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talaok · 2 days

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But Daddy I Love Him

summary: You and Joel shouldn't be together. According to the people in Jackson, he's a bad, cruel, crazy man, and yet... he's all you ever wanted.

Warnings: smut (unprotected p in v), angst, blood, physical fight (?), happy ending (cause of course)

a/n: ive been obsessed with this song since it came out, please just go listen to it

Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned Screamin', "But, Daddy, I love him I'm havin' his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm tellin' him to floor it through the fences No, I'm not coming to my senses I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want

— — —

"fuck"

"god"

His breath, his hands, his beard, his mouth, his cock

Him

He was all you could feel, he was all that existed,

nothing but him and his intoxicating aura, his manly mist, his sweaty body his strong arms,

Him

Joel Miller

The man you should not want, the man you should be terrified of, that you should run and hide from,

the terrible, crazy, Joel Miller

The same one everyone told you to stay away from, your friends, your family, strangers, the entirety of Jackson

And yet he was the only man you ever really wanted, really needed.

"I missed you so much"

Even your own voice was nothing, it was a phantom of something that existed long ago, something that stopped living every time he was near, every time he would make everything dissipate into thin air with just his presence.

"I missed you too baby girl" he grunted,

oh how he grunts, how he groans, how he moans

nobody does it like him

"missed you so fucking much darlin'"

His voice felt like a prayer, like a sweet invocation to the sky up above, to whomever would listen,

one that countered completely what he was doing, the nothing but sinful way he had you up against the wall, his hands gripping your waist as he thrust his cock in and out of you so fast you might just break.

The bed was right beside you, but that didn't matter, that's how you were

You and Joel,

like animals, like soulmates, like desperate, desperate lovers

Your minds didn't work the same when you were near, they didn't work at all, one could argue

But isn't that was love is after all?

"oh my god" you moaned, hiding your head in the crook of his neck as one particular deep thrust made you see stars

"I know darlin'" he cooed, only going faster, deeper "I know"

"Joel" you cried, biting down on his skin "f-fuck"

It had only been two weeks since you last saw each other, but it might as well been decades.

They had sent him away.

Nobody liked him in Jackson, not once they'd learned his story, the terrible things he'd done

And when they found out about you... not even his own brother could protect him.

So they'd exiled him.

But they couldn't keep him away forever, not when he had something to come back for.

"god fuckin' damnit babygirl- you feel so fuckin' good"

Your moans only got higher, your nails clinging to his back like a rabid cat.

"perfect lil' pussy" he growled, his hot breath on your sweaty neck pulling shivers from your body "Perfect fuckin' girl"

"oh fuck" you whined, tightening your legs' hold onto his waist

"you feel so good too Joel" you promised, breathing heavily in synch with him "You and your perfect cock"

He groaned so loud he sounded like an animal

"might want to keep that pretty mouth shut if you want this to last, sugar"

You didn't know where you found the strength to laugh, but you did

"you're gonna come too soon, old man?"

His hold on your waist pulled you even closer, as you raised your head to look him in the eyes

God, he was handsome

"just might, if you keep saying stuff like that"

but before you could tell him how it wasn't fair, how he did it all the time and you couldn't do it even once, his thumb was on your clit and your eyes were to the back of your head.

"no" he stopped you before you could hide your face from him again "I want to see you"

And as warmth filled your chest and your forehead fell to his and pressure built in your belly, he murmured:

"good girl- come for me, just like that- Jesus Christ-"

And so you did,

You came and moaned and cried, and it didn't take much before he was doing the same, pumping you full of him until he'd given you every single drop.

And then you kissed, he kissed you slowly and gently and in the same exact way that made you fall for him the very first time.

"god I missed you so much" he breathed once you leaned away

A smile from ear to ear took over your face and all you could do was kiss him again

"me too baby" you murmured, as he helped you to your feet

You both smiled like silly idiots as you dressed again,

but neither of you could resist being in each other's arms, so you didn't.

He pulled you closer and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the crown of your head once you rested it on his still bare chest.

You didn't get how anyone could hate him,

You swore they wouldn't, they wouldn't if they only got to meet him, the real him, not the idea of him they had painted in their minds.

And so you hummed, breathing him in, clinging to him as he clung to you

Up until the very moment it all went to shit

Again.

"hey honey I just got back I-"

It was sad really, the fact you'd seen this scene before.

The disappointment in your dad's eyes, the fear turning into primal rage inside his iris, his fists tightening, Joel taking a step back

A deja-vu had never felt quite so devastating

"Arthur" Joel tried to speak, but your dad was already on him, his fist had already connected with his cheek

"What did I tell you!?" another punch "Last time was just a fucking warning!" and another

Joel was on the ground

He wasn't going to fight back.

This wasn't how he wanted to handle things

Not this time

Not with you

"I'll kill you this time you fucking disgusting pervert!" you swore you heard Joel's cheekbone crack with another hit "How dare you!?" your dad growled, Joel's bloody face beneath him "In my own home- how dare you take advantage of my daughter you fucking- pig!"

Your eyes were overflowing with tears, the top buttons of your dress were still unbuttoned, and Joel's chest was rising and falling too slowly, much too slowly

"dad"

But he kept going

"dad stop!"

you grabbed his wrist, and the moment his eyes met yours it felt like the word stopped, like it had frozen over.

You caused all that anger, all that pain

But if he just would listen to you...

"y/n"

"dad" your voice trembled as much as your fingers "dad I love him"

You saw his heart break. For all the wrong reasons,

for his poor daughter who was taken advantage of, for the naive, innocent daughter he couldn't protect. For the daughter that didn't exist. Because that wasn't you, that wasn't how things had gone.

"you don't know what you're saying"

His voice was harsh, cruel, cold.

"But I do!" tears ran down your cheeks as you glanced down to where Joel lay, to the cuts and blood coating his face "I love him dad, I really really do"

"You don't know who this man is" he said "The things he's done..." he said with a snarl, as if disgusted, as if the rage was surging from his chest all over again

"I know" you whispered "I know everything- He told me all of it dad, please" you begged "Please just let him go, let him talk"

"I don't need to listen to a word that comes out of this fucker's mouth"

"but dad-"

It was like a bomb went off

"HE'S 56!" he yelled, his grip on Joel's neck tightening "he's fifty fucking six y/n! You just fucking turned 21!" his voice bounced off the walls like thunder, "You're not even half his age!"

"who cares!?" you screamed too now, only your voice was interrupted by sobs

"I DO!" he roared "Your mom would!" his eyes were wide with urgency, and although he was mad you could still hear the care behind his words "He might have made you think this is ok, that he loves you, but trust me none of it is true" he sighed "He's using you honey, I know it's hard to understand right now, but you- you're young- you don't know-"

Your hand left him, shaking as it went to wipe your tears.

"dad" you said more firmly now "I might be young but I'm not stupid"

"y/n-"

"no" you stopped him "Dad this is the first time I've ever felt this way, like I cannot breathe when he's not close, like I need him more than I need air" you swallowed thickly "And I know- I know it's hard to understand, I know it's easier to just go with the narrative in your head, of the fragile little girl and the big creepy guy, but this-" you took a shaky breath as you glanced at Joel again

His eyes were barely open, he was barely conscious

"This isn't like that" you promised "I- I love him, and he loves me"

"Honey-"

"I'm not done" you stopped him again "I'll never forgive you dad" you shook your head, simply stating the truth "I'll never forgive you if you do this, if you don't even give him a chance to explain, to tell you how things really are"

You saw the conflict in his eyes, the searing pain caused him to hear such words from his daughter, to hear her beg and threaten and speak up all at once,

and yet... yet he couldn't shake off the honesty, the hope lacing your words, your voice, sparkling from your eyes

And so he did the only thing he could,

he agreed, he agreed to hear the full story.

___

That was two years ago now,

and sometimes you wondered if it all was just a bad dream, if your imagination had tricked you into believing some silly made-up story,

but the glares from the people in town always seemed to refresh your memory.

And yes, maybe you would have liked to live a life without people whispering ugly things about you behind your back every day... but then maybe, maybe it was all worth it

For this.

For the child growing in your belly, for the veil on top of your head, for the sound of your dad stifling his sobs beside you,

for the image of Joel waiting for you at the end of the aisle, for the tears in his eyes, for the smile on his face,

for him,

for you,

It was all worth it,

Yes, yes it definitely was.

— — —

Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I'm his lady And, oh, my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn't it give some perspective? And, no, you can't come to the wedding I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us #joel miller x fem reader #but daddy i love him #taylor swift

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perrigoaway · 3 days

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Gina and Ema outfit swap (their outfits are SO similar already) and various doodles :D

‼️ SPOILERS BENEATH THE CUT ‼️

I’ve been wanting to post fan art from Resolve for forever now, but I was so terrified of spoiling other people on here TT this game is literally so good that I would feel so bad if I spoiled any part of it for someone, it’s so exciting when you see things happen in the game!

Some thoughts in general on Resolve! Oh my god TT that scene with the Kazuma revival.. it literally makes me want to CRY when I watch it, or listen to it or THINK about it or-

The expressions they all have in that scene never fail to get to me. Kazuma’s initial look, then his expression softening as he finally sees Ryunosuke and Susato, THR FACE RYUU MAKES WHEN HE ACTUALLY GETS TO SEE KAZUMA IN FULL?? they should’ve gotten to hug, guys. The line where Kazuma says something like “thank you for guiding my friend here, when I could not..” !!?????!! STOP IT FOREVER..

also, I’ve come to really like Homumiko as a ship, their relationship feels very genuine and warm to me. There was an incredible post on here by user I’m-on-speeeeeed talking about how the usual deduction theme is in a very difficult and clunky time signature, but in the deduction with Mikotoba.. the time signature in Partners becomes the easiest, most natural one, working together seamlessly like a well oiled machine. They literally complete each other to the extent that even the MUSIC is affected???? Oh my god TT this game really is so freaking good, I wish there was a prequel game with Sholmes and Mikotoba as partners, or maybe even an investigations style spin off, the same way you get to play as Gregory Edgeworth. I would buy that so fast actually

It’s been a while since I rambled so much on here, sorry for being insane about dgs TT

#teagies art #my art #ace attorney #aa #dgs #dgs2 #herlock sholmes #ryunosuke naruhodo #kazuma asogi #iris wilson #gina lestrade #ema skye #yujin mikotoba #asoryuu #homumiko #the great ace attorney #dgs2 spoilers #tgaa2 spoilers

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a-dreamersjournal · 2 days

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Can you hear me?

Listen to me, please. I have been talking to you since forever. Way before there came concepts of This and That, Here and There, Life and death...prior to space and time there used to be US. The magic of YOU and I. Remember how we could never tell where you ended, and where I begin? An eternal truth of a majestic existence.

I want to remind you of the truth, why won't you listen? Why won't you Notice me?

Why after all this time, do you continue to cry? I am here. I am here, right?

Why do you still wait for a sweet escape, why do you not look at me? I am always here. I am in all of those NOWs which make up that fantastical Always.

Look at me, hear me, touch me, but not with your Body. You know we will reunite when you see beyond the veil of everything you think you Understand about me. About Us. A love like ours transcends every logic, look deeper within you and all you will find is me.

Come back Home, to me. Let's be whole again, let's drown in love again.

An Infinitely boundless unconditional Love.

#poetry #literature #spilled ink #prose #spilled thoughts #academia #dear diary #original writing #journal #writers on tumblr #writ #writing #writerscommunity #writeblr #the tortured poets department #exc #excerpts from book i'll never write

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bellarkeselection · 3 days

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1 - Welcoming the Bridgerton’s

Part 2

The Venus Muse

Here's the first chapter y'all! I am sorry to say that I couldn't tag some of you that asked to be added. If you could give me an update profile tag I will add you that way.

Buckingham Palace was always busy with something going on. The royal castle had many children over the years running around it. I knew this place better than anyone else could imagine. And that truth will help me change my life forever.

“Your highness, which tiara would you wish for today?” One of my handmaidens named Sunset asked me.

She was standing by my table vanity that had quite a few tiaras sitting on top of them. Sitting on my bed the fabric of my golden dress swayed when I walked up to her. “The one with three center jewels and the pearl necklace.”

“Of course, my lady.” She nodded where I lowered my head and she set the tiara in the center.

The tiara sparkled when the light bounced off the light coming through the window. I stood in front of the tall mirror eyeing my gown that was golden, short sleeves decorated in lace and was long where you couldn’t see the short brown boots I wore unless my dress flew up from the wind. “Sunset, do you think my mother shall begin pressuring me this year?”

“It is not my place to speak on.”

I reassured her otherwise. “Don’t worry about prying ears. I am asking for your opinion.”

“I would say she seeks what is best for you, Lady Y/n.” Sunset answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

Someone knocked on the outside of my door before another lady in waiting peaked her head inside. “Princess, your mother is coming this direction.” I nodded brushing my hands down the front of my dress.

The door of my bedroom opened for me to see my mother, Lady Danbury and Brimsley all walking up to my room. “I yearn for someone fresh, someone unexpected, to turn this season on its head. That is what we need. There is no room for indifference. Apathy is a blight the monarchy simply cannot endure.”

“Of course, Your Majesty. But remember, a young lady cannot be a diamond until you anoint her as such. So if for any reason you do not find one among the candidates todayâ€¦”

My mother cut off her friend. “Do you think she will return? We have heard nary a peep from Lady Whistledown since last season ended. Perhaps the writer came to her senses. Perhaps she realized taking on her queen was a bad idea, and she will never publish again.”

Lady Danbury responded. “It is a convincing theory, ma'am.”

“Or she simply left for the country, as the rest of us did in the off-season, bored by the lack of any real gossip.”

Lady Danbury made a noise. “Hmm. “

“You do know what that would make her, then?” My mother Queen Charlotte trailed off.

I finished her sentence being fair too noisy, needing to listen to the conversation of the famous gossiping writer. “One of us.”

“My darling daughter, you look radiant as ever.” My mother turned away from her friend to face me.

I sent her a smile waving to Lady Danbury to not be rude. “It’s good to see you, Lady Danbury.”

“Good to see you too, Princess Y/n.” She smiled.

My mother clasped her hands together in front of her puffy white dress. “I have been needing to speak with you and what this evening needs to entail for you and your happiness.”

“You wish for me to marry a prince and provide heirs for the crown.” I rolled my eyes already thinking of the answer she would say.

Yet to my surprise she said almost the opposite. “I wish for you to have happiness and many children. It would help if your husband was royalty, but it is not a requirement.”

“It isn’t?” Knitting my brows in confusion.

She takes my hands in hers. “I didn’t get the chance to search for love on my own. My brother arranged my marriage with your father. So I secretly hope that you, my firstborn daughter, can have some fun.”

“Mother, Iâ€¦that means so much to me.” I smiled through some happy tears.

Footsteps came down the long hallway and around the corner before we saw my father’s servant named Reynolds. “My Queen, my princess. I have news.” He bowed with a hand behind his back.

“What is it, Reynolds?” I asked him.

He shifted his gaze to mine. “You're father is having an episode, Princess.”

“Ohâ€¦” I made a noise in discomfort. I knew of his illness

That was the secret my mother and the rest of my siblings and I kept hidden from thr world. They needed to believe that the king was just always busy and so his wide made the appearances out on the town. “Hmm it appears we may have to cancel the ball tonight for the Bridgertons.” My mother sighed in defeat knowing her husband came first.

“We shall not cancel.” My mother and Reynolds’s both shifted their attention over to me when I had spoken up the opposite of what they assumed would need to be done. “We should not cancel because I can represent the family in your place, mother.”

She tapped her chin in thought. “I suppose that could solve our problem. I don't wish to cancel the months of preparation that were put into this.”

“Exactly that would be a tragedy.”

The queen turned to her husband's helper with instructions. “Inform my husband I will come to his aid. Brimsley?”

“Yes, your Majesty.”

She gave him a different set of orders. “Inform the Viscount Bridgerton that my daughter shall be appearing tonight before myself.” He bowed and went in a different direction then Reynolds.

“Thank you, mother.” I smiled curtseying to her before we parted for the evening. It was quite a few hours before the ball with our castle subjects and the Bridgertons would even begin. By the evening the moon was shining up in the sky and the grand ballroom was lit up like a christmas tree.

Standing silently outside the currently shut double doors I stopped fiddling with my dress when one of the royal guards gave me a head nod saying it was time. I could hear the announcer's voice before the doors had even begun opening. “May I present to you her royal highness. The daughter of King George and Queen Charlotte, Princess Y.n of England.”

“Thank you, sir.” I whispered to another guard that came to me when I had made my entrance through the doors feeling all eyes on me. Sucking in a tiny breath he escorted me to the small throne before we unlinked arms leaving me on my own. The small crown on my head had never felt so heavy as it did right now. “Greetings my subjects. I am here to announce that my mother got called away tonight for an emergency. But she saw no reason why this event couldn’t go on as planned. So with that in mind let me extend a warm welcome to Violet Bridgerton and her family for traveling here for a few months.”

Everyone began clapping and cheering with an older looking woman who had dark brown hair up in a crown on her head that came up to me and gave a lovely curtsey. “Princess, it is a pleasure to get an invitation.”

“I hope I can get to meet your family greatly over your stay, Lady Bridgerton.”

“Princess Y/n, may I ask you something?” Someone called my name causing me to lift my gaze up noticing someone moving through the crowd. The figure paused beside the Bridgerton woman who seemed to give the man a confused but amused depression on her face.

I clicked my tongue and answered the stranger's question. “What is your question, my lord?”

“I was wondering if you would accept my offer for a dance together this evening.” The stranger seemed similar to the woman he was standing beside him. I was fairly certain they were related, but which son was he if they were.

He extended his hand up to me and I smiled, placing my smaller hand in his larger one. “I accept so long as I know which Bridgerton are you?”

“Benedict, Benedict Bridgerton.” He replied leading me out and onto the dance floor with the entire room having theur eyes focused on the two of us.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

Tag list - just ask to be added @abq654 @your-musicguru @imgondeletedis @eruannaaa-blog @cherrylovers-world @benedictbridgertonss @callmedarlingsstuff @carrotcaratsworld @sillynilly27 @emmampl-blog2 @bright-molina @erynel1zasworld @ynbutbetter @stranger-chan @blckbarbiedoll @sanaar3006 @ritz-hell-hotel

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vortex-of-beats · 2 days

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It’s been a week now.

It’s been extremely difficult to collect my thoughts and say all of the things I wish to say. I truly never imagined that I’d be writing a post such as this one and every time the realization hits me, it kills me. My heart feels completely shattered and it’s proven to be a very tough week to navigate through. Since my blog started with my love for the GazettE, I had to pay my respects here too.

I discovered the GazettE in 2009. I was only 13 years old. The very first song I ever listened to was Filth in the Beauty. I was hooked instantly and from there, my love for them blossomed. They helped me get through some tough times and accompanied me through the good times. I have so many beautiful memories with the GazettE and I hold them very close. From all of the fantastic music, the funny interviews and backstage videos, the numerous albums and memorabilia, the outstanding music videos on repeat, to all of the amazing friends I’ve met along the way. For that, I am forever grateful to them.

In 2016, I had the opportunity to see the GazettE live and meet them in person. I cried like a baby. It was the best concert I’ve ever been to. They blew me away with their performance and stage presence. They were absolutely amazing as always! ❤️ Hearing Vortex live was a dream come true. Seeing them live and in person was a dream come true.

I remember greeting every single member clearly. All of them were super kind with warm smiles and firm handshakes. I’ll never forget how warm and friendly Reita’s smile was. How welcoming and how full of life it was. How firm his handshake was. I hold it all so close to me. Thank you for an awesome concert. You did so well as you always do ❤️

Reita, I can’t believe it’s been a week already. Time feels like it’s passing slower than ever. Losing you has felt like losing a long-time friend. It’s proving extremely difficult to see a future without you. Amidst all of this sadness, I know you’re here with us and you always will be. We will stay strong for you and we will take care of the other members for you. The GazettE will always be 5. ❤️

To our eternal bassist 🌟✨

Whose love and love for music forever remains infinite, thank you for everything. Thank you for the beautiful memories and being an inspiration to so many.

Shine brightly from the sky, Reita.

You’ll live on eternally in all of our hearts. We will always love you and you will be forever missed. ❤️

GAZEROCK IS NOT DEAD!

#reita #the gazette #reita the gazette #rest in peace reita #eternal rock star #gazerock is not dead

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draculasfavoritewife · 3 days

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No Word For Hero

Summary: You love him and the way he will always be your protector, but sometimes facing the truth is the most terrifying thing of all.

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!Reader

Warnings: Nightmares and discussions of death. The one-two punch of angst and fluffiness all in one. This one is a fair bit more somber than my other Mando stuff.

Another trope I will never ever get tired of -- the "having a nightmare while sleeping with your partner" routine! 🥳 Gets me in my feels every time, particularly with a character like Din who (to me at least) canonically also has frequent nightmares. I first drafted this one a couple summers ago as a result of all my feelings after that big moment in "The Marshal", as I'm sure will be obvious.

*Translations of less common words/phrases in Mando'a at the end

It's coming, exploding up from beneath the billowing sands, looming over everyone, titanic, monstrous, ravenous....

...He turns to you, ever so briefly, tilts his head in that meaningful look you know all too well...that damn look that means he's going to play hero again.

Damn his altruism.

When is he going to stop?

You already know that answer, too. It lurks forever in the back of your mind, awake or asleep, always whispering there, a constant venom ever deepening its grasp around your heart until one day the cold reality finally breaks it.

He'll stop when he finally doesn't come back to you.

When he's at last granted the warrior's death you know he desires.

Only then.

You can't even scream as he disappears down the dragon's throat, too frozen with horror to make a sound....

You bolt upright, gasping for breath, damp hair clinging to your face and tears running down, their salty tang sharp on your lips.

Stupid nightmares.

"Go away," you mutter, rubbing harshly at your eyes. "Just stop."

The cot is small, realistically much too small for two adults, and your distress is painfully evident to the man sharing it with you, whose arm has just been violently dislodged from its place around your torso.

"Bad dream?"

He sounds tired. He hardly ever sleeps through a full night at the best of times, and even then it's rarely a deep sleep.

If the old saying "sleep with one eye open" were actually true, Din would be its personification.

You curse your overactive mind a second time, for disturbing his precious few moments of rest along with your own.

"I'm fine." You don't lie back down, instead pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms tightly around them. Normally you find his quarters chilly, but the adrenaline coursing through your veins makes the room suddenly feel close and stuffy.

He shifts against you in the dark, no doubt to study your posture. "You don't sound fine."

You sigh. "I will be. You should try and get some sleep, Din."

You hear him lean back into the wall, a long exhale betraying stiffness somewhere in his muscles.

You've offered him the side of the bed that's not right up against the wall, but to your surprise he actually likes to be pressed closely between your body and the solidness of metal at his back.

You suspect it gives him a sense of security in a life that holds so little for him.

"I'm sorry I woke you," you add before he can speak again.

"You didn't." His revelation is cool and distant, as if his lack of rest means nothing to him. "I haven't slept at all tonight."

You turn to stare at him in dismay, only to be met with the void of deep darkness. "Why didn't you --"

"What? Wake you up to tell you I can't sleep?" Somehow you know he's shaking his head at you. "That fixes nothing, Cyar'ika. My sleep was disturbed since long before we met." His voice softens as he reaches for you, his large, comfortingly familiar hand stroking down your side. "But when I have you in my arms, listening to your breathing, I can at least find some peace. And that is often enough."

You let out another shuddering breath and gaze out into the dim compartment, the images from your nightmare replaying over and over behind your eyes like a holovid stuck on loop.

"I think I need some air," you murmur.

"Take my shirt, then." You're grateful he doesn't try to stop you; he knows you were taking care of yourself for a long time before you two struck up your partnership. He trusts you to look out for danger.

"Vor'e, Cyare." You slide from the bed, his fingers trailing away from your hip as you break from his gentle touch. He watches as you blindly take his shirt from the pile of clothes left on the floor and pull it over your head, pausing only to grab a vibroblade before exiting his quarters.

"I'll come back," you promise softly.

And the words sting deep down as they leave your lips, knowing that one day, one of you might not be able to keep that promise.

The night is cool and clear on this planet, and the breeze smells like living growth from the thick woods nearby. It's a far cry from the dust and smoke of so many of the worlds you've stayed on before, and soon you start to calm down, heartbeat returning to normal and perspiration drying at the wind's light touch. Everything is peaceful around you, the night birds calling and water flowing somewhere behind the trees.

Not for the first time, your thoughts stray towards the impossibility of trying to stay somewhere like this place, to drop everything you know and carve out a life on a frontier planet somewhere. You and Din and Grogu, living modestly and secretly away from the prying eyes of the Imperials or the Jedi, pretending at normalcy....

There's the key word.

Pretending.

You've played many parts since you lost your buir so many years ago. Dancer in the clubs of the Core worlds, thief, animal wrangler, pilot, hired gun. You could adapt, you feel fairly certain. It's the skill that's most reliably kept you alive this long.

But Din....

He's so deeply entrenched in his upbringing. His honor, and the hunt, mean everything to him. Whatever else he tries to be, he will always be the Mandalorian first and foremost. The Way runs through his veins, thicker than blood, and the fierce heart of a warrior beats beneath the beskar.

It's why he will ultimately always make sacrifices to keep those under his protection safe.

It's who he is. His identity.

The reason that one day he might not emerge from the belly of the beast in triumph.

And you love him, exactly the way he is. You'd never ask him to change.

But Maker, sometimes the knowledge of what that means hurts deeper than any physical wound.

So you stand there at the edge of the woods and let the tears come, let the sobs wrack your body as you bury yourself deeper in his comforting shirt, praying that the day never comes that all you have left are memories and clothes that smell like him.

Eventually, your grief runs its course and you can breathe once again. The crunch of footsteps in the damp grass warrants a side glance, but as you thought, it's only your beroya, come to check on you, no doubt.

"You've been out here a long time," he remarks.

"Had a lot on my mind."

He encircles you in his arms from behind, chin resting in the dip of your shoulder. You're surprised that he didn't replace his helmet to come out here, but sunrise is still a long way off.

"I'm usually the one with the nightmares," he teases softly. "This one must have been rough. Want to talk?"

You find his hands at your waist, interlock your fingers with his.

"I lost someone. Someone very important to me."

Turning slightly so you can rest your cheek against his, you kiss the very edge of his lips. "It scares me, Din."

He's quiet for some time, and you try to imagine the expression on his face.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispers. "I can't give you anything but my word that I will always try my hardest to come back to you. That is what fuels me, ner'kar'ta. The fire in my blood, the strength in my bones, is knowing that I need to make it back for you. But I realize that it is a double-edged blade. Because it also means I would give everything, to keep you safe in the end."

"I know, Din. I remember what my buir used to tell me, you know, how we have no word for 'hero' in our mother tongue, because to be Mando'ade is to risk all for the ones you love. I know I'm so selfish." You turn all the way around at last, hiding your face in his bare chest. "But I accept your vow. And it will have to be enough."

Collecting yourself and finally raising your haunted gaze to his, you manage a small smile. "But I will fight for you, Din Djarin. Death will find one hell of a struggle when it finally comes for you, I can promise you that."

"There's my girl." The fond grin in his voice is audible. "Now, will you come back to bed? It's getting lonesome in there."

You let him lead you back to the ship, and the sigh of the wind now seems to promise to whisk your fears away for the time being.

The door slides shut behind you, and you shiver, realizing all of a sudden just how cold you are. His shirt is a welcome barrier against the biting chill, and you wonder how he was able to get along without it outside.

"Cold?" he asks.

"Yes." You reach out for him, wordlessly begging for his warmth.

He sidesteps you and folds his arms across his chest. "Take it off," he demands, and indicates the shirt with a nod, husky voice brimming with humor and a shade of something hungrier. "Or I will."

You hug the worn fabric closer to your body and shake your head mutinously. "But it's the only thing keeping me warm!"

"So you've chosen the hard way." He crosses the small space in a couple of long strides and starts to tease the garment off of you, bit by agonizing bit. "And how dare you let a piece of clothing do a man's job."

"You're making me cold again," you complain as he pulls you into bed with him, the hunter retreating back to his lair to finish off his fortunate prey.

"Then honor dictates I repair the damage I've caused," he hums, and you surrender to the bliss of being completely enveloped in his embrace. Din has always run hot, ever since you started sleeping together, and his warmth and familiar weight are so much better than any sweet dream of yours could be.

In the here and now, he's still alive, and he's still yours.

There will be no more tears tonight.

"Better?" he growls into your throat.

You run your fingers through his thick curls, sighing at the way he always manages to banish all of your dark thoughts away. And maybe now there will even be time for him to get some sleep before morning as well.

"I am now."

Vor'e = Thank you

Buir = Parent

Beroya = Bounty Hunter

Ner'kar'ta = My heart

Mando'ade = Child of Mandalore

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wehangout · 3 days

Note

hiii. for the kiss list, 6 or 30 😊

Send me a number and I’ll write a gallavich kiss 👄

Thank you! I went with 30 because 6 is just not my thing 😊

30. - - as comfort (I've struggled with this one, but was inspired by the to shut them up kiss here, so this continues from that.)

You took the L to the clinic just because you know Ian likes the walk from your apartment to the nearest L stop. You have to pass a bunch of little shops that sell crystals or coffee pods or customised dog accessories. Ian calls them boutiquey. You call them bougie.

The little shops don't seem to help - even on the walk home when he's seen the doc and got his meds adjusted, been given the usual don't-worry-Ian-this-is-incredibly-common-and-things-will-settle-soon speech. Even when you casually remind him of how long the last set of meds lasted which "is really fucking awesome, Ian". None of it seems to work.

Which. Obviously.

But you'd hoped it might have at least put a smile on his face.

And when he pauses outside the vegan cafe he convinced you to try once (and there was no talking you into it, but he sure as hell used his mouth), he looks at you with a look you know and hate. A look you haven't seen since he tried to give you a fucking promise ring.

You open your mouth, but he gets there first.

"Just another version of me, huh?"

You stare at him, so many thoughts and feelings running through your head that you don't know what to say. Finally, you step closer and reach up to cup his face.

"Look at me, Ian." He does, but you can tell it's grudgingly. "Clearly my vows weren't enough to make you realise I'm in this for the long haul, sickness and fucking health, so listen up. You're fuckin' stuck with me."

He sighs. "Mickey."

"Every single goddamn version of you is stuck with me, Ian. And not a single one of them will ever succeed at pushing me away."

The breath he lets out is shaky. "Shit, Mick."

Maybe outside the vegan cafe wasn't the best place for your declaration of love if the shininess of his eyes is anything to go by, but you push on, making sure he's still looking at you.

"Love you, man. And you signed that marriage certificate, so fuck you. You're stuck."

His laugh is wet and weak. "Stuck, huh?"

"Forever."

His eyes close, and for the first time that day, he looks somewhat peaceful. You lean in, smooth his hair away from his face with your other hand, and kiss his forehead, his nose, his lips. You don't give a fuck what pretentious douchebag is around to witness it, you press your mouth to Ian's in a short but lingering kiss.

He sighs into your mouth and murmurs against your lips. "Every version is stuck with you? All of them?"

You smirk into your next kiss. "Every fucking one of them."

#krysmiss #ian and mickey #gallavich fic #gallavich #my fic #kiss prompts

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charliesloser · 15 hours

Text

HAPPY LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK BITCHES!! i bring you angst.

——

Redemption

Chaggie x Emilute

——

“But she was right, Sera,” Emily sang, hopodiah up the paper, “she showed us a soul can improve, he saw the light Sera,” she flew up, “checked all the boxes the you said would..” Emily continued and Lute felt guilt coming up in the pit of her stomach.

“It’s not fair, Sera,” Charlie jumped in, a mix of determination and anger spread on her face.

“Careful, Charlie, keep a cool head,” Vaggie placed a hand on Charlie’s shoulder.

“No!” Charlie pushed her hand off and walked forward, “don’t you care, Sera? That just because someone is dead, it doesn’t mean they can’t resolve to change their ways! Turn their backs, escape infernal blaze!”

“I really wish it could be so, but there’s a lot that you don’t know!”

Lute knows she’s gonna retreat this, but she chimes in as well, “what are we even talking about, some crack whore who fucked up already?!” Lute avoided Emily’s eyes, “he blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth this discussion is sensless and petty!”

Adams jumps up and the two start singing, “there’s no question to be posed, he’s unholy case closed, did you forget that hell is forever?!”

Adam smirks, “a man only lives once, we’ll see you in one month!” He steps closer to Charlie, “gotta say I can’t wait to..”

“Adam..” Lute mumbles under her breath.

“Come down an exterminate you!”

“Wait!” Emily flies down.

“Shit..” Lute looks away.

“What are you saying? Let me get this straight, you go down there and kill those poor souls?” Emily was furious.

“You didn’t know?” Charlie tilts her head.

Lute takes a deep breath, “guess the cats out of the bag,” she puts on a fake smile.

“What’s the big deal?” Adam smirks.

“Sera,” Emily looks at Sera with pleading eyes, “tell me that you didn’t know.”

Sera flew down there, “I thought since I’m older, it’s my load to shoulder!

“No..”

“You have to listen, it was such a hard decision!” Sera reached her hands out but Emily pulled away, “I wanted to save you, the anguish it takes to do what was required!”

Emily clenches her fists and starts flying, “to think that I admired you, well I don’t need your condescension, I’m not a child to protect! Was talk of virtue just pretension? Was I too naive to expect you to heed the morals you’re proveying?” Emily flies down to Charlie.

Charlie nods, “that’s what the fuck I’ve been saying!”

They grabbed each other hands, “if hell is forever then heaven must be a lie! If angels can do whatever and remain in the sky! The rules are shades of grey if you don’t do as they say, when you make the retched suffer just to kill them again!”

“I was told not trust in angels,” Charlie gave Vaggie a soft look and she gave the princess a look of guilt.

“By her?” Adam smirks.

Lute knew she was in deep shit so she just doesn’t care anymore, “ha! She should go,” she smirks and places an arm on Vaggie.

Vaggie pushes her off and walked closer to her girlfriend, “we should go-”

“No!” Charlie grabbed her hands, “don’t you see we’ve come so close? Look at them fighting, they’re at each others throats!”

“Don’t you act all high and mighty,” Lute and Adam circled Vaggie, “did you ever think your little girlfriend might be a liar?” Adam smirked.

“Adam, don’t, please..”

“What’s the fuss?” Adam walked closer to her, “why hide the fact that you’re an angel just like us?” Lute pulled on Vaggie and made her face Charlie with a smirk.

Charlie had a look of anger, confusion, and terror in her eyes as she fell to her knees. Her hands were in her face as she starts crying and Vaggie runs to her, wrapping her arms around her.

——

The portal closes as soon as Charlie and Vaggie are back in hell. Vaggies heart is beating and Charlie’s eyes are red and puffy from crying. A lot was revealed today, and neither of them know how to feel.

“Charlie-” before Vaggie can even get a chance to speak, Charlie walks out of their room. She groans and plops down on the bed, her face in the pillows.

There was a knock on the door, “go away!” Vaggies voice was muffled because of the pillows.

Despite what she had said, Angel barged in. “Hey, so Charlie just ran out of the hotel with her horns and tail out. Mind telling me what happened?” Charlie usually only has her demon form out when she’s really stressed or emotional.

“I. Don’t. Want. To. Talk.” Vaggie mumbles into the pillows.

“Talkin’ about it will make ya feel better, toots,” Angel sits on the bed.

Vaggie sighs and rolls on her back, looking up at Angel. She knew he wasn’t gonna give up. “So, let’s just say a lot happened at the meeting,” she sighs and he gave her a look that tells her to continue, “well, apparently no one but the head seraphim and the exorcists knew about the exterminations.”

“Oh?” Angel crosses his arms.

“And we used you as an example, but they still believe that no soul can be redeemed,” Vaggie rolls her eyes. She left out the one part that Angel deserves to know, and Angel picked up on that.

“Is that all?” He tilts his head.

Vaggie takes a deep breath and stands up from the bed, looking out if the window. “No, there’s..” she turns to look at him, “there’s something else that I need to say,” she sighs and Angel nods, “it was revealed that..I used to be an exorcist angel.”

——

Emily’s in her room, her head pounding and her heart racing. There was so much that was impacted in that meeting and she doesn’t know how to handle it all.

There was a knock, “come in,” her voice was soft and the door opened and shut. Her back was facing the door and she was sitting on her bed so she couldn’t see who walked in, but she didn’t need to see. She just knew who it was because it’s the same person who comes to see her after every meeting.

Lute takes a deep breath, “Em, I-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Emily stands up and turns to face Lute.

“Please-”

“No! You’ve kept something from me you knew that I deserved to know! These exterminations have been happening for god knows how long, and you didn’t tell me!” Emily snaps, “those souls, human souls..they don’t deserve that, demon or not!”

“If you understood-”

“What I don’t understand is-” Emily sighs, “what I don’t understand is how you could keep something like this from someone you fell in love with.”

“Emily, please-” Emily ignores Lute and flies out her window.

Lute clenches her fists and throws her helmet on the ground.

——

Charlie returns to the hotel. Her hair was a mess and she had dark circles under her eyes. Vaggie looks over, she was sitting on the couch with Angel.

Charlie yawns as she drags her feet to the bar, ignoring Vaggie and Angel. She isn’t one to drink, but she really needs this.

Husk raises an eyebrow as he makes her a drink, something light since she isn’t really used to it, and hands it to her, “you look like shit.”

Charlie groans, “you have no idea,” she takes a sip of her drink and makes a weird face, shaking her head.

“I heard..what happened,” Husk sighs, “do you wanna talk about it?”

“Depends..is she here?” Charlie asked.

Husk shakes his head, “Angel took her out..she looked like she needed a break.”

Charlie scoffs, “she needs a break? As if she didn’t lie to me for years? We share everything together, she should’ve known that I would’ve understood if she told me that she was an exorcist angel.”

Husk opens his mouth, but closes it, trying to figure out what to say. He opens it again, “well, did you try asking her why she didn’t tell you?”

Charlie looks down and shakes her head, “I’m..afraid of her answer.”

Husk sighs, pouring himself a drink, “you know,” he takes a big drink, “it’s okay to be scared, that’s apart of life..but so is talking. Relationships aren’t always so perfect. Fights and mistakes are what makes them healthy and special. I’m not saying that you need to fight 24/7, I’m saying that..you guys will overcome this situation. All you need to do is talk it out.”

Charlie sighs. She knew that Husk was right and she nods, “when did you get so good at this relationship stuff?” She jokes with a smile.

Husk smiles back as he looks at Angel, who’s talking to Vaggie, “since I got into one myself,” he looks back at Charlie, “now, go talk to her. Make things right.”

Charlie nods, taking a deep breath before standing up. She slowly makes her way to the couch and Vaggie looked up from her conversation with Angel, making eye contact with Charlie. Charlie holds her hand out with pleading eyes and Vaggie doesn’t hesitate to take it.

——

Lute finds Emily on the top of a mountain, but not just any mountain. It was the mountain Emily took them in their first date, before they made it official. Lute remembers it like it was yesterday.

Emily had taken them to the tallest mountain in heaven to have a picnic. She decorated it so the trees lit up and the pink roses were brighter than before. Back then was so easy, Lute thought. Never in a million years would she had thought that Emily found out about the exterminations.

Without saying anything, Lute turns to fly away, thinking about how stupid this is, but she stops herself when she hears a voice, “you know..” Lute gulps and turns to look back at Emily, “maybe I overreacted.”

Lute tilts her head as she sits down next to Emily, their legs hanging off the edge of the cliff. “What do you mean?”

Emily sighs as she stares at the city of heaven, “maybe I overreacted..” she repeats herself, “after finding out about the exterminations,” she pauses, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped, it’s just..we’ve been dating for a few months and you’ve..kept something from me that goes against what I’m trying to stop.”

Lutes breath is shaky as she opens her mouth, but then closes it. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t find the right words.

The two were quiet for like 15 minutes, neither knowing what to say. Until Emily opened her mouth, “can we just..forget about everything?” She takes a glance at Lute, “maybe I overreacted, I just-”

Lute takes Emily’s hand into her own, “it’s okay, you didn’t overreact. I should’ve told you about the exterminations to begin with, I acted stupid,” she sighs, “I’m sorry, I really am.”

——

“I’m sorry, I really am,” Vaggie speaks, her voice is quiet and soft. She and Charlie were sitting on their bed, “I’d understand if you didn’t forgive me, or if you needed time..I should’ve told you, I was just scared, and..”

“Vaggie-” Charlie tries to cut in.

“When you found me that day, you were so nice to me..”

“Vaggie-” Charlie tried again.

“I just..I don’t understand..how you could be so nice to someone you knew nothing about. I didn’t tell you because I was scared..scared of losing the best thing that happened to me..and I’d understand if you wanted t-”

“Vaggie!” Finally, Vaggies eyes meet Charlie’s. She was expecting a look of anger and disappointment, but she was brought a look of love. Charlie cups Vaggies face, “it’s okay,” she whispers, “I promise..I overreacted and I should’ve let you explain. I was hurt, but I’m not now. I just..wish you would’ve told me sooner, and I would’ve preferred finding out from you and not some prick,” the princess smiles when she hears Vaggie let out a chuckle. She presses a kiss onto her forehead before pulling her in for a hug, “I love you.”

Vaggie smiles for the first time in a few days, “more than anything.”

#hazbin hotel #chaggie #charlie morningstar #vaggie #emilute #hazbin hotel lute #emily hazbin hotel

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letteredlettered · 1 day

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Lest you think I only have good things to say about TGCF forever--well, that's ultimately true but I'm also ultimately annoyed about the treatment of Hua Cheng as a character.

Listen. Wanting to put your god on a pedestal and lick the floor for him/die for him/efface your entire self for him AND fuck him through the floor/violate every part of his body until he begs for mercy/tease him and embarrass him so much he can't stand his own skin AND live as BFF husbands on somewhat even footing are three very different things.

I want to see how Hua Cheng reconciles being quite honestly ready to murder the first person in sight because Xie Lian had some slight question about his devotion to his god's cause, with purposely embarrassing him and teasing him and calling him gege. But we don't really get anything about his private thoughts? He is never presented as having inner conflicts, other than regret that Xie Lian has suffered pain?

Like, there is a suggestion that he knows his obsession with Xie Lian and the ways in which he is obsessed could be seen as creepy and freakish, but it gets washed away when Xie Lian says it doesn't bother him and still wants to kiss him. There are several demonstrations of his self-loathing, and yet it doesn't get aired like everyone else's dirty laundry does.

And then there's the part where you find out that Hua Cheng has sacrificed a part of his body rather than any part of a group of humans who were doomed to die anyway. And you know that this is a huge deal for him, because the whole reason he was with those humans at Mt Tonglu was so that he could be strong enough to come back to Xie Lian and protect him. Except we also know that again, Hua Cheng had no compunction about helping Xie Lian commit genocide and regocide and countless murders; like he had no interest or respect for human life at all when it came to doing whatever Xie Lian bid him to do. So it's in fact a huge fucking deal that in the end, Hua Cheng would rather hurt himself than anybody else, except that is not really explored in the novel.

I mean, you can say that the only reason Hua Cheng-as-Wuming didn't care about murders was that Xie Lian wanted the murders, which made the murders all justified in Wuming's mind, and, that since Xie Lian wasn't there at Mt Tonglu, Hua Cheng just had to go with his own instincts instead of Xie Lian wanting murders, so in the end Hua Cheng's own instinct was self-sacrifice. You could also say, I guess, that Hua Cheng hated his eye anyway so it's not the same sort of sacrifice it would have been had it been another body part.

But even if that's the case, I'd want it to be explored. Like, isn't it likely that Hua Cheng chose self-sacrifice because he knew Xie Lian would choose self-sacrifice, because he knew that a Xie Lian not driven mad with grief and pain would not want to harm others to further his own cause? At the same time, Hua Cheng is not shown to make choices that will align with Xie Lian's values at other parts in the book. In fact, Hua Cheng consciously and purposely makes choices that he thinks could or even would disgust Xie Lian, because it's more important to Hua Cheng to make those choices if they protect and preserve Xie Lian than it is for Hua Cheng to make choices that would make Xie Lian look at him fondly or proudly. So, it's such a big deal that deep down, Hua Cheng does want to care about and protect others, even people who aren't Xie Lian, but it's just mentioned in passing at almost the very end and never explored.

And then these 800 years, what was Hua Cheng even doing? I mean, I get it, it takes a lot of time to carve ten thousand statues, especially the ones where you need to get his cock just right for....reasons, but I thought we were going to get some kind of explanation of what he did during this time. Why did he decide to finally approach Xie Lian when he did? Like, I think the conversation between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng-as-the-little-ghost-fire is supposed to explain part of why Hua Cheng stayed away for so long--XL says "if your beloved knows you couldn't find peace just because you wanted to protect them, wouldn't they feel guilty?" And the ghost says that then he would just protect his beloved from afar.

But was Hua Cheng protecting Xie Lian? Because it seems like Xie Lian getting trampled to death (as "General" Hua) and then getting killed and buried in a coffin (as State Preceptor Fengxin) is not very protective? Like, Hua Cheng did a bad job there.

It seems like the fics I'm reading are going with the idea that Hua Cheng couldn't find Xie Lian. Hua Cheng does say he did search for Xie Lian and couldn't find him, but we know this is a bald-faced lie. Hua Cheng says this when Xie Lian asks him if Hua Cheng ever saw him outside of Xianle, because Xie Lian has become concerned that Hua Cheng saw his downfall after his banishment and his descent into genocidal madness before his second ascension. But we know that Hua Cheng did see that, which means Hua Cheng is very much lying about not being able to find Xie Lian after the fall of Xianle.

But sure, you can posit that after Hua Cheng-as-Wuming almost disperses all the way and then comes back, he can't find Xie Lian again. I think you can also assume that Wuming's dispersal is more total and complete than Hua Cheng's dispersal after he breaks Xie Lian's shackles, so I think you can easily posit that it takes Hua Cheng at least a century to return as a complete person after Xie Lian's second ascension/banishment. And I can imagine that even after fully returning amassing wealth and power takes time, but here's where I get stumped--Hua Cheng is does not read as someone who would sit around and wait to have enough wealth and power to protet Xie Lian before trying to protect Xie Lian. I imagine that the first thing he does as soon as he can like, move independently in the world is look for him, even if only to help him from afar. And yet, as previously stated...Xie Lian really didn't seem like he got much help in those 800 years.

Perhaps we can assume that once Xie Lian ascends (why does he ascend the third time? Never addressed? Also annoyed about this) Black Water/Earth Master/He Xuan now can report on Xie Lian's exact whereabouts, but there's still no good explanation for why super over-powered Hua Cheng would not be able to find Xie Lian for 800 years. I mean, it's not exactly a needle in a haystack here. Xie Lian is a singular person. Just follow disaster, honestly. I guess Hua Cheng didn't know about the shackle on Xie Lian's luck, but he has figured out a lot of Xie Lian's past, right? I don't understand why he hasn't figured that out.

(And another thing--does Hua Cheng even know why Xie Lian got banished the second time? Does he even know that Xie Lian asked for the shackles? Doesn't he want to know everything he possibly can about Xie Lian? If he's unwilling to ask, I'd understand, but again--everyone else's dirty laundry gets out there, but here there's this thing that is so central to Hua Cheng's and Xie Lian's relationship, unexplored.)

My problem isn't that Hua Cheng lives and exists for Xie Lian. That's who he is, and I think I wouldn't like or love him as a character if I thought he needed to have more in his life than his single-minded devotion. But single-minded devotion can contain a lot more dimension and conflict than I think ultimately got explored, and there are and some super salient events in his life that are really defining moments. It makes him feel a lot more one-dimensional than I feel like the character is set up to be.

The fic so far honestly gives him a more interesting treatment, imo. He's a lot more tortured about whether to fuck or worship and how to do both, which I guess I'm ultimately saying is what I really want from that character. I find him deeply lovable, interesting, and fascinating, I just didn't think the book really spent time with the most interesting parts of him.

#hua cheng #tgcf

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mitchhbitch · 2 days

Text

Save Me From Myself

Nick Folio x Reader

Warnings: Depression. Blood. Implied self harm. Bad Thoughts. If this makes you uncomfortable or you are under 18, please don't read this. Thank You.

Tags : @thescarlettvvitch @thefallennightmare @spicywhenspeaking @artificialbreezy @dsireland86

Authors Note: I wrote this because it expressed how I have been feeling these past couple of days. I know this topic is a very hard topic for some or all but I think it should be talked about. If this isn't for you, thats okay. Please don't feel like you have to read it. Im sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. I picked Nick Folio in this because he is a comfort person to me. If you are having a bad day or feeling down, my inbox is always open for you.

You and Nick have been living together for 4 years. He knows you like the back of his hand. Nick knows when you are having a good day and when you are having a horrible day.

Today was one of your worst days. You have dealt with depression ever since you were a child. Therapy session after therapy session, it had all been the same.

Nick has been at the studio since the morning. Before leaving he gave you a kiss on the head and whispered “i love you” trying to not wake you up. You pretended to be asleep because your head was running in circles all night keeping you awake. Thought after thought, it just wouldn't go away or stop.

Once you hear him leave, you get up to use the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror. An image of someone you don't recognize anymore. Bad thoughts start running in your head. You ask yourself “why is he with me?” “why does he want to be with someone who has all this trauma and who isn't pretty enough?” You scream at the mirror grabbing the closest thing to you, breaking it. You watch it break and watch it fall in the sink and on the floor.

You grab one of the pieces bringing it to your wrist. Sobbing at this point, not knowing if it's the right thing to do. A part of you wants to think that it will make the pain go away, the other part wants to think that it will make things worse.

You hear the front door open quickly and close just as fast. Nick is calling out your name with a worried tone. He runs to the bedroom and to the bathroom only to find you standing there with a piece of broken mirror in your hand with blood trickling down your hand. You don't realize how tight you are holding it.

Nick looks at you with a worried expression and slowly goes over to you, takes the piece of mirror away from you and wraps his arms around you holding you. You hold him and sob uncontrollably falling to the ground with Nick. He sits against the bathtub holding onto you. You hold onto him tight not wanting to let go. He rubs your back softly and kisses your head.

You and Nick sit there for what feels like forever. You look up at him with red puffy eyes and with a low voice you say “I’m sorry.”

Nick looks at you “You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry I wasn't here with you. I knew something was wrong and I didn’t ask you if you were okay when I knew you weren’t. Please if you ever have those thoughts in your head again , talk to me. I don't care if I'm in the studio. I will always listen to you. Everything will be okay. I promise you, sweet girl. Know that you are worthy and you are enough. Don't let those bad thoughts win. I need you here with me more than anyone. I love you more than myself.”

Nick held you and stroked your head. He didn't know how long you both were on the floor. It was until he called your name and you didn't answer that he saw you had fallen asleep. He carried you to the bed, laying you down and laying down next to you. Nick held you close to him. He kissed your head and ended up falling asleep a few moments later.

#nick folio #nick folio fanfiction #nick folio x reader #nick folio fic #nick folio bad omens #nicholas folio

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valentine-ofthe-ghostwiththemost · 3 days

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🎸MY THOUGHTS AND HEADCANONS TO ADAM FROM HAZBIN HOTEL - (for now)🍖

Hello hello folks, I've been thinking about writing about this post/blog for a while now and here it is, because Adam is my favorite character (obsession) and I have a lot of things in my head that I need share before I kidnap someone to listen to me talk about it for hours on end.

Hahaha I'm just kidding...or am I?

TW: Mention of profanity and sex.

I'm writing this blog because I have a lot to say about Adam and I think I'm already bothering my friends too much (just kidding, I'm going to keep filling them with Adam until I say enough is enough🤓👆)

Alright, let's start, firstly I was already a big fan of Hazbin hotel's work since the time Vizziepop had released the pilot on YouTube at the time of on October 28, 2019, and man, I was simply OBSESSED with the work, I had no idea who Adam was at that time, I was only 11 years old (And I know, I know, Hazbin Hotel was not and is not intended for minors, but I didn't have internet surveillance on my parents, so that's what happened and now I'm 18 years old).

And boy, oh boy

I was in complete EUPHORIA when it became public on August 7, 2020 that Hazbin Hotel was going to have a sequel on Amazon, I only knew how to talk about it and was excited waiting for the release date.

And when I watched that episode where Charlie has a meeting with Adam...I was like "THAT MAN, I NEED THAT MAN‼️‼️"

And that song..."Hell is Forever"... I can't remember a day that I didn't clean the house listening to that sound and pretending the broom was a guitar while I beat my hair like an 80s rocker high (I know, it's an exaggerated comparison but that's how I feel, so let me have it).

Here, listen to this work of art sung by our (MY) beloved Alex Brightman

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In addition to the song "Stick it to the man" from the musical "School of rock" that Adam references in one of the items on the list of things to get into paradise, coincidentally his voice actor Alex Brightman also He is the main voice of the song and a character in the musical.

I spent all day listening to her today, but that's the least of it

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There are also some songs by other singers that make me think of Adam because of their lyrics, for example Lana del Rey, there is a song of hers that all I think of when I hear it is Adam, unfortunately I can't share it here because it is a discarded song by the singer that I managed to download on a pirated website that has been taken down a while ago.

The songs that make me think of him are "Push me down" and what made me think of Adam is the following part "I'm your little baby doll and you are my mister rock 'n roll", the song "Brooklyn Baby" because of the music part "Well, my boyfriend's in a band, He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed", the others songs are "Say yes to Heaven" and "Angels Forever".

Adam, besides being my favorite character and hyperfocus, was the reason I met the character Beetlejuice (my other hyperfocus) and the voice actor and actor Alex Brightman. Because he was the one who aroused my curiosity to know who his voice actor was since I recognized that his voice was the same as Fizzarolli's, and then when researching and discovering the actor, I also ended up discovering about Beetlejuice, I even have a blog about it, if you want to read it, this is it here.

Just like with Beetlejuice, I'm producing a page with drawings and collages about Adam in my sketchbook that I might post later in a future post about my sketchbook, but that's another topic.

In addition, I'm trying to put together some songs to create a playlist based on him, in it I'm putting rock songs from the 80s that I feel suit him or that he would listen to, some songs by the norwegian singer Aurora which are very reminiscent of and are based on the garden of Eden and Adam from the bible (although the Adam from Hazbin hotel and the one from the bible are completely different).

Some time ago I was writing a fanfic about Adam with an authorial character completely made by me, it was just a fanfic that I had written on character IA but then I decided to write it myself, but I never got around to posting it and kept it stored in my notepad.

The story took place in the timeline of the first season of the series, where heaven discovered that demons and beings from hell now possessed angelic fist weapons and could hurt or kill the exterminating angels after the death of one of the exterminating angels, they would need a new strategy or a new "weapon", and then with the decision of God and all the seraphim, she was created, an angel made to protect heaven and bring back balance by killing sinners in hell, her name was Angelita, and she would be handed over to Adam who would have to train her until the day of the next day of extermination (which would be the day in which Adam dies), throughout the story Adam would begin to feel something for her, unlike Lilith and Eve, he would fall in love out of true love and not obligation, this love between the two would be something forbidden (as a metaphor for the forbidden fruit of Eden) since by God's order she would have to be pure and virgin and that Adam would not fall into temptation for her, I won't tell the rest of the story, if you want I'll make a post just about that (I'll leave you curious hehe), all I can say is that Adam will not die and the ending is tragic, for all sides.

🤘🏻MY HEADCANONS ABOUT ADAM🎸

These headcanons are some things I thought Adam might like, do, or make me think of him, and I'm also writing this because most of the headcanons I find about him are about sex or couples things (Not that they're bad, some are actually quite cute and I read them when I need comfort), so I'm here to contribute some content just about him.

• About how he feels about have been betrayed

I know, Adam is not the best person in the world but man, he is not a monster, he is a human, the first human, unfortunately, human nature is curious and destructive, not that this is an excuse for everything Adam committed. But then I think, "How much did it hurt to be cheated on twice?", "Did he feel worthless, insufficient?", I know how much it hurts to be cheated on, then I think how bad he felt and feels, but he hides it all behind a false personality of "Dick Master" and "The First Man", titles, high ego and falsehood to hide your real self. The only part of Adam that we were shown about him was him being extremely selfish, rude, arrogant and sexist, but all in scenes where he was exposed to people, people who weren't close to him, and then I wonder if he's just all that, but I feel like Adam he's just a hurt man who hides what he feels behind a false personality, just like Angel Dust does. Proof that he cares about people (at least those he considers close) was his smile at Lute as he slowly lost his life in the arms of the exterminating angel who cried seeing him dying. (I cried so much at this scene 😭)

Adam is a sexist character, I can't deny that, but man, he's the first man, no one ever told him what was right and wrong, they always let him do what he wanted from the beginning of his creation, and even in heaven, but now he had Sera to put him in his place at least when she was around.

I might just be taking a shot in the dark or looking for something good in what isn't there, but that's how I think about Adam, so please let me have this, let me see there's still some good there.

• Adam has a chubby body (like a dad body)

Okay, this one took me a while to think about, because a lot of people draw him thin and we never see him without his tunic, which left me quite confused, but after analyzing some scenes and discovering he was made based on his voice actor (Alex Brightman) I had no more doubts.

In these scenes every time he is squeezed his belly ends up being marked and you can clearly see that he is a little chubby. I know there was that scene with Lilith at the beginning that shows him skinny, but let's face it guys, you can see from his scenes in heaven that he eats a lot, do you really think he wouldn't gain a little weight?

And even Lucifer during the fight in hell against him told Adam that he had really let himself go, kind of like he was different before when he was in the garden of Eden.

Honestly, I don't know why people try to say he's skinny, the fanarts are really beautiful and stuff, but come on, don't you think a chubby Adam would make more sense? I'm not saying this because I love chubby men (I think they're incredibly cute and it makes me want to hug them 😫💗) but I don't know, I just think that with all of his diet, which isn't the best, it made him gain a little weight in the meantime.

• He felt bad about being the only human in heaven

This is because of an art I saw on Pinterest and it made me reflect on it. Like, when he got to heaven he was the only one with human appearance, all other angels and winners (human souls who reach heaven) had different appearances, such as animal appearances, for example Molly, Angel Dust's sister, who is a spider.

So I think he may have made that mask with horns to feel more integrated into that society and less different.

•Adam plays guitar when he's feeling bad (sad, distressed, stuff like that)

I imagine that whenever Adam is feeling sad, distressed or even stressed, he goes somewhere alone and plays his guitar in calm chords expressing what he feels through the melody played, it would be calm notes but full of feelings, his black gloved fingers hitting the strings while all there is in the place are just him, his guitar and his mind, and no one else to see him like that.

I think that whenever he remembers Lilith and Eva's betrayals, he feels at least a little bad, and then playing his guitar stops and takes away all that bad feeling in his chest, even if it just goes away temporarily.

I imagine the following scenario, late afternoon almost dusk as the cotton white clouds take on a yellowish tone as the sun slowly sets bringing the night with it, while the sun brought the night with it, in Adam's chest that bitter feeling grew as memories knocked on the door again, leaving him more moody than usual, making him fly away from the city with his guitar to sit on the golden gates of heaven and as he plays the guitar calmly emptying that feeling from his chest so that the next day he pretends that nothing happened, but he knows, he knows that that will forever be stuck in his mind.

• He's not as popular as he says he is

Going back to that topic I said about him hiding behind a false narcissistic personality and high ego, I think that him being popular is a lie, both sexually and in society, I know, he is the first man and that would make him popular and the fact that he is a guitarist in a band, but think with me, would you like to be in the presence of someone or have relationships with someone who only knows how to curse all the time and talk about himself and how many girls he had sex with over the weekend?

Well, at least I think that everything he says is just stuff to inflate his ego and feel good about himself.

• He likes 80s rock bands

This is just in my head, I feel like Adam would like 80s rock bands like Metallica or Guns N' Roses, maybe even Slipknot, bands in general that have the same type of music that he plays, I also think he enjoys guitar solos like Slash or the solo from the song "Master of puppets".

I also think that his band's style follows the same style as these bands, I don't know, like I said it's just my headcanon.

•Adam has a fear or trauma of apples

This is supposed to be a little funny

This headcanon came to mind when a friend of mine who also knows Hazbin hotel made the joke that Adam is afraid or traumatized by apples because of the whole forbidden fruit of Eden thing and betrayal by Eve.

Imagine, Lute simply eating an apple near him and he freaks out, ripping the apple out of her hands and throwing it away.

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I honestly feel like Adam deserved a chance to change, a chance at redemption, a chance to really be loved and really love, no sex, no divine obligation, just real love.

Well guys that's what I have for now, I'll try to remember more headcanons for a next post, maybe even some +18, but for now that's all I have in my mind.

Thank you so much for reading, kisses in your heart 💗🤘🏻

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