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hellskitchenette · 5 months

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Ginger and Lemon II

Matt Murdock x Autistic!Fem!Reader series

Read it on AO3

Chapter II: Madame Butterfly

Summary: You overthink a lot about how to thank the sexy lawyer for his intervention at Josie's and end up baking a cake. How would he react when you appear in his firm's door?

Word count: 2,729

Warnings: Christmas Fluff!!!, Protective Matt Murdock, No use of y/n, no pronouns for reader, Matt Murdock is a Ray of Sunshine, Selective Mutism, Bad self-talk, Self-Hatred, Matt Murdock Gets a Hug, Matt Murdock is a Stalker, Mental Breakdown and Meltdowns!

A/N: More fluf for y’all! Annoying bestie is introduced here, the extrovert every introvert needs in their life. As a neurodivergent person, this is a love letter to the nice neurotypical s in my life that help me navigate this confusing world. anyways, hope you enjoy this! Was already up on AO3, but I figured I should update here too.

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“Are you blind?” He is totally into you!” Your best friend grabbed some chips from the bag making loud crunching noises.

“Actually, the one who's visually impaired is him, Cece.” You responded squeezing your eyes because of the annoying sound.

“What? A disabled guy?” She left her snack to grab your wrist with her greasy hand. “Is this another complex saviour crush? And be honest.” Cece was now staring at you seriously.

“No, I really like him.” You moved uncomfortably on the sofa while blushing. Cece had come over to have dinner a watch a movie, but the recent events were now more interesting than some Netflix Period Drama. “Besides, he was the one saving me, remember?” Your friend hummed and relaxed a bit against the back of the couch. She went feral about the possibility of someone taking advantage of you again.

“So this Mr Murdock seems like a true gentleman,” Cece said with an all-knowing smirk on her face. She really had an understanding of your taste in men. And that involved some old-fashioned chivalry straight from a Jane Austen novel.

“He truly seems like one.” And you blushed again remembering a cinematic low-motion version of the moment your hands touched.” What do you think then? What would be appropriate to thank him?” You fidgeted with your chopsticks in the half-empty bowl. Normally you’d enjoy your usual Thai food order, but your stomach today was just against food. Cece crossed her long legs and smirked suggestively, raising one of her curved brows.

“It depends on your intentions with him.” She said, and you bit your lip agitated.

“My intentions? I just want to thank him for his kindness.” You explained, mortified by the fact you couldn’t even say more than a monosyllable when he helped you so much.

“You sure darling? Or it’s because you want to stay in touch, and this is an excuse to contact him?” You shivered at the idea of seeing each other again, that was certain. Sometimes Cece was better at reading your feelings than you. And maybe this was one of those times.

“May...maybe.” You admitted quietly. “He said I could contact his law firm if needed, “You said optimistically, raising your gaze first time since this conversation had started. Cece rolled her eyes.

“I know you’re capable of suing someone just to have an excuse to see him.” You opened your mouth to protest but she continued her banter. “But this is not a legal drama, and you are already grown up enough to go head-on, so if you want to see him, suck it up and go.”

Her direct words made your heartbeat spike like crazy, and the chopsticks you’d been playing with slipped from your hands, landing on the carpet along with some noodles. You sighed, picking them from the floor. They looked like little worms in the grass. Just how you felt. Accepting you weren’t going to eat more; you went to the little kitchenette to leave the bowl and throw the “worms”. Cece followed you, munching her chips like a desperate woman when something caught her attention, making a high-pitched noise. She struggled to swallow before she could talk.

“You should bake him something!” She said pointing to the bell jar over the counter where you kept your last baking experiment: a deliciously looking plum cake. Then without asking for permission, she removed the glass bell to cut two thick slices and served them in your beautiful dessert dishes. “He’ll fall in love immediately.” Her affirmation was done while she took a good bite of the plum cake. To be honest, this was a recipe you were proud of. There weren’t a lot of things you liked about yourself. Your awkwardness made your life very difficult, social interactions were like a puzzle to you and you knew that sometimes you made people uncomfortable around you. Especially when selective mutism hit or when you spoke in an inadequate moment or tone. It was like every second spent around people you had to be hyper-aware about everything you did. And it was exhausting.

Cece helped a lot with it. She didn’t care about your quirks and was always honest, an attribute you thanked her immensely for. You were used to everyone being dishonest or having second intentions you couldn’t figure out. She was a relief from society. Her help was handy in moments like this when you needed help with some conventions that weren’t familiar to you.

So, the decision to bake a home-cooked treat was made and you started looking through your huge collection of recipe books with Cece’s patient help, who listened to all the baking facts you loved to chat about when you were in the mood. After discarding some sweets because of being too complicated— Cece commented you’d look like a try-hard—, both of you finally chose the Lemon Ginger Tart, since the fruit was an inoffensive flavour and Christmas was just around the corner. And maybe you could make extra dough and bring some Gingerbread cookies too. It was late when your dear friend’s cab arrived and you slipped inside your bed, incapable of sleeping because of your excitement.

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After the morning rehearsal, you planned to go straight to Nelson and Murdock and deliver your precious cargo. The theatre was close and doing it as soon as possible will save you a lot of overthinking. Your colleagues were surprised by the fragrant package you were bringing, and some questions were inevitably asked about the topic. After all, you were one of the most reserved members of the orchestra and even though you were friendly with everyone, nobody knew really about your life outside the concert hall.

” So you remembered my birthday, how nice of you.” Your gaze met the smug face of the cocky first violin, who was resting lazily against the dressing room’s door. Even you had noticed that the man had your eyes on you for a long time since he was nothing but subtle. You panicked when all eyes were suddenly on you and your mysterious cake. It was Monday morning, and everyone was up to some gossiping. Especially if that was around the most secretive member of the orchestra.

“I…I mean…happy…eh…birthday…” you didn’t know how to tell him the cake wasn’t because of him, and you were unable to meet his eyes.

“Harvey, stop messing with her.” The harpist interrupted your nonsense, aware that he was making you uncomfortable. “It’s not actually his birthday honey, ignore him.” And she squeezed gently your shoulder and smiled friendly way that warmed your heart. Harvey rolled his eyes and then resumed preparing his violin for the rehearsal.

Second time in a few days that someone else has had to step up for you, perfect.

As your brain was ready to engage in some bad self-talk, you had to make your cello ready for playing too, so after securing the tart in the shelf, you let your instrument out of its hard case and every other thing became unimportant. With your instrument in your hands, you were in your domain, one where words were futile and only the language of music spoke. Once you were comfortable with. One that didn’t let you down.

The rehearsal went well, and everyone left in a good mood. The premiere of the first Nutcracker of the season was going to be a success, and you were expectant Friday to arrive. Even though you have been doing this every winter, it was such a special moment of the year. This ballet was so close to your heart and transported you directly to your childhood.

“Hey, some of us are going to have hot cocoa since we finished earlier today, are you in?”

The harpist’s voice interrupted your thoughts while you were finishing gathering up your stuff. You looked anxiously to the tart waiting on the shelve. You’d managed to find a beautiful Christmas box to protect it that had holly and gingerbread houses printed on it. Your gaze returned to her, trying to focus on an answer. Your therapist had said you had to step out of your comfort zone but going out with your colleagues and your little expedition to Nelson and Murdock maybe was too much for starting.

“Oh, I understand you had plans.” She had an all-knowing smile on her face now, and her voice was sweet. “Next time then!” She was about to leave when you gathered the courage to speak.

“Hey, thank you for… for before and… for inviting me too.” You couldn’t meet her gaze when she turned but used the trick of looking between her brows and it worked.

“It’s nothing! But we’d love it if you could join us sometime.” She smiled again and you nodded in a silent promise and then you parted ways.

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Nelson and Murdock were just some blocks away and you were lost in thought while listening to your favourite opera podcast, tart in hand and the cello in your back. Becky— that was the name of the harpist if you weren’t wrong, even though you didn’t rely on a lot in your face recognition abilities— looked genuinely interested in you joined them that morning and although that made you happy, it raised some buried memories about your time in high school when the people you considered your friends were actually making fun of you. Your weirdness caught the attention of the bullies like a lighthouse, so your strategy since then was to limit the number of interactions.

But this is not high school, we’re adults now and someone is genuinely being nice for once.

You were so lost in thought that you didn’t notice the other person turning the corner at the same time as you and after you could do anything, your face was plastered against some stranger’s chest, making your headphones fly in the process.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry…” Your nose stung and you were so preoccupied that the tart wasn’t damaged by the hit you didn’t notice whose chest was. And you couldn’t locate your headphones either. There were a lot of people and that added to your embarrassment was making you dizzy.

“You’re gonna need a good lawyer to defend you because I’m suing you for this attack lady.” The familiar low voice was like honey over your nervousness, and you finally looked at his face. “It’s your lucky day though, I know a damn good one not far from here…” Matt Murdock was standing in front of you in all his glory, an irresistible smile curving his lips, both hands in his cane.

“Matt!” You were sure you were looking dumb grabbing the tart as if your life depended on it, caught completely off guard by the encounter.

He was supposed to be in his office, what do I do now?

Let’s say you weren’t the best when dealing with unexpected events.

“Yes, I think that’s his name and…” Matt tilted his head to his right pausing for a moment, and then squatted picking something from the floor. “ Madame Butterfly, an interesting opera choice.” He had your missing headphones in his hand when he stood straight again. You grabbed them from his large hand, brushing involuntarily your skin with his like when he extended you his business card the other night and managed to turn off the device.

“I know is not the public’s favourite from Puccini, but I feel it’s so moving especially when Butterfly sacrifices herself so her child can have a better life…” Probably it was the longest phrase you said to Matt, but you got carried away when you talked about music.

“It’s a beautiful opera, but maybe she should have considered her son’s opinion on the matter.” You noticed his expression turning darker for a moment and you wondered if you said something wrong, but it was gone in a blink and his gentle manner was back. “Excuse me for deviating from the theme, but something smelling delicious caught my attention.”

He then sniffed like a bloodhound, and you giggled, relaxing a bit.

“Yeah, about this, it’s actually…” You didn’t know how to start since your carefully planned speech was now useless.

“It’s ginger and lemon, isn’t it?” And he smiled wider. “Really Christmas flavoured.”

“You want a slice? In exchange for…running over you.” You didn’t know where you found the courage to say that, but maybe it was easier this way.

“Are you trying to bribe me, so I don’t present charges? Because it’s working.” And then he smiled charmingly.

Holy shit you’ll bake whatever this man wanted just to see that smile.

Maybe it was his soothing voice, the fact that you didn’t have to worry about looking him in the eyes, or the way he made you feel seen , as contradictory as it was, but the fact was that you were somewhere near comfortable around Matt Murdock. So when he noticed you were freezing and offered that you went upstairs to have a drink that warmed you up, you accepted gladly.

“Is that cake?” A blonde head appeared from one of the doors of the office the moment you both stepped inside.

“I thought we weren’t accepting more payments done with food Matt…” Another blonde appeared, this time a beautiful woman. She was frowning until she noticed you.

“Relax guys, she’s not a client and the cake is not yours to take Foggy, it’s hers.” The other man looked devastated by the notice, and the woman’s face became welcoming, a question floating in the air. “These are Foggy, then another half of Nelson and Murdock and Karen, our secretary.” Matt presented you to them and you shook shyly your hand while he folded his cane and went to prepare some warm beverages.

“Actually…” You put the box containing the tart on the table that looked like was used to eat. “It’s Matt’s tart, so you can eat if he’s okay with that.” You blushed visibly while Foggy’s eyes illuminated and Karen raised her eyebrows impossibly, looking at Matt and then at you. The lawyer returned from the little kitchenette with two smoking hot mugs. He looked interrogating too. “For the other day… the bar…”

“You didn’t have to.” A wide smile formed on his lips while he handed you the latte he had prepared for you. Foggy and Karen exchanged significant looks while you wrapped your hands around it, warming you up instantly. You fixed your gaze on it, not knowing what to say.

“Don’t treat me like this, so this means I can have cake or not?” Foggy’s pained complaint made all of you laugh and broke the tension that had been building up in your stomach.

The four of you ended up enjoying the tart together along with the biscuits you baked. You were afraid of being an intruder, but Karen and Foggy were as warm and welcoming as Matt. You ended up having a great time and when it was your time to part, they made you promise to visit again. Matt grabbed your cello chivalrously and walked you to the door.

“You know, it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a concert.” He commented while he helped you to put your instrument on your back.

“Well, New York is a city with an extensive cultural offering and…” He laughed heartfully and you didn’t understand why.

“What I mean is that I’d love to hear you play.” And his voice was like velvet when he said that.

Oh.

“Yeah… of course… I…” Your brain stopped functioning for a moment, but it rebooted, and you started to search in your bag. “This Friday is the first nutcracker of the season, maybe you can’t enjoy the dancing, but the music is beautiful…” You said nervously while you gave him the spare tickets the orchestra always gifted their musicians — and which you never used because of your lack of social life.

“I’m sure I’ll find my way of enjoying myself.” And the way he said it melted your bones while he grabbed the three tickets. “See you on Friday then.” He added and after smiling brighter than the sun, he returned upstairs. You started walking towards the bus stop, still processing everything.

It looks like this Friday is going to be the best performance of my life.

#matt murdock x autistic!reader #matt murdock #matt murdock fanfiction #daredevil #daredevil fanart #marvel #daredevil fanfiction #charlie cox #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x y/n #Matt Murdock x gn!reader #matt murdock x fem!reader

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wariocompany · 1 year

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AITA for calling my (35M) husband (35M) everything that's wrong with the nation today?

I know it sounds mean but I was making a point. Let me explain.

So we were in a different city, way on the other side of the country I think, looking for something a friend of ours lost. That might sound a bit much but we're a couple that likes to go travelling a lot, so it was more a pretext to see the sights. We were looking for a specific person who worked in a dietary resort or something strange like that, but had to be discreet, so we pretended we were sick and needed to be put on a strict diet in their facilities. My husband abhorred this, where we come from eating good food is an imperative, and the diet really was miserable. But it was our only way to find the person we needed, and I did it too.

Anyway, several long days later we got sick of it and my husband had a breakdown. I felt bad for him and decided to ask more forwardly where to find the person we were looking for. They told us he had quit long ago and now worked at an inn called (name slightly changed for privacy) The Wine Marinated Hog.

My husband was furious, because we'd spent all that time suffering when the search had been a dead end anyway. The thing is, he blamed me and got all haughty. He went on about how I always have to be right and never want to do anything any way but mine and I was Mr This and Mr That.

This is when I got pissed, because obviously I couldn't have known the guy we were looking for quit. And frankly, I reckon he could have used the regime as is, and I told him so.

Anyway, I got mad, and said... Look, it sounds better in our own language, but I basically said "bread and circuses is all that matters to you! I don't know what modern [our country] has come to!".

Well, now we're not speaking to each other, and won't stop calling me a little twirp (sort of, a pun in our language) and nonsense like that. I know comparing his rudeness to the decline of our nation (for context, we've been through some hard times as a people lately, and my husband is a fierce resistance fighter) was pretty harsh, but again, he was being obstinate and rude over a few day long diet.

So, AITA?

Edit: we made up a few minutes after I posted this. Thanks everyone!

Comments

🌝 PaxRomanaVIXIX

INFO: Do you have a warrant to stalk a guy you clearly don't know just because you're looking for something?

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montywithchildhoodtrauma · 7 months

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Incorrect quotes because... Good Eclipse and everyone else needs therapy.

Lunar: Here you go, Moon, a nice hot cup of coffee! Moon: It's cold. Lunar: A nice cup of coffee. Moon: It's horrible! Lunar: Cup of coffee. Moon: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee. Lunar: C U P.

Bloodmoon: Why are you smiling? Rays: What? I can’t just be happy? Moon: Eclipse tripped and fell in the parking lot. Bloodmoon: *snorts*

Jigsaw: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea. Lunar: Well then whose is it? Jigsaw, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

Jigsaw: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches. Bloodmoon: ...

Eclipse: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

Rays: You know, I used to play back in my gory days. Sun: You mean glory days? Rays: Ah, that too.

Earth: You have an impressive pain tolerance. Rays: Thanks, it's the trauma.

Moon: Lunar, Rays, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Lunar, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Rays is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Rays: I love you too :)

Moon: You disgust me. Jigsaw: eating a kitkat sideways I realize this and don’t care.

Eclipse: Okay, help me, please! Bloodmoon: Got two words for you. Eclipse: I bet they won't be helpful. Bloodmoon: Your problem. Eclipse: I was right.

Monty: Why are Moon and Earth sitting with their backs to each other? Lunar: They had a fight. Monty: Then why are they holding hands? Lunar: They get sad when they fight.

Moon: WHO THE FUCK- KC: Whoa, language! Moon: I speak fucking English! KC: …

Lunar: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Rays. Lunar: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for. Lunar: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it. Rays: Hmm… I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either. Lunar: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though. Rays: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it. Lunar: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

Jigsaw: finds half a watermelon at Whole Foods Jigsaw, holding it up for everyone to see: LIES!

Old Moon: We are gathered here today because someone- glares at Monty’s coffin -couldn’t stay alive! Monty: muffled FUCK YOU, LET ME OUT!

Sun: So, Moon and KC. Sun: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto… Old Moon: We had a bad day. Sun: And… MURDER?! KC: It was a pretty bad day…

Earth: You believe me? Monty: Earth, you’re the last good person on this planet (and Lunar). I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

Lunar: I will send my army to attack! Lunar: releases a dumpster of raccoons

Rays, singing (lost a bet): I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need— Moon: A better family. Monty: A better therapist. KC: Mental stability. Lunar: clueless Bagels?

Rays: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Gator Golf!

Earth: Look, Lunar, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

KC: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Rays: Several traffic violations. Sun: Three counts of resisting arrest. Earth: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Moon: Also, that’s not our car.

Sun: Eclipse, I sense hostility. Eclipse: Good, because I hate you.

Eclipse: Be careful, I thrive on negative attention.

Moon and Sun are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff Moon: oh my god, Sun, backwards! Sun: Really, Moon? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.

Lunar: Why would you do that? Monty: Because I feel guilty. Moon: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.

Monty: Why do you act like we’re three year olds? Moon, exasperated: WHY?!? Moon points at Rays: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR! Moon points at Lunar: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK! Moon points at Monty: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND! Moon: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

Monty, trying to comfort Rays: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there. Rays: I- what?

Rays: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it. -to his Moon, probably.

Sun: We got a free day now. What do you wanna do? Eat? Sleep? Nap? Snack?

Rays: That sounds like a terrible plan. Moon: Oh, we've had worse.

#sun and moon show #sun and moon show lunar #sun and moon show earth #sun and moon show eclipse #sun and moon show sun #sun and moon show moon #the sun and moon show

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kafus · 15 days

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today’s been really miserable. i’ve mostly been talking about it in a lighthearted way thus far but i’m actually really down about my art right now, it’s just not where i want it to be and i’m feeling really frustrated with it. it’s not that i think my art is bad necessarily but it does not look how i want it to, and i’ve been struggling with a lot of feeling lost on how to move forward with it. it’s really been eating me up inside and everything i’ve been posting lately i’ve really hated, but i post it anyway to try to ignore the little nagging voice in my head telling me my art is worthless and etc

so i went through hours of despairing about that earlier and then this evening my mental health really started deteriorating and i had a massive trauma flashback/recalled some stuff i didn’t previously know about and the whole experience has left me completely emotionally and physically winded. and now instead of simply taking care of myself and recovering from said intense flashback, i can’t seem to make the little nagging voice telling me i’m not working hard enough/being productive enough go away. like i basically just had a massive breakdown now isn’t the time to feel guilty about not drawing but UGH

i’m really fucking struggling i hope i can feel better about art sometime soonish and get out of this pit i find myself in, but first and foremost for tonight i hope i can stop thinking in circles about it and just rest because wow i’m struggling w that too

#kiki was here #kiki.txt #delete later #god my art really does feel worthless to me rn #this shit sucks

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rustbeltjessie · 4 months

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It has been a hell of a few weeks. (Putting the rest under a cut because there's a lot of hard stuff.)

First I had a CoViD scare (was exposed, tested a bunch, never got it, thankfully); then I got some writing rejections/found out I didn't win some writing contests that were a big deal to me, and that made me super sad. (Sometimes rejections and losses just roll right off me, sometimes they hit me hard. This time they hit me hard.) Then I was busting my ass at my money-making side-hustle to make sure I could afford birthday presents for my youngest kiddo and Xmas presents for both kiddos + my partner, and I managed it, but I burned myself out. And then I basically had a nervous breakdown—it started on December 20, I had a really bad panic attack, the worst I've had in about 20 years, it lasted for over twelve hours. I felt a little better on the 21st and managed to hold it together for my kiddo's birthday celebration, but then the 22nd it started up again. I got the shakes really bad, like I could not stop shaking, and was also dizzy, and even though I was like 90% sure it was 'just' anxiety, I started worrying it was something neurological. Which of course made the anxiety symptoms even worse. So I went to urgent care. The doctor ran me through all the tests they do to check for neurological problems, and I passed them all. They diagnosed it as an anxiety attack and got me to a referral to the hospital system's behavioral health center. I haven't had an appointment with them yet, but hopefully I will soon. I was diagnosed with both Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder (or w/e it's called now) like 20 years ago, and did talk therapy + had a prescription for Xanax, but I haven't had any kind of anxiety meds or any kind of talk therapy in like...over 15 years. So it's probably a blessing in disguise that all this happened, because now I'll finally be treating my anxiety again instead of just trying to ignore it. Because that uh...doesn't work. In the meantime, I've been keeping my caffeine intake really low, because while caffeine isn't the cause of my anxiety, it certainly doesn't help.

Then on Christmas Eve, I had a flare-up of my chronic sinus issues, and I took another CoViD test, because a lot of my sinus symptoms mimic various CoViD symptoms. But I was CoViD-free, and despite feeling half-sick for it, I managed to have a nice Christmas Eve/Christmas despite it. Those symptoms cleared up on the 27th, and I was like: "Oh, good, maybe I can have a relaxing few days leading up to my birthday." And then I got into a big thing with my mom, it's a long story and I don't feel like rehashing it right now, but we were both hurt and angry. Fortunately, we worked through it the same day. Since then, things have been pretty good, but...now I'm having the anxiety shakes again. I drank more coffee today than I have been lately, and that's probably why. (Note to self: don't do that.) At least this time I know it's just anxiety, so I'm not spiraling thinking it's something else. I'm drinking a bunch of water, then I'm going to make myself a hot toddy and hopefully finally finish this fucking installment of my newsletter that I've been working on for a month now. It's been kind of hard to focus on writing with everything else that's been going on. And my birthday's in two days, and I'm tired. The end.

#rust belt jessie #personal #anxiety #covid19 #family #bad things #small good things

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invincible-selfxmade-punk · 6 months

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I have stopped screaming and crying and now I am just numb. I guess that is a bit of a breakthrough because normally I don't scream and cry at all until much later.

I think it's the autism I have always had a severely delayed reaction to things but this time it was so bad it just took me over.

I opened up Facebook to find that yet another friend of mine took his own life.

I am almost to the point that either I am losing count of the friends and relatives who have died by Suicide or I am just breaking down and blocking them all out.

That was my friend Ben. By the time I met him he was already in a relationship and so was I but we hung out a lot. We would send each other songs that we liked and I was really attracted to him. That is not a very good picture he was so much more handsome on his better days.

It's like meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife

The girl on my other side is his girlfriend Laura and they were together for years. Then I'm not sure what happened but suddenly they were not posting together on Facebook anymore and Ben was posting more and more rather scary sounding statuses.

He had told me that he had tried to kill himself several times. And I guess we bonded over that.

That was when we worked together. We were all friends his girlfriend, myself, and the music and art teacher who were married. One time they even made a band together and played gigs around town. It was because of them I found out about this awesome band called Murder Monroe. Those were truly the best times. Before covid happened and before the venue which was a coffee shop and music venue didn't survive the covid shutdown and went out of business.

Later on after he & Laura moved away he would put cryptic status on Facebook and I would message him and ask him if he wanted to talk and send him my favorite songs to try to comfort him.

He would always send me the same song back when he was in that mood. And it was kind of a song about how maybe if we had met in a different time things would be different.

youtube

Other times he would send me awesome videos of him playing guitar.

youtube

I drew this picture 5 years ago when I got a call telling me that one of my former students ---whom I was very close to --killed herself at the age of 13.

I still think it sums up exactly how I feel every time this happens.

I am so heartsick and just at a loss. We had not communicated since Christmas and he had only posted on Facebook of very few times with anything personal. The few times he did post it would be him saying how depressed he was and how he had no friends. And I would always message him and let him know he wasn't alone and ask if I could help and after a while he just didn't respond.

I'm glad he is no longer in pain but oh my God I just wish he could have hung in there.

I can't imagine what his ex-girlfriend is going through having been with him for nearly 10 years. She said in

her post that a few weeks ago he blocked her and then of course we find this out today.

youtube

Ben Benavides was a special ed teacher, a 4th/5th grade teacher. He was an introvert who was clinically depressed. He was a guitarist, he was a music fan, he was a great listener, he gave the best hugs, he felt things far more deeply than anyone else did.

He gave his all to his students to the point that he would nearly have nervous breakdowns over the stress of not being able to help them enough. He was a goth, he was a metalhead.

I didn't know him as long as most and yet he touched my life profoundly.

My dear Ben,

I am better for having known you and I am so pissed off that you left me and left this world.

Goodbye Ruby Tuesday who could hang a name on you when you change with every new day still I'm going to miss you.

#988lifeline #need help call 988 #tribute #another life gone #grief #loss #teaching #Youtube #Spotify

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dotterelly · 2 months

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Hey, so I just wanted to say how nice it's been to vibe with you all today. Seriously, thank you. It's been a long time since I last really interacted with any kind of fandom community, and I wasn't sure about joining one again. I've not been in the best place mentally recently, but I've had such a good time and I'm so grateful to everyone for facilitating that.

I have more to say but I'm throwing it under a cut because it'll be long and not relevant to most people here.

For a long time I've not chosen to join communities for things I liked, either because I already had friends to chat with about it, or because I just kind of felt like people would hate me (I have an internal voice that's always telling me people hate me it sucks ass). Like I seriously think the last time I interacted with a fan community in any meaningful way was the yogscast back in 2012 (yes, I am old.).

In the time between, I've had some big life upheavals and some subsequent mental health breakdowns. I've never got really bad with it, but this last year a lot of the big changes in my life have caught up with me. Turns out immigrating to America the day they closed the borders for covid to enter lockdown in an unfamiliar country with barely any local friends isn't good for your mental state. (Still worth it, I got the best husband ever out of the deal. I'd do it again every time.)

I found the qsmp at my lowest point of last year, when a situation with a colleague and a sudden change in position and responsibility at work caused a 2 week long anxiety attack in a way I've never experienced before, with a side of insomnia. I fell back on old coping habits and found something to escape into, and starting with technoblade I consumed a vast amount of media in a short amount of time, catching up with half a decade of minecraft stuff I'd missed out on. Finally deciding I wanted to follow Philza going forward, I then spent 2 months catching up on all his qsmp vods. I've not been this into something for a long time, and my desire to find people I could screech with when stuff went down brought me round to dusting off my mildly neglected Tumblr account. And I'm so glad I did. I didn't know how much I missed this sort of community.

Thanks to everyone who's interacted with me directly or with my posts in the last couple of weeks. As a heads up, I am not good at consistent tagging and I will just reblog and post any random crap I like in a sort of crazed stream of consciousness, so follow at your own risk! Also I truly intend to just vibe and not engage in any fandom drama. If I reblog anything controversial it is most likely because I'm new and didn't know, or because my neurodivergent ass did not pick up the context or subtext of the thing I reblogged. I do have opinions about things, but I simply do not have the emotional or mental health capacity to properly research situations or deal with discourse like that rn. I just want to vibe and see cool art and fics and theorise a bit and maybe make some friends if I find people I click with.

So that's a bit of an introduction to who I am and what I am about. Thank you all again so much for helping me start to rebuild myself again after a shitty end to the last year. I hope to continue this adventure with everyone going forwards! <3

#qsmp #a personal note

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mooodyblue · 10 months

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I dont normally send ask, and you can totally ignore this!

I've had such a bad day and I was wondering if you could write something where Elvis's little has had a really bad day and is just super overwhelmed. I feel like elvis would be so sweet and comforting

im sorry you had a bad day!!! i hope this cheers you up a little <3 he would absolutely be sweet and comforting !

wc: 734

first it was spilling coffee on the new rug, vernon coming over to pester you about elvis and his recent spendings, then being nearly mobbed by a group of people at the grocery store and trying to not have a breakdown on the ride home. all you needed was bread! it wasn't until you saw elvis’s car in the driveway as you pulled in, knowing he’d be angry about you leaving by yourself.

you stepped into the house with the bag in your hand, tear stained cheeks as elvis stood there, glaring at you. you sighed, “elvis–”

“thought i said to not leave unless you got someone with you.” he strictly stated, crossing his arms.

“i just needed–”

“and i don't wanna hear it, don't be goin’ out unless you let me know. somethin’ coulda happened to ya!” his voice raised slightly.

you didn't say a word, only looking up at him as you began to cry. elvis’s facial expression softened. “oh, honey…” he sighed and pulled you close, tossing the bag of bread aside, and wrapping his arms around you. “what happened? talk to me.”

you sobbed into his shoulder, “t-they were chasin me, daddy.” he pulled away at the sudden name, more concerned. “a-and i spilled m’ drink all over the rug you bought and then-”

“woah, woah–okay. deep breaths, c'mon.” elvis took your hands, taking a deep breath. you copied him and exhaled, repeating this until your sobs slowed down. “that's right, honey. there you go.” he rubbed your shoulders reassuringly. “none of that matters, it's alright. you’re here now, you're safe.

“‘m sorry, really.” you sniffled. “didn’ mean to make daddy mad o-or be lil’.”

he gasped, “baby–no. don’t go apologizin’ now.”

“am i in trouble?...”

“no, honey. you ain’t in trouble for havin’ a bad day.” he sighed and looked around the house, thinking of a way to cheer you up. then a grin appeared on his face. “how ‘bout this, you go outside for about….oh…i don't know–five minutes? go walk around the garden for a bit. i’ll have somethin’ for ya shortly.”

elvis was good at a lot of things, obviously. he took pride in his singing and way of performing, however, he took more pride in making you happy. when you were little, you had things that made you happy. whether it'd be plushies, snacks or your favorite toys; they'd always bring you the comfort you needed. but on days like today, he knew you needed more than to just be lazing on the couch with a plushie.

he hurriedly went up to his bedroom, tearing all the sheets from his bed and dragging them down to the den. couches were moved around, he laid out sheets as high and far out as he could, creating the perfect fort. he filled the inside with another sheet and various pillows, wanting to create a cozy environment as relaxing as possible. he took one more trip upstairs to grab your plushies, a few coloring books and toys to fill your fort with. snacks too, along with a filled sippy cup. elvis had to take a step back to view his creation, incredibly proud of making your dream fort in a short amount of time.

“daddy?”

“in here!” he yelled back, smiling as you walked in. “well?”

you gasped, looking at the beautifully made fort in front of you. elvis got it perfect, he even brought your favorite plushie to join you! you didn't know if you wanted to cry, scream or jump into elvis’s arms but god, you were so happy. instead, you ran up to him and hugged him tightly. “oh daddy, i love it!”

he let out a sigh of relief, “thank god.” he laughed. “you've got snacks ‘n toys all down in there. but don’t go eatin’ 'em all at once. you know what happens when you eat too many snacks, right baby?”

“they make my tummy hurt.” you said, proudly.

“that's right.” he kissed the top of your head. “now go play.”

you giggled with excitement as you crawled in, hugging one of your plushies tightly before looking up at elvis with sad eyes.

“what did i forget?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“a-are you not gonna join?” you pouted.

he felt his heart melt, not being able to say no to that look on your face. “y’know what, yittle. i think i will.”

#elvis x reader

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oh-cramity-its-amity · 2 months

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sorry if you see this and im not replying to dms super fast. today has really been draining and not for great reasons. kinda feel nonverbal and quiet right now.

not as bad as itd been years in the past for vdays. i think this one has been surprisingly well, but my manager made it a big 180 despite being on an edge all day mentally. i said i wasnt gonna have a mental breakdown, and i very much didnt compared to the past three years. but i did however get stopped by this coworker when i was leaving early in the parking lot after the manager interaction of putting me in a shit mood. then unintentionally started crying when trying to explain why i was upset to her.

thanks to her for hugging me. she didnt need to, but realizing how touch starved i am despite hating touch... genuinely, i dont think she understands how much i needed that cause i havent had a hug in like almost... i dont know.

and its different now because im not used to having irl "friends" or people who i talk to like that not online, but i think after that interaction it made things easier. i still went home and cried but i think its honestly an annual tradition at this point haha- the only difference is that im not asking the same situationship girl to be my valentine for the fourth year in a row like a literal clown. i think after all this time its finally reaching the point where life is getting better and im healing. the pain is still there sometimes like this but... people care... people actually care about me.... and... that alone makes me want to cry because how??? how did i get so lucky to finally get to that point. how did i get to this point to meet those people i needed years ago. im glad that theyre in my life now, but it still scares me a bit getting close to people and being vulnerable because im afraid of losing them too. i have so many new people compared to last year. i was so low then, too. i remember it. i had this whole thing set up and then ended up crying at work because IM DUMB AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT MY ENERGY INTO THAT.

but these new people- they care. and things are better. so much so compared to then. 😭

i want to write something. idk. im just super introverted, and im glad she's a chill person. we really have an eda luz dynamic im ngl 😭. i... i really appreciated that.

anyway i just... wanted to put this somewhere. its not as a negative thing. im way happier now, but dealin w that has just stunted my vibes temporarily. hope things are doing good if u see this. idk.

#will delete later #billys talking ig #slight vent??

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pumpkzsafeplace · 5 months

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anon answers (anti bullying diaries) : the different types of bullying.

as we know, i was going to the anti-bullying week before i had my really bad meltdown :<,

but i think it's too important to forget so i'm going to do a little anti-bullying series <3.

credit; link 🩵

❀•°❀°•❀

when people think of bullying, they think of the sterotypical name calling & whispers. however, nowerdays, bullying is too common in today's society. it's too normalise to pick on someone for being different, or being too enthusiastic on a specific subject.

heres a little breakdown of all the different types of bullying people can go through to help bring awareness! <;3.

(if you are currently getting bullied or have been bullied in the past, just know that you're not alone okay? i went through it for a long time- you will beat them in the end & you will have that peaceful life you're dreaming off! we're with you & support you 100%)

❀•°❀°•❀

Physcial Bullying 🌨️

includes: hitting, spitting, beating up, stealing, shoving and damaging property.

physcial bullying is when one indiviudal physcially assaults/ or causes harm to another with the intent of hurting/upsetting them. like above, you can see that there are many different forms of physcial bullying- howvever all of their outcomes add up to the same thing.

❀•°❀°•❀ Verbal Bullying ❄️

includes: name-calling, mocking, hurtful teasing, insults, slurs, humiliating or threatening someone, racist comments, or sexual harassment.

bascially anything that is verablly said (whispered or not) with the intention of hurting somebody else.

❀•°❀°•❀ Social Bullying 🌨️

includes: rolling your eyes or turning away from someone, excluding others from the group, getting others to ignore or exclude, gossiping or spreading rumours & setting others up to look foolish.

this is one of the most common types of bullying to happen in school, and it's usually used as a humilation tactic to single out an individual or make them feel utterly worthless.

❀•°❀°•❀ Cyberbullying ❄️

includes: the use of email, cell phones, text messages, and internet sites to threaten, harass, embarrass, socially exclude, or damage reputations and friendships.

with the recent popularity of social media, cyberbullying is on the rise quickly & get more deadlier by the day. nowerdays, it's not as simple enough to ignore and block individuals- new profiles can be made, even some websites can be created in certain situations.

more needs to be done surrounding cyberbullying as it's often badly overlooked and not taken as seriously as the others.

❀•°❀°•❀ Racial Bullying 🌨️

includes: treating people badly because of their racial or ethnic background, saying bad things about a cultural background, calling someone racist names or telling racist jokes.

this is another one that gets overlooked a lot- or seen a lot as 'not being able to handle jokes well'. you're not overthinking it, they are being hurtful and you're valid in your emotions.

❀•°❀°•❀ Religious Bullying ❄️

includes: treating people badly because of their religious background or beliefs, making negative comments about a religious background or belief.

this is another one that gets overlooked a lot- or seen a lot as 'not being able to handle jokes well'. you're not overthinking it, they are being hurtful and you're valid in your emotions.

❀•°❀°•❀ Sexual Bullying 🌨️

includes: leaving someone out; treating them badly, or making them feel uncomfortable because of their sex; making sexist comments or jokes; touching, pinching or grabbing someone in a sexual way

whether you are male, female, non-binary, or unidentified- being touched without your permission is still wrong and will always be wrong. you will always be valid in speaking up, and you will always be taken seriously.

you did nothing wrong <3.

❀•°❀°•❀ Disability Bullying. ❄️

Includes leaving someone out or treating them badly because of a disability, making someone feel uncomfortable, or making jokes to hurt someone because of a disability.

this is another one that gets overlooked a lot- or seen a lot as 'not being able to handle jokes well'. you're not overthinking it, they are being hurtful and you're valid in your emotion

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theancientdarkbeauty · 7 months

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Payday 3 theory for New Character Designs

This is hella long, so the rest of it is under the cut, but if you want to see why that "Collar" is on Wolf and Dallas, from a lore and character design perspective, please click the "Read More"

Alright, you clicked, so you wanna know, what do I think the metal collars on Wolf and Dallas's necks are. For Wolf, you might think he was committing to the Dog Bit TM, but then you see an identical one on Dallas's neck, and he has no associations with canines of any sort in all of his years of being The Face of the Payday Gang (except for, of course, liking dogs on a casual level, he was on a team with John Wick after all, which could be counterargumented (Not a real word I know) by "but Jacket was on that team as well, and in his games, he is known for killing a good score of Doberman Pinschers" which is a bit of a theory for a different time) So the next thing you can assume, as you dirty minded Tumblr users, and as I've seen some other people say, is that they're just kinky bitches, to which I say BEGONE THOT! But in all seriousness I don't think Starbreeze would intentionally add something so noticeable to two of their most beloved characters and their only reason being "The tumblr and 34 community can logically go ApeShit now) Oh no no no my friends, if I can entertain your eyes for perhaps a paragraph longer, I'll tell you why that kinky shit in that google doc for Payday 3 with WolfHox using that collar thing would quickly devolve into more of a bloody angst story, logically.

You see, in short, these collars are helping them breath. Weird, right? But let me explain! Because, when you think about it anatomically, it will actually make a lot of sense. Lets take a look at our heisters in question real quick:

Wolf and Dallas respectively. Now, do you notice anything? (Besides, Dallas being bugged, this game works as intended) The collar is on the same place on both of their necks, right in their jugulars (yes you have 2, one for each side) Right on the Interior Jugulars/ Internal carotid arteries, though, considering the circumstances, probably the carotid arteries. This is common place knowledge, but for those who don't know, Wolf is very close to Hoxton, shown in game through various nicknames they give each other, and Dallas is the oldest of the OG four, being 44 at the time of Payday 2 (since I don't know the exact gap in time from 2 to 3, but if it is 10 years, like rumored, that means he is 54 as of "today") For reference, the other oldest character, Chains, was 37 at the time of Payday 2, Wolf 34, and Hoxton being a fucking child at 32. So, Dallas is an old man, and he's been smoking since... well the first game (that is 100% confirmed.) so his lungs are fucking WRECKED. But, why is this related? If Dallas's lungs are heavily damaged, running, vaulting, sneaking around, and doing normal heistery stuff, his lungs wouldn't be able to keep up with the oxygen needed to run his brain/other body functions. So, Dallas's lungs are wrecked, yeah, duh, but why would Wolf, the second youngest little man, need this "collar"? Also simple, he's a heartsick bastard.

Wolf lost his best friend, Hoxton, for 2 whole years, do you really think that this man, who basically lost everything, his company, his wife, his kids, his sanity, and now his best friend, wouldn't take to some pretty destructive habits? 2 years of chain-smoking and drinking and doing whatever he could to get his mind off it (be it committing violences or building machines) wouldn't take a toll on him? His lungs would be 100% destroyed, even after only 2 years, because, if I had to take a guess, he started those bad habits when he initially lost his job and went on a rampage. That man has probably been smoking for at least 2 years casually (with periods of mental breakdown chain-smoking) and then 2 more years of hard chain-smoking, non stop, destroying his body. Though, statistically, it takes 15-20 years to fuck up your lungs as bad as maybe Dallas's would be, so whatever Wolf was doing to get himself on that collar device thing must have been pretty hard core.

BUT I'M GETTING OFF TRACK!!! You clicked read more because you wanted to know what I thought the collars did! My thoughts? They artificially pump oxygen into our beloved heisters blood streams, to give them the stamina and brain function they used to have, but still probably being cheaper than a lung transplant. (A quick google search will show you that, for both your lungs transplanted, it would be $1,295,900 in America. Crazy shit, especially for 2 people. Also, if the lungs and heart were damaged, the collar things would be basically a necessity if the guys wanna run around as much as they do in game (don't ask me why you can sprint for like a minute in a half straight in a light ballistics vest when they are all old men, I couldn't tell you). Why doesn't Hoxton have one? Probably because he's a stubborn bastard. Why doesn't Chains have one? He's just built different. The fact that these things are adding extra oxygen to people's blood would mean that the collars are imbedded in their necks, which means if some pulls on them, major ouchies (plus theirs a lot of nerves there and it's really just a whole mess of a time)

THERE YOU GO! This took me 4 days to write, off and on, so for the love of god I hope I got everything right. My area of expertise is reptiles, not humans, but story writing and character development were my first things studied. But this is all head cannons, nothing concrete yet! Anyways, thank you for sticking with the ramblings of a mad lad, and have a wonderful day/night!

#payday 3 #payday wolf #payday chains #payday #payday hoxton #dallas payday #payday dallas #This was unreasonably long I'm sorry #BUT I'M SO PROUD OF MY THEORY CRAFTING GUYS!

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svtcherry · 2 years

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Home - Boo Seungkwan

Fluff, angst

Summary: after another bad date, y/n decides to finally confess her love for her best friend.

Your usual bf2l trope and domestic Boo<3

You unlock the door, sighing as you get inside your small- but cosy- apartment.

As soon as you got in, the smell of your favorite pasta hit your nostrils, and for a second, you forgot the reason why you were so upset you could barely drag your feet across the floor.

Tonight was no different than most date nights you've had over the past couple of months since you decided to put yourself out there again and start dating (aka try to get over your very real, very romantic feelings for your best friend). Boring, miserable and making you question your self worth, would be an accurate way to describe those dates.

"Y/n? You're home?" Seungkwan asked from the kitchen once he heard the door unlock, but he didn't get a reply from you. When he came to the living room to check on you, he immediately knew why.

You were sitting on that tiny couch Seungkwan despises and tells you to throw away because "it barely fits two people" according to him, with a huge frown on your face.

He called your name again and you turned around to look at him surprised. " Oh, what are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming"

He sat down next to you and he gave you a small hug "I had some business nearby and i thought I'd come over and cook your favorite pasta like the great best friend to that I am" You snorted, which earned you a small slap on your arm. " What's up with you tho, you don't look good?" And that's all it took for the dam to break.

"Seungkwan? What's wrong with me?" At this point you were crying a river and the poor boy was so startled because you usually never cry around him. " W-what do you mean? Nothing is wrong with you. What happened, talk to me? Hmm?"

"I went on another date today" he immediately understood your frustration but he just let you continue " with the cute guy from Management Accounting that asked for my number the other day. He seemed so interested in me before we went on the date, but today he was so.... I don't think I've ever seen a person look so bored in my entire life Seungkwan. He was on his phone THE ENTIRE TIME and he sighed a lot like he didn't wanna be there... And... It just made me feel so pathetic and sorry for my self you know? Like I don't deserve to be in a happy relationship ".

He was getting angrier every second you kept talking. He stroked your back gently to help you calm down.

"And that's not even the worst part. He flirted with the waitress the entire time and after we paid - we split the check but you know i don't really care about that - HE THEN ASKED ME TO DO THAT ASSIGNMENT I'VE BEEN BUGGING YOU ABOUT FOR WEEKS NOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM???"

At this point you were having a full breakdown. You stained Seungkwan's shirt with your make-up too, and even tho he noticed, he really didn't care.

He wished you'd see that what you think of yourself is not true, that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, that you're absolutely worth it.

He wished you could see how much he loves you.

"You know " you sniffed " I caused all of this to myself. And before you say that I'm talking shit again, I'm really not." You cut him off before he could say anything, but there was still a curious look on his face so you continued.

" I fell in love with someone" his curious face turned into a surprised one and you giggled nervously "yeah, I didn't tell you, I'm sorry. I didn't tell anyone really."

"Did they like you back? Did you tell them?"

You scoffed " would I be here crying and staining your shirt if he did? Tsk. Anyway. I think I've been in love with him ever since we met, but i only realized 6? 7 months ago? I'm not really sure."

"All this time, I've been trying to get over him and replace those feelings, thoughts, everything, with someone else. And yes I know how wrong it sounds Seungkwan but I know he doesn't like me back. And I was too much of a chicken to confess, because what if I did and then I ruined everything that we had? That was something I couldn't bear".

"I couldn't bear the thought of not waking up to his good morning texts, not receiving daily reminders to take my vitamins and to dressing warm during the winter. If I lost him, who would binge watch the romance movies we've watched a 100 times already? Who would sing Twice songs with me on that stupid karaoke place in Itaewon?Who would cook me my favorite pasta because he's a "great best friend" and rub my back gently when I need to cry?"

You could feel his eyes burning holes through your head, but now that you poured your heart out, you couldn't stop.

"I can't bear it anymore Seungkwan. I'm in love with you, hell I've been in love with you ever since I saw down next to you in English class on our freshman year. But you are the most important person in my life, and I don't know what I'm gonna do when you decide to stop talking to me because you don't feel the same."

You turned to look at him, only to find him looking back at you with a face void of any expression.

"I'm sorry Kwanie, but I fell in love with you and I don't know if I will ever stop. I mean 6 months worth of failed dates couldn't do the job, i don't know what will " you laughed but he was still looking at you without saying anything.

"Seungkwan... Please say something"

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. All this time he thought he was the only one in love and afraid to jeopardize your friendship.

As he saw you stand up, he immediately grabbed your arm and pulled you onto his lap, holding your face in his hands gently.

" Don't stop. Please don't ever stop loving me Y/n"

"I... Wh-"

"Because I've been in love with you ever since i first saw you in the uni's cafeteria eating with your friends, months before we first met. I've been in love with you for way too long now for you to stop loving me".

Both of you sat in silence for a few moments, taking each other and what you said in.

His thumb touched your lips gently, you cought his eyes on your lips as well. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him, be closer to him, closer than ever before.

There weren't any fireworks or butterflies in your stomach when you finally felt his soft lips against yours. Instead, you felt warmth, happiness and love. You felt like you were home after being lost for so long.

"I love you" he never thought it would be so easy to be able to say it to you at last.

"I love you too Kwannie" you gave him another kiss and you rested your head on his shoulder and snuggling with him.

"Y/n?" "Hmm?" " I hate to ruin the mood, but the pasta is gonna get cold." You look up to him, clearly not amused and you get up to go to the bathroom to wash up.

"Go go, I'll get everything ready" he kissed your forehead and rushed to the kitchen, which made you giggle.

Seungkwan was your home, and you couldn't be happier.

#seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #svt fluff #boo seungkwan #seventeen scenarios #seungkwan fanfic #seungkwan #seungkwan fluff #seungkwan imagine #boo seungkwan scenarios #svtcherry #screaming crying sobbing #i may or may not be smiling while thinking of this rn

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