#and life has been stressful in general

[pichiicake]

#pokemon #nincada #ninjask #shedinja #bug #pokemon gen 3 #Shape-y bugs for my art block #All hail the random pokemon generator! It coerces me to draw bugs this time #Life has been kind of stressful lately so maybe that's where my art block is coming from

[citricacidprince]

Thinking about Psychonauts and how much I love the Aquato family once again

They mean the world to me your honor

#They are a strange little family with so many issues and generational trauma and YET they still LOVE EACHOTHER #DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS TO ME??? #Nona; Augustus; Donatella; Dion; Frazie; Rasputin; Mirtala; Queepie- #I love you all and I owe you my life #DION AND DONATELLA ESPECIALLY; Y’ALL GET SO MUCH HATE FOR HAVING UNDERSTANDABLE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL :( #Aquatos get behind me; I’ll protect you from the people who think you abuse Raz and should just get adopted by Sasha and Milla #that’s a bad take and they should feel bad. like; he can still see Sasha and Milla and alternate parental figures; that’s fine- #But Raz; CANONICALLY; would NEVER give up his family; EVER #That boy would force everyone to have a heart on heart with him until everything is better because he DOES that in the GAME #When you talk to you family in Psychonauts 2 you can tell how much he loves them and how much they love him; even if it’s strained at the- #moment from how stressful the past THREE DAYS have been #YES EVEN DION AND DONATELLA #They love Raz so much!!! They’re both just going through it™️ atm and need time to clear their head: remember; everything that has happened- #has been in the span of 3 DAYS and their whole lives have been completely flipped upside down #I think they’re allowed to be upset; in fact; it would be weird if they weren’t #sorry this is word garbage I just love that family so much it makes me wanna drink paint #prince rambles in this chilies tonight #aquato family #psychonauts aquatos #psychonauts 2 #psychonauts

[mongeese]

"Riz is the only character allowed to take stress for other people" oh okay what if i died

#they skimmed over this fast and it's funny but also MY BOY MY FUCKING BOY #because his whole fucking life has been taking on stress for other people. that's what he DOES it's his love language his everything #showing love through work. staying up all night working on cases for friends making folders and conspiracy boards so they can all pass... #riz gukgak the kid that you are i want to give you the world's biggest hug and say it's okay for you to look out for yourself first #i generally relate to adaine more than riz but this right here... lets just say im projecting big time #d20 #fh #fhjy spoilers

[zenith-at]

thank you tsukumizu

#i had a sudden urge to write about how much i love tkmiz's works now that shimeji simulation ended #but i dont really know what to say tbh but really tkmiz has influenced my life a ton in the last few months and reshaped me in massive ways #(rewatching girls last tour and reading manga properly this time and reading shimeji and other things) #you should watch girls last tour and read girls last tour and read shimeji simulation asap #p.s. if any of my followers were wondeirng ive been mostly inactive on tumblr due to a lot of irl stress and other personal issues #i will return some time soon #also sorry for microblogging in the tags im just trying to avoid having to use microblog tag #shijimarin #shoujo apocalypse adventure #(shimeji simulation and girls last tour) #i probably need to make a generic tkmiz tag lol

[deityofhearts]

anyways thank you to my friends for letting me occupy a space in your heart <3

#deity dialogue #and thank y’all for being patient with me and still loving me despite Everything #sorry to my followers also I am a messs rn a messsss #I’m either this or always sad I feel like #today has been so stressful because like general life and the niceness and reassurance really just made me feel better #I’m taking medicine so I should be alseep soon and therefor y’all are free from sappy crying crystal hours #just!! there are people who love me and I love them too!!!

[devilsskettle]

i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/

#stop it...... #i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take #i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in....... #ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday #each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy #selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need #standing all day long just fucking bored #hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in #ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day #when nothing new ever happens #and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either #i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling #and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me #i walk there i stand all day and i walk home #that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like. #i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in #if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy #but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot #idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do #there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits #and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future #so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless. #sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol #all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that

[gibbyslounge]

things im still not over (as someone who was mostly inactive since mid 2021):

mask and change my clothes!! i dont think i was active on tumblr when change my clothes was released, but the way i ascended when i heard his soft sweet singing voice <33 mask is my favorite song of his and it still makes me emotional to think about what the song meant to him. his creativity is one of his greatest strengths and i am endlessly happy that he found a way to share more of himself in a way that he really enjoys

DREAM TEAM MEETUP tbh i really did not know if these days would ever come. its so so so crazy to think that florida man dream texas cowboy sapnap and british george are really all living together and existing in the same space. seeing them be THEM irl is still very surreal and makes me pause for a second without fail. so so much of the community centered around them not having met each other irl

DREAM FACE REVEAL!!!! this one i REALLY HONESTLY didnt know if it would ever come, just because the courage it takes to face reveal after building one of the largest audiences is fucking crazy. i thought that even if they did end up living together, dream might’ve found that he is happy to just be with them and not want to face reveal anymore. ig never doubt dream- he’s such a “go big or go home” type of person. i love him regardless but now he is also a big bear who wears cat beanies and has the prettiest eyes and im emotionally attached

dream pics before his face reveal with a big emphasis on suit pics, swt halloween, and strawberry dream. his white hoodie posey pose and the ones with the blanket and patches have a permanent home in my heart but these had me convulsing and i didnt get to gush about them here </3

#long tagsss #why does it feel like no time has passed yet SO MUCH has changed #i feel very very late to everything i think in some ways i am still kinda stuck in the past #it was just today where i officially really matched dream to his voice and that was rlly cool #he has always been very cute and dorky kind generous and open hearted #and you can see that when he interacts with people in irl streams too #ik i kinda left wo saying anything and sometimes i wish i had still been active to freak out abt everything w everyone #but basically it just got more stressful than fun bc my hpfx became unhealthy and i had to move for college and learn to be on my own #im back home now after transferring and my mental health is a lot better #sm has changed in my life too!! #being active here still makes me feel nostalgic abt all the old times though #however it really is just the beginning and i keep thinking abt how dream spoke abt things speeding up and im v v happy that i get to tunein #dreamblr

[zombinary]

Jimothan talks abt sports and girls and parsleys personal life too much

Taff talks abt faxes and networking and parsleys ambitions too much

#they're overbearing in two different ways that makes parsley feel stressed n smothered a bit while also him feeling like they don't really #understand him or his personality which for jimothan n him is kinda true. but the fun bit is theyre similar than pars thinks #but with taff he's always been a lil closer to his mama so this new dynamic over the years has really got him bc he feels like #thats all that taff cares about in his life or life in general when nah taff is just weird about communication and privacy #but paired with other mistakes it makes a... interesting soup y'know #Taff OC

[1980ssunflower]

Ngl the times are hurting me

#in general my life has been horrible and getting worse day by day #after losing my job everything has just been getting worse #struggling to make money work or have energy to get my commission post stuff in order #and ive been wanting to sing so badly lately ive had the deepest yearning to belt out a song #and i finally tried to sing rn but i felt sad and stressed and then i just. couldnt sing #i felt so deeply embarrassed and ashamed in how i was unable to sing #it hurts too much to have your biggest loves fail you when you need them most tbh #tape entry circa 1980 #vent

[danielnelsen]

always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds

#the first time i treated my thyroid my endo was like ‘i havent had a patient who had this happen for a while so im due for one’ THANKS MAN #personal #im just waiting for it to hurry up and work. my health has PLUMMETED in the last week or so #im so sick and i can’t DO ANYTHING. including SLEEP. even if i was getting enough good sleep i was be exhausted but i’m not so. #the energy’s doing Great #and i’m so hungry all the time but also nauseous so all food is unappealing #genuinely have no idea how i made it through years 7-10 undiagnosed. no wonder i ended up with such a severe phobia of going to bed???????? #i don’t have to worry about routine right now so it’s not as stressful (just horrible because i’m so tired) but i COULDNT SLEEP back then #im just relieved that this time it was found through a routine check rather than me getting a test because of symptoms #usually i test when my anxiety gets really bad in a specific way #but my anxiety isn’t bad this time. no panic attacks and also no migraines. those are all usually the worst to deal with #so comparatively this isn’t even a particularly bad episode?/relapse?/flare? #still more sick than i’ve been in……..years? #im not sure if covid was better or worse. but it was only really bad for a week #this’ll be worse overall because it’ll last a lot longer #hopefully only a month or two but that’s still a few months of my life that just vanish. cool!!!!!!!!!!! #and there wasn’t even a notable event to trigger it this time. first time was whooping cough and subsequent times have been things like— #starting uni and then the last 2 years of uni where i took 10 units in one year then overworked myself doing my thesis #im SLIGHTLY worried that maybe i’ve developed rheumatoid arthritis and that set it off because it’s also autoimmune #i should see my gp soon to get a general antibody test. my joint have been so bad it’s been hard to walk for quite a few months #idk man it all sucks. but for now at least i have my white blood cells (even if they’re literally the problem lmao)

[a-very-fond-farewell]

tried to take a day off from writing. still woke up at 5am. let’s write then 😈🔥

#sneaky niki #lamb loose liveblogging #I wanted to take a day off.. but my brain is now accustomed to wake up at 5 I guess?? #that’s so not fetch of me #topic of the day is: #I’m pissed bc I had to make a sensible decision and move a plot point a few chapters down the line #which is not fun #but feels more organic #judging by the way I’m keeping steady on this fic I think it will reach 300k #that’s a rough estimate #maybe 280k if I’m being generous instead of acting like a sadistic prick #but that’s just a theory #HDS is making it extremely hard for me to keep a steady pacing too #for example. recently he’s been giving me headache after headache about his growing sense of paranoia #he knows he isn’t sleeping enough #he knows he’s stressed af #the only reason why he has to trust one or two people in his life is bc he will turn absolutely insane if he doesn’t #and this is not me shaming #I remember how I was at my most paranoid during a prolonged episode #trust me. that ain’t fun #but he’s starting to hear things. that’s concerning. that’s suspicious. he needs help #but as usual. he refuses to acknowledge his limitations #also. attic-wifing your nemesis maybe isn’t a safe starting point to discuss with a trained professional during therapy #do criminals go to therapy? #I mean. not convicted ones. I do believe it’s part of their reintegration program. good for them #but like.. sneaky criminals? big fish evading taxes? one inconspicuous attorney holding his amnesiac crush hostage? #idk mate this is fiction #you have fun today ok? #go hug someone. or a pet. or a tree. #:D

[lostintime-liketearsinrain]

Binge watching friends and eating a dominoes pizza while Dead Island 2 downloads on my Xbox. Decent combination to help me out my depression pit!

Hope all are doing okay 💛

#been a bit quiet on here the last few days #family worries/work stress/business owner woes / just life in general has been getting me down #but hey ho #autopilot mood #personal #dead island 2

[solvicrafts]

Between COVID, US politics, and Gaza, I've sure lost a lot of friends, acquaintances, and family members in such a short amount of time.

#seems every time the new big thing happens I end up losing a few more people in my life #I found out today that someone I (previously) respected fully supports wiping out Palestinians #I remember as a kid being told that when you grow up you learn to accept other people for their differences and like... yeah. sure. #everybody has an opinion and all but there's a big difference between 'I like pineapple on my pizza' vs 'I support ethnic cleansing' #and the thing is as someone who works and has BEEN working public-facing jobs for almost a decade now #I have SEEN a very visible shift in the way the general public behaves #people ARE getting more aggressive. people ARE losing their humanity. #people are stressed and burnt out in a system and environment that is increasingly becoming unlivable #and we've had a lot of political upheaval not just within our own country but across the world #we're constantly hearing about and seeing graphic depictions of horrific cruelty and mass murder on the news #everyone I know is going through the same problems I am #and most of them have also had to cut ties with friends/family/colleagues and so on due to radicalization #I don't expect everyone I know to have the same opinions and worldviews that I do but I DO expect at least a basic level of human decency

[skinnymeanfaggot]

also

#im making huge huge changes in my life and i think the next logical step would be to cut off jamie. ive already been ghosting him but thats #just me avoiding the problem. i just like. it feels fucked to be like hey i told you i was ok with what you did but i Changed my mind #i just think like. i have next to no contact with him and i feel fucking fantastic. we talk like every couple months on the rare occurrence #he can text and then i answer in vague short sentences and ghost. and now that i finally have firm boundaries with him and havent engaged #with him sexually its like. i feel like basically all my ties are cut. and i feel like im ready to let go for the first time. like ive #always felt like i just wasnt ready but now i like i Am ready its just a matter of like. doing it. thats difficult. even though i know hell #accept it because hes matured. and like. idk. i think its fine like this #and idk i think its fine like this. being the absolute barest form of acquaintances. i cannot stress how little we interact and how little #affect he has on my life at this point outside of what happened in the past. like i am in a good place he is 99% cut off i just need to do #the last bit. but like also fuck. you know. its hard to kinda finish it off. and its also like ooh it would hurt his feelings but now i #fucking. dont care lol. after everything. with blue i realize every day just how much more respected i feel and less gross and shitty #even with being jamies friend which we never were because whenever i was single we were sexual. i just felt bad. i never wanted to fuck #either. and he would say he loved me and id be like hahaha yeahhhh and now that ive finally drawn that boundary and said he cant do that #anymore i feel so much lighter and i just feel so happy and safe with blue in a way ive never felt with jamie and its like. im almost there #i feel like i might be able to cut him off by the end of the year. and thats crazy to me. i just also have a lot of like shit to unpack #in general too also. with what he did. and i just have a lot. but i feel like im progressing

[tj-crochets]

Updates! - I got a new job! Or a promotion? Different job title and hours, same company. It’s a full time job, which is very nice but means less crafting time. I can hand sew/crochet/embroider while sitting at my desk waiting for emails, but I can’t use my sewing machine and I get a lot more emails, so less crafting time - I am almost done hand sewing a chicken. For various reasons, I couldn’t machine sew this pattern anyway, and I needed something to do to keep me busy between emails, so chicken time!! I am not posting photos because all it’s missing is a head, and I’m not going to take a picture of a headless plush chicken. Somehow, my grandma would know lol (she hates when I leave plushies headless or faceless for any length of time) 

#the person behind the yarn #crafting updates #also my dad (who I live with) tested positive for covid #I tested negative and he's quarantining away from me #so now it's the 'wait for symptoms to start or to test positive' stress #to go with the worrying about my dad #he got his booster like a month ago and I've heard this round of covid is less bad than previous ones in general #please do not correct me if I am wrong. Nothing to do but wait right now #and I can have literal allergic reactions to stress #like. anaphylaxis. not like hives #so I am trying very hard to not stress! to varying levels of success #my dad is doing okay. he has a mild cough and body aches but his blood oxygen level is good and he doesn't have a fever #I have not had to take a benadryl yet so I am also doing okay #and I have no more covid-y symptoms than I usually do? #and I suspect if I were ill it would not be subtle. at all. adrenal issues and illness are not friends. #also I've just never been subtle a day in my life about anything

[causticsunshine]

.

#people keep commenting on my fics begging for updates but i’m gonna be real y’all: i have nawt been feeling it lately #i’m still gonna finish them ofc ofc but i’ve not been in the mood to write and i’ve barely been paying attention to #much in the hilb verse / larrie nation as of late #my interest is spread across a few different things rn + work has been really hard lately #plus life in general. and there are so many awful things happening in the world #the consistent apartheid in palestine. the coltan mining disasters in congo. the horrors in sudan. #i just don’t feel in the right state to be spending my limited spare time on fanfic + on a hobby i’m not feeling very connected to at the #current time #i appreciate the support and desire to read more of my work ofc #but just as always on top of what i said above #comments strictly begging for updates make me #feel adverse to updating? like they don’t motivate me at all to work. they just stress me out #so i apologize but that also hasn’t been helping #the most i’ve been able to do the last month and a half is half heartedly edit chapter two of SMYL #it’s almost entirely smut and that’ssss also a struggle for me to write when there’s a lot of it #(and yet i have lengthy detailed smut in everything i write oops) #i will try though i hate having so much on the backburner. i just wanted to give a general update on things #alex talks