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#and now i cant fall asleep because im too mad
evie-sturns · 2 months
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𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘥 - 𝘔𝘢𝘵𝘵 𝘚𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰
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summary: when you and matt first started dating, you made a rule, that you two would never go to sleep mad at each other, but tonight a heated argument breaks that rule.
warnings: arguing, angst?, crying, swearing, fluff.
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me and matt don't fight often, in our 4 months of being together we've only bickered, aside from the odd big argument. we always make up by the end of the day because of our rule. never fall asleep angry with each other.
9:48pm
"matt i promise, i didn't mean to." i sigh, i'm exhausted after our arguing, which has been going on for 45 minutes.
"you didn't mean to search my phone, im sure." he scoffs, grabbing his phone and checking the time.
"i fucking didn't matt, your phone was being spammed every 2 seconds so i picked it up, then you came in, its not my fault it looked different from how it actually was."
i say, my voice raising as i go to walk away, but matt grabs my wrist, yanking me back towards him. "so all the other apps that had been opened weren't you hm?"
he says glaring down at me, matt never loosens his painful grip, i don't think he even realises he's hurting me. his rings leave red marks on my arm.
"im going to sleep matthew." i say, my voice barely audible and wobbling.
matt's grip softens, allowing me to pull away.
i run upstairs, slamming the door to the bedroom behind me as i hold back my tears.
i rarely cry, matt's only seen me cry a handful of times meaning its a shock for him each time i do.
i strip down to just a tank top and panties before crawling into bed, shutting my eyes, hoping to sleep off the built-up frustration inside me.
just as i feel myself drifting to sleep the door swings open, followed by matt's angry stomps. he rips down the covers and plops himself in, before yanking them back up.
after a few minutes i roll over, matts back is facing me. i reach out a hand to grab his, he pushes me off. "dude don't fucking touch me?" matt says, somehow moving further away from me.
that'll do it.
i climb out of bed, grabbing my pillow as i walk over to the small basket in the corner of our room, filled with blankets from our previous movie nights. i pull up a blanket into my arms as tears fill my waterline. matt flicks on the lamp which rests on our bedside table, a warm yellow light fills the room.
"what the fuck are you doing this time." matt says, squinting his eyes.
i erupt into sobs, my face scrunching as tears soak my face. through my blurred vision, i can partially see concern and worry painted across matts face. i have a pillow under my arm, a blanket in my other and im clutching matts pug stuffed animal, which we share now.
i walk out of the bedroom, shutting the door softly behind me before sprinting downstairs, i place my pillow down on the small couch, and lay down, pulling the grey blanket over me and cuddling the pug to my chest, which shortly gets damp from my tears.
11:34pm
i dont know how long ive been asleep, or even where i am, but i'm woken up from matts arms around me, holding me in a bridal position. "matt..?" i say, looking up at him through my swollen eyes.
"i know gorgeous, theres no heating down here its too cold for you sweetheart." matt says, his voice soft and quiet.
my eyebrows furrow, did we even fight? or did i dream it? i look down at my wrist, which is red from where matt grabbed me earlier,
we fought.
matt carries me upstairs, his grip on me is so gentle i cant even comprehend how I'm being held up right now.
he opens our bedroom door with his elbow, the room is pristine, cleaner than I've ever seen it. "why is it so tidy in here.." i squeeze out, my voice raspy. matt clears his throat "oh-.. uh couldn't sleep so i cleaned.."
he pulls back the covers, readjusting the pillow with one hand before laying me down. "do you want me to come in the bed with you or are you happy by yourself.." matt says, his voice timid.
"you can come in.." i say, wide awake now and fully aware of everything thats happened in the past 3 hours.
matt lies down next to me, his body tense.
"im really sorry, i feel so guilty." matt says, tilting his head to look over at me. i nod, "it was my fault too." i say, fidgeting with my nails.
"no its not, i overreacted so much i don't even know what went over me, i regret it so much." matts voice shakes.
"i feel like shit for even touching you." matt says, "and i'm sorry for waking you up but i didnt want to break our rule.."
"huh?" i say, looking over at him, our eyes making eye contact.
"no going to bed angry with eachother.." he says with a small laugh.
i roll over to face him, a wide smile spread across my face. "oh matt.." i say, climbing ontop of him and laying down, burying my face on his shoulder and wrapping my arms around, underneath him.
he hugs me back with a sigh of relief, but somethings different,
"matt! where are your rings?" i say, sitting up on his torso and grabbing his hand.
"i couldn't even look at them without feeling guilty, i know they dug into your arm.."
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i love this i was in such a writey mood
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crushedsweets · 7 months
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tumblr user crushedsweets i am here to ask you another question about toby nat and nina. if nina was able to convince them into having a sleepover, how do you think it would go. what games would they play? what snacks would they make? who would inevitably wind up passing out on the floor with the other two comfortable on the bed? who would fall asleep first? i love them so much and i love your hcs for them
tumblr user anon i am here to cry because this is the perfect ask.... ok im starting now. this is mostly nina-centric cuz toby and nat are just following along. much more playful type headcanons
ok. ok.
toby would totally let nina and nat stay the night at his cabin if the other proxies were gone, he wouldn't need much convincing cuz nat already stays over a lot and ninas ... sweet enough. but in that case he wouldn't let them do any sleepover type stuff bc 'its my house im not watching twilight' (twilight reminds him of lyra). it wouldnt really be a fun sleepover or anything, but they'd bake cookies or something with nina for sure. prob got high/drunk too
now for more cutesy less edgy stuff...... i will be babygirlifying them all for these hcs... sorry not sorry. not canon to creeped(MAYBE).
BUT she'd definitely have to do more coaxing to get toby to come to her apartment. she lives in the city and that's not really his thing, but nat works over there so it's whatever to her.
assuming jeff is gone (only way tobys coming over), nina would be so cute about it. she'd have a blow up mattress set up in the living room, brought several bags of different candies and chips, put up random fairy lights, lit some candles so it smells sweet. her apartment is usually a little messy cuz she's a busy girl but for them . . she cleaned.
i could see nina being a really touchy person, constantly hooking arms with people and hugging them and playing with peoples fingers and stuff. it would take toby and nat forever to get used to it bc its admittedly kinda weird and invades personal space but she's so genuine with it and sweet and like :D theyre like OKAY FINE . so they'd just be walking around doing whatever and nina would pop up grabbing them like 'what r u doing in my kitchen :) the movies still playing :) youre missing the climax :) theres food out there :) youre making me mad :)'. or sitting watching a movie n she dozes off on their shoulder. etc.
nina would be swapping movies between things like 'to all the boys ive ever loved' to like... saw. oddly enough nat and toby are more likely to sit still and watch the romcoms just cuz they get invested in the plot ... LMFAO
i cant see nina actually getting them to play any sleepover games, BUT she'd hook up a switch. she'd try to play smth like overcooked with them but they rage too fucking hard and she has to swap to like. a mario game.
ok maybe she could get them to play like 2 rounds of truth or dare or never have i ever.
nat would like sour and hard candy... toby would like chocolate candy and baked stuff.... so nina would get the candy together and make them all bake some brownies.
she'd also make them make normal sugar cookies and try to decorate them but toby would make the ugliest fucking cookie possible and give up and let the girls decorate.
realistically nat and nina would end up on the air mattress and toby on the couch, BUT if they were stuck with just a bed, toby would take the floor. he'd offer cuz he's not about to share a bed with either of them.. but he'd prob wake up with nina on the floor too cuz nat KICKS in her sleep. nina curls up like a cat
nina falls asleep first. toby falls asleep last.
nina would try to convince them to let her do their makeup but toby would get irritated that she'd even ask. .
she'd defintely make them do skincare with her though .. nina uses snail mucin and the other two think she's weird.
the next morning ninas awake first and making pancakes. she walks away to go to the bathroom and gets distracted by washing her face and doing her hair and stuff and burns them so bad it wakes toby up... he comes in and turns off the stove and just waits for her to come back to call her dumb.
nat wakes up last and is so disorientated for like 30 mins after waking up... she just eats the food like a zombie until nina makes her wash her face again and shes up properly.
she'd try to get them to stay as long as possible, but theyre exhausted and as sweet as nina is, she's a bit much . . so they go home LOL. but nina would send them the cutest little "thank u for coming over i had fun i love u guys :3" text the next day and theyll feel kinda bad for leaving.
nina is just such a genuinely nice girl .... she just wants to live the teenage dream well into her 20s because she was um. Um. she behaved in a way. that um. highschool was not the most pleasant. and threw many of her teen years away for Um. a man. of sorts.
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(No original idea, (like the idea of the characters having control over your phone)
What if the people (playable characters) had acces to our phone?
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U got games on ya phone? Those are not yours anymore the kids and itto have claimed them as theirs
-klee is probably playing angry birds or sum-
.
Oh wait HOLD TF UP YOU DONT WANNA GET OUT OF BED?? ye paimon is turning on the alarm sound (wich not suprisingly is her voice. But you had different lines no? Did someone change it?)
"GET UP YOU...
Ehm traveler do you think i can call them a nickname?
-aether shakes his head-
"JUST GET UP ALREADYYYYY"
A presentation is suddenly done without you doing it? How strange. Must be ganyu? Ye
"oh their grace has an economy presentation? Well maybe it would take some stress off their back, im sure they still have plenty of other work to do"
.
Most of the smart people (albedo tighnari etc) use it for their research. I mean they can learn so many things (if you spoke another language i think a lot of them would try to learn it)
"oh so these are flowers from their world? Hm interesting i wonder what these plants can do, maybe when their grace is here i could ask them"
.
Suddenly new playlists have been popping up. Wondering who did it? Well the culprits are probably venti and xinyan taking the oppertunity to listen to your worlds music.
Suddenly venti is playing soldier poet king on his lyre
.
Also random pictures? Of the MOST random things in tevyat.
"Oh wait why tf do i have a picture of an anemo slime? Wait i did not take this? Eh whatever i probably just forgot"
.
Ah what is this, the things you liked on Tumblr? Yae Miko now is in charge of that (Poor you) +bonus if you write yourself)
Oh? So this is what their grace likes to read huh?
Would probably also make light novels inspired by the things you read
Would keep the things you read a secret tho for teasing inspiration ofcourse
.
When you finaly fall asleep (lets say the phone lays next to you) some will just go up to the screen and say goodnight (like their in the screen)
(favorite character) goodnight your grace..
.
Or when someone in your class is making fun of you and you speak up THEY WILL FCKING CHEER FOR YOU (ofcourse you dont hear this bc of the class being loud asf (i have childe in mind haha)
-all the yelling between you and this person-
YESSSS GET THEM YOUR GRACE
Oh you should see the pride on his face
.
On the other hand when they hear you cry they will fcking panic. I mean they really wanna help you but they cant because of the barrier in between
"WHY CANT WE CHEER UP THEIR GRACE?! THEY SHOULDNT WASTE THEIR TEARS"
"as far as we understand your concerns but we will have to wait until the time is right"
Ye there is utter chaos between the people
.
When you have to make school work online its randomly made for you? Huh i guess dottore wanted to see what you always have to do
"oh wait i think i still had some chemistry homework"
-sees the work all done-
"Wtf, i didn't make it before? Eh maybe someone else made mine on accident. Well too bad for them"
.
Also lets not talk about the random number that randomly texts you haha (PLEASE YOU DONT GET IT WHY DO THEY KEEP SAYING "your grace")
.
They have all sort of agreed to not tell you that they have access to this... Weird Artifact, until your finaly in tevyat.
.
.
Please dont be mad at them once they do, they put in so much effort.
.
I dont understand yall anymore so here, have this. The things i expect to do wel do absolutely not and just random drabbles get so much likes, like what?
Anyways have a nice day/night :D
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MO!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE LOVED!!! SENDING LOVE 💗💗💗💗💗
Tell me about Napoleon! :)
Need cute things and you x Napoleon is adorable I need it!!!! ><
YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT?? THATS DANGEROUS I MIGHT RAMBLE ON FOREVER!! WHAT TO SAY WHAT TO SAY UHHH UHH it's winter now so i imagine getting out of bed is extra hard for him during this time of the year...he's sooo grumpy he'll drag you under the covers the second you try to pull them from him and allow chill air to hit his sleep-warmed body. and i imagine he's warm like a furnace so will you really fight back?? no you'll just remain there and make a fool out of yourself. you're now both late for breakfast. is it really breakfast time? has the day even truly begun with how dark the sky is outside? it's sleepy time. it's time for cuddles. napoleon is so wise to break free from these ridiculous social norms. you bask in his wisdom, his loyal disciple of sleepiness. you're zzzing before you know it. an hour or so later he is ready to rise and shine and he sneakily puts a pillow for you to hug, blissfully ignorant of his sneaking out of bed, and he barely contains his snrk-ing as he tip-toes out of the room. and he whips a quick breakfast (brunch?) for two, bringing it back to his room and letting the smell of eggs and bakey gradually drag you out of dreamland until you awaken to a breakfast in bed. and NAPO? HE. HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO MOCK YOU FOR SLEEPING IN. he's all like, "how can you fall asleep so easily like that? silly nunuche. if I had let you sleep in my bed more, just when would you wake up? in the afternoon? you're lucky im here. look what i made you. sit up and make sure to eat well." AND YOU CANT BE MAD AT HIM BECAUSE HE'S SUCH A SWEETHEART TO MAKE YOU BREAKFAST AND OH IS THAT YOUR FAVORITE DESERT TOO?? he's impossible. you look straight into the camera, realizing that you're never going to stop loving him
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firstdivisiongirl · 14 days
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Hello there! Can i request a perfect match for tokyo revengers with a male character please? Going by the list here, some of my likes are: thunderstorms/rainy weather (i love to fall asleep to the sound of the rain), food, music, freedom, money lol, spending time with my loved ones, looking pretty, surprises, learning something new, warm baths and spring season. Some of my dislikes are: being controlled and restricted, people who pester me to tell them what's wrong when i clearly want to be left alone, spiders, minions (kidding, i don't mind them), sneaky backstabbers, cheaters, really hot weather, being taken advantage of, people who can't mind their business and coffee.
My pronouns are she/her. My personality, i would describe myself as shy at first. Like i just don't know what to say sometimes, so i can be a bit awkward too but i try. Now if we're close i like talking about whatever comes to mind and i love hearing their opinions. Especially when i need advice on something. I don't waste my energy on people who don't put effort in relationships/friendships. I enjoy making others laugh. I'm responsible, caring and protective. I'm also playful and like to have fun. Of course i do know when to be serious, but sometimes certain situations make me giggle idk why. I don't like routines because after doing the same thing repeatedly i get bored. I can be childish and clumsy sometimes. Since i'm more of an introverted person, i do need some time to myself to recharge. Depending on how close we are, i either reply fast or take a while.
Hobbies: As i stated earlier, i like music so one of my hobbies is listening to music. I listen to a lots of types of music, but my favorite is kpop. Some of my favorite kpop groups are ive, newjeans, aespa and nmixx. Dancing, video gaming, learning new languages (besides english, im fluent in spanish and french. currently teaching myself italian!) yoga, graphic designing, solving puzzles are some of my other hobbies
Extra: I have HORRIBLE eyesight, but i rarely wear glasses. I need a stronger prescription anyways 😭 so whenever i cant see something from my afar i ask my friends or siblings what it is. My love language is gift giving and physical touch. My favorite dessert is cheesecake and my favorite food is pizza. My favorite colors are pink and purple. I don't like being babied for the most part (unless im sick), but i do like being spoiled
Thank you so much by the way🥰
Hi! I am excited to do your matchup. Sometimes for me, matchups are easy to figure out for me. And yours's was one of those. I hope you like who you get. And lets get started.
You Got...
Ken "Draken" Ryuguji!!!!
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You give me mad Emma Sano vibes in the best way
He would like that you aren't too serious, but not too carefree. You are mature and know when it is time to work and when it is time to play.
He would love to listen to you and give you his opinion. He is apparently really good at listening and giving advice.
The ladies at the brothel? They'd love you. I just know it.
He very good at taking care of people (as we see with Mikey), so he would definitely take good care of you. But he also is not one to baby someone, so he wouldn't baby you either.
I think dates would indoor movie nights or something fun that you like. He would love to see what you like and maybe he learn himself. Maybe he'll teach you something too.
He's spending lots of money on you. Expect lots of gifts. He probably one them for you.
He may seem cold, but he's a big teddybear. Remember that
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morwap · 2 years
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so sorry if this ends up as a vent i dont mean it to be I'm litterly so mad I had a new method and it was going well then I just can't fall asleep I purposely didn't go back to sleep last night so I could fall asleep shifting so now im tired number 1 and number two I feel defeated when is the universe going to help me out I don't belong in this fucking reality and I'm over it too I just want to be happy why don't I get that I'm so fucking upset and all my good friends don't understand it's so irritating so now I'm sitting here crying like a bitch I wish I never learned abt shifting I want to sleep I don't understand its fucking annoying and I've read all the fanfictions for my character so i cant even escape through that i cant maladaptive daydream because i just got out of that addiction litterly why cant i just be happy goddammit- 💚
i know it’s irritating bby :( but i feel like maybe you should take a break for a little bit since you’re feeling like this
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kassiemari · 2 months
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H A P P E N I N G S L A T E L Y
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Hi guys it's been a year since i wrote here HAHAHA!!! It feels new again but I have the urge to write again after what has been happening in my life lately. So, let me minimize the major HAPPENINGS hahaha 
I have (5) five major happenings that got impact in my life
W O R K 
First thing on this was my work, yes WAS I've already RESIGNED to my last job that Ive known for 5 years being in that field that I can do even if I'm asleep HAHAHA. You know i dont have really regret that I resigned from that job though I missed doing that work but I'm happy with my current work now. My resignation on that work was impromptu. I don't really think of the consequences once I file that letter. 
On my exit interview HAHAH i can really laugh at that but earlier this i was scared and i feel like crying because i was harassed by the chairman of the company. He insists that I'm doing work outside and I'm involved in the wrongdoing of one of their managers, even if I know that I can just let it just blow like that because it's getting big and the consequences might blow my mind HAHHAH.
I feel that I'm so important in that company that they are willing to raise salary and change departments for me even if it's very convincing. I said NO for me it's my peace of mind and harmonious environment, i think our department was too TOXIC too . I can't do that working.
But now I'm working as a registrar in a language school in a harmonious and peaceful environment. My boss now is too kind and talkative, so I feel like talking to my grandma because they are the same ages so I can do their flow as a person.
Lately former work calls me for help if they can't do the communicating workers od missing files it was okay from me but comparing me to the newly hired was OFF to me, like example once the newly hire cant do the work i was doing they're compare me to them, they hired 2 or 3 staff to fulfill my work, i cant handle that i feel like anytime the newly hired can harm me or have despise feeling towards me. 
HUWOW what a dramatic first event HAHHAHAHAHH
It just number one only and just cut it out na lang for no long readings na 
Okay raise your hands if you watch FRIENDS 
Yes you heard it right that's my number 2 FRIENDS
And here we go to the number two (long post ahead HAHAHA)
 F R I E N D S 
How can i start this hmmm i'm thinking to lessen it but i think i cannot do that i have a lot to say I guess okay let's start with the one i'm always with i cant mention names though you don't know them it just im still protecting them 
Hmmm okay im begin with this do you ever skeptical towards one person? If you do okay I felt normal because that what i'm feeling right now towards this person, were very close inseparable i guess but lately i found out something that triggered this feeling.  
I'm not mad because i can't be mad but you know what hurt the most for me is the DISAPPOINTMENT yes i'm disappoint at that person, firstly this person share to her husband that she's accommodating third party i'm not judging her but i noticed that but she kept on denying that and i ask her a two question that mark on me
Did you regret what you did? She said quickly NO
Did you fall in love with that person? She said NO too 
but I could see in her eyes that it was different. I'm a person who listens to whatever you say and nothing to say too but to listen but if you notice I observe everything even if it's a single detail. I'm not convinced with her answer and that stops me from asking na her.
Then lately I don't know what's happening to her na because i lie-low on out every night talking i don't answer her calls quickly but I'm still seeing what she's doing, this is the questionable thing to me is that why is she doing that? WHY? 
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She's happy outside then lonely inside, i know that feeling because i've felt that i keep pretending to be jolly on the outside but im struggling inside because they needed me 
She's ranting to me, one of my friend do the same, my sister also did so how can I can be so weak outside when they need someone like me
On what i'm reading i don't know who she misses that much that every day she keeps on posting on what she misses i've read all of that, all of it as in from the start, then what question me is why she suddenly delete that post when it notifies every friends of mine that i'm using that posting social account, she even private her account and after deleting she public it again.
AGAIN WHY?
Why did you say bad things about that person then be friends with her the next day?
Why do you say hurtful words towards your husband then be sweet the next day?
Why do I have this feeling that you are still attached to this third party?
Why did you say that you talk to a third party because i can't talk to you that day?
Why did you do that again? Your husband says it was your 5th time?
What's your true reason?
What is the true you?
Why did you do that backstabbing your manager and be friends with her?
Why do you keep me doubting in you?
Why are you doing all of this? For what?
When will you be true to yourself?
I keep asking that in my head hopefully it reaches her HAHAHA what a lame it never does, it never will.  
Okay i just her this na lang at that, i have this another 
I forgot to tell that last year and earlier this year before i've resigned we rented apartment that near the building we worked on, were 5 me, her, her husband, processing head and the soloist person HAHAHA that's what they called her, and i want to end this na her time in this blog HAHAHAH 
I think I can go na to the third one 
 F A M I L Y
Of course yes FAMILY it was included always why it would not diba? Every filipinos has a family culture and attitudes and that's why my family has it, if i would choose family when ill be born again i guess i would choose this all; over again even though so many dramas and so complications HAHAHA 
Is it me lang ba to experience this but this family has a culture of holding one family member till the end, on my past earlier year of age i was happy about it because i feel the love but when you grow up and think of the future it makes me like they'll be holding your wings to fly on your own 
Don't be a hindrance to people, how can we grow and be stable in what we are wishing if we keep doing that.
Lately, i've been applying for abroad i don't want my life end like this i have 4 dogs for fucksake i dont want to let them suffer from me i super live them so much that i cannot eat just to have a food to send them, i have a dream of having my own home to called it.
I even bought another investment a condominium but lately i think i can't afford to pay the amortization to due lack of financial support, and sister of mine have plans of having me by her side on her entire life i can't do that, she have a family of her own and i don't have
I do have plans of my own, my brothers already have separate lives now with their partners and I'm still living with her and my nephews.
I do love my nephews very much im the one who  take care of them when my sister had to work abroad, but please don't be ridiculous that you'll gonna say to kids that i want to left the house
Yes a big YES it's for me to grow up more to live by myself and to have my own family, even having a boyfriend is a big deal with her WHY? I'm going to be 30 and and im still like this 
I don't like this please open your mind its not leaving you its spreading wings to have a good life 
I'm not content with my life now, having a small salary and having many debts that you don't know because if i start not giving my part of the house you're gonna say bad things that can hurt feelings and your feeling was also hurt.
STOP DOING THAT GROW UP PLEASE 
You have 4 kids don't rely on anything think future with your kids do not include me because already say this to you a million times that I HAVE A LIFE ON MY OWN i'm not  always be here all the time learn things on your own.
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 I N V E S T M E N T
I'im continuing this writing after a few months since October because WHY NOT? It's still happening lately isn't it? 
So last year after I resigned and accepted that my first house to buy is on the market already. Know why? Because my sister backed out of our plan so I tried to recover it from posting on a market but still I just survived it for a year then gave up when I couldn't provide for the payments. 
So after a month on the market it was already bought by a beautiful family, were friends and they were kind, my last say to them was ‘please take care of my first investment thank you for buying it for me’. The money i got from them is HAHAHAHAHA 
FOR PAYING CREDIT CARD BILLS
FOR MY DOGS
GROCERY
HELPING A NEEDED FRIEND (HAYS That is actually not yet paid since then)
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But most especially i bought a new investment a CONDO UNIT HAHAHAHAH, wow bigat si mima naka condo HAHAHAHA, it was just a small studio type unit that i can use for me and for my dogs, it was a good and y feeling that you can pay on monthly amortization even though it was sos hard. But the fulfillment they've given to was a SURREAl
Another investment was to lend it them to business owners who can give you a return after 2 months (only work days) it was saving my ass for the amortization though 
Congratulate me i'm going 1 year to be called ‘INVESTORS’ HAHAHAH i actually got pay return or the PROFIT in 3 times in a row without complications (hoping not to have) 
Isn't it proud of? My little investment was my little success isn't it? My fam not knowing about it HAHAHAH i just dont want to know them i don't want to heard words that might discourage my choices in life, i'm tired of it. 
In this era I guess we don't need to have life, we just need to survive.
  A B O U T   M E
Do I need to include myself here? Actually i don't know i forgot the first 5 happenings to me this is so recent, forgive me, i'm so old na din kase HAHAHA
Ayun na nga old na nga ang mima mo so, growing up (not literally) our perspective in life changes in a snap yesterday this is what you want but when  the mature you hits you OHHH you have to ask yourself again if it is worth it?
Lately, I've been thinking about my life. My life now is about my dogs who 2 of them passed away, it was very very painful to me, devastated was understatement. Actually YUMI is my sisters dog she was 4 months old and my baby boy AI is 1 yr and 1 month old he was son of my yuki and hiroshi, when they passed away im not with them im at Batangas working because my boss was here in Philippines i need to be with her all of appointments. I still can't go into details because it was hurting so i've let it aside just for now IM SORRY.
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What I'm thinking these days is what life is for me, is it just gonna be stuck here? Or to move a little bit more far, I'm tired of thinking about how I can give this help or needs to them without noticing I'm struggling inside. Actually no one there is asking me how are you? Only Sami (he's another story to tell HAHAHAH Huyyyyy Landi)
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I have this feeling that i need them to see me happy and positive always because their struggling too and they've said please continue like that, so i need to be extra strong for me and for them also, i have to admit it makes me tired and drain but i see to it no one knows about it because it might upset them and that what im not want to happen.
This maturity hits me big time quota actually but im starting to hate it more nowadays.
All I wanted to say was that it was not the problem that makes me drain but all the people who surround me that I wanted to cut off but i can't.
HUYYYYY CAN I ADD ONE MORE IT WAS 5 IN THE PAGE 1 AHAHAHAHAHA
BUT I NEEDED TO INCLUDE HIM
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Okay just another writings na lang so he can have separate from this a special HAHAHAHAH huyyyy wag ganun gurl landi na 
So i've ended na lang there in 5 major na yan, 
I also want to write an open letter HAHAHAHAH because it's been trending for the past years. I wanted to try that, hopefully i find time like this to write how i felt and feel.
Thank you again for keeping my feelings light 
See you around 
Have a great day ahead
Love and kisses
Kassie Mari
0 notes
raincamp · 4 months
Text
12 01 2023
vent post
i want to murder my roommate so fucking bad.
ive been feeling like shit recently. my hormones are all out of wack bc my endo didnt refill my testosterone for two weeks, and also started me on progesterone. ive been feeling more intensely in the past three days than i have in the past 6 months. its scary. and dysphoria inducing.
its like my bpd is coming back full force. i had it fucking numbed away for the past 3 months and now its back and i cant fucking ignore it. im gonna fail soon, fail at coping through stuff.
ive been using drugs and alcohol to do that work for me and now im trying to be sober. i think thats fucking with me too. im becoming unbearable. unbearable to myself and to the people around me. im so much better when im on something.
i had my first day at a new job today. i only worked 3 hours but the job is super physical and i ended up immediately falling asleep the second i got home, and then my roommate woke me up, and then my cat wouldnt let me go back to sleep (not in the cute way)
my roommate is getting on my fucking nerves today, and im trying to tell myself that its just because im exhausted from work and moody bc of my new medication but FUCK dude i hate him so fucking much. he used to be my best friend. im splitting.
he keeps like. dating people. which is fine, but hes online dating and he keeps getting ghosted, which is normal, but of course he has to ask me for my opinion, and for advice, and then he always automatically shuts me down, or turns it around to me saying something bad about him. like. hes specifically asking me for advice. and then not listening to me. and then making me look bad.
and its always fucking "i did something wrong, somethings wrong with me" and honestly its getting to the point where im tired of hearing him say that. im tired of telling him to stop putting his self worth onto girls that dont even have the decency to tell him they dont like him.
and then when i go to walk away, end a conversation, ignore him, etc. hes always thinking im mad at him or he did something wrong no matter what i say to reassure him. i tell him im tired from work, im hungry, its not about him, i need time alone, and then he starts getting upset about it.
i hate it because it reminds me of me.
maybe not now me. not current me. current me knows how to reassure myself. current me knows how to communicate. current me knows how to cope through percieved abandonment.
he doesn't and it pisses me off. now i have to do the mental work for both of us.
im so fucking angry
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blackvail22 · 6 months
Text
9/24/23 — 1:10am
theres a lot that happened within the past two days its insane. on the 22nd, i had to train this new associate for the whole day. he's rlly nice, and he's fun to talk to. he caught on really quick! im excited to work with him
also, that same day, i got back with my ex!!! it could be a dumb decision (because this is the 3rd time) but i really want things to work out. again, no one is going to know besides you... and... my coworkers, but thats different
the coworker that gave me his number, he gave me a note at work that says "im awkward so i dont know how to say this out loud, but i like you" and then taped a soda tab on it (it was the "hug" meaning one, which... i dont like but could be worse). so! ive told the new associate i have a boyfriend. im going to tell them i have a boyfriend, but im telling those im closest to at work that its because i dont want my worker to hit on me anymore
if he keeps going after that, i have to report him. im not letting someone get away with that, not this time.
i have to start standing up for myself... im just scared because of that teenager who got killed because she rejected her (adult) co-worker, im afraid its going to be me. this is the reason i dont like hearing abt death.
on another note, back to abt my boyfriend....
im writing this as soon as i ended the call with him. i miss him already. i wonder how and why my brain changes how i react to things because of a label. i feel so clingy. i want to talk to him more. he does make me happy, and i hope i make him happy too
oh, i also bought this candle... its supposed to "smell like london" and it says the scent is "afternoon biscuits and tea" so thats nice. i bought it to think of you, nd its nice that the color of the candle matches my room
oh last thing ! i took my permit drivers test and i passed it! feels so surreal because i never thought i was ever gonna end up driving but here we are lol
anyways i like this song
6:06am —
dude i couldnt fall asleep until like 4:30am and my mom woke me up at 5:30, screaming at me to find something i didnt have!!! i found it! and it was in her bag, a place she didnt look (because she only looked one place!!!!!!) at least i can sleep now, but idek if i can do that because i feel awake now. im going to sob. FUVKKK I HAVE A HEADACHE AND SINUS PAIN NOW IM GOING TO CRY DUDE. and the fact that she walked up the stairs to scream at me (she never walks up the stairs)???? ooo. im so mad bro! like im going to wake up whenever i have my alarms set and im going to punch a wall because i cant sleep without getting interrupted. IM PISSED TF OFF NOW bevause i havent had adequate sleep since my last off day (a week ago) and i dont have a lot of sleep for tomorrow because i have to wake up at 6am for an appointment thats 2hrs away. sure, ill sleep in the car, but with my mom? she wont let it happen. and i dont have another off day untl thursday, and i cant sleep in for that one either becahse i have another goddamn appointment in the morning. like, is this what being an adult is? being harrassed by coworkers, never having enough sleep, never able to fall asleep.... it cant be cause those all haopened when i was a teenager too. stuck in that cycle, though, and i cant wait for that cycle to finally end.
bad things always tend to happen to me. is it because i bring bad energy? AHHHHHHH i just need to scream cry
i am going to try to sleep now. I've rambled on for way too long
11:17pm
been incredibly sad today. i think it was my lack of sleep, or maybe it was my mom yelling at me and waking me up. still, my heart feels so ... heavy. i cant help but feel bad for people who love me. if i was them, i would choose anyone else to love endlessly. im undeserving of it all, anyway. i dont feel happy tonight. i hope tomorrow's better. i dont know what changed and made me feel this way because when i woke up and went to work, everything was fine until half way through my shift. it didnt really effect me, but them saying "oh, fun's over.. [my name]'s in a bad mood again.. everyone get away" keeps playing in my mind. it didnt affect me then, so i dont know why i keep thinking about it
i just want to fit on my roof and look at the moon, but its been rising really early so i dont think ill be able to see it now. ill watch some livestreams from space of the earth/the moon instead. something to comfort me while listening to music. i havent been able to watch any videos all the way through recently.. havent even been able to watch those gaming streams i like. hopefully ill feel better before i go to sleep
0 notes
saybees · 3 years
Text
Some days Oscar and I are friends and some days he barks LOUDLY out of nowhere for no reason while I'm doing homework or napping and I hate him just a little bit
0 notes
0fucsgiveon · 2 years
Text
Your not Jules/ Elliot x Fem!reader
Masterlist
warnings!!/ Depression, Drug’s are mentioned, smut, p in v, NSFW, praising, some degrading, choking, angst, fluff, rough/soft sex, 18+
You catch Elliot with Jules and one thing leads to another
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Everyone seems to misunderstand situations even if they were there or weren’t there.. Most people don’t even realize when they hurt someone feelings until in the end..
You were one of the many people in the world dealing with depression, mental illness’s you name it.. You exactly didn’t have a terrible life you used to be a young girl with bright dream’s and a hopeful smile, Now you realized being too nice is a weakness and having a bright dream is for those who will excel in the world.. Those who were sober.. Clean… pure and most importantly not as broken and depressed as you are.
Sigh
You blink as you fall off the couch you fell asleep on after you Rue and Elliot decided to watch cheap dollar store movies that were honestly the perfect thing to put you to sleep, Slowly you get up to see that rue has left and Elliot is gone presumably the bathroom. Slowly you drag you feet to the bathroom but only to be fully woken up to the sight of Elliot in the bathroom with Jules on her knees. What the fuck..
You ran out the house with tears running down your cheeks you don’t exactly no why, maybe it was the look on his face when he saw you, he looked almost mad.. Or was it how you felt your heart getting steped on and thrown out into the trash.. Or maybe was it because fucking jules broke rue’s heart. Stoping to pant you looked up at the cloudly blue sky. You never told him your feeling’s and you probably never would.. sitting on the bench you hugged your legs your knees prompted up to your chest.
Fuck fuck fuck… was all he could think.. he didnt want you to see that not you… He has known you forever and he hurt you like all the others things in his life and for the first time elliot felt himself wanting to hold you have you right there to see your smile or listen to your goofy ass stupid jokes. He would look for you and when he finds you he was determined to show you all of him.
You were sitting down on a bench hugging your knees tightly. You didnt want to admit how you indeed do love Elliot.. sigh holding onto your phone you wondered of calling rue would be a good idea or even fucking maddy but all you did was look at his contact. My addict❤️ you felt anger rise in your chest as you threw your phone not looking where you threw it. “nice throw..” a raspy voice spoke one you knew all to well.
You rolled your eyes and got up and walked right past him bumping his shoulder a little to hard when he grabbed your shoulders turning you to face him. “Come on princess don’t ignore me.” He looked hurt as he looked into your eyes and he looked down at your lips than back at the face he thought was so beautiful to him and he gently hugged you pulling you close to his chest. You just stood there but finally relaxed hearing his heart beat rapidly.
“Why Elliot why do you have fuck freaking Jules… whats so good about them why not me… ive been here for every breakup..every meltdown ” you mumbled to yourself. He sighed and grabbed your cheeks pulling you close as he kissed you passionately and soft with a hint of roughness. He tasted like a small hint of weed and a watermelon lollipop. You kissed back pulling him closer by his neck deepening the kiss. “Fuck y/n.. its because your not jules your you the lost pretty flower among weeds, you will always shine so bright that you cant see how much you fucking affect me..”
“Fuck i think about you all the time when im fucking someone you cant get the fuck out of my head.. it because i love you y/n i fucking love you so much”
You stared at him and pulled his shirt closer to you. “Than fucking show me”
Thats how you ended up here on his bed back arches and lip bleeding. “Fuck Elliot” he flicked your clit with his tongue sucking on the bundle of nerves sending waves of electricity throughout your body. He smirks at the beautiful small gasps and moans coming from you mouth as he slips two fingers into your throbbing core.
You arch your back at the movement and hold onto his hair as he pumps them in and out moving them in all sorts of motions. Your legs began to tighten and Elliot can feel your close so he only moves them faster and sucks harder as your wave of ecstasy comes and your a shaking mess just from the touch of his mouth and the feel of his fingers. He kisses you up to your face, not bothering to lick up all the cum leaking for you he was gonna use it as lube for what was to come.
“Are you sure, y/n” he softy speaks looking into your eyes for any source of fear or discomfort.
You only pull him in a kiss bitting his bottom lip and nodding. He takes that as a yes and lines himself up with your entrance his length rubbing against your folds coating himself in your slick and juices before he slowly pushes in and your cunt grips around him your walls adjusting to the big girth he has.
You both let out a pleased sigh’s of satisfaction as he is all the way in. He pulls out almost so the tip isn’t in and slams right back im watching your chest bounce and the moans your making as your face looks like a lewd pornstar. “Elliot, Please~” he smirks and goes at a faster pace. “Fuck tell me your mine, y/n you feel how good im making you feel fuck your fucking heaven” he whispers praises im your ear and moves to your neck leaving “love bites” you claw his shoulders as his thrust’s became even more faster the bed shaking.
“Fuck Elliot im close, you make me feel so good” he feels your walls gripping hum as your high approach’s and he grabs your neck holding it there with his hand not to chole you but bring you closer as you finish calming down from your high. He flips you onto your stomach using your body as a mere toy pulling your ass up to his cock as it throbs and slips right back onto you. “Fuck, if only you could see how much of a slut you look princess, so pretty for all my use and my use only all mine” you moan at the praise and degrading you get as he pulls your hairs so your back is against him and fucks into your cunt way harder repeatedly hitting your g-spot. “Fuck, i love y/n”
“I love you to Elliot” you both shake as your orgasm comes and he slowly thrusts releasing his load in you as it drips down your and his thigh.
You knew one thing for sure.. you were addict and enthralled with the one boy you loved and that was Elliot
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jeonfiiction · 3 years
Text
BTS Reaction: You giving them the silent treatment
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A/N: My first reaction!!! I made this awhile back so the reader is female but look forward to more. Some male readers and also nonbinary reader reactions! Enjoy!
Warnings: Slight Angst, Fluff, Suggestive Themes, Cursing, A kind of sorta breakup, female reader.
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Kim Seokjin
It had been a week. One entire week since you had spoken a word to the eldest member and your prized boyfriend. His words echoing in your head.
‘Leave me alone!’ Jin yelled at you when your hand went to reach for his. Your worry about his mental health bringing about the sudden skinship but his yell piercing through your heart. “You are so annoying sometimes!”
“Kitten?” Jin’s soft voice echoed off the walls. Your body slumped against the couch, book open on your lap. The door shutting with a soft click before the light footsteps of your boyfriend followed. His body slowly sitting next to yours. Your eyes never leaving the book refusing to give in after his hurtful words last week.
“Baby…” Jin mumbled. His hand coming up to push the book down, eyes meeting yours. Guilt and regret shining clearly in the brown orbs of your lover, except the sight not doing anything to stop the sadness inside your heart.
You don't respond, like always. Turning your face away and pulling the book back up to your face. Not really reading. Very much aware of your boyfriend’s stare.
“Please baby, I...I didn't mean to blow up at you.” Jin pleas as you slowly close to book. Setting it down on your lap and looking back at the older boy. “I was so stressed and that gave me no right to blow up but...please.” Jin’s begs made your heart ache. The book falling to the floor as you moved. Slowly, gently wrapping your arms around him.
“...ok.” You let out a small breath as you spoke. Voice quiet. Jin reacting instantly. Arms wrapping around you and pulling you closer to him.
“Please forgive me, please. I love you so much Y/N.” Jin states quickly. Kissing your head and rubbing your back. Arms of yours holding onto him gently.
“I do, I forgive you.” You breath out. Resting your head on his shoulder. “I love you too.”
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Min Yoongi
  “Will you stop ignoring me?” Yoongi asked with a huff. His earlier greeting earning nothing but a glance from you. The same response he had been receiving for the past few days, since his unexpected blow up.
  “Get the fuck out.” Yoongi ordered Slamming his hands down on the table in frustration. Eyes snapping to you as he growls in annoyance again. Standing up, the chair hitting the wall and startling you.
  “Yoo-"
  “Get out!”
  “Baby, come on.” Yoongi sighed out. Leaning across the counter as you cooked. Your eyes watching your hands as you cut some vegetables for the soup. The boy slowly moving around. Arms wrapping around your waist and pressing his chest against your back. His head nuzzling into your neck. Breath fanning against your skin. Small pecks being made, his lips trailing down. The knife dropping out of your hand, eyes closing briefly. A small sigh slipping from you after so long without Yoongi.
  “...Yoongi. I’m still mad.” You said simply earning a soft hum from the boy. His lips busying themselves by kissing up your neck. Hands around your waist pulling you closer to him.
  “Let me make it up to you.” Yoongi whispered. His guilt shining clear in his low voice. “Let me show you how sorry I am.”
  “...Fine.” You gave in. Yoongi smiling against your skin. Turning you around to face him. Dark eyes capturing you as his lips connected with yours sweetly.
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Jung Hoseok
It was so unlike Hoseok, Mr. Sunshine of BTS to get so stressed he lost it. His bubbly attitude and down right loving nature preventing him from ever taking his frustrations out on anyone, expect last week. The new dances and constant critiques made about his moves sending him into a frenzied panic.
  “Please...just go.” Hobi muttered. Already rewinding the song. Fanning himself with his shirt with his free hand. Face red from the amount of work, sweat dripping from all the exercise. The bags under Hoseok’s eyes revealing his lack of sleep.
  “No, you need to sleep.” You argued. Stepping to him and reaching for his phone. Worrying filling you at his state.
  “I don’t need or want your help! Go away!” His yells sent you flying back. Tears pooling in your eyes and his own dark orbs reflecting Hobi’s instant regret.
  “Just talk to me!” He pleaded. J-Hope’s eyes wide with the need to hear your voice after a week of pure silence. His hand touching yours where they were folded on your lap.
“...Please.” He begged. Voice low in sorrow. “I know I messed up, but please...let’s talk about it.” Your heart ached at his pleads. Letting out a small huff of defeat.
  “Okay.” You mumbled. Hoseok smiling brightly. Squeezing your hands as he began to explain himself. Each word already healing the wound on your heart.
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Kim Namjoon
“I wouldn’t have asked you out if I would have known you were gonna be this damn annoying!” He yelled. Pulling away from your touch. His hands yanking on his own hair in frustrations. Your heart shattering, even if you knew Namjoon didn't mean it. Words still slicing through your soul.
  “...I didn’t mean to insult you.” Namjoon whispered. Your back facing him in bed, eyes having been closed since he had arrived. Leading the man to believe you were asleep. His hand touching your arm gently. “I was frustrated, mostly at myself. Not only because of all the work piling up but also because, I was having to push you aside.” Namjoon’s voice cracked as he spoke. Soft words turning into a quiet sob as you turned around. Your boyfriend looking shocked at the sudden movement.
  “Hey, hey.” You whispered. Cupping his cheek and wiping the tears as they fell. “Don’t cry Joonie.” His warm hands wrapped around your wrists. Eyes flickering across your face to study any sigh of anger.
  “I...I love you so much.” He managed to push out. One of Joon’s hand letting your wrist go to wrap around your waist. Pulling your body to his. Your hands moving to press against his chest. Head resting on his upper arm as he laid it on the pillow.
  “I love you too.”
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Kim Taehyung
  “Just leave me the hell alone.” Taehyung snapped. His tone filled with annoyance and exhaustion. Your constant affection only furthering the stress in his mind and leading him down a path he would never had never thought was possible. Hurting you.
  “I...fine. How about...you just, find someone who doesn't bother you as much as I do then.”
  Those had been your last words to him since two weeks ago. Missed calls and texts from Taehyung filling up your phone to the point where you just stopped using it. Your work even calling you after the first week of absence and then sending you a text not to come back the next week. Pieces of your life falling apart. Heart heavy with the loss of Taehyung, heavy from his words you knew deep inside he hadn't meant.
  “Baby! Come on, open up!” Taehyung’s voice sounded from the door. His loud knocks echoing through your otherwise quiet apartment. Each jolt of the door sending a pulsing pain through your heart. “Please! We need to talk!” Tae pleaded. His knocks stopping and a sound of his hand moving down the door faintly filling the room as you stood. Slowly opening the door to reveal.
  The boy’s eyes found yours. Fear and sorrow twirling through his. Bags under them revealing his lack of sleep. Hair disheveled, clothes thrown together. Taehyung appearance never having looked so bad in your entire life knowing him. “Baby...im sorry.” He whispered. Hand pressed against the doorframe to balance him.
  “Why did you do it?” You asked in a whisper. Taehyung’s eyes lighting up slightly at the sound of your voice.
  “I...I was stressed and stupid. You didn't deserve that, at all. Please...I...I cant live without you.” Tae’s pleaded and the sound made you step forward. Slowing hugging him.
  “I love you.” You whispered. Taehyung repeating it as his arms wrapped around you. Making you feel at home once more.
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Park Jimin
  Jimin had to miss an interview. His voice needing time to rest but despite his free time, the boy had closed off. Blaming himself for letting down the boys. Even as they all understood.
  “Babe, we all have times where we need to rest.” You stated gently. Running a hand through his hair and wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind.
  “Baby, just...let me be alone for now.” Jimin muttered. His tone thick with annoyance and frustration, mostly with himself.
  “Jimin...listen to me. Please.” You begged Hating his down mood and just wanting to help bring back the cheerful Mochi.
  “Just leave!” He yelled loudly. His eyes dark with frustration when he looked at you.
  It had been months after leaving him to tour without you. Going back home after his blow up. His texts and calls going unanswered. His anger something you hadn't deserved and you were determined to show him that.
  “...Princess?” Jimin’s voice filled your house. Your eyes flickering to him from you bed. His own eyes filled with guilt. Guilt and sadness. Bag dropping to the ground by the door as he slowly moved to lay next to you. Scooting over as he did. “Oh baby...please.” He begged. His hand slowly wrapping around your waist and pulling you to him. His chest pressed against your back. Face nuzzling into her neck. Your heart racing at finally being near him, despite being upset at him.
  “...I don’t want to...be around you after that.” You managed to get out. Jimin’s lips leaving kisses down your neck as you spoke.
  “Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blow up at you. I was wrong too.” Jimin pleaded softly. His lips trailing down your neck more. Holding you tighter against him. “Please. I love you so much baby.”
  “...I love you too.” You mumbled. Knowing he really didn't mean it. Leaning your head back for him. His hand moving up as he nipped at your skin.
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Jeon Jungkook
“It’s been a week. Talk to me.” Kook snapped out. His tone soft despite the annoyance behind his words. He hated being ignored and maybe it was wrong to use that to get your point across, but it worked.
  “I messed up, I got hurt.” Jungkook mutters to himself in anger. Having a hard time as he prepared for the show. Shrugging on his jacket and glancing at the chair he would have to sit on. The entire time.
  “Baby...things happen.” You cooed. Trying to make him feel better. Slowly helping to fix his jacket. Jungkook’s eyes remaining on the chair with resentment. Pushing you, gently, off him. Hurt flickering in your eyes.
    “Go away.” He growled in frustration. “I don't need you to sugar coat things and baby me.”
  And you had left. Hadn't even been able to comfort him when he started crying on stage due to his leg and guilt for pushing you away.
  “Babe. One entire week, this is outrageous. Please.” Kook spun your chair again to make you face him. His eyes watching you carefully.
  “You closed me off.” You finally said. Jungkook’s eyes lighting up at the sound of your voice. Touching your arms with hope.
  “I know and I was wrong to do that. Please...im sorry.” Your heart betrayed your mind. A small smile spreading across your face at his joy of hearing you speak. Nodding a little as his lips connected with yours.
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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years
Note
HI BESTIE IMY HEBSBRBS AHH I’ve been so busy ... also recently got super sick and I’ve not been well at all ,, it’s just the flu / a stomach bug tho ! :,) hru ???
Your latest reaction was so good ,, thoughts r being thunk ?? Thinking about skz reaction to you rubbing / jerking their dicks just whenever you’re bored .. and you don’t even really notice that they’re getting off ahah IDK IT JUST SEEMS TO HOT ??
Once they cum or wtv you’re like ;) hsshbrbs
I have a dick but honestly it’s never bothered me reading ur shit directed towards a female reader ? For some reason I really like it bye 😭🤚
-🚬
BABYBOOOY WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SICK?!?! :((( Hope you’re feeling better now, i should give u some of my healing medicin aka my kisses :(( <33 
Also that last bit AAh thank u T-T i try to be more inclusive but like AAAGH im always so scared that i’ll mess something up from my lack of ~ knowledge ~ BUT I REALLY TRY MY BEST >< so thank uuu for having patience for my dumb ass
ANYWAYS SPEED REACTION LEGO 
warnings: skz x gn!reader. handjobs, blowjobs, cum, orgasm (m), cum eating, slight overstimulation
Bangchan
“w-what the fuck” 
yeah thats his only reaction when you suddenly stick your hand down his pants, wrapping your hand around his dick and slowly stroking it while big spooning him
you werent trying to get him off... more like... you wanted something to play with while watching the movie
boy would be ~ flustered ~ 
he’d find it interesting
why would you jerk him off if you didn’t want him to cum yk?
like that type of thoughs
but of course you can’t expect him to not react LMAO
you were fully immersed in the movie because it started to get interesting now and you didn’t notice how you started jerking him off faster. 
until...
you felt something warm and wet hit your hand paired with his dick twitching
you looked at him and saw that poor boy was biting his bottom lip so hard trying to not disturb you with his moans
“did you cum?” you say, lifiting up his pants to which he yelped and put his hands over yours right at his crotch. “n-no”
Minho
be bold with this man 
pull his pants down when he���s just chilling ASHASHA oh god
he doesn’t think it fair 
eventhough he does the exact same to you
when he does it to you it more like he simply wants to feel you all over, not intending for you to get turned on
but make one moan and this mf thinks it a game
“how many times can i get y/n to moan”
NO OK BUT RETURNING TO YOU -> HIM
it would take sum time to get him to cum
he doesnt strike me as the sensitive type and so you could jerk him for quite a while which hey more fun for you
but ooone faithful day he was more turned on than usual leading to him cumming quicker than he usually does during one of those times where you played with his dick
stroking it, running your thumb across the tip, licking it .. you name it...
you smirk when he accidentally cums on your lips and you lick it off and he just starts complaining (yk when jisung bit his fingernail in that two kids room episode, yeah that tone)
“y-you can’t just do that!!” you start chuckling “what? mad that you came like a bitch?” 
nex thing you know you’re pinned against a wall OOP sorry
Changbin
he lives for this BUT only if you give him attention
which you dont because you’re simply bored and dont want to get him off, more like... liking the feeling of having him in your hand lmao
“can you at least look at me?” you shake your head, holding his semi-erect dick in your hand “shh,,, im watching something!” 
that would be the everyday conversation ahsahsha
I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD GO FOR A WHILE??!
he’d be relativly quiet as well so you wouldnt notice until he actually cums and you’re like “...wtf why is my hand sticky”
BRUH U START APOLOGIZING HASHAS HE JUST GLARES AT YOU FOR NOT GIVING YOU ANY ATTENTION
but he came anyways so..
you try to escape the situation but he’s not having it
“nah you’re not escaping now, finish what you started baby”
Hyunjin
another boy thats lives for this 
why? because a) its a handjob b) he likes the thrill of not knowing when you’re bored c) because you forget what you’re doing and he likes seeing you surprised when he cums ASHAHS god bury me 
would purposefully make you bored 
“the wifi is down y/n,, guess we having nothing to do...w-wanna give me a handjob”
you shrug, “alright” 
you’re completely lost in though, wondering when the wifi will return or what you guys should eat for dinner
suddenly he cums,,, a lot,,,
you laugh at him and he’s kind of blushing with his hair covering parts of his face. 
“i-i’m pretty sure the wifi will be down for a while” ;))
Jisung
FUCK YES LETS GO
he would already just be naked infront of you at random times
like,,, whats the point in putting on clothes after the shower if he knows that you are going to sneak up on him and jerk him off yk?
but what this boy didn’t know was how you didn’t notice most of the time
your hand just having a mind of it’s own...
but you’d notice pretty quick 
since this boy LOUD YALL 
whiny mf 
“shush!” you say, scrolling on your phone with one hand and jerking him off with the other.
you didnt intend on making him cum,,, just giving him a massage ASKKASJSKSA
he’d act all like “ppfft... you can’t make me cum from just that-”
and then shuts up because “h-hey... this feels too g-good”
not thinking he’d cum this quick you started talking to him but were quickly cut off from him letting out a long moan
“f-fuck,, y/n..h-haa,,,”
after he cums you’re like “heading to bed”
but he pulls you back, grabbing your wrist and looking at you with big doe eyes
“c-could we keep going?” 
Felix
boy would be walking around, holding his crotch because he never knows when you attack
because he belong to the more... sensitive bunch of boys... HE DOESNT LIKE IT TOO MUCH
mostly because he’d cum too fast and it would leave him embarrassed (awh poor boy:(( ) 
thats legit the only reason LMAO
noo poor boy wants to appear all tough for you even though you’ve told him over 100 times that he doesn’t have to be, you love him for who he is yk? <33
BUT NOPE stubborn baby sets bets with you
“ok this time i won’t cum that quickly... last time was a practice round”
ASHAHSH WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY JESUS
4 minutes later... YEAH YOU GUESSED IT
and you didnt even notice?!?!
you just thought that those sounds were him in like pain ASHShHAS
because you were to preoccupied thinking watching tv
needless to say,,, he was pouty,, for a while
until you attacked again LMAO
Seungmin
ok gimmie a second,,,, i need to think 
alright... he likes it BUT he’s shy
you need to give the puppy some time to warm up 
do it too fast and he gets scared AHSHASH
so ok lets say that the both of you are doing,, nothing
and you just slowly feel him up and it eventually leads to you jerking him off
you’re not even aware of how good he’s feeling with your hand around his cock
“y-y/n can you stop?” 
“stop what- oh”
looking down you notice that he already came, his cum coating the tip and your hand with white thick ropes
NOT THAT HE CAME FAST JUST THAT HE SUFFERED WITH THE SLIGHT OVERSTIMULATION ON HIS OWN
goddamn... seungmin is always so difficult to write for ONLY ME?!?!?
seungmin stans are already knocking on my door SORRY IM TRYING
Jeongin
BLUSHY BOY
I REPEAT; BLUSHY BOY
“w-what are you doing y/n~?” he says while your hand travels down the side of his body while the two of you were chilling in bed. “im bored” you huff out, looking him in those big brown eyes. “we can play videogames!” he says trying to make you get your hand out of his pants but you shake your head. “i wanna play with you instead” 
boy would melt
painfully shy (and hard)
because you it all happened so fast??
the two of you were chilling, everything quiet and peaceful and before he knows it you’re jerking him off vigorously
he covers his face with his hands, occasionally sneaking a glance of your pretty face from inbetween his fingers as you give him a handjob
you’d be too focused watching his face as almost falling asleep not noticing the boy squirming around 
until you hear
“h-hghnn...”
thats his cumming sounds btw HAHSHAH IF I WASNT CLEAR ENOUGH
jesus i cant write reactions for shit BUT THEY SEEM TO BE REALLY APPRECIATED SO YEAH!
I have 2 more of these coming up oh and also remember that this is legit word vomit SO ITS NOT PROOF READ AND UHM... i’ll try to do the two other ones this week heheh ^^
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backseatloversz · 2 years
Text
is it too late to post messy pre-slash anderperry hurt/comfort n say its for anderperry week. its called it's the small things <3
todd has a headache. todd has a headache, and its fucking killing him.
he knows he needs to study but he cant focus on anything, can't even fall asleep. hes laying on his bed above the covers and his arm is thrown over his eyes because there's no curtains on their windows and the sun hasn't set yet so its right in his face. (well, not really. there's a shadow over his face, mostly, but still. the room is too bright and it makes him mad that there's nothing he can do about it.)
and neil.
neil's sitting against his bed, reading a book for class. he's silent, because they'd been bickering earlier until todd broke and told him the reason he'd been so irritated all day was because he had a splitting headache so would you stop shouting at me please. neil told him to lay down and todd told him to shut up. i can go then, i should be studying anyway- neil snapped, and todd said wait.
he'd sat down on his bed and fought back tears because he was upset - upset with neil and upset with his headache but not really upset with neil, or anyone else, really, anyone but himself. 'm sorry i snapped at you. can you - he trailed off. neil had been at his desk, paused from grabbing his books, and he walked over to sit next to todd.
what?
no, nothing. it's stupid.
neil pressed their shoulders together. he was silent for a moment.
im sorry, too. im sorry you have a headache and im sorry i shouted at you. and whatever it is, im sure it's not stupid.
can you just - todd's voice was quiet. his face is burned and he rubbed his nose. can you just stay here? his head was pounding. (dont ask why dont ask why dont ask why.)
neil looked at him and todd looked at the floor. another moment passed before he responded. sure. (thank god thank god he didnt ask why.) is it alright if i read?
yeah. yeah, of course.
and that's how he'd ended up sitting on the floor, back against todd's bed.
he's staring at his book and they're both quiet because they'd been bickering, and it's still kind of tense. todd's head is pounding and now neil's is, too, and he can't focus on any of the words because his mind is too busy wondering why why why why why.
he hears todd sniffle.
he sets his book aside and twists his body, rests his chin on the edge of the bed. todd. he says.
todd doesn't respond. his chest is shaking and there's an arm thrown over his face.
todd. he says again.
this time, todd moves his arm and turns to face neil. hm.
you're just gonna make it worse. neil whispers.
what?
not - not crying. holding it in. the pressure- it'll make your headache worse.
every fiber of his being is telling todd, look away. turn your back. ignore him and go to sleep and maybe this humiliation will wash away. but his throat aches, and the way neil's staring at him -- he can't. i don't even - i don't even know why im - why im crying. todd swears and his voice breaks and he tries to cover his face, but neil reaches it first.
the back of his hand presses to todd's cheek and it shocks him. he he prays neil will assume it's just burning from the humiliation. you're stressed. aren't you? welton does that. todd swears he stops breathing when neil moves his hand so it's holding his face, instead.
yeah. he manages. yeah, stressed. hot tears streak down his face and he squeezes his eyes shut. he knows why he's crying now, knows it's because he's overwhelmed -- overwhelmed by neil, neil and how close he is, neil and his warm hand on his face, thumb gently rubbing circles on his cheek, so tender and for what --
neil. he whispers. neil hums. neil. can you - his voice shakes. he sniffles again and opens his eyes and neil's looking at him, softly.
hm?
can you get me some water? please.
neil takes his hand back and todd immediately misses his touch. yeah. of course. his voice is soft and low and when he stands todd does bury his face in his hands, draws his knees to his chest, bites his palm. of course, of course, of course echoes in his mind.
the door clicks shut and he lets himself cry. neil was right, his headache had only been getting worse. a massive part of him is being consumed by and overwhelming why? whats wrong with me why am i reacting like this what am i even reacting to why am i even crying why did i ask him to stay -- and he barely hears the door click again.
he sits up when he hears footsteps approaching, and neil sits down next to him, handing him a glass. thanks, he says.
neil's watching him, and todd wishes he'd do something else. pull him into a hug or put his hand on his shoulder, ask are you okay? or did the water help? do you need anything else? or maybe put his hand on his face again. but instead he just sits there. maybe he's waiting for todd to make the next move. it's out of character. maybe he thinks he did something wrong.
after a few minutes, todd's breathing steadily again.
neil silently offers to take the glass, which todd accepts, handing it over and watching as neil leaves his side to set it on his desk.
well. he starts, quietly, and todd aches, again, for him to do something more. lean over him when he lies down, press the back of his hand to his face and mumble something about how a kiss makes everything better before kissing his forehead, like a mother, or maybe his mouth, softly, like a lover.
but he doesn't do any of that. instead, he says, well. you should try and sleep.
todd nods and, after a moment of watching neil watching him, he lies back down. he closes his eyes and listens as neil walks over and sits down beside him again. there's no way he'll be falling asleep anytime soon, with the sun in his eyes but mostly on neil, so he throws an arm over his head.
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elliesguitarstrings · 3 years
Note
Ok ok ok so how about this! Reader is scared of horror movies and spiders! Like shit scared and Peter constantly teases her about it (her knowing about Spider-Man is up to you). So one day him, reader, mj, Ned are having a sleepover at peters and during the horror movie reader gets scared n screams..and Peter teases her again so she gets hurt and runs to his room. He goes after her to apologise but then tells her not to turn around or something and reader thinks he’s just teasing her again and wants to walk away but then peter just kisses her! Cause there was actually a spider behind her and Peter panicked cause he didn’t want reader to get scared again.
Cue Ned n mj being so happy cause they finally confessed and end up embarrassing Peter.
This is so specific sorry but thank you🥺❤️
this is so cute!!! i wrote this really quickly so sorry if there are some typos :/
~~~~~~~~
“Okay guys, what should we watch?” Peter asks as he crawls out from the makeshift pillow fort in his living room.
You, Ned, MJ, and Peter were all spending the night at his house. Seeing as it’s already the middle of the night and you’re all extremely tired, you decided to watch a movie before you go to bed.
MJ smirks, “We should watch It!” This earns nods of approval from everyone... well everyone except for you.
“Absolutely not!” you deadpan, “I am not watching a scary movie before I go to seep. No way.”
Ned laughs, “Come on Y/N, it’s more funny than scary. Plus it’s not even that scary anyways, you’re such a baby.”
“Am not! I just don’t like scary movies!”
“Y/N, you made me turn off A Bug’s Life because you were too freaked out that the bugs were talking. You’re a baby.” Peter chuckles.
“I just don’t like bugs okay? Sue me!”
“Yeah I’m surprised she still lets you hang around since you’re Spiderman Peter. Hey Y/N did you know he can summon an army of spiders whenever he wants?” Ned jokes.
You’re eyes go wide, “What? Peter is that true? Please tell me that’s a joke.”
“Oh no it’s not a joke, I can control all spiders. Actually, why don’t I get some to come over here right now?”
You shriek, “Nononono! Peter don’t please don’t!”
Ned, Peter, and MJ all burst out laughing. “He can’t actually do that Y/N, he was just being stupid.” MJ giggles.
You breathe out a sigh of relief, though you’re extremely embarrassed. You did just kind of prove their point that you were scared of basically everything. You know that they’re just joking around, but it still hurts your feelings a little.
“You know what,” you announce, “let’s watch It, who cares if it’s scary.”
Peter raises his eyebrows, “Oh, are you sure? We really don’t have to watch it if you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s fine. I want to. Let’s do it.” You don’t actually want to watch it. But you do want to prove your friends wrong. So you’re just going to have to push through for this one.
“Well okay then, guess we’re watching It!” Peter grabs the remote and turns on the movie, crawling back to his spot next to you.
Already you’re hating this. Even the intro has creepy music that puts you on edge. The movie hasn’t even properly started yet and it’s still freaking you out. You snuggle deeper into your spot on the couch and hope that you are able to fall asleep before any of the really scary parts. You figure that nothing super scary will happen in the first ten minutes, so as long as you drift off before then you’re fine.
Unfortunately, you’re very wrong. Not even five minutes into the movie and there’s already a creepy clown pulling a kid into a sewer. You aren’t expecting it, and the jump scare makes you scream. You bury your head in the pillow, trying to get the terrifying image of Pennywise the clown out of your head.
Instead of comforting you or making sure you’re okay, your friends just laugh.
“Hey, guys, maybe we should turn this off I think it’s a little too much for baby Y/N here.” Peter chokes out in between laughs.
“Yeah, maybe we need to turn on a Disney movie instead.” Ned adds.
“I don’t know guys, the villains can be pretty scary, that might even be too much for her!” MJ giggles.
You’ve had enough. You don’t want to spend any more time with your friends tonight if all they’re going to do is make fun of you. You throw your blanket off and stand up from the couch carefully as not to knock the fort down. You quickly crawl out from under it and storm off to Peter’s room leaving your friends in silence. You slam the door shut, but question when you don’t hear it click. You spin around to see Peter holding the door open, staring at you.
“Peter, go away, I don’t want to hear you make fun of me anymore.”
He slips into the room and closes the door behind him. “I’m not here to make fun of you, I promise.” he pauses. “Y/N I’m sorry, we were just trying to poke fun, we weren’t trying to hurt your feelings. Well, at least I wasn’t, I cant speak for Ned and MJ but Im sure they weren’t either.”
“Well it wasn’t funny Peter. I get that you think of me as a baby because I’m scared of everything but I can’t help it. The least you could do is make sure I’m okay.”
“I know, and again I’m really sorry for not doing that. It was stupid of me to make fun of you and I should have just turned on another movie. I hate seeing you hurt and now I can’t even tell you how bad I feel.”
You can tell that he’s being genuine and that he truly feels bad, so you decide to forgive him. He is your best friend after all, he wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you. “It’s okay Pete, that you for apologizing.” you smile.
“Oh thank god. I thought you were gonna be mad at me forever.” He rushes towards you and engulfs you in a big hug, nestling his face in your neck. “I swear it won’t happen again.”
You giggle, “Thank you Pete, but can we please go back out there and watch a different movie?”
He looks up at you, his arms still wrapped around your middle, “Oh, yeah sure.” He pulls away from you slowly and you start to turn around towards the door to head back out until his eyes widen. “DONT TURN AROUND!”
You’re taken aback, staring at Peter with furrowed brows. “Huh?”
He looks at you sternly, “Don’t. Turn. Around.”
You sigh, “Peter come on, we just talked about this. I told you not to make fun of me like that anymore. You promised.”
“I’m not joking. Seriously don’t look behind you.”
“Oh my god Peter you’re too much.” You start to turn around to head back out when he grabs your arm harshly, pulling you towards him. Before you know it, his lips are on yours and his arms are back around your waist.
Holy shit. You’re best friend is kissing you. The boy you’ve liked for years is literally kissing you!
Before you get the chance to really kiss him back, he pulls away. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to do that I just didn’t know how else to make you not turn around so I kissed you and I shouldn’t have done it and now I’ve messed everything up and-”
You cut him off by pressing your lips to his once again, this time truly getting to kiss him. You wrap you arms around his neck with his still snaked around your waist. He pulls you impossibly closer and your lips move in sync, as if they were made for each other. You finally pull away when you run out of breath, your forehead resting against Peter’s.
“Woah.” he whispers.
“Yeah.”
“So I take it that you like me back?” Peter asks.
You giggle, pressing another quick peck on his lips, “Yeah, I’d say so.”
“Awesome.” he pauses, looking behind you at the door. “There’s a spider behind you by the way.”
“What?” you freak out, jumping up and forcing Peter to catch you. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Peter laughs, “I did! But you insisted that I was just joking. So I had to kiss you instead.”
“Oh. Well, sorry about that.”
“Don’t be sorry. I got to kiss you.” Peter smirks causing you to blush. “Can I put you down now so I can take are of this spider?”
“Oh, yeah, sure.”
He captures the spider and throws it out the window, not wanting to kill it. You both walk back to the living room hand in hand to see a giggling Ned and MJ.
“I was wondering how long that was gonna take for you to finally get together.” MJ smirks.
You blush, “How did you-”
“We heard everything, including you screaming about the spider.” Ned laughs.
“Shut up!” you giggle.
“Whatever, just please don’t be making out in our fort while Ned and I are trying to sleep. At least get a room.”
You and Peter blush, but MJ and Ned usher you over into the fort. Peter sits down and you snuggle in his lap, his arms wrapped around you to keep you warm. Much to your chagrin, MJ turns It back on, but Peter’s warmth lulls you to sleep quickly and you miss the majority of the movie, sleeping comfortably in his arms.
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