#and now i just have to kill myself to get through the next two weeks

[urprettylittlething]

In The Shadows

Purge Alternate Universe

Yandere - Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru

A/N - Okayyyy I've been working on this for like a week and it's the longest I've ever written for one thing, I had a shoulder injury which is mostly healed up now during the week which hindered my progress a little because I originally really wanted this to get out nearer Halloween time, but oh well TT at least its here now right? Lmao, but I hope you guys enjoy it, I tried my best and lowkey kind of hate it, I wished I could've done more or something, but if you have any ideas around this for a possible part 2 let me knoww, although no promises ;) Consider this a massive thank you story, I now have over 100 followers and the likes and reblogs and comments, you guys, I'm crying, I love you all so much <333333 I love interacting with you guys and your comments on my stories or in my inbox <3333 you all make my day ilysm <3 :( AND IM SORRY I COULDNT HELP IT, they're kind of really mean so its more harsh yandere than the soft you all wanted :( I couldn't help myself its a purge AU TT, but I promise ill make something softer in the future <33 sorry this is so long omfg, but let me know your thoughts pretty please &lt;3 and if you actually read all of this ily

summary - Another purge night is here and you think your safe and sound, but let your guard down and you'll find yourself bound.

warnings - purge, mentions of 'off screen' murder, actual 'off screen' murder, kind of gore but reader doesn't see it, blood, rope, reader gets tied up, gags?, tape over readers mouth, they're actually kind of really mean lol, especially Geto, descriptions of panic, anxiety, overthinking, stalker situation kind of, swearing, crying, brief hair pulling, if there's any more let me know ml <3

genre - Oneshot

wc - 7.2k

~spelling and grammar fixed already~

Edit - the top photo 6/11/23

The tip tapping of fingers on keys echoed around the silent room. The occasional footfalls of people around her walking up and down. Picking up books to further aid their studying would slip past the music playing in her ears when they were loud enough.

Every time she would hear someone being a little too loud for the library they were in she would glance up and shoot a half-hearted glare their way.

They’d never see her but it was the thought that counted. A barely audible sigh escapes her as she brings a hand up to massage her cold fingertips into the throbbing skin at her temple. 

Nervous nibbling was occupying her teeth and lips, chewing away the flesh and creating tender spots her tongue would soon soothe. 

She’d been staring at the same empty document for two hours now. No more than two sentences she was able to come up with before she’d erase them in a fit of frustration.

Abandoned textbooks lay closed behind her laptop, she’d deemed them no use around thirty minutes in, but she couldn't bring herself to get up and search for better ones. 

She was antsy, not able to focus on her assignment due in a week's time. Her brain was all fogged up, too many thoughts going through her mind and yet she's not able to focus on a single one.

The purge was tonight. March 21st. And it was currently 1pm. 

Why did she even bother to come to the library in the first place? Was she hoping to distract herself even just a little bit before she had to hunker herself down in her dorm for twelve hours? 

Maybe. Yes.

Was it working? Absolutely not.

She was too skittish. Overthinking everything that had the potential of happening later and things that have previously happened. 

‘Someone's not going to come and try to kill me just because I forgot to return their pen that one time, right?’ 

The amusing, albeit a little dark, thought did make the corner of her lips twitch just the smallest amount. 

Taking off her headphones after stopping her music, she closes down her laptop and starts to move it into her bag. 

She spares a quick glance around the few tables next to hers as she stands with the library's books in her arms. Her eyes locked with a man sitting roughly two tables down. Slumped back in his seat.

Gojo Satoru. Bright white and fluffy hair paired with a set of dazzling blue eyes. The ones currently peeking over the tops of his round shades that had slid down his nose as he tucked his head down slightly. 

Sitting in front of him and abstracting her view of Gojo only slightly is who she assumed was Geto Suguru. Two peas in a pod and never seen without the other. The long black and silky strands of hair tied up in a half up bun was a giveaway to who he was as well.

Both of them were originally from Tokyo, Japan. Coming over to America over five years ago. Or at least that's what she’s heard from around the place, not knowing them personally. They were the most popular boys in school when she had joined a little over a year ago and they still held the title strong.

She doesn’t think she's ever really interacted with them. At Least not on any kind of personal level. Sure, maybe from a few friends of friends or passing each other in the hallway and being polite to her upperclassmen, but nothing all that memorable. 

Which is why this prolonged eye contact is sending a very noticeable shiver down her spine. The smallest twitch of a smirk on his face and she was breaking eye contact, gulping down the pooled saliva in her mouth as she turned around and hastily made her way in between the towering bookshelves.

Leaving the library after stacking the books she’d previously taken back on the shelves, she hastily makes her way down the long corridors. Keeping her head down, her hands clutched tight on the strap of her bag. She passes very few people in the hallway.

Even after pushing through the doors and trekking her way to the dorms at the end of the path, there were very few people loitering around outside. Some of the people she passed looked like they could be stoned, not that she could really blame them. Some looked a little too relaxed and happy and some were just trying to get to their destination as quickly as possible. Like her.

As the doors came into view, and then the stairs, she slowly began to relax, her fast pace lessening up. Successfully getting to the safest place she could for when the purge would start. 

It was also a massive relief that her two good friends would be staying with her during the twelve hours of horror. Last time she was by herself there had been multiple scares throughout the night. Nothing too big but something she didn’t think she could handle alone again. 

Reaching her door on the third floor she fiddles with her keys for a few seconds before her door clicks open and she pushes her way inside. Closing the door and locking it again for good measure. 

It was 1:43 pm.

A few minutes after she had arrived back at her dorm did she realize she still needed to pick up some food items. Being a broke student meant she had essentially nothing in her cupboards or her fridge. And if she was ‘hosting for the purge’ this year, it meant she had to stock up at least a little bit. 

‘Imagine trying to hide from a killer and your stomach growls, I think I would just die on the spot.’ She thinks, the smallest smile gracing her face. Humour is usually her way to cope in situations like these. It’s either that or panicking and she’d rather try to save that for the main event.

With a heavy sigh and hesitation weighing her limbs down, she slowly puts her shoes and jacket back on. She can make this quick. In and out. Easy peasy. 

With a quick jump while shaking her limbs out to get rid of her last minute hesitation, she quickly opens her door and steps out before shutting it behind her. No going back now. Locking the door behind her, she starts making her way back down the stairs and out the doors, walking in the direction of the food store. 

Her nerves were still playing up though, eyes darting this way and that as if trying to find a reason for her to panic. ‘It’s okay, the purge hasn’t started yet, all those things are still illegal.’ Is what she keeps telling herself while taking a deep breath. But the fact they won’t be in a few hours was still cause for some panic. 

Arriving at the store, she wizzes around, collecting any good looking snack and throwing it in her basket before hastily paying and leaving. The heavy plastic carrier bag hanging from her fingers gave her reason to think she went a bit overboard. 

Her quickened steps and accelerated breathing were all she could hear for a while. Her walk back to her dorm was supposed to be a quiet one, less and less people were loitering around meaning less and less noises to distract her. 

Especially from the new set of footsteps that have appeared behind her.

As soon as her mind clocked the extra set of footsteps there, it went into overdrive. ‘Who is that? Are they following me? No, you're being delusional, they're just trying to get back home. But are they? They just appeared out of nowhere. Are they going to try and kidnap me? Rape me? Stuff me in a van? Drag me down a dark alleyway and murder me?’

Her mind was racing, steps quickening and breathing silenced under the new threat. ‘Oh god, what if they’re stalking me? Waiting until the purge starts to come and slaughter me? They’re going to kill me. They’re going to kill me. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?’

And then they were gone. 

It barely registered in her mind that the fast paced footsteps from behind her had vanished. A sharp breath escaped her before her head whipped around on a desperate whim. No one. Not a soul on the path behind her. 

Her shoulders sank with relief and a watery laugh broke free from her trembling lips. ‘I’m losing my mind.’ She thought. Even though that feeling in her gut had faded, it never fully disappeared. Her racing heart never slowed and neither did her footsteps. 

Y/n hurried back to her dorm, almost running through the doors and up the stairs to fumble with her keys and quickly burst in. Double checking she locked the door behind her, and then checking every other lock on her third story apartment. Only when she had made sure they were all secure could she finally relax. 

Her body shivering and hands shaking from the after effects of adrenaline. Her breathing is still a little shaky as she pulls a bunch of pillows and blankets into her tiny living room. Pushing her chair and sofa away to make more space as she lays everything out as neat as she could, making the floor a comfy space for her and her two friends to crash for the purge. 

She empties the snacks from out of the plastic bag and piles them in a nice little corner near the TV. A small stack of movies there for when they’re all waiting for the purge to start. Some cards in a pack were also placed there. 

The three of them are wanting to be as quiet as possible while the purge is going on. Everything locked, curtains drawn, lights off, TV with no volume and only subtitles, quiet games to play in case they got bored, etc. 

They weren’t taking any chances. It was doubtful anything would happen, since nothing really ever did in the dorms. No student here would go as far as murdering somebody, everyone mostly stayed inside, not wanting to risk anything. She only knew of a few people that have snuck out before to rob a few stores, or do some petty revenge like smashing someone's car without getting into trouble.

But overall, it was best to remain quiet. They didn’t want to get murdered because the TV was turned up too loudly and attracted some wrong attention. 

It was 5:15 pm.

This is the time her friends arrived. Knocking some made up code on the slab of wood before messaging just for good measure that it was really them outside. 

After unlocking the door and letting her two good friends inside her dorm she swiftly closes and locks it again. Relieved greetings transpire as well as nervous whispers about the purge and some small gossip of who they think would actually go out this year and who are likely to stay inside. 

The three of them start to make their way around her dorm, closing all the curtains and double checking the locks on all the windows and doors. Especially the balcony and front door. 

After they’ve secured the apartment, they turn off all the necessary lights, flicking on a few electrical lanterns and setting them up around the living room, but away from the windows. They’ve left one lantern in the bathroom and one in her bedroom, both turned off, just in case of emergencies.  

The three of them settle in a spread out pile on the blankets she put down in the living room. Some snacks are passed around already and a movie is slotted into the TV, playing as background noise mostly while they talk.

Erica, a sassy but kind of dumb girl, with choppy shoulder length hair that had been bleached and dyed a light green. She's donned in a crop top and sweatpants, comfy.

Don, a friendly giant, very kind in nature but also a little muscly. He has short black hair and a sculpted jawline. He also came in sweatpants and a baggy white T-shirt, also comfy.

Her two very good, and only, friends here. They’re in a few of her classes and all regularly hang out together. 

“So,” Erica begins after her mouthful of powdered donut. “Who do you think is going to actually purge tonight? Like, actually actually. My moneys on them two hotties in my class.” She finishes, wiggling her eyebrows..

Don hums around his half empty soda can. “Yeah, honestly I wouldn't be surprised if they did.”

Y/n pipes up, “Wait who?” sitting up against the sofa behind her, getting comfy like she's about to hear the gossip of a lifetime.

“Oh, Em, G! You haven’t heard of it? You’ve seriously been, like, living under a rock or something.” Erica says jokingly. Picking apart pieces of her donut and eating them. 

Don perks up too. “Really? You haven't?” Y/n shakes her head in denial as Don shrugs. “I get it, it’s mostly stayed in our class, hasn’t spread much further than that.” He says before crawling forward and rummaging around for more snacks.

“So get a load of this right!” Erica sits up too after finishing her donut. Waving her hands excitedly as she tells her latest gossip. “You know them two really hot upperclassmen right?” She draws out her ‘really’ and waits patiently at the end of her sentence for the other girl's confirmation. 

When she nods in slight confusion, Erica continues, “There were some major rumours in class that the two of them were late this one day because they were beating someone up. And I don't mean like a few slaps or hair pulling, I mean punches. You know?”

Y/n nods again, this time with furrowed brows and Erica continues, “At first, I didn’t believe it, obviously. But then, the two of them came into class and I swear there were blood stains on their clothes. Blood stains! Not to mention all the plasters and bandages all over their hands! I just had to believe it then! Wouldn’t you?”

After the end of her long rant she slumps back against the front of the sofa and mumbles incoherently to herself shaking her head while pouting.

Don, who had been listening silently, pipes up, “It was true, I was actually there for once.”

Y/n’s eyebrows raise in disbelief at what she had just heard. Fighting, here? She couldn’t help but to doubt it, if only just a little. Stuff like that has never happened here. Or at least while she had been here. It was just unheard of.

And for an attack so vicious to result in blood being drawn, then there must have been somewhat of a good reason for it. That was the conclusion she came to.

“I mean, there had to have been a good reason for it.” Y/n says, “They’re pretty nice people aren't they? It is Gojo and Geto were talking about here, right? They’re really popular here too.” Her eyes darted between her two friends, looking for more answers on this unexpected juicy gossip.

Erica sighs wistfully, “No, it got shut down pretty quick, which I guess is why so little people have heard about it. God, would I pay to see them fight though. Their muscles must have looked amazing.” 

They stop talking about it after that, Don getting distracted by the snacks and whining about how she didn’t get his favourite. Erica smacking him with a few pillows and complaining how he’s getting in the way of her movie she was barely even watching. 

Their playful banter did little to distract from her inner turmoil. A small shiver went down her spine again. The memory from earlier in the library resurfacing in her mind. Gojo staring her down, the creepy walk back from the shops and now learning the two had at the very least helped in injuring someone.

It could just be because it was purge day, but everything was beginning to creep her out and she was overthinking again. ‘What if he wants to attack me next? What if all of those things were connected and someone really was following me home? What if he wants to kill me? What if both of them want to kill me? Have I ever done anything to offend them? I haven’t, have I?’ She knew these were far fetched and ridiculous, but she couldn’t help but think of them anyway.

Her spiralling thoughts were halted when a stray pillow smacked her in the face. “Oops, haha, sorry.” Erica sheepishly apologized, bringing her hand up to smooth down Y/n’s ruffled hair. Don was laughing in the background.  

Y/n was stunned for a few seconds before replying, “Oh, don’t worry. How about we put something else on? This movie is kind of boring.” crawling across the piles of pillows and blankets to reach the stack of movies.

This caught the other two’s attention, eagerly rushing to the stack as well to try and get first pick. Arguing for a few more minutes before settling on a movie they all loved. Snuggling back into their original positions.

This was how the next few hours went before the announcement appeared.

It was 6:59 pm.

At exactly 7 on the dot, the TV went black before turning blue, the government announcing the commencement of the purge. Big bold letters and ‘Emergency Broadcast System’ and ‘This is not a test’ were displayed on the screen.

They were all quiet as it played out. The mood quickly turned sombre.

“Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted.”

Don gulped.

“Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed.”

Erica huffed.

“Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours.” 

Y/n shivered.

“Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 am when The Purge concludes.”

She released a shaky breath. The announcement ends with “...A nation reborn.” before stopping. The screen turned black again.

No one moves or says anything. Each of them were frozen in an array of emotions. Fear being the most prominent. 

The silence stretched on for minutes. Eerie in its wake, not even being able to hear other people in their dorm rooms like she normally would.

Eventually, after releasing another shaky breath and rearranging herself with trembling limbs, they all snap back into the present. 

Don coughs and Erica shuffles awkwardly. 

“Cards, anyone?” Y/n meekly speaks up. The other two nod as they sit in a small circle. 

It was 7:36 pm.

This was when the first explosion of some kind was heard by them. Each of them froze in the middle of playing their mostly silent game of cards. The noise was distant, but the impact remained.

A scream from a few doors down echoed in the silent space.

They waited with baited breath for any follow up, but when nothing happened, they slowly relaxed. Each of them assumed it was the explosion that must have scared someone. Sometimes it’s better to think of the positive, rather than what that scream could have been for.

A few minutes later a siren bellows in the distance, a few car alarms wail.

Nothing too bad, but knowing that it could mean someone was being murdered out there didn’t give them any ease.

It was 8:02 pm. 

This is when the banging starts. Y/n thinks it could be a few doors down again. Erica thinks it’s below them and Don thinks it’s above them. 

Wherever it was, it was concerning. 

Erica releases a small nervous chuckle. “Maybe someone is just having a good time?” A fake smile plastered on her face to try and mask her worry. Even she didn’t believe her little theory. Not during a time like this, during The Purge.

It was a few minutes later, after they had quietly resumed their game, that footsteps were heard.

Clacking down the hallway. 

1, 2.

1, 2. 

1, 2. 

1, 2. 

They were walking at a leisurely pace. Taking their time. Strolling down the hallway and getting closer and closer.

All three of them looked towards the door, as if someone were to burst in at any moment.

The footsteps slow before coming to a stop. Right outside her door.

The three of them hold their breath, bodies flinching when a light knock rings out into the open space.

Complete silence.

Another knock.

None of them had even noticed the earlier noises had stopped, too focused on the potential threat now right outside the door. Seemingly wanting someone to open up.

Three pairs of eyes dart between each other. Silent questions trying to push their way out without being heard. A few panicked half shrugs and furrowed brows with downturned lips later, another knock rings out.

This time it was a little louder.

Barely audible whisperings of ‘you go’, ‘no you’, ‘fuck no’, ‘who even is it?’ cut through the silence. No one wanted to ask the question. To even speak a hint of it lest it result in it coming true.

Eventually after a solid minute of panicked, almost silent, squabbling later. A frustrated and frightened Erica pushed herself up. Taking a very obvious deep breath. Eyes closed and silently mumbling to herself before taking a few steps over to the front door.

She tried to be as quiet as she could but each step sounded like it weighed a ton. Every creek and every wobble made to sound the loudest. 

Very quietly bracing her hands upon the door, she leant up on her tiptoes. Peeking into the peephole positioned in the centre of the door.

The two left in the pile of blankets still. Not wanting to even breathe in fear of disturbing whatever was happening in front of them.

A sudden screech of pure panic and fear tore from Erica’s throat. Flailing before landing with a harsh thud on the floor beneath her. Scrambling backwards on her hands and feet, keeping her eyes on the door the entire time.

The two startle and immediately jump up, laboured breathing hindering their lungs from the sudden scare.

“What the fuck? Erica what happened? What was that?” Don frantically whispered. His eyes were also locked on the door. 

Y/n also whispered to her, “Who was that? Erica?” her eyes locked onto her friend, not able to bring herself to look at the door yet.

“It was.. Oh god.. The peep..” Erica wheezed out. The fright took too much out of her with her frantic gasps for air.

A sudden bang echoed into the room. A few more followed before they all realized it was coming from the front door. 

Erica screeched and threw herself back into a standing position, rushing for the kitchen and grabbing any sharp knife her eyes first laid on.

Don stood frozen in fear. Not able to move or barely breathe from the looks of it.

Y/n wasn’t any better herself. Downright terrified. This was her dorm. Her dorm. Which means whoever was outside, was looking for her.

The banging persisted, the person on the other side seemingly determined to get in. This proved correct when the handle started turning whichever way it could. 

She didn’t even realize, terror clouding her senses because when she looked back to her two friends, Don had collapsed into himself, wheezing with little air entering his lungs amidst his panic. Erica was cornered in the kitchen, sobbing, tears flooding her cheeks and ruining her mascara she had in place.

The persistent banging stopped for a second. The faint sound of another pair of footsteps approached from the hallway outside. Muffled talking pursued but it was hard to make anything out, between her pounding heart, Erica’s sobs and the slab of wood in the way, didn’t make for easy hearing.

For Y/n, it seemed there was one second of complete silence. No sobbing, no voices, no distant alarms or explosions, no racing heart, no wheezing lungs. Before chaos sprung onto them.

Suddenly the people outside, because there was another person now, resumed banging on the door. But it didn’t seem like they were ‘just knocking’ anymore. No.

They were trying to break the door down. 

She could see it from the way the door groaned and creaked under the relentless kicking. She couldn't quite tell if they were using their feet, or an object, or whatever. 

All that mattered was that they were trying to get in. And they were going to succeed.

“Move! Hide! We need to hide!” She whisper-yelled. Rushing to Don and tugging on his arm to try and get him to move. He stared at her for a few seconds before his brain caught up, registering what was happening around him. The real danger he was in right now.

“Hide.. Oh god..” He panted, sprinting for the bathroom, the first place his eyes had landed on.

With Don now searching for a place to hide, she ran her way to Erica. Still trying to be as quiet as she could, in the little hopes that they would think she wasn’t here.

“Erica, we need to hide! They’re getting in!” She frantically whispered to her hyperventilating friend. Trying to shake her shoulders, even resorting to lightly slapping her face to try and get her attention. She was desperate.

“Please!” The sound of splintering caught both of their attention. Heads whipping towards the door starting to cave. She wasn’t all that surprised, that slab of wood was a shitty excuse for a door anyway.

Erica suddenly sprung up and dove for the piles of blankets in the living room. Trying to bury herself amongst them, taking the knife with her.

And now that all her friends had been taken care of, she ran for her bedroom. Trying her best not to stumble and fall in the dark hallway. 

As soon as her door came into sight, she gently opened it, gunning for her wardrobe tucked into the corner of the room. Not even looking towards the turned off lantern, she didn’t need them knowing her hiding spot from something so obvious. 

It was already messy anyway, so in her frazzled brain she didn’t bother caring where she tossed piles of clothes and shoes in her room.. They’d hopefully think it was like that in the first place.

After quickly clearing a space big enough for her to curl into, she did just that. Situating herself just right, back pressed against the side of the wardrobe, knees tucked to her chest and pressed against the boxes in front of her. She was sitting on old shirts she hadn’t seen for months.

Hearing the door breaking even further, she grabbed any clothes within her reach and threw them over herself. Shutting the door when she was mostly covered, she could have sworn she could hear laughter coming from the hallway.

A loud crash and splintering tore through the air. She knew it was her front door. And now they were inside. 

Her hands slowly went up to cup around her mouth, trying to muffle her breathing as much as she could. Her body froze. Even when she already began to feel muscle cramps settling in, she dared not move. She forced herself to breathe slowly. Every inhale a struggle along with a reminder that she was still alive at this very moment. Even if she was convinced she wouldn’t be for much longer. 

The thought brought tears to her eyes. The original shock wears from her body and settles into something akin to despair. 

Her throat started clamping up, muscles seizing and throbbing with the need to cry. 

It was the thudding of footsteps that shook her out of it. Snapping her half way back into a nightmarish reality. 

She gulped. Closing her eyes and straining her ears for any information they were willing to receive.

Just as she thought. Two pairs of footsteps. 

With every thud of a shoe or a spike in their muffled talking, her body would tremble. 

It remained like this for a few more minutes. The footsteps or talking occasionally pausing. 

It was during one of these silences, where a different sound was heard. She couldn’t identify the exact sounds, just ones of commotion. They were still all muffled. And then she heard muffled yelling. 

It sounded so dulled, between the walls and layers of wood and clothes, she could barely make out anything, her ears straining for any hint as to what was happening. Being left in the dark like this, literally and figuratively, was terrifying her. 

And then this horrible, awful noise carried its way between the cracks in the wardrobe. Crunching. Cracking. Stomps. 

That muffled yelling from before kept getting cut off. Eventually dwindling down into a barely audible groan. Those thuds never seemed to stop either. Never ending, crunching, cracking, and now wet thuds. 

Her brain was trying its hardest to process, to catch up with the information that it has been provided with. 

More footsteps, only one pair, accompanied with muffled laughter. And a more distinct sound traveling through the air. 

A scream.

Even more laughter, hurried footsteps and pleas of ‘no’, ‘please’, ‘don’ts’. 

It was now, with the wet stomps still in the background, her screeching friend, that eager laugh, that her brain had finally caught up.

She was going to be sick.

They’re hurting them. Killing them.

Her friends.

Her body moved out of its own violation. Shaky hands and feet kicking and pushing their way out of the pile of clothes. Wardrobe door swinging open with a creak.

She collapsed out of it. Slumped on the floor, dry heaving. Her lungs not seeming to take enough air in but yet holding in too much. She couldn’t function. Fear overwhelmed every part of her. As well as grief. 

Her ears were ringing and she was left gasping, drool dripping onto the hard floor beneath her as a result of her attempted vomiting. Eyes wide open, blurry when she tapped back into her mind. 

Tears, clouding her vision and dripping audibly on the floorboards below her. 

In the distance she could hear muffled talking. Two men, she could make out more clearly. Not only that, but squelching, wet, gooey noises seemed to mingle in the air. Gurgling was the next before silence.

A minute passed, maybe two before the footsteps started up again. Those goddamn footsteps. 

1.. 2.

1.. 2.

1.. 2.

But they were slower than before. Steady. Taking their time. 

And getting closer.

Her instincts kick in, blinking profusely to try and clear her eyes from the tears, looking up and darting around before landing on the space under her bed.

She wouldn’t have enough time to fix her spot back in the wardrobe. She couldn’t run past them, not even in her best state which she certainly wasn’t in right now. She had considered her bedroom window as an option, but it was locked, which would take time to open. Not even mentioning the fact she was on the third floor, so jumping out would break at least something important. They would be quick to notice as well, and if they came for her, it was likely they would decide to chase her down.

Under her bed seemed to be her best option at the moment, and she was running out of time. Scrambling as quietly as she could, she slid herself directly under her bed, trying to center herself in the middle of it, tucking herself into a tight ball.

The footsteps stopped right outside her bedroom door, she had enough sense to shut it on her way in, thank god. But that clearly wouldn’t be enough to stop them. 

Almost as if the person was teasing her, they slowly clicked the door open. The distinct creak she had grown accustomed to over the months making itself known. 

Her muscles are tense, tightening in the presence of her predators. 

In the dark space from under her bed and in her room, it was obvious when the light from inside the hallway started spilling in the more the door got pushed open. In the vague depths of her mind it registered that they must’ve either turned the hall lights on, had taken one of her lanterns,  or were carrying one of their own.

Her lungs were burning with the effort to keep her body running with the little air she was allowing them to have, all for the sake of trying to keep quiet.

It was all too silent once again, only for a second or two before the second pair of footsteps came towards her. A lot more hasty compared to the other ones. 

Her breath silently hitched, the new person pushed their way into the room, stepping past their company before a thunk was heard. The sound forced her body to startle, jolting her muscles and kick starting her trembling again. An uncontrollable reaction to the fear she was under, the unrelenting motions causing a deep ache in her ribs.

The sound of rustling was now heard. It seemed they were looking for something. ‘They’re going to kill me. They’re digging around for a weapon to stab me with, to bash my head in, to murder me like they did my friends. I’m dead. I’m dead, I’mdeadI’mdeadI’mdead-’

Her racing thoughts consuming her fear riddled mind failed in picking up the sound of the other pair of footsteps slowly creeping round to the end of her bed. 

The person paused, silently crouching down low before a pair of hands reached under.

The sudden tight grip on her ankles followed up by the sudden pull had her screeching. Pure terror flooding her veins. She had been yanked out from under her bed, lying sprawled on the floor and gazing up at the towering man stationed above her. 

Her lungs burned, seizing up before a sickening scream escaped her. Fuelled by genuine, unrestrained horror. 

They had found her.

One of her lanterns they had brought in illuminated his face in a haunting light. The darkened shadows stretching and contorting behind him to create the most grim image for her mind to paint. Not that it was far off.

A foot standing on either side of her hips, straddling her if it wasn’t for his standing position. Hands nestled comfortably back in his trouser pockets now they had done the job of retrieving her. A comfortable looking long-sleeved shirt adorned his figure. Dark splatters starting from the bottom of his shoes and creeping their way up his legs, tapering off into a few spots that painted one of his cheeks.

An easy smile softly ingrained on his face, followed by gentle looking eyes peering down at her if it wasn’t for the malicious spiral she found herself paralyzed in. Dark locks of hair extended down his back, past where she could see from her position, with the top layers sectioned off and tied back into a bun.

His mouth opened and he spoke. “Well, well. Look what I’ve caught for us Satoru.”

Satoru. The other man must be Satoru Gojo, and this was Suguru. Suguru Geto. The most popular guys she knew, the supposedly kindest. And then staring in the library, the walk back from the shops, the gossip her most likely dead friend had told her.

Her body suddenly felt like it was pumped full of adrenaline. Pushing herself up as fast as she could, using the bed as support all the while stumbling over her numb riddled legs. She took off, running towards the open door she so desperately wanted to pass through. 

A sudden arm snatched her from around her waist and she screeched. Pure instinct driving her at this point as she scratched and kicked and flailed in his, Satoru Gojo’s, hold.

The sound of something dropping before his other arm came round, collecting both her wrists in one hand of his. His grip tightened the more she fought. Her body pressed tight against his, her back to his front. His head situated itself on her shoulder, tucking over and pressing his cheek to hers even while she cried and panted and kicked.

She could feel his grin pressing against the side of her face. “Such a pretty little thing we have here. Can’t let her get away so easily now, can we? Not after all the trouble we’ve gone through.” The last part practically whispered into her ear as she turned her face as far away as possible from him. 

A little laugh boasted out from Geto. “Of course not.” He strolled over to them, bending down to pick up what Gojo had dropped in order to restrain her.

Rope.

Fucking rope.

The moment her eyes zoned in and processed what Geto was unravelling in his hands she tried to fight back even harder. Eyes flooding with tears that spilled down her cheeks. Short mumblings of ‘no’ being repeated over and over while becoming louder until she was yelling. 

“Please don’t do this! Let me go! Please, please.. Stop!” She shrieked while sobbing, convinced they were going to kill her or torture her or something horrible like that.

Gojo walked the two of them to the edge of her bed before forcefully pushing her down, manhandling her onto her front and bending her arms to rest pressing against her back.  

She sobbed into her ruffled sheets as she felt Geto fastening the rope tight around her wrists, the rough material digging into and pinching the sensitive skin. Raw and red marks already forming amidst her struggle. 

Her legs still hung off the bed, trying their best to kick and hopefully injure one or both of them, but she knew it was a losing battle. None of her landing blows made them falter in any way.

When her wrists were successfully restrained Geto kept them pressed to the small of her back while Gojo let go and reached down to grab her ankles. Pulling them up and bending her legs at the knees while they both worked in finishing the task of tying her up.

When they finally stepped back to admire the work they’d successfully done, Y/n deflated. Tears soaking into her bed in which she rested on top of. Her lungs still burned, having never stopped. The hogtied position she had been forced into leaving her nothing to work with in terms of escaping. Not that she could think clearly anyway. The distress she was under proved too much.

“Oh, Shh Sh Sh… There, there, sweet thing. Settle down for us now. We aren’t going to kill you.” Cooed, who she could only guess right now was Gojo.

Geto reached forward from his position of kneeling on the bed, gentle soothing pets stroking her hair. Her sobbing tapering off into hiccupped breathing even while flinching with every touch. “There you go, good girl. See that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

He pulled away from her, stepping down off the bed and heading towards the previously discarded bag on the floor Y/n hadn’t noticed before..

Y/n slowly turned her head round, no longer pressed into her sheets. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, swollen from all the crying she’d been doing. Little hiccups and groans left her while her lungs tried to recover. She’d given up struggling right now, it had done nothing but cause her pain as the rope dug and squeezed the skin of her wrists and ankles. 

Gojo piped up from behind her, only now feeling the heat from his legs pressing into hers causing her to flinch. “You know, this would’ve gone a whole lot easier if you had just let us in sweetheart.” She could practically hear the smug smile in his voice. “Look at where you are now, tied up all pretty for us. Ripe for the taking.” He pressed closer to her at that, voice practically dripping with need. 

She whined in fear and started squirming at his words. Panic flooding her senses again for just a second before a sharp tug to her hair had her yelping, halting her movements.

“I thought I told you to quit that.” Geto was back to kneeling on the bed in front of her, his hand gripping tight onto her hair, eyes narrowed. 

Her bottom lip trembled, breaths picking up with every second he glared down at her. 

“Don’t be so mean, Sugu.” Gojo said, a teasing lilt in his voice. 

Geto glanced back at him before humming and letting go of his harsh grip, her scalp burning in turn. “I suppose you’re right. She’ll have plenty of time to learn when we take her back home.”

Gojo hummed and she felt him leaning away from her, hearing him crouch down and fiddle with something from the bag as well. 

“Back home?..” She stuttered, voice hoarse and throat dry.

Geto looked back down at her, amusement painting his face. “Yes. Home.”

“Where..” She started, face formed in a twist of concern and confusion. “Please.. I.. Just let me go. I won’t- I won’t tell anyone, I’ll- I’ll leave you alone, I’ll do anything, please..” She gasped out, tears gathered freshly in her eyes again, voice cracking every few seconds. 

An amused eyebrow raised with the hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth was all she got as a response. 

Gojo had come back, reaching round and fastening a strip of duct tape around her mouth in a sudden flurry of movement. Giving her no time to process what he had done until after he had done it. 

She cried out, the sound muffled thanks to the tape, worried eyes darting around in panic as she tried squirming again for the third time. 

Gojo pressed up behind her once again. “You’re not going anywhere, sweet pea! You’re ours now. We’ve had you picked out for a long time now.” The joy in his voice didn’t fail to put her on edge, his words doing their part in helping the tears gathered in her waterline to finally spill down her cheeks. Wetting the tape situated over her lips.

“He’s right.” Geto replied. Bringing one of his hands up to show what he had collected from the bag a few moments ago. The mobile phone in his hands glowed brightly in the dark room, the lamp from before having been moved, the light now dim.

“We’ll bring you back with us soon enough, but we still have a few more hours to kill before that. And why waste them.” Gojo said, the grin in his voice unsettling her, keeping her frozen in fear.

An easy smile pulled at Geto’s cheeks at that, head tilting to the side to gaze down at their pretty prey. 

“Well what are you waiting for then, Satoru?”

A pause. Smile pulling into a predatory grin.

“Have at it.”

#geto x reader #gojo x reader #geto suguru #gojo saturo #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere geto #yandere geto suguru #yandere gojo #yandere gojo satoru #yandere gojo x reader #yandere geto x reader

[runningfrom2am]

leveling the playing field IX

summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.6k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there

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a/n: here we are!! 'season' two!! thanks so much for reading it and I'm SO so glad lots of people seem to love it :) if you do, please reblog it or leave your thoughts in the replies or in my inbox! i love hearing from you and talking about it so don't be a stranger !

without further adieu,, enter buzzcut coryo <3

next part

Coriolanus's stomach twisted as he could hear your screams from the hall, even though by then he was all the way on the other side of the school. He thought that was unsettling, only for them to abruptly stop just before he left. The silence that followed was so much worse. He didn't get any sleep, sitting on the roof in Grandma'ams rose garden with Tigris all night, wondering if you were dead.

He was just sick about it, even as he left the following morning, so early that the sun was yet to rise. It was a long, painful ride, and he spent the entire thing certain that you were dead. It was his fault, he had only wanted you to come with him, so he wouldn't be alone, but now he truly is alone and he won't even have you to write to back home. Regardless, he would try.

Rather than sit with the idea that it might even be pointless for him to live another day, especially with this unflattering haircut and a uniform that challenged the discomfort of the academy one, he decided to write to you on a paper he had found bunched between the train seats to ease his mind.

Y/N/N,

I hope you're reading this. I hope this gets back to you at home and finds you safe and sound, and you're sitting over your desk with a textbook open getting ready for university in the fall. That's not what's happening though, is it? You're probably dead. I probably killed you. If you are reading this in your room, or your library, or over my shoulder as I write this because you are only alive in what's left of your spirit, I hope you know that I am sorry. I did it because I wanted you with me, because in the moment I was so sure you'd be better off with me in the districts than you would be at home with your father. I think I was wrong. But I still miss you. You meant more to me than I ever told you. I guess, more than I ever told myself either until these last few weeks.

I think I heard them kill you after I left you with the Dean. If they did, boy, did you go out fighting. I always knew you would. I can't stop writing in case I never get to speak to you again. But again, maybe you're not dead, right?

Please tell me you're not dead.

Yours,

Always yours, your Coryo

He smoothes out the wrinkled sheet as he writes, hand shaking through most of it. He doesn't know if he should even bother sending it, or if he should just fold it up and throw it out the window in hopes that the message will find its way to your ghost. No, he has to send it. Otherwise he'll definitely never know, at least not for twenty years, and he couldn't bear that.

The wind hits the trees into the windows of the train as it rolls along the tracks, demanding that the branches be heard against the glass. It reminds him of you. Then again, what doesn't these days? Maybe it was just you letting him know you had read his letter, and that you forgive him. That would give him a semblance of peace for the rest of the ride.

When you woke up, it was impossible to tell what time it was. You only knew that it was dark, and your bedroom door was locked from the outside when you got up and carefully tried to open it only to be blocked by the mechanism.

"I have half the mind to agree with you on the Avox thing." You hear your dad sigh, his voice echoing from his study just down the hall. Your eyes widen and you try the knob again. Yep, still locked. "But we could always send her to Nine or Ten as a nurse. She's not staying here, that's certain."

"I don't want to push your decision, here, but she was saying she would tell everyone. She knows more than we thought, more details." Highbottom was here too, great.

"No, that's impossible. What did she say?"

"She knows we're selling, likely that you're storing it all here somewhere, and she knows it's enough to be treason. I don't know what else she knows, but it's risky business ever letting her out of that room again. The procedure might be our best option, here." You've heard enough, quickly making for your window instead. It's locked as well, but draping your old uniform over the lever gives you enough freedom to crush it with a particularly heavy, hardcover textbook without making much noise.

You change quickly, grabbing a few essentials that you could fit into your book bag, then climb out the window and slide down the back porch column before making as quiet of an escape as possible. Adrenaline carried you a few blocks away, but now, you were unsure what to do. You couldn't return, and you couldn't be seen, and you had a tragic shortage of friends at the moment. You find your feet carrying you toward the building you know Coriolanus lives in.

You're not particularly excited to see him, but with no other options, you're sure you can find it in yourself to be forgiving just this once. You could go to Sejanus's family home, but it's not far enough away, and you're not sure what his father would say. He'd probably call your dad in a second and it would all be for naught- you couldn't risk it. So, Coryo's it was.

You enter the building, walking straight for the elevator. He was in the penthouse, so you just have to hit the very top button and figure it out from there. You've never been to his home before, but he's talked about it plenty. Enough that you could find your way there, at least.

You groan when you quickly realize the elevator doesn't work, looking over at the stairs. It's a tall building, so you've got a long way to go. You wonder how he does this every day as you climb up set after set of stairs, taking note of how the walls are basically crumbling around you.

You knew he didn't have money, that he couldn't eat, but you didn't think he lived like this. No wonder he was so thin, and no wonder he still had any muscle left on his body. It was these damn stairs. That couldn't be it though, that wouldn't explain how his shoulders just seemed to go on for miles- maybe he had some kind of workout routine you never knew about.

You're drawn from your thoughts when you reach the top of the last staircase, hesitating to open the industrial looking door in front of you. Just beyond that was the front door to the Snow penthouse, and now that you're here, you're not sure what to do. Do you knock? You don't even know what time it is.

You sit by the door, deciding to think it over for a bit. It doesn't take you long to fall asleep leaning up against the wall where it meets the dusty floor.

Waking up, you're met with a gasp. "Y/N?" You blink open your eyes, seeing Tigris crouched in front of you, forehead creased with worry. "Are you okay? What are you doing here?"

"Tigris, hello." You mumble, gathering yourself to stand up as she helps you. "I, uh, I didn't know where to go, so..."

"Okay, okay. Come in for a second." She nods, holding your shoulder as she guides you back into the apartment. You squint at the sunrise through the large bay windows, she must have been on her way to work. "Can I get you anything? Some tea? You must be freezing..." She says, immediately shuffling into the kitchen.

"No, no. It's fine. Thank you, though." You insist, trying not to stare at the state the apartment has fallen into.

"Okay, well, please, take a seat. Tell me what's going on."

You nod slightly and move to sit down at their dining table where she joins you, reaching out for your hand which you gratefully take. "Did Coriolanus leave already?" You ask and she nods, giving you a sad smile.

"I must admit, I'm relieved to see you." She says, taking you by surprise. "Coryo thought you were dead. He was just so torn up about it, he said it was his fault but he wouldn't tell me why. I was expecting to see your passing in the papers this morning."

"Well, my days are numbered." You sigh, looking out the window again. The view was stunning. Maybe you would prefer a penthouse to your own large, empty feeling home. "My father and Dean Highbottom were discussing turning me into an Avox as a pity punishment, and I don't doubt that my father would rather bury me than have that on his name. I didn't stick around to hear their decision."

Tigris listens intently, squeezing your cold hands between her own. "And now, I don't know what to do. I had nowhere to go, I'm so sorry to intrude-"

"No, my goodness, please. You are always welcome here." She assured you. "But... what will you do?"

"I have to leave." You nod to yourself. "I have to leave and I can't come back, can I?"

"One day I'm sure it will be safe for you to return." She says, notably trying to put a positive spin on it. "I'll tell you what-" She stands quickly, going over to a hall closet and pulling out a large fur coat. "Take this, it can hide you and keep you warm. Take the next train to Twelve, that's where Coryo went." She places the coat in your lap. "He'll be ecstatic to have you and see that you're well."

You nod, standing up and pulling it on in a hurry. It was a beautiful coat, you could tell it was real fur. This must have belonged to one of their mothers. "Thank you, Tigris."

"There's another train headed there in about twenty minutes, if you rush you can make it. I had to check the schedule last night for him. Don't buy a ticket, just climb in a transport car from the opposite side, not the platform." She instructs you hurriedly,

You dig in your bag as you both head for the door, pulling out a handful of money and rifling through it to give some to her. You'll need some, but she will too.

"Here, Tigris. Take this." You say as she holds the door for you, and she instantly is shaking her head.

"No, no. I couldn't." She smiles awkwardly, waving a hand at you. "You'll need it more than I do, Coryo will be sending us cheques."

You smile at her understandingly, holding it out to her again. "If not for your help, then for this lovely jacket. Please take it. I insist."

Tigris sighs, taking it from your hand before pulling you into a hug which you gladly return. "Tell him we love him, okay?"

"He knows," You say, chin resting on her shoulder. "But I will."

It was dark again when your train reached its final stop, and you were curled up under the coat trying to sleep. You scramble to get up, having to bolt from the train before anyone came to unload the car.

Unfortunately, you didn't get the privilege of having a place to stay when you arrived, so once you're out of sight of the train, the best you can do is wander.

You don't have to wander long before you hear music. You didn't realize people were happy here, so the sounds of laughter and shouting and dancing coming from inside what looked to be an abandoned building made you tilt your head at the idea. Maybe you would just sit outside, around the side of the building where you won't be seen and you can listen.

You don't even get the chance to sit before you hear the singing start. It's Lucy Gray. You mentally scold yourself for not thinking of her sooner as you stand again quickly, finding yourself quite lightheaded. You must be hungry. Maybe there will be some food inside, or maybe you can find talk to Lucy Gray and maybe she'll let you stay with her. Just until you get yourself situated here.

Clutching your new coat tightly around yourself you walk in after attempting to dust off and salvage your clothes. Your favourite skirt and shoes took quite a beating throughout the day, and you're disappointed, to say the least. Hopefully Lucy Gray has a washing machine, but you doubt it. Did these people even know what a washing machine is? By the look of everyone in the room, the answer was a definite no.

Sure enough, Lucy Gray was on stage, singing her heart out. You had never seen her smile so wide, of course, and the kids surrounding her onstage were just as talented as she was at all their instruments. You've never seen live music like this before, only classical or opera where everyone sat quietly and listened until the end. This environment was entirely new to you.

Not wanting to interrupt, you wait until Lucy Gray steps offstage and her spot is replaced with a little blonde girl who couldn't have been older than ten.

"Give it up for the amazing Lucy Gray Baird!" The girl shouts into the mic, gesturing to your friend before more music started to play. "She'll be back, she's just taking a little break, but until then, you lot are stuck listenin' to me."

This is your chance. You push through the crowd and step into the hall you saw Lucy Gray go down. "Lucy Gray?" You call out hopefully, watching your step as to not roll a heel. In hindsight, these shoes were not ideal for the journey you took, but your options were limited by a time crunch.

"Lucy Gray?" You ask again, turning a corner and peeling into a large open room. It's a few moments before your eyes land on her, and she turns to face you having heard you walk in.

"Oh my days, I thought I recognized that voice!" She smiles, opening her arms and running up to you. "Y/N, my word, what are you doin' here?" Her excitement fades quickly into concern as she drops her arms from around you.

"Long story..." You chuckle nervously, pulling at your coat again as she nods for you to continue. "We got caught, for the compact. And the snakes, somehow. Coriolanus put our handkerchiefs that you used in the tank so they wouldn't attack you, I guess. I didn't know. Then they pulled us out of class the next day, he told them it was me, so then I put up a fight and they sedated me. When I woke up I was at home and they were talking about having my tongue cut out and turning me into one of those servants but I'm sure my dad would rather have me dead. So," You sigh, trying to summarize it as quickly as possible. "I ran."

Lucy Gray shook her head, mouth agape in shock at all the information she just took in. "Okay, wait... So they were going to kill you?"

You nod.

"But that teacher of yours seemed so nice."

"Sorry?"

"Yeah, he gave me some money and escorted me into the train himself."

You scoff, shaking your head. "He's never liked either of us, but that's only because I have dirt on him. I don't know what Coryo did."

"Well," Lucy Gray sighs, rubbing your shoulders gently. "I'm glad you're here. That you're safe."

"You too." You smile. "Can I just say, too, we were so proud of you. We were so lucky to be your mentors."

"I count myself the lucky one." She grins. "Let's move on, shall we? On the up and up."

"Yes, sounds lovely." You grin at her.

"Can I get you some water? Liquor? What do you need?" She asks, turning at that and going over to a bench in the middle that had a few water bottles.

"I would love some water." You breathe out, joining her and sitting down as she hands one to you.

"Lucy Gray, could I ask you for a really big favour?" You say after taking your first sip.

"Please." She nods.

"Can I stay with you?"

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#tbosas #tbosas fic #thg series #tbosas x reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coryo snow #thg fanfic #thg fanfiction #thg

[glorystark]

Empty eyes | Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean doesn't take Charlie's death too well and because of the Mark of Cain affecting him, he tells you things that will regret.

Warnings: moc!Dean Winchester, Dean being a dick, minor mentions of injury, swearing, ANGST, major character's death

Pairing: Dean Winchester × reader

Featuring: Sam Winchester

Word count: 2,3k

We watched in agony as Charlie's body, wrapped around a white sheet, burned in the flames. This should never have happened to her kind soul. She died so we could save Dean. I couldn't help but feel guilty; my heart ached because I lost a friend, again. I knew Sam felt the same. We both asked Charlie for help with the Book of the Damned, and we both lied to Dean about the book being destroyed. Now it was too late to make things right. Memories flashed through my eyes, making me tear up. I remembered when she helped us with the Dick situation, or when I taught her some hunter-kind-of-tricks. How happy she was and wouldn't stop thanking me. She didn't deserve this, anyone but her.

“Charlie,” Sam started, grabbing my and probably Dean's attention. “We are gonna miss you. You're the best.” He stopped when his voice cracked, and now I was sure he felt far worse than me because looking back, he suggested not telling Dean about the Book of the Damned not being destroyed, which I didn't agree with at first. But seeing Dean, my Dean, slowly fade away right in front of my eyes changed my opinion. Maybe it was selfish, me and Sam both were. But we couldn't let Dean become something he fears, a Monster. We couldn't lose another person, another family member, but we didn't realize who we were putting in danger on this path.

“We love you, Charlie, and I'm so sorry,” I said, blinking through tears.

“Shut up,” Dean said coldly, making Sam and me look at him. “You got her killed. You don't get to apologize.” He continued.

“Dean-“ Sam started, but Dean cut him off.

“You too, you two are the reason she is dead,” he said, not taking his eyes off the flames.

“We were trying to help you,” I said, still looking at him.

“I didn't need help,” he said bitterly. "I told you to leave it alone.”

“What were we supposed to do, just watch you die?” Sam asked, not letting me be the only one receiving the cold tone from his older brother.

“The mark isn't gonna kill me.”

“Maybe not, but when it's done with you, you won't be you anymore,” I stated. “Dean, you're all we got. So of course we were gonna fight for you because that's what we do,” I said softly.

“Yeah, she's right, we had a shot-“ Sam was cut off again by Dean.

“Yeah, you had a shot. Charlie is dead.” He finally turned his head to look at me and his brother, who was standing next to me. His dark emerald eyes bore into mine, and I couldn't recognize them. Never have I ever seen him look at me with those eyes. Because no matter how much crap we went through, he always made sure I was fine, and his eyes held nothing but sweetness and, on most occasions, worry. “Nice shot.”

“Are you even listening to me? You think I'm ever gonna forgive myself for that?!” I snapped, not being able to keep my voice down anymore. He is grieving, but so am I. If I could, I would trade places with her.

“You know what I think,” he started, still with the same voice tone. “I think it should be you up there and not her.”

I felt my heart break for the hundredth time today. I parted my lips, not taking my teary eyes off him, which clearly showed how hurt I was. Sam let out a small gasp and widened his eyes after he heard Dean's words, clearly not expecting his brother to go that far.

I knew he blamed me, probably even more than Sam. But knowing that he wanted me dead hurt more than any physical torture I've experienced.

Sam called his name, still shocked after what he heard, but his brother just walked away, breaking my heart more and more.

—————

It has been a week since I lost Charlie, since I lost my Dean. He has been searching for the Stynes ever since but has been having a bit of trouble finding their location. So meanwhile, he went on a few solo hunts. He hasn't said a word to me and to Sam, just a few like ‘buy some beers’ ‘did you find anything about the Stynes’.

He found another hunt for today and was packing his bag in his own room. We both haven't stepped in our shared room ever since the accident, which meant we weren't even sleeping on the same bed. I'm done with being ignored, so I knocked on his door and opened it without waiting for any response. He didn't even turn around, probably knowing it was me.

“Dean,” I called his name, not even knowing what I wanna talk about, but getting him to look at me was the first step. “Dean,” I called, this time louder, and when he still didn't turn around, I walked towards him and grabbed his arm. “Alright, I'm done. When will you finally stop ignoring me?!”

He looked at my hand, which was grabbing his arm, and slowly turned around, finally looking at my face. “I'm not ignoring you, I just don't want to talk to you or be near you,” he said bitterly, pulling his arm away and reaching for his door.

“Dean, you know you're not the only one who lost someone, okay? And believe me, I know it's my fault she's gone, and I'll never forgive myself for that. But, god, you're practically killing me. I miss you,” I said desperately, waiting for something in his eyes to change, waiting for him to embrace me in his strong arms, but... Nothing. His eyes didn't even hold hatred anymore, just emptiness.

“I don't know what you expect me to say, ‘I'm sorry you were so stupid’ ‘I'm sorry you got another person killed off’ ‘I'm sorry you're so fucking useless’ Huh?! Is that what you want me to say? You want me to feel sorry for you?!” he yelled, showing the anger and darkness in his eyes while he harshly slammed me to the wall, making me whimper slightly. His words cut deep into my skin, but I tried my best to ignore them, knowing this Dean wasn't really my Dean.

“I want you to understand, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I want you to tell me that we're gonna go through this like we always do,” I said softly, looking deeply into his eyes, trying to crack him.

He let out a dark chuckle and grasped my shoulders, lowering his head to be on the same height level with me. “You want me to tell you that we're gonna go through this? Well, baby, in that way, I'd be a big liar.”

“Dean, me and Sam, we are so close to saving you. Please, just don't let the mark control you,” I begged, feeling small under his touch.

“I don't want nor need you two saving me, and believe me, at this very moment, I'm trying to not let the mark control me, so don't provoke me,” he whispered against my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"I thought you trusted me.”

“Well, that trust was destroyed when you got someone who was like a sister to me killed. Have you ever noticed how many innocent people died because you were being too stupid?” he said harshly.

"We all have made mistakes, Dean," I said, as I thought about the hunts where innocent people died, and I couldn't save them. I didn't want Dean to know how much his words were affecting me, but, god, I felt like a crumpled paper.

“Seems like that's the only thing you ever do,” he smirked, letting his eyes fall on the floor again before looking up at my eyes again. “Tell me, how does it feel knowing you don't mean anything to anybody and you're just a burden in our lives? How does it feel knowing nobody loves you?”

That's it. That was the punch line to make me break into tears.

“Y-you love me, you said that before.”

“You know I lie to get laid,” he said, smirking, proud of his response.

My heart was racing more and more, and I felt nauseous.

“Dean, please-“

“You're nothing, do you hear me? Nothing!” he grabbed my cheeks harshly. “Your existence doesn't matter. You.don't.matter.” he said, spitting the words out before letting me go. He took his bag and walked out of the room, not even glancing at me. I slid down the wall as I started sobbing silently.

Then I heard a buzz from my phone.

New message from Sammy:

“Y/N, Dean just said he found a hunt, probably three to four werewolves, and he told me to go with him. I was really surprised but didn't question him. I think he's getting better. I'll also talk to him on the road. Next time, he'll definitely ask you too, just like old times. Don't stay up and don't worry; we got this :) love you.”

He asked Sam to go, but not me. If he hadn't told me that he hated me a few minutes ago, I'd think he was worried. But if it was really 3 or 4 werewolves, there's nothing to be worried about. He just wants to stay away from me. He told me I was a burden to them; he'll probably throw me out of the bunker soon.

Dark thoughts ran through my mind, and suddenly a rush of anxiety ran through me. What if there were more than a few werewolves? What if they get hurt? What if Dean hates me even more?

I checked Sam's message again and saw that he sent me the address of where the werewolves' location is and where the hunt would probably take place. I quickly rushed to my room, grabbed my car keys, and went to drive to the location.

—————

I was hiding behind some of the trees in the forest, watching as each of the boys fought one werewolf, two already dead ones on the floor.

Everything seemed good so far; I mean, their guns were on the floor, but they were fighting each werewolf single handed and there was no need for me to make my presence known. The boys were winning as always. And that's when I realized they don't really need me in their life. I knew the words that came out of Dean's mouth tonight weren't really Dean's, my Dean. But he was somehow right; before I became the hunter I am today, I made many mistakes. Some were small, and some led to people getting hurt or even killed. I also put their lives in danger multiple times because I was being reckless. Finding the demons that killed my parents blinded my vision. I was ready to get back to the bunker when I saw both of the werewolves giving up until I noticed something.

A werewolf close to Sam's back, and it seemed like none of the brothers noticed him. I searched for my gun but remembered I forgot it in the backseat of my car. I cursed under my breath and did the only thing possible right now to save Sam. I couldn't let Dean lose another person, especially his brother, who I knew meant the world to him. I couldn't put him through something like that again when there's a chance to save the younger Winchester.

So I ran towards Sam, trying my best to not slip because of the woods on the floor. The Werewolf was close, and nobody noticed him. I'm not the only stupid one after all. The boys turned their heads to me for a slight second, surprised at my presence, but didn't stop fighting the other werewolves.

Until I pushed Sam away from the werewolf he was fighting onto the floor. He seemed confused at first, until he saw it. I assumed Dean did too but couldn't be too sure since he was behind me. I let out an agonizing scream when the werewolf grazed his claws into my stomach and the other one, which Sam was fighting before, grazed his claws into my back before my lifeless body fell on the floor. Dean didn't hesitate more seconds before getting his gun from the floor and shooting all the werewolves.

I was bleeding like a waterfall from my body and my mouth. But the good thing is-

I didn't feel any pain, or anything in that matter…

Dean Winchester’s Pov:

No no no.

This can't be happening.

It's all a nightmare, just another stupid nightmare.

I heard Sam's crying voice telling the love of my life, his best friend, to wake up, holding her torn apart body in his arms, asking her why she pushed him away. But there was no answer.

It's a nightmare happening in real life.

Her beautiful y/e/c are open but so empty, unrecognizable.

I stood over her body, not being able to move from my spot.

There is so much blood everywhere.

Her blood.

This is hell.

No, I’ve been to hell and it's worse than hell.

I started tearing up more and more, reality hitting me more every second.

I let out an angry scream and fell on my knees when I remembered my last words to her.

“You're nothing, do you hear me? Nothing! Your existence doesn't matter. You.don't.matter.”

She wasn't nothing, she was my everything.

She mattered, she was the reason I kept going, now she's gone and it's all my fault.

All my fault.

All of the words I said came back to me, making my chest hurt.

As I knelt beside her lifeless body, surrounded by the aftermath of our shattered world, I whisper into the silent abyss, "I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry."

And deep down I felt the Mark laughing…

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fanfiction #Dean Winchester mark of cain #moc!dean #mark of cain #supernatural angst #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #angry Dean Winchester #angry!dean #dark Dean Winchester #angst #angst no happy ending #angst no comfort #platonic Sam Winchester

[iactuallykissedsharawheeler]

⭑⌗ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐇𝐂𝐒 + 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✶ let's go ahead and clear that idea that ellie wouldn't be like. immediately obsessed with you and giving you secret discounts on the weed.

✶ she met you five seconds ago and she was like. why would she ever pay for anything?? she's literally my reason for breathing?? (ok babe 😭) so you're getting that stuff for lowest price she can possibly make it. and if you flirt a little?? she's wondering why she's not just handing you the bag for free.

✶ when you guys get closer, she notices you're kinda into pink so when she sees pink papers???? she's SLAMMING that card, best believe. when you're freaking and like HOWD YOU GET THIS she's trying to pretend to be all cool like oh idk just found 'em and thought it'd be funny but if you like 'em you can have them ... i guess 😒

✶ if you're a little inexperienced with it she's a little protective and is like oh i don't think you should try that this one's way better and gives it to you on the house like?? you're trying to pay for it and she's like noooo it's for you just take it even though that was some of her good weed and she never gives that out. but you're nice and sweet and her bestest customer so who is she to charge you??

✶ when y'all are closer she literally just starts buying shit for you. you're like oh my gosh this bracelet is literally so pretty and next time you come over she's like so.. guess what and there's the bracelet in a box under two pretty pre-rolls (that she's also not letting you pay for btw)

✶ n you're so worried about breaking her bank when she does it but she's literally living lavish because she's everyone's dealer and no one with weed isn't getting it from her. (charismatic queen tbh)

✶ plus if you think this is gonna kill her wallet just wait until you guys start actually dating. she's not even waiting for you to ask for shit, she's telling you to put your cart on public so she can surprise you all the time.

✶ you're like babe how am i gonna pay you back and she's like just .. be pretty for me, yeah? 's not hard for you at all. (just flustered myself give me a minute)

✶ and some random things i just think she'd do:

✶ texting you high out of her mind about dinosaur facts because she just knows too much and needs to get it out immediately (she's such a nerd I love it 😭)

✶ trying to shotgun with you but she sees your face lookin' all pretty n dazed, chokes on the smoke, and just simply never does it after that. (give her a week, she'll be back)

✶ reading a shit ton of sci-fi. she compulsively reads savage starlight all the time but she's actually obsessed with the whole genre n can't exist without it atp (she DEFINITELY owns a few space cowboy books and before meeting you she would always imagine she was the lead guy with the hot love interest who was definitely some kind of alien. don't question it.)

✶ if you're a plushie girlie (me fr) she's ALWAYS buying you plushies. but she always buys one that matches yours for herself so you guys are "always together" or something. idk she's a little bit of a loser.

✶ she's so bad at keeping up with skincare but now she just weaponises that and makes you do it for her. literally rolling her eyes and pouting if you do yours without her, mumbling shit like "oh yeah, just forget about ellie, huh? that's what they all do" until you're like babe what??? 😭

✶ also i know that everyone says this but she really does own some weird ass shirts 😭😭 she'll get high and buy weird shit like that shirt that just says tomatoes it's so wild going through her closet lmaoo

✶ and because of her high shopping she also has some weird ass bongs like. seriously. there's a an astronaut one with octopus legs for sure, i can feel it.

✶ high ellie tweets>> she's actually so out of pocket sometimes 😭 some of her greatest hits would probs be

✶ also she was so nervous around you and wouldn't look you in the eye for too long because she didn't wanna scare you but then she got a little bold when she found out you liked girls and then was just straight up cocky when she realised you liked her, too (that blunt flick when dina said she wanted her to kiss her .. yeah that ellie)

✶ she's just the bestest, silliest, nerdiest girl ever and the best girlfriend literally anyone could ask for 💞💞

hey guys back with another banger hope you guys enjoyed make sure to like follow and subscribe‼️ no but seriously give me opinions because i love hearing you guys have little convos and the reposts are always so wild 😭😭 thank you new jersey, and goodnight (also don't look at the tags im shy) as alwaysss creds to @ cafekitsune bc these dividers are so mf cute

#˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ — reine writes ! #ellie williams #tlou2 #the last of us #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x female reader #poc reader #dealer!ellie #dealer!ellie williams #dealer!ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou2 #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams tlou2 #and thats how sue sees it #sorry for the impromptu glee reference

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-Twenty One

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: This entire chapter will be in Angel's POV! Hence the gif! Now before any of y'all ask, no! This isn't a love triangle chapter. Its about a girl who meets someone that has gone through the same thing she has and they have a moment together where they help each other over come those evil parts of their pasts (Platonically) Two people finding their "friendship" soulmates, if ya will.

FUCK YOU. EAT SHIT. KILL GOD. DETHRONE.

We are Fallenvvitch. Goodnight.

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid @casangel1986 @qualityvoidcollectorsblog @myownthoughts12 @jilliemiw86 @bellaboo967 @halloweenaesthetic @collapsedglasshouses

READER

I sat on my bed with the notebook perched on my lap with papers and discarded pens all over my bedroom. Salem curled up on my pillow next to me, his purring an eerily calm background noise as it combined with the scratching of my pen on paper. 

“I know it’s colder where I’m at,” I muttered in a soft tune. 

Ew, no not that. 

I scratched through the words with such force it ripped through the paper. 

“Fuck,” I cursed while tossing the book onto the floor then rubbed ink-stained hands over my face. 

I went through four different pens by now and changed the paper from my spiral notebook to printer paper. I had been held up in my room all night writing, not wanting to be bothered. With our tour starting in a few days, we needed to leave tomorrow which meant I spent most of my day and afternoon packing and getting things in order. 

For the last few days, Hollow Souls had been working tirelessly to practice our setlist and make sure all of our visuals were spot on. It was our first tour of just the three of us and my nerves were taking over every aspect of my life. I couldn’t even enjoy the fact that I was about to spend the next two weeks with my favorite artist. 

nothing, nowhere. 

Joe’s music had been a huge part of my healing process for years so when he reached out with the idea of opening up for Hollow Souls, immediately we agreed. Even though the nerves were still there, I couldn’t contain my excitement. I couldn’t count how many times I picked up my phone, wanting to text Noah, but always backed out. I told him I needed some time, truthfully I think I needed it to remind myself I could be my own person and succeed with this band for a little while. 

Maybe I needed to prove to myself that I was able to take the lead of this band without anyone pointing the finger, thinking it was someone else behind the curtain. There wasn’t someone else. It was me.

My heart began to stutter in my chest, blood running cold, so I took a deep breath while counting to four; exactly like Dr. Poulos told me to do. Soon, I felt heat spread within me as the image of Noah danced behind my eyelids. I missed him and yearned for his presence. My stomach was in knots since the second I left his house a few days ago. 

“I know it’s warmer where you are,” my eyes snapped open as the words fell from my lips. 

Fuck, that's good. 

We confessed, we told the truth. A weight was lifted off me. Noah loves me. 

He fucking loves me back. 

“I know it’s warmer where you are, and it’s safer by your side,” I sang while quickly writing it down on a fresh piece of paper.  “Right now I can’t be what you want, just give it time.”  

I began to ache at times, my stomach was sore, and my head would pound. It was often like this that I began to think I’d caught a cold. I wasn’t- it was just me feeling empty. I knew whatever this moment of self-reflection was, it was worth it. I love Noah and he loved me back.

We’d be together; soon. I had to believe that. I knew in my gut. I trusted it but I hope he trusted me.

“Cause if you and I can make it through the night,” my voice was loud now as I felt comfortable with how the lyrics were now pouring out of me. 

But there was this nagging feeling inside of me that I couldn't ignore. We last texted each other at 10 p.m. that night saying we loved each other. The invisible string that always seemed to connect us was urging me to text him. This was something else I couldn’t ignore. 

It was important to me that with this new love, the love for Noah, we have made the effort to fully heal first so we do the inner work that is required to become a whole person once more. All born into our era, our family, our body. We can only be ourselves and accountable for ourselves. He needed to know I loved him, and that I’d come to him. 

Was it selfish of me to walk away after we confessed our love? I wasn’t sure. I just knew it was important for us both to grow from our experiences. So be that rare kind of true love and this bond will be eternal. That I promise him.

With a deep breath, I shifted my attention to my phone and decided to send the message before I doubted myself again. 

Me: I love you, mochi. 

Before I could even set my phone down, it buzzed in my hand with a new message. 

Mochi 🍡: I love you, angel.

The crushing weight that I felt gripping around my heart lifted as I read Noah’s message over and over again. Although we were apart for the time being, we would be alright because we loved each other. I lay here in deep thought and my mind wandered back to my primal need for intimacy.  There is that feeling of maturity, the admittance of being in love with Noah. It arrived without fanfare. Our souls were humble travelers and I could feel the bruise begin to form on my shoulder, so desperate to feel him again.

Salem rubbed his head against my arm and I brought him into my chest, peppering his face in kisses. 

“We can meet in the middle, body and souls collide. Dance in the moonlight,” I muttered to myself. 

Noah and I have a long road together, and it’s one I wanted to last. 

A knock sounded on my door before it opened slowly, Chase's stern smile on his lips. 

Uh oh. 

He leaned against the door frame. "Sweets, I love you. You know I do. But you're fucking killing me with the paint on the carpet in the dining room." 

I knew it. 

"I'm sorry! I know, I know.” I nodded with a long sigh. “It's just the lighting in my bedroom sucks compared to the light in the dining room. I'll put down a drop next time."

Malcolm came into my room, laying a kiss on Chase’s cheek before falling onto the end of my bed somehow missing the mess I created with my writing. 

“Don’t be so hard on her, Chase,” Malcolm said before motioning to my bed. “How’s the writing going?” 

I shrugged. “It’s going, I guess. I think my mind is so preoccupied with the next few weeks that it’s hard to focus.” 

“Excited?” Chase questioned. 

“Excited?” I scoffed. “I’m fucking ecstatic. In less than twenty-four hours I’m going to meet one of my idols and tour with him for two weeks.” 

Malcolm spoke next. “Feeling confident with the setlist?” 

“Yeah! I think we’ve got a good amount of songs and I’m stoked to perform Eyelids live. I think it will be a great way to tease the new album.” 

I’d been very apprehensive to put one of the newer songs on the set list only because some fans weren’t supportive of Eyelids or St. Patrick when they first came out. But Hollow Souls were evolving into a new era and we couldn’t continue to be stuck in the past. 

“Ethan said the bus will be here to pick us up by noon tomorrow,” Chase informed. “Are you all packed and ready?” 

I pointed to the three suitcases at the other end of my room but as Salem jumped off my lap to go lay with Malcolm, I realized something important. 

"Oh, shit. I forgot to see if someone can take care of Salem,” I chastised myself. 

I didn’t miss the glance the two of them shared and raised a brow as Malcolm spoke up.  "Already taken care of."

“You asked Noah, didn’t you?” I couldn’t help the smile that crept on my face. 

“Maybe,” he shrugged while giving Salem some belly rubs. 

Chase rolled his eyes before pushing himself off the door frame and sitting next to Malcolm. “Of course we did. Who else would you ask?” 

“I could have asked Jolly or Jesse. I didn’t want to put this on Noah,” I admitted with a shaky breath. 

“Well, he’s basically Salem’s dad now,” 

“Malcom!” I smacked his shoulder. 

“I’m just saying,” he chuckled while rubbing his arm. 

“We’re not official yet, guys,” I ran a hand through my hair before pulling my knees to my chest. “Please don’t do that.” 

“No way,” Chase shook his hand as Malcolm rested a hand on his thigh. “We’re not doing that. You need to think of the positives. You two said you love each other. Soon you will find your way back to one another.” 

“I love your optimism,” I said while playfully rolling my eyes. 

“Hey, smart ass. We know these things,” Malcolm snorted while still playing with Salem. 

“You do, huh? Do you have connections to the other side?” I teased. 

“We were watching a show last week about alternate universes and shit. It made me think that maybe there’s more of us out there, ya know?” he squeezed Chase’s knee. “Who the hell knows, maybe you and Noah fucked one night, magically fell in love, and went on the road with him. By the end of it, you moved into an apartment that’s right across the street from his house because you couldn’t fathom being away from him,” Chase spoke with a smirk.

My face reddened as I shifted my gaze downwards. “Wow, that’s-uh-you really thought about that.”

Malcolm laughed. “Or what if in another life, Noah walked through literal flames for you.” 

I snorted at that thought because there was no way Noah would risk his life to walk through a fire to save my life, even if I was hanging from a building. 

“Now you’re talking about shit people read in romance novels. Did my long-lost brother start the fire as well?” 

Malcolm narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m just saying, the two of you will find your way. We’re proud of you and how far you’ve come. You and Noah will grow together.”  

My heart jumped in my throat at how sincere Malcolm sounded and the way Chase’s eyes danced as he stared at me. 

“Thank you guys. That means a lot to me,” I smiled. 

“Always sweets, always,” Chase kissed my forehead. “You’re the miracle Noah needed, you know?” 

“I think he was the miracle I needed as well,” I admitted. 

READER

“Wow, Dallas. You are all such beautiful souls tonight. I cannot express our gratitude for all the support we’ve been getting this tour. We’re only four shows in and we’re having the best fucking time. Thank you,” I smiled into the microphone while tucking a long strand of blonde hair behind my ear. 

The crowd cheered wildly as Chase pounded the foot pedal of his drum, the beat making my heart thump hard in my chest. It was night four of the tour and even though it was straight show after show and I was exhausted, I let the energy from the crowd up me hype to finish tonight strong. 

The support of this tour had been fucking outstanding. Every show was sold out and we even had to move our last show into a bigger arena due to high demand. The three of us were so unbelievably proud of the direction we were headed and we didn’t want to look back. 

“Before we play our last song, I think we need to show our opener some love!” I said into the microphone. 

The crowd clapped and screamed but I frowned while shifting my weight on one foot while shaking my head. 

“That’s pretty weak. I want the fucking roof to blow off of here. Let’s hear it for nothing, nowhere!” 

Chase and Malcolm played an in-sync beat as the crowd screamed, cheered, clapped, and jumped up and down. 

“That’s better.” I nodded with a smile while adjusting my guitar. “Not many know this but I’m such a huge fan of nothing, nowhere so to be here touring with him has me fangirling pretty hard right now.” 

I peered over to the side stage where Joe was leaning, watching our set with a smile. We met a few days ago and even though I did my best to keep my composure, I was a giddy girl on the inside. He and Malcolm had a lot in common which made them click almost immediately which made tour life easy for all of us. 

“So,” I cleared my throat while staring back out toward the crowd. “Our final song is a new one and I’m so excited to perform it in front of all of you. Our new album White Noise will be released in a few months. It’s different than our first three but we promise that it’ll be worth it.” 

As the crowd clapped and cheered, I smiled. “My friends, thank you. This song is   called Eyelids.” 

As we began the song over the loud cheers of excitement, I let my eyes flutter shut as yet again, memories of mine and Noah’s night flashed in my mind. 

"Noah," I breathed while breaking apart from the kiss.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck to breathe me in. "Say it again."

I did, over and over like a mantra, as he left a mark on the skin of my neck while his hand switched to the other breast, mimicking his actions from before. The wetness that pooled between my legs was almost a new feeling, never been this turned on.

With one touch I could have sworn he entered my soul. As if my body was his key. He entered me and it fit, pun not intended. Not a thing of metal nor gold, Yet a sensation of love that came.

"I want to hear you," he left a gentle bit on the inside of my thigh

I used the small break-in lyrics to let out a deep breath, doing my best to remain centered so I could finish the rest of the song strong

Noah was in every aspect of my mind, no matter how hard I tried to focus on the song. 

His fingertips, his eyes, his lips on every inch of skin, or the way Noah steadied our breaths. “Breathe through it with me.” 

I did as he said, both of us breathing out my orgasm as our eyes locked intently with each other. I writhed against him, my arousal soaking the condom and parts of his hips. It was such a simple action but the way it set my body on fire intensified the aftershocks to something I'd never experienced. Noah stared down to the place where we met and with a noisy moan, he wrapped an arm tighter around me to pull me flush against his chest as his hips stilled for a second before he emptied himself inside the condom.

Through his sweet words and the resolution of my survival self to never let anyone else sit at my core. He was already there.

As the song ended and I thanked the crowd with a bow, I thought how relieved I was to discover my pure self. That this with Noah could be real love. There was no temptation to change because it was our real selves that bonded us. It is our real selves that each other loves.

That night, I walked away from him without listening to his pleas but now, we were different. We had grown together, for each other.  

Tonight, I vowed then and there under the bright lights of this stage that I’d stay.

I would always stay with Noah. 

“Kick ass show tonight, guys!” Joe cheered while giving us a round of high-fives. 

I smirked while whipping out my phone. “Thanks, Joe! Give me a few minutes and we can head to karaoke.” 

Malcolm rolled his eyes. “Whose time zone is it tonight?” 

“Mine” I smirked into my phone while I quickly typed out a message. 

 Me: I love you, mochi.

“Oh,” a hand with a rose tattoo waved in front of my face. “Who has you smiling like that?” 

Playfully narrowing my eyes at Joe, I stuck out my tongue at him. “Someone is nosy.” 

Just then a new message popped up and my heart fluttered when I saw Noah’s response. It was the same response for the last week but every time, my smile spread wide on my face. 

Mochi 🍡: I love you too, angel.

When I went to put my phone back into my pocket, it vibrated with a new message, this time it was a video from Noah of Salem lying on a couch, one I hadn’t seen before. 

“Salem, say hi to your mom. She misses you,” Noah’s voice came from the background. 

I broke out in an even bigger smile and giggled when my cat did not move, didn't even bat an eye as Noah scratched behind his ears. But the music playing in the background suddenly caught my attention. 

The lyrics sounded so familiar. 

“Gave you way too many chances but it wasn't enough.” 

I replayed the video a few more times to make sure. 

“No way,” I muttered, not paying attention to the conversation behind me with Joe, Malcolm, and Chase. 

I quickly sent a text to Noah. 

Me: Hi Salem baby! Mom misses you! Also, I hear something in the background. Is it..?

Mochi 🍡: He’s napping. He had a long day of playing outside. 

My brow peaked. 

Me: You took him outside?

Mochi 🍡: Don’t worry, angel. We had him on a harness and leash. He loved laying in the sun on the back patio. 

“Sweets, let’s go!” Chase called from behind. “The karaoke place closes in like an hour!” 

I waved him off before texting Noah back. 

Me: I trust you with him, Noah. But what’s that playing in the background of your video? 

He responded with another video and when his face graced my screen, my heart jumped into my throat. 

Fuck. Me. 

Mochi 🍡: I can’t wait for you to hear the final version. 

“Well, who’s that?” 

Joe peered over my shoulder causing me to jump slightly while clutching the phone close to my chest. 

“Geez, can’t a girl get some privacy?” I asked with flushed cheeks. 

The image of Noah in that video played in my mind on a fucking loop and I suddenly did not want to go out with the guys tonight. 

Joe raised a brow. “Oh, that’s him?” 

Malcolm looked between Joe and me, noticing how red my face was. “What the hell did Noah send you?” 

“No-nothing. Just a video of Salem,” I stammered at first but was quick to recover.  

Chase’s mouth parted to speak but soon his eyes turned dark, jaw clenching as he stared past me. 

“What’s wr-,” I didn’t get a chance to ask because an all too familiar voice crept deep into my bones, ripping me apart from the inside out.

“You still have that fucking cat?” 

My heart sunk low to the depths of my stomach and I let my eyes flutter shut, all the breath leaving my lungs. 

No. No. No. Please, not here. Not now.

“He can’t be,” I shook my head while keeping my eyes trained hard on Chase, doing my best to stay centered. 

Do as Dr. Poulos says; deep breath in for three seconds, long breath out for four seconds.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Malcolm spat while stepping in front of me. 

“I needed to come to check out the new Hollow Souls,” the deep voice chuckled darkly. 

I didn’t miss the venom in his words. 

But I never turned around, simply kept my gaze straight on Chase who still refused to look at me; his own hard gaze was trained on the man behind me. Joe noticed the sudden tension and rested a gentle hand on my elbow. 

“Y/N?” His words were white noise. 

I’m imagining this. He’s not here right now. There’s no way. 

“You looked good on that stage, baby. Although, I bet you’d look even better in the back of it.” 

No. No. No. 

A sharp whistle. “I know you hear me.” 

“What the hell are you doing here? Why are you here?” Chase’s voice was thick with anger. 

The voice that I spent so many days in therapy talking about let out a low scoff. 

“What? I came to see my protégé.” 

Malcolm pushed me towards Joe. “Can you take her back to our bus? We’ll be there soon.” 

I shook my head feverishly with tears brimming in my eyes, my back still to the one I refused to look at. 

“No. It’s not worth it. Please guys,” I begged while Joe wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Please come with me.” 

Chase’s eyes softened when he finally peered down at me. “It’ll be okay, sweets. We’re just going to talk; promise.” 

“Come on,” Joe urged my frozen state a few steps. 

Until that darkness pulled me back into the place I spent many days dragging myself out of. 

“Oh, it seems as if you’re back to your old ways. Fucking the opening act, huh? How does good ‘ol Noah feel about that?” Trey did the jerking-off gesture at Noah’s name.

“FUCK YOU!” I screamed as I spun on my heels, Joe’s arm falling away from me. “Don’t you dare say his name. You haven’t earned the right to talk about him!” 

Those cold eyes that I swore at one point I’d have a future with bore into my soul as he ran a hand through the curly locks on his head. Trey smirked wickedly at me. 

“I should call him up. Better yet,” He stuck a cigarette on his lips. “Maybe I’ll send him the video I took of you two ogling each other while you were on stage.” 

I took a step towards Trey but Malcolm held out his arm to stop me, only for me to push it away. 

“Go ahead! You have absolutely no fucking idea what you’re talking about. We should have had you fucking blacklisted,” my upper lip curled, barring my teeth. 

“Good luck, baby. My name gets me places, I can’t help it. Plus, I needed to come see my protege. Since I fucking made you,” Trey twirled his hand towards me with a snide smirk. 

“MADE ME?!” My eyes doubled as my voice roared through the dwindling venue as fans slowly took their time leaving. 

The stagehands and crew members paused their work to watch my outburst. 

I took a deep breath to center myself again, not wanting to create a scene right now when there were still so many prying eyes.  “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed the show. We’re doing fine without you.” 

Turning my back to him yet again, I allowed Joe to lead me away with a hand ghosting over my lower back; until Trey’s voice stopped me. 

“You’re so broken you don’t even trust yourself.”  

“Y/N,” Joe’s voice was soft as he shook his head. “It’s not worth it. Come-.” 

“Excuse me?!” I turned swiftly on my heels, hair whipping over my shoulder. 

Trey shrugged while reaching for a strand of my hair, twirling it between his fingers. “You heard me.” 

I smacked his hand away, the noise echoing loudly backstage. “No. No, I don’t think I did. Say it again.” 

“You’re broken.” Now his hands were in his pocket, a lit cigarette hanging loosely on his lips. “That uh- that new song? That's about him, isn’t it? Where is he?”

Trey made a show of looking around backstage. “I don’t see him anywhere. Oh, let me guess. You demolished it right? ‘Cause we all know you can’t have a perfect thing without doing that.” 

My hands curled at my side, knuckles turning white from how hard my nails dug crescent moon shapes into my palm.  

“You don’t know a fucking thing about me, Trey! You never did and you don’t know a fucking thing about Noah, okay?”

“I don’t need to. I know enough,” Trey blew the smoke towards Malcolm. 

Before he could take a step towards him, Chase wrapped an arm around his chest to pull him away. 

“You know he has asthma, you piece of shit!” I pushed Trey hard in the chest. “No. No! No! You’re not going to do this.” 

“Do what? We both get off on hurting other people,” Trey snickered while taking a step toward me. “I tell you the fucking truth. You’re on the stage singing your pretty little lullabies and maladaptive daydreams because I let you! And you know what else? That little Sykes wanna be?” 

When he made the gesture of sucking a dick, I nearly gagged in my mouth at how disgusting and vulgar Trey actually was. 

Anger filled my veins as he continued to spew his venom. Every single thing Trey said was meant for one thing; to hurt and destroy. He’d spent years perfecting it and before, I’d swim in it. 

Now? Now I was different and I wasn’t afraid of standing up to him. 

“No! Shut the fuck up!” I ran a wild hand through my hair before pointing a finger at him. “You were such a poison that I should have avoided. Every single part of you. I thought you wanted to save me but in the end, all you did was break me!” 

Tears fell from my eyes and I was quick to wipe them away. I refused to cry in front of everyone; especially Trey. He didn’t get the privilege to break me. Not again. 

“How dare you reach out your hand? You said you loved me but acted like you hated me,” I choked on a sob. “I should have run but I didn’t.” 

Trey flicked the ashes on the ground at my feet with a fake pout on his lips but before he could say anything I pointed another finger into his chest causing him to stumble back.

“No! I have to get this off my chest! There’s more shit I have to say!” 

I could feel the proud smiles of Chase, Malcolm, and even Joe as they all flanked behind me. Not stepping in but still wanting to be close in case they needed to. 

“You’re not half the man you think you are! You’re not! You’re abusive, an addict, and I hated the way you would make me feel. Everything I did was under a constant microscope with you.” 

I began to list things on my fingers. “I couldn’t dress the way I wanted. I couldn’t talk to who I wanted. I couldn’t even fucking talk about things that I enjoyed because if it didn’t involve you, it wasn’t important. In the beginning, you needed to know my every single fucking move. But the one night you went out with your friends and I asked where you were going, you thought it would be funny to choke me!” 

“What the fuck?!” Chase roared while stepping up next to me. 

I placed a hand on his chest but kept my eyes on Trey. “I’ve outgrown you, I fell out of every trace of love and respect for you, Trey. I’ve moved fucking past you. Yes, in the beginning, I thought that maybe there might have been a chance for us. But you found yourself on drugs and nicotine. A hollow body like a figurine and I always felt like an accessory.” 

Joe turned his head towards me with a small smile on his lips. 

“Looking back now, I can see it. You always tried to put me in the background. I wasted so much fucking time on you and you wasted so much Hollow Souls time. You held us back for so long because you thought you knew what was best for us.”

A muscle in Trey’s jaw ticked. “I fucking made you. I made this band.” 

I rolled my eyes while crossing my arms over my chest. “Oh, please. Everyone knows that Hollow Souls was my idea. I was the one who asked Chase and Malcolm to join. I wrote the songs. I wanted to produce our songs but you immediately shot that idea down claiming it was too much work and not worth it.” 

Thankfully, it was long after our show ended and the main part of the venue had cleared out but there were still workers backstage as they tore down our equipment. They acted like they weren’t listening to our fight but I knew that with the glances our way every so often, they heard everything. 

“You always wanted to change shit that didn’t need to be changed,” he snarled. 

I held my arms out wide. “And look where I’m at? Every show on this tour is sold out. We had to upgrade to a bigger venue because of high demand.” 

“What?” Trey tossed his cigarette to the ground. “Do you want a fucking medal for that?” 

I stepped on the bud of the cigarette, stepping right up into Trey’s space. “You fucked with my head knowing that I couldn't take it and for that, I can't forgive you. I’ll never forgive you.” 

Chase waved over security as my final words relieved the weight that I didn’t know was on my shoulders. I thought that the last time I saw Trey I wouldn’t need to say my peace but saying it now, I felt as if I could breathe easier. 

“I don’t need you to forgive me, Y/N.” He scoffed. “Noah will never love you and that you won’t blame me for.” 

My lips twitched in a smile as I breathed through the last of my stray tears. “You’re wrong, Trey. He does love me, and I love him. You won’t disturb my peace anymore, never again. I’m moving on, and I’m happy. You should be sad, and truly I feel sorry for you.” 

I took a step back to stand in between Chase and Malcolm just as security snuck up behind Trey. 

“I hope you choke in your sleep while you're dreaming of me. I fucking hope when you suffocate in your sheets that I'll be the last thing you see. Goodbye, Trey,” 

My hands shook at my side, something that Joe noticed so he gave them a reassuring squeeze. 

One of the security guards grasped Trey’s elbow to drag him out but he ripped it from the guy's grasp. Trey eyed all four of us, his gaze lingering on me a few seconds longer than the others before he spat on the ground at my feet. 

The old me would have let that bother her. But the new me simply smirked as I watched security escort Trey out of the building. 

Ethan came up to us in haste as he looked back towards Trey. “What the fuck was he doing here?!” 

Malcolm made sure that Trey was out of sight then turned towards Ethan, pointing a stern finger at him. “Do whatever you can to get that piece of shit blacklisted from any Hollow Souls shows in the future.” 

“Bad Omens too,” I nodded firmly. 

Chase cupped my cheek. “Sweet, are you alright?” 

Through tears, I nodded. “I’m okay. I didn’t realize how badly I needed that.”

“How do you feel?” He had a faint smile on his lips.

I gnawed on my bottom lip, really thinking about Chase’s question. 

Relief. 

This felt like a new wave of freedom. Something I’ve yet to experience in a long while. A new form. 

I looked back at my new friend and then at my brothers; my family.  Those who bring a sense of love into my life. We can make choices to care for the self and still be kind. I had so much to say to him. It felt good to release it- yet; still I killed him with kindness. Something he’d never dare show me.

You can care better for others from strength than weakness. 

At the expense of my own comfort. It’s a prudence with integrity that awaits the right moment to be brave. I felt brave. 

I was ready for my new beginnings.

Joe motioned behind me. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your bus.” 

While Malcolm and Chase hung back to talk more with Ethan about what happened I allowed Joe to lead me outside. The cool night air danced around me with a comforting touch and I let it ease my heated skin. As I made the walk towards where the bus was, Joe had other plans and dragged me to a bench at the back of the venue. 

“What?” I asked. 

“Sit.” When I didn’t move, Joe nodded to the bench behind me. “Sit down, Y/N. Take a breather. I can see the rage in your eyes and the vein in your neck is doing a weird twitch thing.” 

Instinctively, my hand went to my neck, rubbing at it, before sitting on the bench with a long breath; Joe doing the same. 

We let a long beat of silence fall between us and with the sudden breeze of cold air, I shivered and covered my bare arms suddenly wishing I didn’t wear the dress with skinny straps. 

“Cold?” Joe wondered. 

When I nodded, he handed over his jacket which I took gratefully. “I’ll make sure to give it back to you.” 

“Good,” he snorted playfully. “Because it’s my favorite.”

I chuckled while easing onto the bench, now warm. “About what happened inside with Trey-.”

Joe bumped his shoulder with mine. “Don’t even worry about it. I’ve been through something similar. I did love how you threw in lyrics from Clarity in Kerosene. ”

I rubbed my hands on my thighs, suddenly nervous. “Uh, yeah. Your album Reaper means a lot to me so it felt therapeutic in a way.” 

We sat for another long while, enjoying the quiet that shocked us for being in the middle of the city. It was in the middle of the night but neither of us was complaining. 

“It’s an honor doing this tour with you, Joe. I’ve been a fan for so long.” I smiled at him.

“Hey, the honor is all mine,” he ran a hand through his hair with a sheepish smile. “Hollow Souls has been on my playlist for a long time.”

A familiar memory of long ago crept into my mind of someone saying the same thing. 

“We're huge fans of Hollow Souls. Noah has your music on the playlist we play during the wait time for our shows.”

 “Ya know, someone else told me the same thing the first time I met him,” I said with a warm smile. 

Joe’s brow peaked. “Yeah? Seems like I’ll have to meet this someone.” 

Noah flashed in my mind now; his infectious smile, his bright almond eyes, and the sound of his laughter made my heart flutter. Even though he was hundreds of miles away, our souls were always connected. It was as if he was sitting right here with me. I could feel the ghost of his hand on my thigh and his lips on mine. 

“I love you, angel,” those eyes glimmered as he watched me. 

“Hm,” I hummed while bumping my shoulder with Joe’s again. “Maybe someday.” 

READER

As I stepped out of the bathroom, towel-drying my long locks, I sighed in content and made work of getting ready. It was an off day but I had no plans, something I intended to keep so much so that I was dressed in a pair of Bad Omens joggers and a black crop top tank. My typical stay-home outfit. 

Just when I was about to load up my laptop to continue writing, there was a persistent knock on my hotel room door. It wasn’t Chase or Malcolm since they mentioned to me earlier that they were spending the day doing a joint interview and then getting something to eat. 

Some would think it was weird that I wasn’t going to an interview with them but Hollow Souls were all for doing our own separate interviews or joint. I did my fair share of solo ones, the same with Chase and Malcolm. I actually had one planned in a few days so I wasn’t too upset about skipping out on this one today. 

“Joe?” I asked while leaning against the open door. “What’s up?” 

He smiled while giving me a once-over. “Good, you’re dressed. Grab your things and let’s go.” 

“Go where?” My brows furrowed. 

“We’re not going to waste the day away inside. I have our whole afternoon planned,” Joe adjusted his hat. 

“You do, huh?” I chuckled while leaving him on the threshold of the open door so I could grab my things, not wanting to forget the small camera I brought along for this tour, and slipped on a pair of white Converse.

With the door closed behind me, I let Joe lead me toward the elevator where we waited for it. 

“There’s this sunflower field I was thinking we could check out,” Joe said. 

“That sounds nice,” I smiled while we both stepped into the elevator. 

“Hilary sent it to me this morning and said it would be a great place to clear your head with what happened last night,” he informed. 

“Did you tell her-?” I chewed on the inside of my cheek as the elevator descended. 

Joe quickly shook his head. “Nope. I only mentioned how you needed to clear your head.” 

“Thank you,” I breathed when the doors opened. 

For the next few hours, Joe and I enjoyed the peacefulness of the sunflower field. We laughed, we joked, and he told me about his life growing up as I did the same. He also told me about an ex of his that messed him up mentally causing him to hide away for a year. 

“I had to cancel shows because the depression and panic attacks were so bad I had to seek treatment,” Joe said as we neared the end of the sunflower maze. “I went to hospitals, sat with monks in Buddhist temples, and went to therapy. I was so mad that someone took years out of my life.” 

I smiled solemnly. “I understand what that’s like.”

“Therapy told me that I need to stop hating the world and hating myself. I found someone who showed me what love is and I’ll forever be grateful for her,” Joe said. 

“She sounds like a lovely person, Joe. I’m glad you were able to find your happy ending.”

We came to a stop in front of a large patch of sunflowers with him a few spaces in front of me. 

“Hey,” I called after him, beckoning him to turn around so I could take a picture of him. 

His black hood was pulled over his hat and a small bag crossed over his chest. Although he didn’t smile on his lips, I could see it in his eyes. 

“It seems like you found your own happy ending,” Joe noted. 

My cheeks burned as I waved him off. “Oh, no. Not yet. We’re not official.” 

“But you text each other every night at 10 o'clock to say I love you?” 

“It’s-,” I pursed my lips while looking around the field. “Complicated”. 

Being in an open field like this, the breeze blowing through my hair, made me remember the last time I was in a place of solace like this. 

Earlier that day. 

"Noah?" I asked while looking up at him through lashes.

"Yes, angel?"

"You have a cute nose," my voice was quiet. 

Noah tilted his head to the side. "My nose?"

"Yeah. It's just the perfect size for your facial structure," I booped his nose. 

"Did-did you just boop my nose?" Noah chuckled with a scrunched face.

"See!" I pointed to him. "You look so fucking cute; it's insane."

"Angel, literally.” 

"Mochi, literally," I mocked while sticking out my tongue. 

Joe’s soft voice brought me out of the memory and I blinked at me. “Hm, I’m sorry. Did you say something?” 

“Do you want to be with Noah?” He asked his question again while gripping the strap of his bag. 

“More than anything,” I answered without missing a beat. 

He shrugged. “Then what’s holding you back?” 

I licked my lips while shifting on my feet. “It’s not as easy as you think. After that party, so much happened and things were said that I can’t exactly forget. I was hurt and needed time away.” 

“So you just left?” 

Hearing the reality of what I did from someone else made the guilt eat away at my insides and my heart sunk low. 

“I needed to get my head together,” I defended while adjusting the black beanie on my head. 

“Do you guys even talk? Besides the usual 10 p.m. texts?” Joe asked. 

Not wanting to speak, I shook my head with a long breath. 

“Y/N, this might not be my place, but that wasn’t very fair of you to do that.”

I bit my lip, not trying to snap at Joe because all he was doing was being a good friend; something I needed. 

“My therapy session is tomorrow. I didn’t need it today,” I sighed while running my hands up and down my thighs. 

“My friend, you do,” Joe snorted. “Why are you so afraid of committing to this?” 

I played with the string of my joggers, really mewling over his question. Noah and I moved past all the bullshit and we’re ready to finally be together. So what was I so afraid of?

With a wobbly lip, I let out a shaky breath and met Joe’s eyes. “I just don’t want to disappoint him, I don’t want him to ever feel like I don’t support him or something.”

He squeezed my arm. “I don’t think you can. If you’re both more than aware that you’re human beings, Y/N.” 

“Understandable,” I nodded. “But I don’t want him to know how flawed I can be.” 

“It’s vital to face hard facts and choose to be present, honest, and mindful of what’s happening in the life of your relationship. You guys aren’t even official yet and you’re worrying about shit that you don’t need to.”

Birds chirping were muted by the sudden commotion of a group of people arriving at the sunflower patch but neither Joe nor I moved from the end of the maze we finished a while ago.

“You’re not robots, Y/N.” He began. “Erase any confusion or doubt surrounding your needs so you can learn to powerfully communicate your needs. You both need to talk. Get it out of yourselves, don’t curl up with shit alone. Don’t do that to him. Don’t assume the worst about him, especially when you haven’t even discussed things properly.” 

I crossed my arms over my chest while shifting all of my weight to one foot. “I never even noticed. In hindsight, I thought I was doing something validating. Turns out I hurt him numerous times, and he still did nothing but try to love me. Even when I wasn’t perfect. I left him alone in that hotel room because things became to real. I left him the night of the party because we both admitted we love each other. And I do. I love him, Joe. I love him so much. I want us to work. But I don’t understand why I keep leaving him. I don’t want it; I just do.” 

Joe gave me a warm smile. “I know, Y/N. You should talk to your therapist about this. I think she can give you more insight than I can offer but just know I understand. You need to approach Noah and this relationship with a loving spirit, believing that he will love you and we want to satisfy you in every way. That he is deserving of your love and kindness even if things feel too good to be true. Feel it out, you’re probably that good of a fit.”

I playfully rolled my eyes. “Joe, I don’t need another therapist.”

He snorted. “No, you don’t, but I’d like to think I’m your friend and I’m telling you, that doing this to someone you love isn’t fair. Noah deserves to communicate with you too. I haven’t met the guy or seen the two of you together but from what you told me I already know.  He fucking loves you, Y/N.”

“I love him too, so fucking much, okay? I do,” I admitted with tears in my eyes. 

“I’m not saying you don’t/. I don’t know everything but, from my experience and what I’ve learned, shit like this can ruin a perfectly good relationship because we simply don’t tell ourselves the truth.”

I cocked my head to the side confused. “Truth about what?” 

“About why you’re subconsciously running,” Joe said. “You’re scared shitless and this avoidance can lead to procrastination that delays dealing with damaging stressors on or within your relationship. It did until the pipe finally burst at the birthday party.” 

“Should I be paying you by the hour?” I joked with a small chuckle.

“If you want to,” he snorts. “No, but come on. If you want him to be there for you, to be your everything, then you have to give half as well.” 

“I know. I want to. I’ve been feeling so sick lately without him.” 

It was true. 

Noah and I seemed to have been brought together by this unknown force. The universe? Maybe: we didn’t believe in high powers, yet also knew we weren’t alone. 

Staggered over weeks, months, or years. In this time the pain of our separation was an act as a focusing lens. The point was to give each other time to see the purity of our love, to be sure that there can be only one lover for this lifetime. 

Seems silly, especially in this era. Yet, it’s how I feel. I just know.

I get almost neurotic to my knees. I know that I must get enough sleep. He made a sham of my pain. I feel like I blew a hole in my heart with an ice-cold magnum. 

Why, when he’s not around I feel lonely when there’s company around. I’m not lost, but I have been found. That level of emotional indifference is not a mark of superiority, but the reverse. I was always worth more, I just needed to educate myself as to how and why.

It hit me. My body yearned for the other half of me.  The lovers who are right for one another take away the other pain naturally, by virtue of who they are the strength of their loving bond.

I couldn’t wait to embrace him again.

Joe peered over his shoulder, noticing a group of people slowly reaching us so he motioned for me to start walking in step with him. “Of course you do. It’s like half of your entire body is ripped apart and begging for the other half back.”

I smacked his arm. “Yes, exactly like that! Even though we’re far apart from each other right now, I still know subconsciously what he’s doing without actually knowing.”

“Exactly. So you two need to talk together about what you’re facing. Discuss the realities and your key concerns. Listen to each other and reflect on what you hear for optimal understanding. Be curious and open-minded concerning each other’s ideas and solutions for relief and change. If you love him, meet him in the middle like you’re saying in the song, Y/N. Don’t just use words, act too.”

We reached the rental car and Joe leaned against the driver's door. “What do you want this song to do; to say?” 

My forehead creased as I put deep thought into Joe’s question. “I think I want to expose the vulnerability. I’m kind of like star light. Maybe it can guide the way to the ones who must travel by night. The ones who don’t know that there is something special waiting for you if you keep pushing forward.” 

Joe bumped his fist with mine. “I love that, a reminder for people. However, it’s not just about that.”

“No, no it isn’t,” I chuckled. “It’s special that we aren't so different, him and I. Somehow together we are balanced. As yin and yang, but a perfect match. All I want is for him to ask me to stay again, and I’ll always say yes.”

JOE

The conversation between Malcolm and Chase was muted as we sat at the hotel restaurant, my food going cold a while ago. After my afternoon with Y/N at the sunflower field with our conversation and everything that happened last night, something was weighing heavy on my mind. 

Malcolm must have sensed it because he waved a hand in front of my face. “Everything alright?” 

My eyes snapped up towards him and I nodded. “Oh yeah, yeah I’m good. I’m just reflecting on that whole interaction last night. 

Chase hummed while resting an arm over the back of Malcolm’s chair. “We’re sorry Trey pulled you in the middle of it.”

“It’s fine but he’s a fucking piece of work,” I said. 

Malcolm took a long drink of his beer. “Yeah. He’s always been a piece of shit. It was like that for fucking years. Trey tried to dictate everything she did. What the band did. He was off doing what he wanted when he wanted. Y/N would fall into it time after time until-.” 

“Til Noah?” I asked with a hint of a smile. 

“Yeah,” Chase spoke next. “Have you  ever heard of Bad Omens?”

“I’ve heard their name and listened to a couple of their songs. But I’ve never seen his face until recently,” I said. 

“Did he send her a dirty photo?!” Malcolm’s eyes widened. 

“No!” I shook my head with a chuckle. “Y/N showed me a picture of him in braids.” 

“Oh, that picture,” Chase snorted. 

I continued again. “Noah has a great range and a good ear; talented guy. He seems crazy about Y/N from what she said.”

“Oh, he is. Shit, he’s over the fucking moon and back and everything fucking else. They have some otherworldly shit going on.” 

“Oh yeah? Think so?” I asked Malcolm. 

He shared a look with Chase, both of them smiling. “We know so. Noah made her fucking smile again. Laugh in a way we hadn’t heard in so long. He gave her confidence when she desperately needed it. Y/N became herself again. It’s been so beautiful to watch her hatch from the sick cocoon she was in. Last night was a terrific example. We’re so proud of her.”

“Yeah, that was something; the way she stood up to him. She kicked his ass. I may not have been around or anything for long, but that was awesome to see. I’d like to talk to Noah about it.”

Chase and Malcolm shared yet another look, the former's brows raised as he looked at me.

“You want Noah’s number? That’s a bit random, no?” 

“I just want to formally introduce myself,” I assured them. “To let him know how Y/N was last night and how awesome your record is.” 

“Is that all you want to let him know? Or do you want to make sure Noah knows that you’re not a threat? Because he knows you aren’t. And he also knows that Trey hasn’t come near her,” Malcolm reassured me. 

“No, it’s not even about that,” I leaned forward on the table to rest my arms on it. “I want to keep him in the loop, I have a feeling they’re still working out this what do I say or not say phase. Y/N’s become a friend now, and I’d like to also reach out my hand so he knows things are cool on our end.” 

I shrugged. “Plus, Noah deserves to know how badass she is and that she can take care of herself.”

After dinner, on my way back up to my hotel room, I had my phone in my hand as I worked out the message to Noah. 

Me: Hey Noah, this is Joe. I got your number from Chase and Malcolm. This is a little awkward but I wanted to introduce myself. I’ve actually listened to your band- you’re really talented! The acoustic version of If I’m There was killer, seriously. 

Now in my room, I sat on the edge of my bed to send another text. 

Me: I’m texting you because I’m sure you saw the video of what happened with Trey and Y/N. I will firstly say, she’s fucking awesome! And I’m honored to be on this tour with her and the guys. Incredible musicians and incredible people. Gearing back to the whole Trey situation, he showed up out of nowhere; but I feel it’s important to let you know, at least from my side, that Y/N kicked ass. She stood up for herself and I could see she felt a world of relief.

Only a few minutes went by when Noah texted back. 

Noah Sebastian: Hey Joe, it’s Noah. I’ve heard a lot about you as well. Y/N has been a huge fan of yours for a long time. She was stoked about this tour, and yes she is awesome. Y/N’s special to a lot of us. She’s a genuine person and has a heart of gold; Chase and Malcolm as well. I appreciate your kind words. That means a lot. You know how it is- especially in this industry. And I did see the video, unfortunately. You were there?

I quickly responded to Hilary’s text before typing out my reply to Noah. 

Me: In case she needed support.

Noah Sebastian: Right, thank you for that. I hated what Trey said, I wish I could have stopped it myself but I also know how important it was for Y/N to have closure. I’m so fucking proud of her. 

I let out a loud laugh when I saw the meme Y/N sent me but swiped away the message for right now, continuing to text Noah. 

Me: You should be proud. She’s awesome and she’s over the moon about you. From what I’m told you really lit a fire inside her, and that seems to be shining through. My partner did that for me when I found her and I’m sure it’s the same for you as well. So I just wanted to pass this along and formally introduce myself. I’m sure Y/N will bring this up to you but I wanted to show you how I saw it on my end. I hope we can meet soon.

Me: Oh, also. Hollow Souls new record is going to be sick. What they’ve been working on is sounding great.

I busied myself the next long while getting myself packed since we were planning on leaving in a few hours to head to the next city. Once finished, I realized that Noah texted me back almost instantly after I sent the last text. 

Noah Sebastian: For sure! Thank you so much. I wish I could be there. But, I understand it’s not the right time. I do hope soon we can chill at my place to shoot the shit. Thank you again for sending me a text. Very kind of you and I’m sure we’ll talk soon. I can’t wait to hear her new album. We’re all very stoked about it. We’re also close to releasing our record, I’d love for you to check it out! 

Me: Hell yes!

READER

“And if you and I can make it through the night,” I hummed while sitting in my bunk on the tour bus. 

My laptop was perched in my lap as I loaded up Zoom, clicking on Dr. Poulos’ contact. It wasn’t our usual appointment day or time but with what happened the other day, I felt as if I needed an emergency session. It wasn’t because of the negative parts but for the first time in a long while, I felt good. My spirits were high and nothing could wipe the smile from my face. 

“Well someone seems like they’re in good spirits today.” Dr. Poulos’ voice sang through my speakers. 

Her graying hair was pulled back in a tight bun and she had black glasses perched high on her nose. 

“I am actually,” I smiled, the kind of smile that made the corner of your eyes crinkle. 

She tilted her head. “Care to elaborate?”

I began telling her the entire story of Trey and my afternoon with Joe from top to bottom; from that night up until now. 

“I’m very proud of you, Y/N for standing up for yourself and closing that chapter in your life. And Joe seems like he’s becoming a great friend in the aspect of telling you things you need to hear.” 

“Yeah, he is.” I nodded. 

Although I was in high spirits before this meeting, something shifted in my brain and I began to stare at the keyboard of my laptop. 

“What’s the matter Y/N? You’re slipping into disassociating thought,” Dr. Poulos’ voice brought me back.  

“Nothing,” I had a tight lip smile. 

“Y/N,” she warned. “We’ve talked about this; you need to be open and transparent.”

Reluctantly, I nodded with a sigh. “Okay, well-.” 

When she motioned me on with a nod, I continued. “How- fuck this is embarrassing. How do I stop running away?” 

“Do you grasp that’s what you’ve been doing to Noah?” 

“I do,” I admitted. “But it hasn’t been intentional. I love him, I’m- I just don’t want to become my parents.”

Dr. Poulos’ gave me a small smile. “It’s great that you’re seeking to address this pattern. Building healthy relationships often involves understanding and addressing the root causes of our behaviors.” 

“I’m trying.” 

“It might be helpful to reflect on past experiences and identify any underlying fears or insecurities that may be contributing to your tendency to run away from relationships,” she adjusted her glasses. 

“I know it’s my mother, I know it is. Noah seemed to know it too since he was there that day she reamed into me,” I said. 

Her eyes lit up. “Yes, I remember that day. You were very grateful for him being there weren’t you?” 

“More than anything. He’s my safety when I feel like I have none,” I answered. 

“That’s wonderful Y/N. In Addition, I suggest practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and communicating openly with Noah as your partner, rather than your friend, which can help build a foundation for more fulfilling and lasting connections. I remember you telling me you finally admitted your love for each other,” Dr. Poulos couldn’t hold back the wide smile on her face now. 

“Yes. I do, I do love him and I don’t want to do anything to hurt him. Noah’s already so hard on himself with everything.  I don’t want to be one more thing he’s hard on himself about. I want to help, be his escape, and his safe haven. I want him to trust I’ll stay because I want to; I will always stay.” 

She wrote something down in her journal before resting her chin in her hand as she looked back at me through her screen. “I know, Y/N. You’ve spoken about this often.  Seeking support in this form can also provide valuable insights and strategies for breaking this pattern. I believe the two of you can and you won’t run.”

I ran a hand through my hair, the length becoming a big annoyance lately. “You know so much about this, Dr. Poulos. I don’t know the first thing. I want to be able to communicate with him. Not do what I have been doing.” 

“Y/N, it’s normal. It’s critical that before you speak to Noah, you suspend any assumptions or conclusions that put you at odds with him. You absolutely need to approach him by making a generous assumption; and by giving him the benefit of the doubt. This is what it means to be a team, even when you’re feeling distant. You keep loving even when you are feeling as if you are unloveable. You’re not going to do what you did with Trey.”

“Trey.” 

His name still tasted bitter on my tongue. 

“Yes,” Dr. Poulos nodded. “You got your closure on that chapter. Now this is a new one.

“I can’t shake the fear sometimes. The fear of the feeling coming at me all at once and messing it up,” I shifted in my bunk. 

“What I suggest doing when you are feeling upset or angry is to own your emotions and realize that they stem from your interpretation of the situation, not from the facts of the situation. Your fears and deep-seated beliefs about your own sense of inadequacy, unworthiness, or unlovability often lie at the root of all those negative stories you tell yourself about why life is happening the way that it is.”

“Woah,” I blinked. “That’s-uh-a great observation.”

Dr. Poulos narrowed her eyes at me while steepling her fingers under her chin. “I have an assignment for you.”

“Oh, come on! You know how busy I already am,” I joked with a wave of my hand.

She let out a soft giggle. “Yes, well, this will be fairly simple.”

“Take a moment to challenge your assumptions, and allow the possibility that something completely different could be true. Like that, you are loved! And that with patience and respectful communication, you can experience something exceptional with Noah. You said his album is coming out soon, this party could be a great way to try this. Have you thought about going?”

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I said without missing a beat. 

“Wonderful Y/N, see this as an opportunity to vulnerably share something about yourself with Noah, be curious so that you, through this experience, can learn something with him, too.”

I’d be the first one to admit that at first, therapy wasn’t something I thought I needed. It was a waste of time to talk about my feelings with someone who didn’t understand. But right now, I was eating my words. 

“Joe was right,” I said after a few beats of silence. 

“About?” Dr. Poulos shook her head with confusion. 

“Discussing this further with you, thank you it helps,” I ended our session with a large smile. 

READER

“Not to be overly dramatic. I just think it's best. 'Cause you can't miss what you forget.” Joe sang into the microphone. 

I sat in my spot on the couch in the interview space, watching and singing along with a bright smile. 

“So, let's just pretend everything and anything between you and me was never meant,” he finished the song with a long breath. 

I, along with the interviewer, Jackson, clapped as Joe took a seat next to me on the couch. 

“That was phenomenal. We appreciate you being here with us,” Jackson beamed. 

My phone buzzed in my lap and with a glance downward, I felt my face warm at the name. 

Mochi 🍡: You look phenomenal, angel. 

“Thank you,” Joe nodded with a faint smile. “I’m sure I can speak for Y/N that we’re both glad to be here.” 

“It seems like the tour is going pretty well. Every show is sold out. How does that feel for you, Joe? I know Hollow Souls are used to this feeling,” Jackson said while fixing his notes, not looking at me. 

I tilted my head to the side, tongue brushing over my bottom lip. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

He finally looked my way and shrugged. “It's just that Hollow Souls is already pretty popular. You guys are used to playing in front of a sold-out crowd.”

“Are you saying that nothing, nowhere isn’t? Or did you forget that his last headlining tour had three back-to-back sold-out shows?” I questioned with a raised brow.  

“Well,” Jackson shifted in his chair across from us and looked at Joe. 

He merely ran a hand through his hair. “Number one fan.” 

“So,” Jackson cleared his throat. “Everyone online is begging me to ask you two this but what’s the dating situation? There’s so much chemistry between the two of you in the behind-the-scenes clips you guys post on Instagram. Everyone wants to know; are you two dating?” 

Joe and I shared a look then I made a show of rolling my eyes while crossing my legs. “Just because a male and female artist tour together, doesn't mean they’re dating.”

My phone buzzed again but this time, I opened the message to read it fully. 

Mochi 🍡: Tell him who’s boss, angel. You know who you belong to.

I cleared my throat while setting my phone screen down in my lap just in time for Joe to speak. 

“No, no. I’m spoken for.”

Jackson looked at me. “Y/N?”

“That’s my name, yes. Do you have a question about Hollow Souls or the tour?” I said with slight venom in my voice. 

Typically I didn’t mind interviews but every once in a while, I’d get an asshole of an interviewer that asked all the wrong kinds of questions. 

“Video surfaced online that Trey was at the show a few nights ago and it looked like the two of you were having an intense conversation. Is there a chance he’s joining Hollow Souls again?” 

My face twitched as something inside of me burned. I leaned towards Jackson with narrowed eyes. 

“Here’s what we’re not going to do; we’re not gonna focus on my love life, or personal life. I make art, not headlines. I’m cool because I'm me, and my band is cool. The art is what’s the focus, not anything else. I do feel as if people need to understand that having a private life is my right. I don’t feel comfortable sharing every aspect. Like I said, I make art, not headlines.” 

“That’s a bold statement to make. It comes with the whole fame territory,” Jackson tried to joke. 

“I refuse to allow this time in my life to be touched, tainted, or bastardized by anyone,” I finished while crossing my arms over my chest. 

While Jackson changed his direction and tone of questions towards Joe for the next couple of minutes, I bounced my knee as the anger continued to fest low in my gut until another text came in. 

Mochi 🍡: Fuck I love when you put douchebags in their place. You’re so sexy, angel. Fuck. I’m going to think about you bossing me around all night.

A hot flash of arousal took over every inch of me as I shifted in my spot on the couch, clenching my thighs together to curb the itch that burned there. 

“Everything alright?” Joe wondered when he saw the warmth on my cheeks. 

I cleared my throat. “Yep. Totally fine.” 

It would be so easy to call Noah to have our first phone sex but the thought of messing with him later sounded more fun.

“So, Y/N. I’d love to know what the future of Hollow Souls looks like?” Jackson questioned with a different tone. 

“See? It’s not that hard to ask questions that actually matter,” I teased with a smile. “But I don’t think we found ourselves because we always knew we wanted this style and this direction but we never really had the confidence to do that.” 

“With this record though, we finally have the assurance to know that we can make it work.”

“Is there inspiration behind this new album?” Jackson wondered. 

“I've always been really inspired by dark things and the supernatural for some reason. Ghosts, paranormal stuff, death, anger, sadness.” 

I gave pause when I realized that this wasn’t exactly a happy inspiration. 

“Well, anything that’s not happy basically inspires me, which sounds kinda messed up,” I admit with a laugh. 

“A lot of the new record, I wrote when I was having a really bad time mentally. I don’t like calling it depression but it seemed like that and I couldn’t pinpoint what my issues were, or what was wrong with me but I knew there was something wrong.” 

Joe watched with a proud smile and I knew that there were a few others back home watching with their own proud smile; my heart could feel it. 

“My problems weren’t tangible things, they weren’t things I could see or explain to people so in a way it was like they were ghosts or spirits that were haunting me,” I continued. 

Jackson rubbed his chin. “Why do you think that is?” 

I pursed my lips, thinking about my answer deeply. “I think a lot of people are afraid to put it out there and talk about it but we weren’t. I think that might be a big reason people have connected to the songs that have been released so far. I feel like for anyone who’s sharing feelings of topics like that, it’s a little bit scary but I feel it's more therapeutic and cathartic to write about that stuff, to talk about that stuff and put it out there. You feel better about it. To know that other people can connect to that makes you feel even better. As scary as it at first, it eventually just pays off and turns out to be good in the end.”

“Why do you think people can relate to it?” 

I shrugged. “I guess because our new album is pretty raw and honest. There’s a lot of topics people can relate to and I think it sounds pretty great, if I do say so myself. We’re pretty proud of it.”

Jackson leaned into his chair. “I would like to jump back to the haunting aspect of this album. Can you elaborate on what exactly is haunting you, if you don’t mind.” 

We’d be here all day if I did and frankly, it wasn’t his or anyone who was watching business. 

“I’m becoming a very private person as of late so I don’t need to go into the personal aspects of my life. Just know I’m moving past things, and I’m very content. Dare I say happy with where the future will be.”

Jackson nodded. “Fair enough. Would you say you’re hopeful for what the future will bring?” 

With a bright smile, I looked directly at the camera that had been pointed at us the entire time and winked. 

“Oh yes, more than hopeful.” 

Later on that night, when I was in the solace of the bathroom of the tour bus, I wore the skimpy red lace teddy I bought earlier. The necklace and bracelet glinted under the dim light as I extended my arm to take a variety of pictures; the sly smirk never leaving my lips. 

With four different pictures attached, I quickly typed out a message to Noah right on the dot at 10 p.m. 

Me: You were bold to text me earlier like that, mochi, I could barely contain myself. Here’s a little payback. Hope you’re all flustered and bothered, whatever you’re doing I suppose will have to wait. Dream of me. I love you.

Almost instantly, Noah texted back as I was swiftly changing into my pajamas for the evening. What I thought was one text became four right after the other. 

Mochi 🍡: Matt’s right next to me, angel. What if he saw this?

Mochi 🍡: fuck, my dick is throbbing right now but I can’t do shit about it. Consider this my karma.

Mochi 🍡: I can’t stop staring at the picture. Fuck, you’re gorgeous. Beautiful. A true definition of an angel. 

Mochi 🍡: I’m going to call you in a little bit. I need to hear your voice. I need it. 

Switching off the bathroom light, I walked across the narrow hallway to climb into my bunk and under the covers

Me:  I’m going to bed early tonight. Maybe we can talk on the phone tomorrow. I love you.

By the time Noah responded, I was already in a peaceful, dark slumber.

Mochi 🍡: Fuck, I love you too angel. So fucking much. 

READER

"Wait," Joe shook his head at us. "You guys do this after every tour?" 

Malcolm nodded as he held the door open for all of us. "Every tour. It's become a Hollow Souls tradition."

As we all crowded into the small tattoo shop’s lobby, Joe's eyes brightened with the realization. 

“Oh, so that's why you got the tattoo of the anime character on your ankle.” 

"Yep, I smiled brightly. "Noah and I got them together on my birthday." 

The buzzing was loud in the tattoo shop as I waved at the owner who had no problem staying open late for us tonight. We finished the tour strong tonight with a hype crowd and with the adrenaline still buzzing through us, we decided to get the tattoos as soon as we left the venue. 

Joe shifted on his feet while running a hand through his hair. “You’re positive you want to get the Reaper album art tattooed?”

"This album helped me through some dark times in my life. I need to do it, especially with what happened last week. It’ll be a great way to remember a great tour and the new friend I made,” I answered while bumping his shoulder with mine. 

After we all checked in and waited, Chase ruffled my hair. “It’s almost 10 p.m LA time, sweets.”

"Shit!" I cursed while quickly whipping out my phone from my pocket. "I can't believe I almost missed it!"

Me: I love you, Mochi. Last night of tour went off without a hitch. Currently getting our typical tattoos. I can’t wait to show you what I get. 

I sat on the bed, exposing my left thigh to the artist after she laid down the stencil, and struck up a conversation with everyone as I waited for Noah to respond. Surprisingly, tonight it took him a long while to text back which made my mind wander to what he was up to. My heart didn’t ache and my stomach wasn’t filled with nerves which meant it wasn’t anything terrible. 

After my risque picture I sent him the other day, we never had the chance to talk on the phone, but I knew that it still affected him because any chance he could, Noah would send me risque texts throughout the day.

“Thank fuck,” I breathed when my phone buzzed next to me. 

Mochi 🍡: I can’t wait to see it, angel. Also, sorry it took me so long to respond. I may have taken Salem to the pet store to spoil him with a few things. I hope you know I plan on keeping him for a bit once you’re back home. Mal said you guys will be busy in the studio so no need for Salem to be home alone. I love you too, angel. 

“I would ask who has you smiling like that but it’s pointless. There’s only one person who can do that,” Malcolm snorted while his artist wrapped up his tattoo. 

I stuck out my tongue at him. “Noah told me he took Salem shopping.” 

Chase rolled his eyes playfully. “And you say he’s not Salem’s dad yet.” 

Before I could set my phone down, another message came through; one I read with a fast beating heart. 

Nick R : February 23, 2022. 929 Angelus Street. Turn Right on Luna Ave. Overnight valet is already handled. No, Noah doesn’t know when to expect you. Don’t be late, Cinderella.

Nick R: The theme is red. I think you know why. Do with that what you will.

Oh shit, that was in just over two weeks. Which meant I needed a dress. And new shoes. A new hairstyle wouldn’t hurt either. 

With a smile, I responded back to Nick. 

Me: We will be there! Unlike Cinderella, I have no intention of losing my shoe and missing my Prince Charming.

Nick R: Oh good! We are merely the mice. 

CHASE

I grumbled under my breath as I scrubbed out the fresh red paint out of the dining room carpet. How many times have I told her to put a damn drop down? Y/N’s lucky I know my way around cleaning supplies and know how to get a stain out. 

Malcolm clicked his tongue against his teeth as he leaned against the wall, staring down at me as I continued to scrub on my hands and knees. 

“I must say, I love this sight of you. On your knees.” 

I snapped my eyes up at him. “Not fucking funny, Mal.” 

“I think she’ll be really excited for what Noah has planned,” he noted. 

“Oh she’s gonna lose it! In the best way,” I agreed while continuing to scrub. 

 “I think so too.” Malcolm placed a kiss on my lips before sauntering into the kitchen to get things ready for dinner. “How long do you think Y/N will be?” 

“Not sure,” I ran a hand over my buzzed head then threw in the towel; literally. 

“You know how she is when she’s let loose in the art supply store. I’d be shocked if she made it back before dinner,” I continued while hopping up on the counter. 

Malcolm began setting out the variety of ingredients and I reached for my phone next to me. 

Me: Noah, beware of paint all over the carpet.

Noah S: Already taken care of.

I showed Malcolm the text to which he smirked. “Did we expect anything less from him?”

Me: Good. Because even though I love her to the ends of the earth, paint is a fucking bitch to clean. 

Malcolm handed me a beer, one I took with a kiss of thanks, and slowly nursed it as Noah texted me back. 

Noah S: Here’s the address. I would love it if you and Malcolm come check it out. 

Me: Definitely. Let's plan for Friday?

READER

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, eyes locked on the things scattered all over the counter, I found myself dissociating into thoughts of earlier today when we were in the studio. We had one last song to record before we started the final touches but this song was the most important. It needed to be perfect. 

I needed to be perfect. 

Which is why 

“Sweets you’ve gone over the verse we can meet in the middle at least ten times now. I think it’s good.”

Chase reassured me as I came out of the vocal booth with a scrunched up face. I did not like how my voice sounded which prompted me to do vocal take after vocal take. 

I fell to the couch in between him and Malcolm. “I need this to be perfect. I hate how my voice is sounding. It can’t sound like this. It can’t.” 

“It sounds amazing, Y/N! I promise,” Malcolm said. 

“I just-,” I ran a hand through my long hair and groaned. “This is so important to me. I want him to know I’m here. And I’m not going to leave him.”

“Noah knows sweets, he knows. He’s so stoked for this record. You know he’ll love it.”

I tossed my hair on top of my head in a messy bun, exhausted with the length. I needed my neck to breathe. It felt as if I was suffocating under the weight of it. 

“Fucking hormones,” I eventually chuckled while wiping tears from my eyes. 

Malcolm gave me a weak smile while rubbing my back. “Any pain today?” 

“A little but not much. It’s bearable.” I informed them. 

Chase nodded while squeezing my knee. “Ok, if you need a break let us know. Don’t push yourself too much. You sound beautiful.”

Salem jumped on the counter, breaking me from my thoughts, and immediately I brought him up in my chest. His green eyes stared up at me in wonder and maybe a little bit of confusion with what he saw.

“Did you have fun with Noah?” I missed you so much,” I cooed. 

Noah dropped him off while we were in the studio, us just missing each other by mere minutes. 

My fingers scratched at Salem’s neck, now realizing the bright red collar and new tag. 

“Oh, dad did in fact spoil you while I was gone. New collar, new tag, a bunch of new sushi toys. Not to mention the bed that can fit a 20 pound dog,” I chuckled. 

My shoulders went rigid when I realized what I just said. 

Dad. 

I just called Noah Salem’s dad. 

Swallowing thickly at the acceptance, I then looked at the new tag and felt my heart jump into my throat; heat spreading from the tips of my toes to my scalp.

Oh my heart. 

Salem Sebastian-L/N. 

And on the front of the tag were symbols I’d never seen before. “Huh, that's weird. What’s with the yin yang and eye symbol?” 

Biting my lip, I set Salem down on the counter and picked up my phone instead, quickly dialing the number I had memorized so long ago. 

Noah picked up after the second ring. “Hi, angel.” 

I twirled a piece of fresh hair around my finger while leaning against the counter. 

“Salem Sebastian-L/N huh?” 

A quick beat of silence. “Yeah. Figured he needed a collar with his full name. I think he likes me, he was quite needy. Is that alright?”

“Definitely alright, mochi,” I smiled into the phone. “Do the symbols have any meaning?

“You’ll know soon, angel.”

“Okay then. Keep your secrets,” I groaned. 

Noah’s infectious laughter made my stomach flip. “Will do, Frodo.” 

“I think we are due for a Lord of the Rings marathon soon. You down?” I bit the inside of my cheek, hopeful for his answer. 

“Always down, especially with you.”

I did my best to hide my excitement and was thankful Noah wasn’t here to see the way I jumped on the soles of my feet. “Wonderful.” 

There was a long comfortable silence before his rich voice came through the speaker. 

“I miss you. I love you.” 

I played with my necklace. “I miss you too, Noah. I love you.” 

“We’ll talk later?”

It was now him who had the hopeful tone. 

“Always,” I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. 

“Okay.”

I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Goodnight mochi”.

“Good night angel.”

As I hung up the phone, Chase and Malcolm both popped their heads into the bathroom. They had an approving smile on their face. 

“Does it look bad?” I asked self-consciously. 

Malcolm was the first to speak. “It looks really good, sweets. We’re proud of you.” 

“New Era coming, huh?” Chase asked. 

“Yeah,” I nodded with a smile. “Yeah I think so. I’m ready for it.”

“Well good. Because we are too,” he knocked on the wall before the two of them disappeared in their bedroom. 

Hooking up the blow dryer, I began to dry my now darker and shorter hair, humming along to a song that had been stuck in my head all day. 

“I was lost but now I’m found.” 

Salem jumped up onto the closed toilet seat, watching me with bright eyes.

“We’re not perfect but we’re proud of who we are,” my voice echoed in the confines of the bathroom.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

[redstarwriting]

his girl | v. a sweeter song

earth 42!miles morales x fem!reader | miles morales x fem!reader

word count: 2.4k

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: language, spoilers (!), probably bad spanish, mentions of stab wounds, mentions of death, dead parents, mentions of blood, arguments

a/n: i love elaborating on things and tying everything together! it’s so fun :) i hope you all enjoy this chapter, it was fun to write and hopefully the story is still ✨captivating✨ to everyone reading. enjoy, y’all 🖤

his girl masterlist

previous chapter: iv. what can make me feel this way?

now reading: v. a sweeter song

next chapter: vi. i guess

───────────────────────────────

42 Miles frowns at you. “What? Why would I help him?” You roll your eyes. “Because he helped the love of your life not die. He’s also you! Isn’t that a good enough reason?” you snap, and he sighs. He looks at other Miles, frowning. “He has things I would kill to have, and you just expect me to help him go back to that? When you and I have to stay here and suffer all the time?” he asks, clearly upset. “He doesn’t have everything, Miles.”

“You know he can hear both of you?” Miles says, and you both look over at him. “Look, man, I get that you don’t want to help me. And that’s fine. I can do it myself. Just tell me, do you have Alchemax on this world?” 42 Miles and Aaron glance at each other before looking at Miles. There was, in fact, an Alchemax in this world. It’s where Aaron and Miles just were. See, Kingpin needed Miles to steal a certain piece of equipment so he could build a collider of some sort, but he wasn’t revealing all the details to the two of them. But 42 Miles is starting to suspect this Miles might be able to do something with whatever Kingpin was making. Which is equally as alarming, because tech like that has the potential to level the city if used wrong. And something tells him the earthquakes they’ve been experiencing has something to do with it, too. “Why?”

“I need to go there. Like I said, I don’t need your help. I can do what I need to do without you.”

“No, Miles. He’s gonna help you. Right?” you say, and 42 Miles sighs. “Mi amor, por qué? He just said he could handle it, didn’t he?” he asks, slightly annoyed. “Miles. You remember when you pissed me off really bad that one time? When you first became the Prowler, and I knew you were keeping something from me, but you refused to tell me?”

“I was just tryna keep you safe, (Y/n),” he says, and you shake your head. “I know the reasoning, it’s a stupid reasoning. And when you left me alone that one time, I was done, right?” you ask, and Miles looks at you with a frown. “Yeah.”

“Well, that’s what that Miles is going through right now. I’m not talking to him. You remember how much that sucked for both of us, don’t you?” 42 Miles frowns.

It did suck. It was before the two of you were dating, but both of you were clearly in love at the time. From your perspective, he kept disappearing on you, arriving to hang out only to apologize and say he had to go 5 minutes into it. Barely texting back when you reached out to him. You would see his location pinging in various places throughout the night. You were worried for him.

It was right after his dad died. You’d figured he’d gotten involved with the Cartel in some way to put himself and his family off their radar now that his dad was gone, but you couldn’t help but worry. Especially because there would be times when you went to see him, and he would have a split lip or a black eye. One time his arm was wrapped up, but you could see dried blood that seeped into the outside of it.

“Miles, what the hell is going on? This is the fourth time this week you canceled on me!” you say, frustrated that he looked at his phone and saying he had to go not even 15 minutes into the movie thee two of you agreed to watch in his room, curled up together in his bed and staring at his laptop. “(Y/n/n), I’m sorry, I just have to go do something,” he says, trying to keep it as vague as possible. You scoff. “You always have to go do something. When is the something you have to do gonna be hang out with me?” you ask, and he sighs. “That is something I have to do, too, but you don’t understand–”

“Then tell me, Miles! I’m so sick of this! You always say I don’t understand but when I ask you never say shit!” you exclaim, and Miles huffs. “Maybe cause even if I said, you ain’t gonna understand, (Y/n)! Ever think of that?!” he says, frustrated now too. He’s just trying to protect you from the shit he has to do now. You don’t need to know what’s going on, you just need to sit there, look pretty, let him buy you shit, and, above everything, stay fucking safe. “You’re so fucking frustrating, Miles,” you say, and he rolls his eyes. “Whatever, (Y/n).”

“Whatever?! Miles! Just tell me what the fuck is up with you!” you growl, and he frowns. “I can’t, (Y/n)! I can’t fucking tell you so just shut the fuck up about it and let me do what I gotta do to provide for you,” he snaps, and you shake your head. “I don’t need you to provide for me.”

“Yes. You do. You do, mamá do, mi tío do, all of you do. And I can. And I do,” he says, and you glare at him. “Have you ever considered I don’t need you to just provide money, Miles? Materialistic shit isn’t the only thing in the world that fucking matters,” you hiss, and he frowns. “Just fucking suck it up, (Y/n). We can watch the stupid movie when I get back.”

You laugh.

“No. You can watch the stupid movie when you get back. I’m done with you. I’m done with this,” you say, your voice colder than Miles has ever heard it directed toward him. “Yeah, okay. Sure, (Y/n),” he says, walking out of his room and out of the apartment. Rio wasn’t home, as she was busy at the hospital. And Miles still to this day doesn’t realize how you stayed in his room, crying from worry and a minor heartbreak thinking this was the end for the two of you. He was feeling the same way you were. But he pushed his feelings aside, putting himself in a blissful ignorance of thinking you wouldn’t actually keep your word. That he’d come home and see you curled up on his bed, passed out, and he’d have to wake you up and walk you to your home. Aaron always says he was particularly brutal that night, but he just used the fighting as a distraction against his conflicted feelings that very obviously would not leave the forefront of his mind.So he doesn’t really remember it all that much.

What he does remember is coming home to find his bed empty.

Frustrated, he threw one of his pillows across his room. You were supposed to be here. He was supposed to shake you awake, slinging his arm around you as he guided your tired frame back home. But you weren’t. And you weren’t there the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. And when Miles texted you, you wouldn’t respond. Every time he would try to go to your place, you would quietly say “Stop, Miles.”

It crushed him.

He started going on more missions, improving his approach as the Prowler and getting on Kingpin’s good side to the point where he never tried to figure out who the kid behind the mask was. All he needed to know was that he worked with Aaron Davis. Being trained by Aaron Davis. After all, at this point only an idiot would oppose the Cartel, so he figured the Prowler wasn’t and never would be a threat.

It went on for a month.

And during that month Miles was trying desperately to talk to you. But you kept brushing him off. It was pissing him off, but what pissed him off more was realizing the way you were slowly breaking down in front of him. You didn’t smile as much, you looked a mess, and all he wanted to do was hug you. It was then that Miles started to piece his feelings together. Rio pointed it out to him, and he was in denial about it. “Mijo, you like her,” she would say, and he would shake his head. “Mamá I like her as a friend. Nothing else.”

“¿Cómo crié a un hijo tan estúpido?” she mumbled walking away as Miles started arguing to her that he wasn’t stupid and that she raised a very smart son.

Then, the incident happened.

It was the first time he ended up in the hospital from his new gig. And it was the first time you talked to him. The end of the two of you talking resulted in the two of you confessing. He was lying in a hospital bed, looking up at your swollen eyes from your tears, and he realized that you were the single most beautiful thing in this world. And that he missed you terribly. His heart ached as he heard your shaky voice. “I’m sorry, Miles.”

“What you saying sorry for?” he mutters, using all his strength to lift his hand and wipe a tear away. You grab his hand, holding onto it like he was the only thing keeping you anchored to the world. “If anyone should be saying sorry, it’s me, (Y/n/n).”

“No, I’m the one who–”

“(Y/n). Mi amor. Mi vida. Mi luna. Don’t be saying no bullshit. You had every right to not talk to me for as long as you did. I shoulda told you what was up, and I will… just… not here,” he mutters, and you sniffle. “Tu amor?”

“Sí, mi amor,” he wipes another tear from your face. “Your life?”

“You’re the only reason I survived this. I couldn’t leave you here, alone. You’re everything, you kept me here. I fought to stay here for you,” he whispers, and you tear up for a different reason now. “Tu luna?”

“Mi luna bonita,” he smiles softly, gently rubbing your cheekbone with his thumb. “Tú eres mi amor, mi vida, mi luna, y mi felicidad. Te amo, (Y/n).” You stare at him with a watery smile on your face. “Te amo, Miles,” you whisper, and he gently pulls your face down, the two of you sharing a long overdue kiss.

42 Miles sighs, glancing over at 1610 Miles. Thinking about that time is never easy, though the thought of your lips on his for that first time always makes a warmth spread throughout his chest. “Don’t be the bad guy they’re trying to make you be, Miles. That’s not you. It never has been, and it never will be,” you say, and he looks at you, then at Miles again. He nods.

“Fine,” he begrudgingly agrees, and you smile at him. “Gracías, mi amor,” you say, and he rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Tío, can you call mamá? Tell her that (Y/n) needs urgent medical attention and make sure she gets it?” he asks, and Aaron nods. “Yeah. I gotchu, little man,” Aaron says, pulling his phone out. “When I get this knife out of my shoulder, I’m going with you,” you say, and the two boys snap their heads in your direction. “No.”

“Absolutely not,” they say at the same time, and you sigh. “But–”

“Baby, you need to rest. You ain’t coming,” he says, and you frown. “How do I know you won’t just kill each other.”

“Killing ain’t his style, amor,” 42 Miles says, thinking back to the fight. None of the people Miles took down looked dead. Just unconscious. “But it’s yours,” you say, and he shakes his head. “If I wanted him dead, he’d be dead by now. Like you said. He saved your life. Which means he saved mine. I’ll help and then get back to you as soon as I can,” he says, and you nod. “Please stay safe. Both of you.”

“We will be, mi vida. Promise,” Miles says, leaning over and kissing you softly. Miles watches with an aching in his chest. He wants this. He wants you. He can’t believe it took him traveling to a different universe to realize just how much you meant to him. As soon as he gets home, he needs to find you and apologize. Then he needs to stop Spot, save his dad, and tell you how he really feels about you. All in a day’s work for Spider-Man. As long as you accept his apology and love him back.

“Tío, take her back home, please,” Miles asks, and he nods. “You want me to put her on the couch or in your bed?”

“My bed. She’ll be comfortable there and then when I get back, she won’t have to move from that spot for a couple days,” Miles says, and you grin. “Does that mean I get unlimited cuddles?”

“Yes. Obviously,” Miles says with a scoff, and you smile. “Yay.”

“Sorry, but won’t her parents be alarmed that she’s staying at your place for that long? Like, I know they’re cool with her staying over and everything… but that’s a little excessive… wouldn’t you say?” 1610 Miles asks, and you frown slightly. “My parents are dead, Miles. Ms. Morales is my legal guardian until I turn 18,” you mumble, and Miles’ heart drops. Your parents? His dad? Who else is dead that he cares about on this world. “Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Miles,” you say, and 42 Miles nods slightly. “There’s no way you could have known,” he says. Miles still feels terrible, but you just give him a small smile as Aaron walks over, picking you up. “It was nice meeting you, Miles,” you say, and Miles nods. “It was nice talking to you,” he says, and you giggle. “I can imagine. Don’t fuck it up, alright?” you say to him, and he nods. “I won’t. Not this time, at least.”

“Good. I’ll see you soon, amor. I love you,” you say, and Miles kisses your knuckles. “I love you, (Y/n). I’ll be home in no time,” he says, and Aaron carries you out of his apartment.

After a few moments, 42 Miles turns to look at 1610 Miles. The two of them stare at each other in a silence before 42 Miles sighs.

“Let’s get you home, man.”

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『 his girl tag list 』

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『 itsv/atsv tag list 』

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*if you are italicized - i am unable to tag you for whatever reason, feel free to reach out and see if we can fix the issue

if you wish to be on either tag list, reach out and let me know! thank you to everyone for the support!🖤

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#miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #earth 42 miles morales x reader #prowler miles x reader #spiderman x reader #spider-man x reader #spiderverse x reader #atsv x reader #miles morales #earth 42 miles morales #spiderverse #atsv

[allysunny]

(You're) My Antidote Pt. 2 | Miguel O'Hara x Fem!Reader

ˡᵒᵛᵉˡʸ ᵐᶦᵍᵘᵉˡ ᵃʳᵗ ᵇʸ ᴷ⁵ⱽᵉʳˢᵉ ᵒⁿ ᵀʷᶦᵗᵗᵉʳ

ᵖᵃʳᵗ ¹ | ᵖᵃʳᵗ ² | ᵖᵃʳᵗ ³

Synopsys: It has been a few weeks ever since Miguel saw you glitch due to the antidote he'd given you. He's far too afraid to face you, and hasn't seen you in a while. Peter B. Parker talks some sense into his head, reminding him of what's truly important.

Words: 2.6k words

Warnings: Angst, fluff, exhausted-Miguel, but also very soft-Miguel, Peter B. being a great father and having actually good advice, pain and screaming, syringes, blood, untranslated Spanish (please correct me if any of it is wrong!). Do mention if I forgot something!

A/N: Hey everyone! So, I've finally gotten around to write Part 2 of this fic (I had nearly forgotten about it, so I'm very, very sorry for the delay), but here it is! I hope you all enjoy it, and I hope it was worth the wait!

“Miguel?”

The voice that called out to him was gentle, soft. The one voice he could listen to for hours and hours without ever getting tired.

Yours.

“Miggy… Wake up, my love…” He could feel your soft, deft fingers brushing his brown locks away from his face. You liked to get a good view of him at all times. You played with his hair for a while, and he hummed in satisfaction. He’d stay like this forever if he could, lost in your embrace and your touch, time suspended just for the two of you.

“Miggy, wake up… C’mon, we have things to do…”

No, all he had to do was stay in bed with you, while you ran your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp and making him forget about all his problems.

And then you tugged on his hair harder.

“Miguel?”

No Miggy? And why were you tugging on his hair so harshly? What was happening?

Ouch – that’d been a particularly hard tug. What the shock were you up to? It was far too early for you to be playing these sorts of games with him.

“Miguel? Miguel!”

Miguel’s eyes flashed open, and he blinked away the sleep.

Before him, was a red-haired baby, staring curiously at him, and back at her hand. Peter B. Parker quickly scooped her in his arms, talking to her in a soothing voice.

“C’mon Mayday, you’ve played with his hair enough. Let’s not hurt dad’s boss, alright? Give him a break.”

“¿Que coños estás haciendo aqui?” Miguel grumbled, running a hand through his now messy hair. It was bad enough he was asleep and not actually next to you but having mistaken Peter B.’s voice for yours annoyed him to no end.

“Jessica asked me to check up on you. According to her, you weren’t even supposed to be here.” Peter replied as his child climbed all over him and pointed her tiny web-shooters at the wall. “

“Yeah, well, I’m working. Not sure if you’re familiar with the concept,” he grumbled again, facing the monitors in front of him. Files and files and files on you, your health, your life, your family tree, his family tree, his DNA, just anything he could get his hands on. He’d fallen asleep on top of papers, each with a different combination of chemicals and elements, all of them experiments on a new antidote for you.

Failed experiments.

“I am familiar with the concept of work, Miguel, but it’d never occur to me to work myself to exhaustion while my wife suffered by herself at home.”

This seemed to get Miguel’s attention. Every single Spider-Person in the Society had warned Peter not to bother Miguel, and most importantly, to keep you off his mouth. Everyone knew what was happening to you at this point.

Pregnant with Miguel’s child, who was slowly killing you from the inside with 50% of his Spider DNA.

And everyone also knew that Miguel had been spending unhealthy amounts of time inside his office instead of at home, by your side. They were, of course, all far too scared to say something. He didn’t seem to budge, not to subtle pleas, not to direct asking. He was hellbent on finding a cure.

Miguel’s nostrils flared and he huffed, raising a finger, and pointing right at Peter’s face.

“This is none of your business, Parker.” He said through gritted teeth, anger evident in his eyes.

“Yeah? Well, I don’t care. You might not care about anyone’s lives other than hers, but I am a husband too. And I would ditch everything – and I mean everything – to be with her at a time like this. Especially if I knew… If I knew she might…”

Miguel slammed his hands down on his desk, the sound echoing through his office.

“Do not finish that sentence. Don’t you dare.” Although he was furious, his voice was nothing but a whisper, and tears threatened to spill from his eyes.

“Alright, I won’t. And then what, Miguel? Forget this. Go home to [Y/N]. She needs you right now.” Mayday crawled on her father’s arms once again, and he rocked her gently. “Think about how she must be feeling. Terrified, all by herself, without her husband by her side.”

Miguel’s shoulders hunched. He was usually a tower of a man. But right now? He felt as small as possible.

“I can’t go back home,” he whispered, shoulders shaking. “I can’t go back home without an antidote. How am I supposed to face her? How am I supposed to look her in the eyes and tell her, her supposed genius of a husband can’t find a cure to the child that’s killing her?” When Miguel turned to face Peter, he was crying, and his eyes were drowning in sorrow. “Her screams, Peter… No man should hear such screams come from his wife… And I’m failing her… I don’t know what to do…”

Peter was stumped.

He’d never seen the cold, apathetic, always professional leader of the Spider Society behave like this. Sure, he seemed to be heartless and a jerk, but he knew that when it came to you, Miguel was willing to hold the weight of the world in his shoulders.

And it seemed like right now, he was.

Peter placed a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Go home, Miguel. Go to her. You really think you’ll ever disappoint her? She knows how hard you’ve been working for her. Just… Go to her, alright? Before you can’t and you blame yourself for the rest of your life.”

Peter’s words did something to Miguel, and he felt his heart ache. Slowly he nodded.

“Thank you.” Nothing else needed to be said. Miguel wasn’t one for words, but Peter recognised the weight behind the ones he had just uttered.

Within seconds, a portal had been opened, and Mayday was happily waving at the man that walked through it.

The house was quiet. Almost too quiet, but he quickly picked up on the sound of the TV coming from your shared bedroom. He took off his shoes and made his way to the source of the noise.

If Miguel were speaking the truth, he’d say he was terrified. He had spent the past two weeks working non-stop to find a cure and had only checked on you three times.

He was dealing with a bunch of different emotions, all gut-wrenching in nature and far too difficult to understand. He didn’t want to see you like this, feeble, weak, laying down in bed as the baby growing inside of you sucked what little was left of your life. He wanted to remember you vibrant and full of life, full of colour and smiles.

He didn’t want you to see him like this either. Tired, exhausted, dishevelled. Dark bags under his eyes, oily hair that had seen better days. He’d been working non-stop for you.

He didn’t want to come home only to tell you he couldn’t find an antidote yet, that you’d have to suffer more. Couldn’t deal with the failure.

But (as much as he hated to admit it), Peter was right.

Although he wasn’t ready to accept defeat, he didn’t want to take the time he had with you for granted. Shock, he’d been doing far too much of that.

He approached your bedroom and his gaze settled on you, neatly tucked in your bed, hands rubbing soothing circles on your belly.

You looked pale. Fragile, He was afraid to even speak, should the quietest whisper tear you apart.

And still, you turned your head to face him, and the whole world lit up within your smile.

“MIggy!” You exclaimed and tried your best to sit up even straighter. You opened your arms for him, and, just like a moth to a flame, he was instantly drawn to you. He kneeled by your side and laid his head near your hands. Your fingers reached into his hair and massaged his scalp, just like you knew he liked.

“Lo siento…” he sobbed into the mattress, afraid to meet your eyes. “Lo siento tanto, cariño…”

“Shhhh…” you tutted, hands reaching to his jaw, so you could cup it and force him to look up. When he tries to look away, you grip his chin with whatever strength you have left, and he finally meets your eyes. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

“No, my love, I’m so sorry, I’ve been so focused – ”

“I know,” there were tears in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Miguel was always so strong for you. It was your turn to be the strong one. How ironic. “But you’re here. You’re with me. With him.”

“Him?” Miguel asked, looking at your belly.

“I just feel it.” You offered him a smile, and he tried his hardest to reciprocate, ignoring the ache in his chest. Ever since he’d seen you glitch, Miguel had been afraid to show even the smallest of smiles. He was afraid the smallest of joy he felt around you would be taken away just as quickly.

After the first time, he’d refused to give you any more of that godforsaken antidote. Still, there’d been aftershocks. The following days, he’d seen you glitch once or twice, but it eventually faded away with time. On one hand, he was glad.

On the other, it only made him worry more. The glitching was over.

But you were still in pain.

“Mind if I sit next to you?” he asked, taking your hand in his and kissing it.

“Only if you shower first. You reek of Spider Society, Miggy, and the sheets are clean.”

He smiled once again and did as you asked, hopping in the shower, and washing the exhaustion and grime of the day off him. When he was ready, he put on a pair of sweatpants and walked into the bedroom, relishing in the way your breath hitched as you looked at his bare torso.

“Necessitas algo, mi amor?” he asked, raising an eyebrow comically. You looked away, cheeks heating up with embarrassment. You’d been married for years, and he still had this effect on you.

“Yeah, for you to get under the covers with me right now. But put a shirt on - you’re distracting me from my show!” Miguel chuckled, and he was surprised at how long it’d been since he’d last heard it.

“What’re you watching?” he asked, lifting the covers so he could sit next to you. He did so gently, afraid to disturb your peace – and the baby inside of you that thank heavens was giving you some rest.

“Pasiones Entrelazadas,” you replied, leaning into him. His touch had you melting, and you pointed at the television in front of you. “Isabella was getting married to Luis, but his evil twin Diego kidnapped him and took his place, and now Isabella thinks Diego is Luis.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah, and Marisol, their mom, well, she’s totally on Diego’s side, because if it weren’t for Luis, Diego would be the heir to her ex-husband’s money.”

“And why doesn’t she like Luis? Isn’t he her son as well?” Miguel shook his head, trying to keep up with the plot of another of your wacky shows.

“Well, Luis is actually the son of another man.”

“¿Qué?!”

“So, Marisol actually slept with two men when she was younger. She was married to Xavier, this big CEO guy, but she’s a little slut so she was fooling around with Antonio on the side. Xavier found out and divorced her. She found out she was pregnant shortly after. Luis is Antonio’s son, but Diego is Xavier’s. And if it weren’t for Luis, Diego would be entitled to his father’s fortune.”

Miguel was too stunned to speak.

“[Y/N], mi amor, that makes no sense.”

“Shhhh – Isabella is about to sleep with Diego!” You shushed him again, gesturing with your hands to keep him quiet.

“How can they be twins and still – “

“Shhhhhhhh!”

Miguel sighed.

“Fine, fine. Let’s watch.”

And you did.

For about ten minutes, before you fell asleep on his shoulder – not a rare thing to happen.

With all the care in the world, Miguel eased you down, fetching your pillow and propping it against your belly in the way he knew provided most comfort. He leaned over your body and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek.

Perhaps all would be right. Perhaps you could endure this together, as long as you had each other. Perhaps, all would be okay.

These were Miguel’s thoughts as he drifted to sleep.

And then they were promptly interrupted by a loud, shrill scream, and the body next to him contorting in pain.

“Honey? Honey, I’m here!” He yelled, turning on the lights and sitting up to get a good look at you. You were sitting up as well, hands instinctively wrapped around your stomach. It’d become your priority after you got pregnant – the baby came first. Even if it was the very thing that was killing you.

Miguel could see you convulsing, limbs twitching and twitching, and you kept on screaming. He quickly sprinted towards his home office, opened a drawer on his desk and removed the (original) antidote and its gun, returning to your bedroom in the blink of an eye.

He basically threw himself on his knees next to you and grabbed your arm.

Once you realised what he was about to you, you tried prying your arm from him, crying loudly.

“No!” you screamed, tears streaming down your face. “P-Please! Don’t – Miggy, don –” your words were interrupted as another scream was ripped out of you. You fell flat on the bed as your body twitched, and Miguel had to try his best to keep himself under control. The woman he loved the most was suffering. She was convulsing and screaming some of the most blood-curdling, truly horrifying screams he’d ever heard. And yet, she was begging him not to use the antidote on her.

“My love, I’m so sorry… I have to…” he said, grabbing hold of your arm once again.

“No!” You sobbed, thrashing around the bed, silk sheets flying in every direction. “You’ll hurt him! God – no, please! Miggy, it hurts! Miggy, no –“ Another scream.

And another.

And another.

And another.

Miguel had two choices. He could stand by and watch as whatever was inside of you killed you. He could simply wait it out and watch as unimaginable pain consumed your every limb. He could wait and see what happens.

He could wait. And it’d be too late.

Shock it.

He did not need to think it twice. Miguel grabbed your arm and injected the antidote in your veins.

You were still in a matter of seconds, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling with tears in your eyes.

“Miggy?” you whispered; voice nearly broken.

Miguel looked at you and slowly brushed the hair away from your sweaty forehead.

“I’m here, mi amor. I’m here,” he repeated these words over and over again, reassuring you with his voice.

“Miggy… I think…” your eyes teared up once more. “Miggy I… I peed myself…” You closed your eyes and cried silently, looking away from him, which made Miguel’s heart break. You’d gone through thick and thin together, and peeing yourself was going to make him think less of you?

“Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?” Miguel got up and slowly peeled the bedsheets from you to reveal your exposed legs.

That’s when all the air was sucked out of his lungs.

You hadn’t peed your pants. Not at all.

That was blood.

A/N: And that's it! I hope you've all liked it, hehehe. I'm sorry if the show seemed real shitty - I used to watch telenovelas with my nana when I was younger, and I swear their plots were all like this. We'd then sit on her porch and discuss whatever wacky plot was going on this time. It was fun.

Anyways, I hope you all have an amazing day ahead!

Taglist

@tarjapearce , @estella-satn , @meganswife , @cold-blooded-girls , @marcswife21 , @edgycatx

I'm not very sure how to tag people, so in case this doesn't work, I'm sorry!!!

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara scenarios #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x you #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #miguel o'hara x f!reader #miguel ohara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #atsv x reader #atsv x you #across the spiderverse #miguel spiderman #across the spiderverse fanfiction #spiderverse x reader #spiderverse fanfiction

[lovingmattysposts]

Eastside 11

P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17

summary: growing up in the outskirts of Boston wasn't really pretty. Life wasn't that great for most people, most people. You had Matt and no one fucked with you when Matt was standing by your side. The chief's daughter and the bad boy deliquent. A perfect love story?

warnings: sad, mentions of drugs, fighting

matt pov

I waited. I waited for 2 hours and she never showed up. I paced back and forth of the tracks. What if something happened to her? She's not responding to any of her texts. I was freaking out. I scrolled anxiously through my texts messages that were left unanswered, but they were read.

She read them, but she didn't answer. "What?" I whispered to myself as I scrolled through the now read messages. I felt my phone start to buzz before seeing Nick's name pop up. I slid it open and pressed my ear against the phone.

"Hello?" I breathed. "Matt where are you? What happened with Slim?" He asked through the phone I let out a breath and looked down at my feet. "Yeah everything's handled. He took the money and just said to get it to him by the end of the week" I explained. Nick let out a breath.

"Okay good. Everything okay with Y/n?" He asked. I sighed. "I got Slim off my back about it, but she was suppose to meet me at the tracks two hours ago and she hasn't shown up" I swallowed, feeling worry start to fill my chest.

"She read all the messages I sent her I just don't know what she's thinking" I said pressing my hand against my face. Nick sighed though the phone. "Listen she's probably just upset about the dance thing. Just give her some time, Chris started throwing up blood. You need to come back" He explained making me look around me.

Where was she?

"Alright, I'm coming" I breathed before shutting off the phone and glancing around the tracks one more time before stepping off them and walking back in the direction of my house. I knew she was at home, but something told me something was wrong.

-

y/n pov

The next day was hard. I barley moved out of bed. I just woke up and stared at the wall, unable to move. Unable to think about anything other than the absolute pain corsating through my body. I felt like a shell of a human being.

Matt texted me what felt like 100 times last night. I responded to none of them. I felt like I never even knew him. A drug dealer? How could I be so dumb? Now looking back on it. Every sign that I missed, he made it so obvious. How did I miss it?

Either way it didn't matter. None of it did. Nothing he ever did or said. Absolutely none of it. I guess that's what hurts the most. I just blinked at the wall. Not wanting to get up, start my day, live, breath, exist. Fuck. It. All.

I heard my door creek open. I glanced over seeing my dad peeking his head through the door. I glanced away from him looking back at the wall. He stepped into my room before slowly shutting the door. I didn't react as I felt him sit down at the edge of my bed.

"Do I need to kill him?"

I didn't respond. Staring blankly at the wall, tears filling my eyes. He sighed as he moved closer to me and placed his hand on my head. "Honey, you're scaring me" He whispered looking down at me. I didn't look at him as a stray tear fell from my eye onto my cheek.

I wish I could turn this into a sweet moment with my dad. But I couldn't feel, I couldn't speak. I didn't even want to look at him. "I could arrest him, I'm still a cop you know" He smiled down at me. I didn't even try to wipe the tear as it slid down my face.

"I could probably find something on him" He sighed. "A parking ticket, assulting an officer. Fleeing from police, well me." He said motioning to himself. I just listened to him speak.

"I could try to frame him" He chuckled, but stopped as he looked down at my face. He rubbed my shoulder with his hand. "Honey, you have to eat something, you've been in your bed all day" He stated softly. I closed my eyes trying to hold back the tears.

The reason I wasn't talking, I wasn't reacting, is because when I do all I do is cry. I didn't have anything to say. I had no fucking words left in my throat. I barley had any liquid felt in my body.

"I could order some food from the taco place you love" He said leaning down to me. "I'll even let you get the queso" He smiled. I shook my head, food sounded disgusting.

"No tacos? You never say no to taco night" he said looking down at me. I closed my eyes.

"Eat it"

"No" He laughed pushing it away from his face. I frowned sticking out my bottom lip. "I don't want all that nasty shit on my taco" He laughed looking down at me. I looked down at the taco in my hand.

"Are you kidding? This is the best fucking taco on the planet and for 3 buck? A steal!" I cheered standing up on my bed. He laughed shaking his head looking up at me. I tilted my head down at him as he smiled sheepishly up at me.

"It's not my fault you like meat and cheese you basic bitch" I joked. He raised his eyebrows as he stood up, matching my height on the bed. "Oh yeah?" He laughed looking at me. I stepped back smiling. He reached down grabbing my sides, attempting to grab me. I laughed as I struggled against his grip, holding the taco out of the way.

He picked me up before dropping me onto the bed and hovering over me, causing us to erupt into a fit of laughter. "Matttt, my taco" I whined as it was now slightly crushed. He shook his head looking down at me, before connecting his lips to mine. I kissed him back smiling, before pulling back and taking a bite out of the taco.

He shook his head as he looked down at me. "Taco first, boyfriend later" I said as I chewed. "Boyfriend now, taco later" He smiled pushing the taco out of my hand and attempting to kiss me again but I moved my head.

"I'm eating!" I laughed. He buried his head into my neck laughing.

I opened my eyes letting out a breath at the memory so long ago, before he started mysteriously disapearing. How could it all be fake? Why would he do that to me? Fake it? I didn't understand.

"Maybe you should you pick it up? Get out of the house for a bit? Breathe some real people air" He sighed. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I attempted to take in a breath but it was choppy and caused a sob to come out of my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut as I cried.

My dad took in a breath before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a hug. I cried against his shoulder as he hugged me.

"I know it hurt now, but I promise one day it won't" He said as I cried. Maybe that was true, but right now it felt like this pain was never ending and that it would never go away.

matt pov

She still didn't respond to any of my texts the next day. I started to get worried. So I called her. No answer. I pulled my phone down before pulling on my shoes. I just had to make sure she was okay. She was starting to scare me. She didn't seem that upset when I left her at the dance. I just had to know she was okay.

It wasn't long before I turned the street down to her house. I looked down at my feet as she walked. I had an uneasy feeling in my chest. Like something was wrong. I looked up before seeing y/n walking towards me.

She paused, froze when she saw me. I stopped too, my face turning into confusion from the way she was looking at me. She turned on her feet before walking the other direction. I furrowed my eyebrows before walking after her.

"Y/n" I stated. She didn't stop walking, if anything she walked faster. I shook my head as I ran up to her and grabbed her arm. All of the sudden she turned harshly before I felt her hand come up to my cheek fast and hard.

I pressed my hand to my cheek that was now burning from the impact. I looked up at her in shock. Her eyes were red and puffy, like she'd been crying for hours but her face wore an angry expression.

"Y/n, what the fuck was that?" I said looking down at her as I rubbed my face. She shook her head as tears filled her eyes once more. I shook my head as I placed my hands on her shoulders.

"Y/n what's--"

"Don't touch me" She said through gritted teeth stepping away from my touch. I froze looking at her. She shook her head as she looked off to the side, her face looked in pain.

"I can't believe you-" Her voice broke and she swallowed looking back at me. "You're a liar" She almost whispered looking at me. I stepped forward and she stumbled backwards.

"Baby, what are you talking about?" I breathed looking at her, begging, pleading for her to give me some sort of answer one why she was so upset. "I'm not your baby!" She yelled at me. My heart dropped.

"How many 'baby's' do you have? How many girlfriends huh?" She asked shaking her head. My face turned in confusion and I just shook my head as she looked up at me, completely broken.

"I just just a good fuck huh?" She shrugged nodding at me. My face dropped. "Thats all?" She tilted her head a me, tears flooding her eyes. I felt like my entire world was falling at my feet. No.

"Y/n--No you don't understand-" I said reaching for her. She ripped her arm away. "Y/n please, listen to me. I can--I can explain everything just listen to me please" I stuttered quickly trying to get the words out, she shook her head.

"Don't bother, Cecilia already told me everything" She said looking at me. My face dropped. Cecilia? No. God, please no. I shook my head. "You're gonna believe her words over mine?" I breathed shaking my head. What the hell did she say to her?

"No" She shook her head. "I believe your words against yours" She mumbled glaring at me. I shook my head in confusion. "She took a video" She shook her head.

"You're a drug dealer?" She shook her head looking at me. My heart dropped to my toes. I sighed looking down at my feet. "Yes okay? Yes I deal drugs, but y/n I am not cheating on you. I just had to say it, you don't understand--" I said shaking my head.

"Don't bother trying to explain it, I'm not listening" She mumbled turning on her on feet and starting to walk away. I ran after her, grabbing her shoulders and turning her around.

"Get off me!" She screamed, making me drop my arms from her. I shook my head my eyes filling with tears. "There's no one else. I promise, Y/n they were going to hurt you---I-I had to make sure they didn't so I just said--" I said quickly letting the words fly out of my mouth.

"I don't think you say "waste your time on Y/n see if I care", really makes me think you were trying to protect me" Tears streaming down her face as she spoke to me. I can't lose her. I fucked up so bad. I cannot lose her.

"I promsie you I was. Please y/n you're my everything. I can't lose you. I promise--" I said shaking my head pleading with her. She shook her head.

"I'm tired of your fucking promises, because you're a fucking liar." She spat looking at me, shaking her head. I felt my heart pounding against my chest.

"I'm not your baby i'm not your everything, I'm not your girlfriend" She almost whispered before reaching up and pulling off the necklace around her neck and snapped it, throwing it to the ground next to my foot.

My heart broke, along with the necklace as I stared at the necklace on the ground. I swallowed looking up at her as she walked off. I looked up, biting my lip from the tears starting to spill over my eyes.

As I watched my entire life walk away from me.

-

"Is everything okay?"

I've been staring at the wall for hours. Unable to move. Unable to think. I just wanted to disappear. Nothing else in the world mattered to me more than her, and I was stupid enough to forget that and now I've lost that completely.

I didn't look up at Nick as he spoke to me. I just glanced down from the wall to the necklace in my hands, running my thumb over it. Nick looked down at my hands and he took in a breath before walking over next to me.

"I'm sorry Matt" He breathed wrapping his hands over my shoulders. I turned away from him not wanting Nick to see me cry. I don't think he's ever seen me cry before.

"How's Chris?" I said barley above a whispered. Nick sighed releasing his arms around me. "He's gonna be okay, he's sleeping right now" Nick nodded. I nodded looking down at my feet. Silence fell between us as I looked over at him and he scanned my face.

"Nick" I started looking at him. "I don't wanna do this anymore" I whispered shaking my head. He just looked at me for a second before licking his lips and looking towards the side.

"I know, I don't either" He agreed, almost shocking me. "After seeing Chris get hurt I-" Nick sighed looking down and then looking over at me. I just studied his emotions.

"It's not worth it" I finished shaking my head. He nodded looking at me. I looked down at the necklace in my hands. "None of this was worth it" I said quietly. Nick stood up off the couch and looked down at me.

"Matt, we can't get out of it" He shook his head, making me look up at him. I furrowed my eyebrows. He shook his head running his hands through his hair. "Slim he--He'll come after us if we stop supplying it's not that simple" Nick said shaking his head. I looked down at my feet.

I took in a breath before throwing the necklace across the room and pressing my hands to my face. Nick just looked down at me, unfazed by the sudden outburst.

"Well fuck Nick--We have to think of something!" I yelled standing up looking at him. He glared at me. "You think i haven't thought of every outcome of this situation Matt?" He yelled back at me. "He goes down he's dragging our asses with him!" He screamed at me. I clenched my jaw looking down at my brother. I just shook my head.

"Well think of something else" I glared him. "I lost my girlfriend" I said shaking my head. Nick just looked at me. "And that may not mean a whole lotta shit to you Nick, but she was my everything--I can't survive without her--I--" I turned my head feeling the tears start to fall out of my eyes.

"I need her" I almost whispered as Nick stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around me as I cried against him. I heard a creak in the floorboard making me look up. I saw Chris walking over to us. I wiped my eyes as he approached us.

"I agree" He said looking at us. "We have to get out of this" Chris said looking up at Nick, then back down at me before wrapping his arms around me as well as Nick.

tag list: : @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking @iloveneilperry @chalametbich @dsmja @bernardsleftbootycheek @lovingsturniolo @aoxash @idrkk-123 @gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath @babagurlrichey

#matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

[annasfantasies]

Pillow fight

/friends to lovers, Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summery: your friend Bucky is back from mission and visited you

Warnings: kissing, inappropriate thoughts, grammar, female nickname(doll), LET ME KNOW IF ANYTHING ELSE

Word count: 1493

ENGLISH ISN’T MY FIRST LANGUAGE

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

I was reading in my living room when I was interrupted by a knock on the front door. I sighed and placed a bookmark between two pages of the book, stood up and walked to the door through a small hallway, covered in a brow blanket.

Before I opened the door, I got on my toes and looked through the peephole. Surprise shot through my whole body. I quickly unlock the door and open them.

There he stood. Messy brown hair, sharp jawline, bright blue eyes staring right at me, pink lips -I've dreamed about them so many times that it's embarrassing- that are turned into small smile.

"What are you doing here?!"

I asked a little too loudly and threw myself onto him. His strong arms circled around my waist whilst mine were around his neck. I buried my face into his neck, his cologne hitting me right away. He always smells so good.

I haven't seen him in days.

I could feel his smile get bigger against my hair. "Promised you to come see you right after I'm back." He whispered.

"Yeah but you said that you would be back the next Friday." I said and pulled away to look at him, our arms still around each other.

He looked at me and moved his right hand to my face to brush away my hair. My heart skipped a beat and I could feel my cheeks turning into light pink colour.

"The mission just ended sooner than we expected." He was still looking at me. This man is perfect. And my crush on him grows bigger yet again.I nod in understanding.

"So can I come in?" He asked after few seconds.

My eyes widened. I got lost in my thoughts and his eyes and the feeling of being so close to him that I forgot to invite him in."Of course." I nodded sharply and chuckled nervously.

We pulled away from each other, I turned and went inside. Bucky followed me.

Once we were I inside he closed the door behind himself, took his shoes off and followed me to the living room.

"Do you want tea, coffee or beer?" I asked him and watched as he walked to the sofa and sat down.

"Water, please." he smiled. I turned around and made my way to the kitchen. I got out a clean glass and filled it with water. Then I went back and handled him the glass and sat next to him. He thanked me and took sip, after he placed it on the coffee table.

I sat next to him and pulled the blanket tighter around me. "So... how was the mission?" I slightly tilted my head to my right and frowned a little.

"It was good. Everything went smoothly." He said and got more comfortable  by spreading his legs and throwing his head on the sofa. There is something so attractive about men doing this. I had to look away and hold the blanket tighter.

"How have you been?" I hear him say so I look at him again. He is looking at me again and having that soft little smile on his lips.

"Except being stressed from work I was actually good." I say, matching his smile.

He frowned. "That idiot is giving you hard time again?" He really doesn't like my boss.

"Yes, plus do you remember the colleague I told you about like two weeks ago?" I pull my knees to my chest so now I'm sitting with my front turned to him.

"The one that acts like creep?" He straightens up and tilts his head again. He looks like he is ready to track him down and do illegal things to him.

"Yes." Before I can continue he cuts me off.

"Did he do something to you? If I find out that he tried to touch you without your consent then I will find him and-"

"No no, he didn't do anything." I quickly cut him of as well before he can continue and tell me how he would kill him. "He just gave me flowers and chocolate."

He narrowed his eyes and frowned. "I don't like him."

I shook my head at him and chuckled. "Me neither, but you said to tell you everything he does, so."

"I know." He says and after few minutes of a rain being the only thing being heard he placed his legs on the coffee table.

I glared at him even thought he couldn't see me because he was looking out of a window, he could feel me staring at him tho because I could see  smirk growing on his lips.

I took one of many pillows I had on the couch and hit him with it in the face. "Hey!" He exclaimed and glared at me. "Why would you do that?" He asked innocently.

"Put those nasty feet of my table." I narrowed my eyes at him and tried not to laugh.

"Or what?" He licked his lips, my eyes automatically dropped to them for a second and then the smirk was back and even bigger.

"Or I will hit you again." I try to at least sound a little intimidating and confident but fail.

"Oh I'm scared." He said sarcastically and threw his hands in the air beside his head.

I stretched out to hit him again but he caught my wrists and hold them above my head.

"Hey!" I complained and tried to get out of this hold but failed. "You can't do this"

"Why not?" He tilted his head to the side and smirked at me.

"It's against the rules." I raised my brow and say it like it's obvious.

He just laughed at me and shook his head. "Who made this rules?"

"I did" I rolled my eyes and tried to get free again. That made him tighten his hold and raise his eyebrow.

"Stop trying, we both know there is no chance for you to get free."

I rolled my eyes and tried again. This time he moved his flesh hand to my waist and pushed me on the sofa; so now I was laying on my back and he was on top of me still holding my hands above me with his other hand. Well, at least he took his feet off the table.

In the process I accidentally dropped the pillow. "Bucky!" I gasped.

He licked his lips again. His lower body is between my legs and dangerously close to my pussy. I bet I look like a tomato right now. "What will you do now hmm?"

I opened my mouth to say something, anything but nothing came out. My breathing got heavier, my temperature grew higher and my pulse quickened.

"Cat got your tongue, doll?" He moved closer. It wasn't the first time he called me 'doll' but every time I get butterflies. The nickname will be the death of me.

"Hmm?" He tilted his head to a side when I didn't reply. I swallowed hard and his eyes dropped to my throat. I don't know why but they seemed darker. His grip on my waist and hands tightened causing me to bite my bottom lip. A whimper almost came out of me but luckily got stuck in my throat.

He looked into my eyes again and moved closer, our faces just millimetres away from each other and our noses almost touching. "I like it when you blush."

Oh god, this man knows what to say to make girl nervous, and what to do to make her horny.

His hand released my hands and slid to my face. He cupped my left cheek and stroked it.

I opened my mouth to say something but I don't know what. This is the first time we were this close. Him being on top of me, holding me and cupping my cheek. I always dreamed of this and other things that involved Bucky.

He moved again and our noses were touching. "Bucky." I breathlessly said. Are we about to kiss? Am I dreaming, drugged or is this really happening?

He said my name and gave me the look where he was silently asking if it's okay. I nodded and he finally leaned in.

Our lips touched, our eyes closed and butterflies exploded in my belly. We kissed like our lives depend on it. It's full of passion but also hunger.

He pulls away when our lungs burn due to a lack of oxygen. I could still feel the feeling of his lips agains mine.

Now that I know how he kisses I need more of it. I put my hands on his cheeks and pulled him back. This one was even better. Deeper.

I suddenly felt his tongue sliding across my bottom lip which caused me to open my mouth in shock. His warm tongue slid into my mouth and found mine. We fought for dominance but he won. For now.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

A/N: hii this is my first fic I have ever written in English so please tell me if there are any mistakes, thank you (if anyone will even read it😭). Feel free to leave comment or reblog🫶

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky fic #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns imagine #smut #fluff #imagine #fan fiction #fan fic writing #fan fic stuff #marvel

[pjoxreader]

Hello! Can I have Percy, Nico and Jason reactions to their ex-lover saving them from impending death at the hands of the cruel monster and catching feeling again for them, when they casually bridal carry them to the Camp? Let’s just say Reader is hella strong and protective person, doesn’t matter their godly lineage. Love complicated relationships, so that why I’m asking!

Ex-Reader Saves the Boys

((Thank you for the request! Love me some angst and fluff so I hope you enjoy!))

Percy Jackson

-This was it, this is how he died. Hanging off a cliff face with no energy to use his powers or even pull himself up. 

-He could hear a cyclops laughing loudly as he stomped closer to the edge. Great, after all his work of killing at least hundreds of monsters in this battle and he’d die to a cyclops. 

-He debated letting go of the ledge right there. Maybe then his death wouldn’t be to a cyclops.. He… He wouldn’t be able to rest in peace knowing that his brother Tyson, who would never hurt a fly be judged for just being a cyclops. Not again. 

-So he does. He lets go. Even though he was falling to his death he felt at peace. But… Then your smile popped into his head. Why was he thinking of his ex now…? Why did his peace turn to regret…?

-He lets out a pained ‘umph’ as he hits something. Not the ground thankfully, but instead he was soaring sideways. There you were, a child of Ares carrying him in your arms on blackjack’s back. His exhaustion gets the best of him and he passes out into your arms.

-He was in a daze sense then, eyes fluttering open and closed in a haze, when they opened he saw you carrying him towards the gate of camp half blood. Even with the scars and the look that you gave him clearly saying ‘I’m killing you myself when you get up’ he couldn’t help but find you beautiful. 

Jason Grace

-He was exhausted, staring down a Fury while returning from a quest. He had to go alone, that was the quest rules. But he had been under non-stop monster attacks for almost a week. He couldn’t use his lightning while this tired… Not to mention using it in a public place was just asking for trouble.

- He takes a breath spinning his sword as he gets ready to fight. Honestly, he wasn’t positive that he wasn’t hallucinating but either way it was better to be safe than sorry.

-Just as he was about to charge an arrow went flying by him, turning the Fury to dust before it could even react. Jason quickly turns to see who fired the arrow and relaxes when he sees you. Of course… You were a child of Athena, you'd know the path he’d take to get back to camp.

-He gives a weak smile, going to say something but it falls flat as he crumples to his knees passing out from the pure exhaustion. 

-He feels your hands on his side and a faint calling of his name from your voice before he falls into slumber.

-When he wakes up he sees you carrying him bridal style back to camp. He blinks up at you sleepily as you huff and set him down, already at the gates of camp. You carried him this entire way? You were not only strong but terrifyingly smart.

-”Don’t make me worry next time.” You state simply and shove your way past him through the gates. You were ex’s… He broke up with you because he didn’t want you to get hurt… But… Then why was his heart pounding in his chest?

Nico Di Angelo

-He was exhausted, running on maybe two hours of sleep and a Mcdonald's sprite. All while staring down a minotaur. 

-It was chaos all around the battlefield, he couldn’t ask anyone for help, not while everyone was fighting just to save their own life. But any skeleton he summoned just turned to ash under the strength of the minotaur.

-It puffs and kicks its leg, getting ready for a charge. He tries to move but he’s too slow and the bull catches his side, taking a small chunk of Nico’s side with him as he slams into a tree. 

-He would have screamed in pain if he wasn’t pumping with adrenaline. As the bull is stuck to the tree Nico quickly lunges for his sword, but he falls short. You beat him to it, kicking the sword up from the ground and charging the bull.  Sliding between its legs you stab it right in the heart as it roars in pain.

-Nico ends up passing out watching as the beast turns to dust. His last thoughts were of how amazing you were.

-When he wakes you’re carrying him to camp, eyes closed in focus and slight beads of stress as you share the pain between you two. You were kind and amazing… You had carried him this entire way while sharing his pain…? Being this close to death made him realize why the two of you broke up… He’d always focus on the quest, whatever awful thing was happening to the world and never you. Never saw it as your possible last day together… His eyes close again and he finds himself wishing that he’d get another chance with you…

~Masterlist & Rules~

Like my writing? Please consider sending me a Ko-fi! ☕

#pjo x reader #pjo #hoo #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo x reader angst #pjo angst #hoo x reader #jason grace x reader #nico di angelo x reader #fluff and angst #angst with a happy ending

[ofsappho]

Summertime Sadness (part 3)

Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader

Second chance romance, heavy angst, hurt/very little comfort

Today: Ghost brings you a pack of cigarettes Ten years ago: You introduce yourself to Simon

Tags under read more

Tags: mental illness, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, self harm, child abuse, parent abandonment, drug addiction/withdrawal, Ghost's tragic backstory. unedited.

-

TODAY

Ghost POV

On his way out, Ghost asks one of the nurses about bringing you a pack of cigarettes.

The nurse’s forehead wrinkles with a frown. “Only if they’re sealed and unopened. Opened boxes, bottles, or containers of any kind are prohibited,” She says slowly, like he’s a fucking idiot.

“Why?”

She tilts her head to the side to look at him from a different angle. “It’s a safety risk. People will try to smuggle in substances or weapons. We’ve seen it all.” Ghost is almost offended she thinks he’d do that or at the implication that you would ask him to. You’re not like that. You’re good and kind, you couldn’t even hurt a fly. You always have been.

But he doesn’t know what you smoke. He doesn’t really know anything about you now.

So Ghost guesses and asks the man at the gas station a couple blocks away for a pack of Marlboro Reds.

That’s what he likes. You’ll have to deal. Beggars can’t be choosers.

Ghost finds his way to some sort of run-down motel near the hospital. In a major metropolitan area like this, he has infinite choices. He picks the cheapest. All he needs is a bed and a shower, and this place has both of those things. Ghost tells himself that it’s only temporary. There’s no need for comfort when he’ll be gone in a week, maybe two at most.

He lays on the bed, listens to the water drip from the leaky bathroom faucet, and tells himself he’ll try again tomorrow.

When Ghost arrives at the front desk the next day, the nurse tells him you’re in the garden, to take the elevator to the second floor and follow the signs. Then the security guards pat him down and check the cigarettes. Even though it felt like walking around naked in front of a thousand people, Ghost had the good sense to leave his knives in the hotel room. They find nothing.

After they clear him, he follows the nurse’s directions.

Ghost finds you contemplating a sad-looking fountain in the middle of a garden on the second floor. The plants are well kept but overly-manicured, as clinical as the rest of this place.

You have company. A nurse sits a few meters away, watching you like a hawk.

Ghost awkwardly sits on the bench across from you with the feeling that he’s somehow intruding, that if he left you alone a little longer, he might come back to a more whole, happier version of you.

“Thought I told you to fuck off,” You say through a face more blank than a fresh sheet of paper. “Cigarettes? For me? You shouldn’t have.” The first sign of life Ghost sees in your eyes is when he tosses you the pack and a lighter.

He doesn’t like being surveilled. Not at all. “What’s with the…” Ghost reaches for his mask out of instinct, carefully checking the edges and making sure they lay flat to cover as much as possible.

Your hands tremble as you light up a cigarette. He has to resist the urge to take the lighter from you and do it himself.

When you sit back to take a drag, Ghost averts his eyes from the bandages peeking out of the sleeves of your hospital gown. “The tail? They’re just making sure I don’t try to kill myself again. It’s annoying as fuck. I wish they’d just leave me alone, but that’s what I get.” Instead, he looks at the long, perfect line of your throat as you blow out smoke.

“What’s with the mask?” Loose ash flies as you gesture towards the balaclava.

“I joined the Air Service,” Ghost mutters. He thought the skull mask would make him feel more together, more in control today. It hasn’t.

For the first time, he sees the faintest hint of a real smile tug at the corners of your lips. “Like you always said you would. I was wondering what had happened to you.”

Your face falls.

“Sorry about your mom, by the way. And your brother. I heard.”

Ah.

“You did?” The last time Ghost was there, he’d wondered about the fresh flowers on their graves.

He thought the bouquets had been left by some Good Samaritan trying to curry favor with a god he didn’t believe in, a god that wasn’t there when his family was murdered.

It’s both better and worse to know it was you.

You grab another cigarette the instant you finish your first. “Yeah I- fuck, this is stupid. I kept tabs to see if you were ever… coming back.” Your chaperone nurse frowns and starts to open her mouth, probably about the chain smoking, but you cut her an impressively-dirty glare and she sits down to mind her business.

Ghost closes his eyes. “That is stupid.” You should have forgotten him. He wanted you to move on, meet someone else, and have the kind of life that would forever be out of reach for him.

“Don’t need to shove it in my face. I have a therapist for that. Multiple, actually.”

“Fat load of good they’ve done you.”

He watches your face close off. “It’d be less painful for everyone if they would just let me die, but I guess that goes against some sort of law,” You tell him with the kind of distant smile that shows you’re half-joking, half-serious.

“For what it’s worth, Ghost, I wish I had died this time. I never meant to drag you back into my shit. I’m sorry.”

This time?

How many times have there been?

Ghost isn’t sure he wants to know.

Because if he knows, he’s going to give a fuck. You make it impossible for him to not care. This is exactly why he pushed you away in the first place.

“You’re sorry for not dying?”

You nod. “Yeah.” You’re cold and resolved and completely serious.

Some of the smoke goes up your nose and you cough sharply, your lungs thick with… something. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to come back. Next time, I’ll get it right.” Even the golden sunlight and greenery can’t make you look healthy. A stray gust of wind could knock you over and your hands won’t stop shaking. 

You’re hiding it poorly.

“What if I didn’t want you to die?” The truth is that Ghost can’t imagine a world without you. You’re the one that belongs here, not him.

You turn to look at him.

Your eyes are clear and your hands steady with rage put the cigarette out on the bench next to you.

“I’d tell you that you, of all people, should fucking understand. This is the end of the road for me. You know what it’s like.”

You’re really asking Ghost if he remembers the very first time you spoke to each other. The tree. The black eye from one of the other, meaner kids darkening on his face. He’d won that fight, but it didn’t feel like it. More than anything, he’d felt like his father’s son and how afraid he was that that was all he’d ever be.

He should go. There’s no reason for him to sit here and take this, to listen to your fucking insane, psychotic, suicidal rambles. Bullshit. You’re talking nothing but bullshit.

“And then you’d feel like a selfish asshole for asking me to live.”

As Ghost gets up to leave, you keep talking.

“You were right from the beginning, Simon. You’ve always been right. I’m a danger to myself. My mother never came back. The things people have done to me, and I just let them-“ Tears crush your voice into a sound like shattered glass fragments, as weak as it is sharp.

He stops in his tracks.

“And I deserved it. I was never destined for more. Not like you. You’ve done so well for yourself. I’m proud of you,” You say, unknowingly echoing one of the last things Simon’s mother ever said.

Ghost has taken bullets less painful. Water boarding sounds like a fucking picnic right about now.

He can’t even convince himself that you’re lying out of spite. You mean every word. After everything he’s done to the people who loved him, you’re still proud of him.

“Thank you for being honest with me about myself. I appreciated it.” Your smile is lovely, transforming you into a carefree young girl for a moment. Ghost might be able to appreciate the sight more if not for the calm, resigned way you talk about death.

He’s old friends with Death. He wields it like he was born to do so, he knows how it smells and looks. He knows what someone looks like right before they give up and bleed out in a Middle-Eastern desert or succumb to hypothermia in the Siberian tundra.

Ghost can see the rot under your skin. You’re covered in it.

Some part of him hates you for not going quietly or disappearing into thin air.

He doesn’t want you to die. “I was wrong.”

“Look at you. Still the hero, the good guy.”

“No, listen to me-“

“It’s alright, Simon. Really. No more lies.”

“It’s the truth. Fuck. Fuck. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Ghost remembers the good things, too. It was easier to forget about them, to paint the whole of his life in shades of tar black and set fire to the remaining pieces of light. It was holding him back. You were holding him back.

What feels like a lifetime ago, he pointed out constellations to you in the middle of the night and your eyes filled with awe.

“Didn’t you?” You ask with wisps of pity in your voice.

-

10 YEARS AGO

Reader POV

You find your soon-to-be new friend hiding in a tree, lazily smoking a cigarette as his legs dangle over a branch. “Hi,” You call out.

He whips his head around and fixes you with a glare so strong that you have to stifle a small, instinctive ‘eep’ noise. The rather-impressive black eye does nothing to take away from how… pretty he is.

You clasp your hands behind your back so he can’t see you fiddle with your nail beds and rock back and forth on the balls of your feet.

“Fuck d’you want?” He barks in a rough, accented voice. The syllables slur together; maybe he talks like that all the time, or maybe his swollen split lip is getting in the way.

Shit. You rock again and dig your nails into your palms to try and steady yourself. “Nothing. I- nothing.” It’s fine. You’re fine. He’s just a boy. An older boy who fucked up another guy in the program and ran out of the building before the nurses could stop him, all angry fists and damnably kind eyes.

“Go away.” His scowl deepens when you straighten up and dig your heels into the dirt.

You pull out the napkins you stuffed in the pocket of your jeans before you went looking for him. “Here. For your nose.” It’s bleeding pretty bad, running over his white teeth and everything. “You got him good.”

After a long moment of contemplation wherein he tries to incinerate you with the power of his frown and fails, he reluctantly takes the tissues. “You saw?” He grumbles.

Yeah, you saw. Who could miss it? He tackled the other boy during one of the mandatory group therapy sessions. It was creative writing today, which you normally enjoy. Instead, everyone watched as the two of them beat the shit out of each other until the security guards bodily separated them.

The words tumble from your mouth in a rush. “James deserved it. He’s a fucking asshole. He tries to look down my shirt all the time, and he broke all of the nice pencils my dad brought me so now I have to use the shitty ones the nurses provide because I wouldn’t keep my mouth shut. One time he… touched me, you know? Over my clothes. But still. Wow. You were like… a superhero,” You finish quickly, blushing a little from embarrassment.

Everyone says you talk too much. He probably doesn’t care about your stuff. You shouldn’t have said anything.

He raises a blonde eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“You’re, like, really cool,” You say with a nod.

The boy’s grimace holds fast. “Hmph.” It could be a trick of the light, but his sharp, almond-shaped eyes look slightly less cruel, more of a gentle honey brown than a shadow black.

A silvery scar shines on his jaw as he turns away to work on another cigarette.

The acrid smoke is horrible for your lungs and he shouldn’t pick up such a bad habit. But you’ll save the lecture for another day when he’s less mad. And when you actually know his name.

You offer up your own first. “What’s your name?” You finally ask.

“Simon. M’ name is Simon.” Simon looks at you for a long, quiet moment, with no sounds other than the wind rustling the leaves hiding the two of you from the sun.

He sees you. Not just the model patient or dutiful daughter you are to everyone else. A thrill runs down your spine, enough to make you ignore how his eyes run over your smile - like he’s examining a pinned butterfly in a glass case.

“I’ll remember that.” When you stretch your hand out, Simon shakes it.

-

Tagging:

@devcica @igotmajordaddyissues @almightywdm @copiasratscheese @nerdyreaderpapi @schmelscorner @johfaam0

@babygirl-panda19 @illyanam1011 @q8852p @loser-alert @vantae-tea @alexisv15 @chessecakelover @allaboutirem0 @darling006 @aloraaaxcrystalzx @berryjuicyy @desideriumlove

#summertime sadness #cod #call of duty #modern warfare #modern warfare 2 #cod modern warfare #cod modern warfare 2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty modern warfare #ghost cod #cod ghost #ghost call of duty #ghost Riley #Simon Riley #Simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #ghost x you #Simon riley x reader #Simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #ghost riley x reader #ghost riley x you #cod mw 3 #modern warfare 3 #call of duty modern warfare 3

[friendly-neighborhood-furry]

sometimes the state of the world makes me want to go outside and scream as loud as i can for help. sometimes it makes me want to crawl deep into a hole and never come back out again. sometimes it makes me want to fall to my knees and sob uncontrollably. sometimes it seems so hopeless that i cant see any better alternative other than just disappearing.

so much evil and destruction and suffering-- and for what?

what is it all for?

for the latest popular billionare to take a 13 minute flight? for the newest remake of a movie that changed my life to get turned into mindless sludge? for a never-before-seen species of animal to be discovered, then pronounced extinct the very next week? for millions of people to go broke for having cancer?

i tell my mother that i wont be able to afford a house. she says "no, you will." i tell my counselor that my government wants to kill me. she says "that's not true." i tell my teachers i don't see a point in doing well in school because i wont be able to get a job anyway, even if i have a college degree. they tell me "no, you'll get a job. school is still important." i email my senators begging them to stop funding the genocide in Palestine. i get a copy-pasted email back with a history lesson about why that wont happen. one million people died from COVID last Christmas and i'm the only one at my school still wearing a mask. my future as an artist was ripped from my hands in less than two years and pretty soon i wont be able to share anything about my art at all. i'm half mexican, but everybody says i'm "too white" to be a "real mexican". its been four years and i'm nowhere closer to understanding my gender identity than i was at the start. tumblr has been my only safe space for three years and now that KOSA might pass this week, where will i go?

and all the while, through all of this conflict-- people are still falling in love for the first time and rescuing kittens off the street and watching their children take their first steps and getting married and making fun little indie games and building elaborate cosplays of their favorite character and making the most heart-touchingly beautiful pieces of art you've ever seen and meeting lifelong friends and cooking amazingly delicious food and playing children's games and weaving baskets from pine needles and taking care of livestock and collecting little knick-knacks and having the best day of their lives and writing their first line of code and learning to play instruments and hatching baby birds and posting a 100K word thesis about a show they really like and uploading song covers for 19 people on Youtube to listen to and pushing the boundaries of what science can accomplish and discussing moral philosophies in the comment section of a Reddit post and feeling truly seen in the eyes of another human being for the first time in their lives and growing old surrounded by the people they love.

the future is uncertain, but the world will go on. the winds will still blow and the tides will still flow. people will continue to find joy in this hell and fight for it with everything they have.

so don't give up.

"don't give up," i tell myself.

"don't give up," i tell you.

"don't give up," i scream into the sky.

there is always something to keep going for. if you cannot find it in yourself, find it in others. find it in the people in your life and the people you see online. find it in the good of humanity you know to exist.

find it. keep fighting. don't give up.

#at the end of it all i do consider myself a poet #if this reaches even one person #and gives them the strength to keep going #i would consider it a success #tomothy rambles #serious post #gen z #capitalism #climate change #palestine #free palestine #lgbtqia+ #queer #trans #vent #mental health #anxiety #depression

[autumnshighlady]

I've Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 23)

NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER

summary: continuation of the last chapter

warnings: nothing but pure angst tbh

word count: 4.8k

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

a/n: i was debating letting y'all stew on the cliffhanger for a week or so but after killing Lirilla I figured that'd be too mean. So anywho, here's the next part...

part 1 // part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12 / part 13 / part 14 / part 15 / part 16 / part 17 / part 18 / part 19 / part 20

read on ao3

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The world stopped turning as Eris’s screams ripped through the air. Grief tore through Eris’s end of the bond like a current, threatening to spill over and consume you. The Prince fell to his knees, crawling towards his mother’s body. Nesta’s grey eyes were wide with horror, her hand over her mouth as she shrunk back. It wasn’t hard to figure out just how easily this reminded her of her own father’s death.

You were utterly paralyzed with shock, jaw slack as your gaze remained glued on the lifeless body of the Lady of Autumn. Her russet eyes were dull, the warmth that she had gazed at you with as she tried to comfort you was completely gone. Her collarbone jutted out beneath her thin, pale skin. Only then did you notice how small, how frail she truly was. It was as if the life had been sucked from her body long before her husband snapped her neck.

Beron stood over Lirilla’s body, staring down at Eris with disgust. There was no remorse on his face, as if he hadn’t just murdered his wife to spite his eldest son. Eris wept, pale hands trembling as he cradled Lirilla’s face in them. He pressed his forehead into hers, gut-wrenching sobs shredding at your heart as you watched the normally stone-cold male wailing over his mother’s body. It was as if he was a child again, desperately clinging to his mother in search of some feeling of comfort from her lifeless form.

“You’re sick.” Nesta’s voice was a broken whisper, laced with hatred as she met the eyes of the High Lord. There was no sign of those glorious silver flames, as if they, too, had given up all hope. Eris had stopped sobbing, his eyes glassy and numb as he laid over his mother’s body, wrapping his arms around her small form.

Beron only smiled sickly. “I told him countless times, his soft spot for his wench of a mother would be his downfall. I am making him stronger, this way. He will not be burdened by doltish feelings anymore.”

“You’d murder his mother and let his own mate get killed just to prove a point?” Nesta said, looking as if she was going to throw up. You squeezed your eyes shut, forcing yourself to look away as you leaned into Azriel for support. At this point, you weren’t sure if your legs would support you any longer.

That otherworldly High Lord power thrummed from Beron as he spoke. “Precisely. Now here’s what’s going to happen. Eris is the only son I have left who is not a whimpering fool. Despite his scheming, I will not allow myself to be without an heir. It would weaken me and this court, and I will not have that happen. You are to kneel before me and swear fealty to me, in perpetuity. After you serve your punishment, all will be forgiven. This marriage will resume. The other girl will die, and you and my son will wear these for the rest of your lives.”

The dread that rippled through your body at Beron’s promise of your demise was quickly replaced by a newfound horror as the High Lord snapped his fingers, and two objects appeared in his hands. They were golden torques, a sharp arrow at each end poised towards where Nesta and Eris’s throats would be. From the second they appeared, you felt a darkness creep into the room. And by the way Nesta flinched, she could feel it too. There was a sentience to them, as if they were speaking to you in an ancient tongue, each word coming out as a demonic hiss. 

“What the hell are those?” Nesta muttered, her breathing shallow.

“My insurance policy,” Beron smirked. “A way of ensuring you never even think of pulling a stunt like this again.”

Something clicked in your brain as you recognized what the torques were. Fear hit you like an icy wave, and you frantically reached out to Nesta. Don’t let him put those around your neck, You mind-spoke to her. Whatever you do, do not put it on. I’ve read about objects like these. They come from another world and will enslave you to Beron. Your free will would be gone and you will become his puppet with no way out.

You vividly recalled finding the ancient scroll in the House of Wind’s library. It was nearly completely faded, but with Gwyn’s help you managed to make out the text. It spoke of another universe, one infested with demons that used dark objects like rings and collars to enslave and possess people with dark magic, allowing a new host to take over. From the way Beron smirked at Nesta and Eris, it was clear that the objects in his hand possessed the same properties.

How the hell he managed to get his hands on something like this, you didn’t know.

“Now kneel before me, both of you.” Beron continued coldly. “And beg for forgiveness.”

Nesta looked back to you, desperation in her eyes. You only stared back hopelessly, knowing there was nothing either of you could do at this point. You slumped against Azriel, the Illyrian still as a statue, shadows swirling around protectively. His siphons continued to glow, but you knew Beron wouldn’t break a sweat ripping through his shield. 

It was over.

All your planning, everything you’d done to get to this point, was all for nothing. Beron was about to kill you and enslave Nesta and Eris for eternity.

“Leave.” You muttered to Azriel softly. “There’s no use in you dying with me. Get out of here.”

You felt oddly calm in the face of death. Even though you were utterly powerless in this situation, you could at least make sure that Azriel was able to get out. He had helped you enough, you weren’t about to let him be dragged down with you.

But the shadowsinger’s voice was firm as he spoke. “Don’t,” He said sternly. “I will not let you get killed.”

You sighed as his shadows curled around your fingers reassuringly, as if they were trying to provide some form of comfort. You took one last look at Nesta and Eris before closing your eyes.

“No.” Eris’s hoarse voice echoed throughout the chamber, making your eyes snap open.

With one last sorrowful glance at his mother’s body, Eris pushed himself up. Amber eyes steeled with determination as he stared down his father.

“What did you just say to me?” Beron growled.

“I said,” Eris’s voice strengthened. “No.”

The High Lord scoffed. “Wipe those tears off your face before you speak to me, boy. Love is weakness, your mother’s death is on your hands–”

Beron didn’t get to finish his sentence before the ground shook beneath you and angry orange fire erupted from Eris. Pure, unfiltered power filled the room as Eris let out a godly cry, flames rippling off of him in waves. It wrapped around Beron, smothering the High Lord’s every attempt to fight back. 

Beron may have more experience and magic, but it was no match for Eris’s rage. 

The dark cell was lit up in an orange light as Eris was enveloped in his own flames. They swirled around him like a suit of armour, different shades of red yellow and orange blazing furiously. Beron screeches as the waves of fire smothered him, burning his aged skin layer by layer.

You saw Nesta step towards him, silver flame in hand, ready to join the fight.

No, You said to her. Eris needs to do this on his own.

She paused, then nodded, taking a step back. 

Eris’s fire was relentless, surging into his father with all their might. His lip was drawn back in a snarl as he continued to cast his flames into Beron, burning the male alive. He looked like a flaming god, a phoenix of hell sent to remake the world with his fire. You covered  your ears with your hands, trying to block out the sickening screams of Beron. Instead of watching, you buried your face into Azriel’s side. As much as you hated Beron, this was not something that you wanted to bear witness to.

The roar of the fire was thunderous, threatening to overwhelm all your senses. It shook your very bones like an earthquake. Only when you felt it cease, did you finally open your eyes.

There was a pile of ash where Beron Vanserra once stood, the gut-churning smell of burnt flesh potent in the air. Angry scorch marks adorned the walls and floor from where Eris’s flames had been minutes ago as they had relentlessly torn away at the High Lord. Eris was doubled over on the floor, Nesta crouching by his side.

“Eris?” She asked worriedly as the male gasped.

A soft glow emitted from Eris’s skin, and he writhed in agony as new power flowed through him. The power of a High Lord.

You watched in awe as the scent of raw magic filled your senses, its coppery taste in your mouth as you breathed it in. You could see Eris’s veins through his pale skin, shining like gold as his body was encapsulated in magic. After a minute, he stopped moving. You could hear his heartbeat, so slow it made you break out of Azriel’s arms and rush forward.

You called out his name, crouching down beside Nesta and putting a hand on the autumn male’s arm. Immediately, you jerked it back. His skin was burning hotter than anything you had felt. He was utterly still, almost dead looking beside his mother.

As a final resort, you opened up that part of the bond you had tried to seal shut. Eris? You called out to it. A powerful hum pulsed in response, unlike anything you had ever felt before. You could feel Eris on the other end – different than before, but your Eris nonetheless.

You felt Nesta’s presence too, her silver mist of the bond reaching down towards Eris as well. In the distance, through that mental bridge you could see a faint silhouette writhed in orange flame. You extended a hand towards it through the bond, reaching out for Eris. Nesta did the same, and together, you reached down the bond and grasped onto Eris, giving a gentle but firm pull.

Amber eyes shot open and Eris gasped for breath as he woke. 

“Thank the Mother.” You muttered. As much as you were mad at Eris for keeping the bond a secret, you couldn’t imagine what you’d have felt if he didn’t wake up. For him to die thinking you hated him… it was something you couldn’t handle.

With the help of you and Nesta, Eris rose to his feet. A new aura of power surrounded him, the unmistakable magic of a new High Lord.

Beron was dead, and his magic had chosen Eris.

“Are you really…” Nesta asked, grey eyes scanning Eris up and down. “High Lord?”

Eris nodded, unable to speak. But the powerful glow in his eyes faded as his gaze landed on Lirilla’s body, still crumpled on the floor. “It doesn’t matter.” He muttered. “He killed her. With his bare hands.”

Your heart broke even more hearing the defeat in his voice. This was a moment Eris should have been celebrating – it was something he spent years trying to achieve, yet he paid a price for it.

No. You wouldn’t let it end like this.

Carefully, you let go of Eris and walked over to Lirilla’s body. You knelt down beside it, brushing the auburn hair from her pale face. 

“What are you doing?” Nesta asked, confused.

“I want to try something.” You responded. Not bothering to explain, you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. You pictured that clearing in the village, the one in a dream-like state where you first met Estelle.

Please, Estelle, You called out to her. I need you right now.

Truthfully, you had no idea if this would work. Your conversation with the goddess could have been a one time thing. But you couldn’t imagine Eris risking everything to help you, only to lose his mother for good in the process.

After a few minutes of pleading, you felt your eyes open. But you were no longer in the dark dungeons of Autumn. Instead, you were on a bench in your village clearing, a gentle white mist covering the surroundings. You felt light and weightless, all aches and pains of your body having vanished.

“Hello, my child.” Came the familiar voice of Estelle.

You whipped your head to the side as the mists parted, the Mother goddess walking through towards you. Her white robes floated around her, eyes shining with starlight as her gaze landed on you. You bowed your head respectfully, and she laughed.

“There is no need for that.” Estelle said softly as she came to stand in front of you.

“Sorry.” You muttered, straightening your back. “But I really need your help.”

The goddess smiled sadly. “I know what you are going to ask of me. But I cannot bring the Lady Lirilla back.”

“I know,” You continued, taking a deep breath. “But I was wondering if I could. After all, you said that when Hybern attacked my village, I absorbed the life force of everyone that died, and that it became a power I could use to wield.”

Estelle did not say anything. She only stared at you with an unreadable expression.

“Please,” You begged, voice breaking. “She’s Eris’s mother.”

“My child,” Estelle’s voice was gentle but firm. “Lirilla suffered a hard life. Even if she were to be brought back, she would have a lot of trauma to deal with. Letting her rest may be the kinder path.”

“No.” You said sternly. “After everything she went through she deserves a chance. Feyre Archeron was brought back, as were Rhys and Amren during the war. How is it fair that they get to be brought back after death and Lirilla doesn’t?”

“Not everything is meant to be fair.”

You stood up, facing the goddess with a steeled expression. Anger boiled in your gut at her refusal to help. “Look,” You snapped. “I came here asking you for guidance, not permission. I may be an incarnate version of you, but I am not tied to your decisions. This is my power to do with as I please, so I am asking you once again: could I use it to bring her back?”

You half expected Estelle to get angry and send you back to reality, but she just looked at you with a sombre expression. “So young, so determined.” She muttered. “You remind me of myself when I was your age, all those millenia ago. I will not stop you, but it is not simple. In order to bring Lirilla back, you must do a trade – find a soul who died that day in your village who is willing to give up their eternity of peace. While you can bend this power of life to your will, the life forces of those who you absorbed still belong to them.”

“A soul for a soul.” You muttered.

“Yes. That is the only way you can bring her back in a manner that does not utilise dark magic and risk severe consequences.”

“Ok. How do I find a soul then?”

Estelle smiled softly, putting a soft hand on your cheek. “You have been so brave and endured so much.” She murmured. “Good luck, my child. May we meet again.”

“Wait–” Your protest died off as her starry image faded into the mist. You huffed angrily, wringing your hands together. Time was running out – you had no idea how long you would stay here, but you were determined to make the most of it.

Gathering your wits, you stepped through the mist along the path that led to the heart of your village. Your feet made no noise on the ground, as if you were a ghost. Eventually, the mist began to lighten, and you heard lively chatter in the distance.

You broke into a full on sprint, racing towards the noise. As you went through the archway of your village entrance, the sight before you made you stop dead in your tracks.

Children were playing games under the large willow tree, their laughter echoing on the gentle breeze. Elderly couples sat on the benches, content to enjoy the sunshine. Smells of freshly baked bread and rich flowers filled your nostrils, and your eyes watered. Your village was lively again, the faces of those you had seen bloody and dead now filled with life as they once were.

“Hey, bitch!” The familiar husky voice of your best friend Sapphyra sounded in your ear as strong arms wrapped around you.

Nothing could stop the tears that flowed down your cheeks as you felt Sapphyra hug you. Sobs wracked your body as you clung onto her, savouring every inch of her presence. Her dark hair was pulled back in its usual braid, her muscles even leaner than when she was alive.

“It’s you…” You sobbed. “I can’t believe it’s you. Last time I say you–”

“Hush,” She said gently, pulling away and holding you by your shoulders, as if sensing you needed grounding. “We don’t talk about that here. None of us speak of the day we died. It’s not something any of us wants to remember.”

You wiped your tears away. Your heart swelled, seeing her filled with life again.

“I know why you’re here.” Sapphyra said. “You want one of us to trade our souls to bring Eris’s mother back.”

You nodded. “I can’t let her go, Sapphyra.”

“I know. But there’s something you should know. Whoever helps you bring her back will lose their spot in the afterlife. If Lirilla dies, that soul will not return here. They will be gone forever.”

You blanched, guilt prickling your heart. “How am I supposed to ask anyone here to do that for me? It’s not fair to them.”

She smiled. “I don’t think you’ll have to ask. We’ve all been watching you, rooting for you on our end of the universe. There will be somebody who is willing to give up their spot in eternity to help you. I promise.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. Now, enough of me. You only have so much time here, so make the most of it.” Sapphyra clapped you on the back, pushing you towards the crowd that had gathered at your arrival.

You spent the next few minutes receiving more hugs than you ever had in your entire life. Fae of all ages holding your hand, wishing you the best and saying how proud they were of you. You did not idle for small talk, knowing Sapphyra was right. You only had so much time.

A familiar male made his way through the crowd, a tender smile on his face. “Hey, kiddo.” He said softly.

Your throat closed up. “Father…”

You leapt into his arms, clinging onto him like a child on their first day of school. He hugged you tightly, your tears staining the pale green tunic he wore as you sobbed into him.

“I am so proud of you.” He murmured, kissing the top of your head. “You have fought so hard. Harder than you should have to.”

“I’m tired, dad.” You said quietly. “I’m so tired.”

“I know. But the hardest part is over. You just have to figure out how to move forward.”

You let go of his embrace, staring up at his green eyes sorrowfully. “I miss you.”

He smiled. “I miss you, too. But there’s someone else who wants to see you, and you don’t have much time. Go to the house. She’s waiting for you.”

Your father patted you on the back, gently steering you in the direction of your family cottage a few feet away. It took everything in you not to turn back for one more glance at him as you made your way up the steps and pushed open the door.

There, in the living room of your cottage, stood your mother. A soft smile on her face, devoid of the blood and gore you had last seen on it as she died. It was the straw that broke you, and you crumpled to the floor in front of her. “Mama…” Was all you could choke out as she wrapped her arms around you.

“It’s okay, honey. I’m here.” She murmured, stroking your hair. “Oh, my sweet girl…”

You didn’t know how long you stayed in her embrace. It felt like forever, but not long enough as she gently pried you off of her.

“There’s so much I want to say, but we don’t have the time.” Your mother said urgently as you leaned into her touch, afraid to let go. “You came here to save another person from losing their mother, did you not?”

You nodded.

“I may not have been able to help stop any of the horrible things that happened to you,” She said sorrowfully. “But I can help you with this. Let me be the soul who will bring the Lady of Autumn back.”

Your heart dropped. “No.” You said firmly. “Sapphyra told me that whoever helps me will lose their spot here in the afterlife. If I die I won’t see you again.”

She smiled, eyes lined with tears. “I know that, my love.”

“But you’re finally at peace.” You sobbed harder.

“Which will be for nothing if I do not use it to help my daughter.” Your mother insisted. “I know what it’s like to lose a mother. And so do you. And so does Nesta. If we can spare Eris that pain too, that is a sacrifice I will gladly make for your mate.”

You took in a shaky breath. “Me, Nesta, and Eris… all being mates. You don’t disapprove or think it’s weird?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “No, I do not. I think you deserve all the love this world has to offer you. I am happy for you, (Y/N). And I want you to live a long and happy life with both your mates at your side.”

As much as you wanted to bring Lirilla back, your heart shattered all over again at the thought of losing your mother twice. “Please…” You cried. “Please don;t leave me again.”

“I will never leave you,” She promised. “By doing this, I will be even closer to you than I am now. I will always be with you.”

“Will she know it’s you?”

“No, she will not know whose soul brought her back. But you will. And you’ll have a piece of me with you down there in Autumn.”

Your head ached from the tears you had been shedding. Your kind, selfless mother was willing to trade a peaceful eternity with her husband and community, all so your mate could have his own mother.

You wanted to say no, to demand somebody else does it. But you remembered Estelle’s words, how a soul had to be given willingly. Your mother offering her own as a trade was your only chance.

“Are you sure?” You asked, cherishing the sight of her kind face for the last time of your immortal life.

Your mother nodded. “A thousand percent.”

You could barely get the words out. “Then tell me what I need to do.”

“In a minute, you will go back to your world. I will fade into a ball of light, summoned into your hands. I want you to press it to Lirilla’s heart, use your magic to push it into her body. I will do the rest. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good. It’s time now. Come here.” She pulled you into one last hug, the final embrace your mother would ever be able to give you in her current form, even if you died one day and joined your people here in the afterlife. Her comforting scent of jasmine surrounded you as you clung onto her.

A gentle, white light began to glow from her skin, and you sobbed harder as you felt her slowly begin to slip away.

“I love you.” Were the last words to leave her lips as the light consumed you both, and you tumbled back into darkness.

 *********************

When you opened your eyes again, the stifling smell of the dungeon washed away the blissful memories of the village. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness, and your vision focused finally. Nesta and Eris were crouched across from you on the other side of Lirilla’s body.

“(Y/N)?” Eris asked. “Where did you go just now?”

You didn’t say anything, too tired to even try and explain. You looked down at the Lady of Autumn, laying on her back in front of you. And then you felt it – that warm, jasmine scented presence compacted into a ball of light in your hand. Slowly, you uncurled your fist to reveal it, and its soft light filled the room.

Nesta’s eyes widened. “What is that…”

“My mother…” You choked out, curling your other hand over top of the small bulb of light. “She offered her soul in exchange… it’s to bring your mother back.”

Eris’s jaw went slack. “(Y/N)...”

“Don’t…” You cut him off, not wanting to cry again. “Don’t make this harder. Let me do this for you, please.”

The new High Lord paused for a moment, then nodded, sorrow filling his eyes as he observed your tear stained cheeks. You took a shaking breath, pressing your light-filled hands to Lirilla’s chest, just above her heart.

A soft sound like a dewdrop hitting a puddle echoed throughout the dungeon, and you closed your eyes and willed the light to spread.

And spread it did.

A white glow washed under Lirilla’s skin, expanding from her heart down her arms and legs, before finally coming over her face. The scent of jasmine and starlight filled the air, a bittersweet reminder of what this had cost. A gentle breeze caressed your cheek, its presence unmistakable.

Thank you for letting me do this. It seemed to say.

As the light faded, the Lady of Autumn’s eyes opened as she inhaled a breath of life. You fell back, breath shuddering as the world spun slightly. Your legs were wobbly as you pushed yourself back up. You staggered backwards into Azriel, who helped you regain your balance. You turned to thank him, but his hazel eyes were fixed on the scene before him, utterly shocked.

Eris let out a cry of relief, reaching forward and grabbing his mother’s hands, which now were bright with warmth. “Mother?”

“Eris?” Lirilla croaked, looking around frantically. “Your father…”

“He’s gone.” Eris said through tears. “I killed him. You don’t ever have to be afraid of him again.”

Lirilla’s eyes widened, and she sat up with the help of Eris and Nesta. “I… I was dead, wasn’t I? He killed me. How…”

While Nesta helped the Lady of Autumn stabilise herself, Eris walked over to you. Your throat was dry, your legs so weak you relied on Azriel to help hold you upright. Between the mental exhaustion of your ordeal and the physical toll the magic took, you were utterly spent. But you met his gaze, wanting to say a hundred things to him at once. But nothing came out.

The new High Lord dropped to his knees before you, grabbing your hands and pressing his forehead against them. “I am indebted to you for the rest of our eternal lives, (Y/N).” He said. “There are no words in any tongues I know to properly thank you for what you did. For what you sacrificed to do this for me. I…” His voice trailed off.

You crouched down in front of him, gently removing your hands from his and cupping his face. “You’re my mate, Eris.” You said softly. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

As you wrapped your arms around the sobbing male, you felt the glow of the mating bond in your chest, brighter and stronger than ever. Nesta appeared beside you, pulling both you and Eris into her arms as she let out a sigh of relief. 

You felt the bond between you and her glow, too. Each rope led to the two fae in your arms, all glowing with equal strength and passion. There was no faltering, no weakness of one bond over the other. They were all the same – all pure, unfiltered love.

As Eris pressed his head into your chest, you leaned your own head on Nesta’s shoulder, the presence of your two mates soothing the raw ache in your chest from your mother’s sacrifice.

You did well, child, Came Estelle’s faint voice in your head. Everything will be okay.

taglist (comment if you want to be added): @queercontrarian @kitkat-writes-stuff @moonfawnx @sevikas-whore @weird-and-wise @jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet @kingshitonly @ladyofcherries @eerievixen @readingwritingwatching @peacecoffeeandflowers @a-frog-with-a-laptop @shadowqueen25 @lana08 @highladyofillyria @rachelnicolee @ladespedidas @little-darlingo @manonblackbeakquidditchteam13 @demirunner @terorovaerangi @hauntedandhopeful  @younxii @microwaveallthedemons @fanfictioniseverything @lovra974 @maddietheshoe @peaceandcrackers @emy1-9 @lostinfantasyworldsbi @issybee0611 @thoughtfulshepherdmongerkid @belledawnidk @whhyyynottt @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @littlebbb @piceous21 @sevendeadlyshins-blog @searchingford  @marigold-morelli @thesapphiclibrarian @nikovasbitch @chasing-autumns-chill @the-sweet-psycho @honeysuckle-daydreams13 @red-bees @daughterofthemoons-stuff

#ialtpwf #neris #neris x reader #nesta archeron #eris vanserra #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra x nesta archeron #nesta x eris #nesta archeron x reader #nesta archeron fic #pro nesta archeron #pro nesta #autumn court #acosf au #anti rhysand #neris fic

[the-fiction-witch]

Now On Your Life

Media The Artful Dodger (Pre Show Release)

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Cute

I asked! and you little bats have answered! Jack is officially in!

And fun little celebration! this makes my 4000th tumblr post!

I hummed myself a little tune, as I strolled leisurely about the market from stall to stall. My Wicker basket in hand littered with items I had purchased and my small coin purse prepared to purchase more. Often I smiled at those working the stalls or other ladies like myself making their way around. I stopped to look over some eggs when a voice spoke up.

"Miss Y/l/n"

I didn't even need to glance over, I knew who it was, and unfortunately knew what he wanted.

"Dr Dawkins, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You missed an appointment"

"I wasn't aware I had an appointment" I smiled picking out my eggs and handing over the money taking my eggs and adding them to my basket

"Liar. You had an appointment and you know you did. This is the sixth time you've missed this"

"Ohh how tragic" I said moving to the next stall and looking over some fruits and veg

"You can't keep ignoring it"

"I'm not ignoring it"

"Yes you are"

"No I'm not. I am simply not letting your butcher hands at me" I told him as I went on through the market with him following along behind me 

"If you don't let my hands at you you'll die"

"No, I won't"

"Ughhhh must you be so stubborn" 

"I do not need your madman butchering, I have my medicines"

"Ohh your herbal teas and lavender salt. That's not going to help you"

"It's kept me alive so far Dawkins" I said as I continued on with my shopping

"Will you listen to me. I've told you a hundred times you have to come and let me do something if you don't you're going to be in incredible pain"

"And?"

"And you know I don't want to see you in pain" 

"Don't you? you make money from people being in pain" I snapped as I hurried through the market "It is quite literally your business, so why would I trust you do to anything? You want me to be in pain so you make more money I understand the business of it all." but he grabbed my arm pulling me close 

"That doesn't mean I want to see it happen to someone I care about," He says "Now will you, Please come to the office and let me help you. It's a five-minute procedure maybe less."

"Not on your life." I snapped taking my arm away and heading away from the market through the town park to try and get home but he stopped me and turned me to face him 

"Y/n! You're natural cures and herbal remedies do a lot I will not deny that, and you've helped so many people that I couldn't help, but they can't fix this why can't you understand that? I know you're stubborn, I know you don't trust me, I know you think I'm a butcher just after my money, but I can't bear to think of the pain you'll be in, it'll break my heart to see you die knowing I could so easily have prevented it," He explained, "I'm a doctor, you can't expect me to stand by and let you kill yourself." 

"You know I can't"

"Free of charge then. Because it's you." he says "Please, I promise I'll take care of you. I'll be gentle, and make sure the office and all my tools are clean just for you. Just let me take care of you, Please y/n" 

"And what if it goes wrong?"

"It won't-"

"But if it does?"

"then I'll never forgive myself." He says, "Please just let me help little one" He says stroking my stomach

"Fine" I sighed "But the office is to be cleaned from top to bottom, all your equipment is to be cleaned and sanitized, you are to be fast and gentle, and you are in charge of taking care of me until I'm better"

"I think that's agreeable" He nods 

"And you're the one getting up every time he cries in the night for the first three months"

"One week"

"two months"

"One month"

"Deal" 

"Good girl" He smiled kissing my forehead "Now you finish the shopping I'll see you back at the house and we'll take care of this alright?"

"Alright. Now go and clean that office or I am not letting you do anything" I warn "You are not touching me unless those hands are clean and there is nothing under your nails" 

"Yes darling" He rolled his eyes, and he gave my hand a kiss and then my stomach "You take care of little one, I'll see you later" He said heading back home. 

#tbs #thomas brodie sangster #thomas sangster #tbs smut #thomasbrodiesangster #tbs imagine #tbs imagines #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster smut #the artful dodger #theartfuldogger #jack #jackdawkins #jack dawkins

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Everything Falls Into Place

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.4k

Warnings: fluff, worrying about not being able to adopt a child, anxiety

Request by anon: Aww if steve and vixen settle down imagine them fostering or adopting a child. In their words "adoption helps a kid"

Summary: You and Steve start the process of adopting a child. There are a lot of steps that you have to go through, including a background check. You're worried about your past as Vixen is finally going to bite you in the ass. This is it. This is the other shoe you've been waiting for to drop.

Cat and Mouse Masterlist

Squares Filled: social worker au (2021) for @star-spangled-bingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

“What is taking her so long?” you sigh impatiently.

“She’s only been gone five minutes. Calm down,” Steve chuckles from beside you. Steve looks over at you to see you bouncing your leg from how nervous you are. You’re wringing your fingers together to keep yourself from biting your nails. “Y/N, you’re acting like a criminal who just got caught. Take a deep breath.”

“Steve, this woman is the decider on whether or not we have a child. Forgive me if I’m a little anxious.”

Your social worker, Amy, takes another ten minutes before she’s back in the office, and you let out a relieved sigh that she hasn’t kicked you out… yet.

“I am so sorry. We’re extremely backed up,” she says and takes a seat across from you.

“It’s no problem,” Steve smiles politely.

“So, you’re looking to adopt a child? It’s a big responsibility.”

“Yes, ma’am. We’ve actually been wanting this for a while now.”

“Why now? Why not then?”

You and Steve look at each other in thought. Maybe it’s because you two were out fighting in wars you had no business being in. Maybe it’s because you finally came face to face with Zemo again after so many years of being away from him, and you almost killed him. Maybe it’s because even though you think you’re ready to be parents… you’re actually not.

“We felt like the timing wasn’t right,” Steve finally answers and peels his eyes away from you.

“Have you always wanted to have children?”

“Yes, I have,” Steve answers honestly. “For as long as I could remember.”

“And you?” Amy asks.

“In the beginning, yes. I mean, when I was a lot younger. Some shit happened to me and I didn’t allow myself to feel that way until recently. Maybe in the last couple of years? I can’t have children biologically, but I do want one.”

“I never know how to ask this question despite how many years I’ve been doing this, but what kind of parents would you two be?”

“I can’t say for sure. How can anyone know for sure? We’ve never taken care of a child before. There will be obstacles that we might not know how to get over but I can tell you one thing. We will do our very best to make sure this child is loved, safe, and raised to be the best person they can be.”

“That’s a good answer,” Amy smiles and writes in her notebook. Steve rubs his thumb on the back of your hand comfortingly. “This is going to be a long process but I have confidence that it will go by quicker than you think.” She hands over a piece of paper to Steve. “Here is a list of everything I will be needing by the end of this week. Legal papers. You know how it goes. Next will be an extensive background screening for everyone living in the adoptive household. After that will be the in-home interview and inspection of the home.”

You don’t hear anything past background screening. What if they find out about Vixen? They won’t want to give you a child when they figure out how many people you’ve killed. What if they come for the home inspection and find your room of weapons? You’re not getting a kid.

“Okay,” you squeak out.

Steve notices your panic but decides not to say anything about it until you two leave the office building.

“What’s going on?”

“What if they find out about Vixen? The Winter Soldier? My time in Hydra?”

“They won’t--”

“What if they do?” you cut him off. “What if they don’t see me fit to be a mother? What about the guns and shit we have at the house? They’re not going to allow us to be parents with all that there.”

“Baby, you need to calm down. We’re going to do fine.”

His words go in through one ear and out the other. You hear him talk but you’re not listening to a word he’s saying. When you get home, you immediately head to the room with all your weapons and begin taking them off the wall. If you’re going to make this house suitable for a child, you have to make sure it’s safe for one.

“Y/N, it’s going to be fine.”

“No, it’s not. We live in a state where it’s illegal to carry outside your home. We aren’t even allowed to have this many weapons in the house.”

Steve knows you have to do this in order to make yourself feel better. He leaves you to box the weapons while he gets his phone out of his pocket. He calls Bucky, Sam, and Nat to come over because he thinks having them here is going to help you. He has always been the more level-headed one in the relationship which is why he’s being so calm about this. He has faith that everything is going to work out just fine.

“How long has she been like this?” Nat asks when she gets there.

“Since we left the social worker.” They know you and Steve have wanted a child for a while now. “Nothing I say matters.”

“Hey, Y/N,” Natasha says and walks into the room. “You doing okay?”

“No, I’m not. I have to get these weapons out of here. Can you keep them for a while?”

“Sure. You’re going to do just fine. If anyone deserves a kid, it’s you two.”

“No, it’s not okay. Amy is going to come in here and see all these weapons and she is not going to give us a child. This isn’t safe for one. Or she will know I’m Vixen and think wow, a mass murderer assassin doesn’t deserve a kid. Or she’ll know about Bucky, Thanos, and everything else we have done in our lives.”

“Would it help if we helped you?”

“Yeah,” you smile.

Bucky, Sam, Nat, and Steve help clear out the room until it’s bare. This is the room you’re going to use for the nursery. You don’t have any supplies since you’re not sure when you’re going to be getting a kid, so you’ll keep it bare for now. Bucky and Nat take the weapons to hold onto until this whole thing blows over. Your house has a basement that you can put them into only until after the inspections are done.

On the day of the interview and home inspection, you have cookies baking in the oven to give the home a sweet smell. You have been cleaning all day to ease your worries. Steve is nervous as hell but less than you are.

“I think this is the tenth time you fluffed that pillow.”

“It has to be perfect.”

“It is. You are. It’s going to be fine.”

“I know. It’s going to be great,” you smile. Amy shows up on the dot, and you let her in eagerly. “Welcome to our home. It’s good to see you again.”

“Thank you. Wow, smells good in here.”

“I have cookies that just left the oven. Would you like one?”

“No, thank you. I have two more visits to do. Not to sound rude but I’d like to get started right away.”

“Of course.”

You two lead her to the living room and sit across from her. Steve reaches for your hand and pulls it into his lap.

“To start with, why don’t you two tell me what you two do for a living?”

“We are employed with Stark Industries,” Steve says. Happy sends money to every Avenger on behalf of Tony. You don’t need a job when your job is saving people who need it. Does she not know you two are Avengers? “We make about two hundred thousand each every year.”

“Do you enjoy your work?”

“We love it. I can’t see myself doing anything else.”

“What are some of your hobbies?” Amy asks you.

“I love to sew. I love making my own clothes. I actually made my own wedding dress. It brings me peace whenever it’s just me, a needle, and some fabric.”

“And you?” Amy asks Steve while writing in her notebook.

“I like to draw, sometimes. I’ve been practicing more these days. I like to fish. We have a cabin up north that we like to go to when the weather is nice.”

“Tell me about your marriage, and how your relationship is with your significant other.”

You look at Steve and smile lovingly at him.

“There is nothing I wouldn’t do for this man. He has saved me in ways you can’t possibly imagine. He’s my best friend. Sure, we have our ups and downs, but there is nothing we can’t accomplish together.”

“She said it right,” Steve chuckles. “I love her with all of my being. Our marriage has been nothing but great for these past few years. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“That’s sweet,” Amy smiles and writes. “Tell me about your relationship with your parents.”

“Both our parents are dead. We don’t have any living relatives,” you answer. 

“To get with the technical questions, why do you want to adopt?”

“I’ve mentioned this before but I’m sterile. I can’t have children on my own. I know Steve wants a family. This is the only way I know how to give it to him. We don’t want to do fostering or a surrogate. We feel like it’s more our style to adopt.”

“What she said,” Steve chuckles.

“If granted the opportunity to adopt, what are your hopes for your child?”

“That they’re a good person,” Steve answers. “That they’ll see someone who needs help and will want to do that for them. Who will love unconditionally.”

“Alright,” Amy writes. “This is everybody’s least favorite section. I’ve done your background checks.” Your heart drops. This is it. This is where she tells you that you can’t adopt. “Now my main concern is your work with Hydra. You are the Vixen.”

“Were,” you correct. “I’m not that person anymore. Yes, I have done a lot of bad things in my life. Things you can’t possibly imagine. That isn’t who I am now. I have healed from that part of me. I got help. I made amends. I got Hydra out of my head. I don’t associate myself with those people anymore.”

“What about Bucky?”

“Bucky is healed, as well,” Steve takes over. “He went to Wakanda and underwent the same thing she did. They’re both trying to move on from their past.”

“That’s all it is, Amy. It’s my past. It’s not my present and it sure as hell isn’t going to be my future.”

Amy goes through more routine questions before she gets ready for the house inspection. You tell her the plans you have for the empty room which will be the nursery. She doesn't say much but she does write a lot of stuff down.

“Thank you for coming,” you say when she is done.

“I’ll be touch.”

As soon as the front door is closed, your smile is lost.

“God, we’re not going to get a kid. Did you see the look on her face when she mentioned Vixen? She knows I’ve killed before. What person would want me to be a mother?”

Steve pulls you close and lets you vent. “We won’t know more for a while. Let’s just try and keep a calm head. Even if she says no, we can try other avenues. We will be parents. You’d be a loving mother.”

And wait you did. For two long weeks. You thought that was their way of telling you that you weren't going to have a kid. Until your phone rang and changed your entire life.

“Hello?” you answer frantically.

“Hi, Y/N? I have some news regarding your adoption application.” You and Steve wait with held breaths. “I am very happy to say you’ve been approved. I can’t wait to work with you.”

“We can get a kid?” you ask tearfully.

“That’s the first part of the process. We have sent in your application to mothers who are looking to put their children up for adoption. If and when they pick you, I will call with the next steps.”

“Thank you so much.” You cry when she hangs up. “We’re getting a kid.”

Steve pulls you in and kisses the top of your head emotionally. You have to wait for a birth mother to pick you so until then, you just have to wait. Most couples wait months or even years to get called, but you get a call from Amy only a couple of days later with a date set to meet a birth mother who chose your application among a few others. You’re nervous as hell because what if she doesn’t pick you? What if she hates you as soon as she meets you?

You get to the office where the meetings are held and wait for Amy and the birth mother to come. Her name is Jessica and she is too young to be having a kid. She is only twenty-three and she doesn't want kids at this age. Maybe when she is older but definitely not now.

Jessica walks in and seems to be about six months pregnant. She just came back from meeting a potential couple, so you straighten up and smooth down your skirt to make yourself look more presentable.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you two. My name is Jessica.”

“Y/N and this is my husband, Steve. Thank you for seeing us.”

“Yeah, I was intrigued when I read about your hobbies and your work with Stark Industries. Did you know Tony?”

“Uh, yeah.” You look at Steve and have a silent conversation through your eyes. If she is going to pick you, she should know exactly who you are. “I hope this doesn’t affect us negatively but he’s Captain America and I’m… Vixen.”

It takes Jessica all of five seconds before she starts crying. This is it. This is where she runs for the hills and gets you blacklisted from ever adopting a child.

“Captain America saved my life,” she sniffles. “I was visiting a friend in Sokovia when Ultron happened. You saved me.” She turns to Amy and wipes her eyes. “I don’t want to see anyone else.” She looks at you with a teary smile. “I can’t think of anyone better to care for my child than you two.”

“I’ll get the paperwork started,” Amy smiles and leaves the room.

You can’t believe what you’re hearing. You’re getting a kid. You’re getting a kid. You’re finally able to start your own family.

x

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[ghouljams]

I have become absolutely OBSESSED with your Cowboy!141 fics! And I just have to ask... pretty pleaseeee could you write about how goose met Soap? I gotta know if Soap was equally as surprised to find out the cap had a daughter! anywaayyyys, I love your fics! And I hope you know your amazing!!! <3333

Goose and Soap met years ago! They met after Soap’s punching an officer fiasco, Price offered him a place to stay while the whole thing blew over. This is where I tell y’all that Price and Duck got married quick and young, typical military move, and Price tended to keep his family life to himself while he was working. So Soap didn’t realize he was going to be dealing with a high schooler when he agreed to spend a few weeks laying low, but they were thick as thieves almost immediately(much to Duck's chagrin).

Two things happen when Soap steps through customs. First: he realizes how fucking hot the American south is in the middle of July. Second: he is immediately accosted by two women he’s never met before. Or one woman and one teenager who looks rather embarrassed by her mum’s antics. 

“Sergeant MacTavish, right?” The woman asks, and he nods to be polite. He was told he’d be getting picked up from the airport but this was downright familial.

“You can call me Soap, ma’am.” 

“Why’d they call you Soap?” The teen makes a face.

“Goose, that’s enough.” Her mum tells her, in the same voice Soap used to get from his mum when he was being rude to strangers.

“Why’d they call you Goose?” He asks, scrunching his face up the same way, and watching the teen smile.

-

Soap is almost cool. He’s what you think having an older brother must be like. Plus you’re learning a lot of neat swears. He crouches next to you, twisting gas covered strings together to link the fireworks your mom bought. 

“Yer aff yer heid,” You tell him, “Mam’s gonna kill you if you blow up the barn again.”

“Ah dinnae blow up the barn,” Soap hauls you to your feet and tugs you away from the mess, “Ah burned it.” He thinks a moment then moves you back another few paces. “Don’t move.”

“Aye that’s an idea I ‘adn’t thought of.” You tell him, taking an extra step back from the mound of danger.

“Why’d I let you help with this?” Soap asks, going to light the first fuse.

“Because I caught you nipping scotch from Momma’s reserve.”

“Bloody American drinking age.” He grumbles, clicking his lighter on and narrowly avoiding setting the whole kit ablaze.

Your mom calls the fire department about half way through your show and you both get a talking to from the fire chief. Soap only looks sorry he was stopped.

-

“Soap.”

“Go’way Goose,” He grumbles, turning away from you and tugging his blankets up over his head.

“Come on,” You whine, “you said we’d go shooting today, and it’s almost noon.” Soap grumbles further, a hand reaching out from under the blankets to smack around and check his phone.

“You keep yellin’ at me an’ am gonnae be cross,” He groans, tossing his phone and sitting up. He stares at you for a long moment, eyes narrowed and shoulders hunched.

“Howzitgoan,” You ask.

“Am fuckin’ trollied.”

“Don’t drink so late, now get your kecks on.” Soap smacks you with his pillow until you leave the room laughing.

-

“That your boyfriend?” Soap asks as you hop in the cab of the family truck. You make a face and click your seat belt on.

“Gross no, he’s just some ROTC dick’ead.”

“Enlistedmen more your type eh?” He jokes throwing the truck into gear and peeling away from the movie theater. You roll your eyes.

“With how often my Da’s off getting shot at? I’d rather shoot myself than be a military wife.”

#cowboy!Soap #oc: Goose #Goose 🤝Soap: adhd siblings #Soap years later giving Goose absolute hell for chasing after Ghost #“He's a cowboy now that's different” #as if Ghost isn't on his knees the first time she calls him lieutenant #johnny soap mactavish #soap modern warfare #They really just cause havoc the whole summer #it is one of the best summers of either of their lives #Price swears Soap to secrecy in exchange for letting him go back next year #Duck starts doing doctors without borders as soon as Goose goes to college