#and like i can't do anything there because corona

[not-magdi]

"Us, Forever"

Summary: Pablo can't believe how lucky he got with you, he really can't believe it 

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N

I managed to get Corona! The one time I would have had time to write something I got Corona and a Fever that cooked my brain. But, now my test is negative again and my brain is producing ideas like crazy! 

Hope you like this one though,

Love you guys Magdi <3

You didn't know what to think when you saw his pain-filled expression on TV. You sat there, completely frozen, worry the only thing on your mind.   

When you heard his sobs over the phone as he told you how bad it was, your heart shattered into a million pieces. That day made you realise that from that moment on, you had to be the strong one in this relationship. 

It made you realise that he needed you to be the one he could lean on, the one Pablo could let his guard down, somebody that could be strong for him too. So he didn't have to be all the time. 

You made it to your mission to do everything in your power to help him in any way possible. You rebuilt your living room into a bedroom, so he didn't have to go up any stairs. You held him day and night when the pain got too strong, and the only thing he could do was cry. 

"Baby, I'm here ... I'm here for you. Let it all out I got you."

His grip on your hoddie was so hard that his knuckles turned white. You wrapped your arms around him like you wanted to protect him from everything terrible that this world threw at him. 

Pablo felt safe in your arms. Your sent calmed him down. The warmth of your body engulfed him in a comforting manner. 

He buried his face deeper into your neck as he felt his breath starting to slow down again. 

"T-Thank you, I-I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."

You grabbed his head to make him look at you. You assured him, "Hey, it's completely ok to feel like shit sometimes. What you are going through is nothing easy. Sometimes you just have to let it all out." 

Kissing his head, you stand up to grab something to eat for the two of you. Seeing that it was already 6 in the morning, you decided to start the day, knowing you two wouldn't fall asleep anymore. 

Pablo kept lying on the couch. The pain in his knee was now only a dull ache. He sat up a bit to be able to see you rummaging through his kitchen drawers, trying to find something to eat.

An unconscious smile makes its way onto his face. He can't get his head around how you are willing to do all of this for him. Like he really doesn't know what he would do without you. You'd do everything for him, he doesn't even have to ask for it. 

But it scared him that you wanted to help him so much. It frightened him that one day, you could wake up and realise how much work it was to be in a relationship with him. And that you would leave him because of that.

Realistically, something like that would never happen, but he was a chronicle overthinker, so let him be. 

When you came back from the kitchen with two plates in your hand, you sensed something was bothering him, but you wanted him to tell you on his own. 

You two ate your breakfast in silence, it was a weird kind of silence. You felt that Pablo wanted to tell you something the whole time, but nothing came. He just sat there and played around with his food. 

"You not hungry?" 

Looking like a child who got caught doing something stupid, he shakes his head and lowers his gaze again, not able to hold eye contact with you for so long. 

Thinking he wouldn't say anything at all. You were about to say something when you heard him say. "How do you do it?" 

Confused, you look at him. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean, like ... like how do you keep up with me?" 

Your confusion didn't get any better. You looked up from your plate and saw Pablo already staring at you, a curious yet slightly sad expression on his face. 

Pablo noticed your confused expression and continued to talk. 

" I mean, how can you keep up with literally having to be my server? You are cancelling your plans to stay home with me and do everything to keep me comfortable. You put my life before yours. Why do you do that? I-I don't understand. "

You loved him deeply and didn't see your efforts as a burden. It was natural for you to do what you could to help him. You couldn't enjoy yourself while he was suffering because it felt wrong to you.

Your silence made Pablo panic a bit, maybe he made you realise that you didn't want to live like that. What if you were actually sick of him needing care 24/7 now? 

Your voice interrupted his inner monologue, " I have no clue, to be honest. It's just - the second I heard you were injured, I felt like I had to take care of you, to help you somehow." 

You took a second to think of your following words. "When I heard you crying on the phone that day, I just felt the need to protect you, to take care of you. I know that you are a capable individual who can handle things on your own, but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. When you care about someone deeply, it's natural to want to do everything in your power to ensure their well-being. So, even though I trust your abilities, I just want to remind you that I'm here for you if you ever need help or support. Your happiness and safety mean everything to me, and I'll always do my best to make sure you're feeling okay."

Hearing Pablo sniff made you stop your rambling and look at him. 

"Dios mio, these medications make me emotional." 

Pablo let out a wet chuckle as he wiped his tearing eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

You smiled at the boy before you and leaned down to place a kiss on his red nose. "I don't care, I love you one tear more or less isn't gonna change that."

"I love you too, so so much." 

#pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi oneshot #gavi x reader #pablo gavi x you #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi #gavi x you #fc barcelona #fc barça

[marleyybluu]

Boy, Bye

Spooky x black!fem!reader

Words: 3k

Warnings: 18+, smut central (with plot), flirting, mentions of drinking and drug use (relax it's just weed), smoking and driving (but don't be this stupid), Spooky being a nervous boy at the end, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap that bitch up we don't need any more crotch goblins jk), creampie because I'm a sick bitch, Spanish nicknames as usual, probably misspelling bcus I was high as shit writing this. lmk if i missed anything

A/N: This was inspired by Boy, Bye by Ari Lennox, her album age/sex/location is a banger I have rediscovered it and the idea hit me like a brick. I do wanna say I don't mention the readers skin tone or anything but she is a black woman bcus i mentioned a fresh set of braids. and black women should be the only ones wearing box braids, wigs, etc... in case yall forgot :)

Not my gif.

The distinct chatter of club patrons droned out of your ears as a persistent ringing replaced it. You sat at the bar, your back turned to counter and your elbows planted firmly on the surface. Just minding your business. Drinking your rum and coke.

"You look sweet like mangoes." A very hot and unwarranted breath invaded your space and it was a reminder as to why you didn't want to come out in the first place. Men were gross, they ruined everything with catcalls and what they think are sweet pickup lines. You turned your head to look at him, he flashed a drunken smile— his teeth crooked and filled with whatever he'd eaten before he got here. You rolled your eyes and turned your attention back to the crowd.

He wasn't the first to approach you tonight, especially since you dispersed from your group to sit at the bar, your feet killing you from the stupid but cute heels you wore. "Sweet like mangoes huh?" You reiterated. He nodded leaning in closer as you leaned away. "Yeah. I know."

The man chuckled at your lack of a 'thank you.'

"Now why are you acting like that? Hm? A man can't get to know you?"

You wrapped your lips around your straw and sipped obnoxiously but he wasn't budging. "A man whose leftovers aren't in his teeth can get to know me." You bit. The man leaned back in disbelief, your comment seemingly sobering him up. "Well, fuck you then bitch."

You raised your glass. "You wish you could." That added fuel to the fire and he stormed off like a pissed off toddler. You smiled taking the last sip of your drink, turning around to place it on the bar, you needed a bit of time before you ordered another, might be the last before you go home. You hopped off the stool and grabbed your purse heading to the restroom, surprisingly there was no line but a few girls were hogging the vanity reapplying whatever makeup had come off. You shuffled inside the small stall and propped your purse on the hook of the door.

Once you were done handling business the women had disappeared and you had the sink to yourself, you washed your hands and dried them off with the paper towels provided, and you checked yourself out flipping your fresh braids to the side finding that was cuter than just having a middle part. When you were satisfied you headed back out putting a little pop in your hips. On your way back to your spot you noticed a man, a young man maybe about your age, sitting in on the seat next to yours. You shrugged and headed over anyway hopping back up without saying a word.

You pulled out your phone and noticed a notification from the group chat, one of the girls asking if you were okay and where were you. As you typed you remained oblivious to the stranger next to you, unaware of the little glances that he took at you. He tipped his head back as he drank from his Corona, you sighed putting your phone down. "You're good?" He asked, genuinely, to your surprise. You looked over at him and nodded. Your eyes analyzed whatever you could see in the shitty and low lighting. The first thing you noticed was the shaved head, not really your thing but it was cute on him, his bushy eyebrows raised in interest watching you examine him. He sported a small moustache and a goatee, the sides were clean-shaven, his slim and aquiline nose complimented him as well and with a nose like that, you wondered how the rides were on that face.

"Can I get you a drink?" He asked breaking the silence, you'd accept it, telling him thanks and allowing him to wave over the bartender. You remembered seeing a whiskey sour on the little drink menu and ordering that while he ordered another Corona. He smiled at you, his cheeks so high it made his eyes squint, and you tugged at your bottom lip. "Don't worry I don't have any corny ass pickup lines like the rest of these putos." He reassured. You playfully dismissed him. "Eh, they aren't so bad." Lies.

He turned himself in the stool, his whole body facing you-- one leg on the footrest of the seat and the other on the floor. Your eyes involuntarily dropped down to his lap and quickly back up to his eyes. "Yeah? So, how come you pushed 'em all away?"

He'd been watching you?

"'Cause none of them bought me a drink." You flirted. "Oooh, so that's why I haven't gotten dissed yet?"

You shrugged. "Maybe."

"I can respect that."

Your drinks arrived and you thanked the bartender. He raised his bottle. "Salud."

"Salud." You copied. You took a sip and shook your head, damn that really is sour. He snorted at the way your face contorted. "Don't like it?"

"Didn't expect it to be that sour."

"I could get you a different drink."

You passed. "It's okay, I can handle it. Plus I wouldn't want one of your little girlfriends seeing you buy me more than one drink."

He rolled his eyes bringing his drink to his lip, "No girlfriends over here."

"Surprised."

"Why?"

You set your whiskey sour down and boldly stated, "You're way too fine to be alone." He turned his head away from you, a warm feeling spreading across his face but he couldn't let you see it. "Thanks, mamita." He responded turning back to your direction. "You sure your man won't fight me for buying you one? 'Cause I can put up a good fight cariño."

You tilted your head to the side, smitten. "No boyfriend's over here."

"Good to know."

— — Your once drastic and boring night was starting to look upward. Spooky, you found out to be his name, was good conversation. Yeah, he threw a corny line here and there but you actually liked them coming from him, he wasn't trying too hard he was just being playful.

Your eyes landed on the imprint on his neck, a crucifix tilted on its side with the name Santos etched down the middle. "Los Santos... hm are you?"

"Am I what?"

You leaned into him your hand finding its way to the side of his neck and gently dragging your nails on his inked skin. "A saint."

His eyes focused more on your lips. "More of a sinner." He mumbled. You giggled tipsily. "Boy, bye."

The DJ had announced it was the last song of the night, you looked at your phone reading 3 AM, your plans to leave early had been disrupted in the best way. Spooky noticed your attention detour. "Ready to go home?"

You sighed now not wanting the night to end. "Guess so."

"I could drop you home."

Your eyes sharpened, you didn't know him... but, fuck, you liked him enough to almost agree to it. "I don't know if I want a sinner dropping me home."

He put his hand over yours, the contact sparked a warm feeling in your lower belly. He guided your palm to his chest. "I'll be a saint,cielito, don't worry."

You laughed wholeheartedly. "That was so fucking lame."

"Made you laugh though."

It did.

You agreed to take the ride and while he paid for the drinks you texted the group:

Y/n: got a ride home ;) I'll talk to you bitches tomorrow.

They gassed you up for any potential activity tonight and hoped that you'd get home safely. Spooky got off first and held his hand out to help you down, he didn't let go as he led you through the crowd, he met up with the boys you assumed he came with and dapped them up with his free hand, his other one never letting go of yours.

Soon, you two were out the door, you lowkey stumbled through the parking lot, alcohol and heels were never a good combo. He helped you though. And you two arrived in front a Red Impala, your mouth twitched with fascination. "Nice car." You blurted out. "Thanks ma, worked on it myself."

"Damn, he's cute and a mechanic? You sure no one is crazy over you?"

He opened the door for you. "No, just you."

"I'm not crazy, yet." You pointed before sliding inside. He closed your door and headed over to his side. Your body was full of tingles, the feeling reaching your toes but you didn't know if it was the buzz from your drink or if it was him. Either way, you were enjoying this.

Spooky pulled off. You sighed and smiled lazily throwing your head back, you were floating— your body felt like it was flying through space. "You smoke?" He asked, you heard a lighter flicker and you shook your head. "I do, but I can't take anything else right now."

He shrugged and inhaled the THC, he reached for the dial on his stereo and turned up the volume, the music he was playing earlier resuming its beat. Sierra Leone by Frank Ocean serenaded your ears. "I love this song."

You hummed along to the slow tune. Spooky caught you in the corner of his eye, he smiled. He enjoyed the show and the company until he pulled up to your neighbourhood and into your driveway. You groaned, did he really have to go?

You notice him turn the car off. "You're not coming inside you know."

He smirked. "Don't worry, I'm just taking you to the door at least."

You slightly frowned, he left you for a few seconds before your door opened and he offered his hand once again. You successfully landed on your feet, your hand moulded with his and now it was your turn to lead him. Up the steps. You fumbled with your keys until you found the correct one, you felt nervous under his gaze. Those low eyelids undressing you, you just knew it. Your key slid into the slot and turned it unlocking your door. "Thanks... for the ride."

"No problem, ma." You looked up as he towered over you. His energy pulled you in, you were drunk but you weren't that drunk. Maybe he could come in for a little bit.

— — Clothes spread across your bedroom floor, the sheets sliding off the bed like melted cheese. You two were in a tangle of limbs, naked bodies pressed against each other, his nose brushed yours as he planted the softest kiss on your lips. Your hands flew to his flushed cheeks pulling him in with eagerness and at the same time, his slender finger running over your blue panties. You smiled against his lips. His kisses were so warm and passionate. 

He used his fingers to tug at your panties, hauling them to the side. You whined feeling him run them between your wet folds, collecting and salivating your juices. He toyed with your clit, slowly and steadily, your hips bucking up to chase his touch. Ending your short misery a finger entered your heat, you gasped in the middle of your kiss and your eyebrows knitted together, your face reading 'finally.' You smiled hazily against his lips once he pulled it out and plunged back in with an additional finger. "Fuuuuck."

He skillfully curled his fingers up hitting that spongey spot, that sweet spot. You squirmed under him with pleasure and anticipation... desperation, for more. You sat up on your elbows looking down and seeing his fingers work their magic on you, your mouth fell open, pushing your hips forward once again. You just wanted more.

You looked back up at him. "You're so pretty when you make that face, cariño." He complimented. The heel of his hand brushed against your pulsing clit, you clenched around his fingers causing a smirk to appear on his face. "S-shit, please."

"Please what mi amor?"

For once, you were in no mood for foreplay, you were very slick and sticky with arousal. "Just fuck me, please."

He smiled shaking his head at your earnest request, he continued his teasing assault on your sweet spot, his lips connecting to your neck, your eyes rolling at the immense pleasure you were receiving. Your hand on the back of his neck holding him in place. "Yes... oh... yes!" He was pulling your orgasm closer and closer, your hips raised off the mattress. "I thought you just said you wanted me to fuck you?"

"I-I do."

"Doesn't seem like it now." He evilly chuckled. The sound of your pussy juice and your frantic whimpers went straight to his dick, his growing erection poking at your leg. "I'm gonna cum." You wept. Spooky slowly pulled out his fingers leaving you on the brink of an orgasm, you groaned glaring at him. He winked wrapping his lips around the fingers that were just inside you, he licked off your essence until his fingers were clean. You giggled dropping your head on the pillow.

Spooky pulled off his boxers and his dick sprung out with a wet thud once the tip hit his lower abdomen, fuck he was so hard, you drooled at the sight spreading your legs further apart. He wrapped his hand around his girth sliding his tip between your soaked folds before carefully pushing his length inside you. Your voice broke at the feeling of him against your gummy walls, enveloping every inch he had to give you. Your bottom lip finds comfort between your teeth, your head tipped back and your toes curled. His sack hits your ass as he bottomed out. Filled you to the brim.

Spooky held his position, enjoying the feeling of you wrapped around him. His warm hands find solace on the back of your thighs, sliding up to the crook of your knee. You felt as he pushed your legs back, your knees touching your chest. He pulled his hips back and pushed them forward flush against your pelvis his coarse curly hair at the base of his shaft brushing against your clit, an additional sensation. 

Your hands wrapped around his wrists as he rocked into you, giving you strokes you've never felt in your life. Your mouth fell open, breathless whispers leaving your throat, egging him on about how well he stretched you, how full you felt with him inside you. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! That feels so-o good." 

Spooky smirked looking down at you, your various love faces so beautiful being contorted with pleasure. He leaned down, your legs now planted on his shoulders, he kissed your nose and then forehead before pressing his against it. There was a mix of sounds-- his grunting, your erotic moans and the sound of skin on skin bounced off the walls, if you lived in an apartment they'd probably knock on the wall to complain. 

You could feel yourself leaking, dripping, onto the sheets and coating his dick in your desire. "You're so fucking pretty when you're taking me, princesa. Eres muy guapa." He groaned, your head fell back, your high carefully approaching once again. Your nails left crescent shapes on his skin. "Shit! I like being inside you, you're so fucking wet, bebita." 

Your walls constantly fluttered around him. He hissed and you smirked. "I know you feel that, fuck, I'm gonna cum for you." 

His hand slipped between sweaty bodies, his fingers finding your clit once again. You wrap your arms around the back of his neck, his teeth nibble at your jaw. "Right there! Uh-huh, right fucking there!" Spooky pounded into you, hard yet maintaining rhythm. Your eyes are glossy with incoming tears, the overstimulation of it all. "Fucking squeeze me, mamita. I got you, cum on this dick." 

His words tip you over and your body tenses up and your eyes fall into the pit of your skull. He felt every pulsation of your orgasm, his tip constantly hitting your spot. He held up his weight, his hands rested on your lower back fingers gripping your ass cheeks. His thrusts became sloppier as he helped your ride out your orgasm and his quickly approaching. "Oh my god," You hazily giggle. "Fuck! Yeah, use me to get yourself off, please. Cum wherever you want, baby, give it to me." 

Spooky pushed in one more time, you faintly smiled at the feeling of his warm spend squirting inside of you. You were both out of breath, Spooky leaned back and sat on his knees with his softening dick still buried inside you. He helped take your legs off his shoulder and you mumbled in pain. "Shit... I mean I didn't expect you to actually fold me." 

He laughed. "I said I was gonna do it." He spoke in reference to his warning earlier when you lured him into your house. He leaned down once again to give you an affectionate kiss. "You feeling okay?" 

"More than okay." You confessed. "Good," He kissed your nose before pulling out, you almost pouted at the loss. "You're okay if I grab some water?" 

You nodded telling him there were bottles in the fridge, he shot you a thumbs up and put on his boxers before he left, once he was out of your sight you let out a big sigh of relief and a very bright smile was sure to follow. You felt so giddy, butterflies were making their home in your nervous system. What the fuck was this feeling? 

Spooky grabbed two bottles and made his way back upstairs, offering you one. You thanked him and sat up as carefully as you could. You caught a prideful smirk on his face. "Don't start." You warned him, he put his hands up in defence. 

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asked out of the blue. "Not much, why?" 

"Uh, I'm not one to overstep my boundaries and it's up to you,  really, but do you want to get something to eat?" 

You nodded. "Of course. Any places in mind?" 

"There's a... breakfast bar... downtown." He sounded more nervous with that statement. You blushed. "Breakfast? Oh, so you want to spend the night with me, Spooky?" 

He suddenly felt like an idiot, he was very much a one-night stand or a friends-with-benefits person but with you, he kind of wanted to see if this could go somewhere. "If that's cool with you." 

You set your bottle down on the nightstand, you smiled propping yourself up on your hands and knees. You crawl over to him and kiss his temple, you go down to nibble his ear and whisper; "If you keep fucking me like that, I just might have to keep you." 

He shivered, his dick jumped at the thought alone. Quickly the roles were reversed back his fingers intertwined with yours as he put you on your back. 

"I better get to work then."

If you liked this fic, feel free to like this fic. comments and reblogs are always appreciated.

peace and love, see you in the next one.

🏷: @darqchilddaydreamz @skyesthebomb @realhotgurlshit

if i'm missing any tags or if you'd like to be tagged in any upcoming fics let your girl know.

#Spotify #oscar diaz #spooky #spooky x black!reader #oscar diaz x fem!reader #spooky fanfic #spooky fanfiction #on my block fanfic #on my block #on my block fanfiction #smut #oscar diaz smut #marleywrites #marleysfanfictions

[luveline]

i think an eddie blurb about getting stuck under the mistletoe could be reallllllly cute, maybe w plus size!reader! but really whatever tickles ur fancy!! thank u if you do and thank u if you don’t :)

thank you for requesting!! ♡

Considering that the party is being hosted by Nancy Wheeler, things are getting pretty rowdy. 

You hadn't expected so many people, or the lights to be low like this, and you definitely hadn't expected the loud music, but it's been a great time so far. Your friends are here, Nancy's having a good time for once, and Eddie Munson has not only said hello to you, he's actually reeled you in for conversation. Which isn't something pretty boys like him always bother doing with you. 

"You want a drink?" he asks.

That's overly friendly, and it makes your heart skip. "Yes, please." 

"Sure. What do you want? You don't look like a corona girl." 

You shake your head, afraid to ruin this by being too contradictory. "I'll drink anything." 

"Alright." He gives you a smile, and it's important because it's nervous like your own. Excited. 

He ditches the couch where you're sitting and you watch him retreat into the kitchen, soon his head is out of view and you're left replaying his smile in your head. His smile, his rough laugh. He's so theatrical, you hadn't known. You'd thought he was intimidating before you met him, and now you're starting to think he's a total dork. You like dork. 

It's lucky you hear him over the noise. 

"Hey, sweet thing," he calls, grin like a Cheshire cat's where he's standing in the doorway, "this okay?" 

He holds up a can of something you probably won't like but everything's going so well that you can't make yourself ask for anything else. 

"That's fine," you say brightly. 

"What? I can't hear you!" 

"I said, that's fine!" 

He shrugs sheepishly and gestures to his ear. 

You get up quickly and make your way toward the kitchen. It's a short walk but hard to manoeuvre, bodies everywhere. 

"I said it's fine," you start when you're close enough for Eddie to hear, "it's fine. Sorry, it's so loud in here." 

He steps closer to you. You duck your head a tiny bit, shyness creeping in. 

"Listen," he says, "I totally lied, sorry. I could hear you just fine." 

You blink. "Okay…" 

"Because-" He looks up. 

You look up too. 

Mistletoe hangs from the frame, green and slightly wilted. Your heart catapults, and you try to move away from him because there's this phenomena, wherein the fat girl shows that she likes someone, and suddenly she's demonised, she's creepy, and you don't think you can stand to see it on his face — but you can't move. Too many people stand either side. You're stuck here. 

He's watching your squirming with something unknowable on his lips. The tiniest hint of a frown. 

"Sorry," he says. "You don't have to. I think I got the signals wrong." 

"What?" 

"You don't have to kiss me." 

"You want to kiss me?" you ask. 

"Hold this," he says, handing you your drink. Chilled, he brings his hand to your cheek, and the calluses scratch your skin. "If I wanted to, could I?" 

He could. You tell him as much, and you're glowing from the inside out when he moves in. He kisses like he talks, happy, hyper, imprecise and shockingly sweet. A rainbow of Christmas lights splash over his cheek as he edges back, just enough to meet your eye. His breath fans over your tingling lips. 

"I wanted to. You know, if that wasn't clear." 

You close your eyes from smiling so hard. Eddie leans in for another kiss. 

#eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things fic #stranger things #eddie munson drabble

[sassy-cass-16]

man. the locked tomb is so funny and so full of memes and so beautiful and sometimes it just hits me that it's also so fucking sad.

gideon and harrow spent their entire childhoods hating each other for no reason. they never had to hate each other. harrow had gideon's blood on her hands when she opened the tomb and lost her entire family and it was all for no reason. just because gideon had no one to stick up for her. and when they were both orphans they couldn't even talk to each other about it. because they hated each other.

gideon fell so in love with harrow that she died for her and then harrow spent an entire year pretending she didn't exist just so she wouldn't lose her forever. gideon literally tells harrow's story for her and takes such reverent care of her body for the short time she's in it. gideon first saw her own father through harrow's eyes and called him Lord.

and john. and john is terrible. and he is so human that he becomes terrible. he breaks down weeping because no one else in the entire universe will ever understand his jokes again. he lost everything and he is the only one who even remembers the thing that was lost. he is so completely ordinary that you almost feel like you can't blame him for everything he's done but he is terrible. he let his friends die over and over and over again and he wants to wipe everything clean and start over and he is a man who has gone so completely insane from loneliness that he's circled back around to seeming horribly normal.

he greets his daughter with a dad joke and names her as best he can and gives her a title and a body with speed holes that help her go fast. and he's not malicious. and he's not good. you can't even really call him a villain--what the hell else was he supposed to do? in any of these circumstances? but he is trying his best and his best is simply not good enough. the true horror of god is that he is just human.

all the lyctors. all the lyctors are a tragedy in their own rights. augustine and mercymorn are just the two examples that we know the most about, and their own god/father/brother/lover/beloved/teacher killed them both.

(admittedly, mercymorn struck first. admittedly, john was defending himself and his entire empire. admittedly, it was ianthe's choice to save john in the river that killed augustine. less than an hour before that, augustine was apologizing for raising his voice and john told him to have a cigarette and do you see what i mean about it being hard to blame john for anything?)

and the whole concept of the fourth house in general. we don't talk about that enough. that is almost an entire planet's worth of child soldiers, from what little information we have. what does it say about ulysses and titania that they were the ones to found that house? isaac was thirteen. jeannemary was fourteen. they were expected to become full lyctors before isaac's voice had even dropped. there was no way they could make it off canaan house alive. these kids were doomed.

protesilaus ebdoma had a wife and kids. his wife's name is mia and she probably has no idea what actually happened to him. same with abigail's brother and nephew. corona and ianthe's parents must be losing their shit--they think their eldest daughter is dead and their younger one is now a fucking Saint with a gold skeleton arm.

that's not even getting into alecto. or nona. or camilla and palamedes and paul. this series is so fucking sad even without getting into the revelation that all the lyctors are slowly merging with their cavaliers.

#tlt #tlt spoilers #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #the locked tomb spoilers #john gaius #gtn spoilers #htn spoilers #ntn spoilers #tug spoilers #the unwanted guest #god why does this series require so many tags

[paradoxcase]

@wellhappybirthdaytomeiguess:

Pash interacting with folks from the House is some of my favorite stuff in this book. I still love Corona's rejoinder of 'Boobs, and hair, AND a hell of a sword hand' to her. :-) As to the Fourth House skull, might it be because what amounts to child soldiers play a somewhat important role in the chapter, and the Fourth was known for child soldiers?

@forgetfulfish:

I feel like the skulls in Nona tie back to the poem at the start of the book. So four is for Fidelity.

All the ones that don't match a character make sense when matched to the poem but maybe I'm reaching

Ok, so:

Chapter 4: Seventh skull (Seven for beauty that blossoms and dies)

This was the chapter where Hot Sauce noticed someone watching the school and the Angel looked hung over. Hot Sauce also asked Nona to look out for people when she walked Noodle, but this wasn't the chapter where she pretends to radio Corona. Honesty also talked about getting his job to steal air conditioners. I'm not seeing it unless it's a reference to the Angel looking tired? Or maybe it's because Nona and the kids had a conversation about whether or not she was beautiful

Chapter 11: Fifth skull (Five for tradition and debts to the dead)

Nona acted out her pool dream with Camilla, Pyrrha told Nona she'd gone to the park (and killed the people in the cages, but Nona doesn't find this out until later) and seen Hot Sauce there, and BOE interrupted breakfast and took them to see We Suffer (which actually happens in the next chapter). Maybe the people who died at the park count as debts to the dead?

Chapter 15: Seventh skull again

The first appearance of the car with the grille, and Hot Sauce told everyone that the broadcast was happening. This was the day that Camilla failed to come get Nona, so she stayed and fell asleep and Hot Sauce told her about her past and Nona told Hot Sauce (presumably) that she was dying. I guess Nona herself is blossoming and dying here

Chapter 18: Eighth skull (Eight for salvation no matter the cost)

This was the chapter where Nona got shot in the head twice and Hot Sauce declared her out of the gang, and Pash killed a bunch of people and all that jazz. Nothing particularly religious seems to be going on here, and I'm not actually sure what "salvation" means in the context of John's necromancy religion, since it doesn't have a concept of someone dying for other people's sins and John doesn't believe there's anything on the other side of the River, so it can't mean getting there. I guess in the more practical sense of "salvation" of the lives of the characters who can still die, they had to take some risks to do that here?

Chapter 26: Fourth skull (Four for fidelity, facing ahead)

When Hot Sauce let Nona back into the gang again, so yeah, fidelity works here. Or child soldiers, although if I were picking a chapter to reference child soldiers, I would probably pick the one where Hot Sauce told Nona her backstory of being a child soldier (which had a Seventh skull)

Just looking at the chapter images and not reading ahead, it looks like all the other skulls are associated with characters who are actually in this book

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth #wellhappybirthdaytomeiguess #forgetfulfish

[shayminlucario07]

I want to talk about Naberius Tern.

We, The Locked Tomb community, talk a lot about how Babs (AKA Naberius Tern) is awful. Because he is. He is deeply unpleasant, and is viscerally off-putting to the majority of characters in the series- I'm not sure if there's anyone who actually has a positive opinion of him. He's an asshole, and we should treat him as such.

But... that's not his fault.

Something I've seen proposed in a post here on Tumblr (I can't find it and wouldn't know how to link it even if I could, I'm very sorry), which seems to be pretty widely accepted is the idea that, Naberius' proportions being. Basically perfect for the rigidly structured dueling that takes place, is a result of his body being altered by Third House flesh magic to *make* him that way (Likely by Ianthe). But what we don't seem to talk about or acknowledge as much, is...

That's not all that would have been *made* the way it was.

I have seen the theory be proposed that all of Naberius' unpleasant behavior in Gideon the Ninth is simply him attempting to draw attention away from Coronabeth so that she can conceal her lack of necromantic ability (Again, I can't find the post and wouldn't know how to link it if I could, and I am very sorry about that- both posts I've referenced are excellent ideas that make perfect sense and are extremely smart insights!). If this is true, which it very much seems like it is, then it would mean that Naberius has no choice but to be an unpleasant asshole- otherwise, the act he needs to put on to shield Corona wouldn't work. I'm not going to make the claim that Naberius was secretly a good person all along, because that's probably not true, but I think it's important for us to acknowledge the fact that, Naberius Tern has no choice. Naberius Tern has no power. Much has been said about the power imbalance between Necromancer and Cavalier, and about the added layers of nuance to that imbalance in the case of the Necromantic Heirs of Gideon the Ninth- but Naberius is, perhaps, the best possible example. And yes, I say that in spite of Gideon being an indentured servant, knowing full well what that means. While the relationship between Gideon and Harrow is never anywhere remotely close to healthy, Harrow will at least listen to Gideon, ever- though she doesn't do so very often. However, neither Ianthe nor Corona *ever* listen to Naberius. Due to the nature of the Necromancer and Cavalier relationship, the Cavalier has no power by default. There are examples of individual cases where a Necromancer gives power to their Cavalier, such as Camilla and Palamedes, or Abigail and Magnus, or even Judith and Marta, but Ianthe and Corona *do not do this*. In fact, if anything, they have taken away whatever power he may have had, in a very similar way to how Harrow did to Gideon when she kept Gideon trapped on the Ninth- due to Naberius knowing Corona's secret, he *cannot be allowed to have any escape*, in the exact same way as Gideon. He is privy to a secret that could destroy the heir of a house. As such, he is a threat to that house- and his leash cannot be given the slightest bit of slack.

We see at least one example of Naberius seeming to genuinely want something divorced entirely from the Tridentarii. This is when, at the Fifth House's anniversary dinner, he seems to genuinely want to befriend Colum Asht- albeit, in his distinct, asshole Naberius way. And, of course, Colum is visibly discomforted by this, because Naberius is quite unpleasant. However, personally, when I think about this interaction, who I feel the most bad for is Naberius. By all evidence, he seems to be genuinely interested in a friendship with Colum, but this idea is visibly distressing to Colum- and, given the fact that Naberius doesn't have the choice to not be an asshole- at least at Canaan House, due to its public nature- this is a prospect that simply is not available to him, and it isn't even his fault. He is denied the chance at a friendship he seems to genuinely want because of a persona he was *forced* to cultivate.

The final note I want to discuss is probably going to be the least well received, which is frankly understandable- but a sentiment expressed by some characters in the books (Most notably Gideon), and echoed by many fans, is that Naberius' attractiveness is unpleasant. He seems to want people to know that he's hot, and that *he* knows that he is, and he attempts to draw attention to that. He puts time into wearing his hair Pompadour every day, he stretches to show off his abs- and no one cares. He seems to be bothered by this, and it may genuinely be upsetting to him- especially given the fact that, in The Unwanted Guest, it's stated by Ianthe that every ex he's ever had has cheated on him, and that fucks up your self-esteem- but he doesn't actually make a big deal about it. But, the general consensus is that this aspect of Naberius' character makes him particularly unpleasant- and, largely, I think that sentiment comes from our perceptions as the reader being flavored by Gideon's own thoughts, as she is the lens through which we view the events of the book- and Gideon, of course, is a lesbian. She simply does not find men attractive, including Naberius, and she especially seems to find muscular men particularly unattractive, as she describes Protesilaus' muscularity as "Grotesque". Ultimately, her reasoning for this doesn't matter, and it's not a problem- she's perfectly allowed to have that opinion. However, what it has inadvertently lead to- which is further stoked by Naberius' failed efforts to draw attention to his attractiveness, and every character seeming to not find him attractive at all- is that Naberius' attractiveness is, itself, unpleasant; as though that mere fact of his character is a source of unpleasantness. And, to be clear, I can completely understand why someone would find that attitude unpleasant- especially a person who isn't attracted to men, given. You know. The way the world thinks about lesbians, what with patriarchy and all, but this, to me, seems like an example of an odd phenomenon in our modern culture, where men voicing attraction to someone, or attempting to be attractive themselves, is seen as inherently predatory, whereas a woman doing so is not. Now, maybe I'm just wrong- I'll fully admit that's a possibility. I'm a bi/pan cis man, so I definitely do not understand the full nuance of the situation. But, at least the way that I interpreted the book, Naberius *isn't* predatory, he's just kind of conceited? Or, at least, considers his attractiveness to be a major, relevant part of his identity. And, being hot, and trying to be hot, is not inherently predatory- it can make people uncomfortable, but that does not make it *bad*, nor is it *the fault* of the person who is trying to be attractive that the other person was made uncomfortable by them. That's the other person's problem to solve, and not the responsibility of the person who's trying to be attractive, since they're just living their life how they want to. That's true of Naberius, too- it's not a bad thing that Naberius is trying to be attractive, even if he is in a book primarily about lesbians. He has the right to do so- and frankly, given all the shit he's been through, I think he's earned the right to be a bit of a fuckboy.

Anyway, with all that said, my ultimate point is this: While, yes, Naberius Tern is awful and we hate him because he's an asshole, and that's deserved, we also have to be willing to acknowledge the fact that... he doesn't really have any choice BUT to be an asshole, and if he weren't trapped in the *situation* with the Tridentarii, it's entirely possible he wouldn't be an asshole at all. It really isn't his fault that he's deeply unpleasant in so many ways, and that only furthers the tragic nature of his character. And I think that we, as readers and fans of these books, haven't really acknowledged or accepted that. It's actually quite sad that Naberius is so awful, and it's tragic that he ended up that way, whether it was by his own choice or not, whether it was simply a product of his nature or not.

#the locked tomb #tlt #gideon the ninth #Ianthe Tridentarius #Coronabeth Tridentarius #Naberius Tern #Sorry for the mountain of text I have a lot of thoughts

[bleachbleachbleach]

[Bleach 072]

I <3 the version of the Gotei where the official, written into military record, carved into posterity, names for things are things like "Doom Blast" and "Evil Travelers." IT'S SO GOOD. I think it's amusing that the Viz chose to translate "ryoka" but not "seireimon," because both are Bleach-specific vocabulary, but idk, "gate" rolls off the tongue better than "evil travelers." My guess is that it wasn't clear that "ryoka" was a term that was going to get as much play as it ultimately does, and Yoruichi had just spent a page defining and naming the "Seireitei," so calling this wacky skyfall gate the "Seireimon" seemed appropriate.

Fun(?) Fact: 旅禍 (ryoka) is a combination of the kanji for "travel" + "misfortune" and what we'd probably colloquially call in English "the Pandemic" is written コロナ禍 (corona ka), using the same kanji as the "ka" in "ryoka."

But anyway, these guys are all at the gate because as we saw at the beginning of Chapter 71, an alert goes out with instructions to notify "regions 3-7" about the ryoka threat in West Rukongai. But they don't have... jurisdiction? to do anything unless the ryoka actually come inside the gates, so they're just here to Gotei and chill. It's funny that these boundary lines are drawn so strictly in this moment, given that once Yamamoto slaps down those Special Wartime Measures, tracking down the ryoka comes across like a scattered free for all. But maybe everyone who wasn't a captain/VC living out their best cowboy lives really did hew to the original regions/jurisdictions the whole time. But if they did, their grid search of the premises did not go particularly well.

Given how much of the Seireitei appears to already have been broken into the 13 Divisions, I wonder how these regions work. Maybe the Seireitei is additionally sectioned into regions to help mitigate the possibility of each Division cordoning off pieces of the city that become its "turf," minus their actual barracks/offices. Like, it's a concession, where the Gotei is like, "Okay, the Captains can have full autonomy over their units and get to be gang bosses in that way, but we can't be having turf wars in the city, so let's nationalize all of this and make little patrol regions that do not correspond to the layout of the Divisions in the city. So, this afternoon, Regions 3-7, which are on the west end of the Seireitei, will be staffed by Divisions 3 and 9's best and brightest!"

#bleach reread 2021 #bleach manga #bleach カラー #bleach headcanons #shinigamiology #no brain just bleach

[treeofnonsense]

Jodybeth

2. What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

3. Do they wear the other's clothes? (sweatshirt, bandana, necklace, etc.)

4. Which one is more protective? Who needs to be 'protected'?

32. Who's the better story teller?

33. Who's the better cook?

47. Does either of them have a secret that could potentially ruin their relationship?

48. Who's the better driver?

49. Does either of them have a hard time being away from the other?

2. What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

Post-nightmare Corona is mostly just tears and lonely desperation. All Judith has to do is let herself be squeezed and cried on for a little bit while she promises never to leave Corona alone, exactly like that birthday party so many years ago. Her stoic demeanor is strangely comforting, and this works wonders.

Post-nightmare Judith is actually kind of dangerous, when you combine Varun's influence, her combat instincts, and the Second House necromantic trademark of draining people. She tends to lash out at anyone in her vicinity out of panic. Despite Judith's assertions to the contrary, Corona refuses to leave her alone during these times and has instead developed the patented technique of just throwing a blanket over her so she can't fight back, and then using her superior size to make a Jody burrito.

Judith mostly hates that this works.

3. Do they wear the other's clothes? (sweatshirt, bandana, necklace, etc.)

Corona certainly tries, and has probably stretched out quite a few of Judith's outfits by now.

4. Which one is more protective? Who needs to be 'protected?'

Judith loves to think she's the tough protective soldier, and Corona is very willing to let her think this if it means she gets attention. In reality though, we all know who kept Judith alive through their time in Blood of Eden.

32. Who's the better storyteller?

Honestly? Neither of them. Judith speaks everything like she's writing a military document and bores people to death. Coronabeth gets too excited, finds herself lost on a tangent, and never gets to the point. They're actually most successful together, with Judith narrating and Corona popping in every so often to elaborate (it's mostly all true additions).

33. Who's the better cook?

Again, nobody. Judith's taste is horribly skewed by all her time in the military, and because she'll accept just about anything as food she's never bothered to learn to make things taste good. Meanwhile, Corona had Babs and servants to wait on her her entire life and would probably burn the kitchen down trying. She's probably the most likely to learn though, if only out of desperation.

47. Does either of them have a secret that could potentially ruin the entire relationship?

Actually probably not... but they sure as hell THINK they do. Judith, of course, is dead certain that confessing her terrible blasphemous feelings about her dead cavalier would run Coronabeth off, especially in a scenario where Coronabeth herself becomes her new cavalier. Corona would honestly not give a shit about the impropriety of Judith's old crush; that's pennies to the Third House. She'd probably think it's good drama.

When everyone thought Corona was a necromancer, she feared that revealing she wasn't one would make Judith even more uninterested and unimpressed with her. Now that that's out in the open, she thinks the true depth of her feelings for Ianthe might do it. She figures that as uptight and military as Judith is, she'd be furious if she knew Corona would absolutely turn traitor to whatever side Ianthe's on. Honestly Judith probably would be furious... but I don't think it's ever going to be enough to make her stop being in love, and I also think that Judith probably already knows. She saw them both at every birthday party. They're not subtle. Judith knows there's something going on, even if she'd probably rather not think about the details, but her self-loathing conclusion was that of course Corona would pick literally anyone over her, and of course she's not strong enough to stop loving her despite it.

They have secrets that would make each other furious. But I really don't think there's anything that could make one or the other truly cut that tie that keeps pulling them together, despite how much they might claim to want to.

48. Who's the better driver?

Of ships and shuttles? That would be Captain Deuteros. Of cars? Corona, who learned with Blood of Eden - though that doesn't mean much, since she's a terrifying driver.

49. Does either of them have a hard time being away from the other?

She went out for groceries.

I am fully onboard with clingy, needy Corona, especially in any post-canon universe where Ianthe is dead. Judith handles herself pretty well on her own, though she struggles somewhat with her injuries and she'll drop back into her own self-loathing, repressive, asshole instincts without Corona there to ground her a little.

#the locked tomb #ask game #judith deuteros #coronabeth tridentarius #jodybeth #this was fun - especially drawing them and trying to work out my designs for them #thank you!

[bitchfitch]

Got most of the way through a chapter before deciding it didn't fit the flow. rip.

A replicator. A fully functional, Pristine, replicator. Lino couldn't believe his eyes when he caught sight of one of its terminals while Vincent was carrying him from the bed bay to the dining room.

"Stop, That-" he pointed to it in his excitement before remembering his captor was blind, "The replicator, I mean, I want to see it."

"I'm sorry-" Vincent started to apologize even as he changed his course. His plodding steps becomeing hesitant as they approached it, "-I know it is a crime against God but I ... can't cook or grow my own food. I'm sorry -"

"Vincent, no, it's not a crime, it's a blessing you've been tricked into thinking of as a crime," Lino let the lie slide of his tongue as he squirmed out of Vincent's arms to drag himself up to a standing position by the terminal's podium.

The Sun only had a single replicator. An Re4 model that was too slow and expensive to run for anything less important than medicine or parts they couldn't machine with the other tools they had. All other units that had been found were ordered scrapped no matter their condition as The Leader blamed them for the war. They said the abundance of material and food and medicine was what made the people of old so hungry for blood. There was nothing left to need or want besides other people's destruction.

Lino had never believed a word of it. Endless food and medicine and parts could be theirs, no one in even the coldest slums of the Corona would have to go without if The Leader would just let him and the other mechanics move and repair the old beasts.

He dug through the menus until he could turn off the cosmetic interface to see the truth of this miracle machine. It wasn't a Re4. It wasn't a ReUnit, or any other small devices meant for the ultra wealthy who could afford to house a village in a bunker. It was a Replicator. Capital R. one of the originals meant for mass and rapid manufacturing that could make anything from apples to the nuclear warheads that destroyed the old world.

It's diagnostic page showed it's terminal's looks weren't lying. The old beast was still marching along almost as perfectly as the day it had been activated for the first time. There was work to be done on it, sure, but it was the sort of work Lino relished.

... It wouldn't hurt to have a little side project while he figured out his leg situation, right? The Sun would order this massive work of art stripped for parts, would come and kill Vincent just for daring to know it exists. After Lino left, he could tell no one about the miracle just outside their territory, but while he was here he could keep part of the old world alive for just that much longer.

Vincent was quiet as Lino oohed and ahed his way through submenu after submenu, but eventually had to speak his doubts.

"It pretends to be God. It can make flesh and fruit that are exactly like reality, how is it not a crime?"

"Because if it was God wouldn't have made his creations so replicable. It's not a sin to paint or sculpt or grow, why would it be a sin to make a machine that can do it for you?" Lino only had Vincent's own prattling to base his assumptions on as The Sun deemed religion to be just as guilty for the fall of the old world as the replicators were. Still, he found himself sliding into the roll Vincent had cast him in a little easier with every new line he fed the man.

"But... I thought those were gifts meant only for man?"

"And did a human make this machine or not? It's a tool, a big one with a lot of parts, but still just a tool." Lino found the parts list buried away in a plain text document. The specifications written in defunct measures. Notes were still left over from the original manufacturing. Dates of when this or that was assembled, a reference to a component being a lemon and needing to be sent back. Each signed, often just with initials, but sometimes there would be a name that struck out from the lines.

Alan, Antonio, Barnes. Their names immortalized even if they were most likely killed in the initial volley of nuclear war. Carla, Henry, Heather.

Lino told the machine to print the parts list, he'd need to see how things wore out before he had it begin on remaking itself. The mill and compositing set up seemed the most effected by time, and since those were what he'd need most to build his new leg, surely it wouldn't hurt to take the time to get them as pristine as the rest of this marvel?

And perhaps, a smaller part of wanted to learn every name in those margins. They deserved to be remembered.

Vincent let the topic drown in silence as Lino did what he would, his false beliefs in angels making him hesitate to question him further.

"But my grandmother -"

"Was wrong. Humans are wrong sometimes, Vincent. It's ok, God has already forgiven her," Lino dismisses him as he gathers the stack of papers from the output. His hip and knee were already aching from supporting his entire weight after so long spent in bed.

"Of course, of course. My apologies for questioning you," Vincent bowed his head.

"It's all forgiven, my Vincent," Lino reassures him with a hand on his shoulder, half to do the reassuring and half to brace against the mountain that was Vincent. "I believe you were taking me to dinner before I interrupted?"

#vincent #lino #vermins angel

[twotangledsisters]

"Cass dies in the Great Tree" Is the title literal? Or does it mean something else?

Do you have a piece of history made? Anything you could share? That title and that "Shot" made me curious

Funnily enough... it's not literal but because Cass actually dies AFTER leaving the tree XD so not in the Great Tree.

But yeah, it's not a title to keep. If I don't have a title I just put down the concept until I figure one out!

It's an AU where Cass touching Rapunzel has a much bigger consequence and the gang tries to get her help before it's too late but can't. And Rapunzel and company have to deal with both the guilt of not listening to Cass about the tree being dangerous, but also the consequences, things like, writing home to Corona to let Captain know...

It's only meant to be short but it's another case of... how in the world do I end this little bit of angst?

Here's a few snippets of what's already written :D

In the sunlight the extent of Cassandra’s injury became clear, an almost burnt like black texture covered her arm, her fingernails were gone, her fingers didn’t look like fingers. “Cassandra…” Rapunzel stared. Cassandra took a few deep breaths. “Is everybody alive?” Eugene looked around, leaning heavily on Lance, the decay incantation has taken a lot out of him but he could count. “Yeah… Yeah, for now,” he tried to joke. “Does your hand hurt, Cass?” Cassandra looked up at Rapunzel, tears were in her eyes, something Rapunzel had never seen from her usually strong friend. “That’s a yes…” Eugene answered. “I think I need help…” She whispered. Rapunzel nodded. “Don’t worry, Cass, we’re going to get you to the closest town with a doctor! Right, guys?” Nods and the gang got into action, packing what belongings they had left, Fidella knelt down next to Cassandra and Eugene moved to look at the injury, but it was like nothing he’d ever seen before and he didn’t know how to help.

Cassandra rested on Fidella’s back. Her breathing was shallow, and she lacked all of her usual stability. She was so shaky that Lance and Eugene were standing on either side of Fidella, ready to catch the woman if she fell. Her right arm was completely limp at this point, the blackness which had started with her hand had spread upwards, now reaching past her elbow and towards her shoulder. It wouldn’t be long until it reached a more crucial part of her body. Rapunzel was walking way up ahead, her eyes on the horizon, she hurried as much as she could hoping the next town would come into view already so they could locate a doctor’s office and get Cassandra the help she needed. Rapunzel didn’t know what she’d do if things got worse.

Cassandra lay in the bed with the white sheets, her arm resting atop the sheets. Her arm didn’t even look like an arm at this point and the fact her breathing was so painful told her the blackness had reached her lungs. The past few days were a blur of pain and tears. Rapunzel was inconsolable, not even Eugene could calm her down. Right now Rapunzel was asleep in the chair to the left and Eugene was sitting to Cassandra’s right. He’d been annoyingly quiet these past few days, no bad jokes or stupid comments. Cassandra hated it, but she also understood. “Eugene,” she whispered. His eyes moved to meet hers. “Yes?” “If I don’t—” “Don’t.” Eugene’s eyes went wide, and he shook his head. Cassandra smiled. “Scared?” Eugene didn’t know what to respond. “Just… In case,” she whispered. “If I don’t make it, tell my father I love him, alright?” Eugene nodded.

The sun was rising and neither Eugene nor Rapunzel had managed a word more than ‘To the Captain of Corona’s Royal Guard’. How do you tell a man his daughter’s dead? Sending a letter felt wrong. But waiting for them to get home rather than tell him immediately felt worse. “How could this happen?” Rapunzel didn’t have an answer. “Two days ago she was fighting our enemies and now she’s gone.” “Magic…” Rapunzel whispered, her fingers going through her hair. “I guess… I guess it doesn’t just bring stuff back… Sometimes it takes stuff away.” She took a deep breath as tears ran down her face. “Eugene… This is all my fault.” “No, no, I agreed with you, we all did except Cassandra.” “But she was right.” “But it’s not all your fault. I could have sided with her. But I… I didn’t. I never sided with Cass.”

#ask answered

[wifegideonnav]

Okay, so I get that I think Tamsyn has said that while you can draw some clear parallels (Gideon is Female Dave, Harrow is Rose, Ianthe is Vriska), obviously Homestuck and TLT aren't one to one, in the same way that the two other big Would Not Exist Without Homestuck pieces of media, Kill Six Billion Demons and Undertale/Deltarune aren't one to one with it either. That being said. I would like to submit. Isaac is Tavros.

😭 that's so mean. to isaac. wtf.

i don't really see it but let me counter with:

babs is the tavros. obviously i've posted before about how his personality/aesthetic is similar to cronus ampora, but if you think about his relationship with ianthe, i feel like there's definitely some similarities to tavros and vriska.

now ianthe "being a vriska" is something i have a LOT of thoughts about, which i will. probably write out at some point. mainly, while they share surface level plot points and arm deficits, their motivations are very different. i've been holding off tho bc there's a lot we still don't know abt ianthe's motivations while the series is still unfinished. but in general, vriska is a child who has no idea what she's doing and just wants to be safe (although she thinks she wants to be important - and she does, but because she thinks that if she matters enough, she'll stop being vulnerable, both emotionally and physically), whereas ianthe clearly has some actual irons in the fire. (given what little we know about the tridentarii's parents and childhood, i could 100% see ianthe trying to protect herself in a similar way, but we just don't know enough to be sure.)

but to compare babs and tavros:

both the "some guy" wedged in between some very toxically codependent girlies

both killed (run through) with their own weapon by their counterpart in a mysterious facility during a very tense afternoon

you can't tell me that if it was relevant, vriska wouldn't be happy to chew on tavros (use his body for what she's trying to do)

both an intimate part of their counterpart's ascension, in opposite ways

that last point is the most interesting to me, because vriska's ascension involved her own death and ianthe's ascension involved babs's. vriska begged tavros to kill her, and he would not, leaving her to die alone and in pain, whereas ianthe had no qualms about killing babs. as we learn in the unwanted guest, babs's soul has had an effect on ianthe's - they are fusing, in a sense. compare that to the very brief existence of tavrissprite, whose constituent parts could not reconcile and merge. in the end, vriska has always been both obsessed and disgusted with tavros because the world has allowed him to be soft, and kind, and nonviolent - all things that she was never given the chance to be. whereas for ianthe and babs, they have always been fighting side by side, concealing corona's secret and managing third house high society.

so essentially, babs is a tavros who has been strong and active enough to both protect and support his counterpart. while ianthe killed babs because she needed power for whatever she has planned, and she is always going to prioritize coronabeth over anything and anyone else, she had no real beef with him and saw him as, if not an ally, then at least a means to an end whom she didn't mind being bitchy with in the meantime. meanwhile vriska killed tavros not out of necessity or duress, but because he had betrayed and abandoned her at her moment of greatest need and vulnerability, and then decided to be her enemy.

to be honest you didn't ask for any of this longass response lol but to be honester its my blog and i get to rant about vriska if i want 😌 i'd be interested to hear your case for why isaac reminds you of tavros tho! bc i seriously do not see it at this point lmao

#asks #hs

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, Thank you for all the insightful posts . I am an INTP and the Issue I am having now Is I am born in a third world country in a small town not economically thriving . A non democratic country that doesn't teach you anything of substance , the elite kids go to the west and we the poor people have to study in rote memorization and passing the exam and before we know it the aha moment of how weak we are hit harder .

I dropped out from university in order to medicate myself from tuberculosis , and then I get cured , and the corona virus lock-down happened and then my father died and my aunt died . All have effected me deeply . The money I have saved for future interviews was wasted . And Now I am definitely in a Si loop , stuck and sometimes my mind and daydreaming sends me to dark places , wishing death upon myself , wanting to just end it , imagining myself being angry and hitting someone and hitting his face with my feet . I truly have become unhealthy and destructive . Feeling guilty , imagining how I could have done it better .

I constantly feel worthless and think how useless I am and how I wish I was never born because I am not going to be amounted to anything ever . The home situation is unhealthy , I have always been belittled , made feel worthless , insinuated to feel bad about myself . I remember since I was a kid , never felt loved or cared for , just been reminded how odd , slow , in my head , and not going to be as much as good as whom ever they compare me with .

I have an unhealthy ESFJ mother who can't be reasoned with . Explosive , hot temper , not logical or cares about clear communication . Her and my sister are truly insecure . I will Explain a scenario , we are in a bad economical situations , my brother triggered her , she started lashing out on everyone , cursing and insulting how useless we are without hearing or having a communication . I left to my room till they stop , because I can't handle this anger and drama where we can fix them if we think through things but she doesn't want to think or communicate . She confuses communication with complaining because for her communication is only a vehicle to use to release her hostile feelings and passive aggressiveness .

When I come back , she said why did I run to my room . I said I can't handle screams and this chaotic production of words . She said , you should and they started her and my sister : ISFJ , speaking at the same time , like literally at the same time . I asked them one by one , she said No why not listen to us both at the same time . Like what a hell is this . Here you notice and many patterns I have that they don't care about fixing the problem , they don't care about reasonably indulging members of the family to a conclusion , they want to release the tension . My mother specifically wants to release her hostile emotions , she wants us to feel belittled , useless , tell us how she is the only one who thinks about this issue and how useless we are and she thinks this is parenting , she thinks this is leadership.

Now I know since my father died who was an ISFJ , He was our only economical support and he was dutiful and doing his best to get me into a position where I can take the family but even he had issues with her , she swallowed him through her drama , passive aggressiveness , and her hostile attitude , belittling him too and comparing his lack of privilege to others who had far more advantage as if he had a choice in the cards he was given . Since this economical shortage only enraged her and made something to complain about and our household was not of kindness and mercy , I subtracted my needs since way back but my brother still takes from her money and she gives him and she comes back to complain and ruins the household .

The reason I brought my father is I feel bad for not doing anything for him and what a shame that he had no one to help him . He really deserved better and needed more care and love and I always felt unable to do anything when he had cancer . He apologized for me as if he felt bad for not doing enough for me . My friend . I really think and have evidence that my mother and family are unhealthy . I live in illiterate religious area , how do you think Fe and Si expression would be ? -- They don't care about reason , just any high status man who has money or is religious or looks religious matter and his opinion is far better and I , could speak for years and no one would care .

I think she is unsafe and unhappy and her hypergamic instinct produces this passive aggressive tests because she thinks by belittling us , we are going to somehow be motivated to provide and replace my father . She doesn't understand how the Ukraine|Russian war affected us , how our government changed policies to hire more females , she doesn't understand that I can't just get a job , it's all difficult in this competitive environment and I just have lost 3 years where tuberculosis , Corona virus lock-down , death of my father and the shock and depression this made me feel and let alone her training me to feel worthless isn't going to make me more optimistic individual because I can't even film myself speaking in a content creation out of fear and being self conscious of my voice nor dreaming of being able to be loved and desired by any female in romantic relationships to get out of this toxic voice in my head that hammers me and find some refuge in lovely partner .

I know I am unhealthy too - -- I read your study guides and my functions are all unhealthy and I could release the anger and hit someone or could not be able to contain myself and verbally defend myself if I get triggered . I am still studying to find a way to improve and optimally express all my functions but please with the contexts I have provided . How can you help me find answers to this following questions :

How can I remove this worthlessness and feeling I am useless from my mind and how I perceive myself ?

How can I trust that I would be able to get a job in this country and town ? I have limited skills like English and my native language because of time that was wasted ? [ I am planning to use the 4 Hour work week principle that prioritizes Te and Ni for effectiveness , working on skills to learn , 20/80 Analysis , low information diet , delegation and automation , and creating a product to sell to liberate myself from traditional 9 to 5 ] - I don't work in 9 to 5 Jobs . I Don't have any job now .

How can I deal with this toxic mother and her hostile attitude and her inability to be satisfied ? .

How I can heal the wounds that this mother infected me with since I speak to myself a lot and I get lost in my thoughts and she notices and doesn't try to understand , she tries to insult and belittles and laughs at me as if i am some crazy dude . It's the only place I feel safe and I have no friends and my mother doesn't talk to me except to release her tension , so I opt to my head and this had negative affects because my thoughts swallow me and I become self absorbed and any one notices I am speaking to myself and lost it . I do that because I am unhealthy , broke , unemployed , no job , and no healthy environment to drive me and give me help .

Do You think since I am unhealthy , I would waste time reading and consuming information about the study guide as some unhealthy coping mechanism and I should better opt to just exercise a few Ne Activities to drive myself out of my self and subjective narrative and my family and explore few experiments rather than read every detail and wait till I finish to exercise my functions ? Like see how Ne world is good and come back to reflect .

-----------------------

1. "Feelings" of worthlessness or uselessness are simply judgments (about yourself). In order for judgments to be sound, one must arrive at the conclusions properly, through logic and reason. This is the basis of having good critical thinking skills.

For instance, you say you "fell behind" in career goals due to physical illness. Was the illness intentionally caused by you or was it under your control? If not, should you hold yourself responsible for the consequences of being ill? Are you going to call every physically ill person in the world worthless/useless because, through no fault of their own, they have diminished capacity to achieve their goals? If so, I see no difference between you and your mother when it comes to the way you harshly and unfairly judge people.

Are you exercising good critical thinking when you make a judgment or draw a conclusion? If not, you need to improve upon it, in order for Ti to regain control over your cognition. You must have a reliable process of scrutinizing and validating your belief system, otherwise, on what basis are you going to make good decisions for yourself? When Ti is absent, Fe grip will keep haunting you.

2. Trusting the world comes with Ne development. It means venturing out into the world. It means trying and experimenting and seeing what happens. It means going to wherever the opportunities are. It means thinking of ways to make the best use of what you have. It means turning the negative into a net positive.

In other words, Ne is an extraverted function that requires initiative, ingenuity, and action. Ne is not about your predictions of the future; it's about making things happen. You can always find something good to express gratitude for. You can always find a silver lining in a negative situation. You can always visualize potential for change and improvement. But the key is to have an attitude of openness that keeps your eyes and ears attuned to opportunity. Are you nurturing Ne openness in yourself, or are you quick to reject ideas because they are "imperfect"? Whether things are perfect or imperfect is missing the point. The point is that things can be changed as long as you're willing to put in the work to change them.

3. The answer is boundaries. I've already written about the difficulty of drawing healthy boundaries in family relationships, especially parent-child relationships, consult past posts. Because there is so much history and, in some cases, so much bad blood between family members, it's easy to get stuck in negative patterns of behavior, and very difficult to change them even when you want to. Old habits are hard to break.

I always say that an essential aspect of growing up is learning how to view your parents as human beings rather than treating them as mere symbols of your personal ego drama. Was your father a "saint"? Is your mother a "villain"? These are symbols that reveal the flaws and biases of your perception. In the end, your parents are simply people. Every person is multifaceted. If you only ever see one aspect of someone, your eyes need adjustment.

Put yourself in your mother's shoes. Your mother also lives in the bleak sociopolitical environment you live in, with few economic opportunities. She has also experienced disappointments and heartbreaks. She has also had her hopes and dreams dashed. You share a lot more in common with her than you believe. To be clear, this is not meant to be an excuse for her negative behavior but, rather, a call for you to exercise empathy.

When you get a deeper understanding of why people behave as they do, you will be less inclined to blame and more inclined to maintain healthy relationship boundaries. The key to dealing with toxic people is to maintain proper emotional distance from them, rather than getting entangled with them and constantly embroiled in their dramas. To have healthy relationships in general, you must i) know the difference between "my business" and "not my business", and ii) stop involving yourself in things that aren't your business.

Her issues and problems are hers, so don't take them on as yours. It's not your responsibility to satisfy her demands. It's not your responsibility to live up to her expectations of you. Your only responsibility, in moral terms, is simply to be a good person. This raises an important question of whether you understand what it means to be "good". Do you have your own ideas about it or do you default to what your family taught you, since your judgments about yourself closely echo your mother's judgments about you?

Do you know what intergenerational trauma is? It's when families transmit the negative effects of unresolved hurt, pain, suffering, abuse, and trauma from one generation to the next. You are now consumed by pain and anger, not unlike your mom, so are you going to unwittingly transmit it to everyone you come into contact with? Or are you going to be the one to stop the cycle of trauma by taking responsibility for your pain and suffering? By seeking help, you're proving that you care enough to change the situation. I understand that your options are limited for healing your pain and trauma, so I will focus mainly on what you can do on your own.

4. With regard to Anger: If you don't want to end up like your mother, hurting everyone around her, then you have to confront the pain, you have to soothe the anger properly, and you have to challenge yourself to do things differently. This is achieved through Ne. Envision your better self and be it. Envision a better life and live it. Envision more possibilities and bring good ideas to life. By training your mind to be focused on always building something better, there is little space remaining for things like anger and blame.

I completely agree that your family environment is incredibly toxic. However, I cannot agree with blame. Blame is a mental trap. It is an immature and illusory way to feel strong and powerful. It only leaves you worse off physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. For all the sound and fury that blame entails, at the end of the day, you remain in pain because you've trapped yourself in perpetual victimhood. Without adequate health and well-being, will you have the mental energy you require for improving yourself and your life?

You can't have it both ways; you can't feed the negative aspects of your psyche and still hope to get back in touch with the positive aspects of yourself. Is the anger worth sacrificing your health and well-being for? Are you attached to the anger because you like the self-righteousness or because you want revenge? If so, you are choosing the negative over the positive, and you must take full responsibility for that choice. If you don't like it, choose differently.

With regard to Despair: When you feel angry, it means that something is broken and requires fixing. In this case, the relationship is broken and your boundaries have been violated. Like any reasonable person, you hope it can be fixed and the love salvaged. However, when confronted with the impossibility of fixing the relationship, despair follows.

Many people get held back and held down by despair because it can feel like a safer emotion than hope. Why? Despair is predictable in that you can maintain the status quo of known pain, whereas hope opens you up to new and accumulative hurt and disappointment through trying and failing again and again. As soon as sinking into despair seems like the better option to you, you are stuck deep in Si loop.

A person with good emotional intelligence doesn't succumb to emotions, rather, they take time to understand them and use them wisely. By putting despair in the right perspective, it can become an incredibly powerful emotion. Despair indicates you've suffered great loss and feel hopeless. However, in order to feel the loss, you must've placed great value on something to begin with. From this perspective, despair can open your eyes to what is most precious and valuable in your life. For example, despair over family conflict reveals how much you value your family, and despair about your career reveals how much you value your future self. When you know what you value most, it's easier to make good decisions for your well-being.

Despair is meant to teach you how to let go of the things you've lost. Oftentimes, people suffer because they are too attached to the things that bring them pain. Being unable to give up the attachment, they must bear the pain as a consequence. Logically, if you don't want the pain of despair, you must let go of the attachments that bring you despair.

Some people might misinterpret "letting go" as license to "detach" from the world and live on a metaphorical island, abandoning all the things they don't like. Quite the contrary. These people have failed the first test of emotional intelligence because they believe that their emotions are caused by external factors, so they try to cut out those factors.

The fact is that your feelings and emotions belong to you. They are generated by you, therefore, it is up to you to either answer them or change them. Your feelings are closely tied to your beliefs about the world, the way you think about things, and the way you judge things. When I say that you need to "let go", it means you have to change the way you think, give up old ideas, so that your beliefs better line up with your new reality. When you let go of mental attachments that distort your view of reality, you become much more capable of participating in reality. You will no longer feel bound and trapped by your own imagined expectations of how the world "should" be.

Career Example: Have you heard the saying "The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry"? No matter how well you plan things, unexpected accidents or misfortunes still happen. While it's good to have plans and look forward to achieving goals, it's not good to be so single-minded that you are incapable of adapting to change. When plans go awry, you are encountering a crossroads and have to make a decision about which way to go. Do you try to keep going with the same plan? Do you tweak and adjust the plan to better suit the change of circumstances? Do you abandon the old plan and come up with a new one? These are all possible strategies.

Family example: Do you understand that a toxic relationship dynamic requires two people to keep it going? Both you and your mother are attached to ideal images of how the other "should" be. By imposing these images upon each other, you are both failing to respect each other, you are both violating the boundary that should exist between you as separate and independent individuals, and you are both hurting each other with harsh judgments and criticisms. While you might keep your judgments and criticisms to yourself more than she does, their very existence represents something negative within you that wants to lash out and be violent. She most likely inherited that violence from her family growing up and she has now transmitted it to you, which means it is now yours to deal with. All of us have inherited some negative things from family. It's part of your personal journey of growth to become aware of them and change them.

To a certain extent, you "allow" your mother to hurt you because you love her. If she were anyone else, you probably would've abandoned them long ago for such nasty behavior, or you wouldn't even be bothered by their criticism. Your mother's behavior brings you pain because you want her approval and love. However, if you were to drop your attachment to what you believe she "should" be (e.g. a loving, nurturing, motherly saint), you may suddenly find yourself capable of seeing the reality of what she is. When you take time to see and understand people more objectively (i.e. practice empathy), you won't take their behavior so personally. The reality is that her behavior isn't directed at you. Her behavior is an expression of her own pain and suffering, directed at her own failures and dashed hopes. But you take it personally because she's failing to meet your expectations of her, and then you fashion her into a villain. Think more reasonably: If you believe you ought to have the freedom to be you, you also have to grant others the freedom to be who they are.

The takeaway point is that the way through despair is to let go of the attachments that bring you pain. It could be attachment to an idealized image of how people/you "should" be, an ideal concept of "meaning", or an ideal path that you have set for your life. Ideals are mere mental constructs, so they can be changed at will. You defined them, so you can "undefine" them and redefine them. Attachments that lead you to deny reality are like a black hole in your mind, sucking up all your mental energy. By letting them go, your mind becomes truly free for something new. But you have to be brave enough to leave the known behind and venture into the unknown with fresh eyes, open mind, and different choices -> Ne.

5. I don't consider it my place to tell people how to live their life. You need to learn how to exercise your best judgment, which means ensuring that your process of making decisions is fair, impartial, objective and well-informed. In terms of your mental health, it's a good idea for you to get out of the home as much as possible, away from your mother's abuse. Try to find safer spaces to explore your ideas and possibilities. Try to engage in activities, interests, or hobbies that bring you some relief, even joy. Try to make friends with people who can bring you comfort or help you out of your situation.

#intp #auxiliary ne #si loop #fe grip #parent child relationship #family #boundaries #blame #anger #despair #adaptability #hope #emotional intelligence #ask

[nishloves]

my rant

tw: talks about weight increase, low self-esteem, moderate anxiety, procrastinating tendencies. this is also extremely long.

i just really need to talk/vent about it.

the worst part about being a "casual" gamer is, you never know when you might get addicted with it. i play genshin and CoD, while cod doesn't interest me as much anymore and i only ever played genshin for like twice a month but recently- genshin has been taking over lol, i played 3 hours of genshin alone yesterday and mind you- i've already finished all the archon (main) quests and i'm still playing it!!! (this is called procrastination)

and this is not just limited to computer games no, i once was obsessed with aerobics gymnastics and was practising it all around my house (before corona struck and i physically became unable to do many tricks cue *decreasing flexibility/strength/stamina and everything after i got sick. after aerobics, my hyper-fixation was basketball and i would play it for around 2-3 hours everyday, my body slowly started getting better and my love for sports and gym was ignited again but then i entered into the senior year of my school and i had to inevitably focus more on my studies because i still can't see myself being an athlete/sportsperson even though i really love sports.

now, i was a science major in my high-school (my core were - phy, chem and bio) and i had always been a hardworker but i started getting burnt out, the more i strayed away from staying active and being fit, the more of couch potato i became. i somehow started studying nicely again, but got corona in sept.2022 and was on bedrest for two weeks, my schedule was a mess again. during that time, it were only my high-school extracurriculars (anchoring, debating, basketball, student council) which were keeping me happy along with a few friends (who in future became insecure of everything i was doing and shut me off by calling me "fake", that shit hurt.) and because i had missed 2 weeks of school and was already behind the syllabus by myself because of improper time management, so i developed anxiety- i only realised this after i had a mental breakdown in school for 2 minutes which i wasn't able to control instantly. (my anxiety is moderate and i don't need any medicines for it- i just need to keep my schedule productive and avoid procrastination.) i realised that i was quite behind and that i needed to do something so i did, i shut myself off and studied for 3 months without any outside exposure or anything- but that made me gain weight, from a 54kg 5'7 girl, i went on to a 68kg and because i got sick just immediately after, my weight increased to 70kgs. now, don't get me wrong- i love my body, i still like the way i look but, i don't feel healthy and i don't think you can understand how nerve-wrecking it is for a person who could run 5km without a worry pant after 500m. it was really... and i mean really heart-braking, more than my weight gain, it was my inability to do anything which made me more and more insecure about myself.

my anxiety, my newly acquired low self-esteem were adding fuel to my already procrastinating tendencies.

now. that is the main issues- i am a procrastinator, and for some reason i'm unable to fully get out of it and i get even more anxious when my days are going unproductive which they are!

i didn't score bad in my high-school finals, my scores of normal college entrance exams were good enough to fetch me into a top 3 college of our nation for b.sc but- i didn't want that. even though all my other exams went well, i seriously fucked up my medical entrance examination. i thought to take a drop year but im seriosuly scared because i don't think i did anything fruitful this year and i just feel like i wasted an year of my life and my main exams are in 4 months and im really really getting stressed out because the selection rate is only the top 1-2% among 2 million applicants, talk about competition lmao.

see, i am aware that i can do it, i don't know if it is arrogance or optimism but i know that if i really do give it all- my blood, sweat and tears and everything- i know that i'll do better, i will be able to score enough to get a medical college- but the thing is, i feel like i am scared to start and i don't want to be.

i want to- i need to work hard to better than my present-self, i need to work out to get my stamina, strength and flexibility back. and even if i fail- i atleast worked hard, i just don't want to regret anything which i am doing, i need to get out of this slump and i need to convince myself to get up and atleast try everyday. because i seriously seriously think that regret is probably the worst emotion you could feel and i don't want to spend my life regretting my decisions.

i just- had to get it off my chest lol. thankyou for reading this all.

i promise you, i'll be a great doctor one day and will clear this exam with every courage i am able to muster.

i guess... that is all? have a nice day and take care of yourself!

#nish interacts #nish talks #nish rants #nishloves

[yooniesim]

So i follow(ed) zhuhaitang and you both and he's been off his rocker for days tbh I'm not sure who's whispered in his ear, talking him into believing attacking your server was a good idea, i'm not on discord. because honestly the corona joke was stupid of you but it doesn't seem to be your original idea just something you mindlessly repeated and everyone on his blog is throwing it way out of proportion. AND i remember your story with the two sims you based off kpop idols and it was... nothing really just kind of childish i guess and maybe a bit weird, BUT all his receipts in general are..... so bland not in a "drama" way but in a "I can't take it that someone is enforcing a personal boundary that doesn't include me in their space" or "i hate it when we are not about me" or literally anything that wouldn't have had either of you stressing your holidays away? You don't need to post this or anything but I'm sorry for both of you having to go through this, espeically him because he seems really freaked that he couldn't actually handle being called out for his? hypocracy i guess

Thanks for this anon! Yes, that joke was stupid as hell, that's what I get for mindlessly parroting a stupid ass meme like a moron lmfao. I should've known it would've been twisted out of context, like everything else I've said. And yeah, I had kpop sims and played em like dolls, and yeah, I still cringe when I think about it- but such is life, right? None of this had to be like this and I honestly wish he had stopped ranting like three days ago when I still felt mildly sorry for the guy. I'm not surprised the 20 year old minor stalker association is blowing it out of proportion bc they have raging hard-ons for anything I do or say... it's a little disturbing but i'm somewhat used to it by now and I honestly don't care. I've had enough time to realize that they're going to say the most outrageous shit about me but like... fortunately, it doesn't matter one bit. Like what do they think, they're gonna call me names and I'm gonna keel over or some shit? Is my presence going to spontaneously explode off the internet? Am I gonna lose a couple followers? Like so what. Like I care about being blocked or unfollowed by anyone anymore. I already have half of simblr blocked or vice versa lol. They bring up the same shit every two months and call me the same things... and a few more if they can manage to out-do their previous vileness... and I just stay just the same as I am and carry on as I like. Just cos they say something about me doesn't make it true. They can say whatever they like at this point. But it was funny bc after I posted about my dad passing away I was like, how much you wanna bet that weird crowd is gonna start poking at me about something stupid again? And it was like god damn clockwork, within a day or two they were starting this silly thing up lmfao.

Anyway, thank you for the empathy nonny. Idk who told him this was a good idea either because it certainly was not. Not at all.

#asks #anonymous #ceci speaks #long post #negative #kinda #just for ppl that block that tag for drama related stuff #thanks for following me this long even to the cringe kpop days off #should i bring them back??? #...thats a joke #sorry u had to see that lmfao

[all-was-not-well]

Coronabeth and Ianthe vs Cain and Abel

Alright I'm sure that someone else has already said this and they probably said it better but it's been a month since I read Harrow the Ninth and this theory is still rattling around in my head. Here we go.

The pronunciation guide in the back of GtN notes that Coronabeth and Ianthe were originally named Cainabeth and Abella, but Muir changed it because she felt like it was too simplistic and/or obvious. This bugged the hell out of me for two reasons. 1. Cainabeth is clearly where she got Coronabeth, which is weird because Ianthe does all the killing, and 2. The two of them are actually a pretty striking inversion of that story.

The most famous line from the myth of Cain and Abel comes when God asks Cain where Abel is, and Cain says "Am I my brother's keeper?" Now this is about thirty seconds after Cain committed the world's first ever murder, and he's trying to avoid telling God about it, implying that he knows what he did was wrong, even if he can't admit it to himself.

The moral of the story (at least the way I was taught), is that yes, you are responsible for your fellow man. You are meant to protect and cherish the people around you, not hurt them.

God punishes Cain by cursing him to be a wanderer, removing him completely from society and the ability to form any meaningful relationships with other people, because he rejected his responsibility to protect the person closest to him.

This is fucked up on a number of levels, but the point I'm trying to hit on here is that Ianthe is the inverse of Cain. She constantly rejects her responsibility towards other people with the sole exception of Corona.

Ianthe has been maintaining the work of two necromancers since she was six years old, to keep the two of them from being separated. She's the first person at Canaan House to figure out the true price of Lyctorhood, and though the exact moment of that discovery is never specified, I've always read it as being before the tabletop duel, where she establishes that she's the one who controls Naberius, not Corona. And she's going to need to be able to control him, because she needs to kill and devour him if she wants to avoid killing and devouring Corona. Not killing and devouring people doesn't seem to be on the table, but that's another post in its entirety

Her response to Harrow suggesting that Corona's dead is to mutilate Harrow's hand.

I wrote the main body of this essay while waiting for my copy of Nona the Ninth to come in, but if anything their reunion in that book just proves my point. Ianthe made herself her sister's keeper when she was six years old, and she's willing to do almost anything to continue that role.

#Ianthe tridentarius #Ianthe the first #coronabeth tridentarius #crown him with many crowns #the tridentarii #the locked tomb #tlt #Gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #technically also #nona the ninth #thing's I'm gonna be a terrible little English major about #intertextuality #lit tag #erin rambles #meta

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 17 of Nona the Ninth

So I notice now that the image for Chapter 16 appears to be a tower, possibly to go with the "Tower Princes" and the tower that is mentioned in the numbers on the John chapters? And this chapter has a stem and a leaf, which I do not know the significance of

So Palamedes thinks that Pyrrha has gone to report to the barracks and claim amnesty? You know, I'm honestly not sure what the best course of action for her at this point - she is not on good terms with BOE and has no reason to be loyal to them other than to help Camilla and Palamedes and the Sixth House, and it seems likely that the Sixth House is going to wind up back with the Nine Houses at some point, whether that's because John makes some kind of deal with BOE, or because he figures out where they are independently. I can't imagine that BOE would like, kill the Sixth House if Camilla or Pyrrha defect or anything like that, because it's their bargaining chip, isn't it? But who knows what Ianthe and John would think about Pyrrha being alone in G1deon's body, and she can't exactly pretend to be a necromancer

Also, I'm not sure why Corona would have known about the broadcast, it doesn't sound like BOE knew anything about it, and it doesn't seem like she would be talking to anyone from the Nine Houses

I don't know what this means. Pyrrha didn't really seem interested in the shuttle earlier

Is he saying that they want Harrow specifically so that she can open the Tomb for them?

Camilla and Palamedes' recorded conversation continues to be terrible. So I guess this is how they "talk" to each other, they record themselves on the tape recorder and play it back. Something I note here is that in the past Nona has claimed that it's difficult to understand recorded speech because she can't see the mouth of the person who said it, but she doesn't seem to have any trouble understanding this recording, possibly because she actually knows House and isn't relying on telepathy to understand it

British slang:

Did Palamedes not have the decency to warn Camilla about this? Haha

So I gather that Lemuria was a planet that got flipped over time. The Angel says that the Houses "said they'd prep us for an early move", so they were already planning to relocate the population, or they were expecting the planet to flip, but it happened sooner than they expected? In Harrow the Ninth, Harrow says that it takes "generations" for a planet to flip, but like, that's not actually that much time, that could be as little as like 50 or 60 years, so I can see why people are being constantly resettled, and I can't imagine how many planets they've killed over the course of 10,000 years. And then I guess the Houses can still still use the planet for some stuff even after it's no longer habitable, so it's not like they only get 50-60 years use out of it, since I gather they don't care about the native inhabitants much

But I think Palamedes should know this already, right? It sounds like BOE had been telling a lot of it to Corona at least during As Yet Unsent

It's funny, because she is right... but I'm still curious why Palamedes and Ianthe-in-Naberius's body are unaffected by the resurrection beast if, as stated in the first book, there's nothing physically different about a necromancer's body compared to a non-necromancer's except relative exposure to thanergy

I gather at some point we are going to wind up in Hot Sauce's hideout

How is she marking them if she can't read or write?

I have no idea what a "yeast berry" might be and I'm not able to find anything about any such thing

I looked back at what Nona drew during the last day at school, but it just says that she drew what she thought animals should look like. Actually, what animals would Harrow or Gideon actually have seen? Are there any animals on the Ninth? I'm really not sure there are. Gideon knows what mayonnaise is so presumably they get eggs from somewhere, but I'm just not seeing them actually raising chickens on Pluto. She also does know what meat is, just not fish. But I don't think we've seen any animals in this story at all except for that one time when Harrow went to kill that one planet. I don't know what animals Nona could draw that would get this reaction from the Angel

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth