#and ive been told I need to get a job

[alchemania]

Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.

Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!

It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.

#as someone with depression and who's highly sensitive this story quest hurt a LOT because ive also encountered people who don't understand. #i've been told i need to get over my anxiety. i've been asked what am i so tired from since i just lay in bed. #so furina's character and how she was treated hit very very hard for me. she's isolating herself and not coping well but she is TRYING. #she's trying so hard and she equates her worth to her role. like she literally tells you that she serves no more use to anyone. #and i wanted to shake her so hard. because it's not about what she can do #she has worth simply because she exists. full stop. she is loved and she is appreciated just for being herself #her worth isn't decided by her power yk?? #i hope she can rest and heal and find some good friends - after the way mc and paimon treated her i honestly don't think they should be #or if they are; they'd have to work to earn her trust cuz good LORD. they treated her so weird and so tone deaf!! #i've seen a lot of people complaining about it too so im glad im not alone. #anyway. there is something wrong with me i have cried actual tears over furina please god she needs a hug #and to be told she did a good job and she can rest now and things will get better #4.2 spoilers #genshin impact #furina

[soldier-poet-king]

Now that I have a New and Fancy job title (as of Monday), would it be a complete dick move to add my post grad degrees to my email signature???

Like. It's standard in the field. Everyone I email OUTSIDE of my organization includes them. I probably need help being taken seriously because I am Young Baby Child among mostly older professionals and am talked over in meetings by everyone except the IT guy (bc Ive proven to him I actually know what I'm doing and I'm the only non-IT computer literate person in the building) and one extremely elderly coworker who is my favourite person in the whole world and listens to me when I voice my opinions.

HOWEVER. My boss doesn't use hers in her email signature + I have more advanced degrees than she does. So like. It would look shitty. But I'm concerned abt being taken seriously by outside ppl (I already KNOW I'm not taken seriously by ppl inside the org, but y'know, non profit hell + I am the youngest person in the building by a SIGNIFICANT amount and have chronic baby face syndrome so I'm walking around looking like an animal crossing villager despite early greys and laugh lines)

#franposting #this isnt even a brag. my boss has been working in the field longer than ive been alive #i disagree with her methods at times but this isnt me trying to one up her #i am genuinely just trying to establish myself more widely in the profession and to be taken seriously #as someone with advanced degrees and technical skills as i build up my practical experience #i have pride and ambitions beyond my current job yknow? #which is probably selfish of me #but im GOOD at this work and i want to excel and move on to bigger things #even if my boss has it in her head that im going to be here forever/til she retires in 5 years #like im being groomed to be her successor #and i absolutely. absolutely not. i want to move onto bigger things. #UNFORTUNATELY I AM MAYBE. SECRETLY INCREDIBLY AMBITIOUS ABT RESEARCH AND INFORMATION WORK #also i just. worked hard for those degrees. i want to be proud of myself #since NO ONE ELSE IS PROUD OF ME #dont even get me started on my parents' just. non response. to my accomplishments:/// #IT'S PETTY AND SELFISH I KNOW. BUT I CRAVE PRAISE AND AFFIRMATION. I NEED TO BE TOLD IM DOING A GOOD JOB. IM INSECURE AND A PPL PLEASER

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT. #i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe? #which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.” #“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.” #and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

[misty-missdee]

Thinking heavily on putting my hair into a ponytail, and chopping it off.

#im so stressed #i cant get a job #i keep interviewing and being told i did well only to be passed up #idk what cutting my hair will solve #but #idk #i want something to change #do i need to be talked off this ledge? #can i be? #hard to say #ive set an ultimatum #if i get passed up on this job thats been stringing me along im gonna do it... #its so hot outside too so #if it ends up i need to work outside having less hair would be more ideal... #it makes me so sad #because i love my hair #but i have to wonder if people look at me and think things of me unfairly.. #obviously they do #look at me #im just #so tired is all #thats all

[hearties-circus]

I kinda feel like I've just hard erased any happiness or elation I had from being done with school all just so I wouldnt get asked a stupid question anymore I hate this I hate this

#gamer txt. #not once have i actually fucking wanted to go to college this was just the only way to make ppl stop asking me about jobs #but im realising now that was a stupid decision and i hate that i made it i hate tgat i had the chance to back out and didnt #the only thing that made school worth it before was my friends that was the only time id get to see them #now im going back to school completely without them like a fucking idiot #i know college is different from highschool i get that and i do want to learn fab weld but fuck me this was dumb #i know damn well im not going to make any new friends during this course im more terrified of people than ive ever been #and i stick out from my class like a sore thumb #whats worse is my nervousness from this has started fucking with my appetite and hunger and that is the worst possible thing it could do #that is like the number one way to break me #im already in such a vulnerable state i do not need constant fucking reminders of trauma i cant fucking escape #and im meant to just be normal and be a person and go to class on monday? #im this close 👌 to just dogging it. im pretty sure ill be getting the train in like i could full well just fuck off and leave #its not like they have my mums number she wouldnt know any different from what i told her #can i not just stay in the purgatory of being a teen old enough to be done with school but young enough to not have a job forever ? #please? im not ready for this im not i couldnt be less ready for this why did i let myself succumb to this pressure? i hate it #g-d i havent cried in. months now. this feels so. this is too much this is way too much fot me i cant do this #i dont know how i thought i could when the hell have i ever been able to do something like this on my own #theres nothing to me on my own i dont have any confidence i dont have any strength i need my friends for that and i dont have them

[timeisacephalopod]

Lol out of curiosity I looked up my old job on Indeed and yes they ARE urgently hiring for the position and if I didn't get treated like dog shit for expecting a stress free work environment with reasonable expectations and not wildly cunty management who seemed to be under the impression they were doing THE most important job at THE most important store ever maybe I wouldn't have just not shown up one day 🤷🏻‍♀️ asshole thing to do to my poor coworkers but I didn't even have the energy to quit right after spending a month and a half feeling deeply surveilled at every aspect of my job lest I get another frivolous writeup no one else got for doing their jobs worse than me so fine. You want me gone enough to threaten my livelihood and SHRUG when I point out I have rent to pay, fine, but I wouldn't put up with that behavior from anyone in my life generally and I LIKE those people so my JOB pulling bullshit? Oh hell no, if I wouldn't take it from people I CHOOSE to be around on purpose I ain't taking shit from a fucking JOB. I refuse to be in a work environment that's unaware it's a GROCERY STORE, not a 5 star establishment frequented exclusively by world leaders or some shit. Like Sam, my job is cooking food at a fucking sobeys and you're acting as if I'm disarming bombs it's so important get reasonable priorities and standards for employees and then apply them equally to managers and not EXCLUSIVELY minimum wage staff 🙄

Which is funny because my new job everyone seems surprised with how fast I've caught on to stuff down to a coworker yesterday telling me he thought I worked in a shoppers prior to the pharmacy I'm in because Im catching on so quick. This isn't unusual for me either, some time in the last five or so years I've found every workplace I'm at I end up being heavily relied on because I'm good at my job, so fucking sucks to suck for sobeys because it took me some week or so to be consistently praised for being better at the job than the guy I replaced only for them to throw that out because they think management should be able to do whatever the fuck they want while they shove minimum wage staff under a fucking microscope to ensure they're doing their shit right and even that isn't consistent. They punished me exclusively because I did not lay down to be treated as a door mat and dished the treatment I got handed. If you treat me like shit I WILL treat you the way you treat me, no worse, and sometimes a little better because I don't lose my moral standards in that treatment either. Just because I'm being an ass doesn't mean I'm willing to do whatever the fuck, just enough to ensure that the person who's decided I'm their new plaything knows that'll be going both ways so fuck off. I've never had a job so willing to keep on shit management they had at LEAST a dozen meetings with regarding performance and I was the one who got punished for being frustrated about that. But I will take a new significantly less stressful job 🙌🏻

#winters ramblings #anyway theyre “urgently hiring” and if they listened when the fuck i told them i was so stressed i was clenching my fists #so hard in my sleep my hands would be DEAD STIFF and locked in place in the morning and required me to carefully massage them #and exercise the muscles and even then my hands still hurt. i told them ive been throwing up from stress AND i told them i was job hunting #because this was all bullshit. they KNEW where i was at and they should have listened but they didnt so fine #fuck me around 17 ways to sunday teo can play at that game and i didnt come here to be involved in a game at all #but force me onto that fucking biard then dont get mad when i flip it and walk away #im a grown assed adult i have no patience for workplaces that don't understand youre not a fucking slave #and the workplace isnt something Extremely Important And Special its a cucking GROCERY STORE and i wasnt even workinh #one if the jobs that DOES absolutely make a grocery store necessary i made fucking hot food everyone treated as Top Notch Shit #when ut was frozen boxed chicken strips and ut us INSULTING to me to teach me HOW to cook fucking BOXED FOOD #and NO i did bot take that “”“too personally”“' while they were trying to ”improve“ store standards #its fucking BOXED CHICKEN STRIPS guys why the fuck are we treating it like ROCKET SCIENCE??!? #i dont actually think its unreasonable to be angry your manager cannot even trust you to make food from a fucking BOX #without a chef coming in and treating you like some kind of idiot whohas never made a food in my LIFE despite #me cooking a lot more complicated shit at home on a regular basis. give me a fucking BREAK acting as if #it was StOrE sTaNdArD changes or whatever do YOU nit understand boxed food isnt HARD to make or do you need that explained #to you?? like i take shit too personally no YOU have unreasonable standards for EXCLUSIVELY your lowest wage staff #and im NOT bring held to a higher working standard than MANAGEMENT

[tittyinfinity]

Me: Hey, please don't message/call me multiple times when I'm not responding, I don't have social energy every day and it gives me anxiety when the notifications pile up

Person: ok, this means still call & message you through text and messenger repeatedly, but this time I'll start off my messages with "I'm not trying to invade your space..." "I know you're an introvert but..." "Sorry I'm calling but I know sometimes you need a little push to be social..."

#im only still talking to this guy bc he knows the managers of the dispensaries i applied to #and he keeps saying he will introduce me to them personally so i can get the job #but hasnt made the plans yet #i told my job advocate about it #and she said if he doesnt prove that soon it means he was most likely lying to make himself look cool #but ive been to his house and he has a whole shed full of home grown weed #so i think hes legit #hes just....annoying #like the other day whenever i told him my mom and her friend were coming over to look at my car #he kept asking if he could come over and jump it #and i said no bc it wasnt turning on again after jumping it so my family needed to look at it so there wasn't any point of him stopping by #the next day i told him about how i was a bit annoyed bc i told my family i was babysitting at 6 #and they were supposed to come by at 1 #but didnt show up until my friend was pulling up with her kids #and he was like 'see you should have let me come jump it' #and i was like....no....it had to be charged for over an hour to get it running and my moms friend had to tighten some screws in the engine #and he was like oh i could have done that too #i barely know you sir.... #dani

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

when you literally live in a world that wasnt made for you 😆🔫

#dont think im gonna get into grad school. dont know what the fuck else im going to do. #i dont want to fucking work i want to research. probably wouldnt even be able to find a job in my desired fields so what would i even be #fucking doing. and at that point how would i get there. bc i dont drive. and i dont want to fucking drive. i cant #it feels like im having a panic attack when i try. so gotta find a driving school. what if it doesnt work. what if it does. im driving to #work i dont wanna do. my friends are spread out and working and dont have any time to call. since i dont drive i dont get out of the house #except to grocery shop with my mom on weekends. i dont have anything productive to do but i cant even relax properly bc i feel like im in a #panopticon with my parents and i need to at least LOOK busy while i live in their house. so im just doing nothing all day but i want to #but i CANT!!!! and i cant even broach the subject of therapy or meds which i really think i need because like. my parents just dont fucking #believe in it or whatever. like ive really essentially told my dad i think i could be autistic and he hasnt been like oh should we find #help or anything hes just been like ok cool that surely has no repurcussions on your life #even as it was part of the fucking conversation why i dont want to drive #its just. its whatever. i feel so stuck but i dont want to move forward because moving forward just means going into a world where i have tl #work a job i probably hate and make hardly enough money to live in a shitty apartment because the economy and society are fucked #trying to experience the Wonders but i cant escape the Horrors. what the fuck ever ugh

[1980ssunflower]

oh god

#vent #i feel like im going to throw up my mom is just telling me to learn how to work w ai art programs since by the time im her age #ai art is going to completely take over all art jobs #and i need to learn that since thats all art is gonna be apparently #if the world really gets to that point id fucking kill myself why would i want to live in a world like that HOW COULD I LIVE IN A WORLD #LIKE THAT I FCANT BREATHE ITS TOO MUCH I CANT TAKE IT #I DONT WANT THIS I DONT WANT THIS I NEED THIS AI SHIT TO STOP I DONT KNOW HOW ILL LIVE IF ALL MY ART ENDS UP MEANING NOTHING #IF ALL THE YEARS IVE PUT INTO ALL MY HOBBIES MEANS FUCKING NOTHING BECAUSE AI TAKES OVER IT ALL #i cant live in a world like that i genuinely cant i wouldnt want to live if i couldnt... really be an artist anymore if ai really just #takes my job as an artist ive been working towards #drawing is the only thing i have... #and i cant be a musician cause i fucking hate the music industry right now #its already so hard for me trying to live in this present day but if things got even further in this bullshit i dont know how id live #sorry for talking so much i just feel scared and panicked #why would my mom say this shit to me i recently told her how scared i was at the idea of ai taking away my dream as an artist

[pepprs]

#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running #away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made #basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not #doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start. #purrs #i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any #sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY #part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move #out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older #but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings. #forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only #made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to #move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest. #i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use #my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a #atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i #did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging #fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy #home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it? #delete later #i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 #also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️

[the-wild-wolves-around-you]

working for 12+ hours today in front of a computer screen made me come to the realization that maybe murder IS warranted sometimes 🙃🤪

#this project has been the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE FOR MONTHS NOW #i told my boss MONTHS ago that there were all these issues with this project/employee #and he kept blowing me off and telling me to give the project/employee ‘one more week’ for weeks on end #so i slog through while doing my best and then he randomly gives me a deadline for the project thats like a little over a week away #and i asked if he was going to glance through the project to give me feedback/SEE THE FUCKING PROBLEMS #and he says ‘yeah ill get to it’ #then four days before the deadline he says ‘actually im not going to look at the project just pass it off to the final editing team’ #at this point i KNOW there are problems in the project but ive read it so many times its gibberish #so im like fine whatever maybe some new eyes will help #well the new eyes helped a LOT and spotted problems that hadnt occured to me #a bunch of problems #normally im very good at my job but i just needed a little guidance on this project and got NONE until the very end #so i got up at 5am today and worked on NOTHING but this godforsaken project for like 13 hours #AND IM STILL NOT DONE #but i had to stop working tonight bc my eyeballs where literally starting to flick back and forth #with literal stress induced nystagmus #so i gotta get up at 5am AGAIN tomorrow and prob get shitty anxiety filled sleep tonight 👍🏼 #FUCK i hate being an adult #personal

[savage-rhi]

I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to #place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like #LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee #so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of #people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take #a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM) #the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore #ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team #but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up #graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made #my adhd brain go WELL SHIT #ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do #love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving #people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt #but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel #amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou #life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i #just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive #but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present #and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now #on a positive note... #my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made #a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little #im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor #i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it #but damn it im tired #thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave #if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you #please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you

[legobabyofficial]

well i have my kids stomach flu, made a fool of myself at work today, and want to die

#i just came back from a long weekend and didnt feel well but there was a ton of shit i HAD to do this morning #and then i had a 1:1 with my boss and she spent the first 10 minutes just fucking. rattling off every single thing i had done wrong #and like there WAS some stuff that needed to be dine differently #but then she started talking about a metric that i genuinely CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT because my team is SEVERELT understaffed and i just. #i started fucking crying. #because its too much pressure #and this past weekend was supposed to be really restful and good for me. #and my kid got sick. #and my husband had to work 3 doubles in a row. #so what was supposed to be a mental health vacation turned into solo parenting a sick kid #all while worrying about the work that was building up for me #and she told me that the numbers we'e putting out were unacceptable and i just. it broke me man #ive been throwing up all morning then i get chewed out for my 4 person staff not being able to do the work of 8..... #it just fucking broke me man #then she told me to just log off and that i shouldnt have been working if i were sick and fuck man #i feel so small and shitty #and bad at my job #im fucjing spiraling yall sorry

[wanderer-six]

im literally??????????????????

#i have left work every day this week like this ldkshfls #i am getting the worst assignments and they last months #“u are simply too good at ur job no one else can do it” DUDE FUCK U IM DYING #im being dramatic and a complainer but my god #ive been told “it's almost done” every day since february #let me out of this prison #dsflkhfdsflkhfdsklfdslkfsdlkdfslkfdslk #im so sorry 2 everyone reading this im just FR*CCIN STR*SSED #need to watch a badbatch about it #ive been having dreams with a badbatch in it so at least that makes me smile

[newfruits]

i need a physiotherapist and massage therapist that will twist me up like a pretzel and stretch me and make my stupid fucking joints go in the right place and do deep tissue massage on the muscle knots until theyre gone. it will be painful as fuck but im living in a flare up right now and it sucks ass. im in so much more pain every day than usual and i would do just about anything to make it stop

#glub glub #for context i have fibromyalgia. and for me it manifests primarily as chronic muscle knots in my back and neck #which stem from joint issues and structural imbalances in my body and repetitive strain injuries from min wage jobs #and ive been living with one particularly problematic knot for many years and have tried as many things as i can afford #and none were helpful. tho im on a fibro medication that i feel like it takes the edge off the daily pain level #also i cant remember if this was before or after i remade my blog as a teen but around 17/18 #i had severe hip pain and needed a cane to get around school #i was insistent on getting an answer and was eventually told bursitis of the hip. which just means swelling #so they (the establishment) acknowledged that there was something wrong they could diagnose but not why #and over the years i would have moderate to severe pain in localized areas especially from working #needed to wear a knee brace to prevent what felt like joint laxity and pain while working snd going out for a long time #but sometimes the problem knee would switch. thankfully i never had both flaring at the same time #and then the issues i still have in my shoulder/neck/back on my right side from repetitive motion injuries from working #anyways i rambled on way longer than i meant to enjoy this deep dive into the history of my chronic pain