#and my two best friends are psych majors

[bwambiee]

𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

this lil’ drabble is inspired by the lovely @zeijias ♡ her drabble of isagi being a perv while pretending to be a goody two-shoes just scratched my brain so right i had to add on to the agenda! pls check out her works they’ve got me blushin’ ૮꒰/ฅ//ฅ//꒱ა

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : 𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

warnings ꒱ྀིა smut ⸝ drabble ⸝ fem! reader ⸝ isagi being a perv ⸝ mean isagi agenda ⸝ aged up chara’s (21+) ⸝ dirty talk ⸝ mentions of face-sitting

campus crush yoichi is just the sweetest boy in your psychology class, who you just found out is an exercise science major and he’s got the prettiest sapphire eyes you’ve ever seen. classmates turned best friends came easily to you two even if sometimes you both could see that the line is slightly blurred from how impeccably close you two are. after spending every waking moment together in freshman and sophomore year, it’s like muscle memory for you to run to him at even the smallest ounce of juicy gossip, tugging his sleeve as you look up into his eyes and nuzzle into his arm as you explain the drama of a recent friend, or how you complain over your classes whilst wearing his hoodie. but who could blame you? he was sweet and understanding, and felt like home. but it was clear that you two had something. and the both of you didn’t have the guts to act on it yet.

of course you only see what’s on the outside, goody two-shoes isagi who sometimes walks in late for psych, who always always opens the door for you, who covers your drink at parties when you need to use the bathroom and even bends down so his ear is at level with your face so he can hear you over the booming music, who always buys you your favorite drink or snack before your morning classes start because you stayed up a little later than normal and he knows you haven’t had breakfast yet. he was just so pure and flawless you could never guess that he was secretly eyeing you like the last piece of candy at a sweets shop. especially when you wear that miniskirt that can most definitely show what color panties you're wearing and the curve of your ass if you weren’t careful.

isagi freaking loses it when you stroll up to him all casually, your eyes looking up at him while you bat your eyelashes and flash him that sweet smile, your soft hands tugging on the sleeve of his hoodie as you lead him towards the library so you two can study for an upcoming test. yeah . . . ‘study’. what he’s really studying is how good your legs look when you cross them together, how good they’d look resting over his shoulders when he pounds into your pussy without mercy, growling into your ear about how fucking tight you are, or how good your shoulders and neck would look covered in marks he’d purposely leave on you so that the boy in your statistics class would get a hint that you weren’t meant to be shared with. nothing drives him wild as his thought run amok, dreaming of your plush thighs surrounding his head as he imagines you sitting on his face, pretty pussy dripping honey onto his tongue as you let out soft mewls and whines of his name when he sucks your clit just right, gripping onto your ass cheeks so he can move you back and forth on his tongue as you hold onto his headboard for dear life.

he inwardly groans as he imagines sinking into your pussy, sticking his whole cock into you in one hard thrust as he robs you of every single slither of oxygen when you gasp and do nothing but hold onto him tightly. he’d destroy you, the frustration of playing cat and mouse with you when really he just wants to play house and stop fucking around. the need for his true feelings comes out slightly when he sees you bite the top of your pencil, slightly groaning as you lean in close to him, not-so-subtly showing off how good your tits looked in the top and mention how the barista that had made your latte was cute and he grips his mechanical pencil tightly, digging it into his notebook when he stares at your lips, pursed in concentration, smiling about that stupid fucking barista.

damn tease.

his mind wanders again, thinking about how you’d claw his back as he imagines your tight, velvety walls gripping his cock as he makes you see stars.

“such a tight little pussy YN. All for me, yeah?” he’d pant against your ear. “you think you can keep up this innocent act around me, mhm? you don’t think i can see the little game you’re playing? you can mention another guy’s name in your mouth, but it’s my cock you come all over, and it’s my name you fuckin’ scream.” he growls, gripping onto your hips so he can bully that sweet spot in you and you would let out the most prettiest cry.

“n-no more—nnh!” you would moan. “it’s too much y-yoichi!” you’d whisper pleadingly, watery eyes hazy as your mind would be too fucked out to even form a coherent sentence. he’d do nothing but grin at you and just leans forward, folding you in half.

“t-too much y-yoichi!” he’d mock you with an insufferable smirk, one hand sneaking up to grip your tits and the other on your tummy so he can feel his dick move in and out of you lazily, pussy throbbing around him as his fingers slowly tease you clit in slow, deliberate movements, grunting since he can feel you squeezing him so fucking good.

“don’t be a quitter sweetheart.”

and fire would spread across your oversensitive body, writhing and spasming as isagi robs you of an orgasm that’s sure to send you over the moon.

well of course, you’d feel that euphoric feeling if you’d stop playing cat and mouse.

#ཐིཋྀ◞𝓿𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓪 𝓴𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓼 #𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒆𝒆𝒌 ૮꒰ྀི⊃⸝ ⸝ ⸝⊂꒱ྀིა #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi x reader #isagi yoichi smut #isagi smut #blue lock x reader #blue lock smut #isagi yoichi imagines #it’s been a while since i wrote ! i think i’m a lil’ rusty oops ૮꒰ つᯅ⊂ ꒱ა

[videovamptramp]

you aren’t mine to lose

// you’ve had a crush on ellie since you were kids. you two have always been best friends; until she gets a girlfriend who ironically hates you. //

warnings: pinning, angst, stoner/dealer!ellie, modern day au, i can never write anything happy, this isn’t proof read so my grammatical errors may need a warning???

(you love me, but you’ll never love me as much as you love her)

ellie has been your best friend since you were both 13. throughout high school, the two of you only grew closer. your mother often joked that you were both conjoined at the hip. everywhere ellie was, you were, and vice versa. your crush on ellie started a little after the first year of high school. the brunette has always been really nice to you; even if she was awkward, and didn’t understand very many social cues… ellie was your favorite person in the whole wide world.

your crush on ellie only got worse as the two of you got older. you even found yourself following her after graduation to the university of jackson. now it was your first year of college, and the two of you were still the best of friends. that is, until ellie got a girlfriend. in all honesty, you were a depressed wreck when ellie first started talking to tiffany. she was a blonde with blue eyes, and had a body that could stop a trucker from a mile away. she was perfect in every single way, and it was obvious why ellie liked her. it was also pretty obvious that tiffany hated you. ellie was, of course oblivious to the tension between you and the psych major, but you were pretty sure tiffany only hated you because she knew how you felt about ellie.

but that didn’t discourage you from keeping your friendship with the brunette you’ve come to love so much. you never expected ellie to return your feelings. in fact, that’s the main reason you’ve been so supportive of her relationship with tiffany from the beginning. sure, it made you sad and sometimes you didn’t want to talk to ellie, because all she’d talk about was tiffany… but you still tried really hard to text her and hang out with her. maybe it wasn’t as much as you two used to, but still, you were trying and that’s all that matters, right?

“so are you gonna be at jesse’s party tonight?” your roommate dina inquires curiously, as she folds some of her clothes. she pulls you out of your ellie-induced thoughts, causing you to pry your eyes away from the textbook you hadn’t been paying any attention to. “um, no. i have to study for my english seminar. mr. lydon always calls on me.” you half lie, and dina rolls her eyes playfully. “that’s because you practically know everything already. he’s impressed and probably gonna offer you a position as a student teacher next year.” she admits, and your eyes light up at the thought. you were majoring in english, because it’s always been your dream to be an english teacher or professor.

“you really think he’ll ask me? yara’s super smart and she’s been talking about wanting to be a student teacher since the year started.” you point out, while dina waves dismissively after putting some of her shirts away. “he’s definitely gonna ask you, y/n. you two are always talking about star wars and your weird love for the semi colon.” she taunts, making you blush in a bit of embarrassment. “it’s just… it’s a pause without a coma or period— never mind, you wouldn’t understand. science geek.” you tease your roommate back, causing her to gasp in mock offense as she reaches for a pair of folded socks, tossing them right at your face.

you giggle, and as your laughter dies down, dina flashes you a look. “you should really come tonight though. ellie’s gonna be there.” she continues to pick on you, but you can hear the slight seriousness in her tone. you groan, “which means tiffany is also gonna be there.” you counterpoint. you say the blonde’s name as if it’s venomous, and dina shakes her head, the annoyance on her face clear as water. “ugh, i hate her. i swear, if she tries to psycho analyze me because i had a bad day one more time, i’m going to punch her and ruin that nose job her daddy paid for.” dina states in a tone too serious to be a joke, and you flash her a look of surprise before you both burst into a fit of laughter.

“still, you should go with me tonight. word on the street is ellie and her have been arguing a lot lately.” dina confesses, and this seems to spike your interest. you quirk a brow in your roommates direction, ellie hasn’t told you anything about her and tiffany fighting. then again, you’ve barely been texting ellie about anything other than plans for group hangouts or memes. “what are they fighting about?” you ask, unable to hide the fact that you’re suddenly intrigued. dina shrugs, “i don’t know, but it seems pretty bad. i heard tiffany yelling the other day. like at the top of her lungs yelling. i think the dorm rep had to get involved.” she explains, and your eyes widen a bit.

why didn’t ellie tell me anything?

“look, we can go with our matching flare jeans!” dina holds up the pair of black jeans she had just washed; they were your favorite pair because they had hearts on them. you shake your head, offering her a small smile. “fine. i’ll go; but if i get anything less than a eighty on tomorrow’s assignment, i’m blaming you.” you warn her playfully, and the grin on dina’s face makes your smile widen. you close the book you had long forgotten about, and get up; deciding to pick out your outfit for tonight. you settle on the flare jeans and a black furry sweater that’s too small to even keep you warm. your hair is still a bit damp from your shower earlier, but you let down both of your braids anyways; allowing the semi-curly hair to fall down. after putting on some mascara and lipgloss, you aimlessly scroll through tiktok while you wait for dina to finish getting ready.

by the time the raven haired girl is finished, jesse is texting the group chat, letting you both know the kegs are full and ready. apparently ellie was supplying the weed, and one of jesse’s friends was bringing bottles of liquor along with some packs of beer. “you should text ellie and tell her you’re gonna come.” dina suggests, as you both make your way out of your dorm hall, stepping out into the horrid cold. “so… you and jesse…” you trail off, a tiny smirk etched onto your lips. you can see dina blushing under one of the lampposts, causing you to chuckle. “jeez, d, you really like this guy huh?” you question and her blush deepens; her cheeks turning crimson red.

“he’s sweet… i know we just met earlier this year, but i feel like i really know him. you know? like i know his heart.” dina explains, and you smile brightly. “wow, i never thought i’d hear you talking about someone in such a sappy way.” you poke fun at her, but your friend can hear the softness in your voice and see the fondness in your eyes. dina grins, “yeah, well, who knows, he might get lucky tonight.” she half jokes and you gasp, throwing your head back while releasing a howling laugh.

when you get to the frat house, there’s already hoard of people there. the music is loud, but not too loud, so for that you’re sort of grateful. jesse finds you both a minute after you two walk in; he has a large smile on his face and his varsity jacket hanging off his back. “hello ladies.” he says, his smile more directed to dina. “hey jesse, is ellie here yet?” you ask curiously, trying to sound nonchalant, but he can see right through you. he nods, “yup! she’s in the back rolling a few j’s. you can head back there and say hi if you want. she’s alone.” he clarifies, and you smile gratefully. “thanks! i’ll see you guys in a minute. save me a dance, party girl.” you tell dina, and she nods. “you better come find me to dance!” she warns, and you giggle as you begin to make your way to the back of the frat house.

the only bedroom downstairs is usually used for seven minutes in heaven, or for movie nights. when you push your way into the bedroom the room is full of smoke, and you spot ellie sitting on the bed. she’s wearing a buttoned up flannel shirt, and those old faded jeans that you love on her. she’s staring out of the closed window, seemingly deep in thought; her short brown hair barely reaches the nape of her neck, and you can’t help but stare for a minute as you lean against the doorframe. she takes another drag of the joint, inhaling the smoke and keeping it in her throat before releasing it. “hey there.” you pull her out of her thoughts, causing her to snap her head in your direction.

ellie’s eyes change as soon as they land on you. her face expression goes soft. “hey. what are you doing here?” she questions, her voice light but clearly confused. “dina convinced me to come.” you explain shortly as you walk in, inching closer to ellie. you don’t seem to notice the way those pale green eyes seem to roam up and down your body as you stand in front of her. she holds the joint out, offering you some. ellie knows you love to smoke, you’re not a drinker, but you’ve always been a smoker. growing up, you were the only one who was always down to get high with ellie. it was, shamefully her favorite thing. getting high alone or with anyone else wasn’t the same for her.

you gladly take it, placing the joint between your lips before fixing your sweater, and taking the lit joint out of your mouth. you hold the smoke while you hand it back to ellie, offering her a cute little smile that makes something in her chest clench. you cough a little after exhaling the smoke, and it makes her chuckle. “good?” she asks, and you nod, “what strain as that?” you wonder out loud, “cherry chem.” she answers vaguely, placing the joint between her own lips as she reaches into her backpack, retrieving a little wooden box. you watch inquisitively as she opens the box and reveals a bunch of freshly rolled joints.

“here.” she says as she pulls out five and hands them to you. you shake your head, “no, it’s okay—“ she cuts you off, “you don’t wanna get too drunk tonight, do you, princess?” she asks, the old nickname causing you to blush under her droopy, hooded eyes. you reluctantly accept them, knowing ellie is right. you always get too drunk when you don’t smoke in order to level yourself out. “thanks els.” you thank her with that god damn smile on your face, and ellie feels as if the sun is shining on her face. you make her feel so warm.

“sit down.” she says, handing you the nearly finished joint, as she pats the empty space right beside her. you scrunch your nose in disgust, “no way, i saw joan sanders come in here with tommy last month. i know what happens on this bed.” you says in a prissy tone that causes ellie to laugh. “such a priss.” she mutters as she pulls you by your hips and causes you to fall onto the bed right next to her. you gasp, pushing her arm roughly. “ellie!” you squeal in disgust, but you get a whiff of her cologne that causes your head to go fuzzy. your face is hot, and ellie is smirking at you in a way that causes the butterflies in your belly to repopulate.

“it’s almost finished.” you scowl, and ellie shrugs as she snatches the joint out of your hands, tossing it into the ashtray. “i’ll light another one. unless you got somewhere to be.” she raises a brow, and you shake your head, flashing her a puzzled look. “aren’t you supposed to be hanging out with tiffany tonight? you guys are always at every party together.” you point out, and you notice the way ellie tenses at the sound of her girlfriends name. her demeanor shifts as she reaches for another joint, and lights it.

“she’s with her friends tonight. you know ashley and miley?” she asks with clear disdain on her face. you nod, “i know of them. they’re on the cheer team right?” you respond with a question, and she merely nods. “yeah. she’s with them i think.” ellie mutters, and you go quiet for a minute. “dina told me you guys have been fighting lately...” you start, and ellie rolls her eyes. “… why didn’t you tell me anything?” you ask her, and she shrugs. “didn’t wanna bother you with my dumb ass relationship problems.” she mumbles, as she hands you the joint.

you throw her a look of surprise, “your problem are not dumb, ellie.” you say sternly, and she scoffs. “they are. she’s… she’s being stupid.” she murmurs, and you furrow your brows. you’ve never heard ellie speak negatively about tiffany before. if anything, whenever she’d bring the blonde up she’d have this dorky grin on her face. now she looks exhausted. “what happened?” you ask carefully, and ellie freezes. you’ve known each other for years and ellie tells you everything; yet she doesn’t want to tell you about the this. the more you think about it, the more you realize ellie’s never told you anything about her and tiffany fighting. not even once.

she seems to have put a wall up for the first time without you even noticing. have you really been pulling away that much, that you didn’t even notice something’s been going on with her? in your defense, you were only pulling away from her to protect your heart. you knew ellie could never want you the way you want her, and whenever you saw her with tiffany, it hurt.

she shakes her head refusing to tell you. “it’s nothing.”

your brows knit together, she’s never shut you out about anything. ellie’s even told you all of the embarrassing things about herself; she was an open book with no filter when it came to you… but right now it seemed like she didn’t want to tell you what the arguments between her and tiffany are about. the silence in the room is thick, and you can hear the muffled music coming from behind the door. you open your mouth to speak, but jesse rushes into the room, “hey ellie, dani wants to know if she can buy a few joints off you.” the dark haired boy states causing ellie to get up. “yeah, sure. come on, wanna get a drink?” ellie asks you. you nod, standing up and following the brunette and jesse out of the room.

there’s even more people here than there was when you first arrived, and as you check your phone, you realize you were with ellie for nearly thirty minutes. ellie reaches for your hand so she doesn’t lose you in the crowd, and you gladly take it. your stomach flips as soon as your skin meets hers, and she leads you over to the kitchen. jesse walks up to dani with you and ellie not far behind, and your eyes wander around the crowded area as ellie begins to make a deal with the basket ball player. ellie squeezes your hand when she’s done, and the smile she flashes you makes your knees weak.

“whatcha’ want to drink?” she asks you with that cute raspy voice that drives you crazy. “just a cranberry vodka, if you guys have any cranberry juice.” ellie’s sure you don’t mean to look up at her with those sexy lidded eyes, but you do and she finds her mouth going dry. “coming right up.” she winks at you, and nearly grimaces at how awkward she is. you giggle while she makes your drinks, the buzz from ellie’s weed barely now hitting you. you’re partially reminded of why you’ve been trying not to smoke; because whenever you’re high, ellie is all you can think about. it makes you sad knowing she’s probably thinking about making up with her girlfriend right now.

ellie hands you your drink first, before making her own. you take a sip, grimacing at the strong taste of alcohol, “ellie!” the girly voice nearly causes you to wince as tiffany bounces up to the brunette; wrapping her arms around the back of ellie’s neck. you don’t see the way ellie forces a smile because your eyes are now glued to the red drink in your cup. “hey babe.” ellie greets her girlfriend, and the term of endearment causes a pang of pain to linger in your chest. you take a swig of your drink, and ellie looks over at you apologetically. you flash her a small, reassuring smile yet she can see it isn’t your usual smile.

ellie wants to say something to you, but before she can, dani makes her way back to you both. “uh, hey y/n.” the basketball player greets you, and you gratefully find an excuse to pry your gaze off of ellie and tiffany. “hey dani. how did you do on mr. lyndon’s quiz yesterday?” you ask her, and ellie tries not frown as she notices the way the taller girls eyes wander over your body. “i did terrible! i can’t believe midterms are next week. i’m not ready.” the tall girl admits and amusement glints in your eyes as you look up at her. “i like your necklace, by the way.” she adds, complimenting the silver necklace dangling off your collar bone. you smile brightly, your fingers going to play with the necklace your mother gave you before you left to college. you and your sisters all have the same one.

“thanks. my mom got it for me when i turned eighteen. i like your jacket.” you pull on the ends of her varsity jacket, batting your eyes up at her, and tiffany frowns as you don’t notice that ellie’s hard gaze is fixated on you. tiffany definitely notices, and it causes her to scowl. “wanna go smoke?” dani asks, pulling a joint out of her pocket. you grin, but ellie intervenes. “i already smoked her out.” the brunette clarifies, locking eyes with the jock and flashing her a warning look that makes you frown. dani looks at you, ignoring ellie and smirking right at you. “wanna go for round two, princess?” she asks, and something in ellie’s stomach twists uncomfortably at the sound of dani calling you “princess”.

“sure. i’m always down to smoke.” you say, and you flash ellie a look that she doesn’t recognize before you wrap yourself around the jocks arm. ellie keeps her eyes on you as you disappear out of the kitchen with dani, “looks like dani is getting lucky tonight.” tiffany declares, pulling ellie out of her thoughts. if ellie weren’t so preoccupied with thinking about you and dani, she would’ve found that comment strange. but ellie is high and she isn’t thinking about anything other than you giving those eyes to dani walsh.

ellie’s face twists at the mere thought of you hooking up with the raven haired girl tonight. ellie can’t come up with a single reason why she feels so upset about it; you’re single after all, and dani is undoubtedly every girls type. she shakes her head, “no. y/n’s not that kind of girl.” ellie says more to herself than to her girlfriend. tiffany scoffs, “did you not see what i saw? your friend is totally into her.” tiffany says as she takes ellie’s cup and takes a swig. she makes a face, “ugh. cranberry? seriously, ellie? you know i hate cranberry.” she mutters in disgusts, and ellie flashes her a sheepish smile.

“sorry, it was y/n’s drink choice.” the brunette replies, and tiffany rolls her eyes. “what?” ellie asks, detecting the clear annoyance that came from her saying your name. “nothing.” tiffany mutters and ellie rolls her eyes, a wave of frustration washing over her. “seriously, what’s wrong? you look pissed.” ellie points out, and the shorter girl flashes her a sardonic expression. “oh, now you noticed? you’ve been so preoccupied with y/n tonight, you haven’t even talked to me!” she snaps, and ellie’s eyes widen. “what!? you’re the one who ditched me as soon as we got here to hang out with your friends! what do you want me to do? follow you around like a puppy all night?” ellie begins to raise her voice, losing her cool.

“no i don’t want that! i want you to care about me more than you care about y/n!” she shouts, and ellie shakes her head in bewilderment. “what the fuck is your problem with her?! y/n’s my best friend, and i love her! i love you too, but fuck, tiffany!” ellie is clearly losing all the cool inside of her body, if she was angry before she’s even angrier now. “but what?” the blonde challenges, crossing her arms and flashing ellie a stern look. ellie goes quiet, “say it.” tiffany adds demandingly, and ellie scoffs, “say what?” she mumbles, playing dumb. “what you’ve always known but never had the balls to admit. you love me, but you’ll never love me as much as you love her.” tiffany snaps, and ellie can only stare at her with inscrutable features etched onto her face.

the silence is telling, and it seems to give tiffany the only answer she needs. “i’m done coming second in this relationship, ellie. you have to tell me right now… do you love me more or her?” tiffany’s voice is harsh and up for no debates. ellie lets out a breathless chuckle, more so because she’s surprised at the absurd question. “are you serious?” she questions, her voice laced with pure disbelief. tiffany is staring at her as if ellie is the crazy one, and it just now hits ellie that you’ve been alone with dani for over fifteen minutes.

“i don’t have time for your shit tonight, dani. y/n’s cross faded and i’m not gonna let her go home with some sleaze from the basketball team, all because you’re jealous.” she hisses, as she turns around to walk away, but tiffany stops her by reaching out and grabbing her arm. ellie spins and around to face her girlfriend; her patience wearing thin. “i’m jealous!? ellie, look at you! you’re going crazy because y/n might hook up with someone else!” she exasperatedly snaps, and the words seem to knock some sense into ellie. she glances down at her shoes, a bit ashamed; “look me in the eye and tell me right now that you’re not in love with her.” the shorter girl demands. ellie’s eyes lock with tiffany’s piercing blue eyes, and all she can think about is you.

you and your smile. you and your laugh. the way you say her name, and how you remember everything she says. the tiny scar on your back nobody else knows about. the way your eyes light up when you’re excited…

ellie wants to say no. she wants to be a good girlfriend and assure tiffany that she’s in love with her and only her… but as she thinks about your soft eyes being directed at some jock looking to get “lucky”, ellie knows she can’t say it. tiffany lets out a scoff, shaking her head before loosening her grip on ellie’s wrist. “you can’t even say it! you can’t even look at me and lie about it!” tiffany pushes her finger into ellie’s chest, and ellie feels an overwhelming sense of guilt as she begins to calm down. her thoughts seem to rationalize but she knows she’s already fucked up. “tiff…” she trails off, and the cheerleader shakes her head, tears pooling in her baby blue eyes.

“just go get her before she leaves with dani.” tiffany sounds defeated, and a part of ellie is telling her to stay and fix things with tiffany, but there’s a loud voice in her head telling her to go and make sure you haven’t left with that other girl. ellie doesn’t say anything else as she walks out of the kitchen, leaving dani alone. she’s certain whatever was left of the relationship is now over, but she can’t seem to care. you’re the only thing on her mind as her gaze flitters all over the room in search for you. her eyes zero in on dina who is dancing with someone ellie barely knows; the brunette doesn’t think twice before interrupting.

“have you seen y/n? she’s with dani and she’s pretty faded. i wanna make sure she’s okay.” ellie rushes the words out, sounding like a nervous wreck. dina stops dancing for a moment, raising a brow, “uh, i just talked to y/n like four minutes ago, she seemed fine. she said her and dani were gonna smoke and maybe walk back to her dorm.” dina winks insinuatingly, and ellie’s heart falls into the pit of her stomach.

“shit… did they leave through the front or back?” ellie sounds apprehensive, and it causes a wave of confusion to wash over the raven haired girl. “the front i think… wait why does it matter?” dina questions, and ellie shakes her head. “because all dani wants to do is get in y/n’s pants.” ellie hisses, and dina raises her brows in slight shock at the sudden outburst. she watches ellie rush off, and before she can think about chasing after her best friend, jesse swoops in and pushes past the guy dina had been dancing with. “mind if i cut in?” jesse asks hopefully, and dina nods happily, quickly forgetting about you and ellie.

ellie goes out the front door of the frat house, and her eyes flicker around in search for you. when her eyes land on you, her stomach knots up as she sees you’re now wearing dani’s jacket and saying something that ellie can’t make out. her eyes widen and her mind races, as you two begin walking in the direction of the dorm rooms. ellie’s heart nearly stops beating, and it’s like her body has a mind of its own as she begins to rush over in your direction. “y/n wait!” she calls out and you stop in your tracks, spinning around at the sound of your best friends voice.

“ellie?” you sound confused; whenever her and tiffany get together during a party like this, you almost never see her till the next day. “is everything okay?” you ask as she stalks up to you. she has this unrecognizable look etched onto her face, “i just… i needed to talk to you—“ ellie cuts herself off when she sees the smile that was on your face drop. “is it tiffany? did you guys fight again?” you ask, clearly concerned. dani looks at you, then ellie, “i can give you two a minute of you want.” she tells you, and you offer her a grateful smile. “i’ll be right there.” you promise, and ellie hates how soft your gaze is when it’s directed at the jock.

dani offers you an annoyingly charming smile before walking a few feet away from you and ellie. “what’s wrong? what happened with tiffany?” you you ask her, and ellie shakes her head. “since when is dani your type?” she completely ignores your question, going straight for what’s been bugging her all night. you look taken back by the disdain in her voice, causing you to let out a breathless chuckle. “how is she not my type? she’s cute, and nice…” you trail off, and ellie blows a raspberry with her mouth. “so that’s all it takes for you to hookup with someone?” she practically interrogates you, causing you to frown.

“excuse me?” you respond, the offense in your tone clear as day. “what’s your problem? just because we’re hitting it off and i’m going to let her walk me back to my dorm, doesn’t mean i’m going to let her screw me, ellie!” you hiss, trying to keep your voice down in order for dani not to hear. the brunette scoffs, “yeah, sure, did you see the way you were looking at her? plus you’re wearing her fucking jacket, and she’s been smoking you out… she thinks she’s getting lucky tonight.” ellie sounds angrier than you’ve ever heard, and you can’t for the life of you figure out why. “it doesn’t matter what she thinks, ellie. she’s not getting lucky tonight unless i say so!” you snap.

“besides, why do you even care so much about what i do with dani!? shouldn’t you be up tiffany’s ass like you always are?!” you know you sound much harsher than you ever do, which is why ellie suddenly has this kicked dog-like expression on her face. “i-i don’t care! i just don’t think it’s cool how she started preying on you and trying to get you all high. she’s a sleaze!” ellie argues, and you roll your eyes. “yeah, well, that’s up for me to decide. i’ll see you tomorrow, ellie. when we’re both sober.” your voice is lower than before, and you flash her one last look before turning around and making your way over to dani.

ellie pathetically watches as you and dani begin to leave together, and her heart plummets right into her stomach. tiffany’s words from earlier are ringing in her head; “you love me, but you’ll never love me as much as you love her.” ellie stupidly realizes tiffany was right. she loves you more than she’s ever loved anyone… yet as she watches dani entwine her hand with yours before you both disappear in the direction of the dormitory, she realizes you aren’t hers to love. and you certainly aren’t hers to lose.

a/n(PLEASE READ): here’s a one-shot i wrote earlier this month, i just finished the next part of “i’m right over here, why can’t you see me”. it should be posted by christmas, and yes i will be tagging everyone who commented on it 🖤 - vamp

#ellie williams x reader jealous #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x fem reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #fanfic #jealousy #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #dealer ellie angst #dealer!ellie angst #dealer!ellie #ellie williams angst #tlou #ellie williams x fem reader angst #ellie williams x y/n #jealous ellie williams x reader

[jihoonotes]

he calls you clingy | seventeen imagines

summary: in which the seventeen members call you clingy

pairing: svt x gn!reader

genre: oneshots, romance, fluff, angst | multiple aus !

requested by anon <3

“no right to be mad”

★. streamer!cheol x irl bff!reader | more than friends au

you and cheol are stuck together like glue but lately it seems that only you enjoy spending time with him- at least that’s what he makes you understand.

-

“mr perfectly fine”

★. psych major!hannie x lit major!reader | enemies to lovers

you and jeonghan hate each other at least that’s what you both think. however lately his words seem to weight more, more than you wanted them to.

-

“it’s over”

★. joshua x reader | established relationship au

you and joshua are perfect couple goals, but even perfect couples still have arguments.

-

“daily coffee”

★. flower shop owner!jun x café shop owner!reader | friends to lovers au

jun is your favorite person in “heavens cloud” plaza, but a few rumors is enough to make you wonder if you were ever his favorite.

-

“new student”

★. class president!soonyoung x new student!reader | high school au + childhood friends to lovers au

after transferring to a new high school you’re happy to be in the same school as your childhood friend, but the excitement quickly diminishes.

-

“best friends” | jeon wonwoo

★. wonwoo x gn!reader | best friends to lovers!au + love square!au

best friends aren’t meant to be replaceable, but why is it that someone new could take your place?

-

“bff era is over”

★. anime enjoyer!jihoon x sanrio stan!reader | brother’s best friend au

you like spending time with your brother and his friends, especially one of them. however it seems that he isn’t too happy about your presence lately.

-

“my first and last”

★. seokmin x gn!reqder | established relationship au

your love for seokmin was always evident and you knew nothing could come in between you two, until someone from his past returned.

-

“what’s wrong with secretary kim?”

★. secretary!mingyu x ceo!reader | arranged marriage

being ceo has its perks but sometimes certain things will be out of your control- like feelings.

-

minghao | tba

-

seungkwan | tba

-

“cheer up baby”

★. cheerleader!vernon x soccer player!reader | college au

not only are you the striker of the soccer team, but you also seem to strike out with the pretty boy of the cheer team.

-

chan | tba

#seventeen smau #seventeen social media au #seventeen x reader #seventeen x y/n #kpop social media au #social media au #seventeen au #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen drabbles #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen series

[ros3ybabe]

August 15th, 2023 🎀

My university resumes classes tomorrow! I am so excited to really begin and solidify my morning routine and get back into the school mindset and grind. I'm really planning on being successful this semester.

With the new semester starting, I figure it's time to set out some new goals and things I want to accomplish this semester.

Fall Semester Goals 🌸

🩷 Academic Goals -

Pass every class with an A, no exceptions. I took on an easy class load for a reason.

Join 1 or 2 clubs. There's a club related to my major that I'm looking into, as well as a kpop club and a Japanese club that I'm looking into joining if I have the ability to.

Put effort into my classes. Don't miss class without a solid, valid excuse. Actually study and review class material outside of lectures. Ask questions in class and don't be afraid to go to office hours or tutoring.

🩷 Personal Goals

Stick to a consistent morning routine! Workout, journal, read, make my bed, skincare, etc. Consistency builds confidence.

Pamper myself regularly. For me, this means the occasional retail therapy moment and getting my nails done every 4 to 6 weeks. I don't normally get my nails due to the nature of my job, but if I keep my nails short and not too flashy, it'll be great! My first appointment is at the end of this week, and I'm excited! The picture of nails I included is actually how I'm getting mine done!!

Routinely attend appointments. That includes lab work, therapy, psych, dental, and general physician appointments. My health is a priority, and I want to make sure I stay on top of it this semester.

🩷 Social Goals

Attend study group sessions when applicable

Again, join a club or two. It's the best way to make friends with similar interests.

Attend social networking events on my campus. They have career fairs and professional fairs all the time. As a junior in university, I think it's time I start building some connections for future internship and career opportunities.

I also have some physical goals, but I will not be including those here as to not accidentally trigger anyone. I don't have particular deadlines for any of the goals I mentioned, but I feel like it's important to have these goals so I know the direction I want my semester to go in.

I'm really excited for this semester. It's time I put my best foot forward and succeed. I know I can do this. My GPA will increase, I will recieve more scholarships, and I will pass everything with high marks. I believe in myself.

To everyone also beginning their semesters, good luck!! I wish you all the best success in every way and that you all thoroughly enjoy everything these next few months bring!

Til next time, lovelies !! 🩷

#pink pilates girl #pink pilates princess #self care #self development #self love #wonyoungism #health & fitness #it girl #mental health #physical health #school #college studyblr #girly stuff #student #student life #studyblr #study aesthetic #pink aesthetic #vanilla girl #green juice girl #that girl energy #that girl #it girl energy #clean girl #wonyoung #kpop #pink academia #pink blog #pink moodboard #coquette

[jupitervega]

fleein the south part II

hi, i'm ri & i'm an autistic nonbinary trans guy-lite-ish person. 4 years ago i moved out to denver from mississippi (where i was born & raised) & immediately had a massive improvement in my quality of life. i was able to access medical & psychiatric care, my career stabilized, people were addressin me with correct terms for the most part, & i was startin to feel like life had finally begun

unfortunately when the lease ran out on our house end of summer last year my roommates decided not to renew, & then the people who were gonna be my new roommates backed out last minute. in a panic i looked for other options but with time runnin short & top surgery approachin i decided to recover at a friend's house & move back to mississippi once my surgeon cleared me to travel cross country so i could regroup somewhere i figured would be less expensive & at least somewhat familiar

that, friends, was a very costly & painful mistake! every single problem that made me wanna move away in the first place has only exacerbated!

i'm comin up on 8 months post top surgery, i have a beard, & i'm still gettin called ma'am/she/her. trump flags & signs still adorn many yards/porches here. hatred & bigotry run rampant in local politics. the other day i didn't even enter one of the convenience stores in the town where i live when i stopped by because they had posted a very thinly veiled racist sign on the door

when i arrived back here i was not even a full month outta surgery & i had a minor complication, so i went to the emergency room cause what else was i sposed to do? applied for charity as i had around $100 to my name at that point, which i THINK? got approved? also applied for mississippi medicaid the same day, which got denied almost outright as i have no children. so i've been uninsured since november & rationin the 3 month supply of my psych/migraine meds i received before leavin colorado for goin on 7 months. never mind bein able to access hrt!

job prospects here are Not Great! i've had to collect unemployment for a while as i cannot for the life of me find a full time job with a livin wage. otherwise i literally cannot make ends meet as the jobs i've held so far down here are payin average 50% or less of what i was makin in denver. even with the part time gigs i've had i have yet to crack 30hr/wk on any kind of regular basis

housin is an absolute shitshow. my lease is up 1 july (got a month extension) & i've been searchin everywhere for an affordable place of my own or at least a good roommate. the more affordable studio/1bd apartments go for around $700 & up, but most have income requirements of 2.5-3x the monthly rent which, considerin previous point abt wages, is near impossible. roommate listins are available but the majority are questionable at best & seekin a live-in bangmaid at worst

with all these considerations i spent the past few weeks feelin worse & worse lookin for somewhere close to the job i currently have. the leases are like 6mo-1y so i was picturin another year down here & how i was gonna survive, let alone thrive. my thoughts got darker & darker. i'd wake up in the mornin & be sad/disappointed i'd survived the night

this is no way to live

i snapped a few days ago. said to myself "if i'm destined to struggle wherever i go, i'd rather do it somewhere i actually Wanted to be in the first place" & started applyin for housin in denver. waitin to hear back from my first option & have secured a backup with a friend with a spare room for 6mo in case that falls through

right now i need help gettin the hell out! i've got first month's rent already put back, i can continue to collect unemployment until i land a good job in denver, & i'm already reachin out to find somewhere to work. i just don't have anywhere to go for another month or two to save the money i'll need to travel almost 1200mi (~1900km) back to colorado. i'll need at least $500 to make gas/food happen durin the time it will take me to get there, & i need it by the first of july (38 days from day of postin)

please help me escape!!!

ca: $jupitervega

vmo: jupitervega

ppal

please please please donate whatever you're able! pls boost!

thank u so much for readin, pls have an item from my emergency happy photo folder for yr enjoyment

#emergency #pls help #pls boost #emergency move #emergency transport #fundraising #help #mutual aid #mutual fund #direct action #direct aid #help pls #emergency assistance #time sensitive

[entumtum]

Chapter Two: Partners

pairing: toji x afab reader (used y/n in the fic)

content: jjk college au, fluff, a bit nonsensical, gets a little more suggestive in this one (like 5%? huhuhu)

kinda proofread already hehe

chapter one | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five

-----

“ughh…” the morning rays were peeking through your window as you groaned, smacked your alarm off and regretted drinking so much at dinner the night before. you were invited to eat with your new college friends and wanted them to like you. of course, there was another reason to join them, right? 

korean barbeque gave them a chance to see how skilled you were at grilling meat and making sure that everyone was filled and satisfied by the end of the night. obviously, it also gave you a chance to slip Toji more meat slices than the others - your genius (?), subtle way of flirting. you blushed at the thought of your actions and covered your face with the blanket. you remember feeling a blend of pride and embarrassment coursing through your veins as you served him - and was he smirking when you did that? you hope that he was just buzzed from the drinks.

you got ready for your morning lecture, mentally resolving to not be late for anymore classes this term. after a quick shower, you threw on the first things you saw in the closet, grabbed your glasses (the salty dinner made you wake up with puffy eyes that were not lens-ready) and sprang out of the room with your backpack. thank god that there wasn’t a line at the coffeeshop. “one iced latte, extra shot, please,” you mumbled. you couldn’t wait for the caffeine to kick in.

yesss, i made it. the classroom was almost empty and you chose a seat at the back. as you took a few more sips of your coffee and started taking out your stationery, the doors opened and more sleepy students shuffled in. a few girls from your class yesterday, a couple of boys who look like they stayed up all night playing video games, and him. 

oh… OH. you did a double-take.

Toji scanned the entire room and his eyes met yours. did he see me? maybe if i looked away, he would think it wasn’t me? (so much for genius, subtle flirting the night before.) you slowly directed your eyes back to your bag and started pulling out your laptop; from the corner of your eyes, you saw him bound up the steps, two at a time, till he reached your row. don’t come here. he walked towards you. don’t sit next to me. he pulled out the chair next to you and plopped down. 

“morning.”

you turn to look at him, taking in his messy jet black hair and pretty (so pretty) green eyes, and he gave you a gentle smile, the scar on the right side of his mouth moving up. 

“oh, hi…” you began, trying your best to commit to the ‘calm’ persona you showed your new friends the day before. “i thought you were a finance major, what are you doing in a psych class?”

“it’s an elective - psych’s interesting,” he replied. there was a slight pause as he peered at your face. “nice glasses by the way, they're cute,” he commented nonchalantly as he turned to his bag to take out his course materials.

you almost choked as his compliment threw you off guard. “th-thanks, i didn’t feel like stabbing my eyes with lenses this morning.” he let out a small laugh. what is happening right now? 

the class was in session and you did your best to pay attention. your eyes kept shifting towards whatever he laid out on the table as you tried to find out more about him - his laptop had a black case, notebook was black, pen ink was black… i can’t read him at all. he didn’t write anything throughout class too, but when he started typing notes, you imagined what those thick, veiny arms could do to you…

“last item i wanted to raise: there will be a report due right before finals that requires you to find one other person to work with. i know some of you joined this class with your friends so i’ll give you the freedom to choose your partners but for the love of god, if you fall out after this, don’t come find me,” your professor warned. you and Toji chuckled.

“i guess we’re partners for this then.”

“hmm? what?”

“doesn’t look like you joined this class with anyone, neither did i. let’s be partners.”

you blinked twice, thrice at Toji and managed a small “sure!” before turning back to your lecturer. you don’t remember how she closed the session nor how everyone started packing up and leaving. Toji stayed seated next to you as most of the students filed out and only then did you start shuffling things into your bag, still reeling from what you agreed to five minutes ago.

“what classes do you have after this?”

“oh! uhh… i’m free the rest of the day,” you said cheerfully, forcing your voice to not crack.

“let’s go for lunch,” Toji said while standing up, his right hand ruffling your hair, causing a bolt of electricity to shoot through your body. you were glad that he was walking away so he didn’t see your face burst into flames.

#jjk fluff #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader

[twogyuu]

reel love [masterlist - archived]

Pairing: Vernon x fem!reader (minor/brief Mingyu x fem!reader)

Featuring: Seungkwan, Yeri, Wonwoo, mentions of Jun, other made up characters

Synopsis: Tired of seeing you hopelessly pine over Mingyu after all these years, your best friends, Seungkwan and Vernon (by default - not by choice), take it upon themselves to set you up with the dreamy art major. Even if everything goes as planned, what happens when you find yourself falling for one of your wingmen instead?

Genre: Fluff, crack, minor angst, film major!Vernon, art major!Mingyu, environmental engineering major!Seungkwan, mechE major!Wonwoo, psych major!Yeri, math major!reader, F2L, idiots-to-lovers, one-sided to mutual pining, unintentional love triangle

Warnings: PG-13, specified per chapter. Will most likely have some level of profanity use because I have the mouth of a sailor.

Estimated WC: ~50K . . .? (this is a very rough estimate lol)

Estimated start date: Week of Friday, Dec 2nd

Permanent Taglist: @sleeplessdawn @aceofvernons @sadkidwarexpert @rockwidthyou @woozarts @wonuziex @bibinnieposts @nanamioo

If you would like to be added to the series taglist, please send an ask to ensure you're on it! I try my best to keep up with the requests in the comments and DMs, but it's not always a guarantee I'll remember to check them since I keep track of the taglist via the tags. Thank you!

A/N: Jokes on me you - we're making this a (short) series instead 🤡

prologue

one

two

[discontinued until further notice]

#vernon x reader #hansol x reader #vernon fluff #vernon crack #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen crack #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #vernon scenarios #vernon imagines #hansol fluff #hansol crack #reel love chs:taglist

[wroteclassicaly]

Summary: Two years. You never drive far anymore, you don’t linger outside of your new city limits. Because how can you drive into the desolate life you once had? Then again, Hawkins and its story book tragedies have a way of bringing you back for more. A mangled marriage, an abandoned two story, and a loved one in turmoil, it finally brings you back home.

Parings: Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, shitloads of angst, mentions of major health trauma (it’s heart related, so be warned before reading, as I don’t want to trigger anyone), that angsty angst, but with a happy ending, & obvious smut/nsfw content that will appear later in the story!

A/N: Sneak peek/teaser into my new series, and the first one I’m publishing for this fandom — That House In Indiana (inspired by Ethel Cain’s ‘A House In Nebraska’. Lyrics below that I obviously don’t own) There will be a happy ending, so don’t worry! I’ve also drawn off myself for the situation with Wayne, based off what happened to my own dad. It’s pretty rough, but Wayne will be okay — I promise! He has a health crisis in this that might trigger some people, so please DON’T read if you know it’ll upset you! And let me know what y’all think if you do read, please and thank you? ❤️💘❤️💘

February 1st, 1990

~*~

Labored breaths and bed sores, sing it to me all day long

When the aching sound of silence used to be our favorite song

You and me against the world, you were my man and I your girl

We had nothing except each other, you were my whole world

Then the day came and you were up and gone

And I still call home that house in Nebraska

Where we found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor

Where the world was empty, save you and I

Where you came and I laughed, and you left and I cried

Where you told me even if we died tonight, that I'd die yours

~*~

Shaking hands with chipped polish of a once fresh manicure, now worried down from alternating chewed grinds between chattering teeth and trembling lips, stained with overflowing salt — switch to a tight grip around a faded leather steering wheel, the cracking leather mingling with that of rustling denim. Scattered neon pink chips spray nail beds, making you twitch with the need to placate that urgency in your guts that pummels the muscles, seizing those in your eyes to force you to glance at where the gold band used to sit, used to distract you so perfectly. You were sure that you’d gotten over that. Funny what delusions the mind can bank on to get you through destruction and pain. You sniffle upon a jagged exhale, breath coming out choppy and overused.

Your body feels stuck to the seats, melted into a frozen statue. You really don’t want to be you, to think. Hell, your thoughts border on everything they shouldn’t, all the what-ifs, the blames, past tragedies, and your wishes that if this was the end result — maybe it would’ve been better if you died that night in the Spring of 1986. Long drives that aren’t in line with the simplicity of five minutes, you’d avoided for the last two years. Four hours from your one bedroom townhouse in Illinois to a hotel room in your hometown of Hawkins, Indiana — you’re a prisoner to your psyche.

You’ll see your crumbling dream in the form of white plaster, broken wood planks, and rotten rose bushes, frosted across shattered glass windows — ones you had stewed over for days on what color would look the best for curb appeal, and a large for sale sign in the front yard that was once littered with the cars of friends and loved ones. That very same home, the one you had shaped with your partner, that curly haired, doe eyed boy that you first met when he gave you money to pay for the groceries you couldn’t quite afford when you were fifteen, unbeknownst to you that it was his last five dollars, but he gave it to you because he knew you needed it more. He’d be fine as long as you were. You don’t have to try to embrace every whisper his hands had gifted your skin with. Your walls are gone, body ripped open and bare for the entire town you’d left behind two years ago.

The scenery is starting to fill in, barren trees near bloom. Maybe an early Spring, you can’t be sure? Your tires click against wet asphalt when you turn, splashing water on the chrome body of your car as you head into the embankment of treetops that glow, entwined into an arch that blankets the road in charcoal shadows. You manage to raise your hand to hit your windshield wipers, crystal clearing in a thick smear. Your sclera, however, floods over, lashes sticking to raw under eyes, puffy and exerted. You swallow harshly around a raw and wet throat, foot accelerating the gas pedal. You have to get there.

You haven’t slept since you heard his voice, your ears floating into a familiar peak, a swell of overwhelming longing stealing every ounce of breath from your lungs, trapping your diaphragm beneath whimpers not cried. You knew right away that something wasn’t okay. He called for the first time in years, he was in the place of his uncle, your confusion palpable as you hadn’t expected the youth for the familiarity of your weekly calls with his own family. You could hear his deep voice, raspy and shrouded in painful storms unmatched. Your body was like a dead weight, fingers struggling to hold onto the receiver, tone a mere whisper, one that felt like broken glass being dragged out through your windpipes.

“What’s wrong, Eds?”

“He… I, Y/N—“ Like a plea that was too silent to fully find its vessel, his voice became caked with an ocean of tears, thick like the swamps of isolating despair.

You’d almost resorted to begging, but you had known, even then, Eddie always took his own path to processing grief. Resisting an instinctual soothe towards him was like rejecting the air that earth offered you.

Your fingers prickled in an uncomfortable heat, numb and dulled, tongue heavy and choking you. The same as that night you awaited to hear whatever horror Hawkins had dropped into your lives once more.

“It’s Wayne.” There was an eerie quietness as Eddie had caught up with himself and moved forward enough to inform you. You couldn’t have stopped the gasping cry that left your mouth if you’d taped it shut.

He’d wanted nothing more than to reach through the phone and take you into his arms, needing to remember what the heartbeat of another human felt like, more specifically — his human. But you weren’t, you hadn’t been, and he wasn’t calling you to tell you that. You loved his uncle like a father. Having to break this news, to lay a layer of pavement over your spirit and let it dry, driving over it to forget, Eddie guiding your heart into another turmoil — it made him want to attempt to dislocate his own jaw.

“What about Wayne? Please tell me what’s going on?” You lost every piece you’d mangled together, helpless to their violent disappearance.

Eddie had trembled as he sighed, shaky and worn. “He had a heart attack a few hours ago.”

Your organ had begun to lose traction, beating sporadically that you were sure some of your bones had been reduced to ash beneath the forceful erratic rhythm. Leaving behind everything but your shoes, coat, keys, and purse, you were already at your front door, phone cord stretching with you. “I’m coming home. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Yeah. Kay. I’ll be here.” Eddie sounded lost, that light he’d accumulated in his lifetime, part of it was dimming. He couldn’t lose the one person that had been with him his whole life. You were already gone. This would devour him whole.

You sit up straight in your seat, the action causing your back to crack. You take a few deep breaths, engrossed in the glossy branches in your sky view, thunder roaring in the distance, your vehicle approaching the clearing and ready to hit that final road that will take you home.

~*~

#kristenwrites #eddie munson #my work #my writing #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #stranger things 4 #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things 4 fic #stranger things 4 fanfiction #stranger things 4 fanfic

[mr-jaybird]

actually, reblogging that post about not looking down on community college makes me want to talk about my experiences and career to show like look. you don't have to do what your high school guidance counselor said was best

at 19 (august birthday), i went straight from high school to a four year college. i did really well academically but my mental health was BAD and after two years admin insisted i leave to receive treatment. straight up would not let me be at school anymore (undiagnosed bipolar is a bitch)

at 21 i dropped out and worked for $7.25/hr at starbucks and also got mental health treatment (and meds!!!). at 22 i went back to school at community college part time and knocked out some gen eds (and also a couple classes just for fun, like theater)

at 24 i went to a different 4 year school. i changed my major (to psych), did three years there and graduated with an excellent gpa and extensive research experience (i busted my ass there, and since i took time off to get healthy, it went a lot better!). since i'd knocked out most of my gen eds, i got to concentrate on classes i cared about. my last year i was a part time student and worked as a paid research assistant more extensively, and did a honors thesis. i also taught myself the basics of programming my last year

i graduated at 26 and got my first programming and data science job (in fintech, blegh). it was terrible. my degree was largely unrelated and they didn't give me any training. they also expected constant unpaid overtime. i was just trying to hang in there and make enough to pay my rent. i actually was struggling so much i almost got fired. i had something of a nervous breakdown but stayed there long enough (18 months) to get a better job in the same field

at 28 i went back to the tech side of public mental health health (yay! and my degree is sorta relevant again). i worked for government. their tech stack was...less than corporate, and i was pretty bored. but i did really well there since i was overqualified! but they wouldn't promote me because i had the "wrong" degree :(

i was planning to leave that job because of no upward mobility when i was invited to apply for my current job, which is the head of data science for a public mental health lab at a public ivy university. they had heard of me from my boss's boss at my government job (networking!). i got that job just before i turned 30. my first year there was really stressful because of the neglect of my predecessor. i had another nervous breakdown. but this job was cool about my mental health and gave me a paid leave and i was able to fully recover and come back and thrive. i love what i do now and at 31, i'm getting a significant promotion from where i was when i started here!

the point of all of this is, i did a lot of things people think are "wrong". i took gap years, i dropped out, i changed my major, i went to community college, i had the "wrong" major, i had to take mental health leaves, etc etc. but i'm still successful and happy with my career! when i was working at starbucks and sleeping on a friend's air mattress i thought i'd be there forever. you never know what might happen in the future (good or bad).

if you can avoid having 3(!) nervous breakdowns in a decade that's better than i've done. but listen: i've failed. i've fucked up. i've been kicked out of school and almost fired and i've come back from it! i had to go on a mental health leave from my current job and they are still really happy with everything i've done there (now i'm just working on doing it in a way that's more sustainable). you don't have to be a perfect person to do well.

and seriously, community college saves a ton of $$$ and no one has ever cared i knocked out my gen eds there. you don't have to follow the "traditional" path, you just need to find something that works for you!

[bunnidid-reviews]

DID book Review

DID Book Review

Facts -

Book Title: Pieces of Me by Kate Mclaughlin

Publication date: 2023 (very recent!)

Fiction or Nonfiction: Fiction

Was there a diagnosis of DID? Yes! And very carefully done too

Was the person with DID presented as evil for having DID? Nope!

Major Trigger warning list:

-          Mild sexual scenes/mentions of having sex

-          Mentions of alcohol and vape usage

-          A surprise suicide attempt (ch. 7-8) with descriptions of cutting and blood

-          Lots of time spent in a hospital/psyche ward

-          Loss of autonomy with lotsss of involvement with her family watching over her

-          Non-descriptive incest

-          Locking an alter away

Subjective Review(this is how I felt about it) -

Personal triggering scale from 1 to 10 (1 being not triggering at all, 10 being a badly overwhelming experience that might cause personal harm): 2 with the occasional 4-5(the surprise suicide attempt startled me)

Personal relatability scale from 1 to 10 (1 being unrelatable, 10 being OMG THAT’S ME!): 6

Personal avoidance scale from 1 to 10(1 being eager to get on with it, 10 being impossible to finish): 2, very easy!

My interpretation of the media(Includes spoilers):

The book opens with the main character waking up from a three-day long dissociative fugue state, beside a man she doesn’t quite recognize, but finds she can trust, beside her. Nothing dubious happened, there were no drugs or alcohol involved like she initially assumed (having a history with alcohol abuse and similar fugues). Our main character is sent into a spiral when her new friends address her as Lannie.. But her name’s Dylan.

We find out Dylan’s living a very idyllic life for the most part; her mother’s a semi-famous actress who’s able to give her two children a very comfortable life, including a nice house and letting them both study their respective arts. Dylan’s brother, Mark, is following in his mother’s footsteps into acting. Dylan finds herself to be the black sheep of the family in comparison, struggling with depression, anxiety and BPD all her life. There’s always something amiss with her that doctors haven’t yet figured out, particularly with the memory loss and dissociative tendencies. There’s obviously some tension in the family due to her having so many issues.

With this latest fugue state, it kicks off the search for an answer, any answer, as to why Dylan ends up in these situations. She finds art of hers in all different styles, and the characters she’s been drawing forever seemingly have a presence in her head. Her family and best friend become overbearing in the meanwhile, insisting she can’t be alone anymore, especially in the midst of her blooming romance with the mystery boy she woke up with, Connor. I appreciated that even in the book, Dylan finds it triggering to be so closely watched and loosing her autonomy, because personally that sounds like a nightmare.

After seeing some doctors in the search for something physically wrong with her, Dylan’s best friend suggests Dissociative Identity Disorder. Something she’d seen in youtube videos and did some further research into. She overloads Dylan with information, so she pulls away to process this all..

And wakes up again, this time evidently having attempted suicide in the bathtub.

That’s when the story cracks, and it’s taken from Dylan’s point of view to the other parts, as Dylan floats into the Inner world in a very vivid dream on the cusp of her attempt.

Her inner world is the same house she’d had some dreams of before, loaded with detail and personality that really makes the space her own, inside and out. She has a room of her own there, where she’s introduced to a host(ha) of new characters, like Lannie, Kaz, Dali, Alyss and Scratch. (Scratch being the one who evidently made the attempt on their life)

While in the hospital, Dylan goes through a carousel of parts, especially as her therapist works with her through taking the DES(Is that right? The diagnosis tests, all of em). Dylan is diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, and she launches herself straight into trying to understand herself with this fresh lens.

She goes quickly into trying to figure out what was The Trauma that did this to her, and everyone around her hedges around the same question. As she switches through her posse of alters, what’s left behind paints(or draws in this case) a pretty clear picture of childhood sexual abuse.. By who? No one knows. Everyone wants to know

After about two weeks or so in the hospital, Dylan comes home and gently eases into a life with DID very quickly, smoothly, easily. She builds relationships with her parts, especially Kaz and Lannie, who hang around often for daily life things. Her family, best friend and boyfriend all accept and love her as she is, even if they don’t always get it. But they try, especially the boyfriend, who studies up on helping his new girlfriend ground. (I thought that was very sweet, R does that for me)

It's decided though that Dylan needs to be monitored through her fugue states, and has very little privacy. This is shown.. As a good thing, now that she’s been diagnosed and all.. (I will expand on my thoughts here in a bit)

Halloween comes, it’s the twin’s birthday. Things are going very well, Dylan’s feeling very close to her system as they’d communicated more and switched out less. Life is on a high! She meets with her father and her little half sister and is able to rule out her father as any potential of having abused her…

And then the Uncle Travis shows up to the party. She just knows in her gut, all at once, that it was because of him.

In an instant, Dylan’s pulled back into the inner world to a movie theatre-like room, where all the Main Parts are gathered there. Monet, the part who greets them there, declares that it’s time to know Everything. So they sit down and watch all the memories together on the screen as a different part, Vincent, takes over the front. All together, they remember all the abuse that took place. (It’s described very vaguely, but there’s enough indication to understand that it’s grooming and repeated sexual abuse that took place with Uncle Travis)

Understandably, Dylan is overwhelmed and stays inside a few days. Lannie takes over. No one but the boyfriend had picked up that it was the uncle that did it yet, so the people around her are confused by the sudden change and kinda nudge for Dylan to come back out as soon as possible and adding pressure onto the “What Happened To You” thing again. With the therapists’ help, Lannie is able to switch back to Dylan and communicate to her mother that she can’t be pressured about telling her trauma.

At a family dinner out and about, Dylan is starting to pick up more and more of what makes her uncle a creep. With some concerning mentions of her little half sister spending time with him, she starts to panic when she sees he sits a little too close for comfort with the little sister, and as a hand touches her shoulder.. Dylan cracks.

Scratch comes out immediately, walks straight over and threatens Travis to keep his hands off and that she knows what he’d done. It’s enough to shake him off, the day is saved. the abuser is confronted.

When they get home from eating out, Dylan sits down her family(minus Travis) and explains that she now knows it’s Uncle Travis that had hurt her, and expresses concern for him to continuing the cycle of abuse with other girls, namely the little sister. Everyone is very accepting very quickly for her accusation of incest, but her father and brother stammer in shock to accept. This is snapped down on pretty quickly, though.

Dylan reports the uncle to the police very easily. Evidently everything is very cleanly taken care of because Uncle Travis is arrested shortly after. He attempts suicide in prison, and Dylan only feels the correct feelings feels no shame or apprehension, because he obviously only attempted it because he got caught.

Dylan has the perfect night with her boyfriend. With some warming up, they have the perfect sex.

Dali(the gatekeeper) and Scratch(Persecutor) relent their now obsolete roles and have a very nice, gentle fusion.

Everyone lives happily ever after in the land of functional multiplicity after a month and a half of being diagnosed!

~~~

This book is a Good book. By that I mean that it’s very very carefully written to be respectful and cleaned up to have the right representation. The kind of book you pat on the head and say “Good book!” like a pet who’s successfully fetched the morning paper. It’s written to be very appropriate without any explicit details especially with the trauma memories, to be good for teens to read. I’m absolutely certain that YA DID books are a good niche for this to fill.

But it’s.. Very.. Very clean for a DID representation.

I think all the details for the diagnosis process and healing are correctly written.. For a character who has all the privileges in the world handed to her. A good, honest family who genuinely loves her. Financial support enough that no medical assistance is barred off from her. A good boyfriend who immediately understands. Communication that goes really fucking well right off the bat, the ability to traverse the inner world very quickly.

An immediate understanding of who did it to her. Confrontation of her abuser and his very squeaky clean arrest. All the Correct Feelings. There’s no fighting back from a family confronting the reality of incestuous abuse. There’s no questioning her own memories or real denial portrayed with Dylan aside from a couple of tiny instances sprinkled in.

This is a good book, I’m sure!! But when I read it, I came away feeling.. like I was the dirty one, someone who wasn’t doing it ‘right’, because my healing is incredibly messy and I don’t have an ounce of support from my family like that. I have all the incorrect, messy feelings that lead me to me wanting my own sexual abuser to confirm that I’m lying and that I’m actually the one who hurt him, and have this massive terror of him facing consequences or being hurt.  

I’m certain that a lot of the limitations to depth were due to a word count and a genre limitation, as well as the author’s inexperience with dissociation.

There’s a lot of leaning into some tropes that leave a slightly bitter taste in my mouth, like the insistence that Dylan is the Host and therefore Most Important Of Them All. The family having such a hands-on approach with how she heals makes my skin crawl(as I’m sure many others would feel, because a majority of childhood trauma survivors come from abusive, controlling families), as if Dylan is no longer trustworthy of her own safety because of her new diagnosis. The slap-on-the-persecutor’s-wrist-for-doing-their-job thing. 

(By the way, I want to add that anyone who needs extra support for having a CDD is completely valid!! I do too! But having the family partake in this just.. aaaaa it feels very scary to me!! Especially since Dylan’s persecutor part is an introject of her own mother, and that’s.. Really not touched upon much at all)

The book is Correct. But it’s also.. I don’t know, it leaves me wondering who it’s written for, with such a sanitized version of DID shown here. I’m sure lots might actually find this book empowering, especially if you relate more to Dylan. It’s also a very very easy read because the triggers are kept thankfully super minimal. Maybe this is the book for you? It might be good for you, or it might be alienating, only you can be the judge of that. It feels more like a curiosity for those without a CDD to read(like the author herself)

What they got Right in my opinion:

-          The research and terms used to describe trauma and dissociation seem all up to date

-          Dylan gets a formal, proper diagnosis with both her therapist anddd a phycologist. (It sounds accurate based on what I’ve heard)

-          Each of the Parts that part-take(hehe) in the book seem fleshed out and very well thought-through. They feel like very believable and real parts with believable attachments to each-other. The writer did really nice on building the relationships

-          I really liked the grounding exercises they used in the book! (I tried the one of thinking of animals for the first 5 letters of the alphabet, it really worked?) The boyfriend using multiple senses to calm her down from overstimulation was really nice(a lottt like what R does,..ahh I miss him so)

-          I liked that Dylan was an artist and had actually been drawing Lannie all her life.

-          Scratch being an introject of her mother and having references to the movie Coraline actually line up pretty well with the age Scratch probably split off from, so I found that a bit sneat

-          I liked that Scratch was the one to call out her abuser to protect her little sister, because Scratch was made of resentment for her mother’s not protecting her.

-          Subtle clues throughout that Dylan has trauma before the diagnosis(aversion to touch, inability to connect to people, past alcohol abuse)

 What they got Wrong in my opinion:

-          The extreme ease to which Dylan accesses the inner world, starts communicating and figuring out her memories within… 2 weeks…?

-          Hardly an ounce of denial, either from Dylan, or any of the characters around her. A lot of people aren’t open to understanding DID like that, or even accepting it as a reason for why the way you are.

-          I almost feel like it’s dangerous to insinuate that you should trust your family with so many details about your disorder. (Driven by DID youtube, I told my mom everything once and I’ve regretted it horribly since. This is a memory disorder!! BE CAREFUL OF WHO YOU TELL!! People take advantage of that!!!!!!)

-          Again, in the case of incest in the family, I highly highly doubt telling the family about it ever goes this smoothly. Especially since this is for teens, who likely still have to live with their families, I worry about the influence of ‘must trust your family with details’ might have (again speaking from experience :’) ) I really would have preferred if Dylan’s safety was a found family thing instead

-          The reporting it to the police and having everything solved extremely easily is just.. Insulting to anyone who’s actually had to go through that. Especially for those of who never could find the safe resolve they deserve :(

-          Blackout switches nearly every switch

-          The many mentions of locking away and punishing Scratch for attempting suicide was really difficult to read.. Especially when this was shown as a net positive

-          Host Is Most Important Part trope

-          Host is the only one who Doesn’t Know Yet trope

-          Everything happening in like 2 months???? Extremely easy healing

-          No conflicting worries or feelings about Travis, just all the Right emotions pretty much right away(hatred, desire for justice, ect)

-          A weird line of thinking about how Dylan Created this, as if she had any choice in splitting.

Would I recommend this to someone with DID to read?:  It’s up to you. In some cases, positive reps with happy endings might be just what you need, so I say go for it! But in other cases, it might fuel denial or feelings of self hatred for not being ‘easy’ like this.

If you choose to read, please keep these two things in your pocket: This story is about someone who’s incredibly privileged, and You are not Broken for not healing in 2 MONTHS

#pieces of me #Kate McLaughlin #dissociative identity disorder #complex dissociative disorder #DID in media #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder fiction #dissociative identity disorder book #did book #bunnidid reviews

[vulcankin]

Quirk Mimicking

What is a Quirk?

Quirks in the context of Homestuck (and especially trolls) are a distinct way of typing that expresses the personality, interests, and individuality of a, well, an individual.

For trolls in particular, your quirk is as much a natural preference in speech as it is a traditional action related to troll culture. It’s as important as hemotyping (typing in a particular color, typically and traditionally the color of your blood/hemocaste) or the choice NOT to hemotype/go hemoanon.

While humans may naturally type in a particular manner, or choose to express themselves through a particular color medium, it often does not carry the same cultural connotations as a troll’s hemotyping and quirk usage.

For these reasons and others (comfort, habit, etc) dropping or breaking quirk can range from a little weird or awkward to upsetting or anxiety inducing for a troll.

On rare occasions [x][x] a troll will either drop or partly drop quirk for MAJOR emphasis or to show something is very important to listen to.

Quirk Examples

Sollux Captor:

TA: iim not 2ure why, but ii thiink iit2 liike...

TA: fulfiilliing 2ome requiirement for a true prophet of doom.

TA: iin order for the vii2iion2 two be riight, that ha2 two happen, and the uniiver2e wiill make 2ure iit wiill.

Sollux’s quirk has various elements.

First and foremost, he never uses capitalization unless for emphasis or when typing out his nicknames for people, and he only capitalizes those when in a good mood. There is a distinct lack of emojis or emoticons, outside of rare occurrences/duality puns. His speech is very straightforward and short, being sent in multiple pieces. This shows important aspects of his character such as aloofness, bluntness, and a lack of care for convention.

The use of double ‘i’s, his replacement of “to” or “too” with “two”, and ‘s’s with 2s are all both personality aspects and tradition aspects of his quirk.

The traditional reasoning is that they are a reference to his sign, Gemini, which is similar to the roman numeral 2.

Personally, they have a number of meanings. His dual colored eyes. His bipolarity. Referencing binary in connection to his skills with programming. His vision twofold.

He also types in traditional hemotyping for his bloodcaste, typing in gold.

Combined, these aspects all show parts of who he is, without needing to explain them, and make his unique mark in interpersonal communication.

After he dies his quirk changes (no double ‘i’s, no 2s, no ‘two’s; instead all ‘o’s are 0s) to show that he’s now “0kay” and no longer associates with his prior traits. However, his hemotyping remains gold.

Nepeta Leijon:

AC: :33 < *ac twitches her friendly whiskers at ct*

…-…

AC: :33 < i can tell you like to play games, d33p down you are a guy who likes to play games! 


AC: :33 < i can smell a guy who likes to play games from so fur away with this nose, you have no idea X33

Nepeta’s quirk is slightly more focused around her external connections than Sollux’s, but still expresses her individuality.

The header of her quirk is “:33 <”, which references her catlike nature/affinity, as well as having two mouths like her cat lusus, Pounce de Leon. This carries over into her emojis as well.

All of these relate two her sign, Leo, as relating to big cats.

Nepeta also does not use capitalization, and often does not use most ending punctuation. However, she makes liberal use of exclamation marks, comma and emojis. Her sentences tend to be compound, rather than short and simple. She uses cat puns whenever pawsible.

She also frequently roleplays in her speech, having a personal interest in it, and uses asterisks to denote roleplay actions.

Together, all of these things show her personality as creative, high energy, and fun-loving.

She also types in traditional hemotyping standards using her blood color, olive.

Karkat Vantas:

KARKAT: AND AFTER A BREAKNECK WARP SPEED JOURNEY IN WHICH MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND *EVER* PSYCHED ME OUT INTO THINKING HE DIED *YET A FUCKING GAIN* BY EXPELLING LITER AFTER GRUESOME LITER OF GRUBSAUCE FROM HIS EVERY ORIFICE

KARKAT: WHAT DO I FIND HERE?

KARKAT: WHY, IN ADDITION TO A PAIR OF HUMANS DRAPED IN CIRCUSWEAR AND ALL THEIR FLIPPANT GIBES LOCKED AND GODDAMN LOADED

The main aspects of Karkat's quirk are the use of all-caps, run on sentences, general aggressive tone, and explicit language/gratuitous insults. He also types hemoanon, or in a light grey color that does not represent or reveal his blood color.

Asterisks are used sparingly for emphasis, and he occasionally "whispers" in parenthesis.

Karkat's quirk trends slightly away from the traditional, instead breaking tradition.

Use of hemoanon color typing is both a purposeful and practical rejection of Alternian tradition, to keep his mutant bloodcolor a secret and prevent himself being culled.

It can be argued that his all-caps, aggresive speech is "traditional" in keeping with his ancestor's rage in his final moments as well as his Vast Expletive, however it would be unintentional as Karkat is unaware of his sign's meaning/who his ancestor is.

More so, it's a representation of Karkat's generally heightened emotional and defensive state- usually angry, irritated or panicked. Living life under constant threat of death, he tends to the aggressive/defensive in his behaviors and speech. He is also constantly thinking of things that can go wrong, have gone wrong, or how much things/himself suck(s), and therefore has a habit of venting and speaking in a very ranting-like manner, even in general conversation.

What is “Quirk Mimicking”?

Quirk mimicking is a phenomenon in which a troll (or occasionally a human) will either purposefully or subconsciously adopt quirk traits/habits from another troll.

Similar to mimicry among humans, there are two basic forms of quirk mimicry among trolls- negative mimicry and positive mimicry.

Positive Mimicry

This most frequently happens between quadmates/couples (moirails and matesprits in particular), but can also occur between close friends.

Positive mimicry can latch onto any aspect of another troll’s quirk (or a troll latching onto a human’s typing style) but does *not* include mimicking their hemotyping.

This does not mean completely changing their quirk to match another’s, but more often incorporating small bits of each other’s quirk into their own. It can also be expressed by slipping near full into another’s quirk when in a particular mood state or when saying something in particular associated with that individual.

Examples:

When Sollux and Feferi are matesprits, Sollux occasionally uses fish puns in his speech regardless of who he is speaking to.

Eridan also often uses fish puns when speaking with Feferi, but only with her.

Adjacent:

While not part of quirk mimicry itself, quirk matching is a related phenomenon when two trolls in a quadrant together alter their quirks purposefully to match each others.

The main example of this is in the moirallegence between Nepeta and Equius.

The beginning/“header” of Nepeta’s quirk reads “:33 <“.

The beginning/“header” of Equius’s quirk reads “D - - >”

When the ends of these headers are put together it forms “<>” or a diamond, the symbol used for moirails.

Negative Mimicry

There are many nuanced aspects to negative mimicry.

For humans, negative speech mimicry is typically repeating what someone said in a nasty tone, or mocking someone’s speech patterns.

And while this can also happen in trolls, that’s not quirk mimicry in particular.

Much quirk mimicry is psychological in nature, with one troll mimicking another troll’s quirk in a way that a partner or close friend would, while knowing fully that they are not close enough to do so.

In this way, it’s being done purposefully to both make the other troll uncomfortable as a form of taunt or emotional harassment, almost in a gaslighting or sleezy sort of manner.

This sort of negative mimicry can also happen accidentally, though this is typically with other species outside of trolls, in a manner that is intended to be positive.

If a human (or cherub or otherwise) that a troll was not close enough to tried to mimic them in order to match their energy, or be cute, or thinking it’s something more casual like picking up a friend’s turn of phrase-

The troll they’re mimicking can experience the same negative effects/emotions from that mimicry as they would from a purposefully malicious troll negative mimicking.

(There are occasions where trolls who are very close with other species do appreciate mimicry from their friend/partner, namely when they are close as two trolls would need to be to mimic.

This can be seen with Vriska appreciating John picking up her penchant for 8 vowels and exclamation marks. [x])

***Please note this is not a complete explanation of quirk mimicking in its entirety, just a general overview.

***This is based on the experience/memories of me and a few other trolls (kin and fictive alike.) This may not be accurate for all.

#sol says a thing #homestuck #quirk mimicking #quirk #trollkin #homestuck troll kin #homestuck trolls #homestuck analysis #homestuck kin #long post /

[rebelrebelwrites]

Fic Friday! ❤️ Rebel’s Weekly Fic Recs

I'm back. 😊 A day and several weeks late, but I'm back. I've decided I'd like to keep doing these as much as I can. I hope anyone reading enjoys.

As always, this week’s recs are…

As always, please mind the tags on any recommended story for your own personal preferences.

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The Classic You’ve Heard Of But Somehow Haven’t Read Yet: About you, without you by @aylana-ryvain

What you need to know going in:

A lovely, sad, sweet one-shot written for Haladriel Week where Galadriel returns to Barad-dûr after Sauron’s defeat at the beginning of the Fourth Age. Once there, she discovers a treasure trove of trinkets crafted by The Dark Lord in the hopes that she would someday change her mind. 🥹 Another tragic instant-classic, this fic wrenches at your heart in the best way. Be ready to bookmark!

Complete, Teen

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr and AO3.

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The AU You Need to Immerse Yourself In Because, Well, Wow: Someone Taught You Wrong, Kid by @klynnvakarian

What you need to know going in:

The Western AU I never knew I needed! The VIBES in this fic, I tell you—they’re strong, and pitch-perfect. Between the dialogue and the at first tentative, blink-and-you-might-miss-it moments between Hal and Gal, which then blossoms into something that's more matter-of-fact; a frank romance that feels so fitting for this world and time and space for the two of them… it’s lovely. You’ll be swept away the same as they are. Very excited to see the final piece of it!

WIP, Mature

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr, Twitter and AO3.

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The Complete But Never Forgotten Masterpiece: The Nicest Parts of Hell by @myrsinemezzo

What you need to know going in:

Eru have mercy on my soul, my unprecedented foray into dark fic continues with this gripping, dare I say insidiously enticing fic—and, as always, I mean that in the best way possible. This story settles into your psyche; making you feel just as unhinged as the characters feel. You’re probably asking yourself why, so let me get to the heart of it: the story starts with Galadriel stumbling (practically literally) into Halbrand’s arms… Only problem is, he’s her brother Fin’s boyfriend. 👀 From there, she and Halbrand start a toxic, troubling affair that is impossible to stop reading. (Same goes for this story’s sequel, which is still in progress).

Complete, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr, Twitter and AO3.

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The WIP That Will Wreck You (In the Best Way): And In That Time, I Have Had Many Names by @the-manatee-hammer

What you need to know going in:

I’ve been meaning to share this fic for a long, long time, and I definitely should’ve done so sooner, so forgive me. Full disclosure: I found out about it from a friend who told me that I’d been mentioned in the notes, so again, forgive me for my slightly unbiased opinion. Regardless of how I came to it, I loved it as soon as I started reading! The story sees Halbrand still injured in the healing halls of Eregion—until Galadriel offers to help along the healing with something he’s never tried before. 👀🔥 Cue sexual healing! Spicy, intimate sexual healing, and I think the first time I encountered a virgin Sauron in fic. And hot damn, it’s hot. Unsurprisingly, Sauron is very eager to learn, and a very adept student. It’s been a while since this was updated, but still so worth checking out and subscribing to for it’s sensuality and supremely well done writing.

WIP, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr and AO3.

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The Can’t Stop Consuming No Matter What Time It Is Fic: Stand by Me by @scriberated

What you need to know going in:

Lately I’ve been feeling some major burnout for many reasons, and for me, this fic was a balm at just the right moment! A sequel to this adorable one-shot, it’s an instantly delightful, fully-fledged romcom complete with roommates not-so-secretly pining after each other, fake dating, bed sharing, and that’s just within the first two chapters! 🤩 The premise: Hal and Gal are roommates, and after breaking up with her shitty, absent boyfriend Celeborn in the original one-shot, Hal takes care of Gal while she’s sick. This continuation sees Galadriel trying to navigate their growing closeness, finally agreeing to a trip together to visit Hal’s family—and from there, the romcom shenanigans ensue. This is another one where I can’t wait to see what comes next!

WIP, Mature

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr, Twitter and AO3.

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🤩🤩🤩

Me at all these fics:

Don’t see your story on this list yet? Keyword: yet. Please don’t fret! I can only recommend so many each week, but I am always looking for more stuff to read, share, and generally shower with love, so please feel free to reply with your own fics or your pershaladronal faves. I have plenty more to recommend… ❤️

Until next week!

#saurondriel #haladriel #sauriel #saurgal #sauron x galadriel #galadriel x sauron #galadriel x halbrand #halbrand x galadriel #galadriel x mairon #mairon x galadriel #galadriel #sauron #halbrand #mairon #artanis #saurondriel fanfic #saurondriel fic #haladriel fanfic #haladriel fic #trop fanfic #trop fanfiction #rings of power fanfic #rings of power fanfiction #fanfic recs #fic recs #fic rec #fandom positivity #positivity towards trop fan creators only please

[plural-swag-competition]

Tiptapricot again! I’m not the best for giving recs and info on the comics, but can give some trigger warnings on the show and two of the runs I’ve read! This will all b below cut as it’s as in depth as I can do off the top of my head.

This is a long post, but I’ve tried to make it as informative as possible. It lists some heavy stuff! MK fans are welcome to let me know if there’s things they think I should add, and though I say in the post, anyone is welcome to shoot me an ask about specific triggers! There also may be some typos haha so excuse those.

Without further ado, let’s get into it :-)

First up!

The Lemire Run, 2016

This may not be the best run to jump onto as it has a pre-established cast and is highly referential to past MK work, but it was also the first one I read and I still really enjoyed it! As long as you have a general knowledge of the characters from like a quick wiki read, you should be good.

Warnings for: Medical unreality, unreality, psych ward setting, gaslighting, abusive nurses/orderlies and doctors, shock therapy, drugging, death of friends, warped reality, manipulative Khonshu (the god they work for), further unreality/blending of realities between different headmates, mis-naming, car crashes/ship crashes, death of friends again, arrest/police interrogation, institutionalization as a child though not shown graphically, off-page death of father, internalized ableism/belief that to be normal you must not be a system, invalidation of headmates by another headmate, apparent though not actual alter death (they come back triumphantly, they are all ok), talk of brain and mental space/being “broken” as a form of manipulation.

This is the one I sent a propaganda post in about also! It was one of the first really major positive MK explorations (not the first, the 80s run and a handful of others actually have some real good stuff) and while it still has some funky parts, is a really gorgeous and awesome look at them, and again, has one of my favorite characters!

Second!

The MacKay run, 2021

This one’s the currently ongoing comic run! And while there’s less warnings it should be mentioned that since it’s ongoing, my list may become out of date somewhat soon, esp since issue 25 is apparently going to be 70 pages. But it’s a good time to hop on and join!

Warnings include: general monsters and fighting of them, self hate, internalized ableism and force-fronting by Marc/him being frontstuck for a lot of it, regular therapy sessions with Marc and his therapist that, although not manipulative or toxic or abusive like in other runs, are coerced by the avengers due to a previous run where the system basically took stuff over and took down the avengers for Khonshu (this run is referenced a lot), temporary death of main, discussion of gods, faith, and general theology, vomit in the issue 17 fight, racism/cultural appropriation by the character Jack Russel in the annual, forced switch by an outside partner in the annual.

There’s also a general blanket thing that, while MacKay is doing good at a lot, and issues 14/15 specifically have some really good system conversations facilitated by him working with a system for them, he is still not including Steven and Jake as much as he should, and stuff can feel unbalanced/that he’s forgetting about their systemhood sometimes. It’s overall a very solid run so far, but that’s good to be aware of!

And lastly but not leastly!

Moon Knight, 2022 show

The show is 6 episodes long and on Disney+ or u can pirate it (which. Is what I do haha) and these are what I can think of for warnings.

Best to skim beforehand and then peek at each chunk for each ep as you go. Id be able to give times if I was live watching with someone but I hope these cover stuff generally ok, and you can also look up specific stuff if you need, or send me an ask if you watch about a specific moment and I can find the time stamp! My inbox is always open :-)

Disclaimer that the show also has a lot of levity and comedy and calmer moments within everything I’m going to list. These are just the triggers, and since it is a heavy show it will seem dense, but it’s not just hell all the way through.

Ep 1, The Goldfish Problem—At the very beginning there is a scene where glass is put in shoes and stepped on, there is no blood or pain reaction or visuals of the skin, but that is a constant presence in the background for the whole show as the main antagonist is a cult leader who uses it for self flagellation. Lot of sudden and discombobulating switches accompanied by minor flashing, confusion and paranoia as it involves the beginning of system discovery by a headmate who has no idea what’s going on, a generally eerie vibe involving a large bird headed skeleton creature (Khonshu) popping up, voices from indeterminant origin/people seen in mirrors, scene in the mountains involves seeing the cult, and ideas of good and bad and predestined morality, car chase involving car crashes, guns and blood but not really gore or any especially violent ways of taking out bad guys, missing an important event due to amnesia and lost time, apparent stalking by cult and unreliable coworkers, mild panic attack.

Episode 2, Summon The Suit—More of eerie vibe from first ep and more of big bird man and some flashing, uncomfortable firing from job for perceived mental health reasons, headmates arguing, headmate freaking out and jumping to internalized ableism, person who knows one headmate but not ab the system being confused and frustrated/believing the one fronting is putting on an act, police arrest/kidnapping, more of the cult, discussion of eugenics ideology from cult, panic attacks, one use of the word “Psycho” during a joke, headmates arguing worse and lashing out at each other, manipulation by Khonshu, brief use of alcohol in an obviously unhappy state as coping.

Episode 3, The Friendly Type—Sudden and abrupt switches, coming to mid fight/after an adversary has been killed, confusion, non-graphic suicide as form of escape from protags (falling off cliff, body not shown in detail or close up at all), very intense trial scene involving possession by a god, and weaponized ableism and personality language against mains from antag, both demonizing and infantilizing them, somewhat of a breakdown/lashing out from main because of it, another fight at rich guys place involving guns and knives, as well as choking, and impaling of mains, but impalement has no blood or gore shown, the poles r kinda just through them and they’re alright, some more possible flashing triggers at end with sky scene though more mild.

Episode 4, The Tomb—Headmates arguing/tension, choice to pursue relationship action without direct discussion about it, sounds of dissection of human by a monster (dissection is blurred in background and not shown in detail), scary undead creatures coming out of the dark and fighting with a main, emotional manipulation by cult leader, argument with a partner causing a forced switch, intense guilt and mention of believing one should’ve died, main character death, and at very end and also big one for next ep: unreality, medical unreality, psych ward setting, drugging and restraint of patient, gaslighting, feeling like an “it was all a dream” twist (which is proven to be false, the psych ward here is not real and is a construct of the afterlife, but it is a big scare and can be triggering).

Episode 5, Asylum (biggest ones here and very intense episode)—More of same medical unreality and gaslighting by a doctor, on screen drugging of patient/mains with a syringe, forced trauma memory exploration involving static dead bodies, passive suicidal ideation, off screen drowning, off screen sibling/child death, intense verbal abuse from mother, passive father, alcoholic abusive parent, guilty flashback to older Marc the night Khonshu contacted him which involves an attempted suicide (gun put against chin) and manipulation, headmate hitting their head rapidly during a breakdown, physical abuse from parent with belt (action not shown on screen but build up is and there is briefly audio of impacts), headmates arguing, internalized ableism, discovery of being an introject and negative thoughts about “realness” and self as a result, emotionally abusive doctor, parental/abuser death, alcoholism by main, breakdown at funeral, hitting of kippah on ground during breakdown, intense switch in time of distress, apparent alter death (not permanent but is not resolved in this episode).

IT IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BY ME TO WATCH EPISODES 5 AND 6 IN THE SAME SITTING OR CLOSE TOGETHER. 5 is really fucking intense, and even while being very well done, it can really fuck up your brain and mental space. Episode 6 is a huge balm onto that and makes me cry every time because of it.

Episode 6, Gods and Monsters—Cult carrying out goals, intense grief from living main, dead bodies talking, brief possession by a god, guilt tripping and trauma leveraging by antag onto mains, sudden switch, brief return of psych ward setting (though in a context of triumphing over it/proving it to be a construct), after credits scene involves abduction of antag from a care facility, and murder.

Also general note that the show is really complicated and nuanced in its rep. It has a lot that’s really good but they also made some mistakes. The term DID/Dissociative Identity Disorder is not said on screen, for example, largely because the system themselves don’t know what’s going on/are dealing with a lot of internalized ableism, however it was still a choice by the writers. Some cast and crew members have also said not great things in interviews, but on the flip side, a lot of them have shown they really care.

Oscar Isaac specifically did a whole lot of research for his roles, and has been very respectful and awesome in interviews and in his pushing for the characters to be given the best they can. There’s a lot of discussion to have around all of it, and a lot they can improve in a season 2 if/when we get it, but it’s still a really complex and empathetic exploration of the system in general.

But also, it may not be for everyone!

I’m a singlet, and I’ve talked and discussed stuff a lot with the groups I’m in including systems in fandom, and there’s a lot in it people connect to, but it also may not be the type of show others want to watch and that’s ok. Rep is so nuanced and complicated especially with something so stigmatized, every step forward doing its best but not always nailing it, that everyone will have their varying relationships to it, and what works for some may not be good for others.

But yeah! I love moon knight a lot, and all of the things recommended here while none are perfect each do really amazing things with their stories, art, and explorations. I hope this can help some people interested in checking them out do so in an informed and safe way. My inbox is open if anyone has questions, and I can also point to some other really cool people in the community for specific discussions, recommendations, and more!

Hope you all have an epic and wonderful day! Good job on a swaggy bracket :-D

(ID in ALT)

#this is long enough I’ve likely missed some stuff #so ppl r welcome to let me know and I can add them in a reblog! (since I don’t want the acc op to have to make every change) #but yeah! #moon knight #submission #asks #propaganda

[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

Hi darling!!!! If you are taking requests there is this fic idea I have that won't leave my head (I can't write anything to save myself)and I just adore how you portray the moon boys! So basically..... It's a Marc × Y/N ,Steven ×Y/N , jake × Y/N and the reader knows the boys since they were young but bc she was struggling with sh her parents put her in phych ward at 15 and she couldn't see mark when she turned 18 she managed to leave but Marc was already gone and they meet years later.... I guess it's up to you how it turn out in the end.... Sorry if I'm rumbling I just can't get it out of my head 😅😅😅

Once Upon A December

Pairing: Marc Spector / Steven Grant x fem!Reader (mentions of Jake)

Word Count: 2.5k 

Content Warnings: Explicit talk about self harm, mentions of mental institutions, mentions of medication, Marc’s mum being a massive b****, a whole metric fuckton of angst, mentions of substance abuse, mention of mental illness, major hurt/comfort, pet names, due to the nature of this story: 18+! MDNI!

A/N: Is it 2:30am and I chugged nearly 6 cups of coffee while writing that? Yes. Have I, yet again, hurt my own feelings? Also yes. To the anon who requested this... I'm absolutely in love with the idea and as you can see I couldn't hold back pulling an almost all-nighter. On a side note: I blame all typos on the unholy amount of caffeine.

Please consider liking, reblogging and commenting! It means the world to me 🌸💞

Feel free to check out my Masterlist!

Tagging who might be interested:

@screechingsweets @luke-o-lophus @littlefreya

Far away,

Long ago,

Glowing dim as an ember,

Things my heart

Used to know

Things it yearns to remember

-Once Upon A December from the “Anastasia” Soundtrack 

‘Out of sight out of mind’ - You had heard that stupid saying so many times in your life by now and you never really got it. You couldn’t name one thing that had left your thoughts just because it was out of your imminent sight, although you wished for so many things to just disappear into thin air….especially memories of days long gone.

Memories of your parents screaming at you after they found a bloodied scalpel in your nightstand, a scalpel your mother was missing from her handicrafts supply. Memories of your parents going even harder at you after they had searched your entire body and found healing scars alongside fresh cuts coated with a delicate layer of slowly hardening scabs. After that incident a seemingly never ending avalanche of memories from bleak white rooms, doctors and nurses in loveless white coats and equally white, tiny, little paper cups followed. The only two things not entirely white in your memory from that time were the many pills they made you swallow and a pair of vibrant yellow socks embroidered with small, blue scarabs.

“Marc.” You whimpered in remembrance of your childhood best friend, the only person you’d ever trust again in this world. That much you’d sworn to yourself. 

It’s been at least ten years since you last saw him, looking out of your room at the psych ward, hammering and screaming against the thick glass window, as you watched his father picking him up. His mother was nowhere to be seen that afternoon, as rain-bearing clouds hung heavy in the sky, of course she wasn’t. Not a single day since then went by without you thinking about him…. about Steven and Jake too.

“Fuck.” Your voice, that was but a mere raspy whisper, echoed back from your bedroom walls.

He’d been able to leave this hellhouse of an institution one year before you could and in that time your best friend got ripped out of your sight completely. Laying in the dark room, with your trembling body wrapped around your pillow it came back to you so clearly as if it happened yesterday: You were dismissed from your white prison on a freezing December morning, thick snowflakes getting lost in your hair as the personnel threw you out in the open, with nowhere to go but back to your dysfunctional family. But that’s not where you went first, no. With your old duffle bag you took the next best bus into the city. The money you had safed up since weeks before your 18th birthday was roughly enough to buy a one-way ticket, but it took you where you so desperately needed to go. Marc’s parents' house. You were still able to hear the ringing of the doorbell in your ears, the painful memory of Marc’s mother opening the door, laughing in your face in cruel amusement.

“Well, look…if that isn’t Marcs’ psycho girlfriend, huh?” The woman had spat in your face, self-righteously swirling a glass of wine in her hand. To this day you regretted not slapping it right out of her grip.

“Tough luck, missy, he took off months ago to god knows where.” The smell of alcohol on her breath seeped through the icy air leaving you wanting to gag. 

With that she had slammed the door back shut in front of your nose, absolutely eradicating any hope of seeing Marc again. 

The pain from back then hadn’t faded just the slightest as it bit itself through your ribcage once again. In a helpless motion you curled yourself even tighter around your already tear-soaked pillow that really wasn’t giving any solace to you. For tonight you had already spilled all your tears so the only thing that left your sore throat were silent wails of misery until your burning lungs couldn’t take any more.

Your arms were still tightly wrapped around the damp fabric as you managed to toss yourself on your back, your weary, bloodshot eyes darting towards the ceiling of your tiny apartment. You thought you’d be free and safe in the walls of your own place, but everything that had happened still held you hostage within your own head. Tonight it was so bad that you craved something to shut all the thinking down for good. You needed a strong drink - or most likely at least four. 

The pure depression inhabiting every fiber of your body made it nearly impossible to get off of your bed, but you dragged your exhausted body towards your wardrobe anyway. An oversized hoodie and a pair of black pants would do, you thought to yourself, as you hid into the saggy piece of clothing. You didn’t even care how done and rough you were looking while you grabbed your wallet and keys from your nightstand and slipped into a pair of worn out chucks. Clearly not the ideal equipment for the snow-covered streets, but to hell with that. Yet again it was December and the outside world so cold as you felt on the inside. A good shot of whisky would break the ice lacing your heart, you chuckled to yourself with no trace of joy in your tone. 

The gummy soles of our trainers barely kept the moisture from soaking through to your socks as you strode towards the pub a few streets down. It was a weeknight so not exactly much pushing and shoving in front of the counter. It suited you just right because tonight you left your patience right at the door.

Before the bartender even had the chance to ask what you wanted, you threw him a stern glance and said: “Double whisky on the rocks.”

The man behind the counter grumpily mumbled something along the lines of ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ apparently being out of stock today, but tended to prepare your order nonetheless. 

Without even looking, he slammed the glass down in front of you, nearly spilling larger parts of it onto the wooden surface. As fast as he had served you the drink, the caramel-coloured liquid went straight down your throat, the alcohol burning its way down into your stomach. 

“Another one.” You huffed, the smoky taste spreading in your mouth.

“Sorry?” The bartender turned back to you, raising his eyebrows up into a certainly confused arch.

“I said, another one.” You reached into your back pocket, pulling out your wallet from which you drew a 50£ note and pressing it on the counter to sign him that you had the money and that the rest was none of his business.

“Got it…” The man responded, taking the bottle from the shelf again and pouring you another one.

You were tempted to flush it down one go again, but you knew that it wouldn't be the best of ideas if you still planned on getting back home walking upright. Nonetheless, you took a deep drag from the glass, this time allowing the taste to work its way deeper into your tastebuds. 

It took but a handful of minutes for the first effects to set in. Subconsciously your jaw stopped clenching and your shoulders slumped down a little, the weight of the world slowly gliding off of them. You started to feel somewhat close to okay, although ‘numb’ was your version of okay. The demons in the back of your head were still raging at full force, but now it was easier to shut them out, to ignore them until you’d wake up tomorrow, most likely sporting a massive hangover. None of that was any new to you. A paracetamol or two for breakfast would do the trick.

Your fingers were toying around the edge of the glass, circling it in an almost caressing manner, as a voice from behind uttered something that led your heart to stop for a split second.

“Pumpkin?”

You nearly knocked your drink right off the counter, turning your entire torso around with so much force that your spine creaked in agony.

“....M-Marc?...” The name fell from your lips with a weight that was ready to crash the wooden tiles underneath you.

“Pumpkin?!” The man with dark, messy hair not far from you repeated equally in shock.

“MARC!” You called out again, jumping from your stool and stumbling forwards.

With every step you took your knees felt weaker, progressively giving out under the flood of emotions that waved through you without a warning, until you crashed front first into a pair of wide open arms. Before you could even realize it, a violent stream of white-hot tears burst from your eyes, running down your cheeks and soaking the fabric of Marc's sweater underneath your chin. He held you, wrapped his arms around your shaking body so tight as if he wanted to press every broken part within you back together.

“Marc…” You wailed out, your sobs muffled by his shoulder.

Through your teary vision you barely took notice of the people around you staring at the both of you and, honestly, you couldn’t care less about what they were thinking or if you were about to get kicked out of the pub. In this very moment nothing mattered but the man pressing you so close to his chest that you felt his heart hammering right next to yours.

“I’m right here.”, The familiar and so dearly missed voice softly whispered to you “We’re all right here.”

A new load of tears was about to break its way, but you tried to hold it back as good as you could, tried to catch your breath. The need to see Marc’s face stronger than the impulse of rising tears.

About a thousand questions filled your head as you rubbed your face over his sweater, trying to wipe your stinging eyes before you carefully leaned back in his embrace. You almost didn’t dare to look at him because you feared that it was all just a dream, an illusion that would burst into nothingness as soon as you’d lay your eyes on his face…. but it didn’t. There he was, a pair of watery eyes beaming right back at you as if you were the most precious thing in the entire world.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Marc stated as if it was the most logical thing anyone had ever said.

You answered with a nod, no questions asked, not now, not here. 

Grabbing you by the hand, he strode forward, the both of you leaving your half empty glass and the 50 quit behind. You didn’t even think about that because no money would be worth turning around right now, taking the risk of losing Marc again just because you turned your back towards him for a split second. 

With your thoughts short-circuiting on every possible level you barely recognised leaving the pub, a breeze of frosty winter air hitting you from the side. All you knew was Marc holding your hand as he led you across the street, guided the way however many blocks down and eventually up a flight of stairs. A door fell into its lock and you were once more not far from simply collapsing if it wasn’t for Marc holding you like dear life depended on it.

“All this time….so close?” You croaked, your racing thoughts desperately trying to make any sense of what had happened in the past 30 minutes.

“That doesn’t matter anymore. Now I’m here… you’re here!” He murmured into your slightly damp hair as he carefully carried your nearly completely limp figure towards his bed, gently sitting you down on his mattress.

You couldn’t help yourself but to stare at him, watching his every move in case he might just disappear into thin air after all.

“Hey, pumpkin…”, His soft voice tried to break through to you “Let’s get you out of those wet shoes, hm?”

You nodded, hardly recognising the movement of your own head. With a soft, too-good-to-be-true smile Marc crouched down in front of you, his hands starting to untie your shoelaces. In a slow motion he pulled your wet feet free from the entirely soaked trainers before he did the same to the cold cotton socks clinging to your skin.

“Oh, love, you must be freezing!” The tone of his voice had changed entirely, his voice suddenly laced with a telltale London accent. 

“Steven?!” It burst out of your mouth in a mewl.

“Long time no see, love.”, He chirped softly, “Stay right there, I’ll grab some dry clothes for you, yeah?” 

If you weren’t too overwhelmed with literally everything you would’ve laughed at his words. Of course you’d stay right there. Where else would you want to go?!

Steven, his features now visibly softer and less tense than Marc’s, rose from the floor and turned towards a messy rack that served as a make-shift wardrobe. Sifting through unorganized stacks of shirts, shorts and a pile of socks, he threw pieces of cloth over his shoulder before coming back to you.

“Can’t let you sit here soaked and shivering like that.” Steven muttered more to himself than to you as he kneeled back onto the floor.

Without him having to ask, you peeled yourself out of the now rather soggy hoodie and equally sopping pants, thankfully accepting the dry and snug set of shorts and a white t-shirt. Throwing your wet clothes to the side, you nearly flinched as you felt Steven slipping a warm pair of socks over your feet. In a surprised motion your eyes shot back to his hands and your already critically overstimulated heart threatened to burst right out of your chest as you saw which pair of socks he’d chosen: Bright yellow, dotted with tiny blue scarabs.

“You-... you still have them?” Your tired eyes widened subconsciously.

“Of course! They are your favourite!” Steven replied, taking a seat next to you on the soft mattress.

“Yes…. they are…” You confirmed, your hands reaching out to him, needing to feel him close to you. 

Without hesitating for just a second, he scooted closer to you, leaning into your embrace.

“I missed you so much!” You wrapped your trembling hands around his torso as tight as you could, deeply inhaling his smell that felt like home to you more than anything else ever had ever done.

“I missed you too, love.”, He raised his hands up to your head, gently brushing over your hair while peppering loving kisses all over your forehead, “We all missed you so terribly much and this time we won’t go anywhere….at least not without you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise!” 

#steven grant x you #steven grant x reader #steven grant x y/n #marc spector x you #marc spector x reader #marc spector x y/n #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #mcu moon knight #marvel moon knight #moon knight #marvel fanfiction #moon knight fanfiction

[dryemiddi]

I know you've probably gotten this a couple times. But as you're probably aware, the original creator of Vantablack was diagnosed with DID, where Vanta was present as a fictive alter. Vanta, alongside other alters, were the ones grooming and sexually abusing minors and adults alike. I won't say the host, or the original creator you knew, was innocent, but most of the problems arose from his alters.

Being that Vanta was a major abuser, and possibly a lot of his victims are becoming aware of this revival of project, is it possible that you could make and design your OWN Ink/Nightmare fusion, to spare them from triggering content? It would be in theirs, and your, best interests to consider doing so. Don't subject people to a sore reminder of their traumas. You've already removed most of the other characters created by the original creator, so why not the one who was centred in the drama surrounding the grooming and abuse thanks to a fictive of him? Please. As a friend to a few who were victims, I just want to ask if you hear me.

I do hear you. And I recognize the victims that we're affected by J's actions. But I also recognize the grey complexity of this current situation, at least in how it pertains to myself and my decisions here. I see Vanta (the character) and Vanta (the fictive) as very separate in nature; one of them is a real person who is responsible for their own actions. I've never properly met the fictive and I know very little about him besides the news of what he did (and honestly I'm very grateful for that). Perhaps the closest I've ever gotten to interacting with him was when J had a hostile meltdown in front of me after announcing my pull of my work from the old project (I was later told that it was Vanta who had that meltdown, but I'm unable to confirm it). I was never groomed. But that does not mean that I don't hold a large share of trauma that stemmed from my interactions with J. My memory of my time with him is foggy, perhaps repressed, but it's clear to me that he's left a sizeable negative imprint on my psyche-- if my innate fear towards him (even before hearing the news of what happened) is anything to go off of.

I do know that, at least for a while, I considered him to be my only friend. And knowing what I know now -and the fact that I am the same age as one of the victims- that scares me in ways I cannot even begin to describe. Does that make me a victim in some sense? I'm unsure. There is no simple or straight answer here, as there is with a lot of what I am and will be talking about. I don't want to force a simple conclusion out of all of this. I don't want to make this situation black and white: because it simply isn't. That would ultimately be a disservice to me fully processing the events that did occur. (Ironically enough, J wasn't the one out of the admins to leave me with the most trauma, but that's its own complicated story that I will save for another day.) Now Vanta, as a character, I still hold dear to my heart. I was responsible for designing him (both his initial and updated designs), as well as co-writing and coming up with major parts of his character. I see Vanta no different to any character I created entirely on my own, seeing as I was the second largest contributor to his character. It sort of just made sense to me to take him under my wing after what happened. For better or for worse, I can't bring myself to replace him. Perhaps I'm just stubborn or too sentimental for my own good. I love Vanta, in spite of everything J has done. And I want to give people the chance to enjoy Vanta without all that horrific baggage-- and that includes myself. I am willing to make an accommodation or two, however. As a compromise, I am willing to give Vanta a redesign (no drastic changes, unfortunately) as to further dissociate him with his past iterations. I also will aim to give my own spin to Vanta's personality to some extent. It isn't much, but it is something I am willing to do if it helps. If people are still uncomfortable with Vanta (especially victims), I certainly don't blame them. That being said, it is their job to curate their online experience to best suit their individual needs, whether that's ignoring posts, blocking tags, or even unfollowing me entirely. I'll respect that decision, as I ask that they respect my decision in turn, whether they agree with it or not. . I am thankful that you were able to approach me about this in a respectful manner. I applaud you for that. It's nice to be able to have a civil discussion about tricky topics such as this, as many are quick to be reactionary towards things they don't agree with. If you have more to say/ask and would like to, anon, my DMs are open.

#ask #anon #anonymous #AccidentVerse #Vantablack #glad to have that off my chest haha #sorry for how long the response is #I never left AV because I wanted to #it was more for my own safety really #But I never stopped loving the characters #in spite of it all #AV holds a special little place in my heart and I hope I can tell a fun story or two for everybody #tw: grooming mention #oh also I'm no longer using Admixverse as a name for it haha #well I only tagged it such so people so people that only knew the mv as axv would be aware #but i never was involved with axv #so that was my bad