#and its weird bc AS i was listening to it i was mostly focused on the. grief and sadness

[inf3ct3dd]

ellie headcanons ..!

warnings : literally none, perfectly sfw 😍😍

content: loser!ellie x reader, more ellie-focused than relationship focused (sorryyyy 😞😞)

authors note: i’ve literally never done headcanons omg 😓 this is js my random ramblings 🔥🔥🔥

pt. 2 ! taglist!!!! masterlist!!

- send you an excessive amount of reels. every 5 seconds. cute cats, random facts about space, stuff she thinks is funny, it all goes to you.

- definitely had a “rock collection” when she was little, but she was so ???? excessive with it??? like every time she saw a rock she picked it up. she walked so weird bc her pockets were just FULL OF ROCKS.

- also, was literally the grimiest kid ever. playing in ROLLING IN the mud, going snail hunting when it rained!!! she was the kid that would go in the bushes and mess w rolly pollies all the time for NO REASON.

- is weirdly good at fishing?? joel took her all the time, and shes a self proclaimed “fishing master”

- WAYYY clumsy. always running into a wall, tripping on air, or missing steps on the stairs (smh its cuz of that damn phone 😒😒)

- im so into the whole “adam sandler” fits cuz its so true. esp during the summer, its some stupid t shirt that says “master baiter” and a pair of old basketball shorts.

- speaking of t shirts, she’s def the type to own an absurd amount of dumb t shirts.

- gets all her clothes from like, walmart and goodwill. she does not CARE!!!

- cuts her own hair too 🤞🏽🤞🏽 shes soooo self sufficient 😍😍😍

- bites. she is such a biter.

- speaking of, i feel like she js has to have something in her mouth constantly. gum, random pieces of plastic, bottle caps, pens, anything 😞

- speaking of mouths (wow sierra so many connections!!!) she def had braces , but she hates wearing her retainer so her teeth are like ever-so-slightly fucked up

- is AMAZING at committing to the bit. she will drag it for DAYSSS if you don’t tell her to stop. once did a (awful) british accent for 4 days until you threw something at her and told her to shut the fuck up

- definitely not shy, just kind of…odd. she’ll talk to anyone that talks to her, she just doesn’t really approach people.

- weird obsession with pickles. has a pickle stuffed animal with a mustache and glasses that she bought from goodwill

- hangs up so much stuff on her walls!!!! tickets, old notes, cards, pictures of people, drawings, old tickets, literally anything she thinks looks cool

- obsessed with rollercoasters!!! she took you to the fair for your first date

- also like- very good at fair games. she’s so cocky about it too, you’ll go home with like 20 stuffed animals she won for you and she’ll carry ALL OF THEM with the stupidest smile on her face

- wears all of joels old contractor-workwear clothes during the colder months

- trys so hard to be “mysterious” but she’s never actually doing anything so she just does stuff like not telling you what movie she’s watching or what she’s eating

- also just texts you 24-7!!! like every time she’s doing something she’s like “i made a quesadilla” “i went to the store” “i took a shower” she just looooves keeping you updated

- tries to raise one eyebrow but ends up just squinting one eye. so funny 😞😞

- really good at solving rubix cubes???

- definitely had a fuck ass bob at one point

- GLASSES. that is all. glasses.

- listens to so much dad rock, midwest emo, indie, she LOVES male manipulator music!! but like she isn’t like thatttt shes so niceeee 😞😞

- mostly calls you babe/baby, she’ll call you really dumb pet names as a joke like “pookie” 😭😭

#loser!ellie #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams headcanons #ellie x y/n #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #modern au #lesbian

[ravenbloodshot]

Ji Chang Wook- Insecurities vs. Confidences

I saw in multiple interviews of JCW saying he doesn't find himself attractive so that's what inspired this reading

Insecurities

He may be insecure about taking photos/selfies. May feel awkward and uncomfortable at photo shoots, not really sure how to pose himself and show his best self

He might idolize men that have bigger muscles and abs, wishes he himself had them or just feels insecure being next to a buff man (I heard "wide shoulders" so that could be the thing he wants most)

He doesn't like it when his skin breaks out and he gets pimples, finds it to be very annoying to deal with and unattractive

He has problems feeling like a sunbaenim, he feels/acts too meek and humble around ppl in the industry, co stars etc.... So at times he thinks of himself as more of a rookie and not on the level of other prominent actors. The energy feels like he's seeing other actors act stoic, cold and regal (and he idolizes that) but he can't seem to turn himself into that kind of person, he's too personable and too much of a people pleaser to behave like the cold celebrity type. So he may feel like he's not on their level bc of this. Its basically imposter syndrome.

He's the type of person that if his life is going good, he would be waiting for the bad to show up.

When it comes to his looks, he's not particularly fond of the fact that he's considered a pretty boy mostly bc it messes with his acting gigs (aka his money). He's probably only seen as good for doing romance movies/dramas. Another thing is that he kind of focuses more on the negative vs the positive, meaning a million ppl in a comment section could be telling him he's god's gift to earth but one comment saying he's ugly could make him feel like shit.

His thoughts is his own worst enemy

In love: he fears coming on too strong. Which is a reasonable fear since I see he does come on too strong (too clingy and anal). Can be a bit much. He fears loving someone that doesn't love/want him. He fears being with someone that just wants him for clout or money

Confidences

He's confident about how pure and non corrupt he lives his life. He's not the type of celeb to get into scandals or be exposed for living a double life, he lives his life fairly and justly so he's confident in relaying that to the public and not feel like a fraud. I think he would be a guy that feels dirty/weird telling the public his life is happy or his marriage is happy when in reality its not.

He's proud of how far he's come without having to forget his morals or the people that have helped him succeed. He knows he's been through a lot, but now he's on top and he didn't have to do any grimy shit to get there

He likes how creative and ambitious he his. May still have a lot of goals/dreams he wants fulfilled not just in his career but in life, so he's confident that they can be fulfilled. Also, he likes that he still strives for more, still greedy for more even when he's accomplished so much. He still wants more. I wouldn't be surprised if he strives to win an Oscar (like most actors) but he more so gets a rush of adrenaline/passion thinking about him possibly getting such an award, it inspires him to keep going.

He trusts his intuition. Its steered him clear of a lot bad shit and close calls (its like if he was walking down the street absent mindedly and his gut just told him to cross the street and once he does a building collapses). He may have a strong intuition that has protected him from the worst of things that could've happened. So strong that even when he doesn't listen to his intuition, he listens to his intuition (if you get what I mean)

In love: he's confident when dealing with simple aspects of relationships like going out and conversing. He knows how to savor/cherish the simple things. He also does well not to go back to exes, for him, once the relationship is over....its over. There's no going back for him

Superstar by Lupe Fiasco is a song that fits this readings energy

#korean actor #ji chang wook #cancer sun #spotify

[skz-maybe-incorrects]

Here's A Little Get-To-Know-You Tag Game!

Tagged by: de wonderfulest ppl @noonaracha @straykidsgallery and @itsstraykids thank you sm!!! (go appreciate their cool point stories!)

Name(s): juni! is what i decided. some friends on this hellsite also call me solar so wtv u prefer. atp i just have a bunch of nicknames bcs i also have a Weird Name, A Weirder (Family) Nickname in real life

Pronouns: he/she/they/it<3 when i say feel free. pls and thank u

Star Sign: libra, right when it starts (and just a day after seungmin's!)

#of Siblings And Fun Facts About Them(if u have any): one (1) younger gremlin brother, and the funnest fact abt them is that he has been a walking directory of telephone no's since he was 4 and now can be relied upon to calculate large numbers inside his head in point seconds. Still hates physics(and most things theory)> by which, he also stores insane and inane amount of stats info (abt all types of things, but mostly sports) inside his head ready to be flourished at a moments notice, which is mildly impressive when ur 6 and debating with college students the scores of a game that happened 15yrs before u were born but not now when ur 17 and ppl are more focused on your test scores rather than ones u know, so</3 also has his birthday on changbin's but he doesnt know abt that

#of Pets: there's a history there. with fishes that my ma deceived me with on my 12th birthday(when i asked for a pet, i imagined smth i could hold) and then liked too much herself that we had them for 5yrs. three times; birds, but my brother kind of freed them while singing a lullaby with only me as an unbelieving witness. a dog (belovedest of em all) my dad picked from street as a puppy and who, then, had to be given away after 3yrs bcs of Stupid Reasons im still mad abt. now i just have street cats showing up at my front door to safekeep their babies on my staircase's isolated nooks till they grow up and vanish and street dogs who believe i have endless supplies of treats and show me sad faces when i dont. i really want a pet</3 but for now im contending with pictures of kitties whose moms operate on strict 'see-dont-touch' policies and sweet sweet strays who like to befriend u too easy.

Fandoms: many, but rn im active mostly in skz and mxtx. id love to be in other stuff i read and watch but since Capitalism hates me dearly,,,

Favorite Color: darker shades of all and any colors(esp blue green and red)!!! can be relied upon immensely to look warm and pretty always

Favorite Song: picking favorites for anything is out of my capabilities. also am just listening to my favorite bollywood playlist a lot these days.

Favorite Author: have a working list of favorite poets that does not end at 1. have not read a book seriously in four years of exam/prep-locking. but even if i did, idt ill be able to pick any favorite bcs, yk. good things in many things. (tldr; its roald dahl) (and ruskin bond who i read when i was 5 and still read when im so tired bcs his stories inspire me to write always)

Hobbies: I dance(perform) sometimes? I write??(←derogatory, dubious) make stuff, mostly poems and stories and tinker with free things i can do, both online or craft. analysis of things with friends is a beloved activity. i liek yoga and stretching (rn in an ongoing war with 3° winter mornings to drag myself out of bed and go to class at 6) cooking when i have time but mostly, always, reading (or! watching) stories, poems and learning abt cool nonfiction things (does crying abt fiction count)

Favorite Holiday: none of the above its the trips and getaways u make for yourself. all my beloved memories are always mostly from when our family makes a trip to someplace my mom insists or there's a non-worrying emergency to go somewhere. just family getting together under some pretense, even tho it is stressful as fuck.

Do You Have Any Partner(s): persuading my best friend atm but sadly she's straight</3(no lmao)

Fun facts about you/anything extra you wanna share!: since im having it rn- coffee doesnt keep me up or sometimes even makes me nod off, a fact i discovered after my 14yr old brain had the brilliant idea to try out the cool, forbidden drink after dinner knowing i wasnt allowed to. this is not fun to my ma but growing up in a sort of restrictive household, im also just weirdly good at sneaking and doing stuff im not supposed to without getting caught. i also do not know how to talk in lesser words. this is an absolute curse, yes i have tried. beware</3

this^ is a mess but thank u i had fun!! lemme tag: @winterfloral @syannie @hyunhomoons @quokki @chogiwow @agibbangs @rainknow @lixence @hyunebear @straykidsgallery @jerirose @ambivartence @hongjoongpresent + anyone who wishes to! apologies if tagged already!

#tag games #no pressure giys but also pls do it im nosy and id love to know !! #also ignore. the wordiness. i tried my best

[catilinas]

hey Tate :^) randomly popping up to say that i just finished both 'The king must die' and 'The bull from the sea' in (almost) one go instead of working/eating/sleeping. and i can't thank you enough for recommending these books, the first one especially! so... maybe you have some other myth retellings or historical novels in mind to recommend?

hi!!! i’m so glad you enjoyed them / that i’m not the only person who felt like that reading them. the king must die especially Yeah. holy shit.

for Other Recommendations. the few ~myth retellings~ that i’ve read alas mostly are not novels. the genre of ��myth retelling’ novels < the genre of weird long poems that Do Things with specific ancient texts rather than ‘myths’. but i do read a Lot of historical novels so i definitely have recommendations there! as long as you care about like. the roman republic. anyway here’s a list:

memorial - alice oswald. a ‘translation’ of the iliad, but only the death scenes (often just lists of names!) and the epic similes. it frames itself as yknow. a memorial. to the dead minor characters of the iliad but imo it also speaks to the futility of epic memorialisation. i have read the two page introduction approximately One Million Times.

nobody - alice oswald. you will be missing out if you don’t read this one against memorial. it’s a ‘retelling’ of ‘the odyssey’ and a lot of other myths that involve the sea at any point. a lot of the oresteia too. but it also never names any of its characters or indicates where each story starts or ends. oswald’s best poetry is always about water and this book is Mostly About Water so it snaps supremely.

war music - christopher logue. similar concept but completely different vibe to memorial. also a king poetic Selective reinterpretation of the iliad, but focusing mostly on combat scenes. i’m a big fan of the deliberate anachronisms and framing of the poem through camera angles / film terminology like it’s such a sexy way to ‘translate’ the omniscient moving narrator. AND it pushes you towards a v different emotional response than oswald like memorial is lowkey War And The Pity Of War (The Poetry Is In The Pity) while war music is like. uncomfortably fun. i think comparisons of ancient epic to modern (war-focused) action films can be Lazy or Done Badly (thinking only abt Violent Action Scenes Made Heroic and not the role of the listener/reader/viewer) but the elements of that in war music Work! also agamemnon gets called a piece of shit

tv men: hektor - anne carson. the spectatorship element of war music made more obvious and on a much smaller scale (it’s just one poem in a sequence). also v cool things going on w different degrees of Looseness of translation stacked inside one another

autobiography of red - anne carson. based on the fragments of stesichorus’ geryoneis but bcs the original is so incomplete it can’t really be a ‘retelling’ so much as an imagining of what the poem could and definitely Could Not be. technically a novel but A Novel In Verse. also one of my favourite books of all time ever. it’s in third person but the claustrophobia of the narrative style / the way the protagonist is often closed off to parts of his own thoughts is Weirdly Similar to theseus in the king must die? ALSO geryon ends up with a photography motif. this time we are also using it to think about the subjectivity of which fragments of a poem end up surviving / what gets cut off outside the edge of the photograph

red doc> - anne carson. rip so much carson But this is the sequel to autobiography of red. what happens when you live past the end of your myth. namedrops the battle of ager falernus. prometheus is there. (and also: h of h play - anne carson. i didn’t know whether to include this because it is A Play. like it’s a ‘translation’ (loosest sense of the word) of euripides’ hercules. but geryon (or a version of him) is there for long enough that it counts as the final installment of autobiography of red. to me.)

lavinia - ursula le guin. the second half of the aeneid told from the perspective of lavinia. BUT what sets it apart from other What If Myth—But Woman ‘retellings’ is like. v close engagement with the aeneid as a story and specifically A Story Written By An Actual Author who created his fictionalised past in very deliberate directions. like it doesn’t just treat the aeneid as an authorless body of mythic stories. vergil’s ghost is a character also. fate is real also. ALSO the setting in The Mythic Past As It Becomes The Historical Past + le guin’s decision to include vaguely supernatural elements but never the gods directly is like. very similar to the texture of worldbuilding in renault’s theseus books.

fire from heaven - mary renault. speaking of her. she wrote a whole bunch of other historical novels which you might like! this is the only other one i’ve read so far though. it’s the first of a trilogy about alexander the great. alexander has lot like theseus in that they are both deeply fucked up little guys :-)

dancing with the lion series - jeanne reames (@jeannereames hi 👋). also about the early life of alexander the great. i’ve only read the first one of these (again) but like. i read the whole thing in a day. the level of historical detail is also absolutely nuts. which makes sense bcs reames is an alexander specialist. but still!!!

cicero trilogy - robert harris. welcome to the rome zone. this is the series that got me into roman history :/ it follows the life of cicero from the perspective of his secretary tiro (the inventor of a shorthand system!). It Makes Roman Politics Fun I Promise. for real though these books manage to cover a very complicated period while also not getting bogged down in it And showing you cicero’s Wit. like i know i’m tumblr user catilinas but these books mean i can never really dislike cicero

roma sub rosa series - steven saylor. but if any books Could make me dislike cicero. well. these are a Long series of detective novels set at the end of the roman republic. catiline is there And He’s Sexy. you WILL get invested in the fictional detective’s family drama. also the author is gay and writes lgbt characters in a way that like. actually thinks about what that means In Ancient Rome. catilina’s riddle (book 3) is one of my favourite books of all time ever. also congrats to saylor for writing detective novels which really get into the function of the figure of the detective / Who Is The Detective Really Helping Here / cicero is a massive bastard etc

masters of rome - colleen mccullough. i’m just going to link the review that convinced me and also my entire family to read these. they are terrible they are amazing marcus livius drusus is there. they are massive they cover almost one hundred years of history sulla is sexy and kills people and you will know so much of the minutiae of roman politics If you get through them all

the key / the lock / the door in the wall - benita kane jaro. the key and the door in the wall are a duology about marcus caelius rufus and his relationships w catullus and then caesar. and also clodia. the lock was written later but i’d chronologically in between, and is about cicero and his conflict with clodius. BUT also all three books repeat A Lot of the same events, just from slightly different angles. the unreliability of the narrator helps / makes this v fun. the prose is A Vibe also a lot of the focus is less abt the political situation than like. caelius being young-ish as the republic collapses.

attis - tom holland. legally i have to include this :/ i don’t even know how to describe it like it’s a cryptid of a book you might have to get it through interlibrary loans. it’s not even brilliant it’s just so so weird and also the author cannot explain why bcs he can’t remember what happens in it. it’s about catullus (archeology student?) in a modernised alternate history version of rome (90s london?) being involved in a mystery involving ritual murders (tom holland HAS read girard. if you were wondering). there are also clowns.

hostis - vale aida ( @valeaida hi also 👋). first in an in progress series abt an alternate history version of the second punic war. i read the whole thing in a day instead of writing one of my essays earlier this year :/ have you ever read livy/silius and been like uurfgjhgh the narrative parallels between the lives of hannibal and scipio…… What If That Was A Book. you will go nuts over the barcids

augustus - john edward williams. my highschool philosophy teacher recommended this to me :-) it’s a kind of epistolary novel In That it’s framed as a collection of (imaginary) texts like. letters and biographies and memoirs, all showing Sides but never the entirety of The Emperor Augustus over the course of his life. i read this around the same time as A Source Book for the augustan period and was like. yeah.

#if this end up being formatted weird. whoops. i am on my Phone #book list #beeps

[afarcryfrommymain]

Ok actually I'm gonna continue this rant where everybody can see it. (Mostly focusing on the Heralds bc Joseph,,, could be his own post honestly but he's mentioned when its important.)

Another very VERY well-made part of the framing and body language and everything in cutscenes is how they convey who is in power in every single one.

Let's start with John. He has the least amount of cut scenes in the game but also is shown not in power in 2/3 (4 if you count the beginning of his boss as a separate one) of them. The framing of the first cutscene portrays him as in charge and the focus at first, but then the moment Joseph enters the scene hes shown to have much more control and John suddenly looks like when a child is sent to the principals office or is being scolded by their parents. And that feeling doesn't end when Joseph leaves, because despite him still by all counts having some form of power over you, you already have seen cracks in the mask, and hes suddenly much less intimidating. The second scene is of course all John and the control he can possess when left alone but again, I think a big reason he is seen as pathetic by the fan base because he was already shown early to act almost neutered by Joseph and that was most likely on purpose. See, Johns area of the game is overall the easiest, and it's the one that's hinted at to go do first because it's a low-level area. He is the weakest in-game, and they absolutely knew what they were doing making the first guy you're supposed to fight still intimidating by how off the rails he can be and how him being set off causes violent tendencies that are scary when you are vulnerable, as shown in the Bunker scene and the Falls End scene. The final one i talk about above is finally putting him in a place where he is vulnerable, and it frames it as such, and it shows his panic and desperation in the end.

(Side note, the second bunker scene, from what I remember is the only John scene you can really look all around in, and it makes sense because of course you would be looking for a way out in this situation)

Faiths scenes are a little weird and different because Faith's whole thing is making you think that you want this and that she's just a helpful guide. Nope! No control here shes just showing you all this cool stuff. And for that reason her cutscenes generally allow you to look around and the focus is on both her and the environment. The scene where she has you walk the path is obviously very whimsical in nature and its the "we aren't scary! If we were evil would bliss be so beautiful? Would i be so kind?" Of course we the player also feel almost creeped out by this, because we see the fake smile with too many teeth and know what happens if you stay in the bliss too long. Faith is definitely meant to be the 2nd area in the game, mid level fights, her cutscenes can be put off but not entirely avoided like johns, a greater sense of urgency, that sort of thing. And Faith herself is intimidating because you never know when she's going to show up and where. Half way through a quest? K now you're jumping off the statue. Just stepped out of the jail? You're being shown the end by Joseph. It keeps you on your toes. Of course you can put it off for a while which is something i did often in game. Her boss is also probably the most fucking wild just because the mind fuckery that was present in her cutscenes being used against you more aggressively than before. Faiths 3rd act breakdown is fun too because you suddenly hear her giving excuses and trying to garner pity (albeit while chucking magic at you and flying,, did I mention her boss fight is my favorite?? Its my favorite.) Her final cutscene is soft and she dies with a warning. "If you listen to him, he'll be right" its ominous and it leaves you confused. Isn't she on his side? Its a weird sensation that sticks for a while after her fight. Clearly something meant to come to mind at the final fight with Joseph.

(Side note for her: I did the "side effects" or "after effects" quest or whatever its called after I beat her boss and was finishing up the quests in that area and man was it WILD to hear her giggling after death,,, she made more of an impact than y'all give her credit for, this has been my daily "please talk about faith more" psa)

Every cutscene with Jacob, regardless of weather or not hes actually in charge somehow conveys that he is in control of the situation. Its obvious for most of them, him being free and walking around, carefully chosing his words and what the player sees constantly, even when Pratt tries to reveal his plans its too frantic to understand. His presence is always felt in the Whitetail Mountains and his section of the game is obviously the most desperate. Your focus is always on him. What he's doing, where he's going, what he's saying. And he knows. He makes every word matter. And he is always confident. Even to the end. Theres something to be said about how even in the Joseph cutscene of his area, who always fucking steals the show when he's around, we still have a portion of our attention on Jacob because both of them are an equal threat. His death cutscene is probably the best example of my point. Even when he's hacking up blood and bleeding out he still is confident. He adds to Faith's warning "you did everything he said you would" still trying to instill that helplessness he's been giving you as he dies but it feels more genuine. He dies sitting on a rock, Jacob is gone but it never really feels that way.

Ik that most of this is probably stuff everyone already knew but im a bitch for narrative framing and animation so I wanted to ramble

#far cry 5 #john seed #faith seed #jacob seed #far cry 5 analysis #im talking now #do i tag joseph???? #joseph seed #hes mentioned but not a focus rly #i made a readmore so yall dont have to like. scroll through a wall of text if you dont want to #lmao sorry for the essay i just had adhd and also need to take a break from world history homework #college rly do be kicking my ass

[ghoulish-art-tendencies]

Hello! Welcome to my blog!!! =D I figured I should probably have an intro to who I am bc I am so active on Tumblr now compared to before =p

My name is Ghoul or Sam, either is fine! I go by He/Him, and I say I parallel Daniel Howell of how I present myself. I am an artist, and play a lot of video games. I am the stereotypical emo kid, and I reblog way too much and probably should have made a separate blog for art/actual account but its too late now =x

My Blog Focuses On: Dan & Phil, my art, and maybe a little bit of other things

Things About my Blog: I post mainly my art (mostly Dan and Phil) and reblog mostly things in the Phandom. I do take art requests for Dan and Phil in my asks, but no guarantee that I will respond to it right away, but I will try to be ASAP =]

My Current Interests Are: Dan & Phil, My Chemical Romance

My Side Interests Are: Good Omens, IT, Supernatural, Stanger Things, One Direction, Five Nights At Freddy’s, Hockey (ik, contradictory to my entire personality)

Favourite Shows/Films: American Horror Story, Scream, Good Omens, IT

My Favourite Music Artists Are: Muse, My Chemical Romance

Favourite Song Right Now: Coffee & TV by Blur

Games I Play: Dead By Daylight, Stardew Valley, Baldur’s Gate 3

I Am Often Found: Listening to music, watching Dan and Phil/Youtube, or reading fanfiction -.-

My Animals: 2 Cats, Aziraphale and Varen <3

My Favourite Colour: 🖤Black

Favourite Word: Étoiles (stars in French)

Favourite Fanfiction: Monocrome by intoapuddle and All We Need Is Daylight by Helena_Hathaway

Weird Facts About Me: I have to sleep with 6-8 blankets on my bed at all times; I have spent 300$ on Dan and Phil in the past 5 months; I spell in british english even though I do not live in England (ie colour not color)

My Top 3 Albums:

1. Showbiz by Muse

2. Origin of Symmetry by Muse

3. A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out by Panic! At The Disco

If you cared enough to read this about me, thanks!!! =D Means a lot, and heres a gif for your troubles -.-

[plushipaws]

I don't think im meant to host. Once our system found alastor (and kinda rebuilt him from the three alters he split into) he has been fronting most of the time and it felt natrual. I became his advisor the way other alters are usually mine. A lot of childhood memories are his. Sometimes hosts do just change over time but as soon as he started doing it again it was like. Oh thank god this is how it was meant to be.

I do think I have existed a long time and fronted even as a child but I think it was mostly him and I would advise him from the back seat the way many alters have done to me later. I think I was created for the advisor role and just had to become the host bc Alastor has very strong NPD and BPD traits (so i beleive whole system is NPD and BPD) that I was good at masking and we had to mask it. I think thats why plushi especially is kinda entirely preoccupied with being cute, non threatening, friendly, and not having needs of its own and existing to always be happy. Creature is focused on being a empathetic listener, helpful and solve peoples problems, and holding depression. We always felt like... kind of empty like, something missing, we should have more personality. I think we are smaller fragments and more specific role focused than we thought, oriented to survive abuse situations. We felt missing a person who we should be, and I think that was us subconsciously missing Alastor hosting.

Trauma caused Alastor him to split into more alters (he still is not a fusion of everyone he was but I think the others are ok being seperate and he likes how he is now) so we couldnt really find him until healing allow him to come together again, and the situation is safe enough I dont need to protect him anymore. We also accept our NPD and BPD and know how to cope with it enough to let him out and allow him to express symptoms in healthy ways.

Im still an active alter and will be around, though the two alters I am (i am a subsystem) switch who is awake more and my personality shifts depending on that, and its not been super plushi lately so it feels weird having this be our main, lol. But plushi will definitely be back, it was a lot of fun being paw and I know paw is still here. Just weird to go from plushi hosting to. There hasnt been a plushi around these parts in 30 days :0

We hope our friends and mutuals will like Alastor too since he will be fronting mostly and we will be around less as we switch to him hosting. He doesn't act quite like me though since I exist basically to hide him so if you don't we understand; he is a lot more openly narcissistic and low empathy which we know not everyone vibes with. (Hes also very openly flirty and kinky which may also put folks off but he understands boundaries and is Normal about them). Though we think we will be a prominent alter and still avalible often, but we don't want to host anymore. We did it for years and we weren't supposed to have to.

Don't worry we aren't going anywhere! We still front often but it used to be like... us usually and then maybe for 3 days tops another alter comes before defaulting to us, and now we may come for three days tops and default to Alastor. And my system members can post and talk online when awake even if not fronting. But Alastor's blog is definitely the most active hub for us rn.

Alastor is @radiostaticsmile

Thanks for reading

#serious post #save #plushi paws #tagging that so i can find this again and no talky tag #system things #plural system #alterhuman #host switching #personal

[peachpopfizz]

yk the first couple of episode drops were a bit ehh to me but like.. these two just hit Right. maybe bc i knew what to expect pacing/story wise now? either way, they're def my faves so far, especially ep 5. that's my Favorite favorite :]

spoilers for both eps under the cut, mostly just me blabberin abt what i liked (warning: its alotta alastor)

for ep 5, at first i thought charlastors/radiobelles were winning (and while i don't ship it myself, i was happy for em) but then the realization of 'wait wait wait this isn't romo at all, alastors tryna be a FATHER FIGURE?!' hit instead and i went WILD bc thats 1000% my preferred dynamic for charlie and al. so uh.. yippee dadlastors, sorry charlastors..? gsjahafdaj

also the "Ha! Fuck you." im normal im normal im NORMAL im SOOOO FUCKIN NORMAL (IM CRAZY IM VRAZY I CRAZY IM CRASTY IM FUCKI)

mimzy!! (mimzie??) her intro was abrupt, but she seems like a doll, and her hug with al was real cute. tho i do think she needed that metaphorical kick in the ass abt al's thoughts when it comes to her leeching off his strength for protection. about that..

ALASTOR ACTUALLY CARES. HE CARES. (seemingly, at least). LIKE, HE ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY, NON-FANONILY, GIVES A DAMN ABT THE HOTEL. HE WENT OUT OF THE WAY TO PROTECT THE PLACE AND TOLD MIMZY TO LEAVE IF SHE DIDN'T COME FOR REDEMPTION. MAYBE ITS IN HIS OWN WEIRD-GUARDED-PETTY WAY BUT FUCK FUCK HOOOLLLYY FUCK ALASTOR CARES

and one more thing b4 i move onto ep 6, i've already seen some ppl comparing what al did to husk in the hall to angel and val's dynamic, and while i do agree the two are both trapped in unsavory deals (loser, baby literally confirms this) i don't think al's ANYWHERE near as bad as val. was what he did fucked up? oh, yes, definitely. but it really?? shouldn't be surprising??? al's in hell ‘n has all this status for a reason, so i was really just waitin for a moment like that to happen. however, it didn't do any lasting damage. at least i really wouldn't say so. most it did was scare the shit out of husk for a minute, nowhere close to what val does to angel on the daily (see: episode 6). tho im willing to admit i might be lookin thru rose colored glasses bc i love al as a character. my opinion might change when/if the actual conditions of al and husks deal are revealed, but as of rn, i think al acted as he did there bc husk attacked a reeeally sensitive subject. he would've just been the petty bitch he always is if husk said like.. anythin else. oh and uhh yeah im abt 85% sure he and lilith have SOMETHING goin on. idk who the hell else would be powerful enough to have alastor on a leash

..oh yeah, lastly, lucifer was cool :] silly silly guy (with lotsa trauma) that hit me right in the daddy issues. funny tho, i rlly dont have much to say abt the guy despite the ep literally being focused on him. his song with charile was spectacular though, i need to listen to it on its own immediately

okokok, episode 6, finally, hopefully shorter than the mess of text above

first off. vaggie = fallen angel theorists, i would like to bow down and apologize for ever doubting you. i was one of the skeptics, i really was, but the show did it in a way that (albeit rushed, but what hasn't been so far?, thaaanks, 8-episode limit..) made it seem believable, with assdam calling her out for it..

but putting adam aside, uh, lute?? maam?? holy fuck, step on me??? please???? i mean uh. sick character design yk ahah ^^

whats her name.. emily? the younger seraphim girl, i liked her, she was a cutie. she really did just seem like heavens version of charlie. and the older seraphim woman i (expectedly) have mixed feelings abt. i feel like all would've be great it adam got outta her damn ear cause she might've actually be down to try the hotel with em gone.. angel was doing so well

speaking of angel, ANGEL!! oh lookit that character development, charlie's gonna be so fuckn proud!!! also, CHERRI!!!! saw someone else say cherris the devil on angels shoulder while husks the (heh) angel, and i have to say i agree. they both want the best for him, they just have different ways of goin about it.

unsurprisingly, fuck Valentino. although i did notice he was wearing a dress today, so. (through gritted teeth) slay.

thiiink that's all i gotta say for today?? besides the fact that next week is gonna be agonizing, ofc :] buckle up ppl we might get a genuine, emotional chaggie fight come next thursday

..oh yeah!! molly!!! we briefly saw molly!!!! i hope youre absolutely thriving girl, you deserve no less <3

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel ep 5 #hazbin hotel 6

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/31/23

month started on a sunday, ended on a tuesday, very satisfying

listening

Toxic Las Vegas (Jamieson Shaw Remix). this has been on my "silly little walk for my silly little mental health" playlist for three weeks so it's time for its place in the tuesdaypost. part of the appeal is that it's two songs i already like but this remix does something where i go "whoa is that the james bond chord" every time even though it is NOT.

-

reading

Bullet Train, a black humor thriller set on a train full of asssassins by Kōtarō Isaka. i have been having... mmmmmmmm. a time. let us say. and i have been clinging to things that i have lost my mind about (mostly cowboys) in order to get through the agonies. so it is weird, now that i am branching out a bit more bc things are on a slightly different tack, to be like "yeah i liked this a normal amount and i agree with the 3.8 goodreads average. i will not remember this in three months." npr said basically: fun little genre piece with no real depth! i don't completely agree with this, bc the book is not action-scene focused! the very few fights are short, blunt, quick affairs. there's a lot of focus on personal ethics and legacies, and a great deal of terror derived from random chance. but yeah it's not really a literary novel.

this was a fast, fun read. a rare example where i liked the adaptation (the recent movie which is a VERY loose adaptation) much more than the original work.

i try not to be picky about sentence structure or work choice in a translated work, bc translation is a tricky business at best, but there were some funky choices here and there that did throw me out of my groove. it's written in present tense, which is fine, but i cannot remember the last time i read a professionally published non-romance book written in present tense. i described the movies as "really wants you to know it took AP English", and the book is similar in an interesting way-- book!tangerine is constantly quoting English literary-canon novels.

the book (and movie) have a very dry sense of humor that clicked with me. "it's not clear why the man is naming fruits". at LEAST two sensible chuckles.

the biggest book/movie divergence is with the character of the Prince: a fourteen-year-old serial killer, who we spend a great deal of the book with, who asks nearly every grownup on this train "why is it bad to kill people?". a rare book in which i actively wanted a child to die. i think this character is much improved in the movie, since the character is both aged up (a young teen boy in the book, an older teen girl in the movie), and given clearer ties to the rest of the cast. however, this adaptational choice does lose almost all of the terror of the random chance the book makes you sit with. in the movie, the prince has a motive. in the book, that kid just ain't right.

had a fun time but not enough of a fun time that i will be seeking out the other novels in the series on purpose. perhaps if i come across physical copies cheap it will ping my memory and i'll grab them, which is how i acquire a lot of my physical books. this feels like im damning with faint phrase, but i did have a fun time reading this! it's just that my brain is a sieve and lately anything that doesn't completely possess me is immediately forgotten.

-

watching

fallow week bc i have been #gaming. i need to literally put on my to-do list "rewatch The Big Sleep for febslash feb research" maybe that'll get me to actually do it. im going to take this opportunity to complain about how much fucking work it is to write smut. not even the technical stuff bc i do like to write smut that's threesomes where everyone is the same gender and has the same color hair. the hard part is going "okay what's sexy" and then like storyboarding out the sequence of events to make sure everyone's having fun and it CONSISTENTLY stays sexy the whole time. i have never had irl sex with a narrative throughline. difficult difficult lemon difficult

-

playing

still running around in wolfenstein: the new order making this big beefy boy do jumps and slides. went to the moon. came back from the moon. hit a very fun bug as i try to fight my way out of the london nautica where i crash landed, bc i died, the level spat me out at the last checkpoint, and there were no health or ammo or armor pickups anywhere. just what i could scavenge off the fallen. very unpleasant to fight through a room with 20 health but i did do one whole room before realizing this was a bug. i would not like to play the entire game like this. very stressful. the big boss at the end of the level was also extremely stressful.

but let's talk about the moon, the moon in the fucking sky. how was the moon? was the moon fun? no it was full of nazis. it was also jammed full of sixties computer banks tho. many instruments and dials as well.

as i write this on sunday night i am going to attempt Again to finish the second to last chapter in this game. i am So Close to finishing this game in under 20 hours [ed note, monday night: lmao still have not finished this game]. look at some more computer banks there aren't enough pictures to break up this post.

not sure if this is a side effect of the next-location action movie disease, but wolfenstein is very interested in how areas link together. lots of temporary facilities that have grown ad-hoc roots, lots of trains planes and automobiles. we drive a lot of trucks. we’re in helicopters and subs and moon rockets. we blow up a bridge and scramble through several trains, blowing one of them up. we fuck on a train also can't forget that cutscene. we live in the sewers. we scuttle around in vents. we are in some very far-flung locations but they all look the fucking same bc they are encased in brutalist concrete. i'm sure this is bc it's fun to have a gun battle on a train and on the fucking moon and bc like u only have so many guys actually modelling things for your levels.

this is a very half-baked observation bc i think i am beginning to get a migraine (as i finish writng this on monday night) but let's get this out of the way first: all buildings are political. something something things invented and built for war never actually go away, something something transportation infrastructure to ease conquest continues to keep the colonies within easy reach of the imperial core, wartime infrastructure like highways and bridges as a tool of empire, fascism is a constant state of war which in this game is partly represented by constant shooting and also constant building. something something the unsustainability of not only constant building things but constant growth. something something long linked history of fascist architects who love brutalism. this video game has great visual design and visual shorthands is what im trying to get at. i think.

the london nautica museum/labs/spaceport is a big gun. this is not a subtle game.

-

making

here's a peek behind the curtain: i talk about cooking when i don't have anything else to report on. but i genuinely did not have anything else going on this weekend bc this took all my fucking literal and metaphorical spoons. this represents like three weeks worth of soup lunch (the red lentil previously discussed on this series) plus two quiches.

why so many quiches lately? i bought two dozen eggs before christmas and thought i would do more baking than i did, which was zero. tried this dal palak recipe, majorly fucked up the proportions of the spinach bc i cannot read the back of a package, and by the time i corrected my mistake i had a fuck of a lot of the spinach/onion/spices. unfortunately i fucking hate the texture of rice plus lentils plus this mixture all together, but felt bad about wasting so much food, so the lentils went into the soup (which i needed to make more of anyway) the spinach mixture went into some quiche (bc i needed to use up those eggs anyway) and uhhh idk what will happen with the rice yet. maybe fried rice to finish off the last three eggs in the carton. this entire debacle used all my spoons for the weekend.

there's also a pork shoulder defrosting (and after that marinating[from last summer's Father's Day Meat Sale i also wish i was making this up]) but that's not very photogenic. i desperately need freezer space and it's been a fucking minute since i had some meat.

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

[soleillunne]

OKAY OKAY SO!! do you have any book recs?? i want to get back into reading, it feels like i've mostly been focused on writing these days

i have a bunch but most are fantasy!

the folk of the air trilogy - holly black

enemies to friends-ish to enemies to lovers, mc is a badass and the li is so in love (hes also a menace but mc kinda covers that lmao)

this is a 3 book series with a new series that just dropped that happens after the events of these 3 books

the order is: the cruel prince, the wicked king, the queen of nothing, stolen heir (the new book) but there are also books you can read in between (that i havent read myself)

by far the best book series ive read, i would sell my soul to read it again for the first time

circe - madelline miller

this is a story about circe, a godess (i think) from greek myth. the writing was beautiful, but since its myth, if youre not interested i dont reccomend

(same goes w song of achilles by the same writer)

shadow and bone & six of crows - leigh bardugo

(this one has a two season series on netflix too if youre interested)

shadow and bone - 3 books;

mc is so op honestly, she discovers magical powers early in the book and finds out shes grisha (ppl that have magical powers), but not just any grisha, shes a legend grisha, one of a kind

i dont really remember who she ends up with as its been a while since i read the books but one li is an ass while the other gives golden retriever vibes and i didnt like either of them /lh

six of crows - 2 books;

now listen, i didnt actually read these two books but in the tv show the two series are shown at the same time and i like the characters in this one more

badass gang, thats it. (look more info pls dont trust me)

the kane chronicles - rick riordan

percy jackson is so famous people forget this absolute gem right here.

the idea is the same as percy jackson, except this time its about egyptian gods instead (also techically mc isnt a child of the gods)

it has 3 books, with extra crossover books w pjo (that are also really good once you have the basics)

the midnight library - matt haig

i'm actually not sure what category this falls into.

mc has an accident and ends up at a library at exactly midnight, where the weird librarian tells her that this library is her life (of sorts). basically each book in the library is how her life couldve been like based on some decisions she made

and she keeps going to these other versions of her life by reading the books until she realizes hey, she wants to live, and goes back to her original life

not my favorite, but still an okay one

dune - frank herbert

this is a classic, but it was really good

i dont remember the details, all i really remember was that i had sth for the mc

fr tho its really good, give it a go if long books dont intimidate you

as for books to get into reading again, hmmm

cries okay so dont get mad but the cruel prince got me out of a reading slump

momo - michael ende

this book is so well written istg

mc is a child, first of all. and i dont mean like a teen i mean shes 8 max, shes a literal child but its okay bc there isnt that much action in this one

the main idea of the book is about how precious time is, but its told through such an interesting way. there are time thieves that steal other people's time to live, making it look like theyre helping people save time on mundane things, and momo stops them (not in an insane way i promise)

the secret garden - frances hodgson burnett

this is a classic, but dont let that fool you this is a really well written book

this one has almost no action in it btw

mc is also a child here (shes maybe 12 at most), she moves into the mansion of her uncle after her family dies where she starts to behave like an actual child instead of some spoiled princess/lh

so one day while going on a stroll in the garden area (?) bc no one is there to take care of her now, she finds a secret garden and decides hey since no one seems to care for this garden, this is mine now

also there are other children that she befriends along the way that help her w the garden

def recommend

extra;

anne of green gables (this is so long honestly i ended up just watching the series bc the fact that its 8 books intimidated me at the time - ill get to it eventually)

miss peregrines home for peculiar children (also same as above - i loved the concept tho and ill read it eventually)

percy jackson - a classic

Jayden's Rescue & Old Scroll - vladimir tumanov (these are techincally chrildrens books but theyre also great books so)

#i can give you other recs but theyre turkish and idk if they have eng translations #chitchat #Aly's Friends.[Mika✨]

[stewyhosseini-bf]

do u think it’s strange that there was almost no mention of kendalls drug addiction/him using in this season? we got that one line in the first episode which implies he might be clean? maybe? and its never brought up again. i just cant help but find it weird bc kendalls drug use and addiction was such a big part of his character and really used to reflect what hes going through. but then again this season wasn’t very long in-universe and he was focused on a lot of other things so maybe there wasnt any necessity for him to do drugs? i might have answered my own question.

Okay that's a really good question. So in terms of why they didn't bring it up again, I literally just listened to a podcast ep where Jesse essentially answered this exact question so I'll just write down his answer here real quick:

Podcast Host #1: I don't think I've ever seen an addict on television without relapse being part of the story.

Jesse Armstrong: Yeah, yeah, and it was part of our story, but I wasn't especially intrigued by that dynamic.

Podcast Host #2: Why did you do it if you weren't that intrigued by it?

JA: It just felt right. It's that episode in the desert, it came after episode 6 of the first season. And it just felt like he was in a tough place and so we did it cause it felt right. But the episode isn't really about that. I don't want to be glib about addiction, but I think it's quite heavily covered in the culture. It's well covered in the culture. We've got some stuff to say about power and also I guess about the way that money can insulate you from some of the worst things that can happen to you if you don't have money and find yourself addicted.

I don't necessarily think the show (or Jesse for that matter) is saying he didn't relapse, but that, as with many things in this show, they just don't bring it back up again because there's no plot-related reason to. Like you know how there's a lot of those jokes about how 'x was true, it just wasn't relevant to [characters]'s journey so we never saw it' - I feel like if there's any show that this joke really works well on it's Succession lmao. Stuff will come up and then be dropped quite easily again later on, and they're not necessarily trying to make a statement by doing that. So them not mentioning it doesn't imply anything about whether Kendall is using again, it really just tells you that whatever the case may be, it's not really relevant to the plot and/or doesn't reveal anything we don't already know about the character, so there's no reason to mention it.

With Kendall, drugs are also mostly brought up either by Logan or Kendall's siblings, to point out his 'weaknesses' (just revisited this post on how the show conflates Kendall's drug abuse, him performing in a business-sense and his sexuality). I don't think there was necessarily anything new to be said about that. Kendall's also flying pretty high for most of the season, and those topics and Kendall's drug use mostly comes up when he's depressed and more hopeless, which he simply didn't really have time to be, with everything that was going on this season and with how little time passed.

This doesn't mean, though, that I think they don't put thought into whether he is sober or not or don't put in certain 'clues' (for lack of a better word) that point to that. At the start of the season Kendall kind of implies that The Hundred is keeping him occupied enough to keep him from drugs ('I need something super fucking absorbing in my life', which tells me he is trying to stay away from drugs and is asking them straight up to tell him if it's not gonna be this, so he can look for a different substitute). And I'm pretty sure the drink he orders in 4x2 is non-alcoholic (though I could be wrong, I'm going off what I've seen others say here) but as the season progresses we do see him drink, like in Norway and then also at the Tailgate Party and in the finale. Whether that means that he's using drugs again as well, I don't know, but he's clearly not staying sober. We also know he uses drugs when he's under a lot of pressure to perform, in the business-sense, which he obviously is this season, so there is that as well

#ask #i also think the 'i need sth absorbing in my life' line is telling us that he's very much struggling with his addiction #not just bc he's always about to just start using again but bc he's a work-addict as well #it's as much of a substitute for drugs for him as alcohol is. in that it's not. it's just a different addiction that he deems healthier #or more socially acceptable #and like less of sign of 'weakness' and so he allows himself to be consumed by it more. #kendall roy #drug mention #addiction mention #drugs tw #succession

[gautierprotectionsquad]

My live reactions while listening to Batman: Unburied

Listening to Batman Unburied. It’s SO good. Bruce Wayne is a forensic pathologist and his parents are alive and he’s trying to catch a cannibal called the Harvester except it’s all in his head. Back in the real world Bruce Wayne is “dead” and Barbara is the real main character other than Bruce. Batman is not batdad in this, which is fine, but it’s weird that Barbara is a character but Dick is not.

WAIT FUCKING WAIT IS THAT JUSTIN MCELROY? THE MCELROYS ARE IN BATMAN UNBURIED?? WHAT???

I’m loving DC deciding to put Riddler in more stuff instead of the Joker. Joker’s overused.

Why did riddler saying “it’s mr.nigma” sound like he introduced himself as Mr.Ligma lol.

“Ace has mostly stayed by the window waiting for master bruce.” Awww Ace.

LOVING riddler in this. He’s so funny. Also loving that this is Barbara focused. And they got a diverse cast. 

So Bruce was actually getting better and healing from his parents death only to feel super guilty when he realized it and decided to push everyone away. Unburied has been reminding me of BTAS. Bits and pieces of things happening here have happened in BTAS before. The forgetting he’s batman, the psych evaluation with a lightshow,referencing gray ghost, living in an alt reality in his head where his parents were still alive, and now Batman feeling guilty he’s moving on from his parent’s murder while dating vicki.

There’s griffin and travis on Ep 4!

The conversation between bruce and his parents at the beginning of ep 5 OH MY GOD! YAY! I love this; it’s SOOOO good!

So Hugo Strange is the real villain! Now Bruce gets to beat up the Mcelboys.

Ep 6 riddler. dude. He’s so silly. “Ah hoy hoy! You need me on the fairway. You need me for luck. But once you have me, you’re well and truly fucked.” Silly man! I love the riddler in this! “The improbable jawline beneath the cowl.” this man truly did play riddler gay (and we wouldn’t have it any other way.) i love riddler in this SO MUCH.

WHOA TWIST! RIDDLER DIDN’T STAB GORDON! 

“This city and its cartoon bullshit”.

Strange is DEAD? Did his own guy kill him?! The cannibal dude? No, not that? Strange isn’t behind everything?

WOAH batman’s doing the thing his subconscious Brucie does. HOLY…REALLY?! Is that new or has this batman always done that?

So it’s MadHatter? No, not him either.

Something about batman villains cursing is so funny.

BATMAN APOLOGIZED? Like it was nothing!

Dude! Connecting cannibalism with eating the body of christ. 

Wow they’re bringing in all the villains except joker here. There’s ivy!

He doesn’t know ivy’s name?

This is a new backstory for her i think. Her dad makes bioweapons? And he fucking tested them on her! That’s so fucked up! Wow this guy sucks so bad, he even killed his wife bc she cared about her daughter.

She had a girlfriend named Alex in college in this! neat. (i think this ivy and stiefvater’s swamp thing would get along) uh oh i think something bad is going to happen to Alex. Ok she’s fine she just didn’t like Ivy killed a guy. Ivy can’t kiss anyone in this universe. Huh.

So bc bruce tried to protect this tree, that’s what led to ivy and strange working together.

Obv he chooses vicki. He can always catch the bad-people later.

AH fuck! Batman is compromised! AH what a cliffhanger right before the last episode.

“Leaping lords, gray ghost!” GRAY GHOST HAS HIS OWN ROBIN??? NAMES POLTERGEIST!!??!? AAAHH!

“You chose a world where we were disappointed in you” OOF

OUGH there’s Bruce feeling guilty he’s moving on from his parent’s death! In his own words! “It’s not just about you anymore. I LIKE it.” YES YES YES YES. “we don’t have to be the first thing you think about when you wake up” T_T

NOO ALFRED’S BEEN COMPROMISED! 

“I have something you don’t. I have a dog.” LOL

YOU CAN’T KILL OFF ISLEY!

Bruce apologizes AND TELLS ALFRED HE LOVED HIM!!!!!

The final message of unburied: ACAB.

Looks like ivy’s still alive. And she got back together with her ex.

Why does bruce interrupting riddler’s dinner sound like a date and flirting?!

overall review: 10/10

#romanticsap #batman unburied

[makemycitybreak]

i saw some of your posts so i'ma comment on them real quick because idk, i wanna talk lol

skins was honestly such a big comfort for me but for some reason i couldn't really get past the 2nd season because at a certain point, i just stopped getting attached to the newer characters. cassie and effy will always have a place in my heart though. they just like me fr. also, i kinda felt like it started to go down hill at that point as well because, like you mentioned, the whole skins giving gay people stalkers thing with maxxie and sketch... like i feel like stalkers definitely are a big issue or whatever, but that entire situation and the episode that mostly focused on sketch was just extremely uncomfortable and felt highly unnecessary? like i know they're hard on all of the characters, but it just didn't seem like it fit in with the rest of the show despite there being frequent dark themes.

i love listening to, like, rich failsons talk about their drama and i absolutely adore shows that are like... dramas about elite students or whatever. i don't know, it's just very entertaining lmao

Yes thank u I love this I'm gonna answer to you now yes cool

1. Yeah honestly the first two seasons are the best the characters are more relatable and like more lovable honestly also kinda more diverse(?? I think?? Or I guess that depends) and like I especially like Cassie she is me honestly I relate to her on another level. I've seen 3 ½ seasons so I wouldn't know all ofc but yeah. On the stalker thing I just feel like its so odd bc maybe its just me but like who knows anyone who has been actually stalked?? Or now that I think about it I do know some people but that was literally in elementary school so... and not to spoil but in season four there is a girl that gets like obsessed with Naomi (who is a gay character) and it's a small thing but like after doing that with Maxxie in season 2 its just weird. Maxxies was weirder tho and like creepy like it made me so uncomfortable and it didn't really link with the other characters in ANY WAY. it was just weird. Like is that how you think queer people work?? Cause wtf u know

2. Yess I love watching these kids its so funny and like interesting for some reason cause their drama just seems so much bigger cause they have their whole like family line behind them lol. Also in like my specific case with the tiktoks its so funny cause some of them have the funniest last names ever think like royal last names like the ones in Frozen the disney movie literally and everyone in the comments are like "damn what in the lastname" and "where is this school I need a new jacket". Also just rich kids amuse me for no reason. I'm not even poor but they always think they're like middle-class its hilarious lol

[pastsaoi]

i'd love to know about all of the wips because of the sheer potential of all of them, really.

bet okay here we go ty for asking!! all of these r drafts so excuse anything that is clunky or weird sounding

part 2 in the 'is marius von hagen an idiot or just bisexual' series

this revolves around marius being allergic to silver. all his jewellery is platinum and he gets touched by luke Who Is Wearing A Silver Ring At The Time. queue a nasty rash all over and he never notices the ring bc he is more focused on luke, which leads to mar believing he is allergic to Luke Pearce and asking the rest of the team about it. he is genuinely distressed at the thought of potentially being allergic to luke

Whenever it was just Vyn, Robin and Artem in the NXX Headquarters, it was quite peaceful. They got on with their work with quiet conversations and no terrible, very bad ideas. With Robin present, it stopped Artem and Vyn from their bickering and, thus, it was calm. Serene one could say. The perfect environment to work and not fuck it up. Though it could also be said that this was simply calm before the storm.

So when the quick pounding of footsteps echoed around the hall near the door, Vyn took a deep breath, Artem rubbed at his temples and Robin clasped her hands together, hoping for something normal for the team like a murder or missing persons case.

"CAN YOU BE ALLERGIC TO PEOPLE?"

Her hopes had not been answered and Robin simply stared at where Marius stood at the doorway, looking… well, like shit.

once upon a fucking december

Okay so. Anastasia is my favourite film of All Time so ofc i had to make a tot au for it!! i have many different variations for this idea such as: rosa as anya and luke as dimitri, vyn as anya and rosa as dimitri, marius as anya luke as dimitri You Get The Idea. i don't actually have a snippet for this one bc its mostly just plots and plans in a gdoc But i will write it one day when i decide who to write as who

nxx unsolved : supernatural

The team go ghosthunting basically. marius signs them up to go explore a supposedly haunted building in stellis after someone asks and he does it under the guise of Teamwork and Team Bonding. its mostly a disaster

"This is a terrible idea," Vyn had stood up to fix himself a cup of tea almost immediately as Marius started speaking, though the whole team knew if he could get something stronger he would.

Marius pointedly ignored him. "We could be like the guys from Scooby Doo! I will be Fred and Miss can be Velma since she's the smartest out of all of us."

"Luke has eaten dog food before so he can be Scooby," Robin pitched in from where she was sitting, sending a bright grin over in Luke's direction.

"Fuck you! I swore you to secrecy!" The dog food eater threw the pillow he was holding at Robin and it was quickly tossed back.

Robin kept her smile, "all's fair in love and war. And I want Artem to be Daphne!"

"Why should Artem be Daphne? They're nothing alike?"

"He's the prettiest out of us all and don't argue, 'cause you know I'm right, Luke!"

backstreets back ALRIGHT DUN DUN DUNDUN

band/idol au thing. i was listening to nysnc and then i sat up and was like Wait A Second and thats how this idea was born. poor rosa is going through it as she deals with their bullshit. havent written much for this one atm but

Robin got the email yesterday that she was getting transferred into group management.

She was being assigned to a newly established boy band named NXX and was now the group manager. Robin couldn't believe her eyes, she was a goddamned PR manager????? Who in their right mind got her to do this??

Sure, she'd done something similar in her first year with TE. Her first job with the company was working with their most successful girl group, JAEI, but she wasn't the group manager???? She was the one who managed their social media and scheduled interviews! That's nothing compared to actually managing a group?? How would she be able to manage this?

Robin needed coffee, and Celestine, and more coffee.

Dead in 3 years?? OR NOT

Right. this one Luke is Dead and is now a ghost who goes around haunting fancy places for fun. he ends up haunting marius' new home which is very fancy and he ends up befriending a ghost luke. again i have no snippet for this one bc. I have not written anything yet but it is an idea that i will eventually write!!!

hey god can you take this guy away

yk the river styx? charon the ferryman who takes over the dead people? Yeah that is luke pearce and marius, a very not dead person arrives asking to go to the underworld

Long boat rides offer a lot of time for thinking, but Luke was really all thinking out. He had been here for who knows how many years and no longer had much to think about, lest he wanted to question his very existence for the 8th time that week.

He has to admit though. This shit is so, so lonely. The lost dead people don't really talk to him and are too nervous about their journey to the Underworld to actually speak so they aren't any fun. You get sick of morbidly enjoying people's stress after a short while, he might be a courier of souls but he isn't a monster!

Which is why, on his next journey over the river, as he was letting people onto his boat and accepting their kinda gross coins from their mouth, Luke was pleasantly surprised to see a definitely not dead guy.

Vyn Richter Loses It

story is in the title tbh. vyn is tired he has had A Bad Week and just wants to get this nxx meeting over with and go home but then the blender blows up and there is a strange mixture everywhere (help Him)

He has zero patience for the members of the NXX team today (excluding Robin, of course). His lacking patience rears it head once again when he walks into headquarter and finds-

Well, it looks like a fucking bomb went off.

Keep in mind, Vyn owns the building that houses their headquarters. He paid for it and while he isn't lacking in money, it was still expensive, it's in the Victorian District for God's sake stuff there isn't exactly cheap.

So, pardon his reaction to finding the entire room covered in something white that quite frankly makes Vyn very nervous. Oh, and really annoyed. Not to mention the blasting of a K-Pop song he recognises since it was both Neil and Giann's favourite song for a while. (For about 5 months straight it was the only song allowed to be played in headquarters and in their modes of transport (it drove Vyn absolutely mad)). The song isn't helping with anything.

There is a distinct odour of vanilla and egg which is quite possibly the worst combination of things he's ever smelt. He covers his nose and closes his eyes in a desperate attempt to keep his growing temper in check and prepare himself for whatever he'll find in there.

RED ALERT VYN RICHTER IS HOT

this is just rosa thinking abt how hot all her team is and also realising that Vyn may be the hottest out them all and needing to go sit and think. this is mildly fanservice-y but its okay

Robin knew she worked with insanely attractive men. She knew it, she relished in it, she embraced it.

However since she is around attractive men so much, she tends to forget just how hot they are sometimes. At random points it hits her, like when Artem stretched his arms above his head and she just stared. And he had a tight shirt on. And she could see everything. (She excused herself and sat on the bathroom floor in headquarters for about 15 minutes, rethinking everything.)

She frequently had these random experiences and she usually handled them quite well. It came with a lot of self reflection and crying at just how lucky she was to be with such works of art regularly.

those r my drafts. my wips. can u tell i like marluke just a Bit

will i ever finish these? Who knows bc i certainly do not i am a busy person but i love them all so maybe one day u will see them on my ao3

#my silly little drafts #wip tag game #tears of themis #are they horrible ideas? perhaps but i like them and i hope u do too #:]!!!!!!!

[mifhortunach]

in review - once again! - 2022

below cut :/

i did... Very Little drawing this year ! - which i’m really not happy about, and i’m not sure how that happened tbh. that said, if nothing else, instead of drawing i got ‘a lot’ of printing done!

it was a good year for like. my Actual Practice - i spent a lot of time in the studio, got a piece (that i still like!) into an actual public show, as well as for the first time sold some work!! I also got to finally mess around with a riso machine, as well as someone offered to show me more litho stuff, so im hoping to pursue that much more in the year :) - as well as finally do a bunch of projects i’ve been putting off for ages & dear god, fckn draw more

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watched a lot of movies though!!!

ltrbxd says i saw like. 115 or smth, but that’s an estimate bc i went to a couple of shorts showings (as well as fell asleep at a couple :’/ ). it’s been cool!! have finally seen a bunch of genre classics, and had like, a seeing thru the matrix moment~ where i could tell a whole bunch of influences that had affected smth i was watching ! id quite like to try to strike a similar balance this year as well; catching up on like. ‘genre staples’ but paired w the weirdest most niche shit i can find - fingers-crossed! (thinking about putting together a little round-up post of some of the ones i saw this year that really stuck around for me, but idk)

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Pods!!

usually i think - and by usually i mean like, last year - i’ve got more to say on this front, but a lot of the pods i really enjoyed this year were hold-overs from 2022-

AMCA: i’m someone who while they don’t care about starwars, DOES really like podcasts about it, which is weird & difficult to explain, but this is still so good!! 5 star podcast, 5 star runtime! everyDAY do i wish they could do a special about dune...

The RETURN of toxic podcast!: as before, a podcast only for me really, and the only podcaster that i do have smth approaching a parasocial relationship with - its just been nice to hear from Ale again!! The branch into ltrboxd reviews as been a fun venture too, imo.

FATT/SANGFIELLE: though difficult to believe, that DID happen this year!! Sangfielle is still so so good, and it got me back into both listening to bluff as well as trying so hard to catch up on ptzn, its just really fckn good what else is there to even say! (Met a lot of v cool people through this as well, which has been so cool :) )

Assorted Seán L@TDF podcasts: while he has dropped completely off the face of the internet - though hopefully not the earth - the man DOES still have years of weird (mostly movie) focused podcasting to go back in on, which i do find consistently compelling!! turns out when u practice putting thought into words and then presenting for long enough you do indeed build a skill. His found footage series (Hundreds of Pixelated Dead Bodies) series is great, and introduced me to a lot of stuff, ditto his other series (hundreds of dead bodies). I’m hoping to get through the big, thoughtful series (ALL UNITS) this year, and maybe I’ll get even luckier and he’ll return to the land of podcasting soon.

I’m sure i’ve missed some on this one, but these are the ones that stood out to me this time round, i guess. i’m excited for the new twioat series also, lol.

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i did like, almost no reading, or tv watching, though i did start, and plan - and not finish - a good couple of knitting projects. didn’t get out to see many gallery shows either, which isn’t so great - though i DID manage to have a startlingly good year socially ?

made some new friends, had a whole private theme month devoted to the films of al pacino, and got to see two bands/musicians that i really love play live!! Good Ol’ Stevie P w @silverview (<33) && TWRP - both of which were so so great, and made me wish i got out more lol

lots to be done this year, as per, but hopefully it’ll be fine

#ppp #2022 #year in review

[cherrykamado]

if these weren’t answered yet, 21, 24, & 11?

DEJ HIIIII BBY HOW ARE U !!!! MWAH<33

weird questions for writers <3

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

HMM i think that rough times with writing can happen. i can "fall out" with it, i can not like it at times, maybe stop for a bit. but i don't think i could ever quit it !!! and i never wish i could !!! mostly because writing's an important part in my life: it's outlet, distraction and entertainment! literally writing's become a quotidian part in my life i honestly can't imagine my life without it hehe

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

AFDJNDGKA LISTEN THIS IS NOT CONSISTENT AT ALL THIS DEPENDS ON THE VIBES ! sometimes i start a half assed wip and, somehow, end up becoming fics (my most recent fic started as a half-assed thirst LOL). sometimes i'll plan each and every single detail (like cherry waves, the pirate tomura fic, or headliners, villain tomura fic !!)

it's a messy process overall bc a loooot happens, but mostly i write the scenes i vibe witht he most, then figure out how to connect them hehe. also, as i write i figure out things or think of details, more things to add so ill just make a comment on docs and write down the idea so i don't forget !!

sometimes i write plot parts underneath writing paragraphs and literally its me screaming LMAOOO for instance (this is from pirate tomura lol)

or sometimes, if im focused on details ill just hit enter and make bullet points of what i want to happen and tackle them afterwards !! fdsjaknds literally my docs are me rambling and pouring my brain into it, then organizing it all a lil bit hehe, and of course a greeeat part of it is the vibes !! write, write, write then go back and edit !!

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

SOBS i like putting them through it LMFAO. idk if i kill them but i make them suffer a lot LOL, but they all get their reward afterwards<3

#🍒 — mail #🍒 — cherry's moots #deja<3 #🍒 — games