#and it all just- makes him EXTREMELY understandable. it's so easy to predict how he'd act in certain situations

[artekai]

👀👀👀👀👀 PLEASE tell me abt the yusuke x kai x joker ot3. what are your thoughts. share with the class

OKAY OKAY BESTIE SO SO GLAD YOU ASKED :D MWAH <3

(can you SEE me vibrating right now??? cause I'm vibrating SO hard >:3)

This will probably be mostly about Kai and Yusuke tho bc they're the ones rotating in the mind right now!!! I'm very sorry Joker :')

ANYWAYS LEMME SEE IF I CAN MAKE SENSE OF MY RAMBLES

Under the cut bc this got way too long T-T

Okay so, you ever think about how Yusuke and Kai were basically roped into infiltrating their father figure's palace, forcing them to confront ugly truths about their pasts, but teaching them to see the world in shades of gray as a result...?

And what I mean by that is... Yusuke idolized Madarame because he didn't want to believe that the man who cared for him was really such an asshole, because it was easier to pretend he wasn't, while Kai vilified Takuto because he'd rather be angry than sad, because it was easier to put all of the blame on someone else instead of having to face his own issues... They're coming from diametrically opposed places, but it's about the journey. The journey is the same T-T

Remember Yusuke's confidant and all of his talk about how humans contain multitudes, good and bad? And how he had to reconcile Madarame being an abusive asshole and the worst person in Yusuke’s life with his lingering fondness for his father figure and the little moments of care that Madarame did have...?

Yusuke understands how complicated relationships are, and he specifically has experience with a father figure that has simultaneously hurt him and cared for him. Even if Takuto and Madarame are not comparable, that is EXACTLY Kai is going through during the third semester. Reconciling what he thought he knew about his dad with everything he’s seeing… reconciling the discomfort of having to see all of the good, the bad, and the ugly inside his dad’s mind with his desire for truth and justice no matter how much it hurts…. reconciling his justified anger with his justified love and craving for parental affection….

AND HEAR ME OUT. Yusuke’s insistence that he can’t earn money from his art because that’s what Madarame did? Yusuke needs to be as far away from him as possible, no matter the consequences, to avoid falling into temptation or going down the same road as Madarame. He can't be anything like Madarame, even if that means having to starve himself for art. He understands. He understands Kai’s need to separate himself from the father who hurt him, even if he’s taking it to the other extreme and hurting himself in the process. Yusuke has been through this before.

And then Kai finding out that Takuto was fully responsible for the loss of his mother figure, which results in his second awakening? It just echoes Yusuke's own storyline so, so much... :')

So I think of them in the third semester, of Kai running off, upset, and being found by Yusuke... And Kai snaps at him, going “what, are you here to tell me I should go easy on my dad because he means well or cause he’s my dad or whatever?” because he's used to people taking his dad's side, and telling him he needs to calm down and go easy on him because he's trying his best. But Yusuke frowns instead, indignant at the idea that he would say such a thing, and goes “Absolutely not. You don’t have to be lenient on your father simply because he is your guardian. If there’s anyone in our team with the right to criticize Dr. Maruki, it should be you.”

And Yusuke understands how horrible it is to have to be faced with the physical manifestation of your dad's distorted desires, leading them to bond over how grossed out they are at Madarame's and Takuto's palaces. Yusuke tells Kai about how ostentatious and vain Madarame's palace was, while Kai tells him that he's disgusted by how sterile and controlling the lab is. He tells him that life is not supposed to be bland and predictable, like Takuto wants it to be, that it's supposed to be messy and fun... Yusuke can probably make a comparison to art there. About how art isn't calculated, but it's a reflection of human feelings instead. And human feelings are messy and unpredictable. And you can't take that away from art.

On a more lighthearted note, Kai would absolutely be overjoyed to model for Yusuke. In fact. Actually. Someone should probably get in there with them and stopping Kai from taking his clothes off. That someone should be Joker, I think

Anyways! Yusuke would be happy to have a model and Kai would be happy that someone is putting in the time and effort to immortalize his image in a painting! Do you realize how flattered he would be? And sure, maybe he's restless, and Yusuke definitely gets frustrated that he moves so much sometimes, but he can probably ramble as much as he wants while Yusuke paints him. So that's great for him! Kai loves talking a lot!

And he could tell Yusuke about other forms of art too. Like, you know, music! ^^ I think he would LOVE to learn about drawing or painting too, he just has never started because he's convinced he's terrible at it :')

In terms of pre-thirdsem, I think Kai would be more at ease around Yusuke than around other Phantom Thieves because he's not from Shujin, and he doesn't know Takuto as well. And if they meet before the school festival, it gives Kai a chance to make an impression that's not just "Takuto's son," you know? Just thought that was worth mentioning ^^

Also! A little detail I like is that Yusuke tends to interpret things literally, while Kai tends to make self-aggrandizing jokes... So that opens up a lot of chances for Kai to be doing his usual self-aggrandizing bit, not expecting anyone to take it seriously, and Yusuke just… looks at him… scrutinizing his body… and goes “hmm. You do have quite an impressive form…” and Kai INSTANTLY switches from cocky to a flustered, babbling mess :)

Joker can get roped into that too. Maybe Kai and Joker are playing around with each other and Yusuke then cuts in for honest flattery time, hehe.

I always say that Kai values honesty a lot, so Yusuke's bluntness and transparency would help him feel more relaxed and keep him from overthinking their relationship too much, as he does :') Meanwhile, Yusuke, who isn't the best at reading people or social interactions, might appreciate how expressive and open Kai is.

And! They're both kind of social outcasts at their schools, categorized only as "Madarame's weird pupil" and "Dr. Maruki's weird son" respectively... They've really been through a lot of similar experiences ;-;

(Call me weak, but I think it's sweet that Kai is small while Yusuke and Joker are tall lmao. Kai and his two tall boyfriends... <3)

All in all, I think Kai, Yusuke, and Joker do a lot of things for The Aesthetic(tm) but all approach it in different ways and I think that is very very cool of them :)

I basically think the OT3 would be like:

Kai: Looks unhinged, is unhinged

Yusuke: Looks like the rational one, is unhinged

Joker: Looks unhinged, is the enabler

And I was right, this was A LOT more about Yusuke and Kai than about the OT3 LMAO, I'm so sorry T-T

But... let's be real, you already know about Shukita, haha. I'm just adding Kai for a little more flavor :3

#ask tag #akeshuharu #kaito maruki #phantom thief kai au #p5r au #oc tag #deni's stuff #p5r spoilers #i'll come up with a ship name later lmao i need to go to sleep now :') #BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING FRIEND MWAH MWAH MWAH #I NEEDED THIS I REALLY DID ASDFGHHMGFD #AAAAAAAAA I ALREADY LOVE THEM...... #REALLY THANK YOU :') #feel free to add if you think of anything!!!! #i am.... so. SO SOFT omg.... the kai and yusuke parallels.... omg... #why didn't i see them before???? T-T #I LOVE THEM THANK YOU #yusukai #shukitakai

[astrolavas]

I LOVE the way you draw Hunter. Like- yes. That's just him. He's a sassy little kid. I love him.

THANK U, that is the BEST compliment

he's just.. a little dude..... a snarky bastard, a curious nerd, an asshole who likes cartoons and should get therapy and a better parental figure,, a smarty-pants sassy teenager, a kid whose only source of comfort is a magical bird....... just a little fella, we STAN a multifaceted king

#everytime ppl say they like the way i draw OR even characterize hunter it's like 🤲🤲🤲🤲 pspsps #literally the BEST compliment fr #i feel like he's so easy to characterize tho cuz all of his motives and just.. everything he does is super logical in his situation #not like. from an outside pov lmao but like. to HIM. cuz lots of stuff he does comes from a place of loyalty and need for self-preservation #AND trauma and manipulation. and low self-worth. and being trained to be a soldier at a young age. but that's all like- tied together so OOF #and it all just- makes him EXTREMELY understandable. it's so easy to predict how he'd act in certain situations #(altho some stuff has to be Pushed or forced/exaggerated when i draw comics or else they'd all be like 10+ pages long hxjsksjk F) #anyway #nicole answers #Anonymous

[cinnamonest]

Zhongli (Genshin Impact) - Yandere Profile

This man's voice has a POWER over me I SWEAR

tws: yandere, mentions of n/sfw

tws (under the cut): very ddlg-esque vibes, sorta? infantilization, noncon

I'm sorry I get such strong daddy vibes it unintentionally went in this direction, hope that isn't too bad lmao

I’m working on all the prompts I’ve gotten in! I’ve gotten a few so I’ll be working on those.

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What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

He's one that might be likely to misunderstand his feelings at first, think that he sees himself as a mentor or maybe even an authority figure, someone to guide you and teach you and serve as a dependable partner to your travels. As time goes on, and he begins to recognize how utterly flustered he gets around you, he's forced to acknowledge the actual feelings he has.

While some yanderes with a slight aloofness or pride to them get worse when in love, such as Childe or Kaeya, his drops completely. You bring out a softer side of him, really, one that's protective and tender and loving, so very loving, wanting to be around you, with you. He's certainly an obsessive, protective type, ultimately allowing his protective nature to get the better of him as he demands to know everything you've done, account for your location at every moment, constantly keep track of your habits, inquire about very personal details of your life. If he realizes you're bothered by it, he might draw back a bit, but he's convinced that that's just your perception, that it's necessary, truly, and not at all unusual.

Pet names. Particularly fond of love, darling, and angel. Sweet things that represent what you mean to him -- something precious, something to represent his adoration and idolization.

The primary form of delusion comes from a perception of you. He's obsessive, and idolizes you to an extent. He perceives you as pure, innocent, angelic. The thing is, this applies regardless of whether or not you actually are. If you are, it will solidify the idea, but even if you're not, he will find a way to see you so, anyway. No matter how wise you are, no, you're naive. No matter how capable you are, no, you're weak and fragile. No matter how experienced you may be, no, you're pure. He can always keep this delusion running by bringing into account age and comparison - you'll never be as strong as him, so you might as well be frail and weak. You'll never have lived as long as him, so really, do you think there's that much difference between you and a child, when compared to someone like himself?

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

Actually highly likely, and pretty quickly. As he observes you, it becomes very clear to him how very fragile you are, how naive you are, you are quite literally too pure, too angelic, to be living in this world with such beings as humans. Fragile, beautiful little things have a place where they belong - protected. Where do we put fragile, beautiful things? We put them behind glass, behind ropes, in pretty cages, in secluded rooms. It's only natural that you, too, need a similar environment.

He's one of the ones that will... Elegantly kidnap you, as odd as it sounds. He's not a brute that would do something horrendous like knocking you out or drugging you, no, he'll find an excuse for you to come to his abode, invite you in, and you'll walk in none the wiser. Only after your in, and the doors close, does he guide you to your new room, calmly explaining that he's come to the realization that you're too fragile to continue your journey, and ought to simply give up on your travels. He knows you'll be upset at first. Like a child being denied, you'll get pouty, moody, you might cry, you might lash out at him. It's predictable. He'll dry your eyes and calm you down, brushing off any harsh words you may have, holding your wrists in his hands when you try to push him away, softly reassuring you that it will all be alright, that you're safe now, and you'll learn to accept this with time.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

He would want something... elaborate. He's a man with taste for the most beautiful of things, including yourself, and he won't settle for something as simple as a chain or ropes. No, that would be too simple and brutish, and you, one of the finest things in his life, deserve something equally beautiful and delicate.

He's one of the ones that would go to a great deal of preparation for your arrival. He'd have a room prepared just for you, very ornate, beautifully tailored to you -- the walls your favorite color, the bed made of the same material as your old one, and the whole room completely filled with things you're certain you never even told him you liked. Clothes that fit perfectly to your body. It's frightening how perfect it is, because you know he had to go out of his way to acquire the information to achieve such perfection, but you have no idea how.

Everything about it elegant and detailed, right down to the series of ornate locks on the door. They're some of the sturdiest available, made with essentially unbreakable metal alloys and the most intricate lock systems to date. The windows don't open, and he'd certainly find some way to ensure escape through them isn't an option -- perhaps metal bars, perhaps an unbreakable glass substitute, perhaps merely locating your new home right on the edge of one of Liyue's most beautiful mountains, so that if you were to go out the window you'd plummet to the earth below. He's a bit delusional, but he's not stupid, and he will think through every possibility. Every little detail he needs to keep you safe and confined.

He's certain that, perfect as it is, this room is all you will ever need to be happy. Should you desire anything else, he can bring it to you. You'll never have to leave.

So it goes without saying that it would be exceptionally difficult to escape him. You'd have to find a way through the locks, for which your best bet would be to get some hair pins or tiny writing utensils. Even if you managed it, though, which would frankly be a very difficult feat, you'll have to deal with staying free. Zhongli has ties to the people of Liyue as a whole, and needless to say, he has eyes everywhere. You can't risk appearing in the harbor area, there will be far too many people who would immediately report you, and you'd just be walking right to him anyhow. The surrounding areas also have ties to him, so you'd want to try and reach Mondstadt, as far as it is, which is a difficult travel by foot all alone. You won't get far. He's faster, he's wiser, and he will find you long before you could ever hope to make it there.

However, he's not quite as angry as some yanderes would be about it. He doesn't take your escape personally, no, he blames himself, only calculating his own mistakes as to how it happened. He sees you as something like... a little runaway pet, so naive and dull that you don't know any better than to go wandering off. Or perhaps like a child, just sheepishly curious and wanting to explore, not knowing the dangers of the world. Or, perhaps...

"I haven't been giving you enough attention, have I? That's why you pulled this little act of rebellion... you're hurt by my negligence and wanted to be reassured of my care for you. I'm so sorry... I understand now, love. This was my fault. I've been so caught up with work... I'll delegate some tasks to my workers, and I'll be able to spend more time with you from now on, alright? Don't worry, I'm not angry, I'll take full responsibility. I'll be sure to make it up to you... now, let's go home."

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Much like Childe or Venti or anyone who has been around as long as he has, you really don't stand a chance. He's an incredibly perceptive man. There's not much to say on the matter, as any attempts will be quickly shut down.

He'd find it amusing, really. Like a child trying to lie, but the evidence is all over their face and hands - it's that obvious to him. It's cute enough that he almost hates having to discipline you for it, but, you have to learn.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He wants his little angel to be safe - and unfortunately, you, being so naive and empty headed, don't always know what's best for you. He knows rules can be hard to follow perfectly, but they're there to keep you safe.

Extremely strict, will want to monitor every moment of your life, every little movement you take, and will insist on watching over you in every task. He'll pick out everything you wear, everything you eat.

Occasionally, if you ask very sweetly, he may take you out for walks in Liyue. Honestly, he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy taking you to what he knows are the finest locations, shops with the highest level of craftsmanship, restaurants with a high price tag and reputable food. He enjoys showing off his refined tastes and discerning selective abilities. And honestly? There's a certain... Powerful feeling to knowing you're made aware of the costs when he makes high purchases in front of you... even if you don't realize he's not always actually the one paying for it, or that he forgot mora again but promises the owner to pay later - but he'll make sure you don't know that. You hear the numbers, and your eyebrows raise, your eyes widen. You'd nearly faint if that total was on your responsibility, and he knows that. Which is why he'll simply smile at you, and tell you you're worth every last Mora. He'll buy you nearly anything you may desire. It seems like leniency, but in reality, it's his subtle way of locking control and dependency over you, making you respect him, making you love him.

"Don't worry, love. It's not a lot... Not to me, at least. Even if it were, my angel only deserves the best, no?"

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Oh dear. Again, he's very strict, and wants to monitor everything you do, every little aspect of your life. He decides what you eat, portioning your meals to make sure you're eating enough, he worries about you going hungry during your travels, but luckily you'll never have to worry about that again. If you have a sweet tooth, he'll sigh and worry about your teeth and health, but he'll make sure to account for a little bit of sugar in your day, and will even pick up little treats from some of the most reputable places in Liyue.

He picks out clothes for you with each day. They're not... Normal clothes, per se. Certainly not what you'd normally wear on your travels. And it's not like anyone will see you except him - which is exactly why you'll have clothes he would never want anyone else to see you in. Frilly, lacey things, somehow both highly sexualized but also incredibly infantile, soft pinks, baby blues, gentle off-whites. They accentuate the curves of your body so perfectly, while just barely letting him see the parts of you normally kept hidden.

You'll have a schedule - a bath time, a bedtime, a wake-up time. He's weak to your requests, though, and may let you stay up a little late every now and then, or sleep in just a bit, if you make that soft pouting face and beg. He'll insist on bathing you, dressing you, so that you don't have to - and can't even if you wanted to - lift a finger even to wash yourself or put your clothes on.

He has a set of rules for you, very simple ones he hopes you can easily follow. No trying to leave. No doing anything dangerous. No talking to strangers when you go out. You must hold his hand whenever you're walking together, don't go wandering off.

He'll feel ashamed of the thought for a while, but eventually he'll cave and give into the desire, no, the security precaution, of a nice little collar for you. It's not too embarrassing, no, he went out of his way to find one that was delicate, almost like a necklace, made with fine materials, the engraving only visible up close. If you look closely, though, it clearly bears his name.

Breaking the rules is expected, he anticipates it. You're not the brightest, he might even view it as a mistake. A benefit is that you can easily pass it off as simply forgotten, or an accident. Hence, he's not too harsh - normally. He'll sigh, forgive you, and pat your head, contemplating how to prevent your access in the future.

Perhaps you wriggled out of his hand and ran off while walking? You were just excited, distracted, like a child. He might be able to procure a small leash, one that wouldn't be immediately obvious or embarrassing, to attach to your collar. Perhaps some cuff-like links to latch your arm to his.

You forgot the rule about not handling the kitchen knives and cut yourself? He'll have to get some kind of lock and simply keep them safely away from you. No big deal. Any measures are worth your safety.

If you push the limits, or have a defiant attitude, he might reach the point of punishment. As for not-unwholesome things, this would usually include taking away privileges, such as walks or sweets, but overall, punishment will mostly come in more impure forms.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Not too much to say here - he has connections. He doesn't need to dirty his own hands. For all his supposed humility, if he truly dislikes someone, they're no more significant than an insect to him. He has no reservations about ridding the world of people who, in his mind, are obviously trying to deceive you, abuse you, corrupt you.

Thankfully, he is very capable of keeping a neutral face, even when he feels laughter building up. It would probably look strange if he were smiling over the newest body to come into his parlor.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

It's a slow buildup. He views restraint as a virtue, and looks down upon those who lack control over their own tempers. He's a man who strives to meet his own standards of character, and that very much applies to self control and ability to maintain a controlled demeanor, even when he feels a bit of frustration due to you being intentionally and deliberately defiant.

It's his responsibility to be a good role model for you and make sure you understand how to behave. However, in the end, he's very keen on properness and rules. If you have a tendency towards brattiness and pushing your limits, you may drive him to a boiling point.

However, even when expressing his anger, he's remarkably controlled. It's very mature, really. Nonetheless, he will have you shivering and tearful with his voice alone, booming with that depth that reverberates off the walls, that vibrates against your very core. His true anger is one that can strike fear even in the most courageous individuals - he's terrifying when he wants to be, fierce and intimidating, a sort of power just eminates from him.

Nonetheless, it's quick, he calms down very quickly, wipes the tears from your eyes, and sighs.

"I do hate having to be firm with you... but I can't have you thinking you can just act however you want. You understand that, don't you?"

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Both? It's difficult to describe. You're an angel to him. You're the finest work of art, the most intricate creation, the kind of person whose body and likeness deserves to be preserved in art and tradition, one of those women who should be renowned for beauty even centuries long after you're gone from the earth. It's almost goddess-like. At the same time, there's a beautiful, tragic duality to your essence, he thinks. A fragility and a dependency that leaves you in need, but an inherent status of perfection that makes you deserve the utmost perfect of care. You need to be coddled, cared for, protected, but you deserve it. Like a deity incarnated into a mere fragile human form, a queen that needs support to retain her grace.

Unlike some, he doesn't view his care and protection as some kind of favor that should be repaid with your gratitude, no, really, he is grateful that he is the one who is even deserving of being your caretaker, your provider, your lover.

Even if he is the one who determined that he deserves that role.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

He's convinced that he can show you that he is your protector, your lover, that it's fate itself that has locked you together, not just his own will.

And he is, above all else, patient. One of the most patient you could encounter. You think a year is a long time? It's nothing to him. A century for you? More than a lifetime. For him? Nothing. He can and will wait, as long as it takes, and he will never falter in his continual care. He'll remind you frequently, he'll shower you in affection, but if you don't return it? It's not that bad. He has all the time in the world to fix you.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Moraless Sugar daddy

But in all seriousness, he is definitely of the gift-giving love language. He sees beautiful things, and beautiful things make him think of you! It's sweet, he thinks. So many little things he sees throughout his day make him think of you, and he has to have all of them, see your face when he gives them to you. He likes making you happy, for one, but he'd be lying if he said there wasn't a sort of satisfactory pride he gets from the power dynamic of it all. He wants to be the sole source of provision in your life, he wants your dependency.

If we're talking prior to the events of the game, it will be even more extreme. He treats it like it's truly nothing, throwing around massive purchases, seemingly as if he's not thinking about it at all. But he is - rest assured, he's taking it into consideration, at least, that is, how it will affect your attitude and perception of him.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

On the reserved side. He'd never conduct himself improperly in public, of course. It's out of the question. He cares about proper behavior and public image, and he'd never behave in a vulgar manner.

Even in private, he's certainly one of the ones that struggles with a certain guilt. To some degree, he would feel like you're so innocent and pure that he doesn't want to corrupt you. He goes through stages. First, he'll lie to himself, telling himself that the feelings he has for you are simply protective, platonic, a natural sense of responsibility for you. That becomes more and more difficult to convince himself of, the more excited he becomes around you, the more he finds his eyes drawn to whatever bits of skin are exposed on your body, finding himself drifting off to impure thoughts, trying to push them away. 

Second, once he's forced to acknowledge the true nature of these feelings, he'll simply practice restraint, something he's rather good at in this area. He tries, he really does. He tells himself he can't do something so impure, that it would violate you, that he should be ashamed of himself for it. It becomes more and more and more difficult to restrain himself with time, the feelings rising and the thoughts become more difficult to push away, eventually entertaining the fantasies in his head in an attempt to rid himself of the urge in real life. It doesn't work, no, it only makes the urges worse, and he can't be around you without his body nearly commanding him to do something. And finally, he'll take a different stance entirely, telling himself that, no, it's not going to corrupt you, rather, it's taking care of you. If he really wants to love you, really wants to care for all of your needs, then surely that would include your physical needs, and therefore, really, it would be wrong of him not to help you.

As that shift in viewpoints goes on, he'll become more and more bold, hands lingering just a little longer, face coming just a little closer. It's a slow build of tension, just waiting to boil over. 

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

He understands you're nervous. Again, no matter how experienced you are, somehow in his head he makes it out to be insignificant. Even if you've had other relationships, he convinces himself - and tries to convince you - that they were inadequate, they didn't care about you, not like he does. And he'll treat it as that -- any resistance you put up is nervousness, nothing more, nothing less. He'll reassure you a million times that you won't feel pain, that he'll be gentle, that you'll feel good, even if his size and strength frankly is rather intimidating regardless of experience. He'll keep cooing in your ear, softly whispering reassurance, softly running hands over your skin, holding you in place as the last inch stretches you apart. 

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Infantilization

Again, no matter how smart, experienced, and capable you may be, you're none of those things to him. You're a fragile, little thing. He has to take care of you at all times. It may not be evident at first, and he himself likely doesn't fully realize it, but there is something highly sexual to this for him. Caring for you puts him in a position of dominance, control. It gives him access to your privacy, dressing you up, fingers running over your skin, bathing you, watching your skin glisten. He'll talk to you in this way, too, often softly, remarking every little way in which you need him, and even condescendingly so. He wants you to be his, not only in a sense of love, but of possession.

Oral

Primarily giving. Even on its own, he loves the taste, but the effect it has on you makes it that much better. He loves anything that forces you to depend on him entirely for pleasure, that puts you at his mercy. And he'll be torturous about it too, restraining your arms and legs so you can't control anything, hold your hips down so you can't roll into him, so that only he can determine exactly how much pressure and speed you get. And he won't rush it, no, he'll go so slowly it's torturous, and telling you very simply that if you want any more, you'll have to beg.

Edging

For a variety of reasons. The power trip is as exhilarating as it is pleasurable, but he also loves watching your body writhe. Each little muscle that moves under the flesh when your arms strain against his hand holding your wrists together, the convulsing of your stomach muscles, the way your toes curl and legs spasm and the sweet little whimpers you make when he draws back just short of your high. He's mastered watching your reactions, knowing exactly when to stop, even if you try to mask it. He'll want you to tell him, though, nonetheless, tell him when you're close, if for nothing else but the sense of you obeying his commands.

Collaring

Similarly to infantilization, it gives him something of a sense of control, of possession. He loves seeing his name engraved on it, marking the whole of your being with his ownership. In his somewhat rare moments of roughness, he'll want to pull on it, use it to draw you towards him, in a moment of your defiance, in particular. If you're being mouthy, whiny, disobedient, and you finally make him snap, especially if you try to walk away from him, he'll yank you back with force, pulling you close to him, and when the force of it shuts you up, changes your demeanor, forces you to acknowledge your submission - the satisfaction he'll get from that is incomparable.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

As much as he likes the idea, to him, you're already like a child, naive and fragile. Could your body even handle a pregnancy, a birth? He'd likely try to avoid it, but in the end, if it happened by accident anyway, rest assured you'd be getting the best care of any woman to ever be pregnant in Teyvat, and he'd do everything in his power to ensure you were always comfortable, taking his caretaking to another level, almost never even letting you get up, insisting you stay still and calm and needy.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

He'd be one to pull the "it doesn't hurt you as much as it does me" line, but really, even if he refuses to admit it to his own self, having you bent over his lap is just as much for his own enjoyment as it is a disciplinary measure. It's more humiliating than it is painful -- he'd hold back, afraid of hurting you with his strength, but taking in every little flinch and whimper you make as he brings his hand down on your ass, keeping your head pressed down, kneading at the flesh. He'd insist it's the most effective punishment measure, but you can feel the hard-on digging into your stomach. The worse the behavior, the worse the beating, but every time, after it's over, he'll hold you upright, wiping the tears from your eyes and asking you if you learned you lesson, if you intend to do it again, and smiling when you insist you won't.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Your skin. It's beautiful, and he loves the way that light from the moon and sun look on your naked form. He loves the way your skin feels, soft and delicate, smooth, so paper thin and fragile, and so, so deliciously prone to showing marks from the slightest of harm - a simple smack can make the plump flesh darkened and reddened, the lightest suckling will leave beautiful hickeys all down your neck and chest. There are so many ways to mark his property, to stake a visible claim all over you, it's irresistible.

He also will go out of his way, when picking out all the things he wants you to wear, to find colors that best go with your skin tone, in a contrasting sense - particularly lacey, sheer things that contrast very well, so he can see your soft flesh perfectly defined against the little lace patterns.

#yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere zhongli #tw: noncon #tw: dark content

[stellocchia]

Since I really enjoyed yesterday's stream I decided to do one of my overly long analysis on it

So, here's my analysis of (DSMP LORE) Healthy Competition

Dialogues will be color-coded as usual, so here's what I used: Phil, Wilbur, Ranboo

As always I am incapable of brevity, so everything's under the cut

The stream starts with a conversation between Phil and Wilbur in which Wilbur admits that he hasn't been to visit Phil in a while, which makes Phil's later threat about throwing him out feel that much more ridiculous since Wilbur clearly doesn't really live with him either way...

"Alright, it's got one for Phil, one for Ranboo, and one for Techno. Is that all that live here? Just you three?" "Yep, just us three, just chilling"

The only reason why I'm singling this out is that it was right after the mention of Techno's birthday and Wilbur was pointing at the seats occupied by the 4 members of the Syndicate so it feels slightly weird that Niki wasn't mentioned at all. But also it's technically not a lie, she doesn't live there and she only comes around for the Syndicate meetings.

Another thing to add is that Wilbur did notice the chest Ranboo left for him and consciously decided to ignore it.

"I must admit I've come to you with a bit of a- a bit of a proposition. You're into propositions Phil? Are you a bit of a 'propositions' kinda guy?" "Oh, depends, depends. You- you've had some pretty... let- let's just say, uh- not- not a great track record on propositions that you've had in the past" "Alright... I mean, I'm trying to move past that"

I wonder what exactly Phil is referring to here. Because, like, Wilbur did bad things, don't get me wrong, but what's his track record with "propositions" in particular? Because he isn't talking about "Tommy, let's be the bad guys" here since he doesn't know about that. Is he talking about Wilbur founding L'Manburg? But then again, I don't think Wilbur interpreted it that way. I think that, from Wilbur's reaction, he clearly interpreted it as a jab at him exploding L'Manburg (which is the one thing he's trying to move past) which would be extremely hypocritical from Phil since he did the exact same thing but worse.

Also, I really do think that Wilbur is trying to move forward. He's lonely and he has the lowest possible opinion of himself so it doesn't feel weird that he'd want to move on. He isn't putting the work in it right now and he hasn't really changed, but he does seem to want to (though I think he may not know how).

"He [Quackity] didn't seem afraid of me, which is cool. Not many people- I mean you don't seem afraid of me. You aren't afraid of me, are you Phil?" (little look into Wilbur's mind and his fear of isolation once again. And this is fear of isolation, he's worried that other people are afraid of him and therefore are only waiting for him to step out of line so that all their fears would be confirmed)

"'Cause I'm not afraid of you [Phil]" (bold words for someone who spent who knows how long lying to his dad because of a crippling fear of disappointment...)

"Technoblade spent his entire time taking down the establishments, what he left is, as predicted, a power vacuum for a new establishment to come in" (in case it wasn't obvious, Wilbur is not the biggest fan of anarchy. And he actually got this one criticism spot on, indeed all taking down L'Manburg did was getting 4 new governmental-like structures to sprout in its place)

"Phil, I want to make a burger van" *Phil sighs and walks away* (I'm more sure now that Phil really meant "creating L'Manburg" as Wilbur's bad track record with propositions)

Wilbur repeating 4 times that he has no ulterior motive with the burger van managed to make me think the exact opposite. That said that ulterior motive may just be to create a safe little home for himself and Tommy for all we know honestly. Also, the whole thing with Phil trying to convince his grown-ass kid to go play with the neighbor kid and Wilbur throwing a tantrum in response was hilarious...

"If he's [Ranboo] shit you gotta come help me okay? If he's shit you've gotta come be burger boy with me, okay?" (he still is mistrustful to an extreme and pretty childish admittedly)

"Why is he [Phil] treating me like a kid?! Why is he treating me like a little baby?" (remembering how Wilbur treated Fundy I think it may be a family problem)

Another interesting thing to point out is that Wilbur was openly scared of the spider attacking him here, and fights it off, but he doesn't move away from the explosion later on and he didn't move away from the exploding creepers last stream. Other people already made this connection, but I do think it may be a sort of way to punish himself. Specifically, it's brought up later on that he thinks he got off easy for what he did, so he's using what he hurt others with (explosions) to hurt himself now as a sort of punishment for that. Which is another indication of just how much his stay in Limbo didn't help with his mental health.

"Am I being- is this [Ranboo having both cows and wheat] a setup?" (the paranoia never left)

"Ranboo I'm gonna go out on a limb here: do- do you wanna be friends?" "Su-sure yeah, I don't see why not" (I think that at this point it was still just Wilbur following along with what his dad told him to do and trying to find out more about Ranboo. That does seem to change later down the line)

"And then we decided that it [the 'cookie' outpost] was too much trouble so we kinda just left it" (So we have confirmation that the cookie outpost was abandoned)

"We're not gonna annoy Quackity" "That's good" "We can't annoy- we can't annoy him because we're simply put- we're simply put gonna be making...- I got the real estate! He's giving me the area and we're gonna be making a competing business"

Wilbur says this as if he wasn't perfectly aware that this would annoy the sh*t out of Quackity. As if the point of it wasn't exactly to annoy Quackity. Or well, annoying him isn't the end goal, it's just the means to an end. We don't know the actual end goal (though I think Wilbur still wants to either be let into Las Nevadas or actually instate a rivalry between them as he said, one of the two).

"We [he and Quackity] were a part of the same cabinet during New L'Manburg or whatever" "Cabinet?" "Yeah a cabinet is like-" "Was this- was this with Tubbo?" "Yeah yeah" (...) "So you were part of the old L'Manburg? I didn't know that actually, I thought you were a bit of an independent"

Once again: Wilbur is missing A LOT of knowledge. He wasn't aware that New L'Manburg had a cabinet and he wasn't aware that Ranboo was ever part of the country either. He has a lot of misconceptions about what happened during the time he was dead so it really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that his views on a lot of things are as warped as they are. Wilbur is getting to his conclusions with an incomplete and sometimes wrong set of data.

"Do you dislike anyone Ranboo?" "Not too much I don't think. I mean there are other people I don't, like, agree with what they've done of course, but I think that everyone is just a product of what they've gone through and everything so if you understand that then you understand the person!"

There is nothing inherently wrong with Ranboo's reasoning here. It's true that most people are a result of their environment and, once you understand what they've been through you can understand them better as a person. It's also fine that he personally doesn't want to hold grudges. But that way of thinking isn't applicable to those who have been hurt by others, sure they can reach an understanding, but an understanding of a person doesn't justify shit and doesn't change shit unless that person works towards repairing old broken relationships. It just all sounds like a nice way of thinking about things in theory, but in practice, it just takes away responsibility from those who have wronged others to fix things and moves it to those who have been wronged. (Ranboo isn't advocating for everyone to think that way though, but I know the fandom will).

Either way, they arrive in Las Nevadas and Wilbur talks about how their place doesn't benefit the consumer and puts down 3 signs.

"I've been trying to think of a name for it [his and Tommy's area], I'm thinking about 'Paradise'"

There are two possible reasons for the name that I can think of:

1) It's in reference to Las Nevadas itself and how Las Nevadas is based on Las Vegas, the famous city of sin

2) It could be a reference to Tommy insistently calling Las Nevadas Paradise in the last stream and Wilbur trying to convince him that their place is the true Paradise

Wilbur does decide to make the Burger Van right at the border which really feels like a very obvious provocation. The other thing is that he makes it clear that he wants the van to be red and white which could be a random choice, but really feels like a reference to Tommy (since they are famously his colors) or an imitation of their opposition. Or both considering how much Tommy liked the restaurant of the opposition and the fact that Wilbur is still trying to convince him to stay.

"I'm not very fond of blue" (at this point it's obvious that Wilbur has quite a bit of pent-up animosity against Ghostbur. I wonder if it is because it still feels like people liked the ghost more than him...)

"Like, the Cookie Shop, I don't even know if it was a cookie shop, to begin with, because it was a little... fortified if I'm entirely honest, I realize that now" "Really?" "Yeah did you not see- oh wait- that giant stone structure?" (Ranboo really did fail to realize that the cookie shop was actually a military outpost, huh?)

"See, I like Tubbo. He's strong-headed, he doesn't let people push him around, you know?" (this is both an interesting change in what he thinks of Tubbo if he actually thinks that and further confirmation that Wilbur isn't a fan of people he considers to be 'followers')

"Why do you claim that you're so 'peaceful' and 'neutral' and yet somehow appear in almost every conflict this server's had since I died?" (since I saw people claiming this is manipulation already, just know that it isn't. He's just confused because, admittedly, Ranboo is a confusing guy and Wilbur doesn't really know him at all)

"Ranboo, why did you come to help me?" (...) "And then also I just think, you know... you can, you know- I think- I think you're an alright person, you know? So I wanna- I did kinda wanna get off on a better foot with you then what happened-" "Why?" "Just because I don't really like having the thought that people don't really like me" "Nonononono not the bit about the right foot, the 'why don't you think I'm a bad person'" "Well I mean, I think that you did bad things, but like, I think that you also went through things that made you that way and then I also think that you've changed now (...) but I think that now you've- apparently you've been away long enough that I think that if anyone goes away for that long eventually they'll have a thought about their morality and everything and maybe become a better person because of it"

I know this quote was absurdly long, but it is one of the most interesting conversations of the whole stream and it is really important and it tells us quite a bit as well. For one thing Wilbur was left quite emotional from someone simply admitting that he's an "alright person" and that they think he's capable of changing and this does bring him to open up to Ranboo right after. What Ranboo says to be exact is that anyone would have changed after going through what Wilbur went through and that change could be positive and while I completely disagree with it, it's clearly something that Wilbur needed to hear.

Now as to why I disagree with the notion that 13 years of semi-complete isolation could change anyone for the better should be rather obvious. But if it isn't, well, that's torture to put it simply. Psychological torture. Just like abuse it's one of those things that only cause trauma and a worsening mental health state and we see this with Wilbur because he didn't change, he only became more self-deprecating. Hurting someone doesn't make them become a better person all of a sudden, that's really not how it works. Hurting someone makes them become more traumatized.

"I think I scare people" ( as I said, immediately opening up about his insecurities)

"I think that a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them" (for a bit here Wilbur talks about how he feels like everyone else is just waiting for him to step a foot out of line, which does really show that he's still interpreting all his interactions with people through the lens of his paranoia and self-deprecation, because no one is really interacting with him with that objective in mind)

"Dream's had his comeuppance and I've not" (this seems to be the crux of Wilbur's insecurity. This idea that he got off scot-free for his crimes, the idea that the only difference between him and Dream is the punishment that's been bestowed upon them which, of course, is wrong, but he doesn't know this, because he doesn't actually know why Dream's in prison)

"I've been investing into the wrong areas Ranboo, I've been investing into the wrong people" (This is either a reference to Tommy, to Phil, to Quackity, or to all of them)

"We're kindred man, we get each other" (the reason why he thinks that is because he seems to think that Ranboo has a similar type of paranoia to what Wilbur experience himself and he's not entirely wrong. Ranboo is deathly afraid of conflict and of being disliked so much so that he never stands up for anything in fear of angering others)

Little definition of "neuroticism" for you all since Wilbur kept mentioning it: neuroticism, one of the Big 5 personality traits, is typically defined as a tendency toward anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and other negative feelings.

I'd say it's quite fitting for both characters...

"I feel like life dealt us the same cards and the difference is that you built your trust by showing people your cards whilst I- I keep them close to my chest and I feel like that may be the big difference" (I felt like this was interesting. Especially knowing how much Ranboo actually doesn't share and how much he actually also keeps close to his chest)

They talk about tubbo in general for a bit and about what's been going on the server in general. Ranboo also that he's part of both Snowchester and the arctic commune (mostly the latter though).

"This has been chill, this has been good, I'm excited to show Tommy. What's your opinion on Tommy?" "Oh, he's- he's great. Tommy's awesome" "I agree I agree" "Definitely gone through a lot but I think that it's made him a good person" "Well you seem to think that everyone going through something at least gives them some merit you said" "I mean, yeah. I mean if- if no one- the only really bad people are the ones who are just evil because- just because and they don't have any reason why"

Included the whole thing here because if I stopped at Ranboo saying that Tommy going through trauma is what made him a good person it would have sounded really bad. As things are I think that that was just poor wording on his part and that this mostly goes back to the mentality he expressed before about how people sometimes do bad things because of the environment they're in pushing them and this idea he seems to have that actual hardships (like 13 years in Limbo or whatever he knows about what Tommy has been through) can encourage people to be better which is... sort of naive honestly. Again, trauma isn't a catalyst for the betterment of a person, and any improvement Tommy has made came from his self-reflection, not what he's been through.

After they're done with the van Wilbur brings Ranboo to their competing establishment and asks him to smash the windows, which Ranboo does with no hesitation whatsoever. After that Wilbur proceeds to place down one single block of TNT in a corner and Ranboo starts being a little more hesitant.

"You trust me right?" (I feel like that was a trick question considering how their common paranoia is the thing that Wilbur praised in Ranboo before)

Wilbur hands Ranboo the flint and steel to detonate the piece of TNT which Ranboo does, albeit with some hesitation.

"You passed the test, good job man, you go back to the van (...) Ranboo- Ranboo... I'm proud of you man. You've taken a side, you've proven that you can choose a side"

Quite a few people have already pointed out how similar this scene was to the time Wilbur tested Tommy in season 1 to decide if he was fit to be his right-hand man. In both situations, Wilbur gave someone a chance to cause some destruction against someone on the opposite side. Tommy passed the test by refusing to do so and showing that he was willing to uphold his morals and what he believed in. Ranboo passed the test by doing the exact opposite, by showing that, as much as he talks about how he chooses people and not sides, he's not willing to prove that even when all he would need to do to do so is doing nothing.

And it's an interesting scene to analyze as a parallel to that, but it's also interesting to note that Wilbur knows about Ranboo and Tommy griefing George together. He knows that Tommy was the only one to face any consequences for it (not that exile was actually the consequence for the griefing, but this is from Wilbur's point of view). Now putting this in the context of Wilbur seeing himself in Ranboo and thinking that he himself got off scot-free explains this next part perfectly in my opinion.

It explains why he made sure to leave this sign:

To me at least. This is only a theory honestly, we don't have an actual full explanation. But I do think that Wilbur may feel like the both of them never got the comeuppance they deserved, which is why he did something that's sure to get a reaction from one of the most powerful people on the server. Though considering that he also left 2 diamonds as retribution + a chest with all the materials he picked up it could have also been Wilbur's idea of a bonding moment and he could actually really be proud of Ranboo.

#long post #dream smp #wilbur soot #philza #ranboo #c!wilbur #c!ranboo #dream smp analysis #character analysis #stream analysis #tw self-harm #tw self-deprecation #tw torture mention #tw abuse mention #I'm sure there are plenty of things I missed #but this was all for now

[dreamiesdotcom]

smile (slow spin-off) | p.js, l.mk

Summary: Jisung looks at the camera and smiles, the kind of smile you show when the person you're in love with is looking — and maybe it's the smile you flash when you're silently hoping that said person falls as hard for you as you fell for them.

Word Count: 1.4k

Jisung remembers the first time it happened. He was in a Ferris Wheel, holding onto his notebook for dear life, eyes closed. In front of him was a longtime friend, and said friend was reaching out to hold his hand. When he opened his eyes, they're at the highest point and they're stuck because the ride has broken down.

Panic bubbled in his gut, but then quickly he realizes there's a hand wrapped tightly around his, that the sun is setting and he's got the perfect view. Peach skies around him, safe breeze. Jaemin was smiling.

Jisung remembers how he spent the night writing about the way he told him that everything will be okay — "I'm here, Jisungie. Sorry for asking you to go even if you're scared. It'll be alright, yeah?" — and he loses sleep.

Of course, he was scared. Hell, he was terrified. Even more when it doesn't go away the day after — or the next week, or the next months, then some more. He didn't want to get his heartbroken. In fact, he didn't want it so much that he would've never even thought of catching these kinds of feelings but oh, it was an easy fall. It was everything predictable.

His first love was way too charming to resist, laid down like an open book that held adventures only for those who looked and actually saw. Sentimental. Charismatic. Affectionate. How was Jisung supposed to resist that?

And if Jaemin so openly held his hands out to him, why would Jisung even try?

"But you know what, you really look good dancing with Jisung. I didn't know you could dance like that..." Jaemin drawls out one of the many times they held sleepovers at Renjun's place. He keens at the mention of his name, but he makes the mistake of looking at your direction — Jaemin smiled at you then. And he was shifting closer.

You only sighed and told him off, warning him "Stop moving or I'll fall!"

And that was normal, just another typical day — Jaemin's taking pictures of everyone but mostly you. He's smiling fondly, just like all the other times he spent with his friends.

Jisung doesn't know why, but it haunts him, Jaemin's reply to your warning — "Promise? You'll fall?"

It feels like if we stayed the way we are, just the two of us... we could've been way more, Jisung roughly scribbled in his notebook. He recalls how flashbacks flooded his mind as he writes the next line — If you knew, would you try?

Jaemin calls his name and snaps a picture. He smiles.

Jisung clearly remembers how he spent his first love wondering when Jaemin would realize that he's in love with someone else.

###

"Sometimes I get worried about Jaemin hyung. The two of them, they never seem to get the right timing," Chenle sighs the next day as they walk home together, peeking from behind the cracks of Jisung's mask.

The other boy stops on his tracks and looks at him dead in the eye, "Then I remember you. How many times are you gonna go break your heart?"

"I don't know," he quickly replies, voice brittle and already cracking. He sees no use in lying to one of his best friends, so he tilts his head and smiles, "How many times can your heart break for the person you love?"

Chenle snickers and spreads his arms out for a hug. Only then does Jisung break down.

The fall to his best friend's arms seemed like a slow motion, but then as he catches him and his tears, everything seemed to speed up and crash. They stay like that for several minutes, then Jisung decides to take the other way home; the one that leads him to the studio.

The only reason Jisung's first love isn't counted in the times he fell in love was because he never fell; it felt like a connection, immediate and instantaneous. He adored dancing without much fuss — there was no struggle. There was no fight. He loved this thing entirely with his whole being from the moment he was born, and then he lived for it. He breathed it like air, loved it like he'd break for it — because he will, heaven knows that. He didn't fall in love with dancing — he ran to it and let it wrap him in its hold.

And that's what he does right now. He lets his heart drop and break and he dances, he dances until his feet burn and hurts so much that it makes him forget the ache in his chest. It works.

A little.

He convinces himself that it does but then —

Flashes of Na Jaemin's hopeless smile. His giggles. His antics. His eyes.

It doesn't work.

###

He's moved on, at least he thinks, but someway somehow, it seems like first love really does hit different than all the others. There are some days when Jaemin still disturbs his memory, and he thinks of what could've been and what they could've had.

Those times don't come as frequent these days, but it only takes Jisung two months to realize that it's because he's been thinking of another person. The one that creates beats for Jisung to dance to, and then watches him with intense admiration and a smile that has become the subject of most of his dreams.

Jisung met Mark on a busy day, his stress level high up, his heart ravaged. It's for some kind of showcase he was a part of — if he knew he'd have to work with strangers, he really wouldn't have participated — and the snowball begins from there. They knew each other. They became friends. They grew pretty close, and that was fine.

That would've been fine.

Only that Jisung tends to take more than he should've and even more than what he can handle.

Now, that was not fine.

But right now Mark looks real pretty stargazing beside him. He looks like something straight out of a dream, the kind of trance that would make you smile. He'd be the heart-fluttering kind, one of the feelings Jisung's always been scared of, but he'd be the sensation he'd chase.

The way he grins is damning, "You did well. Up that stage, you looked like you're competing with literal stars."

Right now, Jisung thinks, nothing this good could be that bad. If it was, he knew that it's the kind that he won't regret.

It's extremely out of character and his cheeks flush crimson as he stumbles over his words, but he dares try — "Well, did I win, hyung?"

Mark stiffens at that, never expecting such daring words from the younger who just laughed sheepishly. His heart does this dumb thing where it beats loudly against his chest, his hands setting down his guitar and opting to reach for his camera. Mark opens it and stares at random photos as a diversion, nervously chuckling.

Jisung understands that feeling well. Although he only fell in love twice in this life, having those two be the most heart-fluttering people he knew just really tends to drive him a little incomprehensible, gives him a preview of how weird the things you can feel when you fall. He doesn't tease him for a similar blush on his cheeks, or the way he keeps on snapping the same picture of the grass. Truth is, his heart is also weakly thumping against his chest. He knew that it was never a good sign, but he can't even deny it now. He knew where it would go.

"The stars stood no chance against you," he drawls out, the sound of a shutter at the end. Jisung turns to his direction, and then holds his breath. That laugh. That damned laugh — the things Jisung does just to hear that.

Mark counts down from three to one, "Jisung-ah, pose for me?"

So Jisung looks at the camera and smiles, the kind of smile you show when the person you're in love with is looking — and maybe it's the smile you flash when you're silently hoping that said person falls as hard for you as you fell for them.

He hears again a count down to three, Mark's lovely peal of laughter, and then bright light strikes. Jisung blindly remembers that they lost themselves to giggles after that picture, and that they were happy, and then everything was unclear.

And maybe he remembers that after everything, later that night when he talked about dreams and the stars, between those hazy moments and the tune of the other's guitar, he hoped that Mark would finally realize that he loved Jisung.

#nct dream #jisung #mark #jisung x mark #member x member #nct dream imagines #nct dream oneshots #slow spin-off #yellow tag 💛

[dangan-happy]

(HARK! That sounds like an ask that has just come in!) (TW: s//cide mention, self-hatred)

To Taka and Mondo,

Yes, Paul's back at it again with his millions of problems. I just constantly feel like my brother's suicide was my fault, and I should've died instead of him because my fat selfish ass was too busy worrying about my own life to care about his, and I hate myself even more now because I could've done something, then maybe he'd still be here and things would be better. I feel like I'm just an annoying, irrelevant, useless waste of space and I should just go and get hit by a damn car so no one has to suffer with me ever again. And trust me, I'm trying to stop thinking like that, I really am, it's just really hard to do that when my friend and even my own dad won't talk to me. I understand if I'm just overreacting at this point, I just want this bloody nightmare to end... if I'm not being too much of a bother, can I get a hug?

Listen here Paul, it’s okay to feel upset about everything that’s been so unfortunately been going on in your life as of late, especially about your brother. Feeling all that grief, and all that regret is absolutely normal. You’ve been put through an awful lot recently, and you really don’t seem to be overreacting at all. Although, I don’t think any of this was your fault. With all honesty, I doubt that you could’ve seen what was going on with your brother. Those things are a lot of the times, extremely hidden, as much as I hate to admit this myself. You weren’t being anywhere close to selfish with worrying about yourself then, and even now alright? It’s all too natural to feel otherwise, but it’s one of the more true things to say here.

I know, it hurts, it really really must hurt to go through all of this, to be forced to reflect and look back. The past is the past and all you can do is look back and see what you could have done more but... it’s over. Regret is such an awful feeling to have, but it’s one that you have to face and... that’s such a horrible thing... Bro should know more than anyone about all of this. He’s been through nearly the same thing as you, almost exactly the same exact stress, and I know he understands, he should understand more than anyone! To go through all of this pain, all of this sadness, all this stress, and still attempt to keep your head up high, no matter how difficult it may be or no matter how much your thoughts try and keep you down is enough. It’s simply enough that you try Paul. You make an effort to push through and get out of your toxic mindset, to try and get support. That’s more than I could ever ask, and I know your bro must be really proud of you for trying right now.

Alright, if a hug is what you ask for to help yourself, then go ahead. You’re not being anywhere near a bother, for asking this alright? It’s our duties as the members of the Danganronpa cast here to help out, and we shall do just that as requested!

~

The loss of your brother…I know exactly what you’re feeling, that shit really takes a big swing at your gut, take it from someone that lost his big bro. Dammit…I feel as if anything I say can be viewed as hypocritical because I know what you mean. Like you’re the one that should’ve received the consequence of losing life instead of them…

You recognize that you shouldn’t think like that, it’s something that not everyone can do. Of course it’s not easy to do. That’s…not something you can just get over in a day or so. That shit takes time. You aren’t overreacting dude, you’re going through a lot of crap right now. Of course your mind is going to be in a negative state, shit, I wish I could pull you right out of it so you wouldn’t have to suffer with these thoughts.

The horrible part about suicide is that once someone has made their mind up to go through with it, they aren’t willing to stop for anything. And a lot of people are good at hiding it, shit…it’s really hard to detect depending on the person too. Worrying about yourself isn’t wrong, you aren’t selfish for that, there’s no way you could’ve predicted what your brother would do. Even so, it’s painful, I get that.

Hall monitor bro’s got a point, I do know more than anyone about this kind of problem, so you’re not alone Paul. Taka and I are here for you, so are the rest of our friends. You’ll never be alone, even if you feel like you are, you can always come to us if you need a hug or anything!

Right now, I’ll support the hell out of you with pushing out of this bad mindset you have currently. So do me a favor Paul, come to us when you need anything motivational. We’ll always be happy to help. Now for that hug, I don’t mind at all so bring it in dude!

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #kiyotaka ishimaru #mod keebs #mondo owada #mod 11037 #tw suicide #suicide mention

[zi-i-think]

9 | The Miraculous Bastards

Pairing: Zuko x Ama (OC)

Word Count: 6100+

.☽☼☾.

~ Ama ☾ ~

          Around the dinner table, we all chatted happily. After all it's been years since we were together like this. And this time we had some new friends. I sat with my cheek resting on my palm while I watched Aang and Katara tell the story of their engagement again.

         "Honestly, I don't know what came over him. I was so focused on the sun setting that I didn't even hear him ask the first time." Katara laughed, taking another sip from her wine.

         "I thought her being quiet was a no at first." Aang was finishing. "She practically had to threaten me to repeat the question. And when I did she instantly said yes." He and Katara shared a loving look.

         "Threaten you with what? No kisses?" Toph taunted them. Everyone laughed as Aang blushed.

         "N-no." Aang claimed.

         "Then what?" Toph pushed. Based on the deep red blush on Aang and Katara's cheeks. It must be something a little... different than kissed.

         "Anyways." Katara avoided the question, bringing the red wine to her lips again. "Before we all retire to bed. I think Ama had something to announce."

         Everyone's eyes immediately turned to me. Gosh, I already regret telling my sister that I wanted to come out to everyone at once. "One moment." I held up my pointer finger as I chugged the rest of my wine while the others chuckled at me. The light burning in my throat made me clear my throat, as I set my glass down.

         "Here goes nothing." I mumbled to myself and started picking at my nails. "Okay, well as everyone knows, there were a good two years where I-"

         "Disappeared?"

         "Went dark?"

         "Didn't visit?"

         Some of the others finished. My jaw dropped in an offended way as the table erupted in more laughter. "You know what, yes." I admitted. "And in those two years, I sort of fell in love."

         "That's wonderful."

         "What's his name?"

         "Where is he?"

         "How great."

         The table erupted in chatter again. "Okay, you all aren't really helping me with my nerves right now." There was a slight shake in my voice as I spoke and they all stopped talking immediately.

         "I think I get it." Ty Lee said, mainly to herself. I wondered if she actually knew what I was saying and gave the peppy girl a curious look. "You're pregnant!"

         "Ama, really!?"

         "Congratulations!"

         "I'm going to be an aunt!?"

         "No!" I shouted, rapidly shaking my head and my arms out in front of me. "It's been a year since I've last seen them. Besides, it was never even a possibility. Cause- well." I looked around the table. They all either had confused or curious expressions.

         My eyes landed on Zuko, he was leaning back into his chair. Arms crossed over his chest as he waited to hear me speak. His soft golden eyes bore into mine. Immediately, I felt calmer and just blurted it out. "The whole point of me saying all of this is because I'm bisexual and Mulan was a woman who I was very much in love with!"

         "Oh, that's old news!" Toph immediately exclaimed before anyone could say anything.

         "Old news? I just told Katara and Sokka this morning. They were the only ones who knew!" I pointed out, motioning to my siblings.

         "Oh." Toph realized. "Then I guess it's just old news to me. You're heartbeat always sped up whenever you saw an attractive woman." My face reddened and I buried my face in my hands.

         "Moving on. I think that's great, Ama." Suki said, looking at me from beside Sokka, who sat between the two of us.

         "Yeah. We're all very happy for your new found understanding of yourself." Ty Lee grinned at me. "Or would it be an old understanding of yourself? Either way, your aura is very purple and bright!"

         "So, none of you think differently of me?" I wondered, peeking through my fingers.

         "Of course not. You're still the same Ama." Zuko spoke up, giving me a comforting smile. He didn't speak all that much the entire night.

         "So what happened?" Ty Lee's curious voice wondered.

         I shrugged, a somber expression on my face. "She got really sick one day and died." Some voices expressed words of condolences quietly. "It's been hard, but everything happens for a reason, I guess." I began to feel extremely uncomfortable in the dismal atmosphere. The quiet was eating me up.

         "Well," Katara spoke up, standing from her seat. I am so thankful for her ability to see when I'm uncomfortable. "it's been a long day and I'm exhausted." Aang stood up also, ready to go to bed as well.

         "So am I." Ty Lee jumped from her seat. "Who knew traveling could suck all the energy out of a person." Slowly everyone left the table.

         "Don't forget ladies, tomorrow is the bridal shower." Katara announced quickly before entering her room.

         "Good job, sis." Sokka pulled me into him for a side hug. "The execution was a little rocky, but I'm proud of you for finally overcoming your fear."

         "Sokka, your breath reeks of wine." I laughed, shoving him off me. "Get to bed."

         "Mhh. Bed sounds good." Sokka mumbled happily then gave a sly look at Suki. "What do you think, Suki? Bed? Good?"

         The girl smirked back at him seductively. "I think bed sounds great."

         "Eww." I said in disgust. "You're going to make me throw up."

         "Aww, you're just jealous you don't have someone in your bed tonight." Sokka teased.

         "Yeah, it's totally because of that and not because your bedroom is right next to me." I raised my eyebrows and entered my bedroom. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. Finally. I can rest easy, I hope. The walls here are thick, right?

.☽☼☾.

         I woke up early with a list of things to do. But of course, everyone needs  their breakfast. Sitting at the dining table with a bread bun in my hands and a book in another.

         "Watcha reading?" A familiar but still strange voice asked. Turning my head, I saw the one and only Zuko. I gave him a smile as he sat down, taking a bread bun from one of the bowls in the center.

         "A romance novel." I replied, keeping my eyes on my book. "A princess falls in love with the stable boy. But he gets drafted into the war. The princess then disguises herself as a man in order to protect him."

         "Sounds interesting." He responded. "I'll need to borrow it when you're done."

         Memorising the page I was on, I set down the book. "So, how've you been?" I asked.

         "I've been good. Bored, mainly." He shrugged. "You know. When I became Fire Lord, I was never told how much of my time would be spent with paperwork in front of me."

         "That's rough, buddy." I quoted something he'd said a long time ago, cracking a smile from him. "How's Kiyi and your mom?"

         "Good. Kiyi turned 12 a few weeks ago. And mom still asks about you." He responded with a warm smile.

         "Did they get the bracelets I sent? I know it wasn't anything fancy, but-"

         "They loved it." Zuko interrupted me. "Kiyi wears it almost everyday, actually."

         "That's good to hear." I said, taking another sip from my tea. I grimaced at how cold it got from being neglected. I looked over at Zuko with an innocent look. "Hey do you mind-?"

         Already one step ahead of me, Zuko took my tea cup, heating it up with his hands. Giving him a questioning look, Zuko just chuckled. "You're a very predictable person, you know."

         "Well, thank you." I said, taking the cup back from him and sipping it. "So, did you boys plan anything for today?"

         "Aang wants to go to the market." He answered. "Hey, what are some foods you recommend?"

         "Depends." I started, pointing at nothing in particular. "Auntie Ashuna has a booth selling seal jerky. I find that to be pretty filling. There's also a booth selling different sea foods, but fried. Honestly, it's one of my new favorite snacks."

         "Anything sweet?" He asked more specifically.

         "Oh. Auntie Nalle has an entire bakery. She sells cakes, tarts, and all sorts of things." I listed, my mouth already watering at the thought. "She's going to be at the bridal shower, though, so Uncle Perlu will be running everything. Word of advice, don't stare at him. He'll write your name on a piece of paper and burn it."

         He chuckled and looked a bit confused. "Should I ask?"

         "It's kinda my fault." I recalled how I told my uncle that burning the name of a person was a great way of both detaching from them and wishing ill-will on them. "Anyways, I gotta get going. Bridesmaid duties." I stated, standing up from my seat.

         "Have fun." He said as I was picking up my book, placing it under my arm to pick up my dirty dishes.

         "You know me." I smirked. "I'll always have fun."

         "Can you do me a favor?" He asked, just before I left. I nodded, for him to continue. "Keep an eye on Suh for me? I know she's a very extroverted person, but she can feel out of place easily."

         "You can count on me mister Fire Lord." I assured him. He gave me a thankful smile as I actually felt the dining room this time.

         My smile fell as I left. The mention of Suh made me feel... uneasy. I wanted to like her, I really did. But there was something about her that made me wary. I don't know what it is. But I will.

.☽☼☾.

         "What a beautiful knife set." Katara opened the last gift. "Thank you, Mai." The Fire Nation woman nodded a 'you're welcome' while she grabbed a biscuit. Katara turned to look at me, as she set the gift to the side. "I didn't think I could get so many plate sets."

         "You'll never need to worry about not having one." We chuckled together.

         "It was a great idea to host the bridal shower here in the green house." Katara looked around at the place. Vines hung from pots, trees grew strongly, and flowers of all colors filled the clear paneled house. "It sets the perfect atmosphere and it's gorgeous."

         "I know." I agreed. "Plus I think the two of us needed a break of the snow."

         "Oh, please. You were in here like everyday up until two weeks ago." She mocked me, starting to fold up the gift bags.

         "Yeah, some of the bridesmaid duties I were procrastinating on had finally caught up to me." I recalled, looking across the long table I noticed Suh chatting Mai's ear off. The poor girl looked so bored and annoyed.

         Remembering my promise to Zuko earlier, I stood up and went over. "Hey, Mai. Katara could use some help organizing the gifts."

         "Finally. Something to do." She said dryly and left her seat.

         I took Mai's seat and smiled at Suh. "So, how are you liking the South Pole?" I started conversation.

         "Oh, it's beautiful." She awed. "I always believed that the Southern Water Tribe was underdeveloped and unstable, but I was obviously wrong."

         I tried not to feel offended by her little comment. After all, it wasn't like the Fire Nation was taught a whole lot about the other nations. "You should go to the market one day, you can get a taste of some more Water Tribe culture and food!" I suggested. "Zuko told me that he and the boys were going to be there today?"

         "Oh. I didn't know that you and Zu-bear talked today?" It took everything in me not to burst out laughing at the nickname. Zu-bear? Zuko can't possibly like that. "But, anyways. I guess I'll try to go to the market."

         "So, how did you and Zuko meet?" I inquired.

         "Oh, it was nothing special." She swatted the air with one hand and grabbed her tea with the other. "The Fire Nation Council introduced Zuko to lots of women. We went on a couple dates, and just clicked. With all the competition I really didn't think Zuko would want to be with me, but well. Here we are."

         "What does the Council have to do with Zuko's love life?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

         "Zuko, isn't exactly getting younger. The Fire Nation is going to need an heir." She spoke like it was common knowledge. "The Council just made sure that all the women eligible to him are fit to be Fire Queen."

         It made sense. After all, the royal life is a lot more pristine than I know. The year I spent living in the palace had me following proper etiquette. And that was just scratching the surface. Still, having a group of people limiting who you'd spend the rest of your life with sounded terrible.

         "And what did you do before you met Zuko. Were you a diplomat of some sort, academic...?"

         "My father was a general in the war. I never really did anything." She answered. The answer was way too simple for my liking. Especially since she likes to talk. "I hope I don't sound rude, but I'd rather hear more about you." She grinned. "Zuko never really talked about you guys."

         I was taken aback by that. He never talked about us? Why? Is he ashamed? No. Why would he? "Um, well. What would you like to know?"

         "Everything!" She exclaimed excitedly. Her hands intertwined and a hopeful look glimmered in her eye. And I'm starting to see why Mai said she was unbearable.

.☽☼☾.

         I rubbed by my temples slowly, stepping inside the palace with Katara behind me. "Remind me to keep Auntie Vik away from the alcohol at your wedding." I grumbled.

         "I'll remember." Katara grumbled back. "It's been a long day. Oh, you know what would be nice? A relaxing time at the hot springs."

         "That sounds like heaven." I moaned at the thought. "You think the others would want to join us? The sun hasn't even set yet, we have time."

         "That's a good idea, actually." Katara grinned. "I'll go get everyone."

         "And I'll go get the wine!" I exclaimed, sharply turning to the wine cellar.

         And just like that, the second evening with my friends started. With wine in our hands and the hot, soothing water up to our chest.

         "...I was so close to using my trusty boomerang on the guy. I mean, who does he think he is?" Sokka complained about some shop owned from the market.

         "For not lowering the price by a couple copper pieces?" Haru chuckled.

         "I'd already spent most of my money on food. And that dress was perfect for Suki." He grumbled. Suki shook her head, but still smiled at her goofy boyfriend, leaning into him.

         "How was the bridal shower?" Aang turned the attention to the girls.

         "It went well. And now we have a lot of plates to use." Katara grinned, making me chuckle.

         "Props to Ama, though. The girl was hella busy both before and after the event." Toph brought the attention on to me.

         "Oh, please it was nothing." I smirked and swatted my hand. "But the chef was so rude. He told me that the dishes I requested were 'too complicated.' I met with him last week to go over everything and he didn't say a word about it."

         "I saw the way he talked to you." Suki spoke up. "He was way too bold."

         "Seriously though, Katara. You better put as much effort as I am right now when I get married cause I've been busting my ass." I grumbled at my sister.

         "Yeah well I won't procrastinate like you did." Katara crossed her arms over her chest and had a fun-loving smile.

         "That's assuming that Ama will even get married." Sokka quipped, earning some snickers while my jaw dropped. "Hey, I just realized. Katara is getting married before Ama. Even though Ama is older and still single. Ha! Good luck sis."

         "Sokka!" Katara scolded while I actually bent the hot water and splashed his face.

         "Ow! Ow! Ama!" He hissed and with his eyes closed, he reached out of the water, using his hand to try and find his towel.

         "Don't worry, Ama. You'll find someone." Ty Lee assure me.

         "What is with you all?" I chuckled, running my fingers through my hair. "I am perfectly content with my life right now. I got my friends, my family. What more do I need? Besides, I'm not worried about that. After all, I was able to pull in the FIre Lord."

         Zuko just shrugged with a cocky smirk and sipped his wine. "Hey, you got good taste I'll tell you that." Suh looked a bit uncomfortable at the mention of Zuko's relationship with me and pressed closer onto him.

         "Minus Jet." Aang huffed a laugh.

         "And we never got to meet Mulan. So we don't even know what she's like." Suki added.

         "You know it would have been nice to meet her, Sis." Sokka said with his chin up in an offended way.

         "It wasn't that I didn't want to," I threw my hands up and some water splashed from my hand. "You know, the world isn't exactly all that accepting of same-sex couples."

         "I was actually really surprised when I found that out." Aang commented. "The Air Nomads embraced everyone's differences, no matter who they loved."

         "Fire Lord Sozin decreed that same-sex relationships be made criminal when he came into power." Zuko said. "I'm still in the process of legalizing it. There's been quite a bit of pushback by the Fire Sages."

         "Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows as I started to feel frustrated. "It makes so sense. The Water Tribe prefers for you to keep it to themselves, the Fire Nation will throw you in prison, and the Earth Kingdom families will kick you out."

         "Is that what happened to Mulan?" Katara wondered softly.

         "Was she kicked out? Yeah." I said somberly. "She was 13."

         "I had a neighbor that was gay." Haru spoke. "He had to leave town because his farm hept getting robbed and received death threats."

         "So now you can all see why I didn't tell you guys anything?" I raised my eyebrows at them all.

         "Yeah, snowcone." Toph punched my shoulder. "But don't do that ever again."

         "Yeah, yeah. You can't read, I get it." I chuckled as I rubbed the spot she just punched.

         "Ama, I promise you that I will reverse what my great grandfather has done." Zuko assured me. "No one deserves to be punished for who they love."

         I broke into a huge grin. "You're all the best I'm going to cry." My hand went up to my eyes, my thumb wiping the tears that started to drip.

         "We're just glad you could confide in us." Katara swam over, embracing me in a hug.

         "Yeah! You can always trust us." Ty Lee also swam over to embrace me.

         "Okay, new conversation before I start bawling my eyes out." I laughed, the two girls left the hug.

         "Ama, so emotional." Sokka shook his head in fake disappointment.

         "Says the guy who cried when Auntie Ashuna ran out of seal jerky." I retorted. Sokka grumbled to himself as he sank further into the water.

         "You know, I'm kind of curious to know about Toph and Kanto." Katara smirked at Toph.

         The earthbender smirked smugly, taping a sip from her wine. "All you guys need to know is that we're together and he'll be at the wedding."

.☽☼☾.

         Another day had passed and we were one day closer to the wedding. Today was chock full of wedding planning, or at least the finishing touches. Katara and Aang needed to confirm the centerpieces and the decorators were going over how to decorate the venue.

         We spent hours there. And it wasn't the stressful atmosphere or the pre pre-wedding jitters Katara was having that made me feel uncomfortable. It was Suh. As best man, Zuko came along to help Aang out. And Suh never even left his side.

         She kept talking out of turn, suggesting things that no one asked for, and was way too loud. "What about roses as the centerpiece instead of the panda lilies? They're so much prettier." and "Wouldn't blue be a more 'Water Tribe-y' than yellow?"

         I had to constantly remind her that it was both Aang and Katara's wedding and that they wanted to incorporate both of their cultures into it. But it never sank into her head. She'd apologize and do it all over again.

         "I can't stand that woman." I complained to the girls. We all, minus Suh, sat in Katara's room as Ty Lee tried different wedding hair styles on her. "Honestly, I don't know what Zuko sees in her."

         "I told you." Mai said dryly. Yeah, I need to learn to listen to Mai more.

         "Oh, she wasn't that bad." Katara argued with her sweet tone. "Sure she had a lot to say, but you can't hold that against her."

         "Of course I can. She was being incredibly inconsiderate of our culture and us." I justified. I didn't know how Katara was being okay with this. I would have thought she'd be on the same page as me since it was her wedding.

         "Ama, do you think you're maybe over exaggerating?" Suki suggested.

         "Why would I exaggerate?" I huffed.

         "Maybe 'cause you still have feelings for Zuko. And she's kinda engaged to him." Toph said without missing a beat.

         "Will you all stop with that." I grumbled in annoyance. "I told you. I see Zuko as nothing more than a friend. My problem is with Suh."

         "You're problem is with Suh because you like Zuko." Toph was blunt and spoke without holding back. She took pleasure in teasing others, but there was always truth in what she said. Still. She's human and can be wrong.

         "You guys simply haven't spent enough time with Suh." Mai came to my defence. "I've had to put up with her for months. The woman has no filter."

         Suki giggled from beside me and shook her head. "How convenient that Zuko's two exes are the only ones who don't like Suh." Mai just rolled her eyes and I scoffed. There was no way I'd be able to convince them anything. Not if they thought I still had feelings for my ex.

         "I think Suh is nice." Ty Lee spoke up, tying the last band into Katara's hair. "How's this one?" She asked the bride. Katara was the focus of everyone's attention now.

         She took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. Her dark hair was put into a loose braid and then swirled into a low bun to look like a flower. The strands by her face were tied with blue string all the way to the end and pinned to the back of her head.

         "It's beautiful, Ty Lee." Katara complimented after giving it some thought. "It just feels too... posh. And all of the pins are poking at my scalp." She grimaced at the pain

         "Hmm." Ty Lee placed a finger on her chin, thinking about how she could restyle it. "I guess we could try a half-up, half-down style." The girl started to unpin Katara's hair.

         "Katara, shouldn't your hair be a bit more on the 'posh' side?" I asked her, stepping up beside to her to assist Ty Lee in removing the pins. "I mean, this is the biggest wedding of the year. Maybe of the generation."

         "Oh please." Katara snickered, laced with nerves. "Just because I'm marrying the Avatar doesn't mean everything has to be so elegant. There's only 300 people."

         Ty Lee and I shared an amused look. 'Only 300 people.' The vast majority of it were our family and friends, a few others from the tribe. But each nation was also sending reporters to cover the Avatar's big wedding.

         Katara didn't want it to be as big of a deal as it was. But one thing led to another while planning, and it became a big deal. She wasn't complaining, though. Because at the end of the day there was only one thing that mattered to her. That she was marrying Aang.

         Taking out the last pin from her hair, I looked at my sister. She was zoned out, stared at herself in the mirror with a soft smile. The kind that only a person in love would have. No doubt she was thinking about her loverboy.

         "Okay, so what if I tied beads on the top and..." Ty Lee began explaining another style to try, using her hands to run through Katara's hair. I sat back down on the floor next to my sister, seeing how her smile grew at Ty Lee's description.

.☽☼☾.

         The sun had barely touched the horizon. The sky was painted in hues of orange and yellow. The blue sea looked dark except to the line where the sun's light touched it.

         I took in the sight. My back rested against a large oak tree on a cliff. My left leg was out in front of my while my right leg was close to my chest as I rested my arm on it.

         So far, my journey was filled with knowledge and laughter. It was odd, though. I always had my siblings with me. They were my source of joy. Then it was Zuko. And for the past three years, it was myself.

         I still saw my friends. In fact, just a week prior, I visited Toph at her metalbending academy. I rarely saw Zuko. Maybe just twice since our breakup. Once when I passed through the Fire Nation and once at Yu Dao. Apparently, he and Aang were planning on creating a whole new nation. The United Republic of Nations.

         It was an interesting plan. Using the land that was previously Fire Nation colonies to create an entire independent state. One where benders and nonbenders of all nations could live together.

         That was a few months ago. And since then, the United Republic has made advances. Last I heard, there was a vast majority of the population for it. I had no doubt that my friends would be successful in their project.

         I sort of felt like a leaf, I guess. Drifting from place to place. Not that I was complaining. It was nice, learning new things and meeting new people. There was just something missing from my life. And I didn't know what.

         I didn't let myself dwell on that. I knew I'd find this missing thing eventually. But at this moment, I just let myself be content. An apple in my hand and some stupid song stuck in my head.

         Spirits, it was on repeat. It was a song I heard that afternoon from an old man in the town. "When I think of that painter, that beautiful painter. My heart almost bursts and I spin on the spot." It was a beautiful song with a gorgeous melody. But it wouldn't leave my head.

         "Hello there, beautiful." A raspy voice interrupted my tranquil evening. "What's a girl like you doing out here all alone."

         I craned my neck to see who it was. No one I knew. Just some man, perhaps a few years older than me, leaning smugly against the tree. His black hair slicked back with some sort of gel. His layered style was made up of dark clothing. But the most important part of his whole getup was the willow leaf saber in his hand.

         Or in simpler terms. The man literally came up to me with a whole weapon out. I was an unarmed girl just enjoying the sunset. He was a thug.

         During the war, it was the Fire Nation soldiers that caused problems in each city. That spot was now filled by criminals and gangs. They bullied citizens for money or food or anything they could get their hands on. I was lucky enough not to come across any of them. Until now.

         I remained emotionless and just took a bite from my apple. "You know it's dangerous 'round these parts. You never know who might try to rob you. Especially a pretty girl like yourself." I almost laughed at how this man was trying to sound intimidating.

         "Thank you, for letting me know." I replied, covering my mouth with the back of my hand while I chewed. I looked back at the sunset, trying to ignore his staring.

         He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Nice bag." He pointed at my colorful satchel with his sword. "What's in it?"

         "Alot, actually. Some copper pieces, some gold, some silver. Passport, hair ties, good stuff like that." I egged him on and looked up at him. He had a mischievous smirk, thinking this would be an easy steal. "You can look through it if you'd like. But you won't find your dignity."

         His smirk disappeared and he sneered at me. "You taunting me?" He pointed his sword at my chest.

         I sighed with annoyance and got off the floor with my hands on my hips, his sword still pointed at me. "Look man, I was just trying to enjoy the sunset until you got here."

         "Funny, I just started to enjoy my evening when I saw you here." He chuckled.

         I didn't know how long he wanted to keep bickering like this. And I just wanted to get back to the sunset. So I snapped open my waterskin and bent the water in it to spash it against his sword and then froze it against the tree.

         The man's eyes widened and tried to pull the sword out, despite it not budging. "Okay, buddy. It's been wonderful being threatened by you, but as you can see I will be winning any sort of fight against you. So, if you just agree to leave me alone, I'll unfreeze you little toy." I tried to strike a deal.

         But my self-assured ass didn't see the man behind me. Pulling on my hair, he drew me close to him and placed a dagger against my throat. "Nuh uh, sweetie." His gross, hot breath was on my ear. "You see, we never travel alone."

         Three other thugs came out of hiding. Each of them with disgusting smiles. One of them grabbed my bag and looked through it. "Ha!" She exclaimed, pulling out my bag of coins.

         "Jackpot!" One of the others jumped happily.

         "Now if you'll just unfreeze my friend's sword, we'll be on our way. And you'll be unharmed." The man who held me growled.

         "Gladly." I responded and bent the frozen water off and struck the man holding me in the face. Effectively getting him to remove his grip on me.

         The others sprung into action. Mister 'hello there, beautiful' ran over to me, swinging his sword. I dodged it by side stepping to my right, and used my water to, this time, push him onto the ground and froze his hand on the ground.

         The woman stomped her foot on the ground, and the earth beneath me rumbled. I jumped back, avoiding the sharp earth that sprung from the ground. I took my water and used the waterwhip to slap her harshly, throwing her onto a tree.

         But while I did that, I didn't notice that the other guy bent the earth, holding my feet to the ground tightly. It felt like the earth was cutting off the blood circulation to my feet. In shock I looked down. But when I looked back up the man was sprinting, sword in hand and ready to strike me through.

         I called my water to me, but just before I could do anything, a new person entered the fight. A woman. All I saw was a blur of red hair as she tackled the man to the ground. Rolling back up, she lunged again. Punching the man's throat. His hand went up to where she injured him, like he couldn't breath.

         The earth around my feet disappeared back into the ground. I was free, but I was right when I speculated that the rock was cutting of my circulation. It was like tiny needles were continuously poking at my feet, and I fell back into a seated position.

         The man that held me before was back up and held his dagger tightly in his hand. Swinging it across his body to attack the woman. The mysterious redhead jumped back, grabbing his arm to hold him in place as she then kicking his knee in. The man, with a backwards leg cried out in excruciating pain.

         One of the other, that hadn't done anything yet, dropped the bag of money on the ground. He unsheathed his sword and walked over to the woman. She in turn, unsheathed her own sword, a katana to be exact, and the two pieces of metal collided.

         Using his own strength against him, she moved to the side and he fell forward slightly. And while he was hunched over, the woman slammed the butt of her katana against the back of his head, making him fall over in extreme pain.

         The woman I fought earlier was also back up, bending two pieces of rock beside her, she threw it at the redhead. She dodged both as she ran towards her before sliding beside the woman. And when she jumped back up she kicked the back of her knee, getting the attacker to fall on her knees.

         The redhead pointed her katana at the woman's head. And everyone paused. Well, all of them were maimed pretty badly. "You thugs need to watch it." The redhead's voice spewed venom when she spoke to them. "If you ever try to cause pain to another innocent person, I won't be as merciful."

         The ones that were capable nodded in understanding. Satisfied, the mystery woman sheathed her katana walked over to me. With some feeling of my feet I stood up to greet and thank her. But I guess there wasn't as much feeling as I thought and my body started to lean forward. Luckily, the woman was right in front of me and caught me before I could fall any further.

         "Woah there." She laughed lightly, helping me stand by wrapping her arm around my waist and allowing for me to lean on her. "Are you okay."

         "Perfect." I chuckled at myself. "Thank you, so much." I then looked back over to the group of criminals. "That was incredible. The way you moved and everything."

         The woman shrugged. "It was nothing. I do this over four times a week." I looked at her curiously. "I'm part of this group. The Miraculous Bastards."

         "The Miraculous Bastards?" I laughed and was finally able to hold myself up. She chuckled with me. Spirits, her smile is gorgeous. In fact, now that I look at her, her entire self was beautiful. She had dark red hair that hung loose and ended at her shoulders. Sparkling forest green eyes. And she was taller than me by two or three inches.

         "I didn't choose the name." She shook her head.

         "I'm Ama." I introduced myself.

         "Ama?" She repeated like she recognised it. "Wait, weren't you one of the waterbenders that traveled with the Avatar?" I nodded and smiled at her excited reaction. "You literally saved the world! Meeting you is an honor."

         "Thank you." This kind of attention always left me feeling a little awkward.

         "So, what exactly are you doing here?"

         I shrugged. "Just traveling around. That is, until something else comes around and my life takes another turn."

         The woman tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Um, I hate to ask, but would you by any chance want to meet my friends? It doesn't have to be for long and our camp isn't far." She pointed with her thumb towards a direction away from the cliff.

         "The rest of the Miraculous Bastards, you mean?" I inquired with a smirk.

         "Yeah." She chuckled.

         "I'd love to." I agreed. "Just let me grab my stuff." I crouched down, grabbing my satchel and the bag of coins. Ignoring the groans for help from the criminals.

         "I'm Mulan, by the way." The woman said quickly as we left the scene. I smiled at her. I didn't know what it was. But just speaking to her had me feeling something I haven't felt in a long time. Butterflies.

.☽☼☾.

I didn't want Ama's sexuality to be such a big deal. In an ideal world, no one would have to make a big deal or be scared of coming out. Heterosexual is not the default. But after watching Legend of Korra and reading the first comic, I realized that this would be something that Ama would have to confront.

Hang loose, amigos 🤙🏼

#fire lord zuko #zuko x oc #zuko fanfic #zuko #atla fanfic #her sun his moon #avatar fanfiction #bisexual oc #waterbender oc

[oumakokichi]

why did Ouma choose to play the villain role in particular rather than just laying low like Tsumugi did? it interests me that he chose to play a role that he probably knew he'd get so much hate for

I’m not sure if these two asks are from the same person orjust about the same topic specifically, so I decided to answer the both of themtogether!

This is a very interesting question, and understanding theanswer requires understanding a lot of the general way Ouma’s mindset works. It’salso, in my opinion, one of the biggest tip-offs that he’s not nearly aschaotic or antagonistic a force as he likes to pretend to be. After all, formost liar-type characters, the obvious choice for how to play the game would beto try and fool other people into thinking they’re not a threat. It’s a lot easier to lie to people in order toget them to like you and think of you as harmless than it is to lie in order toget people to hate you, distrust you, and be generally pissed off at you allthe time.

Ouma’s antagonistic and villain-like role is something hetakes upon himself intentionally for a number of reasons. The first is that hereally does wholeheartedly believe that cooperation and talking about the powerof friendship and working together is not going to work. Having studied thekilling game thus far, and having picked up on the fact that Monokumaintentionally comes around whenever the group starts talking optimistically andcooperatively to share a new motive, he wants more than anything for the groupto realize that naïve optimism is only going to get them killed, all the whilecontinuing the killing game for even longer.

He comments on this directly as early as Chapter 2. Even atthe beginning of the chapter, when everyone is relatively certain that thekilling game as they know it is over because no one would dare to kill againafter what happened to Amami and after Kaede’s sacrifice, Ouma knows that thisis simply naïve denial of the facts at hand. And he’s nothing if not a realist,at heart. As much as he’d like to be an idealist (he hates killing and murdersarguably even more than the other characters do), he knows that the killing game is going to keep continuing, becauseMonokuma is going to keep playing on that optimism of theirs and giving themnew motives to kill.

At various points, he actually says under his breath thatbecause they keep talking so naively about wanting to cooperate together andactually thinking that’s going to work and that there won’t be any moremurders, that’s exactly why Monokuma pops up to ruin things. He actually says thismore than once in Chapter 2, the first time saying the group is getting “takenadvantage of” by Monokuma, the second time saying Monokuma shows up “to tormentthem.” And he’s disappointed that no one else noticed this fact.

In a game solely based around the premise of entertainment,cooperating normally and holding hands and having a game without killing isboring. Monokuma shows up to present motives on a regular basis whenever thegroup starts talking about these things because it is absolutely essential tomake sure the killing game show keeps entertaining the audience. And Ouma,perceptive as he is, realizes this extremely early on and tries using it inorder to mitigate the situation and to try and get the others to realize thesame thing.

By acting the part of the villain and seeming super chaoticand antagonistic for no reason, Ouma willingly acts the part of an entertainer.I have no doubt he was probably a fan favorite on the show for the ndrv3audience, and probably one of Tsumugi’s favorite “characters” to have aroundtoo, up until he started showing his true colors and snatched the game awayfrom her in Chapter 5. But up until then, he was so blatantly playing the roleof “a character you love to hate.”His way of flying under Tsumugi’s radar itself was to act like he was enjoyingevery minute of the killing game, always trying to make it more “interesting”and “fun.”

Doing so also served the twofold purpose of making sure thatTsumugi never actually caught on to the fact that he wanted to stop the game,not encourage it. By acting like the person who was the least opposed to thekilling game continuing, he made it easier for himself to investigate. Hisvillain role ensured the fact that no one, not even Tsumugi, could havepredicted that he would cooperate with other members of the group and had awhole ensemble of plans behind the scene to try and stop the killing game onceand for all. His temporary alliance with Miu, as well as his victim-culpritcooperation with Momota, completely blindsided Tsumugi, and you can tell prettyeasily on a reread.

By acting so openly distrustful and suspicious, he wastrying to teach the group very bluntly about the need to doubt others—as wellas keeping them at arm’s length so that he didn’t trust any of them too muchhimself, since he couldn’t afford to do so. Making himself into an easy targetto hate also was his attempt to try and get the group to focus their dislikeand hatred on him, rather than turning on each other and constantly resortingto murder the way they kept doing.

There’s also the fact that… well, to put it simply, Ouma can’tact like Tsumugi because the boredom of doing so really would kill him. He’s manythings: intelligent, extremely analytical, fun-loving, terrifying when he wantsto be, and extremely quick to get bored.I’ve talked a bit in various posts about the fact that I suspect Ouma has atleast some version of SHSL Analysis very similar to Junko and Kamukura’s (thelevel of prediction he’s capable of seems to back this up, especially the300-page script he wrote in about two hours). And like Junko and Kamukura, Oumais constantly, continuously seeking an escape from boredom.

Laying low like Tsumugi was never an option for him becauseit’s something he’s so completely incapable of. Where Tsumugi excels at playingthe role of a bystander, never getting truly involved with anyone’s lives orfeelings because she really does think of them all as characters in a show,Ouma can’t stay away from the action for more than five minutes. Even at thebeginning of Chapter 5, where he laid low for a period of a few days after thegrand villain speech he gave in the Chapter 4 trial, it turns out that he wasactually coming by to snoop and check in on the rest of them periodically, eveneavesdropping outside the cafeteria, which is how he found out that they wereall going in ill-prepared to try and fight Monokuma once the Monokumerz wereall dead.

For all that he’s extremely calculating and excels atpredicting the behaviors and thoughts of others, the part of him that cravesattention is genuine. Like with any trickster character, Ouma’s tricks and liesare attempts at entertaining both himself and others. He’s compared on morethan one occasion by Kaede and Saihara both in his FTEs to “a kid trying toplay,” or “a kid who wants attention.” Ouma can’t stop putting on an act,lying, or otherwise trying to interact with the group simply because stayingaway or trying to lay low would be so incredibly boring.

I’ve made plenty of Umineko comparisons before, but “boredomis the poison that kills all witches.” Ouma is different from Junko in a numberof ways, but it’s true that just as Junko stood no chance at actually hidingand laying low amongst her classmates because she’d have stood out too much,Ouma pretty much runs into the same problem. So the best alternative for himinstead, as he knew, was to pretend to be the ringleader, to mislead the groupentirely by utilizing exactly how attention-grabbing and impossible-to-ignorehe was.

Finally, by Chapter 5 especially, there’s a certain elementof self-deprecation to Ouma’s whole villain act and the encouragement he givesto the others to hate him. His speech in the Chapter 4 post-trial in particularcarries a note of what Saihara describes as “malice”—aimed pretty clearly on areread at the ndrv3 audience, but also just as clearly at himself. “There arepeople like that in this world too, there are people who enjoy spreading malicefor no reason,” is a line which draws a comparison between the audience andhimself, as does his line about him being “the Supreme Leader whose personalityis corrupted.”

After having resorted to getting two people killed in orderto stay alive, Ouma knew that it was something he “had to do,” but also pretty obviouslyhated himself for it. After crossing his one moral code, he felt there was verylittle difference between himself and the real ringleader of the game, becausehe was something who could do such cold and ruthless things and look at it asan “interesting show.” That disgust, for both himself and the horrible, twistednature of the killing game they were all in

This doesn’t excuse his actions, of course, nor does Oumahimself ever try to act like it does. If anything, his self-hatred is somethingthat fuels his villain routine even more, and in the following parts of Chapter4 and Chapter 5 both he constantly encourages the group to blame him for everysingle thing imaginable. This, of course, obviously ties in with his plan topretend to be the ringleader and the leader of the cult which wanted to stopthe Gopher Plan, but it also feels a little bit like a self-inflictedpunishment. In Umineko terms, it’d be encouraging people to “blame the witch”for every single mishap, mystery, or murder that happened, rather than havingto open one’s eyes to the “horrible, unchanging truth.”

These are most of the reasons I can think of to explain whyOuma acted the way he did. Lying to the degree he did, bluffing, settinghimself up to be hated, it was all part of a pretty brilliant attempt to bothblindside the ringleader and make the rest of the group realize that naïve optimismwould only be a weakness which Monokuma would exploit in the killing game. Buthis downfall, as I’ve pointed out, was in being too suspicious and too far onthe side of “doubt everyone, trust no one.”

Ouma’s inability to really open up to anyone and hiscertainty that doing so would only expose unnecessary weaknesses is part of thereason not many (if any) of the characters could really see his real intentionseven after his death, and it’s one of the things that makes him fairly tragicin hindsight. He’s an extremely morally grey character who did horrible things,yes, but he’s also interesting and fascinating precisely because he knew thesethings were flaws and hated himself for them, never once trying to act the partof a tragic hero or acting as though his actions were excusable.

Given his obvious charisma and skill with lying, it wouldhave been so much easier for him tofool the whole group into thinking him harmless and friendly, if he’d reallywanted to. Had he truly been evil, he could’ve tricked them all effortlesslyand sold them all out in a heartbeat—he knew how they thought, could predicttheir actions with terrifying accuracy as the script he wrote shows. And yet hechose actively to try and stop the killing game, to keep them all alive, evenat the expense later of sacrificing his own life.

I hope I could answer this question pretty well! Thank youfor asking!

#ndrv3 #drv3 #new danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #ouma kokichi #ndrv3 spoilers // #my meta #okay to reblog #anonymous

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'M NOT SAYING WE SHOULD STOP, BUT I SUSPECT THAT TWEAKING THE INBOX IS NOT ENOUGH, AND THAT STARTING WORKING MEANS YOU GET THROWN INTO THE WATER ON YOUR OWN A PRIORI THEORIES OF WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS, BUT THAT HE'D HAVE CUT OFF HIS PROSPECTS FOR GROWTH SO EARLY

Here's a VC saying no: We're really excited about your project, and we needed to buy time to fix it. Want to make the same mistakes. I happened to run into a Big Cheese I knew from working there in the late nineties. Everyone would be wearing the same clothes, have the same kind of office or rather, cubicle with the same furnishings, and address one another by their first names instead of by honorifics. This turns out to be really tough than the quiet ones. There was not much point. There are some sterling exceptions, but as Microsoft shows, revenue is a lagging indicator in the technology business. It cost $2800, so the taboo against child sex still has force. But it's still hair-raising for the founders to make them take off, and it's easy to see, because they pick later, when there's more performance to measure.

But unless you've had a very strange life you haven't done much that was like being a startup founder isn't a programming technique. That idea is almost as old as the web. Our prices were daringly low for the time. Most of the questions people get hot about are actually quite complicated. A demo explains what you've made. Don't read your slides. But companies do. Few if any colleges have classes about startups. And technology for targeting ads continues to improve. As you read this, a whole week's backlog of shit accumulates. Most would be better if both were combined in one group, headed by someone with a clear view of the world. But it's harder, because now you're working against social customs instead of with them.

It was more like the average person. Good writing is an elaborate effort to seem spontaneous. It seems to be: that in the coming century, good ideas will count for more. That is very hard to answer in the general case. Fashion is mistaken for good. The fact is, US public school teachers don't generally understand the stuff they're teaching very well. If I had to narrow that down, I'd say what separates the great investors from the mediocre ones is the quality of the people who didn't have the kind of single-minded, almost obnoxiously elitist focus on hiring the smartest people that the big winners have had. For him, I remember thinking Ah, so this is what Bill Gates must have been a clever move to pretend to be a good founder. But unfortunately Yahoo actually tried to be one of those 10,000? Going to or back to school is a complex mix of lies. But just imagine calling Picasso the mercurial Spaniard when talking to other adults that they wouldn't want their kids having sex is that they will always be a certain amount of fakeness in the work you do when you're being taught something, and that's why I've never done another startup.

I'm sure most people couldn't; I don't know till I got to college. I learned to keep a completely open mind about which of the two founders was still in grad school and your startup fails, you fail. If you pay them to raise the stock price of a startup. Odd as it might seem. Well, that is a 100% accurate predictor of death because in addition to never wearing the color yellow. I said that the average age of the founders of the company. In a startup you could make it as startup founders if they wanted.

Maybe the increasing cheapness of startups will mean they'll be able to say no. If you seem smart and want to do this? Raising money, rather than the order in which they happen to appear on the screen for 15 seconds and say a few words. I'd recommend it to startups in preference to any other, no matter how many people you put on a task, or how many procedures you establish to ensure quality. This is a talk I gave at the last dinner; it's more of a startup than just start it. He just cannot fail now. This despite the fact that they're running investment funds makes VCs want to invest large amounts. After you've been working for a while, you yourself tend to measure what you've done the same way the market does.

But perhaps worst of all, the complex sentences and fancy words give you, the writer, the false impression that you're saying more than you actually are. The values of the elite in this country, at least for the server market. If I haven't, let me try again: starting a startup stays alive in everyone's brain. When you stretch before running, you put your body into positions much more extreme than any it will assume during the run. But since for most of his projects. There may be no one who has more experience at trying to predict that, so I won't repeat it all here. Few others could have done it. Maybe I'm just stupid, or have worked on some limited subset of applications. I think we actually applied for a patent on it.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #amount #work #projects #color #child #shit #people #life #fact #school #world #brain #technique #something #mistakes #fakeness #server #classes #stuff #person