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#and like…. I’m asexual so I’m not really looking for a relationship idk
spookymoonie · 4 months
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Is it possible to like reading the smuttiest of smut (I mean daddy kinks and exhibitionism and bdsm and all that jazz) and be on the a-spectrum. I’m having yet another sexuality crisis and I’m super confused now lmao
i'm not too informed on the intersectionality of a-spec, kink, sex, and attraction.
but in my uninformed stance, i say that sex, kink, and attraction are all very different things that play around with each other in strange and wonderful combinations.
fuck., i really should not be answering this. i have too much platform for a stupid lego person...
myself as an example:
i'm asexual. i'm transgender. i love fandom. i like kink. i'm sex indifferent.
attraction:
i do not see strangers and think, 'fuckable.' like that's just not something i experience. sometimes it gets grey and i question it because i'm like, 'i like his arse. i'm staring at his arse. i kinda wanna slap it. oh shit, am i allo??' but because i'm not immediately like, 'i wanna have sex with him' because of his arse is nice, i think that means i must be a lil a-spec-y afterall. it's kind of like admiring a really nicely curved piece of wood. like, it's round, it's sanded, it's smooth, sometimes i might even wanna touch it, but ultimately, it's aesthetic. it's aesthetically pleasing, i enjoy it, but no. i do not want to fuck the woodwork. i just wanna look at it and appreciate it and maybe get a lil tactile and touch it. (which helps, bc i'm sex-indifferent and not repulsed, so i feel comfy engaging in tactile shit.)
fandom:
sometimes i do get hot & bothered by fics. because it's fictional. because these characters are only real in my head. because sometimes when i read characters i love, i don't even see their faces. i'm absorbed in the emotion, the power dynamics, the words, and hyperfocused on what these smut scenes mean for them as people in this relationship i'm so fucking unhealthily obessed with. because I have an emotional connection to my two loser blorbos, i'm into their sexy hijinks. and maybe that means i'm a lil demisexual? idk grey-ace again. but i don't like boxing myself in. i don't like limiting myself, and i will say that i don't like limiting my fantasy either. fantasy is for me, in my head. i don't have to justify it or explain it to anyone. it just is. kinda like how thoughts are just thoughts. there is no bad thought or good thought. it's just random---sometimes intrusive, sometimes bizarre and so out-of-fucking-pocket---thoughts. and when we stop reading into our thoughts like it's a window to our moral soul, the act of existing gets a helluva lot easier.
identity:
for a while before i realized i was genderfluid/genderqueer masc-leaning, i was becoming increasingly gender dysphoric with my vagina and boobs (RIP titties, wherever you are now<3), my voice, my long hair, all my softness, etc. i couldn't read smut with she/her pronouns or fem-presenting people in it. and i've unpacked that as me having bad gender dysphoria and internalized whatever plus baggage with my own secondary sex characteristics because it was involuntarily bringing ME into the scenario along with my blorbos. but as i began to be more comfortable in my own body, identity, and expression, i found i could read lesbian smut again, or even het smut because reading people with the same moving parts as me, with higher voices, or long hair, etc. doesn't make me identify with it. i can separate my blorbos who have or had the same parts as me from me. (a lot of transBlorbo smut fics helped me with this<3) why did i share this? my a-spec experience is that is AS SOON AS *i'm* involved in the scenario, i'm immediately out of it. mood killed. fantasy gone. don't want to be involved. nope. time to wash the dishes. i'm cool with my blorbos doing it, but not me. kinda like how some people can't separate themselves from the OC-Reader when reading reader fics. some people get passed the 'you', some people get rly uncomfortable with the 'you.' so me being so prone to identifying with fem blorbos brought me into the fantasy, and that in turn, killed the fantasy.
(but now i'm chill with my body and identity, so i can happily read fem blorbos again without triggering the 'Me' in the scenario.)
kink:
i think sex and kink are separate things. idk, others might disagree. to ME, sex is sex. (and sex should always be consensual and respectful. just sprinkling that in there.) and kink is a whole world, culture, and system of respect and trust (that's the way i feel good about anyway) again, in my uninformed opinion, "daddy/mommy" kink, BDSM, and exhibitionism seems like it has a lot to do with lending power and control but also reclaiming and exercising it, too. like to me, consenting in a daddy kink scenario is exercising power by laying out the rules, by telling their partner, "okay. you are Daddy. i am your Baby." but then it's so cool because after exercising their power to put down boundaries (and vise versa, Daddy's got a list of 'yes' and 'no's too) it's like Baby is lending power to Daddy because he then gets to make the decisions on how to treat, spoil, discipline, whatever his Baby. and then they can bring sex into the situation, they can make it sexual. but the Daddy kink doesn't feel inherently sexual to me. it feels like a power dynamic and trust exercise tbh... and with BDSM. i would hope that it's laid out ahead of time of what's red, what's green, how to safeword, ways to communicate other than just verbal cues. otherwise, that just screams bad situation to me. but a good consensual, crystal fucking clear boundaries situation---that's a lot of trust right there. and then the sado-masochism, giving and receiving pain can be sexual, but i feel like it can also just be sensation? idk it's like when people go to the gym and work tf outta themselves after a bad day. like, a lot of tricky chemical-y things are going on in your body. i feel like it can be stress relief. sometimes it's relieving to be the one administering the spanking, too. and then that can circle back to the Daddy kink if you try hard enough. (it's pushing endurance, testing physical limits, but as long as it's on consensual terms, i don't see anything wrong with it.) and exhibitionism, i've never participated in it, but i imagine the thrill of being caught or maybe the thrill of being actually watched is exciting (so maybe some good brain chemical-y things happening again) BUT ultimately, vulnerable. exhibitionism has always struck me as an act of vulnerability because you are opening up your experiences to be perceived and interpretted by other people whose reactions are outside of your control. now bring sex into that. it's now a sexual thing. but for a moment when i was explaining it, it didn't sound inherently sexual again, right?
in summary:
(attraction) do i want to fuck him, or do i just appreciate his aesthetic/look/outfit/body/etc.?
(fandom/identity) do i want to have sex right now, or do i want to read blorbos exploring more sides of their own characters, each other's characters, and/or their relationship in all its facets right now?
(kink) do i want to be Baby, or do i want Blorbo#1 be Baby right now? do i want to be someone's Daddy, or do i just want to see how Blorbo#2 reacts as Daddy?
and i think you can answer any of these questions in any combination of ways. because there is no one-size-fits-all here. it's a "spec."
thing is, most allosexual people don't have crises about this stuff, my deer. it can be an indicator that some queer shit is going on if you're up in your head about it. and the way your ace-ness manifests may change depending on the time of day, season, fucking hormones, relationship, crushes, how you identify, what fandoms you're into, etc.. there's a lot of factors, and like i said, boxing yourself into something and making yourself uncomfortable
with definitions and labels that someone else created so they felt comfort
is doing yourself a disservice.
i think sex and kink work very well together, but i think they can exist as separate entities, too. and when you work attraction into it, you can see there's no clear cut way to categorize these things. it's not even grey. it's colourful. it's a whole spectrum of colour with different brightenesses and fifty versions and hues of 'blue.'
but i'm really just an unqualified lego with too much platform and should stick to my shitty porn.
but i hope breaking this shit down helps you in some way, even if that means presenting more questions to ask yourself. but asking yourself questions is the best way to get to know yourself.
and anyone who says they have themselves figured out completely is a fucking liar<3
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our-aroace-experience · 4 months
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so Idk if I actually am or not because my brain does this thing sometimes where my hormones go ‘wee-ooh-wee-ooh’ and set off false alarms but potentially a little bit in love with my best friend but like not enough to want to ruin our friendship because she likes this boy and I’m happy for her and don’t really think I’m jealous or anything so like talked to her and decided I’ll just try to not to let it ruin our friendship and just let it die on its own if its real at all. But now questioning whether I’m still aroace? Cuz like no other label feels quite right to me? And the type of relationship I sometimes think I want in the future doesn’t feel quite like a normal relationship in that way? Idk man.
if aroace feels right, you can always stick with that, but you could also look into oriented aroace or angled aroace if you want something more specific! good luck!
oriented aroace- being 100% aromantic and asexual, but feeling other forms of attraction, like platonic or aesthetic, in a way that’s important to your identity
angled aroace- when you are on both the aro and ace spectrums but not necessarily 100% of either & you feel other forms of attraction in a way that’s important to your identity
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altruistic-meme · 2 days
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Okay i was originally going to try to make a nice and neat little post about heartstopper and some of my thoughts, as well as a separate post about what i like about the comics vs. the tv show. 
Uh. So. I can’t actually corral my thoughts to be coherent enough for that, so here are some various assorted thoughts about it all instead <3 put under a cut bc it is long and rambley and a mess
[spoiler warning for the comics if you haven't read them]
Idk what it is, but I love comic Charlie a LOT. Like. A LOT a lot. There is just something about his character in the comics, his banter, the way he behaves that I love so much more in the comics than the show. I feel almost like the characters aren’t quite the same person, though I do love them both. I just connected so much more with comic Charlie.
Semi-related but I also feel like we get a much more clear picture of his OCD and the attached anxieties in the comics. 
HMMM okay or maybe not. Idk. I think maybe we can see more of Charlie’s OCD in the show through his desire to make everything easy and perfect for Nick, even when it hurts him too. 
He’s popular in the comics!!! It’s mentioned multiple times by other characters that Charlie is popular at school!!! And I think that’s actually a really interesting look at his character. He was bullied for most of y9 and yet the rugby lads think he’s a popular kid in y10. Despite this, we don’t actually see Charlie interacting with basically anyone but the other main characters, and I think that kind of reflects how Charlie views himself. On the way back from Paris, he asks Nick “does this mean I’m a cool kid now?” he doesn’t think people see him as cool but like I said, other characters have said he’s popular. They must have gotten that idea from SOMEWHERE right? But Charlie’s own poor self-esteem means he still doesn’t actually believe he’s cool or that people like him. I don’t know if there was a point to this rant but. Charlie is a popular boy.
I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE KIDS WHO STOPPED THE BULLYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, in the comics Charlie really is a nerd in a way he isn’t in the show. He helps Nick with his math and yells at him for distracting him from his homework. I get why this change happened in the show–it gives us a better idea of the strained relationship that Charlie has with his mom while also showing us that his dad tries to support him but often fails–but I really like it in the comics because Nick calls him a nerd but it’s less obvious in the show how nerdy he really is. 
That said obviously I also ADORE getting to explore the other characters and their lives and everything in the show. I love getting to see more of them. (But I also love how we DON’T always get all the information in the comics, but that’s just because I love when there are background stories happening that we don’t see through the main storyline. This event/love is not unique to Heartstopper) 
I love Imogen!!! I really like that it’s showing her as someone who is sort trying to become friends with the group and that isn’t always a fast or easy process. She goes to the sleepover with them and she hangs out with them in Paris, but she’s doesn’t leave Prom with them or anything. Also, I love the possibility that she is discovering that she’s queer too!! And that her halfway joining of their friend group leads to her discovering herself bc i feel like that’s so true to real life.
I am so curious about the Isaac vs. Aled thing and I wonder if Aled will appear in one of the later seasons, or if he is just not in the show at all. And Isaac! I assume he’s in some extra content I haven’t seen? Don’t get me wrong ofc, I love Isaac and his storyline is SO SO IMPORTANT as someone who is asexual myself. I am so glad that there is the representation of someone discovering that they’re aroace. I do assume that’s part of the reason for him being the 4th friend as opposed to Aled? Idk. 
I’M SO SAD ABOUT OLIVER BEING COMPLETELY OMITTED FROM THE SHOW!!! I assume there is an interview or something where Alice Oseman explains why Oliver wasn’t in the show, but I haven’t seen it and rn I will simply cry about it. I love him and I wish he had been included. 
I am also SO CURIOUS how the rest of the show will look!! I know that I read somewhere that s3 should be the contents of book 4, and that s4/s5 if they get them would be books 5/6 respectively. And I’m so intrigued. Because book 4 is the heaviest of them all so far, and I wonder how it will be translated to the screen. Especially the Sept-Dec timeskip! Will we see that time, especially considering the other character’s storylines??? This wasn’t an issue in the comics since they focus solely on Nick/Charlie, but with all of the other characters it would be more difficult to just skip that whole time. Will it just be a summary of events like in the comics, with flashes to what has happened? Or will we get a more explicit idea of everything?? (probably not including Charlie’s sh relapses or the night in October, but maybe the This Winter content???) i am SO excited for October though so all my questions can be answered :’)
OH something that was super interesting to me was a very small change in dialogue during the scene where Charlie first tells Nick about his sh. In the show, when Nick asks if he still does it Charlie just says “No.” but in the comics he says “No! I mean- hardly ever” and it’s such a small change but it speaks volumes too in the difference between the comic and the show. I’m not really sure what it’s saying though. Was show Charlie just more consistently in a better place where he feels like it’s stopped and won’t happen again? Was comic Charlie just more honest in this moment in acknowledging that it has still happened since? I’m not sure!!! But i’ve spent WAYYY too much time thinking about this one tiny change in dialogue!!!
Another thing is like, I really liked how the comics handled Nick’s dad. Them not meeting in Paris and then him missing Nick’s birthday. It really hits hard exactly how negligent he is, and it gives space for Charlie to be there for Nick when he’s upset. I do like how it went in the show as well, because it does still get everything across beautifully, but idk. I think mostly I’m just remembering the shot of Nick opening the door to greet Charlie on his birthday looking heartbroken and upset about his dad canceling and how hard that hit when i first read it. (keep in mind that i watched the show before reading the comics, so i was surprised at first to learn that they didn’t meet up in Paris! Let alone that he missed Nick’s birthday TOO!!)
Okay I think that’s it for right now. I have largely been spinning comic Charlie in the microwave in my mind bc OUGH i relate to him too much. I will probably come back at some point with more thoughts, but until then. Hope you enjoyed my brief insanity.
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gwormly · 9 months
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jojo sexuality headcanons lmao parts 1-3
ive scrounged the internet (well, lightly sifted through and then got bored) for a jojos bizarre adventure sexuality headcanons post that I agreed with completely and I literally could not find any so here’s my opinion that nobody asked for 😘
feel free to argue with me in the comments I’ll probably respond lol
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first up Jonathan joestar- straight ally
I think most people can agree that Jonathan is probs the straightest joestar (that I know of, I’ve read up to part 7 but I’ve heard gappy is pretty fucking straight) but yeah he’s straight
He probs doesn’t even fully understand what being not straight is but if someone he knew came out to him he would be very supportive even if he didn’t know what it rlly meant
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speedwagon-gay
idk if this is a hot take or not but this man did not have any sort of interest in women and was never married which if he was gay would make since back then bc being not straight wasn’t the norm lmao also there was that one scene in part 2 where Joseph was implying that speedwagon might’ve felt something more than friendship for jonathan so that’s why i think this
(I’m not gonna do dio bc his bisexuality was already confirmed by the one and only araki so that doesn’t rlly need an explanation 😭)
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joseph joestar: bicurious (female leaning)
I was scratching my head tryna come up with a sexuality for this fucker and eventually settled for bicurious bc we all know that there was sum going on with him and caesar but also he had a wife whom he cheated on with another woman so I mean
caesar was def his awakening that he might like men but sadly the rocks smashed caesar before Joseph could 😔 also Joseph wears far too many crop tops to be straight like let’s be honest
(bicurious applies to oldseph aswell)
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Caesar zeppeli: homoromantic bisexual
dis bro would never date women. but eat them out? Hell fucking yeah
he like dick too tho bc ik damn well if this hoe didn’t get crushed by a rock he would not have a wife like bro what
The words caesar and wife have no business being in the same sentence. Yk this hoe would have a hella 100% Italian husband named like Giuseppe or some shit who would only eat spaghetti for dinner literally every night
this poor dude just wanted some joestarussy but we all know that rocks are homophobic 😔
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lisa lisa-lesbian
she’s lesbian bc I said so she married a dude bc she was bored ok I literally do not care what anybody says
look at her
she’s a lesbian
for all the pillarmen it literally depends on the day, like one day they have big buff boyfriends and then a good nights sleep will make them like homophobic superstraights
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jotaro kujo: gay demiromantic asexual (sex indifferent)
first off jotaro really does not strike me as the type to think about romantic relationships all that much and definitely does not consider anybody for a romantic relationship upon first meeting them. he needs time to feel something more than platonic. I’ve seen people say that he’s aroace which I do think could be possible but I personally think that he does want love and care wether it be platonic or romantic
asexual just makes sense for him I’m pretty sure the majority of the fandom (not including the homophobic pissbabies) can agree with this. he doesn’t understand how people can just look at someone and feel attracted to them, bro probably discovered asexuality when he saw a meme that he related to and saw the asexual hashtags in the caption bro
also he’s just gay. like there is no way that he likes anybody except men. if this bro wanted a gf he’s got plenty of hoes to choose from. But he didn’t. Also he treats his hoes like shit lmao
and don’t even THINK about bringing up his wife (whom didn’t even have a name cause she was so unimportant, for convenience I’m gonna call her samantha smith) bc you and me both know damn well that samantha smith only exists to continue the bloodline. we also all know damn well that araki would make plot points that contradict against characters to continue the story. people who think jotaro is straight need to get real
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noriaki kakyoin: panromantic aceflux
listen I was going to say he was gay but I changed my mind because I really can’t imagine him caring about gender all that much. he does look like a twink tho I can’t deny it
Also araki did actually confirm that kakyoin likes both men and women (he said something along the lines of “I could see kakyoin falling in love with a man” idk I’m too lazy to look up exact wording) but I mean you can take one look at this dude and be able to tell that he is both not straight and has pronouns. I mean look at him
also I’m tired of people characterizing him as the UwU pissbaby fucktoy so he’s aceflux 1. Because I said so and 2. Because it just makes sense idk how to explain it
(ps if I see a kakyoin milf hunter joke in the comments to argue against kakyoin being not straight im going to fire a missile at your house bc telling the same joke for like 15 years isn’t funny luv xx)
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polnareff: pansexual
dis bro is desperate. he can’t be affording to care about gender man he’s tried to rizz up like 15 genders and failed at all of them you think he can actually afford to be anything but pansexual? also he fr fr just gives off stereotypical chaotic pansexual vibes
jokes aside tho he def don’t care. aslong as you give him validation you’ve already won him over
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muhammad avdol: gay demiromantic demisexual
he don’t really think about it all that much he only realizes if he likes somebody after he’s super close to them definitely. He do have a touch of the gay tho
if you disagree with any of these I would love to hear your headcanons in the comments!/gen
pls no like super heated arguments tho lol
also I might do parts 4-7 in another post cause this was fun asf
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aromantic-diaries · 6 months
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i always felt like smth was different about myself and my sister knew too cause when I was a teen, she told me that it’s okay to to be like my friends and that I could be asexual. i was afraid of being anything other than what others expected everyone to be that I hid. believed my friends when they accused me of lying, so I was like oh maybe I haven’t found the right person. But as time went on, and my crushes weren’t crushes. Just me wanting to friends with them, i didn’t picture anything else but friendship. and I realize this bc i was asked by my college roommates if I could be bi bc i was being really nice, and giving my other roommates attention bc i thought she was really cool and being her friend was smth I wanted. And I remember getting offended bc i thought it was normal to find people cool and want to be close with them. And what I didn’t realize is I did exactly that with boys i met that I thought were cute. But thing is, thinking a boy was cute for me didn’t mean I wanted to be with them, or anything. It’s like they were just nice looking. but I didn’t understand then. and my feelings would often fade when I told them how I felt each time. I felt it was weird but yeah. And now that I know I’m aroace, and as I am now I’ve done quite a lot of research on the lgbtqia community, it’s like it makes a lot more sense. And why my crushes weren’t really crushes. i remember just wanting to be friends with them and when I talked with a friend I would tell her, i didn’t picture myself with them like that just found them cool, like my roommate. now the reason I’m bringing this all up is, everytime I see a anon ask and they talk about their experience on here or when you post and I relate to it, i feel like this is me. i always felt behind with my friends, and never understood why bfs and gfs were so important, but I was so in denial of myself that I felt the need to get a bf myself which I never did cause I would always find a reason not to, it’s like I would always choose people who I knew wouldn’t like me back like that. i wish I could go back and hug my younger self and tell her that she doesn’t have to be like everyone, that she doesn’t have to want those things either. not to force conformity on myself. i dealt with a lot of internalized homophobia but I was never homophobic to anyone. I realize later that even if I am aroace, that if I were to be in a relationship or queer platonic one, it didn’t matter who it was. so for awhile I was like maybe I should find a label, but after I realized that the umbrella term queer can represent me as I know how I feel, and no one else needs to understand but me. i do feel like bi-oriented aroace suits me but bc rn i have no interest in relationships at all, it makes me question all over again. almost like I’m loveless? Idk. I’m sorry i just felt like people would understand? Or that you would understand… that’s why I wrote here. I hope you have a good day!
Hi! I'm glad you've come far in your journey of self acceptance and that the things you see on my blog resonate with you! And yeah, sometimes it's difficult to understand the specifics of one's own orientation, but at the end of the day, labelling everything isn't mandatory. Plus you never really stop growing or learning about yourself which is all part of the queer experience. All that matters is that you're comfortable in your own skin and accept yourself as you are
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sunmisbf · 4 months
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I come with an update nobody asked for 💕🫡
We went on our maybe date maybe not date. She dressed up, she’s so cute. Major height difference, I am so much taller than her.
We talked about sexuality and romance. She said “I’ve dated men before but kind of convinced myself into those relationships…I am attracted to the men and women in a tv show but that’s it…never real life men…if I got married to a man it would be like transactional…I have never had sex and don’t crave sex with a man or anyone…I don’t need a relationship…I think women are so so so pretty like every single one…I’m an ally”.
Meanwhile I was sitting there as the grown gay I am internally like “sweetie you are so repressed I wanna hug you”. She’s either got to be asexual or maybe sapphic but shoving it all down????? It seemed like she could only contemplate the world as “I’m a woman therefore I must have man partner if any” but didn’t want real men at all and therefore was stuck. Wanted to tell her being ace is fine and cool or maybe read about comp het 😭 idk!
Anyway I really liked her but I fear my duty is to be her gorgeous queer friend who helps her see non normative living as a real option and is just a fun vibe. I’m okay with that 🫡
The funny thing was that it did actually feel like a date 😭 we were both really nervous and she checked to see if I was having fun and when I said she had beautiful eyes she looked slightly shook in a good way 😭 but at the same time her ass really said with her whole chest “I’m an ally” whilst saying she can’t feel anything for men and doesn’t want them as if she thinks cis het women have that thought process so I’m guessing she saw it purely as having a hang out???? Anyway it was fun and I enjoy having cute friends
hi bestie i was waiting on this update don’t worry 🫶 it sounds like she’s repressed n thinks she has to be w a man or no one at all but i’m not going to diagnose her based on one ask 😭 i’m sorry it didn’t work out the way u originally hoped but i’m glad u had fun n made a new friend 💗 thank u for taking the time to update n i hope u do find the wife ur looking for 🫡🩷
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criminalskies · 7 months
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Hi Rome! I wanted to reach out to you because I feel this is a safe space and I know it’s stupid because we don’t even really know each other but I feel like I can trust you and that I have your support. Anyway, I wanted to kind of ask for advice on my sexuality if that’s ok. I’ve been kind of questioning it the last few years but am not really sure what I identify with. I always used to think I was straight but now it feels like I don’t belong in that “category”
I don’t like s3x. I don’t find it to feel good or be fun or anything like that. I don’t mind reading smutty stuff sometimes but when it gets too descriptive, I’m out.
I mostly find men attractive, but I sometimes find women attractive as well. But I don’t really feel sexually drawn to either of them. Like the most I feel is fantasizing about holding their hand or cuddling or maybe making out but certainly nothing past that. I mean I’ve had dreams (not like fantasizing but literal night time dreams) about being with both a man or a woman, but idk if that means anything. And I’ve found that some of the people I find attractive aren’t your typical “hot” people and it thinks it’s because I might care more about who they are than what they look like? Idk
I sometimes fantasize about having a relationship, but in reality I don’t want one. I think I more just like the idea of it and how they are in books and movies, but not the real life situation. Especially when I think about being with someone all the time. I prefer to be on my own. Which I guess is why I wonder if this even really matters, but I feel like I need to know even if it’s not applied?
Anyway, sorry, I’m rambling!! I just wanted someone to discuss this with I guess and I don’t really want to go to my family yet, which is why I wanted to reach out to you (and I guess the tumblr community if you decide to answer this and it’s on your feed lol) and if you do choose to share any advice, thank you, I love you, I love your writing, and the nasty anon people who share their evil words can kindly piss off! <3
Hi baby! Let me start this off by saying there’s no reason for you to feel silly at all, I say that this account is a safe space and I really mean it. I’m glad you feel comfortable and supported by me because that’s a goal of mine to have people always feel that way on my page.
Now, I’m assuming you’re here bc you’ve seen me talk about times in my life when I’ve thought I was asexual or even aromantic? and that stays true. admittedly when you sent me this ask I went full dad mode googling the aro/ace spectrum lingo and terms to make sure I’m giving you the best information. I also researched this stuff a bunch myself because as you say it’s all a bit confusing when you feel you fall between the ‘categories’.
But that’s an important point for me to make here: asexuality and aromanticism are fluid and exist on a spectrum. All our life experiences and ups and downs and mindsets and the people in our lives can change or skew these things, and that’s okay! I don’t expect to identify the exact same way forever. Honestly, when I first learned what aro and ace were, I was a bit lost because doesn’t everybody feel like this sometimes?
So with my newfound research let me try to talk you through what you’re saying?
You don’t like sex, not fun, not desirable, that’s completely valid. I’m finding more and more myself that I maybe fall somewhere under that umbrella, but an interesting term I found online helped me here:
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All the different niches of asexuality get a little confusing, but I resonate a lot with this one. I find myself with very little desire to actually partake in sex, but enjoying the fantasies or hypotheticals to be really interesting. I enjoy reading smut and even writing it once in a blue moon, but yeah, in terms of the real thing, I’m becoming increasingly unsure it’s my cup of tea.
I notice you said sometimes smut can be your cup of tea, if it’s nondescript or just implied etc, but usually isn’t. I completely understand what you mean. I think that’s a completely valid stance. You aren’t completely repulsed by sex but you’re also not aroused by it, I totally hear you!
Now you say you find yourself attracted to men and to women, but not sexually. I feel that. I fantasise about having someone to hold hands with and play with their hair, cuddle up under blankets to watch movies, all that fun jazz all the time! so it sounds to me like you’re existing somewhere on the ace spectrum, but you’re not aromantic. That is, you do feel romantic attraction, you do want a partner in some things outside of platonic life. Again! Man!!! I hear you! I want the quiet days and the running errands and having someone who knows me like the back of their hand, but I’m not sure I want that person sexually or at least not all the time.
And the people you’re attracted to, it’s less because of that primary attraction (this term comes up a lot in ace literature, it’s that feeling non-ace people get when they see someone and immediately a fire is lit in their belly, they want that person) and more because you get to know and love them as a person. You are preaching to the damn choir here.
Secondary Attraction is a term for that feeling that slowly grows over time, particularly romantic feelings for someone. It’s mostly coined by Demisexual people, which I feel like maybe you’re fitting into, only not in the sexual way, but in the romantic way. Like you might be asexual but demiromantic where all of your attraction comes from getting to know the person underneath. Sorry if it sounds like I’m making up words at this point but i think it helps to have some language to help describe how you’re feeling. But again! There’s no necessity to define these things. Just saying you’re asexual but you feel romantic attraction can cut it, or saying nothing at all is fine, too. You don’t have to fit into any little boxes sweetheart. Although it can be comforting to know that others fit into the same one, that you’re not alone. But let me tell you, you aren’t 💕💗 I’m right here and I feel you!
Now the part where you say you don’t want a forever relationship, I can understand too. Now it sounds a little like you might exist somewhere within aromantic because you don’t have that desire to have a romantic relationship. That is so okay too.
there are some ace-aro people who are referred to as greysexual or greyromantic (I know this sounds so made up but it helped me feel seen) who can feel some degree of sexual attraction or some degree of romantic attraction sometimes, but for the most part they fit under the general umbrella. Remember, time changes all. We aren’t going to be the same people we are today forever, so we can’t expect one identity to withstand the force of time alone, things change and that’s okay.
Please please remember that being ace or aro does not mean your life will be any less fulfilling than people who have partners. I know that in media, romantic love can be shown as being something a level above platonic love, but really truly your life can be just as marvellous without it my dear.
Please do not apologise for rambling, Rome loves to ramble. My inbox is always open for rambling sweetheart! I have definitely doubled the length of your ramble at this point anyways so I’ll cut to the chase. I threw a lot of labels o it there for you to try them on and see what feels right, but truly, labels aren’t a necessary part of being a human being. You are no less interesting or less important or less understood if you can’t make yourself fit into any one of these categories my love. You’re human, humans are complex and every single one is an anomaly of something. That’s what makes us so damn interesting, okay?
I see you and I understand you. Thank you for coming to me to talk about this, I hope any single thing I’ve said helps. There is no need at all to run to people with a definition of it, it’s perfectly okay to just tell them what you’ve told me, which is how you feel.
Now I love you too my sweet summer child and I’m so glad you enjoy my writing and my blog! And I agree, that anon was a whole mess but for the most part it seems to be over now. I’m so glad I didn’t disable all anon asks now though because then I never would have gotten this from you. I hope I have been of any help at all! The bottom line is you are loved and you are you. There’s no need to change that. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜🩷
also I have about eleven more screenshots from this site if you want them but it’s just all the terms I tried to describe.
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Me and a couple of friends are making an asexual visual novel game centred around asexuals in romantic relationships. This is a small project so don’t expect anything huge it’s literally just three of us. With Twitter going downhill, Aka our main advertising hub we don’t know where to go. I suggested making a tumblr but I’m unsure cause I was here during the peak of ace discourse and were worried about a lot of aphobia and exclusion. Do you think as an ace blog as a couple of worried queers we‘ll be okay. Like we expect hate every now and again but I don’t want…. Like a massive stampede. Or is is best to look at other avenues like idk Tik tok
Oh that sounds really cool! Wishing you guys all the luck!
The ace exclusionist/harassment issue has definitely died down a lot on Tumblr. It hasn't gone away completely but you're more likely to get a sporadic ask here and there of someone trying to start something then anything else (and I don't know if you'll get even that), and if you block whenever they pop up you should be fine.
I don't know the situation on TikTok, I've heard it's a bit worse, though you're also probably going to find a bigger audience there. Do any followers have any insight/advice for TikTok?
Or anyone have any other suggestions where they can promote their project?
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bitemesweetlyif · 1 year
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Ask for the polys!! Once MC is in a relationship with them do they have a soft-not-spicy night time routine like, idk, reading with hot drinks or wine, running baths, brushing each other's hair and scalp massages or something else? Undressing each other from uncomfortable formal clothes and/lots of jewelry and pressing kisses against skin. (Not with like Intent TM bc both me and my MC are asexual so if it was done with anything other than a loving gesture we'd have to get out the Horny-B-Gone spray bottle LOL)
What does cuddling look like? Who's in the middle? Do they rotate who's in the middle and are there specific circumstances? (They just feel like it, one of them is more in need of it/look like they need to be hugged from both sides)
I hope this all makes sense lol, and I am sending Florin and Asa my love~ 🥰🤗💖
Florin and Asa accept your love graciously! I’m excited to do this ask (even though it’s sat in the box for a bit)! I mostly wind up doing asks that are leaning towards NSFW or just straight up NSFW, so this is a very nice break!
Speaking of breaks, so sorry for the sudden complete radio silence! Apparently my university takes Halloween pretty seriously, so I’ve been pretty busy with random events, but at least I got two fish out of it!! I won the fish race twice😎😎 Enough about me! I won’t bore with my rambles and I’ll give you the goods that you came for!
The Polys™️ cuddle/sleep postions
Selene and Asa poly:
Asa sleeps closest to the door in case someone breaks in. They want to be able to protect you and Selene from any harm. They’re also like a solid barrier that will prevent you from falling of that side of the bed. They have to sleep facing the door too, so you’ll be face to face with their back. They also suffer from night terrors, so they do this that way they won’t accidentally hit you or Selene.
Selene sleeps in the middle, because being a queen is hard and she deserves the relaxation of being smooshed in between her lovers, also being in the middle prevents her from rolling off the bed. Of course she’s willing to switch places with you if you ever want to be in the middle! She really understands the joy of being smooshed, so expect her to trap you in her arms when you’re in the middle. Hopefully you don’t have to pee!
Selene and Genevieve poly:
Selene sleeps on the outside with her arm thrown over you and barely touching Genevieve since Gen doesn’t like to be smothered.
Gen would sleep closest to the door or window with her hand clutching a dagger that’s hidden underneath her pillow. She face near you and Selene, so she can enjoy waking up to beautiful faces of her lovers and she also wakes up at the slightest noise or movement, so please be careful!
Selene, Vesper, and Simone poly:
Selene lays on the outside closest to the wall, because she rolls around during the night and she doesn’t want to fall on the floor. She definitely holds hands with Simone when they’re in the middle.
Simone is like a starfish. They lay in the middle, so they can be touching the everyone and make sure that they’re still hear when they wake up. They also like to hold hands with Selene because it’s grounding for the both of them. Simone is typically in the middle unless Vesper (playfully) wrestles them for the middle.
Vesper tends to sleep on the outside since he tends to get hot easily, but sometimes there are moments that he really just needs to be suffocated in a cuddle pile with his lovers, so he might wrestle you or Simone for the middle. He also loves to bury his face in the crook of the neck of whoever is laying next to him. Watch out though! He finds it funny to randomly give love bites in the middle of the night!
Selene and Vesper poly:
You already know that you’ll be smooshed between them. Selene has her arms wrapped around you tightly while Vesper has his face buried into your neck and his arm throw around both you and Selene. If you try to get up for any reason, you’ll have two very upset royals that will try to keep you trapped with them. Just don’t do it. The kingdom doesn’t need two very upset royals that didn’t get their cuddles!
Vesper and Asa poly:
Asa has been forced into the middle. They say they hate it, but they secretly love the feeling of being protected by you and Ves. It also helps their night terrors when they can see and feel you both.
Vesper will sleep on his stomach with his arm thrown over Asa trying to reach you. He wants to hold your hand or just touch you so you don’t feel neglected by him. You also have to deal with the play fights between Asa and Ves because Asa always (barely) tries to get out of the middle.
Vesper and Florin poly:
You all rotate for the middle. It’s only fair since Ves and Florin both like being in the middle and they also want you to be able to be smooshed in between them. You guys will probably play rock, paper, scissors for the middle or Florin will create a schedule for who gets the middle.
Florin and Asa poly:
Asa sleeps the same way as they do in the Selene poly.
Florin likes to sleep in the middle, because they’re usually cold and being in the middle is very warm. They’ll switch with you if you want the middle, but not without a little bit of reluctance. They wrap their arms around Asa and then they have you wrap your arms around them. It kind of looks like a conga line, but they want to be touching everyone because they want your warmth love you!
Asa and Malachi poly:
Asa will sleep closest to the wall. They’ll sleep facing you and Malachi with their arms wrapped around you.
Malachi tends to stay up late, so he sleeps closest to the door, because it’s easiest for him to slide into bed when he finally does come to bed. He also buries his face into you and wraps his arms around you with his hand holding onto one of Asa’s arms that’s wrapped around you.
Bonus:
Happy Halloween! My parents dressed up my dog as a werewolf for Halloween! She looks so silly😅
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aroaceconfessions · 1 year
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I’m genuinely curious to know like if all allo people think about partners/relationships as much as my friends do or if its just them. Like my one friend/roommate knows Im aro/ace and they still come to me with their thoughts and struggles and I want to support them but I’m so confused and I always have to tell them that idk what to tell them basically. Like they tell me about their thoughts and feelings and they’re like “is that normal?” And I’m like “bestie I have never once in my life thought of felt those things about someone.”
I had a guy friend who was trying to bond over our mutual singleness and I had to be like “yeah no I’m not really looking to not be single” and proceeded to explain what asexuality was and he was supportive but confused lol
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brookheimer · 1 year
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There's something else about Roman I've always noticed. Well, twice in Season 3. In episode 2 he says ironically the siblings are 20 something transgender dreamers, as in "we're obviously older cisgender non-dreamers", not touching upon their sexualities, and in episode 6 he says to Shiv when they arrive in the ultraconservative political conference that she'll soon get "white cis male stank all over you", not mentioning sexuality either. Like, if at least HE is present, gayness is assured, that's how I've always read it lol
yeah! i don’t think it’s, like, proof of anything like in my mind it’s less that gayness is assured if he’s there and more that jesse is deliberately leaving that part open-ended for all the siblings given that thus far all of them (barring connor i think) have had some pretty questionable same-sex interactions/other certain implications i must say. like idk i definitely don’t think roman would refer to himself as gay right now or maybe ever — i don’t think he’d refer to himself as any sexuality bc he doesn’t even know what’s going there, and until he undergoes a fuckton of therapy and unimaginable healing, i don’t think he’ll get there. personally i’m less in the gay roman camp than the ??????????roman camp like i honestly don’t think this man feels sexual attraction to people, but i don’t quite think he’s asexual either. i think he does feel sexual desire but not for specific people, more just generally or in relation to a power dynamic or a feeling more than anything else. but i do not think he ever looks at someone and goes “whew. they’re hot.” — i think he’s trained himself to bc he knows he’s supposed to, but innate attraction is something he’s never been able to comprehend. he’s never attracted to people so much as he is the relationship they have with him or the way that they view him. i think a lot of it depends too on whether you think he’s a victim of CSA or not which personally is a coin flip for me tbh — definitely possible, but i don’t think it’s the only explanation. he’s definitely too traumatized for intimacy but i don’t think that trauma necessarily has to be CSA, bc a lot of the shit we canonically know ab his childhood really adds up with his behavior in the present
sorry this got way outta control lol just thinking thoughts living life xx
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raemeh · 1 year
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heyheyhey.,.,. could I mayhaps request the "nitty grittys" for your dndads aspec headcannons ? I would LOVE to read your specific hcs for them
hell yea you can! I’d love to do that :D
First off Lincoln - Knowing me one of these was going to be me projecting on to someone and that someone is link here. Lincoln I can see being what I am and that is an asexual who experiences alterous attraction, which basically means that trusting someone emotionally is important to him and that he’d like it to happen in most of relationships. Which also makes grant lying to him and Marco even worse if you think about it. I can see link being one of those asexuals that doesn’t mind sex and would do it if his partner wanted to but doesn’t get the appeal.
Taylor - I feel like Taylor would be one of those aroace people who would date. Like he wouldn’t mind doing the romantic stuff like kissing and stuff but what he’d really want from a partner is just someone to hang out with and talk to. Basically just a friendship with a label on it.
Lark - I’ve talked about how I think he’s aromantic on other posts and how he kinda resents it because he sees people being happy when they talk about love and just wishes that was him. I believe another term for it is Cupioromantic.
Sparrow - Cloested Asexual, I’ve seen others make this claim so I know I’m not the only one. Remember that random fbi agent that discovered that he was asexual while on drugs. I would love it if that was Anthony foreshadowing that Sparrow feels similar to how the fbi agent discribed it.
Ron - He just gives me Demi-sexual vibes I don’t know why. And I don’t even thinks he knows it, he just thinks that everyone just acts like that.
Nick - I feel like people are going to come at me for saying this but graysexual. I don’t have many things to back this up but it’s similar to Ron to where for me it feels accurate.
Terry - on the one side I feel like he’d be a sex repulsed asexual. On the other side I want to say that he, like Ron is also a Demi sexual. And I feel like I have to reign in the writer side of me to say “No, you make/hc way too many Demi-sexual/romantic characters already than what would be considered possible” (No I’m not Demi-sexual so idk why I like writing about it.) But then there’s also the fact that I find it funny about the idea of Terry trying to explain to Ron that not everyone is Demi-Sexual and then when Ron asks if he feels similar, Terry is accidentally dumbfounded and Ron refuses to believe otherwise unless Terry can prove it.
Hermie - Asexual aegosexual no further questions.
Stud - I apologize I haven’t delve so much into atmod characters than the others of the series. I have listened to the entire thing I just probably need to look into the characters more so this might seem out of character. I want to say that stud is aroflux. Either that or gray-romantic. All criticism is welcome.
May Hales it feels weird to not include the last name - She just gives off the vibe that if I were to meet her in real life I would find her cool. And then I would find out she’s ace and immediately think she’s cooler. I don’t know how else to expand upon it.
Scam - I already mentioned that I think he’s Demi-romantic but i like to think that with Jodie, he started out jokingly flirty with him just to mess with him. And the more he did it the less it was a joke.
One more for ya That I didn’t include in the other one. Yeet bigly - rejected grant because he was aroace.
Again I’m more on the ace side. I’m on the aro spectrum but I don’t know where. As you’ll see the headcanon’s kinda refect that as there are more ace than aro.
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positivelybeastly · 1 month
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🖤(for bobby? ^_^)
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
Classic bear/twunk synergy going on here, tbh. I think Hank's always been aware of Bobby being objectively a very handsome young man, but I don't think that it's the kind of handsome that makes Hank descend into lust - he just doesn't quite read that way to me. He's cute, he's good looking, but, idk, this is one that boils down way more to how they interact and their personalities than anything else.
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personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
This is one that can really run the gamut - Hank can either find Bobby to be one of the single most annoying people on the planet, or his single best friend on the face of the Earth, and yes, there's plenty of room in between for those to exist simultaneously. I've talked before about how this friendship has soured in recent years, but even with Hank retreating from it, I don't think he sees Bobby as a bad person, just not one that he can rely on or find solace in a lot of the time. His emotional needs are too complex and their history too messy - in Hank's mind, anyway.
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how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
Bobby/Hank is something that kind of has to come with an emotional component, imo. Hank's era of relationships without emotional investment are long since gone, and especially if he was going to have sex with a friend like Bobby, he would want to be sure that it isn't going to ruin what they have or make it worse. He can get sexual gratification plenty of places, but the relationship that Bobby offers, platonic or non, is too valuable for him to ruin it just to get his end away.
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level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.
This one really varies depending on the time period, tbh. I feel like the times they were closest were the 60s and the 80s, so O5 and Defenders/X-Factor, with the 00s really seeing the end of their friendship and the trend more towards just - knowing, one another. Hell, there's a moment during Avengers vs. X-Men where Bobby joins Scott's side of things, and he tries to appeal to his and Hank's friendship, and Hank is just. Cold, towards him. He doesn't even flinch. I think there's a lot of bottled up anger in there.
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first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
Let's be real here, teen Bobby was annoying as hell, but then, so was teen Hank. Teenagers are annoying! But I definitely think that Bobby was Hank's first real male friend, the one I'd point to as, this is where Hank learned to make proper friends with people, and that counts for a lot.
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current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
Ahahahahahahahaha how depressing of an answer do you want?
Oh, wait, I know.
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X-Force Beast wouldn't piss on Bobby if he was on fire, and Bobby doesn't even think of him when he's dying. If they don't hate each other, it's because they don't care about one another anymore.
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grennz-da-gay · 1 month
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Hiiiii
another Raph and Charcoal story based of of this idea where they have a fukin child. Why? Idk, for fun. They are obviously adults, just in case you don’t touch grass. Raph is asexual and panromantic and I imagine they only ever do the deed once in their relationship so yeah… Anyway, this is so ooc man… like, there’s no saving this. Just, please, don’t read this. Anyway, hope you enjoy this fic about Raph being gregnant!!! 😃👍
The night was calm, well, it’s never truly nighttime in the hidden city. But that crystal moon does a good job of being a replacement sun, being bright for 12 hours then extremely dim for another. It’s good for both Raph and Charcoal that the crystal moon’s day/night cycle is similar to the up top day/night cycle or else they both would still be experiencing serious jet lag despite having lived here for 5 years now.
Although it technically was very early in the morning, it was still dark. So to Raphael, it is still night. The alligator snapping turtle stirred awake, his sleep was peaceful but was interrupted by a weird stomach ache. It was weird because he can’t remember eating anything in particular that would make his body angry. But after all, Raph is always eating weird and unsanitary shit which he should probably stop doing since he’s growing older (even though his brother’s are no better.) He could feel Charcoal’s presence beside him in bed which is always a source of comfort but it definitely didn’t help with physical discomfort. It was a dull ache that traveled up his shell and down his legs, needless to say it fucking hurt but it wasn’t the worst pain he ever felt.
Raph flipped onto his side and reached out for Charcoal, touching his shoulder. It was just an instinctive reach for any available comfort, he’s still half awake after all. A sudden strike of pain went up his shell causing him to let out a groan and curl into a ball, which made Charcoal awaken. They’re both heavy sleepers but sudden movements always make Char wake up.
“You okay?” The other man asked groggily, lifting his hand and gently stroking Raph’s shell.
“Yeah? No? I don’t know. My stomach hurts so bad…” Raph didn’t know how to answer, he was starting to feel the nausea kicking in.
“You’re sick again?” Charcoal sat up. Worry always woke him right up. “Should we go to the doctor or something? You keep getting sick. I’m starting to get worried-”
“No, it doesn't feel serious. I think I just need to use the bathroom.” Raph pinched his eyebrows together, something he tended to do when he saw his brothers being stupid or if tension was high. Maybe that’s why he has the forehead chasm Leo always liked joking about. But jokes on that blue son of a bitch because he’s starting to get wrinkly as well. Raphael will admit it though, those fancy facial products Leo used really helped him in the long run.
“If you say so, call for me if you need me.” Charcoal gently stroked down Raph’s shell before getting up and turning on the lights. “I’ll go make us some tea.” He then left the room. Raph could see it was starting to get a slight bit brighter out meaning it was morning. Which he really was hoping it wouldn’t be but oh well. The turtle dragged himself out to the bathroom that he finds to be tacky. The way the orange light clashed with the green walls and purple dome ceiling... Most of the hidden city looks like clashing colors which can be a lot on the eyes but you get used to it (unless you’re a nauseous turtle, then everything sucks again.) They’ve already renovated the kitchen and living room as well as half of the bedroom, thankfully. The part that really bothers Raph is the plants everywhere, neither he nor Charcoal are good at taking care of anything. They tried to take care of a succulent once and it died within three days. Thank goodness most of the plants are some weird magic mumbo jumbo that don’t really need care.
The turtle sat on the toilet and… you know… did his business.
But it fucking hurt. It didn’t feel like normal constipation or such, it hurt so much worse. But pretty soon it was over and the pain dispersed into a dull throb. But he didn’t feel it in the places he’s supposed to.. Honestly, Raph didn’t care too much. He was just glad it was over with at that point but he might take up that offer on a doctor's visit.
He finished his business and yawned. When Raph was little he saw Donnie and Leos watching some doctor talk show, he overheard the host suggesting that people look at their waste before they flush and it made sense to Raph. Since then he’s always checked before flushing. A weird habit to others maybe but he’s had too many health scares to NOT check. When he got up and looked he was already instinctively going to flush but was caught off guard.
Raph couldn’t say anything for a moment then he managed to yell for Charcoal. The yell had a distressed undertone and that made Charcoal worry so he immediately booked it to the bathroom just to be met with what seemed to be nothing. “What?! Is everything okay?” Char looked at Raph worried.
“Uh- the- the toilet.” Raph mumbled, obviously in shock.
Charcoal was weirded out but didn’t question his boyfriend until he saw the slightly translucent, white, leathery orb in the toilet. “Wha- what the fuck is that? Is that an egg???” Char doesn’t know too much about turtles or really any animal but he watched a few alligator snapping turtle documentaries once in hopes to learn more about his boyfriend and saw they laid round, white eggs.
“Uh, I think?”
“Well pick it up! I don’t think it can stay in there.”
Raph hesitantly picked it up out of the toilet. “Why didn’t you pick it up? It’s yours!”
Char looked down. “It’s been.. Like.. inside you and stuff, I don’t wanna touch it!”
“What…” Raph mumbled, processing that. “What the- YOU’VE BEEN INSIDE ME AND STUFF!”
“I’M SORRY, OKAY?! I’M LIKE PANICKING RiGHT NOW! A-Aren’t you supposed to keep it warm or something? Like a bird?”
“Like, bundle it?” Actually Char was suggesting his boyfriend sit on it but whatever. Raph looked down at the egg. “How can I be sure there’s something in it? Maybe I’m on my period or something.”
“You never had a period before.” Char answered bluntly. It is true. Charcoal is pretty sure Leo gets periods though, but the rest of them don’t.
“I’m serious!” Raph wasn’t the only one panicking. He’s not ready for so much responsibility! He can barely take care of a fucking cactus, a baby? That’s asking too much. He can take care of three mostly independent idiots but something so delicate and in need of so much care? He just can’t. Could he get rid of it? That has a pretty obvious answer but would there be a moral way to? He still has so much to live for, so many bad guys to smash and things to see! He can’t dedicate his life to something so permanent just yet!
“Oh wait!” Charcoal suddenly sounded very excited and happy. He quickly dashed out of the bathroom to their room and Raph followed.
“What?”
Char got out his phone and turned on its flashlight. “One time I had a tangent of watching educational turtle picture shows- I mean- videos and saw something. If you shine a light under the egg you should see a lump of baby inside!”
Raph smiled, Charcoal isn’t the best at paying attention but yet he dedicated his time to learning more about Raph anyway… “Alright, yeah.” He handed the egg to his boyfriend and watched him place it against the light.
Lo and behold there was something growing in there. It's obviously not easy to see but there’s a small clump of flesh latched onto the side inside of the egg. He wasn’t expecting Raph to hug him but to be honest Charcoal had no idea what reaction to expect. Raphael was sobbing into his chest which isn’t very like him at all. Raph is the big brother tough guy who never shows himself crying unless he just can’t help it. “Wha- no, everything will be okay! Don’t worry about it babe, we’ll figure it out- mmph!”
Charcoal felt his face get forced down to his boyfriend’s level and kissed. The kiss lasted for a few moments before he pulled away. “I’m sorry I just- I’m so happy but confused but also scared…”
“Hey.. It’s okay, we have family to help us out, right?”
“Uhh.” Raph backed away a bit. “Let’s tell my brothers and April first, pops is constantly nagging about grandkids, I feel like he’ll get too excited.”
Charcoal laughed and hugged Raph, being sure to be careful with the egg in his hands. And obviously Raph hugged back. “When do you wanna tell your brothers then?”
“Uhm…” Raph reached for his phone and checked the time, it’s 6:30. Good, Mikey is always up early for mystic training. “I guess as soon as possible?” Yeah, the sooner the better.
(Hope you liked that! I made Raph mistaking him birthing for shitting cuz im just fukin silly like that. Anyway, thanks for reading, I’ll mail you holy water as soon as possible mate.)
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