job done

they love watching tv shows and dramas, often acting out scenes in the shows or in fairytales

and oh the way their eyes sparkled when you told the fascinating man their father was, a man who could control his own heartbeat, keep track of time so accurately, and with such incredible eyesight, who devoted himself to spreading joy and beauty

almost immediately they doubled their efforts in studying, wanting desperately to meet the man to learn his ways and see for themselves just how interesting he is

and just like that, the dazzling light gradually subsided, unveiling a world that you thought only existed in your dreams

you remember the villa, it's where he took you on vacation for the first, and supposedly last time

You hesitantly knocked on the weathered wooden door of the villa, the echoes of your anticipation mingling with the rustle of leaves in the gentle breeze. As the door creaked open, memories flooded back to the first time you entered this place with the man who had captured your heart.

Rook's usual stoic expression shifted, replaced by a mix of surprise and unspoken emotions. "Mon amour... You're really here," he murmured, his voice a tender whisper that hung in the air. Without uttering a single word, he enfolded you in an embrace, as though afraid you might slip away like a fleeting dream.

"I missed you so much," you whispered back the tears flowing freely now that you've felt as you savour the warmth of his touch and the comforting scent of his cologne.

He pulled back, soft brushes of his fingers wiping your tears, his eyes lingering on your face as if trying to capture the essence of the time that had passed. "I missed you too, so dearly..." he admitted as tears threatened to spill from his eyes, a rare vulnerability in his gaze.

this was the most emotion you'd seen from him, even when you said goodbye he kept a smile on his face

he's holding you so delicately, as if you were going to fade away if he applied just a bit more pressure

he's surprised by the children, but he instantly warms up to the idea!

he's remained a pursuer of beauty even after graduation, sponsoring artists while he makes a living through hunting and his film critique

he was taking a break in the family villa for old times sake, but it's almost as if the universe planned it all along

he's very affectionate with you, even more so than before, which you didn't even know was possible

always a warm hand on your waist, an occasional peck on your cheek, and every once in a while he'll feel the urge to pull you in for a hug

he tries to do everything for you so you don't even have to lift a finger, breakfast in bed, waking the children, even cooking and cleaning

he loves spending time with the twins!! teaching the two of them how to hunt and explore the forest safely

he'll show them pretty plants, and interesting fungi, all while explaining what properties they might have and whether or not they're poisonous

the twins are so fascinated by everything, their excitement and energy are seemingly endless

and who's a father to deny his children? he spoils them rotten

he also loves showing the kids a certain idol he's supported...

as well as films of vil!! occasionally talking over the movie to express how perfect a scene is or how flawless his acting is

and when the twins get to meet the vil schoenheit, they're beyond thrilled

asking questions, throwing compliments, all directed towards vil, but they're quiet the moment he tells them to shush

uncle vil loves talking to his niece and nephew, but only when they're... calm

uncle epel also loves popping by and giving the twins some apples so they'll get proper nutrition!

really, you'll have to step in to prevent your kids from being spoiled rotten

but you'll indulge Rook for a while, he's just blissfully happy with his family after all

"Are these...?" he began, his voice trailing off as he looked at the children with a mix of awe and wonder.

"Ours," you answered, a gentle smile gracing your lips as you delicately wiped away the tears that had welled up in your eyes. "Meet Ayato and Ayaka."

The hunter knelt down to their eye level, his usual face softening into a loving. "Ayato, Ayaka," he said, his voice gentle, "It's so nice to meet you. I'm your father."

The children exchanged glances before Ayaka stepped forward. "Hello father!" she exclaimed, throwing her tiny arms around him.

Ayato, the quieter one, followed suit with a nod, a shy smile on his face.

The hunter embraced them both, a warmth in his eyes that spoke volumes. "Such angels... Mon amour what a blessing you've granted me...," he sighed as he held them close.

Atsuki (惇貴) with 惇 meaning "sincerity, loyalty" and 貴 meaning "precious, valuable, honourable"　

your son had curly hair with the softest shade of light green, and piercing golden eyes with slits that reminded you of reptiles

you named your son after the chivalrous values his father had devoted his life to

he's a rather loud and excitable child, always forgetting to control his volume when he gets too emotional

doesn't really get along with other kids, but it doesn't affect him much, he's just happy to have his mama with him

if he's done something wrong, you don't even need to yell at him really, most of the time he's already holding back tears at the thought of disappointing you

very into sports and is also really good at several sports, he's earned a couple of medals and trophies already

he's not the best at magic, and you're also not too sure how his dark fae blood affects that, but he's still pretty good at making progress

he really is just a good kid who tries hard at everything and tries to make the right decisions, but he's quick to get disappointed when things don't go his way, and suddenly you're faced with a very familiar and endearing puppy dog face

so a lot of times, you'll just have to pull him in a hug, and remind him things almost never go the way we plan, and it's okay to accept defeat and learn from it

but there's nothing he's more motivated about than learning more about his dad, who in his mind, is an honourable, talented knight straight from the fairytales who devotes his life to protecting the people important to him

so much so, that you'll find him swinging around the toy sword you got him for training

he'll also start putting even more effort into learning magic, wanting to connect to his amazing papa in a way

and then on one night, you're not sure what triggered it, but he's incredibly emotional and crying about how he can't help you and you're always taking care of him and he just wants to have his dad in his life and it's all so unfair why his mama is alone and-

he starts emitting bright light, so bright you can't keep your eyes open, but you reach to hold him in your arms

when you no longer feel the bright light, you tentatively open your eyes, only to find yourself standing in the dark, spacious throne room of Briar Valley

and standing there, right next to the throne, was your knight in shining armour

Standing next to the grand throne, was your knight in shining armour, Sebek. He, along with Silver, stood in positions of defence, but the moment his eyes met yours, the mask of composure crumbled, and he rushed toward you with an urgency that mirrored the longing that had lingered in his heart during your separation.

He enveloped you in a fierce embrace, his arms securing you but also gentle to not hurt you with his armour.

"I thought... I thought I lost you," Sebek's voice was a shaky whisper against your ear, his grip on you tightening as if trying to confirm that you were indeed real.

"I'm here, Sebek. I found my way back," you reassured him, feeling the softness of his hair against your cheek.

"I never thought I'd see you again," he admitted, his words a whispered admission of the fears he had harboured, pressing his forehead gently to yours.

he's a mess the instant he sees you, and he melts completely when you're finally in his arms

malleus and silver are also immensely happy that you're back, calling lilia to join the family reunion

Sebek's pretty overwhelmed with your presence on its own, so silver and lilia have given him a gentle push to actually function and introduce himself to Atsuki

he's grown to be less awkward with his affection, and particularly with how long you've been away, he doesn't hold back too much

his hands are always inching closer to touch you, his forehead resting on your shoulder every once in a while, it's all really endearing

but his parenting style is a bit awkward

Atsuki really admires him, but that also makes him ever so slightly afraid of him

meanwhile, Sebek is nervous because he doesn't want to do anything that ruins the image of a perfect knight for his son

so they're a bit awkward, but with you as the middle person they can get along pretty well!

they bond over training, with Sebek teaching him sword fighting (with you reminding him not to push him too hard)

Atsuki also really enjoys sparing with uncle silver, who always lets him him, but Atsuki just wants him to fight for real, so it's just silver being "this is real??"

uncle malleus taking him out for gargoyle studies (Sebek is jealous lmao)

and of course, uncle lilia who cooks extremely nutritious meals that always end with Atsuki puppy dog eying you to save him

sebek's family is also very very happy to have you two!!

grandpa baul grumbles around a lot, but he keeps note of Atsuki's favourite foods to prepare them when he visits

also comments on his sword fighting and stance when he feels like it

mom and dad also adore you guys!! mrs. zigvolt loves giving you gifts and talking about sebek when he was younger haha

all in all, sebek's so incredibly grateful you could come back to him, and though he's still awkward with his affection sometimes, he'll never stop trying his best to love the both of you

Atsuki's eyes widened as he took in the sight of his father, the mythical figure he had only heard tales of until now.

Sebek's gaze shifted from you to Atsuki, and his breath caught. His eyes softened as he knelt down to be at eye level with the child who was undeniably his son. "Hello," he said, his voice trembling with a mix of joy and uncertainty. "I... I'm your father."

Atsuki's eyes flickered with a mixture of awe and excitement. "Papa?" he questioned, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sebek nodded, his hands trembling slightly as he reached out to gently cup Atsuki's face. "Yes, little one. I'm your papa."

The room seemed to hold its breath as father and son locked eyes for the first time. Atsuki, still processing the enormity of the moment, broke into a wide, joyful smile. "Papa!" he exclaimed, launching himself into Sebek's arms.

Sebek, overwhelmed with emotion, held Atsuki close, a mix of laughter and tears escaping him. "I've missed so much, haven't I?" he murmured, his heart swelling with love for the son he never imagined to exist.

Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 3 ✧Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

#twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #trey clover #trey clover x reader #twisted wonderland trey #ruggie bucchi #ruggie bucchi x reader #twisted wonderland ruggie #rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #twisted wonderland rook #sebek zigvolt #sebek zigvolt x reader #twisted wonderland sebek

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celiastjamesoscar · 9 months

Text

Devil in the Details

Pairings: Tara Carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: Tara accidentally runs into on campus, and she’s immediately enchanted by you and asks you for help. You give her the wrong advice and she holds it against you.

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, slight drinking, mentions of sex, Frankie, mentions of Tara’s family issues. If I missed any, let me know!

AN: not my best work but oh well

Word Count: 12k (im sorry)

The fall leaves gently drifted onto the ground as Tara bolted across the Blackmore campus. She was already running late; her alarm was set for pm instead of am, and she had no idea where she was going. The sky was dark, and Tara could hear the distant sounds of thunder as she rounded a corner and smacked right into someone, causing her to fall to the ground.

“Are you okay?” The stranger said as they let out a small chuckle and reached out to pull Tara off the ground. When Tara finally opened her eyes and made eye contact with the stranger, her heart fluttered.

The woman was undoubtedly gorgeous-there was no denying that-and she simply towered over the more petite girl. Tara was enchanted by the girl’s eyes that shined through the gloomy weather surrounding them and how her features contrasted with the outside world.

She spoke with the voice of an angel that sang in Tara’s ears, as Tara just stared blankly at her.

The girl shifted from one foot to the other, clearly not expecting this to happen, “are you okay?” She questioned again with her arm still extended.

Snapping out of her trance, Tara eagerly grabbed the stranger’s hand and stood up, “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going. I was supposed to be at my class ten minutes ago and don’t know where the room is. I just ran from the other side of campus, and I’m lost,” Tara rambled on as she talked with her hands. She was getting ready to talk more, but the stranger interrupted her.

“Okay, slow down,” she said with a soft smile that caused her eyes to crinkle, “what class is it?”

Tara let out a defeated sigh. She hated having to rely on people for help, especially strangers. She felt they had a mysterious power over her, and she hated not being in control. “Chemistry with Mrs. Rosalind in Franklin Hall.”

The stranger turned slightly to her left before pointing towards a brick building, “Franklin Hall is that way. Just go past this building and make a sharp left. It will be on your right past the giant water feature; you can’t miss it.” She finished with a mischievous smirk that Tara mistook for a flirtatious one.

“Thank you so much; I owe you!” Tara yelled with a smile as she had already started to jog away from the stranger, but she mentally slapped herself for not asking the girl her name.

The stranger smiled as she watched Tara slowly disappear, her heart fluttering at the more petite girl’s smile. Once she lost sight of her, she turned around and went to Franklin Hall.

——————————————————————————

“I met the worst fucking person on the planet today!” Tara exclaimed as she walked into her shared apartment before violently throwing her bag onto the floor and kicking off her shoes. She stomped to the couch and flopped onto it with a huff.

Sam tried her best not to laugh at her sister’s antics, as she always met ‘the worst person on the planet’ at least once a week. “Who was it this time?” She questioned as she walked into the living room and sat on the chair opposite Tara, but upon closer inspection, Sam noticed that her baby sister was a little damp. “And why are you wet?”

At Sam’s question, Tara sent her a deadly glare before taking off her shoes and socks, throwing a sock at Sam. “I will get to that in a minute; just let me rant about Satan.”

Sam quickly threw the sock off that landed on her shoulder with a disgusted face, “Okay then, tell me about your encounter with Satan.”

Tara lays back on the couch and laces her fingers together as if she was getting ready to talk to a therapist before speaking gently, “As you know, I woke up really late this morning, so I didn’t get to eat breakfast. Because of that, I was already in a bad mood and somehow ended up on the opposite side of campus. So I had to haul ass to return to the other side for my class when I accidentally ran into a woman.”

Sam ignored how Tara’s eyes seemed to sparkle when she mentioned the woman and how her eyes seemed to dance. “So you physically ran into Satan?” Sam questioned with a slight chuckle as she received a death glare from Tara, which resulted in Sam moving uncomfortably, “anyways, continue.”

“Before I was so rudely interrupted, this woman helped me up, and my god, Sam, she was so beautiful it almost made me cry. And she spoke with a gentle voice that sounded like angels. She also had these beautiful eyes that pulled me in. And that smile, I can’t even begin to describe it; it was the most perf-she’s a fucking bitch is what she is.” Tara ended with a hateful tone after realizing she had been daydreaming about the mysterious woman. “So I asked her where Franklin Hall was, and she pointed me toward it. So naturally, I took off running because I was late, and as soon as I rounded the corner, boom! I immediately fell right into a pool. I was shocked and forgot I had to swim, so someone had to jump in and save me. It was so embarra-stop laughing!”

Sam had a smile on her face since Tara started talking about this she-devil, trying to fight back a laugh, but she completely lost it when Tara said someone had to save her from drowning. She shouldn’t find her sister's near-death experience this funny, but she couldn’t help.

After a few minutes of Sam laughing, she eventually dries her tears before speaking with a small laugh, “I'm sorry, you can continue talking.”

Tara stared at her for a few seconds before returning to the story, “Anyways, this woman drags me out of the pool, and of course, I thank her. She asked me why I decided to swim, and I explained the situation to her. Naturally, she finds it funny and helps me find my class because we miraculously have it together. So we walk into class soaking wet, and guess who we sit by?” Tara finishes with an eyebrow raised.

“Who?” Sam questioned with a knowing feeling of who it was.

“The fucking devil. She has this devilish smirk on her face and doesn’t even look at me; she just leans past me and asks the lady I was with, ‘Decided to go for a swim, Anika?’ God, I fucking hate her.” Tara stated with a groan as she clenched her fists into the air, making it clear she hated this woman.

Sam couldn’t help the small chuckle that left her lips. “So, did you guys talk at all or just sit in awkward silence?”

Tara scoffed before sitting up on the couch. Clearly, this was something that angered her deeply, “oh, no, we did not talk. She talked. Talked the entire fucking class with that same fucking devilish smirk I just wanna kiss off.” Tara finished before realizing what she had just said, “Kick off, I meant. Anyways, the professor forced me to get my notes from her, and she gave them to me. But every five minutes or so, she would lean over and draw something on my paper. Look!” Tara exclaimed as she got up and grabbed her backpack, pulling out the piece of paper and handing it to Sam. The paper did indeed have little scribbles all over it.

The drawings varied from squiggly lines to stick figures sword fighting to even a tiny detailed drawing of Tara. “What’s this right here?” Sam asked as she pointed to beautiful penmanship that said ‘Y/N x Tara’ with a heart drawn around it.

“Oh, the devil wrote that after she asked for my name,” Tara said with a shrug of her shoulders as a slight blush crept up her neck, “she just tapped on my shoulder, asked me what my name was, and wrote that down before turning back to her book.”

Sam looked between Tara and the heart, wondering why Tara even kept the piece of paper as it didn’t have any notes on it. “Why did you keep it then? If she bothers you so much.” Sam questioned, hoping to catch her sister in a lie.

Caught off guard, Tara quickly stumbled over her words before snatching the paper out of Sam’s hands while grumbling, “Mind your own business,” as she stomped off to her room.

———————————————————-

Chemistry class continued like that for a week; Tara would mind her business while Y/N occasionally drew on Tara’s paper. By the week's end, Tara had a small collection of Y/N’s doodles. Still, her favorite one remained the drawings from the first day; the one with the heart wrapped around their names and a small drawing of herself. Tara could help but smile at the thought of it, but her smile quickly dropped every time she saw you.

“Good morrow, Tara,” Y/N said as she placed her backpack on the table and sat in her chair. Tara rolled her eyes at Y/N before speaking, “It was until I saw you.”

Y/N scoffed at her words as she swiveled to face Tara, “Why must you wound me?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you made me walk half a mile in the wrong direction and caused me to fall into some water?” Tara asked with an annoyed tone as she looked Y/N in her eyes. She wanted to strangle the girl, especially when Y/N laughed when Tara mentioned the water.

Wiping the tears away from her eyes, Y/N laughed, “Yeah, I forgot about that. That was a gas, wasn’t it?”

“No, it wasn’t a ‘gas,’” Tara exclaimed as she kicked Y/N’s chair, causing the girl to roll slightly away from her, “someone had to jump in and save me. Where is she, by the way?”

“Anika? She stayed home; she woke up with a temp this morning, so I made her some soup and promised to fill her in with everything we did today.” Y/N said as she pulled out a notebook and pen, preparing to take notes instead of writing all over Tara’s paper, which caused Tara to look at her with an eyebrow raised, “Sorry, beautiful, no drawings today.”

Tara rolled her eyes at Y/N’s comment but quickly faced away from the girl to hide her blush as the lecture started. She wondered if Anika and Y/N lived together, as the girl mentioned she made her soup this morning, or if she just woke up early and made her friend something; either way, she figured that was the one good deed she did in a year.

Once class was over, Y/N politely held the door open for Tara, which earned her a scoff and an elbow to the side. “I don’t know why you dislike me, Tara. I haven’t done anything to cause you harm,” Y/N said as she jogged to catch up with the shorter girl who tried her best to speed-walk away from Y/N.

“Are you serious right now?” Tara asked as she continued to walk quickly; for every three steps she took, Y/N took one.

“Okay, that was not my fault. You should have been paying more attention. And I can’t believe you are still upset about that,” Y/N stated while looking down at Tara.

Tara quickly stopped her movements as she looked at Y/N. “I am not explaining this to you again, as your pea-sized brain cannot seem to comprehend why I am furious with you!” Tara finished as she shoved her pointer finger into Y/N’s chest.

Y/N just smiled at the girl before reaching up and wrapping her hand around Tara’s finger before pulling it close to her lips as she gently kissed the back of her hand, right where Tara’s scar was. “Sei bellissima quando sei arrabbiata.”

When Y/N’s lips touched Tara’s hand and landed on her scar, electricity shot throughout her body; it almost caused her to shiver. Her body reached before she even had time to think; her hand quickly pulled back before her fist made its way right into Y/N’s face, and the sound of impact filled the air.

Y/N was slightly taken off her feet as she stumbled back a bit and reached up to feel her nose. She felt liquid drip onto her hand and brought her hand down to find crimson blood on her hand. She could already taste the copper in her mouth as the blood flowed easily. She couldn’t tell if it was broken, but she had a gut feeling it was. She quickly straightened her poster and stood there in silence as tears began to form in her eyes, and a slight trickle of blood ran from her nose, down her mouth, and dipped onto her clothing. That's the thing about getting hit in the nose; no matter the circumstance, you always cry. It could be because of the humiliation, the shock, or the sharp pain that followed. But no matter what you do afterward, you always have tears in your eyes.

“Okay.” Was all Y/N said before she turned away from Tara and started walking, tugging on her backpack straps. For some unknown reason, Tara felt shame quickly replace any sparks she had felt, which made her heart shatter.

When Y/N arrived home, she quickly sat her pack down and went into the shared bathroom. She wiped away the blood and waited for the flow to stop. Once she did, she popped her nose back into place. She sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror; she already had purple bruises forming under her eyes, and her nose was swollen and bruised. Y/N then turned off the bathroom lights, entered her room, and sat on her bed.

The moment to herself allowed her to think back on the harsh conversation she and Tara had merely an hour ago. She could still feel the sting of the punch every time she thought about it. It’s not like she didn’t apologize for sending Tara in the wrong direction; she brought the girl a small bouquet on the second day of class that had a small note that said, “It is I that is full of sorrow, for I doth bestow no harm onto thy lady of beauty.” Tara didn't say anything when Y/N handed her the flowers with a small smile, but she let out a dry chuckle when she read the note. Y/N believed they were on good terms after that, but sadly, she had assumed wrong.

The next day, Y/N walked in, sporting a pair of black sunglasses, as Tara was already in her seat. Y/N placed her bag on the table and sat down, entirely ignoring how Tara’s eyes burned into the side of her skull. Anika had not overthrown her illness yet, so it would just be the pair again. Tara could see the nasty purple that had formed underneath Y/N’s eye even though the girl still had her sunglasses on. She felt awful for what she did to Y/N and wanted to apologize, but she knew words couldn’t fix this. She didn’t know what could. So, they sat in awkward silence until the lecture began.

Hoping to ease the tension, Tara drew a small stick figure holding some flowers with the words “I'm sorry” in a word bubble. She slid it over to her left, praying Y/N would accept the peace offering. Tara did not expect Y/N to draw a stick figure holding garden shears, cutting the flowers in two before sliding the paper back to Tara. She stared blankly at Y/N before taking the piece of paper and shoving it into her bag with a huff.

The weekend arrived and passed in a fly, and it was Monday again, but Tara silently screamed for joy when she saw Anika to the right of her seat. She was so glad to have Anika back and hoped it would make her feel less bad about Y/N. The two joked the entire class while Y/N sat silently, too interested in what Professor Rosalind had to say. However, after class, Anika pulled Tara off the side once Y/N had left.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Anika whisper-shouted at Tara, burning holes into Tara’s eyes with her own, “Why did you punch Y/N?!”

“Because she kissed my hand, and I freaked out! I told her I was sorry, but she’s still mad at me.” Tara defended with slightly frustrated eyes as she clenched and unclenched her fist.

“Of course, she’s going to be mad at you, you broke her nose, and she was out of commission all weekend!” Anika replied, not phased when Tara said that Y/N had kissed her hand; she liked to do that to people she found attractive.

Tara looked down at the ground in shame, not knowing how to respond. Anika sighed as she rubbed her hands on Tara's triceps, “I’m sorry, Tara. I shouldn’t have yelled at you earlier; I just get protective over Y/N. Trust me; I know better than anyone that she can be an asshole. I've wanted to strangle her several times, but you eventually warm up to her.”

Tara scoffed at her words and rolled her eyes, “She cut up the fake flowers I drew for her; I am not warming up to her anytime soon!”

Not wanting to argue, Anika dropped the subject, “anyways, let’s not talk about Y/N. Would you like to work together on this chemistry project?”

Tara beamed at the mention of the chemistry project; She had already figured Anika would work with Y/N since they were best friends, and she was a little skeptical about working with her as she didn’t want to upset Y/N even more.

As if reading her thoughts, Anika voiced, “Don't worry about Y/N; she’s already finished the project. She prefers to work alone anyways.”

Tara nodded, “Yeah, I’d love to work with you on it.”

“Okay, good! We can start on it next Monday around five. I’ll send you my address.” Anika said with a smile as she walked towards her next class. Tara was just grateful she had a partner for this project, so she smiled as she went to her next class.

——————————————————

Sam’s car slowly pulled up to the apartment complex Anika had sent her; it was reasonably pleasant, with eight different levels. “Okay, this is it,” Tara said as she grabbed her backpack from the backseat and opened the door, but Sam placed her hand on Tara’s arm, causing the girl to stop her movements.

“Call me if you need anything, Tara. I’m serious,” Sam stated as she looked at her baby sister. She worried about Tara like a mother. Her protectiveness knows no bounds. But she wanted Tara to have some form of a social life, so she allowed Tara to go to a friend’s house for this project. She’d never tell her sister, but Sam’s stomach hurt when Tara was away.

Tara placed her own hand over Sam’s, “Don’t worry, Sam, I’ll be safe. I’ll text you when you get to Anika’s room.” Tara slowly climbed out of the car and was getting ready to close the door but stopped, “I love you, Sammy.”

Sam smiled at her sister, her heart filled with joy at Tara’s words, “I love you too. Now be safe and nice!” Sam knew that Tara could sometimes be an angry little dog that liked to bite ankles, so she felt it necessary to warn her sister.

Tara rolled her eyes at Sam’s words as she closed the car door and approached the complex's entrance. She turned around and sent Sam a wave before entering the building.

The elevator was broken-to her demise-so she dragged herself up five flights of stairs. Out of breath, she sauntered over the door that had ‘237’ on it. ‘Great, I’m going to get murdered by the ghost of Lorraine Massey after climbing up seven thousand steps,’ Tara thought to herself as she knocked on the door.

When the door flew open, any air Tara had managed to keep trapped in her lungs flew out. Standing before her was Y/N in nothing but a sports bra and shorts. Tara’s eyes raked over Y/N’s body, She had sweat glistening on her chest and stomach, and Tara admired her abs and subconsciously reached out to touch them as she licked her lips. Y/N quickly slapped Tara’s hand away while glaring at her with narrowed eyes, snapping Tara out of her fantasy.

“What do you want? You aren’t welcome at my mojo dojo casa house,” Y/N stated as she crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway. Tara could hear her heart beating in her ears, and her palms started to sweat. She had sworn to hate Y/N, but the girl made it so hard.

Tara was at a loss for words; not only did she have to climb up five flights of stairs, but the Devil herself was standing in front of her in all her beauty, shirtless, and had just caught her staring at her chest and abs. “A-Anika.” Tara managed to mumble out.

“Anika, your weird pervert friend is undressing me with her eyes,” Y/N called out into the apartment room before turning her attention back to Tara with a mischievous smirk.

“I-I’m not-” Tara stuttered, too ashamed that Y/N had caught her checking her out. “No,” she finally whispered.

Y/N glared at Tara, not saying anything. She enjoyed watching the smaller girl squirm under her gaze. Y/N studied how Tara refused to meet her gaze and kept shifting the weight on her feet.

Tara heard a muffled voice yell from behind Y/N, causing the shirtless woman to look behind her and walk a little bit into the apartment. Y/N said something that Tara couldn’t make out, and Anika responded to her, but by how Y/N tilted her head back and let out an angry noise from the back of her throat, Tara only assumed it wasn’t good.

She stomped back to Tara and crossed her arms as she leaned against the doorframe. “Anika is in the shower. She’ll be a couple of minutes,” Y/N said with an irritated tone as she glared down at Tara.

“Oh, okay then. Would it be alright with you if I came in then?” Tara asked with hopeful eyes and a slightly awkward smile, causing Y/N to let out a small laugh. She didn’t say anything in response, and Tara was getting ready to shove past Y/N, but the taller girl moved to the side, uncrossed her arms, and made a welcome gesture.

“Thank you,” Tara said as she walked into the apartment with her head down. Tara followed Y/n into the living room and sat on the couch with her hands in her lap. She could feel more comfortable if it was just her waiting on Anika, not her and the shirtless devil.

“Just make sure your gremlin attitude doesn’t seep into the couch and ruin it,” Y/N mumbled as she walked into her room and shut the door.

Not knowing what to do, Tara quietly sat while looking at her phone, patiently waiting for Anika. After what seems like hours, Anika finally comes out of her room, “I am so sorry, Tara. Y/N and I carried some slushies, and she tripped on the stairs. Anyways, long story short, the drinks landed on me, and I had to take a shower,” Anika said as she walked over to the couch and pulled out a binder for their project.

It seemed a little too convenient that Y/N had ‘accidentally’ tripped and somehow managed to get all the drinks over Anika and none on herself, and then after Anika had told Y/N that Tara was coming by, she started to work out right after. It also seemed a little too convenient that the hot water stopped working a few minutes into her shower, causing Anika to wait for it to return and extend her shower even longer.

“That’s okay. I’m just glad we can get started on this project,” Tara replied as she scooted over so Anika could sit beside her.

Anika sat beside Tara with the binder on her lap and opened it, flipping through the papers as she spoke, “I hope Y/N wasn’t too mean. She likes to hold grudges.”

“She wasn’t too much, just her normal self,” Tara said shyly. She was not about to admit to Anika, let alone herself that she thought about fornicating with the much taller woman. “So, let's get started on this project then?”

“Let us,” Anika replied as she read through the instructions. The two worked together peacefully for thirty minutes, joking back and forth with each other and making little progress on the task at hand. Thirty minutes then turned into an hour and a half of gossiping, their project long forgotten.

Y/N had been halfway listening to the two girls outside, waiting until the perfect time to leave her cave. When she deemed the time was right, she did enough push-ups and enough squats to work up a decent sweat and sauntered out into the living room, still in her shorts and bra.

Tara's eyes instantly snapped towards the door that flew open, and her heartbeat immediately picked up. Her leg began to bounce, but Anika noticed and placed her hand on the girl’s leg, giving her a look of disbelief.

“What are you doing, Y/N?” Anika called out with a slight hint of frustration while pressing Tara’s knee down.

Y/N scoffed as she walked into the kitchen, “I'm getting some water? Am I not allowed to be thirsty?” She asked with a playful smirk she sent toward Tara. She knew Tara was checking her out and loved watching the girl fight her urges.

“So you’ve been working out for two hours now and finally decided that you might need some water?” Anika questioned, not believing Y/N for a second. She knew that Y/N loved to tease people, especially Tara, who would knock back and argue like a match made in hell.

Y/N grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and then walked toward the couch, “um, yes? Why is that so hard to believe?” She asked with sass as she placed a hand on her hip while holding the bottle in the other.

Anika stared at Y/N with a look that said, ‘I seriously cannot believe you right now.’ She then blinked, rolled her eyes, and said dryly, “Because you went to the gym this morning like you do every day. And you never workout at home because you said ‘I don’t have enough space to sculpt this perfect body’” she used air quotes when she spoke.

“What are you getting at then?” Y/N questioned, refusing to back down from this challenge.

Anika just shrugged and returned to her project, refusing to give in to Y/N’s challenge. Disbelief took over Y/N’s face; usually, Anika argued back with her, but for some reason, she didn’t, which made Y/N sad.

With a frown, she shuffled back into her room. She grabbed some clothes and walked towards the shared bathroom. “I'm taking a shower. Please don’t use the water,” she announced as she closed the door.

“Whatever,” Anika mumbled as she went back to the project. She asked Tara a question, and when she didn’t get a response, she looked up to find Tara staring holes into the bathroom door.

“Hey! Snap out of it! This isn’t you!” Anika commanded as she snapped her fingers in front of Tara’s face. The girl was quickly pulled back into reality when Anika snapped her fingers as if in a trance. She mumbled a quiet ‘sorry’ as she returned to work.

Every Monday and Friday for two weeks were spent like that; Tara would come over for a project, and Y/N would miraculously be working out simultaneously. She would walk into the kitchen, grab a bottle of water, grab some clothes, and shower. And every single time, Tara could not pull her eyes away. And every single time, Anika had to snap Tara out of it. Tara wanted to stop staring at Y/N, especially after everything between them, but she couldn’t.

Of course, Y/N and Tara did not talk during their chemistry class. Sometimes, Y/N would ask Anika to relay a message to Tara, and those messages were, ‘You look dreadful,’ ‘You look decent today,’ ‘Your appearance isn’t assaulting my eyes,’ ‘Ouch, that hurt. Please don’t kick me again.’ Sometimes, they were helpful messages, ‘Your shoe is untied,’ ‘The answer is C,’ or even, ‘Your hair isn’t braided evenly.’

Tara would try to speak to Y/N, but the girl would uphold her head and side-eye Anika. Then Tara would have to lean over to Anika, tell her whatever she wanted to say, and then Anika would have to lean across Tara and talk to Y/N. It would have been entertaining if Anika had sat between them and not Tara, but she took what she could get. The class continued like that for a few weeks until it was time for the labs to begin. Of course, Professor Rosalind made her students work in groups of three, so naturally, Anika, Tara, and Y/N worked together.

Anika and Y/N were messing around with a Bunsen burner while Tara actually tried to do the project. They were supposed to be doing an ion flame test, but Y/N kept on getting distracted by the different colors the flames would emit.

“Oh my god, guys, look at this one!” Y/N exclaimed as she held a small wire loop in the Bunsen burner flame. The flame below the wire was blue, but the flame above it was a blue-green color. Anika looked over at Y/N and was utterly fascinated by it, but Tara could have cared less.

“Which compound is that?” Tara asked with a bored tone.

“Copper,” Y/N replied, matching Tara’s tone. Tara just rolled her eyes at Y/N as she wrote down ‘copper=blue/green”.

The lab continued like that; Y/N and Anika would mess around with the fire while Tara wrote down the answers. Tara had completely blocked them out of her mind until she heard Y/N say, “Anika, I will throw hand sanitizer on you if you do not stop.”

That one sentence pulled Tara out of the daydream, and she was instantly alert. Tara’s head was immediately filled with the screams of her ex-girlfriend, Amber. Her eyes darted around the room, afraid that Ghostface would come to finish her story at any moment. Y/N gently placed her hand on Tara’s lower back, and she quickly remembered where she was.

Y/N looked at Tara with worry as she rubbed the girl’s back. “Is everything alright, Tara?” She asked with worry in her voice.

Tara just nodded her head, “Yeah, I’m good. Just got a cold chill.” Y/N gave Tara a weak smile, one that ‘I don’t believe, but I won’t pressure you about it.’ Tara smiled back at Y/N as the taller woman pulled her hand off Tara’s back.

After their moment in the lab, Y/N quickly left the building, saying something about needing to return some video tapes. As Anika and Tara walked out together, Anika said, “So, one of my buddies is throwing this Christmas party at his frat house. Would you want to go to that with me?”

Tara thought about it for a moment; she really wanted to go out and possibly find someone to hook up with; god only knows her sex life has been lacking lately. “Sure, when is it?” Tara asked after a few beats of silence.

“It’s on Friday, the 15th, so in a couple of weeks, at the Sigma Nu house. I can pick you up and take you with me; I’m already taking Mindy,” Anika suggested.

“Okay, sounds good. Is there a theme?”

“Ugly sweater, but that's fine if you don’t have one. It starts at six, but I’ll pick you up about ten minutes before.”

Tara smiled at Anika’s words, “Okay, sweet. Sounds good.”

—----------------------------------------------------------

On a Tuesday afternoon, around six, Tara went to the library to find any books she might need. As her eyes grazed over the names of authors, she slowly rounded the corner and went to walk over to the next aisle, but someone caught her eye. Her eyes drifted over to Y/N. She was sitting by herself with a book in hand. The cover was red with different patterns, and Tara laughed to herself when she read the title.

“‘The Devil and Tom Walker.’ It's a good book and it suits you,” Tara said to Y/N, who slightly lifted her head out of the book to look at Tara. Her eyes locked with Tara’s, and Tara swore that she could see a hint of sadness in them, along with hurt. But it was only there for a second, as the sadness and hurt quickly turned into anger.

“It would be a good book if my pea-sized brain could comprehend the words,” Y/N said dryly, refusing to meet Tara’s piercing gaze. Tara felt her heart break slightly at those words, but just as Y/N’s eyes did, her chest filled with anger.

Tara walked closer to the table Y/N was sitting at, causing the girl to look up from her book, “Look, I am sorry I hit you, okay? I apologized, yet you still insist on being rude to me.” Tara huffed out as her hands rested on the back of the chair across from Y/N.

Y/N looked up from her book, glaring at Tara with narrow eyes, “You broke my nose and insulted my intelligence, asshole. Unless you’ve already forgotten that.”

Tara laughed dryly, “You made me late to class, fall into some water, and cut up my apology flowers!”

Y/N stood up from the table and threw her book into her backpack before walking with heavy footsteps around the table and towards Tara, “Well, at least I had the decency to give you real flowers as an apology, you fucker.” She finished as she pushed Tara.

She stumbled back a bit at the force, but Tara quickly recovered. She clenched and unclenched her fist, trying not to hit Y/N again, no matter how much she wanted to.

“You are an insufferable, miserable, pretentious idiot who only causes harm.” Tara belittled as she poked Y/N’s chest.

Y/N remembered it all too well the last time this happened, but she wanted to be the one with the final say.

“At least my family hasn’t left me. At least I know what it’s like to have a functional family. Something you will never know.”

She regretted it as soon as the words left her lips. Tara’s face instantly reacted to the words, as if she had been shot. Tears began forming in her eyes at the mention of her family’s troubled past. Her chest began to heave, her vision got blurry with tears, and she turned away from Y/N. She pushed away Y/N’s hands and ignored the words that were being said, “Tara, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean it.” She didn't want to be around Y/N; she didn't want her to see her this weak and pathetic.

“You had no right, Y/N. No right at all to say that. I confided in you with that information,” Tara muttered, her voice laced with venom and hurt.

She started to walk away from Y/N, slowly, then quickly. Once she left the library, she sat on the stairs and broke down. Her quiet sobs filled the air as she tried to regain her breath, but nothing seemed to work. She stopped crying momentarily when the library doors swung open and hurried footsteps stopped behind her.

She wiped the tears from her eyes as someone sat beside her. “Tara, please. I'm sorry. I didn’t mean it.” Y/N whispered gently as her voice began to break, along with her heart.

She never meant to hurt Tara. She just wanted the girl to leave her alone. All she’s ever wanted in life was to be left alone, but now she can't stop herself from wanting to be alone with Tara, which terrified her. She hasn’t wanted anyone in her entire life, no one except Tara. And now, she had mentioned Tara’s traumatic past of failed family relationships and knew that Tara would never forgive her.

Tara didn’t even mean to tell Y/N about her family issues; Y/N had overheard the smaller girl confide in Anika one day at the library. Tara talked about her father leaving during Christmas, her mother cutting her older sister out of her life, then her older sister leaving one day without a trace. She also talked about how her alcoholic mother practically left her alone as a child. She then mentioned that Sam only returned when Tara was attacked; she didn’t go into details, but Y/N knew it pained her too much to discuss. Anika and Y/N both picked up on the meaning behind her words: no one has ever loved me enough to stay, so I will live and die alone, just as I have my entire life. When Tara was done talking, Y/N didn’t say anything; she just pushed a drawing toward her and smiled when Tara looked at her. It was a drawing of three people: Anika, Tara, and Y/N. They were all sitting on the floor next to a Christmas tree, opening presents and smiling. There was a fireplace that they sat in front of, and on the mantel were the words “Found Family.” They still weren’t on good terms, but that drawing made Tara feel slightly better about herself and Y/N.

Tara was pulled from her thoughts when she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders. Tara didn’t fight back when Y/N pulled her into her chest. Y/N placed her right hand on Tara’s head while rubbing her thumb against the girl’s head. Her left arm held Tara against her chest while she rubbed her back with her hand. She let Tara cry into her chest. She didn’t say anything as Tara took hiccuped breaths. She didn't say anything when Tara repeatedly said, ‘I hate you,’ with a weak voice. And she certainly didn't say anything when her own cheeks became wet with tears. Instead, she leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on Tara’s head, saying, ‘I know’ as she rubbed the girl’s back.

Once Tara had finished her sobs, she pulled back from Y/N’s chest. Y/N expected the girl to hit her again, to scream at her and tell her to die in a hole; she expected everything. She everything except what happened.

Tara let out a small, dry chuckle. She stood up from the stairs, wiped her eyes and cheeks, and looked down at Y/N. She had the most honest look in her eyes, something that Y/N had never seen in the girl before. “Thank you, Y/N. Thank you so much for showing me the real you. I am so glad that I didn’t waste my time on you. Seriously, thank you so much for sparing me the misery of knowing you beyond just an acquaintance,” Tara said with such an honest tone that Y/N had a hard time believing that Tara was insulting her.

“Okay.” That was all Y/N said. She stood up from the stairs and looked at Tara. They both had water-stained cheeks, red eyes, and noses, but one only felt relief while the other felt pain. Any friendship that they might have rekindled died that day. Tara said nothing as Y/N walked away with her bag over her shoulder. Y/N felt nothing but pain as she walked away from the beautiful girl she just made cry; tears of her own began free falling from her eyes the further she walked away.

Once Tara could no longer see Y/N, she slowly returned home. As she walked home, her heartbeat picked up, and she subconsciously walked quicker. She didn’t know why, but she had a gut feeling something terrible had happened. She pulled out her phone and called Sam, hoping her sister was still around. Y/N’s words cut deep, and she was terrified that Sam had left her again. When Sam didn’t answer, Tara started to hyperventilate. Her fingers began to shake, and her vision became blurry with tears as she clicked on Sam’s number and called her again. When Sam didn’t pick up the second time, Tara lost all hope. She started to sprint as she sucked in her breaths, trying to keep some air trapped in her lungs.

She burst through the apartment entrance and flew up the stairs, ignoring how her lungs screamed for air, her chest tightened, and breaths began rare, and she ignored how her once broken leg started to hurt.

Her shaky hands fumbled with the keys to her apartment as she tried to unlock the door quickly. Her breathing was still trying to catch itself as Tara pushed herself through the door and slammed it shut. “Sam? Sam! Are you here?” Tara called out into the empty apartment.

She searched through every room in the apartment, checked every bathroom and every closet, trying to find her sister. She screamed out for Sam in hopes that her sister might hear her pleas wherever she ran off to. She even looked under every bed to ensure Sam wasn’t pulling some disappearing prank on her like they did when they were kids. Once Tara had ransacked every nook and cranny of the apartment, she stumbled into Sam’s room and called her again. When Sam didn’t answer the third time, Tara cried herself to sleep on her sister’s bed, believing she genuinely pushed away the one person who had returned for her. She cried herself to sleep, believing that Y/N was right; no one would ever love her enough to stay.

When Sam woke up early in the morning, she gently pushed Danny’s arm off her waist. She rolled over on her side and immediately shot out of bed once she read 3:33 am on the clock. Sam quickly picked up her clothes and got dressed. She never meant to sleep over at Danny’s apartment. She worked a double and needed some sort of distraction. She ran through the apartment as she hunted down her phone and felt her heart shatter at the thirteen missed calls from Tara.

Sam didn’t tell Danny bye as she ran out of his apartment and returned to hers. She didn’t even need to use her key as she pushed open the unlocked door. “Tara?” Sam called out as she ran to her sister’s room. When Tara wasn’t there, she moved to her room and quietly pushed the door open.

Tara was sound asleep in Sam’s bed. She was curled up with a stuffed animal Sam had won her at a carnival earlier in the year. Sam turned off the overhead light as she walked over to her bed. She turned on the bedside lamp as she got under the covers, “Tara, wake up, baby,” she cooed gently while wrapping her arms around her sister. She saw her little sister’s smeared mascara and the dried tears on her cheeks. “Tara, I’m here now,” Sam said as she saw Tara start to stour in her sleep.

Tara slowly opened her swollen, red eyes and found herself in Sam’s arms. She let out a dry laugh before burying herself into Sam’s body, trying to get closer to Sam than she already was. Sam gently ran her fingers through Tara’s hair while whispering sweet words in her sister’s ear, trying to comfort the girl. Tara gently cried into Sam’s chest while she had a death grab on her back, scared that if she let go, Sam would disappear.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Friday the 15th, Tara dug through her closet for a sweater. She tried her best not to find one too ugly, hoping she would get lucky tonight. She groaned as she looked at her options: a ‘Hereditary’ one with a cartoonish drawing of the husband on fire or a black one with ‘Big Gift Energy’ on it with presents at the bottom. Tara decided to go with the latter. Once she put on her sweater, she did her makeup and hair while waiting for Anika. And just as promised, Anika arrived ten minutes before six.

Tara opened the door for Anika and Mindy and laughed when she saw their sweaters: Anika had half a scissor on hers, while Mindy had the other half. “A bit on the nose, don’t you think?” Tara questioned as she followed them out to the bottom floor.

“Eh, I think it gets the message across,” Mindy says as she throws an arm around Anika’s neck, pulling her girlfriend into her side. Tara laughed at her friend’s words as they walked onto the street.

“Does Sam know about this?” Mindy asked, even though she had a feeling what the answer might be.

“Uh, no. She does not.” Tara mumbled.

Mindy just looked at Anika, and they both decided they didn’t want to get into a fight with Tara about Sam, so they just kept quiet as they walked toward the frat house.

When the three arrived, they instantly smelt the alcohol. They could even see smoke seeping into the outside air. They walked up the house steps and quickly entered the kitchen. Loud music played over the speakers, rattling the house. The three find a bottle of SKKY. Mindy picks it up with a mischievous smirk, “Shall we?”

Anika and Tara smile at the girl as they pour each a shot and then another. After three rounds of shots, the girls call it quits.

“We are going to go sit on the couch,” Anika said to Tara as she and Mindy walked toward it with beers in their hands.

Tara waved at them and went to find herself a drink, her throat felt a little scratchy, and she let out a small cough, ‘probably from the vodka,’ she thought.

As she grabbed herself a beverage, a man approached her. “Hey, I haven’t seen you here before,” the man says with a sly smirk.

“Yeah, I’m just here with some friends. I’m Tara, by the way.” Tara slurred out. She was worse off than Mindy and Anika, as she was much smaller than both girls.

The man noticed that Tara was in a drunken state already and decided he would take advantage of that. He shook Tara’s hand, “Hi, I’m Frankie. So, are you a part of the Omega Beta Zeta sorority?” He asked with a cooky smile.

Tara grabbed a beer from the ice bucket and said, “No, but I’m thinking about rushing.”

“Well, if you need any help, I can always put in a good word for you.” Frankie said as he leaned toward Tara and opened the beer bottle for her, “Would you like to come up to my room?”

Tara looked around; she desperately needed to get laid tonight, even if it meant she had to hook up with an asshole. “Fuck it, yeah. Let’s do it,” she said as she downed her beer and followed Frankie toward the stairs.

As they started going up the stairs, someone called out to them, “Hey, Tara, why don’t we call it a night?”

Tara turned her head at the sound of the soft voice; Y/N was standing at the bottom of the stairs. She had an unreadable expression with narrow eyes. Her body was tense, and her fists were clenched. She wore a red sweater with a white Budweiser logo and had a Fanny pack across her torso. Tara almost laughed at how cute she looked.

“No, I think I’m still going to hang out here. You can leave, though,” Tara slurred out. She missed the way hurt flashed across Y/N’s face.

“Tara, you’re good down here; come on,” Y/N tried to reason with the girl. Even though it’s been a couple of weeks since their fight, she still cared for Tara.

Tara was going to respond to Y/N, but Frankie butted in, “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

Y/N ignored Frankie’s attempt to get a rise out of her. She looked at Tara as she spoke, “Tara, please. Let’s go.”

Tara walked down a few stairs, standing closer to you, “No, Y/N, it’s fine. I want to go up with him.”

Frankie walked down too and got close enough to Y/N’s face that she could smell the liquor on his breath, “See Y/N? It’s fine, the girl said she wants to, now fuck off,” he said as he roughly grabbed Tara, practically dragging the girl up the stairs.

“Get your fucking hands off of her,” Y/N stated as she pushed Frankie into the wall. Frankie let go of Tara as he hit the wall. When he turned around, he quickly tackled Y/N off the stairs and onto the floor.

Frankie went to straddle Y/N’s waist, but the girl quickly pulled out a switchblade from her boot, opened it, and held it to his neck, “Fucking try me, I dare you,” she hissed out, her eyes never leaving Frankie.

She pressed hard enough to draw blood, and with that, Frankie quickly pushed himself off the girl. “Fine, you can keep the little shit! It wouldn’t have been good anyways,” he said as his voice began to break before stomping up to his room.

Mindy and Anika reached down toward Y/N and pulled her up. Y/N ignored all the glances and stares sent her way as she moved toward the stairs to check on Tara.

Tara was breathing heavily as she pushed past Y/N and went out the door. Y/N quickly followed Tara, “Hey, Tara. What's going on?” Y/N called out, hoping the girl would slow down.

Tara’s breaths became labored as she approached a tree adjacent to the house. She pressed her back against the tree and slowly slid down to the ground. She clutched at her chest and tried to take deep breaths, but her throat seemed closed. She pulled her legs up into her chest, hoping she would disappear if she could make herself small enough.

Y/N jogged towards Tara and crouched down so she was at eye level with Tara. “Tara, love. What’s wrong?” Y/N asked; her voice quivered with worry. She didn’t know what was wrong with Tara; Y/N knew she wasn’t leaving the girl until she was breathing normally again.

Panic started settling in Tara as she realized she was having an asthma attack. She tried to get the words out, but only short, ragged breaths left her lips.

Y/N noted everything going on with Tara: clutched chest, sucking in breaths, can't breathe. Can’t breathe. Y/N quickly took off her Fanny pack and dug around until she found her own inhaler. Tara’s eyes lit up as she snatched it from Y/N’s hand. She shook it violently before removing the cap and taking a puff.

She waited thirty seconds before taking a second puff to be safe. Once her breathing slowly returned, she noticed Mindy and Anika staring at her worriedly. She also noticed that Y/N had one hand on each of her knees.

“Are you okay?” Y/N asked with such a gentle voice it brought tears to Tara’s eyes. Tara nodded while wiping away her tears with a small smile, “thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome, Tara,” Y/N said as she looked back at Mindy and Anika. The three had a silent conversation, then Y/N turned back to Tara, “Do you want to head back to your place or stay here a little longer?”

Tara looked up at Mindy and Anika. She was afraid that the girls were disappointed in her or angry with her, but she only found worry and concern on their faces. She looked down at Y/N before speaking, “I would like to stay here for a moment; I need to ground myself.”

“Is it alright if I sit beside you?” Y/N asked. She wanted to comfort the girl more but didn't want to overstep. This was the first time they’ve talked since their fight, and Y/N didn’t know where she stood with the girl.

Tara nodded, and Y/N stood up momentarily and sat down next to Tara, resting her back against the tree. “You guys can go. I’m okay to stay here with Y/N,” Tara gently said as she looked up toward the girls.

“Call me if anything happens, both of you,” Anika stated before walking off with Mindy.

Once they left, Tara looked over her right shoulder at Y/N and chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” Y/N asked with a light smile and a raised eyebrow.

“Your sweater is ugly,” Tara said with a voice crack. She still had tears in her eyes. They weren’t from her asthma attack but from Y/N seeing her put herself out there for an asshole.

Y/N laughed as she leaned against the tree and looked at Tara, “My sweater is ugly? Yours literally says ‘big gift energy!’’

Tara joined in with laughter and gave Y/N a fist pump. But when it came time for them to pull their hands back, neither moved. Instead, Tara slowly moved her hand and slightly opened it, hoping Y/N would catch on. When Y/N saw what Tara wanted, she opened her hand and intertwined her fingers. She then pulled their laced hands into her lap, causing Tara to rest her head against the taller girl’s shoulder. Y/N ignored the quick picture Anika took of them as she and Mindy walked away.

“You wanna talk about it?” Y/N asked after a few moments of silence. She didn’t know which ‘it’ she was referring to: their fight, Frankie, her asthma attack, or something else. She just knew that they needed to talk.

Tara nodded as she pulled away from Y/N’s shoulder; they both instantly missed the contact. “I have some things I need to say to you,” Tara husked out. Y/N nodded her head, waiting for the girl to go. “You are evil and vain. The first day I met you, I called you Satan and still call you that behind your back. All you are is mean, and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life, and mean.”

Y/N slightly winced at Tara’s words, “You said ‘mean’ twice.”

“And I meant it twice,” Tara said but gently squeezed Y/N’s hand, showing the girl that she was joking. “I also think you are the most intolerable person ever, but I would love to be the one to tolerate you.”

At that, Y/N’s ears perked up. Her heartbeat quickened as she looked around nervously. It was just her and Tara outside, but she couldn't help but feel eyes on her. Looking back down, she realized Tara was staring at her with yearning. “Tara, come on now. You’re drunk.”

“Nuh-uh,” Tara said as she let go of Y/N’s hand and cupped the girl’s cheeks. Y/N placed her hands on Tara’s wrists, trying to pull them away from her face. “Tara, you’re drunk, and I just helped you avoid making a mistake, let’s not make one out here.”

Tara whined at Y/N’s words and looked up at Y/N. This was the girl who made her life hell on the first day of school and made her have an emotional come apart at the library. But this was also the same girl that saved her from making the biggest mistake of her life, the same girl that helped her with her asthma attack mere moments ago. This Y/N in front of her was the same one who brought her flowers as an apology, and this was the same Y/N who drew pictures all over her papers. This was her Y/N that gave her a drawing of her and her found family. This was her Y/N, who came back to her after she broke her nose. This was her Y/N; no matter how hard Tara tried to push her away, Y/N would never leave her side.

Eyes darting between Y/N’s, Tara leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on Y/N’s lips. Y/N was taken aback but kissed the girl back. Only when Tara went to deepen the kiss did she pull away. “Tara, I won’t kiss you or touch you right now, you’re drunk, and I will not take advantage of that,” Y/N said against Tara’s lips.

“Okay,” Tara replied as she stood up and held out her hand for Y/N. She accepted the hand and stood up. “Will you walk me home?”

“Of course, let’s go,” Y/N replied as she walked with Tara. They didn’t speak the entire walk back to Tara’s apartment, but their minds were running wild with thoughts of the other.

Tara was the first to break the silence when they arrived at the Carpenter apartment, “Thank you, Y/N. I hate to think about where I would be without you right now.”

“You wouldn’t have even been at the party if I didn’t send you the wrong way,” Y/N said with a slightly guilty tone.

Tara thought about Y/N’s words for a moment. If Y/N had actually walked with Tara to class, then she wouldn’t have met Anika right away and formed a friendship. Sure, she would have still seen her, but they might not have been as close as they are now. Tara wouldn’t have punched Y/N in the face, and they also wouldn’t have had their fight in the library. Tara probably would have convinced Y/N to do their chemistry project together and bonded over it. Instead of going out tonight, she might have stayed over at Y/N’s apartment. She would have stayed up with the girl and probably kissed her as she did tonight. It seemed that no matter what roads Tara took, they all led right back to Y/N.

“All roads lead back to you, Y/N,” Tara said with a soft smile and an honest tone. Y/N wanted to kiss the shorter girl but refused to do so as long as the girl had alcohol in her system.

“Goodnight, Tara,” Y/N said as she leaned down and kissed Tara’s forehead, “get some sleep, cara mia.” And with that, Y/N returned home and went to sleep.

The last week before Christmas break had arrived: finals week. On the day of their Chemistry final, Y/N walked in with an ugly gray Christmas sweater with a picture of Julius Caesar in the middle. Above his head were words, “What are you gonna do, stab me?” And underneath his picture was “Julius Caesar 44 B.C.”

Tara let out a small laugh as she read the words, “I might do just that,” she said as Y/N sat down.

“Mhm?” Y/N questioned with an eyebrow raised. It was their first conversation since Tara kissed Y/N, and they both hoped it would go smoothly.

“Your shirt,” Tara said as she motioned towards it. Y/N looked a bit confused, then looked down at her shirt. “Oh, yeah,” she mumbled with a frown. “I kinda deserve it, don’t I?” She asked with a smile, but Tara saw right through it. Y/N was trying to make a joke to cover up the fact that their dynamic had changed.

Tara looked at Y/N, and the two made eye contact. For the first time since they’ve known each other, this was their first time actually seeing each other. Tara saw the frown constantly pulling on Y/N’s lips and how Y/N’s eyes spoke a thousand words for her. Those beautiful eyes that Tara got lost in on her first day were now full of hurt, regret, and love. Hurt: she hurt herself when she made Tara cry; Y/N hurt because she let a small moment of weakness destroy Tara. Regret: wishing she could take back everything she said to Tara, hoping she could start all over again. And love: Y/N wanted to wrap her arms around Tara and never let go; she wanted to protect the smaller girl from all the evil in the world. Y/N would give anything to feel Tara’s lips against hers, even for a fleeting second. She would live and die for the girl.

Y/N saw how Tara rubbed her left hand whenever she was left alone with Y/N as if she was afraid the taller girl would hurt her. She also saw how Tara seemed to please everyone, no matter how hard she had to work to get their approval. Y/N watched Tara push people away who weren’t from her hometown. Her heart broke when Tara looked at her like Y/N was someone who was only interested in her just to break her heart. Y/N had to act like she wouldn’t carve out her own heart to prove her loyalty to Tara.

The two sat in awkward silence until Anika arrived, and even then, it was still awkward silence. Once the final started, Tara would occasionally look over her left shoulder at Y/N and see the woman frantically writing down answers as if she went any slower; the answers would be erased from her mind.

When they completed the test, the three walked out of class, and Y/N placed her hand on Tara’s back. Surprised by the contact, Tara turned around to look at Y/N. She had a guilty expression on her face, something Tara was not used to seeing on the girl. “Can I talk to you?” Y/N softly asked while maintaining eye contact with Tara.

Tara searched Y/N’s eyes for anything dangerous but only found guilt and hurt. “Sure,” Tara gently said. Y/N nodded before leading Tara out of the science wing and into the parking lot.

“Where are we going, Y/N?” Tara questioned as she followed closely behind Y/N. Snow had started to fall, and Tara was more than ready to begin her Christmas break.

“Just a little further; I need to get something from my car,” Y/N replied as she faced Tara. “Don’t worry. I promise I won’t try and kill you.”

Tara didn’t find the joke funny but followed the girl nonetheless. When they reached Y/N’s car, the girl walked over to her passenger side door and opened it. She pulled out a large gift bag with the words ‘happy birthday.’ Tara went to see what was in the bag, but Y/N’s hand gently grabbed hers, stopping her. “Don’t look at it just yet. Wait until you get home. Please.” Y/N pleaded with gentle eyes and a soft smile.

Tara had a confused look as she asked, “Okay? Why do I have to wait?”

“So you don’t hate me,” Y/N replied with a smile.

“Why would I hate you?”

Y/N let out a small laugh before she replied, “Well, so you don’t hate me more than you already do.”

Tara’s heart dropped the girl’s words. All Tara wanted to do was tell Y/N that she could never hate her, not anymore. The girl has seen her at her worst but still decided to stick around. “I could never hate you, Y/N. Sometimes I want to kill you, though,” Tara said with a smile as she looked up at Y/N.

The taller girl gave Tara a soft smile as she cleared her throat, “Would it be alright with you if I walked you home?”

Tara didn’t respond; she switched the bag to her left hand and reached for Y/N’s with her right. She smiled at the girl’s hand before intertwining their fingers as they returned to Tara’s apartment.

The two walked back in silence, enjoying each other’s company. Y/N broke the silence, “So, what do you like to do?”

The air around them quickly filled with laughter. “There is no way you are trying to small talk me right now,” Tara asked between laughs while squeezing Y/N’s hand.

“Don’t judge me. I would like to know you on a more personal level. I hate the one I’m at right now,” Y/N said with a shrug of her shoulders, “But only if you want to know each other better.”

Tara bumped into Y/N’s side as she laughed at the taller girl’s words, “I would also like to know you more personally, Y/N. So then, what’s your favorite color?”

Both girls laughed at Tara’s question, but Y/N responded. The two talked about their interests and hobbies and shared a love for horror movies. Y/N never asked Tara about the scar on her hand, afraid that it would ruin whatever they were giving a chance. Tara never mentioned the kiss they shared; she was terrified it might push Y/N away if she told the girl she wasn’t that wasted and could still taste her lips.

When they arrived at Tara’s building, Y/N followed the girl to her apartment. “Follow me. I have something to give you,” Tara said as she pulled Y/N by her hand. Y/N smiled as she followed Tara mindlessly up to her apartment. She said nothing as Tara unlocked the apartment door and told Y/N to follow her inside.

The apartment was cozy, and it reminded Y/N a lot of her apartment with Anika. She followed Tara into her room. She watched Tara place her gift bag on her bed before she shuffled around in her closet and pulled out a small box wrapped in Christmas paper. “Here, this is for you. Wait until you get home to open it, though,” Tara said with a smile as she handed Y/N the box.

“Okay?” Y/N said as she accepted the small box; it was relatively light, and some moved inside when she shook it.

“Don’t shake it, you barbarian!” Tara said as she led Y/N back to the entrance of her apartment.

“Is it a bomb? I feel like that’s something you would do,” Y/N asked when she was just outside the doorway. Tara smiled as she leaned against the door frame, “Not telling.”

Y/N gave Tara a cheeky grin as she started to pull on the wrapping paper. Tara’s hand latched onto Y/N’s as she hissed out, “Not here, Y/N! Wait until you get home!”

When Tara’s hand landed on her own, Y/N felt her entire body heat up and could not contain the smile across her face. When she looked at Tara, she also had a giant smile plastered on her face. Tara’s eyes never left Y/N’s, while the taller girl’s eyes drifted down to Tara’s lips. The smaller girl caught this and decided to retake the extra step.

She slowly reached up with her left hand and cupped Y/N’s cheek, giving the taller girl time to pull away. When Y/N didn’t, Tara stood on her tippy toes and kissed the corner of Y/N’s mouth. Y/N’s cheeks instantly warmed as she grabbed Tara’s waist, she wanted to kiss the girl for real, but she didn’t want to rush anything. She wanted to know Tara before anything romantic happened between them. And Y/N could tell Tara wanted the same thing by how she looked up at her. They would both wait a thousand lifetimes for each other.

When they pulled apart from each other, they both had love in their eyes. “Okay?” Y/N asked as she started to move away from Tara.

“Okay,” Tara replied, waving at Y/N from her door. She watched Y/N round the corner and disappear.

Tara shut the door to the apartment with a smile, but it dropped as soon as she turned around. “Jesus Christ, Sam! You can’t just sneak up on me like that. You almost gave me a heart attack,” Tara exclaimed as she clutched her chest.

Sam just laughed as she followed Tara into her room. She noticed the bag on Tara’s bed and the giant smile that refused to leave her face. “So, was that her?” Sam asked with a sly smile.

“Who?” Tara questioned as she took off her shoes and sat on her bed. She was dying to open her present, but she was afraid that it might be something she didn’t want Sam to see.

“The devil you ran into on your first day.”

“Oh, yeah. That was her,” Tara said while looking down at her feet and playing with her fingers. “Wait, how’d you know?”

Sam smiled as she started to leave Tara’s room. “Because you have that glint in your eyes right now, just like you did when you first talked about her,” Sam said as she sent Tara a soft smile before leaving her room and shutting the door.

Tara groaned as she picked up the gift bag. Her curiosity couldn’t contain itself; she reached in, her face became beet red, and her heart rattled against her rib cage as she pulled out a picture.

It was a picture of her and Y/N leaning up against the tree just before Tara kissed her. They were both smiling in the picture while holding hands. Tara was looking down at their hands while Y/N was looking at Tara. She could see how Y/N’s eyes spoke for her, and she saw the love in Y/N's eyes. Tara flipped the card over and let out a small gasp.

In blue ink were the words, ‘I am sorry for how things started between us. I am sorry for the things that I have said to you; I should have treated you better. You deserve better than me, but if you would give me a chance, I would like to make it up to you. If you don’t want to, I completely understand and will respect that. But if you want to, you can text me whenever you like.

Your devil,

Y/N

XXX-XXX-XXXX’

Tara smiled as she finished reading the words. She checked to see if anything else was in the bag. She pulled out some tissue paper and found a stuffed bear. The bear had tan fur with black boxers and tiny hearts on them. The bear had on red devil horns with a red cape while holding a red trident. Tara grabbed her phone and went to send Y/N a picture of it to thank her, but she found that Y/N had already texted her with a photo.

The picture was of Y/N holding up a reversible angel+devil plushie, but with the devil side showing. The plushie had a frown with furrowed eyebrows, and Y/N was making the same face. The text said, “Thank you for the gift, Tara. I also appreciated the note you gave me that had handwritten lyrics to ‘Mean’ followed by your number that said ‘I would really like it if you texted me-or not. I don’t care,’ It kinda sends a mixed message, but I loved it either way. Happy belated birthday, Tara.”

Tara smiled at the words before replying, “I expect the devil side always to be showing <3”. She then turned off her phone and slept with her devil in her arms.

#tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #scream #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #sam carpenter

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serverusslaype · 6 months

Text

Shameless, pt. 14

Severus Snape x professor!reader fic

Masterpost & other things!

hello.... this is a shorter chapter than usual, but i thought i'd use it to sort of flesh out the idea of what is currently going through their minds! pls forgive me </3

the majority of this chapter is smutty. i will say that. so i do apologise to the readers who don't enjoy reading such things :(. i will mark it with the usual big red *.

i hope you guys are happy and healthy because that's what we love to see!! did you have a good halloween? i dressed up as sexy Snape lmfao.

warnings: smut, slight degradation?, tiny bit of bdsm idk? help, (like it's so so minor, trust me) MINORS DNI!!, angst at the end so pls prepare yourselves im sorry

"Again." Severus demanded, his voice strict and firm as he watched you from his desk, practicing the Patronus charm with a heaving chest. You were growing immensely tired at this point, however, Severus was not yielding. He was determined for you to learn this charm whether you could handle it or not. Your safety was his priority.

Beads of sweat trickled down your temple as a deep sigh left your parted lips. "I'm trying, Severus," You whined, wincing a tad as your muscles began to ache. You'd been at this for almost two hours straight now, and your body was beginning to pay for it. "I don't know why it's not working, this memory worked with Lupin!" A frustrated cry slipped from you as you huffed.

"Perhaps that memory is not your happiest anymore," Severus mused, folding his arms against his chest as he leant against the edge of his desk, observing your tired body. "Has anything happened recently that rivals your previous chosen memory?" He asked with a curious tone, quirking a brow. You glanced at him and swallowed as your cheeks flushed an embarrassingly deep shade of red. The only thing that could have possibly changed was your recent encounter with Severus in his office. In that moment, you'd never felt happier. You'd never felt such a strong, powerful feeling towards another person before - you'd almost confessed your true feelings to him. ...Twice.

"Erm," you coughed, looking away from him, "maybe, I don't know." You said quietly as you stood up straight, brushing your hair behind your ear. A deep chuckle reached your ears as you looked up at Severus with burning cheeks. A devious smirk was painted across his face, and instantly you knew that he knew exactly what had changed.

"Ah," he hummed, unable to contain his proud smile, "of course."

You rolled your eyes at him, groaning slightly. "Took you long enough." Another sigh left your lips again, though this time it was softer. With your eyes glued to him, you took a moment to appreciate how Severus looked currently - the way he leant against the edge of his desk accentuated his lean figure; the black coat that was tugged tightly against his torso complemented his thick, strong body perfectly. You even felt yourself becoming a little... distracted.

"May I ask what your... previous memory was?" Severus asked, standing up from his desk and stalking towards you in a slow manner, tucking his hands behind his back. Your breath hitched a tad as he got closer and closer, his signature scent filling your nostrils as he stopped just a foot in front of you. The pounding of your heart grew louder in your ears as he stared down at you with a curious sparkle in his black eyes.

"It was the, erm, you know when we danced... together?" Your voice was as soft as velvet as you spoke, entrancing Severus as his eyes remained glued to yours. He raised a hand to your cheek and gently brushed the back of his knuckles against it, sending a shiver down your spine. You smiled up at him and brought your hand up to hold it against his.

"That was the happiest moment you could think of?" Severus asked, his brows furrowing together as he frowned at you, evidently confused. Surely, for a sweet, kind person such as you, you'd have a plentiful amount of happy memories to choose from - he was in disbelief that such a small, almost insignificant moment between the two of you brought you so much happiness.

"Yeah," You laughed quietly, pursing your smiling lips as he slowly pulled his hand away from your cheek but kept a hold of your own hand. He absentmindedly played with your fingers, glancing between them and your eyes. "That was a special moment to me."

Severus didn't speak, he kept quiet for the time being, instead savouring the soft moment between the two of you. The corners of his lips gradually tugged upwards into a small smile as he stared at you, quite obviously in awe. You blinked up at him, smiling back, your heart almost bursting at the sweet sight.

As many times as he smiled at you, you didn't think you'd ever get used to it - it was so surreal to see Severus with a smile on his face, and every time you did, you'd melt.

"Alright," Severus sighed gently as he kept his voice quiet. "One more time." He said, bringing your hand up to his lips to kiss your knuckles tenderly. Your smile widened at his action. "Speak it clearly."

You nodded and watched as he released your hand, stepping backwards to give you some space. Taking a slow and deep breath, you focused yourself, pointing your wand in front of you as you envisioned the memory of you and Severus intertwined together on his desk. "Expecto Patronum!" You exclaimed, eyes widening in shock as a spark of blue-white light sprouted from the tip of your wand. It only lasted a few moments, but as you glanced at Severus, you couldn't help but grin at the proud expression painted across his features. "I've almost got it."

"Almost, yes." Severus agreed as his dark eyes flicked to yours, softening. "Well done." He said, a small smile gracing his lips. Your grin brightened, and you stepped towards him, sheathing your wand in your dress pocket.

"It's quite incredible what a good teacher can do." You muttered with a smirk as you folded your arms against your chest, tilting your head as you gazed up at Severus. He arched a brow at you, clocking your rather flirtatious tone.

"I believe your previous words were 'it helps a lot when you have a teacher you like'." Severus said flatly. You were a little astounded at how he remembered something you said to him so long ago.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, "Yes, well, you were rather unlikeable back in the day." You had to fight back a giggle as Severus rolled his eyes at your reply.

"You know, you and your classmates were just as unlikeable." Severus said and took a step towards you, narrowing his eyes. Your breath hitched once more as he was inches away from you. "Burning my cauldrons, destroying my equipment," He drawled with a sharp tongue, cocking his head as he stared down at you; an intimidating flicker in his black eyes. You almost shivered under his heavy glower, your chest tightening and your legs tingling. "Disrupting my lessons." Severus added, tutting. Suddenly, you felt like you were back at school as you stood in front of him, speechless and nervous. He could turn you into a sputtering mess so easily - even with just one look you were like putty in his hands.

"I... you..." You stuttered over your words with fluttering eyes as Severus leaned down into your face, his hot breath tickling your flushing cheeks. Your chest rose and fell in short bursts as your breaths became ragged and wanting, your body instinctively succumbing to him. As you held his gaze, you felt like you couldn't breathe - it was almost like your whole body was being squeezed in a deathgrip, and your mind was slowly becoming clouded with rather distasteful thoughts involving you and him.

"Hmm," Severus hummed deeply, raising a hand to tilt your chin up with his index finger, "speechless, for once." The corners of his lips curled up to form a devious smirk, evidently pleased with how easily he had turned you into a stammering mess. "Suddenly, I remember what peace and quiet means." He added sarcastically, and you turned your attention to the right, attempting to regain your composure.

"Shut up." You scoffed, turning your head back to stare at him, offering a look of disbelief.

"Feeling brave, are we, Miss L/N?" Severus took another step towards you with a wicked smirk, his chest brushing against yours, sending your body into a shivering mess. "That attitude of yours needs to go, don't you think?" His voice was quiet now, yet it still harnessed an authoritative twinge to it, and that only spurred you on more.

"Definitely not." You shot back, testing him. He was clearly playing a game with you, and you wanted to see just how far he would go.

Severus quirked a brow shortly before using his cold hand to grab your jaw gently, but with just enough force to ensure you knew he was the one in charge. You gasped as his cold skin met with your hot skin, shooting a delicious shiver down his spine. An excited tingle rushed through your burning hot body as he squeezed your jaw a tad; brushing his thumb over your bottom lip. Severus's other hand flew to grab at your hip, pulling you taut against him. A short yet sweet moan slipped from your lips at the body-to-body contact, and suddenly, you felt every last bit of self-respect vanish from you as you melted into his addicting touch.

"So disrespectful," Severus murmured, pushing his face towards yours, "perhaps a reminder is in order." He shifted his hand from your waist to your wrists and grabbed them, his lips teasingly brushing against yours. You leant forwards, about to kiss him, and he pulled away, drawing a wanting whine from your parted lips. Even through the dark dimness of his office, he selfishly drank in the beautiful sight of you, gazing at your pretty lips and your flushed, rosy cheeks.

"Sev-," You whined, voice breathless and desperate.

"Quiet." Severus ordered with a stern tone. Instantly, with wide, dark eyes, you shut your mouth. Usually you wouldn't fall so easily to his commands, however, he currently had you following them like a lovesick puppy.

Severus released your jaw from the grip of his hand and cooly retrieved his wand from his sleeve. Your curious eyes fell to his slender and pale fingers as they curled around the obsidian wand, watching on as he teasingly traced the tip of it up the side of your waist and over your ribs, pulling a breathy gasp from your mouth. His eyes flicked up to yours at the sound, his mouth quirking upwards. Your body jerked at the ticklish sensation; goosebumps littering your skin.

Reaching your neck, he pressed it a little harder, trailing it up towards your jaw and leaving a long, pink line behind upon your skin. His other hand, that held your wrists captive, lifted them above your head, and he aimed the tip of his wand at them.

"Fulgari." Severus whispered, and suddenly you felt a rope tighten around your wrists, binding them. You inhaled sharply at the sensation and you glanced up to see that he'd bound your wrists together. As you looked back down, his eyes glittered wickedly, and you couldn't help but feel a bolt of excitement shoot through you. He placed his wand back up his black sleeve.

Before you could say another word, a cold hand had snaked underneath the skirt of your dress and his fingertips inched slowly up your legs, finding your luscious thighs. You let out a quiet cry of pleasure as Severus kneaded your flesh; his thumb dancing dangerously close to your panties. Despite his hand holding your bound wrists, your arms began to ache from holding them above your head - he may have been holding your wrists, but he wasn't holding them up. Severus was merely clutching them in a show of dominance. He shifted the hand underneath your skirt up towards your panties, his index finger curling around the soaked gusset.

"So wet for me already," he groaned, brushing his thumb against the wet material, "little slut." A flash of hunger flickered across his hardened eyes. Severus tugged the material to the side, his knuckles brushing against your wetness, drawing another sweet cry of pleasure from your quivering lips. Severus nearly lost control of himself right then and there, and so he paused for a moment to gather himself.

"Not so brave now, are you, Y/N?" Severus muttered, a devilish smirk crossing his features as he pressed his lips against your ear; teeth nipping at the lobe of it. The way his breathless voice uttered your name almost sent you into orbit, and you had to squeeze your eyes shut to bring yourself back down to Earth.

Severus pressed a cold digit against your clit, a sharp cry falling from your lips as he began to circle it at a teasingly slow pace; your eyebrows shooting together in a show of utter pleasure. Your body trembled as he placed his whole hand underneath your wet panties, pressing his palm against your pussy, an uncontrollable shiver shuddering through your body as the contrast of his cold hand against your burning hot core shocked you like an electric volt.

A breathless moan flew out of you at the contact, your throat beginning to burn from how heavily you'd been breathing. "Fuck!" You hissed, your hips instinctively rocking against his hand; desperate to find some sort of friction. Severus let out an almost evil chuckle and your eyes shot open at the noise. Before you could cuss him out, he dipped two fingers inside of you, curling them swiftly, another tingle of pleasure making you quiver. You cried out at the sensation as he began to pump his fingers inside of you, an unruly amount of moans beginning to slip from your trembling lips. Severus threw his mouth against yours without a second thought, swallowing your moans greedily, diving his tongue into your mouth as if to silence you. You kissed him back harshly, pulling your bound wrists free from his grasp and looping them around his neck.

Desperately, you pulled Severus closer to you with your tied wrists, your knees beginning to buckle as you neared your high. "Hnngh, Sev-," You whined through sloppy kisses, saliva coating both of your lips as you pulled away with a wet smooch, unable to focus on him as he brought you closer and closer to your climax. You felt that familiar feeling build up inside of you like a branch about to snap from immense pressure.

Immediately, Severus's free hand flew to your waist to hold you up as he felt you slipping from his grip, his fingers inside of you picking up quite a quick pace. Your head fell backwards from the overwhelming sensation growing within your belly, and you used your bound wrists in a vain attempt to hold yourself up as they hung around his neck; your spasming fingers digging into his upper back. "Fuck-fuck-fuck!" You cried out as he latched his lips onto your neck, biting and sucking at it like a crazed animal. "Sev, I'm gonna- I'm..." Your thighs squeezed around his hand and your toes curled as you felt that branch cracking, splitting and finally snapping. Your orgasm blew through you like an explosive bomb; your pulsing walls clenching around his fingers as you came. Severus shifted his attention from your neck to your earlobe, using the tip of his tongue to lick at it; his heavy, panting breaths and the rush of your blood being the only two things you could hear.

"Always such a good girl for me," Severus murmured into your ear, and you rocked your hips against his hand again, whimpering at his praise. Gods, it drove you fucking crazy when he called you that. "Gorgeous." He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the spot of skin just below your ear.

As you let your head fall forwards, you nudged your nose against his cheek, prompting him to move his head back to gaze at you. His hungry, black eyes were blown and wide, like a predator hunting its prey. With heavy-lidded eyes, you smiled lazily and leaned in to press a messy kiss upon Severus's wet, swollen lips. As he pulled his fingers out from you, you whined a bit, mourning the loss of his touch. He indulged your kisses, and kissed you back forcefully, his tongue delving past your lips and into your mouth again.

With greedy hands, Severus quickly slipped them underneath your thighs and hitched you upwards, guiding them to wrap around his waist. Your bound wrists still hung around his neck as he leaned forwards slightly, aiming his torso at a forty-five degree angle. You tightened your legs around his waist as his hands left your sweating body to find his trousers; deft and long fingers swiftly unbuckling them and letting them fall lazily around his hips. He quickly tugged down his boxers and lined himself up against your dripping slit, pushing his cock inside of you without another word. You cried out at the fullness and clenched around him, drawing a deep, guttural groan from Severus as his hands found your bum, holding you up as he began to guide you up and down. Strings of needy whimpers and moans left your lips as you tugged him closer with your arms locked around his neck, directing his face to yours. You leaned forwards and crashed your lips against his again, kissing him with such passion and raw need that he almost lost his footing.

You gasped as Severus let you fall down completely onto him. "Jesus-!" You exclaimed and squeezed your eyes shut, your mouth flying open. A wild, strangled moan fell out of it afterwards as your hands tried to clutch onto the material of his jacket upon his back but to no avail.

You weren't exactly sure how you two always found yourselves tangled up with one another each time you were in this very room, however, in this current sticky, hot moment, you couldn't care less. Severus was fucking you like a deranged animal, panting heavily in your ears, your legs burning and aching as they were clamped around his waist. You felt that hotness begin to pool in your belly once more.

Severus pulled away from your lips with a throaty moan as you buried your nails into his scalp, fisting the long locks of his black hair. "D'you know- fuck," he growled as he throttled into you, his voice raspy, "how many times I've fantasised about this? How many times I've touched myself thinking about this moment?" He finished, glistening eyes burning into yours as he stared at you with parted lips. Your lungs felt empty as his words drilled into you, a helpless whimper being the only thing you could respond with. "You're mine." Severus hissed as your brain melted; his cock buried so deep within you that you thought you'd pass out from the immense amount of pleasure that was seeping into your bones; rendering your body senseless.

The way he deemed you his had truly ruined you. You were his. Nobody else's. You knew it from the first moment he had you trapped against that wall a year ago - the second his invigorating and intoxicating scent surrounded you, the way he'd glared down at you with those beautiful yet haunting black eyes, you knew you were fucked. You were never Ben's. He was merely a distraction, perhaps an interlude, if you will. You and Severus were always bound to be together.

And now, you just needed to rid yourself of the parasite named Ben.

"I'm yours," You whispered, lifting your head up to gaze at Severus with glossy, heavy-lidded eyes; a hazy look lingering within them. "Yours." You repeated breathlessly, inducing another deep growl from the man that held you captive with his powerful hands.

Severus's lips curled at the edges as he stared at you, "Smart girl." He muttered, kissing you with a smirk, nipping your lips with his teeth. You squealed as his pace became sloppy and careless, sheathing his whole length inside of you with every thrust. Gods, he was ruining you.

And you loved every second of it.

"Severus," You panted with a sweet moan, tears beginning to burn your eyes as the soul-shattering pleasure was slowly becoming too much to bear. His eyes fluttered as you moaned his name. "I can't-" You sobbed, your toes curling as they tingled, turning numb.

"Yes, you can, you can take it, my love," Severus whispered, kissing your cheek in a tender fashion, silently encouraging you. "You can take me." He added, pressing his cheek against your own flushed one. You felt sweat trickle down your temple as Severus fucked into you ruthlessly, the ever-tightening coil buried in your belly at it's breaking point.

With his gentle words of encouragement, you forced yourself to hold out a little longer for Severus, your throbbing legs tightening like an anaconda around his waist. You were certain that they'd cramp up at any second now. Severus stumbled forwards and one hand left your body to catch himself, his palm landing on his desk. Gently but quickly, he let your bum rest against the flat surface as he continued thrusting into you messily, evidently nearing his climax.

"You're doing so well," Severus muttered against your lips, a hand coming to squeeze your waist, pulling a delightful moan from your quivering mouth. "Doing so good, my sweet girl."

Merlin's beard, you almost lost it right there. Hearing him call you that almost had you tumbling over the edge without a second thought. You felt like you were dreaming at this point - your mind was so hazy and jaded with orgasmic pleasure that you couldn't tell the difference between reality and fantasy.

Was this real?

Gods, you hoped so.

The slaps of your flesh filled the room and you couldn't hold back any longer. You couldn't even form a sentence, let alone mumble a thing as your second orgasm rocked through you, your body jerking as Severus continued to slam into you carelessly, his thrusts quickly becoming abrupt and sloppy. You cried out a strangled string of moans as he filled you up with his thick cock. Severus's spent body leaned over you as he came; the tips of his raven-black locks tickling your flushed, red and sweaty cheeks.

The pair of you remained still, despite your heaving chests and trembling bodies. A toothy, opened mouth grin broke out on your face as you stared up at Severus who was still recovering from the Earth-shattering orgasm that had just rattled through his body. You laughed softly, going to move your hands to cup his cheeks, though you quickly realised that they were still bound together from Severus's spell earlier.

"My wrists," You mumbled, tugging at his neck with a small smile. "Would you mind?"

"Ah," Severus hummed, moving a hand to lift your tied wrists from his neck. He held them in front of him, hesitating for a moment. "I seem to prefer you like this." He joked, eyes flicking up playfully to look at you.

"Don't push it." You laughed, watching as he retrieved his black wand from his sleeve.

A sly smirk tickled his lips as he glanced down at your wrists, pointing his wand at the binds. "Emancipare." He muttered, a content hum slipping from your mouth as you rubbed the sore area of skin.

"Thank you." You smiled up at Severus, finally shifting your hands to cup his flushed cheeks. He looked away from you bashfully; long black eyelashes hiding his eyes like he was too shy to look at you.

Severus cleared his throat, "...You're welcome."

You pulled his face down towards you and kissed him softly, your legs still around his waist, though this time they were resting gently around it. Severus kissed you back, slowly moving a hand to cup your cheek, his thumb sweetly brushing it like it was the most delicate thing in the world. You'd almost forgotten that he was still inside of you, and so as he moved, you gasped; a cheeky smirk reaching his lips at your reaction.

Severus moved his hips again, the hot warmth and sense of comfort that your pussy brought him was addicting - as were the noises that he drew from you. Your brows shot upwards, accompanied with a soft moan as he pulled almost all of himself out of you, before slowly thrusting back into you.

You had to take a moment to breathe before you spoke. "Can't help yourself, can you?" You grinned, pressing another kiss to his lips as he kept a slow pace in you.

"No," Severus muttered against your soft lips, "not when it's you." He whispered, making your heart flutter.

"Not when it's me?" You pulled away from the comforting touch of his kisses, looking up at him with big eyes. He nudged the tip of your nose with his own.

Severus sighed, gazing at you with soft eyes, "You know what I mean."

Before you could say another word, he silenced you with another sweet kiss, and you melted into his touch, any other thought of what you were going to say to him vanishing. Severus resumed his slow, gentle thrusts, plucking another handful of quiet moans from your lips. With every deep thrust, your legs twitched; your body rather overly sensitive from before. Severus noticed your jerks, and he slowed his pace even further, not wanting to push you too far. He adored watching how your body reacted to him, but he knew when you couldn't take anymore.

As the two of you continued to gently kiss each other, your mind was clouding again as you felt his hands caress your figure, thumbs brushing over you. You found lost yourself in the transcendental feeling once more. You gasped as you felt his cool hands slip to the underneath of your thighs, tickling your hot skin; erupting goosebumps.

Severus pulled away for a moment, marvelling at you from above, a comfortable silence encapsulating the both of you as you made love. Your eyes followed him, glazed over his angular face, quietly admiring how gorgeous he truly was. The sheen of sweat that sat upon his skin made him look like a marble statue, and you couldn't help but wonder how you'd gotten so lucky.

I love you, you wanted to say.

I adore you, your mind was begging you to whisper to him.

You opened your mouth a tad, as if to say what you wanted, however, you decided against it. You weren't exactly sure if this was the right time to say something so big, and you certainly didn't want to disrupt this perfect moment. As much as you wanted to praise Severus, just to tell him how much you truly adored him, you couldn't bring yourself to do so. A small, yet sharp burst of pain struck your heart as you remembered how he shut himself off from you when you'd danced together right in this very room, and you feared what he might do if you revealed your true feelings for him. You were almost certain he'd run away. You couldn't exactly imagine him reacting well to it. He... didn't seem like the type.

Little did you know, Severus was also umming and erring on the same idea. It was torture for him. He wanted you to say it first. Could you imagine the chaos if he told you he'd fallen in love with you? Gods, it seemed like the two of you were nothing but fuck-buddies at this point - you were still with Ben, regretfully, and so what could Severus do but simmer in his raging jealousy and bitterness? Sure, he got the good parts of you, but Ben got to call you his. For now. And that's what Severus truly desired. He wanted the honour of calling you his. The two of you might've said it earlier, but you were so lost in the utter raw madness of that animalistic sex that the thought of it being a heat-of-the-moment thing began to plague his racing mind. Why wouldn't you say you were 'his' when his cock was buried so deep inside of you? It'd be fucking awkward if you didn't.

Did you feel the same way about him as he did you? Or was this some sort of lustful fantasy for you? He remembered that you were still with Ben - surely if you felt so strongly about him, you would have ended it with Bluewater as soon as possible. But you hadn't. Maybe this was some sort of fantasy for you. He winced at the thought. Why on Earth did he believe that you'd want to be with some old, grumpy and ugly man like him? He felt like a complete dunderhead.

Severus had fallen in love with you, and now realising it, he suddenly wished that he'd spoken to you about this shit before the two of you fell into such a deep, messy and fucked up rabbit-hole. His love for you was incredibly strong, and ultimately it scared him. In all honesty, he didn't believe he was deserving of having someone care for him, let alone love him. Severus was known to be cruel, unfeeling and rude - so why should he deserve someone as sweet as you? He'd been nothing but horrible all his life, he had even been a Death Eater, for Merlin's sake. And no Death Eater deserved a happy ending. They were known to be awful, heinous people.

As Severus's mind continued to race, he began to doubt if he'd survive another heartbreak. He'd just about managed it with Lily, much less walking in on her lifeless, dead body. That had truly broken him. He dreaded to think about what losing you would do to him.

And suddenly, he felt himself pulled towards the idea of pushing you away, just to save himself the pain.

And you.

Gods, you didn't deserve any of this. Severus was selfish to have even pursued you. But he couldn't help himself - something about you had just drawn him in like a moth to a flame.

"Hey," Your soft voice pulled Severus from his hellish thoughts, and his distracted eyes darted down to your worried ones. "What are you thinking about?" You asked, careful to keep your voice quiet and gentle.

"Nothing, Y/N," Severus muttered, forcing a smile onto his lips as he leant down to press a tender kiss to your forehead. "I think I'm just... tired." He added quietly, and slowly pulled himself out of you. A worried frown took hold of your features as you watched him reach for a cloth to clean himself.

"Oh," You swallowed, trying to fight back the lump that was beginning to form in your throat. Was he running again? You weren't sure, but you were going to find out. You couldn't deal with that heartbreak again, especially not when you were so deep in with him now. "Are you sure, Sev?" You asked hesitantly, suddenly feeling rather nervous. Was it something you did or said?

"Positive." Severus nodded, his cloth-less hand moving forwards to lift up your skirt so he could wipe away any mess that had accumulated between your thighs. You remained silent as he cleaned you, and you noticed that a solemn look had gathered on his face. This wasn't looking good, but what could you do? He wasn't willing to talk about it, clearly, and you didn't want to push him any further than he wanted.

"I enjoyed tonight." You said softly, though it was more as of a way to see what he thought. You kept your eyes on his hands.

"As did I." Severus replied, his eyes avoiding yours, though you caught the end of a small, sad smile upon his lips. Everything he was doing wasn't pointing to something good.

"I suppose I should head back," you forced a smile onto your face, "it's getting late." You hummed, glancing at the clock on his wall. Almost quarter to eleven o'clock at night. That smile soon fell as you watched Severus stand up straight, his face blank. You adjusted your dress and slipped off of his desk to stand in front of him.

"Yes." Was all he said, though his eyes said something entirely different. They looked... sad.

"...Okay." An awkward smile slipped onto your face as you nodded. Your head was currently spinning. What did you do for him to act like this? You sped through the memories of this evening, from the moment you walked through the door to the exact moment he'd suddenly flipped. Nothing was sticking out, and that worried you. Was it just you? Was it how you looked that randomly turned him off? You suddenly felt very self-conscious.

An uncomfortable silence engulfed the two of you.

A few quiet moments passed before Severus's deep, serious voice pierced through it. "I won't be able to see you tomorrow evening for Patronus lessons. I have a few students in detention."

"Right." You sighed softly, pursing your lips. Your hunch was right - he was distancing himself again. Maybe he just needed some time to himself, and he'd come right. He'd realise that he was being ridiculous, surely.

Severus hummed, silently analysing your stiff body. "I'll send you an owl to let you know when I next have a free evening." You frowned at him, confused and a little hurt.

"An owl? Can't you just come and see me?"

"I have a lot of work to catch up on." Severus said, and noticed how his usual soft tone had vanished, a stern one taking its place. He sighed through his nose as he stared at you, and it suddenly felt as if you were a nuisance to him.

"Have I done something wrong?" You asked softly, not willing to leave without an answer as to why he was acting so off towards you.

"No, you have not," Severus's eyes flicked to the right as he turned away from you, stepping to his desk chair. "Like I said, I'm just tired."

You sucked in your bottom lip, frustrated. "Why are you acting like this?" You questioned him and stepped forwards so you were stood in front of his desk as he sat in his chair. Severus closed his eyes and raised two fingers to massage his temples - a sign you'd come to realise that he was either getting a headache, or becoming overly irritated.

"Acting like what?" He groaned, and your brows knitted together at his behaviour, twisting your features into a sour expression. Severus opened his eyes again, though this time you did notice how red the whites of them were - perhaps he truly was tired. Regardless of whether he was tired or not, he didn't have a right to treat you like some cumbersome student, especially after what had just happened. It felt as if he was tossing you aside like some dirty laundry.

"Sev-," you scoffed and threw your hands against your face, sighing deeply, "how can you be so blind to this?" You asked as you brought your hands down and folded them against your chest. "You're acting like we didn't just fuck on your desk, I mean- you're acting like I just came in here to ask for some sort of tedious favour."

"Save your breath, Y/N," Severus shut his eyes again, obviously not willing to continue this conversation. As he spoke your name, a pang shot through his chest, and he almost winced at the pain. It only reminded him of what ran through his head only moments ago. "We can talk about this another time. For now, I have work to do." As he opened his eyes once more, he kept them glued to the surface of his desk; reaching a hand out to pull an unmarked assignment towards him. All he wanted to do was bury himself in his work.

He doesn't feel the same, your mind suddenly echoed, and your felt your throat tighten as you stared at him. You fell in love with him, but he didn't fall in love with you, and that was that. You'd just become his fucktoy, an outlet for his stress-relief after a hard day at work. A fool, that's what you were. All of those sweet, soft moments between the two of you were nothing but a fantasy, a fake sense of reality, and you'd fallen for it. The pet names, the tender touches... you'd read him so wrong - to you, right now, you believed that Severus only wanted you for your body, and not your heart. You meant nothing to him, but he meant everything to you.

But what about that time when you'd made love? Did he not feel anything towards you then? Was that just some sort of pathetic attempt of him feeling some sort of affection?

With disbelieving eyes, you watched as he proceeded to dip his quill in the ink-pot. "You're kidding, right?" You guffawed at him, blinking as if he'd just told a terrible joke. His jaw clenched.

"Please, just leave me be." Severus's voice was strict, and you could tell that he was very much serious about this. There was no way you could change his mind, and that only hurt you further. Your eyes burned, and your throat suddenly possessed a lump at the back of it.

"Fine." You whispered and inhaled sharply, attempting to swallow the sobs that were so desperately fighting to slip out of your mouth. But you refused to let Severus see your tears. Without another wasted second, you spun around and stormed towards his door, reaching out a shaking hand to grab the handle. You waited for a moment before opening it, as if half expecting Severus to take back his words, and admit how wrong he was.

But, nothing came. No words, no hand grabbing yours, nothing. The only thing you heard was the metal tip of his quill scratching against the parchment on his desk. A raging surge of anger throttled through you like a wild, frenzied animal, and you turned around, opening your mouth as if to berate him. But you couldn't. As much as you despised him in this current moment, you couldn't hurt him. Not with your words at least. Severus didn't even shift a limb to look up at you, he kept his head down, continuing to scrawl away, pretending like he didn't just tell you to get lost after fucking you.

And so you turned back around with a burning throat, wrenching his door open and slamming it behind you with tears in your eyes. It felt like you couldn't breathe as you stomped down the halls of the dungeons, making your way back to your quarters. What the fuck was your problem with going for such deranged, awful men? Did you hate yourself? Is that why you put yourself in these situations?

You couldn't deal with Severus's back-and-forth shit anymore, he'd hurt you more than enough times. Even if you were in love with him, and he wasn't with you, you were just going to have to deal with it. You got yourself into this fucked up mess, and you were going to get yourself out of it.

let me know what you thought, if you hate me im sorry. ITS FOR THE PLOT!!

apologies for the long, long delay of an update, i was just taking a loong break. <3 i hope you guys are doing okay!!

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