#and ive got this thought in the back of my mind that i need to earn food like where the fuck is that coming from

[baalzebufo]

THE WEIRD AL-CANA - 21. THE WORLD- ALBUQUERQUE

---

we made it! and what other card could possibly be the world but Albuquerque? its a quintessential al experience to me. an al-xperience, if you will. albuquerque is full of so many stupid little details there was no way I was gonna get them all in one picture so I just cherrypicked a couple references ;p

thanks for coming on this journey with me to the world-famous albuquerque holiday inn :) but its not QUITE over yet- tomorrow i'll be posting all of these cards in one big ol' post for your reblogging pleasure. and with a more well-written expression of gratitude, to boot. until then, watch out for rabid flesh-eating weasels!

[Prev Card]

#alloyart #weird al #weird al yankovic #weird al-cana #originally i thought it'd be funny to try to put the entire lyrics of albuquerque in the background of this card just filling the thing up #but uh. that would've been a little too much. #my second stupid plan was to just make the description of this post the entire lyrics. im also not doing that for everyones dashboards sake #so simply take this time to visualize albuquerque in your mind #what? you need some help with that? #well... ive got a couple stories that might be useful... #you see way back when i was an itty bitty boy-

[ilonacho]

it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat

#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom #2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places #and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again #like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up #not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day! #i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation? #like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary #like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??) #but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks #and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it? #i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep #before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything #and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’ #but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend #i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it #but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this #i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man #ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything #i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for #not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for #and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween #i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art #+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here) #it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this

[ozlices]

i have to make appointments & also let my doctor know id rather continue one of the new meds she put me on bc it actually helped but ive been completely unmedicated for 2 fucking days & the thought of doing Anything makes me wanna throw up im so over being a person

#mine #i rly do not have it in me to make appointments dawg i have medical trauma can i get used to one new doctor #before im tossed around like a gd hot potato to numerous others. i literally attend my appointments w my cane #what's not clicking abt me having VERY fucking low energy in the aftermath of sm straining stress bruh #but like i dont have a choice bc i could have some of my meds stopped if i dont see certain doctors & im just here like 🫠 #i feel somewhat stupid like damn i rly thought finally i had a chill doctor w common sense but no i still gotta fight for my gd life #just be given say over MY OWN GODDAMN WELLBEING #'oh well this causes physical health concerns' to be completely blunt idfc anymore. #truly i fucking do not #my body is a fucking nightmare my entire system resents at this point bc we always have some lvl of bs going on w it #we've no choice but to stop fucking caring bc the numerous mental strains we're dealing w worsen them ON THEIR OWN #& also like literally fuck off bc my body wouldn't be this shit if doctors actually TOOK CARE OF ME PROPERLY #before it got this bad. #there's no fucking fixing shit now by worsening my already overwhelmed & strained body/mind by making me a gd hot potato #if im not Actively Perishing or on the immediate brink of the risk IDC #I NEED TO FUCKING BE ALLOWED TO //CHILL THE EVER LOVING FUCK OUT// #//that// SHOULD BE THE PRIORITU #ive been strained for YEARS but esp since last year to a CONSTANT degree #can i fucking get one GODDAMN foot on the ground to pick myself back up jfc #im so tired & annoyed & sick of there always being SOMETHING #i just wanna fucking chill & finish my preps to stream again & get back to pursuing what i love please #im gonna LOSE MY MIND

[technicalthinker]

I haven't even rewatched Rogue One yet but I realise I am still so incredibly emotionally compromised by the ending, specifically the ending Cassian and Jyn scenes. Seeing gifs, bits of it in edits or just thinking about it gets to me and god I rly need to rant about it and explore why (under the cut bc it got long lmao, warning for rogue one spoilers obv if you haven't seen it)

This breakdown is mostly from memory so I've prob misremembered details that is gonna ruin me on a rewatch.

Like ofc we have all the baggage of the entire movie, their conflict and the way they've connected in the background. But I think it's how in the end they're both battered and bruised. They're worn down, struggled to reach this point, and at the end Cassian managed to get up there to save Jyn with his last strength. It is all just scrambling for a win, giving it all they got to just do this one thing (the way everyone on their team has sacrificed themselves to get them here really just enforces that)

And then the moment in the elevator is just... not a word said but it gets me because it's so vulnerable. Both these characters have hard exteriors that they project to the world but in that moment they just look at each other with so much emotion and love. Cassians look especially is just so tired and yet love and admiration for Jyn. The performances here rly are.. it hits me. It's also physically intimate but in a way that just feels calm, soft, like they're resting. And it hits the feeling of, the realisation that exists between the characters from here on out "oh maybe we could've been something-".

and then out on the beach, they're proud. "do you think anybody's listening?". and the thing is, we know SOMEONE IS LISTENING. they did win. this isn't a tragedy of them trying and still failing, they've completed their mission. and they don't know it, but we do, they've saved the galaxy. because they decided to hope and love and do the right thing.

But the tragedy is that they're not going to make it. The fight is over. They're not going to survive this, but there is no fight left to take. They've done enough fighting, so for them to in the end face something so unavoidable is almost peaceful you know? The fact that they get to face the end together is beautiful, but that they have to die at all is so damn unfair. The comfort they share, the support, and god I think Diego Luna summed it up pretty well in the clip that "that hug represents everything that could have been but didn’t happen" ( x ). And so it is sad to mourn what they're losing, that they don't get to live in the galaxy they've saved. They don't get to see the end of the rebellion.

So in the end there's sadness between them as well, sadness and fear of the end, but they hold each other and find comfort in the other. Both emotional, but also as a reminder that they did win this together. Once again, the performances and the shots and everything is just beautiful. It is soft, intimate and the last closeups of their faces as they just hold the other will be stuck in my brain forever.

So in summary, I think the reason why it gets to me, that I'm feeling when typing this out, is that there is this blend of so many different emotions happening in this one sequence. This is also why I've been struggling with grasping it, because there's so much at the same time that captures different things from the human experience.

The vulnerability they dare to share with each other, the pride of winning, the fact that instead of doubt they embrace the hope of their rebellion! But then the sadness and sorrow of what could've been, fear of what to come, but also the comfort of having each other, having shared this experience and saved the galaxy. It is both that we feel what the characters are experiencing, but for the viewers that know they're faith isn't misplaces, that light will prevail, that someone is listening, that really just hits it home for me.

#i started tearing up in the car omw to a dog training event bc i listened to music and thought about THEM #like ive been looking around a bit in the rebelcaptain tag and i like lost my mind basically bc i got so sad about them :)))) #so god i rly need to get my feelings out and dissect WHY #star wars blogging #amanda rambles #im also getting my period very soon so i know thats DEFINITELY adding to my emotions but GODDAMNIT #IM GOING THROUGH IT!! #the cassian emotions have just gotten worse diego luna you madman your emotional performance haunts me every day #i barely read through this i was just possessed and wrote this out while crying a bit #i think the big blend of emotions i describe here comes back in andor and is why andor slaps #like the fact that an emotional scene usually has like. 3+ emotions associated with it.

[bibleofficial]

so ive accidentally stayed up WAY TOO FUCKIN LATE w my ethiopian KING - i went to take pics for this class & baked & we ran into each other on the stairwell & then we went to his place to drop his bags & for ciggys (where we grabbed LI & GOT HIM TO SMOKE TOO before he went upstairs again) & the 2 of us sent on a walk so i could take pics for this one clase & boy howdy did i learn SO much, also btw ethiopia is currently, still, in a civil war

#stream #hes absolutely fascinating like girl we both chat SO much & hes also on topic bc i derail SO fucking much & then we’ll go on tangent then #subtangetn then he’ll get us back to what we were talking abt but i literally Cannot Do That im juts like oh um… what we were taling abt #anyway #yea its 3am & i need to be up at 10am #ALSO i had tea w the chinese flatmates bc i saw arthur & i got to learn so much & also yen je explained different parts of chinese grammar #etc & it turns out that he is INTERESTED IN LEARNIGN SPANISH SO WERK IM GOING TO HELP & ALSO I MET THE OTHER FLATMATE TODAY TOO #girl ive been playing the sims w myself i’ll be talking to someone then do the little like person+ (green bar) like frendshop increased #persuasion increase d #so albert(o) is from mexico city bc i also was like is ur name albert ? sick um yea is it like actually alberto just curious xx so hes #alberto now #& arthur told me his real mame but i forgot bc literally im still running on the 4hrs sleep i got last night like yall i was like wow i #pigged out last night haha - literally bc i ate an entire bag of baby carrots - so i thought im not hungry ? no girl ur colon just full so i #just havent eaten bc then i was going to after my irst class today but i saw the chinese & harassed them until it was like 15mins until i #had to haul ass to get to the japanese class & girl … i know i was such a bitch i was losing my mind it was 2hrs & she was like ‘we will #only use an hour !’ BUT NO WE USED THE WHOLE HOUR I NEED THESE WEEABOO AS MFS TO SLOW DOWN #i FULLY dont know what im doing & these bitches r soeaking sentences & also 1 guy was arguing w the professor like girl .. shes literally #japanese ur going to have to take this L like ur british thru & thru baby #so anyway #im going to go make french fries in the baking sheet that might give me cancer #ive also never used a baking sheet to make french fries im sry i just dont get to eat these in the states bc i love hating myself ? #ive been eating so much mayo i love peri peri omg … kewpie mayo …… im squatting

[savage-rhi]

I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to #place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like #LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee #so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of #people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take #a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM) #the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore #ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team #but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up #graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made #my adhd brain go WELL SHIT #ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do #love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving #people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt #but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel #amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou #life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i #just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive #but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present #and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now #on a positive note... #my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made #a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little #im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor #i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it #but damn it im tired #thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave #if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you #please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you

[onepiexe]

arrived at plant place b4 they open lol

#logbook #its raining i thought it'd take longer. .thats ok tho #so im just making lists of what i'm bringing over to abc's to leave. . #ive got a desk i'll never fit at rents now. mugs and tea. potentially my stereo set and vinyls?? #also plants. .for sure it will be a plant and music vibe space. #need a nice chair for it #and maybe one of my rugs even tho its carpet lol #i may bring my plant shelf over. or i'll find one somewhere else #havent decided yet. .i have shelves at home so. #home with rents* #there sure are several ppl walking IN with plants b4 it opens lol #yeah idk. ive just been having a good weekend. #yesterday 🦜 and i went and visited 🌼 at work and got him a pot and syngonium for his sister #ikkkkk we started drama bc he and i walked arm in arm and leaned on each other and passed a drink back and forth #meanwhile 🌼 is going hey this is 🦜 my husband lmao. #someone was like??? ian youre working? and i was like nah i drove 🦜 here for a gift and it blew at least 3 ppls minds lol #we're all enjoying causing the drama pool to spiral lol

[hella1975]

hi hella im very proud of you and your writing and your healing and even if ur not at the same spot as taob zuko thats a-okay <3 and yes you are still hot i did read every tag 🤠

(feel free to not even respond to this either cuz ik u said delete later in ur tags i just wanted to send u some love)

im kissing ur nose tenderly anon ily thank you for this <3333

#AND IM STILL HOT LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO #id like to be clear im actually in a pretty good place mentally atm i think (ive got a bit of a paranoia about how im not very good #at measuring my own mental health if that makes sense? like ILL think im doing great atm and then someone will be like #'hey you are very visibly doing poorly atm are you okay' and im like hey what the fuck) #but this is just a thought that kinda eats away at the back of my mind #so basically im fine no one needs to worry it's just. a thing #living loving and laughing! #ask #taob asks

[weenhands]

.

#i think i talk alot on here about wanting to go back to a younger version of myself #like mourning a part of me that once was and never got to be?? #well two days ago i sorta decided i didnt want that and that im essentially depersonalizating myself from ....Myself #like im still her. i still think like her and i always was her #like theres no version of me i need to go bsck to #ill think and think and maybe assume ive reached a way on how to be just like her again #live like her again but i sorta always was and always could and #i think i was just running in a labyrinth of my mind #and thoughta #** thoughts. i dont need to mourn or grieve #or miss or look back #and for once i feel like im on the right path. im not letting stuff pass me right before my eyes #and im not doing anything wrong #ill graduate in a year and im growing older and everytbing feels...right. #idk yeah just realized thst all of that mourning and wishing is all fake #i guess thats why lately im like Waaahh im so bored #bc it means life is as vacant and empty like. a blank canvas as it was always since i was young #and i can do what i want #and i also found my own closure with stuff relating to other people from my past. On my own #and thats also made it so thzt my brain doesn't feel like #sometbjng is haunting me. pain haunting me #so my thoughts have. been empty #and im confused #bc what happens to me. when for years i thought everything was wrong #what do i do now..... #<- answer: go on the swings #vent

[socksandbuttons]

im sensing...... smugness but also he’s gonna have a similar fashion taste as dream (but shinier??????)

#idk if that makes sense #but i wont tell u who he is yet #he is however been at the back of my mind to try and design for a while #altho every attempt is just bones practice lol #we're going for Orange in this palette #if it stays #the real question is me going 'is he the same guy from my sketches or is he a new guy' #because the guy from sketches is absolutely an attempt at another UH whats the word revamp??? #some iteration of a sans au that ive been trying to get Down #its just hard #i love that design however i need to make some equally papyrus version #but.... not.... that au????? #if that makes sense #thats why he and dream are same vien but not the aus they were suppose to be anymore #UMMMMMM #anyway i could at length on deigning and whatnot about my boys buT RN #i got an hour to get the brain thoughts down

[blackmoldmp3]

ok so it has taken like 3 years of therapy but i think im finally understanding things. fucked up thats its taken me this long to kind of get a handle on basic shit weve been repeating every couple weeks but yknow theres been a lot going on for me in my life and in my body

#i rlly did have just a full fuckin breakdown in fall 2019 which is extremely funny in retrospect #lads u ever go on a little roadtrip w a friend and then promptly lose ur fucking mind the second u get back home #quit my job changed my name cried for hours every day out of fear and despair. got an extremely stupid haircut that ive kept all this time #MIXED EPISODE. HORRIBLE DO NOT RECOMMEND. JESUS #you ever get so so awake and alive and Aware but everything is fucking horrible #these tags got away from me anyway basically. im starting to realize that im not psychic as in i cannot divine other ppls thoughts abt me #also ive been making phone calls when i need to. realizing that maybe im not inherently horrible etc

[birbtails]

.

#gods #im .. in trouble this semester #which sucks bc i was doing so much better last semester #i stopped going to therapy!! #which i think i knew at the time was a Problem #but my therapist suggested it and i didn't want to but i couldn't come up with a better reason than im worried ill nosedive next semester #to be fair to me while i was feeling so much better i knew i wasnt .. stable i guess? #in her defense i can't tell anyone the whole truth even if my life was on the line #and by cant i mean some combination of wont dont want to and its instinctive #but the problem is im failing one of my classes and im at least a little bit suicidal and i havent told anyone really and gods i feel lonely #(and by a little bit suicidal i mean thinking of ways to kill myself 2 days ago. im feeling better now but i don't trust it) #(by feeling better i mean im not Actively thinking of methods but it definitely crosses my mind as a Possibility) #(although i guess its a bit less i want to die and a bit more i want someone to find me before i die and help me) #so anyways this semester might be replacing 10th grade as the worst year of my life #im just.. so tired #i don't want to keep living like this #and im sucking it up and making myself do better but i Hate this #and ive got to think about summer plans bc i don't want to go back to my parents house but i also Really want to bc i can see my brother and #maybe i can see my friends(?) and maybe if i tell my parents everything that's been going on theyll take care of me? #but i Really want to stay here bc i always regret going home and bc ive gotten used to living on my own and i really like all the freedom it #gives me?? but i need to get an internship or a job or something if i want to stay here but its So Late and now that im thinking about it im #worried that ill be so isolated here that ill feel worse? but if i get a therapist here then maybe itll be okay?? #i don't know #and im almost done with my junior year and i don't know what i want to do with my future and #i just never thought id get this far yknow? i honestly thought i wasnt going to make it to 18 or college and now im almost 21 and so close #to graduating?? and i don't know how to face the rest of my life #im just tired and stressed and depressed #i just want a hug and a friend that i can tell everything to #ne ways im just tired and whiny and i need to suck it up and get groceries and do my hw

[bloggirl8842]

Makes me so so sad that my first relationship was bad for me even though nothing explicitly bad happened. I see all these things about first loves or firsts in general and how fun it is but all I felt was obsessive, scared, confused, very rarely good. I only had fun when I was drunk (and he always made sure I was safe when I was drunk ofc) but the rest of it-- and even that-- was so tense and fraught, like trying to make unoiled gears turn

#i HATE that i now associate this w him because that was a friend and now i dont trust him in the slightest and i cant think of him too long #without developing all these unsubstantiated worries. i said i want to be friends again at some point but i really dont know if i can do it #i want to because i miss what was there before but like he as a person is now a trigger for me. its odd because we spoke once since the #breakup and it was good for me at least. it felt good. it felt relieving like having that friend back but if his absence inspires so much #worry (not worry for him but worry about him (who is he really? am i safe around him? is he safe around me? I don't feel safe)) then no. #i need so so so much time to even understand what happened and why it feels so bad and i need an ''after'' to play out to get a real #picture of who anybody involved actually is. #i dont trust him at all even though i want to. what sucks too is i have a great intuition around these things so i know intellectually ther #'s likely nothing that off about him but that he as he currently is is just very bad for me as i currently am. and vice versa. but that fee #like world ending panic if i think about it too much. god i cant wait for september to be over. if he brings up trying to be friends again #(which I hope he won't) I'll have to show him this or some other thing I've written during our time apart so he gets just how much time i #need bc in the moment ill be so relieved to be talking again that ill forget this feeling #we’re working on a show tgt about the devil and in those panic moments that triggers me a bit bc ive had sparse and easy to shut down but #still scary moments where i reflect on very very specific instances and think oh yeah the devil possessed him in that moment. and then im #like girl nooooo it fucking didnt what happened was actually [X] but the fact that my mind even goes there is INSANE #not unprecedented unfortunately. but insane. i was telling my mom some of these things and she was like ‘’that poor kid’’ and i was crying #like ‘’I KNOW he thought he got someone normal and he got ME’’ #its so funny hes sad about the breakup in like a normal way meanwhile im like i dont care about the breakup but i think ive committed some #cardinal sins i think there is evil in the water and i may be exhibiting mild psychotic symptoms that ive been suppressing for many years. #i did really leave bc i was just not into it though #this is all like side effects. honestly issues ive been having for years and years but which were triggered and which id been suppressing #since like may/june #i just was not into it and i wanted to be but i wasnt and i got confused #this’ll be a fun memory that i sort of can’t talk about one day

[autisticlee]

I hate when I tell people that something they tell me to do/try doesn't work for me, I tried it and it didn't work, it won't work for me because it doesn't consider my particular circumstances, i'm unable to do it because X reason, or i'm uncomfortable doing something, and their response is that i'm ~not even trying! just giving up! making excuses! complaining too much! being negative! ignoring their advice! dismissing them when they're just trying to help!~

why don't you listen to me????? if you truly want to help, you will listen to me, consider my circumstances, needs, boundaries, etc, and not make it all about YOU. especially when I don't even want advice and just want support/comfort.

#lee rambles #i dont know what to tag this lmao #it was just a random thought #I can't stand people who do this. they will guilt trip you for not listening to them and gaslight you if it doesn't work #because they're Always Right and you have to listen to them or it upsets them. #the amount of “friends” i had like this...and they dont get why being like this is wrong and why i hate it lmao #just do (thing that doesnt consider my needs/difficulties) i did it easily! oh you wont try or listen to me? dismissive! inconsiderate!“ #one from my previous friend group kept dping this to me. i think she just liked bossing people around and making them do what she says #she was the self proclaimed mother and leader of the group and decided the ones in the group who did everything she said were her favorites #i didnt do what she said so she alienated me from the group and everyone that were her favorites turned their backs on me #another one even further back when i talked about my horrible relationship with my family and wanting to move out but unable #shes like i moved out at 17 on my own and was roommates with strangers until i got married a couple years later! #but her roommates were horrible and she had a hard and bad time. i'm not able to be independent and live on my own #i dont trust rooming with strangers. i dont havw friends who want me and will room with me. i cant get hired by anyone. how will i pay! #she didnt consider any of that and told me to “just do it. dont think about it. worry about it later” thats dangerous and irresponsible #she got upset at me when i told her that. because i just need to do stupid dangerous things that i know im incapaple of! #if i know something wont work out i dont want to do it! i need a full thorough plan and see the end or a stable result! or i cant do it. #ugh. now im kind of off topic. this cane because ive had people trying to “be nice” and suggest mindfulness/meditation #like i talked about in my precious post. and theyd get so angry at me for saying it doesnt work because i “didnt try” or whatever. I DID. 🙄

[jewshboy]

who knew a week off of work would fix my mental illness

#for months ive had a lot of things bothering me but they werent urgent so i focused on other things #but it was always there... in the back of my mind... haunting me #but this week ive been actually able to be a person and do my hobbies and THINK #I mean I'm always thinking but those are my adhd thoughts they dont matter #feel like this burden has been lifted off of me #sexy. life is good baby #like summer is here #ive finally started my portfolio #i got a sewing machine and im in love with it #my job is gonna transfer me to the city I move to when the time comes so i dont have to look for one during my move #i am in a loving a healthy relationship where my needs are met #and i thought id have a bit more trouble being in a polycule but hey turns out when ur secure in ur relationship and life #its actually really wonderful to see ur partner be loved by other people #im getting a haircut soon!!! excited #i also think i finally figured out my next tattoos which has been bothering me for so long #exCITEDDD

[minhosimthings]

Sample Session || 18+

Synopsis: In which you ask your boyfriend for a semen sample

Pairings: Sunghoon × fem!reader, non idol au

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, p in v sex, rough sex, overstimulation, unprotected sex (not for you at all) masturbation (male), spit as lubricant, praise, degradation, swearing, rough dom Sunghoon, sub!reader, reader wears pink lingerie, boob fixation, dirty talk eyyy, collecting semen in that tube because we medical students, mentions of Yunjin from Le Sserafim and Gaeul from IVE

A/N: this is my submission for @deluluriddhi's 500+ followers event which you can find here! Had a shit ton of fun writing this though so here you go babies!

Being a doctor has its advantages.

You get to help people, you get a shit ton of money (student debt sucks but hey), you get a hot boyfriend, you can correctly pronounce and know the meaning of choledocholithiasis.

Did I mention hot boyfriend?

Park Sunghoon. Possibly the hottest and the only surgeon-in-training you'd ever want to have inside of you all day long.

Of course the walls still speak of the times he railed you in the room where they kept the crp training dolls, but we don't speak about that anymore.

But one of the greatest advantages of having a Park Sunghoon, as you soon found out, was that he proved useful in a quest.

For a particularly awkward thing.

"Sperm samples?" Yunjin gasped, almost spilling her coffee on you, "we have to collect sperm samples?"

"For the last time, yes." Gaeul groaned, massaging her temples, Yunjin had been asking the same thing since the past hour.

"How on earth are we going to get semen samples?" Yunjin asked, turning to you for some reason.

"Alright ladies, time to seduce some men." Gaeul laughed, sipping her frappuccino.

"Y/N already seduced one." Yunjin groaned, deflating her body onto the table, "Hey, get some for us too will you?"

"Number 1, we need to have different samples, and number two how the hell am I gonna ask him?" You quizzed the girls, who looked dumbfounded.

"Maybe..you know." Yunjin began, and you realised she had the same face on as she did whenever she saw the extremely phallic design of the law building at your college, "Just do the oogey-boogey with him."

Gaeul's frappucino can spit out her nose, as she cackled loudly, garnering the attention of many people in the cafe.

"The oogey-boogey YUNJIN WHAT?" Gauel kept laughing, holding her stomach tightly, "Is that your way of saying that Y/N needs to seduce Sunghoon into somehow giving her his semen?" She said, when her laughter died down.

"Absolutely not!" You protested. The idea of seducing your boyfriend was...nice to think of but to actually have a practical session? You would have rather jumped off a cliff.

"Just ask him today, we have a holiday tomorrow, so incase the oogey-boogey indeed does oogey-boogey you have semen! Simple."

Gaeul's frappucino was subjected to being ejected out of her nose again, as she rolled over in fits of laughter.

This wasn't you.

This definetly wasn't you, Sunghoon thought.

His mind was racing at a hundred kilometres per the second, and his bag full of pastries for you was abandoned on the floor as soon as he saw what lay in front of him.

A reward for his hard work today? The thought of what he had done to deserve you was running a lap through his brain. You, in your pretty pink lace, with white trimmings, and pearls on your neck, the ones he bought you of course.

"Well hello there, gorgeous." He said, grabbing your waist in his arms, as he always did when he got back home. But this time, with a different purpose.

"All dressed up for me today?" He quizzed you, placing a kiss at the nape of your neck. It was pathetic how much the simple action made your hole so wet.

Sunghoon toyed with the pretty pink lace of your bra, kissing up and down your collarbone. God had you changed your perfume? It seemed so intoxicating to him. Your hands came to rest on his shoulder, as you nibbled the tip of his ear a bit, which made his dick throb inside his pants.

"Come on." He mumbled through his kisses, lifting you into his arms, making you wrap your legs around his waist, which you did promptly.

The one thing that Sunghoon would have never expected was the various medical equipment that lay on your bed.

"Y/N." He glanced at you suspiciously, putting you down on your feet, "what's all this?"

You awkwardly cleared your throat and rushed over to the bed, picking up a tiny test tube and shoving it in your boyfriend's hands.

"Alright so I have an assignment and I need your help." You said, a bit more seriously than you had wanted to.

"Do you need me to get you pregnant or something?" Sunghoon chuckled, his eyes darkening, "Cause I won't say no."

"Actually it's not that."

"Then what is it, princess?"

"Canihaveyoursemensampleplease." You mumbled, or more properly, to say, rapped.

"Y/N, proper sentences please?"

Sighing heavily to yourself, you gulped and wrapped your arms around Sunghoon again, pressing a chaste, sweet kiss to his pink lips.

"I need a semen sample for an assignment." You mumbled into his ear, albeit a but louder this time. Sunghoon smirked into your neck.

"That's it?" He asked, a cocky smile spreading on his face. His baby, needs a sample from him? He thought it was the most adorable thing ever.

"Yeah...it's fine if you say no though!" You panicked, looking at him with widened eyes. But Sunghoon only chuckled again and raised your chin to his level with his finger.

"How could I say no when you're asking so nicely?" He said, guiding you over to the bed. Kicking off his shoes, Sunghoon settled in nicely between the sheets, while you awkwardly sat at the edge, handing the tube to him.

"Don't want to join me baby?" Sunghoon asked, taking off his belt and his trousers, and pulling you in for a sudden kiss, by grabbing your face with his hands.

"You're a medical student too Hoon, you know I can't." You rolled your eyes at him.

"Alright, but do me a favour. Hold the tube in place for me will you?" He handed the tube back to you, and you bit your lip. Holding it in place. In other words, bending over to make Hoon see your cleavage.

"If that's what'll get you off, then fine." You grumbled, although your panties were getting wetter by the second at the idea.

Sunghoon leaned against the bedframe, relaxing into the sheets, holding his throbbing cock with one hand. He began to jerk off hard, his hand rising to the tip of the cock, where more fat drops of precum accumulate, feeling the alcohol of your perfume take over the body,

"that what you want, princess?” he spits on his cock and starts jerking off again while he speaks his hand doesn't stop, slow movements, up and down as if he wanted to feel the familiar sensation of your walls clenched around him. He could feel a knot forming in his stomach, at the sight of seeing your tits, lined perfectly in your lingerie. The sight of it made him go mental.

His hand never abandons his cock, squeezing, going up and down without losing rhythm. Sunghoon began to feel signs of orgasm so he reduced the speed of his hand, waiting for what will come next.

Sunghoon thinks while squeezing his cock tightly, holding by the base his fingers massage the balls, he climbs his hand slowly and passes his thumb over the head of the cock dripping precum, spreading and with his eyes glazed, little moans escaping his lips. Sunghoon sits more centered on the bed, drops of sweat run down his hair, dripping and turning a trail around his neck, chest and belly, his body is so sensitive to touch that the drops of water seem to scratch while the sheets seem to hug him.

"Fuck—im close." He whimpered, eyes rolling back as the knot in his stomach broke and the next moment, his hand was drenched in cum, and you were holding a test tube filled with what you needed.

"Shit" Sunghoon fell back on the bed, while you happily inserted the semen into your carrier so that it stayed safe. You crawled promptly into the bed with him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you so much Hoonie, I had no idea how I was going to get the-"

"What about my payment princess?" Sunghoon's whispered growl in your ear left you crumbling.

His touch left your skin burning in desire for more and before you could even catch a breath his hands grabbed your legs and you find yourself wrapped around his waist. Your hair was soft between his fingers and as he gently pulled it, you let out a little groan. 

"Hoonie–" you whimpered, feeling a blush creep up to your cheeks.

He loved seeing you like that, confused, embarrassed, submissive, and highly aroused. Holding your gaze for another moment, he rubbed his hand over your wet folds, gathering your slick on his palm. When he finally bent a finger and slipped it between your lower lips, he watched you closely, and as a soft squelching sound rang in his ears, he saw you writhing in discomfort, frowning slightly, but it made him smile at you, and your embarrassment was quickly forgotten.

Holding your waist firmly, Sunghoon flipped you over onto the bed with a rough thump, making you moan at the very sensation of his biceps touching your body.

"So wet for me already?" Sunghoon chuckled, removing your panties slowly, "You're so adorable."

"Shut up." You groaned, feeling embarrased again, "Hoonie, we ran out of condoms, maybe we should-"

"You're on birth control right?" Sunghoon pressed a kiss to your neck, making you mewl when his tip slightly touched your pussy, "You're not leaving this bed until the sheets are either drenched or until you've fainted."

His voice was rough as he lined himself up with your entrance as you panted in anticipation, fingers digging into his back when he finally entered you, moaning deeply at the feeling of your walls starting to clench around him.

The stretch when he enters you burns gloriously, your mouth falling open in a perfect, round ‘O’ of ecstasy. Sunghoon fills you slowly, burying himself to the hilt, so deep that you can practically feel him rearranging your insides.

“That’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.” he praises.

Discomposed, his voice thickens, rounding the vowels and blurring the ends of his words. Sunghoon rocks his hips one shallow thrust striking a spot inside you that has your vision whiting out, ecstasy buzzing in your heavy limbs.

“That felt good, huh? Yeah. I know, I know,” he soothes, swallowing your whines with wet, deliberate kisses, tongue sweeping every corner of your mouth and teeth grazing your lips.

Your noises grew louder, as did the wet squelching sounds as your pussy fluttered around him, muscles clenching, a burning warmth gathering inside you. You sank your nails into the old wood, holding on for dear life as his pelvis smacked against your cushioned ass in quick succession.

 “Can’t you handle it, baby?” Sunghoon looked at you with pity, "Is it too much for your pathetic pussy?"

“I can-fuck, I can—handle it.” you whimpered. You clearly, could not handle it.

His own grunts filled your ears, adding to the tension building up in your belly, those deep vibrations pushing you right over the edge.

"Hoon-I—ah FUCK!"

You cried out when your walls clamped around him, that tight coil within exploding into a thousand tiny lights that made your entire body convulse against him. He felt your orgasmic contractions, and despite the soreness in his leg, he kept fucking you through your release, your juices helping in easing your tight passage, but he still strained to keep his rhythm. His fingers dug into your soft skin, and he felt a bead of sweat running along his temple.

That unlocked something inside of him. While he still held you, leaving sloppy kisses on your neck, your shoulders, anywhere he could reach, he slammed into you, forcing your small body to jerk in his arms with each thrust. He grunted and moaned, nearly panting, as he crammed himself inside of you.

It doesn’t take long for your next orgasm to build up, releasing it with a silent cry as you unintentionally dig your fingers into Sunghoon's back causing him to groan in your ear in pleasure. He keeps his thrusts consistent as you begin to leak around his cock and onto the blanket beneath you. There’s no doubt you’ll have to change the bedding later. 

All you could do was bury your head in his chest until with one more thrust, he pushed into you, unloading pump after pump of cum. Afterwards, he slumped down, slowly dragging his cock out of your stuffed cunt, leaving you empty and internally screaming at the intoxication of the burn.

"Shit-" Sunghoon plopped down on the bed, next to you. Both of your chests rose and fell in unison, as you managed to steeply catch your breath.

A moment of calm silence arose before-

"Does your professor need any more sampler or...?" Sunghoon asked, eliciting a laugh out of you.

"Nope, just the one." You chuckled at his unseriousness as he pulled you in for cuddles.

"You're changing the sheets this time Hoon."

"Damn it."

Bonus

"So you did the oogey-boogey with him?"

"Yunjin!"

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