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oro-e-diamanti · 3 years

Text

Quiet Music: Scherzo (Chapter Six; Part Two)

In collaboration with @bethanysnow

Butterflies getting caught in throats with no words to help explain. Time standing still with a heart breaking. Determination and a willingness to see it through float away in sleep.

Content | Fluff, slight smut warning, tw injury (nothing major, just a wrist injury)

Pairing | fem!Reader x Damiano

Word Count | 6644

Shoutout to @damianodavide, who was a superb help on this chapter and the real life nurse behind this one ;) 😘

***

Damiano’s head was spinning. As soon as he closed his eyes, Y/n’s face appeared in front of him, eyes hooded, lips plumps from just having kissed him, and an expression that promised a need for more. It left him bothered in a way that he knew would not let him sleep until he took care of it. Trying to pretend it was her feminine hand instead of his own rather undignified touch, he reached into the waistband of his underwear immediately letting out a hiss at the contact.

He was desperate for her, but if he couldn’t have her, his imagination would have to do. Pictures flashed through his mind as he moved his hand. Her on her knees, looking up at him through long lashes. He had already gotten a taste of the way she reacted when he complimented her, watching her eyes go wide as he called her a good girl. Her being good for him. Her on her back, ready to be devoured by him in any way he pleased. Feeling his hands go into her hair pulling her face up to look at him. Her bent over whatever furniture he could find, willing to let him have his way with her. Deeply, madly, irrefutably, he wanted it all. She was truly making him lose his mind. Her body and the way she moved were infatuating. Her laugh when someone did something dumb. The look in her eyes when she teased him back. He could still feel the kiss she left on his lips. He never wanted that feeling to end. Brava ragazza mia.

He came with an embarrassingly loud groan, unable to hold back or keep quiet. For a moment, in the silence, he wondered if anyone had heard. He was well aware that his room was surrounded by those of bandmates and crew, but he couldn’t remember who it was exactly anyway, and it didn’t bother him for long, his hazy mind drifting around once again.

***

“Where is your mind at?” Y/n looked up as Victoria pulled her out of her thoughts unexpectedly. Y/n had stopped in Victoria's room after breakfast, trying to keep tabs on what everyone’s plans were on their day off. She had meant to get some work done as Victoria was busying herself getting ready, but it had ended up with her staring into the distance, laptop almost forgotten on her lap.

“Oh, sorry. I’m here, what were you saying?”

“I asked where your mind is at.” Victoria fell forward laying on the bed. Y/n knew that the blonde was starting to learn to read her like a book and she wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

“Yeah, um, listen. What would you say to someone that may have absolutely decimated her career, by maybe accidentally kissing her boss while they were all high?” She didn’t dare look at the bassist, bracing herself for whatever negative reaction would potentially come from this.

Victoria sat up in surprise, eyes wide and the hint of a smile playing on her lips. “I’m going to need a lot more information than that.” Without giving in to Y/n’s slight protest, she removed the laptop from the assistant’s legs, closing it shut and putting it away. “Tell me everything.”

“Well, there wasn’t much to it really. We sat on the couch, you know that. And I said something stupid about how his eyes looked like chocolates, or maybe gemstones? I don’t quite remember. Anyway, then he pulled my hair out of the hair-tie. I went to kiss his cheek, but he turned his face. Fuck, it was bad. Not the kiss! He is very good at that! But I shouldn’t have done that. And then he just went ‘it's cool, it happens’. What does that even mean?!” She was talking much too quickly, getting it all out before the rational part of her brain would make her shut up. Make her remember she was talking to someone she’d only just started getting to know a week ago, who she was working for. “Then Thomas crashed and you know how that ended. Now I might be avoiding him. Just a bit.” She looked at Vic with a slight panic in her eyes, unsure if she had said too much.

Victoria, on the other hand, seemed delighted to no end, if a little shocked. “Wait, as if you kissed with all of us there and no one noticed!” She exclaimed, briefly pausing, contemplating, but shaking it off to get back to the conversation. “So… Good kiss, huh? Did you enjoy it then? Wanna do it again?” Her eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Victoria! That is not what I am worried about here! I could lose my job. I- I could never show my face out there again if people found out. And I really enjoy this job, you know!” Her face scrunched a little bit, calming down with a sigh. “...But also, yes, he was a gentleman, and if he wanted to … kiss me again, I probably wouldn’t say no. But I also wouldn’t say yes. I work for you. This is not the time to be thinking about how much I enjoyed kissing Damiano!”

Her eyes went wide as her voice dropped to a whisper, looking down at her hands. “Ah fuck, I said that out loud.”

“Okay, let’s look at it from a rational standpoint then.” Victoria turned slightly more serious at seeing her panic. “There is no way you’ll be losing your job over this. Maybe I wouldn’t advise hopping into bed with the whole band and crew, but we always got a tight-knit relationship with people we work with anyway, you know that. None of us would rat you out to management or anything. Plus, if you liked and Damiano liked it… wouldn’t it be a shame to worry about anything else instead of going for it?”

“I don’t know if he liked it. I was busy trying not to pass out, to be honest. I avoided him this morning by going straight to your room. I actually kind of avoided everyone, I’m scared the words of what happened will just come out to anyone who asks… Kind of like they just did with you.” She let out another deep sigh, switching between looking at her nails, picking at them, and out the window. “If he ...you know ... Then maybe. I honestly don’t even know what I would do with that information. On the off chance that he did like it though. And wanted to go for it then I’d consider it.” She tried to remain as put together as possible and, well aware that she was failing miserably.

“Well, in that case, we have to find out what Damiano wants!” Victoria’s enthusiasm was back with a vengeance. “You should talk to him! Or should I talk to him? Maybe I should lock you in a room like those romcoms and threaten to not let you out again until you kiss.”

“Or you don’t do that because that is entrapment. I think I would be cool with you talking to him. But I still have to do my job. That comes first. Because as far as I am concerned,” Y/n got up and grabbed her laptop again, “it is business as usual. And last night was a fluke. Not to crush your rom-com dreams, love, but if I spoke to him I’d put my foot in my mouth faster than you can play bass.”

The smirk on Vic’s face didn’t promise anything good. “We’ll see about that, we’ll see,” she ominously muttered, before jumping up from the bed. “Now stop trying to pretend you got work to do, we’re going vintage clothes shopping.”

***

The thrift store turned out to be a small hole-in-the-wall kind of place, just off a side street - perfect for shopping in peace without getting much attention at all. Y/n hadn’t been all that keen on keeping the band company for this little adventure, but Victoria had insisted, claiming she needed a female perspective in case the boys were being stupid again. It had only taken a serious case of the puppy dog eyes to win her over, and Victoria found herself making a mental note to remember it.

The store was stuffed full of clothes, a kind of chaos that seemed to have an order that only the owner really understood. But it looked like heaven, and within seconds everyone had vanished into some corner or other, dying to find their newest favourite piece. For a moment, Victoria contemplated who she wanted to follow first, feeling the need to talk to at least two different people but also never wanting to miss out on a chance to go crazy with Thomas. Ended up deciding on Damiano. It seemed the more pressing issue. She hadn’t failed to notice how he would try to pretend that everything was normal, yet continuously evading Y/n’s eyes. She had kept her distance all the same. This wasn’t acceptable. She had to do something, Victoria decided.

She found the singer shuffling through some blouses, although much more half-heartedly than he tended to be when it came to vintage clothes. Looking out from the racks Victoria saw Y/n doing the same. She briefly considered how to go on about this - admit that Y/n had told her what had happened? Pretend she had actually seen the kiss last night? - but figured that Damiano would start talking on his own accord sooner or later. Especially if this was affecting him the way it was Y/n, and she was almost hoping it was.

“Okay, spill, what’s up with you today?”

Damiano shrugged, pulling a shirt out from the rack, and holding it against his body, waiting for Victoria's opinion. She raised a brow and put it back wordlessly.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” he responded rather vaguely.

“Damia, you’ve barely spoken at all today. Normally you can’t shut up. And you know, I’d be thankful for some peace and quiet from you, but you’re actually worrying me. So what’s going on with you?”

Damiano had a panicked look on his face as he scanned over the racks of clothes, his eyes flickering back and forth, obviously noticing Y/n shuffling through some things and slowly getting closer. Taking Vic by surprise, he dragged her into the dressing rooms.

“Okay, that’s…. Weirdly intimate, but go on,” Vic mumbled to herself as he closed the curtain behind them, still nervously looking around the small space.

“Rather talk to you in here, than her hear me out there. I may have fucked up, royally.” He crossed his arms over his chest and Victoria was sure he would be burning a hole into the wall with his vision if he possessed that power. He was avoiding looking at her and she knew it.

“Explain,” she simply demanded, sitting down on the tiny stool in the corner and looking up at Damiano. She wanted to hear it from him, hear what had happened in his version of the story, hear what was bothering him so much.

“So we were at that bar, right? Y/n was sitting next to me. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you were there. Anyway. We were talking. I don’t know if it was the smoking or whatever else, but I looked at her and - I don’t know why I did this but I did. I pulled her hair out of her hair tie.” He leaned on the wall, his head hitting the brick behind him. He groaned but Vic assumed it didn’t have anything to do with the pain. “And… and she was so beautiful. Her hair just all around her. So soft. And at that moment, she was laughing and it sounded heavenly. And I went to look at her again and suddenly my lips were on hers…” His voice softened at the end, losing his train of thought and drifting. She had never quite seen him like this. “Then she was freaking out, and I told her some fucking stupid line like ‘it happens’. I just wanted her to calm down but… Now she must think I’d just...” He groaned, slumping a little and finally looking over at Vic. “Then she ran off to help Thomas.”

“So, what you’re saying then is that you did enjoy it? Potentially wanna do it again?” She felt transported back to the conversation she’d had with Y/n just hours earlier, posing almost the exact same question. She had never been this involved with any of her friends’ relationships to this extent, but something told her that her help was desperately needed in this case.

He raised a brow at her. “Did you not hear the part where after we kissed she then proceeded to freak out? I doubt that she even wants to see my face right now.” A heavy sigh left him and Victoria found herself laying a hand on his arm. “And of course I want to kiss her again, Vic. I close my eyes and she is there. Hell, she wakes me up every morning! I can’t escape. She is everywhere I go! I turn a corner and she is there. She's the one we go to when wanting to eat, she arranges the cars, she helps us with concerts, she’s doing everything all the time. I don’t know how much more I can take!”

***

Y/n stood in the shoe aisle holding a pair of heels in her hand, contemplating for a second, before putting them on. Turning towards Ethan, who was walking towards her now, she realised it had eliminated all height differences between them. Definitely too high, she thought to herself. Holding onto his shoulders, she clumsily took them back off.

“Hey Ethan, find anything good?” The smile on her face felt forced but she was praying he wouldn’t see it.

He proudly holds up a black, studded belt with an intricate design on it, as well as a pink suede jacket. “How about you? I think I saw some nice trousers over there that might suit you. Wanna check it out?”

Y/n scoffed. She didn’t want to let her mood out on Ethan, trying her hardest to stay diplomatic. “Love the idea, but I doubt any of the clothes in here would go over my thigh. They’d fit you guys just great though. The jacket looks good, by the way.” She tried to distract herself from - well, everything - by putting the shoes away, mindlessly letting her fingers wander over the other pairs standing there.

Ethan looked at her in contemplation for a moment, but seemed to decide against following his train of thought. “At least try on some more shoes. Here, what about these?” He excitedly grabbed a pair of high-heeled boots, very much in the style she could see any of them wearing on stage - much less the one she usually went for when working.

A little intimidated, she took the shoes, if only to humour him. Ethan was nothing but a sweetheart, this was the least she could do. She put them on only with some slight struggle. She once again reached his height, almost amused by the feeling of seeing eye-to-eye with him, but the shoes felt strange. Very far removed from the usual flats, sneakers, boots, or whatever other pair that would allow her to keep running around all day without regretting it in the evening.

“Do I look silly?”

“You look gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.” His voice had the most earnest tone to it and it was only supported by the way he studied her, looking her up and down. “Maybe walk a few steps to see if you can get used to it.”

She laughed as she proceeded to strut and partially dance some steps down the aisle to the song playing in the store. “I haven’t worn heels in so long, still got it though!”.” Her small smile grew into a grin, rather proud of herself for still being able to keep up. Going to the mirror near Ethan she looked at the shoes, then at herself in the shoes, then back at Ethan. Still, the insecurity took over for a moment. Her voice seemed small when she asked, “You think so?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you like that,” he replied, putting a hand over his heart for emphasis. “Want to go and see what the others think? I saw Thomas over there, and Vic and Dami disappeared into that corner a while ago.”

“Right, good idea.” She walked over to the dressing room looking for Damiano and Victoria, figuring they had gone to try on some things. Well, she was mainly looking for Victoria, still uncomfortable at the thought of facing the singer. She was in the middle of calling out for them when Damiano’s voice seeped through the curtain instead. She didn’t mean to listen, only to wait for him to stop so she could interrupt, but the second she realised what he was saying she wished she had never come over.

“Hell, she wakes me up every morning! I can’t escape. She is everywhere I go! I turn a corner and she is there. She's the one we go to when wanting to eat, she arranges the cars, she helps us with concerts, she’s doing everything all the time. I don’t know how much more I can take!”

She stepped back. Frozen in place. Her heart was beating out of her chest, hurting, aching, breaking just that little bit. Processing what he had said seemed to happen not at all and then suddenly all at once. She couldn’t breathe. She needed air. Anything but this suffocation. She needed to leave.

“I need some air.”

The words came out of her mouth much louder than anticipated, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care that people were looking at her now. She didn’t care that was still wearing a pair of shoes that she had definitely not paid for yet. She just needed out, out, out, and away from all this. From him.

She didn’t realise she was walking on cobblestone until she wasn’t anymore, her ankle giving way, arms desperately trying to keep her from falling as she stumbled.

***

Damiano and Victoria stopped in their tracks as they heard someone approach from outside of the dressing room. Both heads turned towards the sound, when Y/n’s voice came through, telling maybe no one in particular that she needed some air. Her voice sounded strange. Damiano was convinced he had never heard that particular tone in it. As he threw back the curtain, he saw her stumble outside, clearly hectic, and he could feel a surge of panic run through him. Something wasn't right here. He forgot all about the conversation he was having, all about Victoria, and made his way outside. Not quite running, but the worry had him out of the door quickly. His heart sank when he saw her, lying on the floor just outside of the shop, holding her arm awkwardly, some scratches already beginning to bleed a little. As she looked up at him, he could see tears pricking at her eyes.

"Fuck, are you okay? What happened? I just saw-" The look on her face - or rather, the way she turned away from him - shut him up instantly. This wasn't the time to bombard her with questions. It didn't matter anyway. Instead of bothering her further, he quickly knelt down beside her, helping her sit up in return. He was acutely aware of the way she pulled away the second he touched her skin. Like she had been burned. ´

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Sorry to ruin the shopping trip, you can go back in if you want to," she mumbled, trying to wipe some tears away but instead spreading some dirt and drying blood onto her cheek instead. Damiano wanted to touch her, clean her up, dry her tears, but the way she had pulled away a minute ago made him not want to try. The last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm her more. He watched as she pulled out her wallet, handing it to him. "Go pay for the shoes please. And stop looking at me like that, I said I’m fine."

Yet, as soon as she moved, she winced in pain, taking a deep breath before getting herself up to a standing position. He found himself holding her arm in support, but she only accepted it for as long as necessary. As he let go, she let out a small cry of pain, obviously holding her hurt wrist the wrong way.

“You’re obviously not fine,” Damiano sighed. He desperately wanted to reach out to her, but she was already in tears, turning away, and it simply didn’t seem like a sensible option. He looked around at the others as they gathered around Y/n. Only Thomas was missing, probably still blissfully unaware inside the shop and browsing for clothes. He tossed the wallet to Ethan. “Would you mind paying for her shoes real quick?” Ethan nodded, walking back into the store. Y/n was still standing between them, holding her arm close to her body in a protective gesture. Almost a similar expression to the one she had had on her face on the plane all those days ago. He wondered if something was scaring her the way the turbulence did back then.

“I am and will be fine, Damiano.” Her voice was stern. “I cry at a lot of things, this is no different. I wrap it up, put ice on it for a while and I’m golden.”

He watched as Victoria put a tentative hand on Y/n’s shoulder. She didn’t pull away from her touch, he noticed. “Y/n, that really doesn’t look like nothing. Look, it’s starting to swell up already.”

"What do you want me to do then?" She almost sounded resigned now as she looked back and forth between Damiano and Victoria. "We are in Amsterdam. I don't exactly have a GP on speed dial here. Now, where is Ethan with my wallet?"

She started walking towards the door of the shop, but Damiano defiantly held out his arm to stop her. "We are taking you to A&E."

Her face seemed to drain of all colour, and this time it was not because of the pain. "You are not taking me to a hospital."

Damiano looked at her, determination in his eyes, trying to make her understand that this was non-negotiable. Just for now, he would forget about the way she was brushing him off, the way she was evading his touch, the way she did not even want to look at him. Because right now she needed him and he would be there for her, if she wanted him to be or not.

"Yes, I am. Final decision. You would do the same for us if we got hurt. But we're responsible for you too, you're part of our crew, and right now, being responsible means getting this checked out. Besides, you're not getting your wallet back until you agree."

As soon as Ethan stepped outside again, this time with a slightly confused-looking Thomas in tow, Damiano snatched the wallet from his hands only to put it in his own jeans pocket. She was mad, obviously turning whatever was bothering her into anger, but Damiano was having none of it and he hoped the look in his eyes told her so.

"Fine! Take me to the hospital. But know that I am not happy about this."

"I don't need you to be. I just need you to come with me."

***

A quick refresher of her rudimentary Dutch verified that she was indeed looking for "spoedeisende hulp", another search on the internet confirmed that there was a hospital nearby, and before she knew it, she had been whisked into a taxi with Damiano. The others had decided to make their way back to the hotel, no point in clogging up the waiting room. Damiano promised to call with any news immediately.

Y/n wouldn't tell him, certainly not right then and there but she was happy that Damiano seemed to take the lead for once. She wouldn't have had any problems had any of the others needed medical help - but having people fuss about her? Making her the center of attention in a way she did not intend to be and having to accept help from others?... It was a completely different story. Still she appreciated the way he handled the situation, making sure she got registered with the administration straight away, listening attentively for further instructions, and leading her into the waiting area. She was also glad that it seemed to be quiet, not only because it would result in less of a wait, but also because the bustling would have made her all the more nervous.

This was out of her comfort zone. She had managed to avoid hospitals for the majority of her life, and yet here she was, because she panicked and couldn't handle her shoes. Looking down at them, she wanted to curse them. Curse the fact that they made her walk over to Damiano and Victoria in the first place, curse the fact that she had heard Damiano speak about her that way, curse the fact that they carried her out the door but not much further. She didn't even know where her actual shoes were. Hopefully, Ethan had kept his head and collected them on the way out after paying.

A few seats down, someone coughed loudly, reminding her exactly of where she was. It wasn't the worst hospital she had ever been in, that much was true, but she would rather not see one from the inside at all. She was dying for some comfort, some soothing words, a gentle touch, but as soon as Damiano made any attempt at reaching out to her she pulled back. His words were still heavily playing on her mind, the swelling of her wrist and the heat that seemed to seep from it a painful reminder. There was no way she was going to let herself fall, be reassured and consoled by him when he was so obviously sick of her presence. She wouldn't do that to either of them. Victoria with all her good intentions be damned. At least right now.

“Why are they not calling you in, it doesn’t even look like they’re doing anything,” Damiano grumbled next to her, eyes on the nurse’s station where a few of them were sitting. A few eyes were on them, something that looked like an excited discussion.

“Stop it, I’m sure they’re busy at work. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean they aren’t”, she bit back, slightly harsher than intended. He shot her a look, eyebrows raised, but she turned away, not looking to have a deeper conversation.

It left Damiano sitting in silence. Leaving both of them in the same situation, again. Y/n and him alone. Well, alone enough. Alone enough to not have anyone distract her from the uncomfortable feeling that settled over them. No Thomas being silly, no Victoria making a dumb comment, no calming presence of Ethan. Through this whole process, Y/n had basically crawled back into herself. She wished she could disappear.

She didn't know how much time had passed when they were finally called, too preoccupied with her own thoughts and the pain in her wrist. The nurse that beckoned them over had the warmest smile on her face, albeit tired eyes and it surprised Y/n how much comfort she found in the soft expression of the woman. White slacks, rolled up sleeves, pockets so full it looked like they were bursting at the seams, dark hair up in a bun. She found herself looking over at Damiano, wondering if he was aware of how gorgeous this woman was, how kind and calming her aura was, but his eyes were trained solely on her. She didn't allow herself to get lost in his gaze, quickly dropping hers and following the nurse into an examination room.

“Hi, I’m Ana, I’m going to be your nurse for today. You only speak English, am I correct?” She asked, gesturing for both of them to sit down, Y/n on the examination table and Damiano on a chair next to it. There was a slight twinge of an accent in her speech, but it was clear that she was fluent, which was a relief. Y/n didn’t even want to think about trying to get this done with the few words she knew in Dutch. She nodded, gratefully. “We’re going to go over what happened, and then I’ll do a physical examination, and the doctor will see you after as well.”

Y/n watched as the nurse fumbled with the computer, seemingly already typing things before Y/n had even said anything. “So, what exactly happened?”

“I, uh, tried on some heels and tripped on the cobblestone outside,” Y/n explained, taking a moment to glare at the offending shoes still on her feet. “Fell forwards, tried to soften the blow with my hands and now my wrist looks like this.” She held up the offending arm, gathering that the sight would speak for itself. The dried blood of the little scrapes on the palms of her hand did its best to make it look more dramatic than it felt.

“Oh, yeah that looks quite painful,” the nurse winced. “I see you’ve scraped your knee as well.”

Y/n looked down, slightly confused, only to realise her jeans had torn, revealing a beat-up knee underneath. Crap, she hadn’t even noticed, too occupied with… well, everything else. This felt like it was getting worse by the second, she never wanted to get back to a hotel room this badly. She felt like crying, but letting Damiano see her composure waver was the last thing she would allow.

“It’s nothing,” she sighed, moving her legs as if it gave her a chance of hiding her bruises.

“It’s not nothing, Y/n,” Damiano sighed next to her, before turning towards the nurse. “I think it’s more serious than she’s letting on.” In the same determined tone from before.

The nurse looked back and forth between the two of them. “It’s probably the shock of it.”

Oh yeah, the shock. Mainly that of finding out that Damiano didn’t want her around, apparently.

The nurse asked a few more questions, time of the accident, previous medical history, medication she was taking regularly, but they barely reached her. She found herself answering curtly, with Damiano filling in where he could. She wouldn’t tell him she was thankful for it. Even though the idea of him taking care of her made her emotional.

“Right, let’s get that wrist looked at then.” Y/n had feared it would be painful but as soon as the nurse started handling her? She knew it was her job to feel the joints, test her range of motion, move her arm. But unwelcome tears emerged in the corners of her eyes. She didn’t have the energy to push Damiano’s hand away, as she almost reveled in the comforting touch on her back. The small talk didn’t even begin to make for a distraction. Yet, something was nagging at the back of Y/n’s head as she watched the nurse interact with Damiano. There was a familiarity in her eyes… Did she know who he was? Surely not.

“This will need an X-Ray to make sure it’s not broken,” the nurse concluded, finally letting go of her wrist. Damiano whispered a quiet ‘You okay?’ over to her, but she couldn’t do anything but nod. “I will bandage the scrapes a bit while we wait for a doctor. So, what brings you to Amsterdam today?”

“Work,” Y/n answered, trying to keep some degree of privacy, but Damiano didn’t seem to mind butting in immediately.

“I’m in a band, we’re on tour. She’s our assistant and overall angel.” She wanted to shoot him a look, both at the unnecessary honesty and the over-the-top way he was describing her, but a touch to her banged-up knee distracted her.

A doctor popped into the room quickly verified everything the nurse had told him And before she knew it she was being led down a hallway to get an X-Ray. Damiano stayed behind in the room.

“Cute couple, the two of you,” the nurse piped up next to her.

“Um, yeah, no. Not a couple. Just a working relationship.”

“You sure about that?”

Y/n almost wanted to stop dead in her tracks, ask the nurse what on earth had given her that idea, but she also knew she was here to get examined and the last thing she wanted to do was annoy the person responsible.

“Very. He doesn’t like me like that, he’s made that crystal clear.”

“Well, he certainly doesn’t look like you in a way that suggests he doesn’t like you. If anything, I would have guessed he was head-over-heels for you.”

Y/n was stumped for a reply. Was this woman making fun of her? She didn’t look like someone who would. So why would she say these things? With a deep sigh and a heavy heart, Y/n decided she would have to talk to Damiano at some point. Have him either stand by his statement and back off, or explain what the hell he was doing. Because she was starting to lack comprehension about any of it.

She was glad the rest of the appointment seemed to fly by in a hurry, or maybe Y/n’s brain had simply gone into power-saving mode, not really taking it what as happening around her anymore. Her exhaustion was tangible. The X-Ray was done quickly enough, someone sent her back to the examination room, and before she knew it, the doctor had announced that it was, in fact, not broken. A quick wrap around her wrist, some instructions on how to care for it (that Damiano seemed to listen to more closely than she did), and she was almost out the door. She was sure she would have fallen asleep on the examination table. It was only the nurse quickly saying her goodbye and adding another comment that almost threw her off balance again.

“Bye, guys. And by the way, nice show yesterday. I promise I wasn’t the one who threw the bra.”

***

It was dark out by the time Y/n and Damiano made it back to the hotel. He had made sure to text the others, telling them to go for dinner without them, they’d be fine, and he figured she would need some rest. The hotel restaurant was quiet enough and he motioned towards it, but Y/n shook her head.

“I’ve got a few snacks in my room, but honestly, I’m not hungry at all. I just want to go to bed.”

Yet, tired as she was, it only took one pointed look for her to shut him up, so he simply nodded and led her towards the elevators.

“At least let me bring you to your room and see if you need any more help. And I can give you your wallet back.”

He could tell in the way she stiffened next to him, the way she barely reacted to his words, that she wasn’t keen on the idea, but he wouldn’t let her get away with it. He was desperate to find out what was bothering her and why she was so distant, but he couldn’t figure it out. Was the kiss still playing on her mind? Was she uncomfortable with him? It was the last thing he wanted. He needed to show her he was willing to be there for her.

Closing the door of her room behind him, a shout rang through the room.

“These fucking things, I hate them!” She was loud and angry while trying to get her shoes off, but her voice was wavering and if he watched her in just the right light he was convinced he was seeing the beginning of tears forming in her eyes.

“Shh, shh, it’s fine,” he tried to soothe, unsure if he was going about it the wrong way, but quickly bending in front of where she was sitting on the bed. She kicked her heels once more in frustration, obviously unable to get them off with her wrist still compromised.

“Don’t shush me when it’s all your fault,” she whispered and he almost stopped dead in his tracks, but he figured she hadn’t meant for him to hear. He stayed quiet, against everything in his heart telling him to find out what she was talking about. Instead, he focused on removing her shoes, gentle touches against her bare skin. Looking up at her, he realised that she was studying him, watching his every move, and he concentrated even harder on being the perfect gentleman. Yet, when he pulled the second shoe off her, he couldn’t help letting his hand rest on her calf a little longer than necessary.

“Come on, let’s get you into some pyjamas,” he decided, getting up and putting some distance between them. Too afraid of getting ahead of himself, of letting his hands wander more than appropriate places, of saying something he shouldn’t. He threw what he gathered to be her sleepwear in her general directions. “If you need any help changing because of your wrist, let me know.”

He hoped his smile was as sincere as he meant it. Either way, she didn’t give him much of a reaction, grabbing the clothes and disappearing into the bathroom. A few sharp hisses reached him through the door, but he knew better than to offer his help again.

He wasn’t sure what the acceptable place for him to sit was, but since the room didn’t offer anything but a worn-out armchair and the bed, he decided that choosing the far side of the mattress wasn’t too bad. He didn’t even realise she had left the en-suite until her voice reached him.

“We really need to talk, Damiano.” She sounded resigned and tired and he wished he could wrap her in his arms and tell her everything was alright, but it didn’t seem like the right time. As soon as she reached the side of the bed opposite him, she all but collapsed on it. She sleepily grabbed one of the many unnecessary hotel pillows they placed on the bed and nuzzled her face into it.

“There will be more than enough time for that tomorrow,” he replied, grabbing the blanket and making sure she was fully covered by it. “It’s been a long day, try to get some rest.”

She didn’t even manage to argue anymore, eyes already fluttering closed, breathing slowly becoming more steady. She was gorgeous like this. A soft calm overtaking the scene. No wall up that kept everyone else from her inner thoughts. No front that she put up in desperate attempts to remain professional. Just a softness etched into her features that highlighted her natural divine beauty.

He wanted to take her worries away. He hoped that whenever they did get to talk tomorrow, it would yield some clarity. The last thing he wanted was for her to ever feel this way. He had grown so attached to her, so obsessed with the idea of having her around, that he already feared the end of the tour. If she would give him any option to stay in her life, he would take it, whatever way it was.

Damiano barely noticed the way he was slipping down on the mattress, his fingers softly patting her head, eyelids getting heavy. The last thing on his mind was Y/n, sleeping soundly next to him and wishing for nothing but to make her happy.

***

Taglist | @damianodavide @lizstans @its-afucking-mess @ethaneskin @dont-let-me-drown-in-you @vampirtet @lividisuigomiti @juststalking @tabi-toast @ethan-torchio-angelo @cheese-toastie-11 @thewitchinthemountain @ethanesimp @sofckinelectric @man3skin @daddydamiano @finelinejpm @superchrystaldrug @ginny-lily @nientedaridere @rainbowmarta @tiaamberxx @shaunthesheesh @enjcltaire @rocketqueen @aleksanderwh0r3 @damianodavidhands @megann-duff @teatrodellavita @coven-daddy @till-you-scream-and-cry @solasullabarca @fanfictionandfluff @makapaka11 @slave4yourlove @geklutst-ei @marriedwithmarktuan @bookish0918 @mehrmonga @kanevill @butterfly-skinnylegend @lidiyabest @killerqueen1985 @ccweasley @bluscryn @deluxeplanteater @ohtorchio @messyhairday-me @bidet-and-legolas @maybanksslut @katyldamusic @fuckim-so-gay @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @petit-poussin @fedorable-killjoys @luvbadass @buttercup-beeee @navs-bhat @etaerealboyv @tryymebitch @mell-bell @fenhakwe @solacestyles @softforlukescurls @vicsangel @theimpossiblehologramtree @alina-exe @cherricola66 @supercorp-mari @onlykissystyless @thatonebraziliangirl @dannasixxworld @immrbrightside @lifeofa-fangirl @gr8rainbowpunk @que--sera--sera @unitersmoonshine @achilleveleno

#maneskin fiction #damiano david imagine #damiano david x you #damiano david x reader #damiano david fiction #maneskin imagine #maneskin x you #maneskin x reader #quiet music #bethanysnow #mywriting

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multitudeofmeus · 3 years

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SwollenScientist's 40 or so Inflation Prompt Malarkey!

(Have you ever seen the 40 chub prompts thing by chubbyshiro and wondered "Where's the inflation? I want my characters round and blimpy, goddamn it!" Well, for one, stop being so abrasive! It just had to be a query.

For two: Look no further! They're here now! And in no particular order, too!

Made in collaboration with @sugar-plump-gal! Your input was invaluable!) 1. Popping (specify nonfatal/fatal.)

2. Berry (or other fruit, not too picky.)

3. Full body

4. Helium inflation

5. Factory shenanigans (Yes, THAT factory. Specifying a room helps! Come up with one, even! Very good combo number.)

6. Leaking (Not deflation. Just excess substance that's being drained naturally to make way for more substance.)

7. Fast-paced inflation. (If you remember chubprompts, they called it "Rapid". This is the same thing, but inflation.)

8. Puffkissing

9. Transfer (From one blimp to a regular person, stuff gets exchanged. How? Who knows?)

10. Permablimp. (No normal. Only new normal. Can still grow, but deflating will just leave them to the default roundish size.) 11. Incremental Inflation. (little by little...)

12. Specific inflated area. (I didn't want "round titty" and the like to take up too many numbers, so I combined them. Specify instead.)

13. Nonstandard substance (Sure, it's a liquid, but it doesn't have to be water or something. Be creative! (but stay within the kinks of whoever posts this, please. Be horny, but civil too.))

14. Odd methods of keeping a round in place. (Can't have them floating off into space, y'know?)

15. The blimp themselves trying to be mobile. (It ain't pretty.)

16. Voice affection by substance. (You think they're talking normal after all THAT?)

17. Burst tease. ("Hey, wanna see this cool needle I found?")

18. Oneupmanship (That isn't round, THIS is!)

19. Accidentally inflated (Whoops! Guess I'm round.)

20. Amateur inflation ("First time?")

21. Practical uses for inflation (Just because you're round doesn't mean you're not useful.)

22. Mundane uses for inflation (We can't all lead interesting lives.)

23. Hose. (Location, location, location. Specify ass or mouth. Or both. It matters more than you think.

24. Suit inflation. (Placebo.)

25. Outfits for inflation. (Not related to 24. Just a good, stretchy getup. Nice and cozy.)

26. Outfits tearing. (They're not all for it.)

27. Sports. (Be the ball! Literally!)

28. Limitless. (Can't stop won't stop!)

29. Nonstandard methods. (It's not always a tank. Get creative!)

30. Filling a space. (Waste not, want not!)

31. At/beyond their limit. (They're made to be broken!)

32. Contagion. (It's spreading!)

33. Instantaneous. (When rapid isn't fast enough...)

34. Science. (All side effects are intended if you aren't a coward.)

35. Magic. (Science for fantasy people.)

36. Rolling. (The spin cycle of life.)

37. Soda. (An odd substance, both air AND water inflation.)

38. General teasing. (Would've been near 17, but forgot about it until now.)

39. Stuckage. (They really do be making walkways with only regular people in mind, smh)

40. Handflapping or Footkicking. (A personal favorite.)

41. Unaware inflation. (Don't know what you got 'til it happens.)

42. Casual. (Sometimes you gotta chill out.)

43. Low capacity. (Inverse of 28. Why use a lot when a little works?)

Sidenote: if the reblogger is using the 40 hub prompts alongside this, differentiate the numbers by adding a little i to the end of it. (Example: 39 would be 39i)

#stuff to rb

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timeladyjamie · 3 years

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My Advice for Fanfiction Writers

This is advice I wish I would have gotten from other writers when I was first starting out 8 years ago, but it’s just something I’ve learned along the way on my own from personal experience.

𝗗𝗢𝗡'𝗧 𝗗𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗞, 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗗𝗢𝗡'𝗧 𝗙𝗘𝗘𝗟 𝗚𝗢𝗢𝗗 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗜𝗧!

Don’t worry about not getting reviews/comments. I know you’d love feedback or just something to know others are reading your work, but if you think about this too much, it will discourage you, which is the worst thing to happen.

Write when you feel inspired. There is nothing worse than forcing it and not having it turn out like you want it. You gotta let the ideas and words flow to you at times.

Do things that make you feel inspired. Studies show that going on a walk in nature, exercising or listening to music usually helps kick that writers block. Sometimes, however, you might just have to take a break entirely.

Plot! Plot! Plot! I cannot stress this enough. Most of my writers block stems from trying to go off of the things in my head instead of writing it down and structuring it out first. In fact, I’ve found that just taking down notes helps too.

𝗗𝗢𝗡'𝗧 𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗟 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗚𝗘𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗗𝗢𝗪𝗡! I’ve had quite a few of these type of people in my time of writing fanfiction. They are the ones who don’t leave constructive criticism (though they may call it that), and instead leave comments like: “Wow, your OC is a Mary-sue.” “This is terrible, fuck off.” It’s easier said then done, but disregard them. They usually either: 1. want you to delete your story, 2. are jealous they can’t write, or 3. don’t understand your story.

Be open to constructive criticism (not the troll’s.) Every review/comment leaves you open for this opportunity, but that doesn’t mean it will always happen. However, there is that occasional reader who ACTUALLY takes the time to give you some proper feedback. BLESS THEM! They will tell you what could need improving, ask questions and even offer helpful tips. This is usually from fellow writers like yourself. Don’t turn down an opportunity to learn and grow.

𝗗𝗢𝗡'𝗧 𝗗𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗞, 𝗘𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗩𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗧 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗜𝗣! Chances are there are some readers out there who really love it and come back and visit it from time to time. Also...you’re gonna regret deleting it, especially if you ever wanna come back and finish it. (Trust me...I know it all too well.)

𝗙𝗘𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗘 𝗢𝗖'𝗦 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬-𝗦𝗨𝗘'𝗦!

Say it with me again: NOT ALL FEMALE OC’S ARE MARY-SUE’S! This is a mentality in general that needs to break. Seriously, female OC’s get the most hate for just existing sometimes. It’s gotta stop. No, I will not be taking comments for it. Thank you!

Everyone perceives things differently. It’s all about POV. That’s the beauty of life, but it’s also the beauty of being a reader and writer too. You may mean for story to be interpreted one way, but one of the readers may perceive things another way. Sometimes what you write may not click with someone....and THAT’S OKAY!

You’ll find your audience...it will just take time. I know some fandom’s are more active than others, but it also just depends on the reader too. Honestly, I can’t get any of my in-person friends to read my stuff, but I have friends online who check it out, and some who even share it around. Don’t worry, you’ll find your audience. They are probably already there, just lurking.

Fanfiction is all about exploring ideas and being creative. If someone doesn’t like your idea, they don’t have to read it. It’s not hurting anyone. Fanfiction also helps other people escape certain things or to just relax. Just write your story and keep going at it. Someone out there will enjoy it.

𝗗𝗢𝗡'𝗧 𝗗𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗞! 𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗥𝗘 𝗚𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 𝗥𝗘𝗚𝗥𝗘𝗧 𝗜𝗧!

Writers Support Writers! Seriously, we are a community who loves to create things we are passionate about, collaborate on ideas, fan over them and cheer each other on. It also helps you find friends and more of an audience. So, what’s the best way to help an author/creator? SHARE THEIR WORK! REBLOG! One simple click is all it takes.

Fanfiction is sometimes where most writers begin. You’d be surprised by this answer I got from professional writers, some working for certain companies too. Fanfiction is sometimes where the journey to being a writer begins. It’s a learning process. It’s a growing process. It’s where I began 8 years ago and discovered my passion for writing. Now I’m working on becoming a professional writer.

This brings me back to the fact: DON’T DELETE YOUR WORK! I cannot stress this enough. You can look back on your old projects and see how far you’ve grown as a writer.

𝗖𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗕𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗚𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦! Throw a party! Brag about it! Seriously, be proud of yourself and how far you’ve come. Take joy in that new chapter you just posted. You’re amazing for just taking the time to sit down and write something you’re passionate about!

𝗜𝗧'𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗬! 𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘 𝗜𝗧 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙! It’s the reason you began in the first place, right? You wanted to write something you thought would be cool to explore. Don’t minimize your ideas or yourself because of others. (See Don’t Let Troll Reviewers Get You Down above) At the end of the day, it’s your story. You wrote it. The only opinion that truly matters concerning your story is your own.

HAVE FUN EXPLORING IDEAS AND KEEP AT IT YOU AMAZING HUMAN BEING!

#fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction writers #fanfiction authors #fanfiction memes #writers #writing #ao3 #archive of our own #wattpad #fanfiction net

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firefly464 · 3 years

Text

The Gilded Cage - Chapter 9

hehe i’m very excited :) also thank you pami for doing write time with me that was super poggers and awesome you’re so cool

Written in collaboration with @pamiiap :D Thank you @tea-with-veth for beta reading, and editing :D

Master Post

First - Previous - Next

~~~

Three days. That’s how long Eret stayed with the computer. Three days of nothing but staring at the same screen, desperately trying to test out different commands to see what would work. Three days of sitting in a dark, cold room, with nothing to keep him warm.

Over the past three days, Eret had barely slept.

He’d lingered there for hours, the clicking of the keyboard and flashing of the screen filling his senses. All he could think about was this could be his way home. A way to end this and leave it all behind. Maybe he could wake up and it would all be a dream.

A dream.

Dream.

Dream was his friend. Dream was…

Dream was.

After hours of clawing at the keys for an escape, he hesitated for a moment. He curled his hands into fists and relaxed them, trying to release the tension he had.

Instead of typing commands, he typed:

Why?

If anyone is reading, send me something

A sign, preferably

Tell me I’m not alone

Give me something

Anything

The shaking in his hands slowed, the edges of his vision melted away. He watched as his world faded into darkness.

~~~

“Hey, chat!” He says, on impulse. “How’s it been? Feels like forever.”

“Sorry for the long hiatus, life’s been throwing curveballs at me.” He continues.

Don’t worry!

You’re fine!

Its okay :D

“I hope you guys have been alright. Don’t know what we’ll be doing with this stream so I’m going to start a little poll in the chat here…”

Time melts away as he talks to his stream, he knows that. That’s how streams usually go. It happens in a blur, the eyes of thousands of people aren’t on him anymore. The stream has ended.

He falls into nothingness.

~~~

Journal Entry #1

I found the Console, still can’t get back home yet though. I’m still unsure on how it works, but I know, I know, that I can get home. It’s kind of like a command block, you can input code but it needs some sort of activation key to trigger it. Haven’t found that yet.

I’ll update this as I find more information.

Journal Entry #2

Text commands seem to work, more extreme commands need the trigger. I really should make some sort of command list, that might help.

Journal Entry #3

I’ve made a list on a separate paper. I’m running out of space.

Journal Entry #6

What could the trigger be? I need to find it.

Journal Entry #8

I haven’t slept in three days. I need to head back.

Journal Entry #9

Nothing new as of the moment. I’m going to start working on a trigger to activate this thing.

Journal Entry #10

I wonder if I could undo whatever Dream did to everyone’s memories? I wonder if I could make it so that they didn’t hate me anymore.

Journal Entry #13

I can’t sleep.

Journal Entry #15

Going home back again. Bad’ll still have muffins, I hope. (If George didn’t eat them already)

Journal Entry #16

George ate my muffins. Prick >:(

Journal Entry #17

Packing for another trip to the Console today. Bad made extra muffins to compensate for the atrocity that happened yesterday. (Sidenote: George had his muffin privileges removed for a day)

Journal Entry #20

Bad’s worried. I wouldn’t blame him. I don’t think I can blame myself either. I have to get home.

Journal Entry #24

I’m here. Glad no-one’s tampered with my list. I’ve been gathering some redstone supplies to try and make a prototype trigger.

Journal Entry #27

I’ve tried several combinations of levers and buttons and redstone but nothing seems to activate it. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

Journal Entry #28

Nothing’s working.

Journal Entry #30

Can’t sleep again.

Journal Entry #32

I don’t think I’ve eaten.

Journal Entry #33

I have to go ho back. I need to be more careful, George and Bad are getting worried. I don’t want them to be worried about me. They don’t even know me.

Journal Entry #34

Do I even know them?

Journal Entry #37

I won’t go to the Console for a couple of days. That might calm them down.

The weather’s getting warmer actually. I think spring might be almost here. Not sure if seasons might not work the same.

Journal Entry #38

George says it’s already mid-spring. I didn’t realize I’d been here for so long

Journal Entry #???

I want to go home.

~~~

Eret closed the small book with a sigh. Ever since he had found the console several months ago, he had tried to do his best to keep a record of what he found.

However, the journal had quickly turned into a place for him to pour his emotions, rather than document his findings. All of his actual records were with the console itself, where he could better keep track of them.

He placed the small book in his bag, before swinging it over his shoulders. He needed to go back. Even if everything about the small, dark room made him want to scream, it was his only hope. His only way of potentially returning home.

Gently, he pushed back the small curtain that separated his room from the rest of the community house. Even after several months of staying here, he still hadn’t bothered to make an actual room. After all, it wasn’t like he had a ton of free time.

Almost all of his time was spent either at the console, or digging out tunnels underneath L’manberg. God, he hated those tunnels.

As he gently stepped out into the main room, he quickly glanced around, checking to see if the coast was clear.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t trust Bad or George, in fact it was quite the opposite. He just… He hated making them worry. He knew how much his frequent visits bothered both of them, and so lately he had begun trying to quietly slip away.

He was almost at the front door of the community house, when a voice called out to him.

“Eret?”

He froze.

Shit.

Maybe, if he kept walking, whoever it was would just… let him go. Maybe he could pretend like he didn’t hear them, and he could just move on with his day. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to figure out the best course of action.

“Eret? Are you alright?”

Fuck.

He slowly turned around, trying his best not to grimace when he saw Bad standing at one of the other doors.

“Hey…” The word sounded forced, even to him. “Uh, I was just… um…”

Bad’s face fell ever so slightly as he noticed the small bag slung across Eret’s back.

“Are you going to the forest again?” Eret tried his best to ignore the way that Bad’s voice was tinged with a slight disappointment. It would only make him feel guilty.

“Uh, yeah…”

“Were you just going to leave again? Without telling anyone?” Although there was no accusation in his tone, the words still cut deep, acting as a harsh reminder of his own actions.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, trying to dispel some of the nervous energy that was swirling around him. “I didn’t want to worry you guys anymore… I left a note upstairs though, I swear!”

That was a lie. There was no note, there never was a note. But if claiming that there was helped to ease Bad’s worries, then that was what he was going to do.

He could tell that Bad didn’t believe him. Although his friend would never actually call him out on it, he could still tell from the way his shoulders slumped ever so slightly, or the small frown that crossed his face.

“Ok… Well, before you head out again, me and George were hoping to give you something,” Bad’s voice was filled with a forced cheerfulness, complete with a matching smile.

Eret’s head shot up in disbelief. What on earth did they possibly have to give him? They had already done so much to help him, what more could there possibly be?

Tendrils of guilt began to worm their way through Eret’s mind, reminding him of all the ways his friends had helped him over the past months, and all the ways he had failed to return their kindness. How was he supposed to accept yet another gift?

“I really don’t need anything, you guys have already done enough for me,” he protested, knowing full well that nothing he could say would actually dissuade Bad.

“Nonsense, this is something that we wanted to do for you. Hold on, I’ll go get George. Don’t go anywhere!” he cried out, already rushing out of the building.

Eret let out a long sigh at the final sentence. Of course Bad didn’t trust him to not run off.

Why would he?

~~~

Despite every instinct in his body that was telling him to run, Eret found himself rooted to the spot where he stood. When Bad returned nearly 10 minutes later with George behind him, he had hardly moved.

“So… What exactly is going on?” Even to his own ears, his voice sounded forced and strained.

“Well, George and I were talking,” Bad started, already rummaging through one of the many chests that lined the walls, “and we realized that you’re going to be king soon, right?”

Eret couldn’t help but flinch at the reminder. To him, the title of king was nothing more than a reminder of what he had lost. A reminder of the pain he had caused for his friends. A reminder of the pain that he would continue to cause.

But still, he couldn’t let his own reluctance show. If he remembered correctly, becoming king had meant a lot to his alter-ego. Hell, he had gone so far as to betray his friends, just so that he could secure the crown.

And so he forced a smile onto his face, doing his best to swallow the bitter taste in his mouth. “I mean, yeah. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to happen for a while, but… yeah that was the idea. Why?”

Bad’s grin grew wider, his face alight with barely contained excitement as he continued searching through different chests. Even George, who rarely showed any outward excitement around Eret, had a small smile on his face.

“You’ll see, it’s a surprise. I just gotta find it first”

“I uh, I think it's hanging up downstairs,” George interjected, already moving towards the stairs, “I can go grab it, hold on.”

He was gone only for a few moments before he emerged at the top of the staircase, holding something behind his back, hidden from Eret’s line of sight. “Do you wanna explain what it is?” He asked, his question clearly directed at Bad.

Bad nodded, then turned back to Eret, pride showing in his eyes. “Well, we wanted to get you something nice for your coronation. I know it probably isn’t going to be for a while, but you’ve seemed really stressed lately, and we wanted to do something nice for you!”

George grinned, revealing a long, extravagant coat from behind his back. “Sapnap and Punz helped out with collecting dyes as well.”

The silk coat was a deep shade of crimson, embellished with gold accents. It felt nice to touch but it was also durable. The inside of the coat was lined with an insulating fur that pokes over the collar, making the inside of it warm.

He glanced up at both George and Bad, his brow furrowed in slight confusion. “Wait… Wait is this… What?”

“It’s a coat! I know it gets cold at night so we made you this. Not to mention, a king should look the part.”

Tears started to form in his eyes, threatening to spill over as he gently took the coat. “Thank you” He forced out, unsure of what else he was supposed to say.

“Go on then,” George said. “Put it on!”

Slowly, he took off the tattered L’manburg uniform, bloodied and stained with dirt, and put on the new coat. It felt… different. But, a good different.

“Thank you.”

~~~

Several days had passed since Eret had last left the community house. Several days since George and Bad had gifted him the red coat.

George could tell that their friend's absence was starting to chip away at Bad, his worry festering underneath his skin. By the third day, George had had enough.

He quickly packed two bags, complete with everything that they would need for a long journey. He might not have known where exactly their friend had gone, but they knew the general direction. That would have to be enough.

“Hey Bad!” He called out, his friend quickly coming down the stairs of the community house.

“Whats up?”

“Come on, we’re gonna go look for him.”

~~~

Neither of them had any idea what they were looking for, all they knew was that it was somewhere in the eastern dark oak forest. They had spent nearly a week searching every nook and cranny of the woods, never finding any trace of their friend.

That is, until they stumbled across a pathway. The dirt had been worn down, leaving a trail that they could follow.

The path had led to a small clearing, with a dark building in the center.

Both George and Bad had recognized the strange material almost instantly. Bedrock. Eret had somehow found a building made of bedrock.

What the hell.

The area surrounding the building was devoid of any human life, the only exception being a lone horse that was sleeping in the warm sun.

“Well, I think we found him…” Bad’s voice was filled with concern.

As they stepped into the strange building, they saw the room completely empty except for a machine in the middle. And unconscious at the desk, was…

“Eret?!”

~~~

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#alright you can have some fluff #as a treat #the real world #the gilded cage #split realities #eret #the_eret #dream smp #dsmp #mcyt #mcyt au #my writing #badboyhalo #georgenotfound

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gay-salt-amber · 3 years

Text

Where the hell is Kenma?!

Yuri on Ice x Haikyuu crossover

Just so you know, all the figure skaters kids are close with the other skaters so they consider ever skater they're close with family so the whole uncle aunt thing is just a friend thing

warnings: Gay, swearing, etc

Ships: leoji, yakulev, minotayuri

Пока= bye

All Russian is google translated

For the parents the kids will just be calling them by their names unless one parents is without the others then they will be called dad so it doesn't get confusing

Kenma pov

It was 10 alcock at night and I was up playing my video games as usual with Hinata, Lev and some other friends. We were playing a game that was a collaboration between Nerf and Xbox, it was quite good. Not my favorite shooter of all time but it was alright. When the match was over and the 20 second map and round type selection started, my phone rang. I was on a discord call with my friends so they saw the phone going up to my ear. Right when I was about to answer Lev spoke up,

"Who is it?" He asked

"Georgi."

"Popovich?"

"Yeah."

"Who's this Georgi?" Hinata seemed confused but curious.

"Just a family friend of ours." I answered, I don't wanna go into me and Lev being legally related right now.

"Oh, cool!"

I looked down at my phone and unlocked it to see the messages, "I might need to not play this round for a bit I need to respond to these texts." I said

The rest of them agreed and I went back to the messages.

---

Georgi: I was just wanting to remind you that the plane leaves at 7, so get some sleep kid.

Kenma: Thanks uncle Georgi, I'll try.

Georgi: Do you want us to bring the Russian team bus to pick you up from your house?

Kenma: Sure when are yall getting here?

Georgi: 6 prolly, depends on how long Lila and Yakov wanna take. Old asses -w-

Kenma: pfft xD

Kenma: Anyway, I need to get back to my friends see you later.

Georgi: K, get some sleep, my favorite nephew ☆⌒(*＾-゜)v

----

I unmuted my mic on the call and spoke after like 5 minutes

"Back, hows the round going?"

I didn't hear my dear Shoyo but instead Lev, "Good, Hinata got tired though and had to leave."

When I was about to say I needed to leave to, Lev spoke again,

"Oh yeah! You should get going, you don't wanna miss the flight!"

Once I exited the game I turned back to my monitor that had discord and moved it back to my main monitor, "I was about to say that."

"Пока" I said, my Russian feeling a little rusty.

"Пока Kenma!"

Pressing the 'end call' button made me sigh with relief, standing up, I walked over to my closet and grabbed some clothes for a shower before bed. I grabbed some long, loose black pants and a old Russian figure skating team shirt that one of my dads got me. While I was walking to the bathroom I was looking through some notes for class and deleted stuff I didn't need since I was going to be in an entire different country for a while.

I got out of the shower, dried my hair and put on my clothes. Once I got to the door, I looked into the mirror and I had an idea, 'Should I put my hair in braids so it'll look wavy tomorrow? Yeah that'll look nice!' I reached over and grabbed two small clear hair ties and put my hair into two braids.

I finally opened the bathroom door and walked back to my room to call it a night and sleep. Once I reached my room I noticed something, "You mother fucker.." I didn't pack my bags for the fucking trip. I whipped out my phone and thought of who I could message, we were gonna be in a bunch of places for skating and I wanted to check for how long, but guess what?! I don't know whos awake!

Right when I was about to wing it, I remembered its like 9 in the morning for Leo de la Iglesia, who is an American skater which I consider family. I guessed he would be up since he and Guang-Hong Ji, his boyfriend typically wake up at 7 to eat breakfast and go on a run together, virtually since they live in different countries but I guess they try. It took a while to find this name in my contacts since my phone doesn't really sort through who I texted recently but instead it sorts alphabetically the only time I would see his name at the top is if I had an unread message from him, which I don't. I kept scrolling reading off the letters as I went. H,I,J,K....

I finally got to L and found his name since I only have like 3 people whos name start with L in my contacts, I opened it and cringed at the date of the last sent message, 'June 1st' which was a happy pride month message. My fingers tapped on the message bar and I started typing quickly.

------

Kenma: Hey uncle Leo ヾ(•ω•`)o

Kenma: Ik this is a weird time to text since I should be sleeping but, you're the only one awake.

Leo: Ey Kozume! 💅 What do you need?

Kenma: I was wanting to know how long the competitions are gonna be , I forgot to pack soo...

Leo: Ah! Well you're going to be on the trip for a week and Georgi's gonna take you back to Japan the Monday afterwards

Kenma: I- Isn't it longer then that? (⊙_⊙)？

Leo: Yes but we know that Neko-

Kenma: Nekoma?

Leo: How ever the fuck you spell your schools name 😑

Leo: Anyway, we know you have a game against Karasuno the next day and we know you would wanna play in that sooo...

Kenma: Cool, thanks.

Leo: Np, see you in America (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

----

Once I was done snickering to myself at Leo and I's conversation, I walked over to my clothes drawers and got out the clothes I wanted, one formal outfit, some pj's and some casual stuff. I put that stuff in one suitcase and put my miscellaneous stuff in a smaller drawstring bag that had a bunch of video game pins on it. I walked downstairs to put my stuff by the door and when I got there I saw someone come in, it were my dads, Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin and Minami Kenjiro.

I walked up and hugged all 3 of them, "Hey kiddo."

Since I decided to say screw sleep and talk to my parents which is something I didn't get to do much at this time of the year often since they have practice all the time. So we sat on the couch and had dinner while watching tv as a family and talked about their practice

Yuri chirped up while eating some rice, "Mila was being a bitch."

"Oh? What happened?" I asked

"So you know her kid Tendō?"

Minami put his chopsticks down and joined in the conversation, "He's that kid that goes to Shiratorizawa Academy right?"

"So, he's gonna be joining the Russian team since the he doesn't like the Italian team."

"Yet his uncle and other mom is on that team." Otabek pointed out

"Yeah."

"I don't get how she was being a bitch?" I said, trying to get the conversation back to the main point,

"Her ass was bragging about all practice, like shit I couldn't get 2 fucking works out without her interrupting."

We all laughed, and went back to eating.

After we were finished we all were doing the dishes, "Go upstairs and get some sleep kiddo, I'll do the rest of the dishes. Yuri, go get some rest too." Minami said

"Are you not going to America, Beka?" Yuri asked.

The black haired boy shrugged, "No, for some reason my couch decided I'm not going, I don't know why."

Minami was another one of my dads who was staying home, ever since they adopted me when I was 4 he always declined going to any skating competitions that weren't in Japan so that if I ever had an emergency someone would always be there. This meant that only me and Yuri, my blonde, sassy, Russian dad were going to America for the 3 back to back skating events that were happening there.

"I wonder why Lev's not going.."

"Your school doesn't want you both out when a game is so close." Otabek was right I still thought it was stupid since he was looking forward to this event, he's always wanted to go to America after all. But as compromise I promised to send him a lot of photos.

Minami who was still washing the dishes started shoving us out of the kitchen, "Yeah yeah, cut the chat get your butts upstairs and I don't wanna see you two down here until morning!" He said, waving a wooden spoon in the air as we walked up the stairs, laughing.

We reached the upstairs, both of my dads gave me a kiss on the forehead and wished me a good night. I walked into my room and instantly my tiredness from earlier came back to wack me in the face with 5 times the strength of before. I walked over to my bed and just.. flopped.

--In the morning--

My alarm for 5:30 went off and I got up, still tired but meh, nothing a bit of coffee wont fix. I walked over to my closet and got out a hoodie Shoyo gave me, it was a Karasuno hoodie with Shoyo's name and volleyball number, 10 on the back. I inhaled the scent of my lover. I'm gonna miss him but I still can call him. I grabbed a thin t-shirt to wear underneath and some soft black pants with red on the side, after I grabbed my clothes I walked to the bathroom and got changed. After that I took my braids out, my hair looked great!

When I left the bathroom right when I put my foot on the first step to head downstairs the scent of waffles hit my nose, I started to go quicker down the stairs since I fucking love waffles and I am starving! Once I got there Minami greeted me.

"Hey kiddo, did you sleep good?"

"Yeah." I nodded

"Are your other dads not up yet?"

"Nah." I shook my head getting out a plate.

"Before you eat imma wake them up."

I rubbed my forehead before sighing, "Oh god what are you planning, pops?"

"Nothing, let me just..." After finicking with his phone I heard a blast of noise from my parents room and the line I knew too well of "WELCOME TO THE MADNESS" blasted through the door. After like 2 seconds they were up and downstairs.

"You get creative when it comes to waking us up." Otabek yawned while Yuri wiped his eyes.

"I know, glad you're finally catching on~" Minami said, getting sassy, which he normally was this early in the morning.

"What'd you make for breakfast?" I asked.

"Apple waffles!"

I ran to the counter happily, grabbing like 3 fucking waffles.. What can I say? I love apple things!

"Goddamn! Leave some for us!" Yuri teased

"Nah~" I joked back.

When we had just finished our food, we were setting our dishes into the sink and just chatting, we heard a knock on the door. I turned to the clock, '6:00' almost on the dot. "Man when they say they'll be here at 6, they aren't kidding." Otabek said, looking at the bus through the window.

I snickered and got my shoes on, me and Yuri grabbed our suitcases and after my adopted dad kissed my other dads, we were out the door and on the bus. I stopped to talk to Mila whom was driving while Yuri went to go sit in the back by himself.

I tapped the red head on the shoulder, "Hey Mila can we make a stop before we go to the airport?"

She grinned "Yeah, of course, the flight was delayed a half hour anyway for whatever fucking reason."

"Ok, can we stop at Karasuno I uh.. Wanna see someone before we leave.."

Mila let out a quiet gasp before whispering, "Is this the boy you've been talking about?"

I nodded and Mila laughed, "Sure, I don't see why not!"

I gave a light smile and went to go sit down.

--When they stopped at Karasuno, Hinata pov--

"We aren't doing anything special today, hell do what you want if you wanna sit and chat do that, I am giving you a free day before we practice for our match against Nekoma." Couch Ukai explained

We all nodded with a 'yes couch' coming out of all us.

Me and Yamaguchi stayed chatting when our long haired ace, Asahi came in, "Sorry I'm late but there's a bus outside that says, 'Russian Figure Skating Team' outside for whatever reason."

"I wonder why..." I brushed it off though and continued talking to Yams

We kept talking before I heard a familiar voice, "Shoyo? Are you here?"

"Kenma!" I exclaimed before I jumped up and ran to give him a hug which almost knocked him over in the process.

"Hi Shoyo, its good to see you."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, releasing the hug and just holding his hands and I spoke again

"I mean there's a weird bus that says Russian Figure Skating Team or something outside but why are you here?"

"That's my ride." Kenma answered plainly.

"That's your- WHAT!" I was surprised and the others came over

Kenma laughed, "That's why I came here, I wanted to let you know I'm going to be gone for a week."

"Why? Did something happen?" Suga asked from the back

"No, no! I'm going to skate in America, I'll be back for our game though." His answer made me more curious

Noya's voice rang from the right, "When are you leaving?"

"Around 7:30, our plane got delayed but I get to talk with you more, right Shoyo?"

I was about to sit down when the door swung open and there stood someone who looked a bit like Kenma, but different colored eyes and plain blonde hair

"I'm hanging out in here with you kid."

"Yakov being annoying?"

"да ебать его задницу!"

"Who are you sir?" Asked Asahi who was putting away the few volleyballs that were used since most of the team was chatting, it was a free day after all

"This is Yuri Plisetsky, my dad." Kenma explained

"Cool."

I tilted my head, wondering what he said, I knew it was Russian just based on context but I didn't know what, "What was that you were saying?"

"He said, "yeah fuck his ass" My blonde boyfriend translated

"Ooh."

"Well before we go might as well do this," Kenma sighed as he held my hand tighter,

"Dad, this is my boyfriend, Shoyo." Kenma looked nervous.

"As long as he treats you well, then I don't care."

"W-wait that's it?!" Kenma seemed surprised

Yuri clutched his chest in laughter, "I-I'm sorry! Just.."

"Are you forgetting who I am?"

"What?"

"Kiddo, I am a trans gay man who has been married with 2 other men in a poly relationship for 2 years now, what'd you want me to say?"

Hinata looked surprised but also relived, "Really? That's so cool!"

Yuri looked at me and rolled his eyes and messaged the bridge of his nose, "Really? You went for the fanboy?"

"Dad, you're married to one."

"Meh, true."

We were talking for a while longer with me just being lovey as usual when someone else walked through the door and yelled "ITS JJ STYLE!" Which Yuri's dad looked pissed about

"I'll get him out give me a second."

"убирайся отсюда, канадский ебать!" Yuri yelled as he proceeded to shove the man I'm guessing named JJ out

"What'd he say?" I asked

"Get out of here you Canadian fuck."

"Oooh."

With that a new people entered, "Kozume!" A voice called,

"Hi Gramps."

"Whos this?" I questioned with my hand still on Kenma's

"That's my grandpa, Victor Katsuki-Nikiforov."

"That's so cool!"

Kenma blushed and just nodded,

"Does my grandson have a boyfriend~"

"Yep, this is Shoyo."

"So he's the one I keep hearing Chris say you brag about?"

"Mhm."

"We-"

Before Victor could continue I heard a slam

"Двигай своей задницей, черт возьми, свинья!" (Move your ass fucking pig!) And in came Yuri kicking another black haired boy in through the door.

"Yurio be nice you your mother!"

"HES NOT MY MOTHER! AND STOP CALLING ME YURIO!" He yelled back

Victor sighed, "Well we have 2 Yuri's here its confusing!"

The grey haired mans tone quickly changed, "Anyway~"

He helped Yuuri up and waltzed on back over to us, "Our grandson has a boyfriend!!!!"

"Awh that's great!"

"Aaand Shoyo, meet my other grandpa, Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov"

"It's nice to meet you."

We talked a bit before Yuuri spoke up,

"We should get going, the others probably wanna get coffee before we go to the airport."

"Oh, yeah, I guess so."

I was sad that they had to leave because Kenma noticed and his face softened because when they were getting up to leave, he gave me a soft kiss on the lips,

" I will call you every chance I get, Ok baby?"

"Alright, I'll see you next week at the game?"

"Yes, I love you."

"I love you too." Those were the last words I said to Kenma in person for a week.

When I turned around I heard someone yell, "KOZUME HAS A BOYFRIEND!"

Lev pov--

Kenma: We're having another fucking flight delay!

Lev: I still wish I could've gone with!

Kenma: I know, you were really wanting to come, right?

Lev: Ofc! I have always wanted to go to America! 😭😭😭

Kenma: Oof

Lev: Hold on the team is worried about you, give me a moment

Kenma: Gl Kuroos gonna be all like 'well why didn't I know?!' or some shit

Lev: mhm 😑

---

I turned off my phone and listened to the rest of the team freak out about the gamer boys missing

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!" Yaku yelled out of panic

"Yaku, I am sure he's fine.." Yamamoto said, trying to keep the peace

"Well we don't know that! Hell! He didn't even tell me anything.." Kuroo was also pissed which just made me wanna chuckle since Kenma was right about Kuroos reaction.

"Uhm..."

"What Lev?"

"Well about Kenma being gone, I know where he is I just thought this was funny."

"So us worrying is funny?!"

"When I know why, yes."

Kuroo rolled his eyes, "Lev, Kenma never talks to you."

"Yes, yes he does, you don't know every fucking thing he does." I snapped.

"Are you sure?" Kuroo retorted

"Whos he dating?"

"I-"

"See you dont even know that"

"Fucking- Whatever just where is he?" Yaku asked

I held out my phone and showed the texts

"Where the hell is he going?! We have a game!"

"Yaku, please shut the fuck up." I whispered.

"What?!"

"Yaku I love you, but please shut the fuck up, he doesn't care about the game right now, he will be back for the game with Karasuno, but he is with family and doing something that will contribute to his future. Now shut up пожалуйста, перестань любопытствовать и дай ему жить!" (please stop prying and let him live!)

"..."

I took a step back, I swore my boyfriend out... I even yelled at him in Russian!

I felt like I wanted to cry, I didn't wanna snap like that.. Then I heard the door open

"HA I KNEW HE WOULD CUSS SOMEONE OUT! Виктор! ты должен мне 20 долларов!" (Victor you owe me 20) I turned to the voice,

"Oh praise god." I sighed

Yurio was walking up to me, "ты в порядке? ты выглядишь напряженным .." (are you okay? you look tense)

"Я огрызнулся на своего парня, и я устал, угадай" (I snapped at my boyfriend and I'm tired, guess)

"What are they saying.." Yaku was confused

"Well apologize you fuck!" Yurio scoffed

"..."

"Sorry sir, but Lev is fine, I was the one who deserved it."

"I'm still sorry!"

"Even better question! Lev, you can speak Russian!?" Kuroo seemed surprised

"Yeah, I just didn't wanna hear the, 'oh! Say my name in Russian' or, 'say something in Russian!' that gets annoying fast!"

"Oh, Beka has the same problem whenever he says he's from Kazakhstan."

"Anyway, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the airport with the rest of the Russian team."

"We would be in the sky by now is the plane would stop getting fucking delayed!"

"Well let the team rest in here! Its probably hot as fuck in that bus."

"Smartest thing you've said all day, Levochka." And with that he left

"And who was that?" Yaku's tone was serious so I beckoned the team over to the bench to explain

"So you know how I have left practice early?"

"Yes?"

"That's because I do figure skating and I am hoping to go into it full time when I am older and that person who was here a bit ago was a part of the Russian Figure Skating team."

"Nice!" Someone commented from the end of the bench

"Levochka!" A voice called,

"DAD!" I raced to meet the voice and gave a big hug to my father, Victor Nikiforov and gave my other dad, Yuri Katsuki a hug when he entered short after.

Yaku came up from behind, and kicked me, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOUR PARENTS WERE FAMOUS SKATERS YOU FUCK!"

Upon seeing that the Russian team was pissed, "Держи свои гребаные ноги от него, ублюдок размером с муравей!"

"I still don't know what yall are saying.."

A voice came from the back, "Georgi said, "Keep your fucking feet off him, ant-sized motherfucker" I recognized Kenma's voice quickly

"Ey! I thought you would stay on the bus!" Yurio called

"Well, I finished my level and I have nothing else to play until a few daily bonuses roll in."

"Kid you run through games like me and Lev run through a thing of pirozhkis.."

"Meh I keep myself entertained."

"KENMA?!" Kuroo called, ran up and started to shake the boy

"I WAS WORRIED WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US WHERE YOU WERE GOING?1"

"Because it doesn't concern you, besides its not like I'm gonna be gone forever.."

"Kozume I am your best friend! You tell your best friend this shit!"

"Uh..." Kenma stuttered

"What?! Is there anything else you wanna tell me?!"

"1: I don't owe you shit and 2: Lev and Shoyo are my best friends, Теперь слезай с высокой лошади, ты трахаешься" (Now get off the high horse, you fuck)

"That's my boy!" Yurio cheered

Yuuri shook his head and turned to me, "Anyway, Lev can we pull you and Yaku to the side we wanna talk to you two."

I nodded and grabbed Yaku's hand and we exited the gym with my dads

"Levochka.. Are you sure he's the one you want?" My dad asked gently

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you said that this was your boyfriend when we talked about it before but are you sure he is what you want? I mean he kicks you and gets physical it seems a lot. I just want for you to be safe." My dad explained.

Yaku looked nervous as my dead continued, "Hell even Yurio when we adopted him, was never physical with anyone who didn't deserve it.. Minus Yuuri but you get what I mean."

I grabbed Yaku's hand, "I know but Yaku's trying and that's all I can really ask.."

Yuuri started to talk "Lev please be safe." His face was one of worry

"I'm sorry Mr. Nikiforov, I've been trying my hardest to not be as bad as I was, I am trying for your sons sake, I wanna make him happy.."

"I can see that and I hope you keep trying."

"I will, I care about Lev so much I wouldn't do anything to actually hurt him, I love him too much to do that."

"Th-"

"HEY VICTOR WE NEED TO GET TO THE AIRPORT!" Called Yakov's voice loud from the bus.

"Coming! Lets go!"

After gathering the others they left, till next week will we see them again.

#Yuri on ice #Haikyuu #Yuri on ice x haikyuu

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firelord-frowny · 3 years

Text

I’ve talked a little bit about how at least one ~negative aspect~ of white supremacy/racism that impacts white people is that it can be SO DIFFICULT to avoid being Accidentally Racist over something that really shouldn’t have been that deep, and WOULDN’T have been that deep if not for the pervasiveness of white supremacy in america, and this bit about the lil country band Lady Antebellum and the controversy surrounding their name illustrates that pretty well, I think:

The band members have always said that the band's name was chosen arbitrarily, complaining about the difficulty of choosing a name. Inspired by the "country" style nostalgia of a photo shoot at a mansion from the Antebellum South, they said, "one of us said the word and we all kind of stopped and said, man, that could be a name"[40] and "Man that's a beautiful Antebellum house, and that's cool, maybe there's a haunted ghost or something in there like Lady Antebellum."[41] Haywood concluded, "[We] had a lady in the group, obviously, and threw Lady in the front of it for no reason. I wish we had a great resounding story to remember for the name, but it stuck ever since."[40] The name was always controversial, with a critic in Ms. Magazine writing in 2011 that the band's name "seems to me an example of the way we still — nearly 150 years after the end of the Civil War, nearly 50 years after the Civil Rights Act; and in a supposedly post-racial country led by a biracial president — glorify a culture that was based on the violent oppression of people of color".[41][42]

On June 11, 2020, joining widespread commercial response to the George Floyd protests,[41] the band announced it would abbreviate its name to its existing nickname "Lady A"[43] in an attempt to blunt the name's racist connotations.[1] The band members stated on social media that, never having previously sought the dictionary definition of the word "antebellum", they now consulted their "closest black friends and colleagues" so that their "eyes opened wide to the injustices, inequality and biases black women and men have always faced and continue to face every day. Now, blind spots we didn't even know existed have been revealed."[44] Fan response was mixed, with many decrying virtue signaling or even disparaging the protests.[41]American Songwriter said, "Given that the world knows what that A stands for, to many this change does little more than add extra insult to this ongoing injury."[45]

The next day, it was widely reported that the name "Lady A" had already been in use for more than 20 years by Seattle-based African American activist and blues, soul, funk, and gospel singer Anita White. The band again admitted ignorance of any prior use, which White called "pure privilege". Interviewed by Rolling Stone, White described the band's token acknowledgement of racism while blithely appropriating an African American artist's name: "They're using the name because of a Black Lives Matter incident that, for them, is just a moment in time. If it mattered, it would have mattered to them before. It shouldn't have taken George Floyd to die for them to realize that their name had a slave reference to it. It's an opportunity for them to pretend they're not racist". A veteran music industry lawyer observed that such name clashes are uncommon due to the existence of the Internet.[46][47] The band members contacted White the next week to apologize for having inadvertently co-opted and dominated her name,[48] saying that the Black Lives Matter movement had inspired them to a collaborative attitude. They nonetheless required retaining the same name, though she believed dual-naming is inherently impossible.[49]She said "We talked about attempting to co-exist but didn't discuss what that would look like"[48] because the band members would not directly respond to that explicit question three times during the conversation or in two contract drafts. She soon submitted a counteroffer that either the band would be renamed, or that her act would be renamed for a $5 million fee plus a $5 million donation to be split between Seattle charities, a nationwide legal defense fund for independent artists, and Black Lives Matter.[49]

On July 8, 2020, the band filed a lawsuit against White, asking a Nashville court to affirm its longstanding trademark of the name. The press release read: "Today we are sad to share that our sincere hope to join together with Anita White in unity and common purpose has ended. She and her team have demanded a $10 million payment, so reluctantly we have come to the conclusion that we need to ask a court to affirm our right to continue to use the name Lady A, a trademark we have held for many years."[50]

On September 15, 2020, White filed a counter-suit asserting her claim to the Lady A trademark and rejecting the notion that both artists could operate in the same industry under the same brand identity. She is seeking damages for lost sales and a weakened brand, along with royalties from any income the band receives under the Lady A moniker.[51][52]

Like????????? this REALLY didn’t need to be a thing.

And one thing I think black folks and other poc need to chill out with is dismissing any white person’s attempt at Being Better in how they move through a white supremacist world in a way that seeks to undo or at least not exacerbate white supremacy. I can TOTALLY believe that, in their white ignorant bliss, this band really did choose their name without realizing for a moment that it might leave a fucked up taste in some people’s mouths. Honestly like... antebellum IS a cool sounding word lmfao and if it wasn’t so heavily associated with slavery-era america, i’d wanna name something antebellum, too!

And like, yes, it’s true that it ~shouldn’t have taken george floyd’s death~ for anyone at all to suddenly decide that they want to go a little bit out of their way to denounce or at least not seem to promote racism in some small way. But it did. And it does. And every fucking time there’s a gross act of violence and injustice acted out on a person of color in front of the world, there’s always going to be a brand new white person out there who Sees The Light for the very first time. That doesn’t mean their new perspective isn’t genuine, and it doesn’t mean it happened All Of A Sudden. If anything, it was something they’d been thinking about for a long time, but didn’t know how to address it, or what to say, or who to say it to, or how to talk about it in their own community. OBVIOUSLY that problem is WAY LESS BAD than, ya know, actually experiencing racism, but it’s still a real thing that some white folks go through, and being mad about it isn’t going to make it NOT a real thing. it shouldn’t have taken george floyd’s death. it shouldn’t have taken trayvon martin’s death. it shouldn’t have taken the instatement of one of the most vile human beings to ever assault the face of the earth for This Person or That Person to finally want to make a positive and public change, BUT IT DID. It always does. That, unfortunately, is How It Works.

And so, this band adjusts it’s name in an effort to not seem hostile. OBVIOUSLY it’s not a grand show of solidarity. OBVIOUSLY it’s not meant to convince anyone that they’re Super Amazing White People Who Will Stop At Nothing For Racial Equality. It was literally just a small, simple gesture. They’re just modifying their image, because they were no longer comfortable with knowing how that word makes a lot of people feel. Bc like... let’s be real: probably a solid ZERO of their fanbase would have given a shit if they’d just left the name as it was. Nobody who’s going to a Lady Antebellum concert was pouting about the name. And if anything, they prolly stood a better chance of LOSING fans for ~being politically correct~ than gaining fans for changing their name to something less annoying.

And it JUST SO HAPPENS that the slight lil adjustment they made to their name steps on the toes of an existing artist, and it JUST SO HAPPENS that this artist is black, and is also an ACTIVIST in social and racial justice.

Oops.

And so, obviously people don’t interpret it as an honest mistake. Instead, it’s a result of white privilege. And I mean like??? ok, maybe it is. But I ALSO had never heard of Anita White until I read this fucking wiki page lmfao. So like... my ignorance isn’t due to no white privilege on my part. Maybe it’s a consequence of a white supremacist culture that wouldn’t glorify her and celebrate her and put her name everywhere... but that’s a different thing from privilege.

So now not only are the bands efforts to adjust to a world that’s becoming more aware of racial injustice being dismissed as disingenuous or too-little-too-late, but now they’re ALSO being accused of Using Their White Privilege to trample all over an artist they’d never heard of.

i DO think that after finding out the name was already taken, and after talking with her about it and determining that she wasn’t interested in sharing - as is her right - they should have just said “ok, sorry, thanks for talking with us about it” and picked something different. i think it’s kinda ridiculous that they think they should sue her and i think she’s HELLA right for suing their asses right back, and I hope she gets her damn money.

But I’m also cognizant of how emotionally/psychologically upsetting it can feel to have to just Change Your Name after so many years of living with it. It makes sense that despite their desire to adapt and choose a new name that doesn’t make people cringe, they still want to try to hold on to the feeling that THEY associated with their own name. “Lady A” seemed like a happy medium: They can remain Who They Are while also showing that Who They Are is someone who’s not trying to glorify a disgusting era of history. But if “Lady A” isn’t an option... what’s left? What else could they call themselves that wouldn’t feel like a totally new, alien identity??

So, I understand how, on an emotional level, they want to fight to keep it.

But uh. They really need to just Be Sad about it and let it go. Just consider it one of the small, upsetting sacrifices that white folks may sometimes have to make as we ALL struggle and stumble through this fuckin long-ass road of Making The World Less Terrible For People Of Color, and move on.

But yeah, like.

It’s fucking ridiculous that this was even an issue, and it was only an issue because of racism!!!!! If white supremacists didn’t manufacture a culture that oppresses people of color and glorifies the pre-civil-war era SPECIFICALLY for the good ol slavery, then perhaps people could wax poetic about the artistic and environmental aesthetic of that era without it being assumed that they Must Be Racist. Bc like??? idk if yall know this lmfao but i LOVE????? colonial american music. like, the kind of stuff with that Ashokan Farewell vibe. I think it sounds beautiful. And i really fuckin love the black spiritual music that was developed in that time. and i think so much of the architecture and fashion was so???? Nice. Just pleasant! But I can’t even get myself to fully enjoy it because of all the fuckin connotations that have been stuck to it.

A band should be able to name theirself a name without it being such a goddamn fucking cultural crisis.

But they can’t! And it is!

Thanks, White Supremacy!

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lakkimi · 3 years

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[TRANS] K-Pop Pia Vol.10 (2020) “2019 FNC KINGDOM -WINTER FOREST CAMP” part 2/2 - interview with Jaejin

"You have to work super hard!", something that has become his motivation

Lee Jaejin will follow Lee Hongki, FTISLAND’s vocalist, to enlist on January 21. In FTISLAND, he is in charge of the bass, subvocals, and recently, composing too. (t/n: I don’t know what they meant with “recently”, Jaejin started writing for FTISLAND with I Believe Myself and that was back in 2009. He started composing for FTISLAND with Yume, and that was in 2011.) has finally released his own songs, 3 months before he makes his enlistment, through his first solo mini album, Scene.27.

Jaejin presented us with a world unique to him, a world of music that is different than that of FTISLAND’s. Using Jazz as the basis, his songs are filled with warmth and softness, the way that he as person is.

There were barely any chances for us to visit him for an interview during his tour to commemorate the release of his album, but we were finally able to visit his waiting room in Nagoya concert hall for his solo mini live and listen to his story. Starting with the release of his album, Scene.27 and following up with his solo live, we made an approach to Lee Jaejin’s artistry.

In KINGDOM, he still holds on to his belief that FT is still the best.

――This issue will be an FNC FAMILY exclusive, so we would like to talk about KINGDOM first. As one of the performers, is there anything that you look forward to?

First of all, I am looking forward to meet the FNC family after a long time. We don’t really have that many chances to meet like this. And when we do get to perform together, I could only think of “as expected, we are still the best!” (laughs) Hongki hyung always said, “I don’t wanna do KINGDOM”, but when we started to perform, his gaze would change. For us, we also look forward to perform together with CNBLUE, our good rivals. However, they still can’t beat us of course, at least for us, huhuhu, sorry CN (laughs)

――Ho! As expected of FNC’s first artists! What about the collaboration stages?

I like that we get to have many collaborations and perform together. I like stages where I can show my colors properly, and the experience of performing with members of the other teams is precious, that I think it would be nice to have more of this. This time, FTISLAND will have less power as Hongki isn’t here, but our juniors that sing well (N.Flying’s Seunghyub, Hweseung) have come to help, and N.Flying have also come to help to be my back band for my solo stages. I am looking forward to that. I am busy thanks to FTISLAND and my solo. (smiles).

As a soloist, it is the most important to be able to show how much I enjoy music

――Please tell us more about your solo album and tour. You have just finished your Tokyo concert. You previously said that “the completion of an album is its concert”, but in reality, how was it to be able to sing live in front of fans?

I was nervous (laughs). At first, after completing FTISLAND’s FIVE TREASURES TOUR with its encore concert “ARIGATO”, I wanted to take and dedicate some time to prepare and perfect the (solo) concert. However, suddenly I had to take over the I Loved You musical from Hongki hyung, so I had to manage doing the musical (in Korea) at the same time as my mini live in Japan. I still had preparations for the mini live, and there were things that didn’t go as well as I wished, but I was happy that I was able to perform at the musical. I worked hard on the preparations on my own, but when I did my first solo live in Tokyo, there were staffs and fans who put in so much efforts to help me, I thought one again, “ahh I have this many fans..”, “I can’t just let it be like this!”, “I have to crazily work hard for this!”, I was incredibly motivated. “Let’s do this!”, and that’s how I have become so much ambitious now. (laughs)

――I’m looking forward to it (smiles). You seemed really nervous during your first live in Tokyo?

On the first day, there were so many things that were unexpected to me. I have always performed as a band, but this time, I am performing a solo. That’s why, there are so many things that I didn’t know about. Not only that I had to change my singing techniques, but also how to center the sound that came through the in-ear monitors, a lot of details that had to be done differently. That’s why, no matter how many times that you did rehearsals, when the actual audience came in, unexpected things still bound to happen. So whenever I felt that I did a mistake, I would feel really nervous because of that. Especially, in the first concert, when I started singing, my voice came out too loud that I was surprised myself. And that’s why I became really nervous suddenly (laughs). I knew clearly that if I feel troubled by it from early on, it will just follow me around to the end, but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I just wanted it to be the best.

――I could feel that by the night performance, you were already more relaxed.

Yes. I have been around for 12 years, I have an excellent adaptability (laughs). From now on too, I hope that I would be better and better in every concert.

――Jaejin is a bassist, but during your solo live, you only touched your bass once, during the Polar Star performance. How did it feel to perform without bringing along your bass?

As expected, I feel safer if I bring my bass~ (laughs). I have been doing live performances for 10-ish years which made me develop singing while playing my bass pose, so now that I have to sing without bringing along my bass, something just felt wrong to me. Even more, I was already too used to being in the position to support Hongki hyung, so it felt unfamiliar and strange that I was in the position to lead the band and everyone. As FT’s bassist, I have developed the mindset to play and have fun on my own, but now, not only that I have to be the main vocal, it had just been brought into my attention that it is important that I develop a good rapport with the audience as well. I wanted to apply this right away to my next live performances, but now that I have to enlist first, I guess it would have to wait (laughs).

Now that I have tried out being the main vocal, I could see the efforts that Hongki hyung put in.

――What kind of image that you want to show as a soloist?

I am still a rookie soloist, so I think that my top priority for now is to show what is it that I’m doing properly. That’s why, nowadays, I’m learning how solo artists engage the audience in the fun. I’ve been watching foreign R&B solo artists’ live these days. What I learned from there, is that they all instead of actively telling the audience “what”, they actually put importance on thoroughly enjoying the show themselves. I think they were so mature and cool, I want to do it like them too. Indeed, it’s also something that differentiate it with a band too. In a band, it is important to be able to harmonize, but as a soloist, you only need to 100% focus on yourself, I feel that it is important that you can show how much you enjoy the stage yourself.

――After trying out being a main vocal singing by yourself on stage, is there anything that you have come to realize in regards to Hongki as FTISLAND’s main vocal?

I have come to realize... a lot of things. In regards to doing recording for example, as I already said before, all this time, my responsibility has always been to support. But using the same singing methods as a main vocal, it actually turned out too weak, it just didn’t turn out well. In FTISLAND, Hongki and I not only have different vocal style, but we also hold different roles. I have been doing music for 12-ish years, but as expected, it is hard to be the main vocal.

――Then, how did you overcome it, being a main vocal?

I’m doing something that I really have never done, so I shared my worries with Hongki hyung who has a whole lot more experience on this, and I tried out a lot of different things too with him. However, he then had to go enlist (laughs) However, now that I have given this a try, I got a little more sense of responsibility. The responsibility not only to support, but also to lead. Once more, I feel how Hongki hyung is amazing.

――As expected, Hongki! like that (laughs)

That’s right (laughs). We also did musical practices together, and I asked him a lot of things like what has he been doing all this time (for the musical). I have come to know things like, “Ah Hongki hyung was doing something like this at that time..” or “Ah Hongki hyung has been working hard on this” that made my respect for him grew. I couldn’t help but to wish Hongki hyung for more strength as there were things that actually were too bothersome (laughs) but Hongki hyung put so much efforts into them - and he knows it himself too, that’s why he has such a great confidence in his singing.

――Ah, I also felt the same about Hongki when he became the vocal trainer in Produce 48.

Right? For Hongki hyung, 3/4 (of his talent) is something that he got naturally (laughs) but the other 1/4 is hard work that I didn’t know he put in until now.

――How would you like to advance as Jaejin, a vocalist?

I feel that being a vocalist is a new thing to me. I feel like I am starting over as a rookie. I am happy that I also get to do a musical during this rookie phase. I learned a lot from these people who are vocal experts. I also found out a lot of things that I want to fix, it turned out to be such a great experience. It also gave me a lot of motivation to advance myself.

――You are doing your musical while also doing your tour simultaneously, but I feel that your throat is doing just well.

No, it’s not well at all.

――I didn’t know.

Is that so? That’s a relief then.

Through FTISLAND and solo, I want to try out different characters.

――To sing the songs from your album live, are there any changes that you made from the original version?

I made some changes to Love Like The Films and Oasis. I sang Love Like The Films more softly when I did the recording, but for my live, if I sing it the same way, the sound of the band will overpower my voice. That’s why I sang it more strongly in the live. For Oasis, because it’s a cool sounding song, I thought that it would be better to arrange it more cleanly and tightly for the live performance, that’s why I made a bit of changes to the sound. I think it is just right to have the recording and the live versions sound differently.

――You also did the arrangement for FTISLAND’s live too, but for your solo live, what kind of arrangement that you had in mind?

If want my concert this time to have the mood of the album Scene.27. I said, let’s make it Jazz and ballad sounding.

――Among them, there is FT.Triple’s Love Letter, it made think of the old times.

That’s right. I also sang it after a long time. Fans were like “Oh! Love Letter?!” (laughs).

――Why did you select this song to be included in your first solo live?

It’s also one of the challenges that I took upon. I can’t do FT.Triple anymore now in FTISLAND, but it’s one song that is most well known with my voice as the main one, so I thought that it is a good opportunity to bring it back.

――You also did Polar Star, the song that Hongki said “I’m not gonna do it”.

Everyone likes it, right? I like it too, as it is a song that gives you the feeling of hope. As Hongki hyung already said no to performing it, I’m doing it instead (laughs).

――How was it, singing an FTISLAND song as your own?

I only played my bass for the Polar Star stage, and the fact that I sang it while playing the bass gave me the FTISLAND song feeling. It felt like I sang to support Hongki hyung, so it was like the feeling of meeting someone after a long time. I am working hard for my solo, but as expected, I want to be able to perform as FTISLAND again as soon as possible. Doesn’t everyone feel the same way?

――That’s right, that’s right. As I watched your Polar Star stage, I felt that, indeed, Jaejin is the best when playing bass.

Well, it can’t be helped. It’s something that I have been doing in the past 10 years (laughs).

――As we all miss the you that is playing bass, what about making a song that you can sing while playing bass?

No no no. The way that is used to catch the rhythm for bass and for vocals is different, so it is hard to play bass while singing the melody. That’s why I chose to not play bass during my solo live this time around. Adding to that, as Scene.27 has Jazz and R&B underlying to it, even just playing the bass is already hard, so to do both, for me it would be impossible~ (laughs) Indeed, I’m presenting different characters as FTISLAND and as a soloist.

When we tune in to each other in FTISLAND, I am just too focused that I can’t remember anything else.

I am working hard as a soloist, but indeed, I want to perform as FT again as soon as possible!

――As you embarked on your live tour, was it able to make you look back on the Scene.27 album?

I still don’t have a clear map on this, but I am starting to have a bit of direction that I want for my next album. For my next one, I have a certain music style that I want to try, as lately I have been listening to it.

――What direction is it to be exact?

It would still be Western style music like Scene.27 but with simpler melody and I will add more repetitive parts to it. I won’t pay attention much to the lyrics, the songs will be easy for everyone to sing along, something like songs that you can party with. But it’s not a concrete plan yet, for now, I am still gathering ideas. It’s because, in 2 years (note: after he finishes his military enlistment), I will prioritize FTISLAND first. And so, doing solo could be in plan in about 3 years from now. By then, my musical interests might have changed too. I have a lot that I want to do (laughs).

――Was it a new experience to be able to work with a band of Japanese musicians for your solo tour?

Yes. As expected, they have different styles in many ways compared to when I am in FT. In FTISLAND, as a bassist, I have a lot of challenges that I took on, there were a lot of cases where I went, “How should I do it?” that it gave me headache. In the band here, everyone is pro, and I am free to do anything. “Ah this is the feeling of being the main vocal (laughs). I only need to memorize the lyrics and sing. I don’t even have to do tuning, I don’t have to change my instruments too. I’m liking so much the freedom that I have.

――In 2019, you were not only lead a band as a soloist, you were also able to participate in N.Flying’s tour. Through this experience, were you able to see the good points of being in FTISLAND once again?

That’s right. I might be just boasting, but I did feel, “As expected, FTISLAND has an amazing vocalist!”. Of course, please don’t take it that I’m saying that N.Flying is bad, but I feel that Hongki hyung is just that even more amazing. Also, (in FTISLAND) as we have spent so much time together, I feel that our bass and drum is much tuned to each other. I enjoyed playing bass with N.Flying’s Jaehyun, however, I feel that I can match with Minhwannie’s drum playing energy much better that I always enjoyed it so much. I think, even if I play with other bands, I would feel the same way. In N.Flying, I’m in charge of keeping the rhythms, but in FTISLAND, I feel that we all are in charge of it together. When we tune to each other in FT, I would become too focused that I don’t remember anything else. Really, (laughs) I wouldn’t even know what I did wrong or what I do, to that extent. However, I think I can only say this (about FT) as we have been around for more than 10 years (smiles).

――I think, it’s more that you would feel a lot of things as you work together for a long time.

As Hweseung entered the band, I feel that there seems to be more balance in their vocal department. The fact that they have a twin vocalists, where hweseung can take on the parts that require long and high notes, while Seunghyub can take on raps with his low and deep voice, I think it has become their strength. They have nice vocal and music style, they also have grabbed their balance. They also have a bit of this Western music style to them, as well as band style, it feels like they have a little bit of FTISLAND and CNBLUE. It feels like they are able to absorb a lot of different things. They also have good songs and live performances. The harder they work, they more time passes by, I feel like they would be able to be an excellent band. They are a band that I am looking forward to see how they would advance in the future. That’s why, I hope you will be able to support them while FT and CN are away. You can like them, but don’t forget that FTISLAND is still the number 1!

t/n: Translated by Lu, 100% accuracy is not guaranteed. Translation is based on Japanese-Korean translation thanks to fprit. :)

#ftisland #f.t.island #lee jaejin #jaejin #scene 27 #interview #trans #fnc

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something-thats-not-taken-yet · 4 years

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It was early in the morning and Lapis and Steven were up watching the sun rise. Steven had woken up earlier due to a nightmare and was feeling down. He had yet to talk to Lapis verbally, responding to her questions with nods and head shaking. Seeing Steven, this happy boy, down made her feel sad.

"It's not your fault I'm not fine," he said in a hushed voice, "I know you feel that way. I can tell. It's everything that's happened. I think it's catching up to me now; the conversation with Pearl, the situation with Connie, Garnet..., mom. It's just... a lot. The nightmare was about her, at first it was happy, but it got dark quickly. I just reminded myself that all I'm here for is to fix her problems..."

Soft tears fell from the boy's face. Lapis used her powers to make them into a small heart.

"Steven, that's not what you're here for. Even if that's why she made you, it's not what you live for. You are a wonderful person, Steven, I hope you know that. You are loved so much, if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here for you. I'm not one to tell you how you should feel, but you're probably lost and confused and... sad. I'm not much of and empath, but I can tell that this is making you upset. Please just, remember to talk to someone. A gem could crack under the pressure you're in, so don't let bottled up feelings get to you."

Steven hugged Lapis. He hugged her tightly. She was surprised at first, but the warmth of the hug pulled her in, compelling her to hug back. It took a moment for her to even realize that Steven was crying onto her light-based dress.

"Thank you, Lapis," he whispered softly.

After the sunrise, the day began. Steven knew that the town needed some help, so he offered what help he could give them. He would lift furniture and repair broken glass windows. He helped restaurants restock and even helped in the kitchen some. Lapis also contributed by helping fix damaged water lines and bringing water to those who had damaged pipes. While doing this, they also continued to clean up broken pieces of the ship that were on the boardwalk. Steven and Lapis collaborated on making smallish shelters for those whose homes had been damaged.

In this time, the people of Beach City learned more about gems. Their powers, their culture, their history. Steven also learned something special; Diamonds have unique and strong powers, many more powers than regular gems. He did recall feeling somewhat more powerful when he 'went pink', so he assumed that that was linked to it. Later that night, he decided to ask Lapis about it.

"Hey Lapis, earlier you said something about Diamonds having special powers... do you think I have those kinds of powers, too?"

"Well, you seem to have powers that a normal gem would, so I'm guessing that you probably have Diamond powers as well. You wanna test it out tomorrow?"

Steven nodded, half asleep. He ended up falling asleep curled in Lapis' lap.

They spent the first half of the morning digging a hole behind the barn and filling it with water for Lapis. Then, the training began.

"Alright, your powers are tied to your emotions, so I'm gonna try to make you turn pink, because that seems to be something new. What happens when you turn pink? How do you usually feel?"

"Upset? Like, when I had to lie to Connie. I don't think it's necessarily sadness, just... upsetness."

"Well, let's try to copy that and see if any other emotions can trigger it. Think of sad things first."

Steven thought long and hard about sad things, but it didn't do anything except for make him sad.

"Okay, so that didn't work, maybe try things that make you mad?"

Very few things made Steven mad, but he tried to concentrate on that emotion. One word popped into his head. Mom.

"That's it! Anger! Keep thinking about that and try to use your power!"

Steven was indeed glowing pink. So, as Lapis made a strong water barrier, he attempted to use a shield and instead made a hexagonal shape. He pushed it towards Lapis, and it broke through her water barrier, but not enough to get all the way through. They practiced this move over and over until Steven came scarily close to poofing Lapis, a time at which they decided a break would be good.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to almost poof you! I just-"

"It's okay Steven. We were training and I would have come back anyways. You did good."

"Thanks for this Lapis. I wonder if I have any other powers..."

"Well that move we were practicing today kind of reminded me of your shield, so maybe the powers are like, more advanced versions of your regular powers. Maybe you can fly or bring people back from the dead."

Your mom lied to everyone.

She just made you to clean up her mess.

"That would be cool! But I'm not about to kill people or look for dead people to find that last one out."

"Hmm, maybe we could try that flying one next."

"Sounds fun!"

After a pizza break, they went back to the barn.

Your mom lied to everyone.

She only made you to clean up her mess.

The Crystal Gems think you're weak.

They blame you.

You should be blamed.

You're an awful person.

You shouldn't have lied to Connie.

You shouldn't have told the Crystal gems.

Steven was glowing pink. He jumped up in the air, and hovered for a moment. Eventually, he floated back down.

"I can't fly..."

"Maybe something else dealing with mobility?"

Steven suddenly got an idea, "What about super speed? I've seen it in loads of comics."

"It's worth a try!"

Steven thought about running away from his problems, and suddenly, everything slowed down. He ran to the Big Donut, grabbed a jelly-filled donut (his favorite) and a chocolate donut (Lapis' favorite), then put money on the counter. Once he came back with donuts in hand, time sped up to its normal pace again.

"Lapis!" Steven smiled wide and ran to hug his friend, "I did it! Look! I even got us donuts!"

"Great job Steven! "

The two sat and shared donuts, Lapis continuously praising Steven for his hard work and progress.

"Do you think the gems will be impressed? I can be a real Crystal Gem now! I can finally protect them like I should! I can be useful now!"

Lapis looked confused for a moment.

"But Steven," she smiled and giggled in realization, "you are a Crystal Gem, and you are useful. You protect them from all sorts of stuff! I mean, you protected them from Jasper's ship, didn't you?"

"Yeah... But they still got destabilized and captured! I didn't save them from that... "

"You couldn't have, you didn't know what weapons she had or what she was going to do. You did a good job back there, you even saved me when I didn't ask for it. You're a good person Steven. Don't doubt that."

"Thanks Lapis. You always make me feel better."

sorry if this one was shorter!

I have a few ideas for this AU that I'd like to implement but I'm still working out the details.

Also I'm sorry if the links aren't taking you to the right places, if they aren't, just use the diamond jailbreak au tag to take you to a chronological page

|1| |2| |3| |4| |5|

#su au #su fanfic #fanfic #fan fiction #diamond jailbreak au

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concealeddarkness13 · 4 years

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A New Dawn Part 7

In which Kai meets Motor and the aliens try and screw with them. Tagging my collaborator @ratracechronicler!

Intro

Kai: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6

Rat: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6

Again, Rat slept later than both me and Eli. While I perched on the edge of my bed, already ready, Eli kept smiling at me whenever he passed me. I tried to smile back, but it just felt so odd. I probably just hadn’t smiled enough at other people recently for it to feel natural.

Rat groaned and rolled over, grabbing her beacon and looking at the screen. She frowned and sat up. “Eli, Motor is asking to meet us here instead of in Loch Legado.”

Eli frowned and walked up to her, putting an arm around her shoulders as he looked over her shoulder. He cocked his head. “Well, at least we don’t have to go so far. But why does he want to come all this way?”

Rat shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe he wants to show off a new motorcycle he got?”

“Where does he want to meet?”

“Five deep east from Fujimoto. Huh. Well it would make sense that he wouldn’t want to be around people. He might get too nervous.” They exchanged a glance, and Rat turned to me with a smile. “So, Motor is another good friend of ours. But he’s like the complete opposite of Spike. He’s a kid, and he’s hyper, and he’s excited. He’ll probably love to meet you.”

I nodded, and I tinkered on the machines I had found. I didn’t have all the parts I needed for the machine against the aliens, but I could still start putting what I had together. I knew what else I needed. It was just a matter of finding the machines and getting them.

Rat and Eli talked quietly while I worked on the machine, and I didn’t bother them. Should I even be getting close to them? They had been so kind to me, but the aliens had threatened to hurt them, and their whispers were still following me. But, was it fair to push Rat and Eli away?

I hadn’t come to a conclusion even after we left the hotel, and I then had to focus on not getting overwhelmed by Joanndu. I was getting better at that, but I still had to force my thoughts to focus.

It was less crowded in the place where we were supposed to meet Motor. Rat and Eli didn’t seem to recognize anyone, so he must not have been there yet. But Rat pointed out a fancy-looking motorcycle, and we walked over.

She eyed it. “Yep. That’s Motor’s all right. No one else would have such an awesome motorcycle.” They exchanged a grin, and Rat started looking around. “So, where is he?” She cupped her hands around her mouth. “Motor! Where’re you hiding?”

A head peaked out from behind one of the buildings, and Rat frowned. “What’re you doing over there? Don’t you wanna see us? We’ll all get some good food together, and it’ll be fun.” She walked toward him, and I followed her. What was wrong? Was he scared of me? Oh. Maybe I shouldn’t…

I gasped and froze when I felt my machine stop working, and all the hightlighted machines vanished from my sight.

Rat turned back to me with a frown, but I just stared at Motor. It wasn’t Rat who did it, so did Motor have the same kind of curse as her? Did he mean to?

He took a few shaky steps forward and looked straight at me. “D-did I d-do it?” I just stared at him, and he looked away and shook his head. “I-I’m s-so sorry! Th-these aliens…”

Rat didn’t even let him finish. She dashed forward, kneeled down, and put her hands on his shoulders. “Aliens? Did they hurt you? What happened?”

I glanced back at Eli when I realized he hadn’t gone up to Motor. He shuffled his feet and looked down at the ground. If Motor was able to disable my machine, could he have done the same with Eli? Oh.

“Th-they told me to h-haywire the stranger w-with you two. I-I’m so sorry.” I tensed and started looking around. Were they here? Were they watching us right now?

Rat spoke in the background while I focused. “Sh. Don’t worry about it. Anyone would be scared about creepy aliens coming and telling them to do something. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Right, Kai?”

I nodded and slipped my knives into my hands. Where the hell were they? Why didn’t they just come out and fight me head on? I was so tired already of seeing them at the edge of my vision, of hearing their whispers in my ears. I had to go looking for them.

Rat took a deep breath and stood up. “Okay. So, I’ve officially had it with these jellyfish bastards. We’re going to find them, and I’m going to repay them.”

I looked over at her and smiled. At least she understood. But before she could take two steps, Motor grabbed her arm. He was starting to shake again. “P-please d-don’t go looking for them. Th-they’ve got powers that we haven’t seen yet. I-I’m scared.”

Rat knelt back down with a frown. “Fine. Tell me what happened then. Maybe we can figure out what’s going on.”

Well, I could still look for the aliens. I took a deep breath and started walking toward one of the side streets. They had to be somewhere around here. But before I could get very far, Eli grabbed my arm. Why would he stop me? I turned on him, tensing and holding up one of my knives a little, but he didn’t flinch. He just shook his head. “Don’t go off on your own. Stay with us.”

I hissed and shook my head back at him. “They’re here. They’ve always been following me. It’s like I can hear them in my head. I have to stop them.” I gestured back at Rat, who was still comforting Motor. “They threatened one of your friends. Wouldn’t you want them gone? W…wouldn’t you want me gone because I’m the one they’re after? I’m the reason this is even happening!”

Eli stood up even straighter, and I had to crane my neck to even see his expression (which was a lot easier, by the way, since I didn’t have to look through all the machinery). There was a mixture of emotions in his eyes, mainly stubbornness and sadness. “You’re not going alone to fight them. I don’t care what you think. I don’t want to lose a friend.”

I stared at him and hunched even lower. How, how could he see me as a friend? I was the reason his real friend was getting hurt, and I was the reason they were in any danger. I had to stop this or get myself out of the picture before they truly got hurt.

He sighed when I didn’t respond, and he hugged me tightly. I tensed, but then I relaxed and closed my eyes. Why did I feel so safe? Especially with everything that was going on. “Please,” he whispered. “You don’t have to do any of this alone. We’re more than willing to help you out. Just let us.”

I nodded, and he moved back. I put my knives back up and turned to Rat and Motor. I had to at least try to communicate. I had to just remember that.

Rat and Motor turned to us, and she stood up, while Motor held her hand. “It sounds like your buds from your planet decided to pay Motor a visit, Kai. They wanted him to disable your machine, and they threatened him.”

I looked away from both of them. “I’m so sorry. I should leave if I’m going to endanger you and your friends.” Eli made a sound of annoyance, but I wanted to give them the option to get rid of me. I wouldn’t blame them.

Rat nodded. “Well said, Eli. I’m never going to let you do that. You’re my gangster now, so you have to deal with it. And I won’t let those creepy jellyfish take one of my gangsters. We’re going to need to be on high alert now, but,” she looked pointedly at me. “We’re not going to go seeking out the jellyfish. At least not yet.” She nudged Motor as she started walking. “Come on. I know a great place we can go to get a great meal.”

When he passed by me, he wouldn’t look me in the eyes, but he did stop. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

I brushed it off and tried to smile. “You didn’t hurt me, so it’s no big deal.” What was really concerning was that the aliens knew enough about Rat and Eli to target their friends. And it was all because of me. Was there a way to make it up to them?

As we walked to the food place, Eli stayed walking beside me, and he tried to hide it, but he kept watching me. He was probably worried I would try to run off and fight the aliens. I wished I could run after them, but Rat was right. There was no point in going after them yet. Anyway, I had no idea where they were.

“We know all about your friends now, Kaira. They will get hurt if you continue with them.” I whipped around, and Eli watched me with a frown, but there was still no one there. How were they so fast? And why didn’t they show their stupid faces? All their sneaking in the shadows was the worst. It would be so much easier if I could just fight them out in the open.

Eli put a hand on my shoulder. “Kai? Are you okay?”

I nodded. I’d tell them eventually, but there was no need to worry them now. “I’m just hearing things.”

He kept watching me with a frown as we continued walking, but I didn’t try to explain myself. I shouldn’t drag them into this mess. They wouldn’t want to deal with this anyway.

Motor still looked shaken up about his encounter with the aliens when we got to the restaurant, so once we ordered and sat down, Rat spoke. “So, what’s been going on with you, Motor?”

He grinned, his entire expression changing. Wow. That was fast. “I have a baby sister! Her name is Mauve, and she’s awesome! And the community is actually accepting her even though she’s faulty!”

Rat grinned. “That’s awesome! I’m glad they’re not being stupid.”

They chatted some more about an extermination that they all seemed to know about, but when there was a lull in the conversation, I spoke up. I wanted to try to be friendly with him. He was just a kid, and I needed to make up for being the reason the aliens terrified him. “Was that your motorcycle we saw before we found you? It was really cool. How did you get it?”

His eyes shone as he turned to me with a grin. “It’s a 311 beta-frame evap recyc manuman Meilin Sagitta! Built fresh, small enough for a kid like me, great fuel economy reusing the evaporated liquid lightning instead of releasing it, and manual maneuvering means I get to drive it instead of some robot doing it for me. They’re suuuuper expensive! This one’s limited edition. Let’s just say I did a favor for a high-profile fuzz who pulled some gears to get me this for free.”

He wasn’t a bad kid, even if I didn’t understand half of what he was saying. “Do you think I could study it? I’m interested in machines, so it would be cool to learn more about your motorcycle.”

He grinned. “Of course!” He actually stood up, took my hand, and pulled me out of the restaurant, back to where his motorcycle was parked. I smiled a little and started pulling out the machines inside it without disconnecting anything as he chatted about how it worked.

#writeblr #a new dawn

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correctmianitequotes · 5 years

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(A/N good god this one’s a long one. Sorry not really sorry? lemme know if they’re too long, too short, or just right. as always, feedback is always SUPER appreciated, and if you have any ideas for where the series should go, please please please tell me!)

DAY 2: TUCKER

It’s been about two days on the island. I’m just now getting hungry. I guess now that I’m not constantly sprinting around with heavy armor on all the time I use less energy. Who’da guessed.

So around midnight last night, while we were collecting seeds and trying to avoiding mobs, Tom said he had something important to discuss.

“I just want to say I’m calling trial right now. I’m calling trial because just now- Sonja came up to me- and punched me.” Jordan gasped while Tom nodded. Sonja sputtered indignantly.

“I-no I- I didn’t-” Her words were drowned out by Tom’s cool tone.

“Don’t worry, we’re going to have a fair trial here. Tucker, what do you think?”

“I vote she’s dead,” I declared.

“I vote she’s off the island as well!” Tom concurred. “Drown yourself! Drown yourself, woman!”

“Oh… okay… goodbye everyone.” Sonja waded into the now cold water and pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. She had taken off her shoes in the day and was walking around barefoot. Why? No clue. My girlfriend’s weird.

Jordan, who had been quiet this whole time, diverted the conversation. “Alright, I’m tired of the mobs spawning. I’m lighting things up.”

“Yes, please,” I said. “Like a diamond, Jordan. Like a diamond in the sky.”

“Shine bright like a diamond~,” he sang, placing torches on the ground as he walked.

“Oh wait, there are two zombie villagers over here!” Tom announced. “We should keep them and turn them back into villagers!”

“Oo! Yeah, let’s lure them into a trap, I got this,” I responded, digging a 2x2 hole in the ground. Jordan made noises of uneasiness. I walked up to one of the zombie villagers and punched it twice. It started coming after me. Even walking, I outpaced it easily. My teammates were trying to trap the other one. I led my zombie over to the pit. “Come ‘ere, baby.” Unfortunately, the zombie was too smart for its own good and kept going in circles around my pit.

“We got em! We got him in the pit!” Tom exclaimed. “Right, what should we name him?”

“Larry!”

“Terry Crews!”

“Oh, I guess Terry works,” Jordan conceded. “Still got that -erry theme going for it.”

“Dude, I need some help, this dude does not want to go in. Can someone please come and, like, punch him in here?” I asked.

“We already made a pit,” Tom said. “Come over here.” I followed him, and the zombie followed me. I walked around to the other side to tempt it to come and get me while Tom came up behind it to push it in.

“Come’ere buddy,” I said. I gave Tom the signal. Tom ended up shoving it WAY TOO HARD and sent it flying RIGHT INTO ME.

“OW TOM WHAT THE SH- I JUST TOOK TWO DAMAGE!” I roared, reeling back.

“Sorry mate, I guess I’m just too strong,” Tom apologized, flexing his muscles. Jordan laughed and took a swing at the zombie. It started coming back towards me. I felt the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I gave it a light tap towards the pit.

“Dude, just hit him in there! Haymaker ‘im! Haymaker ‘im!” Tom cheered. I backed away.

“I don’t wanna kill it!”

“Tucker, it has so much health compared to your measly fist!” Jordan prompted me. Now Tom laughed.

“My measly fist is so strong, though,” I said, looking to my girlfriend. “Right, Sonj?” Sonja just grinned at me. She was watching from the sidelines, letting the boys do the hard work.

Tom and Jordan teamed up and punched him back over to me. I was up against a ledge in the sand, and got hit again. And again. I was taking some real damage. I screeched in fear, scrambling away towards the torches.

“Alright, I’m out, I’m not doing this, you guys suck, this was not worth it at all,” I ranted. Right as I said that, Tom and Jordan managed to hit it into the pit. I never realized how well they worked together until our final purge, when they teamed up briefly and absolutely wrecked everyone else. When they actually put their minds together to collaborate, they’re pretty unbeatable.

I went back to the sand hut to heal. I had gotten hit pretty bad. I watched the entrance as Tom confronted two spiders and a zombie at once. He had gotten hold of an iron sword (probably from Jordan) and started beating the zombie back. This zombie had somehow gotten chain armor, which is weird because this island looks like it’s never had humans on it, ever. Instead of hitting the zombie and getting a nice thwack, all Tom got was a dull clink as his sword came in contact with the armor. Sonja came over to help with her stone sword.

“Sonja, get out of the way,” I heard Tom mutter to her, concentrating on landing the blows just right. In the two and a half days we’ve been on the island, Sonja has already wandered into possible harm’s way twice now. The first time was when she was checking out the mine and kept walking in front of Jordan while he was trying to swing his pickaxe.

“Sonja, get out of the way!” he reproached, nearly goring her with his stone pick.

“Sorry!” she replied. “I’m just so curious!”

“Well come be curious over here,” I said to her. She’s not very good at being aware of her surroundings. While Tom can never stay on task, she gets tunnel vision and ignores everything around her. Jordan’s good at both. It’s unconscious for him, I think. He’s been through so many worlds that checking over his shoulder is natural for him. If anyone of us makes it to the end (which we all probably will, ‘cept for Sonja. Sorry Sonj.), I think it’ll be him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Anyways, back to the zombie fight. Sonja took out the spiders while Tom hit the zombie again and again. Finally, it dissipated in a puff of smoke, along with the armor. Damn.

“I’m getting pretty hungry. Tucker, do you still have those apples?” she asked me. I clicked my tongue and shook my head. “Nah, I had to eat them. I’m still about half way away from being all healed up, and I need food too, so.”

As the sun rose, so did our need for food. I could hear Sonja’s stomach growling. I wasn’t super hungry, but in order to properly heal I would need at least another apple or something.

It was actually Tom who came up with a solution. “Alright, this is now Team Fishing, bitches,” he announced. “Who’s fisharooing with me?”

“I’ll fish,” I offered. “Let’s go on a fishing trip. It’ll be fun.” I stepped over to the water and sat down on the sand, preparing to cast.

Sonja’s voice distracted me. “Alright, these two chickens have banged and now there’s another one, should I kill one for food?” I frowned and put down my rod.

“Don’t kill the chicken,” I told her, making my way over to her.

“Well, no, I made them bang, see, and-”

Out of nowhere, I heard screaming behind me. I whipped around and saw Tom clutching himself, staring at a tree that had apparently just grown. Jordan, who had been right near him, was laughing.

“Wait, what just happened?” I asked.

Jordan laughed some more, putting his hand on Tom’s shoulder. “Dude, are you okay?”

“YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” Tom yelled. He didn’t seem to be injured, from what I could tell. “I AM AGAINST TREE GROWTH!” He started marching around, pulling up all those saplings I had planted.

“What just- what was that?” I asked again. I’m still not really sure, but from what I understand-

Wait. One second.

Okay, so Tom has requested that he gets to write the part where he nearly died on day 2. I’m handing the pen over to Tom.

Okay, so I was just walking around the island, when suddenly, I stepped over a sapling, and it just- f-ckin- grew on me! The tree was just like, “nope”. And it hurt alot, too! I have splinters everywhere, I’m going to be picking wood out of my toes and torso for days. Anyways, I am now #antitreegrowth and will now chop down any sapling that I see. And that is the story of I nearly died to a f-ckin tree. F-ckin Groot. Alright, peace, homies!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Okay, so I just got the paper back, and I see that Tom doesn’t know how to spell “a lot”, so nice going Tom.

Anyways, once Tom’s near death experience was over, we got back on track with fishing. I cast my rod into the water and sat down on the beach again.

“Any extra fishing rods I could borrow? I can help with fishing, too,” Jordans commented.

“Right, because we need food,” said Tom helpfully. (See what I mean about not staying on task?) He and Sonja were talking about breeding when I felt a tug on my rod. I jumped up excitedly and pulled. I reeled in my spoils.

“GUYS, I CAUGHT A FEESH! A one pound feesh!” I exclaimed. I immediately went to put it in the furnace. It was a decently sized fish. Definitely not enough to feed a crowd of 10,ooo people or whatever Jesus did, but definitely enough to stop hunger pangs.

“Aw nice!” Tom said. He gave me a thumbs up as he chopped down a tree with personal intensity. “Can I please have it?”

I thought for a moment. ‘Of course not, I caught the damn thing.” If I didn’t heal up these zombie wounds soon, they would get infected and I would end up looking like Tom (I would still be better looking than Tom, of course, but I like having non-green skin and not having to cover most of my body to avoid catching on fire when I stand out in the sun too long). Then I thought about how Tom did kind of save my ass from zombies earlier, and almost died to a tree, and how it’s always a good thing to reward Tom for remembering his “pleases” and “thank yous”.

“I’m putting it in the furnace for you,” I told him, sliding the fish in there. I’d eat the next one that I caught.

“Really? Aw, thanks, man.” Tom sounded sort of surprised. I went back over to the ocean, where I saw Jordan standing with a fishing rod that he had borrowed from Tom. I plopped down next to him.

Jordan sighed. “This is gonna take so long,”

“Wanna crack open a beer?” I joked. Sidenote about me, I actually like fishing. It’s relaxing, and there’s a bonus in the fact that you get to eat something once you’re done. Just as I said that, I noticed Jordan’s sinker disappear.

“I got something”

“Reel it in, reel it in!”

When Jordan pulled his line in, however, he did not get a delicious fish. He got an enchanted fishing rod! Lucky bastard.

“Tom, here’s a return on your investment. One fishing rod,” Jordan said, proudly presenting his rod to Tom.

Tom took it and checked it out. “Wait, now all three of us can fish!” He jumped down the sand bank and sat in between Jordan and I.

“That’s really odd, though. Like, we’re in the middle of nowhere. How did a fishing rod get out here?” Jordan wondered.

“Same thing with the armor and the zombie!”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe we aren’t alone out here. Maybe other people have already been here and died and we’re next.” Everyone got quiet for a second, contemplating this theory. Then Tom broke the silence by launching into what he believed what was the history of this great island. Still, the idea that we weren’t the first lingered in my mind like the smell of fish in the air.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

We fished and shot the breeze for a couple of hours. Whenever we caught one, we would hand it off to Sonja, who would put it in the furnace while she worked on improving our base.

“I had no idea this would be so efficient!” Tom remarked.

“E-fish-ent?” Jordan made that face he makes whenever he tells a stupid pun. Sonja and I groaned. Tom laughed, but Tom laughs at everything Jordan says.

Sonja popped up at the top of the sand bank. “Hey tucker, do you need some feesh?”

“I do, actually.” I responded. She dropped it on my head.

“Wow, thanks Sonj,” I said, gobbling it up as fast as I could without choking on the bone. I started to feel better after that. Now all I needed was a good dip in salt water and bam! No more worrying about getting mistaken for zombie (or worse: Tom) and being killed by one of my teammates. I decided to wade into the water and sit down in the shallow part, letting my wounds take in the salt water. It stung a little, but the water was cool and it felt nice. Once we caught enough fish to last us a little while, we all went about separate tasks. I was in the mine when I heard Sonja say to no one in particular, “Where did my rabbit go?”

“Why’s it your rabbit? It’s gonna be our rabbit,” I retorted.

“I guess so… Yay! I found him!”

“What’s his name?” Tom asked.

“Hmmm... “ Here we go again. It’s basically a law a law that you have to name every single thing that moves. First the zombie villagers, now this.

“Well he kind of looks like a cow…”

“Name it Moo the Rabbit,” I suggested. “Or Bud.”

Sonja sounded like she liked that name.“Moo! Moo the Rabbit.”

I ventured back up to the surface. I had gotten loads of iron and coal. The sun was setting again when I got up there, and I could smell porkchops. I saw my girlfriend chasing a bunny around, Jordan working on the house to make it less crap, and Tom improving our farm so that we could breed the cows that had appeared. I took a deep breath and smiled. We are gonna make this work.

Well, either Tom or Sonja’s recording after me, so you’ll find out what happens next when they writes it all down. I’m actually pretty stoked. Good things are ahead.

Signing off,

Jericho.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

#mianite #trisle #trisle au #trinity island #trisle: day 2 #iijeriichoii #captainsparklez #omgitsfirefoxx #tom syndicate #tiem reester #mianite fanfic

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luvknow · 5 years

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under the cut is all 30-ish asks LOL i’ve tagged those who didn’t go on anon!! if i missed anyone, im sorry ;;;;;

1. I think Lisa's fully thai and pretty sure Yeri (I'm assuming red velvet's) is fully korean, but I completely agree with you about Lana! I don't understand the support for a fully white person in kpop- like why??? Also I think Somi not being supported has to do more with 'oh look this popular girl was on sixteen/produce so lets just hate on her'- doesn't make sense. And your post on asian eyes is soo true!! Like got bullied over 'chinky' eyes but a white person having them is celebrated.

ahhh ok i thought lisa was half because her last name doesn’t sound thai, but i could just be ignorant! and yeri hm does she have a step parent? someone told me her dad was an actor or something but anyways!! and with somi yeah i think it could be that too :/ one time i saw a white person cosplay at this anime convention and they taped their eyes and i................ wanted to die...........LOL

2. !!! I literally sent another an to someone about this (I don't know if my asks keep getting eaten or if no one wants to respond 😞) but like she's apparently gotten surgery to look more Korean 🙄🙄 however she doesn't look Korean at all in her music video. Also yeah she can kinda sing but it's not anything special at all. Also the dancing.. apparently she's "classically" trained... when I watched her dance I was so confused because I expected more - pt.1 soz / But it didn't seem like she knew how to follow a simple routine at all. I'm classically trained and it's hard work so to me it's kinda insulting that she thinks she can lie about that??? Maybe she isn't but.. Also this song isn't catchy and the lyrics are ? V questionable. Anyways that my two cents, take it as you will. - pt.2

i hope the surgery thing isn’t true, i won’t believe it until i see evidence or something but......... thassa no.......................................... classically trained sounds like that takes yeeeaarrrss to do, i hope she didn’t lie about that cuz like what’s the point in lying skjdskjd

3. Kpop is literally for asians.. It's an Asian genre catering to Asian people... Idk why white people decided to come in and why this Lana girl feels the need to debut as an idol. Honestly, kpop for me (as an Asian) was the one place I could go to and be surrounded by other Asians, who appreciate OTHER ASIANS and their music. I'm tired of white people coming in and taking things that don't belong to them... like just go debut in Russia or America if they want to debut so badly...

I FUCKING!!!!! I’m SAYING UGH LIKE I DON’T GET WHY IT HAS TO BE K-POP OUT OF ALL GENRES?????????????? couldn’t she have like.... debuted and then worked with k-pop artists like that’s a collaborative effort on both ends rather than her appropriating ugh i just.......... it does Not make sense.

4. @miniwaves Who is this Lana and why are they letting a fully WHITE person debut in an ASIAN group??? As an Asian I feel very offended, this is something that is important to our culture and something we have that is separate from other countries... but sure go ahead and let someone not of that culture join just because it's "good publicity". Freaking heck...

i think she’s debuting as a soloist, i could be wrong, but even if it was a group i just.... don’t like it and it doesn’t make sense to me and yeah i agree i think it’s insulting to those who have a personal connection as an asian to have someone not asian take advantage of the rise in kpop like this.

5. okay i looked up lana and watched her live and it was not pretty to see or listen to... as an asian i feel weird seeing a white person in a kpop/asian industry... it's very cringy to watch too...

it’s weird, i think it’s kinda gross, and yeah i bet it’s a lil cringey lol

6. no offense to lana but i don’t think you’d wanna hear her sing,,,, there’s that one group (z-girls??) with all asians like thai, indonesian, indian, japanese, filipino, but people are mad bc they should classify as kpop bc they’re not korean. but ppl are supporting lana even tho she’s also not korean, because it gives them hope that they can also be kpop idols and be with their oppas

YES Z-GIRLS :(((( WHERE IS THERE ATTENTION?? a colorful group of beautiful ASIAN women trying to make it in an ASIAN industry but you never hear about them why???????? like none of this is fair lmao omfg your last statement Stop.... spill the tea sis...........

7. as a run-of-the-mill white person... I don’t get why anyone who is white feels the need to perform in kpop or become a kpop artist because they have their own culture/country/industry/ whatever tf that they can make music and perform in?? That’s all music is, really, an industry and I can understand wanting to be involved in some way but just singing in Korean shouldn’t be enough for you to be deemed a “kpop artist”

“run of the mill white person” omg please lol and oooo i think your last statement is very interesting because what really constitutes as a kpop artist these days, especially if the idol is asian but not korean, you know? but yes, thank you for addressing that white people have their own music industry skjdalkjds

8. YES EXACTLY like i have a Very Chinese name and i didn't start becoming cool with it until i got into exo m because yifan luhan zitao yixing!! so even though i'm into other groups too, exo will always have a special place in my heart. and same, i used to get made fun of for liking kpop but look at us now

that’s beautiful that kpop can really do that and make non-korean asians feel included in some form you know?? i love it!!

9. everybody gave that alex reid girl TONS of shit for being a black kpop idol when she was in rania, but now that lana has debuted, she gets all of the love and support and i'm just like ????? freaking flabbergasted by this whole thing :'(

i had to look her up, but that’s so unfortunate and unfair that the backlash only happened to someone who was black, but wasn’t as severe for lana like.... pick a side, you either don’t want non-asians in kpop period or you do like don’t be colorist about it.

10. Yours and that last anon's message about being asian resonated so much

i couldn’t remember which one it was LOL but i’m glad you can relate to us!!

11. i'm kinda curious why lana didn't just stay in russia and start her career there instead of coming to korea, learning korean, and having to go through the whole training process when staying in her home country would have been easier but it's like she knows how popular kpop is now worldwide and is trying to profit and get famous off the hard work of the other groups who had to struggle in order to get kpop recognized in other countries but that's just my opinion

i don’t completely agree with the first part, simply because non-korean asians did all the training and learning korean to become a kpop artist rather than staying in china/thailand/america, BUT i fully agree with that last part like so many idols outside the big 3 and other well known companies are struggling right now.......... and then she swoops in and is getting more attention that most groups like ok..

12. @hnlix i just think it's really funny how some non-asian people really just wanna talk abt how they feel abt having a full white kpop idol & how good it is .... like..... ok lol !!!!!

girl the way i eye rolled............ im pressed LMAO

13. white people wanna be oppressed so bad lmaoooo

LIKE WHY THO LMAOOO

14. i hate how asian oppression is largely ignored but once we stand up for ourselves we're making a big deal or being sensitive if you're not asian don't tell us how to feel

LMAO omg it’s cuz we’re “submissive & too sensitive” LMAO like no bitch!!!!

15. Any white kpop fan who is trying to tell an Asian how they're supposed to feel about a music genre that is meant for Asians, created by asians, and catered to ASIAN people who go right f*** off

TELL EM SIS

16. I think Lisa isn't half white just her stepfather is white I believe

AH OK!!! makes a lot of sense!

17. Lol I’m so sorry you’re getting these white Kpop fans coming here acting all oppressed and calling your opinion invalid. I also got a bunch of these yesterday when I voiced out my opinion- lost a bunch of followers but oh well. These are probably the same fans who low key also want to become idols- smh 🤦🏻‍♀️

losing followers over your feelings of oppression is just natural selection at its finest babie, we in dis together!!!!!!!!!!! that last sentence............ spill the tea sis..........

18. All ur saying is that white people dont belong in an Asian industry lmao idk what anon is getting so worked up about. You’re not even making fun of her ur just stating the facts. There’s a difference

thank you like i didn’t say white people deserve to die or that i called her ugly LOL i just don’t want her in this industry!!!!!!!!

19. @jisungs-veterinar So i know about Rania she's mixed black but not asian. She is very cute and nice and she got into the industry without any type of talent she just liked songwriting and the agency scouted her without audition but things were good and there wasnt hate from what i saw. But Lana is just a white girl who likes kpop and knows how to dance(nothing special believe me)and just barely learned to sing.Just because daddy has money she got here because she appeared in some kshows.She has no right to be here / Therefore i just wanna say i agree with you and it angers me so much that Lana is here in kpop ALLOWED to be and ugh

i see, well a lot of kpop artists get their songs from other non-asian artists too. i just don’t like the idea of non-asians considered as idols, even rania, but i’m confused cuz some people are saying she got a lot of hate and some are saying she didn’t but regardless it seems like lana is getting some special treatment and it’s not right. but it’s all heresay i suppose idk kasjdlka

20. okay wow that one anon basically saying that whites are being oppressed?? no. im mixed but i’m ridiculously white passing, most people don’t believe me when i tell them that i’m half chinese but once they hear it, all of the asian jokes come out and i’m reduced to the stereotype of one of my heritages. so please anon, be quiet. also it makes total sense for someone to not be for a white person, or any person who isn’t asian that means alex (i think it’s alex) as well and i’m running out of space / im continuing lmao from that last ask. kpop/jpop/cpop are specific genres of music that originate from these countries and from the people in these countries. it’s one of the very few ways that asians get recognition and now it’s on a global scale that their effort are being seen so no imo i don’t think that non asians should be coming into the industry. if a nonasian wants to be an artist in a pop genre? please stick to just pop and if you want to show appreciation for these languages and -

one drop of blood that isn’t white and ppl reduce you to that thinking you are lower than they are but then once that drop of blood is popping and flourishing they wanna take advantage of that and it’s hurtful ugh!!! AND YES LIKE ASIANS ARE FINALLY GETTING SOME FORM OF RECOGNITION even if it is asian pop it’s a step forward imo like where else do we get recognized by the masses?

21. the thing is white people already have so much representation in western media. kpop is something uniquely asian and i feel like it would sort of ruin it if white people or other races started trying to debut as idols. i don’t know i don’t want to be exclusive or whatever you would call it, but it just doesn’t seem right in my opinion.

i agree!! it’s something that’s unique to asia/asians and by adding non-asians to the mix i feel like it reduces it’s authenticity and dilutes the pop culture to something other than kpop

22. I see where you’re coming from 100%. Like if some white person tried to enter the Mexican industry(?) I’d be like “wtf” too.

LOL thank you for agreeing jashdajh

23. *filipino/dark skinned kpop idol* KpOp iS oNlY fOr AsIaNs nOt FoR anYoNe ElsE *white asian lookin idol* hmm yea we nees the diversity y'all stop being racist 😏

LMAO PLEASE u tell em sis!!!!!!!!!!! the day a filipino makes it into kpop i will cry

24. Why did nobody back up exp edition as much as this chick?? The clowns y'all are 2day.......

LMFAO...................... it’s cuz she’s a girl and i’m sure most of these anons are girls and you know how it goes................................... lana gives them hope KLJDLKSJDSL

25. @virgolix hi mori 🐥 just wanted to join in as well. & i think i see where ur coming from. from my understanding, it has always been hard to for asians to have proper representation in western media. & that must be why a lot of people are having a hard time supporting lana. she (a non-asian) can make her debut in korea, but not it's not so easy vice versa. how many asian pop musicians do we see who are based in america? few & far between. that's why kpop is so valuable to the asian community 💞 -virgolix / also no pressure to answer that mori & if any bit sounded ignorant - please let me know. always willing to learn 🧸 - virgolix

no no you’re not ignorant at all miss neenz!!! i agree, it will be hard for her, and i hope she’s ready for all the hardships that come with being a non-asian in the kpop industry. and yes, asians don’t get many opportunities in the west for entertainment, and when they do show up it’s a great feeling and accomplishment and step forward for us!! for a long long time, kpop idols and kdrama actors were all i had to look up to, and i’m not even korean lol.

26. @jxsng people really be making discourse about this ??? it’s true though — like z girls and z boys ??? where’s the korean media about them ????? and other asian idols too — there’s a reason why there’s usually only chinese japanese and korean idols , but suddenly white people can come in and everyone fine just because ??? wasn’t there black idols who failed in the industry bc of racism in the past ?????

i didn’t know there was a zboys!!! zgirls weren’t my style, but it’s sad lie where is their attention ://// i’m not so sure about the last part? there was this one rapper who was half black half korean tho who got attention at one point but i dont think she made it big..... i cant remember her name!! :(

27. ok so im only here for that one ask talking abt black kpop idols and i might not know all black kpop idols but the one i know who is the first non asian person to debut in kpop, has said it herself that she wasnt opressed in anyway, glorified even. so idk what theyre talking abt? also i dont like lana not bc she debuted in kpop as a white person but bc its obv that she did it w koreaboo intentions? everything abt her screams koreaboo and im just speechless lol

ah that’s interesting!! idk her story tho. that’s what i think about her too, like why..... does she look like she passes for half asian.... but she isn’t.... and it rubs me the wrong way. but i just also don’t like that she’s white...

28. i honestly find it kinda stupid how ppl are treating this situation. i dont like lana but honestly other races being in kpop shouldnt be such a big issue? if a company wants to debut a nonasian person it shouldnt be our issue? i dont think its anything evil. i just dont like lana because she seems to be trying to look and force the idea that she is asian? if a nonasian person will debut in kpop they should at least have a character of their own yk

you give a really interesting point and i think a lot of my feelings DO stem from her looking asian when she’s not, rather than her just being non asian and trying to make it into kpop, but for a very long time i only had kpop idols to really feel like it was ok to be asian and idrk where i’m going with this LOL but idk i still don’t like the idea of non-asians in kpop, etc. so idk. am i ignorant for feeling this way?

29. people will never understand that white ppl can't be oppressed and poc can't b racist towards white ppl, we can discriminate and be Rude but that's It. fans only think about this One white girl trying to make it in an industry where she doesn't rly belong, but looking at this in terms of society as a whole, it Is a problem. when poc have something that belongs to Them, white people always want in.

UGH LIKE i feel like people are thinking that i legitimately hate this one girl and that’s it like no i don’t hate her, i hate that she and everyone who is supporting her don’t understand where people who are affected by this are coming from and it’s like no one is listening.............................

30. anon is kinda stupid ngl how r u gonna say we’re being racist to white people it’s not possible 😭😭😭 u guys really want everything don’t u 😭😭😭

LMAAAAAAAOOOOOO KJFLKSFJ

31. lana is just a big kboo n all the ppl that support her are just wee little kboos in the making

KJDLKSJDSLKJSLDJ LOOOOOL

32. idk what’s going with this whole thing but, you’re totally right, i’m white and white people ARE NOT oppressed. why are people getting salty abt it?

i literally don’t know LMAO LIKE I’M BEING RACIST FOR DEFENDING SOMETHING THAT WHITE PEOPLE ARE TRYNA DIP THEIR FEET IN WHERE I THINK THEY DON’T BELONG????????? ok

33. either way lana is a whole ass kboo and can’t even perform soo

omg i have never watched her but ajksldjalksdjnasdnasnd

#sorry if this subject brought something negative to your dash #but thanks to those who sent in asks and had something to say!!! whether you agreed with me or not #idk i personally love discussions like this but i will admit i get carried away #discourse #ugh i feel cleansed

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ansu-gurleht · 5 years

Text

let's talk metaphysics, friends and countrymen. i should preface this by saying it's my interpretation of the lore, and that im borrowing a good bit from other theories before me. but my goal here is to make what i believe as clear as possible.

first, to set the scene, allow me to present an appropriate frankensteined quote:

"In heaven as it is on earth ... the whole of the law is do as thou wilt." - Matthew 6:10 and Aleister Crowley

and finally, before the readmore, here's the essence of what i believe about the metaphysics of the elder scrolls universe:

in this universe, the driving forces aren't any laws of physics, but the desires, wants, wills, hopes, dreams, and ideas of its inhabitants, from ancient deities to mortal men and mer to the meekest beasts to the world itself. everything is made from what people want, think, and believe, both individually and collaboratively.

that said, i do NOT consider the world to be the "dream" of some sort of "godhead" or "amaranth." it is all very real, and the fact that its existence is determined by desires is real, too. i don't adhere to the meta theory that the setting's core is inherently fictional - in our world, it is, but in theirs, it is very real.

with that out of the way, it's important i establish one of the most important bits of terminology i'll be using here: AE. AE is what you might could call a "soul" or similar unique essence that every being possesses, but it's more than that, really. it's the desire to exist as a separate, unique being, as well as the desires that being possesses.

AE is also its own power source in this universe. in our world, we can want something to be done, or imagine it, but that doesn't make it so without putting in effort to make it reality. in the world of the elder scrolls, the simple desire for something to happen greatly influences its possibility of happening. the stronger the AE, the more power it holds, meaning it has greater sway over the outcomes of reality.

the way that the universe (what we would call the aurbis) began was that the First AE (capitalized to distinguish it from other AEs, as it’ll be important later) willed itself to exist. that’s a very primal sort of AE. you see, back then, there wasn’t anything except the Void, which also wasn’t anything, either. it’s a bit confusing, but think of it as the concept of “nothingness” but completely stripped of all of our ideas and connotations. true “nothingness” in this way is actually quite a bit different from, say, empty space.

if you know anything about quantum physics, i might have another way to describe it. (if you know a lot about quantum physics, i’m sorry that i’m probably wrong.) the absolutely most basic, smallest level of the universe (our real life one, that is) is these things we call “strings” that “float” in a quantum “foam.” those strings are sort of like how you always see waveforms drawn in physics classes or whatever, except instead of a drawing, they’re actually millions of times smaller than atoms, and they make up the fabric of our reality.

the particular wavelength and form of a quantum string determines what exists “at that point” in space. so some strings say, “this is a quark,” or “this is a neutrino,” or “this is just a photon with a red wavelength.” what i’ve called “quantum foam” is basically the somewhat chaotic nature of these strings at that smallest level. some strings just do whatever and don’t care. they change back and forth from zero energy to being an electron and back again, but the overall difference is basically cancelled out, so you can’t really say anything was ever there at all.

that is what the Void in the elder scrolls is like. it’s an infinitely empty space carrying unfulfilled potential for existence. things could happen there, and sometimes do, but just as often things don’t, and the things that happen are so minimal, or get cancelled out by their opposite thing, that it doesn’t really mean anything to say something happened at all.

so what’s the First AE, the thing that created the Aurbis? the first thing that was ever “desired” in that universe was for something to exist separately from the Void. due to the chaotic nature of the void, this sorta necessitated that the Aurbis would be a bit less chaotic. it was absolutely chaotic at the beginning, with a lot going on all at once. but you could actually ascribe meaning to things, even though it may be convoluted or difficult to understand.

to speak in terms of in-universe sources, you could call the First AE “Anu” and the Void “Padomay.” however, i’m not going to be mentioning them much, especially not as sentient entities of their own. they’re really just the purest cosmic essence of order and chaos, meaning and meaninglessness. kinda.

but, essentially, the First AE is something like, “i wanna be Anu and you can be Padomay.” so a zero becomes ... either one or two, depending on how you look at it. do you count padomay? or is padomay still a zero?

i’d say both! as soon as anu is “born,” padomay is also born. you could say anu = 1, and padomay = 0, but padomay does NOT equal the same 0 as it did before. before, padomay was that “primordial” zero, the one without any meaning. but by anu Willing itself to exist, it gives padomay the meaning Not-Anu. before, padomay had no defining characteristics. now, its single defining characteristic is that it is separate from anu.

anyways, the aurbis, in its own weird way, is also infinite like padomay/the Void is. it’s a lesser infinity, but comparing the sizes of infinities is confusing, so i’m not going to dwell on that. suffice to say, it’s also infinite. and it’s packed full of something similar to what the Void is filled of, but also very different. it’s got stuff happening, but a lot of stuff doesn’t immediately get undone. what it’s filled with is what we call “creatia,” which is the Stuff that everything is made of. an important distinction: it’s Stuff, not Things. it’s got this limitless potential to Exist as Things, but it has to be MADE into particular Things. otherwise, it’s just random stuff. kinda like legos that haven’t been built into anything, except the legos can take on basically any shape they want.

keyword: want. there’s room in this aurbis for other AEs, too! the first one after the First AE is basically, “well, i wanna be separate from anu too” and becomes separate, but in a .... very particular way. as i said, the aurbis is infinite, which means that there’s endless possibilities in the way AEs can manifest. it’s sort of like, anu wanted to exist just so something existed. all the AEs that come after want to exist for a reason, and each one has a different reason.

anyways, after that second AE, a bunch more start cropping up really fast, and a lot of them are VERY different from each other. think of it like this: if the aurbis is infinite, and you randomly pick out a chunk (represented as a number), you could get like, a 41. or a 291196283494. or a 6290. you can get a bunch of wildly different Things. an infinite bunch, actually.

unfortunately, because just about all of these brand new Things that exist are very different, their AEs don’t get along. one will say “i want to exist as a banana,” and another will say, “well, i want to exist as a fast-breeding animal that only eats bananas, and is really, really good at it.” (that’s a probably bad, and admittedly weird/random example, but hopefully it illustrates my point.)

let’s look at this from a real-world astrophysics lens again: at the beginning of our universe, the first things that existed were either matter or antimatter. except they really didn’t get along, and if they met each other they’d get into a fight and both die. explosively. and also, the universe wasn’t too big, so there wasn’t a lot of room, and they ran into each other a lot.

you could say the tes universe is similar. a lot of Things existing that don’t get along, and fighting all the time. except if one wins, it either absorbs the other into itself, or the loser just ... stops existing. there’s an infinite amount of aurbis to go around, for sure. but this particular period of its “history” went on (and might still be going on) for an infinite amount of time. Things and Ideas and Stories and People and Places all fighting over who gets to be Real, or really, who gets to be the Realest. it all depends on which one has the strongest AE, which one wants it the most. and all these Things are developing as they fight and absorb each other, becoming even more unique, becoming even more sure in their AE.

so what we end up with, in tes, is basically a bunch of these spirits we call the et’ada. it’s just a loose conglomerate of entities that were basically the strongest of the bunch.

one of the most well known of them, lorkhan, had a really strong AE. but he didn’t really feel like fighting anybody, or hanging out with the cool kids, so to speak. he’d been around for a long time, and felt kinda disenchanted with the whole thing. so he just kinda wandered around the aurbis, looking for stuff to do, or see, or talk to, hoping to try and justify his existence. because his AE to exist was strong, but he wasn’t sure why.

at some point he somehow finds the “edge” of the aurbis, the boundary between anu and padomay. and he walks out into the Void, and then turns around. and he sees the 1, the whole, completely separate from everything else and containing multitudes within itself. and lorkhan realizes .... something. something utterly transcendental, as i imagine what looking at all of existence would do to you. and with that realization, he also realized why he wanted to exist.

he went to his friends, the other spirits, and said, “good news, guys! i found something really cool and special, and i want to show you all!”

and they said, “ok, uh, what’s your name again?” a lot of them had heard about him, but didn’t know too much about him.

“oh, lorkhan,” he said. they asked him where it was, and he said, “oh, we have to go out into the Void to see it.”

some folks didn’t even know what he was on about. what’s the Void anyway? but there was one guy who was old enough to know. he was some cranky old dragon guy obsessed with clocks. and he said, “uh, hell no, are you crazy? if you go out into the void you’ll stop existing and probably die.”

dragon dude, aka akatosh, was pretty popular, almost the most popular probably, so everyone was immediately on his side. but lorkhan said, “well, i went out and i was fine! trust me guys it’s REALLY cool.”

and akatosh said, “it’s probably because you’re a freak, some kinda mutant that barely exists anyway.” and lorkhan didn’t really know how to respond, and everybody left him, whispering to each other about how he was a freak.

so lorkhan thought about this. he thought long and hard. how do i make them believe me? how do i make them understand that they need to see this? he talked with some of his other, kinda outcasty friends. eventually, he came up with an idea. he went to who was probably his most popular friend and told her about his plan. her name was kynareth, and he wanted to know if she would vouch for him if he presented this to some of the other big guys in town. she was absolutely delighted and promised that she would kick up a hurricane if she had to to get his plan going.

so everybody gets together and lorkhan tells them his plan. since everybody was being chicken and wouldn’t go see it themselves, lorkhan figured the next best thing was to make a miniature model of what he wanted to show them. the best way he figured to do this was by making a world.

now, the aurbis wasn’t a stranger to worlds at this point. the thing is, saying “this point” doesn’t hold a lot of meaning, because back then, time was a mess. it wasn’t a linear line like we understand it. it was chaotic, with effects happening without anything causing it, and weird loops of effects, just a lot of time nonsense, really. but every now and again somebody would have the idea “let me make a place of my own and try to make some sense of it,” and so they would. these were usually pretty small scale worlds created only by one spirit.

i don’t have much to support this particularly theory, but i believe that the act of “establishing linear time” isn’t something just limited to akatosh. he’s responsible for it on nirn, but on other worlds, that may have just fallen to whoever their creator was. so what we end up with is a sort of time stew, where the “water” is all the crazy time nonsense without any order happening, and the chunks of meat and vegetables or whatever are the timelines of these worlds. those pocket timelines are what you could call “kalpas.”

we know very little about other kalpas. we know of only one by name: lyg, which was an ocean world ruled by the dreugh, which are kinda like lobster people, and it was ruled (and possibly created by) molag bal. whether or not he was an asshole at the time, like he is now, isn’t certain. all we know is that it’s said the “magna-ge” (who i don’t think technically existed yet, so this probably refers to simply other et’ada in the aurbis) “created” mehrunes dagon to destroy lyg and defeat molag bal, which he did. there’s also good reason to suspect that the hist trees that argonians worship, as well as perhaps yokuda or akavir, come from other kalpas. also, apparently the ayleid king umaril’s dad was from another kalpa, but that’s all we really know.

anyways, back to the main story. lorkhan tells everybody this idea, and with a little strong-arming from kynareth, everybody agrees to contribute and help out. some people were really enthusiastic, like this guy named magnus, who offered to be the world’s architect and help design it.

first things first: they needed to make room for the world. so in the “middle” of the aurbis (the aurbis is kinda infinite, so there’s technically no middle. you could call it maybe the “metaphysical” center of the aurbis, perhaps a place with the strongest concentration of creatia), they made a big “bubble” that kept the aurbis out, and the “mundus,” as it came to be called, in.

then, they started the real work. they took the creatia they had sectioned off and started building in earnest. some folks even offered up some of the scraps from their own personal world projects to help. (this is how those other kalpas intersect with ours, and why nirn has dreugh, and umaril’s dad, and maybe yokuda, akavir, and hist.) it was all going pretty well, and most folks were getting into it. maybe even that akatosh guy, but he’s just a grumpy asshole, so who cares.

but uh, people started getting sick. and weak. and uh. dead. it was weird and so they talked to lorkhan about it. he said, “oh, uh, yeah. about that. you see, uh. that kinda has to happen for this to work, because this thing’s gonna need a lot of creatia and divine energy and stuff, so-”

but most people stopped listening after hearing he knew people would die for this, and started yelling and grabbing torches and pitchforks and stuff. even magnus and kynareth were upset. and akatosh jumped on all this hating-lorkhan energy, because he really hates lorkhan, and decided they should all get together and talk about this somewhere. maybe some place fancy, and kinda powerful. magnus said, “i got you, my man,” and built a fancy tower, that was also powerful, from some of his building notes he’d made with lorkhan.

so what happened on the top of that tower was Convention. akatosh convinced everybody to kill lorkhan, except he wouldnt die, not even when he made his loyal knight trinimac literally rip his heart out. so akatosh said “fuck it” and stuck it on an arrow and shot it across the world.

so lorkhan’s dealt with, and now everybody had to decide what to do. magnus was feeling really betrayed and sad and kinda guilty so he said, “i’m just gonna leave.” and a bunch of his friends and family left with him, just kinda shooting through the bubble from mundus to aurbis, like slamming open a door and not even bothering to close it behind you, to show how mad they were. that’s magnus, the sun, and the magna ge, the stars.

then some folks said, “yeah, i’m not really feeling this anymore, either, but we might as well see what happens to it, now that it’s almost done,” and they ran off to the empty space around the world, which they called oblivion, and made some little personal worlds to chill in, and occasionally screw with nirn from. those are the daedra.

some folks still wanted to see this work out, though. some, who had already given so much of themselves for this, decided to go all the way, and gave the rest of their divine essence to help stabilize the world. some of them decided to just stay and live there. these are the earthbones and the ehlnofey respectively.

akatosh and approximately seven of his friends (the aedra) were like, “i guess we’ll look like assholes if we don’t give a little more to help too....” so they did, but then they also hightailed it out of there. they also poked holes in the bubble, but they kinda just.....stood in the doorway? mundus in front, aurbis in the back kinda deal. but one of the most important things akatosh did before he left was straighten out time on nirn so that effect usually always followed the cause, so we have linear time. (he’s an asshole, and not very competent, and fucks up a lot, sometimes for like, a thousand years at a time, but, i guess he tried.)

okay, that’s sort of the history stuff out of the way. let’s talk about whatever the hell CHIM is, and what Towers are, and all that.

so, basically, what lorkhan saw when he looked at the aurbis from the void was The Tower, which is also the First AE. now, it’s not a literal tower. that’s mostly metaphor. but in this world, ideas are reality, so the metaphor is real, too.

that’s important because it means that even though it’s this huge, nearly incomprehensible thing, you can use different ideas and metaphors to represent it to make it easier to understand.

in essence, what The Tower represents is power and the pure essence of will. it’s the first thing to exist, so it has to be very powerful, and be very strong in its desire to exist. that power and desire sort of colors everything that exists within it - so everything within anu/the First AE is in some way always going to be similar to it. if anu contains every thing that exists within it, that means anu always has at least one relationship with them: that they exist within it and because of it. in this way it has a sort of power over everything that is derived from it.

so technically, The Tower, a.k.a. anu, is the “First Tower,” but we don’t usually call it that, mostly because while time itself begins with its creation, linear time doesn’t. so it’s hard to say what comes first. but literally the first thing that happens on nirn is the creation and establishment of the first Tower, the adamantine tower, on the top of which Convention was held, lorkhan killed, etc. the one who was in control of Convention, akatosh, is therefore the “ruler” of that tower.

remember that i said a metaphor actually embodies what it represents. so the adamantine tower is in a way THE Tower, or at the very least a very potent reflection of it. it embodies the same, or a very similar power, which is to say it holds a great amount of sway of what’s within it. now, in this case, it’s not necessarily what’s within adamantine tower - it’s what surrounds it, and what it represents. it is surrounded by much of the continent tamriel, and it represents the establishment of linear time by akatosh. it essentially amplifies and solidifies the AE of its “ruler” and gives it much more control over reality than it would otherwise. it can turn an ant into a god, if an ant somehow became “ruler” of a tower like that.

you may notice i keep saying “ruler” in quotation marks. it’s a bit of a strange concept. sometimes “ruler” means a towers’ creator or commissioner, sometimes it means the person who “owns” the tower, sometimes it simply represents the will of the people within its “jurisdiction.” in the case of adamantine tower, its “ruler” is not magnus, who made it, but almost exclusively akatosh. it’s his will that it guarantees, his AE that it amplifies. generally, one who wishes to be “ruler” of a tower must already have a great deal of power, either physical, magical, ideological, political, etc. akatosh had a lot of basically every kind, but mostly political, i think.

the et’ada made the first tower, and inadvertently the second (red mountain), but it was mortals who made the rest. each tower has a “stone,” which is sort of like the thing that really holds it together, a way to properly attune to The Tower. adamantine tower has some kinda unknown stone; red mountain’s stone is literally lorkhan’s heart. one of the most significant and well-known towers, the white-gold tower in cyrodiil, has as its stone the chim-el adabal, the great big red stone in the amulet of kings, which is said to be the crystallized blood of lorkhan’s heart as it passed over cyrodiil on its way to vvardenfell.

there are other towers: the orichalc tower of yokuda, about which little is known except that it’s probably no longer active; snow-throat, which is the throat of the world mountain in skyrim, with a stone said to be a “cave”; green-sap, which is not one tree but many trees in valenwood, whose stone is the “perchance acorn” that grew it; crystal-like-law in summerset isle, with a stone called “transparent law” that fell in and likely deactivated during the oblivion crisis at the end of the 3rd era; and most notably, walk-brass.

walk-brass tower was created by the dwemer to be a perfect god. also called numidium, anumidium, akulakhan, etc., it has had a profound influence on the history of tamriel. its heart has changed a couple of times: first, it was also the heart of lorkhan, but this was later replaced by the mantella, an extremely powerful soulgem which contained the soul of the underking ysmir, and the imperial battlemage zurin arctus. numidium is associated with several “un-time events,” also known as “dragon breaks” because it’s basically when akatosh fucks up keeping time. it made its creators, the dwemer, disappear in the 1st era; something happened when it was activated after being rebuilt in rimmen, elsweyr; and it’s responsible for the mess that is the warp in the west, which is how daggerfall made all of its many endings canon.

really, the only major towers, at least in game so far, have been numidium, red mountain, and white-gold. numidium, as well as its recreation as akulakhan, feature heavily in daggerfall and morrowind; red mountain also serves as a major plot point and set piece in morrowind; and white-gold is a set piece in oblivion, as well as a perennial prize that has been fought over throughout history. also - all of these towers are no longer active. most towers are no longer active, if any. the ramifications of this isn’t really known, but are probably bad.

red mountain is of special note because its stone, the heart of lorkhan, was able to be tapped into via special dwemer tools to grant individuals godlike powers. this is how the tribunal - vivec, almalexia, and sotha sil - as well as their enemy dagoth ur, achieved their godhood. it’s not really known if this is a potential property of any tower, or if the stone of red tower being the literal heart of a god made it unique.

but godlike power is not the only kind of power these towers provide. they are a way for powerful people to manipulate the surrounding reality as they see fit, merely by willing it so. for instance, the white-gold tower, being one of the most powerful, has helped solidify the various empires that have obtained it, from the first empire of alessia to the most recent of the septims. (since it was deactivated at the end of the 3rd era, it’s unlikely the mede empire enjoys its benefits.)

the tribunal used the power of red mountain (and specifically, its heart) to establish their divine rule over morrowind; the dwemer wished to become perfect and divine; dagoth ur tried to do the same with akulakhan; green sap of valenwood binds its people to the green pact; white-gold has served as the empire’s capital and seat of power for millennia; and you could perhaps say that snow throat of skyrim gives the greybeards their power and isolation, as well. a tower is a political power as much as it is a metaphysical one. in fact, since ideas shape reality in the elder scrolls, those two powers are the same!

now let’s wrap this up by talking about chim and mantling for a second. a lot has been said about chim, and i think probably too much. if we go by what i’ve outlined as the essential nature of reality (that ideas directly shape reality) and The Tower, a.k.a. the First AE (the first thing to ever exist that encompasses everything that exists), some of what vivec has said about chim, and smudge some of the lines here and there, we can simplify it a lot.

essentially, chim is the closest you can get to what lorkhan saw when he looked back on the First AE from the Void. it’s not actually possible for mere mortals to achieve that; the closest we can do is sort of like a training exercise, kind of like sparring, except we’re sparring with the nature of reality itself.

let’s break this down really clean. say some bloke, let’s call them ceviv, wants to get enlightened, or something. ceviv has this thing in them that makes them exactly who they are, and no one else; they have an essential spiritual essence that clearly says, “this here is ceviv, and that there is the rest of the world, but that’s not me, and i’m not that.”

now, we’ve already established that the sum of existence, “anu,” is very much the same. it possesses an intrinsic nature that says, “this here is anu, and that there is The Void, a.k.a. my brother padomay, but he’s not me, and i’m not him.”

now let’s say ceviv looks anu dead in the eye and says, “this here is ceviv, and that there is anu, but why is he not me, and why am i not him?” the intended revelation, of course, is that “oh, he is me, and i am him.” except, if you’re anu, and not ceviv, then ceviv doesn’t exist anymore. that’s what “zero-summing” is. it’s realizing you’re part of “capital-G God,” but in the process losing sight of what part.

but let’s say ceviv has a really strong AE. they’ve really been hitting the spiritual-essence-of-existence gym. they look into anu’s eyes and say, “this here is ceviv, and that there is anu, and i am him, but he is not me.” anu contains ceviv, but isn’t ceviv; for anu to admit he was just ceviv would mean he’s not the hugely infinite thing he actually is.

the result of that outcome is chim. it’s saying, “i’m God, but God isn’t me.” you’re placing yourself on the same playing field as anu, but you’re also separating yourself from him by retaining your AE, the borders of your being.

except.....not quite. like i said, in the mundus, that sort of ultimate achievement isn’t quite possible. within mundus there is something of a simulacrum of anu that you can do this to, and it puts you on even ground with that, meaning you blow your AE up to the size of mundus, but not the aurbis as a whole. lorkhan is literally the only person, as far as we know, who has done the latter. so vivec’s cool and all, pretty powerful metaphysically or whatever, but he’s still not the coolest.

ok, let me clarify mantling, because it’s a related concept. the saying “walk like them until they walk like you” is a pretty good summary. basically, it’s doing the chim thing, but instead of looking anu in the face, you look somebody else within anu in the face. you say, “this here is me, that there is you, and i am you, and you are me,” similar to the zero-sum. except since you’re not comparing yourself to the whole of existence, it’s possible to work it out without ceasing to exist. it’s basically a battle of AEs - whichever one wants to be “it” the most.

just like we say that gods and daedra and what-have-you have “spheres of influence” or “dominions” or whatever, which is basically just whatever their particular thing is (hermaeus mora’s about that forbidden knowledge, clavicus vile’s about those deals, mara’s about lovey-dovey shit). technically, though, you don’t have to be a god or whatever to have a “sphere.” everybody sort of has their “thing,” which is usually just, you know, you doing you. but nobody wants to metaphysically become something that boring. no offense.

so basically you just start copying them and doing what they do. naturally you can’t just all of a sudden BE them. you’re still you, you’re just doing what they do. but if you do it right, you might almost convince the other guy that you actually ARE them. then they’ll start copying you, too. and eventually, there’s not really any way to tell who’s who, and if it even matters, anyways. that’s mantling.

okay, i’ve been sitting on this post and working on it for too long, so if i missed anything, well, i never called this a masterpost. but absolutely feel free to add your own ideas or ask if you need anything explained better! i’m always willing to help!

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