#and now i can't listen to my earlier playlists the same way so

[mj-iza-writer]

SP Special Containment Part 13

If you are new to the story or just need a reminder on how this story is going please use the hashtag SP Special Containment. -MJ

Whumpee smiled at Aramais as Andy pushed him down the hall.

"Aramais", Whumpee giggled.

"Hey Whumpee, I'm glad to see you in good spirits", Aramais smiled.

"Caretaker says I can't be in the hall to wait for you for when you come out of the showers. Can you tell him to let me?", Whumpee almost whispered forgetting Caretaker was the one pushing their chair.

Cass grinned.

"Whumpee I don't think that is a good idea", Aramais sighed, "you might get bored. I take a long time in the showers."

"No I won't", Whumpee pouted.

"Whumpee, you'll be better off waiting in your room", Aramais said sternly, "trust me."

Whumpee looked down, "okay, good luck in there then."

"Thanks Whumpee", Aramais smiled again, "I'll see you later."

Caretaker grinned and winked at Aramais as they passed.

Cass kept their eyes to the ground as they made their way to the showers.

"I'm sorry for what I did earlier", Aramais sighed as he waited for the straps to be removed.

"It's okay, I'm kind of getting over it now that my heart rate has gone back to normal. I feel bad for Whumpee though", Cass admitted, "they really wanted to see you after. That's sweet."

Aramais pulled off his shirt, "sweet until I have to be sedated and rolled out of here unconscious again."

Cass made a puzzled look.

Aramais stood up, "sweet until they think their friend is dead and go into survival mode", Aramais frowned, "sweet until they refuse to shower because they are so afraid to come in here", Aramais exhaled a heavy but shaky breath, "I know I seem mean and straightforward, but there is a reason to how I am. I have to think about the bigger picture. The what could happens."

"I was at the same level as Mitch was, we were equals. Except I had one weakness that I couldn't get through. Just think about that, there is only one thing that separates me from him. One thing that makes me weaker, and yet you are more scared of me."

Cass started to walk out, the guard blocked Cass.

"The human weapon is free to move around the room. You are not allowed to go out now", the guard ordered.

"Don't run away from him Cass", Andy pulled Cass aside, "he's trying to protect you."

"From what?", Cass got angry again, "he said I was okay to do this, now he seems to be the one twisting my mind. What is he afraid of."

"You becoming this", Aramais was completely naked now.

Cass looked over him in horror as they took in all of the damage that covered Aramais's body.

"This is from my trainers fucking me up so I was tough enough for my missions", Aramais spun around slowly so Cass could see everything, "this is what Mitch did to Whumpee. If you don't believe me, check with Caretaker so you can have access to the images."

A guard handed a prepared sedation.

"Crap, this is supposed to be administered before he gets out of the chair", Andy looked at Aramais.

"Just do it", Aramais sighed, "I'm fine, step back Cass."

Andy prepped the skin.

"Administering low dose sedation to the human weapon Aramais", Andy announced before pricking Aramais, "sedation administered."

"Guards are in place. We are ready for attempt two of the shower", the guards stood at ready.

"Soap, shampoo, and washcloth. I have the towel", Andy walked with Aramais to the shower, "are we ready to test the music theory."

"Yes, remember, no classical music, it's what my trainers listened to", Aramais watched Andy walk away.

"I set up a playlist of different genres to see what works best. If you don't like it, say no, and I'll quickly switch it. I'll save whatever you do like", Andy looked around to make sure everything was in place, "test two, attempting music to calm Aramais while he showers, starting now."

"Nope, nope. Turn it. Turn it.", Aramais yelled before he could even start, "I guess they listened to a lot of that too."

"Got it, no country", Andy started a new song, and started to delete all of the country songs.

"I think the music is helping, at least a little. I feel like I need to punch something though", Aramais sighed and looked at Andy, "do you think the Director would get upset if I punched the wall?"

"I'm sure he'd rather you punch the wall instead of one of us", Andy looked over the playlist, "try not to break anything including your....", Aramais punched the wall full force, "... fingers", Andy looked up.

"Well that will need a bandage", Aramais looked over his fingers, "got some blood, I didn't break anything shockingly."

"There's a dent in the wall now", a guard sighed.

"Hopefully the Director doesn't notice", Aramais looked at Andy.

"I'll talk to the Director about putting a punching bag in here", Andy made a note, "are you doing okay."

"Right now yes, I'm not sure about my head going into the water though. That's why I did my body first", Aramais paused suddenly.

"No, no, no", Aramais leaned against the wall and took some deep breaths.

The guards stepped forward.

"He didn't say to sedate yet. Stand down until he says", Andy held out a hand, "Aramais talk to me, what's wrong."

Aramais shook, "turn.... that song.... off. No more music", Aramais slid down to the shower floor and banged his fist against the wall in annoyance.

Andy paused the song, "are you with us Aramais?"

Aramais turned slowly, and looked at the guards.

"Sedate, sedate", Andy yelled.

Aramais stood as one of the guns was fired.

Suddenly Aramais shook his head, he gave a concerned look to Andy, "another one quick, survival mode is triggering. Sedate me."

Another sedation dart was fired.

Andy pushed Cass behind him.

Aramais lowered himself to the floor, he shook as he fought against his survival mode.

Aramais moaned as his head fell, his body went limp.

"Shit", Aramais mumbled as the sedative put him under.

Andy carefully walked to Aramais.

"He's out", Andy sighed, "Cass can you get me my stethoscope, I don't like how quickly we had to sedate him with the second dose."

Cass timidly walked over to Andy.

"We need to rinse the soap off", Andy listened to Aramais's heart rate, "it's okay for right now, I'll check periodically."

Cass helped rinse and dry Aramais.

"He looks like he's in pain, even when he is unconscious", Cass helped pull pants onto the limp body, "I didn't realize just how bad this was for him."

"He probably is in pain", Andy frowned, "this is a lot of trauma for him to fight through just so the others might have an easier time showering, this includes other sights as well. Anything we find that works will be messaged to the others."

Andy sighed, "we need to stop by the medical clinic to wrap his hand, and I'll need a painkiller for when he wakes up."

"We?", Cass looked at Andy, "you still want my help."

"Is that okay?", Andy pulled Aramais into a sitting position.

The guards helped lift Aramais into the chair.

"Should we put a shirt on him?", a guard picked up Aramais's abandoned shirt.

"He's got blood all over him from the bloody knuckles. I'm just going to wrap a towel around him", Andy tightened the last restraint, "I'll need to come back and clean this up", Andy looked around.

"I'll do it", Mcgee suddenly peaked in, "I heard you yell sedate, so I've been listening. I'll clean this up, get him to Medic before that sedative wares off."

"Thankyou Mcgee", Andy pushed the chair out and saw Caretaker and the Director.

"He got farther. His body was fully lathered and we rinsed him off. He said he didn't know about doing his hair though. He needed something to punch", Andy reached down and pulled a towel he used to wrap Aramais's hand to stop the blood, "he wond up punching the wall, he left a dent... sorry."

"Okay, that's fine", the Director frowned at the bloody hand.

"Maybe we should consider a punching bag or something in there with them", Andy rewrapped the hand, "we should get going though."

"One more thing", the Director frowned, "this is the last shower this week. He has been fully sedated two days in a row, that could be dangerous. Let's hold off for a few days, go back to the drawing board, and see what can be done for attempt three."

Aramais made some tiny moans.

"Yes sir", Andy nodded.

Once back in Aramais's room, Cass helped lift Aramais to his bed.

"He is heavy", Cass gasped.

"Yep solid muscle", Andy groaned as they moved to the bed.

"Oh thank goodness Mcgee dropped off his stuff. He would not have been happy to lose his slippers", Andy put the slippers on Aramais.

"I'll put the dirty clothes in the pile and pick them up tomorrow", Andy tossed the things to the floor by the door.

"What do you mean", Cass watched.

"Whenever Aramais is done with his clothes and they need washed, he puts them over here for washing. I grab them every morning and put them in the hamper outside of the monitor room. It will be ready for when we do wash day", Andy smiled at Cass, "sorry I don't think you know about wash day."

"No", Cass listened.

"So every Monday we roll the weapons out to a pre-planned spot so they can talk. Two caregivers and three guards pretty much babysit them while the third caregiver goes and cleans out their holding rooms."

"Oh we clean the rooms, I've always wondered", Cass looked.

"If you want and if your schedule allows next Monday, you can come help us a little and see how each of us does it", Andy put Aramais's water next to him, "let's get out, he's gets a little confused when he comes out of sedation."

"I was wondering if I could actually shadow you three. I'll be here the next few days, I really want to see what I'm supposed to do exactly."

"Yes that's fine, I'm sure Caretaker and McGee won't mind.

"I'll go check on Mitch and see if he needs me", Cass walked past the monitor room.

"Okay, I'll be stocking my monitor room", Andy went into the room.

Later, Cass peaked back into the monitor room and found Andy playing a game.

"Hey, could I by chance hang out with you", Cass came in, "Mitch isn't in a great mood right now."

"Yes that's fine", Andy turned the game off, "I'm just waiting for Aramais to wake up."

"I went in and gave him some water, and he yelled at me, so I grabbed my homework, told him goodnight. Then left."

"You still have to check on him tonight, it's still quite a while before lights out", Andy sighed, "I'll go in with you though if you want."

"Okay, I'd appreciate it", Cass frowned.

"Hey, Andy. Aramais's heart rate is going up. It looks like he is waking up", a guard interrupted, "yes he's looking around right now."

"Hey Aramais, here is your requested update. You are coming out from a full sedation following and attempted shower. You have been unconscious for two and half hours now. It is currently seven thirty at night."

Aramais gave the camera a thumbs up before slowly sitting up in bed.

"Ouch", Aramais frowned as he put pressure on his hand. He grabbed his water and started to drink.

"How are you feeling?", the guard asked.

"I have a headache, and I'm regretting punching the wall", Aramais looked at his hand, "I'm really shaky too. I think my blood sugar is low."

"Andy and Cass are coming in. Is that okay?"

"It's fine", Aramais sighed.

"Andy says he needs to check your sugars so get ready for that", the guard added.

"Okay", Aramais leaned his head back.

Andy walked into the room with Cass timidly walking beside him.

"How are you feeling?", Andy set down a few things.

"Like a pincushion", Aramais held out his hand, "I'm really shaky."

Andy came over and pricked Aramais's finger, then took the blood sample. He pressed firmly onto the spot then placed a bandage over it.

"Yep, you're reading at sixty-three for your blood sugar", Andy handed a juice box as he documented the blood sugar, "I'll check again a few minutes after you drink that."

"You missed dinner, which probably explains the low sugar, I can get you something if you feel like eating", Andy sat down.

Aramais struggled to work the straw into the juice.

"Can- can I have some help", Aramais sighed as he gave the juice back to Andy, "I'm really regretting punching the wall. I don't know what hurts worse my head or my hand."

"Doc gave me the pain medicine, do you want it? It's by injection so it will work faster", Andy pulled the shot out, "ready."

"I'm really feeling like a pincushion, but yes, anything to get rid of this headache", Aramais sighed.

As Andy gave the shot, Aramais caught Cass staring.

"How does it feel seeing me as weak?", Aramais asked, "I'm just curious what you're thinking about", Aramais took a sip of the juice, "what might be going through your mind right now?"

Andy looked over at Cass.

"I don't see your trauma responses as weak", Cass admitted, "you're not weak when you are trying your best to help the others."

Aramais grinned, "that means a lot."

"So Cass says Mitch is grumpy today, and wanted to hang out with me. Do you want company or alone time?", Andy asked Aramais.

"Company would be nice", Aramais laid back down, "if you're not busy, that is. I don't feel like eating. I'm a little nauseous from the sedative, maybe a snack later if I can."

"I'm not busy, all of my work is done until you need something", Andy looked at his watch, "I do need to take your blood sugar again though."

Aramais lifted his hand, and waited for Andy.

"I'm not shaky anymore", Aramais sighed as Andy pricked his finger.

"Could I work on my homework in here?", Cass looked at them both.

"I don't see a problem with it", Andy waited for the blood to read, "sugars are going up."

Aramais watched Cass go out of the room, "homework?"

"Cass is still in school. When they are finished they'll be able to jump right into a researcher position", Andy applied pressure to Aramais's finger before putting a bandage on it.

Cass came back in carrying a school bag, "sorry I had to take my pepper spray off. The guards stopped me."

"Pepper spray?", Aramais frowned.

"Yes, in highschool I had a bully. They just so happen to go to my university as well", Cass sighed, "they haven't done anything yet, but they keep getting closer and more threatening."

Aramais gave a weird look.

"I was the weird kid, so I was often a target for bullying", Cass set down his bag, "even in university."

"That sucks", Aramais frowned.

"It is what it is", Cass sighed, "I'm at the top of my class. I like where my life is going, that's all that matters."

Cass sat down, "am I okay right here?"

"That's fine", Andy sat down in a different spot.

"Can I see what your schoolwork looks like?", Aramais started to scoot from his bed, but stopped.

"Um yeah", Cass pushed some of the books down the table closer to Aramais.

Aramais got up and walked closer to the books, "geesh, this is the smart people work", Aramais looked it over, "I was pretty good in school, but not this good."

"Did you like school?", Cass watched Aramais pick up a book.

"It got me out of my house and away from my parents. I liked my teachers too, they took care of me", Aramais admitted, "I had one teacher who always packed me a lunch because my parents often forgot."

"I'm sorry Aramais", Cass listened.

"This book looks interesting", Aramais turned one of the pages, "they were my parents, I often blame them for me becoming homeless. Which is what led me into becoming this."

"Do you like reading? You can read that if you like. I just finished it for a report", Cass watched Aramais flip through some pages.

"Are you sure?", Aramais looked up in shock, "you'd let me borrow it?"

"Yes, I love reading and enjoy spreading the book love", Cass smiled, "you probably get pretty bored in here with nothing to do, I can keep the books coming if you like."

Aramais looked at Andy, "am I even allowed to have books in here?"

"Well, as you say, everything is a weapon. I believe you are allowed to have five personal items at a time outside of what the facility provides you", Andy pulled out his phone to check the rules that were downloaded, "if you get another pair of slippers, that will count as personal property. It looks like you can have one book at a time, just please don't throw it at me."

"I won't", Aramais nodded, "are you sure, Cass? I'll take care of it, I promise."

"Of course you can borrow it, once your done I can bring you a new one", Cass smiled, 'Aramais hasn't been this excited about something for a long time', Cass thought to themself.

"The only rules with personal property, is they need to be signed in with the guards and displayed in view of the cameras", Andy read the rules.

"Thankyou Cass", Aramais grinned, "I really appreciate this. I promise I'll take care of it."

Andy smiled as Aramais started to read before he even climbed into the bed.

Cass smiled at Andy.

"I never even asked if he'd want to read something", Andy sighed, "I feel bad now."

Aramais was already deeply immersed into the book.

"I think he forgot we're here", Andy looked back at Aramais and chuckled.

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all. @villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath @porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13 @notpeppermint @cyborg0109 @idontreallyexistyet @thebejeweledwatercat @painfulplots @whumpbump @everythingsscary

Sp Containment Taglist. @written-by-jayy

#sp special containment #whump community #whumplr #whumblr #original story #whump series #original series #whump stuff #whump writing #whump ideas #whump #whumpee #whump scenario #whumper #caretaking #oc #caretaker

[messedupfan]

When I Look At You | Chapter 1

Summary: Y/n Y/l/n is on a journey of rediscovering what makes life so great. It all starts when a certain woman and her sister move in across the street.

No specific gender for reader

A/N: Well, I kind of just started typing one day and this came out of it. I hope y'all enjoy! Also this is my 200th post!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake up earlier than usual because you were trying to get into a new and healthier routine. Late nights and sleeping during the day simply wasn't going to cut it anymore. However, deciding to start this new routine with a morning jog with only an hour of sleep probably wasn't the best start. At least it was a start, is what you tell yourself as you tighten the laces on your worn out sneakers. 

You plug your earbuds into your cell phone and pick the playlist you spent most of the night organizing to motivate you to exercise. The playlist was much longer than you intended to jog for, but it did help to wake you up. You opened the front door and instead of being greeted by the glaring sun you're used to, it's a dark neighborhood. A few of the residents have their front lights on but it didn't provide much light. As you think about turning around and crashing on the couch, celebrating the effort of simply opening the door, you shake your head to clear it. You wanted to go on the run more than you wanted to sleep on your couch. 

You grab your keys and lock the door behind you before you walk down to the sidewalk and start your jog. That's all it was, a simple jog. No more, and you allowed yourself moments of less. When you return home, breathless and sweaty, the sun is rising. You sit on your front steps to catch your breath and admire the various colors the sun painted the sky with before you headed inside to shower. 

The first thing you do once you get out is order an arm phone holder online. You thought you would be fine just holding it in your hand but you hated it the entire jog. You connected your phone to one of your portable speakers to listen to an audiobook while you made yourself breakfast. It wasn't anything special, scrambled eggs with ketchup and a glass of orange juice, but you remind yourself that it's just a start. 

You check the time on your watch and quickly move to your computer. You join the online meeting with your writing team and they are all surprised to see you clean and alert. “I’m trying something new,” you say sheepishly. They congratulate you and you settle them down to get the meeting started. The deadline for your next book was closing in and you hardly had anything together. Your editor was trying to be patient with you but your agent had a different and much harsher approach to get you focused. “I know, I know,” you sigh into your hands as you stretch the skin on your face down. “It’s just hard to write a continuation of this sappy love story when I'm not the same person that wrote this crap. I was young and in love back when I started this series. I didn't think my life would be where it is today. I just… I can't keep writing this sappy fantasy anymore,” you explain.

“Well the publishing company purchased three more of these written by you and there’s a contract. There's no way out of it, Y/n!” Your manager scolds. “They made sure of it. I had your lawyer look over it plenty of times. You’re writing again and that’s final.”

“Here's an idea,” your assistant chimes in. “You write based on how you're feeling, right? So why not continue to put the characters through what you're feeling now?”

“That's actually not a bad idea,” Mike, the editor, agrees. 

You shake your head, “I don't know guys, I've always been able to keep my characters happy. I can't just jump from a happy ending to a sad beginning. That won't make any sense to my readers.”

“Why not? Isn't that what happened to you?” Natalie, your assistant, presses. “There can’t be an argument of whether or not it’s realistic because things can go wrong fast and they did.” You tell her to watch it but she doesn't let it go. “You've always said that there's a real element to your stories. There's a truth. There's you in it. Well, your life basically blew up out of the blue. Why can't the characters?”

“Because it's not fair to them,” you say with a frown as you pick at the dirt under your fingernails. “Besides, that would be a completely different concept from the one I pitched,” you mutter to your nails. 

Mike asks that you look at him and doesn't stop calling your name until you do. “If you don't want to blow up their lives then you could always write from the way you wish your life was. Give them the life you want.”

“I've tried that! And every time I start writing about… her, what she could've been doing, I just… I can't.” Your eyes begin to water as you feel yourself choke up. You apologize as you sit up straighter in your seat and clear your throat. 

Jan, your agent, sighs impatiently. “Those are your options, get to work or get sued. This meeting is over,” before anyone can say anything, she ends the call. You sigh as you slouch against your office chair. She was right. You needed to get to work. Or deal with the heavy consequences of quitting. 

You open up a new document to give it another shot. Nothing came to mind. It was hard to focus. You just had to organize what you were feeling in order to write off of that. But there were so many emotions that it felt as though there weren’t any at all. You got in a disorganized paragraph of nothing before you cleared the page again. A notification of an email from your best friend, Stevie, pops up in the corner of your screen and you open it. It mentions having found a grief group that they offer to take you to. Attached to the message is a link to the social media page. You breathe in through your nose and sigh out of your mouth reading through the page. 

You promised her that you would live a better life and this seemed like something that would help you get there. You respond to the email, agreeing to attend the meeting with them. You switch back to the empty document and start typing a random string of words. None of them connect into a sentence and they weren't supposed to. It was only to clear the clutter in your mind. 

A few hours later you startle awake from disruptive sounds coming from outside. You wipe your face, feeling the imprint of the keys from the keyboard on your cheek and see a screen of continued letters. You scoff to yourself as you delete the document entirely and open a new one. A few minutes later, you're reminded of the noises that had woken you up in the first place. You rise from the cushiony desk chair and walk over to the front window. Peaking through the blinds you see a moving truck across the street and spot a few women coming in and out of it with only a few boxes at a time. It was going to take them hours at that rate. 

Sitting in the corner of your unkempt living room was a metal dolly that held a few unpacked boxes on it. You figure that it couldn't hurt to be neighborly. So you quickly remove the boxes and roll the cart out of your home. “Um excuse me!” You call out to them from your front porch. It's no surprise they can't hear you from so far away and you silently scold yourself for being so timid. To help you regain some resemblance of confidence in yourself, you wiggle your shoulders to loosen yourself up a bit. 

You roll the dolly across the street and greet the only one outside with a kind smile. “Hi, I'm Y/n, I live across the street and couldn't help but notice you guys didn't have one of these. This thing was a lifesaver during my move.” You offer it to her and she appears to be genuinely pleased by the kindness. 

“Why thank you so much! Are you also offering your help? Because we could really use the extra hands. I had no idea how much crap my daughters owned until I sold our house.” The woman kindly asks with a joke that makes you smile. You are a little reluctant to agree to help but decide that it couldn't hurt to. It's just more steps in the correct direction, you say to motivate yourself. 

“Ugh mom! Please don't tell me you invited someone to come clean the energy of the house! Jules and I already told you the house is fine!” A woman, around your age or younger, grouches to the woman you were speaking with. The older woman rolls her eyes at her daughter's tone as she tells you to ignore her. “Thank you for driving out here but really, we don't need your services.” 

“Actually, sweetheart, this is your new friendly neighbor from across the street. They came over here to offer their assistance. Isn't that nice?” 

“Oh,” the younger woman says, regretting her entrance. “I am so sorry, my mother has a lot of weird friends that do a lot of weird things.” She extends her hand out with an obviously forced polite smile. “I'm Leigh, it's nice to meet you…” she offers you a chance to introduce yourself and you nervously do so. 

“My goodness!” Leigh's mother exclaims. “I apologize for being so rude! I must've lost my manners. I’m Amy Shaw, it's been a pleasure making your acquaintance.” You move your hand from Leigh's to Amy's and give it a quick shake. 

“It's really no problem. And it's nice to meet you both,” you get the dolly ready to move, “Shall we?” 

“Right!” Leigh turns around and climbs onto the truck. You roll the dolly up the ramp and help them unload the moving truck one load at a time. Along the way, you meet the third person, Jules. She introduced herself as you passed her. You learned that it was Leigh and Jules that were moving into this house together because neither could afford to live alone and their mom had, as she mentioned, already sold their childhood home. Amy agreed to help them find somewhere affordable for the both of them and cover the cost of moving. The place wasn’t much but it was a place to live. 

When all of the boxes and the furniture is moved in, the group of them invite you to stay for pizza and you politely decline the offer. “I unfortunately have somewhere to be.” You check the time on your watch and your heart picks up with anxiety. “I actually need to get home and get cleaned up. But it was lovely meeting all of you.” 

“Thank you so much for all of your help, really,” Leigh says as she steps around a few boxes to get closer to you. “I'll um, I'll walk you out?” She offers and when you try to decline, she only becomes more insistent. You clamp your mouth shut and gesture for her to lead the way. “Are you sure there isn't anything we could do to pay you for your help?” she asks once the two of you are out of earshot of everyone else. 

“Of course not, I offered to help. I wasn't hired,” you shrug.

“That is a very good point,” she says with a smile. “Well, thank you again for your help. If you ever need any help, well, you know where I live,” her light joke actually makes you laugh a little. Something that was hard to come by unless it was forced. “I do have a question for you though,” you hold your breath and feel your body grow tense as you wait. “Why do you look so familiar?” Her eyes are squinted ever so slightly and she crosses her arms over her chest as the two of you reach the end of her driveway. 

You nervously scratch behind your ear as you decide whether or not you want to lie to this person. She was going to find out regardless if you wanted her to or not. “Uh I'm not sure, I've had a few books published. There's a photo of me in the back of them. Other than that… I'm not really sure. But I'm certain we haven't met before today.” As she hears what you're saying it clicks in her mind where she has seen you before. You see the moment she connects the dots as soon as her face transitions from polite to sympathetic. Every bone in your body starts screaming at you to run.

“I lost my husband almost two years ago.  It's not the same as losing a child but… it was rough.” She rushes out. “And his might've been a suicide. I’ll never know for sure whether or not it was an accident.” Leigh seems to get lost in her head a bit and you shift uncomfortably. 

“I’m very sorry to hear that. May I ask why you are telling me this,” you say slowly. 

She looks at you with a small frown. “I guess, I'm trying to say sorry for your loss without saying those words exactly. I know that I hated hearing those words after Matt passed away but I have yet to figure out what should be said instead.”

“It definitely needs a little more work,” you say lightly and she smiles. “Thank you, I suppose. Uh…” you look at your watch and see that it's getting closer to the time that your friend is coming to pick you up and you're not certain you want them to anymore. “This might be too personal of a question but… Did you ever attend a support group after your husband passed?” 

“Ah, is that what you're anxious about?” You give her a confused expression and she apologizes. “Your face kind of drops every time you look at your watch,” she points out and you feel your cheeks heat up from the inability to hide your emotions. “I went to them for a while. I still go sometimes… It's… well, it's kind of something to just do. I didn't always like going in the beginning but I would still make time for it. I found it helpful sometimes. It was nice to kind of process in a room full of strangers that kind of get it, you know?” 

“So you think it's worth it?”

“I think it couldn't hurt to try but I don't really know you well enough to help you make that decision.”

Your lips raise in a small amused smile. “Smart,” you remark. Leigh nods in acknowledgement. “I think I’m going to give it a shot,” you say and give a small awkward wave goodbye. You cross the street to your house and take another shower with your music playing through a small portable speaker. Once you’re dressed, you lock your front door and sit on the porch steps as you wait for your ride. You weren’t going to allow yourself to talk yourself out of going. 

Anxiously, you check your watch and your phone as you wait for Stevie. You watch a pizza delivery car appear and disappear when you finally decide to call your friend. They apologize, and explain that traffic was worse than usual. You laugh and tell them that it was California, of course it was bad. Then you tell them that you’ll be waiting for them and hopefully the two of you weren’t too late to the meeting. When you hang up the phone, you look up to see someone approaching you with a plate in her hands. “I thought you might be hungry,” Leigh says as she gets closer. 

“Just couldn’t stay away from me, could you?” You tease her. She scoffs as she hands you the flimsy paper plate. “Thank you, I appreciate this.” You notice that she has a second plate and although it’s the last thing you want to do, you scoot over to make some room for her. “I could use the company,” you shyly remark as you take a bite of the pizza. 

“I suppose I can stay for a bit,” she says as though it was an inconvenience. Just as you’re about to come up with a clumsy response she sits down and nudges you with a short laugh as she tells you that she was only kidding. “I saw you all alone out here and couldn’t decide if you were waiting for someone or trying to convince yourself to leave.” 

“Ah, the curiosity must’ve been eating you alive.”

“That, and I have a bet with Jules. Five bucks if I’m right and ten if I can convince you to get in your car.” You laugh at their little game as you ask what her sister gets if she wins. “If she’s right she gets the five dollars, ten if it’s a date.” 

You scratch at your chin, still amused by their bet, and curious about how much Leigh has told her sister about you. “Interesting, so I’m assuming she doesn’t know about… me.” Leigh shakes her head and clears her throat as she explains that she felt it wasn’t her place. You thank her again. “I hate to make you lose five dollars, but I am indeed waiting for a friend. Not a date though. I needed someone to take me to this thing,” you elaborate for her. 

Leigh snaps her fingers and clicks her teeth. “Damn, and here I thought I was the expert on all things grief,” she jokes. 

“A little more research and I’m sure you’ll get there. Everyone is different, you know, and all you have to go on is your own experience.” You say more than you probably should have but Leigh doesn’t say anything against it. She goes quiet as she considers your words instead of telling you she was only making a joke. 

“So, okay, like I despised hearing the words ‘sorry for your loss’ but maybe someone like you might’ve appreciated them?” Leigh tries to further the conversation and you take notice. 

You hum as you think about it. “I don’t think I’m the type that despises or appreciates that phrase, but it’s not to say that someone out there does or doesn’t. I don’t care either way, to me they’re just words.”

“Uh-huh, and is that something you would want your readers to know?” 

You scoff, “What do my readers have to do with it?”

“Well, you would think a published author would care more about words than anyone else. I’m only a freelance no-name writer and even I am meticulous with the words and phrases I use in a piece.” Leigh explains and you instantly feel your blood run cool and your heart rate pick up. 

“Are you a reporter?” You ask carefully. 

Her eyes widen as she jumps into apologies. “Gosh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. No, I used to write an advice column and now I just write product reviews or about my journey as a widow. I’ve never done a sneaky piece on a person. Except for one time in college but the guy was a total douche,” she quickly explains. You nod, clenching and unclenching your jaw rapidly as you decide whether or not you’re going to trust this kind stranger. 

You clear your throat and set the paper plate under your foot as you wipe your hands. “I suppose, words, as many other things in my life, have lost meaning to me. I don’t know whether or not I care that my readers know that. My team might but even they don’t matter as much to me as they used to. At this point in my life, if I wasn’t under contract, I wouldn’t give a fuck if I never wrote another book again.” 

Leigh nods slowly, she remembers not caring if the world kept spinning. But she could see how you were likely suffering more than her, you lost your family in one fell swoop whereas she only lost her husband. As Danny had rudely pointed out to her once, she could remarry. But you can’t get your child back. It had to be different for you and so much worse. In the grand scheme of things, Leigh reminded herself, a death was still a death. Your child will never grow to graduate or marry or have kids of their own. Matt graduated and married but there was still so much life he had yet to live. She had to shut her eyes to clear her head and stop the comparisons. They were no use to anybody. “Can I have your book deal then?” She slips in the joke. You look at her with a scoff and she has a slow growing smile that only makes you laugh even more. 

Stevie pulls up and hears your uncontrollable laughter when they roll down their window. They shut the car off and strut up the driveway to see what has gotten you to laugh that loud for the first time in forever. They notice the woman laughing next to you and smile. “Hello!” They greet with a big smile. Your laughter dies out, and so does Leigh’s. She is a little sad that the conversation with you has to end, but is also glad that you’ll get to experience a meeting. “Sorry I’m so late, traffic was dreadful,” Stevie introduces themself to Leigh with a sharp handshake. 

“I’m Leigh, Y/n’s new neighbor,” she greets. They ask how long she’s been in the neighborhood because they haven’t seen her around before. “Oh just today, actually, Y/n saved us while we were unloading the truck.” 

“Oh, Y/n has always worked fast like that,” Stevie teases. 

“Watch it,” you warn your friend as you pick up the empty plates. “They’re full of shit. Don’t believe a word they say,” you mutter to Leigh. “About time you got here, by the way,” you say to your friend before telling them that you’re going to toss the plates and then the two of you can go. 

  Stevie replaces you on the steps that Leigh has yet to move from. “So,” they drag out suggestively. “What are your intentions with my best friend?” 

Leigh lets out a short laugh. “Nothing, I’m only being neighborly.” 

Stevie squints their eyes skeptically, “You know about them, don’t you?” Leigh was surprised by your friend's sensitive intuition, but she didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. She doesn’t say a word before Stevie starts talking again. “Mourning author with a popular series and more money than any individual needs access to…” they tiptoe around accusing Leigh to test out her response. Unfortunately for your friend, you return having overheard the small exchange. 

“You know, Stevie, you’re the only gold digger around here for miles,” you defend.

They flip their hair and strike a pose, “You flatter me too much, darling. This is California!” They shout the last word to the quiet neighborhood. “We’re everywhere, doll!”

You look to Leigh with apologetic eyes for your eccentric friend, “Please do not let my poor choice in friendship be a reflection of me. Stevie isn’t usually this…” you wave your hand in Stevie’s direction as you fail to come up with a descriptive word. Giving up, you sigh. “Well, no, this is just Stevie.” 

Stevie dips their chin towards their chest to lower their sunglasses, “And don’t you forget it, darling! Now, we must be on our way!” Stevie stands from the steps and offers their hand to Leigh again. “Tootles, hun, it was fabulous to meet you!” They walk off to the car and Leigh can’t help but burst out into another big laugh. 

You stand there blushing, waiting for a moment to speak. “Yeah, uh, Stevie was the first friend I made when I moved to LA as a starving artist. They’re not a bad person, they can just be… a lot.” You explain. 

Leigh settles her laughter as she tells you that it’s fine. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. Stevie seems great. I didn’t enjoy the implications, but I get feeling protective over those you care about. If I had a friend like you, I’m sure I wouldn’t want anyone to talk to them during their most vulnerable time either.” 

You worry that it means this will be the last conversation that the two of you will have. Part of you hopes that is the case. The last thing you needed to do was move on so quickly. Or was that exactly what you needed? You clear your throat. “Right, well, I should go. Thank you for the pizza and the company.” You say politely before wishing her a goodnight and walking to the waiting car. 

“I like her,” Stevie says as they pull away. “But you’re not ready for her. Keep your distance.” You sigh as you connect your phone to Stevie’s car and play some music to help calm your anxiety.

Chapter 2

Taglist: @abimess @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29

#leigh shaw #fanfiction #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x reader #sorry for your loss imagine #leigh shaw x y/n #leigh shaw x you #messedupfan #when i look at you

[aphelea]

my entry for the reading rumble round 2! here's my fitz vacker playlist. it is intended to be listened to in order, but you don't necessarily have to. it's also generally in chronological order of the series (with the first song referring to fitz meeting sophie in book 1.)

@camelspit @arson-anarchy-death

Famous Last Words

Now I know that I can't make you stay

But where's your heart?

But where's your heart?

But where's your-

And I know there's nothing I can say

To change that part

To change that part

To change…

This song describes both Fitz’s reaction to Keefe running away in Neverseen and Fitz’s feelings toward Alvar after the latter’s betrayal. In the song, the singer repeatedly reminds themselves that they cannot force the subject of the song to stay, in the same way that Fitz cannot force Keefe or Alvar to stay with the Black Swan instead of joining the Neverseen. However, Fitz is still both angry and in disbelief, hence the repeated, “But where’s your heart?” The specific mention of “heart” also ties into Keefe’s ability as an Empath, and the turmoil that causes him during the events of Neverseen. These lines reflect Fitz’s shock, anger, and disbelief at his best friend running away, and the blame he places on Keefe, as well as his growing anger toward Alvar. 

So many bright lights, they cast a shadow, but can I speak?

Well, is it hard understanding, I'm incomplete?

A life that's so demanding

I get so weak

A love that's so demanding

I can't speak

These bright lights have always blinded me

These bright lights have always blinded me, I say

“Bright lights” and “a life that’s so demanding” refer to Fitz’s position in the spotlight as a Vacker. He cannot speak freely about either Keefe’s or Alvar’s betrayal, in order to preserve their reputations. Fitz is stuck in the “shadow” of his family’s reputation, in which his anger is able to fester. At the same time, however, he feels “incomplete” without his brother and his best friend. Before learning of his betrayal, Fitz idolized Alvar—and with that rosy-eyed view of him forcibly ripped away, Fitz now has a gaping hole in his view of the world. He is both incomplete and growing weak under the never-ending set of demands his life holds for him—and all the while, seething quietly at the two people he held to such high regard so soon earlier. 

Golden

How cruel is the golden rule

When the lives we lived are only golden-plated?

This song is a reflection on Fitz’s experiences with fame, reputation, and various relationships throughout his life. The “golden rule” refers to the idea that people should treat others the same way they want to be treated. Fitz is grappling with the application of this rule to real life, as the people he knows do not necessarily follow this rule, or often follow it superficially. For example, the kindness that Alvar showed to him was only “golden-plated,” as he was really working with the Neverseen behind Fitz’s back. Fitz’s life could also be considered “only golden-plated,” because while many have assumed that his life as a Vacker is perfect, he has been forced to deal with the true extent of the “Vacker legacy.” 

And I knew that the lights of the city

Were too heavy for me

Though I carried carats

For everyone to see

Similarly, the weight of the Vacker reputation (or, “the lights of the city”) is sometimes “too heavy” for Fitz to bear. He struggles with maintaining the Vacker reputation, especially after Alvar’s betrayal when Alden and Della become much more secluded. He pretends that he is fine, that he is less affected by his echoes than he truly is—but, as we can see in he and Sophie’s Telepathy sessions, he is struggling. 

And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies

And all the lovers with no time for me

The first line of this section reflects Fitz’s interactions with Alvar at the end of Flashback. He stares, motionless, at the tank in which Alvar is drowning—and he stops pressing buttons. He sees his own reflection in the glass—sees Alvar’s body beyond it—and he quietly accepts his brother’s death. The second line refers to his relationship with Sophie: ultimately, at the time they chose to date, they simply did not have time to communicate well with each other, leading to their break-up. 

Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams

Where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens

This first line refers to the “electric” fervour with which Fitz chased his goals. He spent years searching for Sophie, at the cost of his education, and finally found her. He longs to be a powerful Telepath, and, later, to make his brother pay the price for his betrayal. The second line reflects how the search for Sophie and the fight against the Neverseen have altered his teenage years, making him unable to enjoy the “spark” of teenage friendship or romance due to the events happening around him. 

No Sleep

Right or wrong, no longer black and white

Caught between walls, no victor in the fight

Oh, right or wrong, round and round and round

No sleep tonight

Throughout the series, Fitz—like many of the characters—faces moments in which the lines between the “right” or “wrong” decision are blurred. As he comes to understand the real history of the Lost Cities, he realizes that what he grew up knowing and hearing isn’t the full story. The rules of his life are no longer as black and white as they once were. Additionally, these lines could refer to his relationships with Sophie and Keefe—two friendships that are not exactly easygoing. All parties have done things that hurt the others, so there is “no victor in the fight” in their friendships. 

3 AM in bed, open eyes seein' red

What's the matter, baby? (Baby)

Ego got your tongue?

Won't let up until you've won

Guess I'm the one caving

Typing, deleting, overthinking

Seeking deeper breaths and meanings

This is my hill to die on, you can climb on

But no, I am never leaving

This verse could be considered a conversation between Fitz and himself—he’s “seeing red” after Alvar and Keefe’s betrayal. He is unsure how to communicate with his friends (“typing, deleting, overthinking”) and with Sophie. 

Broken rose lenses

Grey smoke rising

Had enough of this suppression

Baby, we're burning

No time to learn a lesson

Love is dying

And all the walls are dead ends

“Broken rose lenses” refers to the removal of naivety or optimism—the specific use of the word ”broken” implying that this naivety was forcibly removed rather than simply grown out of. This can be seen in Fitz’s life as he is faced with a plethora of shocking, perspective-shifting events throughout the early series—first, Sophie’s kidnapping, and notably his father’s break. The fire metaphors also call back to the importance of Everblaze in early books—Fitz’s perspective of the Lost Cities is “burning” down, just like Everblaze took Oblivimyre. 

General explanations of the rest of the playlist:

Everything Has Changed: Fitz meeting Sophie in Book 1.

Anti-Curse: Fitz's experience with friendship/general social life in the early books.

Violet: Similar to above, Fitz's social life specifically as a Vacker.

Disenchanted: The realization that the Lost Cities isn't entirely what he thought it was and running away to join the Black Swan in Neverseen.

Untouchable: In Neverseen, Fitz realizing his romantic feelings for Sophie.

Salt and the Sea: Fitz and Keefe's friendship, throughout Neverseen and as Keefe runs away.

The Beach: Fitz's relationship with Sophie through Nightfall and Flashback.

Liability: Fitz's emotions after he and Sophie break up.

Tired: Fitz's thoughts from the end of Flashback to Stellarlune.

#apologies if this makes no sense i just remembered that i will not have internet for like 2 days and therefore wouldn't have been— #—able to write this tonight. so i wrote it in the middle of the night as you do #i'm actually quite proud of this playlist though. they're usually pretty difficult for me to do #i focused a lot on fitz's relationship with alvar because it's just so fascinating.didn't have books on me so i couldn't get quotes but ala #roisin's reading rumble #kotlc #fitz vacker

[dancing-to-architecture]

I'M BACK? I'M BACK!

40 - Jimi Hendrix - Are You Experienced?

So happy to have an album that isn't going to be torture to get through. Almost every track on this album is on *at least* one playlist of mine.

Purple Haze-

An absolute monster opening riff leading into one of the better songs of all time.

So, i know i have Unusual Opinions regarding music and musicians, and one of my stronger ones that I have is that Jimi Hendrix was very likely bi.

"Hold on now!" come the cries of the boomers. "prove it! Prove that the always flamboyant, immaculate, WAY ahead of his time, extremely fashion-forward and highly passionate rock star who tragically died young might be bi!".

To which i say: "did you even hear a word of what you just said?" He straight-up says "excuse me while i kiss this guy" and the entire English-speaking world collectively went "no, no, that's not what he said, he said... Kiss... umm... the sky! Yeah, that totally makes sense!".

Except i used to have a live recording of this song where he very clearly said "while i kiss. that. guy." Keeping in mind that this was before Freddie Mercury or David Bowie could sit down for an interview and say something like "I'm openly bisexual, i fancy both men and women, to roughly the same degree." and the interviewer would then immediately say some dumb shit like :"yes, but why are you gay?"

In short: Jimi was bi, most music magazine interviewers are crap, they have been crap for a long time, bisexual erasure happens TODAY, so of course it would have happened 50 years ago, deal with it.

Manic Depression-

I absolutely love this song. Also, and more distressingly, I also absolutely relate to this song.

The solo is insane, the riff work is phenomenal, and the bass and drums are perfectly in the pocket. (Also, for what seems like a fairly simple drum beat, it's MUCH harder to keep that constantly-shifting time signature in your head than one would think.)

Hey Joe-

Is this the best song about "murdering your cheating spouse and then fleeing the country" ever written? I think so.

I mean, I'd put the Dixie Chicks' "Goodbye, Earl" up there, but I don't think she left her hometown after the murder.

At any rate, a psychotic psychedelic R&B classic.

Love or Confusion-

An anthem for all the autistic folks out there like myself who genuinely can't tell if a person is actively flirting with them or just being polite.

May This Be Love-

I will always be in favor of daydreaming like a lazy-minded fool.

Much more mellow than the earlier songs on the album have been, but Jimi still works in some outstanding guitar noodling.

I would bet money this song was an influence on Incubus's "Aqueous Transmission".

I Don't Live Today-

The biggest goddamn mood on the album, and how I feel almost every time I'm made aware of The News.

The Wind Cries Mary-

Another absolute classic song. Sad but beautiful.

Kurt Vonnegut's lament: "So it goes..." in song form.

When I was young, (for some reason) I thought he was referencing the Virgin Mary. Now, I think she might have just been more of "the one who got away".

Fire-

People of a certain generation and a specific level of culture will likely associate this song with Tia Carrera.

Either way, this song melts faces. The drummer is a goddamn maniac on this one.

Third Stone From The Sun-

I've never listened to this album on acid, but this song seems perfect for that exact mindset with the trippy, heavily-distorted vocals.

It kicks ass, though, don't get me wrong.

Foxey Lady-

People of a certain generation and a specific level of culture will likely associate this song with Dana Carvey wearing a flannel shirt tied around his waist.

(Look, if you haven't seen Wayne's World, you owe it to yourself to do so.)

Are You Experienced?-

The last line of this one (not necessarily stoned but beautiful) always made me figure that "being experienced" is a shibboleth for anything from "you smoke trees?" to "DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE MACHINE ELVES?!"

and damn do I love the backwards drumming.

Stone Free-

Okay, Jimi, I'm pretty sure they DID realize they "were the ones who's square". That's why they would stare at your bizarre marching band leader outfits. (I'm absolutely Not knocking his bizarre marching band leader outfits, I honestly wish I had the panache to pull that kinda shit off.)

51st Anniversary-

Man, between Stone Free and this one right after, I'm guessing Jimi didn't think much of marriage, huh?

Idk, as a happily married man, this one just doesn't click with me.

Highway Chile-

This very easily could have been me after the army, if I had had a car that actually worked.

Can You See Me-

This one rings a bit hollow after all the earlier "yeah, baby, I'm out of here, see ya never, no strings on me" songs, just saying.

It rocks, nonetheless. Also maybe the only time "aww, shucks" had been uttered in a song that still goes this hard.

Remember-

See directly above, except the aww shucks part.

Red House-

And this one, right at the end, proves the hollowness of the last two broken hearted songs in my eyes.

"Girl left while I was gone? Welp. Fuck it, her sister was cute."

A monster of a blues track, regardless. One of my favorites, and that solo is INSANE.

Favorite Track: This is a tough one. A close race, but it's Purple Haze by a nose.

Least Favorite Track: Remember. It's barely about the girl in question! It's about the bird that won't sing and the dumped dude who won't eat because he has the sads.

Sorry about the long time since last time, full disclosure I got thoroughly addicted to a podcast called Kill James Bond, wherein three trans people discuss (and frequently skewer) the poster boy for toxic masculinity. It's fantastic.

#1001 albums #dancing to architecture #jimi hendrix #are you experienced

[riewritten]

CHAPTER 5. THE UNDERGROUND COMMUNE

EDGE OF THE PRECIPICE — DIRECTORY

ERWIN X FEM!READER, ERWIN X YOU, NO Y/N | hurt/comfort, angst, mystery, childhood friends, fake marriage, modern au, parallel universe, reincarnation, mentions of canon, pining commander erwin smith, trauma, manipulation, referenced child abuse, violence, psychological torture

SUMMARY: Aggressive land grabbing from the royal government ensue from one countryside to the other, all allegedly for the prophecy: a tree, vast source of power that'd bring great abundance and prosperity to mankind, is standing among their lands. As the said prophecy holds the answer to the tragic childhood you have no memories of, the guerilla's commander pulls out something he prepared for years to help. AO3 | FANFICTION

WORDS: 5.5k | Want to get tagged for the succeeding chapters? Sign up here.

TO COMPENSATE FOR MY SUBSTANDARD NARRATION OF ACTION SCENES, please listen to AOT playlist while reading this chapter (please omfg)

They say dreams appear for a reason, mayhaps a message delivered by the deepest of consciousness.

Or maybe, maybe just a gut feeling. A terrible, terrible gut feeling.

When you opened your eyes again, it was the gentle smell of Erwin's sheets. Unaware of what time it is, your eyes averted to where he is — office table meters away, holding a pen, and you don't know how long he's been disregarding the pile of documents to watch you sleep.

"Sorry, I got your bed." You groggily sat and rubbed your eyes. "What time is it?"

"Past midnight. And you've always been getting my bed, for the record."

"It smells good, I’m really sorry," you groaned, guilty that you disturbed his supposed rest. "You can lie down now."

And yet, you can't bring yourself to stand up and walk, and instead, settled at the edge of the bed to hug your knees. You feel horrid and sick in the stomach.

Erwin followed suit but he didn't lie down. Instead, he sat beside you to examine your demeanor, a bit confused. "You look like the one who got the bed taken over and wasn't able to sleep."

“It was a bad sleep.”

Strangely, the dream wasn't in any way horrid. It was about the earlier times —  back when you’re still yet to adjust to what life beyond Mitras could offer. Spending most of your time being a bystander was terrible as everyone already had their circles upon your arrival. It's not that you were a loner; you tried. You tried because only if the people in Mitras did not spoil you with intimacy, you'd be able to endure living a life without companions.

Back then, just when you were about to cry, Petra sat beside you and offered a bag of carrots.

You look up at her, perplexed, as she remained shy. She knew how random it was; how weird for a classmate you hadn’t even conversed with yet to offer you that much.

“I-I was wondering if you’d like some. The harvest in my province soared so well and my family thought it’d be a good idea to share some with my classmates.” She fidgeted, a bit too nervous if you’d accept it or not. “With the price of vegetables hiking up in the capital, I do think it really would help, y-you know…?”

You looked around the room, then. Most of your classmates had the same bag. Some were smiling, some were chuckling at the strange encounter, some were talking about how rare it was to encounter a province girl as they all grew up in the capital, and the rest were talking about the dishes they plan to cook with all those carrots.

Almost all of them find Petra weirdly amusing, but endearing nonetheless. You were no exception. It explains why you tailed her after that encounter, just like how you did to Erwin back then. And oh, she let you — happily so — as she’s having quite a hard time finding her clique too. Both of you came from measly provinces, who would understand the alienation of the capital better than both of you? Petra, despite having the same willingness to be with you the way people in Mitras — especially Erwin — did, had the gentleness you hadn’t experienced yet. Despite the similarity they possess, Erwin doesn’t have the softness she has. Petra doesn’t exude the feeling of authority that makes you quite scared to counter. It was like they were coexisting in a circle of yin and yang. One of them being taken away from you would rattle the balance and ruin your core.

You wonder what was so bad with a dream reiterating that fact.

“Bad sleep,” he mused, “did it involve fires?”

“No, it was a good dream.”

But then finally, the feeling made sense in you.

Your breath hitched and turned to him in alarm, “Something bad is going to happen.”

A line almost everyone dismisses; everyone except Erwin, for some strange reason.

Maybe he knows you always end up right.

He observed your body language first to see if assistance to calm down is needed, but you’re quite too agitated in getting your point across. “Something bad is going to happen! Where is—”

"A grave news came, Commander!" The subordinate banged the door open which quickly plastered him with shame under the assumption that he interrupted a supposedly intimate moment. However, “The people stationed in Stohess for this week are—”

Blood quickly drained in you. “What happened?” 

“The armed forces released a statement about killing a whole unit of rebels in an armed encounter. But the units reported otherwise moments before the crackdown! If there really was an encounter, then—then they’d call on us for backup!” the man cracked in tears. “They were caught alive defenseless and tortured before killed!”

“What did the statement say?”

“There were censored photographs of a dead body, which we recognized from—” and with that, the man finally broke down.

“From whom! Speak properly!” You shouted, the utter panic overruling any semblance of sympathy.

“It was Petra. They—they publicized the cadaver of Petra.”

Your consciousness crumbled, depriving you of hearing anything, not even the Commander’s additional inquiries about the tragedy, not even when your feet moved on their own in barging out of the room. When you came down to the meeting hall, everyone was crying, crying for the most endearingly amusing comrade who gave no one exception with her kindness.

“Show me the photograph released by the military.”

Moblit shook his head and folded the laptop down, “It won’t be a good idea. Besides, it’s censor—”

You cut him off harshly but shoving the laptop open, and there it goes. It was censored, yes, but the hues of orange cannot be mistaken. 

Alongside the blood all over was her twisted neck.

The poor girl was indeed tortured. 

Not only that, her photograph was posted to send a message. Petra was a college student on the surface, after all, and known for her critical stances against the prophecy. They were exposing a college student's body — a body born by the measly farm they aim to conquer — to deliver a message: trying to go against the likes of the Reiss would end you up in the same fate.

“Anna, stop—”

“Don’t call me Anna,” you spat weakly. The fact that it was given by the person who instigated the said prophecy reeked your very core. Moblit was confused, but you followed up with a question, “Where’s the body?”

“As per the statement, they will deliver her remains to the bereaved family in Orvud. It’s not that hard to deduce that they’ll use her as collateral to finally take ownership of that farm.”

“They wouldn’t have the time to chase over a measly farm if we take over one of their greatest assets.”

“What do you mean by that, Commander?”

“They thought displaying Petra’s body in public would be for their benefit as she was a high-profile advocate on the surface.” Erwin pointed out before turning to everyone. “Moblit, have the guerilla’s public information office release a statement of condemnation and urge the sympathizers to join us. Miche, have our legal forces at the university, precisely Petra’s friends, do the same. Our goal is to have everyone join the rebellion. If we manage to gather that much, then we could finally commence The Underground Commune.”

“Commune? Do you mean—”

“Yes, the whole Underground District will be filled with our forces, up to a point where they have to halt the land-taking operations over the country. They can’t afford to lose the Underground, not when lots of nobility eye this place. No matter how abandoned it seems, this place holds the key to the development of Eldia.” He shot you a short look before giving the final command. “The state forces want us to fear them by disrespecting Petra’s remains and we know better than to prove them right. Petra did not deserve to die, none of our late comrades did, and publicizing her murder was their greatest mistake. Carry that as you fight later on.” Miche flashed the map for Erwin to instruct the base plan while you and the others assemble your guns and green cloaks.

The Eldian Guerillas had wings in its cloak — you caressed yours one last time, as from hereon your other half’s wings are engraved on it. It will never be the same again, but unlike Furlan’s, you’ve now accepted that fact — resolutely so.

ERWIN WAS RIGHT. The military police expected retaliation, but they thought the fear would overrule especially among the legal forces.

The sympathizers assembled a mobilization without arms at hand, nothing but placards calling for their justice. The military police let them be; mobilizations are not intimidating for them after all, not when they begin the program with just around twenty people at most. However, when piles of people came until they covered the whole road, the military police called for backups. It was too late, though, because when a citizen chanted;

“Petra’s remains were your greatest mistake!”

Then the other side added, “They were seeds that you planted,”

“Whom shall sprout countless Eldians who’d dedicate their hearts to continue what they started!”

“Dedicate your hearts!”

“Dedicate your hearts!”

Soon after, spikes of metal strings were heard. People with green cloaks came flying in the air and landed on different roofs. The military police regretted their leniency.

The citizens looked up, some of which are in awe, and shouts of cheer loudened.

“Disrespecting Petra’s remains was your greatest mistake!”

“They were seeds that you planted,”

“Whom shall sprout countless Eldians who’d dedicate their hearts to continue what they started!”

“Dedicate your hearts! Dedicate your hearts!”

A squad leader from the MP shouted in both anger and surprise as this is the first time guerillas appeared in the capital — this is the first time they’ll see the face of ruthless Commander that wreaked havoc in Orvud. “Our comrades were subdued by the 47th Interior Unit and their remains are being prepared for release. We will not back off with empty hands, Petra will be brought home by us! Soldiers, advance!”

“Finally unleashing your true colors now, huh? Hundreds of citizens will die if you pushed through this, you damned in the head Commander! So much for fighting for their so-called emancipation!”

But then, not long after that remark, citizens brought out something from their sleeves. The Military Police panicked and immediately readied to fire upon realizing that everyone was armed.

If one were to look from afar, it could be deemed how gun turns people into killing machines whose every shot diminishes humanity, with every hit shredding any semblance of emotion — dreams of going home and letting someone go home, paying the debt to his country and seeking the country to pay its debt, among many other reasons.

Instead of fear, a couple of citizens — most from the frontlines — sneered at the guns pointed at them. “The position of your guns says a lot about you, state lapdogs!” Isabel, the one at the center, shouted. She then dropped a command, “Guns up the sky!” The citizens followed suit and thus she added, “Fire!”

The military police finally realized what was up — the citizens were not, in any way, holding real guns. It was smoke grenades to deprive them of vision, to give the flying guerillas their needed leverage. Isabel’s command for citizens to chant deprived them of the ability to hear the metal strings and so within a minute, three units of military police were put down.

If one were to look from afar, it could be deemed how the death of an endearing comrade turns people into a bloody rage, how the lack of choice but to collectively retaliate diminishes the upper hand of those in power.

Eventually, the citizens did not chant just Petra’s name. They chanted for Gunther Schultz, for Eld Jinn, for Oluo Bozado, for Petra’s father, and among all the mentioned, your heart screamed at them screaming justice for Furlan Church.

“Furlan was confirmed to be killed due to the prophecy,” Erwin muttered to himself as both of you fled. “So my gamble to take you with me upon his death was the right call...”

“I don’t want to be called Anna anymore.”

“But that would keep your identity from the surface safe. Are you sure?”

“I know that’s what you’re trying to erase in this mission, Commander. To blur the distinction between civilians and guerillas would leverage our forces. To see the citizens comply with the plan right now shows how successful you are in it.”

“I’m not the one in success; the citizens brought it upon themselves. No one claims it but them. That’s the same reason why we must avoid bloodshed. None of our attacks must hurt the people below, and if there is someone to kill, it must be those who tormented Petra’s squad. Call for the—” Erwin was cut off when a series of gunshots were heard, and citizens’ chants were replaced by screams.

“They’re shooting the citizens!” Miche exclaimed. “They’re using them as pawns to distract us from attacking them!”

Erwin deduced the situation before speaking, “With a place this smokey, the military can easily claim we’re the ones behind the shooting,” Despite the horrifying realization, Erwin let out a grim smile — a deranged one, perhaps, one seething in anger. Then he dropped a command for everyone to hear. “Soldiers, kill every military police with guns at sight!”

“But Commander!” You shouted with heart drumming so loud at the thought of Isabel dying. “The citizens need help in evacuating!”

“No! We don’t have enough forces as it is. Continue charging at the enemy!”

“Erwin!”

“The MPs in the area are not too much right now and their desperation to shoot the unarmed is brought by their awareness that once the smoke subsides, all their units would be eliminated! They want to distract us! If we decrease our forces now and fail to eliminate them before the smoke's gone, then all of the people here would be doomed! Don’t go by their trap!”

“Commander, are you saying we let the citizens be the pawn?” Nanaba asked.

“No, the citizens here knew this could happen, and so their formation is arranged from those who are most willing to die to those who want to evacuate once the situation gets dire. Those who are to evacuate have trucks waiting for them at the back, all of which came from different farms. Now as we speak, people on the frontlines are helping the rest escape before bullet reaches them — they are all seizing their time left before the bullet reaches them.”

Isabel is willing to die.

Isabel very much knew she could die, and yet…

You pointed your gun below the silhouette of a soldier. Just when you were about to pull the trigger, something daunted you and your hands shook.

You're about to kill a military man — a being who most likely has a family waiting for him. But when he unhesitantly pulled his own trigger at the citizens, your shaking were motivated from anger.

"H-hah—"

Erwin called your name, "You don't have to kill them if you don't want to."

Isabel is willing to die.

"Hah, huh—" your breath ragged, shaking intensified, and the hah's soon became a scream as the statement repeated inside your mind: every bullet he shoots raises Isabel's chance of death. Isabel is willing to die. Isabel very much knew she could die. Isabel, Isabel, Isabel, Isabel.

The fury awakened something in you, it was the voice you fear the most:

FLOWER HANGING AT THE EDGE OF THE PRECIPICE, WITH AN UNDESERVING FATE SUBJECTED BY THE WORLD,

YOU HAVE TO UNLEASH THE LACK OF MERCY INSIDE YOU, TOO. THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU'D BE ABLE TO LIVE.

YOU HAVE TO UNLEASH THE LACK OF MERCY INSIDE YOU, TOO.

UNLEASH IT.

UNLEASH IT.

But now you listened as it talked, and for the first time in your life, you were not scared to do so.

You propelled a scream then pulled the trigger just before he could. It pierced his head. You pulled it again to ensure his death, crying. You flashed your gear towards another position to do more, to kill more.

You shouted alongside the bangs of your gun, all in tormenting urgency to save your friend.

Not long after, the shooting ended; the flares subsided. It's done, and the daunting casualties were flashed to everyone.

.Bloodshed. It was utter bloodshed.

"Clear! The next MP units are running 5 kilometers away from here!" A squad leader three roofs away from you reported from her telescope.

"Twenty casualties from the citizens! Ten injured, ten dead! Area all clear, the trucks are on the way to the Underground!" A squad leader down below had reported from the transceiver. 

"State of the military forces below, report," Miche said.

"All clear. None injured, all dead."

The Commander pressed the transceiver, "The Stohess operation is successful. All except the Command Unit and Squad Miche, discharge!"

"Yes, Sir!" Everyone said in unison.

The Squad Miche is just behind so no one uses the transceiver anymore. "The new squad unit is on standby at Stohess funeral home. The truck to bring them home is on alert, too."

"We would be able to bring them home," Erwin concurred. 

"Petra will be brought home."

Upon reaching the place, it came to you that the new squad unit in question is led by someone close to your heart.

"Levi!" With a blurry mind, you quickly ran towards him. Levi just finished tying two MP soldiers up; he turned in surprise upon hearing your voice.

He's alive. Levi's alive.

You jumped at him with a hug.

Levi's not the type to return that under normal circumstances. So now, he did it so tightly with a weak sigh of relief.

"Isabel is in the frontline," you wept, muffled in his cravat. "Why did you let her? What the hell is she thinking?"

"I made sure she was alive before flying here." He withdrew from the hug, and instead leveled his face the same as yours, "And she has the same question: why didn't she tell us she was Anna? Why didn't she tell us she joined the rebels?" And to end, he gave a hard flick on your forehead, "What the hell are you thinking?"

You averted your eyes away in guilt, but Levi knew better; he forced you to look at him while glaring.

"I'm sorry."

He called your name tiredly this time, contrary to the stern tone prior. "I'm not asking for apologies."

"I'm sorry Furlan died because of me. Whatever the confrontation, I was part of the reason why he died, because I used to be Anna, and they were finding me for the prophecy."

"No," he quickly interrupted. "It’s not your—"

"Because you're not her, I told you. You're the name you go by right now." Erwin cut in. "Whatever they planned on that dead child was out of your control, therefore not your fault. Also, the caught soldiers are saying something right now. Go back to the present."

"The rats keep on saying that Petra betrayed the movement. They took it back after I rearranged their faces." Levi deadpanned.

You walked to them as Miche pointed a gun at their heads, "They were sticking their noses too much! They were trying to seize information even lowly soldiers don't have the privilege of knowing!"

"Then Levi clasped on his collar, a pin of Interior Military Police clasped on it. "Then tell us. You're not a lowly soldier yourself. Tell us what you know."

"I'll talk, I'll talk!" In utter fear of what Levi could further ruin in his shape, he shakily responded, "The prophecy of Eldia's prosperity is never a bluff—"

Levi cut them off with a punch, "Seems like you still want more, huh? Might as well tell me how much of your teeth you want to lose."

"Levi, let him speak."

"I'm not here to mess around some fucking prophecy, Erwin. I did not involve myself, let alone Isabel, in this type of shit."

"But I'm telling the truth! Saying this to you will get my head opened by Commander Kenny!"

Levi stopped in his tracks upon hearing the name of his uncle. 

Sensing it, the soldier continued, "There was a world that used to be ruled by the royal family and that world was filled with giant monsters. Those monsters came from a tree, a tree blessed to the royal family. The giant monsters were used to kill every being that's not from the Eldian race—"

"You're speaking shit that's already been said by the storybooks," Levi hissed. "Don't waste our time."

"If the tree was from another world, what relevance does it have to today's prophecy? Are you telling me the tree is nothing but a conspiracy?"

"No, that's why let me finish!" The soldier countered. "Due to the sins Eldians incurred from that world, we weren't supposed to exist anymore. But someone saved us, someone had our existence persist, and that's why we're here! The goal of the prophecy is to relieve the savior and utilize their power for the prosperity of the entire humankind in this world!"

"And how do you know if it's true?"

"The royal family has visions of it."

"And you believed them?"

"Nations do! Marley believes them, Hizuru believes them, everyone does! How can a measly soldier like me decide what to believe with what's not when they do?"

Levi then grabbed a paper from his pocket and shoved it, "Then what does the saying in Furlan's cadaver mean? Alas, your men had done a fruitful job. The first horseman of the apocalypse has come in the form of a devil from the tree. How did Furlan become a signifier of war?" This time, Levi's face had changed. It was desperate, frustrated, seething in pain. "Just why—why, out of all people, why did someone like him get caught up in this mess?"

The soldier's face changed. It was a fear much greater than Levi. His face changed; even at the expanse of his teeth nor his face, he would not speak. He shuddered, tears flowed down without a word, and his eyes were so wide you'd think they could fall out.

"You won't answer, huh?"

Everyone was caught off guard when the soldier started banging his head at the wall behind him until it cracked. Even when blood poured down he didn't stop.

Miche grabbed him away before the final blow, even Levi was too shocked to speak. It proved that he wasn't lying. There was something in the prophecy and the royal family would rather sacrifice the whole populace instead of revealing it."

"Our job here is done. Apply first aid on that soldier and bring him in the truck."

"First aid?" Levi grimaced at Erwin, "You're letting him live?"

He looked at the now unconscious police before adding, "He was a citizen before a soldier and the guerillas are not terrorists. We're tending to his wounds and taking him in as a prisoner of war. Besides, with all the information he's leaked, he really has no other fate but an open head." As the other soldiers followed, Erwin looked at you, "The remains are already acquired and resting at the truck. We'll be bringing Petra home. Don't make her wait too long."

“Did you see this coming?”

“See what? The death of our comrades?”

“No. You know that Petra’s death would cause an uproar. It was all too fast and yet you were able to handle everything. And we succeeded. Did you see that coming?”

As the truck moved, a look of lament resonated on Erwin's face. He called your name weakly, "I became the Commander for a reason. This might be the worst encounter we had so far but certainly not a new thing within our ranks."

"Did Petra…" you gulped, "Did Petra really lead a tormenting life?"

"No, she said giving you the carrots was one of the happiest choices she made in her life." Levi mindlessly answered, not even turning at you. "After all, it was you who brought her to us."

"Petra didn't stop bugging me with her gratitude since I brought you here, too.”

And thus as if it was your long-awaited one, you wept hard. You didn't have the time to do so when you first got the news. You didn't have the time to do so when people were chanting for her justice. You couldn't even go to the other truck to look at it, even upon your arrival at the Underground district. 

When you came across the injured Isabel, your cries went harder. She cried with you alongside curses for the things you didn't say, but it didn't feel as heavy as earlier anymore. You might never be the same again but there are still people left.

There are still people left.

The population in the underground had tripled. Plenty of recalibration must be done and lots of newly built units to be trained. Due to Levi's uncanny prowess during the encounter and the fact that he was the one to put down half of the soldiers in Stohess, it was the right choice to make him a squad leader. In exchange, he bargained for Isabel as his second-in-command (for no apparent reason; it's just to ensure her welfare while recovering from the bullet wound).

"When the MPs started shooting at us without any reluctance, we realized there really was nothing to be done with our lands if we relied on them." A new kid named Armin from Levi's squad said.

"Besides, Petra was kind to us. It's just not fair." Eren concurred. He was reportedly a new advocate from the freshman level who, despite months of experience, had already been leading his entire college.

"Marco was a kind man. He didn't deserve to die the way he did earlier," another one chipped in.

"The bloody confrontation proved our narrowest target from here on — the Police Commander Kenny Ackerman, who was reported to be one of the founding instigators of the prophecy alongside Anna's father—" you grimaced at the mention of your former name, "and the royal family. As the line between civilians and rebels blurred, the policy of gaining aliases will not be needed anymore. Unless someone disagrees…?" Everyone shook their heads, hence Miche continued. "After the recalibration, units will be distributed to different provinces to further enlarge our bases. Does anyone have any questions before we adjourn the debriefing?"

A small blonde girl with long bangs hanging to her nose raised her hand, "H-how about the prophecy of the Reiss? Is it true?"

The people in the Command Unit — with Levi and Isabel included — exchanged glances. 

"We're not to rely on something based on hearsay. Unless we get concrete proof, the movement will deem it as conspiracy and bluff." Erwin answered.

"B-but—"

"If you don't have any questions concerning the new delegation of tasks, then let's adjourn the meeting for everyone to recuperate."

Without further ado, everyone rushed away from the hall tiredly. The small blonde girl followed suit, defeated. Just before you could ponder what she had to say, Erwin called you over to talk.

"Isabel reported something you should've said to me months ago, way before your training." He started, and thus you looked away in guilt. “They were able to find Anna not by the statement released by the guerillas but through Furlan himself." 

“That’s exactly why we have to investigate. This is not a black-and-white matter. If Furlan was with them, fully aware of that mission, how come he’s the only one who got killed?”

"Then what if it turned out not that complicated? You know better than spurring something without any basis.”

“But what if it isn’t baseless?” you took out the piece of paper you had gotten from Levi. “This is written in Furlan’s cadaver. No one understood it. No country goes by that language. But I did, Erwin. I did.”

There, Erwin’s grim was replaced with perplexity. “How?”

“This is how the voices inside me speak.”

What do you want to imply?”

“That I might be the devil they’re finding for. That Furlan died because of me. It spoke about the devil born by that tree! We saw that tree before, hadn’t we? Back in Mitras, what have you seen in that tree?"

"You remembered…?"

"Have you seen that I’m a monster, too? Is that why you were so horrified when we came across it back in childhood?”

“You are not a monster,” he scowled as if that was the main concern, “and no, I only saw what that tree could offer.”

“The conquest horseman inside me, what if it just altered my memory of killing Furlan as well? What if, all this time—”

“Stop.” This time, Erwin is no longer interested in unfolding further possibilities. You’re about to lose yourself again. “You must be aware that if the horseman entails conquest, the devil who killed Furlan might’ve gotten on you too and taken over your mind. If things would go like this then we must assume the royal family isn’t our only enemy. Let's come up with a recalibration concerning this possibility."

“W-what are we supposed to do?"

“We have to seek those who saw the tree as well. Those who saw it aside from us.”

prev | next

#erwin smith fanfiction #erwin smith x you #erwin smith x y/n #erwin smith x reader #erwin smith #erwin smith modern au #erwin x reader modern au #attack on titan erwin #shingeki no kyojin #aot fanfiction #erwin smith imagine #erwin x reader angst #attack on titan #attack on titan erwin smith #aot erwin x you #aot erwin x reader #aot erwin #aot x reader #aot x you #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x female reader #erwin smith imagines #erwin x you #aot erwin smith #erwin x reader #commander erwin smith #erwin smith angst #attack on titan fanfiction #commander erwin #shingeki no kyojin erwin smith

[lukewarmkraftsingle]

hi can you elaborate on divorced au mp100. i saw your video and i just went fucking nuts sitting in bed. in my brain. i need to know is it /j or /srs i need to know. im really obsessed. i think it would be really good

[the post. for context]

8:44 AM

thanks for the question! i woke up the morning of January 1st, this lovely, beautiful morning, with some animal crossing song stuck in my head. i know it's from new leaf because it has the theme for that game in it, but i cannot for the life of me remember what track it was. it can't be any of the new year's ones, i know how the new year's ones sound. i have an excellent memory for music and not much else, you see. the song is in very vivid detail in my mind, but i just cannot put the face to the name. or whatever. i'm listening to the whole ost right now to see which one it is. but after my eyes were open and whatever, i opened my phone to see what time it was, about 8 am, which is fine. i didn't stay up until midnight last night anyway. i fell asleep much earlier, passed out sideways on my bed, until the fireworks they do nearby every year kicked up right at midnight and woke me up. but i did get back to sleep. had weird dreams.

back to this morning, then. after checking my messages and all, i opted to look at my tumblr, because why not, sure, i have been known to do that sometimes. i scroll through any new posts, then i see something in my inbox, i open this message, read it quickly, still only half awake, immediately started cackling. there is no better way to describe the sound i made.

the animal crossing ost is on the hourly music now. i know it's not any of that either. but i like the hourly music. i'll let some of em play out. whatever.

but this message intrigues me. i thought about it while i got out of bed and took a shower. the animal crossing song was still trucking along at this point. i cleared out my shower drain the other day, so it was nice and in full functioning order to start off the year. lovely. but i also washed my shower curtains and completely forgot to put them back, but it was too late by the time i realized that i needed to do that. i was already determined to go through with the shower. maybe this is some kind of metaphor. for the new year i mean. mayhaps i will have the strength to take on whatever sort of stress that the year will throw at me, as the shower drain did, but it will be done with a sort of messy transparency, as the shower curtain-less experience offered. maybe this is the only way we can properly take on our greatest challenges. insert reigen quote. whatever. the floor is dry now, it's fine.

anyway. i think i can offer you the initial discussion that led to me making that video. much like a weed-adjacent post i made a while back, this is a discussion between me and The wife. i will offer brief commentary and context as needed below each image. or as not needed. none of this commentary has been needed. i will keep up the trend.

i take a lot of screenshots when i'm going out and about on the internet. just of little things that i find entertaining. or intriguing. i find it to be a much more reliable method than just liking the post or putting it in twitter bookmarks or whatever. much less likely to get deleted, or buried, or whatever. said reigen folder does not really exist. i do have a collection of snippets of posts like that, but there is no dedicated folder. it's with all the other mob psycho ones. there are currently 150 screenshots in that folder. do with that information what you will. i may be interested in posting those reigen ones, though. i'll think about it.

oh. it's on the rainy versions now. i think i'll just skip over those ones. about the same, just less instruments. same for the snow ones. this playlist is thorough.

this is one of the major issues with the divorced au: is it a mischaracterization of reigen? there are concerns that no woman would ever want to be within twenty feet of him. gf has expressed such sentiments previously, and i am partially inclined to agree. but i cannot say much, as anyone can see my post history on here. and you can see my reigen profile picture in these messages. while my picture was not that exact reigen image in november of 2022, it was still a reigen image. i will provide below for full immersive experience.

i am not taking questions at this time. anyway. back to the important discussion.

this is the one part of the au that i provided myself at that time that is not included in the actual post, and the main catalyst of the divorce, perhaps. i have seen other proposals in the tags, yes, but i am refraining from bringing those up. this is the initial discussion, yes? i'm keeping it disconnected from anything outside of this initial conversation.

all of the creation of the picture in the video was done in paint, with it only being moved to photoshop later so i could better flip the image. this is relevant later. i feel the need to specify, i ultimately did not end up tracing a photo. much too difficult to do in paint, and it wouldn't provide a very good look for what i was going for anyway. i did, however, heavily reference another better stock photo i found. surely said photo is not very difficult to find, which is good, because i do not have it on hand either. sad!

and here is the reason why the drawing was turned into a video. for whatever reason, i was possessed to flip the small drawing of mob (psycho 100), and i discovered that it was, perhaps, the greatest activity i could have possibly chosen to partake in. it was mesmerizing. this message was sent after the video was made, but i feel as though it is much more clear than the message i sent before making the video, which was simply a crazed declaration of it "flip[ping] so good," followed by a complaint about the lack of a flip shortcut in paint. if anyone knows of a "flip selection" shortcut in paint, please let me know. i could not find one, even though i searched very carefully for one.

..

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Oh

ok

the animal crossing song was not the new year's one. it was the fireworks festival music. from new leaf.

listen to it. it's one of my favorites. i can't believe i forgot when it plays. very sorry! and to all of my one-earbud user friends out there, use both for this one. as you should for all animal crossing music. or turn your sound onto mono i don't know.

anyway. i suppose i should offer a brief summary of where we've gotten: reigen arataka, greatest psychic of the 21st century, had a wife at some point, and he no longer has a wife, due to a divorce, presumed at least a bit messy. questionably canon. it could certainly be inserted into canon fine enough. he is gay.

let's take some questions from the audience, then!

there are a couple of tags along these lines, i believe, but this provides a degree of severity to any sorts of divorce theorizing. it's a bit of a spectrum in my mind. i like the percentages. really meshes well with the rest of the series. 100% divorced. y'know?

not me creating lore for this. i think this one offers an interesting perspective on all of it. i suppose that my depiction does offer a sort of swapping of their usual dynamic. when i first saw these tags, it brought to mind an alternate approach to the usual depictions of the standard "age swap" au, in which i feel, in my heart, pushing 30 mob is at least 16% divorced. the dynamic in the video, when taken at face value i think, would be more descriptive of overly enthusiastic younger reigen and some degree of "divorced in vibes" mob. surely most are familiar with such au shenanigans, and surely you are too, dearest anonymous person, if you have read this far. you seem to have some interest in alternatives to canon. if not, it is certainly not hard to come across. i have no other constructive comments on age swapping. someone else go and do that. i don't know.

but i suppose i should be speaking with slightly more relevance. i do have some purpose in drawing them in this manner. i see the show as a bit more lighthearted, generally. this is absolutely not to downplay the themes it tackles. but the average episode is generally more playful. and with reigen often being the cause of that. uh. m. i feel like i was going somewhere with this. but uhh. such shenanigans in the drawing are for the purpose of exaggerating the uh. the abnormality. yeah. sure. definitely did it with Grand Purpose and not just because i thought the mob looked funny.

and now we come to some constructive criticism! i love receiving constructive criticism.

uh. yes. but this is divorced au. anything is possible. the fabric of reality is tearing apart as we speak.

and now, the question we've all been waiting for: who was he married to? there are certainly some possibilities. as i currently have none, i am turning to my notes again.

i believe this tag presents an interesting possibility. this is not a marriage of romance. i was not actually familiar with the term "lavender wedding," but i am certainly familiar with the concept. two people going into a heterosexual marriage to conceal their true attractions, yes? this does go against my suggestion that the divorce is caused because reigen is gay, but it does resolve the constructive criticism presented above. i find this concept incredibly entertaining the more i think about it, however. imagine being so desperate to try to conform to societal norms that you marry Reigen Arataka. imagine coming to find the concept of having to pretend to be in love with reigen so aggressively unappealing that you are willing to forgo the social acceptance you've gained for yourself and divorce him, which depending on what kinda situation you're in, that's no good either. and after all the work you've had to put in to pull this off. imagine. incredible. does he fight for it? does he go deeper into the act?? do you start getting convinced that he was straight and in love with you the entire time?? actually maybe not that far. whatever. entertaining concept. love that.

and now we get into something a little bit funky. !!!!!!!!!!! and this section is a tad bit spoilery if you haven't read the reigen manga yet this is your first and final warning !!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!! and also go read it it's not that long and. i think you should !!!!!!!

i'm not sure how that timeline would work. they knew each other before the manga? imagine the drama though. a whole new way to read the spinoff. reigen's ex-husband (wife???????) comes across his goofy little psychic business, and reigen immediately starts trying to one-up him with spiritual level bs. and both fake psychics, they're soulmates <3 until they got divorced. whatever.

OK I'M DONE WITH MINOR SPOILERS YOU CAN COME BACK NOW

and finally, i uh

uhh. um. well. i sure hope not.

but i suppose as the arbiter of mp100 divorced au, i should offer my own thoughts on who his ex-wife is. uh. i don't particularly have any. it could be literally anyone. maybe they don't even need to be named. but i suppose if someone really needs to be his ex-wife, it's whoever you think is funniest, dearest anonymous asker person. whoever you feel is his ex-wife in your heart. i am only here to present a handful of possibilities. the truth that you seek lies within you. as long as his ex-wife isn't me. god i hope it's not me.

i guess i could consult gf about this hold on

.

.

.

HHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i can't do this

you don't have to listen to them. ok. you don't. it's not true.

.

anyway. just a few things to tie this up nicely at the end.

much appreciation to everyone who put keysmashes in the tags. i am honored. and everyone else too! i like reading my notes. fun times. you're all cool. i tried to keep the tags i put here focused on the task at hand, but every tag has been thoroughly appreciated, do not worry.

i am also honored to present the award for Tag That Made Me Absolutely Lose It When I Read It to this one:

thank you for being significantly funnier than i could ever dream of being.

and finally, to send all of you off, one last thing tossed together and heavily inspired by a couple of the tags, which i am upset that i did not think of myself:

is this all /j? is this /srs? i want to say it's /j, but i've put too much time into this now. very sorry dearest anonymous person. you have sent me into a sort of crisis. i suppose i put too much effort into everything that should remain as 5 minutes max /j Content. well.

hope that answers your question!

4:20 PM

#mp100 divorced au #proud to be the second post on the tag #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #sincerest apologies for this one #my stuff #terribly sorry posted left didn't even add a keep reading thing on it this thing is very long #a protein bar is my meal. main course. it isn't very good

[applesfallingfromblondehair]

Ahhhh I loved this chapter, so much. But it's killed me. The Waughy part was gorgeous and made me a bit sad. I feel glad Ross finally stood up to Matty and challenged him on a lot of things, but also sad at his startling admission that he himself has been blinkered. I feel Ross hasn't always been true to himself, in a way, doing exactly what Matty has been doing to himself: avoiding it all. Now he's admitting it to himself as much as Matty. I loved all of his big moments in this chapter, I love the sheer humanity of him.

As always, your writing is fucking perfection. You can really feel how much goes into this and you are a blessed joy.

Also, that playlist is an utterly delight and I can't listen to Unknown in the same way now. I was the anon earlier and so excited you're getting to see AHB sing it, what an absolute treat. We're so lucky.

The Waughy bit was always meant to be bittersweet — somehow he's moved on, but has he really?

Ross has definitely been very avoidant and sometimes that's what you do when you love too hard and for what you think are the right reasons. It's debatably a bit toxic but they are also best friends. They have an unbreakable bond that is only made stronger by these *feelings*, and it's hard to let go even if the red flags are huge and multiple. If there were scarlet flags they washed down in the mind of me, and all that.

Thanks for saying that about my writing. I do put my everything into it, and I'm extremely happy it shows.

The playlist was a joy to craft, and it isn't even my best work. Two more coming up in the next couple of installments 😉

(long live AHB, I am PUMPED for Sunday, I love him to bits ❤️)

#answered #writing #chapter 23 #matty and ross

[hyuckmov]

hiii moon anon here i have a lot to say but first off: i've been analyzing the title song settle down and i've been listening to it over and over again and is the story gonna parallel the lyrics itself?? "and i don't seem to be having any effect now" like thats… oooh the angst is gonna be delicious. i hope you take this as a compliment when i say this but the whole fic takes me BACK to 2013-2015 YOU KNOW THAT ERA HAHAHA the tropes, the ambiance, the CHARACTERS!! side question: is mark or jisung gonna play bigger roles? or did they just act as plot devices for reader and haechans development. would not mind either way but given the concept of the story i can totally imagine reader coming back and just wreaking havoc on the band. sorry i love mess lol. maybe i'm delusional or maybe its the fact that it's haechan but it makes me more understanding of the character?? i trust you when you say that there's more to rockstar hc than meets the eye, and especially from his perspective it's pretty realistic that he has his guard up when it comes to really connecting with people, and we see his walls slowly crumbling down by the end too. and even in the earlier parts of the story i didn't expect him to have his sweet moments?? i honestly expected him to be worse but god him calling her PRINCESS has me on my knees i will defend reader's choices with my life because i'd do the same, i'd probably still go to the concert by the end she's so much stronger than me helppp (tho DISCLAIMER i would not be doing this for just any man its bc its haechan why i am easily swayed by the little things,,, just like reader), but i liked how she decided to take a step back this time, especially when at that point haechan is basically offering her what she has always wanted, but knowing his past actions it won't be truly easy to hang onto every word said. this is the culmination of every mixed signals and rejection that haechan gave her, and the build up to it is veryyy well done. also im still reeling from reading the fic i felt sooo many emotions and dk how to fully articulate it yet,, maybe i'll come back when i do. i even made a playlist of my own w songs that reminded me of the fic to help me move on (at least until pt 2 gets posted, cant wait tho!!)

MOON ANON.... when i say my jaw dropped.... my heart rate actually spiked i can't believe you wrote such a detailed review and theorized this makes me so happy especially since you basically inspired me with this idea !!!! giving you a huge hug rn 🫂🤍 

omg ngl this fic encouraging people to listen to settle down makes me so happy because it's one of my favorite songs 😭 it makes me feel so honoured to know that you are analysing the lyrics and anticipating the plot like that really means so much to me !!! i definitely picked it because it had themes i wanted to explore throughout the song...but the lines kind of contain both hyucks and readers pov hehe so i'm excited to explore that in part 2

i take that as a DEFINITE COMPLIMENT i was so invested in that era it was so formative for me... hence a lot of the song choice in my playlist too... i don't know if i genuinely nailed the idea of rockstar in rockstar haechan (because truly...what is a rockstar...) but i did want to give it that 2013 band on tumblr vibe lmfao so i'm so glad you brought that up !!!!

AAAA the band still definitely continues to play a role... they have stuff to work out but i've thought about their characters a lot and i definitely want to show more of their opinions on haechan and reader (it wouldn't be a rockstar au without that). someone else i want to add in is jaemin because ngl reader needs someone purely on her side

i hope i'm not promising too much with haechan HAHA i'm not someone who likes to give too much backstory to characters so i'm just putting it out there: i'm not going to explain that he's this way becaue he was cheated on before or he had family problems etc. i just want it to be genuine layers of his character and personality that's put to the test (love making it hard for myself LOL)

i'm so relieved to know you still managed to feel for his character and appreciate the softer sides of him and a bit of his struggle... i was worried i promised a super terrible character with the preview and people would be disappointed he ended up being so gentle with reader 😅

and her standing him up at the end!!! i'm glad you thought it was justified but at the same time recognise she probably was going to...it really could go both ways and idk if i'm still going through with my original plot arc !!! we will see :)

this was already so articulate omg once i appreciate it sooo so so so much that you shared such a detailed review with me, it literally blows my mind and i will reread your ask again and again !!!! omg and if u want please share your playlist with me too!!! i want to see what songs there are that give him vibes ~~

thank you sm again...you are too nice to me ily!!!!

#moon anon #asks #fic: rockstar haechan #THIS IS STILL INSANE TO MEEE

[wysteriaz-blog]

Two Worlds Collided & They Could Never Tear Us Apart

Chapter 7: Mount Natagumo Part 2

The fight on Mount Natagumo continues! Just when it looks like it's the end for you all, two things—or rather people—unexpected make an appearance and save the day!

Or read the series on Ao3 / Wattpad!

▪︎☆°○°☆ Playlist ☆°○°☆▪︎

After defeating the giant monster and taking a moment to breathe, making sure Inosuke was well enough to keep traveling, you all continued to walk further in the forest. You come across a somewhat shallow river and walk along it for a few seconds before you hear the booming sound of thunder, gaining everyone's attention. Your eyes drift upwards expecting to see dark clouds or a hint of rain but the sky was clear.

Tanjiro pauses in his steps. "What was that sound? Did lightning just strike?"

"How should I know?" Inosuke replies, walking closer to the water.

"Well, I'm not smelling any thunderclouds... but that odor got stronger and is messing with my senses again," he says, sniffing lightly and frowning.

He picked up that strange scent again, it was really bothering him and he wanted to find out where exactly it was coming from. He turns to Inosuke, who's getting ready to cross the river by using some boulders that were sticking out of the water.

"Wait, Inosuke!" Tanjiro calls out.

Inosuke stops mid-step, floundering for a moment as he catches his balance with one foot on a rock and the other on the embankment. You snicker at the sight because he's almost doing the splits and has his arms held out funnily.

"What..?!"

"I think we should take this path instead," Tanjiro suggests, pointing in another direction.

"I don't care! Do whatever you want!"

"So.. are you headed back down, then?"

Inosuke pushes backwards and steps fully onto the embankment again, hands on his hips as he turns to Tanjiro. "Back down?"

"Down the mountain..."

"Why would I do that? Just beat it already," he huffs, shooing Tanjiro away.

"Then where are you going? What about all your wounds? I can't just leave you alone..."

"What are you talking about? Don't worry about it, I'm not hurt at all!"

Tanjiro's face screws up. "What? You've got to be kidding, anyone from a mile away could see how bloodied you are—even with the bandages!"

"Quit worrying 'bout me! It takes more than a few measly cuts to take me down!"

"You've lost quite a lot of blood..."

"I'm fine!"

"I think maybe you should leave and take Y/n-san with you, it'll be much safer for you both."

"Quit trying to get me to leave!"

As they continue going back and forth, you wander closer to the water and step onto the boulder Inosuke was previously at. You hop onto another one, slowly going from one to another. There's joy in doing something so simple as leaping from rocks, that you can't help the dumb little grin that appears on your face, as your brain helpfully supplies: 'Hop hop hop!'

You giggle to yourself, feeling a little silly but you don't care, you could honestly use a break from all the anxiety and seriousness.

You aren't too far out, about half way in the middle when you sense something and look up. Your eyes widen when you spot a pale girl—who looked like the boy earlier that floated in the air—and she stares back at you with something akin to curiosity but quickly turns into a frown. Tanjiro and Inosuke take notice of you not being nearby and turn, tensing up as they spot the demon girl as well. Tanjiro's eyes widened. The scent hanging over the mountain blocked him from picking up that a demon was here!

"RRRRAGH! Listen up, you damn demon, I'm gonna tear you to shreds!" Inosuke growls threateningly.

The girl glares, eyes sweeping over everyone before spinning on her heel and running off. "Now, father!"

"Who are you calling father?!" he yells, getting ready to chase after her by hopping onto the same rocks you were on.

Suddenly a big shadow looms overhead and your gaze snaps up to see a giant monster hurtling straight towards you.

"Y/n!!!"

Your body freezes and all you can do is watch as the hulking beast comes down, smashing the ground in front of you, missing you by just a few inches. You're sent flying back from the shockwaves of the attack but Inosuke quickly crosses the river and catches you. He manages to land upright with you in his hold but you're a bit disoriented from spinning in the air so quickly and slip from his hands. Tanjiro is by your side in an instant and helps you up, guiding you to get right behind him. You hold on to the back of his coat, legs feeling like jelly as you try to process what just happened.

"Don't you come near my family!! Stay away from them!" the demon roars.

It punches the boulder you were on and it crumbles into a bunch of pieces. You feel fear slowly start to choke you, its cold claws digging into your chest as it tries to steal your breath away. This monster was bigger than the last one! Besides the enormous size of the thing, it looked normal except for the fact it also had a damn spider's head!! Your fight or flight response is absolutely out of control. Part of you wants to squish the thing like the creepy, disgusting half-bug that it was—completely ignoring the fact it would be impossible—and the other part wants to run away and never look back. Which is the smarter option but your body just won't move.

The demon gets ready to attack again and you let go of Tanjiro and watch as he and Inosuke face it head on. You've seen them battle a monster before but this was bigger and seemed much stronger. You can only hope that they'll defeat this one too. Tanjiro leaps in the air with his blade held over his head, going into a spin before he comes down and tries to slice through its raised arm. His blade only gets halfway through and the demon swings its other arm around to punch him but Inosuke blocks the attack with his serrated blades.

"Its body.. is so.. tough!" Inosuke grits out, as they struggle to cut through its flesh.

It roars and flings them away, going after Tanjiro who lands gracefully on a rock. Inosuke barrels towards the monster thinking it was distracted but it turns around and smashes its fist straight into his chest. He's sent flying back and falls completely in the water. He lays there for a few seconds before bursting up and gurgling from the water in his mouth, leaning over to cough it out.

'Damn it.. all that force with just a single swipe of its arm! I can't beat him in my condition, all this blood loss is making me dizzy...'

Before he can think any more the giant spider demon comes charging at him. Inosuke spins on his heel and starts running but the water is slowing him down. Tanjiro runs along the water's edge and you follow at a safe distance, keeping your eyes on your friends. Your heart feels like it's going to burst as the giant monster gets closer to Inosuke.

"Water Breathing: Second Form—Improved Lateral Water Wheel!"

Tanjiro slices a tree in front of him, causing it to topple over and head straight for the river where Inosuke and the demon are. Inosuke is quick to spot the falling trunk and speeds up as much as he can in order to avoid being crushed by it, the demon wasn't paying attention though and is pushed down into the water. It thrashes around and Tanjiro takes this opportunity to use the final and most powerful form of Water Breathing. He jumps into the water, running towards the demon being held under water by the big tree trunk, leaping at the last second with his blade held high and ready to strike. Right before he is able to attack the demon bursts up from under the trunk and holds it up, swinging it around and smacking Tanjiro midair. The force sends him flying up high through the air and away from the rest of you.

"Kentaro!!"

"Don't die! You guys have to hold on until I make it back," Tanjiro calls out.

You gasp as you watch Tanjiro disappear over the trees before snapping your head back towards Inosuke, who's standing right in front of the giant monster. He kicks water in its face and it roars angrily, wiping it away. Inosuke quickly scrabbles back onto land and you follow him as he darts behind some trees to hide while the demon shakes the remaining water off. He pants, trying to catch his breath and keep quiet but his previous wounds have reopened and are bleeding a lot, leading the demon right to him. It snarls ferociously as it figures out where he's hiding and he freezes up.

'Not.. good..!'

You're dumb—so, so incredibly dumb—but you refuse to let that thing kill your friend!

You jump out of a nearby bush and yell at the monster while waving your arms around, gaining its attention and Inosuke's eyes nearly bulge out of his mask when he sees you. Were you trying to get killed?! The demon growls as it lazily makes its way towards you. You hear the pounding pulse of your heart as you stare at the giant beast, your body shaking as you let it get closer. It speeds up and that's when you turn tail and flee, going as fast as you possibly can. You have to try to lead that thing away from Inosuke and then hopefully lose it and hide. You will your lungs to fill with more air and pump your legs harder as the monster chases after you. Inosuke chokes on his spit trying to yell at you.

What in the hell were you thinking?!

He pushes himself from the tree, staggering slightly as he runs after you and the demon. There's no way in hell he was going to hide away like a little woodland creature, while you take on the demon—how pathetic! He may have lost a lot of blood but he isn't down yet—he can still fight! He picks up the pace and yells wildly as he leaps at the demon, who has its arm raised as it tries reaching for you. Inosuke swings his blade forward and it lands in its arm but it doesn't cut through, so he hits the back of his blade with the other one and uses the force of the hits to try to cut deeper. It works as the demon cries out with its arm falling off and turns to him.

"Alright, I got you now!" Inosuke grunts, kicking the arm away from him. "So, it was as simple as that. If you can't cut something with a sword, all you gotta do is pound on it with another sword! And just my luck, I have the tools for the job! HAHAHAHAAAA!!"

It stares at him before running off and you and Inosuke are taken aback. He sprints after it and you follow behind, struggling to keep up since you used up almost all your energy from running before.

"Are you running away from me?! Hey! Come back here, damn it!"

Inosuke is losing speed and stumbles every now and then, his wounds hindering him and loses sight of the demon. He growls in frustration, stopping in his tracks and uses his spatial awareness again to find the demon. His head shoots up, finding it in a tree.

"There you are! You dung-brained buffoon! Get down here, bastard!"

The demon appears to be trembling but not for the reason Inosuke thinks, as its body starts changing, shedding its skin and it gets bigger. It leaps down, shaking the ground and roars in his face and Inosuke goes blank, his arms falling to his side. He stares hopelessly at the demon as he doesn't see how he can defeat this thing now. It just changed and he could feel even more power coming from it! He was all for getting stronger but this was too much, there was no way he could win now. One punch from it and he'd be pulverized! He was going to die...

Your eyes widen and you scream. "I-INOSUKE!!"

Your scream shatters his thoughts. You sounded utterly terrified, not just for yourself but for him, and Tanjiro's words rang in his ears too. No, he can't die. Not yet. He won't lose—not now—not ever! He raises his fists back up and the demon immediately punches him. He's flung back into a tree but quickly darts away as the demon rushes forward and punches the tree, barely missing him. It was so fast! Inosuke flips in the air behind it and tries slashing the back of its head but it doesn't even make a scratch, instead it breaks his blades.

It whirls around and slams its arm into his body, sending him back into another tree. He falls to the ground with a thud and wheezes, the air knocked out of him. The demon picks him up and holds him up by his head, slowly choking him out. In a last effort, he stabs what's left of his blades into its neck but it unfortunately doesn't do much but make it angrier. It squeezes its hand and starts to crush his skull.

There isn't anything you can do but scream and watch as Inosuke is slowly being crushed to death. Blood seeps from his mask and tears start to burn your eyes, your body falling to the ground, fingers digging into the dirt. This can't be happening! He was going to die! You didn't know if Tanjiro was safe either. Zenitsu should be safe and not on the mountain, but you can't help but fear that something may have happened to him too. And you were certainly going to die next, once the monster killed Inosuke.

No, he was going to die! You were going to see another person—a friend—die a horrible death! Your breathing is short and shallow as you begin to panic, your stomach churning uneasily and making you want to vomit. Everything feels so hot and your head is buzzing, your vision blurry and the edges turning black. You can't breathe. It can't end like this! Please... don't let it end like this!

Whoosh..!

Inosuke falls to the ground as the demon's arm is suddenly sliced off. There's a man standing off to the side and you try to focus your eyes on him as relief floods your system. He was saved... he wasn't going to die. You weren't going to die. The man wears a coat that is half red and the other half is green with an orange pattern. The monster snarls angrily before its arm regenerates and it charges at him. It happens so fast but almost in slow motion, as the man calmly turns and jumps towards it. He lands behind it and the demon freezes in its spot before its body falls into pieces.

Your vision is still spotty and blurry with tears but you saw some of what the man did and it was absolutely amazing! He moved so fast and precisely that he cut the monster in to pieces, in just a matter of seconds. You can't describe the overwhelming mix of emotions you're going through but there's a small smile on your face and you slowly sink to the ground, laying face first in the dirt before promptly passing out.

Inosuke struggles to sit up and his gaze slides to you as you pass out. He tries to get up but can't seem to move, he was totally beat and had no strength left in him. He looks at the man, who looks completely calm and unbothered and stares at him in awe. He was strong, unlike anyone he's ever seen! This guy was on a whole other level. The man deadpans as he takes one look at Inosuke and walks away from him.

"Hold on a second! Fight me, Mr. Mismatched Outfit! You beat that thing and now, right here, I'm gonna beat you," Inosuke yells. "If I can manage that... that'll make me the most.. most powerful of all!"

"I have a better idea. Go train more."

"WHAT'D YOU SAY TO ME?!?!"

Inosuke doesn't even realize he's being tied up with a rope and hung to a tree as he challenges the man. He blinks and makes a strangled sound when he finally notices. What the hell?! How did he do that?! The man ignores him and walks up to you, turning you over on to your back and tilts your face up. You don't look injured, at least not seriously, just a little disheveled. Your hair was messy and dirt sticks to your cheeks.

His face remains blank as he observes you, taking note that you weren't a demon slayer and you didn't appear to be from here either. He continues to ignore Inosuke who hasn't stopped yelling at all and walks away. He had to go somewhere else, as you two would be fine now. He knew there were other demons around that he had to take care of and people to save.

Inosuke huffs and stops thrashing around, exhaustion taking over. "Yeah.. you better.. walk away..."

His head falls to the side as he finally passes out as well.

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Zenitsu's eyes flutter open and he takes a slow ragged breath when a numbing pain washes over him. He can't feel his arms or legs anymore. His eyes keep wanting to close again but he forces them to stay open the best that he can. If Gramps were here, he'd yell at him. Tanjiro would be disappointed, Inosuke would be mad, and you... how would you feel? He isn't too sure but you're all friends now, so maybe you would be sad to see him in such a state. He really wants to take the easy way out right now but he couldn't let you all down—he can't give up! And as if the universe heard his thoughts, a figure gracefully floats down in front of him. It's a woman with dark hair, a big butterfly bow holding it up in the back.

She leans over him, cupping her mouth with one hand. "Hello there," she calls out softly with a small smile, "are you alright?"

He can't speak. He can only manage to make a few groaning sounds, struggling to breathe properly. Her smile doesn't falter even though he doesn't answer and she leans down, pulling out a box and opening it. She picks up a syringe with a clear fluid, flicking it a few times to get rid of the bubble.

"Hmm, good! I can tell you slowed the poison by adjusting your breathing. If you weren't able to do that, you'd be a spider by now. Don't worry, I'm going to inject you with an antidote," she says lightly.

She grabs his arm and finds a suitable spot to place the needle, slowly pushing the plunger to start administering the antidote into his veins. He winces as the strange cool sensation of the antidote courses through him. He hears other voices from below and turns his head to see a group of people freeing the other people trapped in webs. He did it—he didn't give up. His eyes slowly close again and he quickly falls into a deep sleep, knowing he can rest now.

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Tanjiro grits his teeth and braces himself as he plummets down to the ground, far away from his friends. He was going too fast! He needed to use a technique to slow down and soften the impact of landing or else he would get seriously injured.

"Water Breathing... Second Form.. Water Wheel!"

He rolls forward in the air, relieved when the technique mostly works but the landing is still a little rough and he ends up crashing into a tree. He groans as he pushes himself up and hears a girl scream out in pain. He's immediately on high alert and follows the sound of her cries, staying low and hidden as he finds her kneeling on the ground. She looks like one of the demons he saw earlier but her face is covered by her hands as she weeps, blood spilling from between her fingers. His eyes widen when he notices the other demon—the boy—who looks down on her without any emotion. He holds threads in his hands and his gaze subtly moves from the girl to stare right at him, hiding behind a tree.

"What are you looking at? This isn't a play, you know..."

He's appalled and doesn't stop it from showing on his face as he steps out. "Wha—What are you doing? Aren't you two fighting on the same side?"

"The same side? Don't go phrasing it in such an infantile manner," the boy scoffs. "The two of us are family. We're connected by a powerful bond. Regardless of that, this is between me and my sister. If you insist on interfering.. I'll carve you up."

He makes a show of spreading his hands out, the threads glinting dangerously in the moonlight. But Tanjiro isn't deterred by his threat and just scowls.

"You're wrong. Family or comrade, as long as you feel close to one another, that's all that really matters. Saying it's childish if you're not related by blood.. that's not true at all!" He stares back at him with intensity, passion fueling his words as he raises his voice. "Not only that, but those who are strongly connected with each other, give off the scent of trust! But all I'm picking up from you two, is the scent of terror, hatred, and revulsion! That's not something you can call a bond—it's a fake—a forgery!"

The demon's once stoic face changes to one of anger as he turns to him with malice in his eyes. "What did you say? Tell me.. what do you mean? I demand to hear it from you. Come now, explain it to me.."

"Sure, I'd be happy to! What you have isn't a real bond at all!"

The demon moves, threads lashing out towards him. Tanjiro swings his blade up just in time to cut through the threads but one manages to slip by and slash his cheek. He barely noticed, it was hard to detect them.

"Just so you know, I'm not going to kill you in a single strike. Instead, I'll dissect you piece by piece. However, if you take back what you just said to me, I'll make your death mercifully quick."

"I refuse," Tanjiro grits out, standing his ground. "What I said was the unbridled truth—I won't take it back. Not on your life."

He tenses and jumps up as the demon raises his hand and whips out another thread. It cuts into the tree he was just standing by, leaving a horrible mark. He realizes that the stench he's been smelling ever since he entered the mountain was because of this demon. The scent of terror and hatred was so thick before, it was awful but now it was starting to fade and he could detect the threads easier. Good, now he could take him on. He runs forward, leaping into the air to slice at another thread. He gasps sharply when his blade breaks, the thread slashing across his face and he tumbles to the ground.

No way... were these threads really tougher than the demon's body that he couldn't cut through before? He quickly gets up and keeps his eyes on the demon, he can't lose his focus now. Another thread lashes out and he leaps to the side, ducking when it whips back and pushes himself forward. He charges at the demon, if he can't cut the threads then he'll just have to get close and met him head on. But it proves to be difficult when the threads swing around wildly, nearly slicing him. He rolls to the ground to avoid the attacks and pops back up, panting as he and the demon stare each other down, the threads coming to a halt. Tanjiro knows the demon is holding back and yet he's overpowering him...

"What now? Do you still refuse to take back what you said earlier?"

Tanjiro's determined expression remains and the demon's gaze hardens.

"You refuse.. fine, I'll put an end to you now."

The demon raises his hands again and a web of threads come falling down from all around him, they were stretched wide and there were too many of them to dodge. Tanjiro gapes, his body freezing as the webs descend upon him. It couldn't end like this! He had found a member of the Twelve Kizuki and was so close to possibly finding answers of how to turn his little sister back into a human. He wanted to save her. He wanted to save others. But he couldn't fight him alone, he was still too inexperienced and there was nowhere to run. All he could do was watch as the strings descended in slow motion.

'I'm sorry, Nezuko...'

Nezuko...

Nezuko...?

Nezuko...!?

His eyes are wide in disbelief as he stares at the back of her head, her dark locks flowing behind her. Nezuko... was right in front of him and had blocked the oncoming attack, her arms spread out protectively. He doesn't know how or why she was awake after two years of sleeping, but now wasn't the time to question it. He's worried seeing all the deep cuts, blood trickling from her wounds, but he's glad to see her nonetheless. He doesn't want to risk her getting even more injured, so he grabs onto her and carries her over to a safer spot, gently placing her down against the trunk of a tree.

He crouches down to her level, placing his hand on her shoulder and lightly patting her. It was to comfort her, as she was in some pain from the attack but it was also to reassure himself that his little sister was in fact here. He knew that even though she was turned into a demon, she was still alive in a sense, but her being asleep for so long had really started to mess with him. Everyday he'd wake up, hoping to see her awake, smiling, and happy. That maybe this was all just a dream.

But it wasn't and that terrified him. He would have nightmares of her never waking up or that she would actually die and those thoughts would consume him some nights. He had already lost his parents and other siblings, so he couldn't lose her too. That's why he's been training and fighting so hard to find a way to turn her back into a human. That's why his last thought was to apologize to her.. because in the end he couldn't save her either.

But life was funny and cruel, deciding now of all times that she would finally rise from slumber and save him, just when he had lost all hope. He won't lie and say he isn't a little shocked by how she protected him. He's never seen or heard of a person who's been turned into a demon, to not attack people—once turned they were all overcome with bloodlust—just shells of the person they used to be. But here she is, staring at him with a look he instantly recognizes throughout all their years growing up together. In her eyes he can see as clear as day; a mixture of love, trust, admiration, and support. Their family was always close, they had incredibly strong bonds, bonds that were unbreakable even in the face of death.

So, while he is a little shocked, he isn't surprised... because of course sweet, selfless, and strong-willed Nezuko would be the one person to not lose her humanity. Of course she would fight to protect what was important to her. He could cry tears of joy but her face screws up as she grumbles softly, and he notices her left wrist is severely severed, barely hanging on by a few ligaments. His heart sinks seeing her in such pain and instead of tears of joy, tears of sadness prick his eyes. She got hurt protecting him and he feels awful. It wasn't ideal, but her being a demon was all that was keeping him sane right now, as she should be able to heal quickly.

"N-Nezuko, hang in there! You.. protected me, thank you. I'm so sorry, you got hurt because of me!"

The other demon girl had been silently watching her brother and the human fight. She stands and finds her hand clutched against her chest, a strange feeling washing over her.

"The girl emerged from that box and defended him.. but I'm sure she's one of us..."

The boy stares at Tanjiro and Nezuko, pointing a shaky finger in their direction. "Is—Is she.. your sibling?"

"And so what if she is?!" Tanjiro barks back, not sparing him a single glance as he was too focused on holding her wrist together.

He had thought that she would be able to heal quickly, but she wasn't healing very fast, which made him worry a lot. Why wasn't she healing?! He has to protect her now.

"Siblings. Siblings. His sister's been turned into a demon, yet she stays by his side..." he rambles to himself, ignoring the girl by his side. "She risked her own life... to protect him. That is a genuine bond and it'll be mine!"

"R-Rui, hold on a second! Please reconsider, I'm your elder sister.. you can't abandon me!"

"SHUT UP!"

She gasps as she's flung back by a powerful sweep of his webs, slicing her into pieces and falls to the ground. He looks down at her with contempt and Tanjiro listens to them with sadness and anger coursing through him.

"None of you were ever able to fulfill the roles you were assigned. Not once, in your entire life."

Tears threaten to spill from her lash line, her voice wobbling. "Wait.. brother, wasn't I the elder sister that you wanted? Give me another chance!"

"Very well, then. Go kill the humans wandering all over this mountain. If you do that, I'll forgive you for what happened."

"A-Alright..." Her body has mostly healed and she picks up her head. "Yes, I'll do that..." she mumbles, running off into the forest.

"Boy, come on over here..." Rui beckons Tanjiro over.

Tanjiro briefly glances over his shoulder, wondering why the demon—Rui—was being so calm and almost friendly now. He was up to something...

"What your sister did, I found it genuinely moving to behold. I doubt any words exist that describe exactly what I felt." Rui places a hand over his chest, where his heart should be. "However, your fate now is death, a disagreeable conclusion for you no doubt. So, listen close... I'll impart to you how you can escape your fate. It involves your sister. I want you to give her to me. If you do so, then I will spare your life."

Tanjiro's blood runs cold and the hair at the back of his neck raises. "I have no idea what you're talking about.."

"As of today, instead of being your little sister, she's mine."

"You don't actually think I'd ever agree to that, do you?" Tanjiro mutters lowly, hugging Nezuko closer. "First off, Nezuko's not a thing! She has her own will and feelings! There's no way she'll ever be your sister!"

"It's alright, you don't need to worry. I'm stronger than you. I will create a bond with her, one made of terror. She'll know what happens when I'm defied—"

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU SPOUTING THIS NONSENSE! USING FEAR TO KEEP SOMEONE SHACKLED TO YOU, ISN'T THE BOND OF A FAMILY! AND UNTIL YOU ARE ABLE TO FIGURE THAT OUT, YOU'LL NEVER GET WHAT IT IS YOU DESIRE!"

"So irritating, would you mind not shouting? It's clear we don't agree."

Tanjiro gives Nezuko one last look before he stands up and shrugs the box off his shoulders, walking out in the open to face Rui with a hardened glare, fists closed tightly by his side. He was willing to fight and do whatever it takes to save her. He'd rather die than let her be taken away.

"I'll never hand Nezuko over to you!"

"Very well, then. I'll just kill you," Rui sighs, sounding almost disappointed.

"Not if I manage to cut off your head first!"

"Now, that's the spirit. I would love to see you try... let's see if you can take down a being like me!"

He grins as he pushes some hair away from his face, revealing his eye that was covered by the strands and has the words 'Lower Five' inscribed. Tanjiro had already thought of him to be one of the Twelve Kizuki and it looks like he was correct. He holds his broken blade out, tightening his grip on the hilt as he and Rui face each other once again. It wouldn't be easy to cut his threads, so what would he do if his neck was even tougher? His sword was broken, so he has to think of some way to defeat him.

"That steely look in your eyes, I don't like it. What are you plotting? Don't tell me that you think you'll be able to defeat me!" Rui snarls, quickly swinging his hand out.

Threads shoot out but they don't go for Tanjiro and wrap around him, latching onto Nezuko and yanking her away. Tanjiro watches wide-eyed as she's pulled straight into Rui's arms, a vein popping from his forehead. Rui holds her against him, an arm slung around her neck to keep her in place and holds his other hand out with the threads.

"It's settled. I'll be taking her..."

"LET HER GO!!"

Tanjiro launches himself forward as Nezuko struggles against him, growling as she pries at his arm. Her sharp nails elongate and she slashes his face, distracting him enough so he messes up when flinging his threads out to try and stop Tanjiro. It helps give him that split second he needed to dodge the attack, flipping backwards and landing safely. He looks back up to find Nezuko missing from Rui's side, his face contorting in a mix of emotions. Big droplets of blood fall down and splash right in front of him and his gaze shoots up to find her being held up in the air by threads, dangling upside down. Blood pours down from her wounds as the threads that hold her in place cut into her flesh.

"NEZUKO!!!"

"Quiet down, this isn't enough to kill her—she's a demon. But it does appear I'll have to teach her a lesson. I'm going to let her bleed for a while. If she won't learn to be obedient, I'll just leave her like that until daybreak. And then let her burn..."

Tanjiro is furious, yelling from the top of lungs as he charges at him. "I WON'T ALLOW IT! LET HER GOOOOO!!"

He tries to get close but Rui sends more threads out and they whip across his body, stopping him and he tumbles to the ground. He slowly pushes himself up to his hands and Rui walks up to him, kicking him square in the chest, which sends him flying back into a bush. Tanjiro coughs, blood spilling from the corners of his mouth as he tries to catch his breath but Rui comes over, striking him with a powerful backhand. Tanjiro stumbles away, managing to stay upright but he slightly trembles as he pants and coughs up more blood.

"I may be mistaken here... but you think if you get close enough to me, you can chop my head off, don't you?" He slowly steps closer, an amused glint in his eye as he spreads his arms out and makes himself vulnerable. "Well then, here. Give it a shot!"

Tanjiro doesn't hesitate to swing at him but Rui dodges the broken blade and punches him, making Tanjiro spin from the force of it, but Tanjiro uses that momentum to spin back around and land his blade against Rui's neck. He grunts, gritting his teeth as his hand trembles, struggling to cut through his neck. He's using all the strength he has at the moment but it won't go through.

"Didn't I tell you? You have no chance against me." Rui kicks Tanjiro in the gut and sends him flying back. "If you can't even cut those threads, then you'll never be able to cut my neck."

Nezuko watches her brother being beaten and thrashes against the threads angrily, struggling to free herself. Tanjiro is miraculously still conscious but he doubts if he'll be able to win this fight, he's already taken a lot of blows, his blade was broken, and he couldn't cut through his neck—let alone the threads! This was the might of one of the Twelve Kizuki... the power of a demon closely related to Muzan Kibutsuji.

Rui turns to Nezuko as she wiggles around, grunting in frustration. "You're noisy... if you don't quiet down—"

He tightens the threads around her and Nezuko shrieks in pain, more blood gushing out and she passes out. Rui watches her curiously, tilting his head. He could sense her aura was different from other demons.

"How interesting..."

"STOP THAT!!"

Tanjiro can feel rage simmering below the surface, begging to lash out, but he has to calm himself down and not play into Rui's hands. He can't get emotional. He has to concentrate. Control his breathing. Unleash the most precise final form—total concentration! His breaths even out and he stands, getting into a stance before kicking off. Rui turns back to him and whips out more threads, expecting to finally take him down but Tanjiro brings his broken blade up and cuts right through a thread, continuing to barrel straight for him. Rui's eyes widen as Tanjiro slices through more threads, making his way closer with every swoop.

"You don't think these threads are at maximum strength, do you?!" he seethes, becoming a little worried.

He crosses his hands and the threads he makes glow red with power. He makes a cage out of them, surrounding Tanjiro and brings his hand back to pull the strings taut so as to cut him into pieces. Everything moves in slow motion as Tanjiro's life seems to flash before his eyes, distant memories fading in and then there's nothing but white, until he sees his father's face. He smiles at him and the vision wavers, a new one taking it's place, showing him dancing in the cold snow. It was his father's Kagura dance. He remembers being fascinated by it at a younger age, watching him with his mother and siblings. His father was a sickly man but he would dance and dance, his movements were fluid and strong as he held his head high, never faltering in his steps.

He remembers he had later been told by his father that there was a breathing technique, one that would prevent someone from ever exhausting themselves if they could master it. He told him that if he could find the correct way to breathe, he too could dance forever, and that even the cold wouldn't bother him. The ceremonial dance and the pair of earrings his father had always worn, had been passed down to him. They served as reminders of where he came from, who he was, and what was most important to him—of those that he held close to his heart and loved.

His vision comes back and he furrows his brows with a new energy bursting from within, inhaling sharply and spinning in the air as the dance manifests into a technique.

"Hinokami Kagura Dance!"

He cuts through the threads and continues running, yelling with his entire chest as he pours everything he's got—all of his strength, anger, sadness, and love—in to trying to defeat him and protect Nezuko. Closer and closer, he cuts through every single thread until he finally closes the distance and swings, his broken blade arcing towards his enemy. Rui jumps back and dodges the oncoming attacks but stumbles and is barely keeping Tanjiro at bay. Tanjiro pays no mind to the few stray threads that whip at him, he was going to take him down now, even if it meant getting slashed in the process! If it was the last thing he'd ever do, he would save Nezuko!

"Nezuko. Nezuko. Wake up, Nezuko..."

A voice calls out, softly ringing in her ears but her eyes remain closed, even as a gentle touch caresses her face. The voice—her mother—sounds sad, afraid, but still so very warm, just like her touch. She misses her... she misses her father... she misses her siblings. But Tanjiro, he was still here. She could feel it. But there was a darkness inside her that craved for something, something that the light inside her knew was wrong, and she fought against it. She was.. different now.

She doesn't remember much but she knows something happened and it was the reason why her closed eyes were stinging with unshed tears. The reason why her heart aches with a devastating sadness and unbridled rage. Her family... they had all been taken from her. But Tanjiro was still here and her mother was with her in spirit, urging her to wake up, desperation lacing her voice.

"You need to save your brother. You're capable of doing so, I know you are. Nezuko, help him... your brother will be killed if you don't!"

Nezuko's eyes snap open, growling as her hand reaches out and twists, activating her power with a clench of her first.

'Blood Demon Art—Exploding Blood!'

The threads burst into flames and the fire spreads rapidly, heading straight for Rui and his eyes bulge when he sees every single thread burn away, giving Tanjiro the perfect opportunity to swing his blade into his neck. Nezuko roars as Tanjiro yells passionately, telling Rui that their bond was not one that could be severed by anyone, and this time his blade cuts straight through his neck. Rui's head falls to the ground with a thud and Tanjiro collapses to his knees, Nezuko falling down in front of him and he reaches out for her, his vision blurry.

"N-Nezuko," he groans in pain but a small smile spreads on his face, his words trailing off as he succumbs to exhaustion, "we did it.. we won..."

But Rui is still alive and gets ready to attack them again while they're down. Tanjiro can't move and he's devastated to know that they didn't actually win. Why didn't he die? He had thought he sliced his neck! Was this the end? Was all of that for nothing?! But then a figure comes from out of nowhere and silently dispatches the demon and Tanjiro passes out just as the man walks up to him.

#demon slayer fic #tanjiro x reader #inosuke x reader #zenitsu x reader #rengoku x reader #tomioka x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer fluff #canon divergence #choose your ending #tengen uzui #pining #shinobu kocho #nezuko kamado #jealousy #humor #fluff #friends #sanemi shinazugawa #angst

[sky-squido]

😈 🎶 🎃 ? :D

ooooooh more good questions!!

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

isn't this,,,, isn't this like half of my fics?

no, i'm kidding. in all seriousness, in my earlier fics, i was thinking about reader reaction a lot more than i do in my newer ones. i mean, While You Still Can was one big funtimes feels-fest for my readers. i was live-writing it on the Discord, a lot of what happened was driven by shock value and knife twisting and generating those screams from the audience, and i had very little planned, going in. the earlier chapters of To Isolate and What Hyrule Hadn't Seen are likewise playgrounds of foreshadowing, dread curation, and dramatic irony. as time went on, though, i became less concerned with how my readers would react and more focused on what the story i wanted to tell was. i only ever altered my stories in response to comments by making subtle course corrections to make sure my points were coming across as intended, like how in the opening chapters of Hey Four, Wanna Kill A Dragon With Me? people were shockingly vehement about how unfair twilight was being to wind and four and so i altered a bunch of the upcoming scenes to be more nuanced because my readers didn't need me to convince them to be mad at twilight at all. The Price of Adventure is actually kind of the opposite of this, as the whole initial premise was "what if we foreshadowed so much Koholint Angst™ and it was just. never a problem. like he's on an island with seagulls and he's literally just FINE the entire time." that was an intentional move to subvert expectations, but in a good way, not a "mean" one.

so yeah, to answer your question, the entirety of While You Still Can is me bullying my readers by intentionally drop-kicking their emotions for five straight chapters.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

YES ALWAYS i CANNOT write unless i'm listening to music and each scene needs to have the right soundtrack or i just cannot write it i do not make the rules.

i briefly covered my favorite writing soundtracks in this ask meme from ages ago, but i've expanded my music repertoire somewhat, so let's go!

During heartfelt, emotional, cozy campfire heart-to-hearts i used to always listen to Madeline and Theo from Celeste, but now I listen to the Life is Strange Soundtrack because it's that same vibe but More Of It and I just really really like it.

I also have—hmm, this is tricky because it's an itunes playlist because i bought the ost to xenoblade 2 and just listen to it there, but the playlist is called "mmm" and i would listen to it when i was feeling calm and contemplative and a little lonely back in high school and it's really really great for writing scenes that have that sort of vibe to them.

This is literally just my screenshot of the tracks in the playlist. It's really really great for hurt-comfort and moments when someone's just,,, quiet, contemplative, and a bit lonely. There is a bit of Vibe Drift across the playlist, which i usually like because it means i can just skip forward and back through songs to most closely approximate the exact vibe of the moment. Lining up that huge emotional swell in Walking with You with an emotional line is just SO MUCH FUN and really gets me into The Zone™ for a given scene.

I've also been increasingly making playlists for given fics because while I can't write to songs with words (and am scared of people that can), I will daydream excessively and mentally animatic out my fics when listening to certain songs, so i have playlists for To Isolate (MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING), Price of Adventure, and this is just my Fun Times Adventure Playlist so it's not specifically about Hey Four, but it captures the vibes enough that I say it counts.

As for battles/fight scenes, Eclipse of the Moon and End of All (Below) are my fallbacks and they never do me dirty, they are just too good and even after hours and hours and hours of listening to them, I still love them so so so much.

There's absolutely more, but I'll just leave it at that for now XD This reminds me, actually, I should revamp my writing playlist,,, hmm,,,,,

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

kind of! I used to update my fics on my friends' birthdays if i knew they followed it, but ever since life started back up again and i had actual responsibilities and stuff to attend to, that kind of spur-of-the-moment what-if-i-just-put-my-life-on-hold-and-binge-wrote-for-three-days-to-get-this-chapter-out-by-friday freedom has not been afforded to me :,(

i do, however, have an annually updating new years' fic i always add one chapter to on either Dec 31st or Jan 1st called Hope for the Future which started out as a love letter to the fandom, morphed into a bit of a meditation on what new years' means to me, and i've been musing a bit on what this year's chapter is going to look like—it'll be interesting, to be sure! I'm honestly really curious to see how long I keep it up for.

anyway, thank you so much for the ask, and i hope you have a lovely lovely rest of your week!! drink some water and always remember to be kind to yourself <3

#squido answers #linkeduniverse #linked universe #woooo we managed to keep it below the essay-post mark this time #someone give me a medal XD #i love these ask memes they're always so interesting to think about #and it's also really nice to get the little asks #what can i say i like it when people are like #hey you're cool i wanna see how you think about stuff #at least that's how i see asks #anyway ily all and God bless!!!

[theblob1958]

Melissa I dropped my Hairspray CD earlier and broke the case 😭 my CD is fine tho thank god 💗

anyway do you have a favorite version of Hairspray?

i saw the "dropped your hairspray cd" and i was so distraught for you until i kept on reading the sentence. thank god the cd wasn't damaged!!

my answer to this is really complicated because in my gut i want to say the movie because that holds really big sentimental value for me. i first watched it with my friend in elementary school because she loved it, could sing and talk along to the whole movie kind of love, and from then on the movie and the songs from it have always been associated with her and our friendship. BUT at the same time i can't say it's my favorite version because the way they changed the plot and completely cut out or reworked some songs sucks and john travolta as edna was, let's just say, not the best choice (though after reading the movie's wiki i'll say he was a much better choice than the other people they were considering). i also can't say the 2016 live version is my favorite because, well, it just wouldn't be right to say one of NBC's live musical specials was my favorite version of any musical. and ariana grande sucked as penny her singing voice did not fit at all with the music or the other cast members. so i guess i have to say my Favorite version is the original broadway cast. that said, i've been listening to the live version the most, so there's that

it's funny you asked me this because i was just thinking about making my ideal hairspray playlist which would be me picking my favorite version of each song out of the 3 options on spotify. i think my most controversial option for that would be choosing the movie version of mama im a big girl now that's not even in the movie lol i really like that version with the 3 actresses who played tracy i think it's fun

but now, i have to ask you, what is your favorite version, kay??

#this is way too much explanation but whatever it's good to be passionate about your opinions

[septembersghost]

this might be a big ask so it's okay if you can't answer it, but I was wondering if you could help me narrow down some old music to listen to, esp Frank Sinatra and Elvis since I think you have knowledge/reference with both of them? I'm interested in exploring things but there's A LOT and idk where to begin!

i love that you asked this, it's well-established that nothing in the world makes me happier than recommending/sharing music that is special to me, of any kind and from any time! it definitely is a LOT of content to take in, and hard to sort where to look because there's not only so much work across their catalogs, there are also all the compilation albums. if you have apple music, a simpler way to start is the essentials playlists, they don't include everything that i would myself, but they're good overviews! (ep, fs). and i'll use spotify links on these for you in case you have that instead <3

there are such a vast amount of individual songs that it's difficult to choose exactly where to point you!

with frank, first of all, nice 'n' easy is one of my favorite albums of all-time. like it's at the top of my list with red and rumours for Albums Needed to Understand Me. i think the best overview of his earlier years (when he was signed to capitol records, before he formed his own label, reprise), is this one. songs for swingin' lovers, in the wee small hours, and come fly with me are also fabulous. ring-a-ding-ding is so much fun. for an overview of his later career and the reprise years, nothing but the best has some great songs!

with elvis, i am actually doing whole album explorations myself! i've basically just always had a bunch of hits in my collection rather than full records. and my fave songs feel so obvious (can't help falling in love, love me tender, suspicious minds, fever, always on my mind, a little less conversation, i'm coming home, there's always me, it's now or never, that's all right, are you lonesome tonight, baby let's play house, surrender, burning love, that's all right...). the album if i can dream that they remastered/recorded with the royal philharmonic is absolutely gorgeous. this one is a collection of #1's, there's the recording of the '68 comeback special, something for everybody and from elvis in memphis are great.

i'd also highly recommend looking into ella fitzgerald if you like frank's music, because she's wonderful too. the industry was structured differently then - i used to have a wider breadth of knowledge that i could tell you about all of this, it's faded out of my head over the years, but you'll find many of the same songs recorded by different artists because songwriting and vocalists weren't quite as personally interconnected as they are now, and popular music was very much comprised of the songbook standards, so artists would essentially license songs from a given writer and put their own spin on them, rather than all releasing their own individual things. (this is notable, for example, with elvis and hound dog, which often is erroneously criticized. big mama thornton did record her rendition first, but the song was created by and belonged to two jewish songwriters, jerry leiber and mike stoller. it had already been covered multiple times (including by a white vocal group, which was how he encountered it initially) when elvis heard it, liked it, and chose to adapt/record it. (i searched around for info for you and there's more informed elaboration on that here!) a rich legacy of american music from the earlier crooners and jazz artists lies with jewish composers, both on radio and on broadway (and at the time, those often overlapped), so you'll find many of the singers recorded gershwin, irving berlin, lorenz hart, rodgers and hammerstein, sammy cahn, frank loesser, etc. and then there were other prominent writers like the incomparable cole porter (who has been covered sensationally by lady gaga and tony bennett!), johnny mercer, etc. then elvis was very inspired by and had immense respect for black artists/writers, r&b and gospel, so you get an infusion of all of those backgrounds and influences. (frank and elvis were both very openly supportive of artists of color around them and tried to help open doors, as marilyn famously did for ella as well. it was such a complex time, and i think it's important to keep those aspects in mind and remember the many voices and legacies that were playing their parts!) both of those men (and bing crosby, who helped pioneer the single, among other things), and their many contemporaries, transformed music as a whole, and that still resonates powerfully to this day, even in places where we might not realize it.

i hope this helps a little! 💗 the best thing you can do, honestly, is just dive in and explore, you're guaranteed to find gems and specific songs you love, and there's so much to spend time with and to enjoy.

#adore you for asking this 😘 #anonymous #letterbox #frank sinatra #elvis presley #music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent #i was a dreamer

[3rdmeasurement]

10 songs 10 people ! tagged by @whitenikes thnx :) hope i got this right (also i definitely do not have 10 ppl to tag lol but i'll try to get as close to that as i can)

without me by eminem - used to listen to this whole album in the car with my mum all the time when i was like 3 lol one of my fav songs that she showed me

stuck in the middle with you by stealers wheel - have had this stuck in my head for like a month it's so bad. do not even need to say where i first heard it we all know

love from the other side by fall out boy - was so hyped for this to come out cuz i knew it meant a new album and it did not disappoint ! fav fob song they've released since ab/ap cannot wait for the album

don't dream it's over by crowded house - yeah yeah yeah i get half my music taste from films and tv what about it. heard it on the americans in october when i watched like the whole show in a month and now it's on most of my playlists

break by fugazi - one of my fav songs when i was 14 that i rediscovered recently. don't have the best memories tied to it but now i can create new ones w it instead :) cuz i haven't rlly listened to much of em the past few years and i can't let a bad time stop me from enjoying music i like

i can tell there was an accident here earlier by saosin - my all time fav band and their fav song of mine ! remember having to go on youtube for ages to listen to it before they put it on spotify. ngl the demo sounds way better the vibes just aren't quite the same on the spotify version

bathroom light by mt joy - i guess i couldn't escape the nolan patrickification of hockeytwt haha i do rlly like them now tho (want to see them when they play london next summer but 1. it's the day after my exams finish and i'll be too tired and 2. i don't have anyone to go with)

one way or another by blondie - mean girls my beloved <3 sorry to literally everyone but that's where i first heard this song. the soundtrack of that film is so good tho i'm glad this is on it otherwise idk how i would've found it

я сошла с ума by tatu - poppy's cover of the english version of this song is one of the best covers out there imo but nothing beats the original. it hits so different in russian too even though i don't understand most of it (but the bits that i do ? omg)

i hear you calling by gob - think this song is on an old chel soundtrack which is cool. one of the many bands i got into through looking at old tour posters (eternally grateful i figured out i could do that when i was 12 i've found so many good bands this way). this whole album is fuckin amazing but the guitar riff in this song is soo nice. always gets stuck in my head

(@smolpieceoftoast @memphisbelle @fagdeniro @fiftysecondstreet @emuchipmunk @rocket-eighty-eight plus like. anyone else who wants to do this)

#also @ everyone i tagged: plz dont feel any pressure to do this at all :) #dont do these often cuz i forget but this was nice

[theaverewrites]

Yokai and Yaksha - Playlist & Note

𝙋𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

i'll die anyway. - girl in red

✧.* I reach for me, but I'm not there

It's so lonely, but who cares

It's fine, it's okay

I'll die anyway

Juliet - Cavetown

✧.* Sometimes I act like I know

But I'm really just a kid

With two corks in his eyes

And a bully in his head

Exhale - Laureli Amadeus

✧.* Show yourself to me someday

I will be speechless

But for now let me

Lay it all down

As It Was - Harry Styles

✧.* In this world, it's just us

You know it's not the same as it was

In this world, it's just us

You know it's not the same as it was

Million Years Ago - Adele

✧.* I know I'm not the only one

Who regrets the things they've done

Sometimes I just feel it's only me

Who can't stand the reflection that they see

Cat And Mouse - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

✧.* Am I supposed to be happy?

With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.

Am I supposed to be happy?

With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.

Hole In The Heart - Rachie

✧.* That’s why a hole had opened up where my heart is

Pounding, my heartbeat tried to fill up the nothing

But when i tried to say it loud, the words that left my mouth

Were nothing more than excuses

Hawk In The Night - Madds Buckley

✧.* Sharpen your talons and fight

Claw at the world as it claws out your eyes

We raised you right

Hawk in the night

Overfly - Amalee

✧.* Hands up high

Raise them high

And cast your worries to the sky

If you can't stand, then take my hand

Recently, - Liana Flores

✧.* But recently

Everyone says they are seeing less of me

I could do better if I had energy

Be like I used to be

Old Friend - Mitski

✧.* You'll meet me at Blue Diner

I'll take coffee and talk about nothing, baby

At Blue Diner,

I'll take anything you want to give me, baby

Should've Been Me - Mitski

✧.* Cause, I haven't given you what you need

You wanted me but couldn't reach me

So you went into your memory

Relive all the ways you still want me

listen before i go - Billie Eilish

✧.* If you need me

Wanna see me

Better hurry

'Cause I'm leaving soon

brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

✧.* All I did was try my best,

this the kind of thanks I get?

Unrelentless upset

They say these are the golden years

Crossing Fields - Amalee

✧.* I know your strength is what I lack

You've got my back and now that I've got yours

I have you to thank for lighting up the dark

Because you're here with me, our dreams will soar free forever

Meteor Shower - Cavetown

✧.* Missing pieces of my skull

I'll sew on patches of my own soul

There's nothing you or I can do so let the stars fall

'Cause from up here the sky's my thoughts and we're all so small

A Burning Hill - Mitski

✧.* And I am the fire and I am the forest

And I am a witness watching it

I stand in a valley watching it

And you are not there at all

Fourth of July - Sufjan Stevens

✧.* Did you get enough love, my little dove

Why do you cry?

And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best

Though it never felt right

Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery

✧.* Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you

I need you here to stay

I broke all my bones that day I found you

Crying at the lake

Cloud 9 - Beach Bunny

✧.* But when he loves me I feel like I'm floating

When he calls me pretty I feel like somebody

Even when we fade eventually to nothing

You will always be my favorite form of loving

rises the moon - Liana Flores

✧.* Oh-oh, close your weary eyes

I promise you that soon the autumn comes

To darken fading summer skies

Breathe, breathe, breathe

Thought Crime - Rachie

✧.* The birds cry out their song in the sunset!

The empty ache I feel starts to sing a swan song too

And yet you linger still in the shadows, standing on your toes, sky a flaming red hue

Slipping off my tongue was my goodbye to you

1. Constructive criticism is okay as long as it is legitimate feedback and not just hate.

2. There are a lot of musical references in this story, particularly in reference to the songs listed in the earlier chapter.

3. Please refrain from overly sexual comments.

4. The Xiao that I write is more akin to his Chinese portrayal than his English one. In other words, he's going to be more apathetic than angry.

5. The reader is based on a Japanese mythological creature. It's not a completely accurate representation, as they're only based on that creature, but quite a few of their characteristics have been adapted.

6. The reader is referred to using they/them pronouns, but may present as mostly feminine.

7. This takes place in the canon universe, and thus has canon level violence.

8. This story has topics that are not suitable for everyone, such as themes of grief and trauma, abandonment, and minor s/a. If any of these topics make you uncomfortable, I suggest you click away now.

9. This story will be posted on wattpad (@-AEONSTYX), Ao3 (@aeonstyx), and tumblr (@theaverewrites). Any and all updates about this story and others will be posted on wattpad, so I suggest you follow me there to keep up with changes.

10. Genshin Impact is owned by Hoyoverse. Please support the official release, and enjoy this fan-made story.

#theaverewrites #genshin xiao #genshin impact xiao #adeptus xiao #xiao fluff #xiao x reader #xiao x you #xiao x y/n #genshin fic #genshin impact #genshin fluff

[mrs-kelly]

👀

I thought I'd look up a new picture for this gush and. That was such a mistake. I started looking at all of them while listening to his playlist and now I'm crying. I'm up earlier than usual and I'm crying over James. I'm overwhelmed with all the emotions of our short journey. How I started off thinking he was my least favorite fictional character in history. How I was so annoyed I'd have to deal with him. And how over time I saw who he really was deep inside. It felt so much like a real relationship, watching him go through so many hard things, and seeing how those things affected him. Seeing how he changed. How love and loss made him more willing to be more vulnerable with the people he trusts. But he remained himself through all of it. He become a much more caring and empathetic man, but he never lost his sense of humor. That same spark has always remained in his eyes. And I fell in love with him so desperately for it.

This picture is from one of the first episodes of the series, and when I was watching it I never even wanted to look at him. Just the sight of him infuriated me. And now I look at photos of him from the beginning and I have such an emotional reaction. I know how he was feeling then. I know why he was the way he was. And I can't excuse those actions, but I can empathize with his situation. And I see this man and my heart hurts. I can only hope I can give him enough love to help heal from what he's been through 🥺💕

#'james is the best character in all of fictional history; in this essay i will--' #i could talk even more but im supposed ot play pirate game now ajfkdls #ill save the rest for another ask!! #thank you this one teddy :3 #im gushing out here folks #lost in your eyes

[sunshinesolaic]

same anon from earlier; actually listened to the playlist. gotdamn is it a good playlist. i suppose its quite convenient i've been getting sick of my genres lately, (i dont want anymore sludgepilled deathcore headache-inducing noise, i just want some lyrics damnit) so the folk sound was a warm welcome. maybe i should spend some more time in the celtic folk music scene, with how positively i raise this playlist. i am a sucker for soft beginnings and slow uprising of orchestrated sound, very convenient this playlist has a lot of that. the mechanisms goes as hard as i remember. the goddess and the weaver is a gorgeous song in it's own right. i've listened to the oh hellos for a long time because i was raised in the warrior cats community, but i was just never in the right mood for its sound, i suppose. now that i am, it has entangled me and i am, for one, going to make this relationship symbiotic. leaving my computer for a minute and coming back to plough the shit was very jarring. i was nervous for heather dale, because i was confusing her for.. conan gray i believe his name is? i don't like conan gray's sound. i had a friend two years ago who really liked him, and i can't stand him. lovely tunes though, was pleasantly surprised. squalloscope is also quite pleasant, maybe i should give folk another shot. the only artist i actively listen to thats comparable is elliotly, but he's a little less.. and a little more.. i don't know. i think in a very disorganizedly-organized way, and rugged is not the word to describe it but it's the word my brain is giving me. the playlist is more a muted orange, muted orange-red underbelly with light yellow highlights, and elliotly is more a light orange, red-leaning maroon undertone, yellow overtone. like a sunset and a sunrise, both similar yet distinct. it might be because he utilizes more piano, synths, and percussion, while the playlist uses more stringwork. tldr: rambles about the various artists over the course of eating one apple. playlist goes hard 👍

anon i hope you know you have me weeping /pos

i’ve not had many—likely any—people appreciate my music before

to hear you talk in depth appreciating these songs i care so much about brings me so much joy!!!

i absolutely agree with your appreciation of the goddess and the weaver! it has such sounds to it! often gets stuck in my head for quite some time whenever i listen to it!

and ahh i recognise the name conan gray but i cannot recall a single song of theirs. either way, heather dale i love very much! the way she writes lyrics fascinates me, and i spend a lot of my time listening just to appreciate the stories she tells. “for his fur was the colour of a starless night, and his eyes like burning coals” is a particular favourite of mine!

i love the idea of the playlist being those muted warm colours, it reminds me of autumn! i love the natural feel of folk music- the way in which it feels as though you are stumbling into a forest of magic and mushrooms and things you may never forget.

either way. the music i listen to gets me rambling on for quite some time! i’m so happy to hear you appreciated it as well!

#gosh i am melting /pos #pov when people listen to the music i hold very dear to my heart #and APPRECIATE it????? #if you’ll excuse me i’ll be over here sobbing /vpos