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#and now i came home after not eating anything all day bc I've been so busy i forgot
miokki · 1 year
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# CHOCOLATES
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✰ synopsis: valentine’s day with your secret high school sweetheart
✰ character(s): scaramouche x gn!reader, tartaglia
✰ content warnings: nothing
✰ note: happy late valantine’s day! (i forgot to post it yesterday) also if it seems a little rushed it is bc it is. school!au btw.
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if there was anything scaramouche hated more than sweet things, it was the day that seem to be filled with them. valentine’s day always repeats itself for the boy, at least since he started high school that is.
this year appeared to be no different, he could already see the first waiting for him at his locker with a box of chocolates. in past years, scaramouche would’ve tried to refuse gifts but after weighing up his options, he’s found that it’s easier to just accept people's gifts rather than outright refuse. the tactic has been working well as he now has fewer problems and the people appear to be okay after the initial rejection.
even after three valentine's days of countless confessions and an overload of flower petals he still has no clue what to do with all the chocolates. he’s figured out what to do with all the teddy bears and he just keeps flowers at home. yet there’s nothing that comes to mind when he needs to get rid of the leftover chocolate his mother won’t even eat. and as much as he hates chocolate or any kind of sweets for that matter, he hates to see food go to waste.
as of right now, scaramouche is eating by himself while working on something in his homeroom. it’s one of the only places he can find escapism at this moment in time due to his popularity amongst the girls. scara doesn’t get it. he doesn’t get why most of the girls at the high fawn over him, he isn’t anything out of the norm. but what do they know? all they see is some boy that always trails behind that group at school. coincidentally, childe doesn’t get it either, he is just as aloof as any other of the loners at this school. the only difference is that he's conventionally attractive.
“how many do you have so far?” childe asks as he barges into the room
scara lifts his gaze to see the redhead gleaming at him from across the room while walking up to his desk.
“23 girls and one boy,” the boy answered as he looked childe up and down.
“a boy too? damn, i'm jealous, i've only managed four and not a single boy in sight,” the tall one whined as he leaned himself against the desk beside scaramouche’s.
“i can see why there hasn't. you act more interested in mr zhongli than any of your classwork.”
“don't start getting cocky with me. i am the sole reason you can eat in peace.”
scaramouche chuckles, “so what did you end up doing?”
childe watches as scara takes another bite into his sandwich before relaxing back into his chair. he hasn’t been in this good of a mood since his mother came back from her trip with her girlfriend. even before, scara has never been this friendly towards him, not that he minds it of course. he's enjoying the conversation they're sharing. childe just wishes that he could see this side of him more often.
“ah. i didn't do much, i just told your fangirls that you were hanging around the fountain on the south side of the school. i have no idea why you'd hang there but they believed it.”
scara sighs, “i told you before, they're not my fangirls,” the dark-blue-haired boy glared.
“but it's true!” the tall boy exclaimed.
“they squeal when you walk past and when i told them you were near the fountain they fucking ran. i swear if you started selling posters of your face they'd sell them out in an instant. it’s like you’re whole of one direction to them. i wouldn't blame (name) if they ever got jealous.”
despite the last sentence being mumbled, scaramouche heard just enough to freeze. he’s sure he didn’t slip up, well not in any area he is aware of. perhaps you told childe, but you rarely even talk to scara himself during the school day so that isn't an option.
“what? you look like you've seen a ghost. you aren't that hard to figure out scara. your eyes drag when they're close by, you never give anyone that time of day,” the redhead explains.
“anyway,” childe sighs as he gets up from the desk, “hey you wouldn't mind if I take a few boxes from your stash, i wanna give something to tonia, teucer and anthon.”
“all yours.”
“thanks, buddy,” the orange-headed boy smiled as he ruffled scaramouche’s hair.
scaramouche waved him off as he exited the room, which left him in this lone classroom. the boy sighed as he started to settle back down into what he was originally doing. picking back up his pen to start writing until he was interrupted once again.
knock, knock.
looking over for the second time to see you poking your head through the doorway. “childe told me you here by the way.” you beam as you let yourself in. it makes his heart flutter; your smile. it’s sweet, the genuine kind, as opposed to chocolate which needs sugar to mask its bitterness. to him you’re like dark chocolate. the kind that isn’t overly sweet. and though still bitter, that's the part he enjoys most.
“do you want some?” scara offered as he waved the assorted box of chocolates in front of you. “i got them on the way here,” the boy clarified just in case. “sure,” you shortly responded before snatching the box from his grasp. “so you told childe?” you asked as you started to tear the plastic wrapping around the box. “i didn't tell him anything,” he begins as you inspect the packaging of the chocolate. turning over the box you notice the price sticker is still on.
“wait, 10,000 mora?” the boy pauses his explanation to look at you, “kuni, your fangirls are treating you so well. you should go thank them,” you teased as you placed one of them in your mouth. “mmh, I will say, they’re are worth at least half of all that mora, the texture is lovely.”
the upturned corners of scara’s lips are now apparent as he watches you devour most of the chocolate. he’s glad you enjoyed them otherwise he wouldn’t know who else to turn to. in all honesty, scaramouche feels strange, this year valentines aren’t like all those years before. he still is bombarded with tens and tens of gifts however he has someone to go to after school rather than home alone this year. and though he is at peace, he still has one more thing on his mind.
“do my uh— fan.. girls bother you?” the boy blurts out.
you almost spit out your chocolates yet you end up choking on them instead. after calming down you decide to speak, “is that what's been on your mind the entire time? don't tell me. did childe say something that made you think that?”
“n-no.”
quickly, you get up from your seat to wrap your arms around your boyfriend's slim figure, “aw my poor baby, there's no need to worry.” you pout, your body hanging over his shoulders.
“i wasn't worried,” scara denies.
“aww, my prince was worried. there's no nothing to be ashamed of, i'll have you know i have my own set of fangirls, so if you were to be worried i’d hope it would be that instead.” scara only shakes his head in shame before taking the last chocolate from the box. notably faster than you did. “I thought you said you didn't like sweet things.” you questioned, raising him a brow as you waited for a response.
“i don't but this one's dark chocolate.”
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@ miokki 2023
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silent-raven13 · 7 months
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Quenepas!
(If ya'll never try Quenepas/Mamones/Mamoncillos or in English term Spanish Limes, ya'll are missing out. They are so good! 🤤)
(Warning: Hobie 18 and Miles is 17 and they do a bit of touching. I put a warning bc I know some readers don't like reading high school stuff like this. You been warned.)
"It's amazing my brother was able to find a whole bulk of Quenepas!" Rio smiles widely having one of her favorite fruits in the sink to wash them, "These are amazing healthy snack for you papi!"
Jeff saw the two large boxes of Spanish Limes, "Wow, there's a lot of these things. Are you sure we can finish this?"
"Mi amor, I've been carving for these for the longest." Her small baby bump shows her three month pregnancy. "and they are a way better snack than your donuts."
"You know, not all cops like donuts." Jeff pouts at his wife.
His wife side eye him, "I know you eat at least five of those Dunkin' donuts. You need to start watching what you eat! You're gonna be having another kid and you need to be able get old till you're eighty!" She went to fix her husband's Chief uniform, noticing his tie being off. "You have to be ready for this long journey." She smiles.
"I know. I know. I'll pack some." The middle age man said having to rub his neck, "But will that cancel out a burger?"
"Jeff! How about a salad! Look I already pack your lunch." She handed him, his lunch bag, "The doctor said you need to watch your cholesterol and blood pressure. Less fat, and more greens."
"Awwwe, but is burger Wednesday!"
His wife gave him the death glare that made him shut up real quick. "Okay, Salad Wednesday! I'll eat all this, baby. Love you." He nervously said giving a kiss on the cheek. "Your always right."
"That's what I like to hear!" She smirks widely in approval.
Miles came out of his room being surprised from the boxes of his favorite fruit. "Whoa! Tío brought all these! Yummy!" He happily went over to the clean batches to take one, he first bite around the hard peel then pop the round fruit to suckle on it. "Mmm, so good!"
Quenepas are these green oval balls covered in a thin layer with an orange transparent pulp wrapped around the seed inside. It has a sweet citrus lime taste perfect for the summer, it's refreshing and addicting to eat by its unique flavor. Miles love them so much he tends to eat most of the bag without a thought. It's so delicious that him and his mom always ask their relatives to buy bulks in areas around heavy Puerto Rican/Latinos fruit sellers.
Luckily Miles' uncle was able to find a good deal with two boxes full of Quenepas! Now, he can eat them without worrying about leaving some to his mom. "Mmm, these are so good!" He hops up and down finish suckling the pulp leaving the seed, spitting it out to throw it in the trash.
Rio happily eats one, "These are better than the last bulk. Your tío knows how to pick them. Now, I'ma take some for work. Miles, there's leftovers from last night and pizza from Thursday, okay? If you want to order food tu papà left money on the table."
"Twenty five dollars, right here, son!" Jeff put the cash on the dinning table.
"Okay, thanks dad." Miles smiles being happy he's all alone today. The perfect Saturday, where he can be Spider-man for the day and night just chill.
"Okay, I gotta head to work. See you guys later. Rio take it easy at work. You're pregnant remember." Jeff kisses his wife on the cheek.
"I know. I know." Rio laughs then kisses her husband's cheek. "Bye, mi amor." Then she went over to give Miles hugs and kisses, "Bye, mi vida. Mi bebé!"
"Mamí!" Miles getting his mother's kisses being smothered.
"Be good, okay! Also lock the doors and don't go to the fire escape!"
Miles rolled his eyes. After his parents left, he ate his breakfast and finished his report early. Then he went to spend all day as Spider-man, fighting off some villains here and there. It was a simple day, when he got home he took the twenty five dollars to put in his wallet. If he doesn't order anything with it, his dad let him have it for safe keeping.
The seventeen year old got a bowl of his favorite fruits to enjoy for the night. "Gonna watch some Full Metal Alchemist with some chips, soda and Quenepas!" He happily skips over to his couch and grab his remote to turned on his television to put on his stream. He sips on his soda, "Mmm."
He wore a white tank top with some lime green shorts being barefoot with his hairy legs kicking back and forth. "Mmm, these are so good." He suckles on his favorite fruit.
Unaware of someone coming inside through Miles' fire escape window, with heavy thick combat boots stepping inside with a heavy thud. Miles relax in the living room watching his favorite show and texting Ganke about the episode he finished. "Episode was dope. I'ma try to finish the season tonight."
Ganke texted him with a smiley face. The figure walks carefully not triggering Miles' spidey sense, but his other senses, "Baby, what are you trying to do?"
"Awe, I thought I was giving you a scare, luv." His punker boyfriend pout at him.
"Your boots always makes a loud sound. I'm Spider-man for a reason, bae." His Sunflower's doe eyes looks up at him with a small smirk on his face.
"Yeah, you're right. And you possibly knew I was coming by, huh?" Hobie jumps over the couch to sit next to his cute boyfriend. The cushions bouncy up and down making Miles move his bag of chips away from his boyfriend's side.
Hobie grins widely as he lay on his Miles, "Duh, you're my boyfriend. I know, you always want to visit me whenever I'm free or my parents aren't around." His cute darling smirks at him while eating an odd fruit.
"Darling, what are you eating?" Hobie asked being confused.
Miles set his empty glass bottle of cola on the ground, his mouth suckling the sweet citrus fruit, "Quenepas!"
"What?"
"Quenepas! Oh right, that's what Puerto Ricans call these. Um... I think Central Americans call them Mamones." Miles pointed out, as he let Hobie hold the small oval shape fruit. "They're like little gum balls."
"Yeah, and you call them what? Queen-Quene-passe?" Hobie tries to pronounce the word. His fingers hold the fruit like a piece of gem to study it.
"Quenepas! Jamaicans called them, Ginep or Guenepa."
"Ooh, I've heard of these before." Hobie heard it from his childhood friends that use to visit their relatives in Jamaica. "I never tried them."
"Make sense, these are mostly from the Americans. You wanna try it?" Miles asked.
"Yes, luv. How do you eat it?"
"Easy. You just do this," His boyfriend put half of the oval shape fruit in his mouth, he snuck his teeth hard enough to rip open the thick leather-like cover. "Then, you just open the half part." He uses his mouth to take off the peel to reveal the pretty pulp. "This is the pulp, the good part and it covers the seed. So you just pop it in your mouth and suck on it."
"Suck on it?" Hobie's face froze, he turns pink thinking of dirty thoughts.
"Yeah," His boyfriend being naive as always with his honey-brown eyes glued on his show. "These taste like sweet limes. So good. Try it!"
Hobie hold his fruit in his hand to do what Miles did. First, he bit around the peel then pull it away. His dark eyes saw the light orange pulp covering the seed, his mouth opens wide as he pops it inside.
Miles watches his boyfriend's eyes lit up by the fruit. "Good, huh?"
"Luv, these are delicious. It got that bitter taste to it from the lime, too."
"Right, it gives it a nice flavor!" Miles spit the seed out of his mouth to put it in a separate bowl were all the discarded seeds and peels went to. "These are one of my favorite fruits."
"Mmm," Hobie spit the seed out of his mouth letting his tongue tingle by the sour sweet taste of the fruit. It's delicious, but not as delicious as watching his Sunflower suckling on them. The way his beautiful plump lips pucker as he eats the fruit. This gives Hobie an idea, a delightful idea that a wide smirk spread on his face.
"Sunflower, these are good, but I want to try something with these?" The eighteen year old punker hold another fruit quickly opening the peel to put the fruit in his mouth.
"What?" Miles face his boyfriend being caught off guard by Hobie's lips. "Mmmm!" Honey brown eyes widen when he felt his boyfriend's tongue and the Quenepas rolling around between they're tongues.
"Mmm," Hobie groans as he got on top of his Sunflower as they have a heated make out.
Miles' cheeks felt warm being bashful, almost turned on as his tongue plays around with Hobie's. They were still in the beginning of their relationship, so tongue kissing isn't something Miles is good at. He's still shy about their heated kisses and hand holding, because he believes Hobie can do so much better without him.
Their first kiss wasn't as romantic as Miles wanted it to be, because of his lack of experience Hobie gave him a peck on the lips. From the beginning all they did was a simple kiss on the cheek or hand hold, all because the Black Latino isn't use to anything else. This made him more upset with himself, he wants to prove he can try new things instead of being coddle or treated like a delicate little flower. He wants to be daring, sexy and pleased his boyfriend the same way he does with him.
Their tongues play with the fruit having drool coming down their corner of their lips, the sweet taste of the fruit gave a euphoric pleasure running through their bodies. "Ohhh," Miles groans in the back of their throat, "Mmm."
"Mmm," Hobie purrs, letting his tongue flap around his pretty Sunflower's delicious mouth. Their plump lips suckle on the fruit letting their tongues push the seed back and forth. The sounds of their lips smacking got their bodies hot, their lower region a bit harder.
Miles' tongue was a bit weaker, more submissive than Hobie's dominant mouth. His boyfriend is hungry for him, so hungry, Miles could hear his heart beating rapidly. Their Spidey senses kicking high gear, it's nothing they ever felt before.
They could feel it trying to bond with one another, understand each other without saying a word. It's like their Spider senes are communicating based on instincts. Miles' eyes met dark beautiful brown eyes as if they were trying to understand that each other in a much deeper level. They could feel their Spider senses clicking after Hobie gently let Miles take over their kiss.
Click.
Miles'a own hands pulled Hobie into that deep kiss again, this time his teeth nibbling on his man's bottom lip. Their Spider senses now in tune. "Mmm!" They felt their cheeks warm, Miles' eyes being teary from all the feel good pleasure and want from his partner. His legs wrapped around Hobie's waist, letting his hips grind against him.
The punker's hands gripping on couch trying to support himself while Miles' hands wrapped around his face. They keep kissing till they felt the need to pull away. "Mmm!" They both moan again, the sound of the couch and television play in their ears.
Their teeth would nibble a bit of their lips and tongue. Miles felt Hobie's teeth sinking in a bit harder making him shiver with delight. That feels good. The young teenager tries to copy every movement to get better at kissing, he was tired of pecks and small kisses. He wants this.
When Hobie finally pulled away to catch his breath, he could feel his crotch hard, his breathing heavy. Their tongues left a trail of salvia as Miles lay his head on the couch with his teeth holding the seed. The sight of the young Spider-man's swollen plump lips being wrapped around the seed was to tempting for Hobie.
It made him want to do something more. "Hobie..." Miles muffled his words.
"Luv?" Hobie leans over to kiss his cheek, "I overdid, didn't I."
Feeling Hobie's warm breath on his left ear made Miles shudder again. "Mm-Mm." He shook his head. Their bodies were needing each other, they were begging to go further, but- There is always a but, Miles wasn't ready.
Hobie can tell his precious Sunflower is nervous. After all, this is their first time tongue kissing like this. "Miles..." He finally said before he sat back up to help his Sunflower sit back up.
The seventeen year old spit out the clean seed in his hand, he felt bashful, again. "Hobie, we kissed!"
"We always kiss, luv."
"No, we... tongue kiss." He shyly said, "My lips feel weird." He touch them feeling the soft soreness, it doesn't hurt.
"Heh, did you like it?"
Miles turns to him, "Hobie, I wanna kiss like that again!" Then he pouts, "But its okay we only take it slow."
"Sunflower," Hobie's hand caress his beautiful boyfriend's cheek, "You can take as long as you want."
Miles' eyes gleams with love, he quickly took another Quenepas with the peel off. Popping the fruit in his mouth. Then tackle down his boyfriend for another kiss. "Your mine, Hobie Brown!"
"That's what I like to hear, luv." Hobie purrs as they kiss again.
Ever since that day, Quenepas had became Hobie's favorite fruit.
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whoslaurapalmer · 3 months
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you can do readmores on mobile???? since when??????? goddamn!!!!!!!!!!!
so my mom is like probably fine and honestly she's been doing really well since her surgery in September and healing up really nicely!!!!! and after the surgery she gets 3 more rounds of chemo and then she's on ⭐️maintenance⭐️ for 2 years which is Not Chemo so her hair grows back which I am, very much looking forward to. anyway she was supposed to have a treatment today (the first of the 3rd round) but they called yesterday and said "you know you don't have to come in tomorrow, right?" and we were like. what. why did no one tell us until now. so now she doesn't have her third round until January 12th which is also my brother's birthday and I don't know if she'll be home from the office in time without rushing around and she keeps saying that we can do my brothers birthday on the 13th and he won't mind but //i// mind!!!!!!!! I just. Love my birthday. And I think all birthdays should be special. And I want his to be special too 😟
so anyway my mom is as you might expect just from seeing my anxiety, also a very anxious person (where else would I get it from.) and she keeps a lot of tension in her stomach so being told she didn't have a treatment today ONLY YESTERDAY clearly threw her whole system off and today her stomach really hurt and it got to the point where she decided to go to the emergency room (which she never does so it was not a lightly made decision) and asked my aunt to drive her and i came too bc my mom wanted me to so that's where I've been all afternoon!!!!!! sitting in my aunts car in the parking lot of the hospital, alternately reading and crying!!!!!!!! and I mean she's probably fine!!!!!! there's no reason she wouldn't be!!!!!! it's probably just gas stuck somewhere, because she's been doing so well otherwise and her cancer numbers on her blood work are FIFTEEN!!!!!!!! IN THE NORMAL NORMAL RANGE FOR A HUMAN BEING!!!!!!!! THERE IS MOST LIKELY NOTHING TERRIBLY WRONG!!!!!!! SHE JUST HAS A LOT OF ANXIETY AND A SENSITIVE STOMACH!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT ELSE CAN I THINK!!!!!!!!!!!! but they have to do all the tests and stuff that people do at the emergency room including a CT scan and that takes, an age, and like, no I don't want to go home!! I don't mind sitting in the parking lot!!!!! I really dont!!!!!!! I am a seasoned waiting room player and that involves waiting in cars, too!!!!!! I brought Stuff!!!!!!! but I probably should bc it's not like I can DO anything sitting in the car and she's probably just worrying about me sitting out here (although it's a very mild 55 degrees today, quite frankly would've been a great day for a walk I tell you what.) and I probably should just let my aunt drive me home so I can, be home and eat dinner and let my aunt stay here bc who knows how long they will have to be here!! but I don't know if I want to!!!!!! BUT I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE ANYTHING IS GONNA GO REALLY WRONG, RIGHT??????? ALSO I NEED A STUPID TISSUE AND I DONT KNOW WHY I DONT HAVE ANY IN THIS HONESTLY ENORMOUS PURSE SO I HAVE TO KEEP WIPING MY NOSE ON MY MASK WHICH AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE IS GROSS!!!! (I'm not WEARING it while ALONE in the car but I wore it while my aunt was driving and when she comes out to ask how I am.) I don't know. I don't know if I feel lonely sitting out here so much as just upset. It's not even 4:30 yet and the lights are coming on in the parking lot. and I didn't text my brother to tell him bc why worry him??? Someone should be having a decent fucking afternoon!!!!!!!!!
also --
every nurse that passes by my mom, apparently: oh! you're shaking, are you cold? can I get you a blanket?
my mom: NO
my aunt: she's not cold!! just anxious!!!!!!!
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forbidding-souda · 2 years
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How's life with hubby?
Oh my goodness so fucking good thank you for asking. He's sleeping rn and I just opened my phone to text him to wake his ass up. We ate dinner together yesterday and it was very nice I like eating dinner with him bc we get ice cream afterwards and then he'll order the same thing as me and pretend as if it was an accident and then lets me eat some of his ice cream (i love him so much).
He was back at his home uuhh wednesday-friday so saturday (yesterday) he came back and we were together for like. 8 hours.
He's been doing his dumb fucking work all day bc he can work at home ('home') and he took a break at 3 and it's 5 now and I'm like okay bud two hours is too long i'm about to intervene. i've been sitting in a library working on my d&d campaign like yawn yawn.
I'm gonna see if I can convince him to eat dinner with me again. he's kinda an introvert but at the same time he loves me so it's a real internal conflict that I personally have a bias-
He works at schools so he was able to maneuver his way to my uni on most days and go back to the main one he works at for most of the week. which, i didn't even know he can do this. but oh my god I get to see him. it's. amazing. arguably i see him more than before I went to this uni.
Whenever he's on campus I use findmy to look at his location and sometimes i'll be late to class because i'm trying to manuever myself away from the direction he's walking bc I don't want him to see me with my monday-morning clothes and tired face as if we don't share a bed half of the time like okay i guess campus life moment.
He doordashes us popeyes sometimes.
I force him to order starbucks for me which is really funny because he's like "can you orde-" *i've already taken off my hearing aids*
I don't live with him or anything bc I'm still in school but once I'm grad and settled I'm gonna force my way into his house like some form of vermin. i am a parasite to his side mwahahaha he can't get rid of me.
anyway never let your history major husband read any of your creative writing bc he turns into an editor for some fucking reason god damn. i'm taking back the copy of my book i gave him because bro put on his reading glasses and practically took out a red pen I was like okay your consumer privilege is revoked.
He got a cat! I got to name it and such (Zuggtmoy after the d&d character {i'm trying to get him into d&d and he's vaguely interested so- actually my friends who mostly haven't met him btw just recently like mildly saw him because they came over while he was upstairs hiding and i called him down for a moment to ask him a question so it was like the first time they had ever seen him aaannnnddd they said i should invite him to join our campaign and i asked him and he AGREED so he's gonna be playing d&d with me and my friends starting like october 13th help} because she's my fav npc ever i love Out of the Abyss why is it unironically so good unpopular opinion). It's a kitten he found on the road and whenever I go to his place I play with it a lot.
Anyway you guys should ask about him more I need excuses to talk about him.
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hoochieblues · 1 year
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15 Questions
tagged by @highwayphantoms tysm <3 idk if i have 15 mutuals who wanna do tag games rn, sooo YOU. YES YOU. you're jumped in if you want to be :)
Are you named after anyone?
I picked my own. :) It's inspired by trees and - if you translate it - also works as a stripper name. Just in case!
When was the last time you cried?
A month or so maybe? I did get a lil misty watching foster dog run around like a normal canine last week, especially when he put weight on his wonky leg. He's had a lot of PT and it's paying off!
Do you have kids?
Nope.
Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Me? Perish the thought. /s
What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Probably always kindness, whether it's online or in person.
What's your eye color?
blue/gray I guess?
Scary movies or happy endings?
Why not both? I like both, but I'll rarely turn down a horror movie. I'm still evangelising about Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977) to anyone who'll listen, bc the world's a better place when you can watch weird artsy indie trash with friends.
Any special talents?
ummm… I'm going to say weighing ingredients accurately without measuring, but that may more likely be practise and recklessness rather than talent.
Where were you born?
Within the same 30 miles that half my dreadful fambly have lived for literally 500 years, but we left before I was 18 months old and didn't go back for over a decade and then I escaped again. The next time I move will be #26, so it's fair to say I've bounced around.
What are your hobbies?
In no particular order, reading, writing, movies, knitting/crochet/fiber thingies, growing stuff, fixing stuff, animal rescue/welfare stuff, painting/sketching, music (listening/playing… poorly), photography (mostly analog; I love my shitty Soviet cameras and Polaroids), hiking when I can. Poking around thrift/antique stores/museums in places I haven't been. If I collect anything per se, it's recipes and myths/folklore.
Have you any pets?
No permanent residents rn, but two foster dogs, one short term (hopefully; she just needs to complete leash training and get a little clearer on the difference between Inside and Outside, otherwise she's a sweetheart) and one long term project dog. In his defence, he came to me semi-feral and had been through a particularly brutal kill shelter. He has a lot of scarring both internal and external. Took 6 months+ to touch him, and now he'll walk on a slip lead for me (sometimes) and (gasp!) voluntarily snuggle and ask for pets. If he can get over yelling at and/or trying to defensively herd anyone who isn't me, he's got a shot at a new home, at which point I will ugly cry but be so, so happy for him.
…I like talking about my fosters. Rehab project tax (Chance):
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What sports do you play/have played?
I preferred weights n stuff when I was younger bc I detested team sports, but tennis, badminton, swimming etc are fun. I used to ride whenever I could with the fleeting ambition to one day do point to point and dressage, but a) equestrian shit is a time-consuming and expensive hobby (even if you know ppl with horses) and b) I had an argument with a fence post and broke bits of myself, and by the time that all healed up I'd developed unrelated chronic fatigue. Mostly I hang out with horses on the ground now, but I'd get back into it if I could.
How tall are you?
Five eight, billed height. Probably a bit less, idk. I stoop and I don't do all the pilates for my back that I should.
Favorite subject in school?
I was a horrible, horrible theater kid. Not even in the three a.m. Denny's way (I can't sing). The black turtleneck and Brecht way. Yes, I am still ashamed.
Dream job?
I'm very fortunate, so more or less what I do, but with less freelancing to stop up the gaps and more writing things I'm proud of in genres I love. I'm trying to move more towards that at the moment. Oh, and a lot less proofreading. Grammer iz hurd.
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porcelainchurch · 2 years
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updates !!! tw numbers
i bought myself a scale about a week ago oops, checked my weight today and it's 41.6kg which makes my bmi 15.4 and it feels kinda crazy bc i don't look like i've lost any weight whatsoever,,,, i overate today but it's okay bc it's rare for me to overeat these days bc most of the time i just can't get myself to eat anything so weight loss happens pretty much effortlessly at this point :,) i guess i should be concerned but i'm not, i'll get sick in no time this way
i came home after staying a couple nights at my bf's place (it was lovely to see him after like a month even though i've been really depressed he's very understanding and gentle ab it<3) and i've been crying the whole afternoon😵‍💫😵‍💫part of me misses him but a bigger part of me is just scared? i have no idea of what but i'm just really scared?? like i'm scared of being too intense and scaring him off or letting myself fully let my guard down and then he gets sick of me and leaves or maybe i'm taken aback by how sincerely good he is to me and i don't know how to recieve that kind of warmth because i'm scared i'll hold it too tight and break it or maybe i fear that (no matter how unlikely) i'll be abandoned again at my most vulnerable or maybe i just don't know what to do with it at all because i lack the capacity to want things for myself
on top of that i'm kind of in a honeymoon stage again when it comes to my ed like i don't really think of it as a problem at all, but my bf seemed to be kind of worried and softly demanded, or more like begged, me to eat something when i hadn't eaten anything which i then did bc i hate conflict more than i hate myself loll
and now i've been grieving the existence of my eating disorder through his eyes
like i'm sorry to him that i'm this way
and i guess most of all i'm afraid of getting attached to him and letting him get close to me because i'm scared one day i'll get too much for him to handle and he'll have to let go of me and leave and i guess i'm subconsciously trying to save myself from that experience of abandonment at all costs even though that scenario relies on a bunch of 'what if's
because i know how hard he's worked to get his shit together and i don't wanna be the thing to tear him down
it's not that i don't believe him when he says he loves me but it's hard for me to trust that it'll last
anyway i desperately need therapy but i'm not allowed therapy because of my ed🥳
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mxnjiros · 2 years
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Tell me about moving in with your significant other (any or all): what’s the style of the place??? The aesthetic or vibes if you will. Who does what chores?? Do y’all cook or eat out. Pets?
I'm finally answering this!!!
I've decided to stick with my main self ship, aka Kakey (Kat + Mikey)
If I would have done all 3 self ships, it would have been a 10 page essay 😭😭😭
Also I probably go into too much detail, Oops. Sorry in advance.
Moving in with Mikey was completely backwards.
Sleep overs between us where a once in a while thing that happened more often after toman disbanded. Slowly the sleepovers became more frequent and regular, and once we started dating they increased form staying the night to spending the weekend.
He started only being a backpack with the essentials, and then he brought a bigger bag, and then he started leaving his stuff at my place. Once he stated leaving things at my place he also went from spending the weekend to spending a couple of weekdays to spending every night at my place.
Granted, he sometimes came home in the early hours of the morning, but I'd always wake up with his arms around me. This was probably our arrangement for a good 6 months until my lease ran out and I had to find a new place. This is when he told me he had a place, and obviously my jaw hit the floor, we had a huge fight about it bc why had he been spending all this time at my place when we could easily have moved to his!!!
Well, because of that fight he was stuck moving all my things to his almost empty apartment. Once I was fully moved in, he refused to let me pay any bills or rent what so ever, telling me I needed to focus in school and work.
His apartment, it's in one of those high rise buildings, we keep it minimalist because I hate clutter, but he has a wall full of pictures of the Toman days. He also has several pictures of KMG as well as pictures celebrating the formation of Bonten and the yearly celebration for it.
I love to cook for us and I usually do when I'm not swamped with school or work, so Mikey usually has one of his men drop off food at our place from one of my favorite places. If he is coming home at a reasonable time and he knows I'm busy he gets us food from his favorite place and plenty of sweets.
I do almost all the chores, but if he has a day that he spends most of his time at home, he does little things here and there without me having to ask. His main chore is taking out the trash and he does it happily because he knows how much I hate it.
As of right now we have no pets, mainly because I'm allergic to cats and he doesn't want to risk me being allergic to anything else. Also our apartment is definitely not conducive to having pets.
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horrorpopchuchu · 3 months
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tw// sexual harassment??
ok, thats kinda sick and gross and i can't stop thinking abt it. yesterday was a really shit day and i'm not comfortable to tell anyone from my family.
my best friend wanted hang out with me bcs she doesn't have anyone else to go out (we kind of only have each other as friends), but i wasn't really in the mood because the last weeks of 2023 i have been helping my parents with work and other stuff. the point here is, i've told her thousand times that i was tired, not in the mood or without money and she always ignores it. this is something that has been annoying me through the last year, but i was ok until now.
this christmas she called me crying bcs she was feeling down bcs all the thing that she wanted to go out but her mother doesn't let her go out alone bcs she is overprotective and then we decised that we where going on a museum that i wanted to go this tuesday (yesterday) and my younger sister wanted to go with us too.
just to start, her parents took us by car to the place, which isn't something bad and they are really kind people but i feel tense when im with them so it's something uncomfortable to me.
the museum was really interesting (it was free and im thinking im going back there another day bcs i was frustrated after all) but i felt that neither my sister nor my friend was really interested so it was a kick ride.
then we walked around the neighborhood after going home and then things started to getting weird. the tension was heavy in the air and in a stupid attempt, that worked, to make things less tense my friend started to expose things about me to my sister, let me down and talk about things that isn't really health to say infront of a kid.
continuing our walk we walked past a parking lot that had a group of men and they started with the harassment to us and unfortunately we had to walk past them again to go back to the avenue and then to the convenience store.
at this point i was grossed out, tired and hopping for a lightning to stroke me and that girl didn't stopped talking about how she wanted to go back to the parking lot and if it wasn't me she could be doing something more interesting rn. i was scared, unbelieved, and just wanted to go home.
at the store, while we waited for her parents to take us, i bought something to me and my sister eat and as if everything already wasn't enough she was stealing things. the lady in cash register realized that we were a bit apprehensive and looked at me in the eyes and said that if there was anything or anyone bothering us we could say to them and they would help, she was so gentle that i wanted to cry but things was "ok". it all ended when her parents came and let me and sister in home.
so yeah i fucking agree with her mom, the only difference is that she doesn't know that her daughter wanted to give attention to random man saying gross things to girls in the street, stealing small stores or wanting to show her boobs to man passing in cars (which not happened this times but in other days).
i don't know what im going to do abt her but i do know that i'll avoid with every cell of my being going out with her at least this month.
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Word vomit vent/thoughts about ed under the cut. Draft that's been sitting for a few months now.
I've very recently realized I've NEVER had a normal/healthy relationship with food.
I started restricting to lose weight when I was on the opposite end of it all and constantly gorged myself uncontrollably and I didnt know WHY... and suddenly deciphered the reasons and feelings and realized I COULD DO WHATEVER I WANTED WITH FOOD.
When I was little - and I'm talking starting in 1st grade or kindergarten - my mother would send me to school with a lunch box stuffed with mostly just snack foods. Then when I came home she would take my lunch box from me and go through it to see if I "ate enough" for HER judgement. If I didn't "eat enough" i would get in trouble.
I got in trouble A LOT.
I have distinct memories of giving my food away or just straight up throwing it away so it would appear that I had "ate enough".
If I dared to get hot lunch oh boy I had better have what I ate memorized when I got home. Because if I couldn't remember or if she didnt deem it "enough" I would get in trouble.
If we went out to eat I would often get in trouble for not "eating enough". Even when I was full.
I developed a habit of constantly gorging myself to the point of making myself sick to avoid getting in trouble.
This shit started when I was fucking 4!!
I get why she did it. Or at least what she told me. It was bc she was worried about my hypoglycemia. But forcing your kid to constantly gorge themselves on anything and everything to the point of sickness is NOT helpful. A balanced well rounded meal would have been helpful. But nah. Fuck that.
It didn't help that on top of this my mother was obsessed with her own weight and constantly dieted but was always heavier and she shit talked herself CONSTANTLY and still does to this day.
There isnt even a single photo in existence of when she was pregnant with me. Because "I was fat when I was pregnant" "I was ugly when I was pregnant" "You made me fat" "You made me ugly" "Its your fault my stomach is fat"
Anyways after I earned enough money and got my own place at 22 during the first visit to my new place my mother dug through my entire kitchen and grilled me on what I had been eating.
I was 22 for fucks sake.
I do remember fighting with her and telling her off bc I was sick of her being OBSESSED with my food intake.
So I constantly gorged myself. All the time. And I hated it bc my stomach hurt all the time. But I had this guilt and fear that it was never enough even though I ate so much i was sick.
Then one day it all just clicked. I was at work. I dont even remember what I was doing. But it clicked that I never had to gorge myself on food again if I didnt want to and all the reasons why I constantly did that were so clear.
And I just IMMEDIATELY spiraled the opposite way.
I keep seeing posts on the dangers of restricting and eating disorders. And I thought. They're right. It's scary. I need to work on having a healthy relationship with food.
And I realized I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD IS. I legitimately have no idea. I dont understand anything about the idea.
I've had unhealthy relationships with food and shitty body image shoved down my throat since I was in literal DIAPERS.
So now I'm restricting bc I'm getting older and I cant get fat when I'm older. I've been lucky that I had a high metabolism and lots of hard physical work growing up so I never got obese even with the constant overeating but I can see the chub in old photos.
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miedei · 3 years
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Hiiii, could you do a ‘night date w enhypen’??? Like going to night market or just staying in a 24hrs cafe? Thank youuu so much!!
hi love, thanks for requesting!! <33
late nights with enha.
v v shameless plug but i wrote something similar to this (but longer) a few weeks ago with ni-ki if you wanna check it out!
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heeseung
he shows up at your door at 3 am, ready to drag you out of bed
"we're going on a date!"
he has a little picnic setup in a park nearby
uses the your phones as lights bc he's too scared to light candles
he brings little cups of fruit and hot chocolate in a tumbler
he's so cute 🥺
lies down in the grass with you after you're done eating and wonders aloud about your future
"i'm gonna take you here again in a year"
jay
the two of you were at the dorms
and since neither of you had work/school in the morning, he brings you out to get some food
goes to the closest convenience store to get ramen and other small snacks
the two of you sit outside the store and talk and talk
about anything and everything
once the sun has started to emerge from the darkness he walks you home
and leaves you at the door with a kiss 😩
jake
you called him at 2 am ish
"i can't sleep :(("
once he gets the idea he just hangs up with no warning
and he bolts out of bed to go get you
you're scared out of your mind when you see him outside your window
and you let him in hurriedly
"what are you doing???"
"let's go an a date!"
he takes you to the public pool nearby
the two of you swim until the sunrise appears
he brings you home and leaves with a peck on your forehead ✨
sunghoon
had been planning it for a while
you had fallen asleep on his shoulder and he waited until midnight to wake you up
"let's go let's go i've got a date planned"
"hoon it's fucking midnight what date are we going on now"
he drags you outside despite your protests
and once you arrive at your destination you're still knuckling at your eyes
he opens an unknown building with a key
but when you walk inside and he turns on the lights
you see an ice rink, completely empty
he'd convinced one of his figure skating instructors to let him come in after hours
he teaches you figure skating until dawn cute cute cute
sunoo
the two of you were hopped up on sugar at like 1 am when you came up with the idea
"let's go on a date!"
you drag him outside and to a little patch of trees
you climb up onto one of them, gesturing for him to follow you
once you near the area of the tree that can't take your weight
you sit down on a thick branch, sunoo next to you
he puts his arm over your shoulders and pulls you into him
and you stay that way until you absolutely have to go home
jungwon
the two of you are really bored and not at all sleepy
so around three you run up to the roof of the building
your hushed giggles the only sound around
you run around the roof a little, and then jungwon puts on some music
"dance with me dance with me"
so you dance with him who would say no to him
and the two of you end up slow dancing to doja cat at like 5 am
ni-ki
it was one of the rare days where neither of you had to do anything for the next 24 hours
so of course you're making the most of it
why go to sleep when you can hang out?
you decide to go to a park really early in the morning/late at night
a little children's playground, suited for kings and queens
and that's what you are
kings and queens of your own little kingdom
you play and scream in excitement till the wee hours of the morning
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I've been having a bad couple of days and my coworker was yet an asshole again and we got into it so here are headcanons with my twilight comfort character to make me feel better :)
Fluff headcanons for Edward with a so dealing with an asshole coworker
~When you come in and tell him about the your rude coworker he immediately wants to go talk to the person he doesn't think you deserve that
~He'll hold you and let you rant about them and talk about how rude they are to you and treat you like you don't know how to do your job
~He tells you to not to worry about it which confuses you but you decide to just forget about for the day and go to bed
The scenario is under the keep reading bc the bad boy got longer than I thought it would :')
The next day when you go to work it got bad again with you and coworker making snappy comments and them trying to boss you around . The next thing you know your lover walks through the door which surprised you he never really came to your job unannounced even then he would only come if he was taking you home or to bring you lunch. You walked over there since it wasn't busy and greeted him,
"What are you doing here Eddy? My lunch isn't until later?"
"Can I not come see my dove at work I just like seeing you doing human things it's very interesting to me plus, where's a better place to do "homework" then a café?"
Of course he said that with his goofy smirk your coworkers were used to seeing your lover and had greeted as they passed some making jokes about the clumsy stuff you had done at work that day. They asked him had wanted anything and to put the human front he just asked for a water and went and sat at the table and did 'work'. The question to why he was there still puzzled you but you just went on your way doing your job and making drinks and glancing every now and again to see what he was doing he would be reading a book he brought or just be watching you work all was peaceful until your rude coworker made a snarky comment that you didn't hear since you had turned away to talk to a customer,
"They think their so good just because they talk to customers they should be over here doing their job" (yes he has made a comment like this before to me and I didn't realize it until my friend/coworker told me about it)
Edward of course had heard that and immediately glared daggers at the coworker he loved watching you talk to people and he knew your manager did too since she had complimented you and bragged to you about it in front of him which was very proud of but even if your manager didn't brag about you it still gave them no right to talk about you . He could hear the snarky comments in your coworkers brain starting from when he walked through doors where he heard things about how you shouldn't be talking to him and that you needed to stop being lazy and do your job. Edward had enough when a certain thought ran through your coworkers head
"They should be fired they don't deserve to work here and they need to stop acting like they know everything"
He decided to wait until you went on your break to ask to personally speak to your manager about the problems enough was enough, when you went on your break you told him you were going to bathroom and then you two could go grab something to eat. Edward made he's way to the counter and had asked if he could have a word with your manager in private real quick. When pulled aside Edward explained had been happening and how it had been happening for a while now and sometimes you even come home crying over how upset over the comments you coworker said to you. Your manager was shocked to say the least and promised they would talk to your coworker and apologized that they didn't catch onto it quicker. When you came out of the bathroom you found Edward talking to your manager which made you rise an eyebrow. He smiled and gave you kiss and grabbed your hand.
"What was that about?"
"Oh nothing know how about I buy you some lunch?"
After that Edward had stayed for the rest of your shift it turns out he had just ran to your job so he just rode back home with you he still wouldn't tell you what he had talked about your manger with. The next day when you went to work your coworker gave you no problems meaning your day with way smoother. When you got off you were happy to tell Edward that your coworker had left you alone! Which he smiled at and was happy for, deep down you feel like Edward had something to do with this..
~FIN~
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Sorry for how long this is! This was kinda of a vent writing for me :')
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sckyie · 3 years
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song: driver’s license by olivia rodrigo
word count: 2.5k
genre + warnings: angst; swearing, fear of driving, reminiscing in old memories
pronouns used: she/her
a/n: this was orignially supposed to just be an imagine inspired by the song, not apart of the song series but it fits too well to not change oikawa’s song. i also wrote this for @kybabi​​ bc i love her :D n e wayz enjoy :) (part 2)
"So here you're going to turn and he'll make you do a parallel park in the street. You remember how to do that right?" Oikawa asked as he guided you to the next turn. As you turn the steering wheel, you spot a crowded curbside.
"No, can you please please park for me? I hate parallel parking," You pleaded.
"Only because you asked so nicely," He teased.
Ever since you told your best friend that you wanted to learn how to drive, Oikawa never let it go whenever you wanted to hang out. Having you drive him around for practice and giving you tips as you went. He's helped you a ton while you drove around, the only issues you had were parallel parking and merging onto the highway.
"Maybe we should try the highway again," Oikawa said after you two switched seats.
"Are you asking for a death wish?" You joked. "I drive too slow and I'm scare to merge into lanes."
"We can practice on smaller freeways if you want," He asks.
"No," You growled.
It was always a terrifying thing to drive on the highway. You always saw those horrid accidents and feared being in one. Oikawa would always put his hand on your thigh as you merged to calm you down. Just having him be there was enough to get you to get onto the highway. All your fears just faded with him beside you.
Just having this intimate driving lesson with him was enough for you. You grew to fall in love in your best friend. A cliché thing, yet you couldn't say anything. Only you and your girl friends knew about your big crush. It was a funny thing, falling for your childhood best friend. Iwaizumi always joked about you doing so but you never admitted to liking Oikawa. What would that do to your friendship?
Today was the day, it was your test day. The scariest thing you anticipated was finally here. The thing you practiced days on end with Oikawa. The thing that could either make or break you. Today, you'd either come out with your license or you'll be walking home.
The nerves crept up your body like spiders leaving a trail of anxiety webs. You bounced you leg as you waited in the lobby looking out for your driving instructor. As your sweaty palms go to check the time, you notice a text message from Oikawa.
butthead: hey! good luck on your test today!
That's what cooled you down. A simple saying of good fortune will help, right? Sure enough, the test was a breeze, minus the parallel parking as it was the one mistake you got. You happily drove home to tell the news to your parents.
"Have you told Tooru yet?" Your mom asked.
"I'll wait until my actual driver license to prove to him I got it," You smiled.
"You like him don't you?" Your mom gestured to the joy on your face. "I can tell."
"No," You looked away from your mom as she raised her eyebrow. "Okay, maybe but you can't say anything. I'm going to my room now." She chuckled as you dragged you feet to your room.
Two weeks passes and you finally received your license in the mail. You smiled happily down at your new card as you walked outside the school building. You looked up to search for your best friend. Your eyes scanned the courtyard before landing on Iwaizumi. Assuming Oikawa was nearby, you headed towards him.
"Hey Iwa, where's Oiks?" You asked. Iwaizumi raised up his hand and pointed across to the gate. You looked over to find Oikawa talking to Kasumi, a classmate of yours.
"He's asking her to go on a date with him again," Iwaizumi says.
Again? He's done it before?
"Are they dating?" You ask.
"Not yet, Oikawa wants to ask her to be his girlfriend on the date," Iwa explains. "What's that?" He points to your hands as you fiddled with the corner of your driver's license.
"Oh," You said solemnly. "I got my license."
You waved goodbye to your childhood friend before going into he parking lot. Without thinking, you started the car and just began to drive. Out of the school and onto who knows where. Your mind grew blank as you drove.
How could he not mention Kasumi to you? He used to tell you everything but lately he'd been so distant. Maybe that's why he hasn't texted you all week, you thought. Who could blame him for liking Kasumi? She's so pretty and not to mention how smart she is. She's the class representative and she's one of the nicest girls around.
You fell for the one man you shouldn't have. It was too late to even confess how you felt. He was already falling for another while you were left behind. You felt a sharp pain in your chest as you drove by familiar buildings.
The laundromat where you and Oikawa would go to help with the laundry. You both would end up messing around and your parents would have to kick you two out. You and Oikawa would go across the street to the convenience store to buy steamed buns.
He doesn't like you.
The library where you would wait for Oikawa to finish practice so you two could study together. He'd bring you a bottle of tea and some sort of snack to keep you from burning out. Those study dates where you'd stay until the library was closed.
Give up, stop thinking of him.
The ramen restaurant where Oikawa would take you if he won a game. It was a great celebration and you two had made so many memories there. You two had gone there so often, he convinced the owner that you were his girlfriend.
Let him go.
All the feelings you had for him began to ache in your heart as you reminisced in the memories. You gripped tighter on the wheel as you saw an highway exit. "Fuck," You whispered as you merged into the fast lane. Suddenly all those fears you had of driving, just disappeared. You felt this peace as your eyes locked on the long highway. It was like, nothing hurt anymore. Your tensed shoulders relaxed, yet you felt tears roll down your cheeks. You took deep breaths as you drove attempting to stop your tears.
Soon enough, driving on the highway had shifted from a phobia to an escape. Everyday after school, rather than meeting up with Oikawa and Iwaizumi before practice, you'd drive on the highway and on backroads. It was the only thing that kept you sane when you see Kasumi with Oikawa together.
You became accustomed to the fast pace of the highways. Occasionally you'd speed if you felt some type of pain grow in your chest. You'd blast music to drown out any thoughts or feelings you had. You knew Oikawa could never be yours, so why bother crying over him, right? The thought of being around him began to make you uncomfortable. If you kept your distance, you wouldn't get hurt. You wouldn't be considered a distraction.
butthead: hey?
you: what's up?
butthead: it's been a while since i've seen you :( i miss my best friend
you: are you sure you mean to text me or iwa?
butthead: you, y/n i miss hanging with you
butthead: you didn't come to the restaurant after our game
you: i was busy, sorry
butthead: :(
you: i gotta go, ill talk to you later
Oikawa sighed at his phone and looked across the table to Iwaizumi. "Have you talked to Y/n lately?" He asked.
"Yeah, she borrowed gas money from me," Iwa says before slurping his noodles.
"Gas money? She got her license?" Oikawa tilts his head. "How long has it been?"
"A month? You got caught up with Kasumi," Iwaizumi says.
"Hmph," Oikawa huffed as he sipped his drink. He'd been spending so much time with Kasumi that he forgot about you. Or was it, you started to forget about him? He glances at the window behind Iwa and noticed a familiar car parking.
You parked your car across the street of the restaurant next to a convenience store. You quickly got out and went into the store looking for something to drink. As you began to scan the fridge, you heard the door open. "Y/n?" You turned to find Oikawa.
"What are you doing here?" You turned back to grab a soda.
"Iwa came to eat with me since you didn't make it," Oikawa says. "He's still there, did you want to join us?"
"No thanks, I'm kinda busy at the moment," You say dully. Oikawa goes to speak but you had already walked to go pay for your drink. "Later Oikawa."
"Oikawa?" He watched as you left the store and into your car. He follows suit and watched you speed off. Oikawa quickly makes his way back to the restaurant and seats himself disgruntled. "Y/n called me Oikawa..."
"That's your name isn't it?" Iwaizumi raised his eyebrow.
"She always calls me Oiks or Ru, never Oikawa," He says. "Did I do something wrong?"
Iwaizumi shrugged even though he knew the answer well enough. After Oikawa had asked Kasumi to be his girlfriend, your demeanor had changed. Iwa was the first to notice too. Typically, after school you'd see the duo before practice started, yet since you learnt Oikawa had eyes for another, you stopped.
One day, Iwaizumi decided to follow after you when school was over. He trailed behind as you walked to your car door. You pulled open the door handle only for Iwa to shut the door immediately after. You turned to find Iwaizumi with scrunched eyebrows. "What's wrong with you?" He asked. "Why haven't you came by before practice?"
"No reason, I'm just busy," You lied.
"Liar, what's wrong?" He asks yet you remained silent. "I won't tell Shittykawa just tell me why you're being so distant...and also why your eyes are always puffy."
You paused before answering, "I'm just...upset with Oikawa...and Kasumi.."
"Do you..?" Iwaizumi implied. You nod and looked at the ground. "What have you been doing since you found out about them?"
"Driving," You sighed. "Just driving...It's keep me off my mind all week. I bear the fact that he looks so happy with her and not...me. God I'm so stupid."
"Don't say that-" Iwa started but you immediately lashed out.
"It's true! I was too late to confess! And I fell for the one boy I can't have!" You felt tears well up in your eyes. "I can't even drive by certain places without getting upset. I take backroads and I avoid them completely. I hate driving by his house but it's the only way to my own. He just treats me like another fucking fan girl! I'm just so stupid for falling for my best friend." Since that day, Iwaizumi kept to his promise. Not word about your feelings were said to Oikawa.
butthead: hey are you busy right now ?
you: no, what's up?
butthead: can you help me with something?
you: depends
butthead: meet me at the library so i can tell you more :)
You locked you phone and tossed it into your passenger's seat. You looked up to see the light change to green, allowing you to speed into the highway. Your hands rested at the bottom of the wheel as you drove. The slow, lo-fi music surrounded your car as you drove which let you get out of your trapped mind.
It was a crazy thought to think that you and Oikawa were so excited to drive together. Yet now all you want to do is drive alone. You turned up the volume of your music as you merged into your neighborhood. You leaned further back into your seat as you were driving around the suburbs. You glance at the white cars lining one street leading to the library. You scoffed at the sight as a repressed memory resurfaced.
"Why do you like white cars so much?" You chuckled.
"Because they look clean and nice? Sorry I don't like your basic silver car," Oikawa raised his hand to block your face.
"I'm basic? Says the one who wants an automatic," You pretend to throw up to mock him.
"For someone who can't drive yet, you talk big," Oikawa pats your head only to be smacked a few seconds late. Oikawa drapes his arm over you as you walked down the street to the library The entire walk was filled with mocking and talking about the future. "Let me teach you how to drive, that way we could go out together more."
You finally arrived at the library, spotting Oikawa before parking the car. He watches as you easily parallel park and is stunned by how casual you are as you drove. You set out and approach him. Oikawa holds out a snack to you but you politely refuse.
"Let's go inside?" He asks. You shrugged and followed him in. Rather than sitting beside him like usual, you sat across from him. You still had those feelings for him but you couldn't stand sitting next to him. Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you anticipated his next words. "I was wondering if you could help me with Kasumi?"
Ouch.
"With what?" You ask.
"I want to give her a gift, right?" He starts. "A gift that goes along with me telling her I love her."
He loves her?
Your heart aches but you decide to move past that. "Isn't it a bit early to say I love you?"
"Well, we were long time friends before we started dating and I feel like it's the right time to, y'know?" Oikawa leans forward on the table. "Can you help me find a gift?"
This feels familiar. Helping him find a gift for a girl that isn't you. It seems like anytime he does have a crush he'd come to you for advice. This is the first time that you didn't want to give into his favors.
"No," You sighed.
"No? Wait why not?" He raised his eyebrows at you.
"Because," Say it. "Because I-"
"Because?" Oikawa tilts his head at your response.
"Because I can't keep doing things like this for you," You stood up and began heading for the entrance. Oikawa followed afterwards as he could see the pain in your voice.
"Y/n, talk to me, we haven't talked in forever. Tell me what's wrong," He says as you exit the library. You ignore his voice and reached for your car door. He grabs your arm but you shove him off.
"Would you just- leave me alone?" You snapped. "I don't want to help you, okay?"
"What did I do?" Oikawa was beyond confused at your response.
"I- You- Ugh! Just go away, I don't want to see you!" Your voice cracked as the suppressed feelings began to rise again.
"Why not!" Oikawa grabbed your arm again, this time you weren't able to break free.
"Because I fucking loved you idiot!" You yelled. Hot tears streamed down your cheeks as you stopped struggling in his hold. Oikawa paused and stared at you in wonder.
"You...loved me?" He asked.
"I still fucking love you! God, I hate you- I just- Let go!" You pulled off him. "I'm leaving. If you try to stop me, I'm never speaking to you again." You wiped your tears as you entered your car. Driving off into the neighborhood, crying at the red lights knowing you could've ruined your whole friendship.
Oikawa watched as you sped off. Those words lingered in his ear as he stared down at his hand where you let go. His mind was lost in thought, how could his best friend love him? Was he that blind that he couldn't see your admiration? "She...loves me?" He thought.
taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme​ @d0llpie​ @elianetsantana @joy-laufeyson @kac-chowsballs
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yuta-nakamots · 3 years
Text
misfit - j.sc
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Pairing - Sungchan x Reader
Genre - Horror/Thriller, Angst, Fluff
Warnings - serial killer, character death, violence, murder, implications of sex
Summary - A murderer is on the loose, killing with no regret and ending the lives of more than just a few people. No one knew who it was, turning against each other upon even the slightest bit of doubt. Maybe you should’ve been more careful with who you chose to trust. 
Word Count - 5.3k
A/N - this is inspired entirely from a dream I had a few days ago. I've added very little to what I saw in my dream aside from Sungchan as the male lead. yes, I am freaked out by this and yes, I am scared of writing for Sungchan bc I don’t know his personality all too well but as an ‘01 liner myself I have faith in us
Written for the #NeoHalloween writing festival hosted by @nct-writers​. Check out the masterlist here.
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For five months now, your town has lived in fear. A serial killer was on the loose and he was known by the name of Hickleback Jack though no one knew where the name came from or who had started it. Each month, the population of your town voted on the local community board to have one person executed who they thought was Hickleback Jack. So far, not a single guess was right leaving five innocent people dead. Well, five plus an extra thirty, give or take.
See, the thing about Hickleback Jack, was that every time the votes came in at the end of the month, he could see just who voted for him and targeted them as his next victims. He killed six of those people over the following month, adding up to seven dead each time the town guessed incorrectly. It was getting to a point where no one trusted each other, no one dared to say anything against each other in fear of being accused or in fear of being the next to fall mercy to Hickleback Jack.
Not much was known about this killer other than his appearance. He’s male with a tall and broad figure though he always covers his face with some kind of mask. His common weapon is known to be an axe. People have claimed to have seen him late at night under the dim orange glow of the street lamps but he was never caught by the authorities, leaving everyone restless and waiting for the next kill.
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The night was still young when you had gotten home from school and it was a Friday night which was basically an open invitation for you to call over your boyfriend, Sungchan. He had transferred in to your university at the start of the school year, and had ended up sitting next to you during your sophomore seminar class, leading to the start of your friendship with him.
A simple friendship soon blossomed into a relationship after Sungchan’s bright personality began shining through his somewhat intimidating exterior. You lived without fear when Sungchan was around, the love you had for him blocking out anything else in the world that wasn’t him.
You sat on your bed, your homework spread out in front of you while you held your phone up to your ear. “Do you want to come over tonight?” You ask as soon as he picks up your call.
You hear rustling on the other end of the call before Sungchan clears his throat and speaks, his voice husky from sleep. “Sorry, can you repeat that?”
“I said, do you want to come over tonight?” You paused and heard him yawn. “You fell asleep after class didn’t you?” You smiled to yourself thinking of your boyfriend’s handsome face as he napped after getting back to his apartment once he finished with his classes for the day, which was a common occurrence now that the semester was in full swing.
“Mmm,” he hummed in thought, “as much as I’d love to, I really shouldn’t have taken that nap because of how much homework I have.”
“Oh, that’s okay, do your homework first,” you reassure him, “maybe we can hang out some other time this weekend. It’s only Friday after all.”
“Definitely. Are you starting yours right now?” Sungchan asked.
“Yeah, I’d rather not wait and end up cramming on Sunday night.” You laughed, knowing that said event has happened more times that you’d like to admit.
Sungchan let out a noise of agreement. “I’ll let you know when I’m done with my homework though.”
“Same here.” You promised.
“Alright, let’s get to work and I’ll talk to you soon.” He told you.
“Sounds good, love you.”
“Love you too.”
With that you hung up, eager to start on your homework in hopes of getting to spend more time with your boyfriend. You actually had a lot of it this weekend thanks to molecular biology, and you figured that if you couldn’t talk to Sungchan, who had yet to take the course, you called up your study group discord instead. Luckily, many of them were in similar situations as you, faced with the daunting task of completing all the worksheets assigned during class earlier in the day.
“Okay so was anyone paying attention during the lecture today?” Your classmate Chenle asked.
“I know Yeji fell asleep so you’re in the same boat as her.” You interject, recalling the sight of both of them knocked out in their seats as the professor droned on about the functions of the structures inside cells.
Yeji let out a gasp of shock at how blatantly you called her out. “I may have fallen asleep but at least I still know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”
“Everyone knows that, Yeji.” Your other classmate Jaemin said, his voice void of enthusiasm.
“Okay, Jaemin, we get it, Mr. Serious.” You teased.
“Yeah, this is a biology study group, not a bible study group, lighten up a little.” Chenle jokes.
Jaemin scoffed, “sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who’s trying to do well in this class.”
“Well not all of us enjoy the taste of coffee with six shots of caffeine in them.” Yeji argued back.
“Guys,” you called out as Jaemin and Yeji started arguing, “guys!” They finally stopped to hear what you had to say. “Let’s just get this over with sooner rather than later because I know none of us want to be awake at 2am trying to figure this out alone.”
“Agreed,” Chenle said, “so question three, the one about the DNA mutation, how is missense different from nonsense?”
“Missense is where one of the bases mutates and changes to something else, therefore changing the protein level,” Jaemin explained, “nonsense is the same theoretical concept except it spells out one of the stop codes.”
Yeji let out a groan, “can you slow down, or like, I don’t know, use easier words or something?”
Most of your night passed by like this and before you knew it, it was already nearing midnight and you could tell your classmates were just as exhausted as you. “I think we should call it here.”
“Definitely,” Yeji confirmed, “tomorrow morning at 10?”
You all let out similar answers of acknowledgement before Chenle spoke up. “The poll closes on tomorrow night so make sure to vote if you haven’t already.”
Because of how long this has been going on for, everyone was already on the same page once someone mentioned the poll or voting. “There were only five kills this month so I wouldn’t be surprised if the last one is announced tomorrow or Sunday morning.” Jaemin chimed in.
“All the recent kills were related to the university so I know a lot of people are suspecting someone in our age range.” Yeji informed the group.
Jaemin let out a chuckle, “if the killer actually is a college student, I wouldn’t be surprised since it is getting close to the last wave of midterms and then finals so that would explain why the victims fall into the same category.” The chat fell silent at that. “I’m just saying that he’s getting a little lazy by grouping all his kills like this.”
“Jaemin, are you sure you’re not the killer?” Chenle asked with a laugh at the end.
“Guys, I can promise you that I’m not the killer, I swear on my life.” Jaemin promised.
“Alright, that’s enough detective work for tonight, I’ll start the call again around 10 tomorrow. Sounds good?” You conclude, wanting to curl up under your covers already, which is exactly what you do once everyone wishes each other a good night and hung up.  
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Morning came a little too quickly for your liking, the bright sunlight flooding into your room through the window and forcing you awake. Checking your phone, you saw that it was 9:30am, meaning you had some time to spare before your next meeting with the bio study group, along with a notification from Sungchan that he had sent well after you had fallen asleep.
Sungchan > y/n
2:14am: Just got rescheduled to work opening shift tomorrow.
2:15am: Didn’t finish my homework but I can stop by at your house after work with my stuff and we can hang out and have fun once we’re both done?
Your heart warmed at how he stayed up late trying to finish his homework for you and that he suggested the idea of coming over after his shift at a small local restaurant finished just so the two of you could be together even if you’d be focusing on your own tasks for a while.
y/n > Sungchan
9:32am: Sorry I didn’t text back earlier, I just woke up!
9:32am: But of course you can come over, I might even be done with my work by then ;)
You plugged your phone to let it charge and left it on your nightstand as you made yourself breakfast downstairs. The house was quiet since your mom already left for work and you dad worked a night shift job and was probably sleeping at the moment. It was strangely serene as you prepared yourself a bowl of cereal though the calm was rudely interrupted by the sound of your ringtone coming from your room.
Deciding to get it after eating breakfast, you poured the cereal in first, thinking about the way Sungchan had told you before that he liked to pour the milk first and let the cereal soak up the milk. “It makes it super soggy and I like it.” He tried reasoning with you, to which you only raised an eyebrow at.
Just as you put the milk carton back into the refrigerator and was about to take a bit of your cereal, your phone started going off again. You placed your bowl onto the kitchen table and made your way back up to your bedroom to see what it was that was so important this early in the morning. Checking the notifications, it was Yeji who had been calling you so you shot her a message.
y/n > Yeji
9:39am: What’s up?
Yeji > y/n
9:40am: I just dreamt that it was Jaemin who was the killer
9:40am: please call me right now I feel like I’m going to go insane
You heeded her words and called her immediately. “So what happened in the dream?”
“I don’t know, I just remember being chased by a man with an axe and I was running to the school to try to see if I could get help but then I tripped and when I turned around, it was Jaemin.” Yeji blurted out without a single breath in between.
You paused, trying to take in all the information she just threw at you. “Do you have any reason as to why you think you dreamt this?”
“The way he was talking last night,” she stopped to catch her breath, “he spoke so in detail that I couldn’t help but overthink like, what if he is actually the killer? What if we’re next?”
“Well, you can vote for him in the poll if you want but personally, I don’t think it’s him.” You think of your next words carefully. “I’m not trying to invalidate your thoughts but Jaemin does come from a reputable family-”
“Y/n, it could be anyone. Family doesn’t matter. We have no information on the guy, we don’t know what economic class he’s in or anything.” Yeji interrupted.
You took a few seconds to gather your thoughts before speaking again. “That is true, but we all know Jaemin wants to be a surgeon right? He’s in all these difficult classes and he maintains such high grades-”
“Okay but how is that relevant?” Yeji interrupted yet again.
She was getting on your nerves but you held yourself back. “Listen, I’m just trying to say that with the amount of time and effort he puts into school, I don’t think he could be the killer. The killer plans his kills well enough that we just can’t find him and that probably takes just as much time as school does for us.”
Yeji took a while to respond though when she did, her words surprised you. “Now you’re starting to sound like the killer.”
“Yeji, I can promise you that it’s not me. I’m just as scared as you are in this whole situation,” you reasoned, “I’ll even vote for Jaemin if it makes you feel better.”
She let out a sigh across the line. “Okay fine. Maybe a kill will happen while we’re on the call and it’ll clear Jaemin’s name.”
“I think you’re letting it all get to you, just try not to think about it for a bit.” You advised.
“But am I really overreacting y/n? We live every day in fear of being the next victim. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, so am I really overreacting?” You look over at the clock on your wall as she spoke, realizing that it’s already 9:55 and you should probably start the call already.
“No, I don’t think you’re overreacting, I’m just saying that constantly thinking about it to this extent isn’t good for you. We still have school to pay attention to,” you explain, “speaking of, I’m gonna start the call now.”
“I can’t just stop thinking about it that easily but whatever, let’s just hope that we’re not associating ourselves with a murderer by doing this.” You can only shake your head as you start the call.
Chenle joined immediately followed by Yeji. “Good morning ladies, President Zhong here. How are we doing on this fine day?”
You rolled your eyes even though a smile spread across your face. “I’m doing good, Mr. President. Ready to finish off these worksheets.”
“Good, good,” Chenle affirmed, sticking with his act, “and you, Miss Yeji?”
“Fine.” She shot out.
Chenle let out a quiet chuckle, “someone’s a little grumpy this morning. Maybe we should’ve met a bit later.”
“No, let’s just get this over with.” Yeji grumbled just as Jaemin joined.
“Great! Now that the head brain cell is here, let’s get this meeting started.” Chenle exclaimed.
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Four hours into your meeting and eight out of ten worksheets later, your phone begins to ring with an incoming call from Sungchan. “Hold on guys, I gotta take this call. Hello?”
“I’m downstairs, come pick me up.” You couldn’t deny the butterflies that spread throughout your chest upon hearing your boyfriend’s voice. You got up to let him in though you certainly didn’t miss the teasing coming from your laptop as your classmates yelled about you and Sungchan.
As you made your way downstairs, you froze halfway down the stairs, seeing Sungchan already in the kitchen eating the bowl of cereal you forgot about. “I’m guessing you made this for yourself earlier and forgot to eat it.” He said through a mouthful of food.
“Babe, no, don’t eat that, it’s like five hours old. The milk is probably stale.” You exclaimed, worried about his health if it really did go bad.
Sungchan only shrugged as he took another spoonful into his mouth. “Tastes fine to me.”
You rolled your eyes before turning to head back upstairs. “Join me in my room once you’re ready, you cereal monster. Leave the dishes in the sink too.” As you returned to your room, you couldn’t help but wonder how Sungchan got in though you figure he’s probably seen you use the spare key under the doormat a couple times since you often were too lazy to get your own keys out of your bag most of the time.
When you sat down in front of your computer again, Jaemin had just finished explaining the answer to the problem you guys were working on earlier so you chimed in asking him to go over it again though he was quickly overrun by an excited Chenle. “Is Sungchan there?” He practically yelled.
“No, not yet, he’s eating some soggy cereal downstairs.” You inform him.
“Alright, let me know when he comes in.” Chenle says, unphased by your boyfriends’ odd preference of cereal.
Halfway through Jaemin’s explanation, Sungchan came into your room, placing his bag down at the foot of the bed before he took his jacket off and stripped out of his work uniform. “I heard a door open, is that Sungchan?” Chenle shouted over Jaemin once more.
“I never get to fucking speak in this group.” Jaemin huffed, at which Chenle muttered a quick ‘sorry’ back.
“Yes, Chenle, Sungchan is here,” you announce, looking over at the boy in question who had just finished pulling a shirt over his head and winked when he saw you staring at his body, “he seems very flirty today, must be because of you, Mr. Zhong.”
Sungchan sits down next to you and places a kiss on your cheek, smelling oddly of cleaning supplies, but you pay no mind to that, figuring he must have used them at work. “How’s it going Chenle?” He asks, though his attention is only on you and he places his hands on your cheeks and leaves a quick kiss on your lips.
“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just hear the two of you kissing,” Chenle remarks, earning a laugh from Sungchan, “but anyways, you should come back to the basketball team. We miss our giant point guard, you know.”
“Nah, I’m too busy these days. I already have work and school plus I still want to spend time with y/n.” He commented as he shifted to lie on his stomach next to you.
“Man, who knew a girl would be all it took to make this dude throw his love for basketball out the window.” Chenle taunted.
“Love makes you do things, you know how it is.” Sungchan replied, resting his head on your thigh.
Running a hand through his hair, “anyways,” you divert, “back to what Jaemin was saying about meiosis.”
“Thank you, y/n, I thought I’d never be able to speak again.” Jaemin uttered pointedly. “As I was saying, the main difference between meiosis and mitosis is that it creates four daughter cells instead of two like mitosis does.”
“Hey guys, wait, did you see the article that just came out?” Yeji inquired. “It’s another death.”
There was a moment of silence before anyone said anything. “No but you can read it to us.” Chenle concluded.
“Okay,” you could hear the deep breath Yeji took before reading the article, “it says here that the body was found at around 1:20pm in an alley between the lower-income housing apartments, the cause of death is assumed to be by Hickleback Jack using his axe, and the estimated time of death is anywhere from 12 to 1pm.”
“Wow,” Jaemin began, “so he just killed out in broad daylight.”
“Not gonna lie Jaemin, but I thought you were the killer.” Yeji let out blatantly.
You were mildly shocked at her bluntness, but not surprised given how stressed everyone was. “Me?” Jaemin gasped, “Yeji, you know I’m pretty much Rapunzel with how much time I spend in my room studying. And when I’m not studying, I’m either editing pictures or playing video games.”
“It’s true,” Chenle confirms, “he really doesn’t leave his room. We had a sleepover once and I felt like I was becoming a hermit like him.” Sungchan slightly wheezed at that, sending Chenle over the moon. “Did you hear that? Did you guys hear that? Sungchan thinks I’m funny!”
“Yeah yeah, enough about me being a hermit. But Yeji,” Jaemin addressed, “why did you think it was me?”
Yeji hesitated before responding. “I just- the way you were talking the other night...I don’t know. It just sounded so specific and detailed that I couldn’t help but think that it could have been you.”
“I don’t think a murderer would simply reveal his plans like that, you know.” Sungchan proposed.
“Well yeah, but it’s just the way he spoke, it was like he had things organized...you know what? Let’s forget I said that, but I know the four of us are clear.” Yeji resigned.
Sungchan sat up, “wait, why am I not cleared?”
“Y/n, what time did he call you?”
“Like 2-ish.”
“Exactly. Sungchan, you don’t have an alibi, as far as we know, until 2 and the time of death is stated to be 12 to 1pm.”
“I was at work earlier in the day, though.”
“Can you prove it to us?” Yeji pressed on.
“Yeah, my coworkers can vouch for me.”
You were quite surprised at how aggressive Yeji was being towards your boyfriend but you didn’t see any reason to stop her since she had very valid arguments. “Send a screenshot of it to Chenle and we’ll verify you from there.” Yeji commanded.
Sungchan slouched down a little next to you. “I don’t have the numbers of my coworkers though.”
“Alright, then you’re still on the list of suspects.”
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After finishing all the worksheets for microbio and ending the call around 3:30, Sungchan pulled out his laptop and started typing away at a half-finished lab report for his human A&P class. You fell asleep curled into his body, his warmth and the constant tapping of his keyboard lulling you to sleep.
When you woke again, you immediately noticed the absence of a large boy next to you and frowned to yourself. As you came to, you heard noise coming from the kitchen and identified your mother’s voice followed by Sungchan’s. Noticing the time on your phone, you guess that he was probably helping her prepare dinner since it was already past 6 and your family ate around 7 before your dad left for work.
By the time you made yourself presentable and came downstairs, your mom and Sungchan were already setting the table. “Looks like our sleepyhead finally woke up.” Your mother exclaimed, making you grimace. “You didn’t tell me Sungchan was staying over,” you were about to open your mouth to say that you didn’t know that either but you weren’t given the chance to do so, “it’s okay, especially with that killer still on the loose, it makes me feel better knowing there’s someone around to protect my baby.”
You looked at Sungchan as if asking him for answers though he seemed to only avoid your gaze, reluctantly taking the seat across from you at the dining table. Your father walked in, delighted to see your boyfriend. “Sungchan! Good to see you, how are things at school?” He asked as he joined you all at the table.
“Okay for the most part, I haven’t taken to my writing class all that much though I enjoy my other science classes.” Sungchan answers.
Your dad hums in approval while you stare down Sungchan, trying to get him to look at you. “Remind me again what you’re majoring in again?” Your mom asks, Sungchan whips his head around faster than you can make eye contact with him.
“I’m majoring in forensics.” He states.
“Interesting, interesting,” your father contemplates, “you know, y/n here wants to become a pediatrician. The two of you are practically opposites in the science field, one dealing with crime and the other dealing with children.”
Sungchan let out a laugh, “I guess opposites really do attract then.”
You hated how well he entertained your parents and you hated how much they liked him. For the rest of dinner you tried to pin him down through your stares and even played a game of footsie with him but nothing seemed to work. It was only once the two of you were back in your room getting ready for bed that you were able to talk to him.
“Look, I’m not mad at you or anything, I’d just appreciate it if you talked to me first before just telling my parents that you’re staying over.” You told him as you went through your skincare routine.
Sungchan jumped onto your bed as he apologized. “Sorry, I just thought that since both of us finished our homework and with the killing today, it would just make sense for me to stay over.” He opened his arms, inviting you in as you stood up after finishing your night routine.
You copied him, jumping into your bed straight onto Sungchan, effectively pushing the air out of his body. He grunted as your weight fell onto him though he still wrapped his arms around your waist and shifted you up the length of your body so your face was level with his. “Hi” you giggle, shy from the sudden close proximity.
“Hey.” He says back with a smile as you slide off him, leaving an arm and leg slung over his body. “Tired?”
“No, not really, I took a nap earlier since someone didn’t care to wake me up.”
“You looked too cute, besides, you need all the rest you can get.” Sungchan explained, using his free hand to squish your cheeks. “If you’re really not tired then I know a way to make you tired.” His hand found its way down to your butt to further emphasize his point.
“Ew, no, not now.” You quickly refused, moving his hand up to your waist. “Just go to sleep and I’ll probably fall asleep after you anyways.”
“Oh wait,” Sungchan said, reaching over you to the nightstand for his phone, “did you vote on the poll yet?”
“No, I almost forgot.” You groaned, lazily reaching for your phone as well.
You pull up the local community board and enter your information, looking at the list of all the citizens, pondering on who you’d give your vote to. “Who are you voting for?” Sungchan asks, looking over at your screen.
“I really don’t know.” You tell him, though truthfully, you had someone in mind.
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Thanks to the nap you had, you really couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard you tried. You ended up dozing off occasionally but you’d wake up half an hour later only more irritated than when you first fell asleep.
You don’t remember what time it was, but at some point, Sungchan had removed himself from your grasp, unaware that you were still awake, though you made no effort to stop him thinking that he was just going to use the restroom and come back. Five minutes passed, five minutes turned into ten, then twenty, and you decided to check on him once thirty minutes had passed.
The house was completely dark, not even the light from the bathroom was on. You checked inside in case Sungchan had maybe gotten hurt and passed out, but he was nowhere to be found. After searching almost all the rooms in your house, you had yet to find any sign of him. After a bit of thinking, you had wandered out to your mothers’ greenhouse thinking that maybe some time with the plants would help to calm your mind.
It did anything but that.
Not long after setting foot inside of the small shed, you heard screams coming from nearby, getting closer and closer. You watched from the inside of the tinted glass as three girls ran through your backyard and into the next property. You couldn’t help it that you were frozen to your core, knowing who was coming.
You saw his frame as he jumped over the fence from the other end of your yard, axe in hand, running through the open grass and you thought he might have noticed you until he stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes glued on you. You should’ve ducked down as soon as the girls ran past but it was too late now and there was no second way out of the greenhouse.
You knew you should have tried to run, maybe smash through the glass panelling but something in you told you that maybe, just maybe, you’d be able to stop him. Steeling your nerves as he crosses the threshold of the greenhouse, you call out to him. “I know who you are.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
It was as if your world was crumbling before you, the once so comfortable relationship you knew felt fake, even though Sungchan, your loving boyfriend stood right there. The only difference was that you knew who he really was.
“Why?” You start, “why did you kill all those innocent people?”
“It’s all for fun, y/n.”
“What do you mean ‘for fun’? Those are real people you know, people with families and friends who miss them dearly.” You nearly cry out as he continues to approach you.
“You see, life is a game.” He paused his words as he came to stand in front of you. “Laws are nothing but a social construct that us humans follow mindlessly until our own demise.”
He takes a step closer to you, but you stand your ground. “Laws are what keep us safe and keep us happy. They allow us to lead our lives peacefully with others-”
“They are nothing but limits.” He closes the distance between the two of you, an arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you towards him, and you allow him to do so. “My dear, sweet, y/n. If only you weren’t so smart, I wouldn’t be faced with this dilemma.”
“You wouldn’t kill me.” You were trying to persuade him just as much as you were to yourself. “You’d never.”
“Oh? And what makes you think that?”
“You love me.”
“I do, I love you so dearly, but now that you know who’s behind all the killings, there’s no way that I can let you go.” You felt his axe nudge the back of your leg as he brought both arms around you. To an outsider, it would look as if a couple were having a conversation, but for you, this was a fight for your life.
“Take off the mask.”
“Why should I?”
“So I can talk to you properly.”
He took off the mask without much more convincing, his normally handsome face now distorted by the crazed look in his eyes. People often say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and if they really were, then Sungchan didn’t have a soul.
“I swear to you that I won’t ever tell anyone about this, about you.”
“I don’t believe that you’ll keep that promise, my dear.”
“You know how much I love you. As long as we can stay together, I will not say anything.”
“This is not a tale of beauty and the beast. I am no beast to be tamed and there is no happy ending to this story.”
“Sungchan, no. You don’t mean that.”
“Do I really not mean it, or is that what you would like to believe? Something tells me it’s the latter.” He held you tight against him with one arm, the other raising his axe. “It’s truly a shame that your beauty must go to waste, you were truly a wonderful person both inside and out but I’m afraid that your life must end here.”
Before he could prep his swing, you pulled away and grabbed the nearest pot, launching it at him, the ceramic breaking against his head making dirt rain down upon both of you.
Not even a second passed before his axe was flying at you, lodging itself into your neck, nearly severing your head from your shoulder. You should’ve been thankful really, thankful that Sungchan had given you a quick death, not his usual route since it was so painless and easy for both the victim and the assailant.
He liked a struggle, but for you he made an exception out of love so that the last thing you’d see was him, your lover, before everything stopped.
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eunoiaflow3r · 3 years
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when worlds collide - h.p. x gn!avenger!reader
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a/n: bahahahahaha no one reads harry x reader lmaoo you don’t have to tell me - i know. but still, i thought this was a cute idea and i went with it. hope you enjoy :)
not edited.
also: timelines don’t match up bc i don’t want to do the math so harry is like 20 - 21 and your like 19 - 20 in 2020. Civil War and everything on didn’t happen. Fred didn’t die.
gn = gender neutral
warning(s): “language!” - captain america.
word count: 3.1k
request(ed): no.
summary: stephen sends y/n to a strange new place with...wizards?
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Never doubt Stephen Strange. That's something that pretty much everyone has accepted. Never second guess the wizard man. Usually you'd agree. Usually you'd just let the man babble about whatever he needed to and then go about your day.
Not now.
The fuckery.
Now you were here (wherever here was) after some flashes of orange and a "be careful." Did he even do the spell right? Is this really where you were supposed to be?
It was dark, and dirty and you just wanted to go home and not talk to anyone so you turned yourself invisible.
You were born with your powers - you think. You were adopted so you wouldn't know where your powers came from. All you know is that one day your parents couldn't find you, even though you were right there. Instead of thinking you were some kind of alien and throwing you out to labs, they helped you control it the best you could.
It was difficult at first, all things considered, but you got through. You discovered you had another power as well. Force fields. Those came in handy during the battles. (You helped where you could), and Tony Stark took you in afterwards as his own. He helped you create your suit, and your name, and discover more about your powers, he was basically a dad to you.
Your parents were a little hesitant letting you join the Avengers, but once they realized this is what you were meant to do, and you had people just like you protecting you, they couldn't keep you from that. They just couldn't.
So here you were, invisible, in some dark and creepy alley. There were doors either side of you, so you got out of the way considering they could open and smack you in the face at any given moment. You heard loud voices and laughing and cheering from both ends of the alley so you walked towards the one in front of you.
The voices were so loud and echoey that you really couldn't focus on anything else. Maybe that's why you didn't hear a boy behind you trip and fall into you from behind.
"I'm so sorry." he said helping you up.
You turned around to help him, he got awfully dirty, and searched for his glasses that fell off his face.
Once standing, he took out a stick, waved it over him, and all of a sudden the dirt and gravel was gone.
"How did you do that?" You were no stranger to magic, but this was something you've never seen before. And why would he do it in front of you? For all he knew, you were an unknowing human.
"What?" He asked eyebrows furrowed together, accent strong.
"With the stick."
He chuckled shoving the stick back in his cloak.
"The stick." He smiled and looked you up and down. "It's a wand. You must not be from around here."
"Yeah, what tipped you off?" You noticed the lightning bolt scar on his head. You wondered how he got it.
"The accent, the clothes, the inability to recognize a simple wand, the ability to be here, not recognizing me, and wait - where is your cloak?"
"Cloak?"
"You were just invisible a moment earlier but I don't see your cloak anywhere."
"I don't have one. I can make myself invisible without a piece of fabric or your fancy stick." You say sarcastically. Were you flirting?
"Handy." He grins. "The name's Harry Potter."
He holds his hand out for you to shake. "Y/N L/N."
He asks you if you want to talk somewhere besides a dark dirty alley. You agreed. It took some convincing though to let him use his stick to clean the clothes you had on, but to change your outfit to something less, standout-ish.
When you felt the witch hat on your head you immediately snatched it off your head and glared at him.
He just laughed.
Once out of the alley, you breathed in the now clean air, and was mesmerized. People were bustling in and out of small shops, animals were flying and chirping around their owners, children were running around with their friends and siblings, and people were waving sticks, or wands, just like Harry used.
"C'mon, this way." He smiled at your awestruck face. It reminded him of when he first arrived with Hagrid all those years ago.
He brought you inside a coffee shop, and sat you at a booth near the window knowing you'd probably want to still look outside at the new scenes.
After ordering, and a few moments of silence as you looked around, you decided to ask some questions.
"Where am I?"
"We're in Diagon Alley. It's like an outside mall."
"I mean like, planet? I guess?"
"Earth."
"Earth?"
"Well, more specifically London. Diagon Alley."
"London?! I'm in London?!"
"You've never been? To Earth? Or London?"
You rolled your eyes silently cursing Strange. "I'm from Earth. The United States, actually. I just wish he'd put me on a fucking plane or something instead of making it seem like I was going to Mars."
"He?" Harry was very curious.
You looked into his green eyes, your mind wandering. The guy in front of you was very attractive. His dark hair complimented his eyes, and his glasses made him even more attractive.
"You guys are wizards right?"
"Really? What gave you that impression?" He asks sarcastically. "The sticks, the pointy hats, or the big bowl with green liquid sitting outside?”
You rolled your eyes. "Very funny. It's not my fault you live into the stereotype of brewing potions in your cauldrons -"
"Oh well I can only assume you're one of those Avengers from the States, yeah?" He grins. "You guys are all over the news."
"Yes, sure -"
"And don't one of you wear capes and another shoot lasers or lightning or whatnot? Sounds very stereotypical to me."
You laugh as the waitress brings over your drinks and muffins. You thank her. "No, well yes, that's Strange and Thor, but that's besides the point -"
"Well of course it's strange." He grins and winks and you over his mug. He was purposely annoying you and found great joy in it.
"Anyway," you sigh getting back to the point. "Do you guys have a Wizard here, like a powerful, trusting, all-knowing kind of guy?"
His eyes dropped slowly and his smile dimmed for a moment before slowly widening once again.
"Had. His name was Dumbledore."
"Our guy is Stephen Strange. Or Dr. Strange. He sent me here, and I'm not sure why."
"Hmmm." He hums setting down his mug. "Are the states in danger? Were you sent here on a secret quest that would put you through tough trials that would risk your life but would ultimately save everyone you've ever loved so you just have to do it?"
You were in a silent shock. "Uhm. No, not that I'm aware of, no."
"Well then perhaps your Wizard Strange is playing matchmaker."
"Matchmaker?"
"Well you were sent here weren't you?" You nod. "Arrived outside the exact place where I was and I just happened to bump into you? Sounds like a set-up to me."
"Or a coincidence."
"I'd like to think it was fate that I bump into the most attractive person I've ever seen and they don't know who I am and won't judge me 'cause of my past." He took a bite of his muffin.
"Should I be worried?"
"I guess you'll have to figure that out yourself." He winks.
You decide to eat your muffin as well. It was a comfortable silence until you looked out of the window and noticed a guy crouching down behind a cauldron...with a camera.
"Harry?"
"Hm?"
"Why is there a man outside taking pictures of you?"
His eyes widened. "Oh shit." He whispered. "Here." He took out a baseball cap and put it over your head, hiding your face from the camera.
He gets out of his seat quickly pulling you along with him to the back of the shop but before you could say anything he had his wand pulled out.
Next thing you saw was a couch and living room.
"Wow." You panted. "What a way to bring a girl home."
"I apologise Y/N, I block them out so much I forget they're even there and now they've seen you, and have a story and -"
"Wait, wait, wait, are you wanted for murder or something?"
Harry walks over to his bookshelf and pulls out a rather large book. After opening up on the table, he waved his wand over it and beckons you over to read it.
'Boy who lived.'
'Golden boy defeats Voldemort'
'winner of Triwizard tournament'
And there was so much more… 'Harry Potter' in bold just strewn across the pages. His whole life story.
Your eyes widen at everything. "So both and neither. War hero. How come I've never heard of you? Or any of this?"
He smiles at the pages fondly, running his fingers across the letters and reminiscing on his times at Hogwarts.
"Unlike you Avengers, we like to keep our business private and quiet. We don't like prying eyes."
You scoff. "Not our fault we have alien invasions every year."
Harry agreed and for the rest of the night you sat on his couch talking and sometimes arguing, over every little thing. It felt like you two had known each other forever.
You're not sure when, but you fell asleep there and woke with your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around your waist. You're not sure how the two of you ended up this way, and you realized you were practically strangers, but you didn't want to move. You just wanted to tangle your fingers through his dark hair.
But you didn't. Instead you stared at his closed eyes, and focused on his long, dark, eyelashes that fluttered a little from time to time. You thought about how you could get used to this. Waking up with his arm wrapped around you.
You told him last night that if he was actually a serial killer, and wanted to kill you that you had a whole team of people who would rip him limb from limb. He had no doubts and looked actually scared of your threat.
You thought about what it'd be like to live here among people like you.
Stomach grumbling, you decided to get up and see if he had anything you could make for him. It's the least you could do. His face turned when you left his arms, but you quickly pulled the blanket over him so he would be able to sleep a little longer.
You found his bathroom, and washed your face. In your backpack was a toothbrush and some toothpaste so you brushed your teeth, fixed your hair, and got dressed.
By the time you got out of the bathroom, you noticed Harry was still sleeping so you went into the kitchen and tried to find anything remotely close to breakfast foods. By the look of his inventory, you could tell he was very good at cooking but hadn’t been to the store in a while. He did have some eggs and toast though so you decided to make that.
In the middle of it, you got a phone call from Strange.
“Strange?”
“Harry Potter.” he says.
“What?” you were so confused as to how Stephen knew ANYTHING.
“You’re in his place, we've been tracking you.”
“So I guess we should probably have a talk about privacy? I don’t know, it just seems like something we should discuss you know? Cause usually people can respect that - especially people who just DUMP you here in the first place -“
“Calm down that’s what the mission was. While you were sleeping, we searched the place with a camera we put on you and he’s not who we thought he was. You completed the mission L/N. Great job.”
“Is he a danger?”
“Not necessarily. Just making sure your fine is all.”
“What -?”
He hung up.
Why wouldn’t Strange tell you his intentions? Why would he let you stay here if he thought Harry might have been a bad guy? Why would he risk that?
Right as you hung up Harry Potter walked into the kitchen with his lenses in between his shirt - he was cleaning his glasses.
His dark hair hung over his eyes but his eyebrows were raised.
“You made breakfast?”
“It was the least I could do. I didn’t mean to fall asleep but thank you for letting me stay.”
He smiled and put his glasses back on. In doing so his gray shirt lifted and you could see his abs. You turned away a blushed.
“It was no big deal. Thank you for making breakfast, love. You didn’t have to.”
You didn’t say anything and instead placed both of your finished plates on the dining room table. He followed you and sat down immediately digging in.
“These are the best eggs i’ve ever eaten Y/N thank you.”
You smiled in response but then frowned remembering your conversation with Strange. You should probably tell Harry.
“So,” you cleared your throat. “You were wrong.”
He gave you a look that meant “about?”
“Dr. Strange - the wizard I work with - he likes to check out potential threats and make sure that ya’know - the earth stays safe and everything. Je can kind of see the future and its propabilities. He did the same thing with Thor and his brother Loki.”
“Okay, go on.”
You cringed. “And so he called me and told me that he sent me here so he could see you? I don’t know I guess he saw you as a threat and wanted to make sure you weren’t.”
You looked at Harry but his face was clear of any and every emotion. He just continued to eat his eggs. It was silent.
You ate a bit at your eggs too until he spoke up which made you look up.
“I can’t say I’m very surprised honestly. With everything you guys manage to fuck up there I’d wanna know if someone else was about to create shit problems too.”
You sighed with relief. He wasn’t mad.
“I’m sorry really Harry, I didn’t even know.”
“No yeah it’s fine. I get it. I still think he sent you specifically for a reason though. There’s just no way we aren’t soul mates or something.”
“Oh shut up Potter.”
He smiled. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Gee your head must hurt.”
He squints at you jokingly. “You should let me take you out. I can show you around today. Y’know, so you can see what wizards are like.”
“Is this a date?”
His face flushes red and he looks down at his plate. “Yeah, yeah it’s a date.”
And a date it was.
“What the fuck is wrong with you Harry! Again?!” You practically screamed. Harry called it aparation but you call it hell. You let it go the first time but damn. He barely even warned you, just took your hand, held it tight, pulled you close, and waved his wand.
It was teleportation. Something you’ve never ever done before.
“Fucking hell Potter I’m going to murder you.”
“And Strange was worried about your safety? This is like your 4th time threatening to end my life and besides, it wasn’t even that bad.”
You rolled your eyes.
Throughout the day Harry showed you all sorts of things you’d never ever seen before. This consisted of every flavor jelly beans (and by every flavor they really meant every flavor), a chocolate frog, and never ending bubble gum. And that was just on the candy side.
He took you inside this joke shop ran by two of his friends from his old school he called hogwarts. They were twins that went by the names of Fred and George. The only twins you had ever met was Wanda and Pietro but telling the story of Pietro’s death seemed to sour Harry’s mood but excite the twins. The fact that he sacrificed himself for a little boy made him a hero in their eyes. They begged you to tell them more stories.
By the end of the day you went back to Harry’s place and you were exhausted. You can’t believe all that you’ve seen and eaten. How was this stuff even possible? How was it all hidden? You were amazed.
Harry was glad to see you had a good day and glad that he had met you. When you got back, he told you that you could stay another night...and perhaps in the bed instead of the couch. He hadn’t meant it in a dirty way but that didn’t stop you from laughing until tears came out of your eyes. He was so awkward at times. Once he had to ask if it was okay to take your hand while you were in the street and it was so cute how he couldn’t really find the words even for something as simple as hand holding.
“Harry?”
“Hm?”
You both were laying in his bed facing the other.
“I had a lot of fun today. I feel like i’ve known you forever.”
He grinned from ear to ear and was glad that you couldn’t see him. He would have been beyond embarrassed if you’d seen how unmistakably happy that made him.
“I had fun with you Y/N. You’re great company.”
You were silent for a moment.
And another.
“Harry?”
“Yes?”
“Can I kiss you?”
You were scared of his response and your heart was practically beating out of your chest. What if he was just being friendly? What if he just wanted to be friends? You would have made a huge fool of yourself. You were going to turn away embarrassed until his hand came up to your face and slipped onto your cheek. He was so warm. His lips pressed against yours for a moment and then he pulled away.
After a moment he reconnected and moved his lips against yours slowly. Your hand went to the back of his neck and toyed with his hair. He groaned into your mouth. You smiled and scooted even closer to him. All you could hear was the sound of your breathing and kissing. You didn’t want to pull away but you had to.
“Harry.” you said practically breathless.
“Yeah.” he was breathless too.
“I want to show you my world. You should come see New York.”
“Yeah? You wanna show me those alien invasions and robot attacks?”
You laughed and snuggled into Harry. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your neck.
“Mhmm.”
“I’d love to see it.”
Tags:
@romance-geek @gooseyhouse
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passivenovember · 3 years
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Stupid Harringrove HC!!!!! Ok so since I was young I've done this thing where I ask people I'm close to the same question again and again and again bc ??? that's what my brain do i guess. Like, when I was young I would ask my mom stuff like 'what's your favorite color?' or 'do you like chocolate?' everyday and get the same answer. And now I ask stupid questions like 'have you ever been murdered?' or 'how many socks can you fit in your left toe?'. Like, asking the same people the same question repeatedly bc it's going to vibrate against my skull unless I ask it right then. So, anyway, I'm giving this brain click to Steve. And Billy wants to find it annoying but instead he just thinks it's cute.
I love getting lil head canons from y’all! KEEP ‘EM COMIN’
Okay, so.
I can’t pretend that I fully understand what you mean. Please let me know if this is way out of left field, but. My best friend is Autistic and she does something similar where she’ll tell the same story over and over again, or she’ll ask me questions that she can’t remember the answer to. They’re never super out there, like. She never asks me how many socks I can fit on my left toe but I wish she would! The answer is one really small one and two big ones!
ANYWAY
Billy always thought those types of questions only came up when you’re high. You know. Stoner Boner thoughts. Little tingly synapses that glitter in the back of his mind when he’s three blunts in, eyelids red and droopy to the point where Max can take one look at him and ask how’s the view up there?
But apparently not. 
Apparently Steve? He’s got wheels turning behind that pretty spread of hair after all. Billy’s just never sure if they’re spinning in the right direction.
The first time it happens they’re high as shit.
Steve’s parents are away for the weekend and Tommy got a new load of goodies from his cousin in Colorado. Like, gummies and THC infused soda--stuff that reminds Billy too much of home. 
Futuristic. Sinful in the high they produce.
And Steve’s a pothead on a good day. Not everyone knows that about him but the kid can sniff out miss Mary like a prized bloodhound.
The shit they buy off Tommy, though?
It’s different than Indiana rag weed. Steve eats half a gummy and rolls two more, already floating ten feet above the bell tower. 
By the time the high hits, Billy knows Steve’s had too much. It’s obvious from the way he’s laying barefoot on the window seat, the pads of each foot walking back and forth across the glass without ever really touching it. Steve’s nursing a bag of popcorn and a joint, singing along to Fleetwood Mac, and Billy.
He decides it’s time to clean the room.
Steve’s messy. A messy dude, a sloppy boy, and as much as Billy despises the way cleanliness was beaten into him, he doesn’t mind cleaning up if it’s for Steve, so.
Billy’s midway through folding Steve’s socks when a question is supplied.
“Bill?”
“Yeah?”
Steve chuckles to himself. “You there, dude?”
“I’m here, baby.”
Steve hums, toes digging into the windowpane as he struggles to move his feet across the ledge once more. “If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?”
And it’s funny, but like.
Also kind of random.
And weird.
Billy drops the wad of socks with a chuckle. “What?”
“Yeah. He walks across the red sea--”
“The river Jordan.”
“And he walks on the water, like. Barefoot or something. Without getting wet.” Steve rolls off the window seat, managing to avoid dumping his popcorn everywhere. “Do you think Jesus could swim on the ground? Like at the quarry?”
And Billy.
Blames it on the weed. On the cute little way Steve watches him with wide, curious brown irises, hand shoveling too much popcorn into his mouth so when Steve crunches on the kernels they spill all over the place, and.
Plaster themselves to his chin. 
Billy blames Steve for the way he crawls over to wipe at them harshly, letting up only when Steve whines in the back of his throat. 
Billy kisses Steve’s cheek. “Do you want Jesus to swim on land?” He decides to entertain it. 
Harrington thinks about it, feeding himself a kernel of popcorn with a little, “One for me,” and then poking Billy’s lips with the next. All, “One for you.”
Over and over again until Steve’s just feeding Billy popcorn. Until they’ve forgotten the whole Jesus debate and Billy has to snatch the bag away and insist they get real food.
So they drop it.
Eat dinner. Shower. Watch T.V. All thoughts of Jesus aside until they’re cuddled up in bed and Billy feels himself fall heavy with exhaustion. 
Steve’s voice rings sweet and soft in the darkness. “Bill?”
“Yeah?”
“You awake, man?”
Billy sighs, burying his head in Steve’s chest. “I’m here, baby.”
Steve hums. Pulling Billy closer, and. Wondering aloud; “Do you think Jesus can walk on water and swim on land?”
Billy thinks about it for a minute. Wondering if Steve is joking. If he even remembers the conversation they had earlier. In the end, Billy just laughs. 
“Do you want Jesus to swim on land?” He asks. Because it’s important.
Steve doesn’t say anything for a long time.
So long that Billy wonders if this goes deeper. If it’s a crisis of faith or it he’s really praying about it to get the truth straight from the horses mouth, but.
When Billy pulls out of Steve’s grasp he comes face to face with that tell-tale drool spot. And Steve’s snuffly little dream noises and he knows.
They’ll talk about it again in the morning.
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silvermahogany · 3 years
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Talking about a few songs I associate with my favourite aonoex characters bc i enjoy shoving my music taste in people's faces and analysing the shit out of nothing <3
Recent chapter spoiler warning lessgo, also mentions of suicide tw
THE MAIN MANS HIMSELF
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Still feel - Half•Alive
"I am not a slave, so pick me from the dark and pull me from the grave"
In my mind, this is his themesong without a doubt. Its reached the point where wherever i hear it it makes me really happy because I associate it with him so strongly :,D might just be because I found it while getting back into the fandom when Ren was kinda transitioning to my favourite so they came up together but either way, absolute banger. The bit at the end when everything drops and the lead singer belts his heart out, I always love to picture Ren doing the same in the illuminati uniform with Yamatanka building around him and I've never wanted to learn how to animate more in my life cause my GOD he's so cool.
My favourite song for my favourite character <3
Preach - Saint Motel
"Oh im down on my knees, mercy"
Its so happy and bouncy?? And the vibes are immaculate?? Matches well with the themes of religion as well, this one definitely shows his flirty loverboy side more, it gives the impression of some lovestruck idiot stumbling over himself every time his crush does anything and honestly, sounds like something he'd do. Good song makes me go :))))
Your Love (Deja Vu) - Glass Animals
"You eat us up, you live like you're on camera"
I feel like this one captures his spy side a little more than the others. The lower notes in the main verses give a secretive feel, like he's halfway through a mission and trying trying stay silent. But it's also flirty in a more smooth way than wholesome crushes like the rest. The lead singer has such a gorgeous voice too i'll praise glass animals until the day i die 🥺🥺 God tier song god tier vibe 1000000/10
Do It All The Time - IDKHOWBUTTHEYFOUNDME
"Now we're so young but we're probably gonna die, it's so fun we're so good at selling lies"
Now THIS is a song for a spy working for a secret deadly organisation, all about world domination and having a great time doing it. Renzou is a free spirit and loves the freedom of his job, and this song really captures that for me. He knows he's in danger, but he's living his best life and he's having a great time doing it baybeeee B)))
Sweet Talk - Saint Motel
"You could yell 'piss off won't you stay away!' And still be sweet talk to my ears"
Ren is a persistent little shit when it comes comes crushes and this song shows it, a song about a guy who's so infatuated he doesn't care if he's hated or laughed at, he just loves hearing their voice. I see this as a bit of a yukishima anthem tbh, I feel like in the early stages of their relationship it would be pretty one sided with Shima trying to win him over and Yukio shutting him down so this matches that pretty well :>
Cant go five minutes without talking about them can i-
Honourable mentions-
Talk too much - COIN - very flirty and cheesy considered it as his themesong for a while
Toxic - Britney Spears - self explanatory :)
Razzmatazz - IDKHBTFM - everything they make shows his spy side imo, good for daydreaming
Van horn - Saint Motel -honestly anything by Saint Motel or Half•Alive reminds me of him, great bands :D
YUKIO MY BELOVED
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Yukio was weirdly a lot harder for me to find songs for. For Renzou i have a giant playlist I add to over time, supreme comfort playlist egegegeheh, but Yukio's is a lot shorter for some reason. I guess his vibe is a little difficult to get down but a while scrolling through my main playlist and I think I have a decent few that at least match his character development and plotline.
Stressed Out - Twenty one Pilots
"Out of student loans and treehouse homes we all would take the latter"
Pretty self explanatory really, mans was forced to grow up and mature way faster than he shouldve had to, having a high stress job by the age of 13 studying for two meister all while studying to be a normal doctor as well. Not much of a surprise he has so many mental issues by the beginning of the story. I dont listen to much TOP but the few songs I know seem to fit Yukio pretty nicely :)
Oh Klahoma - Jack Stauber
"Those aren't meant to bend, no those arent meant to bend"
Another song based on depression, but with a much quieter feel, much lower energy. I feel like this one more links to his tendencies of delf destruction, and how alone he feels as he faces his battle. Like he's singing into the void hoping for something to reply, but nothing will. Man :(
The Fall - Half•Alive
"I'd jump off and into your arms but i cant trust the fall"
I feel like this one highlight his story to Rin in a really realistic way. Yukio has a good heart, he's kind and wants to love his brother and open up to him he wants to get better. But he's so deep in his pit of depression and conflicting feelings over his brother that he can't bring himself to, he sees no way out. God I wanna write an analysis on his character so bAD-
Baby Hotline - Jack Stauber
"Numb, I've been burning with haste and I'm realising now it's a terrible waste"
We just keep getting darker huh, didn't pick very pleasant tunes for this boy did I. A bouncy, happy song about a girl calling a suicide hotline, lovely. But i feel like it describes his mental state pretty well, outside he seems ok. Sure Rin picks up that somethings off, but once Yukio assures him he doesnt really persist above asking him a couple times. But below the facade he's really reaching his breaking point, and I love how this song contrasts those two tones in a scarily natural way. Absolute banger
Fireflies - Gorillaz
"And if you say goodbye too many times, the sentinels will find me and switch me off this time"
One of my absolute favourite Gorillaz songs by far. The melody is so gorgeous, melancholic in the best kind of way. For Yukio I feel like it signifies how trapped he feels as Satan's son, he's hit his lowest point and he doesnt know how to start moving back up. But the song also has a hopeful feel to it, as if even though he feels lost, he will get better. In the recent chapters we see a moment of reconciliation between Yukio and the people around him, with Suguro forgiving him and tye two brothers finally getting a chance to to things out. Before everything went to shit lmaoo. But with that i really hope that after all the fighting is done, Yukio will finally get the chance to see how bad things have gotten, and reach out to get better. And this song shows that for me :D
Honourable mentions!!
Creature - Half•Alive - the first song I ever added to his playlist, there for sentimentality tbh
Cane shuga - Glass Animals - the plonky noises make the happy chemical go buckwild, not sure why it reminds me of him it just kinda does really
I Earn My Life - Lemon Demon - mans is overworked give him a break :( ngl i don't associate it with him much but i wanted to edge a lemon demon song in somewhere-
Dead inside - Younger Hunger - whenever I hear this I always imagine a really cool animation of him and it always plays out the same way and MAN I wanna animate so baDD
Absolute wordvomit woohoo, hypervocused on this instead if doing the assignment due this evening I'm a fantastic student. This was kinda fun tho!!! I might do other characters at somepoint, these guys are my favourites but i have a bunch of playlists for other characters like Amaimon and Shura, recommendations are welcome too!!
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