He breathed in, and he breathed out, and he felt how that breath mingled with the air around him. It landed on the feathery leaves of the pitcher plants and they curled around it, pulling it in.
couldn't get this imagery out of my head after finishing Padawan by Kiersten White. it was such a satisfying moment built up to in all the throes and worries that run through the core of the novel. 💞
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hunting palismen ending storyboards you will always be dear to me. it always makes me feel something so soft and forlorn. that lil smile? the gentleness of it all, even as it fades into something more pensive?
the cradling of flapjack's staff, the ease already at his presence; tinged with fear and hesitance, but the comfort still there. to finally have something that is freely given, that doesn't have to be continually earned. to have a friend that chose you, even where you are now, even at your most contrasted against the story? to be chosen. not destined, or fated for something, but chosen, freely, wildly, as in i am here, with you, of my own volition. i am yours above all else - i choose you.
no wonder he wasn't expecting that, no wonder he immediately held it close, and then at a wide distance. what do you do in the face of a feeling you have never felt, never really truly believed you'd earned before? you hold it as close as you can. you dream of one day earning it. you push it as far as you can, because you know, you know - it is a day that will never come.
and then it does, it does, it does.
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Do you guys ever think about how much Klavier Gavin loses over the course of AA4?
-- Hella spoilers for Apollo Justice (AA4). Go play it, it's a masterpiece. --
Where is Klavier during 4-1? Probably preparing for a show, knowing him. How does he learn about what happens to his brother? Who tells him? Not Kristoph, he's already been taken away. Is it his family? Is it Daryan? Or does he find out from the paparazzi after his set is done, all shouting at him "Klavier! Klavier, do you have a statement on your brother's arrest?"
I wonder what happens in the in-between. Does he go to Kristoph, demanding the "what happened" and the "why did you do it"? Does he get anything? Or does Kristoph just stare back and give him vague explanations that mean nothing in the grand scheme of it all? Does Klavier beg for the answers he doesn't get? Does he cry? Does Kristoph just stare back, knowing that eventually Klavier will give up like he always does?
Klavier is so flashy in 4-2. I wonder if it's a front. I wonder if it's the hasty bandage wrapped over the aching, still-bleeding wound. After all, he's up against the same defense attorney that got Kristoph arrested. And that attorney is good at what he does. In a way, that's its own loss. It means that Kristoph's arrest wasn't a mistake. There's no way that Justice screwed up. Kristoph killed a man in cold blood, with almost no motive. And Klavier is just expected to move on. His brother is a monster. Move on.
I'm almost certain he starts confiding in Daryan in the in-between. "I dont know what to do." "He wouldn't talk to me." "I need to cut my hair now." "I can't look at myself." "He was arrested, Daryan. He killed someone, Daryan." "I look like him!" "I don't know him at all anymore!" "What do I do? What do I do?!" "I hate seeing him when I look at myself." "I miss him." "I look just like him!!" over and over and over. It's him putting his head in his hands, desperate to block out the vision. It's the "C'mon, Klav, we've got a show soon," as Daryan carefully turns him away from the dressing room mirror.
So what happens in 4-3, when Klavier starts to piece together the case? What happens to Klavier when he realizes, in time with Justice, that the shoulder he'd replaced his brother with did the same thing? What happens as Klavier watches Daryan break down on the witness stand? What happens as Klavier watches him get led away in handcuffs? What happens now that Klavier is completely, utterly alone? He can't confide in his murderer brother. He can't confide in his murderer bandmate. Who else does he even have?
…Justice? Apollo Justice, the man who got them both arrested? The man who pulled every little secret from the cases, who pointed the blame to them? Apollo Justice, the one that remains at the end of the trial, when the dust settles? The one who looks so proud of himself as he tears apart every person Klavier loves?
He can't take it. He can't take any of it. He hates the way he looks at himself in the mirror every morning, shaking off the sudden twinge of fear that he looks too much like his brother. He takes up smoking again, something he hadn't touched since turning the Gavineers into a serious endeavor. But the Gavineers don't matter much now, do they? He stops trying to get answers out of Kristoph. He does his best to not think about Daryan. He just wants to be left alone. He just wants to put his pieces back together. He can't get himself to pick up his guitars-- he nearly considers getting the ones in his office shipped off to a storage facility. Instead, he covers the case with bedsheets like he's a child again, and he starts safety-pinning newspaper clippings and red string to it. Maybe if he does enough digging, he'll be able to find out why Kristoph did what he did. Maybe, if he tries hard enough, he can shove the right evidence in Kristoph's face. Maybe, if he just does more, he'll be able to talk to his brother again.
It consumes him. He talks to no one. He barely goes home-- instead, he stays up for days at a time and collapses in his chair when his body succumbs to the exhaustion. He lives almost entirely off of coffee and cigarettes and whatever snacks are in the prosecutors' office break room. He looks awful. He feels awful. He stops making progress after a certain point, just falling into this awful, awful spiral of hatred and guilt and shame.
And it's nearly a miracle when Phoenix Wright comes to his office, asking him to help test a new trial system. He accepts without a second thought, not even bothering to check what case it was.
Oh, 4-4. Oh, when Klavier realizes with mounting horror what he's gotten himself into. When Klavier figures out that not only is his brother a murderer, he's a serial murderer. Kristoph has a seemingly never-ending web of lies, plots, schemes, and the like. And there's Apollo Justice, and himself, working in awful tandem to tear it all apart. Justice doesn't even realize that he's pulling Klavier apart at the same time, does he?
Klavier keeps looking at Kristoph, begging for any kind of retort. Any truth that can cut down Justice's line of logic. That retort doesn't come. The family closet's been full and shut for a long time, and now suddenly it's all being pulled out to the tune of "Objection!"
It's sick. It's an awful nightmare. He's not waking up from it.
Klavier is stronger than a lot of people give him credit for. But he's not strong enough for all this.
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