#and like i was 12 and 12yos are Like That sometimes but like i selfharmed and considered killing myself it was bad it sucked

[pcktknife]

honest to god cant tell if i was emotionally abused or some shit or if i just have a victim complex

#abuse is such a strong word but god thats not how ur supposed to treat people right #ill never forget i had a mental breakdown over some shit w my grandparents and i heard my grandmother talking about it over the phone... #w somebody and she said ' she acts likes living here was the worst thing thats ever happened to her' and i think about that all the time #cause like yeah thats exactly what i think #i dont remember much of anything before living here like my main memories start when i moved here and it sucked #i had my first panic attack admittedly over smth stupid at the time i thought my family hated me #and like i was 12 and 12yos are Like That sometimes but like i selfharmed and considered killing myself it was bad it sucked #I was finally getting away from that 'ur a gifted kid ' shit too #and id just moved for what the 4th 5th time to a new place completely #when i got out this house i was so happy.nervous but happy.i had my own room and was with ppl i felt cared even if it was for a bit. #and i mean i went through shit then too but i guess it didnt feel family induced? i blame my family for so much but it feels weird to... #to blame them even though i cant take responsibilty for anything anyway #ignore this holy shit i did not mean to vent lmao #vent #self harm ment #suicide ment #kenan.txt