#and my interracial relationship is not privileged but that doesn't mean i lose white privilege

[nonbinarymlm]

Has anyone ever used "straight passing" in a way that doesn't stigmatize being closeted, erased, and/or misgendered? "Perceived straight" may be a better term as it doesn't act like it's something a queer person is inherently doing, and it's a term that can apply to anyone because almost anyone can be perceived as straight in a society erases everyone that isn't straight.

We need to be able to talk about the treatment of different relationships without making assumptions about that the treatment of the relationship inherently means privilege for the people inside the relationship. It's more complicated than that. Bi (and probably other mspec) women and men often face higher rates of abuse than straight or gay women and men respectively. I don't know specific stats on nonbinary people, but trans people in general also face higher rates of abuse. Trans people who are being misgendered by being perceived as straight are literally being misgendered. That's. Not. A. Privilege.

It's time to retire "passing" language from sexuality. If someone is intentionally misrepresenting their LGBTQ+ sexuality to be seen as straight, that's called being closeted. If they're being been as straight without intentionally trying to be, that's called being erased.

#pass #loving queue #critique #biphobia #transphobia #misgendering mention #erasure #like it doesn't make any sense! #a gay couple might pretend to be friends and as straight or gay people might fake straight relationships #and yet they're never ever called straight passing #a gay couple might be perceived as two friends and pass as straight without trying because straightness is treated as a default #this is erasure and oppression and being closeted #it doesn't become privilege for bi and trans and mspec and ace people to be closeted and erased #it might be a helpful tradeoff for physical/financial safety but making tradeoffs for physical/financial safety isn't a privilege!!! #there's nothing necessarily about a person that will determine if they're ~straight passing~ or not besides being gender non-conforming #and we've already got a word for that #~straight passing is all about the relationship someone is in but the relationship privilege does NOT determine the privilege of the person #i am trans and my boyfriend is cis and i am white and he is not and i don't have cis privilege now and he doesn't have white privilege #that's not how this works??? #and my interracial relationship is not privileged but that doesn't mean i lose white privilege #people are not just the relationships they're in!!!