#and now im understanding that's why i was always incredibly uncomfortable being a part of any christian community or group

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

Hey! I love your stuff!! Could you maybe do fem reader being insecure about how they look and the 141+ König comforting them?? Im sorry that I’m not giving you a lot of stuff to work with. And if you have already done something like this or feel uncomfortable doing it I 100% understand! I LOVEEE YOUU!!!🩷🩷

141 + König Comforting Insecure Reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of insecurities, crying, mentions of poor body image, mentions of bullying

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon Ghost Riley-

"Love, are you ready to go?" Simon's voice called from outside your door. "Reservations at five and it takes us about twenty minutes to get there."

"Yeah, I'm almost ready." You replied regarding yourself in the mirror. You felt the pit in your stomach grow as you turned to the side, inspecting the way your outfit made your stomach look.

You weren't always self-conscious, Simon always had a way of making you feel like the most beautiful person on the planet, but lately you'd noticed you'd been gaining some weight, and really felt like it was starting to show.

Unbeknownst to Simon, you'd been at the mirror for the better part of the afternoon, trying on outfit after outfit, trying to find something you felt good in.

"Love is everything-" He stopped short in the doorway when he heard your sniffles.

You turned to him with tears running down your cheeks, unable to hold them in any longer. "I hate my body, Simon."

Simon's heart slowly broke as he absorbed your words, his eyes softening as they landed on yours. "Y/N."

"No, it's true. I can't find any outfits that fit right. My stomach just feels like it's blown up ten sizes overnight, I just.. I hate the way my body looks." A soft sob escaped your lips as you spoke, causing Simon to walk up behind you, placing his arms around you.

"Enough of that. You are so, so incredibly beautiful inside and out, sweetheart." He spoke as he pulled you into his chest. "Please don't pick yourself apart like that. You're beautiful no matter what you've got on. I especially favor you without clothes, but that's just me."

You turned swiftly, playfully slapping at Simon's chest. "Si, I'm serious!"

"So am I, sweetheart." He leaned down to press a soft kiss on your lips. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever and will ever lay my eyes on. Nothing will change that."

"You mean that?"

"More than you will ever know. I know it's not easy to believe me, I've had my fair share of self-confidence issues, but love, you have no reason to be self-conscious." He got down on his knees in front of you and started to place various kisses across the length of your body.

"You're beautiful here. And here. And here." He murmured in between kisses before landing one on your tummy. "And most especially here."

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

"Y/N? Babe, are you okay?" Johnny called out as he searched the house trying to find you. The two of you were watching a movie together, and you'd dissaperwd nearly twenty minutes ago, claiming you needed to use the bathroom.

He walked into the bathroom and found you picking at yourself in the mirror, with tears streaming down your face.

He stood at the doorway and watched you for a moment, his eyes softening as he watched you pick at the skin of your face. He knew of your insecurities when it came to your skin, but he'd truly thought it was something you'd overcome.

"Babe, what are you doing?" He asked, approaching you from behind.

"I had a sore pimple, and I just came to put some cream on it..and I.. I didn't realize how bad it is." You sniffled softly, letting your hands fall to your sides in defeat.

"How bad what is?"

"My skin, it's just, I wish I had smooth skin like everyone else. I can't get rid of these scars no matter how much I try, and every time I wake up, there's a new pimple, and I... I feel so ugly."

"Now you listen to me." Johnny's voice was stern, causing you to look up at him through the mirror. "I don't know where this is coming from, or why you'd possibly feel this way, but you are so, so fucking beautiful, Y/N. So what if your skin isn't like everyone else's, it makes you YOU."

"But-"

"No buts. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has imperfections, and they are what make you human. I love everything about you, sweetheart, down to the last little scar you've got on your cheek. I love all of it."

You hiccuped a sob and turned to throw your arms around your boyfriend. "Thank you, Johnny."

"No, thank YOU for being you, love." He picked you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. "Now if you really want to thank me, you'll come watch this damn movie and let me cuddle your beautiful ass while we do."

John Price-

"Hey, I'd check on Y/N. There were some of those newer recruits harassing them earlier today." Kyle said, popping his head into his captians office.

John stood immediately, grabbing his hat as he made his way to your room. Fortunately for him your door was unlocked as he barged inside, only to find you in tears on your bed.

"What did they say?" John's tone was cold, and you could tell he was seething.

"What do you mean?" You asked, fiercely wiping away at your tears. You knew John knew, but were to embarrassed to talk about it.

"Y/N, honey, please tell me." He pleaded, kneeling in front of you.

You stayed quiet, your thoughts running rampant in your brain before you spoke up. "They were saying they don't know how someone like you is with someone like me and that I dont deserve to be on the team or deserve you."

"Look at me." He grabbed your chin gently, directing your gaze to him. "Those twats are just jealous of you. They've wanted on 141 for a while, and they were pissed you got the spot. None, and I mean none, of what they are saying is true."

"I can't help but let it get to me, John. I haven't felt good about myself in a while, and hearing that didn't help." Your eyes flickered down to your hands in front of you, as you fiddled with then nervously.

"Why on earth have you not felt good about yourself, babe? You are so stunning it hurts."

"I've gained weight, John, even you can't deny that. I got on the scale last night, and nearly broke down. I've never been this heavy before."

"The numbers that look back at you on the scale are just that. They are just numbers. They don't define you, love. You are a wonderful person inside and out, and anyone who doesn't see that can fuck right the hell off." He spoke gently before placing a chaste kiss to your lips. "I love you more than you'll ever know. Nothing will change that, especially not some stupid numbers on a scale or some petty recruits."

You threw your arms around him and let him hold you for some time, before pulling away. "I love you John."

"I love you too, always."

~

Later that week, John was elated as he got permission to lead a group of the newer recruits in a training seminar. When he found out the recruits who'd harrased you were a part of the group? Let's just say he didn't pull any punches during the training.

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

"Babe, the boys will be here any minute. Are you able to come help me in the kitchen?" Kyle asked poking his head into your shared bathroom.

You placed the straightener you were holding down on the counter and turned to Kyle with a sad smile. "Yeah, be there in a minute."

"Hey now, I know that look, what's up, kid?" His brows furrowed in concern as he walked over to you.

"I want to look good for you and your friends." You said, picking up the hair brush on the counter. You turned back to the mirror and started brushing at your hair aggressively.

"Sweetheart, who says you don't? You look as stunning as you do every day."

"My hair it just, I can't style it like how I want, it's just always a mess no matter what I do." You threw the brush you were holding down in frustration. "I don't feel pretty because of it."

"Babe, I love your hair." Kyle spoke, grabbing the brush off the floor. He moved you so that you were standing in front of him and began to brush at the strands of your hair softly.

"You have to say that, because you're my boyfriend."

"No, I don't. You and I both know I'm an honest man. I think your hair is beautiful, no matter what you do with it. Hell, you could shave it, and I'd look at you no differently than I already do."

"You mean it?" You asked, blinking away the tears.

"Of course I do, love. You're too hard on yourself, I promise you, you are so beautiful. If you want, if you really want to try out new hairstyles, why don't we look at pinterest or something to see about different ways to do your hair? I can help."

"I love you so much, Kyle." You turned around to grab the brush from his hands before placing a kiss on his lips.

"I love you too." He said pulling back with a smile. "By the way, the boys are your friends too."

"What?"

"The boys, you called them my friends. They love you just as much as they do me, if not more. They are your friends as well."

König-

König awoke to the sound of muffled sobs coming from the bathroom. He blinked the sleep from his eyes as he turned over to find your sleeping form absent from the bed.

"Schatz, what's wrong?" He asked as he shuffled into your shared bathroom. What he found had his heart tearing bit by bit.

You stood in front of the mirror in nothing but your undergarments, tears streaming down your face as you closely inspected the scars and marks littering your body. "I'm ugly, Kö. These marks make me hideous."

"Maus." He moved to stand next to you regarding you thoughtfully in the mirror. "Your marks are what make you beautiful. Each scar, each mark, tells a story, and I love each and every one of them."

"You don't have to say that, Kö. I know my body isn't perfect." Your voice cracked slightly as you spoke. Tears continued to fall down your cheeks as you looked back at the scars lining your skin. "I'm not perfect."

"Nobody is perfect, Maus, and if anyone were to be, it'd be you. I wish you saw what I do. I'd kill to have you see yourself through my eyes." He shuffled slightly to stand behind you as he leaned his head on yours. "Just as you told me when I was self-conscious about mine, the scars make us human, make us wholesome. Nobody is without them."

You gave him a small smile as you shook yourself before turning to him. "Thank you, Kö."

"You never have to thank me, Maus. I'm only speaking the truth."

You wrapped your arms around his med section and squeezed tightly. "Take me to bed?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: thanks for reading

#cod imagine #mw2 imagine #simon riley imagine #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost mw2 #konig x reader #konig imagine #konig mw2 #captain price #price x reader #price imagine #gaz imagine #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #soap mctavish #soap imagine #soap x reader

[cacaitos]

(setting lhc aside for the moment) well, let's get out of the way the long overdue thoughts on blue period, mostly for the sake of further conversation. (mucho texto tw)

clearly i lost the peak on popularity and attention it had and at this point, if you've heard it's good in that good taste gang type of animanga fan voice, well yeah it is. i gots nothing new to say on that regard. if anything the tone and artstyle were the differentiating factors from the outside impression i got from it, not so much on the big strokes (like the spokon-like sense of urgency and vigor, but that's serious enough that people seem to express being moved in specific ways).

those things i get- but tsubasa's incredibly thin and sinuous line art, and her high contrast, flatter use of shadows (and inking)- i think were the ones that best ended up portraying yatora's feelings. in my opinion, the greatest feeling i got all through reading BP was tension, a certain uneasyness. now BP isn't necessarily a downer series- it's got its consistent sense of optimism and interpersonal warmess- but it ambients always have a certain air of loneliness, coldness, the aforementioned uneasyness and sensation that there's always Something- that something is gonna happen or that something is lurking aorund- that sort of feeling yk?

the lineart, to me, makes me think of asumiko nakamura's and her bodies that- while they do evidence her skill with the line and detail- at moments feel almost grotesque or sort of uncomfortable to look at, at least. tsubasa's even thiner lines, while she doesnt get to the point of nakamura (and im not saying she was inspired by nakamura. dunno if she's that popular to inspire people like that), make her characters- their expressions and body, look even more fragile, like a balloon about to burst, a thin skin.

clearly a lot of the time is dedicated to make understand that yatora is less of a social butterfly, much more shyer, more sensitive, more concerned and aimless than he might seem at first glance. much more fragile, in personality and identity, than he might have thought of himself. within the undercurrent of all the takes in the manga of what makes good art, or a good artist, as an extension of the many ways one can define one's idenity and relationshisps with others, i cannot really tell you which is more true or anything like that... but what i do feel is that in yatora's pursuit to find out, more often than not, what he results in is alienating himself from others (from the abovementioned traits). now, obviously some stories about identity do end up having similarly arduous and downer types of arcs but usually more on the Relationships Are Dificult angle than the stressful part being the action itself of selfdiscovering, an stress of the Individual. i said in my LB that if you told me BP was a cautionary tale i would believe you (half joking tbh), mostly refering to this seemingly (in my opinionnnn) downward emotional arc yatora seems to be going into so far in the story. i understand it's not necessarily a bad thing it's *happening* bc some parts are just gonna be tough and can ease with time, but it's nonetheless a fact that it *is* happening and feels bad.

closing, with the paragraphs stating how i feel about the art and specifying the uneasyness, and the above part on yatora now i think i can elaborate on why the former complements the latter, though it's probably apparent by now. yes the loneliness of shadows felt the strongest as the gedai exam approached and yatora's physical state worsened against his loved ones preocupation, and on the cold room he was in with yuka. the same room they did their self portraits and the odd lineart shows us as awkward as yatora (or yuka, anyway) sees himself (following the theme of identity etc). yes it's stressing to wonder if he passed and relaxing when he did, but the tone hasnt changed one bit. *here*, when he does get to gedai is that the real uneasyness starts and contrary to the clear objective or urgency of the exam, there's not really anything that allows for that tension to be released. nothing bad is happening and being a bit hurt is part of the process, yes; he as many others does have to learn to take critiques and not break down as easily, yes; but the tension persists.

it is a style that portrays very closely his sense of aimlessness of coming of age, of profession, imo. of shallow accomplishment -not bad- but rather non-cathartic. at the verge, and never quite there, of an emotion. of course we're in the middle of the story i assume so it's not like i find the sense of unreleased tension comes out of nowhere if anything particularly important happens, but also there's just a certain reality to that sort of static state.

but while yatora's spirits seem to go progressively down while relatively good things happen to/around him, and he seems to.. administrate his emotions better or at least neutralize them, all i can worry about is something like the exam rash happening again. a combination of his alienating tendencies and unexamined, unattended personal and honest feelings and needs. hence why i mention the neverending sense of tension so much, bc now what was limited by the Event creeps much more slower and all the time as he navigates this part of the story where he's much more heavily scrutinized.

#txt #all im asking is to give yatora a good hearty cry or something of that sort brother you need it i need it-

[butchniqabi]

hiii why did you say "autism is a spectrum (gag)" in the tags of one of the posts you reblogged? is there anything wrong / uncomfortable about saying autism is a spectrum? just curious what ur thoughts are, have a nice rest of ur day!

its largely in part because they way people talk about autism in terms of a spectrum is not all that accurate or understanding for that matter. most view it as this:

if youre on one side of the spectrum you are denied your autonomy (and humanity, imo), while on the other you are denied support. now im hardly the Autism Authority, but it does display a fundamental misunderstanding of what autism *is*. if you were to say that autistic manifestations (social ability, sensory input, hand-eye coordination, etc) were on a spectrum it would make more sense. its possible that it was intended to be used like that, but the present uses are incredibly uncomfortable for me. it essentially functions as a scale of "normalcy" to determine how you will treat someone, and this always majorly impacts people who are "low functioning" or are "on the far end of the spectrum." those phrases are dirty words because of its connotations and implications. every autistic person's experiences are different and people have different levels of what it manageable, tolerable, or peaceful. i hate being in crowds and noise while a boy i knew used to love pep rallies because of the noise and would listen to edm concerts to focus.

im not explaining well but limiting autism to a sliding scale shows a misunderstanding of the experience and primarily serves to categorize and label autistics as "easy, medium, hard" in terms of support and wellness.

#asks #does that make sense......

[buff-borf-bork]

ignore me, im simply frustrated thinking at 2am about the most common online discourse's lately that i thought everyone outgrew by now

:/ some of you guys are absolute freaks about kinks. its way more weird and creepy to be so obsessed with other people's sex lives than anything consenting could do adults.

i dont think some of you understand the difference between "this makes ME personally uncomfortable" and "that must mean its EVIL"

could you imagine walking up to someone irl and going HEY HEY HEY tell me ALL OF your kinks and i'll decide based on my own personal feelings and thing else if youre a bad person or not! every time someone tired to talk to you.

the human psyche is way too weird and complicated to boiled down to the black and white "pro vs anti" and deranged dni lists, stuff that i thought people outgrew in the late 2010s and is now being used to make harmful to EVERYBODY laws.

i dont support the stupidity of that for the same reason i dont support the death penalty. it never stop at just who YOU PERSONALLY think is a bad person or bad thing. like the "tiger eating face" political comic/meme but youre too blinded by simple white and black thinking or wanting to virtue signal that you dont see the bigger picture.

fuck, even when you DO approve of it, you want written receipts of people traumas which is messed up on its own, but its also, as stated by ACTUAL psychologists healthy and normal to explore dark topics in the safe space of fiction. literally google ANY dark topic and psychology and it will always show you articles by people who know what theyre talking about, that it is healthy and normal. much better sources than your personal discomfort.

kill the cop inside your head because it is literally making your mental health WORSE. thought crimes arent real but repression is! and will do you much more harm!

now of course there is science for being exposed to things at a young age will make you more likely to enact those things. which is why the answer isnt to make everything child friendly but to have adult spaces! which are constantly being taken away from the internet by ADVERTISERS!

its all just so much more complicated and nuanced than most seem to want to admit and it just gets so frustrating to see all the time 🫠

edit: and a part of me feels bad for getting heated about it, cause i know 90% of it is rooted in the fact that the internet has become a 'surveillance state'. of course thats gonna make people more paranoid. its still incredibly frustrating.

#frustration #venting #into the void #its almost 3am now #its finals week/s #ignore me #im not gonna be changing anyones mind if they feel a certain way anyways #so many people are just way too concerned about what everyone else has going on instead of having real problems

[kittiesjournal]

My Autistic Journey

It is typical to hear from autistic people that they grew up knowing that they were weird, different and out of place with other individuals and in social groups, and I am not excluded from that experience, however I wasn't the most aware of it as I grew up. I thought my differences were simply because I had different interests, hobbies and personality, not that my excessive “shyness”, restrictive and repetitive behaviours and sensory preferences weren’t something that would magically disappear when I got older. I remember having fantasies of how popular I would be when I got to high school… I was so terribly wrong. 

I won't lie, my memory sucks, I have a lot of trouble remembering autistic traits I had experienced in my early childhood. I find myself struggling to remember a lot of things from growing up unless I had paid special attention to those moments in time. However, the first moment I realised that I could be autistic was in Year 10, I spent so much time researching every single symptom I could. This revelation sparked a grand understanding of myself and I finally felt as if I could see myself better. The mirror before was always cloudy but now, I could now clearly see the glimmer in my eyes; a part of my true self. 

Things began to fall into place, this was the reason I felt so alien to the world around me, why I felt like I had never belonged anywhere. The year prior to my revelation; the dreaded year 9, was the worst year in my schooling. With an increase in my anxiety and depression, being bullied and being incredibly disconnected from my friend group at the time, it is no shock to why it was the worst. My social confidence and my skills are definitely lacking due to being autistic however the way i was treated within my old friend group did not help. I was constantly shut down and complained about when I would infodump about my interests, and excluded frequently. Now briefly, i would like to mention a funny little tale of my primary school years;

If I had a dollar for every time i was abandoned by my friends during break times after I had been in the bathroom, then  not being able to find them and ending up crying to my sister, I would have $2, which isn’t a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

This, in my high school experience, transformed into being excluded from group plans and told things like “omg sorry we forgot to add you to the group chat - we totally will though”. Loneliness was my truest friend in that group. Although I had put on a mask constantly in hopes to be treated the same as the individuals in the group, I ended up, during break times, simply not talking. There would be maybe a couple words in response to questions but that was the first instance in my life my anxiety and uncomfortability caused me to become frequently non (or at least low) verbal. 

In response to my experiences with that friend group, I found myself repressing who I was and what I loved. I am still to this day afraid of info-dumping and often apologise after I catch myself doing it. I mask so much it instead feels fake when I am being my autistic self,  I believe I lost touch with myself. I felt so disconnected from people that it became hard to feel like I was truly friends with anyone. Many nights were spent crying because I am not normal, not like everyone else. I begged the universe to let me be normal. But of course, because im autistic, my brain just wasn’t built ‘normal’, I don’t understand how to socialise, I don’t understand non-verbal communications and don’t even get me started with understanding emotions. I could not understand why I couldn’t bond with people the same way they did with each other and often questioned why everyone was closer with each other than I could ever experience. I know that even now, I don’t think I could ever feel and experience friendship the way everyone does, and I missed out on that crucial part of life. It's like I'm on a different plane of existence, akin to the artificial intelligence in media that other characters may care for but never in the same, human way they bond with each other. Some nights I still cry. Some days I'm still extremely lonely.

In spite of all my troubles and loneliness I was lucky to find some light, in my later years of schooling and to the present time, I have some pretty amazing friends and I am slowly learning how to exist in friendships while being my more authentic autistic self. Weirdly enough, these friends are all likely to be Neurodivergent (i helped them realise) and i guess that makes it easier. Even though I have these amazing friends, I'm still learning how to be myself around them and I still at times feel disconnected - not knowing how to socialise and my other autistic struggles don’t just disappear. There have been many occurrences where I have completely fumbled and messed up in these friendships but they understand me better than any other friends I have had.

Some quick acknowledgements of two important people in my life;

I have had one consistent friend since year 4; my best friend and I am grateful for you, that you’ve been by my side while I've been figuring all of this out. Also I'm sorry that you’ve had to coincide with my autistic self since we were 10 (sorry i made you reenact frozen everyday).

And in addition to friendships, romantic relationships are another terrifying territory. I don’t know the right things to say, how often to talk and how to keep conversations flowing, flirting is a mystery, and I don't know how to show my feelings and at times it may seem harder to tell if I care. But, I promise I will. To my girlfriend, my dearest, I'm sorry and thank you for being kind and patient, for always supporting and encouraging me in all my ‘quirkiness’.

These experiences, my mistakes, help me grow everyday and due to the extensive support of those around me I felt encouraged and confident enough to seek a diagnosis for my autism. However my journey of getting a diagnosis was extremely rocky. The first time I had brought up my thoughts on me being autistic to my mother I was met with a “why” and silence, the second time she asked if I wanted to try and get a diagnosis - I obviously said yes. This began my experience with the company Autism SA. I completed a self-referral application to get an appointment, I was sent paperwork and forms to fill and send back, and was told I would have to be on the waiting list for 18 months. In the end I didn't have to wait the full 18 months, I got my appointment, I went in at 9:30am on the 6th of February and that afternoon I realised this was one of the worst days of my life. They told me I didn't meet the criteria (in the feedback report I received on a later date they wrote that I met none of the criteria - the biggest lie I have ever heard). The appointment was fraudulent, I felt so uncomfortable and anxious because this was something I had never done before with complete strangers, so I masked. They sat me in a room constructed for young children, just me and the speech pathologist and she asked me questions, but nothing too in depth about my autistic experiences. It was obvious she only knew autism as the basic textbook version of male-aligned traits, it was obvious that she; a neurotypical, allistic individual would never understand me. I have many regrets that day, i should have said more about my traits and experiences, shown a list of them, let myself not mask for once in my damn life -  maybe then things would have been different and i would be sitting here writing about how great it is to be able to receive help and be understood. Instead, that afternoon, I cried and cried and cried. For the first time in a while I cried in my mothers arms, I think in that moment she truly understood the autistic me. I had never felt so invalidated and unheard in my life, i felt more depressed and alone than i ever felt just existing as an autistic person in this unfit world. I still feel that way anytime i think about that day for too long, it's hard to write this all down. Autism SA told me it was most likely “just anxiety”, like what many AFAB individuals are told when they are actually autistic, as if my anxiety doesn’t stem from my autistic traits and struggles. 

This terrible moment in my life was of course not the end, life flows on and I had to as well- so I wrote a 5000 word document on all of my autistic traits to prove them wrong (i sent it to the psychologist who had been in charge of my assessment). 

After getting out the frustration and needing to feel validated for my experience, I am in a better state of mind. I read Chloé Hayden’s book Different, Not Less (and watched so many of her YouTube videos) and I felt seen, I felt inspired. So now, in my present self, I am learning to be my truest self, my special interests are accepted; I am creating art everyday and now I'm writing too. I let myself stim in around others and in public, i don't ignore my sensory struggles and instead i make accommodations and seek support for them. I can notice when I am burnt out and I take care of myself when I am. There has been so much I have struggled with in terms of my autism but I can write about those another time, for now this is one step. Now I am and always will be honest about who I am. I am autistic.

#blog #blog post #autism #actually autistic

[merrilldidnothingwrong]

okay theres something thats been on my mind for quite a while now, but i wasn't sure how to say it.

i'm not trying to be a hater or insult anybody, i just need to say this.

anders has been my comfort character for a long time, i admired how he sticks up for himself when he is deeply traumatized, and i understand why he is. he is funny, love his love for cats, and his merging with justice and how it was a good decision and how he becomes one of anders biggest friend.

but i just can't keep being a stan when in da2 he is deeply insulting to the elf companions and in general. yes it is "bad writing" but for the DA fans who are not white, it is incredibly uncomfortable.

he invalidates fenris trauma, talks down to him, tries to make him see HIS side and ignore his own pain. fenris does an excellent job of taking care of himself (and yes he shoots back some hurtful comebacks) but all in all, he is very self centered in who he is fighting for.

i cant even deal with how he talks to merrill. treats her like she's stupid (she is very smart) and i dont even know the banter, i cannot put them together anymore. merrill is a mage and yet he doesn't care they have that in common. if she was a human would he treat her better? he treats bethany fairly, and admires how she was kept out of the circle. just like merrill did. but insults her left and right for how she performs spells.

he says the elves should join in the plight of the mages but would he join in fighting FOR the elves?

he gets along fine with the human companions (butts heads with sebastian because of the chantry propaganda, which is understandable) but for the most part gets along with aveline, the same one who turns in mages. he TRIES to get along. even carver who is constantly putting him down and invalidating his trauma.

i've never rivaled him in game, i always get full approval.

but the whole point of this is me saying i see anders as a white feminist.

all he cares about is his own views and isn't open to others pov.

one of the best examples of being more instersectional is leliana. you can call her out for her views about elves and she stops and reflects on it. now we can't do that in da2 but i imagine he would not be open to it. he shows no remorse for how he treats the elves (companions). he was in the circle for a long time so theres no excuse for him not to notice how elves are treated.

like i said im not trying to insult anybody who is a fan, i understand that you are.

but putting anders as the biggest rebel of the DA series is a mistake when fiona exists, and all the other mages who started the rebellion before him.

#anders critical #please do not take this personally #it is just my view of him #and dont make excuses either

[duskholland]

Meet Your Match || Mob!Tom Smut

Summary ↠ It’s always awkward when your current boyfriend meets your ex, but it’s a whole new level when it transpires that your ex-boyfriend is the leader of Tom’s rival mob...

Warnings ↠ 18+, contains mature nsfw material. There are extended warnings beneath the cut, but this is quite heavy. 

Word count ↠ 5.9k

A/N ↠ Genuinely am shocked that this came out of my head tbh. It is very intense so please consult the warnings before you dive in ! The entire concept of the first half is very random and almost crack, but then the second half...phew. Sheesh. Thanks to V, mischiefandi, for suggesting I write in a hot Irish mobster as Y/N’s ex...love that for her, and I love you V. I hope you all enjoy this :)

This is a part of my mob!Tom series – a collection of oneshots set within the same universe. You don’t need to read the other parts for this to make sense! You can find the other parts in my masterlist.

18+ do not touch this if you are a minor. 

extended warnings: lol. mob themes including gun mention and punching, a broken nose ft minor mentions of blood, a bit of a dodgy ex who makes some uncomfortable comments, alcohol, possessive!jealous!Tom, d/s dynamics, soft!dom!Tom, mean!dom!Tom, thigh riding, oral (f receiving), spitting, orgasm denial and edging, guided masturbation, rough sex, doggy-style, like two minor instances of spanking, he calls her slut once. im not here to fuck around this goes hard so if you aren’t into rough stuff this isn’t for you. also includes unprotected sex -- please practise safe sex (condoms provide barriers against STIs as well as unwanted pregnancy. pls be safe irl). i would like mob!tom to rail me thank u. enjoy.

--------- Meet Your Match ---------

You’d never given much thought to the possibility of Tom meeting one of your exes. Why would you, when being with him is infinitely more satisfying, loving, and enjoyable than it had ever been with one of them? 

But if you’d had to imagine it, you would’ve pictured it casually. Maybe you’d be out somewhere together - at a café, or a market, with Tom’s arm wrapped safely around you. You’d see your ex - whoever it may be - and there’d be an awkward encounter. The exchange of painful hellos and goodbyes, maybe some piercing stares, and pinched words. Then, you’d move on, and that would be that. 

Never, in your wildest dreams, would you have imagined you’d run into your ex-boyfriend whilst in attendance at a meeting of the London mobs. 

It’s a special event - a large, networking occasion, organised by Tom, as an opportunity for him to meet with his partners and rivals, as they come together to cordially bond over beer and discuss business plans. It’s hosted right in the centre of Piccadilly, in the elegant conference room of a luxurious hotel. You’re just starting to relax and settle in when you glance across the room and see him:

Aidan. Your ex-boyfriend. At… A meeting of the mobs of London? 

“What the fuck,” you mutter. You almost drop your glass of champagne as you narrow your eyes and stare. The conference room is vast, adorned with glittering chandeliers and large banquet tables, but it’s undeniable: Aidan is here. 

“Everything alright, love?” Tom’s by your side, one of his arms wrapped loosely around your shoulders. He’s in remarkably high spirits this evening. The event is fully underway, and judging by the snippets of conversation you’ve been hearing, Tom’s latest plans are coming into fruition - something about warehouses, and a shipment of class A drugs. But none of it matters now, because your mind is entirely elsewhere.

“No,” you state immediately. 

Tom cranes his neck, his eyes seeking you out. You manage to drag your gaze away from Aidan for a brief second.

“What is it?” He’s looking at you with those deep, warm brown eyes, and his gaze is so tender it makes your breath hitch. One of Tom’s fingers moves up to caress your cheek, and you find yourself shifting guiltily on your feet.

“Who, exactly, did you invite to this meeting?” You ask your boyfriend, speaking in hushed tones. Your eyes slip back to Aidan, and you feel yourself relax as you note he’s still deep in conversation with a few men. 

“Suppliers, rivals, allies… Anyone of importance, really.” Tom narrows his eyes, his thumb brushing over your chin as he looks at you closely. “Why?”

“Did you know that you’ve also invited my ex-boyfriend?”

Judging by the look of utter shock on Tom’s face, he had not, in fact, realised his fundamental truth.

“Who?” He asks immediately. His face shifts through several shades before settling on jealous, with his eyebrows bunched together. 

You turn around, resting one hand on the broad shoulder of Tom’s suit before using your other to point out across the crowd.

“Aidan.” 

Tom squints his eyes, a small rumbling noise travelling up his throat. “Aidan?” He repeats, his voice flooded with confusion. You hum affirmatively. “Bloke with the blond hair? Irish?” Again, a hum. Tom releases a short, curt chuckle. “Angel, he’s not called Aidan.”

“What?” You exclaim. 

Tom releases a deep sigh. “That’s Gordy. He runs the Eastside.” 

You feel your jaw loosen. A fake name. “Gordy Byrne?”

“The one and only.”

“Shit.”

You’ve been with Tom for a year. Over those long, fulfilling twelve months, you’ve picked up on several important key pieces of information about the London mob: it’s split into three factions, each sector run by a different figurehead. Tom and his family control the South-West, and they’re in constant disagreement with Gordy, of the East, and Monique, of the North. Each third is continuously testing the waters, trying to take over land, and supplies, and emerge as the solo Kingpin of London. The fragile alliance between the three families is constantly on the verge of disintegration. 

And Gordy is your ex, who you’d met three years ago at the same exclusive club you’d worked in when you’d met Tom. Your relationship had lasted eight months and ended on equal terms as you’d mutually agreed the spark had fizzled away. Despite the considerable span of your relationship, you’d had no suspicions that he’d been involved with the mob. The thought is incredibly jarring.

“Seems like you have a type,” Tom comments, his voice entirely too flippant. 

Before you can call him out on his apparent feelings of resentment, your evening takes a further turn as you realise Gordy has spotted you and is now working his way through the sea of people towards you. 

He looks just as you remember: 6’2, blond, green-eyed. His shoulders are stocky and broad, and his suit bulges with disguised muscles. He maintains that signature swagger you’d come to associate with him, his eyes glinting as he throws out a wild smile. Your eyes catch on the presence of a few new golden teeth fixed in his mouth, and then to the tattooed knuckles that hang by his side.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” Gordy greets, green eyes skimming across you appreciatively, “Who’d ‘a thought we’d meet again?”

All you can really do is let out a squeak of agreement, and pull away from Tom’s side to greet the man with a kiss on the cheek. The familiar scent of Gordy’s musky cologne drifts up your nose, and it makes your head spin.

“What are you doing here?” You ask as you pull away, looking at him incredulously. His pale cheeks wear a scruff of fuzz, highlighting the high arches of his cheekbones. 

“What are you doing here?” He returns, his Irish accent twanging. His eyes shift over to Tom, then back to you, and then they watch as Tom reaches out and carefully tangles his fingers with yours. “Wait…”

“Evening, mate,” Tom greets, voice a little clipped. You feel the grip on your hand tighten, and you let him reel you back into his side. You find home beneath Tom’s heavy arm as he repositions it across your shoulder, keeping you near. “I see you’ve already met my girlfriend.”

The air seems to flicker with tension.

“Interesting,” Gordy comments. He shifts his attention back to you, drawing the lines of your face with his curious eyes. “Didn’t take you for the type, Y/N. Would’ve stuck around if I’d thought you could handle this life.”

His words dig into you, and you find yourself clenching your teeth.

“You told me you worked in banking.”

“Oh, I do.” He runs his fingers down the front of his designer suit, winking. “The mob is quite a lucrative business.” He pauses, and something a little like guilt flashes over his face. “You know my real name, yeah? Gordy, not Aidan. Sorry about that. I hate the lies, but they’re for protection, y’know.”

You feel almost dizzy as you bring your glass of champagne to your lips and throw it back. The bubbles do little to soothe down your discomfort.

“Wow,” you manage. Your eyes shift up to Tom, who’s looking at Gordy with apprehension in his gaze. You understand why: for the past two months, Tom’s been engaged in a brutal turf-war with Gordy’s family over in the South-East. Men have died, shipments stolen. You know one of Tom’s primary motivations for the meeting tonight was to see if he could reach some kind of agreement with them, but the circumstances were tense enough as it was, before this. 

“Isn’t this fun,” Gordy comments. He’s eyeing up Tom now, a cocky smirk hanging from his plush lower lips. “Well, Thomas, it’d seem you and I have a lot more in common than we’d thought, eh? Maybe we’ll be able to come to an agreement.” 

Your stomach turns, and you feel Tom tighten his grip on your arm. He clears his throat, and when he speaks, his tone is so severe that it knocks the air from your lungs.

“Don’t talk about Y/N like that,” he warns darkly. “We will not be making any deals tonight, Gordy.”

You raise your eyebrows, trying to meet his eyes but finding that Tom ignores your attempts and instead keeps staring straight ahead at your ex-boyfriend, a determined frown hanging from his thin lips.

“Why’s that, Thomas?” He quips.

“I don’t like your attitude, I don’t like your policies, and I don’t like the way you’re looking at my girlfriend.” 

Gordy arches an eyebrow. His hand slips down slowly to rest on his hip, but not before his suit jacket has ridden up just enough to expose the sleek outline of his gun, hanging low in the holster on his belt.

“Is this how it’s going to be, Tom?” He asks, shifting his eyes back to you. “Eh? I bed your bird and suddenly business is off the table?”

You can feel the mood sour, and as much as you’d like to reach out and give Gordy a piece of your mind, you are painfully aware of the circumstances: you are standing in the lion’s den. Despite the meeting of Tom’s creation, you know that there’s no chance in hell that Gordy has walked into the evening alone. To initiate any sort of heated discussion whilst surrounded by London’s most notorious gangsters would be a disastrous move.

“Tom,” you murmur, recognising all too well the signs of anger that curl out across Tom’s face: his clenched jaw, the deep frown marks on his forehead, the tight line of his lips. “Let’s go.”

For a moment you think he’s going to follow you. Tom lets you shrug off his arm and take his hand, and his posture loosens as if he’s about to turn and walk across the room with you. But then, of course, Gordy just has to get in the last word.

“Oh, well, if you’re going, you won’t mind giving me a goodbye kiss, eh, Y/N?” He peers at you with mischievous eyes, his voice lilting lightly. “Just like old times?”

Tom’s moving before you can even attempt to stop him, and you hear a loud crack as his fist sweeps up and collides with Gordy’s nose. The man doubles over, groaning profusely, and your eyes widen as you take in the stream of blood that immediately begins to pour from his face.

“Tom!” You exclaim, your eyes wide and your hands shaking. Your boyfriend grabs at your fingers, squeezing your digits in his.

“He’s not allowed to disrespect you like that,” he mutters darkly. 

“I don’t need you to defend me, I can do it myself,” you hiss back. Your heart pounds in your chest, but you feel the hot lump of anger melt away as Tom looks at you through those brown, golden eyes, his mouth positioned into a guilty smile. 

Two men emerge from the crowd and flank Gordy’s side. You feel a deep swell of fear pool in the pit of your stomach, and instinctively your fingers move down towards your bag for the switch-blade you’d buried alongside your lipstick. But you find your actions stilling as Gordy clears his throat, rights himself and holds up a bloody hand.

“It’s fine,” Gordy tells his guards. He tilts his head in your direction. “I deserved it. No disrespect to the lady.” His beady green eyes move to Tom. “We can finish this discussion some other time, Thomas. Good evening to you both.” 

Before waiting to see if Gordy turns around and walks away, you tighten your grip on Tom’s hand and lead him out of the large conference room. It’s completely silent, and the groups of people seem to part like the sea as you escort your boyfriend from the scene, his lips brushing over the back of his bruised hand as he winces. You don’t say anything, not until you’re safely stowed away in the backseat of a large car, the doors locked, windows tinted, and driver separated by partition.

“Love, look, I’m sorry, but I-”

You cut Tom off by climbing from your seat and meeting his mouth with a deep, needy kiss. Your boyfriend releases a noise of surprise, and his hands shift up to grab at your waist as he pulls you onto his lap eagerly, pressing back against your lips with fervour. It’s messy, and you enjoy running your hands through strands of his unruly hair as he keeps you close, his fingers grasping at every area of your front and sides, mapping you out.

“What did I do to deserve that?” Tom murmurs, his curious eyes meeting yours. “Thought I was in trouble.” His hands cup your cheeks, and you give him a coy smile.

“You shouldn’t have punched him,” you tell him, biting your lip as his thumb brushes over the soft skin of your face. “I’m glad that you did, though. He was a dick.” 

Tom hums. “And also the enemy, love.”

Your eyebrows knit together, and you sit back on Tom’s wide thighs as you sigh. “I can’t believe he runs one of the other mobs,” you mutter. “I can’t believe I’ve dated two mobsters, and I didn’t even know.”

Tom’s smile doesn’t quite stretch to his eyes, but he still manages a short chuckle. “I hate the thought of you being with him,” he admits. His eyes stir with something darker, and his fingers dig into your waist. “I hate the thought of you being with anyone other than me.”

You bite your lower lip as you twirl the short strands at the nape of his neck around your fingers. “It was a long time ago,” you tell him. “Our relationship wasn’t anything of consequence.”

Your boyfriend chuckles, but he’s still got that hungry glint in his eyes. You feel a shiver roll down your spine as his gaze sweeps across your face, his hands shifting up to rest on the curves of your breasts. Your dress is thin, and the neckline meant you had to go without a bra. A soft gasp falls past your lips as Tom’s thumbs brush over the lines of your nipples, which prick in response to his touch.

“Is our relationship of consequence?” Tom asks, his voice dancing. He’s staring at your chest now, his smirk widening as you instinctively push further into his hands, enjoying the feeling of his large, warm palms groping at your breasts.

“Of course.” You swallow and bring your fingers away from his neck. With careful movements, you reach up and pull the straps of your dress from your shoulders, meeting Tom’s gaze as you roll down the front of the garment, exposing your bare chest to him. “I love you.”

Tom seeks out your neck with his lips, and you release a small gasp as he sucks firmly on the base of your throat, his fingers moving over your bare chest. You can feel his mouth pulling the blood to the surface of your skin, but the pain makes you cry out in pleasure as your fingers wrap around his suit jacket and fist at the expensive material hugging his back. He takes his time as he works his way up your neck, sucking and biting, and then soothing the throbbing marks with gentle laps of his tongue and soft, open-mouthed kisses. By the time he reaches your ear, you’re squirming in his lap.

“You are mine.”

His tongue teases the lobe of your ear as his hands move all across your bare back, caressing your skin gently with his palms. The cold metal of his silver rings bites to touch, but you shiver in enjoyment.

“Yours,” you agree. Tom shifts from your neck to look at you straight on, his eyes full of dark, heady lust.

“Mine,” he repeats. His mouth is on yours, and you let him prise apart your lips with his tongue. His hands fist at your hair and he pulls you closer roughly, and your teeth collide as he kisses you sloppily, groaning into your mouth. It’s messy - with noses bashing and his digits tugging at your strands and your lips moving everywhere, slick with spit - but you feel him gather you up in his arms as he holds you. He owns you.

You make-out until the car arrives home, at which point your lips are tender and puffy and your entire body throbs with persistent arousal. Tom’s eager with his affection, but you can feel the underlying pulse of fear coasting through his veins; you want so desperately to placate it: to let him know that he has nothing to worry about - that you are his now, and probably always will be. Tom’s not alone in his discomfort - you, too, feel jilted and unbalanced after running into a ghost from your past. You need Tom desperately, in more ways that one. You need him to look after you - to hold you, be firm with you, and show you your place within your relationship. You need him to be your dom, and you crave the release of submitting to him entirely - with your mind, body and heart.  

“You can do anything you want to me tonight,” you tell him. You’re standing at the foot of the bed, Tom sitting up against the headboard. His suit jacket lays off to the side, tie hanging loose around his neck and his top two buttons undone. You’ve made a mess of his hair, but he looks so fucking pretty with his chestnut curls all tousled and his lips bright pink and inflamed. 

“That’s funny,” Tom comments, eyes glinting as he tilts his head to the side, “I thought I could already do that.” 

His words send a shiver down your spine, and you find yourself biting your lower lip as your face fills up with heat.

“Do you want me to take off my dress?” Your fingers toy with the straps, which are all rolled up and uneven thanks to the hastiness in which you’d scrambled from the car.

“No.” Tom sits up, and he pats his thigh invitingly. “Take off your panties and come up here.”

You tease him a little bit, enjoying the way his gaze weighs down your figure. You’re slow to push your dress up to your waist, and you make a show of hooking your index fingers beneath the band to reveal lacy panties. You tug at the material until it falls to pool at your feet, and then you delicately step away from them and approach your boyfriend. You have a sudden thought that it’s as if you are the prey, walking straight into danger, but you welcome it: Tom’s looking at you, his expression hard but excited and his eyes swimming with darkness, and it makes your throat dry up. 

“Such a gorgeous girl, aren’t you?”

The material of Tom’s slacks feels coarse against your centre as you straddle his left thigh. His hands press at your waist, pushing your cunt straight against his leg, and the contact makes you moan softly.

“You look so pretty with your neck all marked up.” Tom presses a light kiss to one of your hickeys, and you gasp as a line of pain ripples out across your skin. “You look like you’re mine.”

“I am.”

“I know.” Tom strokes his hand through your hair, eyes watching you carefully. “I’m just going to remind you.”

“And how exactly do you plan on doing that?” You ask, your voice wavering.

He hums, the noise suspended with confidence. “You’ll see.” His hands dig into your waist a little firmer, and he starts to guide your movements. “Work yourself against my thigh, darling. Make a nice wet spot for me.”

His words make you moan, and you’re quick to comply. You recognise the dark glint in his eyes and the layers to his voice - he’s slipping away into his harder, more dominative side, just as you find yourself eager to oblige him. You grind yourself down over his thigh, and his trousers are rough against your flushed centre. The friction burns beautifully. A few moans slip past your lips, and your eyes squeeze shut as his hands press over you, digging into your waist, guiding you. Tom is very much in control, and as the seconds slip past, you give into it.

“Tell me how it feels,” he murmurs, rich voice drifting into your ears. You bite your lip, your hole clenching around nothing as you swivel your hips and feel the pressure to your hot bud.

“Feels really good,” you admit, voice a whimper. “Love it when you let me touch you.” 

Tom takes your chin between two fingers, looking at you with a hard stare. He pulls your face to him, his tongue licking a wide stripe over your lips. As you try to push forward for a kiss, he just moves away, a teasing smirk on his lips. “No,” he says softly, “You’ll take what I give you, and you won’t be greedy about it. I don’t want to have to punish you, babygirl.”

You nod quickly, the movement hurried and messy. It’s getting hard to think of anything other than the fact you’ve made his trousers slick with your arousal. The burn between your legs is gradually swelling to a crescendo.

“Sorry,” you whisper. Your fingers find purchase on his shoulder, and you find your forehead dropping down to rest there too as your breathing hitches.

“Are you close, darling?” He’s very soft and gentle, and it makes you whimper out a small noise of agreement. Tom chuckles, pulling at your hair as he brings your face back up, his hands bearing down on your hips to halt your movements. “Lie down for me, please.”

You scramble from his lap, your centre pulsing as it leaves his thigh. Your eyes catch on the way you’ve left a large, wet mark on his trousers, and you watch with wide eyes as Tom stands from the bed. He walks around to the foot of the mattress, his figure commanding your complete attention. 

“I’ve been thinking about what I’d like to do to you,” he says, speaking quietly. His nimble fingers work down the buttons of his shirt, popping them quickly. Once his shirt is discarded, Tom works on his slacks. As the metallic sounds of his belt clicking fill the air, he smirks at you. “Are you going to be good for me?”

“Yes,” you say immediately. You squeal as Tom grabs at your ankles and pulls you to the edge of the bed. He kneels on the floor, hauling you closer until your thighs are over his shoulders and his face is near your heat. Your dress scrunches up at your waist, and you whimper as his hands press your legs apart. “I’ll always be good for you.”

“Is that right?” Tom asks, index finger running lightly over the inside of one of your thighs. He looks up at you, eyes hooded and blown wide with lust.

“Yes.”

“Prove it to me,” he instructs. “If you think you’re about to cum, you need to tell me.” Tom’s gaze darkens. “If you disobey me, you won’t enjoy what happens.” With tender lips, he presses a kiss to your inner thigh, looking at you with a gentle smile. When he speaks again, his voice is lighter, “Is this okay, darling?”

You nod.

“Words.”

As two of Tom’s fingers spread your puffy outer lips, you stammer out a broken, “Yes, I understand.”

“Good girl.”

He dives in quickly, and the press of his warm tongue against your pulsing pussy makes you cry out. You’re already feeling hot and bothered from the time you spent rutting against the coarse material of his trousers, and the pressure soothes you. He’s too far away to touch, so you curl your hands into fists and pull at the silky bed linen, eyelids fluttering shut as his tongue caresses you, over and over.

Tom makes out sloppily with your cunt, two of his slender fingers pulling up to push into your heat. He fills you easily, taking the edge off your desire as his tongue flicks over your clit, unrelenting, hard. He’s eager for it, holding nothing back as he coaxes you quickly towards a high, moaning and grunting into your centre. The vibrations drive you mad, and your mind spins off as he holds you in place.

“S-Shit,” you stammer, back arching. As much as you don’t want to say it, Tom’s already pushing you towards climax. As he curls his slender digits up against you, his tips brush against your g-spot, and it has you seeing stars. “I’m gonna cum, Tom.”

All movements stop. Tom’s mouth pulls back from your cunt, and his fingers still inside you. Your walls clench around him, but he relaxes them, halting all stimulation of your sensitive pussy as you whimper.

“Good,” he coos. Your eyes seek him out, and you moan as you see his chin slick with your juices. “You taste divine, sweetheart.” His free hand strokes over your inner thigh, calming you with gentle circles and caresses. “We’ll do this a few more times, I think. I want you dripping onto the sheets. I want you to forget about everything apart from me, and how desperate you are for me.” His teeth nip at your thigh, and you squirm.

True to his word, Tom works you up, over and over again. Each time he brings you to the edge of a high, he pulls back at the last moment, leaving you teetering on the edge for a painful second before your climax goes ebbing away from your reach. The time it takes to build up to each edge narrows considerably with each completion, and you find yourself growing desperate for more. Your skin is hot and prickles, your forehead breaking into a sweat. The muscles in your legs ache from the exertion of almost spasming into climax, time and time again, and your throat hurts from your eager, desperate moans. He’s a demon, his deep brown eyes watching you closely, sharp ears picking up each noise and sound, and he seems intent on drawing this out for as long as possible.

“I think that’s enough,” Tom finally says. Your sigh of relief is so loud and pronounced that it makes him chuckle. “What, you didn’t like that?” His hand comes down over your inner thigh, slapping softly. As the pain ripples across your skin, you whimper. “Don’t lie to me, angel. I know you love it when I’ve got my head between your legs.” His large hands slip under your thighs, and he pushes you up the bed, slipping up over you. With his body suspended above you and a hand either side of your head, Tom raises his eyebrows. “Open,” he instructs.

What he does next makes your eyes roll back. You open your mouth immediately, and he chuckles darkly. One hand holds your jaw, and you watch as Tom purses his lips, eyes you intently, and then spits directly into your mouth. The taste of your cunt spreads out across your tongue, and your hole clenches around nothing as you moan loudly.

“Swallow,” he says. You close your mouth and do just that, and then you stick out your tongue for him to see. “Good,” he coos. Tom kisses you suddenly, the action hard as he sucks on your tongue. When he pulls back, he kisses your nose. “Pretty girl, aren’t you? My pretty girl.”

His lips skate all across your face, dusting you in warm kisses of reward. 

“I love you,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. The gratitude you feel towards him for knowing exactly what you need is boundless, consuming. 

“And I love you.” You share a tender moment of understanding as Tom brushes his hand over your face, and in the look you exchange, you know that he feels as you do: appreciation towards your partner, for reading you and obliging you. He hums softly, slipping away from you after a final kiss to pull off his boxers. “Take off your dress for me, love. Give me a show.”

You’re shaky on your feet, but you manage to stand in front of the bed. Tom sits up against the headboard, working his hand over his erect length as he watches you. You tease him, just like you know he enjoys, taking your time as you roll the sleeves down and unzip the back. The material goes tumbling to the floor, pooling at your feet, and then you’re entirely naked - wearing only his hickeys, and his spit between your legs. 

“Beautiful,” he says, eyes glinting. “You’re an angel, aren’t you?” When you shrug bashfully, he nods. “My angel. C’mere.” You move to him, but he stops you before you can reach for his cock. “I want you to lie down here and show me how you get off.”

“But I want--” 

He shuts you up with a hard stare. “Do you really want to finish that sentence?” When you’re quiet, he hums. You can’t stop staring at the way his hands slide over his length. Your mouth waters at the thought of letting your tongue wander over his leaking tip, collecting the beads of salty precum. “Do this for me, and then I’ll let you have what you want.”

You part your legs, your thighs aching. As you dip your hand between your legs, you whimper to feel your slick mixed with Tom’s spit. Your skin is soaked, and as you nimbly press two fingers into your hole, you find it looser, already stretched from Tom’s exploration earlier. You can feel his eyes on you, watching your hand move as you slowly fuck yourself with your fingers, getting pleasure from the knuckle of your thumb as it brushes up against your clit.

As you begin to whimper, Tom swoops in with his final lesson of the evening. He reaches down, wrapping his hand around yours, guiding your movements. He sets the pace and the angle, speeding up your thrusts. The sound of your wetness sloshing around makes you cry out loudly as he edges you perfectly, like he knows your body better than you. 

“You see this,” he mutters, voice husky. “I give you pleasure. It doesn’t matter if it’s my tongue in your cunt, or my fingers, or my cock. This cunt?” He curls your fingers, and they brush up against your g-spot, making you cry out. “This cunt is mine. You are mine.”

You almost lose it right there, the deep husky tones of his dominant voice sending you spinning, but then Tom pulls away. As your walls flutter weakly around nothing, he pats at your hip.

“Hands and knees, darling.”

Your arms shake as you roll over, adopting the position. Again, Tom stands at the foot of the bed, pulling you back until you’re spread open for him. You feel his cock, dragging through your slick folds, teasing your tender clit until your hips jerk forwards. Your bud aches almost painfully, your body pulled tight with an overwhelming need to climax.

“Please,” you beg desperately, dropping your head between your arms. “Please, please.”

Tom’s hand smooths over the curve of your ass, silver ring biting coolly against you, “Does my darling want to feel my cock?” 

“Yes, please.”

“Hmm.” Easily, he slips the tip of his cock past your entrance. “I suppose you deserve it,” he teases. “Been such a good little slut for me, haven’t you?”

When Tom finally fucks into you, the moan you release is almost pornographic. He’s been teasing you, over and over, drawing you close to orgasm only to jerk it away from you each time, but now that he’s got his length buried up to the hilt inside you, you know it’s been worth it. Nothing compares to the relief you feel as you realise you’ll be allowed to finish soon, your walls squeezing his cock. 

The pace is punishing, and everything blurs together. His hands on your hips, holding you in place, pulling you back rhythmically to meet with his thrusts. As his slick cock pounds into you over and over, his flushed tip nudges against your g-spot. The stimulation makes your eyes tear up, and a few hot tears skate across your cheeks as you whimper and cling to the sheets.

“Fuck, princess, you’re fucking perfect for me, aren’t you?” A hand falls over your bum, and you moan. “So tight and warm. Feels so snug around me, lovie. So perfect.” Tom’s voice comes out firm, but it wavers, and you can imagine the grimace of pleasure on his face. “Always take me so well.” His hand moves to the top of your back, and he pushes you into the bed. Your face buries into the sheets as the angle adjusts, and you gasp loudly as the adjustment means he can rail you harder. 

“S-Shit,” you moan. “Love your cock, Tommy. Pl-Please.”

“What do you need?”

You whimper, the power of his thrusts fucking you further into the mattress. “W’nna cum.”

“You can play with your clit then.”

Tears fly down your cheeks, and it feels overwhelming as you nudge a hand between your legs to fondle your bud. Tom’s hands hold your hips, keeping you nice and open for him, and you’re glad for the heavy pressure on your skin. It keeps you anchored down.

“Are you close?” He asks, grunting heavily as he feels your walls squeeze him.

“Yes.”

“I think you deserve to cum, don’t you?” He pauses briefly, cursing lowly, pace faltering. “Let go, darling. Let me feel you squeezing me. I want to feel what I do to you.”

The action of his deep, fast thrusts mixes with your fingers on your clit, and you cum with a  loud, quivering scream. Tom holds you down, fucking into you as you spasm and writhe in the sheets, and after a few, mind-numbing moments of pleasure, you feel him follow you with a grunt. His hot speed paints your walls, his noises of heady enjoyment mixing with yours, and it just prolongs your climax.

When you calm down, Tom carefully pulls out from you. You whimper at the loss, feeling a little out of it as he turns you over, pushes you up into the centre of the bed and pulls you on top of him. Your head settles in the crook of his neck, his hands palming over your back as he kisses the top of your head, over and over again.

“So good for me,” he mumbles. Your legs tangle together. You can feel his cum spilling from your hole, dripping down onto him, but he doesn’t seem to care. “My best girl. I love you so much.” 

You hum quietly, rubbing your hand over the top of his arm as you whimper. “Love you too,” you manage, voice hoarse. 

Tom’s hands cup your face, and he gently coaxes you up until he can meet with your eyes. His fingers brush away the teary residue from your cheeks, and he kisses you softly.

“Mine,” he mumbles against you, smiling into your lips as you hum in agreement. One of your hands folds into his curls, and you feel your heart stirring contentedly in your chest.

“Yours.”

---------

lol. hope you enjoyyyyed :) 

I’m intending to do some mob!Tom blurbs next week for mob!Monday, so if you have any concepts you’d like to see, please send them to my ask box!

ask box is open for your thoughts!! I’m dying to know what you think of this... 👀

masterlist linked in bio!

#tom holland punch my lights out challenge ❤️ #tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #mob!tom #mob!tom holland #mob!tomfic #mm #smut #y/n #y/n use #self insert #self-insert #yeeeeeep #queue

[jesswritesthat]

Ushijima Wakatoshi: Always

Fandom: Haikyuu!! — [ Masterlist ]

Summary: ~2.5k. Lil fluff, lil drama

• You were always by Ushijima and vice versa, but it sends shockwaves into your friendship when suddenly you aren’t anymore.

Warnings: ...2500+ words... im sorry I got carried away

>>>>——————————>

"That was incredible Ushijima!"

"What do you expect from one of the top Aces in Japan?!"

"Senpai could you -"

"(Y/n)." It effortlessly cut every compliment down, deadpan gaze sending chills down the spines of his admiring peers to be met with your analytical ones. The expectation was one you were used to, even if he hadn't explicitly mentioned anything - your name was all you needed, in that straightforward tone that silently asked for your input.

You skipped past pointless compliments just as you always had with him, he knew he was talented so he always pried you for more than that.

"You could've hit it from a higher contact point, it'd make it harder for Kawanishi and Tendō to block it." You gave a haphazard tilt of your head, contrasting the depth of your observation whilst Satori shot you an incredulous look and Ushijima simply nodded in understanding before performing a spike mirroring your altercations.

The Ace once more locked irises with you, seeking approval as to whether it was an improvement to the previous hit and you nodded in reply - these commonplace 'psychic' conversations earning an amused chuckle from the red head.

"You really trust (Y/n)-chan, huh Wakatoshi?"

"Always."

Always.

That's the best possible description you had for your friendship with 'Ushiwaka' and the current Team of Shiratorizawa fell short on applicable definitions also - ones that weren’t teasing that is.

Ushijima had been by your side for as long as you could remember, and vice versa, you'd survived Elementary School, Middle School, many spikes to your body and were now in your final year of High School together.

That's how the team became well acquainted with you over the past 2 years, being their Manager certainly aided that but the ease of conversation and contact Wakatoshi exhibited toward you piqued their interest firsthand - no we aren't dating, yes we're both single, it's none of your business who has a crush on who, we're here to play Volleyball not question our love lives!

However, any ongoing hopeful suspicion was brutally eradicated when a former project partner of yours unintentionally disrupted practice by slinging a friendly arm around your shoulder -

"Shit Kaito, dodge!" Came your panicked vocals, tugging the boy further into your proximity to narrowly avoid a hurtling spike from Ushijima.

The chaos fell into a tense silence, the Team completely aware that their Aces aim was drastically awry - though they breathed nothing of it once witnessing how his brows furrowed incomprehensibly, gazing to you with almost a flash of hurt.

"Why is he here?" There was a subtle indication to the student currently sharing a loose embrace with you, having not released each other yet.

"I don't know, I hadn't the chance to ask since you nearly killed him with that spike of yours Toshi!" You hollered back, an air of playfulness to your voice but the discomfort in it remained clear. To Ushijima anyway.

"I was momentarily distracted which I will improve on, so Kaito why are you here?"

Your friend jumped slightly when Ushijima addressed him, not accustomed to his blunt straightforwardness but managed an upbeat reply regardless of his initial stammering.

"Uh - um, I came to see (Y/n)-chan~"

"(Y/n)-chan? That's quite informal."

"Ah sorry Ushijima-san, I meant (L/n) - um please could I talk to you outside?" Kaito sheepishly inquired presumably feeling uncomfortable with the weight of Wakatoshis analytical gaze, but keeping an elegantly regal hold on your hand like you were that of royalty Kaito parted from you, hoping you'd accompany him.

Chuckling at his dramatic antics, you flicked your attention back to an eerily observant Volleyball club and issued your decision.

"I'll be back in second guys."

"Are you just going to let that guy take your partner away Ushijima?" Tendō playfully mocked, clapping his friends shoulder with a sly smile - though as always, the Ace remained oblivious to his subtle insinuations leaving him to sigh.

"(Y/n) isn't my partner, and even if that were true, I hold no authority over their decisions."

It was a few minutes before you reappeared in the sports hall again and automatically, your presence was registered by the Captain in a tone you knew all to well - but with an undefined sway to his voice.

"(Y/n)."

"Oh yeah, that spike was powerful and your aim is back on track, you could alter your hang time a little to offset the blockers if you wanted." Was your analysis of the hit he’d made as you re-entered, a vague gesture of your hand emphasising your point but Wakatoshi only furrowed his brows and shook his head.

"Not that, did Kaito want something?"

Tendō frantically clung to Semi in the background, dramatically 'dying' over the fact that his best friend has asked something non-Volleyball related, much to the sheer aggravation of the aforementioned Setter. The sight was enough to force you to subdue a smile, biting your lip and focusing on the approaching Captain.

"Nothing really, he wants to hang out this weekend."

"Like a date (Y/n)-Senpai?" Goshiki urgently cut in, both you and Ushijima snapping to him with varying degrees of intimidation.

"Get back to practice if you want to be the next Ace, Tsutomu~" Came your sing song tone, the first years' posture stiffening and immediately rushing off with a salute as you followed him back to the courts.

A skilful dodge in retrospect...

Ushijima leaned against the wall once the training session came to an end, his commanding eyes never leaving your figure for a second as you grabbed your belongings and turned to meet him with a raised brow.

It was common knowledge that you would both 99% of the time wait to walk home together and so the Team offered their farewells as they passed, Wakatoshi waiting until you were alone to break the ominous silence.

"You didn't answer earlier."

It wasn't that you were trying to avoid it, you didn't even know why you were so hesitant to discuss dating with Wakatoshi - he certainly wouldn't judge you, he had always been a good listener but maybe, you just stupidly didn't want him to think you were unavailable. You scoffed at that immature thought, like 'Mr Super Ace' would care anyway.

"It's for a date, yes."

"..."

There was a moment or two, yourself walking past him into the soft breeze - "Do you like him?" - that ceased your footsteps, resisting the urge to turn around wearing a surprised expression, instead taking a second of silence to compose yourself and looking back with a proud smile.

"If I didn't like him, I wouldn't be doing this."

"Hm." It was a hum of acknowledgment, contemplating the weight of your statement prior to reaching your side and beginning your walk home.

Those few seconds of silence were truly silent, especially when Ushijima had never viewed the silences between you as such - normally a form of comfortable communication.

———

Any impact of your sporadic absences at extra practice remained undetectable in Ushijima for the most part, he acted as indifferent as always and his stoic expression was nothing out of the ordinary either. The only indicatior was one unfathomable slip up - one that effectively drew Wakatoshi to unexpected realisations also.

It was a Friday evening, you’d left early to see Kaito but subconsciously the Ace instantly sought your evaluation after a spike. “(Y/n).”

The team slowed to a perplexed standing, informing him of your renowned disappearance - Tendō more bemused than most as he’d calmly apologised for his mistake.

You were always by his side, both figuratively and usually literally so it was inconceivable that one day you wouldn't be. The saying 'you don't miss something until it's gone' never really adhered to the Ace, believing that he'd never give up Volleyball so it didn't concern him. However, is it possible that he'd overlooked other aspects of life, like you for instance? Yes, Volleyball was undoubtedly his passion but you were a massive entanglement in it too, having lost count of the hours you'd shared on the court and times he'd accidentally K.O'd you with a spike. With that logic, if he was so determined to cultivate his volleyball career then he'd decided you deserved the same devotion, of which you'd always given him.

"Wakatoshi, everything alright?" Reon suspiciously quizzed, noting that his instinctive miscalculation didn't require such intense mulling over and hoped the friendly slap to his shoulder would snap him out of it.

"No, I need to find (Y/n) after practice."

"Aw, are you missing our little manager-chan~" Tendō cut in, a sing song voice in tow accompanied by a signature dance.

"Yes, I always do when (Y/n) isn't here. Don't you?" The sheer deadpan of it ceased the redheads effort, a dejected brow raised in ‘thought’ as he shrugged.

"Eh, probably not the same way you're talking about buddy but that's for you to figure out I guess..."

———

[ Ushiwaka: Are we still walking to practice together on Saturday? ]

Not once had he ever felt the need to ask before, but with the unpredictable variable of Kaito sweeping you away, it was better to do so.

[ (N/n): I'll likely be at the Shopping District so I don’t want you to go out of your way. But we'll be done by practice time as Kaito needs to be somewhere✌️]

[ Ushiwaka: I'll meet you there, it'll be a worthwhile jog. ]

[ (N/n): You don't have to, it's a bit of detour Toshi but thank you. 😊 ]

[ Ushiwaka: If I didn't want to, I wouldn't do it. See you (Y/n). ]

It closely mirrored your previous justification regarding Kaito, best not to dwell on it and get caught up in hopeless fantasies though.

Come Saturday, you had eagerly completed your business with Kaito and were in the midst of an encouraging pep talk by the time Ushijima clocked your position - giving your classmate a hug and pushing him in the opposite direction with a mischievous smile.

Your date had apparently gone well.

Once joining Wakatoshi, you offered a bottle of water and a knowing grin.

"Here, wouldn't be a great Manager if I wasn't prepared." Though not out of breath, having grown accustomed to much longer runs, the Ace accepted the token regardless and nodded in gratitude.

Then you began your walk to Shiratorizawa, passing through the district as you sustained a majority of conversation before you abruptly came to a stammering halt - suddenly ushering a puzzled Ushijima to a standstill as you covertly scouted the area like you were on some kind of mission, a hand reaching back to remain on his torso to keep him there whilst you evaluated.

The Spiker only managed a gruff sound, a strong grip on your shoulder pulling you back into him slightly so he could peer past your figure and soon determined the object of fascination - Kaito-san, and a girl he'd seen around school.

It didn't make much sense to him, nor did your anticipating aura by the fact he was with another partner - were you excited?

Then he kissed her.

Instantly, a flash of fury crossed Wakatoshis' blazing irises, the one only seen during the heat of intense Volleyball Matches so when he brushed past you with a sense of dangerous determination you were quick to recognise such a trait.

"Woah Ushijima! What are you doing?" It was spontaneous, surging forward to latch onto his arm and weigh down his stride as you whisper yelled your question. Not that the loved up pair could possibly hear you.

"I'm not going to allow him to cheat on you, especially when you mean so much to me. I believe you deserve better and I'm certain I could do so." Ushijima justified, more than confused with how effortlessly your were taking such a scandal.

"Kaito? He's not cheating on me! I was helping him prepare for his dates, not going out with him." Was your hushed whisper, an underlying lilt of amusement there - until you were interrupted.

“I had the best assistance...”

Ushijima stood stoically and managed to emit an aura of protection, if you weren't so famous around school then meeting the two of you together would be the equivalent of the daunting power couple from a stereotypical Teen Romcom, exuding strength and skill that you were more than capable of backing up. Except, you weren't that bitchy.

"Ah no wonder Kaito-san, you got Shiratorizawas’ Power Couple to help you." Kaitos’ date happily observed, intertwining their fingers with a doe-eyed look.

"I didn't realise you were packing power (Y/n)." Wakatoshi turned to you with his deadpan expression, gaze gracing up and down your figure as he said so.

"I'm powerful enough to keep our Team in check, give me some credit Ushiwaka~" You crossed your arms with an offended pout - the couple finding unintentional humour in Wakatoshis comment - the Ace nodding in confirmation.

"That's a valid point."

The pair cheerfully parted from you with friendly waves, a muttering of 'couple goals' overheard from the girl which made Ushijima and yourself snap to them with mild incomprehensible looks.

It wasn’t until you were far from the Shopping District that Ushijima spoke up again.

"I should've expressed that we aren't a couple yet."

"Yeah that - Yet? What the heck do you mean by that?!" You knew Ushijima wasn't one to mince words, they were always genuine which is why this had you internally frantic with your tone cracking due to the shock.

Not that Wakatoshi took your whiplashing emotions into consideration prior to voicing his next statement.

"Exactly as it sounds, I hadn't asked you to be my partner but I'm confident in our compatibility, I'd make you happy and trust you just as we do now."

"That's not the kind of logic - or way - to ask someone out. Do you even see me romantically?" You placed dire emphasis on the important information, the part you clearly needed to translate to him with a worrisome expression.

"It's difficult to explain... But my way of putting it is that I couldn't imagine my life without you, I want you by my side for as long you'll allow because there's no one else I have nor want this connection with."

"Yes but... things can change. You’d likely date for marriage, someone to build a future with so I don’t see why you’re saying this... to me...” It was true, you couldn’t understand it as you supposed you’d always be friends and nothing more, you had to be certain.

Ushijima listened, not missing a beat as he elaborated on his thoughts more than he usually would. This was meaningful, he knew, and wanted you to feel the emotion through his words since it wasn’t his best trait.

"When I think of my future and Professional Volleyball career, you are always in it - you're naturally apart of my ideal future. Don’t people love and marry their best friends?” He stepped into your path this time, successfully halting the two of you and offered his full attention with a cute tilt of his head once voicing his final question.

"Tendō would be heartbroken.”

Unexpected yes, but it somehow brought a small smile to his lips and a genuine deep chuckle escaped him - once more Ushijima met your gaze with a striking one of his own.

“It’s a different kind of love, he’ll understand.” Again he hadn’t meant it to be funny but you couldn’t help but laugh, it also eased your accumulated nerves to a degree.

"Hey, maybe we could skip practice and go on our first date?" You wittily proposed, mischief lacing your tone as you walked through the gates of Shiratorizawa.

"No." His answer was instantaneous, not a millisecond of hesitation which sent you into flurries of giggles which only perplexed your Ace.

"Why are you laughing, I thought you'd be upset?"

"Oh c'mon, I've known you for years - you really think I'd be so naive Toshi?" You placed a gentle hand on his upper arm as testament to your bright mood, you knew a Top 3 Ace wouldn’t brush off practice - Ushijima would make it even if he was halfway across Japan.

"Yet still, you were tactless enough to ask." With his semi-playful remark, Wakatoshi manoeuvred his arm to wrap around your shoulders and pull you closer whilst your voice took to a quieter octave.

"That’s why you like me right?"

"No, there are many reasons as to why I like you (Y/n), I manage to find more everyday but we can check out this new restaurant I found in the advertisements after practice if you want?"

Typical, he’d read the ads rather than the actual newspaper which only caused you to smile more as you entered the gymnasium and slipped from his embrace but keeping ahold of his hands before parting completely.

"Sounds great -"

"Yo lovebirds, anything new happen?" The exuberant voice of Satori echoed in the hall, Ushijima stating things as simple as they were which effectively knocked the entire team into breatheless shock with the unadulterated casualness of:

"Yes. (Y/n) and I are 'official'."

Merely a few seconds managed to pass whilst the team digested the information prior to Tendō sparking to life and almost jumping onto Semi Eita.

"Guessed it! Semi-semi you owe me ¥1000!"

"Wait, I thought you'd been together for the past year?!" Shirabu proclaimed, running a hand through his hair and looking to fellow Second Years who shared in his horror - Satori only laughed, lolling his head to smugly smirk at you and Wakatoshi.

"You what?! Hah, they've just been pining. Our poor underclassmen, so naive~"

"Tendō you knew?!" Was your embarrassingly defensive question, hiding your face from his oncoming taunting.

"Aw manager-chan, they don't call me Guess Monster for nothin'~"

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

#ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi imagines #haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #anime x reader #anime imagine #shiratorizawa #ushijima imagine #ushijima oneshot #ushiwaka #ushijima x reader

[elysianslove]

Hi! <3 I'm the roomate hc anon again (lol) and can I request best friends to lovers hc for iwaizumi, kuroo and oikawa? Also this blog is gonna blow up soon so remember me when you're famous bro 😌✊️❤️

OMG HI AGAIN! i’m so sorry this is late :( but oh my the excitement that flooded through me when i saw this request hsvhjsd. i really hope you enjoy this!! also vshdks i luv u bb THANK YOU.

iwaizumi hajime

im making these as detailed as fuck so i apologize in advance <3

becoming best friends with hajime was a very out of the blue thing 

the two of you shared a lot of classes together, and since you were always seeing each other, you’d choose each other as partners a lot 

you’d sit next to him in all the classes that you could

you’d meet up a lot during school breaks and just hang out 

you two clicked very well honestly, like you found that it was so easy to talk to him, and it was so easy to lose yourself in the conversation 

most of your convos are v mature and sophisticated too like

it’s nice when you can talk to someone on the same brain wavelength as you yk 😼

anyways overtime you’d come to his practice sessions, and even if they were long you’d just stay and watch bc why not

if you had hw to do and he noticed you were a lil stressed about it, he’d tell u to come study while he practiced as a change of scenery and all 

he’d walk you home almost every night at this point

oikawa noticing and being jealous <3 

“they’re stealing you from me!” “they’re not— what is wrong with you oikawa.” 

okay so this best friend stuff has been going on for a long time

long enough for you to realize you wanted more from him

but this is iwaizumi hajime and it’s almost impossible to know what he’s thinking 

like

ever 

so you just keep it to yourself, thinking it’s just a small crush and it’s not worth ruining what the two of you have at this rate 

so all this had happened first year, and when you’re nearing the end of your second year

that’s when you realize that

shit

it’s not just a crush

and when you have feelings for someone, every little thing they do expands a million times in your head

so a hug from him that you’d once never go over twice has you thinking about it as you go to sleep

the hoodies he’d lend you during practice while you stayed in the gym bc it was ungodly cold in there now send tingles down your spine at the lingering scent of him

the way he’d grab your hand to drag you somewhere now leave a heavy effect on your palm, forcing you to trace it once he’s gone 

his texts give you butterflies 

every time his name pops up on your phone screen you have a mini heart attack

and yeah

those are all symptoms of a crush

but is a crush meant to last this long? 

at the start of your third year, you greet him outside of the school gates after not seeing you all summer

he smiles so bright and hugs you so, so tightly 

you already are so hyperaware of how strong iwa is

but the feelings you have for him that won’t go away are so not helping your fixation on the feel of his biceps 

anyways before this becomes v nsfw 

you two catch up like u had met yesterday 

and then at the end of the day, after practice, which you stay for bc u missed ur vbc boys 🥺

he walks you home 

like always

and as he stands by your front door, in a burst of courage, he takes your hand in his and pulls you harshly towards him, pushing his body against yours and capturing your lips in a heated kiss

it’s so messy and harsh and you pretty much collided 

but holy shit

you were pretty sure fireworks erupted when you two kissed

years of pining and what had felt like unrequited love finally being resolved 

it’s the most satisfying feeling ever

you never want to stop kissing him

but alas </3 

when he pulls back, you’re both breathing so heavily 

you’re not sure if it’s the adrenaline or the kiss itself 

and he just looks at you and goes “did u tan while you’re away ur eyes look brighter” 

no sir i am in love with you

when you two officiate things 

he’s actually way shyer than he was as best friends??? 

like as best friends he wouldn’t feel slightly weird about hugging you in public or grabbing at your hand randomly or being seen alone with you

but now like

people know ??? and somehow that scares iwa 

or makes him uncomfortable 

idk he just feels iffy

but ur so understanding bless ur heart <3 

ur so careful with him and take it at his own pace 

zero pda at the start of the relationship 

like he won’t even wanna hug u in front of the seijoh team 

but slowly he warms up 

and he starts getting more comfortable with things like hand holding and occasional pecks on the cheek/lips 

your traditions as best friends don’t die as lovers 

if anything you believe in them even more 

now you watch more diligently during practice 

you proudly attend his games in his jersey, cheering the loudest for him (and for the rest of the boys bc they: best) 

walks home with you are so much more serene 

always gives you a kiss before he parts ways 

idk it’s like some sort of commemoration for your first kiss/confession 

unless you invite him inside 😏

this is so fucking long im so sorry i just love iwa 

anyways anybody want boyfriend!iwa headcanons i got a lot hehe 

to conclude, it was so gradual and inevitable with the two of you, and you’re forever glad it happened when it did and you hadn’t rushed anything <3333

oikawa tōru

unlike hajime, this wasn’t something that took one or two years

this bitch couldn’t admit he was in love with you for like 10 years okay 

you’ve known him for the majority of your life, because you’d always lived in close proximity to each other 

but you were never best friends yk? just acquaintances 

it was around the end of middle school when you two got close

cause you saw he was applying to aoba johsai for high school

and you were like !!! i’m going there too 

at first he was like stop copying me 😾 

you guys had a staring contest bc y’all are idiots and there were legit tears streaming down ur face but u were not about to lose to a pissbaby like him

he blinked 😁👍🏼

and he lost 

and then he decided “you’re my best friend now ” 

anyways aside iwa, he now had someone else he was going into high school with

like it’s a completely new environment but he had two people he very much liked going with him !!! 

when the time came around to like apply for/join clubs, you had been so clueless 

but toru stuck by you !! and he was so adamant on helping you !! 

he would sit with you after school as he practiced tossing with hajime and just brainstorm with you what you liked to do

it’s what brought you two closer together

cause you realized just how many things in common you had with him 

for a full week he tried to help you come up with something

for the sake of this hc let’s say u decide to join the newsletter club 

you’re very wary at first but then he’s like when ur part of it you’ll visit the vbc regularly so u can take pictures/observe to write essays 

the fact that toru would be there kinda set you at ease 

now you’ve never seen toru play properly 

he’s practiced in front of you before

plenty of times

but a proper match? or a practice one? 

never 

so it’s safe to say u were in awe when you got assigned to go watch a practice match against (idk pick a school) 

it’s embarrassing to admit but your eyes were on him the entire time 

thank god he became the captain later on else it’d be so sus 

you really tried to pay attention to anybody else lmfao 

it’s kinda what drew you to him more

you still didn’t really have feelings

you only realized just how passionate he is about everything 

at some point you had an essay to write for your newsletter about the volleyball club

but you were having a hard time like really getting into it

so you immediately just called toru and were like “help 😃” 

he came over and you asked him a bunch of questions, and he would go on deadass 20 min rants for each of them

you were just 

so amazed 

like how could someone have so much passion for something like this?

you realize how but that’s for later

overtime you two got closer bc of how much your work was associated with him

he’s incredible as a best friend 

he’s the first one with the school’s weekly newsletter as soon as it’s out

granted it’s to read the section about him but yk, the sentiment’s there 

also love, love, loves lazy days with you 

he doesnt even care if the boys know that he worships the chick flicks you two watch 

i feel like oikawa would be an avid anime watcher

idk why i just do 

so he’d be blasting anime theme songs on a speaker as you’re in the shower and he’s in your room waiting for you and you’re both just singing w the sound of water rushing down 

actually it’s not just anime songs it’s all songs 

a l l songs 

anyways

so you two get really close, and then he has a super important match coming up 

let’s say it’s the spring interhigh one against karasuno

the one they won

idk im just choosing at random 

and the night before he’s like begging you on text to wear his jersey

he’s like PLEASE NO ONE’S EVER DONE THAT FOR ME

you’re like bruh u have a cult following ????? 

but eventually u say yes

ur not really sure where it’s coming from but this is oikawa he’s an unpredictable as can be

when you show up in a jersey he so conveniently left at your house once

he’s so genuinely shocked even though he was the one that asked for this???

gives you the biggest hug like spins you around and just 

“you’re my lucky charm” 

when he wins 

after celebrating with his team

he runs over to you

and just

he kisses you

full on the mouth

it’s probably the rush and excitement of winning that gave him the courage to finally spill all his feelings out into this kiss

you’re in his jersey, in the stands and you genuinely feel like it’s only just the two of you

despite how sudden it was the kiss is so gentle, like he’d been planning it since forever 

“i told you you’re my lucky charm” he says as he rests his forehead against yours and kisses you gently again

oikawa had already been affectionate as your best friend

always displaying his love outwardly with like always calling out your name so loud whenever he sees you and giving you bone crushing hugs

deadass his 6’0 self will just jump on you 

but now it’s extra

makki always gags around the two of you but you just stick ur tongue out at him and go “ur just mad ur best friend’s getting some pussy/dick and ur not” 

makki then proceeds to shriek at you like a fucking banshee <3 

anyways 

yes 

oikawa best friends to lovers excellence is so cute eeeekkk

and now u always wear his jersey at games 

(u couldnt make it to the game against karasuno where they lost for whatever reason and he held it against u for the longest time)

(“maybe if a certain someone were there we wouldn’t have lost”)

what a big baby you love him

kuroo tetsurō

AH SEXY CHEMISTRY NERD 👅👅👅

kuroo as ur best friend 

im frothing 

i feel like you’d grow close after meeting at an event or something 

like you’re a friend of a friend of a friend 

i see kuroo as someone who’s so suave and cool and flirty with people he doesn’t have feelings for

but put the crush factor in and he’s a mess

like his brain just stops working

so when he first met you

he thought u were so fucking hot 

but that’s it

his lower body was doing all the thinking <3 

so he was so flirty 

and that’s essentially what your friendship is built off of 

and when friends are so flirty with each other, they generally grow close and trust each other really quickly 

ur not a nekoma student but ur in tokyo so you meet up often 

you just

it’s so nice to be around him

you find it so easy to just be yourself around him 

going out with him is super fun 

and a lot of the times you guys have study dates and you literally don’t talk except during the 10 min breaks you two take

it’s just hyper focus for the two of you which is great

he really channels the best student in you what a man ! 

i think during your third year of high school you two got insanely close

because you were highly unsure if you were gonna leave japan or stay 

so you wanted to make the most out of everything 

so you’d go out with him more often

he’d stay during the weekends and you two would like bake christmas goods all night even if it’s literally september lmfao

cuddling is so natural 

like you’re both so touchy with each other but not in a weird way just a super comfortable kind of way

like if you’re shorter than him, he’s always leaning his arm on you like you’re his arm rest 

it’s a win win bc he gets to touch you and tease you

wow the horny really jumped out in that one

anyways

you go to every single one of his games !!

cheer him on so!! fucking!! loud!!

you probably make a provocative sign and stand a chair and just wave it around and kuroo’s so heart eyes lmfao

the climb up to becoming lovers is so

natural? 

i think kuroo first realizes that maybe, yk, he wants those flirtatious comments to mean something and those random touches to hold more romantic value to them, when you two are out together

it’s a completely chill day and it’s not really warm not really chilly. you’re just comfortable 

he takes you to a park after buying the both of you ice cream from the stand across the street and sits down at a bench with you

just people watching 

and then it kinda goes really silent

but 

it’s not awkward??? like at all???

he’s not looking to fill the silence with any random words

he’s just

enjoying simply being with you

and he glances at you momentarily and it hits him like so hard just how pretty you are 

his eyes slightly widen like

holy fuck

what the f u ck

remember when i said he’s all cool until feelings come into play

yeah 😼

he literally freezes up and blurts out, without even meaning to, “i think i have feelings for you.” 

he really didnt even process he said that

you kinda

pause for a second

and then you realize what you said and you just smile and lean over towards him, lifting your thumb up to the corner of his lips and brushing away some ice cream

“you think?” you tease, and then at the spot where the ice cream was misplaced, you placed a gentle kiss

he kinda relaxes and then eyes you as he says, “i know.” 

it is just. heaven after that

i think the two of you would be less flirty around each other once becoming official 

like yeah he definitely comments once or twice every now and then and don’t get me wrong, so do you

but it’s just less frequent 

like a blanket has been lifted to uncover the true, hidden meanings behind the comments and you can now just breathe easier 

you two end up in the same uni on accident hevejsk

like you had a long ass talk about how it’s okay if you didn’t end up in the same uni you’d still make it work

and it would’ve worked tbh

fate just ships you two too much

when you told each other you were literally that spiderman meme of the two spidermen pointing at each other lmao

power couple of the uni

power couple of tokyo

power couple of japan

you’re literally so happy with him you wouldn’t trade him for the world 

and maybe you saw it coming 

but it still remains a shock whenever you wake up and he’s there laying next to you, smiling lazily at you before reaching over to give you a gentle kiss 

anyways happy early birthday king i love you kuroo hehe

end note; i really had a lotta fun w this one omg!! thank you again for requesting, anon, and i hope everybody else enjoyed!! feel free to request, mwah <3

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru headcanons #oikawa headcanons #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi headcanons #iwaizumi hajime x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo headcanons #oikawa x you #iwaizumi x you #kuroo x you

[everythingharrypotterblog]

charmed [7]: ‘night changes’ (remus lupin x reader)

a/n: i got rejected from my top choice university program today so if im gonna be unhappy, might as well make u guys happy and release parts 5 and 7

brief summary: y/n and remus are both teachers at hogwarts and this is his first transformation where he is under wolfsbane. y/n remains in human form as he transforms. werewolf or not, all y/n ever feels is him.

series summary: set in the prisoner of azkaban, including its major plot points. remus and y/n get hired by dumbledore last minute to teach at hogwarts, defense against the dark arts and charms respectively. not wanting the students to know they are married, they navigate the challenging year through hidden glances, hand holds underneath the table and loving moments in their offices. even with all their efforts to conceal their relationship, their chemistry does not go unnoticed by the student population of hogwarts, who grow fond of the pair as they offer them some of the best classes they’ve had in a while. their relationship as newlyweds is strengthened as teaching the next generation of wizards unlocks a sea of memories of their love story. for the second time in his life, remus holds hogwarts responsible for some of his happiest memories. he’s given the chance to create them with the love of his life, y/n, who has taught and continues to teach him that every part of him is lovable, remaining forever under her charm.

series masterlist here

join taglist here

7.

previously, in part 1:

“No, you don’t understand, it’s incredibly, extremely dangerous for a human to be around a were-“ Remus had tried to say, before Y/N had stood up and with a crack, disappeared. A single white dove hovered where she had stood, its wings flapping slowly to stay afloat.

“Y/N?”

With a crack, Y/N had appeared again.

“I didn’t know you were an Animagus.”

Y/N grinned. 

“What, you thought James, Sirius and Peter were the only ones to ever succeed at it?”

Remus still grimaced, shaking his head and looking down.

“It’s still too dangerous, I won’t risk it. I couldn’t possibly think of hurting you, I’m too dangerous-“

“Remus, stop it. You didn’t hurt Peter as a rat back in the day, you wouldn’t hurt a flinging bird either. Plus, I got a serious height advantage on you anyway.” Y/N raised her eyebrows at him teasingly, transforming back again into the dove and flying up to the ceiling. Lupin wasn’t convinced.

“Y/N, you shouldn’t-“

The dove reappeared as Y/N and kneeled between Lupin’s legs, taking his face into her hands carefully. 

“Please? Let me be there for you. Let me try-“

“I-“ Remus winced in his crippling self-doubt.

“I promise, if I ever feel unsafe, I’ll fly away. I promise.”

Remus nodded. “I love you.”

Y/N was taken aback, but surged forward to press her lips against his.

“I love you too.”

It was the first time they had said that to each other.

+

The first full moon of the Hogwarts term was now but a day away. As it drew nearer, Remus got paler and grew more irritable, as it always was. 

The students never noticed, as he remained their kind Professor Lupin to them. Remus valued the staff and Dumbledore in extremely high regard, so he mainly kept to himself to avoid conflict.

However, his short temper was not 100% appeasable. 

He was presently in his office, leg anxiously bouncing. He couldn’t help but jitter as restless energy coursed through him. The door opened, and he  jerked his head in its direction, to see Y/N walk in, slightly anxious as well.

“Hi, love.” She said, making her way to him.

“He’s late.” Remus muttered.

“It’s Albus Dumbledore, what do you expect- maybe he had a Wizarding War in Luxembourg to stop before this or something.” Y/N joked, dragging a chair beside her and taking Remus’ hand.

His leg stopped bouncing. 

+

1980.

Remus sat in an armchair in the House of Black’s library, attempting to distract himself before the night would come, a transformation night.

Loud voices reverberated across the walls, and he usually wouldn’t have minded, but the full moon made him more irritable.

“Will you guys stop yelling!” He called out across the hallway to the room where James, Sirius and a couple other Order members were talking over each other.

Sirius shared a look with James and they shrugged, making a motion with their hand asking the others to lower their voices.

“Hi, guys!” In came Y/N’s voice, as she walked through the door after a day of work, setting down her jacket. She joined the table for a few snacks, before inquiring, “Where’s Remus?”

“Ah, in the library.” James said mindlessly, shuffling the pack of cards they were playing with. He spotted Y/N head for that direction, and attempted to add, “But I wouldn’t disturb him if I were-“

But Y/N already walked in the library, wanting to see her boyfriend. She found him buried in a book, sitting slightly uncomfortably in his clothes, as if his body was having pre-transformation aches.

“Hi, love.” She said gently.

Remus peered up from his book and instantly smiled, uncrossing his legs and patting at his lap. Y/N took a seat on him, and he wrapped his arms around her comfortably.

“How was work?” He grumbled, mouth kissing up her arm and shoulder.

“Oh, just the usual.”

He listened to her talk about her day, hugging her as she sat in his lap.

James heard faint sounds of their light voices from the other room, and laughed. Sirius shook his head, both of them amused by their friend’s drastic change in demeanor.

“Little fucker.”

+

Dumbledore appeared in Remus’ office not long after Y/N joined, with a goblet of familiar-looking blue smoke.

“Remus, Y/N. I took the liberty of bringing you your last dose myself, Severus has already done so much. So, you wanted to talk about the logistics of your upcoming transformation.”

Remus nodded, leaning forward and taking the potion.

“This is your first time with Wolfsbane, so we cannot be sure on how it will affect you. However, I trust that it has been brewed properly, so it should do its function, which is to maintain your mental state when you transform.”

“So technically, he could just stay and hide here in his office and wait for the night to be over?” Y/N asked Dumbledore, thumb rubbing over Remus’ hand.

“Yes. If the potion has been brewed correctly, which I am sure it has, Remus should transform into nothing but a harmless wolf. Of course, because this is your first time, if you still wish to go outside and-“

“Yes.” Remus interjected, once he finished the last of the potion. “I wish to still use the Whomping Willow, just to avoid all potential risk.”

“Very well.” Dumbledore smiled, bowing his head. “I have complete trust in you, so you do as you please.”

“And I should… I won’t forget who I am, I won’t lose my mind?” Remus asked.

“No.” Dumbledore confirmed. “Your mental state will stay intact.”

“Then, I can technically be in human form with him.” Y/N gasped as the idea jumped into her head. She was immediately met with startled looks from both Dumbledore and Remus, Dumbledore merely intrigued and Remus looking downright terrified. “I mean, I could be with him. Me, a human.” She added hastily.

Glancing at Remus’ fervently opposed look, Dumbledore merely stood up.

“I will leave that between you two to discuss. Goodnight, and good luck.” He said. “Oh! And one more thing.”

His eyes twinkled. “I hear talk amongst the students since the start of term. About you two.”

Remus and Y/N looked at each other nervously.

“Something about spotting their Charms and Defence teachers always being present in each other’s offices…”

Y/N mouth dropped in shock, trying to figure out how students could even know where they spent their nights, before Dumbledore laughed heartily, shaking his head.

“I kid, I kid, I have heard nothing of the sort. All that has reached my ears are the raving comments about your classes and subjects. Keep up the good work, Professors.” Dumbledore chuckled, and vanished into the fireplace.

Y/N stared dumbfounded at the spot he disappeared, before letting out a laugh.

“I-“ She blinked. “He is so weird, and can you believe, I almost let slip that I’m an Animagus-“

She stopped once she looked at her husband, whose expression was grave.

“Wha-“

“You cannot stay in human form with me.” He shook his head.

Y/N stayed silent for a second. “Why not? If this potion works, and we know it will, your-“

“We can’t be too sure!” Remus sighed. “Werewolves, we hunt for humans. We look for victims to bite, to… to-“

“If the potion doesn’t work, then I’ll just transform into a dove, like always.”

Remus met her eyes in a worried gaze.

“I’ve been a bird countless of times on your transformations, you’re still gonna let me do that, are you?” Y/N raised her eyebrows. “You even said, werewolves look for humans, animal companions are harmless-“

“Which is exactly why you can’t be in human form, darling! The extreme danger that would put you in, you have no idea.”

“I have no idea?” Y/N pursed her lips, instinctively reaching out to her bicep, on which lay a tiny white scar.

Remus glanced at it too, with almost hatred and remorse in his eyes, as he sighed, hand tracing over it and kissing it.

+

“Maybe you should transform right now, my love.” Remus said anxiously as he, Y/N, James, Sirius and Peter walked through an abandoned part of the woods.

The sky was dark, and the clouds radiated a faint shimmer indicating the full moon would appear soon.

“I won’t transform until I absolutely need to.” Y/N said firmly, hand holding onto Remus’ tightly.

“She’ll follow our lead, Moony, don’t worry.” Sirius said.

Unintentionally, they stopped at a small hill, deeming the timing to be right.

“Y/N, it’s not too late, you could just Disapparate away, I-“ Remus said to Y/N.

“Remus. Stop. I’m not scared.” Y/N smiled at him, cupping his cheek. “You’re still you. And I love you, all parts of you. Nothing will change that, or you and me.”

Remus nodded, breathing quickly and pulled her in for a kiss, before the other Marauders beckoned Y/N to back away slightly as the moon started to peak.

The night changed in an instant.

The opal orb shone in the sky and in the moonlight, Y/N watched as Remus’ tall silhouette trembled, his body morphing into a werewolf.

Y/N was in awe. His body lengthened. His shoulders were hunching. Hair sprouted visibly from his head and neck and his hands curled into clawed paws. Straightening up, he howled to the sky, the sound echoing into the rest of the night.

Y/N’s mind went blank. The Marauders had transformed as she kept her eye on Remus. For a second, the werewolf’s eyes met hers, but before she could do anything, he lunged for her.

Adrenaline shot through her body as the werewolf made a swipe towards her, a big black dog jumping in between them just in time for Remus’ sharp claw to slightly graze her shoulder before she transformed with a crack, into a dove and flew up, batting her wings.

+

“I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.” Remus whispered painfully, finger tracing over the small permanent scratch near Y/N’s shoulder.

“But I’m fine.” Y/N pursed her lips, eyes looking into Remus’ face imploringly. “Because I knew that it wasn’t you. And after the night ended, you cared for me so tenderly and lovingly. Gently. Because that is the real you.”

+

Remus soaked a warm towel for the millionth time as he sat Y/N on the toilet next to the sink to tend the small scratch she had acquired from him.

“Rem, it’s okay, do you realize that I’ve broken literal bones before! This is nothing.” Y/N said, letting him clean the patch of skin before taking both of his hands in hers. He kneeled in between her legs.

“I could never forgive myself for this, I’m so sorry-“

“Please. In the best way possible, shut up.” Y/N smiled, eyes welling up at the unnecessary look of remorse plaguing Remus’ face. “That wasn’t you. And nothing that I saw or felt last night changes who you are to me now.”

“You don’t…see me as a monster? You don’t even feel a tiny bit scared being with me right now?” Remus teared up.

Y/N smiled, eyes crinkling and letting tears fall down her cheeks. “I just feel you.”

+

Y/N woke up from her nap the night of the full moon to find Remus’ side of the bed empty. Eventually, she had gotten Remus to agree to let her accompany him as she always did, but in human form this time.

Getting up, she spotted Remus already at the door. She crossed her arms.

“Are you running away?” Y/N frowned, her husband jumping at getting caught.

“No, I-I figured I’d head out earlier.”

Y/N walked towards him, squeezing his shoulders.

“We talked about this. It’ll be okay.” Y/N reassured him. She saw the fear still in his eyes but he nodded, blinking some away and reaching to get Y/N’s coat for her.

They walked in the chilly night air, making their way to the Forest. Although this felt completely new, they had never done this at Hogwarts and they were expecting new results tonight, there was also a sense of déjà-vu present in the air.

Y/N had been helping Remus with every one of his transformations during their entire marriage and before, ever since she was 18. It’s been almost 13 years that they were in this together.

We're only gettin' older, baby

And I've been thinkin' about it lately

“Thank you for being here.” Remus said, squeezing her hand. “And I don’t just mean tonight.”

Y/N squeezed it back tightly, beaming at him. The moon was close to being fully out, and they stopped on a small hill overlooking Hagrid’s Hut where it would appear in full view.

Does it ever drive you crazy

Just how fast the night changes?

“Remember, if I make any sudden moves, you transform on the spot, okay?” Remus looked down at her, eyes full of conviction. Y/N nodded.

They both stood there, waiting, anticipation through the roof. They felt nauseous, from nervousness. The clouds began to fade, and more moonlight shined onto them. Slowly, they let go of each other’s hands and took a couple steps back from each other.

Everything that you've ever dreamed of

Disappearing when you wake up

The first beam of light hit Remus as the full moon emerged.

But there's nothing to be afraid of

Even when the night changes

His neck began elongating, thick hair growing from his head and covering his back. His shoulders hunched as he grew taller, breaking through the material of his clothes. 

It will never change, baby

Y/N watched from a short distance as Remus morphed into a towering creature. Her incantation was ready in her head, just in case she had to transform into the dove.

It will never change, baby

Slowly, the full-fledge werewolf straightened up from its hunched over position. His eyes met Y/N’s and her body tensed, remembering. Instead of lunging at her, he sat down, his human-like eyes expressing gentleness. Y/N took a tiny step towards him.

“Remus?” She said, voice trembling.

The werewolf nodded.

Taking steps closer, she shakily got down onto her knees to join him on the ground. She lifted a hand, tentatively, and inch by inch, approached it to cup his cheek. At the contact, they both breathed out in relief.

“I just feel you.” Y/N smiled, tears flowing from her eyes.

It will never change me and you.

to be continued

a/n: as always i’d love to hear what u thought or what ud like to see of the series:)

tags @bicyhot1  @pink-hufflepuff  @legitlaughingflamingo @brod16  @gerardonmyway  @blueleonor  @suranne-doesstuff  @rxmusblxck  @spxllcxstxr  @littleemo477  @just12randomfandoms  @svnkissdd  @norrreee  @m4r13l3y  @jess6578  @rorysreallyrandom  @the-nightingale-not-the-lark  @archeve19  @wolfstarslovechild  @pan-pride-12  @x4kai4x  @chrrybmb-mp3  @reggieluna  @happyslittlekitten  @missemilygilmore  @all-things-fictional @strangefirething  @abitofeverythinggg  @yeahshewayout  @imfreeeeeee123  @harold-pothead  @lunnybunny12  @ellieblack11  @tugabooos  @joyfulbiscuit  @justonemorechapter07 @wonderwoman292  @skateb0red  @secretsthathauntus  @siriusblackswhoree  @sabonbonn  @untraveled-road  @annabeljareau  @valiantobservationkitty @diffbeanofbrand  @theeicedamericano​  @spencerreidlove  @flannellover67  @wishiwasdeadric  @becks7401​  @katsav17  @emmy-kitty13  @purritoqueen  @girl22334  @monicafebyana​  @talsiaa​  @sierrax023​  @axva03  @uhh-dk  @nataliahgrace​  

#remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #Professor Remus Lupin #professor lupin x reader #professor! reader #charmed

[space-city-traffic]

yet again im back on my bullshit so... (gazes with mixed feelings at the TV show Firefly) i could fix him.

my extremely long thoughts about my Own Personal Good Version of Firefly (with plenty of spoilers for the show and the movie) under the cut:

things that are getting axed first thing no question:

out with the whole “let’s add in a thin veneer of Chinese cultural aesthetics out of context for ~flavor~” deal. just no.

instead, let’s hire some actors from a bunch of different cultures and work with them to figure out how their characters would bring those cultures into space with them!! and also hopefully bring some experiences with immigration/alienation/travel into it, since the Whole Core of Firefly is about how humanity always brings our doomed and silly and stubborn and unique warmth with us even into the cold void where nothing is familiar or homey in the slightest.

let’s respect our sex worker character shall we?

i do appreciate that Inara’s work as a companion is described as legitimate and well respected in the show. however please stop having your captain and hero call her a wh*re every five seconds against her clearly expressed wishes and portraying this as just a totally acceptable thing

let’s be more respectful of our characters of color and also have some more diversity, shall we?

others have put it better than me but yeah, the way Zoe and Book are treated is very uncomfy, and the rest of the show is depressingly monochromatic. come on let’s do better.

stop the weird confederacy hat tips

again others have pointed these out with much more thoroughness than I could, but the names of some characters and locations, as well as some of the language used to describe the browncoats, has uncomfortably confederate vibes. instead i propose we very Clearly tip our hats to the Alliance equaling space capitalism instead! you can’t go wrong with space capitalism as a villain.

don’t! make! the! psychotic! character! violent!

listen i love River Tam with my whole heart. but you should absolutely not portray your only character with psychosis as violent because of that psychosis!!!!!!! and yeah, a huge part of her character is that her brain got fucked up by the alliance and so she hallucinates and is also a super ninja. but like. she doesn’t need to be a super ninja for her character to work, okay? the crew does not need to be scared of her for her character to work, okay??? more on this later bc it would take a lot of care and nuance to make her character work but i really think it can be done

things we are absolutely keeping:

found family tropes my fucking beloved

this should be self evident. this is why the show is as appealing as it is despite its flaws, at least in my eyes.

malcolm reynolds, the knight in dusty armor

there’s something so appealing to me about what Mal stands for. because at his core is this ridiculous, silly, stubborn, doomed devotion to what he thinks is important and right, a romantic idealism thinly covered by cynical cowboy platitudes that he thinks make his bleeding heart totally invisible. and he is so obvious and entirely incorrect. bless. this is a man who will do anything for his family, who charges into swordfights to defend his friend from a man who wants to turn her into an object despite having no clue how to hold a sword. at his worst, he starts brawls in bars just for the martyr’s thrill of being persecuted for supporting the right; at his best, he inspires downright religious belief from his crew because he represents a romantic and chivalrous and doomed dedication to the right thing over any practical concerns. and then he throws a “selfish” quip over it with 100% confidence that everyone fell for his clever distraction and believes him to be a dirtbag. he’s oblivious and ridiculous and god he makes me want to be a better person because he’s just so goddamned sincere. stupid, but sincere. 10/10 himbo. <3

Mal and Inara ultraslowburn friends to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to friends to...

there’s nothing i love more than a ship that’s just two people who know each other way too well, and they’re each the only one who knows the other well enough to call them out on their bullshit. the way Mal and Inara interact in the show sometimes makes me uncomfy but like. the core of their relationship has to stay.

space western aesthetic

i need the cows on a spaceship scene to stay like i need air okay

that sweet sweet religious shit

mal, who lost his faith in gd and a whole lot else during the war. who lost his faith in himself, and now feels he has to hide the part of him that still wants to be good, because he knows he can’t be anymore, and he feels like it’s embarrassing for a guy like him to want something so unattainable. who takes a preacher on board, and the preacher has lost something, too. the preacher has his own past, and his own questions. but not questions like the observant neurodivergent girl, the one who wants to interact with and understand this thing that’s so important to him, but it just doesn’t click with how her brain works and she feels like something needs to be fixed, either the Bible or herself. and Mal takes care of them all, and slowly, he begins to find gd again, not in a prayer but in humanity. humanity doesn’t need to be fixed, like the alliance thinks. the shining imperfect strawberry sweetness of it in his family’s smiles is something to be worshiped and served and devoted to. and he finds he has something to believe in again. (and his crew find that he’s given them someone to believe in, too. and maybe suddenly he’s a saint.)

and finally, my brilliant ideas as to what i would like to add:

TRANS WOMAN KAYLEE RIGHTS

listen her femininity is so important to me okay? it’s so thrilled about everything that’s pretty, from dresses to the spaceship’s electric innards, and it’s so non-traditional and grease stained until it’s not and it’s pink and ruffly and twirly, and she never sees any of it as a contradiction, because none of it contradicts, it’s all just her! her gender is warmth and love and prettiness, feeling pretty and appreciating the pretty and making her friends’ days pretty too.

i want us to find out she’s trans in that episode with the ball, and i want us to find out alongside Mal who just never asked or never realized. Kaylee gasps and squeals at the dress in the shop window and Mal makes an off handed, ill considered comment, and then... someone yanks him aside and hisses a few very significant words in his ear. and suddenly he remembers what the blue white and pink she painted all over the engine room means, and he knows he has something to make right. so he buys her that dress himself and lets her know just how pretty she looks, and when he walks into that ball with her displayed on his arm like something precious, he looks the proudest out of any man there. and she notices. for a few seconds, of course, until there’s chocolate, and ‘nara, and a chandelier—and some horrible girls, but she’s used to that, until—suddenly, she finds her people. a group of old men who light up when she jokes about compression coils and whack presumptuous boys who ask her to dance. they adopt her as a treasured granddaughter, and Mal is beaming at her like a proud dad, and she finds that one of her new elderly friends gazes a little too long at her bracelet, and so she gives it to xem and teaches xem a few new words, and... it’s a good day, huh? it’s a really good day. (of course, then the captain has to go and punch somebody in the face, but it was a real nice party up until then.)

also she and Simon are both transhet t4t im correct and you know it

time for a better River Tam

the first thing we’ve established is that this version of her is not unpredictably violent and the crew is not scared of her!!!! it makes no sense to take a kid who’s primarily brilliant, experiment on her brain, give her telepathic powers....... and tack on the fact that she also has super strength and speed and dexterity and what not, AND say that they programmed her to be super violent. no! no. not only is that extremely harmful rep, that’s also just stupid.

instead!! my version of River is in fact not terrifying to the crew, but is actually the one they feel safest around. River has always been totally blunt, she was one of those kids you could tell realllllly early was autistic, and she doesn’t like being disengenous at all. so you can always trust her to tell the truth and not play weird passive aggressive games or have any hidden agenda, which makes her just a really chill person to be around. also, one of her longtime special interests is music and dance, so whether or not she’s nonverbal on a given day, there will always be some sort of beautiful sound when she’s around. she does have the singing voice of a dying crow unfortunately but that’s ok bc Simon’s is even worse and they’re both incredibly competitive so you’ll at least get free entertainment out of the affair.

my version of River does have psychosis and hallucinations because of the trauma of the experiments, and they are really troubling to her. she and Simon work together to find ways to cope and meds that help, and it’s a process, but there are some things that help.

the only thing she gained from the academy was the ability to hear people’s thoughts and sense the future a little bit. and yeah, that led to her picking up a few spooky secrets at the beginning, which, yikes. and for a while, it was hard to figure out which voices were real and which were hallucinations. but around her friends, she always feels safe to ask “did you just think about triple cheese burritos or was that just a me thing?”, and they’ll always tell her the truth no matter how embarrassing their thoughts are, bc it’s important to all of them to respect her and help her sort accurately through what’s reality and what’s not. and bit by bit, she gets better and better at figuring out what kinds of things tend to be telepathy and what kinds of things tend to be psychosis, and that each one feels a little different. and because of the trust and respect and support of her found family she’s able to do that in a safe environment!!!

trans man Simon rights

listen i wanted to keep him as just a side note on Kaylee’s list but he is my son and he’s important to my heart so here goes

out on the outer rim where Kaylee’s from, gender ain’t much of a big deal, there’s an individualistic quality to life out there, and so if the trail you blaze is the trail of a woman or a man or neither or both, that’s respected even in the rare cases where it’s not outright encouraged. but in the inner planets, where competition and connections and public faces and family names are everything, you have to be what’s expected of you to survive. you can’t change your brand, you can’t be anything other than what your family planned for you since before you were born, it’s incredibly hard to survive in such a hyper competitive environment, and so your very identity becomes just a tool in how to market yourself for better success.

needless to say Simon (just as autistic as his little sister and also very trans) fuckin hated it there. but he was very good at it. correction: he was very good at his very specific field of STEM, good enough to where people stopped talking about how cute he looked in bows and started talking about how impressive his work was from a very young age. and his work had no gender. he could be whatever he wanted to in equations. so that was where he could express himself, and gd, he got so much praise for it, he never wanted to stop.

not until he discovered that his sister needed him, and ran away, and needed a disguise, and realized... suddenly, every stifling rule and prying eye was a million miles away. he was freefloating, freefalling, with none of the charted paths he’d been following all his life... so you know what? fuck it. he’s always enjoyed the name Simon. and since it’s not on any legal records, it’ll make him just that much more untraceable.

and on Serenity, starting over with new people who never knew him before his transition feels like an unbelievable blessing that just dropped right into his lap. he has to keep up the secrecy, he has to make sure they never find out who he used to be, because gd, it’s so nice when they look at him and say his name right, and he doesn’t know if he can handle losing that, not when it’s so new and so important to the person he’s finally becoming. but then one day, the unthinkable happens, the wanted posters for his arrest have an old name on them, they’re looking for the Tam sisters, and... nothing changes. the crew of Serenity could not give even a tenth of a percent of a fuck, and it doesn’t seem like they even know they’re supposed to. huh. that’s new. Simon could get used to that, he thinks.

i’m sure there’s more i could add, but it’s 4:30 in the morning now, so if more occurs to me, ill simply add it in a reblog tomorrow. if you’ve read down this far, i am in love with you. please let me know your Better Firefly ideas, too, bc im always down to yell about this show!!!

#firefly #Serenity #in which i choke out joss whedon with my bare hands and rescue his characters and give them better homes #ollies fix it series #malcolm reynolds #ollies personal good firefly canon

[unopenablebox]

dreadfully i’m now trying to figure out how “fandom spaces” work in the contemporary era

if you are in the writing/betaing part of fandom, where do you do it? how do you find people to do it with? where do you talk to them? i’d be delighted to beta read for people in fandoms that i read but don’t write in (which is a large pool), just to make social connections and be doing beta stuff, but i also don’t understand how anyone ends up doing that. do you try to make friends by commenting on fics a lot? join people’s personal discord servers? is the answer to all of these questions “twitter” and i should accordingly resign myself to not having any of these things? let me know in the comments

a bunch of extra elaboration for no reason under the cut

wow readmores are dramatic-looking nowadays. take this as “paragraph break/elaborating-on-the-snappy-post” like how i normally use tags, rather than the thing it currently is on tumblr where the readmore hides Drama

i’m... writing fic, i guess because i needed to find new and innovative ways to take my brain on a vacation from my thesis. and im trying to figure out how people actually do the thing where they find people to have betaing relationships with. my restrictions here are 1. i refuse to go on twitter ever 2. i want to be interacting with adults and people who can write functional prose 3. i’m uncomfortable with presuming on my mutuals here to beta things since i think almost none of you actually share “my” “fandoms”, if you are in fandom at all, which most of you are not

i don’t know why i’m so reluctant to .... okay, i’m reluctant to merge fandom activities with this blog because this blog is actually in some ways a more continuous/reputation-staked identity than my rl legal identity, many of my mutuals are Serious People who i am trying not to alienate, and i thus far am only able to write fanfiction for cringe children’s media. which is to say i have like 1.5 published fics and they’re both incredibly earnest trans-ish romance for a french animated children’s show that i have never actually watched. my current writing is all for a minor young adult fantasy series about science wizards doing catholic apologetics, and if we’re really lucky i might graduate to.... trans slash fic about a tamora pierce book. so i actually probably won’t be able to find a beta due to being in fandoms of effective size 1

i guess the other thing is im desperate not to get in fights with teenagers about whether my trans etc credentials are sufficient for me to write x thing which is why i don’t actually note what my ~demographics are anywhere on my ao3 or whatever, and also one of several reasons why im scared of writing for anything big. twitter users and teenagers alarm and disconcert me and im permanently unready to engage in ship discourse. do people still have dreamwidths?? do they... find each other... on dreamwidth somehow? my impression of dreamwidth was always that it’s an exclusively word-of-mouth-based unsearchable perblog phenomenon and you have to already have friends

anyway. this is the concern that occupies my thoughts so that i dont accidentally think about my phd

#box opener #??????????? #f... fan? dom?

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Breakfast in the Bed || Mike Wheeler x Reader

Day 3 of Fictober

Pairings: Mike Wheeler x [gn]Reader, Elmax

Fandom: Stranger Things (2016-)

Requested: Could you write a Mike x Reader fic where Mike and the rest of the party surprise the reader with breakfast in bed on their birthday and the reader accidentally confesses that she likes Mike? Or something like that, idk. Thanks!

A//n: Holy fuck, im so sorry this took a million years, but thank you loads for being so incredibly patient. It gets so hard sometimes, but know that I appreciate your guys' understanding and patience with me and I've always had every intention of getting it done cause I want to keep my promise to you guys 💞 i thought this was a cute request, and for a while I had this idea stuck in my head that made it kinda hard to write but then when I started writing, it took a different direction in a different tone but i think it helped. Its more of a funny chaotic kind of fluff rather than an typical "you like me?" cliche fluff. Either way I hope you like it and thanks again for being so patient and requesting!

Fictober Day 1: "you did this?"

[Not Really] Warnings: fluff, a Zathura reference. Elmax being adorable girlfriends

Key: f/b = favorite breakfast/fav.food

"Are you sure about this, man?"

"Shh!" Mike hisses, trying desperately to keep the tray in his hands balanced. "You'll wake Y/n!"

Lucas looks at his friend completely dumbfounded like the rest of the group, aside from El who clung to Max's arm with a perplexed expression and a party hat on her head.

"Dude," Lucas deadpans. "That's the whole point."

"You know what I mean," Mike huffs.

With some convincing from your head of house and some careful planning the night before, the party now found themselves in your doorway with your favorite breakfast. You were still out cold, head buried in your pillow and your limbs tangled messily in your sheets.

"Are you sure we even should be doing this?" Max asks in a whisper. "You know how Y/n feels about sleeping. And, ya know, I'd want to sleep in on my birthday."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Dustin eases with a smile, and a cheery tune. "It's us! And food. In bed!"

He steps out from behind Mike and enters your bedroom, and everyone watches wearily as he tiptoes to your bedside. You still hadn't moved, aside from the steady rise and fall of your body. Max's words played over in Mike's head and the more it did he couldn't help but realize she was probably right. He tried calling out to Dustin but it was too late. By the time the grinning boy had reached out to touch your shoulder it looked more as if he were poking a sleeping bear.

You groaned but never moved, and Dustin tried again.

"Dustin?" Will whispers uneasily. "Maybe, Max is right. Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

"Y/n~" Dustin sings in a low volume, and he begins shaking you more. "Y/n, wake up~! We've got a surprise for you~!"

You shift in your bed but again, show no signs of consciousness. Dustin looks over his shoulder at his friends, a bright smile overtaking his face.

"Guys, it's fine! Look," He turns back to you, shaking your shoulder again and missing the winces from your friends. "Y/n-"

Dustin stumbles back when your palm meets his face with a rough smack.

"Go away!" You exclaim, eyes screwed shut to block out all the invasive light that stung your vision.

You didn't quite know who all was there, all you did know was that people were in your bedroom and trying to wake you up.

"Why," you seethed, your voice low and gravelly from lack of use. "am I awake at,"

You roll over to look at the flickering red lights of your alarm clock, your eyelids fighting hard to stay open.

"six-thirty in the morning?"

Through your blurry vision you can make out all of the party standing in your room, looks of displacement written all over their faces. It's quiet for a moment as they struggle for words, until El breaks the silence with a party blower.

Max winces from her side, and sends a small smile to the brunette and in a small voice says to her. "Yeah, maybe not now, okay El?"

El winces, taking the party blower out of her hand and gives you a wide toothy smile. You didn't mind so much as you just wanted to give into what your body was telling you do; bury yourself under the covers and slip back into sleep.

You groan again, doing just that. You let your body fall back into the small nest you had unintentionally made for yourself but you knew the comfort was going to be short lived. And it was.

"Come on, Y/n," Lucas said, stepping into your bedroom, gesturing past Dustin who was still rubbing his nose, and over to Mike who timidly held the tray of f/b. "We made you breakfast."

They were met with silence. And no, they were not being ignored but you in fact were drifting back off.

"You can eat it in bed," Lucas added with a hopeful grin.

Your head picked up when you registered what your friend said. Your eyelids still felt they were made of magnets wanting to snap together but it was a little easier to fight it.

You were kinda hungry... And you wanted to spend today with your friends anyway.

You plastered on a sleepy smile, and turned to look at your friends through your half-lidded eyes as if you hadn't just scolded them.

"For me?" You asked in an exaggerated, sickly sweet voice that asked them to move on from it.

They all laughed nervously - again, apart from El who just seemed happy you were happy now.

"Yup," Lucas said. "We thought you deserved something special for your birthday, so we all decided to surprise you."

His voice was a bit uneasy, but your brain was still too foggy to comprehend it. So you just pulled yourself up into a sitting position against your pillows, readjusting your sleepshirt and pajama bottoms since they had shifted an uncomfortable amount throughout the night.

You smiled up at them all, feeling kinda guilty.

"Thank you guys," you said, with a genuine smile. "This is actually really nice. Here, you can come in,"

Mike seemed the most relieved out of all of them, and anxiously he stepped forward and headed for your bedside with the tray table full of food and drink. Max and El walked hand in hand to stand at the end of you bed, Max taking a seat on the end of the mattress to face you while El began playing with ends of her hair. Lucas and Dustin were further along the side of the bed to make room for Mike who carried the tray.

You bit the inside of you cheek a little, rubbing the sleep away from your eyes as you yawned.

"Sorry I hit you, Dustin," you say meekly, beginning to feel a bit silly about the whole thing.

He shrugs it off with a smile. "Eh, no worries. We'll be laughing about it later. Right, guys?"

He pat Mike's back in a playful - and forceful - manner, unintentionally throwing the balance off the tray. Not a single item stayed on the wooden tray, but was now splayed out all over your sheets and soaking through your shirt and pajama bottoms. You jumped back at the unwelcomed and highly uncomfortable sensation, gaping down at the mess you were now buried in. Slowly you look up to meet eyes with the party, particularly Dustin and Mike.

They looked as if they had crapped their pants.

Dustin's jaw hangs open for a moment, his entire body completely frozen. His right hand is wrenched up to point at Mike, who stares at the tray with glazed eyes, and his face completely crimson.

"It was all his idea!" Dustin squeaks.

Your fiery gaze meets Mike's terrified one, and his mouth parts as he begins sputtering. He was trying to summon an apology, or even an "it was an accident" but all he managed was a nervous, uncomfortable smile.

Your heart would have fluttered at his state had it not been for the meal that had just been dumped on you. You yank the sheets off of you, drops of what hadn't yet soaked completely in flew through the air and hit some of your friends and Mike backs away. He drops the tray from his hands when you climb out of bed with a look that could kill, wet chunks of food falling off of you and landing on the floor with slap.

"You did this?"

Sure, your best friend and long time crush had looped all your friends into coming over and surprising you for your birthday. But he also was the reason you not only lost a long morning of sleeping in, but were now wearing your breakfast and didn't have a warm bed to go back into when they left.

You're eyes narrowed at him. "You did this."

"I'm sorry!" He shouts, running out into the hallway.

"YOU'RE LUCKY I LIKE YOU WHEELER, OR YOU'D BE DEAD! NOW GET BACK HERE, AND CLEAN THIS UP!" You shout, running out right after him.

The remainder of the party stands awkwardly at your bedside where you left them.

Dustin laughs nervously. "That went well,"

Will gestured over his shoulder towards the hall, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Wait," he laughs. "Did Y/n finally just admit what I think Y/n just admitted?"

Max grimaced as she wiped away the remainder of food that had clung to her face, and flicked it away disgusted that she had been hit.

"Yup," Max says, popping the 'p'. "Didn't think I'd see the day, either."

#fictober20 #fictober 2020 #fictober #fictober day 3 #mike wheeler x reader #gender neutral imagine #requested #stranger things #mike wheeler #elmax #mike wheeler imagine #mike wheeler one shot #mike wheeler x gn!reader #mike wheeler x gender nuetral!reader #fic

[junicai]

boil over.

| summary | Aria gives Jaemin some tough love (and then hugs)

| word count | 2.1k

| warnings | 1 (one) curse word

| era | circa. 2017, Jaemin’s hiatus

29. “NO! You can’t get up, you’re my prisoner for today.”

40. “Get out.”

a/n: anon i am so sorry. u said it would be funny i - it took a turn and i couldnt save it im so sorry

“Nana?” 

Aria knocked gently on Jaemin’s closed bedroom door with one hand, rapping her knuckles against the dark wood while her other hand balanced a plate in her palm precariously. 

There was no response heard through the door, and Aria frowned. She raised her fist again, knocking once again. “Jaemin? You asleep?” 

A low groan sounded this time, and Aria could hear the rustling of his bed sheets. 

“Can I come in?” 

“No.” Jaemin’s voice was rough with unuse, petulant to the point where Aria could hear the pout she knew he was donning in his tone.

“Too bad,” Aria shrugged, hand pressing the door handle open regardless, “Please don’t be naked.”

A spluttered sound came from inside the room when Aria pushed open the door, eyes trained on the ground. Stepping inside, the door closed behind her with a soft click and she heard the tell-tale rustle of Jaemin’s bedsheets that he was trying to adjust himself into a sitting position.

“Nana,” Aria scolded, turning briefly to place the plate down on the desk on the opposite side of the room before crossing the floor in three quick strides to make it to Jaemin’s bedside. Her hands reached out to help him lift himself but stopped in mid-air when a glare was sent her way.

“Get out.”

Aria could tell the words were meant to be cold, but they just came out petulant when accompanied by the slight whine Jaemin let out immediately following another attempt to push himself upright. 

“Oh shush,” Aria muttered, hands slipping underneath the sheet to place one on the small of his back and using the other to press his shoulders up. Slowly, Jaemin shuffled into a more sitting-like position, back pillowed up by several pillows that had been gathered onto his bed from around the dorm.

The Dreamies had banded together and collected what pillows they could spare - Jisung offering both pillows from his bed until Jeno reminded him that he actually needed one of those if he didn’t want to have neck pain every single morning for the foreseeable future. 

Stepping back from Jaemin, Aria placed her hands on her hips, eyebrow cocked at the boy who laid sheepishly in his bed, covers tucked underneath his chin.

“How’re you feeling?” Aria asked.

“I’m alright,” Jaemin said, dismissing her with a shrug. 

“So. Do you want to explain why you’ve spent the last two weeks moping in your bedroom and I had to find out about it after coming back from practice today? Or shall I find Injunnie and let him explain?” Aria said, head tilted to the left. 

Jaemin’s eyes fell away from Aria’s face, suddenly finding interest in the pattern-less sheets that covered his bed. His fingers played with the off-white material while his teeth nibbled on his bottom lip. 

Aria let out a sigh, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. It sank slightly underneath her weight, and Aria shuffled backwards so she was sitting comfortably. 

“Nana, it’s ok. It sucks. I know.”

“Do you?” 

Aria looked up surprised, eyebrows furrowing as she looked at Jaemin’s face. There were deep purple rings beneath his eyes but his skin was clearer; the lack of make-up was doing him good. Slightly thinner - the look all of them get when they’d been too busy to find time to eat a meal. By the plate on the floor beside his bed, still with a good deal of food on it - Aria wasn’t sure if it was the lack of time or the lack of desire.

 He looked tired, but also ticked, like something she’d said had rubbed him the wrong way.

“I don’t think you do.” Jaemin’s voice wasn’t angry, but his words held weight to them regardless.

Aria sat back slightly, taken aback by the sudden change of tone. “What-”

“I don’t think you understand this at all,” Jaemin interrupted her, pushing himself further upright with another small wince. “I don’t think a single person understands what its like to be told, a year after debuting that I’m going to have to take a six month or more hiatus. I don’t think you understand that I’m sitting her, watching you all go to practice and learn new dance routines and promote; and I’m being left behind. I don’t think you get the fact that it feels like I’ve been gut punched, and then told to walk it off!”

“Nana no that’s not what’s happening-”

“It is! It is what’s happening and you’re lying to me when you say it’s not. Its like trainee days but worse because I can’t even go to the practice room. Hell, I can’t even go home because the company doesn’t want me seen outside. So I’m stuck here, alone, no one else in the dorms for the most part of the day, can’t go see my family like you normally can on a hiatus, can’t do anything except sit here and be useless! Do you know what that’s like? I can’t see my parents, I can’t practice, I can’t do what I trained to do for years and you’re telling me that you understand? Bullshit.” Jaemin was yelling now, all the words that had been building up exploding on the wrong person.

Aria felt her teeth break the skin of her lip. 

“So,forgive me, for staying in my room all day. I just didn’t fancy having to drag you all away from practice to make sure I didn’t fall over myself on the way to the bathroom.” With a resounding bite in his words, Jaemin settled himself against the pillow again. 

It seemed like the conversation was over, Jaemin with his gaze fixed downwards on his extended legs. Aria kept her eyes upwards, blinking rapidly. But the fact that they were both still sitting in silence made the atmosphere fill up with tension like a bubbling pot that was half an inch away from an overflow. 

Jaemin had his hands folded in his lap, fingers toying with the unravelling string on the hem of his t-shirt as he refused to look back up. 

The pot boiled.

“I’m sorry.”

That, was not what he was expecting. 

“I’m sorry, that was insensitive of me. You’re right, I don’t know what it feels like.”

Suddenly, Jaemin was simultaneously infinitely grateful and incredibly disappointed that it was Aria whom he was having this conversation with. 

Had it been Donghyuck, he could only imagine the screaming match it would have turned into. Donghyuck was always quick to lose his cool when someone was being uncooperative, and Jaemin was looking to get a rise out of someone. It wasn’t even that Jaemin was unwilling to talk to them anymore, it was the fact that he insinuated the fact that they didn’t care about him? Donghyuck would have brought the walls down; and Jaemin doesn’t know if that’s something he craved at this moment or not.  

Renjun would have simply turned around and left the second Jaemin got huffy - the older boy had minimal patience for things like this, and liked to remove himself from the situation before he said something he would regret. 

Aria, on the other hand, would sit there and let Jaemin yell at her for however long he needed to with her head bowed and hands in her lap. She wouldn’t yell back, wouldn’t rise to meet his anger but would sit there calmly until it fizzled out like a candle wick burned down to the end, wax spilling over slowly until it hardened and became stagnant once more. 

Jaemin didn’t think he really wanted to yell; not anymore. 

Aria still wasn’t looking at him, choosing instead to focus her gaze on the top of his headboard. Her eyes were darting back and forth slightly, like she wanted to look down at him but kept thinking better of it. 

“I don’t know what it feels like, but what I do know is that it’s not going to get better if you hole yourself up in a room for six months,” Aria explained, hands curling into fists.

“The only thing you’re doing is making it worse, Nana. So so much worse for yourself - we don’t care about having to help you do things, we don’t care about being a few minutes late to practice because you needed something from the kitchen and just couldn’t face getting up again; we don’t care. And I need you to look at me right now and tell me you understand that.”

Jaemin looked at her. 

“We don’t care,” Aria spoke softer now. “What we care about is the fact that you’re in pain right now, and we care about what we can do to help you fix that.”

Jaemin let his face scrunch up, a retort forming on the tip of his tongue. 

“There’s no shame in asking for help, Jaemin.”

Jaemin sunk, boneless, into the pillows supporting him - a crack being multiplied by ten and suddenly shattering. The pot boiled, spilling over the sides and splashing down. Tears spilled over Jaemin’s cheeks, shoulders shaking as a fist was shoved into his mouth to stop himself from making a sound. 

“Oh, Nana,” Aria’s voice was saddened, a deep blue colour as she moved to lie beside Jaemin on the bed while being careful not to jostle the boy. “Please don’t cry, it’s okay.”

Jaemin only cried harder, teeth making indents in his skin until his hand was puled gently but insistently from his mouth and was being held in Aria’s hands. With no muffler there, a sob ripped itself from his chest and he choked at the force of it. 

Aria only moved closer, pushing herself up the bed slightly to allow Jaemin to hide his face in her chest as he cried. 

Jaemin shook through his cries, Aria running a hand through his hair the entire time. It was knotted, like he hadn’t brushed through it in a few days and she made a note to bring in one of their hairbrushes later on when he was asleep. 

Slowly, his sobs petered out into small sniffles, Aria’s shirt soaked through but she paid no mind to the wet material sticking to her skin. Her back ached slightly from the odd position she had forced herself into to ensure that Jaemin wouldn’t be twisted uncomfortably.

Jaemin’s breaths evened out again over the next ten minutes or so, eventually to the point that Aria was sure that the boy had fallen asleep until he shifted slightly to look up at her from his position lying on her chest. 

His red eyes were stark against his pale skin, and Aria never thought she’d be jealous of how prettily someone cried and yet here she was. 

Jaemin rubbed at his nose slightly with the corner of his sheet, sniffling and then sneezing when the loose ends tickled his nose. He let out a watery laugh, throat clogged slightly and he cleared it when Aria began to smile despite herself.

He choked out another weak laugh before pressing himself back into Aria’s side. 

The air stilled around them, the pot taken off the heat and now cooling in the aftermath. 

Aria kept her hand carding through his hair, letting her other hand move to rub gently at Jaemin’s ear in a soothing gesture now that she didn’t need to keep herself elevated slightly. 

Her arms ached, but she paid no mind to it, instead choosing to delicately open their little pocket of serenity. 

“You’re so important to us, Nana. You can’t forget that.”

Jaemin declined to respond, instead choosing to hide his face further into the material of Aria’s clothes. 

“Even if this hiatus takes seven, or eight months. Or a year. There’s always a place for you in Dream. Always.”

This time Jaemin sniffled, still refusing to speak but let his hand come up from underneath the sheets to intertwine with Aria’s. She squeezed it lightly, holding it tight in her grasp. 

They stayed that way for another while, Jaemin slowly falling into sleep while Aria pet his hair. 

“Nana,” Aria whispered, moving closer so that he would hear her.

Jaemin made a small hum in acknowledgement. 

“I have to go prep dinner for the others, they should be back soon.” Aria apologized.

There was nothing for a second, and then Jaemin was craning up to look back at Aria; eyes wide and sparkling. 

“Stay?”

Aria stayed.

#*aria.writings #hi this was meant to be fluffy and ive just made myself sad #nari everybody #*claps* #nct 24th member #nct 22nd member #nct dream 8th member #nct additional member #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #superm #kpop!oc #kpop additions #kpop #kpop addition #nct female member #nct female member au #nct female oc #nct extra member #nct addition #nct additions

[mysmegrace]

woop wait i just saw the requests open thing sorry , can i please request the rfa with an ace/asexual mc ?

of course! thank you so much for your request! i hope i did this justice, please let me know if any information in this post is inaccurate or misunderstood! i'm not asexual and my resource for all info is from the internet.

RFA with an Ace/Asexual MC

---

yoosung kim:

the topic of your sexuality first arose from a movie night in his university dorm.

you two have been dating for a while now and it's been in the back of yoosungs mind for a while.

in his mind, he knew the time for that special event to happen was approaching.

so he decided that tonight was the tonight he would bring it up ever so subtly and maybe experience it for the first time.

with your consent of course.

you had a different idea of the action however.

you don't understand the huge hype around it.

it just wasn't something you’re attracted to.

the action itself repulsed you.

that's not to say you didn't want a relationship with yoosung or didn't find him physically attractive.

you valued your significant others personality and the emotional connection you had together such a strong way.

and you hoped yoosung would understand that when you eventually told him.

so when you arrived, he had everything ready to make the night comfortable and amazing.

the fluffiest blankets you could imagine had been laid across the couch with a bowl of popcorn, made just the way you like it, in front of you on the coffee table.

and the night was just  beginning.

half-way through the movie, yoosung reached across your body laid in front of him to the coffee table and took up the remote to pause the film. 

he said in a low, yet nervous voice “MC, i was thinking recently..”

you could sense where this was going.

you knew you had to tell him sometime in the near future, but if you were honest, you didn’t expect to have to let him know tonight.

“we’ve been dating for a while now. usually couples around this point in the relationship would..” he continued, cutting himself off with a breath to calm his nerves.

then he let it out.

“start talking about that special event..you know, the really deep one in relationships. i was wondering if maybe you wanted for us to try that out for ourselves tonight?” he finished.

you could feel your heart racing ever so slightly.

you weren’t ashamed or embarrassed of your sexuality.

you were mainly concerned that yoosung would get the wrong idea or shame you because of it.

but you knew you had to tell him, so you answered after a long thought.

“i’ve..never been interested in those types of things. they’ve always repulsed me and made me uncomfortable. it’s not because of you personally, i was just born like this. i understand if you need some time but my idea of it won’t change anytime soon.”

you took a deep breath, slightly closing your eyes to shield you from his body language in case he would become angry or upset.

yoosung took a breath too as he thought about your response.

he had never thought about the fact that you may not have been attracted to those things.

he finally responded after a minute or two, saying “oh, i’ve never thought about it like that. i hope i haven’t made you uncomfortable..”

truth be told, yoosung wasn’t ready for the event just yet.

but he understood your feelings towards it.

the absence of sex didn’t mark the end of your relationship.

your relationship was much more than one physical action.

he wrapped his arm around your waist, saying

“don’t worry, i completely understand”.

then he resumed the movie, eventually falling asleep with you on the couch.

hyun ryu / zen:

you’ve been living with zen for a few months following the third rfa party.

over the course of these past few months, you could feel your relationship continuously evolving into something deeper.

zen kept making moves with you, getting increasingly physical each time.

you knew the time for that special event between couples was approaching.

and you were not looking forward to it. 

you found zen very physically attractive, but couldn’t imagine doing the deed with him.

it disgusted you to your core.

just the thought of it alone was enough to make you shiver.

one night after zen came home from practicing for his new role, he started with the typical nightly routine.

it consisted of skincare, a drink, and loving actions towards his love.

tonight when his loving actions came out, it continued to get deeper and deeper.

the arm around the waist turned into a kiss which continued into a make-up session.

eventually he was asking for your consent to go farther.

you knew what this meant and immediately got it together.

you quickly denied, saying “wait, i don’t want this”.

you could tell by the wave of shock and confusion flashing over his face that you would need to explain this.

so you quickly let him know why, saying “it’s not because i don’t want to be with you or think your ugly, i just think sex isn’t for me. i find the very thought of it disgusting. im content with kissing and i hope we can keep it this way”.

you hoped he wouldn’t be upset with you.

he was taken aback, sitting up to make eye contact.

he had never heard of someone not wanting to do the act.

not just with him, but all together.

however, he listened and stopped all action in the moment.

he looked away, thinking about your words.

he knew your relationship was more than physical actions and that something so deep wasn’t something that a relationship should be centered around. 

so after some thought, he embraced you.

reassuring you that this wouldn’t change the way he perceived you in this relationship.

he would still love you.

he could never not love you.

so instead of continuing your previous intense make out session, you two ended up cuddling, eventually falling asleep in a loving embrace.

jaehee kang:

you awoke with the sun piercing through your eyelids.

a rude awakening in your opinion.

as you rub your eyes, you turn to look at your love sleeping besides you.

it was only 5:30am, the cafe you two owned didn’t open until 8am.

with a solid 2 and a half hours to waste, you stroked your sleeping beauties face.

ever so gently moving her once short hair away from her face.

the sun eventually woke her up too, only 15 minutes after it woke you up.

she said good morning with a kiss.

you returned her kiss, but she continued the kiss.

deeping it more and more.

you had become a little annoyed, pulling away more and more every time she went in for another one.

she caught on not long after, giving you a questioning look.

 you were quick to explain your actions.

“i’m not comfortable with such physical actions. i’ve always had a general disgust when it comes to actions such as deep long kisses and sexual events. i hope i haven’t made you upset” you let out.

she was incredibly understanding, giving you a quick smile saying “oh, i’m sorry love. i understand”.

she then left the bedroom, heading to make breakfast for the both of you.

jumin han:

your wedding day was coming closer and closer by the day.

you knew jumin strongly believed in not living together before marriage or participating in extremely intimate actions before marriage.

however, you knew sex was something many people expected to happen in a marriage at some time.

you had no doubt jumin expected it too.

you couldn’t exactly blame him when you knew it was the societal norm.

but you hated it.

you hated everything about the action.

no matter what way you looked at it, you couldn’t understand why so many people want to take part in such a thing.

but you knew you would have to tell him sometime.

it would be better to tell him sooner than later.

you didn’t think it would be right to tell him after you were already married.

plus you wouldn’t want to spend your life with someone who couldn’t accept everything about you.

so tonight was the night you would let it out.

you met jumin at his home once he came home from work and cleaned up.

he offered you some wine, and you accepted.

it was the perfect opportunity.

watching the expensive liquid being poured into your glass, you wondered which way you should let him knew.

should you hint towards it?

should you say it outright?

you knew in your heart that that would be the best course of action.

jumin was a straight forward man afterall.

once both of you were settled down, you started off the conversation with your concerns about the marriage.

more importantly, your concerns about the sexual aspects of this.

jumin was caught off guard.

he didn’t expect you to be worried about it.

did you think he would hurt you during the act or take advantage of you?

however, he continued to listen with a concerned look on his face.

all of his predictions were shot down when you said your feelings towards the act.

you said you hated the thought of it and had no desire to ever participate in it.

“oh” he thought.

sure he would like to take part in those acts from time to time, but only if you were 100% comfortable with it.

if you didn’t want to do it, he would respect that.

afterall, he didn’t want to marry you for his own physical pleasure.

he completely understood you, but reassured you that you had nothing to worry about as he would never force that upon you.

he wants to marry you for you, not for your body.

saeyoung choi:

the night of your engagement was an exciting one to say the least.

a party with all of your close friends that you would consider family was exactly what you needed right now.

and to see your future husband and brother in law finally together made your heart want to explode out of your chest from happiness.

and now you were here, laying on saeyoungs bed smiling while talking about your future together.

the house you could build together.

the car you could drive to the store in.

the names of any future children you may have.

it’s safe to say, you two were getting carried away.

saeyoung started to make out with you after you two had calmed down a bit.

you returned the action, and it was getting increasingly heated as time went on.

he started to lay his hands upon the bottom of your shirt, gesturing towards pulling it off. 

you snapped out of your makeout haze after you realized what he was trying to get at.

you pulled away sharply, leaving him shocked.

did he do something wrong?

his head started racing with worries.

he didn’t want to upset you in anyway.

you blatantly let out your feelnings towards his actions.

“saeyoung, i don’t like that. you haven’t done anything terrible, i just don’t like things getting that intense and sexual.”

he didn’t know what to say.

he never meant to unknowingly upset you.

cue the wave of apologizes from saeyoung.

you calmed him pretty quick once he starting this, saying “saeyoung, it’s fine. i know you didn’t mean to”.

eventually he calmed down and thought about it seriously.

he was completely understanding.

so instead of going further, he just continued with the kissing.

but made sure to keep it strictly kissing.

he was ready to love you for his entire life, even if he never had sex with you.

and he was content with that.

#mysticmessenger #mysme #jumin han #jaehee kang #Yoosung Kim #zen #hyun ryu #saeyoung choi #mysme 707

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 49 - Ioka Kazuto's New Years Eve tattoo problem.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome again this week.

T: What is the celebratory sake for?

K: Well, this is our first recording of the new year..

J: Yes

T: Happy New Year

J: Happy New Year. By the time this is broadcast it will already be well into January though.

K: Yes, so..for good luck.

J: Ah, that would be welcome....but Im not gonna drink it.

K: Why?

J: Um, I've said this a few times before, but my resolution for 2021 is to not go so crazy when drinking alcohol, to not get too carried away.

T: Hahaha

J: I've already decided on it.

K: Don't you always say that?

J: No, no, no. Um, recently...was it on the 27th? After the live broadcast? I left afterwards with Tasai.

T: Oh, yeah.

J: We left together, we got a taxi. Then when I arrived home, it was about 2am, right? When I tried to get in my house, I didn't have my keys.

T, K: Eh?!

T: Really??

J: I didn't have my keys..what could I do? I think i actually left them somewhere before i arrived here, and I hadn't been drinking before that. But in the end, I went to a hotel in my neighborhood...like, please let me stay here, I'll pay so please let me stay. So, I woke up the next day and called the real estate agent to ask if they had a spare key..they didn't. They said they'd given all the keys to me. So, I called around a few other places, and by about lunch time I managed to get hold of a key. But I had to go and do a live radio broadcast in this kind of messed up state, so..

T: Eh?!

J: Well, I mean, it wasn't the fault of alcohol this time, but I have lost my pocket wifi before while I was drunk, and my glasses...and Im constantly telling dirty jokes while drunk...so this year..., well, I will drink alcohol, but Im not gonna go wild.

T: Hahaha

K: Thats impossible!

J, T: Hahaha

Kami: Joe san, Joe san...

J: Oh, Kami? What is it? Kami's here.

Kami: Joe, you've become a boring guy.

J, T: Hahaha

Kami: You're trying to play it safe.

J: No, no, no. Can I really carry on? Drinking and going crazy this year too?

Kami: You need to be free. Please don't hold yourself back.

J: Haha 

T: When we were going home in the taxi, you said, 'I think I've messed up'...

J: I was doing a bit of self-reflecting.

T: Your true voice slipped out.

J: I think it did.

K: What? Why, what happened again?

T: Yeah, what was it again?

J: Well, I think it was me just going a bit wild. It felt like I got carried away.

T: You felt that in yourself?

J: Well, I do, don't I? When I drink alcohol?

K: Well, yeah.

J: Kaoru, we've done a lot of events together, right?

K: Yeah, most of the time I'm like, 'Joe, calm down!'

J: And Im supposed to be the moderator!

T: You change places!

J: Right!

K: Also, he had to read out things written in Katakana and stuff, but he couldn't read the difficult words*1

J: There are a few reasons for that. After I've had a drink, I can't read difficult kanji, and also I have bad eyesight. Katakana has loads of spaces in it, right?

T: Maybe we should have let Tasai do it.

T: Yeah, I should have done the reading.

J: Kanji just turns into clumps.

K: Ok, well, today...Tasai, could you get us started?

T: Yes, this is about the big match on last New Years Eve. Its boxing news. It was the WBO super flyweight title match between Ioka Kazuto and Tanaka Kōsei. Ioka won the match, but this news deals with a slightly different aspect. Ioka's tattoos were visible during the match. The boxing commission have said this is a violation of the rules, and are considering imposing a penalty. Questions have been arising on social media like, 'Isn't this a mistake?', and, 'What about individual freedom?' Did you watch the match, Kaoru?

K: No, I didn't, but I saw it on the news.

T: Yeah. And, Ioka had actually covered his tattoos with foundation to hide them before getting in the ring, but sweating made the foundation come off.

J: I see.

T: So, its become a bit of a talking point, what to think about this.

K: This isn't the first time he's done this, right? He covered his tattoos before in other fights?

T: Yeah, to stop the foundation coming off he...

K: But foundation?...can you really hide them with foundation?

J: Haha, yeah, maybe not. They are too solid. So, he went ino the ring without foundation this time?

T: No, he had it on, but it came off with sweat.

J: Wouldn't that happen anyway?

K: If it did, that means its come off everytime up to now.

J: Right? Its not like its only come off this time. Its hard to understands why the JBC are raising this problem only now?

T: Well, its in the rules. The rules for matches are...in the rulebook, Match management section 4, conditions for boxers article 86, it says for things that make spectators feel uncomfortable, such as tattoos...if a boxer has tattoos, they must not appear in the ring.

J: Oh, thats written?

T: Yes, thats written in the rules. There have been cases in the past of boxers getting tattoos surgically removed in order to be able to compete in the ring.

J: Im not sure about this. Feeling uncomfortable just by seeing a tattoo...?

K: Regular people do though, don't they?

J: Do they?

K: Not people like us here, regular people are different.

J: Haha, of course.

K: But its Japanese people...foreigners have seen tattoos as pretty normal for quite a long time.

J: Right. Their police even have tattoos.

K: But we havn't got there in Japan yet. They are still thought of as scary. Even me, if I see someone with tattoos walk in, I don't say anything to them, but I do notice and look at them if they have tattoos.

J: Well..

K: You look though, right?

J: Well, I would think 'oh, they have tattoos'.

K: Yeh, but you would say ????*2

J: Well...

K: You would!

J: Would I? But...this is boxing, right? The spectators have come to watch people hitting each other.

K: Well, yeah, thats right.

J: For example, if a kabuki actor suddenly revealed tattoos all over their body, I have a feeling it wouldn't go down well with people who are going to see traditional arts, but if they are going to see people punching each other, would they be that bothered about tattoos?

K: Its because the rules havn't changed since a long time ago.

J: Yeah. Hmm, Im not sure about this. What's it like overseas?

T: Its totally fine overseas.

J: Its ok, right?

K: They don't mind if foreigners have them.

J: Ah, foreign boxers with tattoos are allowed to fight in Japan?

T: Yes.

K: So I think this is good. It could change how we do things *3

J: Yeah, it creates a stir, because there are quite a lot of people who know about this old rule. Um, even at events and stuff (I MC at a lot of events), some guests are instructed to wear long sleeeves when they attend. This is what Japan is like with tattoos.

T: But I think I read somwhere that the NBA also has the rule to cover tattoos. Like, they will wear armbands and stuff to cover them.

K: Even in baseball, the Giants have banned facial hair.

J: Have they?

T: The Giants have an unwritten code, let me think who had a beard....do you remember Ogasawara Michihiro/Gatz?

J: Oh yeah, the left handed player?

T: Yeah, when he joined the Giants he shaved it all off etc. That type of thing still happens, even now. Have a look next time the Giants play, none of them have facial hair.

J: I don't think foreign players will like these rules that Japanese have. This seems like its against the Constitution. It really does.

Kami: Its discrimination, right?

J: Yes, I agree.

Kami: Nishinari people are sensitive to discrimination.

J: Yeah, I mean, if they are gonna have this rule, they should ban tattoos for everyone in boxing, but to say its ok for foreign boxers but not Japanese ones.. its a bit...

Kami: Its unconstitutional. Its discrimination.

J: Yeh, I think its discrimination. But looking at some of the comments, some say that although its written in the rules, it can't be helped these days.

Kami: Its not fair though, letting Ioka get this incredible win, and then afterwards saying, actually, no.

T: Yes, thats right.

Kami: When I was younger I won at pachinko..

J: Haha, all of a sudden..

Kami: I had quite a babyface, and would get mistaken for being underage. They never said anything to me when I lost...

T: But when you handed in your tickets they told you no because you're underage?

Kami: Yeah, yeah. Even though they said nothing to me when I was losing. Its like they come to stop you after you start winning.

T: I see.

Kami: They will take all the benefits, but when it starts to get unfavorable...I sense that unfairness.

T: Ah, yeh. Well, its true that the boxing commission already knew that Ioka had tattoos. And they asked him to take part.

J: Yeah. Its not like he got the tattoos right before this match.

T: Thats right. Incidentally, he got this particular tattoo in America in 2018, September, to show resovle and determination for his comeback fight. And this time, he has also added his son's name as if to say 'lets fight together'.

J: Oh, thats a nice meaning....Sue them!

T: Sue them?

J: Yes, Tokyo Sports should sue them.

T: Why just us? haha. We should together.

J: ???*4

K: I wonder how this will turn out though.

J: Yeah. Is Ioka following the boxing commission then?

T: He is still waiting to see what they decide.

J: Ah, ok.

T: He is still waiting for their judgment.

J: So like, it will depend on the level of punishment he gets.

K: They'll just say its the rules.

T: In that case, he might just go to America, if he can't fight any matches in Japan.

J: Well, yeah.

T: I think this would be a bigger problem if it happened outside the ring. But its happened within the ring. Its still a fact that tattoos are seen as scary in this culture.

K: It seems so to me, speaking as a person who has tattoos.

J: Thats what you have felt from experience?　Exactly.

K: But you could say that he knew this when he got the tattoos. He knew they would tell him to stop.

T: Like, boxers definitely understand this.

K: He knows it, but he is still appearing in the ring, so if he has determination and resolve, its great. If he doesn't, its no surprise if he gets complaints.

J, T: I see.

J: Well, considering he did try to hide it, but the covering just came off, I wonder what will happen. Its not like he can wear clothes over it, right?

K: He could have put tape on it.

J: Oh, right, you can hide it like that too?

T: Yeah, there might be something like skin coloured tape.

J: Kami, can we have a last word from you on this?

Kami: Well, whatever the rules, making them only apply to Japanese is strange, right?

J: Well, yes, thats true. We'll have to keep a look out for what happens with this from now on.

K: Well, yeh.

T: To see how it develops, yeh.

K: Yeah. Kami seemed a bit lacking in vitality today, didn't he?

J: Yeah, he seems down. Kami, did something happen to you at new year time?

Kami: No, no, Im fine! Don't I sound it?

K: You sound like you are lacking a bit of punch.

J: With it being boxing, you'd expect him to have more 'punch'.

K: He just seemed a bit...regular.

J: Yeah.

Kami: Regular? haha.

K: He's laughing, haha.

T, J: Haha

J: The staff are making me laugh.

K: Ok, shall we finish here for today?

J: Yes

K: Ok, please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1, 3 Not sure this is right.

*2, 4 Couldn't make out

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#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫