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#and now my parents are fighting
nerdpoe · 6 months
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When Danny decides to reincarnate, centuries after his adventures, he chooses a random Dimension of Heroes and Villains.
He's expecting adventure! Heroics! A life worth bragging about in the Afterlife!
He wakes up in a tube, staring down at surprised teen heroes as they release him and another person.
Later, he finds out that he's a clone of Batman and Superman, and the other clone is of Superman and Lex Luthor.
He came into this world expecting adventures, not a weird custody battle about him and his brother (because that's what Conner is) between two A-List superheroes.
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hailsatanacab · 6 months
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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somnolent-scout · 2 years
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gods please help me
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leadandblood · 2 months
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Okay but is nobody gonna talk about "my father drank gin" and "put a bullet through my head before i drink gin" like is nobody going absolutely insane over that-
Well i am and im gonna talk about it.
The tragedy of children picking up drinking because they saw it in their parents and so it's much easier to fall into it. And their brain justifying being drunk on something else, as a defence mechanism, against feeling just as bad as their parent. They're drinking something else, so they can't be exactly like them right? But in reality it's often just as bad and sometimes even worse.
This is also genius because all you get is two innocent lines and that's all it takes for you to realise Crozier's past with alcoholism.
"my father drank gin" could just be a thing you say during a toast. "aah, my father loved gin, it's nice remembering things about him" but no. Here it's said so bitterly and hatefully, you know for a fact he drank a lot and Crozier HATED that about him. We can also assume he's dead from something alcohol induced.
And then the other line "put a bullet through my head before i drink gin" - despite what the words actually say - is also something you could say as a joke, when your friend offers you gin, you know. "you want me to drink WHAT??" Sort of thing. But here you kind of feel like... He means it. It's said with so much resentment and stubborness, he might as well mean it literally. "Kill me before i become my father." Because Crozier hated him so much he wants to become nothing like him. Even when it's through impressive mental gymnastics.
It's just agony to think about-
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scatterbrainedbot · 4 months
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Hello :D
You're so cool
Anyway have you thought that in your rat sons au Splinter might outlive the boys?
You're very cool :D love your stuff dude
(tw for some blood, light gore, implied overdose (kinda??))
hi copper!!! this is a fantastic question!
so obviously typical irl rats have far shorter lifespans than the average irl tortoise. according to google (yes, be awed by my spectacularly in-depth wealth of research) the average pet rat lives between 2-4 years ish, and the oldest on record lived to be about 7. meanwhile, an African spurred tortoise (Splinter's species) averages more around a 50ish year lifespan in captivity, tho is suspected to possibly exceed 75 or more in the wild.
Now, the mutation does give us a lot of wiggle room for playing with these numbers. For the rat sons boys, id say their natural lifespan probably clocks in at about 45-55 years old? definitely not old by human standards, but not young young either. (though, its also important to note that the boys were exposed to the mutagen just days after being born.)
For Splinter, meanwhile, aging is slightly more complicated. He lived the vast majority of his life as a regular normal African spurred tortoise (well, non-mutated at least. there were perhaps some shenanigans of a more mystical variety going on before he was mutated, but thats a separate matter) He was about 70ish i think? when the boys were born and they were all exposed to the mutagen. so he is already distinctly an old man turtle papa. id guess he'd probably still have another eh lets say 25-30 years after his mutation. he could probably push it a little farther even with some mystic nonsense, but when push comes to shove id say his 'natural' post-mutation lifespan would put his death like a solid decade or two before his sons.
of course, the tricky part of the matter is that theres no way for Splinter to know any of this. theres no way for him to know how the mutation affected them all, or if it even affected them all in the same way. especially since the boys dont show many physical signs of mutation for the first few years, and just kinda look like normal rats, (albeit with a more human sort of intelligence) — what sort of health standard do you hold them to? what if they simply dont show external signs of sickness or old age anymore? how do you actually know if something is wrong?
for a while there Splinter is very worried that one of his babies will just essentially reach the end of their normal rat lifespan, fall and not get up again.
so mostly, he just tries to live in the moment, enjoying whatever time he does have with his little ones, taking each day as a gift <3
still,
that fear
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never
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really
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goes
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away.....
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nattikay · 5 months
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friendly reminder that Neteyam is a well-adjusted kid who has a good relationship with his parents, that he tries his darnedest to be a good warrior because he genuinely looks up to his dad and wants to be like him, and that the idea that Jake and Neytiri are "forcing" him to be perfect, that they "stole his childhood" or that he's "not allowed" to be a kid, etc. are all pure fanfiction with little to no evidence in canon thanks bye
#avatar#avatar 2#neteyam#given how hesitant Jake is to let Neteyam fight I can absolutely GUARANTEE you that there was almost certainly NEVER an interaction...#...in which Neteyam said ''hey Mom and Dad I'm gonna go hang out with Lo'ak and Kiri now''#and Jake and Neytiri reply ''no son you're too old for such childish things you must come do Adult Tasks that you secretly hate instead#so you can be the Perfect Future Olo'eyktan™"#THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN#AND IT'S NOT “IMPLIED” TO HAVE HAPPENED EITHER#Y'ALL MADE THAT UP IN YOUR HEADS#along with the idea that Neteyam secretly hates his lot in life and is internally yearning to be A Normal Kid™#guys Neteyam WANTS to be a warrior he WANTS follow in Jake's footsteps he strives so hard because HE *WANTS* TO OF HIS OWN ACCORD#there is absolutely d i d d l y s q u a t that suggests this path is being “forced” on him#or that he is being secretly ~crushed under the pressure~ and Just Wants to Be Free or w/e#you. made. that. up.#it's not a canon aspect of his character#and. look. if you wanna explore the idea of him being ''crushed under pressure'' in a fanfic#because you find it interesting or it helps you work through your own stuff then hey be my guest#but once you start saying stuff like#''oh i feel so bad for [canon] Neteyam because he died before he could break free of his parents' toxic influence''#Shut Up™#neteyam's parents were not a toxic influence; he was never forced into being something he didn't want to be; his childhood was not “stolen”#he did not have anything to “break free” of. you are injecting extra layers of tragedy that aren't actually there#you are giving yourself extra grief for things that were never canon#stahp#feel free to write whatever you want in fanfiction but please i am begging you#to be aware of which ideas are actually present in the movie vs. which ones are just fanfiction
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vegaseatsass · 2 months
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DFF ep9 spoilers
I love gay revenge, I LOVE gay revenge, I love gay REVENGE, I love GAY revenge, HOWEVER
I also love brothers with an uncrossable chasm between them whose parents compare them who lose each other and their entire family along the way... guess what I'm saying is, I love guilty golden boy brother revenge, too
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gretahayes · 8 months
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there's a world out there where haiti never happens, and tim's parents get their divorce but are both allergic to spending any time with their son still and keep traveling, so in a few arcs and a series of comic events, tim gets left in the primary custody of That Nice Bruce Wayne Guy, Isn't It Great He's Always There To Look After Tim When Disaster Strikes And They're Not Around? while they globetrot and occasionally visit. and it's so funny to me.
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koiranliha · 5 months
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Tomorrow is another day.
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kraviolis · 11 months
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you ever think about how luz is a human who for her whole life has wanted more than anything to learn how to be magic
but then vee is magic, it's literally her life force, but she has wanted more than anything to just be a normal human girl
and hunter, caught in between the two of them because he is not magic and he is not human but he wants more than anything to learn how to be both
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Straight up had a dream last night that DC revealed that Bart and Kon were dating and it was in the WILDEST FUCKING WAY.
K, so picture this: Clark needs someone to fly around disguised as him for a plan. So Clark goes through the options in his head: Bruce can't fly, MM is off world, Jon is too much of a twink to be believable, Kara is blonde, Kon is.... Perfect! With a person in mind who would be perfect for his plan, Clark flies off to find Kon.
Cut to Judy Garrick zipping around the Garrick's house. Joan is quietly scrapbooking at the kitchen table and Judy is bored out of her mind. Judy asks Joan if there is anything she can do because she is so unbelievably bored.
Joan responds, very calmly, that she can hear "your brother's boyfriend touching down in the backyard, so why don't you go ask him?"
Judy's face jumps from emotion to emotion as three things are revealed at once. 1) Joan considers Bart to be a son and thus, Judy's brother, 2) Judy's new brother is not straight and 3) Bart has a boyfriend who is in the backyard.
So Judy immediately runs to the backyard and is stunned to bump into Clark (who was there looking for Kon) and then the dream continued on with the two of them hunting down Bart&Kon (who were just at school being normal goddammit!!!) but the entire time Judy is secretly out for blood because she thinks that Joan was referring to Clark and that this adult man is trying to date her new little brother and Judy keeps trying to kill him but it doesn't work because Clark is Kryptonian (and oblivious to the attempted homicides).
Anyway, wild dream all around.
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thejadecount · 1 year
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So I recently just got into Miles x Mikey (Shellshocked my beloved) and I just can’t help but to imagine Mikey getting ahold of a cloaking brooch and meeting Miles’ parents for the first time.
Rio: You can stay for the night if you li—
Jefferson: YOU CAN STAY FOREVER!
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totallynottinsel · 1 year
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Clinically insane
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tloubraininfection · 1 year
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I`ve been rewatching the car scene from episode 4 and there`s that moment just after “Alone And Forsaken” starts to play when Joels face changes completely. There is something so soft about this expression, he`s not quite smiling, but his face relaxes, he closes his eyes and he looks like he got lost in a memory. And you can see it’s a good one, a safe one. To me that would suggest that it was something from way before.
Because thats a face of a person that got reminded of something from his childhood. Something half-forgotten until someone brings it up and you remember it as vividly as if it was yesterday. Every texture, every sound and every smell. And you can’t help, but smile, cause it was so long ego, but also not really, you`re still the same person. And music is like magic, it`s the only time machine we have, works every time!
And that got me thinking! If this music is from before Joel`s time, is it possible it`s something his father used to listen to? His favorite road trip music maybe? And Joel was the one in the backseat, just like Ellie is now, going crazy from boredom, asking a million questions, waving at the passing cars or making crazy faces and then hiding? And then when Tommy was old enough was it both of them playing or fighting and driving their father mad in a process?
It breaks my heart in the best way because this is just the beginning of Joels journey and hes changed so much already, to the point hes able to access this small part of himself and it makes him feel soft, even if just for a second.  Makes him think about a time everything was simpler, sweeter, kinder? Somehow those memories survived all those years completely unscathed, as if they`ve existed in a protective bubble untouched by anything that came after. They`ve formed their own little universe where Joel`s small hands knew nothing of violence or survival yet, just toys and ice cream cones. Nothing of the nightmares to come, just a moving car, his dad`s favorite song and his little brother annoying the hell out of him. A small moment preserved forever on the Hank Williams cassette tape.
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vqlisms · 7 months
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totally not thinking about gillion and chip seeing ollie and his mom reunite. chip seeing a relationship he’s never had and wondering if his mom (loved him more?) (was still alive?) (would even care if she knew of him?) would’ve loved him as much as she clearly loves ollie. wonders if he would’ve turned out different if he had a home and a family to return to like ollie. gillion seeing a relationship he’s lost and wondering if his own mother (even remembers him?) (his adoptive or prophetic “mother”?) (does he even have any in the first place?) would hold him as tight as she holds ollie when she sees him alive and safe. wonders if his own parents would feel that same pride and relief if it was him and not the chosen that returned.
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bwabbitv3s · 7 months
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Good Godfather Vlad AU - Part 5
You are not Alone
Link to Index, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.
Oh no, no, no, no, no. This can’t be true. This is not happening. He can’t, not here, not now, how is this possible? The bottom drops out of his stomach as it all comes into glaring clarity. The broken dishes, glasses, school lab equipment, all happening out of nowhere. The sudden anxiety, sleeping issues, and odd behaviour they had mentioned. The talk of having to deal with ghosts and avoidance of talking about the ghost hunting of his parents. 
He is so stupid, and it is so oblivious looking back. Those flushes of warmth all this week while catching up with his friends were not just psychological. It was his ghost sense picking up the presence of another ghost. That twitch he had been seeing all day from Danny must be his picking up on him. Wait, no, something is still not adding up. What about the exposure and recovery?
There was no mention of an accident by his parents. No overflow or explosion when it turned on that could have infected Danny. Not that they have mentioned much about the portal due to the delicate nature of his past with them. Danny also does not look like he is recovering or hiding a recovery either. Vlad spent nearly a year in the hospital after his accident with a small proto portal. He was damn lucky that his powers had not begun to show in earnest until the very end of his stay. So how could Danny appear fine yet show signs of having ghost powers?
How could this be happening? What is he is wrong and a ghost is puppeting Danny around in some sick twisted way to torture him. The ghosts that leave the realms are rarely anything but malicious and power hungry. Always ready to attack any weakness he showed in his search for help. This is a new low. Getting his hopes up of not being alone after starting to repair his old friendships. Then to tear it all apart by attacking him using the son of his friends. Forcing him to reveal his secret to them and make it seem like he is a monster. 
No, slow down, breath in for four, exhale seven. Vlad takes a few calming breaths to get the mounting panic under control. Don’t jump to conclusions. Remember what the therapist said. He can do this, just keep breathing and it will help. Stop letting your thoughts run ahead of you and take the first step to find out what is happening, not what you think. First he needs to know for sure of the source of the ghost powers he has been sensing.
“Danny, why don’t we sit down for a bit. The AC over here is a bit strong since they are getting ready for the party. I have always found they turn it up too high.” Vlad asks. 
Danny still looks spooked as he scans the small crowd that had trickled into the gym. It is almost effortless to direct him towards an out of the way table. One hand gently placed on the boy's shoulder. It clicks into place as the thrum of another ghost is blatantly obvious with the contact. He focuses a bit more and can feel that undercurrent of power thrumming with Danny. It feels a part of him like the purr of a cat. Not at all like the trapped static feeling of a ghost overshadowing another. Vlad’s mind races at this new revelation.
The tiredness at the beginning of the trip when he first met Danny makes more sense now. He only had to deal with a few ghosts over the years. Natural portals are rare and most ghosts seem reluctant to go through them. You never know just how long they will be open for and could end up trapped on the wrong side even if you are careful. Those ghosts that did leave them tended to be either very weak or malicious with power to spare the risk. 
He is glad none he ran into fell into the later category until after his own powers were under control. In the beginning it was difficult enough to redirect blob ghosts. From what accounts of recent events of ghost attacks the ghosts Danny had been exposed to were much closer to the powerful and dangerous side. Ghosts that knew that they won’t be trapped in the mortal world with a stable portal to retreat to would not be so conservative in their attacks. 
Just what had Danny had to deal with seemingly on his own? He knows that neither of his parents could know of it. Jack would never be able to keep it a secret from him. Maddie would have show up in person to his home, his feelings be damned, if it was possible he could have a fraction of a clue about helping her son. Just how to approach this without having Danny bolt.  
“Danny, why don’t you sit down. You look a little pale. Have you had anything to eat since this morning?” Vlad asks. 
He gets no answer from Danny and begins to worry. He still seems overwhelmed with searching for some kind of threat. Can he not tell that Vlad is where the ghost feeling is coming from? He can’t remember how long it took him to get more than a generalized sense. He is going to have to go searching for his old notes. 
Danny is able to be coaxed into sitting, despite the obvious anxiety rolling off him, but does not seem to actually hear him. He sits with his back to the wall and facing towards the exits, keeping an eye on his parents. Who have been chatting at the other end of the room with some old classmates. Vlad notices Danny breathing a little fast and the slow self soothing rubbing of his arms has started. He needs to break whatever train of though Danny is stuck in now before it escalates. 
“Danny, everything is okay.” Vlad says softly. 
How does one even begin to try and ask let alone explain this? I know what you are going through as the accident when I last saw your parents also changed me into part ghost is crazy. How do you even start to explain that? Vlad clears his throat and tried to prompt Danny again. 
“What are you looking for?” Vlad tries asking.  
He still is not getting a response from Danny who still is scanning the room looking for some kind of threat he expects to be right there. Just how bad are they ghosts the boy has been dealing with? How often has he sensed something and been unable to find the threat before being attacked? It was bad for himself as a grown man, how much harder it must be as a teenager would be a nightmare.  
“Breath in for four, exhale seven.” Vlad tries.
He can see Danny try a stuttered breath in and out. The crowd that had been trickling in the gym is loud but Vlad can hear it when the wheezing breaths start to sound better. Danny is still looking for threats as he scans the crowd, eyes always going back to his parents. Have his parents as ghost hunters ever been involved? That thought strikes him cold. Later, he can deal with the thought of his old friends being ghost hunters and their son, and himself, being part ghost later. After he helps bring Danny back into the now and calmed down. Vlad steps in front of Danny to block his view of them. Grabbing a chair so he can sit down while still blocking the room from view without having to loom at the boy.Vlad gathers his courage and says something he never thought he would say. 
“There is no other ghost hiding, it is me. I am the ghost you can feel.” Vlad bites out with as much confidence he can muster. 
Danny’s head jerks to stare at him. His eyes flickering neon green. Finally seeming to notice they are no longer standing but sitting at a quiet table. 
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Danny’s voice cracks.Note quite able to mask it as uncertainty instead of fear. 
“You are trying to find the other ghost you can sense.” Vlad says. 
He allows his eyes to flash the bright red from his other form. Letting just a little bit of his ghostly nature come forwards. Danny tenses up immediately at that. The boy bristles in that inhuman way only ghosts can as emotions change the physical body to match. The eyes are always first with them glowing a faint neon green instead of flickering between when he had been uncertain and trying to hide it. The facial features are next sharpening as teeth become fangs to hiss out a warning to Vlad. 
“Who are you and what are you doing to Vlad?” Danny angrily growls at Vlad.
For a moment Vlad is so ver touched that despite only having started to get to know him, Danny is jumping to help him. A little bit of his core warms at that thought. 
“I am not being overshadowed. The accident with the portal had a few permanent changes that did not show up until after I got out of the hospital.” Vlad said. 
He could tell Danny was not believing a word he was saying and why should he? After all, from what little he could gather over the years they were almost impossible. It was what he had jumped to also. Yet, the moment the accident with the portal was brought up  Vlad could see the change. That sharp inhale and holding of breath as it struck a chord. 
“Give it a go. Reach in and you will not find another in this body. It is my own.” Vlad says as he opens his arms. 
He knows that Danny will not believe him without proof. He had not believed it without proof. It is luckily that in this instance proving he is not being overshadowed is easy to provide. 
“Go on. It will take just a moment to prove that I am telling the truth.” Vlad encourages. 
It is not hard to see the conflict on Danny’s face. Try it and he could just be setting him up to an attack at close range. The suspicion of a potential trap warring with the glimmer of hope. Darting quickly the Danny takes a step forwards out of the chair and rached for Vlad. His arm turns translucent as it reaches towards and then into Vlad’s chest. It passes through up to the wrist easily before Danny stumbles unexpecting the lack of resistance before yanking his hand out. 
“How?” Danny breathlessly asks. 
“Going by the lack of a hospital stay, likely much slower and drawn out than your own accident with a portal.” Vlad answers. 
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