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#and its sort of for power sort of for stability but it really does read like this unrequited love
cruelfeline · 1 year
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Because I am Totally Normal about this game and its characters, I spent the better part of my free time today considering Cuff's senses; namely, his sight.
It's occurred to me, after thinking about various dialogues and in-game situations, that I don't think he can actually see anything on his own. At least not, like, in terms of our concept of vision.
Cuff can sense things. His "compass" ability seems to work almost like a sort of echolocation, except with tiny birds instead of sound. And he appears to have some ability to sense magic, or power. He can, for example, sense the power of some of the necklaces Frey puts on and says as much. He can likewise sense the power in the Breakshards Frey collects after battle.
Actual sight, however, is different. And it's initially a little hard to pin down because, in certain circumstances, he appears very much able to see things that have no magical signature he could otherwise sense.
He can read, for one thing. At the beginning of the game, Frey cannot read Athian, but Cuff can, and so he reads things for her (while also teaching her, which I find perpetually precious!). Clearly, he is able to see with enough clarity that he's able to accurately make out Athian letters and words. He does this with generic signs and books: nothing that might have some sort of magic he could sense and decipher. It's all just plain old written script.
He can take note of various enemy characteristics, commenting positively or negatively on their appearances. He can see the paintings Frey finds on her journey and comments on them, too.
Then, of course, they're this fun example:
Essentially: Cuff appears able to visually see things when he needs to.
So! Why do I think he can't see on his own? And what, exactly, does that mean?
Well, take a dialogue like this:
Besides being deeply endearing to me, it's also quite interesting in that it appears to imply that Cuff is totally unaware of his currently very small surroundings. Frey and Cuff are in a Pilgrim's Refuge. It's a small space. There's not really anywhere for anything to hide. An enemy would be exceedingly easy to see. So why is Cuff momentarily panicked and asking Frey if there's something there?
Furthermore, why does Cuff, in various battle-related dialogues, ask Frey if they're surrounded, or how many enemies there are? A simple glance around would tell him, wouldn't it?
My personal headcanon is that Cuff sees through Frey's eyes. We know, after all, that he senses what she senses via the following:
What I believe, however, is that he only does so when he specifically focuses on the action. It's not automatic; he has to expend some effort and concentration in order to do it.
It would explain why he's able to do something like read to her: she's already looking closely at the text, and so he's able to reach through their connection and access her own sight. Same thing with something like the tower: she sees it, and he's able to briefly reach out and see it with her.
In other situations, it's simply not convenient or viable for him to look through her eyes. In sudden combat, it's quicker to ask if they're surrounded than to access her sight. It may also be a matter of... how to say... the stability of the image. If Frey is focused on reading and is looking at words on a page, her vision is more stable than if she is in battle, eyes flicking from place to place. In said battle scenario, it may be quite disorienting for Cuff to borrow her eyes, so it's easier for him to ask. Not to mention something like combat featuring much more stress and activity, hampering the concentration that may be needed for accurate sight-borrowing on very immediate notice. Especially if Cuff is more focused on, say, scanning or guarding.
In terms of the moment with the torana-teasing: I expect that, safe in a Refuge, he relaxed a bit and wasn't focused on gleaning information from Frey's vision. When he heard her supposedly opening a torana, he assumed there was an enemy immediately near and either felt he didn't have time to reach through their connection or - amusingly - was too panicked to focus enough to do so. Thus, he asks Frey if there's something there.
This is all just speculative, of course. But it makes sense to me! It offers what I feel is a reasonable explanation for why Cuff seems perfectly able to see at certain times, yet appears totally unaware of his surroundings at others.
It's also just... interesting to me. That this could be yet another way that he's so reliant on Frey. That without her, he's limited in what exactly he can sense and identify and interact with. To his perpetual frustration, I'm sure!
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feeling-horsey · 3 months
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Shortly after confirmation that his dresser is a safe location for a delicate item, a sleek and matte black box appears atop Equius' dresser, wrapped with a silky blue bow --only on one side, so it can be easily slid off. Inside is a pitch black sphere about the size of a tennis ball. As soon as light hits it, the glass-smooth surface alights with vibrant blues, greens, and reds, which shift and fade out depending on how the light hits the surface -- a cursory glance would identify it as some sort of large fire opal. It is nestled atop a deep blue silk pillow meant to hold it steady on a flat surface. When picked up, a different shimmer will begin to swirl behind the translucent opal -- the sphere has been hollowed out with a perfectly scaled spherical recess, which has been padded with a thin glass sphere to add a bit of stability to the notoriously brittle opal shell, filled with an opaque liquid that shimmers when it moves. When light directly hits the sphere, the surface erupts in color and the insides are not visible at all -- where the light does not hit the sphere, there is a shimmering darkness instead. The slightest movement will disturb the shimmering inside, causing it to steadily rotate. Beneath the sphere, a note on a soft, matte paper.
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Since Kanaya's message, Equius was waiting eagerly by the dresser for the present, anxious as to what she could get for him that would be so delicate as to require so much warning and care. When the stylish black box arrived, he hesitated for a moment. He knew he had to be careful unwrapping it. The bow was clearly designed to be easily removed, but Equius did not want to take any risks with it tipping at a strange angle. He lifted a hand and used his powers to cut the ribbon near the top so that it could fall to either side, allowing the box to be opened without having to pick up and remove the ribbon. Rather than trying to use his hands, black tendrils of energy slithered from his back in the form of dark tentacles. While he had made amazing strides in controlling his strength, he didn't know exactly what was in the box or how delicate it really was. And he didn't know if it was something that might be easily dropped. It was best to handle it with the semi-solid, infalliable projections of grimdark energy. They lifted the top of the box off, and he carefully peered inside. The pitch black sphere confused him at first until the tentacles gently lifted it from its pillow to examine it more carefully. It was beautiful. One of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. He lifted and twisted and turned it to see it at every angle, with every bit of light he could give it, the man mesmerized. It took him a while to register the note, and reading it had his heart soaring. The sphere was immediately deposited into his sylladex where it would be with him at all times. He would have to make sure it was close and safe at all times- not trusting it to even the safety of the deepest parts of his vault, despite it's resemblance to a number of powerful artifacts that lingered within. This gift was more valuable and beautiful than any of them. It surpassed any magic, any object of power crafted by any god or mortal he had ever seen. They all paled in comparison to what Kanaya could do simply with her love for him.
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corinthreean · 2 years
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Sorry for venting, but I've been reading all those wild takes about Hollywood Husbands and there is some sort of logical fallacy in most of them that I just don't get. And going by your handle, you seem to get my frustration, so...
What we know is this: there are no real red flags coming up around Guy Dexter (the long shadow of the Duke doesn't count as one!). He seems remarkably sensitive to the possible power inequality issue, which he shows by pointedly not crossing any boundaries (or immediately apologizing when it seems he may have) and making every appropriate effort to equalize the relationship. And what's the most important thing: he pretty quickly makes the switch to framing their future life as a shared one by indicating that Thomas would have equal input in major life decisions should things go wrong.
Let's note that at no point does Guy promise that nothing will go wrong. No gaslighting going on here! In fact, he actively warns him that hey, this may not be the perfect Hollywood fairytale, but we will manage either way. Sure, he offers up his house and all his resources (travel, social circle), which is very considerate of him, by the way, and the way things would go in a heteronormative marriage. The pooling of resources and expertise, the fact that Thomas will have de facto control over the household - this is everything that would be expected to happen in a legal marriage.
Is Thomas going to get a 100% perfect life where he can come out and live entirely out of the closet? No. It's 1928, of course not. But he'll be getting the closest possible thing to that in LA. He's getting a promise of community, a modicum of stability and even a chance to finally realise his dreams of seeing the world. Oh, and if it goes to hell? I believe Thomas would be able to make it over there anyway. He has actual marketable skills! He's got a British accent and a veneer of Old World respectability! In fact, his past in service, which would always cast a shadow over his life in Britain, can lend him a certain cachet! A Real Imported 100% British Butler to Count So-and-So (with references!) would actually look great on a resume.
What I don't get is why a considerable number of people seems to find something wrong with that. What I really don't get is why is Richard Ellis being held up as this perfect specimen who got unjustly written out in a manner that is perceived to be outrageously out of character. Because that, my friends, is simply not true. Not a word of it.
I've seen it said that Richard offered Thomas a world. The problem with that oft-repeated statement is that at the end of the day, even before taking the (perhaps) faux marriage into account... Well, relationship-wise Richard doesn't actually offer Thomas much other than a one-time get out of jail card, a verbal gesture of solidarity, a knicknack, a kiss and a promise of a future meeting. Which is great... but it does not a stable long-term relationship with solid future prospects make. Or maybe I am not seeing something?
And mind you, that is okay! I don't need Richard to offer Thomas a perfect ending either! I never did! Or at least I didn't... until some people started making such demands of Guy Dexter.
Richard Ellis is not in the position to make Thomas any promises of shared future. And that is okay. That is the reality they are living in. He can only offer a secretive long distance relationship as long as they both remain in their chosen careers, which neither seems inclined to gamble away on some cottagecore fantasy. And that is okay. He needs/wants to marry for security and that is okay as well. From that moment on he can never offer Thomas a home solely of their own, a relationship that is not in some way shared. That is a choice and it is Thomas' choice to take it or leave it. He leaves it, good for him.
But if we strip down the relationship between Richard and Thomas to its basic parts... there is really not much meat there.
There is no long term security. There is no real community on the offer, unless it's a community of two. There is a warning to be more circumspect and that need for discretion and subterfuge won't suddenly miraculously disappear as long as they stay in the service. There is no effort to include Thomas into Richard's life or space either. Richard goes to visit his parents in York and he doesn't try to bring Thomas along as his friend, much less his 'friend'. There is no indication whatsover that it changes at any point.
In fact, I am pretty sure that it doesn't. Because despite them actually being in some form of a relationship, Thomas doesn't seem to have any influence on Richard's decisions. That letter? It doesn't say: Hey, marriage may become necessary on such-and-such terms, any thoughts on how are we going to proceed? No, it's more like: Hey, I'm getting married, surpise, take it or leave it, your choice. Thomas gets a choice, sure. But it's a reactive one, he's merely playing catch-up after Richard already made the decision that would influence them both without consulting him first. It's Richard's life and Richard's decision, sure. But it doesn't seem like Thomas is afforded enough courtesy to be in any way included in the decision-making process.
And on the other side, we've got Guy Dexter saying that whatever happens, we will figure it out. Before they even kiss. Gods know Thomas Barrow hasn't had much agency in his life, not when it really counted. Why are people so hateful that he gets offered some (lots) and grabs it with both hands?
THANK
YOU
I haven’t had the energy for much writing of meta lately but this is 100% what I’d be saying if I did. Thank you so much for sharing with me.
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aworldforastage · 7 months
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currently reading: Clear and Muddy Loss of Love/泾渭情殇 by 请君莫笑
This is a loooooong novel, but surprisingly I'm almost halfway through without taking a break from it.
Premise: Qiyan Agula wants to take revenge on the Wei Kingdom for destroying her tribe and family. She pretends to be a man named Qi Yan, hoping to enter the Wei Court through the Imperial Exams to dismantle the government from the inside. However, the Wei Emperor grants her a marriage with his beloved daughter, Princess Jingnu. This new position complicates Qiyan's revenge plan, and also forces her to build a complicated relationship with the naive but sweet princess.
The Wei kingdom is newly founded by the current Emperor, and the chaotic state of its court and gentry reflects the messy power brokering that stabilized the new dynasty. The Emperor does not have a good succession plan, nor an effective approach to governing. There are ruthless games of power and backstabbing in elite politics, and dire threats against survival of the common people.
The political intrigue is pretty interesting and keeping me hooked on the novel. The style reminds me of Joyful Reunion. Most of the plots are not super intricate or complex, but there are a lot of plotting, deception, and long games. It's a fairly serious attempt to explore the motivations and implications of war, political reform, social inequality, and (autocratic) leadership.
Qi Yan is pretty brutal. When I say she is not a good person, I mean she is actively ruining the lives of people who haven't done anything to her. She gradually realizes her revenge plan is causing immense pain and harm to people who never hurt her, but so far she is trying to internalize and justify it instead of changing her priorities.
I feel sort of conflicted about Jingnu. She is kind, sweet, talented, but only this way because she is a sheltered and favored royal, oblivious to the legacy of bloodshed and oppression that has built and sustained her life of privilege. The narrative has mostly exempt her from the dire experiences and circumstances that has forced other characters to break their morals and principles, but we get to look forward to how she'll handle the big betrayal/reveal waiting for her in the future.
The GL romance developed very organically but also ... not very GL. They started in an arranged royal marriage so they are constantly performing these rituals of marriage without any emotions attached. It's two people trying to live together peacefully falling for the other person's strength and kindness. One of them doesn't know her "husband" is a woman and is not thinking of this like a GL or w/w relationship. The other person, to be fair, has much bigger problems with this relationship than her partner's gender.
and some other random iinitial thoughts:
old Emperor Nangong is really a *string of expletive*
.... I did not expect [spoilers] to be our first lesbian relationship in this nove... ╭( ๐_๐)╮
... I really did not expect [more spoilers] to become a long term lesbian relationship ... (⚆ᗝ⚆)
... that awkward moment when all the points in the love dodecahedron is on the same family tree, but it's an extended traditional Chinese clan so I guess they are not that related (●__● )
Princess Jingnu you have many very good reasons to hate and be disappointed in Qi Yan but so far the one you found out and fixated on is the one thing she actually didn't do...
but seriously how are you married for SEVEN years, half of which is actually more-than-amicable, but still not know your "husband" is a woman?
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jadethest0ne · 2 years
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In need of Refueling, Chapter 25 - Choices Made
Summary:  “You?! Why would I trust you? You have brought me nothing but failure. Time and time again; nothing but disappointment!”
His father’s words might have been a result of his possession by the  White Bone Spirit, but whether or not they were his true thoughts, Red  Son vows to prove them wrong. To do so he seeks to attain a power strong enough to destroy his father’s immortal enemy. After all, he’d much rather throw fire at his problems.
Word Count: 2113
Ratings/Warnings:  Teen and up; injury, burns, angst and hurt/comfort, toxic thoughts caused by toxic parents, panic attacks, abuse.
Notes: Red Son and MK finally talk
Credits: Big thanks to @painted-arachnid and @simplyfornardo  for helping me bounce ideas off of them. And also thanks to @lemonsqueazie for providing me with “Journey to the West” lore. I don’t know much about the original novel or other iterations, but I still tried to keep  some things compliant with the lore. You should check all of them out, since they’re really great content creators with neat ideas!  
Read on AO3
———-
Red Son catches his breath as he looks over the city with the imposing mech still nestled in its midst and signs of a fight surrounding it. He didn't mean to run like a coward. His legs just took him away without thinking. As he calms down he thinks back to what he had just witnessed.
When he first met Sandy, he admits that he thought the man could be dangerous. But after weeks with him, he had come to know him as soft and gentle and kind. Red Son supposes he was still those things. But for the first time since Red Son knew him, Sandy's intimidating form was exactly that - large and intimidating, and definitely able to punch a hole through a powerful mech.
And angry.
Out of anything Red Son wasn't expecting that.
A part of him feels almost betrayed. Why didn't Sandy tell him? The large man was always a paragon of self-control and tranquility. For him to be… not that… left Red Son feeling like the rug was pulled under him, and what was once a single bit of stability in his life for the past month or so, was not so stable and in-control after all.
But he did tell him, didn't he? He had mentioned anger management. And then there was part of that conversation with Pigsy that Red Son had overheard. Red Son knew. He just didn't see. And it wasn't until now that Red Son could see how much Sandy understood what he has been going through. Despite the fear and the hurt, something in his chest tugs at that thought, and it is as if it is pulling him in the direction back to the city.
Red Son shakes the thoughts away, takes a steadying breath, and turns back to the mech.
----
There is finally a lull in the pulses of energy that were being taken from MK, and he's finally able to catch his breath. He supposes Sandy stopped attacking the mech due to it healing up and not mattering anyways, but he can still hear quiet echoes of a fight going on outside.
He tugs halfheartedly at the webs holding him, with no results. He's having trouble staying awake, but he wants to fight back. It's just that a lot of the fight has left him. Both physically and mentally.
So he's not pleased when he sees Red Son pop out of some sort of drain in the ground and enter the room.
"Red Son," he growls, which is about all he can muster.
Red Son looks around surreptitiously before coming over to him and begins to pull at the webs holding him. MK stares at him, dumbly. It takes a few moments of hearing Red Son grumbling angrily as he tugs at his binds before MK snaps out of a momentary confusion and asks, "What are you doing?!"
"What does it look like, Noodle Boy? I'm trying to get you out of here so you can stop the Spider Queen and save your styuuuupid friends. And the city, too, I guess."
MK blinks, unevenly. "Maybe I'm more out of it than I thought... Are you saying you're trying to... save me?!"
"Maybe? Yes! SHUT UP! I'm trying to concentrate."
MK squints his eyes; brain trying and failing to make a connection. "Why?!"
"Ugh!" Red Son throws his head back with an exasperated sigh, but doesn't stop in his attempts at breaking the webs. "Because! I, tch, need you to stop Spider Queen! And I would be very much put out if you all died." As if not wanting that statement to hang in the air, he quickly changes subjects. "This isn't working. Maybe if I try to mess with the main controls..." He goes over to the machinery adjacent to MK and tries tapping some buttons and messing with some wires.
MK, still frustrated with the lack of explanation, pushes further. "Why do you care? Why are you even here?! Is this some big trick? If you really wanted me out of here, why aren't you even using your powers?!" Red Son's back is to MK as he works on the machines. With each question he seems to get more angry and haphazard in his attempts to mess with the controls. MK finally yells again, in hopes of getting an answer, "Red Son!"
"Aaarrghhh!" Red Son yells angrily and slams his fists on the machine. This causes some sort of feedback as energy zaps out of the machine, and he's thrown across the room and skids across the ground back towards where MK is. He lets out an angry grunt as he lands on his back, but MK isn't sure if it's because of the machine or the pain or his usual anger. He gets his answer when Red Son finally yells out a response.
"I don't have my powers! I told you! I can’t even control a stupid stove when it goes out of control." He holds out his hand and MK can clearly see a light burn on it, and he makes a connection to the earlier incident with Mei. Red Son continues, "I haven't been able to shoot fire or anything ever since my father took the Samadhi Fire from me. And that was after I tried to please him by bringing him the Monkey King, which it turns out he didn’t like. And then I tried to be," here he makes a disgusted sound, "... good. And I tried to make nice with you all. Which it turns out that you didn’t like.” MK frowns a bit at that comment.  “And now I'm trying to fix what I did before, when I made a deal with Spider Queen back when I got the Fire in the first place.” He starts frantically waving his arms in the air. “And I'm trying to save you but everything keeps blowing up in my face!! LITERALLY!!!" He heaves a tired sigh, his arms flopping back to the ground, and doesn't make any move to try to get up.
MK stares at Red Son, who isn't looking at him in return. It's like he wasn't even yelling at him, but just yelling in general. But MK listened. And suddenly some things clicked into place. “You… you’re telling the truth.”
Red Son makes a frustrated noise. “Yeah, but what does it matter now? I can’t be a hero or a villain. I spent so long trying to please my father, I don’t even know what to do.” He again raises his hands above him, but this time slowly to look at them, pondering out loud. “It's hard trying to be yourself when you don't know who you are.”
MK finds himself nodding along to that last part. “If that ain’t the truth.”
Red Son clenches his fists and sits up sharply, pounding them on the ground on either side of him. “Oh sure, now you’re pretending to understand me! Now, when I’m completely useless, and you’re all tied up, you actually listen.” His fists grow slack again, and he hunches over. "You don't understand how pitiful it is that the son of the Demon Bull King not only can't live up to his father's name, but can't even help his enemies."
MK’s eye twitches slightly. That struck a chord. The side of his lip quivers up in a half smile. "Hah," he barks out a quiet laugh with no mirth. "You think I don't understand what it's like to have to live up to someone else?!" He laughs a bit more, weakly. "I'm the Monkie Kid! I have to live up to the Monkey KING," he emphasizes. "And look at how I'm doing. I nearly got the Monkey King killed! And even when I literally have all of his powers and am invincible, I still managed to get captured and am being used as some sort of battery to help destroy the city! If I get out of this somehow, I doubt the Monkey King will want me to be his successor anymore."
Red Son finally turns to MK and scoffs. "Oh you'll be fine! Your friends will still want you around because, I don't know, you all care about each other or something? Sandy even kept me around for who knows what reason, and I’m an enemy!” Then he gestures at himself. “Furthermore, I’m the one who started this whole thing. If you really want someone to blame for this mess, it's me, not you! You're good at this.” He meets MK’s eyes, and emphasizes, “Too good.” After a beat he lowers his head dejectedly, and rubs his face. “I thought if I made things right, I could maybe be a part of that. But I'm not even good enough to be at my father's side, much less any of yours."
MK mulls over the exchange. He thinks back to all of Red Son's interactions with him and his friends recently. With the sudden context of him not being able to use his powers, his relationship with his father, and his current actions, a lot of things started making sense. Now that he thinks about it, if MK had paid a bit more attention, he’d probably have been able to understand better. He just hadn’t wanted to. After some silence, he starts slowly. "Yeah, maybe you are to blame, a little bit…” Red Son further hunches his shoulders. "But maybe I was wrong about you, Red Son,” MK continues, “And I think I was just too angry at you… and at myself, to really listen to what you had to say."
Red Son’s head snaps back up, and stares at him, wide eyed. His eyes seem to search MK’s own, also appearing to be mulling over the conversation. But whatever is going on in his head, he must have found an answer, as he recovers and says. "Well, I know a bit about how that feels."
"I guess we've got some things in common then." MK manages a half-hearted grin.
"Ugh! Don't get all touchy feely on me, Noodle Boy." Red Son grimaces.
MK smiles a bit more genuinely than he's had in a while.
"Well, I definitely understand not feeling good enough. And if you want..." He worries his lip between his teeth, debating the decision he's about to make. He feels it's the right one. "...If we do get out of this, then, I think I'd be okay if you still worked at Pigsy's shop."
"Really?!”
“Yeah, well I don’t think Sandy would be happy if you randomly left. And you did risk your neck coming back here. And…” MK wished he could move because he really wants to fidget from this  awkward exchange. But he’s glad that it feels honest, and not so filled with distrust and cynicism anymore. It feels more like himself that way. “And in the end, I'd rather be friends than enemies," he finishes quickly.
Red Son relaxes, almost imperceptibly. “Indeed." He lifts up his chin and tries to sound pompous, but there is an underlying vulnerability there, as he says "I would prefer that arrangement as well.” He chances a look at MK who flashes him an even bigger, though no less tired, smile, to which Red Son dramatically rolls his eyes and groans. But he looks back at MK with a half-smile playing on the corner of his lip.
Red Son then takes a deep breath, picks himself up, and dusts himself off, a lot less harried than he seemed before. “Well, none of that is going to mean anything if I can’t get you out of here. Let me try again. Maybe if I try picking these apart, strand by strand, it’ll work…” He begins to reach towards the webs holding MK.
There is a small buzz, like static, that MK feels. Oh no. He knows what’s coming
“Red Son, wait-!” he warns, before Red Son gets too close, and his voice is cut off by a surge of energy shooting through him. All MK can do is scream in pain.
Yet again the mech is taking energy from him and he feels himself grow weaker and weaker. There’s a buzzing in his ears, but it’s accompanied by what sounds like a voice. He attempts to see through eyes squinted in pain. Red Son is there and his mouth is moving, saying something; calling him?
“Noodle Boy, stay with me! You are not allowed to go to sleep now, do you hear me?!!”
Things begin to fade and the edges of his vision darken. As he loses consciousness, Red Son’s voice echoes in his ears.
“Noodle Boy! Noodle Boy!... MK!”
Then nothing.
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twentyninebirds · 1 year
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2022 readings: assorted hogfather thoughts
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way back when in january of this year i decided to pick up hogfather based on its absolutely batshit summary, which somehow failed to capture the absolute insanity that is hogfather, and honestly does that even come as a surprise to anyone. who could've guessed that the book where santa is murdered and death steps up to the task while gods are spawned every other page would go off the rails.
was this the best way to start the death books? as someone who hasn't read them all yet i can't answer that, but holy shit did i enjoy this book. a lot! a lot a lot! i felt the pacing was a bit odd in some places, but unfortunately i'm insane and enjoy that sort of off-kilter feeling. keep me on my toes and prod me to see what sound i make, go wild. i appreciate a good bout of chaos with a million moving parts specifically because it makes my brain squish in funny ways.
did i feel the story dragged in some parts? yes, but any flaws regarding its narrative structure i can forgive for how hard the book steamrolled me in the last bit. the humour in this book is sharp and absolutely on point and as someone who adores terry pratchett's writing style perhaps it's no surprise that i have half the book highlighted. it's just the cost of good literature.
anyway, if you're interested in reading any more of my deranged comments then here they are:
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death as a character is just. how do you do it. how do you make such an incredible character. the utter glee of watching the guy monkey-see monkey-do his way into santa-hood is a masterpiece. "i shall tread extra soot into his carpet" is such a throwaway line but not to me it isn't holy shit
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the unseen university subplot is exactly the sort of stuff i like to see in a narrative this unhinged. every time the god of hangovers was addressed as the "oh god of hangovers" i snorted, which really reflects more on my eviscerated sense of humour than anything else. i cackled through the entire hangover cure conversation and you should too
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hex's existential horror trip into +++ All Things Strive +++ and honestly the whole hex subplot is just fantastic. 12/10 would terrify machine with the unbearable weight of mortal existence again
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this book doesn't pull its punches regarding the nature of belief but it also picks up the issue of "socio-economic factors" and compresses it like a squeaky toy. there's something very telling about death, who begins the series as a character who seems if not content then at least indifferent to the fact that everyone prescribes to themselves their own eternal afterlife no matter how deserving or underserving they were of it—there is no justice, just death.
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and as that itch of humanity rears its head over and over again we get death confronted with the bearable yet still fundamentally wrong hardships of being born on the wrong side of the socioeconomic divide. what is happiness, really? death doesn't have to worry if you die happy, just that you die punctually.
the scene with the little match girl sold me immediately on everything i read before and after. if the world allows for happiness only after that very world fails you then the world itself will reject it. death recognizes his role and his function as a stabilizing agent, but more than that he recognizes the limits of his ability. this isn't how it should be—this is just how it goes.
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the book isn't particularly subtle in communicating the power of belief in shaping all lives, not just mortal, but hell if i didn't enjoy it. at first it plays on the field of absolute lunacy and holy shit is it entertaining: bees and sock-eaters and hangovers, oh my! and then we have conversations about how the world is structured and how said structure makes people feel.
it's good that there are people who are not just miserable, but genuinely, entirely, senselessly miserable, like little girls selling matches in the bitter cold, because if they exist then that means at least you aren't them, and some sense of structure is returned to the universe. it's easy to miss ridcully's comment that "things go wrong, things get lost, it's natural to invent little creatures that—" that what?
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the many bearable hardships of life transform into nuisances of various forms... and in those forms they embody both problem and solution. to believe that those little problems are caused by something is to believe in one link in the universal causal chain. in the chain all events have purpose and reason. and in such an existence so long as you believe then it's not your fault and even if it is or even if it isn't you can make it better. you can fix this. the horrifying mundane is made fantasy. a child's drawing is a real, tangible domain. and in that realm you don't die. you just "get old, listening to the laughter..."
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the entire scene where susan tries to ease banjo into taking over the tooth fairy's duties made me deeply, viscerally sad. the sort of quiet sadness that settles over you, akin to grief but also a little distant. odd experience. holy fuck
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"the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape" is probably among one of the best-known phrases in all of discworld and for good reason. i have almost that entire conversation highlighted.
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there is no justice. there is no mercy. there is no duty. if you put the universe to the test you will always find it wanting—but the universe wants for nothing. you just want it to be. there is no meaning except where you find it, and the same goes for justice, mercy, duty... and yet you still have to believe, because if you don't what's left?
the evidence is against you. the numbers don't add up. there isn't so much something missing as something that wasn't there in the first place. you feel betrayed because you've made the choice to believe in something that wasn't real and when you were faced with the facts only now is something wrong. and yet. and yet
"You have to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become?"
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there's this ongoing notion that children are the perfect innocent ideal, entirely devoid of evil, unable to take responsibility for their actions. in some ways that's true! in others it's absolute bullshit. children can be absolute devils and they can suffer the cruelties of a world made by people who failed them. these statements are not, in fact, mutually exclusive. when death claims that letting children know of the brutal violence of the world is "educational", he does so while also teaching them that "there's always the poker". maybe they didn't really understand his angle, and their innocence will protect them? or maybe "they had a very good idea of what he was."
anyway. can you tell i recently took a course literally called "reason and revelation". false advertising embodied. should've called it "the nature of reason and belief". can't believe i subjected myself to such horrors. or can i? anyway i've thoroughly enjoyed every death book i've read so far. yes. all two of them. maybe a third in the coming weeks! sometimes i like to lie down and listen to great echoing indifference of the universe. i also like to read. i hope you also like reading, or else.
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hongism · 2 years
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hello bestie!! its been such a long time aaa i know i've been gone for months. i did some traveling and relaxing but now i'm back! i said id do an analysis on moc 45, but i just read 46 and i HAVE to get my thoughts out on it. ill also read the third chapter of blood masquerade soon hehe >:) but i hope youve been well! i see you have a lot of projects for yourself and wips—im very happy for you <3 ive been doing a lot better too since ive been on break. but without further ado, moc 46! - siren
hello beloved my darling siren i’ve missed you dearly!!! i’ve been gone as well no worries huehue TT im glad to hear you got to take some time for yourself and got to travel and relax that sounds so lovely 🤧 i have been taking a break myself as well so im slowly slowly working back into being active and getting back into the swing of things here hopefully 🤧 NOW! let’s get into the MEAT OF THINGS 🍽️
Firstly, the MC and Wooyoung. We get a lot of backstory and context from Wooyoung about the life that they've lived, why Seonghwa is different from them, and sirens in general—plenty of interesting exposition. However, the main thing I want to focus on is Wooyoung's character development from when we learned that he killed another siren to now, where we get to hear his full POV on everything. It's interesting to see his emotional growth thus far and his overall awareness of himself.
this chapter was really forward with the exposition on many fronts, i think i called it the ‘talking chapter’ quite a bit but that’s really what it was! and moving forward, we’ll see a lot more of that siren lore and discussion coming forward as well! i think what’s omst interesting about all this coming from woo is also knowing in the back of our minds that this is growth he achieved alone, he didn’t have yeosang after their argument and no one else knows what he is aside from seonghwa, who was preoccupied, and yn who was absent.
This chapter really puts into perspective the weight of everything he's had to go through, and the fact that he's carrying trauma from both himself AND the MC. I don't think it's selfish to feel angry that she forgot everything, even if she couldn't control it, but here we sort of see the stabilization of Wooyoung's emotions and, again, coming to terms with everything. He's in a better place now on the crew, but the MC showing up probably turned everything upside down for him. A BIG theme this chapter is acceptance and closure. Wooyoung is honestly one of my least favorite characters because of how volatile he can be, his arguably unhealthy relationship with Yeosang, and the way he chooses to handle his problems. But flawed does not mean bad. He is one of the most flawed characters, but I think that makes him so much more interesting. We can see his mistakes and how he slowly grows from them and accepts them. It doesn't excuse things, but he is growing. That much trauma will do stuff to you. It's understandable why Wooyoung is so flawed, even if his past actions aren't excusable. But again, he's in a more stable place now, and he's able to open up to the MC in a way he can't do with anyone else because now she remembers. They're both still figuring out their powers, but the bond they've shared for YEARS is finally getting mended again—that inexplicable bond where you're closer than blood. This closes old doors but also opens new ones.
i think this is a super good point as well, the idea that wooyoung had so many years to work through the loss of mc then suddenly she’s back in his life but not only that, she doesn’t recognize him or remember him or anything at all, and while it’s clear that she’s not fine, she’s clearly not carrying the weight of what wooyoung knows both of them went through. this theme of acceptance and closure will carry through to the next chapter as well and throughout the end of the act but i’d say aside from mc, we see yunho and wooyoung handling their issues in the most unhealthy ways. and now finally we can see some growth in him where now that mc does remember and now that yeosang took that step back from him, he can see himself and reflect and see where he’s gone wrong, and he can find some proper footing to move forward in a better way. while things between him and mc, as well as things between him and yeosang, could possibly never go back to being exactly the way they were, we’ll see wooyoung learning to cope with that as well as well as see the consequences of his actions to grow from it too.
Also, everything that's happened with Yeosang and the MC makes things so, so, so much more interesting between them. I LIVE for that relationship where he just wants to hate her so badly, but he CAN'T. It's so good I'm ascending. I can't wait to see how things develop and resolve between them BECAUSE YES. I also wanna go a little out of order and talk about Minho and Jisung first before I get to Hongjoong because there's so much I wanna dissect about that scene omg.
from the very beginning the number one question i’ve gotten is ‘why does yeosang hate mc so much’ and it was AGONIZING to keep that knowledge to myself for SO long but to finally reveal this is why and to see people look back at acts one thru five and see the ‘oh that’s why he did/said that!’ is sO SO SO good for me as a writer to see that payoff unfold i ADORE seeing it!
So, the whole Minho interaction just DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME. He's obviously a little loopy and drugged up from what we can see, but WHY would Jisung do that? Maybe Minho has tried to escape before and there have been consequences, but why now? When the MC visits Jisung in the barn, he's given up. He knows he's lost, so he has to let everything go. The risks are greater than the reward. Unless he's that great of a manipulator, which I don't put past him, but I have another theory. This might be a bit far-fetched, and I may be completely wrong, but what if Hyunwoo hurt/drugged Minho under the guise of it being Jisung? At the end, we see things have taken the turn for the worst when Hyunjin shows up to the barn instead of Yeosang, and we know Hyunjin has been working for Hyunwoo. Again, maybe Jisung is just an A-grade manipulator and he's in on everything, but this is the theory I'm gonna stick with for now. I think Jisung is a bad person, but not the worst person.
as we know, i can never have a character who is Fine:tm: and minho is the prime example of that in what we know about him and what we will learn moving forward with him is what pushes his buttons and all that so while i can’t say much without spoiling, i think you’re onto something with saying that jisung is a bad person but not the worst person, and minho is obviously under the influence of something but we’ll see that come into play more in time!
There's still a lot about Hyunwoo we don't know, and he may be a worse person than Jisung. Hyunwoo was the one that administered the serum, he was the one that wanted to appear dead in the MC's eyes, he was the one that sent Hyunjin to tail her. Jisung is a narcissist, pretty much a yandere, and puts his wants higher than the risks. But he would never put the MC in harms way. We saw that on his ship, when she harmed herself in front of him, etc. But what do we know about Hyunwoo? All we know about him is what Jisung says about him and the skewed memories that the MC has. I think there's still a lot hiding behind that saccharine display. He just threw the MC's trauma back in her face, and Jisung said that even if Minho refused to give the MC the serum a second time, Hyunwoo is still very capable of doing it. He might've wanted to pass the guilt to someone else, but maybe he still has plans of giving her the serum. THERE'S SO MUCH WE DON'T KNOW.
i think the BEST way to describe hyunwoo’s character is that mc has been looking at him, or rather the memory of him, through rose-colored glasses all this time, and while i understand why everyone has such strong feelings of hatred towards jisung, he is also the one removing those rose-colored glasses for her because he knew that even if he told her the 100% truth about hyunwoo and who he really was/is, she wouldn’t have believed it. so you’re VERY MUCH ONTO SOMETHING
And before I get into that bath scene with Hongjoong, I just have to say I'm surviving off these MC and Jongho CRUMBS 😔. I- I love their relationship so much it's so cute and amazing, like PLEASE. I will always be the biggest MC and Jongho enthusiast THEY ARE MY FAVORITE. I can't wait until they see each other again it's gonna be so great. ANyway, enough fangirling I'll get into my favorite scene of the chapter ehehe
i AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY 😔 i know there’s hardly enough jongho and mingi present in the story but jongho and mc have such an endearing and precious relationship and once we move past some of this HEFTY STUFF!!! we’ll get to see more of that and get into it more 😔💓
Hongjoong and the MC's relationship is such a complicated thing. It's a lot of pushing and pulling and it's similar to Yeosang and the MC? But, like, x10 intensity. I think it's really interesting how Hongjoong brought up the MC's hero complex, which is something I didn't even realize she had until now. As a reader, we tend to root for the good and for good things to happen that we don't realize when they "shouldn't" happen. They're criminals, not heroes, and the MC isn't the captain However, she keeps making these decisions that she honestly pushes onto Hongjoong and gets upset when he says otherwise. But he's right. She can't save everyone. Not everyone needs to be saved, either. And I think it's turned into the MC thinking she's the hero, while unintentionally seeing Hongjoong as the villain or as an antagonist when they're both on the same side. He's always an "obstacle." He's an obstacle when solidifying her place on the crew, when saving others, etc She wants Hongjoong to take her seriously and treat her like the rest of his crew, but also for him to use her as a "tool" (if I remember correctly) because she doesn't want to develop a close relationship with him. Because he's an obstacle. An antagonist to her plans. They are parallels to each other, but at the same time, very similar personality wise. Thinking of all their interactions, besides the more serious ones, I really think Hongjoong's just playing a big game with her.
hongjoong and mc by FAR have the most complicated relationship. i mean, it’s safe to say that hongjoong’s relationship with ANYONE on the crew is complicated but mc makes things a whole lot more complicated on her own too, but another big thing is that hongjoong very clearly does not hate her as much as she hates him or as much as she THINKS he hates her? and everyone dunks on hongjoong for refusing to cooperate with her but it’s exactly as you’re saying: she’s not the captain, she doesn’t make the decisions, and she is constantly pushing things onto him because she wants to save everyone around her. i really think you’ve hit the nail pretty much on the head in this view of how she sees him and how he treats her in return. hongjoong is very aware of how she contradicts herself and how much she flip-flops on what she wants, and he knows how to get under her skin because of it. the reason he keeps demanding respect is because he sees all this himself and he wants her to see it too, which is why this conversation was so huge for the two of them
I'M SO SORRY I THINK I SENT TOO MANY MESSAGES IN A ROW IT SAID I HAD TO WAIT FOR AN HOUR I THINK I'M JUST TOO EXCITED SO SORRY AGAIN, But yes, maybe it was obvious to everyone but me but I think Hongjoong is just playing a bunch of games with the MC. He's twisting her words, teasing her, and throwing things she said back in her face just because he can. She probably reminds him of a younger version of himself? He cares for her and accepts her in his crew, but she hasn't done the same. I don't think the MC has fully accepted herself as one of the crew or Hongjoong as her captain. So in the meantime, he just keeps messing with her because it's funny LOL. But he was reluctant to give her to Jisung and in the end he chose to save her, and I think that speaks volumes. The whole bath scene while also being spicy 😳 was there for them to be more open? Not me finding the metaphorical meaning behind being naked in a bath LMAOO, But it was there for them to be more truthful.
NO BUT THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THE BATH SCENE WAS FOR SDLKFJSDLKF like yeah whew tension spicy ! but also what better way to visualize the idea of baring your soul to someone than to be literally naked before them. im glad you caught that and picked up on it PAST THE SPICINESS! because it really was that, it was meant to be this tearing down of the walls between them that they wouldn’t usually be able to get past without having a conversation in a debatably intimate setting!
They're putting both of themselves out there to each other, maybe more so Hongjoong to her, and the scene is there to show the cold harsh truth that the MC needs to hear, and pokes fun at the way the MC villainizes Hongjoong while putting herself on this sort of heroic pedestal (despite the fact that they are both criminals). There's also foreshadowing in the way that the MC *will* probably open up to Hongjoong and try to fix him like she's done with everyone else I think even regarding Hyunwoo and Jisung, she's led herself to them and put herself in situations she doesn't necessarily want to be in because of her savior complex. Hongjoong recognizes all of that, but she isn't ready to accept it. She continuously puts herself, and by proxy, her crew in danger because she's doing things based off her own moral obligations. Being good isn't always the right thing, especially when you're criminals. It's kill or be killed in their world.
and for the first time i think we really see some raw honesty from hongjoong, some baring of his soul where others aren’t involved. we’ve seen him talk about seonghwa, about yunho, about the mutiny, but here now we’re seeing him talk about hongjoong. and he’s very clearly playing with her idea of him as a villain and he’s throwing that savior complex in her face as a way to say ‘look we’re on the same side whether you like it or not’ but he’s also teaching her a harsh lesson that yeah they’re criminals, they’re not good people, and she is not a good person inherently so she’s not better than him in any regard
Okok that's my analysis!! That was way longer than I thought it would be ALKSDJASLK But I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts just as much as I love ranting about them LOL. I'll be around more often now, and I can't wait to read the newest chapter of blood masquerade! Also, I didn't fully get into the spiciness of that bath scene but just know I WAS SCREAMING OK. It fr knocked me out. 🧎‍♀️ Anyways, have a good day/night. Let's talk soon!! <3
i had SO MUCH FUN READING YOUR THOUGHTS AS ALWAYS <333 i love love love reading rants and talking through the hefty stuff ehehe im glad you enjoyed and that you had so many thoughts to share with me 🤧💕💞💕💞
not me rethinking everything i wrote for moc 46 likE IM SO RUSTY I HAVENT TOUCHED MOC IN MONTHS 😔😔 if anything doesn’t make sense.. uhh ignore it HDKAHKDS IM STILL GETTING BACK INTO THE LOOP - siren 🤡
LKDSFLJKDFLJK PLSSS NOOOOO I SWEAR IT MAKES SENSE IT’S ALL GOOD I PROMISE PSDLFDFJAIO i loved reading all your messages and getting to respond to them <3333
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a-god-in-ruins-rises · 5 months
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☕️How do you feel about the Holy Roman Empire
for most of my life i found it really boring.
you read about european history and it feels like it never really does anything. and when it does it's always an aside.
"oh the kings of england and france signed a temporary truce so the the king of france can go fight the holy roman emperor for some inconsequential piece of land"
there were a handful of powerful emperors who were trying to conquer or assert authority in italy and i found that interesting (barbarossa is one of my favorite historical figures) but for the most part it doesn't seem like it did much to really act on the world around it until the later hapsburgs years which i found boring for other reasons.
it didn't stir my imagination the same way the spanish kingdoms did with their reconquista or the french and english kingdoms constantly being at war with each other.
however, as i've gotten older and my interests have become deeper and more complex i feel i've really come to appreciate the holy roman empire. i find it extremely fascinating. it was honestly such a peculiar....entity. there are some things i love about it and others i hate. i always hated that the emperor was so weak. but i also appreciate that it retained a degree of the traditional germanic "elective monarchy" tradition, even institutionalizing it. i think it has a fascinating relationship with the development of cities and thus capitalism and proto-industrialization (particularly the hanseatic league). while i think its decentralization goes /too/ far i do appreciate it as a really primitive type of quasi-federalism. i appreciate its legal history and its political institutions. i appreciate its relative and noteworthy stability (or, in another way, its flexibility and resilience). the sort of cosmopolitan/multicultural power networks.
i really do find it very fascinating now. i'm trying to find a good historiography on it with an emphasis on the things i mentioned above (the power networks, the institutions, the proto-capitalism, development of cities/states, etc).
i think it was full of potential. i mean, it realized a degree of greatness but i think it could have been even /more/ greater and really lived up to its name as a restored roman empire if the emperor was able to assert more of his authority (especially under the hohenstaufens) and centralize some power and maybe create some authentic federal empire. i think the "confoederatio cum principibus ecclesiasticis" was the turning point that threw away any hope of that.
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acumains · 1 year
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Cpu stress test temperature
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#Cpu stress test temperature how to
#Cpu stress test temperature install
#Cpu stress test temperature 64 Bit
#Cpu stress test temperature software
Hopefully it is, and I just haven't been able to find it. Or any other solution that fits my four criteria would be great too!Īgain, I'm really surprised a program that fits the four criteria I listed is not widely available.
#Cpu stress test temperature how to
If anyone can provide a step-by-step guide for dummies on how to do so (or provide a built image that also includes temp monitoring software), that would be ideal building it with BartPE would not work because BartPE is 32 bit.
#Cpu stress test temperature 64 Bit
There is a native 64 bit version of intelburntest for winpe ( ), but despite some searching, I have no clue how to build a winpe image that includes this program. I would prefer to use something based on linpack (e.g., intelburntest) because it seems to do a great job in a short amount of time. I am very surprised the sort of tool I am looing for is not widely available it seems like an analogue to memtest86+ for cpu testing.
#Cpu stress test temperature install
I have tried several bootable cd/dvds without success including, inquisitor, ubuntu 圆4 live cd (couldn't install prime95, various errors, I'm far from fluent in linux), ultimate boot cd (doesn't do multicore does multiprocessor, not helpful for me), and a bartpe build that included prime95 (no temp monitoring software, not 64bit, can't run multiple instances). I have been scouring the internet for the past 2 days and have not been able to find anything that fits all of these criteria. I really need to be able to stress test multicore pcs prior to installing operating systems. The only utilities I've ever found that come as close as possible to 100% TDP are Prime95 v26.6 Small FFT's for thermal testing, which is a steady workload, and Asus RealBench for stability testing, which is a fluctuating workload.Īlthough the topic of Prime95 (with and without AVX) was covered, I would like to have seen RealBench included in your test suite, as it's widely accepted as an excellent utility for testing overall system stability, and uses a realistic AVX workload.I am looking for a cpu stress testing (burn in) program that fulfills the following criteria:ģ) accompanied by temperature monitoring program However, since Intel validates their thermal specifications at a steady 100% TDP, it's most appropriate to select utilities that don't overload or underload the CPU. This article provides some excellent comparisons.
#Cpu stress test temperature software
Since most users test their rigs without a sense of scale for power and temperature, they can't compare apples to apples, especially when combined with major variables such as differences in ambient temperature, hardware configurations and software utilities. Otherwise, great work! I was very pleased to read this article!Ģ0741319 said:As the author of the Intel Temperature Guide - I can fully appreciate how much work went into creating this outstanding article, which has been sorely needed! The only utilities I've ever found that come as close as possible to 100% TDP are Prime95 v26.6 Small FFT's as a steady workload for thermal testing, and Asus RealBench as a fluctuating workload for stability testing.Īlthough the topic of Prime95 (with and without AVX) was covered, I would like to have seen RealBench included in your test suite,since it's widely accepted as an excellent utility for testing overall system stability, and uses a realistic AVX workload. Nevertheless, our results are very similar. The Intel Temperature Guide differs in its approach toward the topic of processor Core temperatures and cooling with respect to Intel's TDP specifications, and distinguishes between steady workloads for thermal testing versus fluctuating workloads for stability testing. This article provides a perspective and some excellent comparisons. As the author of the Intel Temperature Guide - I can fully appreciate how much work went into creating this outstanding article, which has been sorely needed!
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anti-metaverse · 2 years
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A very long letter for Dr. Robert Lanza whose contact information I cannot find
Dear Dr. Lanza,
Thank you for your steadfast commitment to the principle of Biocentrism. I have been following your work since the early 90’s and it’s marvelous to see that your ideas and career have continued to flourish, and that the world has indeed become more receptive to your theory.
 I just finished reading your latest, The Grand Biocentric Design, and I will be honest, my intuition is why I’m writing this letter to you right now. It’s a long story, but the crux as your work is concerned relates to your palpable frustration at points in the book when you discuss attempts to merge quantum and classical physics, now that you’ve cemented the creative nature of energy itself. I’m here to pass on this: the desire of science to break down and separate and define and control all matter and data is civilizational thinking, and quantum energy cannot be understood with this kind of rationality.
 Life itself is an energetic duality, operating according to both quantum and classical rules at the same time. Our classically defined body navigates the physical, wave collapsed world according to the laws of classical physics. Our quantum self deals in intuition, emotion, personality, memory, values, spirituality, etc. – all the intangible and enigmatic things that have no energetic correlate in the classically defined physical world. Our quantum selves are the alchemists that turn neurotransmitters and hormones into thoughts and feelings, into ideas we can potentially act on in the physical, classically defined world, although only within our evolutionary intelligence. It’s why we see echoes of entanglement, superposition, multiple worlds, and time travel in biological and geological systems. I think researchers might find that all the non-corporeal, unmeasurable aspects of the classical world arise from quantum “personality” and attributes. For instance, have you ever stopped to wonder at the implications of every equation needing to be balanced to be true, and how that need for balance is reflected in the nature of energy itself, whether mineral, biological or emotional? What is balance, really? A universal joining/stabilizing force like gravity, only quantum in nature?
 You are right that we are all one, autonomous but interconnected; it’s our quantum selves that enable us to experience interconnectedness and transcends the sensory understanding of our classical physical bodies. It’s what allows us to hold conversations in our minds with loved ones who have passed away and what makes us feel choked up with awe when we see the aurora borealis or hear the Ode to Joy. It holds our belief and is the source of the voice of intuition and our cultural sense of god, which I suspect is the human experience of a sort of collective consciousness. It’s why faith healing and placebos sometimes work. It’s what creates dreams and ghosts. 
The things that give life meaning are all the doing of the quantum aspect of our innate bodily energy, Dr. Lanza, and my gut tells me this process defies rational explanation because it must. It can’t be pinned down or quantified any more than love or hope can be. It is a moving target, like happiness. No lab experiments will be able to capture it because the workings of a creative being can’t truly be understood unless it’s embedded in the system of its co-creation. Context always, always matters as we are discovering through our planetary environmental woes, all of which happened on the watch of civilizational science. Accepting and learning from our dual nature is the future of physics, and maybe psychology and every other human endeavor. The silo-ing of human knowledge is a civilizational trick that has created great circles of power and ego and lots of exchange of Capital, but it does not serve the ongoing co-creation of our living biosphere. Wrapping our heads around the squishiness of quantum energy’s reach in the classical physical world will change the way we see ourselves and the biosphere around us.
Does this seem too simple? The truth usually is, Dr. Lanza. I suspect you have considered this possibility and dismissed it because it doesn’t fit into what you “know” to be true, because it can’t be measured, because the implications are too complicated and profound. Through science, Civilization has invested a lot in disconnecting humanity from our species knowledge of the biosphere and our own nature. (If you like history, Michel Foucault has some stunning insights in his work.) Once one starts thinking in terms of quantum selves and evolutionary intelligence and balance, it becomes obvious why the artificial systems of modern civilization seem to be breaking down: the way we live in no way honors our evolutionary intelligence or the balance of the biosphere that created us as we created it. That we can adapt endlessly is a message of Civilization. Now that I recognize it, my quantum/intuitive self can feel the cost of our wrong-headedness, our long focus on the classical, material world at the expense of the balance of this entire interconnected energetic world.  This deep sense of knowing demands that I act, so here I am. When enough people feel this, the world will change. The biosphere will have a chance. Humanity will have a chance. If any living scientist is capable of discovering ways to reveal these truths, it’s you.
With love and luck,
Liz
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thesundanceghost · 3 years
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Black Sails II // John Knowles, A Separate Peace
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echo-of-sounds · 3 years
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daddy dom
Headcanons on the types of Daddy Dom Aizawa, Gang Orca, and Hound Dog are. 
I was going to include all six guys in this but it got so much longer than I initially planned. Toshi, Hizashi, and Fatgum are coming tomorrow!
Warnings: Daddy Dom relationship, (the rest is only mentioned, there’s no real detail) punishments, choking, slapping, spanking, spitting, hair pulling, and rough sex
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Aizawa Shouta
Shouta had an inkling he was interested in dominance when he started having sex. The Daddy Dom surfaced after a one-night stand happened to moan ‘Daddy.’ He enjoyed it, looked into the subject deeper, and realized that’s exactly what he wanted, needed. However, he hasn’t had a relationship where he’s felt comfortable enough or been in one long enough to practice it. 
As your relationship develops, it is something he brings up because he isn’t shy about it. He wants to be your Daddy. He wants to be his girl’s protector and her anchor. He praises you when you’re doing well. He says how proud he is. He loves and cuddles you on your bad days. When you’re crying and scared, he’s right beside you, huddling you to his chest, protecting you from whatever you fear. 
Pet names are a rarity. On the odd occasion a good girl slips out, it’s a telltale sign he’s in a highly dominant mood. You’re expected to listen, do what you’re told, and say, ‘please and thank you.’ To make you feel fluttery and happy, he’ll call himself Daddy as he’s helping you.
Kitten is even more limited. He uses it when you dress up in the pink lingerie he bought you. It has a little collar with a bell, a cat-eared headband, garter bands, and cute, frilly panties and bra. There’s also a cat tail butt plug you can play with. But there’s a catch- there’s depreciation. If you use it too much, he isn’t as excited and it’s clear to see. You need to keep the lingerie away until you’re in dire need of your Daddy and a good fucking.
He takes pride and joy in seeing your smile at a new, fancy bracelet or an adorable teddy bear. But he’s uncertain when buying. He knows what you like, yet he just can’t decide on which dress you’d prefer. Despite his self-doubts, his presents are usually excellent, especially any soft, thigh-high stockings or cute, striped panties he brings home.
Though you won’t ever be able to tell, sometimes it is hard for Shouta to discipline you. He enjoys your bratty moods and how you ignore his commands to sit still. Your whimpers and whines and facial expression are incredibly cute. But at the end of the day, he is your Daddy and it’s his responsibility to keep you on track and provide stability. His go-to punishment is no orgasming… for a long time. You can’t touch yourself or grind on a pillow. If you beg, it’ll only extend the punishment. Occasionally, spanking is also used, particularly when you’re riding him and not listening.
Highly dominant doesn’t always mean rough. Yes, he is that most of the time. But he has periodic moods where he won’t use discipline. It’s when he’s in a coddling mood. Daddy becomes gentle, erotic, intent, and intimate. Don’t hold back your moans. Please, whine and whimper and fuss and mewl. Your soft cries and little wriggles please him so. 
When he is rough, you’ll be leaving red streaks down his back. He loves seeing them in the mirror the next morning, so he strives to get you that aroused and pleasured every time. And nothing is truly off the books for him. Whatever you wish, he’ll command: slapping, spanking, choking, hair pulling, and spitting.
Shouta is more of a nonverbal Daddy. Both of you know he’s dominant and it’s your job to behave, so he doesn’t feel the need to command you as much as others may. He just yanks your body around as he pleases, slaps and chokes you when you don’t listen or get off-topic, and spits on your tongue to get you to quiet down. Now that doesn’t mean he won’t talk. At your misdoings, his steeled voice is gruff and guttural, commanding, punishing, and asking what you did wrong. 
Daddy gets even more domineering when you cum without permission. That’s the one rule you should never break. If he’s feeling charitable (which is rarer than a blue moon), he’ll let you cum. Other times, he’s deepthroating you, cumming down your throat, and making you swallow it. And that’s all you’ll get. Again, don’t beg. That’ll worsen the punishment. All you can do is be a good girl and hope he lets you cum in the next few days.
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Gang Orca
Kugo never considered himself a Daddy or any sort of dominant man in general. The few times he’s had sex, he was more on the submissive side, letting his partner lead and ride him as they wished. His fear of hurting his partner really held him back. However, the instant he hears you softly, weakly whine Daddy, gently pawing his chest, pining for him to make you feel good, the switch is flicked and there’s no going back.
Before he fully engages in the Daddy Dom relationship, he does a lot of reading and asks you question after question. If he ever hurt you or pushed past your limits, he’d all but die inside. You need to ease into it. Let him become accustomed to the power dynamics, the dirty talking, what’s expected from him, and the lifestyle.
In the beginning, he’s as sweet as can be. You’re his little one whom he loves to spoil. He buys you dainty panties, comfy sweaters, and dresses for every occasion. You should always model clothing for Daddy. He’ll appreciate your appreciation. As you turn around in a cute, lace nightgown, his fingers flow up your thighs, caressing between them, gently brushing along your new panties, making sure everything fits perfectly. 
He gradually leans into the discipline aspect as the relationship grows. Once comfortable with himself and you, the punishments come frequently. They depend on the severity of your bad behavior. If you don't listen, you don’t get sweets. If you didn’t listen twice, you have extra chores to do. If you didn’t listen three times, no sexual gratification of any kind for however long Daddy deems necessary. 
In spite of that, he is a weak Daddy when it comes to his little one. Your puppy-dog eyes burrow into his heart. Your wiggling thighs get him heated. Your little mewls for your Daddy’s attention haunt him. But he doesn’t give in all the time. He still has structure, stability, and dominance to uphold.
Kugo is truly a safe Daddy. He’s your secret place where your every thought, desire, emotion, and fear will always be heard, understood, and respected. Whatever you tell Daddy when you’re curled up on his chest, snuggled in his arms, stays with Daddy. He guides you through the crowded mall, nurses the cuts on your legs, acts as an anchor through depression and anxiety, and protects you from the rumbling thunder. And by God, is he protective. 
Protectiveness is his main characteristic. He wants you to wear his T-shirt and sweatshirts. When he cums, he seats himself fully insides, letting him empty out completely. His hands rub your lower stomach like he’s feeling his property. Even as he falls flaccid, he stays inside. He needs to make sure everything has drained. If he could, he’d keep you filled with his seed forever.
Tender, slow sex involves you riding Daddy. He squeezes your thighs and tummy as you bounce. He praises every movement, every part, every itty-bitty sound. Your passion is so important to him. Seeing your body seek out its pleasure and rapture in the safety of your own little world fills his heart with love.
Dominant Daddy is less common yet so fulfilling. His thick, wet tongue washes deep. Fingers spread you wide. His erection spreads you further. You’ll be thrown on the bed, stuck under him for multiple beautiful orgasms. As you cum, moan ‘thank you’ again and again. Your gratitude encourages him. He’ll keep you moaning into the morning. 
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Hound Dog
The second Ryo entered that seriously horny stage of puberty, he knew his dominance. As he started having sex, it only flourished. He’s rough, fast, controlling, and one-hundred percent, hands down a brat tamer. Your whines and protests are cute, but he always wins. Hearing his rasping, growling voice is enough to get you to concede to his demands.
Aftercare and any delicate aspects will take time and learning on his part. He wants to be so gentle, caring, and sweet with you. His natural rough nature gets in the way. As any good Daddy is patient with his little girl, a good girl needs to be patient with him. And when he gets there, he gets there. You’ll be swaddled in a warm blanket, given candy and drinks, and your favorite bed-time Tv will play while you wind down. His warm, smooth tongue laps over bruises and scratches.
There’s one big thing about this Daddy: God, he just loves to watch you suck: him (specifically his foreskin), his fingers, your fingers, a lollipop, a pacifier, whatever. Lay on his chest, wrapped in a blanket, and nurse on a binkie as you fall asleep. The most common way sex starts is with a blowjob. It commonly ends that way as well. He either makes you finish him with no pleasure for you or, after you’re finished, he lays you down and deepthroats you.
Right off the bat, punishments are a main part. There’s a written list on the fridge you must obey. Though he doesn’t spank. You might act up just to get spanked, and he won’t have that. The discipline always matches the offense. Are you back talking? You’re eating something you don’t like. Is your temper too hot? You’re taking an ice-cold shower for five minutes. Are you ignoring him? Daddy’s going to rile you up then leave you hanging and whining, showing you what it’s like to be neglected.
After the punishment is complete, Ryo transitions right into aftercare. Daddy loves you enough to punish you. That love is strengthened after by his licks and kisses. Besides, Daddies who don’t show their little girl compassion and care afterward, aren’t good Daddies. He loves and respects you and wants you to know, see, and feel that.
And the punishments never push past your boundaries. You’re never put in danger. In any way. The safe word is always available. He won’t give you food you truly can’t handle for whatever reason. He’s right beside you as you shower just in case something goes wrong. The moment the water’s shut off, you’re immediately swathed in a cozy towel.
During one of his more… inflamed moods, you’re fastened in a collar. It’s pink with little flowers. The heart decoration on the front is a padlock. Only he has the key. It has ‘Daddy’s Girl’ inscribed on the back. It goes on as soon as you get home. And it stays on until you leave. There is a leash he’ll use if you aren’t behaving, holding, leading, and controlling all your movements.
There are times when he goes into (sort of) a heat. It could be a quirk side effect. It could just be him. Either way, you’re going to get completely dominated. Your hair will be pulled. Your throat will be choked and fucked. Your cheeks, both sets, will be red and raw. Scratch marks and dark bruises will stain your neck, legs, and back.
His favorite is any doggy-style position. It’s carnal and crude. Daddy has total authority since his weight bears down, caging you to the bed. Use your voice. Let him hear every gasp and cry. Beg for him. Plead for more. Pray for just one more orgasm as your hair’s tugged and clit’s smack sore. The harder you crave, the harder he thrusts.
Sweet sex is a rare time when he kisses and cuddles. Heat surrounds you. Muscled thighs and callused hands direct your weak, longing body. His tongue never leaves your mouth, licking over yours, causing drivel to drip down your chin. It may not be rough, but the sincerity and intimacy provide more than enough pleasure for an amazing orgasm. And Daddy passionately walks you through it.
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starbornsinger · 3 years
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Elriel/Gwynriel/Elucien Theory Time :)
Ok so in regards to the Az POV chapter, I have some thoughts. This is super long and detailed and also tearing down ships, so uh, beware.
⚠️ACOSF spoilers (duh)⚠️
So I was re-reading the thing and as I was reading the conversation between Az and Rhys, it kind of hit me. I used to be an Elriel shipper until ACOSF, and I was really all for it.
But I don't think they're in love.
See, earlier in the chapter, Az is thinking about how jealous he is of the other couples. We know he isn't very lucky in love, and seeing Elain and her mate and their mating bond upsets him. I think he fancies Elain because she's beautiful and sweet, but I don't think he's in love with her. I think she's another thing he can't have, and he feels frustrated and it only makes him want her more. Because he thinks, why shouldn't he have her? Why is the Mother so cruel as to deny him love? And he thinks, "well all my other brothers have Archeron mates, why don't I? It must be a mistake!"
I think what Azriel's biggest issue is though, is that he wants love so bad, he's willing to risk it all for the first girl he feels attraction too. It also feels relevant that the primary thing we see in his POV is his physical attraction to her, his sexual attraction. We don't see much of how he thinks she's so sweet or so clever or so gentle, but instead how nice her tits are and how badly he wants to kiss and fuck her. I think he doesn't particularly want Elain, and while he likes her, I think what he really wants is love. True love, just like his brothers and friends. He thinks the Mother must be wrong because they both got Archeron sisters while he didn't, and his attraction to Elain makes him wish they were Mates so he could finally have that true love that's entirely his own.
But she's not. And he can't. I think what Azriel wants most isn't Elain. He wants her sexually, and he admires her and has a crush on her, but the thing he focuses on and gives him the most emotion is that she has a Mate and he doesn't, and that everyone does but him. I think he wants someone like Elain and wants to feel happy, but I think he doesn't exactly want Elain. When he thinks of her, he doesn't seem to be truly in love as we've seen other SJM couples are. And sure, it's early, but it's also been like— 2 years. I don't think they're in love sadly, I think Azriel just wants to move on from Mor and finally find love. He has a type, and when he found someone who loosely fit into the mold of his ideal partner, he jumped at it because he's desperate to have someone love him. All his life, he's struggled with self-love and love from others, and I think that it's deeply affected his relationship with love itself.
Physical attraction and desire and interest isn't love. And the idea of her being mated already only makes him mad— that of course the first girl he likes for the first time in 500 years, of course the girl that could help him move on from Mor, is mated. I think that only makes him feel more passionate towards her; and Rhys notes how he seems to think he has a claim to her, when he doesn't. It makes Az angry, not because Rhysand thinks he's being possessive and reckless, but because it's true. He genuinely can't have her.
As for Elain, I think she's far too hesitant to be with him. She reminds me of Daisy in The Great Gatsby, and how she claims to love Jay but she won't leave Tom, or jilt him. Now this is a different situation, because Daisy was selfish and didn't want to give up her comforts and stability and fame. Elain, on the other hand, doesn't seem ready to have a serious relationship with Az. I think she is still severely affected by Graysen's rejection, and is still clearly not over him. I don't think she's ready to accept Az fully and be with him, and I also don't think she's ready to reject her mating bond with Lucien.
I don't know 100% what's going on with Elain, but what I do know is that clearly she is intrigued by Lucien in some capacity. Ok Elriel shippers, don't come for me, but there are several scenes in which Elain seems to want to talk to Lucien, or whatever the heck. But also seems disinterested, like when she dismisses his Solstice gifts and doesn't speak to him.
However, I don't think she's resentful towards him exactly, or at least that isn't the main reason she's like this. While we know he was helping Tamlin lowkey, Feyre and the IC all understood he was on their side, and was their friend. So it seems kind of odd to still bear a grudge against him, but who knows.
But funnily enough, she has yet to reject their mating bond. If she's so disinterested, or hates him so much, why hasn't she turned him down? Mother, she's barely spoken to him at all. I think the obvious reason behind her disdain or distancing from Lucien is her connection to Graysen and her human life. Of all the sisters, Elain has not yet adapted to or accepted that she is Fae— or if she has, she's sure as hell not happy about it. Even Nesta in ACOSF mentioned how she actually likes her ears now, and we know Feyre has totally accepted being Fae. But with Elain, she had the most human connected life of them all, and to have it taken away from her is shitty.
For Elain, her happiness seems to come from a love of gardening, of family, of people. She has very little human things to hold onto, and adding a Mating bond to the mix right as she's made Fae is like she's had all her humanity stripped. She doesn't hate Lucien, she hates the bond. She dislikes that it's chained her to someone and taken away her choices, which we know is a big deal for the sisters after being imprisoned, kidnapped, and Made. I think Elriel is an infatuation, because even though she doesn't love Az, he's helping her rebound from Graysen (and giving her control and power over her love life). He's a choice she (can't really) make, but a choice nonetheless. With Lucien, she feels she has no choice with him, and no control over her obvious attraction I say obvious because mates have a primal attraction of some level to each other , and is probably afraid that accepting the Mating bond will remove any last connections she has to who she used to be, and the human she feels she really is.
But she also hasn't rejected it, because I think she realizes that Lucien is a genuine and kind and hot guy, and that rejecting him would be a stupid idea. He's been very patient and very kind and accepting, and has always given her the freedom of choice when it comes to the bond. I think Lucien is the kind of guy that would be very easy to fall in love with, and I think Elain sees that and knows it.
Also, I think with ACOSF, it feels relevant that Cassian pointed out specifically how Elain looked beautiful in black at the ball, but it looked horribly wrong on her. With SJM the devil is always in the details, and I think it was a clearly accentuated bit of symbolism. Although Elain looks beautiful, the black dress wasn't for her. And although Elriel is very sweet, it won't work out. She won't thrive in the Night Court, or with Azriel. Az doesn't challenge her or meet her as an equal (like all other SJM ships), and they don't push each other to be better or to accept themselves or whatever etc etc.
And I really used to like Elriel, but I think that surprisingly, Elain will be the one who says "stop, I can't do this" to Az. I think she knows she isn't ready, and I think she knows they aren't meant to be. Even if a Mating bond was put in place between her and Lucien, I still think their relationship wouldn't work because they're both too insecure, too closed off, too non-communicative, and too stagnant together to be a healthy or good match. I think with Elain they would struggle to understand each other even if they were fond of each other and can relate on some level, but at its rawest form I think they won't truly be able to be themselves with each other.
With Elain, Azriel's shadows— a key part of him— disappear. While I initially thought, awww that's so cute, she's a light in his life, I soon realized I was wrong. Az's shadows are not just a part of him, they're an extension of him, of his will and subconscious and emotions. So Elain chasing them away, while chasing away the shadows and darkness seems cute, isn't a good thing. Most of the time with shadows, we think "ew bad!" Because they have an inherent connotation of negativity or sorrow or depression or darkness etc etc. And while this is partially true, Azriel's shadows and darkness are a part of him. His sadness and struggles are a part of him. And his shadows aren't just representative of that, they're also a representation of how he overcame his abuse and turned that fire (pun unintended) and anger and trauma into something beautiful and powerful and a weapon. I think they can serve as an armor and a shield, and while that's not good, I also don't think they should fully disappear.
More on that: with Azriel's shadows, we know they're a part of him, right? So I think an important part of self is self-regulation. Rather than be consumed entirely by shadow, or totally exposed to the light, I think he just needs his shadows to be calm and present, but not controlling or hiding. I think the whole "Elain bringing him out of the shadows" bit sounds cute at first, but then you have to think of it like this. In order to be with Elain, he would have to change. He couldn't be a spy or a shadowsinger or a torturer, and he couldn't be dark and introverted. With her, he has to push that aside. Those are key parts of him, key parts that would have a big impact on their relationship. Elain can't be with someone with so much blood on their hands or a history of violence or darkness. We know that, because we know that sort of thing upsets her and she doesn't like it.
Azriel can't just be himself with her, he has to become someone else. And while he's attracted enough to not care, after awhile, that grows exhausting. Being in love and not being your true self, all of it, is exhausting. And while some might argue "why can't he be his true self?!" well my slime, I think we both know that even if we wanted him to, Elain would be silently resigned about it. I don't think— no, I know— Elain can't be with someone like Azriel. Even if they have feelings, even if they have lust or affection, it isn't love. They aren't in love, and they won't work out no matter how much we want it to.
Onto Elain: with Elain, this all ties back to what Cassian said in Hewn City. She looks beautiful in black, but it's wholly wrong for her. The Night Court is wrong for her, and darkness is wrong for her. While some yin-yang relationship tropes can work very well, I don't think this will. She doesn't like the darkness or accept it, and she doesn't want to be a part of it. I think the Night Court is good and happy for her when she makes her own little garden world, and only then, really. It's like living in the middle of the desert and only thinking of the beach: it's not the right place for her.
I think the Spring Court needs her, and I think she needs it. Here's more on that.
So we've seen the set up and execution of the fall of the Spring Court. We know that it's in shambles and is weak and needs a new/better leader than Tampon. I feel like SJM is setting things up for a new book focused in the Spring Court, because in a lot of ways, it's becoming the centerpiece for action in Prythian (aside from the Night Court). I genuinely believe that as Tamlin's second, Lucien will take over the Spring Court as High Lord. He doesn't fit in with Autumn, didn't fit in with Night, and wasn't really a part of Spring. But with Spring, it was where he was happy, where he felt safe, and the home he chose. Chosen homes and chosen families are a big deal for SJM, and I think that Lucien will return to the Spring Court to try and help it, because Mother knows it needs it. I think Elain belongs there, not only because she needs to be in an environment suited to her, but because she needs to heal.
We've seen a theme of helping others heal in order to heal ourselves, and I think a good book idea (and what I think an Elain book would be about), is healing the Spring Court and helping it. Elain is a gardener. She wants to see things grow and blossom, wants to get her hands dirty and dig in! But she can't do that in the NC. I think she needs something new and fresh and blossoming that she can help and tend to, and I think the person that can be at her side for that is Lucien. I think with Azriel, she can't see growth and life and flowers. He's a different kind of person, far too different, and the two wouldn't mesh well. Elain isn't like Persephone and Azriel isn't like Hades; although she's flowers and he's death and they're attracted to each other, they don't fully accept those roles and cross into each other's. Elain could never be a killer or someone who wears black or thrives in a darker place, and Azriel couldn't be someone who is in the full heat of the light and wear bright colors and be cheerful and flowery. In a dream world, yes, but I think in this one, no. SJM loves to create realistic relationships and realistic relationship conflict, and I think we'll see this here. Even though they want it to work, and in theory it should, it won't. I think they know it too. Azriel's shadows vanish when she's around, and Elain struggles to feel comfortable in the darkness and Night Court, and fit in with the others in the black dress that is wholly un-Elain.
I also think that this relationship doesn't bring development to the table. The forbidden love concept is adorable and a trope I love, but this love isn't one that will push them to grow. Azriel can feel loved and happy, but can he feel fully accepted? Can he stop being ashamed of his shadows, of his violence? Of who he is? Can Elain break out of her shelf and be more assertive, and truly grow and change? Can she be herself and be happy? The answer is a sad no. Their relationship is sweet and cute, but it won't truly work. I genuinely believe Lucien is a better match for Elain, and while the Cauldron isn't always right (like Rhysand's parents), it usually is. If he isn't, then I'm all for independent Elain.
Now onto the moment you've all been waiting for: who should Az be with?
Gwyn. :)
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the-slasher-files · 3 years
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Slashers React - S/O being a witch or wiccan
INCLUDES JASON, MICHAEL, BO, BILLY & STU and LOST BOYS
btw I am a wiccan myself so I hope you enjoy the hcs :)
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JASON VOORHEES
Holy fucking shit, you guys are a POWER COUPLE, never in my life have a thought of a better couple
He may not understand at first but once you explain it to him he adores it. Abiding by the laws of nature is something he already does, so the fact that you do too and share a lot of the same opinions of nature, melts his heart
Clearing a little area in the forest making sure it is hidden away for your alter is a dream job for him
Nature walks all the time but it has more meaning now, knowing you’re a wiccan or witch
Herb, flower, mushroom or plant picking is something he will always do for you, leaving them at your alter
LOOK he found a cool rock or a weird piece of drift wood or animal skull, perfect for you :) 
Finds it very sexy when you are doing witchcraft, especially if it’s in the forest 
You would slow dance to the rain and light candles everywhere
Gardening would quickly turn into one of his favorite hobbies with you
Teaching him about the holidays you celebrate gives him reasons to spoil you on those days, he would bake with you, make potions with you, bring in your moon water in the early morning for you
Your crystals are his favorites, all the pretty colors and unique patterns, he might steal one and carry it around with him, rubbing it when he misses you
Anything you do to appreciate his land and the cabin you share makes his undead heart flutter
The absolute best partner for a witch or wiccan 
The crystal that suits him is an Amethyst - It is a grounding stone, bringing peace and calmness but is one of the best protection stones
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MICHAEL MYERS
Major head tilt, squints  
Once you explain it him he still doesn’t get it, and he doesn’t care
He will just examine your stuff, poking it and moving it around pissing you off
oh great, more holidays to celebrate
Secretly thinks it is kind of cool, but he will never tell you
Maybe thinks you’re a little crazy because he heard some other person in the mental hospital going on and on like you do 
If you tell him he is blessed and has gifts he will have a hard time accepting that, but he would think about it forever because there had to be an explanation for how he could never die
He will bring you home something from a cemetery probably because he still doesn’t get it 
He will just stare from the shadows of a candle lit room watching you do spell work 
When he's pissed beyond reason, never sage him, never place crystals on him, never get him to drink tea, you might die
He will find a crystal in his coverall pockets for protection and he will never give it back to you, it’s his now and he will cherish it 
The crystal that suits him is Black Obsidian - It is a pure black stone that has a mysterious aura, heavily used for protection, it is also a very powerful stone, good for healing and truth seeking
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BO SINCLAIR  
Again, another bad partner for this lol
You’re a what?? He has heard of witches before but never wiccans. Coming from Louisiana it has a very heavy history on witches and voodoo, good and bad. He honestly might be shitting his pants inside but keeps it cool, just please tell him you’re a good witch. His momma always told him to never ever mess with witches.
Thinks you’re crazy for believing in that stuff
If you feel the presence of his mom and dad, never bring it up to him, the only way you could do it is say “You’ve got some angels looking over you Bo” and leave it at that
You will make him learn to appreciate nature and taking him for walks is the best thing to do, it calms him and you can teach or tell him stories about what you believe in
He would tell Lester to grab some antlers or skulls for your “ummm idk what she does, she just needs them”
If you’re in some lingerie while doing witchy work, he will ease into it more
Bo would be the guy who yells about the sage smoke stinking up the house, while he is smoking a cigarette, b a s t a r d 
Jokes about his bad energy filling your alter will happen a lot
He honestly thinks its cool though, after a while, seeing a beautiful powerful soul doing something you love warms his heart
He’s going to try to understand but he will laugh and make fun
If there are people in town he’s going to hunt that night, he will have to deal with you placing some sort of protection rune, stone or necklace either in his pocket or around his neck, Bo won’t like it at first but showing you care so much for him melts his heart and he will protect it with his life 
His crystal is Smokey Quartz - It is used for strength and fortifies nerves, protection, a stone that represents Pride, but also brings calmness which we all know he needs!! The smokiness of it just reminds me of the colour of alcohol or his cigarette smoke   
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BILLY & STU       
Both genuinely curious and love it
They don’t really understand it but they are willing and ready to try
Taking you on nature walks probably wont be as relaxing as they promised; Stu will climb a weird tree and end up hurting himself, then you will find some neat looking mushrooms and they dare each other to eat it
Find it hot but are a little spooked 
Billy would hate the smell of sage but Stu doesn’t mind it all 
They find it sweet when you try to put protection stones in their pockets when they go to kill
Stu will bring you an average rock from the sidewalk and say hey this is neat, here you go 
They are defiantly into trying witchcraft with you
Stu will love your home made teas 
Billy will never make a big deal about what you do, he just thinks it is neat and willing to go get whatever you need for your work, and ngl he is more interested in dark magic 
They will defiantly interrupt you will you are meditating or doing spell work so always try to do it when they aren’t home
Will ask if you could do tarot readings on them and if you use a crystal ball 
The crystal for them is Jade - a good protection and supportive stone, seeks love, passion and nourishment. It is also good for dreams and astral projection    
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THE LOST BOYS
They are no strangers to the supernatural of course but they don’t know what a witch is beyond what they’ve seen in movies
I feel it would be very 50/50 on caring or not, this stuff isn’t even on their radars 
Dwayne, I think would handle it the best. (correct me if I am wrong) He is of Native American descent, so he has heard lots of stories about shamans and he is the most spiritual out of all the boys   
Once they see you doing spell work or setting up an alter they are much more interested 
If you are already turned, you are arguably one of the most powerful, David will not admit it but he knows it
Marco will 100% bring you random things he likes, not at all related to witchcraft but he thinks it could be, man doesn’t get it
David finds you extremely sexy, him and Dwayne will probably be the only ones that actually get it, and David loves the power
They pretty much just leave you to it 
A lot of moon and shadow work will be your main witchcraft with them
If you are cleansing the cave with sage Paul and Marco will make drug jokes and ask to smoke some  
ngl I think Paul might be the most scared of you, but he will never show it, He doesn’t understand it and thinks you going to spray him with holy water or make him have nightmares 
Dwayne will be the one to take you to the surrounding forests and go on some nature walks with you, collecting what you need
David - black tourmaline: a very powerful protection stone, pure black, great for purification and helping with anger. Star - rose quartz: the stone of love and purity, heals the heart, and dissolves worry and fear turning those feelings into love. Marco - Emerald: a crystal just as blue as his eyes. A stone of hope, encouragement and joy, turns negative energy into strength, love and compassion. Dwayne - fire agate: This stone has a very deep connection the earth radiating calm, stability and strength, also very good for power and protection. Paul - rutilated quartz: a crystal that seeks truth and authenticity, giving strength to the truest souls and uplifts and brings joy.       
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baelpenrose · 3 years
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Fallout Thoughts - Caesar, ahistorical bullshit, pulp fiction, faux-intellectualism, and the way the Legion apes a cultural misremembering of Roman culture that traces to an author most of you have probably never heard of.
This one's for you @adifferenttime
There's three things about me that are relevant to this post and we'll get to the third one part way through. But the first two are relevant up front. Thing about me everyone who follows me on this site knows because I never shut up about it and it's in my damnass bio: I'm a historian. Thing about me that people who have followed me for a bit know but aren't as immediately obvious: I am also a fallout fan. Caesar claims the Legion is "a nationalist, imperialist, totalitarian, homogenous culture that obliterates the identity of every group it conquers. Long-term stability at all costs. The individual has no value beyond his utility to the state, whether as an instrument of war, or production." This is not Rome. In no way is this Rome. "The Individual has no value beyond his utility to the state, whether as an instrument of war or production" is not Rome, it's Sparta. Rome also never obliterated the identity of every culture it came into contact with - it actually prided itself on assimilating the knowledge of everyone it absorbed and adapting the best parts of each. His rejection of technology is also fucking absurd - Romans believed their willingness to advance was one of the reasons they were conquering everything, it was a sign of roman greatness - Caesar sees it as only bringing weakness. That's not the only aspect of the Legion that's closer to Sparta than it is to Rome either - while Rome was brutally ableist, it was not eugenicist. The NCR mention that every legion soldier they see is "a near perfect physical specimen" and we see evidence that the legion start training in childhood.
Sgt. Boyd says that the Legion soldiers slit their own throats when they are at risk of being captured - again, not a Roman behavior.
Legionaries retreated all the time - standard legion doctrine was to retreat when you lost over a third of your troops, because it was better to live to fight another day than to piss away men, metal and money on a point of pride. Spartans were the ones so thoroughly indoctrinated that they pretty much suicided whenever it looked like they might be captured and refused to retreat. Now, Spartans were nationalist, imperialist, fairly totalitarian, eugenicist, statist assholes, and militaristic ones, but they were NOT terribly imperialistic ones, dedicated to stability though they were, and Spartan women enjoyed comparatively large freedom compared to most of the ancient world - had a lot of civic power. So maybe, you're thinking, "Okay, Bael, you've made your point, Caesar took notes from both Rome and Sparta. It's a mix of both, some Roman misogyny, some Spartan military training, all that." Fuckin' NOPE. See, both Spartans and Romans were militarily a heavy-infantry focused force-structure, tactically speaking. Their forces were all about large groups of heavy-armored, shield-carrying infantry with spears and swords forcing the enemy into close-contact, face-to-face, direct combat where discipline and brutal main force was the determining factor of the battle. Maneuver was strategic - once tactical, (ie "in-battle movement") commenced, movement became limited and force was applied until one army was ground into submission by the other. Rome wanted to seize territory and control it to gain its resources and make use of them. To eradicate the people living there - save in extreme cases such as Carthage, where the Republic believed a point needed to be made in an extreme manner - would have defeated the purpose. The Legion does not do this. The Legion, tactically speaking, is a light-infantry force structure. Its troops are lightly armed, lightly armored, do not actually engage in prolonged engagements for any reason if they can avoid it, and rarely take or hold territory. They're fighting a guerrilla war - and they're fighting one of depopulation, terror raids, slave raids, and torch-and-burn destruction of infrastructure and food supply. In no way does it militarily operate the way Rome did, either. In addition, Rome, while it was more misogynistic than Sparta, did have women in roles of importance - particularly religious ones - that gave them genuine societal power. A far cry from the way that the Legion represents them. In addition, the male sex worker in West Side mentions that the Legion punishes homosexuality, where Rome was permissive, bordering on binormative - it was considered normal to the point of being almost expected that young people would experiment with their closest same-sex friends, though it was considered humiliating to be on the receiving end of penetrative sex from someone lower in a social hierarchy than you were. So where the actual fuck are Caesar's gender politics coming from? Well, a friend I respect quite a bit has argued they come from Gram, but even as misogynistic as Mormonism is - hell, as Christianity is - there are upper limits. Even within those extremes they wouldn't be as flagrant as the legionaries are in openly making remarks on the beauty of newly-captured slave women. Thomas Aquinas and more than a few other Christian theologians - ones I admit I respect very very little for my own personal reasons, some of which are philosophical and many of which can be boiled down to "many traumatic memories are directly related to a Catholic upbringing and I have some scores to settle with the Catholic Church," - make compelling theological arguments regarding why women should be subservient but not wholly degraded according to the laws of those faiths, and Gram seems like a person who would have kept comparatively true to his principles in that respect. No. Caesar is very much meant to echo faux-intellectuals who misunderstand Hegel in the way Neitzche did. He makes a number of other errors as well - the Legion's Latin pronunciations are all over the place between Gothic,
Classical, and anglicanized, more
or less according to rule of cool, and their grammar is frequently mediocre. Thing about me almost no one knows: One of my big guilty pleasures is old-school pulp fiction and fantasy. Like. Original Robert E. Howard Conan the Barbarian, Original H.P. Lovecraft, that kind of thing. Insanely problematic horseshit in them and all, there is something about the really unique, neurotic/visceral writing styles that I just really like, and that I feel has sort of gone out of the world with the death of pulp fiction magazines. I bring this up because we know that to some degree, we know that pulp fiction exists in the world of Fallout, and that the Legion is okay with it - or at least willing to overlook it - Aurellius of Phoenix has copies of Grognak the Barbarian in his office. Though, I will say speaking as a Conan the Barbarian fan, while "amazing for the 1930s" is still "racist and sexist as fuck by 2021 standards" it is NOT "advocating for mass genocide or forcible sex slavery for half the population" so we're going to have to look elsewhere for Caesar's gender politics, but we've gotten our first inroad. Now, I'm sure you're thinking, "Bael, what the FUCK does pulp fiction and this admittedly funny aside have to do with Caesar's gender politics" Well, you know how in previous fallout posts I have offhandedly referred to Caesar as a "John Norman Fanboy," and I am about to explain that derisive reference. See, back in the 1960s, there was this college professor named John Norman who also wrote pulpy shitty misogynistic bondage porn as a hobby. (If you were curious, he lost me at "misogynistic" I would have been fine with "pulpy" and depending on quality I'll give "pulpy smut" a shot but I digress). It was about this random douchebag who got isakai'd into an alternate world where his shitty absent dad had vanished to, where his dad trained him as a warrior and abruptly taught him how to survive in this awful social darwinist fuckfest of a planet more-or-less stuck in the iron age where men are more or less allowed to go around slave raiding whenever and whereever and whoever the fuck they feel like outside their own communities as part of normal masculine activity. Pretty much the entire story is framed around thin excuses to have horrible scenes of humiliating women and long antifeminist spiels of pseudo-philosophical dreck about why men are naturally dominant and women are supposed to want that. It more or less languished in humiliating obscurity because his writing style sucked if you aren't a psuedo-intellectual political science or philosophy major who read Nietzche between frat initiations, but it suddenly got super popular during the backlash against second-wave feminism. Here's the thing. This unbelievably shitty series had greco-roman aesthetics with none of the actual values of Greece or Rome. It, too, has a social-darwinist "Death before dishonor makes you a real man" bullshit thing going. It, too, had a completely culturally anachronistic disdain for homosexuality, AND a view that technology and modernism were corrupting people and making them weaker and less manly or good. AND. AND. The warrior caste of this idiotic fictional world fights almost entirely through light infantry tactics of throwing spears and fast, light attacks with swords and hand-axes, from ambush, carrying away women as slaves and fleeing away. Now, critically. This shitty series, on its own, is not that big a deal. But it IS the single cultural event that resulted in Roman slavery starting to be played for nigh-constant fanservice in almost every thing set in greece/rome. Much of the "oh that's just realistic" creepy memory of how everyone in rome was just into teenage girls? This shit. I cannot begin to emphasize just how much the popularity of this FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT THAT THIS ONE FUCKING PRICK WROTE has damaged popular memory of Rome because of how popular it got with white faux-intellectual proto-MRA fuckboys. But back to Edward Sallow. Does it strike anyone else as suspicious that a man who is a very clear
faux-intellectual has created an army - granted, one he skillfully commands, one wielded well - that operates on a faux-intellectual's understanding of Rome, from an author who has the same misunderstanding of Hegel, and apparently the same gender politics as he does? Sallow is a hypocrite and so much of NV is dedicated to showing us that he is a fraud - it wouldn't shock me if some of this was meant to indicate he only understands popular memory of Rome instead of the way it actually worked.
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arisoracle · 3 years
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Great Conjunction Reading for your sign🧞‍♀️
Hi! Happy December 21st! Heres a tarot reading for each of your zodiac sign, to get the most ACCURATE reading, check your rising sign because it will depict what will physically manifest in your life. 
Pisces: your intuition is SO SHARP and it is about to get even sharper, spend time with your family and your close connections. I feel like your intuition will help you a lot in the future, with job opportunities and finding new connections in your life. You seem to be very focused on your goals, but do not forget to trust your intuition because it is truly guiding you guys. There are many blessings coming your way when it comes to finances and intuition. 
Aries: Okay so, you are entering a very strict and honest energy. I feel like you guys may have had a lot of anxiety surrounding you, and you may be worrying about things in your life that have been unbalanced however I do see you cutting the cause of these stresses around you and you being more assertive, and selective with your energy. Remember, if something or someone does not add to your life-- they have no use of being there. 
Taurus: I feel like you guys may have been feeling bored lately, and you may be keeping to yourself a lot. I do see new opportunities coming your way when it comes to your finances, and stability. You may be very reserved and protective of your soul at the moment, and keeping to yourself for the most part. It is okay to be reserved and take time for yourself, but I do see stability coming your way just don’t stress yourself. 
Gemini: There is so much communication and manifestation coming your way, a lot of the stuff you are intending for or have intended for are coming your way, and be sure to set your intentions. I feel like your communication is very sharp at the moment, and your logic. Things may come your way very quickly and it may be quite unexpected for you when the blessings flow in. Remember to take your time, and not do everything so quickly. 
Cancer: alright so I am really seeing you guys going through a lot of internal transformations. You are keeping to yourself, and being reserved with your energy because I feel like other people’s energies and emotions may overwhelm y'all. I do see new love/flirting coming your way possibly some romance. But I see you guys revisiting past cycles INTERNALLY and going through a lot of personal introspection. Journaling may be good for you right now. 
Leo: You may have a lot of stability and commitment coming your way, and I see a lot of hope and inspiration for new ideas and goals. I do see you getting more in touch with your emotions, and there may be a masculine figure around you that is willing to offer you emotional fulfillment. You should use this energy to manifest, and set your goals or write them down for the new year as well. 
Virgo: there is something in your guys’ life which may be dragging you down, its a heavy toxic energy and deceptive. This may be causing you anxiety, it is telling you to not let this drag you because you need some time to keep to yourself. Remember, if something does not add to your life then there's no use for it. Remember to prioritize YOURSELF first. I feel like once you cut this energy out, things will be flowing in better for you guys. 
Libra: Okay so, you guys really have been through some harsh heartbreak! these lessons I feel like have stemmed from your past life, and it may be involving a fiery individual who was not giving you what you need. I feel like whatever happened was bound to happen, but dont beat yourself up. You guys are going through a lot of growth, and with that growth will come abundance. 
Scorpio: Your mind is very sharp at the moment, and there will be communication coming your way which will give you a lot of clarity. you may feel the need to meditate a lot, and keep to yourself so you can sort out your goals and inspiration in the future. Take the time you need, and possibly speak these things into existence. You guys have a strong connection to manifesting, so use the power to your advantage. 
Sagittarius: You guys are embodying a very sharp witted energy as well, I feel like you may have some burdens dragging you down and negative mindsets but I do see you releasing these and surrendering the the universe. Going with the flow, and seeing what opportunities lie around you. People are going to recognize your blunt and communicative energy, and you will be cutting a lot of things which may not be good for you out of your life. 
Capricorn: wow, you guys may have gone through a lot of disappointments in the past. Be honest with yourself, and how you feel about this. I suggest letting yourself feel your emotions and not beating yourself up. I feel like you guys will be trying to put down a lot of your anxieties, but it is important to put your mental health first. Also, your past disappointments don't define you as a person.
Aquarius: I see you guys getting to work and being very focused on your ambitions, and you may be getting more in touch with your playful and lighthearted side. I do see you guys being very committed and proud of yourself for how far you have come, which you guys should be. You guys may have been fighting hard for a long time, and working hard. Remember to take a break when you need to. 
I really hope you liked this! Remember, take whatever resonates to you. I wish everyone the best for this great conjunction, get good rest and hydrate and set your intentions!
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