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#and it's always worse and more serious than mine so
comradejoanmir · 8 months
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stevesjockstrap · 4 months
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Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your dad?
Based on this post
Or, Steve invites Craigslist!Eddie to Thanksgiving as his fake boyfriend for entertainment and drama purposes
Rated: T? Always with the swearing idk | read on ao3
ETA a/n: shout out to @rocknrollsalad for a direct quote in here and putting up with me and @machtaholic for encouraging this 🖤
“Are you serious?”
Steve sighed. “Yes, Robbie. You know how much my parents have been on me since they’re losing what little power they have left. This is going to be awesome.”
She was pacing around their living room, making him anxious. “But why are you going to take this stranger from Craigslist? Why can’t you find someone you know? Argyle would do it. What if this guy doesn’t show, or he comes and steals something?”
“If he doesn’t show I’m in the same boat anyhow, but hey, there’s a thought. You think I can pay him more to steal something from my parents? I’d love to see that.”
“Steve!” She rounded on him, eyes wide. “You’re paying him? You didn’t tell me that!”
“For fuck’s sake, Rob. He didn’t ask for money, the post actually said he would do it just for food. But the guy’s driving half an hour and I’m willing to bet my family is worse than he’s expecting. Sit down, you’re making me dizzy. Read this and tell me this isn’t exactly what I need.” He scrolled on his phone and handed it to her.
Her shoulders relaxed as she read on, laughing finally, “You’re not going to make him propose or fight your dad on the front lawn, right?”
“Maybe for Christmas,” he smirked.
His parent’s house was always so cold and empty. It was his childhood home but he had never really felt any attachment to it. His apartment with Robin was small and cluttered but cozy, and full of memories of them and their friends. They had done a Friendsgiving the previous weekend that had been a dangerously good time. (The smoke detector had only gone off three times, a new record.)
Running his hand through his hair again, he looked at the clock. Would Eddie show? He checked his phone again, knowing there were no missed texts because he had just looked thirty seconds ago. Why was he more nervous about meeting him than introducing him to his family? They’d had one phone call and some texts, mostly arranging the time and place and Steve already apologizing for his family.
Eddie had laughed, “It’s okay, Steve. Trust me, I’ve dealt with worse.”
He went to the bathroom, just to kill time.
And of course the doorbell rang.
He quickly washed and dried his hands, sparing a second to pull his hair into a less raked-through mess.
Quickening his pace when he saw his mom still holding the door open, not allowing whoever was on the stoop in, he craned his neck to see out the door.
Oh fuck.
“If you’d just go get him, ma’am, we could clear this all up,” Eddie was saying. The words were polite but there was an edge to them, just the tinge of a sneer on his lips. It was perfect.
“He’s mine,” he heard himself say. His mom whipped around, eyes crazed and mouth open. “Uh- I mean,” his eyes returned to Eddie standing on his doorstep. Taking in the long thick wavy hair, big brown eyes, his lips pulled into a toothy grin now. He’d clearly attempted to dress up, grey slacks and a black button down, paired with heavy combat boots. The sleeves were rolled up to reveal tattoos up his forearms and the backs of his hands. There were more tattoos on his neck, and Steve’s eyes glued themselves to the ring through his lip. Guh. “He’s, uh, here for me.”
“Hi Steve,” he watched the lips form. “Was just meeting your lovely mother.” Again there was nothing wrong with the words themselves, nothing anyone could pinpoint or take offense to. But that slithery way he said it with a razor sharp sting, Steve was impressed. He was clearly an expert at this.
Steve tried to school his own expression and voice. “My apologies. Mom, this is Eddie, my boyfriend.”
There was a long silence where he thought his mom was going to combust. She opened and closed her mouth several times, her eyebrows furrowed. He’d never seen her speechless before.
Eddie sent him a smirk and he almost matched it but his mom looked at him finally and stammered, “Y-your, ah, I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes and pulled in a steadying breath. When she opened them she asked, “He’s your boyfriend?”
“Yes ma’am,” Eddie answered from almost behind her now as she turned to question Steve.
“And why is it you didn’t tell us he was coming? Why is he ringing the doorbell like a stranger?”
“I, um, well I did think he’d text when he got here or something…” Steve started, meeting Eddie’s eyes over her shoulder.
“What, and miss out on this warm welcome?” Eddie winked at him but quickly settled his face when his mom turned to him. Doing the exact thing he’d hoped for, Mrs. Harrington remembering she’s leaving a guest out on her doorstep.
Steve delighted in the fact that this was going to be a chess match and his mother was already several moves behind.
Her eyes narrowed and she held a hand out to welcome Eddie in, walking them all into the foyer. “Well, don’t let me stop you, go ahead and greet your boyfriend, Steven.”
It was a challenge, he knew, but they hadn’t discussed this. Eddie was on the ball, however. He continued his momentum to slide a hand under Steve’s suit jacket to settle on his ribs and the other he brought up to cup his face, leaning in and angling their heads together. Steve tried to relax and closed his eyes. Eddie pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, but from where his mom was standing she wouldn’t be able to tell.
“Hey, baby. Missed you,” he breathed when he pulled away. Steve was halfway to believing this himself.
“Yeah,” he sighed stupidly.
Eddie pulled his hands away and he almost reached back for them before stopping himself with a shake. He found he’d only gone a foot away when he opened his eyes though. Oh he was in trouble.
His mother cleared her throat from behind Eddie like she hadn’t put them up to this. Steve reached out for his hand and held onto it.
“Okay so I’m going to go introduce him to everyone else,” he said quickly and walked further into the house. Holding his hand.
They made their way through the dining room, Steve taking more and more pleasure with each stilted interaction Eddie weaved through with his family members.
His dad was propped in the living room with his uncle and Steve could feel his eyes on him as they made their way around. He knew his mother had ran to tell him all about it but he wouldn’t take being ignored well. It was making his skin crawl but he knew it would further piss off his dad so he kept it up.
After everyone else had been formally introduced to Eddie and Steve had gulped half a glass of wine, he felt almost ready to go deal with him. He took Eddie’s hand again and turned, but navigated them to the sliding glass door and outside instead.
It was chilly, late November in Indiana, but it felt amazing after the stuffiness of the house.
Steve remembered he still had Eddie’s hand in his and he quickly dropped it. “Uh, you smoke?”
Eddie grinned, all teeth and tongue as he held a battered pack of Newports out to him. “Not usually, really, but it makes for a good prop. Sorry they’re shit.”
“Holy shit. You’re amazing. I mean- perfect, I mean- fuck.” Steve laughed and shook his head. “The on-the-spot fact checking of my aunt’s political shit was next level. You could do this year round and make a killing, man.” He did pull a cigarette out of the pack and Eddie leaned into him, clicking the lighter for him, meeting his eyes as Steve sucked in.
“I don’t-“
The door slid open behind them and Mr. Harrington walked out.
“Looks like you and your date are avoiding me, Steven,” he said. Steve watched as he gave Eddie a very slow up and down look.
“No, dad. Just needed a break. It’s warm in there.” He made his face remain neutral. It’s not like anyone was cooking anything, his mom always got their big family meals catered.
His dad narrowed his eyes at him as he held eye contact, taking a drag from his bummed cigarette.
“Where is Robin today?”
He sighed. “With her family, dad. And for the last time, I’m not dating Robin. She’s a lesbian. This is Eddie, by the way. My date? He’s my boyfriend.”
When Steve had tried to come out as bisexual to his parents, his dad especially had made it clear that he did not accept that about his only child. As the years went on and he hadn’t spoken much about this part of his life, it seemed his dad had hoped it just went away.
Mr. Harrington scoffed, “I don’t understand why you want to throw your life away, Steven. I thought we’d raised you better-“ Eddie made a noise next to him and Steve knew he couldn’t look at him or he’d burst out laughing.
“Save it, dad. Believe it or not I love my life. Which is something I’d never thought I would be able to say. Can you even say that?”
His dad shook his head disappointedly and walked back inside.
“Excellent job. I don’t think you need me here after all,” Eddie joked.
Steve propped himself against the wall of the house, deeply tired from having to defend his choices to his dad for the umpteenth time.
“Maybe not need. But it’s been really fun having you here. Usually dinner conversation is about how big of a disappointment I am. Oh, I guess I didn’t give you that backstory. I’m graduating with my masters in psychology in the spring, and I’ve been early accepted into a PhD program. And there’s no money in helping people,” he chuckled. “So.” He scuffed out the butt with his heel and left it on his dad’s pristine patio.
“Steve. That’s amazing! Congratulations.” Eddie seemed genuinely excited for him and it brought a small smile to his face. “You look like you could really use a hug, man. Can I hug you?”
“Of course.” If he let himself hold on for a few seconds longer than strictly necessary, Eddie allowed it.
Dinner was quiet. His uncle asked Eddie what he did for work and he enthusiastically explained he was a line cook and worked nights at a bar. Steve surreptitiously looked around to take in everyone’s expressions and quickly covered his mouth with his napkin. He actually enjoyed himself during a holiday dinner for the first time he could remember.
Eddie at one point threw an arm around the back of his chair and he leaned in a bit into him, catching the disapproving stares they got from the corner of his eye.
Pie was passed around and by then Steve had had another glass of wine or two. He reached over to thumb the whipped cream from the side of Eddie’s lip without thinking, before popping the thumb into his own mouth. Eddie’s eyes widened and it was on the tip of his tongue to apologize but he caught himself.
“Thanks, babe,” Eddie said with a chuckle.
After saying their awkward goodbyes to everyone, Steve walked Eddie to his van. He looked down at his feet, fiddling with his keys.
“Hey, um, this may be out of left field and let me know if it’s too much, okay?” Eddie waited for Steve to nod. “Do you want to come to my uncle’s with me tomorrow night? It’s just the two of us and he always volunteers to work the holiday. But we do a thing, you know. A-and he’s always bugging me to bring someone.”
Steve blinked. “Would it have to be a fake date? I’m not as skilled at that as you are.”
“No, I mean, it wouldn’t- god I suck. I’m actually asking, like for real. If that’s okay? Just be you. And I’ll just be me.”
“That’s very okay. I’d really like that.” He couldn’t hold back his smile. Taking the chance, he leaned in, Eddie meeting him in the middle to finally press their lips together.
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A taxonomy of corporate bullshit
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Next Tuesday (Oct 31) at 10hPT, the Internet Archive is livestreaming my presentation on my recent book, The Internet Con.
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There are six lies that corporations have told since time immemorial, and Nick Hanauer, Joan Walsh and Donald Cohen's new book Corporate Bullsht: Exposing the Lies and Half-Truths That Protect Profit, Power, and Wealth in America* provides an essential taxonomy of this dirty six:
https://thenewpress.com/books/corporate-bullsht
In his review for The American Prospect, David Dayen summarizes how these six lies "offer a civic-minded, reasonable-sounding justification for positions that in fact are motivated entirely by self-interest":
https://prospect.org/culture/books/2023-10-27-lies-my-corporation-told-me-hanauer-walsh-cohen-review/
I. Pure denial
As far back as the slave trade, corporate apologists and mouthpieces have led by asserting that true things are false, and vice-versa. In 1837, John Calhoun asserted that "Never before has the black race of Central Africa, from the dawn of history to the present day, attained a condition so civilized and so improved, not only physically, but morally and intellectually." George Fitzhugh called enslaved Africans in America "the freest people in the world."
This tactic never went away. Children sent to work in factories are "perfectly happy." Polluted water is "purer than the water that came from the river before we used it." Poor families "don't really exist." Pesticides don't lead to "illness or death." Climate change is "beneficial." Lead "helps guard your health."
II. Markets can solve problems, governments can't
Alan Greenspan made a career out of blithely asserting that markets self-correct. It was only after the world economy imploded in 2008 that he admitted that his doctrine had a "flaw":
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/greenspan-admits-flaw-to-congress-predicts-more-economic-problems
No matter how serious a problem is, the market will fix it. In 1973, the US Chamber of Commerce railed against safety regulations, because "safety is good business," and could be left to the market. If unsafe products persist in the market, it's because consumers choose to trade safety off "for a lower price tag" (Chamber spox Laurence Kraus). Racism can't be corrected with anti-discrimination laws. It's only when "the market" realizes that racism is bad for business that it will finally be abolished.
III. Consumers and workers are to blame
In 1946, the National Coal Association blamed rampant deaths and maimings in the country's coal-mines on "carelessness on the part of men." In 2003, the National Restaurant Association sang the same tune, condemning nutritional labels because "there are not good or bad foods. There are good and bad diets." Reagan's interior secretary Donald Hodel counseled personal responsibility to address a thinning ozone layer: "people who don’t stand out in the sun—it doesn’t affect them."
IV. Government cures are always worse than the disease
Lee Iacocca called 1970's Clean Air Act "a threat to the entire American economy and to every person in America." Every labor and consumer protection before and since has been damned as a plague on American jobs and prosperity. The incentive to work can't survive Social Security, welfare or unemployment insurance. Minimum wages kill jobs, etc etc.
V. Helping people only hurts them
Medicare will "destroy private initiative for our aged to protect themselves with insurance" (Republican Senator Milward Simpson, 1965). Covid relief is unfair to people that are currently in the workforce" (Republican Governor Brian Kemp, 2021). Welfare produces "learned helplessness."
VI. Everyone who disagrees with me is a socialist
Grover Cleveland's 2% on top incomes is "communistic warfare against rights of property" (NY Tribune, 1895). "Socialized medicine" will leave "our children and our children’s children [asking] what it once was like in America when men were free" (Reagan, 1961).
Everything is "socialism": anti-child labor laws, Social Security, minimum wages, family and medical leave. Even fascism is socialism! In 1938, the National Association of Manufacturers called labor rights "communism, bolshevism, fascism, and Nazism."
As Dayen says, it's refreshing to see how the right hasn't had an original idea in 150 years, and simply relies on repeating the same nonsense with minor updates. Right wing ideological innovation consists of finding new ways to say, "actually, your boss is right."
The left's great curse is object permanence: the ability to remember things, like the fact that it used to be possible for a worker to support a family of five on a single income, or that the economy once experienced decades of growth with a 90%+ top rate of income tax (other things the left manages to remember: the "intelligence community" are sociopathic monsters, not Trump-slaying heroes).
When the business lobby rails against long-overdue antitrust action against Amazon and Google, object permanence puts it all in perspective. The talking points about this being job-destroying socialism are the same warmed-over nonsense used to defend rail-barons and Rockefeller. "If you don't like it, shop elsewhere," has been the corporate apologist's line since slavery times.
As Dayen says, Corporate Bullshit is a "reference book for conservative debating points, in an attempt to rob them of their rhetorical power." It will be out on Halloween:
https://bookshop.org/a/54985/9781620977514
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/27/six-sells/#youre-holding-it-wrong
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c-nstantine · 5 months
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It's Always The Nice Ones
Kinktober Fic: Clark discovers his girlfriend's tumblr.
Warnings/Kinks: Warnings/Kinks: Stomach Bulge, Spanking, Size Difference, Non consensual Recording (is this a bit self indulgent? yes, yes it is. thank you for noticing!)
Word Count: 1.5k
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Y/N kicked off her shoes as she entered her and her boyfriend's shared loft. It was a little expensive but the two of them made it work. That was Clark. Sweet, wonderful, and understanding Clark. Y/N loved him with all her heart. There wasn't a thing she would change about him. Well, maybe one thing. Don't get her wrong, he would always leave her satisfied but sometimes Y/N would still want more than what he gave her.
"So the Jamaican place was out of what you usually get so I got you what I get. Kinda works out anyway since you love to steal my jerk chicken," She called out to him as she walked into the kitchen. She was expecting to find him lounging on the couch while watching his favorite fall movie. She was pleasantly surprised to see him leaning against the kitchen counter with his glasses sitting on top of his head.
"What's this?" Clark asked, gesturing to Y/N's laptop. Her laptop was open and the current screen was the homepage of Y/N's Tumblr.
"My laptop? Clark, why do you have my laptop?" Y/N was a little scared. Her Tumblr was her sacred place. It's where her thoughts went to live and she didn't have to be as tame as a real person.
"Mine was dead so I thought I'd borrow yours. Could you imagine my surprise when I found out that my sweet girlfriend writes the most obscene 'smut' on the internet," He said smut in quotation marks. His blue eyes were trained on Y/N. Clark was normally a gentle giant with her but as he approached her, his energy was different. For the first time in their relationship, Y/N felt small. Now Clark being a 6'5 alien was a constant reminder in their relationship but he had never done anything that made her feel small and delicate.
"Clark, I can explain. There like fantasies," She said looking up at her boyfriend and placing her bags on the counter. She could feel the heat rise to her brown cheeks and warmth pooled into the bottom of her stomach. This wasn't fear, but rather horniness. 
"I had been gentle with you because I was afraid I might hurt you. Turns out you want to be hurt," Clark leaned down to whisper this in her ear. Y/N's insides practically melted. 
"Baby, I-" Y/N was going to explain herself but Clark interrupted her by placing a finger to her lips.
"Hush now. I want you to go upstairs and strip. You'll have to be punished for deceiving me. Don't worry, I'll go gentle on you the first time," Y/N's heart was racing and Clark could hear it.
"Clark," Y/N tried to justify herself once more. She couldn't find the exact words that she wanted to say. 
"Upstairs," Clark said sternly and he had dropped his smile. He looked serious.
"Okay," Y/N said stepping away from her giant boyfriend. She quickly found their bedroom and stripped out of her clothing for the day. She sat on the bed anxiously. At first, she was scared but then she found herself to be excited at the sound of the heavy footsteps of Clark as he walked up the stairs. Unbeknownst to her, Clark had placed a small camera he had borrowed from Bruce in the bedroom and it was almost impossible for the untrained eye to spot.
"Imagine my surprise when I found out that my sweet girlfriend wants to be fucked like a desperate whore and writing about it online. To think that I've been holding back. Get on your hands and knees," Y/N did as she was told, not wanting to make the situation worse. 
"Let's see. You've deceived me and then tried to cover it up. I think that's worth ten spankings," Clark spoke as he took in the stalk of his girlfriend's body. He looked at every curve, stretchmark, and scar lovingly but once again, Y/N felt small. Clark's cool hands rubbed her ass almost tenderly. 
"Spankings?" Y/N repeated, almost tripping over the word. When she had written it, she had never thought that it was going to happen to her. The idea that it was going to happen to her awoke something in her deeply.
"That's what you wrote about, isn't it? You dreamt of a moment like this," Clark said knowingly. He could always read her like a book to the point that she used to think one of his powers was telepathy. 
"If at any point it's too much, you can tell me and I'll stop okay?" There was a glimpse of the sweet Clark that she knew. 
"Okay," She nodded as she spoke. 
"Great, now count," Once again, his features darkened and it was like a different man was speaking to her. This didn't look like the man who made love but rather a man who fucks. 
"One!" She said after his hand collided with her ass. Clark grinned at the sight of the recoil of her ass. He wasn't using his superstrength, of course, but a small part of him enjoyed these actions. Y/N continued to count, her ass stinging with every spank. She almost gave out from the pain but she stayed strong even as tears began to run down her face. Clark was just hoping that the camera caught this angle. 
"See there's my pretty girl. You feeling okay?" Clark said tilting her jaw up after he had finished. He wiped her tears away with his thumb.
"Mhm," She said as her eyes stopped welling with tears. 
"Look at you. You're dripping just from a spanking. Roll over," Clark began to toy with the folds of her pussy while she was now laying on her back. Y/N spread her legs on instinct and Clark enjoyed the sight.
"So good at taking orders," He remarked as he kneeled between her legs. He pulled her waist to the edge of the bed and used his hands to pin her down. Her size didn't matter because he knew he had the strength to hold her down.
Now, eating Y/N out was one of Clark's favorite pastimes. He could do it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He loved to have her wetness smeared all over his face like it was now. Hearing her moans did something to him but he preferred to listen to her heart rate as she got closer and closer to her peak. His tongue toyed with her clit while his fingers took long strokes in and out of her. 
"Clark, I'm close, please," Clark simply chuckled as Y/N spoke those words. He pulled his mouth away from her and removed his fingers.
"Wait, why'd you stop?" Y/N said a little upset from her ruined orgasm. She was quickly satiated when Clark replaced his fingers with his dick. She didn't even hear him unbuckle his pants. Clark normally liked to take his time with Y/N and allow her to adjust to his length. Hell, he had spent months just training her to be able to take all of it but now all of that was gone at the window as he pounded into her with fullness. 
Y/N thought she was seeing stars as she moaned out from the deep strokes she was receiving. The stinging of her ass couldn't be felt from the pleasure Clark was giving her. The sound of the headboard hitting the wall was the only thing grounding Y/N to reality. She was sure there were dents in the wall but that would be tomorrow's problem. Well, if she could walk, it would be. 
Clark was having the time of his life. He could see the faint outline of his cock from Y/N's stomach and began to move harder. Once the outline was much more prominent and pressed his hand to her stomach. Both of them cried out from the new sensation. Clark's cheeks had turned a bright red and his glasses managed to get across the room. He had regretted not doing this earlier.  
Y/N's pussy began to spasm with Clark's dick still inside and soon after he finished inside of her. His strokes slowed until he fully pulled out of her. Y/N's legs were tingly and her breaths were deep. Clark kissed her cheek and congratulated her for doing so well before disappearing into the bathroom. Y/N almost felt like she had just cosplayed a Twinkie. 
"I'm gonna clean you up and then put this cream on your bum," He said with a warm damp towel in one hand and some sort of numbing cream in the other. 
"Clark, sweetheart, you just fucked the living daylights out of me, you can say ass," She said while he cleaned between her thighs. Her hands found his hair and he simply had a dopey grin on his face. After he was finished, he discretely grabbed the hidden camera and put it somewhere safe for now. Just because he knew Y/N's kinks, didn't mean she needed to know his, not yet, at least. 
Clark gave Y/N one of his T-shirts and brought up the food from earlier. She leaned on his shoulder as the two ate in bed. She wondered what other boundaries she could push Clark to now that he knew her darkest fantasies. 
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strawberrysturniolo · 2 months
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can u do a fic where chris is w/ pregnant Reader and the reader has to tell him but chris finds out by himself. sorry if it’s so dry 😅
baby love // chris sturniolo
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kinda took a different spin on this idea… hope you enjoy!!
summary: when you and your friends jokingly take some pregnancy tests, the nights becomes very serious when one of them comes up positive.
I had invited my friends over for some drinks tonight, the first time we’ve all been able to catch up with our busy work schedules and some of our studies.
I had been so busy trying to be a good host, making use of the limited room in my apartment, that my drink had sat untouched for hours.
No stupid ideas had been made until my friend Ramona opened her mouth.
“This is gonna sound super weird,” she started to say. “But I had ordered a few shitty pregnancy tests to prank my boyfriend with, and I don’t know what to do with the rest, so I brought them over and I thought we could all take one for shits and giggles.”
“That is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard,” Lula remarked. I couldn’t keep myself from agreeing.
“We’ve all been drinking,” I remind Ramona. “If someone’s pregnant then we shouldn’t be drinking.”
“Well, none of us are gonna be pregnant,” she says in a matter of fact tone. “It’s just preparation for when we’re all pregnant at the same time, taking tests together.”
“I think it’s a cute idea, but maybe that’s the tequila talking,” Ellie adds.
I shrug, laughing at them. “Whatever, you guys go have fun peeing together.”
“Ummm,” Ramona looks at me with a devilish smile. “You’re coming with!”
Despite my arguing, here I am in the bathroom, peeing on a stick.
To make this situation worse, Ellie thought it was a great idea to scramble the tests up, so now we have no idea which test belonged to which person.
I leaned against the wall of the bathroom while my three friends stared at the sink’s counter, waiting for the results.
At the sound of a timer going off, my friends squealed as they flipped the tests over.
“Oh my god,” they say together.
It’s in that moment that I run to the sink, looking to see what they are gasping at.
Shit.
One of these is positive, and we have no clue who.
“Okay,” I say. “Let’s take some more tests. You have more, right?”
Ramona grabs her bag, scrambling for some more pregnancy tests. “I have two. So if two of us take it and they’re negative, we can get two more and try the other two girls. If one of these is positive, then we know who it was.”
“I’ll do it,” Ellie volunteers. “I hooked up with a guy a few weeks ago. My period hasn’t come around yet, but we hooked up at the end of my cycle, so I haven’t missed it yet. I’m not gonna be able to relax until I know if I’ve been drinking while I’m… you know.”
Lula stares at me from across the bathroom.
“What?” I snap, now scared of the chances of one of these belonging to me.
“You’re the one with a long term boyfriend,” she reminds me, mumbling, like she can sense that I’m about to break.
Chris and I have been dating less than a year. Everything is great, but I’m in no way in the position to have a baby right now. Neither is Chris.
“Whatever. I’ll take it,” I say, and I’m playing that same waiting game again.
This time, we keep track of the tests, mine in my hand, and Ellie’s in hers. We stand in a circle silently, until the timer interrupts our peace again.
When I flip the test over, I feel everything around me fall.
Fuck.
I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I want to be a mom more than anything, but I wanted to do this with Chris. I wanted us to plan this out. I wanted us to take the test together. I wanted us to be married, have a place together. I wanted this to be for us, not for my friends to suggest taking tests as a joke.
Thank god I didn’t have that drink.
I sit on the edge of the toilet, tears coming out of me before I can process any emotion. I cant figure out what these tears are. Happy? Sad? Confused? Scared?
I just want Chris.
The girls left for the night. We spent the next few hours trying to make light of the situation. They were supportive of me and wanted me to gather myself, and we practiced what I’m going to tell Chris.
I mean, there’s no doubt that this is his. It’s only ever been me and him.
As I’m finishing up my cleaning, I hear two knocks on my apartment door, followed by the creak of the hinges as the door swings open.
“Hey, baby,” Chris smiles at me.
I feel my heart drop, knowing I have this secret on the tip of my tongue, but I have no idea how to get it out.
I wave to him, I fucking wave to my boyfriend. I can’t make a sound.
“Baby?” he asks, his gaze softening. He can always sense when something is wrong.
He calls me baby all the time, but hearing it after the news I got today just makes me frown. I can’t keep this from him.
He hurries over to me when he sees my face drop. His arms wrap around me in the tightest, most secure hug, only making me more emotion. The tears start spilling out, and without realizing, I’m fucking wailing.
“Do you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” he says quietly, in a comforting tone. He sways us back and forth, trying to calm me down.
“Can I show you something?” I whisper, trying not to break down even more if I try raising my voice.
“Of course.”
I grab his hand, pulling him to my bathroom. I lead him in front of the sink and point to the two positive pregnancy tests sitting on the counter. It takes him a moment to realize what they are, but when he does, I watch the color wash from his face. He swallows nervously, making me cry even more. This isn’t how this was supposed to go. Not at all.
I let out another sob, and in that moment, Chris puts his own fears aside to comfort me again. He turns me away from the test, hiding them from my viewpoint. He holds me against his chest, keeping my grounded as he shushes me.
“Shhhh, it’s okay. Everything’s okay,” he assures me. “It’s gonna be fine.”
I shake my head against him. “You have your career. There’s so much you want to do. We had so many things we wanted to accomplish before we ever thought of a family.”
“Babe,” he says, cutting me off and grabbing my cheeks so I look at him, and only him. “This is between you and me. And I want to be with you more than anything else in the world. I have my whole life ahead of me to expand my career, but if this is a sign that this is the time we were meant to have a family, then I’m game if you are. You make the call here. I know what I want, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to make any one decision because of me.”
I love this man. So fucking much.
“I want to have babies with you,” I say. He nods, smiling softly.
“I want to have babies with you,” he says back.
“I wanted to do this together,” I tell him what I had told my friends. “I wanted this to be special.”
“It is special, because this is us. This is what was supposed to happen, don’t you think?”
I nod, letting him wipe my tears.
“All I want is for you to be happy. You can move in with me, or we can get our own place. We have a lot to figure out but trust me when I say it will get figured out. And you’re going to be the best fucking mom this world has ever seen.”
Some of that fear is replaced with excitement and passion at his words of encouragement, and he makes me sure of the fact that I could never imagine this with someone else.
It was always supposed to be him.
tag list: @secret-sturniolo @chrisloyalgf @strnilolo @qwertytit @55sturn @sleepysturnss @creamoncreamoncream2 @sturnvvz @swaggygirlboss123 @angelworldspost @patscorner @ducksturniolo @mattitties @luv4kozume @mbbsgf @freshloveforthefit @gamermattsgf @strniololoverr @urmom2bitch @sturnitup @luvmila444 @st7rnioioss @sturniolosreads @1201pm-blog @pepsiskiess @alorsxsturn @sturniolopepsi @sturnsgasoline @sturns-posts @sstvrnioloo @strawberrymilk4k @kiibichio @nickmillersn1gf @milesfordays11 @l9vesick @mattsturnzzz09 @mattnchrisworld
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itjazzbicch · 4 months
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A Big Step In Life
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Pairing:  Husband!Bi Han x Pregnant!Wife!Fem Reader 
Summary: Going two days with a random sickness, Bi Han becomes impatient and wants to know what's causing his wife, the reader, to be ill, and is surprised when he gets the answer...
Requested by: @belle-oftheball34 (I hope you enjoyed it!)
Warnings:  N/A! (Just Fluff!)
Word Count: 0.6k 
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For the past two days, I had been waking up sick. It would fade away just to come back worse than before. I had an idea of what it could have been, but I wanted to be sure.
Unlike me, my husband, Bi Han, was somewhat worried and impatient to know the cause. It was rare for me to get sick, and to such intensity had him pacing back and forth:
"I am getting tired of waiting."
"Relax, Brother," Kuai sighed at him, only trying to help, "I am sure that Y/N will be fine."
"Don't tell me to relax," Bi Han growled at him, freezing and staring as the doctor stepped out of the room, whispering to Bi Han with a smile:
"She will be just fine, but she does have something to tell you. It's best if you hear it from her."
With the door open, I could see the confusion on his face. He marched into the room, shutting and locking the door.
"Don't look so stressed, Bi Han. I'm fine, I promise."
"Then why are you sick?" He groaned out of impatience, sitting at my side on our bed, growing serious as he asked, "The doctor told me that you had something to tell me. What is it?"
"I know why I've been dealing with this sickness," I smiled. My smile confused him till I took his hand, his eyes carefully following it as I placed his hand on top of my stomach.
His eyes shot over to mine quickly, knowing what was going on but needing to hear me say:
"You're going to be a father, Bi Han."
"I'm going to be a father," He repeated, smiling more with my nod:
"It's why my nausea was so strong, love."
"I'm going to be a father," He repeated again, his hand sliding under the blanket and under my shirt to feel my stomach.
I wasn't far along, but as his palm met my skin, there was this overwhelming happiness that washed over me; I sniffled as I nodded to him again:
"We're going to be parents, dear."
Seeing my swelled-up tears, he fixed me up a little so he could hug me, which only made that happiness stronger, squeezing him as he cooed to me:
"And we will be great parents."
"I'm so blessed to be your wife and the mother of your child," I sniffled, back to smiling as he wiped a tear from my cheek:
"There's no other in this world that I'd want to be that for me."
As our foreheads met and I stared into those brown eyes, I just knew our future was filled with even more joyful moments than this one, holding his face as he smiled at me softly, kissing him:
"You and our child are my whole world, Bi Han."
Kissing me back, he only turned away as there was a knock on the door, getting up to see Kuai and Tomas.
"I truly hate to interrupt brother-" Kuai began, just for Bi Han to immediately shut him down:
"Whatever it is, it can wait. I just learned that I'm going to be a father."
"But-" Tomas went to step in but stopped as he registered what Bi Han had said, "Wait a second. Y/N's pregnant?"
"Yes, she is," Bi Han clarified, shocked but smiles on their faces as they learned that they'd be uncles, Kuai congratulating us and making eye contact with me:
"That would explain why you've been sick. Congratulations. I'm happy for you two."
"As am I," Tomas bowed, saying quickly, "Sorry to disturb you, brother."
As they shut the door, Bi Han returned to me, his hand latched to my stomach again. I'd never get tired of that feeling, placing my hand on top of his, squeezing softly:
"I can't wait to meet our baby and be our own little family." 
2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome. 
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psychwxrdd · 2 months
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i can't stop thinking about rafe being all head over heels for kook! reader and she doesn't give a damn about him and loves jj 😭 could be a dark rafe too omg
You.
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(gif is not mine!)
🎀 - 18+, dark! rafe x kook! reader, jj x reader, stalker! rafe, possessive! rafe, obsessive! rafe (tbh i feel like it's all just normal rafe lmao) blackmail, gaslighting, gun use, smut, rafe is really unhinged, dub con. work and college are draining the life out of me so i didn't had time to see if there's any mistake :(( already apologizing for anything babes
rafe loses his shit when he finds out you're dating jj.
It wasn't fucking fair. A filthy pogue getting his way to your pants and your heart? When he tried to have you his whole life? He was furious.
Rafe's mind was a mess, thoughts racing, bad thoughts. He wanted to kill someone, take his anger out in any way... How could you do this to him?
You guys know each other since childhood, and Rafe is in love with you since then. Some hook ups here and there, but nothing serious, just for one night stand. You were the one he always loved, loved so much it phisically hurted him. You were the most beautiful thing he ever laid his eyes on, and he doubtly that would ever change. No one could compare to you in the slightest.
Of course, he wasn't the only one. As if it wasn't enough that you're just the most gorgeous girl to ever exist, you're also sweet, funny, kind, smart... Always being nice to everyone, making friends everywhere. You were even friends with the ones from the dirty side of the island.
But Rafe was also so cocky, even with your constant polite rejections, he knew who he was. He thought you would eventually throw yourself on his arms, he had so many ideas in his mind. He always thought that in the end, you would be his girl, and you would both be the kook king and queen, that he would work while you're his little sweet housewife, waiting for him with open arms (and legs) at home. He spent hours thinking about you, about how much he wanted to carry you in his arms, to just hug and kiss you, hold your hands. He wanted to know about your thoughts, things you never told anyone... He wanted you to be his princess, his doll, only his forever.
He was always showing up to your work - even being a kook and not needing the money, you wanted responsability. As kids, he was always following you everywhere in school, and being the tough guy he always was, little rafe would be all other boys - and girls - bully, if he saw they talking about you being their crush. Always rushing to pair up with you in class. Really fucking clingy, but you were always sweet to him, he was cool to talk with. He always made you laugh. Rafe would always tell his parents and everyone that you would be his wife one day, but at the time, it was just cute.
As teenagers, he started to ask you out on dates, asking if you wanted to go to prom with him, or if you could kiss him as a "birthday gift". And thats when you first broke his heart with "I only see you as a friend." But Rafe wasn't one to give up easily.
Always doing everything to show you how no other boy could ever be better than him. He was from the richest family in Outer Banks, he could afford anything you wanted. He always gave you expensive gifts, anything you said you wanted, he would buy it. He wanted to impress you all the time, but it was meaningless to you. None of that could buy your heart, and that started to annoy you, but as you were always too nice to everyone and didn't knew how to say no or push people away, you simply was quiet about how uncomfortable that felt.
And now, as young adults, things only got worse. He was extremely pushy, or as he would say, proactive. Everyone knew better than to mess with him, it was no surprise that he was trouble, but as he grew up, he also grew to be more and more mentally ill.
Now, he just happened to find out you and JJ were officially together.
What a fucking slut. What a fucking ungrateful whore. He loved you first, you were his first! How could you love that stupid pogue instead? What did JJ have that he doesn't? He is way better, he could give you the world if you asked.
Rafe wouldn't take this shit, not now. He was tired of this. You were supposed to be his girl, and thats how it will be, and now it no longer matter for him if you want it or not.
He sniffed the rest of the coke and went to his dirt bike, on his way to your house, not much far from his.
"Hey, Rafe" you said in a soft tone. His heart melted at the scene, he was mad, but boy did he love you. The minute you opened your door he could smell your sweet, heavenly scent. You looked just like an angel, he wanted nothing more than to just stare at you like a fool, but he had to do this.
"You fine?" Rafe asked, a cold tone.
"Yeah...Is everything ok? You need something?"
He sighed and looked down, licking his lips. You could see he was nervous. "Is anyone home?"
You frowned slightly at his question. Why did he wanted to know that?
"No, my parents are out for tonight."
As you were about to ask him why, he was quick to cover your mouth and drag you inside, shutting the door behind you. Your eyes were wide.
"Calm down, okay? I won-...i'm not gonna hurt you... okay?" He said, still manhandling you, while caressing your hair and placing it behind your ears. He gave your forehead a kiss.
"I have a problem, and i want to solve it tonight" he said closer to your ear, and he could see the fear in your eyes. That sight and being that close to you was enough to make him almost cum in his pants. "I don't think you wanna date that Maybank guy. He's gonna put you in trouble, and i don't wanna see you in dangerous...I love you too much for that, princess. I - i can't just watch you ruin your life and do nothing about it!"
Tears fell from your eyes. Rafe talking about someone else being troubled? That was a joke itself.
"And...I need you to know that" His own eyes were tearing up now "That i much rather kill myself than see you with him."
You froze at him. You tap his hands, trying to let him know that you wanted to say something, but he didn't cared.
He put his hands on his pocket, and you were now a crying mess. His gun were now so close to your body, closer than you would ever want to stand from a gun.
You started to scream his name and thats when he let go of your mouth. "Rafe, please, lets talk about it!" you sounded desperated.
"Talk about what, y/n? Huh? My whole life, i have fucking loved you my whole life, and now you wanna talk? Bullshit" He shouted, his face red from anger. But his eyes were still full of tears.
"I- i...Rafe, please...I can..." You were lost, completely, what you were supposed to do? Break up with the one you loved to avoid someone's death? And then dating him instead? This was so fucked up. You felt like you would faint at any second.
He pointed the gun to his head, and thats when you acted from pure despair.
Almost jumping against him and giving him a hard kiss. His eyes went wide, but it didn't take long for him to kiss you back, much harder. He almost moaned at the feeling. Something he wanted so bad, for so long. You.
The expression on his face was almost like he was having an orgasm. He held you tightly, so tight you were sure that would hurt later. As horrible as the whole situation was, he was a good kisser, you hated that you even thought that. But it was true.
Maybe it was just a survival instinct, but the way he knew how to kiss and hold you really turned you on.
You broke the kiss, quickly, and held his face. "Please, put the gun on the floor, Rafe"
His eyes were shining... He wouldn't deny you anything now. He placed on the floor.
"I will break up with JJ...ok?" You said, your voice breaking at how much your own words hurted you. It was so sick, you loved him more than anything. You couldn't imagine your life without him. Would he ever forgive you? You were sure that he wouldn't.
More and more tears fell from your eyes, while Rafe was smilling hard like a kid. "You don't know how much i waited for this, doll. But i want to make sure you're really gonna do this."
You were rolling your eyes, moaning as loud as it was possible, while Rafe was fucking you hard in missionary. He was so deep inside you, you felt like cumming harder than ever. But you didn't really wanted this, tho your body was enjoying it a lot. Your heart felt broken.
"Hi babe, you ok?" JJ asked on the phone, and hearing his voice made you cry again. You were now a mix of crying and moans. "Whats going on sweetheart? You're crying? Whats it?"
Rafe held your phone with a sick smile on his face, he couldn't control his groans as he held your neck with other hand. Finally being able to fuck you after so long... You had to reward him. You had to let him cum inside you, fuck you for hours, use you for how long he wanted. For all the countless times he jerked off thinking about you, all the times he fucked someone else picturing you instead. This was fucking paradise for him. He was sure you would end this night either pregnant, or with your whole pink girly room full with his cum everywhere.
"What the fuck is this?" JJ yelled, and you couldn't bring yourself to say anything, so Rafe did instead.
"She is dumping your ass, pogue. She is mine now."
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istoleyoursk1n · 2 months
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Hi can you do halsin Gale and Astarion with a very explicit and flirty paladin s/o who looks super stoic and serious please?
Like they’re there standing stoic and menacing and then whispers in their ear the dirtiest pick up line ever?
Like I think they’d have a funny reaction!
Feel free to refuse ofc! Thanks anyways!
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How would Halsin, Gale, and Astarion react to a paladin who looks stoic/strict only for them to be an explicit and flirty?
(Damn, reminds me of my PaladinLMAO)
.
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: ̗̀➛ ASTARION
“Oh, darling, and just when I thought you were as dense as a brick wall. I never could have guessed that beneath all that was a cheeky little flirt. All that dirt coming out of such a filthy mouth, you ought to have someone clean it out for you, my sweet.”
He was the one being the flirty ass at first, hitting on you in every teasing way he could think of with the hopes that perhaps someday he’d get a reaction out of you for his own amusement.
You never seemed to comment on his “advances” at first, you remained as stern as usual with little but a side glance to offer.
Probably got personally offended each time his usual charms failed but he was persistent. More so because he wanted to prove that he could truly seduce even the most stoic of hearts.
He made it his personal mission to make you crack, but along the way, he may or may not have fallen for you. Regardless, the realization absolutely horrified him.
Perhaps he just has the worst luck ever or you finally started to begin your master plan of turning the tables against him but nevertheless, he wasn't prepared at all for what you had in store for him.
He was already taking quite the liking to you, so the moment you began whispering such depraved yet smooth words into his ear, he was shocked and speechless for the first time in years.
His mind was practically breaking apart as you laid out every filthy thing you had in mind. He truly couldn't tell if this was utterly fucked or if he was somehow into it.
You would be the sole reason a tint of color finally appears in his otherwise undead skin. The tint being a bright shade of red of course.
He goes from being startled, angry, confused, flustered and then eventually hitting you right back with a little pick up line of his own once he’s finally calmed down.
Now both of you end up teasing and flirting with each other as sneakily as possible, both of you trying to outdo the other in terms of who could fluster whom the most.
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: ̗̀➛ GALE
“I…oh gods, love, you truly don't understand the things you do to this heart of mine. Of all the weaknesses I could have possibly gotten, you are one I’d welcome with open arms. I have stood proud amongst a Goddess but for you? I’d fall to my knees.”
He was slightly intimated by you at first by how stoic you appeared to be. You seemed like a person who’d prioritize business and work above all else, repelling anyone with nothing more than a glare.
He wasn't even sure how to approach you, he was already admiring you from afar but he feared that you would have never felt the same. Not when it felt as if your heart was locked within walls of stone.
He tried to shoot his shot once or twice, but they were always met with a few words of acknowledgment or even worse, a mere nod.
As much as he wished to simply move on from his utter fixation on you, he can't help but pine. You’re something he's grown to truly desire in ways he could hardly express.
However, one way or another, every little attraction he’s felt for you thus far is revealed by him. Completely exposing just how smitten he truly is by you and perhaps that single moment of true vulnerability is what finally made you snap.
Pull him close and abruptly whisper every depraved fantasy and dirty pickup line you've thought of just for him and he’d die. I mean, melting right then and there into a puddle of shame.
For a man who talks too much, he suddenly becomes oddly quiet, his eyes wide with a certain gleam of helplessness that makes him look all the more exposed to you.
For once in his life he’s stuttering his words, barely even able to hang onto a sentence without having to take a moment to breathe or silently whimper out in a mix of embarrassment, confusion, and frustration.
Dropping one of your pickup lines would be just enough to have this man in a chokehold. Truly. It’s one of the only ways to actually silence him.
He’s not one for pickup lines but he’d try his damn best to voice out his admiration for you similar to how a poet would describe their one and only muse. Through each sweet whisper, you dare utter, he falls deeper and deeper in love with you.
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: ̗̀➛ HALSIN
“My heart, I beg of you. Each word, each whisper, even the soft tingle of your breath against my skin- you are a walking temptation that I so longingly wish to taste. My blood runs wild when you are near and I fear what I may do to you if you if you continue on.”
He was hardly bothered by the fact that you seemed a tad bit uptight. He has met far too many people similar to you and he’s learned better than to judge someone based on appearances alone.
Doesn't change the fact that he was in fact attracted to you.
The thing is, he respects you too much to ever make a move. At least, not for a while. Most conversations you’d have with Halsin were of the friendly sort at first, prioritizing the mission at hand before anything else.
However, in truth, the way his eyes practically brightened and his breath ever so subtly quivered when you approached was something you could have slowly picked up on.
He eventually slides very discrete hints about his attraction toward you, simply testing the waters to see if you would reciprocate. However, he truly never expected you to actually take the bait.
Before he could even properly make a move on you, you were already whispering every one of your sweetly depraved desires into his ear, catching him completely off guard.
He knew that there must have been more beneath your hardened exterior but he would have never suspected this. But is he complaining? Absolutely not.
But do be careful when and where you decide to whisper such things to him because you may or may not be seconds away from being utterly ravished by one bear of a man against the nearest surface.
Do so in public spaces where it's safe to tease him, giving you the freedom to watch as his breath heaves and his voice breaks just by the smoothened words coming out of your dirty mouth.
Nevertheless, he’s absolutely obsessed with your little flirty remarks, said remarks being enough to fluster him instantaneously. All the lovers he had taken in his life and yet he had never met one who could madden him as much as you do.
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greatooglymooglyyy · 4 days
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The Last Ride Chapter Five (AU Cowboy!C.Sturniolo)
summary: when spoiled and sheltered city girl Y/N finds herself in running in the wrong crowd, her dad gives her an ultimatum. it's either spend the summer of her gap year on her uncle's ranch or face being cut off and finding a job. just when she thinks it can't get any worse, she meets Chris, the brooding farmhand who thinks he knows her type. but as the summer goes on, they both realize there may be more to the other than meets the eye.
series masterlist
requested and advised by @rootbeerworshiper
contains: drinking, arguing, insecurity, 3.6k words
a/n: holy shit so many words. what the fuck
“Okay, okay, I got one. Lucky Charms or Frosted Flakes?” A familiar voice asks.
The soft breeze that fluctuates throughout the air sifts through the boy's hair softly, the sun beating down only furthering the color in his eyes.
This was always my favorite weather, not too overwhelmingly hot and stagnant, but also not a windy mess of a day—Just calm.
I scoff jokingly as I come around the fence, my demeanor more relaxed than it usually is on the ranch. “Frosted Flakes, duh. What do you take me for?”
Chris smiles and gives me a raised brow look, almost mocking me in a sense as he speaks. “Yeah okay, little Ms. ‘I like my eggs poached’.”
“Hey! Not everybody can scramble them hard like Birdie.” I say in defense, pulling myself up to perch on the ledge he’s leaning against.
He rolls his eyes and glances around at the ranch, probably counting off our tasks to make sure we haven’t missed anything. As he thinks, his body shifts closer to mine, his arm brushing my thigh and setting off sparks throughout my body.
It’s just Chris, just annoying egotistical Chris who happened to place his hand on my thigh, and I happened to like it more than I'd care to admit.
In the couple weeks since my birthday, we’ve fallen into something of a friendship. The teasing is still persistent, but it’s a lot less serious. There’s something new between us, something that feels like understanding but also seems a bit more tender.
Chris turns back to me, smiling brightly. “Well, I think it’s ‘bout time we call it a wrap, huh Scotch?”
He pushes off the fence and comes to stand in front of me, placing a hand on my hip and guiding me off of the ledge. Heat floods my skin at the casual touch and multiplies when he doesn’t immediately pull away once I’m on the ground. The moment holds for a second as our eyes lock; his thumb resting on the tiny patch of skin right above where my shorts end and my shirt begins.
When the moment ends, I expect him to do what he always does and deflect but this time he doesn’t. He just gently pulls away and smiles at me, as if finally acknowledging this dynamic between us.
We walk back to the truck to meet up with Uncle Buck, Chris growing a bit unusually quiet, nothing but the sound of our shoes on the dirt and the occasional rock getting kicked to the side. I reach over and gently push his shoulder in question and he meets my eye. He stops walking and I follow his slowed pace, now turning to stand in front of him. “What’s up?”
“What are you doing tonight?” He asks, visibly cringing at himself as he asks and I can’t help but smile at his new sense of awkwardness. “I just mean like, do you want to get out of the house?”
“Depends on what you have in mind.” I lie, nodding my head up slightly knowing damn well I’d go anywhere he wanted at this point. But, Chris doesn’t seem to know this, shifting the feet in his cowboy boots like he’s nervous, like I make him nervous.
“My friends and I usually meet up at Hank’s on Friday nights. It’s pretty fun, I think.” He says, looking over my shoulder and moving around his toothpick that rests in his teeth.
“Who’s Hank?” I ask, a bit concerned with the idea of going to a stranger's house for a first hangout. But, Chris just laughs, breaking the tension with a sound I'm more than happy to hear exit his lips.
“It’s a honky-tonk, girl.”
“Oh,” I think for a second, racking my brain to attempt to figure out what the hell a honky-tonk is. “Still lost, bud.”
He rolls his eyes, a proud smirk growing on his face. “Ain’t you ever seen the Hannah Montana movie?”
My jaw drops and I blink at him rapidly, processing the new ammo he just gave me for free. “Holy shit.”
“Alright, don’t start-”
“Pop it, lock it, polka dot it, countrify, then hip-hop it-” I sing obnoxiously as I slide around in front of him doing the dance.
His tongue glides over his front teeth, hiding the smile that so desperately wants to come out. “You know what? Stay home. You ain’t invited anymore.”
“Want me to do The Climb next?”
Chris shakes his head and steps around me, a small smile playing on his lips as he begins to walk towards the truck again. “Shut up. It’s a country bar. You coming or not?”
I sigh dramatically as I catch up to him, cocking my head to the side. “Way to make a girl feel special. ‘You coming or nah.” I mock.
He reaches out and grabs my elbow, tugging me to a stop. “Please come.”
I fight every urge to stop fully in my tracks at his words, the sudden affection catching me completely off guard. “Wouldn’t want a city girl like me ruining your fun with the boys” I tease, mocking his Southern accent.
He doesn’t reply, instead just staring down at me with a look of seriousness that I have yet to see through his eyes. “I’m kidding, I'd love to go,” I say, suddenly feeling smaller under his gaze.
He gives me a bright smile, the sun hitting just right to light his entire face up as relief sets into his shoulders. And just like that, I’m a goner.
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Aunt Birdie sits on the edge of my bed, watching as I sort through every piece of clothing I brought to Louisiana. I’ve been trying to put an outfit together for an hour but nothing is working. Everything is either too LA or meant to be work clothes only. I don’t want his friends to think I’m bougie but I’d rather die than wear overalls off of this ranch.
“So…” My aunt starts, trying and failing to sound casual as she kicks her feet gently. “Chris, huh?”
I toss her a look over my shoulder, immediately stiffening up. “It’s not like that. We’re just friends.”
“Oh, sure, bunny.” She answers with a knowing smirk. “Just friends.”
I sigh and stand from the floor in defeat before falling backwards onto my bed letting out yet another breath. This is impossible. “I’m not going.”
“The hell you ain’t!” She exclaims, hopping up and walking over to my closet with a new sense of urgency. “What’s wrong with this one?”
She pulls out a red, simple dress that I don’t even remember packing and holds it against her body, looking down at it with a confused expression. I tap my finger against my chin as I think but then throw my head back in frustration. “I don’t know. Just tell me what country girls wear, please.”
Birdie frowns and lowers the dress, coming back over to the bed to sit beside me. She taps my leg so I will sit up and look at her. “Is that what all this is about?”
Not wanting to admit how insecure I’m actually feeling, I say nothing for a second and then shrug as a familiar pit digs deeper into my stomach. “I just don’t want to stand out.”
It sounds pathetic, I feel pathetic, but the last thing I need is to look like some prissy LA girl that Chris dragged along. I just want to be liked.
My aunt laughs and places her palm to my face, cupping my jaw delicately. “Hate to tell you this darling but you’d stand out if you were a grain of sand at the beach.”
I groan, dropping my head onto her shoulder in full defeat. “Great.”
“Just be you, my love. If Chris wanted one of these little country chickenheads, then why did he go looking for you?” She insists, handing me the red fabric and standing.
Giving her a small smile, I take the dress and head to the bathroom, stopping on the way to grab my cowboy boots. It’s about time I give them a try.
The mirror and I aren’t friends in any capacity. My hands smooth over the dress, my mind still fighting every urge to text Chris and say I can’t go, but I don’t let myself, instead taking in a breath of air and letting it leave my lungs.
A smile replaces my once sad face. I'm going to a bar with a cute boy, and I'm excited about it.
Once I’m ready, I check my phone expecting to see a text from Chris saying he’s on the way but there are no notifications. I scrunch my face up but head to the living room to wait, the sight of him waiting on the couch taking me by surprise.
“How long ago did you get here?” I ask in confusion, looking over to where my uncle and aunt sit.
“Not long. Just an hour and a half.” He looks down dramatically.
“Chris! Why didn’t you-”
“I’m joking. Like ten minutes. You ready?” He says, standing with a smile on his face and dusting off his blue jeans.
“Why didn’t you just wait in the car and text me or something?” I ask as I walk over to meet him at the door.
Three pairs of eyes stare at me as if I’ve lost my mind, Chris’ holding genuine offense. “What?” I question defensively, my gaze shifting between the eyes on me as my eyebrows furrow together.
“Man, those city boys ain’t worth a damn.” He mutters as he holds the door open, waiting for me to walk first and following behind shortly.
I’m still a bit confused but I shake it off as I climb into his truck. To my surprise, it’s spotless like he’s just gotten it detailed and I look over at him when he gets in. “Why is your car so clean?”
The smell of cleaning materials and an air freshener overtakes any other sense.
Tossing an arm over my headrest to reverse, he kisses his teeth and shakes his head. “Can’t ever win with you huh? If it’s messy, you talk shit. If it’s clean, you talk shit.”
“I’m just saying.” I laugh, trying not to focus on how close his face is to mine. “Last time I got in here, it was a biohazard.”
“Last time, I wasn’t tryin’ to impress you.” He replies, sending my heart into overdrive. I can’t even think of a witty response so I just lean back in my seat, biting my lip to hide a smile.
Chris reaches forward and turns up his music, melodic rap music flooding the car, and then leans back. He places his elbow on the center console, his palm facing up, and I can’t help but stare at his hand, wishing he’d reach over and take mine.
Something takes over me and in a surge of confidence, I lace our fingers together, turning and looking out the window so I don’t have to see his reaction. He seems to tense up for a second so I let his hand go and move to pull mine away, but he doesn’t let me. Instead, he intertwines our hands again, smoothing his thumb against the back of mine, and doesn’t let go until we pull into the parking lot.
Chris jogs around the car and opens my door, extending his hand to help me out of his tall truck. When I’m on the ground, he takes a step back and trails his eyes over me. “You’re wearing the boots.” He comments quietly, taking my hand again and leaning us towards the bar.
“For the first time,” I say looking down at them with a smile. “Hope I styled them right.”
He looks over at me again, his easy smirk pulling back up to his face. “You styled them right.”
I sigh at the way he always talks in circles instead of giving direct compliments, trying to push away how it reminds me of Jace. But he notices and squeezes my hand so I’ll look up at him. “You’re gorgeous, Scotch. Everyday. But especially in those boots.”
Thankfully, he swings the door open to Hank’s before I can melt into a puddle on the sidewalk and we head inside. He spots his friends and starts toward them, tugging me behind him.
Hanks was definitely unlike any other bar I’ve been to, a more laid-back, old-fashioned vibe as a crowd of cowboys overtakes the open space.
As much as I can love parties, the pit in my stomach before entering them never goes away.
A couple of the boys whoop out Chris’ name when they notice him and he chuckles, pulling back his free hand to dap them up. I stand awkwardly behind him, preparing myself for the moment when he’ll drop my hand now that we’re with his friends. But it never comes.
Instead, he pulls me to his side and introduces me with a smile. It’s a pretty big group, four girls and five boys, and they’ve pushed two tables together to make room for all of them. They all give me a friendly smile as Chris rattles off their names; a wasted effort since I’ll never remember them all.
“Y/N?” One of the girls says and I squint at her in confusion before recognition hits. “Hi, Abby!” I answer, relieved to know at least one other person besides Chris.
The girl next to her, Kayla, tosses Abby an annoyed look and scrunches up her nose. “How do you know her?”
I listen as Abby explains how we met in her store as Chris leads me to the chair across from her and pulls it out for me.
One of the boys, Jason, who I remember Chris describing as his best friend, leans across the table giving me a mischievous smirk. “So you’re the girl haunting our group chat, huh?”
Tossing a look at Chris as he settles next to me, I smile and shake my head. “I don’t think so. Your boy here hates me.”
Jason laughs and opens his mouth to say something but Chris cuts in quickly. “What’s everybody drinking? I’ll get a round.”
Everyone shrugs and says they’re good with whatever but their eyes all seem to settle on me as if I’ll need a special order. I roll my eyes, agreeing softly that anything is fine.
Chris heads off to the bar and the boys turn back to each other starting up a conversation about sports. Kayla stares me down, flipping her jet-black hair over her shoulder, and I narrow my eyes back.
“What were you from again, Amber?” She asks sweetly, feigning innocence.
“Y/N.” One of the other girls corrects, but they lower their eyes to the table when Kayla glares at them. She turns back to me, poking her lip out in a forced pout. “Oops, sorry. That’s right. That was Chris’ last hoe of the week.”
I smile widely, knowing she thought that would really get me. “Interesting. Which week were you?” I ask, adopting her sickly sweet tone.
This is a game I've played before, and I've won it in the past.
The table goes quiet as she sneers at me before Jason barks out a laugh and Abby fights back a smile.
“Don’t be bitter, Kayla baby. You know I’m still single.” He says as he slings an arm over her shoulders. She turns to him and sniffles before knocking his arm off. “Shut up, Jay.”
I strike up a conversation with Abby and the other two girls about their shoes until Chris finally returns with the drinks.
He sets the tray in the middle of the table before he comes back to his seat and leans in to whisper in my ear. “You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to. Hank only serves us the real cheap shit.”
I pull back and give him a look of disbelief. “You think I’ve never had cheap vodka?”
Kayla snorts across the table and I glance over at her, starting to get annoyed with her attitude. “What’s cheap to you? Forty dollars? Please. You’re strung up tighter than a corset.”
“You got an issue?” Chris asks, leaning forward and staring at her until she sits back. I place a hand on his arm and smile, shrugging my shoulders. “It’s fine. Wanna see a party trick I learned?” I ask the table.
When they agree, I lean forward and pick up a shot glass with my mouth, tilting my head back and rotating it with my tongue until the liquid splashes down my throat. When it’s gone, I lower the glass back to the table, all the while keeping my arms at my sides. “No hands.” I sing, giggling a bit when the table starts to whoop and cheer for me.
“Alright, that was kinda cool, Scotch, I’ll give you that. But can you do this?” Chris says, grabbing a glass of Guinness from the tray and chugging it down until he splits the G.
I smile at him and shrug. “Maybe not but mine was more impressive.” I tease as he wipes his mouth.
“You’re right, it was. Teach me how to do it.” He says, reaching down and grabbing the base of my chair to slide me closer to him.
*********************************************************
“So you actually want to try not to hit the white ball into the pocket,” I call out with a grin. “I don’t know if you knew that or not.”
“Oh yeah. Thanks. That was real helpful.” Chris yells back sarcastically as he digs out the ball.
I’m sitting on a decently comfy chair in the back of the bar watching Chris get obliterated in pool. The rest of the girls went to join line dancing, something I was definitely not ready for, so I decided to stay back.
Jason sinks the 8 ball into the pocket, grinning and holds his hand out for payment.
“No way you’re not cheating,” Chris says as he slaps a twenty into his friend’s palm. He sighs and comes back over to me, bracing a hand on either arm of the chair and leaning down. “And you. Ain’t you supposed to be my good luck charm or something?”
I shrug noncommittally. “I tried. I can only do so much.”
“Is that right?” He says laughing as he reaches down and grabs my sides causing me to squirm. God, I regret the day I ever let him find out I was ticklish.
Someone calls Chris’ name and he turns, saving me from my torture. “Hank the man!”
A man who looks about my dad’s age steps around and gives us both a wide smile. He’s got kind eyes and the type of receding hairline that just makes me want to trust him.
“What’s going on with you, huh? You come into my spot and you don’t give me a wink!”
“Aw, you know it’s not like that. I was a little distracted.” He answers, nodding his head back at me and sending heat up my neck.
Hank looks back over at me and extends a hand, introducing himself. “You must be Y/N.”
“Don’t say that. She’s gonna think I sit around talking about her all day.” Chris sighs in fake annoyance.
“Don’t worry. I already assumed you did.” I chime in, laughing. Hank chuckles and taps Chris on the chest. “I like her. Keep her close.”
Chris smiles over at me, electricity humming between us. “Trying to figure out how to do that as we speak.” He admits.
I study him, wanting nothing more than to stand and kiss him with every bit of emotion I can muster but refrain.
“Well, you better figure it out. I ain’t seen a beauty like that in this town since your mama.” Hank jokes, nudging a shoulder against Chris’. And before he even responds, I sense the change in the atmosphere.
Chris narrows his eyes, his nostrils flaring out as he levels the man with a stare. “Shut your fucking mouth about that.”
Hank looks startled, clearly not meaning any offense but Chris storms out of the bar before he can apologize. The bell over the exit announcing his departure.
I stand there dumbly for a second before I follow him out, calling his name. He slows slightly, looking over his shoulder at me, but the fire in his eyes hasn't cooled a bit.
“Not now, Y/N.” He snaps as we reach the car, going around to the driver’s side and slamming it shut before I can even open my door. I hesitate for a second and he lays on the horn as if I’m taking an hour. Biting back my irritation, I hop into the truck silently, stealing looks at his hardened profile as he speeds out of the parking lot.
Once a bit of time has passed, I chance speaking, hoping to help him out of this sour mood. “Are you alright?”
He chuckles bitterly, shaking his head in annoyance. “Stop pretending like you care.”
“Excuse me?” I ask, turning my body towards him and hardening my eyes.
“You heard me. Why does it matter? You ain’t my girl. You’re just some broad who’s gonna fly out of here in a couple of months and never look back.” He rants, his breathing heavy.
I blink at him for a few seconds trying to reconcile this boy next to me with the one who I just spent the night with. Before I give him the satisfaction of knowing he hurt me, I turn away, whispering a quiet “okay”, and focus on the passing town.
When we pull up in front of the house, Chris opens his mouth as if to say something but I quickly toss the door open and slide out. Not allowing myself even the slightest glance at his face, I slam the door shut and head inside.
And just like every time I’ve ever gone out with Jace, I end the night wondering where exactly I went wrong.
🏷️/ @sturniolho @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @mrsmiagreer @asturniolos
@teapartyprincess4two @whicked-hazlatwhore @sukiipjs @accio326 @sturniolosmind @imfromthediningtable @st4rswrld @thvvluvr @sturnssmuts @littlenerdybee @sturniolossss @iloveneilperry @eclipzw @chrissloverrrrrrr16 @sstvrnioloo @clemlament @fwskullz
@luv4kozume @xoxo4chrisss @lacysturniolo
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hellcat8908 · 1 month
Text
Love Lost Azriel x Reader
Warnings: Miscarriage, Emotional Hurt, Angst
All it took was the loss of your unborn child to create a rift in your relationship with Azriel. The moment Madja broke the news, he shut down and, by doing so, shut you out. You were left to process the grief and guilt by yourself as Azriel found every excuse to be gone. He always came home late and left early. He hadn't touched you in weeks and could barely look at you.
You tried to get him to come back to you in the beginning, but it always ended in a fight with him walking out. You eventually gave up and hoped he would work through it on his own. The bond you shared had grown dark and cold on both ends. You knew you were standing at a fork in the road but refused to make a choice, leaving you stuck. Azriel made the decision for you without even realizing it.
You were visiting Feyre and Nesta at the river house. Azriel was with Rhys and Cassian in the study. You were drinking tea and talking about books when you heard shouting from the study. Feyre and Nesta started walking towards the commotion with you behind. "She needs you!" Rhys shouts. "Stay out of my relationship! Just give me the assignment and let me be on my way!" Azriel shouts back. "No, you're not working until you deal with your grief!" Rhys states, noticing Feyre and Nesta enter.
You linger in the hall not wanting to make matters worse. "What's going on?" Feyre asks. "Rhys needs someone to check on the camps but won't send me!" Azriel says lowering his tone towards Feyre. She studies him for a minute, "Az, I don't think..." she starts to say but stops when you step into the room. "Let him go, if he wants." You say as everyone looks at you, well everyone but him. "Are you sure?" Rhys asks. "You can't be serious?!" Cassian and Nesta say in unison. "Let him." You say before turning away and leaving, not caring to hear anymore.
You make your way home and settle in on the couch. A while later, the door opens, and Azriel walks in. You ignore him as he moves about grabbing what he needs. "What were you doing at the river house?" He asks. "I was visiting Feyre and Nesta." You answer. "Don't you have other friends? Friends who aren't a part of my family." He says. "Your family?!" You shout as anger builds up inside of you. "They're my family too. They've been more of a family to me than you have lately." You say. "You so selfish! You can't just let me have one thing, can you?!" He shouts.
"You're seriously calling me selfish? Maybe you should look in the mirror." You say. "You're the most selfish person I know y/n!" He says. "Oh yes, I'm so selfish to sit back and watch you pine over Elain when it was killing me, or when I'm not sure you'll make it home alive but don't beg you to stay because of how much you love this court and your family, or how selfish of me to lose your unborn child!!!" You scream as tears flood your eyes. "I'm so selfish to stay here and give you space to grief while I barely hold myself together. Go on your mission, Azriel, bury yourself in work, and keep ignoring me. When you walk out that door, though, just remember you made the decision."
His anger building at your words, too upset to fully understand the subtle ultimatum you gave him. He crosses to the door and walks out before soaring towards the sky. You feel the last of your heart break. After the tears have dried up, you quickly pack a bag of clothes before writing a note.
Azriel,
I can not do this anymore. You made your choice, and by doing so, you've made mine. I hope someday you'll be able to deal with your grief in a healthy way. I know you love me once, and I love you, but now love isn't enough anymore, not for us.
- y/n.
You leave the note on the counter with the dagger you planned to give him after the baby had been born. You take one last look at the house before you winnowed to autumn. Eris had agreed to let you stay after you had reached out to him, knowing it might come to this, no matter how badly you had hoped it wouldn't.
Next Part: 2
362 notes · View notes
furicookiebndz · 2 months
Text
Lucifer x !FemReader : My old friend
Hello everyone, it is my first time writing this, i hope it will be good enough, have fun! This fan art isn't mine. Full credits to the amazingly talented artist/creator.
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It has been thousands of years since evil began.
Lucifer, whose pride blinded him, attempted to dethrone the creator, only to ultimately fail and be banished from Paradise.
Lilith, who refused to submit to Adam, in turn fled from this magical place, but which hides many facades.
Yet few people know that with them, a third person flew out of Paradise. And even rarer are people who know the cause, 3 to be precise.
However, behind this unusual act lie very dark secrets, seen as…
-Can you stop, Vag'? You're giving me a headache.
The young woman turned her head towards the source of this execrable voice, a spider who was visibly lying carefree on the sofa, arms behind her head, a bored expression on her face.
Refraining from answering him, she continued:
Tragic, some thought it was another rebellious woman, others a fallen angel because of a serious crime, but that wasn't logical, what's worse than to confront the creator?"
-That doesn't help all of us, the young woman noted, running her hand through her hair, frustrated.
-It would be beneficial to have her on our side, especially if she has such a significant influence on the world of the living and beyond, Charlie concluded thoughtfully.
-But she hid from the world, living as a hermit. Many think it's a myth, but given what's been happening lately, I believe it's much more present than sinners think.
Vaggie rubbed her temples, trying to come up with an idea.
-Who the hell are you talking about? I hate it when you pretend to be Sherlock and leave me like the old cookie in the back of the cupboard.
-Are you interested in what we do? retorted Vaggie sarcastically
-No, more about why you were busting my balls, joked Angel.
-You don't even have one, asshole, mumbled quietly Husk, taking a sip of his cheap booze.
-Want to check~? It is free for you kitty cat.
-Not even for a thousand balls, growled quietly Husk, who was beginning to lose his patient.
-Ouuh finally a price there is progress, Daddy, the spider sent him a kiss
Alastor, who was reading a book by the fireplace, decided to speak
-Charlie, Darling, you seem concerned about this person Let me see…
He seemed surprised for a moment, before smiling more, if possible.
-My my, what a terrible coincidence. The person you are looking for is one of the most sought after. Didn't Lucifer tell you about Lady (Y/N)?
-Um… We're not exactly talking about all that-
“Daddy issues,” Husk muttered.
Alastor continued:
-As reported in this document, she flew away shortly after your parents. She was a person living in Heaven, she was not human, but not an angel entirely though, she had two pairs of wings, although she is the appearance of a mortal, yet she had her own power, not to be underestimated. She embodied humor, justice and determination. In short, all these things that are way too boring-
-Cut it short, Alastor, Vaggie said, snapping her fingers.
-But when Lucifer challenged God, she did not follow him, not because she had to beat him, but because he knew just as well as she did that what he was doing was wrong. For the first time in her life she felt an immense disappointment in the love he had once inspired in her, and the semblance of a relationship that was perhaps tending to end disappeared with the appearance of the first demon, your father, Charlie.
However, you are aware that shortly after the creation of Lilith, she quickly became friends with your mother, and when she flew away from Paradise, and she learned the cause, she entered in a black anger, so black that Gabriel had difficulty in containing it, Until then, she had always been obedient, never contesting the decisions, which were of infallible Justice, but this departure had torn away part of her herself. She confronted the lord, she tried to rally the others to her cause, but nothing changed. Disappointed, she left that place, and no one ever saw her again.
There was a heavy silence for a moment, before Angel said:
-So…Is she still a virgin?
Vaggie rolled her eyes before Charlie had an idea:
I'm sure she's not that far away. Maybe I should ask my father to contact her again. She must care about him, at least I hope so, and if I convince her, Gabriel won't be able to object!
Vaggie refrained from adding a comment, she knew it was too good to be able to do it, but in front of her girlfriend's adorable face, she couldn't refuse anything.
______________________________________________________________
-No, Lucifer said firmly, before Charlie could even finish his idea.
-But dad-
-End of discussion, I don't want to hear anything, he turned around and mechanically squeezed the rubber duck in his hand, like an anti-stress ball.
Lucifer seemed elsewhere, deep in thought. His friend, his old friend…
.
.
.
“Luciferrrrr!” A burst of joy appeared as she walked towards him, a smile on her lips, a book in her hands.
Lucifer as usual had a lyre in his hands. He looked up at Y/N and smiled.
One discussion led to another, he shared his ideas about the mortal world, while she agreed with some and shared her opinion on others. They would sometimes just stay silent, or she would read aloud from a book, and he would then accompany her with his lyre.
Such a beautiful memory…
.
.
.
Why Lucifer?! Why did you do this?
This same friend was there with her eyes filled with tears, disappointed in him.
Lucifer looked down. One mistake, just one mistake, had caused him to lose those he considered family, and his closest friend.
He wanted to tell her that it was just a misunderstanding, that it was for the best, but the damage was already done.
He took Lilith's hand and without a word, left for their new home.
The young woman, in tears, could only watch them leave, the man she loved and her friend, without being able to do anything, because her principles prevented her. Gabriel placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and said nothing. If she knew, he couldn't imagine how she would have reacted
.
.
.
-Dad?
Lucifer seemed to come out of his thoughts and focused on a family portrait. Lilith was already gone, after their separation he only had his daughter left, and after a second of thought he sighed and said:
-I'll see what I can do…
-It's true? Oh thank you Dad, thank you thank you thank you!, cried Charlie enthusiastically.
She took him in her arms, and Lucifer said to himself that finally, if having a hug from his daughter meant having to seek the 7 rings of Hell and even the beyond, he would do it without complaining.
Now all that remained was to find it, the most complicated part…
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucifer, Charlie and the hotel members thought for several days, using all their knowledge and powers to find her. If she was neither in Hell, nor in Heaven, or even in the mortal world, she must be between the latter options-
Lucifer suddenly had an idea, remembering a conversation they had shared long ago, and he cast an incantation, which opened a portal to a world- no, a unique place, so messy and blurry, and yet so… familiar, as if he were…
“In the middle of a dream,” Charlie whispered softly. The rest of the team followed her, looking around curiously. Lucifer asked himself so many questions, was it a place where souls rested between life and death? He did not know it. After all, the soul left the body for a while when it slept, that would explain the place.
-Who are you? I sense human souls, but something else…
They saw several women advancing, of great beauty, similar to fairies, but armed, ready to defend themselves, if it was not for another who stopped them by raising her hand, she advanced slowly, and Lucifer recognized her completely. right now.
-(Y/N)..Lucifer seemed upset to see her, and tried to pull himself together by talking to himself. "Ok, Ok. It's going to be okay buddy, you can do it, you can do it", When he met her gaze, he lost all his courage and hid behind Charlie.
-Dad!
-What? I-I'm just covering your back Charlie.
-At least what I thought of you is true, you're just a sissy Lucifer, Alastor sneered.
You looked at him for a moment, the man you had loved for thousands of years, it was..strange. You didn't know whether you should greet him or hit him.
-Lucifer, what is the honor of this visit worth to me? In 10,000 years you have never had the decency to come visit me.
Sarcasm. Something unusual about you, he couldn't help but admire you. Your two pairs of wings were now grey, but your eyes were still this soft (e/c) shade, but now full of resentment, and perhaps.. mockery?
-And you, you must be his daughter, mhh?
You moved closer to her and observed her suspiciously, while she was sweating profusely, and Vaggie seemed on the edge on attacking you, and to her surprise, you smiled widely and took her in your arms, with surprising strength.
-My lord you are his carbon copy, so pretty~, you squish her cheek cheeks and gush about her, while she laughs awkwardly.
Everyone was stunned by how fast the tension dissipates, and the women behind you giggle, seemingly aware by how fast your emotions tend to change. Lucifer smiles, maybe he still had a chance..
-But you seem so polite, unlike some, you cast a dark look at Lucifer, and greeted the others with a sympathetic and curious look, their offering to sit down for a while to talk.
...maybe not finally.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
-If I understood everything, you created a hotel to rehabilitate sinners… and are trying to convince Heaven, is that right?
She nodded and Lucifer tried to add something, but you stopped him:
-I don't speak with traitors and liars, especially if they forget to send me a life message for eons.
Lucifer doesn't say anything wanting to make anything worse. He knew he was wrong, and sighed heavily.
(Y/N)-1 Lucifer-0.
-Damn, this girl is awesome, Angel whispered excitedly.
Vaggie continued:
-Lady (Y/N), you still have decent relationship with heaven.Could you try talking to some highers-up about it? Like Gabrie-
-No, this thing is no longer part of my circle of close friends, I can still try to talk about it again with Sera and Emily, but I can't do anything with the other weirdo.
Charlie felt hopeless, and she took your hands and looked at you with a miserable expression.
-I beg you, you must speak to him, my people are dying every year at the hands of the exorcists, and I-I cannot stand by and do nothing. Can you try..?
At his beaten puppy look, you widened your eyes, it was exactly-
Please don't tell them where I was, Lucifer pleaded with adorable eyes. You sighed but smiled, nodding your head.
-Well, i will. But I'm not promising anything though-
-Thank you thank you thank you, she hugged you, and you hugged her back with a smile.
Lucifer felt his heart beat faster, these two women who are precious to him have finally met, and got along better than he expected.
Now all he had to do was sort out one last problem.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Explanations were made. You listened patiently, and after a while you answered:
-Why Lucifer, didn't you tell me before? I-I thought I was your friend.
Lucifer held her gaze, and for the first time in millennia he took his courage in both hands and took hers:
-I didn't want to see your disappointed look, I know I made a mistake, but I only thought about doing the right thing. And I-
-You got scared?
He nodded, and you sighed:
-I don't blame you, at least not anymore.
He raised his eyes, feeling a bit of hope, and feeling Charlie's encouraging look, he continued:
-So, can we try again? I mean our relationship- Well our friendship!
He blushed slightly and you chuckled softly:
-Yes, always Lucifer.
244 notes · View notes
lendeah · 3 months
Text
Eclipsed Reverie
Pairing: AstarionxFem!Tav
Summary: As the final battle with the Nether Brain looms, Astarion and Tav share a bittersweet night together, their hearts heavy with the knowledge that it may be their last.
Tags: fluff, smut and a tiny bit of angst. Very soft Astarion :( also biting stuff!
Word count: 5.3k
Warnings: NSFW (minors dni).
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Under the shadowed canopy of the Baldur's Gate night, Astarion and I found a momentary reprieve from the impending battle. We have been strategizing the whole evening, and at this point there is nothing more we can do except rely on each other. I look at the man next to me, wondering when did we go from strategizing allies to something more. The moonlight catches the contours of Astarion's face, revealing a vulnerability that transcends his usual cheeky demeanor. There's a shared understanding in the silence, and as our eyes meet, unspoken words linger in the air. Despite his usual aristocratic charm, it now feels damp and heavy. Even with his vampiric strength, he seems weakened by the recent events. The battle against Gortash had taken its toll, leaving both Gale and Shadowheart heavily wounded.
The air is heavy with tension, but a shared understanding lingers between us two. "Are you scared?" I break the silence, although I already know the answer.
"Terrified, actually." Astarion turns to face me, expression serious for once, his red eyes gleaming softly in the night in a way that's somehow comforting. "I know that we've already faced worse odds together, but this time feels different, you know? Like, if anything happened to either one of us, it would rip the other's heart apart."
I force a little smile. "Good thing you don't have a heart then, or I'd be worried"
He snorts softly, smiling back at me. "Oh, the ever-present stereotype of heartless vampires. But fear not, my dear, I still have plenty of heart left - just not the beating kind you may be envisioning." A small laugh escapes my lips at his words, breaking the tension between us.
After a beat, he looks at me and reaches my hand across the blanklet we are sitting in, his voice dropping to a whisper. "And you, my dear, are you scared?"
I hold his gaze, feeling a shiver run down my spine at the intensity. "Of course I am," I reply softly. "But I have faith in us, Astarion. We've faced so much together and we always come out stronger."
He nods "You're right," he says, a hint of pride in his voice. "We make a good team." he makes a little pause, and adds "Mainly thanks to me, of course. My lethal blattle skills are the only reason you weirdos are still breathing."
Astarion's usual smugness returns as he breaks the intense moment between us. I roll my eyes, knowing that deep down he's just masking his own fears with his bravado. But I also know that his skills in battle are not to be underestimated. He has saved our group from countless threats with his agility and cunning tactics.
"Let's just hope our luck holds out," I reply, trying to convince myself more than him.
"Oh come on, have a little faith in me," Astarion teases, nudging me playfully. "I may be a vampire but I'm not invincible. I need all the help I can get."
I chuckle, squeezing his hand. As we continue to bask in the moonlit serenity, a gentle breeze rustles the leaves above us, carrying with it the distant sounds of the city. From the rooftop of this abandoned building we are alble to look at the whole city, the small lights flickering in the night. I look at him, and find him staring at the view lost in his own thoughts. I fight the urge to scream how utterly frightened I am of losing him, of losing all our friends. Of not being able to save the people of Baldur's Gate. That everything we did, every death, was for nothing.
When his gaze returns to me, I can sense he sees past my facade, his eyes full of understanding and acceptance. "It's funny you are scared right now," he muses, his gaze searching mine, "there are so many things that you fearlessly face every day. Battling against a horde of mind flayers? Easy. Blowing up a whole building full of firework? A piece of cake. But sleeping among a throng of grunting and snoring druids? That's enough to make you quiver with dread." I laugh, thinking back to the time when I almost had a heart attack when I heard Halsin's snores, thinking there was a boar in the camp.
With a small smile, he pulls me to him, and lets his lips brush against my forehead in a tender gesture. The warmth of his touch soothes away some of my anxiety. I look up at Astarion, and the emotions I've been holding back start surging through me. "I can't bear to lose you," I say, barely above a tremble. He deserves happiness after all he's been through, and I just wish I could give it to him.
"It's funny you should say that... Because I'd say the exact same thing about you." His hand wraps around mine, his other hand moving up to gently cup my face. "I've tried for 200 years to find a purpose, a reason to keep going, and it was only when I met you that this aimless meandering had a goal. I've loved others, and I've been loved before, but never like this. Never with someone like you."
A surge of warmth fills my chest as I listen to his words, and I can't help but lean into his touch. Astarion's eyes are soft and full of sincerity, a side of him that he rarely shows. But in this moment, with the weight of the world on our shoulders, he is opening up to me.
"I've never felt like I belonged anywhere before," he continues, running his thumb along my cheekbone. "But with you and the others...I finally feel like I have a home."
In that moment, my vulnerability and affection shines through as a tear slids down my cheek. He pulls me closer, the embrace is warm and desperate, with my face pressed against his skin as if trying to take in every part of him. His scent is intoxicating - leather and smoke blending together - and I can't help but breathe it in deeply, etching it into my memory like a treasure. I tenderly press my lips to the bite mark on his neck, knowing it’s his sensitive spot. He inhales sharply, his breath hitching at the sensation of my mouth on him. I feel his hands grip onto me, needing to keep me close, and I end up nestled on top of him, our bodies fitting together perfectly like puzzle pieces.
"You know... I am not ashamed to admit that I have never felt the kind of attraction I feel for you. Even those first days in the grove with you... My heart was pounding, because I thought you were so incredibly beautiful. I was so drawn to you, it was like you were made just for me and me alone." I blush slightly in response, realizing I will probably never get used to this. Never get used to him.
"I liked you since you put a dagger in my throat and I headbutted you so hard you almost passed out" I whisper in his ear, with a small smile playing on my lips.
"That was an excellent headbutt, though. I couldn't believe you were able to stand immediately after that." He shakes his head, smiling as he presses a series of kisses to my hair, my cheeks, and finally, his lips find mine.
I sigh against him, his touch so very familiar, his mouth awakening something in me from the moment it touches mine. As our kiss deepens, I feel my body melting into his, my arms wrapping around his neck as his hands roam over my back and waist. The heat between us is intoxicating, and I can't get enough of him. My hands tangle in his hair, pulling him closer as our tongues dance together in a passionate rhythm. His hands gently trail up my sides, fingertips caressing my body softly through my clothes, while his tongue dancing with mine in a rhythm that I have become all too privy to.
Desire sweeps over me like a wave crashing against the shore, my senses heightened to the point of almost overwhelming. I force myself to pull away for just a few seconds, needing to catch my breath and take in the sight before me. His once bright, piercing eyes have now transformed into pools of darkness, consumed by an insatiable hunger. I look at his lips, parted and glistening, showing those fangs I have grown to love so much.
"My love," I whisper, my voice trembling with anticipation. "Would you like to feed on me?" It's a question I have asked countless times before, but each time feels like the first, igniting a fire within me that can only be quenched by his bite.
There's a flicker of surprise, and then satisfaction, on his face as I ask him. His eyes flicker downward, his gaze wandering down my neck, tracing every vein he'll find there. His nose flares, breath growing heavy and my body thrums with anticipation and excitement. When he looks back at me, the hunger in his eyes grows, and with a small chuckle, he lets out a slow breath.
"My dear... You know I could never say no to such delicious meal."
My breath hitches, as his hands confidently and carefully press me onto my back, his fingers gently removing the collar of my shirt to reveal my neck. I take a deep breath, bracing myself for what's to come. He brushes away a strand of hair that has fallen across my face, just like he did the first time he fed on me all those months ago. His strong hands hold me steady as he leans in, and the warmth of his breath washes over me. I have to fight the urge to squirm as his lips press against my skin, trailing down to my collarbone where his teeth break through the surface. A sharp sting pierced my skin, and I can’t help but let out a moan. I can feel his tongue swirling around the wound as he feeds, his breathing becoming more labored with each passing second. My heartbeat races with excitement as Astarion's teeth sank deeper into my neck, drawing out more blood. He growls softly, his grip on me tightening as he feeds greedily. The world around me begins to fade as the vampire venom courses through my veins, clouding my mind and heightening my senses. He bit again, this time just below the first wound, and I could feel myself growing weaker yet more alive at the same time. The lack of blood starts to get to my mind, making me lightheaded. It was both terrifying and arousing, knowing that I was being drained of life while also experiencing a rush of pleasure unlike anything else.
He keeps the bite going for just a little bit longer, before eventually pulling away.
"Mmmm. I always worry that I'll drink too much from you, but you always seem to make it through just fine?" he says, his voice rough with desire.
I laugh groggily "I think I enjoy myself a little too much when you drink from me".
Astarion chuckles softly, a hand stroking my neck affectionately.
"As much as I hate to admit it, you're quite delicious. There's something about your flavor that keeps me coming back for more." he purred, flashing a sly grin. "Just like how you can't resist my charms. Always coming back like a pretty little pup."
I roll my eyes playfully at his cocky remark but can't help the small smile that tugs at my lips. My thoughts are interrupted as Astarion shifts closer again. His body presses against mine and I can feel his breath on my face as he leans in. Our eyes lock for a brief moment before our lips meet in a passionate kiss.
He tastes like blood and something else entirely that is uniquely Astarion. It's an intoxicating combination that leaves my head dizzy with desire, making me want more.
I reach to the back of his head and curl my fingers in his soft strands of white hair, giving it a sharp tug. He groans, and I deepen the kiss, electricity cursing through me as I grab at every piece of him that I can. Every kiss grows longer and deeper, and I cling to him like I will drown without him, wanting nothing more than to spend what's left of tonight buried in his touch. His breathing grows heavier, but his grip on me is firm, steady. His hands wander over my body, one trailing down my waist and the other moving upwards slowly, to slide beneath my shirt.
"Mmm - my my, look at you." His whisper is filled with a teasing affection. "It seems like the venom has already put you in a mood." My breath catches and I lock my legs together. His grin grows wider as he watches my eager reaction. His hands keep caressing my body softly, and his voice is lower than usual, his words almost a growl. "Feeling a bit overwhelmed already, are we?"
I can only nod frantically as he leans in for another kiss. Our bodies move together in a rhythm that feels familiar yet new every time we're together like this. I moan in response, my head swimming with the taste of him, the feeling of him everywhere, and his smell, gods, that smell. He separates for a second, removing both my shirt and pants in a swift move, and leaving me exposed in nothing but my underwear. Every nerve ending in my body hums with anticipation as I await bare before him.
The way he looks at me, the way his eyes wander over my every curve, is intoxicating - and not just because of the venom. He traces his hand over my skin, his fingers slowly caressing every inch. His fingertips gently graze over my chest, brushing against the fabric of my underwear, and then his hand slips underneath the bra. I squirm beneath his touch, my breath catching, my excitement clearly showing as I arch my back. "Y-you are still fully dressed" I say, as I reach for his shirt. But before I can even lift the fabric, he grips my wrist firmly, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Oh no, my dear, you see... I have a different plan."
With a sudden movement, he presses his lips to the still sensitive skin under my neck, sending shivers down my spine. His tongue flicks at the punctures, his teeth gently nipping at it, until I can’t focus on anything else but the sensation of his touch. The weight of his hands on me was almost suffocating, but at the same time, it only adds to the pleasure coursing through my body. Overwhelmed with pain and pleasure, I let out a moan, louder this time, thanking the gods for being in a secluded area far away from the rest of our companions.
"I-I need to see you". I gasp, my thoughts scattered and my body yearning for him.
"Need?" Astarion leans in again, his voice dripping with honey. "Oh I know how much you need me." A mischievous glint dances in his eyes as he continues, "But don't forget about want and desire - I promise I can fulfill all of your cravings." His grin widens, as if he's sharing a delightful secret.
His hand tightens slightly, and his grin only widens. "Now, would you like to try asking me again, but with more pleading?"
"Please" I whisper, my voice barely audible even in the quiet of our secluded spot. Astarion's smirk widens even more, and he leans in close until our noses are almost touching.
"Please what?" he taunts, his hot breath tickling my skin.
My cheeks flush with embarrassment as I realize that he wants me to say it out loud. To admit how much I crave him, how much I need him. But then again, isn't that exactly what I want? To let go of all inhibitions and give myself completely to him?
"Please...I need you," I murmur, feeling a mixture of shame and arousal wash over me.
Astarion's smile turns into a satisfied grin as he loosens his grip on my wrist and leans back slightly. "Good girl. That's perfect." he purrs, before he pushes back, slowly stripping the rest of his clothes off, till he's just as exposed as I am right now. "Do you have any idea just how exhilarated I am right now?" His words are playful, his eyes twinkling as he leans forward. "All of this, this energy that's in my blood... and it's all your fault." He leans in again over my body, his breath fanning my lips "What are you going to do about it, my dear?"
I can’t help but feel a thrill run down my spine at the thought of being able to turn the tables on him for once. I reach out and grab onto his shoulders, pulling him closer until our lips were inches away from each other.
"I'll show you," I whisper.
"I bet you will…” Astarion leans in, his breath hot and sharp as he inches even closer. Then he pulls back, a devilish grin on his lips. It's clear he's enjoying this.
With a quick, fluid motion, I thrust my hands against his chest and roll on top of him. Despite the chaos and danger of our quests, I can't help but feel grateful for the physical strength and endurance it has given me in moments like these.
I take the moment to admire the beautiful lines of his body, the way his pale and smooth skin seems to shine under the moonlight, the curves and planes of his stomach and chest. My eyes linger on the stretch just below his navel and traveling south. My mouth waters at the sight of him, never used to his beauty doesn't matter how many times I see him like this. His muscles flex and tense under my gaze, and he watches me, his breath growing as ragged as mine is. He smiles widely, enjoying my staring at him so intensely.
"Enjoying the view?" He smirks at my admiration. "Is that all I am to you? A beautiful body?"
My own lips turn up in a sly smile as I tease him. "Well, let's just say you're not bad, but have you seen Gale without his shirt on? Now that is some tough competition."
I was expecting to see a jealous reaction, but instead he bursts out laughing. "You are a menace! I am a gorgeous, beautiful creature. Gale is... not unattractive, I suppose. But he also looks like someone glued bird wings to his hair and called it a day." He reaches out with a hand to gently trace his fingers down the lines of my stomach. "Mhmm..." I release a content sigh and take my hands to his chest and shoulders, caressing the smooth expanse of skin there. "Although I admit, I am way more curious about Wyll" I say, and then turning my voice into a whisper I add "You can grab his horns if you get really into it"
He laughs again, his mouth curling into a mocking smile. "Oh, you're curious about him, are you?" He shifts below me, his hips pressing against mine."Well, I should warn you - his horns aren't the only sharp part of him. He has a very sensitive spot, and he might just stab you if you try..."
I laugh lightly "You stab me everyday with those fangs of yours, so I think I'm used to it"
His voice growls low and deep, sending shivers down my spine. "Is that so?" he asks, the words dripping with a mixture of amusement and challenge.
My own breath catches as I feel his hips rise to meet mine again, the fabric of our underwear the only barrier between us. The sensation of his erection pressing against me in just the right spot sends a jolt of electricity through my body. "Maybe you should go to him instead, then" he taunts with a smirk, a knowing glint in his eyes. "But, then again, what would he say if he saw you like this?" His words are punctuated by another forceful thrust and I can't help but release a small moan in response. "Wrecked and bruised. Marked by me"
An uncontrollable moan escapes my lips as I start rocking my hips back and forth, the friction sending waves of pleasure throughout my body. I find purchase on his chest and scratch the skin there, hard enough to leave a mark.
"And you would like that, wouldn’t you?" His breath catches as my movements become faster, more aggressive. He knows what he's doing, and he enjoys seeing how it affects you. "Would you like for him to see you like that, with my marks on you? Knowing what we did? Would you want him to know that I had you first?"
"Yes, I would love for him to know that," I confess out of breath, as I struggle against the intense urges that fill me.
He lets out a low, guttural groan and appears to be finished with our playful game. He swiftly maneuvers my body back beneath his own.
With a quick and eager movement, I discard my now ruined underwear and he follows suit, shedding his own. My legs curve around his waist, drawing him closer to me as I feel the heat emanating from his body. As my hands roam over his back, I can't help but trace the raised lines of scar tissue, a reminder of battles fought and won. My heart swells with love for this man, and I plant gentle kisses along his shoulder, speckled with tiny freckles that resemble a dazzling constellation. Gods he is so breathtakengly beautiful. "None of our companions would make me half as happy as you do" I murmur against his pointed ear. His body tenses, and I can feel the emotions warring within him. "I know," he replies softly, turning to capture my lips in a deep kiss.
His hand squeezes down against my thigh, his fingers slowly working their way up my leg. His eyes find mine again, a flicker of recognition in them. And then he thrusts in deep, our hips colliding in loud smacking sound. My hips buck forward to meet his, the friction making me a wreck.
"Astarion," I whisper, arching my back and wrapping my arms around him. He groans and leans down to catch my lips in a searing kiss, and we both find ourselves struggling for air. My hands grip his shoulders, nails digging in slightly as my body responds to the intensity of the moment. I am panting as his thrusts start becoming harder and harder each second. Pleasure ripples through me, every touch turning me on fire. I glance up at him, and find his eyes tightly shut in concentration. "Please look at me," I whisper, my voice trembling with desire.
His eyes fly open at my plea, and I can see the raw pleasure mirrored in their depths. The way my body moves against his elicits soft moans from him, his gaze dropping down to take in the way our bodies fit together perfectly, the spot where our bodies connect. When he lifts his eyes back on me, is with a look of adorarion. His chest rises and falls rapidly as he leans in, pressing his nose against mine in an intimate gesture.
"I love when you beg for me, darling" he whispers, as his hips begin moving even harder, his thrusts quicker, rougher, and his body is so close now that it's almost like we are merging into one being.
Astarion's words send a shiver down my spine, and I cling onto him tighter as he continues to move inside me. Each thrust sends shocks of pleasure through my body, igniting every nerve ending and driving me closer to the edge.
"Please," I moan, my voice barely above a whisper as I tilt my hips up to meet his. He brings his fingers down to the place where we are connected, and touches my nub with vigor. I cry out at the feeling, my nails now fully scratching his back. His free fingers dig into the skin of my hips as his pace quickens, his breaths coming in shallow gasps. My teeth find their way to his neck, and I bite down with wild possessiveness. My brain buzzes with pleasure, and I can’t control the sensations coursing through me. The orgasm hits me like a bolt of lightning, causing me to open my mouth in a silent scream and cling onto him with my locked legs. My whole body tenses, as the ecstasy doesn’t seem to end.
His fingers dig into my scalp, his breath is fast and shallow and his eyes are locked on my face. I feel his body tense, the pleasure of my orgasm driving him right to the edge - but he doesn't let go, not yet. I feel him start to lose control of his thrusts, and after a few hard pumps his body seizes and with a rough groan. With a final gasp, he collapses on top of me, holding me close as we both catch our breath. We caress each other’s bodies, helping to ground ourselves again.
When he opens his eyes, they sparkle with satisfaction and amusement. It’s such a familiar gesture that I get suddenly overwhelmed with my love for the man before me, and can’t help but reach for him as I start to cry heavily over his shoulder. Astarion's strong arms wrap around me, holding me close as I cry against his chest. He strokes my hair gently, whispering soothing words as he lets me release all of my emotions. Tears and snot mix together as I sob, my body shaking with the weight of everything that has happened.
After what feels like an eternity, my cries turn to sniffles and then eventually stop altogether. Astarion pulls back slightly, cupping my face in his hands and using his thumbs to wipe away the remaining tears on my cheeks.
"Are you okay?" he asks softly, searching my eyes for any signs of distress.
I nod, giving him a watery smile."It's just..." I gasp "I love you so much" I finally manage to say, my voice cracking with emotion. "I wish we didn't have to go tomorrow. I wish you could stay safe at camp"
At my words, a soft smile plasters on his face, and he pulls me closer, one arm wrapped around me in a protective embrace while the other hand gently strokes up and down my back.
"Oh my dear," he whispers softly. "Don't be sad. This was the only decision we could make, the only right choice for us." words dripping with love and reassurance."You taught me about making the right choices, remember?" He playfully smirks, his fingers brushing away some stray tears from my cheeks. After a few seconds, he adds "I promise you, we will come back from this all in one piece. We always do."
I nod "I know. I just wish we didn't have to be the heroes for once"
"I know, my dear," Astarion says with a sad smile. He kisses my forehead and I rest my head on his chest, his breathing calming me down little by little. He lazily draws figures on my back, as I do over his pec, laying in comfortable silence. The quiet is soothing to us both, after the intense moment we just shared. I can't help but notice that he's tracing a little circle on my back, the pattern of one of his many scars. This makes me smile to myself somehow, like I'm feeling even closer to him, if that's possible.
After a few seconds of silence, he looks down at me and his fingers fall still. "I love you, you know." he says "More than anything or anyone."
"Even more than your hair?" I ask teasingly, as I caress his face with my finger.
He feigns shock and puts a hand to his chest. "Don't be foolish now. Have you seen my locks? No one could possibly love anything more than my magnificent white curls."
His words are playful, but his expression grows serious "You are the most valuable thing in my life. The only one who's ever truly seen me, as I really am. The only one in the whole world who I don't have to hide a single piece of myself from." He tenderly presses his lips against the tip of my finger, sending a wave of fluttering butterflies throughout my stomach. His love for me is palpable and it fills me with warmth and joy.
He leans in and kisses me gently, his lips soft against mine as he pours all of his love into it. My heart swells with emotion as our lips move together in perfect harmony. In this moment, it feels like nothing else matters except for us and our love.
When we finally pull away, we both let out a content sigh and rest our foreheads against each other's. We fall asleep like that, our bodies intertwined in a mess of limbs as if we are one.
The warm rays of sunlight gently wake me up, and I find myself still wrapped in Astarion's embrace. His arms are tightly around me as if he's afraid to let go, and I can't help but smile at the sight.
I take a few moments to admire his sleeping figure. He has his eyes closed, with thick lashes falling over his cheeks. His hair falls lightly over his forehead, and I resist the urge to tuck it behind his ear.
I trace my fingers over his chest, feeling the rise and fall of it with each breath. In this peaceful moment, I am filled with gratitude for having him in my life. He has been my anchor through so much chaos and danger. Something inside me melts at the softness of his sleep, and in that moment, I can't help but wonder what things would be like if he were to stay with you like this - if I could have him, completely, without any worry about the world ending tomorrow. And you will I tell myself when you defeat that damned brain.
A soft snore escapes Astarion's lips and I chuckle softly. He stirs slightly, nuzzling closer to me as if sensing my presence. "Good morning," he mumbles against my neck, his voice husky from sleep.
"Good morning," I reply with a smile.
"Hmm. You're a cruel one, to wake me up when sleep is so nice. But I suppose I can allow that because you are cute."
"I couldn't stand your snoring any longer. I wonder how someone so beautiful can produce such horrible sound" I reply, trying to hide my amusement.
"Oh? I always thought my snores were just endearing! It's your fault, for being so sensitive that you can't just learn to live with them. Maybe I should just snore louder to drown out your complaining instead." I pretend to look wounded, but end up laughing uncontrollably. "You are the worst" I say, leaning against his chest.
"I'll admit, my talent for irritating you is very much a learned skill." He chuckles, then looks down at me as his arms slip on to my waist. "Besides," he adds with a grin, "I was only half joking with that last bit. I'll be sure to snore in your ear a little harder tonight. Just to make sure you get properly annoyed, hm?"
I playfully hit him in the chest, and then I grimly realize the sun is almost up, which means we have to leave. I sadly sigh as I untangle myself from his warm embrace and get up.
"We should probably get going," I say, trying to hide my own reluctance.
We quietly collect our clothes and dress ourselves, deep in thought at what awaits us. Silence fills the air between us two, as both of us take in the morning air. I feel the tension of the upcoming battle, and the dread is a weight upon us that makes it almost difficult to breathe. Our understanding is palpable through just a fleeting gaze and a silent nod. His warm hand reaches for mine, the gentle intertwining of our fingers conveying more than words ever could.
And at that moment, I can only hope that the next time my eyes open, he'll still be by my side. Hand in hand, we finally face the coming storm, the echo of shared whispers lingering in the air, a testament to the fragile beauty found in the darkest hours.
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thebiggerbear · 3 months
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Something Real - Soldier Boy x Reader
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Summary: You had offered him the chance for something the two of you could build, something real, if he gave up the suit for good.
Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female Reader
Warnings: angst, character death, implied violence, implied injuries, mentions of blood, mentions of terminal illness/treatments/effects, implied sex, Soldier Boy being himself at times, language (I guess?), tears, heartbreak - I think that pretty much covers everything
Word Count: 9434
A/N: Something I started writing back on Thanksgiving. I was hurting that day, needing heat to ease the pain, and I was working on something else for SB. This just popped into my head (the idea of "warm hands") so I ran with it. Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. I picked the name Violet because it's a bit of a reference to the other SB story I'm working on. Please let me know what you think (and please don't kill me).
I heard this song on a Soldier Boy fan edited video on YouTube and ever since then I can't get it out of my head for this one shot. It just makes me see Ben and the reader that much clearer in my mind.
SB Taglist: @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl; @brightlilith
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“I forgot how warm your hands are.”
Ben could feel his devastation threatening to overwhelm him but he quickly forced it away. He had to be strong for you; no time to be a pussy.
As if you had heard his thoughts, you gave him a sad smile, your own eyes starting to blur with unshed tears that you were trying to hold back yourself, not wanting to make this worse for him than you already knew it would be. But then it suddenly hit you that life was indeed short; what did it matter if you let your feelings surrounding your current circumstances show? You had never held back before. Why would you start now? So you let your tears flow but you did your best to turn them into happy tears so whenever he thought back to this moment, he wouldn’t see how scared or sad you really were. You were determined for him to never know the true depths of your fear or despair in this moment.
Instead, you weakly lifted your hand and placed it against his cheek, watching as he briefly closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. His green gaze settled on you once more and you could have sworn you could see a slight shimmer there but in the next moment, it was gone, so you couldn’t be entirely sure. 
Both of you were having flashes of the same memories that your words brought to mind. 
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You were both in bed, naked, you laying sprawled out over him, having just made love for the second time that evening. Ben always called it fucking but you refused to use that word to describe what the two of you did. Sure, he fucked you sometimes but things were more serious between you than you just being a bedwarmer of his or some random pussy for him to stick his dick into and get off as he’d crudely put it. 
They had been ever since you’d caught him by surprise one night after too much whiskey mixed with conversation and you kissed him ever so sweetly. He’d tried to turn it into something else — because he was who he was after all — but you wouldn’t let him. Something changed between you that night and an understanding began to form. If he wanted you, then he’d have to give up everything that wouldn’t allow him to keep you. That meant the women, the drugs, the bad behavior — all of it. You weren’t trying to change him, not at all, but you knew those things weren’t really the true make-up of who he was; it was a mere reflection of the suit and persona Vought encouraged, expected, and enforced. Ben made his own choices of course, but you knew he could do better, be better. And that’s who you wanted; that’s who you loved — the man that belonged with you, not the Supe that belonged to a greedy corporation and the world. But it would have to be up to him to make that final choice. You made that perfectly clear and told him to come to you when he was ready, ready for something real.
And sure enough, despite his keeping away for a while to prove a point, he eventually ended up on your doorstep that night three years ago, dressed in modern day clothing and cleaned up in all manners of the phrase. Ben was ready. He wanted you, he wanted real and most of all, he wanted it with you. 
You’d been together ever since and while things hadn’t been perfect, they’d been perfect enough for the both of you. So here you were, laid out in bliss, listening to his strong heartbeat underneath your ear as his hands glided up and down your bare back. You closed your eyes, smiling, and murmured, “I forgot how warm your hands are.”
Instead of answering you, he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger there, as he tightened his hold on you, pulling you closer into him. He held you like that for a little while until you could feel him stirring beneath you once more and his caresses turned more insistent before he rolled you onto your back, his kisses feverish as you both started your third round of lovemaking for the night. Supe stamina and all that.
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You winced as you felt another sharp kick to your stomach. “Damn,” you muttered.
Ben’s eyes were immediately on you, worried. “What?”
“Nothing,” you tried to lie but another kick had you flinching. 
He laid down the wrench he had been battling the pipes with and wiped his hands with a rag before making his way over to you. “The kid kicking you again?”
A third kick had your face screwed up in a grimace as you nodded. His jaw tightened and he urged you down onto the sofa before joining you and holding you from behind. He lifted your shirt above your belly and you both watched in fascination as there was a slight movement to it right before you hissed in pain and bit your lip to keep from crying out. Ben lowered his hands and began to rub your skin soothingly. The pain eased and like always, your baby started to settle down, something it did whenever it sensed its father’s strong presence. You assumed it was a Supe thing, since your kid would have half of those V-mutated genes, and you refused to let that worry you in the slightest. There was no guarantee your child would have superpowers like its dad though you wouldn’t be surprised if it inherited his strength if these painful kicks were anything to go by. Either way, you’d cross that superpower bridge if and when you came to it. 
You let out a breath of relief and closed your eyes, leaning your head back against Ben’s shoulder. “I seriously forgot how warm your hands are,” you whispered, enjoying how the warmth both settled your child and you at the same time.
“Don’t know how,” he murmured into your ear. “I hardly ever take them off you.”
You smiled wider at his teasing and wrapped your hands around one of his arms, humming your contentment. After a moment, you opened your eyes to find him watching you with an affectionate smirk. You lifted up and gently kissed him. “I love you.”
His smirk melted into a smile and he leaned down to kiss you one more time. “Back at you, doll.”
And almost as if your child wanted a say, to agree with the sentiments exchanged between both parents, it kicked against Ben’s hand albeit more gently this time, not causing any pain.
<-->
You grinned as you watched Ben teach your daughter, Violet, how to make a snowman. Which really meant he was making it for her. She had her father completely wrapped around her little finger. If there was anything that could bring Soldier Boy to his knees, it was his little girl. The strongest Supe in the world was at the mercy of the whims of your six year old.
You both had been surprised when the child you’d both eagerly been anticipating turned out to be a girl. You were excited — you’d always wanted a little girl. Ben — you weren’t sure how he would react. His heart had been set on a boy and while you could see a faint layer of disappointment shadowing his expression when you heard the doctor’s announcement, the moment he and your newborn daughter locked eyes, he was hers. It turned out you had nothing to worry about, on any counts.
He had promised you he would be better than his father and thus far he’d lived up to that promise. While you both had discussed extensively what type of parenting style you’d be implementing, you weren’t sure what would happen when the tough days of parenthood would hit. And while he had come a long way from his antiquated mindset (which had been beyond painful for the both of you back in the early days of you moving in together), you wanted to make sure that none of that would ever touch your child, literally and figuratively. But it turned out, you really had nothing to worry about. There were only a few instances that you had to gently remind him that it wasn’t the 1940’s anymore and each time he’d apologized, and set about making it right however he could.
Ben pleasantly surprised you in being there for all of the night time feedings, being willing to change a diaper after you’d eventually forced the issue and he found out that it wasn’t as big a deal as he was making it out to be, and taking her from you so you could sleep, shower, or get some time for yourself when he realized he wouldn’t break her. Her tiny form made him nervous and all the more careful. He held her hand when she started walking, read to her at bedtime (even though he secretly told you later there was a lot of pussy bullshit stories the world had available for kids these days), and beamed when one night she’d sleepily hugged him and whispered that Daddy was her hero after a particular conversation they’d had about a story he was reading, when she asked why the main character was going to fight the dragon. “Because he’s the hero, sweetness, and heroes fight the monsters.” You’d found him later standing at the foot of her bed, watching her sleep, an expression of sadness mixed with realization in his face. 
You’d wrapped yourself around his arm, hugging him, as you joined him in his study of your daughter. “You okay?” You whispered after a moment.
He looked unsure how to answer you so you gave him a little time to think of what he wanted to say, smiling as you noticed your daughter’s quiet breathing, her little lips curled up in the cutest pout as she dreamed — of what you had no idea but you hoped it was warm and wonderful and everything she could possibly want in her four and a half years of life.
“She said I was her hero,” Ben admitted quietly.
You turned to glance up at him and caught the furrow of his brows. 
“I’m not really a hero, though.” He pressed his lips together. “Not with the things I’ve done.”
You slipped your hand into his, intertwining your fingers, and squeezed. “Then be one.”
His eyes snapped over to you in question.
You gently framed his face with your hands, forcing him to look at you. “Ever since you decided you wanted something different from what you had before, you have made better decisions every single day. Who you were back then, Ben…that’s not who you are now. So if you want to be a hero,” You briefly glanced at your sleeping daughter. “Her hero, then be one.” 
Ben contemplated your words as you released him and his eyes drifted over the child that had somehow carved herself into his heart in a way that the fucked-up Homelander or the idea of any kid of his that possibly existed out there never had. He was already trying every single day to be better, for her, for you, for himself — and it was something he would keep doing.
“But just so you know,” you whispered to him. “No matter if you wear the suit or you’re just plain ol’ Daddy who reads her stories and threatens the monsters in her closet before she goes to bed each night, you’re already going to be her hero.” You gave him a soft smile and watched as your words played out upon his face. His lips lifted up slightly in the corners and he ran his tender glance over his little girl. It surprised you though when he then turned that smile and gaze onto you.
He marveled at just how simple you made it all sound sometimes. Not that you hadn’t acknowledged his effort or the strides he’d made in attempting to be a better father than his old man — a better man period — but he secretly admired when you gave it to him straight, no bullshit, no matter the subject. And while he wanted his daughter to always see him as the hero she called him earlier, he was grateful that you made sure to make such a distinction in your words: he didn’t have to put the suit back on to be his little girl’s hero. That’s not who she saw him as anyway. She saw him as her hero because he was her dad — and that was enough for her. 
There were times like this where he’d remember exactly why he chose to give everything up for you, why he chose you. You’d seen past the suit, past his public persona, saw all of the good and even more of the bad, and yet you still chose him first, still loved him, and still gave him the family he’d been craving even if it wasn’t how he’d imagined it for years on end. You gave him exactly what you’d promised if he chose you back: something real. And Christ did he love you for it.
Ben had never been very good at saying the three words that seemed to take no effort whatsoever to roll off your tongue every single day, even when it came to your daughter. While he might have had no issue speaking his mind back in the day, when it came to the two important things in his life, he struggled to put into words exactly how he felt about you two or to return the sentiment because it was unfathomable to him. He had never known that he could feel the love he did as a husband, a true partner, never mind as a parent. You both were his world and he wasn’t sure how he’d function without either of you in it. Hell, he wasn’t even sure how he functioned before either of you came along though a small dark part of him knew the answer to that: booze, drugs, sex, violence, and enjoying the Supe high life all combined. But right now, he was feeling that overwhelming feeling again that he hesitated to put a name to but deep down knew what it was. However, instead of just being able to say it, just once, he did the second best thing like he did every time you made him feel like this: he showed you.
He took your hand in his, squeezing, and glanced once more at Violet. Noting again that she was sleeping soundly, he then turned his attention onto you and led you from the room. Once her door was shut, he was on you, his kisses passionate and insistent yet desperate, his hands hungrily trailing your body, before he picked you up and walked you down the hall to your bedroom. 
So watching him now making the snowman your daughter wanted — old hat, scarf, pipe, and all — you were amused but also couldn’t be prouder. Ben had heard you that night and he had chosen to be the hero his little girl wanted him to be: her dad while also being a good man and someone she could be proud of. It didn’t erase his past but it was just another step in the right direction towards his future. The suit was still hidden away in a closet but he hadn’t pulled it out for which you were also immensely grateful. Vought International and The Seven had been annihilated years ago at the same time Homelander had been killed. Supes had scattered across the globe, now not being run by one single entity anymore. Some had world governments after them for crimes they had committed previously and were still committing to this day. Compound V as well as Temp V had now unfortunately hit the streets so random fresh Supes were turning up everywhere. The world certainly had its hands full when it came to the whole Supe thing. Maybe it was incredibly selfish of you but you were relieved when Ben chose to stay out of the fray and instead concentrate on living the life he’d chosen to live with you and focus on your family.
Your grin grew when your daughter excitedly hurried over to you. “Mama, mama! Did you see the snowman Daddy made?”
“I did, kiddo. He looks great.” You arched a brow over at the snowman though when you noticed something. “Well, just a tiny bit lopsided, but that’s okay. It gives him character.”
Ben huffed, appearing next to you. “I don’t make lopsided snowmen.” He then turned to Violet. “Your mother needs to have her eyes checked.”
“Hey,” you cried out indignantly. “Who are you telling to get their eyes checked, old man? Considering it’s a lop-sided snowman, I say you should get yours checked.”
Ben flashed his teeth in a grin. “My eyes are perfect, like everything else about me.” You couldn’t help your eye roll though in your estimation, he wasn’t too far off the mark. Never aging thanks to Compound V would do that to someone you guessed. You tried not to be too envious when you remembered back to the few gray hairs you’d managed to find coming from your scalp a few weeks back. 
Violet was giggling watching the two of you and you couldn’t help but join in her merriment. “Sure,” you teased. “So instead of Frosty the Snowman, we’ll call him Skewy the Off-Balance Snowman?”
Ben sent you a mock glare and you shrugged, smiling, making your daughter laugh again. He handed an old ratty coat to her. “Vi, why don’t you put on the finishing touches so your mom can stop being a critic and finally appreciate our hard work?” 
“What? I am appreciating it. I even appreciate that you have to tilt your head a bit to see it straight. Off-kilter is all the rage now, I get it. See? I’m appreciating it.”
Your daughter grinned and took the proffered coat before rushing back over to the snowman.
Hands suddenly on your hips whipped you around and Ben was on you before you could utter another word. He kissed you hard and you swore you could see stars when he finally pulled back, letting you catch your breath. He smirked down at you, muttering “Pain in the ass” good-humoredly, before you both caught movement out of the corner of your eye. You both glanced over in time to see your daughter leap gracefully into the air to toss the coat onto the tall snowman. Ben’s smile was proud and you watched in awe as she landed lithely back down on the ground. As you had wondered often enough when pregnant with her, your daughter had inherited some Supe DNA from her father after all. Something you and Ben both worked hard with her to keep tamped down when in the presence of other children and especially their parents. Your life was blissfully lowkey, normal (as normal as it could be with two Supes in the house), and safe — you and Ben both wanted to keep it that way and you both especially wanted to make sure your daughter’s life continued in that fashion as well. You didn’t want your daughter to be ashamed of her special abilities and Ben was able to teach her restraint, something he had to teach himself long before she was born. 
Ben watched as she used her strength to shift the snowman a little to the left so it would indeed be a little straighter. He rolled his eyes at your triumphant smirk but his smile never left as he cupped your face between his hands. “There. Happy?”
“More than you know,” you answered honestly. His smile faded slightly when he realized you meant more than the adjustment to his recent snow creation. You saw an all-too familiar internal struggle play out in his eyes that you had seen often enough over the years, especially lately. When he was making love to you; when he quietly watched you and your daughter working on her homework together; when he found you in the kitchen late at night when you couldn’t sleep and without speaking you’d turn on a slow song from his era and hold out an expectant hand to him; when you wrapped your arms around him from behind in a hug and snuck in underneath his arm as both of you observed Violet playing out in the yard with the dog she’d managed to convince you both to get — you knew what that struggle was and while it might have bothered another spouse that he never properly vocalized his feelings, you more than understood. How could you not after you knew how Ben had grown up, what he’d been taught? He’d made tons of strides over the years to undo all of that programming, but this…this was the hardest for him, and you knew why. So you didn’t push and instead willingly took what he gave you, knowing he was doing the best he could to show you how he felt instead.
You pushed yourself up on your toes and kissed him. “I love you, too,” you whispered, letting him know it was okay; you knew. You felt his thumb glide along your bottom lip as he studied you intently, and you could feel the heat radiating on the sides of your face. “I always forget how warm your hands are.”
He gave you a suggestive smirk. “You better not have forgotten how warm the rest of me is.”
“Might need a reminder,” you murmured, leaning into him.
His smirk widened. “Then you’ll get one.” He kissed you and before you could get too carried away, the sounds of your daughter giggling and calling “Daddy” had you both pulling apart. “Later,” he promised, pecking your lips one last time before looking over at Violet and the snowman whose apparel had changed to wearing her coat and hat instead. 
Ben gave her an indulgent smile. “What’d you do, Princess?” Violet giggled again and her father shook his head as he headed over to her. You watched as he picked her up, tickling her and making her squeal in laughter, and you smiled. Life really didn’t get much better than this.
You laughed yourself when Violet tried to tickle Ben back. 
Not by a long shot. 
<-->
You gave your husband a tired smile when he walked into the room.
“Did she get to school okay?” You asked.
He nodded and removed his coat, hanging it up on the empty hook on the wall.
“And you gave her the envelope I left on the table, right? The one that had her pictures and money for the yearbook?”
“Yeah,” he gruffed out, taking the empty seat next to you and ignoring the curious stares directed his way. Ben was huge and even though he hadn’t been recognized in years, his hulking stature still attracted inquisitive gazes every now and then.
“Good. Thank you for doing that.”
He took your free hand and frowned when you involuntarily shivered. 
Your smile was immediately apologetic. “I always forget how warm your hands are.” You gently gestured to your head where a cold cap sat. “This is freezing so with your hands, it felt like I stuck mine over a fire for a second.”
His frown intensified but he let your hand go. 
“No, no, it’s fine.” You grabbed at his fingers and intertwined them with yours once again. “I like warm.” You then tried to give him a flirtatious smile. “You know that.”
His responding smile was more of a grimace but he kept his hand in yours. “There anything you need?”
You noticed that once again, he was hardly making eye contact with you while you were receiving treatment. You hated it when he did that though you understood. He hated to see you like this, knowing there was nothing he could do to help you. Correction, nothing you would let him do that is.
You’d found a lump in your breast during a self-exam and you’d gotten it checked out right away. More examinations and tests later, it was confirmed: you had cancer. Thankfully, it was not the aggressive kind but your doctor wanted to go after the tumor just as if it was anyway. Your daughter was only in high school; of course, you agreed to whatever plan the doctor suggested. So now here you were, getting chemo after a successful removal of the tumor. 
Ben and Violet had been worried but you assured them that you would be fine, even if you didn’t know that to be true. Ben kept it together in front of your daughter, but once she had gone to bed, you could tell that even though he wouldn’t admit it, he was scared shitless. He knew what cancer meant like everyone else but he didn’t understand the mechanics of the treatments you would be receiving or the rates of survival depending on the ability to remove the tumor and keeping it from spreading versus the percentage rate of success of said surgery and treatments. He asked you question after question after question which you tried your best to answer while trying to keep from falling apart yourself. Eventually, he got frustrated and assured you he would get a hold of some Compound V. Though the government was still currently fighting the sale of the drug on the black market, they had to have some locked away for evidence or testing or they were just simply hoarding it. And if that didn’t work, he planned to track some down and get you a vial. Even if it was only Temp V. 
You were horrified at this suggestion. “Ben, no. I’m not taking that stuff!”
“Why? It’ll make you healthy! It’ll get rid of this fucking cancer! Why wouldn’t you take it?”
“I can think of several reasons. If you break in somewhere to steal it, you can get caught and thrown into some max security prison or CIA black op site that I’ll never be able to get to, never mind being able to find, where they’ll keep you locked down with that gas! Or if you get it off of the street or from the black market, you have no idea if it’s been tampered with or if they’ve laced it with anything else. Temp V is completely out of the question, from a legit source or not. Not to mention, we don’t even know if this would work. It might not heal me or it could even kill me instead. That’s why!”
“You don’t know that,” he insisted. 
“I don’t care. I’m not doing it, Ben.”
His eyes were darker than usual and he looked as if he was about to say something that you probably would both end up regretting. And sure enough, he did. “You’re fucking taking it and that’s it.”
“Excuse me?” You hissed. “This is my life we’re talking about. My life, my decision!”
“We are your life, goddammit!” He roared. Your eyes began to burn as you held back tears and he noticed the familiar sheen in them. When he spoke next, his tone was a bit quieter but no less firm. “So, it’s our decision. You’re taking it and that’s final.”
He had stormed out of the house after that and you had burst into tears. You knew he could hear you but he didn’t come back. You’d cried out all of the fear and anguish and despair you’d felt since receiving your diagnosis. 
It was only later that night when Ben crawled into bed, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you into his body, that he whispered an apology into your ear. You squeezed his forearm, letting him know you’d forgiven him. 
“If I can get a hold of some, will you please take it?” He begged.
You thought it over for a moment, weighed the risks heavily against the rewards that it could yield, and then shook your head. “No. It’s too risky. It could kill me, Ben. At least with the surgery and chemo, I have better odds.”
“What if I gave you some of my blood?” You heard his voice break near the end of his question and that shocked you. The entire time you’d known the man, he had never once cried. Not in front of you, at least. 
You slowly turned in his arms and while you didn’t see any tears, you saw the shimmer in his green eyes along with pure, unadulterated fear that you’d only seen rare glimpses of over the years: during your pregnancy; the birth; when Violet was a baby and he held her small body in his too big arms, afraid he might break her; when you’d gotten into that car accident on the way to Vi’s dance recital that left you with a few scrapes and bruises; the one time a new Supe in the making claimed to the media that he didn’t believe the death rumors and he was hunting Soldier Boy down in order to prove himself as the strongest Supe which ended up with Ben relocating your family to somewhere even more lowkey (you’d had to talk him out of going to find that damn kid and teaching him a lesson). But now, here it was, naked and laid out plain for you to see. You’d been right; he was scared shitless. 
You ran your fingers soothingly through his hair and he briefly turned to kiss your wrist. “We have two different blood types. It wouldn’t work.”
“I could find a scientist that’ll make it work. With all of these watered-down Supes running around, you can’t tell me there isn’t another Vogelbaum out there somewhere studying them. I could nab him and make him help us.”
You gave him a sad smile. “It doesn’t work like that. This isn’t something that can be fixed by some mad scientist or some miracle superhero-making drug.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Ben,” you pleaded. “Please…” 
He laid a hand against your face and stared into your eyes. “I don’t want to lose you.” You heard the breaks in his voice again. 
A tear slipped down your cheek and he gently wiped it away with his thumb. “One day, you’re going to. Whether it’s now or later, it’s inevitable.”
You could see how hard that hit him, even though you both had known this truth for some time. This wasn’t the first time he’d brought up the possibility of you taking Compound V in your relationship and it wasn’t the first time you’d refused. 
He wanted to keep you with him, always. You didn’t want to live forever and once Violet came along, you definitely didn’t want to outlive your daughter. And that was only if the drug was successful and didn’t outright kill you. Not to mention, even if it was successful, who was to say that it would work for you the same way it worked for Ben? Perhaps you could still easily be killed or you would still age. Perhaps your abilities would be completely different to his. He’d offered to get you some Temp V to preview what it would do, but after what you’d seen happen to Billy Butcher from taking that stuff, you refused.
Now, having cancer, as much as that terrified you, you still didn’t want to risk it. The doctors knew you wanted to see your daughter graduate high school. That was enough for you, for now.
You’d watched as Ben compulsively swallowed and pulled you up to meet him. He kissed you and you could feel the desperation, this time layered by a whole new level of it. He’d made love to you that night, the most tender in his touches and movements since the accident. He took his time with you and even though fear clung thickly to both of you, by the end, you felt loved and cherished and warm.
Such a contrast to how you were feeling now. You let out another involuntary shiver and Ben frowned over at you. By now, he would have picked you up and deposited you on his lap, wrapping you in his embrace to warm you up. But he couldn’t due to the goddamn machine and tubing you were connected to. So instead, he got up and laid another blanket over you, leaning in to murmur into your ear, “When we get home, I’ll warm you up.”
He pulled back with a wicked smirk and you gave him a grateful smile before he returned to his seat. You knew he only meant that he would hold you until you warmed up or until he had to pick up your daughter. You were much too tired for anything else, especially after each treatment, something you hated but it couldn’t be helped. You missed being intimate with him, you missed having the energy to do your usual flurry of picking up after your family around the house, you missed being the one to take Violet to school every morning — you missed it all. You lived your life as normally as possible but the tiredness, the lack of energy, the sickness, the effects this drug had on your system…sometimes it was beyond frustrating and that was putting it nicely. But Ben and Vi had been there through it all, ready to help and step in wherever needed. Violet did her chores like always but she also helped her dad whenever he would allow her to. And Ben…well, he had really stepped up. There were zero complaints that men shouldn’t be doing the laundry or the cooking (something that had been a leftover contention point from the early days of your relationship). He did his best to help Vi with her schoolwork if she had any questions and you were napping. He did the picking up around the house now and he took care of you when you got sick, his nose no longer scrunching up at the smell of vomit (something you had noticed when you had morning sickness and he sat with you, rubbing your back; he later explained to you just how sharp his sense of smell was). He did everything you asked him to and even things you didn’t. He had been a pillar of strength and support that you hadn’t even known you’d needed in the beginning.  
When he took your hand again, you carefully lifted his and kissed the back of it. “I love you,” you whispered, smiling as you nuzzled his warm skin.
He watched you, a familiar struggle taking place inside of him as a tell-tale shimmer started in his eyes that he didn’t want you to see. By the time you opened yours and looked over at him, the shimmer was gone and a tender smile was in place. “Back at you, dollface.” He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, staying like that a bit longer than he usually would have. You thought he was telling you what he still couldn’t put into words and he was. But he was also doing his best to warm you up. He’d felt the cold when you’d kissed his hand and rubbed your lips against it. Cold wasn’t something he felt easily so if he felt it, then he knew just how cold you really were. He hated these treatments, how sick they made you, how cold those damn caps made you (at this point, he didn’t care if you lost your hair, it wouldn’t change how he felt about you and he just wanted you warm and alive), he hated that there wasn’t anything he could to make you better — he hated it all. He meant what he’d said to you, when he got you home, he was going to strip you both down and hold you under the thickest, biggest blanket he could find in your house until it was time to pick up Vi from soccer practice. Warming you up, now that was something he could do. Which is exactly why he made sure to keep his lips connected to yours until the ice cold feeling disappeared and some color came back into them. He stared into your eyes, making you a silent promise that he would always chase the cold away and he would keep you here with him, warm, for as long as he could.
You smiled and leaned in to kiss him again, not caring in the least that you might have an audience with other patients and their family members or nurses. You loved Ben with everything you had; you didn’t care who knew it or even saw it.
<-->
“Oh, come on!”
You could hear Ben’s chuckle from the other room and you smiled.
“You cheated!”
“No, I didn’t,” Ben insisted, sounding offended.
“Yes, you did! Dad, admit it!”
“Oh and you didn’t? Those bombs came out of nowhere, right?”
You heard your daughter groan. “It’s battle mode, Dad. You’re supposed to battle it out!”
“We did and I won.” You could practically see the triumphant smile on your husband’s face.
“Yeah, by cheating. What do you think, Rose?”
You could hear the poor girl practically stuttering out her response, trying not to offend either party. “Uh, I think it was…pretty fair…”
“What?” Violet yelled. “You call what he did fair?”
“Y-Yes?”
Ben let out another chuckle. “I knew I liked you, kid.”
You shook your head, smiling to yourself. The two most competitive members of your family had decided to play a video game while you were cooking to help pass the time. Vi had offered to help but you shooed her away since she had brought a friend home with her for the holiday. Ben had looked over at you expectantly, wondering what you would ask him to do, but you’d simply put a beer in his hand and sent him off to entertain the girls. He’d tried to hide his relief as he made his escape but you saw right through him. Thankfully, he didn’t see your own relief. You loved that Ben would do whatever you asked of him when it came to the kitchen, but sometimes he had his own way of doing things (from the time you’d been sick) and it clashed with yours. So, for a meal this large, as much as you loved him, you’d prefer for him to be out of the way. While it was a lot of work, your time to yourself in here was peaceful and you were amused at the bickering you overheard between Ben and Vi. Video games, board games, puzzles — it didn’t matter. If they were involved, there was bound to be claims of cheating by one of them or both, and massive competitive drives. You’d learned long ago to let them battle it out while you would be happy to be in 3rd place in Mario Kart or own St. Charles Place and maybe a railroad during a round of Monopoly. Most of all, though, you loved spending time with your two favorite people in the world, whether they were bickering over a game or competing against each other for a pixelated trophy on the television screen.
You heard voices start to rise slightly, Violet’s in particular. Someone else might have been nervous, especially for the young girl who was your guest, considering two Supes were locking horns, but you weren’t worried. Vi was now in college and thankfully, you’d been in remission for a couple of years. If your family had managed to survive that, you knew they’d overcome any argument over something as silly as who won a race between a plumber and a mushroom man. 
But just in case, you called out, “Guys, remember it’s just a game, please. We have a guest.” 
Sure enough, Violet lowered her voice but you could still hear her accusing her father who scoffed his denials. You rolled your eyes in amusement. 
It wasn’t long before you felt strong arms wrap around you from behind, and lips pressed against your neck. “And the victor returns,” you murmured, smiling and leaning back into him. 
“Mm-hmm,” Ben hummed against your skin. “He wants his spoils.” You felt him attempting to lift the hem of your dress and you slapped his hands away.
“Ben,” you hissed. “Not right now with our daughter and her friend in the next room.”
He didn’t let you deter him; he was determined. “Then let’s go upstairs while this bird cooks. The kids can entertain themselves for a few minutes.”
“A few minutes?” You teased. “You mean like this morning?”
Ben had sweet talked you into sneaking out to the garage after you set everything up and put the turkey in the oven. He’d had you up against the hood of your car, his hand covering your mouth as he went to town on you, both of you in a hurry because he’d heard your daughter starting to wake up on the floor above you. 
Instead of being insulted or rolling his eyes and glaring over at you, a dirty smirk settled onto his face. “Mmm, that was hot. You were hot. So hot I want to lift this dress up and do that thing with my—”
A loud throat clearing coming from the other room had you both straightening up. Right. Your daughter shared super senses with her father. Whoops. “Uh, Mom? Is dinner ready yet?”
“Uh.” You quietly cleared your throat yourself as you moved away from Ben, making him frown. “Not for another two hours or so.” You had just checked the turkey before you’d been interrupted. 
“Okay, well, Rose and I are going to go walk outside for a bit. We’ll be back.”
“Okay, sweetheart. Be careful and make sure to take your coats. It’s cold out,” you warned.
Violet laughed. “Yes, Mom.”
She must have said something too quiet for you to hear because Ben suddenly went rigid. “Listen to your mother,” he added for good measure.
Another laugh. “Sure, Dad.”
You continued prepping dinner and once you heard the front door shut, Ben was on you. “Ben,” you laughed. “I don’t have time!”
He picked you up and moved you to the one area of counter space that wasn’t covered. “Yeah, you do. There’s always time for a quickie.”
“A quickie? Another one of Ben’s infamous life rules?”
He lifted the skirt of your dress over your thighs and quickly worked your underwear down your legs. “Another one of my infamous life rules with you.” You and Ben were used to having the house to yourselves so anywhere, anytime had become a sort of routine you two had. You missed Violet tremendously but you also had time to physically reconnect with your husband.
Almost as if he heard the direction your thoughts were going in, he framed your face with his hands. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured. 
You gave him a grateful smile. The truth was, while you were grateful to be in remission and for more time with your family, you had worried about the toll chemo had taken on your body as well as your sex drive. The doctor assured you that while it would take time, there was a good chance you would start to feel normal again. Ben had been understanding but you had been frustrated. However, the doctor was right; it took a while but you started to feel back to normal, libido included. 
Luckily, you hadn’t lost a lot of your hair, the cold caps having helped, and once the treatments were over, whatever was gone did indeed grow back. Unfortunately, a lot of gray hair also came with it. You’d wanted to dye it back to your original color but Ben urged you not to. “You look fucking sexy as hell with it,” he’d murmured before you watched him nibble on your ear in the bathroom mirror. You knew his preference for older women, something you knew before you’d even gotten together, walking into the bar you’d found him in and seeing him making out with a grandma one time. So you knew your aging wasn’t an issue; he’d told you often enough that he didn’t care how old you got, he only wanted you. That was why he had wanted you to take Compound V, far before your diagnosis, because he wanted to be with you forever, or as long as forever would be given your actual life span and his. But you were still struggling with all of the changes your body had gone through in the last couple of years and you’d broken down into sobs, letting your face fall into your hands. He’d held you and whispered reassurances into your ear that everything was going to be okay. 
And thankfully, he had been right. It had all turned out to be okay. You’d gotten to see Violet graduate, you’d gotten to go on campus tours with her as she decided on a college, you got to drive up with her and Ben to move her into her dorm room, you’d gotten to spend more time with your husband who loved you deeply — you’d gotten more time period.
And here you were, able to cook a full Thanksgiving dinner for your family on your own, and all three of you were thriving. Most people would be stating what they were thankful for on this day but you — the gratitude you felt overwhelmed you and it was something that couldn’t be put into words. You had a beautiful life, a wonderful life, a daughter just as beautiful and wonderful, and you were thankful for the man who had given it to you. Who had laid down his shield (and everything that came with it) and chosen to make this life with you.
You stared into his green eyes, seeing a certain amount of reverence mixed with affection watching you back. You felt his skin warm against yours, reminding you of all of the days and nights he spent trying to keep you warm during and after your treatments, and you smiled. “Your hands are so warm,” you whispered the familiar words. “I always forget how warm they are.”
And as expected, he grinned and responded with, “Not sure how, dollface. I never take them off of you.” He ran a thumb tenderly along your bottom lip. “And I never will.”
He kissed you then and you couldn’t help the tear that escaped and rolled down your cheek. The quickie ended up being not so quick. The turkey was a little drier than you liked but your family ate it all the same while Rose politely complimented you. Violet gave you a nod, smiling, missing her father unapologetically smirking over at you while shoveling forkfuls into his mouth. You gave him a look when your daughter glanced back down to her plate and he chortled before digging in again. You gazed around the table, smiling, content as could be. Gratitude. Thankful. Those were the two words that repeated themselves over and over in your head as you watched your family eat the food you’d cooked for them, even when Violet insisted that Ben had still cheated in Mario Kart, her father told her to let it go, and both agreed to a rematch right after dinner. 
This is what you’d wanted back when you gave Ben your ultimatum, but never in a million years did you think you’d actually get to have it. Thankful indeed.     
<-->
Being awash in these memories, you failed to notice that a tear was making its way down Ben’s cheek until it fell near your hairline when he leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. You didn’t really feel anything that wasn’t pain or cold, except for him. Even his tears were warm. So warm.
“Not sure how, baby,” he answered you, smiling, his eyes wet. “I always have them on you.”
You couldn’t help but smile in return at your familiar exchange. That smile fell, though, when you heard what he said next.
“I’m gonna get him. I promise you that.”
You could see the faint edges of Soldier Boy peeking through as you saw your husband’s green eyes harden in an all-too familiar fashion. You slowly shook your head, even that tiny movement causing you pain. “I don’t want that. I want you and Vi to be safe.”
He looked as if he wanted to argue but thought better of it. Instead, his eyes softened once more and he gave you a nod. “Okay, baby.”
You and Ben had been walking through town, buying last minute Christmas presents. Ben wanted to order them online and avoid the crowds, but you wanted to take a walk, breathing in the fresh air and be imbued with the Christmas spirit that permeated the town. Ben had begrudgingly indulged you and you enjoyed yourself as you bought gifts for Violet, her fiancee, and you even managed to sneak one for Ben when you’d sent him to ask the guy manning the stand in the outdoor market for a price on an item. The woman from the stand next door had just bagged your gift when you noticed a young man walking through the market, commanding everyone’s attention. He had a suit on with a cape so it was obvious he was a Supe and he was looking for something or someone. His eyes flickered in Ben’s direction, who had his back to him, and a dangerous smile formed on his face. Within seconds, you recognized him. He was the Supe you had seen on TV a few years back, though he’d been wearing a different suit then and he wasn’t nearly as bulked up as he was now. He was the one who had been saying he would hunt Soldier Boy down to kill him. You quickly glanced back at Ben who was completely unaware, involved in the discussion he was having with the older man. You saw the Supe’s eyes begin to glow and you knew what would happen before it did. 
You dropped everything in your hands and ran as fast as you could towards Ben, yelling his name. He glanced up at you, his brows furrowed, and he tensed seeing your expression. It was mere moments that passed before you were in front of him and you felt a lava-hot feeling erupting from your insides, making you scream. 
You fell to the ground and you watched as Ben went to catch you but was forced to let you fall when he looked up to see more lasers coming his way. He moved out of the way just in time. As you lay, unable to move, hearing some of the sounds of battle all around you and people screaming and stampeding out of the market while your ears were still ringing, you prayed to whoever was listening that your husband won and that he and your daughter would be safe. 
It wasn’t until you heard something that sounded like a jet taking off into the sky and saw Ben’s boots come to a stop in front of you that you realized he had survived. You nearly cried at the sight of those worn work boots that you kept urging him to replace. He managed to roll you over though you cried out in pain as he did and he settled you onto his lap, his eyes wide as he took in your injuries. Not only could you feel how bad it was, but you could also see it on his face. It was a miracle you were somehow still alive, able to talk even, but you didn’t have long. You didn’t need to be a doctor to know that the rapidly-spreading cold wasn’t a good thing. Your hands and arms were practically numb at this point. And you thought cancer would be the one you’d have to worry about showing up.
“Make sure you take care of Vi. She’s going to need you,” you urged him.
He gave you another nod. “You know I will.”
“And don’t let that asshole find her.”
His jaw tightened and his eyes hardened again. “He won’t.” You knew what that meant but not having much energy left, you could only hope that when he thought back to this moment, he remembered what you had told him you wanted. 
It worried you a little when he picked up your hand and kissed your palm that not only could you not feel it, but your hand looked the palest you’d ever seen it, even during chemo. 
More tears rolled down your cheeks but you made sure to look up at him. You had no idea how much time you had left but you needed to tell him, you needed him to know. “Tell Vi that I love her and I’m so proud of her.” And you were. Inspired by what had happened to you years back, she became a doctor, specifically an oncologist. She was determined to find a cure and in the meantime, help people who had gotten some of the worst news of their lives. “And, Ben.. Thank you for our life together. Thank you for our daughter. Thank you for everything.”
You could see his eyes beginning to glisten once more and he compulsively swallowed. “I should be thanking you for that.”
“You made the decision to walk away. If you hadn’t…”
“It was an easy decision.”
You tried to give him a smile that probably came out more of a grimace. “No, it wasn’t. But I’m thankful you made it.”
He leaned down to press another kiss to your forehead before staring into your eyes. “I’m thankful for you.”
You tried to smile wider but instead a cough erupted out of you and you could feel something wet on your lip. Ben gently swiped his thumb across it, moving it out of your sight, and a slight panic set in when you realized you could barely feel the action. “Ben,” you croaked. “I’m so cold.” You could barely feel the pain anymore and it felt as if someone had turned on an A/C inside you at full blast and the icy air was making its way up to your head. 
Ben attempted to give you a familiar smile. “Then I’ll warm you up, doll.” You heard the breaks in his voice but when he leaned down to kiss you, you let him, taking comfort in the familiar show of affection. You breathed through your nose and you relaxed, feeling the last bit of warmth that was infused into your lips.
Ben stayed there long after you took your last breath, long after you went limp. He knew you were gone but a small irrational part of him told himself that if he just kept trying to chase the cold away for you, he might somehow succeed. But ultimately, as he knew it wouldn’t, it didn’t work. He lifted his head and stared down at you, silently willing you to open your eyes. When you didn’t, more tears fell down his bearded cheeks and a sob tore out of his throat that he had no idea was there waiting to escape. “Baby,” he choked out, shaking you as gently as he could, still mindful of your wounds. But still, nothing. Then he said the words he’d always struggled to give voice to, thinking if nothing else would bring you back, this might. “I love you,” he let out in a broken whisper against your lips. When that didn’t work either, he knew that was it and subsequently broke down, rocking you tenderly in his arms as he buried his face in your neck while his shoulders shook. For the first time ever since becoming a Supe, Soldier Boy cried and didn’t care who saw it or knew about it. He ignored the cries of people looking for their loved ones, he ignored the police cars showing up and the sirens of the fire trucks on their way, he ignored people clamoring around the site asking what happened or trying to help others — he ignored them all. All he focused on was you. You had knowingly put yourself in front of those lasers to save him. …And now you were gone.
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 5 months
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OMG! I’m so happy for you, 5K is so exciting and you deserve it so much. I (live laugh) loveeeeeee your writing style so so so so much and I’ve just about read every fic you’ve made like 30 times over. I have an idea for a Soap nsfw fic that I’ve been wanting to submit since I found your account and I think this is the perfect time.
Rivals to lovers? Soap and reader were cadets together during their training/pre-selection days of the SAS, they were both top of their “class” and would often try to one up one another? Despite that, they would have one another’s backs. Eventually, after SAS selection, they parted ways and maybe a few years later (just after the events of MW2 2022) they reconnect as they’re both assigned to a mission. Sexual tensions high after years of not seeing each other? and goes sideways and they have to end up staying at a safe house (One bed trope?) and then things escalate from there?
Thank you for opening your requests for this momentous occasion! I’m so so happy for you and I’m so so excited for the next work you put out!
—Still The Same Fools
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⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ
╰┈➤ ❝ [There was always a rivalry between you two - that hasn't changed even if both of you have. Years later, the boiling point is finally met.] ❞
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“I told you it was a bad idea,” you tilt your head, tightly wrapping your left thigh; bandages you pull harder, grunting as the flow of blood slows. 
The safehouse is cold—and it’s snowing outside worse than a shaken snow globe on a massage chair, flakes as big as your hand slapping the window. 
Johnny’s trying to start a fire, shoulders all wound up as you stare at his tension-ridden back. 
“MacTavish,” you call, glaring. “I’m talking to you.”
“Aye,” he grunts, flicking his lighter three times before the smallest of flames sparks up—he quickly moves it to the dry logs, letting it take to the kindling. “I have ears.”
You grimace, shaking your head. 
The history between the two of you was long—dating back to the days when you’d both signed up. You’d bled together, failed, and won together, even if the tensions were visible in the air as much as the long glances were. SAS selection had been the point where your clashing attitudes had been put on pause; things were getting more serious now—there was no going back. Only a year in you’d both seen the last of each other.
Or, you thought that at least.
A mission—Norway during a blizzard. Full coverage and the means of a Capture-Or-Kill.
“You want to explain to me why you still decided to rush in like that?” You push, voice digging. 
The room was weighed down by heat—not from the now sizzling fire itself but from the stiff look that’s passed your way. You blink, Soap’s blue eyes darker than they had been. With a low grunt, the usually sarcastic and blunt man stands, beginning to stalk over with hard steps. Bodies layered with sweat and grime, you release the shreds of the bandages around your bare thigh; pants half down your legs. 
Frowning, you ignore the soar in your heart rate and let him move up to the rickety chair you sit in, his hands coming down to lean into the armrests on either side of you. 
You hold back a gasp as his face is shoved into yours.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he utters, accent stiff, and both of your eyes battling one another for dominance that neither wants to give up. Two feral wolves at each other’s throats. “Maybe it was to make sure the old Hen of mine didn’t get herself killed.”
You snap back immediately, faces closer and breath puffing over skin. “You don’t trust me?”
“Never said that,” he grunts, stubble shifting into a frown.
You scoff, nose brushing against his as heads tilt. “Prove it. Because right now, I’m hearing a lot of bullshi—”
Lips smash into yours.
The affair that night was a rabid tangle of shed clothes and loose limbs, bare skin bloody and sweat-stained long before any action had even been taken. The wound at your thigh was of little concern as the fast shove of Johnny’s pelvis sent his cock dragging along the walls of your cunt. 
“Fuck,” you gasp, head tilting back to connect with the floor as the fire spreads light over the safehouse. “God, right there. Right there, Johnny.”
Your legs tighten around his waist, a thin stream of crimson moving down your flesh as the sound of slapping wet skin echoes over and over again. Like a loyal dog, the man smirks into your neck as he bites, sucking and groaning all the more as you tighten around him with a shiver of electricity working its way down your spine straight to your core.
You whine as he grabs your chin, glaring weakly until your glossy eyes blur the space behind his head.
“Like that, do you?” He teases, hand firm and unyielding. “Tell me you like it, Dearie.”
“Go,” you pant, fingers digging into his mohawk and pulling. Johnny’s blown pupils widen even farther, hips thrusting harder and making you moan in his hold—him doing the same, with a more cut-off version that would make a pornstar blush. You force out, “screw yourself.”
He feels you tighten even farther around him, his jaw clenching as his abdomen bunches, trying to hold off his approaching orgasm. 
“I think I’m enjoying this more, see,” he sloppily kisses the side of your mouth, licking at the skin. Everything about this was pent-up lust—messy sex in both the literal and metaphorical sense. 
His tip caresses your womb, pulling almost all the way out of you before jerking forward and grinding moments after. His pelvis massages your clit, textured walls like a noose trying to keep him in. Your fluids leak out to coat his thighs a nice shiny clear. Muscles glide over yours, the dip and swell of flesh addictive. 
A growl is sent into your face. 
“Pull my hair again.” You do so, listening to the animalistic groans as your body moves up and down on the floor, cutting off exhalations of air puffing out from open mouths.
“Harder,” your gasp, “fuck me harder, Sergeant.”
A hand slams into the wood beside your head, the other moving to press into your stomach. You nearly cry when you can feel his cock hammering against the thin flesh of your abdomen. 
You tighten around him and arch your back, lips brushing against his as you strangle down a loud plea for release. Your fingers latch and twist Johnny’s head to the side as the cord in your snaps.
“Fuck,” Johnny draws out the curse, eyes rolling back as you bare down on him ruthlessly, thighs tense and stained with blood and cum as your orgasm seeps violently down the swell of them. 
He follows with a loud gasp, letting you feel the gush of his spend as it fills you to the brim, leaking out with every failing cant of his hips into yours.
The man loosens and lets his limp head hit your shoulder, body shaking as he stays above you only enough to keep his full weight from crushing you. It’s a long time before either of you find the words to speak.
“Round two?” Johnny asks. 
You blink and feel the small sparks of pain in your thigh. It was nothing serious.
“Yeah,” you shrug, voice breathless and cunt spasming. “Why not.”
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co6kiesvr · 1 year
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do you write for neymar? if so can you please do one where he’s jealous and they fight and sleep in separate rooms and he comes back and it’s fluffy after
maybe i do like them touching me. at least they actually pay attention to me.hi love! sure!!
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genre: angst to fluff
quick a/n: this was written in spanish, i didn't know he mainly speaks portuguese! im so so sorry!!
┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⚽ ━━━━━━━━━━┑
you and neymar’s friends were actually quite close, at first they didn’t really like you. but now, you were all great friends
in neymar’s view, you might have been a little too great. don’t get him wrong, he likes that his friends like you and there aren’t any problems between you two. but, sometimes he wished you weren’t that close
today was the day he finally snapped, you were with his friends, laughing and joking around. it was all okay at first, until they began touching you. one touching your shoulder, the other your arm, one of them touched your hair too
who the hell told them they were allowed to touch what’s his?
“mi amor, tenemos que irnos, ahora.” neymar said as he held your hand tightly (my love, we have to go, now.)
“what—but, por qué? Paso algo?” you said, furrowing your eyebrows as he began pulling you away even harder (why? did something happen?)
“we’re leaving.” was all he said as his friends stared at you two, confused, while you were feeling the embarrassment taking over
he pulled you away outside to the car, putting you inside, himself, then driving away.
the drive was completely silent, not one of you uttered a single word.
once you got home, you were quick to leave the car before him, and go to your room where you sat there quietly
he followed you into the room, staring at you for a second before speaking up
“what, you’re not gonna talk to me now?” he said, “i had no choice! you were certainly having fun with all of them touching you”
“you cannot be fucking serious right now!” you yelled, “me estabas mirando todo el tiempo, and now you’re jealous? you never trust me! you act like i'll cheat on you opr something!” you snapped (you were glaring at me the entire time)
“i wasn’t glaring at you, i was glaring at them! it’s like you were their girlfriend, not mine. y no les estabas diciendo exactamente que se detuvieran ahora verdad” he yelled back (and you weren't exactly telling them to stop now were you)
“what are you trying to say. hm? that i like your friends touching me even if i don’t want them to?! you know what? tal vez me gusta que me toquen. al menos en realidad me prestan atención.” you said, (maybe i do like them touching me. at least they actually pay attention to me.
“oh, now i don’t pay attention to you? okay, have fun getting the attention from them. buenas noches” he said as he walked out and went into the guest bedroom (goodnight)
“good, i will” you yelled as he walked away
and now here you were, lying awake in bed, trying to stop the tears from flowing. he had a right to be jealous, but he didn't have a right to act like you were enjoying it. he was always like this and you were sick of it, you're sick of him not trusting you. it hurts you when you feel like he doubts you.
you were so caught up with your thoughts you didn't realize the door was open now, you felt the bed sink, and stayed quiet.
"mi amor? are you still awake?" he said, "lo siento, Sé que no harías algo así. i was just stressed and barely seeing you was making it worse, especially if i see you with them more than i see you with me." (im sorry, i know you wouldn't do anything like that)
"i don't like it when they touch me, i only like it when you do it" you spoke up
"why didn't you tell me, cariño?" (sweetheart)
"you like your friends, i didn't want to ruin anything between you"
"you're better than all of them, querida" he smiled and hugged you tight, you turned and faced him, and he was quick to pull you close
"te amo, mi vida" he said as he leaned his forehead on yours (i love you, my life)
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imaginesinthewind · 3 months
Text
Blood of my blood
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Pairing: Jon Snow x f!reader
Summary: The night before the Battle of Bastards, promises are exchanged between Jon and you. Inspired by an Outlander quote from Jamie Fraser. If you recognize it, you earn a cookie.
A/N: A small fluffy Jon Snow drabble, because I can't sleep. Very tooth-rotting romantic. You are warned.
"Where were you? I looked for you, over there."
You would have recognised that voice anywhere. Raspy, soft, deep. And low.
The cold was biting your cheeks, causing them to turn more pink than usual. As the last men were exiting Jon's tent, where the last war council was held, you realised that you had been standing there for way too long, staring into the nothingness, ghosts dancing across your eyes.
You slowly turned around to face Jon. His black curls were held backwards, making him look more and more like his father; not only in looks, but also in attitude. He looked tired, and worried. But a cold determination was glowing in his gaze.
His arms slowly came to surround you, pulling you towards him and his comforting figure. And suddenly, it seemed that the ghosts you were facing silently faded away.
"You're worried," Jon noticed.
A small sigh escaped your lips, and your hands came to rest on his shoulders, playing with edges of his armour.
"I only just got you back," you whispered, avoiding his eyes. "And... I mean, if anything were to happen--"
"(Y/N)", Jon cut you off.
A callous hand lifted your chin, forcing you to look at him.
"You don't need to worry yourself sick about me. I've been through way, way worse."
The hint of a smile danced across his features.
"I will always come back. You should know that by now. Plus, there is only one thing you need to worry about."
One of his hands softly caressed your baby bump, almost invisible to the naked eye. You had told Jon a few days ago; and now, more than ever, it was like his actions to take back Winterfell from Ramsay had some kind of undergoing urgency.
He held you closer to him, and your head came to rest on his chest. You remained there for a few seconds, content in his embrace, breathing slowly.
"Promise me," you finally whispered. "Promise me that you will come back to me."
There was a moment of silence. But then, Jon pulled you away from him. His face looked serious and soft at the same time as he looked at you; like you were the moon of his life. The one and only thing that made sense.
"I can do better than that, love."
His harsh northern accent contrasted with the softness of his voice.
You frowned, and watched in disbelief as Jon suddenly got on one knee.
"Jon," you began, but he cut you off again.
"No, (Y/N). Let me do this, once and for all."
He grabbed your hand and squeezed it. Suddenly, Jon, your childhood love, the one you had lost and found again, looked desperate.
"I don't have anything to offer you, (Y/N). I have no lands, no titles. But I know this. When I'm with you, I am no longer this commander everyone expects me to be. I am just a boy in love, all over again."
Jon stood up again, and grabbed both of your hands.
"You are the blood of my blood, bone of my bone. I gave you my body and you gave me yours, so that we could become one. So, please. If I win this, be mine. Marry me."
Your heart grew bigger in your chest, as if it was about to burst. Burst for this sweet and devoted man in front of you.
Your vision blurried, and you nearly threw yourself in his arms.
"Oh, Jon..."
You closed your eyes and held him tight.
"You are worth all of these things, and more even. I love you. Yes, I will marry you."
Ramsay Bolton would not live to see another night on this earth.
Somewhere in the dead of night, Jon made an oath to himself.
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