#and my day gets infinitely better

[bonesandthebees]

man I'm glad I decided to read a game of thrones as a way to take notes for how to write rose... I just read about a huge battle with thousands of soldiers and it was so well done... now am I going to write a battle? no fucking way I don't hate myself that much but I know HOW to execute it in a very easy to visualize way and that's what's important

#also i'm just enjoying the book guys i literally tried watching one ep of the show and i was so furious at the changes they made #like are there issues with the way the book treats female characters yes but does it treat them INFINITELY BETTER THAN THE SHOW also yes #especially catelyn stark she's probably my favorite character so far #those showrunners just really hated women it's so fucking obvious #anyway my goal is to finish this book in the next few days #i have been slowly chipping away at it since february of this year #I want to specify i have actually picked up and read this book less than 10 times total this year #so like yes it's slow going but i am not a slow reader i just dont actually pick up the damn book a lot #i wanna get back into reading books more i am trying over here #anyway sorry for all the rambling in the tags i am so tired #ramblings

[daisywords]

it's Gideon the Ninth Friday in this house

#it was on my radar for a long time as a book a lot of people liked and found fun #and a few people disliked #anyway as it does it took a bajillion years for me to actually get around to reading it #but I have to say #I did not expect it to be so appealing to me personally #that was not the vibes I got from existing peripherally to it on the internet #not even just generic ''oh this is even better than I expected'' #it's like. oh. was not prepared for this to cater very specifically to a variety of my tastes #seriously I am obsessed with every single character #very invested in what's going on. surprised at every turn but also getting my expectations confirmed in the best ways #and asdfghjk even the wandering around infinite house with a huge variety of abandoned rooms #as if that's not something that shows up regularly in my dreams and influences my own writing #the specific loyalties and relationship structures also #anyway had the day off work today and mostly I have just been cozy and reading #with zero desire to do anything else

[thewolvesof1998]

WIP Poll Game

I was tagged by @buddierights @forthewolves @exhuastedpigeon @wikiangela @eddiediaztho @wildlife4life @loserdiaz @disasterbuckdiaz

Rules: Make a 24 hour poll with the names of your wips and then for whichever wins, write one sentence for every vote it gets.

Keeping this short and sweet with fics I need to finish. I am very busy with work and moving atm so I’m not sure when I’ll get around to writing but hopefully, this will motivate me to put aside some time to write.

Tagging: @alyxmastershipper  @try-set-me-on-fire @jesuisici33 @bekkachaos @911-on-abc @hippolotamus @shitouttabuck @911onabc @your-catfish-friend  @ladydorian05 @watchyourbuck @king-buckley @chaoticgremlinwholikescheese

#thewolvesof1998 writes #Buddie #9-1-1 #poll games #my wips #wips #fic: Under the guise of violence #fic: let me check you out #fic: you make bad days infinitely better #fic: for you mi amor I choose death #fic: alright cowboy go get em

[alkalinefrog]

AWWW Dom, Lu, I miss you guys too!! 😭❤️❤️❤️ Dude it's been way too long, I'm crying at all your sweet tags BAWWWW you guys are always so kind!! We'll see if I get super into it, but I'm a nerd for cool theming and clever source-based powers and the literary references have me foaming at the mouth so things are already looking up! I've missed talking to you guys about stuff 🥹🥹🥹

Edit: forgot to tag you skgalabakaav @queersturbate @olympiansally

#oh my god youve had to sit through hijack for over a year I'M SO SORRY LMFAO #hijack's still happening because i'm ugly and i'm proud BUT twia and their friend are dragging me kicking and screaming into bsd so #in answer to dom tho dazais like if light had a stupid sense of humour and took himself infinitely less seriously and i'm here for it #having the same va helps that's part of how they sold me on it LMFAO just like our dn days forreal 😭❤️ #slogging thru s1 of the anime rn because its supposed to get better after that akdhakshkabaka #ask #sorta #queersturbate #olympiansally

[b0y-artist]

What if we were plushies and held hands? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺👉👈

@onemanburritoapocalypse @voidvendetta @wholesomenightmare @noodleshark @voidbughideout

I LOVE YOU'S ALL SO MUCH AND WILL PERSONALLY GRILL YOU WITH CHEESE ON TOP 🤧🤧🤧🥺🥺🥺 GET IN THE AIR FRYER.

#i love you guys so much #whenever i talk to this group #my whole day gets infinitely better #all of you are so creative!!! #AND YOUR ART #WOAG. #you are incredible people 🥺🥺🥺 #WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 💕❤️💕❤️💕💕💕💕❤️💕💕💕❤️💕💕💕❤️💕❤️💕💕❤️💕💕❤️❤️❤️💕❤️❤️💕💕💕💕❤️❤️❤️💕

[whlskr]

Visibility and vulnerability and being laid bare against it all

#I don't like being looked at and I get these bouts of anxiety over doing the right thing and performing correctly #The permanence of mistakes these days makes me sick to my stomach sometimes #I'm also literally sick today #My art #My original caption for this was How it feels to chew anxiety gum #Which I think was better tbh #I found my favorite round brush in infinite painter and I'm overjoyed by it

[1980s-jean-ralphio]

anyway the wedding was beautiful.

I had a wonderful birthday.

we get to see kota ibushi this week which still does not feel real to me.

and i hugged my best friend for the first time in four years so all is right in my world 🥹

#we spent 12 hours together yesterday and cried the entire time lmao #and I get to see her every day until Saturday which is just 🥹🥹 #also making the situation infinitely better is she revealed she’s moving back here FOR GOOD 😭😭 #(not until January but still) #personal stuff #this means nothing to any of you but my GOD a huge piece of my heart is coming back #anyway I’ll definitely be here for b & g so I’ll see you guys then! #tj talks

[running-in-the-dark]

I guess it just feels like I'm stuck in a cage made entirely by my own thoughts. that sounds so dramatic but it does feel like that.

like, it's not just that I'm scared of things so everything is kind of hard. it's that there's many, many things I would like to do or at least try, but I can't make myself do them. not 'oh this is a bit difficult so I'm afraid to try', no, it's not. an option. there's no path from 'want to do this' to 'I'm doing this'. I can't convince myself to do it. there's no tricks or anything. my brain, the useless thing that I need to do literally everything, doesn't allow it.

#sometimes there's moments where I'm so impulsive that I can get past it by being so quick that there's no time to put up the walls #but even then. doing the thing feels like torture 99% of the time. it's not like I get to enjoy it. #I don't know how to explain that without sounding like I just feel sorry for myself and like I don't want to get better #because that's all I want #but getting better depends entirely on this stupid brain. like I don't know how else to explain it? how can I do something if that thing #won't allow it? #yes it's like it is a separate thing and I'm not involved in what it does most of the time. is that also not normal? probably #there's no comfort zone there's only a prison that I've been stuck in all my life and no matter what I've tried it's not enough to get out #and everyone blames me for not trying hard enough and that gets added to the infinite list of reasons why I'm just bad #just do this! just do it anyway! just do it scared! just just just #Idk. I just need to stop overthinking! that'll fix everything! if only that was an option! I could get drunk every day or try drugs I guess. #but the drinking thing didn't make anything better last time. #fuck I just want to stop trying. isn't it ever going to be enough? when do I get to start being an actual person? I just want to feel real #and that's enough emo bullshit for today and for this week and this month and probably this century

[foolishnpd]

"oh no I can't self diagnose a disorder because it doesn't really disorder me and doesn't meet the requirements to be considered disordering"

*the disorders i'm professionally dxed with are equally as not-disordering but i still definitely experience Symptoms and Problems*

*it's also actually quite disordering i'm just very incredibly good at not letting disorders visibly interfere with my life, but yet I suffer*

#lilyroaring #actually npd #self diagnosis #i AM disordered #i'm just extraordinarily good at suppressing them #i show my disorders who's BOSS and I will beat them into submission if i have to #it may not affect my relationships or my work #but oh BOY if i won't have a total breakdown about being imperfect and inferior every other week :D #followed by an almost delusional high of how i'm infinitely better than everyone ever #and then getting pissed about not being treated like that and not getting 238748903987489 compliments and attention points a day #totalllyyyy not disordering whatsoever :) #well i mean. the highs are actually pretty good i wouldn't call them an issue #it's just an issue when it spirals back down into the truth of how not perfect and not incredible i am #those spirals fucking suck ass fr. monokuma would cream himself at the levels of despair i experience in those moments

[minarcana]

#ok guess what fuckers youre going to be on another tag ramble adventure with me #ive been afflicted with the same images in my brain tumbling around and the only way to free my brain is to write them out #and anyways i have been contemplating wol au uri for a bit due to various reasons (he came up and then i got this image and couldnt be free #shb with uri as the wol is. after killing vauthry. he is SO fucked up that raha STILL wont just let him die #he was supposed to have raha send him to the rift with the light and let him die there but now that he cant stop him rahas taking it himsel #and theres the whole. 'no we really cannot have the wol die.' thing. #that makes it infinitely worse to uri. him just yelling through blood to let him die! let him have his turn! he WANTS to die! #the idea of bring told that the wol CANT die makes it so much more unfair to him #'you wouldnt know what to do if i died? i didnt know what to do for years after louisoux died! i still dont know what to do without moenbry #da! papalymo can sacrifice himself and everyone adapts! shtola has thrown herself to the lifestream twice! minfilia died! i had to stay sil #ent and let ryne choose her own path if she died or not! i cant tell people that i would be lost yet everyone gets to tell ME that? #do you think i am better than them do you think them worth less why do they have the right to die and i do not!' #he is SO SO SO much worse as a wol and it falls out in one outburst after hes quizzed as to why he thought he could sacrifice himself #but he also realizes that its really fucked up to say that aloud so yknow. yknow what. yknow. #hell bottle up all his feelings and then one day hell either die or start crying and it looks like he aint allowed to die! #he still takes the aid from ardbert at amaurot with the statement that #'if i dont try and save who i might then ill never be able to face moenbryda' #anyways cannot stop thinking about me giving uri the echo like 'this will be funny!' and hes just 'my life has become infinitely worse' #HEAD IN MY HANDS

[newfruits]

yay yay yay im homeeeee im so glad to be back in my apartment. staying with my family is tough and the house is bad too and then on top of it my brother and dad caught covid. so im very glad to be home and get to chill alone until i go to my partners house on new years eve for a party 🥳🎉

#as long as i dont develop symptoms of course. and i just let them know about it in case they would prefer i not come #cause of the risk of transmission. #my family was going to drive me back on the 31st but i was really not comfortable with the whole thing #staying with sick people then immediately going to a party is just not okay. this way i can isolate for 2 days to watch for symptoms #in other news i need to call the internet provider for my apt to get them to fix my ethernet port #i brought my desktop back w me #im so excited about it!!!! also idk if i mentioned it but i got a drawing tablet for xmas too :0 !!!! #its like another monitor thats a touchscreen and its wonderful. infinitely better than my old screenless drawing pad #glub glub

[000png]

will zero finally go back to school... stay tuned and find out

#not to keep using this blog as a diary but ANYWAYS #so got confirmation i'm basically in the middle exit phase so my last day will probably be in mid-december #which is actually really good timing all things considered #so i can either plan to get a new job at the beginning of the new year OR think about going back to school #starting during spring is kind of awkward so unless I find a really good situation i'd probably go for fall of 2024 #tuition is obviously something i have to think hard about since i'm also balancing a mortgage... but the benefit of me doing nothing but #work my ass off for the last 4 years is that i do have the money saved. like unless i go to a super prestigious school i can most likely #afford it on my own. ofc the question is am i willing to spend it all for a degree that might not even be of any benefit to me. who knows #i also don't even know what i'd go back for. it wouldn't be pure CS but probably something adjacent or bio-related #another reason I want to go back to school is honestly for social reasons. networking and finding new friends #i'm not the most outgoing person but in an academic environment i was infinitely better at socializing than I am now lmao #and sharing classes with folks will definitely help. i'd definitely pick up TAing again as well if possible #i also talked with my manager a bit about this and he was also like yeah at your age and situation now is actually a really good time #anyways. we shall see #0.txt

[thewolvesof1998]

⛅️

Hi Ashley Darling! How are you? Can I just say I LOVE your new icon 💖💖💖

🌤️Share your favourite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

So this is barely written, like, no dialogue tags or description etc because the idea came to me late last night but I absolutely love Eddie not knowing queer slang/gestures/internet humour:

“Is he?” She does a gesture that resembles a flopped hand, Eddie just raises his eyebrows amused and completely baffled. “Gay, Eddie, is he gay?” “What does a hand flop have to do with being gay?” “Geez your old” “Hey!” “You didn’t answer my question” “No...maybe, I don’t know” “Wooooow” He could practically see the sarcasm dripping from the word.  “Fuck off” “Hey I’m just trying to help here” “Well go be helpful somewhere else”

Can you guess what wip this is from??

Thanks for your ask xxx

#wolf gets mail #wolf answers #buddie #9-1-1 #my wip #thewolvesof1998 writes #fic: you make bad days infinitely better

[basslinegrave]

can we go back?

#:((( #miss old mmos #and online games in general #as a kid i would be on superhry or agame or ggg etc every day checking out a new game and then replaying my faves #many of those are completely gone now #replaced by more but mainly worse games #like the elsagate bs and cheap looking 3d bootlegs of other games like wheres the creativity #not saying older kids games were more creative (at least 50% were dressup games and you had stuff like angry bird clones etc) #but they looked better and there were a ton of timeless staples that every kid knew and kept coming back to #but when it comes to these 3d worlds 9yo me was fucking amazed #even if it was really low poly and simple i was mesmerized #but it also came with a sense of dread (many times empty worlds or muted colors that just looked sad like that one 3d pigeon game) #but i also miss websites that barbie poly pocket and disney had #and pixel chix etc i could play some minigames infinitely and never get bored #hmm #thoughts are being thunk

[wehavecometoanend--maybe]

handed in my hw exactly 1h late 😌 this week is not going well for me

#wish i was still friends witch my old highschool friend who was a bad influence #but at least i had someone who was down to get drunk every day of the week and would let me bum infinite amount of cigarettes off her <3 #i hope she's doing better (genuinely) but i'm nostalgic for self destructive days (hating myself today) #p

[toastsnaffler]

istg one of these days.......

#ya know that post thats like texting lesbians: its throw bowling balls down the stairs day u better be game #one of my fave posts ever in the world #anyway my lesbian flatmate texts like the straight female friend part of that post and i love her but its killing me #its endearing but its so hard not to read it as flirty stoppitttt im already dedicating so much work to repressing this little crush 😭 #ALSO THAT POST THATS LIKE FLIRTING W GIRLS WILL HAVE U ADDING :3 TO UR TEXTS literally so true but I dont think she means it like that 😭😭 #like she talks to everyone that way I remember when I first met her me + my ex spent ages trying to work out if she was gay #bc we were so sure she had a gay vibe but every text felt like it was pointing the other way..... the vindication when I found out she WAS #anyway my resolve weakens with every 😘 emoji like im already thinking abt it dont give me any more ideas !!!! #its not even embarrassing anymore like how am i supposed to exist near someone like her WITHOUT ever having a gay thought #so im not sorry if she sees this. i take rejection like a champ dont be shy #but genuinely tho i dont think shes interested shes just cute like that. and idw make things weird cuz we're still living together next yr #itd be suchh a pain if i made things awkward right when we need to find a place. and anyway my best case is our 3rd flatmates WORST #i wouldnt do that to him god forbid #buuuut...... nope ok enough of that im going back to bed its almost 1am #this is what HAPPENS when u have insomnia tuning into the crazy radio every night #need to get onto dating apps and find smth new to distract me before this gets out of hand....... buttttt i dont want to >:| #its ok my patience is infinite i like playing the long game. i was into my ex for 2 and a half years before i made any moves #i can wait this one out too either itll happen eventually or itll pass. we're good #ok thats GOODNIGHT from me if u read this far wow ur nosy arent u...... jk ily sleep well everyone #muah all round #.diaries