#and it’s a little angsty bc it’s Javi

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 18: Hole in None

Summary: During your bridal shower, Steve takes Javi golfing. When they return, the way Javi is acting has you questioning everything you knew about your relationship.

Word Count: 12.1K (getting back to my roots of a short chapter LMAO)

Warnings: SMUT(18+) unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), oral (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink (if you squint?), makeup sex and getting caught (The Murphy's will never catch a break) ANGST (I'm so sorry!!), Hurt/comfort, Javi being super insecure, you being confused as hell, Steve being an absolute idiot

A/N: HELLO. IT'S ME! I DO EXSIST! I am genuinely SO sorry that this chapter has taken a million years to happen. December has been so busy and I have had no time to write, so I really, really appreciate all of your patience 🥺 This is a lil different than any other chapter we've had so far in the NTL universe, it's a lil angsty-er than normal but ya girl only believes in happy endings so don't fret!!! Also poorly beta'd bc I have the stomach flu and I am 100% there are mistakes in this chapter that I'm sure I missed 🫠

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“Do I really have to do this? This thing hasn’t even started yet and I’m already exhausted.” 

“Yes, Hermosa, I do think that most people do expect the bride to be at her own bridal shower.” Javi laughed, staring into the bathroom mirror as he ran his hands through the dark curls of his hair, fixing them into place as you stood next to him, finishing the rest of your longer than usual makeup routine to prepare for being the center of attention against your will for the next several hours. 

It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful that your co-workers wanted to throw you a bridal shower before your wedding, now only a few weeks away- the sentiment of the whole thing was incredibly thoughtful. Your 3rd grade teammates had even found a way to get in touch with your family to make sure that your mom, aunts and cousins felt included in the event, too. You should have been thrilled about the fact that the people who loved you most in the world were coming together to celebrate your upcoming wedding and quite literally showering you with gifts, but if there was one thing you hated more than anything else, it was the social exhaustion that came from having a party planned for no one but you. 

You had really tried to convince Maria, Estelle, Linda, and now, your mom that you didn’t need a bridal shower- your wedding was going to be small, and since you had already been living on your own, there weren’t a lot of things you needed as you started married life together. Unfortunately, neither of those arguments were going to stop those ladies from going all out for you, leaving you feeling like your bridal shower was turning out to be even bigger than your actual wedding. 

“Don’t you think I could just get a cardboard cutout of myself and use that instead? All these ladies love to talk so much that I don’t think they would even know the difference.” You sighed, giving yourself a once over in the mirror before putting away the rest of your makeup as Javi snuck behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, planting a soft kiss into your shoulder as he pressed his chest against your back. 

“I have a feeling that someone would notice.” Javi chuckled, a soft grin spreading across his face as your eyes met in the mirror, his smile and sweet eyes enough to calm your nerves for at least a moment. “I would definitely notice.” 

“Well that’s easy for you to say, you don’t even have to be there.” You huffed, letting a little pout fall from your lips as Javi playfully shook you in his grasp, trying your best not to smile as you tried to keep up your unenthused facade. “It’s not too late to trade. You can go to the bridal shower and I can go golfing with you and Steve.” 

Even though Javi had insisted he was more than happy to stay at the shower with you, Maria had insisted that Javi find another way to spend his time so the spotlight of the day could be on you, and not him being distractingly handsome to everyone else there. Lucky for Javi, that meant extra time to spend with Steve while Connie was at your shower- not so lucky for you that Maria had banished your future husband from attending an event for your own wedding. 

“I honestly may have to take you up on that. Steve must have needed an ego boost when I let him pick what he wanted to do while you and Connie were at the shower because he knows I can’t golf for shit.” Javi’s overdramatic sigh and roll of his eyes was enough to make you break into a little giggle, turning your head enough to press a quick kiss onto his cheek before reaching your hand under his chin, giving his jaw a little jiggle. “It’ll go by fast, Osita, I promise. And then, when we get home,” he paused, pressing another kiss into your shoulder and up towards your neck, digging his fingers a little tighter into your sides as he rasped into your ear, “I’ll take as much time as you want to destress you.” 

“As much time as I want? Bold of you to assume that the dog is gonna give us that long.” You snickered as a happy Bear trotted into your bathroom right on cue, his tail loudly thumping against the bathroom cabinets from his happy wags as he wedged himself between you and Javi. 

The newest furry member of your household had been a well loved addition, but if there was one thing Bear had no concept of, it was privacy. Your dog had become a constant shadow to you and Javi anywhere and everywhere in your house, including your in your bedroom, even when you were, well, not sleeping. It hadn’t helped that Javi had already formed such a soft spot for Bear, and had let him on your bed from the moment he stepped foot into the apartment, and now, your dog and his clingy personality had become a new obstacle to try and navigate in your sex life. 

“Someone needs to tell his dad that he’ll survive if he gets left out of the bedroom for a half hour, huh? That he’s adorable, but that he can be a little cockblock, can’t he?” Squatting down next to Bear, you wrapped your hands around his face, scratching behind his ears as you mockingly serenaded him, raising an eyebrow at Javi. 

“He just sounds so sad when he whines and he’s trapped outside the door.” Javi grumbled, kneeling down to join you, patting Bear’s stomach, now much thicker and fuller than it was a few weeks ago after you had first brought him home, skinny and neglected from his lack of care from his previous owners. 

“You say trapped like we're kicking him out to the streets when we close the door on him. He’s adorable and sweet, but he’s a dog, Jav, he’ll be okay.” You smirked, playfully scolding Javi as you peppered Bear’s head with kisses, making his tail thump even harder as it wagged back and forth. “Tell your dad you’ll be just fine, won’t you?” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Javi groaned, knowing damn well you were right, even though he couldn’t bring himself to admit he had become an absolute softie for your new dog. “Alright, Hermosa, we gotta get you to this shower before Maria yells at me for making you late.” Pushing his hands against his knees, Javi let out a little grunt as he pushed himself back up to stand, checking the time on the silver watch wrapped around his wrist. 

“Wow, so eager to get rid of me, you must really be excited to go get your ass kicked in golf.” You teased, now following suit and straightening out your dress as you stood, throwing your arms around Javi’s neck, pressing up on your tiptoes to plant a little kiss on his lips. “Sure you don’t want me to golf for you?” 

“I’m sure, you dork.” 

After Javi had insisted on giving Bear more than his fair share of treats before the two of you left for the day, you were on the road to Maria’s, Javi insisting that he drop you off, instead of letting you take the treacherous 2 minute drive by yourself. As you drove down Maria’s street, you couldn’t help but smile at the memory of walking up to her house for an end of the school year party almost exactly a year ago. A party that had ultimately turned a handsome stranger from the Laredo Sheriff's department into your future husband, now sitting in the driver’s seat on the way to your bridal shower. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself at the irony, leaning your head over onto Javi’s broad shoulder as you pulled up to Maria’s house. 

“What’s up, Osita?” Javi asked, a twinge of confusion in his voice at the content and calm of your demeanor as the two of you arrived at the event that you had been seemingly dreading for days. 

“I just- It was probably a year ago to the day the last time that we were at Maria’s house. Crazy to think that a year later we’re getting married and here for my bridal shower. I don’t know, a year ago I never would have thought I would have met someone I love so much, let alone be getting married, building a house, owning a dog, I- I’m just really happy that the department made you come to do that stupid presentation. You’ve made this year the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, Jav.” 

A tender silence hung in the air as Javi leaned over the center console, gently bringing his palm to cup the side of your face, his thumb tracing circles along your cheek, letting his sweet brown eyes lock with yours as a soft smile spread across his face. “I love you too, Osita.” His words barely left his mouth above a whisper, bringing his lips to yours. The two of you could have stayed like this forever, lost in the moment of your love for each other, but unfortunately, the world had other plans. 

“JAVIER. DIOS MIO. CAN YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER FOR 3 SECONDS?” Maria shouted, banging at the driver’s side window, the aggressive thumps of her hand against the glass making the two of you practically jump out of your skin. 

“Jesus Fucking Christ….” Javi whispered, clutching his hand over his chest, trying to steady his heart rate back to normal, the two of you looking at each other in pure terror. 

“If you’re going to drop her off and make a scene in my driveway, the least you can do is help an old woman out before you leave, Javier!” Maria demanded, still rapping her knuckles against the glass, the two of you trying to keep from dying of embarrassment as you exited out of the car. 

“Sorry Maria…” The two of you grimaced, still trying to avoid direct eye contact with her before she decided to scold you more. 

“Chucho is right, you two are no worse than a pair of teenagers. Come on, we only have an hour before everyone arrives and I need you and that wildly blonde haired boy to help me move chairs.” Shaking her head in disappointment, Maria was already halfway up the driveway and into the house as you and Javi trailed behind her, glancing at each other in confusion as to who she was referring to, until you noticed the Murphy’s car parked on the side of the street, realizing that Steve and Connie must have beaten you there. 

Before you even had a chance to make it a foot into the house, you were greeted by an overbearing swarm of people rushing to say hello and give you a hug, already feeling overwhelmed 30 seconds into the start of your shower, and these were all people you knew. Your mom was the first to make her way through the crowd, squeezing you in a death grip hug, even though you had just seen her last night after picking her up from the airport and dropping her off at her hotel. 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe the day is almost here! My baby girl is finally getting married! Ugh, you look beautiful sweetheart!” Your mom beamed, planting a chaste kiss on your cheek before making her way over to Javi, squeezing him just as hard. “C’mere, don’t think that you get to escape hugs from me too, Javi.” Javi looked over at you, trying his best not to laugh at everyone’s dramatics, knowing how stressed you already were, and that no one’s overly excited attitude was doing you any favors. 

“Ouch on the finally there, Mom. What do you need help with?” You asked, noticing that your mom had been holding on to Javi for a touch longer than what was probably appropriate while everyone else continued to hustle and bustle around Maria’s house. 

“Does he always smell that good? God, I wished your father smelled like that, the man smells like a sweaty sock. Javi, what kind of cologne do you-” 

“Mom! Jesus Christ.” You interjected, burying your hands in your face.

“Sorry, sorry! Honey, you don’t need to help with anything, it’s your shower!” Your mom swatted her hand at you, shaking her head in disbelief that you would ask to help, even though she knew better than anyone it was not in your nature to sit back on the sidelines and let other people do the work for you. 

“Why don’t you come help me set up decorations?” A soft voice replied behind you, making you whip your head around as their hand rested on your shoulder. 

“Connie!” You grinned, throwing her arms around her, relieved to find someone who wasn’t going to drive you absolutely crazy for the next hour of party prep. “It’s so good to see you, thank you so much for coming!” 

“Hey, Sweetheart!” a lower voice grunted from behind a stack of folding chairs making its way to the backyard. 

“Wow, Maria put you to work too, Steve? Yikes, she’s running a tight ship around here.” You and Connie snickered as Steve set down his stack of chairs, revealing his already sweaty and frustrated face, considering Maria had probably made him carry 6 trips worth of seats up and down the stairs since he and Connie had arrived. 

“You’re tellin’ me. Hey, make yourself useful and pick up some of these chairs, lazy ass. Sooner we get this set up, the sooner I kick your butt at golf.” Steve smirked, gesturing over at Javi, still standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips. 

“In that case, I’m taking one chair at a time.” Javi sighed, pressing a quick kiss to your temple in stride towards Steve, giving him a swift hug and a pat on the back before being interrupted by a shrill and demanding voice. 

“JAVIER. I HEARD THAT. IF I DON’T SEE YOU WITH A STACK OF CHAIRS IN YOUR HANDS THE NEXT TIME YOU’RE OUTSIDE, IT’D BETTER BE BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD.” Maria shouted from across the house, making everyone’s faces freeze in fear. 

“You heard the woman. Chop, chop, Peña.” Steve chuckled to himself before passing off half of the chairs over to Javi, and walking towards the back of the house as Javi picked up his share, begrudgingly trailing behind Steve. 

“Alright, we should probably get to work on decorations before Maria finds us standing around for too long. I know you’re the bride, but I have a feeling that holds very little value to her until everything is set up.” Connie shrugged, nodding towards the backyard where the shower was being held. 

“You’re definitely right, and I would prefer to live through my bridal shower in order to make it to my actual wedding.” 

With all of the helping hands around the house, and Maria’s commanding dictatorship over shower setup, all of you had finished with time to spare, leaving your mom and co-workers to happily chat and gossip amongst themselves as you and Connie found your way to say goodbye to Steve and Javi, one of whom was looking much more excited about departing for golf than the other. 

“Have fun, ladies. Any last words for your future husband before I absolutely obliterate him on the golf course?” Steve snickered, giving Javi a soft punch on the shoulder. 

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi groaned, rolling his eyes as he braced himself for the next 3 hours of harassment from his former partner. 

“Don’t be too hard on him, okay Steve? He gets grumpy when he loses, so just a reasonable amount of ass whooping, nothing too drastic.” You teased, now playfully punching on the other side of his arm, you, Steve, and Connie laughing to yourselves at Javi’s fed up frown. 

“Says the one who literally pouted for hours after insisting we play "Sorry" and then she lost.” Javi smugly murmured, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well someone wasn’t very sorry about it, were they… You know what, Steve? I changed my mind, go ahead and kick his ass for me.” A mischievous grin grew across your face, bursting out into giggles as Javi flung his arms around you, giving you a squeeze and shaking you in his grasp. 

“Pendejo. Alright, you need anything else before I go get my ass kicked, Hermosa?” Javi asked, pressing a kiss into your hair. You were about to speak, but stopped yourself for a moment, looking Javi up and down, admiring how handsome he looked in the khakis and navy blue polo he had picked out this morning. You’d been so worried and worked up about the day that you hadn’t really had a chance to get a good look at him until now, and God, part of you wished you hadn’t taken the time to really take it all in as he stood next to you. You knew there was nothing you could really do about it now, but that wasn’t about to stop you from at least getting a little taste. 

“Uh yeah, I uh- actually um, I uh, I scraped my finger earlier on one of the banners I was setting up and I think I got a papercut. I forgot to ask Maria about it earlier, but um, can you show me where the bandaids are upstairs again?” You tried your best to sound as casual as possible, but Javi knew just as well as you that there was no way in hell that you actually needed a bandaid. His brow scrunched in a slight confusion, head cocked to the side as if to say “I think I know where this is going and I’m not really sure it’s going to work” before giving you a little shrug, gesturing up towards the bathroom at the top of the stairwell, trying to keep his smug grin hidden between his lips. 

“Yeah, I uh- here, let me show you where they are and I can get you one before we go.” Before Steve or Connie could even muster a word in protest, Javi was already dragging you halfway up the stairs, barely letting you make it to the top of the stairway before closing the bathroom door behind you. 

“Band Aid, really? That was the best you could come up with?” Javi laughed under his breath, letting his hands roam down your sides and under the hem of your dress as his fingers dug into the meat of your ass, the heat of his breath tickling your skin where his lips met your neck, gently sucking at your pulse point, making a tiny moan escape from your mouth. 

“I needed to come up with something to get you alone for long enough to give you a proper goodbye before you left.” 

“And a Band Aid was the way to do that?” 

“Oh shut up.” You giggled, draping your arms over Javi’s neck, letting your hands roam through the curls at the nape of his neck before pulling him in tighter to let his lips crash into yours with an electric intensity, his fingertips gripping deeper into your flesh. 

“I don’t think-” Javi muttered between kisses, “I don’t think a bandaid is gonna buy us enough time to do anything, Hermosa.” 

“I know. I just needed this. Just needed to kiss your stupidly handsome face. I needed something before you left me to fend for myself. Plus,” you paused, pulling back to see the lovestruck grin spread between Javi’s cheeks, “only fair that I get a chance to recreate our first kiss.” You snickered, gesturing to the interior of Maria’s bathroom, where you had found yourself with Javi almost a year ago to the day, your lips meeting for the first time as you sat on the ledge of the sink after Javi had came to your aid when a shattered beer bottle had landed in your leg. 

“Fuck, I forgot our first kiss was in Maria’s bathroom. Real fucking smooth of me, huh?” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes at his past self for letting your first kiss be in the bathroom of his Mom’s best friend’s house. 

“Smooth enough for me to wanna marry you, so I guess it all worked out okay, didn’t it?” You teased, planting one last kiss on his lips before shooting him a wink and slipping out the bathroom, your face warm and tingly from the rush of excitement tucked away with Javi in your impromptu makeout session. Javi ran his hand over his face, taking a moment to try and compose himself, shaking his head to himself in shock and delight at how he found himself falling more and more in love with you every day. 

“Okay, uh- sorry, sorry about that. Just didn’t wanna have to bother Maria for anything.” You sighed, darting your eyes away from Steve and Connie, their arms crossed against their chest with almost comically smug smirks on their faces as they watched you shuffle back down the stairs, Javi reluctantly trailing behind you. 

“Yeah? How’d that bandaid work out for ya?” Steve smiled with a shit eating grin, nodding to your hands, neither of them with a bandaid anywhere in sight. You let out a gulp, trying to quickly tuck your hands behind your back, your cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment. “Goddamn, you two gonna make it 3 hours without touching each other, or am I gonna have to bring him back here after hole 4 for a mid-round makeout?” 

“Jesus Christ, Murph, really?.” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Bye, love you. Have fun and I’ll see you soon.” Leaned over, snaking his arm around your waist to plant one last kiss in your hair. 

“Not soon enough, apparently…” 

“Murphy…” 

“Stop makin’ out and I’ll stop givin’ you shit.” 

“Touche…” You muttered under your breath, just loud enough to make the 4 of you burst into laughter, easing the uncomfortable tension that you had brought upon yourself from your antics. “Love you too, have fun getting your ass kicked.” 

“Yes, yes, out, out, out! It’s only 10 minutes until guests arrive and your truck is taking up all the room in the driveway! Out!” Stampeding into the living room, Maria waved her hands at the boys, quite literally shooing them out of the house after overhearing your goodbyes. Giving a quick wave to Javi as Maria kicked him and Steve to the curb, you caught Javi’s head whipping around for one last glance at you before you left, giving you a once over with his eyes and a soft smile on his face as the front door shut behind him. 

Truth be told, your shower ended up being way less painful than you expected it would be. In all honesty, it was actually somewhat enjoyable. The fact that your mom, co-workers, and Connie had put into helping everyone come together to celebrate you filled your heart with so much more joy than you could have predicted- your friends and family had bought you and Javi so many more gifts than you knew what to do with, had so many kind things to say about the two of you, and Connie had even gone out of her way to make sure that there were fun games planned for everyone to keep the need for constant socialization at bay. It really had ended up being a fun afternoon, even if it meant having to answer the same questions about your wedding, house and honeymoon plans more times than you could count. 

Javi, on the other hand, could not have been having a worse time on the golf course, getting his ass thoroughly handed to him by Steve hole after hole, wondering to himself how anyone could bring themself to genuinely enjoy the torture that had been the past two and a half hours of hacking his club into chunks of grass and loosing his golf balls in the brush. The only consoling factor was that Javi was grateful to spend time with Steve, even if it meant being berated by endless questions from him on top of his painful performance while he played. 

“You feelin’ ready for the big day?” Steve grunted, after smacking his driver against his ball from the tee box, Javi relieved that the pair were finally on the 9th and final hole. 

“Yeah, I mean- Oh fuck me-” Javi grumbled, hitting his club and watching his ball fly into a patch of trees, the opposite direction of where he was trying to aim for, “I still can’t believe I’m getting married.” 

“You and me both, Jav. I never thought I’d live to see the fuckin’ day, that’s for damn sure. Javier Peña, a married man.” Steve chuckled, slipping his club into his golf bag as Javi followed behind, grabbing what must have been the 57th golf ball from his bag this round. 

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head at his friends’ jab, the two of them hopping into the golf cart together to try and scavenge for Javi’s long lost ball. 

“I’m just given’ you shit, Jav. I’m fuckin’ happy for you man. Really happy. She’s a great girl. Best thing that’s ever happened to your sorry ass, I’ll tell you that much. Guess you don’t have to worry about really followin’ through this time?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re actually gonna get married this time? You’re not leavin’ her at the altar like Lorraine, huh?” As Steve laughed to himself, Javi could practically feel his stomach drop, his heart beginning to race as a wave of terrible guilt and panic washed over him at his friend’s ironic question. 

To his own shock and surprise, Javi hadn’t thought about his last lack of a wedding once since the two of you had gotten engaged. He had been so head over heels excited to spend the rest of his life with you, that the failures of his past engagement had been tucked far away in the back of his mind. But then again, no one had been so gracious as to bring up the knife to the chest that was leaving Lorraine at the altar, and no one had been so gracious as to bring it up in classic Steve Murphy fashion. 

Javi could audibly hear himself gulp, his heartbeat pounding so loud he could hear it ringing in his ears as the terrible reality of the past he had so glady forgotten about met him in a head on collision, instantly re-opening all of the cuts and wounds he had finally managed to sew together. 

The last time he almost got married, Javier Peña had astronomically fucked up the lives of every last person who cared about him, leaving nothing but chaos and heartbreak in his wake.   

Rationally, Javi could tell himself that his upcoming wedding was the polar opposite of everything that was once planned between him and Lorraine. Javi couldn’t have cared less about Lorraine. From the moment he had wearily accepted his fate, he had dreaded every moment of his future from that point on. But you were not Lorraine. 

Javi loved you. 

Javi cared about you. 

Javi wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you and give you everything in the world you could possibly want. 

But, one mention of that 8 letter name had Javi’s brain flooding with every single doubt, regret, and painful memory of his past that he had fought so hard to forget. It had his mind reeling with every uncomfortable feeling of remembering the man he had been before you had come into his life and changed him for the better. He knew he was a better man. A stronger man. A man who was worthy of the love and compassion you had shown him from the moment you two had met. 

Or was he? 

“Earth to Javi? Hello? Anyone home?” Waving his hand in front of Javi’s face, Steve stared at Javi in confusion as to why it seemed like his friend had suddenly become lost in his own world as they pulled up to the patch of trees where his ball had most likely landed. 

“Uh yeah, uh- what, sorry, um, what did you say?” Javi asked, visibly trying to shake the thoughts from his head, painfully scrunching his face and running his hand through his hair before looking back over at Steve. 

“I asked if you were gonna go get the ball or if you just wanted to add to your +200 score and drop one here instead. Hey, you okay, man?” Steve questioned, pausing for a moment before asking the later half of his statement, seeing the color flushed from Javi’s face. 

“Uh, yeah- Yeah, sorry, I just, I’m good. I’ll um, I’ll just drop a ball.” Javi muttered half to himself as he stepped out of the cart, barely paying attention enough to even remember what in the world he was even looking for in his golf bag. 

If Javi wasn’t already thankful to be on the last hole before Steve’s comment, he sure as hell was now, mindlessly whacking his golf club with no regard as to how his ball made it to the green. Any thoughts about golf, let alone any previous attempts to even try to play well had now flown out the window, creeping thoughts of self doubt and resentment crawling through Javi’s mind. The rest of the round and the entire car ride back to Maria’s were spent in an internal battle ranging in Javi’s brain, the fight between the man he used to be and the man he’d thought he’d become rearing its ugly head with a painful intensity that absolutely felt like it was consuming him whole.  

Steve, who was just as oblivious to his friend’s distraught state as he was to the idiocracy of his sarcastic question, had chalked Javi’s quiet and somber mood up to being an overly sore loser after getting mercilessly crushed at golf. Little did he know that his one silly comment had sent Javi spiraling down a trail of crushing self-doubt. 

As the pair pulled into the driveway and made their way to the backyard where a few straggling party goers still lingered, trying to monopolize their time with you to get the details of your upcoming plans for the future. Being the attentive and patient person that you were, you were trying your hardest to seem enthused and engaged with in the conversation with who you thought was Javi’s Aunt’s Cousin (at this point, you had been introduced to so many new people, you were questioning your own name), but it wasn’t long before your future husband’s big, broad body entering the backyard had you more than distracted, your face instantly lighting up at the sight of him. Peeking over his Aunt’s cousin (or cousin’s aunt, you weren’t really sure) shoulder, you bit down on your lip to try and contain your excitement, letting a little wave shake from your hand in his direction. 

Javi wished that your sweet smile and beautiful self were enough to snap him out of his funk, to see how you beamed in excitement just at the sight of him and shot him that lovestruck look he’d never get sick of- but for some twisted reason, it only made him feel worse. 

You were everything- kind, smart, funny, the most breathtaking woman he’d ever seen. But what was he? Tired? Broken? A shitty guy who had done even shitter things, who had left nothing but destruction in his path for years and years, with no regard for who it hurt, or even worse, left for dead? How was he supposed to give you everything you deserved when he sure as fuck didn’t deserve you? 

Before you had even said a word to him, you could already sense something was off about Javi’s demeanor that was due to more than just losing to Steve in golf. Even from across the backyard, his forced smile and tired brown eyes had a worried pit swirling in the bottom of your stomach, politely excusing yourself from your conversation to make your way over to Javi. 

“Hi! You guys have fun at golf? Steve didn’t kick your ass too bad?” You grinned, wrapping your arms around Javi’s waist, pressing up on your toes to plant a kiss on his lips, his mouth barely ghosting over yours in return. 

“Yeah, it was um- yeah, it was fine.” Javi nodded, trying to make a smile appear between his pursed lips. “How was the shower? You uh, you ready for Steve and I to start putting things in the truck to bring over to the new house?” 

You immediately frowned in response, cocking your head in confusion at him. “Yeah, it was great, but hey, are- are you okay? You seem really off, like more than just Steve kicking your ass at golf off. Did something happen?” 

“No, I’m- yeah, I’m good, Hermosa.” Javi’s eyes darted towards the ground, trying his best to stifle his sigh before another fake smile spread across his face, his response making you even more concerned than you were before, seeing he was clearly lying to you. As much as you wanted to problem solve right then and there to figure out what had Javi so distressed, the calls of one of the last groups of party goers wanting to say their goodbyes rang across the backyard, you flashing them a quick smile and a wave to signal you’d be over in a second. Before you could try and get anything else out of Javi, he had already backed himself away from your hands still tangled around his waist, nodding towards the group of women who were not so patiently waiting for you. “Go say goodbye, I’ll start loading stuff up.” 

“Um, I- uh, yeah, o-okay. Thanks.” You murmured, half to yourself, as Javi had already begun to walk away to find Steve to help him start carrying things out to the car, leaving you more anxious and confused with every passing second. 

With goodbyes finished, and decor and party setup cleaned up just as fast as Maria had demanded it to be put up, you and Javi made your way to your now packed car, followed by Connie and Steve, who had asked to see the progress on your new house while they were in town. You figured you’d kill two birds with one stone, inviting them over and having them help to unload gifts in the same trip, but now, given the strangely somber mood that Javi couldn’t seem to shake, you really wished it was just the two of you so you could figure out what the hell was going on. 

You and Javi piled into his truck, Steve and Connie hopping into theirs and following you down Maria’s street towards your new house. A stark silence filled the car, praying to yourself that maybe Javi just wanted to be alone before he said anything about his current state, but 5 minutes down the road without a single word falling from his lips, you had a devastating feeling that wasn’t going to be the case. 

Your leg bounced against the seat, fingers nervously drumming in your lap, letting out a quiet sigh to yourself before looking over at Javi and mustering up the courage to try and interrogate. 

“Sooooo, golf was fun? I love ya, but I think it’s probably safe to assume Steve won?” You quietly snickered, trying your best to stay nonchalant. 

“Yeah, it was good, Steve won, but that’s no surprise because I suck at golf.” Javi mumbled to himself, barely glancing your direction from behind the yellow tinted aviators perched on the bridge of his nose. Normally, if either of you had something that self-deprecating to say, it was at least followed by some sort of a joke or laugh, but his comment ended with nothing but a stoic silence as his hands gripped tighter around the steering wheel. 

“Hey, babe, it’s okay, you don’t ever golf, so it’s hard to expect yourself to be good at something you rarely ever do.” You reached over to grab his arm to reassure him, that unsettling and anxious pit beginning to grow in your stomach again with the way Javi was acting. All he could muster was a half hearted huff in response, signaling to you that whatever was happening was much bigger than a poor game of golf. 

“Javi… Baby, what’s going on? Did something happen with Steve?” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“It’s clearly not nothing, Jav. Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, I told you, it’s fine.” 

“Javi, it obviously isn’t fine if this is the way you’re acting about it. Why won’t you talk to me about it? I just wanna-” 

“I told you, it’s fine, okay!? Jesus, I don’t need you to solve all my problems.”

Oh.  

You and Javi had been in arguments before, hell, you’d been in fights before, but never once in the time that you’d known him, had Javi snapped at you like this. You could practically feel yourself recoiling in your seat from the harsh tone of his voice, fighting back the tears that had instantly begun welling in your eyes. You could feel your heart in your throat, choking down a heavy gulp as your lip quivered to try and keep from crying. 

What had gone so wrong that Javi was acting like this? 

You wish you had it in you to dig it out of him, but as you pulled up the driveway of your new home, Steve and Connie right behind you, ready for a tour, the best you could muster was a quiet, “O-okay.” As soon as the car was in park, Javi was unbuckling his seatbelt and slamming the door behind him, leaving you behind in the car, trying everything in your power to not become a startled, sobbing mess. 

Wiping away the wetness pooling behind your eyelids, you swiped the back of your hand against your cheeks, taking a few deep breaths before following behind, mustering up as much courage as you could to keep your cool for however long Steve and Connie were planning to stick around before heading back to San Antonio. 

You had hoped that Steve and Connie hadn't picked up on the palpable tension brewing between you and Javi, trying your best to put on a brave face as you paraded the Murphy’s through your nearly completed house. To be quite honest, you couldn’t have recalled anything that had happened in the time that they were there, your mind racing in torment as you watched Javi brood around your new home, barely saying a word to you, let alone make any eye contact, or look in your general direction. 

As the four of you made your way upstairs, your attention was finally caught by the low lull of Steve’s laughter as he situated himself between you and Javi, grabbing you both by the shoulders and shaking you in his grasp. 

“Well I’ll be damned. Y’all got enough rooms up here to house half a baseball team! You want that many kids driving ya nuts, huh?” Steve chuckled, making his way down the hallway, peeking into the empty bedrooms of your 2nd story. 

“Steve!” Connie scolded, slapping the back of her hand against Steve’s stomach for his comment. 

“What?! I’m just sayin’! I thought y’all would want like, 2, but there’s enough room for way more than that. I mean, I guess you two are fuckin’ goin’ at it like rabbits all the time, so I can’t really be shocked.” 

“Steven Edward Murphy! Jesus Christ!” Connie snapped, shooting Steve a dangerous glare, aggressively raising an eyebrow at her husband as she gestured towards you and Javi. 

“No, it’s okay, we don’t know for sure how many we want, but we figured if we had the space we’d add the rooms and even if they’re not bedrooms, they’ll still get used.” You had it in you enough to force a half smile across your face, flashing it at Steve and Connie before looking over at Javi. 

While you hadn’t expected much of a response from him given the current situation, what you weren’t expecting was the panic stricken look painting Javi from head to toe. 

If you weren’t already worried out of your mind about what the fuck was going on with Javi, you sure as fuck were now.  

“Uh, I um- yeah.”

Those were the only words Javi was able to choke out through the audible thumps pounding in his chest as his face went ghost white, eyes peeled to the ground. 

“See, Steve? You’re making them uncomfortable! You have absolutely no filter, I swear! I’m so sorry, you guys!” Connie frantically apologized, giving Steve another hardy slap in the stomach, making him wince. 

“I’m just jokin’, Jesus Christ, sorry!” Steve grumbled, holding up his hands in defense from his wife’s accusation, sheepishly looking over at you and Javi with a little shrug. 

“No, it’s uh- no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You had given up on trying to be convincing at this point, your voice quietly shaking as you stared at Javi, now looking like a terrified, ragged shell of himself. 

What the fuck was going on? Did Javi want to wait to have kids? Did he not want to have that many? Was he having second thoughts about kids all together? Fuck, was he having second thoughts about getting married? He’s literally never acted like this before. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

You were sure at this point, you probably looked just as much of a mess as Javi did, letting your thoughts race wildly throughout your brain, the silence now lingering between the four of you now seemed to feel deafening, Connie beginning to pick up on the uneasiness festering between you and Javi and knowing she had enough common sense for her and Steve to pick up her cue to see herself out. 

“Well, still, I’m sorry. We should probably get going anyways, we told the sitter we’d be back around 6 so we should probably hit the road. Thank you so much for the tour! The shower was beautiful and I’m so glad I could be there for it. We’ll see you guys for the big day soon! Just let me know if you need any help with wedding stuff between now and then okay?” 

“Uh yeah, yeah of course. Thanks for all your help, Con. I’ll um- I’ll let you know if we need anything.” You stammered as Connie pulled you in for a hug goodbye, followed quickly by Steve, who planted a few pats on your back mid hug. 

“Bye sweetheart, thanks for letting me steal this asshole for golf today. See y’all when you’re gettin’ ready to get hitched! Adios, loser.” Steve chuckled as he pulled away from your hug to tug Javi into another, giving him an even harder pat on the back before letting Connie say her goodbyes as well. 

“Do you want me to walk you guys down to your-” 

“Nah, we’ll find our way out, no worries. Bye lovebirds, see ya soon.” Steve grinned, giving the both of you one last wave farewell before disappearing down the stairs, their hushed bickers about Steve’s unnecessary comments quietly trailing behind them. Before you could even get a word out to Javi now that the two of you were alone, he was already halfway down the stairs behind the Murphy’s, not even bothering to look back at you as he mumbled under his breath. 

“I’m gonna get the gifts out of the car and go sit outside.” 

“Jav, wait, I-” 

You could feel the lump beginning to swell in your throat, your bottom lip trembling with tears welling in your eyes as you watched Javi storm down the stairs without even so much as an attempt to care about what you had to say, leaving you with nothing but yourself and 5 empty bedrooms that now had you questioning everything you thought you knew about your future with Javi. You felt your body begin to collapse like a sad pile of jello as you melted into a sobbing puddle on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest as you cried into the flowy fabric of your dress, leaving wet stains behind from your tears. Your breaths were rapid and shaky with each muffled sob, trying to rationally grasp on to something, anything, as to why Javi was acting this way. But the more the gears frantically turned in your brain, the more irrational and terrifying your thoughts became. 

This all happened so fucking fast. It’s only been a year since I’ve known him. Is he realizing it’s too much? Am I too much? This was all too fucking good to be true, wasn’t it, you fucking idiot. 

Taking a few more minutes to collect yourself enough to at least stop full on sobbing, you wiped your wet cheeks with the back of your palm, inhaling a trembling deep breath as you mustered up every ounce of courage you could find to face whatever fate was waiting for you downstairs with Javi. 

Each step down the stairs felt heavier than the last, leaving your fingers anxiously drumming against your legs as you saw Javi’s broad body hunched over the side of the unfinished back patio, staring out to the tall grass of your backyard swaying in the warm summer breeze. If it were any other time, you would have rushed up behind him, wrapping your body around his back and attacking him with kisses until the two of you were wound up in a fit of laughter and giggles, happily tangled in each other's bodies. 

Right now, you were terrified to even step too close to him. 

Carefully and quietly sliding open the glass door to the porch, you prayed with every bone in your body you weren’t going to do anything that set Javi off enough to even let you attempt to have a conversation with him about what was going on. The new wood softly creaked under your shoes, making Javi turn his head just enough to acknowledge your presence as you wearily approached him. Taking one more deep breath, you opened your mouth to speak, but with your jaw hanging open, Javi’s words filled the stark silence before yours could. 

“I don’t know if we should get married.” 

Fuck. 

You could practically feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, like the weight of 1,000 bricks had been dropped on your body all at once, hearing that come out of his mouth. You could have mentally tried to brace yourself for a lot of things, but hearing Javi tell you he didn't want to get married anymore sure as hell wasn't one of them.

“Javi, I- baby, what- I don’t- I don’t-” 

“Why the fuck do you even wanna marry me?” 

Your brows scrunched in pain and confusion at the sharp tone of his words, desperate to try and understand what point he was trying to prove in this gut wrenching game he seemed to be playing. 

“Because I- Javi, I- Javi I love you, that’s why.” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you sat down next to him on the edge of the porch, leaning over enough to see the tears glistening down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy as he tried to stifle the sobs rumbling in his chest. He shook his head back and forth before his gaze fell into his lap. 

“You shouldn’t love me.” 

“Javi… what the fuck are you talking about?” you plead, feeling the pain and hurt creeping through your body as you watched the tears he was so desperately trying to fight. With a scornful scoff, Javi shook his head, pressing against his knees to stand, taking a few paces around the porch, burying his hands in his face, his words muffled and muted by his palms covering his mouth. 

“What the fuck am I- I’m not- I’m not what you deserve. I don’t understand how you don’t fucking see that.” 

You followed suit, bringing yourself to stand with your arms crossed tightly across your chest, staring at Javi in bewilderment, biting down on your tongue so hard to keep from bursting into tears you thought you were going to make it bleed. You could feel the storm of pain, anger and confusion brewing deep in the pit of your stomach, your body numb and mind blank. 

“Javier. What the fuck is going on? I don’t understand why-” 

“Because last time I was gonna get married I fucked up everything. For everyone. I hurt everyone I cared about. I went half way around the world and I spent a decade fucking things up even more. How do you know I’m not gonna fuck everything up again? I love you too much to let it happen to you. The thought of ever hurting you even half as I much as I’ve hurt anyone else because of my choices fucking kills me. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt you like I’ve hurt everyone else. I’d never fucking forgive myself. I love you more than anything, Osita. I love you more than anything in the world. You deserve someone who isn’t going to hurt you. Someone who will do right by you, by your family, your future children, I just- fuck- I don’t think that person can be me.” 

A deafening silence hung in the air as you stared blankly at Javi, tears streaming from his tormented brown eyes, his body trembling with devastation and regret. You had no doubt your body mirrored his as the guilt and heartbreak flooded you from head to toe, wondering how in the world you had ever let the man you loved and cared about more than anything feel like he wasn’t enough for you. 

You wished you could speak- to find the words to tell him that he was your everything, the glue that had put you back together when you were convinced there was nothing else that could mend the broken mess that you had become. You wished you could express to him that there was no one on the face of this earth that you would rather spend the rest of your life with than him- that there was no one else you wanted by your side through every moment of your life, the good, the bad and the ugly, more than him. You wished there was a way to tell him that you loved him more than anything, but in that moment, all you could do was grab him and wrap your arms around his waist, squeezing him as tightly as your body would let you, letting your wet face rest against the familiar warmth of his chest as you whispered into the soft fabric of his shirt. 

“Javier Peña, you’re the only person it could be.” 

You could feel his chest begin to rumble with heavy sobs as his arms draped around you, pulling you against his body so closely, it was like his life depended on it, like he couldn’t bear the thought of ever letting you go again. One arm stayed wrapped around your back as the other slid up the back of your neck, his broad palm cradling your head in his grasp, his fingers practically digging into your skin to keep you close as the two of you let yourselves do nothing but hold each other in your teary silence. 

You let one of your hands reach up towards Javi’s face, cupping his jaw and forcing his gaze back on to you, as your thumb traced back and forth along his cheek, wiping away the wetness that had been welling in his eyes. 

“I need you to listen to me, okay?” You asked, waiting until you felt Javi’s head gently nod up and down in understanding in your palm before you continued, “The man you were before doesn’t scare me. If it did, I would have been gone a long time ago. The man you were before has turned you into the man that you’ve become. The man that I want to spend everyday with for the rest of my life. Every good day, every bad day, every painful, hard and shitty day, and every day in between. And I promise that I will spend every last one of those days until the day I die trying my best to convince you that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And if I die trying, then so be it. I love you, Javi. Don’t you ever think for a second that there is anyone out there that I want to spend the rest of my life with more than you, and I won’t ever let you forget it.” 

It was only moments before both of Javi’s hands were cradling your face, gently trembling as they cupped your soft, wet skin as you locked eyes with his, watching his face shift from terrified to bewildered, thinking he must have misheard what you had just said to him. 

“Osita, I-” 

“Promise me.” 

“Promise you what?” 

“Promise me that you believe me. Promise me that you know I love you more than anything.”

There was a part of Javi’s brain that wished he could find something to prove that he couldn’t. To prove he wasn’t worthy of keeping the promise you had made to him. To convince himself that he had no reason to believe he was worthy of the love you had given him.

But the truth was, for the first time that he could remember, as he looked down at you, the woman who had taken his life and forever changed it for the better, who had helped to heal him in ways he didn’t know he needed, who had cared for him in ways he never thought he deserved, and who had stood by him even as you learned about the ugliest parts of him he never thought he’d forgive himself for, Javier Peña finally realized he had learned what it was like to be worthy of love. 

You had made him realize he was worthy of being loved. 

A small gulp slid down his throat between his shaky breaths, taking a moment to soak in everything about you, before letting his lips ghost across yours as a quiet whisper left his mouth. 

“I promise.” 

And just like that, his lips crashed into yours with a ferocious and tender passion, soaking in every ounce of the sweet flavor of you, a taste he knew he would never tire of, one that he craved like nothing else. 

“I love you, Osita. Fuck, I love you so much.” Javi moaned between your kisses, praying with every bone in his body you knew how much he meant it. 

“I love you too, Javi.” The hot breath of your words danced across his lips before they were crashing together once again, his tongue swiping between your parted mouths as he ran his hand down your back and around your waist, pulling you so close you were convinced your bodies were going to melt into one as you pressed against his broad chest, now needily grasping at fist fulls of his shirt. 

In that moment, it was like the two of you could feel something in the air change. The tension lifting, the frustrated fog fading, the both of you desperately needing the other to know how much you loved them. The Javi you knew and loved had come back, returning home to you. All of the fear and sadness was replaced by a rampant desperation to know how much you needed him, almost as much as he needed to show you how hopelessly he craved you, too. 

With your bodies still tangled together, your kisses became messier and sloppier as you backed your way towards the door that lead inside, stumbling and trampling over each other’s feet without any regard for where you were headed until you felt your back bump against the kitchen island, the rounded edges of the countertop stopping you in your tracks as Javi caged you between his broad figure and the island. 

Both of your hands were now feverishly roaming across each other’s bodies before Javi had run his hands down your thighs, hoisting you up to sit on the countertop, planting hot, wet kisses across your neck and collarbone while his fingers crept under the hem of your dress, his palms sliding up and down your legs, digging his fingers into your flesh. 

“Javi…” You whimpered, letting your eyes close and head fall back as he sucked at your pulse point, leaving you with one hand bracing yourself against the edge of the counter and the other with your fingers wrapped around the navy fabric of Javi’s shirt, clinging on for dear life. 

You eyes opened, and gaze shifted downwards as you felt Javi pull away from your grasp, watching him drop to his knees, slotting himself between your parted legs and kissing the inside of your thighs while his hands tugged at the waistband of your already soaked underwear, hastily shuffling them to fall down your legs and pool at your ankles. His needy kisses up your thighs crept closer and closer to your core as your legs draped over his shoulders, kneeling before you like you were the altar of everything he worshiped as his deep brown eyes looked up at yours, like he was begging for forgiveness for his sins. 

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I’m so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. Fuck, I love you so much. Let me show me how much I love you. Please, baby. Please let me show you how much I need to be yours.” 

Your response was nothing but a ragged moan as you felt his hot breath hovering over your cunt before letting long, flat licks of his tongue drag through your folds, each swipe pressing firmer than the last, lapping up the arousal dripping from your entrance like a sweet nectar. With one hand still white knuckling the edge of the countertop, the other shot down to bury itself in the dark curls of Javi’s thick locks, tugging at ends to find some place to ease your tension as he began to flick and swirl his tongue relentlessly against your clit, lapping you up like a man starved. 

“Oh fuck Javi- fuck- you feel so good, baby.” You moaned, raking your fingers along Javi’s scalp as you watched his head bob nestled between your legs, feeling the low hum of satisfaction thrumming in his throat as he began to suck your sensitive bundle of nerves, latching his lips around your clit as his mouth worked feverishly against your cunt. You could already feel the tingle beginning to grow at the base of your spine and spread to your legs as Javi found every sweet spot that he knew made you lose all control, desperate to make you feel how much he needed your love and forgiveness. 

“That’s it, sweet girl. Let go for me baby, I’ve got you.” Javi hummed before diving back between your legs, tightening his grip around your thighs as his tongue danced around your clit relentlessly. It wasn’t long before you could feel your orgasm begin to flood your body, pleasure crashing through you as you cried out his name, a death grip clutching around the counter and Javi’s dark locks. Javi worked you through your high, drinking up the juices of your slick as you came, feeling your legs tremble as they stayed slung over his broad shoulders, not stopping until your body was shaking and your whimpers and moans had become so wrecked, he had no choice but to stop to relish in the blissed out, dripping mess he had made you. He would have loved to stay like this forever, watching you become more and more wrecked beneath his tongue, the want, no, need, to be buried inside your heat, getting lost in your wetness and warmth, savoring in the way no one else would ever be able to have you like he did, to know that you were his. 

Javi worked in a determined silence, rusting with his belt buckle until the metal clangs of it opening had his pants and boxers in a puddle around his ankles, splaying kisses across your neck as he slid you towards the edge of the counter, his fingers digging into your hips with a bruising intensity. He stroked himself a few times as he lined his cock up with your entrance, guiding his tip through the glistening arousal covering your folds, leaving his dick shiny with your slick as you whimpered into his skin. 

“Javi… Please, baby. I need you.” You whimpered, instinctively bucking your hips towards him, desperately craving him to ease the achy emptiness between your legs. 

Resting his forehead against yours, the dark, damp curls of his hair brushed your skin, the hot and heavy heat of each of your shaky breaths melting into one another’s as your lips ghosted his, only fully meeting yours to catch the moan that had escaped your mouth as he pushed himself into your heat, letting himself bottom out, his tip brushing against your cervix. You couldn’t help but wrap your legs around the small of his back and drape your arms over his shoulders, desperate to have your bodies needily tangled and intertwined together as you savored in the sweet sting and stretch of his fullness. 

He began to rock his hips, letting his cock drag in and out of your cunt, taking his time with each stroke, the movement making you dig your fingernails into the fabric of his shirt stretched over his muscular back, in turn, making the grip he had around your waist even tighter, his fingers buried in the soft flesh of your stomach where his hands had crept under your dress. 

The way he punched up into you, perfectly pounding against your g-spot with each thrust, combined with the way the hairs at his base rubbed along your clit, already had the inevitable coil beginning to tighten in your belly. You dug your nails deeper into Javi’s skin, grasping for the damp curls at the nape of his neck, your whimpers growing louder and more desperate with each stroke as you could feel yourself beginning to crumble beneath him. 

Each stroke seemed to become deeper and fuller than the last, Javi’s pace now climbing in speed and intensity as he felt your cunt clench tighter and tighter around his cock, knowing that familiar feeling meant you were coming closer to your end. You could barely muster anything but a whimper, your soft pleads and begs going straight to his dick as he slid and out of your wet heat. 

“Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.” 

The lewd sounds of skin hitting skin and low, ragged moans echoed against the bare walls of your unfinished kitchen as Javi fucked deeper and deeper into you, singing sweet, soft praises against your skin between locking your lips with yours. 

“Fuck- Dámelo, Hermosa (Give it to me, beautiful). Need to feel you soak my cock before I fuck you full of me. It’s okay mi amor- mierda- té tengo. (my love- shit- I’ve got you.) I’ve always got you. Forever.” 

You could feel your legs lock even tighter around Javi’s waist as heat began to bloom in your belly, only needing a few more thrusts as you rolled your hips against his before your mind went blank and vision went white, your orgasm crashing through your body and flooding every inch of you with pleasure so intense, you could feel yourself going limp in his grasp. 

“Fuck, Javi, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god-ahhhhhhhh-” You whimpered as Javi fucked you through your high, now desperate to chase his own as his thrusts became rushed and sloppy, pounding into you as your walls gripped around his cock like a vice. Your warmth and wetness consumed him, only needing a few more pumps before he could feel himself following suit, hissing through gritted teeth as incoherent babbles spilled from his lips. 

“There it is, baby. Fuck- fuck, you’re so fucking perfect. I love you so much, Osita. Con todo mi corazón. (With my whole heart). Oh fuck- I’m yours forever. Oh shit, I’m gonna cum to, oh fuckkkkkk.” 

With one last thrust, Javi finished buried deep inside you, hot ropes of his cum coating your walls as a slick mixture of spend leaked down your thighs, leaving him panting while he slumped into your shoulder, his chest heaving with labored breaths, trying to compose himself. Bracing himself with one palm flat against the counter next to your hip, his other hand reached up to your face, brushing away a piece of stray hair back into place before gently cupping your cheek as he spoke. 

“Osita, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I didn’t mean what I said earlier, I just- fuck- I’ve never been so sure of anything, but when we were at golf today, Steve brought up Lorraine, and I- I just was so scared I was gonna fuck everything up again, and I-” 

“Oh God, he brought up Lorraine?! Jesus. I knew it. I knew this was Steve’s fucking fault.” You sighed, quietly laughing to yourself as you shook your head. 

“Wait, how did you-” 

“Because it just seemed so strange that you were acting like this all of a sudden. You got back from golfing with him and it was like you were a different person. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I was freaked out and panicking wondering what happened because you’ve never acted like that before. That, and because I love Steve, but he’s an idiot.” The two of you were both now laughing, Javi rubbing his hand over his face before rolling his eyes, wondering to himself how he had really let his friend’s stupid comment get the best of him. 

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I should have just ignored it, I just hadn’t thought about it in so long and I was so terrified to mess everything up again. It would kill me to hurt you like that.” His thumb circled around your cheek as he tilted your gaze to meet his, sincerity and remorse swirling in the dark pools of his chocolate brown eyes. 

“Javi, listen, if this is moving too fast, or it’s too much for you, I want you to be able to tell me, I understand if-” Before you could finish your sentence, Javi’s lips were planted tenderly against yours, pulling away from your mouth with a goofy grin and satisfied sigh. 

“I promise you, I’ve never wanted anything more. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t wait to marry you,” he leaned in, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek, “I can’t wait to live in our new house with you,” he grinned, planting another ticklish kiss on your neck, “I can’t wait until we can finally start filling up these empty rooms with little baby Peñas” Javi chuckled, now peppering kisses all over your body, making you erupt in a fit of laughter and giggles, squirming and flailing in his grasp, playfully swatting at him. “I can’t wait to spend every day for the rest of my life with the most beautiful, amazing woman I’ve ever met.” He smirked, tilting his head to let your mouths meet again, this kiss filled with a tender passion and intensity unmatched by his previous playful ones. 

It was the kind of kiss that said all of the things that words couldn’t. The kind of kiss that had butterflies fluttering in your stomach like the first kiss you had shared in Maria’s bathroom almost a year ago. The kind of kiss that made you fall even deeper in love with him, even when you thought you couldn’t. 

It was also the kind of kiss  where everything else in the world seemed to melt away and make time stand still, a kiss that you could have stayed lost in forever… unless a certain someone hadn’t forgotten his wallet at your house and needed to come back and get it. 

You were so oblivious to anything else happening around you, that neither you or Javi had heard your front door open, followed by the rushed, impatient footsteps of Steve and Connie, arguing about where Steve could have left his wallet, and how on earth he could have left without realizing it was missing from its usual home in his back pocket. 

“Seriously, Steve, I can’t believe we’re gonna waste a whole hour having to turn around and come back here because you couldn’t remember your wallet!” 

“Con, I told you, it’s right on the counter, I know where it is, lemme just go grab it really quick and then we ca- Oh Jesus fucking Christ!” Steve shouted, walking into the kitchen to see you and Javi making out on your island, your dress pushed up well past your legs, and Javi’s bare ass on display from his pants still pooling around his ankles. 

“Ahhhhh!” You and Javi shrieked, practically jumping out of your skin to see Steve’s tall and lanky frame frozen in your kitchen, now scrambling to try and fix your clothes and hair to try and save yourselves at least some dignity. 

“What the hell are you two doin’?!” Steve grimaced, trying not to cackle to himself as Connie rushed up behind him to see what was happening, only to very quickly cover her eyes and turn away from you and Javi. 

“Us?! What the hell are you doing here? Jesus, you ever heard of fucking knocking, Murph?!” Javi groaned, shuffling his pants back up and fixing his hair before helping you off the counter, trying your best to hide your beet red, embarrassed face. 

“I forgot my wallet! Forgive me for thinkin’ you two would keep your hands off each other for long enough to let me come pick it up in peace.” Steve frowned, raising up his hands in defense. 

“I’m sorry! I told him to call you to let you know he was coming to pick it up, but he seemed to think it wasn’t a big deal.” Connie scolded, giving Steve a forceful nudge of her elbow before finally turning back around to face you and Javi, knowing you were at least halfway decent. “God, I love you, but you are an idiot.” 

“You can say that again…” You snickered under your breath, just loud enough to make Javi and Connie join in your laughter, leaving Steve with his arms crossed over his chest, rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

“Hey, listen. Call me what you want, but I don’t think you’ll be callin’ me an idiot when you need me to come babysit your 47 kids so the two of you can get some…” He paused gesturing to you and Javi’s disheveled state, “... time to yourselves. Like I said earlier, y’all gotta lot of rooms to fill, and I don’t think you’re gonna have any problem doin’ it.” 

And for as much as you wanted to give Steve the ten pounds of shit he deserved, as you looked up at Javi standing next to you, you couldn’t really even bring yourself to be mad. Because in the end, the only thing that mattered was him- the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The one who was your future, the one who stood with you through every twist and turn, the one who was your home. What started as a day that had you questioning everything had turned into one that had never made you feel more assured. You knew that Javier Peña loved you more than life itself, and you knew that you were so lucky to spend the rest of your life getting to prove to him over and over that you loved him just as much. 

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #javier peña #javi peña x reader #javi pena #javier pena #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena fic #javier pena fluff #javier pena imagine #javier pena narcos #javier pena smut #javier pena x f!reader #javier pena x female reader #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña smut #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña x female reader #javier peña x you #javier peña x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal narcos #pedro pascal character #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pascalispunk #pedro pascal fandom

[wannab-urs]

Title: Something Sweet

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: You’re new to the team in Colombia and all alone on your birthday. Your partner, Javier Peña, decides to do something sweet for you. 

Tags: Set vaguely during season 1 before Javi gets extra angsty, canon compliant-ish, reader feeling lonely, sassy!reader, flirty!javi, alcohol (wine), brief mention of a gun bc I feel like a DEA agent wouldn’t just answer the door all willy nilly, kissing, javi asking for consent, but y’all did share a bottle of wine, kissing, fingering f receiving, marking, unprotected PinV, cuddling. I always write angsty Javi, but this is FLUFF, so sorry if it’s OOC, I’m slightly out of my element here. 

WC: 2107

A/N: This fic is a birthday gift for @psychedelic-ink. Sil, you’re a wonderful friend and you do so much for the Pedro Pascal Fandom community on top of being an incredible writer. So, with some help from @pedrorascal with the beautiful gifs, I schemed up a little fic for you. I hope you love it! Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays AHHHH. 

Moving to a new country two weeks before your birthday, which also happens to be Christmas Eve, is not ideal. You moved to Colombia from Miami after a promotion, earning a spot on the elite team working to catch Pablo Escobar. 

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind, trying to catch up on all the facts of the case. You have to learn every sicario by sight and all of their names, aliases, and frequent hang outs. You have to learn about everything Escobar has done in Colombia, all the cartels and how they connect, it’s all extremely exhausting and time consuming. 

Which is why you have no friends yet, unless you count your new partners Javier Peña and Steve Murphy. Which you don’t. You barely know them, and from what you’ve seen so far, Peña is an asshole. Steve might be okay, but you just haven’t had time to get to know him yet. 

You take off your windbreaker and hang it on the back of your chair. It’s kind of ridiculous that you have to work on Christmas Eve, but there’s no rest for the wicked and therefore no rest for you either. You sit down and open the first file on your desk, immediately getting down to business without so much as a greeting for your partners. 

A couple hours into the work day, a shadow darkens your desk. “What do you want, Peña?” 

“God damn, hermosa. Touchy today? I brought you a coffee.” Peña sets the cup of lukewarm black slop on your desk and leans further into your space, peeking at the files you’re reading. 

“Yes, actually. Did you need something or did you just come over here to bother me?” 

“I just came over here to compliment your nails, actually,” he takes your hand in his, inspecting your nails, and then looks into your eyes. “I like the color. Suits you.” 

You feel heat rise to your cheeks. Peña is cute. Gorgeous, really, but you don’t make a habit of flirting with your coworkers. “Thanks… They were my birthday gift to myself.” You tug your hand away from him and place it in your lap. 

“It’s your birthday?” He asks, still leaning much too far into your personal space. You nod and look back down at the file. 

“I have to get back to work now,” you almost whisper to him, all your bitter snark from earlier replaced by a sense of melancholy. There’s not a soul in this entire country who knows it’s your birthday today. Aside from Javier, now, you guess. Javier lingers for another moment before pushing off your desk and leaving you to your work. 

You’re starting to pack up for the day when Peña comes up to your desk again, sitting on the corner. 

 “So what are your plans tonight?” he asks. 

“Huh?” You don’t have any plans. A phone call from your friend in Miami and a bottle of Chilean wine maybe. 

“Your plans? For your birthday?” 

“Oh. I don’t have any. Don’t really know anyone yet so…” you trail off. You feel kind of pathetic, even though you know it’s completely reasonable to not have a group of friends yet. 

“Me and Murphy could take you out?” 

“Oh um–”

“Actually, Jav,”  Steve calls out from his desk. “Me and Connie have plans tonight. Christmas Eve and all,” he gives you an apologetic look. 

“It’s fine really. I’m gonna have a nice relaxing night in. Thanks though.” You put on the best smile you can and head for the door. 

You hang up the phone after your short call with your friend. It’s expensive to call long distance, but she stayed on with you as long as she could. She told you all about her new boyfriend and that everyone had wished you a Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays. You’re grateful she didn’t ask about your job or your love life. 

As you pop the cork on a bottle of wine, there’s a knock on your door. You stare at the door questioningly, as if it will tell you who’s there. Who on earth could be knocking at your door at 8pm on Christmas Eve? 

You grab your gun and sneak over to the door, peeking through the peephole. Broad shoulders and a dark head of hair are all you can make out through the tiny lens. Javier? You set your gun on the side table and pull open the door. 

“Peña? What are you doing here?” 

He turns around and holds his hands out to you. “Brought you something.” He’s holding a birthday cake, clearly store bought, decorated with a generic “Feliz cumpleaños” scrawled on top. A bright smile lights up your face. 

“Oh Javi, you didn’t have to!” 

“I wanted to. You gonna invite me in for some cake?” He raises his eyebrows at you. 

“Oh! Yeah sure. Come in!” You step to the side to let him through and close and lock the door behind him. “Sorry about the mess. I’m not fully unpacked yet.” 

“I’ve been here for 7 years and I’m not fully unpacked. It’s fine.” Javi reassures you. He sets the cake down on your kitchen counter and starts rifling around for plates and silverware. 

“I can do that,” you try to move him out of the way, but he’s having none of it. 

“No, it’s your birthday. Let me. You pour yourself a glass of wine and go sit on the couch.” 

“Fine… thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

You grab a couple glasses and the bottle of wine and carry it to the living room with you. You’re kind of shocked he’s here. He’s always flirty in the office, but he’s like that with everyone. He’s not what you’d call friendly otherwise. Maybe he just feels bad for you. 

Javier drops down onto the couch beside you holding two plates with hefty slices of chocolate cake. He hands you one of the plates and a fork. “Happy birthday. I’m not going to make you do the whole candle thing.”

“Thank you, Javier. This is really, really nice.” You feel like you might cry. It’s just cake, but you felt so alone, and it’s like he really saw you. He saw through whatever exterior shell you were wearing and decided to try to make your day better. 

“Just Javi is fine. And it’s not a big deal, really. You deserve something sweet on your birthday,” he says looking down at the cake in his hands.

“It is to me. A big deal, I mean,” you say softly before taking a bite of the cake. It’s nothing special, just a plain chocolate cake, but it means so much to you. 

You and Javier, Javi, chat about where you’re from and how you came to work for the DEA. You tell him about living in Miami, about the promotion that brought you here. You finish the bottle of wine and a couple more pieces of cake and the conversation doesn’t stop for a long time.

Late in the evening, you finish a story about your 6th birthday, one your aunt always told to the whole family every single year at your birthday dinner. He’s sitting close to you, his thigh pressed against yours despite there being plenty of room on the couch to sit without touching. It makes your heart flutter a little. 

You don’t know if it’s the wine or what, but the little crush you have on him is getting pretty hard to ignore. Javi smirks at you, reaches up, and brushes his thumb over the corner of your lip. 

“Got a little icing there, cariño,” he says, his voice lower and huskier than it has been all night. He brings the icing smeared thumb to his mouth and sucks it between his lips. Your eyes track the movement, pupils blowing wide. He really is pretty. 

You feel yourself lean in toward him, almost unconsciously chasing that thumb to his mouth. He brings his hand up to your cheek and searches your eyes for a moment. He must see what he was looking for because he pulls you closer and presses his lips to yours. 

His lips are soft, warm, gentle on yours. You grab his face in your hands, not wanting him to pull away yet. He slips his tongue along the seam of your lips and you part them, letting him in. You’re not sure who makes the move, but slowly, your back is lowered to the couch, Javi a comfortable weight on top of you. Your hands explore his broad shoulders, the muscles of his back, his trim waist, as he plunders your mouth with his tongue. 

“Can I touch you?” He rasps against your lips. 

“You already are,” you giggle. “Sorry. Yes, Javi.” 

He huffs a laugh into your mouth and slips a hand into your lounge pants, fingers finding your dripping seam. “Wet for me already, hermosa?” 

Your cheeks heat up in slight embarrassment, but you nod. You’re soaked just from kissing him. By the feel of him against your thigh, he’s not better off. He pushes two fingers inside you and presses his lips back to yours. You gasp into his mouth, hands fisting in the back of his shirt. 

His fingers immediately find the spongy spot deep in your core. He curls them, dragging the pads of his fingers along your g-spot with every pump of them inside you. You cling tightly to him, burying your face in his shoulder. 

“Come for me, baby.” 

Your body responds to his command instantly, the tension in your belly releasing into waves of pleasure. Your cunt flutters around his fingers and you whine into his neck as he works you through it. You collapse back onto the couch, and he wastes no time dragging your pants off you. 

You hear the clink of his belt opening, the sound of it hitting the floor. You sit up on your elbows to watch him as he strips off the rest of his clothes. You bite your lip, drinking in the sight of the gorgeous man before you. 

He takes your hands in his and pulls you to your feet before pulling your tank top off you. “Shit, hermosa,” he whispers almost reverently as he takes one of your tits in his large hand, rolling the nipple between two fingers. “Gorgeous.” 

 He kisses you again, wrapping his strong arms around your body and pushing his chest flush with yours. “Bedroom, cariño?” 

You walk him back to your room, barely separating your lips from his for the entire journey. You fall back on your bed and he follows, settling between your legs. His lips drag down your jaw line to your neck as he lines himself up with your entrance. Javi sucks a mark just below your collarbone as he slowly thrusts inside you. 

You wrap your legs around his hips and pull him deeper into you, whining at the stretch. “Fuck, Javi.” 

“Working on it, cariño,” he teases as he bottoms out inside you. He pushes himself up on his elbows and stares into your eyes as he pulls out and thrusts back in smoothly. Your mouth falls open, a little huff spilling out as he bottoms out again. He feels so fucking good inside you. 

Javi sets a steady pace, thrusting into you hard and slow, eyes never leaving yours. When your eyes flutter shut and your back starts to arch in pleasure, he slips his arm under your back, pulling your hips higher on his thighs. The new angle is everything. You gasp out a moan every time his cock punches deep inside you.

Javi is everything in this moment. Your world narrowed to the feeling of his cock pounding into you at that same maddeningly slow, hard rhythm. You feel yourself tightening around him, feel a coil winding in your belly tighter and tighter. 

Javi’s lips find yours again with a kiss that’s more a clash of teeth and tongues than anything as you come hard on his cock. Javi lets out a low groan into your mouth at the way you squeeze him. He thrusts into you a few more times, fucking you through your high, before he quickly pulls out and spills all over your belly. 

He rests his forehead on yours for a moment, catching his breath. He kisses you deeply one more time before falling to the bed beside you. Javi pulls you into his arms, not paying any mind to the mess he made on your stomach. He holds you close, kissing the top of your head. 

“Happy Birthday, cariño.”

#Javier Peña #Javier Peña fics #Javier Peña fanfiction #Javier Peña x reader #Javier Peña x you #Javi Peña #Javi Peña fics #Javi Peña fanfiction #Javi Peña x reader #Javi Peña x you #Javi P #Javi P fics #Javi P fanfiction #Javi P x reader #Javi P x you #Narcos #Narcos fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedrostories

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

ok, javi g fic done.

ive already started to work on part 2 of babysitter (din djarin) but im not liking it one bit :'( still i have a little idea on what i want it to lead to. and like i said, its gonna be a bit angsty (though also fluffy andmaybeabitsmutty, luckily for yall hehe).

im thinking way too much about the frankie au someone help me im obsessed. i wanna post it before the din djarin fic and the marcus moreno fic but i cant bc i havent even started writing it HAHAHAHA.

anyway, ill tell you more when i know more lol im so troubled with myself. if you have any requests on something you want me to write you can send me an anon message (and non-anon too i guess) and ill see if it helps me with this goddamn (nottoomuchofan)artblock.

take care <3

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x male reader #pedro pascal characters

[keeper0fthestars]

GASP! Girl please 😩

AHahaha @mourningbirds1 you caught that tag did you? 😌 Thank you for the ask!! 💕 I’m so happy you want to know about the nonsense that goes on in my head.

Girl listen I have very loose thot here - a friends to lovers situation that starts with Javi being your neighbour - and it all stemmed from a prompt that @yespolkadotkitty sent me a while ago…

“I can’t keep kissing strangers in the dark and pretending they’re you”

——

You're still not sure what he does for a living but his hours are long and the walls are thin and you have some idea what he does to decompress because it’s not that much different than your own coping strategies and over the next few months, an easy friendship evolves.

There was the night he found himself sitting at your kitchen table in an adrenaline induced haze after a bust gone wrong and with whiskey on his breath he’s apologizing for dripping blood on your floor. You just wave it off and press a fresh glass into his good hand. You know better than to notice the dark circles under his eyes or ask what the other guy looks like. He watches your gentle fingers at work cleaning and bandaging the gash on his knuckles with smooth ease, like you’ve done this a thousand times. So mesmerized by your soothing touch, he forgets the whiskey altogether until he sees you reach for his hand. His brain takes too long to realize you’re reaching for the booze, not his hand. You down it in one gulp and refill the glass for him, ripping open a box of butterfly stitches. His eyes are on the smudge of lipstick on the edge of his glass, the shape of your bottom lip left behind. Dregs of whiskey blur down the side and he wants to taste it.

And he’s not talking about the whiskey.

You give him a frozen bag of peas to help the swelling over his cheekbone and he does as he’s told, wondering why your first aid stash contains eight bottles of hemostatic agent, and is that fishing line… wondering how you know what kind of whiskey he drinks, wondering why you care about him like this.

Fast forward a couple more weeks…

He knows you had a date tonight with that accountant again. Fourth date this month if he was counting. which he’s not.

So he definitely wasn’t expecting to hear you climbing the stairs by yourself at such an early hour.

And he has no right to the sheer relief that settles over him. But the pang of his misguided heart is getting harder to ignore when he’s wishing it was his fourth date with you instead, so he washes the sting of it down with something equally harsh. He doesn’t worry about you when you go out no matter how plain and boring your dates are with their polo shirts and obnoxiously expensive shoes (but the pile of cigarette butts in the ashtray on his coffee table tell a different story)

Then he hears your apartment door slam louder than usual. judging by your cursing, cupboard doors echoing in your kitchen, the evening didn’t go well and he’s off his couch and across the hall without even realizing it.

You’re standing there on the other side of the threshold, barefoot, in a dress he’s never seen before, the glass in your hand is half full and it’s not the cheap stuff. The furious storm in your eyes had already spilled over at some point and smeared your mascara.

There’s a special place in hell for anyone that makes you cry, he thinks, eyes darting across your features, sweeping for any other indicator that might require a little interference in a certain accountant’s affairs. Javi comes up short and he can’t decide if that’s good for him or not.

Once again his chest floods with the overwhelming need to protect you like you’re his.

He steps into your space, and it’s all the coaxing you need. Your face crumbles and he slips the glass from your hand, setting it down on the tiny hall table before gathering you in his arms, soothing your shuddering breaths against his chest.

you don’t see the seething rage darkening his eyes, trembling just underneath the surface.

‘What did he do?’

‘He had a wife.’

——

✨ Read the next drabble in this series here!

In conclusion this is nothing but pure self indulgence where javi desperately wants to be the man to show you that you deserve better, to treat you the way you deserve to be treated 😌

#💌 #javier peña #tw alcohol #neighbour!javi vibes #tw blood #pedro pascal #I’ve been on my Javi feels lately and this was the result #there’s some backstory and a bit more of this but it’s mostly still bare bones at this point #and it’s a little angsty bc it’s Javi #I just need the muse to start cooperating 😅 #*mine: writing #clare tag 🧸

[littlepadika]

Ok I think I have one, but it’s a little angsty… can you tell me about Javi & Sunshine, and the day the manager tells her that her apartment is finally fixed? 🥺

noooo CLAIRE i hate torturing Javi but here we goooo!!!! Sometimes Javi just needs that push 🥰 (thank you for being patient bc it's been a HOT minute since you sent this in ❤️☀️)

Javi's Sunshine (3) l Javier Peña x f!Reader

part one, part two

Warnings: f!reader, YEARNING, jealous Javi, mild dirty thoughts, implied age gap

AN: This fic has been my yearning cliffhanger experiment. I hope you enjoy!!

Javi was going to tell you. He just didn't get to it yesterday because he got home late and you were flitting around him and being so sweet he just forgot. But he was going to tell you.

He was not supposed to get the news, but the landlord called his work number after you weren't answering your phone. Apparently you had listed Javi as an emergency contact. He remembers ducking his head and smiling down at his paperwork when he heard that. Hope threatening to burn him up. Yet what the landlord said next dumped icy water over that tiny flame. Your apartment was fixed. You could leave.

For a second, just one, he thought of not telling you. Of letting whatever this was continue forever. Allow the flimsy excuse of your apartment being under construction protect him a little longer. However, he knew he couldn't do that to you. You had bills to pay. A life to get on with.

He made sure to get off work at a reasonable time today since this was the last night he would probably spend with you he didn't want to waste a second. He planned on telling you immediately, staying upbeat about it and unbothered. He'd help you pack and get settled and laugh about what a crazy time it had been. Brooding would come later. With his precious sunshine gone he would still have the memory of the warmth. He selfishly hoped you'd move out slowly, taking a few things at a time back and forth. That way he'd still see you even though it wouldn't be the same.

When Javi got to the door, he braced himself to outright tell you before he could forget or have second thoughts.

"Hermosa there's something...wow." His eyes widened when he saw you standing in the sunlight wearing a new dress. He blinked rapidly, letting his eyes trace up and down your figure.

"Do I look okay?" You twirled making the skirt of your new dress fly up slightly.

"Y-yeah. You look tan hermosa." Javi's mouth ran dry. He'd always managed to hide his arousal and keep things in control but he'd never seen you so openly asking for his approval. He felt the urge to run for the bathroom before he'd do something even more brash like kiss you. "What's uh- what's the occasion?" He lifted his chest hoping it was for him.

"Someone asked me on a date!"

"Oh." Javi clenched his fists as his chest caved in. Pain shot through his heart to his stomach at your words. "Who?"

"A boy from my class." You shrugged. "I don't know him very well but... it should be fun, right?" You smiled, though nerves made it dimmer. Truth was you didn't want to date anyone now that you met Javi. It was ironic because you never had much luck in love and when you moved in with Javi you became downright hopeless. However, something about being around him lit you up and drew attention to you. Just not the attention of the person you wanted most.

He looked cute in a tight yellow button down and jeans. However, there were dark circles under his eyes like he was up all night worrying about something. You wanted to mention something about it this morning but he barely said two words to you before bolting out the door. Now your confusion only increased when Javi stomped away without answering your question. Bad day at work? You flinched as the door slammed.

"J-Javi?" You probably should give him some privacy but at this point you were friends and friends don't let each other be angry. You knew he wasn't mad at you, he seemed to be mad at himself.

"What?" He answered gruffly.

"I was hoping we could hang out before I left." You chewed your lip, twisting your soft dress in your fingers. "I- I missed you." You traced your fingers over his bedroom door knob, wishing it was his him you were touching instead. Pathetic as it was, you did miss him dearly even though you saw him every day. This fantasy of boyfriend Javi that you had been building up in your mind was so real that sometimes he became a ghost when the real Javi was around. You mourned while you loved. It was a strange feeling.

"In a minute." Javi answered. He was glaring daggers at his pillow, trying to get ahold of his emotions. Sadness made him angry. He'd rather punch a wall than cry but right now he felt like doing both. And at the same time he knew he was acting like an asshole which just made him more upset because it was the last thing you deserved.

You were going on a date. Someone else was going to get to hold you and make you laugh. He landed an angry punch on his mattress, deciding against the wall. He yanked off his tie and ran his hands over his face. He needed to pull himself together. Enjoy what time he had left.

"Hermosa there's something I need to tell you." Javi opened the door looking around for you. "Hermosa?"

"In here!" You called from the kitchen. "Look at this!"

Javi groaned quietly. You were making this so hard!

"Look!" You said again once he was closer. You were pointing at a painting above the sink. It was a landscape painting of his home in Texas. He'd brought it to Colombia special. Unfortunately when the pipe burst it had gotten damaged by the leaking water.

"How did you fix it?" His gloom momentarily cleared.

"I found someone who restores paintings." You grinned up at him. He walked over to the counter next to you so he could examine it up close.

You unconsciously leaned towards him, inhaling his rich cologne greedily. You knew he was talking to you, not because you were paying any attention, but because you saw his neck moving with every word. You saw blood thrumming through his veins with his excitement. You saw his lips moving, cupping each word of praise for you. His thick fingers traced over the glass covering the picture looking for a sign of where it was fixed. You finally catch what he's saying when he turns to you.

"You shouldn't have. I mean- I'm glad you did but let me pay you for this." He placed his hands over your shoulders and gave them a squeeze.

"Just say thank you, Javi." You patted his arm with a smile.

"Thank you, hermosa." He laughs lowly, eyes flicking down to your lips.

"So... what did you need to tell me?" You looked up at him expectantly. Your mind went immediately and childishly to some big revelation that Javi did care for you romantically. That he wanted you.

"Uh-" It was like a switch flipped. He dropped his hands, shoving. them in his back pocket. "I don't remember."

"You're not... mad at me are you?"

"What? Of course not." Javi tensed. "It's nothing."

"Okay." You pursed your lips sending him a skeptical look before going to finish getting ready. You picked up your sweater from your bed and went to the bathroom to apply some lip gloss.

"So... who is this guy anyways?" Javi followed you, lingering in the doorway. He tried to keep his tone light though he was seething with jealousy. Especially when you were putting on lipgloss that he didn't get to taste.

"I told you. He's in my class." You met his eyes in the mirror. Why was he acting so weird? He was clearly interested in details but was pretending not to be.

"He seems nice. Smart." You didn't know what else to say. It seemed unethical to go on a date with a person you had no interest in. That was just cruel but at this point you had to succumb to the reality that Javi didn't feel that way for you.

"Why is he asking you out now? What changed?"

"I don't know maybe he always liked me and he only now got the courage to ask me out." You shrugged, capping your lip gloss. The meaning of your words was not lost on Javi who crossed his arms.

"So you like him?" Javi sounded almost accusatory making you mirror his position and cross your arms.

"I don't know. I mean- not right now but maybe I will once I get to know him." You watch his eyes go stormy. Maybe Javi was jealous? You hoped. You prayed. You dreamed. You'd never dare hurt Javi's feelings intentionally. He shouldn't require jealousy to motivate him. But you hoped it did.

"I just don't want to see you hurt, hermosa." Javi grumbled. "Guys like that-you never know. This is Colombia. He may be after something."

"Not everyone has a motive, Javi." You felt your anger spike at his almost paternal tone. Were you that hopeless in his eyes that no one could truly be attracted to you.

"He likes me because i'm attractive and nice and- and even if you can't see that-well he does." You do all but stomp your foot before blowing past him.

"I'm going to wait for him outside!" You yelled from the door, trying to blink tears away from your eyes. All you wanted was to be seen as an equal in Javi's eyes. A partner. A companion. But you were sure now that he only saw you as a little girl whose feelings he had to protect. Maybe there was nothing to be gained from staying. here any more.

Javi felt your glare like a knife in his heart. His beautiful little sunshine stinging him. Of course he could see how wonderful you were. Anyone would want to date you that wasn't what he was getting at. Jealousy controlled his words. All he wanted to find out was if he still had any chance. He flinched as he heard the door slam.

And he still hasn't told you. Fuck.

Javi paced and drank while you were gone, counting the minutes that passed and worrying about everything that could be going wrong. Or worse right. Would you make that lucky bastard feel as special as you made Javi feel? Would you sway nervously, playing with that too short dress? Would you even come home to him or would you go home with someone else? He clutched his stomach, feeling sick and not just because you weren't here to make sure he ate. The unselfish part of Javi wanted you to be happy but a much louder possessive roar countered that you seemed perfectly happy with him. But maybe you weren't. Maybe you weren't happy as you could be because Javi hadn't stepped up the way he longed to.

That was the vulnerable crux of everything. His whole life he's never been great at doing more than one thing at the same time. Life was a series of binary choices. Work or Marriage. Work or Family. But what was the alternative here? Work or you? No. He knew it was really ego or you? He'd give it up, all the cross roads, just to orbit around your warmth for the rest of his days. If only he could say it.

He threw his jealousy and frustration behind cleaning. Javi was a neat person solely because of how minimal he kept his space but he did enjoy having everything clean and orderly. He chided himself again for not thanking you more for the cleaning you did. Most surfaces were spotless so he turned his attention to the cobwebs and dust bunnies in the hard to reach places. He paused outside your room. He had never been in there before. He circled his fingers around the knob, debating. Snooping was wrong but he just wanted to feel close to you right now. And even from here he could smell you.

He pushed open the door, leaving the broom in the hall. Your sweet scent hit him like a ton of bricks, tugging on his stomach. He smiled softly at your tangled up sheets and blankets and pile of clothes on your desk chair. It was endearing how your room was cluttered and messy but you kept his space so clean. He choked on air when he noticed your underwear laid out on the bed from the laundry, thin and pink. He clasped his hands in front of him in an effort not to reach out and explore further. You had your desk pushed up to the wall though he had never known you to use it. You always studied in the living room. WIth him. He noticed a big yellow envelope sitting on top. From the landlord? Javi picked the letter up, scanning the top line.

Renovations complete. It is safe to return...

His heart thudded against his chest. He turned over the envelope searching for the date. Two days ago. You had found out before him! Javi's mind raced with the implications of this and a grin slowly spread over his face. If you knew and didn't say... maybe you wanted to stay.

He clutched his chest. It was as if his heart was trying to run to you now, holding up this paper triumphantly as proof that you loved him. You fucking idiot. She does like you.

He put the note back on your desk and jogged back to the window to see if you were back. The lucky son of a bitch who was taking you drove an old white mustang. A total poser, Javi sneered internally. He scanned the street. No sign of it. Adrenaline danced in his veins and he could hardly stand still. Doubts gnawed at him but it didn't seem to pierce the core of his hope the way it normally did.

Was he so insecure that he needed to know you liked him before he could admit it himself? He was older and more damaged than you. There were heavy things in his life that made him walk with his head down. So yes, he needed you to one last time, shine on him.

Hermosa, please come home.

~~~~~~~~~

My masterlist

Permanent taglist: @ajeff855 @what-iwish-you-knew @kirsteng42 @fan-of-encouragement @sleep-tight1 @pascalisfairyy @ceniington, @prettypedros 🧁, @pascal-rascal424 @axshadows @prideandpascal @frenchyjuju @pedrosmustache @blackmarketmummy @idreamofboobear @pretty-brown-eyess @persephones-garden @javierpinme @mylittlesenaar @bellaorisa @elinedjarin @beskarboobs @beskar-candy @dindjarinneedsahug @anaaaispunk @headinthestarz @beskarprincessjenny @nicolethered @takochansugoi @heythere-mel @petersunderoos96 @theherothesavior @disasterhann @deadhumourist @dihra-vesa @liviiii98 @lafresamilk @Marstheplanet @donnaa @oceanablue @iwishtobeastorm @bluevxnus @phnyx @greeneyedblondie44 @mylovelycomandante @solemnlyswearss @safe-teycar @jitterbugs927

Javi Taglist: @3rdfloorviews @goddessofsprings @dobbyjen @mamacitapascal @hnt-escape

#javier peña #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña x you #javier peña x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #claire bear #ask padika #narcos fanfiction #javi's sunshine

[loversandantiheroes]

One of these days I want to see/write a Frankie fic where something comes up that forces him into more of the hardened-protector mode and he orders the reader to leave/turn around/don’t look because of what he’s about to do, defensive and sharp and already having assessed the situation and he WILL handle it, but the ruthless efficiency, the WAY in which he does it is not something he wants his significant other to see. He doesn’t want them to see this, and he’s not asking when he tells them not to watch.

On that note tbh I could see that same scenario with other Pedro characters, Javi or Whiskey or Mando all being good options as far as that’s concerned.

But just the idea of him not wanting them to know what he’s capable of when it comes down to it because he’s aware of the dangers of his occupation/former occupation, he’s aware of some of the things he’s had to do, and he really, really doesn’t want you to know it. He doesn’t want you thinking of how dangerous he is. What else he’s had to do in his life. What his hands are capable of. He /needs/ for there to be a distinct separation of those facets of himself. He /will/ keep you safe and part of that means ensuring you’re not around for when he is not the safe one

Oh, nonny, this is an angsty, angsty can of worms.  I might float back around to this for Frankie when I have a little more time to elaborate, bc this is definitely something that deserves its own fic you are 110% correct on this (and you may have given me some thoughts to add to an upcoming chapter of another thing. so thank you kindly for that), but in the meantime have some short takes.  Mentions of blood and violence behind the cut.

For Whiskey it’s not so much that he’s afraid to let you see what he’s capable of.  When Whiskey’s committed to someone he is shockingly honest; he cannot stand lying to somebody he cares about.  So if it’s something he can tell you, he will tell you, no holds barred, unless you flat out tell him you can’t bear to hear it.  But the bottom line is that he never needs to be afraid of what you might find out about him, because that’s something he’s laid bare to you a long time ago.  You know who he is and what he’s done, the risks he takes.  What scares him is having that part of his job anywhere near you, especially when he can’t be there to protect you.  The thought of you being in danger on account of him is absolutely terrifying.  He’s already lost one love, he’s not about to lose another.  So you better believe that if the worst should happen and you’re in danger, he can and will do whatever is necessary to keep you safe.  And if he tells you to look away, it’s only because there are some things he knows are impossible to forget, and he’s more than willing to carry that for the both of you.

Din won’t even stop to think about it.  There’s certain risks inherent to being with him, being important to him, and he does his best to shield you from that whenever he can.  This usually translates to trying to keep you at a respectable distance in front of others.  Physical contact is off-limits in public, and he does his level best to feign a sort of aloofness to your presence.  It’s still harder than it ought to be, even under that damned helmet.  And sometimes he just isn’t that lucky. 

So the first time someone decides to make a name for themself and tries to take out the Mandalorian’s significantly less-armored partner first...things get messy.  Fighting is like breathing for him, not effortless, but natural.  It’s all necessity and instinct...until it isn’t.  He doesn’t know when efficiency blurred into brutality, all he knows is his beskar is more red than silver and you’re staring at him in absolute shock, the color draining out of your face as you stare down at the mess he’s made of your would-be attacker. 

For days after you flinch any time he moves too quickly, and that just about kills him.  He’s never been ashamed of what he does before, but the thought that you’re scared of him...that’s too much.  So he keeps his voice down, softens his steps, takes a couple lightweight jobs off Greef Karga just to give you some room to breathe without him so close.  He seeks you out when the job’s done and the bounties are stowed away in carbonite, more than relieved when you acknowledge his presence with a hesitant smile instead of a wince, dropping down onto the floor next to you and swearing on his life that he’ll never make you afraid again.

Javi is much the same.  The trouble with him is he doesn’t have the luxury of shame in the moment, but by god he has it in spades after.  He’s not proud of the things he’s done, the things he’s found himself willing to do when he felt like there were no better options.  He’ll spare you that side of himself for as long as he possibly can - he has a hard enough time looking at himself in the mirror some mornings, he doesn’t want to risk finding out whether or not you could.  If you’re in danger and there’s any chance of forethought, of planning, he’ll do his damnedest to keep the dirtiest work away from you. There might be blood grimed into his knuckles when he finally gets you back in his arms and the hot coppery taste of panic in his mouth when he kisses you, but you didn’t have to see what he did to keep you safe, and he can live with that.

But Frankie, oh dear boy.  This is his worst nightmare  His dangerous days are supposed to be behind him.  Door shut firm and locked.  Parts come out in little bursts sometimes, stories told around the fire when the boys are around and he’s a few beers in; door opening just a crack.  But even a crack is enough for you to get the sense of what lies beyond - the way his eyes will suddenly harden, the warmth seeping out of them.  You’re not about to play Bluebeard’s wife; if he needs that door to stay shut, then it stays shut, and he is grateful beyond words for that.  Frankie might be a little reckless in the right circumstances, but he’s level-headed and the first to try to de-escalate a situation.  It would take something truly awful to kick that door down, for his ever-spinning brain to run the calculations and decide that the clearest, quickest, cleanest course of action is going to be something so ugly.  If you’re in danger, Frankie’s going to act, there’s no question about it.  But if you’re in danger because of his mistakes?  If, say, some of the guys connected to Lorea have started tracking down the ones responsible for all their money going up in smoke?  Well, if the skeletons in his closet have rattled themselves to life and are coming after you, he’s going to snap.  There’s no reasoning with that, there’s no smoothing it over, that is the direct consequences of his actions threatening your life and he is not okay with any of it.  He will do absolutely anything he has to in order to keep you safe, but he will also do everything he can to keep you from seeing just how far he’ll go.  Letting you see that side of him, how quick he is to do the most unthinkable things, will absolutely destroy him.  But worst of all: it won’t stop him.

#Anonymous #the collected pedros #agent whiskey #jack whiskey daniels #din djarin #javier peña #frankie morales #this was an exceedingly good ask nonny #I definitely want to come back to this when I have more brain function

[unstoppableforcce]

“you love me, right?”

pairing: Javier Peña x reader

for 1k celebration ! for @tiffdawg !! thank you so much!! I had to do javi, I had to aim to make it sweet bc i made dark side so angsty lol

a/n: honestly, I don’t know when called id became a thing and I didn’t put that much research into this but bear with me

Javier couldn’t remember the last time he threw his keys into the bowl by the door and didn’t feel like it had been the world’s longest day.

Since the first day he got to Colombia, every day had been worse than the one that came before. Especially since you left.

Especially since he was the one who told you to go.

Colombia was just as bad for you as it was for him, taking down Escobar took its toll.

The first day he met you, fresh off the plane in the Bogota airport, he found your smile naive and childish. He had been in this war for six months at that point when you came in fresh faced and ready to try your hand at it.

But you had grown on him everyday since then.

Your optimism was the only light in the whole embassy, stakeouts were tolerable, nights out were distracting... you were a good constant to have.

A really good constant to have...

“Do you want another?”

Ten months in with you at his side and this was the first time he had seen your smile fall, and that night was meant to be a celebration. Yet, you sat back in your normal booth, head somewhere else until he nudged your arm with his elbow.

He repeated quickly as you turned back to him, “do you want another?”

“No, I uh, I think I’m okay.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I uh- I think I just need to head home...”

He quirked his head, angled in your direction.

It wasn’t necessarily early. Half the bar had already gone home but this was the kind of position the two of you often found yourselves in.

Alone together. Drinking your sorrows away in a busy Colombian bar until the early hours of the morning, or at least until either of you found someone to go home with.

So what was on your mind?

He was dancing around his words, he never did that with you. “Yeah, sure... do you want me to drive—“

“Yes.”

Your answer was quick.

And when the two of you got back to the building and he invited you in for one last drink, knowing there was something still on your mind, your answer was equally as speedy—

“Yes.”

But he knew something was wrong. You were too quiet, you were too sad for the occasion...

It just wasn’t his place to say anything. He grabbed a beer from the fridge for each of you, sat down next to you on the couch and just waited.

Waiting for an explanation he would have never expected...

“The ambassador recommended me for a job in Mexico...” your eyes refused to meet his, staring at the bottle in your hand. “I didn’t think it would go anywhere, you know...”

He knew that tone. He knew it better than most because he knew you better than most.

Bringing his bottle to his lips, he let you continue.

“It’s to head a task force... I didn’t think I’d get it, but I got the call earlier.”

“Heading a task force in Mexico?” He hummed, picking at the label. “Wow—“

“I haven’t accepted it yet—“

“You should.”

Your eyes snapped to his, or at least, where you expected his to be but his stare stayed trained on the bottle in his lap. “Really?”

“It’s a promotion, you deserve it.”

He couldn’t tell you that he didn’t want you to leave. He couldn’t tell you that you were more than just his partner in his mind, that he felt something more for you, that he didn’t want you to leave...

But when you asked again, “yeah?”

He lied.

He lifted his eyes from the label, connected his stare with yours and lied. It was the first time he ever lied to you.

He didn’t lie about informants, not about work or women. He didn’t lie when things looked bad; when he pressed his hands to your bullet wound and feared you passing out on him, he didn’t lie. He didn’t lie when things looked good; when he wrapped his arms around your waist in a happy hug to celebrate a win and you asked if he felt as good as you did, he didn’t lie.

But now, he looked you right in the eyes, kept his heart under lock and key, and lied.

“I think you should go.”

And every day since then, he had regretted it.

Hours spent at his desk without you? Unbearable. Nights spent with women who would never be you? Insatiable.

He never got to hold you the way he wanted to, he never got to know you the way he wanted to.

He made his way to the kitchen, pushing aside boxes of leftovers for the last bottle of beer. He needed to go grocery shopping, he needed to cook a meal every once in a while...

You used to remind him of that.

“I’m a grown man, I can buy my own groceries” he would mock you as he left his apartment, running into you coming in with bags in each arm.

You still tossed him a loaf of bread and bunch of bananas, “yeah, and one day, you’ll prove it to me.”

He figured if he really wanted to calm himself a grown man he would have to tell you how he felt. Grown men buy their own groceries, and they tell their partners how they feel before they move countries...

He owed you the truth.

It had been two months and every night when he got home, he grabbed the slip of paper you left for him with your new number and stared at it as he drank.

He owed you a phone call.

He just didn’t think you’d answer.

“Javi?”

He almost laughed at himself when he heard you pick on the other end, crumpling the slip of paper slightly.

“You knew it was me?” He taunted casually, trying to find his footing with you again.

It used to be so easy, why was his voice trembling at the mere thought you miles and miles away.

“Colombia area code...”

“Right, yeah.” He sighed, not sure if it was just hearing your voice but he felt lighter, much lighter. “Sorry it’s so late.”

“No, I’m glad you called, I miss you.”

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you— it wasn’t missed. You said you miss him, not you missed him. He didn’t know what that meant but it felt like it meant something...

“You know you’re on the phone with me, right, Sweetheart?” He missed you, he missed this fun with you, he missed all of you.

“Yes, Javi, I do.”

Did you feel the same? Is that why you told him you were leaving first, before everyone else in the office? Did you want him to talk you out of it? Did he want to talk you out of it?

He should’ve told you how he felt, now he was just silently holding you on the long distance call.

“How’s everything going down there?” You hummed out in place of his silence, clearly cooking your own dinner on the other end with the sounds of pans and utensils.

You used to invite him over, tell him you didn’t know how to cook for just one. Was that just an excuse to eat with him the same way he used to invite you over to drink, saying it was dangerous to drink alone?

“Things are fine, same as when you were here.” Just without you, so worse. “How are things up north?”

“Busy, I didn’t think anything could be busier than Colombia but it’s good work,” You continued to work in the background, talking over the sizzling of your pan. “You ever think about taking a trip? Im back and forth over the border pretty often, close to home for you.”

“As soon as things slow down here...”

You both laughed at that, the chuckle shuddering through his chest as he continued to drink his dinner.

He missed you. He wanted what was best for you, and deep down, he knew this promotion was nothing to scoff at, he wanted it for you. He just also wanted you.

He should have told you. That night. When you told him about the job, he should have told you what he felt.

He had to tell you know.

“There’s something I have to tell you...” he hated those words, he only got them out now because he knew they were better than the three little words that came next. He wasn’t sure he ever got them out before and meant it like he did now.

Not in Laredo. Not in Colombia.

“Mmhm?” You hummed, sucking on a spoon by the sounds of it.

He wanted to be there, or maybe he wanted you here. He just wanted to be with you, the country didn’t even matter.

“I meant to tell you the night you told me about the promotion but...” they were right there on his tongue, he wanted to say them but he couldn’t.

He stole another drink, taking in a deep breath and—

Your stove clicked off, “you love me, right?”

You knew. Of course you did. Promotions weren’t handed to bad detectives...

“I uh—“ he rubbed over his mustache with the back of his hand, feeling his cheeks heat up and you weren’t even there to pinch at them and call him cute like you did when you had too much to drink. “You knew?”

“I think I was hoping you would tell me, you know, that’s why I told you before anyone else, so you’d convince me to stay...” you mused, tapping something against a metal bowl, maybe opening up the oven from the sounds of it. “But thinking about it now, I think I’m glad you didn’t”

“I didn’t want to stop you from going... I meant what I said, you deserve the promotion.” He sighed, letting his head fall back against the fridge. “That wasn’t the right time.”

“But over the phone?” You chuckled, silencing the beeping of something in your kitchen. “That’s not why I’m glad you didn’t.”

“You wouldn’t have stayed?”

“That’s not what I mean...”

He took the final sip from the bottle and set it back on the counter in front of him, waiting for you to continue.

“Maybe I stay, maybe I don’t, I don’t know... you weren’t ready to love me then.” All sounds on your end stopped, just you and the phone connecting the two of you.

“I can’t really love you from here now either...”

That wasn’t what you meant though, he knew that.

You meant that the two of you, fighting to get Escobar in the Colombian heat, he wasn’t ready. He was seeing informants every other night, he was drinking himself to sleep every other night. And more than anything else, he was putting his life on the line every day and not caring what it took to get Escobar.

He wasn’t ready to love you. Or maybe, he was always ready to love you, he just wasn’t to be loved.

That’s why he didn’t tell you, that’s why he let you leave.

“You should take that trip, Javi, maybe when things die down, maybe when you are ready...” you hummed.

“I don’t know when we’ll get Escobar, I don’t know how long that’ll be.” He huffed, rubbing over his face and leaning forward onto the counter in front of him.

“It’s okay...” he heard your plate hit the counter, “I’ll be here.”

He needed you to be. Just the thought of having you one day could be enough to get him through the rest of this hell.

“You didn’t let me say it.” He added, a smirk slowly growing on your face, he wondered if you could hear it.

“Hmm?”

“That I love you, you said it for me...”

He could hear the smirk on your lips, “yeah I guess I did.”

“You’ll have to wait then.”

“Really?” It wasn’t a smirk he could hear, it was a real genuine smile. He wished he was there to see it.

“So I can say it in person.”

You’d wait. He’d wait.

No matter how many long days it took.

#javier peña x reader #sweet #1k celebration

[yeehawclem]

please please please i am BEGGING to see more of this. this, this is gorgeous. i love this au so goddamn much. also love ur pfp xo i will literally love anything about this au that u choose to share, but by my gabe loving nature yknow im asking for them gabe hcs flushed emoji

Ur in luck bc Gabe and the Garcia's are one of the most fleshed out people of the bunch in this au! This is just the tip of the iceberg!!

(I had a post already abt Gabe hc but I accidentally deleted it so we starting over djfbjdfbjd)

In freshman year he was p short, like 5'4, but he had a huge growth spurt by the time he graduated and he's now 6'3 (the tallest in the family!)

Was part of Stone Mountain highschool's varsity baseball team!! He was like. The best batter out there, hitting homerun after homerun. He was really popular and Gabe hated every second of it. He's a shy boy 👉🏼👈🏼 But when Javi got booted out the league the school also booted Gabe off the team too since they only wanted him for the fact that his uncle is Javier Garcia

So, his uncle fucked up his baseball career before it even began and he's a social pariah from there on. Thank god. But hey, at least he still has his friends, Duck, Sarah, Clem and *looks at smudged writing on hand* becker

Real shit tho his life kinda Angsty™, his birth mom abandoned him and his baby sister in the care of his teenaged uncle and grandparents (David was deployed at the time), his well-meaning-but-very-angry dad wants him to enlist in the army (a plan he does not want to pursue), the screaming matches between David and Javi. he's had a rough home life...

Which is why he's hardly home, mostly at Duck's or the skatepark or summin

He wants to be a nurse! He wants to help people, feel useful, he loves the feeling he gets when he knows he's made someone a little bit happier by possibly saving their life

So he's working himself to the bone studying to become a nurse. He so determined, probably the only good trait for being a garcia

Anyway, he and Clem are super close, even when she goes to Ericson's. They like to just lay down together and enjoy each other's company uwu

Plays guitar. Is a fan of metal and alternative rock, he knows a few licks, but he's only allowed to play it at Duck's or Becca's

Has a nice lil car, even if it is older than he is and he's kinda too big to fit but hey he got if for 800 bucks

It's a toyota camry and it's red

Has a pair of Gucci slides but it's only because Javi bought a pair for him when he was still rich

Plays Minecraft with Mari and his Dad on the weekends

There you have it!! Sorry this took so long, my brain scambled hdjxbdjc

#heheheheh #this took way too long #sorry dhdbdh #twdg Gabe #twdg headcanons #twdg modern au #twdg duck #twdg sarah #twdg becca #twdg clem #twdg david #twdg javi #gabentine #twdg #yerrr

[goldafterglow]

if ezra were a religious cult leader, you know he’d convince us all to join him. kevva waits, girl. shoot or post your ezra fic. just make a move.

oh he would absolutely. He gives of those charismatic leader vibes, like not-racist Charles Manson. And ik I wish I could just post it now😭 this is making me think about how I haven’t told y’all about my WIPs in a while so here we go, in no particular order I’m just spitballing lol:

Asks/Prompts that ✨inspire✨ me

Whiskey/Frankie headcanons someone requested

Some headcanons for the boyz (which I intend to be real fun like last time🥰)

Soft!Whiskey headcanons

A super cute super sweet very yearn-y Javi full length fic

MY CAT BABY anonymeow send me some absolutely adorable headcanons that I wanted to answer properly bc they were so softttt

A whiskey fic?? It might be a little shorter but the prompt was so cute I have to

A CARRILLO FIC (remember him?)

Mando headcanons

Personal (all tentative I am just 💀)

Part 2 of that angsty ass whiskey fic oopsies

Angsty Javi fic

Ezra fic? Abt a tree maybe?? Maybe not might keep that one between me and my boo she is special and writing is hard🥰

A super old idea abt Ezra and his journals??

An EVEN OLDER idea about?Ezra and dancing in the rain ??from when I ?first watched ??Prospect?

These are the main reason why it might take me a hot second to get to bible study and can also be interpreted as 13 reasons to unfollow me lmaoooo. I am also trying to get an ✨education ✨ and also I might get some asks/ideas that just rly inspire tf out of me and demand to be written immediately so in conclusion I’m a hot mess and I’m sorry

#UFJFJD I FEEL BAD IM SORRY THIS IS A LOT OF STUFF #and yeah im not very well organized wow im a hot mess gold lord #thank y’all for sticking with me 😭 #and anyways im still excited to be writing these!!! #lots of softness coming y’alls way apparently #and yeah updated will be a weee bit slower lol but ill still be p active on here i think #updates* #iris answers #iris’s wips #anonymous #AND DONT FEEL BAD I PROMISE I DONT FEEL PRESSURED OR ANYTHING #it makes me really happy when y’all get exicted to see my work :)))

[wannab-urs]

Javier Peña Masterlist

Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

in the a.m. - smut, angst | AO3

Type: series Status: in progress Summary: Between sleeping with informants and getting in bed with Los Pepes in the fight to bring down Escobar, Javier Peña also finds time to be with you. Wrestling with crippling self hatred, Javi tries and fails to keep his blood stained hands off of you. Based on some of my favorite Arctic Monkeys songs Tags: smoking, probably shit spanish, smut, angst, established situationship, emotionally unavailable!Javi, references to past arguments/past hookups because this has been an ongoing thing and I love to start in the middle of a story, loose fit series, trauma, probably, sad!Javi, self hating!Javi, Javi very briefly picks you up, Javi crying, Javi yelling, reader yelling, did I mention angst?

Perfecta, mi amor - smut | AO3

Type: one shot, request Word Count: 800 Summary: soft!dom Javi talks you through a facefucking blowjob. Tags: Soft dom!Javi P, sub!reader, Javi P talks you through it, blow job, deep throating, face fucking, excessive praise kink (obviously), reader is referred to in Spanish with feminine phrases so she's a lady this time. Reader has hair that Javi can interact with?

This Night Has Opened My Eyes - smut | AO3

Type: one shot Word Count: 900 Summary: You’ll do anything to avoid getting arrested (smut) Tags: Dubcon with a twist, reader is so very very into it, derogatory language (putita, little whore), bondage (handcuffs), rough sex (no prep). 

Something Sweet - fluff, smut | AO3

Type: one shot Word count: 2.1k Summary: You’re new to the team in Colombia and all alone on your birthday. Your partner, Javier Peña, decides to do something sweet for you. Tags: Set vaguely during season 1 before Javi gets extra angsty, canon compliant-ish, reader feeling lonely, sassy!reader, flirty!javi, alcohol (wine), brief mention of a gun bc I feel like a DEA agent wouldn’t just answer the door all willy nilly, kissing, javi asking for consent, but y’all did share a bottle of wine, kissing, fingering f receiving, marking, unprotected PinV, cuddling. I always write angsty Javi, but this is FLUFF, so sorry if it’s OOC, I’m slightly out of my element here.

Under Your Skin - smut | AO3

Type: one shot, pedrostories secret santa 23 Word Count: 3.5k Summary: You’ve worked on Chucho’s ranch since you were 15 years old, grew up with Javi, loved Javi… He comes back after nearly 20 years to find you hooking up with a certain former secret agent. He’s jealous, for sure, but of who? Tags: MMF, post season 3 of Narcos, AU where Jack gets kicked out of the Statesmen instead of burgered, Javi being bi and repressed, Jack being a bisexual slut, SMUT, MMF dynamics, oral (f receiving), javi being a dick, oral (m receiving), javi tries to hit jack, gay kissing (!!!), making out, face sitting, reader kinda gets used and likes it, nipple play, throat fucking, Eiffel tower moment, brief f masturbation, brief m masturbation, pet names (sugar, cowboy, baby, hermosa), truly unreasonable amounts of cursing i’m sorry i talk like this, and also unreasonable amounts of southern phrasing, again sorry I talk like this, unprotected PIV, creampie, cum eating, teasing Javi, actually 90% porn with like a little backstory, kind of enemies to lovers, they’re all ranch hands technically, also they’re all romantically into each other but also javi is dumb and jack can’t believe anyone would want him for more than sex haha oops :)

Bittersweet - smut, angst | AO3

Type: one shot Word count: 1.1k Summary: You're perfect to him, but he's not good enough for you and never could be. Tags: kind of derogatory mention of “whores,” SMUT, javier peña’s oral fixation, I’m imagining season 3 Javi but it’s up to you, reader is 20ish, wears a skirt, is referred to as sweet, and is able bodied. Soft and then mean!javi.

Savior Complex - angst, smut-ish | AO3

Type: drabble Word count: 570 Summary: Javi wants to take care of you, but you won’t let him Tags: angst, brief not quite smut, horny thoughts, food mention, toxic relationship, reader is wearing a skirt but is otherwise undescribed, javi grabs you in a nonsexual way, arguing.

#Javier Peña #Javier Peña fics #Javier Peña fanfiction #Javier Peña x reader #Javier Peña x you #Javi Peña #Javi Peña fics #Javi Peña fanfiction #Javi Peña x reader #Javi Peña x you #Javi P #Javi P fics #Javi P fanfiction #Javi P x reader #Javi P x you #Narcos fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #ppcu fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #javier peña masterlist #nav

[neoglows]

Kpop squad as Avatar: The Last Airbender

Also known as “My bitches as Avatar: The Last Airbender”.

If you haven’t seen it, it’s on Netflix, it’s amazing, go watch it or perish. If you have watched it, you’re perfect and I love you.

Okay, first things first. In the ATLA universe, the world is divided in 4 nations (fire, earth, air & water).

Some people are capable of “bending” one of the elements (controlling them). So there’s airbenders, waterbenders, earthbenders & firebenders.

One individual, the Avatar, is capable of bending all four elements and is responsible for maintaining harmony between the world's four nations.

There’s also people who can’t bend shit, which is the majority of people, but for the sake of our egos let’s pretend we would all be benders <3

Victoria

Earthbending

Earthbending, one of the four elemental bending arts, is the geokinetic ability to manipulate earth and rock in all their various forms.

The key to earthbending is utilizing neutral jing, which involves waiting and listening for the right moment to strike and, when that moment comes, acting decisively. In other words, earthbenders generally endure their enemies' attacks until the right opportunity to counterattack reveals itself.

Alternative skills

Kyoshi warrior fighting style. 

The Kyoshi Warriors are an order of female warriors named after Avatar Kyoshi, who founded them to protect her homeland, Kyoshi Island. Each village of the island had its own band of warriors.

Though their fighting style and clothing mimic those of Avatar Kyoshi, they seemingly did not implement any of the bending arts in their physical movements. They are clad in ornate, armored, green kimonos, metal headdresses, and white-faced makeup designed to intimidate opponents. The Kyoshi Warriors used metal fans as their main weapons like Avatar Kyoshi, but also implemented katanas and retractable shields.

Javi

Firebending

Firebending, one of the four elemental bending arts, is the pyrokinetic ability to control fire. It is unique among the bending arts, as it is the only one in which the performer can generate the element.

Fire is the element of power, consisting of overpowering force tempered by the unflinching will to accomplish tasks and desires. Firebending draws its power from the sun, and the first human firebenders derived their firebending techniques from the dragons.

Alternative skills

I think she would also have lightning generation skills.

Lightning generation is an advanced sub-skill within firebending that allows the user to produce lightning by separating the positive and negative energies internally, before directing it up through the arm and out the fingertips. The technique is extremely precise and deadly and is referred to by some as the "cold blooded fire".

Bárbara

Waterbending

Waterbending, one of the four elemental bending arts, is the hydrokinetic ability to control water in all of its various forms.

Water is the element of change. The moon is the source of power in waterbending, and the original waterbenders learned to bend by observing how the moon pushed and pulled the tides.  The fighting style of waterbending is mostly fluid and graceful, acting in concert with the environment.

Alternative skills

I think she would also have healing skills.

Healing is a sub-skill of waterbending that allows the bender to heal wounds; by using water as a catalyst, they can redirect energy paths around the body, concentrating more energy into a wounded area and allowing that area to heal at an accelerated rate

Nani

Airbending

Airbending, one of the four elemental bending arts, is the aerokinetic ability to control and manipulate air.

Air is the element of freedom. The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly problems and concerns; finding peace and freedom was the key to solving their difficulties in life. Airbenders continually sought spiritual enlightenment, and, as a result, all children born into the Air Nomads were benders. The first airbenders learned their art from the flying bison.

Alternative skills

Chi blocking is an ancient technique that has been practiced in secret for centuries.Blocking someone's chi renders the victim's muscles useless and temporarily disables a bender's abilities. It is mainly used by nonbenders as a way of self-defense or even to attack.

Characters

Javi

Sokka

"That's all I got. It's pretty much my whole identity. Sokka, the meat and sarcasm guy." - katara’s brother

- he doesn’t have bending abilities but he’s the strategist of the group

- very sarcastic and very done with the bender’s shit, but still supportive

- always making bad puns, thinks he’s the funniest person in the world

- protects his loved ones to death 

- tragic love life

Vic

Zuko

"I used to think this scar marked me – the mark of the banished prince, cursed to chase the Avatar forever. But lately, I've realized I'm free to determine my own destiny, even if I'll never be free of my mark."

- the honor guy

- son of the fire lord, tried to be the bad guy in the 1st season but he was very bad at it

- seemed dark but actually he was just emo, having issues w his family and struggling with his identity

- kinda socially awkward but u can’t help but love him

- angsty, went trough a lot of emotional issues but it just provoked him to lash out and isolate himself bc he wouldn’t let himself be the emotional bitch he actually is

- turns out to be a huge softie, who asks random frogs for advice and just wants friendship & acceptance

Bárbara

The Cabbage Man

"My cabbages!"

Okay I’m kidding

Katara

"I will never, ever turn my back on people who need me!"

- the last waterbender of the southern water tribe, sokka’s sister

- squad mom, but she’s of a very protective nature in general and will literally aggresively fight for anyone she thinks deserves it even if it’s a fucking stranger she’s never seen before

- the term INTENSITA was created in her honor

- has a lot of love in her heart and wants to believe the best in people

- very compassionate, warm and caring but also powerful and kind of a badass

- lots of inner strenght & resilience

- not so good at making jokes or letting go of the past tho

Nani

Toph

“I am the greatest earthbender in the world! Don’t you two dunderheads ever forget it!”

- runnaway rich kid, blind earthbending master, literal fucking legend at the age of 12

- very stubborn and direct

- values her independence a lot and hates being treated like a weak little girl

- confrontational and a sarcastic little shit

- quite carefree and adventurous though

- shows affection trough teasing and/or hitting but she really does love and is there for her friends always

- loathes being told what to do & wearing shoes, loves uncle iroh so yes i relate to her stfu

Characters interactions

Vic & Javi

Javi & Bárbara

Nani & Vic

Vic & Bárbara

Nani & Javi

Bárbara & Nani

#pe enes as #ik its not pe enes anymore but i have everything on that tag lmaoooo #PLEASE WATCH THIS IF U HAVEN'T I WANT ALL OF US TO NERD OVER THIS TGT #kpop squad as

[loversandantiheroes]

Seriously if I ever ever manage to rub two braincells together to make enough fire to write Javi it’s going to be some dumb, self-serving plus-size reader long game angsty bullshit where the reader’s a secretary at the embassy who of course hears about Javi long before she ever meets him ‘cause boy howdy people talk, so the first time he tries to pull the flirtation routine she shuts that shit down immediately - “If you want me to help you, I’ll help you.  I don’t need you to lead me on to get me to agree to help.”  Javi’s taken a bit aback but can at least respect the straightforwardness of it, meanwhile at heart the reader’s genuinely wanting to help but also can’t stand the idea of this man flirting with her and not meaning it (because good christ nobody ever does, let alone men like him), so ffs just shut up already.  But it’s Javi, and he always means it, at least a little.  And it just turns into this weird almost-but-not-quite-friendship thing where they settle into a groove of reliability with each other and Javi keeps his hands to himself and his glances discreet because if she doesn’t want that he’s not about to be a fucking creep.  Steve even probably tries to help because he knows his friend’s a dumbass who’s got an ass-backward way with women, but his attempt to nudge the reader towards the idea of Javi actually being into her backfires spectacularly into her thinking he’s just there to be an ass - “I am not stupid enough or deluded enough to think that man would ever be interested in somebody like me.”  Cut to s3 bc welcome to anguish town and he’s surprised to come back and find she’s still working there and honestly just relieved to see any friendly face and that bar scene in s3e1 just basically ends in some incredibly desperate (but incredibly good) sex and the reader that gets freaked out, thinking she’s fucked everything up now and he’s gonna bail because this was just a desperate pity fuck.  Meanwhile Javi’s freaking out because for like five whole minutes he’s the most calm and settled he’s been in literal fucking years, but she’s too quiet lying next to him and he’s afraid he’s fucked everything up between them by getting fucking needy and pushing the only friendship he’s got left in the fucking country.  And it just turns into them circling each other as the weeks go on and Javi’s new job eats away at what’s left of him and he wants to go to her but he’s sure she doesn’t want him and she sees him just crumbling and wants to go to him but he’s avoiding her and she’s sure she’s wrecked everything by giving in to this stupid crush she’s been nursing for years.  And it isn’t until one really really really bad day where at the end of it the office dark and quiet is practically deserted except he’s there and she’s there and before he can even think about it he’s right up close to her, wanting to just push in and kiss her and feel something warm and soft and sweet and good, but he can’t bridge that gap, he can’t, even if he needs it.  And she’s pulling away and his heart might as well be falling straight through the floor because he can’t hold onto anything, but it’s only far enough away to take his face in her hands and make him look at her and ask what’s wrong.  But he’s never been good at talking when it counts, worse at it when his heart’s in his throat like this, and she can’t stand to see him like this and the idiots just kind of crumble into each other by inches and finally fucking realize wait maybe I am wanted after all.

So yeah. Idiots to lovers: the only fucking way I’m gonna be able to write Javi/Reader.

#forgive me the wall of text #it's late and i'm tired #and I have many grumpy thoughts about this idea #javier peña #javi x reader #I don't know if I'll ever get to this properly #fuck knows I have too many things on my plate as it is #but if I DID do it #that's how I'd do it #because fuck knows I do not have it in me to write the sort of fic for Javi that *starts* with sex