#and of course i can’t say i heard it from twitter because then it’s unreliable

[dukeofonions]

Sensing a pattern thanks to the critical fans' asks... I'm a professional producer who's attempted on numerous occasions (unsuccessfully) to secure Thomas for a part in a Broadway-bound musical. TL;DR: How he and his team -- not just friends, but "pros" -- "run their railroad" confuses the hell out of us, and is probably the biggest obstacle to his getting anywhere besides YouTube. Frankly, we now wonder if this is by design and not just typical lack of experience winning the race, as it were...

(Sorry it took so long to respond work has been killing me the past few days.)

Longer Version (1/?): We've been working on this musical for just over a decade, and after we discovered Thomas's long-form content and the singles he's released, we thought he was a good fit for it. Without going into detail, the show's always been kind of a long shot, for many reasons, but we (still) think it'd be a great showcase for his brand of talent. So we decided to approach him and to gauge his interest, since he'd discussed Broadway dreams before. And there, our troubles began...

(2/?) So, five years ago, we approached Thomas through his then-management, Reboot the People, a company that managed a *lot* of content creators back then. (Their remains still exist on Twitter @RTPfamily.) They may have been a little out of their depth when they heard our pitch, and wisely looped in his agent at the time, Ty Flynn at UTA, from whom we heard... nothing. Okay, maybe it wasn't his thing; we had other projects to pursue and we moved on but... we still kept an eye on his content.

(4/?) When we returned to the project a couple years later, Thomas was still a favorite for the part for which we had him in mind, and building a much bigger audience than before, so we decided to reach out again. The business fawsterdog email address, as I'm sure fans have discovered by now, is useless. No one there ever got back to us. More than that, when we tried to learn who was managing him now (at times pleading on Twitter and during streams for info), we kept hitting dead ends.

(5/?) We finally managed to obtain a lead when we watched the "NO ADDED SUGAR for a MONTH!" video, and someone described as Thomas's manager actually appeared on camera, Matt Hogen, the president of Direct Artist Management. Further Googling revealed Matt had apparently been his manager as far back as 2013, way earlier than we'd been directed to Reboot The People for business inquiries. To say this runaround was confusing as hell, *even for show business*, is the understatement to end them all!!!

(6/6) At that point, after all that confusion, we just gave up!! If we have to chase someone's representation to the ends of the earth, only to find out there was one person we should have been talking to the whole time, it's probably more convoluted behind the scenes, and we don't need that extra stress in our lives. Watching the recent storms unfold, and wondering how true to life the "Putting Others First" video is, we can only assume he likes the *idea* of career more than really having one...

(I lied, 7/7) Bottom line: he presents a picture of unreliability and a lack of professionalism both to his fans and to industry people, and -- assuming there's *any* autobiographical truth to Sanders Sides content -- it may be because he's deliberately not taking this seriously. If losing out on big opportunities is the price he pays for keeping his mental health and well being in check, that's fine. But it's not how you succeed in this business... in any business, really. I wish him the best...

Wow, that is a lot.

Well for starters (and I hope you don't take this the wrong way) I am the tiniest bit skeptical about this story being true. I mean I can definitely see it happening giving Thomas and the team's track record, but there are just a few things that make me hesitate.

For one thing I'm surprised that a professional producer found their way onto my blog (which I try to keep out of the open) and took the time to read through some asks then send an ask of their own. Not that it's impossible of course, because here you are. But you know anyone can claim to be anyone so I hope you don't mind my skepticism here.

And admittedly I'm not entirely sure how the producing world works along with agents, especially when it comes to getting someone cast for your show. I can't see Thomas turning an opportunity down like that unless he just wasn't interested or never knew about it.

Which, honestly, if you did try getting into contact with his agent and he was told about it and wasn't interested then ya know, the least they could do was tell you so you could start looking for someone else.

I did also find the Twitter account for Reboot The People and yeah, it's long since abandoned and I'm wondering how you even got directed there in the first place when he had a manager already (if I'm understanding the time line right)

I do kinda question the whole asking for answers in streams bit (since Thomas rarely if ever does public live streams and I don't think he did much back then the only streams he does consistently now are for patreons) and he never leaves them up anyway so it's not like I could go back and look through the chats (not that I would because I ain't got time for that) but again, it's not impossible for that to have happened. Just a tiny detail my brain got hooked on.

Even if I'm still somewhat doubtful about your story (again please don't take it the wrong way I just like to be sure before I 100% believe something) I do agree about Thomas and the team's lack of professionalism, just look at the Story Time Madlibs situation, and they continue to make decisions (especially within the patreon) that just continue to baffle me.

I mean at the end of the day no one knows what's going on behind the scenes. And as it stands Thomas has found enough success with YouTube where he's stable enough to make it his full time job and can go months or even a year without posting a video.

But he even brings this point up in one of his Sanders Sides videos that YouTube isn't a stable job, and you never know when everything can suddenly flip and before ya know it the job ain't as stable anymore, and at that point you've gotta have some kinda back up plan for if things go south.

Because eventually (and I've already seen it happening) people will just get bored without new content or just grow out of it and they'll move on. Even if they've got nothing against the creator, that's just what happens. Some will stick around but even then no one's bound to last forever. Especially when there's always new stuff to be found.

But hey, he's good where he's at for now so I guess one might as well enjoy it while they can. I would like to see him succeed in actually securing a bigger role (whether in a film, Broadway, or even a TV show) because I think he'd do really well and he has been contacted by Disney before to be in one of their shows so who knows?

#dukeofasks #long post #maybe its just a matter of time #but then again if no one can ever get ahold of the guy i can't see that happening any time soo #soon #is what i meant #i aint typing all that again im on mobile

[twilight-deviant]

So I never saw the Timeless movie but enjoyed your feedback on the show while it was in progress and agreed with you much of the time-- is the movie worth watching ? I'm scared it's going to be rushed, sloppy, and ly@tt garbage

First of all, thank you for valuing my opinion enough to ask. I haven’t rambled about Timeless in awhile, but I’m flattered you enjoyed and remembered my feedback when I did. ♥

Sadly, I have to report that Timeless finale is a movie disliked by Garcy fans, Riya fans, and gen fans alike. Pretty much the only way to like it is if you’re the target audience: Lucy/Wyatt shippers. Or maybe if you’re a very, very casual fan.

Full disclosure: I have not actually watched the Timeless movie. Like you, I feared it would abandon everything Timeless stood for, everything we loved, to waste its last moments on Lucy/Wyatt fan service. Aaaaaand I was right. Good call me on not watching it live. It might have broken my heart. I got the information later through friends and research. And tbh, hearing everything second-hand was actually hilarious. Yes, it was upsetting, but the writing is SO BAD, I actually laughed. Out loud. I may have cried laughing. It’s just… so bad. XD

I spent months dreading a worst case scenario for the movie, and when the time came, it was every bit that. (And then some? Somehow?) But when it got here, all of my fears turned to hilarity. I was RELIEVED. After months of being afraid, I finally felt free. I thought “This is what I was afraid of?” Because toxic shippers in the fandom got everything they wanted, just the way they wanted, but it is HORRIBLE! Because what they wanted was BAD. It watches just like the badly written fanfiction they demanded. Which is ALL this movie is: badly written fanfiction.

To quote Claudia Doumit when she read the script: “It feels like a fan wrote the movie.” Perhaps she means that in a positive way, but if a professional is writing “like a fan,” spoiler alert, it’s never a positive thing. It’s a “basic” thing.

Timeless movie is SO BAD that it is the least rewatched episode of all Timeless. Delayed returns on it are borderline embarrassing. Few people except Lucy/Wyatt shippers wanted to subject themselves to it a second time. Not to mention that support for Timeless and a third renewal fell into steep decline after the premiere. It seems not many people want more if this is the “more” we might have to look forward to.

imo, Future television writers should study this movie for direct examples of what NOT to do. It’s every worst case scenario, presented to you at breakneck speed. You barely have time to get over one absurdity before the next one hits. Not gonna lie. I’ll give kudos where due. I am legitimately IMPRESSED that writing managed to get every single thing wrong. Do you know how statistically impossible that is?!?!

Timeless movie really sort of took all the negatives, low points, disproportionate focus on romance, and bad writing of S2 and ran with them. That’s what it is. Concentrated S2, minus any good parts.

Basically, if you are a fan of Flynn, Lucy, Rufus, Jiya, Jessica, Emma, Connor, Denise, good writing, feminism, no plotholes, Riya, Garcy, or TIMELESS, please do not watch the Timeless movie. Save yourself. If your first (only?) priority is Wyatt and Lucy/Wyatt, go right ahead. It was made just (only?) for you.

Though obviously, I can’t/won’t stop you from watching. You may still want to form your own opinion, and if so, you have my full support. I hope that you find something appealing to make it worth your time. I especially hope that if you don’t, it doesn’t ruin Timeless for you, as it has other people. I still may watch it myself one day. I may. But not for entertainment purposes. Really just to mock it from a more informed standpoint. I’ve considered live-blogging the event. lol.

As is though, I basically know the entire movie through aforementioned friends and research. And I will summarize below the cut on the ways this movie failed Timeless and its fans. (PS: This is by no means everything. There’s just SO MUCH and I got tiiiired thinking about this monstrosity! Anyone is free to add on whatever I didn’t cover.)

[Spoilers]

Future Lucy gives the journal to Wyatt, the writer’s attempt to take something that has always been Flynn/Lucy’s thing and make it a L/W thing. (Somehow, we’re supposed to ignore that this Lucy already would have given her journal to Flynn in 2014. Conveniently, illogically, she has it again. So she can give it to Wyatt.)

Future Wyatt announces that Jessica was lying about being pregnant. Right out the gate. Great. Now, they get to kill her. Don’t worry, writing will strip away her entire character first so we don’t feel guilty when an “evil Rittenhouse agent” dies. It’s fine to kill a woman who was brainwashed from childhood, but let’s not kill a baby. We’ll just erase it instead. That’s different because reasons.

Writing introduces a new stipulation that people can coexist with time travel, but staying too long will kill them. This will come in handy later.

Also the new, updated Lifeboat will conveniently be able to do whatever the plot needs. Coexist? Sure. Autopilot? Suuuuure. Able to jump multiple times on one charge as if it had a nuclear core like the Mothership? Why not?!

If you thought Rittenhouse wasn’t scary anymore in S2, well hold onto this writer’s beer. Gone is any intimidation or purpose they once stood for. Now that Emma is running things, all that matters is stealing art and money from the past. Caution: Never go full two-dimensional evil.

Wyatt decides Jessica has to die and he’s the one who has to do it. But after half an argument from the team, he gives in and agrees not to. FLYNN will clean up Wyatt’s mess instead! Because suddenly, all that matters is he loves Lucy. Not his family. Not stopping Rittenhouse. No, he has to do this so that Lucy can be with Wyatt and Rufus can be alive.

Flynn tells Lucy that the journal can be unreliable. Despite this, he goes to 2012 and dooms himself because he believes, without a doubt, that Lucy’s heart will always belong to Wyatt, something he, ya know, got from the journal. And that neeeeeever changes. I mean, some guy said it was unreliable, but his name escapes me right now.

When 1x06 first aired and we heard the story of how Jessica died and how it was very much Wyatt’s fault, painting him in a negative light, I thought to myself (almost three years ago), “Wow. If we ever get a flashback of that night, writing is going to retcon all of that so hard so that it doesn’t look like Wyatt’s fault.” And lo! It’s Jessica’s fault now. She made Wyatt get jealous on purpose. She made him drink too much. She MADE HIM let her out of the car, per text orders of Rittenhouse agent. Poor Wyatt, what a victim. (Periodic reminder that Timeless hates women.)

Writing in the scene with Jessica’s death is so bad that we’re actually left with no alternative BUT to believe Wyatt was the original killer that night. Rittenhouse agent tells Jessica to get out of the car. This saves her life. No other person is seen on this road (save Flynn later) that could be the killer. And what’s the other course (the original timeline)? Without instruction, Jessica would have stayed in the car. And died. Wow, I can’t believe Wyatt killed Jessica in a drunken, jealous rage, but also I can. Also also writing just told us he did. If Rittenhouse wanted to make sure she was okay, they would tell her to stay in the car with her soldier husband, no matter what. That would save her. But what do they do instead? Hmmmm…….

Flynn kills Jessica and hurries to the Lifeboat, feeling the effects of coexistence taking affect. Set course for any time but this one, am I right? Wrong. Nah, better just die. Flynn sends the Lifeboat back to 1848 for the team and stays in 2012 so he can see his family one last time and then die. Because true character development is letting your five-year-old die violently two weeks before Christmas when you still have the life and power to prevent it.

Why does all of our correspondence end the same? Reply, reply, and then *crickets* Notice me, senpai. TToTT

For some reason (I mean, I know the reason. It’s bad writing by an idiot), dead Flynn’s fingerprints do not pull up when police find a John Doe on the beach. Despite the fact that he worked with the NSA and his prints would be on file.

I can’t with this woman:

Anywaaaaaaay, Rufus returns in a way that breaks all time travel rules thus far established in the show. Even though the team was traveling in 1848 with Flynn, suddenly it’s reset so that Rufus was there the entire time. Which, even if writing wants to claim that’s SOMEHOW possible, is still illogical because to overwrite that timeline, the characters’ memories would have also been overwritten. However, they remain perfectly intact with everyone remembering Rufus died. (Except Rufus, of course.)

Flynn dies because he stayed in the past too long. The writer would then go on twitter and pretend the matter was out of her hands, even though she’s the one who set the condition. She WROTE the rule that killed him, SO she could kill him. (This was previously not going to be a condition on coexisting time travel. Source: Interviews in which it was suggested that had Timeless been renewed for S3, Future Lucy and Wyatt may have stuck around for a few episodes.)

Arika would also say on twitter that, in her opinion, Flynn didn’t deserve a happy ending, to the uproar of many.

Writing tries to claim that Flynn was always the person who killed Jessica in 2012. Deer lord at the plotholes.

And the holes keep comin and they don’t stop comin. ♫

It’s Christmas now. For some reason. When the team returns to the bunker, there are Christmas decorations everywhere and we’re told that it’s Christmas in present day. Even though it was May yesterday.

There are more than a dozen ways to save Flynn at this point, but Arika doesn’t like him and just wants Lucy/Wyatt to bang. So you can bet none of them will be used. Also because she’s an idiot, the woman claimed on twitter that Flynn can’t possibly be brought back because he died while time traveling. Uh-huh. First off, what? He absolutely can be saved. Secondly, tell me how Rufus died again?

The characters acknowledge Flynn for a minute (in a toast give by WYATT, of all people) before promptly forgetting he ever existed until the end of the movie. When they need him again.

When Rufus wants to get intimate, Jiya tells him that she suffered some form of abuse while stranded in the past. That’s it. We will never talk about this again. Forget it ever happened. They brought it up just to scar Jiya even further and then ignore it. Anyone who tells you Timeless loves women is lying. Timeless wants to torture and torment women. FOR NO REASON!

Emma is the only person who cares Jessica is now dead. Because it sure as shirt wasn’t going to be her husband who like two days ago was desperately trying to get her to come home to her “family.” (Remember kids, women are just baby makers. If there’s not a baby in there, she’s garbage, and a minute spent mourning is a minute you’re not banging the next lady.) Emma plots revenge on the team, and honestly, by this point, I say let her do it. They’re horrible people.

Lucy boldly says she won’t be Wyatt’s second choice. So she can forget she said it in 10 minutes, when she’s suddenly fine with it.

Rufus is alive again, but all of his memories after 2x03 are conveniently erased. In his timeline, Lucy/Wyatt have been together this whole time, and he’s their biggest fan. He actually, canonically, verbally says that he’s “Team L/yatt.” That’s great because otherwise we’re left with a Rufus whose last words on the subject are:

“You are so worried about your stupid Lucy-Jessica soap opera that you forgot that there are other people here. Who matter to each other. Who love each other. If anything happens to her, Wyatt… I don’t think I can ever forgive you.”

Yeah, we can’t use that in the Lucy/Wyatt movie. Better erase the black man’s memory since he’s no longer serving his purpose: head cheerleader of the white couple!

Because Rufus’s memories are gone, all S2 development in the Riya relationship is gone with it. Damaging them even more after Jiya spent 3 years in the past (becoming hardened and almost a different person) and then watched him die. Don’t worry, writing will address none of this.

Rufus compares Lucy/Wyatt to Aragorn/Arwen. As a Tolkien nerd, I’ll throw down over this alone. IN WHAT WAY?!

There’s a pregnant woman in labor because leave no cliche unturned. Wyatt delivers the baby because what did I just say about cliches.

Lucy’s hormones go all a-twitter when she sees Wyatt holding said baby. Outside? In weather they admitted earlier is deathly freezing? (I mean, the mother might want to hold her own baby, but no. She has to get in line. Lucy absolutely HAS to have an epiphany that she needs Wyatt’s babies.)

Lucy decides that since Wyatt’s mistreatment of her was technically from another timeline, she can let go off all self-respect and tell herself he didn’t mean it. Also almost everyone else is dead or has their memories erased, so only they will know. Now Lucy can be with Wyatt and no one will judge her? Yay?

Despite Emma’s big speech in 2x10 about abandoning the pillars of “old Rittenhouse” and striking out on her own, she still backs down immediately when Denise makes Benjamin Cahill tell her to knock it off and surrender.

Emma dies at the hands of some deus ex machina random sniper. Letting us know the writer could no longer pretend she cared about any of this and just wanted to make Lucy/Wyatt bang. Are they banging yet? Bang now! Will this convenient and corny mistletoe move things along? Are they banging yet?

So Denise saves the day. In the most anti-climatic way. Meaning Rufus was never actually necessary and could have stayed dead. Actually, none of the team was necessary. Nothing in these episodes was necessary. All it took to end Rittenhouse was Denise and Ben. Roll credits.

Lucy decides NOT to save her sister Amy. Even though it’s what she has been fighting for since episode 2. Her reasoning? She says that trying to save the people they love has negative effects. (Let’s get one last jab at dead Flynn by saying, “Look at all the awful things that Flynn did in the name of saving his family.”) This is said in spite of the fact that Amy is SUPPOSED to be alive, and leaving her erased IS an alternate timeline, carrying the potential of being more catastrophic than SAVING HER and setting the events right.

PS: While in the past, Lucy JUST SAID, “What’s the point of saving history if we don’t save the people in it?” And then saved a stranger that was supposed to die. Writing for this movie does not care about consistency, only what’s relevant in the moment. And clearly the writer wanted Amy to stay dead.

Leaving Amy dead creates this lovely paradox:

Writer is too ignorant in time travel to understand that current timeline is erased, Lucy is now with Noah, and that is our endgame. Movie proceeds with Lucy/Wyatt ending.

The Mothership is dismantled for no reason. So now the team is stuck with ONE time machine for any future situations. Remind me again. Remind me. Why… did we have the Lifeboat in the first place? Oh yeah, Connor kept it in case the crew of the Mothership was ever stranded. And it came in handy after the Mothership was stolen. Right, who needs two time machines? Scrap her, boys!

In a flashforward to 2023, we see that Lucy is teaching at Stanford again. And she just got tenure! Which is a throwback to the Pilot, but completely ignores that it is not what Lucy wanted for herself, only what Carol influenced her into doing. Lucy’s dream job was to teach at a small college in Ohio. (Source: 1x14 conversation with Lindbergh.) But who CARES WHAT LUCY WANTS?! Certainly not a writer who barely knows the show upon which she is the showrunner.

Lucy is a thoroughly horrible fake feminist now. At her job, she teaches a general history class, but only talks about women in history. When a male student brings this up, Lucy says, “I meant to get to the men, but we just didn’t have time.Maybe in the spring, okay?” So he gets to sound sexist for valuing his education. Oh, wow, thanks. Feminism isn’t about ignoring men and acting like they’re not important. It’s about EQUALITY! Label your class as “Women’s History” if that’s all you’re going to teach. Also what if they don’t HAVE YOU next semester, Lucy?! They’re going on to their next classes completely unprepared. Remind me again how this woman got tenure? Because she didn’t get it in the Pilot due to her unconventional teaching methods. Somehow not adhering to your own course description is the secret to success?

Lucy and Wyatt have two twin girls named Flynn and Amy. There are so many bad fanfiction cliches I want to cry. TToTT Why are you making me cry? Never. name. the. second. generation. after. characters. that. died. It’s. THE. corniest. thing. Petition. to. stop!

Jiya and Rufus started “Riya Industries.” That’s right! They squeezed not one, BUT TWO fandom ship names into this nightmare. If you needed further proof no one was taking this movie seriously, here ya go.

2023 Lucy does take the journal to 2014 Flynn in the bar in Sao Paulo, but everything about it is wrong. Not only do Rufus and Wyatt accompany her, but the conversation leads to Lucy telling a man who just lost his family that he can change the past but will never save his family. Also he’ll die. And he should just accept all of that but still do what she says and sacrifice himself to save a world that hates him. And the entire conversation takes place in about a minute. I mean, people had a hard time believing Flynn would buy into Lucy’s story and do what she said after 2x08 premiered. Now? NO EFFING WAY!

A clip (deleted scene from Pilot) of 2016 Flynn at the end shows him about to raid Mason Industries and start us over again. In other words, he is stuck in Hell loop for eternity. His family will die in 2014, he will do horrible things he hates to save them and the world from Rittenhouse, and he will die unnecessarily to save the world. Then Lucy will go back in time, give him the journal, and start him on this quest all over again, knowing full well that he is a good man and this will destroy his soul. But she doesn’t care (actually smiles as she approaches him) because he “did bad things” and the writer thinks he deserves this. Even though Lucy is the one who set him on this path and one can EASILY argue it is all her doing and Flynn was nothing but her tool. Don’t worry, she gets her happy ending.

The movie closes on a young girl designing specs for her own time machine. Motives unknown, other than general interest, same as Connor in the beginning. The writer thinks this is an AMAZING open ending, leaving plenty of groundwork for more Timeless when fans get it renewed for a third time. (It is not. No one cares. You killed Timeless and flew all its plots into the ground.)

In conclusion, yes, worst case scenario on every single plot point. Timeless does nothing to prove or even suggest it deserves a third chance. I personally am left wishing it had never been renewed after the initial cancellation following S1. Let it stay dead now. Forever. It has done nothing to deserve yet another chance.

RIP Timemess.

#hopefully-happy #Ask #TD Reply #I hope you don't mind I published this publicly #I obviously had a lot to say #^__^; #In conclusion: It bad #And I would gladly meet with Arika in a Denny's parking lot #She ruined my favorite show #And then she came back with this movie and DESTROYED IT! #Also she hates logic and I love logic #She is my arch nemesis #I ranted way too long about this movie but if there's one thing I have in abundance #it's an opinion #Hahahahaha #Timeless

[cool---cat]

why does my family have to be so goddamn racist? i don’t know how to explain to them that they are privileged because they are white. i wouldn’t have gotten pissed if they hadn’t brought up the protests. and now i’m the bad guy because i said trump is a racist piece of shit and that by supporting him you support his views. and i’m also the bad guy by saying non-white people are highly profiled by the police.

#i hate this so much #august can’t come soon enough #i hate trump supporters #all i said was it is highly suspected the looting was started by an undercover cop #and of course i can’t say i heard it from twitter because then it’s unreliable #but i didn’t say it was proven just highly suspected #but then she can say that climate change is fake even if i say what nasa says #and some shit about bacteria or something that’s killing people with covid-19 #and i said where did you hear that #but it’s not the same somehow #i just want out #so badly #it’s so hard not to think about running away #and i just made everything worse by yelling when she started yelling first #i’m sorry i don’t have any friends so i don’t have anyone to talk to about this #sorry #personal

[mermaidsirennikita]

March 2018 Book Roundup

I read a lot of books this month!  And two of them were actually five star reads, which I would recommend for completely different reasons.  Read A Girl Like That by Tanaz Bhathena if you want to be completely devastated.  Read To Kill A Kingdom by Alexandra Christo if you want a fantastic fairy tale romp with a good bit of blood.  But like, read both?  There was also one pretty big disappointment (that was still by no means a failure, this book just got hyped to hell) and a book I actually hated.  So like, a mixed bag!

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton.  4/5.  In Orleans, beauty drives people--in part because they don’t naturally have it.  They’re born gray-skinned, red-eyed, and ugly; and this can only be changed with the help of a Belle, one of the lovely young women with the power to (temporarily) manipulate people’s physical appearances.  Camellia is making her Belle debut with her sisters--but only one can get the coveted spot of the queen’s favorite, working on the royal family.  Initially, Camellia is passed over; but when her winning sister mysteriously vacates the spot, she is thrust into the role of favorite and tasked with the seemingly impossible feat of healing the queen’s older daughter who’s been in a coma for years.  As it turns out, the fate of Orleans could very well hang in the balance.  On the surface, I thought that The Belles would be like a lot of those YA fantasy/dystopian books centered on looks that is basically a transparent riff on reality shows/21st century pop culture meets Harry Potter/The Hunger Games/What Have You.  In fact, the way the Belles work in their world is very much its own thing, and Clayton does a lovely job of weaving in these super sugary descriptions--obviously drawing from the French royal court of Marie Antoinette or Louis XIV--while never dropping this sense of mystery and dread.  Part of that mystery revolves around what the Belles really are, and to be honest I’m still not 100% sure about that--but this is the beginning of a series, and it’s incredibly intriguing.  Furthermore, the horror factor was much more present than I expected.  It’s a book that gets a lot out of the eeriness behind what people do for beauty--the only thing it needs to work on, for me, is fleshing out the characters a bit more.

Bygone Badass Broads by Mackenzi Lee.  3/5.  Lee expands on her popular Twitter series, telling the stories of women who have been scrubbed from history because they’re not white enough, not straight enough, not cis enough, or otherwise too transgressive in some other ways.  Basically, this is one of those books that lists dozens of rebellious or unusual women, and I tend to love that.  I wouldn’t say that this book is bad, but it also doesn’t rank super high in the subgenre.  Yes, Lee does a great job of digging up women that even I hadn’t heard of (and I say “even” because again, I read a lot of books like this) but the write-ups are so short (about three-ish pages on Nook each) that I didn’t get a lot out of them.  Which of course allows Lee to include more women, but I would have rather seen more about each woman and less women in general, especially as some were honestly--less impressive than others.  As important as lady publishers are, I feel like there’s less intrigue and yeah, importance overall to their stories compared to those about women like the Maribel sisters.  There were a couple of women included who were borderline legends as well, and I don’t know...  Maybe cut them in favor of the women who definitely did something?  Furthermore, there’s a huge imbalance in time periods, or at least it felt that way--I mean, it seemed like most of the ladies were from the nineteenth century and onward.  And that’s just a matter of personal taste--I’m more interested in history from ancient times to the eighteenth century.  Nineteenth century is where my interest begins to wane a bit!  But with that being said, it’s not a bad book and definitely a nice, quick read when you want to discover some interesting women written about in a chatty tone.

A Girl Like That by Tanaz Bhathena.  5/5.  For most of her life, Zarin--an Indian immigrant to Saudi Arabia--has been viewed as a bad girl.  She’s seen that way by the mentally ill aunt who raised her, subjected to abuse in part simply because she’s a “bastard orphan”.  Her uncle sympathizes but won’t actually help.  The girls at school and their mothers see her as a flirt and a bad influence.  The only person who seems to give Zarin a chance is Porus, the boy who worships the ground she walks on, no matter how careless she is about his feelings.  Now Porus and Zarin are dead in a car accident, and few know what actually lead up to it; in bits and pieces, from multiple perspectives, we learn the reality of Zarin’s life, and why she was far more than “a girl like that”.  First off, this book is absolutely heartbreaking.  Though you know from page one that Zarin and Porus are dead, you still fall in love with them and there’s this sense of dread throughout as you get closer and closer to their deaths.  Zarin is one of the best YA protagonists I’ve read about in a while--flawed but incredibly human, easy to relate to, and terribly wounded in a way that isn’t over the top.  And Porus isn’t a knight in shining armor, he’s a romantic boy in love with a girl who may or may not want him back, and the book doesn’t hesitate to call him out for his white knight-ing while not abandoning his inherent goodness (which is implied to be present because he had the influence of a good father, whereas the other, less good boys in the book are following the examples of shitty fathers).  It was great to read a YA contemporary novel that was set somewhere other than America, or even Europe.  The author has a background similar to Zarin’s, so she’s not talking out of her ass here.  And there’s a deep sympathy for almost every character in the book--even when they’re horrible, they aren’t mindless villains.  There are cultural and religious elements at play, and none of them are good or bad without cause.  As a warning, rape and abuse (sexual and otherwise) are themes throughout the book, as is depression, suicidal ideation, and more.  It’s not an easy read.  But it should absolutely be read.

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn.  4/5.  Anna is an agoraphobe and classic cinema fan, spending her days talking to fellow agoraphobes on a message board and her nights watching movies--and spying on her neighbors.  She hasn’t left her home in ten months, doesn’t live with her husband and daughter anymore, and seems beyond hope when her new neighbor Jane visits and breathes new life into her boring routine.  No sooner has Anna made a friend, however, than she sees something horrible happen in Jane’s home.  The issue?  Everyone--including the police--say that it didn’t happen.  This book is a clear Rear Window tribute, and acknowledges as much--in fact, Anna’s obsession with classic thrillers, along with her alcoholism and psych meds, probably contribute to her status as an unreliable narrator.  And I love an unreliable narrator.  Anna is flawed without losing my sympathy (another favorite character type) and while I can’t say that this is the most original thriller I’ve read, it’s entertaining and well-done and even a bit emotional.  Definitely satisfying.

Rosemarked by Livia Blackburne.  2/5.  Zivah is a healer, struck down by the same plague she’s been treating people for--the rose plague.  It will shorten her life but kill her slowly, isolating her in a little cottage (think shades of leprosy, but not as gross, of course). Dineas has survived the same plague, leaving him immune, and has escaped the Amparans who tortured him to the point of breaking.  His desire to liberate his people brings him to Zivah, who wants to make the remainder of her life mean something--and together the two unite on a mission to steal from the capital.  I think.  Honestly, this book was so boring that I wasn’t really absorbing much of the plot.  In theory, it’s such a cool idea: a slow-burn romance between a warrior and a dying healer that has them acting as spies.  But it’s told in alternating perspectives, and Dineas and Zivah are both so bland that I couldn’t really tell the difference between the two of them. There was a lot of summary without much urgency.  Also: the romance is clearly meant to be a big part of the story.  However, Dineas and Zivah lack chemistry, and this issue is only exacerbated by the fact that... for reasons... which I didn’t totally get... Dineas keeps having his memory taken away?  Willingly?  “For the mission”.  So Zivah is supposedly falling in love with amnesiac Dineas, who isn’t even really Dineas completely--or is he???  God, it made no sense.

Awayland by Ramona Ausubel.  3/5.  A collection of short stories capturing the feelings of dreaminess and wanderlust, often with a dose of magical realism.  This book is very difficult for me to describe, in part because it’s just kind of weird?  Definitely well-written if you like pretty, sometimes purple prose.  There were a few stories I really liked, some that simply baffled me, and in general I loved the sense of the different lands the author described.  However, one story made me particularly uncomfortable in the almost fetishistic way that it described Africa, and I can’t help but feel how... deliberately vague... it seems to be.  And I’m not sure what to think about that.

To Kill A Kingdom by Alexandra Christo.  5/5.  Princess Lira has seventeen hearts in her bedroom.  The daughter of the siren Sea Queen, Lira waits for the day that she takes her mother’s throne, building a fearsome reputation by taking the still-beating hearts of princes.  Prince Elian isn’t so dissimilar--however, he sails the seas killing sirens, and his reputation has made him a prize for the sirens.  After killing one of her mother’s subjects, Lira is punished with a human form.  The only way she can return to her true body--and remain her mother’s heir--is to get Elian’s heart--without any of her powers.  This Little Mermaid retelling is dark--focusing a good bit on the effects of abusive parenting--and bloody, starring a monster princess and a prince who isn’t so nice either.  Yes, it’s a story of two people who are mortal enemies hating each other until they maybe don’t so much.  Yes, it’s full of the various lands Elias and Lira visit and all of their royal families.  Yes, it was one of the most fun and engaging books I’ve read in a long time, and certainly one of the best fairy tale retellings I’ve read.  READ IT.

Blood Water Paint by Joy McCullough.  3/5.  A verse-driven retelling of Artemisia Gentileschi’s rape and its aftermath, interspersed with stories of the women who would inspire some of her most famous works.  Let me tell you this upfront: I feel that other people would enjoy this book much more than I did.  It’s written in a lovely way--the stories of Judith and Susanna are told by Artemisia’s mother, almost as bedtime stories, which is... a bit weird, but cool--and it is an incredibly important, if brutal, story.  It’s also, at face value, pretty accurate: Artemisia was the daughter of a mediocre painter who she learned from and surpassed; she was raped by Agostino Tassi after an initial romance; she was tortured in court to prove that she wasn’t lying about her rape.  The story does skirt over the fact that Artemisia wanted to marry her rapist, and his refusal to marry her drove her to seek justice--not the rape on its own.  And that bothered me, the lack of real confrontation of that fact.  Because it renders Artemisia an “imperfect victim”, and few rape survivors ARE perfect victims.  Certainly, few in the seventeenth century fit a twenty-first century idea of what rape survivors are like.  And that was a huge issue with the book in general.  Artemisia--and her mother, to an extent--thought and sounded like twenty-first century women.  Artemisia approached painting like a twenty-first century artist.  As someone who has studied Italian painting of this era, and how Italian women painters were treated and acted, it just... didn’t sit well for me.  Sure, the whole book was stylized, but you can have a stylized story without losing authenticity.  Again, this will probably be a fantastic book for people who don’t share my background with the story.  But it didn’t work for me.

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw.  1/5.  Two centuries ago, the people of Sparrow drowned the three Swan sisters, all accused witches.  Ever since then, the sisters have returned every summer, possessing innocent girls until the solstice to seduce and drown boys.  Penny Talbot is familiar with the legend, and therefore hasn’t let herself get attached to the local boys.  Bo isn’t local--but he does have a connection to the sisters.  As they zero in on a boy she’s growing increasingly concerned for, Penny hunts for an answer to what the sisters really want and how she can stop them.  This was so bad.  So bad.  Bad because the idea was really cool--ghost witch sisters, possession, seduction, drowning--and there were some really interesting descriptions.  Basically, some of the bits that were just about the Swan sisters’ past were cool.  Some of them.  Until the end.  The rest was basically a hodge-podge of incredibly predictable “twists”, chemistry-less instalove, and a total inability to write people as people.  They made ridiculously stupid choices, experienced inexplicable emotional reactions, and in general just felt fake.  This should have been SO cool.  But it just made me want to write the opposite thing in order to prove a point.  (Also: it is set in OREGON.  Near Portland.  In our time, or at least a time where stereos are a thing.  I know that shady shit can happen anywhere and especially in small towns, but fuck.  Around 3 or more young boys from this town drown EVERY SUMMER, and not only is the town able to sustain itself but the FBI hasn’t gotten involved?  These all seem to be young white boys, in Oregon, just drowning.  Literally if this had been set in a made-up town in a made-up time, this would have been much more believable.)

The Merry Spinster by Mallory Ortzberg.  3/5.  A collection of short, spooky retellings of not only fairy tales, but classic children’s stories like “The Velveteen Rabbit”.  Overall, I’d recommend this book if you’re in the mood for something lyrical yet genuinely grim--but be warned, it can be a bit self-important sometimes.  A few of the creepier bits felt almost too self-aware; like, “this is scary because these are children’s characters acting really weird, oooh”.  Some of the stories I could have done without.  Standouts include “The Daughter Cells” (The Little Mermaid), “The Six Boy-Coffins” (The Six Swans, also the best story in the collection), “The Rabbit” (The Velveteen Rabbit) , and “Cast Your Bread Upon The Water” (Johnny Croy and His Mermaid Bride).  

The Radical Element ed. Jessica Spotswood.  2/5.  An anthology of short stories about young women who are “radical” in some what, from the nineteenth to twentieth century. Because really, for a historical fiction anthology, this is pretty limited in time periods and locations--it’s nineteenth and twentieth century America, barely stretching a century. Which is something I found irritating about the last anthology edited by Spotswood that I read (A Tyranny of Petticoats) but I liked that more because there were more stories for me to connect with.  Honestly, many of these read very young to me, so regardless of the writing quality I didn’t like most of them.  The only one that really stood out to me was Anna-Marie McLemore’s “Glamour”.  But this isn’t a bad anthology, in my opinion--I just think I’ve outgrown much of these stories.  

Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney.  2/5.  Amber is in a coma.  She can sense everything around her, hear everything people say, but can’t move her body, even to open her eyes.  She remembers nothing--only that her husband doesn’t love her anymore, and she believes that he had something to do with the “accident” that people refer to.  Alternating between Amber’s present in the coma, the days leading up to the accident, and a series of diary entries, the truth slowly unravels--or maybe.  Because sometimes Amber lies.  Basically, this had all of the plot elements it needed to have... But it moved at what felt like a glacial pace, and I couldn’t get into anything because the voices were dull.  Also: Amber has no control over her bodily functions while in a coma, and is sure to remind us of this every possible moment.  Furthermore, there is such a thing as too many twists, and to a degree, this book went there.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi.  3/5.  The land of Orisha was once full of magic--and Zelie’s mother was one of those who had it.  Until, that is, magic disappeared.  King Saran conducted a raid that killed all--or supposedly all--magic users, including Zelie’s mother.  Years later, Zelie and her brother Tzain embark on a quest to restore magic, aided by the runaway Princess Amari, and pursued by Amari’s brother Inan, who is determined to inherit his father’s ruthless legacy.  So...  This book.  I wanted so badly for it to be at least a four star read for me.  It’s been intensely hyped up, with the movie rights being sold ages ago.  Is it worth the hype?  For me, obviously not.  The hype oversold it.  Because Children of Blood and Bone is an enjoyable read with a ton of potential--but it’s also one of those books that was so clearly written by a debut author.  And I hate to say that, because I want to be a debut author someday; but there is a standard we need to hold ourselves and others to, and to me, this book needed some editing.  It was very overlong, with some parts dragging because I wanted to get back to the action.  The character beats sometimes felt rushed, comparatively--especially when it came to, you guessed it, the two central romances.  One of them was MADE FOR ME, but though I liked the pairing I wished that there had been more a realistic buildup.  The interesting thing about Children of Blood and Bone is that Adeyemi--who as I understand it is Nigerian-American, raised in America--based it off of West African culture.  As a white American, I obviously cannot speak to the authenticity of the usage of Yoruba, but I have seen a couple of Nigerian reviewers claim some issue with it, and that does make me wonder.  I do know that Adeyemi used, again, Yoruba in her book as well as several real place names.  This bugged me a bit.  Orisha is a fictional world--why refer to real African cities and a real language?  Obviously, most of the dialogue is in English, but Adeyemi could have referred to an imagined language as many fantasy novelists do.  To me, this all felt like... I don’t know, Jon Snow saying that he’d learned French from a tutor, or Gandalf saying that he was from Belfast.  It was a worldbuilding issue that knocked me out of the story.  For that matter, the fact that the catlike animals were referred to as “leonaires” (leopards), and so on... it seemed kind of weak.  There were a ton of very usual beats here--rebellious princess, young characters doomed from the first page, evil king who is evil because he is evil and had a dead love that is the sort of root of all of his problems...  It seems like I’m critiquing the fuck out of this book, but it had such a great idea and was so set up to be great that I don’t know.  I’m just disappointed, and it all could have been much better because the bones were there.  All that said, I’m probably going to read the second book because I was invested in the characters and do want to see what happens next.  But if the next book isn’t better, I probably won’t read beyond that.

In Search of Us by Ava Dellaira.  3/5.  Angie has never known her father; the biracial child of a white mother, she has never known the black side of her family, as her father apparently died before she was born along with his brother.  After discovering that her uncle is actually alive, Angie embarks on a trip to LA with her ex-boyfriend to seek the truth about her father.  In a parallel story, we see the journey of her mother, Marilyn, as a teenager being pushed by her mother to support them through a modeling career she doesn’t want.  After meeting James, Marilyn sees the opportunity for a new life--the question is how she’ll come to be the single mother of a daughter she keeps secrets from.  This book is really lovely and sweet in a lot of ways--the writing is quite pretty.  Marilyn’s story is, to be honest, much more compelling than Angie’s simply because she has a more dramatic arc.  Angie is essentially on a trip to uncover something you can probably guess fairly early on, and though her struggles are totally understandable, it is kind of difficult to watch her treat her very sweet ex like shit and kind of take advantage of his feelings.  Marilyn has this struggle of attempting to escape her mother’s impossible dreams, while engaging in genuinely sweet and sad romance.  The issue for me was that nobody quite as accessible as Marilyn, and while I appreciated the message the book was sending, it seemed a bit heavy-handed and abrupt towards the end.  Tacked on for points, to be frank.  Also, there was one sex scene that seemed... while not physically impossible, very unlikely.  But overall, if you want to read something sort of gentle and sad with good romance AND mother-daughter elements, I’d recommend it.

The Flight Attendant by Chris Bohjalian.  3/5.  Flight attendant Cassie is something of a train wreck, using her career to facilitate a habit of heavy partying and one night stands.  In Dubai, she has a one-nighter with a man named Alex, only to wake up to find him brutally murdered in the bed they shared.  Unable to remember the entirety of the previous night’s events and terrified of what will happen to her, Cassie sneaks out of the hotel room and finds herself embroiled in an international scandal.  The book follows not only Cassie’s perspective, but that of the mysterious Elena, who seems to be keeping tabs on Cassie.  This is definitely a gripping book, and I sped through it.  Honestly, much of the interest had to do with just how odd and intriguing a flight attendant’s life can be, and it was certainly a great profession for the main character of a thriller--Cassie was constantly jet-setting.  The issue was that she was also a total idiot, to the point that sometimes her stupidity felt less like a character trait and more like a plot device.  But I could have gotten over that.  What bumped this down from a 4 to a 3-star rating was the ending--the big twist wasn’t something I called, but it also wasn’t very thrilling.  You pretty much knew what was going on before the end.  And of course, everything was tied up in a very... borderline sexist way?  But it’s not the worst thriller I’ve read; I mean, it wasn’t even the worst one I read this month.

#books #book recs #book roundup

[lair-of-books]

Hola Bookworms! It’s finally Friday and I’m very much looking forward to unplugging this weekend. I took today off from work (this post was scheduled) to get away for a bit since we’ll be experiencing a heat wave in New York City. I’ve got two cute new bathing suits I’m pretty stoked to try out, a new found love for Roscato sweet red wine & Playa Bowls (pictured below). Currently I’m reading Forest Of Souls (Shamanborn #1) by Lori M. Lee (Really enjoying this slower paced world building but then again that’s my thang haha!) and obsessing over John Legend’s new album Bigger Love. July is already proving to be a quality reading month with some 5 star reads. In the month of June I threw myself into reading even more diverse black voices & spent less time blogging. I’m just now getting caught up with reviews but figured I should probably wrap up the month seeing as we’re already in mid-July. Drop some love down below, how are you spending your weekend? reading? watching? writing?

The Black Flamingo by Dean Atta – ✨4.5 STARS✨ I still stand by my original thoughts on this book, it is one of the MOST raw coming of age stories I’ve ever read. Written in verse, this is the story of Michael who is Jamaican and Greek living in London being raised by his mother. His mother is Greek, a single parent who is very supportive and loving to both Michael and his sister. Growing up in a predominantly white neighborhood & attending a school with mostly white children, Michael faces many challenges being a queer black boy. We follow his journey to finding himself and the freedom he obtains on that journey. I listened to the audiobook on Libro.fm & personally I loved getting the story narrated by the author. I listened in one sitting! ❤

The Boyfriend Project by Farrah Rochon – ✨3 STARS✨After hearing many of my friends in the Book community express their thoughts, I adjusted my expectations on this one. I already had a Book of the Month copy as well as the audiobook from Libro.fm. I loved the friendship aspects of this story where we follow our MC as she meets two other women that happen to be dating the same man she is. An unlikely confrontation leads to a friendship which I enjoyed seeing develop. What I didn’t love so much was the romance seeing as it has the whole undercover angle & that took away from any chemistry I may have felt between the two love interests. I’d still be interested in reading possibly a story arc following the other friends *fingers crossed*

The City Of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty -✨4 STARS✨ (My Review) LOVED the world building & plot! captivating and truly memorable however I didn’t fall in love or grow attached to any of the characters. Sure I had one that stood out but that was iffy too. Character growth is on the page & I do have high hopes for the sequel being a 5 star read.

I Killed Zoe Spanos by Kit Frick – ✨5 STARS✨ (My Review) YA Thrillers! people sleep on them but truly they are something to explore! Kit Frick held me from the very first page & I could only imagine what the experience would’ve been like if I had listened to this in audiobook format since it does have a podcast feel. LOVED the unreliable narrator & the interviews throughout the book with neighbors & friends. Lastly, I’ll say that I did NOT see that ending coming & was left with my jaw hanging smh.

Abbott – ✨4 STARS✨My only wish is that this had more issues but I can’t find any info online as to whether there will be. We follow a Journalist in Detroit who is investigating a series of murders that seem to have a paranormal twist. I was hella intrigued by our MC who is a black bi-sexual divorced woman with a bit of a brooding side she settles into each night with a glass of whiskey.

All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson – ✨5 STARS✨ (My Review) My BEST read of the month! One that I will not stop recommending! I listened to the author narrate his own essays in this audiobook via Libro.fm & was absolutely invested start to finish. I said in my review that it felt like I was at the kitchen table with George hearing stories of his youth as if he were a friend. This is how I’ll aways remember my time with this book. The importance of reading stories that feature intersectionality is something I’ll always stress. This is the story of George M. Johnson a young queer black man growing up in America.

June was a e-book heavy month for me & as I’m still donating books from my shelves I didn’t purchase any physical books. I can tell you now that this is not the case for July smh but at least I have plenty of shelf space to house my new babies. The books down below were all Kindle deals mostly $1.99 at most $3.99, I went click happy because there were so many great titles on sale so here goes…

ONLY FOR A NIGHT (LICK #1) | PATRON SAINTS OF NOTHING | THE WEIGHT OF THE STARS | THE FOUNTAINS OF SILENCE | QUEEN MOVE | THE STORM RUNNER | FORTUNA SWORN | TRISTAN STRONG PUNCHES A HOLE IN THE SKY | RACE TO THE SUN | THE BOOK OF LOST SAINTS THE HOUSE IN THE CERULEAN SEA

For many years I’ve heard Guy Ritchie get much acclaim as a director but for me personally it was seeing this movie that really caught my interest. The minute I saw the cast of characters…Matthew McConaughey, Charlie Hunnam, Colin Farrell, Hugh Grant I KNEW I had to watch! Initially it was set to be a date night at the movies but Rona put a stop to that & I waited for it to be made available on Fandango Now. We follow McConaughey who is an American expat trying to sell his very profitable Marijuana empire in London. This of course captures the attention of many of his enemies & triggers many attempts to steal his business before he can sell. TONS of action, schemes, and yea even a few laugh out loud moments. Overall a good time!

June was an intense month in the world, i was proud to see many of my bookish friends in the community amplify black voices all throughout. The efforts to bring diverse stories to our shelves continues. i’ve always read diversely with an emphasis on intersectionality but i will be amping that up further on this blog.happy reading <3’s!

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June 2020 Monthly Wrap-Up Hola Bookworms! It's finally Friday and I'm very much looking forward to unplugging this weekend. I took today off from work…

#amplify black voices #Amreading #ARCS #Audiobooks #Bibliophile #Blogger #Book Blogger #Book Dragon #Book Geek #Book Haul #book lover #Book nerd #book review #Bookaholic #Books #Bookstagram #bookworm #Comics #contemporary #Currently Reading #Diverse Books #Diversity #fantasy #favorites #Goodreads #Graphic Novel #Intersectionality #June Wrap-Up #LGBTQIA #librofm

[heartsoftruth]

(i wrote most of it yesterday when the news of Neymar wanting to leave was confirmed hence the usage of today)

It’s hard to describe how I feel today… So incredibly hard.

When I read the news this morning it didn’t really hit me if I’m being honest. I just felt numb. Trying to find more news and just posting it, but not feeling much. 

Not feeling how I felt for the last two weeks when the press in Brasil first reported about it. When it was just Sport I ignored the news and laughed it away. I found it hilarious, but when Marcelo Bechler of Esporte Interativo the following day said it was a done deal and he was on his way to PSG in the upcoming weeks I felt a shock. I felt anxious and sick. I wanted to act like it was nothing, but Brazilian media also reporting it? That made me worry… When I saw – in the following days – every other big Brazilian news station/paper also confirming the news (especially Globo) I knew I had every reason to freak out.

Some people may have thought I overreacted or even called Globo unreliable or were – as always – plain rude to me acting like I was a hysterical teen… But look at where we are today… 

Neymar is leaving FC Barcelona. He’s leaving us. He’s leaving the club I love so dearly and always have and always WILL support. I’ve said it times again: with or without Neymar I AM a culé for life. He just broke my heart today… And not just today, but these last two weeks have been so emotionally draining. The news went reliable so quickly, but then Geri gave us hope with ‘Se Queda’. I really thought he would stay, but the rumors kept going and Geri had to say it was just a Tweet of how he felt… After that everyday was again like a rollercoaster for me emotionally. One hour I had hope, then the next I felt down again after reading something. I don’t think I’ve ever used Twitter as often – on my mobile – as in these past two weeks. Afraid I would miss something positive, but the positive news never came again after ‘Se Queda’….

But how much I may hate this Brazilian kid now, with his god awful hairstyles, terrible sense of fashion (aka none at times) and ALWAYS surrounded by some kind of on- or off-field drama: I know deep down inside I can not hate him.

This kid stole my heart ever since I saw the first video of him at Santos. When Barça was rumored to be buying him I HAD to know more about this kid. Of course I’ve heard his name – I think everyone in football did – but I didn’t know much about him. I started with the football videos, but then I saw some funny moments and wanted to know more and more about him. His episodes showed me what a humble kid he was, but also a cocky little fucker (and I mean that in the nicest way. You know what I mean if you know Santos Ney).

Here at Barça he stole my heart like no other player ever did. I like the Brazilian type of play: the ‘Joga Bonito’. Dribbles, tricks (who some may hate but I love them), the passion and playing with so much happiness. He has all of that combined plus a very fun and nice personality.

READ MORE 

I’ve made this blog – mainly about him – a couple years ago, because I wanted to talk about football with people who love the sport as much as I do. Some of you might think I don’t have a social life, yet luckily – or sadly sometimes friends can be a pain in the butt HAHAHA – I have.

Yet sometimes I think I know more about him than my own friends. I’ve come to know so much about him that just by looking at him I can tell how he feels. When I see him smile in photos of videos I can tell if it’s genuine or if it’s just for the camera’s. For example – and maybe some of you can remember this - how I last year around October/November I think I said Neymar looked off. I’ve never really explained why I thought that nor did any of my anons agree or understand me, but it is something I’ve been thinking about a lot since this thing started… 

After all these years of following him I’ve seen many of his ups and many of his down. He is temperamental – and probably will always be – sometimes still annoys me with diving (that will stick with his name forever I’m afraid) and sometimes he just doesn’t think when he does something on/off the field. I protect him when I can and when he deserves it. And I always protect his privacy when I get send things on here that I know would cause a lot of controversy. 

However I’ve seen him grow so much as a player and as a personality in these 4 amazing years at FC Barcelona. After a tough first season he became a part of one of the great forward trio in football: M S N. He scored, assisted and showed amazing things on the field and besides trophies he was also voted in the top 3 of the Ballon d’Or. The pride I felt when I heard he was one of the finalists and saw him going to Switzerland to go to the gala was immense. Many tears of joy were shed when I saw he was nominated and when I saw him on that podium. He became an established and important player for us and has been ever since. 

He gave us – and me - so many beautiful and funny moments: Remontada is what we will all forever cherish and showed us how he stood up and took the lead. That goal in his first Champions League final against Juventus and the happiness afterwards, his everlasting love for hamburgers during our parades and seeing his amazing bound with some of the players on our team. What about the end of NeyMessi, NeyFinha, PiqueMar and NeyRez… You could see him being so close to them.

But one of his most beautiful moments for Barça defiantly was his goal against Villarreal. The combination of his first touch of the ball, skill, trick and then goal is just Neymar captured in one goal.

A new phase has come by in his career: now he’s off to PSG to be a leader of a team. A reason I can understand, because we all know Leo is the leader here and will be until the day he decides to leave us. With his brilliant form that shows, he’s in no way slowing down and I can understand his decision to leave and be a leader of another team. He’s not a Masia player, he doesn’t owe us that loyalty that we want from our youth players. He’s not obligated to stay here and if I’m quite honest I never thought he would play only here in Europe. There was too much rumors surrounding him– a player with a contract for years – and every transfer window too make me believe he would stay at us and go back to Brasil when he’s done in Europe. The many Brazilians at PSG probably also helped to make his decision easier and lets not forget the insane amount of money he will earn. I mean no one wouldn’t think about that kind of money and he decided to take it. I don’t think it was his main reason to go, but you can all have your own opinion about it.

Of course this whole transfer saga went on for way too long. I think the tour played a really big part in the delay and made him truly doubt his decision to leave. He will come out with a statement when it’s officially announced. I’m sure of that and that’s also what I need of him and what many of us want from him.  

The hate towards him was difficult to read and so many went overboard with it. It’s understandable he’s not loved by many Cules anymore, it’s understandable that you doubt who you supported for the 4 years he was here, but I hope that you also won’t forget the great memories he gave you, the fans and the team. The amount of times he let you laugh because of his singing and dancing or killed us with hot ‘Princesa’ Rafinha posts… I get it might take time for many to get over this, but I hope eventually the people that hate him now will be able to see him at least normally again.

For me the combination of him at Barça was ideal: My fave club & my fave player. How much I want to say that I won’t follow him anymore I know that won’t be true… I know I will be behind the tv or my laptop, but this time I won’t be rooting for a team I will just be rooting for him to do well. I can’t and won’t ever cheer for PSG. I will be cheering for him to win prices, making assists and to show me that Barça magic. But for him only (Ok, and maybe a little for Kevin too haha). You know a couple months ago when we played against them I said I hoped we would get a selfie of him and Kevin…. I didn’t think I would get it with them being teammates…

I will forever be sad about the fact that the one weekend I could have seen him up insanely close (within my touch) he had to be sick. The fact that I won’t ever get to see him play in a FC Barcelona shirt live will be my biggest football regret. Because now I will see him play for PSG instead… 

He is taking a HUGE risk by leaving Barça for them, but I hope to see him win prices. Win that Ligue 1, win the French cup and win that Champions League ((but not by playing against us please). Write history by winning the CL and even if you don’t win it, I know you will still do good. Be successful and what I want to see most of all is him being happy. Because I know that without happiness everything else is not important to him.  

It’s time to say goodbye to your time at FC Barcelona and thank you for what you gave me as a fan of you and the club. A new challenge awaits you and - though it may take some time to get over and used to it for me - I will follow you. 

I became your fan when you came to FC Barcelona and I still will be your fan now that you leave this club.

You may not stay Ney, but I will still stay with you.

Boa sorte Juninho y sempre tamo junto <3

#ok I told you this was long #I kinda forgot where I was going near the end #but ok #LONG Read #haha #Neymar #Personal #Rant #fc Barcelona #Neymar jr

[shirlleycoyle]

Hackers Dissect ‘Mr. Robot’ Season 4 Episode 8: ‘Request Timeout’

Episode 8 of Mr. Robot’s final season was intense. We discussed zip ties, phone restoring, location trackers, mixers, Elliot’s sloppy Python script, and the final hack [SPOILERS, obvs]. (The chat transcript has been edited for brevity, clarity, and chronology.)

This week’s team of experts includes:

Jen Helsby: SecureDrop lead developer at Freedom of the Press Foundation.

Jason Hernandez: Solutions Architect for Bishop Fox, an offensive security firm. He also does research into surveillance technology and has presented work on aerial surveillance.

Harlo Holmes: Director of Digital Security at Freedom of the Press Foundation.

Trammell Hudson: a security researcher who likes to take things apart.

Micah Lee: a technologist with a focus on operational security, source protection, privacy and cryptography, as well as Director of Information Security at The Intercept.

Yael Grauer (moderator): an investigative tech reporter covering online privacy and security, digital freedom, mass surveillance and hacking.

***

Yael: I want to start out by saying that I agree Momofuku is good.

Micah: In the very first scene, in 1995, when young Elliot is playing hide-and-seek and hiding something in the Queens Museum, I thought it was cool that he was running past all this retro computer equipment from 1995.

Trammell: Getting to the Queens Museum from 2nd avenue is a long haul on the F to the 7. And isn't Krista's place somewhere in upper Manhattan?

Yael: During the cab ride, I couldn't believe they were still showing videos of Tyrell after he's dead. But I guess I can't say I'm surprised if they put a lot of money into producing it. I mean, it IS Evil Corp. Also, shoutout to Krista. She got KIDNAPPED and KILLED someone and was still counseling Elliot after all that. Talk about emotional labor. (Or don't, lol, Twitter is a mess.)

Micah: Yeah, Krista is quite the badass. I also liked that when they got to the police station and Elliot was like, "I can't go in there with you," she was totally fine with it.

Dom and Darlene’s Kidnapping

Yael: So the Darlene/Dom kidnapping scene reminded me of a conversation we had in a previous chat about duress, and how you can program stuff to lock you out, but if someone's gonna start offing people, maybe you don't want to. Also, how do you get out of zip ties?

Harlo: About a week ago, I did this kidnapping simulation, which was actually pretty harrowing. Before you go into the scenario, they try to prepare you by teaching you how to get out of zip ties, handcuffs, and duct tape. Brief detour: zip ties are fun. While you can definitely just bust them by bringing them down with enough force onto your hip bone, more substantial ones require a long enough shoelace, which you loop through the cuffs, tether to your feet, then flop over and pedal like you're on a recumbent bike to slice through the plastic. Super fun. Great parlor trick. But when I did the sim, it was tricky to feel confident and safe enough—and unsurveilled enough—to attempt the escape, even if you knew how to do it.

Yael: Timing is really important. I think Dom had the sustained training and probably experience to really use it to her advantage, in a way civilians probably don't.

Harlo: Also, kidnapping sims that you do after one day of training DO NOT ever bring in the "cuntstick" with a baggie full of different torture knives. That would absolutely dampen your spirit as far as escape is concerned.

Micah: I just wanna say that Dom is a fucking badass.

Harlo: Yeah, she fucking nailed it.

Micah: Pulling the knife out of your chest and stabbing someone else with it, then shooting your captors.

Yael: That was awesome. It was cool that Dom had a plan, too. I was pretty disappointed that she didn't before. And now the license plate thing makes sense whereas before I was like, of course Dark Army is surveilling you; they own you.

Harlo: I have a nitpick. In the scene where Janice calls her bang-bang-bois over Signal. Didn't Signal at the time NOT play the regular phone ringing tone? Instead, it was this kinda cool radar sound? It used to have this amazing submarine radar sound. Also, Dom and Irish bastard are not using Signal. They were using regular-ass phone. But whatevs. I feel like a fucking walking ad for Signal nowadays. I must be absolutely insufferable.

Yael: I heard something recently about how Signal wasn't secure for people in China who use an Android keyboard.

Harlo: It's because sometimes your keyboard is a snitch. It's not a Signal problem per se, but by default, you might find yourself typing secrets into Signal that are captured by your keyboard, and then, anything goes.

Yael: Well, maybe Signal shouldn't allow external keyboards, or not have them on by default, hmm…

Harlo: In settings: there is "incognito keyboard," and if that's in your threat model, turn it on.

Yael: Do you think Darlene giving up her brother's location was the right call? Or his phone's location? She's basically trading his life for (maybe) saving Dom's family members' lives.

Micah: I don't know… it's kind of impossible to decide between who should get murdered and who shouldn't.

Jen: Mr. Robot's version of the trolley problem. I mean, a bunch of kids were gonna get killed. Sad, but a reasonable call.

Yael: Janice could just kill them anyway, though. It was hard to tell whether Dom thought Janice was gonna kill her family or knew they'd have escaped. But I can see why Darlene did it. I was surprised she didn't do it after Dom got stabbed. I want to know whether it's advisable to tell your armed kidnapper to eat shit, then die.

Micah: She gets my respect for it.

Yael: I've had a crush on Darlene since Season 1. Even if she is a murderer.

Jason: I think it's hard to consider Janice a credible person to negotiate with. She seems unreliable… why would Darlene expect to survive, even if she does everything Janice wants?

Yael: Yeah, that's why I wasn't sure it was a good call.

Micah: Yeah, she's terrifying because she's an unreliable psychopath.

Harlo: There are different classifications of kidnappings. What we saw on Mr. Robot was NOT the most prevalent one, which is just about squeezing money out of someone whose family/loved ones might have it.

Phone Restore

Micah: I think when Darlene wiped her phone, she actually wiped it for good and didn't have a way to recover the data again.

Trammel: The secure element or TrustZone stores a key that is inaccessible to the user. If it gets cleared, then the Flash memory is as good as erased. How did she recover it?

Micah: I don't think she could have restored it, not without taking a backup of the phone first. But when you take an Android backup, the Signal app doesn't back anything up, so she would have lost Elliot's location even if she did restore a backup. I think instead she just installed her hacked Signal client again, and got pinged from Elliot's phone again. That's the only way I can see that working.

Harlo: I don't even think that Darlene would need her Signal mod; Elliot's was modded only to ping with his latitude/longitude periodically. So all Darlene needs is Signal.

Micah: True. Her hacked Signal client must not care about safety numbers—something we talked about last week. Elliot's Signal client could decide to not trust Darlene's number again if her safety numbers changed, but it looks like that wasn't the case.

Harlo: Yeah, I guess there was no safety measure like, "do not ping if safety number has changed" baked in; too bad!

Yael: Darlene got sloppy! Or maybe it was intentional, in case she had to ditch her phone.

Micah: It takes a lot of trust to put an app that tracks your location on your phone.

Yael: She grabbed Elliot's phone from his hand and put it on for him.

Harlo: Signal wasn't available as a plain old APK then… unless you built it from the source code. But it didn't look like Darlene had a computer with her.

Micah: She had a shortened URL to download her modified APK. Also, it's possible she just logged into a Google account and downloaded from the Play store.

Harlo: Ah, then that would be most expeditious. What I'm curious about is how she restored it. Like, if you need to use the Play store, you need a Gmail account. Or F-droid.

Location Tracking

Yael: I thought Janice had a good point when she said, "You didn't give me your brother's location; you gave me his phone's location." A lot of drone operators should learn the difference.

They seemed like they were outside of Krista’s house. How good is this geolocation tracking? Is it just a general location based on the device’s proximity to cell phone towers, or can it locate the exact floor in the exact apartment?

Jason: Geolocation on phones is flaky, especially if you're in an "urban canyon" like NYC where you don't have good line of sight to satellites. Phones also use Wi-Fi data and cell tower data to identify where they are, but it's not perfect.

Yael: Companies like Skyhook Wireless can provide very specific location data based on hotspot IP addresses. They have these huge databases that correlate hotspot locations with the IP addresses. They use a combination of direct hotspot scanning and the cooperation of app “partners” who pass along hotspot IP data from users as they connect. But I dunno if Darlene would subscribe to Skyhook; it's hella expensive.

Jason: Those location databases aren't super reliable. They'll give you a latitude and longitude that is precise but not necessarily accurate.

Micah: Android has two location permissions, "coarse" and "fine." I believe "coarse" location works without GPS and instead relies on Wi-Fi access points the phone can see, combined with Google's massive database of Wi-Fi access points it knows about, and "fine" uses GPS. I think she would use the phone's built-in location services.

Yael: How fine is fine?

Micah: I guess it depends on where you are, but if you take out your phone, open your maps app, and click the button to zoom in to where you are—that's how fine.

Jen: Kashmir Hill has done some nice reporting on some of the unfortunate situations that arise due to errors in those geo-IP location databases.

Yael: I was thinking about this recently with Protonmail. It has this new privacy feature that's supposed to remind your phone to wipe local data if you enter a certain area. But it looks like it would only work if you were right in the center of the country, and it seems like it’s hard to change the radius precisely.

Elliot’s Hack

Harlo: Elliot's stressed. Print twice?

` “print out

Jen: Yeah, he had some syntax errors in that script. SyntaxError on line 16 (first line in the coinCoins() function).

Trammell: The main call is cleanCoins(), but his cleaning function that passes them through the tumbler is named coinsCoins. And since Python doesn't check that when it compiles code, it might cause a runtime error. Hopefully Elliot doesn’t lose all his coins, like when Sonic hits an enemy.

Harlo: I was totes gonna drag him for that, but I gotta check the tape again; perhaps cleanCoins is above the fold and we don't see it.

Trammell: Sonic collects rings, not coins. Please disregard my attempt at a nerd reference and deduct one from my score.

Image: USA

Micah: One of the print commands was Python 2. The other was Python 3.

Harlo: In 2016, he was probably not using Python 3?

Yael: Elliot has been through a lot. Or maybe there were different personalities typing.

Jen: Mr. Robot is Python 2, Elliot is Python 3.

Yael: What is little Elliot?

Jen: He's that programming language for kids.

Yael: I learned the little Python I do know from the Python for Kids book, by the way. "A resource for the rest of us"?

Micah: Also, why is he using both os.system() and subprocess.check_output()… to call curl? You can make HTTP requests directly from Python.

Jason: Yeah, he should be using requests.

Jen: TFW your TV show doesn’t get permission to use requests, so you gotta subprocess out to curl.

Harlo: lol, they can't afford the rights to show requests. Also!

Did y’all notice the autofill? _main_ (one underscore). Somebody's been writing some non-working code that they're hoping to deploy under duress… Also no pep 8, but hey, what are ya gonna do?

Micah: To be fair, he was in the middle of writing that script, and super stressed out, and clearly hasn't tried running it yet. So maybe we're not being fair. I have typos and broken stuff in my unfinished code all the time.

Jen: Yeah, we're just being annoying. It looks hackery enough for the show. We're just giving the readers of this article what they want: line by line code feedback. If I know anything about normal humans, they love Python programming.

Yael: I don’t think he’s slept in many episodes, either.

Jason: If he was doing real development, he'd have Stack Overflow up, and he'd be copy/pasting from it.

Harlo: Anyhoos, okay, we've got some curl with a cookie; and what are those other flags? Don't worry about SSL if it's not available? I forget…

[Python Image]

Yael: I just want Darlene to finish the hack because she "happens to be smart and good at things," as she said several seasons back. If this episode was Request Timeout, does that mean the next one is Conflict?

Oh, dumb question, but does Darlene actually need to find Elliot to finish his hack?

Micah: I'm not sure… I'm actually a little unclear on the details of the hack they're in the middle of doing, and how it works.

Trammell: Looks like the plan is to steal cryptocurrency and pass it through a tumbler to launder it.

Yael: Can we do an ELI5 about tumblers and mixers?

Jen: A coin mixer is a service you can move your coins through such that you can hopefully disassociate the coins with where they came from (which one would do if coins were illegally acquired). Like money laundering.

Trammell: The base64 doesn't decode to ASCII, unfortunately.

Image: USA

Harlo: What does it decode toooooooo? Shall I get out the CyberChef?

Yael: I don't understand how any of this works, tbh. Like, I know he's trying to steal crypto. CryptoCURRENCY.

Micah: This Python script that Elliot's writing isn't actually the full hack. It's not even exploiting anything. It appears to be laundering cryptocurrency. I think once they steal the money, this is how they're going to retrieve it without getting caught. But this script isn't actually stealing the money.

Jen: The other comment is valid. It looks like at some point he renamed a function during development and when the main() function runs, it'll crash with a NameError.

Micah: It looks like the final output of the script is a list of new wallet addresses that the money was ultimately sent to.

Jen: Presumably, he'd run this in test before moving millions of USD worth of coins through a mixer.

Hackers Dissect ‘Mr. Robot’ Season 4 Episode 8: ‘Request Timeout’ syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[disinvited-guest]

6/2/17 Recap

Ok, here it is, finally.  I’ve only have here what I have written about TMBG’s performance, so to put things in context, I am waiting at the rail that separates the crowd from the stage, I have been there for several hours to hold my spot, and am watching Rodriguez perform the end of his set.

Note: I’m not positive about when in the set a few things took place, so I put a question mark at the beginning of those paragraphs.

At some point during the set, Dan Miller came out and stood to the side of the stage, watching the set, I noticed him walk on, but thought it would be weird to stare, so instead I ended up looking at him awkwardly from the corner of my eye for the next 10 minutes until he left.

Then, his set was over, he left stage, and set up began for They Might Be Giants.  I was so excited waiting that I started to have trouble breathing, and was glad I brought my inhaler, although I didn’t end up using it. I saw Marty briefly, as he gave instructions on where he wanted the drum riser.  And then Flans and Danny over to the side.

As the crew, dozens of people, both with the festival and the band, set things up, I saw a few really exciting things.  Flans was using the guitar he used last tour, but he also had a red one with a checkered strap onstage as a backup.  Danny was using an awesome blue bass that I had never seen before, and looked fantastic. Also, a red Gatorade was placed behind the drums for Marty, which a very confused looking festival volunteer brought out.  Dan Miller had put on a bit of weight, and Flans had lost some.

The MC stepped up to introduce the band at 9:27, three minutes before things were supposed to start, and promised us the band would be onstage “in just a few minutes.”  That few minutes turned out to be twelve, as the band took the stage at 9:39 to screams and cheers.  They started into Damn Good Times right away and it was a very high energy performance.  Instead of singing “she can’t remember the show she saw” Flans sang “he can’t remember the show he saw,” but he kept she/her pronouns at other points in the song. I wonder why.

They moved straight in to Birdhouse in Your Soul, which the whole crowd was super into and were jumping around like crazy for.  After the song was over they said goodnight, and that they had enjoyed performing for us, acting as if they were preparing to leave the stage, and then Flans said something about giving us “The full New York treatment” which I didn’t quite catch.

? Linnell commented that it had been a long time since he had been able to see the moon when he was performing, but that now it was right up there and “I can just look up at it and daydream….”

Flans then talked about his internet habits, claiming to be on social media “23, 24, 25 hours a day” and that when he feels bad about the state of the world, he thinks “how can I feel worse” and goes on twitter.  “We’ve been hearing a lot about how unreliable the sun is as a source of energy, which is…. We’d like to dedicate this next song to the sun ladies and gentlemen”

This led, of course, into Why Does the Sun Shine.   The heat and light of the sun were caused by the nuclear reaction between several Ohio cities, and also some Ohio city names mashed together (like Dakron and Colombuland) when Linnell decided not to give the people shouting out Cleveland what they wanted.

As soon as the song was over, Linnell commented about the unusual insects crawling around on his keyboard, claiming that he had never seen some of them before.  By this point, there were literally hundreds of bugs visible on stage, flying and crawling everywhere.  Flans was less happy about the variety of insects Ohio provided “You don’t understand ladies and gentlemen, every minute that we are up here singing, we are living in constant terror of swallowing a bug.”

Linnell introduced the next song while giving us some important taxonomy information “This next song… is not about an insect, because it has eight legs.” This, of course, led into Spider, which was a bit of an unusual choice for a festival crowd, but had the man next to me in stitches.  Without pause, they went into Everything Right Is Wrong Again, which I had never heard performed lived before and was amazing, even though I got hit in the head with a glowstick during it.

? After the song ended, Linnell announced that he had squashed a bug on his keyboard.  He was genuinely concerned about it, and maybe even a little upset “I didn’t mean to, it happened while I was playing”

?Flans then came up to the mic to give a reminder “to always throw your glowsticks away from the stage” although, the only one that got anywhere close that I could see was the one that bounced off of my head and into the photographers aisle.  That being said, the crowd seemed to listen and no more glowsticks came up front.

Flans then talked about the girl who had come up to him before the show and said that they were her first tape, which he was obviously touched by.  “So here is a song that might have been on her first tape. [a beat] it’s only one and a half minutes long, so I have to stretch out the intro.” This led into Letterbox, which is always truly impressive in terms of sheer number of words per second.  

? Afterwards, Flans thanked the festival for putting this together, but joked that the backdrop, which had a large N M F, wasn’t as they had specified.  “N-M-F, it was supposed to be a T, and the M is ok, but then a B-G, this is Not…Might….ugh”

Linnell knew though “It stands for Not My Flansy”

“That’s right; it’s my new solo project ladies and gentlemen”

“No, isn’t that those protest signs?”

“Yeah, ‘what happened to that guy? We want the old Flansburgh back’”

They then went into a run of songs, starting with Science is Real, which I have a feeling they will be playing a lot in the next few years, and going into When Will You Die and then Music Jail (Quick side note: I’ve been trying to stay objective, but you guys, Danny was just so goddamn adorable and smiley, especially from this run on and ahhh).

Flans then moved to the back and started pushing different sound effect buttons, leaving Linnell to do the talking “Music Jail everyone [a few bizarre sounds from Flans] I feel like I’m there right now.”

Flans then moved to the front, and said something to Linnell off-mic.  Whatever he said, Linnell moved to where Flans had been with the sound effects, and Flans stood at Linnell’s keyboard, saying “I’ve been working on this thing ladies and gentlemen,” which tricked me for a moment into thinking he was gonna play keys (I freaked out more than a little) but instead he introduced the band, including Linnell as he walked back up to the keys, although not as John Linnell, instead saying “returning from the back of the stage to the keyboards Danny Miller”

Linnell gave Flans a quick shake of his head as he got to his keyboard, which I now realize was letting him know that he couldn’t get the sound effect they wanted either, because when Flans returned to the back, he began saying “ring ring” into the mic back there, leading into Mama TMBG, which now apparently has a live outside of older.  I don’t remember all of it, but here are some of my favorite parts.

Flans: ring ring 

Linnell: we are receiving actual phone call

Flans: ring ring

Linnell: that is the sound of a real phone ringing

Flans: ring ring

Linnell: how embarrassing

Mama: I received a text from a Nelsonville Music Fest guy, he says there is no curfew but to cut down on patter. What does patter mean? Linnell: I think that’s fake Mama: Is it a troll? Is it a troll phishing? Linnell: I think it’s a robot Mama: Is it a troll? Linnell: It was a robot troll phishing Mama: Have I been pwned? Linnell: You’ve been pwned, you’ve been pwned by a robot troll

Mama: I’ve been thinking a lot about when you were born, when all 5 of you sprung from my loins Linnell: Can you be more graphic? Mama: The afterbirth was enormous Linnell: More graphic! Mama: And the mucus plug, it was the size of your father Linnell: There were 5 of us Mama: And my two jewels, Dan and Danny Linnell: Your perfect twins is what you used to call them Mama: I get emotional just thinking about it Linnell, to the audience: this is some people’s favorite part of the show

*audience cheers* Mama: I got another text from that Nelsonville guy Linnell: I think that’s the robot Mama: He says to stop this part of the show *audience boos* Mama: Now it’s just emoticons Linnell: It’s a robot troll! Mama: Hey John? Before I go, what’s the Wi-Fi password for this place? Linnell: It is actually emoticons, it’s that finger across throat, this kinda gesture (demonstrates repeatedly), I don’t know what it means, but it looks like this Mama: Ok

*dial-tone*

Linnell wrapped up the bit, and introduced: “This is a song about the 11th president of the United States,” which led, of course, into James K. Polk.  During this song Dan stood behind Marty on the drum riser to play.  The song started out with just Linnell, real quietly at the beginning, and then built up into full rock volume.  

Flans went offstage to deal with some guitar troubles at the end of the song, and they went straight into Bills, Bills, Bills. He had to rush onstage to get to the mic to come in at the right time, but once he was there, he was super enthusiastic, going out on top of the amps once on each side of the stage to sing directly to different guys in the crowd.

? After the song finished, Linnell told Flans he would never guess “who I talked to earlier while you were offstage.” When Flans guessed Mama TMBG, he was given a curt “No.” and then they started into Older.

I had thought that Mama tmbg showing up earlier in the show had meant they were skipping this song, so I was interested to see what would take her place during the longer pause.  Nothing new there, but Linnell did an amusing bit where he turned in slow motion to look at the band, and then back to the audience with a shocked expression before starting the song up again.  After Older, they went straight into an especially high-energy Don’t Let’s Start.  

Flans then reintroduced Dan, and told us that at the end of the next song he had a really great guitar solo “so watch out for that.”  This led in to Fingertips, which was fantastic as always, but a very different experience when most of the crowd doesn’t know it by heart.  During the start of Mysterious whisper for example, I put my hands up and started swaying from side to side, which is standard, but got awkward fast, since most people didn’t catch on until Flans had demonstrated for a few seconds.

Dan’s guitar solo was, indeed, magnificent, and after it was over, Flans stepped back to the mic to say that he didn’t know about us, but “I wish that part of the show were four times longer.  As he said this, the robot effect was turned on, and he enjoyed this by repeating the phrase “jam band” a few times.  Linnell then greeted “Robot Flansburgh” and Flans asked him for the not he had to sing, explaining to the crowd that he only sang one note in the next song.  I had been expecting Robot Parade, so when this tipped me off that they were doing Nanobots I freaked out more than a little (may or may not have screamed).

He tested singing his note, and made the crowd sing it with him, shouting “It’s only one note people!“  That may have been the case, but Flans struggled with it a bit during the actual song, and only did backing vocals at the beginning and the very end.  Regardless of that, it sounded fantastic and I loved hearing it live!

After the song, Flans brought up the new album, “We are currently working on our 20th album ladies and gentlemen, which is exactly like it sounds, both strangely familiar and yet impossibly difficult.” He then transitioned into talking about the start of the band, and how, just 3 years before, he was attending college in Yellow Springs “Enjoying the raw milk.” “Good times were had by some, I was one of them.”  At this point I genuinely thought I was about to hear Out of Jail, but Flans went on to introduce the song as from the first album (I was only a little disappointed), and they started into Number Three, which was great as always, and the line “talking like he was on tv” has a very different meaning with the current President.

After the song was over, Flans introduced Marty to the crowd again, and had him play the beat for the song.  He told us that "this is all he plays on that song” and made us clap along for a few seconds, telling us that “we are the only Alabama cover band that matters.”  After all of that excitement, Flans apparently forgot with song was next on the setlist.

Flans, to Linnell: What song do we play next? Linnell: This is a new-ish song, off of our 19th album. Flans: Oh, I like this one!

Flans: (off mic) which song is it? L This song has a very long title and that title is I Love You for Psychological Reasons

This song is always fantastic live, and this was no exception, with a very smiley Linnell giving it an

extra edge.

               As soon as the song ended, Marty started up the intro to Particle Man, with Flans telling us to “put your hands together on the backbeat,” while Linnell got his accordion. The requested seemed to be too much for the crowd, and Linnell said mockingly “What is a backbeat? It’s so hard!” before he began the song.  Once again, the bridge included a Swing from the Chandelier interlude, which was so powerful that I too was ready to lie like Triangle Man doesn’t exist.

Linnell went straight back to put down his accordion after the song (Only one on the accordion? Really?) and returned to his place at the keyboard.  

There was a slight, awkward pause, before Flans stepped up to the microphone “Thanks everybody! We can’t start this next song until the lights come up, because I need to see my hands!”  This got a laugh and a cheer when the lights guy obliged, and the band started in on; Let Me Tell You About My Operation. It was good, but Flans was less energetic than he sometimes is during the song (because he had to look at his hands, obviously, but still).   The final song was the Mesopotamians, which was super high energy, and the guy next to me, who was a teacher, leaned over and said ‘this is what I teach. When it was over, the guys all left the stage and the crowd began whistling and cheering for an encore.  I wasn’t sure we were going to get one, but screamed and cheered with the rest, and pretty soon, they all returned to the stage.

Linnell moved to he back to collect his accordion, while Flans stepped up to the mic.  He thanked the festival, calling their regular experience a “tunnel of torment” and said that the organization was a nice change.  While he was speaking, a guy went around gathering up some of the setlists, and replacing them with other sheets of paper, which I assume listed the songs for the encore.  As Flans left the mic, he picked up one of these sheets, glanced at it, and then crumpled it up and put it in his pocket.  Linnell moved downstage, now with his accordion, and they started into Doctor Worm.

Since Linnell had his accordion, Dan played keyboard, and the whole thing sounded great.  There was no jump off the drum riser from Danny, probably because the riser was on wheels, and Linnell had Rabbi Vole playing the solo.

Dan moved over to his guitars after the song was over, and Linnell put away his accordion.  Flans introduced Dan again, and promised us this next song had “an awesome intro.”  He then went offstage and put on a jacket (it had gotten a bit chilly), while Dan started into Millerstanbul.  As Flans came back onstage, the guitar intro now fully in swing, he made the tiniest little “ohhh” into the back mic.  It was random and hilarious, and it made Dan laugh a bit, so that he had to pause before continuing.  As always, Dan’s skills were unbelievable, and the song itself was high energy, involved Flans removing his guitar strings, and had two fake endings.

As the song wound down, Flans said “Thank you guys, you’ve been a great audience, goodnight!” and they all left the stage. The majority of the crowd took this as the end of the show altogether, and the lighting guy had to put on a pretty significant lightshow to get the crowd cheering again.

Finally, Flans, Linnell, and Marty came back up to the stage, and Flans said to us all “I’ve learned a lesson in show business today, and that is: Never Say Goodnight,” he went on to introduce the final song of the night, Dead.  As he did Danny came onstage, zipping up an adorable coat.  

Then they started the song.  This was one of the last songs they played in Philly, and it was the song where Linnell teared up, so it was incredibly rewarding for me to see him so incredibly smiley during this performance.  They finished the song, and Linnell said “Thank you, goodnight” with a teasing look at Flans, before they all left the stage, ending the show.

Marty ran out very quickly afterwards, with a clear destination, handing over his drumsticks and disappearing again in a matter of seconds.

Soon after, I was surprised to see Flans back out on the stage, and as he approached the front of the stage, I assumed he had stickers or something to hand out.  Instead, he bent down to say something to a security guard, who then helped him to step down of the amp, and onto a step above the rail separating the crowd from the stage. He then began signing things, and taking pictures, and chatting with the crowd! I was in shock, but that didn’t stop me from crowding towards where he was.

While I was waiting my turn, I watched Danny’s attempts to get his thigs packed up, while also directing the festival crew on how other things needed to be packed.  I guess that he didn’t trust the festival guys.  Some people shouted at him for setlists (which if they had been paying attention, they would’ve known had been taken offstage) he ignored them, although eventually one festival crew guy handed out the one off of the keyboards.

Then, I was close enough to hear Flans conversation with the fans.  When one of them said something about Linnell, he got really excited and started off on a tangent: about the painter John Linnell.  He asked if they had heard of the painter, talked some about his landscapes, and said that he had been friends with a really famous Romantic artist, but he couldn’t remember who (I looked it up later, I think he was thinking of William Blake).  The whole time, he was just so Excited and it was adorable.  As he wrapped up his Art History lecture, Flans told us as a group that we needed to hurry, because he was needed backstage.  We stepped up the pace accordingly.

As he signed, a woman next to me asked him if she brought their old glockenspiel to a show, if they would play Shoehorn With Teeth.  He told her they probably would, and asked which glockenspiel it was “We’ve given away a few over the years.”  When he found out it was from the show in Columbus with the power outage, he talked about that for a bit “the power grid to the whole city went out.  Not many people realize this, but when the power goes out and you’re in a room full of people who don’t feel like they’ve gotten their evening’s worth of entertainment…”

When it was my turn, I got a handshake and a picture (which didn’t turn out, oh well) and walked away, to catch my breath and find my car, already eager for the next show, whenever it will be.

I missed a few things in my notes that I recalled later, I have no idea when in the show they were, but here they are, sans context

At one point, Flans said that the crowd had “The perfect blend of glasses and beards” and then added “that’s just the ladies.”

The person in the Queen Bee costume, who had been walking around the festival all day walked through the crowd towards the end of the set.  The band was very surprised and impressed.  Danny took a picture, which I’m sure you’ve all seen, and Flans said that the bee was their old manager, and that if you wanted to promote your band, he was the guy.  Later, the Bee had Flans sign their costume.

#tmbg #recap

[jewishsunshine-cats]

Perception (YOI)

*crashing and banging*

*dramatically thrown dishes*

*garbled swearing*

FOUR POSTS, PEOPLE.

Count ‘em, FOUR Yuuri!!! On Ice metas.

But I had another epiphany, in the shower this time, and thought I'd share. But first I'd like to point out I do have other things on the brain beside sports anime. I think about ending world hunger sometimes too.

So the theme of this meta is perception. Perception which, both preconceived and imagined, can color every part of our lives. Perception which has power. The power to completely change how we view the same situation.

And the power of perception is huge in YOI.

Let’s start at the beginning--the very beginning. What were your perceptions of the characters after watching the trailer, or hearing about it on Twitter, or from a friend? You see Yuuri, with his wide eyes behind his glasses, his plain clothes and you instantly assume he’s a wannabe. Someone who is mediocre but has secret delusions of grandeur. Then you watch the first episode and Yuuri confirms this. He even calls himself “mediocre” and “dime a dozen.”

So then Victor shows up and we all know how it's gonna go. Gold-winning skater swoops in and saves the day by working Yuuri to the bone and helping him reach his potential, a potential that no one knew he had in him.

But then you start noticing things. You notice how other characters, characters that know Yuuri, start talking about him. They talk about his stubbornness, his determination, his work ethic. They talk about what a big deal he is in the skating world. So then you do a little research. You realize that to even qualify for the Grand Prix how good Yuuri has to be. Actually, not just good. This is an international competition which requires you to be invited, seeded, and have a certain level of previous wins to even qualify. And Yuuri, with absolutely no help from Victor, makes it. So, how is any of that “mediocre”?

This is the first time we get the feeling our first perception was wrong. It is also the first time we realize how unreliable a narrator Yuuri is. And that's when we also realize that the misperception isn't just on us, it's on Yuuri as well. Because Yuuri perceives himself as “weak” and “mediocre” so do we the audience because the story is from his point of view. And Yuuri’s anxiety changes his perception of himself into something he's not. He is not weak. He is not mediocre. He is an amazing skater all on his own. He works hard. He is stubborn. For someone of his skill level, his dreams of winning to Grand Prix are already attainable. But it's his misperception of his own skills that make it hard for him to see that and he nearly sells that misperception to the audience.

Now backtrack with me to the beginning again. What was your first perception of Victor when you first heard about the show? Gold-winning skater, not just once but five times. This guy has been winning awards and gaining acclaim for his skills consistently for at least the last ten years. So clearly the guy is arrogant. Add in his good looks and you got a player. So, someone who loves himself, doesn't really care about others and is only there to help Yuuri because he was bored and is gonna get something out of it.

Jump to the end of episode one, and Victor showing up in the most flamboyant and self-assured way possible. Like, of course Yuuri wants him as a coach. He's well, him, who wouldn't? We get Yakov calling him selfish and Yurio calling him forgetful and single-minded. So if people who have known Victor for years are calling him that, selfish and single-minded he must be.

But again, you start noticing things. You notice that Victor actually seems interested in Yuuri as a person. Asking him personal questions, remembering what he tells him, and even going out of his way to meet Yuuri at his level. And even though he doesn't shy away from a little bite or hard truth now and again, you know one thing he never does? He never brings up his accomplishments. He never rubs his medals or winnings in anyone’s faces. He goes out of his way to be nice to his fans, chastises Yuuri for blowing off someone who looks up to him, and doesn't treat any of the other competitors as “beneath” him because he's won more awards. Victor is human and, of course, has his sins and vices like the rest of us but “self-absorbed” and “arrogant” don't seem to be two of them. We start to think that, maybe, Victor isn't such a bad guy after all. Maybe this did all start cause he was bored but at least he is trying to take this coaching thing seriously so maybe it'll all work out in the end for Yuuri.  

11 out of 12 episodes are from Yuuri's point of view. So even though we start to realize how unreliable a narrator he can be, we can't help but let our perception of Victor, of the other characters, of the situation, even of Yuuri himself get colored by Yuuri's own personal perceptions.

Yuuri describes himself as mediocre, so therefore he must be.

Victor showing up is completely out of the blue. His motives may or may not be completely pure. Maybe he was just bored. Maybe as Yurio suggested he was just looking for fresh inspiration. But what if the motives are less pure, such as he saw Yuuri as a pity case? Or even something worse?

Yurio sees Yuuri as hopeless, talentless and should just retire. Why should he see him as anything else? There's no reason for Yurio, or even little Minami, to look up to someone like Yuuri when there are skaters like Victor, Chris, and JJ around.

Of course, we've already established Yuuri is not a mediocre skater but what about the others? Are they just more misperceptions caused by Yuuri's unreliable narration? Or are they true? We are left to wonder (or simply accept as truth) for awhile.

Until we get the bombshells that are episodes 10 and 12. And we realize how wrong our perceptions have been all along.

Yurio’s anger at Yuuri in episode 1 is not about his name, not really. It's because Yurio admires Yuuri. looks up to him, in some ways. And when Yuuri performs so poorly, Yurio, in the egotistical way all too common in the teenaged brain, takes it as a personal offense. Like, I complimented you and that's how you repay me? He wants Yuuri to do well, to do better, to prove he is someone worth looking up to. To be someone Yurio can hold up and say him. That's who is worth my time to be like.

Victor showing up is not out of the blue, like it first looked. It was at Yuuri's own request. Victor's forwardness wasn't arrogance, it was in response to Yuuri. Victor was merely responding in kind to Yuuri and how he treated him at the banquet. There was no assumption or randomness about Victor's decision. He planned it. He prepared for it. He had his old costumes packed and ready, he had his passport set, basic necessities (including his beloved pet) prepared for travel. There's even evidence to suggest he had been practicing Japanese to be able to converse with the locals who didn't speak English.  Victor came because he wanted to. Because Yuuri asked him too. Because he was already on his way to being more than a little in love. But since Yuuri doesn't remember any of this, we don't perceive Victor's infatuation. We don't perceive that Victor was never out of Yuuri's reach. We don't perceive that Yuuri was the playboy in the story all along. But when we do, everything suddenly changes.

And the story we first thought we were going to get: the one about a shy young man who gets coached by his childhood idol. The story about a mediocre skater who blooms under the tutelage of a gold winning one. The story of the underdog who gets a second chance and gains confidence while at the same time teaching his arrogant, self absorbed coach to care about others. Turns into something else entirely.

Once we are finally able to strip away all the misperceptions and unreliable narrative we are left with this. A story about a young man who, due to chronic anxiety, is his own worst enemy. A young man who, despite all that, has worked and worked until he is one of the top figure skaters in the world. But somehow he is still unable to see himself as someone worthy of being admired or looked up to. Someone who he can't believe has caught the eye of his childhood idol, and not just because of his skating. This is the story of a lonely champion. A man who has been forced to play the part of the gold standard for so long he wants nothing more than to be human again. To love and be loved for being no one but himself. This is the story of a hormonal teenage who has been made to grow up a little too fast. Who has to think about his family and money when his biggest concerns should be things like school and getting being with friends.

This is a story about life and love.

This is the story of a Grand Prix figure skater who is finally learning to take the world off his shoulders, the adorkable gold medalist who loves him (and his fluffy poodle), and their angry but lovable adopted son who both admires and is embarrassed of the pair of them.

#Yuri on ice #yuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #YOI #meta #please stop me #i can't anymore #how am I still finding stuff from this show #still not over it #gah