#and it’s a good thing I didn’t see their post until months later because boy. would that have been embarrassing for them

[mixtape-racha]

should i stay or should i go | hwang hyunjin

who knew the quiet girl in the back of the algebra classroom, and the campus's golden boy would have so much in common? // minors dni, 18+

words: 4.3k // warnings: camboy!hyunjin x camgirl!reader, dom!hyunjin, oral (f. recieving), tiny hint to orgasm control, protected piv, "sir" and "princess", recorded sex, illusions to aftercare, reader is kind of a brat and teases hyunjin at first, hinted multiple rounds, slight degradation but mostly praise

“g’night, guys. dream of me!” hyunjin grinned, biting his lip as he leaned forward to turn off his livestream camera.

he felt sticky, and messy, but god did it feel good. he worked quickly to find his wipes and clean the cum off of his torso before it dried, before pulling out his favorite lounge pants and a baggy shirt.

sure, cam work was often frowned upon, but why shouldn’t he get paid for allowing others to view his pleasure? why shouldn’t he indulge himself in the compliments of strangers on twitter who oh-so loyally reminded him how beautiful he was under every lewd or nude he posted?

in fact, he didn’t understand why people wouldn’t want that for themselves.

of course, it also helped that he was surrounded by many followers and mutuals who were even more attractive than him, making many online friends who enjoyed their sexuality just as much as he did.

speaking of which, he needed to reply to a dm from his favorite mutual. she was gorgeous in every sense of the word - and her personality even more so. they’d began talked after she praised him under one of his only cumshot videos on the app, and instantly bonded from there. it was her who had introduced him to the camming site she used, hyunjin having instantly made an account - at first, to watch his new friend’s streams, but eventually starting his own.

his most recent conversations with his friend - who used the online alias of “jae” - was about their many, many requests from their followers for a collab. either for a twitter post, or a stream, it seemed their fans weren’t too fussed. they entertained the idea, and were currently in the process of figuring out if it was actually a good idea for them.

he was more than keen - jae’s body was gorgeous, and he’d rubbed one out to her twitter posts more than once. and - although he’d never admit it - he was a frequent viewer of her streams. that was where jae and himself differed though. she was too caught up in keeping her viewers occupied, that she hadn’t had a chance to watch one of his streams, and he never showed his face in twitter posts. 

so, in short, she didn’t know what he looked like. and neither did he truly know what she looked like, because she’s never done a face reveal on twitter or on a stream. he was only fortunate enough to have endless content of her gorgeous tits and pretty pussy to indulge in when he needed it.

a week later, and it was almost time. hyunjin and jae had agreed to meet at a bar near his campus, to see how their dynamic went. the agreement was that if either party felt uncomfortable, they would go no further and call the idea off. if they both felt comfortable, well…. jae would take hyunjin back to her apartment. they’d see how things went there, take a few photos for twitter and maybe if they both wanted.

then - all things successful - the following weekend, they’d do a joint stream, streaming live on both their accounts simultaneously for maximum viewers. that was his idea, a whim decision that he was surprised jae agreed too.

hyunjin dressed in his nicest semi-casual outfit before grabbing all the essentials in his bag - wallet, keys, charger, airpods, phone - before grabbing a bottle of lube and some condoms. just to be on the safe side, he told himself. he didn’t know why he was so nervous, this was literally part of his job. and he’d been talking to jae for months now. he had no reason to be scared.

that was until he got to the bar and had every reason to be scared. sitting in a booth in the corner, exactly where jae had told him she was sitting, was you. y/n l/n, the pretty girl in the back of his algebra class. there was no way, right? he cautiously approached the table, hands shaking slightly. oh god, was it really someone he knew on the other end of the phone that entire time?

“jae?” he asked, wincing at the way his voice broke, and his heart thumping when your head whipped up. you looked like a deer caught in headlights as you realized who was stood in front of you, and instantly you both worried that this was a bad idea.

“oh my god… hyunjin?” but what surprised him most was the way you broke into a grin. “thank god, i was so worried it was actually going to be a creepy old man catfishing me… come! come sit!”

were you always so bubbly? hyunjin had always known who you were, but this was so different to the quiet girl in the back of the algebra class, one airpod in at all times, glasses donning her face and never talking. he was almost whiplashed - he’d really misjudged you.

“so… i mean, know that we’ve known each other previously, do you still want to do this? if not, no harm done, and i promise i won’t tell anyone if you don’t tell anyone about me.” you asked softly, picking up on hyunjin’s hesitance - not that it was hard, he wore all his emotions on his sleeve.

“no! no, i still want to do this.. i guess i’m just.. surprised? i never expected jae to be someone i knew.”

you grinned at that, reaching out to grab his hand across the table comfortingly.

“i get it. i didn’t expect you to be someone i knew, either. but honestly, this works really well for me. you’re hot, and i feel more comfortable knowing you’re not a complete stranger.”

he flushed at your words, but hoped you couldn’t tell under the dim lights of the bar.

“do you wanna get a couple of drinks before we head back to mine? maybe some shots, just to ease the nerves? my teat.” you smiled, pulling out your purse as hyunjin shook his head rapidly.

“no, no i can pay for my drinks!”

“hyunjin,” you laughed. “its fine. got a big tip last night, nearly $600 dollars from a private stream. my treat.” you insisted, taking his drink order before wandering over to the bar.

he couldn't help the way he watched your ass as you walked, the tight skirt doing nothing to help his already raging boner. if he’d known you were so confident, he would’ve made a move on you sooner. in all honesty, hyunjin had always had an eye for you - you were so, so pretty. the whole nerdy thing you had going on really turned him on too - you seemed so innocent, and it played into his whole corruption fantasy. but knowing now that it wasn’t true - that you were secretly a freak? it was a whole new level of turned-on. if he could, he would’ve ravished you in the toilet cubicles of the bar, but he was more classy than that. maybe next time.

before he could realize the implications of his thoughts, you came back over, passing him his drink before sipping on yours as you took a seat.

“so i was thinking we could cover the basics here? safe words, hard limits, that sort of thing? it seemed too impersonal to do over messages, you know?”

god, he didn’t think he could get more attracted to you. he barely could keep track of your conversation, only spaced-in enough to cover the most important topics. his cock throbbed in his jeans when you leaned over the table towards him, tits squeezing together perfectly under your tiny shirt. the skirt you wore hugged your hips in a way that had hyunjin trying not to drool, and your thighs looked so, so biteable in contrast to the material adorning them.

he was so out of it, he couldn’t even trace the moment that you’d left the bar to go back to your apartment, not until you pushed him against the back of the door and asked him to kiss you with big doe eyes.

and how could he refuse? when you looked up at him like he was the only god you could ever submit to? when you begged so nicely? when your hands tightened on his shirt in anticipation?

he gripped your jaw, pulling your face up to meet his as he kissed you in a flurry of clashing teeth and spit. he wanted to be gentle, to be careful with you, but he couldn’t help himself. he needed you so bad, and it was like his body was acting on its own accord.

like when he flipped your positions, so you were the one pressed against the door. a moan left your lips and went tumbling into his at the way our back hit the door, and he felt himself throb at how pretty you sounded. he was quick to hoist one of your legs over his hip, pressing his body against your as much as he could.

as his tongue entered your mouth, battling yours for dominance which you inevitably surrendered to him, he grabbed a fistful of your ass, the feel of your skin making him groan against you.

he was quick to pull away from your mouth with a pop, smirking as you whined before attaching his plump lips to your neck, nipping and sucking at the skin. you keened, back arching against the door and pushing your tits against him perfectly. he tapped your ass harshly, before lifting at your other leg, hinting for you to jump as he wrapped your legs around his waist, effectively trapping you against the door.

the display of strength had you clenching around nothing, hands tugging at his hair as you panted and whined into the darkness of your apartment.

“bedroom, hyun. take me to my bedroom.” you whimpered as he bit down on your jugular, rocking your hips against him. “last door on the right.”

he grunted in response, carrying you across the expanse of your apartment, kicking open your bedroom door when he reached it. he was fast to kick it shut behind him, dropping you onto the bed once close enough and looking down at you with eyes so blown-out with lust he looked feral.

you felt small under his gaze, embarrassment flushing across you in a way it hadn’t in a long time. cam work and your nsfw twitter had built a whole new confidence in you - you felt like femme fatale, someone who could have boys falling to their knees to worship the ground she walked on, only to have hyunjin blow it all away within moments. you couldn’t remember the last time you’d wanted someone this bad, and you were damned sure you were going to make him give you what you wanted.

your hand slipped down to your skirt, lifting the material as you slipped your panties to the side, looking up at him with doe eyes as your finger circled your clit. you were so wet it was unreal, and he could’ve sworn you were about to start dripping all over the bed below you.

“gonna fuck me now, hyunie? gonna make me feel good like you promised so many times on twitter? need you so bad, need you to fill me up.” your words drawled out slightly slurred, the visual of his cock jumping beneath his jeans making you involuntarily clench around nothing. but oh, it made something in your mind click, smirking as you enticed him even more with your teasing.

“why don’t we stream it, yeah? then everyone can see what a fucking slut you are for me?”

he growled in response, lunging forward to push your thighs apart as far as they could, his eyes fixed on your cunt, slick dripping out of your greedy hole.

“oh, i’m a slut, hmm? well then, we don’t we show your viewers how quickly you’re going to cream on my cock, yeah? make them watch as you beg me to cum inside of you, have my cum dripping out of you as a reminder of how bad you want me?”

you were so caught off guard at the change of demeanor that he showed, you didn’t even realize that he’d floated over to your computer, which had your streaming site booted up in the background in case of an impromptu stream - just like now, you supposed.

turning back to you, his face had relaxed and his eyes showed concern.

“are you sure about this, what about if they accidentally see your face?” your heart warmed at his worry, shaking your head in response.

“i don’t care. collab stream with you and face reveal? two birds with one stone, just need you to hurry up and fuck me.”

at your words, his face hardened again, and he smirked, typing in the title for the stream and turning it on. instantly, pings from your computer informed you that people were joining, and it had you more turned on - if that were even possible.

‘face reveal + a special guest: surprise lovelies xoxo ~ jaecums // callmehhj’

“gonna let me ravish you now, then? let sir turn you into a brainless cumdump on his cock?”

your eyes fluttered, threatening to roll to the back of your head as hyunjin approached you once more, biting your lip as you nodded, whining out a yes.

“come on, princess. you gotta use your words for me, yeah? how else will i know what my slutty girl wants?” he asked, faux sympathy dripping from his voice as he knelt on the end of the bed, long fingers circling your hole.

“please, sir, please, need you, need you to fuck me so bad, sir, please-!”

your words were cut off as he removed himself from the bed, kneeling on the floor and pulling you towards him by your thighs. your legs hung over his shoulders, ass perched on the edge of the bed as he kissed softly up your thighs.

“gotta let me hear those pretty moans as i eat you out first, though. gonna make you cum on my face before my cock even goes near you.”

you keened as he pushed his face against your core, nose swiping against your clit as he flattened his tongue against you.  “oh, fuck–!”

he hummed in appreciation, the vibrations making your hips buck against him as he messily made out with your clit, spit and arousal dripping down onto his chin. your hands laced their way through hyunjin’s long hair, grip tightening every time he decided to tease you by dipping his tongue into your hole.

his fingers were digging into your skin deliciously, and you were sure you’d have marks left behind to remind you that this wasn’t just a fever dream. your moans were bouncing off the walls, and even then you could hear the messy slurping of hyunjin gathering all of your arousal that he could into his mouth.

he was like a man starved between your legs, and it had your stomach tightening unbelievably fast. there was no way– you’d never come this fast, especially from oral. was hyunjin superhuman? you couldn’t believe that you were already feeling a coil tightening and a warm tingling spreading up through your body already.

your hands threaded further through his hair, hips bucking wildly as you tugged his face deeper into your core. “oh, shit– oh fuck, sir, m’gonna cum–!” you cried, toes curling as you tried to fend off your building release. “please! pleasepleaseplease-!” your words came out slurred, and hyunjin smirked to himself between your legs as he pulled away from your swollen clit with a pop.

he quickly replaced his lips with his fingers, rubbing delicate figure-eights on your bud while he looked up at you with faux doe eyes. “gonna cum, yeah? you gonna cum for me, baby?”

but it wasn’t enough for you as tears sprung behind your eyes, digging the heels of your feet into his shoulders. “please, sir-! please, let me cum for you, please!”

hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly before his face hardened once more and his fingers sped up on your clit. he began pressing kisses to your thighs, biting and sucking at the plush skin.

“go on, princess. cum for me. cum all over sir’s face, yeah?”

and as soon as the words left his mouth, he pushed his nose against your bud, tongue lapping at your hole and the coil in your stomach snapped. you keened, back arching as your juices flooded hyunjin’s mouth, him moaning against your core in appreciation.

he stayed nestled between your thighs until your legs started twitching in overstimulation and you began pushing his head away. but god, he’d never get over the way you tasted. it was official - he’d never be able to give any other girl oral because it would never be as perfect as the way your thighs wrapped around his head. he was a goner.

hauling himself onto his feet, hyunjin wrapped an arm around your back to pull you to meet him halfway in a sloppy kiss, the taste of your slick falling from his mouth to yours.  you moaned against his lips, hands falling to grip onto him any way you could before realizing he was still fully dressed. you sharply pulled away from the kiss, brows furrowed and lower lips falling out in a pout.

“take it off,” you grumbled, pulling at the material of his shirt, frown only deepening when he chuckled at you. but you could forgive him for that, you could forgive him for anything - especially when he looked that fucking good. planes of muscled, honey skin exposed to you, and you wanted nothing more than to pin him down and cover him in bites and bruises. however, you didn’t think he’d let you get away with that, so you let your hands fall to his belt, quickly undoing it in hopes he’d get the hint.

as he began removing the offending items, you slipped your skirt and top off, leaving you in just a lacy bra, to which hyunjin grinned. “so desperate for me, huh? wasn’t enough that i made you cum once, was it? my greedy girl.”

“need you inside me, please,” you whimpered, reaching out to pull him towards you. “need you to fuck me, sir, come on.”

he leaned down to plant a kiss on your head, before stepping away to retrieve a condom from his wallet. it was in that moment of silence that you could truly appreciate how many pings were coming from your computer, an indication of how much people were enjoying the stream. you were kind of excited to see how many tips you got, and were curious to see if hyunjin would easily accept half of whatever you made - he seemed like the type of guy to refuse, but you could be just as stubborn.

when he came back, he had put the condom on his length, and you nearly drooled seeing it up close. his dick was…. well, gorgeous. there was no other way to put it, and you knew damn well that you were going to be screaming with pleasure faster than you ever had.

“gonna fuck you so full of me, yeah? let everyone see what a dirty bitch you really are.”

he clambered on top of you, kneeling with one hand next to your hip and the other on his length to guide it against your hole. he’d barely put the tip in before you moaned, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at how fucked out you were.

“calm down, love. let me at least get inside you before you go all brainless.”

but you couldn’t help the way you writhed and keened as he pushed ever-so-slowly further into you, not stopping until he was sheathed inside you, his public bone resting against your plush thighs.

he had his lower lip tucked between his teeth to stop himself from drowning out your pretty whimpers, but also to ground himself - you felt so warm and tight, it took everything in him not to nut straight away. he couldn’t. you deserved to squirt all over him before he even considered finishing.

you reached for his arm, fingers coming to grip the muscle as he began to shallowly thrust, the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls making your head fall back as you let out a contented sigh. you didn’t think you’d ever felt so full in your life, and it was heavenly. every vein on his cock, every twitch, the way his tip stretched you out so perfectly for the rest of him. oh yeah, you could die happy now.

your legs wrapped around his waist, locking him against you as he rocked his hips, not wanting to overwhelm you and pound into you how he wanted. his eyes bored into your skin, making you blush at the way he held such affection for you in his pretty eyes. it was freeing, and overwhelming, and heartwarming all at once.

once you’d been reasonably adjusted to his size, he pulled his hips back as far as your grip would allow him, leaving just the tip inside, before thrusting forward against such force it sent your body back up the bed at least an inch. you cried out, clenching on him as drool began pooling at your lips from your want— no, your need for him to ruin you.

“please, sir,” you slurred, fingers gripping at his skin as tight as the heat in your body would let you. “fuck me properly, please. wanna make a mess, wanna make you cum.”

he then growled at your words, hips speeding up almost instantly. your body rocked in its spot on the bed, tits bouncing with the pure force he was driving into you at.

the room was filled with the sounds of skin slapping, and if you strained your ears you could hear the squelching noise your pussy made as your arousal dripped out, coating the sheets beneath you.

you knew you’d get a noise complaint from your neighbor if you kept squealing the way you were, but you couldn’t help it. especially not when hyunjin bit down on your neck, tongue rubbing over the sensitive skin, making you let out an almost animalistic howl.

it felt like he was hitting the deepest parts of you, and you couldn’t get enough of it. the way his hair swayed, the way sweat was dripping down his forehead, the way he looked at you like he wanted nothing more than to tie you down and use you as his own personal sex toy. even the way he moaned when you clenched around him, god you were obsessed.

you felt a fire building in your abdomen as he leant back on his knees, eyes trained on watching his cock glide in and out of you, and you held your legs up to your chest to give him a better view. at that, he threw his head back and let out a heavenly groan, causing you to clench around him once again.

you snaked a hand down to your clit, rubbing it furiously as the leg it was holding fell into place naturally on hyunjin’s shoulder. you were so aching close, so close you could feel your walls begging for it, but you just needed a final push.

hooking your foot around his neck, you pushed hyunjin towards you, instantly grabbing his lips with your own. it was messy, and disgusting, but you loved it. all drool, and teeth clashing, tongues wrapped around each other like that's how they’d always been.

the new angle allowed hyunjin to reach ever deeper - hitting the deepest parts of you that you didn’t even know where possible. he reached a hand up to tweak at your nipple, and you whined into his mouth as it sent you hurling into an orgasm, back arching to push your chests together.

the way you clamped down on him sent him head-first into his own release, his hips stuttering as you felt each throb of his cock as he filled the condom. you were both breathing heavily, almost panting as he pulled away from this kiss, thrusting shallowly a few more times to ride you both through your release.

your chest was heaving, and you felt like you’d ascended. all floaty and gooey, head sinking into the pillow beneath it as your eyes fluttered closed in pure bliss. hyunjin peppered a few soft kisses across your cheeks as he carefully pulled out, rubbing your hips comfortingly when you winced.

“good?” he asked quietly, so quiet that your computer wouldn’t pick it up, and you nodded without opening your eyes.

“so good.”

you felt him crawl backwards and leave the bed, opening your bleary eyes to follow his figure around the room. you couldn’t bring yourself to move just yet, though. you thought all your bones had disappeared and you’d sink straight back into the bed if you tried.

once he’d come back to the bed from ending the stream and tossing the used condom in the bin, he scooped you into his arms and planted a soft kiss on your temple.

“you’re staying tonight, right?” you asked softly, nuzzling your head against him. “don’t think i can let you go after that.” exhaustion flooded your voice and he chuckled.

“course i am, silly. but we gotta get you showered, okay? then i can order in some food and we can watch a movie or something, yeah?”

you nodded softly.

“join me in the shower?”

“oh, i don’t think that’s a good idea, princess. you’re shattered.”

“please, jinnie,” you pleaded, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. “need you to cum down my throat before anything else, and sharing a shower means saving water, after all.”

he laughed at your enthusiasm, and nodded, agreeing.

“okay. okay, whatever you want. but then - food and sleep, okay?” he grinned, scooping you up in his arms to carry you to the bathroom.

taglist: join taglists here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @taeriffic @mits-vi @chanssmiles @5kayzee @queen-klarissa @torixx80 @fawnpeaks @bangtanmix73 @savluvsmingi @boi-bi-ahaha @skz-streamer @demetrisscarf @4evrglow @manj1ro @linocvpid @alextheweeb7 @chans-american-slave @unsweetenedpeatea @carpioassists @bangtancultsposts @reiheis @happilydeepestwonderland @leemidnightmoon @saintminaa @@hyunjinswifeee @watariisbestboy@hwangrimi @cherry-edibles @ivyisnotokay @yevene @puckmaidens

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[drewsprettygirl]

barbie girl ｡˚ ⋆꒰ა♡໒꒱⋆ ˚｡ 🎀🍉

mike wheeler x doll collector! fem reader

smut. this is fucking nasty so if u guys dont like mike wheeler smut just s c r o l l ♡♪

age pairing : 17-18

warnings : none

the exchange of looks and stares between you and a classmate of yours in chemistry bubbled across the hallway. you had taken an interest towards this boy, “wheeler” as you called him. his glare towards you always sent chills to your spine. or even to your throbbing— we aren’t there yet.

it wasn’t a joke that he was hot. he was really hot for a nerd. his fingers always got your panties in a bunch. his nose— oh god don’t even get started with his nose. his nose is perfect and to think of it, his curls were cute.

you guys were partnered up for a project and he had to come to your house to finish, and that’s how he ended up in your room, admiring your collection.

mike considered himself a gentleman, a respectable boy, but boy did he reconsider those words as soon as he saw what you were wearing. half of the time he was over, he was either talking to you or staring at your hardened nipples under your shirt due to the cold temperature of your ac.

“you collect barbies?”

“yeah.”

“don’t you think they’re kind of uh.. creepy? imagine sleeping and first thing you see when you wake up is a doll.”

“i don’t think so. they’re quite pretty to me, to be honest”

“i don’t really have a collection. i play dungeons and dragons.”

his fingers lingered on your barbie doll that you were quite fond of. your malibu barbie. a wave of confidence washed over you.

you had remembered the lingerie set you bought a couple of months ago on impulse. it wasn’t like you were actually planning to fuck someone. you weren’t a virgin. you had taken a few polaroids of yourself wearing the dainty pink lace panties and the bra that was almost spilling your huge breasts.

“i’ve got a barbie you can play with.”

mike felt his cheeks go red. what was she implying? immediately, dirty thoughts went onto his pretty head. he had always thought that y/n l/n was hot, first of all, she was a cheerleader. she was pretty. he just chose to ignore those lingering feelings he had because he didn’t want a relationship.

“is this gonna be a one time thing?” he asked. they were both slowly closing the gap between them, feeling their hot breaths on each other. “it’s up to you, mike.” slowly sliding down her own straps of her pink gingham tank top.

“i don’t want it to be a one time thing.”

“so do i.”

those words made him push over the edge, as you pushed him to your bed and straddled him on top, grazing your fingers on the evident bulge in his jeans. he pulled you to his face and you guys started to make out.

you unbutton his shirt while his hands were fondling your thighs, later you came to unzip his jeans and later his underwear, leaving him completely unclothed. he went to pull your tank top until you stopped him.

“ah ah ah. you don’t get to touch me.”

“come on y/n. please let me touch you—“

“you have to work for it, baby”

feeling defeat, you had tied mike onto your bed posts. your bed didn’t look any different to your barbies’ clothes. it was all styled in pink and lace.

you teasingly take your shorts off. leaving you in your sheer pink panties that made mike drool at the sight of your pussy. sitting beside him, you slowly pull your panties showing him your glistening core.

“i wanna touch you so bad, barbie girl.”

“good things come to those who wait, ken.”

you unclipped your bra revealing your tits. mike watched your breasts move with a slack jaw, the tip of his dick having a shade of an angry red. of course, you didn’t fail to see that so you did him a favor.

“you’re so big mike” “how will you fit in me?” you showered him with praises that didn’t fail to make him moan as your fingers were wrapped around his cock with your spit coated in it.

you crawl on top of him, only for his mouth to be met with your cunt. immediately he latched his mouth onto your pussy, and licked a stripe up, leaving you shuddering with his touch. kitten licks turned into big licks. big licks turned into sucking. the sucking turned into him plunging his tongue in and out your throbbing core, making you catch your high and throw your head back in pleasure.

mike grabbed onto your hips to support you, further, his hands started to dig onto your supple skin. “m-mike— i’m close- oh god” the overstimulation made you feel weak. you eventually started grinding on his face. it had only been a few minutes yet this boy had made you come more than 2 times. you felt yourself release, him lapping up your juices with his tongue.

you pulled off his mouth and collapsed on the other side of the bed. “you alright?” he asked. he sat up and looked at you, noticing your chest was heaving up and down.

“i have an idea.”

“well, we can make that idea happen if you untie me.”

“oh i will.”

you had grabbed your lipstick shaped vibrator from the drawer of your nightstand, mike parting his lips in shock of all the toys you have hidden in your drawer. you quickly untied his wrists from the posts of your bed, him immediately getting on top of you and starting to kiss you.

“what are we gonna do with that little toy of yours?”

“use it on me, please.”

“mmh, what if i don’t wanna?”

“i don’t take no for an answer pretty boy.”

next thing you know, you were sprawled in your bed. legs parted wide and mike dragging the vibrator across your pussy. “o-oh! oh my god- fuck!” you said gripping the sheets. he had increased the speed of the toy, making you buck your hips unconsciously. surprisingly you squirt. (bye wtf im crying how does squirting even work)

“oh god, you’re a squirter-“ “shut up!”

“i wanna fuck you even more now”

“then do it mike”

he had lined his cock up your pussy and started to ease himself in slowly. he starts to pound in your pussy in a controllable speed, then it goes faster. faster until you feel like your back was going to break after all that arching. you could even see the tip of his cock visibly inside your womb.

“shit— you feel so good barbie.”

“faster- faster- please baby”

loud moans were heard across the room. you were thankful that your parents were away this week for a vacation in italy. if your parents were home, god you would’ve been grounded for half the year.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“can i um— ask you something? its- its more of a favor but like—“

“what is it?”

“could you uh— ride me.”

you looked at him with a surprised look painted on your face. you didn’t expect him to ask you for a favor like that, as if you weren’t the one who started this fuck session with him. his cheeks were red out of embarrassment, you smiled as soon as you saw his face and agreed with his “favor”.

you flip each other’s positions, leaving him under you. you sink onto his dick, firstly, moving your hips back and forth, ending up with you vigorously bouncing on him.

his moans were loud. he was whining like a bitch, showering you with praises like “y/n you’re so good..” “so fucking beautiful” “you feel so great oh god—“ he felt himself slowly reaching his high. he didn’t have a condom on. “y-y/n i’m about to cum.” he spoke so softly.

“i didn’t put a condom on”

“it’s okay, you can do it inside.”

those words pushed him over the edge, releasing inside of you. as soon as you felt his cum inside you, the knots inside were erupted.

you collapsed on to the other side of the bed looking at him. his eyes shut and his lips parted, chest heaving.

“that was nice” you said. just so that the silence wasn’t so awkward.

“yeah. you know, i’ve always liked you.”

“you did?”

“yeah.” he said. kissing your lips softly. it wasn’t like anything you had done just a few seconds ago. it was a sweet kiss. the ones you share with pure love in it.

you guys were totally fucked up the next day tho, you had forgotten about the reason why he was even over at your house.

#mike wheeler #mike wheeler smut #mike wheeler lemon #mike wheeler fluff #mike wheeler stranger things #stranger things imagines #mike wheeler x reader #mike wheeler x reader smut #mike wheeler imagines #mike wheeler blurbs #finn wolfhard x reader #finn wolfhard smut

[verstappen-cult]

WAVE OF YOU, C. LECLERC.

PROLOGUE — NEXT CHAPTER. [ SERIES MASTERLIST ]

PAIRING. charles leclerc x female reader.

CHAPTER ONE SUMMARY — It looks like any other shift at the coffee shop until the presence of a brown haired boy with dimples changes everything. The same boy you meet at the beach several days ago — the one who stood you up.

CONTENT WARNINGS. female reader, use of Y/N, alcohol use, fluff & friends being a menace.

GWEN’S RADIO MESSAGE. OH MY GOD! i'm so sorry it took me so long, but i was in the worst writers block of all times and couldn't get out of it :( but i forced myself to finish this today and ta-dah! i really hope you like it, your comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated. remember that if you want to be added to the taglist, you can reply to this post, send me a dm or leave it in my ask box!

“Come on, girl! We can’t be late today.” You groan in frustration, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you watch Daisy shake the sand out of her fur. She sits and looks up at you with her tongue out, head slightly tilted to the side. “Good girl.” You say, giving her one of her favorite dog treats. You put the collar on her and she happily starts walking by your side. 

It’s a short walk, around ten minutes, from the beach to the coffee shop you started working at just two months ago. You like it so much that you probably spend more time there than in your own apartment. It’s cozy and family owned, and there is always a pleasant atmosphere even though there are always people coming in and out, one of the perks of having the shop so close to the beach. 

And everyone loves Daisy too, so you’re allowed to bring her with you. While you work behind the counter, she chills by the door in her bed with her favorite bunny plushie. She brings joy and bright smiles to every single person that visits the coffee shop.

You can’t believe this is your life. 

It wasn’t easy at first but making the decision to drop out of school and travel around the world wasn’t as difficult as breaking the news to your parents. And after everything you went through in these two years you deserve the good things and peace that is coming your way. 

It was all worth it, missing your family, waking up in the middle of the night wondering if you made the right decision, the good and the bad… it was all worth it. You wouldn’t change a thing because it brought you to this; to Australia and to the wonderful people you’ve met. 

“Good morning, Fred.” You say to the owner of the flower shop right next door to where you work. He smiles, waving goodbye to a client, before walking out to meet you. 

“Hello, sweetheart.” His smile is contagious. You like to pass by him before going to work everyday because seeing someone be so happy and positive every single day is exactly what you need. “How was the beach today?”

“I had to drag her out of there before she got into the water.” He laughs, crouching down to pet Daisy and, in return, she licks his face. 

Fred laughs and stands up, grabbing a bouquet of tulips. “These are for the shop,” He says before turning around and grabbing a single sunflower. “and this for you.”

Fred is a French man in his fifties that came to Australia following the love of his life. He didn’t have a plan, he just left everything behind; they’ve been married for thirty years. 

“Always so sweet, Fred.” You place a kiss on his cheek, waving goodbye with the promise to bring some coffee for him later. He watches you walk away with that same big smile on his face.

You open the door of Brew’d Awakening, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and baked pastries welcoming you, as well as the bulldog resting next to the door. 

“Hello to you too, Roscoe.” He huffs like telling you to hurry up. You let Daisy go and she immediately finds comfort next to Roscoe. 

There aren’t many people — it is still pretty early — just a couple of regulars that like to grab their first cup of coffee before heading to work or the beach. 

As you make your way to the counter, you find Kika sitting at one of the tables enjoying a cup of coffee while typing away on her laptop. 

“What are you doing here so early?” You ask, plopping down on a chair next to her. 

“Lewis wanted to discuss some things about the social media content,” She leans slightly to give your cheek a kiss. “and you’re meeting my boyfriend today.”

You gasp, turning to look at her with wide and surprised eyes. “What do you mean I’m meeting him?”

“I told you he’s gonna spend the summer here.” 

“Yes, but I also remember you telling me that he had to go back?” Daisy nudges your leg with her nose, and you immediately know what she wants. “So, he’s back then?” Kika hums while you look for Daisy’s plushie in your bag. 

“He’s coming because I left some things at his apartment.”

“So that’s why you didn’t come home last night.” She blushes, sticking her tongue out. “Whore.” Kika gasps, hitting you in the arm. 

“Hello, pretty ladies.” Your co-worker, who practically lives in your apartment now, leaves an iced latte in front of you. 

You take a sip of the drink, looking directly into his eyes. “I’m surprised I didn’t hear you sneak out this morning.” 

“What do you mean? I wasn’t there this morning.” 

“Alex, I literally heard you and Lily laughing at three in the morning,” Alex groans, sitting in front of you. 

“In my defense,” He points a finger at you and really tries to think of something, but comes out with nothing. “Whatever, you like me too much to kick me out.”

“Unfortunately, you’re right.” You stand up when the door opens and a new customer enters.

“Good morning, kid.” Lewis gives you a pat on the back when you join him behind the counter, you kiss his cheek in return.

You spend the morning taking care of the customers while Alex and Lewis are responsible of preparing and serving the orders. It is a quiet and nice morning, like most Saturdays are, and you love it. You owe Kika everything, because if it weren’t for her you wouldn’t have found the coffee shop in the first place. She recommended you and it was all Lewis and Nico needed to hire you. 

Lewis and Nico are a gay couple that, just like you, decided to settle down in Australia after traveling to different parts of the world. They opened Brew’d Awakening just five years ago but it’s going so well they have the opportunity to expand, but refuse to do it, knowing that the warmth and coziness of the Brew’d will be lost. You respect them for that. 

You’re about to swap shifts with Alex when Kika shows up in front of you, a shy smile on her face. 

“He’s here. I like him, okay? So, be nice.”

“I’m always nice!” You exclaim a little offended. 

“I know, sorry. It’s just — I’m nervous.” She looks around before leaning closer. “He brought his friends because apparently we’re doing this ‘trade’ thing where I meet his friends and he meets mine.” 

You hold your laugh, “Cute.”

“Stop making fun of me and come here or I’ll go mad.”

“I’m taking my break, is that okay?” You ask your boss, at which he nods, giving you a thumbs up. 

You take off your apron as you walk around the counter. Kika is waiting for you in the middle of the shop, looking like a nervous wreck. 

“I’ve never seen you so nervous before.” You place a hand on her shoulder, massaging to help her relax a little. 

“Meeting the friends is a big deal.” 

Well, she is right. You just didn’t realize how serious her relationship actually was until now. 

Daisy wags her tail as she makes her way to you. And you immediately lean forward to scratch behind her ears. 

You’re too busy to pay attention to the guy wrapping his arms around your friend and kissing her lips as a greeting. It is only when Kika clears her throat, kicking your leg to draw your attention, that you force yourself to let Daisy go.

“This is Pierre.” She says as you straighten back up. “Pierre, this is my friend Y/N.”

You look at the guy in front of you for a couple of seconds. His blue eyes are a little too familiar, but the more you try to remember from where you know him, the more you think that is probably just a coincidence. 

“Oh my God, you’re Y/N!” Pierre laughs, making you and Kika frown. “This is fantastic.”

“What is fantastic?” A voice draws your attention, making you look behind Pierre.

Your heart skips a beat the second you see a pair of green eyes.

The green eyes of the surfer boy you met a few weeks ago at the beach. 

Charles; who you never saw again.

It turns out that Charles wasn’t at the beach the next morning. You sat on the sand longer than necessary, thinking that maybe he was running late. But he never came. You didn’t see his friends either, so you simply picked up what was left of your dignity and walked back to your apartment with Daisy by your side. 

The morning after that you decided to confront him, but he wasn’t there. 

He never showed up at the beach again. And for a minute you thought it was all in your head, but that option was discarded when you bumped into the group of teenage girls sitting on the sand, wondering why the hot guys weren’t there. 

At least you weren’t the only one looking for them. 

You hadn’t thought about Charles in several days. 

And now he’s standing in front of you with a big smile on his handsome face.

Ugh, you had forgotten the dimples. 

“Y/N?” He asks, taking a step forward. “What are you doing here?”

“I work here.” You mutter bitterly, not wanting to engage in a conversation with him. 

It’s childish, you have to admit it, but why is he gonna ask to see you just to not show up? And, okay, you were going to the beach the next day either way but you got all excited for nothing. You really wanted to get to know him, maybe even ask for his number. He seemed like a nice guy and his accent made butterflies erupt in your belly. But that was before he stood you up. 

Kika looks between you and Charles with a confused expression on her face. You make the mistake of making eye contact with her because the next moment she’s gasping, her eyes wide as she finally puts the pieces together. 

“Charles is the boy you met at the beach?!” You want to cover her mouth with your hand but you can barely move. You love her, you really do, but right now you want her to shut up. 

Even from a distance, you can see the way his blush spreads over his cheeks. Charles runs a hand through his hair. You would pay a million dollars just to tangle your fingers in it to see if it is as soft as it looks. 

You’re dragged back to the present when the doors open and Charles’ friends walk inside. 

“Oi look who’s here!” One of his friends says — the curly-haired one — and they wave in your direction before walking to a nearby table. Daisy recognizes them, even though they were barely a few minutes in her presence, and she walks over to them. 

“Nice to meet you, Pierre.” You plaster on a smile, turning to face him and Kika. “I wish I could stay and get to know you better, but I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around.” Pierre smirks, nodding along. “Now, if you excuse me, I need to get back to work.” 

You walk back to the counter without looking at Charles again. Lewis looks at you with a raised brow and you shrug, that must have been the shortest break of all times. 

You’re putting on your apron in front of the cash register, a line of customers ready to order, when you see Charles joining the line and waiting for his turn. 

“Is that Kika’s boyfriend?” Alex whispers next to you while making an order. You look at where they’re sitting, the same table where all of Pierre and Charles’ friends are. They’re actually cute, unable to keep their hands to themselves. 

You nod, busy writing the last order. “Hi, welcome to Brew’d Awakening, what can I get for you?” When you look up you’re met with Charles' blushed face, a small smile directed at you. 

“Can we talk?” He looks genuinely nervous, and you feel a little guilty for making him feel that way. He’s the last one in line, so you nod. “I’m really sorry,” Charles breathes, closing his eyes. “I really wanted to be there the next morning but Pierre had to fly back to France and I couldn’t leave him alone.”

Your expression softens. He didn’t mean to stand you up then.

“We came back literally two days ago.” 

You feel really bad now. 

“Oh my God,” You let out a laugh, feeling embarrassed and so, so guilty. “I’m sorry. I guess I was a little hurt because I thought you stood me up — not that it was a date and we explicitly agreed to see each other.” You feel blood rushing to your face. 

“I wanted to text you but I didn’t have your number,” Charles frowns, a nervous smile dancing on his lips. “and I couldn’t find you on Instagram.”

Your entire body shivers and the corners of your mouth curl up. “You really looked me up on Instagram?”

“Yea’,” He chuckles, shrugging. “I wanted—no, I want to know you. You are really pretty—cool, I mean.”

“So you don’t think I’m pretty?” You lean forward, hands resting on the counter and supporting your weight. 

Charles' cheeks heat up as he tries to think of something to say, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. 

You take him out of his misery by giving him a little push on the shoulder. 

“I’m joking.”

Charles looks at you for a second, and then says, “You are. Pretty, I mean.”

It is your turn to blush furiously. You have to look away if you don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of him. 

“Are you gonna order or not?” 

You both turn to look at the person standing behind Charles, clearly annoyed for having to wait too long. He apologizes before turning back to you. 

“I’m gonna,” He points to the table where his friends are, and you nod, disappointed for being interrupted. 

It’s a little awkward because he stands there for a whole minute just looking at you before waving goodbye and walking away. 

The customer clears his throat and you’re dragged back to the present one more time. 

You hear Alex and Lewis laughing behind you. 

“Hey, we’re going to the club tonight.” Kika says as you clock out. 

“Who is we?” You ask, grabbing your purse and the iced latte you made for the ride home. 

“Pierre and a couple of his friends,” She takes a sip of her own matcha latte and sits on the counter. “You, Lily, Alex.” Kika pokes Alex’s ribs, who’s cleaning the counter next to her.

You chew on your bottom lip, the question is hanging from your tongue but you’re not able to voice it out. Kika must see the struggle on your face. 

“Charles is coming too.” She has a knowing look on her face, but doesn’t make fun of you or ask what is going on with his boyfriend’s best friend. “So, are you coming?” She knows you’re going even before you nod your approval. “Someone left this for you.”

Kika hands you a napkin with a number written on it, a “Charles x” underneath a phone number. 

Your heart starts hammering in your chest and you waste no time in pulling your phone out of your pocket to save his contact. You hesitate whether to message him or not when, suddenly, your screen lights up with a new message. 

If you can’t stop smiling on the way home from the coffee shop and while you get ready for a night out, nobody (besides Kika) needs to know. 

On the way to the club you think about every little moment and decision that has led you here, to this uber with your friends ready to spend a good night with new friends, and a pretty guy who’s clearly very interested in you. If someone would’ve told you two years ago that this was going to be your life, you would’ve laughed. 

You feel nervous, getting out of the car and walking into one of your favorite clubs in the city. 

The first thing you notice is the mass of people dancing along to the loud music. You think you’re gonna make your way to the bar as you always do the minute you walk inside but, instead, Kika guides you to where all the VIP booths are, near the back of the club and the DJ.

“Baby!” Pierre shouts over the music, drink in one hand. “And baby’s friends!”

“Oh my God, I think he’s already drunk.” Kika groans, making her way to her boyfriend and kissing his cheek before whispering something in his ear that makes Pierre blush. Okay, gross. 

There are a lot of people in the booth. You recognize some of Charles’ friends and a few other people you’ve never seen before. Everyone’s talking with everyone and you’re wondering what to do when someone places a hand on your back. 

“I was waiting for you.” Charles whispers with a low voice, and you feel weak in the knees immediately. 

You turn around to face him and are blinded by his bright dimpled-smile. 

“Hi.” You say, looking into those two green orbs you’ve missed. Just a little. “All my friends dumped me,” Looking behind Charles’ shoulder, you see Lily and Alex making out in the middle of the dancefloor, while Kika is sitting next to her boyfriend and talking with some of his friends. “so you’re stuck with me for the whole night.”

“Ugh,” Charles says, bringing his hand to his heart and pretending to be affected. “that’s horrible. Stuck with a pretty girl all night? I’ll just have to deal with it.” 

You lean your shoulder into Charles’ side playfully and he moves a little closer, his hand still on your back. Apparently, blushing comes like a second nature to you ever since you met Charles.

“Wanna grab a drink?” 

He doesn’t need to ask twice. 

Charles guides you to the bar, keeping you close with his hand that has dropped from your back to your waist. His closeness is intoxicating and you can’t help but lean closer. Charles seems comfortable with the proximity, so you stay glued to his side as you walk to the bar, where you’re forced to pull away.

He asks the bartender for your drinks — after asking, very politely, what you’d like to drink — and leans against the counter with you by his side. 

You tilt your head and observe him for a little while, Charles too busy grabbing your drinks to notice the attention. It is only when he turns to hand you the glass that he notices your gaze on him, his cheeks heating up immediately but his eye contact doesn’t waver. He just stands there with two drinks and people bumping into him, looking at you as if you’re the only person in the world.

You shake your head, grabbing your drink. “Thank you.” 

You don’t really know how much time you spend at the bar chatting with Charles, but you don’t want it to end. Charles tells you about his life back in Monaco, you learn that he came very close to the racing world before his father passed away and he decided to quit — not his younger brother though, who is currently racing in Formula 1 — and dedicate his life to his other passion: architecture. And in return you tell Charles more about your decision to travel the world and not going to college, he shares some of your opinions and you’re surprised how easily you’re able to share things about your life with him. 

“I don’t know where life would take me,” You take a sip of your second drink, resting your elbows on the counter. “but I’m happy where I am right now.”

“You should think about visiting Monaco, I’m sure you’ll fall in love with it.” Charles has a strange glint in his eyes that forces you to look away. 

“Hey, lovebirds!” A guy throws his arms around yours and Charles’ shoulder. You recognize him as one of his beach friends. 

“Dani.” Charles groans, but relaxes against his friend’s chest. “Where are Max and Lando?”

“With the DJ,” You both turn to look at the DJ booth, and right there next to him is Lando and, to his other side, the blonde guy you remember as Max. Both of them look very drunk. “Oscar wants to take them home but I said that as long as neither of them throws up, we’re good.” 

Dani asks for a couple of drinks and makes small talk. He’s absolutely hilarious and doesn’t stop making fun of Charles. 

“He kept asking us if we’d seen you. Every. Single. Day.” Charles pushes him away but that doesn’t stop him. “And sent like a thousand selfies pouting and trying to bribe us to look for you around the city.”

“Daniel!” Charles exclaims, mortified. He squeezes his eyes shut and drops his head forward. 

Dani just laughs and, once his drinks are ready, walks away. Still making fun of his friend. 

“It’s cute.” You confess, feeling brave enough to lift his chin up with your hand. “I’m glad you were trying to find me, even though I thought you had forgotten about me.”

“How could I?” He smiles, his dimples on full display. “Afraid of sounding like a complete psychopath, I’m gonna confess that the only thing on my mind while I was away was our interaction at the beach.” His cheeks are blushed as he plays with the buttons of his shirt. “And how sorry I was for not asking for your number.”

You’re one second away from falling to the floor and melting onto it. 

Charles is definitely not helping with the racing of your heart and the need to be a normal and a functional person. 

“I’m sorry,” Charles’ voice is gentle.

“Don’t be,” You place a hand on his forearm and squeeze softly before letting go. “Afraid of sounding like a complete psychopath,” You repeat his exact same words which makes him laugh, his whole face lighting up. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it either. Well, until I was beginning to get angry at myself for thinking about it even after you stood me up.”

Charles groans, putting his face in his hands. 

“I’ve a lot to make up for.”

He looks back up and you make eye contact until Charles glances down at your lips, then back up at your eyes. And the room suddenly feels too crowded and too hot. 

“You’ll have plenty of time for that.”

𓇼 — WAVE OF YOU, TAGLIST: @lovrsm @itsjustkhaos @evie-119 @sadbeautifuleva @c4tc0re @sargeantdumbass @brune77e @arian-directioner @lavisenri @starsnxva @a1leexxa @therealcap @anniee-mr @kakorrhaphiophobia @madd1115 @toxicdreamer296 @coffeebae0 @tempo-rary-fix @luca-is-a-pengu @charleslover24 @vettelsbees @iienstein @mehrmonga @ferraridepartment @fictional-l0v3r. 𓇼 [cursive means i couldn't tag you]

© verstappen-cult, 2024. — do not repost plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

#꒰꒰ 📁 ─ verstappen cult files ꒱꒱ #𓇼 — series: wave of you. #f1 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #f1 imagine #charles leclerc fluff #f1 grid x reader #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc smau

[honeypiehotchner]

Will you be my Valentine? (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- one shot

Happy (belated) Valentine’s Day! This one shot turned out to be a lot longer than I was expecting, hence why it’s being posted today instead of yesterday 😭 (Also the first scene with Garcia is 100% inspired by a TikTok I saw and the idea just spiraled from there)

Summary: Each time a new member of the BAU figured out Hotch had feelings for you...and when he finally told you.

Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff babes. It’s vile how cute this is

WC: 3.6k

Everyone knew Hotch had it bad from the first day you started working at the BAU.

There was a case on your very first day, so introductions were sparse before you boarded the jet. You met with Hotch, and the two of you talked briefly about how things work in general, though he said you’ll pick most of it up from actual experience.

The case was in Arizona, and it was a long one. But it didn’t take long for Garcia to see right through Hotch.

“So, um. How’s it going with the new agent?” Garcia asked, twirling her feathery pen back in Quantico.

Hotch shrugged. “Why are you asking me?”

“What is that in your voice?” Garcia said. She grinned. Say it ain’t so, she thought. Hotch, the Unit Chief, having a crush? This is too good. “Oh my god, you think she’s pretty.”

“Penelope--” he tried to stop her, to tell her she had it wrong because that would be wildly inappropriate, plus, his thinking that you were pretty had nothing to do with--

“Oh, you totally do!” Garcia giggled, ignoring his protests because he was deep in denial. Finally! A crush! “PG out, lover boy.”

He shook his head as she hung up on him, but he knew the blush was evident on his cheeks. He could feel it, so he knew everyone could see it.

Even you, who walked in a second later to ask him a question.

You saw the red tint on his cheeks, but thought nothing of it as he steeled his face once more before listening to your question.

+++

A few months passed since you began at the BAU, and still Garcia was the only one privy to Hotch’s secret. He thought.

“Have a good night,” Hotch said quietly as he passed your desk. You were gathering your things to head out for the night.

“Don’t stay too late,” you teased, shouldering your bag. You noticed he had a fresh mug of coffee in his hand. “You need sleep too, you know.”

“I’ll try,” he said with a smile as he bounded the steps up to his office. “Sleep well.”

Rossi watched (and heard) this interaction from his office. He waited until he saw you disappear into the elevator before he knocked on Aaron’s door.

“Come in,” Hotch said, not looking up from the paperwork at his desk until he realized it was Dave. “Hey, heading out for the night?”

“Not yet,” Rossi said, sinking down into one of Hotch’s chairs. “So…what are your plans for the weekend?”

Hotch eyed Rossi suspiciously. Every time Rossi began with that, it meant one of three things: 1. He genuinely wanted to know what Hotch had going on this weekend, 2. He wanted Hotch to do something with him, or 3. He was digging.

Digging for what exactly, Hotch never knew. Until Rossi caved and outright asked.

“What do you think of Y/N?”

Hotch shrugged. He continued working on the paperwork to distract himself. “She’s doing really well. She adapted quickly. I’ve been very impressed. Strauss has too.”

Rossi hummed. “Well, that sounded rehearsed.”

Hotch looked up from the papers, giving Rossi a tired stare. “What?”

“I asked what you think of her,” Rossi repeated, smiling smugly. “Not how she’s doing at her job.”

“What’s the difference?” Hotch returned to signing off reports.

“Oh, come on, Aaron,” Dave sat forward, tapping the desk. “I’m not that dense. And neither are you. You think she’s cute.”

“She’s very pretty,” Aaron answered without hesitation, regretting it immediately because it only gave Rossi more ammo.

“I knew it,” Dave grinned, sitting back again and clasping his hands together. “Well?”

Finally, Hotch put his pen down. “Well what?”

“Are you going to do something about it?”

Aaron grimaced. “You make it sound like it’s a problem.”

“It is if you never tell her,” Rossi pressed. He had lectured Aaron many times on the dangers of never telling a woman how you feel about her. Especially when it was clear she felt the same way.

“It’s inappropriate,” Hotch said, reverting to his usual defense.

“You’re both adults, clearly capable of making your own decisions,” Rossi replied with a shrug. Aaron knew that Rossi was the reason the No Fraternization rule existed, but he also knew Rossi was the first to say how much bullshit that rule was ladened with. “I don’t see the problem.”

Hotch glanced back down, scribbled a signature on Morgan’s report and tossed it aside, opening yours. He paused. “For one thing,” he started, flipping open your folder. “I don’t know how she feels.”

Dave stared at Aaron, wondering if the man across from him was being serious. As it turned out, Aaron was.

“If you saw what I did earlier, then you’d know she does,” Dave said.

Aaron shrugged again. “She’s nice to me because I’m her boss.”

“She’s civil toward you because you’re her boss,” Rossi clarified. “She’s nice because she feels the same way you do.”

Aaron sighed. He knew Dave meant well, but it was exhausting to listen to him. Aaron wanted to say something to you, but at the end of the day, he was your boss, and you his employee. It didn’t sit right with him. And if he ever did say something, that would be the first topic of conversation. It was too complicated.

Not to mention, he had only known you for a few months, and all of that time consisted of work settings -- save a few nights at bars or restaurants with some of the team.

“Ah, I see,” Dave said, nodding slowly. He stood up to leave.

“See what?” Aaron asked before Dave made it to the door.

“You’re too far in your head about this,” Dave said quietly. “Once you get out, you’ll know what to do.” And he left.

Aaron stared down at your report, your perfect handwriting. It looked far better than his, and miles better than Reid’s. It was very clearly yours, too. It fit your personality.

He closed the folder. The rest could wait until morning.

+++

Not long after Hotch’s talk with Rossi, Morgan was the next to put the pieces together -- and say something about it.

On the jet returning home from yet another case, everyone slept, except Hotch, Morgan, and Rossi. Reid curled up on the couch. Emily and JJ fell asleep in their seats, and you had taken over two other seats to stretch out. No one minded. Morgan gave you his jacket, against your protests. Hotch wished he had given you his, but Morgan had beat him to it.

Morgan noticed Hotch watching you wistfully while you slept, looking up every now and again from his tablet to check on you. Hotch’s eyes shot toward you impossibly fast every time you moved, watching for a moment to be sure you were alright before he looked away again.

After watching this for an hour, Morgan moved from his spot by Rossi to sit in front of Hotch.

“Hey,” Hotch said, nodding to Derek. “Can’t sleep?”

Morgan shrugged, biting back a grin. “I got a cat nap in. You?”

“I’ll sleep better in my bed,” Hotch replied. “I’m a little too tall for these seats.”

“Yeah, you always looked scrunched up,” Derek teased, jokingly mimicking the position Hotch once tried to sleep in. He woke up with one hell of a catch in his back. “Can I ask you a question?”

Hotch looked up, suspicious and a little scared. “Sure.”

Derek opened his mouth to speak and you shifted in your sleep again, causing Aaron’s eyes to shoot over toward you. His eyebrows drew together as he watched you, waiting for you to settle back down.

By the time Hotch looked back over, Morgan was smirking.

“What was your question?” Hotch asked.

“That right there,” Morgan replied, lowering his voice a little just to be sure you wouldn’t catch any of it. “What’s goin’ on?”

“What?” Hotch asked, feigning innocence, but he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks, and the smile he wasn’t able to hold back. “I don’t, uh-- What do you mean?”

“You should tell her,” Morgan said, starting to grin. “You really should.”

What Hotch didn’t know is that exactly two days before this, you confessed your feelings to Morgan. Only because he caught you smiling at Hotch, and you knew he wouldn’t give it up. Also because you were starting to go a little crazy, holding it in. But you called it a stupid crush and said it would go away. Derek didn’t believe you.

“No,” Hotch said, but he kept smiling. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Derek shrugged. “What’s the harm?”

Hotch stayed quiet, looked back down. He shook his head.

“Hotch, you gotta put yourself out there,” Derek whispered. “And you gotta do it before you’re too late.”

Hotch nodded slowly. He should’ve known you’d have someone else on your horizons. You’re much younger, far prettier than he ever thought to be real. No wonder someone else took notice. No wonder someone else was ahead of him.

“Seriously,” Morgan pressed a little further. “Valentine’s Day is coming up, y’know. Perfect timing.”

Hotch chuckled softly, shaking his head at Morgan’s wicked grin. “Alright.”

+++

Emily and JJ realized it at the same time you did, though you told yourself you were overthinking and making it all up.

Hotch had bought your coffee.

It didn’t seem that strange, or romantic even. You happened to be at a coffee shop down the street, waiting in line to order when Hotch got in line behind you.

The two of you talked while you waited. What a happy coincidence, both of you were there before work. Your heart fluttered with every word he said, every smile he showed and laugh he let slip. Even his jokes, you were flustered beyond belief.

And then he got your coffee for you.

He asked, and you were so shocked that you said yes. You couldn’t stop smiling and neither could he.

Truthfully, Aaron was over the moon. His heart was beating like crazy, and he wondered if you noticed his nervous laughter. (You did.)

When you got back to the BAU, walking in together caught Emily and JJ’s attention. Reid was in the middle of a book, and Derek was nowhere to be found (probably off with Penelope). But Emily and JJ immediately tuned in.

“Hey you two,” you smiled, walking around to your desk.

“Hey yourself,” Emily grinned, keeping an eye on Hotch as he walked up to his office, smiling to himself. “You’re in a good mood.”

“A very good mood,” JJ echoed, propping herself up on the corner of her desk. “You and Hotch got coffee?”

“Yeah,” you replied, thinking nothing of it. “I just ran into him at my usual place.”

Emily and JJ shared a look, raising their eyebrows.

“Just ran into him?” JJ asked, shrugging her shoulders.

“…yeah?” you laughed. “What about it?”

“Did he buy your coffee?” Emily asked quietly, biting back a grin. “That’s…” She cocked her head, giving you a look.

“It’s what?”

“It sounds like he likes you,” Reid piped up, eyes still focused on his book. “It was a romantic gesture.”

Reid had known for a while. He kept it to himself, though, because nine times out of ten, when he first picks up on these things, no one else has yet. And if he mentions it, it’s often invasive and people get defensive, because it’s something they don’t want to think about.

So, he’s kept it quiet. But he has noticed. And now it’s getting obvious.

Your mouth remained open in shock. Hotch? Having a crush on you? That seemed ridiculous. Impossible, even. He’s your boss, for crying out loud. Not to mention, older and…does he even date? He doesn’t talk about his personal life. You know he’s divorced, but that’s it.

“No,” you laughed awkwardly. “I mean, I buy my coffee for my friends all the time. I’ve bought you guys coffee,” you gestured to Emily and JJ. “It’s fine, right?”

“It’s fine,” Emily shrugged. “Yeah, it’s fine, it’s not anything serious.”

“Just a coffee,” JJ agreed, although both of them still didn’t fully believe you.

It was friendly, sure, but the kind of friendly that had romantic undertones and intentions.

But you didn’t want to think about that because it felt impossible. They were reading too far into it, that’s all.

It’s a running joke that joining the BAU is a death sentence for your love life, so it’s a regular conversation, that’s all.

That’s all, you told yourself. That’s all.

+++

The BAU rang in February with a new case, this one in Alabama. It took a week or so to solve, and by the end of it, you were all exhausted. Yet you needed to eat, so the team went out for dinner.

Somehow — you never really know how this happens — the conversation veered toward Valentine’s Day. Derek brought it up, purely because he and Penelope are planning to spend it together watching the worst rom-coms imaginable.

“I don’t know, it just kinda bums me out. I never look forward to it,” you said, expecting to be in the majority at the table, but you weren’t.

“What?” Derek said. “We’ve gotta change that.”

You smiled at him, though it felt like he was pitying you.

“Why does it bum you out?” Hotch asked earnestly.

You hadn’t expected him to say anything, let alone to ask you a question. “Because,” you started. “I guess I just see all these happy couples, and the cards and balloons and flowers and chocolates and it’s— It’s just too much to look at.”

“You know, most of the happiest couples on Valentine’s Day are actually struggling in their relationship,” Reid said, mid-chew.

“What statistics back that one up, pretty boy?” Morgan teased.

“Just an observation,” Reid shrugged, swallowing.

“I know,” you replied. “I know statistically — also just from experience — that they’re not that happy, but still. They still look it. And it’s, you know, it’s sad.” You paused, not wanting to finish your sentence but you knew you had to because you dug this hole for yourself. “Because…I know that I’ll never have that.”

“What makes you say that?” Hotch asked, his voice quiet with concern.

“Yeah, Y/N,” Emily said, her face sad as she shook her head solemnly. “You don’t know that.”

“But…I do.” Your smile was a soft, sad one born from acceptance. “I never have had it, and it just seems so unlikely for me. Besides, I don’t want to be pretending to be happy and in love. That would be worse than being single.”

“Not everyone is pretending,” Hotch said, his eyes soft.

“Maybe,” you shrugged. “I didn’t mean to take over the table, guys. Let’s— JJ, what are you and Will doing?”

The conversation went back into safer territory, as JJ told the table that her and Will would probably do something small after Henry went to bed. Or maybe a dinner, after Spencer offered to babysit.

“Yeah, or I could babysit,” you offered. “You guys should have a date.”

“Uh, you should too,” Emily said. “You’ll find someone.”

“Considering Valentine’s Day is in three days, I doubt it.”

The table was silent for a moment, but Rossi broke it. “You’ll find someone,” he said with his small smile. “You’ll see.”

You rolled your eyes. It wasn’t unlike Rossi to talk like a fortune cookie.

+++

Aaron wanted to throw up.

Well, he wouldn’t go that far, but he certainly was nervous. He didn’t even know if you’d show up.

But he waited. Inside the coffee shop, at a table by the window, he waited. The barista kept giving him this look, like she pitied him because it was Valentine’s Day and he was sitting at a table for two. Alone.

He texted you and asked if you wanted to grab coffee, but you hadn’t texted him back — yet. Still, he needed something to do today, so he came anyway.

Why did he give everyone the day off? He felt ridiculous.

What Aaron didn’t know was that a few miles away, you felt even more ridiculous.

“It’s not even a date!” you cried over the phone. “What the hell am I so worked up for?”

“Because you like him!” Penelope gushed. “And he clearly likes you. Oh, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!”

You laughed at her as you worked your boots over your heels. “Relax, Pen.”

“I won’t!”

“Okay, well, I need to go because he texted like…an hour ago and I’m not even on the way. God, what if he’s already left? I bet he—”

“Shush! No more! You have a hot date and no room for self-doubt, now go!”

“Fine, fine, I’m going. Let me text him that I’m leaving— Penelope.”

Your heart dropped out of your ass. There, staring back at you, was your text message that you meant to send an hour ago. You forgot to hit send.

“I forgot to hit send!” you screamed, flying toward the front door. “I’m such an ass!”

“No you’re not!” Penelope yelled back. “Call him!”

“I can’t!”

“I will literally add him to this call right now if you don’t—”

“Don’t you dare!” You promptly hung up with her and called Aaron. “Come on, pick up. Pick up, please, pick up—”

“Hello?”

“Hi!” you sounded out of breath. “Hi, I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot. I meant to text you back, but it didn’t send, and I know that sounds like a stupid excuse, but I swear it’s true—”

“Y/N—”

“If you’ve already left, that’s okay, God I feel so bad—”

“Y/N,” he said again. He sounded like he was smiling. “It’s okay,” he chuckled. “I haven’t been here that long.” He had. But you didn’t need to know that, because it was irrelevant. He would wait years for you.

“I’m on my way now, I swear to god,” you said, laughing a little. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be there.”

“Do you want your usual?” he asked.

Your heart skipped a beat. He knew your order. Your usual. “Yeah,” you said. “Please. Thank you.”

“No problem,” he replied, still smiling. “I’ll have it waiting for you.”

Relief. “You’re the best.”

By the time you made it to the coffee shop, Aaron did, in fact, have your coffee waiting for you. Along with your favorite pastry from their bakery. Today, it had a pink heart on it.

He stood to his feet when he saw you come in. You looked flustered, yes, but beautiful beyond measure. He didn’t know if he was going to be able to stop himself from fainting.

You felt the same way. Seeing him out of the suit never ceased to amaze you. He wore a nice black button down today with jeans. He still looked unbelievably handsome, his hair fluffier than usual, not as slicked down as he does it for work.

“What’s all this?” you asked, sheepish. A red rose laid across the table, your favorite pastry sat next to your coffee. It was all so…sweet. “Aaron, you didn’t have to…”

He shrugged. “I wanted it to be special.”

He sat down after you did, his stomach doing somersaults. He didn’t want to point you in the direction of his question so blatantly, but he was getting impatient. He just wanted to blurt it.

Before he could, though, you turned your cup toward you and saw the writing on the side. There, in Hotch’s unmistakable all-caps handwriting, was one question: Will you be my Valentine?

You gasped, then pouted, shocked by it all, but so, so happy. Deep down, you wanted this to happen, but you never let yourself believe that it really could or that it really was.

“Really?” you asked him, looking up from the writing.

He nodded slowly, a soft smile spreading across his lips. “I know you said you don’t like the holiday, but I thought you at least deserved to have a happy one. At least once.”

You didn’t know what to say. “That’s… That’s so sweet, Aaron, wow, okay. Yes.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Yes what?”

You grinned. He’s so cute. “I’ll be your Valentine.”

“Oh!” he laughed. “Right. Sorry, I’m so nervous.”

“Me too,” you confessed. “I was on the phone with Garcia before I came-- She knows, by the way. She insisted this was a date, but I told her not to be delusional and-- Is this a date?”

“If you want it to be,” he said. “I’d like that.”

“I’d like that too,” you murmured. “A lot.”

“Would you like to…” his voice trailed away. “I am so bad at this.”

Instinctively, your hand reached across the table and rested on his. “No you’re doing great!”

He smiled, his cheeks flushing red at your touch. He turned his hand over and clasped his fingers around yours. “Would you like to do this again? I don’t want this to just be today. I’d like to…see where this goes.”

“Me too,” you breathed, so relieved you could almost cry. “I’d love that.”

“And,” he added, enveloping your hand in both of his. “Penelope was the first to know. She saw right through me.”

“When?” you laughed. It was hard to imagine Penelope Garcia cornering Aaron Hotchner on something like this.

“I think it was your first case,” he admitted, the blush seeming permanent on his cheeks now. “I guess how I spoke on the phone gave me away.”

“The first day?” Honestly, it gave you a bit of an ego boost.

He nodded. “The very first.”

“That’s…adorable.” There was nothing else to it.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #hotch #hotch fluff #hotch x fem!reader #hotch x reader #Happy Valentine's Day #MWAH #love you guys #fluff

[rosie-writings]

You’ve Got my Body, Flesh, and Bone Part One

Summary: You didn’t think you would let it go this far, but alcohol always gives you the bite to challenge Colby until you’re both faced with the things that keep you from being together.

Warnings: Colby x Reader smut, Angst, Slow Burn, Dom/Sub dynamic, Best Friends to Lovers, slight Predator/Prey kink, Overstimulation, Bondage, Overstimulation, slight Subspace

Words: 23.4k

No Y/N Used

Title is from ‘The Summoning’ by Sleep Token

Part Two

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my friends to death and back and then some, but they could be real fucking idiots sometimes.

Most of the time.

Perhaps I simply had a more conservative outlook on the dating culture in LA, or maybe I was traumatized enough where my hopeless romantic naive middle school girl heart turned into an all or nothing brittle young adult woman heart. Nothing was wrong with that, I didn’t think, until I moved to LA to live closer to my new friends.

I met them after my YouTube and Instagram exploded, which I know I said I would never do, but they truly were the most amazing people I met. 

My friendship with Sam and Colby didn’t end after they invited me and one of my friends to film a video with them. I knew who they were; we interacted on social media plenty of times but never communicated privately. I also was keen on truly finding out more about the spiritual realm, so when I followed them into that haunted mansion, there was no room for bullshit. 

I guess they respected that because not even 24 hours later, Colby was asking for my number. 

Maybe I was an idiot and gave it to him.

I genuinely thought it was purely so we could have an easier time than clogged dm’s to collaborate again. And it was. We strictly talked about spirituality and paranormal activity for six months. I always asked about their investigations and he always enthusiastically responded. 

I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. 

The messages developed into something else, something with seemingly less purpose, in the autumn. I remember it being mid October when Colby sent a photo of himself. It looked like any other Snapchat or Instagram story he would post, but then I looked on his social media and realized that this photo was taken just for me. 

Which was fine; I didn’t think twice about it. In fact, I felt excited because he trusted me enough to ask about the new merch sample they received. Of course it looked good and there were now flaws to pick out. I picked out a couple to make sure he stayed humble. Of course they were lies.

I learned a month before that they had private socials for their friends only. And, oh. The amount of tomfoolery that went on behind that firewall was better than the latest show I binged. For one, I didn’t realize that Colby saw a different girl basically every night. At least I think they were different girls.

At heart, I’m 100 percent a girl’s girl and I will always see the value in every girl but goddamn; I didn’t realize how easy it was to make yourself look exactly like someone else. I mean, down to the exact shade of brunette hair, body type, and sometimes eye color? It felt like I was the delusional one and tripping out on his new girlfriend. That wasn’t what it was though. A different girl was tagged everytime. 

The boys weren’t unfamiliar with posting edgier photos whether it be in the middle of an abandoned place that could crumble and kill them before they thought to react, or it be them posing with minimal clothing or some kind of flirtatious caption in the description. Those weren’t bad things, but they were new to me, and honestly, it kind of melted down the anxiety I built in my head about posting new photos on Instagram. Suddenly it didn’t feel like I had to be perfect and get the perfect shot anymore; a lot of it was shock factor. 

Which the boys did exceptionally well.

My friends bulldozed their way through the beginning of 2024. It was entertaining, to say the least, but when I saw photos of their New Year’s party, I was taken back by how minimal they turned out. I came across four photos. A girl kissed Sam at midnight, Colby’s arm was around a girl’s waist, the two of them with probably nine other people in a cute group shot, and the last one was them outside the club the party was at—darkened city streets and palm trees that glistened with New Year’s sparkles and confetti were behind them—and I loved those photos. All of them.

But they weren’t the full picture. Definitely not the full picture. 

I vividly remember turning the corner with friends into one of the secluded cut outs of lounge space. My best friend and I tried to find more friends and, well, we found them. Firstly, I would admit that the music was so loud I felt the bass in my bones, so maybe that had something to play. I also was in the double digits of how many combined drinks and shots I had, so there was that as well.

But when we turned the corner, I remember the same girl who kissed Sam at midnight was on his lap kissing him again, only this time she fully grinded on him and he didn’t even raise a hand to stop.

Which, okay, to be fair, whatever I don’t care. What caught me off guard was the complete lack of care from everyone else as well. I’m not sure if I have the confidence to practically have sex in a semi-public space with all my friends around me, but whatever.

What bothered me more, somehow, was the way Colby’s hands wouldn’t leave that girl’s skin—the same one he kissed at midnight—and I didn’t know why. Maybe I did, but it was more of a complete annoyance than anything. Maybe some disapproval as well.

He was with someone different just the night before—it was on his Instagram story—and he hooked up with the same girl multiple times during the trip we all took during Christmas. At least he was with her for an entire week rather than one day.

It wasn’t my business though, so naturally, I didn’t give a fuck nor did I say a word. It was so easy to behave like it didn’t affect me in any way or leave a bad taste in my mouth, because it didn’t.

”Hey!” I instantly broke into a smile when Tara met us halfway from the couches and drinks and friends and confetti and the making out— “Where have you guys been?”

”We had drinks and kind of got lost dancing with people,” I laughed. It was the truth and considering the flush in our cheeks and the more unkempt pieces of hair down our backs, Tara didn’t question it. Her hand linked with mine and she dragged us to the left side of the room; black leather couches lined in a semicircle. 

And that was when the night truly began.

It also finished there when one of us passed out; I don’t remember who but I swear it wasn’t me.

My night finished when I emptied my guts on the street outside. I think Tara’s hands were in my hair and Colby’s voice was quiet and close to me. I’m pretty sure the sun was rising when we stepped foot in that Uber.

So that was as far as my friendship with Sam and Colby had gone. They were fantastic at their jobs, cared deeply about their work, and cared even more about the supernatural and what’s beyond, and they partied hard.

It was true. I scanned over the last few messages between us. I didn’t mean to leave Colby on read. Something sprouted in me from that moment. I couldn’t fully comprehend what it was. Maybe it was the abrasiveness of the photo, or maybe it was because I didn’t anticipate Colby ever crossing that imaginary boundary. This photo didn’t just cross it, he shot a hundred yards past and then some.

That look in his eyes—the subtle desperation in his text—something, somewhere, did it for me.

It was completely unsolicited as well. Well, unwarranted at least. Once I saw the photo it was solicited in every way imaginable. I didn’t understand where those intense feelings came from. It was intangible.

My stomach soured inside of me. It had me spiraling. Every look, every touch; Colby hardcore gave himself away. It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want it, no, not even that.

It was the fact that I loved it. 

That caught me off guard. That nearly scared me.

It was no secret that a while ago, before we even interacted on social media, Colby drunkenly uncovered some too-personal details on the internet. And of course the internet ran wild with them. It kind of became part of his persona which he bravely embraced—which I admired because if I were in his situation, I would coil up and die—and it surpassed the internet’s perception of him as well. 

But the underlying tone of his photo, of his text, completely betrayed that persona I was familiar with.

So I waited. 

And waited.

I didn’t mean to leave him on read before the photo, but after he sent it, I left him on read with purpose in order to see what came of it. If he was willing to send that one desperate photo after an accidental ignoring, what would he do if it was deliberate?

It wasn’t very dominant of him to lace his photos and matching words with yearning like that.

I groaned as I rolled over in my chilling duvet. My arms stretched above me and my vision darkened. Damn right it was 6am, and I innocently woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep so I checked my phone. It still lodged in my stretched hand.

It buzzed again.

Unfortunately, he and I both knew that he was right.

I rolled out of bed and my legs tangled in the slick white sheets.

I haphazardly made my way into my en suite and flicked on the light. The eye bags were out to say hello this morning, which checked out. I was nearly 27; why the hell did I allow a grown man to get me out of bed to go outside before my body willed.

”Jesus Christ,” I gasped at his behavior. So, naturally, I snapped a photo of myself in the mirror.

‘Better?’ I typed and hit send with trembling hands. He didn’t respond.

My heart pounded.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have sent that.

If he spits out his own medicine then he shouldn’t have offered it to me.

With shaking hands, I got myself ready as requested.

It hadn’t always been like this even though it felt so. 

Our relationship evolved and with every text, it dramatically developed into something more than a professional one. Like a friendship, at the very least, and now here I was finding myself lacing my shoes for this man before seven am to go to some… place. 

Eight days ago we came back from a long trip of filming content for their channel.

Five days ago Sam asked us to go pick up shit for this party that was forgotten in transit or something. It was the first time we were alone together, and while the task was simple and mundane, it was fun.

Fun enough for me to say yes to him all the time apparently, because four days ago, Colby asked me to come to a photo shoot for their next merch launch.

Three days ago, Sam, Colby and I went out with Tara, Jake and Johnnie and took photos afterward.

Two days ago we partied hard with the gang again.

And yesterday, well, yesterday I went to Sam and Colby’s house for no reason.

We had breakfast, relaxed for once, and did nothing.

Nothing was so entirely great.

Now when I left my apartment that morning, he was already there waiting for me. We didn’t live close enough to walk, but maybe two exits at most from each other. 

“Wow you look so happy to see the sun,” Colby remarked. My squinted eyes glared back at him. I forgot to change my hair from its bed head state in any way. A piece of it dangled in front of my eye bags. He only laughed back at me. 

“I’m here. I didn’t say I would be happy about it.”

”Don’t worry, you will be soon.” I didn’t respond because I didn’t want to get too snappy. I knew I was joking, but the lack of caffeine and over abundance of morning light did not fare well in me.

”Here is this,” he said before he even gave me a thick enough pause to reply. I looked over and he pulled an energy drink from behind my chair. It was cold. “Palatable offering, I hope.”

”It is,” I laughed and snapped it open.

For an early morning, it was fairly a quick drive on the freeway to this mystery location.

”We’re flying to Australia soon.”

”Oh really?” I gasped and looked over at him. The sun brightened this side of his face. ”Damn.”

”Yeah, we’ve put it off for so long and it’s finally happening. We’re so excited.”

”I bet. Wait, when are you leaving?”

”Six days.”

”That is really soon.” His eyes widened with a sigh.

”Yeah.”

”What, unprepared?”

”As much as we should be prepared already considering how long we’ve wanted to go, yes. Very much so unprepared. We’ve been running around like crazy trying to get things in order at any time we can.”

”So this morning?” He shook his head. I hadn’t looked away from him for a second as we spoke. He kept his eyes on the road.

”How dare I take a tiny break for myself.”

”Naturally you invite me then?”

”I suppose.” By the quiet tone of his voice, I didn’t push. I didn’t prod or step across a line. 

I don’t think I even stepped on it. I ran away from it.

”DId Tara mention that we’re going to New York and staying there until Tana and Brooke get there while on tour?”

”Oh shit, no she didn’t. Wait, she did go on their podcast recently.”

”Yeah. Two weeks ago she did. I went with her and we talked for so long. We literally canceled our next plans and decided that we would catch up again in New York when they got there. I think they have a good five days off or something to stay there a week.”

”Oh sweet, when are you leaving?”

”March second.”

”Oh shit, that’s the day we get back from Australia.”

”Oh really?” 

There was silence. 

“And when do you get back?”

”The plan is to be back by March 12th but we’ll see if that happens.” For the first time since he gave me the drink, he stole a glance from me.

”You’ll see?”

”Tara was talking about going to uh—God I forgot, a specific place, though, for spring break with some other girls too. I think we may be back to re-pack and then head there.”

”Oh okay, okay.” My stomach swarmed with butterflies. I couldn’t pinpoint why. I was overly excited for our trips; it had been a while since I went anywhere for a break and to spend time with myself and the girls, and myself and the girls only. 

We parked. 

It was a bit farther than I anticipated, but there were less people and mainly lone hikers who risked more of a challenge in the early morning. I didn’t mind. I was simply here for the ride and grateful that I could keep up with Colby.

”Sam and I came here a while ago because we saw it and were curious. It’s a really nice place for photos and to walk in silence.”

”Oh silence. I love that.”

”Yeah,” he laughed. “I know.”

So we walked in silence. 

The hills rolled and seemed to touch the skies in some places. Even in the winter chill, the sun warmed my face and within ten minutes both of our hoodies came off. Dust emitted from the ground but stayed. It was dry as hell and not as windy as usual so we were covered in it. 

“This way,” he said and we veered to the left up a steeper route of white rock. Thistles of cacti and various plants I was afraid to touch nipped at our ankles as we calculated our steps on the small jut outs lodged in the hill.

Then, near the top and to the right, Colby reached a eight to twelve foot—I wasn’t quite sure—plateau. It wasn’t a long drop to our ground, per say, but the sun’s light was cut from where I stood. I basked in the shade as Colby climbed up with his long ass nimble legs.

”Here,” he said and his hand reached to mine. I climbed the first few feet of rocks before taking his hand.

Maybe I should not have been as enthusiastic to hold his rough dirty hand if even for a few split moments.

Once on top, there was another few yards of elevation until we reached the peak that I supposed he and Sam found before. They weren’t wrong. This portion of the hill was fairly tall compared to the rest, and while we stood in the dusty rocks of the peak, the other side was a grassy downslope that fell straight towards the valley from which we came. Morning light streaked across the city in pinks and oranges while the tips of buildings and hills on the other side of the city reflected mature midday sun.

Maybe getting out of bed this morning wasn’t all that bad.

“Oh my god, you were right. This is a fantastic place.”

”See?” He replied happily. “And there’s really no one who comes out this far.”

”I know. Maybe we should come back for photos since you left me out the first time.”

”Well when we do come back for photos, you will have been here the same amount we have so it’s like we didn’t leave you out.”

”What are you talking about? You’re here now.”

”Well… It’s fine. We’ll still come back.” 

More silence.

I sat down first. Colby sat next to me and leaned back on his hands. 

“Right that way,” Colby started as he pointed quite to the right of us; east. “Sam and I filmed this one video. I don’t think we can see the plateau very well from here, but it was the one where this guy in a cloak threw a cross over us and into the valley.”

”Oh shit, wait,” I gasped. “I remember that.”

”Yeah,” he scoffed. “Sometimes I think about all the weird stuff that happens at night only for the morning to feel so peaceful.” 

“It’s almost as if your mind plays tricks on you.” He gave me a look.

”Wow, I guess Sam and I and also the camera hallucinated that damn cross.”

”Oh my god,” I laughed. “No but, he threw that thing damn far.”

”I know! It was even crazier in person because it wasn’t light when we picked it up.” I looked back to the valley. The white rocks descended into purples and blues where a few highways entered and exited.

”Do you think he’s the reason you got all scratched up?”

”Oh god, I have no idea.”

”Or do you think whatever it is just stays here?” Colby shrugged but kept his gaze across the sea of hills. I could tell; he tried to identify the property they were on but couldn’t.

”I don’t know. If it does, it sure isn’t in charge of the morning, is it?”

”No.” My voice was quiet. 

My heart pounded.

When would it get a rest?

I opened my mouth before I thought about it.

”Why didn’t you bring Sam?” My seriousness was probably enough to tell him that I meant bringing him in this moment instead. He shook his head before he spoke.

”I didn’t—It’s not that I didn’t bring him. I just wanted you to come.”

”Oh. I see.” 

“You said yes,” he laughed.

”Maybe I just like doing nothing with you. All we do it work and run around like crazy all the time.”

”That’s true.”

Another pause.

”This weekend was really nice though,” I admitted. He looked at me. I didn’t look back.

”It was, I think.”

”Because yeah we probably got too fucked up on Friday and Saturday nights, but just relaxing and not doing anything with you guys is actually nice.”

”You say that as if you expected it to be awful.” I smiled and shot him a look. 

“No I don’t. I just mean that it’s nice to see you—all of you—not stressed until you want to drink yourself to death.” Colby sighed.

”No, you’re right.”

”I know I’m right.”

”Yeah, and humble.” 

“Shut up,” I laughed and shoved his arm slightly. It gave out and he caught himself.

When we straightened ourselves and leaned back like we were, his hand accidentally landed close to mine. It didn’t touch me, but I felt the warmth between us.

This silence was still. Brutally, peacefully, still.

My tongue clamped to the roof of my mouth. I heard my heartbeat in my ears. As I tried to find something within the horizon to take interest in, the corner of my eye caught the expression on his face. He too looked forward, eyebrows pressed serious, and lips parted.

I would think he was lost in thought and had been for a while now.

As I looked at him slowly, his finger ever so slightly lifted and came over mine. I don’t think it covered but half of my finger, and I wasn’t sure if he touched it all that much. But it was there and I waited for the weight of it.

”Let’s get up. You haven’t posted on Instagram in, what? Three months? Why should we wait to take pictures later?”

”Bitch,” I gasped and sat forward. He looked at me. His eyes were still thoughtful and dark. But his mouth lifted to a smile. “I look like shit.”

”No you don’t.”

I left it at that.

A handful of photos—for both of our feeds—later, and we coasted down the hill twice as fast as we came up. My ankles were almost too weak to handle it from the photo session. I tensed my entire body to shake the thoughts away. My hands were so slick by the time it was my turn to snap photos of him that I thought I would drop his phone. I held my breath the second his shirt came up and off his body. I only really stared at the screen.

There was something about that moment that seemed too close, too serious, for me to look at him not through a screen.

It wasn’t that I hadn’t seen him half dressed before; it was basically his everyday wear. For some reason though, out by ourselves alone in the valley made it seem ten times more intimate. I’ve been alone with him in his bedroom when he hardly wore clothes, I’ve fallen asleep next to him on flights, in beds, on sofas. 

It wasn’t like this. My eyes couldn’t retreat from the areas the sun reflected on his skin.

When we got in the car, suddenly it was stuffy and hot, and we tossed our clothes to the backseat before Colby turned the A/C on high.

”Jesus Christ, it’s February!” He shouted. I laughed and held onto my drink. Of course it was flat and not cold anymore but it was something for my aching throat.

I forced myself to look forward even as his hand subconsciously met the back of my chair when he began to back from the parking space. Even with the over abundance of cameras on this damn car, he still never used them. 

“Aw shit,” Colby laughed as he looked at his phone.

”What?”

”Sam asked where the fuck I was.”

”Oh my god—“

”And then just asked to grab food on the way back.”

”Let’s get food then.” 

I spent the rest of the day with them.

When I walked into their spare bathroom downstairs, I paused as I turned on the lights.

My hair was a mess, my tan popped against the dark sports bra that caked with dust, and in the reflection were sun dazed eyes. Then I looked to the counter and the room spun.

Half of my make up and products I used to get ready sprawled across the granite counter. I forgot that on Saturday night I got ready here before we went out, and Tara sat in the bathtub eating her dinner and entertained me while I did so. My shampoo, conditioner, and body wash were in the shower. I looked back at myself in the mirror.

My towel hung behind me.

”Come on!” 

“I’m hurrying!”

”Let’s go!”

”Fucking trying, bitch!”

”You’re walking!”

The door slammed.

”Impatient animals, Jesus fuck,” Tara sighed. She turned back to me. I backed away from the mirror. 

“Wait we look hot let me—“ And Tara grabbed her phone and snapped mirrors selfies with the both of us before we exited the bathroom.

”Just put your shoes on in the car or else Sam will leave us here,” I told Tara. My shoes were also in my hand.

”Right, right,” she grumbled. “Coming.” I stood at the front door and waited for her. I scowled at the raging black clouds in the sky. There was no way we would make it into the studio before the storm began. “Surprisingly my ex-boyfriend would never treat me like this,” she grumbled as she hopped past me. I scoffed a laugh.

”Yeah because he knew he’d get his ass beat.”

”I mean you’re not wrong.”

We hopped in the back seats of Sam’s car, and that was how we started the last night we all had together before over a month of separate travels.

To be fair, we were running over 30 minutes behind to get the photoshoot we should have been ultra prepared for. We planned it nearly six days ago after Sam complained about not being a part of our morning photoshoot in the hills. Tara came along because, obviously.

Bickering was the only way for us to relieve the stress of not getting into the car as soon as we needed.

”If I find another one of these in the car, I’m fucking throwing it away,” Colby spat and chunked whatever tube of makeup into the bag Sam held.

”Excuse me, that was mine—“

”Was,” Colby cut me off with a little too much emphasis.

”I’m pretty sure they stopped making those—“

”God fucking thank you then. Now I don’t have to throw one away everytime I climb back here to get shit.”

”You throw them away?” I cried. Colby glared at me from where he leaned inside the trunk of his car. 

“Yeah? They would end up crawling back over here anyway.” I rolled my eyes at the muted pitch of his voice. 

We stood at the back of the car for all but ten seconds while we each grabbed different things for the photoshoot and the podcast we were about to film and within those ten seconds, the angry clouds decided it was a good time to rain down on us.

As Colby slammed the back shut, I followed Tara straight for the door to the back of the studio. She already was safe under the patio cover. 

The tension in the air wasn’t funny or a joke anymore.

I repeated the expression I saw on Sam’s face in my head when I whirled around and followed Tara. He wasn’t messing around anymore. He didn’t look at me and only stared at Colby waiting for his next command. 

Needless to say, it never came.

Colby didn’t say another word until we were on the set.

It had been a few minutes. We caught our breaths while our hair and makeup were freshened. Tara and I gossiped between ourselves to calm down and keep ourselves occupied.

And then it was time for photos.

This morning we woke up late. We went out last night and didn’t set alarms. With two podcasts and a photoshoot scheduled, the day started off high stress. We scrambled to get ourselves to the podcast. We surprisingly were only ten minutes late.

This time, however, we somehow were not as lucky. 

Between getting food, driving across the city, and changing, we didn’t get enough time in between the first podcast and the photoshoot. Of course this used up the last of Colby’s patience. He was snappy and unapproachable because it was supposed to work, and now, other people had been waiting for us and the podcast was pushed back as well.

Sam and I were wholeheartedly fine with taking the brunt of it too. 

But by the time I walked on set, my own frustration pooled in my stomach. Colby’s eyes still flared angry and spiteful even as I looked at them. He blinked a few times before he looked away. 

We posed and were posed by the photographers for such a long time, I was tired of pretending to smile and, honestly, I was simply tired of being perceived in such a vulnerable way. Sure, the other three were more used to it, especially Sam and Colby, but damn. I was fatigued and dizzied with alternating emotions.

Tara and I posed alone together next which was alleviating. 

My brain turned off.

Then it was Sam and Colby’s turn alone.

My brain turned on when Sam gestured me over. 

I wanted to coil up and rot in my bed. I was tired, Colby stressed me out, Sam was snappy with me, and Tara just wanted to sleep. We were falling apart, but when I came back to them, they were somehow brighter. They talked to and cooperated with the photographer more, and the three of us got shots that I was actually excited about. 

What numbed me and gave me a second wind was the feeling of Colby’s hands on my waist, him against my side, and our backs to each other. He grabbed my arm during a pose set up and I swore my skin melted to the bone. I felt it through the rest of the day.

Then, we changed and did it all over again.

An hour later, we were leaving the studio when Colby got the call.

The last podcast was canceled.

No one talked when we piled in the car. It was pure silence, and I looked in the rear view mirror slowly. I watched Colby. He looked down at his phone and texted for a little while until he started music. Then he looked up. His eyes locked on mine. 

No one spoke. Neither of us looked away. He didn’t look happy, to say the least.

”What are we going to do?” Sam sighed. The only one brave enough to speak to Colby was him obviously; he was the only one Colby wouldn’t kick out of the car. Probably.

”I don’t know,” he sighed and looked away from me and adjusted how he sat. His head hit the head rest. “I’m fucking tired and done with today.”

”Let’s just go out.”

”Again?” I gasped. The burning in my throat from last night returned. 

“It’s Saturday night and I know a group’s about to get dinner before hitting a couple clubs,” Tara said as her eyes still locked on her phone. I looked back at Colby. He was already looking at me. I looked back at Tara.

”I mean, we have to be at the airport at five in the morning.”

”We’ll sleep on the plane.”

”Being hungover on a plane doesn’t seem like a fun way to fly.”

”You’re flying regardless,” Colby intervened. I looked back at him. His eyes were thinner, darker. “Let’s just go.”

”Fine.”

And that’s how we ended up drunker than we ever had. 

I was hungover before I finished my umpteenth shot, Tara was on the table, and Sam found the girl he had been talking to. Of course she was a part of our group now; the group Tara texted.

The haze in Colby’s eyes calmed me down. He spoke enthusiastically and smiled more than not. Finally, it felt like we wound down to our regular selves again. 

“Come on!” 

“I really can’t—“

”Please! It’s our last time here for a while, let’s just have fun!”

”Tara, I can’t even walk straight without running into things. What makes you think I can dance?”

”Everyone’s so close anyway, you don’t have to hold yourself up.” Her arms yanked me out of the sofa before another protest had the time to settle. I was followed.

I didn’t know by who, but I felt the presence behind me as we made our way across the dark club. Finally, Tara led me across the threshold of the dance floor. Then she spun around and didn’t let go of my hand. 

Her eyes lifted behind me. An evil smile pulled at her mouth.

”What’s wrong—“

”Nothing,” she cut me off, and pulled me from looking behind me. “Come on.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I felt the music reverberating through me like a vessel already. If I was going to be in pain all day tomorrow, I might as well make the most of it tonight.

It didn’t take long, but I felt a hand on my arm, a pressure on my body, and I turned around wildly. A face I couldn’t recognize, and Tara yanked me away, closer to her. 

I watched her mouth but I couldn’t hear her words. I nodded and smiled in agreement anyway, and danced with her.

And again, hands found my waist, but this time more pressure in places that I definitely didn’t ask for it to be, so I gasped a breath and whipped myself around, but the hands were off of me before I got the chance to see who it was.

I looked up to Colby who shoved someone—the pressure I supposed—behind him. He looked back to the man who grabbed me. Violently, he spoke and shoved again. I didn’t understand what he said but I agreed. Wholeheartedly.

”Colby,” I gasped as if he could hear me.

With the shaking of his head, he stepped into my personal space.

”How did you know I didn’t want to dance with someone?” He scoffed. 

“I don’t care if you wanted to or not, clearly you didn’t ask for that.”

”I could have taken care of it.”

”And? That was gross. I was right there.”

Right, Colby followed us to the dance floor. That’s right. I felt his eyes on me the entire time.

”Why were you watching us?”

”Because you’re drunk as hell and both of you are half the size as the majority of people here.” Why did I like the hostility on his tongue? I almost tasted the alcohol that intoxicated him.

”Yeah, that’s all it is, isn’t it?”

”What else would it be?” There it was. That flirty flick up of his eyebrow. We were the only three paused in the sea of dancing bodies.

”Just—Come on,” Tara grumbled and gripped both of our elbows. “Can’t have any fun with you when Colby’s around, can I?”

”What the fuck does that mean?”

Tara didn’t respond. 

She went back to friends, but Colby grabbed me and held me back.

Again, his grip was heaven itself there in that hell hole. I spun back to him. I didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered across my full face before settling on my eyes. Drunken mistakes.

”No, tell me,” he said. Lowly.

”Tell you what?” I scoffed. He rolled his eyes.

”What else would I defend you like that for?” My gaze fell from his eyes, his nose, lips, chest, the floor.

I shook my head.

”I’m drunk as hell.”

”Yeah same,” he sighed. He took a step back. His eyes didn’t leave me though.

”Why do you look at me like that?” He shook his head. Don’t ask the things you don’t want to know about. “Stop looking at—Talk to me,” I demanded.

”You’re so—“ He gritted his teeth and his voice caught in his throat when his hands found my face and held me still. My lips parted fairly widely as shock rose my eyebrows. His eyes looked at me. With intention. 

My body caught ablaze, and I didn’t like it. Not this time. This kind of wildfire was destructive; non rebuildable.

”Colby—“

He just looked at me. Even closer. I almost felt the sweetness of his mouth on mine.

”I’m more of an all or nothing kind of girl, Colby, not—not a one and done like you,” I said. My calmest words laced with a poison that furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t do those smash and dashes like you do, so if that’s what you’re looking for, you can go back to those models you fuck every other day because that’s not the kind of body you’ll find here.”

Hurt spread across his face. His hands slowly fell from me, and for the first time, I wanted to take the words back.

“Really?” He gasped. It cut deeper; his hurt. I didn’t mean it. 

Maybe I got it all wrong.

”That—Really? That’s what you have to say to me?”

”Colby,” I spat his name through teeth weakened by grit. “Don’t ruin our new friendship, I was liking it way too much.”

”I’m not ruining anything. You don’t know what I want.”

”Then you’re confusing. Too complicated for me.” I stepped away from him. He took a step towards me. “I don’t appreciate my best friends using me.”

”Good. I don’t either.”

”So what’s this?” I gesture to his hands. “Why do you touch me like that? And why does it look like you could kiss me at any moment?”

”Are you projecting or something? Because my wanting to kiss you doesn’t equate to using you.”

A laugh burst from me.

”So when you kissed all those other girls in front of me even after we texted the way we do and after you fucked them, you didn’t use them?” My head cocked to the side in defiance.

Fire blazed in his eyes.

”You’re ridiculous.”

”I am?” I shouted.

”You don’t know anything.”

”Right,” I scoffed. “Not like you’ve made advancements in helping me know something—Colby.”

He grabbed my face like he did and shoved himself back into my space. This time, I felt his front collide into mine. My hands grabbed his wrists.

I froze.

My lips parted the moment his grazed mine.

He caught me. His eyes lifted to mine with a smirk slowly pulled at his dark lips.

“So you talk your shit but you’d still kiss me back?”

”Fuck you,” I spat. He smiled evilly.

”You’d love to, wouldn’t you?” He molded his words over my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth for more. 

“Mm, maybe,” I mumbled. His eyes blew wide when I bit down on his bottom lip. “But I would love it more if you didn’t fuck me over after.” 

He shook his head quickly.

”I wouldn’t,” I think he gasped so quietly that only by the breath on my skin could I discern his words. 

I retracted my teeth and replaced them with my lips. 

That was when one of his hands traveled to my messy pulled back hair and he kissed me with such intensity that I’m sure I fell to the ground. A noise escaped my throat but I didn’t back down. I couldn’t when his hands were firm on my body like he knew it already. 

So of course I kissed him back like he was mine.

He always was, wasn’t he? I licked into his mouth first, and I think it caught him off guard because a deep moan pressed against my tongue and his thumb jutted under my chin as if to hold me in place. The taste of our drinks mixed in our mouths, and I breathed him in like I needed the hit.

I think he moaned my name; all this time he took a step and then another step into me as if he aimlessly tried to find a stable surface to pin me but couldn’t. He was too drunk to remember that we were in the middle of a bustling club. I ran into someone. I didn’t care.

I took advantage of his leap of shock and my lips wrapped around his tongue. That was when his eyes opened and he slowly looked down at me in surprise when we ever so slowly retract from each other.

”Holy shit,” I thought I heard, and we must have both heard since we both looked over in the direction of our friends. 

Sam stared back at us and Tara’s pouty smirk fired directly at me.

Colby took three big steps away from me. Looked at me.

”Colby,” I said but he left me and walked towards Sam.

Sam and Colby walked towards the back door of the club with a dictionary of words between them. Tara stood in front of me.

”It’s 2:30, we gotta go and get ready for our flight.”

”But—But Colby—“

”I know, but we gotta go. Sam was going to be sick.”

I took her hand as she took mine and her friend dropped us off at my house. 

The taste of Colby’s lips was the only thing that kept the vomit in the back of my throat.

That sunrise was not kind.

I vomited while packing. I vomited while in the Uber. And again while waiting at the terminal.

At least we got through TSA without a vomit session.

I wanted those hands on me again. To numb the pain. I typically didn’t hurt this bad with a hangover.

I plopped in my seat and Tara already cuddled up into me with her neck pillow and blanket. I checked my phone.

New message from my best friend, but that was it.

I couldn't blame them—to be fair—it was still the night for them, and if Sam had to be sick while at the club, I knew he would be drunk until the late morning and hungover by sundown. Colby on the other hand was drunk, but I couldn’t tell if he was drunk enough to be hungover. I couldn’t read him at all tonight—last night. I understood his mouth perfectly well though, and unfortunately I wanted to communicate more.

Or fortunately? I couldn’t decide quite yet.

I fell asleep before we took off.

When I woke up, the sun blared into the cabin like a lightning rod. I moaned and squinted my eyes, and stretched in my sleep.

”Oh good, you’re up,” Tara said. I looked over at her. Her AirPods were in, a roller was in her hair, and she watched Netflix on her laptop as she filed her nails. “I was getting bored.”

”Jesus Christ, Tara. I’m going to be sick.”

”Ha! No you’re not. Take this.” She handed me a pill and what looked to be an antibacterial wipe. “I don’t give a fuck if you gotta stick that wipe up your nose; you won’t be vomiting on this plane. That’s so embarrassing.”

”Tara,” I moaned and sat up more. The nausea sickened me. I dry swallowed the pill. The alcohol from the wipe did, in fact, aid my hangover bile. ”What time is it?”

”Ten. We’ve been on the flight for like four hours.” I sighed and sat upright in my seat with my eyes clamped shut. My thoughts battled to ward off the nausea. “So, Sam and I walked in on you making out with Colby last night.”

”Oh my god, don’t remind me.”

“What the fuck was that about, huh?”

”God, I have no idea”

”And you didn’t even do anything after as well.” I shot her a glare. 

“The fuck you mean ‘do anything?’ Obviously we weren’t going to fuck if that’s what you’re saying.” I rolled my head away from her and leaned it on my hand. It needed physical support too not just emotional. 

“What are you talking about?” She laughed. “The tension has been making me sick. I thought you guys were finally going to get it over with.” 

That annihilated my ability to ward off nausea.

”I’m going to throw up.”

”Fucking don’t, bitch,” she threatened me with her nail file. “We have to get our nails done in New York because I feel like a dirty girl when we’re going to nice clubs or whatever.”

”We can get them done.” The thought of a nail salon scent quenched the nausea.

”Anyway, about Colby—“

”I do not want to hear that name right now.”

Tara looked at me with concern. A frightening silent concern. The concern was only heavily serious when Tara was quiet.

”He didn’t look happy after he kissed you. What happened?” And how could I lie to that hushed worrisome voice.

”I told him that—oh god what did I say?” I tried to remember as I rubbed my eyes. Thank god Tara convinced me to take off—and also partially helped me—take off my makeup last night. “I said something like I’m not into hooking up like he is—Oh, I’m not a one and done kind of girl. I told him I wanted all of him or nothing.”

”Shit,” Tara gasped. “That’s kind of a lot, isn’t it?”

”I mean he tried to kiss me, Tara! Before we even talked about it.”

”Okay? What’s the problem with that?”

”I really enjoyed our friendship,” I sighed. “I don’t want it bursting into flames. Hanging out with them and working with them is amazing, and once it does inevitably fuck up after we actually date, then I can’t lose them.”

”I know it doesn’t work for everyone, but you could still be friends with them.” I sighed heavily. Tara’s eyes still examined me.

”There’s no way I could feel for Colby the way you do for Jake right now.”

”How come?” I opened my mouth to speak but no words found me. “You—You’re really serious about Colby, aren’t you?”

”Yes, but-but not to say you weren’t serious about—“

”No, I know,” Tara quickly said. “I get it. We’re a lot less unserious after our relationship. We just tried it and it was fun be we aren’t meant to be together romantically.”

”That’s the thing, Tara,” I grumbled and finally looked at her. “How do you not get attached? I’m already scarily attached to him. Fuck; I hate him for it too.” She lips curled in a smirk. “Stop fucking looking at me like that.”

”You are so down bad for that man it’s hilarious.”

”What would be hilarious is if you shut the fuck up.”

”Just admit that you love him so much that you would rather never see him again than not be romantic with him.”

”You’re literally putting words in—Do you not hear the words coming out of my mouth?” Tara rolled her eyes at me and I sighed. I settled in my chair. 

“I know. I get it, I do.”

”I just don’t know what I’m going to do, Tara. I already fucked up a lot between us whether we pursue each other or not.”

”How come?” 

“I basically called him a slut too.”

”You-You what?” She gasped. She choked back a laugh before it burst out of her. “That is the most diabolical thing—“

”I know it was so wrong of me, but I was drunk and terrified.”

”I know.”

”Tara!” I gasped. “He fucks everything that breathes!” The anger stung my gritted teeth and she parted her lips with surprise. “Do you not fucking see it?” I shout in a whisper. “He has a new fucking partner every damn week which-which whatever, that’s fine, but then he texts me the way he does and it’s like he wants to get in my pants too, just for the sake of it!”

”Whoa, how do you text? Give me your phone.”

”No way.”

”You sent him nudes?”

”What? No!” My blush flared hot. She rolled her eyes.

”I’ve known Colby for so long, it’s nothing I haven’t seen.”

”We haven’t fucking—Wait what the fuck does that mean?”

”Jesus Christ, no need to get wound up. I haven’t fucked him; remember Jake used to live with them. I stayed there weeks at a time.” I nodded and handed her my phone. We really didn’t have anything important to hide.

As she read the texts, my heart quickened. Her silence scared me.

”Oh my god,” she gasped. “The damn tension is even worse in text.”

”Give It back,” I spat and stole it from her. “What tension? We’re just friends.”

”Pf, yeah; friends that are able to make any conversation dirty talk. Now stop being a pussy and-and suck his dick or something.“

”Tara!” I cried. I shoved my phone back in my bag. ��There’s no way—No! I-I can’t do that.”

”Oh right, you’re so in love with him you want to have sex with him and let him kiss you all gentle—“ Her silly baby voice physically ignited the fiery anger inside of me.

”Seriously,” I spat and held my hand up. “It’s not like that.”

”Oh,” she gasped. “Right, it’s Colby I forgot. He might not like gentle sex.”

”Nor relationships, so let’s stop speaking about something I can’t have.” Tara looked at me as seconds ticked by.

”You do really like him.” I nodded slowly. “If you liked him enough, then what could come of it would be worth risking ever speaking to him the same way again.”

I stared at her wide eyed.

Where did that wisdom come from?

”Potentially.”

“Then talk to him like an adult. And don’t do it when you’re drunk; you disrespect him like that again and he’ll cut you off without you even getting about to suck his—“

”If you’re so obsessed with his dick, why don’t you suck it yourself?” I spat.

”Damn, alright. He’s yours.”

”He’s not mine,” I spat. “If last night was anything to go by.”

”No no,” Tara exasperated. “You literally have it all wrong. He looked so-so enthralled by you, that you’re already his. That’s why it pissed him off so much.”

”He wouldn’t be pissed off if he talked to me like an adult and didn’t fuck other women.”

”Talk to him.”

”You’re acting like you know something.”

”Obviously neither of them talk to me and I supposed neither of them talk to Johnnie or Jake because those two boneheads are clueless as always.” I smiled. “Talk to him. Both of you attitudes are starting to piss me off. I just want to have fun with my best friends without stepping on eggshells.” She sipped her drink.

”I fucking need one of those.”

”It’s a mimosa.”

”I know.”

”You literally were about to throw up.” I rolled my eyes and kicked back in my seat.

”I need to be drunk again.” 

“Ma’am, yes ma’am,” she sighed as she eyed down a flight attendant. “Oh, you’re fucking hot by the way.”

”Exuse me?” I choked on nothing.

”Your tattoos are great, and I can’t believe you sent him and underwear pic.” My face burned.

”That was on accident. I was delusional and got out of bed before I was awake at 6am.”

”Yeah, uh-hu. Keep telling yourself that.” And Tara caught the attendant as she passed us.

Between us and the hangovers, it was easy sailing until touchdown. 

When we stepped into the airport, my phone rang off the hook with late messages. Of which, Colby was missed. My stomach did that familiar flip at the sight of his name in my messages.

I stared at my phone wide eyed and breathless, and it must have taken me far too long to get going, because Tara peered over my shoulder.

”Damn, see I told you. He set the stage for you, now speak like an adult.” I looked at her sunglasses covered face. I judged her for looking like a freak wearing Jake’s inappropriately too large hoodie with the hood over the roller in her hair as she wore sunglasses on her face that were big enough to cover a horse’s eyes. 

Not like I could judge; I might have been wearing Sam’s hoodie and Colby’s sweatpants with my own sunglasses covering my hangover but that’s neither here nor there.

“Let’s go,” I told her and we bulldozed our way through the airport and towards whichever fancy hotel Tara picked the month prior.

And the hotel was very nice.

It was large enough for an entire group to crash in after a night out. The window showed the evening city as night fell, and I wanted nothing more than to curl up in the bed that could easily hold four people. I stared out the window for sometime as Tara got settled in. I could have been thinking about our plans for the morning, where we were going to get—most likely—brunch and where we would go thrifting after, but there I stood in the nicest hotel room in New York City I’ve ever been in thinking about Colby.

I thought to text him now. 

I will.

Maybe.

My eyes fell heavy, and it took effort to pull myself from the window. 

“Thinking about room service. Forgot to get food before.”

”I know, I was just dreaming about this bed,” I moaned as I collapsed into it.

I fell asleep before Tara got off call with room service.

I woke up when the food came.

”Get up or else I’m eating all this pizza.” I slugged over to sit hip to hip with her as the food sprawled ahead of us. 

“I’m beat.”

”And once we eat, we can sleep so long and happy once our bellies are full.” She logged into her Netflix on the TV as I scrolled on my phone.

“Okay can we eat now, like damn.”

”Sorry,” I laughed as I read the last word he sent, and my phone was tossed to the bedding. 

“How much will you text him? This is supposed to be our chilled out work week; emphasis on boyless work week.”

”Yeah I know, I was going to call him after we eat so we can talk about whatever the fuck happened last night.”

”Okay,” she said as she took a bite.

“Then we will be boyless.”

”Good.”

And she was right. My eyes rolled back even more so as the pizza settled in our systems. She got ready for bed as I slid out onto the balcony to talk to Colby. The chilly air was certainly more than enough to prevent me from falling asleep.

”Hi.”

”Hi,” he said back. “How are you feeling?”

”I’m good, better,” I sighed. “It was kind of the worst flight of my life though.”

”That’s what I was worried about. Good thing you made it through.”

”Yeah, hardly though. Tara threatened me and stuffed alcohol wipes in my nose every time I moved.”

”Oh my god,” he laughed. “I felt really bad last night. You were so sick and then Sam was sick—god, he still is—and I was just like, ‘shit, maybe this was a bad idea’ especially after—everything.”

”Yeah, I know. But-But it’s fine; it was fine. I had a good night. Just won’t do it before a five am flight ever again.”

Silence.

”I wanted to talk about last night though, like what happened between us.”

”I know,” I sighed and released the energy. “First I wanted to say sorry for what I said to you; I didn’t mean it and it was really disrespectful. I was so drunk and should have closed my mouth especially since that’s your business anyway. I feel really bad and didn’t mean it.”

”I-I know,” he said not too convincingly. “It—I mean, I get where you’re coming from and alcohol amplified everything.” My eyebrow twinged with question.

”What do you mean ‘where I’m coming from?’”

”I mean—“ He took his time and I bit through the first layer of skin on my lip. “I-I guess it’s no secret I’m not with anyone and don’t—didn’t have any plan to be. I—oh my god—I was going to say I wanted to just have fun, but I’m such a mess it isn’t fun anymore.”

”Why are you such a mess?” My voice was low as if it knew the answer.

”I guess I’m not wanting to be alone but I’m also just not-not wanting to commit or anything.”

”Oh.” I didn’t mean to be so short, and he took a breath to say something quick but I interjected. “Why did you kiss me then? You heard what I said and I did—and still do—mean it. So why did you kiss me like-like you meant it or something?”

”I’m just as confused as you are about it.” I didn’t appreciate the frustration in his tone.

”Oh yeah? What’s so confusing about it, then? I’m not confused.”

“What?” He gasped. I could tell I picked and picked at the seams until he couldn’t keep it back anymore. “You told me I was confusing to you last night. I’m confused as well.”

”I’m not confused about the situation but I’m confused about the damn choices you’re making.”

”Oh yeah? And what choices are those?”

”How every time you look at me I’m trying to decipher whether you want to kiss me but then you don’t and go kiss another girl like usual. I’m not into this whole—this whole yearning thing. I don’t do situationships or adjacent dysfunction, okay? So if you want to kiss me like you did last night, then I’m the only one you’re kissing and that’s what I’m not confused about.”

”You think I don’t want to kiss you like that?” He gasped. My throat clamped together. “If last night was anything to go by, you’d know that I’ve only ever wanted to kiss you like that. But it’s so much more real.”

”How is it so real?” I scoffed. The bitterness flowed from me, and I didn’t hold it back. How could I? There was so much unknowingly built in my chest and it needed to be relieved. “If it were real, you would kiss me. You wouldn’t fuck any other thing that breathes; you would come to me.”

”Jesus fucking—I don’t fuck anyone! Why do you keep saying that?” 

Speechless choked me.

”You-You what?”

”I’ve slept with two people all through last year and no one this year, alright? Just because I might have fun or take photos with people doesn’t mean shit. I’ve only slept with—“

”You don’t have to tell me. I’m-I’m not—I trust you.” I didn’t like the way my voice shook, but I sat still in disbelief. Those nasty things I told him—

“Please,” he sighed. “I’m not—I don’t like to fuck around like that. I mean yeah maybe I do, but not like that. Not the amount you think I have. Do you really think so poorly of me?”

”I don’t-I don’t think poorly of anyone who does that, Colby. Especially not you. The thing that ticked me off was how you treated me. I could only think of those girls; did they know that you talked to me like that? Did they like to hook up meaninglessly like that? I didn’t want to be responsible for any messy situation that came of it.”

”And you wouldn’t have,” he said all too sweetly. “It’s my responsibility and I wouldn’t throw you under the bus like that. I mean; if there even were a bus. Every time I would ‘take someone home’ they would just leave in their own Uber and I’d go back with Sam. Or if I went to their house, honestly I would just crash at Jake and Johnnie’s for the night so that Sam could have the house for the night.” I never thought about those things. Unfairly too; I always believed the worst.

I took a lengthy pause. I was still upset. Unsatisfied. So I yanked harder.

”Then why do you loop me into all of this? Why play with me and kiss me just to go back to how we were?”

”Who said I would ever do it?”

”I don’t know!” I burst out. “Maybe it’s because I saw with my own eyes the amount of girls you were with and didn’t know the details. It’s like you wanted me but kept me on edge for fun.”

”That’s not-That’s definitely not what happened or what I was thinking at all.”

”Then what is, Colby? What the fuck are you thinking about me then, because I’m getting fed up and—“

”I’m thinking that if I just got my shit together and-and got over things I was scared of, I could have you and talk to you about how I feel about you.”

”Which is how?”

”God fucking damnit, you’re really making me spell it out, hm?” I shrugged.

”Obviously. I’m not here to fuck around anymore. I like having fun with my friends and I do not like being used and thrown away. I have more self respect than to be fucked over again and again.”

”I wouldn’t do that.”

”And you’ve given me no reason that you wouldn’t or proof that you would do any better.” The phone etched into my palms from the amount of force I used to hold it.

”God fucking—“ He paused and I heard a breath. “You’re so fucking difficult.”

”I’m difficult? You’re putting my through the ringer because you can’t communicate.”

”I can’t communicate? When did you ever tell me that you didn’t like it when I was with other girls?”

”I don’t know maybe because it’s not my fucking place? Jesus Christ, you think I have the audacity to nose my way into your business?”

”Well you’ve fucking nosed your way into every other area of my life.” I dragged in a deep breath.

I saw red. I finally understood what it felt like when people said that.

”Oh yeah? And whose fault is that exactly?”

”It sure as hell isn’t mine.”

”I swear to god! Ugh! You’re so fucking annoying!”

”I’m annoying?” His voice finally raised. “You’re the one who flirts with me and I get the message that you want something but then you tell me ‘oh, no my expectations are so much higher than what you could reach’ and then get mad when I can’t reach them?”

“You haven’t fucking tried!” I finally yelled. “And you’re projecting! I have never given you my expectations for a relationship and yet you still think you can’t reach them, what am I just some selfish bitch to you or something? You haven’t asked or talked to me about anything serious at all! The only thing you know about my personal needs in a relationship is that I’d like for it to be exclusive and serious. I didn’t realize that was just so fucking hard for anyone to give me.”

”Becase you’re looking in the fucking wrong direction!” 

I paused for a moment. I licked my dry lips.

”Oh so then you think the problem is you? Because I know having standards—and low ones, might I add—isn’t typically an issue for people.”

”You are—oh my fucking god.” I heard the way his voice grew quieter as he pulled the phone from his ear in frustration. “Maybe—listen to me—Maybe I think you’re looking in the wrong direction because you need someone who can fit your expectations. Not because you’re too much but because I care about you enough to make sure you’re taken care of and not at risk for it blowing up in your face since clearly that’s all I’m good at.”

”Colby,” I gasped. 

This was never about my behavior. This wasn’t even about our lack of communication, then. 

“When did I ever say I didn’t want you.”

”What?” He spat. “I never said—“

”No, but clearly you think you’re not good enough for me. You don’t know what I want outside of a stable relationship, and that I know you can give me if you try.”

”How do you know that?” His spite was thicker than the words he said.

”I mean-I mean I don’t but you’re smart and clearly you fucking care enough so I supposed you’d figure it out.”

”But that puts you at risk.”

”Fuck!” I yelled. “For as often as you put your physical body at risk with Sam you certainly are against it emotionally. Maybe I know that it’s a risk liking you as much as I do, but maybe it’s one I’m willing to take.”

”But you want—“

”Fucking hell, Colby. I just wanted you!” God it felt so good to say. “I just wanted you without having to worry that one day I wouldn’t be able to see you again because-because if it does blow up, I’m not sure I’ll be able to be friends with you after. That’s how much I care about you and need you.”

He was silent and my own anxiety took the wheel again.

”I-I really liked our friendship and don’t take that lightly; I hope you feel the same way about it—“

”I really do,” he reassured me. 

”Then that’s why I didn’t want to be the one to start something more with you. I didn’t want it to blow up—“

”Oh so you wanted me to start it so that whenever it does inevitably blow up, you can blame me?”

”That’s not what I fucking said now, is it Colby? I said—“

”No.” It was so incredibly final that it took center in my stomach like a knife. “I’m not—We’re not doing this.”

”So then that’s it?”

”How much more do you want to lose?” It hit me. He wouldn't be able to go back after that kiss.

”If you think we’ve already lost something, then how bad could it be?”

”I can’t fucking do this right now.”

”Oh come on,” I laughed. “That’s so—That’s such a tap out.”

”No, I’m serious. You’re literally asking me to solidify a relationship with you so that when we break up, it can be my fault.”

”That is not what I’m asking you to do. Like, at all.”

”Yeah? Then what is?”

”I’m asking you to stop being so fucking scared of everything.”

Silence.

”I want you to stop trying to control everything around you all the time. You can’t control how I feel. Stop blaming yourself for things you haven’t even done! I’d never blame you if things didn’t work out between us. But I am blaming you if you keep yourself from me just because you’re scared.”

“I’ve never been so scared of anyone like I’m scared of you.”

”Colby—“

”The way you make me feel is too much. I can’t-I can’t fuck us up. I’d rather you at a safe distance for forever than nowhere near me at all.”

”And if it all blows up, what are we going to do?”

”I can't think about that—“

”No, tell me.”

”I swear,” he laughed.

”Colby, tell me now.”

”I—We’re going to stop speaking. I know that much. I won’t be okay for a long time—“

”What if it all blows up but we just stay together anyway?” He was quiet again as if it was the most confusing thing in the world.

”What-What are you talking about?”

”Things go wrong in relationships all the time. That's why only the people who choose to stay together and work on themselves for the other person last more than 20 years. I don’t understand why a disagreement or argument can derail an entire companionship if they actually care deeply about each other.”

The way he said my name made me forget all the other times my name had been said.

”It’s that much?”

”What?” I asked.

”You actually want me that much?”

”I could.” It was the truth. I did want him—badly—and with time, maybe he could be the only one I would want.

”I think I could let myself want you that much too.”

”Colby, stop saying you’ll ‘let’ yourself. Not everything has to be controlled; literally chill out and let things happen.”

”Okay, okay,” he sighed. I, too, was tired of arguing, and with that sweet tone on his tongue, I wished to sleep cuddled into his side. What a way to begin a month apart from each other. “I trust you.”

”Good. I trust you too.”

It felt like the end of the conversation. I didn’t know where it left us, but we were farther than where we started.

I also trusted the fact that we had much time to think about things before we saw each other again.

”By the way,” he said with that goofy tone that I knew meant something outrageous was brewing in that head. “‘Smash and dash was so fucking funny. If you didn’t literally break my heart in that sentence, I would have cried laughing.”

”Oh my god, shut the fuck up. I have no idea where that came from—“

”It was so good.”

The night was brutal. It took me a second to register the fact that I shivered like my life depended on it. 

“Colby,” I mumbled. “I care about you a lot, and maybe that’s why I’m so-so protective, or something, of what—or of how I feel. I didn’t want to stress you into something you didn’t want, and I didn’t—I don’t know—I don’t want to see you scared or in pain.”

“I know, I know. I care about you as well which is why I tried to get rid of my confusion and frustration in some way because I didn’t want to hurt you or not be enough for you. It—All of this is a lot, and I’m not ready for it.”

”Maybe we won’t be,” I sighed. My breath piled in front of me. “We can wait.”

”Yeah,” he agreed.

”I’m so sorry but I’m literally—I’m outside because Tara’s in there and it’s so fucking cold so I was going—”

”Oh my god, yeah go inside.”

”Okay.” I stood up. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

”Okay, also, thanks for talking. You can be—god—you’re so fucking pushy and you never back down.”

“And you’re so damn combative it’s hard to not fight with you.”

”No one usually fights me, they leave or, I don’t fucking know, listen to what I say.”

”Ha!” I burst out laughing. “That’s so funny. I only listen to myself. I like you a lot, okay? So I’m going to fight back if you sound like an idiot.”

”And you sound like a spoiled bitch who always gets her way.”

”No,” I dragged out. “I just do this thing called thorough communication, and I never sacrifice the things I value just because some boy wants to fuck me.”

”Whoa,” Colby gasped. “I never expected you to sacrifice anything.” I laughed as my face heated up.

”Oh okay maybe so, but you want to fuck me then?”

“We are not talking about that right now.”

“Oh come on, you could have just said no.”

”And now you sound like the idiot.”

”Whatever, I’m going inside so I don’t have to freeze my ass off anymore.”

”You do that. I’m getting food then sleeping another ten hours.”

”Okay good,” I smiled. “Bye.”

”Bye.”

Even when I curled up in my bed happy and content and warm as I could be, I still shook to my core.

And it wasn’t from the winter air.

I woke up to the sound of an alarm, and Tara sitting up to turn it off.

”Why?” I complained. “Why so early?”

”It’s literally nine am. Let’s get up and get ready.”

”Fine,” I grumbled. I stretched so hard that I nearly missed what she said.

”I was asleep by the time you came in last night, what did you and Colby talk about for so long?”

”Honestly? We just argued the entire time but we’re fine now.”

”What?” She laughed. “What did you fight about?”

”Colby’s personal bullshit. Also, we may or may not date; we aren’t sure.”

”That is literally the most you and Colby thing I’ve ever heard,” Tara laughed as she got up. ”You guys are so exclusively not exclusive.”

”And you are so already breaking your rule for having a boyless trip.” She smiled at me as she pulled her glasses on.

”You’re right. Now get ready; we have bagels to eat and thrift stores to infiltrate.”

The day ended as fast as it came, and when we woke up the next morning, we decided to stay in and have a self care day instead of walking because our legs cramped. 

I don’t remember another time my mind emptied of stress and worries about work, scheduling, and recording. Maybe we filmed a few videos, and maybe we vlogged, and maybe we met up with friends for a video, but it was a week of my life that my job melted into a privileged everyday life rather than a literal job.

After Tana and Brooke showed up, it was time for a little less self care to say the least. 

He didn't respond.

“You’re breaking the law.” I looked up to Tara who sat on the edge of the bed talking to Brooke. I leaned against the head board and dropped my phone to the sheets.

”What are you talking about?”

“See, I didn’t know if you were or not but you just gave yourself away.”

”What law do we have this week?” Brooke asked.

”No speaking about or texting or calling males this week.” Brooke’s eyes rounded and snapped to mine.

”Who were you texting?”

”N—“

”Colby,” Tara sighed.

”Okay, that’s great. Thank you so much for letting that cat out of the bag.” Then Brooke’s eyes widened.

”Am I not supposed to know?”

”No,” I sighed and scooted closer to them. I stole a gummy worm from the bag in between them. “It’s a situationship I fear.”

”Oh I see,” Brooke laughed as a smirk pulled on her rosy lips. 

“And it’s becoming a situation for all of us because you keep texting him.”

”You should be glad we aren’t at each other’s throats anymore.”

”I don’t know if you two being at each other’s throats is as bad as being down them anymore—“

”Oh my god, Tara, no. That’s-That’s too far.”

”Yeah, mhm,” she sighed with raised eyebrows. Tana came from the bathroom. “It’s almost like you were the one who went too far with him first.”

”Who’s him?”

”Colby,” Brooke replied to Tana faster than anyone could think.

”Oh,” Tana said as she looked at me up and down. “Honestly that checks out. Is this new?”

”As of three days ago,” I sighed. My head met my hand as if I massaged a headache.

”It’s actually been a nine month long languished yearning slow burn from both of them but apparently Colby has trust issues and she’s just too cut throat for him.”

”Tara,” I spat. “You are just full of it today aren’t you?”

”Yes, now I understand how everyone else felt when Jake and I first started dating and I’m getting flashbacks so I’m snappy.”

”Clearly.”

”You both are breaking your own law,” Brooke intervened.

”That’s true,” I said to Tara with eyebrows raised.

”What law?”

”No speaking about men on this trip,” Brooke told Tana to which Tana laughed, of course.

”I am a felon.”

✧˖*°࿐

Taglist (Comment to be added):

@a-random-google-user

#colby brock #sam and colby #sam golbach #18+ only #minors dni #colby brock smut #colby brock x reader #rosie writings

[eternalbuckley]

College Sweethearts. — evan buckley

SUMMARY: Buck and Reader used to be college sweethearts until he was kicked out of college. You didn’t stay in contact, nor did he give you an explanation of why he left completely. Years later your ways found back to each other again. And Buck certainly doesn’t want to miss this possible second chance with you.

word count: 3,287

genre: fluff | gn!reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings: use of y/n a few times, mention of buck dying a few times, nervous buck, mention of some other events from the show (s1-s3), heavy teasing, readers college degree is not specified, mention and description of alcohol use, mention of weed use, mentions of past hook-ups/making out, english is not my first language, hardly proofread — if i forgot something, please let me know!

a/n: I had this idea while watching a documentary about the planet Venus and immediately had to write it. It might be a bit cheesy but who cares? Everyone needs that sometimes, and Buck is currently the only thing that is in my mind (for weeks). Also: I’m currently working on multiple requests, which could slow me down from posting a bit at the moment! Enjoy reading 🫶 edit: i might make a second part to this once here but nothing’s decided yet!

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know! reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and welcomed!

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Oh dear, love can be such a complicated little and big thing. Especially in your high school or college years. It’s supposed to be something beautiful, right? Well, for you it didn’t start quite easy, nor did it end in a rather beautiful way. In your early college years, you had a few dates with different people. At one point you gave up because no one matched your energy or gave you the vibes that you want to spend more, intimate time with them. You decided to focus more on studying and getting high with your friends a few times but you definitely didn’t plan on finding your (now ex-) fling at one of these stupid college parties.

But there you were, slightly drunk and making out with the infamous Evan Buckley. Maybe you had a small crush on him but did it matter at that point? The both of you started hooking up even after this party and you would lie if you would say it wasn’t amazing. He made you feel good and that’s all you cared about. It was fun while it lasted but at one point, he got kicked out of community college because he spent all his money on his motorcycle. And that was the last time you ever saw him as well. Sure, you were a bit mad because he didn’t say anything to you but you were not his partner. You had no right to say anything about it.

Even months after you last saw him you weren’t ready to hook up or meet other potential future partners. You realized at one point you might have fallen for him but you quickly needed to get rid of those feelings because you were completely sure you would never see him again. Sure, you could have taken a drive to his home but Buck told you a few times that his parents weren’t his favourite people in the world and he’d never want you to meet him. And again: In your opinion, you had no right to do that anyway.

Near the end of graduating your last college year, you decided it would be best for you to move away from your hometown. A fresh start was much needed. Especially after some fucked up friendships over some stupid boys that were in some of your college classes. You needed to get away from there immediately and that’s when you eventually decided to move to Los Angeles. It was always your tiny (big) dream to live there but never imagined you actually would someday. So, taking this opportunity made it even more perfect to start over. With the help of some friends and family members you successfully moved to the big city, it was hard work and saying your goodbyes was still tough for you. But you didn’t want to turn back and focus on the new part of your life even if that meant knowing no one and finding new people that lived in the same city as you.

After some months of living in Los Angeles, you decided to start working in a café until you found a good place to work at. You slowly felt more comfortable and started to feel more at home. You found one friend during this time – Maddie Buckley. You met her in the café you were working at. She came there often to get her a coffee and one day Maddie gave you her number. She told you that you could call her any time you need help or want to talk. Since she knew how it can be to live in a new city without knowing anyone. What you didn’t know was, that Maddie was Bucks sister and she never mentioned him as well, nor did you meet him when you were at her home the few times. Somehow you even missed the pictures that Maddie had of her and Buck in her home. Sure, she mentioned ‘her brother’ a few times and that he was working with Chimney but Bucks name was never mentioned for some reason. You even met Chimney a few times. There were a few times were you almost met Buck whenever he came over to Maddie and Chimney but every time you were already gone.

At one point Chimney invited you to come over to the 118 to meet his colleagues. He planned to set you up with Buck and Maddie helped him, little did they know that you guys already had a shared past. And that there were many details involved between you, including some untold parts. You agreed to visit him the next day since you had a few days off from work and that’s where the little chaos began for you and Buck. You picked out one of your favourite clothing pieces and were on your way to the 118.

Chimney already told the team that you were coming over and slightly begged them, especially Buck, to be nice to you and not make any moves. “Or else you will scare them away, alright?”

Buck was confused about what he meant but decided to ignore it. Once you were there Chimney immediately welcomed you with a hug and a big smile. He showed you the way up to where everyone else was, waiting for you. Buck was currently turned to the stairs with his back but once he heard your voice he quickly turned around since he remembered your voice. He just couldn’t believe that it was you. The moment your eyes met each other your smiles dropped for a moment out of shock.

After a few seconds of silence, you both pointed at each other with big eyes. “You?! Wha-”

“Wait. You both know each other?” Chimney questioned and looked at the both of you, very confused. You never mentioned that you already know Buck.

You slowly nodded your head and turned towards Chimney. You dropped your arm while doing that. “Uhm.. Yeah we know each other from-“

“College,” Buck interrupted you quickly. He was still shocked.

You only nodded your head to Buck’s words; you were shocked as well but not as much as he was.

“Wow. That’s interesting,” Hen mumbled to herself and got up to you. “Welcome to the 118. Chim already told me a lot of stuff about you,” she smiled at you and gave you a quick welcoming hug, which you returned. But your eyes were still glued on Buck.

The rest of the team, excluding Buck, welcomed you as well mostly with a handshake. Buck just nodded and slightly smiled at you. Things were slightly awkward now since there was a lot to explain and to be told between Buck and you. Especially because this had to be done in private, which was the reason why you didn’t really talk with each other. But Buck still made sure to listen to what you were telling and talking about with the others from the team. Even Bobby noticed Bucks staring after the first hour you were there and decided to invite you to stay as long as you want. You even stayed longer for his infamous lasagne, Chimney told you about it already. It tasted amazing but sitting right in front of Buck didn’t help you at all.

Especially because his eyes were still fixed on you. Even Eddie and Hen slightly nudged him to stop staring at you which only helped for like one second until he started staring again. You tried to ignore it but you did catch him a few times. He just couldn’t believe that you were sitting in front of him, here. His thoughts were pure chaos at this point. All he could think about was if you hated him for leaving you without explaining or saying anything. Were you mad at him? He certainly hoped you didn’t but he knew he’d deserve it. Buck wanted to talk to you in private but at work, there was no way it could happen. The one time you were almost alone together, a call for a fire came in. Which resulted in leaving you alone at the station. When the team got back from the fire, you were already back home. But left a little ‘thank you’ note for Chimney inviting you and Bobby for cooking such delicious food.

“You can tell them that they’re always welcome here,” Bobby told Chimney after Buck read out loud the note from you. Buck sighed, how could he talk to you without having to ask Chimney or Maddie for your number? If he wouldn’t find a way, he would do it but he didn’t want them to ask too many questions.

It was already enough to see Chimneys face filled with curiosity. He sure would talk with Maddie about the encounter between you and Buck once he was home. Buck knew he would have a talk with Maddie about you. He talked with her a few times about you already and how much he regretted his decision to leave without saying at least goodbye to you. And especially he needed to ask her how the hell she met you and why Maddie never considered mentioning you at least once.

So, to see a note falling out of his locker surprised Buck a lot. He bent down to pick it up and once he read the words his lips turned into a small and cheeky smile. It was a note from you with your telephone number and a small text added underneath.

“If you want to catch up, just text me whenever you want :) - Y/N/N”

Bucks smile grew even more after he read the nickname you added at the end. He basically gave it to you one evening while you watched your favourite movie and were too distracted with kicking each other out of fun and shared laughs. Despite having started your dynamic with the rule of only making out with each other, you two grew close but never talked about your actual feelings towards each other. Which made it even more sad that you lost contact with each other. But maybe that was what you both exactly needed to grow. Buck was curious to know how you’ve been and what you’re doing now. He would be lying if he would say he never found himself thinking about you over the past years, you never really left his thoughts at all. There were many times where he cursed himself for losing or especially leaving you without saying goodbye. He always imagined the moment where you both see each other again and that you would hate him but after seeing you today, he wasn’t sure if that was real. Now knowing that you gave him your number had to mean something. Buck definitely didn’t want to fuck up a possible second chance with you. He just hoped you would feel the same about him, which you certainly did.

Hen watched Buck go away with such a big smile she hasn’t seen on his face for a while now. She started smiling a bit in slight hopes it had something to do with you after all. Buck was on his way back home and the only thing that was on his mind was you. For the whole drive and even after he was at home for hours. His phone was laying on top of his bed and he walked his room up and down, he needed to decide if he is going to text you. Or well, how he should text you because he wanted to do it. He just didn’t want to embarrass himself. After a while he fell asleep with his phone in his hands, not noticing that he accidentally sent you a selfie while being half asleep. The moment you got his message you chuckled and opened the picture. You replied to him in a flirty but joking manner and closed the messages app afterwards. You fell asleep right after it and woke up to a reply from Buck. He apologized for sending such a picture to you but you admitted to him that you thought it was cute anyways.

And that’s how it ended for both of you. Talking and sending each other many messages. Most of them were filled with teasing and joking. You both were happier than usual and this came with teasing from your co-workers and the 118. Buck was on his phone more than usual and smiling from ear to ear. Obviously, the others noticed that and started teasing him with the worst possible things you can imagine.

“You know who he’s texting with?” Hen asked Chimney while they looked over to the lovebird looking at his phone.

Chimney smirked and nodded, “I guess it must be Y/N, they have been smiling more the last time they were over.”

Hen chuckled, “Of course, it would be them. Who else?”

Eddie joined them, “But don’t ask him about it, he’s quiet like a grave.” Chimney laughed at his comment and focused back on drinking his coffee.

But tonight, was the first time you’d hangout for the first time since you met each other at the station. It has been one week since then and you were nervous to meet him. Of course, it has been fun and nice talking with him over texts but seeing him in person was something else. It was night-time and you were getting ready for the ‘not-‘date with Buck. You were talking with Maddie on your phone, you needed her to help pick out an outfit. After what seemed like an eternity, you finally decided on your outfit, it was elegant but still comfortable for you to wear. It was good enough for staying outside even after the sunset. Maddie wished you good luck and said your goodbyes to each other. With the help of Eddie, Buck was able to choose a perfect outfit as well. He chose one of his white striped shirts, he remembered that you were really fond of one of his shirts that was similar to the one he’s wearing this time. He really hoped you’d like it. Right when you were about to leave Buck texted you, asking if you were on your way. You replied with a selfie, wearing your coat and a smile on your lips. You put your phone into your pockets and left your apartment.

Ten minutes later you got to the place where you were about to meet Buck. He was already standing there, nervously waiting for you. You tapped his shoulder and he immediately turned around.

His lips turned up in a smile. “H-hey,” Buck was immediately calmer.

“Hello there,” you smiled at him. It grew even more after he held a small flower to you. It was your favourite one. You took it and held it happily. “Wait I didn’t get you something.”

Buck shook his head. “It’s fine. You’re here, that’s..” he took a breath to think about his next words. “That’s all I need.”

You smiled at him again and took his arm after he held it out to you as well. You were walking through the park for a few minutes. They were filled with a comfortable silence but you took the turn to break it.

“How long have you been living here now?”

Buck looked at you but your eyes were focused on the flower he gave you. “For a few years now. Since.. You know I got kicked out of college I did many different things and well, ended up here.”

You chuckled and looked up to meet his eyes. “As long as you were happy.”

“Well.. Certainly.”

“Oh, is there something you want to tell me, Buckaroo?” You raised your eyebrows in a teasing manner.

He chuckled at the nickname. You used to call him that a few times back then. “Well.. I almost died. One or two times? My ex-girlfriend left me. Well, she left the whole country and didn’t really break up with me, only that I had to find out she was engaged. Everything while we had to clear out a train crash and I had to save her fiancé. Oh, and let’s not forget that I have a dead brother. Which I only found out a few months ago.”

You stopped walking and your mouth was open. When you asked him if he had to tell you something, you clearly didn’t expect anything of that.

“You.. It’s okay, I’m fine after all. I guess,” he mentioned.

“Damn. I didn’t expect things like that, Buck. I thought maybe you would say something like that you adopted a dog or a cat like you always wanted but… That?” You looked at him with soft eyes. “And you almost died? How can you say this so easily?!”

“I admit, they weren’t my best times but after all everything worked out. Even if I had to file a lawsuit against..” You were already shocked enough, which caused him to stop. “You know, that is something I could tell you later. What about you? Did you almost die once or twice?” He nudged you with his arm and continued to walk with you.

It took you a few moments to gather back your mind after all these news. A lawsuit? You definitely would find the time to ask him about that later.

“Well, I guess I finished college and just decided to move here. And no, I never got the opportunity to experience dying. I think I’ll leave that for you,” you smirked which caused him to chuckle again.

You spent two more hours talking about many different things. Up from Buck slowly finding his way into cooking and photography, that you’re looking for a job in your actual degree, and many more other themes you could spend hours talking about. It was a wonderful and comfortable time. Buck made sure that you felt safe and comfortable the whole time even when you were not looking all he focused on was just you. He missed hearing and seeing your smile and laugh. The way you sometimes moved your head backwards or subtly touched his arm because of his (bad) jokes. You talked about the fact that you knew Maddie and Chimney already but never found out that Maddie was his sister. You both found that hilarious. Overall, nothing had changed between you. Only you both individually, and in those few hours you felt happier than ever. And you got your answer, you truly had grown over the past few years and it was much needed. You felt safer in yourself, were stronger and well and the love you held deep down in your heart for Buck was still there. He walked you home this night and both of you were standing in front of your closed apartment door.

“It was nice, Buck. I haven’t had so much fun for a while now,” you smiled at him which he obviously returned.

“It was beautiful, Y/N. But I have to tell you something else and I.. I don’t know if that c-can wait any longer,” he stuttered. He was nervous you could tell.

You took his hand in a comforting way. “You can tell me anything if you feel the need for it, Buck. It’s okay.”

“You know... Maybe we could go out some time again. But m-maybe... You know as a-“ He stopped himself.

Your smile grew. “As a what? Hm?” You raised your eyebrow with a smirk now.

He looked into your eyes. You could see the hope he had in his own eyes. “As a date? Maybe?”

You stepped one step closer to him and kissed his cheek. “I’d love to.”

#⚘; — my writing ✧♡ #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley fluff #evan buckley angst #evan buckley fanfiction #evan buckley x y/n #evan buckley x you #evan buckley imagine #evan buckley one shot #evan buckley fanfic #evan buck buckely #oliver stark #911 x reader #911 #911 fox #911 fanfic #911 show #911 fluff #911 angst #911 fic #911 on abc #911 fanfiction #9-1-1 #9 1 1 #9 1 1 fic #9 1 1 x reader #gender neutral!reader #friends to lovers

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

Hi Atlas :0 i have new request but for BAU team with teen!werewolf!reader?

Hotch & Rossi are the only ones to know about reader being a werewolf when he is put on the team bc government wanted to keep him under the eye and recruited him in the end, his records are sealed so Penny doesn't snoop around the important stuff lol. And Rossi being his handler and the main person to see after the boy, to do a report to Hotch about his performance etc. And the reader mostly being there for scent search ( like the reader has a sharp nose for scents and us able to distinguish them with ease even if old and somewhat able to even if masked under fresher scents or added scents) but he's in general a lot faster with more stamina and energy to burn unlike humans .

So the team gets to know the reader's so called secret by seeing him action just zooming past them to catch up with a escaping Unsub in a mountain-like scenery and they're having a hard time catching up to them bc Rossi gave him the go ahead bc the Unsub would otherwise be able to escape in-between the trees and rocks.

Just imagine reader being big enough in his werewolf form(doesn't matter if 4- or 2-legged form to me (as in folklore or twilight type lol) ) that he can just plop all his weight down on the Unsub and pin them to the ground. Possibly disarm them by grabbing the thing in their hands or biting their arms/wrists.

How would the team react? Would they have had some suspicions on the topic?

Sorry the request's a bit long again lmao. Please if the request is too much, your requests are closed or you just don't feel like it, don't feel pressured to do it! Stay hydrated, have a nice day and keep your head up! uwu

Okay, so I wasn't going to write this originally because I wasn't sure how to, but then I started thinking about it and ideas kind of just came to me aha. I hope you like it, I'm posting it now because I just finished writing it and I'm giggling and I just wanted to post it because I think it's funny, but not like a funny funny like a stupid funny if that makes sense?

Warnings: Bullet wound, blood, make shift first aid

Word count: 1385

“A handler?” You asked in disbelief, you scoff, shaking your head at the director with a laugh, “I don’t fucking think so, I’m not a dog-”

“We need someone to monitor you who’s on the team.” He said, pausing before continuing, “Like a mentor,”

“Then call it a mentor. Not a fucking handler,”

“Could you give us a minute?” Rossi asked, speaking for the first time. Hotch, Strauss, and the Director look at each other for a minute before leaving the room. 

“The prick may as well ask me to roll over,” You muttered bitterly, wiping the frustrated tear that had made its way down your cheek.

“Look, kid, all I’m going to be doing is making sure you’re settling in okay,” Rossi said with a shrug, “I don’t care about what else they’re saying. I’m only concerned about if you’re okay.”

That’s how you were introduced to one: the fact that you would be working with the BAU, and two: that you’d have a ‘handler’ constantly monitoring you. 

When you met the team, an hour or so later, they noticed that you seemed to be full of energy and, despite only having met Rossi an hour ago, seemed to be pretty loyal to him already. Over the next coming months, your secret (as promised) was kept between you, Rossi, and Hotch. All the team knew was that you ‘had good tracking skills’ and that’s why you were recruited. You knew the truth was going to come out eventually, but you didn’t think you would ever be prepared. 

There wasn’t much difference with this case then the others, an unsub who was a horrible person, lashed out at people, the usual. He even had a lair surrounded by woods. When you found him and the team confronted him, he ran (also not unusual) and he was fast (unusual), really fast (definitely unusual). 

You stare at Rossi until he nods, giving you approval. You pelt your legs fast after the unsub, even if you did lose him, you’d be able to find him quickly. He stunk of the familiar scent of blood, mixed with cigarettes, and Jack Daniels. You let yourself shift as you run, the familiar feeling of your bones resetting subtly as you did so - more energy and strength seeping through your body as you changed, clothes tearing as your body transformed. Soon enough, you’re ready to drop down on all fours, a growl crawling up your throat you do. It doesn’t take you long to catch up with him, maybe thirty seconds. When you do, you tackle him to the ground, keeping him pinned with a heavy paw, you lift your head into the air, howling loudly to signal to Rossi that he’s been detained.

The team stared at you in absolute shock when you walked back over to them, now dressed in the spare clothes Hotch and Rossi always kept close by (as a just in case). 

“What the fuck-” Derek’s the first to speak.

“It’s sort of a long story?” You reply, unsure. 

“There’s been numerous sightings of werewolf individuals throughout history, not to mention clinical lycanthropy,” Spencer chimes in.

“So you’re a-?”

“Say it,” You say dramatically, you hear Rossi and Hotch sigh deeply, already knowing where this was going. “Say it. Out loud.”

Derek and Emily share a confused look. “Werewolf.” Hotch mumbled, hoping to get this whole thing over with.

You turn around dramatically, “Are you afraid?”

“No.” You grin, you had never heard Hotch sound so done with you in your life. This was brilliant. 

“This is the face of a killer, Bella.” You say, disappointed when none of them get your reference. “Really? None of you? JJ, come on, you know what Cullen means, surely you get it?”

“Sorry, I’ve never actually seen Twilight,”

“Ugh,” You groaned, “Penelope would get it, you all need to be more like Penelope and laugh at my jokes,”

“No need to bite back so hard, kid,” Derek grins. 

“If this becomes a frequent thing, I might actually kill you.” You state. 

“You’re all bark and no bite,” A growl sounds through your throat and your eyes flash. Derek puts his hands up in surrender, “Alright, alright, no more jokes. Can you eat chocolate though? Serious question. Rossi, why’s he looking at me like that? Rossi, Rossi-!” Derek yelped as you tackled him to the ground.

“Yes I can eat chocolate, it makes me feel sick though.” You answer, you hadn’t shifted, you just wanted to scare him a little. “Nice yelp though, sounded like a little girl.”

“I did not!”

“Yeah, you did,” Emily answered with a snort. 

Now, months later, you stand in a warehouse, locating the unsub with Rossi whilst you wait for backup. “He’s definitely here,” You mumble, “Jesus, he eats a lot of fast food,” Rossi gives a small snort, “I think he’s in here,” You say, pointing at the room just ahead of you. Rossi nods, raising his gun slightly as he begins to enter the room, you’re close behind.

You watch in horror as the gun cocks into place, you let yourself start to shift - knowing that you wouldn’t be able to make it in time in human form. You weren’t going to let them get hurt. You were nothing if not loyal. Rossi waits for the bullet. He knew it was going to happen eventually, it was inevitable in this line of work. But the bullet doesn’t come, instead, the crack of the gun in heard, as well as the sound of impact. Then nothing. And then the small whine comes. It’s pathetic and sounds like a wounded animal. A wounded animal. It clicks and Rossi looks around, spotting the form of a wolf, he watches as the fur shifts, slowly turning to skin in order to preserve your energy. 

Another shot sounds and the unsub drops down dead. Rossi sends a brief nod of thanks to Morgan as he rushes over to you, shrugging off his windbreaker to place over you. Morgan joins him, peering over you, eyes widening when he sees the bullet wound. He reaches for the radio, “We need a-” Rossi puts his hand up and Derek stops.

“What do you need us to do?” Rossi asked, turning back to you.

“Rossi, he needs an ambulance,”

You shook your head, “My body will heal, I just need to get it out,” Rossi nodded as you lifted your head, the bullet wasn’t too far in. You could probably just reach in and grab it, you’re body would flush out any infection or bacteria that was in the wound and you’d be as good as new within a day or two. Your fingers hovered above the bullet wound and you let your head drop back to the floor. You take a deep breath before you plunge the fingers into the wound, feeling for the bullet. Your back arches and you ground your teeth, you clench the bullet with your finger tips and force yourself to take a deep breath before you pass out or something. And then, when you’ve got a good grip, you yank it out. And fuck it hurts. You groan loudly through your teeth, throwing the bullet to the floor.

“You okay?” Derek asked, you huff a small laugh as you nod.

“Just peachy,” You mumble. “I’ll be fine. The outside of the wound will close within a few hours anyway,”

“Won’t you bleed out?”

“Should be fine,” You said with a shrug, “This is hardly the first time I’ve been shot,” And with that, you force yourself back on your feet, clutching a hand to the wound as you walk.

When you’re back on the jet, now with a gauze over your wound, you lay slowly on the couch. “I know what will help,” You say, lifting your head up slightly, “I’m going to make you all watch Twilight. You need to get my jokes - they’re like over half of my humour and none of that can be appreciated if you haven’t seen it.”

“Is it any good?” Emily asked, you shook your head.

“Nope, it’s absolute horse crap,”

“Then why make us watch it?”

“Because you all need to suffer to get my humour,” You said, before adding, “And I’m injured so you can’t say no,”

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #aaron hotchner #david rossi #spencer reid #erin strauss #werewolf #werewolf reader #teen reader (although I picture reader at like 20-ish) #male reader #x male reader #Bullet wound #blood #make shift first aid

[mgcldydrms]

Daddy’s Duty ( Remus Lupin )

summary: after an exhausting few weeks, remus tells you to go out with your friends and have a good time while he stays at home and takes care of your children

word count: 2k

warnings: mention of babies, loads and loads of fluff

pairing: young!remus lupin x fem!reader

author's note: this is a re-post from my old account, however, I just needed to post it on here again because who doesn't love a bit of dad!remus.

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Children. Have you ever thought about having them? Of course, you have. There are not a lot of women out there who wouldn’t love to have a child. You always wanted to be a mother. You and your boyfriend, Remus, have talked about having a family of your own quite early in your relationship. Two boys and a girl, maybe even another girl, that was what you have always wanted.

You could see yourself in a house in the countryside where your children could grow up, and you and Remus could grow old. You wanted a big garden where the little ones would run around and play their favourite games. Eventually, they would move out and have their own families, but that wasn’t something you wanted to think about just yet. 

Your whole life, you had thought about how it would feel to have your own little, well maybe not so little, family with Remus. Did you write a list of names down? Of course. Did you slightly plan out your next five years? Obviously. But did your plan really turn out the way you wanted it to be? Not in the slightest.

Without even realizing it, you had gotten pregnant. The worst thing was that you had just graduated from Hogwarts. At first, you hadn’t felt any different, but with time you felt more tired and exhausted, and you got overwhelmed by the smallest things. And even though you have always been quite emotional, the tears flowed even quicker. 

Remus had wondered what was wrong with you but didn’t question it until he found you on the floor of your small bathroom, a pregnancy test in your hands and tears staining your cheeks. He knew that this only meant one thing.

Now here you were. Six months after giving birth to not just one but two babies. A boy and a girl. After finding out that you were pregnant with not just one but two, you were shocked, to say the least. However, you were the happiest you have ever been. You loved your two angels dearly.

Your initial plan was to marry Remus first and maybe try for children a year or two later, however, you found out pretty quickly that some plans never work out the way they intend to. 

The first six months with your beautiful children have been full of happiness and love but also exhaustion and tiredness. 

At first, your baby girl and baby boy had slept through almost the whole night and only needed to be fed once. However, that changed quite quickly, and so they woke you and Remus up multiple times a night. Your now fiancee tried to help as much as he could, but whenever they were hungry, and you needed to feed them, Remus sat on your bed, a defeated look gracing his face, knowing that was one task he couldn’t help with. Yet he was always there when diapers needed to be changed or if one of them was fussy and needed some comfort. 

He knew that these last couple of months had been quite draining for you, hence he wanted you to have a day off from all mummy duties. 

“Are you sure?” you had asked him in the morning, a worried expression on your face while Remus couldn’t help but chuckle. Your two babies were peacefully asleep in their small cribs. 

Your fiancee put his hands on your shoulders and leaned in to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, his attempt to wash away the worry.

“I can do this. Now go, have a great day,” he told you with a bright smile on his face.

He kissed your lips lovingly before he pushed you playfully out of the door, giggles leaving your lips as you made your way out of the house, secretly looking forward to spending a day with a few of your closest friends. 

“I can do this.”, Remus said one more time, this time to himself, while he started to prepare lunch for the two napping babies. Even now, they were still sleeping a lot which was fine. During that time, you usually got some work done around the house, which would be Remus’ task now, hence he started right away. 

Of course, he used a bit of magic here and there. He didn’t know how to properly fold the clothes, hence he used a quick spell to do so. He also washed the dirty dishes and tidied up the living room, which was full of small toys that were scattered around on the floor. 

Once he was done, he sat down on the sofa. An exhausted sigh left his lips, but before he could fully relax, he already heard the babies making noises from their room.

He immediately got up from the sofa again and made his way over to the kids’ room. As soon as he saw his children looking up at him, a bright smile placed itself on his lips. 

“Hello, sleepy heads.”

He took his kids in his arms, dropping kisses on both of their heads before he walked out of the room and into the kitchen. Remus sat them down on their highchairs. He swiftly turned around and looked for the food he had prepared for them only an hour ago. With his foot, he dragged one of the chairs closer to the twins and sat down in front of them. 

“Lunch time.”, Remus happily announced before he sat the two plates down in front of them, two matching spoons in both of them. 

He started feeding his boy first, who got way too excited at seeing the freshly made lunch. Remus popped the spoon in the little boy’s mouth before he did the same to his daughter. That went on for a little while until your baby boy decided he had enough and started playing with his food rather than eating it.

“Oh, no, y/s/n. Don’t do that.”, your fiancee said, quickly taking the little boy’s hand out of the food, but there was no use to it. He quickly dropped it back into the plate, and some of the food splashed around, landing directly on Remus’ face. 

Your two babies couldn’t contain their laughter, amused at the fact that their daddy had food all over his face. 

“You two rascals.”, Remus said, lightly tickling them both on their bellies, which made more giggles erupt out of their mouths. 

After lunch was done, and everything and everyone was cleaned, the three of them made their way into the living room and sat down, or rather laid down, on the floor. 

“So, what do you want to play with?”, Remus questioned, pulling a few toys closer to the twins. 

Your twin girl crawled over to a stuffed animal, a fluffy one she got gifted by one of her lovely uncles, while her brother took a small toy car and pushed it into his mouth. Lately, they were trying to taste everything with their mouths. 

Remus watched the two play separately but also with one another, even though just for a short amount of time. He looked at the two of them and noticed how much they had already changed in just six months. Your daughter looked a lot like him, while your son had your nose, as well as your beautiful e/c eyes. But all in all, they were a perfect mix between you and Remus. 

The rest of the day went by quite swiftly. The three of them stayed at home most of the time except when they left the house and took a small walk around the area they lived in. After they came back, Remus quickly made some dinner for the twins and for him, his eyes drifting to a clock, wanting to know how late it was since the two little ones had to go to bed soon. 

After dinner time, it was bath time. Remus bathed your daughter and son in a small bathtub that was absolutely perfect for them. They fit in it together, hence there was no need for any of them to wait while the other one got washed. Remus could already tell that they were tired and needed their beds. Their tiny hands rubbed at their eyes from time to time, and little yawns left their lips every now and then. 

“Time to go to bed loves.”, Remus announced, taking both of them in his arms, pressing a set of kisses on their warm heads while he made his way over to their room.

He laid both of them down in their specific cribs, kissing the twins goodnight before he took a book from the shelf. Ever since you gave birth to your beautiful babies, you made it a ritual to read a short story to them just before they went to bed. They were mostly goodnight stories for children, magical ones, as well as muggle ones. Reading was something you wanted your kids to pick up later on, hopefully as soon as they can read because it has been something you have enjoyed ever since you were a small child. 

While reading his bedtime story, Remus didn’t even hear the front door open or the way you walked through the house and came to a stop in the doorway of the twins’ room. 

A soft smile graced your lips while you listened to the story your fiancee told the children. They must have fallen asleep as soon as they hit their small mattresses, or else they would still be making some noises. 

When the story came to an end, Remus got up from his chair and walked over to the cribs once more, looking down at his two sleeping angels. He had no idea how he got this lucky to have you or the kids in his life, but he was thankful every day.

He put the book back on the shelf before he turned around and finally noticed you standing there, watching him with a loving smile on your lips. 

“Hello.”, you whispered as Remus made his way over to you, immediately leaning in to press a soft kiss on your lips, welcoming you home.

He didn’t want to admit it out loud, but he had missed you, even if you were only gone for a few hours. 

You took your fiancee’s hand in yours, squeezing it gently before you guided him out of the room, quietly closing the door to the twins’ room so they wouldn’t wake up again. 

“How was your day?” Remus asked you while the two of you made your way into the living room, almost immediately plopping down on the sofa where you cuddled up to him, enjoying the warmth of his body. 

Remus pressed a sweet kiss on top of your head while he put his arm around your shoulders so your head could find a place on his.

“I had a great time. It felt good to be outside again, but I also missed you three a lot. This was probably the first time ever since the twins were born that we were separated for such a long time.”, you admitted, lifting your head off his shoulder one more time to look into his eyes. 

Remus nodded as he lifted his hand up and pushed a strand of your h/c hair behind your ears, his hand then finding a spot on your cheek, his thumb lightly caressing it. 

“I missed you too.”, he quietly confessed, leaning in to press his lips on yours again, this time not pulling away right away. Your lips moved perfectly in sync, slight smiles on your lips while you cupped one of his cheeks with your hand, pulling Remus as close to you as possible. 

The rest of your evening was spent on your sofa, cuddling and talking before you both went to bed, preparing yourself for the night and the next day.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin imagine #young!remus x reader #dad!remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fluff #marauders imagines #marauders x reader #remus lupin fanfiction #marauders fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction

[the-magicians-blue]

hey. ill give u some candy if u make more micah yujin content pspsps

👀 I would like twix please and thank you. Speaking of sweet things…

ALSO TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY WHO ARE THEY???

5:37pm

The biggest surprise Micah got when he started dating you was how sweet you actually are and how much you’re into him. He knew you liked him, but it’s not until you become a little more open and honest with him that he feels you love for him is as deep as his love for you. Of course the feisty side of you is still there and he still finds your back and forth banter exciting and sexy but BOI does he love your sweeter side. You were so gentle with him sometimes he felt one day he’d just melt and turn into a puddle of Micah. He’d like to think you’d still love him though.

You always make a point to set time aside to spend with him, even if its just a movie and cuddles before bed or a long video call on nights when he can’t be with you physically. He swears he was sent to heaven when he noticed your planner had ‘Micah Time <3’ on literally every day. Like how can someone be that cute??? He doesn’t get it??? Of course he never tells you that he saw your planner but every now when you call him or join him on the couch he’ll casually ask:

“Oh? Is it Micah time Angel? Good. I missed ya~”

To this day you aren’t sure if its a coincidence or if he knows.

On days where you’re both free to spend more time together sometimes you take him off guard with having something planned for you to do together. His favorite is when you find a desert recipe to try and make. He loves sweets and cooking. Adding you to the mix makes them a million times better for him. You two made a cake together once for his birthday and it became his favorite birthday gift to date.

Of course you being sweet doesn’t bar him from teasing you. The one thing he will never let you live down was when he caught you simping over him while gaming on call with your friend. You thought he was in the kitchen and you were in the clear to talk about him. Little did you know the sneaky man had decided to record your call onto his computer while you were distracted by the game and your friend when he overheard the mention of his name when he walked by the door. He listened in from a different room and was both floored and over the moon about how you described him to your friends. He’ll never admit it but he cried hearing what you had to say about him.

“He’s just so… amazingly perfect? Like yeah I wanna beat his ass half the time but like in a romantic way? It’s weird I deadass hated this man a few months ago and now I get depressed if I don’t hear from him at least once a day. This man has me in a choke hold and it concerns me that I’m becoming more an more ok with it. Like brodie I am DOWN BAD for this man. He could literally try to seduce me in that dumb weenie costume he has and I’d still think he’s cute. It’s weird… I don’t ever think I’ve been into someone this much before, especially in such a short time. It’s scary, but in a good way I guess…”

Later that night he showed up in his weenie costume with a smirk as started flirting with you, giving you the corniest jokes he’s got. When you laugh and tell him to leave and take the costume off he raises an eyebrow and goes:

“Oh? Why should I? If I’m remembering correctly didn’t you say you’d still think I’m cute weenie suit or not? I thought you were down bad for me~ Don’t try and deny it angel, I’ve got it all recorded.”

To this day he thanks the universe that he thought to have his camera ready because the look on your face was priceless for him. He even keeps as his home screen (not lock screen he would never allow anyone else to see such a cute reaction) or sends it to you randomly whenever you think you have the upper hand in one of your banters. However he never sends the actual recording to you. Thats his and his alone to hear. Whenever he has to be away from your home for a long period of time or he wants your attention while your working he’ll listen to to remind himself that you love him just as much as he does and even if you’re both busy eventually Micah Time will come around and he’ll have you to himself. Can’t have Micah Time without his angel right?

#micah yujin fluff #micah yujin x reader #micah x reader #micah yujin #error143 #please play error143! #can we please make Micah Time a thing?

[vodika-vibes]

Neverland

Summary: When you were a child, you and your twin went missing for six months. You escaped, but your twin didn't. And now that you're an adult you realize that Captain Howzer is hunting the person who took you.

Pairing: Kight Captain Howzer x Reader

Word Count: 4351

Warnings: Mention of child death

A/N: So, I developed a migraine halfway through writing this, so I'm not sure if I'm happy with it or not. But I'm posting it anyway. Also, I've never written Howzer before.

Divider by saradika

“-we’d really appreciate it if you came down to the memorial. Your mother would appreciate it.” Your dad smiles at you across the mirror, “I know it’s a hard thing for you angel, but-”

“Mother blamed me, dad.” You reply with a sigh, “We both know she doesn’t want me there.”

“She loves you, baby girl.” Your dad says quietly, “She just…forgets that sometimes. It’d be great if you came to the memorial anyway.”

“I’m sorry dad, but I’m not going.” You lean back in your desk chair, “I know you all want me there, but dad, you’re the only one who doesn’t blame me. Besides, I have so much work to do…”

Your dad sighs, “They were grieving, baby.”

“So was I. I lost my other half, and somehow their grief is more than mine?” You shake your head, “I’m sorry dad, I’m not going to the memorial.”

Your dad sighs again, “Will I see you this weekend?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. It depends on my workload.”

“Alright. Love you baby girl.”

“Yeah, love you too, dad.” You end the call with a quiet sigh, and promptly toss the mirror into your desk. The last thing you want is for your mother to call you and ream you out for not attending her golden baby’s memorial.

Ironically, you probably could make it to the memorial. Captain Howzer wouldn’t deny you that, and it’s the end of the work day anyway…but the idea of coming face to face with the people who accused you of being the reason your own twin died…

Well, you have good reason to not have anything to do with them.

You sort through the paperwork on your desk, organizing them into piles for later while you try to forget everything that happened to you all those years ago. Everything that had led to your twin brother’s death.

It was just after your seventh birthday, your parents had surprised you and your brother with your own rooms, and while you both loved having your own space, sleeping apart was still weird. More so for your brother, than you.

He snuck into your room and curled up into your bed, and the pair of you stayed awake until midnight, just talking and giggling with each other. And that was when He appeared.

He was a boy, only about ten years old, and he flew in your bedroom window. He regaled you and your brother with stories about adventures and wonder, and then asked your brother to come with him, promising him the adventure of a lifetime.

He refused to go with the boy unless you could go with him. 

And the boy agreed. 

And He took you and your brother to a wondrous place. A place where the sky was always blue and the water was always clean, and He took the pair of you, and the other children, on adventures like from a storybook-

But, unlike your brother and the other boys, Neverland, as He called it, never felt safe to you. You always felt like someone was watching you, you never could relax enough to sleep for longer than a few hours at most.

Your brother told you that you were just feeling guilty for running off without telling mom and dad. He said it would pass, because it did for him, but you weren’t quite sure.

So you wandered. You started spending more and more time on your own, and He didn’t mind because He didn’t want you there to begin with. And the more you wandered, the more unsettled you became.

The further you strayed from Him, the less bright the world became. Trees twisted and curled, grass wilted, the sky turned brown and then gray, and the water became dull and murky-

And then you met her. She was a mermaid, though unlike the mermaids in the crystal clear lagoons nearer to His home, this one was older and tired looking. She was naught but skin and bones, and her hair was a tangled mat. And she watched you with sightless eyes.

The mermaid, who refused to give her name, and spoke in a raspy whisper, led you down the filthy river that she called home, until she came to a lake. And there, the mermaid pointed into the water.

Littering the bottom of the lake were skeletons. Hundreds of them. Maybe more. All of them the size of the average child. 

The mermaid whispered what He did. How He traveled from Neverland to the Mortal Realm and he coaxed children into leaving their home, and families, to go on an adventure with him. She whispered that he killed all of the children he took, with no exceptions. 

And then she told you to run. She said that your brother was lost, had become one of His Lost Boys, and wouldn’t follow you even if he wanted, and she whispered a path out. An opening that He didn’t know about.

And, though it broke your heart, you knew she was right. Your brother wasn’t yours anymore. He had taken him.

The path back to the mortal realm was fraught with perils, you nearly died several times (from falling, drowning, and animal attacks) until you were finally able to stumble through the portal back to where you were supposed to be.

And as soon as you were back in the mortal realm, you collapsed.

What had felt like a week for you, had been six months in the mortal realm.

It took six months for you to physically recover, though some of the scars remain still, and you needed therapy for years to help you heal mentally. But eventually you did. 

And now, every year, your mother wants to drag you to the memorial and force you to relive the trauma. Oh, she never makes you talk about it, but she does make you relive it. Over and over and over-

You exhale slowly and pinch the bridge of your nose to try and stem the headache you feel forming, and then you grab a stack of folders and push to your feet. You’re done with them, which means they need to go on the Captain’s desk.

You glance at the clock and make a face. It’s late enough that the Captain probably already left for the day. Which means you’ll have to leave a note about the files for him to see when he comes in in the morning.

You leave your office, and walk down the hall to where Captain Howzer works. You’re surprised to notice that his office lights are still on. Which means he’s working late…or he forgot to turn off the light.

You lightly knock on the door, and wait a moment. You’re only a little surprised when you hear him tell you the door is unlocked. You push open the door and flash the smallest smile at Howzer, “Burning the midnight oil, Captain?”

“It’s not that late, mesh’la,” Captain Howzer leans back in his chair, a smile crossing his handsome face, “Besides, you’re still here.”

“Yes, but I’m intentionally being an unfilial daughter by staying here and giving myself more work. What’s your excuse?” You ask as you set the stack of folders in his inbox.

He glances at the folders, “I have a blind date that I’m skipping.” Howzer replies.

“That’s so rude.” You say as you fold your arms.

“Yeah, well…I have my eye on someone, and going on a blind date isn’t going to make her view me positively.” Howzer replies, “I sent someone else to go in my place. Identical faces and all.”

You roll your eyes, “You’re not identical, Captain.”

“Howzer.”

“Sorry?”

“It’s just us here, mesh’la. You can just call me by my name.”

You shake your head, “Fine. You’re not all identical, Howzer.” You repeat, emphasizing his name.

“You’ll find that most of the world doesn’t agree with you,” Howzer replies with a grin, his gaze locked on your face, “Have a seat, mesh’la. I’m not going to kick you out of my office.”

You sink into the chair across from him, “Did you have something you needed to talk about?” You ask.

“I like hearing you talk,” Howzer replies bluntly, grinning when a pale blush crosses your face, “So, mesh’la, what family event are you skipping?”

“Uh…a memorial.” You say quietly, “For my twin brother. Who died 14 years ago.”

“I’m sorry.” Howzer says quietly.

“No it…” you sigh, “It was a long time ago, and I’ve mostly made my peace with it.”

“Mostly?”

“My family blames me.” You explain, “Because I escaped and he didn’t.”

“Wait, wait. What do you mean escaped?” Howzer asks with a frown.

“Is this not in my file?” You counter, surprised.

“No, not at all.”

“Uh, right. Well…we were seven, and someone kidnapped us. I was missing for six months.” You shrug awkwardly, “It took me over a year to physically recover…and even longer to recover mentally.”

“And the man who took you?”

“Ah…never captured.”

“I’m sorry. That’s awful.” Howzer says quietly.

“Yeah, well…I survived. I’m the lucky one.” You shrug again, and absently fiddle with the hem of your shirt, “Anyway, todays the anniversary of the day I was found, and I prefer to spend the day working, rather than wallowing.”

“I can understand that,” Howzer agrees, “You want something to drink?”

“If you’re offering me the toxic caf from the break room-”

He laughs, “No. I have my own machine here. You want some?”

“Yeah, okay.”

He gets up to start the caf, and you turn to watch him, sitting in comfortable silence (you’ve always been comfortable around Howzer, which is weird since most people make you a little anxious), and then something catches your eye.

Howzer keeps a corkboard in his office, for when he has to plan campaigns. And you’ve just noticed that there’s something on the back of the board. “What’s this?” You ask as you get to your feet, “Are you planning a campaign, Howzer?”

He turns and winces when he sees you flipping the cork board, “It’s a case. I’ve been studying.”

You stare at the board, your fingers lightly trailing from posters of missing children, going back centuries, to case notes with interviews from the parents.

“All of the case files say the same thing,” Howzer says as he walks over and hands you a mug of caf, “The parents put their son to bed, and then, when they woke up, their son was gone.” He explains, “A lot of parents were arrested for the murder of their child. I don’t think the parents ever did it though.”

The pictures are layered on the board, due to how many there are, and you lift one of the pictures, and your breath catches. One of the pictures was of a little boy, with bright red hair, and missing his front two teeth. You knew that boy. He used to cry every night in Neverland…and he vanished on your second day in Neverland.

“It would be easier to solve if there were any witnesses,” Howzer says with a sigh, “Kids…kids don’t deserve this.”

You carefully lift more of the pictures, picking out faces of boys that you know, and recognize. “No one deserves this,” You say quietly, “What He does to those boys is…monstrous.”

Howzer hums, and then freezes, and turns to look at you, “He?”

“Yeah.” You fold your arms over your stomach, anxiety coiling though you, “Peter. His name is Peter.”

“How can you possibly-” Howzer turns to face you completely, and something like horror crosses his face, “You were taken by the man who did this?”

“Boy. Peter’s a boy. Or at least looks like a boy,” You correct absently, “And…yeah. I was.”

“I’ve looked into every missing child case in the last 100 years, and your name never crossed my desk,” Howzer mumbled.

“My parents reported us as runaways. It was only after I was found that people realized that we were kidnapped.” You rub your arms quickly, “And by that point it wasn’t a missing persons case anymore…it became a murder investigation. But no one ever asked me what happened.”

“No one?”

You shrug, “The police tried, but I was malnourished, badly injured, and severely traumatized. Everyone thought that the boy I was talking about was my brother.”

“This Peter…he hurt you?”

“No. He didn’t care about me. But when I was escaping I was attacked by a wild wolf,” You hesitate for a moment, and then take a step back and peel off your jacket, and then your shirt, leaving you in the thin tank-top you always wear under your clothes. You lift the tank top slightly, revealing the nasty scar on your abdomen.

“They couldn’t heal it?” Howzer asks as his fingers lightly brush the scar.

You shiver, “They tried, but…well, it didn’t want to heal at all. So they gave up on not it not scarring and settled for me not bleeding to death.”

He slowly pulls his hand away, though he remains closer to you than would normally be proper, “How did you escape?”

“A native. She pointed me in the right direction, and told me how to get out.” You reply as you look up at his face. You hesitate and nervously lick your lips, “The portal is still there, Howzer. And it’s big enough for a man to pass through.”

His gaze snaps to your face, “You’re sure?”

“I bought the land around the portal. I check on it weekly. I…I keep hoping that maybe another kid will fall out, but-”

“Why haven’t you gone back?” Howzer asks.

“I…by myself? I can’t. I…maybe that makes me a coward-”

“What if I go with you?” He places his hands on your shoulders, “What if I go with you to this Neverland. We can rescue what kids are there, and catch this Peter.”

“Peter’s dangerous, Howzer.”

He smiles at you, there’s a glimmer of something dangerous in his gaze, though it’s not directed at you. “So am I.”

You stare up at him, silent, “...okay. If you come with me, then…yeah. Just…make yourself look less soldier-y?”

“I can do that,” He says with a grin, as his thumbs rub soothing circles on your shoulders.

You hesitate for a moment, and then stand on your toes to brush your lips against his cheek, “Thank you, Howzer.”

His answering smile is small, and lazy, and his hands move just a little so he’s able to rub circles on the side of your neck, “Would you like to go get dinner?” He asks.

“Like…as friends?”

“Like, as a date.” He corrects with a sly grin.

Your jaw drops, “Oh. Um…yeah. Okay. I’d like that.” You manage to squeak out as your face flames red.

“Excellent. And then, tomorrow, we can get started on solving this case.”

You smile up at him, “That sounds like a plan to me.”

**************

The following morning, after a wonderful date that you didn’t want to end, you led Howzer to your small strip of property far outside the city. You’ve tended to the land as best you can, dedicating it to wildflowers and other wild plants, but even so, there’s no animals in the area.

It’s just dead silence.

“So this place is pretty,” Howzer notes as he follows you down a path that you made, “Creepy, somehow, but still pretty.”

“Mm. I think it’s the portal that makes it feel like that,” You reply over your shoulder, “The closer we get the less healthy the plants will become. You’ll see.”

“If you say so, mesh’la.” He replies, speeding up slightly and taking your hand in his. “Are you okay? You’re trembling.”

You thread your fingers with his, and squeeze his hand lightly, “Just nervous, Howzer.”

“Hey, I’m not going to let you get hurt.” He says.

“You might not have a choice.” You squeeze his hand again, and then lead him down a winding path that he wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t shown him.

True to what you said, the further away from the road you walked, the less healthy the plants became. Until you led him to a cave. Death seemed to snake out of the cave, leeching the life from the plants in the area around the cave.

“In there?” Howzer asked as he moved closer to the cave.

You wrap your hands around his forearm, and press yourself against his arm, “Yeah.” You whisper.

“What can I expect on the other side?”

“Um. It’ll look similar to this,” You say, “Lots of dead plants, and the sky will either be gray or brown. We’ll want to follow the river to get to the lake.”

“What are the odds that Peter will be there waiting for us?”

“None at all. He doesn’t…he’s unaware of this opening, or else he would have destroyed it.”

“Good to know,” Howzer murmurs, and then he turns to look at you properly, “You don’t have to come with me, mesh’la.” He very gently cups your face and tilts your head back so you’re looking up at him.

“I do though,” You reply as you finally release his arm and press your hands over his, “Let me come with you, please Howzer?”

His thumbs rub soothing circles on your cheeks, “How could I ever say no to you when you ask me so nicely?” His smile is slightly teasing, though he becomes serious after a moment, “I want you to stay close, mesh’la. No running off and playing the hero. And you’ll listen if I tell you to do something.”

You nod once.

His grip tightens, just a little, “I need to hear you say it, mesh’la.”

“I’ll listen and stay close,” You promise.

“Okay, good.” He quickly leans in and ghosts a kiss against your temple, before he releases you and takes your hand instead, and he tugs you towards the cave.

You walk through the dark cave, until the scent changes from musty cave, to rotten meat, and then there’s dim sunlight ahead of you and then you and Howzer step into Neverland.

It looks…exactly like you remember it. Dreary and bleak, and smelling of death and rot.

“...kids like this place?” Howzer asks, as he looks around. His gaze lingers on fallen, dead, trees, and then his gaze darts over to the water, which is so murky it almost looks black. 

“The closer they are to Peter the better it looks. As I understand it, this is far outside of Peter’s power.” You reply.

Howzer walks over to a fallen log and kicks it with one foot, and the log crumbles almost immediately, “And you navigated this at seven years old?”

“I was motivated.” You joke weakly. “The path should be easier now, though. I think it was always designed for adults.”

“Are there any adults here? Other than us?”

“I never saw any, but I’m not the best to ask.” You point at the water, “We should follow that back to the lake.”

“Yeah, alright.” He holds his hand out to you, and you immediately take it, and then he takes a good look at the water, and starts walking in the opposite direction it’s flowing.

It still takes several hours to make it to the lake, the path a lot easier with the longer legs of an adult…plus there being two of you. And without the animal attack that nearly killed you the first time, which had slowed you down a lot when you were originally trying to escape. 

“This is the lake?” Howzer asks.

“Yeah,” You lean lightly against him and motion to the center of the lake, “Look. There.”

In the center of the lake, sitting on a massive rock, is the same mermaid who helped you escape all those years ago. Still just as skeletal, her hair just as matted. Though, when she hears you, a grin crosses her ancient face.

She swims across the lake, and settles on a rock much closer to shore, “I knew you would return.” She says in her raspy voice, “And I knew that you would bring a friend.”

“I…this is Captain Howzer-” You start to explain, only for her to let out a delighted cackle, so suddenly that Howzer jerks you sharply behind him.

“A Military man,” She cackles, “How long has it been…?” She pins Howzer in place with a sharp look, “You are a soldier?”

“Yes ma’am,”

“Good, good.” Her tail flicks sharply, “Then hear me well. Peter has six boys with him right now. Of those six, only half will survive leaving Neverland.”

“What about the other three?” Howzer asks.

“It’s too late for them. By the time you reach them, Peter will have already claimed them.” The mermaid says, “But you can claim the other three.”

“Do you know where they are?” You ask.

“They are at the tree,” She replies, “You remember the one?”

You nod once.

“Good. You know the route from here. Neverland isn’t that big when you walk it as an adult.” Her smile is cruel, “As for stopping Peter…well, there’s no stopping him, not really. But you can trap him here in Neverland.” Her sightless eyes gleam.

“How do we do that?” Howzer asks.

“That’s not something you can do. No need to worry, you go and get those children, and I’ll handle everything else.” Her smile is sharp, and dangerous. 

You nervously tug on Howzer’s arm, “We should…we should hurry.” 

“Yeah. Yeah we should.” Howzer lightly motions for you to start walking, and he only turns to follow you when the mermaid retreats to the center of the lake.

All things considered, the task you and Howzer were given is simple. It is easy to find the tree, since you already know where it is, and it’s even easier to convince the children to come with you. They want to go home to their parents, and Howzer has a familiar face, a face that they know even if they don’t know him.

And even making the trip back to the exit is quick. The children are eager to follow you so they can go home, and they’re more than happy to accept help.

You pass by the lake, and the mermaid is gone.

You walk the long trail between the lake and the exit in several hours, and then you enter the cave, with the children in front of you, and Howzer in the very back.

As soon as you step foot back in the mortal realm, the three children collapse from exhaustion and hunger. You carefully carry one of the children up to the road, while Howzer carries the other two.

And then you gently tend to them in the shade of a massive tree while Howzer calls for aid. And after the authorities showed up, and Howzer answered questions while you helped the medics get the children into their transport, you settled yourself under a tree and let your head thump against the bark.

You watched as Howzer finished speaking to the authorities, including some of his younger brothers, and you watched as slowly, everyone who came at Howzer’s call slowly left, until it’s just you and Howzer.

And he turns and favors you with a warm smile, and he walks over and sits on the ground next to you. “So, that was fun.” Howzer says lightly as he turns his head to watch you.

“You have a weird definition of fun, Captain.” You reply as you turn your head to smile at him. 

“Maybe.” He agrees, “Do you think Neverland is cut off?”

“I dunno. I doubt we ever will.” You reply honestly, “Some things aren’t for people to know.”

“Yeah. I suppose that’s true.” Howzer replies. He’s quiet for a long moment, and then he flashes you a slightly sly smile, “You want to go get something to eat?”

“...are you asking me on another date, Howzer?”

“Absolutely.” His grin grows, “Eventually I’ll wear you down and I can ask you to be my girlfriend.”

You shake your head with a laugh, “Why don’t you just ask?”

“I think wooing you will be fun,” Howzer replies cheerfully, “So there’s going to be flowers, and dinner dates, and breakfast dates-”

“Oh, stars,” You break down laughing, feeling lighter than you have in years, “Howzer! I’ll be your girlfriend! Please don’t try to bring me on any breakfast dates.”

“But it’ll be fun! We can get up early and watch the sunrise. Of course this only works if you spend the night at my place-” He adds slyly.

“Oh, so this is you trying to get me to spend the night,” You reply with a grin.

“Eh, 50-50. I definitely want to be able to hug and kiss you whenever I want. But I also really want you in my bed. Or to be in your bed, I’m really not picky, mesh’la.” Howzer grins at you.

And you blush, “You’re awful.”

“And yet, you already agreed to be my girlfriend. So there’s clearly something about me you like.”

You glance at him, a teasing smile crossing your lips, “It’s your hair. You have fancy hair and it caught my attention.”

He tugs you against his side, and drapes his arm over your shoulder, “Hey, I’ll take it.” He ducks his head and brushes his lips against the corner of your lips, and you release a frustrated noise in the back of your throat. “Problem, mesh’la?” he asks, his lips curling into a grin against your skin.

“You should kiss me properly,” You reply.

“Mm. Should I?”

“Yes.”

“Well, if that’s what ner mesh’la wants,” He murmurs as he shifts ever so slightly and kisses you properly, deepening the kiss until he’s taken over everything that you are. And your arms come up to wrap around his neck as he pulls you closer, until you’re almost sitting on him. And then he breaks the kiss, “Like that?”

“Mm…I’m not sure. You should show me again.” You tease, slightly breathlessly.

“Greedy,” He teases right back, and then he seals his lips over yours again.

#star wars #tcw #star wars au #captain howzer x reader #howzer x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction

[dear-friends-12]

When you get jealous. (Ninjago boys x reader) HC

Kai

You didn’t care for this Skylar girl. For some reason Kai acted a bit differently with her. You didn’t know why. Until you found out that they dated for months. They broke up for some unknown reason. All of this happened before Kai met you. You were jealous yes. But,Kai looked so happy when he was with her. All you wanted was for him to be happy. You sighed. He thought that you needed a day out. Only he brought Skylar. You didn’t get upset. Because Kai didn’t know what you were dealing with. He thought that you were stressed. After all you had to translate an ancient book for the team. This was a very hard task. Because it was in an ancient language that nobody understood. Zane tried. But,he didn’t understand it either.

The three of you went to the boardwalk fair. “Look (Y/n) it’s your favorite restaurant! Let’s get a bite to eat.”Kai said. “The desserts look good too.” Skylar added. “Huh? Yeah that sounds good.” You replied. Maybe if you ate something it would cheer you up. This is your favorite place to eat. Only you kept on looking out the window and not paying attention. Even when after you were done eating. You almost hit your head on light post. Kai grabbed your hand and lead you away. “Watch out.” He said. You had a huge blush on your face. “Sorry.” You apologized. “You don’t have to apologize. Are you feeling okay? It wasn’t the food was it?” Kai asked concerned. You shook your head. “No. I-I just have a lot on my mind.” You admitted. “Maybe we should go back.” Skylar suggested. “No. I don’t want to ruin your night. I’ll wait here you can go on a ride.” You said.

Later, You texted Kai saying that you went back to the bounty. He hadn’t seen Skylar for a long while and you didn’t want to ruin. You tried working on translating the book. But,you couldn’t. You had too many what if’s in your mind. You laid in bed. Kai knocked on your door and you told him to come in. “What was that about? We should’ve headed back together.” “It’s okay. I made it back safely.” You replied. “I know. But,if anything happened to you…” He said frowning. “Nothing did.” You held his hand. “Honey what’s wrong with you? You’re not yourself.” He said hugging you. You told him. “You don’t have to feel that way. Because I realized that you’re the one for me. I love you so much. You brighten up my day when I’m blue.” He smiled at you. You cried. “Shhh. It’s going to be okay.” He said. That night he made sure that you got all the hugs and kisses you needed.

Jay

Jay has been hanging out with Nya way too much lately. At first it didn’t bother you. Jay likes fixing things and Nya likes fixing things. It made sense. Until he was late for your date. He had you waiting for two hours. After waiting for two hours. You went back to the bounty and to your room. “What should I do? Maybe Jay just forgot…or got lost track of time. Yeah that has to be it.” You said brushing your jealousy away. You knew that he couldn’t be with you all the time. Besides Nya is his friend. You know how much he treasures his friends. You sent Jay a simple text. “I love you. <3” You went to bed early that night. Only you did have trouble sleeping.

You got up in the middle of the night and admired the stars. “I probably just needed fresh air.” You said hugging yourself. You could feel like someone was near you. “Jay I know that you’re busy. But,I really want to spend time with you.” You said sighing. You turned around to see Cole. “Oh sorry. I thought you were Jay.” You apologized. “You don’t have to apologize. Why are you crying? Did something happen?” He asked. “I’m not..” You began. Then you realized that you were crying a bit. “I just had a bad dream. That’s all.” “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked. “No. Thank you. Actually…how close are Jay and Nya?” “Well,they dated for a while. That was way before you joined the team.” “Oh? Do you think that they love each other still?” You asked. You wanted Jay to be happy. After all you love him to pieces. Even if it meant letting him go. “I think you need to tell him.” Cole said. “But,I don’t want to seem clingy though. I’ll think about it.” You replied.

Jay felt awful about missing the date. So,he was going to apologize. He wanted to give you breakfast in bed. “Good morning.” He said. “J-Jay what time is it?” You asked. “It’s almost ten in the morning Buttons.” “Oh? I didn’t sleep well last night.” You said rubbing your eyes. “I-I heard.” He said frowning. Jay saw you last night talking to Cole. The only thing he heard was that you couldn’t sleep. Jay remembered that Cole kinda liked you too. “(Y/n) I’m really sorry. Nya and I are..” Jay stopped. He didn’t want to tell you about your birthday gift. “I know.” “You do?! Oh no!” He yelled. No one knows about the gift. How did you find out? “Listen it’s okay if you still love Nya.” “What?! No! I don’t still like Nya. What makes you think that?” He pulled you into a tight hug. “But,you’ve been nonstop talking about her…” “You’re jealous? Buttons you don’t have to be. I love you sooo much! Besides I can be myself around you. When I was with Nya..I always pretended to be someone I wasn’t. You love me for me.” He said. “Jay I’m sorry for getting jealous.” You said. “It happens to everyone..” He said. It has happened to him before. You hugged him. “I love you so much.” You smiled. He made it up to you for missing the date. By bringing you to your favorite cafe.

Cole

Lately you’ve been acting weird. You had a terrible feeling in your chest. It happened when Cole was with Nya alone. You didn’t know why. You didn’t pay attention as Lloyd went on about some cool thing he did. You turned your head to see Cole and Nya talking. Even Jay was looking at them. “Are you listening?” Lloyd asked. “Huh? Oh yeah. You did the laundry and the dishes.” You said. “Uh no. I was talking about the last battle we had. Why are you acting so weird?” He asked. You didn’t answer. “Ha! The two of you are jealous!” Lloyd said. “Are not! Now be quiet before they hear us!” You and Jay said in unison. “Okay okay. But,you two are definitely jealous.” Lloyd said. “Lloyd stop!” You said frowning. Lloyd left the room. “What are you doing?” Cole asked. “Ah! Jay did you hear about that new movie?” You asked. “It looks so good. Ha ha.” Jay responded. “What are you two up to?” Nya asked. “Nothing.” Jay said frowning. “I-I think Pixel was calling me.” You said walking away. “Huh? Pixel isn’t even here.” Cole said frowning.

You and Jay were talking about how stupid it was. The two of you didn’t need to get jealous. “You’re with Nya.” You said. “You and Cole are a couple. So,I don’t understand why we’re jealous.” Jay said. “Yeah,I don’t get it.” You said smiling. The two of you thought that was a good idea to go talk to them. “Kai, have you seen Cole or Nya?” You asked. “Yeah. They went to the shopping district.” He replied. “What?!” You and Jay said in unison. “That’s creepy.” Kai said. “I know.” Lloyd said. You and Jay went to the shopping district. “I can’t see anything.Jay your big head is in the way.” You said. “They’re looking for a gift.” He said. You frowned upon getting caught. “What are you doing here?” Nya asked. “Uh…we wanted to look at the pens. Right Jay?” “Yeah I love pens.” He replied. “This is flower shop.” Cole said. “Oh right.” You said blushing.

Later that night you were pouting. Cole wanted to talk in private. “Babe why are acting weird?” He asked. You didn’t want to tell him. “I get it you’re jealous. Because I’ve been hanging around Nya a lot. You’re cute when you’re jealous.” He said. You pouted. “I am not.” You said blushing. “You are. But,I’m not mad at you for getting jealous. Next time though can you tell me. I don’t want you to feel like I don’t love you.” “Fine.” You said blushing. “That’s my love.” He said kissing your forehead.

Zane

Pixel seemed perfect for Zane. They had so much in common. That it caused you to have a really weird feeling. You didn’t understand what it was. But,you hated it. Kai asked if you’re okay. You didn’t answer. Pixel was very interested in Zane. She had questions about his functions and it got annoying. You were alone with Pixel. “Please leave Zane alone. I don’t think he likes it when you ask so many questions.” You said frowning. “But,Zane is unique. He has functions that I don’t understand. He’s is really special.”Pixel responded. You sighed. Yes Zane is special. He’s very kind to you. Even though you can be very rude sometimes. Zane has the patience to be with you. You never had anyone care for you like Zane does. Mostly because you had a hard time showing others kindness and love. Pixel is more polite than you are and doesn’t require patience. You wanted to be polite. Also you wanted to show Zane how much you love him. “I know. Zane is really..um something.” You said frowning. You really wanted to say amazing or incredible. But,you couldn’t.

You didn’t like the feeling of jealousy. It was eating you up inside. You were quiet too quiet. You didn’t even make a remark if Jay said something dumb. You just didn’t seem to care. Maybe it was the ninjdroids they’re causing trouble. They captured Lloyd. Maybe you were secretly worried about him. Zane took you aside. He wanted to be there for you. If you’re worried then he wanted to comfort you. “Darling? What is troubling you?” Zane asked politely. This was the first time he called you a cute name. “N-Nothing.” You said walking away. You could hear Pixel asking as to why you acted like that. The ninja didn’t know. But,Zane knew that you cared for him. You just didn’t show it that much.

You turned in for the night. Only to Zane’s dismay you didn’t have dinner. You also haven’t done your bedtime routine. Normally you would have something hot to drink like tea and Zane would make sure that you were relaxed. “May I come in?” He asked. “Sure.” You said trying not to seem upset. “I brought you something to eat.” “Um…thanks.” You said quietly. “What’s the matter? You haven’t been yourself.” Zane asked frowning. “Really? You don’t have to worry about me.” You said turning away from him. Maybe if you acted cold enough Zane wouldn’t worry about you. He sat next to you on the bed. “Is it about Lloyd? Because we’re close to finding him.” He asked. You are a little worried about him. You shook your head. “You don’t have to tell me. Just know that I’m here.” Zane said holding your hand. You turned your head and blushed. “It’s Pixel. I can’t stand her. She’s getting too close to you and she’s everything that I’m not. I’m not polite or caring.” You said frowning. “You are a lot of other things though. You just don’t see it. But,I do. You’re a diamond in the rough.” Zane said smiling. You did something that you don’t usually do. You hugged him.

Lloyd.

There was something odd about this Harumi girl. You couldn’t put a finger on it. You had a really weird feeling around her. Especially when she was talking with Lloyd. Kai and Nya tried to reassure you that you’re probably just shy. You’re really close with Kai and Nya. They took you in when they found you wounded and alone. Turns out you didn’t remember who you were before that day and you still don’t. Also you didn’t like talking about it. So,Kai and Nya didn’t tell anyone. You wanted to believe them. That you’re just shy. Only when you saw Lloyd and Harumi together in the city alone. You felt really sad and a bit angry. Lloyd looked really happy. You wanted to pull her away from him. But,you didn’t. Lloyd deserves to be happy. He had a rough life. However you wanted to be the one to be there for him. You stood there for a while before leaving.

Lloyd was the first notice that you weren’t quite yourself. Normally you would look at him from across the room. Just cute small glances. Also you would put notes of encouragement in his lunch box. But,he hasn’t gotten one in a while. What bothered him was that you wouldn’t even talk to him. This wasn’t you just being shy. This was something different. You were in a funk and he was going to try to get you out of it. You were in your room. Trying to rest. When you heard a knock on the door. You let him in. “Hey. I..uh brought you something to eat. Don’t worry I didn’t cook it.” He said. You shook your head. “Maybe later then.” He put the tray down on your nightstand. You didn’t look at him. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” You said still not looking at him. “It’s not nothing.” “But,I’m fine.” You said. Lloyd crossed his arms. “Is about Morro?” He asked a little worried. Morro wanted to take you away. He had a weird obsession over you and Lloyd had a weird feeling when Morro talked about you. Especially when he tried to give you flowers or stuffed animals. Lloyd got a little jealous and he didn’t know why. But,luckily him and his friends saved you. Before he could take you away. N-No.” You blushed.

“You don’t have to worry. I don’t think he’ll come back anytime soon.” Lloyd reassured you. He put a hand on your shoulder. You gently took his hand off your shoulder and he held your hand. Lloyd never got to ask you. Did you like it when Morro took care of you? Did you like him? He did get very close to you. But,it looked like you didn’t want to talk about it. To Lloyd’s dismay you let go of his hand and looked away. “Are you-” He began. Were you mad at him? “Just go back to Harumi. I think I heard her calling for you. Your relationship with her should come first.” You didn’t want to look at him. This made him worry. This wasn’t your shyness taking over. “What?! I’m not with Harumi! I don’t even like her.” Lloyd said frowning. “But,I saw you with her. You looked like you were blushing.” You said. “Ah! Well,she was teasing me.” Lloyd blushed. She asked him why he was talking about you so much. He even showed her your favorite sweet shop. “Oh? I’m sorry for misunderstanding.” “You don’t have to apologize.” He said. Lloyd was just glad to clear things up.

#cute #lloyd x reader #ninjago #fluff #zane x reader #cole x reader #jay x reader #kai x reader #head canon #HC

[fly-away-flynn]

Hi! I figured it was time to talk after a long time of being quiet. For a while I posted LoTF smut. I’m aware and I’m sure many of you are too! That’s fine. I can see the comments you make about me, you can @ me, it’s fine. However, I think talking about it and being completely transparent right now is the best thing I can do for myself and for other people.

My account was Co-Run by @ask-the-feral-boys. The other @ is @lord-of-the-reblog. He is my friend in real life. He got me into the fandom by forcing me onto Tumblr. I was completely content to stay on Archive of Our Own and post SFW content, actually. However, he normalized and told me the fandom was okay with smut. He created the account with me, and was given the password. It was stupid on my part. I do blame myself for that. I am a docile person. He made posts on my behalf calling the fandom “horrible” or “immature.” He made posts that I would never make. The one about camping, I live with my father and haven’t seen my mother in years. My parents are divorced, but it was things like that that he could lie about for me. I hate drama to be honest. I hate making this post. I have PTSD and anxiety because of things in my past and so I figured letting him have control would be helpful.

If you read the Fanfic that was posted under my name, it seemed inconsistent, I bet! Even my typing style is different now. There were two authors. He was one of them. It was one of very many awful things he did to ruin my life, but the fandom hating me is the better option than Mickey hating me Haha. I also didn’t know any better.

He clearly talked about me behind my back. Which was unclear to me until recently, I thought he was my friend because most of the time he told me he supported me on his blog and everyone who hated me hated me because they just didn’t understand what I was doing. The only chapter I solo posted was Chapter 1. That is why the writing gets so drastically stylized later on. It isn’t mine. I was an editor. I made the document, and he wrote it. But he didn’t want it attached to his name, so he had me publish it.

Mickey hated me because it made him look good. It made him look like the fandom hero to have a friend who was so morally wrong. He led me wrong and villianized me so that he could be the good guy, because he hates being the bad guy. He has made considerably more life ruining accusations against me that are lies, like that I tried to assault him (Which I never did. I have a girlfriend of 9 months and he was making the claims 3-4 months ago), or that I would force him to read what I wrote. I stopped writing because I lost joy in it. I don’t find joy in things that are wrong. I figured out it was wrong once people sent me hate mail, you get the message after a while. That is why my change was a suspicious 180. I was in the middle of change long before it went public. Getting Mickey out of my life was what was hard.

I don’t expect much from this. For what it’s worth, most of you think I’m an adult. I’m actually a minor. This is the surface of what is going on with me and Mickey, just this blog. He has been inactive because I stopped talking to him and our friends in real life isolated him for his behavior. I hope this explains some things. I hope you guys know that this was sort of forced out of me because you won’t stop talking about me. I would like to please be left alone now. Thank you.

#lotf

[inkstaindusk]

kohiiai swan lake au (not!fic)

I planned to post this before swan Kohaku scout ended and then I pulled him yesterday, which is as good a sign as any.

Here it is! At last! I do not remember when I first said I wanted to see Aira as Odette but I'm sure it's been a long time. If any of you remember that, I hope you're not disappointed!

Note: I say kohiiai but it's really mostly hiiai and kohaai, with hiikoha only being mentioned in the epilogue since it just works out that way. It's there, it exists, but it doesn't happen during the main plot

This is ~5k words, broken up into 4 acts + prologue and epilogue. I'll also add some minor notes in a reblog

--

prologue

The story doesn't start with Hiiro—it starts with Aira wandering into an empty wing of a certain place, where he comes across a boy alone who is very alarmed and confused by his presence. After some freaking out, they manage to calm down and Aira hangs out with him for a while until he realizes what time it is and he has to leave. Aira asks if they can stay in touch. The boy can’t help but say yes

act 1

Act 1 opens on Prince Hiiro going hunting after an unproductive conversation with his brother the king. Not that he would call any conversation with Rinne unproductive but he didn’t really understand the point of it (and Rinne would definitely call it unproductive, as once again Hiiro is completely missing what he means when he says “you’re allowed to want things and make choices please ask me to give you things such as a day off. do you want a day off? you’re getting a day off”). In any case, Hiiro now has a day off and is not sure what to do, so he’s making himself useful by heading into the forest to catch a nice dinner. Maybe it’ll help Rinne stop looking so tired.

(Their father died fairly recently, so Rinne has only just become king and is still struggling to get a handle on things.)

He catches sight of a swan and chases after it because swans are a rare delicacy, but he loses sight of it somewhere deep in the forest. He wanders around a bit trying to remember where he came from, long enough that the sun sets and he comes across a lake that he’s never seen before, so he’s pretty sure he’s lost. Also he never even caught anything. He’s in the middle of scolding himself when he hears a sound and, thinking it’s an animal, almost attacks the pretty boy watching him from behind a tree.

“What are you doing here?” asks Hiiro.

“What are you doing here?’ responds Aira, because obviously it’s Aira, though Hiiro doesn’t know that yet. “People don’t come this far into the forest.”

Hiiro explains that he was hunting and chased a swan too far and now he’s lost. Aira scoffs, rolls his eyes, but offers to show him the way out. Hiiro takes it. Aira calls him an idiot for accepting help so easily and Hiiro says, “Why shouldn’t I trust you?” and Aira calls him an idiot again but still shows him the way out. Hiiro notices that it somehow seems easier to leave, but thinks he’s just tired and doesn’t examine it any further.

As the forest starts to open up and become familiar again, Hiiro asks for his name, which Aira gives with some reluctance. Hiiro then asks again what he’s doing here and Aira dodges the question by basically going oh look there’s the exit now get out. Hiiro leaves it alone and it’s not until later that he realizes Aira didn’t come with him.

By the time he returns, it’s long past dinner and the palace is in an uproar and Rinne does not collapse in relief when someone informs him that Hiiro has returned but he sure does want to. Hiiro tells him he got a bit lost, which is concerning because they both grew up navigating that forest, but Rinne is more focused on the fact that he gave Hiiro a day off and Hiiro chose to spend it working.

Knowing that trying to have that conversation with him for a second time that day won’t amount to anything, he instead tells Hiiro that he’s decided to host a ball next month and he wants him to participate. Hiiro asks if he means as a guard and he tells him, no, you’re attending as my brother, the prince and I want you to talk to the other guests. Hiiro assumes he means he wants him to gather information or form a connection or something, Rinne doesn’t correct him.

act 2

Hiiro decides he should thank Aira for helping him, so he gets a little food basket together and tries to find that place again. He doesn’t, but he does find the swan, which flies away as soon as it spots him, but he’s not really invested in catching it anyway. He thinks, absurdly, that it’s kind of pretty, like Aira, and that makes him even more reluctant to chase after it.

Eventually though, the sun begins to set, and he really should start going back, but he decides to stay until just before sun down and miraculously, he finds the lake again. Aira is sitting lakeside, and this time he’s not alone, talking with the dark-haired man beside him.

“Aira!” Hiiro calls happily, startling both of them.

“What are you doing here?” Aira exclaims.

Hiiro explains that he wanted to see him and then asks who his friend is. It’s Mayoi, who greets him nervously but kindly. Aira asks why he wanted to see him. Hiiro says that he never properly thanked him and offers the food, which luckily is still good. Aira is baffled, but accepts it.

Mayoi, who up to now was trying to decide between staying to watch and running for trees (and still watching) says something about how Aira has made a friend.

“I did not!” Aira says, horrified, at the same time Hiiro says, hopefully, “This makes us friends?”

(Ok so the thing is, Hiiro was told all his life that he Cannot Make Friends as the second prince. He was kept away from most other kids, and those he did interact was always in a political context so he doesn’t really know what makes people friends. Aira isn’t nobility though so he thinks they can be friends??? maybe????)

“No,” Aira says quickly. Hiiro wilts. So does Mayoi. “Thanks for the food,” Aira tells Hiiro flatly and gets to his feet. “Don’t come back here.” He leaves and Mayoi is left with Hiiro, who is disappointed but willing to accept Aira’s rejection, although he would really have liked to be friends with him.

Mayoi kind of sways in place for a second, wanting to go after Aira but not wanting to leave a stranger alone, and then says, “Um, please don’t take offense.” He tells him that Aira was definitely happy to get the basket, he’s just awkward with friendship, but, um, if you really like him, please come again. It would be nice if he could make another friend. And then he takes off.

Hiiro is hesitant to tread on Aira’s wishes, but with Mayoi’s words, he decides to take the chance.

He visits again. Eventually, Aira starts to open up. His denials about being Hiiro’s friend start to lose both weight and conviction and they have actual conversations now. Hiiro likes Aira more with every visit. He also learns that there are a few others around too (don’t ask me who all is there idk, maybe branco? because swan tori, though i like to think they all turn into a variety of animals) and Hiiro has no idea what they’re all doing here but hey, if they want to hang out in a forest all night, who is he to judge? At any rate, he likes them. Aira is his favorite.

(unimportant but one scene I have in my mind is of Hiiro dozing off with his head in Aira’s lap one night and he’s half-asleep so he’s kind of aware but not really of what’s going on, but Aira’s fingers are in his hair and it feels really nice, and then he sort of hears Aira having a conversation with someone that basically amounts to them going, “hey, you like him and I think he likes you and I think this can all work out” and Aira going “I can’t.”

But Hiiro is still dozing so none of it really registers to him, and Aira wakes him up a little bit later because it’s late and he definitely needs to leave before everyone at the palace starts freaking out again)

Overall it’s a fun time, but Aira doesn’t completely accept him until one day Hiiro visits just before sunset and watches a swan at the lake swim to the shoreline and as the sun sets, the swan turns into Aira.

It’s revelation time - Hiiro makes himself known and Aira freaks but Hiiro is honestly pretty calm about it. He thinks it’s cool and interesting until he sees that Aira is actually upset about this. Aira starts to explain:

Once upon a time, he trespassed somewhere. When he was discovered, he was punished by being cursed into a swan. Others tried to help him and also got cursed for their trouble, until someone managed to find another witch/sorcerer/mage to reverse the curse. Unfortunately, they could only do so much—by day, everyone would be animals and only at night, in the forest and by the magic lake, could they turn back into human.

“The curse can’t be broken?” Hiiro asks, horrified and angry and already vowing to find whoever did this.

Aira laughs brokenly. “It can be,” he says, “but it’s impossible.”

“Why?”

“I have to fall in love with a stranger,” he answers. “They have to have never loved before, and they have to love me back, and we have to accept each other fully.”

“How is that impossible?” Aira is so very loveable in Hiiro’s eyes, and considering how he acts with the others, he knows Aira has a lot of love in him, too. What really seems impossible is that this curse wasn’t broken ages ago.

Aira looks away, then reveals, “I already love someone. Maybe we’ll never meet again like this, but I won’t ever stop loving him.”

Oh, Hiiro thinks. Of course, it’s this which makes him realize he loves Aira.

He doesn’t tell him. Aira kicks him out soon after, and Hiiro returns early to the palace in a daze. He loves Aira, but Aira loves someone else enough to stay a swan forever for him. He’s not sure what to do. He wants to help Aira, but he can’t.

Naturally, the next morning, he consults Rinne, saying I love someone but they love someone else, and also that person is in trouble and won’t let me help. Rinne is mentally screaming as he listens to all of this and exchanges a Look with Niki (who yes is there and married to Rinne but not technically king consort just because he doesn’t want to be, anyway not important).

The logical advice to give is to look for other ways to help and to respect the other person’s feelings. Unfortunately, Rinne is not logical, loves his brother to death, married the first person he ever fell in love with, and has only really been hoping to get him to make a friend but holy shit he’s in love?? He refuses to let this chance to go to waste, so instead he tells Hiiro to not give up and court them properly, be honest about his feelings, and also invite this person to the ball because he wants to meet them and convince them to love his brother back or god help me—

Anyway, Hiiro listens earnestly. Niki is like ffs Rinne but doesn’t fully shut down Rinne’s advice and says, “Maybe just invite them to the ball first and see how it goes.” Rinne grumbles but goes yeah ok fine I guess and Hiiro agrees.

He goes to the forest again that very night. Aira honestly didn’t expect to see him. It’s kind of awkward for him, but HIiro as always bowls right on over that. He tells him about the ball in just a few days and asks him to come. Aira is shocked and confused by this and asks why and what and why. Hiiro says that he really wants him there and it’s at night, so he should be safe and it would be nice to be able to spend time together somewhere different.

Aira doesn’t definitively say yes, but neither does he reject the invitation. He decides to stick to a maybe and, well, Hiiro will take it. He smiles broadly and says, “I really hope to see you there, Aira.” Aira blushes.

act 3

Hiiro’s visits have not gone unnoticed, and they don’t want Aira becoming human again.

Meanwhile, it’s time for the ball. Hiiro is used to attending these as Rinne’s second and as a guard, but not as a prince, so it’s a little weird. He makes small talk and handles himself decently enough. Some people are fine. Some are a little weird. He’s doing okay. Mostly, though, he watches the door, anxiously waiting to see if Aira will come walking in. (Rinne is also watching the door, wanting to see who his brother loves so much. Multiple people have to stop and hit him to get him to actually do his duties)

Later into the night, the door opens, and—it is Aira.

Or, it looks like Aira.

Hiiro is excited! Of course he is, it’s Aira! And he looks incredible and he’s smiling at Hiiro and sure, he hasn’t said much, but he knows Aira can be shy sometimes and he probably hasn’t been around so many strangers in a long time so he understands why he’d be a bit nervous. He’s more than happy to do most of the talking because! Aira!!

(Usually, his instincts would be telling him to be careful, that something is wrong. There’s a slight unease in him, yes, but today, it doesn’t scream immediate danger, and so he pays it little mind.)

One of the staff taps on his shoulder and tells him that someone wants to speak with him. “Aira” shoos him off and Hiiro, a little upset but trying not to be because that’s rude, goes to meet with whoever called him. He’s led to the garden, which isn’t exactly private, but private enough while also having enough background noise that meeting someone here isn’t suspicious.

“Oh, Tsukasa-kun!” Hiiro says, pleasantly surprised to see who’s waiting for him. Tsukasa is a prince from a small kingdom, a bit too distant to be a neighbor but not far enough that they’ve never met before.

Tsukasa looks a little off as he says, “How do you know Shiratori-kun?”

“Shiratori?”

“The boy you’ve been with all night! Shiratori Aira!”

Hiiro is not sure what he expected from this meeting, but it’s definitely not someone asking him about Aira. “You know Aira?” He didn’t know his last name was Shiratori. Was he turned into a swan because of his name?

“Sort of,” Tsukasa says, then, “Not really. We’ve never spoken, but I know—ugh, just, why do you know him?”

Hiiro is an honest guy, but he knows it’s not safe to talk about Aira’s situation. As much as he trusts Tsukasa, he cares about keeping Aira safe more. “We’re friends.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Hiiro frowns. “Why?”

Tsukasa looks conflicted and doesn’t answer immediately. Just when he’s about to say something, someone calls for him. He makes a frustrated sound, but can’t ignore the call so he quickly tells Hiiro to be careful before the call comes again, more insistent, and he runs off.

Hiiro returns to “Aira” confused, but keeps Tsukasa’s words in mind. He tells “Aira” that he was just saying his greetings to another prince and “Aira” doesn’t ask further. Hiiro tries not to let his unease show.

A little while later, Rinne calls for Hiiro and his companion to meet with him in a private room.

“So this is the one,” Rinne says, watching “Aira” closely.

Hiiro introduces them. “Aira” looks nervous, but greets him with an appropriate bow. Rinne then chooses not to waste any time and asks Hiiro if he’s decided what to do. (“Aira” tenses with this question, but it goes unnoticed) Hiiro says yes and is that okay, Nii-san? Rinne rolls his eyes and nods and tells him to get on with it.

Hiiro turns to “Aira” and gently, with all of the proper manners instilled in him from a young age, asks to court him.

“Aira” looks back at him, wide-eyed, shocked, and a little—fearful?

And then there’s a small bang on the nearby window and they all look in time to see the white feathers of a swan flying away. Hiiro gasps and “Aira” rips himself from him to rush to the window opened just a crack and he shouts, “Love-han!”

That is not Aira’s voice.

Hiiro is quick to grab a sword from the wall—mostly ornamental, but still very real—and point it at the impostor’s back. “Who are you?” he demands coldly.

(Rinne’s mind is working overtime to understand the current situation. Poor Rinne.)

The impostor doesn’t move for a second. He’s still staring out the window, tightly gripping the sill, and Hiiro has to repeat himself to get his attention. The impostor starts to lift his hands and Hiiro presses the sword closer to his back, but all he does is unclasp the necklace around his neck. Then his whole appearances changes, bleeding from Aira into a total, pink-haired stranger. He keeps his hands lifted in surrender as he turns around, at the same time tossing the necklace to the side.

(Huh, thinks Rinne. Well then.)

“Who are you?” Hiiro asks for a third time.

“My name is Oukawa Kohaku, but that’s not important.”

“I think it is.”

“Love—I mean, Aira-han just flew away! You know about the curse right?”

Hiiro scowls. “Yes.”

“And you love him, right?” (It’s painful to say these words, but from what Kohaku has seen tonight, Hiiro is more than good enough for Aira. This—he can accept this, just as long as Hiiro listens.)

“Of course!”

“Then you have to go after him! Right now! Before he dies!”

“What?” Hiiro is too good to drop the sword in his surprise, but he goes deathly pale. “What do you mean?” Kohaku doesn’t elaborate, physically cannot in fact, as his throat seals on him before he can, and Hiiro’s head is spinning in so many different directions yet always lands on Aira oh god Aira. “What do you mean?”

Rinne sets a hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t fully understand what’s happening, but he thinks he has a pretty good idea. “Hiiro, he can’t answer,” he says solemnly. “Isn’t that right?” He looks at Kohaku, who swallows thickly and closes his eyes, which is as good as a yes. Hiiro is shaking—with rage, with fear, with so many exhausting emotions.

There’s a knock on the door, and because I do need to insert Tatsumi in here somewhere, it’s Tatsumi, saying that Prince Eichi of [insert kingdom] wants to talk to them. Rinne says not now but Tatsumi says it’s urgent and then Eichi speaks up from behind him to say, “You want to know about Aira-kun, right? So let me in.”

They let him in. Tsukasa follows after him and Kohaku flinches when he sees him. They close the door behind them as Eichi greets them idly, not even looking like someone is currently being held at swordpoint in front of him. Tsukasa looks upset and glares a little at Hiiro, but doesn’t do anything.

Rinne demands to know what’s going on and what he knows. Eichi explains that basically, he recognized that the “Aira” who was going around with Hiiro wasn’t the real Aira and he intended to find a time to tell them, like Tsukasa, but both of them kept being held up. He then reveals that he and Aira are related (half-brothers or cousins, up to you, but either way he’s not “formally” recognized by the family and is basically a commoner) and that he was the one who found a way to lessen the affects of the original curse and he’s been searching for a way to break it fully ever since. Hopefully, he isn’t too late.

“Aira was here, wasn’t he?” he then says, looking directly at Kohaku, who nods. “Then you need to go now. We’ll be right behind you, but there are some things we need to take care of first.”

Somehow this works and Hiiro agrees to take Kohaku to the lake. Rinne says that he expects to meet the real Aira soon, and then sends them off through a secret passage with Tatsumi to escort and help if he can.

They leave, riding out with Hiiro and Kohaku on a horse together and Tatsumi following suit. Hiiro has made this route so many times that it’s all muscle memory to him. It gives him a little bit of time to think. Most of it is just about Aira, but some of it is thinking about the other boy with him.

“You know Aira,” he says over the rush of wind in their ears.

Kohaku’s grip tightens. “A long time ago. We were… friends.” His voice is wistful and full of longing. The pieces slot into place.

“You’re the one he loves,” Hiiro realizes.

Once upon a time, Aira travelled to a small kingdom, where he accidentally wandered into an isolated wing and met Kohaku. They became fast friends and agreed to stay in touch, but Aira did not know that Kohaku was never supposed to meet anyone, or exist in the first place. The next time he visited in person, their relationship was discovered. The king Tsukasa’s grandfather took offense to this, believing Aira and their relationship to be some sort of threat, and intended to have Kohaku cursed. Kohaku’s family negotiated viciously to keep their only son alive, and it ended up that Aira was cursed in his place.

(Kohaku was sent here tonight after the king discovered that Hiiro might break Aira’s curse. He thought making Kohaku seal his coffin would be the punishment he couldn’t give back then.)

“I don’t… Even if he loved me once, I’m the reason it’s ended up like this,” Kohaku says. “I doubt he feels anything but hatred for me now.”

Hiiro shakes his head. Remembers what Aira sounded like as he talked about the boy he would never stop loving. It ached, but even so, Aira looked beautiful in love. “No. He loves you.”

act 4

Mayoi meets them partway through the forest, having been intending to look for them himself if they never showed. Tatsumi briefly introduces himself when Mayoi looks at him wondering who he is, and then Mayoi greets Hiiro and to Kohaku says hello again. Instead of saying it back, Kohaku apologizes, but Mayoi shakes his head and says that none of this is his fault and that he knows he only ever wanted to love Aira.

As they walk, Hiiro takes the time to ask why Aira is dying, since that still hasn’t been explained to him.

Mayoi explains that there was another part of the curse: it would break if he loves someone and is loved back, but if that love was broken, the curse would turn back on him and kill him. He’ll live for as long as he remains human, but once the sun rises and he turns back into a swan, that’s it. He then says, “We found out just a little while ago that [Tsukasa’s grandfather] was disguised someone as Aira-san. He went to warn you that the ‘him’ at the ball was a fake, but… Well, he told us about what he saw. That’s not what really happened though, is it?”

Hiiro shakes his head emphatically. “No! I love Aira!”

Mayoi smiles sadly. “I thought so.”

(quick side note: Aira as a swan was not affected by the glamor magic on the necklace, due to being a magic swan himself—meaning that when he saw Hiiro confessing his love, he saw him confessing to Kohaku.)

They make it to the lake. Everyone is there and Aira is on the ground, half crying and half, well, dying. Hiiro and Kohaku both run to him, but then Hiiro stops, letting Kohaku go first.

Kohaku sinks to his knees next to Aira, takes his hand. They say Love-han and Kohakucchi and I’m sorry and I love you, I still love you, please, not this.

“You love me?” Aira murmurs.

“I love you,” Kohaku says.

Hiiro watches and is not upset. He can’tbe , because Aira is beautiful when he’s in love. He doesn’t know Kohaku, and distrusted him for obvious reasons, but not anymore, not when it’s clear he didn’t have a choice, and he doesn’t believe Aira would love anyone this much if he were a bad person. So, Hiiro is happy as long as Aira is still alive.

Except, he doesn’t seem to be getting better even in the arms of his love. He’s still pale and has to be held up by Kohaku, and every so often he shudders and squeezes his eyes shut like he’s in pain.

“Why isn’t he getting better?” Hiiro whispers. Aira’s love wasn’t betrayed; he should be getting better.

Kohaku murmurs something to Aira.

Aira looks up and asks why Hiiro is standing all the way over there. He tells him to come over here and Hiiro, helpless, does. He wants to take Aira’s hand, but doesn’t, thinking it’s not his place, except Aira and Kohaku make the choice for him. Kohaku lets go of Aira’s hand and Aira reaches for Hiiro.

“You love me, Hiro-kun?” Aira asks, having just been told that Kohaku was glamored to look like him.

“Yes,” Hiiro answers honestly, because he won’t lie about this.

In between shudders of the curse draining the life from him, Aira says, “I’ve loved Kohakucchi for years, and I never thought I would stop. I haven’t. But I… I was happy when you kept coming back to see me, even though you didn’t know me. I liked talking to you. You’re really weird and can be a huge idiot sometimes, but you’re kind and fun to be with and you wanted to be my friend just because I helped you out. And, tonight, if that had really been me at the ball who you asked to court…” He shudders, closes his eyes, grips Hiiro tightly. “If you had asked, I think I would have said yes.”

Hiiro gasps, caught somewhere between elation and disbelief. “You would?” Aira nods. “But…” He looks at Kohaku, who’s been watching from right next to them, unsurprised.

“Love-han can love whoever he wants,” Kohaku says. “I just want him to be happy.”

“I do too,” Hiiro agrees slowly.

Aira groans. “I love both of you, you idiots. If either of you has a problem with that, say it now.” He glares at both of them, which is a bit of a feat considering how terrible he looks at the moment.

But Hiiro has no problems with it. Neither does Kohaku. They both love Aira, and they both wouldn’t mind getting to know the other now that they’re at this point. Even if it doesn’t turn into love between each other (spoilers: it will) they would be okay with it.

Aira is still dying though. The curse has already started working against him, and while Tatsumi has some magic to ease the pain, he doesn’t know anything about curses. Although they’ve confirmed their feelings, it’s too late. All anyone can do is make him comfortable.

Of course, this is when another entourage comes in—that being Rinne, Tsukasa, Eichi and some others. Eichi is solemn as he approaches them. Aira calls out to him, surprised, and Eichi responds gently, sending him a smile, before beckoning someone from the group to approach.

It’s Natsume. In fact, it was Natsume’s mother who helped Aira before and it weighed on them that she wasn’t able to do much. He still can’t break the curse, but like his mother, he can rework it so Aira won’t die tonight. That’s good enough for them, so Natsume gets to work.

What ends up happening is that, when he reworks the curse, it’s immediately broken. After all, Aira is loved, and he loves them back.

epilogue

Tsukasa’s grandfather faces consequences of course. By dying. Was it illness? Was it assassination? If anyone knows, they’re not telling. Tsukasa’s parents, the new king and queen, are… working on fixing things. At some point both the Suous and the Oukawas have to apologize to Aira and everyone else who got cursed and it’s all very awkward, especially for the Oukawas who deliberately sacrificed Aira to keep Kohaku safe but also, like, Aira sort of did it willingly because he certainly didn’t want Kohaku to be a swan for eternity. Still. It’s not a fun time.

Everyone who was cursed either gets to return to their original lives or they get new jobs. Either way, they all stay in touch. Mayoi of course gets employed in the palace so he can stay with Aira and Hiiro (and thus alkaloid is formed).

Eichi still cannot formally recognize Aira as his family, so as far as anyone else is aware, he and the Amagis just randomly started doing business with each other. Aira still thinks of himself more as a commoner than of royal blood, so their relationship is also a little stilted, but the affection is there.

And what about the actual main characters?

Well, Aira reunites with his parents. They weren’t all that close originally, but they still love each other so it’s a tearful reunion all the same. He lives with them for a little while, but with his relationship with Hiiro, he eventually moves into the palace.

Rinne approves of him and basically adopts him on the spot. They surprisingly have a lot in common, but Aira still finds him weird and unsettling and honestly kind of scary sometimes and it’s only partly because he’s The Literal King. He also adopts Kohaku while he’s at it during the brief period of time before he has to go back to his family.

Speaking of which, it takes literal months of negotiation to get Tsukasa and the Oukawas to allow Kohaku to return. They eventually agree to short, careful, supervised visits. After the first few go extremely well, Rinne and Aira begin to anticipate the long negotiations to eventually allow Kohaku to get married and stay permanently. Hiiro and Kohaku are a little slower on the uptake, but they figure out they’re in love eventually.

And they all lived happily ever after. The End

#enstars #aira shiratori #hiiro amagi #kohaku oukawa #kohiiai #hiiai #kohaai #ensemble stars #shiratori aira #amagi hiiro #oukawa kohaku #enstars lb #notfic #ideas

[theblackdog-taylorsversion]

dear alex,

if someone decided to tell me, in november last year, that i would find a love such as you, i would’ve called them insane.

and if they’d told me, on december third, that we’d still be standing so strong this much later? i’d have laughed in their face.

it was never, of course, that i didn’t think you would be as wonderful a partner as you have been. i just never imagined it being directed at me.

but then again, you’ve well outgrown anything i could’ve imagined in my life, let alone expected.

can i tell you what i see, when i look at you?

i don’t see you. well, i do, of course, but i don’t see “just you”. i see a future, i see a past. i see my closest ally and my dearest friend and my darling and my dear boy and my love and my everything.

i see the first days of our friendship, i see fanfiction rambles and hamilton references. i see long hours in musical rehearsals, watching you dance. i could have watched you dance forever.. i see that night on friday the first, sitting on the roof of the playground, watching the sunset. i see myself, sitting on my bed, panicked, texting my friend, just waiting for any response. i see the number 794 flashing in my head like a reminder of the words that got us here. i see that first date, when you held my hand in the movie theatre and leaned on my shoulder. i see that day in january at our friends house, kissing you on the stairs. i see your birthday with all our friends, and the tumblr post that night. today was a fairytale. i’m glad.

i see a tiny shoebox apartment, stretching out our paycheques to pay the rent so we can finish uni, curling up together late at night on a dodgy second-hand couch with our crappy tv. i see your first novel being published, i see our careers hitting a high and we move into our dream house out of the city, i see us adopting pets and fostering kids and i see the white picket fence life. i see date night every weekend and our birthday gifts getting more and more extravagant, i see us making dinner together and showing our kids the kind of love they’ll deserve to find.

i see you on our wedding day, looking handsome, in some suit you picked out yourself. i see bella and edith and ella and everyone else who’s backed us up there to support us, to watch us start the rest of our lives. the day we give a grand big “fuck you” to everyone who said we couldn’t, and the day we show our friends that “you and me? it’s a forever kind of thing.”

and i see the bad bits, too. i see the fights, and the tears, and all the nights we have to spend apart. i see christmas holidays stretching out ahead of us and trying to tread lightly until we’re safe away from our parents. i see a lot of bad things.

but what would the good things be, if we hadn’t had to work for them?

my darling; my future, my past, my world, they all belong to you. they are yours, fully and wholeheartedly. you healed my heart, you glued back together the little cracks, though you were never the one to break it. and for all the love i’ve found in you, i’ll be forever grateful, baby

so. as you put it a month ago, "here's to forever."

yours forever, akeyla.

P.S: you might have noticed that there've been very few songs dedicated since your birthday. that's because i've been saving the ideas for today. under the cut, my love.

one song for every day of our relationship:

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ And the voices that implore, "You should be h=doing more" To you, I can admit that I’m just too soft for all of it ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made And you'll say, "Oh my, we really were timeless" ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ So the balls in your court, if I'm something you adore and you wanna see me more, I'd be okay with that ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Gonna hold you, gonna kiss you in my arms Gonna take you away from harm ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I wanna be your vacuum cleaner, I'll breathe in the dust I wanna be your ford cortina, I won't ever rust ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Pinky promise, I'll still love your garden Even with no flowers, even with no flowers ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ tired of loving from afar, and never being where you are close the windows, lock the doors, don't wanna leave you anymore ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Look into my eyes, You will see What you mean to me ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ If I could grant you peace of mind If you could let me inside your heart Oh, let me be a part of the narrative In the story, they will write someday Let this moment be the first chapter Where you decide to stay ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ If I had to choose her or the sun, I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Well it's all an adventure that comes with a breathtaking view Walking a tightrope with you, ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Cause all of the small things that you do Are what remind me why I fell for you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do Hey, baby, I think I wanna marry you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ In case you didn't know, baby I'm crazy about you I would be lying if I said I could live this life without you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ They don't got a word for what you mean to me, I'll put in the work for every little thing ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ You know I'd fall apart without you Don't know how you do what you do Cause everything that don't make sense about me Makes sense when I'm with you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I wanna be alone Alone with you, does that make sense? ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ It's your show, And I'm just watching Losing you ain't an option ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me Every day I will remind you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ It's so excruciating to see you low Just wanna lift you up and not let you go ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I was standing You were there Two worlds collided And they can never, ever tear us apart ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ One love, two mouths One love, one house No shirt, no blouse Just us, we find out ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Lonely water, lonely water won't you Let us wander, let us hold each other ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ You're all I want, so much it's hurting ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I'm holding you closer than most, Cause you are my heaven ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Andante, andante, tread lightly on my ground Andante, andante, oh please, don't let me down ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ The part of you that's part of me, Will never die, will never leave, And it's nobody else's but mine ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ A love like that makes a man have second thoughts, Maybe some things last forever after all ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Hash brown, egg yolk, I will always love you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ And oh, oh, oh, oh, if you can't bear the winter cold My heart will be a home for you right here ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ But when you poured out your heart, I didn't waste it There's nothing like your love to get me high ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ The house don't fall, When the bones are good ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Darling, he can't buy my love It's you I'm dreaming of ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ You're ripped at every edge, But you're a masterpiece ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ And it's worth it It's divine I have this some of the time ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Soul mate, soul mate, soul mate Won't you dance here with me while it grows late? Put your head on my chest, that's your safe place We'll fall deeper in love every day ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ And who was I to say That this was meant to be? The road that was broken Brought us together ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Cause I wanna be yours Don't you wanna be mine? I don't wanna get lost in the dark of the night ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ All of my friends think I've gone crazy But they don't know me like my baby ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Don't wanna hand you all my trouble Don't wanna give you all my demons You'll have to watch me struggle From several rooms away But tonight I'll need you to stay ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I still remember that day When I first saw you and you looked at me And I dreamt right there that we Would someday fly away ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ When you hold me, I see the end of a movie Everyone thinks that we're crazy And maybe we are ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Hate to admit but it might be true Hate to admit but I think you knew Hate to be lame but I might love you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Isn't it just so pretty to think, All along there was some invisible string Tying you to me ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I wanna cut off my hair and kick off my boots Dance in the wind just to do it again, oh, it's true But only if it's with you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Don't take these beautiful things that I've got Please stay, I want you, I need you, oh god ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Though the sea will be strong I know we'll carry on ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ So give your all to me, I'll give my all to you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Walk on with your burden I will walk with you When your heart stills in your chest When your tongue is poetry ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ You say I'm pretty and I don't believe you But you reassure me when I think it's not true It's definite You and me are made to be more than friends ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I'm sorry if I say i need you But I don't care, I'm not scared of love Cause when I'm not with you, I'm weaker Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong that you make me strong? ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait, I'm yours ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ We've got the summer And we've got each other And perhaps even longer? ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ But I've got no plans at all to leave And would you take away my hopes and dreams? And just stay with me, ooh ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I'm a fool for you And the things you do ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Kiss me once cause you know I had a long night Kiss me twice cause it's gonna be alright Three times cause I've waited my whole life ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Baby we should say it all, say it all There's beauty in these broken walls, broken walls And holding back is criminal, criminal So maybe we should say it all, say it all ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I don't care what people say when we're together You know I wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep I just want it to be you and I forever ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Well I was told to put my job in front of you But it wont hold me like you do ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ "Hold onto the end" that's what I intend to do I'm hopelessly devoted to you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ So cover me up, And know you're enough To use me for good ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Can you read my mind? It could be a lonely world I want forever times forever ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ If you leave me, Oh, I think that I just might lose it completely ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I just wanna love on you To hell with the rest We ain't gotta leave this bed ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I feel safe when you're holding me near Love the way that you conquer your fear You know hearts don't break around here ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Hit me like a ray of sun Burning through my darkest nights You're the only one that I want Think I'm addicted to your light ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Darling, I'm always there I know it's been hard for my baby this year When your heart breaks, mines breaking too 'Cause I loved you then and I love you still ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ You sunshine, you temptress My hands at risk, I fold ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ If I'm being honest, when you look at me It's like kissin' a million angels ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I've waited a hundred years But I'd wait a million more for you Nothing prepared me for What the privilege of being yours would do ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I know heaven's a thing I go there when you touch me Honey hell is when I fight with you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you And all the things you do ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Right now I know how it feels like the world's gonna end But I'll get you through If it's the last thing I do ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a starlit night And all your gorgeous colours I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I never grew up, it's getting so old Help me hold on to you I've been the archer, I've been the prey Who could ever leave me darling? But who could stay? You could stay. ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ And when she doesn't notice How pretty she is Tell her over and over So she never forgets ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Baby, give it all I'd give it all just to make you mine And if you need a minute Honey, I'll give you all my time, all the time ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ You think I'm pretty without any makeup on You think I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong I know you get me, so I'll let my walls come down ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Love 'til it hurts, 'til my heart aches The light in my world on my dark days ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ There's things I wanna say to you But I'll just let you live Like if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ You've been my muse for a long time You get me through every dark night ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Cause if I didn't have you I wouldn't have nothing at all ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ 'Cause I got issues, but you got 'em too So give 'em all to me, and I'll give mine to you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ I don't care how long it takes As long as I'm with you, I've got a smile on my face ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Common sense said don't go the extra mile Common sense said go back and reconcile But common sense forgot about her smile ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ So this is how it feels To fall in love with you To always think of you To always dream of you ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Love is a risk But what's the alternative? When the planet keeps spinning around I'd be somewhere missing out ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ Oh I've loved you three [months] now honey, And I want them all Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close, for ever and ever? ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥ ♡ I still remember, the third of december, me in your sweater ♡ ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

#alex my love❤️

[penny-hartzs]

this is going to be long. i saw ur post about j0sh/rachel and the whole wild “grooming” allegations and i have to say it comes 100% from people shipping rachel with tom and wanting to feel validated by finding a reason to “dislike” her current partner. and we need to have a conversation with twitter’s obsession w white boy x biracial or woc real life shipping.

tom is their white boy of the month. also, if josh was white and a blue eyed conventionally attractive man you’ll see the allegations wouldn’t even exist cuz they would have not problem w the couple. might u, tom is also the same age as josh. i find a bit of racist too but i won’t go there. them just not considering josh attractive enough to be w her so she should be w her white attractive co-star instead.

i’ve been following rachel since 2019 when she was announced as maria in wss because i am a musical girlie and she’s been friends w josh ever since then. 3 years of friendship and 2 years of relationship. rachel is a very friendly. you can tell she befriends people very quickly and isn’t shy about showing that love to friends. the same thing she does w tom now she’s been very vocal to her other friends she holds dear as well. her legit best friend for ages is a man.

those people suddenly being so concerned for rachel want josh to be a ped0 so badly to the point of exaggerating the whole situation. and doing that just shows they want ppl to deliberately hate on josh and ship her w tom. it doesn’t come from a genuine concern. out of all the post i’ve seen wanting to claim she was “gr0omed” they want to make it seem like they started dating during wss when they started dating two years later (late 2021). and i was there to see their friendship to relationship turning point. rachel was 20. both were consenting adults. and josh was also 24/25 not “almost 30” like some say to exaggerate the situation. they have exactly a 5 year age difference. (both born in may).

i feel like so many people see age differences and scream so bad because 21 being the drinking age in the us has twisted their minds. they want to paint rachel as a little girl that had not agency about the relationship she gets in. as if she and her family haven’t been close to him for 3 years prior. i even saw someone say “hope rachel has a good influence in her life that can advice her” girl u dont know those people. why are u making some wild allegations like this. allegations that can ruin someone’s career and entire image. they have been in what it seems to be a really good relationship for 2 years now. rachel’s family is very close with him. and they are very private despite being “public”. they seem to share when it’s needed but keep the relationship mostly to themselves. josh isn’t very active on social media and frankly, i feel like since he is starting his movie career he doesn’t want to be known as “rachel’s bf” cuz people are already calling him nepo bf and that he gets roles only cuz of rachel and he is really talented. and the whole “he doesn’t even support her publicly like tom”. first, tom replied to a post made on his own account about his current co-star. and josh not only isn’t that active on social media but he doesn’t have enough star power yet. they also seem to have two different love languages. rachel is very vocal/physical. he seems more chill. the most important thing is that he was the person with rachel when she was getting mass hated and the fact she even has to clarify (in her 2023 appreciation post) that her bf was there for her is wild cuz people are too chronically online these days and measure love with public postings. and most people didn’t know she was in a relationship until the tgh press tour lmao.

another wild thing i saw from people is saying “they’re in different life stages and that’s weird” well, not really. they’re both in their 20s and embarking in acting together. they both got their first acting job in wss. they’re on the same train and live a life very different from ours.

i get people feeling weird over the fact she was 17 turning 18 when she met him and he was 23. but that doesn’t necessarily meant she was gro0med. not every age different comes from an abusive environment and it’s really weird. and i literally have met people that have been friends for a while and naturally felt in love and have been together for ages. like let’s find ourselves an honest concern to yell about truly.

Thank you for taking the time to write this, you gave me some new perspective on Rachel and Josh's relationship I didn't have and also thanks for sharing your opinion with me!

People on twitter and tiktok shipping women with their male costars is certainly not a new phenomenon but I've been seeing it grow insanely popular these last few years: from Halle Bailey and Jonah Hauer-King, India Amarteifio and Corey Mylchreest, Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya, Rachel Zegler and Tom Blyth and so on and so on. It doesn't matter that most of these people were/are in relationships with others (and are pretty vocal about it), we're still going to see fancams of the co-stars posing on the red carpet together (with a romantic song as the musical background) and tweets about their 'natural chemistry' are going to go viral again and again.

I think it's absolutely fair to talk about racism when stans are rooting for a woman of color to break up with her boyfriend (also a man of color) and get with her white co-star, but the thing is, most of them know it's wrong, so they come up with other reasons to justify the hate towards their fave's partner: Halle Bailey's boyfriend makes it easy for them, but Josh and Rachel seem to keep fairly to themselves so they had to dig deeper. So on the one hand, I think the weird allegations Josh is receiving right now are based on the simple (and idiotic) fact that people want Rachel to be with Tom. On the other hand it opens up a huge topic of conversation about age gaps in couples, and especially in Hollywood. I personally believe that five years apart is a perfectly appropriate age gap between a couple and I have no idea how Rachel and Josh are supposed to be in 'different stages of their life', since they are both upcoming actors, starred in the same successful movie and are in their early and mid twenties. I dont understand why it's even an issue for anyone and tbh I find it disheartening that Rachel has such lovely things to say about him and seems to genuinely love him very much only for her fans to call him a groomer and wish for them to break up. Grooming someone is a serious, dangerous thing and if online users keep using those words for situations like Rachel and Josh, they'll end up losing all meaning. Lastly, I know social media is a huge part of our lives, but I still find it completely stupid to judge anyone's relationship on their instagram and twitter activity. Have we learned nothing from those men who post their wives on their main page while simultaneously sending dick pics to models?

Let's end it with a pic of them, because they're cute and it's almost christmas

#rachel zegler #i probably had more to say but my brain is mush #josh andres rivera

[sliceofajayke]

The Bet pt. 5

“Uber for y/f/n Nishimura” Heeseung smiled, rolling down his window “hey, thats me” she smiled, opening the door and putting on her seatbelt “you look pretty” she raid a brow “i’m wearing sweats”

“And you make them look so good” he rested his hand on her thigh, “you should put your hair up,” she rolled her eyes but pulled down the visor so she could do so “better Lee?” he quickly glanced over to her “much, now we’re matching” she chuckled “what’d your parents say, by the way?” she shrugged “covered it up with my hair, told ‘em the same thing i told Riki, mum backed me up in front of my dad and brothers, but later gave me the sex talk” 

Heeseung laughed “hey..” he squeezed her thigh lightly “s’okay, my dad lectured me too” she pursed her lips then pulled out her phone, opening the camera app, looking at herself and making faces, “what are you doing?” Heeseung asked “tryna take a cute picture”

 “you always look cute” he replied, stopping at a red light, y/n rolled her eyes, then an idea popped in her head. care fully, she leaned up to stand her phone up on the dash, she leaned her head on Heeseung’s shoulder as he smiled, continuing the drive “dawe, see cute picture, after parking the car, he looked down at her phone “you should post that” 

“you should post it” she fired back “oh wait..” she had a slightly confused face, just as Heeseung took a selfie with her “hey!”

 “i’ll post this one instead,” she pouted, then Heeseung snuck another picture, “stop!” she laughed, covering her face “you’re so cutee” Heeseung said in a sing song voice, snapping picture after picture. “Wow, my feeds gonna look great” he said after getting out and opening y/ns door for her “fine, you post those i’m posting this one.” he wrapped an arm around her, then kissed her forehead. “I’m gonna go talk to the boys real quick yeah?” she nodded, putting her locker code in.

“Hey Heeseung..” all the boys smirked, looking at the hickey y/n had left “so did you..-” Heeseung shook his head 

“they haven’t paid you in a while, when's the last time you went on a date?” Heeseung’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink “few days ago, been letting them recharge for a bit” he replied, putting on a ‘i don’t care’ face in front of the boys “nd you let her give you..” he shrugged “so?” he turned his attention back to y/n who just finished with her locker, “see you ‘roud guys” Heeseung mumbled, before jogging off to y/n.

At lunch, Sunghoon pointed out her hickeys in disgust “the hell are those?” Heeseung smirked “what’d they look like” Sunghoon shook his head 

“you guys have barely been dating for two months and you already gave it up to him y/n,” he scoffed, “i don’t know what happened to you, but you’re making a big mistake, you know how he is with girls, he’ll do the same to you” her eyes casted down to her hands on her lap, she wanted to defend him, and to defend herself, 

but he was right, she knew exactly how Heeseung had treated girls in the past, but she’s different right? She has to be. “y/n..” Heeseung whispered, carefully taking her hand into his own and leading her to get up so they could talk in private. 

“Hey…” Heeseung lifted her head and saw a sight that broke his heart; she had tears running down her cheeks and her bottom  lip  trembling  “hey, sweetheart” he wrapped his arms around her tightly as she sobbed into his shirt. 

When she was slightly calmed down, Heeseung sat them down on the ground, taking both her hands in his, “look, what Sunghoon said..i” he sighed “i know, that you know how i am--how i was, but you.. You’re different y/n Nishimura, you’re.. You’re you, and I want to change for you” he bit his lip then continued “and you and i know that we didn’t do it, and i’ll.. I can… i can wait until you’re ready for that, i’ll wait forever, hell we don’t even need to if you aren’t ready” Heeseung was holding back tears himself 

“I’m ready to change for you” 

I’m ready to call off the bet, because I love you. 

“I..” she couldn’t speak so instead, she pulled him closer and they sat like that until they heard the warning bell “we should go..” he nodded, lifting the both of them up. “I’ll pick you up from class later okay?” Heeseung wiped away the remaining tears, cupping her cheeks, she nodded, leaning into his touch, brushing her lips against his fingers, 

“I’ll see you later” she mumbled, standing on her tiptoes to place a small lingering kiss on his lips, after pulling away, she made her way to class, every now and then, looking back at the boy who now had a growing smile upon his lips. 

Heeseung finally walked into class, the smile on his face was the biggest both Jay and Jake has ever seen in a while 

“haven’t seen you smile this big since we were kids and y/n said she would be your first girlfriend” Heeseung blushed and lowered his voice “i wanna call off the bet” Jake and Jay frowned “but you just started the second mon-” 

Heeseung shook his head “hear me out, i wanna call it off because i…” he sighed happily “i think i’m falling for her all over again..” Jay and Jake smiled widely “hell yeah man!”

#enhypen #enhypen heeseung #enhypen x reader #enhypen x y/n #enhypen x you #enhypen heeseung x you #enhypen heeseung x y/n #enhypen heeseung x reader #heeseung x yn #lee heeseung x you #heeseung x you #enhypen lee heeseung x y/n #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen fic #enhypen ni ki