#and it is genuinely wild to me that the it chapter 2 fic is consistently better than the writing in the dead poets society fandom
20 questions for fic writers
Thank you to @kay-elle-cee for tagging me !
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
10, which is wild because I think the last time I was asked this it was only 5.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
109,801 words
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Exclusively Harry Potter, I can't imagine writing for any other fandom at this point. Within HP, I'm pretty exclusively jily, though I have dabbled in hinny and even some scorose in my early fic writing days.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
some with arrows, some with traps
london is lonely
laundry day
glad he's gone (this genuinely shocked me, but I do love this one so much)
love it if we made it
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I usually try to respond to everyone commenting right when the fic or latest chapter drops and I'll keep it up for a couple of weeks, but I often forget to respond if they come in any later. If it's a particularly long comment I will usually respond though, just because I'm so in shock that someone took the time to write something that nice.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
hmmm....I mean probably champagne problems (though it's incomplete). This is also my most polarizing fic I think out of everything I've written. I do think i am no mother, i am no bride will eventually usurp the fic with the angstiest ending though. Or my hypothetical remus lupin halloween fic I'm thinking about for this year.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Ooohhh, I mean probably some with arrows, some with traps, right?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not really. I'd say the closest is people getting angry about how slowly I update certain fics. I'd also say a lot of people REALLY don't like Lily in champagne problems, which I sometimes take personally because I put a lot of myself in her lol.
9. Do you write smut. If so, what kind?
I am terrified to write smut. And I know I'll probably have to write it for something I have planned for a false start, not really sure how that's going to go.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I don't...but I do write the jily version of other pieces of media. Obviously SWA is much ado about nothing, and then I'm working on a Love, Rosie version of Jily for the Jilytober rom-com event right now.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have not, but this would be the highest form of flattery if someone ever asked to translate.
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Never, but I'm definitely open to it!
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
I mean... it's jily, it's gotta be jily.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I mean probably champagne problems. I think the ending I intended works if it's a continuation with the rest of the folklorevermore songs I had planned, but it's quite ambitious and I've lost the steam for the other stories. I'd like to wrap up champagne problems as best I can, but I don't think it'll be the ending anyone wants to read.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue, 100%. There's a reason SWA is all texts. I also think my Sirius Black is quite good and also weirdly very consistent across all my fics no matter the world he's living in.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Finishing things...
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
If it was Italian or French I'd take a pass at it since I can speak both, but anything else I'd worry I was majorly mucking it up.
19. First Fandom you wrote for?
Harry Potter (specifically scorose)
20. Favorite fic you've ever written?
I mean, it's some with arrows, some with traps. It's probably my most favorite piece of anything I've ever written. It's also the first fic that wasn't a one shot that I finished. There's a reason I keep coming back to the world with a false start and with a big cake, happy birthday.
This was so fun!
Tagging @oyprongs @emeralddoeadeer @theesteemedladydebourgh @clare-with-no-i if you fancy and anyone else who'd like to give it ago !
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reblog if dean winchester kisses the gay angel on the mouth
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Sylvanas part 4 (2/2), in which I am too tired to form actual analysis and literally just post the notes I took while reading
(negativity warning on this one because I didn’t bother deleting the parts where I was just bitching about the bits that annoyed me)
That’s... not what happened in the Stormheim campaign
okay but here’s the thing... thus far they’ve done thing to convince me that the afterlives aren’t unjust. The methods are wrong, yes, but Sylvanas isn’t wrong in thinking the system is flawed.
The part where she is thinking about Genn and Liam not being reunited is honestly very humanising, for that matter. Here is someone she supposedly hates, and still her thoughts are on wanting justice for him
“She had abandoned sleep long ago” the way it’s phrased implies to me that this was a conscious choice. This is not important for the character or anything, I’m just making note of it for fic writing purposes
[sicko] he he... gonna write some fic that is so fluffy that was the best sleep they’d had in years
“Even with so much dividing us - life, death, centuries...” oh my god not even the internal timeline is consistent. How old is she. what centuries are these, it’s only been like 28 years since the point she considers their family to have been whole.
genuinely funny how Sylvanas keeps forgetting Nathanos exists only to ten pages be like “he is the only person I need and trust!”
is this why she didn’t realise he was dead in all of 9.0 had she just forgotten he existed again and then as soon as Tyrande mentioned him she was like “oh shit right my not-boyfriend. Wait fuck you killed him?!?!”
“Where is he? Will I ever see her? Are they happy?” trans rights I guess *shrug*
Sylvanas is actually making long term plans now. That’s a nice change of pace
Chapter 27 Sylvanas: there’s an unbreakable bond between me and the Forsaken.
Chapter 28 Sylvanas: I do not care about the Forsaken
Sylvanas back on her stupid, pestering Saurfang to answer her weird questions and being surprised he realised something was up
“Sylvanas appreciated the faith her loyalists had shown to her” That’s me! look mum I’m on tv
I know it’s cringe fail of me to defend Nathanos bitchyman or whatever, but like... [gets out conspiracy board] we got so close to having an interesting character arch for him, in which his doubt for Sylvanas led to him defecting from her, and now this book is going to be like “ohno, he was like never doubting her at all.” Please christie golden world of warcraft you’ve already spent so many pages making me despondent and pushing me towards insanity with your wild Sylvanas headcanons, don’t make me look at your bad Nathanos takes too. Please. let me have something.
okay but actually though... him pleading with her to just leave... I don’t know how to feel about it. Shipper me says yes, the me who cares about both characters and their stories says no to how that was handled. I would have had that happen so much sooner.
AU Where Sylvanas agrees to help Anduin escape and none of this bullshit happened
Who is this person in metal armour?
Okay but real talk. Reading through the acknowledgements, you can tell that Golden (and the rest of the team) has a genuine care for Sylvanas. And even if I disagree so much with the writing choices here, I gotta respect that. Golden spent 29 chapters and then some laying out why she likes Sylvanas, and even if those are for the most part not the reasons I like her, I respect that.
The end, thank fuck
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i 100% believe miles comes out on tumblr like after rise of the ashes or something and everyone rejoices (this headcanon is sheer fucking gold btw)
Oh dear you’ve activated my trap card for this hc get ready for this because i definitely agree that Miles coming out is CELEBRATED on tumblr however it’s a LONG journey before he gets there. Before I get into it though there is a cw for briefly talking about suicide so please be mindful of that! It’s mostly in the context of the note post RFTA and people speculating what happened to Miles in his disappearance from tumblr, but I do talk about it so.
Ok here we go
So Miles is well known as That Guy on Steel Samurai tumblr who is absolutely insufferable to interact with but he writes good meta and writes even BETTER fics, but it’s the kind where something is obviously going on in this guys life and is he ok? Because it seems like he’s working through some shit and that combined with his ask answering sprees of outright denying he’s gay and just talking Like That on the internet people get a kick out of him and he’s JUST tolerable enough that people don’t really DO anything about it. He probably gets a call out post maybe like one time but it’s just by some rando who’s pretty new to the fandom and doesn’t get the sort of unspoken agreement steel samurai collective fandom has made to just put up with him despite him being absolutely dreadful.
But then all of a sudden Miles just... disappears one day out of nowhere. At first it’s just a day, then a day turns into a week, and a week turns into a month and people are like what the fuck? What happened to the iq of 127 guy? And people start writing WILD theories about what happened to him to chase him off the website because it’s like, 2016. But people start to get WORRIED when his longest running fic Updates it’s FINAL(!?) chapter and he just... kills off the Evil Magistrate. That’s when people are like oh my god did he? Did he fucking kick the bucket? Oh my god what the hell and he is just absolute radio silence on tumblr because surprise! He leaves the note in his office and then he also decides to leave tumblr at the same time because he really genuinely thinks that this is it for him.
HOWEVER. Miles also has a best friend in the Steel Samurai fandom. Someone who he met on tumblr years ago and who he enjoyed debating and conversing with who he thinks has very well thought out opinions on the show even if he doesn’t agree with all of them (he does agree with most of their points, which is why he was so open to their friendship in the first place). And they’re the ONLY person who he keeps in contact with while he’s in Europe finding himself after his breakdown.
That person is Maya Fey.
He and Maya became friends years ago and neither of them know who each other are or how old they are or really anything about each other except their screen names and more personal details that they choose to share over kik, which Miles only got because he was curious to know more about her and it was the only platform she offered. She was very hesitant about choosing to become his friend, but Maya’s fixer complex told her wow this is a broken man, maybe IM the one who’s gonna make him a better person and make him less awful. And for the first few years this had minimal success. She got him to say a few more slang terms, but really he didn’t change all that much. But she was consistently kind to him! And once you got to know him he really isn’t that bad, especially in those rare moments of emotional vulnerability he allowed himself (he was too afraid of being “found out” even though he had moved out years ago) and he could actually be a pretty fun guy.
It isn’t until Miles’s year in Europe when things really start to change. He had a very vocal crisis to her over kik that kinda freaked both of them out, and as I mentioned he stopped using tumblr entirely and Maya gets WORRIED about him and he just. Starts telling her stuff because he’s emotional. It’s the most he’s EVER told her and it’s still nothing TOO revealing because he knows how public his image is and he doesn’t want ANYONE, not even who he considers to be his closest friend, to find out who he is online because he doesn’t want to be seen as unprofessional or just general shame about his hobbies. And over the course of that year they just... slowly she keeps beating it into his head that he’s a good person! Or at the very least a FINE one who is trying to be good and that’s all that matters. And like he starts to just... internalize it. And starts listening to her advice about maybe going to therapy. And then HE starts listening to HER problems more and it becomes... a more mutual friendship. And it’s nice because he’s never had anyone like that! But he keeps talking about this guy who saved him and stuff and that’s when Maya is like woah pump the breaks dude we need to talk about how you’re definitely gay and he gets SUPER defensive about it but like over time he just. He starts to come to terms with it, and she helps him a lot but he does a lot of that work himself too.
And so when he comes back in 2-4 he’s starting to feel... better of course but also different? And more confident in himself. He still has a long way to go but he’s learning! And that’s what matters to him! But with learning and trying to be better he realizes something. He has to log back onto tumblr and actually like, apologize for being horrible. And he does just that. But when he logs back on he’s SHOCKED that he has HUNDREDS of asks a lot of them are the usual but a lot of them are also ones of like, GENUINE concern asking if he was ok and if he was still alive and he’s taken aback that people even SENT HIM kind asks when he was so awful to them.
Miles makes a really long apology/announcement post where he’s INCREDIBLY sincere and in it he OPENLY acknowledges that he was dealing with a lot of unresolved trauma and says something about how he came to terms with being gay in his absence and he thinks that that’ll be the end of it but within literal MINUTES of him posting that he’s getting asks telling him how HAPPY THEY ARE that he’s not only ok and doing better but that he came out and people WELCOMING him to the community and then there’s like posts that are like “And people then make posts like wow am I the only one who got emotional about the guy with a iq of 127s thank you post? anyone else? Just me? Ok (12.6k notes)” and “If the 127 iq guy can get better and learn to work towards being positive then you can too (54.9k notes)” within a matter of DAYS and seeing those and just
It’s weirdly SO validating for him that he was being cheered on by literally THOUSANDS of people who are celebrating his growth as a person! That are celebrating his COMING OUT when he was SO scared of that part of himself for SO long. And the fact that people were ROOTING FOR HIM even when he was the actual worst just. It makes him feel so good about himself and it makes him feel loved! So much so that he writes ANOTHER post thanking everyone for being so kind to him and telling them that things DO get better and there ARE people that appreciate them and it just... gets passed around because it’s a really inspiring and reassuring message and people just GENUINELY start to appreciate him. And it’s just a celebration of HIS character growth by THOUSANDS of people he doesn’t even know because man was he famous outside of his perceived sphere of influence due to the amount of meme material he ended up writing.
He still used tumblr and stuff after all this but he’s really calmed down a lot, he even rewrites the ending of his long running fic that caused people to panic about him. And he still answers asks and writes meta and fics and stuff, and he’s still MILES of course so he can be a bit of an ass when you disagree with him but he’s. Nicer. And happier. And that’s what matters.
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Man, I Feel Like A
A Linked Universe fic
[chapter 1]
Chapter 2: A Sticky Situation [posted on ao3 here]
At what point is it considered appropriate to tell your travelling companions you’re actually a man, and at what point are you supposed to take the secret to your grave? Wild has no idea and it’s driving him mad with anxiety. He’s kinda waffling towards keeping it a secret forever at this point.
It’s not like he’s a man all the time. He was genuinely just having a lot of girl days at first and so forgot about the problem, and he didn’t bother to correct anyone on a boy day when they happened. But now it’s been a few months, he’s been a boy consistently for at least a week now, and if anyone calls him “she” one more time he thinks he might solve his problem purely through violence and yelling.
This is such a weird problem. He’s used to the opposite in his Hyrule, where he’d be having girl days and be constantly called “young man” or whatever.
The funniest part? He wasn’t even a girl when he first met them. He came straight out of Gerudo Town after talking with Riju on a boy day and didn’t think to correct them, and now look. It’s been months.
Gender is an awful curse sent down by Hylia Herself for using Her name in vain too often, and now Wild has to reap the consequences. What a vindictive goddess. He endeavors to use it all the more wastefully whenever he has this thought.
Usually it’s not much of an issue. He calls his ever shifting moods “girl days,” “boy days,” “goron days” for the times he feels more neither than anything. Almost always, he feels like… half a gender at most. Like he took a bite out of an apple and found that enough.
On girl days she fixes in an earring Issha recommended and calls it a day. She hardly ever bothers correcting people, like how the Gorons won’t mind if you call one sister instead of brother. On boy days, he puts in a different kind and knows it’s enough. Even if the Gerudo call him Little Hylian Vai (as they’ve taken to nicknaming him), he feels about the same as he always does. Goron days are the easiest, where they forgo the earrings entirely. There’s the little thrill when someone gets it right, but it’s not a big deal. Link is Link, after all. At his core, no matter if he’s called Wild or Link or Champion, no matter if he’s called a boy or a girl or, once, a hellion menace to society, he’s always solely himself. Gender feels more like an accessory than it does part of his identity.
Except it’s been months, and Wild is going insane. He didn’t realize how much he depended on the occasional slivers of—validation? insightfulness? understanding?—having someone call him correctly. His friends back home knew, at least in few in almost every major settlement, and they always referred to him correctly after checking his ears.
At the risk of being redundant: Wild has gone months without that. In one go, he solved the problem of being referred to almost solely as a man and ended up with the problem of being referred to solely as a woman.
And now the second problem: how in the name of Hylia (blessed goddess who is the source of all his troubles) is he supposed to tell the others?
Hey, I know you’ve been under the impression I’m a woman this whole time, but surprise, I’m actually a man! Except it’s not all the time, but today I am and have been for the past week.
Could you do me a favor and call me he until I tell you to stop, and to keep doing that if I ever ask again?
You know when that man in the town two portals back said to grow some balls and take up his gambling challenge? Might’ve found a solution to that.
“What’re you muttering to yourself?” Twilight asks, and Wild nearly drops his armful of mushrooms back to the ground with a squeak. He turns with wide eyes to see the rancher raise an eyebrow at him.
“Nothing!”
He gets a disbelieving sigh at that, but he’ll take it. Better Twilight believe he’s planning to dump Goron spice into someone’s bowl than hear what he’s saying before he’s found the words.
Wild stands up from his crouch, disappearing his haul into the slate. “Did you get the herbs I asked for?” At Twilight’s affirmative, they start heading back to the camp in companionable quiet. They hadn’t wandered too far off, but it’s still a walk back.
It’s Twilight who breaks the silence first. “Say, Wild…” He stops, both verbally and motion-wise, forcing Wild to stop as well. Wild looks up at the man’s face. There’s hesitance writ in the uptick of his mouth, and his gaze is unreadable. “You’re a good kid, you know that?”
“Huh? What brought this on?”
“Ah, it’s been a few months since you’ve joined our group, hasn’t it? Got thinking, ‘s all. You’ve got a good heart, so don’t hesitate to let us know if anything’s bothering you.” He reaches out and ruffles Wild’s hair, smile widening into something genuine when Wild protests and pulls back. “You’ve been looking a bit down.”
He… hadn’t realized his mood has been that obvious. Wild looks down and kicks the dirt under his feet, hoping his ears aren’t as red as they feel. A sincere, well-intentioned talk about his feelings? Horrible. Worst experience of his life. “I’ll—” His voice catches. “I’ll be fine, Twi.”
He doesn’t need to look up to know Twilight is giving him that look, the one Wind calls the Big Brother Face. “If you say so. Just know we’ll be willing to listen and support you,” he says, gentle as if Wild is one of his goats.
Wild runs his tongue over his teeth, feeling warmth and dread in equal amounts prick at him. “Of course.”
And he’s not lying. They’re all kind people at heart. No one will care. You don’t know that for sure, a little nagging voice says. You lied to them for months, another hisses. Should’ve spoken up earlier. He can imagine the twinge of hurt in Hyrule’s face, the particular furrow in Legend’s forehead, the way Wind’s smile will drop a little if he tells them he’s been lying for so long and, worse, that they might’ve been hurting him, unintentional though it may be. They’re too kind, is the problem.
It would’ve been one thing if he’d told them earlier. Easier to laugh off, to brush aside as something that hadn’t crossed his mind until just then. Like it wasn’t an intentional farce—it wasn’t! Wild isn’t different at all, not where it matters. Clothing doesn’t factor into it, because he’d wear whatever regardless of gender. Neither does the way he acts, because a sashay is fun to pull off at any time, and as a girl Link has no problem swimming shirtless. He’s just been going with the flow.
It feels like a farce though. He never lied, not really, but he didn’t fix any of their assumptions, didn’t say anything, for months. It’s a lie of omission that sits sour on the back of his tongue.
Twilight clicks his tongue, waiting until Wild looks back up at him to speak. “Is it dangerous? Whatever’s bothering you.” He doesn’t seem stern or any more solemn than earlier, just an open, neutral expression on his face.
Uncomfortable, yes. Dangerous? No, not unless they run into a monster that feeds off conflicted guilt and pent up frustration. Wild shakes his head.
“Then I’m not gonna pry. I’ll keep Time from trying to dad you too, if you want.”
Unbidden, a giggle slips out of Wild. “‘Dad’ me?”
“You didn’t think I’m the only one who’s noticed you’ve been down, did you? I just got first dibs.”
Wild lets himself laugh fully at that, ignoring the stone in his stomach.
-
Warriors flicks his gaze to the campfire, where a still-smiling Wild sits in front of a cooking pot. She and Twilight had returned a while ago, snickering like mischievous children while sneaking looks to Time. Old Man’s probably going to get some nasty purple chu jelly in his dinner tonight, he’s assuming. A bit of a surprise she’s got Twilight in on it, though.
It’s good to see that Wild’s in a better mood than before. She’s been… not sullen, but a tension none of them can ease has been sitting on her shoulders for a few weeks now. There’s nothing obvious that brought it on, but it’s heavy enough that even Legend will have worry flashing across his face whenever Wild pulls away from their group with no indication as to why.
“She’ll say something when she’s ready to,” he hears Twilight murmur to Time. They’ve got some mentor/mentee plan going on to get Wild out of her mood. Successful, he supposes; she’s been dropping off into frowns whenever left alone in her thoughts for too long, but right now she’s almost definitely brightened up enough to pull a prank.
Still, he can’t help but scoot over to insert himself into the conversation. “It’s not anything dangerous, right?” He trusts that she would tell them if it were; Wild is the least team friendly player in their group, but she’s got enough sense in her to know what’s necessary.
Twilight shakes his head. “Confirmed it wasn’t.” Here he hesitates, and his words come out slow, deliberate. “I’m not sure if it’s… one of her memories? I don’t remember there being one before she started acting weird, but it might’ve come as a dream.”
Warriors purses his lips, thinking. It could be. He’s certainly entertained the thought before. Wild doesn’t fall into a memory too often, but they’re hard to hide, so everyone became aware of her amnesia and subsequent flashbacks sooner than later. Almost always she’ll draw into herself a bit, hidden away in a large cloak until the world stopped being too loud and bright for her, and even then Wild would still be withdrawn until something coaxed her out of her shell.
It doesn’t feel like it, though.
He takes another look at Twilight’s face. It says it all. “You don’t think that’s it.”
The rancher really is a farm boy through and through, honest as the day is long. “I overheard her talking to herself earlier, but I’m not sure what I heard and it’s not my place to say anyway.”
A sigh, and Time hauls himself up to his feet. “Then we wait,” he says decisively. They watch him amble over and strike a conversation with Four about the forest they’ve landed in. Twilight goes back to sharpening his sword.
Warriors’s mind is still stuck on Wild, though, and he’d bet a bag of rupees so is Twilight’s.
He prides himself on being a good commander. Quick to judge a situation and quick to notice if anything is wrong, able to lead squadrons of forces with only minutes to prepare. Often, his command was too numerous for him to know everyone, but he did his best to be there for anyone who needed it. Perhaps it’s foolish of him—too many faces, half-familiar from life, unmistakable in death haunt him to this day—but he refuses to give up caring. It hurts, but to hurt is to be alive, and he carries his ghosts with him even as he locks eyes with a new trainee.
Here, their motley group is a lot smaller than the armies he used to command. He’s never been an older brother before, but he finds himself falling into it naturally. It’s easy to tug on the back of Hyrule’s tunic to keep him from wandering off, normal to nudge Four and encourage him to keep talking about smithing, effortless to pull Wind into a friendly scuffle. With Wild, he finds himself looking after her like it’s instinct.
Maybe it’s because she’s still young at heart. The scars riddling her face and body age her up years, but there’s something heartwrenchingly childlike about the way she’ll wander off from the group to catch a bug or pick a plant, not understanding why they’ll scold her to stick with them. She’ll often show her finds off, grinning like there aren’t a million twigs in her hair and mud on her face.
It’s painful to see someone like that pull away without any indication as to why.
He sighs, leaning back on his palms to look at the evening sky. The brightest stars are beginning to shine, flickering around the rising moon. The smell of sweetly roasted vegetables wash over him. Quick headcount: Sky and Wind sparring; Twilight sitting nearby; Legend checking their perimeter, Hyrule with him; Four and Time talking about where to go; Wild at the campfire, standing up and stretching.
“Dinner’s ready!” she announces, loud enough that Legend and Hyrule should hear. Without waiting, she begins pulling out plates from her slate and spooning out portions. Warriors watches her closely enough that he sees the glob of something purple being hidden under some greens.
Definitely purple chu jelly from Twilight.
It travels down the line, Warriors hesitating before handing it off to Time, who’s last. It’s all in good fun though, and Wild’s figured out (after much trial-and-error) how to make sure the jelly doesn’t kill anyone, so he keeps quiet, only checking his own plate to make sure he’s not going to be a victim as well. Wild catches his eye and winks. Twilight, across the campfire, has a little feral edge to his grin.
Warriors watches with bated breath as Time takes a scoop of his food. It’s riveting, seeing his expression go from pleased and content to I-will-kill-whoever-did-this. Reminds him of the little pissed off kid he knew before meeting him again as an adult.
Time raises his head to glare balefully at Wild. “Why did you do this.” It falls flat of being a question.
“Do what?” Wild asks back, eyes wide and confused. “I thought you liked carrots?”
Wind giggles into his own meal, shoveling another bite into his mouth when that earns him an unamused look. “I didn’ do nothin’!” he protests before Time even starts saying the accusation. “Yer face wa’ funny.”
“Don’t talk while chewing,” Sky reminds him. “Time, what’s wrong with it? Mine tastes fine?”
Without speaking, Time takes another scoop and presents the purple chuchu glob. The camp falls into hysterics, speaking all at once.
“Some weird seasoning you’ve got there, Old Man.”
“Are you going to need a potion?”
“Where did someone even get their hands on that?”
Warriors sits back, letting the rambunctious laughter and chatter surround him. Wind denies it some more, pointing to Hyrule, who was apparently looking at Time’s dinner too intently. Hyrule denies it right back, pushing the blame to someone else too. There’s shouts of protest as accusations go flying. He tunes it out, just smiling to himself. A small prank, but a big reception. It’s nice to see spirits so high, especially Wild’s.
He’s too busy feeling reassured at Wild’s bright, impish grin that he nearly misses the accusation thrown at him.
“—paused before giving it to Time, too.” Legend says this nonchalantly, but one’d have to be blind to miss the smirk he shoots Warriors as he says it. “Seems suspicious to me.”
Twilight makes a faux thoughtful noise, failing to hide his laughter as Warriors whips his head around to stare in betrayal. “He was rummaging through our bags earlier, could’ve taken it from mine or Wild’s packs then.”
Warriors splutters, “I was taking inventory! You know, the thing I do every other night?”
There’s a little gasp from Four, too theatrical to be natural. “He was staring at Time when we started eating too…”
Betrayal! Ganged up on by the miserable lot he dared call his brothers!
Clearly they’ve figured out it wasn’t him. Wild’s just about collapsed with laughter at the sight of his panicked face, but it’s obvious no one wants to spoil her fun. Time gives him the sternest, most I-am-your-father-listen-to-me face he can muster and says, “What do you have to say for yourself, Warriors? Why would you put purple chu jelly in this delightful meal Wild worked hard on?”
Warriors is speechless. Wild titters, looks up to see Time raising an eyebrow at Warriors, and breaks back out into gleeful wheezing. Wind and Legend don’t seem to be far off, delighted at his misfortune.
Golden goddesses, the things he does for family. “You’ve done it,” he says, strangled, “you’ve caught me in my dastardly tricks. Oh woe is me, what punishment will I be given?” Sky is the next to break, hiding his laughter behind a hand.
Time, the little snot, looks at him with thin, disappointed lips and mirth dancing in his eyes. “This,” he intones gravely. The purple chu jelly jumps from his spoon and smacks into Warriors’s face.
Even Twilight is losing it now.
“ARGH!” he squawks, not expecting Time to actually go through with it. It’s to the others’ cackling that he slumps to the ground, groaning at the sticky feeling on his cheek. He can deal with a little grossness (no matter what Legend says), but it’s not a nice feeling when he could be clean and not sticky.
Someone hands him a clean cloth. Hyrule, bless his heart. It’s one of Twilight’s cloths, so he feels no guilt in scrubbing off the jelly and throwing it at the traitor himself. Twilight takes the assault with a grin, the infectious mood lingering even as the laughter calms down.
“Here.” A scarred hand dips into view, and Wild refills Warriors’s bowl with some fried greens fresh from the pot. Steam rises up lazily. She smiles at him through it, cheerful and alive like she hasn’t been for the past week, and he instantly forgives her for pulling him into her prank.
He takes a bite and sighs. Fresh, still sweet yet crispy from quickly frying it. “Delicious as ever,” he compliments, trying to force some grudge into his tone. Wild sees right through him and beams wider. “Oh, shove off.” He wipes a hand, still a little sticky with goo, across her nose, grinning himself when she shrieks a little in delight.
“Be careful, mister, or else the goo’s going in your meal next!” she teases before scampering off to her own meal.
It’s sometime after dinner that Time approaches him. “Thank you for playing along.”
Across the clearing, Wild’s wide grin has dropped to a faint upturn of her lips. She’s scuffling with Wind and the large wolf that follows their group every now and then, trying to claim a sleeping spot. She’s happy, and after the past week of halfhearted interaction, it feels like everything.
“Ah, it’s nothing.”
-
The sun’s rays are beginning to skim past the treetops when Wild wakes up. Legend notices immediately; there isn’t anything hostile in the area, so he’s been sitting closer to camp for the past hour now. He doesn’t say anything when she sneaks out—at least, not at first. When she doesn’t return after 10 minutes, 20, he shakes Twilight awake to keep watch before following.
She hasn’t gone far, just within hearing range if someone shouts. Legend stands at the treeline, watching her pull and put back different earrings from that slate of hers. Studs, hoops, drops, different fashions he can’t name, all reflective of masterful craftsmanship. They gleam in the early morning light as she holds each pair up for examination.
“You can choose today’s accessories from the camp, you know,” he calls out. Wild, to her credit, doesn’t react other than her shoulders raising a few centimeters. “Pretty sure Wind won’t try stealing them.”
That earns a short laugh. “He wouldn’t dare unless he wants his breakfast burned. Besides, I’m just… trying to decide how I feel today. Hard to do that around that noisy lot.”
Legend stops in his tracks. Normally he’d like to tease, but there’s something brittle about her voice. “Want me to leave then?” he offers. He may be a prick, but he’s not about to inflict his presence on someone who needs some time alone.
Finally, Wild turns to look at him. “No, stay,” she says, and even she looks surprised at how firmly she says it. She pats the stone next to her. “C’mon, sit with me for a while.”
It’s nice and quiet in the spot Wild’s chosen. He sits with his back to her, not wanting to crowd. Faintly, the tittering of birds sweeten the air, and if he closes his eyes and focuses he can smell the rich petrichor lingering from yesterday’s early evening rain. Wild goes back to picking out earrings, the faint chime of her slate’s magic rhythmic in its repetition.
It’s like this often, Legend finds. They’re both pretty silent people on their own, and perhaps not as close as they are with some of the others. Sure, they jibe and bicker, but to avoid too much tension they end up not seeking each other out. Legend isn’t even sure if he wants to be close to Wild anyway; she’s almost guaranteed to die violently young and violently so, given her track record of scars and reckless combat techniques.
Still, his treacherous heart cares, and he heaves a sigh as he thinks of her recent melancholy. A conversation wouldn’t hurt, right?
“You’ve been wearing a lot of stud earrings lately,” he says. He doesn’t turn to look, but the chiming stops. “Maybe one of those dangling ones? The amber gems give a nice glow to you.”
Quietly, so faint he almost misses it, Wild replies back, “...Maybe.” He risks a glance to guess her expression; she’s staring distantly at her hands, eyes locked on a struggle Legend can’t see. “Change things up a little, right?”
He raises an eyebrow, though she doesn’t see it. “You don’t have to go with my suggestion,” he points out. “If you want to wear studs, wear studs. They get tangled up less in the twigs and branches you insist on jumping headfirst into, at any rate.”
“And if I don’t want to wear any at all?”
What an odd question. Legend fully turns around to squint at her. “Then don’t? What, am I missing some watchmen that will arrest you if you don’t put some metal in your ears?”
Wild huffs a laugh at that, but it’s half hearted. “No, I don’t think so. Don’t mind me, I’m just overthinking things.”
“Overthinking… types of earrings?” He doesn’t mean to sound so doubtful, but Wild is both a ridiculous fashionista and someone who could not care less for her appearance. She’s got a multitude of outfits, sure, but she’s never exactly cared if they matched or how she looked as a result (leading to a very distressing time where she sprinted through Twilight’s Castletown wearing her Barbarian shorts, clunky torso armor that glowed, and an odd mask that looked like a fish was eating her head. He’s pretty sure they’re banned from the inn for life).
She shakes her head. “No, forget it, it’s… related, but it’s not—” This time, her head shake is harsher, more aggressive. “It’s got some meaning for me,” she reveals reluctantly under Legend’s interrogating stare. “What type of earrings I wear, I mean.”
He considers this, lining it up with the past week. He almost wants to ask “why would you ever wear earrings that make you feel horrible?”, but obviously that isn’t an option. Choosing wearing a specific type probably isn’t an option she has, either. Something dictates the type she wears regardless of how she feels, but how could a type of earrings make one feel bad…?
Hylia, this is giving Legend a headache.
“Are the earrings hurting you?” he settles on asking. There’s no way he’s getting the full story out of her anytime soon, but the important answers need to be established first.
“Wh—? No, they’re fine.”
“Do they upset you? Is that why you’ve been weird this past week?”
“... it’s not the earrings, not really. Kind of? It’s complicated.”
“Uncomplicate it, then.”
He gets a jab to the side for that. “I don’t know how to,” she admits, bitterness sharpening her tongue. “I’m working on it, okay? I’m… I’ll be fine, just give me some time to figure it out.”
Legend jabs her right back, tickling her sides for good measure and ignoring her squeak. “Well, figure it out faster,” he says drolly. “Whatever it is you’ve got going in your head can’t be that bad, considering it’s mostly empty in the first place.”
Now that earns him a tackle right off the rock, and they tussle around like children for a few minutes before wordlessly agreeing to stop, flopping onto the grass to stare at the brightening sky. Neither of them are breathing very hard, but Legend thinks he can hear Wild’s become lighter, less burdened. He bites his tongue to focus his thoughts.
“Just wear whatever you feel like wearing, you menace. If it’s not the earrings making you feel bad, then deal with whatever is making you act like a kicked puppy.” He kicks out blindly and catches her ankle. “If it’s one of us, or something we’re doing, or, I don’t know, maybe you’re just allergic to the grass here, tell us. If it’s something from your past, then however you deal with it is up to you, but between the nine of us we’ve got all sorts of trauma covered, it’ll be easy to commiserate with someone.”
He rolls over to speak and finds her already looking at him. “Uncomplicate it. Whatever it is, either you’ll get past this or you won’t, but things will only get worse if you let it stagnate.”
Wild breaks eye contact first, sitting up but gaze fixed low. At this angle, he can’t see her face. “Get it over with, basically. I guess that’s good advice.”
The sky looks bright enough that the others are probably awake by now. “Of course it is,” he says. She’s not going to take it, at least not right now, he can tell. “Decide on the earrings yet?”
Clacks of fingernail against glass. The now-familiar chime of the Sheikah slate. “Studs again today.”
“Amber?”
“Amber, yeah. You made a good point.”
“I always make good points.”
A snort, and they fall back into silence. It feels like a moment in eternity before Wild speaks up again. “We should make it back to camp.” She sounds almost regretful, and Legend feels it too. The area is warm and peaceful, and it feels like a crime to have to spend the entire day trekking their way through an adventure no one signed up for.
Neither of them move. He closes his eyes, feeling the morning sun warm his skin.
“Legend?”
It takes a moment to respond, the siren call of sleep beginning to pull at his senses. “Hm?”
“Thank you.”
He hums, not resisting the lull of the little bubble they’re in. “No problem.”
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tagged by: @agent-skulldrey
tagging: @sophosthewisebunny, @loveburnsbrighter, @schittposting, @extraordinary-arbiter-bluebird and anyone else who wants to play!
rules: check your stats on ao3 by going to your dashboard and clicking through to statistics.
amount of works posted: 32
total word count: 144,148 (I think like ~40k of this is writing from co-authored fics that I *didn’t* write, but I did edit all 40k so)
longest fic: Summer is More Than Freedom is my longest co-authored with @ships-to-sail at 46,691 (she easily wrote 2/3 of it, she’s a MACHINE). Longest solo is my criminally underrated (yeah I said it!!) A Marksman’s Ability at 10853. Both are Schitt’s Creek.
shortest fic: Come to Bed at 441!
fic with the most kudos: Spin the Bottle, somehow, at 470
fic with the most bookmarks: Summer is More Than Freedom with 176
fic with the most comment threads: Same as above, unsurprisingly! It’s also my only real chapter fic.
total amount of kudos: 4655, which is just genuinely wild
total amount of bookmarks: 782
total amount of comment threads: 619 (what a JOY)
fandoms written for: Queen’s Thief and Schitt’s Creek
fests you’ve written for: Elevate! A Schitt's Creek Femslash Exchange;
Schitt’s Creek Sports Fest; Schitt’s Creek Open Fic Night 2.0; Queen’s Thief Appreciation Week (which isn’t technically for fic but I went hard so)
pairings written for: Gen/Irene, Helen/Sophos, David/Patrick, Alexis/Ted, David/Stevie
favorite fic you’ve written this year: Nothing Is as It Has Been, which I wrote for a fic/art swap. While I can already see ways I could have improved it (hey writing practice!), I am weak for Eddisian cousin content, even my own, and I am just so proud of this fic.
goals for next year: Keep writing consistently! I crushed my own NaNo goals last month and tbh the best thing was how into the groove of writing I got. Picking up a creative hobby that’s primarily output instead of input has been SO good for me and I just want to keep it up. And also, floor the QT tag with content I want to read but. Secondary goals.
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answering questions from this post for @eria-nova ! thank you for the questions :D i decided to make a separate post instead of reblogging because it got a lil long lol
1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)
one to five? that’s so few numbers hnnnn so little wiggle room. writing is so subjective, so obviously i enjoy my genre of writing more than other people, so accommodating for that... maybe like an average of 3ish
6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?
mmm love me some slapstick. this isn’t necessarily an “element of writing” and i don’t know that i’m necessarily good at it, but i do really enjoy doing it. i guess one could count this as “action” but i mean specifically the action of clumsy shenanigans.
7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?
probably imagery and just. describing things and people in a compelling way :/
12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.
my only wip right now is Happiness is Not a Place, which i am VERY excited about. i have a whole bunch of OCs in it too, which is new for me but i love them all so much. other than HINAP, i am planning to continue a series of trans oneshots on ATLA characters... i am particularly excited for Suki and for hella’s OCs (tomkin and nanook) from The Art of Burning :)))
17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.
A/B/O. just not my thing
19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?
it depends on the canon. i’m a sucker for things set in oldish times, so i really like canon divergence in ATLA fics because the ATLA universe is oldish times-adjacent.
26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?
i answered this one before, but i’ll answer it again in a different way! as far as fic goes, i think i covered it in my first response, but as far as writing goes—i really want to write a book. but. i’m very bad at worldbuilding, at staying committed when i don’t get feedback consistently, etc. basically i’m bad at everything needed to write a book lmao.
27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?
i answered this one, but i’ll answer it again in a different way! i don’t have one that i appreciate more than others because i just genuinely love and treasure all of them. i guess it is always really flattering to see the same person commenting on every chapter of a fic/every fic. if anyone reading this is one of those people, i just— 💚💚💚💚💚💚 please have all my appreciation and affection
32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.
Heads-up seven-up ruins lives. (A Heads Up Would’ve Been Nice)
33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?
hm i guess just like. don’t give up on me? for lack of better phrasing. if i’ve posted something, i will complete it, it will not be abandoned (although there’s no shame in that, whether it’s for mental health or just because the author doesn’t want to write/post it anymore). sometimes school is just a lit, and a lot of times it’s just lack of motivation. so i guess if you’re reading this and are excited about one of my fics/wip, tell me!!! if you have any questions or comments about it, let me know them! because though i will finish it either way it will help me get more excited about it and expedite the writing process lol.
34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.
i did Zukka slapstick last time, so i’ll do my other favorite genre of writing: Azula angst.
“The turtleducks that had once inhabited the small pond were long gone (their bread suppliers being gone longer). The plants were overgrown, too—Azula had been sure to keep the landscapers away from it. Without grooming, the fire lilies had exploded across the lawn; what had once been a few perfectly curated flowers was now hundreds of wild lilies in all shapes and sizes. Fire lilies required care—otherwise, they would become deformed. The strangled stems had made their way right up to Zuko’s— Azula’s —window, pressing their glowing blossoms against the glass, misshapen faces twisted in the agony of their freedom.”
- ch 2 of Happiness is Not a Place
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{fic} That Old Sweet Feeling (part 25)
Fandom: The Adventure Zone: Commitment
Rating: M
Chapter Warnings: None
Relationship: Nadiya Jones/Mary
Word Count: 1,543
Here on AO3. Read the rest: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24
Tagging @someone-called-f1nch, @voidfishkid, @mellowstarscape, and @jumpboy-rembrandt!
I’ve literally had parts of this chapter written for six months. I can’t believe it’s finally here.
Chapter Summary: Nadiya finds herself grounded. Mary Sage reaches for the stars. (You know what happens next.)
__________________
Nadiya wasn’t ordinarily one for walks through the park, but when it was Mary Sage who invited her on one, (“I checked with Grace, she says it’s in the radius of the blocker, we’re good”) she found herself physically unable to decline. So now, they were walking along a sidewalk lined with soft green grass and tall trees. Mary Sage had her hands stuffed into the pockets of a hoodie she’d tossed on and she’d put three dandelions in her hair for no apparent reason and God, Nadiya was in trouble.
The trouble being that she was too goddamn gay.
“Nad?”
“Hmm?”
“You like science, right?”
“Uh, duh.” Nadiya rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, dumb question.” Mary Sage hip-checked her. “I was wonderin’. How’d you get through the gates? In Halleluland.”
“Oh.” Nadiya thought back. She, Remy, and Irene standing in front of the worn, pearly gates. The calm, booming voice saying, Step up and tell me of your faith. In what do you believe? Kardala announcing that she loved Jesus and his terrible Bible. “Well, Kardala got onto one hand and talked about Jesus, and I got on the other one and talked about science stuff, I guess.”
“An’ that worked?”
“Yeah, we got in, didn’t we?”
“So you believe in science?”
Nadiya was about to brush off the question, then caught Mary Sage’s eye. She looked genuinely curious. “Well…” she said, forehead wrinkling. “I mean, you could say it like that, yeah. I believe in… logic. I believe there are certain rules the universe follows. And even the things that seem chaotic are still built on theories that we can describe.”
“Give me an example,” Mary Sage said, leaning up against a convenient tree and biting at the knot in one of her bracelets.
“Okay.” Nadiya joined her near the tree. “How about gravity? No matter what, things are going to be pulled towards the largest gravitational force in the area. Unless things get really big or really small, but even then, there are rules.”
Mary Sage studied her, head on one side. “And that’s just how science works?”
“Yeah. There’s an explanation for everything. Even with things like, uh, like quantum mechanics. That’s based on probability, so you can’t predict it, but you still can count on it to be unreliable, if that makes sense.”
“Somethin’ you can stand on,” Mary Sage said softly. “Somethin’ to ground you.”
“If you want to put it like that.” Nadiya dragged the toe of her shoe through the grass. “I always… I never…” She sighed. “You could say there wasn’t much that was stable when I was growing up. My parents got divorced when I was pretty young, and I grew up on military bases with a bunch of private tutors, and we moved every couple years. I like… consistency. No matter how many times you split white light into its components, you always get the same colors. No matter what you break down to get at them, the elements stay the same. Everyone has the same cells that make up their bodies, even if they don’t always work the same way.” Nadiya caught her breath slightly.
“Sounds like what you’re talkin’ about is faith,” Mary Sage said.
Nadiya looked up. “Not really.”
“More in common than you might think.” Mary Sage propped one foot back against the trunk of the tree. “It’s all about counting on the way things work. Except instead of a bunch of rules an’ theories an’ shit, it’s about relationships.” She laughed a little. “Bonds, I guess. Means there’s even more in common than we thought, ‘cause of that bond science stuff Remy’s mom figured out.”
“What do you mean?” Nadiya asked. “About the relationships part.”
Mary Sage hummed, rubbing the cuff of her hoodie sleeve along her lower lip. “It’s all about the relationship between God and His people. Whole Bible’s about that. Hell, all of religion’s about it, even if it isn’t the same god.”
Nadiya had never heard it put that way. Had never thought about it like that.
“When I was little,” Mary Sage continued, “Mom an’ Dad would… tell me stories. Bible stories. But they weren’t boring, or… about, I dunno, followin’ rules an’ stuff. They were about relationships, an’ how you could count on God an’ each other. Not so different.”
“Not so different,” Nadiya said. “I… I guess not.”
“All about what it’s built on.” Mary Sage smiled, and her cheeks dimpled. “Science can’t explain everything, Nad. You gotta trust. You gotta have faith.”
She pushed herself off the tree trunk, and took a step forwards, and she was right in front of Nadiya.
“Tell me, Nadiya Jones,” she said, and her hand came up, fingers clenching into Nadiya’s shirt collar. “In what do you believe?”
“I believe in you,” Nadiya said, and Mary Sage kissed her.
Mary Sage kissed how she looked: wild, ridiculous, desperate. Her mouth was hungry against Nadiya’s, all tongue and teeth, and holy shit, Nadiya hadn’t kissed anyone in so long. She felt like she’d almost forgotten how. But somehow, her hands found Mary Sage’s mass of red hair and tangled into it – like it needed to be more tangled than it already was. Than it always was.
And Nadiya kissed her back.
She pushed against Mary Sage’s hungry mouth, held her face close. Angled her lips against Mary’s. Mary Sage could kiss her deeper like this, and she did. Her tongue stroked deep into Nadiya’s mouth, and then Nadiya let out a muffled sound as Mary Sage’s hands dropped to her hips, digging in hard.
Mary Sage laughed, that infectious, throaty giggle that made Nadiya’s heart open up like a fucking sunflower. “You didn’t think Space Cadet was a prude, didja? Just ‘cause I know the good book inside and out?”
“What about you,” Nadiya said, voice embarrassingly breathless, “screams prudery, exactly?”
Mary Sage shoved her glasses back up her nose, and then her hands snaked further back, grabbing Nadiya’s ass and pulling their bodies flush. “Not much,” she said, and kissed Nadiya again.
Nadiya felt every millimeter where Mary Sage was pressed against her, from her fingers to her hips to her breasts to her lips. God, Mary Sage’s lips were perfect. Her whole mouth, really. Who would’ve thought all it would take to turn Nadiya into a total sap was locking lips with this ridiculous Christian wiseass who’d tried to kill her when they’d first met? But here they were, and Mary Sage nipped at Nadiya’s lower lip, and Nadiya saw stars.
“You have flowers in your hair,” Nadiya mumbled against Mary Sage’s mouth.
“Yeah,” Mary Sage agreed.
“We’re on the run from a cult.”
“Seems that way.”
“We’re going to infiltrate a government function in like, twenty-four hours.”
“Sure are.”
“Is this –”
Mary Sage shrugged. “Just means now or never, right?” She kissed Nadiya again, open-mouthed, but had to break off because she was giggling again. “Remy’s gonna give me so much shit. I, uh, mighta mentioned I had a crush on you back in Nevada. When we were locked up and freakin’ out and we were bonding.”
“You have a crush on me?”
Mary Sage stared. “Nad, I just kissed the bejeezus outta you. I have the biggest fuckin’ crush on you.”
“Well.” Nadiya cleared her throat. “That’s good to know. I’ll… take it into account.”
“God, you’re such a fuckin’ nerd,” Mary Sage said. “It’s a good thing you’re so cute.”
“You said I was hot the other day.”
“Yeah, that too.” Mary Sage pushed her face against Nadiya’s neck. “You drive me crazy, Nad. I’m crazy about you. You know that, right?”
“Now I do.” Nadiya rested her cheek on Mary Sage’s head. “I… really like you, too.”
Mary Sage gave a long, rusty sigh and wedged herself more firmly into Nadiya’s arms. They stood like that for a moment, swaying slightly, arms around each other.
“We should get back,” Nadiya murmured. “Irene’s going to be worried.”
“Yeah. Don’t want anyone to figure out where we are.” Mary Sage reluctantly pulled back. Then, suddenly, she smiled. Pulling back the sleeve of one of her hoodies, she started picking at the knot to one of her bracelets – a green and orange chevron. After about a minute of work, she managed to get it undone. “Hold out your hand.”
“Which one?”
“Left.”
Nadiya did as directed, and Mary Sage tied the bracelet around her wrist, affixing it with a tight knot. “It’s a friendship bracelet,” she explained as she secured the ends. “Made a ton of ‘em at Bible camp over the years.” She glanced up at Nadiya with a grin. “Only this one means more than friendship, ya dig?”
“I dig.” Nadiya looked at the bracelet, running her fingers along the light bumps of the embroidery floss. “Thanks.”
“It could mean we’re girlfriends now. If you want,” Mary Sage added, as if she’d just thought of that.
Nadiya’s face heated, but she nodded. “I’d… like that.”
Mary Sage’s smile spread over her entire face, her muddy eyes crinkling behind her glasses, and she leaned up to kiss the corner of Nadiya’s mouth. “Good,” she said. “’Cause I would too.”
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|Renascent|- Chapter 3.
Summary: Thrust back into the world she had barely escaped before, will she be able to forgive herself? Will she be able to save broken friendships and restore lost trust? What happens when she falls in love with a man who’s barely able to feel and afraid of the world?
Takes place after the events of Civil War.
/renascent/: adjective- being reborn; springing again into being or vigor.
Pairing: Bucky BarnesxReader (eventual)
Words: 2,245
Warnings: none, I think. rusty writing
A/N: I’d like to thank everyone single one of you for reading this fic. You guys are honestly the best. It really means the world to me. Thank you so much for the lovely comments you left on the previous part ❤️
I’m very sorry for my rusty writing, I’m trying to get back to it. Please bear with me. I also apologize for my grammar or any mistakes, English is not my first language. Please feel free to correct me. Thank you so much for reading. It means the world. ❤️
Chapter 1., Chapter 2., Chapter 3.
One of the most commonly known sayings among mankind is that just because we're connected to someone by blood doesn't always mean we're family. And as painful as this may sound, it is often also true. But many times the universe decides to be so generous with us as to allow us to share some of the most profound bonds with those who we share the blood connection with. However, people often don't realize that they've been chosen as the lucky few until it is too late, whether the bond was divided by a heart-wrenching fight or death itself. And once the connection is taken away, all that's left behind is an empty space desperately longing to be filled. Even though Y/N has always treasured the fact that she belonged amongst the chosen ones, she has never expected her invitation to be taken away from her so soon.
From the very beginning of her life, her heart and soul were intertwined with those of her dear brother. The two of them bonded fairly quickly and soon shared every aspect of their lives with each other. One of the things they shared together has later been their job, or as they liked to call it, their purpose of life.
Ever since they were little, their childhood plays consisted of becoming superheroes and saving the lives of those in need, and they always hoped for their life to one day become it. Though again, what child doesn't wish for their dreams to come true?
So then one day, after their entire lives were dedicated to bettering themselves, whether it was in combat or knowledge, after several Ph.D.'s and way too many sleepless nights and wishes whispered into the dark, the universe got so fed up with their prayers that it decided to grant them their wishes. And so Y/N and her brother were soon recruited to become the agents of an organization called S.H.I.E.L.D.
It didn't take long for them to learn everything needed to get through the often torturous training and were soon cleared to participate in real missions. The very first ones tended to be simple, and usually only consisted of gaining information and then quickly slipping out, and then when there was nothing of such sort for them to do, they'd return to fill in their empty spots in laboratories. But once the harder missions came by, they often consisted of having to do one of the most unbearable things on earth. Robbing another human being of their privilege of life.
The very first kill was the hardest one, and no matter how trained Y/N was for it, the pull of the trigger still broke something inside her. And so she had to let her soul harden for her to be able to get through it, to be able to continue with ridding the world of villain and making the world a better place. And with the help of her brother, she often did. No matter how many lives the both of them have taken, they always knew that they still had each other, that they had someone to rely on, someone to pour the blood of their broken heart to, someone who would wash off the blood on their hands.
It didn't matter what kind of a mission they got assigned to, for they always had each other's backs, always protected each other from the harm of the world. Until one of the most dreadful days of Y/N's life came by. The day when she couldn't do anything to protect her brother, the day when she had to watch as every single drop of life left his body at the hand of a murderous monster. The monster she has seen take lives of others before. The monster that was hidden deep inside a man who now lay in front of her, buried in deep slumber, restrained like a wild animal. And yet the more she let her eyes wander along each detail of him, the more she took his appearance in, the more his looks resembled the ones of an angel. Though she knew that deep down, the monster was still hidden, waiting for a thread of words calling for him to kill again. And she felt more confused than ever, for how could she feel so drawn to someone who has destroyed her entire life?
„They're about to wake him“ a soft yet deep voice echoed beside her, making her jump slightly as it pulled her from her thoughts. Steve provided her with an apologetic glance once he realized what he had done before continuing.
„I don't think you want to see this. I myself probably wouldn' t be able to stomach the way they treat him if I saw it. Besides, our presence is required in the auditorium. It's gonna start soon, we should get going“ his eyebrows furrowed in concern as he pointed at the iron door only a few meters away from them.
„We should. Let's go then before they drag us in there by force“ she chuckled nervously as she proceeded to walk towards the door, sending one last glance towards the restrained man behind the glass.
„So... have you decided how you're gonna testify?“ Steve asked as they made their way down the hall, trying to avoid bumping into any of the agents rushing through the building. The building they got brought to in handcuffs after countless agents filled her house not long after she watched Bucky's body crumble to the ground. She felt relieved because it meant that he would get the care needed to save his life, but she also feared for her own life.
She sent a quick glance Steve's way once more before returning her gaze to the ground. She understood his concern, for this could change the life of his dearest friend forever. So she just shook her head as she diverted her gaze towards the ground, trying not to get lost in her thoughts again.
„I know this is hard for you. I know it's a hard decision. But please don't let the weight of the situation cloud your judgment“ he pleaded as he sent another concerned glance her way.
„Don't worry, Stevie. You don't need to give me the dad talk. I'm gonna try to do the right thing, even if I may not know what it is yet.“ she tried to reassure him with the most genuine smile she could conjure up at that moment, and she could clearly see as relief took residence in his eyes.
„Thank you,“ he whispered as he squeezed her shoulder, „For everything“ he quickly added before smiling at her warmly.
„Don't thank me yet. You and I both know this isn't really a trial. Their decision has already been made, they're just doing this because they have to, because they otherwise wouldn't be able to do what they have planned for him. Even if I try to do my best and they'll let us say what we hold in our hearts, they're still gonna try to twist our words, try to make of them what will only help their cause. Even if we only have the purest of intentions, this could still end horribly for Bucky“ she contemplated as she tried to search Steve's eyes, not sure what to make of what she saw in them
„I know“ Steve nodded his head, sadness lacing his voice. He smiled at her as he opened the door for her.
She took in a deep breath to try and steady herself before she entered the room, all eyes turning towards them. Her heartbeat resonated louder and louder in her years with each step she took, not calming down even after she claimed her seat next to Wanda. Steve was seated right opposite her, which she was greatly thankful for. Though she wasn't allowed to talk to anyone, she still let her eyes wander across the faces of her fellow teammates, the faces of people she loved dearly. She could feel tears starting to burn their way into her eyes, for only then did she realize how much she truly missed them. And after a while of stolen glances and an enormous amount of deep breaths, she felt a soft touch on her hand followed by a reassuring squeeze which sent a wave of calmness through her body, the tiny hand belonging to none other than Wanda.
Y/N knew it wasn't Wanda's magic that calmed her down, because as she turned her head towards her to thank her with a smile, she noticed a black collar like device attached to her neck which was seemingly sending tiny electric shocks into her body. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as her eyes scanned the people around her once more, and she noticed that every single one of her fellow teammates had the same device attached on various parts of their bodies as well. The same device that was placed on her ankle as well.
A wave of anger ran through her veins as her lungs burned with the deep breath she took in, her teeth hurting from the pressure of her tightened jaw. The anger only seemed to amplify as the doors opened once more, revealing dozens of guards with guns in their hands surrounding Bucky's body which was tied with various shackles, which too seemed to be sending shocking impulses through his body every second.
He was soon dragged into the room, and seated in front of the table where everyone sat, his head hung low with his face hidden behind his hair, his chest rising with each rapid breath he took. The guards joined the ones already in the room that were positioned in each corner, two of them remaining closely behind where Bucky sat.
The room fell silent, the air got thicker with each passing second as tension spread throughout the room before nothing could be heard but the scratching of a chair dragged across the floor as one of the councilmen stood up, buttoning up his blazer as he made his way to the front of the room where everyone would be able to see him clearly.
„Ladies and gentlemen, you've been brought here today to testify against the crimes of James Buchanan Barnes, also known as The Winter Soldier. All your testimonies will be taken into consideration, though they may not change our final decision.“ the councilman said in a stern, cold voice before stopping abruptly as a soft ´Of course not´ could be heard, said by none other than Y/N herself. She only tightened her jaw more as the councilman sent her a quick angry glance before continuing.
„We will begin with the testimony of Anthony Stark. Mr. Stark, if you may“ he indicated for Tony to start as he sat down.
„Ya know, I think this whole circus is pointless, as we all already know that you don't care about our opinion, you never do, though, so nothing new here. I will, however, say that even though Bucky has committed some horrible crimes, including killing both of my parents in cold blood, it wasn't really him who acted out those commands. I'm not saying he shouldn't be punished for them. I'm saying that he shouldn't be the only one. How about you punish all the Hydra members as well, hm? Like your precious Alexander Pierce and also-“ he spoke angrily before getting interrupted.
„Okay, I think that's enough, we've taken notice of your opinion“ the councilman tried to stop him from saying anything else, getting to stand up again.
„No honestly, though. I could name so many more. Why only melt one side of the coin? Ah-“ Tony's voice got cut off as a wave of electricity ran through his body, torturous pain making him unable to speak.
„This is illegal. You can't just cut him off because you don't like what he's saying“ Sam yelled out as he pointed his hand in Tony's direction while staring down the councilman angrily.
„Yes, we can. You've given us the permission by signing the Sokovia accords. We're allowed to eliminate any threat you bring with yourself. We will proceed with our next subject“ the councilman continued.
Y/N could feel her anger amplifying with each testimony she heard, each of them cut off once they didn't like the words their „subjects“ were sharing. The air tightened with every word, the situation not getting any better.
„Miss Y/L/N, it's your turn now“ the voice of the councilman pulled her out of her thoughts, and she could feel everyone's eyes on her. She breathed in as she looked around the room, trying to make sense of her thoughts, the ringing in her years and the resonation of her heartbeat against her chest making it almost impossible. All the messy thoughts suddenly stopped as her eyes met with the icy blue eyes of the man who's life felt to be in her hands, and suddenly she felt like she couldn't breathe. It seemed as if everything depended on her words, yet she herself wasn't sure what to think of the situation as each word she heard during the trial changed her opinion completely. And so she stood up and clenched her fists so tightly she could feel her nails piercing through her skin, and as she proceeded to talk, she deeply wished for her words to not ruin the life of a man she was falling in love with.
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1-5 for the author ask meme XD
get to know your author! | @dancersofdestiny
1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?
i never did finish my very first fanfic which was a monochrome factor one called “see you again” and i know i never will by this point. for the longest time i kept saying how i wouldn’t drop the story and i promised to finish it but if i’m being realistic that just won’t happen.
i started that fic back in september 2011 which was six years ago. back then when i was continuously writing it and working on the chapters i had the time to do that. nowadays with my job and being focused on that i have a lot less time.
i’ve also just lost interest in writing fan fiction and my own stories. lack of interest and motivation are the other reasons why i’m not going to finish the story. i was also an incredibly less experienced writer back then and less mature too. i still love haruka to this day but that story is never going to see an end.
2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?
my very first smut fic and all of my old one-shots are ofc really cringey but i don’t believe in being embarrassed by your old work?? it’s totally normal to be a bit embarrassed and like “omg i can’t believe i used to write that way” but i don’t believe you should feel ashamed about it.
we all start somewhere and anyone who’s a writer wrote terribly at one point. it’s just part of the process of learning and improving. it annoys me when people whine about their old writing and say “this is so embarrassing it’s so cringey” like y e a h everybody’s old writing is awful! that’s okay! own up to it and be proud of how much you’ve improved! be good to yourself yo!!
3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?
i have no idea what this question is asking siogjkhs but generally with rp i don’t write in chronological order. when i first started i would always do “meeting” threads and do that for like 20 replies back and forth to have our characters meet each other for the first time but honestly? that’s so boring to me now. it’s so so slow and i feel like development doesn’t happen very well that way.
like at least when it’s just a standard “bumped into each other and keep talking from there” type of scenario. if there’s more plot to it then it can be better but yeah in general i don’t like doing those kinds of threads anymore and i almost can’t omg more and more i’m finding myself liking to do things where our characters already know each other and then backtracking to fill in the blanks of how they met/how their relationship grew/etc.
4) favorite character you’ve written
heart eyes @ haruka!!! to be fair he’s really the only character that i’ve consistently written and put genuine effort into writing. so i might be a little biased lol but that’s exactly the reason why he’s my favorite. i fell in love with his character and writing him and getting to flesh him out in my own way made me so attached.
i started rping as him back in 2013 but i wrote him in fan fics starting 2011 so it’s really been a total of six years now that i’ve been writing him. that’s so wild to me and i hope to continue writing him for many more years.
5) character you were most surprised to end up writing
probably my OCs honestly. they were thrown aside and gathered dust for a good 5+ years until i finally decided to actually do something with them. they’re still not anywhere near as fleshed out as i want them to be but i’m so glad that i got into the rp scene because writing for them has helped tremendously in figuring out their personalities and stories more.
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