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moonhibs · 5 months

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I just feel like she hopes she'll become someone better but cries knowing she won't.

#sorry if it feels mischarcatery its just been stuck in my head #missy makes me so sad you guys :(#the doctor didnt even really know who she was in the end #and i feel like she wishes that he did. and that she got to keep being herself because Missy was someone she enjoyed being #compared to the master yknow?#doctor who s8 ep11 spoilers #shes so :(#missy #doctor who #the master #myart #im so proud of this actually i did it in ibit paint with a soft zero texture brush which is like woah #its a little dramatic for mtly tastes but oughhhh

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smolmakerel · 8 months

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"Do you sit down in the shower, Tara?"

Tara blinked in surprised before narrowing her eyes. "What?"

Her new therapist, Abby Turner, was staring at her with a relaxed expression of genuine curiosity. She didn't really look the part of a therapist, sitting there in a yellow cardigan that matched the socks with SpongeBob on them. If anything, she looked a lot like a teacher Tara had in second grade minus the thick rimmed glasses.

"Do you sit down whenever you take a shower?" Abby asked again, shifting to cross her legs. She drew her fingernail over the metal clip of her clipboard.

Still, Tara was taken aback by such a question. She felt oddly seen through.

"Why?" Tara shot back instead.

Abby laughed softly. "There's no need to be defensive. I was going over our notes from last time and thought about what you said."

What she said? What did Tara say, exactly?

"I don't remember saying anything bad," mumbled Tara.

"No, nothing bad. I'm sorry if I made you panic."

At that, Tara hardened her gaze and looked away. Leave it to the therapist to know when her thoughts were spiraling out of control. God, Tara only had 7 sessions with her, and Abby thought she knew everything about Tara.

"It's ok if you do," Abby went on to say. Tara's face soured, and Abby unfortunately caught that. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Another one?" Tara tried to joke, but Abby saw through her facade. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to play 20 questions."

She chuckled awkwardly. "Why do you sit down in the shower?"

"Because... I uh..."

"Take your time."

Tara was at a loss for words. Why did she sit down in the shower? She never really noticed she did it until Abby sent her back with homework to figure out things she noticed about her dailey routine. Which included an hour long shower; Tara would be sitting in the tub allowing the hot water to hit her back. While she sat, tremors would rack her body and her irritation would rise.

"I get in the shower in the morning," Tara explained slowly, still processing her thoughts. "Before class so no one has to see me all... icky."

"And do you think there might be another reason for sitting down?" Abby inquired. "I only ask because of your water bottle comment."

Tara looked unsure at that. She brought her hands to her lap to fidget with her nails. The comfortable gray armchair she sat on never felt more uncomfortable under the watchful eye of her therapist.

"S-Sorry, but I don't remember talking about that."

"That's ok," her therapist assured her. "Last time, you talked about how you needed to clean your room. You have a lot of water bottles on your table and floor, clothes in your bed."

Recognition flashed in Tara's eyes. "Right. Sorry."

"Depression and anxiety after a traumatic event is completely normal, Tara. In fact, I would be surprised if you didn't have one of those with what you've been through."

Tara shrugged. "It's nothing. Other people have been through more than me; I'm just being selfish."

Selfish. She had always been selfish; even her own mother thought so, and she made sure to remind Tara anytime she was in town.

Abby wrote something down, nodding to herself as if all of Tara's issues were understandable now.

"I sit on the floor," Tara suddenly said in the uncomfortable silence. She didn't look at her therapist at all, ashamed. "I get so... tired sometimes. And it isn't because of the metal in my leg! It's me! I wake up tired, go through the day angry because of how tired I am, and go to sleep tired. But then I can't sleep and I just..." She huffed in frustration, nails dug into her palms. "I don't know what to do."

Abby leaned back in her chair and flipped her clipboard over on her lap. Her eyes watched Tara's face closely.

"Is there anything you have that could help you sleep?" Abby asked. "A stuffed animal, a nightlight...?"

Tara's mind immediately drifted to her older sister. Sam was strong enough to keep Tara's night terrors away, yet she's soft enough to wrap Tara in her arms and calm her down. No matter how much Tara yells and sobs in her sleep, no matter the bloody scratch marks on her arms, no matter how Tara dissociates to protect herself. Sam was always there.

"No," Tara claimed instead.

Abby cocked her head. "And your sister isn't willing to help you?"

Tara shook her head. "No, she is but... I don't want to bother her with my problems."

Abby flipped her clipboard back over and wrote something down. Tara wanted to chuck the damn thing out the window. She lowered the clipboard again.

"Based on what you've told me about your sister, she sounds like just the person you need at night," Abby pointed out with a soft smile. "I'm sure she'd be willing to help if you asked."

'But I can't!' The words burn acid on Tara's tongue.

"Ok."

Fuck.

[♡♡♡]

Tara raised her hand at Sam's door and drew it into a fist. It hovered in the air for a long few seconds.

Then she knocked.

The door opened not even a second later, and Sam was standing there rubbing her eyes.

"Tara?" Sam mumbled. She instantly woke up, eyes darting over Tara looking for some sort of injury. "Are you ok? What are you doing up right now?"

"Can... Can I sleep in here with you?" Tara asked and before Sam could respond, she was babbling. "I'm sorry if I woke you up with this. Fuck, I'm so stupid. This was a mistake, I didn't mean to wake you up with my stupid problems. I-I'll go back to my room. Sorry -"

"Tara."

Tara's breathing hitched when Sam gently cupped her face, and - Oh. That was actually kind of nice. She sank into the warmth of Sam's palms.

"Let's go to bed, ok?" Sam whispered.

Tara nodded, throat thick with emotion. "Ok."

It was about 20 minutes later when they were settled in Sam's bed. Tara was dozing off finally, face buried into Sam's chest as her arms wrapped around her.

She stirred slightly when Sam kissed the top of her head. Her fingers tucked a few strands of hair out of Tara's face.

"I love you, Tara," Sam muttered.

Tara, too exhausted to say anything, simply turned her head and kissed Sam on the palm. She settled back down and relaxed into a peaceful sleep.

#scream #scream 2022 #scream vi #sam carpenter #tara carpenter #I was tempted to make the therapist bad but then I thought of my therapist and how nice she is and thought “better not”#They're so soft for each other #I'm still figuring out how to write them tbh #So enjoy while I'm working on breaking your hearts in my next post #Tara learning how to ask for help after everything #She trusts Sam but doesn't trust herself #And it's all because of Christina fucking Carpenter #Fuck Christina Carpenter #My writing

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books-and-dragons · 5 months

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I'm so sorry, I'm kinda drunk and dropping another idea, do with it whatever ye will.

Yknow how in the beginning of the game, Sojiro tells Ren he won't take care of him when he gets sick?

Consider: he's not used to city germs/being that closely shoved against other people on the train. He DOES start to get sick around Kamoshida's Palace, powers through it, and then is SUPER sick just after it's over.

He plans on sucking it up and hiding it, but Futaba hears his hacking coughs over her bug even when he's upstairs, followed by wheezing, maybe even a little weeping. He's constantly in and out of the bathroom, and he's starting to run out of tissues.

Futaba nervously texts Sojiro that the kid they took in sounds awful. Sojiro is gruff at first and says he's not a baby, he can take care of himself. She responds by sending him the audio and suddenly Dad Instincts kick in

y/n

obviously it's a YES, our brainrots continue because early-game ren and sojiro dynamics break my heart every time how dare you get me so invested in this idea, this post got too long so it's going under a read more

listen listen look i love sojiro and the coffee family okay, but early-game?? sojiro could catch these hands

ren has already been though so much by the time he arrives in tokyo, to then be put into a dusty old attic like a spare part would absolutely fit in with ren's own perception of himself at that stage. it would be almost too easy for him to put his own health on the backburner kinda like he's already used to it

very used to not taking up space, 'not being a bother', and then sojiro really reinforces this message when ren first gets to leblanc- so when ren inevitably gets ill a month into his probation, it's already doomed for maladaption

tokyo would be such a breeding ground for sickness compared to the countryside, and ren just doesn't have the consitution to deal with it. the dusty attic and poor eating habits don't help matters, and then we have the stress of kamoshida and the metaverse?? ren is not having a Good Time™

at first it's something he thinks he can shrug off, and is adamant that ignoring it is the way to go. a cold, it's nothing, he can handle this alone, no need to bother anyone else with it.

inevitably, he gets worse, because that's what happens when you don't rest and let yourself recover. a tickly cough becomes a tightness in his chest, mild congestion shifts into an attack on his senses and blurriness- but maybe that's the dizziness. he's not really sleeping, either.

it's something that's becoming increasingly difficult to brush off and hide, he even relented to finally getting some medicine (nothing as strong as he needs by this point, that would eat too much into his limited funds, but some painkillers to take the edge off). once or twice he's tempted to stay off school, at morgana's insistence, or a too close call where he definitely blacked out for a minute, but then sojiro's voice will ring in his head 'i won't be the one looking after you if you get sick', 'your parents got rid of you for being a pain in the ass', and all his worst insecurities come rushing back and he's resolved to deal with it on his own

meanwhile, futaba's been making use of her hidden audio bugs- normally they're a comfort for her in the daytime, but since the new kid- ren- has been staying at the cafe (part-timer her ass, how gullible does sojiro think she is?!), she's been listening more frequently. when ren gets sick, she figures it out quickly.

time goes on, he's not getting better- he's actually getting worse- and futaba starts to wonder if she's the only one who knows

(there's something in his sharp contrasts- the quiet kid who shuffles through the cafe and takes sojiro's scolding, to the coughing kid who cries into the silence of night when he thinks there's nobody there to see it- that stabs through her numbness. it feels like a companion to her own ghost)

one night she swears the kid gets up to be sick, and there's hardly any sound heard from the attic all night. if nobody's gonna help ren, then she will (futaba used to like helping, once upon a time).

she texts sojiro the next day, when ren doesn't say anything again, and goes off to school with what she bets is a fake assurance on his face

and you're so right, sojiro dismisses her concern really easily, claims the kid can 'take care of himself' and he won't 'baby' the part-timer. insists ren needs to learn some disipline, then maybe he'll stay out of trouble

frustration wells in futaba- if she was less fixated on what was going on with ren, she'd register it's one of the first changes of mood she's had for months- and she responds with nothing but an audio clip, an attached explanation that this is just from the past few days- it's been going on for weeks, then she waits, and hears the distant sound of her compilation through one of the bugs, a hitched breath from sojiro, curse words under his breath-

for all his earlier postulating about not helping ren if he gets sick, sojiro is immeditely struck with a pang of concern- it sounded bad, and if futaba's words were anything to go by, this had been going on for a while. the kid's at school now (at school, being as ill as that and he was still going to class-), so sojiro will talk to him when he gets back. there's a chance he goes a bit too over the top, between the variation of medicines he purchases, supplies he grabbed from home- if you accused him for over-compensating after maybe being too harsh on the kid in the beginning, you'd be right

and you just know ren would be so resistent at first to help, or even just the offer of staying off school. in his sickness-induced fugue, ren's filter-less in rattling off how he can't stay off, what will the students and teachers think, and he has work that afternoon, and a test soon, and he doesn't want to get in the way-

sojiro's heart just shatters

this kid, whose been silently carring the weight of the world and has apparently been falling to pieces for weeks now and sojiro didn't even notice?

(a part of it reminds him too much of the other kid he's got at home, the countless ways he's already failed futaba, and now ren too? he feels useless)

sojiro focuses on what he can do, and that's making the kid rest. work will understand, school can wait, ren isn't an inconvenience, he guides the kid to bed, calls takemi immediately (who rushes over, despite the fact she's technically closed at this hour, and refuses to take any payment),

even still, there's this stilted awkwardness between them when the quiet pushes on too long- they hardly know each other, afterall. sojiro is still figuring out the 'caring for kids' thing, and ren isn't familiar with any kind of parental affection, so some of sojiro's care veers a bit too close to clinical or mechanic, and ren still struggles to communicate what kind of help he needs, but it's enough for now.

for now, sojiro is there. he's trying, and at least ren's getting some colour back on his skin. for now, ren's willing to take a few days off and have some medicine, but he's over-apologetic and definitely tries to make up for his sickness once he's healed. it's gonna take them both a while yet, but luckily there's always their guardian hacker, ready and able to call them out when needed (and maybe some day she'll be able to keep an eye on ren and sojiro in person)

#ask #also the idea of it being futaba who first realises going on?? developing hers and ren's bond before they even meet??#june i love your brain have i ever mentioned #such a gem even when it h u r t s (which is obviously only ever ALWAYS <3)#us : *sees angsty p5 game content* it's free real estate!#i want ren to have a HUG and REASSURANCE and also a bowl of soup #instead he gets dusty attic and milk-crate bed and instant noodles he packed for emergencies :c #persona 5 #p5 #persona 5 headcanons #ren amamiya #futaba sakura #sojiro sakura #oh also also!! imagine how sojiro might feel about his early-game behaviour by late-game/post-canon??#ohhh i bet he'd hate it and there'd be so much self-blame/loathing there #parent guilt and all that good stuff y'know #futaba? seeing herself in early-game ren? ren? seeing himself in palace-futaba? sorry they make me soft and emotional your honour #i love my coffee family but i love it more flavoured with all the issues they haven't yet worked through #once again THIS WASNT MEANT TO BE SO LONG

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ingravinoveritas · 4 months

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Amazing that Staged received Best Returning Comedy. But Anna and Georgia didn’t even acknowledge Best Comedy Partnership!

It’s like they only care about acknowledging the award for their contribution, not the award for their partner’s contribution?

In all of this I know Im reading too much into it. It seems like they’re adamant about removing the narrative about the men in their lives who earn the dosh because you know, they’re white (occasionally) cis men.

But does it not come across as toxic feminism when you deliberately try to ignore men’s achievements? When in fact they deserve the applause and awards?

Hi there! Well, in complete fairness, Georgia did share the video of her and David accepting the Best Comedy Partnership Award (and AL subsequently re-shared it from Georgia as an Insta story):

And I think Georgia was being a good sport with the Michael Sheen cardboard cutout (as it was an obvious callback to them doing this very same thing when Michael and David won this award in 2021).

What I'm really fascinated by, though, is everything that has followed this, including this bizarre back-and-forth between Georgia and Anna in their Insta stories:

I'm not even fully sure what is happening here, but it seems like another attempt on Anna and Georgia's part at being "flirty"/suggestive like Michael and David, but not managing to come even remotely close to them. "Needy" also seems to be Georgia's new favorite phrase, as she previously called Ty that on one of her posts, and while a case could be made for it to be some sort of mother/son banter there, I'm having a difficult time not seeing it as a read here.

And then for Anna to double-down and re-share that and actually call herself "greedy"? I guess she's trying to cover all of the seven deadly sins, since we've already had vanity (pride), so now it's time for greed. The problem is, all of the above with Georgia comes across as so forced and fake, and nothing like the genuine, natural warmth and affection and attraction that exists between Michael and David.

All of this then culminated in Georgia sharing one of AL's photo shoot pictures to another Insta story, with the hashtag #mywife:

Obviously, this immediately calls to mind the multiple instances of Georgia calling David Michael's "other wife" for the last three years (and David now saying it himself as well). But where it seems like that nickname came about as a result of people seeing that powerful connection between Michael and David and Georgia not being able to ignore it and therefore choosing to acknowledge it in her own way, I get the sense that that is not the case for this hashtag.

It also does not escape my or other people's notice that all this happened today right when the I Talk Telly awards were announced, nor that it just feels so completely planned. It feel self-congratulatory, as if this was meant for Georgia and AL to congratulate themselves primarily (again echoes of "They're everything...and they're just Ken"). And while I'm not sure I would categorize it as "toxic feminism," it strikes me as strange that there is this repeated need to seemingly put Michael and David down in order for AL and Georgia to lift themselves up.

Again, could I be completely wrong here? Absolutely. But it just seems like there is too much strangeness here to overlook...

#kime11e #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #georgia tennant #it's also interesting to me that no one seems to be noticing that Michael's voice is entirely absent from all of this #he's not hyping up Staged and he's certainly not hyping up AL's photo shoot #curiouser and curiouser #thinking back to the photos from last week #and how it was her and Georgia and Michael/David #i think she resented being stuck with Georgia while Michael had time alone with David #and was just wanting to promote herself #which we now see #but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds #anna lundberg #discourse

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walmart-miku · 6 months

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damn not anime making me cry again

This scene

IS SO FUCKING INTAMATE IM!!!!

LOOK AT HOW SOFT THEY ARE IM CRYING FULL ON SOBBING OVER THEM THEY BEAT THE FUCKING STSTEM GOOD FOR THEM

#The anime is #the apothecary diaries #It's so fucking good go watch it people #Anyways context for this is that the woman is a concubine #And she's being sold off to a military officer (the guy) For his amazing war feats #But they actually planed it #The woman avoided the Emperor by making herself as unassuming as possible and batching her dance performance for him #And the guy did his best to become good enough to get her back #Also she faked being crazy by sleepwalking to keep the Emperor away till the very end #And they're also childhood friends #I'm sorry I just can't get over how soft they look at each other #Yeah we only see them for one episode #But I wish them complete happiness #The played the system and got what they wanted

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doctorwhoarchive · 7 months

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little Sam hc: she was obsessed with the book green eggs and ham bc of the line “I am Sam, Sam I am”

once Tara was born Sam read it to her practically every night, it eventually grew to be one of Tara’s favorites as well bc it reminded her of her favorite person

#now imagine when Sam leaves Tara starts reading that book to herself every night #she knows she’s too old for it now and she hasn’t picked up the book in years #and Sam hasn’t read it to her since their dad left #but if she tries hard enough she can imagine Sam’s still there and is the one reading it to her #I thought of a soft hc for once and instantly went hmm how can I make this worse #sam carpenter #tara carpenter #carpenter sisters #scream

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mossflower · 3 months

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ough. vrisrezi. if you even care

#got up to [s] terezi: remem8er in my reread. had to take a break #ik i said homestuck is at it’s best in act 5 act 2 and i stand by that in terms of like. plot #but emotionally?? this part of the comic - the flash and the few pages preceding it - wins hands down #it’s about the childhood friends and the cycle of violence and living up to a legacy #it’s about someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story #except there *is* another version of this story!! one where you don’t kill her!! but she still leaves!!#and you vow to spend the rest of your life searching for her!! is this thing on!!#and part of what makes the flash hit so hard is that the versions of terezi and vriska that find each other are from doomed timelines!!#it’s the terezi that killed vriska and regretted it ever since #and the vriska that got killed. and as a ghost she grew as a person and let herself be soft and vulnerable with someone #only to get utterly verbally eviscerated by the ‘real’ vriska for letting herself do that. letting herself be happy #something something. the terezi and vriska that find each other and get to be happy with each other are doomed #and their seperation is a necessary part of the ‘real’ timeline. i can’t FUCKING do this anymore #homestuck #vrisrezi

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novelconcepts · 2 years

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There is so much nuance to the ep 6 scene between KJ and Lauren, I can’t get over it.

the motion older!KJ makes as they walk out, reaching for Lauren, realizing just in time that they are, in fact, in her hometown in Ohio and cutting short before she can land what was probably going to be an instinctive kiss

KJ coming in hot with the world’s most polite “hello!” and managing to make what must feel lightly like small talk for thirty seconds before dropping her voice to this shy, slightly-terrified question

the inability to hold eye contact. the faltering, wordless noises. the way she blinks like she’s seconds from just passing out in the middle of this theater--that is exactly how it feels to come out to someone for the first time. the edges of your vision go a little fuzzy, your heart is in your throat, you genuinely feel shaky, and all of that is so present in this performance

the sense of mild defeat in how she just lands on “movies” instead of “girls”, like she’s embarrassed she can’t just say it

the gentle ah hah expression on Lauren’s face as she realizes what this petrified kid is trying to ask her, and how smoothly she doesn’t correct her--just rolls with this safe code word

KJ’s nod and very tiny “uh-huh” without moving like any part of her face. like she’s reverting to standing as still as possible, protective coloring coming up in every inch of her frame

Lauren actually taking a minute to think about it before answering. and and then not giving the answer KJ asked for--”how did YOU know”--but what KJ actually needs to hear. what any kid in her position would: not everyone will get it, but everyone’s journey is their own, and there is no rush

(again, this is why I’m so delighted they wrote it the way they did--KJ and Lauren, not KJ and older!KJ, because older!KJ would have a definitive answer to give. it might be “I always knew, in the back of my mind” or it might be “when I was eighteen and kissed a girl for the first time”, but whatever the answer, it would cement KJ back into a box. this is your future, immutable, and there is no journey you could take that I haven’t already gone on. I’m so fucking glad they didn’t do this, that they let her have the reassurance that any timeline is the right one if it’s hers.)

again, that flutter-blink/quick breath combo that looks like she’s gonna pass out--but this time, there’s relief in it. it’s less “how do I say this Huge Thing” and more “oh thank god, she knows what I’m asking, she knows without me saying, and she’s being kind”

It is beautifully put together, such a gentle way of saying to this baby gay, “Nobody can tell you who you are except you, but whoever that winds up being is so okay. Listen to yourself. Trust yourself. You will be happy, I promise you.” It is a critical bit of advice so many queer people just don’t get, and to write it into KJ’s story is one of the show’s biggest kindnesses.

#paper girls #paper girls spoilers #kj brandman #i love this scene so much. i love that lauren doesn't try to make it about herself in the least #she could tell her story here--but that isn't what KJ actually needs #so instead she gives her reassurance that there's nothing wrong with what she's feeling and that it really does feel amazing to be in love #even if that love isn't what she might have expected for herself #i also just love that lauren is in her early 20s and maybe has never HAD a young kid ask this before--and you can kind of feel it #in the hesitation and the slight fumble before she lands on what is most likely what she would have needed to hear at that age #admittedly--god love her--she clearly lacks a few passive perception points #because there are so many pictures of young KJ in her girlfriend's house that she HAS to have seen them #but we forgive her this observational oversight because she's so lovely in these scenes #and it really does a great job of painting the feeling that she's drawn to this kid--who is the child version of her girlfriend--#without EVER once being creepy about it. it's just 'oh this sweet kid i want to protect her'. a lesser show would have fucked that up #'ah she says she's KJ's cousin. they have exactly the same face at different stages of pokemon evolution but sure yeah that tracks'#'how can i help?'#again i LOVE the comics. i love them so much. but this is the same kind of gentle change as giving mac her brother for a while #it's screaming from the rooftops that these kids are not as alone as they feel #and i'm so soft about it

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seariii · 3 months

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Wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife babygirl wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife love wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife princess wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife honey wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife

#im gonna kiss the mental break down out of her #i love women...#hecho con amor #wife <3 #im not ready to wake up yet tho... nor to face the consequences of that message....#i wanna hug Kotoko.... gently hold her in my arms while we lay down on our bed. ill run my fingers through her hair and place little kisses #on her head 'its going to be okay. im here with you' i whisper softly 'you arent alone. you did what you could'#i just wanna hug her so gently and give her the soft treatment she deserves...#heh .... im now imagining the full fledged scene... at the very end of it just a soft #'thank you for trusting me. i know it wasn't easy. im proud of you for trying'#because she would be so hesitant to say anything...barely able to show herself like thst in front of anyone..m she truly is making an effort #heh and after s couple seconds of silence after that thank you i can see her hugging slightly tighter #burying her face on my chest/neck area and sighing 'i dont like this' as in being emotionally vulnerable #'thank you for doing it still' i would whisper back to her softly #lets see if i can still sleep for a bit more

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drarrily-we-row-along · 2 years

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11. Barefoot

Harry'd never seen Draco with a single hair, a single button out of place.

It was fucking hot, if Harry was being honest, which why wouldn't he be? At least in the privacy of his own head.

Draco was always posh, always pristine; tailored robes and tailored suits, shoes always shined, platinum hair in a perfectly coiffed undercut. It drove Harry wild; desperate to muss him up a bit.

And nothing. Absolutely nothing could have prepared him for what he was currently seeing.

Draco Malfoy was standing by the pool, a strand of (silky, soft) hair hanging over his eye, shirt unbuttoned halfway down his (ridiculously toned) chest, his linen trousers rolled up to expose his (unfairly delicate) ankles. And he was barefoot.

Godric. Harry didn't have a thing for feet but something about seeing Draco's made him want to fall to the ground at his feet and never move. They were very pretty, honestly; delicate, long, slender, with graceful high arches. And it made him look strangely vulnerable.

Harry ached with it.

"Potter," Draco said, long fingers snapping at him.

His eyes snapped up to Draco's face to find the other man smiling at him in that peculiar way he did sometimes. All exasperated fondness, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Mmm?" he managed inelegantly.

"How drunk are you? It's like you were staring through me into all of time and space," he chuckled as he planted himself beside Harry on the edge of the pool and dipped his feet into the water.

(read more below the cut)

"Very," Harry lied because he couldn't very well admit that he'd just been staring longingly at Draco's feet.

Draco tilted his head toward the drink in Harry's hand, "What do you spike sparkling water with?"

Harry blinked over at him, he always forgot how bloody observant the other man was. "Vodka," he lied quickly.

The corner of Draco's mouth curved up and he took a breath but then seemed to think better of it. "Everyone's around the fire pit," he commented.

"Yes," he agreed.

"Except you."

He hummed, not sure what response Draco was looking for from him.

"And me," he added.

Harry turned his head so he could look at him properly.

"Are you actually drunk, Harry?"

He swallowed, wondering what his answer should be, wondering what Draco wanted him to say. "Why?" is what came out of his mouth a few seconds later.

"Because you're even more forthcoming when you're drunk than usual."

It was his turn to smile at the other man, "What are you hoping I'll say?"

Draco stared at him for a long moment before wrapping his lips around the mouth of his beer bottle and finishing it in one long pull.

He couldn't help but watch the way his neck muscles worked as he swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing. The urge to lean in, to lick, to suck, to nibble on the other man's long neck was almost overpowering.

Then, when he'd finished his beer he stood up and Harry shifted back on his hands so he could see what he was doing.

Draco's fingers went to the buttons on his shirt and Harry's mouth went dry, his own fingers tingling with desire. He made quick work of them before pulling his shirt off, and Harry was met with the sight of a lightly muscled chest, and two petal pink nipples. Harry's mouth had dropped open but he didn't really think there was anything he could possibly do to stop it.

When he finally managed to draw his eyes upward, Draco was smirking at him, one eyebrow raised. "I'm going to go for a swim," he said, and his hands moved to his trousers, unbuttoning and unzipping before hooking his thumbs in the waistband and pulling them off. He stood there for one moment, in nothing but a pair of very tight boxers that left little to the imagination, before saying, "join me?" and jumping into the pool.

Harry sat there stunned, uncertain if he was hallucinating (it wouldn't be the first time he'd accidentally eaten a hallucinogen at Luna's), and feeling like he must be losing his entire mind.

But what a way to go, he couldn't help but think as Draco resurfaced and finger combed his hair back out of his eyes. He watched as a drop of water rolled down his high cheek bone, then down his neck, sluicing along his clavicle, before dripping into the pool. He tread water and stared at Harry, waiting.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

A look of hurt flashed in his eyes before he covered it, so quickly that if Harry hadn't spent decades of his life watching Draco, he would have missed it.

"I mean," he swallowed, might as well at this point, "you're not just fucking with me?"

"How would this be fucking with you?" Draco asked, spreading his arms wide.

He pulled his shirt off over his head and stood to yank down his shorts before jumping in after Draco. When he popped his head back above the water, Draco was only a few feet away, watching him with a little smile at the corner of his mouth. "You should know," he said conversationally, "that I am not a terribly good swimmer."

Draco was at his side a heartbeat later, hands bracketing Harry's ribs as he buoyed him to the surface a bit, treading and keeping himself afloat with only his legs. "I'm a very good swimmer," he murmured, his voice low and a bit rough.

"Tell me why we're swimming together," he blurted.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked, head tilting to the side like he was really trying to understand the puzzle that Harry was.

"Not to me," he replied.

Draco re-angled his body a bit and pushed Harry backward, swimming until Harry's back hit the side of the pool and then pressing their bodies together. "Luna had a drink," he said.

Harry, whose head was very much elsewhere, attempting to catalogue the hard planes of Draco's body pressed against his own, made a vague "Oh?" sound.

He nodded, "Had a bit of felix in it, apparently."

"And-" Harry started, his heart pounding in his chest as he waited for Draco to continue.

"It led me to you," he murmured. "And honestly?"

He nodded, trying not to let his mind race to improbable conclusions.

"I've fancied you for ages."

"You have?" he blurted, looking between Draco's eyes, trying to discern any semblance of an untruth.

"I have," he murmured, bending forward so that his lips brushed over Harry's jaw. "The only question is whether you feel the same."

"How is that a question?" he asked, tipping his head back to allow Draco's mouth to brush tantalizingly over his skin. "Of course I do."

"Do you?" he asked, voice just a little afraid, "or is it the alcohol?"

"I'm not drunk," he said, cupping Draco's cheek and drawing him back far enough that they could look at each other. "I had one beer, two hours ago."

"So it wouldn't be taking advantage if I kissed you?"

Harry didn't think, didn't say another word, he just wrapped his arms around Draco's neck and pulled him in closer so their lips could touch.

The other man's body surged against his, kissing him deep and slow in a way that made Harry feel like he was floating through the universe, the only thing tethering him was the hard wall of the pool against his back.

Merlin only knew how long they might have gone on kissing if it weren't for the sound of merrymakers coming up from the fire pit. But as it was, Draco pulled back and said, "I really don't particularly want to see anyone else."

"Me either," he replied, glancing over his shoulder.

"Come back to mine?" he offered. "We don't have to-"

He leaned in and kissed him again, giddy with the possibility of more time together, of more kisses. "Yes," he murmured against Draco's lips. "Let's just figure out the rest once we get there."

"You're sure?"

Harry laughed, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life.

And it wasn't until the sun was peaking through the blinds in Draco's living room the next morning that either of them remembered they'd left their clothes lying on the deck by the pool.

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