#and maybe howard was less of an asshole

[septembersghost]

It really is so tragic that Jimmy and Howard (hell throw in Kim who was patronised so much and saw her mother in how Chuck was such an asshole in private) never commiserated over how much Chuck could take advantage of them. They’d never do it, but so much could have been avoided maybe

i saw a post earlier that really spoke to this story to me: "[tragedy as a genre] means everyone is problematic. All the characters make significant mistakes that have terrible consequences, which might have been averted had they chosen differently. Every character, every institution - they are all flawed and they're supposed to be flawed. It doesn't matter which flaws you, personally, find more or less acceptable. They all have cracks a mile wide. That's the point."

it is terrible, because honestly jimmy and howard could've helped provide some measure of support to one another if they'd been willing to open up and admit to the damage chuck caused them, and the negative ways in which he made them act out. both of them looked up to chuck, and he let them down or misused that admiration. chuck manipulated both of them ridiculously unfairly.

i also think it's underestimated a bit the damage that did to kim, because chuck didn't directly impact her as much as howard did by proxy, but it still took a real toll on her. (the patronizing and the hypocritical actions for sure.) looking at a man she respected and realizing how hollow it was. i agree with you that so much could've been avoided if any of them had had the capacity to sit down and talk and work through some things together. even just jimmy and kim themselves - them striking out at howard is very much about chuck. howard was the one who had to tell jimmy HHM wouldn't hire him, make himself the bad guy, even though that wasn't his decision, he still did it (same for the way he acts in the meeting about sandpiper, though they discover much more quickly then that chuck is behind it). howard's punishment of kim by putting in her doc review is wildly unfair and condescending, but i think in a way she's ultimately more hurt and disturbed by the way jimmy was treated, since we know how she would jump to his defense. she can dig herself out, she asserts that, she works hard to prove that, but the only way she knows to help jimmy is to unflinchingly take his side.

howard is like the symbol of the way things went wrong - chuck's illness and death prevent them from being able to fully process their anger at him or even to place the weight of blame they may have felt on him, so it redirects to howard. at a certain point, i don't feel that it was even much about howard anymore, not him as a person, it was what he represented - the white collar legal world that kept shutting them out, or that they saw function unfairly; chuck's mistreatment and betrayal, and the lack of respect jimmy got from him no matter how desperately he wanted it (as jimmy admitted at the memorial); someone who seemingly never had to struggle and fight for everything he had because he was privileged and his career was preordained (this negates whether howard actually wanted it at all, but when looking at someone so fortunate like that, especially when you're coming from a much more difficult/disadvantaged background, it's hard not to envy it or view it as easy for them, and to not feel a lot of sympathy for them. i'm not saying that's a fair reaction, but it is a very typical and human one. obviously the way they then acted out was beyond the pale and wrong, but the origin of that resentment is not hard to unpack). of course they thought he'd simply bounce back, guys like that always do, don't they? howard kept trying to "fix" it in ways that came across as...pity? and even a bit self-centered - offering jimmy the job, or when kim is angry at him for acting like he's some kind of white knight, it's because those particular appeals aren't what they needed and struck them as somewhat humiliating, and howard, though he tried, couldn't quite grasp that. all three of them were coming from such individually skewed perspectives, from such different places in the world and from their experiences, from such different kinds of hurt. those aren't impossible gaps to bridge if you're willing to be honest and show empathy towards one another, but the outcome is tragic because none of them can get to that place.

#i'm so sad for all of them 💔 #anonymous #letterbox #jimmy mcgill #howard hamlin #kim wexler #chuck mcgill #better call saul #bcs spoilers #howard's final speech to them kind of underscores to me how much they're unable to perceive one another #he's justifiably angry but he's viewing them in the worst possible sense and it's not true #and the way they viewed and lashed out at him also wasn't true #they kept misjudging one another instead of reaching out to one another

[themculibrary]

Kid Fic Masterlist

A.I.s and Lullabies (ao3) - Echo N/R, 4k

Summary: Tony is suddenly a quiet, wary five year old boy. The rest of the team are less than completely sure about what to do about that.

All The Leaves Are Brown (And the sky is gray) (ao3) - AvocadoLove steve/bucky T, 17k

Summary: The Winter Soldier's mission is nearly complete. Howard and Maria Stark are dead, leaving him to dispatch their four-year-old child. One quick twist of the neck is all it will take, but the Soldier finds he cannot do it.

So instead of killing Tony Stark, the Winter Soldier takes him away to raise as his own.

Blue Lips, Blue Veins (ao3) - romanoff steve/tony E, 300k

Summary: Tony Stark is Iron Man.

Before that, he was an man with bigger heart than brain. Before that, he was an asshole with a bigger mouth than sense. And before that, he was was a scared little boy. Not that it matters. Stark's always have had iron in their backbone.

But the Heart (ao3) - kahn steve/tony T, 23k

Summary: "Okay. So. Kids. It can't be too hard, right? People dumber than us raise kids all the time. Not much to them. Just feed them, water them, distract them with shiny things and make sure they aren't unsupervised for too long. Speaking of which, how long has tiny-spawn been alone in your kitchen?"

Steve and Tony (and The Avengers!) from the movie!cast + child!Peter Parker with a very AU backstory involving genetic experimentation aboard an abandoned space station (but that doesn't--strangely enough--feature all that heavily).

Charged (ao3) - cydonic steve/bucky E, 47k

Summary: Steve Rogers has more money than he knows what to do with, a gorgeous penthouse apartment, and two beautiful girls who have terrorised every previous nanny into resignation. Bucky Barnes is an accomplished sex worker with a mountain of ill-advised debt, who just so happens to have helped raise his four sisters alongside his mother.

It’s a common mistake to make, thinking the beautiful man at your door is the new nanny for your twin girls and not an escort hired by your friend to keep you company for the night.

Right?

Counterpart (ao3) - sara_holmes steve/tony M, 217k

Summary: coun•ter•part [koun-ter-pahrt] [noun] 1. a person or thing closely resembling another, especially in function. 2. a copy; duplicate. 3. one of two parts that fit, complete, or complement one another.

Just because Hydra used the DNA of a Captain America from another dimension to create a lab-grown, six-year-old super-soldier, it doesn't mean that said six-year old super-soldier is biologically Steve's, right?

(Where Steve wants to ban Clint from bringing things home from alternative dimensions, until he doesn't.)

Cupboards and Cryogenics (ao3) - YodelingProspector T, 218k

Summary: When HYDRA sends The Winter Soldier to bring them the four-year-old Boy Who Lived, the outcome is not what they expected.

Don't You Worry About My Immortal Soul (ao3) - michaelandthegodsquad steve/bucky E, 20k

Summary: It's 1945; Bucky comes home from the war to find his best friend pregnant with no husband in sight, and takes it upon himself to step in as partner/husband/father/whatever else Stevie needs to raise her kid in peace.

Things are great, for a while. Living in suburbia with Stevie, Bucky finds himself with a steady job and the family he never thought he'd have. But Bucky can only keep up the act for so long until buried feelings and newly discovered kinks weigh him down with guilt and a hefty dose of self-loathing that send him on a downward spiral and begin to threaten the life he's built with Stevie.

Luckily, Stevie recognizes what Bucky needs and doesn't mind giving it to him, no matter how taboo it may be.

like-like (ao3) - nanasekei steve/tony G, 5k

Summary: Morgan doesn’t really know Captain America.

Maybe Baby (I’ll Have You) (ao3) - musette22 steve/bucky T, 6k

Summary: It’s Monday morning, and Bucky is just preparing a large mocha, extra whip for one of the many exchange students that have been finding their way into his shop lately, when the little bell above the door rings and a large man carrying a tiny baby in a papoose walks in.

My Arms Were Made To Hold You (ao3) - portraitofemmy, rainbow_marbles steve/bucky E, 55k

Summary: Tired of being kept awake at night by a screaming baby, Bucky decides to take matters into his own hands. Mostly he wants a good night's sleep, but what he gets is a beautiful baby boy with big blue eyes, a lonely father trying to move on from tragedy, and a chance at a family he never expected to have.

Pumpkin Slime (ao3) - ABrighterDarkness steve/sam T, 7k

Summary: “Hi,” she chirped distractedly. Her brows furrowed in a way that emphasized the worried pout on her expression. The girl, seemingly without thought, reached up, her small hand curling around his fingers even as she stretched up onto her tiptoes and craned her neck to scan the busy orchard.

Sam frowned and took a moment to steal his own glance at his surroundings in an attempt to find one or both of the girl’s parents. When his search came up unsuccessful, he crouched down again, bringing himself down enough to match her level but carefully not dislodging her hold on his hand. “Where’s your parents?”

The girl looked back at him and gave a shrug, “I don’t know. Daddy’s big though. I’ll find him.”

Shyest (ao3) - biblionerd07 steve/bucky T, 29k

Summary: SHIELD discovers that HYDRA took a DNA sample from Captain America and a DNA sample from the Winter Soldier and tried to breed a perfect supersoldier. Steve and Bucky suddenly find themselves the parents of a three-year-old boy who won't speak.

Signs of Life (ao3) - aven_garde steve/tony, bruce/natasha, bucky/clint M, 40k

Summary: Tony Stark gets thrown into a new world when a one- night stand ends with him having a son. When it's discovered that Peter is deaf due to his mother's mistakes while pregnant, Tony vows to become the father he never had. Fortunately, he's got the Avengers to step up as a team— and a family.

Sinking Our Teeth In The Heart Of The Sun (ao3) - fallendarlings steve/bucky, sharon/natasha E, 102k

Summary: Bucky Barnes never intended to become a single father at 25. But life has always enjoyed kicking him while he’s down and it’s showing no signs of stopping. A chance meeting with a brick wall of a guy named Steve in the formula aisle of the grocery store leads to a friendship it seems like both of them need. If only Bucky could remember that’s all they are- friends. If only Steve didn’t slot into their lives so perfectly and look so good spoiling Bucky’s daughter (and Bucky, despite his protests).

Oh, if only Steve didn’t turn out to be Captain America.

Steve Rogers is wandering around a world that he doesn’t fit into, fighting for a government that he doesn’t trust, just because he doesn’t know what to do with himself if he ever relaxes long enough to actually think about anything other than the next mission.

And then came Bucky Barnes and his newborn baby.

There's A History Between Us (and people think it's mine) (ao3) - IamShadow21 steve/tony T, 4k

Summary: A moment is all it takes to open up the box and confirm his suspicion.

“I think you're right, Cap,” Tony says. “This isn't my area.”

this is not a drive by (ao3) - plutos steve/bucky N/R, 24k

Summary: "God, he can’t stop smiling, and it must be infectious because a slow grin is stretching across Steve’s face, and now he’s the one looking at Bucky from up under his eyelashes and asking, “How have we not met before?”

And, really, that’s the question isn’t it."

Otherwise known as: The Bucky Barnes Hot Dad AU or The One Where Steve Crashes All Of Bucky's Dates Without Really Trying

Winter's Children (ao3) - Neery steve/bucky E, 66k

Summary: When their attempts to recreate the super soldier serum failed, Hydra started trying to breed Captain America clones from his genetic samples. Unfortunately, the serum's effects aren't passed down genetically, so instead of an army of tiny Captain Americas, they get a bunch of tow-headed, asthmatic, allergic, immuno-compromised little Steves.

And then the Winter Soldier stumbles across Hydra's failed experiment...

#themculibrary #mcu #marvel #au #kidfic #kidfic masterlist #parent #parent masterlist #masterlists

[thekimspoblog]

Me: Rewatching "Ralph the Movie Maker"

@somethin-stupid-67: can't say I've ever seen it! any good?

Me: He's an asshole but he's funny. "Bye Bye Man" and "Nine Lives" are some of my favorites. I love bad movies

67: I'll have to give some of his stuff a watch then :) did you know you reposted a Howard fan edit lol

Me: I don't have a problem with fans who LIKE Howard. I just feel like fans underestimate the scope of his wrongdoing, probably because they've never been fucked by a greedy lawyer themselves.

67: look, I can acknowledge that he was completely awful trying to convince the Sandpiper residents to not settle with the possibility of more money (which would've been more for EVERYONE, not just the residents)... but at the end of the day I can't help but have a soft spot for the guy. total prick, but more than anything I love him because he's such a good foil (maybe not the right term?) to Jimmy. just took me by surprise, is all. never expected positive Howard content on your feed because I know how you feel about the guy lol

Me: I've been thinking a lot recently about the "I save me" scene. How Jimmy wanted to sue HHM for discrimination, which is the right and legal way to handle that conflict, and Kim tells him "No!" because she (correctly) believes that the firm holds so much sway in the local community, that even if she wins HHM will retaliate by blacklisting her.

There are so many moments in this show that depict HHM as a  business with a pristine (but unearned) reputation, to the point that anyone who had a grievance with them would have no legal recourse. And I feel like fans don't appreciate how dangerous that level of corruption is. My point isn't that Howard is a bastard man who should burn in hell. Rather, that Jimmy and Kim vindictively destroying this business was a net good, because regional monopolies like this cannot be allowed to exist.

I love the "I save me" scene, but I feel like most fans completely miss the point of it. Kim is not a girlboss in that scene; she is being silly, refusing help or to handle the situation by the books, and is stubbornly insisting on working harder when she needs to work smarter (or quit!). The scene ends with a wide angle shot showing how small and isolated she is in Doc Review. This is not an empowering moment; it's an expression of the character flaws Kim will have to overcome in the following seasons.

67: sometimes I come back to that as well, how Kim really thought she did something with "I save me" but all she ends up doing is working twice as hard at an establishment that doesn't seem to value her... and Kim? if you want to get technical about it, you don't save you... I'm pretty Mike does that

Me: I think her character is an inventive take on the "strong independent woman" trope because her character arc seemed to be about how she doesn't need a "man" but everyone needs a friend Sure, she recommended Jimmy to Davis&Main and then Jimmy went and did some stupid shit and broke rank. But when she told them "He didn't consult me about the commercial either. I asked him if he had permission to air it and he lied to my face" that should have been the end of the investigation. This is an overreaction to insubordination in the first place, but it was completely inappropriate to punish her for Jimmy's actions.

And Chuck makes explicit the fact that he's been using the firm's resources to discourage the relationship because he has a giant virgin/whore complex about her.

Howard was LESS misogynistic but still had plenty of moments doing micro aggressions at her. To be clear, I think Howard is a great character and Patrick did a great job acting him. He's an interesting flavor of unlikeable, if nothing else. But like Gale Boetecher, just seemed too soft to survive in this cruel world.

67: the stuff with the commercial did make me pretty upset, I won't lie. definitely thought the same thing, Kim was in the same boat with everyone else at that moment, the only difference being she saw the commercial before it aired but she didn't know it aired! and more than anything, I was pissed everyone absolutely lost their minds because... it was actually a pretty damn good commercial Cliff Main's freaking out about how it's his name in the commercial and I get maybe (definitely) Jimmy should've shown literally anybody from either firm aside from Kim... but I fear the commercial "ate", as the kids say

Me: I just think it's very obvious that if Kim had been a man and she was just friends with Jimmy, she wouldn't have gotten all this flack. HHM is an example of why men CANT be allowed to own businesses.

I've been rewatching The Office superfan episodes. So of course the entire time I'm imagining an AU where Jim and Pam finally took it too far and accidentally killed Michael and Dwight. Do you think Pam would also have a nervous break and leave for six years?

67: in the context of their canon relationships... absolutely. if Michael and Dwight are taking their frustrations out on her when it's Jim they're pissed off with and they're trying to sabotage both of their careers... then I'd say it's somewhat justified. absolutely she'd have a nervous break, I mean. unless we're talking full on crossover w/ the plot

Me: I was thinking we mostly stick with the canon. Although in the early seasons Michael did need to die It's crazy how much got cut from the final episodes. Dinner is in the oven. Chicken and potatoes

67: ooh that sounds delicious! had a big sandwich at like 4 so now I'm eating leftover mac and cheese

Me: Cool

67: chicken and potatoes sounds a hell of a lot better

Me: Of course I also have an old screenplay I was working on for a version of the office set in the universe of portal 2 But yeah no I should totally write that other fic too it would be cute

67: I don't think I ever got a chance to play the portal games, but you know I'm a sucker for a good AU so I think both are really solid ideas :)

Me: Portal was my whole thing before BCS. Had such a crush on Stephen Merchant. I guess I just like actors who can give the crazy eyes

67: listen, sometimes all it takes is the crazy eyes for you to be drawn in. I'd say that's a totally valid crush trying to think about what my thing was before BCS... Red Dead 2, I think

Me: Before Portal it was Last Airbender. Before that Phantom of the Opera

67: I think my sister had a Phantom phase, and the Last Airbender is on my list (I've seen a couple of episodes but not nearly as many as I know I should have)

Me: If I had one complaint about ATLA, it's that we didn't get enough of Zuko after he became a good guy

67: I knew he had sort of an anti-hero vibe to him, I think my sister may have also said the same thing. got shamed by her for not seeing all of it, so it's climbing the ranks on my list. haven't been much in the mood for tv, though...

Me: Still say you gotta finish "YOU" and Westworld first

67: those have stayed at the top of the list!

Me: Honestly I'm pretty sure other people have written dark fics where Jim finally bullied Dwight to death. Not saying he would ACTUALLY burn his farm house down with him inside it... but it wouldn't be out of character. Michael getting killed by a mobster was actually an ending the writers considered tho Pam goes to Florida, Jim stays behind as the new regional manager, gets all old and cynical. On a related note, FotD is Jimmy coming home from the doctor and mentioning that he apparently had skin cancer. They caught it early, easy to remove. But still scary. He didn't want to tell Kim... so he had to. Didn't want her to worry.

67: I think you may have mentioned that before, Jimmy and the skin cancer scare. is there any inspiration for this FotD, or is just Jimmy suffering the long-lasting effects of life in the desert?

Me: Yes the second one Just have to keep lopping parts off as time goes on How do you think she'd react? ... On second thought, I imagine it would actually be pretty hard for Pam and Jim to get away with a murder with that camera crew always following them around...

67: I feel like knowing Jimmy, he's gonna make some smartass comment about it or try to play it off as something that really isn't that serious, which is what upsets Kim more than anything. then again, a cancer scare is still a cancer scare, so maybe he won't crack a joke about it after all... almost forgot about the camera crew damn lol

Me: He'd probably joke about it. But they both agree not to tell the kids. I imagine they've been pretty vigilant with all those invasive exams... If you catch my drift

67: drift is caught! but yeah, Jimmy's cracking jokes about it for sure. in my head, I'm picturing something to the effect of "I've been kidnapped (multiple times) and been brought out to the middle of nowhere to find a gun aimed at my head, I hiked several days through the desert with 7 million in cash, I did HARD TIME... I'll be damned if the thing that actually takes me out is some... toxic freckle."

Me: Cute I mean he's tough as nails gotta give him that. It's why she wanted him back.

You know, I appreciate how much fans on Tumblr agree that he lets her peg him. I'm not saying that doesn't happen; I don't even like pegging I just respect the feminism of it. But people often want the opposite in bed of who they have to be in everyday life, so I think she'd kind of want to give up being in charge sometimes. And of course he's so self-pitying all the time it's a no brainer he wants to feel like a big strong man. She says she doesn't want a white knight, but you can tell she loves having him as her little attack dog.

67: how emotionally attached were you to that ponytail, scale of 1 to 10? thinking also on your text from last night and I think what you're saying makes total sense. Jimmy is a pretty pathetic guy (in the most affectionate meaning of the word), but there's one place that when given the opportunity, he won't disappoint... but I also see it as two sides of the same coin because that man DEFINITELY gets pegged

Me: Very attached to the ponytail

67: I mean Vince does love himself a good bald character... joking! but "drastic haircut" does have me a bit riled up lol

Me: I mean obviously if the ponytail appeared in WYCARO I'd just be confused and angry

67: this is true. that hairstyle was very intentional, it would be weird to see it outside of BCS

Me: The ponytail isn't supposed to return until the "Lets all chant" montage in Ep 3 of SK.

67: oh damn, how could I forget about the "Let's All Chant" montage!

Me: I need gifs so I can make that post

67: still mad I couldn't find the Kim celebration gif to tell you I passed my stats midterm lol

Me: I'm recording all the episodes but I'm only at the beginning of Season 2. Once I'm done, I can make as many in-episode gifs as I want.

67: omg I love the beginning of s2 :) 2x1 is easily one of my fave episodes on the series lol

Me: Running out of space on my computer because I also have seasons 1-3 of You and seasons 1-3 of Westworld recorded for memes. I bought some flash drives from staples to hold this information. But it hasn't arrived yet

#chat #better call saul #mcwexler #the office us #wycaro

[starlingsrps]

something i can be.

there’s a dim light coming from underneath nell’s door when elliot finally doesn’t feel like it’s rude to excuse himself from her family.

he doesn’t think much of them, if he’s being honest. he’s a perfect gentleman - his own mother would have nothing less and it doesn’t cost him anything to be polite - but in his own subconscious, methodical way, he’s unable to stop analyzing. her father calls him major in a way that indicates he gets more enjoyment out of it than elliot ever has and is chummy in a way that grates at him in a way he’ll come to hate and then accept as the years go on. there will always be people on the homefront who take a little too much credit for their support and mr. howard is just the first of many. unfortunate that he’s his future father in law. when he acts like nell has committed a crime by excusing herself for the rest of the night, elliot has to remind himself of that and that calling him an asshole to his face probably isn’t going to win him any points.

he’s amazed her mother manages to stand upright without a spine.

robbie is fine, just a teenager. elliot is used to teenage disgust - maggie’s eye rolls are strong enough to reverse the earth’s gravitational pull. honestly, the two of them would probably get along great. the thought does not comfort him. but he’s a decent enough kid, takes him for five bucks and two cigarettes in cards. elliot isn’t particularly good at cards in the first place but gives himself an extra handicap since he’s worried about nell and lets robbie have it without much of a fight.

she doesn’t seem like herself. he knows being home brings out different things in people but the nell he knows, the nell he loves is steady and warm as the sunrise. if there is a raw edge to her, he’ll love that about her too but…this feels like something else. he knows there are things she saw that weigh on her, the same way things he did weigh on him. he hasn’t quite figured out what he’s going to do about that weight - he will probably need more than the six weeks leave he has before he has to report to figure that out. he doesn’t want her to carry hers alone and maybe that’s love.

he hesitates in the hallway for a moment and considers waiting until the howards have all gone to bed. he’s been patient and polite with them for long enough though, as far as he’s concerned. he steps over the squeaky floorboard that nell had pointed out earlier. he’d asked if she was telling or showing - both, she’d teased. he knocks, short and sharp to announce himself before stepping in.

the dim light comes from a desk lamp and nell is curled on her side facing away from the door. she tenses when the mattress shifts under him but turns to lay on his chest, burrowing under his chin. his hand slides up the back of her sweater, needing the skin on skin contact in a way he can’t explain. he hasn’t been back long enough that it feels permanent yet. holding her centers him, reminds him that he’s here, he made it. she doesn’t speak for awhile and he doesn’t rush her. the stairs creak as someone comes up to bed, the water in the bathroom turns off and on. there’s time now where there wasn’t before, time to just lay here with her and wait until she’s ready to talk.

she sighs and reaches for his hand, twining her fingers with his. “i’m sorry for-“

he shushes her. “no. nothing to be sorry for.”

“was it bad?” she asks finally, her voice muffled by his shirt. 

“robbie got two luckies and five bucks out of me but i let him win.”

there’s a thin, watery laugh against his chest. 

“your mom thinks i’m a nice young man.” his fingertips stroke her spine and he feels her relax, little by little, into him. more stairs creak, the light in the hallway goes off. “your dad’s kind of an ass.”

“i’m-“

he kisses her on top of the head. “you don’t have anything to apologize to me for so i don’t know why you keep doing it.”

she lifts her head to rest her chin on his chest and look at him. her eyes are a little red and puffy and he hates that she was up here crying while he was downstairs forcing politeness. “i don’t want to ruin our time together.” 

“you aren’t. i promise.”

“it feels like i am.”

“whatever you need, tell me,” he says. “you need me to listen, i can listen. you need me to tell you you did everything you could, i can do that.”

“i could have done more.”

it about breaks him in half all over again to hear her say it. god knows he says it himself every damn day but hearing it from her is different. he’d carry the guilt for both of them if he could. he deserves it. it’s been months since he flew a bombing mission and no amount of mercy missions and being told he did his job can make him feel any measure of peace about it. that nell, who took care of the hurt and dying, feels doubt that she did enough, that she did the right thing makes him wonder if there’s any hope for him.

“there’s so much light in you sweetheart,” he murmurs, stroking her thumb with his. “you make me feel so safe and i know they felt that too. you do so much good for everyone else and i wish you saw that.”

her eyes well up and he fears he’s said the wrong thing. he never wants to be the reason she cries but when she kisses him, her lips curve in a small smile. “i love you.”

when she kisses him again, harder and her fingers quick on his shirt buttons, he doesn’t hold her back and sinks with her. 

#type: writing #s: elliot x nell #verse: at the end of the world #look lindsay wrecks me emotionally and i have to do it back that's how it works

[signalwatch]

Grinchy Watch: How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Watched:  12/16/2022

Format:  Amazon Watch Party

Viewing:  First

Decade:  2000's

Director:  Ron Howard

People love this movie.  I was aware of that, but had no interest in the film when it came out. I'd read the book a lot as a kid, and I'm a purist when it comes to Chuck Jones and my enjoyment of his work.  And aside from some of the finest Loony Tunes installments, the annual TV special of How the Grinch Stole Christmas was his signature work.  As a collaborative work (Jones, Seuss, Karloff, Ravenscroft, Poddany) it's hard to top.

Director Ron Howard never saw a project he couldn't make more mediocre by running it through his Hollywoodtron-3000.  He understands the beats of movies, and deploys bombastic music and whatnot to get the audience on board as he takes them through their paces, but the movies always wind up feeling hollow and less than the sum of their parts.  Yes, I know he was funny on Arrested Development.  But I don't know how you take The Grinch and make a faux Tim Burton film that also manages to reframe the original story to such a degree that you miss the point of a children's book.

Look, part of the joke of the original Grinch book is that he's just a bastard.  No one made him that way.  We can speculate about shoe sizes and head fittings, but as far as we're concerned, he's just the local jerk who watches from afar.  He simply is.  But the original book is 64 pages, with a few sentences per page and lots of art.  The movie needs a decent runtime, and so the filmmakers (and Howard is a director, but he's also basically a producer) padded and padded and padded some more!  They padded this out til their padders were sore!

I mean, they had to pad the book for a 20-something minute cartoon version of the book.  

So - we get a backstory for the Grinch where we see maybe it's nature that the Grinch is an asshole, but also it turns out those harmless Who's in Whoville are frightened, judgy assholes who elect the worst of them to run things.  

The movie wants to make a point about how the goal of Christmas is not the presents and garland and all the trimmings - the point made by the book - but it spends 95 minutes telling us otherwise and only one Who and her dad immediately feels this way and Dad has to give a speech to get everyone on board.  We are in full "whipping up an angry mob on A CHILD" territory when the speech is delivered.  

There are multiple other ways to get the Who's to the point of singing around the tree, and this is maybe the worst one?  

But, yeah, by giving us the Grinch's backstory in which he's a bit of an outsider and skeptical of Who-ways, and is humiliated for his first chance to reach out and belong, (a) I'm not clear on how to feel that he runs away from home after a single bad experience, (b) when his adoptive mothers don't walk up a steep hill to come check on him in decades and (c) he is now basically set up to be kinda right about thinking the Whos suck.  Because they do.  

Unlike the book, The Grinch is not just a bastard who hates Christmas because it's for simps and kids - it was weaponized to hurt him, not once but twice.  And on the second round, when he comes down to give the Who's a shot, they all jointly are either messing with him or enabling the a-holes.  This movie is not about someone not getting it and then getting it, it's about a whole bunch of people at odds with each other, and it takes place at Christmas.

Weird flex, Ron.  

The point of the Grinch changing his mind in the book and cartoon is a man-v-himself.  He's lived up on that mountain away from society happy to literally look down upon the Whos and made up a whole bunch of assumptions about what the Who's are up to on Christmas as he looks at it from the outside.  This movie makes it Man-v-Who, because he's seen it up close, and he's seen that he's not wrong - aside from Cindy Lou and Lou Who, their Christmas really is about the gifts and roast beast, and the Whos ARE actually that devastated.  This movie essentially reframes the central conflict, resolution and point of the book into a new and far more trite story.  It's not a story about self-realization and growth, it's about capitulation and forgiveness of your tormentors because Christmas.  And if you're going to tell that story, this is a pretty bad way to do it.  Nothing is particularly earned, and the Grinch's revelation atop the mountain with all that stuff seems unfounded.  

The idea of the book is that the decorations and partying is just a way to show the spirit of the season.  In Ron Howard's view, that stuff is what's up front.  An underutilized Molly Shannon and Christine Baranski show how the Who's really have forgotten and it's all about competing with the Joneses.  Its rushing about and presents and politicians blustering in front of crowds. Fairly standard Hollywoof-Hates-Christmas stuff.  

To further fill the time, we're given just an ungodly amount of time watching Jim Carrey improvise as the Grinch, mostly talking to himself in dark rooms (more on that soon).  Weirdly, this is more enjoyable than watching people in Who make-up stand around or "dash about because Christmas".  Carrey is a lot, and so its really up to Howard to work with editors and choose what to keep in the film, and the answer seemed to be "keep all of it".  

Aesthetically, the movie looks like Seuss by way of Burton, but someone who doesn't understand how those aesthetics work.  Of the things I was expecting "permanent midnight Whoville" was not among them.  Why make the wonderful and colorful world of the Who's and then make it lit like we're in Halloweentown?   I get that this is supposed to be the shortest days of the year, but it's also mites living on a snowflake.  I think we're past worrying about the relative position of the Earth and sun.  Give me some color, for chrissake.  This isn't a CGI movie, it's largely practical.

But throw in the (sigh) very 2000-era decision to *constantly* keep the camera moving, which kinda has a POV that is intended to feel topsy turvy, but more feels like the POV of someone on their fourth cocktail.  It's actually very annoying and one of those dumb tricks that's fine if used sparingly, but this is not that.  This is "you like sugar?  Here's a pound of sugar I'll watch you eat."

In my pitch for the Friday Watch Party, I made comments about being confused by Martha May Whovier, played by Christine Baranski.  Well, I've seen the film, and I'm still at a bit of a loss, and it makes me wonder how much was left on the cutting room floor despite the 1:45 runtime.  Yes, we get backstory that Martha May as a pre-teen was crushing on the Grinch (I'll go with it).  But essentially it turns her into the prize to be won between The Mayor (Tambor) and the Grinch, who has no idea Martha May is carrying a torch for him.  It's all very lazy and a reminder of the last gasp of 20th century movies where heroes get the girl for completely unrelated reasons, and the girl is a trophy to be won.  It's... a twist on the original story, certainly.  

But Martha May and Mary Lou Who (Shannon) also seem to have some one-sided rivalry going on with Christmas lights, and that goes nowhere.  We never really hear from Martha May what her deal is.  She's just there to be human looking (I think the only Who-styling she has are some very subtle fake teeth) and aside from that - she's Baranski in pin-up/ glamour styling.  

is not

In those "Grinch: Origins" portions of the film, the kid who would become mayor humiliates the Grinch not just for sport, but because he seems him as the obvious rival to Martha May's affections. And this continues into everyone's adulthood.

I can both totally get what the thinking was (ha ha!  Sexy Who!) and can't figure out why it's so anemic other than that it's a flourish on top of everything else and no one could be bothered.  Nor can I figure out why you get someone who was as established as Baranski was by 2000 and then give her like 4 lines.  It's called giving your female characters agency, Ron.

But Baranski looks fabulous.  It would have been great if they'd just given her actual dialog.

Sure, I'm distracted a bit by the Hot Who question, but it's indicative of the sort of thinking that seems to have permeated the movie.  Who was Martha May Whovier for?  Me?  Thanks, I guess.  

But this is my beef with Howard.  It feels like something imported from another movie.  Why is there sexual jealousy in a Grinch movie?  Especially when it undercuts the semi-weighty story of the original text.  There's no real thought or imagination about it, it's just recycling bits from other movies, with the only thing interesting about it being Carrey's frankly amazing make-up and performance through the make-up.  He's really pretty good here despite it all.

Anyway - all of the reasons I wasn't interested in this movie in 2000 turned out to be accurate.  I couldn't even enjoy the design or bringing Whoville to life, because it was lit like a carnival dark ride and all the backstory winds up detracting from the point of the book.  Don't do this, kids.  If you're going to expand on a slim volume, write down what the point of the book is and make sure everything new feeds into that idea.

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from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/0yCvDiU

[thelittlemars]

Friendly reminder that there is a timeline, out there, in which Tony Stark grew up with his Auntie Peggy and Uncle Steve

#just go and play with your son howard #and maybe howard was less of an asshole #just imagine howard being a terrible father and then steve steps in and kicks his ass #marvel #mcu #mcu theory #mcu headcanon #marvel headcanon #steve rogers #captain america #tony stark #peggy carter #howard stark #pls don't forget that Peggy and Howard are like besties and Peggy would DEFINITEVLY be a part of Tony's childhood

[babeydollx]

1000 Followers Celebration

(Requests Closed)

Oh my fucking god, I honestly can't believe I hit 1k followers. Honestly I am so shocked that I hot 1000 followers I never thought I'd make it this far. I have enjoyed this so much and I love writing fics and I love the amazing community I am in. I am so grateful for this and I owe it all to you guys so, thank you so much for everything.

I have picked and made some prompts. There are three categories which are smut, fluff and then comedy/silly ones. I was also going to add sad and scary prompts but decided against it, might do it soon though. I ask for prompts that the maximum picked per story is 5 and I only picked select characters just because there is a lot of prompts so I tried to pick out some of the most popular characters/people for this.

I will keep my requests open until Monday so you guys can send me your requests through 'ask me anything.' Depending on how many requests I get, it may take me awhile to finish them so please keep that in mind.

Characters I Write For:

Outer Banks:

All Characters can be chosen

OBX Cast:

Rudy Pankow

Drew Starkey

Chase Stokes

Austin North

The Vampire Diaries Universe:

Damon Salvatore

Stefan Salvatore

Katherine Pierce

Caroline Forbes

Lexi Branson

Klaus Mikaelson

Elijah Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

Marcel Gerard

Kai Parker

Rebekah Mikaelson

Riverdale:

Cheryl Blossom

Toni Topaz

Jughead Jones

Reggie Mantle

Veronica Lodge

Betty Cooper

Fangs Fogarty

Euphoria:

Maddy Perez

Cassie Howard

Nate Jacobs

Fezco

Smut Prompts:

1. "Don't make me take you home and punish you."

2. "You look so hot in my clothes."

3. "You're not going out in that outfit."

4. "You want me to give your (phone, book, etc.) back? Make me."

5. "Don't be so rough. You can't leave any marks."

6. "What the hell did you just say to me?"

7. "I'm going to leave hickies all over your body, let everyone know your mine."

8. "Bite me."

9. "Please just let me finish this level and I swear I'll fuck you just how you like it."

10. "You taste like fucking candy."

11. "You're not wearing anything under that, are you?"

12. "I could just pull your bikini bottom to the side, no one will notice."

13. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad."

14. "I'm not jealous! It's just... you're mine."

15. "Say it. Out loud."

16. "You better shut that pretty little mouth before I put it to work, doll."

17. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you'll forget that you ever even met that asshole."

18. "I think that's the first time I've ever herd you moan... it was like a fucking melody."

19. "She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but, I bet behind closed doors she's latex and whips."

20. "Yup, that's me. I love to fuck."

21. "Don't fucking touch what's not yours."

22. "Stop dancing like that or I'm going to cum in my pants."

23. "You look a bit tied up, want me to come back later?"

24. "Please, remind me again why we are having sex behind a tree?"

25. "We've been at it like rabbits! How the fuck are you still horny?!"

26. "Your ass is going to be seven different shades of red after that little stunt."

27. "God damnit! Now all I can think about is you licking my cock like it's that ice cream cone."

28. "Do you think they can hear us through the tent?"

29. "Your more than just a one night stand."

30. "Would you just shut up and kiss me already?"

31. "Let me show you why you should stay in bed."

32. "Can you help me with this zipper?"

33. "I bet you look even better with your clothes off."

34. "Are you trying to turn me on right now? Because it's working."

35. "I'd hold onto something if I were you."

36. "I see you've started without me."

37. "Want a taste?"

38. "Less talking, more fucking."

39. "You're really going to make me beg for it?"

40. "Are you going to eye fuck me all night or are you going to do something about it?"

41. "Please... don't stop."

42. "This cock isn't gonna suck itself."

43. "Please. I need you... now."

44. "Maybe I'd rather take my time with you."

45. "Is there anything you can't do with that tongue?"

46. "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

47. "Oh god, how can you manage to switch from cute to sexy in under a second?"

48. "I know all your weaknesses."

49. "No panties, huh?"

50. "You herd me. Take. It. Off."

51. "Angel in the streets, freak in the sheets."

52. "Can you feel what you're doing to me?"

53. "Holy shit, you're so fucking sexy like that."

54. "How 'bout you come help me out, huh?"

55. "Don't think I'm letting you get away with that, darling."

56. "Dammit, we made a mess."

57. "You're gonna regret that, sweetheart."

58. "Were you dreaming about me again?"

59. "I want to see those pretty little lips wrapped around my cock."

60. "If you wanted sex, all you have to do is ask."

61. "Why are you naked?"

62. "You can't keep pretending like it didn't happen, cause guess what? It did!"

63. "You're mine. I don't share."

64. "If we get caught I'm blaming you."

65. "Stop biting that fucking lip! You know that drives me wild!"

66. "Will you teach me how to kiss?"

67. "Leave the heels on baby, but, just the heels."

68. "Come on, give me a little show."

69. "Y- you want to do it here? Now? What about our guests?"

70. "I bet the neighbors know my name."

72. "I just want you to be happy.... and naked."

73. "You look so beautiful tied up to my bed."

74. "I was wondering how long you two were going to make out like that before you realize you weren't alone."

75. "I want to kiss every inch of your body before I fuck you."

76. "Fuck me like a starved animal or leave."

77. "I want to fulfill that fantasy you've always wanted."

78. "Can I at least shut the door before you decide to pounce on me the moment I come home."

79. "I know you said you didn't want to be late, but you look amazing, and I'm trying not to kiss you senselessly right now."

80. "Kiss me again, like you mean it."

81. "Do you think of me when you touch yourself?"

82. "Do you have dirty dreams of me often?"

83. "Stop before someone sees us!"

84. "Against the window? Are you fucking insane?!"

Fluff Prompts:

1. "Rumor has it, I make you nervous."

2. "You look so cute with your baby bump!"

3. "I'm pregnant."

4. "I want to try for a baby."

5. "You look beautiful in anything."

6. "May I have this dance?"

7. "Do you think it's possible that I... might be... pregnant?"

8. "I have so much love for you. I actually never thought I could feel like this, but you proved me wrong."

9. "Dance with me and pretend the world doesn't exist."

10. "Do you want to know the gender of our baby?"

11. "You're the most important person in my life."

12. "This is going to be the start of something magical."

13. "Thank you for making me a mommy." "Thank you for making me a daddy."

14. "Every inch of you is breathtaking."

15. "I've been excited to see you all day."

16. You're my perfect match."

17. "I'll keep you warm."

18. "Can I have a massage?"

19. "Are you my secret admirer? The one whose been sending me all those flowers and notes?"

20. "Can you pretend to be my partner for my friend's wedding? I told them I'd have a plus one."

21. "I'm in love with you." "Are you finally confessing? Because I feel the same way."

22. "Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together."

23. "Has anyone told you that your eyes sparkle in the moonlight?"

24. "You give my butterflies."

25. "Wait! Baby, my lip gloss is all over your lips."

26. "Would it be alright if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you."

27. "You're always on my mind."

28. "Why are you crying?"

29. "Who hurt you?"

30. "You make me feel alive."

31. "I wouldn't change a thing about you."

32. "Can I play with your hair?"

33. "You look better in my clothes than I do."

34. "My mother adores you."

Funny/Silly Prompts for Smut or Fluff:

1. "You're seriously like a man-child."

2. "Not sure if you could tell but, I'm not exactly a people person."

3. "Just remember if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English."

4. "Stop hogging all the blankets!"

5. "I can't believe you don't like Disney movies."

6. "I'm too sober for this."

7. "Define normal."

8. "Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?"

9. "I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass."

10. "I'm listening to you. I'm just not paying attention."

11. "This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you."

12. "Somebody's cranky." "Somebody needs to shut up."

13. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

14. "All due respect but, that's a bunch of crap."

15. "If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it."

16. "What did I tell you about calling him/her the devil?" "That's offense to the devil?"

17. "You didn't get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly."

18. "If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur."

19. "Sarcasm is the body's natural reaction to stupidity."

20. "Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably."

21. "You're insane, but you might also be brilliant."

22. "What you call insanity, I call inspiration."

23. "Why does everyone assume the worst of me?" "It saves time."

24. "Neither one of us is drunk enough to have this conversation."

25. "Are you questioning my methods?" "I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid."

26. "Wow, somebody needs a happy meal."

27. "I didn't do it!" "Then why are you laughing?!" "Because whoever did it is a fucking genius!"

28. "Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots."

29. "Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit."

30. "It's called thinking, you should try it sometime."

31. "I'm just going to pack up now and go straight to hell."

32. "My ex? Yeah I'd still hit that. Except this time with a car or a baseball bat."

33. "Oh honey, I would but.... I don't want to."

34. "I don't need anger management! I need people to stop pissing me off!"

35. "I didn't steal it, I permanently borrowed it."

36. "You know I hear you talking, but I still don't have my coffee."

37. "Are you drunk?" "Not nearly enough."

38. "At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go."

39. "You really don't know how to talk to woman, do you?"

40. "I'm not sure how many coffees it takes to be happy, but so far, it's not twelve."

41. "Stop texting me such weird stuff in the middle of the night."

42. "We are going to need a fantastic lawyer and a miracle."

43. "I found this porn folder on your laptop- I had no idea you had those kinks."

44. "You'll never guess how many fucking Oreos I've eaten today."

45. "We're not dating, it's barely anything, we just go on dates and make out and have sex and we recently got engaged, but it's nothing too serious."

46. "Are you drunk, stoned, or just stupid?"

47. "I should write a how-to manual, and make you the examples of 'what not to do.'

48. "Once again, I've been lured away by the promise of chocolate."

49. "If this was a romantic comedy, we would have kissed by now."

50. "You stole my seat! You're a seat-thief!"

51. "Correct my grammar all you want but, you're still a dork."

52. "We could always crash the party."

53. "Just hurry your ass up so we can get out of Kooklandia already!"

54. "Dear diary, a chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe, that lie will haunt me forever."

55. "I always notice a woman's neck, I'm a neck person."

56. "How is my wife more badass than me?"

57. "I'm not saying she's a whore! All I'm saying is she's been on more wieners than ketchup!"

58. "You're cute when your mad" "Yeah, well I'm about to get really fucking adorable."

59. "I'm not arguing, I'm simply explaining why I'm right."

Tagging some followers & people I admire below, please reblog to get the word out!

@wannabestarkeysgirl @maybankforlife @jjmaybankspermbank @gillybear17 @sugarcoatedjj @luversgirl @mrs-country-club @obx-pogue4life @luvhann @milkiane @vintageobx @rafecameronswhore @kooksfor-life @lovelyjj @samxslaughter

#obx #tvd #tvdu #the originals #legacies #riverdale #obx cast #euphoria #smut #fluff #obx smut #obx fluff #tvd smut #tvd fmuff #tvdu smut #tvdu fluff #riverdale smut #riverdale fluff #euphoria smut #euphoria fluff #1k celebration #1000 followers #1k followers #omg guys

[antique-traveler]

eight minutes

3k, mattfoggy, T

read it on ao3

So here’s the thing: Matt, like, really liked physical contact. Foggy had been collecting evidence for weeks now, and he was absolutely sure of this conclusion. Holding Foggy’s hand as they walked home drunk, melting beneath Foggy’s hands on his shoulders, the way Matt leaned into him whenever they sat close enough; he clearly loved to be touched. Foggy wasn’t sure why, maybe living in a catholic orphanage for seven years just did that to a person. Regardless, if Matt needed to be touched that bad, then god dammit, Foggy was going to touch him. Platonically. Without getting a boner, hopefully.

“You know, I was actually starting to think that she was the one.”

“No you weren’t.”

“Yes I was!”

“Foggy, you started seeing her three weeks ago. I don’t even think you knew her middle name.”

“I do too know her middle name!” Matt raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “It was Marie… Elizabeth. Rose. Marie Elizabeth Rose.”

“Do you want to try that again?”

“Nope. I am one-hundred-percent confident that that was her middle name.”

“Okay, so to clarify: her name was Anna-Sophia Marie Elizabeth Rose Howard-Myers.”

Foggy swallowed and let his shoulders slump a little. “There’s really no way I can answer that that’s not incriminating, is there?”

Matt cracked that big, bright smile of his and chuckled, reaching for his beer bottle. “You tried your best.”

Okay, so maybe Foggy was exaggerating his heartbreak a little bit. Anna-Sophia had been sweet and smart and hot as the Sahara in summer, but he hadn’t been all that surprised when she turned him down to go on a date with that hot barista Rohan instead. Be that as it may, he needed an excuse to get plastered, so he told Matt that he was heartbroken and dragged him to the sleaziest bar in a two-mile radius to commiserate. Now Foggy was halfway between sloshed and shitfaced, Matt was barely tipsy, and they were both eagerly awaiting another plate of buffalo wings, which were about the only thing in this bar that Foggy thought legally counted as food.

Their waitress set the plate on their hightop and Foggy’s stomach gurgled in something that might’ve been closer to fear than hunger. He looked up towards Matt, who was already plopping a few orange chicken shapes onto his plate. “Did you get a chance to see buffalo wings before you got Stevie Wonder-ed?”

Matt chuckled and tilted his head in the way that Foggy knew to interpret as an eye-roll. “Yes, I did have the privilege of seeing buffalo wings before I lost my sight. But if you’re about to describe to me what these things look like, I’d rather you didn’t. I think the less I know about whatever color they are, the better.”

“Smart move, my friend,” Foggy decided, before grabbing some chicken lumps himself. Matt dug in while Foggy was still drunkenly trying to get the right wing-to-ranch ratio on his first bite and, when Foggy looked up, Matt had a smear of orange sauce across his right cheek. “Jesus, dude, you already have sauce all over your face.”

Matt smirked and tilted his head toward Foggy. “Do I actually, or are you just being an asshole?”

“You do! Right cheek, just below your mouth.” Matt brought his napkin up to his face and missed the sauce completely. Foggy chuckled a little, “no, little higher. Bit further to the right… you know what, fuck this,” he grabbed the napkin out of Matt’s hand and cleaned his face up himself. Once the smear was gone, Foggy let the shitty beer in his system take the wheel and slowly dragged his thumb across where the sauce had been on Matt’s cheek. If he lingered there for a moment longer than sober Foggy would’ve, well, that was no one’s business but his own.

Foggy had told Matt that he was bisexual over a year ago, the very first time they went out to get drinks and play wingman together. Matt had never been anything but accepting of Foggy’s sexuality, and, in return, Foggy kept the low-simmering crush he had on Matt a secret. Really, who could blame him for carrying a small torch for the guy? He was confident and kind and had the abs of a goddamn underwear model. Unfortunately, Matt was also painfully straight, so Foggy dropped his hand from Matt’s face and took another bite of his so-called chicken wing, praying that no one in the bar could see his blush.

Three hours later, they were both plastered and Foggy was finding it increasingly difficult to remember precisely which streets he needed to turn on to get back to their dorm. Matt’s hand was warm in the crook of Foggy’s elbow, and he was trying very hard not to focus on the pressure that was rapidly filling up his chest.

“So what’s next, buddy?” Matt slurred. “You got any hot guys lined up for the rebound?”

“Matthew, my friend, I think you seriously overestimate my ability to keep hot guys on retainer. Oof, listen to me. Using the big lawyer words already.” Foggy giggled and let himself lean a little bit more into Matt’s side.

“Yeah, it’s almost like you’re in school to be a lawyer,” Matt grinned. “But seriously, I think we both know that you never have any trouble finding hookups.”

“Ugh, Matt, you pathetic pragmatist,” Foggy shouted, “I don’t want a hookup. I want romance! I want someone to feed me grapes and cover me in rose petals and, and…” Foggy had run out of romantic cliches, so he simply settled on: “and suck my dick!”

Matt burst into laughter, stopping Foggy in his tracks as he doubled over and wheezed. Once he caught his breath, he straightened up and started walking again, dragging Foggy with him. “You’re right, Fogs, you’re so much more romantic than I am. All the greatest romances in history end in a heartfelt blowjob.”

“Hey, a blowjob can absolutely be romantic! Did you not hear what I said about the grapes? And the rose petals?”

“You know, I think my favorite part of Pride and Prejudice was when Elizabeth gave Mr. Darcy head at the end.”

Foggy gave Matt’s shoulder a little shove and rolled his eyes. “God, I fucking hate you. A guy gets his heart broken, absolutely shattered in a million pieces by the woman who captured his soul, and this is how you comfort him? Some friend you are.”

Matt laughed quietly at that and ducked his head. Silently, he slid his hand out of Foggy’s elbow and into his hand, lacing their fingers together as if it were completely normal. “Come on, you’ll be alright, Fogs. And hey, if all else fails, you still got me, right?”

Foggy swallowed and nodded shakily, more to give himself assurance than anything else. “Right.”

Foggy could have easily finished reading this chapter in his contract law textbook an hour ago, could have written all his notes and closed his book and gone back to his replay of Skyward Sword. Instead of doing any of that, though, he was stuck rereading the same page for the fourth time because Matt just could not stop making those obnoxious little frustrated sighs every two minutes. Foggy knew that the Spanish test he was studying for was important, that Matt had been stressing about it for weeks, but god dammit he was about to start pulling his hair out, and then Matt would be to blame for the loss of Foggy’s luscious blond locs.

Matt groaned again, weary and annoyed, and Foggy immediately slammed his textbook shut and stomped across the room to Matt’s desk.

Matt hardly paid him any mind until he ripped the earbud out of Matt’s ear and shut his laptop. “What the hell, Foggy? I was listening to that!”

“Yeah, well I was listening to you moaning and groaning for the last hour straight. You know, some of us have our own studying to do, too.”

Matt sputtered for a moment and blushed. “Shit, sorry, Foggy. I didn’t realize I was doing it. I can go to the library if you want?”

Well, now Foggy felt like the world’s biggest asshole. “Fuck, no, it’s okay. That was shitty of me to say. Is everything okay over here?”

Matt sighed and leaned back in his chair, “I don’t know. I think I’m probably doing better at this than I think I am, but I keep on making dumb mistakes in my conjugation. Just frustrated, that’s all.”

“You probably just need to take a break, man. It’s, like, ass o’clock at night, your brain is just all Spanished-out. Take a breather, dude.”

Matt pressed his fingers into his eyes behind his glasses and dragged his hands down his face. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Suddenly, Foggy had an idea. He knew, distantly, that this idea would possibly destroy what was left of his self-respect and most definitely give him a boner, but he threw caution to the wind. Self-respect was for cowards, anyway. “Here, sit up. I got an idea.” Matt made a quizzical noise and sat up in his chair. “You’re tense as hell, buddy. I could probably be convinced you had a literal stick up your ass right now, along with the metaphorical one.”

“Wow, thanks,” Matt said dryly, “so glad my best friend thinks so highly of me.”

“Shut up. I’m gonna put my hands on your shoulders, okay?” Matt nodded, so Foggy moved behind him, gently placed each of his hands in the bend where Matt’s neck met his shoulders, and began kneading. He moved his hands up and down Matt’s shoulders, squeezing with his fingers and the heel of his hand while his thumb worked slow circles into Matt’s skin. All it took was for Foggy to apply a little more pressure to the nape of Matt’s neck, and suddenly Matt let out a noise that Foggy had been pretty sure they just made up for porn. Matt moaned soft and deep, without a hint of embarrassment. Each time Foggy gripped harder at his shoulders, Matt would let out another groan, melting a little further into Foggy’s hands with each one.

While Foggy would have to wait until later to measure his self-respect, he had certainly been right about one thing: after hearing all those low noises Matt made, Foggy was now rock hard in his basketball shorts. He gave Matt’s shoulder’s one last squeeze and an awkward pat on the head before chuckling nervously, “alright, I think you’re now officially the least tense person on campus.”

Matt tilted his head back with a tired grin and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “God, Foggy, that was amazing.”

Foggy blushed. He needed to get out of here immediately. He placed a hand gently on Matt’s shoulder and squeezed one last time. “Don’t mention it. I’m, uh, I’m gonna go take a shower, I think.”

Before Foggy could step away, Matt grabbed Foggy’s hand where it rested on his shoulder and turned to face him with a gentle smile. “Hey, I appreciate it, really.”

Foggy’s mouth went dry and he left without another word.

So here’s the thing: Matt, like, really liked physical contact. Foggy had been collecting evidence for weeks now, and he was absolutely sure of this conclusion. Holding Foggy’s hand as they walked home drunk, melting beneath Foggy’s hands on his shoulders, the way Matt leaned into him whenever they sat close enough; he clearly loved to be touched. Foggy wasn’t sure why, maybe living in a catholic orphanage for seven years just did that to a person. Regardless, if Matt needed to be touched that bad, then god dammit, Foggy was going to touch him. Platonically. Without getting a boner, hopefully.

True to his word, Foggy made sure he always had some point of contact with Matt. He kept an arm around Matt’s shoulders at parties and pressed up against him in restaurant booths. He pulled Matt into a hug every time they parted ways, however briefly, and gave Matt more painfully sexy shoulder massages whenever he asked.

In return for this, Matt seemed to be constantly paying Foggy compliments. Each time they left a shared class, Matt would always say, “that was a really smart observation you made back there, Foggy,” and each drunken joke was met with, “God, Fogs, you’re, like, the funniest person I’ve ever known.” Foggy got compliments on his voice and his intelligence and even his goddamn smell, slightly creepy as that one was. Every single compliment made Foggy flush bright red, and made that small torch he’d been carrying since 1L burn just a little brighter.

Some Lambda Pi girl, Sydney something-or-other, had just turned 25, and now Matt and Foggy found themselves completely faded on her sorority house sofa, surrounded by students who were all varying combinations of drunk and stoned, with Foggy’s arm around Matt’s shoulders and Matt’s right leg in Foggy’s lap. They had split a brownie a little over an hour ago, and were perfectly content to nurse their lukewarm beers on this ratty couch for the rest of the party. A few other people sat near them– on the floor or the adjacent armchairs, no one seemed to care much– but Foggy was in no rush to introduce himself and Matt.

Matt leaned further into Foggy’s side as Foggy slowly ran a hand up and down his arm and said into his ear, “You smell really good right now. Like… lemons. Or something.” Foggy was sure that Matt had meant to whisper that, but instead he broadcast it for everyone in the little bubble surrounding them to hear. Foggy’s face flushed and he took another swig of beer.

A girl sitting near them on the floor leaned over and smiled dazedly, and her large front teeth made Foggy chuckle a little at how much she resembled a horse. “I’ve seen you two on campus, you’re law students, right?”

Matt smiled and nodded slowly, “Yeah, second year.”

The girl leaned against the couch below them, “You guys are so cute. How long have you been together?”

Foggy’s heart stopped for a moment and he blinked. “Oh, we’re- we’re not. Together.”

Matt grinned darkly, the same way Foggy saw him do when he was about to take a girl to bed or destroy someone in a debate. “Yeah, we are both completely on the market.”

Horse Girl’s smile dimmed the littlest bit and her eyebrows furrowed, “Oh, you guys just seem, like… really close.”

“Well yeah, I mean, you gotta be close with the guy you’re gonna start a law firm with. That’s, like, even closer than dating, right?” Matt giggled and rested his head on Foggy’s shoulder.

“Right,” Horse Girl said skeptically. “I’m gonna go get another beer. See you two around.”

“I won’t,” Matt laughed loudly at his own joke, but she was too far away to hear it through the din of the party around them.

Foggy had lost interest in this movie a good forty-five minutes ago. Their history of law professor had said that anyone who watched and wrote a paper on Inherit the Wind would get extra credit, but Foggy had never really been a fan of old movies. It was mostly dialogue, so Foggy just let Matt lay his head in his lap while the movie played, only adding narration when he thought it would be funny (which wasn’t often, god this movie was boring).

“And all these holy people got themselves begat through original sin?” Spencer Tracy asked through Foggy’s laptop screen. “Well… all that sinnin’ make ‘em any less holy?”

“I don’t know why everyone in old movies always talks so loud,” Foggy said. “They had microphones back then, these guys don’t have to use their outside voices all the time.”

Matt smiled from down in Foggy’s lap. “I think a lot of them were probably trained for the theatre. They’re projecting like they’re still on stage.”

“Fair enough, I guess,” Foggy grumbled. Sometime in the last few minutes, Foggy’s hand had found its way into Matt’s hair and was rubbing indiscernible little patterns into his scalp. Matt’s hair was soft, and he hummed a little bit every time Foggy started to slow down or seemed like he was going to stop. Matt’s glasses were off, and his hazel eyes were pointed up at the ceiling.

It had taken a few months for Matt to let Foggy see him with his glasses off. Foggy had just gotten a call from his mom that his paternal grandmother had died. Matt knew that Foggy was close with her, and he let Foggy cry into his shoulder. When Foggy finally came up, Matt’s glasses were off. Those big puppy dog eyes of his changed his whole face once Foggy finally saw them, they made his expression so much more sympathetic, and it made Foggy start crying all over again.

Foggy stopped the movie once they started singing hymns again at the end, but neither of them moved. Foggy’s hand still traced its little patterns in Matt’s hair, but Matt had stopped humming, just stared into the air above him.

Matt took a deep breath, then let it out. “Hey Foggy?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re not just friends, are we?”

Foggy’s hand stopped its movements in Matt’s hair, and Matt sat up to sit beside Foggy on the bed. He thought back to each time they touched in the last few months, each compliment that Matt gave him without a second thought, the feeling of Matt’s fingers intertwined with his own as they stumbled home together. “I don’t… I don’t know. Do you want to be just friends?”

Matt swallowed and clenched his jaw briefly. “I don’t think so.”

Foggy’s heart leapt at that, but he shushed it. “I… thought you were straight.”

“I don’t know what I am,” Matt smiled, soft and maybe a little bit sad, “but I really like you, Fogs.”

Now, that… that was not a sentence Foggy was expecting to hear in his lifetime from Matthew Michael Murdock. Matt was only a few inches away, pressed against Foggy like he always was these days. Maybe it was Foggy’s imagination, maybe it was just a trick of the light, but Foggy could swear that Matt was looking straight into his eyes. “Matt, can I kiss you?”

Matt didn’t respond, just slowly closed the distance between them, cupping Foggy’s cheek with one hand and pressing his lips against Foggy’s. Foggy’s brain bluescreened for a moment at the feeling of Matt goddamn Murdock kissing him, but he quickly got with the program and started kissing back. Each of them smiled into the kiss, feeling each other blush beneath their fingertips, and leaned back into Foggy’s bed. Matt hadn’t asked for a shoulder rub tonight, but Foggy had a feeling he’d be hearing those noises anyway.

#daredevil #my fic #mattfoggy #matt murdock #marvel daredevil #matt murdock x foggy nelson

[shades-of-stony]

Royalty Stony AUs

A King for Christmas by iam93percentstardust

Summary: In 1867, Tony Stark flees New York after refusing to marry the alpha his parents chose for him. His money runs out in the small kingdom of Dacia, ruled over by King Steven of the Rogers line. Somehow, and he’s not entirely sure how, he ends up accepting the position of nanny to the king’s four children: Harley, Peter, Sarah, and Morgan.

Tony bonds with the children easily but their father is harder to get to know. Steve is still grieving his wife’s death four years earlier. His continued mourning has turned the once bright halls into dark and somber shadows of their former glory. Tony isn’t entirely certain what he can do but he knows that he has to do something or else the whole country, so attuned to their leader, will sink into despair. He begins by reconciling the king with his young children.

Meanwhile, the children have decided that it’s high time their father fall in love again—and Tony is the obvious choice. They concoct elaborate plans to force the two together, hardly realizing that Steve and Tony are falling in love, not through their shenanigans but through the quiet moments they share bonding over the love they have for the children.

A Higher Form of War by sabremc

Summary: Tony is a King with a surprising number of people out to kill him. Steve and the rest of the Avengers are fighting for Pierce's rebellion and end up with Tony as their prisoner. Oops.

Basically one of those bodice-ripping romance novels I don't read (ahem) but with far more gay.

rearrange my heart (to fit your smile) by starklystar

Summary: "You dare," Howard's chair makes an ugly noise as it scrapes against the stone floors, the chatter of the room shifting into hushed whispers and stolen glances. "I am your father and your King!"

"My King is my husband," Tony tips his chin up, defiant. "And I refuse to hear you suggest that my husband has been anything other than good to me."

Next to him, he feels Steve's shoulders stiffen in surprise.

Howard's fist slams loud on the table. "Your husband does not even love you!"

Tony jerks back, burned. He knows that. Knows that Steve did not marry him for love – does not need any reminder of the cold truth, of what he desperately yearns for and can't even hope to have – but the harshness of Howard's words was scalding, and Tony can't afford for this to go any further.

----------

Or, King Steven marries Prince Tony, Tony is pretty sure he shouldn't panic when he falls in love with his own husband, and Steve tries his very best not to cause diplomatic crises.

Keyword: try

Fealty by  Lasenby_Heathcote and Robin_tCJ

Summary: Steve Rogers is Lord of America, and was gifted his corner of the kingdom of Starkland after amazing acts of heroism in the war against Hydra. A long, brutal winter forces Steve to go to King Howard for aid, and Howard agrees – under the condition that Steve bond with his Omega son, Tony. Steve agrees, of course, for the good of his people. Prince Tony is a trained Omega Consort – an Omega of status sent to a prestigious academy to become the perfect Consort Mate to high-status Alphas throughout the kingdom. At this academy they learn diplomacy, negotiation, proper manners, and, of course, the various ways to pleasure their Alphas.

I will wait by Shellhead616

Summary: Prince Stark was to marry a Prince he never met, for money he never wanted, to reign over a realm his father didn’t care for. But the Prince did care for his people. So he ran away, accidentally joined a group of misfits calling themselves the “Avengers”, with their fierce leader “The Captain". Although, when he discovers the secret the Captain has been keeping, everything changes.

one day by mvrcredi

Summary: One day.

One day Prince Steven would be king. One day he would have all the qualities to be an even better king than his father.

And maybe, one day, Tony would be his husband.

(But maybe, before that one day, Steven should reveal his secret to the man.)

My Loyalty to You by Hazein, Shi_Toyu

Summary: The Israelite nation has gone to war, Howard is acting erratic, and it’s everything Tony can do to argue with the war council to find the most advantageous strategies for their men. Then Thanos strides out of the enemy ranks and issues a challenge unlike any Tony has ever heard. If an Israelite can defeat him in one-on-one combat, their entire army will surrender. Too bad Thanos is twice the size of any man they have. Enter Steve Rogers, local sheppard and the king’s newest harp player, who claims he can fell this giant with nothing but a sling and a stone.

Whether he can manage it or not, Tony is just trying to figure out how you get to looking like that by tending sheep...

Arranged by NotEvenCloseToStraight

Summary: Royalty AU-- Howard arranges a match between Tony and Steve, but when Tony tries to run away with Tiberius instead, Steve goes after his betrothed and brings him home. Things are difficult between the couple at first, but an impulsive kiss leads to softer moments, and finally the arranged pair find happiness together.

Knight of Wands by  Sineala

Summary: Steve has reigned as king for ten years, and in a few days peace will finally come to his kingdom. Representatives of the Kree Empire are soon to arrive for the negotiations that will end the war between them once and for all. Steve is looking forward to settling down, with his hand-picked Avengers at his side -- led, of course, by the masked knight Iron Man -- and also his trusted advisors, the most beloved of whom is Tony, his court magician, the most powerful mage in all the land.

But when Steve's life is endangered, Tony makes the greatest sacrifice of all to protect his king, a sacrifice far greater than his life. And when Tony disappears under mysterious circumstances, Steve learns that even his closest friends keep secrets that he could never have suspected.

Chasing Daydreams by comecatchmeifyoucan

Summary: “Promise you’ll be there?” He mumbled into Steve’s chest.

“Of course.”

“Good.” Tony separated from Steve but his hand was still gently gripping the blond’s wrist. “Because the party only starts when I arrive, and I’m obviously not going if you won’t be there.”

Steve felt the brunet’s hand slip down to graze his, and he let it linger there for a second before it was suddenly pulled away from him. He could only hope that he had hidden his disappointment well.

Fortunately, Tony didn’t seem to notice Steve’s abrupt drop in mood.

✧ ─────── ♡ ─────── ✧

After years of pining for the brunet, Steve was finally going to get his chance to confess his feelings for Tony. If only he could find him in the crowd of masked-people first...

Luckily, when his hopeless crush is nowhere to be found, Steve meets a beautiful stranger to keep him company throughout the night.

heavy is the crown by theappleppielifestyle

Summary: “Why did you pick me? As a match. Howard forced you to marry, but you had - there were other options. Many of them.”

“Maybe I wanted to help you,” Tony says. “To help - anyone, for once. Your people needed it.”

Oh, Steve thinks dully. So it wasn’t about him at all. It’s - a comfort, in some ways. In others, it’s… less so.

“And-” Tony hesitates. "Everyone said you were kind. I thought… if I had to marry, I’d prefer to marry someone kind.”

(Or, Arranged Marriage AU.)

WIP:

The Crown- the stony au nobody asked for by Jo_StClaire

Summary: Tony is the sole Omega prince of Angsold, who falls in love with the Alpha Army Captain of a neighboring nation. When his father, King Howard, suddenly falls ill and passes, Tony's life is thrown out of wack when he becomes a reigning monarch at 25. Follow Tony through the struggles of being a newly-wedded Omega as well as a leader of a nation. He must learn to balance his love for his people with his love for his husband Steve. (Loosely Based off of the Netflix series The Crown)

No More, No Less by ABrighterDarkness

Summary: His father had been discussing it again, amongst his advisers. He was barely eighteen , what did he need of a wife at eighteen? Frankly, he was already tired of hearing about it. Tired of meeting the daughters of the various men that were deemed important enough. None of them had caught his attention in the least and he suspected that they never would. Not when his daydreams already consisted of intelligent brown eyes, rich brown curls and a wickedly charming grin.

Protea by Anonymous

Summary: After witnessing the injustice done onto his parents, Steve Rogers sneaks into the Ferrite Royal Palace to try and find answers. Fate decides to saddle him with solving shady scandals while unknowingly becoming involved with the nation’s omegan king, Anthony.

And deal with all the baggage and drama that comes along with it.

Or…

A Concubine!Steve AU

they're both princes in this one by vapaad

Summary: Steve Rogers is the first son of the United States The entire nation sees him as America’s golden boy. Handsome, smart, charming, and overall perfection– Steve is an icon to the youths of America. But Steve, well he has one little issue. He thinks Prince Anthony, yes the british prince, is a big jerk. Arrogant and an overall asshole.

So when an encounter between the two results in chaos, Steve and Anthony “call me Tony” are thrusted into a PR stint of being best friends. But soon enough, they both come to the realization that they want more, and there, bloomed a secret relationship between the first son of the united states, and the prince of England.

tell me i'm your national anthem by oopshidaisy for chasingconstellations

Summary: Red, White & Royal Blue AU. Tony Stark is the unwilling First Son of the United States, whose rivalry with beloved Prince Steve threatens UK/US relations. After an international incident involving a wedding cake, Steve and Tony are forced to fake a friendship for the public eye - a fake friendship that evolves into something real, and dangerous.

#stony #stony au #superhusbands #stevetony #stony fic #stony fic rec #stevetony fic rec

[sukorakurai]

@snarkyship is a true genius. I commission this Stark Family Portrait and I couldn’t be happier. I wrote a little fic to accompany this fabulous Picture. hope you all enjoy.

Stark Family Picture Day

 By Sukora Kurai

  Tony sighed over the counter in the communal kitchen. He had been there since dawn when he asked Jarvis what day it was. Then his trusty AI informed him of an importance of this month. Now he was stuck with what to do now.

 “Hey Tony what’s got you down?”

 “Hey Capsicle, I’m doomed.”

 “Oh come on Tony, it can’t be that bad you are an Avenger.” Steve smiled as he got out food to make omelets for the Team, and greeted the in coming members. “Morning Nat, morning Bruce.”

 “Morning Steve, what’s wrong with Tony?” Bruce greeted heading to the stove to put the kettle on for his morning tea.

 “Not sure I found him like this.” Steve stated cracking some eggs into a bowl.

 “His and Loki’s anniversary is this month and he has no idea what to get him.” Nat answered pouring a large mug of coffee.

 Tony shot up in his seat and stared slack jawed. “How could you possibly know that?”

 “It’s my job as a shield Agent and Pepper’s PA to keep tabs on you. So it is well documented when you clumsily asked Loki to be your boyfriend during the Lord of the Rings Marathon where you bought out the AMC Theater for the day.” The Spy shrugged ignoring the fact that all her team mates stared at her in horror. All were now wondering what she had on them in those SHIELD files.

 “So Tony, you have and anniversary coming up? Have you though about what Loki might like?” Steve coughed drawing the conversation back to the main topic.

 “No, I don’t. What does one give a god especially one that has magic and can make anything appear out of thin air?” Tony waved his arms in frustration.

 “That is a tough one but I’m sure anything you get him will be fine. Loki loves you Tony.” Bruce tried to be supportive.

 “I hope you will be putting more thought into the gift you give me next month for our anniversary.” Nat gave the Gamma Doctor a pointed before wandering out of the room to start her routine before heading out to work.

 “Ha, I’m not the only one in hot water now!” Tony crowed at the look of devastation in his science-bro’s face.

 “Tony, knock it off. Now in my day it was the thought that counted most. You should find what Loki cherishes the most. You find that then you can present to him in a meaningful way. It’s true he’s a prince and probably has had his other lovers throw jewels and meaningless expensive trinkets at him to win his affections. You know Loki better because you love him and he loves you.” Steve pointed out.

 “Yeah, Lokes complains a lot about his life in Asgard and that there were many who wooed him just to get to Thor. At night when it’s just the two of us and RC snuggled between us he sighs soft and says what a perfect night it is. He never elaborates but I think it means that he likes just the quiet nights with us.” The genius eyes went glazed as he recalled the many nights he cuddled with his god. Then the idea hit him. “Hey Spangles, can you paint or do you just draw?”

 “Huh,” Steve was caught off guard and almost dropped the omelet he was flipping. “I paint from time to time.”

 “Don’t lie babe you are in your studio whenever can get the chance.” Bucky laughed entering the kitchen. “All the paintings in our apartment Stevie did.”

 “Great! Can you do a portrait if I get you a picture?” Tony asked digging in to the ham and cheese omelet.

 “Yeah, it might take two weeks maybe less depends on if we get called out or if SHIELD needs me.” The captain estimated placing another plate in front of his boyfriend.

 “As long as it’s done before the end of the month we’re good.  Jarvis start looking through my photos and pull out any possible portraits.”

 “Yes, sir.”

 “Delicious breakfast as usual Capsicle. I’ll get you the photo as soon as I find one.” Tony dumped his empty plate in sink and ran off to his lab.

 Two hours later…

 “None of these are good enough J.”

 “Sir, might I suggest you take a new photo of you and Prince Loki.”

 “Yeah and RC too, because she’s our baby. We can’t have a Family Portrait without all the family members. Where’s are RC now?”

 “She is currently with Alpine in his play room.”

 “Cool, I think I got the perfect outfit in mind.” Tony grinned as he ran to his emergency closet in the lab. Tony had put in the closet when he realized he destroyed a lot of his clothes during his inventing and building phases. Also there was a suit or two for the days he forgot he was supposed to be in a meeting and had to make a rush to the board room.

  In the penthouse…

  It had been a quiet morning with no call outs, no calls to Asgard and no need to go anywhere. Loki decided to enjoy the peace and quite lounging in his soft Asgardian casual clothes on the couch reading his mother’s spell journal.

 “Hey there, Bambi! It’s Picture Day!”

 “Anthony, what are you on about?” The prince looked up from his book to see his lover carrying their cat into the living room.

 “Well Picture Day refers to the day school kids take pictures for the yearbook and photos are bought for family distribution. Anyways I want to have a family picture that was honest. I never had that growing up because Howard was an asshole and Maria, my mother, was frail. She loved me but she couldn’t express it because she was always ill. Now we have our own little family and I want a picture to put in the lab.”

 “You want to take this picture now? Anthony, I look a mess and how did you get the bow on the cat?”

 “Aww, you look gorgeous, love, as always. Anyways, I put a bow on our baby because RC loves to look pretty for her daddies. Don’t you sweetie.” Tony scratched under the kitty’s chin as they sat on couch next to the god.

 “Mew,” RC purred.

 “Fine, you win, where would you like to take the picture? Also what are you wearing? I don’t believe I’ve seen that outfit before, and what is on your feet?” Loki set his book aside and took in his lover’s appearance.

 “Oh you like? I dressed in red and gold to match my shoes. I had these shoes made based on my Iron Man suit. I thought maybe putting them on the market for kids but I liked them too much to share. So I have a life time supply in the lab. If you want I can have a pair made for you.”

 “No thank you. They clash with my outfit. Now let’s take your picture.” Loki said taking the cat in his arms.

 “Okay, okay. Let me get out my phone.” Tony fished his Stark Phone out of his back pocket and held it out to make them all fit in the frame. “Okay say cheese!”

 “Click”

 “Okay let’s see how that one turned out.” Tony looked at the photo to see him smiling a black blur and a bland look on Loki’s face. “Nope we got try again. This time smile Loki and RC you need to stay still so we can see you.”

 And it went picture by picture they have yet to take a family portrait.

 “Shit I only got half your face.”

 “Anthony your thumb is on the lens.”

 “RC Stay still!”

 “Achoo! Ow! I dropped on my foot!”

 “Do not eat my hair you Retched Creature!”

 “Okay I set it up on a tripod. Now say cheese.”

 “CHEESE BROTHER!” Thor popped up between the two men who stared at shock at the blond god.

 “Next!” Tony rolled his eyes as Loki vanished his brother to where ever. Tony didn’t ask where the Loki sent Thunder god. He rather liked staying in the tower and wanted to keep it that way.

 “Meow!”

 “No RC! Don’t chase the bunny!”

 Three Hours Later…

 “Okay, this is it I can feel it. Now Jarvis is going to take the picture the bunnies are secure in their room. The penthouse is locked down, so no unexpected guest and RC is filled of milk to keep her calm and relaxed. And I promise after we get this picture I will have Jarvis order you favorite meal from the Thai Palace down the street and I’ll rub your feet, while we watch you favorite Harry Potter movies.”

 “Oh Anthony you spoil me. I love you.” Loki sighed as a soft smile graced his face and he leaned into his lover as Tony joined their hands together. RC who was seated now on the god’s shoulder leaned in and purred soaking up the love of her people. The genius couldn’t be happier in that moment as he had his to precious family members with him and the grin on his face was wide and bright.

 “Click.”

 Two Weeks Later…

 “Sir Prince Loki and Mr. Odinson have returned from Asgard.”

 “Great, I got everything ready. Tell Loki that I have dinner ready and waiting.”

 “Yes, sir.” Tony had the table set with Loki’s Favorite food from the five star steak house, they go to. He paid extra to have the chef come over and cook for their anniversary.

 “Ding.”

 “Thank you, Jarvis. Evening Anthony, never in my life had been so glad to leave Asgard. He talked for hours at the council over stagnant topics. What’s all this?”

 “Well my hard working God of Mischief, today is our one year Anniversary and I have planned the perfect evening. Dinner, a bath and I installed a movie screen in our bathroom so we can enjoy the movie of your choice during the bath and then I plan on us making love until dawn.” Tony pulled Loki over to the dinner table, watching as the god’s magic removed the armor and replaced it with comfortable Asgardian wear.

 “You lovely little man, you spoil me so; I don’t deserve it or you.” The Raven pulled the billionaire into his arms and planting kisses all over the man’s face.

 “Yes you do, because I love you and I got you something, well I got Cap to make it, but it was my idea.”

 “You didn’t have to, dinner is more than enough.”

 “No, I wanted to. Now close your eyes and I’ll get your present.” As Loki closed his eyes Tony ran out of the room and grabbed the portrait from where he hid it. He placed it on the wall then Jarvis turned on the lights illuminating the painting. “Okay open them.”

 “Oh Anthony! It’s wonderful.” Loki’s eyes became all misty seeing their little family together and there was so much love radiating from painting. “It’s perfect.”

 “Happy Anniversary Reindeer Games.”

 “Happy Anniversary, my Man of Iron.” Loki whispered pulling Tony in to the sweetest kiss they ever shared. They didn’t hear the click sound of Jarvis capturing the moment with the sunset background. Another memory to save for another day.

 The End.

#fanart #fiction from fanart #iron frost #frostiron #ironfrost #Iron Man #tony x loki #loki x tony #loki #random black cat #tony stark #Avengers #Marvel MCU #Family Portrait

[prof-peach]

If you could cross over two of your favorite games, which would you choose? Please explain, why that crossover would be a good match.

Oh you’re going to regret asking this one, I’m bout to GET SERIOUS.

So Pokemon, obvs, I love the whole world it’s built in, but the games imo are REALLY boring, I haven’t enjoyed one a lot since gale of darkness, the main ones just are a little too linear obvious plots, pretty standard setups for story and style. Speaking of style, the games lack personality, the models aren’t animated well, moves have no dynamic energy or visual difference at times, and the turn based battle style just feels kind of, I don’t know, old? Slow? Just doesn’t suit what I enjoy personally, gives me a FInal Fantasy vibe and I just cannot stand the speed at which things happen in those games, plus not into 3rd person ‘let’s build a team of people’ much, but that’s a problem for another time. With this all in mind, the game I wish would happen is like gen20 Pokemon, far future sadly, I doubt I’d see it in my lifetime but god I’d be happy if I did!

Ok so take the newest Zelda graphics, the visual treat that was BOTW, open world, puzzles, not JUST combat, you got side missions, hunt the chickens, find missing pets, parcels, items, whatever. Love it! The horse taming?! Amazing you funky little game. Now take the bad guys and beasts from that. And put Pokemon in instead. Give them the diversity, the life and believable natures that BOTW gave the animals, I followed a frog in BOTW for 15 minutes, and it was a great experience, it felt like it was believable. Above world spawning, ACTUAL difficult gameplay, rare spawn rates, make dragons hard to get again, cmon, it’s too easy now, make it so we need a certain set of Pokemon for certain tasks. Water types big enough to carry you will be able to get you to new areas, rock types that can help you climb mountains faster, or break through blocking boulders. Actual towns with more than 4 houses in them, shops, barns, farms, homes. Like little link with the heat, maybe ice types would struggle in volcano areas, or bug Pokemon not be so comfortable in gale force winds. Give the weather more of an effect on your partners. Mounts, don’t even get me started that Pokemon Let’s go had you able to ride any of the larger species, but swsh did not???? Bitch please, give me my rideable Pokemon. The wild area too was far too closed, limited, online was laggy and a mess, camping is limited, let me do more with my team. Pokemon for me is all about the actual creatures, how they live with humans, and the many wonderful things they’re capable of. Yes of course it’s cool they can fight, but like what else you know?

I’d love a game that lets me buy a plot of land, maybe plant things, custom build things. I’m a sucker for the fallout4 settlement builds when they’re modded to hell and back, they’re fun! It can be a really calm and creative process. If I could do that and skip the main campaign and all the battles for a bit? Amazing, it sound perfect for me. I am that distracted hoe collecting flowers while the kingdom burns in the background. Side quests are everything to me. Let me give homeless people enough money to get them in a home? Let me adopt Pokemon that are stray around the town? Plz oh plz bring me a Pokemon game that allows me to work WITH my team to do more than KO other species. I want to save and buy a plow for my buddy gogoat, and grow amazing foods to sell to get currency to spend in decorations, to spoil my team. Give me actual game consequence, if I ignore that sick and injured Pokemon I find in the wild, later maybe it’s family don’t want to help me out with a different problem, too stricken from grief. I am all about the average bits, the old women who need help, the lost pets board in town, the general day to day stuff. Let me get cosmetic items for the Pokemon I keep, cute outfits, special gemstone items, let me actually live with them, or even feel remotely like they’re realistic.

Ok so in game, if it’s looking like BOTW it’s pretty beautiful but also stylised, I’d have it so you can send out a maximum of 3 Pokemon from your 6, using bumpers and such to throw them out. If you hit the trigger you switch from controlling the human trainer, to the Pokemon you’ve targeted with a standard lock on targeting system. You then can be the leader, but be the Pokemon. You could technically defeat the game without a human if you wanted, which incorporates the mystery dungeon games I think, and caters to that crowd. I’d love to see the use of attacks out of battle, things like using water gun to grow plants, using ember to start a campfire faster and stave off the cold. There’s no consequence to Pokemon anymore, and I think that’s where it’s lost me. I have to admit I miss the days of a poisoned pokemon fainting if you don’t heal them soon enough, I miss gym battles that were actually tough, damn, try picking charmander in red and beating brock without grinding in viridian forest first, it’s not easy. And I loved that. Yes it’s a child’s game, it will never be difficult again, but god it’d be nice to have a bit of a challenge, or maybe a difficulty setting, so some could play it with hostility turned off, great for kids, or you can be n adult like I know so many Pokemon fans are, and play it on expert mode and ACTUALLY have to work hard to beat the game. Alternate skill trees anyone? Train gun a fire type to ACUTALLy combat water moves?? Please! Cmon! It frustrated me that every challenger has pretty much a systematic set of moves to use to win. Grass opponent? Fire attack spam until you win. It’s dull, so at least with very difficult tricks to either find or learn in game would make it more achievable if you can send that fire type in and I don’t know, train them so much the heat evaporates the water mid-battle and you suddenly have a shot at winning. Pokemon has taught me that if you work hard enough you can achieve something, but the games just have such strict ways to win. Feels wrong.

In terms of battling, let us BE the Pokemon, let us learn to dodge, train our speed, train our defence, make a team of truly tough Pokemon instead of just, average? Some species have a cap on their skills, a squirtle has lower stat points than a Charizard, but you can’t ever change that? Let me choose the Pokemon I believe in, and let me work with them until they’re just as good, if not better than the game tanks. This would also make online battles more interesting. Everyone picks the top trio. Fairy, dragon, legendaries. And yknow what? It’s boring. That one IRL fight with the monster Pacharisu that won in the world tournament with follow me and the situs Berry? Unbelievable, I love that little rat so much because of this, so let us all have a chance to build a team that’s strategically viable, strong, and potentially a winner formula, even if they aren’t fully evolved, or the biggest Pokemon in the world. Yeah maybe you have to grind way harder with your unevolved Pokemon, but you get to the end game and win, because you put love and time into species that you enjoy, not just good fighters.

Unfortunately I am beholdent to Todd-idiot-Howard, and I love the Eldrescrolls and fallout games (before they got dumb, not that I don’t play the new ones. 76 I’m looking at you, you big asshole game.) honestly I hate online games, so none of that junk, just a good old fashioned open world sandbox game is plenty. Games for me are an escape from others, not an invitation to socialise. To each their own of course, and I do play online games sometimes, just pretty short lived ones, over watch and rdr2 for example. Would they be sometimes better on private servers? Yes of course, fallout76? Want to play with others? No. I do not. Please leave me alone. And if you buy a private server you’re feeding the monster that is Todd Howard, the man the myth the asshole, then we’ll get more bad games like 76. I just so desperately want the Pokemon company to see what a beautiful potential game they’ve got on their hands, that could be suitable for far greater audiences, but instead they’ve focused on the kids. It’s fine, it’s functional, but it’s lost to the fans from day 1, that are all 20+ years old now and want something meatier to play, something far more broad and inclusive. I also hate that there’s no wheelchair option in any Pokemon game. Like cmon, it’s not hard to include that.

In short, BOTW + Pokemon, with a sprinkle of open world sandbox to it, less fighting, more fun. Or, at least both options. Sure, go fight everything, great, but I want to farm carrots over here with 6sunflora, plz let me have some peace.

Edit: I forgot about harvest moon, chuck some of that in there too.

SECOND EDIT: someone in the comments mentioned to put this in Unova? Plz love yourselves, this game would be ALL MAPS. Stuff one singular location, this is the ideal game, put every map in it, join them, put islands in, make them more explorable, more detailed!

#pokemon #not peach #OOC

[maxwell-grant]

OK, I know this will probably be painful, and I may be a bad mutual for asking but...would you be willing to identify what, in your opinion are the bottom five worst Shadow adaptations, and give a detailed breakdown of why they were so lousy?

Oh christ, okay. I don't think you're gonna get as much of a detailed breakdown for these compared to some of the others, because I take more issue with adaptations that do have good qualities but also big or deep problems to talk about.

For example, I can't include Garth Ennis's Shadow in this list because the comic has a lot of strong points to it, despite a deeply, deeply detestable take on The Shadow's character, where as the rest of the Dynamite run doesn't reach neither the lows or highs of his run. Likewise, Andy Helfer's run has a couple or a couple dozen moments every issue that make me want to tear something to shreds in frustration, but it's also at many points a really good comic with great art and some occasionally very inspired writing. Really, I'd just be repeating myself talking about what I hate in those.

But, fine, let's list some of the others.

I think I'm just gonna have to get the elephant in the room out of the way here, and address that I won't be including Si Spurrier's 2017 Dynamite mini in this list, and I think at least some of you might be angry it's not Number 1 by default. I'm doing this because I intend to one day really revisit it, think about it and it's reception and what it was trying to do, and talk about it on it's own, now that it's been 5 years and everyone has moved on and we can maybe talk about it without kneejerk hatred driving everyone nuts (your mileage may vary on how warranted it was).

I'm also not going to be talking about James Patterson's new novel, because I haven't read it. It seems to be considered a forgettable potboiler by mainstream critics and a resounding failure by everyone who likes the character whether they've read the book or not, and frankly I don't have it in me to learn what the fuzz was about anytime soon, I got my hands way too full as is.

And I won't be including the Batman x Shadow crossovers here, because again, they do have a lot of virtues that put them far ahead of some of the really worst Shadow media, and I've talked enough about how badly I think they mangled The Shadow, which is really the big problem I have with them (well, that and Tim Sale blatantly copying a Michael Kaluta cover, that was really shitty). I don't really hate them anymore, I just get tired and frustrated thinking about parts of them, I said my piece as is. Really, my frustration over this comic is what inspired me to start writing about The Shadow here, so I guess in a way I do owe it at least that much.

5: Archie Comics's Shadow

I think some of you might be wondering why this isn't ranked higher, but to be honest, I don't actually harbor any hatred towards this. I mean, I have to include it, but I find it kinda silly that some people even today actually care about the existence of this comic enough to hate it.

For fans back then? Oh yeah, obviously, but this dropped to such instantaneous backlash that it never really got to live past 6 issues. Really, everything wrong about it can be understood immediately from the covers, and I've actually read the comic in it's entirety to see if there was anything worth taking. I found only a couple of things of note but, no, this really is just a painfully mediocre superhero comic that happens to have a couple of Shadow names in it. If anything, it gets too much credit.

The actual contents of what it is are never going to justify it's reputation, but the existence of it and the disproportionate response to it is the funniest and most enduring legacy it could ever ask for. This whole comic is The Shadow's version of Spongebob's embarassing Christmas photo.

4: David Liss's The Shadow Now

This is another "The Shadow as an immortal in modern times" comic and I think you may have noticed the pattern with those by now. I may revisit this eventually and I do have some moments from it saved for reference, but overall: It sucks, and it doesn't even suck in a way that lets me talk much about it, it's a diet version of Chaykin's Shadow. If Archie's Shadow is a generic mediocre superhero comic wearing The Shadow's name, this is a generic crime story playing beats from movie. The Shadow is an asshole and not even a grandiose or sinister one, he just feels like a sleazy douche in a costume. The art is a 50/50 coin toss between appropriately moody and "Google images with a filter on them", I don't remember anything about the plot other than Khan had a bomb again and he had a daughter, and there were new versions of the agents and the Harry stand-in turned evil and Lamont shacked up with Margo's descendant which, uh, no. I don't really hate this but I really have nothing nice to say about this comic other than Colton Worley's art is nice sometimes. I can't really muster anything else to say here.

3: Invisible Avenger

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

ZZZZZZZZZZ...

...uuh, wha-

Yeah, I remember nothing about this one other than it's painfully boring and nothing about it, nothing at all, works in the slightest and I drift off to sleep even now trying to give this a rewatch. To be honest pretty much every other Shadow serial not starred by Victor Jory sucks and I don't really have anything to say about them, this one is just the worst of the lot. I dearly wish there was a good Shadow tv series but, if it was going to be like this pilot? Good riddance.

2: Harlan Ellison's The New York Review of Bird

This isn't really a Shadow story as much as it's a Harlan Ellison story that happens to feature The Shadow, but man am I glad that Ellison's "Dragon Shadows" was canned, because holy shit what a goddamn nightmare Harlan Ellison writing The Shadow for real could have been, going purely by the one time he ever touched the character. New York Review of Bird is a purely farcical parody story that wears real, real thin even before "Uncle Kent" shows up, and we get to see in it what is by far the most detestable and irredeemable take on The Shadow ever put on print, and not even in a critique or deconstructive way or anything that could be remotely worth discussing.

I don't hold any particular affection for Harlan Ellison and his writing (despite liking some of it) and I've come to notice the major red flag that is finding someone who looks up to Harlan Ellison in any capacity as a person, and this story in particular really feels like Ellison aggressively trying to channel his jackass tendencies through every line, just him being nasty because he built a personal brand on being nasty. The only reason this isn't Number One is because it's a very short story that saw zero influence or reputation, and thus it only exists as a brief mention in The Shadow wiki, and a brief mention is all it really calls for.

1: Howard Chaykin's Blood & Judgment

I'm guessing most of you already knew this one was in the top spot before I started writing.

I would actually rather not write a big piece on Blood & Judgment, because I think (or at least I hope) it's influence on The Shadow has waned a lot over the years and I would prefer to draw it the least amount of attention possible, but if I HAVE to talk about this, I guess I'd rather just vomit this out of my circuits now instead of giving it it's own post.

I would prefer to use a less unpleasant image on my blog, but if I'm going to talk about this comic, there's no image to better convey it than this drawing of macho asshole Cranston holding a sexualized mannequin at gunpoint. By leaps and bounds, Blood & Judgment is the most misogynistic Shadow story I've ever read. It's ironic that Chaykin justified the rampant misogyny he gave The Shadow with the idea that this is just a man from the 30s would act like, when he admits in the same breath that he never even touched the stories, and he wrote a story more sexist and demeaning to it's female characters than anything, literally anything, written in the Shadow pulps. It's almost impressive even.

I'll paste some segments from Randy Raynaldo's review

In Flagg, he intended to present his own point of view on American society while keeping his work tongue in cheek and acessible. But this vision dimmed, and Flagg had become a vehicle by which Chaykin could play out fetishes and portray gratuitous and stylish violence.

In The Shadow, stripped of the political and social veneer which was supposed to make Flagg unique, Chaykin's sensibilities and excesses become disturbingly apparent. For all of his liberal posturing, Chaykin's work demonstrates zero difference from the same kind of mentality exploited and made popular by similarly violent popular culture icons like Dirty Harry and Death Wish.

More than half a dozen individuals are indiscriminately and violently murdered in the first issue. Although the victims are characters who played major roles in the myth of The Shadow, we feel little sympathy for them, even for those of us who knew these characters at the outset. Who dies is unimportant, it's how they die that is the fascination.

Chaykin uses sexual decadence as a means by which to establish villains, and undercuts this device by making the protagonists as promiscuous as the villains. For all of Chaykin's seemingly liberal leanings, he demonstrates very little sensitivity in his portrayal of women.

Because everything works on rules of three, this comic also follows the pattern with other works mentioned here, as this isn't Howard Chaykin writing The Shadow: it's The Shadow reimagined as a Howard Chaykin character. He looks and acts exactly like Reuben Flagg and the typical macho protagonist of Chaykin's other works, he's a cynical sleaze with an entirely new origin who half-assedly dons a garb to machine gun people, and I already wrote a separate piece on why the machineguns are kind of emblematic of everything wrong with this take.

I understand that Chaykin has, or used to have, a big following of sorts, and I've tried to wrap my head around this for years, but I genuinely still don't get why Shadow fans stomach this comic unless they happen to be Chaykin fans first and foremost, I really don't. Everything, fucking everything Shadow fans hate about modern depictions of the character can be traced right back to this. The parts that stuck and changed the character for the worse, like him being defined as an immortal, bloodthirsty warmonger who got all his skills and powers from a magic city in Tibet, or Lamont Cranston being a coward who fears and hates the Shadow, or his agents being expendable slaves, stuff that has been ingrained into the mythos through this and the Alec Baldwin movie and other comics, to the point that people now think of it as the norm, that it's the baseline of what The Shadow is, and I hate it, I genuinely fucking hate it,

I hate it so much that it's a big part of the reason why I created this blog and why I want so badly to get to write The Shadow, because I plainly couldn't stand not having ways to tell people that this is all wrong, that this is actively shooting down the character's odds for success, and that they are missing out on something really great, because the well has been tainted with garbage that won't go away and everytime I read the words Shambala in a Shadow comic, even an otherwise good or great one, I get just a wee bit cross.

The only semi-redeeming aspects I can think of for this comic is one or two cool moments, like when The Shadow hijacks a concert using his Devil's Whisper or when he tames dogs with a stare. Just breadcrumbs of "not garbage" amidst an ocean of anything but. I hate that talking about why I hate this comic in-length can almost feel like I'm still enticing people to check it out of curiosity, but if you wanna do that, fine, just know this: The worst part of Blood & Judgment, even if you don't care at all about what it did to The Shadow, is that it's boring.

It is a deeply boring comic. If you like Howard Chaykin to begin with, you'll probably like this okay (although even Chaykin fans told me that this is his weakest work and that even he seems to agree). If you don't, I plain don't see what you could get out of this.

The comic itself is just nothing. It's the comic book equivalent of a pre-schooler trying to get a reaction by swearing. It has nothing whatsoever other than half-assed attempts at shock value. The plot isn't there, the ideas are stale, the dialogue is needlessly oblique and comprised entirely of unfinished sentences, interrupted conversations and one-liners without build-up. The characters are all unlikable and uninteresting stooges with no personality, or joyless cartoons. There's no heart or emotion or logic, and it isn't even funny enough to succeed as just an outrageous exercise in 80s excess. There's nothing in here.

I get "why" it was popular enough at the time, a rising star creator penning a modern revival of an old character based on controversy that pissed off the old fans, it's an old story that still gets repeated today. But manufactured controversy is not a replacement for storytelling and it rarely ever exists to benefit the people who actually want to enjoy the stories, it only benefits those for the crude benefit of those who want to sell you something out of the controversy.

I guess they got their money's worth back then.

------------------------------------------------

Phew, okay, I did it, I finally vomited out a piece on Blood & Judgment and some others, allright, let's put this piece of negativity behind us now.

#replies tag #the shadow #pulp heroes #shadow comics #shadow films #dc comics

[blushing-starker]

Anon asked for alpha Peter and omega Tony for a baby announcement. Thank you to the wonderful @vaguekiwi for motivating me and sharing her thoughts on the story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, anon.

"Tony, Tony? Are you up? It's 7:30am already, you have a meeting with Miss Potts in forty minutes. Tony?"

Soft hands curl into already silver hair, scratching at the strands in an attempt to wake him up gently. Butterfly kisses on a cold nape, a ridiculously hot nose nuzzling everywhere. Peter knows scenting the billionaire is basically the only way one can ensure a calm morning.

Not today. And not for the next few months either.

He loves his husband, appreciates the nearly romantic demeanor, he does. But "unless you have a cup of coffee for me, there is no way in hell i am gonna leave this bed. your child has kept me up with nausea the entire night. I wanna hurl my guts out more than that time Rhodes found Dad's liquor cabinet. please, tell me you have coffee."

"..." Tony is severely displeased by the fact he can read Peter like a book even with half his mind shut off because fine, he's right and dammit all.

"I want that weird drink you make. The one with milk, cinnamon and chunks of brownie. And French toast with waffles. No jam, not too much butter, as much sugar as possible. Now, go before I scream at you for having the only dick that could get a hormone fucked forty something omega pregnant. "

The kid scrambles from bed, practically face plants with all the covers tangling long legs and yup, this is the person that the universe designated as his soulmate. Because Tony Stark can never have a partner with a reasonable, normal amount of enthusiasm, stamina and a sense of balance.

That sounds like he's ungrateful, he's not. But it turns out being three months pregnant gives him plenty of perspective to peer at life in a whole new way that does not include caffeine, alcohol or sex.

Would he kill and die for this amazing human being that makes Tony's heart race no matter the day, that inspires him to be a better version of himself? Yes, no questions asked. No hesitation and no regret.

Would he clobber Peter for doing the impossible and technically causing Tony incredible discomfort on a daily basis thanks to what his doctors can only assume is a superhuman baby he already loves and adores more than life itself? Also yes.

Things aren't mutually exclusive in this household.

Pep, bless her, has yet to find out about their future mini Parker so there's been no respite on the whole 'running a multi billion dollar industry ' thing. And yeah, while it's not exactly easy, he can focus on other things and not fall into a panicky state of mind — because him? A father? Of a super baby? Tony Stark, infamous playboy with a hedonistic streak, a dad?

Just thinking along those lines makes shame and self doubt slither over a metallic plate. Working, dealing with innovative scientists, crafting the new world of tomorrow, guaranteeing the safety of their planet, shapeshifting into a role model, a mentor (for the interns and school kids he visits, not Peter, of course, thank God they left that dynamic ages ago), loyal friend, reluctant errand boy (fuck the assholes in charge of the Accords), great husband, good man, it all distracts a fearful child from thinking, what if I turn into Howard?

"I couldn't find brownies, so cookies it is! Aunt May had a few boxes sent in when I told her work was keeping you on your feet all the time. Said it'd be a good idea to snack along the day in case you—" Peter freezes, tenses with a not-so-narrow back held ramrod straight. Oh, his husband brought him breakfast in bed.

How could he ever think to clobber such a nice, wonderful—

"Your scent is odd."

"Yeah, well fuck you too then."

Five seconds of silence.

"I'm bringing you one cup of coffee and the hormone pills."

" Yup, that's a great idea. "

---------------------------

Tony’s mumbo jumbo with self loathing is firmly put on the back burner after inhaling a delicious breakfast and chugging that one glorious cup of coffee. Until they go to the bathroom and he sees himself in the mirror.

"We gotta tell them."

"You said you wanted to wait a while before saying anything."

Peter strips, ducks into the warm shower, lets out a pleased little sigh and Tony wants to rip his fingernails off. Is it bad, having sex while pregnant? No! The doctors, every single one of them, said it's a perfectly normal thing to do. It'd be bad if they didn't have sex because Tony, thanks to his crazy hormone production, needs the extra attention for his body to understand this is a happy process that shouldn't include sad pheromones or stressed out moments. Will Peter put him out of his misery and allow a quickie in the mornings? No.

"Take more than five minutes in that shower and I'm joining you."

Listen, he grew up in the 80's and 90's, Tony wasn't immune to peer pressure. Did he cave and eventually do so many squat competitions with Rhodey his butt turned into a duck's butt? There's no evidence, he's made sure, but yes. And Starks have always turned out to be beautiful, doesn't matter your gender or age. Finding a companion for the night has never been a problem for anyone in his family tree.

That, and his work as Iron Man has kept him — well, not ripped like Cap, certainly not as lean and (God help him) athletic as Peter, but fit. Sturdy. Firm. Solid. (Peter once muttered the words 'daddy-like' in regards to his body and he nearly choked on water.)

The passage of time has made him a bit slower, dusted once black hair with, as his husband says, stardust and the corners of his eyes now show how much time Tony spends laughing or frowning. All in all, he looks fucking spectacular for his age and experience as a villain-punching-bag. Thing is, he has a belly. A bump. A curve where it was once, well. Less curvy. Is it a problem for Peter? Nope, as acknowledged every time his alpha tackles him if he so much as looks oddly in the mirror. Is it a problem for him? He'll get back to you on that.

The point is, there's a belly when just a few months ago there wasn't such a pronounced belly. It's great, of course. Proof their child is growing steadily and Tony's body is adjusting to it accordingly. A small part of him, the omega part he actually lets live, is fascinated and proud. He's doing that, Tony's the one growing a human being, creating life out of nothing in his own body. That child, although not the only physical embodiment of their relationship, is a result of his love for Peter. Of how much his husband loves him. They love each other so much they're gonna start another family together. That chokes him up a bit, reminds him how grateful he is for Peter and for the other Avengers. If they hadn't been so accepting of his status, would he have ever considered going through with this?

Anyway, he's not gonna start sobbing this early in the morning when there's no alcohol involved. It's fantastic seeing his child develop, good, warm and fuzzy feelings, yada yada yada, it's also not very easy to hide. And Tony...Tony wanted to hide it from his family because.

Because Peter hasn't been the only partner in all his life that has wondered about a future with a white picket fence. Because when he was Peter's age, in his goddamn prime, a doctor, ten doctors, all the doctors told him the same thing, smashed his dream into a million pieces. Tony was nearly infertile. There was a one in a million chances of him getting pregnant. If he did, they couldn't be sure his body would be able to maintain two hearts. And then the cave happened.

So yeah. It happened to his cousins, his aunt, a few uncles, his grandmother. Tony would do a baby announcement, but only the second that baby was outside of him and safely in his arms. Now there are still several months left and nothing certain. But time is a bitch and beginning to show the world, maybe those extra pounds aren't from eating the Parker's amazing breakfasts.

"Tony, you know I don't wanna risk-" Losing control of my strength. They've been together long enough that Tony can see quite clearly between the lines.

"Hurting us, yeah, I know, I understand. I'm getting too wide, we're gonna have to tell them or Natasha will take one look at me and whoops, impromptu announcement from someone else. It's a miracle she was out on those missions when we found out." Thank God for renegade troops.

He's still looking at himself in the mirror when Peter comes out, barely dries up and slides behind him. His husband is slightly taller now, can easily hook a curved jaw on Tony's shoulder to peer at the image they make. Contrasts, he supposes, have always enthralled Tony. The study of light and shadow. Variations of the same basic components. Where his body is aging, showing signs of wear and tear, Peter's is evolving into something beautiful, majestic. Silver hair, chestnut brown. Scarred canvas, silky smooth and sunkissed skin. Soft, fragile curves, chiseled lines that deserve to be revered more than Michelangelo’s David. But their eyes, their eyes are equally tired.

“We can tell them if you want, have dinner together and just, just say it. Like that -”

“No. It's our kid, we're not gonna act like it's ripping off a band aid. This is special, unique. Dinner is good. Fantastic, actually. Wait for dessert, and announce it. “ Peter comes ever closer, wraps arms that could carry the world around him and how did he get so lucky?

They've lied to each other in the past. Mostly in the beginning, when they were too worried about hurting their new relationship to show their desires and wants. Tony didn't explain the Training Wheels Protocol. Peter tried to fight high level crime on his own. Things got hard to understand, like being in the right place at the wrong time. Puzzle pieces that didn't quite fit together, an extra inch of space prohibiting them from seeing all the possibilities that the truth could bring. They were walking the same path, just in parallel lines that never crossed.

But then he'd been rejected, thrown away and able to realize how fucking stupid it was to let Peter go when being near the kid, it felt like finally breathing after residing in the deep end of a pool for a thousand years. So Tony ran after him one day, crashed into his AP English class, half assed an excuse for the baffled teacher, yanked Peter out of the room and proceeded to have the best make out session of his life with his back against the kid's locker. And now they don't lie, ever.

Which is why it's so hard to accept Peter's, “You're beautiful, Tony. The handsomest man I've ever seen in my life. I loved you before, I love you now, I'll love you forever, Anthony Stark. You carrying our kid doesn't change that, how could it, Tony? It's going to be ok. The three of us will be ok and I won't stop thanking whoever decided I'd get to marry my wet dream.”

Scorching kisses trace his pulse point slowly, sharp nails start dragging against a too thin shirt, but it's the fact that Peter hasn't looked away from him, is confidently holding his gaze through the glass, that makes Tony shudder and stop breathing.

The bathroom is flooded with pheromones, cinnamon and honey assaulting an unprepared billionaire, and he'll die if they stay like this, can't function properly, brain switching gears, trying valiantly to remember baseball stats, past wounds, May's cooking because Peter's gonna wreck his sanity if those hands keep winding down, if those lips don't stop unraveling him like a Christmas present.

“If I'd known you'd get this handsy and romantic, I would have complained about how I look earlier." It's a gasp, half murmur, half plea as Peter grins at him shamelessly. “I know it's rude and wrong and sexist, but I like comforting my omega, acting like a stereotypical alpha. Makes me feel like I'm doing my job of making you happy. “

He quirks an eyebrow, is glad Peter can be comfortable enough to take the reins every once in a while. “You're telling me that assuring me I'm still drop dead gorgeous, “ his husband snorts, nips at Tony's shoulder for that quip, “ makes you horny because you feel like an alpha comforting, and I quote, ‘your omega’? “

Peter reverts back to the shy teenager who could barely ask a girl out to the homecoming dance, ducks his head into Tony’s neck with a blush quickly spreading over damp skin. “Well, I've got news for you, sweetheart. Your wet dream also thoroughly enjoys it so you better break tradition and have sex with me to remind me I'm the hottest man you've ever seen. "

He's actually serious about this, his self esteem hasn't exactly been, you know, the best and Tony's mood always improves significantly after playing around in bed with Peter. Besides, it's a sign of trust. Peter won't hurt him or their child, will be able to hold back his strength. He always does.

Listen, it's not exactly moral, but he has more than enough problems to go ahead and analyze his attraction and dependency on Peter while pregnant.

“So, I can distract you from your bad thoughts by acting sort of possessive and taking you to bed? " Oh, he adores when his husband is afraid of showing a new side of himself and asks for permission ever so sweetly.

“Babe, if you don't, I'll kick you out of the apartment. Give me possessive Peter Parker any day you want, like I'm gonna complain about a gorgeous, brilliant twenty something year old all over me. Now what's it gonna be, alpha dear, bathroom or bedroom? I wouldn't mind the tile but, oh God, I forgot you could pick me up." Tony clings to broad shoulders, can't help but laugh because aren't they a pair?

-------------------------

After having what he's sure was the best sex of his life, Tony stumbles out of the bedroom with torn clothes, a dazed look in his eyes and several bruises blossoming around his neck. Peter's halfway out the doorway when Tony whistles, makes sure all their family is paying attention, blurts out, “Peter and I are having a kid. I'm pregnant, woohoo, it's great, it's amazing, save your congratulations for later. We'll do a proper thing soon, if anyone interrupts and they're not dying, I'll kill you myself. See you in a few hours, " and yanks him back in while Friday activates Sock on the Doorknob Protocol.

Rhodey and Nat clink glasses while waiting on the others to pay up on their bets regarding Tony and Peter's odd behavior.

--------------------------

Later, much later, like, two days later, they have a proper dinner with their family in the tower. There are balloons and streamers, cake and ice cream, warm hugs and gentle cheek kisses, subtle tears and full on weeping (Happy had to borrow a box of Kleenex), pictures and videos and a pile of gifts taller than Tony.

The most important thing, though, is that the A.I recorded the reaction after Clint asked about baby names. He's grateful they went to the doctor before tonight. The visit revealed a treasure Tony thought he'd never have. Now it's time to reveal it to their pack.

His husband snuggles up to him, is so ecstatic the whole dining room smells like cinnamon and honey, like joyous love he'll never get enough of. Tony grins at him, curls their hands together and repeats the same thing over and over again in his head.

It'll be ok. They'll be ok. If the universe keeps giving Tony the greatest gifts he could ever want, maybe it's time he stopped looking at the horse's mouth. That's how it goes, right? Right.

He turns to look at Peter, loves him so much it aches, feels tiny feet pressing against his stomach. Guesses he's not the only one smitten with this incredible human being.

“We were thinking Marie,” Peter smiles at him, eyes lit up and lovely.

Tony is never going to forget this moment, this warmth in his chest.

“And Benjamin Parker-Stark.”

Their family loses their shit and both Friday and Karen have ample proof.

(@puppypeter look, omega tones! @tonystarkisaslut thank you so much for allowing me to use the prompt board! I am still accepting prompts! Although I can't guarantee getting them ready within a few days, I'll try to finish them on the one week mark depending on how long the fic is!)

#tony stark #peter parker #starker #peter parker x tony stark #ironspider #peter x tony #soft!starker #lovely anon #prompt fill #my writing #baby announcement #alpha!peter #omega!tony #omegaverse starker #did i love writing this? #yes i did #mpreg #a/b/o

[anthonyed]

There's a flower on his table-top. It's the last thing Tony notices; shrivelled, half hidden under a stack of folders with a leaf torn and browned. 

He stares at it for a full five minutes, muscles tensing further and further until the wrench cuts bluntly into his right palm and he hisses as he drops it, feeling burnt. 

It's a quick second distraction from that aged flower but it serves its purpose perfectly. 

Tony turns away, calling for Dum-E to throw it into the trash. 

-

Habitually, he drinks his coffee black and hot. No sugar, no milk needed. Just a quick fix to boost his system so it can function for another four hours. 

Natasha catches him at 4am, wrapped in a woolen cardigan with an irritated frown on her pretty face. 

She stares at him, and stares while he stares right back at her. It's like they're both trying to shift through words to find the right one to say. 

Eventually she turns away and leaves. 

Tony's not surprised, nor is he going to admit it bothers him more than he likes to think. 

-

Clint is blunt. And brutal. 

It's perhaps all the times he'd fallen on his head throughout his life, that he doesn't shy away from calling Tony an asshole, face forward.

"You just gotta destroy someone else along with yourself don't you?" His words cut like daggers.

-

If he's honest, Tony cries. 

Two weeks after that dried rose, he stares at a teardrop on its spot. He hates the stream that doesn't stop but guess that's the price he has to pay for breaking someone's heart. 

It's a strange sort of thing, to notice a drop of clear liquid before realising what it is and then, where it's from. Humiliating too. For Stark men don't cry but Tony always manages to break that streak somehow. 

No wonder Howard hated him when he was alive. 

-

It's the sight of Steve that does it in the end. 

Forlorn in his long cotton sweatpants and thick beard and he's as good as he'd last seen him, or maybe better. But his blue eyes shine less, like something's hardened over them and when they meet Tony, they stare right through him as if he's a stranger.

And that's way too brutal than what he did, Tony thinks. 

Indifference versus rejection and the former will always be the grand prize winner. 

-

One night, after four months of turning away from each other, Steve comes to stand by the window where Tony's at; nursing a glass of whiskey for his rotten heart and his presence is so thick that it moulds around Tony like a warm cocoon. Comfort which he's been yearning for ages now within his reach but it's not really his to own, is it?

They don't speak. They don't look. They simply stand there right next to each other as if testing their boundaries and it goes on for hours and Tony feels tired; his eyes burn with sleep and whiskey but something in his veins pleads him to stay cause it knows if he leaves now, this will be it. 

He doesn't leave. 

-

Two days later, Steve puts a strip of bacon on his plate of breakfast and carries on flipping pancakes like there is nothing out of normal. 

Clint's bite of waffle catches dust on its fork while his jaw hangs slacken staring at both of them. 

Natasha's smirking, but it's barely there, for barely a second before it's gone behind a mug of jasmine tea which scents the whole kitchen. 

Tony chokes on a strawberry, is what all of them think, but really it's a huge lump of tears stuck in his throat which grows and grows until Sam whacks him on the back with all his strength combined. 

"Jesus Christ," he hisses between shaking his head. 

-

Someone tells him on a Saturday, while the Sun is pouring hot into his workspace that Steve is still hung on him as he was before the mess. 

Tony puts a name to that someone when he discards his goggles and meets piercing grey eyes behind a swath of long brown mane and, "My God," he says, "Do you have no plans to cut that lump of grease, Barnes?"

-

One day, he passes by a flower shop on the busy New York street while in search for caffeine post board meeting and it's a slight hesitation in his steps before he hurries along that sits with him until the dead of the night and he recalls vividly the smell of that dried rose he trashed that day and the ache in his chest which feels better now and he's thinking and thinking and -

He orders a bouquet the next day. 

100 red roses within a mass of baby breaths and it's delivered to the garage, not to its intended recipient because Tony is still not sure this day. 

And he still isn't sure even after a day, and another and those roses lose their luster and they wilt and they rot and Dum E kindly blends them into a smoothie which Tony pukes into the toilet bowl a week later. 

-

The thing is, it's not the roses but Steve that he isn't so sure. 

Sure, Barnes was a twittering little nosy bird who sprinkled some hope in Tony's dead garden. Sure, their friends tease them during battles or sometimes some random moments when their eyes meet, or fingers touch or Steve places an extra pancake on Tony's plate or when Tony gives Steve's shield back looking shinier before ever -

Sure, there are instances but, nothing was ever said between them after Tony tossed Steve's heart into the trash can and everything feels broken still sometimes when it's only two of them in a space together. 

-

Courage comes in the form of a death threat when a rebar goes through and through Steve's chest but it barely misses his heart and Tony loses his shit like never. 

If ever Rhodey has seen him so still, it is now by Steve's bedside smelling miraculously of both blood and antiseptic. Even Pepper couldn't get through him, in the end. 

It takes 10 days and three hours for Steve to open his eyes and the first thing he smells is sweet floral. 

Almost too much to the point that he scrunches his nose. Too much that he forgets the pulsating pain at his right temple and the tearing one in his breastbone. But he sees Tony in the mass of red, white, yellow and almost every other color in a rainbow and he understands immediately where the source of it comes from. 

"Maybe I went overboard," Tony rubs his nape, looking oddly out of place but beyond desperate. 

Steve's hand, already in his, gives a good squeeze and he feels better, marginally, but still unearthed. Like he shouldn't be here, but he couldn't help himself because he needs to and he just has to.

Steve croaks, "Just a little," and the twitch of his mouth gives more hope than a lake to a man in a desert. Tony drinks all of it like a starved man and he lets out a sigh he's been holding for ages. And the apology too, slipping through his lips into the clasp of both of their hands. 

"I'm sorry," smelling sickeningly sweeter than the rose which came with Steve's 'I love you' eight months ago and it makes Tony wince. 

Steve's silent through it. Through another hour Tony spends rambling over nothing and everything because Steve hasn't said anything and even then, even when Tony leaves, closing the door behind him, Steve doesn't say a single word. 

-

"Maybe you're wrong," Tony wants to tell him. It's the only reason why he climbs out of his workshop at 3 in the morning because that's when their resident Robocop comes out for late night munchies. 

And he almost says those words because that pair of shoulders are familiar as well as the black hoodie draped over them, except the owner of that body turns and Tony stops dead in his tract, breath caught in his chest because that is not Bucky Barnes but Steve Rogers. 

And then he turns 180 and bolts out of the kitchen.

-

Once upon a time, the only person who'd dare to call him coward to his face would have been Rhodey. But now he's got like 10 of him and everywhere he turns, he seems to run into one of them. 

"What are you running from?" Bruce asks him one day and Tony almost tells him. Almost. Cause it's Bruce and he would never judge but that is about it. 

Something about all of this with Steve makes Tony feel like he should be judged. Bound to a stake and forced to face his judgement day because that's what he deserves for breaking Steve's heart. 

So he opens his mouth, and he closes and he shakes his head and pretends Bruce never asked him a thing at all. 

-

And then Steve walks into his shop - Jarvis, that bloody traitor - and Tony is so shocked about this turn of event that he misses the close proximity Steve puts himself to Tony when he asks roughly, "Did you forget I almost got killed?"

When Tony shakes his head mutedly, he asks, "Then you don't care to see if I recover. Is that it?"

Aghast, Tony opens his mouth to protest but Steve doesn't let him. 

"You spent days sitting and mourning by my bed when I was unconscious and you bought so many flowers as if you wanted to bury me in them. Did you want to bury me in them? Is that why you're running away from me now that I'm back alive?"

And that hurts because, "How dare you?" Tony whispers, breath lost in boiling blood and he blinks back hot tears, looking up at the man he loves. 

Those hardened blue eyes melt and they shine with tears when Steve cups his face and demands, "Then why are you avoiding me?"

"Honestly? Cause I think you hate me," and there it is. The ringing truth which Tony didn't know existed until it comes tumbling out of his mouth and his throat pains when he tries to swallow a building lump cause it hurts to look at Steve when he looks like he's been cut by a thousand knives. 

So he tries to turn away but Steve pulls him into a bone-crushing hug and hisses into the crown of his head, a remarkably unfamiliar word to ever be directed at Tony Stark. 

"Idiot."

#stevetony #stony #mine #and i finished this last night

[css1992]

could u do more high school au's pls? I was thinking maybe rich popular peter who seems untouchable and then grungy tony who just doesnt care for appearances and hes been pining after peter his whole school life

+

could u make it so that tony is rich and everyone knows it but he just doesn't care about his money and doesnt act rich so it's one of those things that u know but dont acknowledge. also if tony's daddy issues made an appearance id be so happy ty.

I’m so sorry for the delay, but I really do hope this scratches your itch! 

***

He had that sort of beauty that almost hurt to look at. So pure and soft. Pink cheeks, small eyes that squinted when he laughed – which was often –; brown, wavy hair, so shiny and silky-looking; thin, pink lips, always stretched in a smile. He had the most beautiful smile Tony had ever seen, too. Honest and wide, happy.

He was never alone. Of course he wasn’t. He was too magnetic, there were always people drawn to his light, following him around, laughing at his jokes, making him laugh in return. Everyone seemed to want a piece of him, a scrap of his attention. And he, being the lovely human being that he was, made room for anyone who wished to bask in his light.

Jocks liked him. Peter was great at team sports, he was light on his feet and good with his hands. He wasn’t in any teams, though, claimed he didn’t have the time, but he was always picked first in P.E. group activities. Tony knew, watched him at practice way too often – from a distance, of course, as he did his stretches and sit-ups with Rhodes.

Nerds liked him, too. He was really smart, an asset to the Decathlon team, and was always willing to help anyone having trouble in class. Even the weirdos from drama club, glee club and the school band loved him – he never made fun of them, on the contrary, he was always very vocal about how talented they were and how he wished he could be a part of their clubs, too.

Girls swooned at him. He was kind and sweet, a good listener, and gorgeous. Guys weren’t immune to his charms, either. The ones Tony knew for a fact that were gay or bi didn’t even try to pretend they didn’t watch him when he walked down the halls, but even supposedly straight guys, like Steve Rogers, sneaked a peek now and then, face flushed, if he was wearing specially tight jeans.

Tony was jealous of all those people, but he learned to deal with it. He’d been, well, admiring him from a distance for years. He was used to seeing people make passes at him, ask him out. Peter was discreet, though. If he ever dated anyone, nobody ever heard anything about it. He was a mystery, Tony wasn’t even sure if he was gay, straight, bi or whatever – there were rumors that he had made out with Wade Wilson in freshman year, but neither of them confirmed or denied it. Tony hated the guy anyway.

“If you keep staring, people are gonna know you’re in love and not actually dead inside,” Rhodey spoke up right next to him, taking a huge bite of his tuna sandwich. Tony averted his gaze from Peter’s table for a minute and looked at his friend, annoyed. “It’s gonna ruin your whole aesthetic.”

“Very funny,” He rolled his eyes and looked back at Peter. There were so many people around him he could barely catch a glimpse of his smile, which was annoying.

His dad’s company, Parker Innovations, had just released a new phone a few weeks earlier, it was ridiculous how many people thought they could get one for free if they kissed his ass hard enough. At least Tony didn’t have to endure that kind of nonsense anymore. People in that school learned very early on that even though he was related to Howard Stark, he wanted nothing to do with the guy – or his company, or his money. They also learned sucking up to him did nothing but annoy him, so they kind of just forgot he existed over time and he blended right in with everyone else – a blessing in its own right.

“Rhodey is right, you’re drooling, it’s a little embarrassing,” Natasha looked at him with boredom as she nibbled on her fries. “You should just ask him out, you’ve been pining for ages.”

“I’m not pining,” he huffed, irritated, and the redhead smirked, raising a perfectly manicured brow.

“Right, yearning might be more accurate. Bruce?” She glanced at their other friend who scratched his chin, pretending to think about it.

“I think obsessing sounds more like it. Rhodey?”  

“Fuck you guys,” he barked before they could keep the game going, and all three laughed at him. Someone got up from Peter’s table and he caught a glimpse of his beautiful face, their eyes made contact for half a second and Tony looked away.

“No, but seriously, Tones. Just go talk to him, he’s a great guy, I’m sure he wouldn’t be an ass about it.” Bruce adjusted his glasses and said that like it was simple. Like he would have the guts to do it if he was in Tony’s position – he wouldn’t, he’d pined for Thor, an exchange student, for a year, and never worked up the courage to ask him out. The guy went back to Norway or whatever and Bruce never even said hi to him.

“I know, of course he wouldn’t, but I don’t wanna be one of those people begging for his attention, just look at that.” He pointed at the little crowd around him, people were almost literally fighting for his attention, the poor guy could barely finish his lunch. “It’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah, but you’re not them,” Natasha said that like it was the most obvious thing in the world and Tony frowned.

“How am I different?”

“You’re a certified genius, you and him have similar interests and you look hot in a ‘I’m gonna fuck  you raw in the back of my car’ kinda way. I don’t know, maybe he’s into that.” The redhead shrugged, again, saying all that like it was obvious and an unquestionable truth.

“Yeah, right, sounds just like him,” Tony scoffed.

Peter was perfect in so many ways – perfect face, perfect body, perfect grades, Tony was sure he pooped out candy or something – of course he wouldn’t go for a guy like him. He had a bad reputation, he was in detention more often than not and people in general considered him an asshole – all because he didn’t partake in their little games of social climbing or whatever. No, Peter wouldn’t go for his grungy ass. He’d probably go for all American, apple pie, boy-next-door Steve Rogers.

“No, she’s right, I’ve seen him looking at you several times.” Bruce pointed out, not for the first time, and Tony scoffed.

“Oh, yeah? When?”

“AP chemistry class. I’m his lab partner, remember?” How could Tony forget? As Mr. Erskine called out their names, Tony prayed to a God he didn’t even believe in that he’d be paired up with Peter, but no such luck. “He stares at you whenever he has a chance or an excuse. You know, when you blow things up, for example.”

“Yeah, which is why he must stare, he must be afraid for his life.” Tony hated to admit that he was way more prone to causing explosive accidents when Peter was in the room. It was fucking embarrassing.

He sighed, drinking the last of his coke. No matter what his friends said, he knew he didn’t stand a chance with Peter. He was… Untouchable. He was too good for him, Tony wasn’t even sure he’d want to taint him if he had a chance –  no, scratch that, he definitely would.

He chose to watch him from afar, allowing himself a few fantasies and daydreams. He had this really stupid and lame one, where he walked up to Peter in the hall, people just parted to let him through, then he gave him his trademark, lopsided grin and asked him out. Peter smiled brightly up at him, holding his books to his chest, cheeks flushed, eyelashes fluttering as he whispered a shy “yes” and leaned up to kiss him. Yeah. That was the whole fantasy.

Peter was so untouchable to him that he didn’t even dare to dream further than that. Of course when he was alone in his room, late at night, relieving himself, a few… less pure fantasies popped up unsolicited, but he felt so guilty then, dirty even, like he was disrespecting him somehow. It was all very confusing, but he still came, shamefully, to the thought of his beautiful face scrunched up in pleasure as dream-Tony fucked him.

The bell rang and everyone hurried to get to their next period, Peter was no different, he gathered his things and stood up, looking around the cafeteria like he was looking for someone. Their eyes met again for a second, but Tony quickly looked away, grabbing his backpack in a hurry to leave.

It was Thursday, the worst day of the week for him, none of his friends were free to hang out with him until later, so he either had to head home and deal with Howard or he had to find somewhere to be for a couple of hours, until Rhodey was done with football practice so they could go to his place. That day, Tony decided to just stay by his car, smoking a cigarette and singing along to Black Sabath’s Iron Man, it wasn’t like he had anywhere to go. He was so distracted watching the smoke dissipate into thin air that he didn’t notice when someone approached, and jumped almost a foot in the air when they spoke.

“Aren’t you afraid of getting caught smoking on school grounds?” Tony almost dropped dead when he registered the angelic voice. He was already having a heart attack as it was, but the boy was so close and he had that beautiful smile in place, blushing cheeks and all. It took almost a full minute for him to calm himself down.  

“I won’t tell if you don’t.” The older teen answered when he finally found his voice and got his breath under control enough not to make a fool of himself. Peter smiled wider, biting his lower lip.

“Your secret is safe with me.” He fake whispered, leaning a little into the older boy’s space and he almost choked on nothing. Peter’s smell was inebriating, expensive and sweet, but not overly so – perfect. He recomposed himself quickly, though, and nodded, but didn’t say anything else. He wasn’t sure why Peter was talking to him and, frankly, he was too fucking nervous to think of anything cool to say. The younger teen deflated a little faced with Tony’s silence; he looked around, seeming a little lost. “You’re Tony, right?”

Fuck, the way he said his name. His name. It was fucking music to his ears, the most beautiful tune. But how did he even know his name? Sure, he was Tony Stark, so not really anonymous, but people often forgot about it.

“Yeah. And you’re Peter.” Tony didn’t play games, he didn’t even try to pretend like he didn’t know who Peter was. It would be dumb anyway, everybody knew him. The other boy nodded shyly, it looked like he wanted to say something else, but he kept biting his lips and looking around nervously. Tony frowned. “Is everything okay?”

“No. I mean, yeah, sure, it’s fine, it’s just, uhm. I have a flat tire and the wheel bolts are really tight and I couldn’t get them off, so I thought – I mean, could you, uh –“ He gestured wildly as he stuttered out his answer, looking in the general direction of his flashy, cherry red sports car. “I mean, it’s okay if you’re busy, but I –“

“Sure, I’ll help, don’t worry.” Tony threw his cigarette butt on the ground and stepped on it. He was a little more at ease now that he knew why Peter was talking to him – he just needed help – and the best thing was, Tony was really good with cars. Of course, one didn’t need to have a PhD in mechanics to change a tire, but it still made him feel really good that he would be able to help properly.

“Thanks, you’re a life saver.” The chirpy attitude was back, as well as the smile, it made Tony’s heart flutter. He nodded sharply, looking away from his face, and gestured for Peter to lead the way.

When they reached his car, Tony whistled lowly, crouching down to look at the completely flat tire, as he tried to find the source of the problem. He was surprised to notice a two-inch cut on the surface of it, and it didn’t seem accidental.

“Fuck, Peter, it looks like someone sliced your tire.” When he looked up at the younger boy, he didn’t look surprised, but nervous. It was an odd reaction. Tony wondered if Peter already knew that – maybe he knew who did it and was scared of them? It made Tony’s blood boil. Why would anyone do that to Peter?

“Wh-what? How do you know that?” He bit his lower lip nervously, scratching his arm, and Tony frowned, worried.

“Here, look.” He gestured for Peter to crouch down next to him and pointed at the cut. “This is clearly a stab mark. Judging by the size and shape of it, I’d say this was probably done with a pocketknife.”

“Oh. Yeah, of course. Clearly.” He face-palmed, like he felt stupid, maybe for not seeing it before, but Tony still worried.

“If you want, I could go with you to the administration. We can ask them to check the security cameras. I think that one might have caught whoever did this.” He pointed at a security camera nearby, Tony knew where all of them were in the parking lot area – he’d been caught smoking way too many times not to know.

“What? There are –? I mean, look, it’s okay, it’s probably just someone trying to play a prank, it’s no big deal, it’s fine.” He stood up quickly, shaking his head, and Tony was positive he felt threatened somehow, he was acting so weird.

“If you’re sure… But if you change your mind, I’ll go with you, ok?” Tony stood up and took off his leather jacket. The weather was nice, just a bit chilly, so he was wearing a thin, white t-shirt with short sleeves underneath. He thought he heard Peter’s breath hitch for a second, but it was probably just his imagination. “Can you hold this for me?” He held out his jacket and the boy blushed, blinking rapidly.

“S-sure.”

Tony bit his bottom lip to refrain from asking, again, if everything was fine. Peter looked so freaking nervous, he was even sweating a little at the temples. Tony was positive he knew who did that to his car, but didn’t want to tell him for some reason. Maybe he wanted to protect whoever did it, maybe it was a boyfriend, or an ex. He gritted his teeth, hands closing in fists, but didn’t say anything, just crouched down and got to work.

The first bolt came off easily, it wasn’t tight at all, so he thought maybe Peter had already loosened it when he tried earlier. The second and third ones came off just as easily, though, only the fourth one was a little trickier, but nothing the younger teen couldn’t have handled himself. Tony thought maybe he hadn’t tried too hard, maybe he was afraid the person who did that would show up or something. He was so glad he was there to help, he wondered if Peter felt safe with him around, and the thought made him feel oddly proud and protective of him.

He made quick work of changing the tires, making sure not to screw the bolts too tight, then put the sliced one in the trunk of the car. When he turned around to look at Peter, he was looking intently at him, almost hypnotized, holding his jacket close to his chest like it was a puppy.

“All done.” Tony smiled and the boy seemed to snap out of a trance.

“Oh, thank you so much, really, you’re too kind.” He smiled broadly and the older teen scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Don’t mention it.” They were silent for a few seconds after that, but Peter kept holding his jacket and didn’t make any move to give it back to him. “Uhm, could I–?” He gestured towards the jacket and again the boy jumped up in surprise.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, here.” He handed it to him and quickly crossed his empty arms over his chest. “So, uhm,… Your dad is having a gala this weekend, right? Are you gonna be there?” Ah, so Peter did know who he was, not just his first name. The older teen leaned against the car and stuck his hands in his pockets, shrugging.

“Not if I can help it.” He smirked, trying to act cool, but now that he didn’t have anything to do with his hands, he was growing nervous.

“Oh,” Peter looked… disappointed? He dropped his gaze to the floor, shuffling his feet, and Tony stood up straight, frowning.

“Why?”

“Nothing, it’s just – my parents are going, so I thought I’d tag along to, you know... but it’s okay.” He kicked an imaginary rock and avoided Tony’s eyes. The older teen stared at him with wide eyes, heart beating fast – what was the end of that sentence? Peter couldn’t possibly mean–

“I don’t – what, you’d go to, like, hang out with me or something?” He felt stupid when he stumbled on the words, but Peter didn’t seem to notice, his cheeks were burning red and he was looking anywhere else but at Tony.

“I mean, you must have much better things to do, of course, I was just –” He chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head, finally looking up at Tony. “Sorry, just forget about it, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“No, wait!” He rushed to interrupt him and Peter looked back at him with huge, Bambi eyes. Tony coughed awkwardly, blushing a little. “I mean, like, uhm… If you – would you wanna go as my date? To the gala?” He blurted out, finally, because what the hell. The worst that could happen was Peter say no, and he could deal with it. He would survive, for sure. It wouldn’t be a big deal. Really. It wouldn’t.

But he didn’t say no, he smiled broadly, eyes twinkling in excitement.

“I’d love to!” He answered quickly, and Tony’s heart fluttered, Peter looked genuinely happy.  “Could you – uhm, text me what color of tie you’ll be wearing? If you want! I understand if you think it’s lame, but I thought–”

“No, it’s fine.” His heart was beating so loud, Peter Fucking Parker wanted to coordinate ties with him, it was fucking corny and cliché and he loved it. “Uhm, here, give me your number.” He fished his phone from his back pocket and gave it to the younger teen.

“Cool.” Peter typed in his number and as soon as he gave his phone back, Tony sent him a smiley face so he would have his number, too. “Cool, cool, cool...” He rocked on the balls of his feet and looked around, like he was looking for something else to say.

“So… Do you have to be home soon or…?” Tony stuck his hands in his pockets again, wondering if maybe he was pushing his luck, but Peter shook his head quickly.

“Not really, no, my parents don’t really mind what time I get home as long as I let them know. You?”

“They don’t really care.” He shrugged, taking one step closer to Peter. “So… are you hungry, by any chance?”

“I’m starving.” He nodded, looking up at Tony in anticipation. It drove the butterflies in his stomach crazy.

“I know a place where they serve great burgers. We could go in my car and I could drop you off here on our way back, I’m just a little worried someone is gonna try to fuck up your car again. I mean, what if they’re targeting you or something?” Just the mention of what happened earlier made Peter nervous. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his bomber jacket and shook his head.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, I’m sure it’s fine.” He didn’t look worried, though, at least not anymore.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, trust me, I am.” Tony found the sudden change odd, but thought maybe he was just trying to play it cool, so he let it go.  

“Okay, then, c’mon, my car is right there,” Tony gestured to his car and Peter smiled, taking his hands off his pockets. When he did, though, something slipped out and fell to the ground with a metallic noise. Tony quickly crouched down to get it for him, when he noticed what it was. “Wh – is that…?” He frowned, examining the pocketknife as if it was alien material. He was confused at first, because Peter didn’t seem like the kind of guy to carry one around, but then it dawned on him. When he looked at the younger teen, his face was so red it looked like he was about to explode.

“Uhm… If I told you I’ve never seen this before in my life would you believe it?” He chuckled nervously, scratching his arm, as Tony stood up. The older teen raised a brow at him.”Sorry, I just – I wanted an excuse to talk to you.” He said quietly, dropping his gaze.

“You know, you could have gone with the weather or whatever.” Tony answered, amused, and it made the younger boy look up at him.

“You’re just very intimidating,” He looked at him with huge, scared eyes, and Tony cocked his head to the side.

“Me?” He raised a brow.

“Yeah.” Peter answered pointedly, and Tony smirked, offering him his knife back.

“You do realize you just sliced your own tire so you’d have an excuse to talk to me, right? And I’m intimidating?” He joked, but Peter didn’t seem to find it funny. He winced and covered his face with his hands, clearly embarrassed.

“You must think I’m such a freak,” He groaned, voice muffled by his palms.

“Hey, hey, yes, I do think you’re a freak.” He grabbed Peter’s thin wrists and marveled at how perfectly they fit in his hands. He definitely saved that thought for later. “But you’re a really cute one.” He grinned and Peter chuckled, a delicate flush rising onto his cheeks.

“I feel stupid.” He admitted, worrying his bottom lip, but Tony shook his head, working up the nerve to cup Peter’s face in his hand.

“I feel flattered,” He said, honestly, and Peter’s breath hitched. He stared up at Tony, eyelashes fluttering, moist, pink lips slightly open. The older teen leaned down slowly and when the Peter closed his eyes, their lips touched. Just like in his fantasies, Peter tasted sweet, his lips were soft and his arms circled Tony’s neck in a warm embrace. When they parted, Tony smiled down at him, stroking his blushing cheek. “Just promise that if this doesn’t work out you won’t, like, key my car or something.”

“Oh, God,” he groaned, but they both laughed out loud, as they walked hand in hand across the parking lot.

#starker #high school au

[chronic-invisibility]

Vent/ rant incoming. Feel free to skip but please don’t reblog.

Ok so fuck my whole town council and fuck these two dudes in particular i didnt want to fucking sue but now since they cant just be decent human beings and put aside their pride for two fucking seconds now bc i threatened legal action i’m actually gonna have to do it. Like thanks a lot you two im so fucking pissed at them i seriously wanna fuck up their houses or cars or fucking FACES but no i have to be the bigger person and sue their asses and then try to make sure they dont get reelected. Fuck. I hate this stupid fucking town and these stupid fucking assholes and i want to hit someone and i want to be an asshole and fuck them over but no i just have to have morals and also parents who refuse to let me be a jerk. Like if they want to make me the villain so bad then fine why cant i be the villain? Fuck it, i’ll go all cassie howard on their asses and start screaming and make a big fuckin scene and then go maddie perez and bitch slap their asses back to the 1940s where their politics belong. Fucking assholes, i have a bigger dick than either of them and i KNOW im more of a man than they’ll ever be and neither of them probably have ever even heard of a clit much less touched one. Fuck those guys. Seriously. I wanna fuckin egg their houses or slit their tires or banana their cars or at least just fucking hit them in their stupid fucking faces.

“What do i have to apologize for?” Oh i dont know asshole, maybe causing all this mess in the first place bc you dont know how to keep your shitty ass ideas to your fucking self? Prick. And the other guy, seriously? My mom got up and point blank asked if he was going to apologize and he fucking smirked and said no. That it’s his freedom of speech. No asshole, your freedom of speech ends where it violates mine. And you did violate my freedom of speech. Just because you’re too stupid to read the constitution doesnt mean it doesnt exist. And now i’m going to sue your ass into the ground. Fucking cowards.

#vent #please don't rb