#and just this entire situation isn't helping me like paddy any more

[bartsugsy]

I don't really get why everyone is so pissed at aaron for saying "a kid of our own"? maybe it's just me but i don't hear that as him saying seb isn't their son, he does think of both of them as his dads, to me he meant "a kid that would be just ours and no one else" because even though they are seb's dads they do share him, he's not a kid of their own the two of them, that's accurate? I don't get the anger it's not a crime to want to have kids with your husband without a third (and fourth) party

i mean, my opinion is that in the context of aaron’s entire relationship with seb, but much much more specifically the last week of episodes, the whole “a kid of our own” thing was worded super deliberately?

because i think you could argue that if, say, aaron had decided a month ago that they should have another kid and broached that subject with robert, the phrasing would be entirely different

it would be about expanding their family and giving seb a sibling and loving where he and robert are at in their lives, i’d imagine? like, just going by the way aaron has spoken about their family previously

and even, if we go to a specific scene - the last time they spoke about having kids, right before gerry’s death, robron are like u know what??? we are great dads and great guardians, which accidentally gets them onto the topic of having more kids. they have that weird little pause where u know they’re both internally yelling what if we have eight more kids right now, before they’re like loool three kids in the house is enough for the moment right hahaha

but u know they’re fully into this idea

like, this whole conversation is obvs helping to frame the tragedy of gerry’s death, yes, but it’s also a good look at how they’d see having more kids as exactly that - more kids on top of the family they already have

(and there’s a lot of other moments where you can see how aaron sees his place in seb’s life 

fuck rmr when they proposed to each other and rob was like OK AND WHAT ABOUT ADOPTING SEB and aaron was like wait what and then the next day like UH I’D LOVE NOTHING MORE???

like, the show has done months of groundwork of them being a family, everyone refers to aaron as seb’s dad, aaron is always both comfortable in his place in seb’s life and has been very outspoken about that. rebecca has also said multiple times that aaron is also seb’s dad. like, the framing is there.

(i know that people have said that they don’t necessarily think the way they’ve done it is convincing, but not finding it convincing does not mean it didn’t happen on screen. whether the viewer believes it or not is a separate issue.)

as i said, i can’t imagine that, a few months ago or even a week ago, aaron would have broached the subject of babies as ‘let’s have a baby of our own’, with this implication that seb isn’t their own, or that aaron wasn’t genuinely very satisfied with the situation of their parenting 

like, he literally never had an issue that he was co-parenting with two other people. that never came into things as a problem for him.

so then the conversation yesterday is happening in the context of a lot of things :

rebecca wants to take seb away

aaron doesn’t want it and is the most outspoken about that

rob is very much like ok we need to keep the peace but i stand by aaron’s choice here - and so we genuinely do see them working as a team, as this complete unit, with aaron genuinely taking the lead on how to proceed with what’s happening with seb

until rebecca has a meltdown bc she want robron to live 50 miles away from seb but her living 50 miles away from either her boyfriend or seb would be the end of the world

and rebecca is talking about getting the courts involved and staying in emmerdale until a decision is made (and no longer)

and rebecca makes it clear that robert and aaron won’t win, thanks to aaron’s convictions

robert, feeling the need to protect aaron from understanding that he is the reason why ultimately they won’t get to keep their son (as the show frames it) decides that if he gives up seb now, without aaron getting a chance to fight it, aaron might never have to realise why they had to lose seb and maybe it would be easier to not delay the inevitable and ultimately kinder on aaron

which means ultimately that robert sends seb away without consulting aaron

aaron straight up asks robert if he thinks aaron is a bad dad - he feels hurt and undermined in his position as seb’s dad

rob tries to explain why he did it but he can’t really, because the whole point was to save aaron from the truth of it

and i think this was like... the turning point for aaron to start feeling insecure about his place in seb’s life. bc before, seb was living happily with them and they were talking about adopting and legal rights and whatever and no one even questioned how aaron fit in with seb’s life - aaron was seb’s dad and that was that

so i genuinely don’t think he ever particularly worried about the fact that seb legally wasn’t his, or that his position relies entirely on robert??? bc he never had to before????

and rob clearly never really thought about it, beyond knowing that he wanted aaron to have legal rights somehow, particularly once they thought rebecca was out of the picture

robert literally said that he felt relieved when rebecca had left, because it could just be the four of them. aaron barely reacted to rebecca leaving and coming back outside of being worried about robert - he never once wavered in how comfortable he felt as seb’s dad. he spent a whole scene describing elements of seb’s future that he’d been thinking about and all the ways he knew he’d be a parent to seb. 

but then rob ripped seb away from him without even giving him a say

and it was with good intentions and the best rob felt he could do in a horrible situation, but

to aaron i think it was like being hit with the reality of the situation all at once

and then aaron’s struggling and robert is trying to explain things to him and making him feel better and aaron literally spends the entire next day hugging seb lmao 

rob doesn’t get even one hug hahaha 

but then aaron can’t bring himself to give seb back bc aaron knows what it’s like to be abandoned by a parent and rossbecca panic and start bringing the police and the courts back into it 

which makes robert panic because he knows they’ll lose - even though aaron doesn’t

and so he has to ultimately explain this to aaron, thereby causing him the pain he’d tried to avoid

but the fact that rob took seb away without asking aaron still happened

and what happens when aaron tries to take seb away?? the fuckin police almost get involved and suddenly they’re staring down the threat of supervised visitations lmao

bc rob’s say technically outweighs aaron’s

and then robert is pissed bc aaron deciding that kidnap was the right response was obviously stupid and short sighted - particularly since, as robert explained in detail, rob has very strong feelings about not going to court and about parents being amicable where children are concerned thanks to his own childhood

so rob is like fuck u i’m going to the lawyer by myself and i’m gonna ignore your calls all day xoxo - not because rob thinks he has more of a right to seb necessarily but literally because he’s a petty bitch lmao. he specifically makes a point to aaron that he ignored aaron’s calls because aaron had taken seb and not picked up his phone and rob had spent all day worrying that they were dead lmao (and then it caused an entire shit storm lololol)

but again, to aaron, who has already been forced to confront the lack of control he has over this situation that’s hugely life affecting for him, this just feels like even more of a push back

and then robert says ‘my son’ and aaron is once again like ok so you said we’re a team but we’re actually not a team where seb is concerned, it’s all about you???

and rob explains that he’s just angry and so not thinking clearly about his words and doesn’t see that it’s a big deal, but it’s like a final nail in the proverbial coffin, isn’t it? aaron’s spent days dealing with the fact that his own son can be taken from him without him being able to do fuck all about it

and his baby sister has just died, something incredibly out of his control and something he wasn’t really able to grieve over in public

and so whilst paddy is with robert explaining that aaron struggle with grace’s death and that for the pain of their own son being taken from them, all they have is each other, aaron is contemplating this whole world of ways in which he's not allowed to be a parent to his own son

and so his solution is to have a baby with robert - a kid of our own. not another baby - a baby that’s just theirs. who can’t be taken away from him.

this is happening in the context of everything above. this isn’t supposed to be the perfect solution, because the reality is that getting a surrogate and having a baby isn’t going to make aaron stop seeing seb as his son and it isn’t going to cure the fact that he feels this immense loss of control 

like, it’s not going to make him feel any more secure as seb’s parent - something he still very much is. 

this is the longest fucking answer in the world all to say the following: i think the choice of words is indicative of aaron struggling with a different problem and his solution isn’t one that will help solve that problem at all

it’s not that aaron wants a kid with robert without a third party - it’s that he wants a kid with robert because there wouldn’t be a third party, because he thinks that that’s the best way to simulate what he feels should have happened with seb

but it doesn’t actually solve the issue with seb, which won’t ever go away. they’re literally trying to actively stay in seb’s life, as his dads. having a baby now won’t make aaron suddenly feel ok about the situation with seb.

the damage is already done. it was done the second robert gave seb to ross and rebecca. 

bc the reality is that it’s not about having a baby or being a parent. it’s an issue that aaron has with robert. because robert inadvertently caused all of this. it’s the bad luck of a terrible situation yes, but it was also robert. aaron felt completely secure until robert undermined him. not rebecca. not ross. rebecca and ross both were totally treating aaron with the same respect they were treating robert. they didn’t make aaron feel insecure about his place in seb’s life. robert did.

and so having a kid with robert isn’t going to solve that issue at all lmao

#answering anons #or maybe they'll just be like YEP SURROGACY SOLVES IT and then move on to other stories lmao #who knows what the show will do #long post #speculation #robron #Anonymous