#and never really learned a lot of social things

[comradekatara]

nothing too insightful to say just !!! toph is the disabled character of all time and it means so much to me, personally. thinking specifically about what you mentioned on the last post about how she learns to let herself be loved; it is often such a fundamental aspect of growing up with a disability that “love” is the guise that adults stripping you of agency wear.

it’s not just being helped in a way that harms and deemed incompetent. it’s being perceived as incompetent, receiving help for your disability that strips you of autonomy, being vulnerable to the abuse and unable to speak for yourself in response to it because you are too frail, helpless, all under the premise of “love.” when disabled love becomes the equivalent of burdening another and being taken from yourself, toph is kind of incredible because it took me nearly twenty years to even begin to unlearn all of that, but she managed to open herself up to others within a few months (to varying degrees, it’s also interesting she seems to trust sokka the quickest, maybe i will send another ask after breakfast rambling about that).

but toph’s ability to adjust her concept of what love is and open herself to it, is genuinely one of the most powerful disability arcs i have ever seen. she becomes able to accept help and not have that feel like embodying weakness, which feels dangerous when disabled because your perceived social weakness is why you have been stripped of all agency and dehumanized, esp. as a disabled child. toph is incredibly strong in regards to earth bending, but truthfully it is this ability to listen, observe and adapt that is her greatest strength. her character is soooo good and her arc is so fucking beautiful

YES 💗 i don’t talk about toph’s disability enough because i don’t like getting too personal on here but you really do articulate that struggle perfectly and i agree so much with what you said.

toph’s foundational trauma is tied not to her experience being blind, but rather the abuse she received due to her blindness. the struggle of being disabled is always twofold: firstly, and i hate when people sugarcoat or ignore this, having a physical disability does make life more difficult. we see toph struggle when she’s not in a position to use her earthbending as a mobility aid; there are aspects of life that are difficult or genuinely impossible for her to participate in due to her limitations. she can and does often compensate by being a brilliant earthbender, but there are still some things she simply cannot do.

but what’s more important to toph’s experience with disability is the way she is treated by those around her, especially her parents. toph simultaneously struggles with being coddled and smothered due to her unique needs, denied agency due to the assumption that she is somehow less able to dictate her own choices, and treated like a shameful burden due to her disability. so by the time toph joins the gaang, she is very afraid of being seen as a burden, but she also doesn’t want anyone helping her with anything or telling her what to do, because she associates that with her parents’ abuse.

she bristles when katara tries to get her to help out, because she wants to be the kind of person who respects everyone else’s space and lets everyone be capable of “carrying their own weight,” just as she wants to be allowed to be left to her own devices. she doesn’t yet understand that a community or support network is not the same thing as a denial of agency, and so she assumes that katara is overbearing and motherly instead of a kid who comes from a place where everyone does an equal share of labor and expects everyone else to do the same.

that’s why i think a lot of people who have never experienced any kind of major disability firsthand don’t really understand toph, and just assume she’s spoiled and brash due to being rich and entitled. but that’s not the case at all. she’s spent her whole life being treated like a fragile doll instead of a person, and it’s dehumanizing and isolating. she doesn’t understand the value of a community because she’s sick of people trying to help her, and due to her own experiences being “helped,” assumes that help is necessarily negative and a denial of one’s agency.

the last thing she wants in that situation is to be overbearing, to be the one telling other people what to do and how to live their lives (yet another reason why she would never become a cop). of course, she signed on to be aang’s teacher, so pretty quickly she does have to get over herself and actually instruct, and she’s not a gentle pedagogue either. but she also knows that she is supremely qualified to teach earthbending, and so it’s easier for her to tell others what to do when she knows that her wisdom counts for something and she isn’t just imposing her will onto someone else for the hell of it, or because she doesn’t respect them.

she also definitely takes iroh’s advice to heart, because unlike a certain incorrigible nephew, she’s really wise and emotionally mature, able to respond to measured advice and actually internalize what iroh is saying. so it doesn’t take long for her to develop a bond with sokka where she doesn’t feel afraid to rely on him. and it’s funny, because she accuses katara of being overbearing and motherly, but she does actually listen to sokka and follow his every command, despite her supposed disdain for authority. and i think it’s the fact that even though sokka does sometimes forget that she’s blind, he’s never purposely insensitive, and he never bosses her around for the hell of it.

unlike katara, who is genuinely unkind to toph in “the chase,” sokka never disrespects toph, and he certainly never disrespects her disability. he’ll banter with her about it, like when he says “well you’ve never not seen anything like this” in “sokka’s master,” but the joke isn’t at her expense, unlike “the stars sure are beautiful tonight,” which is straight up cruel and lowkey unforgivable (sidenote: as someone who has been bullied for being disabled, i do think that this is hands down the worst thing katara ever says in the show, and i understand why toph would continue to hold a grudge against her for that for a long time). whereas sokka always treats toph like a person, and toph recognizes that, so she thus not only accepts his help, but actively asks for it and enjoys receiving it.

toph does grow and accept her own vulnerability remarkably fast, but to the gaang’s credit, they are great friends, and they all treat her like a person instead of a burden or a doll (including katara). having people who love you and understand you, both in terms of your strengths and your limitations, is really necessary, for anyone, but especially for disabled people. i’m really lucky to have people in my life who love me like that, and toph’s arc is so beautiful specifically because she is given that love and care and never takes it for granted. i definitely think that toph is one of the greatest disabled characters of all time, and it’s because her disability isn’t simply incidental to her character, but rather the central pillar of her arc that informs all her motivations at all times. she learns to ask for help, and accept help when it’s offered. she finds a community.

#amorphousea #asks #toph #analysis #katara&toph #sokka&toph #she means so much to me….. #and please do send that follow up ask about sokka because their dynamic is so important #honestly it’s probably what got me to like sokka in the first place #crazy i know . but his friendship w toph is just so perfect #& it rly made me appreciate him more as a kid

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

Mjolnir Syndrome: A Helping Hand

My half of an art trade with @fablepatron - find the whole thing here on ao3.

The first chapter is too explicit, but here's the second chapter Roland POV.

-

Another night watching his crew recover. Another night of patrolling the circuits of the ship, checking and rechecking, herding dumb AI back into their functions, herding dumb humans back to their responsibilities like sleeping. Most of Roland is divided into the monotonous tasks required to run a starship of this size and to care for a crew of this many talents. However, there was a negligibly sized portion of his focus on the single operating War Games sim and one Spartan Miller.

He didn’t play favorites. (Statement: untrue.) He had a handful, maybe. (Also untrue.) But that came with the territory of being a shipboard AI. Lots of handshakes and handholding. It made sense to keep an eye on a specific few in Command. Really. Just as a way to get a read on the rest of the crew and understand the social systems in place. That was the real reason Roland was watching Miller beat himself up in the wee hours of the morning, and why his subroutines flagged more processing power to monitor the Spartan as his vitals peaked.

There’s a spark of brain activity and a rapid release of cortisol in Miller’s system. His temperature raises even further and Roland considers getting help. Nothing had changed other than the slowly ramping feedback of the Mjolnir systems. The closed system was prone to feedback loops when worn for longer periods of time without a release of charge or not maintaining proper levels with an AI syncing the NI and the various layers of the armor.

Miller hadn’t wanted his help so he was keeping his distance. Mostly.

It was strange to see the usually quick-thinking Spartan brute force his way through what was bound to be unpleasant and quite distracting sensations. Unless… he wasn’t expecting it. Did Miller not know about Mjolnir Syndrome? A fun nickname given by more season Spartans and crew in the know of the…symptoms. Is that why the sudden spike in vitals?

His favorite Spartan was easy to fluster. He’d need help soon, Roland could tell. The constant influx of sensation only built and then plateaued as Miller froze. He’d never reach overload by himself, especially if he just became aware of why h-everything was so hard.

Luckily, and with no outside input from Roland, help was on the way.

The Master Chief had noticed Miller, not for the times Miller wants to space himself over, but because like Roland, Chief found Miller interesting. Maybe it was akin to studying something and finding yourself attached, like those scientists over in xenobiology who named the new flatworms they found on Requiem. Miller was Roland’s flatworm, and he was willing to share, if it meant helping the poor Spartan out.

Chief observes Miller with a tilt of his helmet. Roland was still learning the IIs body language but he thought he was picking up amusement. The specific head tilt and slight shake of the helmet for outsider observers was one he had seen Chief use with Blue Team. But they weren’t here, it was just him and Miller and R-.

Oh. Chief was including him again. It was so strange when humans did that. Only a handful seemed to remember his presence, unless he made them. Always running in the background, ready at a moment’s notice. Well, this was interesting.

“Hello, Master Chief, fancy meeting you here.” Roland says after his ping for channel access is accepted.

“Hello, Roland. I’m assuming he’s not hurt?”

“Do you think I’d let my crew get hurt and simply let them lay there.”

“No, but I wasn’t sure if I was intruding on anything.”

That gets a pause from the AI. He’s still debating on which snarky or too-honest reply to go with when Chief checks on Miller.

"I believe Spartan Miller is experiencing some technical issues with his armor." Roland supplies. He’s helping whatever this is along. Chief’s got him thinking now, which is always a dangerous thing when you’re as fast and clever as Roland. He’d been a passive party for so long. An observer or helper, and it’s not like Miller was chomping at the bit for Roland’s help, even when his plans had been so helpful in the past.

“He’s lying to you. Not that you didn’t pick that up. He’s been active for over 24 hours. He won’t let me help.” Chief doesn’t need to know how honest Roland’s words were, or that Roland’s been watching Miller push himself for 36.3 hours now.

“Have you tried asking nicely?” Chief asks and Roland wishes he had a plinth nearby to deploy his avatar on for the sole purpose of squinting at the Master Chief. He stays silent.

Chief asks and Miller says yes.

Roland wasn’t jealous. No, he was something else. Some higher AI experience rather than some silly, illogical, human emotion. Miller would let Master Chief touch his armor and help him, but not Roland who’s always there and who knows the specs forwards and back and is so familiar with piggybacking off Gen 2 Mjolnir systems.

Miller’s fine being all sweaty and nervous and frustrated around Chief. Chief who is so frustrating and calm and never rises to Roland’s bait. Chief who’s asking for Roland’s help overriding the safety features on Miller’s armor?

The great thing about being a vast machine intelligence with unfortunate connections to human emotions is the ability to experience time differently and to save threads of oneself being petty to feel petty later. He’d put this behind him for now to help them out - help Miller out.

What’s a little power reallocation between friends?

#my writing #Spartan Miller #Roland the AI #John 117 #there will be a quiz on the layers of mjolnir later for those following along at home #halo fanfic

[lostinvasileios]

Hii I wanted to ask you about Apollo because lately I have felt some sort of connection but I haven't seen the obvious signs. I got into paganism for this feeling I have and it has felt right but I'm still not sure, it would be nice to know if he is reaching out or wants to work with me. I would also love some advice because I'm a complete beginner. Thank you for your time and have a great day ☀️

Hello, lovebee! Thank you for asking! 🤍🪻

So, firstly, you don't need any blatant, big, grand, sparkly lit up sign(s) from a deity to attempt to get close with them, if that makes sense. It's super, super important to realize that your feelings/instincts will tell you a lot when it comes to your deity work. I want you to know is that if it feels right, if it feels safe - (and, sometimes, it won't feel safe. And that's almost always because, as humans, we tend to fear the unknown a lot. And stepping into new deities, into a spiritual path, ect, is unknown regardless of how much studying or whatever you've done beforehand. But! Fear and excitement can feel the exact same. One thing that you're gonna do a lot is take that leap of fear, and come out on the other side feeling that thrill of relief of not letting it consume you.) - and if it gives you those happy feelings in all of the various forms that they can come in, it's almost a definite truth for your path. Does that make sense?

When it comes to deities, I often overlooked the connection I had with them when I was first starting out because I thought, well, it was "just a feeling", but, I've come to learn that a huge part of deity work IS feeling!

The only reason I started to work with Apollon at first was because I felt some sort of - draw to him. He, along with a lot of (if not all of them) deities often will send an emotion, a constant-like thought of them or things connected to them, ect as a way to tell you how they want your company/to work with you.

For example, even before I started working with deities myself but was aware of their existences, I had this persistent (and I mean persistent) thought of Asmodeus. His name repeating in my head, feeling some form of butterflies at the thought of him, ect. But it took me months into my journey to begin to even question if he'd like to be around me in any capacity. And, funnily enough, it turns out he's one of my soul spouses.

(Of course, not every deity you feel drawn to is spoused to your soul, just to clarify!)

Apollon is a very, very social deity. He loves getting new devotees, he loves helping people, ect. Actually, he helped me through the first year or so of my journey.

Now, the relationship I have with him won't be like yours, since, if you weren't aware: everyone's interactions with deities will be different based off of countless things, but one of the major (if not the major) key points being because of the different souls. So, take this next part with a grain of salt.

From my experience with him, he's a very tender god. He's a very loving, considerate, patient, and - lords, I could mush about him endlessly. He's the type of lord that will kiss away your tears and ease your worries. You can be as repetitive as you like with your fears and doubts, and he'll be right there with you through it all to reassure you of any and everything.

But, of course, he also does have his more - firmer sides to him. He is a god of rage, amongst all his other things. Now, he's never yelled at me, punished me, ect. But, he has made his... Stance? On certain things very clear to me. When we first started working together, I had very... Bad habits. I was not nice to myself, emotionally, mentally, or physically. At all, really.

I was very harmful to myself. And lived in a very toxic environment. And, yes, Apollon being the sweetheart he is, accompanied me and wrapped bandages around my wounds, but, at the same time, he'd give me those stern (yet loving) talks about how I shouldn't inflict them on myself, how I shouldn't worsen the pain I was already going through by allowing myself to use the same weapons my parents, friends, ect would use on me, on myself.

To work with him, or any deities in my opinion, you have to be open to... Well... Change. And, that was drastically hard for me at first. But, the thing is, Apollon is a god of light and truth, as well. And some things that come with that are the light he'll shine on things you've pushed to the shadows, and the pain that'll come with having to face the truths of your reality.

Don't worry too much, however. That most likely won't happen until sometime into your journey with him. And, it'll be in your best interest whenever it does happen. Healing hurts, and he also rules in healing. He will re-open some of your deepest scars, but he does it to properly treat them and stitch them up himself. Not just the self-taught, shaky way that they were closed up before. If that makes sense, haha.

Also! Don't be afraid to get close with him when/if you two start working together. I've found out that he particularly enjoys being able to participate in some cliche's. Like having nick/petnames for one another, allowing him to listen to your ranting or vents, telling him small things about yourself (favorite colors, plants, ect), and so on.

A lot of the time, I see people who want so badly to get close with their deities, but are too afraid or unsure how to. All in all, it does depend on your form of love and what you're comfortable with. What you're able to do. But, it can be as simple as eating something in devotion for them. Thinking of them. Making them a small, or big, playlist. A pinterest board, ect ect. You can trust yourself to find ways to help feel closer to your deities, you can trust yourself.

And, no, you don't need a job to worship or get close to a god either.

(It's also very important to establish your boundaries, not that deities intentionally try to make you uncomfortable/to trigger you! It's just, you want to have some ground basics put down first, then maybe you'll learn some more along the way... Basically - communication. Very important, lol.)

Sorry I yapped as much as I did here, I hope it helped clear some things up for you, honey! May Apollon give you his loving rays.

#to: apollon #witchcraft #witch advice #deities #deity work #deity witch #mother witch advice #apollo deity #apollo #apollon #deity advice #witchblr #beginner witch #witch #beginner witch tips #witchcraft community #baby witch

[polyamorousmood]

How do you deal with insecurity in a polyam relationship?

I've been in a poly V before, with my girlfriend at the time, and her other partner; but I honestly wasn't really invested in the relationship so I wasn't bothered.

I feel like,, if I have a partner and we either a) accept another and form a triad or b) I end up with a metamour again, I would end up worrying that my parner(s) would leave me to simply be together.

(For context, I have AvPD so like... abandonment is a complex of mine and I'm working on it but I'm still so insecure a lot of the time.)

So.. yeah. I've seen you address jealousy/envy, and I know I'd probably deal with a bit of that (in the sense that 'oh, b gets to spend time with c while I'm at work, I'm envious' kind of way) but I know that insecurity would be the thing that would bother me the most

Polysecure by Jessica Fern is generally considered a holy text 🛐of polyamory and this exact question in particular. I haven't read it personally (yet. Its on my list my list is just long 😅) So if you haven't given that a go yet, everyone I know who has read it, has recommended at least sections of it. I know it talks about attachment styles and how to handle those, which might be helpful if you have avoidant personality disorder.

The other thing, of course, is consider bringing this up with a therapist, because I am not one. And this seems like a touchy enough topic that everything I say here is pulled from my experience and should be taken as "ideas to think about🤔" and not "clinical advise that will Fix It🪄" As per usual, LOTS to go over here. So. read more.

P.S. after typing up everything, I realized this post I wrote to help a supportive partner address insecurity might also be helpful for you, and even has a worksheet! Its probably better formatted too. So.. maybe I wasted my typing here 😓. C'est la vie.

Firstly, you never said you identify as polyamorous. So if you're not... you could just date monogamously 🤷 as much as I love 💟polyamory and would like it if the whole world loved it too, if that's gonna be too big a thing for you, there's no reason you have to bother at all.

If you are going to date polyamorously for whatever reason, BEFORE you introduce another person to the mix, have a regular, set time you and your partner spend apart. It sounds counter-intuitive, but maintaining your own social life and identity outside your partner is huge. Do this especially when you're super invested and want to spend every second with your partner. That's honestly true whether you're poly or not, but in this specific case. I think a lot of the fear is bolstered by the idea that without you there, your partner is just spending that time loving the other person. And maybe they'd like to do that more blah blah blah. But this proves that's not the case: when you're not there, you partner is getting drinks with the girls, or building model ships, or any other numerous things they like independent of you. And it also means you're not just pining over your partner when you're gone, you have other shit to do too. And you'll come to look forward to your two hours a week at the coffee shop (or whatever). You will learn reasonable time apart does not equal less romantic interest.

And then, on the flip side of that, set regular protected time with your partner. Not to say never ever will something come up that interrupts that. Emergencies arise🚨, or the time may have to be renegotiated later, etc etc. But having the confidence that no matter what, you'll have a movie date every week, or that Tuesday night is Romance Night, or whatever you decide on, can make it easier. It can help prevent you feeling taken for granted, and can naturally curb NRE with other people if that starts getting unruly. If your partner starts wanting to cut into this time for not-important-shit, tell them you're not okay with that, or -- and only if truly it feels okay to you -- at least get them to make the time up the next day. And you, of course, need to treat it as special too. Make the time important, fulfilling, and intimate. It can be any activity, as long as its bonding time -- quality time, in the truest sense of the word.

Take time to get to know yourself, and share it with your partner. What do you consider to be sacred between you and your partner? Are you okay with your meta and your partner having sacred things -- what type of things? Do you feel better knowing the details of your partner's other relationships, or will that make you more jealous? (I like knowing more, because the thought of my partner having this secret life without me makes me more insecure, but other people are very reasonably of the opinion that hearing that their partner had so much fun without them is a bummer.) How much about you are you okay with your partner dilvulging to your meta(s)? Go through this on as many things as you can think of. Now, what you're comfortable with is not the only factor here; you and your partner will probably both have to make some concessions to reach something workable, but I've found that process, with a good partner, to be more securing in and of itself. You both are working together towards a common understanding. Its generally good practice to avoid hard-and-fast rules here, when possible. For example, "I'm only okay with you dating others if you're home by 11🕚 every night" makes some sense, but if taken literally means if your partner gets a flat on the way home, or has to deal with your meta's mental breakdown, or even just wants to see a movie that won't finish until 11:05 -- that's a betrayal. Perhaps even just asking for a one-time allowance is a betrayal. Instead, work for understandings or guidelines. Maybe the similar understanding in this example is "its hard for me to sleep alone, so I'd like you to generally be home by 11:00, and notify me as soon as possible if that's not going to happen" and then when they bring up wanting to stay out late one night for something, you can ask if its possible for them to do it on a night you don't have to work in the morning (maybe they can, maybe they can't, the point here is that its a dialogue, see below). There will be some trial and error here, so be prepared for that and stick it out.

Don't take every problem as a sign things are doomed, or your partner is divesting, or your partner isn't worth your investment. There will be times when someone is actually abusive, or there will be irreconcilable differences. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about "My partner is late for the second time this week, they're pulling away from me, this is the beginning of the end"-type shit. No it ain't. A good exercise for this is to explicitly outline your worst-case scenario💣, followed by a best case-scenario🌈, and then a few most likely cases⬜. So from our example above, worst case is that they're pulling away (so you have to pull away faster so you "win" and avoid pain), best case-scenario is that they're late because they're buying you a gift on their way home, and most likely scenario is that traffic's worse than they planned or they ran into someone at the gas station and stopped to talk for a bit or whatever.

Figure out how to self-soothe. Make a stache of nice things your partner has done for you that you can check on your own to remind yourself you're important to them. Reframe some of your jealous worries. Remind yourself of things you're looking forward to with your partner. Make a vent journal. Whatever clicks to you.

And as always, 🗣️talk to your partner. Productively talk to your partner.🗣️ Talk to your partner as much as possible about how things make you feel, and make sure they're doing the same. I talk more about how to talk through problems here, and its worth the read imho (even though its equally long). But for now, know that forming this habit on its own is functionally indistinguishable from being securely attached. As long as the communication is you and your partner vs the problem (and not, for example, your insecurity vs your partner's willingness to compromise), this will be good for the relationship, and you will feel better for doing it. But to form that habit, you have to do it with everything, not just Big Problems. You have to tell your partner sincerely how much you appreciate stuff they're getting right, you have to tell them about small problems that you can handle on your own, you have to tell them about things you're not sure how you feel about yet.

#jealousy #insecurity #poly relationship advice #ask box is always open

[raaorqtpbpdy]

A Little Chat

Jazz gets the chance to talk to the ghost boy before she knows he's her brother. When she talks to him after discovering the truth, their first conversation is still ringing in her mind.

For the prompts: What if Jazz had a conversation with Phantom before learning he was Danny? What does their next conversation look like when Jazz knows but Danny doesn't know she knows? [from atropos], and "What do you mean this isn't safe, I'm already dead" [from @princessfanonanona]

Read also on AO3

[Warnings for mentions of violence and death]

Casper High was all abuzz about the upcoming school dance, but Jazz couldn't care less. Dancing had never been her thing, much less at school where all her peers could watch her embarrass herself. That didn't stop her from getting asked, by Dash Baxter when she was tutoring him, by her lab partner in the middle of chemistry class (gag), by Danny's friend Tucker, who was asking out every girl in school and getting turned down every time.

Jazz was honestly more preoccupied by her ongoing existential crisis about ghosts being real, and her annoyance at how insufferable her parents had been since the revelation. She was nothing if not curious and determined, though.

Her parents said a lot of things about ghosts with very little research or evidence to back their claims, but Jazz wasn't going to just hop on the bandwagon and believe everything they said. If she could, she was going to get a first-hand source on this ghost situation.

Unfortunately, not intending to go to the dance didn't exempt her from the teen-girl bonding nightmare that was helping her friends shop for their dresses. She knew she was only a part of their little group because she tutored them, and she had very little in common with any of them. But she also knew that it was good and healthy for her to socialize with people her own age, and even if she couldn't really relate to them, at least they were nice, and always tried to include her.

That didn't stop them from gently ribbing her about how unhelpful she was being when she said they looked fantastic in every dress they tried on.

Shopping got a lot more exciting, however, when a dragon showed up. Jazz went to check it out, claiming she had to go to the bathroom so the girls wouldn't try to stop her. They were too busy changing to notice the commotion outside the store.

Jazz ran to the second floor railing to get a good look at the ghost boy fighting some glowing blue dragon with a huge amulet around its neck. Jazz watched and waited for the immediate Danger to be over before calling out to him.

"Hey!" she shouted. "Ghost boy!"

The ghost swiveled around in mid-air until he saw her. She waved him over. He shook his head and gestured over his shoulder like he needed to be somewhere.

"Come on, I'll be quick!" she shouted, waving him over more insistently.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, the ghost boy floated over to her.

"Can I help you, citizen?" he asked awkwardly

"Actually, yeah," she said. "I'm Jazz Fenton, you probably know of my parents. They have some very uh... opinionated views about ghosts, and I'm looking to learn more about ghosts from a first hand source. Could I trouble you for a moment of your time?"

"I uh... I don't know how much help I'd be," the boy replied. "To be honest, I'm kind of new to the whole 'being a ghost' thing."

"That's alright," she insisted. "If you don't mind, I still think I could learn a lot from talking to you."

"Uh... alright," he agreed, and settled himself cross-legged in the air just on the other side of the second-floor railing Jazz was still standing at.

This area of the mall had pretty much been cleared out when the dragon showed up, so the two of them were alone, even in the middle of a public place.

"Shoot," he said.

"Okay." Jazz considered for a moment what her first question should be before asking, "Do ghosts have obsessions that motivate all their actions, yea or nay?"

He hummed thoughtfully. "Sort of? Maybe? I don't really know. From what I've been able to get, it seems like ghosts have more of a tendency to be obsessive than humans do, but even ghosts with obsessions aren't motivated one hundred percent solely by those obsessions."

"So would you say that ghosts have free will?" Jazz asked.

"Yes, absolutely we do." There was no hesitation in that answer, no hint of doubt.

"I think I can guess the answer, but do you think ghosts are inherently evil?"

To her surprise, the ghost boy paused before answering, titling his head from side to side like he wasn't really sure what to say.

"Well... I'm not," he answered cautiously. "I haven't met too many friendly ghosts so far, but we're definitely not inherently evil."

"Why do you fight other ghosts?" Jazz asked. "Not that I'm not grateful, but... ever since you showed up, I've been curious about that."

"Why?" he repeated. 

He looked perplexed, although Jazz couldn't tell if it was because he didn't know the answer, or because he didn't know why she was even asking because it seemed so obvious to him.

"Well who else is gonna do it?" he asked. That answer did nothing to clear up Jazz's uncertainty. "I can't very well let them just cause chaos around here. They could seriously hurt people."

"What about you?" Jazz asked.

"What about me?"

"I just mean, couldn't they hurt you, too?" she asked. "I saw how you got tossed around by that dragon, and the lunch lady a little while ago. This whole situation, you fighting off ghosts ten times your size to protect humans you barely know... this just doesn't seem safe."

The ghost boy huffed a soft laugh. "What do you mean this isn't safe?" he asked. "I'm already dead, what else can they do to me?"

Jazz frowned, her brows furrowing.

"You still bleed," she said. "I've seen it. You bleed green, but you still bleed."

"So what, I bleed," the ghost boy shrugged, though his expression took on a melancholy tone. "So do you. You're telling me if you saw someone in danger, even if you didn't know them, you wouldn't try to help?"

Jazz didn't really know. Her self-preservation was strong, but so was her compassion. She would have to make that decision in the moment, not standing in a mall across from a boy her brother's age... who had died. 

Her brother had almost died, too, once, not that long ago. If she had been there... if she'd had the chance to save him from the pain of that accident at the cost of her own safety, would she have?

"Do you help others because no one helped you when you were dying?" she asked. 

Even as it left her mouth she could hear how rude and personal the question sounded, but it was out there now... and she wanted to know.

The ghost boy shook his head. "No one could have helped me," he said. "Even if they were there, even if they wanted to. There was no saving me. It would have just ended with two ghosts instead of one." 

She opened her mouth to ask a follow up question, but was interrupted when one of her friends appeared.

"Jazz! There you are!" Marci called out. "Oh my gosh, if you needed a break from dress-shopping, you could have just said so. You didn't have to disappear on a bathroom break for twenty minutes."

"Yeah, we were actually starting to get worried about you," Jenna added. "We heard there was some kinda ghost dragon somewhere in the mall a little bit ago. We thought you might've gotten hurt."

"I'm fine, I promise," Jazz told them. "I actually left to get a closer look, but I made sure to stay a safe distance away. I've just been talking to—" Jazz cut herself off when she turned and saw that the ghost boy was gone.

"Talking to who?" Marci asked, looking at the empty air.

"To whom," Jazz corrected absently. She shook her head. "Never mind. Did you girls pick out dresses you liked?"

"Marci did," Jenna said. "So far, I haven't found anything that speaks to me, ya know? I think I've decided on the color though, I want a pretty sunset orange, like a pink-ish, dark-ish color, maybe with glitter, you know?"

"That's a bold choice," Jazz commented. She didn't know much about fashion, but she did know she didn't see a lot of people walking around in orange most of the time.

"I'm a bold girl," Jenna agreed with a laugh. "I found one orange dress, but the shape made me look like a traffic cone, it was awful!"

Jazz snickered at that mental image and Jenna and Marci laughed with her.

"Come on, there's a couple more stores we can check out to see if they have something you like," Marci suggested. "And obviously we gotta stop at the bookstore, too. We can't leave our main girl Jazz without her lit fix."

Jazz laughed again and followed them toward the next store.

—

Ever since Jazz found out the ghost boy was her brother, she couldn't stop thinking about it. She'd decided immediately to wait until he was ready to tell her before bringing it up, but that didn't stop it from being on her mind all the time. She wanted to protect him but there weren't a lot of ways she could do that.

She nearly freaked out on him when they started doing ghost drills at school, and couldn't exactly explain why without taking away his chance to tell her his secret on his own. Luckily, she managed to change the subject and get away without giving herself away, but it was a close call.

She didn't expect to ever get the chance to talk to Danny as the ghost boy again before he told her it was him, because frankly, he did his best to avoid humans as much as possible in his ghost form, most of all his family.

A lot happened. Danny had a million dollar bounty on his head, everyone at school got sick with ghost flu, then a bunch of teenagers had to save all the adults in town (and, embarrassingly, Jazz) when they got kidnapped by ghosts using hypnotic music.

Then the town was sucked into the Ghost Zone, and the only thing protecting them all from a tyrannical ghost king was Fenton Works' ghost shield. And Danny planned to go fight the king himself. He hadn't said it yet, but she could tell by the grim look on his face when he went outside. Jazz followed subtly, but the time she got outside he was already in ghost form, staring up at the green sky.

"Hey, ghost boy, long time, no see," she said.

"Uh... what?" he said. "I don't... oh... right, yeah. Guess it has... been a while."

"You're gonna try to fight the ghost king, aren't you?" she guessed. "Please don't. Amity Park needs you, and if you go fight him... he could destroy you. I know you think you're invincible but this isn't safe."

Danny huffed out a bitter chuckle. "What do you mean its not safe? I'm already dead," he responded, just the same way as he had the last time she told him that.

But this time she knew it wasn't true, not completely.

She remembered the last time she spoke to him as the ghost boy, how he told her that no one could have saved him when he died. She remembered hearing him screaming in the basement from all the way up on the second floor and wondered if it was true. Sam and Tucker had been with him, and she knew they would have helped if they could have.

"You're right about one thing, though," he said after a moment. "Amity Park needs me. I can't flake out on them now."

With that, he flew off to god knew where, to fight the ghost king, or his skeleton army, or the Fright Knight. She just hoped he'd be okay. He was her baby brother, and she didn't think she could handle losing him for good.

He didn't deserve any of this.

#danny phantom #dp #danny fenton #jazz fenton #fic #things i wrote #phic phight 24 #phic phight

[ox1-lovesick]

hi

#life update nobody asked for lol #I missed you guys my pookie wookie dookies #I deleted all my social media and life is so great wow #still a lot of mental health problems but I'm finally learning to deal with my emotions and not hate life (wow) #is it bad for me to say I'm so glad I left blr #I will probably never come back here lol but I think (?) today is txt's debut anniversary and since I am the self proclaimed empress of moa #downgrading to a flip phone actually #I unstanned txt and all the kpop peoples too (SHOCKER) #I do feel really nostalgic and sad when I think about them but I think it was the thing I needed most #delulu is infact not the solulu #daydreaming about beomgyu being the new student at my school and being soobin's bestie was never the greatest idea hey #it's so freeing to not care about them and focus on what's infront of me #if you need a sign to start growing out of kpop and start worrying about your own life here it is babe 😭 don't let anybody give you shit #Not to say kpop is bad or anything I just think for me it was getting a bit out of hand #As much as we all make fun of the delulus it's so easy to fall down that spiral when these idols constantly tell you they love you #The parasocial relationship was REAL istg these people felt like my friends #Hueningkai does not give a FUCK about me and he is so real for that #Thinking about deleting this blog but I'm logging off after this so I very well may forget it exists again #But I just wanted to share what's been going on #And I miss you guys a lot #I may have outgrown kpop and tumblr but you all still have a special place in my heart #I miss the good old days 😭 when discord let's me back in I might visit wme #Not much has changed with me but mentally I feel like a whole new person #But I hope you all are doing GREAT #Living your best lives and doing things that make you happy #You owe it to yourself more than you owe these celebrities anything #xoxo savie 😝🤟🤟🔥🔥🔥

[traitorsinsalem]

i sound like the youngest boomer on earth whenever i say this but it really was a mistake for baby gays to learn about the term fruit. idk what it is about the internet that makes kids see a derogatory term for a marginalized group they’re part of, or even just adjacent to, which they’ve never been targeted with and decide it’s just their new Special Inside Joke Swear Word. some 16 y/o online calling a picture of a celebrity wearing a gaudy sweater fruity or faggy isn’t “reclamation” it’s just parroting homophobia and not funny in the slightest.

speaking among onesself or close friends is one thing but when it gets to the point (and it has) where people are calling real life people they barely (or don’t) know homophobic terms, it doesn’t matter if the person saying it is gay or not.

#succ speaks #also i thought people were only like this online but being at a lac. people really just do this to people they know irl. #like they actually just say things. having to listen to a girl call ross gay 'fruity' in a poetry class and then like a week later... #...a guy who i was kinda friends with but also hung out with a total of like 5 times decided yeah sure i can call the group chat faggots #just......wow. people really live like this. and not even 8th grade gsa attendees who are still learning. young adults in the workforce. #i also think this sort of faux solidarity is why this same demographic desperately tries to express personal parallels to experiences... #...they have never gone through and/or cannot possibly go through. something about slowly losing the ability to listen and needing to talk. #<- also sorry to sound like a psych major but egocentric approaches to social media has done irreversible damage to so many young ppl... #...but at the same time we (young ppl on social media) are to blame because social media platforms are egocentric by design. #being invested in onesself isn't a cause of shitheadedry but a lot of people have really just gotten so dismissive of others it's insane. #also idk pretend i made a solid link between this and The Lost Art Of The Sincere Apology And Taking Accountability #this is just me parroting a convo i had w some friends at lunch 2day btw. posting it online bc someone probably needs to see this. #<- AS IN. ppl have definitely thought the same thing and need to see it articulated not that someone needs to feel called out by it #feeling called out by this would be like. a personal problem to sort out

[arachnerd-8-legs]

actually, what does "growing up" mean, anyway? losing my whimsy and wonder of the world? being afraid of what other people think of the things i do and enjoy? conforming and choking under the very societal norms i despise? why would anyone want to do that? for other people's comfort?

what a shabby reason to give up my heart on my sleeve! i will continue to be happy and do what i want, actually

#the happiest elderly people are those who had relearned how to experience whimsy #and as people grow too old to care about what other people think #'growing up' seems to be some kind of weird cynical phase in the middle #it seems restrictive and unhappy to try seem 'mature' #when you're in your teens or 20s maybe 30s and nowhere near actually mature #only to learn later in life that it really doesn't matter and never has #and you regret the things you didn't do #like you may as well just cut that sad part out at this point #live free live happy etc etc #fill your home with the things you enjoy in the way you like it #treat yourself every day because youre the most important person in your life #im hung over and my head's spinning but i was still baffled by that ask #but this is a topic i feel a lot for in general #as with anything concerning social norms and the need to adhere to them in order to (try) be accepted #maybe im just too autistic to get it but i never saw value in that like. at all

[thethingything]

local man discovers he's gotten into the habit of using DBT techniques without actually being taught them because at some point he realised that the things we get the urge to do when we have strong emotions often aren't healthy and that he doesn't like how he feels afterwards so he started noticing when that was happening and going "fuck that shit" and doing the opposite instead

#personal #thoughts #Lucy post #talking to 🍬 about various stuff we do because of our social anxiety and what are probably undiagnosed BPD symptoms #and we realised he's gotten himself into the habit of paying attention to how his emotions affect his judgement #and trying to take a step back when he's experiencing an emotion that he knows gives us the urge to do stuff that's not healthy for us #and he said he felt bad about having those emotions and urges to do unhealthy stuff #at which point I was like ''okay but you're choosing not to act on that and to take a step back and do something healthier instead #which is what actually matters here and is also something that takes a hell of a lot of self-awareness and self-control'' #this is shit they teach you in therapy that's difficult specifically because you're going against your brain's instincts for a situation #and we were never taught how to do it so you've just fucking taught yourself to do it instead #without actually knowing it's a specific technique that has a name #I was aware of it but had never actually looked at the instructions properly because when I stumbled across it #it was at a point where being told to go against what my emotions made me want to do felt invalidating and upsetting #I've literally just pieced together that ''oh right that's what that is and how it's supposed to work #and how it's meant to feel when you do it right'' #anyway all this is to say that I keep being impressed with the amount of progress 🍬's made on learning healthy coping mechanisms #including things I could never seem to get the hang of when I was fronting more and handling more stuff #and I'm really proud of him and 🦋 and everyone else who's been handling stuff within the system and keeping things running #but also nobody in here seems to realise how much progress they've made with anything until someone else points it out #I just realised I should tag this as #happy posting #because I'm talking about stuff that's going well and where we've actually made a lot of progress

[greppelheks]

I've really actively been working on myself for the past ten years, only to realize the way I was trying to be, just ain't for me.

I've gotten rid of my social anxiety, I've learned how to do small talk and be really good at it, I've learned how to be in groups and how to communicate, I've learned how to connect with others, step out of my comfort zone and get rid of my fear of trying new things.

And now I'm like huh... I'm actually happiest at home in my comfort zone. Its not that I can't do all the things I could never so anymore, but I don't really want to? Its kinda peaceful.

#personal #I'm so happy I learned all those things #because I do feel more connected to people and I'm more at ease around them and myself #but I worked towards having a normal life so much #a life I saw others live where they had lots of friends and social outings and cool hobbies #and I'm like I could do all those things now #but I'm actually happiest with one max two social outings a week for maybe an hour or two #and I'm not all that interested in cool hobbies I'd rather do crafts and cooking and going for walks #and it's like.... acceptance #it's ok to live a smaller life #a bigger life would make me unhappy #it's actually so funny (read: frustrating) #because I had to ACTIVELY learn how to do all these things I've gotten really good at it #only for me to realize that most people #(the people I thought I had to be like) #are actually pretty bad at it #so now I'm the best conversationalist and host and deep questions asker and connector #and most people I meet aren't actually all that good at it #so now I'm the designated social person #and I'm like no thank you :) #endless books and videos and therapy to learn at how to talk connect communicate only to realize most people hardly do it lmao #I'll never understand the way people communicate I've been studying it for years but it doesn't make sense to me

[starpros-sunshine]

Also I have to confess when Eichi does the the "I've heard usually people do this and this" or anything in that vein as a statement it's so real to me

#speaking as someone who learned most of their way of existing from tv and movies ans audio books and audio dramas. #I wasn't confined to a hospital bed I was just very enamored with movies and TV shows and audio dramas #and never really interested in interacting with other kids #and I'm an only child #and my social life began around this winter when people started celebrating their birthdays and inviting me and hanging out and inviting me #before that I never did anything with my friend acquaintances #We're too close to be acquaintances but i don't like labeling people as friends it puts an obligation on the relationship #there's one of them i genuinely consider a friend but we mostly talk about our interests and that's where it stops #she's the only one I talk with outside of the shared WhatsApp chat and ever since her number one friend found another number one friend #We've started talking more because what else am I supposed to do #it's nice. I'm a tea drinker now. #somewhat #in movies they always have bigger friend groups but i cant manage that many relationships at once #so it's better if I reserve the term friend for people who I actually talk to outside of certain contexts #but yeah it's so interesting when life imitates art #teenagers are supposed to get drunk right recently I accidentally got drunk enough to deliver the finishing blow to an already weak glass #never doing that again imagine the things I could've revealed about myself #but it's a fascinating experience because now I can look at that in fiction and understand!! #and I've been told I'm a bit cartoonish in the way I carry myself #which is a little funny to me because I as a person am pretty apathetic to a Lot of things #few things that make me happy a lot of things that annoy me and the rest is jusg kind of in the soup #but it's fine rhats just what being normal is like i guess #i should sleep it's lateeeeee and I need to get up early tomorrow. #regrettably #enjoy the tags while you still can because those things will be going down with this post in a few hours when I'm awake again and #less uncomfortable with sharing any kind of personal information

[bisexualamy]

i do this every 3-6 months where i consider that i may be autistic and then i just decide it's not worth it to investigate. instead i've just kinda settled on allowing myself to do stimming behaviors and routine setting and managing overstiumlation in a way that keeps me comfortable and not label myself as anything

#ren speaks #it has been instructive for me to just like. label myself as decidedly nd and move on #it may not be that way in the future but it works for now #i have a good friend who i lived with for two years who is autistic #who told me multiple times that they thought i was somewhere on the autism spectrum #its one of the reasons we worked so well living together #but i never got far down that path bc every mental health professional i've seen #has told me i don't qualify bc i have too much social intelligence #i am good at social situations i'm good at reading people #what they do not understand is i am only good at that now bc i have studied other people since i was a child lmao #i just learned all of the rules #and i've started just only existing in social circles around people who do not care so much about the rules #anyway. the framework is helpful for me #it's also destigmatized a lot of the shit i do for myself to keep myself safe #tons of notetaking really intense color coded calendering organizing things really specifically establishing routines #eating the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day #always bringing headphones with me so i can dull sounds if i'm overstimulated #it helps to know that other people do this too #anyway

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also like only getting to interact with family / being stuck unable to go anywhere in a suburban or otherwise car requisite environment / otherwise isolated is obviously not good but when people are like “going to school = developing normal correct social skills for kids” like as though even if [normal correct social skills] was a concept reflected in reality that the actual overall experiences people have in school totally taught them how to successfully interact with others. while it’s also like the “i hope kids are socializing the way they need to as much as they need to through school b/c that’s the only guaranteed avenue for it” = “adults better have all their social needs fulfilled through work =)” and like if people thought school was perfectly fine for them & surely everyone else & everything that happened socially was Healthy & Okay & turns around saying like well if a weird kid isn’t sent to school how can the crucible of their peers’ meritous reaction to their interaction efforts possibly forge them into a more normal person it’s like a “well My parents [used an abusive disciplinary tactic i’m asserting is okay for kids] & i turned out fine” situation when nt people by virtue of at least still being nt can claim that like yeah the bullying & fact that no actual socializing "teaching” goes on & is really abstract when it does & the ubiquity of concepts like “wow all the untouchable popular people who were assholes” etc etc like. again being isolated at home isn’t Good even if the home life is good, even if you Also go to school, but. same old same old concepts i guess like nd people can must should & will learn to be nt through the organic aba that is peers’ (&/or also teachers’) rejection of w/e ways they exist at school

#not even Actually directly abt homeschooling here just the type of like taken for granted notion that can come up if say #an autistic person was homeschooled like Alas that just made them Worse(tm) / so they never learned Social Skills(tm)...uh huh #you've presumably thus BEEN to school right....are you kidding #kids wherever doing whatever are gonna learn abt Socializing / Interacting one way or another from ages like four to eighteen or w/e #but then again idk what's more like Neurotypicality Idea than that well if you stick hundreds of kids in the same building and let them do #whatever then how can they Not figure out Socializing. it's just What You Do. #wherein really the most that adults are gonna do to Guide these things is like. stop talking / getting distracted during lessons #my doing the most Genuine Social Connecting With A Peer/s was stuff we weren't ''supposed'' to be doing. i.e. being Distracted or w/e #the friend i made organically where i don't think we even talked so to interact we had to be looking at each other/mirrored each other lots #so that was even more ''distraction'' and the teacher went sicko mode punishing that we weren't like solemnly following along during not #even a lesson at the time like wow thanks; this is all on a normal one then....that Was successful socializing; newsflash #it just wasn't ''correct'' for school b/c idk the inherent autistacity; being that i was involved at least; is like oh even more clearly out #of line than idk if we'd been sitting there talking but while duly unmoving or w/e #then like yep when i went to the isolated suburban home you have to Drive to leave i'd have no opportunities for interactions beyond the fam #like yes that also sucks. but the notion that simply existing at school / throughout it was a Normal Guide To Interacting for everyone like. #lmfao. but when some facet of your existence is more ''normal'' / ''correct'' of course you're Effortlessly having a more Successful time... #must be because you learned how to exist more Rightly than everyone else. the classic Learning involving no instruction / conscious effort

[pen-of-roses]

..............I was about to make a post about a character I talk about often and then realized I might have never uhh shared this knowledge with anyone about the character.................................

#so anyway #we all know none of my characters really have a gender at the very least never assume they're cis #like we all know this right #so it wouldn't be that much of a surprise to learn that Conor is trans right? #i mean #this so rarely affects anything since he figured this out almost immediately upon waking up with no memories hundreds of years ago #so he's processed and moved on and it's normal part of his life #but also how the fuck did i never mention this before #the post was going to be continuing figuring out the binding thing and how he dealt with that #and then just realized 'wait' #idek if concealeddarkness knows that #Conor is my self insert in terms of how i want to look at all times #but evil #well not evil evil #just more unhinged with a lot more trauma #we solve problems in very different ways and i am not nearly as good at manipulating people or fancy with words #i am a socially anxious mess

[trans-leek-cookie]

I'm very self critical to the degree it's harmful to my self esteem and mental health but also if I acted like half the ppl I see I'd fucking want to Die

#Like I don't already but that's unrelated I'm just tired lol. Anyway I will never get the thought ''well at least I'll never be that bad'' #Bc I will always think ''this is an example of not criticizing yourself looks like''. Anyway I think a lot of ppl could stand to be more #Judgemental of the things they do not even negatively just like. Thinking about stuff. I think most people need A Little social anxiety #These days. Anyway a lot of my issues come from being very isolated and not really being able to discuss my instincts with people who could #Confirm or deny their accuracy so. Eh. Ppl with a good support system could do with being more in their heads! #I think a good few problems could be solved by looking at interactions as if they weren't good faith. Are they annoying or Actively Shitty? #Intentions only matter as far as the future- will you learn from this bc you didn't realize something or did you never care? Either way #Whatever You Did happened and you gotta live with and possibly try to fix it. Anyway this post is about white ppl and Trans men bc I cannot #Deal. Just like in general it's not working for me.