#and it's CRAZY bc people who DO comment end up saying EXACTLY what i want to hear- like I wrote this and I wrote that for a reason.

[inchidentally]

ok so I haven't done an insane and pointless landoscar post in a while so !!

I blurted most of this to @mecachrome and needed to like ground myself abt it but like.

Lando allowing himself to oscillate between extremes of Taking Your Affection For Granted/Being an Absolute Menace and Please Look at Me/Please Tell Me I'm Important to You is smth we only see him do w very very specific people. he's got to feel very secure that their attention and patience w him go hand in hand. namely we know of Max F, Jon, some of Lando's karting friends, and now Oscar. with literally everyone else he makes an effort to soften or balance himself and fit their energy (which tbh is how most of us are w friends and colleagues). but Lando is not Just Anyone and Not Just Some Guy so there's a special extra sector of friendship and affection there to be achieved if someone has the desire to.

and somehow to me it's like, Lando realizing so early on that Oscar really really really knew him and then gradually realizing that Oscar was continuing to study and learn him, it basically jumped his feeling of safety around Oscar to a degree he normally only feels around ppl he's known for a very long time.

and that a peruse through these two tags it becomes clear that Lando feels secure in putting Oscar through the paces of Lando's least happy and amenable moods possible. bc !! Oscar just smiles through it and doesn't get offended and almost sort of pushes through it as if to say you're not going to annoy me away mate, I've decided we're friends and that's it.

bc it's a test he knows Lando does when he's decided you're a Safe Person. like in Bahrain and Lando jokingly goes ugh! hi Oscar! and IMMEDIATELY switches to Osc bc he's in a Mood about having to discuss Bahrain as if they possibly could've learned much about the car yet and there's nothing rly to discuss but he doesn't want to take it out on Oscar … and then ! Oscar sees the pout on Lando's face, ignores everyone else and does this lean in and starts teasing Lando abt the repetitive questions they're being asked ! and Lando ! breaks out into this big smile and his mood just lifts !! bc Oscar knows exactly what to do !

and somehow that's all tied into how insanely clingy they both were at the start of the season and Lando esp was going a bit crazy with posting and reposting and commenting on content with Oscar or him and Oscar and how he felt this need to explain to Oscar why he went to see Daniel and not him bc wowwww he rly missed Oscar and the way Oscar just watches him and laughs at all his jokes and doesn't ask Lando to Be Anything Other than Himself bc Oscar takes the good and the bad bc it's Lando! Oscar had folded Lando into his life long before they even knew they'd be teammates!

which parallels the end of season video in Abu Dhabi or the Saudi post race video 'Straya Mate' and Lando is about to jump out of his skin to get Oscar to look at him !! and in those moments Oscar is a combination of tired and rly not enjoying media but Lando canNOT HANDLE when Oscar isn't watching him and Oscar seems sort of fed up with cameras so he STARES at Oscar's face and wriggles around and builds up to jokes bc he just needs to see himself having that effect on Oscar! and Oscar never lets him squirm for long and caves in to any joke Lando makes no matter how bad. and all of that fits so much w the sort of "soft dom" moments where ultimately, Lando views Oscar as one of the few people in his life who will Take Care of Him and who Knows What Lando Needs. but also !! it's a return of what Oscar does for Lando!

bc we've all seen him be like this w Max F and Jon and how no matter what flavor of Lando gets thrown at them - sweet or sour - they know just how he works and would never ever betray that level of trust by getting bored or disinterested or fed up with him. Max definitely has the most ability to scold Lando to order but tbh that happens v rarely and mostly he just mutters to himself or the camera and totally folds to Lando anyway.

but the difference is that Lando has years of proof on his side w Max and Jon and the other ppl he feels like this with. Oscar however is still a New Friend and he's got this whole settled, grown up life outside racing and Lando's relying a whole lot on the degree of commitment to McLaren that Oscar has shown again and again. they have friends in common and a drift compatible bond as teammates but they don't broadcast their interactions like most drivers do w other drivers so who knows how much Oscar has integrated in Lando's life outside of that? and I can only imagine Lando does NOT cope well with losing people he's brought into that degree of trust even tho from what we know he's never had that happen. but Oscar is so self-contained and reserved about the deeper parts of his personality so all of us sure can't say exactly how he'd react to him or Lando going to another team and you wonder how much Lando does ??

and godddd then we got this little glimpse into their natural dynamic and I end up finding myself hoping especially for Lando's sake that their friendship keeps getting stronger over the years they both know they have for sure together bc it's feels v safe to say that Oscar being someone else's teammate and not being Right There throughout the season would not be good for Lando !! </3

*obligatory reminder that I write these posts purely for fun and no I do not hinge any of my happiness in life on two men in racey cars - bc some ppl cannot tell what fandom is for and think everyone's deadly serious

#landoscar #inchidentallyanessay

[caramellashton]

'this is like wanting your kid to get better by yelling at them and hitting them… you know it won't change/fix anything.'

EXACTLY I have been saying this for so long!! it's not gonna work and it's just gonna make everything worse. it's not a form of activism to just bully people until they conform to what you want; humans are autonomous people capable of choosing good, and like. we could be in the fandom of another band that doesn't even try, whose fans have given up on them and are just there for the music and the drama, but it's like the minute they do try to do something good they have to do activism a certain way and it almost becomes a kind of purity culture and purity culture is famously about control and not good for anyone.

but it's also people trying to be funny in the comments with thinly veiled frustrations that come out as insults about their appearance (which especially gets to me bc like. does body positivity stop if you're famous? or are they just idealised figures/bodies/personalities for us to look at and pretend our bodies don't change over time and we don't like it when they remind us that they actually do?) or their partners or how they express themselves. and it's the aura of entitlement that erodes their right to autonomy and individuality that gets me, not only because the way we get the creative music they make is them expressing that.

anyway i do think we as a fandom can do better and i want to attempt to start a conversation about that rather than trying to call people out in the comments. still thinking of how. there's a lot of people in the fandom who are struggling and exasperated with life and relate to their songs and the pressure has to come out somewhere; it ends up being in comments they feel like won't ever be seen except for by people who agree with them, at people who seem to far away and too big to ever see getting hurt by their comments. at least that's what I assume happens. but yes, they were bullying a cat

I agree with everything...

Was it always like this? It can't be because this is too much, none of the hate was on me and I couldn't take it, I wonder how the guys (or any celebrity) feels, being judged about the tiniest move you do, it's crazy I would totally lose my mind.

That's not how life is... yes I would love to be a fan of good people but if the gf/partner of the artist you're a fan of is bad and their friends are bad what does that make them? Maybe it's on you, maybe YOU should pick better idk 😭.

#like you don't have to like everyone around the guys they're not your friends. You don't know them. #maybe I'm the worst person to agree to this because yes i look up the ''drama'' or whatever and I'm nosy but i never thought for a second- #-that I can tell them what or who to hang out with... #because it's stupid. like here I am from across the planet and I'm gonna fix 5sos and their friend group yes totally not mental... #please 😭😭 #Also is it activism if you tell them how they should say it and do it? If they say something it's not enough- #-if they don't they're the worst to walk on this earth. If they apologize for a mistake it's not sincere and won't be accepted. #How will anyone change if you don't even let them? #this fandom can do better but will it ever try? Maybe when it's too late. #too late as in they stop interacting with us ever... and i wouldn't blame them.. #call me bald everyday i will write a paragraph about how you ain't shit. you WILL see me in fan wars lmao... ashton is better than me. #are the tags too much? im sorry i feel more comfortable here lol 😭 #ask #5sos

[anti-endo-haven]

just getting this off my chest and ended up a lot longer than I thought.

I think we have a shell program that failed or was only made for memories (looking "unstable" and having more overt alters was seen as a point against our believability, ig. made me look crazy). it especially sucks when people will literally explain said alter to me, but then tell me it can't possibly be that bc it's not a complete cover as if they know more about me than i do. and the same people can talk about incomplete/failed programs, but then as soon as you actually have one it's all "Noooo that's not what that is it covers ALLL" like oh my god make up your mind.

it extra sucks because I can't even fully deny it at this point. we have things that can only really be explained by programming, and things more knowledgeable survivors have told us takes a lot of knowledge to implement which is horrifying but besides the point. so having to literally explain "Yes, our shell alter doesn't cover all our alters. that was honestly probably the point" over and over to be treated like we have no clue what we're talking about WITH OUR OWN ABUSE AND MANIPULATED STRUCTURE drives me up the damn wall.

you mean? my perpetrators wanted people to not believe me and make me look unstable and delusional? what a concept!

in general I swear there's this odd complex where if programs are *exactly* the same suddenly all individuality, failed/incomplete programs, or even just general knowledge on why perpetrators do this in the first place goes out the window.

like they do realize perps don't have some joint guide on how to program, right? the programs we have are just common examples? it's not like an extensive exhaustive list of all programs and their presentations? abusers just do whatever gets them what they want? and sometimes that doesn't line up with your program lists perfectly? it's not the list that makes you programmed, it's the trauma you experienced and how it manifests? right?

there's so little information for us in general I honestly don't understand. people will SAY things but literally just contradict it constantly. like they'll say there's no one programming how to, but then act like there is and that there's one way programs exist. failed and incomplete programming exists until it actually does, then that'd not *actually* programming bc it doesn't do xyz. as if that's not literally what was just said. just. ugh.

man, this has been on my mind for so long sorry this was so long. I don't really have people who understand/can talk about this stuff.

Hey, don’t be sorry about it!

Honestly, I don’t see why other survivors need to say that it has to be a certain way. Not everything will be done the same. Yes, there can be similarities, but not always.

If you feel like you know yourself better, then do it. No one else can really “know you” more than you do and it all depends on what you tell them as well.

Like it’s absolutely okay to be wrong about having a shell or just not know. We don’t even know for our own ends if there’s a shell or not, but we know about our programs and how our structure is.

No one else can really comment about what you’ve gone through and experienced and it’s not something to gatekeep either. Not at you. But at the community that can get a bit overwhelming.

#anti endo #did system #system #osddid #endos dni #traumagenic system #actually did #endos not for you #actually traumagenic #did plural #did plurality #osdd plural #osdd plurality #ramcoa system #tw ramcoa mention #tw ramcoa #ramcoa #tw programming mention #programmed did #programming survivor #tw programming

[vintage-bentley]

final thoughts words opinions etc before the release in a few hours (so i have something to read before i go cold turkey on social media bc i wont be able to watch for at least 2 weeks and cannot ruin this for myself) GO:

Ahh good luck with going cold turkey! I’m sorry you have to wait 😭💕

I’m excited. At first I was really worried that this would be a classic case of the sequel being a shitty cash grab that shouldn’t exist…but from the clips we’ve seen, it looks good. So I trust that I’ll love it just as much as the first season, if not more because apparently it focuses even more on A/C.

As far as the elephant in the room goes…I really want to believe we aren’t being baited. The “leak” was directly from an Amazon pride promo, it feels weird for it to be included if it wasn’t actually romance. And the marketing is being so heavy-handed on the idea of romance, it would honestly be the stupidest corporate decision ever to do that if it was just bait. There’s also the Sheen “best buddies” comment which gives me a lot of hope, because it’s such an unusual way to put it that it feels like it’s an inside joke. And the recent reviews seem to be implying there’s romance. So, I’ve got my hopes up. As always, I’m staying cautiously optimistic, but on a scale from 0 (cautiously) to 10 (optimistic), I’m a 9.

I’m SUPER excited about there being lesbians. I’m worried about the fact that they’re written by a straight man…and I’m really hoping they’re treated normally and not either over or under sexualised. But I’m optimistic about this too, just because I love Nina so much from what we’ve seen of her. She seems well written and well acted, so I can only assume the same will go for Maggie, and hope that the same goes for their relationship.

Aside from ineffable husbands and The Lesbians (I’ve seen retro wives suggested as a ship name which is adorable), I think the thing I’m looking forward to most is more historical scenes. Season 1 episode 3’s opening is my favourite part of the series and I’ve watched it so many times, I just love seeing all the different costumes and seeing the husband’s relationship develop over time. I’m excited to see more of that. Especially the 40’s scene. I’m most excited about one particular historical scene that people talked about after the screening, I won’t say more than that, if you know you know, if you don’t you’ve probably purposefully avoided that information and I applaud your restraint lol.

Now, if the show ends up not being bait, I won’t hate Neil as much as I’ve grown to, but I still won’t love him. Because I think the way he’s handled concerns about baiting is incredibly insensitive and out of touch. He seems to think that this is the same as teasing a long awaited straight couple, so he can be as secretive and coy as he wants. This line of thinking completely ignores the fact that gaybaiting is a real problem, that viewers have been burned by before and don’t want to be burned by again. As great as it would be if gay couples could be anticipated and teased the same way straight couples are…we just aren’t there yet. We’re still at a point where LGB fans aren’t at ease watching a romance build up between two men or women, because we know there’s a chance it won’t go anywhere. Like I’ve said before, knowing that OFMD was a romance before going into it made the viewing experience much more pleasant for me than it would’ve been going in without that knowledge. Because knowing it was a romance allowed me to enjoy it as such…while not knowing would’ve had me going “I’m crazy, I’m just seeing what I want to see, that won’t happen” the whole time (and it sounds like that was the experience for many people who saw it before hearing about it from others!). That’s something OSA people don’t experience when seeing themselves on screen. So if there’s a whole crowd of LGB viewers basically begging you to save us that frustration and doubt, “wait and see if you’re being baited” isn’t exactly the best attitude to have. Especially when you’re on tumblr, and could easily put a yes or no answer under a read more prefaced with many spoiler warnings. Again, unfortunately, we just aren’t at the point yet where anticipating a gay ship is the same as anticipating a straight ship.

It just feels like Neil doesn’t have any compassion for his LGB viewers who don’t want to be baited yet again, which is really annoying considering he seems to think of himself as an amazing ally.

So, if it ends up being bait, obviously I’ll be angry. If it doesn’t end up being bait, I’ll be happy but also annoyed at how Neil made us feel crazy for even hoping for this outcome.

I think that pretty much sums up what’s going on in my head right now! 😄

#asks #anon

[bonesandthebees]

trying to put some thoughts together before new chapter (its just what I can get of the top of my head, but most stuff is always in my comments)

finally caught up with glass after summer, it took me quite a while bc im bad at reading emotional stuff, I read a bit, get overwhelmed with emotions, close it, go back, unintentionally skim read forward, get overwhelmed again, go back and try and read it properly, repeat many times lmao

it was so fun to read tho

with them actually having a plan now its easier to realise that the end is getting near, but it still feels like yesterday when glass started

overthrowing schlatt sounds exciting I the more I think about it the more and more scared I get

first off theres obviously the vision, which seems to be happening in the palace and to me is implying that wilbur was supposed to be with tommy and lost him in the chaos

which gets even worse when you factor in tommys curse

and they are very dependent on eret whose character has a reputation with traitors (im betting on them being "afraid" of visions and the fact it wont really gain then anything I can think of, but its always a possibility)

and than we got techno looking at the deathlings and taking that as a reassurment that they wont be kissing any royal asses is making me think if thats true

now in glass most of the deathlings are pretty anarchistic in nature or at least wont settle for not being outlawed anymore

but if you just took a group of outlaws who are trying to survive and had someone make them not illegal anymore there are definitely some that would just take the ability to live normally and not try to fight for anarchy anymore

also not being outlawed doesnt mean people wont discriminate anymore

and ofc as techno is saying theyre fighting government with another government, who knows what position theyll end up in

BUT, all of that doesnt feel like its actually still part of this story, bc this is still wilburs story, not the deathlings'

(not really affecting anything, but what if new people will want to join, thats a possibility, tho I have no idea how that would work)

now im not saying I think they shouldnt do anything (dont think thats even a possibility with the collapse the country is experiencing), closed in the temple and having to steal to survive, always hunted, thats barely living, but it just feels more safe, more familiar, easier (in reality thats me living in denial bc wilbur is safe from being forced into a role in there)

1/2

I don't blame you for falling behind lol glass got very intense the past few chapters and it's totally understandable to need a breather from that. there's a LOT of emotions going on in that fic

ikr it's crazy to me that we're already near the end of glass

yeah this whole invasion plan has a lot of things that can go wrong. the vision, the curse, eret, the deathlings being anarchists- what's it gonna be? something's gotta give lol

the deathlings would be in a very strange spot if the coup goes according to plan and death worship is legalized once again. what will they even be classified as then? because they're not just a religious group, they are an organized political activist (and terrorist) group at the same time and that's not exactly something they're just going to brush aside. but like you pointed out, thats the deathling's story, not wilbur's.

#ask #jiksvokrat #glass ch 25

[heymeowmao]

2022.07.25 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324795203553722419

LYN: Hallo everybody I am Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. Welcome~ C: I knew you would stream today. LYN: Now that you say that I regret coming. It’s like you’ve caught on to what I’m thinking- you’ve figured me out. I don’t want to stream anymore. Bye bye. I hope you had a relaxing and wonderful night. It was great to have you, though our time was short.  C: Bye bye. LYN: Wow, I was kidding, but you’re telling me “bye bye.” That’s a little cruel.

C: You’ve gotten even more handsome? LYN: I haven’t~ Don’t flatter me, you’ll give me a distorted sense of self. People shouldn’t grow under praise or they’ll have a distorted sense of self. See, generally all my fans will think I’m handsome, but if I start thinking that too and I go out one day and someone calls me ugly don’t you think I would have a mental breakdown? So people shouldn’t grow under praise, especially us young ones- even though I’m not that young anymore- but people should grow under more turbulence, and that will help you truly grow and mature. C: In that case you’re just okay looking. LYN: There’s no need for that, though...

- he’s pretty much recovered from his cold but still has lingering effects (snot) - ! sippy cup:

- changes the bg music at request, then decides to sing the song he ended up playing bc he likes it and wants to try it. -- 皇上吉祥

LYN: There could be people watching my stream for the first time today so I’ll stop there and be a little more normal, so people don’t think I’m crazy. If they think that it’ll affect my market value. Let’s act a little more normal today, because honestly weibo is a national- international, even- public facing platform.  C: Ning-ge, you got thinner? LYN: I did. I said so earlier, that things can’t go too smoothly for people, and they need turbulence to grow. I’m the type of person who needs some people to hate me. XD So before when my works came out and they said I was ugly, and how could a person like me act in a guzhuang-idol drama? Now I’m getting thinner in an attempt to cover some of the “ugly.” If I use some beauty products, that covers even more “ugly”s.  C: You care about what anti-s think? LYN: Not exactly, but I think they have a point, so if I could put in the effort to make myself look a little better then that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Right? I could raise my chances of gaining a main lead role, too. XD - talking about how he got hate comments to the effect that people wished he would hit by a car :o! LYN: I only acted in a drama as a villain, I don’t know what I did to deserve being cursed to get hit by a car!! How bad of an impression must I have given off? // But I’ve been making an effort to exercise and lose weight- not just by dieting- and it seems to be paying off because even Tao-jie and the Director think that my condition is much better now then when I entered the crew. It’s true but my situation is also made better by the fact that the previous drama (Heroes) has finished airing already. XD

C: Doesn’t staying up at night make you fat? LYN: The act of staying up itself doesn’t make you fat, but if you stay up at night AND eat a whole bunch of snacks, who wouldn’t get fat? If you stay up and do nothing you won’t get fat. But if you stay up AND eat midnight snacks you’re going to gain weight. Right?

C: When is YNGS going to fix the wardrobe?  LYN: ! Who told you I was going to be in YNGS? How do you all know about this? What gossip blog spread that info? It’s just a rumor. C: It’s been officially announced. LYN: OH. // If it’s already been announced then I don’t need to be here and keep it a secret. I'm not afraid of people cursing me out. When Heroes was airing I still came here to promote it, right? If you were chosen for a role it’s because the crew and production has faith in you, so you can’t hide because you’re afraid of the backlash. As my fans, you just need to be happy for me, for the fact that I am able to land a job and keep working. 

- Adjusting the sound settings, because he thought he was too loud, but he made the sound too small. LYN: See? I’m even afraid to speak too loudly, for fear of getting cursed at. Raises the sound volume back up, but now it’s too loud he’s annoying himself. XD

- 2/3 of the way through shooting his scenes with Tao-jie for Be Your Own Light; when they wrap the crew will move on to the other two main characters’ stories.  LYN: Modern dramas are a new experience for me and I thinks it’s fun and an opportunity to learn. Up until now I have only really been shooting guzhuang dramas, and there were things regarding performance that I didn’t understand before. Now after having some experience with acting in a modern drama I think I’ve learned some tricks. I really like to consider and figure out how these things work- I like to observe how other people act. What techniques and tricks do they use? What are their habits? Through observation I learn about acting and then later I can apply what I learned to my own acting.  LYN: I’ll tell you about something I discovered- it does not represent how I understand acting nor am I judging how others act. I discovered there’s a way to figure out if someone has forgotten their lines or if they are familiar enough with the lines they are saying. This is not exact, just something I felt while observing. ... /decides not to say how he can tell if someone forgot their lines or not/ LYN: Anyways, I’m really happy for this experience and I learned a lot from my fellow actors. Filming is going smoothly, and it’s been comfortable. 

C: How did you get the YNGS role? LYN: It didn’t really come to me in any strange way- It’s a Linmon production and someone came to ask me if I was interested. We talked for a long time and then later I signed the contract for it. It’s not what I choose, but rather who decides to choose me. Any role you see there will be multiple actors suited for it, and after a lot of deliberation to choose exactly who suits the role best, then the actors are contacted to see if they are interested. - filming starts around August 20th - has not met Liu Shishi yet, bc she’s been in Hengdian (while he is in Chengdu); but has done two script readings. The rest of the crew is currently getting together to do readings. LYN: I asked the production jiejie if Fang Yilun went to the reading, and she said he didn’t. I asked, “Why? Does Wei Shuyu think he’s too good for us?” XD LYN: I’ve worked with so many amazing actors, and have rarely worked with one twice. I’ve worked with Reba twice (CGX, ALZ) and now Fang Yilun (CGX, YNGS). Why don’t I feel happy about that, though?  LYN: Oh, right. It’s my second time working with Huang Mengying, too (Floating World, YNGS). I’m happy to work with her, of course! C: You forgot about ZSX? LYN: Oh, yeah. I’ve worked with him twice, too. /remembering more names of people he’ll have worked with twice/ No- how could I forget ZSX- of course I’m happy to work with him. It’s because originally we would have worked together thrice. After I confirmed the YNGS role, I was looking through the script and saw that there was a role that suit him  really well. So I asked him what he was up to, and if he had any plans later? Actually I started the conversation by asking him if he was open to acting supporting roles. ZSX said that as long as the script is good, he doesn’t mind playing supporting roles. So then I asked him if he was open to playing a supporting role TO ME. I played support for him twice, considering our friendship, shouldn’t he be fine with playing a support role for me at least once?! He didn’t reply to me, but asked which drama it was for. So I sent him the info, and he told me that my character really suit me. But he was also in talks with a lot of different projects at the time- he’s very popular!- and later he still didn’t respond to me, so I didn’t bring it up again. :p C: Then were you the one who recommended FYL too? LYN: I don’t have the right to cast actors, being a small actor myself. FYL got the role because he himself is a skillful actor and the production already had their eye on him. It had nothing to do with me. // Oh, wait. But if I say that I was the one who recommended him, can I pull a little commission out of him? Hm... why didn’t I think of that before. Here- pretend I never said anything, and when FYL is determined as part of the cast I can say that his casting was my doing. XD LYN: I just like working with friends because we have good chemistry and we can have fun on set, so if there’s a way for us to work together again I will try to open a path. It’s not that I can determine the casting for anything, I just send them the info and if they are interested and available, they will have to contact the production themselves. 

- Tao-jie gave him some calligraphy, which he has in his room but hasn’t got a frame for yet. When he gets a frame for it, he’ll hang it up in his streaming room. - He’s not “nervous” in the photo, he wanted to make it seem like those staged ceremonial-type photos, but it just didn’t come out looking right XD - He wasn’t wearing pajamas, either. LYN: You just don’t know fashion!

- someone pointed out something on his chest, tries to figure it out and scratches the scab off and made himself bleed - he got a scratch when filming, probably. LYN: Oh, it hurts! :|

- promoting The Truth C: Has the second season been confirmed yet? LYN: /sarcastic/ Yes, we’ll start filming tomorrow. /oops/ I’m sorry- that was a pure rumor. I don’t want to be the one creating the rumors just to gain some fame. I shouldn’t have said that.

C: How do you get along with Zhou Shen? LYN: What do you mean? When someone asks this question there’s two different ways it can go. You’re either trying to make trouble or pretending to be innocent. What am I supposed to say? “Oh, Zhou Shen and I don’t get along.” No way. We get along very well, I really like him. When he’s with me I don’t feel that I am very timid, comparatively. If I were the one that were the most afraid it would.. be a little shameful. But we make good partners.  - complimenting ZS & GQL as interesting, humorous, and intelligent individuals. ZKY is also very smart, and they’ve gone out to play a similar escape-room type game in private before. (w/ YCY, ZSX, and some INTO1 members)

C: Do you still keep in contact with the Reasoning Team members? LYN: Why do I feel like you’re trying to dig me into a pit? Is this a sensitive question or am I overthinking it? Eh... um... /barks/  C: They don’t keep in contact. Each has their own work. LYN: It’s like this... em... we are in contact, more or less. We have group chats and on the days the show airs we chat with each other but other than that... we don’t really. We each have our own business to attend to. Who has the time to just keep chatting all the time? 

LYN: I don’t know about them, but I had a lot of fun when filming. It was a very casual thing and no one was trying to keep up any pretenses, so I think the filming process was comfortable.  LYN: There are only a few episodes left. I’m really jealous that a lot of people haven’t watched the show yet (bc there are people saying they haven’t even watched one ep); jealous of the pair of eyes and brain that has not seen this show called The Truth. It’s such a good show just waiting for you to experience it. A lot of us who have already seen it won’t get the same surprise and freshness from re-watching as someone who is seeing it for the first time. So I’m jealous of the people who haven’t seen it and I think you should watch. I wish I could remove my memories of having watched it from my mind so I can experience it for the first time again.  C: I haven’t watched it. LYN: I’m jealous. You can start from episode one and experience the happiness and surprise and thrill of it. C: It needs a membership though. LYN: Well.. that’s up to personal preference. If you’re the type who can’t go a day without a milk tea and a snack then I don’t think you should be complaining about having to pay for a membership.... - reiterates his stance on paid memberships: he is willing to pay for content. LYN: I think it’s fine to pay a couple bucks for something you enjoy, as long as it doesn’t affect how you live the rest of your life.

C: Is Liu Xialai a good guy or a bad guy? LYN: If you’re going to ask such a question then I have no choice but to get philosophical. There’s no such thing as a completely good or a completely bad person. If you’re talking about the Reasoning Team, none of us are “good people” and each of us has done something that can be considered morally “bad”. I’m talking about the Reasoning Team, not society in general. Is Liu Xialai a good person? Let’s wait and find out. :) - discussing ethics & morals, with a situational example. 

C: When is Tao-jie going to stream? LYN: What are you asking me for? Go to her weibo and leave her a message. Did you want me to ask her FOR you or what??

C: Show us your cup. LYN: I’m not trying to sell you any products, here. I just use what I like and then I discover that you all go out and buy it en mass. That makes me seem a little foolish. /shows the cup anyway/

C: Are there a lot of fight scenes in YNGS? LYN: Let me think about whether I can say or not... There... aren’t a little. If you ask me if there are “a lot” I can only tell you there is not “a little”. C: That means there are a lot, then? LYN: Here’s the thing about Chinese language, it’s the same words but depending on HOW you say something it changes the meaning completely. As for how many fight scenes there are, you can wait and see.  C: What about in comparison to Zuo Bufan (LYN’s character in Floating World)? LYN: There aren’t the same number of scenes, so you can’t really compare the two. In terms of ratio, ZBF has a greater ratio of fight scenes : normal scenes. C: Who’s Zuo Bufan? LYN: You must not be my fan- the drama I finished up the other month- that role was for Zuo Bufan. C: Who has better martial arts skills then? LYN: They’re not of the same genre. It’s like putting a soccer player and a basketball player against each other and asking who plays ball better.  C: Then what about foundation? LYN: Are we starting to decide whether to take a role or not depending on what number of foundation they’re going to use on me?? He’s just a normal person, I guess. As long as it’s not shade No.13, I’m fine with anything. // ZBF’s Foundation of Shade No. 13 has left me with a great impression. Very few crews use a shade that dark. I went on a drama to cameo as a soldier and even THAT role didn’t need such dark foundation. 

- has no clue when ALZ or Zichuan will air.; BYOL will probably air sooner than those two. - people are asking for what counts as spoilers for YNGS, so he says that his character gets snatched away by aliens. someone comments: “Yi Nian Guan Qi”, bc Guan Qi (Heroes) was the one to get nabbed by aliens in the source novel. XD proceeds to make stuff up about YNGS. - makes a disclaimer that their current nonsense speculating about YNGS is not a judgement of the novel or script, but just a joking discussion between a streamer and his viewers.

C: You should stand with your back straight when shooting a guzhuang. LYN: I know, but this is my personal problem. I’m just too tall. Normal people are around 170cm, so to me they come up to here (chin). So if I talk to them normally- forget it, I won’t explain. I will do my best to straighten my back and make adjustments elsewhere to give you a satisfactory response. Thank you for your support. LYN: It’s not like a character is all about appearances, it’s about the delivery as well- you have to understand that you’re a human person. If there were a scene between a father and yourself, and you are a prince or whoever- the point is this is an interaction between you and your father. You are 180cm and your father is 165cm. Are you going to talk to him like this? /looking down on his father, with a straight back/ They’re gonna chop your head off! You’re definitely going to talk to him like this /looking up at his father, from a lower stance/ You can’t think only about looking cool for the role, you have to remember the relationship between people as well.

- working on some beauty/makeup collabs, so hold on to your money until then LYN: It’s like you have too much money and can’t wait to spend it somewhere. Don’t rush. There will be an opportunity for you to spend it. Save it. C: I can’t wait I want to spend it now. LYN: Your attitude is really giving me face. If there are any brand CEOs looking in on me right now and they see that my stream is filled with people with money to spend, don’t you think they’d be more than happy to look to collab with LYN? :D C: We’re all “rich women”. (富婆 - fu po) LYN: How could you call them “fu po”, that makes them sound really old. Are you trying to say my fans are old?? You have to call them “xiao fu po” (little rich women). XD - viewers calling themselves “rich young ladies” and “young missus” LYN: ?! Aren’t you the ones who said you couldn’t afford a subscription membership?? Now you’re here with money to spend on expensive beauty products??? C: Ning-ge, you just don’t understand. This area is where women focus their spending. LYN: It’s true. I don’t understand. I also hope what you are saying is real. [t/n: so they can put their money where their mouth is :p] - can’t reveal which brand he is working with, but says we will find out LYN: You won’t think of it. Why? Because /I/ didn’t even know I’d have a chance to collab with them! It’s not something I would have ever thought of, so why would you have??

-- bathroom break #1 (Tactic #1) LYN: I’m back! I saw someone say, “Ning-ge didn’t go to change clothes, did he?” What do you think this is, a concert??? That’s asking too much of me. C: Tell us why your neighbors were fighting. LYN: See? I knew it- everyone loves to see a fight. It’s fine, they’re watching a movie and the volume was too high- two robots were fighting. I already warned them that they were being too noisy, and to keep it down.

C: Are we spending the new year? LYN: You’re asking if I’ll stream past 12a? /clicks his tongue/ You think I’m afraid of you? I’ve never been afraid in my thirty + years of life. When it comes to staying up at night let’s see who’s afraid of who. But no, there’s no need for that. Because today is Monday and a lot of people still have work or school tomorrow, so let’s not stay up too late.  - been doing some research because of his exercise routine, and tells young people they need to get enough sleep because that’s when their bodies are growing.  C: I’m a college kid. LYN: Of course you need your rest, because- this might sound cruel- but college kids need to study hard because... you’re about to enter society. Once you enter the workforce there will be a lot of time where you WANT to sleep but can’t. Looking for a job and thinking about your future is something that makes you lose sleep. You’ll get busy because this is the prime time of your life to put in all your efforts and you’ll have even less of a chance of getting good sleep. So I want to tell you to get a good night’s rest while you still can. - says it’s fate that there are so many people in the world, but that they were able to meet (in his stream), so he wants to tell people the secret to growing tall: /tells his whole childhood story of getting bullied in school and wanting revenge, so he went up the mountain to find a master to teach him martial arts/ tldr: he stretched and gained enough flexibility while going through puberty so his bones had room to grow. LYN: There may be no actual science behind this, but ever since I started to train my flexibility I started growing taller at an alarming rate. So if you have kids you can let them learn how to do leg stretches to become more flexible. 

C: What can I do to be more flexible? LYN: Look it up online. Ask weibo- weibo will tell you the answer. Information really isn’t like how it was before- everything is so available, all you have to do is look it up online. I learned how to ride a horse by spending three hours watching online tutorials. Anything you want to learn, as long as you put in the effort and your passion, you will be able to learn. C: You learned how to ride a horse by watching online videos? LYN: Well- I learned the basics. Like HOW to ride a horse, and where to use strength. C: Was it helpful at all, though? LYN: That’s why I got kicked by a horse the first time. From another angle- what you see in books is helpful, but isn’t everything. You still need first-hand experience. The stuff you learn online is helpful, but not by much.

- before he was an artist and actor- before he even became viral he wanted to be a voice actor. There was a type of video where people recite lines to manhua stills (like a visual/audio-book). LYN: I thought it was so cool! This was before I became an artist, and I wanted to learn. - he chose a guy whose voice sounded the best, who could do lots of different types of voices and started sending him messages, asking if he was looking for an apprentice. the guy never responded until lyn said he would pay him. :p they got to talking and the guy said that lyn’s voice was suited for the “young uncle sound” (aka a middle aged man’s voice). - to start, he needed to have a good grasp of Standard Mandarin, so he got sent a bunch of tongue-twisters to practice with and master. /demonstrates the one saying that he’d never encountered prior to learning voice acting/ - in the end he really didn’t learn anything from the guy other than a bunch of tongue-twisters LYN: At the time I thought I was quite foolish, but thinking back on it now I think I made a prominent decision at that point in my life. The money I spent for those classes was worth it, because sometimes when I’m filming and the actors are from all over, I will hear them discussing this same tongue twister for learning standard pronunciation. Sometimes I ask them, “Can you recite the whole thing?” First off, it’s a common topic of conversation and secondly I can use this as a way to test them while at the same time making them believe that I CAN recite the whole thing. / Maybe it will give them impression that I came prepared, and haven’t just jumped into acting from singing blindly. They’ll have to reconsider having thought  too little of me to start. C: You’ll get caught pretending. LYN: No, they’ll know that even if I’m not a professional actor, I still did my homework.

C: Can you change the song? LYN: /gets offended/ Society is the martial arts world, and the martial arts world isn’t about fighting and killing, it’s about the relationships you make. Have you forgotten whose song this is? This is Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning’s song, how could you ask me to change it??? Have you forgotten who the King of this stream is?? You want me to change MY OWN song, it makes it seem like you don’t like my music. :( But as an artist of someone in any other industry, we are all about the customer service, so I’ll change it for you.

LYN: Let me see what other songs Modern Brothers has, so I can play it for you. /plays Rang Jiu, shows the top ranking of songs - Tian Wen is on top/ LYN: Listen to this voice. Do you think you can hear the “young uncle sound” from it? At the time no matter what song I sang, there was no way people were going to connect my voice with my face. They all probably figured that an older uncle sang this song.

C: I never would have thought you’re a Northeasterner. LYN: This is... this is a specialty. I usually speak my hometown dialect when I’m streaming. This goes to prove that my 4000RMB spent on lessons learning how to speak Standard Mandarin were well worth it. Who else is going to PAY to learn the Standard dialect?!

C: You don’t use Standard when shooting variety shows. LYN: Yeah, it’s a variety show, so why should I? Especially if I’m supposed to be relaxed and speaking casually. If I go to a music show, it’s not like I could use my dialect to sing, though.  - 让酒 (Dongbei ver.), proceeds to sing normally C: It sounded okay, though (the Dongbei ver)? LYN: Let’s not. This is an iconic song in many people’s eyes, so let’s not ruin it. C: But you’re the original singer, so it’s okay. LYN: Even so, I don’t want to ruin the song that brought me to fame with my own two hands. For a young singer, having a song to be known for is already a lot to ask for. We have no other requests other that the song do well. And you want me to ruin it myself. LYN: You know, every year i sing a batch of OSTs... and every time I try to predict which song will become popular. This year I bet on this song (Ling Yun Ji)- I thought this song would definitely make it. But... it didn’t. (about Unparalleled) This song, I liked very much. I always only agree to sing the songs I like, but there are a few that I like very much. This was one of them. I thought this would be popular, because this one suits me SO much. -- 无双 C: This song was popular! LYN: Yes, but it didn’t do as well as I predicted. So in the future I need to remember to treat everything fairly. - doesn’t differentiate between a “little” popular and “a lot” popular- it’s either hot or not. >.< LYN: 黑夜一束光 is really hot, though! :) I need to thank The Truth for this. Who would have thought that my song would have become one of the clues? - [t/n: This song has since been upgraded to The Truth’s representative OST; everyone sings it at even the slightest mention of a “dark night” LOL] C: Sing it. LYN: Em.. yeah, I can. You can listen to this song when you’re in a bit of a down mood or when you wake up in the morning. I promise it will give you the strength to face the day. Trust me. If you don’t believe me you can try it out. -- 黑夜一束光 -- 熬夜 (laughs bc he doesn’t remember the lyrics to his own song)

- skipping the lesson for the Vietnamese song today

C: I’ve really started liking an angel. LYN: H- Hold on, there’s no need for that. Let’s not let chasing stars blind us to reality. You can’t do this- don’t let your own likes cloud your judgement.  C: I’ve started liking a treasure. LYN: You CAN say that. But I really don’t deserve the title of “angel”. We like to put customer service first and here the customer is “heaven”, so if I serve heaven.... I’d be an angel. It seems like it works out. Hah!  - remembers there’s a song called 天使 and wants to sing it, for entertainment -- 天使

-- bathroom break #2 (Tactic #2)

- comes back with a different outfit (2:43:55) - Cabbage C: The red looked better. LYN: How can you be so PICKY?! Do you know how to be a human? You must not have a lot of friends. Say your colleague just bought new clothes and wanted to show it off to you, and you say, “It doesn’t look as good as what you wore yesterday.” Do you think you can keep working in that company?? No matter what you think, in order to maintain good relations you can say what someone else just mentioned, which is: “Whether this one or the other outfit, both are good!” C: “Each has their own charms.” LYN: Yes! See, this is the beauty of language. Sometimes you shouldn’t be too honest. A kind lie can bring others happiness. Let’s say someone wore. a new outfit to work, and you see them in the morning and say, “You look so nice! Where did you get your clothes? I really like them.” Then your co-worker will be in a good mood all day, because they think they are dressed very prettily because you complimented them. They will spend their whole day happily.

C: Ning-ge, this clothes make you look like a wawa cabbage (napa cabbage). LYN: 去你的!! What, cabbage??? This was really expensive!! What do you mean, cabbage?? D: /starts laughing/ The more you say it, the more I think I look it! I want to eat hotpot now, LOL. LYN: ... I really do look like a cabbage. Even I think so. That’s it- a new shirt, ruined. I’ll never wear it again. Now I want some glass noodles. Hold on, I’m going to go change again

LYN: I’m back, friends. I really haven’t got it easy. - ~~You Are My Destiny~~ (2:50:16) - Blueberry? C: Aren’t you hot, though? LYN: I’m hot. This is new- called a high necked wool sweater. Why do I have it? Because I’ve been shooting a modern drama and I was wondering if I could pull off a “Korean Oppa” style look. I looked up “outfits for korean oppa” and it suggested me these turtleneck sweaters. I don’t know what came over me, but I bought one... and now Chengdu is 40°C. What can I do- I can’t wear it. I’ll have to wait for a Winter Sonata or something like that before I can wear this again. C: Wearing a turtleneck in the summer? LYN: This is reverse psychology. If you buy summer clothes in winter it’s going to be cheaper. Likewise, if you buy winter clothes in summer they’ll be cheaper. C: I’m hot just looking at you. LYN: What do you mean? You don’t like the “warm guy” style? LYN: Ok, I’ll change back to the red one. I’m sorry- I don’t have that many clothes.

LYN: Alright, I found a random t-shirt. - realized the tag is still on it, rips it off LYN: I feel like a wardrobe streamer- to tell you what clothes are good to wear in what season. If you do it wrong, you’re likely to make yourself look like a cabbage. C: If you take the tag off it’s harder to return. LYN: /laughs/ I buy my clothes, I don’t rent them.

Q&A: - his cold is much better now, thank you. he can take care of himself. - does covid testing everyday, as mandated by the production crew - there is no way to “keep” him, go ask someone else

- someone asks when he’s going to play a male lead role and he gets offended, bc obv this person (as an interviewer) has not done their homework XD LYN: There were productions before that looked for me to play the male lead, but I never accepted the roles, because at the time I knew I wasn’t good enough. I am accepting lead roles now- not because I think I’m good enough- but if I don’t try one now probably won’t get the chance to later on. I’m already thirty... would I still be acting in guzhuang-idol dramas when I’m fifty?? It’s hard. It’s possible, but with my ability, it might be difficult. So I’m going to try it out while I’m still young. 

C: Anyone you wish to work with? LYN: At this moment I want to work with this actress I really like- her name is Liu Tao. There’s another called Liu Shishi, who I really want to work with... I hope someday I get the chance to work with them. That would be a dream come true for me. Let’s anticipate that day together. - LYN-Anti mode activated: What makes LYN worthy of working with such great actresses? Bah! I don’t believe the day will ever come where he gets to work with them.

C: Do you know what drama you’ll be doing after YNGS? LYN: Do you think I am unrivaled in this industry?? I am still filming my current one, have not even started on YNGS, and you’re already thinking of what come AFTER??? How popular do you think I am? LYN: No matter what comes after, I will focus on the task in front of me. If you do well with what you have now, opportunity will come to you later. Let’s not rush.

C: How come all the people you want to work with are all named “Liu”? LYN: It’s just fate. Maybe 500 years ago we were all of the same family.  LYN: Is there anyone here with the last name “Liu”? We’re all family. C: Then you mean to say that people watching your stream who are named “Li” are not your family? “Wu” and “Zhao” aren’t your family, either? Only “Liu”? LYN: That’s not what I meant! I- er... em... um... We’re ALL family. There’s a song that does like this: “We all have a home, that home is called “China”” /continues with the rest of the lyrics/

- does not really have time for variety shows, since he’ll be shooting for a male lead role next. - musicals have looked for him, but he doesn’t feel he is prepared or has enough experience, so for now he will stick to singing and acting separately. additionally, for a musical you have to set aside a considerable amount of time for rehearsals and the performances themselves, and he doesn’t feel he has the time to accommodate

C: What are your thoughts about working with Fang Yilun for the second time? LYN: I am apathetic. Anyone else would be better than him. No feelings for him whatsoever. I just hope he does his best. Jiayou. LYN: I don’t like to hear him talk, so if he has any lines in the script I’ll tell him, “Shut up!” If he has a scene with me that will be my only reply to him. I guarantee he will be able to finish up early for the day. C: Then how come I’ve heard people say that when asked about LYN, Fang Yilun will say that Ning-ge is tall and handsome? But from your perspective you have no feelings for him. There seems to be a disconnect. LYN: I mean... objectively, he’s not wrong. It’s the truth, and I feel like there aren’t many people who will tell the truth in this industry anymore. Based on this statement you can tell that Fang Yilun is not someone who acts under and false pretenses. He’s very honest. Based on this alone, I can now say that this man has a good character. I said I was apathetic towards him earlier because I’m truly not that close to him; but because he has praised LYN and we now have this common interest, it’s a great opportunity to become closer. Two people become friends because they have something in common to talk about. Next time I see him on set, I’ll talk to him about LYN. I’ll try making friends with him, and we’ll see if we can turn my apathy into affection. Give me a chance and we’ll see if while filming and getting to know each other through this common topic, we can become good friends. LYN: As long as he says “LYN is handsome” and “LYN is tall” I will never tell him to shut up. I’ll say, “Tell me more.” XD

C: When are you going to stream next? LYN: I’ll try to stream once a week. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo, please do so. My stream is very simple, and you all know that I don’t come here to sell you anything. I’m just here to chat with my fans. I share about my daily work life and comment on my friend���s characters... /looks straight into the camera/ ... and also some fun stories. It’s very light, and I hope that when you’re watching you don’t have any pressure. Please watch with a grain of salt, though because if you really believe the majority of what I’m saying then we’re no longer having fun. Please don’t think I was actively hating on FYL for real. When I make jokes about someone I know it’s because they can take a joke, but there is still a bottom line. Just remember that we’re joking and having fun.  C: Are you closing up the stream now? LYN: You wish. 

LYN: I met someone once, who can’t be considered my fan because they like to listen to ZHang Bichen’s songs. I don’t know how it happened but they recognized me, and asked if I was LYN? I said I was, and they told me they liked my songs and watching my streams. They told me that there was a period of time they were feeling really pressured and down, but watched my streams and found it healing. In that moment I thought that suddenly my streaming had a meaning. Not only can I entertain people, but maybe for some who are lonely... they’ll watch my stream and feel relaxed enough to let go of some difficult things. I think that’s my honor. So, as long as I am still alive, I will continue to stream.

- because of the bgm, someone mentioned his line from Heroes, so he recites it: When I reach the peak of the martial arts world, I’ll break down this wall for you. C: Now a line from Hao Du. LYN: Are you here to test me now?? When an artist streams you’re going to test them on their lines? C: Hei Ye. LYN: I didn’t do the voice acting for that role myself. I’m very thankful for that voice actor for doing such a good job. I really wasn’t any good at voice acting back then- of course, I’m not very goof right now, either. But back then I didn’t even know how to ACT, so his voice acting helped the character a lot. It was after that, with CGX that I started doing my own voice acting, and I’ll continue to do my own when I can. So that the role/character is completely mine- in face and voice. C: Luo Mingxi. LYN: Whether Luo Mingxi, Hao Du, or Bai Choufei... even Di Lin- of course there will be differences in tone of voice, but not by much because it’s still me doing their voices. Different roles will have different circumstances, status, and personality and all of this will change how they speak and sound. I’m really not thinking too much about it either, though. For Di Lin, I made him more stable, with a sense of prestige. Because he is a very powerful person, so when he speaks to people it is with a bit of command. But when he goes home and talks to his wife you’ll find that he turns into a different person. /demonstrates with voice effects, lmao/ - people were asking if Di Lin has a CP. He starts off with a wife, and later they have a kid. The CP is already set. C: What a strange name. LYN: It’s not strange. You have to RESPECT THE SOURCE!

C: What’s the male lead’s name in YNGS? LYN: I can’t reveal that. It has nothing to do with this case. Let’s move on. I don’t wish to say. C: /people guessing/ LYN: No, It’s not that I don’t know the name, but because there will be a final version of the name, and I don’t know what it will be yet. Do you know what the female lead’s name is? C: Guan Shan. LYN: LOL. Her name is “Guan Shan” and I will be “Yi Nian”? Don’t spout nonsense. Have they released the names yet? I don’t know. // His name’s not “Guan Qi”! Stop randomly guessing! >.< // If we’re going by ranking, then HER name should be “Yi Nian” since she comes first, and then my name would be “Guan Shan”. It’s two different cases here. LYN: My name is 关门 (Guan Men = Close Door) [vs. 关山 (Guan Shan = Close Mountain)] C: Why aren’t you called 关灯 (Guan Deng = Turn off the lights) LYN: /laughs/ Can we let this joke pass now? You’ll make the production crew feel like I’m joking around with the drama name! Can we get a little more serious?? We have to respect the name: Yi Nian Guan Shan. How beautiful. - still ends up joking about the character name :p - laughs at the ridiculous names people are suggesting, starts putting together a plot with oddly named leads LYN: You think there’ll be production company out there who will pay money for you to treat their script like a child’s game?? 

C: My mom told me to get out if I want to laugh. LYN: Then laugh and get at the same time.

- song association with whatever answer pops into his mind with a question asked:: C: How did you get the YNGS job? LYN: [Andy Lau’s - 天意 (Heaven’s Will)] (everything is heaven’s will, everything is fate, there is no escape) & [Li Jian -  假如爱有天意 (If Love Has Providence)] LYN: It was just fate. Someone was willing to give me a chance so I took it. It wasn’t that complicated.

C: Is there any role you want to try in the future? LYN: I know there are a lot of my fans who want me to play a domineering CEO or a pervert. I guess I don’t look like a very nice person. They want me to play a beggar... murderer... crazy killer... All roles are okay, but I’d really like to play an undercover so I can catch bad guys. I really want to try something like that... C: Undercover.. but you’re so tall... LYN: What does that have to do with height?!

- can’t dance and doesn’t plan on learning seriously because “people need to have something they’re bad at, they can’t be perfect.”

- will release new songs, eventually, but he’s not in a rush. maybe when he gets to hold his concert? he’s still missing a few satisfactory songs for his second album. LYN: As a singer and someone who just likes art in general, you want to try and do something different from others, you know? You want to be different from others but the problem is everything you think of is what others are thinking! If you really try to do something DIFFERENT then it might turn out sounding terribly. There are two choices here: sound good but just like everyone else or sound bad but in a unique way.  C: Will you collab with Zhou Shen? LYN: I don’t have any plans on it, but it’s not impossible. It’s actually quite easy for artists who are friends to release something together. For example, if I message him right now and ask if he wants to collab I am 90% certain he won’t reject me. It’s not difficult to release a song together, but we have to be clear on for what purpose we’re releasing a song. Just because someone online told us to? That seems a little meaningless... But for example if we’re on the same variety show and we use it as a starting point, to release a song FOR the show, that’s okay. We don’t want to just sit around and release a song for nothing, there has to be some thought behind it. C: Maybe if you work with someone else you’ll create a different kind of impact. LYN: I don’t know about other people, but I am not a creative- a singer-songwriter. So no matter how I work with someone, I don’t think there will be any “impact.” I can only say that we released a nice song. There are no “sparks”, it’s just two people singing a song together.  C: Then collab on an OST. LYN: If those words came out of my mouth I would look like a fool. I’m WILLING to duet with him on an OST, and I’m sure he would also be willing. But the problem is you have to ask if the PRODUCTION is willing. Why? Because if we get together to sing one song, then that means they’ll have to pay for two people’s worth, for a single song. Why wouldn’t they take that money and pay two people for TWO songs (one each) instead? Do you get where I’m coming from?Just because we sing the same song doesn’t mean they pay us each half. LYN: Before, with No Extravagance that I sung with Jane Zhang... that just goes to show that the Legend of Fei production... (had a lot of money)... are very moved by music. :) It’s a really nice song, and regretful we never got to sing it live. Maybe one day we can make it happen.

- YNGS costuming is currently in the process of being made, they will ship pieces to Chengdu for fitting and then ship them back to Hengdian.

C: What can one do to gain Liu-ge’s attention... LYN: You have it, now what do you want with it? 

C: Ning-ge, the pillows on the couch behind you moved. LYN: What do you mean? These moved? You must be watching The Truth and think that I am very easily scared, so you’re trying to scare me, is that it? Here’s the thing- I’m afraid of THE DARK. If it moved, I wouldn’t be afraid. It’s just that I don’t like the dark. If the lights were OFF and then the pillow moved, I’d be scared. As long as there’s light... BCF: I thought I would never lose my way, as long as that light was there. I thought I could be a good person! LYN: ... I could be a normal person!

C: I saw you were streaming and I ditched my friend. LYN: Where did you ditch them?! Were you in a car, saw that I was streaming and then told them to get off and left them on the side of the road?? Or did you have some plans together but you didn’t go, so they had to go alone?

- has a product thing to shoot tomorrow (no drama filming), so he’s not in a rush to sleep

- planning his third bathroom break, but he’s used Tactics 1 and 2 already, so he needs a new excuse. polls the crowd for something that would make a good excuse to leave the room (but nothing life-threatening!) C: Someone’s at the door. LYN: That’s too similar to “the neighbors are fighting”. C: Your takeout has arrived. LYN: Alright, let’s try it to see if it works as well. // No, sorry- this tactic doesn’t work, because I’ll get my staff to grab the takeout. It’s not me going to pick it up myself. LYN: !! How could you be cursing me, saying “Your car’s been towed” and “Daimi is lost”?! I need something that doesn’t harm my sensitive heart but also gives me an excuse to leave. Maybe there isn’t.  C: Aliens have arrived. LYN: That’s too strange! I’d be a fool to say that. C: The Director is looking to discuss some things with you. LYN: It’s the middle of the night, what’s the director looking for me for?? LYN: Ah forget it, I won’t find excuses anymore. I really need to go... but I won’t be back in time. Let me just play it for you, and you can celebrate on your own first. - /decides to wait anyway but doesn’t have the patience to stall for enough time, so suggests a 30s staring contest/

-- happy new year (it’s 12a) -- bathroom break #3 (no tactics, he just needs to go)

- /starts up his late night radio host mode/ - /couldn’t stand the ~gentle~ so changed the music to rock instead/

C: Ning-ge, I want to hear 水牛记 (Water Buffalo Records). LYN: ?_? What is that? Isn’t the song called 水星记 (Mercury Records)? Water Buffalo... is it a story about a buffalo? A song about nature? Is there a song called “水牛记”? /looks it up/ There really is?? /plays it - a kazoo ver of Mercury Records/ LYN: I understand now. 水牛记 is a kazoo version of 水星记. I got the joke now. LYN: /to the melody of 水星记/ ~~ Fascinated by your eyes~ I can’t find my kazoo. Where exactly did it go? I don’t know. Where did it go? Where is it... ~~ - /found his kazoo, laughs after the first notes/ LYN: /still singing to the melody of 水星记/ ~~ This one doesn’t sound to good... Let’s see if there’s another... ~~ - /continues with the second kazoo/ /sings the normal lyrics of the ending/ C: This talent... there was no need to show off...  LYN: I was just helping you dream a dream... this is called Water Kazoo Records.

C: Oh, he’s still here. LYN: You might be new here. Today is the first day I will try out a 24 hour stream. If have insomnia or have aches and pains you can lie on your bed and listen as we stay up all night. 

C: I want to hear a song from Chinese Paladin 3. LYN: Alright, let’s see what’s available... /plays 青鸟飞鱼 (Blue Bird Flying Fish)/ ... I don’t know how to sing this song. Let’s pick one I know how to sing. -- 忘記時間 (Time Will Forget) - makes a ref to the drama [t/n: I don’t know what it is, though XD]

C: Are you streaming tomorrow too? LYN: Do I have nothing better to do? C: Are you really going to stream for 24 hours. LYN: My friend, I just want to ask you. Have you downloaded the national anti-scam app to your phone yet? If you don’t have it, I suggest you download it. It will be helpful in your life. - misspoke a little LYN: Night has fallen and my brain isn’t spinning as quickly as it was at 8pm. I think the people who are able to stay up with me right now are of two groups: 1. My Fans and 2. Kind People. Because I know that anti-s definitely can’t keep pace with me. At this time they’ve probably all gone to sleep. All of you remaining, I’m sure are people who truly like me. Or if you don’t “like” me at the very least you don’t find me annoying. C: I watch your streams because I’m a boring person. LYN: Em... you can’t talk about yourself that way. Don’t call yourself a “boring” person... that just might be your current state, but you need to find things for yourself to do so that you aren’t just whiling your time away. For example, like watching LYN’s streams. XD The fact that you are able to stay here and haven’t left yet just proves that you have an interesting soul. The fact that you are able to call yourself out in a public chat and say that you are “boring” means that you are an interesting person.

- someone said they came for YNGS, LYN speculates it’s to check out who LSS’s counterpart will be and if he’s good enough for her. :p - commenting that the sound of his laughter doesn’t make him seem like a good guy. LYN: ?? How are good guys supposed to laugh?? /giggles - “hihihihi”/ /sudden realization/ Oh, is that what you meant? How do good guys laugh? “Hahahaha”? LYN: You’ve all been asking me how I got this job, right? I’ll tell you. One of the producers was scrolling through... let’s call it “B-Tube”.. and they were looking for an actor that looks tall, majestic, and handsome. From FYL’s word of mouth they already knew I fit this description. The second part is that they have to look like a bad guy. Like, if this guy doesn’t smile he looks downright evil. BUT! He has a warm heart. Who else in this industry- I mean, of course there are a lot, but- it just so happened that they saw my video and thought I was suited for the role.  LYN: I’m joking- but the point was that the person needed to have a villainous face, because actually they have designed him so that he does some pretty villainous things. They couldn’t get someone like... like ZSX (who looks innocent). You’ll know what I’m talking about when the drama airs. C: Backhandedly complimenting ZSX? LYN: What I mean to say is that the two of us are of different types, so there’s less of a chance that we are considered for the same type of role. Don’t be fooled- some people can look like great friends but when it comes down to the fight for the same role it’s a real battle. I don’t have any competition with ZSX, so make good friends. Whatever he can act as I cannot, and whatever I can act as he also can. Let’s not say he can’t do it. There’s no competition between us so it’s easier for us to be honest with each other. This is also why I could be good friends with YCY. C: Steal her role. LYN: ?? I can’t compete with her for the female lead role, stop your nonsense. The most I can do is steal her scenes- like if the FL and ML are supposed to hug, and I can’t stand to watch anymore, so I push her aside to hug the ML instead. I’l say, “Is it my turn yet?” (BCF, lol) Other than this, there is no competition between us.

- comment requests to hear some rock music, so he tries to figure out what song to play - comments asking him if he can rap; he doesn’t do it well, the most he can do is Wilbur Pan’s because he used to listen to his music a lot - /demonstrates a little of the rap he does know/

-- 紅塵客棧 (Red Dust Inn)

LYN: Alright, that’s about enough. Today’s stream, from my perspective, was a little long. But I hope that it was able to bring you the tiniest bit of relaxation and happiness. I’m glad that you’re happy. Thank you for your company. I hope you have a wonderful, happy, and relaxing night. It was great to have you. I’ll see you the next time! LYN: If you haven’t yet subscribed to my weibo, please do so. You can come watch me if you have the time, ok? Thank you everybody, good night~

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(4:54:18) #scattered drama chat (BYOL - YNGS) #(learning how to shoot a modern drama and absorbing acting tricks from his co-stars) #bcf references #lyn's favorite pastime: bullying zsx #lyn's 2nd favorite pastime: bullying fang yilun XD #promoting The Truth #the importance of sleep and flexibility #lyn's dream of wanting to be a voice actor #Rang Jiu (Dongbei ver.) and OST chat #brainstorming new excuses to use for bathroom breaks XD

[pinkafropuff]

every time I look at my writing it’s like...it’s all “likes”? and of the maybe four or five reblogs, two people will say something. the others just reblog it mindlessly? 

it concerns me. like...I feel like I’ve said it before but...it’s writing. I wrote it, I didn’t draw it. You had to read it and process it to decide to put it on your blog. Mindlessly reblogging it just makes me feel...idk? Like one of those things people do to seem like they’re doing something good. I’m not talking about like...people who reblog my stuff and put nothing in the tags but also engage in other kinds of content I produce, because it means they just generally have an interest in my work. 

it’s just a little...confusing. And disheartening. Especially when I write books for a living?

#I say the last part loosely because I don't have enough books out for that yet anyway but #I just...want to know the purpose #even emojis are nice. I really like emojis #and it's CRAZY bc people who DO comment end up saying EXACTLY what i want to hear- like I wrote this and I wrote that for a reason. #i don't just slap things together. there is a cohesion to it. themes and whatnot. #and it's...idk i feel like. #I started writing fanfiction again after 10 years to garner attention for my original stuff #but no one seems to want either. #personal

[mandareeboo]

ok now im curious what your most petty thing is (regarding the dp post)

Oooh boy, here we go! Buckle up fuckers this is gonna be a longer one.

My senior year of high school, I took a creative writing class. Partially because I needed to fill the slot, mostly because I wanted to improve my writing (spoiler: I did not). Now, my high school was a three floor building- first was mostly gym, second was general, and the third was senior lockers and art classes. I spent a good chunk of my schedule senior year on the second and third floor, going between an art class to my earth science (I took that one entirely as filler, but also bc I like science) to my locker and so on.

Creative writing? Creative writing was in the fucking basement. Go to the first floor, go to a corner generally used for health and development classes, to another corner, follow a ramp and some stairs, and boom there it is kind of basement. (Side note but this teacher was REALLY into attendance and would get you in trouble if you were late which was really annoying since basically no other class was in that part of the building).

My creative writing teacher wasn't bad, per se. I've had worse teachers. I had an algebra teacher who delighted in making freshman girls cry and mocking them for it. I had a journalism teacher who would use her class time reporting how Hilary was secretly ill during the election. I had a history teacher say trans people weren't real to an openly gender nonconforming student (I didn't know them well enough to ask for specifics on their alignment, but they were using they/them at that point) and set up assignments just to mock students on the take they were told to make. It was more that she was uncreative and took it out on the kids doing creative writing.

She gave us two books to read. Basically “how I write” by published authors. I don’t remember the first one well enough and I donated it ages ago, but the second was Stephen King’s “On Writing”. It was 3/4′s personal stories about his life and 1/4′s “also write a bit every day”.  I mostly remember the first author bc she had those fake dreadlocks white people do when they destroy their hair and she gleefully told a story about making her son have a meltdown at a party or wedding or something bc he got overwhelmed and she wanted him to learn that “sometimes you don’t get what you want”. So. You know. Not much there.

She also instructed us to write in a journal every day, which she would check every few months or so. It had to be at least half a page. She would leave little comments in every one else’s journals when she checked them, but not mine- I realized pretty quickly she was a bit uncomfortable with LGBT+ content, so I made it my mission to make every journal drabble as gay as possible bc I was bored and she couldn’t mark them WRONG when she just stated we needed to write.

But it doesn’t end there! Through the entire class, we got exactly five writing projects. Stories that follow very specific guidelines that we would then read in front of the class, group proofread, and then have the teacher give final grades for. These things were approximately like a thousand words a piece, and I was writing out my 10,000 word “It Starts off Small” story in class when I got bored, so it wasn’t difficult. 

Our first project was a character going through a difficult decision. Or... something? I honestly forget the criteria. Anyway, I was HYPE. I’d had this idea for a long time now a human choosing between peaceful death or reincarnation, and this gave me the push to write it! I had a whole thing planned with death being a deer and reincarnation being a wolpertinger (bc reincarnation leads to many possibilities, ed boy, so a Frankenstein bunny made sense to me). Anyway I poured my heart and soul into this bastard and, bright eyed and bushy tailed, handed it in. My classmates all thought it was pretty good. Not to toot m’own horn, but there was some pretty bad ones going in, so I thought I’d get a solid B or something.

I got a D. I guess the struggle was too metaphorical, or it didn’t perfectly fit her criteria. I was devastated. Then I was mad. Bc I was a bored senior who thought they’d made something pretty decent for this completely optional class and her refusal to see that really hurt me at sixteen (I was always a year younger than my other classmates, so despite being a senior I didn’t turn eighteen until almost a year after graduation)

Well, fuck it, I decided. I’m going to parody the shit out of this class.

Our next project was a fantasy story. I was bitter and grumpy. The other fantasy stories read aloud were stuff like “yeah this dude fought a wizard and got a girl, then they went home and banged” (this was not hyperbole, he would’ve written and read the smut if allowed, I knew him personally) and “this girl that NO ONE UNDERSTOOD was called CRAZY but this S@!$ cheerleader who Stole Her Boyfriend so she killed them all” (fun fact: the girl who wrote that was my age and a sort of half-friend from middle school. She was a yaoi fangirl who didn’t mind lesbians as long as they, you know, didn’t FLIRT with her or something.) 

So I get up there. It’s the last day of presentations. And I present with a polite cheer. My story is about two magical shepherd type figures who are called Sister Brighten and Brother Dick as they chase down a werewolf who was drunk off his ass and accidentally bit someone else. They then revealed they were basically supernatural designated drivers for the whole town. I made Brighten mention that Dick’s name wasn’t even Richard. I titled it “His Favorite Brand is Grayhound”. It fit every single criteria. I got an A. I could tell she didn’t want to, because there was no comments or anything like everyone else’s, but she had to follow her own criteria.

Our third was a conjoined effort thing so I didn’t pull any fuckery there, but the fourth one was about common myths and spinning them into real or fake. One girl did the hook-handed door handle thing and the boyfriend ended up above his truck hanging (somehow???). I think someone did the age-old adage of a haunted wedding dress? I kind of read through those presentations. 

Now, I’m salty-salty at this point. I wasn’t expecting His Favorite Brand is Grayhound to get me a good grade. I half-assed a lot of it. I am in full Not Happy Teenager at this point. I grab a daddy long leg and settle in.

My fourth story of the year is “Paperskin.”

Paperskin is about a boy named Billy with the thinnest skin membrane ever. Just full on body horror. You could see his teeth behind his lips. Billy gets bored one day and wanders out of his house, tries to kick a soccer ball, and breaks a leg. As he’s laying in the grass a daddy long leg bites him- and his skin is so flimsy the fangs sink in and he dies. I’m actually still pretty proud of Paperskin. It’s a horrifying, Edgar Allen Poe of a monstrosity, but it made people squirm, which was the point. The teacher is clearly a bit unnerved at this point, but she gives me another A. 

I wrote a more “normal” story after that of a contentious objector forced to house kids going to see if any confirmed soldier deaths were any of their parents as my final one and I could feel her spite as she gave me a B.

So, yeah. That’s the story of when I tormented my creative writing teacher with The Gays and my weird ass sense of humor after she called one of my best works at that age a piece of shit.

 Here’s a google drive of these bad boys, because yes I do still have these things. I turned these fuckers in for grades, people.

#Ask #Anon #Question Mandar #Life #Humor #Writing #I was a good kid I swear #I didn't make much noise and I didn't argue much #It was just this one lady

[b612sunsets]

Ahhh I’m happy to see someone else loving The Devil Judge - it truly is amazing 😭😭🖤✨ I love Yo-Han and Ga-on’s relationship I swear let them be destructive together!

I hate waiting for new episodes so please tell me one of your theories, it can be about anything! 🥰

Right?! I love it so much, it's really good to have our lilttle fam getting bigger, can't wait until it airs on Netflix, we will have even more people going crazy about it in here! (at least I hope it will become a Netflix series after the show ends like Beyon Evil - another love of mine) and yes, lawful husbands can be destructive together but only to the bad people pls 🥺

It's tough waiting for new episodes every weekend and at the same time I wish for it not to end so soon. It hasn't finished but I already want Jisung and Jinyoung in a second season or working together in another drama. Their chemistry on screen is too good to stop there

About the theories, there's a few I saw on reddit/twitter and I make my own based on it and after watching every episode, but I think it's too early to talk about them. However, since you requested it, there's some that come to mind as interesting enough to mention.

The fire and the story behind it narrated by Yohan

1- Some people think Yohan did start the fire because he found out about the dirty politicians real intentions and decided to destroy them all in the same place before Isaac could donate the money bc he is "a devil" and capable of that since he was a kid as told by the priest with the school incident and the nanny with the maid and dog thing. side note: not for pranking some kids who bullied him because that's all it seems like, right? But in terms of observing, thinking strategically and being one step ahead when needing to punish the whole classroom who wronged him even as young as he was and feeling satisfied while watching the result and staying out of it. A type of mentality probably encouraged by Isaac and the books he gave him to read, unlike a regular kid who would just fight back or endure it. And we still have to see if it really was Yohan that contributed to the maid's death or if it was something/someone else and the nanny thinks it was him.

They think that Elijah even saw him in front of the door right before the fire started and smiled at him instead of smiling at her parents, like she did in the gates of the cathedral in the previous scene, so that's why she hates him so much now because she can remember seeing him as the responsible for it. But Yohan didn't intend to kill/hurt Isaac and the rest of the family, thinking he could save them or something, and felt guilty that he couldn't do so. Some even said that Yohan delayed too much in trying to save them after entering the church and seeing Elijah getting her legs hurt, that it may have been shock but why would he remember everything and everyone so clearly if he was in shock?

It's a good theory but I have my own remarks: why wouldn't he tell Isaac about the politicians himself if he knew the dirty about them then? They had a close relationship and Isaac gave him books about punishment and everything, it wasn't like Isaac was too naive and wouldn't believe his half-brother. He wouldn't have donated if Yohan told him. "Oh he was being the devil and finding a way to punish them instead of just letting is slide and not donating" still, Yohan wouldn't risk Isaac and Elijah with such a dangerous plan if he could avoid having Isaac and Elijah at all in the destruction scene by telling Isaac about it. It could have been shock and Yohan wanting to look and commit to mind everyone's face in that day responsible for hurting his niece and not caring about anyone else but themselves, pushing him away and delaying his attempt to get to them in time, leaving Isaac and the family behind (after they almost donated them their money) and things like that. So he can avenge them now, like he did in the school with the kids. That's why as soon as he could, he canceled the donation in the most easy way by saying his brother wasn't sane enough to make that decision before dying.

There's also the theories about Isaac being the insane/evil one, which wouldn't surprise me because I've considered it since episode 3 but at the same time I'll not be touching that topic now and I don't know if I ever will unless proven otherwise in some other episode

2- The other theory I have and saw people discussing (the one I'm most inclined to believe because I'm Yohan biased but again it's too soon to be sure) is that the story Yohan narrated is mostly if not completely true and he experiences extreme guilt for not coming back and saving Isaac when the church collapsed on him, as seen in the character introduction by tvN translated in this tweet that we now know it's about Isaac:

The last words Yohan said to Isaac was that he was going to come back for him, so he experiences nightmares like the flashbacks we saw in episode 1 and that's why we don't see any scene of Isaac in the middle of the church after the fire staring at Yohan or during the fire and turning to stare directly at Yohan when he narrates it. Because they're dreams and his guilty conscience and he remembers them when looking at Gaon. The flashback of Yohan kneeling down and touching Isaac with Elijah's bear close to him could be after he got Elijah out from there and he went back to put the bear next to him kinda like a "Sorry for not coming back in time", a reassurance that his daughter for whom he died for is safe and will always stay with him, a "Goodbye". He wouldn't just let Isaac's body lying there, he would go back even if it was too late.

Another thing is that when Yohan is showing Gaon his scar after telling the story, there's a book fallen at his feet. I think it was the thing that fell when Yohan standed up from the table and choked Gaon (trying hard not to comment on that choking scene as a 🔥 Gahan moment for our delight and imagination bc that's not the point right now lol)

This is the book:

And the first page of this book says "Never again will a single story be told as though it's the only one." - John Berger

I searched about it and it can mean that never again will a story be told as if it's the only one that matters. It could also mean that never again will a story be so encompassing of the elements it tackles that no other story need be written about these elements. A story has many perspectives that cannot be understood by just a single viewpoint. Isn't that what this kdrama is all about?

One of the translations of what Yohan said after Gaon left was:

But there's also another version:

The meaning of what he said changes a bit depending on which translation is more accurate, more so when we add the book quote to the equation.

Kim Gaon and his connection to Kang Yohan

People think Gaon could be Isaac's relative in some way or just a look alike (I think it's just a look alike to contribute to Yohan's obsession/curiosity and their proximity from the start, that's why no one really comments on it, not even Gaon when he sees Isaac's picture). Dear God, let them not be related because it would make shipping our lawful husbands really strange, to say the least.

What I'd like to say and almost everyone is forgetting is that in the tvN character introduction we already have Gaon's past and know he wasn't always a goody two shoes, the man was a juvenile delinquent and can even fight (the rebellious phase he said he made the tattoo in episode 3?). He too sought revenge for his parents when he was 16 because they committed suicide after losing their money and being deceived by multi-level con artists posing as social service workers. But the teacher and Soohyun were able to hold him back.

Yohan's father could be one of the reasons for their death. He was a loan shark and might have lend them money after they lost it all and it caused them to have a great debt, that's why Yohan did a thorough research on Gaon and was interested in him (not only because he resembled his half-brother). They shared one enemy in common and maybe even a place (churches, Yohan's father tended to confess his sins in a church when his debtors killed themselves). Or Yohan might have researched about him at the time he knew Gaon was chosen to be the associate judge sitting on his left side instead of way before, because it's important to Yohan to know who he is dealing with and the dirty of their past if they have any. And then Yohan discovered everything and saw his picture and resemblance to Isaac.

The thing is: they have the same distrust/repulsion of powerful people who deceive the world and had a painful loss because of that. Both of them think they have the other exactly where they want but they get more confused about what it is that they really want from the other and get closer (as said in the summary of episode 5 that tvN released) while figuring it out. They will come to an understanding and probably join forces at some point. We saw it in the end of episode 4, the scene of episode 5 when Gaon says he can understand Yohan's pain but can't trust him if he doesn't tell him everything and then Yohan says Gaon needs to decide if he will get in his way or stay by his side. Gaon might go back to his rebellious days and stay with Yohan to seek revenge together while distancing himself from Soohyun and Jungho who prevented him from doing so

And that's about it! Thank you for your ask and hope my answer is satisfying enough! 💙 The hardest but also most awesome part is having to wait to see.

#the devil judge #answered asks #the devil judge theories #lawful husbands #gahan #analysis #the devil judge analysis

[crimeronan]

ok finally commenting on soulmateverse. I’m not sure exactly how to describe it, but it makes me feel like i’m going to be okay in a way that very few things have. I don’t know if I’ve ever read something that depicts a found family as something so attainable? Something that Real Adult People can make?

As an arospec, I really related to adam’s arc of feeling torn between Understanding that he can have strong connections regardless of soulmarks, and still having Issues because what if actually he just. isn’t meant to ever have that.

And then the Adansey arc of not expressing how much you care (out of fear), but needing people to understand how much you do care. Seeing Adam finally say it out loud! That made me feel like Miles in that Into The Spiderverse meme where he’s holding up a mask and looking at Peter B in awe. Like I, too, can in fact express positive vulnerable emotions.

And also the whole platonic bonds being strong as fuck and being accepted without diminishment! Screaming clawing destroying etc. And holy fuck the way they Communicate??? The way that they can be uncomfortable, but emotionally raw anyway. It made me feel like I could do that. Everything else I’ve read that aims to do something similar feels hollow, or only possible in fiction, and that makes me feel hollow. But soulmateverse makes me feel like there is at least one solid stud in my chest that I could hang a painting on, or even anchor a whole shelf to.

Also also, it’s so reassuring to feel like I’m not growing away from the possibility of having a group like that—because it’s so often portrayed as a high school or maybe undergrad thing (even when the actual non-traditional relationship is just subtext)—but like I could grow towards it. If I try. (The trying!!! The doing it On Purpose!!!)

And I can already tell that the Jordeclan installment is going to call me out in more ways than one.

honestly I don’t think I could get how much this impacted me into words. I hope that scramble of thoughts is more successful than Gansey’s attempt at eggs.

❗️💕❗️

thank you so much for this 🥺 the last line made me laugh aloud dksjdjdn

each of the arcs and relationships in that story has Big pieces of things i've felt and learned over the years - adam got some of my own complicated arospec feelings and sense of independence, ronan the grief and fear of ruining things with a chosen family, hennessy the..... everything. the extraneous relationships too, i certainly pulled from my experiences with my People for the adansey and bluedam and roah and so on

oftentimes when i read stories, i end up faced with characters who i either don't relate to or who get a happy ending that i don't think would be accessible to me. i'm disabled and crazy and don't do traditional relationships which means most romance and coming-of-age stuff simply isn't relatable to my own life

so it always means a lot to hear from people with similar feelings because !! life does not end in your twenties!! if anything most queer & disabled people i know have only just BEGUN to create the lives they want in their twenties, the world is full of possibilities and paths to carve. and sometimes you also make terrible mistakes in your twenties and it's still not the end of the world bc you can learn and grow and come back from it.

thanks for this, the whole message means a lot and i do want to keep it forever

#replies #save tag #soulmate verse #trc #cdth

[sugar-petals]

Your First Date With Baekhyun

:: bbh x sm apprentice!reader

words. 10k

warnings ⚠️ idol au hc, pining, brief angst, eventual car sex 👀, tw light injuries bc baek is clumsy in love, oral fixation, finger sucking, rough sex, making out

↳ NOTE. here we go again with the slow burn ✊🔥

It all starts with a divine act of clumsiness. 

An accident, completely out of the blue.

Who is surprised, what else could it be.

Ever since Baekhyun violently bumped into you from behind in the SM cafeteria to avoid Mark spilling red hot Americano on him… life has never been the same. 

That you walked in on him walking around mighty topless, with you wanting to clear the dance practice room many hours after work three times already does not help.

It’s always the same chain of events. He practices for longer than the others and gets sweaty, pulls off his shirt, pauses the music for a five-minute break. That’s unintentionally making it seem like everyone is already gone and the room is empty — you are deceived by it every time, and he almost gets a heart attack himself. We know how easily embarrassed Baekhyun is with showing skin by accident, outside of any shower stalls that is, let alone being caught stripping by himself. 

The first time he screams and you scream, off you run after quickly shutting the door. He tries his best to cover himself up with his hands, but to no avail. Lucas, Kai, and Johnny are no longer the only Magic Mikes under this rowdy fucking roof anymore. Even if you turned around fast, you saw more than a whole lot. 

You know how scared Baekhyun is by surprises, he gets all fidgety. Even after four whole minutes, he still sits with the music off breathing harder than he did from powering through four jointbreaking ligament-snappers I mean EXO choreographies. 

Lot of thoughts on his mind, lot of blood pumping through him. Baekhyun can hear a pretty hefty heartbeat pound in his ears. Eventually, he shakes his head at himself and does switch the music back on. But even that doesn’t distract him, nor can he concentrate on the moves. He keeps on asking himself — what the hell is wrong, what is this, why does he act like that? 

So, he ends up sneaking out of the room to call it a day. You were waiting in the nearby corridor to do the cleaning after he left. But now, you hide behind a shelf with props and miscellanea to avoid him. 

Of course, Baekhyun comes to grab a water bottle from said cupboard. Well, oh shit. He has his shorts on, and his calves are literally 20 inches away from you. He doesn’t see you crouching down there, but your pulse is going through the roof now, too. 

In fact, not even the days when Taeyong is walking around the company in a sexy as hell crop top could cause you such a panic. And that is the highest possible bar already. The average apprentice almost faints.

There’s pungent sweat that can knock you out of your socks… and then there’s sexy sweat scent mixed with men’s deodorant. Baekhyun leaves the latter after rushing out of the corridor. It’s even more intense in the practice room, if not absolutely unbearable. Oh boy. Pheromones, please no.

It’s almost as if you’re taking a bath in cologne. You’re getting nauseous and tingly from how it gets to you. You can hardly focus on scrubbing the mirror. If only the guy knew what horniness he is causing just by infusing the air, what the fucking fuck.

The second time, he jerks up again, but tries to explain himself. But so do you, ending up with a mutual, stuttering word spill in sync. 

Neither of you understood what the other was saying because you were too busy with a knee-jerk dialogue. Anxious all over, you quickly leave and eventually end up hiding behind the cupboard again. The new comeback track blasts even louder in the practice room. 

The third occasion, you no longer flinch at each other and laugh a little, mighty embarrassed still, but apologize with knowing eyes. This time, you enter the room after a small „Can I?“ and at least manage to clear some noodle boxes and unused towels from the backup dancers away, and pin a new schedule to the door. 

Baekhyun quickly pulls over his plain white tee and keeps on mumbling sorry, sorry like he’s Super Junior, practically scraping the ground with his hair because he bows so deep. 

You’ve never seen him this awkward. Instead of his usual one-liners and most effortless conversation starters, he resorts to switching on the music again after frantically looking everywhere but in your direction. He sings his lines right along, getting back into the routine’s intricate steps. 

Strange. 

Very strange.

All day, he is impulsive with lightening up just about any situation. One sentence, hook line and sinker; the mood alleviates. Not this time. He’s ignoring you now that you’re in the room.

The truth is: Baekhyun can’t help but set his pupper eyes on you in all other occasions already, especially when you’re busy at a distance. And it’s making him crazy. Next day at the cafeteria, he deliberately arrives late so he can queue way, way behind you. 

For the first time in all glorious epochs K-Pop history, he would let Sehun enter the line before him so he would have a shield. „Maknaes first“ is his brief comment, and Sehun thinks that Baekhyun must squarely confuse today with his birthday.

And fate says… sike. Two minutes later, a teary Mark rushes toward you and loudly apologizes for the Americano disaster. „Baekhyun was not being impolite, it was me!“

As he says just that, he turns, points right at Baekhyun’s tomato red head peeking out from behind Sehun’s shoulders, and bows to him. 

The whole cafeteria is witness, including Lee Soo Man.

And SHINee, who will have gossip material for five weeks because of this. Key is already taking notes. 

And BoA — who’s giggling because she’s seen it all in the business and knows exactly what’s going on with Baekhyun and you. Oh. Lord.

Baekhyun wants to sink into the ground right then and there. He’s been found out again. Of course he has to step out from his lair now and bow back to Mark, take the blame and explain the whole incident all over, and comfort him with a string of appeasing words. Which he hates for four reasons at the same time. He embarrassed Mark, himself, disturbed you the way he bumped into your back, and now you saw him hiding from… precisely you. Little does he know you did, too. 

Baekhyun quickly retreats to sit next to Sehun once again after Mark has calmed down and he, being the senior as always, has performed another 180° bow to you in front of the entire staff and idol audience, causing his oversized shirt to slip downward, way to his armpits. 

Goodness gracious.

BoA is this close to shouting „get a room“ upon seeing Baekhyun stand in front of you with his stomach all bare until he has hastily tucked his shirt back into this place. Fast as it happens, you can’t hide your reaction face. 

Chanyeol, sitting at a nearby table, does a telling reaction noise himself, and you can tell he’s read the situation to a T. Even worse, he’s whistling. You can fool a lot of people, but not Park „Radar“ Chanyeol. He’s a himbo incarnate, but this guy’s emotional intelligence is too damn strong, and he knows Baekhyun inside out. Oh shit, man.

The next ten minutes are fraught with a weird, sonorous mumbling in the room. Lee Soo Man doesn’t really get it, thank God. But the meaning of Baekhyun silently cowering behind Sehun while eating his kimchi stew is more than obvious to half of the people around. Baekhyun never fucking acts like this, even when he’s sad.

It’s like something is pushing the two of you into humiliating situations like that ever since you started to work at SM since last May. Literally Baekhyun can’t stop apologizing to you all day because he’s suddenly clumsy or the strangest situations happen.

Nope, he doesn’t do it on purpose. But yes, he finds himself enjoying your attention. So what is he going to do? This keeps being stuck on his mind. Especially because half of EXO, NCT, and SuperM is asking him what the hell is going on in three raging group chats at once.

And you? I don’t have to tell you how it feels like when Baekhyun stumbles over to squarely plant his cutesy baby face into your back. Firmly wrapping his hands around your waist on top of that not to fall over entirely. That feeling is locked into your muscle memory. And now, seeing him stripped down for the fourth time already? Goodbye to your sleep.

Special thanks to a jittery Mark for making this first hug I mean collision out of nowhere happen. Just to be sure: Mark really didn’t spill his coffee on purpose, nor did Baekhyun want to bump into you this hard. And we know Mark’s reflexes are usually fast enough to save the day. But he was about to host his first variety show all by himself, so you can imagine how shaky and distracted he was. And nobody will resent him — this is only all about you and Baekhyun… being the most repressed motherfuckers.

Baekhyun constantly almost-crashing into you somewhere or basically crawling on the ground before you makes for a second very shaky guy. What the hell is pulling him towards you wherever he goes? It’s even worse than Minseok moving one inch and accidentally smacking Baekhyun in the face.

It just goes on and on.

Following the second cafeteria embarrassment, the next Friday after lunch, you run into each other at the ground floor elevator exit so you would drop your fries. Yeah, extra crispy ones, with the best mayonnaise. Baekyhun has been feeling so guilty about his curse at this point that he orders extra fries for you at the cafeteria two times a week with his card. Which makes Chanyeol know dear Eros struck particularly hard. Because if he didn’t care, Baekhyun would pay it five times a week like he does for NCT every now and then. But if he does it only two times, something is at stake. He doesn’t want it to be apparent.

Baekhyun can’t even look you in the eye when he puts them on your tray. Instead, he quickly bows three times in a row and then disappears. This guy is a small puddle of blush. 

Lee Soo Man cites him into his room to say what’s wrong soon, but all Baekhyun can blurt out is that he didn’t sleep well and the comeback song won’t get into his head. Which is not a direct lie, so.

Whatever you do, Baekhyun appears out of the blue and falls to your feet. Only two days later, he returns from shooting an MV and slips right in front of your office. Pretty much because his feet stumble over his own pants. You put the paperwork aside and check what the hell is going on outside. A dizzy Baekhyun straight-up hit his head at your door. He declines you helping him up because he knows that your touch is probably gonna make him fully insane. He walks around with a forehead patch during the comeback stage and people online think it’s the latest trend.

Somebody save this man.

The universe just keeps on arranging the silliest things to make shit happen, huh.

At this point, Baekhyun developing a full-blown apprentice crush is as obvious as Lucas being tall.

Now, the reality is. This man is Hitch, the Date Doctor. He notoriously handles crowds, can get along with anyone he’s put together with on camera, helps the other members to juggle their love life whenever they have a problem. Chen is probably a married man because of Baekhyun in one way or another. He isn’t really shy normally in his own words. But when it comes to his own crushes — classic case of everybody’s cupid who gives good advice they would need the most. 

That Baekhyun is helpless with anything that digs beneath the surface of his usual interactions will show to you very soon. There’s tough Baekhyun, there’s cute Baekhyun, and then there’s an utterly speechless little bean who has an internal meltdown when you do as much as take the stairs together. The difference is staggering. He’s fidgety, tense, makes himself even smaller and first and foremost: Is impressionable to an extreme.

In short: Baekhyun has fully converted into a fake maknae.

It’ll show in staff meeting conversations on trivial things about the schedule that he wing-mans everybody but himself when shit hits the fan. He stutters in your presence. Baek’s a mess. Chanyeol takes Baekhyun to the side and raises his brows at him at least five times a day, as in wanting to say: „Are you ever going to do something about it?“

Baekhyun dodges the answer each time and preoccupies himself with social media. Fans will later say that he hasn’t uploaded as many Twitter replies, Youtube videos, and Instagram snapshots in his whole career. And Baekhyun is already quite active online so you can tell how much he’s spamming.

Secretly… hoping you see his online activity. Which you do. 

You’ve memorized his five latest vlogs down to the cute little sound noises he’s making. Still, you hide behind the cupboard, and he is hiding behind an unsuspecting Johnny. Because Sehun is already grumbling about becoming a human shield, and Chanyeol would tease Baekhyun to the hell and back whenever you’re around.

Why does all of that happen? Why is he trying to escape? 

The answer is, Baekhyun feels an overpowering respect towards you. He doesn’t know where it’s coming from, it’s something you exude. To the point where he isn’t able to clown you the way he does with others. It’s literally that bad.

On top of that, Baekhyun is frustrated that whatever extroversion he can switch on during broadcasts, fan meets, and with the other members is suddenly failing him. He tries hard to fall back to his usual humor, but you being around makes him act much more erratic. And, surprisingly reserved, believe it or not.

Eye contact will make him break whatever character he’s trying to tune into for the sake of keeping it together. The exact opposite will happen. All the blushing and boiling hot sweat gives him away. Your own heated af face he doesn’t even notice.

In his mind, he’s going through any possible way of mannerisms to get your attention all while not embarrassing himself. He gives confident SuperM leader Baekhyun a shot, comedian Baekhyun, too, and he will don a pokerfaced version of himself as a last option whenever you are close. 

All unsuccessfully. He can’t keep the façade for long; he knows he’s acting strange and inconsistent that way. Do you even realize what you merely sitting in the same practice room is doing to this guy?  

As you can tell…

It’s up to you to hit on him. Finding an unmistakable balance between being breathtakingly forward and overly subtle. The right way to ask him out is somewhere in between. The way you gauge it, Baekhyun is turned off by all kinds of brazen approaches, but doesn’t want to be nudged with satin gloves and feathers either.

However, you end up playing too lowkey at first try because you’re just as nervous. You think, maybe it’s good to find out how interested in me he will admit he is. Which, given how much he tries to conceal his feelings, turns out to be a difficult idea.

And — Isn’t is crystal clear he likes you a whole lot by the way he tries to retreat from everyone but you? Recently, fleeing to stand behind Lucas. Who has the most hiding surface and won’t question what Baekhyun is doing there all the time, unlike Johnny.

So, how do you learn that your plan is a bad idea? You try to involve yourself in NCT’s Friday night truth-or-dare where Baekhyun always joins to mess with everyone.

But that weekend, he interestingly excuses himself to „practice English, it’s urgent!“. Off he goes as soon as he sees that you are part of the lineup, looking like he’s seen a ghost. 

So, that mission failed. You get Taeyong, Haechan, and Yuta twerking against you at the same time while wearing sailor moon outfits as a dare instead. 

However: You still learned something from this. The way that even Haechan’s wild gyrating and arguably great ass did not have a single effect on you tells you that you really want someone else really damn bad. Hell, if Yuta Nakamoto winds against you and you feel nothing—

And, something else has become apparent to you.

Professional he is, Baekhyun establishes rapport even with people he dislikes or feels neutral about, but when his more vulnerable feelings are in the game, he runs from them. 

Beside Chanyeol and BoA, you’re smart enough to begin seeing what clockwork ticks inside of him. When Baekhyun doesn’t try to get close to someone that’s around him so frequently, something is mighty wrong and his opinion about that someone must be an intense one. And it’s not because he hates that person, the opposite is the case. 

He’s almost less afraid of you than his worries of ruining it. 

But through what, you’re wondering, seriously. 

On the other hand, you get why Baekhyun keeps a viable distance. He knows it’s difficult to be associated with him in the way he wishes you were. Since people were looking at him and you so strange in the cafeteria, he even stopped practicing in the after hours. 

Two weeks later, he even quits buying you fries for lunch and eats in the recording studio instead. Chanyeol remains correct: Much is at stake.

After the truth-or-dare fail, you sit down in sobriety and go through your options. You get all sorts of grand ideas to reveal your feelings, but dismiss the majority of it. You have to start small, really small. This needs the utmost care. Especially because you don’t want to compromise him by accident any further, nor are you anywhere near as ballsy as you believe someone hitting on Byun Baekhyun needs to be. 

Truth be told: BoA would kick your ass for thinking that. And letting so many opportunities pass, as if you aren’t beating yourself up for it enough. Idol mode Baekhyun, well, he would be hard to approach indeed. But what is currently going on… he’s literally showing you his underbelly. He’s begging you to do something.

That he avoids even the lightest touch: More than telling to BoA’s knowing eye. He would be so easy to sway with just one sentence. She knows that at this point, Baekhyun is desperate. His yes would come so fast. You’re far from having faith in this. But you still try. You want this man.

Eventually, you rack your brain for anything understated you could do. 

Then, you get the idea. 

After a schedule briefing, Baekhyun recently said he dearly wishes he could eat fried noodles in the early evening because he’s craving something savory, meanwhile flashing a split-second glance at you. Maybe… You can discreetly bridge the gap by getting him food.

You’re part responsible for doing things like that in the company already so nobody will question you driving around with your little motorbike. 

If you think about it: That’s a good excuse to approach him frequently and visit his apartment. The move is calculated, but it’s what the situation requires. You can’t tell how Baekhyun will react, but if he looked at you this way, it’s worth a shot.

And so, you dare the impossible. You show up with a deliberately small portion of noodles after the last comeback stage, knock twice. He does open. You’re frozen up.

Uttering a hopefully neutral „You said you wanted this. I’ll also bring it tomorrow if you want,“ and then drive off again without even waiting for a reply from a very surprised-looking Baekhyun in PJs. 

Sweating like crazy, thank God your helmet and the upcoming dark of the night was hiding your red cheeks. Shit man, that was robotic as fuck! is what you’re thinking for the entire ride home. Another fail, you sure won’t return tomorrow. Now you can’t look him in the eye, either.

Meanwhile: 

The meal not only saves the day of Baekhyun’s usually very lackluster diet mood that comes out when he is by himself. It also makes him flustered and grateful, curling up on his couch. He couldn’t even remotely try to say no out of politeness or concerns for his food plan. Baekhyun breaks the chopsticks right away after closing the door. Today, his dog’s with him. Mongryong excitedly jumps up and down next to Baekhyun. Your visit was short and sweet, but it made two beans very happy.

In fact, he rips open the box and shoves a quarter of the content into his mouth in the blink of an eye. It’s not just how hungry he is. He’s also overwhelmed that you came to his house. He feels like it’d be the highest level of disrespect to throw it away to begin with, no matter how spartan his eating habits are supposed to be. 

He almost views this little take-out box as a part of you. He imagines how you listened to him talk, decided to drop by, bought it with your own money, and carried it all the way to him. All that extra effort and attention he spins back and forth in his head for the whole next week.

And, on the spot, Baekhyun is so taken aback that he starts deep cleaning his apartment at midnight as soon as he finishes his noodles. 

To your own initial shock, he also drops an envelope with money under your office door the next day. And you thought someone was sending threats.

You get the underlying message, though. This is something just between the two of you, and the envelope is a yes. For another meal. Actually, more than that. There are 30 sorted bills in it, each to buy one box since he knows where you get the food from and what the standard price is. 

Payment for one month in advance. Meetings for one month in advance. This fucker. 

And you thought your sweaty scene at his apartment left him confused or weirded out. Nope, he decided he wants this times thirty. Something you have to let sink in.

The next day you drive along at the same time, there’s nobody there. 

Because Baekhyun has left the door open. Now you can’t just speed away again. Nor do you really want to, for God’s sake. 

After putting your helmet down in the small entrance room, you find an anxiously waiting Baekhyun on the extremely cleaned up living room couch, sitting there with fidgeting feet like it’s a porn casting. 

The tension could kill. You put the box on the table before him like it’s England’s Crown Jewels. You want to calm him down so desperately, but don’t know how.

Given his sparkly eyes set on the food, that he wants to devour what you brought him right away is not hard to overlook. But he still seems hesitant. Insecure. Baekhyun doesn’t manage to say a full word which is the most surreal thing. You work up your voice and pass him the chopsticks in their paper packaging. „Pig out. You didn’t eat since 7AM.“

Again, he breaks the chopsticks. Trying hard not to do it too fast.

You sit opposite to him and revert back to professional mode. Talking about statistics from the comeback that Baekhyun hummingly acknowledges the way he does when you talk to EXO in meetings. 

He stuffs himself like his life depends on it. No stable eye contact from him. 

Both of you know that it’s not what you want to say. But even ten minutes in: Nothing about the cafeteria, the fries, the envelope, the topless incident, the forehead patch, nothing. Just you going on about details from work and him listening, nodding, chewing, making brief little remarks and using all his standard corporate phrases. „Ah, yes, EXO surely benefits from that.“ But it’s a start. You begin small. 

So far, so good. With every evening, the conversation becomes more and more two-sided and the meals bigger. A second envelope soon enters your office, covering the extra costs for the XXL boxes, your fuel, and another month worth of meals. Note: Only one and a half weeks in. 

Fuck, you got yourself into something big. Is it because his dog likes you?

You are starting to like babying him like that, even if you both keep it serious. Unusually so, but at least you don’t get into any more accidents with that suspense off your either shoulders. 

It’s not like that cute little face would leave you any chance in the first place. Baekhyun smiles shyly around you. His big laugh is sweeping, but the small things… lethal. Absolutely lethal.

His manager doesn’t like it, but his genius idol’s mochi factor is increasing since you bring him spicy, richer foods. Baekhyun declines most snacks he’s offered at work, hardly eats up at the cafeteria and gives it to Foodcas Xuxi instead, and even the stylists wished he would gain more weight without any results in their convincing acts. But when you bring him a large portion of extra al dente spaghetti or — as of recently — self-made black bean noodles, Baekhyun would consider it rude not to follow the call of the carbs. 

Interesting.

He eats even more aggressively when he knows you made the food yourself. 

Quickly enough, he pays either for take-out or ingredients meant for not one, but two people. You usually eat a little earlier than he does, but you would not trade the best luxury meal in the world eaten by yourself with being together in Baekhyun’s flat. To the average Joe, this would be the biggest hassle, but to you… there’s no way you can get enough of being around him so privately. You enjoy taking the time to buy food for him. Taking the time in general.

You’re not the only one.

I don’t have to tell you how Baekhyun has to fight getting a vicious hard-on with sitting opposite to you with your motorcycling jacket peeled down to the hip, right inside a staring-not staring-staring-not staring match while you both slurp on your noodle soup pretending to be apprentice and idol.

It’s… bizarre. And hot. And bizarre. And frustrating.

You both don’t know where to take all of this. You end up making it a rock-solid daily routine, but not going any further than that because you are afraid. The excuse: Never change a running system.

In the meantime, Baekhyun works out even more. Not to compensate for the calories or to get rid of the increasingly chubby cheeks. Nope, it’s to impress you and show his fitness, plain and simple. At times, the music once again blasts in the practice room after everyone left. You come in to clear the room with Baekhyun in one of his very tight tank tops. 

You greet each other softly smiling. The familiarity really does begin to show. While you sort and organize, he writes you a little note on what to get for food tonight. He scribbles a little „:3“ emoji underneath. 

You think about that for at least two hours before you drive to his apartment.

So, yeah. Something is going on with him regardless of both of you trying to keep your routine stable and CIA-level secret. 

He finds himself cringeworthy when he carries seven stacked up chairs to a group meeting at once just because you’re attending. But something in him can’t help it, for the love of God. At least in this regard, he thinks, something is running on autopilot in terms of flirting methods. Meaning, he really does hide less and less. 

Meanwhile, Lucas’ eyes are falling out because Baekhyun is mustering new levels of strength nobody suspected he had. In the most random situations, even. Baekhyun’s fitness trainer is also living one hell of a life because his protégée is so eager these days. Mastering everything from weights to pilates. Hormones are one hell of a drug.

Kai frequently remarks that Baekhyun is different. „He’s nagging much less, what’s going on, why, why!“ he says to Taemin on the regular, and they invent all kinds of theories.

Since Baekhyun doesn’t want to miss out on your daily evening visit nor spend 8 hours in the gym, that means: He increases the intensity of the work-outs. For two and a half weeks, he is completely knocked out afterwards.

And so… it happens.

Baekhyun falls asleep before your visit. The door he has opened beforehand as always, but you enter a dim room with dozing Baekhyun splayed on the bed in his red carpet outfit from earlier that day. He worked out in the morning, did some hosting, talked his soul out in an interview, attended an award show, drove home, and eventually collapsed in the sheets. Lights out.

You put the rice box and cake slice you brought along on his desk. He looks so cute when he dozes, but you also hate disturbing his sleepy angel hours. Especially because you know how worn-out his schedule has left him and you feel sorry for it. 

You feel weird for standing there with your take-out and want to hurry outside as fast as possible, but leave a note. 

For the first time in weeks, you eat dinner in your own flat.

After forcefully waking up at 3AM due to his usual sleep cycle being off balance, Baekhyun falls into a spiral of regrets. Once it dawns on him what time it is and he must have missed your visit, he buries his face in his palms sitting at the edge of the bed. 

He resents himself for neither cleaning up his bedroom properly nor staying awake even more so, no matter how eventful his day was. He imagines how you must have seen him sleep, probably in the most humiliating, unflattering position and with terrible hair, judging him for being rude, forgetful, unattractive, messy, and probably a thousand other things.

Until… he finds the note. That one gives him a second almost-heart attack, but an adrenaline-fueled one this time. He stumbles back onto his bed and reads it twenty times over.

„Rest well and dig in. Don’t worry. Text if you’re okay. 03304 68010113.“

After three typos in your number, almost choking on cold rice because he eats so passionately, and several minutes of going back and forth on sending something, he kicks his own ass and writes a little „I’m ok, I’m very very sorry! I’m an idiot 😭“. After you reply that he has no reason to apologize, he rambles on about how he wishes that he’s not being an inconvenience to you with a whole row of sad and dejected emojis. 

You hate that Baekhyun feels put on the spot and obliged because of you this way and try to think hard about how to solve the dilemma. You won’t try to stop the rain of his apologies by telling him to calm down because you know it’ll make it worse, and instead decide it’s time to get going.

The opportunity is now, and there’s only one.

‚So, I have an idea—“

Going to the groovy little underground pizza restaurant downtown is something that Baekhyun immediately accepts as a suggestion. He wants to compensate for his dozing, but he also knows that this is a whopping chance more than anything.

And… a covert first date. 

He knows that’s what it is. It’s about leveling up now.

Before you can write that you’ll treat him and he can relax, he gets firm with insisting that you will pay not a single dime. You know that it’s not just his overworking conscience speaking. It’s also the only way Baekhyun gets an occasion to express that he takes this very seriously via text. 

That he wants to repay you and aims to get the most out of meeting up is something you realize when he steps out of the wardrobe room the next evening after everyone in the company has gone home. 

The stylists he has told that he needs to try this particular outfit on for some time to get used to it. „I need to dance in this, so.“

Actually, it is meant for EXO performing at the Oscars next week, but he got away with the excuse and a promise to take care. 

And… he really did the rest of the styling all by himself. He’s turned into a glamorous neat freak. Every shiny hair glued into its desired place, freshly dyed honey blonde with soft brunette roots. 

In fact, who walks at you is a wholly different Baekhyun in a dark, reddish-violet satin suit, pointy black shoes, matte black tie, mature sultry eye shadow, black square sunglasses pushed up into his hair, his signature lipstick, with a distinct statement tote bag, and black lace socks. I repeat: Lace. This is the fanciest anybody has ever headed to eat $6.50 pizza at a tube station. I mean wow, just wow. The tailored shoulders and how tight the tux cinches in at the waist is on par with Kai’s Obsession crop top. 

Even the much more expensive award show outfit from last week looks like a potato sack compared to how much he dolled himself up and reinvented literally every inch about himself. Like you have to prevent yourself from drooling.

Yep. He. Means. Business.

Funnily enough, Baekhyun realizes his zeal and just how much he is trying to impress you at all costs when you turn up with your standard khaki trench coat, bunny print umbrella, and casual white sneakers that have seen World War 1 and 2. You know, just the way you always come to his apartment and the way it’s inconspicuous. 

Going by his face… he starts to overthink his esteem. You can see how his expression becomes mortified. You promptly decide to put an end to his self-conscious back and forth through taking him by the hand. 

„You’re the best-looking man in the world and I’m asking you for a date. Are you comin’ or are you not?“

You then make it particularly clear to him that if anything, this right in front of you is very much authentic Baekhyun and not someone else you’re in for after all. And, that you’re both in your genuine form tonight the way it’s gotta be, the way you know each other and the reason why you decided to do this. Boom.

Four-step Greek style sermon for tonight: Delivered.

Now he’s gaping at you too much to beat himself up. That mission is very much accomplished. Modern problems apparently require ancient rhetoric. You’re in a kick-ass mood tonight. I dunno, anybody would be, Baekhyun’s accentuated sense of style has the historic potential to make girls reckless.

Baekhyun’s hand is heated like an Icelandic geyser and his heartbeat rate would make the average rabbit look like an amateur. Believe it or not — it’s the first time you’re deliberately touching. It’s ridiculous.

You head to the company garage, he churns out five jokes in a row on how he must look like a Korean Elton John on the way to his best-of concert, you laugh… Baekhyun feels better. Three times as nervous compared to when you usually come to his flat, but better nevertheless. And he drives, so. 

He feels like he’s catching up and giving something back, no matter that you feel he doesn’t have to, but to him, it’s important. 

You joke back to him how it’s a little bit funny — Elton John pun intended — that you saw every inch of Baekhyun’s apartment at this point already but this is the first date. The world is upside down, but it’s SM Entertainment, so. Things get started in different ways, but they do.

That realization is getting to him, too. Baekhyun’s peacock alter ego emerges to bolt over the motorway like a lovedrunk Lewis Hamilton with a foot glued to the gas pedal, but also checks fifty times for how you feel in the passenger seat. Asking about how you like it, if the A/C is set to how you want it, whether your seat is tilted the way you enjoy it. Damn, he really is on edge. 

On top of that, said alter ego maneuvers him right into a 3-kilometer outer ring traffic jam before his innocent self even realizes it. More time to chat… more time to sit so close… more time you get to savor the comfort of his luxurious car. So that was a Freudian slip with a steering wheel right there.

You already know that Baekhyun has never tried as hard to make somebody like him. You compliment his taste in cars vice versa to take that pressure off before he turns into a nervous wreck entirely. And then, also adding that you could get used to this which makes Baekhyun feel like a billion Won. His eyes are downcast, his cheeks are beaming. Figures, light superpowers and such, we know the deal.

Meanwhile, that you really like him already and for a long time is something you challenge yourself to make more than apparent to him. If he’s still this desperate about pleasing you and unsure about how he comes across, there’s some work to do. This guy needs a sign. A football field-sized one. If Baekhyun’s demon is his self-worth tonight, yours is being a lot more demonstrative. You’ve been far too indirect with him all day every day.

That you’re outside of both your professional spheres actually helps: Big fucking time.

Easing him into a conversation happens surprisingly smooth when you recount visiting his apartment and seeing him sleep so beautifully. Which you say was the most gratifying thing which is the truth. It’s been on his mind, hearing about your relief makes a lot of things plague him less. 

You also add how you enjoy bringing him food just because. That he’s nice and good company, even when he sleeps. That assures Baekhyun and makes him laugh.

And yes. He ends up serenading you throughout the entire traffic jam. And yes. When Baekhyun is in love, his singing is particularly on point. You can hear the cherry on top in his registers. No need for the stereo, you can ask him to sing any song you like. 

The traffic jam disperses after 20 minutes, Baekhyun has interpreted your entire favorite playlist at this point. Arriving feels like way too soon. 

You put your trench coat over Baekhyun while he exits the car. There’s hardly anyone around in this part of the town but who knows, making sure not to mess up his hair in the process. Both of you hurry to the stairs leading underground. Meanwhile, the car is parked quite stealthily behind a closed-down fish restaurant with dusty windows.

It feels good to walk around with Baekhyun right by your side. 

The surroundings are cluttered with trash and only few people wait at the tube station that opens up before you with every step downwards. It’s actually perfect as a getaway. There are mostly older businessmen on shift at first glance. 

It’s colder out in the open and surrounded by surfaces of concrete, the car was like a spa by comparison. Baekhyun takes the initiative to put the trench coat back onto your shoulders. You feel flattered and you smile at each other, and walk on with synchronized steps. The pizza bar is almost within sight. In the meantime, the digital board announces the tube arriving in five minutes. He takes your hand.

And then… some real bullshit goes down.

A group of seven scraggly-looking teens lounge on a bench, roughly 200 meters before the pizza bistro. You have to pass the bench close-by given how narrow the walking space next to the train tracks is. 

One of them, the tallest of the bunch, coarsely shouts at you. „How much did that prostitute cost and where does he keep his money, huh?“ He sticks his wriggling tongue out right along. The others are ogling Baekhyun’s shoes and chest pockets, preying and laughing and sneering. It dawns on you that you should’ve asked for one more song in the car.

The mood tips. One of the boys sitting on the left side of the bench starts fiddling with a 3-inch switchblade. And then, something flicks the switch inside you, too. Your Kyoong-protect-o-meter goes through the roof faster than Baekhyun can get his car to the speed limit. 

Cue She-Hulk transformation. In an onslaught of your inner wrestling diva claiming her rights, you take matters into your own hands by hurling Baekhyun’s glitzy designer bag at the guy’s surprised face. Sorry Versace, it had to be done. The whole group gasps out loud. While they’re still caught off guard, you go on to lunge forward and furiously whack greasy knife guy and two other approaching attackers with your Roger fucking Rabbit umbrella using a windmill-motion martial arts technique you came up with from scratch. Baekhyun doesn’t even have to duck… being smol has its advantages. 

The switchblade is sent flying into a bin. Point landing. You proceed to rip into the group to helicopter your improvised weapon in circles until it threatens to plow down the better of them and they back away squealing and pleading. Britney would be so damn proud of you, I’m telling ya.

Needless to say, the mortally terrified group runs and disperses into the arriving tube, probably booking their therapist appointments for Monday morning already. You pick up the bag for Baekhyun a little breathless, dust it off, and say a prayer. Holy shit. 

What the hell just happened. Literally, what the fucking fuck.

An entirely wide-eyed Baekhyun still can’t believe that a whole group of sleazy guys twice as tall as him took an unhinged windmill beating by you to prevent a robbery, and meanwhile he is the martial arts champion. Like, hello? He’s been a Hapkido instructor with several gold medals. How many black belts does the guy have again? He could mow down fifty of that kind and pulverize anyone of them with a mere NCT-style kick. This is ridiculous. He’s mighty impressed.

A few businessmen at the station are looking at you from afar with open mouths. You wave and give a thumbs up signalling all is okay. The security personnel reviewing the CCTV the next day is down for a ride. You hope that there are no headlines with pictures of this. Tube brats get their ass busted by cartoon bunny at 2:15 AM. K-Pop star Baekhyun defended by mysterious umbrella wielder gone wild.

You take a deep breath, brush off your coat. „Um. Moving on I guess.“ Then, interlink arms with Baekhyun, strolling on toward the restaurant. Looking around everywhere, still a little shocked. Walking off your relief helps, as is looking forward to eating. Damn, you do outrageous things when you’re hungry.

The restaurant is the size of the practice room at best, lit with white neon and decorated with Italian flags in every corner. The empty seats are designed like in an American diner from the 80s.

The lanky six-foot-something waiter, Luigi Roberto Maranello Salvatore (his nameplate is really in-depth about this), hurries to the door when he sees how Baekhyun is dressed and probably thinks the King of Korea just arrived. Which he, in fact, did, but that’s beside the point. 

You sit at the very back and get comfortable after breaking your last sweat. An enthusiastic Luigi presents to you the latest ‚delicious couple menu options’ and promises to use the best toppings he can offer. You instantly trust him, Luigi has the most accurate mustache you’ve ever seen.

Baekhyun and you share a huge plate of the curiously named ‚Pizza Puppy Love‘  that might be better described as a circle-shaped late night gala buffet. You dig in because damn, fighting thugs makes hungry, and Baekhyun stuffs himself given how it’s his favorite meal. Luigi sees that you are avid eaters and way too busy looking at each other, so he disappears in the kitchen, proud of setting the mood just perfectly.

In the meantime, Baekhyun says that he thinks of hiring you as a sasaeng protection machine. You muse how the umbrella is sturdier than you thought and you wouldn’t hesitate to use it again now that you think about it. Being Baekhyun’s Jarvis is not a bad thought, actually. Beating up rascals for him is your newly discovered love language.

In fact: Whatever took over inside of you and made you lose your chill, Baekhyun is mighty curious about. He thinks that was very sexy. You get the feeling that this guy could like dangerous women. He might have picked that up from Taemin, credits to him.

After Baekhyun has dramatically recounted the umbrella incident at least five times, the conversation goes on about your embarrassing hiding stories, how hilariously over- and underdressed you are as a unit, and you teasing him about „speeding on the highway, are we“. Baekhyun teases you back about how you acted like his manager with your trench coat over his head. He kind of has a point and you call it a tie.

Seeing Baekhyun all full with his beloved pizza and acting so carefree in his Oscar suit is a cute sight. You take the liberty to cut a particularly large slice out of the puppy pizza UFO and feed him. 

If it’s a couple menu, you gotta act like it.

Baekhyun is making some mighty heart eyes at you, and so — you decide to take it a little further. This whole fight thing made you forget you’re on a goddamn date after… a whole year of eyefucking and that it’s about time to close the gap.

Luigi is wholly busy making order in the kitchen and Baekhyun has some tomato sauce stuck at the side of his mouth. Convenient. You take the chance to wipe it off with the tip of your right digit. 

He realizes what you’re doing and promptly grabs your hand to keep it right where it is. Uh-oh. His tongue darts out, he licks right across your finger. To top it off, he starts to suck it, too. With a typical nonchalance. Seeing how you almost combust, he takes another finger into his hot mouth. And sucks a little more. His lipstick smudges onto your hand. His eyes are like hot coals and the pupils are all blown. Oh my, my, my. 

If you’re just playing, don’t you ever give Baekhyun anything to escalate on like that, ever. The way you were ready to knock down the seven guys, he is ready to get physical once the first step is done. Though, the thing is. You’re not playing. It’s exactly the type of fodder that you’ve been craving to give him. Baekhyun’s oral fixation is something else.

The rest of the pizza is gone in five minutes…

…and Luigi gets the tip of his life.

You walk to the car in much faster steps than before. Even if it’s later than late, nobody is around anymore except a sleeping beggar on the other side of the station. No danger in sight whatsoever. There’s a different reason to get going like that this time and there’s no way you can mentally prepare yourself for what’s coming.

Back to the fish restaurant, back to the car spa. Nobody on the streets, anywhere. This night, Baekhyun does not feel even remotely tired, though.

After you put your umbrella in the trunk — you will honor it much more from now on — the driver’s and passenger’s seat stay empty for half an hour and a little more. Now, the actual stereo is on. There’s a lot to catch up with on the backseat.

Baekhyun puts Delight on repeat, and queues City Lights just because. Guy knows what good music and singing sounds like. You interlock hands and call him pretty. Baekhyun is flustered, but all the more eager. 

It takes barely a minute until you get serious with making out on top of him and grind on his lap like the world ends. The satiny fabric is too tempting not to gyrate all over it in your jeans. Lord knows his legs are great. You know what you signed up for. Those thighs are so delicious to straddle, you can’t even imagine. 

Baekhyun gazes at you so intently and ready, whispering his little you-can-do-anythings and tell-me-all-you-wants, it’s like magic.

To top it off, kissing his little pouty lips has got to be the best thing, running your hands through his sexy hair — even more so. Your mouth and fingers have been begging you to do this. Begging. 

From there, your hands go places. His neatly razored nape of the neck, his waist, the chest. His suit, all that expensive fabric, his gentle skin, it’s so nice to the touch. He smells so hot. Bergamot, cinnamon, and sweet, deep, rich and soothing sandalwood. „Girl, I’m your Candy“ gets a whole new meaning. Practice room memories. As if you aren’t wet enough already. 

By the last minute of the second track, Baekhyun is already hooked kissing your neck and does some very daring acrobatics with his tongue. And you thought the pizza would satiate him. Nope, he eats you up like a whole salad bowl of black bean noodles with three pounds kimchi and ten fried eggs stacked on top. In his own words I mean lyrics: Game over.

The desperation and nervosity adds even more sloppiness and hunger. These have got to be the lewdest slurping and sucking noises you’ve ever heard. You can’t help but curse the ugliest things. Something’s pretty damn hard through the front of his tux already. 

Baekhyun feels that you feel it and the kissing becomes even more frantic. His whole body says: Grind more. Please. Please.

By the time the fourth track starts, Baekhyun’s entirely wet mouth wanders upward. Here goes the French kissing madness. You glide your hips back and forth on his bulge, and his tongue is already winding inside of you like it’s advanced singing lessons. It’s so unreal that you have to grab hold of his upper arms to stay in place. Shit, this guy. 

You can tell that this… is his absolute forte. Nobody can fuck with Baekhyun when it comes to outrageous mouth and throat technique. Your tongue gets a sense of how confident he is in his lip service and works his way into it. Now you know how it feels when Byun Baekhyun pays back your attention. Holy Luigi’s Cannoli, he has so much fun. Way, way too much fun. Like Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

And that’s the last damn straw. Really, the last one. You can’t do this shit anymore. You ask for condoms. 

After freezing up for at least ten seconds, he nods his little head about ten times in a row. It’s as if he can’t actually believe it and didn’t just kiss the shit out of you with the hardest dick in history.

„Okay, I’ll—“

Baekhyun keeps them in a yellow puppy-shaped bag under the driver’s seat and takes three torturous minutes to get them from there since it’s underneath and behind other random things. Which means you get to look at his ass for said time because he is bent forward between the two front seats. It’s not like you’ve never seen Baekhyun from behind, but never this close nor in a suit as tight since he usually wears baggy things. So. He’s not just big in the front, then. For his build? That is Korea’s ass.

And the condoms? You expected they were in his tote or his suit within one reach and rip. Nope, Baekhyun did not leave the company building with intentions. He’s been managing this raging boner for a whole year and did not make any moves on you in his apartment where he could have had you on any available surface in two minutes. Baekhyun wasn’t close to even remotely ask for literally anything. He just sat there on the couch with restless legs, ruffled hair, and an open mouth while hearing you talk. You don’t want to imagine how intensely he must have gotten off. Which he, in fact, did. 

He didn’t deliberately plan sex in a specific place for the first date either. Instead, he was prepared for— what exactly? A slight eventuality? Now that you think about it: Going by how he dressed himself, what Baekhyun probably thought he could get out of this was: A compliment. Even if all of your evening visits were nothing but hardcore sexual tension and this was the chance to bring that to an end. Let that sink in.

This guy’s self-control is not only astronomical, but also completely astounding given his usual character. In fact, you thought he would be entirely sovereign with this. How could he not? He’s Baekhyun!

Going by all that… You conclude that Baekhyun must really feel like he does not deserve you. His shame and self-denial must go through the roof. Given how his deeper insecurities have been in plain sight, it actually makes sense. Looks like you’re the one bringing them out, whatever it is that you do. It’s pretty tough knowing that you rouse something as vulnerable in him but it’s as good as it is bad. You find him very brave and incredible for letting it show. Honestly? It’s better than pushing through all of this pretending.

Plus — You really must have given him the impression that he can look but not ever touch. While that’s the entire opposite of what you want. 

To be fair: Having Baekhyun openly touch you in the company would have been a dangerous act. Even more so than say, you touching him, (which would have been somewhat possible, look at stylists and managers casually or work-relatedly doing skinship). Because that means that the availability his profession suggests to the world is no longer a thing and his mind is set on one person. Which, in his field, is social death. 

That’s why Baekhyun could only ever touch you by virtue of circumstances and whatever higher forces arranging accidents where he bumped into you. Talk about indirect ways. The universe gave you what you wanted, but in a way where there was always the excuse of bad luck and no possibility of other people finding out about your feelings. Risky love breeds risky circumstances.

The same with showing his body or knocking at your door to get your attention. He knows he can’t do that, can’t ask for it. So what happens? You accidentally walk in on him, or he crashes against your office entrance after slipping.

The same with treating you, spending time together, getting taken care of by you. Baekhyun found himself wishing for it. So it happened that you spilled your fries and he bought them for you all over, and he was begging for fried noodles so the opportunity to meet surprisingly came about. The accidents themselves both of you didn’t want nor deliberately stage, but you very much wanted the results of them. Directly you could not express your feelings, not even Baekhyun. That’s how it all came to be and now you see just how much he wants to be close to you in so many ways.

That he feels ashamed and undeserving — that shocks the living hell out of you. 

So, all right then, keeper. Time to show you otherwise. 

It’s crazy how he thinks you’re the one off limits and not him. Then again, he’s not the guy with the savage umbrella technique.

Since his hand is too shaky, you slip one on him and start to ride him without any further ado. You’re already leaking so what’s left to fiddle around about. No wasting any time here. 

The deal is as good as sealed. He feels fucking great inside of you and his wide eyes are the most rewarding thing. Whatever dimension Baekhyun just broke through, the level of whipped is not possible to be described with any human words. His hands are roaming over you pretty much without aim, you can tell your body is too much for him.

After he’s begging you to do it roughly, you grab him by the collar and fuck his soul out until he’s all gasping because his dick hurts. The song’s called Are You Ridin’ with good reason.

Baekhyun’s brains are long screwed out at this point, if not reduced to absolute green and purple jello. Is there actually any mind to lose at this point after you had your fingers in his mouth? Like literally, his favorite thing? Probably not. 

He bites down into his sleeve. Baekhyun is all knocked out by you by the time you get to your second orgasm, and reclines on the backseat bench to starfish the rest of the thing with his mouth hanging open at you. Hormone overload. His entire body shut down except the will to keep it up and not come. Yum, he is fit. Where he takes that godly strength from, only higher powers can tell. The Tree of Life, Zeus, Ten Chittaphon, I don’t know. 

He just has the kind of dick you can really bounce on. Really. Fucking. Hard. You are one spark of insanity close to run on autopilot. I don’t think anybody’s growled like this on him before. Nor was Baekhyun’s cock this close to falling right off, ever. 

This is not sex, it’s a crazy as fuck pounding, with Baekhyun on the verge of being blacked out with drool on his chin and his eyes rolling back. His fingers are absentmindedly trailing down your upper back and all he can utter is a small, yearning „please, please“ and gritting „don’t stop, please don’t stop…“ between his teeth. And hell, you have not a single reason to. Cue Captain America, I can do this all day.

When other people say smashing, whatever they’re referring to is not as smash as this. This must be the dirtiest, wettest slapping noise you’ve ever heard, and Baekhyun’s entirely uncontrolled moans will be forever etched into your memory. So melodic, so goddamn excited and desperate and all fucked out. He’s groaning so well, it’s like it’s meant for you.

By the third time you come, he’s crying and whining and has to cover his mouth not to scream out loud. You have no idea what your body is doing, but whatever it is, it’s taking Baekhyun out. Even you tire after some time, but you keep going. You imagine that every thrust is the meal and attention you wanna give to him.

That’s a lot of fucking and edging you get done in half an hour. Baekhyun’s tongue is hanging out afterwards and you went through a whopping three condoms. So much frustration finally released. Baekhyun’s gonna be emptier than Suho’s wallet after Sehun ordered a lifetime supply of bubble tea. 

You squarely avoid oozing your own cum onto his backseat with one hand. Good lord that creampie would ruin everything if he didn’t wear a condom. You’ve come a long way since colliding in the cafeteria, not gonna lie.

And thank God you’re not fucking somewhere in the company and the Audi is close to soundproof because this guy is LOUD. You need some good eardrums to handle these moans. Unhinged is an understatement. If this becomes a contest outwhoring each other, he’d win by a landslide. 

By the time you slip off, Baekhyun is on the verge to the dreamland, you milked every last drop out of him. Which means… 

…you get to drive an expensive as fuck Audi through Seoul. Your beatdown with the tube thugs you try to refrain from boasting about, but this one you are tempted to brag about to yourself for the next week. Well, in your mind. Just a little bit. It’s a great car. And you feel giddy in your body all over. That’s what sex with Baekhyun does to you. 

Seoul traffic is tame around this time. Half in his sleep, Baekhyun hums and sings on the driver’s seat. He’s all sober, but you made the guy act a lil’ drunk, huh. In his element, he talks and talks and talks and talks a little more. Then, does his tiny 'ㅅ' pup face and dozes for half the ride. Sleeping angel hours.

You can’t really scold him for passing out so fast in the slightest. As always, he went who knows how many extra miles just for you. That includes vowing to hand-wash his Oscars suit because it’s fucking ruined. Since the stylists are guaranteed to flame him, you send the fashion department a message how Baekhyun has to wear a different suit because he’s simply too dummy thick for this one, especially as far as the pants are concerned. Which is almost no lie and they will believe you. 

Much like his name suggests, Baekhyun does go hundred. At his apartment, you basically have to carry him into the bedroom. He says he doesn’t want to sleep. But you won’t kiss him goodnight after you pull off your jacket without a strong word on how his health has to be priority. He gets the point when you say you wouldn’t have had a first date without Baekhyun dozing off before your evening visit.

Sweet baby Jesus, you’d still be awkwardly slurping noodles without Baekhyun’s faux pas. If you look back at it: It’s all a story of accidents that turn out beautiful.

Sleep being Baekhyun’s reset button, that’s the best thing to do in order to give the night a good conclusion. Being alone in his apartment together, you don’t have to discreet about sleeping next to him after setting the alarm clock.

Mark Lee’s piping hot Americano is the culprit for all of this, but you thank him.

----

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#exo smut #baekhyun smut #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun hc #baekhyun headcanon #baekhyun imagine #baekhyun #exo imagine #exo scenario #exo hc #baekhyun scenario #exo headcanon #baekhyun reaction #bbh #baekhyun angst #baekhyun crack

[nerdynuala]

hc/ oneshot of levi coaching hanji bc they were about to fight w the mp bc someone was making fun of them?

First off, I'm so so sorry anon I really took my sweet time with this one.

The thing is I don't usually write anything beside very random headcanons when inspiration hits lol

I've been debating whether to try this or redirect you to a fanfic writer's blog since I'm not confident about my writing and my English is kinda rubbish imo.

But yeah, in the end I gave it a try. Also, sorry Anon but I'm not sure if I got exactly what you were asking for, and I went full MP huge fight mode. And it's kinda turned into vets stuff. I still suggest you ask a writer to do this, there's many cool blogs out there who can do a much better job in half the time lol

Anyway, if you wanna read my poor attempt at writing, here it is.

Warning: just some swearing, she/her pronouns for Hange

"Look, if it isn't the crazy bitch from the Survey Corps" a man with a raspy voice barked.

Hange dreaded those meetings with the MPs, no one in the Survey Corps could stand them, to be honest, but still, they had to put up the façade and feign some civil behaviour for the sake of the Scouts and the funding. Hange was well aware she had trouble controlling her temper most of the times, and experience taught her that she couldn't stand the Military Police talking badly about her comrades.

She knew that Levi and herself together managed to make a few scenes before, and Erwin particularly stressed it every time before one of these meetings. "And please, please I beg all of you to refrain from making scenes or even talking back to anyone. We're there to make a good impression, we need funds and fo heaven's sake the last thing we need is for them to have an excuse to think even less of us and undermine our funds" he said every time, with a pointed look directed at Levi and Hange.

She turned and stared right at the Military Police man who was talking about her. She smiled and waved, "Yes, that would be me, it's a pleasure to meet you!".

Levi snorted at the facial expression the idiot made. He hoped that Hange brushing him off like that would settle it, but he had been to enough meetings to know it wasn't over at all.

"She probably didn't score high enough to get into the good Corps. That's what they do isn't it?" the man nudged a colleague in the chest, gesturing towards Hange.

"Aye, scoring shit and then ending up in some titan's mouth. They're replaceable anyway" the pug-faced man joined the teasing.

Levi could sense Hange tense next to him. He knew what she felt, he loathed hearing comments about his comrades just as much as she did.

She laughed it off, though. "Maan I would love to watch the insides of a Titan! What do we have to lose? Another cadet will score shit and they can take my place. Unless some of you feel the thrill of bravery once in your life and decide to join" she shrugged. "Who knows".

Levi knew this could only get worse. He tugged her sleeve. "Hange, come, let's join Mike and Erwin".

"My, my, if it isn't humanity strongest!"

"The underground scum you mean"

"No, no, he's a hero now, isn't he? Should've been thrown to prison and was rescued by Smith like a fucking stray dog"

Both men laughed, while others were gathering around.

"Shut the fuck up all of you!" Levi admitted to himself he would have snapped just like that, but Hange had anticipated him. His eyes went slightly wide for a moment, but then his lips briefly curled up in a small smirk upon seeing the fervor in Hange's brown orbs.

He would have loved to join her and teach a lesson to those morons, sure, but they promised Erwin.

He tugged again at her sleeve. "Oi, it's not worth our time, let's go".

The MPs laughed. "Only thing that's worth the time or your sorts is getting minced up by some stinky titan's mouth".

Hange tensed and she opened her mouth to strike back, but Levi gently made her turn to face him.

"Let's not get into trouble", he said, staring directly in her eyes.

"But Levi you should-"

"Yeah I want to break their fucking noses as much as you do. But we promised Erwin" he tugged once more.

The MPs laughed again, louder this time.

"Erwin Fucking Smith keeping his lapdogs tamed!" roared the pug-faced one.

"No wonder he needs to tame them" laughed another one with an annoying high-pitched voice, "look at the kind of lapdogs he got himself! One's a nutcase eager to step into a Titan's mouth, the other one is a pint-sized thug fetched straight from the filthy undergound" they all laughed. "I think we're missing one..." he feigned thinking hard, with a hand on his chin.

"What did you expect from the Survey Corps and Fucking Smith? That's the best he could get, to be fair" a black-haired man joined them.

"Not that he particularly cares..." he added with an unpleasant smirk "these are just chunks of meat he is more than willing to feed to titans, anyway".

That was it. That was just what drove Hange over the top and Levi knew it. He could feel her clenching her fist under his hand, he felt her muscles tremble. He looked at her, she was clenching her jaw, a fiery light in her eyes, cheeks slightly flushed. She briefly looked at him, and he didn't need words of any sorts. He let go of her arm and nodded.

Hange launched herself at the black-haired man and punched him on the jaw.

Everyone was shocked.

"Do you idiots have anything else to say?" She challenged them. "You can talk shit about me all you want, I don't give a damn, but show some respect to my comrades, people willing to DIE for your fat asses"

Levi watched her. She was scary, definitely scary when angry. He briefly smirked to himself, she had used one of the moves he taught her while sparring.

She suddenly grabbed the collar of the pug-faced man. She lifted her fist and the man flinched.

Levi approached her but he just glared at the MPs. "I won't restrain her, you called it".

He turned towards Hange. "If you punch him in the nose like I thaught you, you'll knock him out and fuck him up, but not enough to kill him".

"I know" she growled, but she clearly was trying to control her impulse to strike him.

The man had the courage to smirk. "Did Smith manage to tame the thug but not this nutcase of a weirdo?".

Hange hit him on front of his nose with the heel of her palm. He passed out instantly.

It was chaos, the other two men launched themselves against Hange. Levi announced "I've got your back, Hange" and the fight started getting bad. Levi's eyes were checking Hange all the time, he knew she could handle it but he resolved he would avoid risking her getting hurt.

Erwin, across the enourmous room, paled. He heard shouting and suddenly a group of people were hitting each other. Levi and Hange had been gone for a while, and he had a gut feeling they were right in the middle of it.

He was speaking to an important old man who may just want to fund the Corps if he worked him correctly, he couldn't leave him. Not now. Erwin subtly excused himself and fetched Mike, without getting more than two steps away from the man.

"Stop them" he whispered close to his ear.

Mike's eyes travelled to the corner of the room and took notice of the fight. He didn't see Hange and Levi since there were a lot of people gathered around, but he didn't need to see them to know they were there.

He stared at Erwin. "The two of them?" he whispered back, "You think I can stop the two of them? Are you nuts?".

"Just do something, please. I can't leave this one, he's going to fund us with some good amount of money" he clapped Mike's shoulder.

Mike sighed. "Fine" he said, murmuring something along the lines of "wish me luck" while he made his way to fetch his friends.

He sure had to admit he didn't think it was this bad. Hange was clearly having the upper hand and she was the one who was hitting the most.

He grabbed her from behind and lifted her up, gesturing to Levi to stop the fight and keep the opponents away. She kicked around and ended up elbowing him on the temple.

"Fuck" he hissed, gripping her waist tighter "Hange stop! It's me!".

Suddenly, Levi was on his side.

"Let go, Mike, I'll show them" Hange was struggling to get out of his arms, hitting him in the process.

"Levi do something! What the hell" he hissed again, getting frustrated.

Levi caught Hange's wrist and she looked at him. "That's enough, Hange" he said calmly and she sighed and tried calming down.

Hange's gaze lingered on the mess she and Levi made. Well, it was mostly Hange's doing.

Feeling her relax in his arms, Mike released her and let her again on the floor.

"Erwin's gonna kill the both of you" he looked around. His eyes stopping and widening as he took notice of the limp man on the floor, two of the MPs were lightly slapping his cheek. "Is he-?"

"Just passed out" Levi interrupted.

Mike sighed and rubbed a hand on his face.

"There's the lapdog we were missing" the man with the high-pitched voice chimed up. "The sniffing weirdo".

Mike smirked. He put a big hand on Hange's shoulder and turned her aroun. "Let's go, Hange. Levi" Levi nodded and started to follow him, when the man with the black hair spoke up again.

"I've always thought he is involved with Smith"

Mike laughed. "I sure love that man, but I don't think the nature of our relationship is any concern of yours"

"That explains why he's been around for so long. Smith doesn't want to feed him to a titan like the fucking rest of these idiots"

Hange turned around vehemetly, but Levi stopped her before she could speak. "That's enough, Hange, they weren't even worth our time to begin with" he said in merely more than a whisper.

Mike stopped in his tracks.

"I'll have you idiots know he's been around for so long because he's fucking capable of staying alive and keep his squad alive. I'd love to see some of you out there" Mike was surprised Levi interjected to defend him, but the insults towards his capability wasn't really what had bothered him.

"Listen here" he said, turning around to face them. "You can say all the shit you want about myself, but not a word about my friends or Erwin for that matter-"

They laughed. "Isn't it funny how they fucking defend him and the coward is just throwing them to their deaths instead?". The black-haired man roared with laughter "Fucking idiots".

Without warning, Mike punched one in the face and Hange punched the other on the nose, the loud crack all too telling as to what happened to the bones.

Mike sighed. "I guess Erwin can't kill the three of us in one go".

Levi walked closer to Hange. "You okay?".

She nodded and stared at him. "Thanks for trying to stop me. And for understanding I didn't-"

"Want to be stopped" he finished for her. "I get it. I'll always have your back, Hange, but let's be more careful next time. They weren't worth it and I don't want to risk you getting hurt".

She smiled. "I got carried away, but you saw I actually learned your moves?"

Levi smiled. "Yeah, we should work on them".

She nudged his arm "That's not true, they were perfect and you know it".

"Yes, they were perfect".

#ask box #prompt #sorry anon this took so long #and it's not even good lmao #poor writing #i tried #levihan #vets #mike zacharias #erwin Smith #i had to insert them because i love them too much

[fanficsandfluff]

The Snyder Cut: Headcanons (mostly of the tickly nature)

Bruce Wayne (Batman) ~ Batfleck, my love

He’s such a lover boy, and I can say that though I don’t exactly know how to explain what I mean. You just gotta understand.

He cares so strongly about EVERYONE. e v e r y o n e. Alfred, fucking loves the guy, jokes with him. The fucking “This is Alfred, I work for him.” MY MAN, STOP!

I think he just really wants to get along with everyone and wants everyone to get along in general.

But he lowkey crushes on Diana (at least in his mind, he’s keeping it lowkey, but we all see what’s happening)

I love the idea of this big hunk of a man getting soft with someone like Diana. 

She makes him genuinely laugh this one time by saying something funny, and then they’re both laughing together. 

Bruce definitely has one of those laughs where he throws his head back and shit and you can see his like Adam’s apple bobbing and everything.

But that’s if he’s really laughing.

And he has loud “HA”’s that are like really short but loud and then he kinda just snickers to himself for a while, holding his stomach.

And dude, the scene in freaking uhh… i think it’s BvS I’m not 100% (maybe i fucking imagined it who knows) where she like comes over to him and is fixing his wound….. tickle scenario hand picked from the gods right there

I can see a whole, “Woah!” from Bruce when Diana traces her fingers on some sensitive skin. And that Gal Godot smile is on her in an INSTANT. 

Bruce will laugh if he’s with the right person. Like I headcanon that if he’s being tickled, he will laugh if it’s done by Diana or Barry, then like he’ll be forced to laugh if it’s Clark bc he overpowers the poor bat, but then he just has these hilarious bouts of angry growls and chuckles if Arthur is going after him. 

I can’t even write about Batfleck being a ler because I will literally explode, so I’m done here 

(((((butseriouslyifanyonewantstotalklerbatfleckwithmehmuplz)))))

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) 

I know the GIF isn’t from ZSJL but just let me live, ok? (Also I couldn’t find the one of Gal wiggling her fingers YOU KNOW THE ONE I’M TALKING ABOUT)

First off, Gal is the most horrible queen of giggles. I’ve seen those blooper reels. My god, girl, how do you keep getting hired?

SHE HAS SUCH A BIG SMILE IT’S LIKE THE ROCK IDK HOW THEIR TEETH AND MOUTH GET SO WIDE LOOKING

Diana will start tickle fights without a doubt.

She’s already very trustful and I also feel pretty handsy with people, especially those she may feel close to. So if she’s playful, you best watch out.

Her favorite targets are Bruce and Barry. I will not take criticism. Diana attacking Barry and reducing him to panicky shrieky laughs is my #1 thought. It’s not even living rent free, I’m commissioning it to be there.

Diana is one to laugh with her victims. She will wreck them and have a great time doing so. 

She’ll be ticklish if she wants to be, but it isn’t often she gets pinned and tickled or anything like that.

The guys try to stay away from her or not go after her with tickles for fear of retaliation.

AQUAMAN, CYBORG, SUPERMAN, AND THE FLASH UNDER THE CUT

Arthur Curry (Aquaman)

So…. my man isn’t really ticklish. I really don’t think he is, I feel like his Atlantean genes make his skin a special kind of hard, if that makes sense?

THAT BEING SAID ARTHUR IS THE BIGGEST LER OMGGG

He’ll try and act all cool and ‘whatever’ around the League cuz that’s kind of his persona.

But he slowly gets to like them more and more and his playful side starts to come out.

He’ll tickle Barry out of pure annoyance. Like if Barry makes any kind of comment, he’ll just point his finger out and get that glint in his eye and Barry is sprinting for the hills.

Here’s my favorite headcanon: Arthur will tickle Bruce because he knows it pisses him off when he does it. Bruce will fight back and keep Arthur in his sights at all time and curse and growl at him. And Arthur thinks it’s hilarious.

Arthur as a ler will taunt and tease until the cows come home

“Huh, big guy? What’s that? Ahawww that’s what I thought!... Not so fast/tough/etc. now!... I will wreck you.”

Victor Stone (Cyborg)

Unfortunately… not ticklish. :(

But this boy has the sweetest laugh you will ever hear, and I will die on that hill. 

Now that he has friends (superpowered friends, no less), he can slowly come alive and be himself. 

I can see Victor not getting involved in tickle fights at first, but at a certain point he’ll be all like, “Okay, step aside so we can do this right” and just PIN THE SHIT OUT OF WHOEVER IS BEING TICKLED. His extra robot arms are killer!

Okay, when he laughs for the first time in front of the group, there’s that cliche moment of pause where everything stops and everyone just stares and listens to him. It’s so rare to hear him laugh because the poor kid barely even smiled around them in the beginning. 

He SMIRKS

Now hear me out on this…

Okay, so half a face. Great. Weird. We love it. But you can see all of mischievous Victor when the guy SMIRKS. You see his eye squint and you can swear his robot eye gets a gleam of a different color. 

Wait honestly as I was writing that, the thought of Victor’s eye and like his apparatus changing color based on his mood is golden.

Me sitting here, lowkey wishing Victor’s robot body had some kind of cuddly mode like Baymax lmfaoooo 

Like the defense mode his body went into when he was around resurrected Supes, but for cuddles and being cute.

Clark Kent (Superman)

I was debating even including any headcanons for Superman bc I don’t care about him much, honestly.

I am v happy they kept in the whole ‘him staring at Flash through the speed storm’ scene bc I laughed so hard at that the first time i saw Josstice League in the theater. 

Also I didn’t really like the black superman costume??? I’m not a comic buff, so I’m assuming that’s why. I am like the one person who missed the color from the Josstice League cut. Don’t miss the stupid red sky in the finale, but I miss every other ounce of color that was just SUCKED right out of the Snyder Cut.

Clark and Bruce are besties now, I don’t make the rules. Bruce bought the man his house back. By buying the bank. He’ll take care of him.

And I’ve always simped for those two ever since BvS, bc I’ve already written like two fics where they tickle each other. 

Clark overpowering Bruce to tickle the shit out of him makes me so happy lol. Big strong boy Batfleck looking thiccc over here… but put him against Superman and he’s donezo. Because as mentioned earlier, I do think Bruce is pretty ticklish. 

But Clark can have his lee side when he’s feeling nice

He’s got that mighty chuckle, almost like how Thor might laugh. 

And he really likes getting involved in tickle fights with the League. He knows all of them are sorta afraid of him on the daily anyway, but have that power added to a tickle fight and it’s fun as hell. 

He’s gotten taken down by them ONCE. And I mean exactly (1) O N C E.

They all teamed up. Bing, bang, boom. Pinned him to the floor and they each took an area of skin and fucking SQUEEZED AND WIGGLED. They were trying to incapacitate him as quickly as possible. And dangummit, he laughed a lot! Like Clark realized just how ticklish he could feel if he wanted to feel it. 

And don’t even get me started on Lois, he’s big on getting her to giggle and she likes toying with him and running her hands all over his body (bc who wouldn’t?)

Barry Allen (The Flash)

I waited to write about Barry last because I have so much to say about this character....

and then I fell asleep and waited until the next day to write anything down about him so now I’m totally not in the mood and I forgot all the salient points I was planning on making.

fuck you, michelle.

I got a weird relationship with this character. He was mad annoying in the Josstice League. Thank goodness they trimmed his bad jokes down.

But now....

when he got hurt at the end and he was like crying and shit oh my god I wanted to hug him

His character got so... good

And I’m now at the right age where I can think about myself in a relationship with this character with no changes or shame

We both out here trying to find that one good job after college and everything

BARRY JUST WANTS FRIENDS, GUYS

HE’S THAT CUTE

And then he got this whole found family schtick with the Justice League!!! Lookit him!!! Thriving!

He has total little brother energy

like, pesky little brother. Bothers everyone, looks over people’s shoulders while they’re deep in thought or concentrating on something.

Asks a lot of questions.

All the more reason for the gang to want to tickle the shit out of him.

Barry just reads like a super ticklish lee. Like his whole character.

Maybe touch starved because he said he needed friends, and I don’t think he has siblings??? (sorry if i’m wrong about that, comic fans)

I already named some of my fav headcanons about him getting tickled by like Diana and such, and I’m sticking with it.

Barry does flee. He runs away with super speed.... but sometimes he just kinda wants the tickles so he lets them have at him. 

The chase is all part of the fun with tickling Barry, though. That’s what makes it so entertaining. And Barry isn’t afraid to be a little shit about it either. He will super-speed around his pursuers and poke their sides and tickle them back really quickly before they even know what’s happening. 

Barry doesn’t exactly hold back his laughter lol. He’ll protest and scream and squirm like crazy, but once he’s actually tickled, he loses it.

Pure boy. With funny ass facial expressions.

And it really doesn’t help that I never realized just how hot Ezra Miller is, even though I heard he’s not a great person irl. Oh well.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

Please please let me know if y’all have things to add, to squee over, to question me about... please. anything. i’m here for you. thanks for reading, guys!

#snyder cut #the snyder cut #zack snyder's justice league #zs justice league #zsjl #batman #aquaman #wonder woman #cyborg #the flash #superman #bruce wayne #arthur curry #diana prince #victor stone #barry allen #clark kent #tickle headcanons #batman tickle headcanons #wonder woman tickle headcanons #aquaman tickle headcanons #the flash tickle headcanons #cyborg tickle headcanons #superman tickle headcanons

[redxblueihateloveyou]

1/2 "Explore the fuck was that" Xiaoge is not Xiaoge and talking is not the problem here. It's literally everything thats the problem. Also like you I've also read all the books, but failed to put into words why Xiao Yu Liang's and Huang Jun Jie's Qilings didn't give me any divergence from the original character despite the changes, while others did and pretty drastically. I thought it was a bit irrational on my part, but you just sorted it all out so effortlessly I'm a bit jealous

Lol I said the exact same thing, the talking and the phone was not a problem as some say, he has a phone in the book too at some point and talks more than you'd actually think, it's just that literally nothing about him is Zhang Qiling. Literally not one vibe or even tiny feeling. I don't know how that happened honestly.

AAAAAAAAA I saw the smile comments too lmao. I was like who's gonna tell them. Not only he smiles, he's full on laughing in the 2nd book already, when Wu Xie is using his spit as a lotion lmao. And Wu Xie was so happy about, he was like "I saw him smile before, but it was always so bitter and cold, this was the first time he smiled genuinely, he just needs to spend more time with him, we'll get him there" T_T Before that his smiling was legit a bit scary tho, sometimes brash, like when he told him about the stairs and he went "oh really?" haha

I thought about it and I honestly have no idea about the reference point for some people. I think maybe they go from that first adaptation? Maybe they think it's how he is in the book? Idk. It just weirds me out that I feel like some created some their own picture in their head and then judge everything from there throwing "thats ooc" left and right. Like this "Xiao Ge doesn't smile thing". Maybe it's because of the "Poker-face" thing, but do they know that "Men You Ping" doesn't actually mean that, it was just the closest thing you could come up with with english alternative to keep the nickname short (like I doubt it would read well if he kept calling him a bottle xD). Like according to Wu Xie since the very first book, his hubby can't even lie, so he's definitely not a poker face at all. He also gets pissed pretty easily and he likes to fool around sometimes too (like troll Wu Xie and Fatty obviously).

He's also not emo and not the "mysterious hero from some romance", not a stone and not a zooty. I don't know where this all came from tbh.

I can really debate 24/7 about this, but they're 100% Qilings, just slightly changed and softened accordingly to what they'd be like at this point of their relationship, if he did write it in (and I'm like pretty sure I'm right about this). It's the way they behave, how they act in certain situations, how they're with Wu Xie, how they're with other people, the right amount of sass and being done with everything, just the overall picture, the "you're an idiot, but you're my whole world". But also you know, that strange feeling that Wu Xie describes, like "when he's there, everything is suddenly alright" lol (just the magical safety vibe esp in SOP). I literally don't know how ppl who read the whole thing watched them and thought "thats not right". It's the fucking overall feeling of.. yes, i'm watching Zhang Qiling.

Just change the book's impending doom of tragical "you're my whole world, but I can't stay and there's no way for this to work" to "we actually have a future and I want to stay in our home with you" and that's basically Yuliang's and Junjie's versions (one on the way, one fully there by the end). But even if for some reason you can't accept this, I still don't get how some could hate it, cause overall they still have basically everything they need. Unlike others who are way off in my opinion, bc of the weird templates they are.

And about "Explore the fuck was that" (lol I'm gonna use this title from now on) seriously, no offense to this creation and everyone who liked it (no judging here for real, everyone likes what they like), I'm not gonna heavily diss anyone or anything, I don't really care for the thing, just telling the truth. No one who's participated in this thing have a fucking idea about the characters they're playing or writing about.

I mean, as a fan many things that were adapted from books, I already do not care for minor divergence or even bigger once, if it makes sense and you see the care and understanding of the characters, but sadly here it felt like no one cared. Like for example honestly if someone asked me what would you choose "watching wu xie and xiao ge but not 100% sticking to the plot" or "loosely watching the plot, but it's not wu xie and xiao ge", I'm gonna pick the first option.

And some will say that's it's only the writers/directors mistakes for not explaining or guiding actors etc, but to be honest it's not completely true, bc as we know many actors if they really care before taking on the role actually try to do a research about the character and read the material to understand what they're playing. Especially if it's such iconic characters of a franchise Сhina's been going crazy over for like a decade.

Like how the hell happened that Zhu Yilong for example while playing embodied all the Wu Xie's traits througout the whole book series from behaving exactly like young Wu Xie did in certain needed parts to going to the cold, strategic and rational old self in others, I mean, they could've just go with the "Restart" one, where not much happens and he could've played just that. But literally each time he did something, I was like "yeah, that's my boo". And that wasn't the part of this exact book, it was part of Wu Xie. Like the way he behaved, acted in some previous situations that you know its him. That's happening only when the actor knows who he's portraying.

Or Yuliang knowing and loving and feeling the character he plays, because he wanted to know and cared.

It's just strange to me, bc if they're not making it for the fans, then for whom do they even make it? For themselves? It's really stupid no matter how you look at it. Like your success depends on it, so what's the point in sinking your own ship I will never get.

I also do not get how could they just fail literally everything. Like casting was a miss already, but good acting and chemistry and putting character's soul in it could've make it great still, but they have literally none of anything, it's just fascinating to me. I just don't think I ever seen something like that, it's kinda funny.

But this is like once again just my opinion. Like everyone is free to think what they think, but maybe just stop yelling "OOC" without knowing the original character, cause maybe it's not really OOC. Like book Xiao Ge is not exactly what many ppl claim him to be really.

#answered #anonymous #zhang qiling #daomu biji #dmbj #lost tomb #wu xie #explore what the fuck was that lmfaaaao #pingxie #ultimate note #heavenly palace #explore with the note #lost tomb reboot