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#and most of all keep a cool head and stay rational about how much we supposedly 'know' in relation to these people
boinin · 9 months
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Blue Lock Manga
After two weeks of creeping hysteria and stir-craziness redditors know what I mean, the scanlation for Chapter 222 (“Design”) has dropped. My usual new chapter rambling under the cut.
No mention of a break next week 🎉
Previous chapter analyses
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1. Hiori finds his mojo (isagi. it's been isagi all along)
I had hoped best boi's ego would be linked to combating Ubers more so than Isagi, but alas, the harem of simps/rivals proved too compelling to pass on. This seems to be set-up for Noa to substitute Hiori on in place of Kurona once the three-minute star change is over. But until then...
It's been pointed out on the subreddit that Isagi looks particularly good in that first panel. I would like to raise that Hiori is going doki-doki for Himsagi-kun in the second.
Guys, they know who they're appealing to with this manga. On that point...
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2. Soccer Dad Star Showdown
Blue Lock!! Where one half of the fandom are here for the world-class ball keeping techniques and the other half of the fandom are here for... the world-class ball keeping techniques 😏 Guess what camp I'm in?
The effect normal panels of Snuffy and Noa have on me. Guess I have a kink for competent football dads 🤷 /s Chris Prince and Lavinho could never.
Anyway, Snuffy hits the pitch hot and doesn't let BM catch a break. I really enjoyed his and Noa's face off. As much chaos as Lavinho and Prince caused during the two previous matches, Snuffy strikes me as a far bigger threat in terms of dismantling BM's defence (and showing up Noa). It takes BM's two most talented forwards to see off the shot Snuffy sets up for Barou. At the end of the chapter, as Ubers regroup to take on BM's defence again, I have a sinking feeling Snuffy's going to win this confrontation. And perhaps he should. What's rational exactly about a team at war?
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Unashamed thirst screenshot of Snuff. This one is really cool, didn't have time to clean it, but it looks bomb ✨ He's so threatening yet friendly? Realest of the bunch.
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3. Ness tries
...
...
That's it.
Like for real. He runs in, doesn't touch the ball, gets read to filth by a fifteen year old, and isn't seen again in this chapter.
When are we going to see some magic from the magician?
It's high time for Ness (as a professional player) to get his head in the game. This is the guy that outperformed everybody but Kaiser in the original BM stamina and technique test. He's subservient to his emperor, but even then, how is he this lacklustre?
Since Noa only cares about numbers, it seems like Ness is here to stay... but it sure is frustrating.
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4. Superbowl: Kaiser V Barou V Isagi
This is my favourite panel this week. Clock the auras: puzzles, thorned vines and lightning collide at last. Dope. I'm still new to colouring, so I'm not touching this one, but I can't WAIT to see what someone with serious skill does with it 🔥🔥🔥
It's refreshing to see Kaiser get worked up over someone other than Isagi. Got to spread the frustration, right?
Prediction tracker
(alternatively: how wrong can one nerd be week to week?)
Last time, I predicted: I think Snuffy's MO will be to set up a goal for Barou, while knocking Kaiser and Isagi down a peg. I hope he synergises with Lorenzo! Noa will be man marking Snuffy, but might get time to do some Isagi coaching while he's out there, who knows?
So far so good, right? I think this prediction will carry over into the next chapter. I'll caveat one thing: Isagi and Kaiser's backs must ache from carrying both the offence and defence of Bastard Munchen. They're the only BM players that aren't part of the circus as of the end of this chapter. Raichi, Yukimiya, Mensah and Birkenstock found dead in a ditch /s
I predict Barou will score the next goal, with Lorenzo providing an assist. Then Noa will make a substitution with the aim of countering Lorenzo and Ubers in the final play of the game...
Four chapters ago (chp 218), I predicted: As for who’ll be the true game changer? Said it already, but if Hiori’s not getting subbed on for our newly christened royal trash!Ness in the next five chapters, I’ll eat my hat. 🐑
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Have a funny feeling he'll get subbed in the chapter after next. If I'm decided a clown by chp 223, watch the egg on my face get cooked by chp 224. I don't think Ness is getting subbed out at this point.
Until next time! 😋👒
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ghostofskywalker · 1 year
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Mission Status: Freezing
Cassian Andor/Reader
Fictober Day 2 of 31
Words: 977
Summary: Stuck on the powerless ship after a blizzard grounds your mission, you and Cassian cuddle up to keep warm.
Cassian Andor Masterlist
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“What’s the status on repairs?” you asked, poking your head into the cockpit of the ship and trying to keep the shivers at bay.
“Necessary repairs are about fifteen percent complete,” the cool voice of K-2SO responded.
“That’s it? K, we’re freezing back here, and even though we’re stuck on this planet until this storm subsides, we need the power back.”
“I am aware of that, thank you for your input,” the droid responds, and you knew that if he could he would be rolling his eyes at you. “The repairs will be completed as soon as possible.”
“Let’s hope we live to see them finished,” you said, sighing as you began to head back to the main area of the ship.
“I heard that!”
“You were supposed to!”
Cassian chuckled as you plopped yourself down on the bench next to him. “K2 giving you trouble again?”
You nodded. “I could probably fix the ship faster at this rate, and maybe then we’d have power before we start growing icicles from our noses.”
“Hopefully the storm subsides and we can head back to the base,” he said gently. You shivered, and even though he would never admit it, you knew he was just as cold as you were. Even though you were each wearing several layers of clothing (and he had a fluffy coat that you were definitely jealous of), the chill was really setting in.
“Can we stop somewhere warm first?” you asked. “Scarif? Tatooine? I wouldn’t even turn down a trip to Mustafar at this point.”
“If you even survive this trip, I am sure Yavin 4 will be suitable for your needs,” K2’s voice cut into the conversation as he entered the room, and you looked up at him with a glare.
“What does ‘if I even survive this trip’ mean?” you asked. You and K2 rarely saw eye to eye, but he wasn’t the type to outright wish death upon you (you knew it was because he was simply too rational, but you liked to think it was because he had a soft spot for you), which meant that there was probably some other factor at play you were unaware of.
“I am unable to complete more than twenty five percent of the repairs,” the droid said. “And we won’t have power to the ship for more than twelve hours, even if all goes well. You and Cassian are both at risk of hypothermia, a problem which we have a disadvantage against right now.”
You nodded demurely as K2 returned to the cockpit to resume his repair attempts, there was no arguing with facts and logic. You had already spent about two hours in the ship without power, and any breaths you let out had long since started appearing in the air.
“Hey,” Cassian’s voice was quiet as he reached out and gently touched your arm. “Don’t listen to him. We’re going to be alright.”
“What happens if we can’t get the power back?” you said. “He’s right, we don’t have much to protect us from the cold.
“I don’t know,” he said. You could hear the uncertainty in his voice, and you appreciated how close he was to you right now. You had been harboring a small crush on your fellow rebel for some time now, but you were never really sure if he felt the same way. Maybe it was just the fact that it made more sense for the two of you to stay together, but you wanted to believe that he was sitting this close to you for other reasons.
You nodded as you got up, the cold having drained most of your energy. “I’m going to try and get some sleep on the cot, hopefully the power will be back by the time I wake up.” He nodded, and you suddenly felt very embarrassed about what you were going to ask next. “Would you- do you want to try and sleep too? We should probably try and conserve our natural body heat, especially if K2 was so pessimistic about the repair potential.”
Thankfully, if Cassian noticed your shaky tone, he didn’t say anything. “That’s probably the best idea,” he said, and the two of you stepped over to the cot on the other side of the ship. Thankfully it was large enough to fit you both, and you tried not to think about the implications of crawling into bed with the man you’d been crushing on for longer than you’d care to admit.
There were no blankets or pillows, and the two of you laid there with a little bit of room between you for a few minutes of awkward silence. It was getting colder by the minute, and you could feel the chill starting to seep into your bones, so you made a rash decision that might have appalled the more reserved version of yourself: you cuddled up closer to Cassian.
Although he was not incredibly warm, there was a small bit of relief as his body heat met yours. Gently, you laid your head on his chest, hoping with everything you had that he didn’t hate you right now. “I’m so sorry,” you said quickly.
Although you weren’t looking at him, you heard the sound of his quiet laughter and felt it resonating through his body as you laid there. “Don’t be,” he said. “I was just about to do the same to you in a moment, we need to conserve whatever heat we have. I don’t mind if you use me as a pillow.”
You just nodded, not trusting yourself to make the situation less awkward than it already was. Eventually, after what felt like forever, you felt your eyelids start to droop, and you allowed yourself to be taken over by sleep, really hoping that K2 was still working on getting the power back.
- the end - 
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anterocash · 1 year
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tw: Cash is in his hating women era in this, don't read
As usual, Cash sits in a hospital bed alone. There is no Deja Vu; this is his life now. Extended hospital stays, surgery, he almost requested no post-op medication — it scared him the last time how much he relied on the pills, but Ashley cut him the fuck cut up — Cash wants all of it, the nifty button he pushes and the strong stuff they have behind the bar goes straight into his veins. You’d think after being told that someone loves you, and then they vanish over a million times now, Cash wouldn’t be surprised. Yet, he lays in the bed staring at the door as if it would make the woman who put him here magically appear. 
The television plays quietly in the background as he taps at his phone; no one knows Cash was stabbed, and he intends to keep it that way. The one thing that sucks about these ‘emergency’ visits is not being able to pack his laptop or phone charger. That isn’t stopping him from writing in the notes app on his phone; he can’t let his mind go to mush worrying about an ex. Because that’s what Ashley is: an ex (he has the damn piece of paper in his strong box, they are separated in every sense of the word – minus name) who missed the dick too much. Or so he rationalizes, so he isn’t hurt by her absence. 
Because this really sucks. 
He’s taken to turning his phone off in intervals to conserve battery, and one of the nurses helping him said something about a charger for Cash earlier in the day. Still, with his renewed distrust in women, he sees her bringing it a fat chance in hell. With a resigned sigh, he puts his phone down next to him and tries to focus on the drama on TV, turning the volume up. Cash isn’t much for these types of shows – his life is dramatic enough, he doesn’t find escapism in watching it, he’s more of a comedy man, dramedy: he can put up with some tears if there is also laughter. He’s trying, though. The female lead is pretty. He doesn’t understand the point of having her flirt with the second male lead if the whole point is for her to end up with the first male lead she’s no doubt standing next to in the poster for the show. Just when he’s finally letting himself get something close to invested in the plot, there’s a knock on the door, and he sits up too fast, wincing in pain – well, it’s not real pain; he’s still pretty numbed up, but it didn’t feel good, and Cash reminded why he’s there. 
His nurse (sans phone charger, see? All women lie, even the helpful ones) pokes her head in with a worrisome look. “Mr. Shon –”
“It’s Cash, don’t worry about that with me.” She still seems flustered but nods. “Cash, there are detectives here to talk to you. Do you want me to tell them to come back later?” He corrects his glasses and clears his throat, muting the television. Cash presses the button for his happy drug to prepare himself; it will be the thing he misses the most when he’s discharged. “No… they will just keep coming back until I talk; let them in.” 
It feels like an episode of a cop show. They walk in – the three men sus each other up. There is no cool and manly way to look intimidating while sitting in a hospital bed, so Cash folds first, tilting his head expectantly at the other two. Well? Go on.
“How are you feeling, Cash? You’ve had quite the week. Do you remember anything from when you were dropped off?” Even though Cash is disappointed that Ashley hasn’t shown up (serial killers revisit the crime scene, everyone knows this, so what’s her damn excuse? Lying whore), he’s not a snitch or anything. “Um…” time to play weak. Cash takes a sip of ice water, eyeing the IV in his arm before he speaks. “No? I own a coffeehouse – Bean Through? We were closing – I was closing, and a guy wanted to rob me, and when he couldn’t, he –” Cash makes a stabbing motion towards his middle. “But I don’t remember much after he got me…”
The detectives nod in what they think is empathy.  Cash could care less if they actually believed his story. He’s not the one who committed a crime for once. Minkyu Lee has a decent-sized rap sheet, while Cash Shon? An upstanding citizen without even a speeding ticket. “But do you remember who got you here?” 
Cash’s permanent poker face finally comes to his aid. He doesn’t call it a ‘resting bitch face’ because he doesn’t think he’s a bitch. Maybe if ‘resting asshole face’ was a thing, maaaaybe. His expression stays the same as he shakes his head. Can’t beat the truth out of him. “Like I said, after he tried to get the money, I don’t remember much. Bastard sliced my hand good though when I tried to stop him.” One of the detectives nods while he jots something down in a tiny notebook, just like Cash used to do, while the other poorly conceals his distrust. “Who’s the woman that dropped you off? Why didn’t you call 112?”
Why are you asking so many goddamn questions? It is on the tip of Cash’s tongue, and he swallows it. He doesn’t need a fine for swearing at a cop or whatever those uniformed gang members do these days when they figure out someone else’s balls are bigger than theirs in the room. “I don’t know.” Honest answer, Cash knew it would have been better if he was transported in an ambulance, but he was trying to avoid this from happening, so either way, he’s screwed and stabbed. 
And she still hasn’t shown up. 
“She… she must have found me and got me here. I just remember laying there thinking I would bleed out, and then I woke up here.” 
“Is it possible that the perpetrator will appear on the security footage at your coffeehouse?” 
Shit. 
Cash didn’t think that far. And why should he? 
Because he would rather Ashley finish the job than admit a woman stabbed him, even if it was out of love? Fake love clearly since she hasn’t come to visit yet.
“Possibly? I’ll have to ask the manager to bring you the security footage….” Cash yawns to really drive it home that he’s ready for them to leave.
The cops nod, and the one with the notebook leaves a business card, “call us when you remember anything, Mr. Shon.” Cash is so ready for them to go he doesn’t bother to correct him. Mr. Shon is so… proper. He presses his handy dandy button and feels the effects immediately. 
“Will do…”
They leave, and Cash unmutes the television, yawning from the strong medicine kicking in. The episode is over, whatever; Cash wasn’t paying much attention to it anyway. Just when he’s about to doze off, another knock on the door gets his attention. He’s given up on expecting Ash to show up, so he doesn’t risk his stitches to sit up. It’s the nurse.
“Cash, I bought you a phone charger.”
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4ujworks · 1 year
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4uJworks Moving Company Inc.
You can find a lot of papers on the internet that try to educate you “ how to make your move stress-free ”. still, we do n’t agree with that. Moving implies a bit of stress because it's an important decision. There are also numerous effects you have to do and make sure you complete rightly. Not to mention that, like nearly everything, it implies change and some misgivings. That's why we're religionists of making moving less stressful. An important part of achieving that's knowing that, rationally, moving is a stressful event. numerous effects demand your attention and it can overwhelm you at times! still, rest assured that it's fully possible to make the experience less stressful.
5 PRACTICAL, HANDY TIPS TO MAKE MOVING LESS STRESSFUL
1. Accept that stress is a normal part of the moving process The first step to prostrating moving stress isacceptance.However, you ’re less likely to let it set you back when it happens, If you��admit that you're presumably going to dodge some stress over the course of your move. You'll be prepared for it. suppose about it like this stress is a natural mortal response to a demanding circumstance. still, you have a say-so in how you reply to that stress. You can take it as commodity negative and have a bad time. Or you can work your way through it and negotiate great effects. Our stylish advice is to take the stress for what it's and admit the feeling. That way, you can actually work with it rather of being controlled by it. The most important thing is to fete the stress without letting it discourage you from the tasks at hand.
2. Stay systematized! commodity that will help you a lot before, during, and after your move is to be organized every step of the way! For this, a list will be a veritably good supporter. There are a lot of effects you have to do ahead, during, and after a move. Keeping all of this only in your head could lead to redundant stress and to forgetting some details. So to reduce stress and minimize obliviousness, writing everything down will surely make a big difference! There are numerous coffers on the internet that can help you. You can check out packing rosters or moving rosters to get some alleviation.
3. Honor the trip, all of it Moving is also a heavily emotional process. piecemeal from all the effects you have to do, moving means a lot of change will come to your life. You leave effects before and you meet new people. This can induce both stress and excitement. So, honor that process and live the trip completely. effects that can help ease your stress are to probe about your new city, neighbourhood or megacity. Do n’t concentrate only on what you're leaving before and how that makes you sad. You can also look forward to all the new, cool effects awaiting you!
4. Try to keep a positive mindset Keeping a positive mindset makes a big difference in every aspect of your life, not just moving! Science has shown that positive thinking helps with stress operation and can indeed ameliorate your health. So while you face the stress generated by your forthcoming move, flash back to see it in a positive light. Embrace it, accept it, be patient with yourself. And try to see the bright side of effects. This will surely make a difference for the better. It's also veritably important to look for support in musketeers and family rather of dealing with everything by yourself. Speaking with others will help you keep your bases predicated and not get carried down by the stress.
5. Reduce clutter as much as possible Clutter is stressful. So to reduce the visual stress created by clutter, try to minimize the junk that’s enwrapping redundant space in your home. You'll feel more relieved nearly incontinently. You can clear the clutter using the Marie Kondo system or simply by organizing effects into three piles vend, contribute, and throw down. This will also help you a lot with moving, because you'll have lower effects to worry about. You can indeed look at moving as an occasion to declutter. Flash back how we talked about trying to keep a positive mindset? Well, how you approach organizing and decluttering can make a big difference. Oh, and another pro tip? unload in your new position as soon as you can. This will help you avoid effects piling up.
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littlewetbeast · 3 years
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#okay i totally understand that the tinhatty post that went around was generally not taken by those in my circles to be like#ooohh misha is gonna send us secret messages#and more along the lines of 'misha perceives people here and loves to troll'#although i personally am doubtful it was on purpose#i understand people just want to have fun#and at the heart of it op was genuinely just trying to be well-meaning#it was one of those instances where i felt i needed to step back and reassess how i talk about jenmish here#i adore all of my cockles mutuals and i understand those who reblogged it did it all in good fun and more as an 'wtf misha'#i just think no matter how removed the direct contact is - any semblance of asking actors directly about cockles is just. not. it.#so yes i do count texting about cockles to that number as similar to tagging the actors on twitter#if you don't then - we just disagree there i guess.#and it's a slippery slope from there#anyway my take is if you reblogged that this is not an attack on you#but for me it veered far too close to conspiratorial and breaking of the One Sacred Rule of rps#and. i gotta be honest. it didn't vibe with me at all and i felt a bit estranged from this community for a moment#one of the reasons i feel comfortable here in the first place is that people here don't veer into conspiracies#keep each other accountable with strict boundaries#and most of all keep a cool head and stay rational about how much we supposedly 'know' in relation to these people#once again: this is not an attack on people who reblogged that because it WAS meant to be well-meaning and i KNOW it was just#taken as classic misha trolling#but all those things considered it was still a shock to my system#and made me want to step back from all of this from a bit
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buckyseddie · 2 years
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good enough
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pairings — dean winchester x bff!fem!reader
summary — in which, she’s always been great at hiding her feelings from dean, but when she allows herself to get wasted and jealous, it all comes out.
word count — 4.0k.
warnings — angst, drunk/jealous!reader, there’s some minor problematic sl*t shaming from the reader, soft!dean, protective/possessive/jealous!dean, slight mention of dean’s anger issues, sam being the ship captain, fluff, use of pet-names [sweetheart, princess, baby].
notes — after seeing my best boy’s ending on the spn finale… let’s just say that my obsession and adoration for dean has gone up super high. anyways, enjoy this imagine about my best angel-hunter boy <3! gif and divider creds to owner!
p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.
main masterlist
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“YOU KNOW, YOU COULD JUST tell him the truth, right?” sam asks, raising an eyebrow at the [y/h/c] woman, who sighs sadly at the pie-loving hunter that leans into his newest and most recent hookup’s face, a flirty grin placed on his lips.
[y/n]’s brows furrow in a matter of seconds, snapping her head in the brunette man’s direction.
“w—what on earth are you talking about, sammy?” she questioningly asks, her voice raising up to an octave.
without even realizing it, she quickly becomes defensive to the point where even dean stops what he’s doing and looks over at the two friends in concern.
noticing this, [y/n] sighs, turning away from the feel of his burning gaze, now facing her friend instead.
“i—i’m sorry, sam. i didn’t mean to get so defensive. i just… where did that even come from?” she asks, trying to act like it isn’t bothering her at all.
but, it’s all too incredibly obvious that it is bothering her.
“i think we both know the answer to that, [y/n.]” sam states, sighing at the shocked look on the woman’s face.
“w—what?” she asks in a whisper, eyebrows knitting together as she tries to stay calm.
the feeling of dean’s glance is still completely burning into her body, making her sigh nervously, refusing to look in his direction.
“[y/n], i know about your feelings for him.” he says quietly, knowing that if dean heard this conversation, he’d never let either of them live it down.
her innocent [y/e/c] eyes widen at this, her breath hitching in her throat.
“i—is it really that obvious?” she asks in a whisper, heart racing at the thought of her best friend ever finding out about her true feelings for him — that’s a day she wishes never comes.
“i’m afraid so.” sam sighs, pausing as [y/n]’s entire body slumps in defeat.
“you know, coming clean about it might make things a lot easier for the two of you.” he states, shrugging as she looks up at him like he’s grown two heads.
“or, it could just make things a lot more fucking awkward and worse!” she exclaims quietly, raising her brows at him, as if challenging him to prove her wrong.
sam knows this look — that’s why he slumps in his chair and swirls his drink around in his glass, refusing to look back up at his friend.
sighing, she runs her fingers through her slightly-tangled hair.
“sorry. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. lately, it’s just like… every time he’s involved, i lose all my rationality and cool.” she mumbles, exhaling and trying to remain calm.
she hadn’t meant to snap at sam.
he’s too incredibly good of a man and totally like a big brother to her — someone that never judges her on her poorly-made decisions.
she hates when she snaps at him, especially when he’s just trying to help her out.
“it’s alright. i get it, i really do. but, i just hate seeing you torture yourself like this — pining after him.” sam says, sighing at the incredulous look that begins to form on her face.
“i’m not pining after him! what in the hell makes you say that?” she exclaims, this time not caring who hears the conversation.
sam sputters, confused on how to get himself out of this situation. no matter what he does, he seems to keep saying the wrong thing.
“if i were pining after him, would i go and make out with some random stranger?” [y/n] asks, voice straining, becoming anxious at the thought of doing something not only so out of character for her, but also, so rebellious.
“what are you talking about? did you do that?” sam asks, his innocent puppy dog brown eyes looking at her with confusion and shock.
“no… but, i’m about to.” [y/n] states, heaving in an anxious breath, standing up as she looks around the room for someone to be her victim of impulsiveness.
her eyes fly around the room — also ignoring dean’s gaze on her — until her eyes lock in on a gorgeous-looking brunette with ocean blue eyes.
he’s not as attractive as dean, but he’ll do, she thinks to herself anxiously.
“and… i’ve found him.” she mutters, turning back around to down her drink for good luck and as a push to do something a very much sober side of her would never do.
growing some newly-found confidence, she ignores the gaze of both winchester brothers and walks over to the brunette man, quickly catching his eye.
“uh, hi… can i h—help you?” he stutters, confusion filling his body as his brows furrow.
he looks her up and down, noticing how insanely gorgeous she is, as she steps in front of him.
taking in a deep breath, she smirks, nodding and doing her best to hide her anxiety.
“actually… yes, you can.” she states, raising her brows at him, before getting closer to him, lifting her hands up and gripping onto his flannel shirt’s collar.
before either of them can think of what’s happening, [y/n] smashes her lips onto his as the stranger lets out a strangled sound of shock, almost about to lose all of his air supply.
both dean and sam watch the exchange with different reactions.
sam watches with the same confusion he’d felt — only seconds ago — but he also feels a sense of pride towards his friend, for getting out of her comfort zone and doing something — anything — instead of moping around over his brother.
now, dean’s reaction is much more different, but nonetheless, very expected by his brother; his eyes widen as [y/n] shamelessly makes out with the stranger, before a dark look crosses his eyes, jaw clenching.
he’s no longer paying attention to his newest victim of a one-night stand, despite her continuously trying to get it.
his entire reaction would be described as jealousy, if [y/n] was paying attention.
but, she’s too busy trying to prove a point to sam.
why? maybe, because he’s right and she just doesn’t want to admit it.
just as the kiss gets a lot more steamier, dean starts to see red, no longer having any control over his actions.
just as dean starts to storm over to the two, preparing to rip [y/n] off of the poor guy, sam notices this and gets up to stop him.
“dean, stop. don’t do something that you’re going to regret later on.” he tells his brother quietly as dean grunts, glaring at him.
“why? he could take advantage of her! she’s completely fucking wasted.” he exclaims, watching irritatedly as the stranger starts to get more confident to the point of becoming a little handsy.
sam’s brows furrow together as he turns and glances back at them, just in time to see [y/n] slap the stranger’s hands away.
then, she pulls away from him, just as he leans in for more.
she smirks at this, before turning around to face the brothers.
“what, dean? are you the only one that’s allowed to have some fun around here?” [y/n] asks incredulously, words slurring, when he looks at her like she’s turned into an entirely different person.
his eyebrows furrow in more of a frustrated way, shaking his head at her, not wanting to pay any more attention to the woman he barely recognizes.
scoffing, she rolls her eyes.
“whatever. i’m going back to the hotel. have fun with your newest slut of the week.” she mutters, going to walk out of the bar, only to stumble into sam’s arms, suddenly going unconscious.
sam looks up at his brother, dumb-founded, almost silently asking him if he’s the one who’s gotta deal with the drunk-as-hell woman for the night.
sighing, dean motions for him to hand over the now barely functioning woman.
“i’ll take her back. just remember to drive baby safely back to the hotel, yeah?” dean states, digging through his jean pockets to find his keys, before handing them to his brother, giving him a stern look.
“i’m trusting you with my baby. don’t make me regret it.” he states all-too-seriously, not one joking notion in his voice.
sam nods, trying not to find amusement in how serious his brother is acting as he carefully hands over the [y/h/c] woman into dean’s arms.
“o—okay, dean. i promise.” he says, pausing, taking a glance at the now unconscious woman in his brother’s arms.
“just get her to sleep. she’s been having a rough few days. my mistake was thinking she could handle some drinks.” he mutters, nodding to [y/n], who seems to be drooling over one of dean’s wrists.
dean glances down at her, not seeming to be bothered by it at all.
but, sam on the other hand, has a disgusted look on his face now from the discovery.
dean nods, looking back up at his brother, before putting a hand on [y/n]’s back and his other arm going to move under her legs, lifting her up and into his chest, in the form of bridal style.
a tired sigh leaves her lips as she stirs and he carries her out of the bar and out into the cold air.
a shiver rushes through her body, waking her up instantly. “it’s so cold…” she mumbles, keeping her eyes closed.
“don’t worry, sweetheart, you’ll be in your bed soon enough.” he murmurs as she instinctively pushes her head into his chest further.
soon enough, dean’s making his way to the hotel room, pushing open the door and nudging it shut with his foot, before carrying the exhausted woman to her bed.
as soon as he moves the blanket covers off of her designated sleeping spot, dean gently places her shivering body down on her side, before grabbing the edge of the covers and placing them over her shoulders.
her shivering seems to slow down a bit as she tugs the covers closer to her face.
“thanks, deano… i—i’m sorry for being so stupid tonight.” she mutters, refusing to look him in the eye, feeling so guilty for acting like a child.
“don’t worry about it, princess. just rest, alright? we’ll talk tomorrow when we get back to the bunker.” he states, smiling softly at the peaceful look on her face.
after that, it doesn’t take long for her to pass out into a blissful, deep sleep.
—————
GUILT COMES WITH A LOT of more sensitivity, after making a bad decision.
in [y/n]’s case, there’s too much guilt clouding her mind.
sure, kissing a random stranger may seem totally normal to you.
but, to her, she not only kissed a random stranger; she got drunk off her ass and snapped at sam when he was just trying to help.
then, she kissed the one and only random stranger, just to spite dean, and acted like a total psycho towards him.
all of those things are things that she’d never do in a million years.
but, all that kept going through her head was, why didn’t he yell at her or ignore her?
in fact, he did the complete opposite.
instead, of being annoyed with her and ignoring her completely, he was a lot more nicer to her than usual.
at first, she’d thought that maybe it was just because she was hungover.
but, that couldn’t be the case — not when she started to feel much more sober a few hours later in the car.
[y/n] continued to stay confused.
and when she’d look over to sam in confusion, he’d shrug, trying to hide his smirk from knowing what she didn’t.
she’d furrowed her brows in confusion, still not understanding anything in this situation.
i mean, doesn’t dean seem like the type of man to lecture her or yell at her for acting so repulsively crazy?
well, in this case, i guess not.
because why else would he be in an all-smiley mood, if he isn’t angry or frustrated with her?
no matter how many times she asked herself this question, she came up with no sensible and logical answers.
and to add onto all of this confusion, she only becomes more confused when dean asks her to meet him in his room to ‘talk’, after she’d started towards her own room, to drop off her bag of things.
[y/n] turns to sam, hoping he’ll just fess up and tell her what the hell is going on and why dean is acting extra nice and happier to her.
but, to no avail, he turns around and walks into the kitchen, refusing to tell her anything.
groaning, [y/n] walks off into the hall and into the direction of her bedroom.
once she turns the knob and pushes the door open, she steps into the almost-empty bedroom and sets her bag down on her messy bed.
before walking out of the room, she sets her hands on her hips, heart racing at the thought of talking to dean all alone.
but, even though she’d rather lock herself up in her room all night, she wouldn’t be able to avoid him all night.
and even if she could, it’d be way too obvious to him that she’s hiding something.
and knowing dean, he’d never let it go, until he’d get an answer.
[y/n] takes in a deep breath and turns around as she anxiously begins to make her way to dean’s bedroom.
knocking her fist gently on the door, she holds her breath, anxiously worrying of what dean could possibly want to talk to her about.
“come on in.” the sound of dean’s gruff voice causes her throat to tighten up, heart setting off into an erratic pace.
with a trembling sigh, [y/n] encloses her hand around the door knob and twists it, before pushing it open.
dean’s figure is turned, his back facing her as she walks into the room.
deciding to distract herself from saying anything, she turns around and closes the door gently, hearing it click shut.
she wants to turn and face him, to get the conversation started and over with.
but, the anxiety and loud beating of her heart causes her to stay facing the door.
with what happened the previous night and the way sam kept sending her hidden smirks, [y/n] was beginning to think that dean had figured out that she’s in love with him.
and knowing sam, it wasn’t that far of a stretch that he’d have told his brother what she wasn’t willing to.
so, with a deep breath and a sigh, the woman musters up all the courage she needs to turn around, and does so.
“took you long enough.” dean mumbles, still not turning from his position in front of his bed.
“w—well, you can’t blame me for taking my time and being wary of what you wanna talk about. for all i know, you could be finally up to yelling at me for acting like a child last night.” [y/n] sassily states and crosses her arms onto her chest, after she grows some confidence.
things are usually easier, if you just act like you don’t care about anything and don’t give off any reactions — especially, when it comes talking to dean winchester.
but, once he turns around with raised eyebrows and arms crossed on his chest, her entire ‘i don’t care about anything’ attitude goes out the window.
“you wanna say that again, sweetheart?” he asks in a tone that clearly says not to test him.
her breath hitches in her throat, anxiety filling her completely.
he looks handsome as ever, as he always does — this was a normal reaction he’d get from her, every time he’d walk into a room.
and he’d usually think nothing of it, figuring that she was just stressed about something.
but now, with sam revealing the truth behind her actions last night, it only makes him smirk at her.
this makes her brows furrow in confusion.
“w—why are you lo—looking at me like that?” she asks in a confused and stuttering tone of voice, feeling nervous under his gaze.
he chuckles at this.
“princess, i just have a question for you — that’s all. you think you can answer honestly?” he asks gruffly as he moves to walk closer to her.
but, this just causes her [y/e/c] eyes to widen and gulp down the dryness in her throat.
god, she could just kill for a bottle of water right about now. damn dean winchester and his affect on her!
“i—um… wh—what kind of… question?” she stutters out in a croaky voice, backing up all the way, until she’s pressed against the door as he continues to walk towards her, not missing the nervous look in her eyes.
“now that you mention it…” he trails off casually, still smirking as he cocks his head to the side, not looking away from her.
he’s now just mere inches away from her, their chests almost touching.
[y/n]’s breath starts to come out in uneven pants, her heart beating so erratically fast against her chest, she could just faint.
dean could probably feel it, because of how close they are to each other.
she’d rather die, than be in this situation. anything was better than this confrontation.
because — deep down — she knows exactly what he wants to ask — there’s no denying that.
“did you act the way you did last night, because you were jealous that i was with another woman?” dean asks the question slowly — so slow that [y/n] begins to wonder if she’d even heard him correctly.
but, with the stern expression he wears, she knows that she heard perfectly.
“w—why?” she says in barely a broken whisper, looking away from his mesmerizing green eyes, knowing that the second she looks back into them, she’ll blurt out anything and everything.
“sweetheart…” dean trails off, noticing the embarrassed and nervous look on her face.
she clenches her eyes shut, trying to keep the now surfacing tears from escaping.
she’s usually stronger and tougher than this.
but, what can i say? dean winchester just naturally has that effect on her.
but, no matter how hard she tries, the tears still spill down to her now red cheeks.
she doesn’t bother to wipe them away, though, because she already knows that he’ll notice them, sooner or later.
he sighs.
“please, [y/n]. look at me.” he murmurs, waiting to give her the chance to look up herself.
but, she doesn’t.
she just adamantly shakes her head, refusing to do anything but to look down at her now fidgeting hands.
realizing of how stubborn she can get, he gently lifts up her chin with his thumb and forefinger.
dean’s eyes instantly soften as he notices the tears on her cheeks.
“princess… why didn’t you just tell me the truth?” he asks softly as he wipes away her tears.
“a—are you fucking kidding me, dean?” she exclaims, snapping out of her humiliated state as she walks past him roughly.
he sputters, now being the one in shock.
“w—what?” he stutters, becoming confused on how fast she went from nervous to pissed, in just seconds.
“why in the hell would i tell my best friend that i’m in love with him, when he could care fucking less? why would i go through all of that trouble, when he only sees me as a fucking sister?” she exclaims, turning towards him with an incredulous expression on her face, no longer even thinking about what she’s saying.
[y/n] sighs as she heaves in a few deep breaths, running a shaking finger through her [y/h/c] hair in a stressed manor.
dean’s mouth opens into an ‘o’ shape, not understanding the words coming out of his best friend’s mouth.
“y—you’re in love with me?” he stutters, his own eyes tearing up at the thought.
“w—what?” [y/n] stops instantly, realizing what she’d said.
dean shakes his head, to snap himself out of his shocked daze. “you said, and i quote, ‘why in the hell would i tell my best friend that i’m in love with him.’” he states, taking his time as he takes slow steps towards her, an unknown emotion flickering in his eyes.
she sputters, mouth agape as she collapses into a sitting position on his bed, staying silent. what the hell did she just do?
the heavy emotions in the room become even more suffocating as dean appears in front of his best friend, who refuses to look up at him.
“i can’t believe i told you. i can’t believe i even said anything, when i swore that i’d never speak a word of any of this…” [y/n] trails off, tears clouding her eyes in shock.
“and… why is that, sweetheart?” dean quietly asks, feeling his heart ache at the pain she’s in.
“because, you’re the best person i know. you’re kind and selfless and a genuinely good man. you’re also very attractive — which is obviously a given. but, you could have anyone else in the world. and there’s no way you’d ever feel the same for me. besides, i’m not what you need — i’m not good enough and you deserve better.” she states in a trembling tone as she dares to look up at him, the tears now streaming freely.
the air nearly gets knocked out of him as he realizes what she thinks — she thinks that she’s not worthy enough for him.
and most importantly, she thinks that he doesn’t reciprocate her feelings.
without another thought, he sighs and kneels down in front of her, gently wiping away the remaining tears on her red cheeks.
dean looks down at her now shaking fingers.
then, he grabs her hands, instantly calming the shaking movement they were just recently doing and brings them up to his lips, placing smooth and feathery kisses to her knuckles.
“sweetheart, i don’t know where you got the idea that i don’t feel the same. i mean, if you ask sammy, he’ll tell you about how i was incredibly pissed off when you were making out with that guy — i wanted to kill the bastard for touching you like that. i should’ve realized you were just upset i wasn’t giving you any attention, right?” he softly murmurs, sending her stomach into a frenzy of butterflies.
she sniffles. “y—you were jealous?” she asks in a small voice, much more calm now as he nods.
“of course, i was. i don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but you’re one of a kind, sweetheart. if anyone’s not good enough for the other, it’s me.” he states, raising his brows.
“no. don’t say that. dean, you deserve the absolute world and i don’t know if i can give that to you.” she mumbles, tears resurfacing to her lids.
“baby, stop talking like that. you’re perfect the way you are. all i want is you. and now, that i know you feel the same, i’m not letting this go.” he states as he pulls himself up, pulling her up with him.
“i know you won’t. that’s what you do when you find out new things.” she mutters, causing him to chuckle.
“oh, sweetheart. how right you are about that.” he states, biting his lip as a small smile surfaces to her own.
she sighs, giving him a pointed look.
but, he just smirks.
his hands wound to her cheeks, cupping them.
“you’re perfect for me, [y/n]. no matter what you say. we’re destined for each other. and i’ll be damned if i can’t prove it to you.” he murmurs and before she can say anything, he pulls her in for a kiss.
she lets out a strangled noise of surprise, eyes widened in shock.
but, once she realizes what’s happening, she moans and closes her eyes, quickly wrapping her arms around his neck as she presses herself as close to him as possible.
before they can both lose air, he reluctantly pulls away from her, pressing his forehead to hers.
“i could kiss you forever, if it were possible.” he murmurs and this causes her knees to go weak.
she would’ve fallen to her knees, if it weren’t for the fact that her arms are still wrapped around his neck.
her eyes flutter open, still in a bliss of happiness.
“and if i haven’t made it clear yet, i’m deeply in love with you too, [y/n] [y/l/n].” he mumbles, before connecting their lips once more.
although, before they can continue, there’s loud victorious cheering right outside of the room, sounding exactly like sam.
the newly official couple pull away from each other, before they let out a bunch of laughs at dean’s match-making brother that got them together.
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phoenixyfriend · 3 years
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OKAY so on the topic of Star Wars takes wrt “character ends up in an A/B/O universe where they’re an omega, but they were previously a cis male in their canon”
@atagotiak and I had some Thoughts on discord
So, obviously, Anakin would make a good omega and he’s also incredibly murdery. Foregone conclusion that we're using him for this.
There is no preexisting Anakin in the Omegaverse. He shows up JUST as the war is starting. Canon timeline is in the third year of the war (he’s 22), but whatever dumped him into omegaverse also tossed him back a few years. No de-aging, just a bit of mismatched timeline stuff.
He's... really good at war, and clearly a Jedi, so the Temple just kind of goes "WELL OKAY THEN, SURE, YOU'RE IN, EVERYONE PRETEND HE'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME." The Jedi, by and large, don't care about omegaverse dynamics beyond 'what do you need, medically, to be happy and healthy' and 'what do you need to be aware of so you can be prepared for biases you encounter in the field?’
None of the civilian natborns (mainly politicians) want to put him on the field because of those biases. Anakin, being Anakin, is VERY blatantly an omega in scent, has never been on suppressants (because it wasn't a thing he fucking NEEDED), is incredibly emotional as a person, loves kids, etc.
Like, nobody wants an omega fighting a war anyway, but THIS one is like PINNACLE omega, and those awful Jedi are making him FIGHT just because he's good at stab!
The Jedi: Actually, it's because he's got several years of war experience that we don't, and he's a good tactician that works well with the clones-- Coruscant: You MONSTERS The Jedi: Look, we gave him the option to not stab and he looked absolutely devastated. Anakin, several days earlier: You don’t want me? I’m not good enough??? Jedi: Also he can beat up at least half the temple.
He doesn't know a damn thing about dynamics, but he DOES know that sometimes he's so horny he wants to stab HARDER. The clones are largely disinterested in their generals' dynamics because between mostly-Mando* trainers and no-dynamic Kaminoans, they only really care if a person can shoot.
* Mandalore approves of Fighty Omegas. As far as (traditional) Mandalore is concerned, you want an omega that will kill the threats to your children as well as you do.
Anakin: You know more about being an omega than I do. Rex: ...I'm an alpha. Anakin: Yeah. Let that one sink in a bit.
We have two options for Obi-Wan!
Omegaverse local Obi-Wan (beta) has never met this man before, and is very unnerved that the immediate default reaction Anakin has to his presence is releasing Family pheromones as if Obi-Wan is his DAD and like. This strange, too-tall man from another dimension has got absolutely NO control over what he projects in the Force OR in his dynamic.
Obi-Wan was ALSO transplanted from canon to omegaverse, and is also an omega, for contrast reasons. He is nice and friendly and and likes poetry and that sort of thing... but also he has the highest dismemberment count in the movies. Also he doesn’t prioritize romance.
We went with the second one because it's hilarious.
Someone watching them spar: Wow, omegas from that universe are terrifying.
As previously mentioned, now with some tweaking to account for both: Obi-Wan and Anakin just straight up don't exist until they drop headfirst into the council room, already covered in blood. (It's mostly not theirs.)
Nobody realizes either one is an omega until they "naturalize" to this dimension and Anakin goes into heat... and doesn't realize it, actually, because his primary symptom is heightened protectiveness and aggression. Everyone else with the right nose realizes, because the man has no control over his pheromone production, but Anakin? No. He just stabs. He’s angry and horny and he will cut someone.
Ahsoka has no reaction to human pheromones but basically everyone smells Anakin's "my child!" reaction to her, so... Cool. Have a padawan, we guess.
Anakin ends up sparring a lot with Aayla and Ahsoka, because only humans and near humans have dynamics, so these two don't REACT to the pheromones situation.
(Palpatine is a Kindly Old Beta who tries to treat Anakin the way he EXPECTS Anakin wants to be treated, which is. Not. Accurate.)
(Anakin hates it.)
I'm just so in love with "An omega can't fight." "You wanna fuckin' bet?"
There are plenty of omega Jedi, by the way, it's just... most of them can keep it relatively low-key instead of Anakin's jet-engine broadcast. Some, if they're known to be omega, probably take advantage of being underestimated, like Obi-Wan probably (and especially a version of Obi-Wan that was always an omega, unlike this version). They have a very different way of presenting themselves than Anakin, who's not subtle about being an omega and also not subtle about being all aggressive and stabby.
At one point, Anakin has to protect some Very Traditional Individuals who get all "Stay back, Omega, it's not safe!" and he's just... so tired of this shit. “You are squishy civilians and I'm a trained Jedi Knight and accomplished GAR General who's killed more people in one sitting than there are in this entire palace. Sit the fuck down and let me do my job.”
It starts making the rounds that Anakin insisted on fighting in person, and the rumors shift from "how dare the Jedi force an omega to fight" and over into things that are deeply hurtful in-universe in the vein of "broken omega" and some people try to say it to his face but like...
He didn't grow up here.
He doesn't care.
Say that to one of his friends and he's going to rip out your spleen, probably, but say it to him and he's just staring at you flatly and asking if that's a negative on getting away from the encroaching battle droids, sir?
"You're rather unpleasant for an omega, aren't you?" [deeply offensive] "I literally could not give less of a fuck about your opinion. Move."
It's not that there aren't omegas that act like Anakin, either, it's just that most of them aren't, you know, Jedi who regularly interact with the upper crust, or capable of his level of destruction. Unbeknownst to Anakin, everyone clocks him as Outer Rim based on his behavior, well before his accent gives him away, and certainly before he mentions he's from Tatooine, because Core Omegas Don't Act Like That.
Someone they meet in a more diplomatic setting says something decently passive-aggressive about how at least Obi-Wan acts more like how an Omega should. Then a battle breaks out for some reason, and... well. Anakin and Obi-Wan cause such a scandal by keeping score of kills in a battle, don’t you know?
Turns out sending Anakin to fight Ventress is great because she keeps expecting him to react a certain way but NO he's here to STAB.
I like the idea that Obi-Wan's favorite opponent these days is Grievous because the cyborg doesn't have a nose, and thus gives zero fucks about dynamics or heats. Dooku is a rich old man who has opinions heavily influenced by Sith Juice Making Him More of a Dick, and the Dathomiri can smell dynamics even if they don't have them, and so they have biases about those things. Meanwhile, Grievous is just there to Kill, and Obi-Wan genuinely appreciates the lack of commentary on his dynamic.
Dooku’s probably an alpha, or a beta who's used the whole "we are more level-headed" thing as one of several angles to keep himself the public face and supreme commander of the CIS.
On to more fluffy things that have less to do with political biases.
There's a lot of "I'm upset that my loved ones don't know me," but also please understand the appeal of Obi-Wan marching up to Quinlan like "Yes, hello, I understand you've been read in on the full situation behind myself and my former padawan. I was close friends with your alternate universe self, which I feel is necessary disclosure before I propose the following: Would you like to join me for my upcoming heat, as I have minimal experience with the dynamics situation and even fewer people I actually trust, and I believe I can put my faith in you to treat it as casually as necessary while still having control and respect for my person."
(The Team is in a fairly safe place to process stuff, but having sudden unexpected changes to your biology has gotta be a little traumatizing, on top of ending up in a universe where none of your friends know you and people have a whole host of unfamiliar forms of sexism to point at you.)
Obi-Wan, who wasn't quite touch-averse but was much more easily overwhelmed by physical contact than Anakin (who craved it), suddenly finds his body switching gears and insisting on cuddles with Trusted Loved Ones, which is.... mostly Anakin, on account of nobody else really knowing him yet. Also Ahsoka, who is aware that she's something of a replacement for her alt-universe self, but Anakin explained it as "I love you so much no matter which dimension I'm in or what you're like, and I'd like to get to know you the way I got know her."
(It's rather eloquent for Anakin. He got Obi-Wan to help him draft up the script for when he pitched taking on omegaverse Ahsoka as a padawan.)
Anakin gets a more intensely sexual heat than 'usual' at one point for Reasons (IDK it could be as innocuous as 'we got better food than the usual rations and my body is reacting to the higher fat content with the belief that it's safer to have a baby now'), which nobody takes a whole lot of notice of because they're in a WAR, and also this is only his fourth one so it's not like he's got a lot to compare it to... except then the predominantly alpha clones can't stop themselves from reacting to the pheromones, mostly by wandering past his door and asking if he needs anything, offering up alpha-scented blankets and stuff for the nest to soothe the hormones, bringing snacks and electrolyte drinks, and like, Anakin is flattered, really, but fuck off please.
(He got a warning from medical a few hours before it hit that it would be different, so he actually does have alpha-scented fabrics to help him out. Apparently that's a thing you can just ask friends for, so he asked Rex if he had anything on hand that he could spare. He now has one of Rex’s recently-used sheets and a bodyglove in the nest.)
(Anakin has no idea how to feel about the nesting instinct, but at least it’s warm.)
Tia asked "Oh hey, who has the scared and horny reaction to his carnage?" and like.
Listen. I'm not saying I've been low-key imagining this as Rex being a very subby alpha who's really into Anakin's whole Thing but...
At one point Anakin gets injured in a way that requires painkillers and he ends up whining to the point of almost crying about the fact that nobody is cuddling him right now in medbay and Kix just gives up and comms Ahsoka to come hug her weird older brother.
And Then There Is Purring.
That’s a Thing Now.
Rex ends up in the pile somehow. He came over to check on Things and ended up yanked in by half-asleep, half-high Anakin, who has a grip like an octopus and no impulse control and is purring like a pod motor while NUZZLING HIM.
There’s a lot of blackmail photos featuring Rex’s very intense blush as he’s cuddled by his commander (giggling at him) and general (clinging like a tooka and rubbing himself all over).
Anakin is deeply offended that ANYONE thinks he'd want to get pregnant by just any old person, NO he needs to fall in LOVE there needs to be EMOTIONAL DRAMA and if Padme won't have him (apparently she's in a relationship and no he's not BITTER) then he'll find someone else to have a whirlwind romance with!
People think Anakin's a slut because he can't control his pheromone production (he has NO practice and for health reasons he can't go on suppressants) so he always smells open and ready for flirtations, which Obi-Wan also has to a somewhat lesser degree (he's older so his body just naturally produces less), and then someone tries to cross a boundary and grabs his ass and ANYWAY Anakin has to now fill out an incident report for breaking a civilian's arm.
Again.
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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SAFE AND SOUND
a/n: this one took a little longer to write, but im so happy its finally finished! its not what i originally planned, i started a whole different plot but hated it so started again, but i might go back to the first story, so maybe more bodyguard!harry content is gonna come! anyway, hope you’ll enjoy this one!
pairing: Bodyguard!Harry X Reader
warning: use of weapon (no one dies), mentioning of cancer (no one is sick), sexual content
word count: 9.1k
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“This is not up for discussion, Y/N. What you are doing and what you are about to achieve soon might upset a lot of people that hold great power. We can’t just assume you’ll be fine, walking around like anyone else in the world.”
Your boss, Julian explains it to you, leaning onto his desk, trying his best to keep his cool about your protest to get you a guard to watch out for you and keep you safe. It’s been an ongoing struggle and fight you two have been having these past weeks and it became a burning situation since you’ve made some major progress in your project.
“I’m not some kind of royalty to have security with me all the time,” you grumble rolling your eyes.
“Not just royalties have guards, Y/N. Just accept it, that you’re valuable, your work is very important not just to our company but to the whole world. Do you not realize how big it is? You are close to having the cure to cancer, Y/N! You can easily get a Nobel-prize for that!”
“I know that it’s important, but no one knows me, no one will see me on the street and know who I am or what I do!”
“It’s not about the people on the street. The world is a dark place, darker than you could imagine. Please, just… I want to know that you’re safe.”
Staring back at him with your arms folded on your chest you contemplate his words. You can see the rationality in his words, it’s just that you don’t want to break your routine, you don’t want people around you all the time, you don’t want to end your privacy like that. But Julian is right, your work is important and there have already been a few attempts to steal your researches, but they miserably failed. However that doesn’t mean they will be stopped the next time as well.
“One guard,” you speak up. “Just one. I’m not gonna have a whole fucking team,” you tell him raising your eyebrows. He lets out a relieved sigh, a tiny smile tugging on his lips.
“I was hoping you’d say that.” Reaching out to the phone he presses the buzzer that signals to his assistant, Monica outside and a few moments later she walks in, accompanied with a tall, suited man, his green eyes immediately falling to you upon entering the room.
“Y/N, I took the courage to pick him out for you myself. This is Harry Styles, the best you can find in the city if not in the country,” Julian introduces him as he pushes himself away from his giant mahogany desk, walking closer to the man as they shake hands firmly. You stand up from the armchair you’ve been sinking into these past ten minutes and unsurely hold out your hand to the man.
“Harry Styles, pleasure to meet you,” he introduces himself, a thick British accent lacing through his voice and the way his green irises stare back at you, you can feel your heart fluttering in your chest. Mr. Styles is undeniably the most charming and handsome man you’ve ever met, with his perfectly carved cheekbones and chiseled jawline, pink lips and those enchanting green eyes framed by his thick lashes. There’s something in his appearance, something feminine, but still, he holds so much masculinity at the same time, it’s hard not to be enamored by him.
“Y/N Y/L/N,” you mumble your name, shaking his hand slightly before letting go of it.
“Details about your cooperation have already been discussed with the security agency and us, but of course, your word is what counts, so we’ll walk over the whole plan with you as well,” Julian explains to you and you nod shortly.
The three of you move to the conference room and the next hour goes by with working those so called details out, some of them are ridiculous, some of them you can get used to, at the end you are left with a somewhat bearable plan, but one thing is for sure. Harry Styles will be a big part of your life from now on.
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THREE MONTHS LATER
The tiny pack of sugar tears open in your hands, but you put too much effort into it so the countertop is now covered with the content of the pack instead of ending up in your paper cup.
“Fuck,” you growl, dumping the empty pack into the trash before grabbing another one, hoping it won’t end up the same way.
“Let me help you,” a smooth, male voice speaks up next to you and Harry grabs the pack from your hands as he places his own coffee to the counter. You let him tear the pack open easily, pouring the sugar into your drink without problem before he puts the lid back to your cup.
“Thank you,” you mumble, closing your tired eyes for a split second. You’ve been overworking way too much these past weeks, it’s starting to shut your system down, but you don’t want to rest, not when you’re so close to finishing your project.
The past two weeks have been major, you finally made the progress you’ve been working towards for months now, letting you step into the last phase of your work finally. But it’s been a quite stressful time as you’ve been eager to finish as soon as possible, but that meant little to no time spent outside of your lab.
Harry shoots you a reassuring smile before you both grab your drinks and head out of the café in the direction of your workplace.
The past three months were one hell of a ride when it comes to Harry. You didn’t hide your dislike towards his continuous presence in your life, standing by your side wherever you went. It frustrated you, made you feel like you didn’t have your freedom any longer even though he never did anything to make you hate him. He was considerate, respectful and only wanted to do his job, yet you still gave him a hard time at the beginning, right until the need for his work was proved.
Two months ago someone broke into your apartment while you were out, they searched through the whole place, looking for something. Well, not just something, they were clearly interested in anything connected to your research, but luckily, you’re not dumb enough to just let these stuff lay around your home.
Even though you didn’t encounter the person responsible for it, the incident still shook your up. Knowing that someone could get into your personal space so easily, that they could have come at a time when you were home and vulnerable, it scared you. Harry was the person that eased the worry and fear in you, he took care of everything in an instant and upon his best advice, you moved to a new apartment with a higher security level. He even moved to the place next to yours so he could be as close to you as possible at all times. There was a much needed shift in your relationship after that and you didn’t see him as an intruder any longer in your life, but more as a hero.
“So would you like Italian or Mexican tonight for dinner?” Harry asks as the two of you enter the building, using your IDs you go through the massive security gates, the guards in post nodding in your way.
“Isn’t it your night to choose?” you smile at him sideways as you wait for the elevator.
“Okay, then Thai,” he smirks, making you laugh. “Hope you are not planning on eating it here again,” he gives you a warning look and you purse your lips.
“I have a lot to do, and—“
“Y/N, you need to rest sometimes,” he scolds you as if you were just a child.
“I do rest. Sometimes,” you answer with an innocent look as the elevator’s door slides open and you walk in with Harry following you right behind.
“Like once a week? Do you even sleep when you’re at home?”
“I do! Don’t make me look like I’m some kind of crazy workaholic!”
“I’m just worried about you, is all,” he sighs, giving you a hard look.
“Oh, Mr. Styles. If I didn’t know you better I would think you might have a soft spot for me,” you smirk at him teasingly before the elevator arrives to your floor and you walk out without a word. Harry just stares after you with a small smile tugging on his lips as he thinks about your words. It’s funny, especially because you both know something more than just a professional relationship has been going on between the two of you, only dancing around it as the situation is a little too complicated to address now.
It’s not like any rules are tying you down, but you would rather not mix up work with your private life. You might have feelings for Harry, but you refuse to act up on them until he is out of his duty as your personal guard.
Your days are usually the same. While you lock yourself up in your lab, working with no end, Harry stay either with you in there or he hovers around the door, keeping an eye on everyone and everything. Just the thought of his presence never fails to bring you a sense of comfort, knowing that you don’t have to worry about your safety until he is near. It might seem nerdy, but you can easily get lost in your work. It doesn’t feel like a job, growing up with parents who were excellent doctors and pharmacists themselves, you were doomed to be a science enthusiast yourself from the beginning. Learning has never been a task for you but a gift, as you liked to look at it.
Working overtime happens often because you lose touch with time easily once you get down to work. Nothing exists outside of your lab and you hardly realize how late it is until Harry usually warns you.
“I didn’t joke when I said I didn’t want to have dinner in here,” he steps into your sanctuary while you’re in the middle of running tests for the millionth time today. Pushing your glasses up to the top of your head while the machines are buzzing and whirling, you look up at him with a tired smile.
“Let me just… finish this one last test and then I promise we’ll head out.”
“Alright, but I’m watching you. No more tests,” he warns, sitting on one of the stools while you finish what you started.
Harry never really asked you about your work, for a while you weren’t even sure if he knows what you’re doing and why it’s so important. It was never discussed at the beginning and he never brought it up later either. But judging from the time he spends near you at the lab he must have picked up a few things about it surely.
The machines stop working and the tiny beeping sound signals that the results are out. You grab the long printed paper and start scanning the data, chewing on your bottom lip as you hope to find what you’ve been looking for all day. The numbers are coming in great, but it’s been like this for a while, it’s the end that never matches up with your expectations. So when you get there and see the graphs showing the result that you’ve been dreaming of since the start of the whole project years ago, your mouth falls open in disbelief even though it’s what you’ve been working for all this time.
“Oh my God,” you whisper.
“What?” Harry’s head snaps up in alert, jumping off the stool.
“I… I did it,” you breathe out, glancing up from the paper. “It’s my first time succeeding, Harry!” you start laughing, the shock taking over your whole body that you really did it this time.
“And what does that mean?”
“Come on, let me show you,” you tell him in excitement, pulling him over to the computer where you pull up all the data you’ve been working on. A virtual version of a cell comes up on the screen as you start typing, modelling what you want to show him. “This is a completely healthy cell, it’s what you are made of too, mostly,” you ass with a chuckle before another cell comes up on the screen. “And this is what cells that are affected by cancer look like.”
The difference is a lot more complicated than what you can explain to him in such a short time, but he can see it with his own eyes. The color, the shape, everything is different from the first one. Harry examines the screen and nods shortly, letting you know that he is following.
“I’ve been working on a substance that is able to not just detect the cancerous cells but it can also kill it effectively without hurting the healthy ones.”
You bring up the virtualized version of the substance you’ve been working on, a short animation showing how it can tell the two cells apart and only attack the cancerous one.
“I haven’t been able to get the numbers above 60% when it comes to succeeding in the process of selection so my whole project was about finding a solution to that. I’ve been trying to find the right substance to mix with our already existing one to solve the problem, but I haven’t been successful in it.”
“I assume until now,” Harry hum and you nod smirking.
“Yeah. The last test results came back very good, quite promising. It’s still not the end of the process, but it’s a huge step.”
“That’s great,” he smiles at you and though you know he probably understands just a fracture of the whole process, he can still figure out how important it is. “Congrats, Y/N.” “Thanks,” you breathe out, pride filling your chest as you shut the computer off. “I guess this is my cue to end the day,” you smile at him before packing up everything, getting ready to finally leave.
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It’s not the first time Harry is spending the evening at your place. You often have dinner together, or watch a movie whenever you get home early enough to do that. Through the time you’ve spent together because of his job you’ve grown to be friends above everything. Good ones, in fact, which is a big deal for you since making friends has never been an easy task for you.
You bought takeout on the way home and as Harry set the table you poured yourself a glass of wine, knowing well Harry would never drink when he is on duty and he is basically working all the time he is with you, so you’re drinking alone. You both sit to the dining table, starting dinner together in a comfortable silence. It’s another thing you appreciate about Harry. He doesn’t try to talk when it’s not necessary, you hate small talk, you’d rather sit in silence than talk about something nonsense and Harry is a partner in that.
“When do you need to leave work tomorrow to get to the party on time?” he asks breaking the silence and you freeze. His eyes fall on you, examining your features for a moment before he smirks. “You forgot about it?”
“I just… thought it’s going to be next week,” you truthfully admit.
“We talked about it last week,” he smirks at you playfully. “And I told you it would be next week which is… this week.”
“I know how the days work, Harry,” you give him a look of ‘give me a break’ before you turn back to your food. “I just…”
“You just forgot it,” Harry finishes for you, and you just roll your eyes at him.
Glancing at him over the table you wonder if he’ll wear something different than is usual attire he always wears. Black suit with a white shirt underneath, the top two buttons left undone, giving you a tiny peek at the tattoos on his chest. You know those are not the only ones, you’ve seen him with the suit jacket off before, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, his whole left arm is covered in ink and you wish you’ve had the chance to take a better look at them.
Harry is such an intriguing person in a lot of different ways. He definitely likes to keep things to himself, not one to ask for attention and it’s not just because of his work, it’s his personality. However he is good with people, interacting with them, being social. A skill you haven’t really mastered yourself yet and you probably never will. He always seems to know what to say, you’ve never seen him even the slightest bit anxious or nervous before, the confidence he holds is unmatched and it makes it hard to not think about him in ways you shouldn’t be.
After dinner he helps you clean up, just like he always does before heading out, but before he could leave he stops and turns back to face you.
“Oh, a friend of mine is visiting from the UK on Sunday. I already mentioned it to you before, but I was hoping I could get the afternoon off,” he wonders and you nod right away.
“Of course! I’ll be just fine at home,” you smile at him.
“Thank you,” he smiles back before walking out of your place at last.
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Because of the party in the evening you are forced to stop working early the next day. It’s weird to leave the office in broad daylight, but you know today can’t be one of those days when you end up seeing the new day in the lab.
Harry was right yesterday, you completely forgot the whole party thing, meaning you didn’t plan anything ahead and you had nothing to wear, so through the day you called your sister, Mara to help you out. She was more than happy to lend you anything you needed. She meets you at the office, beaming to spend some time with you finally. It’s not that you don’t like her company, but you are quite different, is all. Your sister didn’t get sucked into the world of science, though she definitely has the bright mind to take up on any field she would want to explore. But she was more into the world of art, having written her first fantasy novel at the ripe age of twenty, she is now a bestseller author at only twenty-nine with a bubbly personality and basically every trait you never owned yourself.
“Harry! So nice to see you again!” Mara beams at the man as the three of you meet up at the lobby.
“Hi, Mara,” Harry smiles with a tiny nod.
“Alright, I have everything you could need so let’s head to yours!” your sister cheers before you make your way out to your cars.
Arriving to your home Harry splits from the two of you, letting you to get ready in peace and also to get ready himself. Mara didn’t joke when she said she has everything you need, the trunk of her car is basically filled with clothes and shoes, there’s no chance you won’t find something to wear tonight.
She orders you to take a quick shower as she unpacks everything she brought and when you emit from a cloud of steam with a towel wrapped around your body and one on your head, Mara gets down to work.
“So do you have a date for today?” she curiously asks while she does your makeup.
“Huh, yeah, sure,” you huff ironically. “It’s just gonna be Harry and me.”
“So Harry is your date?” her ears perk up, but you’re quick to protest.
“Of course not! He comes with me everywhere,” you mumble with your eyes closed as she is doing something on your eyelids.
“But it could be a date,” she offers and you huff in disagreement.
“You know that’s not how it works, Mara.”
“You are making it more complicated than it is! No one would blame you if you just… went for it! Harry is obviously an attractive guy.”
“Then maybe you should date him,” you bite back bitterly. Growing up you weren’t the boys’ favorite, they always paid all the attention to your sister. It’s not that you blame her or them, she always had a more capturing and lively personality that attracted people naturally. But it made you wonder if there was something wrong with you, spending all your time with your nose buried in a book or doing researches for fun while Mara was out with her friends, living her best life. Even her published books were inspired by her personal life experiences.
“Y/N,” she sighs, her hands leaving your face so you open your eyes to look at her disapproving expression. “You obviously like him so I would never do that and besides that, he for sure likes you too.”
“What’s not true,” you deny right away, but then you look at her curiously. “But why would you think that?”
Mara smirks at you tilting her head to the side, seeing right through your act that you’re not interested in Harry. Of course you are, but you choose to keep it at bay for the sake of his job.
“Y/N, I see how that man watches every move you make. It’s written all over his handsome face.”
“Of course he watches my every move, that’s his job!”
“No, it’s different. You’ll see it sooner or later,” she smiles before ordering you to close your eyes again so she can finish your makeup.
Mara does wonders to your looks, the makeup look she does on you already makes a huge difference since you don’t bother to do anything on your every days. But she didn’t stop there, she made your hair look like you just stepped off of the pages of a magazine and the dress the two of you chose was the cherry on the top. The emerald green dress was tight around your curves, showing just enough of your body to be still considered modest, but also have some spice. And though there are a lot of advantages of the dress, your first and most important thought (to you at least) was how well it goes with the color of Harry’s eyes.
“I’m a genius,” Mara sighs satisfied with her work as you slip on the pair of nude heels and put your necessities into the little clutch you’re taking with you. Just when you’re gone with everything, the doorbell rings and your heart jumps in your chest, knowing that Harry is standing on the other side of the door.
“I’ll get it for you,” Mara smiles rushing to the door as you walk into the hallway, standing a few feet behind her so as she opens the front door and Harry comes into view, over Mara’s shoulder his eyes easily find your figure standing there, feeling a little awkward and self-conscious, like you are about to go to prom with your crush. Difference is that you are not a teenager anymore and you aren’t going anywhere together together. Tonight is just work for him.
But as his bright green eyes fall on your frame and you see his lips slightly part, you can’t help but allow yourself to think for a moment that it’s more than just work. That he feels the same way about it as you do. Though you don’t voice your hopes and just smile at him faintly, hoping you don’t look completely ridiculous in your outfit.
“Harry, come on in!” Mara invites him into the apartment and he walks in, wearing his usual black suit with the difference of having a tie on around his neck, his white shirt is appearing neat and crispy and his sometimes unruly curls are now gently combed back a little so his curls are not falling into his forehead.
“Hi,” you smile at him nervously fumbling with your clutch as he takes a few steps closer to you.
“Hi. You look… beautiful,” he smiles back at you a little breathlessly as he takes a respectful look down your body before his green irises meet your gaze again.
“Thank you. You look great too,” you chuckle softly. “Should we… head out?”
“Yeah, sure!” he nods, offering you his arm and you link your arm with his instantly, hoping you won’t trip in your heels. “Lock the door when you leave, Mara, alright?” you call out to your sister who is watching you smiling.
“Sure! Have fun!”
You wave at her one last time before walking out and shutting the door closed behind you.
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This party is held every year at Pharma-Z, mostly this is the time when the brain meets the money. Investors and funders like to meet the people behind the million dollars researches from time to time and this is the occasion where both sides show up. Julian always asks you to be social and try to mingle, but the whole thing feels forced and painful for you. You’d rather just be left alone with your researches and projects without having to schmooze to the people who give you the money for your hard work.
It’s held at one of said investors’ luxurious penthouse, that doesn’t even look like someone’s home with the huge outdoors infinity pool, the spacious and modern interiors and the expensive looking decoration that was put up just for the occasion.
“Y/N! I’m so happy you are here!” Julian approaches you with a drink in his hands and you’re happy to see a familiar face in the crowd. You don’t really know others from work, only your little team you directly work with and of course, your boss, Julian.
“It’s not like I had a choice,” you chuckle giving him a short, friendly hug. Julian is far from a nightmare of a boss some people have to face at their job. He is an actually nice and very smart and intellectual person. The pharmaceutical industry can be harsh and dark, the competition between the businesses is way more intent than people think. This is why you need the protection. Some companies profit off of the fact that cancer has no cure yet. They make money from all the treatments that doesn’t even guarantee full recovery. A lot of big fish don’t want the cure, because that would make them lose a good chunk of their income and some of those would even go to the depth of hurting you for being so close to ruining their business with your invention. Pharma-Z is luckily a genuine company that wants to help sick people and that’s why you’re working there.
“You know how important it is for the company,” Julian sighs, but he understands how uncomfortable these events make you feel, though he can do nothing to help you. “Harry, nice to see you again,” he smiles at the man by your side.
“Julian, nice to see you too,” he nods, shaking hands with your boss.
“Mingle a little so people can see and meet you, alright?” Julian requests and you just nod silently before he moves on to the next group of people.
You get yourself a drink to ease your nerves a little as people start approaching you. Some of them you’ve met last year, but there are a lot of new faces. Your project has brought in quite a few new sponsors and investors and now they want to meet you and talk about the research their money is going into.
You try your best to keep a smile plastered across your face as you tell the people the same thing over and over again, receiving praise and compliments on your work before moving onto the next conversation just to start over again.
You can feel your social batteries running out, not sure you can put up with another conversation with a wealthy investor who wants you to know you have a job because they gave money for your project in hopes of you bringing more money to them.
Harry has stayed by your side the whole evening, and you didn’t notice but he kept examining you every few minutes to make sure you were holding up and he noticed how tired you’ve grown from socializing for so long.
“Y/N,” he softly calls out, his palm finding the small of your back. “Why don’t we get some fresh air?” he kindly offers and you immediately understand that he is trying to get you away from the guests and the overwhelming conversations you’ve been dealing with. Nodding you let him usher you outside, finding a spot where the two of you can be a little alone.
“I fucking… hate small talks and being nice to everyone,” you let out a long and heavy sigh, as you lean against the railing, paying just one short glance at the city’s bright lights under your feet. Harry chuckles shortly.
“I figured. You’ve been chewing your lips so hard I was afraid you’d start bleeding.”
Now that he has brought your attention to it, you realize you are doing it again, so you let go of your bottom lip from between your teeth and it brings out another chuckle from Harry.
“I’m just… not good with these… social stuff.”
“I disagree with that,” he hums, furrowing his eyebrows.
“Oh please, if you haven’t realized it, my number of zero friends is a tell, I think.”
“Come on, it’s not zero. You’re friends with Mara.”
“But family doesn’t count, she is kind of forced to be my friend,” you shrug, making him laugh.
“Okay, but I’m your friend too, aren’t I?” You furrow your eyebrows at him.
“You spend time with me because it’s your job.”
His eyes soften on you as he leans against the railing next to you, looking so effortlessly handsome and charming, you almost need to take a deep breath at the sight of him. And the cheeky smile on his pink lips is definitely not helping your case.
“I know you didn’t mean that. You’re a smart woman, Y/N.” Reaching out he tugs a loose strand of hair behind your ear as he inches closer a tiny bit. “I think we stepped over the line of just work.”
“So… you consider me your friend?” you ask shyly.
“If you have to ask maybe I’ve been doing something wrong,” he chuckles softly, making you smile too. Folding your arms a shiver runs down your spine from the cold evening breeze. “Are you cold?” Harry asks, but before you could even say a word, he shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over your shoulders.
“Oh, thank you,” you breathe out shyly.
“Do you want another drink?”
“Yeah, I think I might need another one,” you chuckle and nodding he tells you to just stay there until he gets you a new one.
Turning towards the view, you enjoy the lonely moments for a little, not too keen on going back inside and keep up the façade of interest any longer. You’d rather just head home, maybe have another drink with Harry on your couch while you watch a rerun of whatever show is on TV and then fall asleep after a hot shower. You’ve been working way too much lately and it’s just now crashing down on you. Next week you definitely should cut back on your hours at the lab, the project is already going amazing, it won’t hurt if you actually had some rest before you lose your mind.
You hear footsteps approaching you and you think it’s Harry returning, but as you turn around you are faced with a stranger, a man who is staring down at you with bloodshot eyes and… a gun pointed at you.
Your breath hitches, your blood freezing in your veins at the sight and your legs almost give up underneath you.
“What… who are you?” Your voice comes out as a whisper, tears already flooding your eyes as you melt against the railing as if you had anywhere to go, but you have no chance against him.
One glance at the gun allows you to see that it has a silencer on, with the music coming from inside and no one around, if he shoots you, he’ll be able to get away before anyone realizes what happened.
The man doesn’t answer, just holds up the gun, aiming right at your chest and you close your eyes, thinking that this is it. This is how your life ends, in the middle of a posh party with no one around to help you. Your lips are trembling and hands are shaking as you hold onto the railing, waiting for the inevitable to come, keeping your eyes shut, not wanting to see your killer as the last thing you see before you go.
And then you hear the muffled gunshot, making you scream in fear, your knees turning into jelly, but the pain never comes. Instead, you hear grunting and growling as a body falls to the ground in front of you.
Your eyes snap open and you see Harry straddling the man, the gun lying near your attacker’s hand and he is trying to reach it, but before he could, you kick it away as Harry throws a punch at his face that stops him from trying too hard to free himself.
The next few moments are so busy and blurry at the same time. Your legs give up underneath you, making you fall to the ground, your whole body shaking in waves. In the meantime Harry gets the man into a position where he can be easily controlled and people start flooding out at the scene, helping Harry while security working at the party take the man, the police already on its way.
When Harry can finally step back from the attacker, his eyes fall on your figure and he rushes over to you, kneeling down next to your trembling body, cradling you into his arms upon seeing how shaken up you are.
“Hey, it’s alright. It’s over, you’re alright,” he murmurs, holding you tight as your fists grab onto his shirt, your breathing is uneven, the oxygen barely makes its way into your lungs as you’re panting and gasping from the shock. “Come on, let’s get you inside, Y/N,” he gently tells you, helping you up from the floor even though your body feels like a pile of brick.
You can feel everyone staring at you, whispering behind your back as you try to hide in Harry’s arms while he walks you back inside, away from the man that tried to take your life. He walks you into one of the bathrooms and closing the lid he sits you down to the toilet while he grabs a towel and wetting it he kneels in front of you, tapping the cloth to your cheeks gently. You haven’t even realized that you’ve been sweating from the shock and the coldness feels amazing against your burning skin.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble, but not even you are sure why.
“Nothing to be sorry for, Y/N,” he gently murmurs, giving your hand a squeeze as you shut your eyes closed. He grabs a glass from one of the cabinets and fills it with water handing it over to you.
“Thank you,” you mumble, bringing it to your trembling lips, but before you could drink it, your eyes snap up to meet his gaze. “And thank you for… what you did.” Your voice dies down at the end, the picture of the man pointing the gun at you still living so vividly in your mind.
“No need, it’s my job after all, right?” he chuckles softly, making your lips twitch the slightest bit before you start sipping on the water.
The police show up soon and they arrest the man who refuses to talk. They also request you to give your statement about what happened, but Harry manages to let you just give them the brief story and go in sometime soon to give them your full statement so you don’t have to spend any more time there. They are quite sure the man was hired by someone who doesn’t want you to finish your project, and it’s scary how far some people are willing to go just for the money, just to keep sick people in suffering for their own benefit.
Heading home you stay silent as Harry drives, staring out the window you let the nightlights of the city pass by you while you still see the same face, the face of the man that held a gun at you tonight. The gunshot is still ringing through your ears, it was so close, so real… of course it was real! All of it was real and your life was on the line. If it weren’t for Harry, you wouldn’t be here right now.
Arriving to your home Harry helps you out of the car and you cling onto his hand as you head up to the apartment. He keys the two of you into your home, flicking the lights on and looking around before you go further inside, just to be sure.
“It’s all clear, don’t worry,” he murmurs as you nod and make your way into the bedroom. Kicking your heels off your feet you sit on the edge of the bed, letting out a long breath, feeling your limbs loosening up a bit for the first time in the past hour.
Harry moves around the place doing whatever before he joins you in the room, kneeling in front of you his hands find your bare knees and your eyes meet his worry-filled green irises.
“Do you want to take a shower?” he softly asks and you nod your head. “Come on, I’ll start the water for you.”
He helps you up from the bed and walks you into the bathroom. You stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do as he starts running the water in the walk in shower before he steps back to you.
“Would you…?” you ask, turning around, needing help with the zipper of your dress. Harry clears his throat as his fingers work on it and a moment later the fabric loosens around your frame as you hold it to your chest with your arms. Turning back around you peek up at Harry and you notice the slight blush on his cheeks.
“I’ll be outside at the door, okay?” He whispers, his fingers delicately touching your cheek as you nod before you watch him walk out and close the door behind him.
The hot water feels freshening, like it could burn away the memories even though it’s still so vivid in your mind. You stand under the running water longer than you intended, but it feels nice and needed. Once you’re done, you wrap yourself into a fluffy towel and walk out of the steamy bathroom only to find Harry sitting at the edge of your bed, waiting like a loyal puppy. When he sees you, he stands from his spot and you don’t miss the way his eyes scan over your body that’s barely covered.
“Alright, I’ll go now, but if you—“ “Don’t!” you gasp, panic taking over you at the thought of being left alone. One of your hands grasps his arm to stop him from moving and he freezes in his spot, staring back at your fearful eyes. “Please, stay here,” you plead, voice barely over than just a whisper.
There’s a heartbeat of a pause in him as he is watching you intently and for a moment you think he’ll say no, but then his hand finds yours on his arm and he gives it a gentle squeeze as he nods.
“Okay.”
You let out a long, relieved breath as you ease into comfort. He’s staying, he’ll be with you all night, protecting you from everything and everyone.
“Can I take a shower too?” he asks softly and you nod, stepping to your wardrobe to get him a clean towel. “Thank you. I’ll be back shortly,” he tells you before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door closed behind him.
You hear the water running again and you find yourself standing at the same spot as you listen to the noises coming from the bathroom. Harry is in there, soaking under the water naked and you can’t take your mind off of how badly you want to be there with him.
It’s not just because of what happened tonight, though it made you realize that you don’t have much time to waste. Nothing can assure that you’ll live another day and you don’t want to deny happiness from yourself. You want to be with Harry and as far as you can make it out, he feels the same way.
Upon a sudden decision, you pad your way over to the bathroom door and open it carefully, the warmth immediately hitting your face as you step inside and close it behind you. The glass of the shower is steamed up, you can only make out the blurry frame of Harry in there and you wonder if he heard you come in, but it doesn’t seem like that. His clothes from the night are lying on the floor in a pile, his watch that he always wears is carefully placed next to the sink.
Your hands grab onto the edge of the towel around your body and you unwrap yourself, hanging it up on the wall before stepping to the shower. Hoping you won’t scare him, you open the door, the steam immediately hugging your naked body warmly and you see him standing there with his back facing you as you step into the spacious walk-in shower.
He notices your presence, you see him freeze mid-movement before he peeks over his shoulder, his eyes falling on you as he slowly turns, facing you completely. Standing in front of him completely bare, you feel more vulnerable than ever in your life. You’re scared that he is going to send you away, that he won’t let you get closer to him and if that happens, you’ll feel humiliated, but he just stands there in his naked glory and doesn’t say anything, so you take it as a chance to shoot your shot.
Reaching up your hands slide to his hard chest, up to the base of his neck as you push your front against his, skin to skin with the hot water running down your bodies. His hands find your waist and you could cry from the feeling of his touch on you. Pushing yourself up to your tiptoes your nose nudges against his as your eyes fall closed.
“Y/N,” he breathes out, stopping you right when your lips could meet. Opening your eyes you see the hesitation in his green irises that appear so much darker than they usually do.
“Do you not want it? You don’t want me?” you whisper.
“I do. It’s not that,” he sighs shaking his head slightly. “But you went through a lot today. I don’t want you to make decisions you might regret in the morning.”
You can’t help the small smile that tugs on your lips at how considerate and protective he is over you, thinking that this might be just something that crashed over you in the heat of the moment, but it’s been in the making from the first day you met him. Despite all your protesting against him, you knew you needed him and not just as your guard. He is what’s been missing from your life all along, you just never realized it.
“There’s nothing I could regret when it comes to you, Harry. I needed tonight to open my eyes. Our days are counted, I’m done running from my own happiness.”
He lets out a long, shaky breath as his hands hold tighter onto your waist while your hands run up his neck until your fingers tangle into his wet locks.
“I need you. And not just because of tonight. I’ve always needed you.”
“I’m here, Y/N. I’m all yours,” he breathes out before his lips smash against yours all wet and hard, but it’s the most heavenly feeling you’ve ever experienced.
You become a mess, tangled in each other, lips melting together as your hands explore naked limbs and torsos, bodies pressing tightly against each other shamelessly. Harry walks you backwards until your back hits the cold tile and you let out a whimper as you arch your back at the sudden feeling, just as his head dips down, lips attacking your neck, kissing and nibbling on the soft skin. Your light leg lifts as his hands wander down your thigh, your hips pressing together and you feel how hard he is, his cock pushed against your other thigh, making you moan at the feeling. Reaching down you blindly wrap a hand around the base, giving him a few slow pumps, earning a guttural growl from him before his lips return to yours, kissing you hard and filled with passion. His hands are all over you, on your thighs, ass, back and chest, as if he was mapping your whole body wanting to remember how every inch feels under his touch.
Without tearing his lips away from yours, he blindly reaches behind him, shutting the water off before urging you to jump into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist. He carries you out of the shower, placing you to the counter next to the sink as he stands between your legs, his hands once again finding your breasts as they knead them, making you whimper and shake under his touch. It’s euphoric and addictive, you already know you won’t be able to go a day without feeling him against you like this.
“Bed?” he breathes out against your mouth and you nod eagerly. Reaching to the side he grabs a towel, wrapping it around you, tapping and squeezing you to dry you off, throwing fits of giggles when you grab it and wrap it around his body as well.
The towel falls to the floor abandoned and forgotten as he lifts you off the counter and brings you to the bed, laying you down and holding himself up above you with one arm. His other hand cups your cheek and turning your head you kiss his palm gently, eyes glued to his as he settles between your legs.
“Are you sure about this?” he breathes out, his lips dancing against your cheek and the corner of your mouth.
“Yes! Harry, please!” you beg with a whimper, your whole body aching to feel him inside you.
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you, love,” he kisses you as his hand leaves your heated face, runs down your naked body until his fingers reach your throbbing clit.
He slides two digits through your already wet folds, but just to work you up even more he starts drawing circles on your bud, turning you into a whimpering mess underneath him. Your fingers dig into the lean muscles on his back, feeling them twitch from his movements and one hand sliding down to his ass, grabbing a handful of him while pushing him closer to you, his erection pressing against your core.
“Harry, I need you!” you moan, not able to contain yourself any longer. You need to feel him, you need him as close as possible.
Reaching over to your nightstand you grab a condom from the drawer, ripping the package open with your teeth before you carefully grab his erection and roll the condom down his length, ready to finally feel him inside you.
He flicks his fingers on your clit one last time before his hand wraps around the base of his cock, giving it a few pumps while his soft lips kiss down your jawline and throat, his face hiding in the crook of his neck. Your arms circle around his shoulders, your chest heaving from the sensation as he positions himself just right, the tip teasing your hole. Harry lifts his head up, his bright eyes finding your gaze just as he sinks into you, filling you up perfectly.
“H-Harry! Fuck—“ you gasp at the feeling, your walls stretching around his thick cock as he stays still for a few moments, letting you adjust to his size.
You draw your legs up, giving you more space to go deeper as he starts thrusting, sliding in and out of you oh so perfectly, inching you closer to your relief with each movement. You cup his face in your hands, staring into his eyes as if you could see his soul in them and for a split second, you feel like you actually do. His lips are parted and the cross pendant is grazing your chest while he fucks into you, never falling out of his rhythm.
You want to beg to him not to stop, to keep moving and moving, but no words can leave your mouth as your back arches, your orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach. You start grinding your hips in sync with his, allowing him to reach deeper into you, making your toes curl from pleasure.
“Harry, I’m gonna—I-I’m gonna—Ah!” You can’t make up one coherent sentence as your legs start shaking, feeling your orgasm taking over your body.
“I know, baby. Let it go. Let me make you feel good,” he pants, his lips kissing you everywhere he can reach, your lips smashing against each other in a messy kiss, your tongue meeting his in the middle just when you reach your high.
You moan and cry out his name, fingers digging into his flesh as you chase your release. Seeing you fall apart underneath him is enough to throw him over the edge, spilling himself into the condom as his mouth hangs agape, your name falling off his tongue as if it was the holiest glorification. Combing your fingers through his hair you hold him to your chest as he collapses on top of you, his head lying on your naked chest as you both try to catch your breath in the sudden silence that came over you without the sounds of your passion.
Rolling off of your body he slips out of you, an empty feeling taking over you right away, but he is quick to cradle you into his arms to keep the intimacy. You lay your head to his chest, a thin layer of sweat covering the both of you, but you couldn’t care less. You listen to his steady heartbeat as you draw one of the swallows on his chest with your finger, running it over the lines of the ink. You want to soak in the moment and stay in it for as long as possible, but you can barely keep your eyes open. As Harry’s fingers are gently running up and down your bare back you let your eyes close and the last thing you remember is hearing his soft whisper.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll keep you safe.”
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You wake up without an alarm in the morning and it’s the first time for that in a long-long time. You stir and groan before you open your eyes, your hands reaching out next to you, looking for the man that was next to you when you fell asleep, but there’s nothing and no one beside you now.
Panic rises in your chest as your eyes pop open and you frantically look around in the room, hoping to see him somewhere near, but you’re alone.
“Harry?” you call you as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest since you’re still naked. No answer comes and you can feel your heart rate rising instantly.
Getting out of bed you grab the nearest clothing item you find which is an old hoodie, and you put on a pair of clean panties before you carefully walk out of the bedroom, afraid of what you might find outside, but it’s completely silent and still, no one is around. Harry has left.
“Fuck,” you breathe out, feeling the lump in your throat growing as tears are forming in your eyes.
Where did he go? Why did he leave? Is he coming back? Is he gone forever?
You can’t stop yourself from going into depth you shouldn’t, just because you don’t find him first thing in the morning, but you still haven’t entirely recovered from last night’s events and before you could stop yourself, you are thinking about the worst possibilities there could be.
And then you hear the lock turning in the front door.
Blood rushes out of your head as you freeze, afraid it’s another attacker and this time you won’t be as lucky as you were last night. But as the door opens Harry walks in with a paper bag in his arm and you can’t help, but start sobbing at the sight of him.
“Harry!” you cry out, launching at him and he barely have time to put the bag down before he catches you, locking you in his strong arms.
“Hey! No need to worry, it’s just me!” he soothes softly, his hands running up and down your back and head. “I’m sorry I scared you, just wanted to get you something to eat, baby,” he murmurs, kissing the side of your head as you try your best to hold back your sobs.
“I just woke up alone and I thought…”
“I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have left while you were sleeping. But I’m back and I’m alright.”
You just nod, hugging him a little longer before you loosen your hold around him to lean back and look him in the eyes.
“So… you’re staying? With me?”
“If you want me to, yes,” he nods with a soft smile as he cups your tear-soaked face in his hands. “I’ll keep you safe and sound and I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”
“Just be yourself and… be with me,” you shyly ask him and he nods, his smile growing into a wide grin before he leans down and captures your lips in a sweet, intoxicating kiss.
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Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!
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diavolosthots · 3 years
Note
Hey dear! I hope that you have a good time! I want to make a request, but please delete it if you don't feel like doing it.
I saved that request in the notes and been waiting for you to open them 😊
For request
First fight with brother (any of your choice) and one of them (I mean MC or that brother) thinks that it's end of relationship (because never had anything serious), but they reconciled in the end. I want some heavy angst with happy ending. MC can be GN if that is OK.
If you don't mind you can do for Mammon, but feel free to choose another one if you don't feel like write for him. Or if that would be better to write as headcanons for all the brothers. That's up to you!
I haven't been doing requests for ages. Please don't hate me if there is something wrong! I've read the rules, and I hope I haven't missed anything.
Anyway, sorry for long ask. And thank you for your writings!
(I forgot to look if you did anything similar, and remembered it at the end of writing that ask. Sorry if you already did something like that!)
Hey babes ❤ I did end up doing HCs for all of them because I thought it would be cooler (or more like I know someone is gonna request separate fics for all of them if I dont and I'm saving myself that trouble lol) I still hope you like it ! ❤ also this got SUPER LONG so its under a cut
Warning: angst -> happy ending-ish
THE BROTHERS in a fight with MC and thinking that they’re over (yikes)
Lucifer:
Everyone always says Lucifer is quick to lose his cool but he’s honestly been nothing but patient with you. He may have hinted at several things he doesn’t condone and he definitely has that ‘look’, you know the disappointed dad look, but he has held back a lot so as to not ruin the beautiful relationship you have with him. Everyone snaps, though, and when he finally did, it was ugly. He did NOT call you names, but oh he didn’t. He went straight for your feelings and pointed out every mistake you ever made for as long as he’s known you. Ouch. In his defense, you weren’t nice either. The argument ended nasty and ‘I hate you’s!’ were definitely thrown around, but none of them were meant, right? Goodness, he doesn’t know. After you left, he threw himself on his bed, literally, and just stared at the ceiling. His anger slowly fled away and he began to feel… guilty. Not necessarily because of the argument itself, but because he delivered some low blows and he knows that. Are you over? Done with him? You haven’t texted or called or talked… you’ve been actively avoiding him and he doesn’t like that, but his pride is such an issue, goodness. He can’t straight up apologize, that dickhead, but he’s sending you flowers and standing in front of your door with a sad face that says it all. 
“Forgive me? I made reservations at your favorite’s? We can talk over a nice dinner?” 
Mammon:
Mammon is known to get mildly agitated over the silliest things, let’s be real. He’s also quick to revert to the “are you dumb?!” argument, which is never effective. But he loves you and he would do anything for you so even if you do do something that he deems ‘dumb’, he usually bites his tongue. Doesn’t mean that doesn’t get on his nerves, though, and he definitely has a short temper, although people tend to overlook that. You just managed to push his buttons today and he used the “are ya stupid?!” argument, to which you obviously defended yourself, and rightfully so. This ended in a massive screaming match and him saying “Then leave! Ain’t nobody keepin’ ya with me!” He regretted it the minute those words left his mouth and you could see his eyes grow wide in shock at his own words, but that didn’t mean you stayed. “MC!” he tried running after you immediately but you were faster and honestly, who can blame you? He fucked up, and he knows it, and he feels terrible about it. Honestly, he’s crying just at the mere thought of you taking his words seriously and he can’t… he can’t bear to lose you, you know? What’s he gonna do? You’re the light of his life, as pathetic as that may sound to some…. So he won’t let you run away. Homie will hunt you down and beg for forgiveness. 
“Please, MC! Forgive me! I’m dumb, not you!!! Don’t leave me…” Don’t leave him. He will continue crying. 
Leviathan:
His constant need to put himself down is frankly, quite annoying. To you anyway. But you put up with it and just reassure him that, at least to you, he’s the most amazing demon that ever existed. It’s just facts. But a person only has so much patience, right? You can’t always spend your days trying to lift him up when all he does is dig himself a bigger hole. Who has the emotional time for that? You sure don’t. “Oh my God, Levi! Shut up! I can’t take it anymore!” Followed by “See! You’re just like everyone else! Leaving me!” and then you slamming the door to his room shut. It’s frustrating and understandably so. It makes you feel awful that you can’t even make your own boyfriend feel good about himself and get at least a little bit of self confidence and it’s so, so, so very draining to have to constantly listen to that. At this point, it’s affecting your own mental health and you just… you just can’t…. But Levi can’t lose you because he knows you’re right. He has to work on himself if he wants to keep someone as amazing as you with him and that’s why he’s crawling back to you now. 
“Look I… I know you’re right… I’m sorry. I promise I’ll … I’ll try. For you.”
Satan:
For being the Avatar of Wrath, you always admired Satan for his ability to keep cool. He prefers the relaxed and easy going life much more than the type of life people expect him to live, and you respect that. That doesn’t mean his constant need to one up Lucifer, through whatever means necessary, didn’t bother the hell out of you, though. You tried talking to him about it once or twice in a calm manner, but you always got the same answer “Pfft.. it’s Lucifer. Who cares?” And it never sat right with you. Just today he decided to pull a prank on the eldest and you had enough, standing in front of Lucifer and letting the bucket of cursed green slime land on you instead, to everyone’s shock. “What are you doing?!” Now that you’re thoroughly green from head to toe, you were also beyond pissed. “What am I doing?! What are YOU doing?!” But Satan matched your anger tenfold, accusing you of favoring Lucifer over him and oh! “You probably got an affair with him, too!” Which was a stupid thing on his part, but it looked like it the way you defended him. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion you felt running through you and had it not been for Lucifer, you probably would’ve physically fought Satan for such a dumb accusation. Lucifer took you to get cleaned up and lifted the course, giving you your natural skin and hair color back within a few days and plenty of scrubbing, and Satan felt like shit. You’ve always been there for him and, rationally speaking, he didn’t have a reason to doubt your loyalty to him, but he just can’t help but feel insecure beside Lucifer…. He decides to come apologize anyway, a deep blush on his face and guilt in his eyes 
“I’m… sorry for accusing you. It wasn’t my right to speak out of anger and jealousy…” 
Asmodeus:
How can anyone fight with the Avatar of Lust? Seriously, the guy is super easy going and he loves pretty much everyone. Not as much as himself, but almost. You on the other hand… you didn’t. Well you didn’t NOT love him or yourself, but you were just… you. You didn’t spend 4+ hours in the bathroom trying to get ready when you knew you were only going to the kitchen down the stairs. Like?? Although you never brought it up to Asmodeus, he constantly bothered you about skincare and what foods to eat and what not to eat, etc… It’s quite annoying, honestly, and at some point you just gave him a passive aggressive “Okay, whatever. Can we move on now?” To which he didn’t take lightly. He was still nice and sweet, trying to convince you that at least one of these things will make your skin glow brighter than a unicorn’s ass but you just had enough. “Can you stop?! You’re indirectly saying I’m ugly without that shit ton of product in my face and a diet that would make me starve before it helped me! If you want a skinny VS angel that barely holds onto their skeleton, get one!” It was more hurt and frustration speaking than anything, but your outburst still shocked him and he was taken aback for a moment. And then you ignored him for a week straight and as someone who thrives off of attention, especially the kind he gets from you, he can’t handle that! So he showed up in your room in sweats and a tshirt and messy hair and no product on his skin. 
“You’re right… we’re all naturally beautiful…. Wow that… that really hurts to say MC but can you forgive me?” 
Beelzebub:
Oh the sweet, sweet angel. He’s far from innocent and you know that. We all know that. But for this story, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. His reliance on Belphegor is just really… annoying. Belphegor this, Belphegor that. “Belphie used to…” or “Belphie said….” or “one day when Belphie and I….” Like why does everything have to include his twin? It’s so annoying and so rude when your significant other is right here !!! and planning their own future with you, Beel, thanks. It makes you feel less than and like Belphegor will always come before you. It makes you feel like shit, quite frankly, and who is to blame you? “Hey MC did I tell you what Belphie---!” “No! Shut up! I don’t care! It’s always about Belphie! The day you come to me and don’t let that name drip from your tongue is the day Jesus comes back to save me and we both know that will be never! I’m tired of always being stuck with Belphegor! We are not equals!” Granted, you shouldn’t have yelled and Beel was more than confused at your outburst, but you wouldn’t talk to him anymore after that so he left you alone. He thought you may need an hour or two, maybe a day tops, but that day turned into a full week and he even lost his appetite just because he knows you’re angry with him. It’s been a week, does that mean you’re over? His heart aches just at the thought… 
“I’m sorry for bringing Belphie up… I don’t want you to feel less than, MC. You mean a lot to me and so does Belphie, but you’re not Belphie and I need to learn that…”
Belphegor:
Honestly it’s a miracle he hasn’t lost his temper at you yet. Well, he partially blames it on his own laziness because if being angry or getting upset didn’t take so much energy out of him, maybe he would’ve snapped by now lol, but he tries really hard not to because he thinks your relationship with him after everything is pretty good, considering yall kiss and snuggle and fuck on a regular basis. But anyway, that’s exactly the issue. Considering everything, you’re still holding *that* against him. It’s never direct either, which makes it worse. It’s always said in a joking manner and something like “haha look it’s just like that one time you killed me” or “Beel’s grabbing that ham like you grabbed my throat” or “I remember seeing jesus for a moment there” and it agitates him. It makes him so angry, and he finally snapped. “I know I fucked up MC! Stop holding it against me! What do you want? A medal of honor? A survivor's certificate? Maybe a pat on the back for developing some sort of Stockholm syndrome that made you come back to your abuser?!” And then he left. And you may have cried both from confusion and your own anger, he isn’t quite sure. It’s just so…. Aggravating. He can’t deal with it. He knows it was a mistake spurted by his own insecurities and survivor’s guilt which ultimately led to his hatred but please, stop holding it against him.. He can’t keep putting up with it from the person he’s grown to love. He’s the one ignoring you and he won’t budge either because he’s a stubborn ass, but maybe if you come up first… 
“I’m sorry for yelling at you… I’m just so tired for it being held against me… I love you, and you should know that, and I do feel guilty about what happened.” 
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yoonpobs · 3 years
Text
bad boy good thing xiv.
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pairing: jeon jungkook x oc
genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining
warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)
words: 5, 690
summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing
a/n:
hello!!!! we’re here at fourteen chapters omg ✨✨when i first started this series it was mostly self-indulgent and now there are people who actually enjoy reading it??🥺 it almost doesn’t seem real T.T 
thank you so much for the love and support!!! just so I don't give too much spoilers for this chap - I apologise to my fellow geminis for the potential slander 🤣 this is more of a self-drag lmaooo 
anyway, I hope you enjoy this chap!!!
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“Ah. I’m getting allergies.” Yena sniffs, scrunching her nose.
You furrow your brows in concern, “Are you okay? Do you need any medicine?”
“It’s just the seasonal changes,” She brushes you off.
You nod in understanding, “I get it. My mom has horrible reactions towards pollen so—”
“I’m not allergic to flowers.” She blinks.
“Then what—?”
“It’s Gemini season. It’s like—literally the worst time of the year.” She blinks.
You gawk at her, taking a whole ten seconds to process her serious tone when she doesn’t waver under your scrutiny.
“I’m a Gemini,” You inform her slowly.
“I mean …” She shrugs all as you scowl at her, opting to throw the closest object you had, which was your favourite pen so you decide against it; simply shooting her the meanest glare you could possibly muster.
“Look, it’s not you,” She sighs, and you’re half-expecting her to finish with an it’s me to make you scoff, “It’s me.” And there you go. “I mean, it’s Gemini’s in general because they’re two-faced bitches who have the worst emotional attachment issues. Like they’re literally what the opposite of glue is. And they’re so over-analytical. How is it like psychoanalysing every person you meet only to hurt your own feelings and sulk about it?”
You blink.
“I mean it’s not you but if the shoe fits.” She says casually, plopping a grape into her mouth that you’re tempted to slap away.
“You’re so mean!” You pout indignantly.
She cackles, throwing her head back as you continue to sulk. You weren’t that bad. You just … you were risk-averse! You liked having the freedom to observe everyone and anyone and package them into tiny compartments in your head so you could understand them better. You weren’t … that Gemini.
“You’re so cute,” She coos pinching your cheeks. “No wonder Beef One and Beef Two like you so much.” She teases.
Your first reaction is to blush because you know who exactly she’s talking about, but you have more pressing matters, like—
“You have nicknames for them?” You ask, baffled.
“Hey, I wasn’t friends with many girls in high school. Don’t girls usually have nicknames for their crushes?” She says through a pout.
You stay expressionless as you try to gauge the level of seriousness you can extract from her tone.
You realise she’s dead serious.
“Yeah, but we’re in college,” You argue, scrunching your nose, “And sides’, it’s not like they’re strangers. We know them.”
She rolls her eyes, waving you off like you were the inconvenience here. Then she leans forward, her eyes twinkling as she takes a complete one-eighty that you try to adjust to.
“So … you Gemini hoe, what’s your plans?” She nudges you.
You raise a brow, “Did you just call me a—?”
“Plans, ___. Stay on track.” She scolds.
You sigh, still fond but you pretend to be annoyed. You really couldn’t get annoyed with Yena. After all, the more time you spend with her the more you realise how much life sucked before you had her in your life. You spent each moment learning more about her quirks and habits, her choice of words that made you giggle or laugh until you were crying.
And you realise that this is how she loves, a little rough but welcomed nonetheless.
“If you’re talking about my birthday then … not much. I’m probably stuck doing admin work for the college’s charity programme.” You shrug, stabbing a fork into your soiled salad.
Yena gapes at you, “Not much—excuse me? It’s your birthday! You’re turning twenty-five!” 
You look at her dryly, “I’ve been twenty-five since the year—”
She groans, “That’s not the same! You’re like—officially twenty-five. You’re literally hitting the mark for a quarter-life crisis. Isn’t that something to celebrate?” 
“Me going through an existential crisis at the end of my degree is not how I want to celebrate my birthday but okay,” You blink.
She rolls her eyes at your realism.
“That’s not the point. Point is, this is our first birthday together and I want it to be special.” She points out.
You snort, “What? Are we doubling my birthday as our monthsary or something?”
She shoves you with a brute force that has you snickering but she continues to pester you anyway.
“You’re so dumb. So smart, but so dumb,” She shakes her head, “You’re always studying or doing some form of work that requires the use of more than one brain cell. You deserve a break. Besides, you have two dudes to pick from on how you’d like to be wined and dined and—”
“Yena!” You whine.
“—it’ll be like an episode of the Bachelorette! But just with a super cool and smart best friend that’ll make the decision for you. It’s not your birthday. It’s ours.” She emphasises towards the end.
You stare at her for a long second, before the two of you are bursting into laughter at the absurdity of her statement. 
It was nice, just to laugh about things without having your heart feel so heavy. Even if it was a mild distraction, it was still wholly pleasant to be able to just talk about mindless things that didn’t require much mental gymnastics to navigate the conversation with.
“What are the two of you laughing about?” Taehyung and Jimin arrive at impeccable timing, sliding into the booth with their own packaged food. It’s very college-student-esque, a cute paper (because no plastic) container filled with an array of assortments.
“None of your XY chromosomes business.” Yena retorts.
Jimin blinks, “You are literally so hostile.”
“Then don’t give me a reason to be.” She sticks her tongue out petulantly.
You laugh, nudging her with your shoulder, “Be nice.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes but manages to keep a civil smile on his face. Always the more rational one between the two. 
“Anyway, Yena definitely isn’t going to answer me so, what’s up?” He turns to look at you.
You roll your eyes but it’s half-hearted, “She wants to celebrate my birthday like we’re on the Bachelorette.”
“Like you’re on the Bachelorette.” She corrects.
“Oh my God, our baby’s turning twenty-five!” Jimin coos at the reminder, pinching your cheeks as he coddles you. You scowl and weakly shove him away, even if you preen under the attention.
“I’m literally older than the both of you.” You huff.
Yena blinks, “There’s no way I’m the oldest person at this table.”
Taehyung furrows his brows, “Wait—how old are you?”
She sends him a scathing glare that has his arms raised up in defence.
“Jeez, okay. Don’t answer.”
“I’m going to answer because you told me not to.” She clips. “I’m twenty-seven.”
Jimin blinks, “No wonder you and Yoongi hyung are so alike.”
You almost miss it, but as Yena so eloquently pointed out, you were a sucker for psychoanalysing people (even if you didn’t want to admit it yet) that you notice the way she flushes ever so slightly as she scoffs.
“Him? How dare you compare me to that sorry excuse of a—!”
“Okay, everyone is beneath you. I’m sorry your highness.” Jimin rolls his eyes.
You make a note to ask her about it because you know for a fact that Yoongi ‘complains’ about Yena every hour he can. It’s almost as if he can’t go long enough without mentioning her.
You smile to yourself as you duck your head.
“Exactly,” She flips her hair over her shoulders before turning to face you. “Anyway, back to you—our baby.”
Taehyung nods, “Exactly, the baby.”
You scrunch your nose, “Don’t coddle me.”
He pats your head before cooing at you like he would to an actual baby, “But you’re just so cute. You’re too good for this shitty world. Too good for the likes of mere mortals like us.”
“Not me.” Yena blinks before gesturing to their bodies, “You.”
Jimin sticks his tongue out in retaliation as you sigh at their never-ending bickering.
Somehow … it felt right. You think it most of the times but you don’t know any other way to describe how it feels to be back with your friends, laughing, bickering and just appreciating their presence.
When you and Jungkook had your issues, it was like you made the conscious choice to avoid everyone and anyone as much as you could, and any interaction you had during that period was purely out of coincidences and not the intention. You remember actively avoiding Jimin and Taehyung because it felt too draining to pretend like you didn’t have a battle in your head. Even studying or spending time with Namjoon made you feel guilty, the thought of Jungkook lingering in your mind. Yena was there through it all, but even then you saw her as much as you did with any of your classmates you so happened to share a class with.
In fact, if it weren’t for Yena you’d probably have zero social interactions as a whole because she just knew. She somehow picked up on your internal conflicts but never outwardly shamed you or confronted you about it. All she did was be there for you, offering you her presence and you were grateful.
So, yeah. Things were better, but your heart was still at its core—confused. Your feelings for Jungkook didn’t disappear overnight and you knew that you were the one that asked for space.
You forgave him … you did, honestly. But there are things you can’t forget, and those are the things that you wished you could. The words he said in principle, was outright shitty. But the fact that it came from him only poked at every single one of your insecurities that you developed over the years.
You knew it wasn’t healthy to compare yourself to other women when they were living vastly different lives than you were, but it’s proven difficult when you’re forced to see these type of women every day, at college, in your community work or on the media. 
Believing Jungkook’s apparent feelings for you was harder because, well. Jungkook was Jungkook. He wasn’t just another guy, and despite his shortcomings, he had more merits than he’d let on and you knew that people saw that. It was also the fact that Jungkook had a charm that drew all types of people in. He was soft-spoken but passionate, and people loved a quiet achiever.
You … knew about the women. Way before Jennie and way before the thing between the two of you happened. Jimin and Taehyung would always update you about the new fling or girl he had tied to his hip just as he was in his final year in high school. You had to force a smile every single time they’d snicker and joke about how your Jungkook suddenly became a man overnight.
And you noticed the trend with the women he liked. They were … captivating. Beautiful wasn’t even enough to describe them because they looked like they could carry the world on their shoulders and spark immense change with just the movement of their lips. They were confident and charismatic, outgoing and just the right amount of flirty. You were anything but.
It sucked, majorly, because you spent years agonising over the fact that you were already coined with the older sister title in the group because of the way you acted—just a little more uptight than the average woman your age. You were quiet but loud in the right company; you didn’t like crowds, socialising or mingling around with people you didn’t know and based on your observations it seemed like that was the only thing that Jungkook’s been doing ever since he made it to senior year in high school, and even in the first years of college.
You don’t resent him, you think. You couldn’t blame him because you weren’t honest either. You consented, to all of the kisses and touches even if he hadn’t officially had sex with you. You wanted to, but you were terrified. Not at the prospect of penetration but at the prospect of not being enough and the fact that Jungkook was the only person you wanted to have sex with while he had options that were far more attractive and experienced than you were.
That’s why you needed time because at least you could get your shit together even if it was an uphill battle.
“Earth to ____?” Taehyung waves a hand in front of your face with a concerned expression.
You blink, snapping out of your daze as you offer a meek smile and an apology.
“We just asked you if you wanted a small get together at Tae’s and I’s place for your birthday?” Jimin asks.
“Really?” You beam. That was exactly what you preferred.
“Yeah, we know you don’t like clubs and stuff. Just a small and intimate gathering with all your best buds.” He grins.
You nod your head, but Yena beats you to a response.
“By best buds you mean the three friends she has, which is us and the two meatheads duelling for her affection.” She snorts.
You flush, “Y-Yena!”
Taehyung snickers at your embarrassment.
“It doesn’t help that both of them are literally the biggest dudes on the football team. It’s literally like watching King Kong and Godzilla getting into a fight for world domination.”
Jimin throws his back in laughter as you fold your arms across your chest at post at the way your friends are practically crying in laughter at the image. Jimin was clutching onto Taehyung for his dear life because if he didn’t then he’d fall off the chair.
“Stop,” You whine, “you guys are being mean.”
“Oh my God, you’re literally the only person on this earth that would take two people fighting for your attention as an offence.” Taehyung groans.
“I-It’s not that!” You deny exasperatedly, “I-It’s just … awkward …”
Jimin sighs with a small smile, patting your head.
“If it’s any consolation I think it’s offensive that Jungkook thinks he even has the right to breathe in—”
“Jimin!”
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“Wow. It really is like King Kong and Godzilla.” Jimin whistles lowly, eyeing the scene before him with amusement lingering in his eyes.
“Do you think they’re gonna start slamming their chests soon or …?” Taehyung trails off in a whisper, leaning into Jimin so that the two other men wouldn’t notice.
“I can literally hear you.” You say dryly.
Jimin offers you a plastic smile, “You’re meant to hear us, babe. How about you try to tame them like Jane did with Tarzan?”
Jimin nearly shrieks when you shove him so fiercely that he topples over into Taehyung’s grasp as the second part of the duo only catches him in the process. 
You sigh, completely ignoring the way that Jimin’s muttering curses that were directed to you under his breath. Instead, you were transfixed on the scene before you—which specifically is Jungkook and Namjoon staring each other down through the mirror of the gym. You were lucky that it was just the five of you since Namjoon was able to use his captain privileges to book the gym because you had no idea how to explain the fact that two big-sized men were attempting to outdo each other in their circuit reps as if they were on a suicide mission.
“Listen, when I agreed to help you out with your sets I thought I was meant to help log it in for a report.” You exasperate, but the two men continue their manly lift-off as they huff and puff their exertion away.
“Trust me, you are helping. Being the motivation is more than—”
This time it’s Taehyung who faces your wrath as you thwack him upside the head. 
From where Jungkook and Namjoon were, Jungkook can only deliver death stares into the direction of his captain who returns it tenfold. He wasn’t even sure why they were doing this but something a flicked definitely switched in Jungkook when Namjoon (purposefully) revealed that you were helping out with something. At the gym. Supposedly alone.
Jungkook’s primitive side came out because the next thing Namjoon knew was that Jungkook managed to drag himself, and Jimin and Taehyung as a diversion. He still feels his chest swell with pride when recalling the scowl on Namjoon’s face when he entered the gym, all fake smiles and a pep in his step.
“____, could you help me spot?” Namjoon breathes, sitting up from whatever the hell he was doing with the barbell. You weren’t fixated with gym language and you weren’t even sure why he was asking you when there was an entire Jimin and Taehyung right next to you.
“Uh, okay sure—“
“Noona,” Jungkook calls.
You freeze.
“Jungkook … I thought we established that you don’t need to call me that anymore.” You raise an eyebrow.
You miss the obvious glare that Namjoon shoots his bitchass friend, as well as the snorts that leave Jimin and Taehyung’s mouth.
“Pay attention to me,” Jungkook pouts. Like, actually pouts. You somehow flush because he seemed so much like the younger version of Jungkook who used to always coddle you for attention.
“Okay but after I help—”
“Yeah. After she helps me.” Namjoon interjects, and you nearly jump at the way he’s suddenly behind you, more so—pressed against your back with his hands on your hips as he moves you aside to get to another piece of equipment.
Your breath hitches because while you weren’t exactly invested in Namjoon in the romantic sense, he was undeniably attractive and … big. You could salivate in private.
“Oh my God, do you see that?” Taehyung hisses in a hushed whisper.
“Hyung is petty,” Jimin gawks.
“This is Namjoon we’re talking about. Didn’t he steal all the umbrellas from your dorm because you ratted him out to the librarian when he broke a bookshelf?” Taehyung recalls.
Jimin pauses to retract his mind to that moment.
“He’s so petty and I’m living for it. Look at Kook’s face,” He snickers, nudging Taehyung with his shoulder.
Jungkook only can clench his jaw in return because he knew that you wouldn’t be a fan of him reaching out to strangle the shit out of Namjoon. But the older boy seems fine, if not pleased with how Jungkook’s fuming in his own spot.
“Let me just …” You cock a thumb to Namjoon, before releasing a breath of your own and going to help him with whatever he needed in the first place.
“Jimin can help him. I have a more pressing problem.” He complains.
You stop in your tracks before turning around, raising an eyebrow at Jungkook who finally sits up, still staring at you like you held all the solutions in the world.
“Literally wait for your turn,” Namjoon scowls.
“My arm hurts,” Jungkook says, raising his arm to show you. 
“I don’t … see anything?” You furrow your brows.
“Because my muscles hurt, Noona,” Jungkook emphasises with a flex of his bicep and you can feel yourself get hot in the way your eyes can’t stray away.
You’re momentarily distracted by the blatant display of muscle by Jungkook that you completely miss the way that Jimin and Taehyung are struggling to breathe because of how hard they’re stifling their laughter or the way that Namjoon is contemplating on throwing the nearest dumbbell into Jungkook’s direction.
You flush, “Okay, you know what? Wait here. Let me get the first aid kit.” You mumble, quickly scampering off to alleviate yourself from the situation.
The moment you leave the room, Namjoon takes two long strides until he reaches where Jungkook’s sat, before wrapping a hand around the arm that was supposedly hurt—and squeezes.
“Ow! What the fuck hyung?!” Jungkook shrieks.
“Don’t hyung me, you brat.” Namjoon seethes, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Jungkook gapes, while Jimin and Taehyung watch in amusement.
“Me?! What’s wrong with you?” Jungkook retorts, equally as agitated, “Oh, _____, help spot me! Woe is me! Like she wouldn’t get crushed under you, you meathead!” 
“Like you’re any better,” Namjoon snaps, “Oh, Noona, pay attention to me. My arm hurts. You might as well have asked her to change your fucking diapers at the rate you’re acting like a damn child.”
“You’re the one that started all of this!” Jungkook exasperates, “With all due respect hyung, I love you and you’re my captain but I really feel like smashing your head into the wall right now.”
“That’s it?” Namjoon scoffs, “Well I’ll do you one better and let you know that every time you breathe in my direction I feel like—”
“Oh my God will you two idiots shut the fuck up?” Taehyung interjects, snapping at the two boys who pause, staring up at him with wide eyes.
Even Jimin is surprised at Taehyung’s intervention, purely because he was the type that usually let shit slide or let other people put problematic individuals into place. He was the mediator, the diplomat—not usually the aggressor.
“Wha—”
“Another peep and I’m going to smother your body under the dumbbells and leave you here to rot and die.” Taehyung seethes, staring straight into Jungkook’s soul.
That shuts him up.
“Both of you are acting like goddamn children, and for what? To battle out your masculinity to see who gets ____’s attention first?” Taehyung exasperates.
Namjoon clears his throat, “We were just—”
“—acting like a bunch of barbarians who’s never seen civilisation?” Taehyung retorts dryly, “Yeah. Because that’s exactly what this looks like. The two of you are so petty and for what? You two are literally rubbing the last remaining brain cells you have with each other but nothing is coming out from it. Like—nothing. Do you think she’d give a shit which one of you can lift more reps? That means absolutely nothing! She’s already freaked the fuck out at the prospect of her childhood best friend being in love with her and now we have Big Tit Number One and Two battling it out like you’re in the Greek Olympics.”
Jungkook blinks, and Jimin is mildly impressed.
“So before she comes back and tends to Jungkook’s hurt muscle,” Taehyung sneers, eyes narrowing at a guilty-looking Jungkook, “Both of you better sort your shit out.”
Namjoon flushes, embarrassed at the prospect of being called out, all while Jungkook is avoiding eye contact at all costs.
“Oh my God, do you have a crush on each other or something? Apologise!” Taehyung gestures towards the two boys who awkwardly blink at each other, feeling much like reprimanded children.
It’s Namjoon who breaks the silence first, clearly the more mature one in the situation.
“Look … Jungkook,” He sighs, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to … drag it out like this. I don’t mean it maliciously and you’re my friend and teammate, so I’d really hate if a girl got in the way.”
Jungkook nibbles on his lips, eyebrows still scrunched; and the irrational part of him tells him to ignore the apology. But with the way that Taehyung is glaring him down, with Jimin’s expectant gaze, he knows that he doesn’t have much of a choice.
“I’m sorry … too,” he winces at his own voice, “But just to let you know … I really …” He shuts his eyes, feeling his chest tighten when he tries to force the words out, “She isn’t just … a girl to me, hyung. I really, really like her. And—I know you like her too but … I fucked up and I really want to make things right and seeing you—”
Jungkook is flushing while he rambles on, fully aware that the rest of his friends are listening intently to him speaking his heart. But a hand rests itself on his shoulder, and when Jungkook opens his eyes he sees Namjoon offering him a gentle smile.
“I know,” He says, “I know I said I wouldn’t back off …” He trails off and Jungkook recalls the conversation he had with him in the very same gym just a few weeks back, “But I don’t think I can compete with a decade long love story.” 
Jungkook scoffs, though his ears are flushed.
“It’s really not—”
Namjoon waves him off, clasping a tight hand onto his back that tells him it’s okay, and whatever that was going on would get better. And Jungkook feels marginally better and allows himself to let out a sigh of release.
“So are the two of you gonna kiss or what?” Jimin asks in the midst of the silence.
Namjoon glares at the boy, “Don’t make me give you an extra ten laps.”
He backs down immediately, raising his hands up in defence. And at that moment, you return, all smiles and with a pant as you raise the first aid kit up.
“Your arm?” You smile sweetly, and Jungkook can only offer a weak on in return.
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“Can I ask you something?” 
“Depends. Will I have to run from the government if I answer you honestly?” Yena ponders out loud.
You roll your eyes but shake your head anyway. The two of you were meant to be cooking dinner but you’ve surrendered yourself to Netflix and Yena’s witty live commentary on horrible films you were scrolling through an hour earlier. Though, your head wasn’t quite in it, to begin with; your thoughts drifting to other aspects, ones that you thought too hard for and didn’t necessarily know the answer to.
It was frustrating, the way that you wanted to have a solution for everything but overthought every single case that happens to pass by your mind. 
“No one’s hunting anyone down, your anarchist,” You say, “This is a little … personal.” 
You didn’t have any girl friends prior to Yena, and that was your first mistake. You weren’t the person that actively avoided having girl friends because you thought they were dramatic or overly emotional but purely because you never knew how to befriend women. It was weird—being a woman yet being muddled with your own sense of femininity that suppressed your ability to form meaningful friendships with your women peers.
Throughout most of your childhood and teenaged life, you only had Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. While they were more than enough to keep your memories cheerful and filled with laughter, there were more personal things that you couldn’t quite approach them with. They had each other to confide in their ‘manly’ discussions, small talk that you’d often flush at—but you couldn’t ask them the same things you wanted to.
You knew, that on a fundamental level that your personal things were just … things. It wasn’t that deep, nor did it require a PhD in Gender Studies to fully understand the nuance of periods or apparent ‘girl’ problems; you just needed to listen. But you were timid, and you got embarrassed super easily—so that never boded well whenever you’d want to approach them with a question of your own.
But now, you had Yena—debatably the most open and understanding person you’ve met in your life; and you owed it to yourself, and her—to be honest, to live yourself vicariously in your girl best friends eyes—and ask:
“How do you have sex?”
Granted, there was definitely a smoother way of peeling off the bandaid, but you supposed if you were going to be discussing this one way or another, you’d go big or go home.
“I’m sorry,” She coughs, “What?”
You blink.
“Sorry, I guess I should’ve asked if you were a virgin first …” You mumble.
Yena stares at you with a stupefied expression as she gapes at you.
“Hey, repeat after me: candy, tree and cat.” She grabs you by your shoulders.
“I’m not cerebrally compromised, Yena,” you say dryly.
“Repeat,” She glares.
You huff, shoving her hand off your shoulder.
“Candy, tree and cat. There, happy?” You huff.
She eyes you weirdly as you sigh. 
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes!” You exasperate, “So like … how? Do you just? Penetrate?”
Yena blinks one more time, her eyes trailing to the ceiling as she asks for a higher being to give her strength before she returns her gaze onto your figure.
“Babe, that is literally the unsexiest way to approach sex.” 
“Penetration?” You furrow your brows.
She scrunches her brows, “No.” She gestures to you, “That.”
You scowl.
“I don’t know how to approach sex! That’s why I’m asking you. I literally don’t know who else to approach. If I went to Jimin or Taehyung I’m pretty sure they’d just stare at me and cry. Namjoon is out of the picture because he’d likely approach sex textbook style and I don’t need that level of detail right now. I definitely can’t ask Jungkook because he’s the guy I wanna have sex with. So yeah. I’m here because you’re a woman and the only person I can have a full conversation with without losing my will to live.”
Yena gawks at you, jaw slack as you finish your ramble; ears flushed.
“… you …” She begins, wracking her brain for the words that seem to fail her, “… okay. You know what, the fact that you’re here and putting your big girl pants on and asking me this is a feat in itself so I’m going to just ignore the fact that you said you wanted to have sex with Jungkook.”
You flush, “I was word vomiting—”
“Ah,” She holds her hands up, levelling you with a knowing glare, “If you want honest, you be honest too.”
You slump in your seat, sighing as you nod your head defeatedly.
“Firstly, I’m not a virgin. I could never be a virgin.” Yena declares, “Granted, I’ve slept with three people and two of them were women. But the idiot I lost my virginity to was, unfortunately, of XY chromosomes so … I guess I can answer your questions.”
“I mean … I know how sex works but … approaching it …” You mutter.
“And sex isn’t this groundbreaking act that requires Einstein’s IQ to partake in. It’s both intimate and not, and that’s definitely a personal preference. You can know the semantics of how people have sex, for hets in this case, which is just the classic ol’ penetration method where the penis enters the—”
“Your point?” You exasperate.
“—okay, I got a little carried away. But really, sex isn’t … difficult. It’s scary, I’ll give you that. But you don’t go into your first time thinking you’ll be great at it. Hell, you won’t even like sex that much your first few times unless your partner is a sex demon or something.”
“I mean when Jungkook …” You shudder, “When he … I … you know, did things … it felt …” You fiddle with your fingers. Your ears were undoubtedly on fire, and you were so embarrassed saying these things out loud because it was just so awkward!
“Good? You know I’m not going to judge you for it,” she says pointedly, “That’s what friends are for, right?”
You flush, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment. You knew that Yena would never judge you for something as trivial and as unimportant as your sexual endeavours, but this was still a road you’ve yet to properly navigate yourself.
“I … came,” you wince at your breathy voice, “It felt good. And … he’s experienced, you know? I just don’t want to …”
Yena looks at you inquisitively.
“You don’t want to …?”
You sigh deeply, considering your next words with a soft murmur, “I don’t want to not live up to his expectations, you know?”
She frowns at you, “Jungkook’s made some mistakes but you said it yourself. He’s in love with you,” she says softly, “There’s no pressure to have sex with him just because it’s out in the open now, you know?”
You nibble on your lips.
“It’s … more than just that,” you tell her, “I told him I needed time, and really, I do. But it isn’t because I’m confused. I mean, kind of—but really it’s because I don’t want to walk into something and disappoint him … I’m just … scared.”
Yena holds your hand in hers while offering you a gentle smile.
“It’s valid that you’re scared. But there really isn’t anything that can come out of being scared right now. The two of you worked through an obstacle, and here you are creating another one that doesn’t quite exist yet. Trust me, when the time feels right, it does. And you’ll feel ready. Will you still be scared? Maybe. But it’ll feel like it’s meant to fit within your timeline.”
You nibble on your lips, “Is it bad that I’m overthinking this?” You wince.
Yena shrugs her shoulders, “Like everything else in your life?” She teases.
You whine, shoving at her shoulder playfully where all Yena does is snicker in response. You weren’t quite sure what you were expecting out of the conversation, even if it was vaguely about the ins and outs of sexual exploration. And she was right, you’ll always be afraid of something, whether it’ll benefit you or harm you because that’s what change does. It shifts your comfort zone into a space that may be unfamiliar but necessary.
You lean into Yena’s shoulder, and a wave of overwhelming emotion washes upon you when you look at her. You really didn’t know how you survived a time without Yena in your life. And as if she’s noticed your glassy gaze, she raises an eyebrow at you.
“What are you looking at?”
You grin at her, all teeth and gums on display as you hug onto her arm like a koala.
“I’m just really happy you’re in my life.” You sigh wistfully.
She pauses for one whole second before she snorts.
“Wow, talk about sex once and suddenly you’re in love with me?” She wiggles her eyebrows at you, “Tell Jeon and Kim that you’re mine now.”
You giggle, rolling your eyes.
“They’re not even competing in the same league as you are,” you assure her.
She smiles.
“So … does that mean I don’t need to get you a birthday gift?”
That earns a thwack on her shoulder.
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aminiatureworld · 3 years
Text
Disappearance II
Character: Albedo, gn!reader
Word Count: 2,149
Warnings: None
Premise: In which there is an argument and the reader disappears.
Author’s Note: Idk why I’ve characterized Albedo as a slob twice now. I guess I just think he’s the kind of person to become so engrossed in his research he just, never takes care of himself or his surroundings.
Also this was supposed to be two people but I procrastinated terribly so… here we are haha. Part three tomorrow.
Albedo
It was the third time this week that you had managed to spill his lab notes all over the floor, and frankly Albedo wasn’t sure if he could deal with it any longer.
“You’ve got a lot of papers strewn around,” you said, tone light and joking as you crouched to gather all the papers up.
“You’re the one that keeps bumping into things,” Albedo mumbled, crouching next to you to make sure that you put things back in order.
Seeing that you were putting things together haphazardly he snatched up the papers, frowning slightly as he went through the papers. Honestly, how could you mess up his system so much? As much as Albedo appreciated your interest in his work you were a Knight of Favonius, not a scientist, and as such your visits seemed to cause havoc more than anything else.
“Do you want me to help you with that?” You asked, exasperation creeping into your tone.
“No.”
“Are you sure? You seem, stressed. If you want I could pick up the papers on the tables and organize.”
“Don’t!”
“Albedo?” You leaned back slightly, as if surprised. For some reason that only made the alchemist more irritated.
“If you do that, you’ll just be creating more work for me. I’m very busy right now, I don’t have time to go back and fix your mistakes.”
“Mistakes?”
“It’s already enough that you keep spilling things all over the ground.”
“It’s not my fault that you leave your papers everywhere without even trying to keep them organized.”
“They are organized!”
“Well they certainly don’t look organized to me.”
“You just don’t understand. Besides, I’ve managed not to knock everything over.”
“You know, you’re insufferable when you get like this.”
“I’m not any different than usual.”
“I hope you don’t really think that,” you replied, tone clipped.
Standing up you turned towards the door. Though Albedo made a half-hearted call of your name you didn’t react, simply walking out of the room and slamming the door as hard as possible behind you.
Albedo didn’t even think of you the rest of the afternoon. Anger iced over his slight worry, replacing it with a burning sense of resentment. Your sudden departure stung, and, though it was admittedly childish, Albedo found himself determined not to worry about you.
Besides, you were simply an obstacle to his research at this point. Maybe it was better if you went off to cool your head somewhere, then he could finish up his work. That was what usually happened with other people anyways. Apprentices, clients, the occasional wandering alchemist; they all fluttered around him until he couldn’t stand it and then when they inevitably got fed up he’d finish his work. His relationship with you was still new, and though he couldn’t say that you were the same as all those people in his eyes, he really had no reason to think you would react in a different way.
The sun had gone down long before Albedo finally locked up for the night. It had taken him a good forty minutes to reorganize everything that had fallen, though admittedly most of that time was spent in angry silence. Now as Albedo walked down the streets, still busy with night activity, he wondered what might happen when he got home. He certainly wasn’t ready to apologize, even if his tone was a bit curt his words weren’t wrong; but he couldn’t exactly see you apologizing either. It was bound to be a tense evening. One Albedo was certainly not looking forward too.
All the lights were off in the apartment, something that struck Albedo as odd. Walking towards the kitchen he found a piece of paper crumpled up on the kitchen floor, though when he uncrumpled the paper he was met with eraser marks. Letting out a huff of impatience Albedo went to put some water on the stove. So this is how the evening was going to pass; you presumably at a friend’s house, Albedo in stony silence.
“How petty,” Albedo murmured.
He didn’t expect such a show of emotions from you, having come to the conclusion that you were quite the rational sort. Really, this was all too much. He had been in the right after all, even if he had been a bit cold about it. There was no reason to react in such a way. It was this mindset that carried Albedo through the rest of the evening and off to sleep. After all, it was better than the kernel of doubt that rested in the back of his head, that told him he was the one being callous.
You didn’t show up at the apartment or the lab the next day. Albedo buckled down to work, but by midday the irritation and anger that he’d been holding over were replaced by a deep sense of unease. Hurrying home after work he felt panic shoot through him at the sight of your home empty, nothing suggesting anyone had been there in the time he was at work.
It took all of Albedo’s willpower not to run out the door and go look for you. All the anger and irritation he had felt had been thrown out the window, replaced instead with an intense feeling of worry, and of the realization that his actions might bear actual consequences.
Tossing and turning in bed Albedo stared up at the empty ceiling. He had been certain he was in the right, even this morning. You were clumsy, you had been inconsiderate of his work, you were simply stubborn and petty. Now however he replayed your argument, your fight, over and over again. The more he did so the more he became aware of how harshly he’d acted; the more he wished you would simply appear in front of him so he could apologize. He wanted to go after you, wanted to let you know that he genuinely felt bad. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to do so, to go after you. After all, what if you didn’t want to see him? What if he just made things worse? Once more turning in bed Albedo sighed. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’d see you again. Tomorrow he’d make things better.
There was no sight of you tomorrow either. Albedo stood in his lab in stunned silence, heart hammering in his chest as he contemplated what this could possibly mean. Was this it then? Had he messed up that badly?
Staring around him Albedo noticed all the papers scattered this way and that on the tables and the desks. Seized by a sudden urge he scooped them all up, carrying them over to where he kept his files. A part of him jeered that it was too little too late, but still the alchemist didn’t stop until everything was filed away properly. Turning around to look at his desk he collected the dirty mugs and discarded equipment, putting them in the sink before turning around to pick through the no longer needed papers that still lay sprawled around the room. He didn’t stop for lunch, nor did he go to start back up on the experiment he was currently working on. Instead he kept picking up and putting away and rearranging. It was almost a ritual of some sort, and though it brought little relief, at least it finally brought distraction.
Still that distraction was shattered the minute Albedo stepped outside. The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, and the people of Mondstadt were still wandering around, enjoy the cool summer evening. Staring at the people around him, their eyes filled either with purpose or contentment, Albedo realized he couldn’t go home. He couldn’t face the empty apartment again. He thought that his anger would last longer, that he might go a week before feeling as if he burning from the inside out; but now he knew that that had been an arrogant, if somewhat funny, assumption. Turning away from the familiar path home he climbed up the steps of Mondstadt. He knew where he needed to go.
Walking up to the Knights of Favonius Headquarters Albedo was met with the sight of Eula, arms firmly crossed in front of her, faced even colder than usual. Hurrying over to your higher-up Albedo felt uncertainty bloom in his chest. Someone this seemed to bode ill.
“Eula?”
“Ah, the Head Alchemist. What do you wish to say to me?”
“Have you seen my partner?” Albedo paused, somewhat unwilling to reveal what had happened. “They haven’t been home for days, and I wondered if you knew where they might be staying.”
The look on Eula’s face was one of pure disbelief. “You, you don’t know what happened?” Her face shadowed over and she seemed to pull herself up. “If I were your partner, I would declare eternal vengeance for your idiocy. I don’t know what you’ve been doing Head Alchemist, but while you were off doing whatever it is you do, your partner was languishing underground.”
Albedo froze, unsure if he’d truly heard Eula right. The Knight tended to be quite flowery after all with her words. Perhaps this was just a metaphor he couldn’t understand.
“I see that it still hasn’t gotten through your head what happened.” Eula sighed, relaxing slightly. “I sent them off to monitor a few Fatui members, as it seems a group had made their way out of Dragonspine and into Windwail. While doing so they attempted to hide in a small crack in the mountains, but there was a steep drop after that onto the next shelf. Thankfully Amber had also been ordered to scout there, or else who knows how long it might have took to realize they were stuck. I just got the report from them, thankfully there was no lasting trauma.”
“W-where are they?”
“At home I presume. Aren’t you their partner?” Eula tilted her head. “Really, perhaps she should declare a need for vengeance.” And with that the Spindrift Knight walked into the Headquarters, leaving Albedo reeling on the step, heart thudding as if he’d just run a hundred miles.
Albedo practically fell down the steps of Mondstadt, so desperate was he to find you, to make sure you were okay. Eula had said that there was no lasting trauma, but what that meant Albedo was completely unsure of. Had you broken anything? Had you been deprived of oxygen? These thoughts catapulted through Albedo’s brain, constricting his lungs and plunging him into a roil of incoherent emotions.
The sight of you standing in front of his lab cause Albedo to stop in his tracks. For a moment the alchemist was overwhelmed by his emotions, switching between dizzying euphoria, terrible guilt, and unending worry. He took a step forward, then another, walking slowly down the stairs, as if in fear that you might disappear or turn away. However instead of turning away when he reached the end of the steps and made his way towards the fountain you let out a sort of shudder, running towards him and throwing your arms around his neck. Albedo wrapped his arms around you in turn, feeling slightly overwhelmed from the sudden proximity, the sudden feeling of once more being able to feel your skin against his. Letting his head drop onto your shoulder Albedo breathed in deeply, centering himself with your presence, grounding himself in the knowledge that the agony of the previous days was finally over.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled against your shoulder.
“For what?” You whispered back.
“For not listening to you, for blaming you, for being cruel.”
“I’m also sorry.”
“Why? I was in the wrong.”
“Well, I just went off without telling you where I was going. I was going to write a note, but I was so angry I erased it.” You tightened your grasp around Albedo. “I wish I could’ve seen into the future. I never would have done something like that.”
“I don’t care about that,” Albedo ran small circles around the small of your back. “I’m sorry.”
“You already said that.”
“No. I’m sorry for not being there, for not being able to help you; for doing nothing while you…” he stopped, unable to finish the sentence.
Pulling back for a moment you cupped Albedo’s face in your palms, studying his expression. Finally you bent over to press a soft kiss to his lips.
“I forgive you,” you whispered, breath mingling with his.
Albedo leaned into to kiss you once more, finding that his emotions were blocking out any words he might have been able to say. Everything seemed so surreal, as if he’d been stuck in some awful nightmare that only now faded away. And yet this wasn’t a nightmare, this was reality; and Albedo would have to remember that.
For now though, he only wanted to wipe all the fear and conflict away.
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noyaism · 3 years
Text
No Manners
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Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 5k
Warnings: enemies/rivals to lovers, public sex, hate sex, heavy degrading, edging, choking, overstim, teasing, size kink, power dynamics, sir!Tsukki, dacryphilia, humiliation, spanking, slapping, exhibitionism, sadism, masochism, dumbification, creampie, this shit is pure filth (let me know if I missed any warnings!)
Song Inspo: No Manners - Superm
If there was anything you prided yourself on, it was being the smartest person in any given room you walked into. School had always come so easily to you, no subject too hard, no concept you wouldn't understand. That was, until you got to college. University was a beast unto its own, and it showed you that maybe the genius you had always believed you possessed could indeed be threatened. 
While you found yourself at the top at almost every single class you took, your economics class was your Achilles heel. It irked you how the information just didn’t seem to mesh with you. It made you feel so inferior, and that wasn’t something you were used to. It also wasn’t something Tsukishima Kei was used to, however, thanks to you he was feeling a new sense of inferiority that was completely foreign to him. He, like you, was used to being at the top of his class, nobody coming close to him academically. Then, he got to university, and unfortunately for him you two shared a major, and took the exact same classes. It was odd enough in the first semester, and when it ended he was so glad to finally get away from you, and to regain his status.
Then the second semester came and once again, you both signed up for the exact same classes. This time was different, though, because finally, Tsukishima held something over you; you couldn’t understand economics to save your life, and it came to Tsukishima as easily as everything else did. 
Understandably, the two of you had developed a bit of a rivalry. It would come around every so often that Tsukki did better than you on a test, scored higher in a lab, and it drove you insane how he would rub it in, so when you did better than him, you did the same. The two of you were starting to hate each other’s guts. However, you were on the verge of failing your economics class, and there wasn’t going to be anyone better to help you study than Tsukishima. When you asked him to help you study he straight up laughed in your face, entertained by the fact you were actually coming to him for help. It was such a stroke to his ego, he couldn’t possibly say no. 
You two scheduled a study session for the following Friday evening. You met in one of the study rooms up on the third floor around five, intending to stay for a couple hours. Tsukishima had arrived a little early, as you walked in you saw him with his notebook and laptop out on the table, writing down some notes. You took a seat next to him, getting yourself ready to begin. As he attempted to explain all these concepts to you; rambling on about monopolies and price ceilings and deficits, none of it was clicking. You asked him to explain things time and time again, and he was getting visibly irritated the more you seemed to not be getting things.
“You agreed to help me study, Tsukishima. You can't go on and complain now that I don’t get it, you knew I didn't.”
“Yeah, I got that part, but I wasn’t expecting you to be this utterly dense.” 
You folded your arms across your chest, letting out a small huff under your breath.
“You're such a dick.” You muttered, not thinking much of the remark. It was an unequivocal fact that anyone who ever came in contact with him had to know, which you yourself already knew quite well, but you hadn't expected him to be this bad personally. You thought since you were undoubtedly better at him in any other subject you would at least be spared of his ill mannered remarks, but it seemed to be the opposite; he'd get on you because you were so much better at him in everything else. It was the one thing he held over you, and he was going to make the absolute most of it. 
“What did you call me?” He asked, snapping his head in your direction. 
“I called you a dick, because you are. I get it, okay? I don’t understand the material, it’s above my intelligence level, I’m the dumbest bitch in the world. Cool, fine, awesome. If tutoring me is that much of a pain I’ll just go, alright? Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
Utterly fed up, you tossed all of your things into your backpack and got up from your seat, starting to storm away. Tsukishima watched you as you went for the door, only momentarily, before getting up and following behind you. You barely got the door unlocked and open before a forceful push of a hand from above shut it, and you turned and looked up at the man, confused as to what it was he was doing.
“We aren’t done studying.”
“Yes we are. I can’t take your shit anymore, I’m done.”
“No, we’re gonna stay here and work on this until you get it,” He lowered himself down to make more direct eye contact with you.
“Got me?” He finished, once the two of you were level. You let out a chuckle, shaking your head a bit. This situation was unbelievable, and he was totally impossible. You weren’t sure how much clearer you could possibly get, but you had no problem reiterating yourself.
“No, I don’t. Makes sense that I don’t, right? ‘Cuz I’m ‘utterly dense’, as you said.”
“And incredibly mouthy, apparently.”
“Only when dealing with assholes like you.” Tsukishima let out a chuckle of his own after that line, straightening himself up and looking down on you once again. You hated when he did that, but it wasn’t like he had much choice, he towered over your much smaller frame. It personified your current situation almost too well. 
“You know, someone should put little girls like you in their place.” He fairly quickly retorted.
“And someone should knock tall elitists like you down a peg.” You scoffed. 
“I’d love to see you try.” Tsukishima took a couple steps back from you after speaking, as if to quite literally challenge you to do something. You weren’t a violent person to say the least, but at that moment you would’ve paid good money to punch the man before you in the face, and it seemed you were going to get the opportunity for free. How could you possibly pass that up?
You dropped your backpack onto the floor, lurching forward at Tsukishima before it even hit the floor. To your utter surprise he caught you before you got too close, his hand wrapped around your neck. It was nowhere near a tight grip, but it left you breathless, and forced you to look up at the blonde. There was this smirk on his face, like you had done exactly what he wanted you to, like he now had you in the palm of his hand. The look in his eye was so devilish, nobody had ever looked at you like that. You almost didn’t know what to make of it, almost.
“Now now, dumb little whores like you don’t get to touch me.” The pure filth that fell from his lips confirmed exactly what you rationalized from his gaze. It was all you needed.
“Fuck me, now.”
Tsukishima needed no further instruction, moving his hand off your throat and down to your thigh, pulling your leg up and prompting you to wrap yourself around him. He caught you midway through your small jump, and in an instant your lips crashed together. You couldn’t shake just how angry he made you, and he couldn’t shake how sexy you looked when you were mad. That little body of yours held so much aggression in it, and since he was more than willing to let out the beast in you, Tsukki was just as willing to tame it.
In fact, he would take great pleasure in doing so.
Tsukki walked back over to the table you two were sat at, placing you down onto the cold, manicured wood. The exchange of your lips was filled to the brim in the most carnal, lustful intent. The two of you fought for dominance with it, neither of you having even the slightest intention of backing down. Tsukishima was already more than frustrated with you, and your attempts to gain control of the situation weren't helping. 
With a swift move he pulled away from the kiss and brought a hand around your neck once again, this time giving it a fairly decent grip. His face looked so calm, like this was nothing he hadn't done before, but his actions told a completely different story. How he managed to keep his expression so composed while taking full control of you made a shiver run down your spine, and the heat between your thighs grow exponentially. 
“Listen; I’m the one in charge here, y/n. What makes you think a tiny, powerless slut like you could ever even attempt to control someone so much bigger, so much stronger than them, hm?” 
“I-I dunno…” You stuttered out, much to Tsukishima’s liking. 
“You don’t know, that's exactly what I thought. Well then, let me teach you where your place is.” While his left hand maintained its place around your throat, his right hand snaked up your thigh and under your skirt, his fingers ghosting over your clothed sex. The faint contact made you whine, you couldn't stand how badly you needed him to touch you. Your eyes pleaded for him to do something, and he basked in the glory of making you so weak so quickly. He then obliged, rubbing small, slow circles onto your clit.
“Your place is right here; being dominated by me. You will feel pleasure only when I allow you to. You will cum only when I allow you to. You will be obedient, and you’ll love every second of it. Am I understood?” 
You nodded your head with what free range of motion you had, your hips bucking in the direction of his fingers, trying to gain more pleasure in the only way you currently could. 
“Use your words, and address me only as sir.” He instructed, moving his fingers away from you. It was bad enough his moves were teasing at best, but denying you of any contact completely was infinitely worse.
“Yes, sir. I understand.” 
Tsukishima let go of your throat, using both hands to undress you, leaving you in nothing but your panties, which were horribly stained with your eagerness. It stroked his ego immensely, looking at the girl who plagued his mind, who made him feel so inferior so many times, naked in front of him, so ready to be ravaged by him. So exposed, so pathetic, but so undeniably sexy. 
He pulled up a chair, taking a seat in between your legs. His fingers danced over the skin of your inner thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. You felt so needy all you could do was whine, not a single beg or plead coming from you. He hooked a finger onto the side of your panties, pulling them over to get a good look at you. Your pussy glistened under the fluorescent lights, coated in wetness you had never experienced before. It was like a work of art for Tsukki, who took a minute to admire the piece before he pulled your underwear off of you entirely. 
He took his left thumb and ran it down the length of your sex, dipping between your folds before coming back up to your clit, finally starting to please you again. A moan slipped from between your lips, filling the quiet of the room. Tsukishima brought two fingers from his opposite hand up to your lips, and without needing instruction you allowed them entry. Your tongue swirled around his digits, a slight hum ringing from your throat as your oral fixation was satisfied. 
His fingers left your mouth with a small pop, and they were brought down to your core. They prodded at your entrance, teasing you by the anticipation of entry. You wanted it, wanted it so bad it was much more a need, and at that point you weren’t too proud to beg for it. Just as your lips parted Tsukishima pushed them into you, a whine coming from you instead. You fell back onto the table, your back arching off the wood as his fingers worked wonders unknown on you. With an upward curl he brushed up against your g-spot, your hips bucking upward in response. The pads of his fingers massaged the rough patch of flesh momentarily, making your legs shake as helpless little curses fell from your lips.
As he began pumping his fingers again he also sped up the rate at which his thumb circled your clit, and it became quite clear to Tsukki that your orgasm was approaching, and was doing so fast. You could feel the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter, it was almost unbearable. You heard his voice say something, but your head was spinning you could barely make it out.
“Answer me, slut. I’m not repeating myself.” Was all you could make out, but considering you didn’t know the question, it was an impossible feat. Just as your orgasm was about to arrive Tsukishima removed his fingers from you, his thumb ceased all movement, and you were left with a ruined orgasm and your hips bucking into the air.
“You’re not cumming until you can answer one of my questions correctly. That should be good enough incentive for a stupid, needy little bitch like you, right?” You propped yourself up on your arms, looking at Tsukishima in utter bewilderment. You couldn’t believe what he was saying, or that he was going to make you answer questions in order to cum, but you had to admit he wasn’t wrong. It was a pretty good incentive.
“Y-yes sir.” 
With a quick smirk Tsukki sank his head down between your thighs, his tongue dipping into your pussy, savoring your delectably sweet taste. His his hands held the backs of your thighs, giving himself unrestricted access to your sex. His tongue flicked over your clit every so often before lapping up your juices again, until he finally gave the bud uninterrupted attention. His lips latched around it, starting to suck as his fingers entered you once more. Your back arched sharply, and your hands moved to tangle into his hair, tugging on the blonde strands. Before you could even process what it was you had done, Tsukishima was hovering above you, slapping your cheek before taking a rough hold of your chin.
“I told you not to touch me, did I not?” You nodded your head frantically,
“You d-did, sir. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, you will be. Off the table.” 
You followed your instructions, and as soon as your feet hit the ground Tsukishima pulled you onto your knees, and held your chin in his hand once again, forcing you to look up at him.
“I don't think I need to tell you what to do here, do I?” You shook your head lightly, your eyes full of wonder as you looked at him. 
“No, sir.”
“Good, then show me that you're actually good at something.”
You shimmied in between Tsukishima’s legs, frantic hands fiddling with his belt as you tried to get his pants off as quickly as possible. You didn't know what was causing you to be so eager, but something in you urged you to act as quickly as possible. As you pulled his pants and boxers down his erection sprang free, the pure size of him catching you off guard. You were no inexperienced woman, this wasn't your first time seeing a penis, but you had yet to deal with anyone of his size. It was a bit intimidating, if you were to be completely honest. 
As you were told, you weren't allowed to actually touch him. You presumed if you used your hands at all it wasn't going to end well for you, but to that you could fairly easily oldige. You licked a long stripe from the base of his length up to his tip, your tongue pressing along a vein that ran that same course. You circled his tip before sucking on it, letting out a satisfied moan around him as his precum leaked out onto your tastebuds. 
You started to take him further into your mouth, each bob of your head adding another inch until you had all of him. Your eyes watered as you felt him in the back of your throat, and you gasped as you came up for air. Tsukishima looked down at you, smirking as he saw a tear run down your cheek.
“You should do more of that.”
“More of what?” You asked, tilting your head in confusion.
“Crying for me.” 
Tsukki took hold of your hair, forcing his cock into your mouth and once again making you take the entirety of him. He held you there, letting out a groan as you choked around him. He brought you up for air and marveled at the tears running down your face, and the desperate look in your eyes. It was art for him and him alone to scrutinize, and he was most certainly a fan of the piece. Before you could fully focus your attention he was in your mouth again, his hips pushing up off the chair as he fucked your face. You gagged around his length, the sounds remarkably gratifying for Tsukishima to hear. 
He brought you back up for air one final time, holding your head up so the two of you made eye contact. He chuckled at you, admiring your current state. Spit dribbled from the sides of your mouth, tears spilled out of your eyes, and you were perilously trying to catch your breath.
“Messy little girl. You're looking more and more like the stupid little slut I've always known you are. Cmon, say it for me, tell me you're a stupid little slut.” 
As if his words weren't degrading enough, this request was surely the icing on the cake, the cherry on top of the sundae. He had you exactly where he wanted you, powerless and obedient. Just a small little toy for him to play with how he pleased. He wasn't satisfied with your lack of obedience, and slapped your cheek once again, roughly grabbing your face after.
“I wasn't giving you an option. Say it.” He demanded.
“I-I’m a stupid little slut.” You complied, your voice barely above a whisper.
“I can't fucking hear you.”
“I’m a stupid little slut!” You repeated, much louder this time. Tsukishima let out a satisfied chuckle, nodding his head. 
“That's right, and who's stupid little slut are you?” 
“Y-your stupid little slut, sir.”
“That’s right.”
Tsukishima pulled you up off the floor, laying you out on the table. He pulled his shirt off, your eyes combing over every little detail of him. You knew on top of being a student he played volleyball, so he had to be fairly muscular, but you weren't expecting what you got. He had a body even Odysseus would be jealous of, making you the ever loyal Penelope.
Tsukki lubed himself up with your wetness, as you were far from falling short of it. No man was ever this rough with you, ever this dominant. It turned you on more than you would like to admit, but there was no need to with Tsukishima. He could tell from the look in your eyes, the tone of your voice, the way your hips slightly bucked as you sucked him off. 
Without warning his tip began to prod at your entrance before starting to slip in. It was no easy feat, though. You were incredibly tight, and even then you hadn't taken anything even close to Tsukishima’s size. He took things slow, watching as every inch of him stretched you further. You whimpered at the sensation, it was intoxicating beyond what your words could even describe. A groan slipped between his lips as he bottomed out, light curses following it. The way you tightened around him made it so hard for him to control himself, but he knew you needed a moment, and he wasn't trying to hurt you.
Not at the moment, at least.
You nodded your head lightly as you felt adjusted, giving him free reign over your body once again. Tsukki grabbed your hands, pinning them above your head before he began to move. He slowly started to pull out, and with a sudden snap you were once again taking all of him, a soft scream coming from you. He did this a couple times, watching how your body jolted. Feeling how your thighs tensed up next to him. Each of these thrusts hit your cervix, sending you reeling each time. 
He picked up the pace, starting to pound into you at a relentless pace. You wrapped your legs around his waist, keeping him close and forcing him to go as deep in you as possible. Tsukishima brought one of his hands down to wrap around your neck, the other still holding your wrists in place. He gave the sides of your neck a squeeze, the lack of circulation rushing toward you just as he hit you with a particularly hard thrust. A light scream fell from your lips, the pleasure in that moment so crazily overwhelming. This routine continued; harder thrusts while he actively choked you, very slightly less hard ones as he gave you a moment to breathe correctly, all the while denying you of your high.
“You better not cum, slut.” He warned as he felt you once again starting to get just a bit too tight around him.
“W-wanna cum....so bad.” You weakly replied, tears welling in your eyes as you spoke. Once again, just as you were on the precipice of release, Tsukishima denied you again, pulling out and leaving you empty. Tears fell from your eyes as you uselessly whimpered and protested, all of it only earning you another slap to your cheek.
“Really thought I’d let you, huh? Dumb little bitch.” He said as he turned you over onto your stomach. He filled you up again, but before he moved any further he began raining spank after spank onto your ass. You could only assume it was punishment, but it felt far from it. The pain was nothing but masochistic pleasure for you, and sadistic pleasure for him. Each stung more than the last, and thus each felt even better than the last.
Your senses were so overloaded as he started to thrust into you again that your brain had turned to utter mush. Coherent thought was so far behind you it was like it was never something you could’ve done in the first place. The only thing you could process was pleasure, and to enhance it you lifted one of your legs back up onto the table, the other continuing to stay hanging over to keep yourself up. This new angle let Tsukishima hit sinfully deep in you once again, adding to the utter brainrot you were experiencing. Words no longer were an option for you, only whines and whimpers, a stray profanity at the very best.
Tsukishima grabbed a fistful of your hair, picking your head up off the table. He made you look in the direction of the door, bending down to speak into your ear.
“Look, you left the door unlocked. Someone could come in at any moment and watch you getting fucked like the little whore you are. But I’m sure you'd like it if someone saw us, wouldn't you?” 
You couldn't bring yourself to form any sort of coherent response, and Tsukki very well knew that. He chuckled at your attempt to reply, which was just a rhythmic whine as if you were trying to get some words out.  
“You're not very quiet, either. Stupid sluts like you like having everyone know how good they feel, don't they? I’m sure someone's come by to spy in, hearing how utterly pathetic you sound.” 
His words only made you whine and whimper more, your head in an absolute daze from the sheer amount of pleasure you felt. Tsukki let go of your hair and your head fell down, and you got a good look at yourself in the mirrored wood table. Your mouth was hanging open, your hair a tangled mess and drool slipping from the corner of your parted lips. He had fucked you so past dumb you didn't even know you could be this far gone, and all the while you still had no clue if you would be allowed to cum.
Your hips pushed back against his, meeting every one of his thrusts and forcing him deeper. Each time he re-entered his tip made quick contact with your cervix, the repeated feeling driving you absolutely crazy. Your eyes rolled back as you let yourself fall onto the wood once again. You took everything he gave you, all the while holding your orgasm back. Each time he felt you were a little too close he pulled out, you couldn't even count how many times you'd been denied release, you were sure the number was shameful. You could tell this was getting harder on Tsukishima as well, the twitching and pulsating of his cock inside you letting you know he was having trouble holding back as well. 
You saw no use in begging at this point, and you couldn't have mustered the words for it even if you wanted to. You simply whined and whimpered with every thrust, your body jolting forward each time. Tsukki held on tight to your hips, keeping you in place as he pounded mercilessly into you. In your daze all your senses had dulled, but you could hear just enough for Tsukishima's next four words to be heard, almost as clear as day. 
“Cum. Do it now.” 
In an instant you finally let yourself topple over the edge. Your voice was so hoarse you couldn't scream, rather you let out something between an incredibly loud moan and a whimper, your back arching and your legs shaking vigorously. Tears spilled from your eyes as your body was overrun by an orgasm unlike any other you had experienced. The feeling was only intensified by Tsukishima cumming inside you, depositing a sizable load inside of you. Your vision was blurry and a little white around the edges, and your chest heaved as you let out shallow breaths. Soreness set into your body as you took time to regain yourself, almost ten minutes passing before either of you even thought to move. 
Tsukki pulled out of you slowly, admiring how fucked out you looked, your small body sprawled out on the table. He figured moving would be hard for you, so he gently let your leg down and peeled you off the table, sitting down in the chair behind him and sitting you on his lap. Your head fell on his shoulder, your eyes still a little glazed over, but for the most part it seemed you had come to. 
“Are you feeling okay?” You nodded your head lightly, your breath finally leveling out. Your throat was pretty scratchy, and you knew your voice would be raspy, so you just didn't bother speaking yet.
“What have you learned today, then?” 
“A good couple things.” You croaked out, wiping a stray tear from your cheek. 
“Oh really? Enlighten me.”
“Well, I learned that economics is just something I'm never really going to understand. I also learned that you are a complete and utter asshole, even worse than I thought. Finally, I learned that you are a way more experienced man than I thought you were, and maybe I don't hate you as much as I was letting on.” 
Tsukishima laughed out lightly, giving you a bit of an approving nod.
“Good, I’m glad I at least taught you something. Maybe not what I originally intended, but learning is learning. I think with a couple more study sessions you’ll start to understand the econ material, though.” 
You didn't say this out loud, but the thought of getting to spend some more alone time with Tsukishima actually wasn't the most terrible thought in the world. It seemed clear enough to you that the resentment between you two was clearly something much, much different than that, and so you were open to the thought of exploring what it actually was. Maybe not in as much of an erotic way as you just had next time. Not that you would've minded if it escalated to that point. 
Although, you thought, if Tsukki was going to fuck you like that every time, brainrot from class material was going to be the least of your worries. 
The both of you made yourselves presentable again, packing up all your belongings and leaving the room clean before walking out, which you did fairly slowly due to how sore your legs were. You both walked through the library, which was overwhelmingly empty besides a few staff members working hard at hardly working. It was to be expected; it was a Friday night and you were the only two in the world who'd pick studying over any other activity. You stopped just outside the entrance, turning to your side and giving Tsukishima a wave.
“I guess I’ll catch you later then, Tsukishima.” 
“Oh, so no thank you for helping you study? I guess the one thing I didn't teach you was manners, huh y/n?” You chuckled at his comment, shaking your head a bit.
“Guess you didn’t. It’ll have to wait until next time.” You turned on your heel and started in the direction of the train. Before you could get far Tsukki grabbed your arm and pulled you back over to him, holding your chin so softly with his other hand, the action so outrageously condescending.
“Oh no, I’ll gladly teach you right now.”
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whimsicallyreading · 3 years
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“I just realized I’m desperately in love with you-“
Prompt Day One for Rowaelin Month
~
"Rowan, take a picture of that one. It's so cute." Aelin fawns quietly.
Rowan gives a long-suffering sigh. "There are a thousand of them here. Do you have to pester me into taking a picture of every seal pup we come across?"
"Her name is Fleetfoot, and yes. Isn't that the whole reason we are here?" Aelin looks at him equally annoyed, a strand of gold spun hair freeing itself from beneath her parka.
"I'm here to study the behavioral patterns of tiger seals and orcas in a rapidly shifting environment. You are here to keep our equipment functioning. If you keep talking, neither of us will finish our jobs and escape from this wasteland." Rowan switches the lens of his camera to focus on two male seals who were squaring up with each other in the distance.
Rowan nearly threw his camera over the boat and jumped off into the coastal waters of Argentina when he realized who had been assigned to assist him on this expedition.
He'd insisted that only he and one other make the trek across the Antarctic. Insisting a large group could impede the quality of his research. When they agreed, Rowan thought they would send him with Lorcan or Brullo. Both were accomplished survivalists and scholars—valuable additions to any team.
Instead, it was Aelin Ashryvver who waited for him at the dock. The most annoying newbie on his floor. Dorian insisted that her knowledge of mechanical engineering would make her invaluable.
So far, she was just a verifiable pain in his ass.
She sat around bored as Rowan spent the day writing notes and snapping photos. Occasionally she helped him set up microphones. On one instance, she fixed their ATV. It was the first and only time he'd found her truly useful.
Rowan couldn't wait to go home.
"Alright, we have the cameras positioned. We should head back to the base. The temps are dropping. We need to warm up and eat."
Aelin nods quietly, she would never admit it, but the severe temperatures are taking a toll on her. It was amazing how important something like fat is in a frigid environment. Rowan is naturally covered in layers of dense muscle. While Aelin is fit herself, she's still small and the first to feel the effects of persistent cold.
Watching the seals, she occasionally found herself jealous of their thick layers of blubber that kept them comfortable. She should have carb-loaded before they set sail.
They hop on the snow ski and traverse quickly over the powderlike substance.
~~~
When they reach the Terresen South Pole station and ditch their coats, they fall to the floor in a cascade of flurries. Rowan's spine straightens for the first time that day. Their coats were dense. With the additional weight of all of the equipment he carried, there was a perpetual bend in his spine.
It was a huge relief to be inside a climate-controlled building—light layers, freedom movement, and feeling in all of his extremities. Tossing that coat off was the pinnacle of his daily routine on this mission.
That is until he realized it was freezing.
Walking over to a light switch with urgency, he flicks it a few times. Nothing happens. Anxiety wells in his gut, and he hits the wall a couple of times before flipping the switch again.
"Shit," Rowan hisses.
"The power is out," Aelin's eyes widen with the realization. "That's not good."
"I thought I was the scientist, but look at you stating the obvious," Rowan growls as he shrugs his jacket back on. It wasn't nearly as frigid inside the insulated building as it was outside, but it was still bitterly cold. Keeping warm would be their first step in survival. Without heat, shit could hit the fan for them very quickly. Thankfully their satellite phones should still be functioning; he'd charged the battery the day before. There should be enough juice in the phones to send out a mayday call even without power.
Aelin doesn't put on her jacket. Instead, she heads in the direction of the lockers with a look of determination plastered on her face. It was a look he'd slowly begun to grow familiar with, mainly when Rowan was holding a ration packet she wanted. It made him uneasy.
"Where are you going?" Rowan calls after her, picking up her jacket. He wouldn't be held responsible for his younger, female partner freezing to death. HR at the University would have his head on a stick if she died on his watch.
He follows Aelin to her locker, where she's already sliding a grey jumpsuit over her clothes.
"I can fix the engines," Aelin pulls her zipper up. The jumpsuit covered head-to-toe, but they weren't nearly as warm as their snow gear. He could already see a slight blue-ish tint to her lips. "They probably just stalled. All I need to do is go down, diagnose the problem, and fix it. Easy as pie."
Ignoring the massive oversimplification of their situation, knowing it was a lost cause, he focuses on the immediate problem. "You need to keep your jacket on," Rowan thrusts the article of clothing at her. Her color was concerning him, and the longer she went without the thermal garment, the higher his stress became.
Aelin gives him a long-suffering look, all too similar to the one he gives her. "And get my hood or a sleeve caught in one of those beasts? Those machines are massive. Getting snagged could rip my arm off or kill me. It's like you don't even have a master's in engineering and a spotless safety record," she smiles at Rowan's scowling face. "Oh wait, that's me. Let me do my job, Dr. Whitethorn."
Before Rowan could argue, Aelin was gone down the stairwell towards the engines.
Dragging a frustrated hand through his hair, he tosses her jacket on the floor. His time is probably better spent getting through to their mission handlers on the satellite phones anyway.
~~~
Two hours later, Rowan has long finished his call with Dorian.
Their expedition leader had asked if they wanted a recovery team sent out to them, but Rowan hesitated. He was on the mission of a lifetime. He'd spent years waiting for approval to research at the southernmost tip of the world. It would be a devastating blow to his career and his pride for it to be cut short. The selfish part of him wanted to stay. The rationale, reasonable part of him was aching to stay the full duration of the expedition.
"You know, Dr. Whitethorn," Dorian spoke carefully. "There is a reason we chose Aelin to accompany you. She may be green and lacking a doctorate, but she's a miracle worker at what she does."
"Are you asking me to put my life in the newbie's hands?" Rowan asked without his standard vitriol. The situation and the cold had left him with no energy to be spiteful. He'd heard talk of her capabilities amongst the guys, and he'd seen a fraction of it when their snowmobile broke down. Rowan thinks back to the look on her face when she'd gone down the stairs. The steely determination of a warrior marching off to do battle.
Dorian laughs as if there was something funny about two of his most stubborn colleagues getting stranded in the south pole by themselves. "I'm not asking you to do anything. It's your call."
Rowan closes his eyes and contemplates their options. His head told him they should call the extraction team before they were nothing but frozen corpses. Yet, his heart didn't want to leave so soon. There was still so much work left to do.
Could he rely on Aelin?
"We will stay for now. Expect a call in twenty-four hours with a progress update." Rowan disconnected the transmission without any of the standard formalities.
After the fruitless call, he checks their food supply. Rowan scans the shelves, comfortable they wouldn't go hungry any time soon. Their only concern would be keeping all their shit from freezing, including their water. Rowan triple checks that everything is insulated, sealed, and stored away before moving on to other essentials, like batteries.
Another hour passes as he takes inventory, and Rowan is starting to feel the cold more than before. His nailbeds slowly shift from blue to white beneath his thick gloves, and he can't control the slight quaking spreading up his limbs.
When Rowan hears the doorway to the stairwell creak, he goes to check in with Aelin on her progress.
What he finds when he opens the locker room door sends his heart to his throat.
Aelin's hands loosely grip the zipper of her jumpsuit as she weakly attempts to free herself. Her face is a ghostly white, and her movements sluggish.
If she weren't moving, he'd have thought she was already frozen.
"Aelin, are you good? Talk to me." Rowan rushes to her and helps Aelin step out from the jumpsuit.
"I fixed the engine," Aelin coughs into the crook of her arm, her voice scratchy from the cool air. "It will be a couple of hours before they can catch up and heat the building."
Rowan rips off a glove and holds a bare hand to her cheek. Aelin's skin is freezing to the touch, even to his own icy hands. He notes that she isn't trembling the same way he is. It's not a good sign, the biologist in him notes. He knows it's her body growing too weak to keep itself warm.
"Sit down. You're freezing," Rowan helps her slide to the floor and looks at the discarded jacket that's still lying there. It won't warm her quick enough.
"Rowan?" Aelin speaks from her slightly slumped position.
Rowan is pacing, trying to think. They don't have a means of warming water for a bath. Laying next to the generators is too risky.
"Rowan," Aelin murmurs, her eyes drooping. "I can't feel my feet."
Rowan looks at her, and for a moment, she looks like an ice princess. Her blond hair is slipping from its braid and coiling across her colorless face. The cerulean blue of her eyes was the brightest color he now saw regularly beside the southern lights. They stood out even more starkly now.
It was all wrong.
"It's going to be alright, Aelin. You said the power is back on?" Rowan lifts her into his arms, her freezing nose burrowing into the crook of his neck.
"Yeah," she rasps against his shoulder. "But it will take a while for the building to heat."
"We don't need the whole building to heat. Do you trust me?" Rowan trots down the hall, careful not to bump her against the narrow doorframes.
She mumbles something incoherent into his shirt. "I trust you."
Rowan is thankful that the cold keeps the flush from his face. He reaches the desired room and fiddles with the control panel on the wall. A wave of relief hits him as the room behind the heavy door audibly hums to life.
"Okay, here we go." He says more to himself than Aelin. Rowan ditches the jacket and pulls his long-sleeved tee over his head. The buttons of his pants are next, leaving him in only his boxers.
Turning around, Aelin looks weary but not surprised. "Nice abs."
"Thanks," He says and kneels next to her, eyes searching her face for permission.
Aelin dips her head, "I'm not shy, Whitethorn. Don't fret."
Rowan helps Aelin maneuver her stiff limbs out of her garments until she is left in nothing but her bra and panties. Her face is pained as even more of her is exposed to the cold.
"Hurts," Aelin grits through her teeth, and Rowan gathers her up again. The icy room is like barbs against his exposed skin, but he's not in a position to complain.
The minute he carries her into the balmy air of the sauna, Aelin flinches. "Oh, that smarts."
"I know. It's going to suck for a bit while your blood recirculates." Rowan consoles softly, knowing he would also feel the cramping as they got their blood moving.
Drastic temperatures changes weren't the ideal way to warm up, but they'd spent far too long in the cold. He needed to get Aelin shivering again. It was the body's natural defense against the cold, and when a person could no longer shiver, it meant they were dipping into the realm of hypothermia.
The sauna was an added addition for the comfort of the researchers who visited the Southern base. It was a great tool to warm people after spending hours in the harsh climate. He'd heard tales of it from colleagues who'd visited the base before but hadn't yet saught to use it himself. Rowan was too focused on the mission. It hadn't carried any appeal for him until this moment, and now he was beyond grateful for its existence.
Rowan sits on the floor instead of the bench so that Aelin can curl up comfortably in his lap. Skin-to-skin contact was one of the best ways to help a person regulate their body temperature. He soothes a calloused hand over the length of her arm, trying to spread what remained of his warmth to her skin.
Aelin's cheek rests against his chest, and Rowan uses one hand to free her hair from its braid. The curtain of gold fans across her back, and he has to resist the urge to run his fingers through its waves.
He'd noticed how beautiful she was the day they first met at the university. Out of respect, he'd immediately repressed those thoughts. They were professionals, and Rowan wasn't about to ruin his reputation fawning over the new, young blonde on their floor.
But with her laying half-naked in his lap, it was hard to disregard how pretty she was. It wasn't even just her appearance. The girl was magnetic in every way. People paid attention when she walked in, and she claimed the lion's share of air in the room.
Fenrys and Conall flirted with her remorselessly. It secretly irked him. Rowan had long since memorized the way she laughed and how she'd smile as she shoed them away. It was all good-natured fun for them, but it always made Rowan irrationally angry. The time she'd showed up at the annual Christmas party in a green velvet dress with an open back nearly left his brain on the floor. His eyes had raked the smooth plains of skin, only turning away when she'd tried to catch his eye.
If he'd been paying attention, he would have seen her look of disappointment.
Rowan had written it off as an infatuation—a natural response to seeing an attractive woman. The scientist in him wanted to boil it down to chemistry and hormones. Cold facts that could diagnose the way he felt every time he laid eyes on her. Yet, as Rowan laid there with a hurting Aelin in his arms, he began to wonder if there was something more.
Her pain was making his chest physically ache.
A pair of arms snaked around his waist, and his body jerked. Aelin looks up at him sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm just really comfortable."
Rowan relaxes, "It's fine."
The steam in the room is slowly building. Rowan can feel the cramping beginning in his legs. Aelin's weight on his thighs was not helping the slightest, but there was no way in hell he'd move her.  
"My body is aching," Aelin says lightly, but he can hear the strain in her voice and feel a slight tremble running through her.
"That's good. Can you feel your feet?" Rowan can no longer resist, and her hair parts between his fingers like strands of gold silk.
Aelin tightens her arms around him, "Yeah. A bit. I didn't realize how numb they got until I took off my boots."
There's a slight tickle at his back, Aelin's finger tracing a pattern against his skin. A flush of warmth rushes through him, not from the sauna.
He's in unending deep shit.
"Aelin," his voice wavers uncharacteristically. "Do you have a boyfriend?"
The fingers on his back continue making their delicate patterns. "No."
"Aelin?" He asks again, but she cuts him off with a groan.
"Stop asking me questions and just kiss me," Aelin grips the back of his head and pulls his lips down to her's.
An inferno blooms inside his soul.
Aelin could never be a winter queen. She was the raging embodiment of summer. A burning ember he'd carried from the north into this land of ice. As his lips move against hers, he swears his body is lit ablaze, and when Rowan opens his eyes, he's delighted at the flush he finds unfurling across her cheeks.
"It's suddenly a lot warmer." Aelin laughs, looking more lively even as her body starts to quake from the warmth finally reaching her.
He kisses her cheek and tilts her ear towards his lips, "Aelin?"
"Another question?" Aelin's smile curls into something feline. "Is this that scientific curiosity the university is always going on about?"
"I just realized I'm desperately in love with you,"
Rowan lets the truth fall from his lips. It was just the two of them. They were the only human souls in this far corner of the earth. There was no one to stop him as he finally lets the emotions he'd been repressing until the moment Aelin was in danger wash over him.
"That's not a question," Aelin responds after a moment, her tone light and jovial.
Rowan smiles. "It's not."
Aelin curls back up against Rowan, enjoying the feel of his skin against hers. An embarrassing sound of contentment escapes her, which worsens her blush.
Not forgetting their original purpose in the sauna, Rowan grips her hands and massages them between his. "You have no response?"
"Not one that HR is going to like." Aelin winces as her hand spasms, and Rowan methodically works to ease the ache.
"Say it anyway," Rowan implores. Screw the university. He was tired of living for his work alone. Nothing outshined this moment, holding this woman in his arms. He could find a new job, but if Aelin reciprocated his feelings, he couldn't find another one of her.
"Well, I thought it was pretty obvious when I wore that dress to the Christmas party and then found a reason to walk past your office every day." Aelin huffs and looks up at him, "Don't tell me you didn't know?"
Rowan was speechless.
Aelin's eyes twinkle with amusement. "Rowan, Dorian, and I are friends. Did you know that?"
"What?" Rowan blinks confusedly. That was common knowledge, but he didn't understand why she was bringing that up now.
"Dorian and I go way back. He knew I had a thing for you, and I told him sending me on this trip was unethical when I'm such a new hire-" Aelin trails off, waiting for him to grasp her point.
"Wait," Rowan looks down at her, bemused. "Dorian was trying to set us up?"
"Human recourses won't like that very much either," Aelin grins. "But Dorian would keep our secret. He owes me a lot of favors."
The sauna's temperature had slowly been rising, and Rowan could see that his skin was returning to its usual color. Aelin still looked a bit pale, but it was probably residuals from being so close to freezing.
She'd risked herself to save the expedition and successfully fixed the engines. Rowan didn't believe for one second that Dorian only sent her in an elaborate attempt to set her up. She was bright and cunning. He was lucky to have her along with him.
"You got here on your merit," Rowan presses a soft peck to her lips as he soothes her unvoiced concern. He refused to let her doubt her level of skill. "But if the feelings are mutual, I would love to take you on a date when we get back home?"
"I would love that," Aelin crawls off his lap and holds a hand out. "Come on, now. We need to eat and sleep. We have seals to observe."
Rowan accepted her hand. Forget the seals. He would have a difficult time keeping his attention on them. His eyes were glued to her bare legs as they moved and the way her hair swung free of its constraints.
She smirked over his shoulder. Aelin knew precisely what she was doing to him.
Rowan had traversed to the end of the world to understand the natural universe a little better. While he hadn't unlocked any great mysteries, he couldn't help but think what he did find was better.
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A Good Guy - A Solangelo One-Shot
Summary: Will might be a lot of things. And among those things, Will would dare to say that he’s a good guy. But when it came to Nico di Angelo, would he ever be good enough, though?
Word count: 3900 words || Rating: Teenage and Up Audiences || Read on AO3
Notes:
1. Based on the song "good guys" by LANY 2. My contribution for @after-everything-pjo-zine project. Check out other fics (each fic is accompanied by great fanart so you just HAVE to check it out) in the zine here.
***
Will might be a lot of things. And among those things, Will would dare to say that he’s a good guy. And he would proudly say that it’s because his family raised him to be one. His Mama made sure that he never forgot to say please, sorry and thank you, and his grandma taught him to respect people. Even though Apollo wasn’t around to be an ideal father as Will was growing up in Tennessee, his grandpa showed him how to be a Southern gentleman.
So yeah, he might come across as a young man who with a sassy attitude. But heck, Will knew that he was a good guy. And he’s proud of that.
But here’s the thing. Here’s a thing about being a good guy. Being a good guy might sound like it’s a good thing to do. But being a good guy also sometimes meant that you’re almost as invisible as a wallflower. Because even though you’re good, there were always be better guys. And one thing that Will learned about being a good guy? Good guys never win.
***
“It’s been almost two weeks, you know,” Will said as he kept his eyes at the monthly medical report that he (pretended) to be reading.
“Two weeks since what?” Kayla asked, but didn't bother to pretend that she's actually interested.
“Since Nico went for that quest, remember? Something about Persephone’s parrot or something?” Will said, still trying to keep his eyes at the notes. Because he knew that Kayla might still see the worry in Will’s eyes. (Sometimes it’s almost scary, how his siblings knew him too well).
“Oh? Really? Has it been two weeks yet?”
“Almost,” Will said, decided to leave the detail that it’s actually has been 11 days and since Nico had left the camp early in the morning and now it was almost dinner, it’s been almost twelve freaking days since Nico left the camp for that stupid quest.
“I mean, of course, it might be nothing but well, I thought it was supposed to be a short, simple quest?” Will continued. “Usually if it’s just this small quest, it never took him this long before. Usually it would just be like, three days, five, at the most, and like, a week if he took a detour to impulsively do something unnecessary, but never this long.”
Will lifted his head and turned to look at Kayla, who didn’t seem to share the same worry as Will. Her eyes were still fixed on the glossy pictures of the magazine that she was looking at. A non-committal hum coming from her was the only sign that she was (kind of) listening.
Will tried to focus on the lines of writing in front of him, but the letters were all jumbled and he couldn’t make himself try to read anything. His mind was too busy thinking about different reasons and scenarios of why Nico wasn’t back yet from the quest.
“Do you think I should ask Chiron about it? Probably he’s heard from Nico, y’know. Like, maybe something came up and I don’t know, maybe Chiron knew or maybe even Rachel got a vision or something, or-“
“Or you could have just contacted me, Solace. Pretty sure that it doesn't hurt to try IM me”
Will stood up and spun to face the direction where the voice was coming from. He did it so fast, he got dizzy because of it. It took him two seconds before his eyes could fully focus on Nico di Angelo, who was staring at him. His face looked nonchalant, but his eyes glinted with amusement.
“Uh, hey,” Will greeted, gripping the desk as he suddenly needed to get a hold of himself. “You’re back.”
Nico gave him a single nod, brushing away some strands of hair from covering his eyes. “Yep. I just got back.” He shrugged his shoulders before continuing. “Thought I’d drop by here before I report to Chiron.”
Will tightened his grip on the desk, trying his best to hold himself from closing the distance between him and Nico just to pull Nico into his arms.
“And uh… What brings you here?”
The emotional part of him wished that he was the reason why Nico came straight to the infirmary after the quest. But the rational part of him shushed him. That damned rational part of him told him that hey, it was him who wanted to see Nico, not the other way around.
Nico kept his eyes at Will and there was something in those dark eyes that Will couldn’t really put his fingers on.
“I thought you wanted me to have a check-up every time I got back from a quest?”
Of course.
Will tried to ease the dull pain in his heart by giving Nico a small smile. “Yeah. Of course. Need to make sure that you won’t fade into the shadows again, huh?” Will let out a nervous chuckle. “I mean, I am your doctor, and a doctor only wants the best for his patients.”
This time Nico stayed silent as he nodded. Will gestured to a nearby cot with his chin.
“Now, if you could just sit down over there, please?”
Still saying nothing, Nico strode to the cot and quickly sat there. Will took a deep breath, mentally telling himself to be professional, and let it out in a long exhale. He made his way to where Nico was waiting for him.
The check-up was a regular one. And there was nothing new about how touching Nico made stupid butterflies do some stupid dancing in his stomach. He ached to ask Nico questions about what happened in the quest and why it took so long. He wanted to know whether Nico ever thought of him while he was on the quest the way Will kept on thinking about him while he was away. He wanted to listen to Nico talk to him, with that slight accent that made his voice so melodious, almost like he was singing.
But it would only scare Nico away.
So he kept his eyes at the board where he jotted down the notes about Nico’s vitals.
“So, uhm… This quest was a bit longer than usual, huh?” Will asked, almost proud of himself that his voice sounded normal.
Nico hummed as he put his jacket back on. “Yeah, we had an unexpected encounter with some empousai. Luckily, David is unexpectedly good at fighting.”
At the mention of the name, Will lifted his head up. “David? You mean the new camper? That Athena kid?”
Nico nodded. “Yeah. For someone who never held a sword before, I have to say that I’m impressed.”
A strange, nauseating heat flared inside Will’s stomach. “Really?”
“Yup. In fact, I promised to give him an extra lesson in sword-fighting tomorrow.”
That strange heat swirled even more inside Will. He stretched his lips into a lame attempt to smile at Nico.
“Oh,” Will said. “Nice.”
“In one way, he strangely reminded me of Percy, you know? The way he held his sword.” And Nico continued talking for a while about that stupid new guy. Will listened, humming every now and then just to show Nico that he’s listening.
Half of his mind wished that the harpies would find that David kid to be a nice target for their dinner. The other half of his mind scowled at him for having that kind of evil wish.
“Okay. Everything looks good. Just make sure that you drink enough water,” Will said as he wrote the date and signed his name on the bottom part of the report.
“So I can go now?”
Will nodded. “Yeah, you’re free to go now,” he answered as he walked back to his desk to put the record in the folder.
“And you’re not even offering to walk me back to my Cabin like a good Southern gentleman?”
Will spun on his heel quickly. He stared at Nico with wide eyes, thinking that he might have been hallucinating.
“What?”
Nico snorted and slid down from the cot. “Never mind. I need to report to Chiron first anyway.”
Will blinked, and it took him a full two seconds before he had his voice again.
“Nico-“
But Nico was already one step away from the door. He stopped and looked at Will over his shoulder. The left tip of his lips curled up, just slightly, forming a ghost of a smile. He gave a two-finger salute to Will.
“I’ll see you around, Solace.”
Not waiting for Will to answer him, Nico stepped away. And just like that, he’s out of sight.
Will stared at the open door. There is this hollowness inside his heart that he couldn't explain. Like he just missed a chance.
He always thought that he’s a good guy. Or at least, he’s trying to.
But would he ever be good enough, though?
***
“What are you doing here?”
Lou Ellen’s voice startled Will.
“Me? Uh…” Will scrambled to pick up the book that he just dropped and showed it to Lou, like he was trying to prove something. “I was reading!”
Lou Ellen stared at him with a glint of amusement in her eyes as she gave Will the Look. The ‘don’t-give-me-bullshit’ Look.
“What, am I not allowed to read in peace?” Will said, a bit defensively.
“Hey, it’s cool dude,” Lou said. “In fact, it was nice to see you somewhere else aside from the infirmary,” she added.
Will relaxed a bit, going back to lean his back on the tree.
“I can see why you choose this spot. It’s much quieter than the infirmary on your busy days,” Lou said.
Will hummed.  His eyes flickered to the far left, to the clearing a few yards away, just for a split second before he opened his book.
“And the view from here is also… decent.”
Lou Ellen’s tone made Will quickly look up again at the daughter of Hecate. She’s now grinning at him, like she just figured something out.
“How long have you been spying on those two?” Lou asked, gesturing with her chin to two demigods in the clearing who seemed to just finished sparring.
Will gaped at her. He blinked and quickly shook his head. “What? No! I’ve told you, I was reading here!”
But Lou Ellen didn’t seem to care about Will’s reaction as she waved at the demigods in the clearing.
“Hey, Nico! David!”
Will’s eyes widened in horror this time as he turned his head around, only to see that Nico and the new Athena kid walked towards them.
“Lou!” he hissed in annoyance.
Lou Ellen just gave him a teasing smirk. “What?”
Will groaned and quickly stood up, his book abandoned on the grass as he unconsciously ran a hand over his wild locks.
“Hey,” Nico greeted. “What’s up?”
Nothing’s up aside from his heartbeat, Will would like to answer. But of course, he kept it to himself as he tried his best to school his face into a relaxed, nonchalant, I’m-just-chilling-here expression.
“Nothing much,” Lou Ellen shrugged her shoulders. “You two are sparring together here? Why? Is the arena too mainstream for you?”
The new Athena kid gave a half-smile as he brushed off some hair from covering his eyes. “It was my request, actually,” he said. “I just want to have a...” he waved his right in a vague circular motion, like trying to find the exact word to say. “A more… realistic view when fighting a monster?”
That didn’t really make sense to Will. But it seemed to be an acceptable reason for Lou Ellen as she nodded at him.
“And has Nico been a good teacher for you?” Lou Ellen asked.
Will didn’t miss the way Lou gave him a quick glance.
David’s half-smile turned into a full one. “He is!” He turned his head to Nico and smiled at him, like he was pleased at Nico. “Thanks for teaching me, Nico. You are very good at sword-fighting.”
Nico returned David’s smile with one of his small smiles. A smile that could have filled Will’s chest with warm air. But since he’s not at the receiving end of that smile, it turned Will’s chest into lead instead.
“Anytime. It was a pleasure.”
“You will teach me more, yes? And ah… We also need to talk more. About football.”
This was the first time for Will to really listen to David talking, and he couldn’t help but notice how David’s voice had quite an accent. Especially when he pronounced football, the way he stretched some syllables.
Nico’s face lit up. “Yeah! We should! I know that Cecil played football! Right?” His eyes darted from Will to Lou Ellen, like asking for confirmation.
“Cecil? He does. I can take you to talk to him. Come on,” Lou Ellen quickly pulled the sleeve of David’s shirt and led him away from the other two demigods.
Will watched the backs of Lou Ellen and David who were walking away from them. He could feel nervousness starting to creep in on him as their voices slowly faded away, as he realized that he’s now alone with Nico.
Not that he hated to be with Nico. It’s just… this wasn’t his plan. He wasn’t prepared. And Will hated it when things didn’t go as he planned. He hated it when he was unprepared.
“David played football,” Nico said just when David and Lou Ellen disappeared from their sight.
Will angled his neck to look at Nico. “And when you said football, did you mean soccer?”
“I mean football,” Nico answered, turning on his heels a little so now he was facing Will. “The real football.”
Will snorted and slid down to sit on the grass. “They’re the same,” he said, leaning his back on the tree.
Nico followed Will, sitting on the grass. “It will always be football for me,” he said. There was a melancholic tone lacing his voice. And it made Will wonder, maybe it’s something that Nico used to play. In the streets in Venice, when he was just a kid who had no idea that Greek gods and goddesses were real.
“We, David and I, we were talking about playing here. I mean, it would be great, you know? David said he played midfield. I’m usually,” Nico paused, but quickly continued. “I mean, I used to play as a striker. If we can connect well, that would be really cool.”
Will closed his eyes while his stomach churned with a strange, unpleasant feeling. So, not only was this David kid good in sword-fighting, he’s good in soccer too?
“Do you play too? I mean, you can be the goal keeper. I guess you would be great. I mean, you’re tall and it would be a great asset for a goalkeeper.”
Will huffed. Stuck between the goalposts while watching Nico and David scoring goals? Yeah. No, thank you.
“We’ll see about that,” Will said, still with his eyes closed.
For a while, none of them said anything. Will opened his eyes when he heard Nico sighed. He turned his head, watching Nico stand up. Nico brushed his pants, and gave Will a small smile.
“I’ll see you around, Solace.”
Will wondered why that smile looked a bit strained, but returned it anyway. “Yeah. I’ll see you around.”
He watched as Nico walked away.
Someone would be a good guy for Nico, he thought. And even though Will was a good guy, maybe he just wasn’t good enough. So of course, someone would be a good guy for Nico. Someone else. Not Will.
***
Will didn’t even know why he was here, standing awkwardly near the table where the food and drinks were.
Oh, yes. Because Cecil and Lou Ellen practically dragged him here, to this stupid Halloween party organized by the Aphrodite Cabin.
It’s not that Will disliked Halloween. And it wasn’t like he hated Halloween parties either. What he didn’t like, was seeing Nico talking with David at the other corner of the room. Just looking at the sight made a strange, nauseating fire flame inside of him.
“Pining over di Angelo again?” Lou Ellen nudged him on his shoulder.
“Yeah. How long are you going to act like this Will? Playing it cool while we all know how you wish you’re the one talking to di Angelo instead of David?” Cecil joined Lou Ellen in interrogating Will.
Will only rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” he mumbled, and took another sip of Coke from his cup. He tried to watch the campers who were dancing in the middle of the floor. Some kids from the Hermes cabin somehow got a hold of speakers. And of course, with a little help from the Hephaestus kids, the party had a cool sound system that was now playing pop music.
Lou Ellen sighed. Will stole another glance at where Nico was standing. David was leaning a little to whisper something at Nico. The proximity between those two made it a little bit harder for Will to breathe. He wondered what it was that David was telling Nico. But then Nico turned his head to Will. And no matter how cliché it might sound, Will’s heart skipped a beat when their eyes met. Will quickly looked down to the floor.
Next to him, Lou Ellen clicked her tongue.
“You know what? I can’t take this anymore. It’s been MONTHS. This has got to end tonight,” she said. Ignoring Will’s protest, she grabbed Will’s wrist and pulled him along with her, walking towards Nico and David.
A few seconds later, Will was standing with a flustered face in front of Nico and David.
“Hey, Nico, David! You guys enjoying the party?”
David gave that half-smile again. “Ah, yes. The party is nice.” He angled his neck just a bit so now he was looking right at Will. The half-smile subtly transformed into a knowing smirk. “And you? You… You are the healer, yes? Will?”
Will forced himself to smile politely at David. “Yeah. That’s me.”
David gave a single nod. “Nico talked a lot about you. A lot of good things.”
Will blinked. His eyes darted to Nico, but the raven-haired boy looked away from him. Still, his cheeks were a dark shade of red.
“Is that Cecil over there? I think I want to talk to him,” David suddenly said as he pointed at Cecil with his chin. “Lou Ellen? Come with me?”
Lou Ellen grinned as she nodded and made a 90-degree turn on her heels. “Yeah, come on, David. Let's leave these two idiots.”
And just like that, they left Will again, standing awkwardly less than two feet away from Nico.
“Uh… I didn’t expect to see you here,” Will said.
Nico turned his head at Will, an eyebrow slightly raised up. “Oh? I thought you were the one saying that I need to work on my social skill.”
Will gave Nico a small smile. “Yeah. So. Good to see you here, then. I mean, for your social skills and all.”
Nico stared at Will. And there was just something behind those dark eyes. Something that Will couldn’t put into words. Something that made him unable to look away.
“Aren’t you going to ask me to dance, Solace?”
The question got Will off-guard. Of all the questions in the world, it’s probably the most unexpected one.
“Huh?”
Nico held his eyes at Will’s for another second, but then he looked away. “Never mind,” he said, half-mumbling. His cheeks blushed again into dark cherry color.
“But… do you want to, though?”
Nico’s head turned back to Will. “Want to do what?”
“Dance? Do you…want to?”
Nico bit his lower lip and he looked down for a second. When he looked up back at Will, his charcoal eyes were soft.
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“On who’s asking me to.”
Will’s heart started to jump around in his chest.
“What if it’s me asking you?”
The eyes that were staring back at him were now smiling.
“Then I guess, it depends on the song, then.”
Will’s heart was probably doing some crazy somersaults right now, but his lips curled up without him even thinking about it.
“Well, it’s my favorite song that they’re playing right now. I hope it suits you?” he asked, carefully offering his hand.
Nico’s smile was as soft as the look in his eyes. And the moment their fingertips touched, Will’s heart soared high and suddenly his chest was filled with warm, light air.
As Will led Nico to the floor, he thought about how long he has been wanting to do this, to hold Nico’s hand in his.
They swayed along with the music. Nico’s left hand felt perfect in his right hand. Will’s left hand rested on Nico’s hip and Will couldn’t care less about the other people dancing around them.
“Your dancing is better than your singing,” Nico said, a playful smile on his lips.
Will chuckled. “My grandma said a real Southern gentleman must know how to dance. And I remember my Mama dancing with me when I was a kid.”
“Your Mam raised you well, I have to say.”
Will hummed. “I’m a good mama’s boy, I can promise you that.”
“I can see that, Will. Everyone can see that.”
“See what?”
“That you’re a good guy.”
This time Will held his eyes at Nico. “I try to be,” he said. “But… Would I ever be good enough for you?”
Nico huffed. “And you said I was the dense one.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…” Nico stopped, but his feet kept on moving. He sighed. “Gods, do I really have to spell it out to you?” He asked, sounding exasperated as he looked away from Will.
Hope bloomed inside of Will and he grinned and oh, how he wanted to shout and laugh. He took his hand off Nico’s hip so he could gently cup Nico’s cheek, guiding him to face him back.
“Do you mean you like me?” Will asked.
“Well, do you like me?”
Will chuckled and he could feel a stupid smile creeping in. “Why do you even have to ask?”
Nico shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Because you’re nice to me but you’re also nice to everyone? Because you don’t seem to care even if I talk about someone else? Because you…” Nico stopped again and shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe because I just…don’t know?”
Will squeezed Nico’s hand just a bit tighter. “I was just… I was just afraid that I’m not good enough for you.”
Nico rolled his eyes. But his lips twitched, like he tried to hold back a smile.
“You’re a good guy, Will. You’re a good guy to everyone. But sometimes I hope that you can be my good guy.”
It’s like a thousand birds were singing inside of Will now as he felt like he was floating in this bubble of happiness.
“Then I’ll be yours, Death Boy.”
Will wrapped his arms around Nico, and pulled him into his embrace.
“I’ll be your good guy, then. I’ll be your everything.”
Nico pulled himself a little away from Will. He looked up at Will and the light in his eyes was like the most beautiful star in a dark night.
“Everything?”
“Everything. Anything you need.”
***
Additional Author's Notes: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :). Reblogs, replies or any other feedbacks are much appreciated. Also please don't forget to check out the zine!!!
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Text
More than just a game
Warnings: dark elements including noncon and rape, oral, fingering, doxxing, stalking, and other explicit content. 
This is dark!Jake Jensen and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You find a new gaming buddy but he sees you as more than that.
Note: So this is my first Jake Jensen fic and it was lots of fun so let me know what you think and hope you enjoy. :D
Thank you. Love you guys!
As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
Special shout-out to @navybrat817​ for helping me with this idea
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After too many nights scrolling through subreddits and searching for something to keep you distracted, you decided to bite the hook. Several other redditors agreed to hop on Minecraft and it had been a while since you logged in. You missed the almost relaxing ritual of mining and building.
You joined the chat, quick to hit the little microphone emblem as you listened to the voices in your headset. You learned long ago to keep your mic muted on the servers, especially with strangers. The last time you dared to speak up as a woman in a game chat, your DMs had become so overwhelmed you deleted and started a new account on Discord and changed your ID on Steam.
You were all given your tasks as players called out coordinates and you kept to chopping up the side of a mountain. You mostly worked alone, chatting through text instead of voice chat. As you placed a crafting table in your little mine, another player, JJ-Smooth, popped up and dropped some iron for you. 
He stayed close but you didn’t mind. A lot of players tried to work together the deeper they got and you were used to it. As you uncovered some lava, he dumped water before you could get burned and helped you hack up the obsidian. 
He thanked you on the voice chat but you knew any courtesy in return would earn you the attention of the entire server. So you dropped some gold for him and went on your way.
“I hear a zombie,” he warned.
You turned to hack up the undead before it could get you, only to be shot by a skeleton hidden on the next level. Another appeared and you died before you could hide, the bony villain killed by your ally as you watched your possession scatter over the death screen.
“Hey, I got your stuff,” he said as you loaded back up, “I’ll find you.”
You typed quickly in the chat, ‘sorry, mic busted, give me your coordinates and I’ll come to you.’
You waited as ‘JJ-Smooth is typing…’ appeared at the bottom and finally he sent the numbers. You hopped over the blocky hills and through the forests until you found the mine again. He was just outside and handed over all your tools and ration. He headed back into the mine and you followed him. This time, you began your own path in the opposite direction.
Before you knew it, you’d lost track of time. You sat back as you realised it was only you and JJ on the server. The silence should have tipped you off earlier. He was the host and you felt super awkward for staying so long. You typed that you were logging off for the night and thanked him. 
You hit the keyboard with your knuckle and yawned as you opened the screen, 
“God, it’s late,” you muttered.
“Hello?” he said.
Your eyes rounded as you looked at the mic symbol and the lack of red line made you cringe. You’d hit an extra button without noticing.
“Um, hi, sorry, I just--”
“Mic busted, huh?” he asked.
“No, I--” you didn’t know what to say, “anyways, I should--”
“So, you’re a chick? Is that why you mute?”
“Uh, well, it’s just… easier, sorry, I--” even if you weren’t trying to hide from gamer dudes, you weren’t the best at conversation.
“A gamer girl, nice,” he said and you sighed, “sorry, that sounded weird, didn’t it?”
“Mhmm,” you touched your bottom lip as you cupped your chin, “it’s late, I have to work tomorrow.”
“You comin’ back?” he asked, almost hopeful.
“I don’t know--”
“I won’t tell anyone,” he said abruptly, “promise, lips sealed.”
“I really don’t know if I can do this too much, I usually work early mornings so… yeah,” you said.
“I get it but you know you’re always welcome, hope you don’t mind if I send you an invite now and then. No pressure,” he offered.
“Uh, sure,” you shrugged, “okay, yeah, good night.”
You left the chat quickly and pulled off your headset. Shit.
‘I’m Jake by the way,’ a pm popped up, ‘gg.’
You typed back, ‘gg, it was fun’ and quickly logged out. You sat back and rubbed your eyes. Well, he didn’t seem like a total creep, maybe just a bit awkward but so were you. You shut down for the night and stretched out as you switched off the lamp. You were going to pay for your session in the morning.
🎮
A few nights later you got an invite to the server. You debated it but as it was Friday, you decided to make good use of the PC you’d saved up forever to build. You spawned in the middle of nowhere and built a bed before you found the half-finished settlement. You joined the chat but you must have been early as you were the only one there.
You headed back to the same mine, some work done since the first night, and laid your torches as you ventured into the depths. You jumped in your seat as a voice broke your peace.
“I don’t think anyone else is gonna join,” JJ-Smooth, or Jensen said, “you think maybe you’ll unmute?”
You stopped your mining and stared at the screen. You hovered over the mic button and re-read his name, he was the only other one there. You clicked and gave a strained smile to the screen.
“So, um, what’s the goal tonight?” you asked.
“Get some materials and go back to the settlement, keep building, oh, maybe we could try a portal, you ever gone to the nether?” he said but before you could reply he kept on, “shit, I shouldn’t assume, you seem like an experienced player.”
“Yeah, a few times, but I’m more a casual miner,” you went back to harvesting stone and ore.
“Ah,” he said, and it was silent for a moment, “so, you work again in the morning?”
“Not tomorrow,” you said as you focused on the game, “daycare isn’t open on the weekends.”
“A daycare, huh? That sounds fun, I love kids… not in a weird way but you know, I… urgh, I have a niece,” he said with a nervous chuckle, “nah, that’s cool though, sounds more fun than my gig.”
“Oh?” you turned and kept your axe moving.
“IT. You know, some people would be like ‘hey Jensen, why do you spend all your free time staring at a screen when that’s what you do at work?’” he scoffed, “well, who says I’m not mining there too.”
You wrinkled your forehead and gave a small laugh. He was rambling and it was kinda odd. You were happy for once not to be the strange one.
“But anyway,” he said, “I found lots of diamond over here. If we get some lapis lazuli we can build an enchanting table and get some sick armour.”
“Awesome,” you pressed your fingertips to your lip as you leaned on your elbow, “should try to head back before dark…”
“Hard to tell down here. How about you mine and I’ll keep an eye out for monsters?” he offered.
“Sure,” you agreed as he came onto your screen, “that works.”
🎮
Another week went by and you ventured back into the server a few times but not for very long as late nights did not mix with young children. The next weekend, you joined again on Saturday night and like the last few times it was just you and Jensen. You wondered why no one else was joining when the subreddit was so popular but you didn’t worry about it for long.
You mostly played in silence, Jensen did most of the talking and it was never about anything more than the game or his niece’s last soccer game. That night when you left the game, he kept typing on Discord.
‘I like playing with you,’ his message blipped up.
‘Same, thx.’
‘Really, you’re awesome.’
‘Thx :) Tired, gotta sleep.’
‘Sweet dreams.’
‘Night.’
You changed your status to offline and dragged yourself to bed. You opened your phone as you laid in the dark and went to the subreddit, you scrolled through the builds and screenshots of other people’s catastrophes. 
You came to Jensen’s last invite post from that night but all the comments complained that the world code was incorrect. Hmm, you should tell him next time.
You blackened your cell and plopped it on your night table. You rolled over and buried your face in the pillow, the light still etched into your vision. You fell asleep quickly and woke the next day to another invite from Jensen.
‘How about some Fortnite? If you’re into it?’
‘Srry, can’t, my mom’s expecting me for lunch.’
‘2 bad, maybe later.’
‘Maybe’.
You got ready to go see your mother for your usual Sunday afternoon visit and it went by like any other. When she asked you what you’d been up to, you didn’t mention the gaming, she was never a fan of it. When you got back home, Jensen was messaging you again. You didn’t open the notification and settled in to catch up on some streaming before another week of work.
Monday hit you like a train and you were glad you hadn’t spent the night mining again. If you had, you doubted you’d even be able to open your eyes. You got to the daycare centre and welcomed in the kids. You got them set up for the morning snack then cleaned up as Sandy took them over to the reading circle.
You wiped the tables and then did some painting before you went out for some play time in the yard. As you watched several of the children on the swings, you glanced around. There was a man across the street. You squinted through the chain link as he seemed to be watching but assured yourself it was nothing as he quickly headed for the corner and disappeared.
Inside, the kids were due for quiet time, some napped and those who didn’t, stared at the ceiling and yawned. You could have joined them but knew that wouldn’t be acceptable. The end of the day came and you helped the kids pack up their paintings and their sweaters. You waited in the yard with them as the parents showed up and handed them off one by one.
You waved to Danika as she clung to her mother and your eye was once more drawn beyond the chain link. The same faded grey jacket, the same glasses, and the hat with the frayed brim. It was a better look at the man. Was he looking at you? Why on earth was he hanging around outside a daycare?
“Sandy,” you turned and lowered your voice as she neared, “see that man?”
She peeked over and shrugged, “which one? The guy crossing the street?”
You looked up again and like before, he was walking away casually as if he hadn’t just been staring through the fence. You shook your head and huffed. “Sorry, never mind.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it,” she waved her fingers, “come on, let’s clean up.”
With the kids all sorted out, you went back in and tidied up the last of their mess. You and Sandy were friendly but like with any, you weren’t very talkative. You never really knew what to say but you were never unkind.
You pulled on your jacket and checked your purse for your phone and wallet. You checked the time and turned off the lights. You bid Sandy goodbye as she headed for her SUV and you took your usual route down the sidewalk towards your bus stop. 
You stopped short as the man was there. You were paranoid, he must just be waiting for the same route. You approached and he turned to watch you as you sat on the bench. He smiled and the dread sank deep in your chest. 
His rectangular glasses gave light to his blue eyes and a goatee trimmed his jaw. He was tall and well-built, you could tell even under his comic book tee. He was going to talk to you, another weirdo in the city.
“Hey,” his voice was chillingly familiar, “how was your day?”
You stared at him and blinked cluelessly. You looked around, it was only the two of you. You opened your mouth but you had to be wrong. He said your name and you winced.
“Jensen?” you breathed as you stood and squeezed the strap of your bag, “why? How--?”
“You weren’t answering me, I was worried,” he said, “just making sure you’re okay.”
“What the-- I don’t understand how--” He stepped closer and you backed up against the bench. “Don’t, I’ll scream.”
“Scream? Why? I’m just-- You know me, it’s me, Jensen.”
“You doxxed me?” you snapped, “what the hell?”
“No, I didn’t-- I’m just checking on you--”
“I don’t know you,” you said as your heart began to race, “so please, leave me alone,” you edged away from him, “and don’t message me again.”
You sprinted across the street and as you came up on the curb, you looked back at him. He watched you but didn’t follow. You could tell from there he wasn’t happy but the brim of his cap shadowed most of his face so you couldn’t guess if it was hurt or anger. You quickly spun away and continued down the next street to the nearest stop.
You couldn’t believe he’d just shown up like that. You couldn’t believe he would think that was okay. You couldn’t believe he’d think that much about you.
🎮
You blocked Jensen on Discord and left his world on Minecraft. That night you were shaky and nervous, afraid that he would show up at your apartment. Did he know where you lived? He must if he could figure out where you worked.
You didn’t open Steam that night. You paced your small apartment, jumping at every noise. Sleep didn’t come easily but in shallow spurts that left you even more tired. You watched over your shoulder as you walked to your stop and boarded with one eye on the door.
Work was little better as you found yourself distracted in the room full of toddlers. Sandy asked if you were okay as you kneaded play-do violently. You shook yourself out of your paranoia and assured her you were only short on sleep, not a complete lie.
You took out your phone when you stepped out for a small break. Your mom had called but you would have to get back to her when you had two hours to waste. There was another notification, that one from Discord, a friend request from JJ-NoRematch. It wasn’t hard to guess who it was and you declined it right away.
There were several others from Jensen, too. He followed your Insta, blocked; he followed your mostly empty twitter, blocked; and he even commented on your LinkedIn like a weird. You closed your phone and took a breath before you headed back into the kids, their voices rising in their excitement to go outside.
In the yard, you had another look around, expecting to see him there on the other side of the fence. You were slightly relieved when he wasn’t but still on edge. You joined a game of tag then watched several of the kids line up for the slide. You lost yourself in your job as you told yourself he must have gotten the hint, at least not to bother you irl.
Just like the day before, and every day, you left work and headed for your stop. He wasn’t there either and you sat down and phoned your mom, hanging up as the bus pulled up with a promise to call her again when you were home. At home, you felt almost normal again and checked your notifications; no more follows, no more requests, nothing.
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday passed in a similar fashion. Each saw your anxieties less than the day before. You even resolved to open Steam and start a new world for yourself. You spent hours mining and almost fell asleep in your chair. When you nearly tipped over, you decided it was time for bed.
You slept better than you had all week and woke up before noon. You wanted to log right back on but you had life to deal with; groceries, cleaning, and of course, making that call to your mother you’d delayed the night before. After all that, you felt accomplished and you decided to treat yourself to take out, a rare divulgence.
You called the local Chinese eatery and waited eagerly for your feast as you turned on a new episode of your current binge. You played on your phone until the battery was low and had enough juice to buzz up the delivery man. You dug for your wallet as you went to the door and unlocked it without looking up.
“How much--” you asked as you opened the door.
Your eyes met a familiar pair, two blue gems behind a pair of narrow glasses. Jensen wore the same cap and held the paper bag of take-out with a smile. You grabbed the door and tried to swing it shut but he was too quick as he slapped a large hand against the peeling paint.
“It’s on me,” he said, “I love spare ribs.”
“What the--” you gasped as you pushed on the door helplessly, “please go away.”
“You’re not answering me,” he said as he stepped closer and forced you back as his body brushed against yours, “you blocked me and I can’t even get a hey, Jensen, how are you?”
“I don’t want you here,” you tried to shove him and he shouldered you away easily, “get out!”
He slammed the door and you flinched. He put the bag down on the corner table and reached back to twist the lock without a look. His eyes roved around your entryway and further into your apartment. He smiled as they stilled and focused on you.
“This place is cute… like you,” he said and you heard a slight hesitation in his voice.
You swallowed and backed away from him. You spun on your heel and ran for your couch. You reached over the back to your phone and unlocked it as the battery icon flashed. You had just enough juice to make the call. You dialed as you turned back to him.
“I’m calling the police so you b-better l-leave,” you warned as your voice and hands shook, “I me--”
He was quick and before you could pull away, he swiped your cell out of your hand. He scoffed and tossed it across the room. It hit the wall and landed screen down on the hardwood. You bit down and pressed yourself to the couch. You stared at him and kicked yourself forward as you tried to slip past him. He caught you and wrestled you back into the front room.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked calmly as you struggled in his grasp, “I’ve been nothing but nice to you.”
“N-no, you’re-- you-- let me go,” you stammered as he angled you around the couch. He pushed you down so you bounced on the cushion. You tried to push yourself up and he pointed his finger in your face and wagged it. 
“No, you stay,” he growled and wiped his other hand on his jeans. He was nervous, even if he was angry.
“Please, why-- what do you want?” you grasped the cushion and hovered at the edge of the couch.
He sighed and sat in the chair. He took his hat off and set it on the table as he ran his fingers through his short hair. 
“Good question,” he said as his jaw squared and his eyes turned to pinpoints, “better one, why did you block me?”
“Are you serious? You-- you--” you struggled to get your words out, your voice even more splintered by your fear, “you doxxed me, you came to-- to my work-- and…”
“I thought we were getting along. I thought you liked me,” he said with a frown, “I really did, you sure acted like it and-- I only wanted to make sure you were safe.”
“But why wouldn’t I be? I--” you shivered and crossed your arms as you withered beneath his gaze, “Jensen, this was only supposed to be online.”
He scoffed and stomped his boot on the floor. He shook his head as he looked to the ceiling and his anger bulged along his temple. He tilted his head and looked at you again.
“You know, for years, I have been a nice guy, I am a nice guy,” he pushed his shoulders to his ears as he threw his hand out, “I’m so patient and caring and you girls, you don’t even give me a second look.”
“Jensen--”
“No, really, I mean look at you, you’re no supermodel and yet it’s the same thing, ‘let’s just be friends’,” he spat, “but I watch guys all the time treat women like shit and they don’t have any trouble at all, they got them hanging off of them and I’m a creep for giving them a compliment or opening the door--”
“I don’t… know you,” you eked out, “you have to understand--”
“I don’t understand,” he stood abruptly, “I’m done trying to understand.”
He pulled his jacket open and slid it down his arms. You watched him sling it over the chair and as he turned back to you, you stood. He caught your shoulders and held you in place. His strength was plain in his grip as he squeezed then slowly moved his hands to cradle your face.
“I just wanna be nice,” he said as he leaned in. You tried to pull away but he moved a hand around the back of your head and forced your lips against his. He poked his tongue inside your mouth roughly as you tried to shove him away. Finally, he parted, his hands still firmly around your head, “wasn’t that nice?”
“Please,” you begged as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip.
His eyes searched your face as you stared back at him in terror. He sighed and dropped his hands back to your shoulders. He pushed you down to the sofa harshly and backed away.
“Fine, I won’t be nice,” he snarled as he took his glasses off and folded them carefully. He put them on the table beside his cap and twined his fingers together, loudly cracking his knuckles.
You blinked at him as your eyes grew glossy. You brought your legs up under you and pressed yourself to the back of the couch. You grasped the upholstery and turned as you launched yourself over to the other side. You stumbled as you landed on your feet and ran for the door.
You were yanked back as he snaked his arms around you and took you off your feet. You kicked out and screamed but it was cut off by his palm as he kept one arm around your middle. You scratched at his hand as he dragged you back to the couch. He pushed you face down onto the cushions and planted his knee in the middle of your back, slipping his hand away as he put enough weight on you to keep your voice suffocated.
“Listen, I know I look like some IT nerd but I’m a lot more than that, now don’t make me hurt you,” he played with your hair as he smiled down at you, “you try that again and I will shut you up and if someone hears you, I can take care of them too.”
You sniffed as tears pricked in your eyes and nodded frantically as it felt as if he would snap your spine. He pushed off of you and you stayed as you were, paralysed with fear. He sat and unlaced his boots one at a time. He looked up as he set them neatly beside the foot of the chair and he bent to catch your eye.
“Well?” he pointed at you and traced the line of your body in the air, “let’s go.”
You stared at him dumbly and he stood to pull his tee over his head. His torso was sculpted perfectly and his chest trimmed with hair that trailed all the way down to his pants. He stepped forward and tugged at the back of your shirt.
“You want me to do it for you, baby?” he purred, “I can help you.”
You swatted him away and sat up. You bent your legs to your chest and hugged them. “Please, I’m scared, just leave me alone--”
His hand rested on his belt and exhaled again. His fingers moved swiftly to unloop the striped belt and unbutton his jeans. He pushed them down, nearly tripping as he stepped out of them. He stood in his boxers, tented with his impatient excitement, and gripped his hips.
“It’s okay, baby, I know you’re shy, I am too,” he neared and you winced as he grabbed your wrist. He tugged on your arm and you resisted until he bent your hand back painfully and you cried out. He tickled your jaw as he looked you in the eye and tutted, “it doesn’t have to be like this, alright?”
You went limp and let him pull your arms apart. Your legs slipped down and your feet dangled above the floor. He got to his knees and pushed between yours. He slowly rolled up the hem of your shirt and bent to kiss your stomach as he bared the flesh. You trembled as he forced your arms up and swooped the fabric over your head. It fluttered through the air and to the floor as he cupped your tits through your bright pink bra.
“Is this so bad?” he asked as he nuzzled your chest and pushed your tits up. 
He glided the straps down your arm and slid your bra lower so that you popped out. He nibbled at your flesh and traced your nipples with his tongue. You sat rigid and let him explore your body, too terrified to move a muscle. He reached around you and struggled with the hooks, frustrated he snapped the clasps and the band came free.
He continued to play with your chest, his fingers crawling up and down your stomach and sides. There was a genuine curiosity to his touch and it sent a chill through you. His fingertips pressed to the top of your pants and he pulled at them as his lips travelled down to your hip.
He tugged on your pants and jerked your entire body. He tore them lower as he pushed you up and you lifted yourself to let him peel away the layer. He added them to the floor and toyed with the elastic of your panties. The little bow in the front drew his attention as he pushed your legs wider and ran his nose along the cotton.
He hummed and rubbed his fingers down your crotch, pushing the fabric to your folds as he teased you through them. You inhaled sharply at the tingle it inspired and he pressed firmer against you, flicking his fingers along your bud as he noticed how it made you squirm.
He gently pulled aside the cotton and you felt his hot breath against you. You pushed on his head before he could delve into you. “Please, don’t--”
“Shhhh,” he threw your hand away from his head and bent over you, “just relax.”
He dragged his tongue along your cunt and lingered around your clit. You clenched as it sent a thrill through you and he moved his lips against you, suckling at you bud as your breaths grew raspy. You pushed yourself against the back of the couch and dug your nails into the cushion.
He slid a finger along your cunt and circled your entrance. He rubbed up and down as he kept his tongue swirling over your clit and you swallowed back as gasp as he poked inside. He felt around and added another finger, stretching you as he carefully pushed them in and out of you in time with his mouth.
He lapped you up and you closed your eyes, desperate to resist the coil winding within you. Your legs tensed against the couch and you tilted your pelvis without thinking. He sped up, the noise of his mouth and your slickness filled the silence. You let out a puff and moaned as you slapped the couch. The waves rolled over your flesh and you came into his mouth with a pathetic mewl.
He stilled his fingers as he lazily teased you with his tongue. He pulled his fingers out and sat back, the heat between your legs cooling in his absence as he licked up your juices. He watched you as he sucked his fingers and stood. Your head lolled and you edged forward on the couch. You tried to stand but he caught you and flung you back.
“We’re not done, baby,” he winked at you as he grasped the top of his boxers, “go on, lay down.”
You murmured your refusal and once more tried to get up. You slipped onto the floor and shakily crawled away as he dropped his boxers to his ankle. He grabbed you before you could get around the side and lifted you easily. He turned you and shoved you down onto your back as he lifted a leg over you.
He straddled you and again his hands roved over your body. You smacked at his fingers weakly but he easily ignored you. He kept one hand moving along your curves as he stroked himself with the other. He groaned and shook as he stroked his dick. Your eyes followed his hand and you gulped, he was thick.
He moved his knees back and pushed them up beneath your thighs as he kept a hand planted on your chest. He ripped your panties down your legs and untangled them from your feet. 
He held you down as he ran his tip along your cunt, wetting himself with your coerced arousal. You groaned and grabbed the arm of the couch above you. You tried to pull away from him.
He pushed against your entrance and you looked at him in shock. You couldn’t stop him. His eyes were set between your legs as he inhaled and slowly eased into you. He gasped as he got his tip inside you and his muscles tensed. He bit his lip as he dove further in and you gasped as he filled you inch by inch.
“Shitttt,” he moaned as he reached his limit and you whined at how full you were, “oh, baby.”
His hand slid from your chest and he gripped your hips as he pulled back and thrust. You exclaimed and he did it again, slowly as he watched himself impale you over and over. You curled your fingers against the couch arm and your feet arch as you pressed your thighs around him. He lifted your pelvis high as he angled his dick even deeper.
“You feel so good,” he rasped, “oh, baby, you’re so good. Ahh-hh-hh,” his voice fizzled as your walls clenched him and you closed your eyes as you felt the heat building. 
He moved his hand along your thigh and stretched it over your pelvis, pushing his thumb to your clit as he kept his pace. He purred as you writhed helplessly against him and you panted through the rising ecstasy.
“Please, please, please…” you chanted, unsure if you were begging him to stop or for more.
He moaned as he sped up and you sucked your lip under your teeth as you neared your peak. You quivered as your orgasm crashed into you and you let out a strangled cry. He snarled and planted his hands beside your head as he leaned over you, his hot breath tickled your face as he pounded into you.
Your legs bent around him as his pelvis rubbed against you and the friction drove you to another climax. You held onto the arm of the couch as he fucked your harder and harder. He kissed you and nibbled at your lip as he groaned and hooked an arm under to hold you close.
“You’re gonna make me cum, baby,” he said against your cheek and you turned your head away from, “ah, here I--”
He spasmed and slammed into you. He took several long thrusts and stilled. He grunted and drew heavy breaths as he rested his weight over you. He grabbed your head and turned your head up as he pressed his forehead to yours. You kept your eyes closed as the flames slowly dwindled.
“Was that so bad?” he stroked your cheek and trailed his finger down to poke between your lips, “No, it’s what you wanted, isn’t it, baby?” he wiggled his hips and you hissed, “yeah, you want me.”
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itsamiraculous · 3 years
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Alya and Secrets
So I started making a post about Alya and secrets a little while back, but after Sentibubbler I put it off as I wasn’t sure, however after Rocketear I feel as if it still stands. 
Sentibubbler revealed to me that yes Alya can control things by herself, is loyal to Marinette and wouldn’t reveal her secret easily. I never wanted to insinuate that she ever would, but now after Rocketear, I feel as if my belief that Alya will make a mistake with the secrets department. Alya has told Nino about Rena Furtive when Marinette had firmly told her not to, knowing of Marinette’s fears and her position as Ladybug.
Alya decided to tell Nino everything because she doesn’t like keeping secrets from him, her relationship has never been like that. Her role as a journalist is to seek the truth as well. She is not comfortable with keeping secrets, and I don’t blame her for that, I think it’s actually very commendable. What I don’t agree with is that she has gone against Marinette. The repercussions could be dire, like what happened in Optygami, or it could cause a huge rift in their friendship. In Sentibubbler Marinette was afraid that all of her secrets would get out and that she would be betrayed by Alya. I believe that she will still have a “betrayal” by Alya (also by Chat, but that’s a different post). Then in Gang of Secrets she was afraid of telling Alya everything could change and potentially destroy their relationship.
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Rocketear also highlighted again why Marinette keeps secrets. We see it breaking her relationships throughout this season; she is making sacrifices to those she cares about because of the role she takes on and the stakes as Ladybug and is breaking her and potentially all of her relationships, whether that be with family or other. 
Rest lies below the cut, this is a long post
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Her responsibilities are keeping her away from happiness, with her family, from her friends, and has also broken her chances for romance with anyone. I don’t think that is a coincidence that her family was brought forward and the fact of Marinette’s need/want to keep secrets will be tested with Alya. Marinette’s vehemence of keeping her identity a secret is also influenced by the events of Chat Blanc
Speaking of Chat Blanc, within this episode Bunnix explains briefly why she was chosen to be the bearer of the Rabbit miraculous and it was because she knows how to keep a secret. Alya has constantly been surrounded by the challenges of being Trustworthy. Key episodes this season being Sentibubbler, Gang of Secrets, Optygami and now Rocketear.
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I feel as if this has much more weight on it now after everything that has happened in this season so far.
Previously Alya has been shown how trustworthy she can or can’t be. In Puppeteer 2, Alya insists she didn't tell Nino about Marinette’s crush on Adrien when she clearly had. 
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She clearly did tell Nino, or accidentally told him because otherwise there wouldn’t be the narrative of Alya and Nino trying to get Adrien and Marinette alone together etc.
I do trust Alya, but she has a recurring theme where there is too much emphasis on the word trustworthy which insinuates that this is a challenge for her character. 
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Alya can als be quite pushy. Like in Sapotis when she got too swept up, and Trixx planted the notion of becoming a permanent miraculous holder, but he was also the one to help her realise to prove herself trustworthy. Trixx and Alya can also be very hard to say no to, they have a persuasive attitude, but it can also make people realise things.
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Alya can be very pushy when she gets swept up in “helping” Marinette get close to Adrien. Reflekdoll and Gigantitan always have rubbed me the wrong way with Alya’s role. In Gigantitan, Marinette wanted to help that woman up the stairs who had baby August in the stroller, Alya insisted for Marinette to stay, until the woman was really struggling and Marinette just went, and even then Alya was in her ear saying to hurry up as Adrien was coming.
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If Alya just let Marinette be everything would have been fine. In all actuality, if Adrien saw Marinette he would probably help and it would start a lovely, genuine conversation considering he also wanted to help, but couldn’t. It’s in their blood to help. Both Marinette and Adrien earnt the miraculous because they were the only ones around who cared enough to help people. 
In Reflekdoll it was both the fault of Marinette and Alya that Juleka went in on herself. Marinette didn’t allow Juleka to speak as she bombarded her with questions. Alya was pushing because of the time crunch and pushed Marinette and Adrien together, she had completely overlooked Juleka’s feelings as well. Marinette didn’t completely get blinded as she did try to double check that Juleka was alright. 
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Alya can just be impulsive sometimes. Most of the time when she is told to stop, like in Sapotis when Marinette tells her to slow down in trying to find out Ladybugs identity, and then when Ladybug tells her she can’t tell anyone, Alya complies.
Being impulsive is what Alya has in common with Chat Noir with his self-sacrificial tendencies and emotions clouding judgement.
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She is aware of getting ahead of herself anyways
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Alya and Marinette are both making mistakes. Alya made a huge one in Optygami because her judgement is impared due to her emotions towards Nino. Marinette has made and is making a lot of mistakes. The huge ones are those which take time to surface, like what happened with Chloe and what is happening with Chat Noir. Marinette decided to reward Alya by giving her the miraculous permanently. I don't think she should have done that, at least not yet. It's a huge risk on top of another. Marinette knew from the beginning that Hawkmoth knew who the holders were, yet still decided to give them out to the same people, however with Chloe it was totally different. She should have been open with her in the first place. 
Marinette has also always been super lenient with Alya as well, first with allowing Nino and Alya knowing their alter egos (although Alya knew of Nino in the first place), but again a huge risk really, as we saw in Catalyst, they got distracted, and their emotions getting themselves turned into scarlet. 
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Although, I do understand that there was a time crunch.
Marinette often has a double-standard and bias when it comes to Alya. For instance, in Style Queen Marinette was going to give the Bee miraculous to Alya as well. 
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Why!??? When Alya already had been using the Fox Miraculous. Ladybug’s decision to constantly not tell Chloe is what led to Miracle Queen. It was not fair. Sorry, there is no way I can really excuse that. She was so blind-sided by judgement in that decision.
However that has equally been counteracted by proving she is trustworthy, that she is loyal and also looks for the facts. Alya can also be level-headed like the approach of finding out who was framing Marinette in Ladybug. 
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She has been a big help for Marinette as well, as we see in Mr. Pigeon 72.
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She was a miracle in Sentibubbler as well! As she kept her cool and thought ahead. She still made a couple of mistakes like telling Chat Noir it’s a two person operation etc. Not her fault though. Nothing said in that moment would have helped.
Alya is definitely a huge asset for Marinette to have, by running ideas and taking some of the pressure off of her shoulders and ultimately being able to think for herself.
It all comes back to Bunnix in Chat Blanc as well saying she can keep a secret, so I fear what is to come. Alix has constantly been the one shown to have a rational head. Reverser being the big one, but also the little comments when with the girls like in Gang of Secrets and Gigantitan. 
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I have a feeling that Marinette’s leniency with Alya may end up being a mistake. I do think it’s good some of her weight has been lifted, but now it seems she is being a little arbitrary. Alya we know has a huge target on her back. She may have saved herself in Sentibubbler, but now she has told Nino everything, against the wishes of Marinette. Although, Marinette says that she does trust Alya when Alya fixes things at the end of Rocketear.
I think Alya makes this decision as she is firm in her belief that secrets shouldn’t be kept when it comes to loved ones, especially those who are meant to be your partner (best friend, boyfriend/girlfriend). I also wonder whether this decision to tell Nino was also influenced because Marinette was easy on her after what happened in Optygami, thinking Marinette wouldn’t mind. Plus she got around it all in Puppeteer 2.
Marinette is actively going against her own beliefs (and what she was told by Master Fu) by utilising the same miraculous holders. I understand that she is the new guardian and she is making her own rules, but she also saw sense in keeping things secret, because of her own identity, and how she refuses to allow Chat Noir to know who the holders are as well. It is way too risky, whatever Marinette is up to. She is not allowing Chat Noir his right to know as much as she does; they are meant to be partners, but it doesn’t feel like that. That is all due to her fear of Chat Blanc and its events. She is now heavily reliant on Alya/ Rena Rouge. That is going to cause a huge rift once Chat becomes wise to their dynamic as we are seeing blatantly now in Rocketear. 
What happens if Alya slips up again and it’s huge this time. What is the secret that Bunnix is referring to that makes Ladybug/Marinette realise that she is the one to be trusted with the Rabbit miraculous? When will that be? Will Marinette have a falling out with Alya after finding out that Alya told Nino that she was still working as covert Rena?
I think what Marinette has decided was untimely. These kids shouldn’t be dealing with this, but they are. They are feeling way too much and are still trying to learn about themselves. It is not fair. They are bound to make decisions. I just have this unsettled feeling that there is too much concentration around this topic to overlook. I don’t think that Marinette is going to be best pleased when she finds out that Alya has told Nino everything, especially after all that she has sacrificed with Luka and Adrien and as Rocketear stated about her family again. I think the pressure will get to her again.
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