#and ive also never been wrong

[stil-lindigo]

mumbattan's one and only pavitr prabhakar!!

prints

#pav you ray of joy i hope you never change #spoilers// ngl it is objectively hilarious that miles just. prevented pav from experiencing any hubris #keep on trucking pav im sure the universe wont prove you wrong or anything #also im sorry it took me so long to get to him #ive been busy with hobie brainrot which has alleviated. but it did take buying the artbook and an action figure of him so #anyway im rewatching this movie again on saturday i miss these characters so much #pavitr prabhakar #spiderman #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #miles morales #stillindigo art

[bamsara]

So is the reason for Tyren getting more unhinged the side effects of the devotion necklace, or was this a downward spiral he would have gone done regardless of the necklace? I remember you talking about how the necklaces have consequences, and I'm curious if this is one of them.

Yeah!

Tyren would have been an already overly-doting and even jealous character on his own without the loyalty necklace, (and had been due to his crush on the Lamb even before recieving it, and what happens when you reject followers in-game) but his spiral into a unhealthy obsession and idolization was aided by the loyalty necklace.

If it was given to perhaps a regular, less devoted follower, the effects maybe wouldn't have had such severity. But Lamb got the materials/necklace from the mystic seller and isn't fully aware of the effects it might have on their followers yet.

So, dog is unhinged a bit on his own, but amplified by the necklace. He's originally friendly, caring and sweet. But you take good traits, too much of a good thing, and they can turn bad

#I want to talk about Tyren in stream again or go on a ramble #he's a character i want readers to like but also i dont want them to LIKE LIKE him #i want to write him in a way that makes you wonder if he did not go down this path he would actaully be someone you'd want to be friends wi #what ifs and what not #also in some reality there would people rooting for tyren in his corner because in his point of view #hes known the lamb for a long time and has been their friend and confidant #and has cared about them and even had a crush on them for quite a while #then suddenly this cat appears and everything feels wrong #dont get me wrong tyren is meant to be a good friend turned bad guy #but i was also never meant to get attatched to and develop the side characters as i have been doing slkdghsld #okay ive rambled enough #tyren oc #trod au

[inkskinned]

this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

#spilled ink #writeblr #:) lol . anybody notice how i write about dads in second person exclusively #me: haha silly cartoon #also me: ): this child is not getting what they need #also btw this is about a father but it might apply to any parent or caregiver #there's a really weird space of like #''this person was technically around me but either ignored me or was actively harmful to me'' #and like u learn this very strange ritual of like... this person is my parent/caregiver on a technicality #that you almost spend all ur time with them like... tiptoeing and acting as THEIR parent so u don't upset them. #like you're 17 and ur mom is suddenly hit by a wave of wanting to talk to you so she's like :) lets make breakfast together :) and ur like #uhhhhhh okay?? bc you feel like this is absolutely going to go wrong and is why u usually make breakfast alone #and she starts being like: THIS is called a TEASPOON ... & u know all this stuff but you also know to just be very quiet #bc if you say like ''mom ive been making this breakfast every day since i was 13'' she would FREAK OUT and be like #DONT ACT LIKE I NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR YOU DONT ACT LIKE I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU. FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL . #so u have to smile like ur a preschool teacher and be like. OH COOL! i didn't know A CUP existed! tell me MORE! :)

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I used to despise Eridan and think he was the absolute worst character (barring Cronus ig) but you have shown me the light and completely turned my opinion around and now I think he is such an endearing little freak <3 I read your whole blog already but if you've got any more thoughts on eri or anyone else then I hope you post them bc I'd love to hear more abt it!

i have sooo many controversial opinions about the dancestors you have noooooo idea

#always glad to have another person go 'oh eridan's not that bad huh' #like he IS a freak and there is SO MUCH thats wrong with him #but he's supposed to be an antagonist AND sympathetic AND funny AND pathetic AND tragic #like all these things can be true hes just a complex character #same w a lot of them #vriska equius and gamzee all kind of fall into this boat #yes there is a lot thats wrong with them but they are also 13 #let he who was not a shithead at 13 cast the first stone #anyway ive been hesitant about talking about the dancestors because if my eridan opinions are controversial... #but the tl;dr is that almost all of them suck horribly #like collectively they are the worst characters in homestuck and thats on purpose #bc their role in the story is villainous like theyre the reason lord english even exists #if the alternian trolls as a rule are meant to be sympathetic even if they have a lot of problems #then the beforus trolls are like a worst case scenario of 'what if they never address their problems and grow up that way' #theyre the counterpoint to the comics themes of being a kid and growing up #learning to care about each other and become responsible #the beforus trolls are children who never grew up #going through the exact same problems and drama as when they were children #because they never took responsibility for their own actions or their treatment of each other #And That's Terrible

[jessiesjaded]

I really, really wish people who don't have the capacity to properly take care of animals would simply accept and acknowledge that about themselves. This isn't even a post of me trying to be mean or judge anyone, I'm sure most people go into getting an animal with good intentions, but intentions and actions are different. If you don't have the time and the space and the care an animal needs, the animal will suffer. The fleeting joy of having a kitten or puppy or anything else doesn't last forever and they aren't toys to be put down and forgotten once you've moved past the inital excitement. If you don't have the ability to properly care for an animal, just accept that and simply admire them from a distance.

#the amount of people i know who flippantly just. buy a random pet with no prior planning or thought #and like its not always outright neglect #you can technically feed and groom a pet get them flee treatments etc but if you lock it outside 24/7 and spend no actual time #like why do you have that animal? #you should not have that aninal #if you have too much in your life to adequately care for one its vetter for YOU and for the animal to not have one #like this little cat is so sweet #actually the sweetest cat ive ever known and my cat tigs has always been a massive sweety already #so its saying something that shes been even sweeter #i mean i brushed her teeth and got matted fur off her and cleaned her eyes and she NEVER bit or scratched me once #shes so quiet and sweet #but the people across the road clearly just left her outside to her own devices her whole life #seemingly no vet checks. didnt feed her properly and i sometimes wonder if at all bc their next door neighbour was feeding her apparently #and he has no pets!! even he knew that shit was wrong #and now shes so sickly and small and malnourished and her teeth are rotting out of her head #and its just like ???? #why have her #you could have realized you werent really the type for pets and given her to a shelter #and she would have been adopted 100% #but they kept her all this time but also not really bc its not like she was kept properly at all #its sad she didnt come over here sooner #i wish id had since she was a baby or even a year ago #bc then maybe i could have helped her more #its just so unnecessary. Animals are a privilege not a right. #and again like. go visit your cousin or uncle or sister or friends pet in that case #you might not have the time or ability but you could still enjoy animals wothout directly having one

[peggy-uwu]

Black Butler Drive Link

Compiled pretty much all of black butler into a handy little drive file for u all.

Contained within:

ANIME:

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3 (book of circus)

Book of Murder (parts 1 & 2)

Book of the Atlantic

Ova's

MANGA:

Chapters 1-204

LINK:

I would add the musicals but they take up too much space,, google drive only lets you have 15GB of data stored for free at any one time, however they can be found here:

(regarding the anime: All seasons are available in both English and Japanese Dub, with english subtitles available. These cannot be streamed through google drive, you have to download them and watch with VLC media player. To switch through the audio tracks or toggle subtitles, click on subtitle/audio and subtitle track/audio track respectively at the top of the vlc player screen)

If any of you narc i swear to god

#Kuroshitsuji #Black Butler #Black Butler Anime #Black Butler Manga #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #alois trancy #claude faustus #if anything goes wrong ie episodes missing or whatever pls dm me #everything should be fine tho? its all been uploaded straight from my pc #and ive watched through all of it so it should be good #but just in case ya never know #ALSO if anyone has any of the episodes or movies in higher quality than i do #pls dm me so i can replace them in the drive #(if you wanna)

[noxious-fennec]

C!Q + vylette's fit from Jawbreaker

(aka an idea I've had for every conceivable holiday for months and decidedly couldn't put out on an appropriate date)

#i feel a little off posting this during such a time of distress but my own misery wont help others so I'm doing it anyway #also hi!!! I've been offline a lot but after much stress and a week being mildly mistreated at the hospital i finally know what's wrong!! #PM/SSc overlap syndrome you can look it up. they caught it early tho so none of my connective tissue is damaged #nor do i have any major systemic effects so yay. im taking meds for it and im praying for the best #anyway enough of my life hi folks this is the first thing ive drawn in MONTHS sry im rusty #sidenote in light of the tumblr panic never hesitate talking to me about anything I'd love it im just socially anxious #anyway i love yall hope yall enjoy <3 I'll leave yall now xoxo #fennec. art #my art #dsmp fanart #cquackity

[lollytea]

I don't think Willow and Hunter start dating immediately after the events of W&D. They know they're something and they're both open to exploring that when they're ready. But they also agree that it would be in their best interest to adjust to their new normal and do some soul searching before they make themselves an official item. They don't consider themselves dating but they don't consider themselves single either. And the way the two of them approach their feelings for each other in this murky limbo state is vastly different for both of them.

Like if somebody asks Willow if she's in love with Hunter, it's like

Willow: Am I in-...? Well, it's...complicated. It's a very complicated situation we're in and I don't want to make any bold decisions right away. Do I love him as a friend? Of course I do. Am I physically attracted to him? Yes, but hormones don't mean love. Am I also emotionally attracted to him? Yes, but a crush isn't love. Do all of these things at once equate to being in love? Well, that seems like the kind of question that would keep a very nervous very scared person lying awake all night. Good thing that's not me, haha. It's not like I'm scared to be in love and I'm subconsciously avoiding confronting the fact that I am. I just believe in staying rational and analyzing your emotions so you don't get too reckless and dive into things without thinking. You'll hurt yourself. I've heard that's it's really easy to hurt yourself when you're in love. You see it's...we...Hunter and I met at a really crazy time, when I was just starting to become the witch I want to be. And then everything got so much crazier and we were confused and scared and it was hard to think about who you wanted to be when you weren't where you wanted to be. So now we're home. And finally, we have the chance to figure ourselves out. And that's exactly what we're gonna do. I want to be with him...eventually. When we're ready. I like him and I want to kiss him but I'm not in love with him. I'm totally not.

Meanwhile, on the other side of Bonesborough

Del: Willow seems like a nice girl.

Hunter: Yeah. I'm in love with her.

#do you understand my vision of Willow having a very tangly brain when it comes to putting her heart in somebodys hands #i feel very strongly about this #also i really enjoy the idea that loving somebody is one of the few things that Hunter is certain about #since LR aired ive been seeing headcanons from hunlow dislikers and hunlow enjoyers alike #that hunter is confused #always confused about how he feels about willow #thinking for the longest time that this is just platonic admiration #or people saying hes confusing platonic admiration for a crush #confused. confused. hes always confused #nothing wrong with that headcanon #everybody can interpret hunlow whatever way they want. im not a cop #but for me personally i always saw it as like. once he realized this was a crush he knew exactly what he wanted from it #never been so sure of something in his life #huntlow

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it #and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago #bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o) #well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall #im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot #i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing???? #i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T #because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks #at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better #its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh #in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats #mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year #i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o) #THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o( #yapping #my art #myart #doodles #personal #diary

[northern-passage]

i've been thinking a lot about the word "representation" and what it means and how it's changed over the last few years, particularly when it comes to the writing/publishing landscape but also in movies and tv shows… and i really don't like it anymore. to be clear, of course i think it's important to have diversity in your work, i'm not saying i hate the concept of representation. but i do really dislike the way it's used now, and i really just hate the word itself

in a broader sense it's just become a marketing tool. i'm not impressed by any publisher or author who just describes their book by listing all of the minorities/identities the characters represent as if that should be enough. it feels very gross, very exploitative and disingenuous. it also really bothers me because it's always marginalized identities- which i understand Why, but it feels very othering to me (and again. Very exploitative as an advertisement). you would never list out "cishet able-bodied white man" as a character description to pat yourself on the back over. so why do it to everyone else? why insinuate that one is the "default" and the other one is "special"? (and when i say this i'm mainly talking about advertisements/marketing. i understand why people would specify about characters in descriptions with the plot, but i don't like to see an ad that's just "this book has gay people!" with nothing else)

which then leads me to my other point, which is that a lot of people treat "representation" as if it's "too hard." like "oh i don't know enough to write about that, i don't have that experience, etc" which is a fair way to feel! however… it's weird that people only say this about writing trans characters or characters of color. i'm writing a story right now with a character who is really into motorcycles. i personally do not know that much about motorcycles, so i researched what parts are what & what different kinds of models there are & what basic bike care looks like. i guarantee Most people will have to google something at some point in their writing process. so what's the problem? it also, again, feels very othering when authors treat certain groups of people as "impossible" to write, "too hard" to understand. they are just.. people. you write them as a person. and then you figure out the rest later.

and i think part of the refusal or fear to write something outside of your experience is because of the way representation is treated as So Special. these characters are So Special that they aren't allowed to be anything other than "representation." they're Not allowed to be characters with complex emotions and interesting motivations, they have to just be Trans or Gay or Disabled or whatever. they're not allowed to be people. which means, at the end of the day, we loop right back around to where we were at the start….

there is bad representation. there are depictions of certain marginalized people that are harmful and that are damaging, i'm not trying to minimize that or argue against it at all, in fact we should all be mindful of that while writing and reading. but i also think it's possible to swing too far in the opposite direction as well and put certain groups of people on a pedestal and not allow them to do anything at all but be Perfect Representation, if that makes sense.

#anyways. is this anything #sorry i dont have anything insightful to say at the end here i just wanted to ramble #especially abt the way ppl market books now it like. genuinely disgusts me #cannot imagine marketing tnp in that way. my characters are many things AND they are trans. and their transness #is not just a flashy feature for attracting attention #also i do understand the fear of 'getting it wrong' but that's why you have beta readers or even actual sensitivity readers #that's why you ask for feedback. especially in this space like... people will give it #that's what makes sharing your process and early draft in this community so rewarding #and there's also just the reality that no matter what you do some people will Not like it 🤷 #and ime a lot of ppl look at representation very individualistically #as in it's only good representation if it represents Me #which sucks. and you're never going to please those people #ANYWAYS also to be clear this is not a vague or meant to be targeted at any one person please don't be fucking weird #this is just some thots i've had recently esp since ive seen the representation conversation pop up quite a few times #and since i've been doing research for characters in my other project #personal

[dailykugisaki]

Day sixty-three | id in alt

A puppet and a witch.

#dailykugisaki #jjk #kugisaki nobara #mahito #jjk mahito #i Love havin to violently clarity who mahito is #ive never drawn this cursed bitch in ny life but making this thing do fucked up expressions is fun #update! ive been low-key concern looking at chapter 209-212 because...... #dawg i think the merging is already Happening #AM I DELUSIONAL? DAWG IT MAY BE ALREADY HAPPENINH #WHAT THE FUCK DID THOSE BEAMS OF LIGHT MEAN??? UHHH??? UH?? ERM idk tho #i might be staring at the wrong shit but yknow #another update! its just the plans furthering lmao #though... i do think the merging should be able to at least start or something... it would be interesting to see #i fucking giggling tho bc in chapter... 244? i think the old guy with the katana says they could use cursed evergy to protect themselves #they completely disregard the people of japan and its FUNNY #but yknow who ACTUALLY has non sorcerer friends and cares for them insanely so? Kugisaki and fucking todo idk why not #i just wanna see what happens i wanna see how fucked up this is gonna be #also can maki fucking uh heavenly restriction herself out of the merger or is she fucked #im asking the REAL questions on my fucking daily Kugisaki account because this is the only way i can pick apart jjk with any kind of group

[odetoscavengers]

One thing I really like from old 3d games is how they modeled creatures. they all have this cuteness to them that you dont really get idk. just thinking about hl1 headcrabs and burricks from thief 1 + 2. theres just something about that era and making the silliest motherfuckers known to man

#thats something you dont really get in like. modern games that attempt to style themselves after this era #like dont get me wrong i love games like dusk n gloomwood and they look great #they just dont have that cuteness to em #i miss the really clunky creature designs that you cant really tell whats going on #ive just been on a thief kick for quite some time and i can never bring myself to kill a burrick they are my favorites #the frog beasts are also really cute but this isnt about them #ive painted a headcrab before.... maybe its time to give the burrick some love

[luck-of-the-drawings]

been followin slimes POV of the qsmp since it started but mMY GOOOODDDDD i never expected to fall so in love with it... I LOVE THE TRADGEDY OF A COMEDIC CHARACTER! so funny so silly, who could ever take him seriously? when the reaction to grief can be so overblown and strange, its hard not to laugh! because wheres the line, really? we're just here to have fun! i look forward to the day this guy snaps! its gonna be REALLY FUNNY i tell ya hwat!!!

(CREDIT TO A COMIC I REFERENCED UNDER THE CUT)

something about this comic makes me so so emotional, and its so well framed. to discover something by the end of a comic, to follow the same line of thought as a character within a drawing, to either come to the same conclusion, or the dramatic irony of figuring it out first. it was made by the talented Lynda Barry, and she has a wonderful shop here https://drawnandquarterly.com/books/greatest-marlys/

#q!slimecicle #qsmp #qsmp fanart #qsmp slimecicle #NOT MY FIRST TIME DRAWIN SLIMECICLE BUT ITS DEF BEEN A WHHHIILE. THIS IS HOWEVER MY FIRST TIME DRAWIN THE OTHERS #LIKE ive never drawn philza or cellbit or pol or bbh before. i looked up MINIMAL refs and went off their minecraft skins. hope yall like em #FUN FACTS! i gave q!slime the green flannel (but the green plaid is silent) bc of katastrophics design for him #he also has the 3 hearts n the Bra'ad sash bc OFFCCC u just cant see that gay lil bag here #maybe one day ill draw a qslime with more detail #IN OTHER NEWS ! this series fascinates me SOOO MUCH! THE FEDS AND THE CODES N THE EGGS AND WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAANN??? #I HAVVEEE theories abt juanaflippa. SPOILER WARNING IG BUT IM ABT TO RAAAAMBLE!! #SO this totally isnt flippa right. like this is someone else. this is one of the code beasts piloting either a costume or a corpse #BOTH INTRIGUE ME. but nonetheless. this thing is NEW and it is LEARNING and it LOVES ITS DAD #ITS NOT FLIPPA BUT OHH HOW NICE IT IS TO BE FLIPPA! TO BE FED AND HUGGED AND LOVED SO SO SO MUCH #AND YET SOMETHING IS SO TERRIBLY WRONG. SOMETHING IS BLEEDING OUT AND INFECTING THE AIR AND SOIL AND SPACE #AND ITS HURTING CODEFLIPPAS DAD! ITS TURNING HIM INTO SOMETHING ELS.E. HE DOESNT CARE BUT CERTAINLY SOMEONE ELSE DOES #MAYBE THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM. BUT MOST CERTAINLY IT MUST BE EATING AT THIS POOR LITTLE CODE #THIS POISONOUS LITTLE THING. THIS DISEASE. THIS VIRUS. IT JUST WANTS TO BE HELD A LITTLE LONGER. BUT AT WHAT COST?

[autistic-beshelar]

ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him

#dont get me wrong i am enjoying this manga #but i'm failing to see how this is some great amazing autistic rep #like yeah laios is obviously autistic #and the struggles he has due to his autism are VERY relatable #but it's deeply uncomfortable that even the people closest to him are routinely awful to him #specifically for his autistic traits #and their bullying is almost always a joke #not a single person defends him #literally senshi is the only character that's never been cruel to him #well and farlyn but lbr she's also autistic and also has been in like half a chapter that ive read so far #maybe ive just not read far enough or not seen enough posts #but im not understanding why the fandom are treating it like amazing autistic rep and how it understands us so well #you could argue that the narrative tends to support laios's methods and way of thinking #but nothing else does #the scene with shuro was fucking awful to read tbh #'you're so annoying because you're autistic. how dare you think im your friend when you should have just guessed that i hated you' #and not a single person defends laios #or calls shuro out on what a fucking horrific way of treating a party member that is #like i dont know MAYBE you could have just said 'hey i don't really want to be friends' #maybe you could COMMUNICATE. #but no it's the autistic man who's the problem. for the crime of.... being too nice. #i don't have a problem with the scene. #i have a problem with the fact that shuro is framed as reasonable here. instead of utterly fucking vile. #i have a problem with none of the other characters sticking up for laios. #dungeon meshi #maybe ppl will start treating him better #i would like to continue reading #but if he continues getting bullied in EVERY fucking chapter as a 'joke' then idk man

[attackoneyebrows]

i miss you.

#station 19 #station19edit #maya x carina #maya bishop #carina deluca #station 19 spoilers #what kills me is maya doesnt even have a proper support network #she has no one in her corner except carina (whos rightfully distancing rn) #shes basically dealing w all of this alone (clearly too proud to ask for help also) #and carinas not wrong......maya wants to 'get back on track' for sure #whether it's her career or her marriage she doesnt want to derail either #shes doing these thing bc theyre boxes to tick on this 'path to get better' #i really hope they explore this further bc she needs to actually want this for herself #and thats the cognitive shift of believing in inherent self worth vs associating it with accomplishments #sigh but idk if they'll explore this angle or just have them back together in 2 eps #i want maya to love herself first before she offers that role to anyone else #also it's been awhile since ive gifed lighting this bad lmao #takes me back to lost girl days (it will never be as bad as lost girl days)

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know