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talenlee · 10 months

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4e: The Bloody Hamadryad and Satyr

Ehhh this article is due up in a few days. And I’m behind because the blog went down. And it’s marking season. And it’s Pride month.

Sure, why not.

I want to make sure that any time I write about 4e D&D, it’s about 4e D&D and that means it’s about the specific edition and not stuff that can be generically applied to and drawn from any other edition of the game. I could just write about tabletop RPGs in general or even about D&D in general and claim it was ‘about 4e’ but that doesn’t do anything as to my motivations for writing about 4e. See, I write about 4e for three basic reasons:

To be an experienced voice willing to talk about 4th edition D&D as someone who engages with it rather than the people who dismiss it without ever engaging with it

To highlight the way that 4e represents a historical contrast to the editions that came before it, and how the problems of that edition are addressed by 4e

I like talking about 4e stuff because I find it fun

And there is still fertile fields for this conversation! What’s surprisingly thin on the ground in 4e is Pride Stuff, and that is because, for the most part, sadly, 4e takes a position of absolute neutrality on issues of gender and sexuality. The 4e way of handling sexuality and gender is to broadly speaking almost never talk about it. There are a few heritages that don’t seem to have genders, like the Shardmind and Wildren, and there are some queer NPCs in some work, but that’s not new territory. It’s more that 4e is the first place where the rules text and lore doesn’t seem to feature gendered language the way it was in 3e. There’s less mention of goddesses with all-female followers, or player class options that are limited to a particular gender.

See.

I did say less, but not no mention, alas.

And that’s where we get to these two.

In one of the last hardback books of 4e, Heroes of The Feywild we got handed a collection of options that manage to hit the high water mark of ‘fine, I guess.’ If you want to play a witch who turns people into frogs, there is a class for that – it’s the wizard. But Heroes of the Feywild brings along specialised powers that fit that flavour better, and honestly, that’s pretty great, I would have liked more of that kind of thing in these splatbooks that didn’t have to bring along variant class rules. Whatever.

Glossary Note: Conventionally, the term used in D&D for this mechanical package is race. This is the typical term, and in most conversations about this game system, the term you’re going to wind up using is race. For backwards compatibility and searchability, I am including this passage here. The term I use for this player option is heritage.

The thing that stands out and apart in this book is the only instance of main-content, coherent, obvious player option information that is mechanically locked to a specific gender, and that gender explicates a binary gender. There’s a heritage in Heroes of the Feywild called the Hamadryad, and Hamadryads are all women. There’s also a heritage called the Satyr, and Satyrs are all dudes.

If you want to, you can play a representative of a culture that is entirely gendered one way, and they’re even really heavily magical cultures, which can get around a lot of the weirdness that that entails. Because trust me, in any given organic society of humanlikes, you have only a very limited amount of time before gender nonconforming individuals started to happen, just because gender is such a flexible space in any given culture. You need something completely inhuman to enforce that simplicity of gender representation because humans in any given segregated space start to Get Gender Feels. It’s not like dudes look at women and think ‘well, now I am captivated by a need to become the thing I looked at, in the same way that a trip to the zoo convinced me to be a gazelle.’

I don’t like these heritages, I don’t allow them in my games. It’s kinda ideological, but that’s behind several layers first. Like if you wanted to play a Satyr in my game because you want that mechanical package I’d give you a grimace but accept it, and find some reason for this mechanical toolset to exist for the one game, but I wouldn’t be putting Satyrs in my game world, not as a culture. The ideological position against them isn’t purely gender based, it’s mostly that they’re boring. And if you did need them in the world, I’d get rid of the gender limitation too, because it’s stupid, and in so doing, I would be taking the one interesting thing about this culture of not-interesting people and getting rid of it.

I think that things in my worlds for my games need to be things that create opportunities to do interesting things. I recognise that 4e needed to serve a lot of different player needs and that’s why there are options presented that may not service the needs of me or my players. The Bladesinger, for example, is there because a specific kind of player really wanted a wizard that could hit things with a sword, and wasn’t satisfied with the idea of, say, playing a Swordmage because that’s the wrong kind of wizard. I can accept that these things are for players who aren’t me and they have more weight when they’re a way of letting a player play something that did exist in an older version of a game in the new version of the game. The Sentinel Druid isn’t something I want to touch with a long stick, but I recognise that some people had experiences of druids in 3e where they weren’t shape-shifting battlefield-controlling doombeasts, and were kind of just healers who made herbal tea. I get that these things are there to serve a need.

But the Satyr and Hamadryad don’t feel like they serve any need at all.

They’re not mechanically distinct. Their stats aren’t unique combinations. Their heritage powers are neither amplifications of an existing powerful axis like the Dwarf and Half-orc offer, nor are they a new axis that you can build on with useful feats like the Eladrin or Dragonborn offer. These mechanical additions are honestly what I consider trinket text – they’re there to make sure a space doesn’t look empty, to make sure that something isn’t missing and ideally presents something that does as little impact as possible in real terms but feels good to be there. If you want an example of good trinket text, check out the Changeling from Eberron, with the extremely low-power shapeshifting power, without which the changeling would absolutely feel like it was missing something.

They’re also not precedented! 3e didn’t have either of these cultures at all! It’s not like someone has been aching for a chance to update their Satyr PC from the Adventure Path and Wizards needed to give them proper support. I was pretty familiar with all the weird cultural options in 3rd edition and I not once remembered getting

This is as close to a wholly new player option introduced right at the end of 4th edition D&D. It brought with it a gender essentialist pair of cultures and they don’t serve any purpose but to be exactly that. There’s no strong reason for them to exist but to present a unique example of a heritage that breaks one of the best examples of neutrality in the mechanical worldbuilding.

And I’m not saying you can’t do something interesting with these cultures. Sure! A Satyr Princess presents one immediate question of ‘but how’ and that’s cool. But is that ‘Satyrs are interesting’ or is it ‘I did something interesting with a cishet cultural perspective on Being Interesting About Gender 101.’

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#DnD4E #DungeonsDragons #Games

#DnD 4e #Dungeons &amp; Dragons #Games

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solreefs · 3 years

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In other news I think my mom knows I’m asexual

#long story short I checked out the 57 bus from the library and she read it before me #and it’s got a glossary of terms for gender and sexuality and stuff #including asexuality #keep in mind that I have never wanted to get married nor really expressed interest in a relationship #and the book defines asexual as “not interested in having sex”#which is a very oversimplified explanation but isn’t exactly WRONG per se #so she showed it to me and I said I already knew about that #and kind of dodged her questions about whether or not I feel this way #oh!#and she may or may not also suspect that I’m nonbinary #(genuinely not sure on this one though)#the main character is agender and she asked me if I ever felt that way #I said I didn’t have an answer #she’s supportive and means well #but it was just a lot at once #you know?#tw mother #tw parents #ask to tag #Ann rambles

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orel0050 · 5 years

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Wow, I'm so tired from the "aces and aros aren't LGBT+ argument". So for this text, I'm going to debunk every argument that I ever heard about it (feel free to response!).

1) Let's come back to their strongest argument that I heard. "Aces and aros aren't involved at LGBT history, therefore they shouldn't be in this community". And in the assumption that its true, why it's even matter? Because this community in general is for people who suffer under Hetronormativity* (anyone look upon as cishet, and if you don't then you are broken or unnatural) Then why don't give aces and aro place that except them. Why it's that hard for you? Why can't we fight againt for our common goal? Represantion and normalization of LGBT+ people, that nobody going to get harmed in any shape or form because of his/her/their sexuality and/or gender identity.

2) "Someone who chooses not to take part at sexual activites aren't LGBT". By it's base this argument is bad. Because asexuality isn't about how much sex you had, it's isn't about if you would like to participate is sexual activites. It's about the fact that you don't expreince sexual atraction. Thats it. There isn't anything hard to understand here.

3) "Aces and aros will take the LGBT+ resources". You know that anyone can take your reaources, right? I can say that I'm gay and I got kicked out of my house while it's not true. And you know that the more people that there is in a community, there is more activism. More activism leading to more changes, and more resources. So if you including us, you can get resources back.

4) "They have AVEN* (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network)". Ok, and? Lesbians, gays, bisexual and transgender folks are also have their own communities, that's make them less LGBT+? Of course not! The LGBT+ Even exist for this purpose, we more stronger together then we are alone. Then why it's suddenly that a big of a deal when we have AVEN?

5) "Asexual and aromantic people don't need to come out of the closet, therefore they aren't LGBT+". This argument is making me so mad. For my own experience, I came out to my mother and she said that "I will find someone" and "it's going to be problematic if I won't find anyone in the future". So yeah... Besides, I sincerely don't get this argument. anyone who is out of the Hetronormativity can come out. Because you break people expectation about who YOU really are. That's the reason the option of "coming out" is even an option at the first place.

6) I heard the argument of "The LGBT+ community is for SGA (Same Gender Attraction). I searched for defenition to this community. And let's use multiple side to prove it. Wikipedia (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT) says that "it may be use to refear to someone who isn't hetrosexual and/or cisgender". By a site called "the center" (https://gaycenter.org/about/lgbtq/) the community defined as someone who is gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, qu**r and they define this word as "Whose sexual oriantation isn't exclusively hetrosexual". The university of California Francisco UCSF ( https://lgbt.ucsf.edu/glossary-terms) says that asexual are LGBT+. Just to let you know, this is the first sites I sees. So yeah, the defenition to this community is someone who isn't hetrosexual, therefore aces and are are LGBT+ by defenition.

Sorry for bad grammer/spelling. And if someone want to prove me that I'm wrong, I'm totally up to it! (I really like to learn new stuff). Please do it in respectful manner, if you don't then don't expect me to discourse with you.

#asexual #aromantic #aromanticism #aroace #aspec stuff #aspec pride #lgbtq #lgbtq community #lgbtpeople #lgbtqia #discourse #asexuality

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purple-haired-faerie · 5 years

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Hi! Ummm I wanted to ask something, and it’s something I haven’t really ever verbalized (which is the reason I’m on anon for this). Lately, I’ve been questioning whether or not I’m on the ace spectrum. I’m definitely not fully ace, and definitely not aro. I’ve had plenty of romantic crushes before. But... I’ve never had sexual feelings for any of them. Or anyone for that matter. Although I look back and wonder if I did for just one moment have sexual feelings for a guy I liked for a year. (1/7)

(Does that make me demi?) I’m only fifteen, and I know hormones are something that are supposed to be huge in my current stage in life, and I’ve taken into account that maybe I’m just not old enough to have those feelings or fully process them. (Am I?) But... is that how it works? I do experience... I don’t know how to phrase this... being turned on, but it’s under very random certain circumstances, and lasts for a very short period of time. (2/7)

Not only that, but it’s never strong enough for me to consider... acting on it. Also, it only happens maybe once every couple of months. I’ve done a lot of research, and the only labels that I can think of that could possibly describe me is Gray-Ace, or even demisexual (for that one time, because I got over the guy shortly afterwards, though we remain friends, and maybe I’ve never established a deep enough connection with someone I liked romantically to feel it). (3/7)

I know labels aren’t required, and many people prefer not to have a definitive one, but labels are something that I function well in. I like to know where I am and who I am and exactly how to describe it. But there’s all these thoughts nagging at me all the time. I am a cis, straight (heteroromantic at least), female. I live in a liberal town with liberal and accepting parents. I have friends who I know would support me. (4/7)

And asexuality seems to be the easiest spectrum to come out as. (Though it’s absolutely not fair for me to say that. There’s a lot of acephobia that many people face and struggle with, and I feel awful even thinking that it’s easy.) I don’t want to feel like I’m an impostor or a wannabe in the LGBT community, and I don’t want to find out later, even years from now, that turns out I’m allosexual and I just didn’t know and everyone will think I lied. (5/7)

Hell, I’m too young to legally have sex, so telling anyone might make them ask me, “oh, but how do you know if you aren’t legally capable of giving consent about sexual acts? Your brain just may not be ready for it.” or they’ll dismiss it like “you’re too young to be having thoughts and feelings like that. Good for you.” Though, at the same time, I almost want to believe that. I feel strange asking, but where do you think I fit? (6/7)

I know it’s up to me to decide where to place myself, and someone else isn’t going to be the same, but... I want someone to tell me what they think is going on so I’m not limited to the stuff inside my head. Thank you for listening to all this crap (wow, this was so much longer than I intended) and thank you for any response you feel okay with giving me. :) (7/7)

Firstly I’m touched you trusted me with this, even if you are on Anon, which is fine as this is clealry a big thing for you that you are trying to process and work out for yourself.

I’m going to try and break this up into sections to help me give the best response to you and I hope that even some of it will be useful for you.

So I’m going to do some definitions to make sure we’re defintely on the same page and clear up any confusion.

Asexual: “An asexual person (“ace”, for short) is simply someone who does not experience sexual attraction. That’s all there is to it. Aces can be any sex or gender or age or ethnic background or body type, can be rich or poor, can wear any clothing style, and can be any religion or political affiliation.” (From “What is asexuality”)

Aromantic: “An aromantic is a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others.” (Psychology Today)

Allosexual: “someone who experiences sexual attraction.” (The gay UK)

Demisexual: “A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It's more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality. In general, demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender; however, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to someone else (whether the feelings are romantic love or deep friendship), the demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire, but only towards the specific partner or partners” (Seventeen)

Definitions done, from reading everything that you have said, I’d say that for you, your sexual orientation and romantic orientation would fall under different groups. From my understanding, you have romantic feelings for others, but no sexual attraction. You’ve said yiou might have felt a sexual attraction towards someone you’d had feelings for, dor about a year. I’m not here to say wether you actually did, or are still are sure and are assuming what you felt was sexual. I’m not you, I don’t know. My personal opinion is that your attraction could come under “Heteromantic demisexual” or “heterosexual asexual”.

Ultimately you still are 15, so you still have plenty of time to find someone you do have romantic feelings and eventually develop sexual feelings for. In that case you’d be a demisexual. If it doesn’t happen, you’d be an asexual. Whatever happens, you’d still be you and would still be winning at life.

What I’ve heard so many times, is that if you are questioning your sexuality, or at least some part of it, then there is a reason for that, and quite often you arent as allosexual, heterosexual or heteroromantic as you previously thought. But like I said you still have plenty of thime to work that out.

I’m glad that you have a supportive network around you, so when you do feel confident to come out with whatever your orientation is, those around you will still love and sccept you. And as far as what you think is the easiest thing to come out, well let me tell you a few things. Coming out, whatever it is, is hard. yes some may be more understtod that others, but it’s still hard. You’re still whatever sexuality you are, regardless of other people’s ignorance. If you identify as being asexual then you’re asexual and are part of the LGBTQ communuty and no one can tell you otherwise. If, after some more self-discovery and life experience you realise that it’s a label that no longer describes how you feel, then thats also fine. If other people disagree, then pity their prejudice and ignorance be damned.

On a final note: just because you are below the age of consent doesn’t mean that your orientation and feelings is any less valid. We don’t grow up with no sexual or romantic feelings, then wake up on our birthday when we can legally give consent, full of sexual and romantic feeling and knowing exactly what our orientation is. That’s not how things work. You can still be questioning and working it out before hand. And that’s OK!

I hope this helps Anon and that you find something that describes how you feel

What is asexuality: http://www.whatisasexuality.com/intro/

Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201710/s-so-aromantic

Seventeen: https://www.seventeen.com/love/a21999166/demisexual-meaning-definition-signs/

The Gay Uk https://www.thegayuk.com/big-gay-glossary-allosexual/

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brownandtrans · 7 years

Link

Coming out as non-binary:

8 Tips for Coming Out as Non-Binary

Explaining Genderqueer To Those Who Are Not

Coming Out as Genderqueer Non-Binary

Coming Out as NB- Forum replies

@comingoutasnonbinary

General coming out:

How to come out as transgender

A coming out workbook (PDF)

Coming out tips

Coming Out Resources

Coming out (PDF)

How to come out to family and friends

Coming out when you have anxiety

Should I hint at it?

DEARMAN

Good times to come out

Coming out on social media

Coming out letter template

Coming Out Letter tips

Coming out to parents:

How to come out to parents

How to come out as transgender to your parents

Coming out to parents as trans

Our “for parents” page to show them

What is the best age to come out?

Resources to show them:

Trans 101 / Trans 101 Youtube videos / More trans 101

Understanding Transgender: Why are people transgender?

Genderqueer/Nonbinary 101

What does dysphoria feel like?

Transgender FAQ

Things to not say to a trans person

Think you’ve got “trans” down, but still feel confused about “non-binary”?

What does transgender mean?

More on what being transgender means

Glossary of Terms - Transgender

Basic questions about trans people, answered

Tips for allies

What is intersex and is it the same as being trans?

List of recommended resources

List of offensive terms

Gender neutral titles

How to be a good ally to nonbinary people

10 myths about nonbinary people that it’s time to unlearn

Experiencing a common gender, experiencing a unique gender, and experiencing multiple genders

Why gender and sex are both social constructs

Learning how to be a better ally to trans people (video)

PFLAG’s guide to being a trans ally

A Letter to Parents Who Don’t Accept Their Gay and Transgender Children

Reasons why they/them pronouns are okay to use

So your child is non-binary

What Is Deadnaming?

What Does It Mean to Misgender Someone?

How to Be Human: Talking to People Who Are Transgender or Nonbinary

Send them our for parents page

If she doesn’t accept you:

Help, someone wasn’t supportive/won’t call my by my name/pronouns

How to deal with parents that are not accepting

Problem solving packet

Parents who won’t use name/pronouns

Interpersonal relationships

Transgender Advice: Dealing with Unsupportive Parents

Ally Moms

Rejected by your parents? You are not alone. (Leelah Alcorn suicide mention)

How to help someone who forgets your pronouns

Scientific evidence about gender/sexuality stuff

Followers, anything to add?

#Lee says #anonymous #coming out #queer #transgenderteensurvivalguide #trans #transgender

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dear-indies · 7 years

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I'm really nervous to send this but is there a master list or blog for understanding more of the sexuality and genders? I only know very little and I'm not sure who/what to trust and I'd like to expand my characters and my personal knowledge on the matter.

DISCLAIMER: some terms / interpretations differ between individuals! Of course please note this is NOT a comprehensive list - it’s a work in progress! Feel free to message us links / information / blogs you’d like to see added. I’ve asked several people to read over this but that still doesn’t mean there aren’t any mistakes - please instant message any you find!

PRO TIP: Remember, Google and Youtube are your friends! When we encounter an identity we’re not familiar with we read informative pages but also watch videos of individuals talking about their experiences.

Also we’ve mentioned this at the bottom but Queer Kid Stuff is aimed at children but the information is important and accurate nonetheless!

General masterlists and websites:

http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Wiki

https://heterosexualisnotadefault.tumblr.com/

Comprehensive* List of LGBTQ+ Vocabulary Definition

Vocabulary Extravaganza 3.0 by thesafezoneproject

Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Glossary of Terms by wearefamilycharleston

The ABC’s of LGBT by Ash Hardell

UMBRELLAS!

Queer - an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual and/or not cisgender.

Queer by Wikipedia

Being Queer Means… by huffingtonpost

What Does “Queer” Mean? by bustle

Gay - is a term that primarily refers to a homosexual person or the trait of being homosexual.

Non-binary - describes any gender identity which does not fit the male and female binary. Sometimes used to describe a catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine‍ identities which are thus outside the gender binary and cisnormativity.

GENDERS - yes, there are more than two!

Gender binary by wikipedia

Understanding Gender by genderspectrum

Every Sex & Gender Term Explained by Science Plus

Glossary of gender identities by telegraph

Every Gender (Part 1) by Ash Hardell

Sexual Orientations by identitiesandorientations

Romantic Orientationsby identitiesandorientations

The Gender Tag: Celebrating 600+ videos by Ashley Wylde

Gender FAQ ~ There’s more than two genders! by Jude Karda

Pronouns - a pronoun is a word that refers to either the people talking (I or you) or someone or something that is being talked about (like she, it, them, and this). Gender pronouns (he/she/they/ze etc.) specifically refer to people that you are talking about.

Pronouns by uwm

Pronouns by lgbtqia

List of pronouns by askanonbinary

All About PRONOUNS! by Ash Hardell

Cis - whose gender identity matches the sex that they were assigned at birth.

Cisgender by Wikipedia

Trans - whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.

What does “transgender” mean? by genderqueerid

T is for TRANS! - Transgenderby Queer Kid Stuff

Things Not To Say To A Trans Person by BBC

Transgender identities by wikipedia

Trans men:

https://www.youtube.com/user/SupraMan38

https://www.youtube.com/user/TheRealJazzBertie

https://www.youtube.com/user/partar400

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfp3V2aOd-kPT8RgbpMpc8w

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCynD_dwfoDrFXnh2Da79lLQ

https://www.youtube.com/user/k7puppy

https://www.youtube.com/user/uppercaseCHASE1

https://www.youtube.com/user/AmandasChronicles

Trans ladies:

https://www.youtube.com/user/TransDIYer

https://www.youtube.com/user/princessjoules

https://www.youtube.com/user/DiamondForever15

https://www.youtube.com/user/ThePrinceSane

https://www.youtube.com/user/GregoryGORGEOUS

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9GEEfMbXOXJV9SGsFN2_iQ

https://www.youtube.com/user/samproductions516

Trans multi-gender:

https://www.youtube.com/user/mykkiblanco

Trans non-binary:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1CzkMjUi_0oKWk7RxpZOPg

Non-binary by gender.wikia

Things Not To Say To A Non-Binary Person by BBC

http://nonbinaryresource.tumblr.com/

http://askanonbinary.tumblr.com/

http://thenonbinary.tumblr.com/

Youtubers:

https://www.youtube.com/user/RolyUnGashaaHD

https://www.youtube.com/user/realisticallysaying

https://www.youtube.com/user/MilesJaiProductions - gender non-conforming.

https://www.youtube.com/user/HeyThere005

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqy6OohW1TPOC_YXnt06GiA

https://www.youtube.com/user/AshleysWyldeLife

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1CzkMjUi_0oKWk7RxpZOPg - trans non-binary

Genderqueer - is an umbrella term with a similar meaning to non-binary. It can be used to describe any gender identities other than man and woman, thus outside of the gender binary.

What is “Genderqueer”? by genderqueerid

Genderqueer by gender.wikia

Demigender - is an umbrella term for nonbinary gender identities that have a partial connection to a certain gender. This includes the partly female identity demigirl, and the partly male identity demiboy. There are other partial genders using the “demi-” prefix for the same reasons. For example, deminonbinary, demifluid, demiflux, and so on.

Demigender by nonbinary.miraheze

Youtubers:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiHCBp1UsaOEN4CYOINL4Pw

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSoQXChg13AKuwbWp_R1gwA - also asexual!

Agender - is a term which can be literally translated as ‘without gender’.

Agender by gender.wikia

Youtubers:

https://www.youtube.com/user/xCaligoBastetx

https://www.youtube.com/user/shamir326

Greygender - a person who identifies as (at least partially) outside the gender binary and has a strong natural ambivalence about their gender identity or gender expression.

Greygender by gender.wikia

What is Greygender? by Ash Hardell

Gender-fluid - is a gender identity which refers to a gender which varies over time.

Gender Fluid by gender.wikia

What is Genderfluidity? by Seadresa

http://genderfluidity.tumblr.com/

http://genderfluidsupport.tumblr.com/

Youtubers / famous individuals:

https://www.youtube.com/user/Seadresa

https://www.youtube.com/user/officialrubyrose

https://www.youtube.com/user/TheRealAngelHaze

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/intersex-activist-hida-viloria-on-being-born-both-w472894 - intersex genderfluid - he/r!

http://www.refinery29.com/2015/10/95263/gender-fluid-model-seth-atwell-interview - genderfluid trans!

Intersex - Intersex people are born with sex characteristics that do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies.

Intersex by Wikipedia

What is Intersex? by ISnA

What It’s Like To Be Intersex by Boldly

What it Means to be Intersex with Emily Quinn by POPSUGAR

I is for INTERSEX! (ft. Claudia Astorino) by Queer Kid Stuff

Youtubers / famous individuals:

https://www.youtube.com/user/pidgejen

https://www.youtube.com/user/Emilord

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfOXuVmwNAx-GFxb0wMBzRw

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/intersex-activist-hida-viloria-on-being-born-both-w472894 - intersex genderfluid - he/r!

Two-Spirit - used by some indigenous North Americans to describe certain people in their communities who fulfill a traditional third-gender (or other gender-variant) role in their cultures.

Two-spirit by Wikipedia

Being Two Spirit: A Brief Explainer by Fusion

As They Are: Two-Spirit People in the Modern World by Indigenous Welnesss Research Institute

Youtubers:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKy-KyacyTRnpVyJSUnYSHQ

ORIENTATION & ATTRACTION:

Orientation by wiki.asexuality

Sexual vs Romantic Attraction + Cross Orientation by HeyoDamo

Lesbian - a female who experiences romantic love or sexual attraction to other females.

L is for Lesbian! by Queer Kid Stuff

Youtubers:

https://www.youtube.com/user/MaryLambertVEVO

https://www.youtube.com/user/GregoryGORGEOUS - trans!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADpVa1Vfqp0

Gay - a man who experiences romantic love or sexual attraction to other men, also used as a term that primarily refers to a homosexual person or the trait of being homosexual.

What Does GAY Mean?!? by Queer Kid Stuff

Youtubers - gay men:

https://www.youtube.com/user/TroyeSivan18

https://www.youtube.com/user/joeygraceffa

Youtubers - gay gender non-conforming!

https://www.youtube.com/user/MilesJaiProductions

Bisexual - is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior towards two biological sexes or genders, and may also encompass romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender, which is sometimes termed pansexuality or omnisexuality.

Bisexuality by Wikipedia

Bisexuality by sexuality, wikia

Youtubers:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoJQafFd9es78EhaqXl4WNA

https://www.youtube.com/user/TheRoxetera - Roseanne Spaughton

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU43ycQOMjUUNVEzyNJoPsw

Pansexual - romantic or sexual attraction to people regardless of sex or gender. Derived from the Greek prefix pan meaning “all”.

What Is Pansexuality? by stop-homophobia

Youtubers:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiHCBp1UsaOEN4CYOINL4Pw

Asexual - asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.

Masterlist by gayagendarph

Everything ASEXUAL and AROMANTIC (Part 1) by Ash Hardell

Ace And Aro People in Relationships!by Ash Hardell

Asexual Spectrum by identitiesandorientations

DIFFERENT TYPES OF ASEXUALITY | Greysexual / Demisexual by HeyoDamo

Youtubers:

https://www.youtube.com/user/McKaelinn

https://www.youtube.com/user/PICKLEandBANANA

Abrosexual - defined as a “fluent” sexuality in that that the sexuality is always/frequently changing, usually between the same sexualities.

Abrosexual by abrosexuality

VIDEOS

Ash Hardell‘s videos:

The ABC’s of LGBT

Everything ASEXUAL and AROMANTIC (Part 1)

Every Gender (Part 1)

Got Gender Queer-ies? (Part 2)

WHY I DRESS LIKE A BOY (an androgynous tale)

Androsexuality and other Orientations YOU haven’t heard of…

What are MTM and FTF???

What is Greygender?

Queer Kid Stuff’s videos - made for kids but nonetheless informative!

Learning Our LGBTs!

What Does GAY Mean?!?

What Does GAY Mean?!? Reboot

A is for ASEXUAL! (ft. Elisa Hansen)

L is for Lesbian!

I is for INTERSEX! (ft. Claudia Astorino)

HE, SHE, and THEY?!?

T is for TRANS! - Transgender

#writing tips #writing help #rph #lgbtqia+#masterlist #Anonymous #THIS GOT LONG !#IDK WHAT TO TAG THIS ASK ??

105 notes · View notes

transgenderteensurvivalguide · 7 years

Note

How to deal with a parent who forces gender roles onto a gender confused child??? I need reassurance help ugh I don't knwo what to do it bothers me and I 'm overwhelmed

Harper says:I don’t know specifics, so I’ll try and keep my advice wide-ranging. The first half of this assumes you are the child dealing with your own parent, and the second half will assume you know a child who’s parent is enforcing gender roles.

In this section I’m assuming you are the child mentioned in the ask, so hey there!

The first thing you should do is check out our resources on non-supportive people and parents at the end of this section, you’re more likely to find something that caters to your needs as I don’t know specifics.

Secondly, my advice is, if possible, to spend time in spaces where you are accepted and validated. This could be online or with friends irl. If possible, you may also want to spend time finding new friends or safe spaces in LGBT centres/LGBT orientated places. I know talking about shared experiences with friends can really help work through the stress, anger, and fears of having unaccepting parent(s). And even if you’re not talking about all that, just spending time with people who respect and understand you can do a lot for your mental health and ability to deal with parents. It can also provide a space to experiment with gender: to try on different clothes, pronouns, and so on, which is very important when you’re trying to figure things out and your parent is enforcing strict roles.

I would also advise, if at all possible and safe to do so, going to therapy and discussing these things. It can open up methods of dealing with frustrations, provide support, and open up channels and methods of talking with your parent about such issues.

It may come to the point of talking to parent about gender, to make them aware that what they are doing distresses you. During this conversation, it is good to be confident in and knowledgeable about what you’re talking about. This can calm your parent down and make them more receptive to what you’re telling them. In your case, being so confused about gender, it can be very unproductive to have these conversations, especially with high emotions about. I’d then say perhaps do some reading, find a way of expressing what gender is in a way that your parent will likely listen to. Our for parents/guardians page (linked below too) is a good place to start. I would also consider the possibility that if you do have this conversation, your parent may ask “what are you? / what do you identify as?” if you’re confused about this, you may want to try our what am I page?, but I’d also highlight that to say “I don’t know yet” or other negative definitions like “I’m not x, or y, or z” is also a perfectly valid response, even if that is difficult for your parent to accept at first.Lastly, I’ll signpost you to our various pages linked on our desktop theme. Hopefully there’ll be something there to help you cope, either with presentation, validation, mental health etc.. I also want to remind you that it can take a long time for parents to come round and understand and accept you, and it unfortunately, it may never happen. Be patient but stay safe.

Resources:

Transfeminine resources

Transmasculine resources

Non-binary resources

Dysphoria Page

Mental health

What am I?

What if someone is not supportive after I come out?

Help, someone wasn’t supportive/won’t call my by my name/pronouns

How to deal with parents that are not accepting

Problem solving packet

Parents who won’t use name/pronouns

Interpersonal relationships

Transgender Advice: Dealing with Unsupportive Parents

Ally Moms

Send them our for parents page

A Letter to Parents Who Don’t Accept Their Gay and Transgender Children

Rejected by your parents? You are not alone. (Leelah Alcorn suicide mention)

How to help someone who forgets your pronouns

Scientific evidence about gender/sexuality stuff

More resources for parents:

Trans 101 / Trans 101 Youtube videos / More trans 101

Understanding Transgender: Why are people transgender?

Genderqueer/Nonbinary 101

What does dysphoria feel like?

Transgender FAQ

Things to not say to a trans person

Think you’ve got “trans” down, but still feel confused about “non-binary”?

What does transgender mean?