#and my rent is going to be due and i have zero money

[katyswrites]

don't call me 'baby'

PART 10 | SERIES

Pairing: Steve Harrington/fem!reader

Warnings: Sugardaddy!Steve, SMUT (18+), angst, mentions of pregnancy/a pregnancy scare, mentions of food and alcohol, unprotected p in v, daddy kink, oral sex (f receiving), creampie, ddlg dynamics, swearing, alcohol use, smoking, age gap, no use of y/n

Wordcount: 10.4K

A sugar daddy modern AU, a whirlwind summer romance in Italy, and two people from completely different walks of life, somehow finding each other in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. But, what will happen when summer ends?

PART 10 | meet me in the afterglow

FOUR MONTHS LATER

Your walk to work was chilly enough to warrant a coat. That was perhaps the thing you missed least about home in the U.S. - even though the winters certainly got cold here, it was nowhere near the sub-zero temperatures you had grown up with during the coldest time of year. Maybe the only thing you missed was snow - in all of your time living here, you had only gotten a brief dusting once, and it had melted by the following day.

Still, a week out from Christmas, you now needed to wrap something warm around yourself as you walked down the street, heading closer to the city center as your shift was due to start. 

You were technically two minutes late to your shift, the coffee shop busy enough to have a line going out the door when you arrived. Yet, your manager Francesco said nothing - a small spark of joy in your day. 

You didn’t necessarily need to go back to work - Steve’s money had yet to run out. But, you felt good about earning your own money - and, the less you had to draw on his remaining funds, the less you had to think about him.

You hadn’t seen or spoken to Steve since the night of your argument. Well, that was only partially true - you had received one piece of communication from him. It came a few days later - you had been moping in your apartment, having barely left your room for days, when an envelope arrived. It had his familiar writing and wax seal, with another wad of cash and a letter made out to you:

I promise this is the last you’ll hear from me. I am a man of my word, so I promise to help provide for you until you’re finished with school. I’ll be transferring enough money to your account to cover all of your expenses, so no need to worry about your rent, food, anything of the sort… I really do want you to be able to focus on school, okay? So, please don’t protest, or try to send the money back. Please feel free to use the credit card if you need to. 

I’m sorry it ended this way. We both knew it was going to, but I apologize if I said anything out of line the other night. I truly do wish you the best. 

Take care,

Steve

Reading it had been a punch to the gut. The formality of it, the finality of it… you would’ve rather that you never heard from him again. You had stashed the letter in a box under your bed, and not looked at it since.

A few weeks after that, you had pregnancy scare. It was silly, really - but, your period was late, and if was the first conclusion your mind had jumped to. You had called Robin in a panic, begging her to come home - she did, with four different brands of pregnancy tests. Those 15 minutes of waiting for results were the most agonizing of your life - then, upon seeing them all negative, you fell to your knees and burst into tears.

“It’s okay,” Robin had cooed, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “You’re good it was a false alarm - you’re probably just late because of stress -”

“I know,” you sobbed. “I just -”

“What is it?”

You then had sat up, chest heaving as you sobbed.

“He’s really gone isn’t he?”

Robin held you in her arms that night as you cried yourself to sleep.

To your knowledge now, he had gone back to the U.S. - was he still in Chicago? Or, did he go back to New York? You realized it was better for you to not ask these questions, or to think of him at all. As the weeks had turned into months, you found yourself thinking of him a little less each day - but you still thought of him. You saw him in the passersby as you walked down the street, in every car window, in every businessman walking through the door to order a coffee. Sometimes, you’d hear a laugh, or get a brief whiff of cigarette smoke, and swear it was him. But it never was - it never would be again.

The days had dragged on, but luckily, you often found yourself too busy to dwell too much on thoughts of Steve. Between work and school, your plate was pretty full. With graduation in mere weeks, you had spent the entire term studying and working on your thesis. Steve’s remaining money, at least, allowed you to work far less hours than you had before - a small blessing, you supposed. 

The day was moving pretty quickly, the morning rush busy enough that two hours flew by without much notice. It was only during the afternoon lull that you found yourself able to look up from the espresso machine - only to lock eyes with a familiar face through the window.

Eddie smiled back at you, waving. You couldn’t help but grin, and beckoned him to come inside. He bounded through the glass doors, bursting into the coffee shop with the infectious, chaotic energy he always carries with him.

“Bella, how are you?” he asked, leaning over the counter with a big grin.

“I’m okay,” you said, shrugging.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Just okay?”

“Oh well - you know, a bit stressed with the end of term and all. But, that’ll all be over soon.”

“I’m almost done, too - just finishing up my exams, all of that nonsense.”

“Do you have someone for your thesis?”

You nodded. “Professor Hopper - he’s always had a soft spot for me,” you said, smiling fondly, thinking of the seemingly-gruff. 

“I have Clarke - I don’t actually know how much he knows about photography, he teaches chemistry for godsake, but apparently it’s a hobby or something, so he’ll sign off on whatever I do,” Eddie said, laughing.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you - I actually have my own studio space now.”

“What? Eddie, that’s amazing!”

He grinned. “Thanks - I mean, I’m still technically freelance, but I’m hoping once I’m fully graduated more work will start coming in. But for now, I don’t mind having some spare time to practice with the band.”

You did your best to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“Right - don’t forget me when you make it as a big rockstar, Eddie.”

He let out a hearty laugh at that, the infectious kind that had you joining in - you hadn’t laughed like that in quite some time.

“You know, you should come by later to check it out,” Eddie said. “I mean, if you want -”

You thought for a moment, then nodded.

“Sure, why not - I get off in about a half hour -”

“Perfect,” he cried, clapping his hands together. “I’ll just wait around then - and, uh, can I get an espresso? Since I’m already here and all.”

You rolled your eyes, fighting a smile.

“Yeah, sure thing Munson - I’ll take my sweet time with it, just for you.”

The end of your shift flew by, and soon enough you were pulling off your apron, linking your arm in Eddie’s as he led you out the door and through the city.

The studio, as it turned out, was only a few blocks away. The space was small, but nice - a big glass storefront allowed plenty of light in, even with the fading sun, indicative of the short days of winter. Some of Eddie’s work hung framed on the walls - city scenes, candids of people on the street, bands in action at his favorite club… and even a few of you, from the project you posed for a few years ago.

“Wow - this is amazing, Eddie!” you exclaimed, glancing around the studio with genuine pride for your friend. You knew this was always the goal for him, what he always wanted to do.

“Grazie mille,” he said, beaming. 

“Do you have anything lined up?”

He nodded.

“Some - nothing too interesting. A few weddings, graduation photoshoots, things like that. Oh, do you want to see the photo lab?”

You let him lead the way into the back room, passing through a dimly-lit room with machines and equipment that you were sure you had no idea how to use. Newly developed photos were hanging around on clothespins, or spread across the table in the middle.

“Back there is the darkroom,” Eddie said, gesturing to a small door on the other side of the room. “But yeah, this is where the magic happens.”

“You develop all your pictures this way?” you asked, examining a few laid across the table.

He shook his head. “Not exactly - only the stuff I shoot on film. A lot of what I do is digital, and I edit that on my computer but… I really do love shooting film. I only really do that for specific things. Oh, which reminds me!”

He turned his back to you, rummaging through a filing cabinet until he produced a large manila envelope, extending it to you. You furrowed your brow, confused. You turned it to examine it properly - the only thing written on it was your name and a date, in Eddie’s telltale scrawl.

“What -”

“It’s those pictures I owe you, from your birthday party - sorry, it took me a while to get around to developing them.”

Oh. 

“Oh,” you said quietly, gripping the envelope a bit tighter. “Uh, thanks - that was really nice of you, Eddie.”

You were still staring down at the parcel in your hands, your hands shaking a bit - you had completely forgotten that Eddie had been taking pictures all night. Most likely because you had been a bit distracted at the time. But now…

“I think they turned out pretty nice, if you ask me,” Eddie said. “But, you can be the judge of that yourself.”

You pressed your mouth into a tight line, nearly feigning a smile as you finally met his eyes again. He was looking back expectantly, and you realized he wanted you to look at them now. 

“Oh, yeah,” you mumbled. “I guess I’ll just -”

You opened it up, sliding out the stack of photos - they were slightly bigger than the ones you had seen from a digital camera, on a beautiful matte paper that you knew must have not been cheap. This, you realized, was Eddie’s belated birthday gift to you.

You thumbed through the pictures - the first few were just candids of your friends on the dancefloor, or deep in conversation around the bar. There were a few of you and Robin, arms thrown around each other and smiling ear-to-ear.

There were quite a few solo shots of you, raising a glass to the camera, mid-laugh, or dancing - somehow, he had made it look like you truly were the center of attention, as if to tell people this is who we were there for! 

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, laughing quietly at a few of the shots, including one of Robin flipping off the camera as she kisses Vickie. Then, your smile dropped, because there he was.

Steve, looking as handsome as you remembered, but somehow also a stranger, or like a figment of your imagination. Somehow, a small part of your subconscious had convinced you over the last few months that perhaps he wasn’t real, a true figment of your imagination that had been too good to be true. But there he was, large as life, his arm wrapped around you as you smiled into the camera. You were smiling in his arms, a girl completely unrecognizable in some ways. In another photo, he’s pressing a kiss to your cheek as you laugh - you remembered that one being taken, that’s for sure. You gently trailed your fingers across the picture, as if you were hoping to reach in and pull that happy girl out, just to shake a bit of sense into her. You didn’t even realize you were crying until a fat wet teardrop his the page, rolling down and off the edge.

“Whoa - are you alright?” Eddie asked, his voice tinged with worry.

You jumped, having nearly forgotten that he was there at all. How long had you been staring at the pictures of Steve? For a few minutes, or hours? There was no way to know.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you said, the thickness in your voice betraying you. You pressed the heels of your hands under your eyes, willing the gentle tears to stop, sniffling.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked softly.

You laughed dryly, more hot tears welling up as you did.

“Nothing! I - they’re beautiful, Eddie. Really - thank you. You - you’ve really got a talent.”

Your voice wobbled a bit at the end, and you sniffled.

“I’m sorry, I - it’s nothing to do with you,” you assured him. “I just - I’ve been having a hard time lately.”

Eddie cocked his head, confused. Then, his eyes flitted down to the picture in your hands.

“Oh - I’m sorry, I - is this about him?” Eddie asked quietly, gesturing to the photos. You just nodded, avoiding his gaze again as you stuffed them back into the envelope.

“I didn’t know you two had broken up, I’m sorry -”

“We didn’t break up!” you snapped, harsher than intended. “Fuck, I - sorry, that came out wrong. We didn’t break up, because we were never exactly together. It’s just complicated.”

Eddie furrowed his brow. “Yeah, okay - well, I’m sorry to hear about your not-breakup. I guess I’m just a little surprised.”

“Why’s that?” you asked.

He shrugged. “I spent a long time looking at all of those when I was developing them - you know how they say pictures tell a thousand words?”

You nodded.

“Well - I take pictures of a lot of couples - weddings, engagement shoots, all of that… and I’ve never seen two people more in love than you two.”

You felt your chest tighten - maybe you were being a lovesick idiot at your party, but Steve?

You shook your head. “No - Eddie, it… it wasn’t like that. I can promise you that.”

Steve made that perfectly clear.

Eddie shrugged again. “I’m just telling you what I observed, that’s all.”

“Well maybe you should mind your business,” you grumbled.

Fuck. You shouldn’t have said that.

Eddie’s face fell a bit, and he slowly took a step back, hands shoved in his pockets.

“My apologies,” he whispered. He was hurt, that much was obvious. You mentally kicked yourself.

“No Eddie - I’m sorry, I didn’t -” 

You sighed, frustrated.

“Things have been, like, really weird the last few months and… it doesn’t matter.”

“I could tell,” he said, voice quiet. “You’ve been.. Distant.”

You nodded, the awkwardness filling the space between you two. You had fucked this up too, somehow.

“So,” you said, clearing your throat. “Uh, it’s getting late, and dark… I probably should head home.”

“Yeah, okay - good idea, I have some stuff to work on anyway.”

You both nodded, avoiding eye contact as you both headed out back into the studio.

It wasn’t until you were at the door that you turned to face Eddie again.

“The place really is beautiful… I’m proud of you,” you said sincerely. He offered a small smile in return.

“Thanks.”

“I also - the pictures are beautiful. Thank you for these, I - they’re great.”

“I’m sorry if they -”

“Don’t apologize,” you said firmly. “They’re great - you’ve really got a gift, you know.”

You could tell Eddie was fighting a real smile, a small win in your book.

“C’mon, you know my ego’s just fine on its own.”

You laughed, and without thinking, pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry I lost it a little earlier,” you whispered.

“It’s alright,” he said, pulling away. “Heartbreak is funny like that.”

You decided not to bother protesting his assessment this time, too tired to start a fight again just to feel something.

“Right, okay.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take out the photos with… him?” Eddie asked, gesturing down to the envelope.

“No, that’s alright - I’m a big girl, I can go through them. I’m definitely going to hang a few of these up though, so thanks again.”

“Take good care of yourself darling, alright? And come by any time - for any reason.”

It was an olive branch, an assurance that things were okay. You forced a smile, nodding.

“Thanks, Eddie - you’re a great friend, you know.”

You bid your farewells, and left the studio with a strange feeling settling within you. You pulled your coat a little tighter around you, stuffing the envelope underneath as you charged through the chilly evening air to the nearest bus stop.

You didn’t get home until nearly 6pm, the winter sky fully dark by then. By the time you walked a few blocks and up the stairs to your apartment, your face was stinging from the cold, the wind picking up more since that afternoon.

Robin was on the couch, a rerun of Friends playing on the TV.

“Hey! You’re back kind of late,” she remarked.

“Yeah - I ran into Eddie, funnily enough,” you replied, hoping you sounded nonchalant.

“Oh really? How is he? I miss him - we should really make a plan to hang out with him soon -”

“Yeah, for sure,” you said, kicking off your shoes and hanging your coat on the rack. “He’s good - I saw his new studio, it’s nice.”

“Oh, no way! That’s great - I need to go sometime -”

“Yeah, totally,” you said, absentminded. “Uh, I’ve got some stuff to do, but I’ll be out here later -”

“Maybe we can get takeout or something -”

“Yeah, perfect -” you tittered, closing your bedroom door behind you, eyes on the envelope in your hands.

You bit your lip, debating what to do. Part of you considered finding all of the pictures of Steve, and burning them. But, that felt a bit dramatic. You pulled out the stack again, sifting through until you found the shots of him. You couldn’t help but smile, looking at how happy the girl in the photos was - if only she knew how quickly things would fall apart that night. The photo of Steve kissing you cheek was your favorite - it was just full of pure, unbridled joy. The one after that was the one you stared at for quite some time, though. You were looking into the camera, grinning widely. Steve, however, wasn’t - no, he was looking at you. You stared at him for quite some time - and remembered Eddie’s words.

I’ve never seen two people more in love than you two.

You had thought it was crazy - but, in the picture, Steve was looking at you like you’d hung the stars. Like, if he didn’t have you, he’d be lost. He was looking at you with eyes full of love - you just hadn’t been looking.

You gasped, realizing what Eddie had seen that you couldn’t - maybe everything had meant more to Steve than he had let on. No, that was crazy - wasn’t it?

What happened next didn’t have much explanation - it was probably crazy. You found yourself Googling Steve’s company headquarters in Chicago - it couldn’t be this easy, could it? But it was.

A quick call through the directory brought you to his secretary, a bubbly woman who was more than happy to help. You pretended to be the secretary of a business partner you had remembered Steve mentioning, saying how you wanted to send a thank-you gift - it had been too easy to get his home address, really. And, a confirmation that he was back in Chicago.

The next morning, you sent out an envelope, sticking on international postage. You debated not putting your name on the return address, but ultimately decided to include it - he’d recognize the address anyway. When you dropped it at the post office, you walked away feeling a sense of relief - and, perhaps, just a bit unhinged. TIme would tell if anything came of it. But, at the very least, it felt like finally closing the chapter of your life that had been defined by Steve Harrington. And, that was a good thing… right?

********

The day before Christmas Eve, you received great news: confirmation that you had passed all of your exams, your thesis receiving glowing feedback from the professors in your department. Your degree, which studied Art History and Travel and Tourism Management, meant that you would actually be able to stay here - you hoped to work in tourism in some way right here in Rome, or perhaps work in one of the city’s many museums - being bilingual would help, and more importantly, it meant you never had to set foot back in the United States again, if you didn’t want.

Christmas brought its usual cheer and celebration, complete with mulled wine and a potluck dinner you and Robin held for some of the other foreign students you were friendly with, knowing they didn’t have families to go to for the holidays. Your graduation only brought extra festivities, including a speech prepared by Robin given as a toast at dinner, saying how proud she was of you (and, how jealous she was that you didn’t have to worry about schoolwork anymore). It was silly yet sincere enough to make you tear up and pull her into a big hug. Eddie and Jonathan even swung by for a bit, joining in on the celebration until the wee hours of the morning. Robin and Vickie were all over each otherYou ate and drank to your heart’s content before stumbling to bed, leaving cleanup in the kitchen for the morning.

The morning of Boxing Day, it turned out, was actually the afternoon, with you and Robin oversleeping. You, to your own relief, felt tired, but not too hungover - the same couldn’t be said for Robin and Vickie, who stumbled into the kitchen with grimaces on their faces and grumbles as a greeting.

You spent most of the day cleaning up from the last two days’ festivities, washing dishes and clearing away wrapping paper, wiping countertops and vacuuming just enough until your home felt semi-in order. 

You were still in your pajamas as it was getting dark again in the evening, a rarity these days. When Robin said she was heading out to dinner with Vickie and likely would be staying at her place that night, you bid her farewell, looking forward to some time alone to fully relax and unwind. 

It was several hours later, after scrounging together a dinner of Christmas leftovers and half-dozing on the couch while a movie played, that your doorbell rang. You sat up with a start, your heart jumping at the unexpected intrusion. You stumbled to the door, grumbling about who could possibly be here at this hour - maybe Robin decided to come back after all, and got locked out again? You were ready to playfully ridicule her when you opened the door. But when you saw who was standing on the other side, you froze.

Steve Harrington was there on your doorstep, barely illuminated in the dim light. His chest was heaving, his hair just a bit disheveled. His eyes widened when he saw you, and you imagined you did the same. Your heart plummeted to your stomach at the sight of him, so real and alive in front of you. Were you dreaming? Was this some sick prank?

Neither of you said anything for a moment, two mouths hanging open, searching for the words.

“It’s Christmas,” you blurted out, the first words you’ve said to him in over four months.

“It’s December 26th,” he replied, simply and casually.

“I - well, it’s still a holiday, kind of.”

“Yeah, I know - do you know how hard it is to catch a last-minute flight on Christmas?”

You just stood there in the doorway, unable to think of anything else to say - what the fuck?

“What are you doing here?” you asked, words biting. You were lashing out a bit, but you didn’t care - this moment right now reminded you of a similar one over the summer, when he came to your doorstep to explain how he wasn’t engaged. What was his excuse now?

“Why did you send me this?” he asked, holding up a familiar envelope - the photo.

Why did you? You weren’t certain of that answer yourself. So, you went with the first explanation that came to your head.

“It’s a good picture of you,” you said quietly.

He rolled his eyes.

“Do not - I don’t hear from you for months, then I get this in the mail - on Christmas Eve, mind you -”

“I’m sorry, were you supposed to hear from me?”

“I don’t know!” he cried. “Maybe?”

You scoffed. “You can’t be serious - you made it very clear that you never wanted to see me again.”

“I - what?”

“I wish you well? Take care? We ended things, Steve - what else was I meant to think?”

He sighed, his shoulders sagging.

“I don’t know. I guess part of me - it doesn’t matter. But, what am I supposed to make of this?” he asks, waving the envelope.

“I - Eddie gave me a bunch of pictures he took at my birthday party… I thought maybe you’d want that one.”

He took a tentative step closer towards you, gauging your reaction. You held your ground, not breaking eye contact.

“Is that the only reason?” he asked, voice low.

You felt your heartbeat quicken, your palms clammy - he really was just so handsome. Still, there was something so boyish about him, something that reminded you of why you fell for him in the first place. He had cut his hair a bit, his summer tan faded - and he looked tired. Then again, you probably did too - you suddenly became conscious of the fact that you were in your pajamas, still looking like you had just woken up - you wished you could disappear, never to be perceived again.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “The only reason.”

He was close enough now that you could see his Adam’s Apple bob as he gulped, his eyes glancing up and down your form as he took a deep breath.

“Tell me that, when you sent this, there wasn’t at least a small part of you that hoped I’d respond - that, when you sent this, you hoped I’d call, or show up here. If there wasn’t, I’ll walk away right now, and you’ll never have to see me again.”

There it was - everything laid out on the table. So much was still unsaid - but, it was obvious that he also had been hurting the last few months, that he didn’t want this to end, maybe even nearly as much as you did. 

“You really flew all the way here because I sent you a photo?” you whispered.

He nodded. “Of course I did.”

“You realize how crazy that is, right?”

He chuckled dryly.

“Well, they do say it makes you do crazy things.”

“...it?” you asked, voice wavering.

He nodded.

Oh.

“Come inside,” you murmured. “It’s pretty cold out there.”

As soon as the door was shut behind him, he began spiraling into a new explanation.

“I hope you know that I didn’t come here just to - you’re right, it is kind of crazy, but I didn’t know what else to do, after everything that happened -”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” you said, cutting him off. “I don’t want to talk at all.”

You both stood there for a moment, eyes locked on eachother. Then, as if reading each other’s minds, you both moved at once - you crashed your lips into his, fast and desperate. He sighed against your lips, pulling you close as his tongue slipped into your mouth. 

You felt like crying - you had missed him so much, more than you had realized - his voice, his warmth, his scent - it brought everything flooding back, the feelings you had buried in an attempt at self-preservation. But now, as you kissed him, you felt the tears well up, stinging your eyes as they rolled down your face, hot and fast.

“Whoa - baby, it’s okay - what’s wrong -”

Baby. 

“Nothing,” you cried, wiping the tears away. “I just - I really fucking missed you.”

You felt stupid to admit it, but then again, didn’t he come close to confessing that himself just a few moments ago?

“I know, I know, baby - you have no fuckin’ idea -”

Another kiss, passionate and apologetic.

“I didn’t mean any of what I said that night,” you gasped, pulling him closer. “I was just so scared -”

“I know, me too, baby - m’sorry -”

Baby. Babybabybaby.

He was holding your face between his hands now, backing you up until you were pressed against the wall, his lips finding yours again. He titled his head down to nuzzle at your throat, pressing his lips to the sensitive skin there. You tipped your head back, giving him full access to do as he pleased. He kissed and nipped at your neck, until you were moaning and crying out his name, pulling at his coat until it fell off of his shoulders. You twisted your hands in his button-down, his hands squeezing tighter on your waist in response.

“Fuck, Steve,” you breathed. “I’m sorry -”

“Stop with that,” he said, firmly taking your face in his hands again, catching your lips in another gentle kiss. “You’re right, I just realy don’t want to talk anymore -”

Then he was kissing you again, swallowing your noises as you whined his name, fingers gripping his hair.

“Bedroom, now,” you told him. “Please -”

“Yeah, okay.”

He couldn’t keep his hands off of you, both of you stumbling down the small hallway and into your bedroom, Steve slamming the door closed behind him with his foot.

“No Robin?” he asked, lips finding your neck again.

“No - ah! She’s at Vickie’s tonight -”

“Thank Christ,” he growled. “I don’t know how quiet I’m capable of being right now.”

He was apparently as desperate as you were, lips finding yours hungrily as he pulled your oversized t-shirt over your head, eyes practically rolling to the back of his head when he saw your breasts.

“No bra?” he asked.

“I was lounging around, until you showed up -”

“Thank god,” he practically snarled, his hands finding the small of your back to pull you close.

You reached between yourselves, unbuttoning his shirt, fingers slipping as they shook with anticipation. He reached down to help you, until he eventually shrugged the shirt off. You wrapped your arms around him, pressing your bare chest to his, nearly crying again from the contact.

“I really missed you,” he whispered, a man ruined. “I never thought I’d be able to have you like this again -”

“None of that,” you murmured, pressing a finger to his lips. “It’s alright.”

You just stared at him, running your hands down his chest as you took a deep breath.

“I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” he asked, face flickering with concern. “Oh god, are - are you seeing someone else? I didn’t even ask -”

“No! No, nothing like that,” you assured, biting your lip. “I just - do you remember the night of my birthday on our trip, on the rooftop?”

He nodded. “That was a really nice night.”

“I haven’t been totally honest with you,” you admitted, heart racing as you were ready to lay out the thing you had been terrified to admit aloud.

“About what?” he asked softly, cupping your cheek gently with his palm.

“Remember when I said something in Italian, and you asked what it meant? And I just said it meant I loved the gift, the star thing?”

He nodded. You took a deep, shuddering breath.

“That wasn’t exactly true. I - I said that I was in love with you,” you managed, voice quivering at the end. “That’s why I was so scared - I didn’t realize until I said it… I had broken our rule, our number one rule -”

“Hey, hey -” he cooed, shaking his head. “Did you mean it?”

You hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah - I still do.”

The few seconds that passed after that had your stomach doing somersaults - what if he still didn’t feel that way, and everything he had said in the doorway was bullshit? You thought you were going to be sick -

But his face softened, his eyes glistening - was he going to cry?

“Fuck the rules. I stopped following those a long time ago,” he said.

Your heart fluttered, your face heating.

“Are you saying -”

“How did you say it in Italian again?” he asked. “I’m sorry, I’ve been slacking on my lessons without you around.”

You laughed. “Oh, um, it’s sono innamorato di te. It translates directly as I’m in love with you, or I’m falling for you.”

He nodded. “Well then - sono innamorato di te.”

You felt like your chest was about to explode, and before you knew it, you were crying again. He was too, you realized, his cheeks glistening with tears as he choked a sob with laughter.

“We could’ve saved ourselves a lot of trouble if we both just said that in the first place,” he said, reaching to wipe away some of your tears.

“How long?” you asked.

“Since the night of the gala I brought you to. So… longer. I guess I win.”

You sobbed again, Steve swallowing the sound with another kiss. It’s wet and salty with tears, a mess of apologies and confessions.

“Steve - I -”

“I know, baby,” he whispered, kissing your salty cheeks. “It’s alright - I’m here now -”

The conversation truly stopped after that - you couldn’t keep your hands off of one another, shedding clothes until you were nude and devouring each other with desperation unlike anything you had ever felt before.

Steve was pressing his lips between your breasts when you asked, voice breathy and filled with need.

“Steve - I need you, please -”

“Mm - yeah, okay -”

Before he could move, you were reaching down to grasp his cock in your hand. He gasped, pupils blown as his head thumped back against the wall. The noise that came out of him was unholy, wrecked and ruined as you brushed your thumb along his leaking tip.

“Christ, baby -”

“Can I suck you off, please?” you asked, desperate to make him come undone. 

“Honey - you can’t - I just, I wanna fuck you so bad… I won’t last if I let you get your mouth on me, baby.”

You pouted, even as your heart raced with the thrill of knowing you’d have him inside you again.

“Next time,” he said, “I swear.”

A promise of a next time, of a thousand more times - you started kissing him again, lips bruising his - losing yourself in any drink or drug would never compared to losing yourself in Steve Harrington, you decided.

“Get on the bed,” he muttered, gently pushing you back. You did as he asked, falling back onto the mattress gently as he joined you, face hovering inches from yours.

His hair was a mess, pupils blown and lips glossy. He just shook his head, as if in disbelief.

“What?” you asked.

“You’re just so beautiful,” he breathed. 

You felt your face heat, and you buried your face in your hands.

“Shut up.”

“About you? Not likely.”

Before you could come up with a clever remark, he was kissing your neck again, his lips traveling down slowly between the valley of your breasts, taking his time - he was going to leave bruises, you already knew.

But he didn’t stop, traveling down, down, down - 

“What are you -”

“I never said I didn’t want to taste you first,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh. “I miss having my mouth on you so fuckin’ much -”

“Fuck,” you gasped. “You’re unreal -”

“Says you,” he retorted. Whatever you planned to say next died on your lips, anything resembling a coherent thought dissolving as his lips found your cunt.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, back arching as his tongue swirled around your clit.

“Just as fuckin’ sweet as I remembered,” he whispered, his breath against your pussy making your chest heave.

He licked a stripe along your slit, making your back arch off the bed, your eyes fluttering closed.

“Be loud for me, baby,” he murmured, lips finding your clit again. You did as he asked, moaning and crying out his name as he devoured your pussy, eliciting desperate sounds from you as your fingers wound themselves in his hair. He groaned as you pulled on his locks, encouraging you to continue doing so as he opted to slide a finger inside you.

“Fuck - Steve! Ohmygod, fuck -”

You felt him smile as he lapped and licked at your folds, adding a second finger and beginning to pump them in earnest, finding that spot inside of you too easily. 

You were crying out, bucking your hips against Steve’s lips, like putty in his hands. For about ten minutes you were completely his, mind numb with pleasure as he took you apart with his mouth. You let him, feeling the blunt fingernails of his free hand digging into your thigh, pulling you as close as possible.

“Steve - I’m gonna - I’m so close, y’feel too good -”

Encouraged, he picked up the pace a bit, sending you completely over the edge. When you came, you saw stars, grinding down on Steve’s mouth and fingers. You were screaming, and he helped you through it, nuzzling against your core as you pulsed around his fingers. Your hand left his hair and found his temple, gently coaxing him closer as you rode out your orgasm.

You were still breathing heavily as he kissed his way slowly back up your body, worshiping every inch of skin he could find. YOu didn’t let your eyes open again until he was face-to-face with you, chin glistening with your release as he wore a smug grin.

“Such a good girl for me,” he murmured. “Tasted so good… you came so hard for me -”

“Mm -” you hummed, pulling him down for a kiss. You tasted yourself on him, the sensation completely euphoric.

“Do you need some time?” he asked gently.

You ran a finger over your clit, still sensitive and puffy, and shook your head.

“No, I’m okay - I actually really need you to fuck me.”

“Thank god,” he said, exasperated. “I don’t think I can go another second without fucking you -”

“I know -”

“I would dream about you, you know - all the time. I’d wake up in the middle of the night with a hard-on, of a mess in my boxers like a fuckin’ teenager -”

“I know what you mean,” you admitted, recalling a few times you had thought of him as you touched yourself since he’d left. 

“Please tell me you’re still on the fuckin’ pill -”

“Yeah, I am - God, Steve -”

“I know, I know - ready baby?”

You nodded, locking your eyes with his as he positioned himself above you, pushing inside of you ever so slowly. You could tell he was holding back, doing everything he could to not enter you in one rough movement. You winced at the stretch, nearly forgetting just how big he was. He kissed apologies across your face, gasping as he felt your warm walls envelope him.

“Fuck -” he groaned, burying his face in your neck. “I can’t believe I went so long without this - you feel so fuckin’ perfect, baby - such a tight, perfect pussy -”

“You feel so good,” you breathed, digging your fingernails into his shoulderblades. “Steve - I’m so full, please fuck me -”

He did as you asked, rolling his hips against yours, eliciting a groan from both of you. He was still holding back you could tell - but you didn’t have time for that, not after months of missing him, of missing this -

“Let go, baby,” you whispered. “Please -”

“What did you just call me?” he asked.

“I - baby,” you repeated. You realized you never had before - was that wrong?

“Say it again,” he breathed.

“Baby,” you breathed, gasping as he thrust into you a little harder. 

“Baby, please - fuck me, let go,” you cried.

It became fast and hard quickly, the desperation you shared impossible to mask. The slapping of his hips against yours was positively dirty, Steve’s arms caging you underneath him as he pounded into you. Your hand snaked down between you, your own finger finding your clit.

“That’s it, baby,” he groaned, continuing his relentless pace. “Touch yourself for me, just like that - M’not gonan last long, I’m sorry, you just feel too good -”

“It’s okay,” you assured, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I want you to lose it.”

He groaned, the room filling with the sound of slapping skin and moans, your names on each other’s lips.

Nothing else mattered, not when Steve was making you feel like this, not when he had flown across an ocean on a whim, a desperate hope to just see you again, even if only for a moment. You suddenly became so overwhelmed with love for this man, this person who had turned your world upside down - it was indescribable, impossible to even express. So you just held him tight, burying your face into his shoulder.

“M’close - I need you to come with me, baby - can you do that? I know you can, you’re always so good for me -”

You nodded, unable to formulate words anymore.

“I fuckin’ love you,” he cried, hips stuttering, his thrusts growing sloppier. “So much, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you - I love you, baby -”

His words sent you over the edge, white-hot pleasure surging through your body as you screamed his name. The feeling of you clamping around him sending him into his own orgasm. He spilled inside of you, your name on his lips like a prayer. He practically collapsed on top of you, the feeling of his heartbeat against yours feeling like home, like it was always meant to be this way.

Your breaths were labored, sweet kisses peppered across skin. Neither of you spoke for quite some time. After he rolled off of you, he immediately wrapped his arms around you, pulling you as close as physically possible.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, slow and gentle. It was only when you pulled back, brushing some of his sweaty hair away from his face, that you broke the silence.

“I love you, too,” you murmured. You brushed your fingers along his face, and he caught your wrist, pressing kisses to your palm and knuckles, as if determined to worship you every chance he got.

“I want more than an arrangement,” he whispered. “I don’t want rules, or a deal, or -”

“Yeah, that was obvious,” you replied, chuckling. “And, me too.”

“And, you were right - you have school, and I never wanted you to think I just wanted you like a trophy or something - you have your own life, aspirations, and i know that - I just like spoiling you, but I never wanted you to give up who you are,” he said, face soft. “I need you to know that.”

“I do,” you murmured.

You really did. 

“Besides, I graduated.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What? When?”

“Officially? A few days ago.”

He smiled, soft and sincere - part of you was worried he might cry again.

“Congratulations - I’ll have to take you out to celebrate.”

“Mm - sounds good to me. How long - when are you here until?”

There was still life to reckon with, after all - living on two different continents, jobs, obligations - the kind of thing that could ruin this. But, he just shook his head.

“I bought an open-ended ticket. So, until whenever you want.”

“I - what? What about work?”

He shrugged. “Turns out, when you run the place, you can get away with that stuff.”

Your jaw dropped.

“What? Are you serious?”

He nodded. “Brenner’s out. I’m in - youngest CEO in the company’s history.” 

You laughed, pressing your palm to your forehead as you stared at the ceiling in disbelief.

“Steve - that’s amazing. But how -”

“Shhh - we’ll figure everything out later. But, let’s at least ring in the new year together, yeah?”

You nodded cautiously - he really was here, now, and wanted to make it work.

“Okay,” you said. “Sounds good.”

“Hey - you know what’s really pissing me off, though?”

“What?” you asked, wary as a pit of dread formed in your gut.

“I have to thank Eddie fucking Munson for fixing this.”

You laughed, a real, hearty laugh, and in that moment, you realized things were going to be okay.

******

That night, you slept better than you had in months, safe and warm in Steve’s arms. That was, until you woke to Robin’s scream the next morning, both of you shooting up in bed with a start.

“WHAT IS HE DOING IN YOUR BED?” she cried, shielding her eyes. “God - I wish I could bleach my eyes - motherfucker -”

Then, the door was slamming shut, Robin bemoaning her luck as she bolted down the hall to her own room.

You felt your face heat with embarrassment, sinking under the covers.

“Well - I guess I owe her an explanation -”

“Later,” Steve saidly, shaking his head incredulously. “For Christmas, I’m getting you a fucking industrial lock for that door!”

Then you were laughing, blissful and unable to control yourself, Steve joining you. He kissed the giggles away, pulling your body to his, and not much talking happened after that.

It didn’t matter what real life held after this - because Steve was here, and he was yours. Wherever you ended up, you realized, if you were with Steve, you would be home.

He was here to stay.

author's note: Hi y'all - thanks for your patience! This story isn't quite done - there will be an epilogue posted tomorrow. But, that's essentially the conclusion of don't call me 'baby' - I told you it would be a happy ending! Shoutout to @is-writing for some help with this. And of course as always, Em, without whom this fic wouldn't have happened. Comments, reblogs, and messages are always welcome - keep an eye out for the epilogue!

#steve harrington #steve harrington/reader smut #steve harrington/you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x reader fluff #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington smut #steve harrington/reader angst #steve harrington/fem!reader #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x reader #dcmb fic

[todaysbird]

It's kind of like this for me... you go in to the vet, and you see all those posters on the walls about dog dental health or heartworm meds or whatever, and you look and they're from a company trying to sell you a related med

My understanding is that usually those companies are paying the vet to post what are basically ads

And like... on one hand, those probably are effective meds for those things, and those are things that need treating. Also, if the vet is getting compensated, that may help to pay for stuff like rent and may lower my costs even a tiny bit... and that's probably good

On the other hand, I think that kind of advertising is very insidious and... you do have to ask the question, might it influence vets even unconsciously to favor giving out the meds/food/brands that also helps pay their bills, especially if they do get any kind of actual reward?

It's complicated, money makes all this stuff tricky. You get balancing operating cost, vs providing care, vs ethical questions around accepting deals with companies to directly or indirectly promote their products to people trying to take care of their pets

(And like you said, you've got a lot of this stuff around in the human medical field too)

I assume that's kind of your main point with what you've been saying here, that the whole thing is a muddy situation where monetary motives my consciously or subconsciously influence vets to lean towards brands that help them out regardless of if that's what's best for their client and their pets, but that also doesn't mean that it's some kind of pure scam with zero value either

Anyway, regardless of if I'm reading your thoughts on this right, hope you have a good day

Yes exactly. I do not believe that the average owner ‘knows more’ than a vet, however I do believe certain food brands are over-recommended due to those brands paying for their places in vet offices. This doesn’t even necessarily negate the quality of the food, or reflect on the care the veterinarian provides.

I remember getting into a long debate over the phone with a vet tech when she insinuated I had gotten grain free food for my dog as a fad diet, and they only recommended Hill’s. My dog has allergies to grain, and gets violently ill when fed regular dog food. After many brands, we have settled on a grain free, sensitive tummy dog food that keeps her healthy and happy. This does not mean she was acting with intent to harm my dog. Vets are more aware of dogs’ needs than the average person, AND you as an owner have the responsibility to know & advocate for your pet’s individualized needs.

#asks

[reddpenn]

Let us know how the D&D game went!

Sure! The turnout was a bit smaller than my usual group due to a bunch of Adult Scheduling Conflicts, but I honestly prefer DMing for smaller groups anyway. This was session zero, so it was mostly just establishing lore and rolling up our characters.

We went over the lore of my homebrew setting. We’re doing an urban fantasy set in a film noir-style fantasy city - built vertically into the walls of a massive sinkhole. The economic boom caused by the town’s mithral mines have turned it into a cultural melting pot, populated by diasporas of elves, orcs, drow, humans, etc. It has also attracted its fair share of organized crime, such as the powerful elvish mob known as the Gabbro Family. The players are part-time private eyes who own Deepwell Detective Agency, a small detective agency in the depths of the city, where the sinkhole’s walls cast the streets into perpetual twilight and the Gabbro Family rules with an iron fist.

We rolled up some characters! (We’re using Pathfinder as our system for this one, ‘cause I like it the best.)

Jericho is a drow witch who’s a young student at the city’s college of magic. They're accompanied by their familiar, a tophat wearing hedgehog named Hazel, and their imaginary friend reality-challenged friend Impy. After reading tons of mystery novels, they aspire to be a Detective Conan-style kid detective. But their sheltered upbringing in the upper levels of the city has left them naive and unprepared for the realities of being a private eye.

Homes is a monkey-goblin investigator who traveled to this city looking for adventure and new experiences, but has since fallen into the mundane routine of doing construction-related odd jobs. A dexterous and handy little guy who’s good at building things, he built the Deepwell Detective Agency’s headquarters and the other players pay him rent to use the place. He insists he’s just their landlord, but as the cleverest of the group he often gets caught up in solving mysteries with them.

Perdita is an aasimar sorcerer who runs a simple tailoring business in the lower levels of the city. Few people know about her past as a thief, but she once had ties to the Gabbro Family, who took her in and raised her after she was abandoned as a child. After being caught and forced to work with the police for a while, the Gabbro Family disowned her as a failure and a traitor. Her past and ties to the criminal underworld will come in handy when it comes time to solve some crimes.

With what little time we had left after all that, the characters interacted and got to know each other a bit! They solved a small mystery, helping a little girl find her missing friends - and eventually discovering that these “friends” were bullies who had purposefully ditched her. Homes gave them what they deserved by scaring them and stealing their lunch money. Now the players are ready to go out into the city and SOLVE SOME MYSTERIES!

#pathfinder #Deepwell Detective Agency

[ambreeskyewriting]

Hi! It's ambree, I'm 29 and queer. She/it/he/any pronouns.

So I really hoped I wouldn't have to make this post again but here we are.

I have a job now but even when I am able to make all my shifts and not go home sick it's still barely going to cover my rent let alone food and bills.

If anyone has some spare change I would greatly appreciate some help! I'm going to list the major things I'd put money towards and my general monthly goals down below.

My kofi

Rent: 0/$500 (zero for now bc I will have enough when I get paid on Friday to cat h up on Oct rent but idk if I'll make Nov)

Bus pass: 0/$60 no work with no bus

Utilities: 0/$ 100

Laundry: 0/$20 (I don't do laundry nearly often enough both bc of spoons and also money)

Food 0/$200 (it's not a lot but I can make due w Abt this per mo for food for myself, I use the food bank but they don't always have things my mental health allows me to make) (I am currently applying for food assistance but haven't heard back)

Again anything helps and I'll update above when I use a donation for something. I'm hoping to figure out something I can do from home to make money as well but it depends heavily on my physical and mental health which change often and drastically.

[batmansymbol]

I hope this isn't a weird or too random question (and if it is, feel free to ignore ofc!) but I was wondering if you had any advice for someone thinking of writing full-time? The obvious question is, of course, can one make a living from it even if they're not like Stephen King or GRR Martin or something? Do you have any tips from your experience that you would have found helpful when first starting out? <3

Hi, sweet anon! Not weird at all. I'm happy to chime in with some (long) thoughts.

Firstly, yes! Authors can make a full-time living from writing even if they're not GRRM &c. I know a number of full-timers, and some of them aren't even NYT bestsellers.

As a caveat, I know very little about the indie/self-publishing space, so the following is based on my experience in traditional publishing.

I spent around 2-3 years writing books full-time. I no longer do that, and don't plan to return to it unless I have a big commercial breakout. It was just a never-ending parade of financial stress. It's hard even to give "tips" because so much is out of your control -- but if you're considering trying to write full time, you should definitely know what you're signing up for.

Here's an average situation for a non-bestseller trying to full-time it:

Let's say you've published two books, and your third is on the way (awesome!). For your first two novels, you got advances of $40,000, but maybe they've only sold 15k copies apiece -- not enough to "earn out" your advance and start making new money. So, you're not making a cent off your older books. Probably won't for years.

Let's say your book 3 is supposed to publish in June 2025, and it sold for more than your last books: $75,000. Pretty good! Advances are usually divided into thirds these days: 1/3 on contract signing, 1/3 on delivery of the fully edited manuscript (D&A), and 1/3 on publication. So that makes a $50,000 salary this year, yes?

Kind of. Right off the bat, your agent gets 15%, so that would make a $42,500 salary. A little tighter, but still seems doable. Also, you need to make estimated tax payments to the IRS. So, let's ballpark your taxes at $7,000, state and federal, which you'll pay in installments throughout the year.

Contract negotiations take a few months as usual, and let's say in April, you get the first payment: your first $21,250. Nice.

Unfortunately, your editor's swamped, and 2 months go by before they send you edits. When you get the letter in June, you're like -- shit, this is a more extensive revision than I thought. You start rehauling the novel, but after your month-long deadline passes, it's still not right. You take another six weeks before you're happy. It's now September.

Suddenly money is very tight. You got $21,250 in April, but since then you've paid $5,250 in estimated taxes, and every month you pay $2,250 in rent, health insurance, and food. You were supposed to have your second payment already, because the contract's estimated D&A date said September. But you still need to do line edits. You now have $2,500 in the bank. You are very aware that this will last a little over a month.

Your editor gets back after a few weeks, having loved your revision, and has sent you line edits. Thank God she didn't want a second round of bigger edits. But it's now October. You rush through the line edits, turn them in after a single jam-packed week. You have $250 in the bank. Your D&A payment is now due.

A week goes by. Where is the payment? You email your agent. She badgers the publisher. They say the payment will be sent through in a pay run next week, so after agency processing, it'll be with you in early November.

You have $75 in the bank. You start putting everything on your credit cards. Then your utility company makes a direct withdrawal from your checking account. You wake up to an overdraft notice and zero dollars in your account. Holy shit, you think, why did I choose this career. November hits. You are late on rent. Maybe you should start drawing from your retirement account, which you put $5,000 into, one time, three years ago?

When your payment arrives, you're not happy so much as ready to cry with relief. You start paying off your cards and sending late, embarrassed Venmos to your friends. You can finally stop declining invites to hang out because you have no money.

And by then it's November, and you're realizing that you really need to be thinking about your next book. If you were working smart, you got a jump on it earlier in the year, when your editor was late with your edit letter. Let's say you wrote an entire first draft back then, between January and June. (Which, to be clear, IS fast for a novel, do not believe the ridiculous standards of writing speed you see online.) If you now take six months to mold that first draft into actual art, then send it to your agent next May, and she wants changes, and you submit in July, and it sells after an average couple months on submission, you won't get your next contract payment until January, 2026.

ARE YOU ANXIOUS YET?

The above scenario is ordinary. An editor having a delay on an edit letter for a month or two, or an author getting stuck and running over deadline for a month -- that stuff is barely worth commenting on.

And there are all sorts of other bumps in the road. Let's say the publisher has turnover in the contracts department. Immediately, that'll be a delay on your signing payment. I've waited 6 months for a contract payment before. I've waited months for a simple email reply from an editor because the company was going through layoffs.

Add more people into the process, and it gets slower. Are you working on IP, let's say a novelization of a TV property? That team might take months to get back to you even on your proposed outline. Working with a freelancer or cowriter? Add weeks or months to every step. In publishing, you spend half your life waiting. You know what doesn't wait? Rent, taxes, and health insurance.

Anon, this is the shoestring, desperate kind of full-time author existence. If you're doing a little better -- still midlist, but better -- you might have earned out one or more of your backlist titles. That means you'll get additional royalties twice a year, usually April and October. That will help.

Or maybe you're a super-fast writer who's always, always juggling multiple contracts and shooting drafts in and out of your door. That's a decent way to make a healthy living as a full-time author, but you'll need to complete multiple books a year, for sure.

This is why I have a survival job half the week that pays my rent. The stress is still there, but it's less frequent and less intense. Honestly, given my sales figures, which are (checks notes) bad, I'm lucky to get to keep doing this after five novels. Because the biggest looming threat is that if you don't break out, editors will start shutting the door immediately because of your lack of established audience.

The only really reliable way to pay your bills is to break out. Then if your editor leaves your publishing house, and you get reassigned, and that pads 3 months onto the editing process, or whatever, it doesn't matter. You'll have actual, substantial royalty payments twice a year. Your advances will always be over six figures. You can live a normal life where you're not staring into the murky distance, wondering when some payment is going to soar out of the night and into your terrible bank account.

Or ... you can just get a day job. And you will get paid biweekly, reliably, on SPECIFIC DATES!!!, forever. When I tell you this shit was life-changing for me. Good God.

Obviously the biggest problem in this whole post is the bit where I wrote "every month you pay $2,250 in rent, insurance, and food," and worried if I was, in fact, lowballing that amount. What a broken world!

Anyway. Best of luck with the writing, anon -- no matter what your experiences in or around the industry, I hope the work itself continues to feed your soul.

RR

#reply #publishing #advice

[m0use-brained]

my (super)ordinary life!

as some might know its about two college boys renting an apartment together(by chance) and dealing with the ghost of a Victorian boy who was murdered by his nanny. the story follows the protagonist Xavier who is a "realist" and skeptic and doesnt believe in ghosts at all. his roommate on the other hand dallas is a firm believer and a medium. the little Victorian kid Arch whos trying to get the attention of xavier due to him looking so much like his best friend in life falls short in doing so through little antics. The two go through college with unexplainable things happening(well dallas tries to tell xavier its the ghost with xavier not believing him) until xavier has enough of bad things happening and finally folds and lets dallas do whatever he needed. they go through alot to finally talk to arch(buying equipment is hard when your in college) and THEN try to solve the mystery of who killed arch, to let him feel at peace and not restless anymore

-

Government kids??? no name yet- haeaawdjhnThree kids (17 yr old girl, 14 yr old boy and 10 yr old boy) who are all siblings to this last group of people with magical powers end up loosing their parents due to the new government that was implemented recently. But the world for like more then a hundred years now have passed their reign over magic. now magic is only within their brightly colored hair and eyes(bald ppl dont exist). Along with some people having animalistic qualities and other- fanstay qualities. they are still so very human in the aspects of no one has magical powers but they have some extra points towards things like strength if they were a werewolf or something. (they dont change under a full moon they are stuck in the half furry state). anyways. the three kids end up trying to not get captured by the government running all over the place. they go to highschool for a time, then make friends and go to the friends house. a friend dies. some within family drama happens and the oldest sibling fights with the middle child. the oldest gets captured first. the two other siblings go with their owl caretaker(who barely shows up within the story). the youngest seems not to happy with this and escapes to a village somehow untouched by the government and learn about his herritage(somewhat hes like 10). oldest goes through hell to escape and find the middle child and the youngest. turns out hte owl turned the middle kid into the government and winter finding out oliver isnt with the middle she saves the middle and then says a brisk apology as she is on the hunt to find her baby brother. tension between winter and rodger rise but winter is preoccupied with saving oliver. oliver makes frineds with this young girl and her dad and those two help oliver go into the biggest city to try and find winter and rodger. winter and rodger are one step behind as they get into the village. rodger finds out about their family but winter couldnt care less as she is tiredlessly trying to find oliver. its way to much i know and i left out funny goofy government villans that are clear ripoffs of team rocket but in my own funny way...

-

Super hero esk story?? idk i called it Switcheroo but thats kinda silly.the protagonist is the top villan's son who goes into the top hero school. (the mom sees how influcened he is to do crime but wants the best life for him. she wants him to choose after also being influenced by what their society deems as noble and good) Zero(protag) dorms with a girl(filing mess up) who is the daughter of number 1 heroic(hero system is different here too) bull's eye. on the news they find out the 3rd heroic on the ranking chart gets kidnapped by zero's mom??? and zero goes to talk with her about it as hes grown attached to the girl he dorms with and saw how upset she'd become. the mom denies it and says this was all a publicity stunt from bull's eye to gain more money and fame. zero says to out them. the mom cant. because no one will ever trust the villains. even if they did what would it do. strike fear into people that even hero's are corrupt and evil will always win? they needed to do something. zero tried to tell the girl but she couldnt believe him. they have a fight. zero ends up trying to do everything in his power to make it up to her. humiliating himself infront of the whole school(but he doesnt care). she accepts his apology and makes sure he isnt injured. he does get in trouble but thats not the point. she hears him out and admits to things shes seen as a kid ever since her parents divorced due to money problems. the premise is they have to take down the two top heroics from inside their ogranization or making them quit by them messing up every save. (prank them so hard they quit). (i dont know the ending yet akjwdnajkw) -

Super hero esk story?? idk i called it Switcheroo but thats kinda silly.the protagonist is the top villan's son who goes into the top hero school. (the mom sees how influcened he is to do crime but wants the best life for him. she wants him to choose after also being influenced by what their society deems as noble and good) Zero(protag) dorms with a girl(filing mess up) who is the daughter of number 1 heroic(hero system is different here too) bull's eye. on the news they find out the 3rd heroic on the ranking chart gets kidnapped by zero's mom??? and zero goes to talk with her about it as hes grown attached to the girl he dorms with and saw how upset she'd become. the mom denies it and says this was all a publicity stunt from bull's eye to gain more money and fame. zero says to out them. the mom cant. because no one will ever trust the villains. even if they did what would it do. strike fear into people that even hero's are corrupt and evil will always win? they needed to do something. zero tried to tell the girl but she couldnt believe him. they have a fight. zero ends up trying to do everything in his power to make it up to her. humiliating himself infront of the whole school(but he doesnt care). she accepts his apology and makes sure he isnt injured. he does get in trouble but thats not the point. she hears him out and admits to things shes seen as a kid ever since her parents divorced due to money problems. the premise is they have to take down the two top heroics from inside their ogranization or making them quit by them messing up every save. (prank them so hard they quit). (i dont know the ending yet akjwdnajkw)

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The Moon's craters

a bunch of billionares go to the moon(or a planet that looks like the moon whatever man) and colonize there. hundreds of years pass and the world is sci-fi and dystopian esk?? the poor live in slums and the rich live near the sky!. people who live on the moon have adapted to look different. and the story follows one poor boy on the moon. hes loved the moon but hated the system. classic. so one day he sneaks on a ship that travel's to earth. there he's traversing through earth to see if it was better then the moon. in fact it is not. its more- kingdom esk?? ever since a war that happened long ago.(they still have tech and use alot of it they just enjoy the structural build of kingdoms) protag finds a prince(after getting a job as a servant) and tells him about the moon and stuff. the prince is grossed out but interested in the rich people's fashion sense and taste. he agrees to go with. he litterally just runs away with like a shit ton of money and buys himself a ticket to the moon. goes to the moon they find out theres a war gonna happen cause they cauiught the protag "kidnapping" a prince??? protag is wanted. best friend sidekick doesnt give a fuck????:? so they get a trip to a different planet to escape it all. find out they are super underdeveloped and the moon have been taking that planet's orphans for testing!>?!?>! they rescue one orphan from a new shipment of orphans about to be sent out. (thats all i have so far lmao) -

SpaceBoots

this follows like a ground of people going about space. spaceboots SB(hes got big ass boots), SpaceGloves SG(shes got big ass gloves), Chat(robot guy who talks like zane from lego ninjao but has the brain compacity of a twitch chat), Hat(he wears hats idfk), Shirt(wears beeeeeeg shirt. the hyper cute person of the group). Dress(guy who loves fashion) along with shirt's cat Skrible(very poorly drawn cat who uhm... cat) i forgor most of the plot but like SB uses his mom's ship to do random things through out the galazy and goes on quest. something is wrong with the spaceship i think and they have to get new parts on planets they havent ever been through. they find out more about- the mom and other family i think while getting parts from people who seem to know their parents and shit? aughh i loved their characters so much ajshdakjhwd

#MB writes #story ideas mb

[pickleddginger]

I have some childcare/money/job decisions to make.

I travel a lot with this new job and I’ve hired a nanny to care for The Girl. Boy #1 pitches in too since he lives with us and I charge him next to nothing for rent. Actually, less than nothing considering he eats more per month than his rent payment.

But the nanny is expensive and the commissions are coming in slower than I planned for. (I’d be just fine if my boss wasn’t shooting down every deal I came up with. But that’s a post and bitch for another day.) So I need to decide what I’ll do. Either change jobs which would KILL me since I love this one. Or have Boy #1 do more of the child care.

Tonight while talking to him The Boyfriend asked if he could help. The meaning of the question in the context of the conversation implied that he’d help me take care of The Girl while I’m out of town. I’ve drawn very clear boundaries with him and The Girl. She has a dad. Even though I wish with all my might that I never had to talk to him again, I can’t deny that he’s a great dad. I’m not looking for a replacement.

He’s already raised one daughter who is a magnificent human being, so I’d have zero concern that he’d do a wonderful job.

My concern comes from my mom and they way I grew up. Mom has been married 4 times. So there was a parade of stepdads in my life. I even remember that she had to postpone her 3rd wedding because the legally required waiting period wasn’t over after her last divorce. I don’t want that or even the perception of that in her life.

Also, even though The Boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for going on 2 years it’s only been in the last 6 months I’ve allowed him to be around my kids. And only the last 3 have we been spending time all together regularly. It still feels too soon for him to take on any caretaker responsibilities for her.

I told him that and he seemed to understand. Though considering his previous hesitations on us getting closer, partly due to the fact that I have a middle school age child at home while he’s an empty nester, I’m surprised he offered. It was sweet and sincere and I appreciate it greatly.

I’m dumbstruck in love with this man, but I can’t afford to be dumb when it comes to my kids.

#shit is getting real

[frecklystars]

you have no idea how happy i am to see you back. I've been checking your blog every few weeks for the past few months to see if you've been back and I'm so glad you are. And Im so happy you were able to get your own place. I'm so sorry you went through such a terrible nine months. i hope you heal and feel better soon and feel starscreams love for you again. I'm so tf has been such a big trigger. i remember when the confirmed Steve for Earthspark i was so happy thinking" Keri's going to love this."

i hope you reclaim it soon so you can enjoy your pretty boy again

Every few weeks!! that is some dedication, my friend. Thank you for caring about me so much. It warms my heart that you consider me someone worth checking up on.

And yeah I'm so glad we're in a better living situation!! It's not rly "my" own place since I'm still living w/ my dad (I make... such little money. there is no way I could afford rent in this economy lmao) but yeah it's nice to live in a place that doesn't have any mold or termites. I had to throw away a lot of my sketchbooks when we moved bc the place we were temporarily living in from August to February had zero air ventilation, windows bolted shut, no A/C, there was mold growing in my books and making the pages stick together, there was mold on the walls and under our beds, there was mold all over my clothes, I had to throw away some of my favorite shirts :( we had to cover the floors with dozens of blankets and towels too because our dog stepping on the floor was making her extremely sick (she's okay now though!!) The new place we're in is such a small little condo, but my mental health definitely improved a little bit when I could walk into a clean place and not smell any mold or raw sewage coming out of the sinks :')

Thank you, I hope I can reclaim the characters too. I really miss Starscream. I always miss Starscream, always yearn for him, but now it's different... now it feels hollow and sad when I miss him, because I don't think he misses me back. I don't have that "connection" feeling anymore when I self ship, it's like.... very numb, very empty. I genuinely used to get teary-eyed when listening to my playlist I made for him bc I felt so loved and so comforted. I felt like nothing could ever destroy that feeling. It felt like a truly unconditional devotion on both sides for three years, every day, just pure joy and love with him, and many other characters as well. Losing that so violently due to trauma and betrayal from someone I trusted during a very vulnerable time in my life, um, definitely did some damage. Nobody has ever messed me up like this. I can't believe how much of myself was stolen from me in such a short amount of time. I've never lost my F/Os and a years-long hyperfixation all at once. Depression, anxiety, grief, ptsd, all of it has been rly heavy on me lately just in general, and I always had self shipping to help me get thru my worst times but I haven't had that outlet in so long, now it makes things feel a thousand times heavier. It's so lonely.

I remember when Starscream was announced to be voiced by Steve Blum back in November, and I dropped to my knees onto the floor and just sobbed. Afterward my chest was aching so bad I couldn't even stand, I just laid there on the ground for maybe ten minutes or so. I was dreading seeing him bc I was starting to get scared of him by that point. The ptsd symptoms were starting up and I didn't even know it yet. I could feel him slipping away from me and it was scaring me. I fully believe with my whole heart that I'm unworthy of love and kindness, whether it's from characters or from IRL friendships. That's such an intense flip, going from "I am so loved when I see these characters" to suddenly "when I see these characters, I'm panicking as if I'm about to die". It got to a point where I promised myself I would never make new friends ever again. For 4 months straight when things were at its worst with my ex-friend, I was on such high alert, I assumed everyone in my life was going to turn around and stab me in the back and I needed to be ready for it. I assumed that with F/Os as well, no matter who they are or how good and pure they might be, I kept thinking that me self shipping is just a way of fooling myself into believing I could possibly be worthy of a healthy relationship. I kept thinking "why is this happening to me, what do I need to do to deserve kindness from this person, what do I need to change about myself, what am I doing wrong, why is my best friend hurting me so much, why do I have the right to feel upset about this when clearly she says it's my fault for thinking this is a big deal." I'm at a point where I'm definitely not shutting myself off from making friends again, but damn, that was such a lonely feeling too. Being convinced that everyone is out to get me, that was horrifying.

I'm not... myself. anymore. but. maybe one day I will be. especially when there's so many supportive messages coming my way right now, I feel a bit less alone than before. I definitely came back and wrote that pinned post with the mindset that nobody was going to believe me, that nobody would give me any support, that all of my friends/mutuals were going to try to hurt me the same way that my ex-friend did. But I got the exact opposite treatment. Everyone's kindness is such a huge stepping stone to my recovery and it's like all of you are helping to pull me out of this deep dark pit I've been stuck in for 3/4 of a year. I think it's helped me realize that I'm not really alone in this, there's some people who have my back. Nobody else betrayed me, nobody tried to convince me my F/Os would abuse me. So maybe one day I can believe again that my F/Os would give me that same kindness too.

#also i like the way u phrased it. my 'pretty boy' hehe #he is my pretty boy 🥰 the prettiest most handsome beloved darling #starling darling. ahhh. one day!!! gonna rewatch ES one day and feel GOOD FEELINGS #one day im going to look at my starlight and feel that unconditional love and devotion again #anonymous #asks #keepsake

[ritualofthehabit]

I’m so annoyed with my friend dude he like texted me like last night to be like “I think I’m gonna look for places in (neighborhood)” and it’s like ok cool? You should have started looking months ago and also already have found a place and moved into it tbh you want to have a baby (the baby is due in two months) and you still have like the worlds most disgusting apartment and two roommates. Plus like he is 27 and this is his second apartment ever and his first apartment was an even more disgusting punk house that I wouldn’t count as an actual apartment except for the fact that since he rented it during the sf tech boom it was like 700 bucks a room lmao. Awful. So basically im trying to politely be like Frank you need to actually apply for places bc it’s gonna take so so so long to find a place here that’s affordable and his answer is that he doesn’t have the money YET to start applying and like ok so where’s the money to have a baby gonna appear dumbass. You’re gonna “have the money” and then start applying for places and they r gonna reject you…. Your credit and income sux…. And ur gf is pregnant ? I told him the other day that his gf shouldn’t go on house tours with him and he was like “why?” Lmao maybe because she’s hella pregnant and they don’t want a screaming newborn in the apartment complex lmao and they will reject you and even if they legally shouldn’t or whatever they can literally just say it’s ur horrible credit and lack of rental history and you will have zero argument ? the clock is ticking and this baby is gonna come so fast. Neither of your roommates would like to live with a baby and like you’re gonna lose the lease ur in bc ur roommate will drop. Literally you will end up living with your mom and you don’t want to ? So like apply for a ducking apartment and stop acting like I’m gonna be excited ur moving to Oakland hypothetically

[mistahgrundy]

Please help Rowan

https://www.gofundme.com/f/hp3x4-help-me-not-lose-my-home?member=17624197&sharetype=teams&utm_campaign=p_na+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer

I know their go fund me looks fully funded but it’s not, that’s the goal that was set back in december and they haven’t updated it. They still need help.

Rowan was kicked from their house in their teens (I’m sorry I’m using they/them because I’m not entirely sure on their pronouns I think it might be he/him but I don’t want to assume) for being queer. They spent some time being homeless and then finally got out of that and went back to school to become a mortician when they got diagnosed with cancer

Since 2020 I’ve been posting in a PMF thread called Passing Time In Chemotherapy: A Diary, which has been equal parts me talking about fighting Stage Four Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and being given two months to live, and equal parts screaming about how horrible the American Healthcare System is and trying to make a case for universal healthcare. Briefly I went into remission and then my cancer returned. I also have Stage 1 breast cancer. These last two weeks I have been in the hospital with a kidney disease likely brought on by my chemotherapy treatments, and a lung disease which I need tests to rule out that it’s lung cancer. The problem is I need $4500 to continue receiving care because I am am several hundred thousands dollars in debt due to my chemotherapy. Each chemo treatment cost me $50k after insurance, which no sane person has, so the debt has built up to the point where I am being held hostage for micropayments in the thousands of dollars range in order to receive life saving treatments. I received mod approval to post a GoFundMe I set up in order to pay just for December healthcare bills. I will either lose treatment or lose my home, and I was recently homeless over a year a few years ago and would not like to repeat the experience. My wife is permanently disabled after her battle with Ovarian Cancer (and needs another $800 down payment foe a surgery but that’s ANOTHER can of worms). Basically, without goon help, I am fucked. I have zero plans for Christmas or any holidays this season because I’m too busy fighting to keep my home and my health. My GFM is nearly halfway funded as it is, and on the off chance that it gets overfunded the excess will go towards my wife’s surgery. Both my GFM page and my PMF thread show I am very transparent with where the money goes and what it’s spent on, so no worries there. You can find my GoFundMe here! I intent to post an update to it this evening to keep everyone up to date with health stuff. If you would rather donate something other than money, which I totally get, I have an Amazon wishlist here which is mostly household things we need and food for the cats. I will happily post pictures of them in the thread. They are very sweet baby who cry if a stranger comes to the apartment and doesn’t pick them up. I’ll try to stay on top of removing items from the wishlist as they get bought. I’m not very good with signing off posts, but if anyone has any questions about Lymphona or chemo or the american healthcare system (or just want to see cat photos!) please feel free to ask and I’ll answer as best I can! Thank you in advance for your generosity and kindness. Bless. Edit 12/10: It was suggested that I throw my Venmo in the OP for those who would rather donate that way! Venmo: @moringottos Paypal (please ignore my deadname it’s a nightmare to change): paypal.me/necromancermoons

This is their update today, May 25 2022:

The minimum payments for my medical bills in arrears (mostly chemo) comes out of my bank account automatically to prevent them from suing me over it. I’ve already used my one (1) free grace period of “please give me a few more days before you take my money” according to the lady on the phone, so I’m left with $0.11 in my bank account with several bills, including rent, looming on the horizon. The electric company has already made it very clear they will not hesitate to cut off my power if I even act like I’m going to be late. What do you even do when faced with this level of “fuck you entirely”? I keep telling myself that people are inherently good, but between this and the news and the man at the insurance company writing me a polite email that says “if you have another cancer, try dying this time”, I’m starting to have a hard time with it.

May 18, 2022 7:32 PM

Due to some concerning test results my oncologist is now pushing for testing for multiple myeloma. MM killed my birth dad. I think I may have sorta blacked out during half of what she said. I asked her if it was usual to have this sort of insane cancerous comorbidity, she said it’s not impossible. The imagining center got back to me FINALLY. They said even though my insurance is up in the air and they usually require payment at time of service, my doctors have been hounding them enough that they will let me have a payment plan for x-rays and scans costs. I’ve had enough biopsies that the MM tests don’t scare me like they would have two years ago. Immediately after my lung biopsy I threw up a ton of blackish blood so I feel inoculated to the trauma. Anyways at this point it feels silly, like my body is throwing this massive temper tantrum that it doesn’t want to be here anymore and it’s like “understandable, but consider: we can’t let capitalism win”. Also god won’t let me die because then I’ll be his problem.

the threads: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3987338&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 I believe this one isn’t paywalled

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3916924 but this one might be, this is their diary of day to days of discovering the cancer (they went to the hospital for covid originally). warning: this thread might be very upsetting and hard to read if you have hospital or cancer trauma. or even without

#please reblog and boost #fuck cancer

[posttexasstressdisorder]

More bills, new direction...

Howdy folks, I had been hoping my craigslist and eBay sales would have picked up, but both have been close to zero these past three weeks.  The dreaded first of the month is coming in six days, and I have an additional must-make payment that only comes once a year (my web hosting plan, an additional $175), and it’s coming due Nov. 1. 

With that added in, I’m now about $600 shy of having my half of the rent for November. 

If any of you is able to do so, and would like to help, I would be most appreciative. Please message me privately for my PayPal addy. 

There is, however, good news on the horizon, finally.

I’m making a serious push toward getting a baking business set up that would allow me to bake here at home, and either deliver or have people pick up.  The city passed a “kitchen micro-enterprise” ordinance a couple of years back that will make it legal, finally.  There are hoops to jump through, of course, but it would be a way for me to bring in the additional money over my Social Security that might let me survive without having to beg when times are lean.

And, my little baking student (who will be 12 on Dec 1), is going to be my apprentice/helper.  Her mom has given her blessing, and actually encouraged me to make this leap, and it will be a leap, but it is something that will not only help me, but help her, as well.  Besides the baking, she will also just see what all it takes to make it work.  And best of all, kiddo is stoked.

We kicked around the idea of what to call it, and I gave it some additional thought, and came up with something that represents both of us equally, in the name.  She loved it, so I made up a few logos and she loved ‘em.   So, if the stars align, and I don’t have any more huge financial expenditures, we will soon be known around these parts as:

Did a couple different round labels we can use to seal bags/boxes with:

We’ll be trying all this out for potential future customers (ie: moms and dads) at the “Fall Festival” at the kiddo’s school.  She just started 6th grade, so it’s “junior high” or “middle school”.  We’re gonna dazzle ‘em with my Blueberry-Banana Bread, the Fresh Raspberry Muffins, and my tried-and-true Gingersnaps.  Gonna see how they respond to it. 

Packaging for it already settled:  cardboard cake boxes with window for the jumbo Raspberry Muffins, and some cool little eco-friendly bags that look classy, not expensive, but creative enough to show that “we mean business” here.  At any rate, if I’ve been kinda quiet lately, this has been my main focus.

I know that it would work, sans financial debacles.  The Festival is on Nov. 3rd, so I will be concentrating on it when rent is due.  Y’all understand that every penny the comes out of kindness goes directly to rent and bills.  Period.  There is no “frivolous spending”.  I am just doing my best to survive.  I’m going to “pin” this one, so if anyone has any friends who feel generous to a good cause, point them to my page, posttexasstressdisorder.tumblr.com

Thanks, y’all!

ptsd

[goffhartley3]

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