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science-lings · 2 years

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LU Twili Beast HCs but Only Stupid Opinions

mama mia here we go again

I’m actually gonna have mercy on you guys this time though

Time-

Serious answer: I know canonically he’s also a wolf, you know as the hero’s spirit, however if he wasn’t a wolf, I think he’d be a Lion. They’re the most stay-at-home-dad animals out there yet they are also the most feared. The duality of playing with the kids one second and committing a violent crime the next is perfect Time energy. Also, as someone with a lot of experience with cats, lions are just slightly larger cats. Meaning they are both the smartest and the stupidest motherfuckers out there. They like to act like they’re so sophisticated and intelligent then they walk into a glass door and yell at you for it. I like to think that Time’s maturity is a front and he’s really just as much of a dumbass as the rest of them.

Crack answer: Just a regular house cat, contrary to popular belief, cats care a lot about their people. They bring back dead birds and live snakes because they don’t see you hunting for your own food and don’t want you to starve. I can see Time as one of those outside farm cats that lives off of the mice that gather and becomes besties with all the farm animals. Epona would recognize him instantly and he would find a way to climb on her back without hurting her.

Warriors-

Serious answer: Horse. Not only are they very much associated with war, they’re also beautiful and majestic and are completely willing and able to fucking kill you. There aren’t many other animals associated with war the way they are and have the perfect balance of proud and pretty, and absolutely deadly. They’re also smart and have soulless eyes, just like every other bisexual I know.

Crack answer: Swiftwind from She-Ra. if you know, you know. If any of them could pull of being a unicorn with rainbow wings and fabulous hair it’s definitely Wars. Anyway, drama queen with the capacity for great violence. What is a unicorn if not a horse with a built in sword growing on it’s forehead. Also I think Warriors deserves a little magic, I mean one of his main weapons is a fire rod and he constantly talks to fairies.

Legend-

Serious answer: In canon he is a rabbit, but I think he’s much more of a ferret. they’re just ferocious little snake kittens. They fit in small places and can wiggle out of any predicament. Despite being adorable, they can look fuckin pissed. I’m kind of scared of them.

Crack answer: Chihuahua, small fashionable asshole. Filled with rage and anxiety but ultimately pretty misunderstood and deserves better.

Hyrule-

Serious answer: Fox. Idk what to tell you, they’re clever and cute and are associated with fae and trickster spirits. Also I feel like foxes have anxiety and are a little jumpy. He’s mischievous and doesn’t know how to follow orders and thoroughly enjoys fucking around and not being there for the fallout.

Crack answer: The magic alien lion in She-Ra. Just a kibby made of magic adopted by gay people. Cautious and not super trusting at first but he’s a good judge of character and is surprisingly very nice. Also literally made of magic. And I think it he also deserves some lion imagery to show his courage and all that. He deserves to be cool and badass guys.

Sky-

Serious answer: An Eagle. I really wanted him to be a bird because of course, and eagles are like the most majestic badass birds out there. They’re associated with freedom and leadership and as he’s kind of the first reincarnation of Link, I think he deserves to have that kind of symbolism attached to him.

Crack answer: Pikachu. Cute and adorable but has the power of god on his side and can smite you, but you really have to deserve it because he’s generally super chill. Like if remlits could choose when to go apeshit. He has some self control. Sometimes.

Wind-

Serious answer: Parrot. Like a one of those macaws that are blue and green. They’re smart and clever and the most piratey animal ever. They’re also loud and talkative. They’re also cute and I love them. I feel like if a parrot were to engage in combat it would be very agile and loud about it. Like Wind. Like it would do dramatic flips and shit like how Wind does that rolling dodge constantly.

Crack answer: this crab

Four-

Serious answer: 4-5 mice, they’re all color coded. They’re smart and sneaky and small. I feel like they would climb on top of each other. I know rats are smarter and four deserves to be smart but mice are smaller and cuter. Maybe shadow is the rat in the group of mice...

Crack answer: a swarm of bees. These bitches know teamwork. Have you seen a beehive? that shit is modern art. They’re also chill unless you hurt one of them, then you’re really in for it. You underestimate bees yet you fear them, some of the greatest predators are bees. They deserve your fear. And so does Four.

Twilight-

Serious answer: I like him being a wolf, I think it fits, however I do also like the idea that he’s not 100% wolf. He’s like half domesticated dog and he just looks like a wolf. No one really knows though. I just don’t think the wolf fully shows how much of a good boy he is.

Crack answer: He wanted to be a fuckin ordonian goat let him be a fuckin goat. Their horns are stupidly impractical but he seems like the type that wants a simple life. He’s had enough chaos and trauma and he would be very happy just to chill out for like fifty more years until he dies. He deserves to nap in the sun and eat grass and not be forced to have thoughts. Also goats are stronger than they look and can probably break all your organs with a headbutt. Twilight would just be the most badass goat out there.

Wild-

Serious answer: As much as I like him being part of the wolf trio and thus making him a wolf, I think he’s much more like a Jaguar. (or a smaller wildcat like a Lynx or a bobcat) Cats are stealthy predators and good climbers and known for being great hunters. They’re also good at falling long distances and in botw I’m constantly jumping off of very tall places. But they are still cats and that means they’re naturally a little weird. Big cats are also affected by zoomies/ bouts of restlessness that cause them to run around and yell about it, and they play with their food and enjoy napping in the sun. He could also be a cheetah because they get so anxious that they need their own emotional support dogs and they’re very fast and Wild has the capacity to be incredibly fast.

Crack answer: Raven, clever, death omen, collects things, witchy, being gay and doing crimes babey. As a concept he isn’t scary but he definitely has the capacity to be absolutely terrifying. He may look edgy but he’s really just a little guy who likes to hoard stuff and things. And is likely to stab you for those stuff and things.

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shyrose57 · 3 years

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Updated Deities Of Mizu thing:

Things:

Origin myths are how the people of Mizu, and related cities believe the gods came to be. They weren’t actually spirits or born from the sky, but over time, history distorts, and it’s not like it hurts anything.

Most of Mizu’s history is actually pretty accurate, and untwisted. The deities stepped in and set things straight, once they realized what had happened.

Most, because some of it was pretty funny and harmless, so they just didn’t say anything about it.

The city of Subbin worships a different Pantheon(unsure which it consist of yet).

Mizu’s pantheon is known to appear quite frequently to them, and become close with it’s mortals.

Despite some beliefs, they don’t actually live within Mizu, for all they visit often. They reside in a separate dimension they all created together, and can leave freely.

Gods/Deities:

Tommy:

Head of the Mizu Pantheon, and god of mischief and discord, perseverance through hardships, and companionship and bonds.

Typically depicted as a scarred teenager with red string around his arms, and stars scattered along his body. Sometimes, he also sports wings on his back, or red horns and a spade-tipped tail.

Sacred animals are cows and moths.

Origin myth: He was originally a minor spirit of discord, born from a shard of Dream’s power. They say, entranced by the stars, he hauled himself into the sky, and the stars were so awed by his determination that they immediately embraced him as a brother, turning him into a god.

Closely tied with the other three minors, as a god of the Red String, he is represented as the string itself.

Tubbo:

Tommy’s counterpart, and partner in leading the Pantheon. God of the community, kindness and reconciliation, and hard work and reward.

Typically depicted as a younger boy, though that’s about the only thing that stays the same. Sometimes, he has curly ram/deer horns, and goat feet. Other times, it’s transparent wings, or snow dusted hair.

Sacred animals are bees and deer.

Origin myth: Ties into Tommy’s. Once a forest satyr, he was close friends with the chaos spirit, and stayed in the sea beneath him, ready to catch the other if he slipped. When Tommy looked down and saw the other waiting, ever unwilling to part, he tossed down a glass of honey, with the remains of stars mixed into it, and told him to drink it. Tubbo did, and his blood was burned gold.

Closely tied with the other three minors, as a god of the Red String, he is represented as the knot tying two people together.

Ranboo:

God of sentiment, loyalty to people and memory, and mind and soul.

Typically depicted as either a tall, faceless figure split down the middle, or a strange, reptilian creature with glowing purple eyes.

Sacred animals are enderman and cats.

Origin myth: Currently undecided.

Closely tied with the other three minors, as a god of the Red String, he is represented as the weaver of the thread itself.

Purpled:

God of value and worth, strategy, and riches.

Typically depicted as a shadowed figure in armor, with purple jewels decorating him. On some occasions though, he is shown as a purple eyed wolf instead, with a golden necklace around his neck.

Sacred animals are wolves.

Origin myth: Currently undecided.

Closely tied with the other three minors, as a god of the Red String, he is represented as the scissors that cut the thread when necessary.

Dream:

The original deity, and god of change, chaos, and order, and formerly, the End.

Typically depicted as a giant covered in a bloodied cloak and porcelain mask, with an axe upon his back, and chains on his wrists.

Sacred animal are horses and cats.

Origin myth: Came into existence when a meteor struck the Enderdragon through her chest, killing her, and from the remains of her heart, was born Dream.

George:

The second deity, and god of the Overworld, life, sentience, and rest.

Typically depicted as a sleeping man surrounded by plants, and draped in blue. His eyes are never seen, either closed, or hidden by a pair of black and white glasses.

Sacred animals are dolphins and butterflies.

Origin myth: Came into existence when a lonely Dream began to cry, and his tears spilled onto a lifeless planet, creating the Overworld, and George along with it.

Bad:

God of the Nether, chaos, marriage, and brides, it’s unclear whether he existed before Dream, or after George.

Typically depicted as a looming, demonic shadow with a crown of bone, and glowing white eyes.

Sacred animal is the wither skeleton.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Married to Skeppy.

Skeppy:

God of caverns and ores, mirth, magic, and mastery.

Typically depicted as either a figure draped in diamond jewelry and a veil, or a figure made or diamond.

Sacred animal is the bat, and the diamond golem.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Married to Bad.

Puffy:

God of the seas, motherhood, and release(of your emotions, of your past, ect).

Typically depicted as a sheep-headed woman, with an axe and a cutlass strapped over her back, and colorful ribbons in her hair.

Sacred animal is the otter.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Married to Niki.

Niki:

God of spring, battle, victory, and retribution.

Can be depicted in two very different ways. One, as a brown haired maiden, with strands of pale golden flowers framing her face. Or two, as an armored lady, with pink hair that turns to streams of blood toward the end, and baring a tattered cloak on her shoulders, a sword on her hip, and a dagger hidden on her back.

Sacred animal is the fox and the dog.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Married to Puffy.

Quackity:

God of law, order, the married, and the widowed.

Typically depicted as an one-eyed elderly man baring books of law and politics in hand, but also as a golden winged being with a lop-sided halo covering his right eye.

Sacred animal is the crane, and the canary.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Said to be formerly married to the spirit Sapnap, and the nymph Karl.

Others:

Sapnap:

Technically not a deity? A powerful spirit born to the Nether God, Bad, his domain falls over that of both humanity, and flame. Have up his life to imprison Dream.

Typically depicted as a humanoid made of flame, with ghostly white eyes, and red thread looped through his fingers.

Has no sacred animals, but is, for some reason, closely associated with cod fish, as well as blazes.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Drista:

The pseudo-sister of Dream, who played a heavy role in his imprisonment.

Typically depicted as a short figure wearing a grinning mask.

Associated with geese, for some reason.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Fundy:

A fox turned human/spirit who’s closely tied with Niki and Ranboo.

Typically depicted as a fox-like person, or fox hybrid.

Associated with foxes.

Origin myth: One day, in the remains of her battlefield, Niki came across a young fox kit that had been caught in the crossfire and killed. Feeling remorse for the death, she went to George and had him revive it into a boy, who Niki took and raised as her own.

Harbringer of fall.

Wilbur:

Some sort of fallen god or titan, perhaps? Little is known about him, besides the mentions in the Disc Saga, and a day of mourning meant in his honor.

No depictions. There’s no pictures or descriptions of this strange being.

Origin myth: Undecided/Unknown.

Ghostbur:

A sea spirit who’s widely honored as Mizu’s number one historian, and preserver of history.

Associations with blue sheep and salmon.

Typically depicted as a reclining man upon the shore, where his legs should be hidden by seafoam. His eyes are a bright sea-blue, and his lips are tinged.

Origin myth: Undecided.

#The Deities Of Mizu AU #dream smp #dream smp au #tommyinnit #tubbo #ranboo #purpled #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #badboyhalo #skeppy #quackity #wilbur soot #ghostbur #fundy #drista

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meet-me-in-the-pouringrain · 4 years

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Good evening I’m currently crying about the Cullen Family dynamic I have concocted in my head.

- Carlisle and Jasper sitting down together to better educate their old asses on the social conducts / normalities today.

- Esme and Rosalie taking nature walks together and just talking. Mother - Daughter day. Sometimes, if she wants, Alice joins them.

- Emmett fully starting all out battles be it Nerf, snowball or water balloons early in the morning and all of them throw caution to the wind and join in. It usually ends in couple v couple with Edward off to the side in a huff until Bella joins and fuckin obliterates every single one of them.

- Jasper, Emmett and Edward (when he’s not being so annoying) embrace their brotherly relationship. They wrestle, argue, throw things and fight but it’s usually all in good fun. Until Eddie gets pissy then it’s real.

- Carlisle bonds with the kids when they are turned and makes it a point to do it as often as he can after. With Bella, he sits and discusses Literature for hours, with Alice they discuss her visions and he helps her delve into her past, Emmett (don’t tell Esme) he helps him Scheme, Jasper ^^^^, Edward they barely talk now that Bella is in the picture but when they do they could be up there for hours talking about whatever. He tried with Rosalie but she scares him.

- Esme makes it a point to spend time with the kids too. She and Emmett discuss their farm lives and debate over easier methods, Alice tries to style her differently every summer, Bella and her cook, Jasper usually prattles on for hours about horses and whatnot and Esme smiles patiently unwilling to tell him her farm was a vegetable one and not animal. Sometimes he just wants to be near her because she had the Best Vibes , Rose and her bond over their trauma at first but it slowly morphs into idle chatter about nothing. Edward, in my head, clings onto Esme more than anyone thinks because she reminds him of Elizabeth and usually is just around her while Esme is busting herself with design or painting.

- They honour Esme’s Jewish heritage along with Carlisle’s Anglican beliefs every December and have a mix of the two holidays. Rosalie, Bella and Alice spends hours every November making a menorah for Esme from scratch whereas Emmett, Jasper and Edward tackle the Christmas decorations. Emmett is on light duty. Alice spends hundreds of dollars buying matching clothes and pyjamas for all the Cullens.

- Esme and Bella spends hours in the kitchen whipping up Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner for the pack. Esme also makes various meals for Bella to take to Charlie while they still lived in forks.

- Whenever Carlisle decides to scold one of the children for one stupid stunt or other someone is guaranteed to bite back “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned”

- Emmett calls Esme “Momma” and Carlisle “Pops”. He’s the only one who refers to them that way. But Renesmee called them Nana and Poppy.

- She has nicknames for everyone. Rose is Rosey, Jasper is Jassy, Alice is Alley Cat (Alice thought of it herself and was so proud she tried to get every one to use it. Nobody does) Emmett is Emmy. Bella is simply Mom and Edward is Dad.

- Edward is fucking nice to Rosalie in my head and they have a tradition every December to personalise baubles for the other. 2008 had Rosalie make “Listen to Rosalie next time” whereas Edward made one that stated “you were right”

- Fun Fact! Vampires can smoke weed and drink alcohol in my head. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper definitely were/ probably still are smokers. Alice claims it helps her ignore visions when she doesn't feel up to it, Jasper says it helps ignore the emotions emitted by everyone. As soon as he heard that, Edward jumped on the bandwagon and immediately regretted it.

- They can also drink. One bottle of alchohol and they’re all bladdered. The venom sobers them up quickly but hell if Emmett doesn’t make it hard.

- Jasper and Emmett started a weed farm and did in fact start dealing at their school. Once Esme caught wind, however, all hell broke loose because. "You're hundreds of years old Jasper, you should know better!" "What about Emmett" "HE'S EMMETT"

- The Cullens are forced once a month by Esme to have a game night. Not monopoly though, she's still mad over the fact they had to move from Boston because Rose threw Jasper out of the window.

- Alice in retaliation makes them all have a movie night once a month. Once they had a vampire marathon. They put on Dracula, Interview with a vampire, Hotel Transylvania for Nessie and finally They binged Buffy the Vampire slayer. After the first five episodes, Carlisle almost spontaneously combusts and Edward convinces himself that somehow Angel was modelled after him. Bella threw the TV out of the window.

- Renesmee once suggested a huge game of hide n seek. Her and Jacob (who did NOT FUXKING IMPRINT THANK YOU) were the seekers. She found Carlisle and Esme after a few minutes, her parents after 10, Rosalie an hour later, Alice they didn’t find for a week, Jasper was about two weeks and they still hadn’t found Emmett after a month. He convinced Seth to go with him so Alice couldn’t cheat and they each phone at least once a day. He just giggles and hangs up.

- Rose eventually snaps and she and Leah (look I feel she’d get along best with Rose idk why) head out to find him. She comes back a day later with a sheepish and petulant Emmett behind her.

- Edward has written piano pieces for every woman in the coven. Esme actually has about 20 because Edward’s indecisive ass couldn’t sit still when it was the three of them but she’s memorised them all and hums a tune or two when she’s painting. Rose has 5 because he found his music calmed her in the early days, Alice has two and Bella + Nessie have just the one. Edward cries daily about it.

- Emmett was the one who instigated Mothers/Fathers day. He asked Rose and EmoFuck one day what they did for them and Edward had a panic attack while Rose zoomed out the house to go get Esme a bunch of flowers. They celebrated it ever since.

- Bella + Alice + Emmett blasting “Am I a Man or am I a Muppet” on repeat both out loud and in their heads just to fuck with Edward.

- When hunting, Esme has a tendency to climb a tree and just sit and wait for her husband to walk past. As soon as he’s in her eyesight she ‘falls’ onto him/next to him. She fake breaks her leg and he reverts into Doctor Cullen. The coven in absolutely mortified by this and the two love it. They embrace their embarrassing parents act willingly.

- The Cullens have a naughty corner. The two most frequent users are the Choas triplets; Alice, Emmett and Bella. Carlisle has been put in the corner multiple by Esme for his own stunts- such as turning Rosalie for Edward- and once Esme was put in the corner by Carlisle. They won’t disclose what she did but the next time they were all together in town, a group of Drag Queens came up to Esme and asked where she got her body glitter from.

- The Cullens learning from their past mistakes with the Werewolves and being godsends to the communities they live in. Esme baking and cooking food and donating the lot of it, Rosalie helping out at preschools and kindergartens and being called “Miss Rosie” by half the kids, Bella tutoring students in English, Alice donating clothes to women’s shelters, Edward giving music lessons, Carlisle donating money to those in need. Emmett being that guy who protects all the women from creeps, Jasper helping the quiet kids out with confidence boosts, Renesmee just being an all round kind person and the one who can make friends anywhere.

- When they leave Forks for the last Time, Carlisle donates a huge check to the Tribe with a letter giving gratitude and apologising for everything. Billy cried and Sue had to take the cheque and spread it amongst the tribe.

- Jacob continued phasing for the next 20 years, he regularly takes trips to wherever the Cullens are living to visit Bella and Ness. Whenever it happens, Alice buys him a whole suitcase full of shorts and jeans, Esme bounces of the walls in excitement, Emmett loses his shit and Bella is insufferable but they don’t seen Rosalie or Edward of a day for however long he stays. He eventually stops phasing when Billy passes.

#twilight saga #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #esme cullen #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #rosalie cullen #rosalie hale #jasper hale #jasper cullen #alice cullen #bella swan

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lovelivingmydreams · 3 years

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Paper Flowers: one step forwards two steps back

Progress isn't always linear. And the setbacks can feel devastating. But it might still be worth it to try and move forward again.

A cute puppy jumps around excitedly, clearly asking to play, in a grassy field, on a sunny day.

Dad lays his hands to his heart. "Aw so cute!"

The dark Lord has his arms crossed, face partially hidden in the shadow of his pulled up hood. "Pathetic," he scoffs, not even looking.

A cat delicately washes her face. Dad gasps. "Elegant!"

Nemesis rolls his eye. "Obnoxious"

A horse prances around a meadow, hair flowing freely in the wind.

Dad stared on in awe and whispered: "Majestic."

Nemesis pinched the bridge of his nose. "Disgraceful"

Suddenly Dad jumped on a bench and pointed frantically at the ground. "Aaah spider!" he screamed.

Nemesis cooed as he knelt down. "Hello there darling!" He gets up, gently petting a massive spider.

Dad screams in horror once more.

"Well, that was fun," Patton smiled nervously. Virgil looked up at his paternal colleague with a raised brow. The man's body language didn't exactly radiate "I just had fun" energy.

"Plastic spider got you spooked huh?" He mused as he returned his attention to his phone. Thomas just got done filming their character's collab video. Princey's latest very transparent attempt at helping Virgil get along with the others.

"A little," Patton admitted. "But still. I get why Roman enjoys making videos with you so much!"

Virgil suppressed a scoff. There was no real need to point out that it was just Thomas playing caricature versions of them. If Patton wanted to pat himself on the back for this he wasn't going to burst his bubble. So he just shrugged. "I guess," he muttered not noticing how Patton lit up at this small victory.

“Wonderful work you two!” Roman beamed as he entered the commons. Okay, so apparently there was a point in pointing out the obvious.

“Does everyone just forget that it is Thomas who plays these characters? Most we did was toss in a few suggestions. The vine is all you Roman, jeez!” Virgil complained, though he gave Roman the smallest hint of a smile. He wasn’t sure if Roman had started making an effort to give the others credit since they became friends, or if it was just a part of him Virgil only saw now because he spent some actual time around him without shouting insults at each other. Not to say they hadn’t had fights the past… Six months, man time flies. Anyway, their fights could get just as heated as ever. But now after they stormed off to their rooms to cool down, one or the other would eventually knock on the other’s back door with a movie or a snack and an apology. They’d talk things out and make up. It was much better like this. In the past when Virgil’s anger subsided he’d start panicking about… well, everything. Not talking about it afterwards, or even acknowledging that a fight had taken place… Yeah not great.

Roman just rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say Gloom Day. But what did you guys think?” he asked, smile back in place. Roman was already feeling good about today because Virgil had more or less openly complemented him.

“It was amazing Roman! I’m sure the fanders will love it too!” Patton gushed.

Roman gave a little bow. “Thanks padre. Your enthusiasm is appreciated as always.”

This time Virgil could not contain his snort.

“Something funny? Panic at the everywhere?” Roman asked, hands on his hips and a brow raised in challenge.

“Nice one,” Virgil allowed. “It’s just, why even bother asking him? You know he’s going to sing your praises. You can’t sneeze without getting a medal as far as Patton is concerned,” he pointed out.

“That’s not true,” Patton protested gently.

“Well, what did you think then? Oh, sinister one?” Roman asked expectantly, not commenting on the medal thing.

Virgil thought about that for a moment. “I guess it was sort of okay. It was rough on Thomas because Dad and Nemesis have very different energy, but he enjoyed it. The fanders probably didn’t expect the nemesis to interact with other characters,” he allowed, trying to sound reluctant. This time he did see that Patton was beaming. He was really getting too soft around the others.

“Evening everyone,” Logan greeted as he entered the commons. Making Patton get up to get dinner ready and Virgil contemplate whether he’d have dinner in his room or if he could handle a little more social interaction.

“Logan! How did you like today’s project? I am two for two and feeling pretty good, so no need to hold back your criticism,” Roman grinned. Logan cast his eyes to Virgil and then to Patton who nodded, clearly excited to confirm this.

“I see. Well while your intentions were rather transparent, it was a rather good experiment.”

Virgil sat up confused. Did… Did Logan figure them out?

“I don’t have any idea what you are talking about,” Roman grinned innocently.

Logan sighed and adjusted his glasses. “Fine. You ran a test to see how the fanders would respond to the characters loosely based on our personalities interacting. Anxiety and Patton are an interesting first choice. My character and Patton’s would have a more natural combined narrative, but it is effective none the less. I assume that if this gets positive reviews, you will propose other collaborations as well?”

Roman shrugged. “Maybe.”

Virgil felt kind of bad. Roman had promised to stop pushing the subject after things got to a blow with Patton after the whole ‘Marcus’ incident. He should have known that he wouldn’t intentionally push them together.

“Oh Roman! That’s a brilliant idea! That’ll definitely help Anxiety feel less nervous about the whole thing. Right Anxiety?” Patton asked kindly.

Virgil shrugged as he got up to set the table. Just to have something to do.

“You guys do whatever. I’m still not on board.” He didn’t expect them to get it. They represented what people liked about Thomas. His intelligence, creativity, humor, kindness, passion…

He was… as far as everyone was concerned, what hurt Thomas. And yes, he overdid it, a lot. He had tried to be better, honestly, but he couldn’t help who he was.

“We’ll see about that Doominator. I’ll win you over, just you wait. But what did you think Logan?” Roman insisted, pulling Virgil out of his thoughts.

“Well, until we have more data it is hard to say…” Logan started, but then he stopped to ponder. Roman was actively asking for feedback. He had even stated that he could handle it if it wasn’t entirely positive. Maybe he should reward that effort with some of his own.

“Though while I usually would stick with facts, if it is my personal opinion you are seeking…”

An eager nod from Roman confirmed this. Well here goes.

“You all know I am not most in tune with emotions and artistic endeavors. That being said, you did well. The classic broken pattern and the recurring theme of closing off a video including Anxiety and any other character with some form of screaming will almost certainly be well received by the fans.”

Roman was beaming. He had more or less expected someone to criticize the skit in some way, but they all really thought it was good. Maybe the Sanders Sides series could actually happen!

“Dinner’s ready! Thanks for helping out Anxiety,” Patton said pleasantly.

Virgil looked down at the table and found he’d finished setting for four. Guess he’ll be staying for dinner.

He sat across from Patton with Roman to his right and Logan to his left. Roman was brainstorming out loud while they ate dinner, occasionally encouraged by Patton or redirected by Logan when he veered of topic. Once or twice Virgil even muttered a teasing remark which had Roman pouting dramatically and the specs trying to hide their amusement.

It was nice, almost, normal.

He should’ve known then that something was heading his way.

“What do you say Florida Ghoul? Underrated Disney movie night?” Roman asked as they put away the dishes.

Virgil was honestly tempted. Almost all his favorites were in that category. Which Roman knew. They’d argued about the best movies often enough.

But if he started he might lose track of time…

“I have made you all suffer through enough of me I think. I’m going to head down, see what the others are up to.” Thomas was more or less dozing off in front of the tv, he should be fine going down. Maybe he could ask J for a movie night of their own.

“Night,” he waved as he made his way to the door to below. Suddenly he felt someone tug at his hoodie? He looked back, expecting Roman, but it was Patton, looking at him with big shocked eyes.

“Y-you’ll be back though right? We really don’t mind you staying. You don’t have to…”

Virgil raised his hands. “Wow, calm down. What made you think I was going to go back? Permanently I mean.”

Patton looked away, let go of his shirt and started fidgeting with his hands.

That told Virgil enough. He looked up to Roman and Logan. “What did Deceit do?”

Roman got ready to speak, but Logan beat him to it.

“About a week ago, after we first discussed Roman’s Sanders Sides idea, he made a brief appearance. He implied that he might take you back in if we didn’t do a better job of ‘handling you’. Roman and I already assured Patton that Janus has no such power without our aid, but he apparently has not been convinced.”

Virgil glanced to Roman who nodded to confirm that this was how things had played out.

He let out a tired sigh. “I can’t belief this guy. I’ll be right back.”

Before anyone could say anything he rushed down the stairs. His thoughts racing. Was this the first time Janus had tried to guilt the others into being his friends? Had Roman… No… No he couldn’t start down that path. Not yet anyway.

“Janus!” he called out as he entered the living room.

“Virgin!” Remus greeted excitedly. Virgil gave the chaotic gremlin he’d grown up with a quick wave.

“Leave us for a sec Remus,” he growled, not looking away from the yellow clad side.

Janus walked up to Remus, looking at Virgil with confusion.

“Why don’t you go hunt something for breakfast Remus,” Janus suggests. Remus didn’t need any more prompting than that. A second later they were alone.

"Virgil, what's the matter?"

Virgil worked a brow. "What do you think? Why could I possibly be mad at you?" He asked, wanting to give Janus a chance to fess up himself.

Janus took in his body language and expression. This was not the fury he'd expect if he'd somehow discovered Janus had been in his room when he wasn't there.

So that left... "Did the lights really tell on me?" He huffed trying to hide how worried that made him. He had no clue about the context. What did Virgil think happened?

"No. I said I was planning on hanging with you guys tonight with plenty of my usual self deprecating humor and Patton was worried I was planning on staying away. I figured you had something to do with that. Logan told me what happened because I asked," Virgil clarified.

"Now I want to hear your side. The truth J. Please." He really hoped the explanation wouldn't be as heartbreaking as the one in his head.

Janus took in a deep breath. "Okay, bit promise we'll stay on topic. No evading, no beating around the bush." Virgil nodded in agreement.

Janus studied his face for a moment until he was satisfied with what he saw. "Okay. Virgil you have been disappearing. I tried to check up on you a few times the past few months and you were just gone. I allowed you to go upstairs because I thought it would be better for you. But if they are erasing you... I needed them to at least try to keep you. I didn't know what else to do..."

Virgil groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to skip over the fact that you obviously entered my room while I was our, for now." He took a deep breath. It wasn't a surprise really. Janus and Remus both always just appeared in his room when they wanted to speak with him. So of course Janus had occasionally popped in to find it empty.

"I was probably in the imagination," Virgil confessed.

"The... why? How?!" Janus asked shocked.

"Roman gave me a little meadow to relax. Like 5 months ago I think. Not too long after the prince vs nemesis video's started. I go there when I need a break."

Janus stammered for a few seconds before letting out a utterly perplexed: "Why?"

That hurt a little. Was it that hard to belief?

"He only said he felt like giving me something. Maybe it was because I gave him some constructive criticism earlier and he wanted to try out positive reinforcement. You know he always overdoes everything," Virgil explained. There wasn't a single lie in his statement, so Janus believed him.

"But... he's not supposed to know..." Janus collapsed a hand in front of his mouth, realizing he said that out loud.

"What is Roman not supposed to know?" Virgil growled.

Janus took a small step back. "I... before I sent you upstairs I told Patton and Logan what I was planning and why. I wanted to be sure they'd look after you."

Virgil nodded. That made sense. "Why was Roman not supposed to know that?"

Janus couldn't look at Virgil. "I... told them I was worried what it would do to Thomas if you didn't move to a less stressful environment. I wasn't sure if Roman would be helpful or even more wary of you. So I blocked even the thought of telling Roman about our conversation from their minds."

Virgil was silent for a few moments. Somehow he felt a lot better about everything now. It all made so much more sense.

"Unblock it then," he muttered as he turned around.

"Virgil..."

"Unblock it. I'll see you guys next week or something. Maybe..." J had meant well after all... right?

"Virgil!" Janus called after him, but he was already halfway the upper commons.

When he walked in Roman, Logan and Patton were standing there waiting for him.

"Janus lied. So you don't have to pretend anymore. And you should be able to tell Roman," he said. Hands in his pockets, leaning casually against the doorframe. His old walks back in place. It was better that way.

"Anxiety... kiddo no. You..."

"Just drop it!" Virgil hissed in his tempest tongue, the briefest glimpse of his feral form was enough to make Patton stagger backwards into Logan. Roman was reaching out though. He was still on Virgil's side.

"I was getting sick of all this sappy family stuff anyway," he scoffed before leaving for gos room.

Roman stormed into the meadow ready to break down Virgil's door if he had to. Virgil hadn't knocked not even once. But he couldn't be left alone with his thoughts now!

He was barely two steps inside when he spotted Virgil sitting there, a crown of purple daisies in his hand.

"You came," the anxious man breathed in relief.

Roman sat down next to him careful to keep enough distance but also be within reach.

"Of course," he said gently. They both knew ge wanted to defend Patton and Logan. To assure Virgil that they never did what they did because they feared he would be pushed to the edge and hurt Thomas in the fallout.

Virgil had explained to him that his discomfort around Patton was due to feeling like the moral side saw him as a ticking timebomb.

The reason for that was painfully obvious now. But how to make Virgik see that Patton was more distant than he wanted to be instead of more welcoming?

"I knew it was all too good to be true. The bubble was bound to burst... I told myself not to get too attached, cause it would end up hurting... I didn't realize... not until earlier. My room is almost back where I started Roman. I litterally pushed them away. And I thought... I thought I'd pushed you away too." Roman could tell Virgil had been crying.

"Preposterous. I'm much too stuborn to get rid if that easily," he assured Virgil. The darker side cracked a smile at that.

"I'm glad I was wrong about that..."

Roman nodded. Virgil had told him how much he hated being right.

"Did I ruin movienight?" Virgil wondered tensely.

"Well I don't know about Logan and Patton. But you and I are going yo watch all those tragically underrated movies."

And with a wave of his hand Roman set out an out doors movie theatre complete with snacks. The sky darkened and Virgil was handed a movie menu.

He smirked as he looked it over. Roman really did have to overdo everything. Including distracting him.

It was appreciated though.

@moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @riverdoesbadart @vpow @apinkline2715 @frida43 @tired-yeetling @firegirl156

Later Virgil would discover that his room was moved just a few feet closer to the upper level again.

Next: adjusting

#sanders sides #fic #ts sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #prinxiety #ts virgil #ts roman #paper flowers au #patton sanders #janus sanders

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opinionated810 · 4 years

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Fluffy A-Z: Kun

A: activities (things you’d do together)

Once you’ve been together a while, I think Kun would love having you in the studio while he’s working on music. It’s the biggest passion in his life and he would want to share the whole process with the person he loves the most. I also think he’d love more stay-at-home type of dates - cooking together, watching a movie, etc. He could probably be convinced to put on a magic show for you. When you do have outside dates, I think he’s kind of the traditional dinner and a movie kind of guy. Occasionally would take you to the symphony or musical theatre.

B: beauty (things about you he finds physically appealing)

I think Kun would find nice skin beautiful - and not just the skin on your face. I think he likes the feeling of soft skin under his fingers and would always be absentmindedly stroking your arm or leg or your back under your shirt.

C: cuddle style

Kun loves when you sit next to each other and you just lean your head on his shoulder. He can breathe in your scent, put his arm around your shoulders, and pull you tight next to him. His hands never stop running up and down your arm or leg. Likes when you initiate this kind of cuddling.

D: deal breakers (his relationship deal breakers)

For Kun, I think the biggest deal breaker would be someone who is so set in their ways of thinking and beliefs that there is no room for him to try and insert some of his own beliefs. I think he likes people who know what they want and who they are, but he also needs to feel like he can have an influence on them and their beliefs and ways of thinking. So someone who is too stubborn and inflexible about their ideas (or being open to new ideas) would be a complete turn-off for him.

E: education (what and how you learn from each other)

I think Kun enjoys discussing and debating a lot - and the more outrageous or weird the belief/thought/idea that you’re discussing (like, would you rather be a pirate or a ninja?), the better! He also enjoys deeper conversations and debates, but also really likes the fun, playful, and random conversations you have. From these conversations, he not only learns what your take on the subject is, but he also learns how you argue and debate and how your mind works when confronted with strange ideas. He appreciates the quirks that people have in their way of thinking - even if he completely disagrees with you.

F: first impression (the impression he gives off on your first date)

I think Kun would be a bit nervous but would hide it pretty well. He might get a bit clumsy and bump into the dinner table or drop his fork, but nothing too much to give away his nervousness. He would try really hard to always seem interested in what you were saying - even if he found the subject a bit boring or didn’t know anything about it. Overall, I think he would give off a very interested, attentive, and patient vibe on your first date.

G: gifts (things he buys for you)

Because of his thing for nice skin (see B above), I think Kun would buy you a lot of skincare stuff: lotions, bath bombs, perfumes, etc. He would also see this as one way for him to encourage you to pamper yourself. He knows that if he buys you something like this you would use it because it came from him.

H: happy (when he’s the happiest with you)

Kun would be the happiest with you when he can surprise you with something you’ve wanted or wanted to do. It can be difficult for him to keep secrets from you because a)he just doesn’t like keeping things from you in general, and b) he just gets so excited to share things with you that he can’t keep much a secret. So when he’s able to surprise you, and you like the surprise, he’s really happy that he was able to show you how much he cares for you in a fun and exciting way. He loves seeing your happiness at his surprises.

I: introduction (when and how he introduces you to the people in his life)

I think Kun would introduce you to the other WayV members pretty quickly into your relationship. It would probably take a bit longer with some of the other members of the other units (mostly just because there are so many of them). Your first meeting with WayV members would be really casual and most likely unplanned - you and Kun are just watching a movie at his place when someone comes home early. But it’s not a big deal because he’s talked about you to them - and about them to you. It would take him longer to introduce you to his family, but I still don’t think it would be really long. You’re an important part of his life and he would want his family to know you and share in his (and your) happiness.

J: jealousy

I feel like Kun would be quietly jealous. While his facial expressions may give his jealousy away, he wouldn’t ever let on verbally if there was anyone else in the room. When it’s just the two of you, he’s very verbal in telling you how he feels, but he does it in a pretty matter-of-fact way. He wouldn’t lose his temper but I can see him potentially becoming a bit childish in his mannerisms and language - pouting and rolling his eyes a bit. But again, I don’t think he’d have any problem talking rationally with you about it.

K: knew he was in love with you when ...

He had to be away for something for a long period of time (tour, filming, promotions, etc.) and you were understanding that he might not be able to talk or text with you very often - if at all. You would miss each other, but you knew that this was part of the deal when you started dating. And your grace about it (even though it sucked and you were sad and going to miss him) really showed him that you care about him and understand the demands of his career.

L: love language

Acts of Service - Kun would show his love by doing the little, everyday things that need doing. Even though he cooked dinner (your favorite), he would tell you to rest on the sofa while he cleaned up and did the dishes. If you needed to take something back to the store, he’d volunteer to do it on his way to work the next day. If you bought a bookshelf for your apartment, he’d put it together for you.

M: make-out session (his favorite type of kisses)

I actually think Kun really likes fun, teasing kisses. If you were to give him a quick peck on the lips then start to pull away, he’d try to get you to kiss him again. The more you pepper his face with small, quick kisses, the more he’d want to kiss you deeply. But he’d let you tease him for a bit first.

N: nicknames (his for you and what he likes to be called by you)

I feel like Kun would call you something fairly romantic and traditional. I can see him calling you “love” a lot. For Kun, I actually think he’d enjoy it if you called him names that slightly teased him - like “Grandpa” because he’s so cautious, or “Gordon” after grumpy chef Gordon Ramsey. He’d love a nickname based off an inside joke or story that only the two of you share.

O - odor (what he smells like)

For some reason, I think Kun smells really masculine (if that makes any sense). I think he’d use a fragrance that had a lot of typically “masculine” scents in it: woodsy, deep, earthy, etc. But I think he’d wear it lightly so that you can only really smell it when you’re cuddling.

P: pda

I don’t think Kun is big into PDA. If your relationship has been made public, I think the only thing he’d be comfortable doing is holding hands. If it isn’t public, I don’t think he’d be into any PDA - he wouldn’t want to draw attention to you. In the dorms - in front of the other members, managers, etc. - he wouldn’t hesitate to hold hands, kiss you, have you sit on his lap, cuddle, etc.

Q: quirks (odd things he does)

When he doesn’t understand something you’re trying to tell him - or when you’re having trouble explaining something to him - Kun will tilt his head to the side and kind of frown, but with a hint of a smile on his face. He’s not aware he does it - it’s just his natural reaction to finding you cute when you’re attempting to explain something to him.

R: romantic gestures

Early on in the relationship, I think he would be a bit shy about doing anything really grandiose, over the top, or really romantic. He wouldn’t want to come across as too enthusiastic until he was sure of your feelings for him. But once you’ve been together for a while and have both said “I love you”, I think he’d try to think of some really creative things - like leaving post-it notes with one word on them throughout the house, and when you put them together you get a love note.

S: saying I Love You (who says it first)

I feel like Kun would say it first. He wouldn’t wait too long after he realized it, but he would definitely want to make sure you returned the sentiment (or at least were close to doing so) before he said anything. Chances are you’d know anyway from the way he would look at you and the way he would treat you.

T: tail (what pets and animals you’d have together)

I can see you adopting numerous animals together: dogs, cats, even some more unique animals like ferrets or hedgehogs. I think that as long as they were rescue animals, Kun would be totally fine with any pets that could live in the apartment with you (so no horses, goats, etc.).

U: upbringing (what kind of dad he’d be)

I can see Kun being a strict but fun dad. I think he’d always make sure his kids knew and followed the rules he set, but he would also make sure they knew why the rules were in place - something that would be very important to him. And if his kids challenged a rule with good logic and reasoning, I think Kun would be flexible enough to change the rule.

V: vacation style

Kun is a natural leader and planner. Because of that, I think his vacation style is very organized, detailed, and everything is planned out to the minute. It doesn’t matter if you’re relaxing on the beach or exploring a large city - he’ll have the whole thing planned in no time. He’ll know exactly when and where you’re going, how you’re getting there, and what to do when you get there.

W: wild card

I think Kun is someone who is quite certain about what he wants out of life and out of a life partner. He’s also very focused on the things he wants. But I also think that sometimes he can be so focused on what he thinks he wants that he misses some other good things. He would be really appreciative if you were to force him to notice and enjoy something he would typically overlook. He would probably resist a bit at first, but after you explained why he should pay attention, he would do it and enjoy it.

X: eXtremes (the two extreme sides of his personality in a relationship)

I feel that when Kun is hurt he can be very quiet and not really give you the opportunity to explain or apologize (at least right away). He would need some quiet and distance in order to work through his feelings before you talk it out. His emotions when hurt can get pretty dark and he can be full of doubts about himself. On the other hand, he can be very childlike (not childish) in his approach to showing you his feelings when he’s happy. He likes trying to surprise you and gets genuine enjoyment out of your reactions - he loves to laugh, clap, and make funny faces when you react to his surprises.

Y: yes (how often he gives in to you)

I think Kun would give in to you fairly often - but he’d make you work for it first! He can be pretty stubborn and set in his ways of thinking (although he is open to new ideas) so you would need to come up with a good argument. But a lot of the time he’d give in anyway - he just likes hearing your argument and seeing how your mind works.

Z: zzz (sleeping style when you’re together)

Generally, I think Kun sleeps on his side, and i can see him hugging a pillow as well. So when you sleep together, he’s the big spoon while you sleep - and you’re the pillow he hugs. I think he’d really like falling asleep with his nose pressed into the back of your neck and your legs entwined.

... NEXT UP: NSFW A-Z: Doyoung

#nct #wayv #kun #nct a-z #wayv a-z #nct fluff #wayv fluff #kun fluff

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mothmansrevolt · 4 years

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LU Girl Scout AU (and subsequent PTA AU)

LU au where they have to pretend to be girl scouts because Time has to prove a point to the pta board and to the Karen Squad Its basically a bunch of highschoolers and singular college student pretending to be girl scouts because of both friendship and Time just shoved some sashes in their hands and said Y'all are all now girlscouts and offered to get them Chipotle as payment.

Twilight is in college(online). Warriors in a senior. Legend and Sky are juniors. Hyrule and Wild are sophmores. Four and wind are freshmen. Four is homeschooled by his grandfather though. All are in a specila branch called hylia scouts (creative i know). This means they get set uniforms and competitions with other troops over cookie selling boundaries since hylia scout troops are usually very close to eachother. There are two troops in their area including them. Troop 4296 (the Links) and 6669 (the Karen Squad) They are troop 4296 because Time wouldnt let them have either 420 or 6969

Time--a pta mom--rivals with the Karens--tired as all hell but will not hesitate to prank the karens--troop leader and/or chaperone depending on the situation--He has a million bumper stickers supporting his "girls"--honestly he's just here for the cookies--someone get this man a coffee--has two sons according to the law, but has eight in spirit--you mess with his children he will not hesitate to murder you--all his sons are arsonists and he doesn't understand why--will call the links his "daughters". half the town can't tell what children he actually has--loves coupons and discounts "Malon said I'm not allowed to start fights at the pta meetings but I will not hesitate drag her here if you insult my beautiful brats again." Twilight--Time's eldest son--only in this because he doesn't want his friends to get hurt and he loves his parents--a good boy--loves animals and will not hesitate to educate you on them--he wears overalls and if forced will wear a skirt over the overalls--he cant sell cookies for shit because nobody believes that he is a girlscout--sometimes has to duck down behind Four if certain people are around because they'll get suspicious--it does not work--He pretends to be everyone's big brother and they love him for it--perpetually confused by Wolfie "I have command over an army of teenagers and goats, nothing can stop me but gas money and my gpa." Wild--Time's second son--can pass as a girl pretty well--he destroys stuff during craft time--hot glues patches to sash--He has every one of the cooking patches and than some--Often seen with the camera photographing everything--Will help create new badges--give this boy a scavenger hunt and he will find you just about anything--has a tendency to ride on wild animals--isn't legally allowed to drive a car nor own a license. nobody knows why--second most convincing for this whole thing "This is just a glorified gang and honestly I am living for it." Four--from the neighboring farm but Twilight and Malon babysits him sometimes. he is a staple--the karens keeps trying to steal him because he is 'innocent' and 'a little lady'--this leads to ridiculous hijinks--he is small, quiet, not very mentally sound but he tries his best and is brave as all hell--owns the most badges--will rock the skirt always--fashionista or fashion disaster, there is no in-between--he's the most committed besides legend and warriors but is the most convincing--best cookie seller--Often seen handling sharp tools and knives for some reason, who gave this child a weapon?!--tends to befriend bad people--the only one with the fire safety badge even though, he to, is an arsonist--wears a vest because the sash is too big, Malon made it for him--has a bird named Ezlo who sits on his head "Sorry Miss Karen but I've been bribed with my first born child so kindly fuck off." Legend--salty and sassy--will always rock the skirt--also a fashionista and knows accessories--he's really only in this because of a running bet with warriors--he has a soft on the inside sometimes--he will get into cat fights--The other girlscouts from a rival troop HATE him because they will always lose arguments against him--knows the most about girl scouts, won't say how--Often seen blinged out with the jewelry he wins at the local chuck-se-cheese with his buddy Ravio "I have command over an entire troop of shortstacks and will not hesitate to order a strike against your fucking kneecaps. Do NOT question the authority of this skirt." Warriors--pretty boy--in a bet with Legend--also a fashionista--he is a big brother tho-- protection squad and trying his best--he is on student counsel and is a good leader--stand in when Time is busy--Often seen with a sports bag in one hand and a girl scout sash in the other--all the troops think he is a major lesbian because he keeps flirting with the other scouts--he gets more numbers as a girlscout, not that he could ever admit this "I'm a known lesbian among the girl scouts and honestly that is my crowning achievement." Sky--is here because his friends are here--He is the mom friend--second best at selling cookie because of his sweetness--He often tag teams with Four for selling cookies--is slightly confused but he's here to make sure nobody gets hurt--honestly just naps during meeting-- Often seen with blanket and a comforting hug--rival troops actually have scouts seeking out to befriend him--always forgets his skirt and is often seen borrowing his girlfriend Zelda's "Guys, please stop fighting you are all beautiful young women. Karen, you shut the frick up." Hyrule--the camper and nature boy of the group--he loves and has earned every patch for exploration and camping--tends to get lost--needs navigation patch--its been revoked from him twice--Humble and nice--often sleeps over at other peoples houses--nobody knows where he lives--it confuses the shit out of them--He is buddies with Four because Four knows the backwoods and roads the best--Often not seen due to being lost "Legend duck taped a gps to me arm and I think its lost to :(" Wind--baby boy--not as innocent as the others think--he absolutely loves being a girlscout--will play pranks on the other troops during jamborees and campouts--lives by the sea, slightly far away form everyone else--He helps with the nautical patches--hangs with the resident young delinquents, Tetra's gang. she thinks this is hilarious--he owns the troop wagon that they all use--its named King of the Red Lions or just Dave depending on the hour--only here because Twilight babysits him and his sister--also wears a vest because he thinks its cooler--Often seen with a telescope and covered in sand--someone give this child a bath "My first love may be the sea, but my second is that damned burrito, hand me the fucking skirt!" Wolfie--troop mascot--a giant half wolf half god knows what--has his own vest and patches-- has a tendency to just show up--Nobody knows where he comes from nor where he goes--he is the town cryptid and it isn't uncommon to see him pulling the troop wagon with the boys in it--Four still rides on his back--it counts as the horse back riding patch--Twilight is perpetually confused by him and its become a running gag that Wolfie is his fursona--loves cookies, sadly the cookies do not love him--can vaguely say curse words "arf" Shadow and Dark(I'm not sorry)--in karen's troop 6669 (for fun? for rivalry? who knows. they don't)--brothers--edgy bastards who are in a band together--Shadow is best friends with Four, Dark thinks he's pretty rad--Often seen with Four and the other edgy teens--both sassy, both easily pissed but trying to be kind of nice--Shadow is the only one who has achieved this--no those are not their real names, its Link and Link like everyone else in this goddamned town--HI MY nAME IS ebONY DArknESS DEMENTIA RAveN WAY--Dark is the author of My Immortal--both suck at selling cookies--tag team with Four to try and help their sales--rivals of troop 4296, they despise each other--both wear vests because Shadow wanted to match Four and Dark decided he can trick out the vest "Our mother may be a bitch and a dumbass, but at least we aren't petty white boys." "Wait Dark we are petty white boys" "FUCK" Karen Ganondorf Smith, Kaaren Link Johnson, Carhaen Reese--bitches and pta moms--runs the pta--the karen squad--Reese's daughter named Betghyani who is very nice and likes troop 4296--Johnson is mother of Shadow and Dark--they are fucking nuts y'all--they represent the three evils of the pta: the enforcer, the healthy diet extreme, and the bitch against disabled children (quiet hands!!!)--despite popular belief, Four (Link Smith) is in no way related to Karen Smith (legally at least. Karen thinks they are and it doesn't end pretty sometimes)--they all hate Time with a burning passion because he is not afraid to call them out on their bullshit "I've brought up so many stances and rules into this pta and will not have some farming hooligan upstaging the careful work me and the other heads have created!" Malon--couldn't be on pta because she almost murdered a karen with kindness--sweet and kind but can still kick ass--helped make and fix uniforms--acts as chaperone when needed and finds this all completely hilarious--she makes snacks with Wild for the meetings--has adopted all of these children--actively enforces Wind and Four to eat more because whY ARE ALL YALL SO TINY--can lift a cow "Don't talk to me or my husband or my son or my son or my eight fake sons or my lovely eight fake daughters ever again."

#linkeduniverse #linked universe #girl scouts #au #this is so stupid #but I love it #I just wanted to draw these idiots as girl scouts #Four is so done with karen's shit #Time being a dad #pta au #kinda #lu girlscout au #I wrote so much for four #I love him so much #please send help this idea came to me at 3 am #kyle waz here

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dzamie-oc · 4 years

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Smaugust 07 - Decay

A peaceful monk is ordered to "deal with" a dragon whose very presence is causing a swath of death and decay in the kingdom. He promises to do so, but does not wish to betray his nonviolent ways.

Darvos was transcribing a copy of his texts when the summons arrived. The king of the land had requested his presence, and further, his assistance. Although Darvos was well aware of his own skill with his staff, used only to protect and defend those who were unable to protect themselves, he could hardly guess why the king would want to see him. Nonetheless, a request from the king himself was not something someone would turn down if they knew what was good for them. During the trip to the capital, and castle within, Darvos tried convincing himself that the king was going to request that he travel the kingdom to further spread the word and teachings of his largely nonviolent beliefs to his fellow citizens. He failed miserably, and wound up nervous at what he would be instructed to do.

Every hall of the castle was lavish beyond Darvos's imagination. Huge, stained glass windows decorated every wall, impeccable carpets rolled from one end of the building to the other, and the parts of the walls not occupied by windows or doors were covered with long, ceiling-height banners, embroidered with the royal family crest, and masterfully detailed portraits of the king and his family. Darvos did his best not to stare as he saw in one glance more wealth than his order would allow to have among the lot of them. Finally, he was ushered into the throne room, where rows of knights, dressed all in bright, shining, golden and blue armor guarded the king on his extravagant seat. As he looked around, Darvos could see how the room had been designed to keep the throne - and the monarch seated upon it - at the perpetual center of focus.

"Darvos, is it not?" the king asked, rhetorically, "We have heard great tales of your deeds. Call you yourself a monk, then, or paladin?"

"Just a monk, sir," Darvos replied, before hastily appending, "Y-your Majesty."

"Very well, monk. You have proven yourself beyond capable at dealing with unsightly monsters." His head moved ever so slightly towards a man standing in attendance, holding a book. Although the king said nothing, nor did he move further, the man stepped forward and read aloud from the book.

"August 2nd, 19 KC. A flock of ferocious griffons ravaging the town of Hillshire were driven away by the actions of Darvos of the Order Nonpugil. No townsfolk bore witness to the deed, yet all affirmed he returned unscathed from the fight.

"March 17th, 20 KC. Frequent reports of nagas kidnapping travelers between Hillshire and Waterford ceased after Darvos of the Order Nonpugil ventured into the territory of the nagas. All but three victims - presumed dead - returned to their respective towns shortly after.

"September 9th, 20 KC. A sphinx, who prevented people from entering or leaving Hillshire regardless of their answers to her riddles, left or was removed after Darvos of the Order Nonpugil approached her. Regular trade resumed swiftly."

Darvos shifted uncomfortably. He had a suspicion as to why the events were recorded like that, and what sort of task the king was about to saddle him with. The bookkeeper continued for several more entries before the king silently signaled for him to stop. "Now then, Darvos," the king began, "We have called you here about a beast most foul in the north of Our kingdom. What information We have is merely rumor and educated guess, but for that it causes all within a growing radius to waste away and perish. The wasteland is expanding towards the people of this kingdom, and that is unforgivable and unadmissible." He fixed Darvos with a commanding stare. "As such, you, a fierce and experienced warrior against monsters, who defends humanity against such beasts, are tasked with eliminating this creature. The rumors which have been collected suggest this monster is a yellow dragon; however, all attempts to get close enough to confirm such have ended in failure."

There was a pause, and Darvos realized it was his turn to speak. "My practice discourages fighting when not necessary, and forbids killing," he started. The king's stare grew harder, and he could see and hear the armed guards tense, readying themselves for whatever he might command them to do. Darvos swallowed a lump and went on, "however, protecting my fellow beings is a noble task of the highest order, so if I must fight... I must fight. Either way, I will do all I can to stop the encroaching death."

The king's face softened into a smile. "Very good. You will have The Guard's arsenal at your disposal, should you wish to arm yourself for the task. And, of course, several magical draughts to resist the fiend's effects will be available."

Darvos nodded, then bowed. "Thank you, Your Majesty. I hope to not fail You or my fellow beings."

The monk spent the next week in preparation, trying to work out what he would do. He would not, of course, call out the king for having the wrong information on his deeds, especially not when he suspected doing so might get the king to send a warrior to kill the creature causing this. When he faced the griffons, he had merely convinced the town's hunters to refrain from stealing the flying creatures' eggs and poaching their young. After this, the cat-birds were perfectly content to live peacefully nearby. And again, when the snake people caused problems, they had been greatly slighted by horses and carts rumbling near and even over their dens, resulting in interruption and occasional injury. Only those who veered off the main, cleared pathway had been taken. With greater communication between the nagas and... well, Hillshire, at least (Waterford was less than eager to listen), and clear markings to mark the main road, the nagas were granted peace in their homes and travelers were granted peace of mind as they traveled. Except for the two who had been eaten, but Darvos could see no reason to increase the number of corpses for it.

And the story with the sphinx was similar, though unique. He hadn't sought to leave Hillshire; he merely asked for conversation. She spared him long enough to spend a very entertaining afternoon with her. One thing had led to another, and he soon found himself quite grateful - for his sake and for Hillshire's - that his vows did not include one of celibacy. She still visited him from time to time, although most encounters were largely to catch up on events and for her to test out riddles on the monk.

However, by the time the end of the week rolled around, and he was set to travel out, he was prepared. He had turned down offers of armor, of swords, and accepted only a staff. Even then, he intended to use it far more for walking than for fighting. Accompanied by a guard to protect him up until the wasteland, Darvos began the trip towards the northern edge of the kingdom. It was largely uneventful, and before he realized, he had reached the town being threatened with encroaching death. He disembarked and decided to find out what more the people of the town knew of the dragon.

Results were mixed.

"It's surely divine punishment for Vance and Doyle stealing each other's tools constantly, and arguing without stop!"

"Mom said it gets closer because some people in this town don't eat their vegetables! It can't be me, though, so the adults are screwing things up for the rest of us!"

"It coughs a lot. Maybe it forgot how to breathe fire?"

"Darryl suggested a virgin sacrifice like people in old stories please dragons. He dropped it when I suggested we use him for the sacrifice, of course."

"It's a mighty wizard dragon, concocting a spell to visit a plague across the entire world, until only it and other dragons and poison creatures are left!"

"It's as yellow as the sand it holes up in."

"Silzer used to grow flowers, you know. I suppose he's lost his green thumb, then."

Darvos did a double-take at that last one. The old woman smiled in kind remniscence. "Oh-ho, you doubt me, I'm sure. Well, I was barely even a woman when he left for good, but ol' Silzer used to be such a pleasant drake. Thinking back on him, he was far more patient with us little kids than he had any need to be." She sighed. "Oh, I hope he didn't go away and start doing this because of how we loved to climb his tail and hug his snout."

"I am... sorry to hear that, ma'am," the monk said, "er, would you happen to remember what sorts of things he used to eat before he left?"

She scrunched her face up in thought. "Oh, I'm not so clear on that. I never had to cook for him, you see, and seventy years is quite a long time back to recall. Perhaps fish? Fish and eggs, I think. Maybe the plants from his garden? That sounds like it might be right." The old woman squinted at him. "There were, and are, no humans in his diet, you hear? I know you come from the capital, and Silzar deserves better than getting beat up like a common thug!" The fire in her dimmed as she gazed to the north end of the town with a wistful look, saying, "at least, I hope you can save us and him, both. I've not seen him, myself, in several years."

Darvos placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled. "I do not believe fighting should be necessary in anything. Rest assured, ma'am, ending that dragon's - Silzar's - life is not even on my mind."

She smiled back. "In that case, young sir, I wish you the absolute best of luck."

"Glad to hear it." He turned to leave, but before doing so, looked back at her. "Say, would there happen to be an apothecary, or alchemist, in this town? I have a rather special request for them."

Hardly an hour later, he walked to the north edge of town, package from the alchemist in his hand. He and the guard uncorked the rot-resisting potions from the capital, downing their respective doses. As they stepped into the dead lands, Darvos looked at the trained warrior. "If you would, please stay back while I deal with Sil- with the dragon. If I am successful, I will not need your aid, and if I fail, it is better that you are able to escape and tell the king of what happened." He received only a stiff nod in response.

After some walking, a sizable mound in the barren soil appeared, with a hole in the side well large enough to fit a young adult dragon through. "Here should be fine, if you do not mind," Darvos said to the guard, who took a few more steps before visibly coming to a stop. "Thank you," he said with honest gratitude, and he steeled himself and strode up to the entrance.

"Dragon? Silzer? I am Darvos, seeking to help. Will you come and talk?"

"Simply to talk? My every breath is death; I kill the very soil I stand on," a deep, rattling voice echoed from within, "what do you hope to gain from a talk? If you have come for a fight, I will not drag myself out for one; if you are true for a talk, come and face me in my domain."

Darvos took his second dose of the potion, in case his first grew weak in the dragon's home. "Very well, Silzer. I hope to gain nothing, but I believe what I carry with me will help you regain a friendship and forge new ones, and a town will be freed of an unnatural clock over their lives." He walked into the hole, quickly finding himself in the dark. "My heartfelt apologies if I am clumsy and run into you; I have not the keen eyesight of a dragon."

A jet of flame shoots through the air in front of him, lighting a solitary torch between him and a large, yellow-scaled dragon. His teeth had dulled and yellowed, too, over the years of isolation, and while Darvos was no expert on dragons, he could not call the dragon's tired features "healthy." Silzar, he sensed, was also looking him over, as if to see what fancy weaponry he had snuck in to brave a dragon's cave unassisted. "Truthful, foolish, or beyond skilled," Silzar remarked, "now, you mentioned carrying something with you. What would you present to me?"

"Ah, I'm afraid there is no fully polite way to ask this," Darvos said as he reached into the bag from the alchemist, withdrawing two of the tablets within, "but would you care for a breath mint?"

Two days later, the king's book had a new entry in it. "August 7, 23 KC. A plague of death and rot in the northern lands, brought about by a dragon, wass put to end when Darvos of the Order Nonpugil faced the dragon alone."

#text #dragon #smaugust #smaugust 2020 #writers on tumblr #writing

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blackcatanna · 4 years

Text

Tales of the Reluctant Kazama Bitch Part 2: Edo Blossoms!

We left our would-be heroine galloping across the country, desperately clinging to the man who's repeatedly threatened to kidnap and impregnate her. However, all of this ickyness is forgotten in the face of a greater threat: her creepy brother and stepdad, who want to turn everyone into shitty vampires.

Chapter 1:

*Sadly scrolls past superior men to get to Kazama's portrait* :'(

If this route contains plenty of free Sen and Kimigiku, I will be less mad at it.

Wait, when you say, "abandon our horse" you are gonna come back for it, right?! RIGHT?!!? O_O

A deserted house, huh? Seems like a great place to have a nap and totally not get murdered by the spirits of the restless undead.

And, of course, Kazama just HAS to take a minute to be a bougie bitch, "Hmph. I would sooner call this a hut than a house."

"Just shut up, and sit tight." Classic Kazama.

Kazama going on about "The destructive force of humans" again -_- Pot kettle black. Bitch.

Wow, the Yukimura clan helped Tokugawa Ieyasu "usurp control of the country with military force." In my head, this takes place in the same universe as the Samurai Warriors series X_X

"You take me for some boorish creep, don't you?" Yes.

"I shall not lay a finger upon you until our marriage is finalized." That's great, provided that I get a say in whether or not we get married!

Amagiri is being helpful and practical and Kazama is just being extremely rude, stubborn and idiotic. X_X

"You'd better not bitch at all, got it?" Um, Kazama, you're the one who bitches about everything. Not me.

"The thought of Kazama rescuing me stood at odds with the initial impression I'd had of him as a crude, sadistic warrior who hated the Shinsengumi." Um, why can't he be all of those things? Just because he's a dick doesn't mean that he's going to let his precious brood mare fall off a cliff!

HAND HOLDING ALERT! THE ORGASMETER IS GOING WILD!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT INITIATED!

Hold up, female demons all have the same stamina as normal humans but males get superhuman endurance?! This is so unfair! -_-

Chapter 2:

Guess I'll never see my beloved Shinsen-gummies again :'(

Here goes Kazama again, shitting on the Shinsengumi for risking their lives because he can't comprehend the idea of anything being worth risking his own precious life.

"Kazama dismissed the Shinsengumi to a degree that I could only describe as willful ignorance." YES GIRL. GET HIM. "I had never met anyone so incapable of empathy." Most sociopaths find it advantageous to at least pretend to empathise with people. I guess when you're an all-powerful demon price, such precautions are needless.

Ooh! Can I please stay at the Shinsengumi's headquarters!

OH SO NOW MY OPINIONS ARE ASININE?!??!!! I THOUGHT THAT THIS HO AGREED WITH ME THAT FURIES ARE BAD!?

Wait, so now I don't want Kazama to kill my family of creeps? Y tho? I love my family but I still wouldn't let them commit stupid genocide. I guess she really believes that she can reason with them. We'll see how that works out.

I am enjoying this slice of Kodo backstory to hammer home how far he has fallen.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! SO, IN THIS ROUTE, KAZAMA HATES HIM SO HE CAN'T PIMP ME OUT TO KAZAMA SO HE WANTS ME TO "MATE WITH" THE FURIES INSTEAD!??!? WTF!?!!

"Bitter, senile idiot" For once, Kazama is right.

Did Kodo just throw me at Kazama?! Stepdad of the year.

"Perhaps I'm being forward, but I see in you the virtues befitting the leader of the Yukimura clan." Stop, stop. My penis can only get so erect.

"You will feel better watching me peel the flesh from their bones with the swing of my sword." O_O Is this Game of Thrones now? Uh, thanks, I guess, for those words of, uh? Comfort?! What girl doesn't want to watch a guy dismember her family!?

Awe, tiny Chizuru's village burning memory :'( My heart! :'(

Shiranui "plopping" himself on the floor is a big mood :')

Nooo! The Shogunate is feeding the Shinsengumi to the furies?! :'(

Spider Kaoru being weird and creepy (literally) as usual.

Ugh, I thought we'd agreed to murder the fam?

Ooh! This house has pretty wallpaper!

Why couldn't Kaoru just live with me and Kodo for all those years?! Did Kodo just hand him over to those abusive fucks because he couldn't be bothered to raise a child who didn't have a precious vagina?

I love the scuttling sound that the minions make when they assemble! :')

Turns out, even Amagiri can't punch a fury to death X_X

DING DONG THE BITCH IS DEAD. Kodo just went so, so evil o_e

I've stopped listening to Kazama whenever he goes off on one of his rants about how all humans suck and are to blame for all of our problems -_-

When the nice music started playing, I expect to see someone I actually liked but it was just Kazama in a new outfit.

CALM DOWN, YOU THIRSTY WENCH! IT'S JUST A NEW OUTFIT X_X

"Quit wallowing in your self-pity for once." Wisdom?! From Kazama?!

"Do you remember the Shinsengumi captain named 'Harada'?" O_O Yes. What happened to him?! IS HE OKAY?!?? DID YOU KILL HIM!!!?!!!!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :'( :'( :'( </3

And so it begins. Hanging out with these fuckers while watching everyone I love die from afar </3

Awe, Shiranui and Harada became buddies <3 and now Shiranui blames his bad luck for Harada's death. :'( It's not your fault, Shiranui D'X

Kazama: "No time for tears." BEGONE, THOT. :'(

Chapter 3:

Bad news, huh? Bad news for me or for you, Kazama? >:(

*Winces in anticipation of more dead Shinsengumi members*

RIP Kondou. You were too wholesome for this cruel world :'(

Welp, looks like I'm chasing my beloved ho's across the country :D

Oh, Kazama thinks that I'm joking about trying to reunite with my long lost friends. You don't KNOOOW me!

"Harada, who was ripped to shreds at Ueno. No one's patting him on the back for dying like a wounded animal." LET ME AT THIS EVIL CUNT!!! HOW DARE HE!!! I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FRIENDS AGAIN!!!! DO YOU NOT POSSESS AN OUNCE OF RESPECT, OR TACT, AT THE VERY LEAST!?!!?

"All they'll ever be is a footnote in the annals of history. Their legacy is being spat on." "Kazama made a lot of sense." BITCH WHERE!!!????!

"I knew women were whimsied by delusion, but you are sitting at the top of the pile." -_- Are all demons this sexist?! I don't think I want to hang out with other demons anymore.

"You should go after him." Amagiri, why?! -_- I don't wanna! Let him stew in his own miserable juices.

He looks like a disgruntled cat.

OH, BITCH EXPECTED ME TO FOLLOW HIM. I should never have listened to Amagiri. He has no eyebrows.

We're in my burned out village, aren't we? :'(

OMG KAORU'S DEAD BODY IS RIGHT THERE O_O

"Why are you crying?" REALLY?!???!

This is v sad :'(

OH CAN YOU SHUT UP ABOUT HOW THE HUMANS ARE TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING FOR FIVE MINUTES WHILE WE BURY MY BROTHER, WHOM YOU LITERALLY MURDERED. IF YOUR SO POWERFUL, WHY CAN YOU ONLY KILL?! YOU ONLY SAVED ME FOR YOUR OWN DISGUSTING PURPOSES. IF YOU TRULY SAW KAORU'S POTENTIAL TO BE A FINE LEADER, WHY WERE YOU SO QUICK TO KILL HIM?!? HUH!??! D'X

"He died just as he lived--alone" :'(

Kodo absolutely needed a good killing but I believe that Kaoru was redeemable. :'(

WHY ARE YOU ASKING HIS PERMISSION TO REMEMBER YOUR FAMILY THE WAY YOU CHOOSE!?!

"It was never my intention to reveal the history of the Yukimura clan to you." BITCH, WHO ARE YOU TO DENY ME THE HISTORY OF MY OWN CLAN?! >:(

"Impatience is unbecoming" Oh no, heaven forbid you lose interest in me! Not that that would ever happen to this thirsty whore.

"Obedience is a good look on you. You are well on your way to becoming the ideal life." LISTEN HERE YOU SMUG PRICK!!!!!! I WILL DIE BEFORE I EVEN CONSIDER THAT REVOLTING POSSIBILITY!!!!

Here we go, time for an orgy of sadness, courtesy of Amagiri! :(

"Okita has passed away from illness." Not surprising but very, very sad :'( Poor Okita, slowly wasting away while his world falls apart around him </3

Saito's MIA, which doesn't look good but, historically, he was fine so I can handle that, I guess O_O If he is confirmed dead later, imma be real mad. AND SAD. D'X

Nagakura is also MIA?! Big sad </3 I bet that Kazama is secretly loving this >:(

HEISUKE AND SANAN ARE FULLY DEAD!!?? D'X NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This is too much sad. FFS, KAZAMA, YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME SEE MY FRIENDS BEFORE THEY WERE ALL KILLED, YOU HEARTLESS WENCH! WAS YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG TO JUST WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE I CARED ABOUT WAD DEAD SO THAT I'D HAVE TO CLING TO YOU!?

"What about the others?" WHAT OTHERS?! Hijikata, Souma, Nomura? Is that it?! My family is DEAD, my friends are DEAD. Kazama doesn't see that as a problem because my fertile body is still intact but MY HEART IS BROKEN D"X

"That little dog's still got some bite, eh?" SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP.

"Everyone's still putting up a fight, huh" Well, not everyone. Most people are dead but, uh, good on you for seeing this as a glass half full...

Ugh, why does Kazama have to come with me to Ezo?

STOCKHOLM SYNDROME STRIKES AGAIN.

Aaaawwweee Shiranui brought me Harada's spear D'X

Shiranui is so much better and kinder than Kazama :'(

HOW CAN KAZAMA GO THROUGH LIFE BEING SUCH A CUNT AND SCOFFING AT EVERYONE'S SINCERE BELIEFS. No wonder even his allies hate him.

Shiranui, stop with the kind, heartfelt words! You're making me cry D'X

"Shiranui was nowhere near as bad as Kazama" Truth.

"Isn't this just another worm you've let crawl into your insipid heart?" Wow, this route is actually making me like Kazama LESS.

Sendai is pretty.

WE MISSED THEM AGAIN?!!? NOW I'M STUCK ALONE WITH THIS ASSHOLE AGAIN!?!?

Wow, this CG is telling. Chizuru crying against Kazama's turned back.

Chapter 4:

Well, at least I get to stay in a mansion while I cry over my dead friends and family.

Omg, I'm basically Kazama's housewife X_X

Kazama's in a bad mood, huh? Did Hijikata die before Kazama could fulfill his promise to me? Useless man.

OMG, HE REALLY HAS MADE ME HIS WENCH!!! NO!!! DON'T FETCH HIM THE SAKE!!!!

"Fetch me a bottle at once." "I'm only going to grab you one, okay...? Drinking too much isn't good for your health." I'M DEFINITELY HIS WIFE!!! HELP!!!! HIW CAN I WAKE FROM THIS NIGHTMARE??!!

"Sake is more of a medicine than a poison, and as you've noticed, I'm ill. Make it three bottles." Aaaand my husband's an alcoholic X_X

"Hey, don't take your frustrations out on me. Also, it's only a 'medicine' when you drink in moderation--not when you're piss drunk." Yaass Chizuru! You tell that edgy thot!

"Humility is a more attractive colour on you. From now on, feel free to humble yourself by complimenting me however much you deem fit." That would be never. I cannot with This Bitch. Eat shit and die, Kazama.

Okay, now things are really sad. Still chasing my friends as they fight against all the odds D'X

Aaaaaah, the tension is killing me! This is going to be horrible D'X

SHIMADA AND SOUMA ARE ALIVE!!!

"I'm going to kill each and every one of you impotent bastards until there's none left. See you in Hell!" :') I've missed Hijikata!

WHY AM I CHASTISING SOUMA FOR STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF AGAINST KAZAMA!?

Oh great, now we're hunting for Hijikata's corpse. SADNESS INTENSIFIES.

"What about you, girl...?" First of all, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Secondly, the way he addressed me reminds me of my brother XD

ER MAH GERD!!! HE IZ KISSING MEH!!! O_O

"Although I'd wanted to scream, I couldn't." O_e Tha fuck?!?

WITH TONGUE!!!

Final Chapter:

Please let me not be married to Kazama X_X

"I was alone" Good start.

"This incessant urge to clean" Can't relate.

"Sadly, my father passed away." XD

Yaaaas become a doctor! You don't need no man!

However, tell me more about this cute medicine clerk ;)

Speak of the demon X_X

When you get sick of kindly old ladies telling you to find a man so you settle for some dickhead edgelord X_X

"He was his usual, callous self." Husband material X_X

Wait, I've been all alone all this time?! What about Sen?!? Why can I not have friends? :'(

"I've come to claim you." BITCH, I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT (BUT VERY SAD AND LONELY) WOMAN!

"I will tolerate no resistance" O_O

"Kazama might have been a pain, but he was my pain" Uh, okay XD

So, I guess I do marry Kazama purely because he's the only person left alive who knows what I went through X_X . At least Chizuru developed... Not a backbone but... Almost a backbone. Maybe X_X I'm sure that Chizuru will make a lovely stepford wife but that make me kind of sad -_-

#hakuoki #hakuouki #kazama chikage #edo blossoms #i need to sleep #accidental wife #i still hate him #so many words #watch me cry over anime men

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wolfhednn · 4 years

Text

— character chart pt. 5

the fifth installment!

PRESENT ( for the purposes of toa, this will also include timeskip where applicable )

CURRENT LOCATION garreg mach monastery. he spends the large majority of his time in the lower grounds, rarely — if ever — venturing up to the cathedral unless required to. generally speaking, he wears out the same paths between his room, the dining hall, his classroom, and the training grounds. finding him anywhere else is something of a rarity unless he’s been assigned chores. when in doubt, look in the training grounds.

AM — duke felix fraldarius. spends his time at glasagwyn if he’s not needed somewhere else. CF — uhhh. dead. VW / SS — can see it going either duke ending or mercenary ending due to how i’ve set up my verses, canon be damned. in the latter case, likely to be found wherever there’s fighting happening.

CURRENTLY LIVING WITH the other students at the academy. otherwise, on his own ( with glasagwyn staff, as duke ) for the most part.

PETS none currently.

duke felix fraldarius loosely cares for about a dozen cats in and around his estate ( most of them are directly tended to by the servants ). at any given time, however, usually one or two of those are his cats, who he handles entirely himself. ( his favorite, if you will. ) meeko, a big fluffy tabby who definitely has norwegian forest in her, is the most prominent of these. though he wouldn’t consider them pets, the estate also manages a retinue of horses and pegasi. his wartime pegasus, kyphon, is enjoying a well-earned retirement, and his current war pegasus is named sainglend.

RELIGION as ambivalent about it as ever, in timeskip, felix attends to religious duties as is required of the duke fraldarius, but not generally beyond that. he’s criticized by some for being notably less pious than his father was, given faerghus’ strongly faithful culture, but his generation tends to share that quality overall, so it’s mostly the older advisors who frown at him for it. he doesn’t shirk his duties, however, so nobody can really get on him for doing exactly as much as is needed.

OCCUPATION student, duke fraldarius, or mercenary, depending on which verse we’re looking at.

FINANCES well off. he’s never struggled with finances, even taking into account faerghus’ comparative lack of resources. fraldarius has always been one of the most affluent territories in the kingdom. felix is also very good at handling money and surprisingly adept at state management, strategic at allocating both funds and efforts. his more domestically-focused and, at times, aggressive policies in comparison to those of his father often pay off, and the territory ( canonically ) sees restoration and prosperity under his governance.

FAMILY

MOTHER ghislaine alys fraldarius

RELATIONSHIP WITH HER his mother died shortly after he turned three, and so felix doesn’t have any memories of her. aside from paintings, he doesn’t recall what she looks like. rodrigue has mentioned her sparingly over the years, but has never talked about her in depth with felix, and their relationship soured too early for felix to have asked since. once or twice, he’d asked glenn about her, to which glenn offered some memories and a bit of insight into what kind of person she had been, but they were little more than isolated snapshots and impressions, since he was nine when she died.

FATHER rodrigue achille fraldarius

RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM clearly, not great. felix’s relationship with rodrigue is highly complex. he grew up admiring and loving him, but seeing him largely as a firm, though warm, authority figure. he figured he was indomitable, and to an extent still unconsciously views him as such. obviously, their relationship is very strained currently, and continues to be into timeskip. if asked, felix will only admit to it coming down to an irreconciliable difference in values and leave it at that.

in reality, there’s a lot more to it, including resentment born from abandonment in the wake of the tragedy of duscur. i do headcanon that, in his preoccupation with his promise to lambert ( and also because of the stress of his deteriorating relationship with felix ), rodrigue was more of a father to dimitri post-duscur than he was to felix. i also headcanon that glenn was always, however subconsciously and unintentionally, his favored child, and he began to scold felix by constantly comparing him to his brother. this continues into present day during the academy years. it doesn’t help, though, that felix also lets his resentment color all his interactions with his father rather than attempting to seek any kind of reconciliation.

there’s also that tasty line from rodrigue in AM in the late-night scene with byleth:

After [the tragedy of duscur] happened, I said something horrible to Felix. He’s hated me ever since... and I don’t blame him.

the game never tells us what this was, and i have thoughts... but they’re sikrit hehehehe...

SIBLINGS glenn leo fraldarius, older brother ( deceased )

RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM very close. as i’ve mentioned before, glenn was felix’s hero growing up, as he was for many others. but more than that, he was an older brother who read to him almost every night, joked around him with all the time, taught him how to fight, and whose actions and words have influenced most of felix’s beliefs and identity. he always knew he could rely on glenn dropping everything unquestioningly to be there for him if he needed it. now that he’s older, he definitely recognizes where glenn’s flaws were, but that doesn’t change that he was the single most foundational person in his life, and that they shared an incredibly close bond despite the 6 year age difference.

SPOUSE sylvain jose gautier fdgsjdkjfh did we ever decide if they were actually going to make it official or not??

RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM in the absence of anything canon, and for the sake of toa-canon, we’re going to put sylvain here LKMKJDH. their dynamic should already be self-explanatory haha glance at any of our 87342 threads... cat and dog romance. sylvain is Whipped for that fraldarius. felix will die before he admits that he’s fond of sylvain and wouldn’t trade him for the world. ( he’s mad at me already for typing that. ) i’ll throw this here as the perfect depiction of their life before running away from my muse.

CHILDREN none technically

RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM felix has no interest in having kids and never pursues any of his own, whether biological or adoptive. as he gets into his later years, however, and concern about inheritance mounts in the absence of any known relatives, felix goes in search of someone, regardless of bloodline or social class, who upholds the tenets of what it means to be a fraldarius, and inducts them formally as the heir to his house ( sort of a la ashe ). it’s a highly controversial move, but felix remains steadfast in his stance in the face of any opposition. though he initially intends for his relationship with the child ( who would likely be older, around 8-13 ) to be strictly that of a duke and his successor, he eventually can’t help himself from becoming something of a parent to them anyway.

OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS he considers every one of those ~dozen cats to be family and would unhesitatingly run back into a burning glasagwyn to rescue any of them, much to the horror of his retainers.

#▐ ⊰ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ ᴀᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ⊱ meta.#this is officially farther than i ever got on leif #success..........#. ⊰ ❛ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ ᴀᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ⊱ * meta — ✘#. ⊰ ❛ ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ sʜᴀʟʟ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ sɪʟᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴀᴠᴇ ⊱ * meta — ✘#. ⊰ ❛ ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀs ᴛʜᴇ sɪʟᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʙʀᴀᴠᴇ ⊱ * meta — ✘

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missblissy · 5 years

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Hmmmm more Young!Arthur and Young!John headcanons + the gang

There is a lot so I put them under a cut!! (Like!! It’s a lot!! This post is long!!)

Please note!! I have looked up the years of how old John and Arthur are in, so their ages are canon for the years! John joined the gang when he was 12 years old in 1885 when Arthur was 22 years old. Arthur is canonly 10 years older than John. Arthur joined the gang in 1878 when he 15 years old, 4 years yearly in 1874, his father was arrested for larceny when he was 11 years old.

These headcanons take place between 1885 and 1888.

John’s first pet was a stray cat. Dutch wasn’t too happy about it but he just couldn’t say no to John. The cat looked like it went through hell and back, black and poofy with hair knots littering its body. He was a gray and black cat and John named him “Ricky” after his favorite gunslinger Landon Ricketts

Dutch would spend a lot of time outside the gang life with both Arthur and John. He’d take them for rides around the county, teaching them about the world around them and the life that was given to them. This is when he did most of his teachings.

He’d take them to some river and say, “This river here is just like us. It’s naturally unnatural. Constantly changing, constantly moving, and never letting up. It’s got one goal in mind and that's to make it to the open ocean. If something gets in its way, it just carves a new path. It violently breaks down the earth and rocks under it, turning them to sand. Just like us, we are running, flowing, seeking a place hundreds of miles away and breaking down the things in our path to get them,” Dutch would lead them further down to a calmer part of the river, “But we are still kind. We are still calm, and we can take our time getting to our goals. There are times that call for violence in it’s rawest form, but we -just live the river- are not meant to always rush ourselves. We have to remember, even in the hardest loudest and violent times in our lives, there is always smoother water to sail afterward.”

Dutch had a strange way of always taking the natural events of the word and tying them into their outlaw morals. He prided himself on being an outlaw with “fans” as if he was some kind of king of the west. However, lurking down inside him, there was something dark, hungry, envious and overpowering that called for more, more, more. Someday he’d start losing the fight of the battle of his own mind.

Hosea, on the other hand, tried to teach John and Arthur with books, schooling, math, and numbers. If Hosea was good at anything, it was numbers. He taught the boys how to count money, cards, bonds, and he taught them how to do it almost as good as him.

He tried his best to also teach them how to stay calm in situations that caused fear and panic. His golden rule and biggest moral were, “You can talk yourself out of any situation,” That was a firm belief of his because there had never been a situation he couldn’t smooth talk he way out of.

The first heist that they took John on was a stagecoach robbery. He was 14 years old and had been with the gang for 2 years now, it was 1887 (Arthur was 24 at the time very much in love with MIss Mary, he even gave her a ring) and now finally he could go with them! No more doing chores with Grimshaw, no more reading books! No drunk Uncle pestering him!

He hadn’t had his own horse yet, but that was fine. He was going to be used as bait. A stagecoach filled with money was traveling through and John was going to be the boy who cried wolf, distracting the drivers while Hosea, Dutch, and Arthur did their jobs.

It went as well as they hoped it did. John pretended to be a boy bitten by a snake while the drivers jumped off and helped him. Arthur and Dutch took the drivers by the surprised and knocked them out with the blunt end of their guns. Hosea cracked open the door to the coach and they took about four grand worth of money. It was by far one of their most profitable heists. Quiet, unseen, quick, and big profit.

From then on, until the last few months of John being 15, when he looked more like a young man than a helpless teen, he did his role as a lost boy. The year was 1888, and there was a massive train with plenty of wealthy men and woman riding to New York. This mission didn’t go very good. In fact, it was almost a disaster and they all nearly got away with their lives.

The Tip that Arthur got was half true and half wrong. It was right about the amount of money and valuables on the train, but deeply and horribly wrong about the number of guards on this train and hired gunmen. There was even lawmen on that train, and the tip said nothing about that.

This was the first time Arthur had ever experience being this close to death. They got as far as the luggage cart, getting bags worth of money and personal items. But once they got to the passenger cars... all hell broke loose.

Arthur had the shit beaten out of him in a fist fight with a guard, then shot twice by a lawman. John got thrown off the train and broke his arm on the fall. Hosea got arrested but escaped and fled back for John, though it was hard being cuffed and doing so. Dutch had to shoot as many of the lawmen, hired guns and guards as he could and he had to do it fast. Every second he was fighting them was a second Arthur was laying there and bleeding out. He got shot in the in his stomach, but thankful no were near his gut, it was off to his side and went straight through. The other shot was in his thigh, and the bullet was logged in there and he could feel it every time the passenger car moved.

Dutch was able to fend them off enough and leave all their bags of profit behind. He had to throw Arthur off the train and himself too. He did it just in time to be thrown into a calm river that opened into a massive lake. He had to drag Arthur out of the water, which was fine because Arthur could still swim and float -it was just extremely painful.

After they all go back to their camp.... Marry was there waiting and saw what had happened to Arthur. She couldn’t take this anymore. He had lied to her and told her he was just “going on a trip with Dutch and them.” He never said he was going to rob a train and he had no idea how much a shit show it was going to be.

She told him, while he was laying there getting a bullet taken out of his leg, she told him she was leaving him, and that her father had set arrangments for her to met another man. She had cried saying it, and she couldn’t stand to see the mess Arthur had made himself, and she couldn’t take seeing him dying there.

She was almost certain he wasn’t going to make it. His face was broken and bloody, his nose was beyond repair. He had cuts and open wounds all over his arms alongside deep black and purple bruises. His right side was torn up with a hole that went clean through is back, leaking blood even as they cauterized it and covered it with alcohol cotton and bandages. His leg was the worst. The bullet was deep in there, stuck in the dense muscle fibers. They really had to dig in there to find it, when they pulled it out an artery in his leg spurted open gushed blood everywhere.

Arthur eventually passed out from the pain and all the whiskey he kept drinking. When he woke up, Marry wasn’t there and he could barely remember what happened. All he remembered is she said she wasn't coming back. It was Susan, who was the one who fixed him up and took out his bullet, that remembered everything Mary said (Only because she was outraged by it) and told Arthur.

He fell into a great depression after that. He couldn’t walk, he was broken but alive, sore and healing. It took 2 weeks of bed rest before he could move again. Those two weeks were the worst days of his entire life.

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taergalive · 5 years

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Okay I filled out that character thingy I reblogged

It’s a little unreasonable for everyone in a Middle Ages-esque fantasy to be perfectly literate, and writing with quills was considered legitimate labor! How well can your oc read and/or write? How detailed is their quest log/journal, if they keep one at all? Imogen took to reading quite readily. She can read high level material and is well read. Her vocabulary is decent. Her journal is fairly detailed, though mostly just emotions shes feeling. Kalo has dyslexia, so reading can be tricky for him. He would rather read novels than textbooks, but it takes him a while to get through a book. He doesn't keep a journal at all. He just reads his sister's. How educated is your oc? Did their parents teach them, did they have a tutor or were they apprenticed to a master, or did they attend a university? What university? What are they educated in? How long did their education take? (Learned skills like blacksmithing count here too!) Imogen had tutors, and when she was old enough, she attended the Arcane University to study Conjuration and Mysticism. She will never consider herself good enough to stop learning. Even with the war going on, Imogen makes it a point to visit the Mages Guild to keep up with her studies. She also studies history and linguistics. Kalo had tutors, but the war interrupted his studies. Behind his father's back, he took up swordplay, and he continues to practice. He is over confident in his skills, though he picks up how to fight rather naturally. Does your oc have any kind of crafting skills that either aren’t in-game or don’t have as much importance in-game as they would in real life? (For example, can your oc sew or weave, etc? Are they skilled in any kind of art? Can they make jewelry or work glass? Are they musicians? etc) Imogen can sew, but not very well. Enough to patch holes. She learned to sing when she was younger, but she's too shy to ever do it in public. Kalo is really good at making makeshift tools. Give him some sticks and some string and he's good. What pantheon does your oc worship? If they worship the Cyrodiilic/Imperial pantheon, does that include Talos? If they secretly worship Talos, how do they justify hiding it? How religious is your oc? Do they come into conflict with others over their beliefs? If their patron deity told them to do something extremely undesirable or against their moral compass, would they do it? Most iterations of Imogen worship the Daedra, but this one is fairly dedicated to Akatosh and Mara. She, however, questions her beliefs often and feels conflicted. Her mother was the head of a cult that worshipped Sanguine. It makes her wonder if Daedra are bad. would be tempted by Hermaeus Mora. But she holds to her moral compass. Kalo is agnostic. Mostly doesn't care about gods or things like that. Never really paid attention to it. But shows interest in some of the Daedra, much to his sister's dismay. Does your oc have a family of origin? How many members of their FoO are still living? Do they have a good relationship? How much contact does your oc have with their FoO? How in-the-loop is your oc’s FoO about your oc’s being Dragonborn/HoK/Nerevarine? Well, Immy and Kalo are siblings. Their father is still alive but they are not sure where in the world he is because of the war. Haven't seen him since they fled to Glenumbra. Imogen never felt like she met her father's expectations. While he has a hard time showing it, though, her father does care for her. He tends to be colder towards Kalo, as he isn't convinced the boy is his. Kalo tried to hide the fact he was the Vestige to Imogen. He didn't want her to know that he was soulless because she would have blamed herself. He's bad at keeping secrets though. What social class was your oc born into? Did they change classes at all? How?How politically active is your oc? Are they obviously influential, or is their influence more subtle? Mildly high. Niece and nephew of the Count of Leyawiin. Imogen tries to be politically active, but her emotions run too high. Kalo thinks politics are a waste of time. Especially now with the war. Blames political agendas on it. What unplayable faction would/did your oc join, if any? Why? I'm still mad I can't be loyal to the empire... How trustworthy is your oc? Would they ever change opposing factions? Both are trustworthy. If they promise something, they mean it. Imogen is fiercely loyal to the empire, though meeting those outside of Cyrodiil makes her question it. She is learning that the empire might not be as good as she believes. Kalo is loyal to individual people. He allies himself with those he considers good. What is your oc’s main source of income, if they have one besides plundering tombs and adventuring? If they’re mercenaries, are they part of a company? Does your oc own their own business, and if so, what is it?Is your oc good with finances? Bartering? How long can they keep the money they make? As the two take refuge in Glenumbra, they have no connections and no money. Imogen takes up odd jobs as a maid, scribe, bar wench, whatever to get by. Kalo takes odd jobs for people in town, which is how he gets roped into becoming the Vestige in the first place. Does your oc have any particular rivalry or mutual dislike with any NPC?How well-liked is your oc? What is their reputation, if they’re well-known? Are they simply liked/disliked, or are they respected but feared, or personally liked but not taken seriously, etc? Do major factions consider your oc an important player? Imogen, surprisingly, has reservations on most of the NPCs you deal with in ESO lol. She doesn't trust anyone with the war going on. This makes her come off as cold, which probably makes her hard to get along with. She forms a small bond with King Emeric for helping out alongside Kalo (and for being the one to kill Septima oops). She sort of treats him as a father figure. Kalo is definitely personally liked but not taken seriously by most people. He's young and reckless. But damn if he isn't loyal. I'd say the Covenant likes him for helping out. Does your oc have a horse/other mount? A pet? How did they get this animal? If they were given the animal, do they have the money to maintain it? How careful/careless are they with their animal? What do they do with their pets while adventuring, especially on dangerous quests? Imogen has a shadow horse she conjures up. His name is Auferte. She has a stone that she uses to summon him. Kalo doesn't have any pets but he would love a dog. Or a cat. Or anything really. Imogen won't let him. She doesn't trust him. Does your oc take their time as they travel, or are they purposeful? How do they survive in the wilds, especially if they aren’t hunter-types? How dependent is your oc on civilized society? Imogen is purposeful; she feels like she's on a timer. Kalo takes his time unless he is on a mission. Imogen relies on her magic to protect her, and she doesn't do well outdoors. Gets tired easily. Kalo seems to be an endless bout of energy. What does your oc like to eat? How much food do they eat? Can your oc cook, and can they do it well? Kalo eats like Goku from DBZ. Like dear god. Loves potatoes, meat, and bread mostly. Imogen eats like a bird, sort of picks at her food. Enjoys sweeter things like fruits...and actual sweets. Kalo can roast things over a fire. Imogen can't cook. It was not a skill she was taught, though now she's forced to learn to provide for herself and Kalo. She's okay at it, but she gets nervous while she cooks. Makes a mess. If your oc is a vampire, do they go outside in the daytime? Does the daylight affect or hurt them in any way different from in-game? If they interact with society, how do they justify looking half-dead and hating sunlight? How good is your oc at blending in? Do they even like dealing with society?If your oc is a werebeast, how much control do they have over their transformations? Have they ever lost control? What happened? If not, why do they have such strong control? Does Hircine ever call on them, and do they answer? NA What does your oc wear in the city/settlements? In the house? When travelling, but not adventuring or expecting combat? Do they vary their clothes depending on what hold/city they’re in? If they don’t, why not (e.g., if your oc wears the same outfit to tend their garden or lounge around the house as they did to meet Ulfric or Elisif, why?) Does your oc have a good or bad sense of fashion? How many clothes does your oc have?How picky is your oc about their gear? Do they have different equipment for different adventures, or is it the same suit of armor for everything (not counting upgrades like from steel to ebony)? How does your oc acquire their clothes, and from where/whom? While Imogen works in Glenumbra, she tends to dress the part. But once she joins in on the adventure she wears more Cyrodiilic clothing. Typically a tunic and tights. The sandals man. No matter what, she wears the sapphire circlet her mother gave her before passing away. She panics if she can't find it. She sold any other jewelry she had with her after they fled Cyrodiil. Occasionally, Imogen will wear Imperial armor. But that is rare. Kalo dresses to match the domain. Not so much because he wants to but because he tends to destroy whatever he is wearing. As far as armor goes, he travels light. Prefers leathers to protect him. Can your oc swim, and how well? Have they ever swam in the ocean, or only lakes/rivers? Remember, it’s much harder to swim in the ocean than in a lake! If your oc is an Argonian, do they take special advantage of it somehow (e.g., do they go diving for fun/for profit, do they instinctively hide in the water, etc)? If your oc is a Khajiit who can swim, how do they get their fur dry? Imogen has always felt a connection to water. She loves to swim in lakes and rivers. Kalo, surprisingly, is afraid of water (though he denies it). Poor dude can't swim. How easy/difficult is it to rob your oc? Pickpocket? Bribe? If your oc is part of one of the more morally questionable or outright evil factions, how do they justify it to themselves? Do they still consider themselves as morally good? How well known is their affiliation to these groups? Do they have separate personas (e.g. Dragonborn to some people, Listener to others)? Do their family/friends know? If they have separate personas, how do they keep their less than righteous activities secret? Imma be honest I'm tired and cant think for this one lol How helpful is your oc, and why? Are they helpful or kind even during difficult situations? Are they pragmatic, or do they have a hero syndrome? Kalo has hero syndrome. Imogen, while she considers herself a good person, has trouble agreeing to help others. Again, she is too cautious. Thinks people have ulterior motives. Will help those she cares about in a heartbeat

#Animal kingdom made me sick so I'm chilling in the hotel #Imogen the Imperial #Kalo the Imperial #ESO #Elder Scrolls

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phoebus-de-chateaupers-blog · 6 years

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Phoebus de Chateaupers – Character Sheet

oh, some evil spirit, oh, some evil this way comes / they told me how they fear it / now they're placing it on their tongues / for to see it with my own eyes / for to see it with my own eyes / no food or water for the better part of ten months

quietly he sat between the folds of a tree trunk / for to see it with my own eyes / for to see it with my own eyes / all the men of faith and men of science had their questions / could it ever be on earth as it is in heaven? / for to see it with my own eyes / for to see it with my own eyes

Archetype — The Ruler Birthday — November 14, 1982 Zodiac Sign — Scorpio MBTI — ENTJ Enneagram — 6, the Loyalist Temperament — Phlegmatic Hogwarts House — Gryffslyth with a claw model Moral Alignment — Lawful Neutral Primary Vice — Envy Primary Virtue — Diligence Element — Earth

Overview:

Mother — Sorcha de Chateaupers (nee DunBroch) (FC: Lindsay Duncan) Father — Silas de Chateaupers (FC: Pierce Brosnan) Mother’s Occupation — homemaker Father’s Occupation — Prince of the Order; owner of de Chateaupers industries (they make metal work for construction sites) Family Finances — wealthy; got dat old money Birth Order — oldest Brothers — none Sisters — Astrid, little sister Other Close Family — family tree here Best Friend — Celmens de Chateaupers (deceased) Other Friends — the Order Enemies — vicious creatures, demons, ghosts, mediums, sinners Pets — Achilles; twelve year old grey dappled Hanoverian Home Life During Childhood — because Phoebus had been born prematurely, for the first few years of his life, he was rather frail. His mother became over-protective of him and doted on him. He spent a lot of time indoors, reading and studying. His cousin Clemens came over to play with him, but he didn’t socialize much outside of school. His father was constantly criticizing him and attempting to “toughen him up.” Town or City Name(s) — Skagen, Denmark (has also bopped around Europe, he’s been pretty much everywhere.) What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — pretty plain, didn’t have a lot of toys. Lots of books though. Painted like a blue probably. Faced towards the sea. Any Sports or Clubs — Once he got older, he got into rugby and football, that kind of thing. Was never amazing at it, but not horrible either. Also did sword fighting, sparring, wrestling, etc. He’s a GREAT jouster. Favorite Toy or Game — jousting Schooling — homeschooled Favorite Subject — history and tactic Popular or Loner — loner for sure Important Experiences or Events — becoming a squire, studying with the DunBrochs, when he fucked up his first hunt, when he finally killed a demon, when his father named Clemens his successor. Nationality — Danish Culture — Danish; Order of the Prince Religion and beliefs — Christian, specifically Lutheran-Protestant

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim — Nikolaj Coster-Waldau Complexion — fair, but tannish from the sun Hair Colour — golden Eye Colour — blue and twinkley Height — 6’2 Build — stocky but not overly broad, definitely fit and toned and intimidating Tattoos — one on his right shoulder of his family coat of arms Piercings — none Common Hairstyle — mid-length, straight, tucks it behind his ears or slicks it back, sometimes it is shorter, just depending. It’s been longer for a while now bc he can’t be fucked. Clothing Style — casual. Wears a lot of jeans and boots. Good things for hiking or moving freely. Mannerisms — not a fidgeter. He stays still. Very stoic. Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — yeah, he lowkey gets colds all the time, especially travelling, but he fights through it Physical Ailments — none Neurological Conditions — depression, alcoholic probably Allergies — general allergies Grooming Habits — depends on his mood, definitely likes to get cleaned up and look nice all clean shaven or beard trimmed and wearing a nice suit, but on the day to day he’s a little more rugged Sleeping Habits — doesn’t sleep well these days because he’s haunted, so always looks kind of tired Eating Habits — also not great, drinks more than he eats probably, but he does his best to keep in shape too so eats lots of meats and salads, not a big sweets person. Exercise Habits — every day, runs in the night and does gym shit in the morning i don’t know what gym shit i don’t do gym shit but he’s physically fit okay Emotional Stability — lol not great Body Temperature — average Sociability — he’s an introverted extrovert, he’s good with people, very slyth-secondary Addictions — alcohol, women--probably Drug Use — none Alcohol Use — all the time

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — drinking, getting into fights, being a general dick Good Habits — uh, he reads a lot, intelligent, thinks before he speaks...usually Best Characteristic — hard-worker Worst Characteristic — jealousy Worst Memory — learning of Clemens’ death Best Memory — becoming a Prince Proud of — his hunting accomplishments Embarrassed by — himself? lmao Driving Style — a good driver. follows rules Strong Points — intelligence, strategy, eager to please Temperament — pretty even keeled, but he’s got a bit of a temper and is impatient Attitude — callous and uncaring Weakness — his ego? uhhhh Fears — being useless, being shamed Phobias — none Secrets — that he is p sure he killed his cousin Regrets — spreading that rumor about Clemens Feels Vulnerable When — people talk about him behind his back Pet Peeves — cowardice (when it comes to hunts/battles) Conflicts — what happened to his cousin, his religion v what he’s done Motivation — to be the very best, like no one ever was Short Term Goals and Hopes — fight some monsters Long Term Goals and Hopes — get rid of his fucKINg cousin’s ghost Sexuality — hetero af aggressively hetero Day or Night Person — daytime Introvert or Extrovert — introverted extrovert Optimist or Pessimist — pessimist

Likes and Styles:

Music — likes a little bit of everything but is more into acoustic-type stuff. Probably also like a few danish rock bands from the 80s/90s most likely, when he went through like his #angsty punk phase. Books — loves history books and mythology; anything that can help him gain more information and strategy for fighting. Magazines — none Foods — loves fish and meats. Not a big sweets fan, honestly. Drinks — whiskey, who doesn’t love a good glass of whiskey? He also is a fan of a good beer. Drinks protein shakes, but he doesn’t like them. Also an avid coffee drinker. Animals — horses and dogs, as they are the most useful during a hunt and also loyal. Finds cats frivolous and only good for rat-catching. Indifferent towards most other animals, except for dangerous magical ones, of course. Social Issues — the protection of mundus Favorite Saying — “strength gives glory” his family words Color — gold and red, the colors of his family coat of arms. He takes great pride in this. He also likes blue, because it looks good on him. Jewelry — probably has like a family ring heirloom type thing. also has a virgin Mary miraculous medallion that he wears Games — jousting, melees, that kind of thing Websites — none really TV Shows — cops shows/true detective crime shows/the history channel Movies — okay there is this danish movie i found called “Ordet” and the plot is #wild, but also sounds like something Phoebus would be into. He’s into like gritty noir films or avant garde indie films. Stuff that has to do with like crises of faith and that sort of thing. Probably into period pieces too or medieval. Also, big into mythology, so any adaptation of the Odyssey or the Iliad or stuff like that. He watched a lot of movies as a kid. (Side note: there is another movie called “Breaking the Waves” and wow,,) Greatest Want — to take over as the head of his family and be a successful Prince, maybe even King one day, in the future Greatest Need — to be admired

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — an apartment in Castle Suites Household furnishings — plain Favorite Possession — his saddle, it was given to him by his father when he became a Prince -- it was custom made Most Cherished Possession — he’s not really a material person tbh or well, he is ? but he doesn’t really consider anything “cherished” Married Before — no Significant Other Before — he’s had a few girlfriends over the years, but they’ve all fallen through, was in love with his cousin’s wife just for extra salt in THAT wound. her name is Olivia. Children — none Relationship with Family — strained with his father, closer to his mother Car — none atm but he can drive Career — a Prince -- but his cover is police officer Dream Career — running his family company and being a successful Prince Dream Life — married, with kids, running his family company and being a well-renowned Prince Love Life — a mess.

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — he’s been an officer in many places over the past twenty-ish years Past Lovers — lots and lots of women Biggest Mistakes — lmao where do i start Biggest Achievements — becoming a Prince

#character sheet #about #try and fight me #on this fc choice #/pets

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justanothercinemaniac · 7 years

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Epic Movie (Re)Watch #186 - The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: I think so.

Do I remember it: Better than I did the 1st one, which isn’t saying much.

Did I see it in theaters: No

Format: Blu-ray

I nominated the recap for the first Princess Diaries to @princessofsunnydale because she nominated it for my (Re)Watch so I thought I’d do the same for this post. Thanks!

1) I think it was a wildly smart decision to move the setting of this film from San Francisco to Mia’s often spoke of but rarely seen dominion of Genovia. It’s an organic next step to her story. We saw her learn how to be a princess in San Fran, now we see how she actually adapts to her home country (which is a lively character in its own right). The decision to jump ahead five years ahead instead of three (the number of years between releases) I think also is nice. Mia is more comfortable in the agency she gained in the first film, the relationship with her beau Michael is not hanging over her head, it just allows the film to not be dogged down by some plot points from the first film.

2) Sir Fat Louie? Did they knight him? Can you knight a cat?

3) I didn’t remember this line before I put in the movie but I do now.

4) Shonda Rhimes co-authored the story AND wrote the screenplay? Huh.

(I don’t actually watch any Shonda Rhimes shows, now that I think about it.)

5) Chris Pine as Nicholas.

There is a strong initial chemistry Pine has with lead actress Hathaway, allowing the audience to grow invested in their relationship quickly. Even/especially when they’re not getting long, you can just fell the sexual chemistry in the air between them. It’s fun, making the film stronger because of it.

Chris Pine on his own is as charismatic and interesting as ever. In lesser hands the character of Nicholas could be an even bigger jerk and while there are antagonistic qualities to him the audience UNDERSTANDS his motivations. He is trying to honor what he believes his dead father wanted, he believes he’s trying to do what’s best for Genovia. And when he sees he was mistaken, he tries to step aside. There’s a nice honesty to Pine’s performance. He doesn’t play Nicholas as an over the top mustache twirling villain. All in all, Pine does a fine job in this film and helps support it.

6) Except for one black guy, Genovia’s parliament is made up of all white guys saying they don’t want a woman to rule unless she has a man by her side.

I think Queen Clarisse has the perfect response to that.

The law is severely sexist and antiquated. One of the members of parliament claims it should be respected because it is 300 years old. Saying a law is that old is not an effective argument for it as much as it is AGAINST it. 300 years ago in 2004 that’s 1704. That’s slavery, that’s a fundamental lack of women’s rights across most countries. Don’t use the fact a law is old to argue for it. Laws should evolve as the world does.

7) John Rhys Davies is a wonderful character actor who plays Nicholas’ uncle as a holier than thou elitist arrogant jerk. I love to hate him in this, but I might need to watch Lord of the Rings or Raiders of the Lost Ark next to balance out my feelings.

8) Hey guys. Remember that time Catwoman stomped on Captain Kirk’s foot in front of Gimli and Mary Poppins?

I’m sure someone has made this joke before, but still.

9) The last film was largely about Clarisse putting her duty as queen aside to be Mia’s grandmother, a relationship which is as strong in this film as ever.

Clarisse [after Mia stomped on Nicholas’ foot]: “As a grandma I say right on.”

10) Like the first film, this movie’s biggest flaw is definitely pacing. Many scenes serve no purpose for the larger plot and instead distract from the main conflict. But - like with the first film - these scenes are also some of the most memorable. So…I’m not sure what to say then. I’m just going to move on.

11) I dig this.

Matarazzo is a continued treat in this film as she was in the first, stealing a number of scenes and infusing some quality humor into the plot. The way she mixes with Genovian life and culture can lead to some nice fish out of water observations, and Matarazzo plays the role with as much commitment and heart as she did in the first film. God bless Lily.

12) The bachelor selection scene is - by far - one of my favorite moments in the film. It is directly related to the plot and has an incredible amount of humor to it. Also, it’s not nearly as long as I remember.

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For those of you who didn’t watch the clip above (or even if you did), here is my favorite moment from the scene.

(GIFs originally posted by @ezrajamessharkington)

I mean it’s small, but I appreciate that both this film and its predecessor acknowledge the LGBTQIA+ community more than other Disney films did at the time.

13) Callum Blue as Andrew Jacoby.

Much like Michael from the first film, Andrew is able to be a good guy while avoiding the trope of Nice Guy™. There is a respect he has for Mia, an understanding and a fondness. They clearly have a connection and appreciate each other’s company, but it is clear that neither of them love each other. And Andrew does not force this on Mia. He’s pretty much at her service, ready to respect her wishes without being a total pushover. He’s a good guy, someone who could have easily been a jerk or a bully but the fact Mia could plausibly end up with him just ups the stakes.

14) The fan scene is a nice moment of chemistry between Hathaway and Andrews, which (much like in the preceding film) is one of the strongest elements of this movie.

this film one of those moments is when she is reduced to tears because John Rhys Davies spooked her horse and revealed that - SHOCKER - women actually prefer to not ride side saddle. I suppose it’s better that she’s too hard on herself than not hard enough though, as she will be queen.

16) Damn, Joe is a badass.

Mabrey: “Sir, you will find that the word ‘fear’ is not in my vocabulary.”

Joe: “Perhaps. But it’s in your eyes.”

17) Hey look! The foot pop!

18) Okay, Nicholas is being creepy with Mia at the fountain. Yes, they kiss. But then she says no to him. Multiple times, too. Yet he keeps groping at her and chasing her around the fountain until they both fall in. And MIA’S in trouble?

19) The parade.

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By far the strongest moment in the film. It shows off not only the agency Mia gained in the first film (she has the confidence to stop a parade), but also her incredible heart. She shows off such kindness and care for the people of Genovia, accepts her role as a leader, and is able to create a positive change through the sheer depth of her heart. Also, little Abigail Breslin is very cute.

20) Holy crap, Paul Williams is in this movie.

What is this movie?

21) The bridal slumber party is another scene which doesn’t really add to the plot and it goes a little long. BUT - again - it is wildly memorable. Especially seeing Julie Andrews surf on a mattress after giving a wink to her most iconic character.

22) Julie Andrews’ song.

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Julie Andrews underwent surgery in 1997 to treat what she referred to as a muscular striation on her vocal cords. She emerged from the surgery with permanent damage that hurt her singing voice and gave a rasp to her speaking voice (for which she sued the hospital for malpractice two years later). Julie Andrews basically lost her singing voice. Her song “Your Crowning Glory” was the first time she sang on screen since the surgery. Although it was set in a limited range to accommodate her voice, she was reported to have nailed it on the first take and brought tears to the eyes of crew members on set. Raven Symoné - who duets with Andrews on the song - was so moved when she told she’d be singing with the legend that she too was reportedly brought to tears. If for no other reason, I am grateful this movie exists for all of that.

23) Nicholas is very ready to step aside and let Mia rule.

Nicholas [after his uncle notes all their work would be for nothing]: “It wouldn’t be nothing. Genovia would in good hands.”

I love that. I love that he’s true to his beliefs about doing what’s right for Genovia, NOT himself.

24) So there’s a slight bit of foreshadowing here.

Nicholas [at Mia’s window]: “Rapunzel, Rapunzel…”

Chris Pine would later go on to play Cinderella’s Prince in the 2014 film adaptation of Into the Woods, which also featured the characters of Rapunzel and her prince.

25) I’m surprised Paolo’s back. I mean, Larry Miller is great. But didn’t he totally betray the trust of the royal family in the first film? And also, why is he suddenly kinda bad at styling Mia?

26) Bless whoever made this

(I just found this on google. If this is your’s and you want credit let me know and I’ll be happy to give it.)

27) Um, guys…

What the heck is Stan Lee doing in The Princess Diaries 2? Is Mia going to join The Avengers? Is Genovia a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe? What is happening!?

All humor aside, as I understand it Stan Lee will cameo in any movie asked as long as he gets his standard fee. I think he wants to have the record for most cameos ever.

28) I dig it, Andrew.

Andrew [after Mia calls off the wedding]: “Uh…thank you. Thank you for saving me from doing the proper thing for once in my life.”

29) Much like the first film, it is Mia who must take her own fate in her hands. She’s the one who argues against the marriage law, she’s the one who convinces the people and parliament to strike it down (although the Prime Minister is again incredibly supportive and I love that). It’s her taking charge of her life, which I think is absolutely great.

30) I 100% forgot that part of this film ended with Clarisse and Joe getting married. I am very okay with that.

31) OH MY GOD YES! PARLIAMENT IS MORE DIVERSE AT THE END! THERE ARE SO MANY WOMEN AND EVEN WOMEN OF COLOR AND IT’S JUST BEAUTIFUL AND DIVERSE AND I NEED MORE OF IT! THANK YOU!

Like the first film, The Princess Diaries 2 held up surprisingly better than I was expecting. Obviously it’s aimed at a younger audience than me but it was pretty enjoyable. Anne Hathaway is strong as ever, as is Julie Andrews, while Chris Pine is a welcome and fitting addition to the cast. The themes are nicely feminist as is the ending. Overall I just find it an enjoyable film worth the watch.

#The Princess Diaries #Julie Andrews #Anne Hathaway #Chris Pine #Heather Matarazzo #The Princess Diaries 2 #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #John Rhys Davies #Paul Williams #Stan Lee #Abigail Breslin #Boom #I Don't Get It #Movie #Film #GIF

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rhetoricandlogic · 6 years

Photo

The First Witch of Damansara

ZEN CHO

Vivian’s late grandmother was a witch—which is just a way of saying she was a woman of unusual insight. Vivian, in contrast, had a mind like a hi-tech blender. She was sharp and purposeful, but she did not understand magic.

This used to be a problem. Magic ran in the family. Even her mother’s second cousin, who was adopted, did small spells on the side. She sold these from a stall in Kota Bharu. Her main wares were various types of fruit fried in batter, but if you bought five pisang or cempedak goreng, she threw in a jampi for free.

These embarrassing relatives became less of a problem after Vivian left Malaysia. In the modern Western country where she lived, the public toilets were clean, the newspapers were allowed to be as rude to the government as they liked, and nobody believed in magic except people in whom nobody believed. Even with a cooking appliance mind, Vivian understood that magic requires belief to thrive.

She called home rarely, and visited even less often. She was twenty-eight, engaged to a rational man, and employed as an accountant.

Vivian’s Nai Nai would have said that she was attempting to deploy enchantments of her own—the fiancé, the ordinary hobbies, and the sensible office job were so many sigils to ward off chaos. It was not an ineffective magic. It worked—for a while.

There was just one moment, after she heard the news, when Vivian experienced a surge of unfilial exasperation.

“They could have call me on Skype,” she said. “Call my handphone some more! What a waste of money.”

“What’s wrong?” said the fiancé. He plays the prince in this story: beautiful, supportive, and cast in an appropriately self-effacing role—just off-screen, on a white horse.

“My grandmother’s passed away,” said Vivian. “I’m supposed to go back.”

Vivian was not a woman to hold a grudge. When she turned up at KLIA in harem trousers and a tank top it was not through malice aforethought, but because she had simply forgotten.

Her parents embraced her with sportsmanlike enthusiasm, but when this was done her mother pulled back and plucked at her tank top.

“Girl, what’s this? You know Nai Nai won’t like it.”

Nai Nai had lived by a code of rigorous propriety. She had disapproved of wearing black or navy blue at Chinese New Year, of white at weddings, and of spaghetti straps at all times. When they went out for dinner, even at the local restaurant where they sat outdoors and were accosted by stray cats requesting snacks, her grandchildren were required to change out of their ratty pasar malam T-shirts and faded shorts. She drew a delicate but significant distinction between flip-flops and sandals, singlets and strapless tops, soft cotton shorts and denim.

“Can see your bra,” whispered Ma. “It’s not so nice.”

“That kind of pants,” her dad said dubiously. “Don’t know what Nai Nai will think of it.”

“Nai Nai won’t see them what,” said Vivian, but this offended her parents. They sat in mutinous silence throughout the drive home.

Their terrace house was swarming with pregnant cats and black dogs.

“Only six dogs,” said Vivian’s mother when Vivian pointed this out. “Because got five cats. Your sister thought it’s a good idea to have more dogs than cats.”

“But why do we have so many cats?” said Vivian. “I thought you don’t like to have animals in the house.”

“Nai Nai collected the cats,” said Vivian’s sister. “She started before she passed away. Pregnant cats only.”

“Wei Yi,” said Vivian. “How are you?”

“I’m OK. Vivian,” said Wei Yi. Her eyes glittered.

She’d stopped calling Vivian jie jie some time after Vivian left home. Vivian minded this less than the way she said “Vivian” as though it were a bad word.

But after all, Vivian reminded herself, Wei Yi was seventeen. She was practically legally required to be an arsehole.

“Why did Nai Nai want the pregnant cats?” Vivian tried to make her voice pleasant.

“Hai, don’t need to talk so much,” said their mother hastily. “Lin—Vivian so tired. Vivian, you go and change first, then we go for dinner. Papa will start complaining soon if not.”

It was during an outing to a prayer goods store, while Vivian’s mother was busy buying joss sticks, that her mother’s friend turned to Vivian and said, “So a lot of things to do in your house now ah?”

Vivian was shy to say she knew nothing about what preparations were afoot. As her mother’s eldest it would only have been right for her to have been her mother’s first support in sorting out the funeral arrangements.

“No, we are having a very simple funeral,” said Vivian. “Nai Nai didn’t believe in religion so much.”

This was not a lie. The brutal fact was that Nai Nai had been an atheist with animist leanings, in common with most witches. Vivian’s parents preferred not to let this be known, less out of a concern that Nai Nai would be outed as a witch, than because of the stale leftover fear that she would be considered a Communist.

“But what about the dog cat all that?” said Auntie Wendy. “Did it work? Did your sister manage to keep her in the coffin?”

Vivian’s mind whirred to a stop. Then it started up again, buzzing louder than ever.

Ma was righteously indignant when Vivian reproached her.

“You live so long overseas, why you need to know?” said Ma. “Don’t worry. Yi Yi is handling it. Probably Nai Nai was not serious anyway.”

“Not serious about what?”

“Hai, these old people have their ideas,” said Ma. “Nai Nai live in KL so long, she still want to go home. Not that I don’t want to please her. If it was anything else… but even if she doesn’t have pride for herself, I have pride for her!”

“Nai Nai wanted to be buried in China?” said Vivian, puzzled.

“China what China! Your Nai Nai is from Penang lah,” said Ma. “Your Yeh Yeh is also buried in Bukit Tambun there. But the way he treat Mother, I don’t think they should be buried together.”

Vivian began to understand. “But Ma, if she said she wanted to be with him—”

“It’s not what she wants! It’s just her idea of propriety,” said Ma. “She thinks woman must always stay by the husband no matter what. I don’t believe that! Nai Nai will be buried here and when her children and grandchildren pass on we will be buried with her. It’s more comfortable for her, right? To have her loved ones around her?”

“But if Nai Nai didn’t think so?”

Ma’s painted eyebrows drew together.

“Nai Nai is a very stubborn woman,” she said.

Wei Yi was being especially teenaged that week. She went around with lightning frizzing her hair and stormclouds rumbling about her ears. Her clothes stood away from her body, stiff with electricity. The cats hissed and the dogs whined when she passed.

When she saw the paper offerings their mother had bought for Nai Nai, she threw a massive tantrum.

“What’s this?” she said, picking up a paper polo shirt. “Where got Nai Nai wear this kind of thing?”

Ma looked embarrassed.

“The shop only had that,” she said. “Don’t be angry, girl. I bought some bag and shoe also. But you know Nai Nai was never the dressy kind.”

“That’s because she like to keep all her nice clothes,” said Wei Yi. She cast a look of burning contempt at the paper handbag, printed in heedless disregard of intellectual property rights with the Gucci logo. “Looks like the pasar malam bag. And this slippers is like old man slippers. Nai Nai could put two of her feet in one slipper!”

“Like that she’s less likely to hop away,” Ma said thoughtlessly.

“Is that what you call respecting your mother-in-law?” shouted Wei Yi. “Hah, you wait until it’s your turn! I’ll know how to treat you then.”

“Wei Yi, how can you talk to Ma like that?” said Vivian.

“You shut up your face!” Wei Yi snapped. She flounced out of the room.

“She never even see the house yet,” sighed Ma. She had bought an elaborate palace fashioned out of gilt-edged pink paper, with embellished roofs and shuttered windows, and two dolls dressed in Tang dynasty attire prancing on a balcony. “Got two servants some more.”

“She shouldn’t talk to you like that,” said Vivian.

She hadn’t noticed any change in Ma’s appearance before, but now the soft wrinkly skin under her chin and the pale brown spots on her arms reminded Vivian that she was getting old. Old people should be cared for.

She touched her mother on the arm. “I’ll go scold her. Never mind, Ma. Girls this age are always one kind.”

Ma smiled at Vivian.

“You were OK,” she said. She tucked a lock of Vivian’s hair behind her ear.

Old people should be grateful for affection. The sudden disturbing thought occurred to Vivian that no one had liked Nai Nai very much because she’d never submitted to being looked after.

Wei Yi was trying to free the dogs. She stood by the gate, holding it open and gesturing with one hand at the great outdoors.

“Go! Blackie, Guinness, Ah Hei, Si Hitam, Jackie, Bobby! Go, go!”

The dogs didn’t seem that interested in the great outdoors. Ah Hei took a couple of tentative steps towards the gate, looked back at Wei Yi, changed her mind and sat down again.

“Jackie and Bobby?” said Vivian.

Wei Yi shot her a glare. “I ran out of ideas.” The so what? was unspoken, but it didn’t need to be said.

“Why these stupid dogs don’t want to go,” Wei Yi muttered. “When you open the gate to drive in or out, they go running everywhere. When you want them to chau, they don’t want.”

“They can tell you won’t let them back in again,” said Vivian.

She remembered when Wei Yi had been cute—as a little girl, with those pure single-lidded eyes and the doll-like lacquered bowl of hair. When had she turned into this creature? Hair at sevens and eights, the uneven fringe falling into malevolent eyes. Inappropriately tight Bermuda shorts worn below an unflatteringly loose plaid shirt.

At seven Wei Yi had been a being perfect in herself. At seventeen there was nothing that wasn’t wrong about the way she moved in the world.

Vivian had been planning to tell her sister off, but the memory of that lovely child softened her voice. “Why you don’t want the dogs anymore?”

“I want Nai Nai to win.” Wei Yi slammed the gate shut.

“What, by having nice clothes when she’s passed away?” said Vivian. “Winning or losing, doesn’t matter for Nai Nai anymore. What does it matter if she wears a polo shirt in the afterlife?”

Wei Yi’s face crumpled. She clutched her fists in agony. The words broke from her in a roar.

“You’re so stupid! You don’t know anything!” She kicked the gate to relieve her feelings. “Nai Nai’s brain works more than yours and she’s dead! Do you even belong to this family?”

This was why Vivian had left. Magic lent itself to temperament.

“Maybe not,” said Vivian.

When Vivian was angry she did it with the same single-minded energy she did everything else. This was why she decided to go wedding dress shopping in the week of her grandmother’s funeral.

There were numerous practical justifications, actually. She went through them in her head as she drove past bridal studios where faceless mannequins struck poses in clouds of tulle.

“Cheaper to get it here than overseas. Not like I’m helping much at home what. Not like I was so close to Nai Nai.”

She ended up staring mournfully at herself in the mirror, weighted down by satin and rhinestones. Did she want a veil? Did she like lace? Ball gown or mermaid shape?

She’d imagined her wedding dress as being white and long. She hadn’t expected there to be so many permutations on a theme. She felt pinned in place by the choices available to her.

The shop assistant could tell her heart wasn’t in it.

“Some ladies like other color better,” said the shop assistant. “You want to try? We have blue, pink, peach, yellow—very nice color, very feminine.”

“I thought usually white?”

“Some ladies don’t like white because—you know—” the shop assistant lowered her voice, but she was too superstitious to say it outright. “It’s related to a not so nice subject.”

The words clanged in Vivian’s ears. Briefly light-headed, she clutched at the back of a chair for balance. Her hands were freezing. In the mirror the white dress looked like a shroud. Her face hovering above it was the face of a mourner, or a ghost.

“Now that I’ve tried it, I’m not sure I like Western gown so much,” said Vivian, speaking with difficulty.

“We have cheongsam or qun kua,” said the shop assistant. “Very nice, very traditional. Miss is so slim, will suit the cheongsam.”

The jolt of red brocade was a relief. Vivian took a dress with gold trimmings, the highest of high collars and an even higher slit along the sides. It was as red as a blare of trumpets, as red as the pop of fireworks.

This fresh chili red had never suited her. In it she looked paler than ever, washed out by the vibrant shade. But the color was a protective charm. It laid monsters to rest. It shut out hungry ghosts. It frightened shadows back into the corners where they belonged.

Vivian crept home with her spoils. That night she slept and did not dream of anything.

The next morning she regretted the purchase. Her fiancé would think it was ridiculous. She couldn’t wear a cheongsam down the aisle of an Anglican church. She would take it back to the boutique and return it. After all the white satin mermaid dress had suited her. The sweetheart neckline was so much more flattering than a mandarin collar.

She shoved the cheongsam in a bag and tried to sneak out, but Wei Yi was sitting on the floor of the laundry room, in the way of her exit. She was surrounded by webs of filigreed red paper.

“What’s this?” said Vivian.

“It’s called paper cutting,” said Wei Yi, not looking up. “You never see before meh?”

On the floor the paper cuttings unfurled. Some were disasters: a mutilated fish floated past like tumbleweed; a pair of flirtatious girls had been torn apart by an overly enthusiastic slash. But some of the pieces were astounding.

“Kwan Yin,” said Vivian.

The folds in the goddess’s robes had been rendered with extraordinary delicacy. Her eyes were gentle, her face double-chinned. Her halo was a red moon circled by ornate clouds.

“It’s for Nai Nai,” said Wei Yi. “Maybe Kwan Yin will have mercy on her even though she’s so blasphemous.”

“Shouldn’t talk like that about the dead,” said Vivian.

Wei Yi rolled her eyes, but the effort of her craft seemed to be absorbing all her evil energies. Her response was mild: “It’s not disrespectful if it’s true.”

Her devotion touched Vivian. Surely not many seventeen-year-olds would spend so much time on so laborious a task. The sleet of impermanent art piled around her must have taken hours to produce.

“Did Nai Nai teach you how to do that?” Vivian said, trying to get back on friendlier ground.

Wei Yi’s face spasmed.

“Nai Nai was a rubber tapper with seven children,” she said. “She can’t even read! You think what, she was so free she can do all these hobbies, is it? I learnt it from YouTube lah!”

She crumpled the paper she was working on and flung it down on the floor to join the flickering red mass.

“Oh, whatever!” said Vivian in the fullness of her heart.

She bought the whitest, fluffiest, sheeniest, most beaded dress she could find in the boutique. It was strapless and low-backed to boot. Nai Nai would have hated it.

That night Vivian dreamt of her grandmother.

Nai Nai had climbed out of her coffin where she had been lying in the living room. She was wearing a kebaya, with a white baju and a batik sarong wrapped around her hips. No modern creation this—the blouse was fastened not with buttons but with kerongsang, ornate gold brooches studded with pearls and rhinestones.

Nai Nai was struggling with the kerongsang. In her dream Vivian reached out to help her.

“I can do!” said Nai Nai crossly. “Don’t so sibuk.” She batted at the kerongsang with the slim brown hands that had been so deft in life.

“What’s the matter? You want to take it off for what?” said Vivian in Hokkien.

“It’s too nice to wear outside,” Nai Nai complained. “When I was alive I used safety pins and it was enough. All this hassle just because I am like this. I didn’t save Yeh Yeh’s pension so you can spend on a carcass!”

“Why do you want to go outside?” Vivian took the bony arm. “Nai Nai, come, let’s go back to sleep. It’s so late already. Everybody is sleeping.”

Nai Nai was a tiny old lady with a dandelion fluff of white hair standing out from her head. She looked nothing like the spotty, tubby, furiously awkward Wei Yi, but her expression suddenly showed Vivian what her sister would look like when she was old. The contemptuous exasperation was exactly the same.

“If it’s not late, how can I go outside?” she said. “I have a long way to go. Hai!” She flung up her hands. “After they bury me, ask the priest to give you back the kerongsang.”

She started hopping towards the door, her arms held rod-straight out in front of her. The sight was comic and horrible.

This was the secret the family had been hiding from Vivian. Nai Nai had become a kuang shi.

“Nai Nai,” choked Vivian. “Please rest. You’re so old already, shouldn’t run around so much.”

“Don’t answer back!” shouted Nai Nai from the foyer. “Come and open the door for Nai Nai! Yeh Yeh will be angry. He cannot stand when people are late.”

Vivian envisioned Nai Nai hopping out of the house—past the neighborhood park with its rustling bushes and creaking swings, past the neighbors’ Myvis and Peroduas, through the toll while the attendant slumbered. She saw Nai Nai hopping along the curves of the Titiwangsa mountains, her halo of hair white against the bleeding red of the hills where the forests had peeled away to show the limestone. She saw Nai Nai passing oil palm plantations, their leaves dark glossy green under the brassy glare of sunshine—sleepy water buffalo flicking their tails in wide hot fields—empty new terrace houses standing in white rows on bare hillsides. Up the long North-South Expressway, to her final home.

“Nai Nai,” said Vivian. Don’t leave us, she wanted to say.

“Complain, complain!” Nai Nai was slapping at the doorknob with her useless stiff hands.

“You can’t go all that way,” said Vivian. She had an inspiration. “Your sarong will come undone.”

Whoever had laid Nai Nai out had dressed her like a true nyonya. The sarong was wound around her hips and tucked in at the waist, with no fastenings to hold it up.

“At my age, who cares,” said Nai Nai, but this had clearly given her pause.

“Come back to sleep,” coaxed Vivian. “I’ll tell Mummy. Bukit Tambun, right? I’ll sort it out for you.”

Nai Nai gave her a sharp look. “Can talk so sweetly but what does she do? Grandmother is being buried and she goes to buy a wedding dress!”

Vivian winced.

“The dress is not nice also,” said Nai Nai. “What happened to the first dress? That was nice. Red is a happy color.”

“I know Nai Nai feels it’s pantang, but—”

“Pantang what pantang,” snapped Nai Nai. Like all witches, she hated to be accused of superstition. “White is a boring color! Ah, when I got married everybody wanted to celebrate. We had two hundred guests and they all had chicken to eat. I looked so beautiful in my photo. And Yeh Yeh…”

Nai Nai sank into reminiscence.

“What about Yeh Yeh?” prompted Vivian.

“Yeh Yeh looked the same as always. Like a useless playboy,” said Nai Nai. “He could only look nice and court girls.”

“Then you want to be buried with him for what?”

“That’s different,” said Nai Nai. “Whether I’m a good wife doesn’t have anything to do with what he was like.”

As if galvanized by Vivian’s resistance, she turned and made to hit the door again.

“If you listen to me, I’ll take the dress back to the shop,” said Vivian, driven by desperation.

Nai Nai paused. “You’ll buy the pretty cheongsam?”

“If you want also I’ll wear the kua,” said Vivian recklessly.

She tried not to imagine what her fiancé would say when he saw the loose red jacket and long skirt, embroidered in gold and silver with bug-eyed dragons and insectoid phoenixes. And the three-quarter bell sleeves, all the better to show the wealth of the family in the gold bracelets stacked on the bride’s wrists! How that would impress her future in-laws.

To her relief, Nai Nai said, “No lah! So old-fashioned. Cheongsam is nicer.”

She started hopping back towards the living room.

Vivian trailed behind, feeling somehow as if she had been outmaneuvered.

“Nai Nai, do you really want to be buried in Penang?”

Nai Nai peered up with suspicion in her reddened eyes as Vivian helped her back into the coffin.

“You want to change your mind, is it?”

“No, no, I’ll get the cheongsam. It’ll be in my room by tomorrow, I promise.”

Nai Nai smiled.

“You know why I wanted you all to call me Nai Nai?” she said before Vivian closed the coffin. “Even though Hokkien people call their grandmother Ah Ma?”

Vivian paused with her hand on the lid.

“In the movies, Nai Nai is always bad!”

Vivian woke up with her grandmother’s growly cackle in her ears.

Wei Yi was in the middle of a meltdown when Vivian came downstairs for breakfast. Ma bristled with relief:

“Ah, your sister is here. She’ll talk to you.”

Wei Yi was sitting enthroned in incandescence, clutching a bread knife. A charred hunk of what used to be kaya toast sat on her plate. The Star newspaper next to it was crisping at the edges.

Vivian began to sweat. She thought about turning on the ceiling fan, but that might stoke the flames.

She pulled out a chair and picked up the jar of kaya as if nothing was happening. “What’s up?”

Wei Yi turned hot coal eyes on Vivian.

“She doesn’t want to kill the dogs wor,” said Ma. “Angry already.”

“So? Who ask you to kill the dogs in the first place?” said Vivian.

“Stupid,” said Wei Yi. Her face was very pale, but her lips had the dull orange glow of heated metal. Fire breathed in her hair. A layer of ash lay on the crown of her head.

“Because of Nai Nai,” Ma explained. “Wei Yi heard the blood of a black dog is good for Nai Nai’s… condition.”

“It’s not right,” said Wei Yi. “It’s better for Nai Nai if—but you won’t understand one.”

Vivian spread a layer of kaya on her piece of bread before she answered. Her hands were shaking, but her voice was steady when she spoke.

“I think Ma is right. There’s no need to kill any dogs. Nai Nai is not serious about being a kuang shi. She’s just using it as an emotional blackmail.” She paused for reflection. “And I think she’s enjoying it also lah. You know Nai Nai was always very active. She likes to be up and about.”

Wei Yi dropped her butter knife.

“Eh, how you know?” said Ma.

“She talked to me in my dream last night because she didn’t like the wedding dress I bought,” said Vivian.

Ma’s eyes widened. “You went to buy your wedding dress when Nai Nai just pass away?”

“You saw Nai Nai?” cried Wei Yi. “What did she say?”

“She likes cheongsam better, and she wants to be buried in Penang,” said Vivian. “So I’m going to buy cheongsam. Ma, should think about sending her back to Penang. When she got nothing to complain about she will settle down.”

“Why she didn’t talk to me?” said Wei Yi. Beads of molten metal ran down her face, leaving silver trails. “I do so many jampi and she never talk to me! It’s not fair!”

Ma was torn between an urge to scold Vivian and the necessity of comforting Wei Yi. “Girl, don’t cry—Vivian, so disrespectful, I’m surprise Nai Nai never scold you—”

“Yi Yi,” said Vivian. “She didn’t talk to you because in Nai Nai’s eyes you are perfect already.” As she said this, she realized it was true.

Wei Yi—awkward, furious, and objectionable in every way—was Nai Nai’s ideal grandchild. There was no need to monitor or reprimand such a perfect heir. The surprise was that Nai Nai even thought it necessary to rise from the grave to order Vivian around, rather than just leaving the job to the next witch.

Of course, Nai Nai probably hadn’t had the chance to train Wei Yi in the standards expected of a wedding in Nai Nai’s family. The finer points of bridal fashion would certainly escape Wei Yi.

“Nai Nai only came back to scold people,” said Vivian. “She doesn’t need to scold you for anything.”

The unnatural metallic sheen of Wei Yi’s face went away. Her hair and eyes dimmed. Her mouth trembled.

Vivian expected a roar. Instead Wei Yi shoved her kaya toast away and laid her head on the table.

“I miss Nai Nai,” she sobbed.

Ma got up and touched Vivian on the shoulder.

“I have to go buy thing,” she whispered. “You cheer up your sister.”

Wei Yi’s skin was still hot when Vivian put her arm around her, but as Vivian held her Wei Yi’s temperature declined, until she felt merely feverish. Her tears went from scalding to lukewarm.

“Nai Nai, Nai Nai,” she wailed in that screechy show-off way Vivian had always hated. When they were growing up Vivian had not believed in Wei Yi’s tears—they seemed no more than a show, put on to impress the grown-ups.

Vivian now realized that the grief was as real as the volume deliberate. Wei Yi did not cry like that simply because she was sad, but because she wanted someone to listen to her.

In the old days it had been a parent or a teacher’s attention that she had sought. These howls were aimed directly at the all-too-responsive ears of their late grandmother.

“Wei Yi,” said Vivian. “I’ve thought of what you can do for Nai Nai.”

For once Wei Yi did not put Vivian’s ideas to scorn. She seemed to have gone up in her sister’s estimation for having seen Nai Nai’s importunate spectre.

Vivian had a feeling Nai Nai’s witchery had gone into Wei Yi’s paper cutting skills. YouTube couldn’t explain the unreal speed with which she did it.

Vivian tried picking up Wei Yi’s scissors and dropped them, yelping.

“What the—!” It had felt like an electric shock.

Wei Yi grabbed the scissors. “These are no good. I give you other ones to use.”

Vivian got the task of cutting out the sarong—a large rectangular piece of paper to which Wei Yi would add the batik motifs later. When she was done Wei Yi took a look and pursed her lips. The last time Vivian had felt this small was when she failed her first driving test two minutes after getting into the car.

“OK ah?”

“Not bad,” said Wei Yi unconvincingly. “Eh, you go help Ma do her whatever thing lah. I’ll work on this first.”

A couple of hours later she barged into Vivian’s room. “Why you’re here? Why you take so long? Come and see!”

Vivian got up sheepishly. “I thought you need some time to finish mah.”

“Nonsense. Nai Nai going to be buried tomorrow, where got time to dilly-dally?” Wei Yi grasped her hand.

The paper dress was laid in crisp folds on the dining table. Wei Yi’s scissors had rendered the delicate lace of the kebaya blouse with marvelous skill. Peacocks with uplifted wings and princely crowns draped their tails along the hems, strutted up the lapels, and curled coyly around the ends of the sleeves. The paper was chiffon-thin. A breath set it fluttering.

The skirt was made from a thicker, heavier cream paper. Wei Yi had cut blowsy peonies into the front and a contrasting grid pattern on the reverse. Vivian touched it in wonder, feeling the nubby texture of the paper under her fingertips.

“Do you think Nai Nai will like it?” said Wei Yi.

Vivian had to be honest. “The top is a bit see-through, no?”

“She’ll have a singlet to wear underneath,” said Wei Yi. “I left that for you to do. Very simple one. Just cut along the line only.”

This was kindness, Wei Yi style.

“It’s beautiful, Yi Yi,” said Vivian. She felt awkward—they were not a family given to compliments—but once she’d started it was easy to go on. “It’s so nice. Nai Nai will love it.”

“Ah, don’t need to say so much lah,” Wei Yi scoffed. “‘OK’ enough already. I still haven’t done shoe yet.”

They burnt the beautiful cream kebaya as an offering to Nai Nai. It didn’t go alone—Wei Yi had created four other outfits, working through the night. Samfu for everyday wear; an old-fashioned loose, long-sleeved cheongsam (“Nicer for older lady. Nai Nai is not a Shanghai cabaret singer”); a sarong for sleeping in; and a Punjabi suit of all things.

“Nai Nai used to like wearing it,” said Wei Yi when Vivian expressed surprise. “Comfortable mah. Nai Nai likes this simple kind of thing to wear for every day.”

“Four is not a good number,” said Vivian. “Maybe should make extra sarong?”

“You forgot the kebaya. That’s five,” Wei Yi retorted. “Anyway she die already. What is there to be pantang about?”

They threw in the more usual hell gold and paper mansion into the bonfire as well. The doll servants didn’t burn well, but melted dramatically and stuck afterwards.

Since they were doing the bonfire outside the house, on the public road, this concerned Vivian. She chipped doubtfully away at the mess of plastic.

“Don’t worry,” said Ma. “The servants have gone to Nai Nai already.”

“I’m not worried about that,” said Vivian. “I’m worried about MPPJ.” She couldn’t imagine the local authorities would be particularly pleased about the extra work they’d made for them.

“They’re used to it lah,” said Ma, dismissing the civil service with a wave of the hand.

They even burnt the fake Gucci bag and the polo shirt in the end.

“Nai Nai will find some use for it,” said Wei Yi. “Maybe turn out she like that kind of style also.”

She could afford to be magnanimous. Making the kebaya had relieved something in Wei Yi’s heart. As she’d stood watch over the flames to make sure the demons didn’t get their offerings to Nai Nai, there had been a serenity in her face.

As they moved back to the house, Vivian put her arm around her sister, wincing at the snap and hiss when her skin touched Wei Yi’s. It felt like a static shock, only intensified by several orders of magnitude.

“OK?”

Wei Yi was fizzing with magic, but her eyes were calm and dark and altogether human.

“OK,” replied the Witch of Damansara.

In Vivian’s dream a moth came fluttering into the room. It alighted at the end of her bed and turned into Nai Nai.

Nai Nai was wearing a green-and-white striped cotton sarong, tucked and knotted under her arms as if she were going to bed soon. Her hair smelled of Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo. Her face was white with bedak sejuk.

“Tell your mother the house is very beautiful,” said Nai Nai. “The servants have already run away and got married, but it’s not so bad. In hell it’s not so dusty. Nothing to clean also.”

“Nai Nai—”

“Ah Yi is very clever now, har?” said Nai Nai. “The demons looked at my nice things but when they saw her they immediately run away.”

Vivian experienced a pang. She didn’t say anything, but perhaps the dead understood these things. Or perhaps it was just that Nai Nai, with sixty-five years of mothering behind her, did not need to be told. She reached out and patted Vivian’s hand.

“You are always so guai,” said Nai Nai. “I’m not so worried about you.”

This was a new idea to Vivian. She was unused to thinking of herself—magicless, intransigent—as the good kid in the family.

“But I went overseas,” she said stupidly.

“You’re always so clever to work hard. You don’t make your mother and father worried,” said Nai Nai. “Ah Yi ah…” Nai Nai shook her head. “So stubborn! So naughty! If I don’t take care sekali she burn down the house. That girl doesn’t use her head. But she become a bit guai already. When she’s older she won’t be so free, won’t have time to cause so much problems.”

Vivian did not point out that age did not seem to have stopped Nai Nai. This would have been disrespectful. Instead she said,

“Nai Nai, were you really a vampire? Or were you just pretending to turn into a kuang shi?”

“Hai, you think so fun to pretend to be a kuang shi?” said Nai Nai indignantly. “When you are old, you will find out how suffering it is. You think I have time to watch all the Hong Kong movies and learn how to be a vampire?”

So that was how she did it. The pale vampirish skin had probably been bedak sejuk as well. How Nai Nai had obtained bedak sejuk in the afterlife was a question better left unasked. Vivian had questions of more immediate interest anyway.

“If you stayed because you’re worried about Wei Yi, can I return the cheongsam to the shop?”

Nai Nai bridled. “Oh, like that ah? Not proud of your culture, is it? If you want to wear the white dress, like a ghost, so ugly—”

“Ma wore a white dress on her wedding day. Everyone does it.”

“Nai Nai give you my bedak sejuk and red lipstick lah. Then you can pretend to be kuang shi also!”

“I’ll get another cheongsam,” said Vivian. “Not that I don’t want to wear cheongsam. I just don’t like this one so much. It’s too expensive.”

“How much?”

Vivian told her.

“Wah, so much ah,” said Nai Nai. “Like that you should just get it tailored. Don’t need to buy from shop. Tailored is cheaper and nicer some more. The seamstress’s phone number is in Nai Nai’s old phonebook. Madam Teoh.”

“I’ll look,” Vivian promised.

Nai Nai got up, stretching. “Must go now. Scared the demons will don’t know do what if I leave the house so long. You must look after your sister, OK?”

Vivian, doubtful about how any attempt to look after Wei Yi was likely to be received, said, “Ah.”

“Nai Nai already gave Ah Yi her legacy, but I’ll give you yours now,” said Nai Nai. “You’re a good girl, Ah Lin. Nai Nai didn’t have chance to talk to you so much when you were small. But I’m proud of you. Make sure the seamstress doesn’t overcharge. If you tell Madam Teoh you’re my granddaughter she’ll give you discount.”

“Thank you, Nai Nai,” said Vivian, but she spoke to an empty room. The curtains flapped in Nai Nai’s wake.

On the floor lay a pile of clothes. Moonlight-sheer chiffon, brown batik, maroon silk and floral print cotton, and on top of this, glowing turquoise even in the pale light of the moon, the most gilded, spangled, intricately embroidered Punjabi suit Vivian had ever seen.

#Zen Cho #The First Witch of Damansara #short story

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