#and its making me lose my GODDAMN mind

[kafkasmjjw]

this scene quite literally changed my life i don't know where id be without it

#strangers from hell #mjjw #seo moonjo #yoon jongwoo #sfh #moonjo x jongwoo #nothing will ever make me feel the way this scene does #how its drenched in blues #and blue is the colour that consistently symbolised moonjos presence throughout the show #his ability to camouflage with his surroundings so we dont really know if he was there #(i like to think he was) #THE OST #moonjo's “jagiya” (which literally translates to myself) right after the shift between their faces.... #i am losing my goddamn mind #new neural passages were opened in my brain watching this scene #the nod of approval and the SMILE #the way he left the scene as if hes giving jongwoo his self back when hes ingrained himself so deeply into him #i am making Zero Sense

[youngpettyqueen]

there is something very sad about Peg just wanting to tell BJ about her day to day life, the mundane things in the house that need to be fixed and the funny things that happen to her, all things he would've enjoyed hearing about or would've handled with her if he'd been there, and having absolutely no idea what effect these letters actually have on him

#mash #peg hunnicutt #bj hunnicutt #hi I need to be in my feelings about the Hunnicutts #because I keep seeing posts about Peg's letters acting like she's deliberately setting him off somehow and they annoy me #she is literally just describing her day to day life she is filling pages with mundane chores and tasks and encounters #telling him every little thing that happens that made her laugh #because she loves him and misses him #and she wants him to know everything that's happening while he's away #she has absolutely no idea that BJ loses his goddamn mind over some of these #how would she know how he gets over the gutters? the kitchen flooding? #those are day to day things that just happen #all she's doing is rambling on in letters because she has to tell him every little thing every day because she loves him #she's writing these things thinking he'll just smile maybe have a laugh #because thats what he would've done when he was home with her #and thats why its so sad #she doesn't know these things dont make him smile #she doesnt know how much he's changing #she doesnt know how much he's already changed

[ruthlesslistener]

Me: hmm well I'm kinda fading out of hyperfixation with D2 back to casual interest but I'm still super invested in this one fic author's ocs, lemme just open this Transformers/Destiny 2 crossover that they did for the hunter in their fireteam so I have something to read during lunch and then I can hop on those Hollow Knight longfics I've been saving for break-

Me 56 chapters later, a goddamn mess:

#its 'seeker' by keltoi and i'm a goddamn DISASTER RN. #i'm a MESS im STUNNED i have NO WORDS i have EYESTRAIN #what the fuck dude this is a wholeass scifi story on its own. wjat rhe fuckkk #yes its nearly 500k words yes I forgot to check that before I read but like. GOD. HELLO???? #LOSING MY MIND ITS ONLY GOT LIKE 1 COMMENT PER CHAPTER ON AVERAGE(yes ive been commenting shhh #) #I AM ON THE FLOOR #this person whipped out an oc tragedy story that honest to god makes me both want to try to do sometjing similar in my writing #but i habe no idea how to do tht #what the fuuuck dude #i would die for khiri/kharad #-tan

[soapsbaby]

the way one of my kinktober prompts was "Shower sex - Johnny MacTavish" and the irony only dawned on me right now.

Like. Using Soap in the shower?!

#kinktober is making me lose my goddamn mind already and its barely september #ari talks #cod soap

[theimpossiblescheme]

Say what you will about the Cyrano movie (and one day I'll be able to in a halfway articulate manner), but I am still mildly obsessed with "Every Letter", and I think about this ending couplet all the time...

Your letters are drawings on me from above I know who you are and I know you are loved

Just... the idea of Cyrano and Christian receiving a letter in return from Roxanne and feeling their breath catch both with ecstasy and with bitter regret.

I know who you are...

But she can't. But she mustn't. But it would break her heart--she would never trust them again. But it wouldn't be fair to Christian. But Cyrano could never show his face again. But they already feel themselves burn under her gaze, and to meet it honestly without the armor of a soldier, of these letters, would scorch them until nothing remains. But the only true honor is to hide, even if they know it's really the coward's way out. But the only safety (if they were being brutally honest with themselves) is to hide.

... and I know you are loved.

But God, they wish they didn't have to.

#It's four thirty in the morning and I have been slam-dunked back into Cyrano Hell... #Listen okay ever since the movie introduced the idea of *Roxanne actually writing back* I have been even less normal about these idiots. #The imagery is so fucking delicious either way because you get to imagine either the two of them sitting close enough together #that they can both read either together or over the other's shoulder and just... occupying that space together the two nearly becoming one #and I get to lose my mind over the proximity and the warmth between them forged in the fire of their love for Roxanne. #OR *or or*... the two of them taking turns reading and just *watching* the other's face as they read trying to glean from their expressions #what she might have said and the intensity of that study becoming its own terrible intimacy that right now they can only show through proxy #and I *also* get to lose my mind over Cyrano watching Christian and musing that even if his partner might look like a marble statue #he's never seen a marble statue make that face before but he's *definitely* seen it from Roxanne and it's just as coronary-inducing on both #and Christian watching Cyrano and musing that this might be the closest he'll ever come to seeing the pride of the cadets #and the mythic figure he's built around himself completely *shatter* if only for a moment... he's *human* and he's *exquisite.* #CANNOT be normal about it... it's 'So--here's my heart under your velvet now'-- #it's 'I've loved but one (man) in my life and now I must lose him twice'-- #it's the darkness of the balcony and the endless sunshine metaphors regarding Roxanne herself-- #it's the goddamn Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and how much Roxanne *craves* it from two men terrified to submit to it... #God these three make me sick I love them so much. #cyrano de bergerac

[eligobrrrrr]

Nine people you'd like to know better!

Thank you for the tag both @bard-coded and @tashas-cauldron-of-magic-soup !! It's always so fun seeing the answers change when I do this stuff

last song: The only thing they fear is you from Doom (I was, pretty mich listening to Thurak's playlist)

favourite colour: I like blues and yellows, but like an orangey-yellow, that's actually a colour pallette that keeps popping up on my character designs

currently watching: Tbh I think nothing(?) because I barely see series anymore, but I am reading something, that being The legend of Drizzt Do'urden - The Starlight Enclave (because Im obsessively searching for lore about Callidae)

sweet/savoury/spicy: Savoury 100%, I love cheese and pasta with mushrooms, second place would go to sweet probably (?) but with a limit, third place goes to spicy, it's not that I dislike it I'm just not used to eating spicy things

relationship status: Single 👍

current obsession: OC's, not only mine but other people's too, like, it is unreal how much I'm just having everyone's characters spinning in my head at the moment, I am looking at everyone's pretty OC's like this

If I had to say some main ones at least from my own it would be Davhomin and Thurak, but tbh at least I'm always obsessed with Davhomin, I can't leave my dearest boy die, he was my first d&d character and therefore holds a very special place in my heart

Wish I could have finished Curse of Strahd with him

(I am also working on a new character, Enoch, whom I've posted some concept art already I believe)

last thing you googled: Pretty sure it was a [companion] approves template because I want to do those with my children, have I found it? Not yet

Anyways thank you! I'm not sure If I have 9 people to tag but I'll try my best! @yeshihellodani @web-spinning @mothusingtheinternet @becfromthedead @inkspillsss

#Spotify #nine people tag #eligoramble #tag game #Cris if you looking at the tags #Yes this includes Kazimir and Angel and the new ones that I don't remember their name atm #That half drow paladin is so goddamn pretty #Why are drow so ñretty its going to make me lose my mind

[andi-o-geyser]

I’m so sorry but I think that the funniest thing they did in Top Gun Maverick was the fact that to try to beat the “Top Gun is really fucking gay” allegations they paired Mav up with a different woman this time but in doing so accidentally validated an entirely new gay ship. It’s like. Hey. Lean in real close. Hey. Mav’s got a new girlfriend this time and they’re exes with a fraught past but over the course of the movie make up and get back together, isn’t that so romantic? And then five feet away from all that shit Rooster and Hangman are just straight up saying they have an history with each other and they hold an intense rivalry before they eventually get over their differences and become friends and all the while Rooster is telling Hangman he looks good for the fiftieth fucking time that day and they keep playing romantic songs to piss each other off. The most hilarious thing is that the writers constantly use Maverick’s romances from both movies and basically parallel the only straight relationships with Rooster and Hangman’s relationship, and it’s like? Is this intentional? Is there something you want to tell us?? Because those two have STRONG hostile ex boyfriend energy if i’ve ever seen it, and if the writers want to convince me they’re straight they have another thing coming. If parallels with the only romance on screen then why no canon ex boyfriends. If parallels with both couples from both movies then why no gay. Hmm. Riddle me that Tom Cruise 

#tom pls take a break from your scientology bullshit the aliens can wait i want to know if this was fucking intentional or not #because the evidence is not super subtle #these naval aviators are fruity as hell #i literally feel like im losing my mind bc like?? if not meant to be romantic then why parallel the other romances?? #im sorry ive been going literally insane over this movie for the past week #also glen powell writing literal fanfiction on twitter.com does not help the case that they arent 10000000% a thing #mr ''yeah miles and i send each other stuff of people wanting rooster and hangman to get together'' #actually. who tf are you fooling #that man did not need to fucking specify who was on the top bunk and who was on the bottom. like #pulling my hair out they fucking know what they were doing. publicly declaring nickname headcanons and top/bottom dynamics?? what the FUCK #sry to all my mutuals who arent neck deep in the top gun movies but ive been having a fantastic time #top gun fucking slaps and everyone should go see it because its a stupid amount of fun #specifically top gun maverick #the first is good but the cinematography and action in tgm is fucking outstanding #the action senes are so well shot and it makes me want to willingly get into a fighter jet for some goddamn reason (plane go vroom) #not in danger of susceptibility to military propaganda but also consider. gay bitches in planes #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun: maverick #pete maverick mitchell #hangman #rooster #jake hangman seresin #bradley rooster bradshaw #hangster #sereshaw #movies #andis thought geyser

[rudeboimonster]

claws into the earth. if you ever want to talk music with me good GOD please do. i want to foam at the mouth about albums and musicians i like and i wanna hear about the ones you do too. inbox is always fucking open holy SHIT

#yall ever remember music you like and just lose your GOD DAMN MIND. literally music make me lose control at the drop of a hat #[this is extra a joke bc i have. so many snapbacks for my fav musicians] [i am a very silly creature] #i need to stop being oh no i cant post on my blog random thoughts thats weird!! but then i remember its MY blog and i get to control what #the FUCK im doing here and also ive been here 12 goddamn years #im allowed to fucking foam at the mouth over music about that old and twice or three times that age if i fucking WANT TO #want to try to. actually just ramble here more. bc lol fuck the bird app and i aint leaving here #and all the other sites sound like shiiiiiit #anyways god the scene of like. dubstep/dnb inspired music circa 2012-2017 was good shit. refound some vindata tracks that still get me

[bunnyb34r]

Girl help there's noises

#first the construction crew and now someone has been doing their goddamn lawn for an hour and it's like omg shut the fuck up!!!!! #i think its 'ben' the creepy neighbor but like that makes it more annoying agdgdgdggd #marquilla #im in a fibro flare so my nerves are already buzzy and this is making it worse #my body feels so wound up and i cant do anything to alleviate that bc my hips hurt #AND the crabs are tapping on the glass ('how do YOU like it bitch!!!') bc they wanna no HAVE TO go between the cabana and glass so more #sounds ughhhh im suprised i made it through my shift without losing it honestly bc this new girl who i dont care for plays her music SO #LOUD and shes two sections away from me it's that loud and it's not my taste in music so it's just grating to my ears #i mean it is even when it is a song i dont mind but still LOUD

[cerkowah]

Of course season 4 wasn't gonna have nandermo get together even without Nandor's internalized homophobia or Guillermo's catholic guilt they are both So Fucking Stupid they're literally hopelessly in love with each other but constantly go "no he could never feel the same way" and it makes me LIVID but also I love it and I would gladly watch 10 seasons of them dancing around each other just for the emotional payoff of the finale kiss

#itd be perfect if it werent for the danger of slowburn (queerbait) vs slowburn (drama) #itd help if the writers werent so goddamn coy abt it #i cant bring myself to read the press release itd make me lose my mind #honestly the biggest thing i want out of season 4 is atleast one of them to have their feelings Explicitly stated/revealed #(even if its someone else saying it cause god knows neither of them will) #just Some little scrap so we can finally say their feelings are canonically romantic instead of ambiguous #literally nothing matches the queerbait-trauma of a writer acting all surprised/taken aback when asked if a queer ship is gonna be canon #with all the rep in the show and the positivity the cast and crew have shown towards the ship i dont want to assume it was malicious #but ive been tricked before #hhhhhrfg i know they cant just reveal whatever they want and that being coy is a marketing strategy but i hate ittyt #cerk.txt #this was a long one whoops #wwdits

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

Maybe Atua is like...an alien deity? Or a king? Or some sort of thing Angie worships to cope with the aliens? I think she mentioned her islands flowers being destroyed because Atua didn't like them or something.

Not sure if the world is truly destroyed, but all the bad stuff happening in tandem seems either like the aliens took from the history of bad things in humanity happening and stuck it in all at once, or the meteors were the aliens.

And like with how Miu (I think) said in her fte, she was in an accident and woke up with a talent, and Maki moving so quickly that she can disappear, maybe the aliens saw the Izuru Kamukura files and said "we can do that, but perfect it", and gave them all talents. They just have regular people one so that they don't go all emotionless.

And Tsumugi herself described Atua as Izuru Kamukura, because to her and maybe the aliens, he was borderline a god from the description.

Anyway, this tests what's real and what's fake because if sci-fi has taught me anything, aliens most likely have the technology to make you think things are real, but they actually aren't, but those fake things are taken from your memories that were found to be implemented, but they were also real, but not your memories and rather someone else's. And that someone else is real while your existence is actually in question. What's real? What's fake? How much sci-fi until the fi becomes non fi?

Yeah I get the like body horror but im just wondering what the hell happens next after the game what the fuck do they do with them do they give all those that died little gold star u tried stickers and put them all back on earth? Do they keep them and like make them alien celebrities? Do they turn them also into aliens? incredibly curious about what the hell Shuichi is going to do when he wakes up and instead of a Real Human Nurse its a fucking mini cthulhu going "omg can i have your autograph"

#ndrv3 #anon chaos #this is making me lose my goddamn mind its good

[bicyclepainting]

never in my life have i ever had group projects members so chronically incompetent. im being tested by god and holy shit i am going to fail

#cw vent #cw caps #essay in tags #IS IT THE FUCKING MAJOR IM IN? #IS IT THAT IM IN A DIFFERENT PART OF THE STATE? #IS IT BECAUSE MY PROFESSORS HAVE A VENDETTA AGAINST ME #WHY ARE MY GROUPS IN TWO SEPARATE CLASSES ACTIVELY TRYING TO MAKE ME LOSE MY MIND #WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CANT FIND THE EXAMPLE #ITS MARKED AND LABELED SO OBVIOUSLY IN CANVAS #WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOURE TRYING TO TRICK PEOPLE IN YOUR KAHOOT QUESTIONS #WHY ARE YOU BEING RIDICULOUS #WHY ARE YOU GOING THROUGH YOUR RIDDLER ARC FOR THIS FUCKING 200 CLAS #GET A GRIP #GET A FUCKING GRIP #WHAT DO YOU MEAN WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A MEETING #THIS FUCKINF PROJECT IS DUE IN LESS RHAN 48 HOURS AND ITS FUCKINF SATURDAY NIGHT #STOP ENTERTAINING THE DELUSIONS #THERES NOT GOING TO BE A MEETING #IF YOU WANTED A MEETING MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TEXTED THE GODDAMN GROUP CHAT TO SET UP A MEETING MORE THAN 48 HOURS BEFOFE THE #PROJECT WAS DUE #HATE HATE HATE IN MY HEART #WAR AND PAIN AND SUFFERING AND VIOLENCE ON PLANET EARTH #IF IT NOT FOR THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO KEEP A 93% IN THIS CLASS TO SKIP THE FINAL I WOULD ABANDON IT ALL #AND IM NOT ASHAMED OF THAT #I WOULD ABADON SHIP #if i end up. not making the cut off to skip the final. it will be my last straw #i can promise that much. #war and pain and suffering and violence on planet earth.

[hecksupremechips]

quark 3 junpei tenmyouji 4 shinjiro 18 fucked up and evil i did three oooooh!!!!

Teehee

Quark: Sleeping hc! Well first off Quark is a lil baby boy very cute when he sleeps. I would love to say they have cute stuffed animals but hm, probably not unfortunately 😭. And they’re probably not able to get good king sleep cuz evil apocalyptic society I feel like never lets people sleep for too long. It’s just kinda like, you sleep where you can when you can and hopefully it goes well. But he does get to sleep in his grandpas arms occasionally and leaning on his shoulder! Very bony shoulders but eh it’s the thought that counts

Junpei Tenmyouji: Driving hc! I don’t think he can drive. I think he would pretend to have a license in the event that there is a car and no one else is fit to drive to he awkwardly gets put into a position where he must drive and then he somehow is able to do everything perfectly normal and then afterwards he gets out of the car and passes out and dies. Junpei definitely would have road rage somehow like if he’s in the car with you and someone is riding your ass hed be very annoyed with this nonsense behavior and this asshole who’s trying to run you over when you’re going at a perfectly reasonable speed. And I think he’s mostly a bus/train kinda guy, maybe a bike if we’re feeling spicy, and I think he’s got at least one pair of heelys for emergencies 😎

Shinjiro: favorite possession! There’s quite a few I could say uh I mean just going off of canon obviously the pocket watch is a big one, it’s the big item needed to complete his social link and protect him. I’m still kinda uh trying to decide what exactly I want the backstory to be for the watch but basically I think he got it around the time he became a persona user. I like to think he was with Akihiko and Mitsuru and they were like wanting to get him something fancy and expensive and he was like pleeeease do not do that 😞🙏 and a lot of compromises were made but he ends up with a cool ass pocket watch because it’s just some absurd ass fancy shit like who the hell uses pocket watches in this century and it’s very fitting for Shinji cuz he acts like a grandpa. And he’s grateful but kinda also conflicted cuz he doesn’t want to be treated like a charity case and he doesn’t think he should have nice things, but he holds in tight to it anyways and when he loses it it’s kinda a big deal to him and he feels really strange when Kotone goes out of her way to find it for him because like, why is this happening again these people just acting so weird and nice to him??? Who does that??? And also like he probably should’ve practically speaking pawned it off while he was homeless so he could have some decent money but. It’s about the power of friendship and sentimental value!!! He can’t get rid of it!!! Unfortunately the watch doesn’t survive the bullet but idk maybe the gang can get it repaired for him 🥺. As for other random items I’ll just mention some with no context: lighter, hat, cds, bracelet, poster, knife

#ask #mmm i just like the idea of junpei behind the wheel flying by the seat of his pants absolutely clueless #just somehow effortlessly driving without making any mistakes #and then he just dies instantly #and ive put many thoughts into the freaking pocket watch it has a death grip on me #its a symbol of unconditional love and friendship and being told you matter and youre worthy of life and happiness #i maybe sob and maybe cry and maybe lose my goddamn mind

[meatball-soup]

INHALE EXHALE

WHINING AND RANT INDCOMINGF DONT MIND ME AUHGDHG

the kickstarter fucking ended and i hestitated too long and i missed it i mean its also pricey and i dont think i have the monie to spare for that but also UGGHHHHH I FEEL SO MISERABLE HDNSHSJ MAN i wonder if i should have just let myself buy stuff for myself sometimes but also it cost a LOT even just for the digital edition and i lowkey blame my weak currency for making it so expensive for me i mean cmon 15 dollers is like, almost 250k (or more? idk) in my currency and thats no small numbers?!?! that shits the quarter of my monthly rent HDNSHD but also AAAAUUHHGGG MAN im so used on feeling left out like this bcos accessibility and monie issurs but also </3 </3 my hhheart.... but (another "but" for the 284738th) also i dont have credit card to pay so its a pain in the ass to order and pay stuff from overseas.. i would need to make one or something and it also costs monies with all the fees.. so maybe its also the best that i didnt get it but also......... man......... ill just go cry myself to sleep i am beyond upset with everything and also myself i dont know anymore auhgsgdgdgg....

#dont mind me im just fucking losing my mind #just me being miserable and combusting exploding disintegrating #rant #i hope its a success and they make a second one and by that time i have better conditions and all and stuff #and maybe just maybe i finally allow myself to indulge #maybe next time if i catch them early i can get the discount... i want physical editions so bad..... but goddamn the shipping cost crazzyyyy