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#and it’s going to hurt so BAD when the mental wall - magic or otherwise - is knocked down and he remembers
daylighteclipsed · 23 days ago
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cant stop thinking of brenner stranger things’s quote abt the nina opera in relation to sora kingdom hearts forgetting riku’s sacrifice/death I am fr mentally ill
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youryanderedaddy · a year ago
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I had a dream just now that might make a good story. So, I had a virus on my laptop which allowed a hacker to see everything I did on my computer and use my webcam. The hacker ends up falling in love with me after stalking me for a few months and pays for someone on the dark web to kidnap me. It works, and then I wake up tied up in the hacker's arm as he caresses and kisses me. That's pretty much it, good night! 🌙
Yo this is my kink 😳
Also I couldn't not write this for Saeran, ok.
Title: Stranger danger
Tw: nsfw - ish, female reader, masturbation, cyber stalking, hacking, mentions of dark web, very irresponsible online behavior, obsessive behavior, implied kidnapping
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You knew that this was a stupid idea. Lurking on the dark web with almost no protection other than the Tor browser and some free anti-virus program wasn't your best decision, but fuck it if it wasn't entertaining. You had always been drawn to the darker, scarier part of the human mind and this side of the internet proved quite interesting. Your friends always warned you about the dangers that came with looking up shady online searches and sites but everything had been quite peaceful so far. There weren't hackers or murderers on the dark web, the worst you had seen were people selling drugs and weapons for unreasonable prices, along with some questionable fetish porn and the typical popping ads.
Your favorite thing to do while online was chatting. Two weeks ago you had stumbled upon an unusual forum called "Scream buddies" where upon entering you were automatically connected to another random profile. The whole theme of the forum was discussing horror and mondo movies, shockumentaries and overall creepy stuff, your forte. The person you met on there shared a similar fascination with all things dark and gory which soon made talking to them the only thing you were looking forward upon opening the site.
You didn't know much about the guy behind the profile yet, except that he was a young man. His icon showed an eye so green it emited with the neon pigment and his username was just as mysterious - BlueRose7. You enjoyed chatting with him about your hobby but the thing you liked the most was undressing him little by little, metaphorically so, by getting pieces of information about his life. It started small - his favorite food, favorite book, favorite game, but the moment you tried digging deeper and asked whether he had siblings or not, the man simply disappeared for the next few days. You quickly realized just what type of topics you needed to avoid to keep your new friend from leaving. Family, childhood memories and work matters were out of the picture.
The stranger wasn't fair, not really. He didn't show you vulnerability and kept his secrecy while demanding to know everything there was to know about you. For the longest time you didn't want to answer just to stay on a equal footing, just to show him how frustrating it was, but there was something about the man that drew you in. He was magnetic, clever and witty, if a bit pessimistic and dark at times. You couldn't help telling him everything he wanted to hear - what your job was, whether you were single or not, all that jazz. In your defense, BlueRose7 actually listened to your stories, took your problems seriously and provided solutions, which despite being too extreme and overprotective at times (upon hearing that your bestfriend talked behind your back he offered to "take care" of her), were comforting. It was nice to have someone caring around even if you met him on a sketchy website.
Meanwhile your personal life wasn't going too great. You had to balance between attending college, working long shifts as a waitress and meeting your friends from time to time which was draining. On top of all there was a weird virus on your computer which resulted in the camera turning on and off and the most random times of the day - while you were studying, watching TV, or in some cases, fully naked and ready to take a bath. You didn't think much of it though, with all the illegal movies and games you downloaded along with the dark web lurking it was more than expected for your laptop to behave weirdly. You didn't even mention it to your friend from the IT major because you knew that he'd force you to delete Tor and put an end to your internet adventures.
One time you were particularly bored after several long lectures and you were laying in bed, the camera turned on once again. It was a hot afternoon and you were wearing boyshorts and a loose T- shirt with nothing underneath it, you were home alone so there was no need. The bright red spot was twinking like a recorder, the light reflecting in your eyes, when a silly little idea came to your mind. You slid your hand under your blouse and lifted the fabric up, exposing your breasts to the laptop, your nipples hardening due to the sudden coldness, becoming pink and stiff in seconds. You played with for a few minutes, pinching and pulling the buds gently, moaning softly into the pleasant sensation. Soon you could feel yourself getting wet, and slowly, teasingly, removed your shorts and panties. You smiled at the camera, biting your lip provocatively, imagining you were a camgirl performing for her desperate little fanboys and fangirls. The thought alone was enough to make you spread your legs wide and slip two fingers into your throbbing cunt, using the wetness to push deeper. You used your other hand to stroke your clit and whimpered wantonly, your face red, your neck sweaty and your heart pumping fast from the adrenaline. You were quickly reaching your orgasm and your mind wondered to the boy you were talking to in the forum. You wondered how he looked like, how his body was built, whether he was a sweet sensual lover or a rough mean one. Fucked up as it was, you pictured the man as one of your most loyal viewers, watching all of your streams with a fist around his thick vock and an excited grin on his face. He would comment things like "you look so beautiful like this" or perhaps even "pretty little slut" after tipping you enough to last you a week. Soon all the mental stimulation sent you over the edge and you came with a loud cry full of pleasure. Well, this felt good.
After your "performance" was over the camera was magically turned off, which may have caused some concerns if you weren't too busy feeling embarrassed and dirty about the unhinged fantasy you had just had, and with a person you knew nothing about. You managed to calm down though - it wasn't nothing more than a fun pastime, a naughty thought that would never become the reality. You would never actually meet BlueRose7, right? There was nothing to worry about, so you just went on with your day.
You had some dinner afterwards and decided to have an early night as you already felt full and tired. You put on your favoruite pajamas and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling until you fell into deep dreamless sleep.
You woke up due to a weird noise. You could hear someone's heavy breathing right next to your ear, someone's grabby hands were wrapped tightly against your body, trapping you between the wall and their hard chest. You had only a few seconds to scream before the intruder's palm covered your mouth.
"Shhh." The man whispered softly and stroked your hair like you were a doll he was playing with. "Don't scream or I'll be forced to hurt you, flower. I have a gun." His voice sounded deep and rough but this didn't stop you from thrashing and turning on your side until you came face to face with the man. It was dark in the room and you couldn't exactly see all his features but his enchanting green eyes would forever be burned into your memory - they seemed dashing, hypnotizing. You couldn't utter a word.
"It's me, the person you've been talking to all these months. I came to take you home" He spoke out suddenly, the line of his mouth twisting into a smile or a smirk, you couldn't quite tell. You shook your head no, tears threatening to spill all over your cheeks from the fear. It couldn't be him, the man would never do that to you. Or would he? With what little information you knew, you couldn't really tell. His hold finally loosen, seeing you quiet like that.
"Let me go, please." You begged, pushing at his shoulders weakly since you were still sleepy, groggy and tired. "I don't know you." You said, hoping this would remind the stranger you weren't friends, lovers or anything that gave him the right to be so close to you, to touch you so intimately. Unfortunately, this only seemed to amuse him and he chucked darkly as he pulled your hair away to place a small chaste kiss on your neck.
"But I know you, flower." Your supposed online friend replied shortly after, his eyes full of malice. "And your little show today makes me think you want to know me too." He added in a low tone, licking his lips before smashing them on yours, forcing his tongue deep into your mouth just to hear your whines and protests. Then it hit you. The camera, the virus, the questions. He had watched you, he knew where you worked, where you lived and studied, everything. You had told him after all.
The hacker thought you looked so adorable right now, figuring things out, helpless, confused, regretful and most of all, weak. You were so weak and careless, and he loved you for it. It reminded him of himself before life screwed him over.
You wouldn't be in this position, underneath him, if you had just told someone about your laptop virus and the bad guy you had encountered online. But Saeran couldn't say he wasn't glad your self-preservation instincts were so very broken and dysfunctional. He wouldn't meet you otherwise. "I need you, princess. That's why I'll take you to Paradise." These were the final words you heard before you felt lightheaded and sleepy again, your last memory a pair of green mint eyes.
You really shouldn't have trusted strangers on the internet.
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anonymousfiction211 · a year ago
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Handcuffed together
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Summary: Loki and you hate each other, but are both part of the Avengers. They are fed up with you two fighitng all the time and hancuff you together, so you can learn to tolerate each other.  Word count: 3.132 words Warnings: Smut, dubious consent (it is consentual, but not specificly said), angry Loki, degrading  A/N: Based on a idea from @the-best-phineas. Hope you like it! If anyone has an idea, or suggestion just let me know :)
Click here for chapter 2 Click here for chapter 3
With a loud click the handcuff around your wrist closed. You immediately tried to unlock the cuff, but it wouldn’t give. “Like that would work” Loki commented. You gave him a glare but turned your attention back to Tony. “Seriously, this is not necessary. Give us another chance” you begged him. “Look, we are all sick of the two of you constant fighting, it is effecting the team and the missions we’re on. And all that magic-crap makes everything worse. So, until the two of you can tolerate each other you’re cuffed together. And you’re both not allowed on missions before you finish this one” You sighed heavily but knew that arguing more was futile.
“I must say, you’re taking this better than I thought you would” Tony said to Loki. “Escaping handcuffs isn’t that difficult, Stark” Loki replied. Tony secured the cuff on Loki’s wrist. He then walked hastily to the door. “Oh, one more thing. These handcuffs are designed so you can’t use your powers” Tony said and quickly exit the room. Loki immediately tried to escape his cuff with magic, but nothing was happening. You tried as well, but got the same result, nothing. You met his eyes, which were full of anger. “I thought escaping from handcuffs wasn’t that difficult” you said sarcastically. Loki didn’t break eye contact. The anger was radiating off him, you swore you could physically feel it. He didn’t say anything but turned around and walked away. When you didn’t move he yanked at his side of the cuffs and you were forced to take a few steps in his direction. “What the… LOKI..” you started angrily, but he didn’t react. He kept walking while ignoring you. Right now, you had no other choice than to follow him, trying to keep up.
He pushed his bedroom door open with so much force, you thought it would break. He walked towards his bookcase and was taking out different books, flipping through them. You had enough and yanked at the handcuffs, making the book in his hand fall on the ground. “STOP. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING” you yelled at him. He gave you his angriest look, the one he said he reserved specially for you, because he never met anyone who was as stupid and annoying as you were. And that included his oaf of a brother. “I am finding a way to free myself from you” he spat. “So, just stand there and try not to get in the way” he turned his attention back to the bookcase. “You can’t just walk away and drag me along” you grumbled. “Apparently I can” he said with a sly small on his face. You yanked at the cuffs again, making Loki drop his book again. He turned to face you, grabbed your throat with the cuffed hand and pushed you hard against the wall behind you. Your scream was cut off by his other hand covering your mouth. He wasn’t chocking you, but the tightness off his grip wasn’t comfortable enough for you to relax. Your whole body felt like it was on fire, which was weird. It shouldn’t.
He pulled his hand away from your mouth after standing there for what felt like eternity. “Look, I’m much stronger than you are. So, I’m going to find a way to free myself. The only thing you have to do is staying out of my way” he growled. He let go of your throat, but still stood extremely close to you. “Yeah, this whole act doesn’t scare me” your voice hoarser than you would have liked. Loki chuckled “Look, when you had your powers you had some sort of defense, even tough it was weak. Without your powers.. you don’t stand a chance against me” You slapped him hard across his face. His face turned sideways, but his cheek didn’t show any red mark. He slowly turned his head to face you, giving you a wicked smile that sends chills trough your body. He didn’t say anything, just stared at you. But both of you knew, you had just proofed his point.
The rest of the morning you two sat on his bed. Loki was busy reading different books and he sometimes grumbled in annoyance. You were playing a game on your phone, trying to ignore him. Loki snaped his book shut and threw it across the room. You looked up from your phone “I assume the search is not going well then?” you couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at his frustration. “Just shut up, it’s not like you are any useful” he replied. He sighed and laid down on his bed. His put his cuffed hand on his chest, which meant that your hand also touched his chest. When he felt your hand, he puts his hand down beside him, pretending it didn’t happen. “We could pretend to like each other for this afternoon, and we surely will be free before dinner” you said. Loki didn’t reply. He sighed heavily “Fine” he muttered. He got up from the bed, which mean that you had to crawl to his side to get up as well. When it took to long he grabbed your arm and pulled you to your feet in front of him. Not anticipating this move, you stumbled and fell into his chest. His free hand immediately grabbed you by your hip to steady you. A weird feeling was spreading from your hip through your body, you couldn’t quite place it. When he dropped his hand you still felt his touch. “Shall we?” he said. You nodded and followed him towards the living room. But there was no one there. Loki walked towards the kitchen, with you close behind him. There was a note on the kitchen table.
Loki and (Y/N), The team had to leave for a mission. We will be back in two days. Don’t kill each other. - Natasha
Loki crumbled up the piece of paper and threw it through the kitchen. “Great, just great. Two day stuck with you” he said angrily. “Lucky me, two days in the presence of a god” you replied with as much sarcasm as you could. Loki gave you an angry glare, which you ignored. He stormed out of the kitchen, yet again dragging you along. After a few steps you yanked at the cuffs and halted in your track. “Look, we both want nothing more than the be free of each other. But we’re at least stuck with each other for two day, so how about some rules?” you started. Loki didn’t say anything but nodded.
“First, discussing where we are going, no more dragging me along and doing whatever you want” you started.
“No talking unless absolutely necessary” Loki replied.
“No more threats, or throat grabbing”
“No more punching”
“How about no touching of any form?” you said.
“Fine by me. Also, no more singing. You are really bad at it”
“No more insulting me!!” you half yelled
“Don’t make insulting you so easy then!”
There was a long silence. “We sleep in my room” Loki said. “IF you behave this day, I MIGHT consider letting you sleep in the bed” you rolled your eyes at that comment. “I accept that we sleep in your room, but only IF I sleep in the bed too. Otherwise, we sleep in my room” you said. He smirked “If you weren’t so insufferable I might even enjoy this little negotiation” You couldn’t help but smile at his comment “same for me” you replied.
The rest of the afternoon went by rather peacefully. Loki was reading books and you were watching a series on tv. There was one awkward moment when you had to use the toilet, but you had to admit that Loki did his best to give you all the privacy you needed. So, you did the same when he had to go. Your stomach started to rumble, you were getting hungry. “Shall we order food?” you asked Loki. After a very long discussion you both finally agreed on Chinese food. In hindsight it wasn’t the best idea to eat Chinese food when you only have one hand. During dinner, your hands sometimes touched each other, by accident. But every time you felt his hand against yours spark like electricity shot through your body. You suddenly forgot how to breathe and didn’t know where this was coming from. You were hoping Loki didn’t notice and try to ignore the feeling.
After dinner things basically stayed the same. You put on a movie and halfway through Loki decided to watch it too. But none of you said a word to each other. After the movie you were getting tired. “Can we go to bed?” you asked. Loki nodded and the two of you walked to his bedroom. That was when things got a little awkward. You both turned your back towards each other when the other undressed. Loki had pulled down his pants and his shirt, which was now hanging on the chain of the cuffs. You were currently undressing yourself, getting rid of your own pants and pulling your T-shirt over your head, hanging it next to Loki’s on the chain. You currently were in a bra and thong, mentally slapping yourself for not thinking this through this morning. Worst off all was that it was in dark green, which was a colour you wore often before Loki joined the team. When Loki turned around you saw his eyes roam your body, suddenly you felt extremely exposed. You noticed that Loki was more muscular than you thought, if he were any other man on the planet you would have thought his body was attractive. You cleared your throat, snapping Loki’s eyes to meet yours. If you didn’t know any better you thought you saw a slight blush on his cheeks.
He walked towards his doors and turned down the light. His room was completely dark, and you couldn’t see a thing anymore. You heard Loki walk and felt your hand pulled towards his direction. You were hesitant to move, not wanting to trip or bump into something. “Why are you not moving?” Loki asked annoyed. “I- I can’t see a thing” you replied. Loki walked closer to you, his free arm grabbed your shoulder, and he took your cuffed hand with his. You flinched from the sudden touch, not expecting it. “Relax, I’m not going to hurt you” he said. “I know, you just startled me” you replied. He guided you towards his bed and let you get in first. “Thanks” you whispered. “Just go to sleep” he replied. But sleep did not come easily. It was difficult to find a comfortable position, because of the handcuffs. But somehow you managed.
The light shining through the curtains woke you up. Loki was still fast asleep, he looked peaceful. He was laying on his side, facing you with his free hand underneath his head. His cuffed hand was on top of yours. You slowly moved your hand from underneath his. His eyes snapped open, and he looked at you. You were both silent. He cleared his throat “Breakfast?” he asked, you nodded. You both decided it was a good idea to make pancakes. However, cooking with handcuffs on was more difficult than anticipated. Especially since Loki wasn’t much of a cook. You got frustrated and told him to just get out of your way. You finally had the batter how you wanted and picked up the bowl to bring it near the stove. Loki, wanting to get out of your way, choose the wrong direction making the two of you bump into each other. You lost your grip on the bowl and it fell on the ground.
“Seriously?!” you asked angrily. “It’s not my fault you don’t watch where you’re going” Loki replied equally angry. “Why are you incapable of just admitting you’re not perfect and say sorry?”
“Why do you always look to me when someone has to take blame for your actions?” he spat back.
“You are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met!”
“God” Loki corrected.
“What?”
“I’m not a person, I’m a God!”
“Some God you are, you can’t free yourself, you can’t even make your own pancakes” you replied sarcastically.
“I suggest you chose your next words very carefully” he warned you.
You being you, decided to ignore the warning. “You might think yourself a God, but you are the only one who does” you said, knowing it would get some sort of reaction out of him. Loki used to cuffs to spin you around, your back against his chest. His cuffed arm was around your throat and his free hand around your stomach, holding you in place. “If you don’t shut up know, I make you” he whispered in your ear with a dangerous tone in his voice. Your whole body felt on fire, yet again. Before you knew that you did it, you pressed your ass against his groin. “Oh, you like this don’t you?” he purred in your ear. “Shut up and let me go” you said, trying to squirm out his grip. “No, you want this” he said.
“I don’t” you replied.
“That’s a lie”
“Like you would know. You may have the title God of Lies, but like we established... you’re no God” you laughed.
“I don’t need to be the God of Lies to know. You heart rate is up, your pupils yesterday dilated when you saw me shirtless, and your voice is higher. And the best thing is, your needy body betrays you” he laughed back.
You had enough. You kicked the back of your foot against his shin, but Loki didn’t even flinch. “Bad choice, kitten” he said. Without warning his teeth sunk into your neck. Instead of making your scream it made you moan louder than you would have liked. His hand on your stomach travelled downwards, going straight for your core. He cupped your heat with his hand and one of his fingers strokes between your folds. Revealing that you indeed were turned on, and already extremely wet. “Hmm.. such a needy slut you are” he hummed. You wanted to protest, you should protest, but alle words had escaped you. Your breathe was ragged and you knew you what was going to happen.
Loki spun you around, pushing your upper body on the kitchen counter. He held his cuffed hand in your hair, forcing your hand behind your back and your head down. You tried to squirm away, but Loki wouldn’t budge. “We both know you can’t escape and we both know you don’t want to. So now I’m going to fuck you, maybe you think twice next time you talk to me like that” he growled. His free hand hovered over the buttons of your pants and in one smooth motion he opened them. He pulled your pants down, caressing your butt. Goosebumps were starting to form, and you felt yourself grow wetter from his touch. Loki had freed his erection through his zipper, still wearing his pants. He stroked his shaft up and down your slid. Slightly dipping through your folds, coating himself in your wetness.
Without warning he thrusted inside of you, making you cry out in pleasure. He started thrusting in and almost out of you in a very quick pace. His cock filled you up completely, even reaching your g-spot when he was fully inside of you. You started to rock your hips, meeting his pace. “That’s it, good girl” he praised you. It made you blush and clench your walls around his cock. He left darkly at your reaction. You felt your orgasm starting to build up inside of you. Loki’s animalistic way of fucking you was becoming too much. Right before you reached your high you moaned out loud “Oh my God” Loki stilted deep inside of you. “What did you say, darling?” he mused. “I- .. just keep going” you replied, hoping he would let you come undone. He leaned his upper body over yours, his lips right by your ear. “Just repeat it, if you want to come of course” he purred. You didn’t respond and thought about giving up your climax. Loki slowly moved pulled out and back inside of you. He knew you were close and was using that against you at the moment. “What’s wrong, kitten? Usually you’re so talkative” he chuckled. He was keeping his slow pace, keeping you on the edge but not pushing you over it.
You groaned in frustration. “Fine, I said oh my God” you said annoyed. Loki picked his pace up slightly, but nowhere near how fast you needed him. “So, you do admit that I’m a God?” even tough you couldn’t see his face, you just knew he had his signature smirk on his face. “Yes” you said to gritted teeth. Loki just laughed “Now, was that so difficult?” before you could answer he was thrusting at a fast pace. To your surprise Loki himself was starting to moan slightly, muttering things under his breath about how tight you were and how good you feel around his cock. It didn’t take long before you reached your climax. When you reached your high you couldn’t help but cry out “Oh my God Loki” adding fuel to his thrusts. He came right after you.
He collapsed on top of you, leaving feather light kisses on your neck. He pulled out of you and handed you a kitchen towel to clean yourself up. You pulled up your underwear and pants, not being able to look Loki in his eyes. You grabbed another bowl and started on a new pancake batter. Loki stood right behind you, hands on either side of you. He was nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck. “If I knew this would shut you up, I would’ve done it much sooner” he mused. “That was a one-time thing, don’t get any ideas. I still hate you” you replied. “Oh no, new rule. Every time you anger me, I’m going to fuck you like the slut you are” You knew it shouldn’t, but you felt yourself get excited again. “It’s only for a day and a half, so I just won’t make you angry” you replied dryly. Loki laughed “Kitten, even if we’re free from these cuffs I am still going to fuck you. You laid with a God and now you’re mine” You scoffed “That’s not how it works” Loki pulled you closer against his chest and cupped your breast with his free hand. He chuckled when you gasped and closed your eyes. “It is. By the time, the team is back, you will worship me like you should”
Click here for chapter 2
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bingoluka · a year ago
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Need You
Summary: After a case gone wrong, and an injury left unattended, Loki realizes that even Gods need somebody.
Notes: Includes wound depiction and good ole' angst! Also a lil' Wowki but I'm a little bitch baby.
...
When he said it hurt like hell, it hurt like hell.
Each case tended to go wrong in its own unique and terrible way. Whether one of them leaves with a torn shirt and headache, or a deep gash and a broken spirit, one thing was certain; that Mobius and Loki looked out for each other.
Though, Loki would hardly admit he had grown quite fond of the man he called his partner.
Beyond that, he would hardly admit when he really, truly needed his help. He was independent, he knew this, and sometimes asking for the help or pity of another more than once seemed too much mental strain- for both him and whoever had the bad fortune of being alongside him. He hadn't realized the severity of the injury at the time, as a large piece of metal tore away at his abdomen while swimming from an impending tsunami. His magic had already begun to heal him, fixing the initial trauma while the freezing water numbed him.
He has assumed the blood in the water hadn't been his.
Now there he was, wandering aimlessly along the TVA corridors, wishing desperately he could lay his inhibitions to rest all the while sparing his friend the worry. Though, he knew it was unlikely.
The air felt cold against his skin, each step sending a fiery blast of pain across his stomach and up to his back. He grimaced. Pathetic, he thought to himself weakly. Who are you without your power?
"Loki? Loki!"
His voice sounded distant at first, so much he grew concerned he had never heard it at all. A sharp exhale left Loki's mouth as another pang sent shockwaves through his body.
"Oh no- oh no-!"
He stumbled, his legs crossing wildly over each other and he fell into the wall next to him. He began to sink to his knees, the pain becoming overpowering as he fought to stay present. How was it getting worse?
He realized then the wound no longer felt cold. It felt hot, burning as fresh blood spilled from the wound. Loki realized then how little healing had taken place.
"Loki? Hey, hey look at me."
Mobius's voice was soft, calming as it was fearful. Loki wanted to melt into the other, hide from the agony.
"I-I'm sorry," he gasped. "I thought it had healed- I thought- I thought it wasn't this bad-"
"Shh," he whispered, keeping a steady hand on Loki's back. "Loki, can you walk?"
Loki stopped for a moment, his eyes falling to the ground in shame. His breathing was already erratic, jumbling his thoughts and rationality to the point he wasn't sure of anything. He looked up at Mobius now, his eyes scanning his for a sign.
"Come on."
Loki hadn't realized how many people were there with them. Maybe it was adrenaline, or his partial loss of vision from the wound, either way, the voices began to filter in at that moment. Agents and hunters, some workers he had never seen all gathered around them. Mobius had taken one side, while a hunter had him on the other, leading him out of the hall when his body began to go limp. He fought against it, begging himself to stay upright just long enough to prove he was capable. But he wasn't, and they knew this. His knees buckled beneath him, sending both him and the other two staggering forward with an "oh-!"
He could feel them ease him to the ground, pain shooting through him again as he made contact with the floor- causing him to cry out.
"We need to address the wounds here," Mobius said, his voice sharp and heavy. "He's deteriorating, either we let him use magic or we heal him ourselves."
"We can't just let that happen, we have to be outside of the TVA," someone said. "We need to take him somewhere else."
As they spoke, others had taken to pressing against his wound to suppress the bleeding. At first, it was agony. But after a while, he felt a warmth come over his body, a peace he had never felt as the pain melted away. He knew it wasn't supposed to happen, Mobius frantically calling his name being a sure sign, but the relief was something he couldn't deny.
"Loki! Stay with us, come on-"
Before he slipped into sleep, the last thing he saw was Mobius over him, eyes wide and brimming with tears. God, he was tired. But he regretting falling asleep all the same.
...
"If I would've known he was hurt, I wouldn't have taken my eyes off him, what more is there to understand?"
Mobius looked at Renslayer for a moment. Defiance wasn't typically in his nature, though he'll admit his actions spoke otherwise. He was more a calm deviant, not driven by a harsh nature but rather a calm and collected one. She sighed, resting her pointer and thumb on the bridge of her nose.
"I know, I know. But we can't have events like that happen, Mobius. Half our team was distracted, imagine if the variant had struck then?"
"You know I respect you, Renslayer. I really do, I admire you and you know that. But this just seems wrong, he's still a person," Mobius said, frowning. "I know in the grander scheme of things we have a lot to worry about but I saw humanity out there. A collective force of good working toward an unspoken goal."
"Which is?"
"Making sure variant or not, we're taking care of each other."
...
Loki woke on the couch that night.
Wait, couch?
He had expected to still be on the floor. Though he knew Mobius would never, it wasn't out of the picture that another agent might let him stay on the ground. After all, they weren't too fond of him. He went to stretch, the sharp pains from his stomach stopping him in his tracks as he remembered why he was there.
The room was dark, dark enough that beyond his fixed point on the couch, Loki could hardly see a thing. A voice pierced the air, causing him to jump.
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
As Loki realized who it was, he sank back into the couch.
"Fine," he mumbled. Mobius raised an eyebrow.
"Really? You didn't seem too fine back there when you were bleeding out in the halls of the TVA."
"Well, I was," Loki snapped, staring up at the ceiling. He realized how foolish he sounded, but at that point, he didn't care.
"Loki, what happened on that mission?" Mobius asked gently, ignoring the other's outburst. Loki sighed a bit, trying to shift his position.
"I didn't-" he cut himself off with a wince as he moved wrong, the pain burning at first, then turning into a dull ache. Mobius looked down at him worriedly.
"I didn't think it was that bad," he said hurriedly. "I was so cold from the water I didn't feel it. I just assumed the blood hadn't been mine."
It was grim. The idea of the blood in the water was so common for that moment, so anticipated that he had nearly bled out yet speculated it was from somebody else. It brought into focus the severity of even human apocalypses.
"But the blood," Mobius said, frowning. "I should have been able to see it on your shirt when we got back. I didn't see any."
"My magic had healed it for the most part," Loki said. "Just not enough. Once I returned it must've begun to reverse."
As Loki spoke, he noticed Mobius reaching for the hem of his shirt. He quickly blocked his hand with an offended "Hey." Mobius chuckled, shaking his head.
"I'm just trying to see it, come on."
"You don't need to," Loki glared. But of course his efforts didn't deter Mobius, who kept his steady gaze.
"Loki," he said gently. "Come on, let me see."
Loki sighed, wordlessly lifting the hem of his shirt to reveal the array of wounds, accented by the much larger wound that ran across the bottom of his abdomen. He heard Mobius's breath catch.
"Geez..." He murmured, gently brushing a finger across the uninjured skin, which even then was sore.
"Why didn't you say anything?" He asked sadly. Loki cast his eyes to the side.
"An unspoken rule amongst warriors in Asgard was to each their own. It wasn't uncommon to receive wounds in battle, it was seen as noble to keep them to yourself."
"Well, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Mobius said with raised eyebrows. He added a hasty, "No offense."
"No, I agree. They were all morons," he said lightheartedly.
Mobius laughed now, bowing his head as he did so. Loki smiled a bit, still somewhat troubled by the pain but not enough to mention it.
"This is your apartment, then?" He said, trying to initiate conversation so Mobius wouldn't see as he began to sit up.
"Hey, not so fast," Mobius said, placing a hand on the small of Loki's back. "Your powers may be back, but you have a ways to go."
"I'm alright, really."
"I'm beginning to think that phrase holds less ethos each time I hear it."
Loki huffed, barely managing to sit all the way up. He looked around the room as his eyes adjusted. It was a small apartment, most of his items being placed in the living area. Books, dusty empty bottles, wooden furniture accented with water stains and loose change. The carpet was plush, he noticed, like something you would see from the nineties. It was all very cozy and welcoming.
"Sorry about the mess," he said, assuming that's what Loki had been looking at. "I didn't really have time to clean."
"Mess?" Loki frowned. "Mobius, you bring me into your home and you really assume I'm going to judge the state of it?"
"Well, to be fair, I don't get a lot of visitors," he smiled. "Now you need some rest, alright?"
If Loki had just an ounce more strength, he would've shot back some snarky response. This time, however, he found himself too tired to think of one, so instead, he flashed a quick smile.
"I'll be here if you need me."
If you need me.
Loki pondered on the words for a while. Maybe it was the way he said it, or the weariness finally catching up with him. Before he never would have admitted he need someone, much less someone with no relation to him. But in that darkened room he gathered he had a change of heart. As he felt himself slowly fading into the warm embrace of sleep, he felt a hand run across his head, gently brushing his unkempt hair back in a stroking motion. He wanted to open his eyes, to see Mobius, but he stayed still just long enough to hear the words,
"Glad you're alright, Lokes."
Before contently falling asleep.
91 notes · View notes
saintprinsessa · a year ago
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Show me your colors: Agatha Harkness x Fem!reader
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Summary: An Au of how Agatha met you and you pinched her curiosity.
You were a witch without colors. And every one of them had one.
Trigger warning: Hurtful past, but the rest is just pure teasing and fluff vibes.
Author’s note: If you find any mistakes, these are on me!
This cost me a bit, I hope it´s good.
Anyways, please enjoy. <3
----------------------------------------------------
150 years before the Hex thing.
Soft creaks could be heard in the deepest parts of the woods, in the night, everything turned less lively and more disturbing.
Crickets making a symphony in the pasture, the wind blowing through the trees making them tilt a bit, while some of the leaves fell, dancing harmoniously until they touched the ground.
It was raining, so the witch speed up her steps, she despised when her cloak damped, it could turn into days to let it dry completely.
A bad feeling hit her gut, she swears for a moment that she heard some kind of lament or whimper; she straightened herself and looked around, trying to find where did it come from.
Now, it turned into a crying, but it remained soft, like if it didn´t want to be heard.
The witch put one of her hands up, making a claw form and letting some of her purple magic dance in it.
She slowly approached the source of the noises, she ducked a little to pass a tight space between two trees, when she crossed to the other side, she accidentally stepped over a branch making it crunch and alerted the presence that was sobbing near, who quickly tried to get away from its intrusor.
Agatha hesitated a bit, she took a step backward and her hand went higher, trying to let know to whatever was in there, that she was capable of overpowering it.
After a few seconds, the movements ceased and the sobbing was back again.
The witch walked towards the being and stopped when she took what was in her sight.
A girl?
She whipped her wrist a little purple flame appeared to give her light.
How a girl could be in here... ah.
She got the flame to grow a bit and let it float near, then she carefully kneeled in front of the scared being that was curled up in front of her, who turned out to be you.
"Please, just let me go, don´t hurt me."
You said with a shaky tone, shivering a bit, your hands tangled in your hair for protection.
"Are you a witch?"
Agatha had her brows knitted.
In case you were one, what was the point of being so scared?
You stopped trembling.
A new voice...
You let your hands fell from your hair, then moved the hair off your face, so you could see who was talking.
But instead of seeing the figure first, your eyes caught the floating light, then locked into the witch´s ones.
She cleared her throat, expecting an answer.
"I am, ma´am."
You replied calmly, and Agatha hummed.
An intense stare fight started between you two, light tension could be felt in the air, the soft rain was the only thing daring interrupt.
It all stopped when a small droplet of water sneaked under Agatha´s cloak and ran down her back, she clenched her jaw, stood up, and rolled her eyes mentally as she started to walk.
"This way."
You were stunned, but as soon as you heard those words, you stood up clumsily, stepping over your dress and tried to catch the witch who was now meters afar.
The whole trip was silent, Agatha kept up a steady pace, the flame following close and then you, who almost tripped three times now.
When you recovered from your close fall and composed yourself, a cottage appeared in front of you.
This wasn´t here before, was it?
Agatha made her way inside, so did her flame, instantly disappearing and lighting all the candles around the house, and you followed, well, nearly.
You stood under the threshold nervous, waiting for something.
Agatha noticed your hesitation and chuckled while raising a brow.
"Are you waiting for an invitation? Close the door, it´s freezing."
You nodded eagerly, wiped your feet on the little entrance carpet, and shut the door softly behind you, just to feel a warmness in the air when Agatha conjured a spell to light up the chimney and made the house regain temperature in seconds.
"Now..."
Agatha said while she encircled you, observing.
You had your hands clasped at your front, chest rising and descending slowly and your eyes were fixated on the floor.
"How did you come to end sobbing and squealing like a harmed little rat?"
Of course, the witch wasn´t going to be easy on you.
You shifted your gaze to look at the witch and returned to the floor again.
"Well, I... I thought... I thought you were..."
You breathed deeply, then started to shift your weight from feet to another and chewed the inside of your cheek, avoiding her presence, feeling how her eyes burned into your skull.
Agatha didn´t like that, so she made a move.
With a quick trick, she had you trapped on a wall, with your hands pinned to your sides.
You squealed surprised, processing the sudden change, your head bumped onto the wall with force, and you hissed through gritted teeth.
"I won´t ask again."
Agatha said dryly, while a purple darkish cloud formed between her fingers and grew bigger as time passed.
"Wait! Please!"
You breathed almost tripping over your words.
"I thought you were one of the witches of the coven! They didn´t want me near them!"
That didn´t resolve Agatha´s curiosity about your origin but enlivened them.
"What got you expelled?"
You tilted your head as if Agatha was saying crazy things.
The dark-haired knitted her brows and took a step forward.
"Ah! Ex-expelled? I was never part of it... they wouldn´t let me..."
Tears now were falling freely on your face, not just the pain in the back of your head, but your story was affecting too.
"Why?"
The question was calm, Agatha´s hand didn´t glow anymore, she saw how you were not in any position of attacking her, you were vulnerable.
You raised your head to look at the woman and tried to lift your hand a bit, but it quickly was put down by a flick of a wrist of her.
A sob escaped from your lips, and the woman let your body fall to the ground, soon, you were curled up trying to be the farthest possible from the other witch.
"Please, just let me show you"
You said in shaky breaths.
"If you try anything..."
Agatha summoned the little purple flame again, but it had spikes now and it was dangerously close to your head.
You closed your eyes, inhaled, and exhaled sharply, while rising your hands slowly and making a little dance with them to just emanate energy from it.
Agatha was watching everything closely.
Now, the energy was a little sphere and started floating until it reached Agatha's level of eyes.
Her eyes shifted from the ball to your now-forming sad smile.
The energy had no color.
Every witch that Agatha had witnessed had a specific color in her powers, it showed the goal of the witch, that is why it was usual to see a coven with the same type of color on their powers, every one of them had the same objective.
Hers was purple mixed with black because of her thirst for power, even trespassing the insane limits and moving as free will in the dark side, but she loved to sugarcoat it and said that she just belonged to royalty.
"I´m useless, that is the problem, I won´t learn"
You said shrugging your shoulders a bit, while the energy ball faded.
Something in Agatha spoken for itself and decided that she had to be your instructor, she had to show you how useful you could be, otherwise, what she could do with you?
And as time passed by, you now could protect your thoughts, manipulate others and even shapeshift things easily.
But something was still missing.
A few years later.
Books were swirling around the witches as the oldest one in the room was conjuring, you were just observing, from time to time, making little figures of animals to make the ambient more alive.
Agatha snapped out her concentration when a ton of fishes came swimming through her hair and one slapped her cheek with her rear fin.
She glanced annoyed at your figure while you muffled a snort, trying to contain your laugh.
The brunette sighed and the animals disappeared.
“How come to after all this time you never, not even once, had color in your powers?”
Agatha put a hand in her head dramatically, while the other one rested on her hip.
You shrugged your shoulders and kept your head low, why she kept asking that?
“The powers of a witch always come with a specific color, not only it shows the intentions, but the personality and aspirations of the witch.”
You shook your head a bit and slightly twitched your wrist, so a little trick would show.
A flame was sparkling in your hand.
“Gray...”
Your lips twitched upwards and you were limited to nod.
“Don’t you have any mission, dear?”
You knit eyebrows.
Well, I´m hungry, so eat?
Agatha now started lecturing you, you just huffed defeated, every time that she brought the subject up, it ended with her being exhausting and repeatedly explaining how you needed to concentrate on finding your “true nature”.
“Are you listening, (y/n)?”
You rolled your eyes and smiled sarcastically.
“Yes, mentor, always.”
Agatha chuckled slightly, she knew how much worked up your nerves being told this and that, you usually called her “mentor” when you were mocking.
“Well, now, be a good girl and help me with this new spell.”
A pink flush was spread all over your face.
You did help her, because, you were a good girl.
A good girl for Agatha.
Later that night.
“I think..."
Agatha said aloud, suddenly irrupting the silence in the house, making you shift your gaze off the book.
"We have never tried putting you in an extreme situation."
The witch said reflexively.
"We need to find something that disturbs you enough to the point of reach your limits."
She said now enthusiastically, a train of ideas came fast to her brain, and honestly, it scared you a bit.
"What about trying with spiders?"
You gulped, and shook your head, completely disagreeing with her.
"No insects, no fire neither water, just no."
You said defensive, dismissing any crazy idea that she could probably have.
Agatha mumbled some incoherences under her breath about how boring you were.
"Fine, then, on the other hand, we have to fulfill one of your biggest desires, little one."
Your body trembled and you bit your lip nervously.
“Ah ah, I think I provoked something in there, didn’t I?”
Now your eyes were back to the book in your hands, avoiding Agatha.
“What is the thing that you crave most than anything, angel?”
You ignored her, but you knew that, sooner or later, you had to show her.
What your mind and soul wished was undeniable at this point.
There was no getting away from this.
Once you took enough encouragement, you tossed the book somewhere, took a step forward, and hesitantly cupped her cheek with a doubtful hand, and closed the gap between you two, brushing your lips into Agatha’s soft ones.
A jolt of energy went through your bodies, making Agatha and you squirm on your feet with excitement.
She let her palms rest on each side of your body, softly caressing up and down.
And deepened the kiss, tilting her head to the side while you sighed contently.
Now, the magic in the air became ecstatic, embracing you two close.
It was a slow dance with your magic and hers, intertwining and mixing to vibrate gently, your bodies synchronized your heartbeats and breathing, your figures locking as if somehow, they were made for each other.
You were finally accepting your feelings.
You had fallen for her.
Badly.
Every time that you saw her smile at you, your heart tried to jump out of your chest, your breathing became unstable and your cheeks burned.
Agatha made you feel invincible.
A muffled chuckle made you come back from your cloud.
How sweet you are, (y/n).
That sentence echoed in your mind, there was a sudden tickle in your head and you became a flushed mess, you were beyond embarrassed.
Agatha had heard your thoughts.
“Orange?”
Agatha said smiling, her forehead was pressed with yours, her eyes locked onto yours.
She was referring to your, now, colorful powers.
“The color of creativity and enthusiasm”
Agatha snorted a little and closed her eyes.
A lot of memories of you laughing, messing with her, making weird tricks and bad jokes just to make her smile were flooding in her mind.
“It suits you, sweet tooth”
She just smiled widely, little wrinkles forming in the corner of her eyes, she took a little distance from you to watch your features better, grabbing your shoulders and squeezing them, looking at you with a purple gleam on her eyes, she did this when she was excited.
Your eyes pulsated with light too, a smile was seen on your face as you started jumping.
Without a second thought, you hugged her tightly, wrapping your legs on her waist and your arms around her neck, that made her lose balance but your magic quickly caught you both.
You laughed for minutes, resting your head in her chest, she was brushing her fingers in your hair while humming.
“You must be proud of me now.”
You sat, straddling Agatha’s waist, your bodies floating together around the house, energy reverberating around.
“Oh (y/n), I have always been proud of you.”
Agatha sat a bit too so she could reach your lips and you leaned to join her in a slow and tender kiss.
This one was longer than the last, after you both lost your breath, you left each other's warm while sharing loving glances.
Softly, you grabbed Agatha´s hands and started lowering yourselves down gently until your feet touch the ground.
You were still lost in her eyes, so she was the first one to break the silence.
“Now, dear, help me clean the mess you made”
She tapped your hand and squeezed your left cheek.
You knitted your brows confused.
What mess?
You looked around.
Ah, that one.
To your bad luck, you weren’t the only ones floating around the house, but the decorations, books, and everything that was near you floated too.
“Oh, well”
You moved closer to the witch and she closed her eyes to receive a kiss that never came, so she opened her eyes again.
“That’s your problem now, mentor.”
You were nowhere to be seen, but your voice could be heard in the house, surely you were hiding in a room where you were partially safe.
Agatha chuckled and rolled her eyes while started putting everything in place, with her magic of course.
"Oh (y/n), there is no solution for you."
200 notes · View notes
yellowsuitcase · a year ago
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The Niffler // Draco Malfoy
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A/N: I’m really happy with how this turned out! It took me a good three hours to write and I hope you enjoy it!
Summary: A niffler got loose in the Slytherin common room. Draco and Y/N get into an argument. Angst and fluff follow.
Warning(s): Swearing
Word Count: 2.5k
Draco grabbed Y/N’s hand as they made their way to the Great Hall to get some morning tea as well as sausages, eggs, and toast. His ring brushed up against her middle finger, the cold metal shocking to the touch. She turned her head to admire her boyfriend’s handsome side profile. He sensed her eyes on him. Draco smirked and, without warning, went in for a sweet kiss. Y/N let out a small surprised squeal but eagerly kissed him back. Draco began to deepen the kiss, Y/N pulled away. 
“As much as I’d love to snog you all day long—” her stomach growled, “I’m starving. And you have terrible morning breath, love.” 
Draco sputtered, his soft expression turning into a perplexed and shocked one. Y/N simply giggled and dragged him to breakfast.
-----------
Y/N rushed into Greenhouse Three; she’d only just made it in time. As she took her spot at the table, she made a mental note to scold Draco later. Professor Sprout was going on about dittany, and Y/N was trying to pay attention, but a teary-eyed Pansy Parkinson was rather distracting. 
“Pansy!” She whisper-yelled. “Pansy, what’s wrong?”
“Ms. Y/L/N, would you like to tell me the three uses of dittany?” Professor Sprout called out. 
Y/N felt her face turn crimson. Luckily, her mother became a Herbologist after working at the Ministry in the Department of Magical Transportation. 
“Dittany can be used in potion-making, healing magic, and a dittany stalk can be used as a wand core,” Y/N answered. Professor Sprout simply nodded, “Correct, 5 points to Slytherin.”
With Professor Sprout off her back, Y/N was able to speak to Pansy. 
“My necklace is missing. It was a summer gift from my father,” Pansy said while wiping away a tear. Almost all her mascara had been washed away.
“A summer gift? Your father gave you a necklace just because it was sum—” Y/N stopped herself realigned her focus on the problem at hand. “Where did you last see it?”
“I put it on my nightstand last night, this morning it was gone. When I find out who stole it, I’ll hex them. I was thinking the horn tongue hex,” Pansy smirked, “That ought to teach them not to touch my possessions.”
Y/N rolled her eyes. She and Pansy weren’t really friends, but she still felt inclined to help her. Y/N knows that if her emerald choker, given to her by Draco as a birthday gift, had been stolen, she’d be just as upset as Pansy, albeit a bit less.
“Who would’ve stolen your necklace, Pansy?”
“I’ve got no clue, who would do that to me? I mean everyone loves me, I don’t understand!”
Y/N eyes widened as she stared at the empty plant pot in front of her. Surely Pansy wasn’t this thick, was she? If she genuinely believes everyone loves her, she’s got observation skills to develop.
Y/N inhaled through her nose and out through her mouth before asking, “What does it look like? I’ll keep an eye out for it.”
“It’s got three diamonds on each side, with a sapphire gem in the center.”
Y/N nodded and shifted her focus back to her Professor.
----------
Draco spotted his girl from across the hall. She was waiting in their usual meeting spot, the bench outside the Transfiguration classroom. Most of the time, Y/N would have her eyes closed and her head propped against the wall, trying to get in a few moments of shut-eye since she had likely stayed up a few hours longer than she should have the night before. But today, Y/N’s eyes were wide open and scanning every student who walked past her.
The blonde boy weaved his way through the crowd of students and walked up to her.
“What’s got you so tense, love?” he asked as he put his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging them.
Y/N let out a sigh. “Pansy has lost her necklace. She believes it's been stolen. I told her I’d look out for it, but it seems nobody’s wearing any jewelry today.”
Draco frowned. “Since when do you care about Parkinson’s problems? Didn’t she bully you in year 2?”
“Yes, I suppose she did. But it’s been years, we’re young women now, and women help women.”
Draco smiled at his girlfriend’s feistiness and placed a kiss on the crown of her head. “That reminds me, Bulstrode’s been interrogating everyone in Apparition class about the whereabouts of her bracelet.”
“Millicent? That couldn't have been fun.”
“It wasn’t.” 
Just then, Blaise Zabini walked up to the pair, making an effort to avoid Y/N’s eyes, “Malfoy,” he said while looking around suspiciously, “Have you seen my pocket watch anywhere? It’s been stolen.”
Y/N and Draco shared a look. “Haven’t seen it no. How do you know it was stolen?” Draco asked as he removed his hands from Y/N’s shoulders.
“I don’t simply misplace things, Malfoy. Someone had to have stolen it while I was distracted.”
“Well, we haven’t seen it, but we’ll keep an eye out.” Y/N said with a smile the quickly diminished when she heard Blasie’s next words.
“No matter, I’m certain it must’ve been one of your mudblood friends.” He glared at Y/N as he spoke. Very clearly conveying his disapproval of Y/N’s mingling with muggle-born Hogwarts students. 
Y/N visibly shrunk under his fierce gaze. “Watch it, Zabini," Draco spat. He was not enjoying the way Zabini was talking to his girl. 
Zabini said nothing more. He turned on his heel and walked off.
Draco sighed. “Sorry about him, darling.”
Y/N scoffed. “Why are you apologizing? Just a year or two ago, you would’ve agreed with him. Hell, you probably would’ve called me blood traitor every day; you were an arse. I mean, honestly, I still marvel at the fact you were able to stop being a git. What did make you decide to stop bullying everyone who didn’t think purebloods were superior? Huh?”
Draco stood speechless. Y/N was practically fuming, her pupils had shrunk, and her ears were bright red. He looked at her, his hurt expression catching her off guard. She blinked quickly as she realized what she’d just said to him. Her feet stumbled backward, and she took off down the hallway, leaving Draco standing alone as the clock tower bell rang, signaling the beginning of class.
--------
Y/N felt like utter, for lack of a better word, shit. She couldn’t believe she had said all those nasty things to Draco. Thank Merlin it was the last class of the day; after Charms with Professor Flitwick, she’d be able to take a relaxing soak in the Prefect’s Bath. One of her close friends was a Head Girl and would tell Y/N the password to the bathroom if she ever asked.
Y/N heard mumbles behind her. 
“I heard they got into an argument.”
“She really went in on him, he looked shocked, he did.”
“He deserved it that scum bag.”
Y/N turned in her chair, facing the people who were whispering, and twirled her wand between her fingers. Silently suggesting her capabilities. “Can I help you?” She asked while batting her eyelashes. The two Gryffindor students hastily shook their heads. Y/N nodded and turned back around, deciding to actually pay attention to Flitwick’s lecture on the Bubble Head Charm.
Soon enough, the bell rang, and Y/N dragged her feet, leaving the classroom. “Everything alright, Ms. Y/L/N?” Flitwick asked, concern lacing his voice.
“Yes, no need to worry, Professor. I’ll see you next week. I do hope you’ll allow us to practice the Bubble Head Charm in the lake.” 
Professor Flitwick didn’t look entirely convinced, but he smiled and nodded nonetheless.
As she turned the corner, Y/N could sense something was wrong. She surveyed the crowd, searching for someone she knew. A flash of red caught her eye. Fred Weasley. She ran towards him, the crowd whispering as she weaved through them.
“Fred!” she called as she waved her hand. “Fred!” 
He heard her call, “Ah Y/N, what’s up?”
Y/N breathed heavily, catching her breath before asking Fred, “Something’s wrong, what’s happened? Is Draco alright?”
“Take it, easy mate, he’s alright, he’s only lost his ring.”
Y/N felt her heart sink. Draco was quite fond of his Slytherin ring. He was likely not very happy to have lost it, especially after their altercation. She knew she needed to find her boyfriend.
“Thanks, Fred, got to go, see you!”
Fred chuckled as he watched her run off to the dungeons. “Good luck!” He called after her. But she was already out of earshot, adrenaline running through her veins. She was so focused on getting to the Slytherin common room, she hardly noticed she’d already run past it. Her feet skidded across the cold stone floor as she came to a halt. To her defense, it was easy to miss the entrance to the common room. It was a hidden passageway that only appeared when the password was said. Otherwise, it was a bare wall. 
Y/N stood anxiously outside the entrance. “Serpent,” she muttered. The wall moved to reveal a staircase leading down into the common room. Upon her entry, all eyes fell to her.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Y/N,” said Pansy, “Would you like to return our stuff, prat?” Some people snickered at her comment. 
“What do you mean? I haven’t stolen anything.”
“Of course, you haven’t. Draco, you agree with me, don’t you? It’s obvious she’s stolen my necklace, Millicent’s bracelet, Blaise’s pocket watch, and your ring. Is it not?”
Y/N’s eyes shifted to Draco. He was standing next to Blaise with his arms crossed, refusing to make eye contact with his girlfriend. 
“I can’t be sure,” he uttered.
“Draco, you know I wouldn’t,” Y/N said in desperation. She knew she looked bad.
“Prove it,” he said while lifting his eyes to glare at her.
 “Go on then, shake out your robes,” Pansy said. More laughter arose.
Y/N begrudgingly stripped her robe and held it in front of her. She pulled out the pockets, flipped it upside down. The only thing that fell out was two pieces of Fizzing Whizbees, a sherbet ball that made you float a few feet off the ground. It was her guilty pleasure. 
Pansy’s smirk lessened. “Well, you could have hid—”
She was cut short as Professor Snape and Hagrid came bursting into the common room. Snape looked very irritated as he glanced at Hagrid, who took that as his cue to speak. 
“I ‘ave reason ter believe a niffler ‘as gotten loose in ‘ere. I’ll need everyone ter help search fer the little guy.”
Pansy’s face turned red with embarrassment. It was apparent now who the culprit was. Nifflers were known for their excellent treasure locating skills. They’re always on the hunt for shiny objects, of which the Slytherin students had many. 
Y/N felt relief flow through her. Her name was cleared, but now they had a new task, find the niffler, as well as the items it stole.
They searched for what felt like hours. Millicent had found her bracelet and Blaise his pocket watch. Pansy’s necklace and Draco’s ring were still missing. Y/N was currently searching through a wooden cupboard. As she was lifting the random items within it, she came across something shiny. Upon further investigation, she realized she’d found the ring. Excitement rushed through her as she yelled, “Found it!”
Only she wasn’t the only one to have yelled. Turning around, she saw Draco holding the little niffler by the scruff of its neck. It was squirming in his grip. Swiftly, he grabbed its foot and gave it a shake, out fell his ring, which he quickly caught and pocketed.
Anger flashed behind his eyes, “I’ll kill this filthy rat,” he said as he raised his wand. Just as he opened his mouth to curse the niffler, Y/N shouted, “Expelliarmus!”
Draco’s hawthorn wand was ripped from his hand and cast across the room. Most students took this as their cue to leave; they didn’t want to be caught in the middle of Draco’s rage. On her way out, Pansy snatched her necklace from Y/N’s hand.
Hagrid stumbled over to him and gently took the niffler from him. “Thank yeh, Y/N,” he said kindly. Y/N nodded, sad to see the little guy go. She was rather fond of nifflers. A fact Draco knew of. She gazed at him. He was seething as he thrust his ring back onto his finger. 
“Go on then, yell at me, call me a git again. You said it yourself, I’m an arse.”
Her heart clenched. She really fucked up.
A few beats passed before she said, “Draco, I’m sorry. There’s no excuse for what I said to you. You didn’t deserve any of it. I was just angry at Zabini, and I took it out on you. He made me feel weak and stupid, and I was embarrassed. You only stood up for me. I had no place calling you a git and an arse. You’re not. You’re the complete opposite. You’re so much more than I deserve, and I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
A tear slid down her cheek. She knew his harsh words were coming. She closed her eyes tightly and bit her lip hard, bracing herself for it. But nothing came. Tentatively she opened her eyes. They were met with the sight of Draco’s chest. She tilted her head up, rubbing away her tears with her arm. Draco was looking down at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
A few moments passed, and Draco hadn’t said a word. Y/N thought it was over. This must be where he was going to end things between them. She began to cry again, burying her face in her hands.
“Oh sweetheart, come here, It’s alright, I forgive you.”
Draco’s arms wrapped around her. His hand came up behind her head and guided it to the crook of his neck. Y/N only sobbed harder. The weight of the embarrassment and stress endured that day finally crashing down on her. 
He began to stroke her hair. “I’m here, love, you’re okay.”
He held her in his arms for a while until gradually, her sobs turned to sniffles. She gently pulled away from him and peeked up at him. He smiled softly and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead and then to her lips. “Let’s get you some water, and then it’s off to bed. We’ve had an exhausting day, haven’t we darling?”
Y/N let out a chuckle. “We have.”
Draco’s eye’s twinkled with playfulness. Suddenly, he reached behind Y/n and scooped her up into his arms, bridal style. They both giggled like young children as he began to walk them up to their dorms. 
Y/N admired his side profile once again. “I love you, Draco,” she said quietly.
He looked down at her. “And I love you.” They shared another kiss. “Oh, and before you ask, yes, I’ll go apologize to Hagrid and the niffler tomorrow.”
Y/N smiled brightly. “You better,” she said with a stifled laugh. And off they went to get some well-deserved sleep.
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queenofhearts7378 · a year ago
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Constellations Ch. 2
(Yes it finally has a title. Yes this is ending up multi chaptered. Yes there’s another part I’m writing. Yes I already have an outline for a vague plot....Yes I’m still blaming @ladylynse for this XD)
Prev. Chapter  -  Next Chapter
Danny was very much unprepared and underdressed for the time when some wizards fell out of his fireplace.
He paused in the doorway, spoon still in his mouth and cheeks full of cereal, as his brother stood up and brushed the soot off him with a displeased nose scrunch.
Danny swallowed. "And you couldn't just use the door?"
Honestly they're lucky his parents had left to chase down the Box Ghost earlier. Otherwise they'd be covered in a lot more than soot and ash.
Danny couldn't help the snort that escaped at the mental picture of Draco covered in ectoplasm and boiling in rage. 
Draco narrowed his eyes, seeming to pick up that Danny was making fun of him. "Using the Floo was quicker."
"....quicker than walking through the door."
"It's a wizard thing you wouldn't understand." Draco snapped back, his go to response whenever he couldn't argue against Danny's logic at the moment. 
"Uh huh. Anyways what are you doing here?" Danny asked, "You aren't supposed to be here for another two weeks."
Which was time previously planned for Draco to prepare for his summer in America while Danny finished school. Spend the two weeks after Hogwarts let out recuperating and making public appearances with his parents, then spend the rest of the summer with the Fentons.
Actually now that Danny was looking, it seemed Draco had come straight from school. His hair was lacking half its gel, he was still wearing his green tie, and his robes were a very boring black as opposed to the various greys and blues he flaunted around in the previous summer.
“Denebola, pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.” Drawled the man standing behind Draco.
“Hello creepy man that I have never met before,” Danny said, echoing his tone.
Draco choked on air as the discount Kylo Ren sneered at him.
“This is Professor Snape Danny.” A familiar please-don’t-say-anything-that-will-get-us-in-trouble tone coloring Draco’s words. “My godfather.”
Oh the potion guy. Danny remembers Draco talking about him now. He was friends with Draco’s parents, which didn’t really impress Danny that much as all of the Malfoy’s friends seemed to be really rich snobs or really racist. Mostly both.
But he was Draco’s godfather, the reason he got into potions, his favorite professor and someone Draco would willingly go to get advice from. So, Danny decided to reserve judgement till he met him. Well….he met him.
Danny looked Draco dead in the eyes, “My apologies.”
Draco closed his eyes in mortification, which made Danny grin internally. They were really getting the hang of the whole ‘speaking without talking to each other twin thing’. 
Professor Snape just scowled at him. “Where are the….muggles?" Disdain dripped off his words, instantly making Danny defensive. He had heard enough at Malfoy Manor about disgraceful, savage muggles from Lucius. Even Draco had echoed his father till Danny dragged him kicking and screaming into being a slightly decent person.
"My parents," Danny said, stressing the word, "Are working right now."
Okay maybe they were just being their usual trigger happy selves and running after Boxy, but there was no way he was telling Professor Snape that without it leading to an hour long discussion about ghosts. And Danny did not have time for that. He shoved a giant spoonful of cereal in his mouth as he met Professor Snape's eyes and-huh.
Draco never told Danny his godfather could read minds. He could feel the light brushes of a foreign mind attempting to gleam information from his surface thoughts. Danny didn't know if it was his wizard ancestry or halfa weirdness that made him sensitive to this kind of stuff. Either way, it was useful in keeping his secrets in his head from privacy invading school teachers.
Danny glowered at Snape and immediately thought of Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up music video.
The two of them stared at each other for a minute, making Draco more and more anxious as no one said anything.
Finally Snape broke contact, "Where should his things go?"
Danny tried very hard not to smirk after winning that staring contest, "You can just leave them here, we'll get them later."
With one last displeased sneer, Snape turned to Draco. "I'm needed back at Hogwarts. I trust you are in good hands."
Draco nodded, still looking tense and anxious as hell.
Snape walked back to the fireplace. He paused next to Draco, "Take care of yourself Draco."
Draco softened under his glare, "I will Professor. Thank you."
Snape nodded and shot one more glare at Danny, who still had Rick Astley echoing in his head, before vanishing into the fireplace in a swirl of green fire.
Draco turned back to Danny and said, "You stress me out."
Danny snorted before walking back into the kitchen to put his bowl in the sink. Draco followed after him, looking at all the kitchen appliances with a barely hidden curious look.
"Something else we have in common."
"What are you wearing?" He asked with a nose scrunched in displeasure.
Danny shot him a look, "My pajamas, cause I just woke up. I haven't finished getting ready for school. You should probably change too."
"Why?"
Danny started for the stairs, Draco still following at his heels. "You can't wear robes to public school. I think you can fit in my jeans."
"What?!" Draco screeched, halting at the bottom of the stairs, "I'm not going to muggle school with you!"
"It's either that or stay here by yourself for hours." Danny said as he paused outside his room. Draco scrambled up after him. "Cause my parents won't be home for a couple more hours, after which you'll be alone with them till I get home."
Danny smirked at him, "My parents are going to be thrilled to see you, can you really handle their enthusiasm all by yourself?"
Draco could barely stand Danny showing various forms of physical affection, as proven last summer when Danny would throw an arm around Draco's shoulders and almost get hexed. And Ancients forbid Danny try to hug him. Draco might actually lose the wand and just punch him. Danny had spent most of their correspondence over the school year prepping Draco for the Fenton welcome wagon so he wouldn't hiss like a cat when he gets hugged. Okay, and maybe Danny just wanted to see his overdramatic brother's face as he is subjected to his parent's bear hugs. 
Draco scowled at him, "Fine. But I'm not wearing any jeans."
Draco stomped into Danny's room and slammed the door in his face. He heard the lock click as it was shut.
"Hey! I still gotta get dressed!" Danny banged on the door, "C'mon Drake it's still my room!"
Danny groaned before walking over to the bathroom. He phased through the wall and landed on the fire escape. It took a few minutes, but he eventually maneuvered to his window and slipped in.
Draco had dug into Danny's closet and pulled out the most dressy tux Danny owned and was in the middle of putting it on. 
"You are not wearing that."
Draco scowled at him, "It’s bad enough I'm lowering myself by going with you-”
“Lowering yourself?”
“-But,” he said loudly, “I absolutely refuse to wear common muggle wear. If I’m going to this school, I will not look anything less than my absolute best.”
Danny stared at him. “Drake you will be thrown into the dumpster if you wear that to my school. Let me just-”
Danny jumped on him, trying to remove the suit jacket from a struggling Draco. Draco shouted and tried to twist away, only for Danny to pull it over his head. Once Draco was out of sight, and swearing loudly at him, Danny subtly used his intangibility to yank it off him. And if he happened to remove all of Draco’s hair gel that he used to keep his hair slicked back….well, that would have gotten him thrown in a dumpster as well.
Danny tried not to laugh as Draco glared at him, his hair fluffed up and looking vaguely like an angry kitten. 
"Do you know how long it takes me to fix my hair? I have to completely redo it now! And how'd you get that off me?" He pointed at the jacket Danny was throwing back in his closet.
Danny grinned at him, "Magic."
Draco gave him a flat look.
"Anyway we've got to go, otherwise I'm gonna be late again, and get detention again, and you'll be forced to either walk home by yourself or stay at school with me."
Somehow Danny had managed to get dressed and drag Draco out the door with him, texting Sam and Tucker his plans to walk so they could meet up on the way.
"What is that?" Draco leaned over to squint at the phone in Danny's hand.
"My phone. I told you about it last summer."
Draco hummed, "I thought it was broken?"
"Yeah, cause your magic blew it up. My parents fixed it." Danny shoved his phone back in his pocket like Draco was about to blow it up again. "Now what happened?"
Draco shot him a glance, before letting his eyes flicker around them. "I did try to tell you muggle 'technology' and magic doesn't always go together."
"Drake, you know that's not what I mean." He said softly.
Draco was silent, his jaw clenched and his hands shaking before he shoved them in his pockets.
They walked in silence for a while.
"You'll get hurt."
Danny looked at him.
"I…." Draco sighed, "I've never…."
Danny waited silently for him to get the words out on his own, knowing that pushing him will only make him clam up.
"You aren't like us. And I don't mean that in any bad way!" He said quickly when he saw Danny's face. "But you know what my parents are like, and their friends are so much worse, and you're the first person I've ever had to worry about. I just want you to be safe."
Oh Ancients, that was a lot to unpack there. 
Danny had known something had happened during school. The two of them spent the school year exchanging letters, both of them wanting to stay in contact. Danny would tell him about his school, and his parents' antics, and explain random muggle technology to get Draco prepared for his summer with the Fentons.
Meanwhile, Draco had complained at length about Potter and a tournament and Potter being insufferable about a tournament. There was a furious letter about being turned into a ferret and how Potter and his friends keep bringing it up. Draco sent him about three feet of parchment around Christmas just making fun of Potter at a dance and how horrible he was. There was a lot about some famous Quidditch guy and then a lot about Potter’s friend stealing the famous Quidditch guy.
Draco complained about Potter a lot, okay?
But Draco never sent him a letter about the tournament results or if Potter got eaten by a bog witch or whatever it was he was hoping for the last task. He just showed up, two weeks early and clearly shaken about whatever it was that happened.
That isn’t a good sign at all. And Danny had eavesdropped enough last summer to get a decent idea as to what was going on.
“This is….this is about him isn’t it?”
Draco flinched, which was enough answer for him. Danny let out a breath.
“We can-we can talk about this later. I care about you too Drake, and I know your family is neck deep in this mess.” Danny bumped his shoulder, “You’re safe here, that’s why Narcissa sent you here right?”
Draco leaned against his brother’s shoulder, eyes still flitting across the street and his jaw clenched. “Yeah. We’re safe here.”
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tsuraiwrites · a year ago
Note
"Shouldn't you be with him/her" for Fenders for DADWC? Please and thank you!
thank you so much for the prompt! this is definitely a piece that needs to be edited sober, but I hope you enjoy what I have here nonetheless. for @dadrunkwriting
Fic: Better to Ask Forgiveness
Darktown is as filthy and miserable as ever when Fenris steps off the lift, only barely missing a puddle eddying with putrid water. He adjusts the hood of his cloak, but even underground, there’s no escaping the rain. It sluices down the walls from pipes and holes above, the sewers for once fulfilling their intended purpose as polluted water forms shallow, fast-moving rivers on the ground. The smell is almost enough to cover the stench of chokedamp and rot.
Fenris moves gingerly, his long familiarity guiding him through the dark passages even with unsure footing. Only once does he slip, his foot plunging into an unpleasantly warm stream of sewage before Fenris can reel back. He curses, trying to shake the worst of the clinging damp away before it can sink into his leggings, but it’s of little use. His mood fouls further but he diligently continues on, not about to let the inconvenience of this whole matter stop him from reaching his destination.
No one bothers him as he approaches the clinic, either well-used to the sight of him or, more likely, wary of the large sword he carries slung over his back. Thus, his trip through the dank warrens of the city is quiet, giving him more than enough time to think.
Or more time to brood, as Varric would no doubt point out should he ever hear of this incident. Bad enough the dwarf was witness to Fenris’ shameful loss of control after killing Hadriana today. Bad enough Fenris put his foot in his mouth hard enough to choke on it not once, but twice. Bad enough that he’d already gone, head hanging, to Hawke’s door to apologize and ask for advice-
Fenris turns the final corner before his destination.
The lantern is out, and that of all things is what makes Fenris hesitate, his steps slowing to a stop as he nears the closed and barred door. If the lantern is out, that must mean the mage inside is asleep or working on his manifesto. The latter he does not care about interrupting, but if Anders is finally getting some sleep for once…
No, Fenris is just making excuses now.
Honestly he had not expected Anders to follow him out of that slaver den onto the coast, but in hindsight he should have; Anders’ footsteps ground in the sand louder than any decent warrior’s would. Fenris had been in no mood to listen to anything a mage had to say at the time, much less accept any platitudes he would surely offer, not after Hadriana tried to drip poison in his ear. So when Anders had put a hand on his shoulder, probably meaning to comfort or to question...
“Get your filthy hands off of me, abomination! Leave me be!”
His hands clench, gauntlets creaking in protest as he wrenches himself out of the recollection, still staring at the half-rotten wood of the door.
“Tell him you’re sorry, Fenris,” Hawke had advised him, as if words between them were ever that easy, when even months into their involvement a number of their conversations still end in sniping, though they’ve been much less vicious about it.
Until now.
Kaffas, but he’s stalling again. Before he can wander in any more mental circles he raises his fist to bang on the door. The wood shudders under his fist, but thankfully holds up under the assault.
“The clinic is closed!” a muffled voice calls from inside, confirming the mage is still awake.
“Then it is good I am not in need of healing,” Fenris says.
Silence descends but for the sound of water dripping, before his keen hearing picks up the rustle of footsteps approaching the door. There is the thump of the bar being lifted, then the healer throws the door open with a deep scowl on his face.
“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with him?” Anders practically sneers.
Fenris blinks, his irritation giving way to confusion for a moment.
“What are you talking about?”
“You went to Hawke’s house, I saw you with my own eyes. I figured you had your company for the night. Non-mage company.”
Saw him enter Hawke’s mansion? That meant Anders had been all the way in Hightown… to see Fenris? He takes in the mage’s damp hair for a split second before the last part of Anders’ statement sinks in.
“My company- fasta vass, mage, I did not seek Hawke to sleep with him! I went to apologize.”
Anders’ mouth falls open with shock for a long moment, his cheeks flushing with an all-too-familiar anger.
“You went to apologize to Hawke for being an asshole earlier and not to me?”
“Perhaps you can look beyond your own nose for once and realize that I am standing here, speaking to you now!” Fenris snaps, then clenches his teeth as a wave of exhaustion follows. They will get nowhere in this if he flies off the handle at Anders’ every pointed remark. He tries to shove the bubbling anger down, lock it away. It doesn’t work well but his words do, for once, get Anders to close his mouth – and a flicker of blue cracks across the mage’s cheek for a split second before it’s gone. Fenris clenches his teeth but does not remark on the spirit’s presence, no matter how he longs to point out the loss of control it implies.
The spirit is not why he is here.
“May I come in?”
That, finally, seems to prompt the mage to realize they still stand half in the entryway, their discussion readily audible to any passerby.
“Fine,” Anders says, the wrinkle between his brows deepening. He moves out of the doorway and Fenris resists shoving his way in, waiting until the man is well clear to follow.
The clinic echoes with dripping water, though in the weak candlelight Fenris can see the buckets set out to catch the worst of the leaks. The room is thankfully otherwise deserted.
Anders picks his way back to his small, walled-off private space and Fenris watches his back until he reaches a makeshift writing desk. Curls of parchment covered with spidery handwriting cover the surface, but Fenris only has a moment to take them in before Anders turns, pinning him with a scrutinizing look. It finally prompts him to speak.
“I am sorry, for the words I spoke both in the caves, and after. It was wrong of me.”
Anders stands stiff for a moment.
“That’s all you have to say?” he asks.
“I will not try to placate you with flowery words, if that’s what you want,” Fenris grinds out.
“You could promise not to do it again, for a start!” Anders replies.
“Like you, I often do not think before I speak!” he snaps, then closes his eyes and reminds himself he can’t pinch his brow the way he would like to while wearing the gauntlets. “I can’t promise I will not lose my temper, as you well know.”
“I’m not asking you to not get angry, you’re more than entitled to feel anger after everything you’ve been through. I just-” He shakes his head, but before Fenris so much as opens his mouth to reply, he continues. “I thought you’d grown tired of my filthy, abominable hands.” Anders holds out those hands with palms up, spreading staff-calloused fingers wide. His mouth twists up like he’s trying to make a joke, but the words fall flat. “Tired of being with a mage. After the way you acted… You’ve been disgusted by me the whole time, haven’t you?”
“No!” Fenris denies immediately, before his brain can catch up with his mouth. Anders jerks as if surprised by his vehemence, dropping his hands. “That’s not the reason I pushed you away. I... needed to be alone for my own sake, which is exactly why I left without our company in the first place.”
“Then it’s my fault that I followed you?”
“Must you be so willfully obtuse? That’s not what I said.”
“Then what are you saying? Spell it out for me, Fenris, because if I have to listen to one more person tell me about the evils of magic I’m going to scream, I swear to the Maker.”
Fenris wants to laugh. As far as threats go, screaming is the least of what a mage as powerful as Anders could do in response to anyone who challenges him. After a long debate with himself he steps forward, reaching out, half-surprised Anders even lets him take his hand. He is careful not to let the sharp edges of his taloned gauntlets dig into the mage’s skin.
“I’m not disgusted by you. I am conflicted by everything I have experienced at mages’ hands, but you have yet to hurt me with magic.” He takes a deep breath, “I… care for you, and value what we have together. But I need to be alone sometimes to collect myself. After what that bitch Hadriana said-” he cuts himself off before his temper can flare again, looking up to meet Anders’ gaze. “I will not abandon you in a fight, but if I otherwise leave, you must let me go. I will return.” Return to you, pushes itself across his tongue, but he bites it back.
That, he’s not ready to speak aloud.
“...Agreed,” Anders says after a long moment, his whole expression weighed down with expectation. “But I need something from you, too.”
Fenris doesn’t tense – can already guess what the man wants. He waits.
“Unless I actually break out in boils and spine twisting, don’t call me that again,” he says, tone level.
“Agreed.”
“Then I forgive you,” Anders says, easy as that. The mage tugs Fenris closer by the hand, and where Fenris expects to be pulled into a kiss, he’s instead swept into a fierce hug. Tentatively, he wraps his arms around Anders’ torso, trying not to let a faceful of unkempt, damp copper-blond hair get in his mouth. Anders’ grip isn’t quite crushing, but it comes close, and after a long moment Fenris feels himself relaxing against the warmth of the man’s body.
For now, it’s enough
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mamahealing · 2 years ago
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Cleansing, blessing, and protection basics
If you are new to witchcraft this guide is for you, but even if you are seasoned in the craft I still think it’s a really good idea to read other witches posts for new ideas and inspiration!~ Cleansing is such an important practice for anyone, not just witches. It is very commonly seen in many different cultures and religions worldwide and is practised in many different ways depending on the tools being used. Cleansing can be done with the help of deities or spirits, or it can be done in a secular way as well with reliance on your own energy or tools. Some people have different beliefs around when cleansing should be done and what rituals should be done at different times of the year. My path is one that works with the natural flows of energy around me, and I call upon deities and spirits to help me in my workings. I cleanse as I feel it is needed, and during the new moon period as well. However, you can adjust your practices to suit your own path and what makes you feel happiest.
Reasons to cleanse and when it should be done: Cleansing is so important for many reasons. It gets rid of heavy emotional energy, it prevents us from being influenced by unwanted energies, it gets rid of negative entities, and it helps to protect us in some cases, depending on what you are doing. You might want to cleanse when there has been a fight, or when an activity has been repeated in an area (like stress in a workplace) and a residue of the emotions felt while doing that activity has been left.  Another time to cleanse would be after someone has been sick. It is best to wait until the person has become well again because if you cleanse while they are resting in their sick room and you use smoke you may make them feel more unwell. Once they are better again, it is good to go into the room they were resting in and give it a good cleanse to banish evil spirits and fumigate. Overall though, it is good to give things a cleanse even if nothing negative has happened. Spiritual people don’t always feel wonderful and magical all the time, and we aren’t immune to creating bad energy. Sometimes you come home and you’ve had a bad day, or you might just be tired, or you feel angry, stressed, etc. Maybe you’ve had a party and all your friends left their energy in your house. Even if nothing happened, this everyday stuff just builds up and needs to be removed every now and then. This is why it’s often good to set a regular cleansing time, such as the monthly new moon as well. Things that can be cleansed Pretty much anything can be cleansed. Commonly though, people cleanse their homes, their bodies, other people, objects, spiritual tools, and charms. There is really no end to what can be cleansed, and there is no end to what can pick up negative energy. Even your phone could pick up negative energy, and you then carry that around everywhere and touch it non-stop, allowing it to affect you. Tarot cards and other divination tools I would actually suggest to cleanse more often than other tools because they tend to pick up negative energies faster.  What you can use to cleanse Smoke- This is one of the most common methods for cleansing, and you can use bundles of dried herbs, resins, or incenses to do this. You just need to light them up and waft the smoke around whatever is being cleansed. Cleaning your house- Clutter, dirt, mould, and mess attract bad energy that likes to hang in your laundry pile. Cleaning also helps us feel a lot less stressed, making room inside of you to experience healing energies. Don’t forget that mould and other ugly things can make you sick and affect your mental health as well, so it is very important to keep yourself and your home clean. Water- In some cultures water is considered to be very sacred and purifying, and is utilized by taking cleansing baths and showers, washing the body or objects that are being cleansed, floor washes, and just by sprinkling. Be careful with this one though, because if you do not dry some surfaces they may become mouldy. Some types of crystals and natural materials like bones and wood don’t really like water and may become damaged from it. It is better to cleanse these with salt or smoke. Fire- Again, in some cultures, fire is considered very sacred and holy. You do not need to burn your house down to achieve this. Be careful with this one, because you do not want to become a crispy sausage. But fire can be represented in smoke cleansing, or it can be used to banish things by burning something that represents what it is that you wish to get rid of. I often find that speaking or praying over a flame and asking help from fire to remove something will result in massive energetic changes- especially long term. Please ensure to never leave a fire unattended- this is basic common sense but you’d be surprised how many people don’t follow this!  Air- A cool breeze can work wonders to clear energy! It’s so nice to open your windows and doors and let the cool air flow through the home.  Salt- We all know salt preserves things from bacteria and other nasties, but it also has a very electrical charge almost, it carries a lot of powerful energy. So it is really good for cleansing, especially when entities are around. I like to keep some by my bed to keep entities away from me while sleeping and to prevent bad dreams. Sound- Sound is really powerful, especially because we know that sound carries vibrations and can carry them far. Bells, singing bowls, drums, your voice, clapping, youtube healing frequency videos, chanting, and prayer are all really amazing at cleansing things. Heck, even pots and pans can be bashed together to clear entities. I also sometimes feel like spirits are sleeping, so I usually wake them up with gentle bells. Mists and floor washes- Again, water here, but usually, this is a good option if you can’t burn things. Beware again though, that you don’t leave things wet otherwise they can grow mould and as I said before, some types of crystals and natural materials like bones and wood don’t really like water. Usually, though, these are just water mixed with something such as essential oils, herbs, crystals or salt etc, which have been chosen to imbue the water with a certain element or property. These are then spritzed with a spray bottle around or on whatever you are cleansing. Floor washes can be mopped or thrown over the floor. Oils, alcohols, floral waters, and vinegar- Essential oils such as peppermint, myrrh, frankincense, eucalyptus, and myrtle are really good for cleansing things, especially if you cannot use smoke again. Diffusing essential oils is also a very common practice outside of the spiritual community so this might be a good option if you aren’t able to be so open about your path.  Alcohols such as Florida water are often used in cleansing, but keep in mind that some people consider Florida water to belong to closed cultures. Some people, however, disagree with this. But, you can always make your own floral waters for cleansing or you can buy them from essential oil manufacturers as a byproduct of essential oil production. You do not need to use Florida water if you are concerned about appropriation here. Floral waters are often sold by essential oil wholesalers, as they are usually sold to cosmetic manufacturers for use in moisturizers and balms. You can buy rose water or orange blossom water from Middle Eastern supermarkets, or if you are lucky enough they might be available in your local supermarket as well. Vinegar is really good to cleanse and also for cleaning. You can mix lemon and tea tree essential oil into vinegar, and these together are really good for cleaning and removing unwanted energy around the home. Vinegar is also good for banishments.  Some basic and good ways to cleanse a home: When cleansing a home, pay attention not only to the rooms but especially to the doors, windows and any mirrors. A lot of things are happening energetically in those spaces and they are usually hot spots for activity. Using salt and water: To cleanse a home with these, sprinkle water around the walls, and place a small sprinkle of salt in each corner of every room. You can also place salt along the front of a door, or along a windowsill. Sometimes though, salt can damage paint so don’t leave it on painted surfaces for too long. You can also paint protective symbols over the door and window frames with the water. Using smoke from herbs, resins or incense: To cleanse using these, take the smoke around to each room and move it in an anticlockwise circle three times. Also make sure to waft a lot of smoke around doors, windows and mirrors.  Sound and prayer: You can go around each room with instruments, or you can sing over or speak over your home to cleanse it. If you choose to pray, make sure to state what needs to be removed, and what will happen within that space instead. Eg. “May all anger, hurt, stress, and any other unwanted energies leave this space. May this room be safe, still, and peaceful, and may we experience joy, laughter and happiness in this room.” How do I know if there are entities in the room? If you are practised enough in sensing energies you will know straight away. However, if you are a beginner please keep in mind that your fear of entities alone can mean that you might believe there is an entity in your home even when there isn’t, or your fear might even attract one. Sometimes we can also fall prey to the power of influential words, and a psychic or someone else who senses energies might claim that you have a spirit in your home and then you will start seeing signs for its existence even if nothing is there. Even if the psychic didn’t pick up on a negative entity, but just said the word “spirit”, many people have different interpretations for this word based on religious beliefs, influence from movies and pop culture, etc. You may have misunderstood. In fact, there are a lot of spirits around us all the time, ancestral spirits, household spirits, plant and animal spirits- and not all of them mean harm. But some people interpret the word spirit to instantly mean the worst. Mould can also affect your mental health and if it has made you unwell enough it can make you hallucinate and see entities or experience haunting activity. Check for things like this before worrying and stressing yourself unnecessarily. If you had an entity that meant harm, you would just know. And until you experience the sense of “just knowing” this kind of thing, you probably will not understand what I mean here.  Energy flowering and blessings Once you have cleansed a space and depending on what you used to cleanse, the space or object might feel like a blank canvas. You need to do what is called energy flowering or charging to reconfigure the energy of a space or item. Energy flowering is usually done with floral waters, resins, crystals, or incense sticks. Bundles of herbs are used mostly for cleansing, but depending on the herb they can be used for flowering as well. But in my personal opinion herb bundles are best for cleansing only. Salt or soil can also be used for this- as I said before salt seems to carry a very electrical feeling energy, and soil from the earth can also be used to recharge objects. Resins are really good for raising vibrations and creating healing and beautiful emotional energies.  To recharge with incenses or resins, waft the energy around the home but in clockwise circles and if possible use your dominant hand. You can also hold objects like tarot cards or crystals in the smoke or you can waft the smoke towards yourself or someone else. Cinnamon, sandal, frankincense, myrrh, and dragons blood are really good for this purpose.  To recharge with floral waters, you can wash objects in them, or you can sprinkle them around the walls, doors, and windows. Altar spaces and deity images usually really like this type of cleansing. To recharge objects with soil, bury them until they feel ready. Make sure to leave yourself a marker on the ground so you know where they are buried. If you live in an apartment, you can definitely bury things in a pot of soil. If you cannot get soil you can also leave objects on a bed of salt for as long as needed. To recharge using crystals, place the crystal you want to use over the object or within the space and leave it for as long as needed. Clear quartz is a good energy conductor and will bring intense universal energies down. Copper is also really good for conducting energy, so if you have any copper items they can help recharge an item or space as well. Blessings A blessing ritual is a really lovely way to give a room, a person, or an object your goodwill, and also to call down the highest good upon something. You can make a charm to bless someone, you can pray or speak over someone or something, or you can also anoint objects, places, or people with sacred oils. This is also where some fun stuff like glitter, colourful threads, beads and other cool stuff can work its way into your magic. A basic blessing ritual for a person White, pink, and green candles Rose water Salt Rice Anointing oil Honeysuckle incense A bowl of water, soap and a towel.
Create a small mixture of salt, rice, and your anointing oil. Keep some of these ingredients separate and to the side. Wash the hands of the person you are blessing with the rose water, and rub the salt, rice, and oil mixture into their hands gently. They can rest their hands for a bit until the ritual is done. Sprinkle their head with the rose water, and offer rice and salt to them in the direction of their mouth (they don’t have to eat it so don’t shove it in their mouth lol) and also to the each side of their temples and the top of their head (you just need to hold it in your hand and point it in the directions listed above). Waft the incense around them three times clockwise, and offer the candles to them by moving them in a clockwise circle three times as well around the person. As you are doing this you can say out loud or in your heart “May you be well, may you be protected, and may you be free from suffering.” Think of everything good that you wish for this person as you are doing this ritual.  Anoint their forehead at the hairline with the oil. You can then offer them the soap, water and towel for them to clean their hands once all this is done. The ritual is complete! Making charms for blessing and protection You can make charm bags and fill them with all sorts of fun stuff like colourful glitters, sequins, crytals, herbs, meaningful items, images of deities, or handwritten prayers or sigils. Colourful glitters are cool because glitter is fabulous, and all the colours have meanings associated with them so you can pick the colours based on what you want to achieve. You can also make yourself some jewellery, and if you want to you could use religious icons or images in your jewellery, or choose colourful beads that represent certain ideas, archetypes, or deities.  Other charms can also be candles or herbs for example. You could hang dried herbs around the home, or you can anoint a candle with an oil of choice and it will act as a charm. You can also anoint jewellery with oils. Making a charm from jewellery Select a piece of jewellery. It is better if it is made of something like gold or silver, as fashion jewellery can become damaged from oils of whatever you might use. Beadwork should be fine. You can make this into a ritual if you like, or you can keep it simple. Personally, I like to keep things simple when it comes to making charms, but each to their own. You can remix this however you like to suit your needs.  Before you start, I believe it is respectful to ask the object if it wants to become a charm. Even inanimate objects contain the spirit of the universe or contain a consciousness. You cannot force it to serve you, so please ask respectfully if it is happy to help you. You will sense the answer with your intuition, or you might experience other phenomena such as synchronicities, seeing or sensing colours or energy, or hearing something. Just listen patiently. If it says yes, wash the object in water to purify it and leave it on a bed of salt for a hot minute. Light some candles with the colour that corresponds to your intention, and burns some incense. Anoint the charm in a blessing oil, and ask it to carry this intent for you. You can pray over it or speak over it what you intend for this charm. Give the offerings of candles and incense to the charm and thank it for helping you. It is respectful to bow before the object while giving it thanks.
It is now ready to wear, but you might want to clean it off. I can’t imagine jewellery with caked-on salt looks too nice. Creating protective charms for the home Religious iconography near doorways is a really good option if you are able to openly display these. Some cultures make protective charms from certain objects like horseshoes, chilli peppers, bells, lemons, sigils, or similar items from temples and shrines. In each case, it is again respectful to ask the object if it wants to help you.  You can do a similar ritual to the above, or you can make your own charms for the house. Basil charm to call down holy fire Basil is a herb I use in spiritual healing because I find it often has a very fiery energy that can really intensely open up and allow universal energy to flow. It is very simple to make, all you need to do is dry a bunch of basil. Ask if it is happy to serve as a charm for the home. If it says yes you can hang it in the home up high above the head, and preferably in the main room such as a lounge room so that everyone can be influenced.
Bay leaf doorway charm Sew some dried bay leaves together in a chain, big enough to fit the measurements of the door frame you wish to place it over. Once the length of the chain is big enough for the door, ask the object if it wants to serve you. If the answer is yes, hang it above your door frame. This will protect evil spirits from entering the home and will bring luck and abundance to those inside.  Jar of holy salts for the bedside Combine sea salt in a jar with oils such as peppermint, frankincense, orange and lavender. You can mix in some of the same dried herbs if you like as well. Ask the object if it wishes to serve you, and if yes place it by the bed. This is a protective charm that will ensure a peaceful sleep without being bothered by bad dreams, negative entities, or anything else that you want to keep away. I had a friend who had a terrifying experience of having his name yelled at him by some sort of spirit just as he sat down to sleep. This charm has helped him feel calm and protected and he has not experienced the issue since.
Maintaining charms Charms do not want to be forgotten. They can often become spiritually blank or deadened and will be unable to continue their purpose if they are not cared for. They need love, they are a consciousness that wishes for its own happiness. One of the best ways to keep charms happy I find is to talk to them and build a relationship with them. In the morning when I do my regular incense burning and candle lighting I also give them offerings as well, by going around the house and waving the incense and candles towards them. I might also re-anoint them when needed. I find that if the object is respected as being holy and as being part of the family it will continue to happily serve the home. Don’t forget this step to give your charms love and treat them as if they are alive with consciousness!  ♥ Building a relationship with the spirits of the home and land for protection Just as charms contain a consciousness, so do all inanimate and animate objects in the home and on the land which your home resides. It is good to honour these spirits and energies with offerings, and they can, in turn, be called upon to protect the home. I always leave incense burning in a safe place outside as an offering to the spirits of the land and home, and as I do so I ask for their protection upon the home. Over time, you will be able to sense their energies more and they will begin to surround you and protect you. You do not need to do much here except allow time and routine to do the work for you. 
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moonstonesandmangoes · 8 months ago
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can you hear all of my open wounds, i'm whispering as loud as the flowers bloom (Dream!Sans Angst)
Summary: Dream, Ink and Blue have a talk.
This is only the first step in Dream getting the help he desperately needs, but Ink and Blue will always be there by his side.
Notes: 
I need to stop writing Dream angst and let him have love for once
Song title: first lyric of Trying Not To Cry by Cavetown
Warning for self harm, PTSD and depression. Reader discretion is advised. Please be safe while reading this and ignore it if you don't believe you are in the right head space for this. Your mental health is important <3
▪♦▪
"You're ignoring all your problems."
"I know." Dream internally sighs. They've been over this hundreds of times. His friends shouldn't have to waste their worry on him. He wasn't worth it, he really wasn't.
The problem is that Ink and Blue, for some reason, thought he was worth it. They were great like that. Sure, it was nice, and he appreciated that they worried for him, because that showed they cared.
But there was always that tiny voice, his own voice, at the back of his head, telling him he didn't deserve it. And that little voice was right. He didn't deserve one bit of worry or affection or fondness that his friends had for him.
He felt guilty, so incredibly guilty, that he was worrying them in the first place; the fact that he didn't deserve it made it worse.
"You haven't been sleeping again."
"I haven't. I'm sorry."
"And you've been overworking yourself. Again."
Dream doesn't muster up the energy to reply to Blue this time. The latter sighs, for some strange reason now feeling... uncertain? Odd. There's something else too. It's negative, that much Dream can tell, but he can't place it for sure. The name is there in the back of his mind but yet just out of his reach.
Dream tears his gaze away from the carpeted floor to look up at Blue who now seemed to be internally debating with himself, eyelights glowing brightly and pointedly avoiding Dream.
Ink is still leaning against the wall, fidgeting with his hands, looking just as uncertain as Blue does though that wasn't new; during these 'talks' Ink didn't trust himself to say much lest he say something wrong, not understanding feelings properly and all, so he always carefully thought over his words before talking.
Since he didn't talk much, he helped in a different way: providing physical comfort (Blue did this as well) in the form of hugs and sometimes kisses when Blue was finished lecturing Dream on his self care habits, and if he's doing okay, if he's sure he's doing okay, if he's been eating properly, if he's been drinking too much coffee or pushing his magic to the limit, no Dream that isn't healthy please don't do that again.
It's completely ordinary, yet there's something different about Ink's otherwise normal uncertainty and Dream can't place it.
Suddenly Blue looks directly at Dream, breaking the latter out if his thoughts, and the uncertainty and something else radiating off Blue in waves grows stronger, so much stronger.
"...How long?"
Dream blinks in confusion. "How long what?" he echoes.
Blue gestures toward Dream, or specifically Dream's black sleeves, glowing cerulean eyelights now directed back to the floor because of course the floor is the most interesting thing in the room. "How long have you..."
He trails off, but Dream knows exactly what he's talking about.
Internally, he panics, his soul plummeting into his boots. His friends weren't supposed to find out because they'd worry even more and how did they find out and Dream isn't ready to talk about this he doesn't think he'll ever be ready to talk about this and-
"Hey, hey, it's okay. We're not mad at you," Blue says softly, hugging Dream from the side when did Blue get here wasn't he just on the chair opposite Dream and something wet rolls down Dream's face.
"I'm sorry," he rasps, bursting into tears. "I'm so, so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-"
"Hey," Blue mumbles, shifting to be even closer. "It's okay, it's okay, Starshine."
Dream starts to sob into Blue's shoulder. Blue lets him, rubbing circles into his back all the while.
He shouldn't be crying.
He's the Guardian of Positivity. He shouldn't be crying he's supposed to be happy and positive all the time he's useless uselessuselessuselessuseless-
"Dream?" He's snapped out of his thoughts, thank goodness, when Blue calls his name, almost as if the other can tell what he's thinking. "Focus on me, okay?" He asks softly, sending soft pulses of magic through his hands to ground Dream. "It's alright, I'm right here with you. Neither of us are mad at you, it's okay. You did nothing wrong."
Ink had left the room. Dream hadn't noticed when.
He and Blue sit there in silence broken only by Dream's quiet sobbing for a while, or maybe it was five minutes. Dream didn't know.
Blue speaks up a few minutes after Dream's cries had died down and were replaced by quiet sniffling.
"How're you feeling?" Blue asks, rubbing circles into Dream's back. Dream hugs him tighter; he doesn't think he could speak without bursting into tears again.
He doesn't get a chance to say anything anyway, because at that moment Ink comes back into the room, holding the first-aid kit and a wet rag.
He didn't say anything as he sat down on the sofa on the other side of Dream, so that Dream was now sandwiched between Ink and Blue, though he did give Dream a reassuring look that, coming from Ink, said much more than words could.
Ink wordlessly undoes the teal leather clasp for one of Dream's sleeves, the tube of black cloth sliding off easily, and gently pulls off the glove from the arm, revealing the numerous cuts that ran up and down the arm in neat little lines. He slowly, gently, runs the cloth over the cuts, cleaning the dried blood, the newer ones stinging slightly and the older ones hurting with a kind of dull pain. Dream does nothing but numbly stare.
He repeats this on the other arm, frowning slightly when blood begins to well up from some of the most recent cuts that looked like they were made no later than a few hours ago. Once he's finished, he pulls out a cloth bandage from the first aid kit and wraps it around Dream's arms, tying it off into a loose knot and the end near the shoulder. Again he repeats this with the other arm, closing the first aid kit and setting it aside.
"I promise it wasn't... it wasn't you guys. I promise," Dream says, feeling as though his head were submerged underwater. Were they disappointed? They had every right to be disappointed, angry even, and even if Blue had said they weren't-
"It's okay, Dream," Ink says, finally saying something. "We're not mad, so don't worry 'bout it, Dreamy." He protectively wraps his arms around Dream's arm, pressing a kiss to the phalanges.
On his other side, Blue hugs him tighter. "From now on, come to us when you feel like this, and we'll help you feel better. Promise."
Ink grins. "Yeah! Nobody gets to be mean to my friend." He lets go of the arm and hugs him around the ribcage. "Not even himself."
Dream can't help the pained but genuine smile that forms on his face at the affection. He doesn't deserve- no. Don't think like that. They mean it.
"We're your friends," Blue says. "Family, even. We'll help you through this."
Dream thinks for a moment before the smile changes to a bright one, the one Ink and Blue knew, not the fake, polite one that he used when talking to other monsters. A real one.
"Thank you. For everything."
Even though Dream was still hurting, so, so badly, now he had people to hurt with. To support him when he didn't think he could stand alone.
There's hope for the future.
▪♦▪
Heya
So I wrote like the first 400 words when I was experiencing some bad thoughts (that I will not speak about. Please don't ask about it in the comments thanks) around 2 AM and decided to throw all of that onto Dream
And then the next morning I was going through my drafts and saw this (and it was kinda surreal to see it there because I was in such a different state of mind at the time I wrote it that the writing process felt like a fever dream) and thought "might as well continue it" So here have this :)
(Note: I never have seriously considered hurting myself, this was instead more or less just me taking my emotions and using them to hurt Dream. What he is feeling is not what I was feeling, or at least I wasn't feeling them to the extent he is feeling them. Again please don't ask about it in the comments. I won't answer.
Also: if you are struggling with these thoughts or emotions, talk to someone you trust. Get help, it may seem hard but it helps so, so very much. If you can't, I'm always open if you need someone to talk to, you're not alone and you'll get through this <3)
Nightmare and Dream's relationship at this stage is... complicated. Nightmare doesn't hate his brother, but says he does. He doesn't actively try to kill him and will go easy on him in battles if the other is tired, wounded etc. He worries about him, and still cares for him, though Dream doesn't know that.
Dream, on the other hand, is basically drowning; while Nightmare has finally found peace from his childhood, a family (the Dark Sanses) and has started healing a long time ago, Dream can't yet. After constantly being told that he only existed to serve others ever since he was a child, that his personal emotions and thoughts simply didn't matter, that people only gave him affection out of the goodness of their hearts and he didn't deserve it, that's enough to mess someone up. Combine that with the entire Apple Incident, being trapped in stone, waking up from a medieval world into a modern one that he has no understanding of, having extremely high expectations because he's the 'Guardian of Positivity', fighting with his brother after the last memory he has of him is the (extremely traumatising) Apple Incident, thinking that the entire Apple Incident was his fault (it wasn't), etc... yeah.
At first he had hope of reconciling with his brother but eventually he gave that up as well, accepting that Nightmare does and always will hate him. (He doesn't hate him. Dream doesn't know that though.)
This is canon to my multiverse so Dream is genderfluid, but at this stage they haven't figured that out yet
The Star Sanses have a queerplatonic relationship, but you can interpret this as Star Sans Poly or whatever you want.
In conclusion, the Dreamtale Twins' dynamic is just MMMMMmmmmmm
Until next time,
-The Author Mango
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pyroclastic727 · a year ago
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Amity and forgiveness
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Episode 15 showed Amity at the most expressive she’s ever been throughout this entire series. Above is a collage of a 11 expressions I’ve seen from her (there’s one accidental repeat but I didn’t save the document and I’m lazy), and in every single one of them, she is sad or scared. I love seeing Amity having an expression other than her Resting Blight Face, but I hate that that expression is a negative one.
A lot of the reason Amity was scared throughout this episode has to do with the fact that this is also the first time Amity messes up badly. I mean, she’s an arsonist now! And if that’s not bad enough, Luz is also going to see all the things she did to Willow, from Willow’s perspective: how she used Willow’s greatest insecurity to get rid of her friendship, 
This begs the question: why does Amity care?
I mean, if I committed arson on someone’s mind, while living in a magical place, I would be a bit panicked. But if it were my parents’ fault that I ruined my friend’s life, I would be apt to blame them, rather than blame myself for it. (I would also tell my friend about the ban). And I would never try to erase myself from someone else’s memory; if they met me, then they’re stuck with all the experiences I’ve given them. 
So why would Amity go so far as to burn herself away?
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I mean, this proves a lot of stuff. Sure, Amity is an arsonist, which is really cute. But arson is only cute when it doesn’t hurt someone. Amity’s arson was designed to erase herself completely from someone’s life. This means that there’s a strong part of her that believes that Willow would be better off if she had never met Amity. 
As someone who has gone through mental health issues, this is extremely concerning.
Amity doesn’t believe she is capable of being forgiven. 
Let’s analyze this. First off, there’s the fact that she sees hers and Willow’s memory hanging up and looks terrified. I would say her face drains of color but she’d have to have color to begin with. Regardless of that, she literally sees a memory, hanging up alone in a classroom. No one is even close to it, yet she knows that if anyone sees that, she’s toast.
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So then she decides to burn it?! As lovely as that is to mock, there is something deeply disturbing that she is more inclined to try to kill the memory of herself, and risk killing Willow. It’s practically self-h*rm symbolism, with how Amity intends to hurt herself but ends up emotionally scarring a bunch of other people.
Why did she do this? Because she doesn’t know forgiveness. All she knows is that, once Luz figures out, she’s going to be mad. She’s going to hate Amity. And she wasn’t wrong.
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But in Amity’s life, that’s it. All she gets is mistake and punishment. Every time she slips up, whether that’s with having a friend like Willow, or the library incident, or bad grades, you bet that she gets punished for it. Otherwise, why would she be so apt to delete herself from Willow? She doesn’t think Willow or Luz will ever forgive her.
Now let’s flash forward a bit. Even in Willow’s brain, Amity still tries to hide stuff. The hopeful part of her sees this as a date. I mean, Amity thrives in places away from her parents (the library, the Knee, Willow’s brain), and that’s where she tends to have romantic breakthroughs with Luz. Not to mention that she is all over Luz--hugging her, blushing at her, grabbing her hand, throwing herself at her. Amity wants this to be quality time with Luz, away from the rest of the world.
Of course, there’s still a big part of her that is seeing what’s happening with Willow and wants to hide it. She does her best to stop Luz from seeing her memories, getting to the point where Luz literally holds Amity back by the face (which is my favorite Lumity moment). She seems perfectly fine with large parts of Willow’s memory being missing. Even when faced with immediate danger, she needs Luz to literally push her into a memory, because she personally would be okay with burning away in Willow’s mind. 
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You can see, throughout it, how often she’s scared. The only times she smiles in this episode is when Luz is doing something to cheer her up.  As for the rest of it, she still thinks Luz is going to punish her.
It worsens at the end. When Amity has to face what she did to Willow, she’s terrified. She literally hides behind Luz, which would be extremely romantic if it weren’t for the fact that Amity was scared, and here on this blog we do not like when Amity is scared. 
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Furthermore, she lets Willow say her entire monologue before she refutes it. Amity is so used to punishment that it’s instinctual to let Willow reap her full emotional damage on Amity. And only then does she show that her parents made her do it, and she literally didn’t have another option. She was (mostly) innocent in this, and yet she still sat there and took the punishment. As someone who’s sought punishment for something I was innocent for, I can say that this was a force of habit, combined with some intense gaslighting on her part. 
Then isn’t it so poetic that Luz comforts Amity? I mean, look at this! 
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Luz literally says “I’m not here to judge.” Has anyone ever said that to Amity before? As a part of the popular clique, you bet that Amity is subject to constant judgment. When she gets home, she gets even more judgment. Even Edric and Emira are always looking for ways to embarrass her. Amity is constantly shamed and ridiculed and punished for her mistakes. For Luz to offer no judgment, no hard feelings, nothing but kindness and acceptance? It’s enough to make Amity’s walls come crashing down.
Of course, her walls can’t crash down for too long. Sure, Amity gets to keep her tiny hand wrapped around Luz’s when they first pop out of Willow’s brain. But it doesn’t last long. And then Willow wakes up, and Luz goes crazy. Calling her “my girl,” hugging her so hard that Willow will never forget her again.
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Meanwhile, look at Amity’s face! She’s devastated! This is the moment when she realizes: it doesn’t matter. Sure, Luz can say nice things. But in the end, it doesn’t matter. Luz doesn’t like her. She could hug Willow like she hugged Amity, with even more vigor than she gave to Amity. That’s because Amity will never be perfect, never be kind, never be enough for Luz.
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Or so she thinks, until she waves, and Luz waves at her slyly. And then Willow offers forgiveness, meaning that those two can interact at school. Once again, Luz proves Amity wrong, that she can be forgiven, and she really has nothing to be sorry for, because she’s allowed to make mistakes.
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stanknotstark · a year ago
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Astral Pt. 8 (Loki x Reader)
Ok guys they’re REUNITED! God i hope you all know that I wrote all 7 parts in one day because i was so obsessed with getting chapters out so i wouldn’t have to write them daily or lose my thoughts!! Ok well now i have some time to figure out where the story will go from here or if i end it here....
IM JUST JOKING it’s not over yet XDD it’s barely begun :p Feel free to send messages about what you think is gonna happen or who might make minor appearances, villain or hero, cuz i have some planned out! I’ve been doing research guys, i bought a marvel encyclopedia for the first time in years cuz i visited the store the other day and loaded up on comic books again it’s been awhile but my collection is growing again ^^
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You’re standing next to Natasha when the brothers drop down from the sky in their rainbow elevator thing. Thor called it the bifrost? It wasn’t something Loki had talked about when you had been on speaking terms, he must have not found it important enough.
The brothers landed outside on Stark’s glorified patio, 91 floors up. You almost forget to breathe as you look at Loki. His hair is a little longer now, he’s definitely lost some weight, and the bags under his eyes tell you enough. His face is cold as he looks around and, angrily, lets Thor lead him inside where you all stand in various places waiting on them. You note that both the brothers are dressed casually but it’s still a bit much, Earth wise. 
You swallow as Loki first sees Tony and smirks at him, “Seems I won’t be missing that drink you promised?” 
Tony gave him a once over then shrugged. “I guess you deserve a small break. Thor filled me in on what’s been going on.” Tony said, you thought you could hear a hint of a threat lacing his words though. Loki huffed and rolled his eyes looking at the rest of the team before his eyes landed on you. 
You looked into his eyes for what felt like hours but must have only been seconds. The angry look he had been parading in dropped and you saw a flurry of reactions so quick everyone else would miss it but you knew Loki. You try your best to keep your face disinterested, not quite sure if you succeed. Still a bit hurt he told you to never come back coming to the front of your mind you look away and whisper to Nat, “I gotta go, fill me in on what happens.” Then you rush out.
You hear Tony saying, “You already scared off y/n..” as you left the room. 
You basically run to your room and slam the door shut. Your breathing had started becoming haggard on your way up and only intensified as you closed yourself in your room. Both your hands gripped at your hair and pull, your eyes squeezed shut, tight. You shouldn’t be reacting like this it was Loki, it was just Loki. He wouldn’t hurt you, physically. You had thought that you were over whatever heartbreak you had all those years before. How the fuck were you to function normally around him if just one look at him made you this panicky? Made your heart beat so hard you thought it might break out of your ribs. Made you want to cry deliriously happy and sad at the same time. 
You let go of your hair, let your tears fall, and punched the wall a few times, hoping the pain in your hands would ground you. Luckily, it did, but you’d probably have to come up with an excuse because your knuckles were blooming dark purple. You took in deep breaths, copying what Loki had taught you to do when you got to worked up, subconsciously, the thought of him causing you to freak a bit more but then you just focused on breathing. 
It’s a few hours later when Natasha comes to your room and tells you dinner is ready. You had settled and had a book open in your lap as you sat on your bed. You consider skipping dinner and you’re about to say it when you see the look Natasha is giving you. She had been the one to teach you to over come your fears, to face them head on. She probably thought you were scared of Loki because he had tried to take over the world. Oh, how wrong she was. You nodded and told her you were gonna wear something else. She left you in peace and you sighed, rubbing a hand over your face then putting on your brave face and getting dressed in something casual. A simple t-shirt and jeans would suffice. 
When you entered the dinning room, a floor below yours, everyone was seated. Natasha had left you a seat. Right next to Loki. You swallowed and studiously kept your eyes anywhere but on Loki when you sat down. You realized Loki was very tense when you sat next to him but said nothing on the matter. 
“Brother! This is dear Y/n I mentioned, she’s got a quick wit just like you, I’m sure you both will be the best of friends!” 
You smiled at Thor but it probably came off as more of a grimace because Thor gave you a frown. Loki said nothing and focused on eating his food. The whole table got silent realizing something was up between you and Loki. You cleared your throat and tried to sooth things over by looking at Loki. His eyes caught yours and for a second you got lost in them, again. God, get ahold of yourself!
Mentally shaking your head you plastered a smile on and said, “Nice to meet you, Loki, I can’t wait to get to know you.” You finish lamely then quickly look at your food and begin stuffing your face so you wouldn’t have to speak anymore. 
“Riiiiiight.” Tony said eyeing you and Loki suspiciously. Steve sat next to him frowning at your attitude. You missed the silent conversation Natasha and Clint had. 
“You’re going to choke if you continue to eat like a bilge snipe that hasn’t seen food in weeks.” Loki said in a casual voice.
You choke. You swallow what is in your mouth, Natasha hitting your back a few times, and then you laugh. 
God you missed Loki. 
“Remember when you swallowed that moon berr-” Stopping yourself short you swallowed and closed your eyes, last seeing Loki’s happy look turn into a neutral face as he glances around at the team. Damn. 
“Remember? You two know each other?” Natasha asked, nudging you with her elbow. Thankfully you see she reserves her judgement on the situation. 
Sighing you look at the team and set your utensils down. 
“Loki is...” You shot Loki a confused look as if to ask if you still were but shook your head and continued on looking at Nat primarily, “We’re soulmates. I first met Loki when I was 13 years old.” 
“In person?” Steve asked.
“No, I can astral project my spirit but because I’m his soulmate it wasn’t hard it just kind of happened when I needed him most.” 
You picked up your glass of water, noticing you are shaking a bit. You especially tried not to jump when you felt Loki set a comforting hand on your thigh under the table. Taking a drink you looked at the table, took a deep breath, then let your eyes come back up to the confused team. 
“When you needed him most?” Tony asked after a few minutes of silence. 
Looking at Tony you bit your lip. Should you....
“My grandfather killed my grandmother in front of me when I was 13, I hid in my closet and closed my eyes, when I opened them I was in a room in Asgard.” 
“She was in one of my mental rooms that I use to astral project. A fabricated room I made when I was younger.” Loki said, his eyes only on you. 
“He was always there when something bad happened and we became best friends. I was 17 when I realized I had magic, his magic.” You said looking at Nat who looked confused. “Because we’re connected through our mind and soul, I draw my power from him. The powers I have are Loki’s in a sense but at the same time my own, I can do some things he can’t and vice versa.” 
“So if Loki just like, hypothetically, died,” Tony rolled his eyes when Loki glared at him, “Hypothetically! Would you lose your powers?” 
You swallowed as a knot formed in your throat and looked at Loki with sad eyes, willing him to answer because you surely didn’t have an answer for that. 
“Possibly.” Loki clipped out, sending a glare at Tony, as if damning him for making you think of that preposterous idea. 
Tony hummed in thought. 
“If you’re soulmates, why did she react the way she did when she first saw you?” Thor asked, mostly aiming the question to Loki. Loki looked at Thor, angry, then let out a breath and held his chin high. 
“We had a falling out three years ago.” 
“No doubt your fault?” Thor said causing Loki to nod once with a roll of his eyes. 
“No!” You yelled looking at Loki with exasperation. “I’m the one that chose to leave!” 
“I’m the one that gave you an ultimatum.” Loki ground out, frowning at you. 
“You were trying to keep me safe.” You said causing Loki to scoff. 
“Ok, wait, what happened so we can all choose our sides respectfully here?” Clint asked. 
“Shield found out about my powers when I was 17, said once I turn 18 they can give me an offer I can’t refuse. I could work for them. Loki said not to do it because it sounded like they were gonna use me as a weapon, that we knew nothing about Shield and what it stood for,” You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose with closed eyes, “I told him I was gonna take up their offer considering I had a bad home life, he argued Shield could be more dangerous and I told him I was still gonna take the offer anyways so he offered an ultimatum.” Letting your hand fall down to your lap and over Loki’s, still resting on your lap. You softly caressed his knuckles under the table. When you had closed your eyes, to pinch your bridge, you missed the concerned look Loki gave as he saw the violet bruises on your knuckles. 
“He said if I leave to never come back because he wouldn’t be able to watch me get hurt.” 
Tony breathed through his teeth, a hiss, but otherwise everyone stayed silent. 
“I left.” You finished lamely.
The table stayed silent for awhile, everyone gathering their thoughts and questions, until Steve spoke up. 
“After she left, what did you do Loki?” 
“I had Heimdal watch over her-”
“He is all seeing.” Thor said quickly to help out.
“-and I told him that if she were to find any trouble she could not handle to send me to her.” 
You looked up at Loki, shocked, who zealously kept his eyes on Steve. You offered what comfort you could by grasping his hand and squeezing. You smiled inwardly as Loki’s tense form softened slightly. 
“I’m taking it she never ran into trouble she couldn’t handle.” Steve said, more as a statement than a question.
“From what Heimdal has told me, joining Shield is the best thing to happen to her and I almost stopped that.” 
“You couldn’t have known.” You said quietly, frowning in thought, Loki finally looked down at you and your heart almost broke in half at the hurt in his eyes. 
“All you wanted was the best for me and I’m sorry I left,” You looked down and squeezing his hand before looking back up at his eyes, “I’m sorry I left and never tried to reach you again but I’m not sorry about the decision I made.” 
Loki looked at you for a bit then nodded, satisfied with something he found on your face or possibly in your eyes. “I’m sorry I never tried to reach out to you too.” Loki admitted.
You glanced at Thor who sat next to Loki, looking a little put out he never knew about the both of you. 
“Sorry we didn’t tell you Thor I kind of wanted to keep it a secret because I was going through a lot and wasn’t very trusting of strangers at the time.” You said to placate Thor, making the blame fall on you instead of Loki since their relationship was already rocky to begin with. A minor way you could apologize to Loki about not contacting him. 
Thor smiled, genuinely, then said “I’m just happy to make your acquaintance now, y/n.” 
Everyone went back to eating their almost cold meal now. Natasha and Clint the only ones that noted that you and Loki ate with one hand the entire time.
Conversations flowed between the team smoothly like you all were meant to be there, together. No one made any comments on the fact that you and Loki couldn’t keep your eyes off each other the entire time either.
Pt. 7/Pt. 8/?
Tag list: @justfangirlthingies @emelieh99  @high-functioning-lokipath​ 
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ttequilamockingbirdd · a year ago
Text
Twin Flames (Part 6 - Riven x OC)
Synopsis: Riven feels like he’s losing his mind when his pyromaniac has spent a good two weeks in her room and away from him. He blames himself, mostly for asking her if she was really okay when he knew better.   
Warning: swearing, past self harm, mental illness, implied sexual content
Words: 6,316
I’m over here with a glass of red with The Hunchbank of Notre Dame soundtrack in the background, writing this chapter. Hellfire gives me chills I swear. This is officially my go to to switch to Riven’s head and not Alex’s lmao, don’t ask why. I don’t know. It just is.
Part 5
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               ━─┉┈◈◉◈┈┉─━ Riven  ━─┉┈◈◉◈┈┉─━
I do hope you’re okay. Those five words plagued my mind, haunted me like a ghost that I’d wronged in the past and I couldn’t bare it. What the hell came over me for me to say that? I’d already given her the chance to tell me twice if something was wrong. She didn’t budge either time. I should’ve just fucking left it. Instead it was on my mind every single fucking moment of every single day that I didn’t see her. 
It had been seventeen days since then. Yes, I was counting. Yes, it was completely mental to do so, but I said something stupid and now I couldn’t find her anywhere. The few times I’d felt her presence, it had faded so quickly I figured she was running away from me. 
She was definitely running away from me. Bitch. 
“You keep spinning in that chair you’ll lose your mind,” his voice broke my thoughts and I stopped, resting my pencil against my forehead, twirling it between my fingers. I was already losing my mind.
“Thanks Sky, totally know about the correlation of sanity and spinning a fucking chair around,” I huffed, far from in a good mood. Where the hell was she? She couldn’t always be in her room. It wasn’t possible. She needed to get up at some point. At least for class.
“If you’d just tell me what’s wrong-“
“No,” I cut him off, a final end to the discussion. 
“Anyone ever tell you you’re really stubborn?” I chuckled, thinking about the redhead immediately. 
“Once or twice,” Alex thought so. I knew she did. Though she rivalled me in that regard. And she never gave up. I was close to certain she would’ve picked herself up again the other day to hit her sword with my own if I’d let her. But I wouldn’t let her. Not whilst she was so unwell. 
She’d lost so much weight since that night she’d nearly died. But she wasn’t dying anymore, so why did she seem so sick? I had no idea what was going on, and being left in the dark with her was something that drove me wild, sparking theories in my mind and worries far beyond what it probably was. Alex was probably fine. 
Probably wasn’t good enough for me. 
“It’s her,” I was snapped back to reality when he spoke, furiously shaking my head, absolutely adamant that he’d seen it all wrong. Of course I knew who he meant without a doubt. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“It means you like her, idiot,” Sky smiled, leaning back on his desk chair, almost victorious in his confession of his thoughts. 
“When hell freezes over, maybe,” did I like her? I’d never thought of it in that way. Not fully. I knew that I didn’t like her. I also knew when I hated her. But had I ever genuinely liked her? 
“I guess hell is frozen then,” I sigh, throwing my pencil onto my desk as I stood.
“She’s absolutely-“
“Insufferable? Yeah, you’ve mentioned that quite a few times, actually,” of course I had. It was possibly my favourite way to describe her. Insufferable summed her up so well, it didn’t require any further explanation. That’s simply what she was. That’s all she was. 
“Riv, you’re my best friend. You think I wouldn’t notice? Beatrix was right under your nose and you still didn’t budge after that one time,” he said, watching me move around the room in search of the knife I’d been given by her. 
“She wasn’t a great shag,” simple, that answers the question. No need to ask any more. 
“Is that the only reason?” I paused, leaning against the wall with my arms crossed. It hadn’t been bad sex, it just hadn’t been what I’d hoped to get out of it. Nothing about it fit the way it should’ve. The way it used to feel was a way to pass time, and I’d fully planned to have it be a simple past time throughout this whole year. 
Then she had to ruin it. 
When I started rummaging again, the dagger lay under a book in one of my drawers in its protective sleeve that I’d found in one of the storage rooms in which everything was kept. Most of it was to be given to first years when they started with nothing, but if any of us misplaced or used something in excess, we were always able to replace it. 
“What’s that?” Sky was right in front of me, reaching out to see the dagger in my hands. 
“Nothing. A knife,” I threw it on my bed, a poor attempt at trying to get it as far away from him as I could. I wasn’t sure why I felt such a need to hide it, but something made me wish to keep it to myself. It was mine, and I didn’t need to share it with anyone. 
“Doesn’t look like one of ours,” he looked down at it, narrowing his eyes as if it would sharpen his vision and allow him to see the intricacy of the handle and my initial. 
“It’s not,” Lazily reaching for a cigarette, I found myself fumbling with the lighter for way longer than I’d wanted. My fingers were uneasy, twitching as if in need of something. I had no idea what that something was, though, “fuck.”
“Doesn’t look very cheap,” Sky held it now, a wave of panic and a strange mix of fury enraptured me, and I tried my absolute best not to tear it away from him. 
“I know. That’s what I’m worried about,” I let out a breath of air, cigarette smoke evaporating into nothing, the only trace of it being the burnt tobacco scent.
“What, worried for your bank account?” He looked at me, a smile on his lips that seemed both amused and curious. 
“Not mine. Someones,” I said it with ease, like it didn’t matter, though obviously it must’ve or I wouldn’t have felt the urge to hide it. 
“Alex’s,” I groaned, falling back onto my pillow.
“Leave it alone,” I barked back, staring at the pale white ceiling with a lamp we rarely kept on. 
“Have you seen her?” The question made me still entirely. Everything ran back into my mind and I wasn’t sure on what to say. I’d felt her, I knew she was somewhere, but where? The few times I’d attempted to get into her room, I was always stopped. Either by Bree, or Stella, sometimes even Lauren, as I came to know her as. 
Someone always stopped me and normally I wouldn’t have it. The first and only time I’d seen her room, no one had stopped me, but suddenly all of them were adamant and at my throat and entirely too thrilled at the thought of using magic on me. 
I always left fuming, and I knew she felt that anger. Nothing in my head made sense. She wouldn’t let me see her, that was clear, but why? Was it really what I’d said that bothered her enough to push me away? Is this my twisted reward for genuinely wishing that she was fine? 
My fifth and final attempt at seeing her I remember the most. It hit me the hardest, cut me almost so deep I hadn’t wanted to come back. She felt utterly miserable, her own hatred and sadness pushed against me so strong I wanted to cry for her. And I never cried. I couldn’t remember the last time I fully let tears fall down my cheeks, but in that moment I wanted to curl up and fall down the same path as her own. 
Something was wrong, and I worried that something was me. Though nothing gave that away. All I could feel was her feeling a heavy pain, like she wouldn’t move anymore and nearly lay lifeless in her bed. It scared me how I felt that, how I knew, and of course I worried. 
I did care. 
That was the problem. I didn’t want to care. And the sudden realisation that I cared for someone who was hurting as much as her made me desperate to rid myself of it. So I hadn’t tried to see her again. In the past three days I’d tried anything in an attempt to not find myself back in front of her room. 
It was selfish, but I was a selfish person. If I didn’t want a reminder of her because it hurt, I’d simply avoid it all. 
“Riven?” Sky snapped his fingers in front of me, making me blink and realise he must’ve been waiting for an answer whilst I drifted deep into my mind. 
“Sorry, yeah, no I haven’t,” it was hard to hide how much I hated it, too. It’s like I didn’t even get a choice to see her. It just wasn’t even an option, though I was sure if I tried hard enough, I’d easily be able to push past those girls and get to her. But did I want to? The risk of having some stupid magic spell used on me felt simply too great. 
Though I knew what really held me back was her indescribable pain. It wasn’t a physical pain either, I would’ve known that and I probably wouldn’t have been as bothered by it. But this was complete mental anguish, a form of falling apart that I simply wasn’t able to piece back together. It wasn’t even my job to, and I knew she’d insist on the same, but somehow I still yearned to make it better. 
Not enough to actually see her again. 
“You think she’s okay?” No. She may have thought she could lie to me but I saw through it. Alex hadn’t been fine in a while, though I admired her desperate attempt at convincing me and everyone else otherwise. At first I hadn’t thought of it too much. She’d nearly died and it wasn’t entirely unexpected that she’d be shaken up by it, so normally I wouldn’t have pushed it. 
But then she’d gotten skinnier. In those two weeks of suspension she’d changed so drastically, I wasn’t sure I was looking at the same girl. If it hadn’t been for those eyes and the way she burned when I saw her, I would’ve perfectly well seen her as someone else. 
Alex wasn’t herself, and I didn’t want to admit to myself or her just how scared it made me. 
By now I knew she could probably feel me just as well as I felt her, and so every ounce of my being and every bit of energy I had went into her not knowing that I really did worry. I hadn’t even wanted to admit it to myself, let alone her, but seeing how frail she’d gotten under her clothes, how unhealthy and tired she’d been, that nestled deep into my lungs as if I couldn’t really breathe. 
But there was no way in hell I’d ever let her know that. 
And then there was the occasional pain on my arms. It started the night I’d last seen her. Right after, just as I’d laid in bed and twirled the knife between my fingers is when it first happened. It was sharp and cutting, tearing at my flesh as if I’d been bitten. I’d cried out, hissing and wondering if my burns were somehow getting worse, and Sky had thought the worst. 
When I looked, nothing had changed. There was nothing there aside from the developing scars of perviously burnt skin. My arm still throbbed, I could feel my heartbeat as if a fresh wound had been cut into it, and I had no idea what the fuck it had been. 
The second time I’d felt it, a part of me knew it was her. The only explanation I’d had, the only thing I understood was that something made me feel her. And somehow, without any possible explanation that made sense to me, that feeling of her became stronger the more I really knew her. 
The first few times that my eyes had found hers, I’d felt a warmth, and I’d felt whatever emotion that circulated her system and bloodstream at the time. But since that night outside with the very real threat of either of us dying, I’d felt her physical pain too, no matter how far away I was. 
And I just knew that biting pain in my arms was hers. Something was wrong. Something was hurting her and I had no idea what, nor did I know what to do to make it stop. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted it to stop. 
It was the only thing that fully reminded me that she was still there. The only time I knew without seeing her, that she wandered the halls and still existed was when something of hers rushed right through me. 
If it had to be her pain, I’d take it. Because at least she was still somewhere.
“I don’t know,” but I hoped so. It kept me up at night, and if I’d fall asleep, nightmares ran through my head in which she died. The burned one had hurt her and it ran all the way to her heart, and suddenly she was no longer breathing. I hadn’t saved her.
I was almost relieved to wake up from the feeling of another bite. As if she knew I was having a bad dream and she bit into me to tear me away from it. I could’ve almost thanked her for it. 
And there it was again. It was so sudden and I hadn’t been expecting it. It was worse than usual too, far worse, and I screamed. 
“Fuck, Jesus Christ,” my body curled in on myself before I could stop from doing so, my eyes stinging, though I fought against letting any tears fall. I tore at my own skin, nails digging deep enough, as if causing myself pain would make it all stop, distract me enough to make it go away. 
It didn’t. 
“Riven, stop!” He tore my hands away from my arms, and I hadn’t realised the blood that trickled down until he brought me back to it. It had never been this bad before, and my eyes widened considerably at the realisation. 
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I don’t know,” it was honest and pained, a lot gentler than my voice usually was. What was happening? 
“I can ask for bandages. Do you want some painkillers?” I nodded, though as soon as he did and the door closed, something snapped in me. I remembered all too suddenly what I’d seen in her room. 
How could I forget? Her medicine. It had been right there. Her anti-depressants and something else. 
“Shit,” I tripped over my own legs with how fast I was moving to my desk, throwing my laptop open with such force I could’ve easily broken it. My pain was left entirely forgotten. 
I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of this earlier. I couldn’t have been that daft to have this slip my mind so easily. 
Her medicine was an obvious indicator that something was up. Something I hadn’t thought I should ask when I’d seen it and somehow completely forgot about, but now it was right there. Right in front of me, and I felt so incredibly stupid for not thinking of it earlier. 
Anti-psychotics. I frowned, grabbing a notebook I usually left empty or with very lacklustre notes, one of the recent corners torn from where I’d written her a note. Well, as recent as two weeks. I’d never wanted to understand anything more though. 
Sky came back at some point, though I barely paid attention to the bandages and pain killers he’d laid beside me. I was distracted, not even looking at the harsh red marks laid along my skin as I wrapped them away from view and pulled my sleeve back down. The screen of my computer had me captured, as if I needed to understand every last thing.
I barely begun to understand it though. There was an endless list of possibilities to explain why she took them in the first place, ranging from major depressive disorder, all the way to bipolar and schizophrenia. And I wasn’t necessarily well versed in that world, though she clearly was. Clearly there was something I’d never really thought to think of fully until now. 
“Why the hell are you researching borderline personality disorder?” He startled me, leaning over my left shoulder with a curiosity equal to my own. 
“Fucking hell!” I slammed my computer shut, a reflex to keep everything hidden from view. Although this was my best friend and I knew I didn’t necessarily have to react so strongly. 
“It’s… I’m just trying to figure something out. Getting nowhere,” I sigh, intertwining my fingers over my stomach as I let them rest there. I’d opened the screen again, staring at every piece of information that was thrown at me. I doubted this is what she had, though then again how was I to know? And I wasn’t exactly about to ask what plagued her mind and fed her inner demons. It felt disrespectful, even for me. 
“Riven, you do know you can tell me anything, right?” I spun the chair towards my best friend, seeing him sat on his own again, eyes staring right at me. I felt exposed, like he was trying to read something dark that I hid from the world. Though this wasn’t my own secret, it was hers. And I needed to protect that even more. 
“I know, Sky,” he nodded, watching me turn back to my screen. And suddenly as I scrolled through a list of anti-depressants, something dawned on me. 
“Sky?” 
“Hmm?” I looked at him, hesitating before I spoke up. It felt too private, but I needed a second opinion, even when I already knew. 
“If someone’s taking medication and they suddenly stop, do you think it works similarly to withdrawal symptoms?” But he barely needed to answer. My fingers typed faster than he spoke, already scanning through an article with just the question I’d asked. 
“I would assume. Depending on what it is, yeah,” dizziness, vomiting, depression, it was all there. Right there. I'd been so fucking blind.
She’d stopped taking her medicine. It was the only answer I had that explained what was happening right down to the bone. 
“I gotta go,” I didn’t let him respond, my feet carried themselves across the halls as I pushed through people. A need to get to her ignited me to move faster, running up the stairs and to her dorm. And it didn’t matter that I’d not wanted to see her anymore. If any part of me was remotely right, I needed to make sure she was okay. No part of me wanted to even think about what it could mean if I really wasn't wrong. 
I’d never wanted to be more wrong in my life. Not as I pushed the main door open, ignoring both Bree and Lauren, though they weren’t as quick to return the favour. 
“Riven, we’ve been over this,” Lauren started, already getting up to move towards me. I wasn’t having this today. 
“I know. Okay? I fucking know you don’t want me here. I don’t even entirely want to be but-“
“But nothing. She doesn’t want to see anyone. Especially you, I’m sure,” I really hated Lauren. I didn’t care for her, nor did I care for Bree when her eyes told me enough about her to know that she hated my guts. I hated hers equally. 
It was a very different hatred from the one I felt for Alex. That hatred was conflicted, as if not entirely true though very much there. It was a hatred fuelled by emotions I didn’t want to experience but ones she gave me anyway, and it drove me absolutely crazy. But my dislike for Bree and Lauren were entirely different. 
“Why especially me?” I snarled, eyes narrowing as I looked between them both. And then suddenly she awoke. I knew she did because I felt it. It’s like she hadn’t been there and now she was, aware that I was here, near her. 
And I could feel her relax. 
“Riven-“
“Please,” I started, startling them both. It wasn’t a word I used a lot if ever, so I knew the shock from it had to take a minute or two to seep through and be processed, “I’m asking you, just let me. If she kicks me out, fine, but you don’t decide that.”
They shared a look, Bree moving first. Lauren followed her movements, although her displeasure was evident in how she moved away. I knew that look, the one in which you admit defeat but you’re too stubborn to fully accept that you’re losing. 
What I hadn’t expected was for them to leave the room entirely. Suddenly it was just me, staring at the wooden door as if I wasn’t quite sure if I should really reach for it. 
It took me a while until I knocked, disrupting the quiet and emptiness of the common room they shared. 
There wasn’t any answer, and if I didn’t know better I would’ve assumed I was all alone. 
“I know you’re in there,” I swallowed, hesitating on my words. It didn’t feel like my place to be, like I had no right to stand here. If she wanted me near, I would’ve already been. As hard as I’d deny it, I’d be there if she’d asked. She just never did, “you and I both know I feel it.” 
Hesitance. It rushed over us both like a shared emotion that meant very different things to me and her. It wasn’t exclusively my own, nor was it hers. We both weren’t sure of what I was doing. 
“I’m not going to ask,” I tried, staring down at my feet, “but I know you’re not okay,” and it’s scaring me.
She scared me. And it wasn’t just a fear of how she made me feel everything at once. It was a fear for her, emphasised with how I could feel exactly what was spiralling around in her head. Everything she couldn’t suppress rushed through me too, and it was agitating, a horrible feeling but one I couldn’t get rid of. I knew I couldn’t get rid of her in my mind anymore. 
I had to accept that she was a part of me, somehow, in a way I could never even begin to understand. 
“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to maybe get out a little? We can try some sparring? I know the weather sucks but when has that ever stopped you from kicking my ass?” I felt her warmth move within the room. Like tiny little fires. A part of me assumed she was right in front of the door now. As if she wasn’t sure wether or not she wanted to let me in, but the thought crossed her mind for just a moment. 
I smiled, leaning my arm against the door as my head rested against my forearm. This wasn’t exactly something I was good at. I couldn’t comfort people. I never did. Even when my own best friend had bad days, I’d often find myself running off or weakly telling him I hoped it’d get better. But I’d never quite meant it like I did now, standing alone in a room too large for just one soul, with her right there on the other side. 
“You’ve stopped taking your medicine,” I said it as a statement though the question of wether or not I’d been right lingered in the air. There was still the off chance that I’d read it all entirely wrong. 
The door opened and I stumbled forward, seeing her hide a laugh though her eyes still showed her amusement. She looked so tired, the bright orange hoodie that I’d seen on her before seemed to devour her entirely, which I knew it hadn’t the first time. 
Something was out of her control. And I couldn’t begin to pretend like I understood when I didn’t, but I wished I could. And I hoped that with her opening the door, a part of her was letting me understand it. 
“I’m sorry-“
“You don’t need to be. Just stop hiding in your bloody room. If I have to be around Sky any longer I may completely lose the plot,” she winced, and for a second I wondered if I’d said the wrong thing and that she was about to slam the door in my face. 
Instead she moved back, going inside her room though leaving the door wide open, as if welcoming me in. I took a second, testing the waters, seeing that not much had changed since I’d last stepped foot in here. 
The only difference really was that the girl it held had changed entirely, a faint version of who she’d been. I didn’t necessarily perceive her as weak, though broken was certainly something I thought when I saw her. 
What had made her break? Was it that night in the woods? 
I wouldn’t blame her if that was it. It had been bad enough for me, but she was the one at risk. That would take its toll on anyone. A brief wonder of why she hadn’t reached out to anyone crossed my mind. Surely some adult working here could do something.
She’d probably reject the idea though. If I was to believe I knew her just enough, she didn’t seem the type to admit that she needed someone to help her. Alex always picked herself up, it was evident whenever I practiced with her. Every kick that made her fall made her twice as likely to get up to hurt me back. 
Her medicine was gone. It no longer sat at her desk and I knew without her having to say it that I had been right. I must’ve been right. 
That explained almost everything, and I was relieved to know it probably hadn’t been me.
“Is Sky really that bad?” Her voice broke me free, my eyes looking into her own. The candles in her room lit up, as did her shoulders, reminding me of wings that fairies once had had. 
“After a while, yeah,” too much of anyone was bad. Even too much of her. That’s why I couldn’t handle her well. From the very first day I’d laid eyes on her, she’d gotten into my head like a constant ringing, always there and eventually excruciatingly annoying, way too intense for me to deal with. 
Then I got used to it. And now I wasn’t so sure what to think of her anymore.
“Aren’t a bunch of Specialists out training?” I nodded, standing in the corner by her desk whilst she put on a pair of leggings. Her scars faded from view, though the reminder of them were still there. 
Her hair was unbrushed, pulled up into a bun that sat incredibly loose, and her face was free from any make-up, revealing the sleepless nights to me with a vulnerability I hadn’t thought she’d show me again. Though it may also have been the effort it required and the exhaustion she felt that made her not bother anymore. 
I wished she did. Not because she needed anything to hide herself under, but because the effort of doing so meant she was more alive. 
“Is it cold?”
“I think your hoodie is warm enough,” she threw the jacket she’d grabbed back onto her chair next to me, standing before me to indicate she was ready. 
Alex was so close to me now. 
There were days where she would’ve avoided this. Those little fires made her shrink away from me, but here she was and if I’d wanted, only a step would’ve let our chests touch. 
“What will you tell Silva?” The girl walked past me and out her door, as if a newfound energy had brought her to life. I wasn’t so sure what had changed so suddenly, but seeing her more awake wasn’t something I’d be complaining about. Something still bothered her, I could tell it did, for the way she moved felt heavier than usual and the flames she exuded felt harsher whenever my eyes found hers. 
“I don’t plan to tell him anything. We don’t need the training grounds,” I placed my hands in my pockets of my own sweater, following her out into the halls. She turned back to look at me, quizzical in the way her brows raised, as if asking me to elaborate. 
“We’ve got a maze, don’t we Pyro?” 
She led the way without another word, pulling her hair out of her bun as we moved, eventually coming to a complete stop once we stood before it. 
“You know I’ve never been in here,” I chuckled, stepping ahead of her. It had been a short distance from the school, though both our hair was already soaked. I should’ve told her to bring her jacket, though the weather was a strange mix of warmth with cold rain and a light breeze. I’d assumed she wouldn’t need it for something physical.
“Well, I won’t let you get lost. As much as I would love to see that,” my words were teasing, and I noticed the way she rolled her eyes as I held my hand out to her. She could tell I hesitated, and I knew she knew why. The brief panic came from how she’d hurt me, and I wasn’t so sure if I should really reach out to her.
And she wasn’t so sure she should take it either, the reason being the same as my own. The girl before me didn’t want to cause me any more pain. The thought warmed me. 
I’d begun pulling my hand back to walk away, though her fingertips grazed mine and my entire being froze. She reached for me, lazily at first before her touch became more firm, letting her fingers slip between my own. Her touch was warmer than would be normal, but I’d come to know that as a fire fairy, she’d always be a lot hotter to the touch. Sometimes too hot, though the slight stinging she gave wasn’t enough for me to take it back.
I pulled her along, feeling her eyes burn into me whilst her hair moved with the wind, occasional flames sparking away with the breeze before reigniting the red strands that fell below her waist.
“Here’s fine,” I stopped and her hand left mine as she moved forwards, making everything go back to how it was before. The weather felt a lot colder now though the temperature was the same, and I found how I missed her touch. Her hand had fit just right between my own, small but sure in her grip as I’d pulled her along. 
She’d trusted me not to get her lost. And whilst it might’ve only been in a maze near our school grounds, it still meant something that she’d followed me blindly. 
“I assume you’re thinking hand to hand combat?” Alex paced back and forth as if a surge of energy bubbled beneath the surface and she needed to finally release it before she’d burst. 
“Do you see any weapons?”
“Don’t try to play smart,” I sent her a grin, having waited for the moment she’d pick up on the teasing again. I’d missed it so much, the way her voice laced with something rough danced beautifully around the words she spoke to me. 
“I know we use weapons a lot during practice but this is just as important,” she nodded along, watching as I changed my stance. I could tell she was curious, genuine intrigue on her quizzical yet entrancing face. 
“Tackle me,” I demanded, and I saw her entire face morph into disbelief.
“I’m sorry?” 
“You heard me. C’mon Pyro. Or are you worried you can’t do it?” That did it. She came at me within seconds of the words leaving my mouth, and I only just about managed to move away, reaching for her upper arm, pulling her back to me before I wrapped my own arm over and around her chest to have her close. A brief fear rushed through her, though I brushed it off as surprise more than a worry.
The hedges started to burn as soon as I trapped her. Fucking hell, this girl really couldn't help herself.
“How would you get out of my grip?” Alex didn’t struggle. She was thinking, and I could tell she was really considering how she’d go about it. I felt proud at her willingness to learn, and her eagerness to one up me every single time no matter what. 
I let her think and ponder her next move whilst I went through every scenario and possible outcome in my head so I could be ready for whatever she chose. 
“Riven,” That did it. Hearing my name made me lose my grip on her, just enough for her to turn and reach for my legs with her hands. I fell back hard, watching how she stared down at me victoriously. I wanted to be angry. A part of me was furious at how easily this girl had done it, but the other part wanted to beg and plead to hear my name again. 
The way she said it, the few times she did, it was something otherworldly. I couldn’t explain what it did, but I presumed it worked similarly to how my eyes worked for her flames. The flames that had thankfully stopped burning around us, now sat perfectly on her shoulders. 
“This is quite fun, you know? Seeing you down there.”
“Don’t get used to it,” I got up, dusting myself off whilst she watched me. She’d shut herself off from me. Her emotions weren’t something I felt in that moment, and I wondered how much of her energy she spent trying to hide them. 
As much as she tried though, her hair always gave her away. It was a visual representation of her secrets. The same secrets that revealed her lack of control. 
She was still without a doubt, terrible at it. 
I didn’t give her a warning when I ran to her, making her let out a shriek as she scrambled away from me. I laughed, seeing her figure disappear around one of the hedges, going deeper into the maze. 
“You’re not meant to hide from me, Pyro! Defence, remember?!” I called after her, but the girl was gone. All I could hear was her laugh and feel her fires, leaving a trail of ashes that showed me where she’d went. Like she wanted me to find her, giving herself away. 
I was really running after this girl in terrible weather in a maze.
Alex really did things to me. The fact that I didn’t mind running after her said it all. I was so okay with it, it felt peaceful and so easy and suddenly my emotions felt far calmer. It wasn’t as bad, being bound to her when she was happy. And happiness like this I hadn’t fully felt from her ever. 
It was very brief, like she hadn’t wanted to feel it herself and so she tore it away again, replaced it with how hurt she truly was, but that moment was enough to make me realise I really didn’t mind this anymore. Not in the way I used to. 
It’s not like I could change it. As much as I had tried, something always pulled me back in, and I didn’t doubt that something was her and who she was. 
“You’re terribly slow,” suddenly she was back in front of me, pout on her lips like a child who didn’t get the toy they wanted. Seeing her like this, so carefree after two weeks of complete isolation, it made me want to kiss her. 
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. 
“I fucking hate you Pyro,” she grinned wide, tiptoeing on her feet as she swayed. Alex knew I didn’t mean it, not fully anyway. Not anymore. My voice told the lie terribly and she saw right through it. 
What she said next took my breath away. As if I’d never heard a confession more beautiful than this. 
“Well, I don’t hate you. Not entirely,” she fell silent, a blush on her cheeks as her eyes were brought to a leaf, as if she couldn’t bear to see my response. Not that I quite knew what to say back. My heart felt like it had stopped, like I’d longed to hear her admit that I wasn’t all too bad, despite how I pushed her to limits she was always more than willing to reach and go above. 
She always fought back with what I gave. Every ounce of attitude she could mirror, creating a push and pull that was as frustrating as it was beautiful. 
And I realised right there as we stood in the rain that my dislike of her had danced a dangerous line with the fondness I’d developed. She was, like Sky mentioned I liked to say, absolutely infuriating and insufferable. But there was something about how she carried herself around me, like she’d always been willing to challenge every part of me with a harshness I never quite knew I’d needed until she gave it. And I hated it for a while.
She stood there, her hands in her pockets as she bit her lip, hair matted down and wet with her cheeks a rosy pink with those freckles that she rarely revealed, and I knew why I’d really hated her. 
I liked her. And I liked her a lot.
                                            ━─┉┈◈◉◈┈┉─━
Part 7
How do we all feel about Riven finally realising he likes and cares about her? It’ll definitely be interesting now… though they ain’t about to get together, sorry. Ya’ll should be happy he even admitted it now, I almost feel like he’s thought it too quickly lmao.
I’m worried about him seeming out of character in this chapter, like he’s not angry enough. But I just can’t have him be completely bitter forever... though don’t fear, he’ll get bitter again for a lil.
Side note I’m pretty sure Freddie Thorp who plays Riven has a weird mix of green eyes with some blue tones if the images I’ve seen is anything to go by, but I’m not gonna skim through 6 chapters to change the blue to like idk a green blue mix? Maybe I will eventually but for now let’s just pretend they’re fully blue. His eyes are insane though, I’m so jealous. 
Someone confiscate my wine…
Anyway… tag-list xx let me know if you wanna be added :)
@motheroffae​ @possiblefantasies @amlocked @cullenswife @carliewinchester @andie-kathleen​ @snarkysharkysayshiya​ @lulbabes​ @claudiamoscatoo @chaeschaea
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anonymousfiction211 · 10 months ago
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Give it time: ch3
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A/N: I got in the flow and decided to write the last chapter anyway. Enjoy :)
Click here for chapter 1 Click here for chapter 2
Helping a ‘friend’ ‘Hey, (Y/N). You’re up early’ Steve greeted her, happy to see her without the egotistical God by her side.
‘Morning Steve’ she said with a hint of sadness in her voice. Something was wrong, he could tell.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked. He was hoping that Loki would have slipped yesterday and that they had a fight. If they had broken up, it surely would make reaching his goal easier. He felt a little bad about manipulating her, it was not something he would normally do. But she was too oblivious to see that Loki is bad for her, she deservers better, much better.
‘Can we talk for a moment?’ she asked him.
‘Of course!’ he replied, he was growing anxious. Maybe Loki had said or done something to paint him in a bad light. He had to admit that it was extremely difficult to manipulate the God, or outsmart him. He followed her to the living room where they sat down on the couch. Steve immediately noticed the distance between them, which was larger than usual.
‘You know that Loki has some trouble with us hanging out. And last night it became worse. So, I think it is best to maybe keep some distance between us for some time. At least until Loki sees that there is nothing going on’ she told him.
‘(Y/N) if that’s what you really want, of course! I can’t say I will not miss you, but I never want to come between the two of you’ he replied, trying hard not to grit his teeth or to let the disdain of Loki show.
‘Yeah, I’ll miss you too. But I think I need some time to work on the relationship. We soon will be taking some time of to go away for a weekend. And after Loki is comfortable it all will go back to normal’ she smiled.
‘It’s always a good idea to work on your relationship. But if I can be honest, I am starting to grow a little concerned’ Steve replied, hoping to cause some doubt in her mind about the relationship.
‘Why?’ she asked.
‘Well, what if he never comes around? What if instead of working through his issues he just finds another guy to be jealous of? I mean, he is basically deciding who you can and can’t hang out with and I don’t think that is right. That shouldn’t happen in a healthy relationship. He has nothing to worry about, but what if one day there is a guy he should worry about? What will he do then?’ She explained.
Steve saw the wheels in her head turning. She probably would go through with the plan she had, but he knew in the back of her mind these words would linger. ‘Like I said, I don’t want to come between the two of you. But maybe something to watch out for’ he added, before it became too obvious what he was trying to do.
‘Eh.. yeah. Thanks for your concern, I’ll watch out’ she hesitantly replied, still deep in thought about his words.
‘But I have one favour the ask’ he said.
‘I actually have a date next week and I wanted to cook risotto. Your favourite if I’m not mistaking. And I was hoping I could practice tonight and you would eat with me? Tell me if it is any good?’ he asked.
‘Oh, ehm.. I don’t know with Loki..’ she started, but Steve interjected.
‘I know, but you know I can’t go to anyone else for this. Loki has to go on a mission anyway and will be gone. He never has to know! And after that you can work on your relationship. Please, I really need your help’ he whined putting on his best puppy-eyes.
He saw that she became uneasy, finding it hard to reject him. ‘Oh okay, but only if Loki is still gone and he doesn’t find out. It will be one of the last things we will do together for some time.’
‘Yes of course! Thank you so much (Y/N)’ Steve replied happily. All right, one down, one more to go he thought.
After the conversation she went off to work. They would meet at dinner time in the kitchen and eat there. Steve had already bought everything he needed for tonight. He would cook, reminisce and the two of you would drink some wine. Hopefully her guard would be down and then the tricky part. He had to plan his next move the moment Loki figured out what was really going on. Thinking of Loki, Steve needed to get him away from her for the rest of the day.
After waiting for a while Loki finally made it out of bed. Steve had to supress a grin when he saw how hung-over he was.
‘Good morning, Loki’ Steve said with a loud voice.
Loki flinched and really didn’t look happy to see Steve.
‘What do you want’ he grumbled while making some coffee for himself.
‘I have a mission for you’ Steve said.
‘What is it?’ Loki snapped.
‘We suspect that some of our opponents are using a form of magic we never encountered before. I was hoping you would go to the Sanctuary and find out everything about it. Since you are the one with the most knowledge about magic’ he explained, hoping to distract Loki with some flattery. Loki was intrigued and Steve started to tell him all he knew. It was true that there were rumours about this, but it was probably false. Anyway, it could wait months before they researched it but he needed Loki gone for today. He had figured that the best way to manipulate the God is not by lying, but by telling the truth and implying. That way Loki had a feeling he was lying, but could never be sure.
‘That is going to take all day…’ Loki grumbly replied when Steve was done talking.
‘I know, but it is important to know. Plus, maybe it would take your mind off things with (Y/N)’ he said.
That cleared Loki’s head and Steve knew he had to be careful know and do it exactly as rehearsed.
‘What do you mean?’ Loki growled at him.
‘Oh sorry, I thought she had told you’ he replied. Not a lie, he actually expected her to tell Loki about their dinner tonight.
‘We spoke this morning and I told her that I didn’t want to come between the two of you. But I invited her to dinner tonight. She probably didn’t tell you because she doesn’t want to worry you. I mean, it probably means nothing, but you know about our history’ he said. It was word for word the truth, maybe in the wrong order. But it implied a whole different story than what happened this morning.
Steve was startled when Loki grabbed him by his throat and pinned him to the wall behind him. For a moment he forgot that Loki, even tough he was good now, was still a very dangerous person if he was angered. Loki started to rant about all the ways he would kill him if he ever lay his eyes on her.
‘You know she would never forgive you if you killed me’ Steve reacted to Loki’s rant.
With a growl Loki let go of Steve’s throat. ‘Look, if you want you can confront her. Just come by tonight’ Steve said.
Loki narrowed his eyes at him. Probably trying to figure out what game Steve is playing. This was not something Loki saw coming.
‘FINE’ he growled. ‘I see the two of you at six’ he angrily added.
‘Actually, it would be better if you were here at seven’ Steve replied. Carefully picking his words, trying not to reveal the fact that she would be here at six.
At dinner Steve had cooked and she arrived right on time. He had only an hour before Loki would be back and storm inside. He needed to execute his plan right before he could, otherwise she would find out about his manipulation. He was smart enough to have a camera in the hallway which he monitored from his mobile phone. Giving him a head start when Loki would arrive. Currently he was focusing on her telling stories. The two of them were laughing and drinking. After about half an hour he was reminiscing about the past, dropping subtle hints about their last date.
He was still slapping himself mentally for not giving her a chance then. When he finally saw how amazing she was, she just started to date Loki. The thought angered Steve, but after tonight he would have time to win her over. And he was not going to let her go, it would be the best for everyone involved. Even though his methods were questionable, it was the right thing to do.
Every time her wine glass was empty he filled it back up again. He needed her reaction time to slow down and needer her off guard. Five minutes before seven he saw Loki angrily walking through the lobby. So, Steve said his plan in motion.
‘(Y/N) if you don’t mind I need your help some more’ he started. He scooched closer against her and grabbed her hand. He looked into her eyes and met her half-drunk gaze. The door swung open, he grabbed the back of her head and kissed her. With one eye open he saw the hurt expression on Loki’s face. For a split-second Loki froze, before storming away. (Y/N) pushed herself away from Steve.
‘What the hell?’ she yelled.
‘I’m sorry. It’s just I really wanted to kiss her and my last kiss was you. So, I wanted to know, you know what to do’ Steve quickly explained.
He saw her angry expression, he needed to distract her. He needed her heartbroken so he could be there for her. ‘I think Loki just saw us’ he said.
He watched her expression change from anger to shock. She quickly stood up and ran towards Loki’s bedroom. Steve slowly walked after her. He heard her call Loki’s name, it sounded like she was crying. It broke his heart, but it needed to be done. She needed to be free of him. He walked into the bedroom to saw her pace around frantically with a note in her hand. She was still crying. He took the note from her.
I can’t believe I ever trusted you
Steve had to supress an eye-roll. Loki was always too dramatic for his taste. Both of their head turned towards the yard when they heard a familiar sound. She ran past Steve to the yard and he followed her again. When he caught up with her she was sitting on her knees in the middle of the burned grass. Steve immediately recognized the pattern. Loki had taken the Bifrost and was gone, just like Steve expected that he would. He slowly walked beside her and sat down on his knees too.
‘I’m so sorry (Y/N). I never meant for this to happen! As soon as I can, I will talk to Thor and tell him about what happened’ Steve started to comfort her. He pulled her closer against his chest, she was still sobbing. She was so wrapped up in her pain that she couldn’t see what was really going on. Steve meant what he said. As soon as Thor would be back he would explain himself, knowing that Thor was probably livid with Steve after hearing Loki’s version of events. But Thor wouldn’t be in Asgard for another three months, so he would be back here in about four months. Which gave Steve four months to make (Y/N) forget about Loki and to start dating her. He would make Loki the bad guy in the story, after she believes him Thor would too. Then Loki would just look like the jealous ex-boyfriend. Making Loki the bad guy isn’t that hard, he is the God of Lies after all he thought while comforting (Y/N). They sat like that for a while. And Steve couldn’t help but feel relieved that Loki was far away, while she was in his arms.
Permanent tag list: @delightfulheartdream @the-best-phineas @theaudacitytowrite @pescadoavocado @theestorm​
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remmushound · a year ago
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Not a request, but a random bonding idea I came up with for my one-shots, so enjoy!! @assanmaharielsreblogs
Michelangelo was making dinner like he always did. While the brothers frequently indulged themselves in pizza and other fast food, that was usually a lunch thing for them. Breakfast and dinner always fell to Michelangelo, just how he liked it. On the odd occasional Michelangelo was hurt or sick or exhausted from a long night out on a mission— too exhausted to get up early or too tired to make dinner— Splinter or Leonardo always substituted (though Leonardo’s substitution was almost always takeout he tried to pass as his own cooking, even when Donatello’s cash count said otherwise. Leonardo always left a generous tip.) Splinter’s cooking wasn’t bad, but it was always some obscure, vaguely familiar dish from his heritage, such as unagi or tempura, that they almost never had all the right ingredients for. Splinter’s supplementation for the missing supplies never really turned out right, though he insisted it tasted just like the real thing. Still, if finances allowed, Donatello always made sure to splurge on supplies at the end of the month so that their father could make the dishes properly and bring some joy to his life. Something to hold onto from his human days.
One time, he remembered, Leonardo had a complaint about the dish Splinter had presented (hiyashi chūka, if Michelangelo was remembering right) and Splinter just about blew a gasket.
“You will eat what I served you..” the old, angry rat had said to his then twelve year old son, “...or you will eat nothing at all!”
Michelangelo carried a similar mentality into his cooking, though he’d always switch to Doctor Feelings before dinner to get everyone’s recommendations, and if they still complained even after the alterations were made, then Doctor Delicate would come out to play.
“Not all of us have your iron stomach, dad.” Twelve year old Leonardo had argued back to his father, to which Donatello had added:
“Only one of us did, actually.”
Then all eyes had turned to thirteen year old Raphael, who was onto his third bowl and was absolutely demolishing it with a savage, starving ferocity.
“RAPH STILL HUNGRY!” The teen had spat before throwing one of their good bowls at the wall, which earned him a time out (and also more soup to keep him content).
But that was then, and this was now. Michelangelo was cooking a new recipe— a four cheese ravioli with marinara sauce and pepperonis. He remembered the New Brothers asking about something called Pizza Gyoza and he wanted to try it out for himself. It didn’t take him long to realize he was being watched. Still with a smile on his face, he turned to meet the spy.
“Hey!”
Mikey gave a yelp and tried to shrink back out of view around the corner. Michelangelo frowned and tilted his head as he left the ingredients to go investigate.
“Hey.” He repeated again, holding a patient hand out to his counterpart, “didja wanna help?”
Mikey seemed surprised by the offer. “I’m not a good cook.”
Michelangelo shrugged. “And I don’t know how to play the tuba— doesn’t stop me from practicing every Sunday night! Just ask Donnie.”
Mikey laughed, and it made Michelangelo smile to see the other him not so scared anymore. Through the laughter, Mikey sputtered out words that Michelangelo couldn’t quite make out, but it seemed to bring the speaker joy so he didn’t mind.
“So?” Michelangelo prompted after the giggle fest had run its course.
Mikey gave a few last giggles before he was still and sad once more. “Are you sure...? You don’t think I’ll ruin it?”
Michangelo took the older turtle around the shell and began to guide him to the counter.
“There’s no wrong way to mess up a recipe you’re making up! Besides, even if it’s bad, raph’ll eat it like it’s five star lobster! I don’t even think he can taste anymore.”
“Really?” Mikey gave a look that showed he didn’t quite believe, “my Raph’s really particular about what he’ll eat....”
Michelangelo snapped. “Ah, a picky eater! I got one of those! That’s why I gotta make Donnie’s portion separate on most nights. Splinter tried to use the ‘can’t leave the table until you eat it’ technique and Donnie say there for almost two days refusing to touch it before splinter gave in.”
Mikey whistled. “I don’t think I could go two hours without food...” he clutched at his stomach, “let alone two days...”
Michelangelo gave a patient smile and patted Mikey’s shell to urge him closer to the counter. Mikey looked out over the perfectly laid out supplies, and then back nervously at the other.
“W... what are you making?”
“What do you think?” Michelangelo motioned to the ingredients. “Take a guess!”
Mikey narrowed his eyes as he took a second look. Several jars of Marinara, four different cheeses laid out... pepperonis and meat-cutting scissors... flour, salt, eggs, olive oil...
“Are... you making pizza gyoza?” Mikey could feel his stump of a tail beginning to wag excitedly at the thought of the soft, cheesy goodness of the treats his friend murikami often made for them.
Michelangelo tisked his tongue and bopped his other on the nose. “Close~ I’m making my own version! The best chef can improvise with what he has in his kitchen! The gyoza you described would be put in a dumpling, but this one will be improvised to fit in a ravioli! I could have done the traditional gyoza, but I like putting my own spin on things! It’s gonna be a four cheese ravioli with pepperonis mixed in and topped with marinara sauce! I call it Mikey’s Masterpiece!”
Mikey could feel his mouth running at the thought and swiped his tongue across his lips. “Sounds tasty...”
Michelangelo nodded, almost about to open his mouth to offer more praise before he saw that the poor mutant was still looking nervous and unsure.
“Here,” Michelangelo slid over several cups of flour and a measured amount of salt. “Mound them on the the counter and Make a well.”
Mikey poured the ingredients in the table and stared at them for a few seconds before Michelangelo recognized his mistake.
“Oh! Mm. We’re gonna make... a lake! See, the flour and salt will be our sand and the wet ingredients...?”
“Will... be our water?” Mikey offered tentatively.
“Exactly! So make the sand, but leave space in the middle so we can put in our water!”
“Oh!” Mikey giggled as he began to make a surprisingly well-crafted well, “this is fun!”
Michelangelo let the turtle have his fun before bringing over his egg mixture and offering it.
“Your ‘Water’ my liege~”
Mikey took the bowl and, after an encouraging nod from his other, carefully poured the mixture into the center.
Michelangelo cleared his throat. “OH NO! The tides coming in!”
Mikey gasped.
“And it’s taking a bunch of sand back with it!” He knew lakes didn’t really have a tide, but it worked for the euphemism. He took his hand and swiped some of the flour into the liquidy center. “Do you know how tides work, Mike?”
Mikey shook his head, his eyes in awe as he imagined the water cutting across the Sandy shores and taking them away into the cold depths.
“Well, tides come in a little at a time, so they can only take a little sand at a time.” Michelangelo explained, “and then!” He began to mix the liquid around with his hand, “the waves all get crazy in the middle and have a party! Now the tides gonna take even more sand! You try!”
Mikey knocked some of the sand into the mixture and, when he wasn’t scolded for doing something wrong, he began to carefully mix it. Michelangelo guided him through the rest of the steps until the ingredients were all mixed into a soft, doughy ball.
“What now?” Mikey giggled— his face and hands were now coated in flour to add to his genuine enjoyment of the activity.
“Now: feel how it’s all gooey-ooey?”
“Ya!” Mikey poked the dough.
“That’s like mud!”
“Mud?”
“After it rained all day and the earth got soft! But it’s January! What happens when night comes?”
Mikey scratched his head. “It gets all cold...”
“Aaaand...?”
“And the mud freezes!”
“Exactly!” Michelangelo folded the dough safely in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. “So now it’s night!”
“So we go to sleep?”
“No silly! We’re ninja! We stalk the nights!”
“We own the night!”
“Exactly! So let’s own the night and keep busy while the dough freezes!” Michelangelo hummed as he looked over the cheeses. He took a handful and showed it to Mikey. “See these?”
“Cheese?” Mikey took a piece and ate it happily.
“No! It’s not cheese its... mystic crystals! Do you have those in your world?”
“No.” Mikey gaped, “Well, there was this one time that April got an evil Crystal from an alien planet. Does that count?”
“No. These are mystic crystals! They take on the properties of whatever they’re added to!”
“It just looks like cheddar to me...”
“That’s exactly what it wants you to think.” Michelangelo winked. “Now, we’re gonna make a magic potion with our mystic crystals!”
“What does the potion do?”
“It’s a... warmth potion! For when you’re cold! So we gotta add a lot of heat for it to form proper!”
Michangelo put a skillet on the stove and added olive oil, half a fan of marinara, and garlic. He offered a cup of heavy cream to Mikey, who promptly took a sip before pouring the rest of it into the concoction— it was going to get boiled anyway, so it shouldn’t matter. After a few minutes of standing over the heat, Michelangelo offered his friend the cheese.
“Now is the time to add the crystals— slowly!” He quickly added as Mikey went to pour the whole thing, “we don’t want the crystals to be on top of each other! They need to melt for the potion to work!”
Mikey nodded and obeyed, and while he did, Michelangelo started to warm up the rest of the marinara on a separate pan and preheat the oven. He checked in quickly on the brewing potion and removed it from the heat once it was ready, taking a wooden spoon to scoop up a small bit and taste before offering the rest to Mikey. The box turtle practically melted as the heat overtook his body in a pleasant mix of sauce and cheese.
“Mmmmm...” he moaned softly, “that’s really good!”
Michelangelo grinned, and began to sprinkle some pepperonis in and begin to mix it around. “Oh good other of mine~! I think it’s daaaaawn!”
Mikey gasped and hurried over to the fridge and pull out the flattened dough, giving it a poke. “It wooooorked...”
“Now! Roll it on the table, quick!” He tossed Mikey a rolling pin, “before the dough worms come out!”
Mikey’s jaw fell open. “The whaaaaat?”
“THE DOUGH WORMS! They live in cold dough and steal all the flavor! Now hurry and smoosh them before they can escape with the taste!”
“OH NO!” Mikey slammed the dough on the table and began to roll it out.
“No thicker than a nickel— the worms are really small and can survive otherwise!”
“I WONT LET ANY OF THEM ESCAPE!”
Mikey did an excellent job of flattening out the dough into a large, thin sheet. After reassuring him he had gotten all the ‘dough worms’, Michelangelo carefully cut the sheet in half and began to lay his cheese mixture.
“See these?” He held up the spoonful of the mystic potion, “when mystic potion is added to dough and boiled, it’s affects increase tenfold!”
“Ooooo!”
“So put them in piles like so...” Michelangelo began to lay out spoonfuls an inch apart, “so we can make a bunch and share it!”
“Good idea! We all need to stay warm and toasty!” Mikey grabbed another spoon and began to help.
With the playful assistance of Mikey, they had finished making the ravioli within two hours and Michelangelo let Mikey serve to to the hungry brothers.
“Mmm...” Leonardo moaned almost sensually at the explosive taste in his mouth. “This is really good.”
Leo had been hesitant at first when he found out it had been Michelangelo preparing the dinner, but a quick sight test showed nothing awry. A smell test yielded only a warm fragrance, and lastly a taste test...
Leo’s eyes shot open and he was sure they had fallen from his sockets in his surprise. One small nibble had turned into swallowing the chopstick-ful whole and almost purring in delight as the warm, perfect mix of sauce and cheese and dough rolled down his throat. Once their brother had taken the dive, Raph and Donnie exchanged shocked glances and began to scarf down their shares as if they hadn’t eaten in days.
Mikey didn’t open his mouth, except to eat his extra tasty dinner of course. Just seeing his brothers happily scarfing down something that he’d made was more than enough.
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batgurl1989 · a year ago
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We Meet Again Chapter 1
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Summary: After years of not seeing each other, Geralt has found Younin again at the Inn at the Crossroads working as an Herbalist. He needs her assistance, and she can’t turn him down.
Word Count: 1578
Pairing: Geralt of Rivia and OFC
Warnings: None at this point. Those will come later
A/N: This is the first chapter of many for Geralt and Younin (The name for my OFC as a play on the use of Y/N for your name). This is mostly being used as an introductory chapter, and is based more on the Witcher 3: Wild Hunt video game than on the show or books. As always, I welcome critique, and feel free to shot me ideas of what you may like to see these two get up to on their adventures. Let me know if you want to be on the taglist.
Taglist: @rmtndew​ @princesssterek
Chapter One
“Mutant!”
“Abomination!”
“You’re kind’s no’ welcome ‘ere!”
The shouting could be heard clear down the street, all the way to your humble shop. You paused grinding the herbs, the pestle almost slipping from your hand. Since the Crones had been destroyed and the war ended years ago, your quaint little town didn’t often have unknown visitors beyond the traveling merchants. If you needed supplies for your potions and oils, you usually had to travel to Novigrad or at least the Crow’s Perch. But this visitor was especially rare. A Witcher was passing through.
You shook your head, trying to clear it of the hope that suddenly sprang to life in your chest. Your heart rate picked up at the possibility that this Witcher could be YOUR Witcher. But you knew he left Velen years ago without much thought for returning. You began to grind the herbs in the mortar again, but got lost in the almost hypnotic mundane work.
Over the decades, you and Geralt kept running into each other. The first time was when he needed healing after a Drowner attack while on one of his missions. At that point you knew his heart belonged ultimately belonged to your Sorceress comrade, Yennefer. Though handsome, and clearly up for a meaningless romp, you managed to heal him and send him on his way. The on again off again relationship between Geralt and Yennefer was well known among the magical world, and the last you had heard, they were on.
The next time your paths crossed had been in Skellige at one of the many parties the ruling Jarl had thrown. A few heated glances had led to a rendezvous on the balcony. He and Yennefer were off at the time, but your conscious still ate at you regardless of the immense pleasure the Witcher had given you. You saw the look of hurt that flashed through his eyes as you portalled out of the party shortly after finishing.
Since that party, you had seen each other every couple of years, and although you knew how easy it would be to fall into bed with him, you never did. But that didn’t stop the two of you shameless flirting at every turn.
When you had settled in Velen to open an herbalist shop in Novigrad, he was quick to find you. It had been one of the most difficult meetings you two had shared. At the time Geralt had just gotten his memory back after spending time with Triss, having completely forgotten about Yennefer. It was a tense time for everyone as the whole magical community held its breath waiting to see if Yennifer would decimate Triss for taking advantage of Geralt while his memories were gone.
And then of course there was the confusion following when Geralt couldn’t seem to make up his mind between the two. You had decided it was safer and better for you to concentrate on your work and boosting your business. But it wasn’t safe for you to remain in Novigrad as the Witch Hunters were making themselves very known to anyone not human.
That was how you found yourself in one of the outskirt villages, making a decent but humble name for yourself. Keeping your magic mostly under wraps. The villagers knew you were a Sorceress, but as long as you didn’t do anything too big and draw too much attention to yourself, then they left you alone for the most part. You figured they were probably just happy to have someone who could heal the ailments that came with living near a swamp.
A knock on your door pulled you out of your memories. Giving you head a harder shake, you plastered a smile on your face, and turned to greet the customer standing in your open doorway. You tried to leave your door open during business hours so people would know you were open. Your smile almost faltered when you saw who filled your doorway.
“Long time no see.” Geralt had a surprised smile on his face, as though he hadn’t been expecting you. Outside you could still here villagers grumbling about his presence.
“Here. Step inside.” You waved him in. Once he was over the threshold, you closed your door. If Geralt was here, it was important, and any other customers could wait. Wiping your hands on the waist apron you wore when grinding herbs, you looked around from something to busy yourself with. If you were being honest with yourself, you were mostly looking to make sure the place was in decent condition. “So, uh, what brings you to the Crossroads?”
“I’m running low on some herbs.” You could feel Geralt’s eyes on you as you went over to your large cupboard where you stored all the herbs you had for sale. “I didn’t think you would still be in Velen after everyone left for Kovir.”
“I make do where I am.” You shrugged, opening the cupboard doors to reveal a multitude of tiny drawers and compartments filled with herbs and other spell components. “What herbs were you looking for? I usually have the ones you would commonly need. For the rarer ones, you might need to travel to Novigrad.”
Geralt nodded, stepping closer to the cupboard and you. You hoped you were subtle as you stepped away from him, giving him more room to search for what he needed. A sideways glance from him told you that he noticed. Clearing your throat, you went back over to your bench to start cleaning up the herb you had been preparing. Anything to get you away from his heat and his scent. Though he had probably been on the road for days, fighting who knew what, he always smelt of fresh air, leather, and horse. It wasn’t an unappealing smell, and you found you always had to distance yourself from it otherwise it clouded your mind.
“If you are going to ask, just do it.” His low rumbling voice carried easily across the small room even though you were making a lot of noise.
“How is Yennefer?” You quietly asked, not able to give your voice volume in the hopes that he didn’t hear. You were unsure if you wanted to know the answer, and you felt like giving him an out for old time’s sake.
“I wouldn’t know.” Geralt replies calmly, opening a few drawers to pull out a few sprigs of herbs.
BANG
Spinning with a hand reaching over his shoulder for one of his two swords, Geralt looked ready to take on any foe that might have invaded your cottage. He relaxed when he took in the shattered mortar on your work bench, and the smoke rising from the shards. His hand left his sword as he made his way over to you as you scrambled to clean up the mess.
“Sorry! Sorry.” You swept the powdered mess into your hand to deposit in a bucket you used mostly for compost, but would now serve as a garbage. “I don’t know why that happened. The components were stable.”
“But you weren’t.” Geralt noted, leaning against the workbench with his arms crossed. He watched you with a mixture of amusement and concern swimming in his golden eyes. He watched you silently for a minute longer as you rushed to clean up the mess. You seemed to be making it worse with each attempt to sweep it up. His hand covered yours, stopping your panicked motions. “Younin.”
“Don’t.” You closed your eyes against the wave of emotions that crashed over you at his touch. Hearing your name on his lips was bad enough without him holding your hands still. Mentally throwing up walls against your feelings, you steeled yourself as you looked directly at him. “Did you find what you needed?”
“Got them here.” Geralt held out his hands. You quickly made a mental note of what he had taken for inventory purposes. He set them down on the bench, reaching his coin.
“You don’t need to. Consider them on the house.” You raised your hands, shaking your head vehemently. You couldn’t imagine a world where you would actually charge Geralt for a simple handful of herbs.
“You must let me pay you.” Geralt took a step toward you, crowding into your space. There was no where for you to go as your back was against the workbench. You took a deep breath, ready to protest again, but you saw something shift in his eyes, and he backed off. “At least let me buy you a drink then.”
“Fine, but only because I was heading to the Inn anyway.” You sighed, giving in against your better judgement. The single piece of information he had given you was quickly taking root in your mind and seemed to take over your decision-making skills. “Just let me clean up in here, and I will meet you there.”
Geralt seemed to accept that, nodding as his gold eyes took one last lingering look at you. He ducked out the door, closing it behind him with a soft snick of the latch. You sighed, letting the tension flow out of your body now that he was gone. You hadn’t fooled him or yourself. He still had a hold on you somehow after all these years. But having drinks with him might be the only time you had to explore those feelings. So you got ready as quickly as possible to head over the Inn.
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ourloveisforthelovely · a year ago
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Secrets 4
Harry Potter AU Marauders ERA
Link to Chapter 3
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 
Rating; M - abuse and delicate subjects. Trigger warning
________
James was completely surprised by the words that came out of Regulus’ mouth. At first, he didn’t believe it. Regulus Black being a double agent. That was laughable. James honestly expected Regulus to be dead or killed off by Voldemort after the “real” got going. Regulus wasn’t brave and it would take a lot to convince James otherwise.
Regulus wasn’t an idiot. He had picked up on James’ feelings without having to put much thought into it. From his place, by your side, Regulus scowled at James.
“Ask Dumbledore if you don’t believe me...or don’t. Whatever you want to do, the choice is yours. Besides, your feelings don’t matter to me. I only care about Y/n. The rest of you can go kick rocks.”
Regulus wouldn’t meet his brother’s gaze. You, yourself, had to look away from Sirius. It didn’t take you being so close to him to know that Regulus’ words hurt Sirius. You had been there when Sirius was drunk and upset over his brother. Now Regulus’ still bitter resentment toward Sirius was painfully clear. Part of you often wondered if Regulus was still angry over Sirius leaving home and this statement answered it.
You gently slid your hand onto Regulus’. His cold eyes didn’t move to you for a moment. They were still locked on James as if daring your brother to make a move. Regulus would have been thrilled for any reason to hex your brother. He didn’t care how angry or upset that it made you.
“Regulus, James...both of you stop. This isn’t fair to Y/n. She cares for each of you and you’ll have to find some way to deal with it.”
Sirius said, calmly. Regulus smirked before snuggling closer to you. He kept his eyes on James in almost a cat-like manner. James shook his head and muttered something under his breath before suddenly looking pleased.
“He has to get along with Remus too.”
Regulus tensed. The anger and jealousy that he felt toward the werewolf returned like a brick to the back of the head. Regulus hadn’t forgotten that night at the bar. He hadn’t forgotten hearing you say that you loved Remus.
“Enough, James. Regulus, come with me.”
You stood and tugged the younger Black brother to his feet. He reluctantly followed you into your bedroom and slammed the door.
“Do you love him? The werewolf…”
Regulus said, coldly. You sighed. It was going to take some time for Regulus to let go of some of the prejudices that had been drilled into his head since childhood.
“Remus is one of my friends. I love him as a friend. My love for you is different.”
You stood on your tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Regulus was still tense. He didn’t relax into your touch as you had hoped. Regulus kissed back but it felt extremely formal. You shook your head before resting against his shoulder.
“Let me love you again, Regulus. I want to love you the way that you should have always been loved but you have to let me.”
“What if I am unlovable?”
He asked. You looked up to his face again. This time the cold anger was gone and was replaced by uncertainty. You mentally cursed Walburga and Orion for the way that they chose to raise their son.
“You are not unlovable. I still love you very much.”
“Why?”
You frowned.
“What do you mean why?”
Regulus shrugged.
“I’ve been so cold to you. I have treated you the way that my family would treat someone. I don’t deserve you but I’ll spend the rest of my life willing to make it up to you...even if you despise me.”
You wrapped your arms back around him.
“I don’t despise you, Reggie. I haven’t stopped being in love with you even with all of the bad. I want us to try again but your family can’t interfere. When you’re around them for a long time...you change. You aren’t the sweet boy that I fell in love with.”
Regulus had put his head down for a moment. You were right. When he was away from Walburga, he could be the shy quiet boy that you adored so much. With Walburga, he was a monster.
“I meant what I said. I’m going back to say goodbye forever.”
Your eyes winded.
“Don’t go back alone. Let me go with you.”
Regulus shook his head.
“I am not letting you go in that house. Stay here with your brother. As much as James and I hate each other...I know that he won’t let you be harmed.”
You began to tremble as Regulus held you tighter.
“Please don’t go back. It won’t end well.”
“I have some things that I have to get. If I don’t they will call me a coward for the rest of my life and I am not going to let that happen. I’ll be back by nightfall.”
Regulus knew that going back to Grimmauld Place was going to be a bad idea. He also knew that he was going to have to face the dark lord. Regulus had already put together a grand charade about “I am working with the order to get information for you, master.” Voldemort would believe that. Regulus could only hope that his own feelings wouldn’t get in the way. He was going to have to put his family's beliefs and ideals on the back burner if he wanted to get you back. Once you were securely his, he could go back to his old ways. He only needed to get you back in the palm of his hand.
“Reggie?”
He looked up, still hating that blasted nickname that you insisted on calling him. Your hazel eyes were full of tears.
“Everything will be fine. Do you trust me?”
You nodded as Regulus leaned down for another kiss. This time the kiss was what you wanted. This was a Regulus Black kiss.
Regulus was the first to break away. He put a hand to the side of your face before smiling shyly.
“I’ll see you soon.”
The rest of the afternoon, you were a nervous wreck. You paced the living room floor. Sirius hadn’t said much since Regulus left. He had tried to calm you down but decided that was going as well as baptizing a cat. You knew if you wanted to talk to him, he was right there.
“Merlin, would you sit down? You are making me nervous.”
James snapped. You rounded on your brother with a frown.
“I’m sorry but I am really worried about him.”
James sighed, ignoring the scathing glare that Lily was giving him. He stood up and pulled you into a hug.
“Everything is going to be okay. Regulus is a big boy and he knows how to use his magic well. You’ll be together as soon as he can get here.”
Dinner was a silent affair. No one had really bothered saying much. It was silently agreed that mindless chatter was going to set you off. You sat quietly picking at the chicken that Lily placed in front of you. She gently patted your shoulder hoping to give you some kind of reassurance that everything would be fine.
The sound of the door opening and closing made you jump from your seat. Running into the living room, you froze the moment that you made eye contact with Regulus. The poor boy was beaten to hell. Your hands went to cover your mouth as you fought back a scream. Both of Regulus’ eyes were bruised. Scratches littered his handsome face and blood-covered lips.
“Is he back…”
Sirius stopped right beside you the moment that he realized what had happened.
“Regulus?”
You managed to squeak. Regulus had been holding his chest where his mother’s foot had broken a rib. He winced wanting to speak but the pain was so severe.
“I’m fine.”
He managed to squeak. You quickly closed the distance between the two of you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder to help him to the couch.
“And I was born yesterday.”
You muttered before quickly unbuttoning his shirt. His chest looked like a giant purple bruise.
“Walburga-special?”
Sirius questioned and Regulus nodded. Regulus winced in pain as your fingers gently felt over his ribs.
“She’s broken your ribs.”
“That isn’t the worst of it.”
Regulus choked out. You reached out and tenderly wiped the blood from his lips as James walked into the room. He froze before meeting Sirius’ gaze. You wanted to cry looking at his normally perfect lips. Sure, you could fix him right up but this image was devastating.
“This was the same condition that you were in when you ran away.”
Sirius nodded, not wanting to speak. He could deal with the pain that his mother put him through but now seeing that Regulus was abused as badly made him feel horrible. Sirius had silently hoped, over the years, that since Regulus was “the good son” he would get no abuse. Clearly, that was not the case.
Meanwhile, you tenderly stroked his face hoping to bring some comfort.
“Do you think you can get into my room? I’ll take care of you.”
Regulus rolled his eyes.
“I don’t need you fussing over me, Y/n. It's just a few broken bones and after-effects of the cruciatus curse.”
James chuckled.
“Regulus, give it up man. She is going to be fussing over you for the rest of forever. You might as well embrace it.”
“She makes great feel better soup.”
Sirius added. You smiled over your shoulders at your brother and friend. Regulus grumbled something about you being a pain in his ass but smiled when you kissed his nose.
“You aren’t getting away from me this time. I’ll always be a pain in your ass.”
20 minutes later, Regulus was snuggled in bed with his head on your lap. You stroked your fingers through his curls as he lay looking at the opposite wall.
“How does she do her sons like this?”
You asked. Regulus snorted.
“I’ve looked a lot worse.”
Regulus said in an emotionless voice. This made your heartache even more. Neither he nor Sirius ever deserved something like this.
“It's horrible. A mother is supposed to love and care for you.”
Regulus winced as he turned to look up at you.
“A mother is supposed to be many things. I told mother that I wasn’t coming back. I told her that I had fallen in love with you and she wasn’t keeping me from nor hurting you. She went ballistic. My father overheard and joined in the fun. He said he had already lost one son to the Potters and wasn’t about to lose another. I threatened them that if they came near you or tried to harm you there would be consequences. Let's just say my father isn’t doing so hot right now either but I couldn’t hurt my mother. Are you sure that you want a man who would hurt his own parents?”
You swallowed.
“You were protecting yourself. That’s all that matters.”
Regulus sighed when you began stroking his hair again.
“You know it's not over with them. I won’t let them hurt you.”
You knew that Regulus was right on that one. One didn’t “fuck” with the Black family and expect to walk away as a winner.
“We’ll deal with them when the time comes. For now, let's just focus on getting you well.”
(meanwhile)
Walburga was screaming as she stalked around Grimmauld Place breaking every glass object that she could get her hands on. Orion hadn’t said much since Regulus sent him crashing into a wall.
“I don’t understand! What is it with those Potters? We have lost two sons to that family. Do they shit golden eggs?”
Walburga snapped. Druella looked up from the drink that she had been making.
“I don’t understand, dear.”
Walburga sank down into a chair before sobbing violently.
“Both of my sons have abandoned me. Was I such a horrible mother?”
Druella stood and gently patted Walurga’s now messy hair.
“No, my darling, you are a wonderful mother. Don’t hate yourself.”
Orion finally spoke.
“We have given them everything that they could have wanted. Regulus, in particular. He was supposed to be our star. Now, look at him. He’s run off to be with some slut.”
“You know that he almost had a baby with that slut, right?”
Druella, Orion, and Walburga turned to see Bellatrix sitting in the corner. The girl smiled evilly.
“What did you say?”
Walburga choked out. Bellatrix nodded.
“Yes, aunty. Y/n was pregnant. Don’t know rightfully what happened. All that I know is she had a miscarriage. It's torn Regulus apart. I think it's driven him mad. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one who took care of the problem. Reproducing an illegitimate heir with some common harlot.”
Walburga howled louder. This was news that she didn’t expect to hear. Druella frowned at her daughter.
“Bella, how do you know this?”
Bellatrix stood up.
“Heard it right from the horse's mouth. Regulus was crying about it in his sleep.”
Orion looked embarrassed. The knowledge that his son almost had an illegitimate heir to the Black family fortune was enough to make him ill.
“We have to deal with this problem. Find Regulus and the girl...bring them back here to be punished.”
Bellatrix nodded.
“Of course, uncle.”
________
@iamashlynmarie (here is a Regulus x Reader fic for you ) 
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jungkookiebus · 2 years ago
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ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: tea shop owner!jjk x reader  ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: angst x fluff x eventual smut  ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: mentions of death (non-major character)  ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 11.2k sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:  you thought after three years the hurt in your heart for your dead husband would sting a little less than it did. in an attempt to clear your mind and start anew, you move to a small, coastal town. there, you find comfort in a tea shop run by a man named jeongguk. every day, at the same time, you come to the tea shop and soon start to fall for the bright-eyed man that listens to you pour your heart out. but the guilt settling in your stomach every time you think of your husband has you running from jeongguk entirely. do you have what it takes to let go?
Part of the Love Yourself The Collab. I hope you enjoy all of the wonderful stories!
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: This is part one to this installment. There is so much more story and I didn’t want it to feel extremely rushed. Picture for my heading and fic breaks are of the Aoyama Flower Market Tea House. 
The whirring of machines and the steady, monotonous beep beep beep echoed loudly in your head; ping ponging off the sides of your skull until it felt like it would break straight through the bone. A tension headache pounded behind your eyes and you pinched the bridge of your nose to alleviate some of the pain. The room’s sterile scent burned your nose and you were sure the smell had permanently seeped into your clothes. Outside, the night was quiet save for the sirens every now and then. You absently wondered if there were people out there having just as bad a night as you. There was soft, raspy breathing steadily beside you as you sat doubled over in an uncomfortable chair as your head lay on the hard hospital mattress. You stared down your arm to your fingers intertwined with his and ran your fingers softly against his skin. It was then that every alarm in the room went off. He gasped for breath as he struggled unconsciously, hands reaching out to an unknown specter. You panicked and grabbed his shoulders to keep him steady, screaming in panic for someone to help you, pressing furiously on the nurse’s button. But help never came. All at once, he went still, and his eyes focused on your face. His lips moved slowly, and he seemed to be saying something. Leaning forward, you turned your ear close enough to his face to feel his warm breath against your skin.
“Why?” he breathed.
The monitor beside you blipped one last time before hitting that too well known tone of death. Your breath caught in shock as the realization kicked in. He was gone. Nurses poured into the room seconds later and you were jolted awake as you slid from his bed.
Sitting up in the darkness you looked towards the clock. 4:34 am.
You had had that reoccurring nightmare for years.
You looked to your right at the empty space beside you and immediately fell into tears. It had been three years since he died. Some days were easier than others, some days you’d even forget about the whole thing, and then some of them were so unbearable you could barely move. You had dated your husband since high school, married in University, and you both had the whole world ahead of you. He had accomplished every goal he set for himself, got a good career, and was ready to start creating a family with you when he had received the news. Brain cancer. Very aggressive and minimal chance of an effective treatment. Your world came crashing down around you with the news. Every which direction you had expected your life to go was suddenly skewed by a landslide.
He hadn’t even lasted the month.
One second you were happily married and the breath before your next heartbeat, he was gone. He had left you well cared for, but the pain in your heart could not be softened by being financially stable after his death. It took months for you to put his bathroom things away; a few months after that you had the heart to tidy up his study, putting away reminders, and picking up the coffee cups that seemed to accumulate there; it was two years before you were able to donate his clothes; and it was almost three when you moved the book he had been reading from his bedside table.
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“Is this something you really want to do?” Ki whispered cautiously over his cup of tea. Steam wafted outwards towards you as he asked the question. His glasses fogged up once more as the heat was once again directed at his face.
You smiled down at his cautious gaze and glassy eyes. “I really want to do this.”
“Tongyeong is so far away,” he pouted.
“You can visit.”
“What will his family say?”
You stared out of the café window to the bustling city streets. What would his family think? Probably glad the bitch was out of the picture. When he had died, his family was outraged to find that he left the majority of his belongings and holdings to you. They fought tooth and nail to take everything from you, but his will was legally sound and so they had no other option than to relent. Ever since, they had cut off all connection, but were still nosy, using proxies to delve for information about your life. You weren’t going off and blowing his money. You had invested most of it after you paid off the house and was living comfortably off the earnings. The only news they ever got was that ‘she’s still there, leaves the house when she needs to, gardens when she’s sad, and sits outside for long stretches of time.’ Eat that, Jung family.
You smiled to yourself then said, “Who cares? They can go fuck themselves.”
Ki snickered into his drink. Setting the cup down on the table he reached across and grabbed your hand.
“___, if this is something that you want, I support it 100%. Know that I’m here if you ever need anything.”
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The move went easier than you had expected. Your therapist talked you off the ledge of a mental breakdown twice as you packed up your life. If it wasn’t for her and Ki’s unswaying friendship, you wouldn’t have been able to do it. Tongyeong was on the southern coast of Korea and was everything you ever wanted. It boasted mountain ranges and evergreen trees for miles. The small part of town you had purchased in was nestled amongst the craggy rocks of the shore, dotted with docks, several hundred boats swayed amongst their moorings, and the smell of salt was fresh on the wind each day. The home you purchased was cottage style, slightly outside of the range of “town”, but close enough to walk. There was room for you to garden and still be able to enjoy yourself if you were to put in a sitting area. This house was admittedly smaller than your last so you did sell some items of furniture you wouldn’t be needing and packed up your most treasured possessions. Windows were on each wall of the single story home, which would boast sunshine for most of the day and called for a warm house during winter. Most of your unpacking was done save for a few of the books you had yet to shelf in your new study. For now, you had your essentials and the rest could wait. You were eager to explore the town and familiarize yourself with some sort of café to enjoy some tea.
Pulling on a light sweater, you slipped from your house and down the path into town. It was lazy on this Sunday morning and you were thankful for the lack of interaction you would have had to otherwise endure. Passing a small dress shop, florist, and bakery you finally stumbled upon what you were looking for. Settled oddly, almost at an angle between two buildings sat a small, squat building. It seemed to give an almost magical aura with its soft, gray brick. The glass in the windowpanes looked old as the sun rippled across them. A green door with intricate wood carvings greeted you as you pushed it open. A rush of warm air hit you and was quickly followed by the smells of spices, something citrusy, and chocolate. Dried flowers hung from string in the windows. Behind the long, wooden bar stood floor to ceiling shelves with hundreds of jars of various teas. A library ladder stood at one end, ready to be rolled to its next destination in this journey of tea. Soft piano music came from an unseen speaker. Besides you, there was no one else in the café. You looked around thinking maybe you had made a mistake and accidentally came in while it was closed. As you were turning to leave the way you came a bright ‘hello!’ startled you into turning back around. A tall, broad chested man with black hair that fell into his eyes came out of a door behind the counter. His eyes shone bright in the lights of the café, lights you couldn’t see now that you were observing your surroundings more. The café seemed to glow as if it created its own atmosphere. It glowed even brighter as he entered the room. All at once you felt instantaneous relief wash through your body as he smiled at you.
“How can I help you?” His voice was neither very high nor low, but the lilt of his dialect calmed you.
“I, um, well…,” you trailed off.
“Let me ask you this. How can the tea help you?”
Your brow furrowed at such an odd question. You were trying to wrack your brain for some logical answer when he spoke again.
“What ails you?”
Was this turning into some health appointment?
“Tea has all kinds of healing powers. I have tea for depression, insomnia, nerve pain, chronic sinus infection, and the occasional ‘blend’ for the hypochondriacs.” He threw his fingers into air quotes at the end. “Or, you know, if you’re just into peppermint I have that too.”
He leaned against the counter and looked at you questioningly. His eyes held the same attentiveness as someone saying, ‘I’ll stand here happily for 8 hours until you decide’.
“Yea, well…sometimes…I have trouble sleeping.” You looked away shyly. Something inside you told you that if you looked him directly in his eyes, he’d know all your secrets.
You felt his gaze on your face as you pretended to read the names on all the jars.
“Nightmares?” he questioned.
Your eyes immediately met his as they widened. Your mouth fell open slightly before you snapped it shut and fixed your gaze.
“How did you know?”
“Intuition.” He leaned on the counter for a beat longer before he pushed off, grabbing the ladder and rolling it behind him. “I have just the one.”  
As he climbed the ladder you let your eyes flit over his lithe frame, probably small under that oversized sweater, but you could tell by the fitted pants he wore that he was well toned. Your cheeks burned with guilt as you thought about it.
“Take a seat,” he said as he jumped off the ladder, jar in hand, and gesturing towards the counter.
You sat down slowly on one of the bar seats, placed your bag in front of you, and watched as he moved around burners and teapots.
“Are you visiting?” he asked as he sat some water on to boil.
“No, I just moved here.”
“Oh! We rarely get anybody new around here. Small town and all.”
“Yea, it’s a really pretty town and it boasted some of the best seafood.”
He laughed as he nodded in agreement. “Some of the freshest you’ll ever get. Go down to the docks early on Saturday mornings before the sun comes up and you’ll receive the best squid you’ll ever eat.”
You laughed as he tried to get you to warm up. His banter was oddly comforting, and it seeped like honey through your veins. Your mind seemed lazy, slow and all at once at ease. The tension you held in your shoulders dissipated and the slight clench in your jaw relaxed. Chamomile, lemon balm, and something spicy wafted into your nose. The man stood there; lips pursed as he concentrated on the cup of tea steeping in front of him. The more he moved his lips the more you saw his dimple appear and disappear. He had a strong jaw that led to an equally strong neck. He was wiry; veins stood out along his neck, arms, and hands. You wondered what else he did to keep himself in such great shape besides make tea all day.
“Perfect,” he muttered as he pulled the leaves from the mug. Carefully, he sat the mug in front of you. “Now, I suggest drinking it as is, but if you want sugar, honey, or milk I’ve got it.”
“Oh, no, this is fine, thank you.” The mug was pleasantly warm in your hands. The glass was not so hot that you had to pull your hands away and the warmth seemed to shoot into your limbs. He turned away to clean up his imaginary mess as you took the first sip. If molasses were sentient and it carried healing properties for stress, then you were dunked in a vat of it. The feeling seemed to slide across your skin slowly, making sure to fill each and every crevice of your soul. You almost wanted to bow down at the feet of whoever made this blend.
“This was a good pick…,” you trailed off. You wanted to put a name to the face.
“Jeongguk.” He wiped his hands to preoccupy himself as you took another sip.
“Well, Jeongguk,” you said giving him a look of surprise, “you were spot-on knowing exactly what I needed.”
He smiled shyly as he looked down at his shoes.
“Mom always said I had a knack for it. I make the blends in house.”
You looked around in shock at the hundreds of jars that lined the wall behind him. “You made all of these?”
“Yep!” he grinned proudly as he spun to look at his work. “I live farther up in the hills. I grow a lot of tea up there; they love the humidity in the summer. I get some stuff imported from reliable, sustainable growers. But yea, these are all hand crafted by yours truly.”
“That’s impressive.”
“Yea? Well, you’re welcome to stop by any time. Hell, you could come here everyday for the next few months and try one new tea a day.”
“That sounds great, actually. My name is _____ by the way, I don’t know if I told you.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you move here?”
You’d knew he ask, but you still weren’t prepared when he did. What were you supposed to say? ‘My husband died three years ago, I’m still not over it, I wake up with nightmares every night, and I can’t sleep with my light off anymore, but everything’s great! Town is lovely!’ or do you simply say:
“Mid-life crisis.”
He snickered as the sentence came out of you dead pan.
“You look too young to be having one of those.”
“What makes you think I’m going to live much longer?” you laughed.
He doubled over in exaggeration at your joke. “No one around here has a sense of humor sometimes. Glad to meet someone that’s a little more normal.”
“Surely not everyone here is lifeless.”
“Ah, no. It’s just mostly a bunch of burly old fisherman, rich fishermen’s wives, poor fishermen’s wives for that matter too. Needless to say, it’s a mixed bunch and they don’t all get along. The hardened old timers that this is all they know, stay. The kids they had started moving away and now there’s barely any young people left in the town. Why stay here when you can be living life in Seoul or Busan.”
“What made you stay?”
“I love it here,” he said without missing a beat.
You appreciated that he took stock in the simple things. Everything about this town screamed simple and it appealed to you. This would be a no-nonsense restart to your life.
“I know what you’re thinking. He’s uneducated and knows nothing about life because he’s never left this coastal town since the day he was born.”
You shrugged at his almost correct assumption about himself.
“Well, no matter what anyone in town tells you, that’s wrong. I went to University, graduated, lived in China for a couple of years and that’s where I learned everything I needed to know about tea. I came back here with some of my savings and I opened shop. Been here ever since.”
“You seem very accomplished.”
“I feel very accomplished,” he smiled. Damn it, if that toothy grin wasn’t getting you every time. You found yourself blushing more than once as he fixed his gaze upon you, listening as if you held the universe in your hands.
You told him the bare minimum about yourself, barely scratching the surface of your depressing past. You told him where you moved from, your education background, and a few mundane aspirations you had for yourself. Luckily, a year ago you had started wearing your wedding bands on a necklace which now was tucked snugly inside your sweater. The lack of jewelry stopped him from asking any questions about your relationship status.
Once your conversation had lulled and your mug was drained, you stood up to leave.
“This was all very lovely, Jeongguk. Thank you for the suggestion in tea.”
He seemed very boyish when he smiled, but he looked to be the same age as you. Praise made him light up like a Christmas tree and you found yourself liking his smile more and more.
“Any time. Oh! And if there is a blend you’d like to try don’t hesitate to ask me.”
You gave him one last smile as you exited the tea shop. The difference in atmosphere as you stepped out was almost otherworldly. Reality seemed to tip on its axis before it readjusted itself and you were left staring dumbly on the sidewalk. You looked behind you to see if you had imagined the whole thing, but the tea shop still stood in front of you looking the exact same as when you walked in. Tendrils of anxiety pricked at your brain. The comfort of the tea shop had helped you forget for a little while, but now that you were alone and exposed to the evening air you felt an emptiness creeping back inside of you. Clinging to the last few notes of chamomile on your tongue, you held on to the feeling as you walked back home.
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The next day you awoke to the sounds of seagulls gathering at the docks in the hopes of getting a stray fish that fell. You had left your windows open that night, letting in the early morning salty breeze. The smell of fresh fish carried on the wind and permeated your house. As you stretched your limbs, hopeful excitement bloomed in your chest as you thought about the tea shop and its semi-mysterious owner. You realized immediately that you slept through the entire night, not once woken up by horrible nightmares. You quickly dressed, looked yourself over in the hall mirror briefly, and stepped out into the morning air. All kinds of birds trilled in the trees and you still heard the shrill call of the seagulls closer to shore. You walked with purpose this time. You knew exactly where you were going and wanted to at least give the air of a local. You found it looking just as it had the day before.
The air inside was comfortably warm and today the shop smelled like lavender and bergamot. A patron sat at a small table near a bookcase, but the old man did not look up from his reading. Jeongguk beamed at you as he walked out holding a tray of fresh lavender scones.
He glanced towards the grandfather clock that flanked one of his walls. “Same time as yesterday. Punctual, I see.”
“And I see that not only can you make amazing tea blends but also baked goods as well,” you said taking the same place at the counter like you had the day before.
Today it sounded like he was playing music from some fantasy movie; a long, forlorn single note played, and violins dramatically sang in the background. Herbs were now placed on the line with the dried flowers and the smell of rosemary wove in and out of the calming lavender scent.  
“You can have one on me and you can tell me if it’s good or not.” He placed one on a plate before sliding it over to you. “What’ll it be today?”
He slid the tray of scones into a small bakery case and turned expectantly towards you.
“I’m feeling something fruity today.”
“Perfect,” he smiled. “You’re in luck. I had a bunch of strawberries that I dried last year that weren’t getting used. I made a strawberry and peach tea last night with just the slightest hint of vanilla.”
He bounced around excitedly like a kid showing you a new trick they had learned. He reverently put the leaves in to steep and stood idly by as he counted down the seconds until it was done. His bottom lip caught between his teeth as he concentrated on not spilling a drop as he carried it over.
“How’s the scone?”
“It’s amazing. Not too much lavender, which is perfect.”
His grinned at the praise.
“Jeongguk?”
“Hm?” he was absently licking his lips and you were momentarily distracted by the action.
“You have a lot of family here?”
He stopped short with a confused look on his face, like you had caught him completely by surprise. His mouth fell open and the café lights reflected off his wet bottom lip. Questions formed in his eyes as he cleared his throat. A second later, he was smiling as if nothing had happened.
“Not anymore,” he sighed. “My sister was the last to leave maybe two years ago. My mom died right before I moved to China and my dad went to live with my brother. ‘Can’t stand to be here without her anymore.’ I get it; I just get lonely from time to time for my family.”
You picked at the scone on your plate as you tried to contemplate the best response to give him. “Do they not come visit? Do you get to go see them?”
“Oh, yeah! I visit as often as I can and my siblings still come, but my dad won’t. It’s too hard for him to be here.”
“Your mom must have been a very wonderful lady.”
You sipped quietly as you watched his eyes. He looked beyond you, out the window, at something you knew you couldn’t see even if you turned around. The muscles in his face relaxed, smile slipping, and the gleam in his eyes shined a little brighter as tears pooled in the bottom of his eyes. He sniffed quickly as he wiped his face with the back of his hand.
“She was.”
You weren’t going to ask more than he was willing to offer, so you smiled at him instead. He choked out a laugh as he reached for your empty plate.
“She was my biggest supporter in this endeavor.”
He turned to put the plate away and your attention wandered to the shelf of jars in front of you. How many of them were woven with the sorrowful love he held in his heart? He had so many teas with so many specific treatments that you began to wonder how much of himself Jeongguk had put into his creations.
“So, where’s your family?”
Fuck. You had to open your big mouth and ask him about the F word and now he was curious about you. You did not ask him if he were married so maybe you could skate around the subject as well.
“My parents live in Andong and I’m an only child, so no interesting siblings to speak of.”
He seemed satisfied enough with your answer and went back to busying himself with putting the jars back where they belonged.
You looked around and noticed the other man in the café had left at some point and neither of you had noticed. Soft music flowed lackadaisically through the air around you. Light filtered in through the dried flowers as the sun traveled across the sky and you watched the shadows dance on the indoor greenery. If there were a roaring fire and maybe a few lightening bugs dancing about you would have thought you were in a fairy’s house. Everything about the café seemed small and comfortable, but large and magical all at once. If Jeongguk offered to make you potions you would not have been surprised.
“Would you like anything else?” His expression was just as you had seen him when you first walked through the door, happy and full of life.
“No, actually I need to do some grocery shopping before I starve in my own home.”
“Well, if you ever want actual food I know how to cook as well.”
“Is there anything you don’t know how to do?” you asked grabbing your bag. Pulling out a few won, you laid them on the counter as you swiveled on the stool.
He mocked concentration as he looked around the room.
“Well,” he smirked, “I can’t sew.”
“I’m surprised. I’d probably not think twice about if I came here tomorrow and you had knitted me a sweater.”
“I can crochet,” he said with a point and wink in your direction.
“Of course you do.” You were laughing, already easing into a comfort you hadn’t felt with anyone for a while.
That’s when the guilt hit. It was like a punch to the stomach and as if someone had reached inside your chest and started to squeeze your heart. Your breath caught suddenly the room swayed ever so slightly around you. An echo of your husband’s voice telling you he loved you bounced around in your mind.
“Hey, are you okay?” his question was muffled at first and you weren’t sure what he said. It took only a few seconds of your addled mind to decipher his words. “You look a little pale.”
The pain in your chest eased just enough for you to retain some composure.
“I think I stood up too fast.”
“Ah, might have something to do with the altitude here. Here,” he said grabbing a jar at eye level. “Drink some of this before you go to bed tonight.” He pulled a small baggie and filled it with just enough tea to make a cup. “On the house.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.” He was all smiles as he handed the baggie over.
“You spoil me.” You tried to bring humor back in the conversation, tried to be your normal self, but even you could hear the sadness in your voice.
Jeongguk seemed to notice, but only smiled when he caught your eye.
“Have a good rest of your day, _____, and don’t forget to drink that tonight.” He pointed towards the bag as he wiped the imaginary water off the same cup for the nth time. “It’ll also help you sleep.”
You felt the first set of tears start to well in your eyes. Saying a rushed goodbye, you slipped from the shop, forgoing the grocery store and walked home as fast as possible. As soon as the door shut behind you, your back connected to the wood and you slid down hard onto the floor. Fresh, hot tears streamed down your face as you sobbed into your hands. If a literal stranger showing you kindness made you feel this guilty then how were you going to survive this move? At least in the city you never really saw the same person twice unless you were loyal to a coffee shop (which you weren’t) and at your previous job no one had paid much mind to you. You internally berated yourself for being so disloyal to your husband. ‘Til death do you part and beyond. Your heart ached for him every day. Some days it was a dull pain, others you could barely get out of bed, but grief was strange; you’d often forget he was dead. It was like walking up a set of familiar stairs in the total darkness, having counted them millions of times, but every now and again you miscount and take one more step than necessary at the top. Your body lurches, panicked as if falling through space and suddenly your adrenaline is pumping because surely, you’re about to fall, then your foot hits the ground. You’re brought back to the present, a little stunned and uneasy. Your heart settles back to its normal beating and reality sets in. Some things can be forgotten, we become so used to the feeling being there that we forget we even have them until we trip up and our minds betray us; showing us just how lonely we truly are.
The house had fallen dark when you woke up on the floor. Your body was stiff and sore from having been on the ground for so long. A few hours had passed since you came home, your stomach grumbled, and you internally berated yourself for not going to the grocery store earlier. You groaned as you pushed yourself to your feet and tried to adjust to your surroundings. Having been expecting a package, you turned and opened the door not to be met with what you had planned to see there, but a small bundle with a note on top. Bending over slowly, you picked both up to inspect them more closely. The script on the cardstock was perfect, so perfect in fact that you thought it was typed but the smudges of ink gave it away.
“I didn’t see you head in the direction of the store, so I made you a bento. Hope you like it! -JJK”
You wanted to cry again but you were all out of tears. The bento was neatly sealed and placed inside a beautifully woven bag. Bringing it inside you sat it on the counter and popped open the lid. Inside was marinated beef, onigiri, steamed vegetables, and a few pieces of sushi. You grabbed a pair of chopsticks and stuck a piece of beef in your mouth and moaned inwardly. Having lived in the city your entire life you thought you had tasted it all, but this beef was cooked so perfectly it seemed to melt in your mouth. You were in the middle of enjoying this perfect meal when you heard it. A soft mew floated on the breeze and through your open window. Listening again and tilting your head in that direction, it came a little louder the second time. You walked to the window and leaned out. The night was a calm one, so the sea was quiet and all that interrupted the night was the sound of crickets…and a meow. Frowning, you ducked back inside and made your way to your back door. You rounded the house in the direction of the sound and heard it again in the bushes near your window. Pulling your phone from your pocket, you shone the light and a pair of eyes immediately glowed under one of the plants.
“Hey,” you whispered even though your nearest neighbor was several hundred meters away. The small kitten mewed again. “Where’s your mommy?” Mew? It seemed to say.
Getting on your hands and knees you crawled in its direction and much to your surprise, it bounded straight for you.
“Oh!” you cried as it jumped into your arms. Immediately, it started to nuzzle your neck and purr. “Well…okay.” You were a bit taken aback and puzzled at how soon this cat had warmed up to you. In the past, when you were around friends’ cats, they all steered cleared or hissed in your general direction.
You stood from your position and walked back inside to get a closer look at your new friend. Its fur was bright orange and even in the light its green eyes seemed to glow magically. Turning it over you discovered it was a girl.
“You’re a rare baby,” you said shifting it so that you could hold it like a baby. It played with your finger as you brushed along its belly, but it made no attempt to escape your hold.
“Kyongni,” you whispered as the name immediately popped into your head as you remembered your husband’s favorite epic, Toji.
The kitten immediately made eye contact with you and meowed loudly.
“You like that name?” You couldn’t help the smile that crept across your face. “I bet you’re hungry.”
Setting her down on the floor you reached for a piece of your dinner and handed it to her. She immediately took the meat and started chewing furiously. Before you were ready to fall into your bed you had fed her some lunch meat, made a makeshift bed in a box by yours, and found a brush to get some of the dirt from her fur. Plugging in a heating pad, you placed it beneath the blankets and placed  her inside where she instantly curled up and closed her eyes. You looked at her and thought that maybe the following days didn’t have to be so sad after all.
After you made your tea, you sat in bed and sipped at the delicious blend he had yet again nailed. Embarrassment flooded through you as you thought of your day’s encounter with Jeongguk. As much as you didn’t want to face him again you were going to have to apologize for how you acted and thank him for the food.
That night you had no dreams or nightmares.
The next morning you awoke to Kyongni mewing loudly in her box. You rolled over to see her standing, paws on the edge of the box, and looking at you as if to say, “It’s about time you woke up.”
“Hey, sweet baby.” You swung your legs over the side of your bed and reached into the box. “Let me get cleaned up and find something for you at the store.”
An hour later, you had laid a few newspapers down just in case, sat out a bowl of water, and a promise to Kyongni that you’d be back later. She simply meowed and jumped onto your couch and onto the windowsill she had discovered.
Your walk would take you past the tea shop so you figured you would bite the bullet and pop inside. The shop was bustling, and it was the most amount of people you had seen in one place since you moved here. A group of older women sat at a table near the windows gossiping about someone who had recently left their book club for another, the same mysterious man you had seen was sitting at his same spot reading the newspaper, and a very disheveled mom was enjoying her first sip of tea as her baby sat slumbering in its carrier beside her. Jeongguk was busy helping a teenager pick a tea, ensuring her that it had more caffeine in it than her usual coffee order. He hadn’t noticed you yet, so you decided to take your spot at the bar and wait. You watched him as he worked, not having seen him interact with anyone else beside yourself. He gave the girl just as much rapt attention that he had been giving you and didn’t seemed the least bit put out that she couldn’t decide on what she wanted. His eyes wandered briefly and landed on you, beaming and giving a nod before turning back to the girl who was smelling various teas out of the jars he had placed on the counter. About ten minutes later, tea in hand, and happily walking out of the shop, the girl left, and he was standing before you.
“Hey, _____! Did you like the tea I gave you yesterday? I hope it helped with the dizziness.”
“It was lovely. Got a good night’s sleep, too.” You stared awkwardly at your hands as you picked at the imaginary dirt under your fingernails. “Look,” you started. “I want to apologize for the way I acted yesterday.”
Jeongguk looked puzzled when you finally decided to look at him.
“What?” You knew that he knew exactly what you were talking about but was trying to save you the embarrassment.
“I freaked out for a second. There’s a lot you don’t know about me and sometimes…,” you trailed off without knowing what else to say.
“Listen,” he said leaning forward on his elbows and you caught a whiff of him that caught you off guard. He smelled strongly of cinnamon and berries. “You’ve been through a traumatic experience that much I can tell.”
Your mouth fell open and he held up his hand to stop you from speaking.
“You don’t have to talk about it unless you want to. I get it. You don’t have to explain it to me. I’m just here to ease the pain a little bit.”
His face softened as he looked at you and at the same time so did your heart. Relief washed over you because now he knew.
“I…I’d like to talk about it…some time. If that’s okay?” You felt like a child; small and vulnerable, but your therapist had told you that talking about the pain would ease the sadness.
“Sure!” he said standing back up and acting like nothing had happened. “How about you come see the tea I’m growing right now? You can come by tomorrow if you’d like. It’s my off day.”
“I’d love to,” you smiled.
His gaze lingered on you a moment longer before he seemed to snap out of it. “Did you have something in mind for today?”
“Something to-go, please. I have a new friend at home.”
“Oh?” You saw something flash in his eyes before he turned to grab a jar from the shelf. He stopped talking or looking at you as he busied himself with the kettle.
“Yea,” you sighed dreamily, playing into the act. “Listens to everything I have to say, loves to cuddle…” You saw his shoulders slump slightly. “Purrs a lot and really loves beef.”
He turned to look at you inquisitively. “Did you say purrs a lot?”
“Yea, I found a cat. Or, I guess the cat found me. Showed up at my house last night so I need to go get supplies for it.”
“The grocery store has a small section,” he said setting the cup down in front of you with a look of relief on his face.
You sat money on the counter and grabbed the small paper cup, smelling near the opening and caught hints of lavender.
“Thank you, by the way, for the food. You didn’t have to do that.”
He scoffed and waved his hand. “No big deal.”
“It was all very good. You’re an extremely talented cook as well.”
His cheeks flushed a dark red color as he grabbed a towel and began wiping the counter.
“Here,” he said grabbing a napkin and a pen. He jotted something down and handed it over to you. “My number.” He coughed and scratched the back of his neck. “For, you know, tomorrow. I can text you directions.”
You reached to take the napkin from him and his fingers brushed against yours. Jumping slightly, you retracted your hand and placed the napkin in your bag.
“Thank you, Jeongguk,” you said holding up the tea. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yea,” he laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The shop seemed like a warm blanket that you had just pulled from the dryer and you were hesitant to leave it. Even with the chatter and Jeongguk busily moving things behind the counter, you felt peace here. Your heart swelled in your chest at the thought of being here once more and you were sad to leave its warm embrace.
The next day brought clear skies and sunshine. Kyongni was happily lounging at the foot of your bed when you awoke, and she blinked blearily at you as you sat up.
“Did you rest well?” you asked her, rubbing behind her ears as she purred loudly. She had loved the food you’d gotten and litterbox training, who? She was, in your opinion, the perfect cat. “I’m going to his house today.” She looked at you pensively before reaching out a paw and laying it on top of your hand. “Is this a good idea?” Her head cocked to the side as the stared at you. “I guess it couldn’t hurt.” She removed her paw and began to lick her fur. “You’ve convinced me.”
What should you wear? Why were you even thinking about this? Just dress like you normally would. After about fifteen minutes of telling yourself what you had decided to wear was fine, you dug through your bag for the napkin he had written his number on. Sighing deeply, you took the plunge.
[you]: Hey, Jeongguk, sorry if I’m texting a little early, but I wasn’t sure when you wanted me to drop by today.
That seemed simple enough. You didn’t want to sound too eager. It wasn’t a full minute later before your phone vibrated in your hand and you felt your heart lurch in your chest.
[Jeongguk] I’ve been up so you’re okay! Ummmm wanna come over in about thirty minutes? I’ll text the directions.
You had discovered early on that anything and everything worth getting to in town was within walking distance. The directions he had sent were simple enough. With a kiss to Kyongni’s head and a promise to call Ki in the event of your death, you headed out.
The walk took you all of thirty minutes. It would have been faster if you hadn’t stopped to examine some wildflowers you had never seen before. Jeongguk’s house was up on one of the hills behind town, not easily seen through the trees, but when it came into your view it took your breath away. It was two-story but small, painted a light green that matched the surrounding trees, and had an immaculate garden out front. He must have been watching because he eagerly stepped out of his front door and threw a dish towel over his shoulder. He wasn’t wearing a large sweater like he usually did at the shop, but instead had on a plain white t-shirt and joggers that showed the muscles you guessed he had and were made painfully aware of in that moment.
“Hey!” he called out while walking down the steps. “I hope you’re hungry because I made brunch.”
“If I would have known that I would have brought something.”
He waved his hand dismissively. “You’re my guest.”
He turned and headed back inside, and you followed dutifully behind. The inside of his house was just as cozy as his café. The smells emanating from a yet unseen kitchen had your mouth watering. You followed him into this kitchen, and you were met with a comforting sight. Much like the café, herbs were strung up in the windows that lined the entire back side of the house. Out past them was an even bigger garden and several different rows of tea bushes. A fat, white cat laid on a hammock hung in the corner and in direct contact with the morning sun. It blinked lazily at you with large, blue eyes before closing them and laying back down again.
“That’s Bungeoppang…he loves fish,” he said shyly.
“Fish bread hardly has fish in it,” you laughed.
“Yea, but he’s cute like fish bread.”
He started grabbing several small dishes of banchan and brought them over to the large table by the windows.
“If you want to help, I kinda overdid it with the small dishes if you can bring them over here,” he laughed as he balanced three on his forearm.
Setting your bag down you quickly walked over to the counter and surveyed the damage he had done. Ssamjang, dongchimi, gyeran mari, spicy tuna, and many others dotted the counter amongst vegetable refuse and shavings of ginger.
“You really did out do yourself.”
“I got excited, okay?” His smile was wide as he came up beside you to grab a large bowl of rice. “I don’t get visitors often.”
Your heart hurt in your chest at his boyish, dopey grin and his admission at being excited to have you over but you quickly dampened the feeling before you let it get the best of you. You both quickly moved every dish he had made over to the table and before long, you were both trying to figure how to move them so that’d you would both have a place to sit. Jeongguk scratched the back of his neck as he looked down, scooting plates here and there and stacking the ones that could be without mess. Once the both of you were settled, he handed you a pair of lovingly worn chopsticks. The few moments of comfortable silence as the both of you started to eat was only broken here and there when something was asked to be passed. You were each sated well enough to begin a conversation before long.
“I needed that. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I walked in here and smelled that pork belly,” you said while reaching for more cucumber kimchi.
“Well, besides the meat, all of this comes off the property.” Jeongguk gestured proudly at the dishes around as if he were a king looking over his treasures.
“You even made the kimchi?”
“I have a few onggi’s in the back,” he said so matter-of-factly as if every household had one.
“I have a few onggi’s in the back,” you said back in a mock tone.
His face flushed red immediately as he started to defend himself. “It’s just! You know! I can make so much at once! Who wants to go to the store all the time?”
“No, no, no,” you said between laughing, “I love it! You just sound like my grandma is all. Living in the hills and making your own kimchi.”
“The young today would do well listening to their elders,” he said regally.
Lunch passed by lazily. He had opened the windows next to the table and a cool breeze aired out the house. A mixture of florals and something spicier wafted into your nose.
“Gonna show me what’s out there?” you asked, pointing a chopstick out the window.
“Of course. Are you done?” He wiped his mouth and placed his napkin on the table before standing up from the pillow he sat on and reached out his hand to you. At first, you were surprised, and the sun seemed to shine a little brighter. A single bird chirped outside, and you heard Bungeoppang meow softly.
“…I mean, if you don’t want help that’s okay, too,” you heard him say as he was slowly pulling his hand away.
“No!” you said lunging forward and grabbing his hand almost a little too desperately. “I’m sorry, I was just thinking about yo-something.” You tried to quickly cover up your blunder. He didn’t seem to notice as he smiled again and helped you to your feet.
“I’ll worry about his later,” he said pointing towards all the uneaten food. He walked to the door and opened it before turning to you expectantly. Bungeoppang jumped off his hammock to walk in and out of his legs before trotting off to a spot beneath a tree. The garden buzzed both mentally and physically. The same feeling as the café and his home bled into the garden as well; you searched for the source of the power, but it seemed to be all around you. Bees buzzed lazily amongst the wildflowers he had planted along the path to the rows of tea bushes. You followed a few feet behind him and watched him as he walked. All the flowers seemed to turn from the sun and face him as he passed; only going back to their original positions as you walked by. Butterflies followed behind him and would then light on the flowers, fluttering their wings and spreading them in the sunlight.
“Camellia sinenis,” he said lovingly as he ran his fingers amongst the leaves of one bush. “Green tea.” He turned and smiled at you and he seemed even more supernatural in his element. No matter where he stood the sun seemed to shine behind him as if to say, ‘Look at him!’
The sound of trickling water reached your ears the further you walked between the rows, Jeongguk calling out the names of each one as if they were his beloved children.
“And these,” he said throwing both arms out wide, “are my koi fish!”
Ahead of you was a pond about ten feet long, five feet wide, and probably no more than three feet deep but several kois swam right below the crystal surface. They varied in color from bright orange, to solid white, and one was even decorated in splashes of orange, white, and black. A golden colored koi seemed to notice Jeongguk first and raced towards the edge of the pond, followed closely behind by the rest. They swarmed the surface excitedly and the water churned amongst their fins. Jeongguk reached for a plastic container under one of the nearby bushes and pulled a handful of food from it and threw it towards the swarm. He held the container out to you, and you grabbed a handful, delighting in the activity below you.
“The gold one is my favorite and my only one. Her name is Geum. She’s my very first koi, probably around six years old now.”
“This is beautiful, Jeongguk.”
“You really think so?” The way he looked at you told you he was yearning for approval. Perhaps his dad hadn’t come in a long time? It must be lonely in such a large house alone.
“I mean it,” you smiled.
“Come sit,” he said as he gestured towards a large, hand carved wooden bench. The designs along its back and arms were intricate and worn a little with age. “My mom carved it.” Jeongguk noticed you running your finger along the wing of a bird.
You looked at him, wide-eyed. “She made this?”
“My creativity came from her.”
“You must be a lot like her.”
Jeongguk stared wistfully out at the fish who now resumed their lazy swimming about the pond.
“I’m sorry…,” you whispered.
“Oh! It’s okay! I was just thinking about her is all. I just…you know, I don’t take time to think about her like I should anymore. I’ll see things here and there that will remind me of her. Hell,” he laughed, “sometimes I catch myself talking to her like she’s here. She was my biggest inspiration…and my biggest loss.”
You both sat in silence for some minutes more before he spoke up again.
“I almost let this place go when she died. I didn’t harvest any of the teas that year, weeds were overtaking everything, the pond was even filled with all types of weeds and scum. But then one day I had a dream about her. She was sitting in the garden out here and it was beautiful. The day was bright.” He squinted up at the sun as he spoke. “There were bees, butterflies, and birds flying about amongst the tea bushes. No weeds, nothing. And I just sat with her. She didn’t speak, she just held my hand and when I woke up, I felt so…relieved. The next day I came out here and started cleaning the place up and I haven’t looked back since.”
Your mouth vomited the words before your brain could catch up. You were caught up in Jeongguk’s somber story and your heart ached for him and suddenly you wanted to relate to him so he wouldn’t feel alone.
“My husband died.”
You saw him twitch slightly and his grip tightened on the arm of the bench. He turned his body towards you and reached out as if he wanted to hold your hand but drew back.
“I…I’m so sorry. I had no idea you were married.”
“Why should you? It’s not your fault and it’s okay…really. I honestly never planned to just dump that on you.”
“I don’t know what it’s like to lose a spouse, but I am, obviously, very well versed in loss; if there’s anything you want to talk about, I’m all ears.” His smiled broadened at the end of his statement, reeling you into his comfortable aura once more.
What could it hurt to tell him? It wasn’t like you were hiding some huge secret.
“Well,” you sighed, “he had a brain tumor.”
Jeongguk sat patiently beside you, not a sound coming from his side save for the occasional tap of fingernail against the wood and the shuffle of his feet in the gravel around the bench.
“Very aggressive. He died three years ago. We met in high school and dated through University. We got married before we graduated. Then, we got our dream jobs. We thought we had it made; we were good financially, our jobs were going well, we got a new house, and we were even talking about kids.” Your voice trailed off at the end as you thought about the children you would never get to meet. Your silent guardian shifted ever so slightly to let you know he was still listening.
“He died within the month that we found out.” Jeongguk’s nails scraped along the wood as his hand made a fist; he was anxious but wasn’t trying to show it. “Of course, I stayed there, I didn’t know what else to do. His family and I…didn’t really get along very well after and we eventually became estranged. They’re still oddly nosey about my life, though. Then, I decided there was nothing tying me there anymore, so I decided to pack up and leave. My life felt like it had a dull, gray film over it all the time. Every time I rounded a corner in my house, I expected him to be there smiling at me while he typed on his computer or sat in the reading nook with a cup of tea, or…,” your voice caught at the end. Jeongguk’s fingers spread out wide on the bench and he moved his hand until his pinky barely touched your leg. “What I wouldn’t have given to see him walking through our front door just one more time.” You had to stop, or you would be in full blown tears before too long.
Once more, silence fell between you. Nothing was strange, his hand stayed steady beside you on the bench, and you willed your tears to not fall. The sun was making its journey across the sky and by Jeongguk’s deduction, it was probably somewhere around 2:00.
“Come on,” he said getting up suddenly. His movements knocked you out of your daze. “I picked some fresh peaches today and I bought some fresh cream from Mrs. Kim, so I have dessert for us.”
“Spying on me? Peaches are my favorite fruit,” you said, trying to lighten the mood once more.
“Lucky guess!” he called back as he headed down the path between the bushes.
Bungeoppang was laid out on his side, still under the tree, and very much asleep as you passed. Once inside the kitchen, Jeongguk removed previously sliced peaches from his refrigerator, placed some in two bowls, and poured cream over them. He grabbed a bento box and brought it to the table with him as the both of you ate. While chewing, he began grabbing bits of the several dishes in front of him with chopsticks and was quickly filling the bento until it was neatly packed. He secured the band around it and stuck it in a bag before tying it shut and sitting it beside you.
With his mouth full he said, “In case you get hungry tonight, or you can have it for lunch tomorrow.”
“You really don’t have to-“
“You think I’m gonna eat this all myself?”
You laughed at his exaggerated gesture of sweeping his arm out across the table as his eyes bulged.
“I guess you’re right.”
That was when you felt it. The first little bit of stabbing pain you hadn’t expected to come back so soon, if at all. That first sting in your heart when your husband died was the worst it had ever been. Days after, the pain in your chest only subsided when you were able to get a few precious moments of sleep. Months later, the pain was dull, but still ever present. A year and then two went by and the pain only came on rare instances when you were having a really bad day. When his words and his comfort was needed the most was when you felt that stab straight through your heart. Yet, here you were, accepting the hospitality of a new friend and you felt the sting. Guilt blanketed you like an old friend, grasping at your shoulders and whispering in your ear. Your smile faltered as Jeongguk looked on and his expression changed to that of confusion before quickly painting a smile on once more.
“I think there is a storm coming in this afternoon. Don’t worry about helping me here, I can clean up, and you need to get home before the weather gets bad.”
He stood up quickly from where he sat and grabbed a couple of plates to bring into the kitchen. You grabbed your bento and bag. The sting was starting to subside and soon you felt guilty for possibly making Jeongguk feel bad.
“I can’t thank you enough for today,” you began. “I really enjoyed everything, and you have a beautiful home here. I only hope to have a garden like yours one day.” You tried to make your smile genuine.
“Well, if you ever need tips, I’m your man.”
“Thank you, again,” you said as you walked to the front door, him following close behind to let you out.
“I’ll see you at the shop then?” He was looking at you with a question in his eyes and high expectations on the rest of his face.
“Of course,” you smiled. Maybe you said it awkwardly. Maybe he hadn’t even noticed your change in mood. You waved before turning and headed back down into town and home.
The sky overhead started to turn a dark shade of gray. You had had no idea that it was even supposed to rain today. Winds picked up and blew leaves across your path. Your chest felt tight and once again, the stabbing pain of guilt seemed like the lightning now streaking the skies. Seconds after you shut your door against the howling wind, the sky opened up. Kyongni trotted out of your room and into the hallway in greeting, rubbing against your legs and purring.
“Is the storm scaring you?” you asked as you picked her up. She only stared at you with sleepy eyes as she continued to purr.
The hot bath you took did nothing to settle the uneasiness in your bones. The wind became high pitched as it came through cracks in the windows and the rain beat hard against your roof. Maybe a book would distract you, but you soon found out that even that wasn’t enough right now. You settled, then, to just turn off the light and lay in darkness. Lightning flashed outside, creating stark shadows against your wall. Turning over, you reached out to Kyongni who lay beside you, curled up, and fast asleep. Why did the weather outside match what you were feeling inside? A storm of emotions seemed to push and pulse inside your heart. On one hand, you were thankful for Jeongguk. He had accepted you with open arms as soon as you moved here and made you feel at home. He had even invited you into his own home. That didn’t mean anything. On the other hand, everything you were doing was wrong. Jeongguk is nice, good-looking, single, and you shouldn’t be talking to him. You had taken vows, to hell with ‘til death do you part’ you had promised someone your life. Even though he was dead, any other feelings you had towards anyone else made you feel as if he would find out. He would find out you were cheating and somehow, he’d never forgive you for it.
What was so wrong with making friends? But you knew, deep down inside, you had come to like Jeongguk. Not just for his boyish good looks, but because of how open, forgiving, friendly, and almost loving he had become. Not loving in the way of falling in love, but of the small gestures; sending you home with tea, leaving food at your door, and inviting you to see his passion.
Maybe if you didn’t pursue it…maybe Jeongguk didn’t even slightly feel the same way as you and you were just overthinking this entire situation. You sighed knowing you weren’t going to be giving yourself any more answers tonight. Brushing your hand along Kyongni’s fur, you finally fell asleep amidst the storm.
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You were four months into your new routine in life. Every day, unless you were sick or otherwise detained, you were at the café ready to greet the day with a warm cup of tea. Sometimes Jeongguk would have a new creation for you to try or he’d subject you to a Frankenstein’s monster pastry that he “dreamed of” the night before. Every day he’d greet you with the same huge smile. You had never seen the sadness in his eyes that he held when he talked about his mother again. Sometimes, he would have a bento made of food that he kept tucked away until you arrived.
“You know I can cook, right?” you asked him one day, jokingly, as you passed a cleaned bento box from a previous lunch he had given you.
He simply shrugged as you both passed the boxes. “Sometimes I make too much food.”
But you knew he didn’t. Sometimes, the fruit inside the boxes were so fresh they had to have been cut the same day, if not minutes before your arrival.
On this day, you had entered the café to see the same mystery man reading his newspaper and the chattering book club.
“Have you been to that Italian restaurant in town?” He had asked this while leaning on both elbows, gazing around the café, but not having a direct conversation with you in that moment.
“Are you talking to me?” you asked, but first you had checked behind you to make sure no one else was near.
“Yes, silly. Who else?”
“I thought someone had walked up.”
“So, have you been?”
“Where?”
“Oh my god, ______,” he said rolling his eyes before laughing, “the Italian restaurant, do you not listen to anything I say?” He said it in a mock tone that you had used several times to make fun of your ex mother-in-law.
“No,” you giggled, “I have not. I make food and sometimes I get so much food from you that I don’t have to worry about groceries for a week.”
He stuck his tongue out at you as he rotated his elbows just enough to face you.
“Would you like to go? It can be on me.”
You willed your traitorous heart to stop beating so fast because you were sure he could probably hear it. You were also telling the nagging voice in the back of your brain to shut up.
“Like…a date?”
He sputtered and stood straight at the counter. “I…uh, well…not necessarily…I mean if you wanted it to be I guess, but…uh…we could just,” he started to grab things and frantically organize in a panic, “I could just meet you there I suppose,” he knocked a container full of sugar on the counter, “Crap. So, it’s not a big deal if you-“
“I’d love to.”
His head shot up and he was looking at you with large eyes. Shock was written across his features and you hadn’t even known his eyebrows could go up that high.
“Really?”
“Why not? Let’s do it,” you smiled. You were surprising yourself at how calm you were being. The last few months had been a lesson on forgiveness; forgiving yourself and the actions you deemed “inappropriate”. Doing so had let Jeongguk in a little more and you found yourself feeling a little less guilty and little more drawn to him.  
He blew out a heavy sigh of relief, hip hitting the counter as he slumped, and threw a towel over the mess he had made.
“I was trying to think of an exit strategy while I was talking. That’s why I was all over the place,” he mumbled as his cheek pressed against his arm.
Your heart melted a little and your body relaxed as you watched his internal struggle. Despite being just as anxious as you, he managed to always calm you in some way. Being in the café only seemed to heighten his supernatural ability to leave you both breathless and relieved.
“When would you like to go, you anxious little bun?”
He stood straight then, chest out, and a proud look on his face. “Anxious? Me? Also, bun?”
You felt your face burn red at the pet name you had mentally given him and just decided to blurt out like an idiot. Maybe your friendship wasn’t as comfortable as you thought.
“Forget I said that,” you said quickly.
“Oh, hell no. Bun?!” he started to laugh and you saw the man in your peripheral shift his newspaper a little to peer over the top.
“Jeongguk, shut up,” you whispered.
He leaned on his forearms across the counter and got extremely close to your face as he stared in your eyes. You leaned back a little, but your gaze didn’t waver.
“Explain yourself,” he said seriously, but you saw joy swirling in his eyes.
“When you smile…you look like a little bunny,” you said while finally breaking eye contact. You couldn’t look him in the face as you said it.
His smile reached his eyes and they disappeared as he laughed.
“Cute.”
You wanted to die. You were so caught up in him asking you out that you decided to let your guard slip too much.
“Anyway, when would you like to go?”
“Tomorrow? I can close up early.”
“Deal.”
“Not a date anymore?” he winked, but you could see he was seeking validation.
Butterflies swirled in your stomach and there seemed to be several dozen vying for space to fly. You couldn’t help the genuine smile that you gave him in that moment.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jeongguk,” you said standing from your chair.
He grinned knowingly at you, the most flirtatious you had seen him in a while.
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Friday morning was met with the perfect temperature as you sat outside on your back porch with Kyongni in your lap. You were going to forego the tea shop today in favor of cleaning around the house and then getting ready for your “date” later. Standing from your chair as soon as Kyongni jumped down to pursue a lizard, you walked over to the edge of the house to look out towards the water. Down the hill and in town, it was bustling with activity with the fishermen cleaning up for the day and leaving the smaller fish out for the hovering birds. It all seemed normal…it all seemed right. You finally felt good about being here and it was all falling into place.
What you couldn’t see was the storm just beyond the horizon, lying in wait, ready to lay waste to anything it touched.
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valkyriesryde · a year ago
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Release the Hounds {10/?}
Chapter 10: Face Value
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Pairing: Persephone!Steve Rogers x Hades!Reader
Chapter Summary: Steve gets himself into trouble and nobody is really surprised by that. But there’s only one little flower that can get him out.
Word Count: 2,392
A/N: Wow I’m back to being awful with updates, I’m sorry my lovelies, uni and mental health have been kicking my ass but this was half written and while i procrastinate with everything else in my life I wanted to get it done for you all. I hope you enjoy it!!
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Everyone caught wind about what Demeter was up to pretty quickly in the following weeks. Steve heard it from Bucky who heard it from Natasha who heard it straight from Thor. From then on he was constantly looking over his shoulder, the curtains were constantly drawn shut and he feared leaving the apartment. 
Bucky stopped visiting him so often, it wasn’t safe and Steve understood that but it didn’t make it hurt any less. He was lonely, he was scared and every day when the walls creaked or there was noise outside he held the black dahlia in his hand just in case. 
Hades heard the news too, Peter kept her updated on what he heard and as the messenger of the gods he heard quite a bit. Nobody suspected he was helping Hades at all, nobody suspected where his loyalties lay. So he told her how she was searching for Steve, about how Demeter demanded Hades be blamed for his disappearance, about how she had nymphs and monsters searching the mortal world for her son. 
Demeter claimed, even if it was of his own accord he was not safe. Hades had brainwashed him somehow, Hades was going to hurt him somehow. She was losing her mind and people were letting her go crazy because of it. 
She tried to drag Quill into it, tried to get him on her side because Hades punished him and he must hate her but Quill refused to go anywhere near Demeter. Bucky knew why, Bucky knew it was because Quill had already chosen his side and he knew Demeter was all talk, especially compared to Hades who he had seen only as a person of action. 
Most Olympians, they avoided Demeter, they kept working, they left Thor and Jane to deal with her because Thor hadn’t chosen a side yet. He listened to Demeter’s demands, but he also claimed there was no evidence of wrongdoing, which there wasn’t. From an outside perspective, Steve had run away from his controlling mother. From a slightly more inside perspective, Steve had run away from his controlling and abusive mother. 
From Bucky’s perspective, he had saved his friend from a lifetime of torture, and knowingly put into motion a prophecy he knew about. If he wasn’t the god of fortune he would have suspected that the consequences for his actions be dire, but he didn’t care about the prophecy, he cared that his friend was safe as long as Demeter didn’t get her dirty hands on him.  
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Because Bucky couldn’t leave Olympus as often to bring Steve supplies Steve had to venture out into the world on his own. He kept a dagger on him at all times, he keep the black dahlia in his pocket wherever he went and he was constantly aware of his surroundings. 
He had some money, nothing extravagant but Bucky had left him with an emergency fund. It’d been two days since he last ate and he needed food soon before he started to starve. He’d put off going out for too long and now he had no choice. So he took all precautions as he ventured out to the streets of New York. 
It took half the trip before he noticed someone was following him. They had been since he left the supermarket, perhaps they caught sight of him when he had taken his hood off in the store. 
Nonetheless Steve’s steps quickened. He turned left instead of right just to see if they were following him. Their speed quickened too and they turned after he did. 
About 50 metres behind him the figure followed. He couldn’t quite make out what they were, he didn’t recognise them, he knew they were male from the reflection he caught in the shop window but that was it. No nymph he knew, probably a monster of some kind. 
Another left and a right. They’re still following him and he’s almost broken out into a run. At this point his new home was about an hours walk away. He didn’t know the area he was in and if he knew better he would have caught on that he was being herded as three other men followed his movement from various locations around him.
Steve was being hunted and he had a gut feeling things were about to turn bad. 
In his head he heard Hades’ voice; “use the dahlia…she has no eyes in the Underworld…I’ll protect you there…use the dahlia” 
He could protect himself, perhaps he was just being paranoid. His hand held the paper flower tightly in his pocket just in case though.
When Steve noticed a second man on the opposite side of the road, an exact replica of the man behind him, he knew he was in more trouble than he had initially thought. In a couple steps there was an alleyway, he turned down it, weaving past the bodies and as soon as he rounded the corner he tore off a petal and let it fall to the floor.
As soon as his foot hit the petal it was as if the ground swallowed him and immediately he disappeared. Seconds later the first man rounded into the alleyway but there was nothing there. Not even a trace of magic or a flower sprouting. He was gone.  
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Steve appeared in the throne room of Hades’ home, his back to the throne itself, his vision was blurry as he regained his footing on solid ground again. A yelp came from his side and he spun around to meet Wanda standing by the window.
“This can’t be good,” she said but there was no worry on her face, just a welcoming smile. 
“I uh, I had to use,” Steve puffed looked around him but there was no one else in the room, his searching was cut short though as his eyes caught the window Wanda stood in front of.
It was large and so clean he thought for a second the windows were wide open but the slight breeze that swept through the grass told him otherwise. Underneath the window was a table decorated haphazardly in fruits, books and papers. Steve’s attention was on the view, the fields that he’d never seen so beautiful. He could just make out the moving souls, how some scurried around the field, how others stayed in one place. He couldn’t help but think how beautiful it would be if it weren’t for the overcast in the sky. He wondered if the sun ever did shine brightly in Hades, if the souls ever felt the warmth, if the light reflected off of them or went through them. But the sky was grey, it threatened warmth and rain at the same time.
“It looks almost sad,” he muttered to himself, “the grass needs sun…” he muttered about different techniques and plant types that would be better for this environment.
“None of us really have a green finger,” a deep and annoyed voiced sounded behind him. Sam stood tall and protective with his arms crossed, glaring at Steve while a boy, who looked to be the same build as Peter stood behind him, copying Sam’s protective stance.
“Is this him?” The boy asked Sam.
“Sadly. Hades know he’s here?” He directed his question to Wanda but the boy spoke first.
“I thought the Underworld was shut from any outsiders, he’s an Olympian, better yet he’s the reason she’s in this mess!” The boy’s voice rose with anger and disapproval at Steve, he looked the god of spring up and down and shook his head. It was clear he blamed all the trouble Hades had been through on Steve, as he should. “Harley!” Wanda scolded.
So this was Harley. This was Hades son, that was Thanatos, that was the one she trusted to bring souls to Chiron. No one knew much about Hades family. They knew she was the oldest of the three, Thor, Loki and her. They knew she was never the leader. They knew she saw her judges as family and treated them as such. The gods knew that Harley was her son. They also knew that he and Peter were friends, that they worked together often. Yet no one really knew anything about the relationship between Hades and Harley. 
There were rumours of course, some said that he was born similarly to Natasha, some thought he was the product of an affair with Pietro or some other lesser god in the underworld. Some even thought he wasn’t hers at all and she just saw him as a son. They were wrong. He was her blood. There’s no sad backstory, there’s no deeper meaning to the dynamic between Hades and Harley. They are mother and son. They are the centre of a wider family. That’s all there is. Steve was just surprised to see the boy he’d only ever heard about.
“She doesn’t know,” Wanda’s eyes moved around the room nervously Steve bowed his head, he missed her glance to the thrown but Sam caught it. 
“I had to use a petal from the-“
“I figured as much.” Sam bit back though his tone wasn’t as harsh as it was initially, perhaps his stoic exterior was more habit than his actual feelings towards the god of spring. 
“I don’t understand though, she said it would take me to her but she’s not here?” 
“You’re friends with Bucky, you should know not to take things you’re told at face value.” Sam was right about that, Bucky always told him that in magic and prophecy things are never quite as they seem, ‘don’t trust the words themselves’ he’d told him one night. 
“So why did she bring me here?”
“You’re coming to Asphodel with me, you want to learn about the fields and it’ll distract you.” Wanda spoke up as she pulled a jacket over her shoulders, “don’t worry, you’re safe here. Come on then.”
The pair walked past the men and out the front door towards the fields, from the window where Steve had stood in the throne room Harley watched them walk down the path towards Asphodel while Sam lounged across the steps at the base of the throne.
“Why are you letting him hide here?” Harley asked.
“Because it’s the least we could do. He doesn’t deserve to be hunted Harley,” her voice was soft and understanding. She knew Harley didn’t trust easily, especially Olympians. It had taken a millennia to convince him Peter was a friend and that was only after Hades had openly shown her acceptance of him. 
Hades sat on the large black throne, her legs draped over the arm rest and her helmet hanging off a spike above her head.
“You’re really doing this then? Letting him stay here?” Sam questioned as Harley sat beside him, they both looked up at the queen. “Do you want to start a war with Demeter?”
“Could be fun to have him here,” she shrugged and Sam stared at her with his mouth hanging open.
“it cOuLd Be FuN that’s what you sound like.” Harley mocked.
“You’ve officially gone fucking crazy. Does Thor know he’s here? Are you going to tell him? You were told to stay out of this as much as you can, this doesn’t prove your innocence at all!” Sam cried out, he tried to reason with her but she brushed him off.
“You know the prophecy-“
“Oh come on! You’re trying to prove it wrong then? Indulging in his fascination with you or this place doesn’t do that. Getting close to him doesn’t do that!” Sam was getting more and more irritated with Hades as her attention stayed on Harley who had turned back to look out the window from his seat on the steps. He couldn’t see Steve and Wanda anymore. “Were you not listening to what I said to Steve? You can’t take these things at face value, you’re not who the prophecy says you are!” 
Harley’s eyes squinted in the sun as it shone through the window making it even harder to find Wanda in Asphodel. “Then there shouldn’t be a problem with him being here.”
“What?” 
“Exactly, thank you Harley.” 
“Sam’s right,” he said.
“Yes, thank you” Sam beamed.
“What do you mean?” Hades asked, her legs swinging off the armrest and her feet dropping to the floor. 
“You both are in a way,” he turned back to them suddenly, worry and excitement on his face. “Him being here could be a good thing, it could also start a war if Demeter found out. And the prophecy, we don’t know it’s actual meaning we only have speculation and theories but we shouldn’t just assume the worst from it.”
“Harley I don’t understand, you know what it says, you know what it means for me, for the Underworld?!” Hades furrowed her brows as Harley stood and pulled her hands to bring her to the windows. 
“Olympus is in the northern hemisphere yes?” 
“Yes?”
“It’s almost October, it should be getting colder. It has been for weeks now here because we have the same seasonal calendar as the northern hemisphere of the mortal world just like Olympus.” Harley kept explaining as the three of them stood before the windows, Sam felt it first, the warmth on his face, the sun in his eyes. “So tell me why the sun is shining.” He paused as Hades gulped and squeezed his hand. “When the wind is still…”
“…and the air is cold…” Sam continued.
“…the sun will shine in Hades,” she choked out. 
“Maybe you’re right to be wary of it mum, but I don’t think it’s all bad.” Harley said, he tried to ignore the tears in his mother’s eyes as she nodded her head.
“I think you’re right. You’re too smart for this world,” she smiled at him. 
There was no stopping the prophecy Cassandra and Bucky had given her all those years ago. It was here, it had begun and whether she liked it or not, it put her and everyone she loved in danger. But for now, for now as they looked out at the fields of the Underworld and saw Wanda, Steve and Pietro walking along the outskirts, at least the sun was shining. Even if she didn’t quite know what that meant for the days to come.
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Chapter Eleven: Wine Plays Tricks on the Tongue
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power-of-plot · a year ago
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Armin Arlet x Fem! Reader. Oneshot. -Strong-
The first paragraph is purely a small introduction, just in case you wanna go straight to the fic :)
First of all, thanks for reading this! So! i often considered posting but i'm insecure, today i somehow got the confidence and courage to post -definitely not due to watching anime motivational speeches-. I wanted my first post to be something special so i dived deep down into my thoughts for a couple hours, i'm pretty happy with my choice so hope you enjoy it! My apologies if this sucks.
WARNINGS: Some sadness ig? -Armin being a pure soul. Fluff
Summary: Armin suddenly gets an injury during ODM gear training. After Reiner and his protective nature lend a helping hand, you see beyond the walls of his stoicism, people around him made his lack of strenght clear as day and he seemed to accept it but you never wondered if that caused him any pain at all. He needs to know everything has more than one meaning including what is called strenght, you gladly stay by his side to remind him different doesn't mean wrong.
Year 848 three years after the Colossal titan's misterious appearance, in Paradis Island Keith Shadis trained and yelled his lungs out at what soon would be the 104th Cadet Corps. Like any other day, the young cadets rutinarily trained to master the ODM gear, it all would have been the same as other sessions if it wasn't for Armin Arlet, your close and femenine looking friend who in a reckless (and failed-) attempt of proving himself strong to his group discretly tried performing a complex manouver resulting in him crashing into a tree. The few people ahead of him who stopped momentantarily to admire the manouever slowly resumed their way to the target they've had been assigned, just after a couple minutes of trying to walk bearing the pain the silhouette of someone along with the sound of gas and wires pulling something was getting closer by the second at the injured male. "Who's t-.. oh no.." Being around that person for so long made his oceanic eyes know who that brawny body and short blond hair belonged to inmediately, his deep voice shouting erased all the doubt. "Armin!" Reiner said rushing towards him as soon as his feet touched the the grass. As he looked for injuries, finding a twisted ankle, scrapes and bruises; Armin confirmed his suspicions: Reiner had dropped on what he was doing again just to help a single person. Right when he thought the guilt couldn't turn bigger he heard another familiar voice, this one belonged to a female. "Reiner! I saw you going back, what happened? Wait- Armin?!" Your voice turned alarmed after your (e/c) eyes catched a glimpse of your friend's characteristic golden hair, as if that would magically heal his injuries you rocketed towards your comrades at full speed. The crash- landing was rather ungraceful but it was merely trivial compared to an injured friend "(Y/N) are you-" Reiner held out his arms as he walked towards you but you ran past him leaving him standing alone with his arms opened like a rejected boy "Armin!!" You crouched down to him as it seemed he couldn't stand up, worrying you even more "...Hey (Y/N)... what are you..." His glance went lower as the guilt and shame's hand pushed his head down "What do you mean what am i doing? I noticed Reiner was going back from the front and i couldn't find you!- Hey what's wrong?" You asked after noticing a hint of sadness in his eyes, tilting your head and resting your forearms on your knees "Nothing, i must have hit my head that's all.." -because i dared prove something even myself knew full well- He replied blunty, making an adition mentally. His analytic mind was acting as a double ended weapon, either overnalyzing each and every one of his flaws or making the weight his frail shoulders were already carrying heavier. "Armin get on" Reiner said kneeling down turning his back to Armin so he could get on "Hm? It's not necessary, i-i'll just take my time to- ah!" Without further asking the muscular soldier turned around scooping your friend up from the ground into his arms bridal style, his eyes fixed on the grass and his lips released a soft sigh as embarrasment was displayed on his face. In other situation you'd have joked about how he looked cute being held like a baby but a hunch plus his face kept you completely from doing so. "You want to recover fast, don't you?" Reiner asked preparing his equipment to propulse himself again "Y-yeah but why.." "You'll only worsen your condition if you try walking, bear with it just for a while. Besides, what kind of soldier would i be if i left a friend behind knowing i can help him?" His hazel eyes noticed you were about to say something so he remained still to let you get close "It's okay don't be so hard on yourself i just crashed on the ground a moment ago, how did you call it the other day..? You didn't make a mistake, it was a happy accident! (Armin is Bob Ross.) How did you even find out about that manouever anyway?" "I've been analyzing the instructor's movements for a while now..." You deduced Reiner would take him to the infirmary wich he confirmed with a nod after you asked and so, it didn't take a single second for you to decide you'd go with them. The three of you flew and swung across the forest though it seemed like it only was you and Reiner, Armin was so quiet for a moment you even thought he was asleep.
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"..Thank you very much Reiner" The blond thanked him now lying on his bunk, his ankle was bandaged up and his minor injuries were treateed "No problem, don't do anything until you're sure it won't hurt you got it?" "Don't worry Reiner i'll keep an eye on him 'till he's good as new!" You said cheerfuly with a smile as you sat by Armin's side, not caring a bit you were of the few girls in there. Once Reiner walked to his own bunk with Bertholdt you turned to Armin with a curious look "So what're you thinking about, you've been very quiet so it must be serious. Any new interesting thing about the outside world?" "Not really." His response was blunt again, something was definitely on his mind otherwise you couldn't explain why he wasn't as talkative as always. As he quietly stared at the matress above him you tried figuring out what could be bothering the boy since it was a lost cause trying to make him say it, you learnt this after countless tries, thankfully you could always ask for some help with Mikasa; her skills at everything including reading people were so good it was almost frightening. She wasn't there at the time and you couldn't rely on the others forever, a small leap of faith wouldn't do any harm, would it? There was only one thing you could think of. "Armin you are not weak." Your (e/c) eyes looked straight into his blue ones, silence reigned between you two before he hummed softly as if trying to deny "Why so?" It was as you suspected, he was blaming himself for making a simple mistake (-rolling girl vibes- sorry xd). You sighed resting your back on the headboard as your hand gently grabbed his forearm "You know it's not a bad thing to make mistakes, it's an everyday thing" "If we do become actual soldiers we'll risk our and the other's lifes everyday. This training is hard to make us strong, to make sure we don't make a single mistake that could lead to a tragedy" "You are not weak Armin." Your voice reasured in a firmer but gentle tone, he believed in what he had proof of, you would give him the proof he needed. Before he had the chance to turn on his side your hand grabbed his shoulder, making you two lock glances again, for your surprise small tears were forming on the corner of his eyes "I'm sorry.." "D-don't apologize it's okay! Come on let me help you what are you..?" He sat up shaking his head refusing to let a word out even when the tears slipped down his cheeks, it was painful to see Armin weep yet not ask for help, you've had been told he was like this since his childhood but it still was hard to believe and who knows if his overthinking made dealing with things on his own easier, he wouldn't try comforting himself. You sighed placing your hand on his shoulder and moving your thumb caressing the skin beneath his clothes, small muffled sobs could be heard coming from him "After that day on Shinganshina.. hundreds of people were sent there as if they were able to fight the titans, they didn't care if they were kids or elders- my grandfather went in my place, i know it wouldn't have made much of a difference but" He made a pause to try making his breathing go back to normal and hold back his tears, leaving just a small trace under his eyes "But he raised me, he gave me a name.. and i simply let him go straight to his death- i didn't make any effort to tell him i would go because i was scared.." You had to lean closer to listen clearly to what he was saying since he didn't want to drag anyone's attention besides yours "Sometimes i wonder what kind of things must have he felt when he realised he'd die alone..? I want to become a soldier to keep that from happening again, even though i'm just one it'd make a difference if only i.. wasn't such a weak coward" As he spoke you could almost feel the weight of his guilt resting on your shoulders for a moment, had he always been hiding in a shell? Ever since he was a child? A tear sprouted from the corner of your eye imagining how many times he suffered silently. You put your finger to your lower lip as you analyzed what your next move should be, after all it was Armin you were talking about, not all words would have effect on him "Strenght... physical strenght is not the only important thing, YES it is important in a soldier but the mind also matters! I can't lie, you get scared easily but so do i!. What about the snake from the other day? Someone had to remove it from your leg after you paralyzed but you were brave enough to not kick or scream in panic" Let's accept it you sucked at motivational speeches, your attempts usuallly ended up making him chuckle but it was some progress taking in mind you had no idea how to comfort him at the beggining. This time was no exception, he grew a tender smile but it faded away in matter of seconds "Come on Armin, you may be a little slim but what you don't have here-" Your hands abruptly dropped on his arms specifying you refered to muscles, then, your middle finger poked his forehead making him flinch "You have it here" "..What was that f-" He was cut off by your finger presisng against his lips "Shush- you are smart, incredibly smart you just have to see it! We all fall on our butts and feel scared of small things sometimes but that is what makes us humans, if we didn't feel fear or anything at all we'd be just like the titans!" You felt impressed of your own words, the look on his face made it clear he echoed the feeling. You wathed him move with his hands towards you before pulling you into one of the warmest hugs you've ever experienced; he held you so close and tightly you could feel his heart beating against you. "Thank you." His head rested on the crook of your neck, the gold strings of his beatiful hair falling over his face and tickling your nape slightly. You corresponded the gesture by eveloping him into your arms, slowly moving your palm up and down on his back "No problem....... Christa-"
Oof! That was long, congratulations if you read the whole thing!
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