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#and im really beginning to realize how much my parents' opinions dont matter.. they wont like my adhd or my being trans either
autistic-shaiapouf · 3 years
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I uh. think I might get the 2nd vaccine dose today
#i am tearing myself to pieces over this :////#i KNOW its safe and i KNOW my right wing family is wrong i know i know i know but my anxiety wont let it go#i didnt really react at all to the first one and i know I'll be okay with the 2nd one; i know so many ppl who got it and are okay#and im really beginning to realize how much my parents' opinions dont matter.. they wont like my adhd or my being trans either#and those 2 are fundamental to who i am... this is such a huge psychological upheaval for me and im gonna need so much help after this#im so nervous but know getting the 2nd dose is good; also i may not be so lucky if i get covid again#my anxiety about coming out is making all my nerve stuff just a little worse too; im taking stock of all my symptoms right now#like. growing up while watching the radicalization happen is like. you grow up with your family saying the sky is red and you KNOW#you KNOW that it's blue! ppl you trust tell you it's blue! but you're so so afraid of what will happen if you try to counter it#the idea of being able to leave is something i never could've considered until recently.. i have an apartment deposit down and everything#i know I'll be okay after the shot. i know i know. my family doesnt have a right to know and it's not like they'll believe me anyways#it's all gonna come to a head next week but i really wanna assert myself as a person who makes independent choices#i dont wanna live like this anymore and i think I'll be able to get out soon.. so uh. wish me luck i guess#but yeah.. vaccine......... i want to try and we're gonna have to keep me calm the whole wait time afterwards#im gonna have to talk to all the medical staff to feel okay too#aaaaaa i hate my anxiety i hate hate hate hate hate this; it's gonna all reach fever pitch and fall apart from there#i do think they've earned a wake up call; i want them to have no choice but to LOOK#anyways here's a monologue in the tags i guess; i have a lot on my mind of course U_U#hoatm rants
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jazajas · 4 years
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okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.
tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.
⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️
1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.
2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)
3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.
4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.
4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.
5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.
6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.
7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.
8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!
9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.
10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.
11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.
in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again
i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.
edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry
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heres some idea’s for redesigns along with some bulletpoints on what I was thinking for story stuff involving remaking the series
Im having trouble reading off the screenshots so Im gonna write it out under the cut along with probably adding some ideas or expanding on the bullet lists (future me here: I wrote a Lot)
Sam Manson:
-Rich Activist, meaning she’s kinda blind to some troubles going on or doesnt full understand how others are doing financially, along with being raised in a house with people who arnt exactly empathetic and more focused on appearances then worker rights, sam can come off as shallow to others doing activist work.
 it could be a really interesting character arc for her to realize some of the things going on outside of her school and plants that she can help with, along with dealing with that sense of helplessness she feels at being to normal to help anyone she expresses in the show.
-Goth, but cheery? One thing i noticed in the show is how overall cheerful sam can come off while toting goth ideal’s, which may be a part of why she isnt shown to have many goth friends with them seeing her more as a poser becouse their teenagers and teenager Be like that sometimes.
 It’s not a problem in my book but it could be fun to see tucker or danny question it when in goth spaces and sam basically saying the truth that you dont have to be miserable to enjoy dark subject matter. maybe with tucker and danny getting a small interest in some of the “lesser” goth stuff sam introduces to them.
-fights everyone, becouse teenager with boundless energy and Ghosts attacking all the time. sam didnt fight much in the original series and thats a shame.
-facinated by ghost, becouse duh
-I was kinda thinking of her and tucker being introduced by them competing for class president, becouse that seem’s like a position both would be interested in and it be more interesting then having tucker face dash
Tucker Foley
-Likes to influence others is a general statment, but its true tucker likes to be involved in other peoples lives and generally have his oppinion affect people in possitive (or negative) ways. he likes seeing that his involvment matters and he suffers when people ignore him or take his oppinions for granted and id love to see stuff centered around this trait
-level 1 leader/planner, sorta connected to the influencing people thing I think tucker really would thrive in leadership roles that danny just isnt suited to handling, big mobs of people and sam on his side and he is a force to be recond with. Tucker thrives in getting big groups of people to side with him esspecially since technology profficientcy isnt a sign of weakness in this day and age. 
plus him working on his public speaking lines up with his motivation of wanting to be attactive to ladies. 
also Having him working on public speaking stuff and general people person scenario’s gives a lot of reason for the group to interact with the A listers in a less hostile scenario
-tech god I guess, becouse tucker foley
Dan Phantom
-Incarnation of discomfort being the unintentional (At least the first time) fusion of a stubborn 14 year old and his crazy 40 year old father figure with very different morals and oppinions makes existing very, very akward for dan, but great comedy fodder!
-dan is able to have legs or a ghostly tail whenever he pleases unlike vlad or danny, becouse I figured it be a good way to make fights more interesting and their fighting styles different becouse I want more vlad involvement and having  them be extra different types of ghosts makes watching either of them fight much more interesting
-wishes to not exist, esspecially in the presense of either danny or vlads love interests becouse WOW thats akward
-WAAAAY more powerful then danny and vlad, partially becouse making dan a final everything is going to hell desperate final action for danny and vlad would make dan’s appearances more interesting but also becouse of difference’s about vlad plasmius and danny phantom I will talk about when I get to them. 
Dan Discomfort Masters
-“Vlad’s nephew” becouse if you’re meeting this guy stuff has gone horrible wrong on the de-fusing front  and he needs a reason to be in either fenton on masters house hold to get whatever he needs to fix the ghost catcher 
- big ol liar pant’s, partially becouse danny and vlad are Huge Liars but also becouse of the whole, I need shit to stop existing 
-Trying to keep it together becouse he’s probably made to interact with people vlad and danny have Opinions On and honestly he cant decide if he wants to viciously prank jack at every oppertunity or punch himself for thinking of being mean to jack, among other such mixed feelings.
Vlad Masters
-Certified genius due to a number of thing’s including his obession, and becouse being smarter then jack makes him happy and if jack ever expressed interest in a subject He Must Be Better, he might not be trying to kill jack becouse he doesnt want to deal with a ghost hunter ghost for who knows how long but he wont be lesser then jack in ANYTHING.
-fruitloop, still has some backwards logic and morals such as having valarie become a ghost hunter to offer a sparring buddy to danny and whats a better motive to shoot at someone then they ruined their life right but he’s generally such a over the top bird brain trying to show off to everyone that fruitloop is the only description he can be given.
-less evil is a Big Thing, he’s still objectively not a very good man but I want him and danny working together and sharing a roof on the weekends but that means not shooting first and asking questions later on site, so a less evil vlad is needed, plus it just generally makes there interactions more fun and less dangerous which is what im going for, since walker can take over a lot of vlads antagonist role in the story plus danny and vlad making agreements to get stuff out of eachother sounds like a hell of a lot of fun, i liked eye for and eye vlad sue me.
- as a side not I want vlad to be a lot less physically fit and practiced with doing things as a human, seeing him as a man who lords his power over others when he can he prefers relaxing and working as plasmius more then masters, which affects his health and serves a purpose in story for a lesson id like made after watching phantom planet last night
Vlad Plasmius
-loving guardian in that he really, really does want to be a good father and mentor figure to danny even if their relationship is rocky due to long standing lies he’s been feeding him and how tight a grip vlad has on his familys financial health. as well as the whole snatching partial costody as soon as costudy was called into question after dannys accident (Ill get to that) vlad’s babysat in the past for the fenton which is part of it, along with his desire to be better at jack in every aspect.
-great implorer, in which he likes to get minions when he can and usually only grumbles if his minions already have plans when he calls for them, pays great by ghost zone and human standards and usually offers a full health plan, though skulkers case that full health plans is for when he gets his head up his ass and thinks he can actually get either danny or vlads pelt, one of skulkers suits is on vlads lab wall with a nice hole where its face should be as a reminder to those who cross him.
-only legs,  meaning he uses 100% more kicks and ground based attacks then danny and can kick below the bet where danny cant, this plus his fire core making him have to get creative lest he burn his surroundings to the ground has him fighting in a very different way to danny, along with his 20 years of experience. vlad tends to fight ghosts with less reason to leave the ghost zone, and invading lairs to get what he wants, leading to more serious encounters then what danny faces in the begining.
-loves dramatics, becouse vlad plasmius everybody he’s a cookyier villian here
-less evil and more ruthless and efficient to those who get in his way, that arnt who percieves as family 
-Plasmius’s obsession is teaching people lessons, in all the good and horrible ways that can imply. halfa’s have more broad and less restrictive obsessions then other ghosts which makes them more dangerous and able to ammas power.
Danny Fenton
-Fenton works heir, which is played up a lot more in this with vlad backing his family and giving them chances to disgrace themselves on public telivision and get shamed out of wherever their currently living, leading them on a series of moves throughout dannys life before amity park show off their inventions to the world! Since Jazz aggressively refused the role it fell on danny and he actually takes it pretty seriously, believing as a little bab in ghosts and being convinced of their evil from a young age by his parents which you can only imagine does great things for him when he becomes a halfa and learns unkie vlad is one as well.
-has been haunted by the creepy ghost boy title his whole like due to his situation and the fact he is usually made to assist in showing off his parents weapons publicly as a apprentice ghost hunter, one such invention was the fenton portal that had a wire loose during the presentation, when he went in and put it back the doors automatically shut him in and jack and maddie didnt notice he was in there still until the screaming started, this led to some public outcry over weather jack and maddie are fit to raise kids and vlad swooping in for partial costudy of both fenton children “to ease the masses, and besides he’s basically helped raise them anyway whats garenteed weekends at one of vlads places going to do?”  it was a sucky situation.
-bad reputation due to general protectiveness of his parents along with terrible social skills, along with his new trouble of hiding and controlling emerging ghost powers.He doesnt leave a initial good impression on sam and tucker when he first meets them as fenton, and people tend to avoid him to keep away from his parents wierdness anyhow.
-is less good in the traditional sense but wants to keep people safe and happy if he can help it, though its argueable if thats simply a manifestation of his obsession or if its just becouse he’s a sweet kid, once he gets it into his head that ghosts arnt always evil he tries really hard to be nice to ghost too and even tries to save them from his parents when he can. putting his neck out for them.
Danny Phantom
-just wants a lair is a shorthand for wanting to just experience regular ghost things when he’s going ghost, he’s less inclined to fight every ghost he see’s unless their actively hurting people and tries to talk them down, not wanting his afterlife filled with enemies when he officially keels over. 
he has big dreams for a super cool lair of his own that are explored upon the one time he’s split apart by the ghost catcher, mostly becouse phantom rips the  door to his room from its hinges and zooms into the ghost zone as soon as he’s out, found aimlessly wondering helplessly looking for the PERFECT location to start building. he tends to day dream about the lair of his dreams in class.
-no leg’s leading to more air combat and trying to immobalize people with his tail, usually fighting fairly though with his moments of cheap shots in partiicularly deadly battles,, he usually fights people like johnny 13 who mess with people then he does generally harmless ghosts like box ghost in the begining, plus with his in development abilities that include a versatile ice core his fights are more strategy  then sheer beat down or creative weapon making (or heating whatever metal the ghost is wearing to the point of insanity) 
Danny also has this little problem where he “died” in a anti ghost hazmat suit made of stuff to weaken and harm a ghost who comes in contact with jack and maddies little boy and it means its harder on him to access his powers, taking more energy to do things that most ghost would find easy like intangibilty and invisibility, which is a major problem for him esspecially at first, danny’s only made aware of this though vlads help and their working on a way to trick the hazmat suit into changing material with what danny was wearing under the suit, since its being difficult with changing on dannys command, he can put stuff over and under the suit but the suit itself is hard to make budge.  the outfit shown above is after danny learns how to at least add stuff over it with vlads help.
dan does not have problem’s with the material of his costume making him have access to all dannys abilities easily, along with vlads experience and power and dannys creative thinking dan gets the nickname of the ultimate enemy with good reason
- Loves exploring, esspecially the ghost zone its so interesting and full of enteraining characters and the food is Amazing at least in ghost form and vlad’s show him some pretty incredible places in the zone when they agree to work together in the sense of vlad stealing madde and jacks thermoses at the end of fenton fights and danny helping him spelunk in the ghost zone,  its a guilty pleasure to be able to show sam and tucker around when they become friends, natural portals are a tempation danny has a hard time ignoring when he see’s one, much to his loved ones annoyance.  wolf is a terrible enablr of a friend.
- due to his obession with proving himself (its the wording i go with now i might change it to something like control or being loved) danny tends to want people to like him and seeing a opertunity to get them to like him sorta throws him off balance and out of fight mode, usually leading to him cuddling up to them, in phantom form dannys a great cuddler. take caution though he’s been known to trick enemys into thinking he’s gone out of fight mode and either shove them into the nearest portal/thurmos or later freezing them where they stand.  dannys terrible with crowds, esspecially crowds of people who dont like him he freezeses up.
Danny to-tired-to-function (school and not working with parents danny)
-cant wait to to graduate, with no plans to go to college becouse he’s not paying for more hell
-is really in a bad place socially and mentally in the begining, but will become a lot happier once he befriends sam and tucker, though before that he tends to do some pretty desperate and embarrasing things to get attention and has a problem with letting people drag him into trouble on the promise of friendship.
Danny’s Chore’s list:
-deadly laundry with ectoplasm contaminated laundry machines to content with
-helping whoever wants to cook, cook, or being in charge of dinner most nights unless someone else wants to cook (breakfast is jazz’s job, maddie and jack are gently discouraged from cooking, jazz and danny usually or use to just grab take out for lunch if they had time)
-cleaning the lab
-dishes with ecto contaminated dishwasher are always a little dangerous damn appliances and their wills to reak havoc, jazz likes to help make sure it doesnt hurt anyone since its more dangerous then the laundry machines
-assembling weapons with parents for the vault, or incase of a huge ghost invasion so everyone has a chance at a weapon, danny usually just assembles the less dangerous stuff that doesnt require a lot of welding
-general house maintense, vacuuming and window cleaning while jazz mops and dusts 
-jazz cleans the weapons vault after learning dannys secret becouse its a lot less dangerous for her then for him and hes infinitly grateful
AND DONE thats some of my thoughts on what could be done with a re design of the characters and story beats listed, im tired of writing now but enjoyed getting this out
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Beginning
So I guess for starters Im gonna say i am probably going to remain anonymous for a while. Also this stuff might get deep and personal so ill change all names. Since freelytinystudentblog is ridiculously long im just going to go but Eve because why not. Im not trying to look for attention posting all this stuff but i need an outlet and what better way to do it than anonymously on a website where it probably wont get read. So if you do happen to stumble onto this page then welcome. Hopefully you wont get bored. I guess its time for me to start with the beging which would be about 3ish years ago when I was a wee little lass and believed that because i was 13 i was basically the shit(which i obvously wasnt). I had moved a total of 3 times which doesnt seem too bad but it was always when i got really attached to people we moved and i never spoke to them again. This time was no different. We moved from one small town to another. Being one of the only mixed kids there besides my brother was surprisingly positive and annoying. Why youre probaly not asking? Well because my hair was everyones interest. A big ball of poof i always threw into a pony tail because honestly there wasnt much else to do with it. Everyone wanted to play with it or see how much stuff i could hide in it. It was fun at first but quickly got annoying. While there was that downside to the town it also had some positives. For example it was there that i realized that i was bisexual. To be honest i never thought about liking girls until my boyfriend at the time and his friend were talking about how they were both Bi and i said it to fit in a little. I didnt actually believe it until i realized the way girls made me felt. How i always caught myself looking at their chests and their butts, and how i fell for my friend Taylor. She was my first offical girl crush. Anyway this is getting a little off topic though it was important. Like i said there were many positives like the cool friends i got to meet, I got into blood in the dance floor and had a little emo phase and met a guy i thought id be with forever. That all sounds good but with all positives comes negatives. I began to get super depressed and even cut a few times. I felt trapped in my relationship with Damien. Whenever we fought hed threaten to kill himself or say stuff like “without you id kill myself” which is a shitty thing to say to someone in my opinion. I started doing things id never do like sneaking my boyfriend over and all that. But the biggest neutral that happened was me losing my virginity. No big deal it seems but i was freshly turned 14 and he was 16. We werent safe there was no protection. I know losing your virginity is supposed to be meaningful but i dont remember it. I wasnt drunk or anything so i dont know why i dont remember it. Anyway a couple weeks later i snuck out and walked around town and ended up having sex again in the graveyeard(insert judgement here) I knew something was wrong soon after. I felt sick so i told him i thought i was pregnant. He paled and asked if i was would i abort it. I instantly said no because i dont believe in abortions. After that night things got weird. Me my mom and my brother went to Tennessee. Driving up the mountains i felt sick to my stomach which i brushed off as carsickness. We get back from our vacation and i started craving the weirdest shit like frozen hot pockets, whole packages of cheese ect. I caught myself randomly thinking about having a baby and got scared. I ended up having my older family friend get me a pregnancy test and surprise surprise i was el prego. I cried for about 5 minuets before shutting down. I didnt know how to feel i was only 14. I called and  told Damien that night and he was as shocked as i was. Later on he told me he started crying after we hung up. So a few days later i went home and told mom. She wasnt as mad as i thought she would be. She refused to let me give the baby up for adoption because it was my mistake and i had to live with it. I dont think i couldve done it anyway. No one really understands how attached you get to the little baby inside you. I believe the same day i told the rest of my family. My grandma didnt talk to me for a couple of months. I had an aunt who told me i needed to give it up for adoption because i was gonna ruin the babys life.I had another aunt not let me see my cousin Bri for atleast 6 months which hurt so much. Me and bri are like sisters we’ve been almost inseperable ever since we were little which is funny since shes younger than me. Damien was determined to stay in the babys life and not leave no matter what. Me being pregnant at such a young age wasnt easy. I lost most of my friends and began homeschooling which was terrible. The nine months of me being pregnant was basically filled with me fighting with my boyfriend getting insanely jealous, cheating, and more sex. We shouldve left each other months ago. Looking back i shouldve left sooner. It was a toxic relationship for both of us. 9 months later my baby boy was born. Mister Phoenix. My angel. It was kind of ridiculous damien and i fought even in the hospital. We brought phoenix home and i was hoping the relationshup would get better. It didnt. I caught him sexting his ex and swore to break it off with him. I didnt. I swore to myself i wasnt going to let my baby grow up without a father. In july 2015 we moved 45 minuets away. Damien came on the weekends because my mom picked him up and took him home. That laster all summer until school started and he couldnt anymore. It seemed like us being apart made us fight even more. By november he broke up with me. Now i was 15 and a single mother. I was devasted. I had no one to turn to since i didnt have any friends in my new town. I was alone and began eating my depression away. Every month on the 11th i would sit down and cry. I wasnt in a good state. By 2016 i swore to myself id move on from Damien and become an amazing mother but it was so hard He kept popping in every 3 months or so flirting with me making me fall for him over and over again only to get crushed over and over again. It was a hellish cycle but honestly im glad i went though it. Why you ask? Well simply because every time he left itd give me more reason to stop liking him and even hating him. Now he texts me and i just roll my eyes. Going through that definately helped me move on. He wasnt there for any of the birthdays and i honestly am glad. I understand its my kids father but i grew up with a dad who lived in the same city and still couldnt come see me. I dont want my baby going through that. Once hes older i plan on explaining everything and giving him a choice of whether he wants to get in contact with his father or not. Itll be completely up to him. Now before you start judging me to hard think about this. I became a single parent at 15. The father never visted his son or even asked. Hell this january was the first time he saw phoenix in Two years. Two thats ridiculous. After the very awkward encounter he hasnt bothered asking to see him since. Its hard for people who dont have kids to understand this i know but i know what im doing is for the best. This sunday is going to be his 3rd birthday and his father came up with stupid excuses as usual. Now i know i left out some stuff but some of it is hard to put into words plus if i added anymore itd be unbelievably long. So this was the begining and current i guess. 14 and pregnant. 15 and a single parent. currently almost 18 and still doing it bymyself just a little better. Thats all for now. Ill probably make another one soon about relationships while being a single parent so yeah. Peace.
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How much do you spend on car insurance for your new 2006 Sonata ? I pay 116 a month am i being ripped off?
"How much do you spend on car insurance for your new 2006 Sonata ? I pay 116 a month am i being ripped off?
I have a 2006 Sonata by hyundia and i pay 116 a month
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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How can I find affordable health insurance in Florida?
Saving up car + insurance HELP !?
My partner is having driving tests every week, and she is a more advanced driver. I just like to get advice on this matter, financial ? I do got a job, part time mainly. I do earn around 180 +- a week if I am lucky, She has student loan, 800 every three months and that's not much since she has to pay university fees. normally around 9k. now it's around 4.5 thousand pounds I guess. She wants to get a car insurance and a car, we are troubled what to do since if she wants all of that it will be loads more. Since insurance is 600 pounds every year ? petrol and other costs MOT. Road tax ? Just some examples, there might be lots more to worry about. I will help her to get all these things, She thinks it would be easier to get a second hand car, that will hopefully handle 2/3 years ? I do not believe that's a wise choice since that would be much more expensive for extra costs and repairs. On top when she is done with Uni and she has to get a job, it's more sufficient to still owning a proper car to get you everywhere. The body could be damaged, and the chance of a accident is higher + extra costs. Can anybody help us out ? A second hand for 2/3 thousand with a insurance of 600 a year ? or not ? Lemme know ! Thank you !""
Insurance rates for 19 year old?
what would the insurace rates be for a 19 year old driving one of these cars. all cars would be sedan (4-door) models. 03-04 honda civic 97-01 subaru impreza RS 96-98 BMW 318 94+ acura integra 98-01 honda accord 00-03 nissan sentra
What is the cheapest car insurance for a 18 year old girl with a honda prelude? (what about will it cost)?
What is the cheapest car insurance for a 18 year old girl with a honda prelude? (what about will it cost)?
""Heres another crock of feces, about car insurance!?""
Apparently I didnt get the lowest rate because I didnt open an account or have a loan before age 25. What the F? does that have to do with the ability to drive a car? Also not because of no history of car loans or leases. Once again, What the F? does that have to do with the ability to drive a car? Also not because I have 2 accounts in good standing. I need more? or less? Once again, What the F? does that have to do with the ability to drive a car? Your company has never paid one dime to me or because of me. YET YOU BASE YOUR PREMIUMS ON NON RELATED ISSUES! F?ING BITE ME, WHAT A BUNCH OF SCAM ARTISTS! No wonder people commit insurance fraud. Because insurance companys F? you all the time. Another good one, recoupment fee. If you get money you have to pay it back. What was the purpose of the insurance in the first place? Now I know why we need billions of gallons of oil so much. Vaseline is a by product.""
How much money does drivers ed save on car insurance?
Is the amount saved by drivers ed a lot, meaning does drivers ed pay for itself by helping lower your insurance cost?""
What's the cheapest car insurance for an 18 year old student with a 2002 jaguar X-type?
I'm an 18 year old with a jaguar X-type, no accidents, nothing bad, driving a safe car, I'm looking for an insurance that isn't crazy expensive, my dad with 3 cars pays $200 a month, I don't want to add $300 a month for 1 car! the lowest I've seen is acceptance Insurance which was just under $200, are there any better insurance deals for teenagers in safe, non-sports cars?""
Cheap car insurance companies for young drivers? With a years no claim?
I'm 18 and my insurance went from 1300 to 1100 after a years no claim which would have just been affordable. However as I don't work for the police anymore and went back to college to get a levels, (being a student) it went up to 1700. What are really cheap insurance companies for young drivers? I have a years no claim discount...""
Progressive good student discount question. PLEASE HELP!?
i just found out i have to pay $100 per month for my insurance and i just got my license but my parents can't really afford to pay that right now so i was wondering what is their required GPA for the good student discount in California, Please help me.""
What are the variables included in the cost of car insurance?
What are the BASIC variables that are included in any car insurance? i.e...car color, car make, type of car, horsepower, year, age of driver, ethnicity...? Which things do they look at car wise/and driver wise that affect how much insurance you end up paying in the end? and does the speed of the car effect the cost greatly?""
Car dealership never faxed info to the insurance company. Can anything legally be done?
I got in an accident in the car and the insurance company said the dealership never faxed the info and it was ultimately my responsibility to make sure it had insurance so is there anything i can do or am i just screwed with a wrecked car?
Health insurance for foreigners?
I am from India & I would like to know about the health insurance options for indians working in Malaysia. My husband is working but I am a housewife. His company takes care of his insurance. We are trying for a baby and I would like to know about the health insurance options for foreigners in Malaysia.
Full coverage insurance ...?
if you have full coverage car insurance does it cover you even if you take a trip that is a 1000 miles are is there a limit on how far you go?
Cheap car insurance for young driversw?
Cheap car insurance for young driversw?
How many years no claims bonus does it take for your car insurance quote to be at its minimum?
For example, If I were to insure an Audi RS4 which costs around 48,000 - which group would this be in?? etc...""
""How do you purchase a car without insurance, and how do you get insuracnce with out a car?""
I left my insurace expire, and noe I need to get insurance, but I don't know what car i'm going to get, so which comes first, the insurance or the car?""
Whats the best and cheaper insurance auto company in England?
Whats the best and cheaper insurance auto company in England?
What life insurance policy should I get?
I have the option of variable whole life, whole life, and term life. I know term life is the best, but i am only 18 and i don't have time to go out and invest in mutual funds unless its really easy and quick. I am a college student, and I have no income. I am planning on becoming a nurse, but of course that is not guarenteed. Which one should I get and why? Please don't just say don't get whole life! it sucks yeah i know that but i need details. Also what about for my parents who are in their early 60's . Which one should they get??""
Which Car insurance would i preferred?
I want best insurance on my car, there are many types of insurance, which insurance is good for me, can you suggest me.""
Where can I get a fair priced car insurance for a first time driver at the age of 17 and Male?
I'm just about to do my second test, I failed the first with only 4 minors but I misjudged a speed limit and got failed for dangerous driving when doing 40 in a 30. I've been looking at a Ford Fiesta 1.4 Zetec 16V that I would really enjoy to have except I can't find insurance anywhere cheaper than 2700 and I think it's ridiculous because I'm not a maniacal driver and I don't see why I should have to pay that much until proven that I will cause that sum of damage. Is there any way I can get a cheaper premium? It's really putting me off driving because the price is just absolutely horrendous. PS UK ONLY PLEASE""
How much do you spend on car insurance for your new 2006 Sonata ? I pay 116 a month am i being ripped off?
I have a 2006 Sonata by hyundia and i pay 116 a month
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-have-insurance-want-get-pregnant-adeline-baker"
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