#and it's kind of a miracle that it's lasted this long in all honesty

[maggiedanikka]

Superstar (Part 1)

Pairing: Rooster x f!reader, (blink and you'll miss it, unrequited) Hangman x f!reader

Warnings: ANGST, good ending promise

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 19.7k (holy sh*t)

Summary:  “I’m no one special, just another wide eyed girl, who's desperately in love with you.”

OR 

Rooster is sure he's in love with this girl. Only problem is, he's never seen or face or know her name

No use of y/n

Based of off Superstar (Taylor's version) by Taylor Swift

Author's Note: It's me, Hi. This one shot is so freaking late y'all. In all honesty I started writing this August around the time I finished writing Naked, but life and school happened and now here we are. It felt amazing getting to stretch my writing skills again for anything other than research papers, and I'm on winter break so it seems as good a time as any. I'm not going to give anymore excuses, but I promise this is worth a read. This is the longest single piece of work I have ever written. It ended at 65 pages and almost 20k words in my drafts. Its so long that Tumblr won't let post the entire one shot in one post so im splitting it in two, but dw send part will be posted immediately after this is posted. I also didn't have anyone edit this, so I apologize for any grammatical errors (most likely tense consistency bcs i suck at those) I hope you all enjoy reading it as I did writing it and I hope it tide y'all over until I can write the next chapter of Let Me Go. Here is Superstar.

Bradley Bradshaw’s voice was an enigma to you. How could anyone's voice be so hoarse and yet so strong?

As an air traffic controller for the Navy, you’ve heard every type of voice imaginable. The gruff demanding ones from the Air Boss, the shrill screams of pilots having to eject due to a bird strike, the quiet dulcet tones of a shy WSO, and everything in between. 

The first time you heard his voice through the comms, you weren’t exactly starstruck per se, just a bit thrown off.

“This is Dagger 2, asking for clearance for take off.” 

It’s not like you didn’t know who the pilots flying this mission were. Everyone in the goddamn Navy knew who they were, they were the best of the best. 

You even saw their pictures. And thought some of them were cute (especially the one rocking the Miami Vice Stache). But hearing their voices was different from reading their files.

Though most of the details of the mission were classified, you had a basic idea and knew that there was a good chance that someone wasn’t coming home. 

“This is Dagger 2, asking for clearance for take off”

The voice repeated. You snapped out of your thoughts, the voice was smooth as honey and it had just a hint of fear but yet so heavily determined. Your heart really went out to the poor pilot. 

“Dagger 2, you’re clear for take off.” You said, trying to convey as much sympathy as you could in those words. 

The actual mission itself didn’t last longer than 3 minutes. Working for the navy, you should’ve been used to the high stakes situations that often go hand in hand with these kinds of assignments. But you couldn’t help but sit on the edge of your seat during the duration of the mission.

There were a few initial hiccups, you felt like you were watching a movie as you listened to the daggers communicate with one another. Their nervousness (and to be honest your own) upon seeing the SAMs and your both concern and irritation at Lieutenant Bradshaw’s cautiousness. 

Yes, his by the book and precise flying is part of the reason why he was considered one of the best, but if he didn’t throw that shit out of the window and speed up he will end up getting himself killed. And even though you didn’t necessarily know him, this possibility filled your body with so much dread.

You felt relieved (well only slightly, they hadn’t made it out of the woods just yet) when Rooster finally got out of his own head and sped up. The two miracles were successfully pulled off and the 4 jets had made it past Coffin Corner. Now it was a dogfight all the way home.

You commended just how level headed and pragmatic the pilots were as they evaded the SAMs and attacks that were thrusted upon them. You knew if you were in the same situation you would’ve panicked and blown up by now. Your admiration was interrupted by the mayday call of Captain Mitchell.

A heavy tension set in the control room, everyone was shocked at what just transpired. It was interrupted by the voices of the other daggers. Notably Lieutenant Bradshaw and Lieutenant Trace. 

Phoenix had announced that she and Lieutenant Floyd were heading back to home base, along with Payback and Fanboy. However, you were yet to hear confirmation from Rooster, with the last thing he said went along the lines of going after Maverick. 

You held your breath as you heard Admiral Simpson demanded his return. The control room was met with silence, and you knew exactly what he was going to do. 

It was less than 5 minutes when it was confirmed that Lieutenant Bradshaw’s plane had been shot down after attacking an enemy plane. His beacon went dark. 

Lieutenant Seresin requested clearance for take off but was rebuffed by the Air Boss. You had to take everything in you to not shed a tear.

A thick silence fell over the entire ship. The mission was technically a success but you wouldn’t be able to tell based on the solemn look on everyone’s faces. 

Even after the remaining daggers returned on the ship, no one wanted to leave the control room. The entire ship was at a standstill. 

That was until a beacon marked “Rooster” started beeping on the screen. 

No it couldn’t be.

“Sir, Rooster has gone supersonic.” You told Admiral Simpson with a gulp, trying to contain your hope. 

“An F-14 tomcat has been spotted sir.” Another ATC announced. 

“Maverick.” You heard someone say, not sure who but you did not care at that point. What’s important is that they were alive!

But it was not time to celebrate just yet. Two bogies were spotted alongside the F-14 Tomcat. And everyone knew this meant a dogfight was about to commence. 

The situation looked more and more grim. An ancient F-14 against Fifth Gens? It was unlikely for the two pilots to make it out unscathed yet alone alive.

But by some grace of God (or possibly Maverick’s unbeatable skill, probably both) they managed to take down two bogies. 

Rooster managed to turn on the plane’s radio to contact the ship. You felt relief which was instantly thwarted by the news that there was still one Fifth Gen, directly in front of the plane. 

You knew they needed help. You looked at Admiral Simpson desperately, hoping that he would allow the Reserve Dagger to go assist. But Cyclone seemed frozen and you knew you had to take matters into your own hands.

“Dagger Reserve, are you ready for liftoff?” You spoke into the mic, the other people in the control room looked at you in shock.

“Finally!” The elated voice of Hangman came through the comms.

Admiral Simpson shot you a hard glare, if only looks could kill, you’d probably be as screwed as Maverick and Rooster. But you knew you had to do something. 

“Yes this is Dagger Reserve asking clearance for takeoff.” 

“Dagger Reserve, you are clear for takeoff. Bring our boys home.” You said with a small smile, if you get fired and discharged, possibly thrown into the ocean it’ll be worth it knowing what you did to save the aviators.

Hangman shot down the Fifth Gen with ease, earning him his second confirmed air combat kill. You knew that the other pilots would never hear the end of it. But all you cared about is he saved HIM.

Rooster’s laugh and banter with Hangman might’ve been the most wonderful sound you’ve ever heard. 

Seeing him on the tarmac reunited with the rest of his team had to be one of the highlights of your career with the Navy, if this was the last moment you had in the branch then you were perfectly content. 

“What you did was reckless insubordination! If there was another fifth Gen out there, we would’ve lost 3 of our best pilots and 2 planes worth millions of dollars!” Admiral Simpson had chastised you. 

“I have half a mind to dishonorably discharge you!” You 're ready to accept your punishment with grace. You were however surprised at his next words 

“But your actions saved 2 of our men.” He added with a gulp.

“You are clear from punishment, but DO NOT make this a habit!”

“Yes sir.” You told him with a steady voice.

“Thank you sir.”

“You are dismissed, go join the rest of the fleet.” He told you.

You ran down to celebrate the returning pilots, but so was everyone else. You could only see a glimpse of Captain Mitchell and Lieutenant Bradshaw past the dozens of bodies approaching to greet them. 

But even from where you were standing you could see the beaming smile and bright eyes of the mustached pilot. And from that exact moment you knew you were a goner. 

———————————————————————-

Next time you heard his voice was a few weeks post mission. Apparently he accepted a post to teach at Top Gun. 

You were decently shocked to learn that the team assembled for the mission decided to stay in Miramar. Especially since they basically got their pick of post anywhere in the world. 

But you figured Lieutenant Bradshaw, or rather Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw (remembering his promotion), decided to stay because of his recent reconciliation with Captain Mitchell. 

“This is Rooster asking for clearance for takeoff.” He said through the comms.

“You’re still here?” Shit. You did not mean to say that out loud. 

You heard back a chuckle from the pilot.

“Yes, I decided to stick around Fightertown for a little while.”

“Sorry sir.” You replied grateful that he couldn’t see the blush that was forming on your cheeks. 

“You are clear for takeoff.”

“Thanks sweetheart. Roger that.” You felt your cheeks grow hotter as he took off into the air. 

“ATC you still there?” He asked you once he was at cruising altitude. 

“Yes Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw, I am still here.” Hoping that he forgot your earlier words and needed something official. 

“Any reason why you were shocked at my staying?” He asked you.

You gulped at his question. Was this allowed? You’ve never had a pilot ask you a question before that didn’t pertain to instructions, both on the ground and in the air. 

After a breath you answered his question.

“I heard about your promotion, and the offer to be posted anywhere in the world. Just surprised you chose to stay here.”

“Sometimes a family is worth more than any accolade or prestigious post.” He told you. You could tell he really cared about Maverick, but was not sure about the history of that. 

Would asking him be crossing a line?

“Why do you stay in fightertown?” He asks you.

“Not for anything as noble as your reason Lieutenant Commander, just an assigned post.” 

“Well I hope you’re liking Miramar. Actually grew up here.” You were surprised that he was still speaking to you, considering he was in the sky for a reason, and normally pilots didn’t maintain this much conversation with Air Traffic Control.

“I really like it so far, having some trouble with making friends though.” You don’t know why you admitted this to him, especially through comms that other people are definitely listening in to. And especially to a Naval hero who definitely would have no interest in the life of a lowly ATC. 

“Well, consider me your first friend sweetheart.” He responded and he actually sounded genuine. You couldn’t help but smile at the aviator's words.

You were about to respond when you were interrupted by Hangman through the comms. 

“Usually I would encourage this, but you can flirt later, Rooster, we gotta shoot down Mav.”

Your little bubble had been burst as you remembered why you had to clear him for takeoff earlier.

“That’s my cue, talk to you later, friend.”

“Have a good exercise Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw.” You respond with a smile you know he’d never see. 

Your shift ended before they finished their exercise, so you didn’t get to give Rooster clearance to land (or maybe you just hoped to speak to him again). But from what you heard, it was the closest the team got to finally shooting down the infamous Captain. 

You knew that one day they could surpass the pilot, but you were glad that they were able to learn and grow (and stay) a little longer at Top Gun.

In an effort to make more friends you agreed to go out with some of your fellow ATCs that night. Which is how you ended up in a bar on the beach called ‘the Hard Deck’.

Your co-workers were nice enough, and you were honestly glad that you weren’t spending another night with a plate of pad Thai watching yet another crappy Netflix rom-com. 

Imagine your surprise when Rooster and his crew of pilots walked into the very same bar. They went straight to the pool tables and were currently arguing over who got to play first. 

“God definitely has favorites, because they are so fine.” Your co-worker Laura sighs. 

“I wanna climb Seresin like a tree.” She adds.

“I’m more of a Coyote and Payback kind of gal.” Your other co-worker Sara remarked. 

“But I wouldn’t kick Fanboy or Bob out of bed, they look like they know some tricks.” 

She said as she took another drink of her martini. You agreed with their judgements but couldn’t help but only have eyes for one of the pilots.

“Good choice.” Your other co-worker Lia tells you after following your gaze. 

“Bradshaw definitely takes the cake.” 

You blush upon being caught staring at Rooster. 

All your co-workers nodded in agreement with Lia. 

“He’s not as pretty as Hangman but he’s somehow more fuckable.” Laura comments. 

You couldn’t help but feel possessive as the other women also stared at Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw with hungry eyes. 

But it’s not like you had any right to that feeling, he wasn’t yours, he didn’t even know who you were. 

The conversation moved on to other topics, it could’ve been anything from the weather or the latest Naval gossip but you were only half paying attention. You were honestly just glad that they were done ogling a certain pilot. 

You really liked the Hard Deck. It was now clear that it was a Navy spot and it was really cool to see the usually serious people from work loosened up in civilian clothes. 

The night was bustling and while you were glad for some company, you couldn’t help but feel a little awkward. All these women knew each other and had all these little jokes with one another, and you were an outsider that had a bit of a neurotic streak.

You were wondering if this was a pity invite, and you were slowly leaning to a yes but you were already here, might as well make the best of it.

You prepared yourself to jump back into the conversation, when the music from the jukebox had abruptly stopped. And while the men booed, you saw that the women all stopped and stared at the piano. Or rather the person at the piano. 

Lo and behold, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw was seated at the decades old instrument, his fingers expertly playing an old Elton John hit. Of course he would have an affinity for the 80s, as shown by his mustache.

If you thought his speaking voice was beautiful, his singing voice was downright heavenly. He had this low tenor that was so strong and made “I’m still standing” sound sensual. How is that even possible?

Obviously you weren’t the only person that thought so, you saw women dancing in front of him, singing along and obviously trying to get his attention. 

For the other women (and some men) that weren’t, were singing along and staring, were all bewitched at the pilot’s skill. And really, who could blame them?

He had this air of confidence that even the cockiest of pilots could never compete with, he was a superstar. In the air and the ground. 

When he (sadly) finished his song, the entire bar cheered and chanted his name. He did a silly dance and seemed to have no care in the world.

You couldn’t help but fall for him a little more. 

——-——————————————————————

“This is Rooster, in the air calling for Air Traffic Control.”

You just started your shift less than 2 minutes ago and did not know that Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw was already in the air.

“This is Air Traffic Control, what do you need, Lieutenant Commander?” You ansered, trying to keep your voice calm, hoping your little crush on the aviator wouldn’t show in your voice. 

“It’s you!” Rooster exclaimed.

“I’m not sure what you mean sir?”

“You’re the ATC from the other day? The one that agreed to be my friend.”

A blush crept onto your face, you were surprised he remembered your interaction. 

“Um yes sir.” 

“You got off the comm lines so quickly the other day. I didn’t get to invite you to hang out with me and meet some other new friends at the Hard Deck.” 

Your heart grew warm. He was serious? He wasn’t just trying to be polite?

“I was at the Hard Deck sir. Saw you there with your squadron.”

“Oh shit, really? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Seemed rude to just insert myself, sir.”

“Plus you seemed preoccupied with your adoring fans.” You said with a giggle. 

“It was an amazing performance.”

“Oh yeah? Are you a fan?” You heard him ask, already seeing his smirk in your mind. 

“Oh yeah definitely! Consider me the president of the fan club sir.” You quipped. 

“So what does the role of “president” entail?” 

“You know, make t-shirts, teach the Rooster 101 class, and of course host the weekly meeting where we talk about how hot and talented Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw is.”

“So you think I’m hot?”

Your face grew warm in response, and cursed yourself for accidentally flirting nonsensically. And prayed to whatever higher power that no one was currently listening to the comm line. 

“Oh um-.” You began to respond.

“No! Sir-…um I just…”

“You know it’s frowned upon to lie to your superiors.” He said in a serious tone.

“Oh no I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t mean to-“

“ATC….”He interrupts, with an inflection at the end of the last letter 

“Yes I think you’re hot Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw” You confessed with a gulp.

He let out a hearty chuckle.

You were completely mortified and you don’t think your face has ever been this hot before. If you thought you didn’t have a chance before, more so now. You were debating whether you should disconnect now and go back to your job (I mean this is technically your job, but not the flirting part). 

You were broken out of your inner debate by Rooster

“Thanks sweetheart.”

“You know you don’t have to keep calling me Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw right?”

“You can call me Rooster.”

You were thankful for the subject change. 

“Okay Lieutenant Comma-“

“Sorry, okay….Rooster.”

“Now that’s better.” He said with a slight laugh, you could already see his dazzling smile now.

“How about you ATC? What should I call you?”

“Oh you can call me-“ you began to say.

“This is Lieutenant Finch asking for clearance for takeoff.” You were cut off by the comm.

You sighed, back to real life. 

“I’m sorry Rooster, I got to go back to duty.”

You cut off the comm lines before he could respond.

————————————————————————

Next time you saw him, he was walking down a hallway with Lieutenant Commander Trace by his side. He was talking so animatedly, his hands waving around as he delivered his point.

It sounded like he was gushing about a tail spin maneuver that Maverick pulled off, and god he’s so beautiful. When he speaks it’s like you couldn’t help but listen. Hell! you bet a reading of the F-18 NATOPS would sound like absolute sin coming from his mouth. 

You were so caught up in his voice that you didn’t notice how close you were to passing him.

You felt your breath get caught in your throat as your shoulders brushed against his as you walked in the opposite direction. Even through your thick khakis, you can feel how muscular his shoulders were. Damn this man works out.

“Oops sorry ma’am” he stopped and turned to you. His eyes were concerned that he hurt you from a measly bump. This man could not be real.

“I didn't mean to bump you. And as put together as I seem to be, I am actually a huge klutz and a hazard to pretty girls.” He said with a chuckle and a wink.

You tried to respond to him, but only a squeak managed to leave your mouth. Starstruck that he’s speaking to you for the first time, not through a comm line. 

Wait and he called you pretty! You were now fighting a blush creeping on your cheeks. But to the two aviators it looked like you were not amused 

“Stop bothering her Rooster, she obviously has places to be.” Phoenix chastises him.

“I apologize for my bothersome friend.” She turned to say to you. And all your pathetic shy ass can do is nod.

“See you around! And sorry again!” Rooster says once more as Lieutenant Trace pulls him away and down the hallway. 

———————————-—————————————

Okay, you were not doing this on purpose, well sorta. Sometimes in the midst of your constant daydreaming, your subconscious kinda just takes the reins and dictates your actions. 

Which is how you found yourself coincidentally choosing a work schedule that lined up the most perfectly with Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw’s flying times.

You hoped for another conversation with Rooster, hoping to redeem yourself from your words (or rather lack thereof) during the hallway debacle.

 But the Lieutenant Commander seemed very focused on the exercise that they’ve been working on for the past week and has not been speaking to you as much as of late.

You were of course sad, and you felt a pit in your stomach grow larger and larger each passing day that your conversations started and ended with “you’re cleared for takeoff”.

You almost wish that your stupid infatuation would go away so that you didn’t feel yourself crushed at the end of every single work day. 

But you would catch a glimpse of his smile on the tarmac and your heart would fill with so much longing once again. 

It had been almost a week since your last true interaction with the aviator, you were beyond pathetic at this point. 

At last, he finally called in after he was in the sky. 

“Is the president of my fan club there?” He called into the comms. 

Was he talking about you? I mean who else would he be talking about considering the topic of your conversation last time. 

Unless he talks to all the ATCs like this, flirting with them until they become flustered and red as a tomato. He’s probably done this with Sara, or Laura or even both! The thought filled your stomach with dread. Should you stay silent and pretend you didn’t hear him? Or maybe he actually needs something, it would be unprofessional of you to not help your superior or maybe-

“I know you’re there, I can hear you thinking”  

Rooster has a habit of breaking you out of your anxiety induced thoughts.

“Are you calling for me Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw?”

You heard him clear his throat, expectant.

“Oh I’m sorry, Rooster.” You corrected yourself.

“That’s better” He said with a chuckle. 

“Sorry I’ve been radio silent the past week sweetheart, have had a lot on my mind.” 

“You don’t have to apologize to me! You’re one of the greatest pilots in the world, no need to worry about me.” You assured him, and maybe you were a bit self-deprecating but it was true. 

“No need for all of that ATC, I’m just a guy in a plane. And were friends, remember?  It’s not fair of me to leave you in the dark.” 

Damn. AND he's humble? How can this man be anymore perfect?

“ Thank you Rooster.” You replied with a small smile.

“Sorry again for going ghost, this is a bit of a hard week for me” He continued.

In any normal circumstance, asking for elaboration would seem like prying, but your conversations with the Lieutenant commander have been less than normal as of late. You still had no clue where you got the courage to ask.

“Oh, why is that?”

“Wanna know all my secrets already sweetheart?” 

He somehow managed to avoid the question AND make you flustered. He’s good.

“How about I let you know my stories over dinner?”

You just felt your heart jump out of your chest and into another dimension. There’s no way THE Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw was asking you out. 

This had to be some kind of game, one that he’s no doubt played a million times before. Rooster had no shortage of women who wanted him and the fact that he’s asking you out of all people was unbelievable. There was no way. 

“Um like a date?” You ask him nervously.

He chuckles at your response, amused at your edginess. But to you it sounded like the thunderclap before the lightning strike of rejection. 

You just wished he’d get on with it. Hoping he lets you down easy so you can move on from this crush and actually do your job.

“What else would I mean?” He finally responded.

Your entire body felt like a cracked glow stick. You felt bright and overheated, but also cold as ice as you’ve somehow lost feeling in your extremities.

So he was asking you out! You were determined to apologize for every time you’ve said God’s name in vain because if Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw was asking you on a date, then there is no doubt that the higher power was real. 

But the reality of the situation had set in. If he was this quick to ask you out despite not knowing your name, or what you look like. What’s stopping him from changing his mind and moving on to the next ATC or bartender or crossing guard who gave him admiring attention just as quickly?

You came to a swift realization.

It was against your nature and your better judgment, as your heart was beating out the seams to say yes to Rooster’s invitation. But you had to be smart about this.

You had to play the game.

“I’m gonna have to say no sir.”  

You can feel the regret setting in already.

“Wow, I think that’s the first no I’ve gotten in…. That might be the first no I’ve ever gotten.”

Great, now you’ve bruised his ego, you had no idea if this tactic was working for or against you.

“Well, I think dinner might be a little further down the line, that’s if you think you can handle it?” You somehow gathered enough courage to (fake) confidently challenge Rooster.

“Oh is that so?” You can hear the intrigue in his voice through the line. 

“How about a phone number?” He offers amused

“Hmm… maybe THAT  I can agree with.” You responded matching his playful tone.

“In one condition.” 

“Oh yeah? And what is that sweetheart?” 

“Shoot down Maverick in the drill today.”

“Is that it? I can do that, easy.” There was the cockiness the top gun pilots were famous for.

“That’s funny, considering you haven’t been able to do it in the past 3 weeks.” You jested.

“Ouch, first you reject my invitation, and now you insult my skill? Way to kick a man while he’s already down sweetheart.” He grimaced playfully.

“Gotta give you some kind of challenge sir.” You couldn't hold back the giggle forming in your throat. 

“Okay deal, anything to hear that laugh again, outside of these comm lines.” He chuckled.

Oh shit. You completely forgot that you are flirting with Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw though a military operated and very public comm line.

“I was wondering when the two of were going to remember the rest of us can hear EVERYTHING.” You heard the voice of Lieutenant Commander Seresin chortle.

You felt your ears burn red in embarrassment. 

“Getting rejected over comms Bradley? And here I thought you had game.” Captain Mitchell added. Both of them were laughing at their fellow aviator. 

“See what I mean sweetheart? I promise I’m a much better conversationalist when these assholes aren’t around.” Bradley insulted the other two pilots. 

“Don’t listen to him ATC, I’ve known him since he was still in diapers , and I promise you, this is as good as he’s gonna get.” Captain Mitchell remarked to you. 

“Don’t think I’m gonna go easy on him for you either.” He added jokingly. 

“Trust me Captain Mitchell, I’m counting on it.” You replied with equal fervor. Maverick responded with a playful tone.

“Sounds good ma’am, hope I don’t disappoint .”

“I’m going to get into position, You two can join me once Bradley is done with his disastrous flirting.” He added before going radio silent, lifting his jet to prepare for the dogfight. 

“Hypothetically, if I shoot down Mav, do I get your number?” Hangman teased. 

“Walk the walk first, and maybe I’ll consider it.” You quipped, but you knew that the only aviator you’d want to give your number to was Rooster. 

“Good enough for me.” Hangman replied. 

“Watch me beat you Rooster, in the drill and with the girl.” Hangman chuckled playfully before going radio silent, presumably getting into position.

“Double timing me with Hangman sweetheart? Now thats a killing blow.” Rooster smiled, slightly annoyed at your flirtatious exchange with Seresin but happy that it was just the two of you once again. 

“You know how bumptious Lieutenant Commander Seresin can be. I just said it to get rid of him.” You explained. 

“Now for you, I am completely serious. Shoot down Mav and you got yourself a phone number.”

“Yours right?” He asked.

You let out a hearty laugh, one that had caused the other ATC’s currently in the control tower to look at you with concerned expressions. 

“Yes. Mine.”

“You never know, you could very well give me Admiral Bates’ number. I just wanted to make sure.” He replied.

“Plus its always a bonus to hear you laugh.”

This man never seemed to run out of lines. You had to hold yourself back from melting into a puddle in your seat.

“Well lets see what you got then Lieutenant Commander.” Was the last thing you said as he finally went back up to position. 

As much as you wanted to stay tuned into the dogfight like you were a suburban dad cheering on their favorite football team, you did actually have a job to do. 

You were in the middle of analyzing flight patterns and putting together a presentation for your co-workers when you heard the sudden call on your headset.

“Hello, this is air traffic control.”

You were greeted with a loud thunderous cheer. 

“I did it ATC! I shot down Mav.” Rooster howled.

“Is this true Lieutenant Commander Seresin?” You asked Hangman.

“As much as I tried to sabotage him, yes Rooster did somehow managed to shoot down the old-timer.” Hangman confirmed with a groan.

Shit. Now you have to actually give your number to Rooster.

“Soooo ATC, I’m waiting for the magic numbers.” You could already see the victory smirk on his face. 

“Ughhh fine a deal is a deal. But I am not going to give out my private phone number on a monitored line. I’m just gonna have to get it to you another way.”

“Okay fair enough. How are you gonna do that?” Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw queried. 

“Don’t worry about it, just know you’ll get it.”

“Or you know you can just give it to me face to fa-.”

“Goodbye Rooster.” You interrupted and dropped the line before he could continue. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You honestly did not know how you were going to get your number to Rooster. You wouldn’t dare to see him face to face. He’ll take one look at you and know that you were nothing special and he’d lose interest. The only reason he was this enthralled was because you were a mystery to him. 

You could always go back on your deal and tell him you were kidding about the number, but you knew that was an asshole move and you were not the type to break agreements. You had to figure out how to get that number to him without him seeing you. 

At least then you can speak to him and possibly flirt with him for a little longer before he inevitably loses interest..

You were sat in the comm tower, your head resting on the back of your hand, watching Rooster joke around with Mav and Hangman down in the tarmac beside their F-18s. Even from all the way up here you can see how bright his smile was. He was so beautiful. 

You were snapped out of your admiration by the three aviators walking off the tarmac, probably to rest and sit with the other pilots in the hangar. You saw your window of opportunity, in the form of (no pun intended) Rooster’s open canopy on his jet. 

If you could sneak down there and place a piece of paper with your number on his dash then you would have fulfilled your side of the deal. 

If anyone were to ask, you were not a stalker, you were just very observant, especially if you’ve been watching these pilots for the better part of the last few weeks and knew that they were going to spend at least the next 15 minutes in the hangar until they returned to the tarmac. You had to make your move NOW.

You scribbled your number onto a piece of discarded paper.

“I’m taking a 10!” You announced to the control room before running out clutching the note to your chest. 

You quickly ran down from the tower and quickly onto the tarmac, making sure to duck and turn your head away as you passed the hangar (just in case). 

You couldn’t remember the last time you ran this fast, probably not since basic training. You quickly manuevered around all the F-18s until you reached the one marked with the label LCDR Bradley Bradshaw “Rooster”. You’ve never seen his jet this up close, you wanted desperately to run your hand through the marking of his name, to touch something that he has. 

No. You have to remember you’re here on a time-constrained mission, and you had to get out of here not only  before the pilots come out, but also before anyone in the comm tower can spot you down here. 

You quickly flung yourself up the ladder up to cockpit of the jet and trying to place the piece of paper as rapidly and as gently as you could on the dash. When you finally let go of the paper and saw that it was securely in place, you hopped off the tiny ass ladder and started to speed walk back to the direction of the comm tower. 

Your heart was beating a million times per minute and you did it without anyone seeing you. You could see the door to the tower in the distance, and were beelining towards it. That’s until you heard a clear 

“HEY!” Coming from behind you. 

You turned around and were greeted by the suspect face of Lieutenant Commander Seresin. He was standing probably a good 25 feet away and slowly walking towards you.

“Who are you? What are doing down here?” 

You had to think of an excuse fast, with as little words spoken as possible. You couldn’t risk him recognizing your voice and telling Rooster. Then all of this would be over too soon. 

“Just routine inspection!” You tell him, making your voice higher and hopefully indiscernible from your normal speaking voice. 

“Goodbye!” You waved at him before sprinting away and around the tower so he couldn’t see that you were going into the comm room. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As much as you'd like to think that you successfully made it down and back from the tarmac completely undetected, you knew that running into Hangman could’ve ended disastrously. You needed to learn to be more careful especially now that your number could possibly already be in Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw’s possession. Which means you have to commit to this game. 

You put your number in his plane almost 11 hours ago and even though the work day has long ended, and you knew that the pilots leave together at around 5pm and would inevitably end up at the Hard Deck for a few hours. 

However it is now nearing 11pm and you still had no notification from anyone other than your mom. No texts, no calls, just email alerts and a few instagram DMs from some old high school friends. 

You sighed as you stared at the clock. Maybe he didn’t see the paper? Or he’s still at the Hard Deck?

You knew neither was unlikely because the dagger squad flew out and ran a few more drills later in the day so was in his jet and all the Navy men (or rather the disciplined ones) promptly left the bar at 10pm to prepare for their early work days. 

He could’ve and should’ve contacted you by now.

But what did you really expect? That he was going to drop everything and call a random ATC that he had a few indecorous conversations with. 

You definitely let this fake confidence build up too much in your head. You had to remember your place. Because who are you other than just a girl, when he was one of the superstar’s of the Navy? The frontliner and the apple of all the admirals’ eyes. 

You see the clock flashing 11:15pm and you had a shift early in the morning. There was no use continuing to feel sorry for yourself. Some sleep would do you some good, and hopefully avoid the waterworks that would inevitably come.

You were well on your way to slipping into a deep slumber when you heard the loud text tone originating from your phone. 

Unknown Number: Sorry I didn’t get to talk to you today sweetheart. I hope I get the chance soon. Sweet dreams :) 

——————-————————————————————————

There must have been some sickness barreling through the base because the normally filled comm room was empty except for you manning the main desk. 

Being solo wasn’t too bad, as there weren’t too many pilots scheduled to fly today.

Of course one of them being Rooster. 

“Miramar Tower, F/A-18E Super Hornet , 10 southwest at 2,500, inbound for landing “ 

Speak of the devil, and he shall come

“F/A-18E Super Hornet , Miramar Tower, report entering left downwind Runway 24R.” You responded, keeping yourself professional despite feeling the butterflies in your stomach beating your ass upon hearing his voice.

“Report entering left downwind, F/A-18E Super Hornet . . . . “ He responded before adding

“F/A-18E Super Hornet entering left downwind Runway 24R.”

He was all business today, with absolutely no hint of the usual playfulness in his voice. 

“Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw, you are cleared to land Runway 24R.”

He let out a slight growl, one you would miss if you weren’t listening so intently.

He hesitated for a moment before finally responding. 

“Cleared to land Runway 24R, F/A-18E Super Hornet “ 

You saw his jet successfully land and reached for the button to disconnect when you heard Rooster’s voice flood your headphones once again.

“Do you remember what I said about calling me ‘Lieutenant Commander’ sweetheart?” He asks steely.

Fuck, he sounds so sexy when he’s stern. No man’s voice has ever had this effect on you. 

“Yes sir, Rooster.” You said with a longing breath.

You curse yourself for being incapable of being subtle.

“Normally I would say no ‘sir’ just ‘Rooster’, but I’ll allow it. Only because it sounds so good coming from your mouth.”

Holy shit. And you thought you weren’t subtle, you were usually clueless when it came to men flirting but even you could read that loud and clear. 

“You sure you want to be hitting on me over comms SIR?” you said purring 

“Would you rather me come up there sweetheart? So I can do it face-to-face” He said with the same gruffness. You can see him glancing up to the tower as he lifted his canopy and exited his plane.

“I dare you Lieutenant Commander.” You replied matching his salacious tone. 

“Gonna have to teach you a lesson don’t I?.” The connection cuts off as he removes his helmet and rushes up to the tower. 

You couldn’t hear anything over the sound of your pounding heartbeat, there is no way you just invited Rooster up to the comm room. 

It couldn’t have been more than 2 minutes when you heard the door burst open and saw Rooster enter, his skin still glistening from sweating under the California sun. 

He looked like a Greek god, and you had to stop your jaw from physically dropping at the sight of him. 

“Finally done hiding from me sweetheart?” He greeted you teasingly. 

You slowly approached one another. You opened your mouth to respond with a flirty response but the words seemed to be stuck in your throat. 

You didn’t even notice how close you were to him. You could feel the heat radiating off his body. You were staring straight ahead and avoiding his gaze. Choosing to maintain eye contact with the lowered zipper of his flight suit. Giving you a glimpse of the hard planes of his chest underneath. 

Your breath hitched as you felt him grab you by the waist and pull you bodies together. His hands felt so hot on your body and you still couldn’t bring yourself to look up into his gaze.

That is until he placed a hand on your chin and gently pulled it up to look into your eyes. 

“Don’t tell me you’re all shy now sweetheart?” He said with a smirk and he tugged your bodies closer. 

“Where’s all that talk from earlier?” He whispered as he kissed the skin beneath your ear, before moving his lips to your jaw and leaving soft caressing kisses trailing down your jaw, down to where your neck meets your collarbone

Okay, you have definitely lost the ability to breathe, let alone to speak several moments ago. If he wasn’t currently holding you so tightly your legs would’ve given out from under you.

All you could feel was him and all your mind can think of is Rooster. Rooster. Rooster. 

He finally brought his head back up and stared at your lips. He licked his before he finally closed the distance between you and-

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

You woke up in your bed in a cold sweat. 

Holy shit, it was just a dream. It felt so real. 

You could’ve sworn you could still feel his hand gripping on your waist and his hot breath on your ear. 

You glanced at your alarm clock to see that you overslept by 30 minutes! 

You quickly got up and got ready, you swear to God you had never gotten ready faster in your life. But you still managed to be 15 minutes late. 

Your supervisor was not happy. But you were normally punctual so they allowed you this one oversight. As long as you swore to never repeat it again. 

You finally caught your breath and settled in your station. You were relieved that you didn’t miss too much. 

But since you were late Rooster was assigned to a different ATC on his flight plan for the day. 

This did make you sad but in a way maybe it was necessary for today. 

First because you could not possibly hold a conversation with him after the erotic dream that you still hadn't physically recovered from, and second because you were actually becoming pathetic.

You had set 4 simple rules for yourself when you joined the Navy

Stay Focused

Always be punctual

Sleep early to be well rested, and most importantly

Do not get involved with Navy men. 

You somehow managed to break all rules in the last few weeks. 

You had a wet dream that caused you to break your perfect punctuality streak. A dream that was about a certain pilot that caused you to stay up late and has spent the better part of a month distracting you.

For the lack of better phrasing, you really needed to get your shit together.

But when you stepped into the mess hall after a fairly productive half of a day, and saw his face, you remembered just why you were so enamored. 

A smile from him was worth breaking the rules you set for yourself. 

——————————————————————————————-

You were probably home for less than 10 minutes when you heard the text notification coming from the living room.

You wiped your hands on a dish rag and walked out of the kitchen to grab your phone, which you almost dropped upon seeing who the text came from. 

The text last night was completely unexpected and was definitely part of the reason why Rooster somehow made it into your dream. And even though you were half asleep at the time, you managed to save his number under “Rooster ✈️🐔”. 

Which is how you knew you were staring at a text from said aviator. 

Rooster ✈️🐔: Missed you today :(

You have been carefully analyzing the text for the last 30 seconds you laid eyes on it. He missed you??? What does that mean? He had your number for the better part of two days and he only managed to contact you when you were almost asleep, and after a day of ignoring him. 

Asking him what he meant would be too obvious and would make you come out as naïve. So you did what any rational woman with a crush would do. Deflect.

You: Do you have a problem with emojis or something?

Rooster ✈️🐔: Huh? What do you mean? 

You: I can’t remember the last time I saw someone use emoticons unironically. 

Rooster ✈️🐔: Are you making fun of me? I personally think emoticons are neat

Rooster ✈️🐔: And I don’t know how to download emojis :/

You felt like a schoolgirl as you felt your face break into a grin at his antics. 

You were formulating a reply when you were interrupted by the screen indicating an incoming call from Rooster ✈️🐔.

You stared at your phone in panic and let it continue to ring. Holy shit he was calling you. At least in text you can formulate a plan and have a carefully crafted response. You did not have that luxury with a voice call. 

But what are you going to do? Ignore it? 

You had to make a decision fast. Okay yes, it will be a little more nerve wracking to speak on a voice call but that's better than nothing right? And you spoke to him all the time over comms, even though technically it is different because those conversations can be hidden under the guise of carrying out your job and you did not have that safety net in this situation.

After a few seconds you thought “Fuck it” and pressed the green button. 

“Hi” You answered with a breath. 

“Oh thank god, you actually answered” He responded, teasing relief in his voice.

“What? You thought I wouldn’t?” You asked him as if it was the most outlandish thing in the world (even you were seriously debating it less than a minute ago). 

“Well lets look at the track record, you rejected my dinner invite, doubted my skill as a world class pilot, left me on read last night, and just made fun of my emoticons.”

“The signs were all pointing there.” 

You bursted out in laughter at his rantings.

“Wow! And now you’re laughing at my misery, a man just can’t win with you can they sweetheart?” He feigned hurt. 

“I’m sorry Lieutenant Commander, I didn’t realize it was so easy to hurt your feelings.” You teased him. 

“AND were back to Lieutenant Commander? You do not pull your punches, do you?”

“I’d like to think we’re past all those formalities, outside of work please call me Rooster, or rather yet, call me Bradley.” He asserted. 

“Sometimes I forget your full god given name is Bradley Bradshaw. Brad Brad. I’m making that your name on my phone” You continued to tease with a giggle.

“Did your parents know what they were subjecting you to?” 

“Ha Ha very funny, unfortunately they were the main ones who made the Brad Brad joke.” He admitted dejected. 

This caused you to laugh again.

“Hey this is not fair! I don’t even know your name to make fun of.” You could practically hear the pout in his voice.

“You know I’m gonna find out your name eventually sweetheart, so why don’t you just give it up now?”

“But where’s the fun in that?”

You wanted to finally tell him your name, you did. But that just opens a can of worms that would lead to reality, which you were not yet ready to face.

“I can’t call you ATC forever sweetheart..”

“Well.. what do you want to call me?” 

“Preferably your name?” He suggested.

“You only get one chance to choose so try again.” You warned. 

“And make it good”

“Okay fine I’ll bite.” He finally gave in.

“Lets see, what to call you….”

“Well you laugh a lot, and most of the time at me, so I think I want to use something related to that.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so easy to make fun of.” You quipped.

“Fair enough. Just know I only let you because I actually like the sound of your laugh.”

You felt the blush creep onto your cheeks again.

“Clock is ticking, and you’re wasting your time flirting. What is it gonna be?” You goaded him.

“Okay Okay, but don’t think I won’t continue later.”

“I have no doubt about it” 

“So something pertaining laughing…hmmm. Giggles?” 

“If you call me Giggles, I’m hanging up and blocking you.” You threaten him. 

He responded with his own laugh, and god if you didn’t love his as much as he claimed to like yours.

“Chuckles?”

“I prefered Giggles.” You grimaced

“Merry?” 

“Too Christmas-y”

“Chirpy?”

“That sounds like a name for a bird or something you’d call your grandma. How are you so bad at this?”

“I’m trying!”

“Try to pick something better than all of those please, and do it in the next 30 seconds or I revoke your naming permissions.”

“Fine…Okay! I got it!”

“Cloud!” 

“Cloud?” You asked

“Yes! Like flying on Cloud 9!”

His selection brought a smile to your face. You pretended to think on it.

“It’s acceptable.”

“Yes!” 

“See? I’m not completely useless, and it fits because I’m flying on Cloud 9 whenever I know you’re my ATC.”

His admission caused your breath to catch in your throat. He really did know how to make a girl feel special, even though you knew you had no actual chance with him in the real world.

“I bet you say that to all the ATCs.”

“Well they are responsible for making sure that I don’t crash into other planes on the runway. Gotta keep them happy somehow”

You laugh at his joke, but holding some sadness because even though he was joking, in a way it felt like it held some truth. 

“But seriously, you have no idea how much joy you brought me yesterday. Both with our conversation and seeing that you actually gave me your number. Which is why I was really sad that you weren’t my ATC today.” 

He sounded sincere, but you tried to keep yourself from taking his lines to heart. 

You smiled. 

“Speaking of your number, how the hell did you get that piece of paper into my dash?”

“There was no one else I saw near my jet except my squad and they were with me the entire time. When did you manage to do it?”

“A girl doesn’t reveal her secrets Rooster.” You jested

“Speaking of secrets, pray tell why it took you over twelve hours to use it?” You asked him, you had to know.

“Yeah, sorry about that late text sweetheart… I stayed out at the Hard Deck with Mav a little later than usual. It was my dad’s death anniversary and I honestly spent most of the day sulking and dreading leaving my apartment.”

“Oh.. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” You responded sympathetically, now feeling guilty at asking such an intrusive question. 

“No worries sweetheart, the minute I heard your voice on comms, it brightened my day, even more so when you gave me your number.”

“So thank you for the boost and the motivation to finally kick Mav’s ass in the sky.”

Your heart felt warm hearing that you had that effect on him, you woul’ve believed his words if you didn’t know better.

“You’re welcome Bradley.” You finally called him by his real first name, admittedly it felt right coming from your mouth.

You both sat in comfortable silence when you were interrupted by the smoke alarm in your kitchen. It hit you that your dinner was left on the stove forgetten during your conversation with Bradley.

“Oh shit, I’m pretty sure I just burnt my dinner. I gotta go before I set my entire apartment on fire.”

Bradley chuckled at your unintentional lapse of memory.

“Okay sweetheart I’ll talk to you soon.”

You ended the call. 

You managed to clear out the smoke out of your apartment, but unfortunately did not save your chicken. 

You had to settle for a frozen hot pocket that had been in your freezer for God know how long, but hey it did the job and beggars can’t be choosers. 

You felt the tiredness from the busy workday hit you and you decided it was a good idea to turn in early. You showered and finished your nighttime routine and settled into your bed with your phone on your nightstand.

Your phone flashed once again to signal a text. Apparently, Rooster had the same idea about an early night. 

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: Goodnight Cloud <3 I’ll talk to you tomorrow

You: Goodnight Bradley :)

——————————————————————————————-

You were honestly pleasantly surprised at how consistently you and Bradley communicated. 

It followed the same schedule. During the days, you were usually his ATC so he would of course flirt with you over comms, and you’d try to maintain come decorum of professionalism, but would eventually flirt black. Persistence is key and Bradley is nothing if not persistent. 

When he wasn’t in the air during work hours he would sneakily text you his little random thoughts he had during the day. 

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: Have you ever noticed how small Hangman’s mouth is?

You: What?

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: No seriously look at it. His mouth is always scrunched up even when he smiles.

You: Why are you staring at Hangman’s mouth?

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: We’ve been stuck in this meeting and he keeps chewing that stupid toothpick, its distracting.

You: Didn’t realize you had a thing for Seresin, Brad Brad? 🤔

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: ???????

You: You just said his mouth is distracting

You: Its okay Rooster, just say you wanna kiss him, the tension between you is so thick you can cut it with a knife.

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: I don’t want to kiss Hangman >:( 

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: You wanna know who I do wanna kiss though? 

You: Let me guess…..

You: Bob! 

You: Or better yet, Cyclone 🤪

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: No :(((

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: I wanna kiss you

You: Let’s Play 8 Ball!

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: Ha ha you’re hilarious

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: If I beat you then can I get a kiss?

Read 2:13pm

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: Ouch :(

On weekday nights where he didn’t go to the Hard Deck, you would have your nightly phone call at 7:30pm sharp where you would both stay on the phone while you both cooked dinner. You would catch up on the little things during the day that you didn’t text about and just mostly got to know one another.

You can admit that yes, what initially drew you to Rooster was his beautiful smile and his skill as a pilot. But the more you spoke to him the more you saw not just Lieutenant Commander “Rooster” Bradshaw. But you also saw Bradley.

You quickly saw that he was kind, humble, and so caring of others. 

“Hey Cloud,  I’m sorry for calling you so late.” You noticed his tone was more solemn than usual and checked the time, it was nearing 8pm.

“It’s fine Bradley, you’re not that late.”

“What’s wrong?” You asked him.

“Payback and Fanboy flew into a jetwash today….”

“They had to eject.” He answered dejectedly

“I heard about that. Are they okay?”

 Laura told you about the incident a little earlier, she was the ATC for the flight. The ear-splitting static that hit her headset after the aircraft collided with the ground was enough to shake even the most experienced ATC. So you couldn’t imagine being the pilot and the WSO in that situation. 

“They’re at the hospital overnight for observation. I stuck around to make sure they were okay.” 

It was very strange for you to hear Rooster so despondent. You knew he cared about his friends, and he would do anything for them, but it felt like there was more to the situation. 

“You’re very thoughtful for that Bradley.. I’m sure they appreciated it”

“It was my fault, Cloud.” he confessed. 

You were taken aback at his admittance, but you would’ve heard if there was someone that was directly responsible for the accident, it involved aircraft worth millions of dollars after all. 

“They flew into my jetwash.” 

“Bradley, that wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t have controlled their flight path.” You tried to reassure him.

“But I shouldn’t have been so reckless!” He exclaimed. 

“If I wasn’t so busy trying to outdo Coyote, I wouldn’t have almost hit a bird strike and had to slow down, and they wouldn't have gotten caught in the wash.”

You didn’t want to tell him he was being irrational for blaming himself for a situation that was clearly out of his hands, you knew there was something more there. 

“But they’re fine right? Everyone is okay. No one was seriously hurt.” You explained to him.

“Yeah no one got hurt….THIS time.” 

His statement piqued your interest, you were getting somewhere.

“What do you mean?” 

He sighed, finally letting go of the pretenses. 

“That’s how my dad died.” He confessed.

In a way you knew about LTJG Nick Bradshaw and his untimely death during his Top Gun training, but none of the sordid details. It felt disrespectful to dig into Rooster’s family without him knowing. 

“Oh..” You couldn’t think of what to say. 

“He and Mav flew into a jetwash and when they ejected…my dad hit his head on the canopy. Dead on impact.”

You kicked yourself for thinking he was being irrational. Now all his self blame and his aversion to throwing caution to the wind while flying finally made sense. It also made his relationship with Maverick a lot clearer to you. 

On one hand, you were thrilled that he was confiding in you. But on the other hand you were also heartbroken for Bradley, he lost his dad so young and as much as you wanted to hug him, and let him cry on your shoulder, you couldn’t. 

“Were you close?” You settled on asking him. 

“We were, he’s the reason why I worked so hard to be where I am now.” He reminisced. 

“I’m sure he is very proud of you Bradley. You are not only an incredible pilot, you are also an selfless, caring, and incredible man.” You reminded him. 

“He would give all the credit to my mom.” He lightly chuckled. 

“She raised me alone after my dad died.”

“She never remarried?” You asked

“No, she said that dad was her soulmate. She would never find another man like him.”

You can tell how much love Bradley had for his parents, and the love they shared for one another. 

“It sounds like they were really in love.” You smiled 

“They were. My dad would always serenade my mom. He loved the 50s and the 60s so everytime he saw a piano he would wail out ‘Great Balls of Fire’ while my mom would act embarrassed, but she would eventually sit on his lap and sing along.” 

“That’s beautiful Brad, they really were soulmates.”

“I hope I can find a love like theirs someday.” You sighed dreamily. 

“Who knows? Maybe you already have.” He responds softly.

A comfortable silence settled between you for a few moments. 

“Hey Cloud”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for listening.”

“Anytime Bradley.”

You noticed that it was now getting late and exhaustion was starting to take over your body.

Bradley seemed to notice this as well.

“Do you think I can sing to you Cloud? Like my dad used to with my mom?” 

“I would love that Brad.” 

You slowly fell asleep to the sound of his voice singing ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You’.

And like that, there was no denying, that you’re falling even deeper.

——————————————————————————————-

You don’t know how much longer you can keep this up. It has been months since you and Rooster started talking regularly and you couldn’t help falling in love with him a little more everyday. 

The problem is, you knew that his patience was wearing thin, as he was asking you more and more frequently when he can see you face to face or even know your real name.

You knew you owe him all of that, but how could you tell him? When you know in your heart that once he sees you and knows you. He would know you weren’t worth his time. 

That realization kills you because he means everything to you. You’ve shared your hobbies, your stories, your dreams with him. 

How can you go on living without him in your life once you know the feeling of him being there. 

He has planted himself a permanent spot in your heart, and once he’s gone, there will be a gaping hole left in his wake. 

He was being as kind and as patient with you as he could, but you couldn’t blame his growing anxiety about your identity. 

It also didn’t help that you were constantly under the scrutinous eyes of Lieutenant Commander Seresin. After he caught you on the Tarmac, he seemed very suspicious of you. Like he knew you were up to something but just couldn’t put his finger on it. 

Luckily you’ve been able to fly under the radar around him. Yes he could be a little ignorant and too much of a flirt for his own good but he was smart as a whip and you knew that if anyone could figure out what you were doing it would be him. 

You were currently sat with ATCs in the mess hall, on the other side of the room from where the dagger squad has decided to congregate. You were trying to subtly sneak glances at Bradley. 

He looked particularly handsome today, his sandy hair was slicked back and his tanned skin glowing. He even had his signature Ray Ban Caravans on. You normally hate when people wear sunglasses indoors but he made it work without looking like an asshole. And it looks damn good on him. 

You sighed and as you moved your focus away to not arouse suspicion you noticed Hangman look at you with narrowed eyes. You pretended not to notice. 

Your attention was diverted by the vibration of you phone signaling a notification. 

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: Is potato salad supposed to be green?

You smiled when you saw it was a text from Bradley

You: Depends, do you normally eat 2 week old potato salad?

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: Mav said it was okay :(

You: Mav also thinks anything not cooked in a microwave is gourmet.

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: Okay fair, its going into the trash. 

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: You know what is gourmet though? ;)

You: Mav

Brad Brad ✈️🐔: Not funny :(

You tried to hold in your laughter to no avail and it was loud enough for the other ATC s to look at you in confusion. 

“Sorry, just saw a funny meme.” You explained, the ATCs accepted this explanation and went back to their previous activities. 

You looked up again to catch another glimpse at Rooster when you saw Hangman staring at your phone in your hand with wide eyes. Then looked down at Rooster also smiling down at his own phone, and then back at you. 

You could see the wheels in his head turning, and then he made a face that made it clear that he connected the dots. 

Oh shit. You had to get out of here.

You quickly packed up your food and sat up, not bothering to say goodbye to your fellow ATCs. 

You ran out the mess hall and down the hallway but before you could turn the corner a hand pulls you back. 

You are now face to face with Lieutenant Commander Seresin. He looked at you for a few seconds 

“You’re Air Traffic Control right?” he asked you with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yes sir I am.” You said trying to disguise your voice the same as you did on the tarmac. 

“Don’t play games with me honey, I know that’s not your real voice.” You gulped 

He still had a grip on your arm so you couldn’t run even if you wanted to. Curse these Navy men and their workout routines. 

“Tell me your name, and that’s an order.” 

You were sweating under his gaze, you’ve never felt more panicked in your life.

You tell him your name in your real voice. 

He finally released his grip on you and also seemed to drop his serious demeanor. 

“I knew there was something about you! You’re the ATC that old chicken has been flirting with over comms aren’t you??”

You nod looking down at your feet. Damn it, there goes your whole relationship (if you can even call it that) with Rooster, because Hangman is definitely going to rat you out. 

“You see, Rooster was telling the squad that he was in love. And so of course we ask him who she is.” 

“But how surprising was it when he said that not only has he never seen her face to face, he doesn’t even know her name.” 

He was now pacing up and down the hallway. 

“Then I remembered that day where he bet you your number if he shot down Mav, he magically got a piece of paper with a number on his dash seemingly coming from nowhere.” 

“But it wasn’t a magic trick at all, was it?” He asked you rhetorically.

“No sir.”

“Exactly! Because I caught you sneaking off the Tarmac moments before Rooster jumped into his plane and happily announcing that he got your phone number.” 

“I saw your face, so you are both the ATC over comms and the girl he talks to,  the one he says he’s in love with.”

You looked up shocked at his statement.

“He’s in love with me?” 

You looked up from the ground with hopeful eyes. 

“Yes he is.” Hangman tells you matter of factly. 

“You’ve presumably been talking to Rooster for months, but you've yet to meet him in person, let alone even tell him your name.”

“What game are you playing here?” He asks you

“It’s not a game, I do care about Bradley.” You sighed. 

“So then what is it?” 

“Sir, can we not please talk about it here?” 

You anxiously look around and see that people were now in the hallway exiting from the mess hall. And god forbid that Bradley was one of them. 

“Fine.” 

“Meet me at the Hard Deck after work.” 

——————————————————————————————-

 You were seated at the bar in the Hard Deck, your left leg bouncing anxiously.

You checked your watch, 5:47pm. Hangman said to meet him here right after work and you basically sped off the base to get to the bar on time.

You’ve been nursing the same beer for the past almost 30 minutes. You couldn’t focus on anything but the sound of your heart beating in your chest.

What was taking him so long? Did he forget? Did he already tell Bradley?

A million more questions swirled in your head. But you knew that if Hangman didn’t show up you were basically screwed.

Your self pity was interrupted by the booming sound of naval aviators strolling through the entrance, with one of them being Bradley and of course Hangman.

You were simultaneously trying to avoid Rooster’s gaze, while trying to catch Hangman’s attention.

When you finally caught his eye, you gave him a panicked questioning look. He gave you a subtle nod while continuing his conversation with the rest of the squadron. 

The crew made their way to their usual spot in the back with the pool tables. Hangman excused himself from the group nodding towards you.

You kept your eyes on him as he made his way to you. 

“Jimmy, can I get a beer?” Hangman asks the bartender.

“Lieutenant Commander.” You greeted him as he sat on the stool directly beside you.

He returned the greeting by saying your name.

“So let’s just get this out of the way. Did you tell Bradley?” You asked him, feeling a large brick settle in your stomach. 

“You can relax.. I didn’t tell Bradshaw.” He replies

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Relief flooding your body.

“But don’t think that you’re off the hook, you have some explaining to do.” Hangman added.

“What do you want to know sir?” You swallowed nervously.

“First of all, who are you exactly?” 

“I’m no one, I’m just an ATC.” You told him, looking down at your hands.

“Well you’re clearly not ‘no one’ if you’ve caught Rooster’s attention.” He rebutted.

“You’re little avoidance tricks might work on Rooster, but they won’t work on me.”

“And I know all your excuses for not meeting him are complete bs.”

“So why are you hiding from him?”

Now that’s the million dollar question isn’t it? It has been months since you started talking to Bradley, you spoke to him every single day, and fell asleep to the sound of his voice every night. Why were you hiding from him?

“I-.....I don’t know.” You confessed to Hangman. 

“Then whats stopping me from getting up and telling Rooster who you are?” Hangman asked you with a raised eyebrow. 

You stared at him, the words lost in your throat. 

“Nothing then I guess..”  He got up and started his way to the back.

You pulled his arm back similar to how he did to you earlier that day. He looked at you and your hand on his arm. 

“Please don’t…I beg you.” 

He sat back down on his stool giving you a questioning look but gave you the time to get your thoughts together. 

“I never intended for it to go on this long or this far..” You explained. 

“Bradley is so important to me. I knew he was special the first time I ever heard his voice.”

“It was during the uranium plant detachment from a few months ago. I risked my whole damn career to save him.” 

“I released the dagger reserve without Admiral Simpson’s approval.” You continued.

“That was you? You gave me clearance that day?” His eyes finally lost the skepticism and was replaced with admiration. 

“I did, everyone in that control room was completely frozen. I couldn’t just let them die.” 

“But that doesn’t explain this whole situation you have going on with him.” He questioned

“That was the last I expected to ever see of him, but you all decided to stay here in Miramar and I made the mistake of speaking to him a little too long over comms.”

“That’s to be expected honey, Rooster is a big ol flirt.” Hangman chuckled.

“Well not as a big of a flirt as me though.” He winked at you. 

He was trying to ease your worries and you appreciated that from him. Especially since he thought the worst of you less than 10 minutes ago. 

“And of course you and Mav have heard how he got my number over comms and thats currently where we are now.” You finished.

“Okay so thats the backstory, and you clearly care about him and he cares about you.”

“So it still doesn't answer why you haven’t told him who you are.”

“Think about it this way Lieutenant Commander…”

“You, Phoenix, Payback, Coyote, and Rooster. You are some of the most important and most revered people in the Navy short of the Admirals.” 

“You are the first in command, you are the best of the best in the entire world.” 

“What do I? A low level ATC, have to offer Bradley?.”

“I am just me, and he is who he is. I could never be a person whos good enough for him.” 

“But didn’t I just tell you? Bradshaw is in love with you.” Hangman argued. 

You smiled sadly, turning your head to glance at Bradley at the pool tables. His head thrown back in laughter at something Fanboy said. 

“Maybe..he is.” You turned back to Hangman.

“But one look at me and he’ll change his mind.” 

“I don’t understand. Do you think you’re-” Hangman’s response was interrupted by Rooster popping up behind you both. 

“Hangman, I thought you were getting a beer?” 

You suddenly felt lightheaded, the sight of Rooster standing so close to you making your heart beat a million times per minute. 

“Whos your friend?” Rooster asked Hangman while looking at you with a smile. 

You wouldn’t dare open your mouth and speak, risking Bradley recognizing your voice. You stared at Hangman with pleading eyes, hoping he didn’t give you away to Rooster.

Hangman looked at Rooster and back at you, pausing for a moment.

Hangman finally speaks telling Rooster your name. Fuck. You were naïve to think he’d keep your secret.

“We actually just met, she’s getting over a case of laryngitis so her voice is a little hoarse.” Hangman explained. 

You smiled at him, silently thanking him for not revealing your charade. 

“Hi, nice to meet you.” You let out in a hoarse voice, turning to look at Bradley.

He reached out and shook your hand and you can feel your stomach doing backflips for finally getting to touch the man that you’ve spent several months falling in love with. 

“Well I’m sorry to hear that ma’am, I hope you feel better.” Bradley offered politely.

“I’ll leave you and Hangman to your conversation.” He excused himself and returned to the pool table, you stared at him longingly as he walked away. 

Hangman looked at you in amusement. 

“You got it bad, don’t you honey?” Hangman asked with a slight chuckle. 

“That obvious?” You asked him

“Couldn’t be any less subtle if you tried.” 

“Which makes it so funny that Bradshaw had no clue its you.” He chortled. 

“Me personally, if I were him, I would know it was you the minute I saw you.” He added with a smirk,

Leave it to Hangman to be an insatiable flirt.

“Thank you for helping me out.” 

As big of an asshole Hangman can be, he really did have a good heart. 

“Your secret is safe with me honey.” 

——————————————————————————————-

@luckyladycreator2

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#rooster top gun #rooster imagine #rooster angst #rooster x reader #rooster x y/n #rooster #hangman #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #jake seresin #Top gun #top gum maverick #top gun one shot

[aihoshiino]

What are your thoughts on how onk is handling ruby recently

So I've been rattling my brains about this since long before this ask – since the chapter 123 leaks dropped, if I'm honest and I think I'm at a place where my feelings are "I understand why these choices are being made, I just don't like that these are the choices they went with".

(I kind of talked about this elsewhere last week, by coincidence, so sorry to anyone about to see me repeat myself LOL)

As someone who really, REALLY loves Ruby, it feels like there's been a consistent failure to properly center her and give her focus and interesting things to do since around the start of Tokyo Blade. Black hoshigan Ruby (as I've mentioned in a previous post) was a really interesting and exciting opportunity to dig into Ruby's trauma and darker feelings that OnK is comparatively quieter on. But with the benefit of hindsight now that the arc is over, it's clear that the whole thing was just a plot cul-de-sac - if I were feeling particularly uncharitable, I would go as far as to call it filler to waste time until Aqua was back in revenge mode. She might not ping back to white stars until 123 but black hoshigan Ruby essentially ceases to be relevant once Aqua is back in the picture until she can be used to serve his arc again.

And the frustrating thing is - I was so, SO fucking excited to see how Ruby was being handled in the start of the movie arc! It felt like we were building up to a really fantastic examination of Ruby's relationship with all three of her mothers, and the way toxic motherhood in general trickles down and poisons someone for long after they're out of the environment of abuse. The incredibly strong and vivid depictions of Ruby literally triggering and retraumatizing herself by engaging with material that depicted Ai's own abuse and the way it dragged back memories of her own abuse and abandonment were so powerful and so scary - her pain absolutely overflowed out of every single page and the care and tenderness with which it was depicted made me feel so deeply for Ruby. This poor, poor girl who has been in so much pain for so long and has done her best to be happy and strong but is at last reaching her human breaking point - it was so fucking good!

The arc we were promised for Ruby at the outset of the movie arc was, no joke, exactly the sort of thing I had been hoping and praying for Akasaka to do for her ever since I got back into the series in April. I really, genuinely thought this was finally going to be Ruby's time to shine and achieve some meaningful healing and catharsis.

And then the arc completely switches tracks to be about Aqua instead and all we've gotten from Ruby since is incest bait and her simping over her brother.

To be clear, I am 100% aware I am being disingenuous here and that there is way more going on than my eyerolling dismissal of it, but I'm trying to get across how it feels for me as a Ruby enjoyer VS how my Themes And Characterization And Narrative brain logically understands what is going on.

It absolutely completely makes sense for Ruby to be behaving this way right now. Gorou was the first and only person in her short life as Sarina to make her feel safe and valued and cared for and having the miracle of their reunion granted to her after she was sure she'd lost him forever and just as she was at emotional and mental rock bottom? That shit was GUARANTEED to turn her brain into soup and Ruby developing confusedly romantic and unhealthy feelings for Aqua vis-a-vis projecting Gorou onto him when she is so desperately in need of comfort and support is maybe not pretty or flattering, but it feels honestly, authentically weird and messy and uncomfortable. Oshi no Ko's willingness to portray character relationships with enough of that honesty to just let them be weird and fucked up and icky and unhealthy sometimes is something I really, really appreciate about it.

My issue is not that this plot point has happened to begin with - my issue is with how it's been framed. This is partially exacerbated by the manga's schedule getting FUBAR'd just after this reveal dropped and thus forcing us to stew in what I imagine is still the relatively early stages of this new status quo for maybe longer than intended, but we have gotten little to no serious examination of how Ruby actually feels about any of this. Almost every interaction the twins have had since this reveal dropped has been incest bait jokes. The fact that Ruby was in the middle of a massively overdue bit of character development that was finally all about her and her feelings only for that to get thrown to one side in favour of her being all uwu oniichansensei and being treated like a comic relief character is just so, so deeply insulting and betrays such a huge lack of respect for Ruby and her feelings.

The relative shallowness and childishness of them is, I think, intentional and accepting this uncritically as yummy ship bait is clown behaviour - we are playing around in this space specifically to soften us up for when the twins finally have an open and honest confrontation about this, but all that means is that for the time being, I am being asked to laugh at and vicariously enjoy Ruby's unhealthy, fucked up feelings born from her deep trauma and to be perfectly frank that just leaves me feeling fucking insulted.

As a survivor of the little sister incest anime boom and a fan of Revolutionary Girl Utena, I simply have no patience for a series that purports to take itself and its characters seriously then turns around and plays sibling incest for nudgewink laughs and ship bait, especially when it has derailed and, in the short term, superseded and ruined what was shaping to be an exciting and deeply emotional character arc for a character desperately in need of focus.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ruby hoshino #hoshino ruby #this is a pro ruby post so i don't think it counts as haterade-y enough to exclude from the tags #onk spoilers #oshi no ko spoilers

[akookminsupporter]

[230912 RM Weverse Post/Letter]

🐨 hello.

it’s my last birthday in my 20s.

I’m not sure if it’s because of my occupational characteristic, but it feels that a bit of shyness accompanies the day called birthday. even though i think that its a day that isnt too big of a deal.. i feel so happy and blessed that so many people send their sincerest congratulations/wishes.

Time to time, i think that love is something that gives/creates a name to someone. to where kim namjoon becomes ‘kim namjoon’. and its all because of you, that although it is just one day out of the many 365 days in a year, 29 year old me isn’t just a day that’s passing by.

Although i want to be a person who can be as honest as one can be, i wonder, to what extent, could the existence of the intangible and tangible relationship between fans and artists possibly go beyond and reach up to. Can everything just be accepted under a kind apparition called love? im still experiencing times where expressing my inner thoughts honestly becomes an achilles heel, and honesty becomes a wound, but im still not sure.

I had said in the past that i was sad that it was growing harder to talk. I feel that statement still stands true. but still, ive grown calmer. because i received all the sincereity that one may or may not receive in one’s life in the form of a large downpour, i regarded pessimism and futility to be cool, but i realized that im also someone who is optimistic. Isnt this a miracle. lately ive been living with the phrase, ‘why not’. i want to live by sharing the optimism that ive received from the people around me. And im also pressing down and holding onto my next songs that will be released someday.

Yes. could i show honesty in a more beautiful method than with music? its a truth everyone knows but it feels as if its still not enough. Thats why i sometimes wonder if i became bts because of this. because i wanted to do so in various ways. whether it be through programs, interview, or dance, whatever it may be.. how blessed of a life this is. And wherever i am, these things make me want to see it clearly with my own two eyes and ponder.

they say its destiny when things coincidentally overlap. they also say coincidence is also fate disguised as coincidence. And i think thats of a similar reason as to why im writing this letter to you. it feels as if i would have wrote this letter on September 2023 regardless of which version of me i would have been. every time, my birthday letter is describing the place that i have arrived at, just in a different language of love each time. because of all of you, im living really well. i want to live well. i just want to tell you every time, that im loving you with the best version of myself. Although i cant hug each and every one of you, my heart/feelings exceeds those feelings. no matter what appearance i may take, i wont ask for you to love me. but i will put in the effort that reflects how much <love> i have received.

the last birthday of my 20s is going smoothly like this. let us be healthy and happy for a long time, no matter what sky we’re under. lets meet again after some time passes.

Sincerely wishing you an early, if not a belated, happy birthday to you as well !

thank you.

-namjoon

Translation: @/miiniyoongs

#Namjoon #bts #nj Weverse #nj birthday

[for-yoongi0309]

231012 | RM on weverse

Hello

It is my last birthday in my twenties. Though I am not sure if it’s because of my professional characteristics, but it feels that a bit of shyness that accompanies the day that is called "birthday." even though i believe that its just a day that isn't too big of a deal in my opinion.. i yet feel so happy and blessed that so many people send their sincerest wishes.

From time to time, i think that love is something that gives and creates a name to someone. to where Kim Namjoon becomes ‘Kim Namjoon’. and it is all because of you, even although it is just one day out of the many 365 days in a year, 29 year old me isn’t just a day that is passing by.

Except I want to be a person who can be as honest as one can be, i wonder, to what extent exactly, could the existence of the untouchable and palpable of a relationship between fans and the artists that possibly go beyond and reach up to.

Can everything just be accepted under some kind of phantasm that is called love? I am still experiencing times where expressing my inner thoughts honestly becomes the heel of an Achilles, and then honesty becomes a wound, but i am still not so sure.

I had said in the past that i was sad and that it was growing harder for me to talk about things. I feel that statement still stands true however. but however, i have grown calmer. because i received so much sincerity that one may or may not receive in one’s life in the form of cloudbursting downpour.

I regarded despondency and futility to be cool, but i realized that i am also someone who is optimistic and positive. isn't that a miracle? lately I've been living with the phrase, ‘why not?’. i want to live by sharing the optimism that i have received from the people around me. and I am also pressing down and holding onto my next songs that will be released someday. yes. But could I show honesty in a more beautiful method other than with music? It's a truth everyone knows but it feels as if it's still not enough.

And that is why I sometimes wonder if i became BTS because of this. because i wanted to do so in various ways. whether it be through programs, interview, or dance, whatever it may be.. how blessed of a life this has become. and wherever i am, these things make me want to see it clearly with my own two eyes and reflect on. they say its destiny when things coincidentally overlap but they also say coincidence is also fate disguised as serendipity.

However, i think that is of a similar reason to why I'm writing this letter to you. it feels as if i would have written this letter in September of 2023, regardless of which version of me i would have been. every time, my birthday letter is describing the place that i have arrived at but done in different languages of love each time. because of all of you, i am living really well. i want to live well. i just want to tell you every time, that i am loving you with the best version of myself.

However else, i cannot hug each and every one of you and with that, my heart transcends with those feelings. no matter what appearance i may take, i wont ask for you to love me. but i will put in the effort that reflects all of the love I have received.

The last birthday inside my twenties is going smoothly simply like this. let us be healthy and happy for a long time, no matter what sky we’re under. Let's meet again after some time passes. sincerely wishing you an early, if not a belated, happy birthday to you as well! thank you.

— Namjoon

#ultkpopnetwork #mgroupsedit #idolsincedits #maleidolsedit #namjoon #kim namjoon #rm #bts #bangtan #w.weverse #0912

[siflshonen]

Your meta on the Todoroki family was well-researched and articulated but I have to ask if the segment on Touya not being strong enough to hold his father’s flames is obsolete now given the new information he has an ice Quirk? In all honesty, this kind of ruins Dabi’s storyline.

Thank you for reading and thank you for the ask!

Personally, I don’t think it’s fair to make any call about his storyline until we see the whole thing unfold. I feel that way about most of the character arcs in BNHA, if I’m being honest.

But in the case of suggesting that Dabi/Toya “not being able to take the heat of his father’s ambition” being a false statement now that he has some form of ice power? I totally disagree. That Dabi can use any form of ice now doesn’t erase the fact that he made himself a nice pile of blue-eyed charcoal on Sekoto Peak and only continued to live this long due to some mad science and deep grudge. He couldn’t “take the heat” then.

And, with or without an ice quirk, Enji’s ambition to surpass All Might has, well, it’s cooled now. Enji’s new bar is to surpass his own weakness, which he thinks he’s never gonna be able to do, and atone for what he’s done for his family - which I am pretty sure he also thinks he’s never gonna be able to do completely at this point in the story.

Also, I don’t think the presence of quirks in the members of the Todoroki family drama is the most important factor. They’re there to make cool superpower fights into a more dramatic spectacle, and give an in-world reason for the greater Todoroki family dynamic of a collapsing traditional system and how it affects each member of the family. I think Dabi having ice (or perhaps unlocking it) simply highlights the fact that Enji is a dumbass who had no idea how to love, nurture and support a child to their true potential, and Rei didn’t, either. They could have had a perfectly loving son who honored and supported them if they had looked at him as more than a tool (a “first son with first son duties to carry on my will” in Enji’s case and “the kid I’ll have with this man that’ll keep my family relevant and ensure our lasting security” in Rei’s) or failure in the first place. For various reasons, Rei and Enji were reluctant or unable to do that. They denied or overlooked Toya as an individual, beloved child, and by doing that, made Toya unable (and unwilling, as Dabi) to act as a first son is expected to.

I think the presence of the ice in Dabi’s heart now only means that there is still a chance for a happy ending, but it doesn’t negate everything that came before. Everything about Dabi’s continued survival to this moment, and even Enji’s, (and Keigo’s!) is a hard-won miracle or a miracle of unbelievable chance, but in a way that makes me desperate to grab the frayed edges of these characters’ fates and help spin them into something substantial, if still torn and tattered. And burned to crap.

#ask #BNHA #mha manga spoilers #BNHA manga spoilers #toya todoroki #dabi #Enji todoroki #rei todoroki #Dabi might have to be on house arrest for a long time after but like #so are most ghosts in a sense so it’s whatever #hahaha

[kny-stardust]

Chapter 0 - Prologue / Loss

Word Count: 4013

Summary: Your father has been sick ever since you could remember. He managed to live long and have many children, but now his sickness has been caught up to him and he'll soon be gone. His dying wish is to see a legend that has protected your family for generations.

“He doesn’t have long to live, child.” He was pretty straightforward, but you could almost hear the sadness in his tone. “In all honesty, I’ve always thought it was a miracle that he managed to live this long with this lifestyle and this frailty. He lived a good life with all of these hardships, but he knew it was to come someday. I guess, even better than I or anyone else did.”

You only nod your head as you hear those words, trying to keep yourself calm, to not tear up. The doctor handed you a handkerchief for you to cry in, but you politely declined, getting a hold of yourself.

Your father was well known in the village as a kind and charitable man and loved by all. People often said that he and your family were some of the last truly good-hearted people remaining in the world. It was also known that your father was sick from birth, being so weak that he often would spend time in bed. No one expected him to live long, but he thrived, took over the “family business” and built a family of his own. He was the prime example of overcoming hardships in life, but there was always so far a human can get with their natural limitations. Your father said he was feeling more tired than usual these last few weeks and he collapsed earlier this morning, whilst playing with his youngest son, your baby brother. You carried him all the way to the village so the doctor could check on him as fast as he could.

“For how long will we have him with us…?” You asked, trying to sound as neutral as possible, but felt like you failed miserably.

“A few weeks. I dare to say he won’t last more than a couple of months.” The doctor said while looking at your father, laying in bed, still asleep. “He shouldn’t strain himself at all, if you want to have him as long as possible. He is prohibited from all work and activity that requires physical effort and should rest.”

“Nothing different from usual, but more strict, huh?” You muttered under your breath.

“I hate to be the bringer of bad news, child. I really do, but there’s nothing I nor anyone can do for him.” He said before sighing. “I’m really sorry.”

“No one is blaming you, sir.” You told him, barely managing to pull off a smile. “If anything, we should be grateful for you to receive us at any moment, despite the inconvenience. You were a real lifesaver. Thank you, sir.”

“It’s my job, child. Whenever he wakes up, you can leave with him. Your mother and siblings must be worried.” He said, before standing up and leaving that room.

You sighed as you left the chair to sit beside your father. He looked better than before. His breathing was even now and his fever seemed to have lowered down. Despite that, when you held his hand, it was cold, freezing even. You weren’t surprised. More often than not, your father was bedridden and needed special care. You came to memorise all his symptoms and what to do to make him better or to keep him stable enough until his body could get better by itself. It usually took quite some time, but soon he would be better, walking around the house, albeit slowly. You often wondered how he could bear it all his life, if he hid it from your family so you wouldn’t worry more than you already do or if he would just not be bothered by it at all.

While he was asleep, you sat there by his side, holding his hand between yours and blowing it to warm it up, a habit you pick up while growing up. It didn’t take much for him to open his eyes, looking around confused.

“(Y/N)... Where are we?” He asked, his voice low.

“At the village. You were unwell, so I brought you here.” You replied, preferring not to say that he collapsed.

“Oh, I see.” He says, moving to sit in the doctor's bed, looking around. “Hasn’t Tanjiro come with you?”

“No, I mean… He wanted to come, but everyone was so worried about you, so I had him stay back home to calm everyone down.” You explained, a bit embarrassed. In fact, when you saw father collapsing, you were the first to freak out and immediately picked him up and ran down the mountain to get him treated, leaving your sister behind to calm your wailing brother. “But, don’t worry. I can carry you just fine, father. And I’ve already rested a bit, so it’s okay.” You told him with a confident smile.

Your father looked at you warmingly, his chin resting on one of his hands before chuckling a bit.

“Is something funny?” You asked him.

“Not really. Just thinking how my little princess has the spirit of a boy.” He said, reaching his hand to pat your head.

“Father, I’m not a child or little anymore.” You told him, jokingly.

“I know, but you’ll always be my baby princess, even if you are an old lady. Don’t tell Nezuko or Hanako though.” He replied chuckling, before pulling out his hand and moving slowly in the bed. “It’s getting late. Let’s go back to your mother and siblings. They must be worried.”

“Yes!” You replied, picking your father’s geta (traditional japanese footwear) and helping him wear his haori (traditional japanese jacket) before letting him lean on you for support before your travel up to the mountain.

“Sis…” You hear your younger sister calling you, catching your attention.

“Nezuko? Is something the matter?” You ask, turning to her. She was standing at the door frame, looking at the floor shyly.

“Well, a bit…? Father seems to have turned a bit for the worse.” She says lowly, hiding her hands on each other, but you could still see them shaking, although slightly.

“I see.” You tell her, giving her a little smile. “Would you mind picking it up from where I stopped?”

“Not at all.” She replies, being quick to pick the apron you were wearing and putting it on.

“When mom gets home, I’ll help you with whatever you ain’t done with, okay?” You tell her while walking to your parents room.

“Don’t worry, sis. I’ll be done with it quickly. It’s just that you and mom are better in tending to father.” She says, looking a bit embarrassed.

You just chuckle a bit and watch her turn to do the dishes before entering your parents room. You find your father sitting in his futon, patting your baby brother on the back, who soundly asleep in his lap, drooling a bit in the cover. You chuckle a bit, making your father notice you and make a sign to not wake him up. You nod as you pick a spare blanket you had and cover him before peeking a kiss in his forehead.

“How are you feeling, father?” You ask him, whisperingly, as your hand reaches for his own, touching it. It was freezing cold, again.

“A bit more tired and my body aches a little. How do I look to you?” He replies, before coughing a bit onto his sleeve, trying to not wake up the young one.

As he asks you that, you take a closer look at him. He’s not okay. Both of you knew that very well, despite not talking much about it. His cheeks were flustered, not from embarrassment, but from fever. His eyes were hazier than before and his eyelids seemed heavier, as if he could barely keep them open. Not only that, but his breathing was weak and shallow, as if he was making an effort and his body as a whole seemed thinner and frailer than he had been all his life.

“Is it that bad?” He asks sweetly, as if he was talking about a gift you were given and you seemed to dislike, but had not voiced it out.

“Well… Yes.” You reply under your breath, but fully knowing he had heard you, if the subtle change in his breath was anything to go by. Just as negative thoughts start to crawl through your mind, you shake your head and look at him. “Is there something you are in need now, father?”

“Hum…” He hums, closing his eyes as if to think what he needs, before turning to you, with an embarrassed smile. “I’m feeling a bit thirsty.”

“I see. I’ll be right back.” You said to him smilingly, standing up to rush to the kitchen.

It had been a couple of weeks ever since the incident. Your family had been relieved that your father came back to them, but that was short lived. As soon as your baby brother and your father fell asleep, which had becoming earlier and earlier with each passing day, you told them what the doctor had said. Your mother cried silently as Nezuko consoled her and your younger siblings questioned you a lot about your father's well being and why he had to die. Every tear from them felt like a sharp blade piercing your heart, and you struggled to explain everything while keeping your tears in check. In the end, when everyone calmed down, Tanjiro suggested everyone do a little thing to help in the house and take the burdens from father, so he could stay long with you. Everyone agreed, but most of the house chores fell on you, mother, Tanjiro, Nezuko and another brother, since the youngest three couldn’t do much by themselves.

You returned to the room, holding the glass in your hands and carrying these thoughts and memories, but when you got there, you found your father sitting with his eyes closed, his breath even. You sighed as you placed the glass close to the bed and moved to gently and carefully lay him on the bed. He didn’t even wake up slightly, only frowning his forehead a bit before relaxing and going back to deep slumber. He was so light in your arms; you usually wouldn’t have a problem carrying him or your siblings, since you were plenty strong for a girl and someone of your age, but in these past few weeks, he had lost so much weight, that he looked like a living skeleton.

So you just sat there silently, watching him and your brother sleeping. The little one had woken up at a certain moment and noticed you there, promptly moving towards you and placing his head on your lap before falling back to slumber. These movements hadn’t woken up your father. Sometimes, you wondered if you would one day see him go to sleep only to find him dead soon after. It happened to your grandmother, a couple years back. On one particularly night that you found hard to sleep, she pulled you to her bed and sang your favourite lullaby to make you sleep. The next morning, you found her cold and she wouldn’t wake up, but you had thought she was just really tired and paid no mind to the fact that her heart wasn’t beating. You hadn’t realised what had happened until your parents told you that grandma wouldn’t wake up anymore. Back then, it was your father consoling your wailing you, but if he was gone, who would console you?

You are dragged out of your thoughts by the cheerful voices of your siblings just outside of your house. They must have come back with mother. You wait a bit longer until your mother comes in, seeing you watching over the two sleeping ones. She whispers a ‘thank you’ to your ear, as she takes your brother from your lap, allowing you to get a rest. You look back before closing the door, watching your father’s resting face over your mother’s tense shoulders.

You wake up to see the dark ceiling of your room. Around you, you can hear your siblings even breath, with occasional movements from one of your younger brothers. You can also hear an sleeping breath coming from the next room, but only one. You leave your futon quietly, trying to not wake up your siblings, some of which were sleeping over you. You put on your (F/C) haori as you silently close the door behind you, moving at the tip of your feet to the room just down the hallway. The door was slightly cracked open. Throught the crack, you can see your mother sleeping in the larger futon, but no sight of father.

You stand straight again and try to hear any sound other than the your family’s breathing. When you couldn’t hear nothing but the distand waving of the leaves from the trees nearby your house, you close your eyes and sniffs the air. After a few seconds, you follow the scent to the back of the house, where you find your father sat in the veranda, looking at the dark backyard.

“Father?” You call him, whisperingly.

Your call makes him turn to you, as if taken by surprise.

“Oh, (Y/N). What are you doing up? It’s late.” He asked you weakly.

“I woke up. You weren’t with mom, so…” You said as you approached him, sitting at the vacant place at his side. “What about you?”

“I woke up at some moment and couldn’t sleep anymore. I thought that looking for the Red Eyes would be a way for passing time.” He told you, as he looked back to the forest.

“The Red Eyes?” You asked, thinking of where you heard of if before. “Oh, you mean the family guardian?”

“Yes. They were always around at this time of the year. But I can’t see them anywhere. I fear they are relly gone. What a shame.” He says, sighing.

The Red Eyes. It’s a guardian spirit that has been hanging around your family’s house for a long, long time. You remember your grandma telling this story to you when you were little, and how she learned it from her own grandparents who learned from their own before them. You weren’t sure for how long, but this guardian spirit has always been around your family’s home, caring for your well being for generations, or so the story goes. Your grandma said that the Red Eyes would every so often show up around the house, though more frequently on winter. She recalled that when she was awake in her bed, she would see this silhouette walking around the house, but if she stood up to look through the window, she would only see a pair of red eyes in the darkness, looking at the house from behind the trees.

You and your siblings tried to see the Red Eyes multiple times, but none of you ever saw them. Your grandma and your parents, the ones who saw them the most, said that they hadn’t shown up for many years, which was odd, since they seemed to stay put close to the house for nearly the whole winter. They didn’t even eat your family’s special cookies, which they seemed to love. Your father told you how he and your grandparents occasionally left it in the veranda a bowl full of these cookies at night and found it next morning empty and an ‘Thank ye’ written on the dirty or snow close by. This hasn’t happened ever since you were a small child.

“Do you think something happened to them, father?” You ask him, as a cold gust of wind blows on you two, motioning you to grab a spare blanket and wrap it around him. You had to be aware of his temperature for his sake.

“I don't know. Perhaps.” He said, as he held the blanket closely. “They never showed themselves, so no one knows what they look like. If I did, and was healthier, I would look for them.”

“I wish I had met them at least once. I could track their scent until I found them, so you wouldn't have to worry.” You said.

“Maybe if you dance the Hinokami Kagura, they will show up.” You heard a voice saying. Looking back, you see your mother in her nightgown approaching you.

“What do you mean, Kie?” Your father asks as she sits at his other side.

“They would show up while you and your father were doing the Hinokami Kagura.” She said, making your father's eyes go fully wide for the first time in a long while. Your mother seemed to have noticed it, as she smiled sadly and held his hand, rubbing her fingers against his, to warm them. “You never seemed to notice, since you were dancing or learning how to dance. But, when I first saw you dancing, I was looking around and seeing how beautiful everything seemed to match with one another. That's when I saw them watching among the trees. I could see a little of their face, but it has been so long and they were rather far away from where I was, so I don't exactly remember their looks.”

A moment of silence falls among the three of you as the words sink in.

“So if I dance, they might show up?” You ask your mother to confirm that theory.

“Yes. I saw them showing up to watch your father dance. I haven't been able to pay much attention for the last few years, but they always showed up when anyone doing the dance did it.” She says, with a quiet voice.

“Then, let me prepare real quick. I'll do the dance.” You said, standing up and entering your home.

“Why?” Your father asks, making you stop. You turn to him, with a warm smile on your lips.

“You were worried about them, weren't you, father? Then, if I dance and they show up, at least you would know that they are okay.” You told him, not waiting for his response and quickly going to the room to change.

When you come back, you're wearing your (F/C) kimono with a (F/C) hakama (a type of japanese trousers, the divided model) over it. Your feet are bare as you touch the cold ground, feeling the grass against your skin. The wind blows. It's colder than before, but controlling your breathing, you can overcome it. You stand a couple meters away from the house and your parents. You are still controlling your breathing. The cold doesn't bother you anymore and the blowing wind becomes a music to your ears. You began to move. Your feet are light, barely making sound against the grass. Your body is heating with the effort; not so much that becomes overbearing, but enough to make as if the cold doesn't exists anymore. While you're dancing, you feel as if you're merging with the nature around you. The winds pushes you up when you jump and the earth catches you when you fall. The surrounding sounds become a sirene, almost silent melody to your ears. You're in a trance as you dance in circles, always returning to the same place. No weight in the world could hold you back for as long as you keep on dancing. It's no wonder that your father seemed healthier when he danced Hinokami Kagura.

Then, a sound ceases and you stop in your tracks. It was a faint sound, almost unheard, but you did hear it and thus you noticed when it came to a stop. You turn to your house, finally taking notice of the snowflakes that began to fall. There, you find your mother and father wrapped together in the blanket you brought. His head is resting on her shoulders, like he used to do when they watched you playing with your younger siblings. He usually drifted to sleep when he did it, but now is different. You can see it. His chest isn't moving. He wasn't breathing.

“Father?” You called him, only to be answered with silence. “Dad?” You called him again as you approached them.

As you come closer, you came to realize that his body wasn't moving at, not even one muscle and even his heart barely moved. You look at your mother, who was caressing his shoulder, with her eyelids half opened. It's only when you at in front of them that you realize the tears running down her cheeks. Then, you yourself feel something cold running down your cheeks.

“Papa… Papa!” You cry as you fall to your knees.

Your head rests at his lap as you hug his waist. You remember when you started to do it when you were little. You would hold him just like this and he would chuckle and pat your hair with his bigger hand. You stopped doing it once you got older, but now you only wish he would do so one more time. You know he can't do it now. But the hardest part wasn't that; it was the feeling of your heart being ripped to shreds knowing that you wouldn't be able to see him again, that he would never talk to you again, that he was gone for good.

“Papa! Papa!” You continue to cry as you hold him tight, the only noticible sound you can register is of your mother's sobs.

Suddenly, the whole place became a lot colder.

The whole village came to your father's funeral. It was not an easy travel from down the mountain to the top. It only showed how well they knew him and how much they respected or appreciated him. Many people gave you their feelings for our loss; there were a couple boys around your age that tried to especially console you, but you ignored them, giving excuses as consoling your mother or calming your baby brother. You didn't have time to spare for them, not even a thought if they didn't understand that your family came first.

As the day came to an end, you all buried him somewhere close to the house, where you could visit him often, just to pay respects or when you missed them. Your siblings started to fall asleep one after the other, first your youngest ones, then moving to the older ones. By the middle of the night, only you and your mother were awake. She was sleeping with you and your siblings since her bedroom felt too lonely and cold. She was holding your hand tight, almost shaking from so much strength, and you caressed her hand to calm her down.

“He saw them...” Your mother suddenly said, waking you up.

“What?” You asked her, not understanding.

“When you were dancing...” She began to speak. “He suddenly gasped, and sighed, and then he said, ‘Oh, there you were all this time’. Then, he smiled and he rested his head on my shoulder.” She stopped, sobbing a bit as she turned to you. Despite the darkness, you could slightly see her tears running down her face. “I couldn't find them, but your father did. He saw the Red Eyes. They are still protecting us after all.”

You can't help but look at her with you eyes wide open. You then turn to your side, facing her and holding her hand, with a smile in her face.

“That's good, mom. At least, papa knows we're safe and can watch us from above calmly, knowing that.” You told her.

She nodded, as she silently crying. You hugged each other, falling asleep like that.

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny fanfic #kny au #kny roleswap au #reader insert #tanjiro #nezuko #kamado family

[quillheel]

[TEXT] - you’re gonna laugh, but can you pick me up at the police station? @autonomousxselves Aigis @ Junpei :3

When Junpei had gotten jolted awake from the sprawled ( if somewhat awkward ) comfort of the dorm's armchair by the sharp sound of his cellphone in his jeans pocket, he hadn't known what to expect, but he's pretty sure it wasn't a real text ━ it seemed all too often scammers found his phone first, and he was already half annoyed when he flipped it open, eyes squinting at the little screen, only for that train of thought of damn it, who woke me up?! and this better not be about some project he forgot about... to get snatched by the gear-shift and fried like children sticking fingers into bug-zappers.

he was on his feet stumbling as he shrugged on his faux-fur lined jacket and shouldering open the front door onto the front steps as his brain scrambled faster than he might've ever gone. Last minute study sessions and movie marathons and pretty girls who'd ghost him be damned, those legs hadn't moved like this in a long time.

Iori. / TXT: ━ What?! Whay happened?! Iori. / TXT: ━ Stay put! omw!!

it's a miracle he managed to spell any of those six words correctly as he ran, in full honesty.

( he'd never heard her use the phrase 'you're gonna laugh' before neither, did she hear it at school or something? it kind of gave him chills, but better yet, who the hell gave Aigis a phone?! could she just text from her brain this whole time or something?! spooky... )

#HONESTLY LOVE THIS AS MY FIRST REAL THING W JUNPEI <3 #and with ur new blog actually!! #i assume this is somepoint after aigis joined gekkoukan high but not Too lategame? mostly just bc im only at oct 20th rn BKHGTRB #also feel free to do w/e with ur own text formatting; i just fuck it we ball'd til it turned into smth i liked BKHGRB #━ ♔ cardinals with snow-brushed wings : asks. #━ ♔ to jump from anywhere & make it home : threads. #━ ♔ you sing but only the pavement listens : ic. #MUSE / Junpei Iori #ROLEPLAY / Junpei Iori #autonomousxselves #p3 //

[beantothemax]

I hate him.

The first feelings Therion had towards Alfyn Greengrass were hatred and bitterness.

How could this yokel country boy have so much optimism about everything? Even that kid, Tressa, knew that not everything was fine and dandy in the world, and she had dreams of becoming a merchant, of all things.

But this overly-generous grass-stained bumpkin insisted on being grossly positive about everything, even going so far as to refuse payment for his services.

It was infuriating.

Yet, as the days passed, that overly cheerful demeanour began to grow on him.

Alfyn's smiles and bad jokes were commonplace, and eventually a welcome thing in the group. Even H'aanit joined in the joking. If the stoic, righteous do-good hunter could appreciate Alfyn's humour, why the hell couldn’t he?

Then something shifted. Therion couldn’t even pinpoint when.

Maybe it was when he gave Alfyn his shawl in Stillsnow. At the time, Therion had brushed off the tender moment as him trying to keep the resident Medicine Man alive since he seemed incapable of self-preservation.

But had that really been true...?

Therion remembered their time in Wellspring, when the heat grew unbearable and he’d had to take his shawl and scarf off. Until that time, he had kept them on stubbornly, even in Sunshade when they found Primrose. Now, he knew he had to take them off lest he die of overheating.

He had heard enough horror stories (and complaints about his choice of garment) from the local apothecary in Boulderfall to know that overheating meant a slow, painful death was guaranteed. So, he (albeit reluctantly) took off his precious purple shawl and scarf, and tied them both around his waist.

Therion remembered the look Alfyn had given him. Automatically assessing all the scars that littered his forearms and neck, and furrowing his brow when he saw the more gnarly ones, the frustrating ones that hadn’t healed right or had gone untreated after an infection. It was really a miracle Therion hadn’t died yet, in all honesty.

Therion would never forget the way Alfyn had sat down in their room at the inn and asked if he had any injuries that needed tending to. He would never forget the feeling of Alfyn’s surprisingly gentle fingers working at a cut he’d sustained from a Ratking. He’d nevee forget the warmth that bloomed in the cold pit of his chest for the first time since-

....Green was starting to change for him.

What had really changed Therion’s view of Alfyn, though, was after the fight with Darius in Northreach. The thief was shivering from the cold and his own tears freezing on his cheeks, when he felt an added warmth on his shoulders, and smelled a familiar scent. Grass and herbs.

Therion looked up from the ground at Alfyn’s face, concern and kindness etched deep into his eyes.

“...Really...? You’re giving a thief your mantle, a symbol of trust?” He’d asked.

Without missing a beat, Alfyn had replied with: “I trust you.”

“...Oh.”

Oh.

That night, Alfyn had held him close and let him sob until he could cry no longer, Alfyn had messed up his hair and traced the scar on his face and kissed it and suddenly Therion knew exactly what that warmth was in his chest.

Love. Love, love, love, love. He loved Alfyn. Aeber help him, he had fallen in love with Alfyn and Alfyn loved him too.

And now here they were, years and months later, back in Alfyn’s little town of Clearbrooke. Therion wore green and had the Riverlands' drawl and clipped his hair out of his face while he concoted tinctures and salves with the man he loved so dearly. Now here he was, with sleeves rolled up to reveal gnarly scars long since healed, however incorrectly.

Now here he was, not quite a faded scar, but healed in all the right ways.

And all the thoughts and emotions Therion had towards Alfyn were as different as he himself was from the beginning of his journey.

I love him.

MAV YOU CAN’T JUST HIT ME WITH THE FIRST AND LAST SENTENCE CONTRAST!!!!!!!!!!! GAH!!!!!!!!!

#alfyn immediatly fretting over theri once he sees his scars… #and giving him his mantle in northreach… #this is SO lovely mav what the HECK!!!!!!!! #asks #adventures-of-turnabout #inbox fic

[big-cheesy-productions]

Dead Men Don’t Bite

Pathfinder Campaign Character Reflection

Session 6

Context: After fleeing the ghost crew, the strange fraction of a coin in hand, the party made it back to the Errant Paige which waited for them. The ship made haste away from Puerto Matiñana and set sail for Cantilados. The coin was clearly far more important and surrounded by far more danger than the captain had let on. However, the party was left little time to consider it all when they sailed through a splinter storm of the Maelstrom, a magical, massive, and never ending storm that rages off the islands. These splinter storms are devastating and deadly and this one proved no different. The ship capsized and righted itself several times over before what remained of the crew washed ashore, many lost to the tempest and many hurt. The party only hoped they would get some answers from the captain and quartermaster soon…

~

Death wasn’t something new to Jhara. She was 211 years old. She had already outlived several generations, watched children be born, grow, have children of their own, become grandparents, die. It was an inevitability that all elves and long lived creatures faced. It was part of life, and she had accepted that. 

This kind of death, the rampant, wanton, violent deaths that she had faced the last few weeks, was too much to bear. She hadn’t even begun to consider processing her own losses. To say that the grief from the deaths in the storm reopened a wound would be grossly incorrect. The wound was still gaping and raw and fresh. In the forest, after sending Piper away, she allowed herself to unravel, away from the eyes of this still unfamiliar crew. She didn't know Styles, other than his name and occupation on the ship really, but she was desperate to save him. She was desperate to save anyone. But she knew it would take a miracle. She knew what the black veins meant, she had seen it before. That night, she tried to just be thankful she was able to give him enough time to say goodbye.

Then there was the meeting with Vita. Jhara had seen quartermasters do damage control for their captains before. Vita did it quite expertly, she had to admit, but she wanted to hear the words from the Captain themselves, not from someone covering his ass. And she said Jhara and her companions are part of the crew now, they were "family."

Family? This wasn’t her family. These weren’t the faces she saw when she closed her eyes and thought of family. This ship wasn’t her home. Secrets, deceptions, and blind loyalty don’t make a family. Her blood boiled. She didn’t wear this flag around her torso as a fashion statement. At the very least, thanks to Edward’s honesty, she could take comfort in the fact that the four of them were all in the dark when it came to the Captain’s motivations.

~

Feel free to send me any questions! I’m keeping the context descriptions brief as I catch up to where we are now.

#dnd: jhara #pf2e: jhara #pathfinder #pathfinder 2e #cw: death #pirate campaign #pirate of #Dead Men Don’t Bite #pathfinder campaign #character reflection #writing #character development #cw: Blood #cw: blood poisoning #dnd oc #pf2e #pirate oc #pirate character #pirate #dnd pirate

[bellascarousel]

Fan Fic Writer Asks: 8, 14, 17 and 19 👀

8) What project(s) are you currently working on?

My main fic focus at the moment is Let's Run Away Together, in which Anthony proposes in the gazebo, and they elope to Gretna Green. I'm almost done with it. Only the second half of the Hastings' ball, a reconciliation between Kate and the Sharmas, and then the epilogue to go.

I have far too many ongoing WIPs for my own good. But, I am also periodically working on three that I haven't started posting, yet.

They're Only Words (But Words Can Break Your Heart) is a Franchael soulmate fic. The premise is that the first words your soulmate will ever say to you get written on your wrist on your eighteenth birthday. I've so far written their first meeting, John's death, and Frannie waking up the night Michael comes back from India to discover that the first words he ever said to her 8 years ago have suddenly appeared on her wrist. Now for the fun of watching them try to navigate this mess.

I have a ghost AU where the Bridgertons all vanished during a house party at Aubrey Hall in 1814. Fast forward 200 years, and the spouses have all been invited to the party of the year - the annual Hearts And Flowers ball at Aubrey Hall. Nobody knows who hosts these balls (Though, I know, and I'm willing to bet you can guess 😉). All of them have always been able to see ghosts (except Penelope, whose connection to the supernatural is that Lady Whistledown possesses her to write her blogs) and end up seeing the Bridgertons. So, they try to find out what really happened and free them from the Limbo they're in.

I'm also working on a 13 Going On 30 type AU. After the Hearts And Flowers ball, Anthony gets passed-out drunk and wakes up on his 39th birthday into a world where there was no bangle-drop, no miracle at the altar, and he and Edwina are very unhappily married.

We won't discuss all the ideas I haven't started writing, yet. I really need to get back to my Bella Talks Writing series and share summaries of them all.

14) If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, which fic would you pick?

Hmm... Actually, I think the ghost story one. The juxtaposition of 1814 and 2014 both kind of happening at the same time, and the whole idea of this ball where most of the guests can't see the Bridgertons seems like it could be really fun in a visual medium.

17) What's something you've learned about while doing research for a fic?

The logistics of eloping (including how long the trip to Gretna Green and back would take) in Regency England for both Let's Run Away Together and Ruined. And that surgeons who normally wear glasses have these special ones that they wear in operating theaters (I've since forgotten what they are called, so I'm going to have to look it up again when I get to that point) for The Doctor Who Loved Me.

19) Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs

“Anthony, that is enough. I will dance, tonight. With anybody that asks. And you will be a proper married man and dance with some of the wallflowers that otherwise might not get a chance to dance. And we will answer whatever questions are posed to us with honesty and grace. I do not particularly like it, myself. But, it is why we are here. Your sister and brother-in-law are being very kind in being obvious in their support for us. The least we can do is properly use this opportunity they have given us.”

The look Simon gave her was full of awe and respect. “Nicely said, Viscountess Bridgerton.” He lifted her hand and tied a dance card to it. Then he scratched off the dances that had already taken place and signed his name on the line for the second one to come. “Look, I was gracious enough to give your husband your first dance. As the host, I could have claimed it for myself.”

Anthony grumbled at that. But, he took Kate’s hand and signed the next dance coming up, the last dance of the evening, and one of the waltzes in between. He looked about to sign a fourth spot, but Simon yanked the card out of his hand. “You may claim any dances where neither of you are otherwise engaged, but for the time being, three is plenty. Give her a chance to mingle, Anthony.”

Whatever Anthony was about to say was interrupted by a familiar voice. “Is Lord Bridgerton being his usual annoying self, this evening? Honestly, I had hoped that marriage would soften you a bit.”

Kate spun around and smiled. She gave a slight curtsy. “Good evening, Lady Danbury.”

#bella talks writing #bella's asks and answers

[basicsofislam]

THE COMPANIONS OF THE PROPHET (PBUH) : Introduction

In the seventh century, Arabia was in a terrible state and had gone out of order. The humanity was savage and monstrous, and was away from nice qualities; there was not a period worse and more deviated from that one in the history of humanity. People were so deviated that they would attack tribes and enslave free people and would kill slave for pleasure. All parts of Arabia were places of debauchery where all kinds of disgrace and immorality were dominant. People used to drink alcohol like water, gamble, prostitute openly and practice usury. The feuds between tribes used to wound people’s hearts. Some of them continued for centuries. The situation of the Aws and Khazraj tribes in Madinah was a clear example of it. The enmity between these two tribes lasted for 130 years. Daughters were regarded as means of shame and they used to be buried alive.

People used to worship the idols of stone and wood that they themselves had made, sacrifice animals for them, make vows for them and beg them. These wrong beliefs and customs were so deeply rooted among Arabs that they had blind confidence in them and said, “We found our ancestors in this way. This is the right way. We will not give up this way no matter what happens.”

Who was going to show the way of salvation to these people, who were confused and aberrant?

Who were going to direct and improve their feelings and abilities?

Who was going to reconcile them and bring them together?

Everybody was in need of somebody who would teach them what the universe meant, what man was, why he was created, why he was sent to this world and what his duty in the world was.  He would tell people what the universe, which had become an incomprehensible book and a meaningless roll of paper, meant and teach people what to do in the presence of that magnificent book.

He would teach people how to live humanely, how to take real pleasures from life, what law, justice, equality, love, respect, righteousness and honesty was.

How much more was the humanity going to wait? Not only the humanity but also mountains, stones, all living and non-living beings were longing for that savior. When he arrived, he would free the universe from meaninglessness, idleness and aimlessness.

Allah Almighty did not make those longing eyes wait more. He sent His beloved Prophet, Hz. Muhammad Mustafa (pbuh). His advent was mercy for the realms. Suddenly, the universe started to smile. The universe became meaningful and the humanity came around when he arrived; the real face of everything became known with the light he brought. People found the right path through him.  He held the Quran, the greatest miracle given to him, and read the universe with it and also made others read it:

He said: “Look at this magnificent universe, the sky embellished with wonderful stars, the sun and the moon and see how delicately they are rotated. Look at the night and the day and see how they follow each other. Look at the mountains, plains, streams, rivers and the endless plants that are buried under the ground and that are revived again. Look at your own creation. Think of the being that created you out of a drop of water.  

Come to your senses. They are not coincidental things; they cannot occur on their own. They are organized by the knowledge, power and will of a creator. Realize them and give up worshipping idols, which cannot harm or help anybody. Do not ridicule yourselves with these meaningless and nonsensical beliefs. Believe in your Lord, who created you as human beings; thank your Creator, who makes you live with endless bounties and worship Him only.“  

Those who used their brains accepted this divine call. The land of eternity opened for their suffocated spirits. They entered the Paradise of oneness by getting rid of polytheism. They started to turn around the light of guidance. They became stars that orbit this sun of prophethood.

The obstinate people who did not want to read the universe could not get rid of the darkness of denial in which they stuck. Sometimes their obstinacy deceived them and sometimes their conceitedness made them deviate. Their inability to use their brains deprived them of this bliss.

The gap between belief and unbelief got bigger and bigger just like darkness and light, and day and night.

That person made such a unique and unmatchable revolution that the most civilized people emerged from those predatory, slovenly and savage people. He changed hundreds of customs and habits of them deeply rooted in them. He transformed this nation which recklessly shed the blood of one another into another nation which became so merciful and compassionate as not to hurt a fly.

Those distinguished people were brought up within the luminous circle of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh). The Messenger of Allah told them who man was, where he was coming from, where he was going and what his duties were.  He told them that they would not be left unattended, that they were sent to this world for testing and that the good and the bad would be distinguished from each other.

Such great people emerged out of them that everybody, whether they were friends or enemies, appreciated them. For instance, Hz. Abu Bakr became the most superior person in the world people after prophets. He devoted his life to the way of Allah Almighty and used all of his property in the way of Allah. He became distinguished with his mercy, compassion, politeness, foresight and wisdom

Umar, who was so hard-hearted as to bury his own daughter alive, was recorded in golden letters in the history books with his justice after he believed in the Prophet and was educated by him; besides, the Prophet appreciated him by saying, “If a prophet were to come after me, it would be Umar Ibn Khattab.”

Thanks to his education, people like Hz. Uthman, in the presence of whom the angels felt shy, and Hz. Ali, a real hero, a lover of knowledge and a statue of  asceticism and piety, were brought up.

Khalid bin Walid, who was an ordinary soldier but suddenly became “Allah’s sword” Amr bin As, who became a genius in politics, Zayd bin Haritha, who was an ordinary slave but became the commander of the Islamic army, and his son Usama, Salman al-Farisi, who was a shepherd but became the governor of Iran and despite this lived like an ordinary man, were the people who became prominent after being taught by the Prophet (pbuh).

Those lucky people received such a spark from that sea of light that they became the most civilized and considerate people, rising high to the horizons out of reach; they became exuberant with the abundance they received and travelled to country after country to spread the truth; they became teachers of civilization for the most civilized people.

* * *

Thousands of Companions are mentioned in the resources of the Islamic history. Only the names of some of Companions are mentioned; the lives of some Companions are narrated briefly or in detail. In this work, we tried to write about the lives of only 213 Companions, in whose lives were exemplary lessons and stages.

Instead of giving dry encyclopedic information, we preferred a style that will make reading and learning easy. We found it appropriate to narrate the lives of the Companions like the Four Caliphs, which can be written as separate books, in summary.

We referred to the existing Arabic resources and studied them while searching the life of each Companion.

If we have managed to reflect the Era of Bliss and make that luminous generation known to a certain extent, we will regard ourselves lucky. Success comes from Allah.

#Allah #god #islam #quran #muslim #revert #revert islam #convert #convert islam #converthelp #reverthelp #revert help #revert help team #help #islam help #salah #dua #prayer #pray #reminder #religion #mohammad #muslimah #hijab #new muslim #new revert #new convert #how to convert to islam #convert to islam #welcome to islam

[dustylovelyrun]

@stabmeinthefootibeg. Okay, so. Hackle said you flew the coop, and you aren’t answering any of your messages and stuff, so - calling you out for everyone else to see:

Did you break my phone? Because it’s currently dead as a brick and I don’t think it’s going to charge, like. At all. And there’s only three people in this house with a tech curse that steal phones. I am one. The other has been checked. So, I just - did you?

#not writing related #Jasper Strikes With Their Bullshit Again #I mean if you did - #that's honestly kind of fair? #slightly annoyed but #kind of expected in all honesty #I really should've gotten another brick or something #to ensure a year's survival #and it's kind of a miracle that it's lasted this long in all honesty

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - 2 GREAT Shows Ended & 1 Crappy One

March to April 2022 wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Ride (GaGa) Ep 10fin - BL grew up with this pulp - a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine AKA a cinnamon roll couple. Mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED 9/10 

Cutie Pie (YouTube Sat) Ep 7 - This is a cute little show when they’re awkwardly trying to date each other and be domestic. I love a grocery shopping trope. MaxNat giving us some really good kisses. Nuea & Syn are also cute. AND a BounPrem cameo. Pretty much they just there to shill for a gay marriage. But okay. I like the gay mafia cabal they got going on at Pentagon. The public love confession in the club was kind of insane actually, but that’s sort of the way the show is going. Also I guess that’s what gay clubs are for... making out. Owner has to do it and show how it’s done. 

La Cuisine (GaGa Sat) Ep 4 - This series is so soft and sweet. I love the way Ram is making his intentions clear without ever crossing a line very much the gentleman, it matches to Choup’s shyness really well. But I don’t see how they’re going to progress anywhere with these personality types. Meanwhile Sky is THE BEST boy. Being on the phone talking with your crush all night long is so first love, I can’t even. But I’ve actually never seen it depicted in a BL. I remain wild about this show and I love that they are confronting the cost of celebrity. 

KinnPorsche (iQIYI Sat) Ep 1 - I loathe the opening credits and song, not that this matters much. Initial thoughts: We in for 50% car porn 50% actual porn? OK. I’m game. The fight sequences are really good. Kinn’s eyebrows are like seriously aggressive caterpillars - I’m half afraid they’re going to strike out on their own, take up the rainbow flag and join the march in Not Me. I was thinking about live blogging this one, but honestly that’s all I have a lot to say so far. I didn’t take a lot of screenshots, which is usually a sign I don’t have a ton of feelings on a show. So far KiinPorsche is fine, good even. I’m interested. I’m looking forward to the next episode. But the most exciting thing for me was the ombre (hombre, heh heh) suit, and it’s not whipping me into a verbal frenzy. Not even the suit. However, if I feel different next week... 

Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Soul (iQIYI Weds) Ep 1-2 - I could imagine MaxTul anchoring this series but I’m glad to have Karn (the soul reaper Tua Phee) & Nut (Doctor Prakan) back on my screen. I like the nurse with the crush. In fact, I like all of the characters. The acting a solid too. I’m finding the music a little intrusive but I LOVE the premise so I’m willing to forgive it a few growing pains. Also we can’t ask too much from a New directed piece these days. 

Cupid's Last Wish (YouTube Sun) Ep 1 - I like it a lot more than I expected. I like that they are basically boyfriends before anything goes down. I like the will betrayal as a fissure point (witnessed a few of these myself). I love that Korn can recognize Win behind his sister’s eyes instantly. Mix is acting his little heart out. I’m into it. I’m keeping it in rotation. 

Miracle of the Teddy Bear (grey Sun) Ep 1-3 - This is NOT a premise that interests me. It consists of 16 short eps, airing Fri-Sun on Ch3 & 3Plus, reruns with subs on Netflix Asia, nothing else international. (Apparently it’s already super popular in Thailand.) I gave it a try on DC and I really do love the cast. I really like the leads dynamic, and the actor playing the teddy bear is adorable. But I find the inanimate objects talking really creepy. I ADORE the secondary couple - I always love a younger Ernest age gap romance. I think if it comes up on my radar again I’ll keep watching, but I’m not fussed. 

Enchante (YouTube Fri) Ep 10fin - Well that was a thing. Honestly it probubly should get an 8/10 by my rating system but I was so disappointed I’m giving it a 7/10 and not bothering to write a review. RECOMMENDED WItH RESERVATIONS Live blogg ep-by-ep recap here.

The Tuxedo (GaGa Sat) Ep 5 - These two are very good at flirting. But I’m not sure I can ever forgive the rich kid character. Another BL that is squandering great chemistry. So I guess that isn’t just only GMMTV’s purview.  

Love Stage!! (AISplay or grey Sat) Ep 8 - the subber I follow is on vacay so no report this week, I’m getting behind on this one.

My Secret Love (GaGa? Mon) Ep 1 - I thought this was supposed to air on Monday but... nothing, and no info on MDL either. So perhaps I had the date wrong? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Cherry Blossoms After Winter (Korea Viki Fri) Ep 6 - OMG SO CUTE. So awkward. College boyfriends campus couple. SO SOFT. Argh. I’m dead. Also it looks like Korea might serves us a little coming out drama next ep (not normal for them) gonna be interesting to see how they handle it. Delicately, I’d guess. I wonder if HaeBom’s gonna find out and leave, for TaeSung’s own good, and then TaeSung self destructs. That’s how I’d write it with this kind of pairing. 

Blue of Winter AKA Judo Boys (Korea Weds YouTube) Ep 5fin - I don’t know, it was odd, like Strongberry decided to do a pulp? Not terrible but not good either. 3/10 NOT RECOMMENDED, I don’t know what I’m watching and neither does it. 

Blueming (Korea IQIYI Weds or Thurs) Ep 1-11 - it’s ongoing if you want to watch it for free week-by-week, but my FairyBLParent got me VIP so I watched it all at once. I LOVED it. You’ll need to get through the first 5 eps though. YOU CAN DO IT!  Review here. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED 9/10. 

Gossip

Star Hunter’s next Thai BL What Zabb Man (described as a chaotic romance, of course). Got a description: Poon is a hardworking guy who quit school to take care of his little brother after their parents died. He’s struggling to make a food stall work and then one of his customers recruits him as a chef for a hotel. The hotel owner, Tian, turns out to be someone he already hates, but once challenged to cook well, Poon can’t resist. Tian falls in love with Poon's cooking but won’t admit to it. Enemies to lovers commence. 

New Thai BL Buddy Line Y Animal AKA Buddy Line Y(aoi) Animal (seriously?) dropped a trailer. From the same people who brought us The Yearbook and based on 4 y-novels written by Scriper, slated to be released this year. Stars Man & Tile (Yearbook), Oat (Make it Right), and unknowns. 

Taiwanese BL (ish) Papa & Daddy has had a recast for season 2. The actor playing the seme role has been replaced. 

To My Star stars, Son Woo Hyeon & Kim Kang Min are cast together (again) in non-BL Kdrama, The Golden Spoon. So far they have been in Tale of the Nine-Tailed (not BL) and To My Star 1 & 2. 

Spring of Crush AKA Love in Spring (coming soon from Watcha (Light On Me, Semantic Error - we LIKE them). Is rumored to be... wait for it... A FULL LENGTH KDRAMA!!!!! Yes my darlings: 16 episodes at 30 minutes each!!!!!! Stars Yoo Youngjae (formerly K-pop BAP) and Kim Song (from School 2017). This is a historical cross dressing rich/poor romance and I AM SO EXCITED. 

Korea’s Dramatist Studio released location photos of their upcoming BL original Happy Ending Outside The Fence feat Leo (VIXX) and Ha Jung-woo. I guess they are keeping that title. OKAAAAAYYY...  

Korea has picked up Dongmul's A Shoulder to Cry On for adaptation, both leads to be played by idols, and it will be 12 eps. Story features forced outing, pubic shaming, sports, confident gay seme, and enemies to lovers. I’m getting Tharntype + Semantic Error + Light On Me. I’m not mad about this.  

In Case You Missed it

Yes there really is a new Thai GL on the horizon. It has been a LONG time. 

Also, Thailand is bring us some messy queer affirming chaos content Saneha Stories 4. Not much known about it with no MDL listing, but here’s the trailer. And of course, never trust it will actually be made or accessible or LIKE the trailer. I’ve been trying to get ahold of Saneha Stories 3 forever (it’s a trans romance featuring Ohm T, Yoon, and Gun K). So anyway 4 has: 

multiple GLs, 

Nut (Grey Rainbow, Dear Doctor) being hella closeted maybe dating a girl + Plustor + Earth K 

a trans man (played by Tul, yes of MaxTul), 

a trans lesbian character,

a (maybe) poly relationship with BoothNewyear + pregnant lady

an asexual storyline with KaownahTurbo

What we want is, of course, this just as a hella queer Friend Zone, but I think this is probubly a series of short vignettes. It’s looks very very messy and not BL but interesting. The kind of thing GaGa should like. Maybe they’ll pick it up. 

Upcoming Japanese uni BL (live action yaoi adaptation) Mr Unlucky Can Only Kiss! AKA Fukou-kun wa Kiss Suru Shika Nai! starts April 21st. About a boy who is always unlucky, and one who it always lucky, who accidentally start dating. No inter distribution info but it’s from the My Beautiful Man people so... Gaga maybe? 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Star and Sky: Star in My Mind takes over Enchante’s frigay time slot for GMMTV. Star Hunter’s new offering, What Zabb Man! starts Saturday (no inter distribution). And the Cherry Magic movie is releasing (in Japan). 

This week’s best moments?

Cherry Blossoms, this show could not get any cuter. 

Not my favorite of Yoon’s pairs but that was  spectacular confession scene in My Ride. 

Butch Queen of the Universe. Now accepting tribute. 

Sky in La Cuisine = best boy. 

Phai in La Cuisine = best tsundere bestie. Is that a thing? Well, it should be. Just look at him go...

He actually says nong saow to pink-haired girl and Kitty. I cooed with the queer acceptance of it all. 

Look, I don’t like Our Days, but this bit with the boom mic was absolutely hilarious. 

The *gasp* heard ‘round BL fandom. 

BounPrem for the marriage equality shill. 

#this week in bl #BL news #BL updates #BL update #BL episode recap #Thai BL #Korean BL #KBL #K-BL #Kdrama #Japanese BL #live action yaoi #adapted from a manga #GMMTV #gagaoolala #rakutan viki #viki #Blueming #Blue of Winter #Judo Boys #Cherry Blossoms After Winter #The Tuxedo #Miracle of the Teddy Bear #My Secret Love #KinnPorsche #Love Stage!! #Enchante #Enchanté #Cupid's Last Wish #Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Soul

[witch-hazels-musings]

zhongli, albedo, diluc and xiao with an s.o who is clingy, but also is closed off and has a hard time showing affection and just their emotions in general, and also isn’t generally well liked by their peers?

our affection is different

Warning -> SFW 

Character X GN Reader | Anthology 

Includes: Zhongli, Albedo, Diluc

Zhongli

For someone so reserved and universally liked, people find the contrast between his demeanor and your own clashing - while he is pleasant, greeting others with a steady bow, a kind expression, you look uncomfortable to even be there. You avoid all eye contact unless it comes from Zhongli, you turn your head, fiddle with your thumbs if they aren’t already holding onto the fabric of his jacket, and practice short, quick conversations 

Most try not to talk to you for very long - which you don’t mind; small talk isn’t really your thing and it’s hard to connect with others when they are displaying the emotions that you find hard to grasp 

You find comfort in the repetitious actions of your day. The few things that always come up and need attending to, there is no stress there and so you can get it done quickly. Luckily, your profession doesn’t give you many opportunities to communicate with others. You show up, do what you need to, and leave. It’s proficient, the work that you can accomplish so no one complains, other than to suggest you be a bit warmer (a comment which sets your bones on fire). 

The benefit of your personality means that if anyone needs to hear the truth, you are the best person for the job. You state what needs to be said and move on, resolute like the mountain you tell people what you see. It's the way you’ve always been, and the way you always will be. 

There is one person who perpetually seemed to appreciate your honesty, telling you stories and listening to your earnest reaction to them: Zhongli. His patience and interest in you was a shock to everyone, including yourself, and as he started to share his feelings for you - it took you a while to reciprocate them. Though, when you did he felt the happiest man in all of Teyvat. 

It was hard for you to tell him how you felt, to ease his mind that you held feelings for him - so you found yourself getting closer to him. Standing at his side, holding onto his clothes, or resting your hand in his. Placing a hand against his arm - lingering longer than you would with anyone else and at times forgetting that you were doing it in the first place 

He thought it was endearing, the way you hung around him. If he went on a walk, you were sure to be there, if he read a book, you were following close behind, if he was anywhere he knew you’d be there too - at this point, you were a fixture in his life - a fixture he would treasure for all eternity 

Zhongli wandered through the streets of Liyue, a checklist in hand and yours in the other. You had found him earlier in the day and decided to tag along; even though you weren’t sure how much you could help other than carrying a few items for him. He had several things to collect for a funeral ceremony: incense, flowers, tapestries, and the like. It kept his whole afternoon busy, and, even though he was told to keep the expenses to a minimum, he was choosing rather costly options which he explained, “best suited the life which was to be celebrated.” 

When he made it back to the parlor and settled all the items down in their proper place. He assists you with the ones in your hand.

“Your assistance today was invaluable.” He commented, reaching for the items and placing them on the table in front of him. When he finished, he leaned in and placed a kiss against your cheek and admired the way you reacted. Confused, unsure, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. 

“It was nothing …” You mumble, for a person who already had a hard time finding the right words, he had a knack for making that skill fall to the bottom of the ocean. 

It didn’t matter what others thought about you, Zhongli’s opinion was always the most important and he loved you, every day, every night, through all lifetime: he loved you 

Albedo

There isn’t a day that goes by when you aren’t around, whatever is happening in the Knights of Favonius, out in the field, you’re there - ready to go 

Even though most find it hard to talk with you, considering your natural facial expression is off-putting: the way your mouth turns into a frown when it’s at rest, the disinterested eyes and generally bored features as you go about your day - you still seem to offer support in whatever way you can, so they do their best to let you be 

Shifting through the papers in front of you, your jaw moving as you focus gives the impression that you are upset to even be here. Still, you diligently organize the papers where they need to go, jot down notes and requests which still need to be fulfilled. You’ll probably hand those requests to Sucrose when you’re done, she seems to always be okay with your disposition and doesn’t get the wrong impression. 

It’s warm, the summer sun is beating down onto the building and making the rooms get a bit toastier than normal. So, you run your hands over your neck and fan yourself to cool down which gives you a moment to look around. Though there is only one thing that catches your attention, and that’s the Chief Alchemist who is busy with his work in the corner. It’s the only spot he will gravitate back to, and if you could, you’d invade it every chance you could get. 

Instead, to keep yourself together, you sigh and return to the work in front of you. 

You loved Albedo, you had for so long that to be on the receiving end of his attention was stronger than the heat from the sun, more overwhelming than standing in a crowded room, and as rejuvenating as much needed sleep

It was the last thing that you imagined - him falling for you - because most people have a hard time conversing with you, so the fact that he was able to get to know you, the real you, was a miracle 

Albedo never once looked at you with eyes other than compassion and kindness and he seems to know that your intense affections - when they do slip from your grasp - are stronger than the words that seem to come across as unclear 

The day was coming to a close and even though most everyone had left, you stayed in the room. It was some of the only times you could have a moment alone with the alchemist, and since he was bound to continue working late into the evenings, it was the perfect opportunity. 

Setting your items down onto the counter, you moved toward him. His hands moved quickly over the blackboard as he jotted down notes and drew small diagrams. Watching him as he drew was an activity you rather enjoyed, he was unbelievably talented in more ways than one. 

Slowly, you slid your arms around his waist and rested your head on his back. He's short, but you don’t mind, he’s the perfect size to hold for you. You feel his hand move your own, his thumb slipping to rest against the inner side of your wrist. The only sound that fills the room is his scribbles as the chalk scrapes across the board in a steady rhythm. 

He has never once pushed you away. This physical contact that you sometimes drown him in is always welcome, plus it’s gotten better and if it means he can continue to work while you get what you need, he’s onboard. 

You hear him whisper to himself, mouthing out the words he’s just written and thinking out loud what the next steps will be. There is a lull in the movements of his writing, his arm hovers in front of the board and you shift to rest your head on his shoulder to watch what he is doing. When he finally figures out the answer, your head rocks as he continues his notation. 

Diluc

The level of intimidation that seeped from the two of you as you walked through the streets was incredible - people already felt the disinterested and irritated eyes of the bachelor of Mondstadt was enough, but to add yours to the mix - archons … 

Since both of you were naturally closed off, stunted in your ability to show affection, emotion, it was a wonder how you were able to come to terms with your feelings

Diluc started to notice how you were around more than before, how you would offer to help around the winery or the bar, and if it were possible, how you stood right at his side --- you started to notice how his touch lingered, when he thanked you with a pat on the shoulder but kept his hand there, or when he stepped behind you, resting his hand against your back to let you know that he was there and taking his time removing it when he was done

The two of you had it bad, even if you couldn’t see it - the rest of the town did 

You were lost in thought, as you normally were. It had rained recently and the smell still lingered on the stones which passed under your feet. That subtle musky smell mixing with the flowers that climbed the building walls made you feel at home. Mondstadt became your home years ago, even if it took a while for others to accept you and the guards to leave you alone. Especially that Cavalry Captain, he seemed to be the most curious to your arrival but after seeing that your disposition had nothing to do with potential devious actions, he left you be. 

Though, he still seemed to be around since most nights you found him at the bar of Angel’s Share. He explained how entertaining it was to have two unhappy-looking bartenders tend to his whims. His goal was to make you smile, to make you crack, and to see just what type of expression you could make. He’d have to wait a long time because the only person who could flip the corners of your mouth was the red-headed pyro user whose expression was a mirror of your own. 

Citizens spread rumors about the moment under the streetlights where Diluc and Y/N smiled. They make jokes about how the action was so powerful it birthed a thousand stars in the sky. You sigh every time you hear these stories and continue as if it’s not happening. 

Diluc was a private person, and so were you - so it was fortunate that the two of you shared your interest in one another by just being in the same space 

Tied at the hip they would say, tethered by fate

You hated being away from him for longer than a few hours and he couldn’t stand the thought of not being at your side - so, for the most part, that’s where you two always were

It was a busy day, the patrons were more hectic than normal and it was likely due to the new drink Diluc developed a few days earlier. He didn’t expect it to be so popular, especially since it was a non-alcoholic beverage, but the sales spoke for themselves. 

You made your way down the stairs and he tracked you. Placing a cup back on its wrung before turning his attention back to you. The way you dried your hands with your apron as you - with almost an irritated expression, though he knew you better than that - walked up to check on the rowdy party near the back. Luckily, their inebriated states distracted them from the movement of your hand to press the bridge of your nose. You’d been working for hours now and he was sure you were starting to get tired. 

When you made your way behind the bar, you got to work on the drinks and he watched how diligently you worked. Setting the glasses on the counter, pouring the alcohol and mixers, the way the liquid made its way through the ice cubes and changed colors as they combined. You’d picked up this skill so quickly, he found it hard to believe that you had never done this before. 

You dropped the drinks off at the table and returned, jotting down notes on the order sheet before closing it and slipping it inside your apron. Stopping on the other side of him, you leaned against the bar, your hand gripping onto the edge and eyes trailing up to the second floor. 

Words didn’t need to be shared between the two of you. He knew ...you knew, it was the way you communicated and through your glances, your body language, your closeness, nothing was ever left unsaid. He took a few steps toward you and placed his hand over yours. The heat that spread over your skin eased the ache in your legs, relieved the weight on your eyes, and made your chest warm. You closed your eyes, sighed, and smiled slightly. 

As the sounds from the patrons filled the bar, Diluc’s hand covered your own and for as long as time allowed, the two of you took a breath in each other's company. 

--- 

tag list: @star-gods @mercurysmaiden @dourpeep @clemmywrites @pepperoncinipizza @handswritteeen @lucifucker @beelsdessert @odafashioned @coolcats09 @ninqat @musekala @sufzku @mooshymello @heavenlyang @plenilunegazes @glazelilyy @justyoureverydayqueer @idunkar @solowmomo @twokissesforamelia @the-mermaid-of-mondstadt @goat-mama-breezie @angel-melt @lucacandy @shesleire @marianadi @zentoruu @smol-knife @nightlywallows @aoirohi @nitorious-ghost @mguerra11 @anatthesavage @maiiikoo @actstfbla @youaskedfurret @theresapancakes

(check out my pinned post to get added to the tag list*)

#genshin impact #genshin impact X reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact musings #Zhongli X reader #zhongli #genshin zhongli #albedo x reader #albedo #genshin albedo #diluc X reader #genshin diluc #diluc

[cinnamonest]

Since people actually liked it here's the continuation of the modern Xiao camgirl!darling post I cut from the original, as promised, most if it's under a cut. Here’s the original post. I didn’t think people would actually like the camgirl concept so I thought I was rambling too much and cut this part out lol but here it is now!

Tws: derogatory language/female slurs, mentions of reader being a cheater, reader is promiscuous, murder, incel-y mentality (our modern boy would be a 4chan user, look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong) and mentions of upsetting realistic things, this one's darker than the first part. If you're bothered by other modern stuff for being too realistic best avoid this too probably, involuntary pornography ---------- Coming up on one year since you gained your most loyal subscriber, you get a rather... Unsettling request. He has something he would like this month, in fact, he adds a few hundred to the regular amount (he's been saving up just for this) and asks for just the answer to one simple question. What's your name?

Your real name, he clarifies. He doesn't need a last name, nothing like that. It would just... Make him feel closer to you. He avoids using the term "anniversary," even though that's what comes to mind. He also doesn't tell you that he already knows, that this is just a test of your honesty. For someone who's so cautious, you would think you would think to give a fake name whenever you go to coffee shops for them to yell out, or change it on the packages you get. You hesitate. And it would be easy to give him a fake one, yet, you don't really think about it too much, you kinda think about that as an afterthought, what you should have done, but your very real name is typed out and sent before you really process it, and you feel a sort of unease, but it's already sent. No big deal. He can't do much with just your first name, right? If your name is common, you feel pretty safe, but even if it's a rarer one, surely there are other people with it, right? He's happy though. Kinda surprised, really, that you didn't lie to him. Maybe you trust him?

You're not stupid, you know something is wrong, you're becoming paranoid. And you connect the weird feeling to him, bc he goes radio silence for several days leading up to finally taking you. This dude who used to respond to any messages you sent within 10 seconds suddenly... It's like he disappeared? He hasn't responded to anything you send him ever since you said your name. You send him messages saying you haven't heard from him in a while and you're worried... The way you word it makes it sound like you're worried about him, but you both know that's not what you really mean. You're hesitant and suspicious of every guy you meet. You buy pepper spray and start carrying some around, you nearly spray a poor guy who you thought was trailing you, turns out he just lives in your building. He makes note of it. He watched you buy it, and is quick to realize you always hold it in the same hand. That must be your dominant hand, that's an important mental note for the future, since you're more likely to try to attack him with that hand. He'll remember. He has a note in his phone with information like that. Height, weight, birthday, social security number, parents' names, school she graduated from. All in little bullet points. He adds dominant hand to the list. He's not worried at all really. Already watched you struggle to carry packages he could lift with one hand, your strength doesn't cross his mind as a threat. At first he just doesn't know what to say, and that's why he stops responding, he feels too awkward but... He starts to enjoy the weird feeling of power the whole situation is giving him. You're worried, you're constantly paranoid, and it's because of him. Now you finally understand the same feeling you inflict on him, how you consume his thoughts every waking moment of every day. It used to irritate him that you held so much power over him, while he meant nothing to you. Now, the tables have turned. You're forced to have him constantly in your mind, whether you like it or not, just like you are in his. It's giving you what you deserve. It gives him a feeling of significance. He matters, even if it's not in a good way. And he keeps telling himself that once he's all you have, he'll matter even more. He's smart enough to realize that if you're paranoid, you might have mentioned him by username to someone else, so to ensure he knows what to do from this point, he has to sneak into your apartment at night as you sleep. It's so unbearably tempting, you have no idea -- you're right there and so vulnerable. He has to hold himself back because he knows that if he so much as touched you, he couldn't hold back. But it's torture, standing there so close, watching your chest rise and fall as he fiddles with the phone. Even when he unlocks it with your thumb, he tries to hold the phone from an angle to do so, even if the skin of his hand grazes yours, it would be too much. You have a lot of contacts across your messages and a bunch of different apps. You have one guy in your online chat you've exchanged far more messages with than anyone else! Hundreds upon hundreds of messages, and huge paypal cash drops, who the hell is -- oh, wait, that's him. Nevermind. But, to his pleasant surprise, he's the only one of your... customers that you regularly talk to, the rest just have a few paypal notifications or clarifications on your policies, but no actual conversations like you have with him. Of course, that's literally part of your deal, he's literally paying for it, but it makes him happy nonetheless. But as he goes through your personal messages, he finds that you are... in no shortage of options. Like, holy shit. It was kind of expected. You *are* really pretty, that's how you have so many followers after all, but this is a lot. So many contacts named some variation of "DO NOT ANSWER!!!" or "creepy guy that forced me to give him my number at the club", etc etc. Plenty of unsaved numbers texting you to never get a response. You've ghosted enough dudes to make your place haunted. It's... kinda awful, really. It also kinda hurts his heart a bit more than he expected. You have so, so, so many options, even without the cam thing, he's more insignificant than he even realized. ...Well, for now, at least. He'll be significant to you soon enough. And then you seem to have a sort of "boyfriend of the month" deal going on, aside from that. Plenty of male-name contacts whose last exchange is a "don't talk to me again!" message from you, plenty of messages corresponding to the same time as those to your girl friends about how you can't find a good guy and every relationship ends badly. How unfortunate. See, it's because you choose bad guys. You probably go for dicks and not.... well, he can't exactly pull the "nice guys like me" mentality, he doesn't delude himself into thinking he is one. He's lucid enough to realize that most nice guys would not be sneaking into your house and standing over your sleeping body to stalk your phone as they make plans to kidnap you. He knows he would probably fall under the classification of a creepy guy. He's just too far gone to care. Still, he would be so much better to you, he tells himself, not a cheater or a player like you complain about. To say he resents those kinds of guys -- ones that can do the unthinkable and actually talk to girls, let alone successfully, only to be assholes, and yet girls like you still go for them -- is an understatement. You're basically just a slut, you probably ignore all the guys that would be nice to you, just like all those internet forums he reads talk about. Typical.

Well, those forums also make fun of guys like him who pay for girls like you, but he can't blame them. It *is* kinda pathetic. There is one dude you talk to, though, now. Current boyfriend of the month, from the looks of it. You have a little heart emoji next to the name. He knows it's kinda pathetic that something so simple and insignificant sets him off, but it does, makes him pout and grind his teeth and curl his other hand into a fist. It's so unfair. Some dude you barely know gets to fuck you, and you haven't even known him nearly as long as you've known him! He doubts this dude -- hell, any of your boyfriends -- has put in the same amount of money that he has into you. They fuck you practically for free. And that, unfortunately for you, only solidifies his decision. If you're fucking some dude for a month because they buy you dinner every now and then, if we're going by that scale, then you owe him quite a good deal of pussy. Any hesitancy or guilt he had about the whole thing is gone. And he's a little mad. Keeps grumbling to himself that you're just a loose whore, fucking so many people and putting yourself out there on the internet. He wonders if they even know about what you do. Probably not, you probably don't tell them. Yeah, that sounds like what you'd do. Really, you're kinda lucky that someone like him is so willing to commit to you, since you are a slut. You don't deserve it, but he loves you anyway. And you'll probably have the nerve to be ungrateful for it too. Sigh. On the bright side, by some miracle, it would appear that you have not told any real-life people about him, you haven't sent out any hey if I disappear you should probably look into this creep type of messages. But he can't afford to have you doing so in between now and when you move in with him, so, he decides he has to act within the next 24 hours. While he's here, though, he decides to do a quick sweep of your place. Makes note of what snacks and drinks you like, what brand of toothpaste and shampoo and the like you use, so he can buy some for you. Maybe you'll adjust better if you have some of your favorite things. And then, after days of silence, he sends you a message, says it's fine, his internet went out for a few days. He means it to reassure you, but somehow it makes you feel more uneasy. He has everything planned out, or so he thinks. But you deviate from your usual schedule. When you leave work or class, you don't go home, you go somewhere else, first. How strange. Maybe picking up groceries? He follows from a distance. No, looks like you're going out to eat...? Maybe you're meeting friends or family or -- no that's a guy. Fuck. You must have planned this just earlier today, since there were no messages on your phone. It makes a bitter feeling rise in his gut. He hates that he can't get close enough to listen to your conversation. Well, he hates the whole thing, sits there and seethes the whole time. Watches you through the windows in the parking lot, thankfully you chose to sit outside. Feels his eye twitch and his hand clench every time you smile and laugh. It takes way too long. The fact that you split the bill feels like a punch to the stomach too. Shouldn't you be used to taking guys' money? Oh, and what's this...? This guy isn't the picture on boyfriend-of-the-month's contact. Well, well, well. You really are a whore. See, it's a very good thing he's taking you off the market. You're probably a reckless heartbreaker too. He's doing all the other men of the world a favor by taking on such a burden as you. And it makes him feel far more justified in keeping you locked away, since he has every reason to believe, now, that you'd run off and fuck someone else if given the chance. Halfway through, the guy briefly gets up and runs to the bathroom or something. While he's gone, he sees your face fall a bit. And then he sees you look around. You turn your head from one side to the other. Your eyes scan the area. You shuffle uncomfortably and you bite your lip and your eyebrows furrow. You're scared. You feel like -- no, you know you're being watched and it scares you. That makes him a little happy, for some reason. He wouldn't be sure what to do if you went home with the guy, but thankfully you don't. No big deal, this was just a bump in the road, he still beats you back to your building and he still goes through with the original plan. Even better, now that it's even darker outside. If anything, now he's got extra aggression and testosterone in his blood, running over the events in his head and going through some... very forceful and violent fantasies. The message he sent had you uneasy, and it's also how you immediately know what's going on when it does finally happen. You keep telling yourself you're being unnecessarily paranoid, that it's nothing, maybe that guy actually got his life together or got a girlfriend or something. Things like... What you fear, don't happen in real life, that's stuff that only happens in movies and stuff. You keep calling it that or it in your head. That won't happen to you. It's not going to happen. The series of events that play out in your head, scenarios you try to push out of your mind. Sure, in the movies it always takes place in the stairwell, but that's fiction, so you go up the apartment stairwell as always. You're not gonna let a bunch of B-grade old films scare you. And it's always some dude standing and waiting, but that nice young boy that you've never seen before is just leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone, he only glances up for a second as you pass by, he's not a threat, you're being paranoid. You flash a smile and a little wave as you walk by, he doesn't return either, just looks back down at his phone. See? This guy doesn't even care, you're being paranoid for nothing, you tell yourself. But as you make the turn to go up the next set of stairs you hear the click of a phone being put on the lockscreen, a few metallic footsteps ringing out in the open hall and echoing, coming up right behind you, but for that split second you expect a tap on the shoulder, maybe he has a question, it's not like movies, it's not like movies, you're not gonna get a cloth shoved over your face and--- Well, it's not exactly like the movies. You were prepared, but it all happens in one motion - one hand grabs the hand with the spray and twists it, making you drop it, the other wraps some material over your mouth. You were prepared enough that you don't gasp in surprise, you hold your breath and thrash, but it doesn't make any difference, you wiggle and writhe for a few moments but can't even begin to break free, eventually succumb to the lack of oxygen and take a deep breath. It takes a few seconds to settle in, it's not so immediate. You instinctively panic and thrash again, but he has a complete iron grip. The dizziness takes a second to set in. He huffs a bit in frustration and says stop moving, it's fine. It's definitely not, but it occurs to you that that's not something a kidnapper looking for any potential vulnerable girl says. It's a poor attempt at comfort. It's someone specifically looking for you. And if that wasn't enough, he says your name. Your very real name. Maybe it was a mistake to tell him after all. But the worst part of it all is that there's not a single doubt in your mind, even in your panic you have the realization, it's definitely him and this is literally exactly what you were afraid of. And it's the last thing that goes through your head. And once he's got you out cold he just takes a sigh of relief. He may have been very neutral faced to you, but in reality he was incredibly nervous. He hasn't exactly made or used chloroform before, our boy is operating on YouTube tutorials here. He's got adrenaline pumping through his veins and carries you with his arms trembling. He's on autopilot carrying you out, but his mind is also consumed by holy fuck I'm touching her she smells so nice she's so warm her face is so close I'm actually touching her-- you get the idea. He feels bad about taping your hands and feet together and putting you in the trunk of his car, kinda. It feels too much like what a really bad person would do to a girl they didn't care about, like he's a trafficker or a murderer or a criminal or something, but that's not true at all. Sure, he's still mad at you for being a whore and all that, but it feels improper, he just has no choice. It's late at night, but he can't risk getting pulled or being at a stoplight and someone seeing an unconscious girl in his backseat, so, trunk it is. But once he's home, to his tiny little downtown apartment (he'll probably be able to move into a better place soon, since he's not paying you tons of money anymore), he takes a quick check to make sure the coast is clear, and drags you out, up the stairs, all the way into his apartment, sets you down on the bed, where you'll be staying. He even washed the sheets and cleaned the place up a bit for your arrival. You probably would not like to see what this place looked like before the five trash bags worth of cleaning was done. He'll probably be more motivated in the future, though, since now he won't be so depressed all the time. And then the adrenaline of the fear of being seen is over, and that's when it sets in that this is real. It's very, very hard to hold back. You're real, in the flesh, he can reach out and touch you with his hands! It feels like a dream. And he realizes he can take this opportunity to do things he would be far, far too embarrassed to do when you're awake. He takes a few minutes to do just that, cautiously reaches out to poke your face, and then run a hand down your neck, your skin is so soft! Your hair smells so nice, he lays down beside you and runs his fingers over it. Puts hands on your body and just lays there in awe of the fact that you're real. He's pretty certain he's never actually touched a human female before now. Everything about you feels soft. Weirdly feminine, which is something very foreign and confusing to him. And he kinda uh... Loses it. Goes buckwild with just taking in every aspect of you. Again, since you're unconscious he can be gross and entirely shameless about it. Peels your clothes off and runs his hands and mouth over every inch of flesh, takes the tape off your lips and presses his tongue into your limp mouth until he's forced to let go to breathe, fingers you and tonguefucks you and sucks on your nipples and your neck. Lays pressed against you and just breathes in your scent. It takes every ounce of self control he has not to fuck you already. But he does jerk off a few times. That way he'll last longer, so it's a win-win. And then... you twitch. Tape goes back over your mouth. And then, you twitch again. And this time, you make a little "mm!" under the tape, you start trembling and he sees you try to pull your hands apart. You whimper. It sounds scared and distressed. He feels kinda bad, but it also makes him hard, and that outweighs any guilt by far. Besides, it's what you deserve after what you did earlier. You tortured him mentally, it's only fair. On the good side of things, you suppose, you don't have to worry about the usual fears one would have over such a situation - you're fairly certain he's not going to kill you, nor sell you. In fact, the bed you wake up on is pretty soft. You're naked and the tape is uncomfortable, but... At least he was considerate enough to give you a blanket. He does care about you, after all. First thing he says is asking if you're awake. Can you hear me? You hesitate a moment, and then you nod. He's a bit new to this whole abduction thing. He wants to make sure he didn't pull a muscle or something with the tape. So... Do you hurt anywhere? Does your head hurt? Oh, right, the tape. He's not stupid either. You have to promise you're not going to scream. In fact, he's angry enough about earlier that he gets a bit meaner than he originally told himself he'd be. If you scream, I'll make you regret it. Understand? You nod, so he takes it off, holding it close in preparation in case you were lying, but you don't actually answer him, you're silent again for a minute, then just ask a question of your own. You're that guy, right? He's silent for a few seconds, there's no need for any clarification. Finally just says yeah. You just breathe again. Silently. Finally you summon the courage to ask him what he wants with you. And why are you doing this to me? And his answer is fairly simple. What do you think? You don't say anything for a minute, and neither does he. He's not good with words, and you don't really have ones for this situation. It occurs to you that offering to pay him to let you go is probably not the solution. After all, this is the guy that's dumped unimaginable amounts of money onto you, you couldn't even come close to paying him back. You figure maybe, after he gets what he wants... well, you get the courage to ask.  Is there anything... that I can do o-or... anything that will make you... are you gonna let me go, after you....? And the answer is, again, simple, but the one you did not want to hear. No. He's a blunt boy, so he doesn't beat around the bush, but he doesn't torment you by keeping anything from you. In fact, he's already rehearsed this speech a few hundred times in his head. He just wanted to make sure he's very clear so there's no misunderstanding, and while he likes some discomfort in a vengeful sort of way, he doesn't want you to be too freaked out to where you have a panic attack. He says he's just going to... keep you here. He has the things you'll need. He got your purse with your keys, so he'll even run to your apartment after this to go get some of your stuff. You don't need to tell him which number, he adds, he already knows which apartment you're in. He needs you here, he says. And he makes sure to add that it's your fault. If you were never out there selling yourself in the first place, this never would have happened. If you're good, he can make things a bit better for you. But you need to go ahead and accept that you're going to be staying and that no amount of begging or offers is going to convince him to let you go. He can be nice to you, he promises. A better boyfriend than the others. You just have to be a good girlfriend -- you know, obedient and sweet and do what he says. Just like you always were when you talked to him. Just keep being sweet like that and doing the things he tells you to do. You would argue that the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are not appropriate descriptors of the sort of relationship he's creating, but you keep that thought to yourself. Instead, you ask, How long are you going to keep me here? Which is a dumb question, since he's pretty sure he already made that clear. Forever. -----

There's a double homicide in the area. Takes place on the same night, and the same diameter of knife is used, so police believe maybe the two incidents are connected. Especially because they do have something in common, one girl. She was romantically involved with both of them. The girl in question's apartment has been vacated, very suddenly, and the girl has disappeared without a trace, taking things with her from the looks of it, so police believe she may be responsible, but other than that, they have no leads. A few weeks later, a video circulates all over the internet. Some famous camgirl finally started making porn, apparently. Just one video, but the description (which was totally written by her, it has to be since it's written in first person right?) says something about how she decided to quit camming, so this video marks the end of her career. She got into a relationship, so she says in the description, so she has to quit. It's roleplay porn, apparently, she's doing a good job at the acting. All tied up and gagged and getting fucked by some big-dicked guy holding the camera. He's silent, but she's making a ton of noise, cums several times. Really good acting, the fear and desperation in her eyes looks so real. Talk about going out with a bang. It gets a lot of likes. Tons of comments about how sad people are she's quitting. And of course, a lot of comments say, what a lucky guy.

#.camgirl

[shigarakislittlepet]

im so happy to find a blog with good nsfw content for literally all my faves lol we share the same braincell it seems! how about fluffy nsfw headcanons for Dabi, Shigi, Aizawa and Shinsou and well, Baku but I don't want to overwhelm you even if you don't have a character limit hhh, with a s/o that was completely inexperienced in sex before they got together? They grew more comfortable with the idea of sex over time as they used to be really shy about it but they're scared they'll mess up and disappoint their loves? If possible could you mention what kind of approach each boy would have for the first time with their virgin s/o? I'm just feeling some fluffy dick tonite ya know lol stay safe out there <3

Ohhhh my gosh, this whole thing gave me brain rot lmao, thank you for giving me this power <3<3<3

This also took me literal months to finish because life got crazy, so I’m sorry about that. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

TW: loss of virginity, gentelness, fluffy smut, unprotected sex bc I’m a whore (Y/N is on birth control), and as always all characters are adults especially Y/N

-Dabi-

> You are surprised by how patient he is with you. You were sure he’d have gotten tired of waiting, but he didn’t push. He didn’t make you feel badly about it, and the last thing he would ever want to do to sweet little innocent angel is coerce them into something they weren’t ready for. So, he waits.

> It happened so gradually. Over time, light kissing became making out. After a few months, you got more comfortable and it didn’t feel at all odd to fall into bed with him, cuddling and “swapping spit” as he called it, which always made you giggle like a schoolgirl at his crudeness. His hands would test the waters, but he was always feeling for nervous tremors and flinching, never wanting to go further than you were comfortable. At first, he only rested a hand on you lower back, drawing lazy circles into your waist, his other cradling your face gently, reassuringly. Eventually he could get his hand beneath your shirt, still just at your lower back, but he was content with his progress. Your skin was soft and you said he felt warm, and that was the first time he ever thought of his quirk as “sweet, comforting”, as you described the warmth from his hands.

> After a few months went by, he had progressed to the point of being able to freely roam your body with his hands, the warmth helping you stay calm and anchored to him.

> What continued to surprise you is how easy it felt, once you were ready. You didn’t even see it coming. He asked you, so gently, if he could take your shirt off. You told him he could as long as he promised to keep you warm. He went along slowly, constantly reassuring you, “God Angel, you’re so beautiful. I gotta see more of you, can I? Please?”, “You’re so soft, I need to feel more of your skin, angel, please?” You didn’t even hesitate, you didn’t need to. You felt safer with him than you ever had in your life.

> You realized, once you were both naked together, just how comfortable you were with him. And suddenly you felt like you needed to give him everything he ever wanted, and you knew he would do the same for you.

> It happens so slowly, or at least, it feels like it does. His hand slowly grazes down between your bodies until he reaches your core. You gasp, no one but you had ever touched you there, and it feels so foreign and wonderful. And warm. Once you begin bucking onto his fingers, an insatiable grin stretches across his face. He retracts his fingers, bringing them to his lips, and you watch as he sucks them clean. He calls you delicious and rolls on top of you, asks you if you’re ready for him. For the first time, you look down between your bodies and see just how huge and hard he is for you. When he sees your concern he kisses your forehead, then your lips. “I won’t hurt you Angel, I promise.” You nod and smile, and he starts easing into you, stopping every so often when he can tell the stretch is too much. He kisses your cheeks, your shoulders, your lips, whatever he can get his mouth on as he pants and mumbles little praises. “I love you”, “You’re doin’ so well”, “You’re takin’ me sooo well”, “God, you’re so beautiful, you know how beautiful you are Angel?”, “Ahh, you’re so fuckin’ tight and wet for me Angel, you want me that badly?”. The praises and teases help you considerably to keep you relaxed, and fuck, you DO want him. So fucking badly, you need him. When he’s finally seated inside you fully, he waits, clearly using every last bit of his restraint and self control to give you time to adjust. When you finally whine and buck your hips up on him, he loses it. “I hope you’re fuckin’ ready, Angel.”

>You find rather quickly that Dabi’s style is a beautiful mix of “fucking” and “making love”. He fucks you, hard and deep, so much so that it makes you see stars, but while he does it he’s caging you in-between his arms, holding you close while he pistons in and out of you. He looks you in the eyes, watching your reactions, quickly finding what angle makes you convulse and let out those beautiful moans and coos that he’s now desperate to hear.

>When he nears his end, he reaches down between you again to rub sweet circles against your clit, because no way is Dabi cumming first. It’s just not his style.

-Shigaraki-

>BRAIN ROT

> Shigaraki is definitely happy that you’re inexperienced, he’d kill anyone who had ever laid a hand on you before him. You belonged to him.

> It also means that you’re a virgin, which really gets him going because hes a pervert. ((He’s also secretly glad that he’s not the only virgin))

> He is touch starvvveeeeddddddd. We all know this. But at first, he’s so hesitant to touch you, for fear of destroying you.

> You are patient with each other, and together you find out what works and what doesn’t. He got some artist gloves so he could hold your fucking hand without hyperventilating about dusting you. He’s still afraid of you disappearing beneath his fingertips.

> You were never, not even for a second, worried that he would hurt you. You knew that he could, that he had the ability, but you knew that he wouldn’t.

> He wasn’t so sure, he was afraid of rolling over in the night and finding a pile of dust where you used to be. He wakes up from nightmares about it and has to wake you up to hold you while he shakes uncontrollably. He just has to know you’re alive.

> You both get more and more comfortable with physical proximity and contact together, because you both wanted it, you were both just so worried about fucking everything up.

> When the time came where both of you decided you were ready to have sex, you admitted to him that you were afraid of not measuring up to his expectations. All these “what if’s” kept popping up in your mind: “what if he doesn’t find my body attractive enough”, “what if I don’t know how to move right”, “what if I cant please him”, etc. etc. etc.

> He just looks at you kind of taken aback and confused. He was worried about you not being able to see him as sexually attractive because of how he looked, he was just as self-conscious as you. “Darling, you’re the most perfect person in existence, how can you not see that? Look at me! I’m... I... Look like this! How could I ever hope that someone as beautiful as you could ever see me that way?”

>You didn’t immediately know how to respond. You were... heartbroken that he saw himself that way. You couldn’t image him being self-conscious about anything because in your eyes, he was a god. He was perfect and angelic and you told him as much. You looked at him with such adorably big eyes and your voice was full of so much honesty and adoration, he had to have you immediately. He’d never felt desired, he had never felt lovable. He always thought it would be a miracle if anyone would ever be able to even stomach looking at him without cringing away in disgust. But you were so perfect and you loved him so immediately and so much that it knocked him out. He launches himself at you and just kisses you for a while.

> You both fumbled around a bit at first, trying to find what felt best. You both quickly came to the conclusion that you were going to have to practice together. A lot. As much as possible actually, because even in your inexperience, you both felt more amazing than you ever had in your lives. When you were connected like this, panting, kissing, licking, trying your damndest to become one being, it felt like bliss. You never wanted it to stop.

-Aizawa-

> MORE FUCKING BRAIN ROT

> Aizawa has an innocence kink. There I fucking said it.

> When it comes to the person he’s with, he’s a shameless flirt, and while he would NEVER cross a line or pressure you, he definitely does his best to get you in the mood whenever he can, much to your naïve frustration.

> At first you genuinely don’t even realize he’s doing it on purpose. The heated looks he gave you that made your knees weak? You didn’t think he was doing that on purpose, it’s just because he’s... tired? And he always looks so gorgeous, so that’s why. He ALWAYS makes your knees weak. Yeah that’s all it is, obviously.

> And when he comes up behind you, hands on your hips gently, and lowly rumbling in your ear. Sometimes it’s just comments about whatever you’re doing, which was bad enough. But sometimes it was mumbled compliments. About your outfit, how good it made your ass look. About how soft your hair was, how good you smelled, the softness of your skin while he gently rubbed his stubble against your neck.

>YOU COULDN’T FUCKING HANDLE IT.

> He was so soft most of the time, cuddling you while watching movies, cooking together, dancing in the kitchen with you at 3 in the morning after he finished grading papers. The shift that happened when he would get flirtatious was dizzying.

> You were nervous though, Aizawa was a bit older than you, and obviously way more experienced that you. One night while you were curled up in bed together, you told him you were nervous about disappointing him when the time finally came. He sat up and turned a light on immediately and pulled you into his lap. He held you and stroked your hair and told you how much you meant to him, how you could never disappoint him, how much he wanted you, and how he was willing to wait however long you needed. He held you until he was sure you felt better about it, and then he held you until he was sure you were asleep. You were the most important person in the world to him, and he wasn’t gonna let you think anything was ever gonna change that.

> When you finally got tired of his teasing and felt like you were ready, you decided to get him back. Before he got home, you put on one of his long shirts as a dress and started getting dinner ready.

> When he walked through the door and saw that you were wearing nothing but one of his black button ups, he had to maintain every ounce of his self control to contain the rush of feral need that suddenly consumed him. Now it was HIS turn to assume you were being innocent. And man did you play it up. “What’s wrong Shota? Are you feeling okay?” And you bat your big beautiful eyes at him. He was going to have a stroke.

> It wasn’t until you bent over and he noticed you weren’t wearing anything under his shirt that he realized it was an invitation. He came up behind you, caging you in against the counter, and growled lowly in your ear, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?” He gently pushed his growing erection against your ass, making you gasp. Score.

> “W-what do you mean?” you looked up at him as innocently as you could. He took your hand and pressed it to the front of his pants. He groaned low in his chest, thankful for any friction. “Don’t play dumb with me, kitten. You know exactly what you’re doing. I think you should take responsibility.” You grinned.

> “Yes Sir,” he jolts at that, and you sink your knees and get to work undoing the fastenings on his hero costume. When his cock springs free, you eagerly give it kitten licks until he’s had enough. He grips you by your hair and gently guides your mouth down onto his cock. He’s big, bigger than you can take, but that doesn’t stop Aizawa from purposefully making you gag on him every so often. He really does get off on how innocent you are, the tears that hang in your eyes from gagging on his cock. He’s gonna cum soon if he’s not careful.

> After he’s had his fun making you suck him off, he pulls you up and carries you off to bed. No way he’s taking your virginity on the floor, he’s too much of a gentleman. And dinner, what dinner? Thank god nothing happened to be on the stove or in the oven.

> He sets you down in bed and kisses you, takes his shirt off of you and finishes ridding himself of his hero costume. He takes pride in getting you ready for him, relishing in your sweet noises and how wet you are for him. A fact that he teases you about. “S-Shotaaa~” you moan and clench down on his fingers. He smirks, “What happened to ‘Sir’, hmm? I liked that, you know...” All you can do is whine up at him in response.

> When you feel like you’re close to cumming, you whine louder and clench down harder and before you can reach your peak, he stops. You whine in frustration before he leans down and rumbles, “Oh no, kitten, the only way you’re cumming is if you cum on my cock.” You gasp and nearly convulse at his filthy words, but you’ve never felt like you needed him more.

> He fucks you gently, at first anyway. For as long as he can. He rolls his hips into you and angles his thrusts expertly, aiming for that spot inside you that’ll make your head spin. And he hits it. Every time. And your head DOES spin. And soon you can feel the pressure build again and you start whining again, “Sh-Shouta, please! I’m s-oh! So close!” He smiles, and decides to take pity on you. He pistons harder, faster, brings a hand to your core to rub circles against your clit and when you cum, you scream his name and he can’t take it anymore. He slams into you, chasing his own high and simultaneously extends yours. You’re seeing stars by the time he cums deep into you. He rolls over, bringing you with him. You lie on top of him and he strokes your hair, and you just hold each other for a while.

-Shinso-

> I wanna say this now, Shinso is Aizawa Jr. I’m so sorry, but its true. They’re both tired, overworked, cat lovers that just wanna come home and cuddle and pass out.

> He knows he’s your first boyfriend. You met at UA and pretty much bonded immediately. Now that you’re both pro-heros working for the same agency? It was only a matter of time before he made a move. And thank whatever higher power exists that you have the same schedule. More time for cuddles.

> HOWEVER! Don’t let the fact that he’s a cuddle-bug fool you. He frequently has to remember that you’re a virgin and you’ve never been in a relationship before, so you have no idea how much he’s affected by you answering your door on a Saturday morning you both had off wearing one of his hoodies that absolutely swallows you. Looking up at him smiling and yawning sleepily, rubbing one of your eyes and groggily asking, “What are you doing here so early? I thought we weren’t going out till tonight?”. He has to breathe deeply to stop himself from jumping you.

> Because much like Aizawa, seeing you so sleepy and soft and small and knowing how innocent and naive you are to all of the things you do that make him need you... is going to make him lose his mind. Quickly.

> Instead of an innocence kink though, this motherfucker has a corruption and a mind break kink. He wants to make it impossible for you to feel pleasure without him, he wants to make you need him desperately, forever. And he wants to do it without the help of his quirk. But that would all come in time, at the moment he has to stop himself from cumming in his pants because you’re bending over on your way to your room so you can change, stooping to pet your cat and his hoodie rode up your ass and he can see your lacy black panties and you were GOING to drive him insane long before he ever got the chance to make you his, he was sure.

> He had brought you coffee and suggested you just stay in all day since you both had such a late night. Watching movies and stuff. You know, normal stuff. He told himself he wasn’t going to try and make a move. Right? Right.

> But when you emerged from your room 45 minutes later, showered and changed, your hair still damp and a droplet of water drifting down your neck and landing in the dip of your collar bones, all he could think of was licking it up. How good your hair must smell, how your skin was still probably warm form the water... He was staring, and you pretended not to notice.

> You were nervous about not measuring up to his expectations. You’d seen the women he usually went out with, and how comfortable they were with their bodies and their sexuality. How beautiful they were. As far as you were concerned, you were nothing like them.

> He could see the gears turning in your head and the downturn of your mouth, and he asked you what was wrong. He motioned for you to come sit with him, and it wasn’t five seconds before he pulled you into his lap. After some coaxing, you let him know what you were worried about. He assured you that the reason he was so happy with you is because you weren’t anything like the women he had dated before. Because, not only were you far more beautiful than they were, they had also been conceited and cold, only dating him because he was an up and coming pro-hero that could get them into events so they could dump him for the first bigger hero they’d meet. He liked that you were soft and warm and he could trust you, that you had always trusted him, even despite his quirk.

> You talked for awhile, and as the morning sun drifted higher into the sky, you decided it was time to door dash some food. While he ordered it, you excused yourself the restroom. You needed to think. The heaviness of the conversation still weighed on you, and you’d never felt closer to him than you did now. It was time, you were sure. You wanted to give him everything he’d been waiting so patiently for, he deserved it. And so did you damnit, no more of this scaredy-cat bullshit! You gave yourself your best war face in the mirror before you exited the bathroom and going back to the living room where Shinsou was reclined on your couch. Head tilted back, resting on the pillow behind him.

> He was so beautiful. Lavender hair a wild mess, eyes closed and lashes fluttering softly. You wanted to kiss his neck suddenly, and unlike when urges like this usually happened, you didn’t shove the thought away. You quickly straddled him and, before he had the chance to question you, you began kissing up and down his neck softly. “K-kitty...” he groaned beneath you, gripping your waist, his hips jerking up against yours.

> After a while of your explorative kissing, he growled impatiently and flipped you over easily, pressing you into the couch. He kissed you like he might die if he didn’t, deep and slow and desperate. When he finally broke for air and looked at you, he felt his heart and his dick jump. Your flushed face and your eyes that were looking up at him through your eyelashes heavily, your mouth hanging open gasping and your kiss bitten lips, your brows softly cinched at the effort it took for you to remember you needed to breathe.

> He asks you if you’re sure you were ready, and when you nod dazedly up at him he doesn’t need any more convincing.

> He takes his time, he’s slow and methodical. He wants your first time to be an enjoyable experience. Something you can look back on fondly and remember how much he loved you, how good it felt, how comfortable you were. He wanted it to be better than his first time, drunk after a hero convention, with some woman who didn’t remember his name in the morning and never called him back. He pushed the thought away. He focused on you, on how perfect you were.

> When he finally thrusts into you, you think you want to feel like this forever. You tell him so, and beams with pride, pushing your pleasure further. Kissing your neck and praising you. Telling you how perfect you are, telling you all the things you do that drive him crazy, telling you that he’s never going to let you go, that you’re his forever and he’s yours.

> You cum together, and you think that everything in the world must have always been this beautiful. You spend the rest of the day cuddling, eating, and making love.

-Bakugo-

> No thoughts in this mans head. None. At least when it comes to romance. When you first start dating, you had to make the first move cause his oblivious ass just thought you were challenging him. You had to explain to him that what you were actually doing was called “flirting”.

> So when it comes to your first time, you know you’re gonna have to make the first move there too. He fears rejection, so he avoids the things he really wants the most. Which in this case is you whining on his dick.

> But he also knows you’re a virgin and he doesn’t wanna scare you, so he leaves it be. Trusting his fist to get the job done when he really needs to let off some steam. Either by punching shit or jerking off.

> One day, you do catch him jerking off, and you immediately start to (stupidly) think that you’re not enough for him, that he might leave you for someone who can give him what he needs. You don’t think he notices you having a mini panic attack in the hallway so you sneak back to the kitchen to catch your breath and think. Why HAD you waited this long? What were you waiting FOR? You guessed you had just been worried about not knowing what to do, about him getting impatient and annoyed with you for your lack of experience.

> Making your final decision, you square your shoulders and march yourself back to your shared room. You confidently open the door to find him ... waiting for you?

> “Tch, took you long enough. You done freakin’ out now?” He grumbles from his spot on the bed. You nod meekly and he opens his arms for you, an invitation you gratefully accept. He pets your head and continues grumbling, “ just as bad as shitty-hair, nobody ever knocks anymore. You shouldn’t be surprised when you just try to walk in like that...”

> He keeps petting your head until eventually you hit him with it. “‘Tsuki, I wanna... uhm...” you look up at him with pleading eyes hoping his quirk somehow suddenly allows him to read your mind.

> It doesn’t. “ You wanna what? C’mon, spit it out.” No thoughts, remember?

> You huff and blush and finally squeak out, “Wanna make you feel good, ‘Tsuki...”

> His brain stops working momentarily. When he catches back up, he smirks. “Seriously? It just took you gettin’ jealous over my left hand for you to be ready?”, he teased. You stick out your tongue and he grabs your jaw, looks you dead in the eyes when he says, “I have something much more important for that cute little mouth to do.”

> Your eyes go wide at his suggestion, even though it really doesn’t surprise you. When Katsuki wants something he wants to go all out, no half-assing it. You nod nervously and he laughs at your apprehension, allowing you to shift down his body until you were face to face with his fly. You undid the button and zipper with shaky hands, and gently guide his dick out of his jeans.

> Beautiful is the first word to come to your mind. Beautiful and massive, just like the rest of him. He was easily over six feet tall, and built too so it really shouldn’t have surprised you, but it did. For a moment all you can do is look up at him from your place below him, your big strong hero. You melt a little and you notice him smirking down at you again, “What ‘ya lookin’ at, princess?”. He gently strokes your cheek while you admire him, “You.” you reply dazedly. His smirk widens to a bear malicious grin, “Me? How come?”. A feeling you’re not totally familiar with, but you’re pretty sure is called submission, fills you suddenly and you feel warm and content. “You’re perfect,” you bat your eyelashes and bite your lip as you gently start to stroke your hand up and down his length.

>He controls his breathing, because he really can’t handle you looking so cute with his cock that close to your pretty little face. “‘Tch, and? What’s got you so worked up about it?” You giggle and nuzzle your face into the base of his cock and look up at him innocently. “I’m just glad I’m yours,” you smile and lick him from base to tip before gently taking him into your mouth. You’d read enough smut online to at least have some idea how to do this.

> He almost cums when you say that you’re glad to be his. His, he grins. He doesn’t get to think about that for too long though because your warm, wet tongue is sliding up his shaft and then your pretty little mouth engulfs him and he thinks he might hyperventilate if you keep looking up at him like that. He’d almost say it wasn’t fair, but then you start moving and he thinks that he could actually die happily from the warm bliss that fills him while he watches you try to take more and more of him down your throat.

> This is much more fun than you thought it would be, especially because Katsuki keeps letting out those little sighs and groans, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. You hollow out your cheeks and suck a bit harder before taking a deep breath and relaxing your throat as much as possible. You lower yourself down as far as you can, pushing past the ring of muscle in the back of your throat before moving down further. You feel him lay his hand gently, encouragingly, on the back of your head. You’re surprised when you find your nose nestled in the light blonde fuzz at the base of him and you stick your tongue out to lap at the underside.

> He jolts when you begin your descent. You’re not really gonna try to deep-throat him, are you? He watches you, mesmerized. No ones ever even tried, always saying he was way too big. It felt way too good. He laid a hand on the back of your head to ground himself, quickly realizing he had to control himself so that he didn’t clench his fist in your hair or shove you down all the way and hold you there. When you reached your goal, he sighed. Your throat felt perfect wrapped around him, just like he knew it would. When he felt your tongue sneak out of your mouth and lick, he thanked whatever creator there was that your tongue was long enough to reach his anchor. when you start to move your head up and down, he can only take it for so long before he’s thrusting up into your mouth. When you gag on him, that’s it, he has to pull you off him before he grips your head and suffocates you on his cock.

> He’s nearly at the point of begging, but thankfully, mercifully, you seem to get the idea. You wipe your mouth and lie back on the bed, giggling at his abruptness and he growls in response. He kisses you, and praises you, telling you how good you are, how much he needs to be inside you as he undresses you. You’re surprised at how automatically your legs open for him, and you tell him how much you need him inside of you as well. You feel so empty all of a sudden. Until one of his thick fingers finds your molten core and gathers some of your slick before sinking into you and you gasp.

> He continues to kiss and praise you as he works you with his fingers. You whine and moan and beg, it’s like music to his ears. When he thinks you’re ready, he lines himself up with your entrance, sliding up and down, grinding against your clit briefly before continuing. “I wanna hear you beg for it, princess.” and fuck, did you beg. A beautiful litany of filthy fucking words fell from your mouth, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He sinks into you fully in one thrust, gripping your open legs for stability.

> At first you can’t speak, you can’t make any noise at all. You feel so unbelievably full, and you look up at him and his eyes are clenched shut and his jaw is set. He’s holding himself back. He’s trying to be gentle with you because it’s your first time. He really is very sweet when he wants to be. You raise a shaky hand to his face and he leans into it. He met your eyes and you watch as his control falters when he sees you bent in half like this. You smile, “Katsuki, please”, is all you can say. It seems to open the flood gates. For all his self control, he pounds into you mercilessly and it fills you with the most intense feeling of ecstasy. “F-fuck ‘Tsuki, you feel s-so fucking good,” you moan and gasp brokenly.

> He cums hard. Grunting, growling, and near snarling the whole way through. You’re seeing stars, even though you haven’t cum. It had felt so fucking amazing, and you’re more than content with that. Katsuki is definitely not however, and is intent on eating you out until you beg for mercy. He always takes such good care of you.

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