#and it's a huge hassle to set up a dr appointment and i bet the wait is even longer than usual rn AND i've heard ppl saying a professional

[bisexualmaedhros]

i am constantly trying to figure out whether i am autistic or if my adhd and ocd just interact with each other in a very specific way that makes me relate to certain autistic things

#i am SO FRUSTRATED!!! #i talked to my therapist about it and her answer was vague as FUCK #but i hate bringing that stuff up bc i feel like the adults in my life just think i'm doing it for attention #i sent info to my parents and said i related a lot to many things (esp lesser talked about symptoms like hyperempathy) #but they were like ''idk it doesn't rlly sound like u to us but ofc u know urself best :-)'' #but like NO!!! I DON'T!!! I DON'T KNOW EHO I AM I CAN'T TRUST MY OWN BRAIN TO BE ACCURATE THERE'S SO MUCH ROOM FOR BIAS! #BUT ALSO I DON'T FUCKING TALK TO MY PARENTS ABOUT HOW I /ACTUALLY/ SEE THINGS BC I FORGET THEY DON'T KNOW. SO THEY END UP NOT KNOWING! #but then i have no external record of Me and i have a terrible memory esp wrt emotions #BC THERE'S NOTHING TO PROVE THEM! THERE'S NO. THERE'S NO HARD EVIDENCE! WHAT IF I'M MISREMEMBERING WHAT IF I'M WRONG! #and it's a huge hassle to set up a dr appointment and i bet the wait is even longer than usual rn AND i've heard ppl saying a professional #autism dx can be really expensive but idk how to check how much it would be for me and i don't want to waste my parents' money and AAARGH #all the autism tests i've taken online i've scored pretty high but again that could just be Other Shit and ik those tests aren't very #accurate anyway! i mean one of those is how i decided to seek out my adhd dx #and i DEFINITELY have adhd lmao #but i just. ghrrg i hate this so much i just want something i can LOOK AT and see for SURE that i am something or i'm not i just want #something solid can people please stop telling me i know myself best i don't know jack shit #anyways #finielspeaks #sorry folks hdgdv